"[Waves crashing]" "What am I looking for?" "[Dart landing]" "[Instant messenger beeps]" "I have these sick shades." "Orange frames." "I'll wear those." "Cool." "I'll be wearing a green shirt with a cartoon lizard on it." "Don't be jealous." "[Instant messenger beeps] Ha." "Okay." "Look..." "It's really important you don't tell anyone" "[Instant messenger beeps] For sure." "Same here." "I mean, I'm not even sure I'm... you know?" "[Instant messenger beeps] Totally get it." "I don't like labels either." "Perfect." "Geography Club" "Hey!" "[Phone rings]" "Hey, beatch..." "What?" "Beatch is not a curse word, mom." "There is an e in it!" "Oh, hey, sorry." "Um... what's up, man?" "Nothing." "It's just uh... you know... whatever..." "You go to our school?" "Yeah." "Yeah, now that's weird." "Shit just got weird." "Are you ok?" "I'm great." "It's just I... you know... at the park... joy and sunshine..." "Huh." "Uh..." "I think I'm gonna head to practice." "Oh, that's right." "You're..." "you're on the football team." "Thanks for reminding me." "No, I..." "I mean..." "like break a leg or whatever..." "Break my leg?" "Never mind." "Ok." "Wake up!" "You're driving me bananas." "Wake up!" "You're driving me bananas." "Line up everyone!" "Single file, please." "Permission slips." " You get accepted into Yale or something?" " Not yet." "But you bought a sweatshirt?" "My Dad bought it for me." "Oh." "Is he hinting at something?" "More like bludgeoning me over the head." "Is that breakfast?" "No." "Ding dong was for breakfast." "This is dessert." " Classic." " Hmm." "It's all good." "[Big Confession by 16 Frames plays] ♪ You don't have to say anything, but ♪" "♪ at least tell me your name. ♪" "♪ At least tell me your name. ♪" "♪ It's the first time. ♪" "♪ It's the last time. ♪" "Why did you want us to sit back here?" "'Cause it's cool to sit at the back of the bus." " Really?" " Yeah." "Hey, isn't that the kid who got suspended last year for jacking off in the clinic bathroom?" "Yeah, but so what?" "Wait, what are you doing?" "Reading." "Is that ok?" "Yeah, no, it's... totally fine..." " ...if you never want to get laid." " What do you mean?" "I'm just saying, you have to have game, Russell." "Take it from me." "Girls away from home are right for some sweet, sweet loving." " Hmm." " I know." "Kimberly?" " Yeah?" " [Laughs]" "Ah..." "Nothing, just... good morning and stuff." "Morning, Gubber." "[Laughs] It's Gunnar, actually." "Gunnar." " Very smooth." " You shut up." " Gubber." " Leave me alone." "Ah-ha-ha..." "Yeah, you tickle that tinsel, boy!" "Good for you!" "Man, he doesn't care where he's at!" " That kid is ruthless!" " Why you don't just let him..." " Relentless!" " Please, please." "Let him "what" in peace!" " Yeah, you can't even say it, can you?" "Hey, Kimberly!" "You look exhausted." "Maybe we should... take a break or something?" "And do what?" "Not even if your balls pumped free vodka!" "Don't even think about it!" "What?" "She's wearing a promise ring, dipshit." "I promised my dad I'd be a virgin until 30." "Ok, I-I-I didn't say anything." "Oh, please." "I know what you were thinking." "Hey, dude?" "I don't understand this stuff, can you help me out?" "Uh, yeah, sure." "Just outside." "Ok." " Did I get everything wrong?" " Nope..." "Um..." "I think you got the date right." "I'm kidding.." " That's wrong too..." "It's the 27th." " Ha..." " This is impossible." " Not really." "Um..." "So, what you're looking for is hard black shapes with or without an animal." "And judging by what you're describing in your journal you basically found a lot of rocks today." "Wait." " This isn't a fossil?" " No, rock." "But, that's awesome if you got a rock collection at home." " I don't." " Yeah, I didn't think so." "So uh..." "I'm going to tell you what's alright and you're gonna describe fossils that..." "you never found." "Yeah?" "Thanks, man." "I..." "I just cannot afford to fail this class." "Grounded?" "No, they uh... won't let me to play football if I have shitty grades." "No offense, but I would never come on a science trip for fun." "You know what I mean." "It's just... not my thing." "Yeah..." "Yeah, sure." " You ready?" " Yeah." "Ok." "Umm... so let's see here..." "Wait, I think you're describing a leaf..." "[Inaudible dialogue]" "Dude, I have killed like, 3 spiders today." "This thing is crawling with them." "It's really not something to brag about." "They're living things, Gunnar." "Yeah?" "Counting the cats your people eat for breakfast?" "Yeah, that's a Vietnamese tradition." "I'm Chinese, asshole!" " Here." " Ah..." "Kill it!" "Oh!" ".." "Gunnar asshole." " Hey." " It's good." " I can tell." " Mm." "Hey, we got a game going on over by the bunks." "Hmm..." "Uh, it's-it's not the state championship but, it's gonna be fun." "Sounds cool." "Wipe your face up, it's embarrassing." "Shut up, brains." "I'm gonna faint..." "Too much running..." "Hang in there, big guy." "Last play." " Well, we're gonna lose." " We need more one touchdown to win." " No, he's right." "This is impossible." " Guys, guys, focus!" "I think I'm going to throw it long." "Then I'm going to take it to Russell." "I'm going to dump it off to him." "Think you can run it in?" " Uh..." " Good." "All war!" "Ready?" "♪ Setting up the boulevard, girl you know you'll go far. ♪" "♪ It's like Hollywood Boulevard, ♪ ♪ but you know who you are. ♪" "Set!" "Hut!" "♪ Little American star. ♪" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Go!" "Ah ha ha ha!" "Whoo!" "Whoo!" "Yes!" "Come clean." "What?" "Brainy dudes do not have that kind of athletic ability out of nowhere." "I ran track freshman-sophomore year." "Colleges like that kind of thing." "[Thunder rumbling]" "It looks like it's gonna pour?" "Don't be a chick." "It's just a little rain." "Fine." " What are you writing?" " Nothing, just... fixing your report." "Well, not fixing, more like surgically repairing." "[Laughs] You always been this smart?" "I'm not sure I'm that smart, actually." "Just gonna obsess with getting into a good college." " Why?" " My Dad has a plan for me." "And getting into Yale is part of that plan." "You're kind of a kiss-ass, huh?" "No, I'm not!" "I..." "Well anyway, why do you care about football so much, huh?" "Sure you're not just trying to live up to your dad's expectations also?" "Positive." "Play 'cause I love it." "[Thunder crashing]" "Whatever... if you gonna judge me, I don't wanna help." "Hey!" "I'm not judging you." "[Soft music playing]" "Oh, wow!" "♪ Wake up, you're driving me bananas. ♪ ♪ Wake up, you're driving me ba- ♪" "[Classical music plays]" "♪ [I Like It by We Cry Diamonds begins] I like it, I like it, I love it, I hate it. ♪" "♪ I do it to myself every time. ♪" "♪ I want it, I need it, I have it, I waste it. ♪" "♪ Oh, change your mind. ♪" "♪ We built our cities on top of the sky. ♪" "♪ Change your mind. ♪" "♪ Iron ships that were too big too fail. ♪" "♪ Change your mind. ♪" "♪ We were so proud and we said it out loud. ♪" "♪ And now were gonna get what's due. ♪" "[Music fades]" "QUARTERBACK Kevin Land YOU ARE OUR HERO" "Meet me in room 327 after school tomorrow." " Min" "[Phone beeps]" "It's Kevin, meet me at the gazebo." "Hey." " Did you get Min's note?" " Yeah." "What the hell is she doing?" "Blackmailing us?" " I don't know." " Dude." "I know!" "Well, can you go and find out what she wants?" " Why do I have to?" " Russell..." "Please..." "I got you next time, I promise." "Yeah... yeah, I'll find out." "Thanks." "You probably wondering why I'm holding this baby." "'Cause you like to touch kids?" "Yes, Jared, I like to touch everyone with my uniquely powerful green lavendar aura." "Ok?" "Today we begin our first long-term assignment." "Parenting." "I'm too young to be a mommy." "To me babies are like... marshmallows." "Though let's not discriminate." "In some cases, we birth chocolate marshmallows." " Right, Ike?" " Come again, honey?" "They're soft, delicate things." "We just want to hold them and squeeze them..." "[Laughs]" "Was that you, Nolan?" " Me?" " Uh-huh." " No, no, ma'am." "It-it was not." " Then why are you missing a shoe?" "But, you're also missing a shoe." "Both of them, actually." "Oh, well that's true, and I would love to tell you all about the spiritual advantages of walking this earth bare foot in detention." "[Laughs]" "Anyway, today I will be assigning you along with a partner one of these babies to take care of." "You gonna watch it, feed it, clothe it and at end of the quarter, you'll do a presentation along with your partner telling us all about your experience." "[Bell rings]" "Ugh..." "Dude, I can't believe we have that work together on this thing." "We were at the same table." "It could be worse, Brian Bund is a single parent." "True that." " What are you doing?" " What?" "Putting it away." " Gunnar!" " What?" " You're gonna kill it." " I'm not gonna kill it." " Bad mommy." " I'm not a bad mommy!" " You're a horrible mommy." " I'm a great mommy." "GEOGRAPHY CLUB" "Nah..." "I can't decide." "Ike?" " He totally has DQF." "It's the eyes." " What's DQF?" "Drag Queen Face." "It is when a guy has naturally thin eyelashes and super pronounced cheekbones." "Oh!" "My dad totally has that." "Hey." "Hi." "I'm glad that you came." "Um..." "I don't mean to be rude but... what is this?" "Oh, well, let me explain." "Because the sign on the door says 'Geography club'..." " I know..." " ...but I don't see any maps..." " Russell?" "I knew it." " Hey!" "He knew what?" "This isn't a geography club." " That's obvious." " Oh..." "We're a group." "Like a band?" "Like a secret support group." "For what?" "For gay teens." "You have no right." " Russell, stop." " Why'd you do that?" " Russell, just listen..." " No." "You tricked me and now they know that I'm..." "Gay?" "I don't know... ok?" "I don't know what I am ...and it's none of your business anyway." "You're right." "And whatever you decide to do, I won't say anything." "About either of you." "Hey, you know what?" "Just because you saw what happened, it doesn't mean you get a say." "I'm really sorry, Russell." "But please, just come inside, check it out..." "You stay out of my shit, alright?" " It was nothing." " Yeah?" "She just wanted to say that we've got nothing to worry about." " For real?" " Does it matter?" "You're right..." "You're right!" "Oh..." "Dude, I was flippin' out." "That day at the park... was that you?" "Or is that just... some coincidence?" "No, I uh..." "I recognized you from school." "You know, I was gonna say something, you know." "I just uh..." " Freaked out." " Exactly." "And then you made me feel like a complete idiot." "Ok, then." "Russell... you know..." "I'm sorry." "I am." "I just..." "Wait a second!" "Ru-wait a second." "What's this?" "I want to hang out with you." "In school and stuff." "Ok." "But I don't want people getting suspicious." "You know, like, "What are they doing hanging out all of a sudden?", you know." " So... you got me a jersey?" " No." "I got you on the team." " Good morning." " Morning." "So I thought we'd ride to school together today." "Ah... cool." "Uh... what's that?" "Ah, that... is Florence Carsi." "Wh..." "You-you named her Flo?" "Yeah, after my grandmother Florence." "So lame." "It's not lame!" "The air is crisp, my friend!" "Crisp." "Why are you so happy this morning?" "No, nothing." "You know, just Kimberly said she'd go on date with me." "So what made her finally change her mind?" "I don't know." "I guess she just finally came to her senses." "It's awesome, man!" "Oh, and uh..." "Kimberly also said that you have to come along as her friend" "Trish's date or else the whole thing's off." " No way!" " Oh, come on, Russell!" "I don't wanna do that!" "Why?" "Just 'cause she wears a promise ring?" "Who cares, dude?" "Trish is hot!" "I don't care!" "The answer's 'No'." " What the hell, dude?" " Russell..." "Look, you have to do this for me." "All right, it's all that matters!" " No, no, I don't wanna..." " Please..." "Please," "I'm begging you as a friend!" "If I go on date with Kimberly..." "for the first time in my life" "I'll have a girlfriend." "All right, do you know how important that is to me?" "Ok." " Oh, dude, thank you so much!" " No problem." "Thank you so much!" "♪ Feelin' dizzy, itchin' crazy, havin' seizures ♪" "♪ feelin' lazy, cold and clammy skin!" "♪" " Oxycontin!" " Yeah!" " Hey, how was the test?" " Nailed it, babe." "Wait, what are those?" "Threw out my mom's pills and replaced it with holistic medicine." "Those are just the empty bottles." " She's gonna freak." " I know." "Hi." "I just wanna observe." "Ok." "I don't wanna say anything." "Not right now anyways." "It's cool." "Whatever makes you feel comfortable." "Theresa's singing the side effects on the pill bottles and I'm trying to guess the drug based on the effects." "Cool." "♪ Vomit that looks like coffee grounds ♪" "♪ swelling and waking all around ♪" "♪ Nausea, chest pains, black and bloody stools!" "♪" "It's Duproxin, my grandma takes it." "Good call, sexy." "Ok, girl." "Your braids are in dire need of" "No." "She looks beautiful." "[Laughs]" "Stop." "[Indistinct conversation]" "Ok, so... what's the gossip?" "Did I already tell you about last night?" "So my mom finds me in my room and tells me she's gonna give me $100." "Nice!" "But says that I'm only allowed to buy a dress with it." "That girls as pretty as me shouldn't be wearing jeans all the time." "Ok, well maybe she's just trying to be nice?" "Or maybe she was just trying to be a bitch." " Do you think that's bad?" "Listen to this." " What?" "Ow!" " Oopsi..." " Yeah, "oopsi."" "So, after weeks of talking to this boy online, we finally met up." "Hmm." "So then I think:" "let's see how far I can take this." "Then I'm all, I'm gonna put my hands down his pants and see what happens." " And he's all, "Surprise!"" " Big package?" " Try no package." " What?" " He was totally a 'she'." " Wait, ok..." "I don't get it." "You see, this girl." "Her name's Samantha." "She's a les." "When she told her parents, they kicked her out." "She came back a day later and told them that she was just confused and to prove it to them, she'd go out and promised to find a boyfriend." "I know." "Tragic, right?" "She said she didn't want a straight dude... said she felt safer with a gay guy instead." "I mean, I did tell her that I was 80-20, but she didn't mind." "80-20?" "80% straight, 20% gay." " Ok." " So what happened?" "We went and got coffee." "Talked for hours." "Bitch is fierce." "So I'm gonna be her fake boyfriend until she figures the situation out." " That's awesome, dude!" " That's really cool." "Alright, well, I got a test I got to study for." " Oh..." "I can help you, babe." " Thanks." "Hey... um... just curious." "What made you decide to come back?" "I don't know." "You're not gonna tell anyone, are you?" "You know about us, too." "[Horn honking]" "[Special by Lego Johnson begins]" "♪ You're the only star I see. ♪" "♪ Mother nature always let me down. ♪" "♪ But you don't (uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh), you don't. ♪" "♪ Come on and get me high. ♪" "♪ Come on and get me high. ♪" "Let's do this." "♪ Don't care what you boyfriend says!" "♪" "[Knocking]" "5 minutes late!" "Hi, Russell." "Hi, Trish." "I'll bet you're a great bowler." "I'm ok." "Yay!" "♪ I can't listen, signal's dyin' ♪" "Hey!" "Here we go!" "Thought we were getting cheese fries?" "Yeah, they were out of cheese, so..." "That's ok, Gunnar." "It is?" "Look, I can go get a... slice of pizza." "It's got some cheese on it." "No, no, no, forget it!" "I'm not even hungry... anymore." "You know, they're actually pretty good." "Give me." "Oh... oh, so... good." "Hmm!" " Gotta love the burn." " Appletini?" "[Snorts]" " Pure vodka." " Hot." "Hmm!" " They tell you I'm getting a car." " When?" "Well, it's not official, but my birthday's coming up and I told my daddy he should get me a car." "So... he will." "I mean, he'd better." "It's my 17th birthday." "I think I've earned it." " Don't you think I've earned it?" " I think you've totally earned it." " Yeah, I know, right?" " Yeah!" "Isn't he totally Pillsbury?" "Totally." "Uh... is that a good thing, or..." "I'd tickle that tummy?" "You know what I mean?" "Kinda." "Excuse me, little girls' room." "Dude, she's perfect." "Yeah, totally." "Um... can we borrow your car?" "Yeah, yeah, you can." "Here, just-- guys, be safe, all right?" "It's my dad's car." "Yes!" "Thank you, Gunnar." "You are awesome." " Ah..." "I don't have my license..." " It's alright, I will drive." " Where-where're we going?" " Come on." "[Laughs]" "What are we doing here?" "What do you mean?" "Ah... don't you think it's a little... creepy?" " I like so it's private." " It's creepy." "[Laughs] Why would I turn on the headlights, silly?" "[Dramatic music]" "I'm not doin' nothing!" "[Laughs]" "So, um... what's... what's your favorite movie?" "I don't know." "That's such a hard question." "If you had to choose..." ""The Case of Thorn Mansion"!" "Mary-Kate and Ashley play detectives and they solve every crime by dinner time." "What about you?" "Oh, um..." ""Dirty Harry."" "Sounds great." "I love "dirty"." " I can hear your heart beat." " You can?" "Mm-hmm." "You're nervous, I can tell." " What?" " Relax." "Ah..." "I'm confused..." "I thought-I thought that was a promise ring." "[Laughs]" "Oops." "What happens in Vegas..." "We're nowhere near Vegas." "Mmm." "[Dramatic music]" "Holy shit!" " What?" " The homeless dude." " Let him watch." " What?" "Mm." "Mmm." "Mm, mm..." "What's wrong?" "I don't know." "Uh... nothing, I just..." "I don't think that we should..." "What?" "You know." "[Dry Laugh]" "Why not?" "Well, uh..." "I-we don't have any condoms... so..." "Well, I didn't say I wanted to have sex with you, now did I?" "Ah, no..." "But if you do want, I have some in my purse." "No, I can't." "You can't?" "Right." "Oh, like you can't get it up?" "Wha-?" "No!" "I'm confused." "Uh..." "It's just um..." "I'm..." "I'm a virgin." "So uh..." "I wanted my first time to be special." "You're great, but you... you just don't... feel right..." "I mean... well, I mean this doesn't feel right." "You feel... you feel perfectly fine." "I get it." "I wanted my first time to be special too." "[Kiss]" "Russell Middlebrook, you're a romantic." "What am I doing?" "[Cheering]" "Let's go, Panthers!" "So here's what happened." "I'm standing there, thinking, "What the hell am I doing here?"" "You know?" "I mean, sure, I've played football before, but this is a whole other thing." "Coach says he likes what he's seeing." "He's gonna take a chance." "He's gonna start me." " Say what?" " I know, right?" "So the game starts." "I'm freaking out." "[Rhythmic music]" "[Whistle blows]" "Be agressive!" "Be, be aggresive!" "Whoo, you ready?" "I can not believe you got me on the team." "Well, you happen to be the best runner I know." " Come on!" " That's where I got confused." "I thought that Kevin got me on the team so that he could have an excuse to hangout..." "And that's part of it, but at that moment, I realized he actually thought I could play." "He believed in me as a football player." "And, I don't know why, but it got me pumped." "Anyways, before I knew it, we were in the fourth quarter and, at this point I'm feeling it." "Shit, I'm-I'm desperate to win." "But just when I thought that we had the game in the bag..." "[Whistle blows]" "[Suspenseful music]" "Defense!" "Defense!" "...they scored." "Yeah!" "[Crowd boos]" "Yeah!" "[Crowd Boos]" "We needed a touchdown to win." "And we're running out of time." "In fact, we've only got one play left." "Middlebrook, you think you can do this?" "I can do it." "Good." "All one-on-one." "Ready?" "[Whistle blows]" "[Dramatic music]" "[Whistle blows]" "[Cheering]" "[Triumphant music]" "We won." " Wow, man!" " That's insane!" "I know, I know, I was going crazy!" "Everyone there was cheering for me and I just kept thinking, "This night can not get any better."" "But I was wrong..." "It did." "[Cheering]" "Yay!" "[Soft music]" " That was incredible." " Thanks." "You're amazing, Russell." "[Kiss]" "This whole football thing is bringing us closer." "I mean... sometimes he can be such an ass." "I start to think I'm kinda over him... but then he gets all sweet and I'm right back where I was before." "[Door opens and closes]" "I'd like to join the Geography club." " Dude!" " Hey, guys." "Well done, bro!" "Seriously, I can't believe you pulled it off." " Thanks." " Mad skills, man, for real." "Guys, come on!" "The game was days ago." " Besides, it's a team effort." " Not that, dude." "Trish." "Yeah, we heard you nailed her." "Who told you that?" "Don't be embarrassed, man." "That hoe's one naughty bi" " She's not a hoe." " [Hits]" " What the shit?" " Can't just degrade another kid's female like that!" "It's not cool." "Sorry, man." "She's not the hoe." "I am." " Thanks." " Middlebrook?" " Hey." " Everybody in town's talking about it." "Everyone knows?" "They were there." " What?" " The game." " Right, yeah." " What else, man?" "No one's ever gonna forget a play like that." " Yeah, of course." " Not even my parents." "They wanna meet the new star." "Yeah?" "Dinner at my place Friday night, you around?" "Kev's mom is a dope cook." "I mean, a woman's place is in the kitchen, am I right?" "[Locker slams]" " You're retarded." " What?" "Yeah, sounds good." "Count me in." "Cool." "And we ended up having to buy a cake, right?" "Kevin was only... 3 at the time." "Oh, no, wait, he was 4." "Oh, wait, no, no, he was 3, right?" "Anyway, the pushy point was that he never would have noticed that I overfloured his birthday cake, but the guests certainly would have." "The party is only as good as its host and the host is only as good as her cake!" "Yeah, I totally get it." "No one likes a stale treat." "That's what happens when you use too much flour, it gets all tough." " I didn't know that." " Oh, that's why I use mixers now." "I make room for it." "That's the truth." "Baking from scratch, it's just not worth it." "I agree." "Hey, have some more." "Oh, thank you." "Russell." "Yes, sir?" "Where have you been hiding, son?" "Ah..." "Excuse me?" "Where you been hiding?" "All these years..." "I've never seen you on any football team before." "Oh, uh... heh..." "I-I haven't been hiding." "I just didn't think I could do it." "He didn't think he could do it." "[Laughs]" "We got a nickname for you, son." " Yeah?" " Yup." " Flash." " Flash?" "After The Flash, comic book character famous for his running'." "Wow, that's... th-that's a really cool nickname." "Kevin thought of it." "You did?" "Mm-hmm." " Hey, Flash?" " Yes, sir?" "I like you, son." "Thank you, sir." "Hey, maybe you should come to church with us this weekend." "Meet the whole family." "Uh, what do you mean 'the whole family'?" "Your uncle Glenn's comin' to town." " Yeah?" " Yep." "He's introducing us to his new boyfriend, Eddie." "Your uncle says... he may be the one." "Says he's pretty sure of it, actually." "So you coming, Flash?" "Ah... yeah... yes, sir." "I'd love to go." "[Laughs] Atta boy." " Why is he doing this?" " Doing what?" "You guys are overreacting." "If Brian comes back today, we'll tell him he can't join." "No club is allowed to turn anyone away." "We're obligated to take him." "I thought no one would want to join." "Is that why you guys named it 'Geography club'?" "No, we chose it because it's boring." "We didn't think anyone would actually come." "Anyways, I don't see why you guys are so scared of." "And maybe we should open this club up, make it known." " No, no way!" " Why not?" "I don't want the whole school knowing about me." "For real." "I already get messed with and I'm 70% straight." "We get to be ourselves here." "Shouldn't we let other kids have that same thing?" "Oh, shit." "Ah..." "I don't really care about the Geography." "I already have an A in Geography, so..." "Thought about joining this club for a while just to make friends, but I was scared." "Little people laugh of me, I'm not stupid." "[Exhales hard]" "Thing is..." "I don't wanna go home after school." "I'm scared of it, actually." "So I play cello." "I play it when I'm nervous." "It's what I do at night, homework and cello." "When I'm nervous and I don't have my cello, my fingers twitch." "Well, I just didn't want to go home after school so..." "I'm not going to force you be my friend, though, so..." "Don't worry about your secret." "I'm not gonna tell anybody." "So be honest... do you think I'm a good football player, dude?" "Yeah, absolutely." "Like, do you think maybe one day, I can win the Heimen?" "[Laughs]" " What?" " It's called the Heisman, you shit tard." "Shut it, alright?" "Hey." "Hi." "Have you seen Ike?" "He left his phone in my car." " Ahm..." "Nope." " Oh..." "Ok." "Sorry." "Are you coming today?" "I don't know." "Maybe..." "See you later." "Let me guess." "One drunken night and suddenly she thinks you two are dating?" " Exactly." " Ah-ha..." "What a fem!" "Now be careful 'cause this is gonna make my hands magical." " Would you just relax?" " They are magical." " Would you just stop?" " Pink or black." "What's your favorite?" "Stay still." " I'm not moving." " Stay still!" " Hey, did you guys read this?" " The school newspaper?" "[Snorts] Ew!" "Well, everybody is reading it today." "Mrs. Toles gave a controversial interview." " The health teacher?" " Yeah." "What did she say?" "It talked about her feelings on sex education and how she was for condom machines in the school bathrooms." "It also talked about that time she put condoms on cucumbers in class." "Today, we're gonna be working with wide variety of vegetables." "We've got cucumbers and then of course, we have squash and zucchini." "We want to fairly represent those who were... genetically fortunate." "As well as those who were probably blessed in other areas." "I was going to bring some radishes to put at the bottom." "Alright, but listen to this..." "Wait, where's Russell?" "He isn't answering his phone." "Ass!" "Alright, anyway." ""Not one student complained to me about my condom exercises," said Mrs. Toles." ""In fact, three students came up to thank me."" "So what is this have to do with us?" ""As a health educator, it's my job to teach all the students," Toles said." "According to Toles, that even includes gay students." ""There are gay and lesbian students at every high school in town, including ours."" ""Just last week I talked to one of them about a support group for gay teens."" ""The world is changing every day and I think it's a phenomenal idea," Toles stated." ""When the school board found out that she'd given this interview," "Mrs. Toles was... suspended."" "Now I'm guessing that none of you would have gone up to Ms. Toles and suggested a gay support group." "Guys, there are others like us at this school and they're looking for a place to go." "I'm not ready to be an outcast." "For real, there's no acceptance for a 50-50 guy in this school." "You guys are being so selfish right now." "I mean, I don't even know if I can date a girl who only cares about herself." "Wow." "I can't believe you just brought it there." "Gently grab the ankles of the child with one hand and raise it so that the child's bottom is off the diaper." "[Sighs]" " Dude, this is retarded." " Just do it." " Why me?" " Because you're the mom." " I'm the mom?" " Yeah..." " And then, so that means you're the dad?" " Exactly." "Uh, how am I the mom?" "Um... 'cause you have man boobs, Gunnar?" "Isn't that obvious?" "[Laughs]" "You are such an asshole." "Uh, ok, let's see... take a... take a wipe and clean where the baby's soiled." "[Clears throat] Hey, you know what'd be cool?" "What's that?" "Kimberly's parents have this really cool lake house and... she thought it we would be totally cool if we went up there this weekend." "Trish will be there too, so... wouldn't that just be the coolest?" "[Laughs]" "Hmm." "Um..." "Yeah, just-just keep the baby's bottom up while you're wiping." " Russell, please." " Yeah, 3 or 4 wipes." " Dude!" " Wha-What?" "Why don't you wanna go?" " I just don't." " Trish is so hot and she's into you." "Yeah, I know but, she-she's too clingy, and everyone at school thinks that we had sex." "Yeah, I don't see what's wrong with that." "Well, I'm not going." "So, whatever." "Ah... as you use the wipes, you're gonna take like, the dirty ones and-and put 'em into the soiled" "You know what?" "This is so unfair!" "You know, the one second, we're best buds, and then the next you're Mr. Popular Football Guy and you not even notice that I lost 10 pounds." " I'm wearing skinny jeans, dude!" " I did notice." "You did not notice!" "Look, Kimberly is the one thing, Russell, the one thing that I truely have going for me right now and you're too self-obsessed to even give a shit." "Fuck you, Russell!" "[Doll cries]" "[Laughs]" "Man, that is one high-tech baby toy." "I'll go to the cabin with you." " No, you don't have to" " No, no, it's fine." "Yes!" "Sweet!" "[Whistles]" " See this sports bra?" " Yeah." "It's my sister's." "[Jared laughs]" "Look at him." "He loves this." "Take it." "Don't be a pussy, dude!" "Put it on him!" "Why?" "It's how we roll." "Be a team player, bro." "[Jared] Whoo!" "[Nolan] Oh, wow." "Aw yeah!" "[Nolan] Hey, that is some talent." "Yeah, let's get him out there." "[Laughing from cafeteria]" "[Sad music plays]" "That's enough, everybody!" "[Suspenseful music plays]" "[Bell rings]" "[Cello playing]" "And we are here." "Hmm." "This place is tight!" "Yeah, it's been in my family for like... a lot of years." " Isn't this awesome, baby-cakes?" " Mm-hmm." "I mean, is tonight gonna be magical or what?" "Yeah, totally magical." "Ah hey, won't don't you ladies go inside and we will be right behind you?" " Fine." " Ok." " Don't be long, boys." " Yeah, we won't." " What the hell, dude?" " What?" " You're acting weird." " Oh, sorry." "It's-this has been a bad day." "Alright, just... just be cool, man." "Ok?" "Alright, Gunnar." "Whatever you say." "I'm serious, Russell." "Don't screw this up for me." "[Upbeat music plays]" " Who's ready to start drinking?" " Me!" " Yes." " Any of you lightweights?" "Better not be, because..." "I don't make light drinks, bitches." " Hey, Trish?" " Yeah." "Isn't Mr. Donaldson like, totally bangable?" "I guess." "Oh, come on, he's such a lickable muffin." "A muffin isn't something you lick, Kimberly." "[Laughs] Yeah." "This bag is rude." "My hands are cold." "Am I gonna get frostbite?" " Yes." " Shut up, dick." " Let's just take some shots." " Great, I love shots." "Uh, I don't want one." " Seriously?" " Can you give me something else?" "Whatever." " You're not drinking, sweety?" " I can't." " You can't?" " Yeah." "Why not?" "Um, football..." "I'd get kicked off the team." " Oh, that sucks." " Here's your Dr. Pepper, lame ass." " To getting trashed!" " Trashed!" "[Coughs]" "Oh, yeah!" "[Coughs]" "This thing is wigging me out!" " What is it?" " It's called the bass." "Oh, my God, that's so trippy." " Ok, who's turn is it?" " Yours." "Mine?" "Mm-hmm." "Trish just dared you to touch Gunnar's dick, remember?" "[Laughs]" "Oh, is really big." "Now it's your turn." " Gunnar?" " Yeah." " Say 'dare'." " Um, dare." "I dare your to make out with me." "Ok." " Is it my turn now?" " But the game's over." " I pick dare." " What?" "I dare me to just freaking do it already." "Do what?" " What's... what's going on?" " Oh..." "I have to go." " I don't get it." " It's not you, Trish, I promise." "Russell, wait." "Trish!" "Don't worry about Trish." "You did nothing wrong." " Really?" " Oh, for sure." "Yeah." "Ok, good, 'cause I-I didn't want to hurt her, you know?" "No, tota-- no, I know, and you shouldn't have to do anything if you don't want to, you know?" "Right." "No..." "I'm the one that's nervous." " What do you mean?" " I really..." "I really like you, Russell." "Ah, I mean, I only got with Gunnar just so that we can chill." "This is so messed up." " Gunnar, we're going." " Get off me!" " I told you I didn't want to come here." " Ok, then leave." " You're driving!" " You wanna go, then walk home." " Gunnar, please..." " Walk home!" "Fag!" "Hey, you around?" "[Car door opens]" "[Car door closes]" " Thanks for coming to get me." " Of course." "What's up, kid?" "I suck." "What are you talking about?" "Everything." "I led Trish on... and then I hurt her." "And, Gunnar thinks I'm a tool, her flake or whatever." "I can't believe what I did to Brian Bund." "I'd..." "I just didn't want to risk anything." "You know?" "If Jared and Nolan hate me, then we can't be friends in public, and that's kil" "Listen, hey..." "Don't you worry about that." "That's ok." "It's ok." "No, it's not." "I'm a joke..." "I'm just a joke..." "You're not a joke." "[Soft romantic music plays]" "Goodkind High's #1 HOMO Russell Middlebrook" "Sit down." "I'd love the company." "Thanks." "You're off the team." "Fine." "Can't believe we didn't see it." "We almost let a girl like you into our group." "Who'd have thought it?" "You know you can't technically kick me off the team, right?" "Oh, we know." "But who's gonna stop us?" "Later, bro." "Hey, it gets better." "Believe me, after a while you just move on." "Why are you being nice to me?" "I guess I know what's it's like to walk around scared." "I hurt you." "So what?" "Just because people don't understand me doesn't mean I don't understand them." " So, we're cool then?" " Definitely not." "You're gay..." "I'm kidding." "I couldn't find you in the cafeteria." "Huh?" "Mind if I join?" "Come on." "What're you eating?" "It's a... fluffer nutter." "You've got a little bit of it on your..." "lip." " Gross." " [Laughs]" "Also peanut butter." " Marshmallows?" " No, banana." "Banana?" "Sweet choice." "Look..." "Gunnar..." "I'm really sorry about Friday night." "Me too." "You know, I didn't mean be so uptight all night." "It's just..." "I can't help it." "I just really, really wanna have sex at some point before I die." "You're a virgin?" "Yeah, so what?" "I love virgins." "[Bell rings]" "Hi, Min." "You still mad at me?" "After Brian opened up to us, you go and do something like that?" " Oh..." "Sorry about that, Chief." " It's ok." "Nah." "See, I don't hit chicks, so my bad, man." " What are you doing?" " Taking Kimberly's flyers down." "This garbage does no one any good." "What if it could?" "These flyers suck, but... what if we made some of our own?" "What are you talking about?" "You said it yourself." "You're sick of hiding, right?" "Look, this is our chance to finally make ourselves known." "With the Geography Club?" "No..." "Goodkind High's first gay and lesbian support group." "So the controller's simply going to pass the information along." "The controller?" "Like the game controller?" "[Door opens]" "So... you gonna beat us up, or is Brian the only one who gets that honor?" "I'm really sorry." "If Brian's good I'm good." "I'm good." "Good." " What are those?" " Flyers." "At least they will be." "We're to make this club a thing, guys." "And if I don't wanna be out?" "Well... then you can join again when you're ready." "Sorry, babe." "We gotta do this." "You got a purple?" " Yeah." " Ok, let's do this." "Someone wants orange." "[Phone beeps]" "Meet me in the sports equipment shed." "Hey." "What do you want?" " Please, don't be pissed at me." " I'm not pissed." "I'm hurt." "Hey." "They wanted you off the team, ok?" "There was nothing I could do, alright?" " Whatever..." " Hey, I'm really sorry." " I don't care, Kevin." " What do you want me to do?" "Look, I'm part of a club." "Or-It's more of a support group, I guess." "What do you mean?" "Like you're an alcohlic now?" " No, I'm not an alcohlic, Kevin." " It was a joke." "What?" "Ah..." "It's other gay kids." "We just..." "we just hang out and stuff." "And it's nothing official or anything." "But uh we just posted flyers announcing our first meeting tomorrow... after school." "You should come." "You know I can't do that." "You need more help than anyone I know." "I'd be kicked off the team." "Oh, is that the most important thing to you right now?" "It's my life!" "Hm... it's your life?" "Hey, we can still be together!" "Ok, listen." "We can." "We just... you know, we uh... we just have to keep it a secret!" " Calm down, just calm down!" " I don't get it, Kevin!" "I have a dad that is... that is pressuring me into going to Yale and living the same life that he did." "And that includes having a wife." "You have the only parents in this entire town that don't give a shit what you are." "It's not about them." "This is about me." "I don't want to be gay, Russell." "I just wanna play football, you know." "And I just wanna get a scholarship." "I just wanna be normal, Russell." "Hey... but I also really like you... ok?" "No..." "I-I can't, I can't do this, Kevin." "Either we're in a relationship..." "or we're not." "What does have to be that way?" "It just does!" "If you really care about me, then you will come to this meeting tomorrow after school." "Ok?" "And if you don't come then..." "I'm done." "I am done... with this whole..." "bizarre thing." "Or whatever it is." "ANNOUNCING!" "GOODKIND HIGH GAY  LESBIAN SUPPORT GROUP" "AFTER SCHOOL RM: 327" "Gay + Lesbian Support Group After School in Room 327" " Hey, guys." " Hey." " Guess what?" " What?" "Mrs. Toles is back and she's gonna be our sponsor." " She is?" " She said she'd be happy to do it." " Nice." " [Bell Ringing]" "GEOGRAPHY CLUB" "You have everything you need for the meeting?" "Yeah, but why, where are you going?" "I'm going to get some work done in the teacher's lounge." "This is your thing." "Let it come from you guys!" "Own that." "You go in there and everyone will know." "Hmpf." "That's the point." "Who died?" "Those guys think they're so tough, huh?" " They are tough." " Well, they don't have what we have." " Yeah?" "What's that?" " Fabulousness." " That's not even a real word." " Yes, it is." "Come help." "Put some chips in here." "Hey, guys." "Uh..." "Made you a sign for your club." "Listen, I told Kimberly not to make those flyers." " Thank you." " But, when she refused I dumped the bitch." "Oh, and then now I'm dating her best friend, so..." " What?" "Did she flip out?" " You have no idea." " She throw her fish at me." " Her fish?" "Yeah." " Here." "I'll go hang this up." " Thanks." "She throw... her... fish." " Big-mouth Billy Bass!" " Yeah!" "Alright, that's awesome." "Listen, dude." "I'm really sorry I was an ass." "Oh, me too." " Thanks for coming." " Of course!" "But hey, listen, man, you could have told me." "You know, we've been best friends since kindergarten." "I love gay Russell!" "[Laughs]" "[Door closes]" "See that?" "You see what just happened?" "I did see that!" "Aww, you guys are gonna make this gay boy cry." "This 100% gay boy." " We know, Ike." " Yeah, no shocker there." "Shut it!" "Come on, eat some chips." " Alright." " And juice?" " Like it, Gunnar?" " Uh-huh." " I'm nervous." " Me too." "This is surreal." "I know." "Should I go start us off?" "Go for it." "Sorry, I'm really nervous..." "I got your back, Russell!" "[Fish plays music]" "Umm..." "My name is Russell Middlebrook... and..." "Welcome... to the first official Goodkind High GSA meeting!" "Yeah!" "Just want to say thank you to you guys for coming out and supporting a cause like this." "It means so much to all of us." "GAY-STRAIGHT ALLIANCE" " Sure you wanna do this?" " Yeah, man, of course!" " People might think you're gay." " Ah... who cares?" "It's hilarious." "Let's do the shit!" "Boom!" "[Other Voices by Parade of Lights begins] FLO'S GAYS DADS" "♪ Take a breath. ♪" "♪ You feel it in your chest, I ♪ ♪ know it's what you need. ♪" "♪ You're not alone, you feel it in your ♪ ♪ bones, let go and follow me. ♪" "♪ Can you hear the other voices ♪" "♪ calling you out tonight?" "♪" "♪ Can you hear the other voices?" "♪" "♪ Go on and make it right. ♪" "♪ Word for word, believe in what you heard ♪" "♪ back when you were young. ♪" "♪ You say, "Hey, stay just another ♪ ♪ day, we're dancing on the sun" ♪" "♪ Can you hear the other voices ♪" "♪ calling you out tonight?" "♪" "♪ Can you hear the other voices?" "♪" "♪ Go on and make it right. ♪" "♪ Can you hear the other voices?" "♪" "♪ Can you hear?" "♪" "♪ Can you hear them?" "♪" "[Song ends]" "[Come Alive by Astoria Kings begins] Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh." "♪ Come alive, come alive. ♪ ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪" "♪ Come alive, come alive. ♪ ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪" "♪ Come alive, come alive. ♪ ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪" "♪ Come alive. ♪" "♪ This road is never ending. ♪" "♪ I am the lonely one tonight. ♪" "♪ Can we just stop pretending ♪ ♪ I'm the only one ♪" "♪ I'm not the only one. ♪" "♪ I see your glimmer up ahead ♪" "♪ Outrun the stars to follow it ♪" "♪ You take my hand, I glow ♪ ♪ Am I the only one, ♪" "♪ who's ever told you so?" "♪" "♪ Oh, I been walking in a straight line ♪ ♪ (a straight line) ♪" "♪ But you, you got me running and ♪ ♪ it feels so right (feels so right) ♪" "♪ I come alive the times we get together ♪" "♪ There's a light I love, could be forever ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need you now more than ever ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need to know it's forever Yeah!" "♪" "♪ Every time we see each other ♪" "♪ there's a light I see, ♪ ♪ see like no other ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need you ♪ ♪ now more than ever ♪" "♪ Come alive, because we are together ♪" "♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪ ♪ Come alive, come alive. ♪" "♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh. ♪ ♪ Come alive, come-- ♪" "♪ You drive me out of my mind ♪" "♪ But I don't want no other kind ♪" "♪ Cause with one touch I know ♪ ♪ That you're the only one ♪" "♪ Yeah, you're the only one!" "♪" "♪ I see your glimmer up ahead ♪" "♪ Outrun the stars to follow it ♪" "♪ You take my hand, I glow ♪ ♪ Am I the only one, ♪" "♪ who's ever told you so?" "♪" "♪ Oh, I been walking in a straight ♪ ♪ line (a straight line) ♪" "♪ But you, you got me running and it ♪ ♪ feels so right (feels so right) ♪" "♪ I come alive, the times we get together ♪" "♪ There's a light I love ♪ ♪ could be forever ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need you ♪ ♪ now more than ever ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need to know it's forever Yeah!" "♪" "♪ Every time we see each other ♪" "♪ there's a light I see, see like no other ♪" "♪ Come alive, I need you ♪ ♪ now more than ever ♪" "♪ Come alive, because we are together. ♪ [Song Ends]"