[Ask a Guy] How do you handle 'different' kissing style ?

This is for guys and gals.
How do you handle it when you are dating someone that kisses completely different than you ?
And I'm not talking a 16 year old that may have only made out with one person.
I'm talking someone in their late 20's or early 30's.
I am no kissing professional, but most woman I have kissed have had mostly similar style to me.
The more I am dating, the more I realize some people just kiss different than others.
For example, I just started dating a cool gal, and we made out for the first time this weekend. This woman was in a 12 year relationship, and I don't think she EVER really french kissed. I think her idea of making out is mushing lips together. So, when I tried to french kiss her, she later commented that that will take some getting used to. I guess I struggle with the idea that she never french kissed before. I guess it is possible. I have met a couple other woman over the years that were 'different' kissers, but this is a little extreme. She seems open to 'getting used to it', but I have to admit, I'm a lil blown away that her technique is SO different than mine and most of the other woman I have dated.
Obviously communication is key here, and also making her comfortable to try something she quite possibly NEVER did with a guy she was with for TWELVE YEARS.
Anyone have similar experience with a new dating situation ?

I've noticed that my girlfriend never used any tongue when we would make out, it would be like me just sticking my tongue in her mouth and thats it. Its defiantly different because one girl I was with, she would actually use her tongue too. I told my girlfriend now to use tongue and now I enjoy kissing alot better.

Gold Member

Hmm I've only made out with three guys ever in my life...the second guy DEFINITELY was different, almost erotic cause he was very strong with his tongue against mine and would literally suck on my tongue. This taught me something new and now the third guy I've ever kissed is my fiancé.

We hardly make out ever, and when we do he gets a hard on. I like to do it more so during foreplay or during sex, and he loves the sucking the tongue trick, and he does very slow movements with his tongue, which was new for me in the beginning. So I guess some people do kiss differently, I'm happy guy #2 taught me something that is now a huge turn on for my SO

So ladies, what helped you adapt to the new technique ?
I am hoping I can teach a new trick or two to the new gal.
Was it just 'practice time' that helped you out, or did you actually have to discuss what was going on, and whatnot ?
I honestly don't think I could spend a long time with someone that I didn enjoy kissing with, ecspecially since in the past few years I have experienced some pretty good kissers.

Or, do I have to just accept that she kisses different than I prefer ?

Gold Member

My husband has never really made out. He will only use his tongue very rarely and only when extremely turned on. I like using my tongue at times so I have to put mine in his mouth and suck on his tongue and such. Had to talk to him about it though first. He wasn't really getting the hint

My husband has never really made out. He will only use his tongue very rarely and only when extremely turned on. I like using my tongue at times so I have to put mine in his mouth and suck on his tongue and such. Had to talk to him about it though first. He wasn't really getting the hint

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This Explains pretty much my situation.
I guess some people just dont like using tongue as much as other people? Problem is, that is really important to me. I feel like it loses intimacy if not really using tongue. JMO though. Apparently, this not THAT rare. There IS something to be said about finding a good INITIAL kisser. Hopefully me and the new gal can work together and we both end up happy.

Gold Member

Hmm I've only made out with three guys ever in my life...the second guy DEFINITELY was different, almost erotic cause he was very strong with his tongue against mine and would literally suck on my tongue. This taught me something new and now the third guy I've ever kissed is my fiancé.

We hardly make out ever, and when we do he gets a hard on. I like to do it more so during foreplay or during sex, and he loves the sucking the tongue trick, and he does very slow movements with his tongue, which was new for me in the beginning. So I guess some people do kiss differently, I'm happy guy #2 taught me something that is now a huge turn on for my SO

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I love sucking hubbys tongue too, not sure why it turns me on so much!

Guest

Sucking of the tongue to me is oral oral sex! (;
I've kissed one guy who just did quick kisses and no French. So odd for me. I'd try to make out and nothing.
Oh, and my current lover gets a hard on if we make out more than a minute! (;

Gold Member

Haha isn't it awesome how some sexy tongue action gets them hard so fast? Another is that simply talking about things I've done to him in bed give him goosebumps too

With the guy#2 he really made me think of the other wonderous things he could do with that talented tongue of his...if I only knew!!

ISOPC: She could be uncomfortable or just nervous and clueless what to do.Have you asked her if she likes to make out with you? Ask her what she likes that you do to her and what she likes to do to you and you tell her what you like to be done to you and what you like to do to her.

The girl you're describing sounds a lot like me. I don't like being french kissed at all or anything involving the tongue. I always feel like I'm being attacked when guys kiss like that. Maybe I haven't been french kissed by anyone who was good at it idk.

Gold Member

This is an interesting question. Even though until recently I have only had three boyfriends (now four), I've kissed an unknown number. For the purposes of this forum, I use the word boyfriend to designate men who I have had sex with. But really, I've had lots and lots of boyfriends in the greater sense of the word.

This is hard to admit because I am fairly compassionate towards others, but I have declined further dates with guys who were terrible kissers. In my defense, there were usually other things about them that I didn't like, but the terrible kissing just made my desire to see if I could look beyond these things plummet. What made them terrible?...lack of variation, too much or too little intensity at the wrong time, lack of playfulness and emotion and passion.

I have a kissing style that starts out in a very teasing matter, and the right person knows what to do with this (I love that my bf is like this too). In the past, the problem with how it all proceeded from there is that they would end up thinking that they were going to get to fuck me. No.

I am passionate about most things, kissing included. It is an art and a delight.