subscribe

Pages

Monday, December 15, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

I must admit, I've been dreaming of the day when I could name a Cake Wreck "Cake Rex" for a looong time now. Heck, we're talking prime potential-mascot material here, folks! So will today be the day? Will it?

Well, let's see:Uh, this looks like someone was going for a dinosaur-skin rug, but forgot to skin the dino first. He's kind of straddling the lines between alligator, lizard, and dinosaur, too. And what's going on with the back end?

Yikes! Are we sure there's actually a cupcake in there, Ian T.?

Next there's Jacqueline S.'s Nessie:

Actually, since there's two of them, maybe it should be Nestor & Nessie. Looove the shoestring necks and Nessie's pig snout, but those candles are just cruel. Not sure I want to get into the debate over whether the Loch Ness Monster is a dinosaur, either. Next!

Hey, look: someone decorated a block of floral foam with an "after-the-meteor-hit" vignette! The petrified dinosaur skeletons and the still-burning remains of the local vegetation are spot-on. We may not know the occasion, Gwen F., but at least Greg - whoever he is - is being greeted really enthusiastically. (Which is kind of ironic, given the whole death-and-destruction theme.)

So anyway, those are the remains of dinosaurs - do we have any with their skin still on?

What the heck... is that someone's small intestine draped over the side?!? And how much of that is actually cake, Shani H.? It looks like solid plastic.

Um, I don't think this is worthy of being called Cake Rex, either, but get a load of the itty bitty dino-arms sticking out next to the head. Kinda reminds me of my all-time favorite Dinosaur clip:

I've watched that about 8 times in a row now, and that arm-waving action still cracks me up.

I was about to comment on how the first cake so closely resembles a pile of green poo, but in that back end shot I see the poo is actually off to the left there. (what else could that glob of icing be?)They obviously missed the previously mentioned "how NOT to make icing look like poo" class.

The first dinobyte today....I am not sure the decorator has ever heard of frosting the cake as opposed to covering it with green for lack of a better term turds. This is especially true on the back end.

Leslie, I was basically going to say the same thing you did, but then I got to thinking...maybe that's actually what they were going for??? That's what the big hole on the back of the dino and a strategically placed pile of poo-esque icing tells me. Plus, the look on his face is what my puppy looks like after he's had an accident.

The little guy is cute in the first photo, but: green poo. Poo, poo, poo.

When I first looked at the destructo cake, I thought, "Wow, they're going for detailed realism. They've got some herbivores dining on... orange and red peppers." Then I noticed the herbivores were actually just skeletal remains. That one makes me laugh.

The first cake is supposed to be a Fat Buddy. Mike Terry created those (and even showed them off at the ICES convention this past year). I'll try to find a picture in my files of the real one so you have a "missed mark" to compare it to.

Everytime I see that swirly frosting made from the huge circle tip I don't know the number of, I want to throw up in my mouth a little. It just seems it can't look like anything BUT what it looks like! And as I type this, I must add the irony of the "word verification" which is showing, "HEINI". There you have it.

love the video clip I had to buy the movie after seeing it on the comercials and it is hysterical...

that first wreck reminds me of ... do you recall that tube of stinky plastic stuff with the straw that you globbed it on the straw then were to blow it up like a balloon? well it looks alot like it... or a really sick critter laid some nastys... EWWWWWWWWWWW

The one with the head sticking out makes me think of the Jurassic Park ride at Universal Studios... anyone been there? It's fairly fun, but there's one part where you are on the boat going under a pipe, and all of a sudden the pipe bursts open above you and the massive dinosaur head comes down on top of you.

Courteous Chihuahua....you know you're right. I don't know how I missed the gaping sphincter staring me in the face.I never thought I'd use those words when referring to a cake though. I think a little piece of my childlike innocence just died.

Earlier this year I was at a party with one of that last cake. The ratio of frosting to cake on that thing is so dangerously close to 1:1 that you might as well think of it as a giant CCC.For those playing the home game, only the middle of the top is plastic and motion-sensor-activated dinosaur.

I like them all! The first one is a cartoon. I suspect the after-the-meteor one really was intended to be that way, and there are bones near the guts of the latest meal of the last one - that's too big to be even a proto-human gut. Perfect for, say, an eight-year-old boy.

In the first cake whether or not they intended for the poo hole to be off center, at least they were smart enough to place the poo pile in the proper place. An "F" for Cake Decorating, but an "A" in Poo Trajectory!

I'm with Alix on this one: That first one is SO obviously a green asparagus monster. Someone's mom is clearly an evil genius intent on forcing her child to eat his asparagus, even if it is made out of frosting and will inevitably turn his poo green and rot out half of his teeth.

And that clip from Meet the Robinsons? The arm wiggle is made of 100% pure, unfiltered win-sauce.

I usually am a full time lurker, but I just had to add my appreciation for that "small arms" clip. Whenever I need a laugh, I beg the BF to say that line (complete with flapping hands). I usually end up on the floor I giggle so hard :)I find Greg!'s cake to be the worst of this bunch, the exclamation point is just soo sad.

Jen!I'm so happy you included the Meet The Robinsons clip. My husband and I use that line all the time when one of us does something we clearly didn't think through..."Aw honey - that was a little arms plan."

Ha ha haahahah ^-^ I saw that last one in my local grocery (Its a shame really, theres this great little bakery installed in there with all these gorgeous cakes and goodies and right down the counter from them is the normal baker...with that dino sticking out on top of the case.)

I saw it and pointed it out to my husband, who promptly said, "No, you can not use my phone to take a picture for the Cake Wrecks blog." lol, he's caught on to me already!

Don't worry about Nessie - there's no debate about it. While there were plenty of big, scary aquatic reptiles back in the day, none of them were dinosaurs. Of course, I do consider penguins to be actual dinosaurs, so they have learned to swim in the last 65 million years... I'll stop. Sorry.

Wanna see how it's "Supposed" to look (other than whoever tried to pipe my kids name on the side needs to learn how to space things out a bit)http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y66/CoopNWhitsMommy/DSC03566-1.jpg

And only the dino and the thing the dino sits on is plastic (and the trees) everything else is cake! (and the dino roars so that's bonus!)

It does make you wonder how T-Rex got it's reputation as a ferocious dinosaur with such tiny tiny arms.

The clip cracks me up completely. It makes me giggle as much as the clip from "Bolt" when the hamster is asked by the dog if he's ready for action, and the hamster gives his neck a crack and whispers huskily: "I'll get my ball". Because every miscreant out their is terrified of a hamster in a plastic ball. I know I'd be! Oh wait, I am a Cake Wreck Miscreant!

I saw the T-rex-with-intestine-cake at a local grocery store tonight. Apparently, that's not intestine - it's lava, flowing from a volcano. I don't remember lava looking like intestines, but, hey, I learn something new every day :-D

We carry the intestine-Rex cake at our bakery. It's one of our displays. I think every store in the chain has the rex-cake as a default display.

Ours looks exactly the same. This is how it's supposed to look. And it doesn't matter which store you go to, the Rex display--along with the rest of the displays for this particular chain--is never made by any of the decorators in the department. Our displays are mailed to us in boxes. Not only is this exactly how it should look, this is exactly what the company wants the customer to see.

The Rex, BTW, has a battery powered motion-sensor, and the actual plastic is about three inches by four inches. The rest of it is cake and frosting. They just switched the batteries out on our display. It jumps out at every fly/customer/dust laden breeze that goes past. It also has sound.

I think I'm going to kill it.

For the record, our display cakes scare me. I've worked here for a year. Not only are the cakes never changed, EVER, but today one of our decorators got bored and decided to touch the displays up with the airbrush. Because, you know, the frosting looked kinda faded. And dusty. And not very appatizing. Now they look very bright and very clean, and they're still the same damn cakes.

However, I don't think we can switch the displays out, or add to them. Two months ago they shipped us a new display cake. Somebody screwed up the icing getting it out. Nobody fixed it. It just went out with smushed icing. Our manager has better standards than that, and so does our lead decorator. They wouldn't put it out smushed if we were allowed to fix it ourselves. The only thing I can think of is that the displays are some kind of special non-food...stuff that fits in with health code. I have never asked. I'm not one of the decorators (thank. God.) and after the fourth month of seeing the same faded cakes on the stand, I decided I didn't want to know.

AHHH!!! Nessie DOES have a pig snout... but it appears that it's not connected to a head. Maybe some sick, Jack the Ripper decided to cut off her head and neck, tying the snout to torso with a piece of pink hemp.

And while we're talking about hemp, I've never seen a hollow, green, dinosaur that can poop GREEN wiry hemp in the same shape as itself.

Word Verification: Destie. A cross between despicable and plea: aka, it's so despicable that you plea for it to PLEASE PLEASE GO AWAY.

This reminds me the cake I had on my 6th birthday. My birthday is around Christmas time so it's only natural that the cake maintain a Christmas theme by featuring the appropriate colors (green and red... which I have always thought look rather blah together... that and red and pink) along with a Santa figurine. This was no ordinary cake however... due to my curiosity/obsession with dinosaurs at the time, I INSISTED that dinosaurs be present atop the cake as well, along with a volcano and palm trees. Let me tell you, that cake was the bomb diggity. That is the only cake I really remember from any of my past birthdays. If I find a picture I will send it in. It's a keeper. Keep in mind, this cake was designed by a creative 6 year-old, instead of a baker.

Search This Blog

Wreck the Halls

NEW! Pre-Order Today!

Buy the Book

Buy the NYT Bestseller

What's a Wreck?

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

order

Where's the book?

We don’t have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it’s cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.

Ordering Info

Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.

We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.