-----Original Message-----
From: Larry Wolfe [mailto:caboom@accessus.net]
Sent: Tuesday, November 28, 2000 11:22 AM
To: Cherry, Beth
Subject: meat hats??



LOL.............how in the world did you find that.


Here's some funny Santa letters

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling.  You're on your way to a career in lawn care.  How
about I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write?  I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger.  At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together.  Please see what
you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. you think he's gonna give that up to come back
to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly?  It's time to give up that
dream.  Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?  I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh.  You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of
scotch.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?  Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China.  I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films.  I unwind by drinking
myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.  Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible?  Good luck in whatever you do.  I'm skipping
your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me.  You're getting a sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass
kicked at school.  Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent apartment complex.  Third, I get inside your pad just like all the
burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa
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