No Pollution, Only Solution: ‘OxyBeer’ launched by Milind Soman

Speaking to faking news correspondent, Vijay Mallaya said, “There is so much carbon dioxide already in the air, that Delhites want carbon dioxide as the last thing in their beer too. That’s when it struck me, why not give them high quality oxygenated beer to experience a double high and we launched this innovative beer.”

He further added, “Delhi’s pollution is responsible for denting India’s image abroad and was casting a dark shadow on the whole tourism industry. The number of foreign tourists decreased in the capital since Delhi was declared as the gas chamber of India. Ban on crackers was an astute decision by the court. Our solution, oxy beer can now reduce all your odd times and make your lives even.”

“International R&D reports states that our beer has many benefits and was also tested on world’s fastest athlete Usain Bolt along with our very own handsome hunk, an ace marathoner, Milind Soman. After drinking oxy beer, Usain ran across entire Delhi within 24 seconds creating a new world record. We are pleased to share that ‘Kingfisher Oxy Beer’ has been declared the official beer for the upcoming London Marathon and even for the FIFA world cup. As much as it started as a novel idea, people in Delhi are buying it now for everyday use. We have received bulk orders from night clubs, health clubs, resorts, restaurant-hotels, airports, yoga studios and casinos,” said the liquor baron.

In a statement today on social media, Milind Soman wrote, “Oxy Beer is responsible for his sexual awakening. After drinking it regularly, girls and gays are going crazy for me. UNESCO has declared me as the national treasure of India. I have received the title as the perfect boyfriend material and crushes are going out of control and orgasiming to my name. I am the most searched person on Google in 2017 post my launch as the brand ambassador of oxy beer.Social media is going crazy with hashtags #BDSM = BeerDroolsSexyMilind !!.”

Mr.Mallya is surely having a good time with the launch of oxy beer since within a few hours of its launch on ‘Amazon’, the product went stock out and the pre-orders have been booked in large numbers for Christmas and New-year parties.

After this breaking news went viral, flabbergasted Baba Ramdev declared his intention to launch his new product, Patanjali’s PCI (Pollution Control Inhaler) exclusively for Delhites.