Ten Practical tips to survive marriage break up !

Last year, as some of you will know, We went through a Marriage Break up. I won’t go into the terrible details of how here but suffice to say it was the hardest thing our family have been through and wasn’t pretty for any of us.

While this was all happening I frantically searched the internet for ways to help me out of my situation.

The facts were

I had no money coming in

no money left in the bank

rent due, bills due, and the rest

One daughter that needed mental support,

Mental support I needed myself

one daughter stuck in a different country with college bills to pay and no way home.

It all seemed too much and no one place on the web could tell me how to tackle this huge mountain I seemed to face which is why I thought of writing my experiences down here to help if someone finds themselves at rock bottom.

These are 10 practical tips to Survive Marriage break up – they will not tell you how to mend your broken heart or fix your marriage but will help you move forward.

Ten Tips to Survive a Marriage Break up

Be Open About it

1. The first thing I did and the top thing I recommend is to tell your family and friends – be honest no matter how ashamed or bad you feel, these people love you and are on your side and want to help.

I went in without a clue what to do and came out with at least a vague plan. They will tell you what you are able to claim, who you should contact next and give you a list of other agencies that can help.

3.What if you have no job?

Being a stay at home mum for the majority of my life I had to get back out into the working world so my next stop was my Local Intreo Office – or job center. I will admit I was terrified and had no clue what to expect. But I was treated with respect by the staff and they told me what my options were and what was available in the way of training and benefits and helped me see a way forward.

4.Seeking mental Support

Tell you GP or Doctor what you and your family are going through. My youngest needed a lot of support through this, in fact, she still needs it. My Gp was able to get her counselling and support which I wasn’t able to access on my own.

5.What if you are in danger of losing your home?

Find your Local Community Welfare Officer. They will be able to tell you what help you will be entitled to if any. Also, they maybe be able to give you money to bridge the gap before any job seekers allowance or other money comes in. You can also valtrex online approach them if you are concerned about your living circumstances.

6. Accept all the help you can

Don’t be afraid or too proud to take offers of help. We honestly would not have gotten by without the kindness of those around me. I had no car and when my neighbor kindly offered to take me to the supermarket. This simple act was honestly the best help she could have offered. I am grateful every day for her help.

7. How to sort out the Bills

Contact your Utility suppliers and Mortgage supplies or in our case landlords immediately and let them know what is happening. I have found the more up front you are with them the more likely they are to give you leeway to pay. After all it is in their best interests in the long run.

8.Learn how to Budget

If you find it hard to budget contact an association like Mabs or look online for budgeting plans like Good Budget they have great advice and lots of ways to help you manage your budget if you feel unable to. I have a free Budgetting printable for you here

9. Getting Legal Help

If you need help with legal problems but feel you haven’t the money to hire a solicitor – there is Legal Aid available, there is a waiting list, so the quicker you approach them the better. If you can afford a solicitor get one straight away.

10.Helping your children adjust

Contact your child’s school. This might seem a bit odd but in the long run was one of the better things that I did. My daughter reacted badly to what happened. If the school were unaware of things at home they would not have been able to offer her the support they did. They really did try and make things better for her.

How we are surviving now

I am happy to say a lot of good has happened in a year. Things are better (even if I have had a health blip). I am proud to say that not only did I pass my exams to get into college this year but I also am now in full-time employment via an internship I was offered.

If you are in the scary position we were last year please know that no matter what you face. If you find yourself on the bad end of a break-up there is support out there for you.
And you are always welcome to ask me for help as I have been there. Drop me an email and I will endeavor to reply quickly.

Comments

WOW Amber! I am so very proud of you. God sometimes takes us through things to be a blessing to others, and I know this post will bless someone in the same situation. I can't believe how much you have gone through personally this past year and yet are just the sweetest, most helpful person. Thanks for all you do. Your girls must be very proud of you 🙂