When My Ex Came Back: 5 Real Life Examples

Dan Bacon
Dan Bacon is a dating and relationship expert and the creator of Get Your Ex Back Super System, a video program that teaches you the fastest way to get your ex back. Dan is married to the woman of his dreams and has been helping men succeed with women for more than 14 years.

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Here are 5 real life examples of what men did to get an ex woman back and why it worked.

1. “I stopped being insecure and began to be the confident guy that she always wanted me to be. We met up, she felt attracted and then gave me another chance.”

Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. confidence, masculinity, self-belief, drive and determination) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, neediness, clinginess, self-doubt).

So, when a guy is being insecure in a relationship, this comes across as emotional weakness and it turns the woman off at a deep, instinctive level.

For example: A guy might initially get lucky when he hooks up with his girlfriend (fiancé or wife).

Then, after a while, he might begin to doubt his value to her and start thinking things like, “She’s just so beautiful. Why is she with a guy like me?” or “What if she meets a guy who is better looking/richer/more successful than I am?” or “She means everything to me. I just couldn’t live without her.”

Without realizing it, he is actually creating his own insecurity by thinking in that way.

He’s literally adding fuel to the fire of his insecurity every time he questions his value to her and after a while, it’s a fire that gets out of control and spills out into his relationship with her.

Feeling very insecure, he might begin to focus all his energy on her and make her the centre of his world (e.g. by giving up all his friends, hobbies and other interests to be around her even more).

Some women do like it when a man has nothing else going on in his life besides her, but these women are in the minority.

The majority of women prefer to feel that although her man loves and appreciates her, he has big plans and dreams that he’s working towards in life that are independent of his relationship with her.

So, rather than his complete attention on her making her feel loved and appreciated, it causes her to feel smothered and like the guy is using her as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life.

Over time, his insecurity drives a wedge between them and the thing that he has always feared the most ends up happening; she breaks up with him.

So, how can a guy get a woman back in a case like that?

Firstly, he needs to stop focusing all his energy on how much he needs her and get to the point where he wants her back, but can live a happy and fulfilled life without her.

When a guy does that, something remarkable begins to happen.

His insecurity starts to fade away.

He becomes a more emotionally secure, emotionally mature and emotionally masculine man, which is naturally attractive to women.

Then, when he interacts with his ex again (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) and she gets a sense that he is now a confident and self-assured man (e.g. because he is now focusing on pursuing his dreams in life rather than just focusing on being with her), her feelings of respect and attraction begin to resurface.

He suddenly seems more attractive to her than he has ever before because he has grown up as a man and she feels herself drawn to the new, confident, emotionally strong man that he has become.

It feels good to her to be around him. It feels right.

So, in most cases, she gives him another chance jut based on that.

Of course, not all women will give a guy another chance just because he has changed and improved.

Sometimes, a guy needs to use additional attraction and persuasion techniques (taught in my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System) to get a more stubborn, unwilling, closed off woman to open up and give him another chance.

Here is another example of how a man got his ex woman back…

2. “I got her to forgive me for taking her for granted, proposed marriage to her, she said yes and we got back together.”

In some ex back cases, a woman has broken up with a guy because she had been waiting too long for him to take their relationship to the next level by getting engaged and then married.

So, after a guy has re-attracted her and gotten her to forgive him for taking her for granted, a woman will sometimes be ready to say, “Yes!” right away to getting engaged.

3. I improved my ability to attract her, met up with her and re-attracted her and we then got back together.

The beginning of a relationship is always the easy part, because the thrill of new love puts a shine on any problems that might be there between the two individuals.

So, even if a couple isn’t fully compatible with each other, they are more likely to think, “Ah, we’ll worry about that later,” while the excitement of being together is still fresh and fun.

However, if the guy is unable to deepen the love, respect and attraction that a woman feels for him over time, the relationship will almost always break up when the initial thrill of new love wears off.

After the initial buzz and excitement of being with someone new wears off, a woman is less likely to overlook the things about the guy that have been turning her off.

For example: She might begin to ask herself…

Is the love between us growing stronger and deeper over time, or are we already drifting apart?

Do I look up to him and respect him as my man, or do I look down on him because he behaves in ways that are unattractive to me (e.g. he is clingy, needy, insecure, lacks ambition, isn’t able to dominate me in a loving way)?

Do I feel loved and appreciated, or is he taking me for granted (e.g. puts me in second place in his life behind work, friends, hobbies)?

Are we growing together as a couple, or is one of us improving and growing up while the other one is stuck at the same old level in life?

Do we have the same dreams, goals and plans for the future (e.g. get married, start a family together), or are we going in different directions?

If she realizes that he’s not the guy that she really needs him to be for the long term, a woman will gradually loses respect and attraction for him and the relationship will then begin to fall apart.

To get a woman back in a case like that, the guy has to improve his ability to attract her, and re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for him.

He does that by making some changes and improvements to his communication style with her.

For example:

He focuses on making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with him again.

He reacts differently to what she says and does (e.g. if she is being cold towards him, rather than get upset about it, he remains confident).

He shows her via his thinking, behavior and actions that he’s moved past the level he was at when she broke up with him (e.g. he’s more confident, he has big dreams that he’s working towards, he has the same goals and plans for the future as she does).

In response to his new, attractive behavior, she naturally begins to feel more respect and attraction for him as a man, and begins to look back at the problems in the relationship from a more forgiving perspective, because he really has changed.

She then drops her guard and opens herself back up to the love in her heart. They get back together again and their love is stronger than ever before.

4. “I cut off communication for 5 days, contacted her, met up with her and got the relationship back together.”

Although most people have heard that “time heals all wounds,” when it comes to relationships, the longer a guy takes to contact his ex after a break up, the greater the risk is of her moving on and meeting someone else.

Most guys don’t know what to do when they get broken up with, so they just give up on their woman, or they ignore her and hope that she eventually comes back.

This is one of the main reasons why some guys will spend weeks, or even months ignoring their ex.

For example: A guy might think, “Things between me and my ex have been too intense lately. She is always angry with me and has said that she never wants to see me again. Maybe if I give her enough time apart, she will eventually realize that she misses me, and then she’ll come back to me.”

Yet this approach only works about 20% of the time, and usually only because the woman is still secretly in love with the guy, or is struggling to get over the pain of the break up, or because she can’t find another guy.

Although some women do want their ex back after being ignored, it simply has not worked in 80% of the ex back cases that I’ve seen.

For this reason, when a guy cuts off communication with his ex for only 5 days and then contacts her (e.g. via text message, e-mail, on social media, or on a phone call) to arrange an in person meet up, he is a lot more likely to get her back than a guy who has been ignoring his ex for weeks, or even months.

A guy who contacts his woman within 3 to 7 days knows that the fastest way to get his ex back is by actively triggering her feelings of respect and attraction for him on the phone and in person.

He knows that if he just leaves her to move on without him, she will most likely do that and it will then be even harder to get her back.

When a guy actively makes his ex woman have feelings for him again, she then starts to wonder, “Why am I missing him all of a sudden? Why does it bother me that he’s not calling me enough? Why am I worried about him meeting someone else now?” and she opens back up to the idea of being in a relationship with him.

5. “I made her jealous by having lots of fun with friends and partying, she saw the photos on social media and then contacted me. We met up and got back together.”

When a guy gets into a relationship with a beautiful woman that he loves, he might make the mistake of neglecting the other areas in his life to focus all of his attention on her.

For example: He might stop hanging out with all his old friends, give up his hobbies and interests, and even put any career dreams on the backburner in favor of his relationship.

At the back of his mind, he might try to convince himself that he’s doing the right thing by saying, “She’s the one. Spending all my time with her and making her happy is all that matters to me.”

Yet, even if his intentions are in the right place, most women will perceive that type of behavior as needy, clingy and a sign of his emotional weakness.

Although a woman wants to feel loved and appreciated by her man, she also wants to know that he has a bigger purpose in his life outside of his relationship with her.

If she realizes that he’s using her as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life, she will gradually lose respect and attraction for him, and eventually she breaks up with him.

If he then understands where he went wrong, and focuses on becoming emotionally independent without her (e.g. he starts partying and having fun with friends, pursues his interests and hobbies, works towards achieving his goals) she will naturally begin to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him as a man.

She might then begin thinking, “He’s changed so much. He’s nothing like the guy that I broke up with. I don’t like the idea of him having so much fun without me, and I definitely don’t want to lose him to some other woman now,” and she feels herself getting jealous.

She then contacts him and they can get back together again by meeting up, reactivating old feelings, hooking up and getting a relationship started again.

However, it’s important to point out here that making a woman jealous doesn’t work is a guy is only pretending to have fun without her.

It’s very important that you don’t try to make your ex jealous if you’re secretly miserable without her, and are only posing in photos looking happy as a trick to try and get her back. Why?

All it takes for an ex woman to catch a guy out is to show some interest in him again by saying something like, “I miss you, but it looks like you’re having a lot of fun without me, so I guess you’re over me now, right?”

If he then admits that he is miserable about her, doesn’t want to be spending time with others and wishes he could be with her, she knows that he’s just putting on an act to get her jealous.

So, to avoid that happening, he needs to say something like, “Yes, I’m having fun. Life has been good lately. I’d still like to catch up with you as friends though. It would be great to get a coffee and say hi one day.”

She will then see that he is happy and is not rushing to try to get her to meet up with him and will almost always say something like, “Yeah, that would be nice.”

He then just needs to arrange a meet up by saying something like, “Well, I’m going to be busy for the next couple of days, but maybe we could arrange a quick coffee to say hi later in the week. What do you say? Maybe Thursday at 7pm or Sunday at 1pm?”

It’s best to ask her those things on a phone call rather than a text message because when she hears your confident, masculine tone of voice over the phone, it’s much easier to make her feel attracted.

Via text, it’s just too easy for a woman to say, “Let me think about it,” whereas on a phone call, she’s under more pressure to just say yes and go along with it.

When You Change How She Feels Getting Her Back Becomes Easy

One thing that all of the ex back examples above have in common is that the guy changed the woman’s feelings for him.

The ex back approach with the highest success rate is where a guy actively makes his woman have feelings for him again, rather than leaving it in her hands and hoping that she misses him enough to come back.

When you trigger her feelings of respect and attraction for you, everything changes.

Her guard comes down and she opens herself up to getting back together again because being around you feels good to her.

On the other hand, if you keep saying and doing the same kinds of things that you used to do before she broke up with you (e.g. insecure questions or comments, emotionally sensitive behavior), she’s just going to keep saying, “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore,” and will move on.

These days, women can easily find a new guy by going out to a bar or nightclub, or by using an online dating site or app.

So, if you want your ex back, don’t waste a lot of time trying to convince her to change her mind about breaking up with you.

She needs to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, based on experiencing the new and improved version of who you are right now.