03 January 2009

Love, Rules and Sacrifice

If it's really love, there are no rules. If there are rules, it isn'treally love.

It may be like or lust, desire, pleasure, enjoyment or ecstasy. Butthose feelings that fulfill are only the results. They are symptomsnot the ailment, they are the effect and not the cause.

Love is a choice. A deliberate conscious releasing of one self toanother. You cannot have love without loss.

The act of loving, even your soulmate, the one who completes you,requires a giving up some of yourself. A surrender of some of yourinsides to make room for some of theirs. To allow your course to becharted in some way by anothers.

Love without sacrifice is often sought and never caught. Sacrificewithout love is impossible. Even for yourself. You have to loveyourself if you want to change for only you. It's easy to change togain other things outside ourselves (relationships, jobs, etc.). Welove them so we sacrifice.

The concepts are simple. But they are daring and they call us to themat. Without their simplicity we cab hide behind ambiguous wants,desires, and duplicity. We can get tangled up in choices andconflicts. To find what someone loves follow their time, follow theirmoney, follow their talk.

We make any exception or convoluted course of logic to rationalize ourdesires and longings. We never have to explain our loves. We agonizeand suffer for our wants and lusts but never think twice aboutsacrificing for our loves.

I've been struggling with this myself. Things I've known for yearseluding me behind a shield of enjoyment and desire. In the end I haveto choose to love myself. With that I can see compromises andconflicts more clearly. The shortfalls and sufferings stand out insharp relief when thrust into the light of my own self-respect.

Are you clear about your loves? Follow the lines in your life and cutaway the chaff. It's hard but necessary for growth. And growth isnecessary for happiness. And happiness will lead you to more love.