"Hey." "Nicky." "Whew." "What's up, man?" "Mommy and Daddy won't let me watch Bad Boys." "Bad Boys, huh?" "What you gonna do?" "I know what I'm gonna do." "I'm gonna run away from home." "Oh, Nick." "Man, come here." " You're running away from home?" " That's right." "I'm out of here." "Whoa, whoa." "Hold on a second, there, little traveling man." "You running away from home, you gonna need some food." "You know, bums, they don't like to share." "Here you go, a little grub." "And it gets a little chilly out in that night air so you probably need a jacket and a hat." "Yeah." "Oh, you know." "And here's a few bucks, you know, in case something jump off out there." "All right." "You good to go, little bro." "Aren't you gonna try and stop me?" "Try to stop you?" "No, man, with you gone that's more food for me, you know." "Plus, I get to keep your turtle and that banging little bike you got." "My turtle and my bike?" "I mean, somebody gotta claim all that stuff." "All right, I'll stay." "But not because I'm scared." "Not because you're taking my stuff." "And not because of that reverse psychology you tried to use on me." "Well, then why you gonna stay?" "I'm 5, you dork." "Yee-ha!" "Giddyup, giddyup." "Hey, come on, G. It's your turn." "Get on." "Get on." "Come on." "Get on, G." "G, just get on, man." "Oh, what the heck." "What, you some kind of freak, boy?" "Hey, G, we're going down to the race track today, man." "You wanna put a couple of ones on a bet?" "Well, I'm not much of a gambler, Master William, but since you're going back wheel the eighth with the one on top of the two, three and six." "And in the fifth, par tri the three eight with the two and five." "You got yourself a secret life going, don't you, G?" "Will, which one do you think your friend Frank will like best?" "This one?" "Or this one?" "God, I wanna get into the New York School of Performing Arts so bad." "Well, Ash, I don't think they pick their students by what they're wearing." "Do you think he'll recommend me?" "Not if you keep spinning around like that, girl." "Hey, everybody, look." "Wednesday Bingo is running out of post position five." "Not post position five!" "That's his favorite position." "It's the same position he had when he won his first race." "I still remember him standing in that winner's circle looking up to me as if to say:" ""Tsk, tsk." "This one's for you, little man."" "You sure his tail wasn't up in the air at the time?" "Mom." "Mommy, wish me luck." "I really wanna get into that school in New York." " Oh, good luck, honey." " Thank you." "New York." "Isn't that a bit of a drive every morning?" "How cute, Daddy." "I'd have to live there, of course." "Of course you would, muffin." "Of course, it's always been my dream to send my underage daughter off to New York unsupervised." "Isn't that every parent's dream?" "Daddy, you'll warm to the idea." "Sweetheart, just remember that the road to New York goes through me." "What, that be like a six-lane highway?" "Well, Mom, you're okay with it, right?" "She feels the same way I do, don't you, darling?" "There's plenty of time to discuss this later." "Huh?" " Thanks, Mom." "Hey." "You wanna make this first race?" "We gotta go." "Let's go." " Okay." "Bye." " Bye, Mom." "Bye, Dad." "Have a good time." "Vivian, if we don't stick together, they'll win." "Ladies and gentlemen, five minutes to post time." "I'm so excited." "I just know I'm gonna win." "I have a system that can't miss." "Oh, yeah?" "What's that?" "I bet on every horse." "Hilary, one of them has to win." "I know and it doesn't matter which one." "Isn't it great?" "Where's Carlton?" "Oh, he's in the stables with the jockeys." "He's never been the tallest person in a room before." " Hey, Frank." "Hey, what's up, man?" " Hey." "Hey, thanks for these great seats." " Oh, this is my cousin, Hilary." " Hi." "And this is my cousin, Ashley." "Oh, nice to meet you." "Will says you wanna go to the School for the Performing Arts." " More than anything." "That's where I learned to be a director." "Really?" "You studied directing there?" "No, acting, but I sucked." "My old acting partner is head of the school now." " Guess he couldn't even direct, huh?" " Oh, you're smart." "You should produce." "Come by the office tomorrow." "We'll call him up." "Oh, yeah." "That'd be great." "I'll be there at 7." "I'll be there at noon." "Feel free to have a bagel while you wait." "Some short stack told me to get out of the paddock area." "God, that feels great to say." "Heh-heh." "They're at the gate." "The flag is up." "And they're off." "It's Rest Darling in front, Daddy's Best, second and Lilac Lady, third." "I can feel it." "He's about to make his move." "He ain't even leave the gate yet, man." "Well, he's just psyching out the other horses." "At the wire, it's Rest Darling by a nose." "Lilac Lady, second and Daddy's Best, third." "Wednesday Bingo  is taking a nap." "You just wait till he wakes up." "Shoo!" "Will, Frank said he'd help me get into the School of Performing Arts." "Do you think he meant it?" "Ashley, how many times do I have to tell you?" "Yes." "No, no, no." "Really, Will, do you think he will?" "Ashley, the man is in show business, he wouldn't lie." "All right." "All right." "Look, he'll help you." "Oh, look at him." "He looks so sad." " Aww." " Oh, he's so cute." "Oh." "Will, cheer him up." "Sing him a song." "Man, I ain't singing him no song." "The sun'll come out Tomorrow" "Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow" "There'll be sun" "I'm afraid the sun won't be coming out tomorrow for that old boy." "What do you mean?" "Too many years." "Too many races." "The owner wants me to put him down." "When?" "Tomorrow." "It's only a day away" "Oh." "And this was when he was just a yearling." "Oh, and look, this is when he won his first race." "Look, Will." "Carlton, I ain't trying to be looking at that horse all day, man." "Now, look, just watch some TV and take your mind off of it, all right?" "Hello." "I'm Mister Ed." "You bastard!" "Wow, Carlton seems pretty upset." "I think what he needs is a refreshing pick-me-up beverage that's not too sweet and not too heavy." "What?" "You know my motto." "If you're a woman on the go like me, things can get rough." "And when they do, don't sweat, drink Jet." "Jet cola that is." "Oh, my God." "You been sipping that gin and juice." "Hi, guys." "Oh, Ashley, look." "Now eat these mints and whatever you do, don't talk." "Here." "I don't need a mint." "Mom, I went to see Mr. Roberts about the High School of the Performing Arts and he offered me a commercial for Jet cola." " Oh, that's great!" "Let's go tell your dad." " Okay." "This don't seem that hard." "You know my motto." "If you're a woman on the go like me, things can get rough." "And when they do, don't sweat, y'all." "Drink Jet." "Jet cola that is." "Well, then, be a woman on the go." "Leave so I can vacuum." " Hey, Frank, what's up, man?" " Hi, Will." "How's it going?" "All right." "I'm just coming down, check on Ashley." " She's a little nervous before her first shoot." " She's gonna be just fine." "Okay, girls." "Places, please." "Let's go." "Whoa, whoa, wait a minute." "You mean, you just say it and they do it?" "Okay, girls get naked." "Uh..." "Simon says, get naked." "Okay, people." "First positions, please." "We're losing the light." "Let's get this rolling." "Hey, Frank." "I got to tell you, man, it's guys like you make life worth living." "Bringing all these beautiful women to us during all our favorite programs." "Mm." "Man, you ought to have a billboard with your face on it." "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" "Will." "Will." " That's a wrap!" " I am so sorry." "There is no way I'm gonna let her parade around on some beach hawking Jet cola in nothing but a skimpy bikini." "And showing that can all over national TV." "And I ain't talking about the soda." "Carlton, this is crazy." "Hilary, we had no choice." "We needed a place till we find him a permanent home." "What's gonna happen if Dad finds out there's a horse in the back yard?" "He'll blame Will like he always does." "Oh, okay." " Hi, Daddy." " Don't you "hi, Daddy" me." "Just when were you planning on telling me about your little soft-core drink commercial?" "You." "We would've found out eventually." "Yeah, even though they're not showing that much of her face." "I don't believe this." "You're both being hypocrites." "You sit there glued to the set anytime Baywatch comes on." "That's only because I have trouble sleeping and the sound of the waves gently caressing the shore helps relax me." "Nice cover." "Nice cov..." "Ashley, you're not doing this commercial." "Mom, can you talk to him?" "I'm afraid your father feels very strongly about this." "I just can't quit the commercial." "How's it look if I walk out on the person who's gonna give me the recommendation?" "I don't care." "This is more important." "And you're not going to New York, either." "What about what I want?" "Doesn't that matter?" "No." "No, no, whoa." "I am telling you, Uncle Phil, I was there and that commercial was nothing but a disgusting, gratuitous display of..." "Just call it what it is." "Smut." " You don't think I was too rough on Ashley?" " Are you tripping?" "You are the leader of the pack." "It is your right." "No, no, no." "Scratch that." "It is your duty as a male to assert your dominance." "There, I said it, your dominance." "Really?" "Because your Aunt Vivian wasn't as supportive of my approach." "Your approach?" "Man, I got one thing to say about your approach:" "Woof, woof, woof." "You are the king of the jungle, Mufasa." "Yes, I am." "Yes, I am." " You are the ruler of all that you survey." " Yes." " You will be obeyed!" " I will be obeyed!" " That's right." " Yes." "Hi, sweetie, you look awfully pretty." "Well, I guess I showed her." "You ain't nothing but Simba." "What's up, Ash?" "What you watching?" "You know, I have no idea what got into the big guy!" "You got into him." " You're the rat that dimed me out." " Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Wait a minute, Ashley." "Now that hurts." "I'm offended by that characterization." "Oh, I'm sorry." "You don't like rat." "How about snake?" "Weasel?" "Doody-head?" "Don't be calling me no doody-head." "You know how much going to the School of Performing Arts means to me and how much that commercial would help." "That commercial was degrading." "Oh, really?" "It was?" "Which part?" "The part where I'm in clothes driving the car?" "The part where I'm in sweats drinking the cola?" "The part where I'm Rollerblading?" "No." "All you focused on were the seven seconds I was in a bathing suit playing volleyball." "I play volleyball in a bathing suit all the time." "Am I degrading myself?" "I didn't know about all them other parts." "Exactly." "Because you didn't ask." "All that mattered to you and Dad was your narrow-minded maleness." "You know, this job may not be my dream job but, regardless, it's my dream." "You and Dad have nothing to do with it." "You know what?" "I should just go and do it anyway." "Whoa, whoa, whoa." "Wait." "Wait a minute." "Now..." "Now, I realize you're excited and you're a little upset but Uncle Phil is a big man." "He's a very big man with a very short fuse." "Bad combination." "Very bad combination." "Goodbye." "Bad talk." "Very bad talk." "Here you go." "Nick, have I ever kept you from achieving your dreams?" "Not many." "I mean, you wouldn't call me narrow-minded, would you?" "You just don't get it, do you?" "I'm 5, you dork." "Yeah, you're right." "I should just be talking to Ashley." "Is she here?" "Nope." "She's at the commercial." " What?" " What?" "Whoa!" "Ha-ha-ha!" "Hey." "Well, Uncle Phil, man." "How long you been standing there?" "You know, you're a light stepper for a big fella." "What did you just say, Nicky?" "Ashley's at the commercial." "Oh, how could she do this, huh?" "In direct defiance of..." "The king of the jungle?" "We'll see about this." "What?" "Now, Uncle Phil, calm down, man." "All right?" "It ain't that serious." "Big man, short fuse." "Bad combination." " Well, she's not here, Uncle Phil." "Let's go." " We just got here." "Well, you know, Uncle Phil, as I look around you know, the level of nakedness isn't as high as I had previously assumed." "Will, you know, ever since we've left the house you seemed a little distracted." "You know, what ever happened to that:" "Woof, woof, woof." "Oh, heh." "Well, that's still there, man." "Woof, woof, woof." "You know, Uncle Phil, I don't even think that Ashley's here!" "Ashley." "Daddy, what are you doing here?" "What am I doing here?" "What are you doing here?" "You defied me." "Now, you go get your clothes and you come with me right now." " Daddy, I..." " I don't wanna hear it." "Coming down here and doing this commercial after I expressly forbade it." "I just quit the commercial." "Well..." "Uh..." "You should be ashamed of yourself." "Not trusting Ashley." "I knew she would never do it." "Mama knows, child." "Come here." "Shut up, Will." "Listen, I'm taking over." "I need to know where your wardrobe is." "Um, it's in the dressing room in the back." "Too bad your daddy won't let you do the commercial." "Better off leaving it to the big girls." "Whoo-hoo-hoo." "Whoo-hoo." "Little cat in you, huh, girl?" "Little leopard skirt on." "You know, let's just go." "Yep." "You better make it home before Saved by the Bell starts." "Excuse me, miss." "No one talks to my daughter that way." "So maybe you and your little horsehair weave should just mosey on before I get really upset." "Better some horsehair than some no hair." "Wait." "I don't think so." " Oh, no." "Ashley." "Ashley." "Ashley." " It ain't worth it." "It ain't worth it." "Sweetheart, you go to your dressing room and put on your costume." "Because I think Frank's gonna need some class to sell his drink." "Daddy, you're gonna let me do the commercial?" " It's up to you if you want to." " Oh, Daddy, thank you." "Ha-ha." "Oh." "And, by the way, your mother." "Mama." "It's "mama," Ashley." "Mama." "It's "your mama."" "Hey, Ashley, I gotta tell you." "I think this commercial thing is gonna be all right." "You know, all them new friends you made today." "How you got all their telephone numbers." "That was cool." "I'll give you $20 apiece for each of them." "Hey, except for that cat girl." "She had a beard." "Daddy, did you hear?" "Frank said I'm a shoo-in for the School of Performing Arts." "I'm as good as in New York." "I've said it before and I'll say it again." "No, no, no." "What happened to you being more open-minded?" "I am open-minded, sweetheart." "And any commercial you wanna shoot here in the greater Los Angeles area hey, I'm on board." "Will, what do you think?" "Hey, I have nothing but love and respect for the both of you." "Oh, Mom." "Come on." "Can you convince Dad it's all right for me to move to New York?" "Tell her she is too young to move anywhere." "I moved out of the horse when I was 17." "Horse?" "House." "Um..." "I gotta go do this thing with..." "Uh..." "Bye." "No, no." "Wait." "Mom, I gotta talk to you." " Hmm." "She's acting oddly." " Yeah." "Want me to get you some Pepto-Bismol, Uncle Phil?" " Wednesday Bingo, get up." " Get up off the couch." "Please." "Come on." " Get up, Wednesday Bingo." "Get up, please." " You can't stay here." " They were gonna kill him." " And we saved him." " We needed to find a farm." " We found one but..." " He doesn't wanna go." " And it's hard to move this kind of girth." "You can relate to that, Uncle Phil." " We can explain." " We can explain." " He did it." " He did it." "What?" "Hey."