" In other news, - god is coming to annville!" "Orsosomelocalresidents seemtobe saying." "Whydon'tyoucomedown  totheallsaints'church thisSunday andseeforyourself what'swhat?" "Innot-unrelatednews, localfreak,Eugeneroot, remainsmissing, andpreachercuster continuestobe soughtby lawenforcement." "Hey, Mabel!" "SoI practiced andI practiced" "what the hell's all this about?" "Told you on the phone." "God's coming." "Come on, mose." "You don't believe all that crap." "Well, better safe than sorry." "Where is he?" "What happened?" "Root get him?" "Redneck son of a bitch." "Uh, rumor has it that an even worse redneck got a hold of preacher." "Son of a bitch-ier, too." "Donnie." "I missed you." "Where is he?" "What?" "I said, where is he?" "He's half-deaf, bitch." "Where's Jesse?" "Hey, tulip." "What are you doing here?" "Door's open, idiot!" "Shut up." "It'slike,onelook andyou'redone." "She'sburnedherself intoyourbrain." "That face, those eyes, that smile." "For me, it's a big, fluffy ass." "Ah." "Well, you know, whatever floats your boat." "All right, Larry." "Prairie dog dropped the charges." "You're good to go." "Hey, listen." "I know you're hurting, but maybe you and Pedro just take a break." "Leave it up on brokebackmountain for now, all right?" "Off you go." "Where is he?" "Like I told your guys, i have no idea." "The past few days, me and  padre have been laying low, and hanging out at the whorehouse, where you got me and..." "Not custer." "Come Sunday, i know where to find him." "I meant Eugene." "What'd preacher do with him?" "Sheriff." "You're going to have to trust me on this one." "You don't wanna know." "Don't I, though?" "I see that you are no stranger to our criminal justice system." "Uh-oh." "Manila folder time." "Mmm-hmm." "Assault and battery in las Vegas." "Let..." "let me just say I..." "Do you know what?" "I told them right from the get-go," "I don't..." "I don't like magicians." "They..." "Drunk and disorderly in Denver." "Lewd and lascivious in Nashville." "New York City, attempted murder." "Oh, right." "I..." "I sort of lost my head a bit there." "Crime of passion." "Judging from this, you're a very passionate man, Mr. Cassidy." "What catches my eye though, are the dates of your arrests." "1961, 1950," "1940, 1922." "And so on and so forth." "And yet I look so young." "Everybody says that..." "But thank you." "Yeah." "I noticed the sunglasses." "I noticed the goofy hats." "I just wrote it down to you being an asshole." "No, sheriff." "I'm not an asshole." "I'm the asshole." "Now, this is medicine for you." "At least, that's what I've read on the Internet." "Come on, vampire." "It's gonna be a long night." "I'vebeenwashedclean." "I had preacher dead to rights in that church." "Could have killed him and been a hero for it, too." "But I stopped myself." "I remembered he'd been merciful with me before." "You remember when we was in the men's room together that night?" "Uh-huh." "He could have killed me that night, but he didn't do it." "Preacher was merciful." "Yeah, so i was merciful, too." "So then, when I heard he was on the run," "I told him he could hide out here." "'Cause preacher saved me." "He showed me that I..." "I'm not a murderer." "He showed me that I'm not the bad guy." "And, um, he showed you all this in a gas station men's room, huh?" "Lose the attitude, okay?" "It takes a real man to let god in his heart." "We're gonna go grab a smoke, okay?" "I come back to the whole town going crazy over god showing up." "And now Donnie schenck drooling and acting like you're the dalai lama?" "What the hell's going on, Jesse?" "I'll bring you up to speed." "First, you came back for me." "Yeah, well, after that phone message, how could I resist?" ""Hi, tulip, uh, i..." "I just ate pancakes."" "I'm sorry, tulip." "You should be." "Do something for me, Jesse?" "Anything." "Yeah?" "'Cause, um..." "I mean, it's bad." "Like, really bad." "Mmm." "I mean, nasty." "Mmm-hmm." "Anything, right?" "Whatever you want." "Kill him." "Well, I had to step to him and say," ""listen, my ma drives me crazy sometimes, too," ""but that's your  madre, brah." ""You gotta respect her like you gots to respect all women."" "It's so nice to hear a man talk like that." "I mean, I'm not..." "I'm not trying to be like..." "I'm just saying, in the end, you, me, our moms, we're all just people." "Well, I'd better get back to work." "Yeah, yeah, me, too." "You know, uh, I'll bring those in for you." "Okay." "Thanks, Carlos." "Yeah." "Hey, Jennifer." "You like Chinese food?" "Not really." "Puta." "WelikeChinesefood." "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up." "What's up?" "Poor Carlos." "Poor Carlos." "Chinese food would be good, though." "Yep." "And a nice cold beer." "Un-huh." "You can't have beer." "Says who?" "If I'm not havin' beer, neither are you." "All right." "Whisky it is." "Asswipe." "Oh, my god." "What?" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no." "What is it, Jesse?" "Show me." "I'll show you." "I'll show you big time." "What the... no." "Oh, yeah." "That is... that's wrong." "Uh-huh." "Come on." "It's like  lady and the tramp, except with our butts." "Jesse custer, do not come near me with that thing, i swear to god." "Come on, you know you want it." "You know, come on." "Put it away!" "Come on, just the tip." "Come on." "Real professional, you two." "Give us a break." "Hey, Carlos." "I mean..." ""We are just people."" "Real smooth, Carlos." "Bite me." "How long to the vault?" "I'd say eight, nine minutes." "These are ready to go." "Fun's over, custer." "Now the pain begins." "Aw, come on." "Come here, let Mr. fisty make it all better." "Hey, where are you going?" "Away from you, you psycho." "Aw, don't run away from Mr. fisty." "That makes Mr. fisty sad." "Get it away from me." "I tell you what, let me make it up to you." "I said quit it." "Let's see if there's Chinese food in prison." "No!" "Tulip, what is it?" "The baby." "The baby." "Why?" "Why?" "You were happy." "I..." "French vanilla, I remember." "I don't need to write it down 'cause it's been your blessed favorite in all the 39 years we've been married." "But, uh, maybe after your bubble bath we could get a little frisky." "No, I didn't say dirty, i said frisky." "You know, like that time that you wore that..." "No, all right, okay." "Never mind." "Uh, it... it was just a thought." "Uh, hush now, no, I'm happy no matter what we do." "As long as it's together." "Yeah, a movie sounds great." "Okay." "Yeah." "I can see you there." "Yeah." "You're about a tough son of a bitch." "Well, you get used to it." "Thanks." "Where's Eugene?" "Okay, all right, i..." "I can tell you this." "The good news is he's alive." "Well, maybe." "Mind you, that may also be the bad news as well, you know." "Honestly, it was an accident." "You know, Jesse, he wouldn't hurt a kid." "Not on purpose, he wouldn't." "Oh, high praise, indeed." "This world..." "Vampires, government agents, psychopathic preachers." "It's all an unmitigated monster swamp." "That's true." "Plonkers and gobshites as far as the eye can see." "Still, nobody's perfect." "You know?" "I mean, you know," "I'm a dark-hearted piece of shite." "That's true." "The Manila folder never lies." "But what about you, sheriff?" "All this." "Last I checked, this kind of questioning was illegal." "Not in Texas." "Not when a man's looking for his son." "But are you really looking for him though, is what I'm wondering." "Just, come on, be honest with me now, like, would there not be, like, a teeny-tiny part of you that'd be happy if he was just gone?" "Eugene's a good boy." "I know, I know that." "But he's sort of annoyingly good though." "Am I right?" "Always talking." "Asking his bloody questions." "And that face." "I just..." "I honestly..." "I don't know how you do it." "Having to wake up to that giant, puckered ass-face staring at you across the breakfast table, day after day..." "Now see?" "This just proves my point exactly." "Nobody's perfect." "You can go." "Good." "I gotta be someplace." "We will burn in hell." "You know what hell is to me?" "Someone screwing us and us not screwing them back." "No, no, no." "That is not hell." "It will not make a difference." "You understand?" "We have to leave him to god." "Oh, yeah, great idea." "Let's use some guy's hand..." "They're gonna wake up Chris." "Heaven on a phone!" "Hmm?" "Just say it over and over again." "I'll figure it out eventually." "Never mind." "What difference will it make?" "It won't make a difference." "We have to leave him to god." "Yeah, much better plan." "Let's use some guy's hand to call down heaven on a phone and let some beardy white guy decide." "You don't know he's white." "Well, he better be or else he'll have even more explaining to do." "So god's a racist too now as well?" "Is that what you're saying?" "I'm saying Carlos took everything from us, Jesse!" "'Cause he was jealous!" "Out of spite!" "Eye for an eye." "And you know what that means?" "That means we get to kill him!" "No matter what we do, that baby ain't never coming back!" "I know!" "And someone's gotta pay!" "What are you doing, Jesse?" "I'm going to hell anyway." "Hey, what..." "Please." "Don't." "No." "No." "No, please." "That's it." "Please don't!" "Please don't!" "Let's scoot you over there." "No." "No!" "What are you doing?" "What's it look like?" "Jesse." "What's wrong?" "That's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever done for me." "An eye for an eye." "You were right." "No, you were right." "It wouldn't make a difference." "Probably not." "It'll feel good though." "Stop, Jesse." "You're gonna mess my car." "No, I'm not." "Trash bag will collect the brains." "Yeah, but there's..." "There's still gonna be splatter and the bullet's gonna crack my axle." "No, no, no, it won't, not if I aim here." "I said no, Jesse." "Are you changing your mind?" "It's the thought, okay?" "That's what counts." "Huh." "So, what are we gonna do with him?" "Ah!" "Thank you." "I'm..." "Yep." "I'm sorry, guys." "I, um..." "I lost my head." "So, no excuse, but..." "So, yeah, this..." "This worked out great." "Anyway, um..." "Hey, Carlos." "Before you go." "For you." "Wait, what?" "What?" "Still unfair?" "Yeah." "Gotta give him a chance, right?" "No." "No, don't give me the gun." "Come..." "Okay." "That's better." "Ready?" "Do I look ready?" "Carlos, what about you?" "You ready?" "I'm..." "I'm not... not really." "Tough shit." "Animals." "The both of them." "Just like out of some horror movie." "Right now?" "At your place?" "And that $3.50 tart, tulip O'Hare..." "It's not Donnie's fault, okay?" "Preacher put a spell on my Donnie!" "You hear that?" "We're on the move." "That's right!" "You get him, boys!" "You get that son of a bitch preacher!" "That's a blown-up bulldozer." "This how you call him?" "I guess." "Okay, let's see." "That looks like the speakerphone." "The severed hand moves over here to power on." "It's pretty straightforward." "All right." "That's the video-con." ""Video-con?"" "Video-conferencing." "As in, yeah, we aren't just gonna talk to him." "We're gonna see him." "What do you think's gonna happen?" "I honestly have no idea." "Well..." "No matter what, we're getting French fries after." "Can I just sneak past, mate?" "Sorry." "Sorry, big fella." "Excuse me." "I'm so sorry." "I'm sorry, sorry." "Cass." "You okay?" "Jesse said the cops got you." "Yeah, no, I'm fine." "They just let me off with a warning and a couple of bullet holes." "Happy you're here." "I wouldn't miss it." "Look up." "It's about to start." "Go sit with your brothers." "Should we save a seat for miles?" "No, miles isn't coming." "He doesn't wanna meet god?" "He's meeting him somewhere else." "I'm here, okay?" "Mommy's here." "He's here." "Preacher's right there, sheriff." "Ain't you gonna arrest him?" "Peace be with you." "Yeah, yeah, yeah." "Thanks for coming out, y'all!" "Ooh, boy, what a turnout." "Yeah, well, it is a big day." "Today, we answer mankind's most pressing question." "Namely, "what the hell's going on?"" "Now, preacher custer here argues not only is there a god, he's going to call him down, right into this room, and we're all gonna talk to him." "Ain't that right, preacher custer?" "Something like that." "What I say, my position in all of this is, that preacher custer, like every single preacher, priest and holy man since the dawn of time, is full of shit." "The only true god, the only real god is the god of meat." "Well, anyway, who's ever right, you know, gets the church, so, uh, enough with all the preamble-ising." "Let's get started, shall we?" "Uh, preacher custer?" "Show us god." "Angel hands." "Yeah?" "Just shoot its dick off!" "Well, all right, yep, there it is." "Guess that settles it." "What the hell?" "The sun!" "It's all right." "Don't panic." "It's okay." "Everyone relax." "It's all right." "Nothing to be afraid of." "Look upon me." "I am the Alpha and the omega and the bright morning star." "I am the lord, your god." "My children, why have you called me?" "Um..." "God, forgive us." "We..." "I called you 'cause we all have questions." "Questions?" "For me?" "Respectfully, we would like to know..." "How dare you question your god?" "How dare you?" "No!" "How dare you?" "You can't shout at us like that." "We're the ones who should be screaming, you sick, stuck-up..." "Tulip!" "And you made a baby cry." "Told you he was a white guy." ""I am" is the only answer you need!" "No." "That is not good enough!" "Look at us down here." "Hearts full of greed, hate and doubt." "Sin is winning and you're losing." "So if we are your children, why don't you act like a father?" "Take some time out of your busy schedule and answer some goddamn questions." "Balls." "Very well." "What are your questions?" "Why do bad things happen to good people?" "Ah, yes." "You see, when i created humanity," "I wanted you to have everything." "Joy, hope, love, but also pain." "Everything that makes you a person." "Do you understand?" "Yeah." "Good." "But why?" "You had your turn!" "My turn!" "Sit down!" "What did you do to the dinosaurs?" "You know, one time, i took quite a bit of angel dust and then I drank an eight-pack of red bull and went to a bieber concert." "My children, my children." "Honestly, this is crazier than that." "Hey!" "Hey, you!" "My family!" "My baby girl!" "My little Lucy loo." "What about her?" "Is she there?" "With you?" "Yes, she is here." "What about you, preacher?" "You must have a question." "I guess I got lots of them." "But if I had just one..." "I've been wondering for a long time now, what's your plan for me?" "To be a Shepherd to your flock." "To tend to them and the church." "But I failed at that." "Why did you give me this power if I can't use it to save them?" "You have not failed, my son." "You brought them to me and so they are saved." "Saved?" "Really?" "Even Eugene?" "Yes." "Even him." "You are all saved!" "It's amazing, Jesse." "You did it." "But I sent him to hell!" "And..." "How did you do that, my son?" "With the power." "With Genesis." "Uh..." "Uh..." "Oh... oh, yes." "Yes, yes, yes, of course." "And who else has a question?" "Can I get my dick back on?" "Excuse me." "I have one last question." "You're not god, are you?" "I am the Alpha and the omega." "No, you're not." "I am the bright morning star." "I just saw you picking your nose." "No, my son, i was scratching it." "You're an impostor." "I am the lord, your god!" "You're not god." "Yes, I am!" "Jesus." "Where is god?" "I am the resurrection!" "I am the way and the truth!" "Where is god?" "I..." "Uh, oh." "I don't know." "Where is he?" "I don't know!" "None of us do." "He... he's missing." "God is missing." "We don't know where he is." "He's... maybe he's down there." "We don't know." "Guys, guys." "I..." "I..." "He made me say..." "He made me say that." "That preacher." "He made me do it." "Guys." "Guys!" "He can't..." "He's missing!" "God is gone!" "Let's go." "Denounce him, preacher." "Denounce him, preacher!" "Denounce him, Jesse custer!" "Denounce him!" "Padre, where are we going?" "Tulip wants French fries." "He's getting away, sheriff." "Ain't you gonna do something?" "He broke the law." ""The law."" "Excuse us." "Let's go home." "I can't believe there's no..." "I can't." "Abandoned." "I can't even..." "Meat!" "Nothing has changed." "We are still gonna comb our hair and brush our teeth and do our best at school." "Daddy's still in heaven, like he's always been." "The good part of heaven, not that scary part." "I know you're scared." "But we just need to stay strong, be true to ourselves, okay?" "We don't need god." "And I'll let you guys in on a little secret, okay?" "We never did." "Nothing's changed." "Nothing's changed." "Uh-oh." "Well, that's it?" "That's the ending?" "Steve buscemi dies of a heart attack, they scatter his ashes, go back to bowling?" "I mean, what's the bloody point?" "What?" "You know you're the only person on this entire planet who doesn't like that movie." "Uh-huh." "That's not true." "It's... actually, it's a very controversial film." "Who here likes thebiglebowski?" "Long live the dude!" "Eejits." "So, what's the plan, Jesse?" "The plan is simple." "Find god." "Oh, no offense, padre,butI'mright..." "I'm tired of the god talk now." "I am, too." "That's why we're gonna go out and actually find god." "What?" "Like a..." "Like a road trip?" "With buckets of guns, sex and drugs and shady characters dressed in bikinis?" "Yeah, I imagine there'll be a bit of that." "I'm in." "Done." "I'm sorry." "We're just gonna, like, drive around shooting people, getting wasted and looking for god?" "Oh!" "I am so in." "And what are you gonna do when you find him?" "Well, if god wants our help, we'll help him." "If he doesn't, we're gonna kick his ass." "Hmm." "All right, bitches." "Let's go." "Haven't forgotten about you." "Gonna get you out of hell, one way or another." "Thisjustin ." "Anexplosionremoves asmalltown." "Annville,Texas,waspowered entirelybyamethanereactor, soexpertssuspect anexcessof flammable cowmanure mayhavebeen behindthistragedy." "Fornow, that'sjustspeculation." "Butauthoritiesfear ablastof thismagnitude willhaveleftno survivorsbehind." "Hey." "This, uh, Genesis thing, what is it?" "You want me to show you?" "Yeah." "Kiss me." "Ugh!" "Don't ever do that again." "What are we waiting on?" "Preacher."