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Depression: Supporting Someone Who Is Depressed

Introduction

If someone you care about has been diagnosed with
depression, you may feel helpless. Maybe you're
watching a once-vibrant person slide into inactivity or seeing a good friend
lose interest in activities that he or she used to enjoy. The change in your
loved one's or friend's behavior may be so great that you feel you no longer
know him or her.

You probably want to help in some way. This
topic will give you the tools to do so.

Depression is a disease. It's not
being lazy, and you can't "just get over it."

The best
thing you can do for someone who is depressed is to help him or her start or
continue treatment.

Offer support. You can do this by
understanding what depression is, being patient, and offering help.

Don't ignore talk about suicide. Talk to a doctor,
or call 911 or emergency help if needed.

Reassure the person that he or she will get better with
the right kind of treatment. Treatment depends on how severe the depression is
and includes medicine, counseling, self-care, or a combination of these.

How can you help someone who is depressed?

Here are
some things you can do to help:

Educate yourself

The more you know about
depression, the better you can understand what the person is going
through.

Know what is true about depression, and know
the myths about depression. Myths include thinking that depression isn't real or that you're weak if you're depressed.

Know
the warning signs of suicide, such as talking a lot about
death or giving things away and writing a will. If you notice them, call the
doctor.

Call 911 or emergency
help if you think:

The person is going to harm himself or
herself or others. For example, the person has a written plan or a weapon or is
saving (stockpiling) medicines.

The person is hearing or seeing things that are not real.

The person seems to be thinking or speaking in a bizarre way that
is unlike his or her usual behavior.

Help with professional treatment

If
you have permission, you can:

Help the person set up and get to visits with
a doctor or other health professional.

Help the person manage
medicines.

Know the side effects of medicines and contact the
doctor if needed.

Remind the person who has depression that
medicine is important and that the dose or medicine can be changed to reduce or
get rid of side effects.

Home support

A person who has
depression may feel alone in the world. Your support can help.

Listen when the person wants to talk. If
you're there to help the person talk things through, it may help the person
feel better or continue treatment.

Avoid giving advice. But gently
point out that not everything is bad, and offer hope. Urge the person to
continue treatment. Don't tell the person that he or she is lazy or should be
able to get over it.

Keep your relationship as normal as you can,
but don't pretend that depression doesn't exist or that there isn't a problem.

Ask the person to do things with you, such as go for walks or to a
movie, and encourage the person to continue with favorite activities. If the
person says no, then that's okay. But be sure to ask again in the future. Don't
push too much, which may make the person feel worse.

Ask what you can do to help in daily life. You might help with
housework or lawn care, getting the kids to school, or running
errands.

Don't be offended. If you are a spouse or are
very close to someone, you may feel hurt because the person isn't paying
attention to you and may seem angry or uncaring. Remember that your loved one
still cares for you but just isn't able to show it.

Take care of yourself

Spending a lot of time with
someone who has depression may be hard on you too. These caregiver tips can
help:

Take care
of yourself first. Do things you enjoy, such as seeing family or going to
movies.

Don't help too much. A common mistake caregivers make is
providing too much care. Even if they don't admit it, people like to help
themselves. Take some time off.

Don't do it alone. Ask others to
help you, or join a support group. The more support you have, the more help you
can give to the person.

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How this information was developed to help you make better health decisions.