"This feels so cool." "Getting to feel like this together." "It's been so long." "What do you expect." "What are you doing?" "I'm gonna bump." "Oh, fuck!" " Oh my god!" " Aw!" "I need to talk to you." "I'm not doing so good these days." "I just need some *" "I know who can help." "I called * and they have a place for him." "I don't see how anyone can help him." "Shh!" "Ginger, quiet." "You be quiet now." "All right." "What are you doing?" "Are you trying to read my mail?" "Wha... it's from Levi." "I see that." "Read it to me." "Right." "Because you're so supportive?" "Well, I mean, come on, Amy." "It's from Hawaii." "You're gonna want me to read it sooner or later." "I want to know." "Did you finally get him there, what?" "Yeah, Mom, he's there, OK?" "Well, read it to me, please." "It's personal, OK?" "♪" "Amy, well, I made it here barely." "They took away my phone, so I have to write this shit out." "Can't remember the last time I wrote a letter." "First couple days were brutal." "My heart rate was fucking skyrocketing, and the way everyone was talking so quiet and sympathetic made me really want to drink... or kill myself." "I've calmed down, but I'm not feeling at all." "It's like I'm in a Hawaiian prison." "Honestly, I can't believe you fell for this shit." "The philosophy is just so cheesy." "I may be desperate, but I can't fall for just anything." "They want me to look at my dreams." "My dreams are chaos." "They want me to look at the past." "The past is a junkyard, everything dead, rusted, and broken." "They say to live in the moment." "So all's I ever do is eat." "Well... what if the moment is endless and it's headaches and phlegm and farts and whiners whining about every fucking thing..." "In that moment... that ever happened to them." "I realized he was never gonna come back." "These people are just so pathetic." "And even though I had these kids, you know, these beautiful... these kids..." "I can't look them in the face when they talk about God..." "It just wasn't enough." "and a higher power and the presence of grace." "You're OK." "We're animals, Amy, and some animals like to party." "For me, God is a beer on the beach." "Maybe that's fucked up, but at least it's honest." "It's not wishful thinking." "I went snorkeling yesterday." "I wanted to find the turtle you told me about." "There was no turtle, just a bunch of garbage at the bottom of the ocean." "One of the locals told me the bay here has been polluted by all the boats." "I got to hit it." "All the turtles have gone or died." "♪" "Anyway, your turtle, if it ever existed, is gone." "At least I can't find it." "It's all I got." "I guess we'll see." "Counting the days, Levi." "What'd he say?" "Oh, stuff, you know?" "I don't know." "Is he getting better?" "Yeah." "You know, it's a long road, right?" "Is that all?" "What else?" "Nothing else." "He's there, and he's getting help, right?" "That's all that matters." "Amy... all the treatment centers in the whole world, they can't help somebody unless that somebody really wants to get help." "You got to let him go." "Mom!" "Oh, man." "Ohh!" "Heh heh." "Wow." "Ha ha ha." "I, uh, just finally... wow!" "Oh, I feel a lot better now." "No wonder my back ached, you know what I mean?" "That was, like, a week's worth there." "Thank God, thank God, you know?" "It's really all I've been able to think about the past 3 days." "Yeah?" "Well, it's all I can think about for the last 3 days because you won't shut up about it, man." "Am I gonna have to hear about every shit you take for the next couple weeks, huh?" "Because if I am, I'm gonna out there and fucking drown myself, OK?" "It's disgusting, man." "Makes me want to fucking puke." "Have some fucking dignity, man!" "I'm sorry, man." "I'm sorry." "Fucking..." "Fucking air." "Fucking..." "not gonna have this shit." "I knew it was me just alone, that I had to take care of myself." "I mean, she resented me." "Maybe she hated me." "Is there something you want to say, Travis?" "Ohh." "No, no." "Levi?" "Ahem." "You have something to say?" "No." "I didn't say anything." "But you want to say something." "No." "It's important we all share here." "Yeah?" "Why's that?" "Because when you share, you not only heal yourself, but you help others." "Do you feel judged?" "No." "I don't feel judged." "I just don't feel like telling you about it." "And to be honest, I think that you're full of shit." "Ooh." "Ha ha!" "OK." "Mm-hmm." "Good." "Good, Levi." "No." "You know what?" "Good for you." "That bitch needs to be called out." "I fucking hate her." "You know, she called me into her office yesterday to tell me that I was sexualizing the group." "Yeah." "Like, the outfits that I wear are too provocative or something." "You give dudes boners, Dani." "Heh." "Whatever." "Face it." "Look at those." "What, am I supposed to wear a fucking nun's habit in Hawaii?" "No." "Fuck her." "Come on." "Should we tell him?" "Come on." "Hey, Levi." "Tonight after dinner, we're gonna meet here, and then we're gonna go down to whatever that hotel is down the beach, do a little partying." "Um, and guess what." "I keistered in party favors for everybody." "Yeah." "For everybody." "You guys are crazy." "You want to come with?" "It's tempting, but nah." "Eh, but nothing." "Ha ha!" "Come on." "You know you want to come with us." "You know, I'm trying to behave." "Dude, let go, let God." "No." "I appreciate the invite." "I'm just..." "I'm gonna pass." "Why are you even here, Levi?" "I-I don't know." "I mean, me, I'm just trying to get my head straight," "I'm trying to make a few changes." "I'd like to start eating healthy," "I'd like to start exercising, and I would like to take a break from the drinking." "Why do you think you use?" "Because my mom died, my dad's a dick, the things I thought I should get, I didn't get them, and I'm pissed." "Why not talk about that in group?" "Because I can't stand Patricia's face, man." "I hate her fucking face!" "And even if I did tell her, she probably wouldn't get it, you know, and I hate the jargon." "I'm sick of my room." "Tony is a fucking pig, man, and I really need a new iPod." "I busted my iPod, and I am having a hard time, Jonah." "Sounds like you have a lot of frustrations." "Heh." "You think?" "Levi, this takes time." "Man, just..." "These feelings that you're having, they're valid, but you need to express them here and in group." "I want a new roommate." "Have you talked to Tony?" "Have you told him what's bothering you?" "Tell Tony that he's fucking disgusting and that his fucking farts smell like sulfur and that I'm drowning in his fucking farts?" "He's fucking gross, man." "Just walk over there, Jonah." "Take a look at the goddamn room." "Everyone here is going through the same stuff." "We all need the same things." "Look, doctor... and you're probably not even a real doctor, am I right?" "I never said I was." "Whatever." "May I get a new iPod?" "No, you can't." "Why not?" "Because you're not supposed to have electronics, Levi." "It should have been confiscated." "That is fucking absurd!" "I'm a grown-ass fucking man." "I want a new iPod." "Levi, what's important here is that you focus on your sobriety, your healing." "That's why you're here, Levi..." "Jesus Christ." "not to tune out." "Goddamn it." "♪" "I know we're in Hawaii, but it feels like I'm in fucking prison." "TRAVIS;" "Well, what do you mean?" "I don't know." "It's like I got jungle fever or something." "You mean, island fever?" "Same thing." "Ho ho ho!" "It's not the same thing." "Whatever." "I, uh, need to clear my head." "I'm gonna walk the beach, OK?" "I don't think we're supposed to leave center after dinner." "Oh, yeah." "I know, Tony." "I'm breaking a rule, OK?" "I just need to clear my head, and if anybody asks, just tell them that I went for a walk on the beach, OK?" "You know, tell them whatever you want, man, OK?" "I don't give a shit." "♪" "All right." "Yo." "You guys ready?" "Yeah, man." "You ready?" "Yeah." "Come on." "Whoa!" "This way." "God." "Ha ha." "Goddamn." "Come on!" "Get out of here." "It's a damn jailbreak." "Whoo." "Come on." "I've been looking at this hotel since we got here." "♪ Naw aw ♪" "Open sesame." "Ha ha ha!" "Just find a bathroom or something." "Excuse me." "Where's the, uh, bathroom?" "This way." "This way?" "Oh, hey, man." "Find it?" "Great." "Let's go." "Come on." "Ha ha ha!" "Come with me." "Oh!" "Give it to me." "You got it?" "Open it." "You'd be surprised how much drugs you can find in rehab." "Let me get in there, buddy." "Come on!" "Show us how the professionals do it, Levi." "Ahh." "Dude, this was so easy." "Why didn't we just do this on day one?" "Hold on, Dani." "I got a much higher tolerance than you kids." "I'm almost 41." "At least that." "I'm gonna have to go take a piss." " All right." " Easy, darling." "You are the most paranoid woman that's fucking alive." "Don't get antsy around me." "I don't like it." "Me?" "You motherfucking can't stand at all." "Hmm." "Hoo." "Yeah." "It's good." "♪" "Fuuu...mmm." "Yes, sir." "Wow." "I feel good, you know?" "And it's real, too." "I feel good." "Yeah." "It's pretty good." "I really need it." "Really good." "It's like the locals say..." "I'm stoked, brah." "I'm stoked." "Yeah." "We needed this." "Really glad I met you two guys, too." "We're glad we met you." "You're such nice people." "This is the best place to make friends." "♪" "Those are my two friends right there." "Whoo!" "Yeah." "We're kind of.." "staying at the same place." "It's making my nose drip." "So what." "Come on!" "Fucking life!" "Ha ha!" "Whoo!" "Sorry." "I got..." "Ha ha ha!" "Lock it." "Lock it." "Good." "You know what..." "what really bugs me about a lot of the people in there?" "What?" "Is that you get the impression that they never even really partied that hard." "Every time they ask me to envision, like, my inner spirit or a fucking forest with a unicorn riding through it or some shit like that, the only thing that I can ever think of is the view from the penthouse" "at the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas." "That's great." "Yeah." "It's where I used to party with my ex." "Oh, yeah?" "Punk." "Forget about him." "Forget about... ha ha!" "Hey!" "What?" "You know what we ought to do tomorrow morning?" "What should we do tomorrow morning?" "More coke?" "Go to Pearl Harbor." "OK." "Yeah." "Mmm." "Ahem." "What?" "Oh." "♪" "I got a full bar." "We like full bars." "And if we run out, we can order shit right up to the room." "Ha ha!" "Say, maybe we an go back." "What do you guys think?" "Maybe we should go back." "What?" "Yeah." "Levi, we're not going back." "What are you talking about?" "Go!" "What are you talking about?" "Ha ha ha!" "♪" "Are we happy with this?" "Are you happy with this?" "I'm happy with it!" "That's right!" "Whoo-hoo!" "♪ Dance, dance ♪" "Hey." "You know what?" "You guys remind me of my stepkids." "Really?" "Oh, shit." "This is it." "Guys, this is it." "I'm fucking out." "Heh heh heh." "No." "I had a job." "I had my own apartment." "My fucking asshole of an ex said that hew as gonna deal and take care of me." "Yeah." "He's the one who got me into this mess in the first place." "What, he kind of like screwed you over, huh?" "I'm practically fucking homeless." "No way." "Yeah, yeah, I am, and he's sitting on, like, a million dollars." "I mean, he's older than me." "He's even older than you." "I had no idea how fucked up people could be." "I had no idea." "Yeah." "I actually believed him when he told me that he wanted to marry me." "You know, I believed him." "You were married?" "Yeah." "What's she like?" "I, uh..." "Ehh." "Is she, like, blond, or is she brunette or redheaded or..." "She's blond-headed." "She's blond-headed?" "What a slut." "Ha ha!" "I'm just kidding." "No." "I'm just kidding." "I'm kidding." "Yeah, yeah." "No." "She's one of those people that, you know..." "like, a do-gooder and just always kind of like trying to get you sober and just always involved with all these kind of different causes." "I hate people like that." "Yeah." "She went to Open Air first." "That's the reason I came down here." "No way!" "Really?" "Yeah." "She's the reason I went over there in the first place, yeah." "What a bitch." "Bitch move." "Bitch move." "I swear I wouldn't wish that place on my worst enemy." "Well, she's not a bitch." "Oh." "What, are you still in love with her or something?" "Oh, you know... some... you know?" "Right." "Yeah." "Yeah." "OK." "Yeah." "OK." "Heh." "How you doing?" "You mean that that's, like, your own plane?" "Yeah." "Shut up." "Shut up?" "You shut up." "Really?" "Shut up!" "You shut up!" "Yeah, we could fly right there." "Like, how long would the flight take?" "Shut up." "A flight takes..." "well, I don't know." "I have to get a flight schedule." "I have to figure out..." "where do you want to fly?" "Are we the only people?" "Fucking slut." "She is beautiful, though." "Goddamn it." "I wish we had more right now." "I can't believe we're out." "Fuck!" "Yeah." "Sure it is." "Yeah." "Shut up!" "You ought to see the size of this fjord." "It's huge." "Hey." "I think that Howell and I are gonna take off." "Where... where are you going?" "Why?" "Um, just, like, for a walk down the beach or something." "I don't know." "I got it." "OK." "Shouldn't we be going back?" "Heh heh." "No, Levi." "I don't think that we should go back, OK?" "Are you serious?" "I don't think so." "All right." "You know what?" "Good-bye." "Why good-bye?" "I don't know, I don't know, all right?" "Just life." "Good-bye." "Shit, man." "Let's party." "Unh." "Shit, man." "I'm fucked." "We're gonna get kicked out." "Just sober up, you know, drink some water." "Oh, forget it, man." "We're gonna get kicked out." "I fucking blew it again." "My parents are fucking done with me, man." "I got two DUIs." "If I get kicked out of here, I'm going to jail, man." "Fuck." "I'm going to fucking jail." "I don't even want to wake up tomorrow." "I'm such a piece of shit." "Dude, I'm such a piece of shit." "All I do is talk shit all day long." "Come on, man." "I look at people, and I just..." "I think," ""Oh, there goes that fat fuck,"" "or, "Just shut up, you long-haired hippie fucking retard."" "I just hate people." "There's so much that I just fucking hate, and there's so little that I love." "Dude, I dug a hole, like, 20 feet deep." "I don't even see a way out." "Fuck." "Ahem." "Hey, Travis." "Travis." "Let's go, man." "I'm gonna go, man." "Fuck off." "I'm going back, man, OK?" "Ahem." "Levi!" "How was the walk?" "Good." "Had a good walk." "Missed you at breakfast." "Tony said you needed to clear your head." "Yeah." "You haven't seen Travis or Danielle, have you?" "No." "See you at group?" "Yeah." "Ahem." "Everyone's been asking about you." "I just told them that you left for a few minutes to take a walk." "Thanks." "Travis and Danielle have been missing all night." "I guess they're gonna get kicked out." "Were they with you?" "Yeah." "Listen." "Sorry about my issues, my gas and..." "I just messed up my body all those years with drugs, but I'll do what I can not to bother you anymore." "Oh, hey, Tony." "Don't be sorry, all right?" "But I feel bad." "No." "Listen." "I feel badly, OK, Tony." "You know, I've been a bad roommate, OK?" "You've been a great roommate." "You don't got a problem, all right, man?" "I got a problem, OK?" "So...you know, just do what you to do, OK?" "Fart all you want." "♪" "Hey, Amy." "Still haven't drunk the Kool-Aid, but I'm still here." "Whoa!" "I'm doing their dumb trust games..." "Who's next?" "You want to go?" "Levi!" "I appreciate it." "getting fat on the shitty food..." "I haven't weighed myself, but I feel like lost a few." "You had to have lost a few." "You see..." "Today we had another guided meditation." "Content." "They told us to remember a time when we were our best self." "Illuminated from within." "Never been my best self." "Who is that person?" "The closest to it I could think of was the person you thought I was in the beginning." "I hope one day..." "I remember you'd talk about me like I was this great, beautiful person, and I thought, "Who the fuck is she talking about?"" "I think you don't need to worry about..." "You saw something in me that didn't exist, or maybe it did." "Maybe you're my higher power." "I don't believe in much, but I believe in you." "♪" "I keep going out every day looking for your turtle." "I really want to find it, but even if I don't, I know you did, and for me, that's good enough." "Love Levi." "♪"