"(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)" "(SQUEAKS) (GASPS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(GROANING)" "(SCREAMING)" "Brains!" "(GASPS)" "(GROANING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(STOPS SCREAMING)" "(RESUMES SCREAMING)" "(GROWLS) (CRUNCHING)" "(CHOMPING)" "GRANDMA:" "What's happening now?" "Well, the zombie is eating her head, Grandma." "That's not very nice." "What's he doing that for?" "(CHUCKLES)" "Because he's a zombie." "That's what they do." "He's going to ruin his dinner." "I'm sure if they just bothered to sit down and talk it through, it would be a different story." "PERRY:" "Norman, didn't I tell you to take out the garbage?" "Yeah, coming, Dad." "Tell him to turn up the thermostat, too, will you?" "My feet are like ice." "PERRY:" "Come on, fit, you stupid..." "Hi." "What are you watching in there?" "NORMAN:" "Sex and violence." "Oh, that's nice." "(GROANS) Can't you be like other kids your age, and pitch a tent in the yard or have a healthy interest in carpentry?" "Perry..." "I thought you said kids my age were too busy shoplifting and joyriding." "SANDRA:" "Norman." "He's, like, R-I-double-P-E-D." "Like, a seven-pack at least." "(GRUNTING) Uh-huh." "Ew!" "Watch it!" "SANDRA:" "Courtney, be nice." "Whoa!" "Yeah, she totally doesn't deserve him." "I mean, she's nice and I really like her, but she's a complete loser." "Yeah, I know." "Hey, uh, Dad?" "Grandma says, can you turn up the heating?" "Her feet are cold." "(POPS) (GASPS)" "(BULB SHATTERS) (PERRY GROANS)" "Now, Perry..." "How many times do we have to go through this, son?" "Your grandmother is dead!" "I know." "Then why do you keep on talking to her?" "Because she talks back." "OMG, you are such a liar." "God, I'm not making this up, I swear!" "She talks to me all the time." "Oh, yeah?" "Prove it." "She said, it's not very ladylike to hide photos of the high-school quarterback with his shirt off in your underwear drawer. (GASPS)" "I knew it!" "Uh!" "You've been sneaking around in my personal..." "Ugh!" "No, I haven't." "Grandma told me." "You are the worst!" "Norman, I know you and Grandma were very close, but we all have to move on." "Grandma's in a better place now." "No, she's not." "She's in the living room." "Your grandmother was old and sick and she died." "That's all there is to it!" "Okay." "Perry, this is just part of the mourning process." "Oh, stop indulging him." "I'm nothing if I'm not liberal, but that limp-wristed hippie garbage needs to be nipped in the bud." "This behavior might be okay with your side of the family, but I'm not putting up with it any more!" "Not me!" "Not this again." "This isn't the West Coast, Sandra." "People talk." "They do." "He's just sensitive, Perry." "Oh, please!" "Sensitive is writing poetry and being lousy at team sports." "Not this." "I won't have him turn out like that uncle of yours." "If that crazy old tramp has been around here, putting ideas in Norman's head..." "Perry, no one has had anything to do with Uncle Prenderghast in years." "I bet he doesn't even know what Norman looks like." "(PRENDERGHAST COUGHS)" "Not much time." "Not much time." "(WHEEZING)" "(GROANING)" "(COUGHING)" "(GULPS)" "(MUMBLING)" "(AUTOMATED GROWLING) (GASPS)" "(GROANS)" "(GROANING)" "(SCOFFS)" "Good morning!" "Hey, Bruce, how's it going?" "Not much." "I'm kind of late for school, I need to go." "Hi!" "Nice to see you guys." "Good morning." "Sorry, I got to run." "Oh!" "Excuse me." "Pardon me." "See ya!" "Hey there, little buddy." "Come on, come here. (CHUCKLES)" "Yeah, good to see you." "How you doing?" "Hi, Mrs. Hardman." "You look nice today." "I like what you've done with your hair." "Does anyone smell burning?" "Hey, peace, man." "Totally." "Yeah." "As you were, soldier." "Sir, yes, sir!" "Yo, Norman." "You playing hooky?" "No, no, I'm just late for school." "Sorry, I got to go." "How you doing?" "Hey, how you doing?" "Hi." "How's it hanging?" "(LAUGHS)" "Haven't heard that one before." "Well, it's a nice day." "(COUGHS)" "Watch and learn. "Parking violation" is my middle name." "DWAYNE:" "Really?" "I thought it was Rhona." "FEMALE TOURIST:" "Suck it in, sweetie." "No, no, your gut." "There you go." "(INDISTINCT TALKING)" "(BEEPS)" "(TALKING CEASES)" "(STUDENTS WHISPERING)" "(SCHOOL BELL RINGS)" "(TALKING RESUMES)" "(GRUNTS)" "(BOY LAUGHS)" "Hey, hey, ghost jerk, you know what?" "(SIGHS) What do you want, Alvin?" "Why don't you go see some more ghosts, Goober?" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "(GROANS) Ooh, ooh, oh." "Hey, hey, Norman." "(BUZZES)" "Talk to that." "(LAUGHS) That's so Alvin!" "Right?" "That was good, right, guys?" "That was fun?" "Flies don't talk." "Neil, come on, let's go." "(GROANS) You stink of illiteracy!" "Pilgrims!" "The Mayflower!" "Don't any of you know anything about the history of this town?" "(SIGHS DEEPLY)" "Puritans were strict and devout settlers, who came here to build a home, a place without sin!" "What is it now, Salma?" "Why is the witch always a hideous old crone with a pointy hat and a broomstick?" "I don't believe it's historically accurate, Miss Henscher." "It's not supposed to be!" "It's supposed to sell postcards and key chains." "So, let's try it again!" "Top of page six, Norman!" ""The founding fathers of Blithe Hollow discovered an evil witch amongst them..."" "No, no, Norman!" "With gusto!" "Like this." ""They put her on trial and hanged her!"" ""But the vengeful witch cursed her accusers, seven of them in all, to die a horrible and gruesome death, and rise from their graves as the living dead!"" ""Their souls!"" ""Their souls, doomed to an eternity of damnation!"" "Now, I want you to try that again, but with conviction." "My reputation is at stake, here." "And I won't have this turn out like that wretched Kabuki debacle of '09..." "Norman!" "Are you listening to me, boy?" "(ALL LAUGHING)" "Sorry, Mrs. Henscher." "So am I." "Now, unless there's any other issues, let us resume." ""They put her on trial and hanged her!"" "Ooh!" "This is my moment!" "(GAGS)" "(ALL EXCLAIM)" "(BULLIES LAUGHING)" "Boom, baby!" "Sorry." "Ah!" "You useless bunch of..." "(BELL RINGS)" "(INDISTINCT TALKING)" "(PANTING)" "Norman, wait up!" "I keep telling you, Neil." "I like to be alone." "So do I!" "Let's do it together." "You shouldn't let them get you down." "They always do stuff like that to me." "Why?" "Because I'm fat." "And my allergies make my eyes leak." "And I sweat when I walk too fast." "And I have a lunch box with a kitten on it." "Ooh." "And I have irritable bowel syndrome." "I guess there's a whole bunch of stuff." "Doesn't it bother you?" "No." "You can't stop bullying." "It's part of human nature." "If you were bigger and more stupid, you'd probably be a bully, too." "It's called "survival of the thickest."" "Psst!" "That statue just "psst" at us." "Do you know who I am?" "The weird, stinky old bum who lives up the hill?" "I was asking him!" "Yeah, uh, I know." "I was told not to talk to you." "Sorry." "And you know why you're not supposed to talk to me?" "I can see ghosts, too!" "And I know that's not all you've been seeing lately, is it?" "Bad omens?" "Things you can't quite explain." "Strange faces peering through the veil?" "And I'll bet no one told you about the witch's curse, did they?" "Actually, we're learning about it in school." "Oh, oh!" "I'm a tree!" "(GROANS)" "There's something you really need to know." "This is the most important thing you will ever hear." "The fate of everyone depends on it!" "Now, listen close." "The witch's curse is real!" "And you're the one who has to stop it." "(GASPS)" "You've got to use your gift" "(WHEEZING) of talking to the dead." "(WHEEZY COUGHING)" "Because, if you don't, the witch's..." "Oh, oh." "This is the most important thing of all!" "You've got to... (COUGHING)" "You've got..." "You've... (COUGHING)" "NEIL:" "Leave him alone!" "Don't make me throw this hummus." "It's spicy." "(EXCLAIMS FEARFULLY)" "This ain't done with!" "You'll see it soon enough." "Watch for the sign." "(LAUGHS WHEEZILY)" "Jeez, what a dirty old creep." "He's my uncle." "So, is it true?" "What?" "Can you see ghosts, like, everywhere, all the time?" "Uh, yeah." "Awesome!" "Ooh, ooh!" "Do you think you could see my dog Bub?" "He was ran over by an animal rescue van." "Tragic and ironic." "We buried him in the yard." "Could you see him?" "Maybe." "Sweet!" "Come on!" "MITCH:" "Neil?" "Is that you?" "Hey, Mitch." "We're going to go play with the dead dog in the garden, and we're not even going to have to dig him up first!" "(THUDS) (GRUNTS)" "You're digging what?" "What?" "What did you say?" "(WHISPERS) Neil, isn't he that weird kid?" "You know, "Look at me, I'm talking to ghosts so people will pay attention to me."" "Can you stop doing that?" "It's kind of stupid." "Now, listen to me." "You don't need to be hanging out with weird people." "Okay?" "That's atip." "Don't blow this for me, Mitch." "This one's not weird." "He talks to dead people!" "He's around here somewhere." "So, does everyone come back as a ghost?" "No." "My grandma told me it's usually people who still have stuff to figure out, or sometimes it's the ones who died suddenly or in a bad way." "(BARKING)" "NORMAN:" "Bub?" "(CHUCKLES)" "(GASPS) Is he there?" "How does he look?" "Uh, good." "He's happy to see you." "Who's a good boy, huh?" "Good boy!" "Can he feel if I pet him?" "Yeah, I guess." "(KISSING) Bubby-wubby-boo." "Uh, that's not his chin." "(WHISTLES)" "Go get it!" "He can't fetch it, you know." "Yeah." "Well, it's still fun." "Good boy!" "Bring it back!" "Go get it, Bub." "(KISSING) Good boy!" "(LAUGHS)" "Why don't you try?" "Because I don't really..." "You can go." "No." "No." "It's fun, try it." "No, I don't want to." "You throw it." "It's really easy." "No, it's okay." "You can throw it." "I don't mind." "No." "Come on." "It's really fun." "Here, you go first." "No, you try it." "I already went, like, 50 times." "Okay, what do I do?" "You get the stick, you pull back and you throw it." "(GRUNTS)" "(GASPS) Neil?" "Sorry!" "(MUFFLED) I fetched it." "(CHUCKLES)" "(BOTH LAUGHING)" "Are you okay?" "(GROWLS)" "I'll show him, and that scary little fat kid." "Doesn't he realize we're running out of..." "Ohh!" "(GASPS)" "(THUDS)" "(GASPING)" "(LAUGHING)" "No." "Not yet!" "(LAUGHING)" "Not yet!" "(GROANS)" "Whoa!" "(GROANING)" "Aw, nuts." "No, no, I don't want to go!" "I want to go home!" "I don't want to go!" "CHILDREN: (SINGING) Must be the season of the witch, yeah" "Great." "Now I'll never get to remember this moment." "Must be the season of the witch" "(APPLAUSE)" "MAN:" "You suck." "(SIGHS) I curse you accusers to die a horrible and gruesome death, and rise from your graves as the living dead!" "Your souls doomed to an eternity of damnation." "(ALVIN SCREAMS)" "(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)" "ALL: (CHANTING) Kill the witch!" "Kill the witch!" "Kill the witch!" "(GASPS) Gosh, aren't they adorable?" "(ALL CHANTING)" "(OWL HOOTING)" "(CONTINUES HOOTING)" "What?" "What?" "Oh, no." "Not again." "PURITAN 1:" "This way." "Over here." "PURITAN 2:" "Witch!" "We know you're out there." "(TWIG CRACKS) (GASPS)" "There!" "No!" "Witch." "(PANTING)" "(GASPS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(GROWLS)" "(DISTORTED) The dead are coming!" "(SCREAMS)" "(GASPS)" "Hey, buddy." "Are you okay?" "(SCREAMING)" "The dead are coming!" "(ALL GASP)" "Norman!" "(GROANS)" "Did he say the dead are coming?" "No!" "No, no, no, no." "Yes!" "The tree told me!" "(AUDIENCE MURMURING)" "PERRY:" "This is where it stops." "It's one thing being a mental case in front of your family, but not the whole freaking town!" "There is not going to be any more talking to ghosts, or grandmas, or what is it now?" "I think it's trees." "(GROANS)" "You are grounded." "Do you hear me?" "This is ridiculous." "I wish everyone could see what I see." "I didn't ask to be born this way." "Funny." "Neither did we." "(GROANS) Kids." "It never ends." "It never ends!" "You know, sometimes people say things that seem mean, but they do it because they're afraid." "He's my dad." "He shouldn't be afraid of me." "He's not afraid of you." "He's afraid for you." "BOY 1:" "Look!" "It's AbNorman." "(CHILDREN LAUGHING) GIRL:" "What did the tree tell you today, Norman?" "BOY 2:" "Are the dead coming soon, Norman?" "CHILDREN: (CHANTING) Norman is a loser!" "Norman is a loser!" "(WATER DRIPPING)" "(SIGHS)" "(RATTLING) (GASPS)" "(GASPING)" "(EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)" "Whoa!" "Huh?" "Whoa!" "Whoa!" "(NORMAN EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)" "Ugh!" "(SCREAMING)" "(GASPS)" "You..." "You died?" "Yeah, but I got unfinished business here." "Oh." "Couldn't you use another stall?" "My ghost isn't going anywhere, until I pass on my duty to another." "(LAUGHING)" "And that would be you." "Me?" "No, no, no, no." "You must have it wrong." "Ho hoo, it's you, all right." "I've been holding back the witch's curse for years." "But now I'm dead." "It has to be you." "But I..." "I don't know what any of it means." "It means the past is coming back to haunt you!" "Time is running out!" "The anniversary of the witch's death is tonight!" "Her ghost is going to wake up." "And when she does, she'll raise the dead." "(EXCLAIMS FEARFULLY)" "You've got to keep her in her grave!" "But I'm just a kid!" "How am I supposed to stop it?" "Read from the book at the spot the witch was buried." "What book?" "The one in my hands." "Not these hands!" "My other hands." "The "me" that's at home in my study starting to smell a little funny." "Get the book and read from it before the sun sets tonight." "(STAMMERS) But this is crazy." "Do I look crazy to you?" "Tell me you'll do this." "(STAMMERING)" "Swear!" "You mean like the "F" word?" "I mean, promise!" "Okay, okay." "I..." "I promise." "That will do." "No, Mr. Prenderghast, wait!" "Sorry, kid, I'm done here." "I'm free!" "I'm finally free!" "(LAUGHING)" "NORMAN:" "Wait." "No, you can't leave now!" "(LAUGHING)" "NORMAN:" "Please!" "I don't understand!" "Uh..." "Yeah, you, uh..." "You might want to give that a few minutes." "(FLUSHING)" "Norman?" "Hey, what's the big deal?" "Don't get your bra in a twist, fat boy." "This has nothing to do with you, so keep out of my way." "Or what?" "Or I'll punch you in the boobs." "I don't have boobs." "These are pectorals." "Ow, my boobs!" "You're dead, freak show!" "Do you hear me?" "D-E-D, dead!" "You're going to be so dead, that you're going to have to talk to yourself when you're dead!" "PERRY:" "I really don't think we should be leaving him." "Perry, you promised me a meal that someone else microwaved." "He's probably up there right now, fiddling with his Ouija, or his orbs, or whatever it is he's got up there!" "This is not good!" "(DOOR CLOSES)" "Uh!" "Ah!" "(GRUNTS) (TOY SQUEAKS)" "(SIGHS)" "(CELL PHONE RINGS) (GASPS)" "(BEEPS)" "(YELLS)" "Do you want to play some hockey?" "You know, I've kind of got other things on my mind right now." "Is it all that walking dead stuff again?" "Mr. Prenderghast appeared to me in the bathroom." "Ew." "No!" "His spirit." "He says the witch's curse is real, and I have to go up to the old graveyard and stop it before the sun sets tonight." "So, you want to come play a bit later?" "Didn't you hear what I just said?" "Yeah, but I thought my idea was the less likely to get us eaten." "Just go home, Neil." "I'm better off on my own, anyway." "But..." "Go home!" "Jeez." "Who rattled your chains?" "No one." "Hmm." "Dad says I'm not supposed to talk to you any more, Grandma." "Jackass." "If I were a poltergeist, I'd throw something at his head." "(GRUNTS)" "You know, by rights," "I'm supposed to be frolicking in paradise with your grandfather." "But I'm not." "So, why did you stay?" "I was never one for frolicking." "I'll bet there's no cable or canasta up there, either." "Besides, I promised I'd always look out for you." "So, it's your duty." "Uh, in a manner of speaking." "And you would do it, no matter what?" "Of course!" "Even if it was something really scary?" "There's nothing wrong with being scared, Norman, so long as you don't let it change who you are." "COURTNEY:" "So, I said to her, "Girl, come back and talk to me when your basket toss gets 12,000 hits on YouTube!"" "Yeah." "No, I said that." "Yeah, I'm stuck on lame patrol." "Tonight's going to be a total yawn." "(DOOR SLAMS) (GROANS LOUDLY)" "Norman!" "You better not be sneaking out, you little weirdo!" "(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)" "ALVIN:" "Whoa!" "(GRUNTS)" "(GROWLS)" "(BIRD SQUAWKING)" "(GULPS)" "Hello?" "Mr. Prenderghast?" "Ugh!" "(SQUEAKING) (GASPS)" "(FLOORBOARDS CREAKING)" "(CELL PHONE BEEPS)" "Oh, come on." "Darn it." "(GASPS)" "(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)" "(GRUNTING)" "(GRUNTING)" "Let go!" "Come on!" "(CHUCKLES)" "(CREAKING)" "(GRUNTS)" "Ah!" "(GRUNTING)" "(PANTING)" "(SHIVERS)" "(EXCLAIMING)" "This is it." "(GRUNTS)" "Read from the book, stop the curse, go home, and pretend this never happened." "(WIND WHISTLING)" "(CLEARS THROAT)" ""Once upon a time, in a far-off land, there lived a king and a queen in a magnificent castle."" "What?" "A fairy tale?" "Ooh, what have you got there, Geekula?" "No!" "Give it back!" "(LAUGHS)" "Oh, I can't wait to see everybody's faces when they hear about this one." "No, no." "Don't!" "Alvin!" "Hey." "Nobody makes me miss out on a possible date with a girl that almost had some interest in talking to me." "Yeah?" "Thought so!" "You got nothing to say." "Uh-oh." "Dang straight, "Uh-oh."" "That's what happens when Alvin gets around here." ""Uh-oh, is that Alvin?"" ""Uh-oh, Alvin's going to make me run home to Mommy."" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Uh-oh." "What is that?" "It's her." "(BOTH EXCLAIM FEARFULLY)" "(SHRILL SCREECH) (GASPS)" "(THUDDING) What's that sound?" "(BOTH YELL)" "(BOTH EXCLAIM FEARFULLY)" "(GROWLING)" "(YELLS)" "(GROANING)" "(GROANING)" "(BOTH GROANING)" "(MOANING)" "(ZOMBIES GROANING AND MOANING)" "(BLABBERING) (THUDDING)" "(ROARS)" "Ah!" ""Once upon a time, in a far-off..."" ""Once upon a time, in a..."" "Make it stop, please, now please!" "(STAMMERING) It's not working!" "(GROWLING)" "Stop!" "Stop?" "You must stop!" "What?" "Norman?" "What are you doing?" "I think I peed my pants!" "Wait!" "(CHOMPING)" "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "MITCH:" "Neil!" "Will you get the door?" "I'm busy." "Are you freeze-framing Mom's aerobics DVD again?" "No!" "(DOORBELL RINGS)" "Neil!" "Would it kill you to get off your butt and answer the door?" "(MOCKING) God." "Oh, I'm going to kill them!" "I know you're in there!" "Slumber party is over, dorks!" "Um, can I help you?" "Hell, yeah. (CHUCKLES) Hmm." "Oh, I..." "Sorry to bug you so late." "Um, does, uh..." "Neil live here?" "Yeah." "He's my brother." "Oh, wow!" "That's great!" "Your brother and my brother are, like, best friends!" "I'm Courtney." "Hey, Neil!" "Come here a minute." "There's a girl asking for you." "COURTNEY:" "Hey, there!" "How are you doing, little guy?" "Neil?" "Yeah, Neil." "Do you know where Norman is?" "He kind of disappeared." "Oh, no." "Idea!" "I have no idea where he is." "Sorry." "Bye!" "MITCH:" "Whoa, Neil." "Better start talking, buddy." "I didn't really think he was serious about going up to the old graveyard on his own." "That's so Norman!" "Oh, man, that place is bad news." "It's like a total slasher-movie vibe." "Why did he go up there?" "I don't know." "Maybe we should go look for him." "I told you he was trouble." "Sorry, but I did." "No, it's fine." "He sucks." "But I got to make sure he doesn't, you know, die or anything tonight." "Will you help me?" "Please?" "Okay." "I guess I should go get some clothes on." "Mmm!" "Uh, is Norman in trouble?" "(SCREAMS)" "(GASPS)" "Are they going to try to eat our brains?" "I think you'll be safe." "Oh, thank God!" "I don't get it." "Why didn't it work?" "The Story of Sleeping Beauty?" "This doesn't make any sense!" "Wait!" "Where are you going?" "Mr. Prenderghast, I don't understand." "Just tell me what to do!" "Dude, what are you doing?" "He told me to read from the book to stop the curse!" "I thought it was like a spell or something, but..." "Come on." "There has to be something." "I really need to get home because I've got a seriously early curfew." "Okay, seven victims." "My mom gets really upset..." "Seven victims." "(POUNDING) (GASPS) Oh, no." "Okay, got to defend ourselves." "We got to shoot them in the head with, like, some sort of silver stake or something." "Seven victims." "I'm way too awesome to get eaten." "Seven graves." "Norman, are you listening to me?" "You really got to do something!" "The witch's grave!" "It wasn't there!" "I was reading the book in the wrong place!" "Hide!" "What?" "(ALL GROANING)" "(WHIMPERS)" "(MOANING)" "(GROWLING)" "ZOMBIE:" "Huh?" "(ALVIN SCREAMING)" "(GASPS)" "(GASPS)" "(GROWLS)" "(SCREAMS)" "(PANTS)" "(GRUNTS) Come on!" "COURTNEY:" "And she said, "I could totally consider a career in formation swimming."" "But I was like, "I want to do something that helps people less fortunate than me, thank you very much."" "You know?" "Like, um..." "Like the poor." "Or people who are dying, or ugly or something." "Because I really think that ecology and world peace are, like, totally important today." "Do you use free weights?" "Because your deltoids are huge!" "I've never used deltoids in my life, I swear." "You can test me." "Kill me now." "Thank you for doing this, Mitch." "He means an awful lot to me, you know?" "I love him like he was a brother." "NEIL:" "He is your brother." "(THUNDER CRASHING)" "Whoa!" "Look at that sky!" "Look out!" "Oh, no!" "(TIRES SCREECHING)" "That was Norman!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "MITCH:" "Is everyone okay?" "No." "No." "Uh, hello, sir?" "COURTNEY:" "Is he dead or what?" "I don't know." "He's not moving." "(LOW GROWL)" "He's still breathing!" "COURTNEY:" "So, he's okay?" "Uh..." "Not exactly." "COURTNEY:" "What?" "What did you just say?" "Does anyone know CPR or..." "Run!" "(GROWLS)" "(SCREAMS)" "Did you see that?" "That was insane." "I know, right?" "I kicked that, like, a hundred yards!" "Norman, what just happened?" "Zombies!" "I swear, okay?" "We saw them burst out of their graves for real!" "Just so you know, I totally saved his life, and I could totally save yours." "COURTNEY:" "Sorry, who are you?" "I'm Alvin." "Guys?" "Maybe we should actually drive away now." "Oh, right. (SCREAMING)" "(COUGHING)" "(MOANS)" "(EXCLAIMING FEARFULLY)" "(ALL GROANING)" "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Pesky kids with their cell phones, burning up the ozone." "That's what this is." "What the... (GROWLS)" "Ugh!" "I just knew something like this was going to happen tonight." "You did?" "Wow." "Because that zombie bit really threw me." "Why do you have to go and get everyone involved in all your weird stuff?" "Well, you weren't supposed to follow me, were you?" "Sorry, my fault." "When I'm nervous, I get mouth diarrhea." "(LAUGHS) Whoa!" "Diarrhea!" "Oh, my gosh!" "I think I'm having an aneurysm." "Oh, this is so typical of you!" "No." "You don't understand." "I'm the only one who can stop this, Courtney!" "Oh, I understand." "I understand that this is all getting completely out of..." "Hand!" "Ah!" "(GROWLING)" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "What do we do?" "What do we do?" "Mitch!" "I don't know!" "I don't know!" "You're the oldest." "Not mentally!" "Oh, great, the cops." "(SIREN WAILING)" "Pull over the vehicle!" "Norman!" "How do we stop them?" "I'm supposed to read from the book at the witch's grave." "We've got to go back to the graveyard?" "She wasn't buried with the others." "I don't know where else to look!" "Well, you better think of something, quick!" "Oh, I have an idea!" "SALMA:" "So, Norman, let me get this straight." "You guys all go on this big supernatural adventure, and you're calling me in the middle of the night because you need someone to help you do your homework?" "Uh, yeah." "We need to find out where the witch is buried!" "(SCREAMS) Oh, no!" "I went to the old graveyard, but her grave wasn't there." "Well, duh." "People found guilty of witchcraft weren't considered people any more." "Norman, your witch was buried someplace else." "In an unmarked grave." "Mitch, do something!" "(SCREAMS)" "If you cared to pay attention some of the time, you would know that we covered this in fifth-grade history class." "Salma!" "Please hurry!" "Oh, no!" "(BOTH SCREAMING)" "NORMAN:" "I would Google this myself if there wasn't a 300-year-old dead guy trying to rip my face off." "(SIGHS) Okay, okay." "It says here she was tried in the old town hall on Main Street." "There may be a record of her execution and burial in the archives." "Quick!" "She said, "Go to the town hall!"" "(HUMMING)" "(GASPS)" "(SCREAMING)" "Oh, my goodness!" "SANDRA:" "I really think it might help if you tried to see things from his point of view." "PERRY:" "I don't want to." "Perry, not believing in the afterlife is like not believing in astrology." "I have no idea what you're talking about." "Seriously." "Where did you learn that?" "Calm down." "(SCREAMS)" "Delinquent drivers!" "Where are the police when you need them?" "(GRUNTS)" "(GROANING)" "(GROWLS)" "(ALL SCREAM)" "(GIGGLING)" "(ALL SCREAM) (GRUNTS)" "MITCH:" "Oh, my gosh." "COURTNEY:" "I broke a nail." "MITCH:" "I'm going to be sick." "Yeah!" "Alvin the zombie slayer!" "I got you!" "Ow!" "Ow!" "Ooh!" "(ALVIN SOBS)" "Baby, I'm so sorry." "You'll be all right." "We're going to get through this together." "(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)" "Uh-oh." "(THUNDER RUMBLING)" "Come on!" "Oh, yeah!" "(HUMMING INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC)" "Perfect." "Now the geeks are in charge." "(HUMMING)" "(COIN CLINKING)" "(BEEPING)" "(WHIRRING)" "(ZOMBIE GROANING)" "(GASPS)" "(ALL GROANING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(CONTINUES SCREAMING)" "(GROANING EXCITEDLY)" "(ALL GASPING)" "(SCREAMING)" "(CHUCKLING) Booyah!" "(KISSES) (EXPLOSION)" "(CACKLING)" "(SCREAMING)" "See?" "I told you!" "Zombies!" "It's the witch's curse!" "Mama?" "What?" "What should we do?" "(ALL GROANING)" "Kill 'em in the head!" "Yeah!" "Hurry!" "This way!" "(SCREAMING)" "COURTNEY:" "Oh, this is awful!" "The zombies are, like, eating everyone!" "Come on!" "(ALL PANTING)" "Is everyone all right?" "Nobody got bitten?" "I bit my tongue." "Does that count?" "(RATTLES)" "Does anyone know how to pick a lock?" "Sure." "Picking locks is my thing." "(LOCK CLICKS)" "Boom." "This is it!" "This is?" "Now we can find out where the witch was buried." "Uh-oh." "Whoa." "Great." "I'm super-psyched." "This is turning into the most fun night ever!" "Man!" "Zombies take over the world and we lock ourselves in a library!" "Are you kidding me?" "There's an adult video store just across the street." "This will be a piece of cake, you'll see." "Page one." "Okay, page one." "MITCH:" "I really hate these places." "(GRUNTS)" "Come on." "Feel it, push yourself." "That's not it." "Time is running out." "Ain't room for no more zombies in this town!" "Yeah!" "Huh?" "(ALL CLAMORING)" "(GRUNTING)" "(GUNSHOT) Oh!" "Ya-ha-hoo!" "(MUMBLING)" "(EXCLAIMS JOYFULLY)" "It would have been a quiet night, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids." "Hmm!" "Sweet baby jinkies!" "What do you think you're doing, firing at civilians?" "That is for the police to do!" "Oh, no, no, no, it's okay, Sheriff." "We've only been shooting at the dead ones." "It's the living dead, come to take us all to hell!" "We've got to stop them before they get away!" "(ALL GROANING)" "(MUMBLING)" "(ALL GASP)" "(GRUMBLES)" "Move along now, people!" "There isn't anything to see here!" "I saw them!" "I saw them!" "They're in the town hall!" "Cry "Havoc," and let slip the dogs of war!" "Let's rip 'em apart!" "(ALL CHEERING)" "We're not going to find it in here, Norman." "This is useless!" "Yeah, I know, and it's also really boring." "I thought I was driving the van." "No one told me I was going to have to do this other dumb stuff." "(SIGHS) If I had known there was so much reading involved," "I would have brought a completely different group of people who hate me." "Yes!" "Book number one, finished!" "That is right." "Twenty-six pages." "Oh, yeah!" "(ALL GROAN)" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "I can't believe this is your plan." "I'm going to get bitten and start eating people's brains." "I'm supposed to be vegan!" "There's something moving out there." "I think it's the zombies." "Hide!" "Oh, no, it's not." "It's just grown-ups." "Hide!" "(GLASS SHATTERS)" "That sound." "Do you know what that is?" "That's not awesome things." "Guys, come on!" "Just give it up, you wiener." "No, we have to keep trying." "Uh!" "We tried, and look what happened." "I'm scared, Norman, and I can't listen to this any more." "You never listen." "No one ever listens!" "I'm scared, too, but I've still got to do this." "I do too listen!" "And whatever it was you just said, it's not working." "You think you're going to go out there, do your "talking to the dead" thing, and this is all going to be okay?" "What are you going to do?" "Huh?" "Ask the zombies not to eat you?" "I should have known you wouldn't understand." "No one ever does!" "Norman, you need to stop all this weird stuff, and start living in the real world." "Everyone in the real world thinks I'm a freak!" "And you know what?" "Maybe they're right." "Maybe I am a freak." "But I never asked for your help!" "Just go!" "Get out!" "Jeez, that was dramatic." "Ugh!" "Come on!" "I'm not going anywhere." "You can't make me." "Oh!" "Dude, you're really heavy." "NEIL:" "I'm not speaking to you." "You can't make me." "Um, excuse me!" "Hello?" "(SCREAMS)" "They're in there, all right." "I can feel its clammy flesh!" "Hello?" "(GROANING)" "(GASPS)" "Help!" "Somebody, help me!" "Let's burn them out!" "We're all going to die!" "(GROWLING)" "Oh, my gosh." "Do you think this has got anything to do with Norman?" "Of course not." "Everyone, look!" "Perry, do something!" "Norman!" "Get down from there this instant!" "You're supposed to be grounded!" "You horrible old witch!" "Is this what you want?" "Necromancer!" "This is all his doing!" "Norman!" ""Once upon a time, in a far-off land, there lived a king and a queen in a magnificent castle."" "(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)" "Why won't you listen to me?" "Why are you doing this?" "(SCREAMING)" "Agatha Prenderghast of His Majesty's province of Massachusetts, on this day you have been arraigned for the horrible crime of witchcraft witnessed by those whose testimonies have been heard." "You have, by this court, been found guilty!" "No!" "And it is passed on you, according to your grievous crimes, execution!" "(AGGIE SOBBING)" "No!" "No!" "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" "I was only playing." "Aye!" "With fire!" "You were speaking with the dead!" "Wait!" "No!" "I'll not risk damnation on these good people." "No, you can't do this!" "I didn't do anything wrong!" "You are to be taken to the place of execution where you will be hanged by the neck until you be dead." "Stop!" "Leave me alone or I'll make you sorry!" "I'll make all of you sorry!" "(GASPS)" "How could you?" "She was just a little kid." "She was no different than me." "Keep away from me!" "You must stop the curse." "What?" "You don't want to kill me?" "You can speak to the dead." "To us." "To her." "We need you to read from the book to send us all back to the grave." "But it didn't work!" "It's a fairytale!" "Just a bedtime story." "That's it, isn't it?" "A bedtime story, to keep a little girl asleep for another year." "And now you need my help because" "I'm the only one who can read it to her." "Here's your book!" "Try reading it yourself." "Why did you do it?" "We were scared." "Of what?" "Of her." "I believed we were doing what was right." "I was wrong." "Now, this is our punishment." "We thought we knew our way in life, but in death, we are lost." "Please help us." "Every year, someone reads the story at her grave." "Before me, it was Mr. Prenderghast, and before him, there were others, but the curse doesn't ever go away." "Nothing gets better." "It's not enough." "What will you do?" "Something nobody ever did before." "I've got to go talk to her." "(MALICIOUS LAUGHTER)" "(ALL YELLING)" "(ALL GASP)" "Guys, guys!" "Under here, under here!" "Mitch, Mitch, if we die tonight, this may be the last chance I get to tell you how I feel." "Uh, well, no, unless we get brought back as zombies, and then, technically, you'll have longer." "Norman?" "Come on!" "This way!" "You've got to be kidding me." "(ALL GASP)" "(ZOMBIES GROANING)" "You stay right where you are!" "You may be dead already, but I will still shoot you!" "Wait!" "(GASPS) Oh, my gosh." "Son!" "Step away from the zombies!" "No, I won't." "Perry, calm down!" "You're going to have a heart attack, and then what are you going to do?" "I'll come back and haunt Norman!" "Maybe then he'll start listening to me." "No!" "No, you don't understand what's happening here." "I spoke to them, and it's not what you think." "The curse isn't about the zombies hurting you, it's about you hurting them." "I figured it out, and I know a way to stop this." "He's in league with them!" "Let's hang him!" "We can't hang him, stupid!" "It's the 21st century!" "Then let's burn him!" "Can you stop being a mob for just one minute?" "Listen to me!" "Get them before they eat us!" "(ALL SHOUTING)" "Leave him alone!" "(ALL GASP)" "(GASPS) Hand, Alvin." "My hand." "Everybody, listen up!" "You all need to stop trying to kill my brother!" "You're adults!" "You stop it!" "I know that this seems crazy." "Believe me, lam with you on that." "But I think he does actually know what he's talking about." "All night, he's been trying to save you from the witch's curse." "Yeah!" "Yeah!" "And all you want to do is burn and murder stuff, burn and murder stuff." "Just burning and murdering." "Yeah, shame on every single one of you!" "How dare you all?" "So, they're not going to hurt us?" "No." "Does it look like any of them are trying to hurt you?" "They're just people." "Well, at least they used to be." "Just stupid people who should have known better." "They did something unforgivable because they were scared, and they were cursed for it." "Now it's happening all over again." "Don't you get it?" "They were just like you." "But now it has to stop." "For good." "(SCREAMING SHRILLY)" "(ALL SCREAMING)" "Jeez, what is her problem?" "Oh, Norman!" "So, what do we do now?" "(STAMMERING) I really don't know." "COURTNEY:" "Yes, you do, Norman." "You've got to get to that witch's grave." "But..." "But nothing!" "Listen to me, buster." "We didn't turn away when Daleridge High was slaughtering our volleyball team, did we?" "I thought we did." "No, we didn't." "I have cheered the uncheerable, Norman, and I'm not letting you give up now!" "Dad, could I borrow the car?" "Excuse me?" "FEMALE REPORTER:" "Officials are urging people to panic and run... (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)" "(SNIFFS)" "(PEOPLE CLAMORING)" "(HORNS BLARING)" "Whoo, boy." "The traffic tonight, huh?" "Norman!" "Uh!" "He's on my side of the seat." "She wants you to move over." "(MUMBLING)" "Um, I heard that!" "Mom, tell the zombie to stop saying stuff about me." "Can you quit using the "Z" word?" "(MIMICKING)" "PERRY:" "So help me, I will stop this car right now if all three of you don't quit it this instant!" "(MUMBLING)" "NORMAN:" "He says, take a left here." "PERRY:" "We've already been this way!" "We're going around in circles!" "SANDRA:" "Maybe we should pull over and ask someone." "Oh, right!" "You think maybe we should stop at a graveyard and dig up some other 18th-century corpses?" "It's not a bad idea." "I wish I understood you." "(MUMBLES)" "(GROANS)" "Please don't tell me he needs to use the bathroom." "Turn down there!" "SANDRA:" "Oh, my." "Do you think that's it?" "PERRY:" "So, why are we here?" "Someone has got to talk to her, Dad." "Yeah." "Why is that person you, exactly?" "(GASPS)" "Oh, my goodness." "Look out!" "Mom!" "(SCREAMS)" "Perry!" "Do something!" "I am trying!" "Kick it in the knothole!" "Norman?" "I'm okay, Mom!" "Just wait for me here." "Don't worry." "Be careful!" "(GASPS)" "Uh..." "Hello?" "AGGIE:" "You're not welcome here." "Go away." "I really need to speak with you." "Who are you?" "I'm Norman." "Norman Babcock." "You don't actually know me, but I know you." "We're actually kind of the same, you and I." "You're not dead." "Well, no, apart from that." "And you're a boy." "Well, yes." "That, too." "You're not like me at all!" "Well, I know how you feel." "No, you don't." "You don't know anything about me." "I know your name is Agatha Prenderghast." "What?" "And I know you're probably tired, right?" "Because, I mean, it's really late, and it's been a long night, and we're, like, only 11 years old, and..." "I don't want to go to sleep, and you can't make me." "(SCREAMING)" "(GRUNTING)" "I burned the book into dust." "Now I don't have to listen to that stupid story any more!" "Leave me alone." "No." "No, I'm not leaving." "Just listen to me." "Once upon a time, long ago, there was a little girl." "What?" "A little girl who was different..." "Who was different from the other people in her village." "I'm not listening!" "She could see and do things that no one could understand, and that made them scared of her." "I don't like this story!" "She turned away from everyone, and became sad and lonely, and had no one to turn to!" "Stop it!" "But the more she turned away from people, the more scared they were of her, and they did something terrible!" "They became so scared that they took her away and they killed her!" "No!" "But even though she was dead, something in her came back." "Stop!" "And this part of her, it wouldn't go away." "Not for 300 years!" "Shut up!" "And the longer it stayed, the less there was of the little girl." "(SHRIEKING)" "I'll make you suffer!" "Why?" "Because..." "Because..." "Because you want everyone to hurt just as much as you are." "So, whenever you wake up, you play this mean game, but you don't play fair!" "They hurt me." "So, you hurt them back?" "I wanted everyone to see how rotten they were." "You're just like them, Agatha." "No, I'm not!" "You're a bully!" "No, I'm not!" "Ahh!" "They did something awful, but that doesn't mean you should, too." "All that's left in you now is mean and horrible!" "That's not true!" "Then stop!" "This is wrong and you know it!" "You spent so long remembering the bad people that you've forgotten the good ones." "There must have been somebody who loved you and cared for you." "You don't remember them?" "Leave me alone!" "But you're not alone!" "You have to remember!" "Keep away from me!" "Remember!" "Aggie." "My name was Aggie." "I remember, my mommy brought me here once." "We sat under the tree and she told me stories." "They all had happy endings." "And then those horrible men came and took me away, and I never saw her again!" "(GASPS)" "(SOBS)" "Sometimes when people get scared, they say and do terrible things." "I think you got so scared that you forgot who you are." "But I don't think you're a witch." "Not really." "You don't?" "I think you're just a little kid with a really special gift who only ever wanted people to understand her." "So, we're not all that different at all." "But what about the people who hurt you?" "Don't you ever want to make them suffer?" "Well, yeah, but what good would that do?" "You think just because there's bad people out there, that there's no good ones either?" "I thought the same thing for a while, but there's always someone out there for you, somewhere." "I just want my mommy." "I'm sorry, Aggie." "She's gone." "That story you were telling, how does it end?" "I think that's up to you." "Is this where they buried me?" "It's a pretty good place to sleep." "Then you can be with your mom again." "(SIGHS)" "Sleep tight." "Norman?" "Norman!" "My brave little man!" "I thought I was going to lose you." "(KISSING)" "Mom!" "You're embarrassing me." "That's my job." "COURTNEY:" "Psst." "Good job, Norman." "Well done, son." "You did it." "So, are we going to need statements?" "No!" "Ow!" "That was my fingernail." "You know what it's like." "You join a mob and you say things. (CHUCKLES)" "I was merely inhabiting the role." "Yeah, it was the others." "They pushed me into it." "Yeah, me and Norman are in a lot of the same classes." "We're pretty much inseparable best buds, and we do a lot of psychic investigations together." "We have a blog, actually." "You should check it out." "So, I was thinking maybe we could catch a movie sometime." "Nothing scary." "That sounds great, Kathy." "You know, you're going to love my boyfriend." "He's, like, a total chick-flick nut!" "Hey, Neil." "You did it!" "You stopped the witch's curse, and made the zombies go away and saved pretty much everything!" "I guess." "I just wanted to say thanks." "You stood by me, all the time." "Yeah, of course!" "Don't get weird or anything." "So, do you think now everything is going to turn back to normal?" "Well, as normal as it could be." "(SCREAMS) Oh!" "Stop it!" "MALE NEWS REPORTER: ...whose lives have been ruined by last night's mystery tornado." "But first, here's Mindy Rinager, with a kitten on roller skates." "Son." "Hi, Dad." "What are you watching?" "A scary movie." "Oh, yeah." "Um..." "Your grandma here, is she?" "Right." "Of course she is." "Is she, uh..." "Is she, uh, sitting next to me?" "Hi, Mom." "BOTH:" "So, what's happening now?" "(CHUCKLES)" "(ENGLISH US" " PSDH)"