"¶ One fine day with a woof and purr ¶" "¶ a baby was born and it caused a little stir ¶" "¶ no blue bug and no three-eyed frog ¶" "¶ just a feline, canine, little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ out on the road or back in town ¶" "¶ all kind of critters putting catdog down ¶" "¶ got to rise above it, got to try to get along ¶" "¶ got to walk together, got to sing this song ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog. ¶ [captioning sponsored by nickelodeon]" "You think we can meet pretty girls, cat?" "Hey, stick with me, dog, and I'll learn you all the tricks of the trade." "Step number one is you've got to be cool at all times." "Wha?" "Wa-wa-wa whoo!" "Wa-wa!" "Wa-ahh!" "Water, I'm in water!" "Save me, save me, save me, save me, save me!" "Cat, cat, I'm falling." "( Crashing )" "Water gets me in so much..." "Hot water!" "Hey, cat!" "How about that bathing beauty over there?" "( Wolf whistles )" "Oh, if you set your sights low enough you're bound to score." "But, over there..." "Me-ow!" "Act cool, and, uh let me do all the talking." "Uh, ooh, okay, cat." "Well, hello, ladies." "You seem to be in need of some companionship." "Mind if a couple of mellow hunks join you on your beach blanket?" "Actually, we're just about to play ball." "Want to join us?" "Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba!" "( Laughs )" "Ba-ba-ba-ball." "Dog!" "Dog, no!" "( Screams )" "Dog:" "Ball, ball, ba-ba-ball!" "Cat:" "No!" "What the...?" "Both:" "Whoo, whoo!" "( Bugs buzzing )" "What's all this horse-swangling nonsense?" "Hey, I'm talking to you, mutt-butt you circus freak." "Snot-nosed frat-case." "Some people come to the beach to relax and take it easy." "Shot pot!" "Two-for-one special." "( Cheering )" "Can't a guy come here to get a tan?" "You young punks taking over the beaches." "It used to be a nice, peaceful place." "Hmm..." "Well, well, well let's just see what the problem is." "Oops, wrong channel." "( Buzzing )" "Fleas( Shouting ):" "Salutations!" "Rabbit:" "Yup, you got fleas." "Fleas?" "Rabbit:" "'Fraid so." "But i can't have fleas." "You got 'em." "No, no, no." "No one in my family has ever had fleas." "Sorry." "This is your fault!" "Um... um... um." "Why did you have to go near that beach rat?" "don't worry, cat, the doc will fix us right up." "How about it, doc?" "The best cure for your condition is..." "The flea dip." "A soothing, medicinal bath." "See, i told you." "That bath will fix us right up." "What bath?" "What?" "Like with moisture and water?" "Fleas no more." "Cat:" "No, no, wait!" "I am not going in that... bath." "Doc, aren't there any other options?" "Mm-hmm." "( Squeaking )" "Rabbit:" "What do i got here?" "Let's see." "Aha!" "The shrinker and parkmeyer corrective flea belt." "Ooh, definitely a fashion crime." "Do you have anything in seersucker?" "Listen, cat, it's either the bath, the belt or the exit." "Take your pick." "Mmm, oh, give me the belt!" "I don't care what that doctor said." "I think this new belt is, uh..." "Snazzy." "Oh, um, hello." "New belt?" "Oh, why, yes, it is." "It's funny-looking." "As if i asked your opinion." "I don't think it's funny at all." "( All giggling )" "I don't think it's funny, either, cat." "( All laughing loud and hard )" "Here come your friends from the beach." "They just can't resist my animal magnetism." "Doggy, old boy, watch the master close the deal." "Ladies, fancy meeting you here." "Oh, who dressed you?" "Beach cat 2:" "What are you wearing?" "Your grandma's girdle?" "Beach cat 1:" "U-g-l-y." "( Laughs )" "TV announcer:" "Fashion experts around the country agree belts are out this season." "Frenchman:" "As you see, none of our models are wearing belts." "Only a total loser would wear a belt this season." "You had to go near that beach rat." "( Door slams )" "Hi, winslow." "Hiya, catdog." "What's happening, pal?" "Hey, well, you know... whoa!" "Jumping jibber." "Are you guys wearing a flea belt?" "That's the most repulsive thing I've ever seen." "Belts are out, man." "They're squaresville." "Nobody wears belts any more, nobody." "Well, it's not my belt." "Am i seeing things?" "It's on you, you're wearing it." "No, no, no, it's not my belt." "It's, it's dog's belt." "Here, just so there's no mistake." "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that belt." "But what about your fleas?" "Fleas, fleas?" "No one in my family's ever had fleas, remember?" "I haven't scratched in hours." "Good thinking, cat." "Well, good luck." "( Snoring )" "( Buzzing )" "( Shouting, laughing )" "( Snoring )" "( Buzzing )" "Okay." "I'm fine, I'm good, yeah." "I don't need that belt." "I'm much too chic to wear that belt, really." "I mean, i could steal it from dog but i wouldn't be caught dead wearing it." "I'm fashionable." "Yeah, in fact, i look good." "( Fleas singing conga line tune )" "I'm no fool, 'cause, i feel fine." "Fleas, fleas everywhere!" "I never imagined things could get this bad, did you, dog?" "Dog?" "Hiya." "( Yowling )" "( Laughing demonically... ) ( Birds chirping )" "( Snores )" "( Yawning )" "Morning, cat." "Cat, are you okay?" "Dog, help me." "I need the flea belt." "I don't care how i look." "Oh, cool." "Please!" "Yeah, sure, cat." "Here you go." "Oh, thank you, dog, thank you." "Sure, cat." "Anything i..." "Flea:" "Dogward, ho!" "Hey!" "Give me that belt." "Back to the cat." "Dog or bust!" "Get your paws off that, dog." "It's mine, i want it." "Dog:" "Give me that, i must have that belt." "Whee!" "Oh, great." "Cat:" "The belt is mine, you beach-rat lover." "I need it, i need it." "These fleas are killing me!" "( Arguing )" "Just take your beach-rat- loving off my belt." "It's my belt." "Please." "I need it." "don't take that belt away from me." "To the dog!" "To the cat!" "Cat, this is stupid." "You take the belt." "At least one of us should be happy." "Thank you, dog." "And you're right, it should be me." "I'm glad you came to our senses." "To the dog!" "( Flea plays cavalry charge )" "( Cheering )" "Dog, dog!" "Can you hear me?" "( Fleas cheering )" "I'm okay." "Dog!" "Hold on, dog, I'll save you." "I'm coming, doggy." "Dog, dog." "Here, here, here, take the, take the belt." "There you go." "You're okay now, right?" "R-right, uh, uh..." "Mother." "Okay, we're all better now." "Dog!" "Oh, these fleas are totally out of control." "Even the belt can't help us now." "And it's all my fault." "My vanity has destroyed my good pal, dog." "I've got to save him!" "Now hold still." "Aah!" "( Knocking on door )" "I'm with a patient." "I'm coming." "Cool your jets." "Who is it?" "( Gasps )" "Leaping lumbago." "Help me... please." "Bath.... need... bath." "Slowly, slowly, slowly... ( Fleas wailing )" "Animal!" "Animal!" "( Splutters )" "See, cat, it wasn't so bad." "Now we're flea-free." "( Gasps )" "Well..." "At least i don't have to wear that tacky belt any more." "( Sighs )" "You just stick with me, dog." "I'm a cat that knows style." "What is going on here?" "Everybody's wearing those ugly belts!" "No belt?" "Um, how could..." "Well, no, we..." "It's funny." "Has everyone gone nuts?" "Cat 2:" "Hello, catdog." "Where's your belt?" "Hello, fellows." "Nice to see your flea problem is under control." "Oh, uh, by the way..." "You'd better get hip and get a belt." "Oh, come on." "( Fleas cheering, laughing )" "Cat, are you sure this is how you meet girls?" "Just shoot me." "( Bouncy jingle playing... )" "New, from the makers of pickled bananas and chicken ripple ice cream comes choco kraut the delicious chocolate Sauerkraut squeeze drink." "Hi, I'm Barry the baboon." "And I'm ape for choco kraut." "And that ain't no monkey business." "Choco kraut." "Now in handy six-pack and industrial size." "I love Barry the baboon." "He gives me goose bumps." "Yeah!" "Boy, that baboon's got it all, doesn't he?" "Chiseled good looks animal magnetism and a sweet gig." "Us?" "We're broke." "( Stomach growling )" "Cat, I'm hungry." "I know." "We need a job." "What's that?" "Cat:" "A newspaper." "We've been through this." "Dog:" ""Cats wanted for cat food tasting." ""Cash and free food." "( Sadly ):" "Cats only."" "Pay dirt, dog!" "¶ La, la, la, la ¶" "( humming )" "Shh!" "Remember, dog this gig is for cats only." "So stay out of sight and keep quiet!" "Roger." "( Resumes humming )" "Dog!" "¶ La, la, la ¶" "¶ doo, doo, doo, doo, doo... ¶ welcome, miserable participants." "All cats will be paid upon completion of the survey." "Whatever you do, don't disappoint me." "( Hisses quietly )" "( With foreign accent ):" "Eh... excuse me." "Eh, excuse me." "Uh, wh-what's going on?" "Hey!" "Hey, what are you doing?" "!" "What did i do?" "I just wanted to ask a question!" "Wait!" "Help me, i just got declawed and now I'm getting deported!" "Please eat the food in the order it is served to you." "Prepare for meal number one, "sea captain's dinner."" "( Whirring )" "( Rumbling )" "( Splat )" "You may begin eating." "Meal number two, "i can't believe it's ankles."" "Meal number three, "flamingo feast."" "( Squeaking )" "( Whispering ):" "Cat, hey, cat." "Get some more, um" ""i can't believe it's ankles."" "( Groans under breath )" "Yeah." "How about some "flamingo feast"?" "( Muffled groaning, whimpering )" "( Microphone feedback )" "Excuse me, could we get some more of, um..." "Everything for table 52, please?" "( Splat )" "( Slobbering )" "What's the ruckus?" "Wha, wha, what?" "Is that a canine at station 52?" "( Cats screech )" "Stand by, station 52." "Hmm, cat food a dog likes." "Station 52 what did you think about the food?" "Zesty." "I found it zesty." "( Sobbing ):" "...Broken all the rules." "So, you liked the cat food?" "Did i ever!" "You both liked the cat food?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, i-i-i loved it." "Hmm..." "New, from the people who brought you choco kraut." "Hey, you got dog food..." "In my cat food." "Dog:... oop, that's me." "Um, you got cat food in my dog food!" "Both:" "Mmm, mmm!" "Catdog food!" "Contains no more than 90% ash." "Fine work, gentlemen." "Catdog food's the cat's meow-- or should i say the catdog's meow?" "( Laughing heartily )" "Any idea what your saturation index is?" "Twelve?" "Two?" "128!" "And, at 128 you can't go any higher!" "You're totally saturated..." "And then some." "Saturated?" "Is that a good thing?" "Let me put it another way." "( Cheering ) If that's not saturation" "I'm an armadillo's snout!" "( Chanting ):" "Catdog, catdog..." "Those people are here for me?" "You betcha!" "You're going to be big colossal, gargantuan walloping and other synonyms for big." "Hmm..." "Hey, cat, i can see our house from here." "( Elevator bell rings )" "Gentlemen, be proud." "Be very proud." "You've launched a food product." "( Chanting ):" "Catdog, catdog, catdog..." "Look at them." "They're gaga over us, dog..." "Gaga!" "( Crunch )" "( Engine purring )" "( Dies down )" "Well, kiss my shorts." "It's catdog, the new kid on the block." "You're b-b-Barry, the... ( Stammering, yelps )" "Barry the baboon!" "That's right." "I can't believe it." "It's him, it's him, it's him, it's him it's him, it's him it's him, it's him, it's him!" "Listen, dog, dog, dog, we're ad mascots now." "We represent a hip new food product." "We've got to show a little panache, a little cl... ( Yelps )" "I heard about your saturation index." "128, hot stuff." "You're up there with Barry." "You're so much bigger than on TV." "Boy, you're so fa... ( Clears throat )" "What dog means to say is you're so..." "Fantastic." "( Muffled ):" "No, i did not." "You're fat." "Barry understands the confusion." "The camera takes off at least five pounds." "How often do you change the tub water?" "What water?" "Newsreel announcer:" "First stop on catdog's meteoric rise to fame, swankers." "( Bulbs bursting in flurry )" "Next stop, magazine coversville:" "Sports illustrations..." "Timelyish..." "Snazzy..." "And toll booth monthly." "Catdog got so big they had a rest stop named after them on the Jersey turnpike." "Canada changed its name to "catdog."" "As their fame grew, so did cat." "Dog was left carrying the bags." "And, as if that wasn't enough cat insisted the nation of catdog drop "dog" from its name." "Now Canada was just called "cat."" "Hey, watch the water!" "Can't you see that you're getting cat wet?" "( Honks twice )" "Look out!" "Help, cat, the dog-eating squid is sucking my face!" "( Screams )" "It's eating my eyeballs!" "Look out, cat!" "Mad octopus!" "He loves to eat cats." "Banzai away!" "Incoming." "Oh, boy, it's a Tsunami!" "Look out, cat, tidal wave!" "Stop your childish high jinks this instant." "( Doorbell ringing, a dog barking )" "Dog... ( Sighs )" "Would you answer the door already?" "( Persistent ringing )" "( A dog barking, a cat screeching )" "Gentlemen!" "Who is it, dog?" "It's that rabbit guy who loves us so much." "Oh, yes." "Show him in." "Rabbit:" "Catdog food has been an unmitigated bonanza." "A boom..." "A cash cow!" "Now we are ready for phase two of the operation:" "Merchandising!" "Catdog hotel towel..." "Catdog bleach..." "Catdog brick." "And you can't forget the catdog bus pass!" "Man alive, our very own bus pass!" "Bow-wow-wow i can't believe it!" "Pretty spiffy, huh?" "Not one bit spiffy." "You actually expect cat to put his name on that crud heap?" "Why, cat has never seen anything more pathetic in any of cat's nine lives." "Oh, no-- there's one thing more pathetic and that's you, Mr. rabbit!" "Now get out!" "Out, i say!" "Out through cat's big door!" "Oh... ahh!" "Oh, my ventricle!" "Dog, my oxygen, quick." "Dog, please show this parasitic ingrate out." "Um, cat, he's long gone." "Really?" "Well... he'll be back." "He needs cat." "New, from the people who brought you choco kraut!" "Hey, you got dog food..." "In my cat food!" "( Sighs happily )" "Music to my ears." "It's catdog food, the new taste sen... ( Sound dies in garble )" "That catdog food was terrible." "That's right, parakeet." "It made me want to puke." "( Burps )" "And how about that catdog?" "Bunch of losers, if you ask me." "Boy, am i glad they got the boot." "Rabbit:" "And that's why you should buy hamster-parakeet food." "Yes, friends, make sure you throw away any skanky catdog food you have left over." "Act now and get a free hamster- parakeet bus pass and brick." "( Air escaping )" "( Ice clinking )" "I love these guys." "They give me goose bumps." "( Bursts into sobs )" "What have i done?" "That could have been our brick!" "Oh, I'm so sorry, dog." "I blew it, i blew it, i blew it!" "I blew the whole deal the kit and caboodle, the big enchilada." "It's all right, cat." "Really?" "( Plays beeping tones on cat's collar )" "Mmm, well, that was weird." "Dog:" "Hey, cat, I'm ordering some hamster-parakeet food." "Cat:" "That's good." "Hey, what do you want the brick or the bus pass?" "Right, give me the brick." "[Captioning sponsored by nickelodeon captioned by the caption center wgbh educational foundation]" "¶ One fine day with a woof and purr ¶" "¶ a baby was born and it caused a little stir ¶" "¶ no blue bug ¶" "¶ and no three-eyed frog ¶" "¶ just a feline, canine little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ out on the road or back in town ¶" "¶ all kind of critters putting catdog down ¶" "¶ got to rise above it, got to try to get along ¶" "¶ got to walk together, got to sing this song ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog ¶" "¶ catdog... catdog... ¶" "¶ alone in the world was a little catdog. ¶"