March 3, 2009

Several shots of Grey Goose,Shake hard, thenSet down gently ... with a splash.

Trooper York (who has met me in person) said:

Despite all the crap she takes from the liberal loons, Althouse is not much of a drinker. She is actually tiny and more than one or two drinks would be very noticeable. So this is all bullshit and make believe fun.

But hey, apple juice in the rocks glasses worked as a gimmick for Dean Martin, so go for it.

Chickenlittle said:

I think she should cultivate an image of a hard drinker, even though she isn't. It's a good foil to fool the left and drive them even crazier.

Meade (who has met me in person) said:

Wait. Chickenlittle, are you saying she's faking it? That she's not really a hard drinker?

But that would change everything. And how would you explain her expensive tastes in vodka and whatnot?

Chickenlittle:

I really thought she was, but she seems to be denying it here. How can I argue? Why would Althouse be messing with our minds?

Meade said:

Wow. If it was just water, I'm afraid I owe her a big apology.

Wow.

Ricpic said:

Blame It On Moskva

Tiny Annie took a sipAnd tiny Eve turned red,Mortified but hic to hipBoth tumbled into bed.

Meade said:

Then Eve said something seemlyAnd Ann said oh pshawYou seem to some so dreamyYour bash of Rush withdraw!

How could anyone believe that that huge 16 oz. glass was full of vodka? How could I be talking normally after one hour of that? That would be enough liquor to kill me! What's wrong with you people? How obvious must a joke be????

What's especially disturbing is, she couldn't tell what she was drinking from looking at the empty bottles. She must have empty bottles lying all over the place. Maybe she's worried she drank lighter fluid and needs to see the doctor.

Despite all the crap she takes from the liberal loons, Althouse is not much of a drinker. She is actually tiny and more than one or two drinks would be very noticeable. So this is all bullshit and make believe fun.

But hey, apple juice in the rocks glasses worked as a gimmick for Dean Martin, so go for it.

I did a wikipedia on Eve Fairbanks. It came up blank. It didn't come up blank for Ann Althouse. I can't listen to the bloggingheads video so there might have been some introduction about her explaining who she is. If so my apologies.

Yeah, I can picture you there on that stoolDrinking like a drunken foolYeah, you're sitting there on your assMuttering into your glassPaying for your low-life thrillsWith wet quarters And soggy one-dollar bills

I know where you areI know where you areYou're down drinking at the bar

Next Blooging heads you should have a fake drink like Trooper said. One with clinky ice and maybe even a clove cigarette or what ever it is they pretend smoke on MadMen. I'll bet only Hitchens would have the cajones to take you on then.

An alcoholic game is just what's needed to smooth out the attacks from the libtards stirred up last night by you loose lipped Limbaugh Lovers.The rules of the game are everytime Michael lashes out, you must drink a shot of watered-vodka and then puke it up in his honor.

Next Blooging heads you should have a fake drink like Trooper said. One with clinky ice and maybe even a clove cigarette or what ever it is they pretend smoke on MadMen.

And show up wearing whipped cream or soap bubbles and see if it distracts the other commenter. Pretend everything's normal. Have a hand reach up and scratch your chin while the other commenter is speaking.

It's true that these video things are too primitive. First of all, you need to come out of steaming dry ice, Althouse. Confetti should be involved. And you should throw up chalk a la LeBron James. You need a theme song, too. Something fierce.

And when you sit down, you should stare directly into your camera and taunt. "It's gonna be a chilla, and a killa, and a thrilla, when I get TNR's Gorilla in vanilla."

Then, you pit in your mouthpiece and suck down a shot of Jagermeister and feistily annihimate your worthless twat of an opponent.

I was a pro loon once. I jumped port in Hong Kong and made my way over to Tibet. I got a job loonin' over in the Himalayas. You know, a pro jock. So I get a job loonin' for none other than the Dali Lama himself -- the bald head, the flowing robes. Striking.

So we get up on the first tee and he whacks off about a 10,000 foot crevice down into this glacier -- a bit hitter the Lama. Long. So he turns to me and says, "Onga-lagoonga. Oonga goonga lagrunga."

So we finish 18 and he starts to walk off. You know, tries to stiff me. I say, "Hey Dali. Hey Lama! How about somethin' for the effort, you know?"

He says, "Oh there will be no money but, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."

So today I learn that we collectively may have done him in (by 'we' I mean the collective accumulation of snarky bloggers, late night comedians and mean spirited baseball fans.)

From the linked article,

Odom's death had drawn little notice by the start of spring training this year. Now, former teammates, managers and club officians keep asking a question for which there is no satisfying answer.

"I guarantee this trade thing really bothered him. That really worried me," said Dan Schwam, who managed Odom last year on the Laredo Broncos the United League. "I really believe, knowing his background, that this drove him back to the bottle, that it put him on the road to do drugs again."

Should the collective pressure exerted by thousands of amateur comedians (and a few professional ones as well) on an apparently far more fragile than was realized 22 year old psyche deserve a measure of the blame?

Mark -- Why are you here, then? I mean, really. It's getting ridiculous, the number of people who come and take the time post at Althouse, solely to tell Althouse they don't care. That's why they are here posting, see? Because they don't give a rat's ass.

That guy's really a tough case, Eli. I mean, that guy's dream was to play baseball. That's probably the one thing he was any good at, and he was probably better than everybody in his town growing up. And then, not only to wash out, but to get traded for some bats. I'm sure it was disheartening.

On the other hand, at least the guy had a gift and was able to use it. Most people never even get that.

Gentlemen, gentlemen please. I do not claim to be an expert on Althouse. That would be Meade. He has spent much more time on Althouse. Allegedly.

However I am an expert on drinking. My extensive research in over forty years of imbibing spirits tells me several things. One of them is the capacity of drinkers to adsorb liqueur without slurring or otherwise noticeably displaying physical manifestations of enjoying alcoholic beverages. It is basically a function of practice and famiality but most of all a function of body weight. For example when Palladian and I were waiting at the last Althouse meet up I would venture to suggest we had at least five drinks before the Professor deigned to grace us with her presence. Neither of us was even slightly the worse for wear as we both have the body weight to adsorb such a piddling amount of alcohol. The professor not so much. Being small and slight of stature imbibing more than three drinks without a meal would be extremely noticeably especially when being filmed on boring heads. So it is patently ridiculous to assume she was drinking vodka while filming the ludicrous pap which serves as an entertainment vehicle for poindexters of the liberal persuasion.

I think you time would be better spent on continuing your work on explaining how fire can not melt steel and research the method in which the Republican National Committee controls the weather.

as an expert at being the designated driver, I can't stand drunken behaviour in front of me or in the seat behind me real or faked.

tiny or not, how your body absorbs alcohol is also a function of the condition of your liver and metabolism. This past summer when i was mad at the entire f-ing world, i faked a drunk act with a Wendy's frosty no less. Gads, that was one of my worst ideas ever. Really an embarassment and a stain against my character to have to sink so low in this world to get a laugh or attention.