Welcome to the Musings of an Eccentric Diva. My motto is: Giving Hollyweird movies the finger one movie at a time. Enter at your own risk (insert evil Vincent Price laughter here).

Friday, March 30, 2007

THE DYMYSTIFICATION OF THE N-WORD

During my pro-Black, pump your fist in the air days, I eradicated all uses of the word nigga from my vocabulary, my music, and my mind altogether. I was determined not to let this word slip from my mouth ever again. Over the years I relaxed my policy and used in it in the similar vein that Chris Rock used it in his infamous routine about “I love Black folks but I hate niggas”. It changed one day when I began to seriously think about the use of the word and I came to a conclusion: We as a people have given this 5-letter word entirely too much power. This word has driven people to kill and to be killed. How could one word wield so much power over a group of people who are so strong in nature, physically and mentally? That was the day I decided to use the word as often as I can in an effort to take away some of the sting. I am no longer a slave to this word and will be glad when no one else is either. I am aware of the implications and the struggles we have been through as a people because of this word but at some point we must let it go or else it will consume us. I used to struggle with the word ‘bitch” in a similar manner but I have embraced it and now wear it as a badge of honor. Hell I don’t care, call me a bitch...won’t hurt me one bit. Now call me a bad parent, a liar, or a thief and I will have to cut you. The Black race still does and always will bear the scars of slavery and racism but the healing must begin at some point. Now I ain’t saying go to the nearest Klan rally and sing Kumbayah with its members, let's not get crazy here. I’m still an RBG for life, pumping my fist proudly in the air and everything, I just no longer subscribe to the fact the word nigga is grounds for fighting anymore. I’m tired of fighting, bring on the Love Movement!

Bubby (Nicholas Hope) is a 35 year old man-child who has never left his home and has never been exposed to radio or television. His mother (Claire Benito) is fiercely protective and threatens him with the fear of polluted air to keep him from venturing outside. Bubby's only companions are a pet cat and the cockroaches in his tiny home, which he uses for "experiments". Bubby's long-lost dad returns home to meet the son he never knew and is appalled at what he finds. Tragedy strikes and Bubby is forced out into the world with very little language, money, or clothing. He manages to get by mimicking the world around him. Bubby is picked up by several people who try to help him. He comes in contact with really compassionate people and some equally cruel ones as well. His remarkable adventures include singing with a rock band and becoming a guardian angel to handicap people. Bubby embarks on a spiritual and social odyssey that will either transform the man-child into an adult or further destroy him. No more spoilers for me y'all.Nothing I've read about this film prepared me for what I saw. I kept the review short because I want the potential viewer to be just as shocked and surprised as I was. This film was basically "Forrest Gump Goes To Hell". Both films have similar themes, a man-child thrust into the cruel world to make his own way but Bad Boy Bubby is much darker and twisted than Forrest Gump. I found myself laughing at some of the most bizzaro shit I've ever seen in a film, the director spared no expense in the shock value department. From an aesthetic point of view, the home Bubby shared with his Mom was so bleak....I could feel the walls closing in on me while I was watching, I was glad when he finally left that house. Great camerawork in the film as well. Nicholas Hope was highly convincing as Bubby, that man could not make me believe he is totally sane in real life, bravo! Claire Benito as Bubby's mom is truly terrifying...she makes the Joan Crawford portrayal in Mommie Dearest look like June Cleaver. The ending was a surprise and was a great ending to a great film. This film is peppered with strong themes such as incest, rape, nudity, and foul language and is not recommended for the faint of heart or the local cineplex dweller. VERDICT: 4 Soul Claps

I'm pretty sure these sneaker shoe thingys were created for the hooker on a misson. She can outrun her pimp Sweet Daddy and catch a trick at the same time. That's the only valid excuse I can come up with for anyone wearing these shoes. What everyday chick would be caught dead in these fuckers? Where's the logic? Sneakers are supposed to be comfortable! Only a man would create these medival torture devices. Although these are really no longer in style, I still see them every now and then on the feet of some unfortunate soul. If one of my buddies owned a pair of these, I'd play Treasure Hunt with them and bury them where she'll never find them.....like in the grave next to Jimmy Hoffa or maybe the same place where Susan L.Taylor's of Essence Magazine hairline disappeared to.

A large wooden box is left at the doorstep of Jaime Asher (Ryan Kwanten) and his wife Lisa (Laura Regan), inside the box is a creepy ventriloquist doll. Jaime returns home from picking up take-out for himself and his wife to discover that she has been murdered in a horrific manner. Crushed by his wife’s death, Jaime and the doll travel back to his hometown of Ravens Fair to bury his wife and to investigate her murder. He returns home to find his estranged dad has been paralyzed due to a stroke and the town virtually deserted. He is also surprised by a new stepmother (Amber Valetta), unaware that his dad had even remarried. Jaime realizes the key to Lisa’s murder is a scary urban legend regarding a woman named Mary Shaw (Judith Shaw). Mary was a puppeteer who owned a theater where she showcased her plethora of scary ass minions. She was killed by the townsfolk when a little boy went missing after he mocked her during one of her performances. Legend has it that Mary haunts the town of Ravens Fair seeking revenge and will sever the tongue of anyone who screams. Another obstacle Jaime faces is a detective (Donnie Wahlberg) who tailed Jaime into the town believing that Jaime was somehow responsible for his wife’s death. Jaime returns the dilapidated theater to square off with Mary and her minions. Will Jaime end the curse of Mary Shaw or will Mary end up wearing Jaime’s tongue around her neck? No more spoilers from me y’all!

OK, I am not a big proponent of bootlegging movies but I wish I would have hit up the local bootleg man for this one. I could have scored this movie, Dj Drama’s latest mix cd, and a bag of Doritos for $10 bucks. This was not even worth me ironing my jeans to leave the house, I want my elbow grease back! Not to mention it was discount night at the theater and there were so many disrespectful teens in the audience, I wanted pull a Mary Shaw on every last one of them. I was looking forward to seeing this because it was written by the same guys who created the Saw movie franchise and Hostel, which are all great films. I can understand the need to do something different but at least attempt to make it enjoyable. The dolls used in the film were certainly creepy, they were the best thing going for this. The damn dolls had more life in them than the lead actor Ryan Kwanten who played Jaime. In retrospect, Donnie Wahlberg’s character did bring a few laughs to the table, but not enough to save this. The old theater in the film looked so Film School 101…complete with Dollar Store cobwebs and requisite collapsing floor. In summary I would say save your coins and wait until this shitastical mess comes on cable or skip it all together. This film is not recommended for humans, children, houseplants or cockroaches.

Olive (Abigail Breslin) is a runner-up in the Little Miss Sunshine beauty pageant. Olive is not the most attractive child but her spunk and charisma makes up for what she lacks. Her family agrees to drive her 700 miles to Redondo Beach, CA for the pageant. Coming along for the ride are her mom Sheryl(Toni Collette), a frustrated wife, her dad Richard(Greg Kinnear)..a bootleg motivational speaker and a perpetual asshole, her brother Dwayne, who has taken a vow of silence until he can run off to pilot school. Grandpa(Alan Arkin), a heroin-shooting ex-military man who was recently booted out of a nursing home and lastly Uncle Frank(Steve Carrell), a gay, suicidal professer who's recent ousting from his job and the breakup with a lover caused his downward spiral. The crew hop into the family's raggedy VW van and head west for the pageant. Car problems, health issues and other assorted events threaten to keep Olive from achieving her goal. Will Olive make it to Redondo Beach to be crowned Little Miss Sunshine or will she go home with her tail between her legs? No more spoilers from me y'all!

Let me start by saying Abigail Breslin is the cutest thing ever. I thoroughly enjoyed watching her in this movie. As for the rest of the film, to quote Public Enemy, "Don't Believe The Hype". I found this to be WAY overrated. I almost felt bad for not enjoying as much as others did...almost. The movie did have its funny parts but no where near the laughfest folks made it out to be. Alan Arkin is hilarious but hell he's funny in every movie he's in. After viewing this I believe his Oscar was bestowed upon him as more of a lifetime achievement award because I've seen he has been much funnier than this. Greg Kinnear is a truly slept-on actor, I've liked him in every film I've seen him in. The rest of the cast did very well with the material they were given. The real star of the movie is the VW van, that thing was jacked up! Although this movie is centered around a child, this is no Disney affair so please lock the chlilrun up before watching.

Rock music is what's up, especially old school rock. Live rock shows are my new thing now, I try to catch them whenever I can. I can bang my head with the best of them. Brad Delp was the lead singer of the 70's rock group Boston. The group had the best White boy afros ever lol! Boston's well-known hits include "More Than a Feeling" and "Peace of Mind". Apparently he died of natural causes and no foul play was suspected. Mr. Delp was 55 years old. He died with little or no fanfare in my opinion so I decided to pay my respects to him. Below I am posting the video for the song "More Than a Feeling"...this is my cut! Rock on in the afterlife Mr. Delp!

UPDATE:It is now known that Mr. Delp died as a result of an apparent suicide of carbon monoxide poisioning.

Spring is approaching and it's time for us ladies to put the boots away and get the crust scraped off our heels in preparation for sandal season. I have already started buying and let me tell you, I got some cute shit I can't WAIT to wear. But let my pump my brakes for a second to talk about what NOT to wear. These mofos pictured above are an abomination of womanhood and should be banned in all 50 states and provinces, including Puerto Rico. I am shocked at the staying power these cheap, tacky muthafuckas have....they have been lurking in the shadows for the last 6 years or so. The Eccentric Diva is all about one-stop shopping but I have to draw the line at buying my shoes from the same place I can get some hair, cheap lipgloss, cleaning supplies and Lion Of Judah wall pictures. I would walk barefoot on hot coals rather than wear these shoes. My daughter had a couple of pairs and I bit the bullet and tried on hers just to see if these shits were comfortable. Let me tell you, they SUCK! I could feel every bit of the pavement when I walked outside, and trust me..I didn't go far in them for fear of someone seeing me. If I want something comfortable, there are so many cute flats on the market now. Remember ladies, the devil is a liar and he makes ugly, cheap ass shoes too.

MOVIE REVIEW: Bully-2001Childhood friends Marty (Brad Renfro) and Bobby (Nick Stahl) are inseparable. They spend most of the day surfing, getting high, scoring cash, and chasing hoes. You rarely see one without the other. The guys share everything, including girlfriends, but not due to Marty’s willingness to share. Marty becomes seriously involved with Lisa Connelly (Rachel Miner) and she becomes pregnant. Bobby views Lisa as a threat to his close relationship with Marty and in retaliation verbally and physically abuses Lisa and anyone else he comes into contact with. Most kids in the neighborhood fear him because he turns them into human punching bags. Not to mention if chicks won’t put out, he’s known to take it. Marty, with help from Lisa, her buddies, and a “hitman” named Derek (Leo Fitzpatrick) conspire to rid the world of Bobby once and for all. After a night of partying and bullshitting, the crew decides to do the deed and devise a plan to off Bobby and throw him into the swamp. Will these airhead kids chicken out or will they make Bobby food for the gators? No more spoilers from me y’all.

I have been contemplating watching this like forever. I finally got around to it at 3am one night and it was good enough to keep me awake until the end. Great film but this is no day at the park. The sex scenes are highly graphic for a movie centered around teens. I thought I was watching a Skin-A-Max film with a plot during some scenes. This film was produced by Larry Clark, the same cat who made the film Kids so I guess I should not have been surprised by the graphic nature. Nick Stahl (great actor btw) who played Bobby was really scrawny, I kept wishing Marty would just beat his ass already. Although small in stature, the Bobby character was nonetheless despicable and frightening. I kept asking myself after the film if he really deserved his fate. Brad Renfro did a terrific job as the timid, confused Marty. The ex Mrs. Macauly Culkin Rachel Miner has great screen presence and it was really courageous of her to parade around nude for damn near half the film. The build-up to the climax was a little frustrating for me. I wanted jump into the TV screen, take a bat from one of the kids and beat the shit out of Bobby my damn self! They were taking too long to do the darn task. The filmmakers captured the bleakness of the living situation of the kids involved…they looked rode hard and funky for sure. Unfortunately this story is not a work of fiction, and the film adaptation stayed true to the story with the exception of the physical attributes of both Bobby and Lisa. The real Bobby Kent was a huge, hulking, steroid-using freak, it is understandable why people would be afraid of him. The real Lisa was slightly overweight and no where near as cute as Rachel Miner. The real story was profiled on A&E’s American Justice. I just viewed the episode on Saturday so I’m sure it will re-air again soon. This film is riddled with graphic sex scenes, drug use, and violence.

Ben Folds is my man fifty grand. He plays the piano like nobody's business and I love piano-based rock music. I also love quirky, hilarious lyrics and this song fits the bill. I've posted the lyrics to "Song For The Dumped" below, check it out:

Song for the Dumped by Ben Folds and Darren JesseeSo you wanted to take a breakSlow it down some and have some spaceWell fuck you too!

Usually I tend to stay away from American remakes of foreign films. Hollyweird has a tendency to turn sugar into shit. I remember when it was announced a few years back there would be a remake of the awesome Japanese film “Shall We Dance?” with J-Lo and Richard Gere…WTF??? I was so mad I did not speak to anyone for an entire day! Since I felt The Departed was such an awesome film, I felt it could not hurt to see the original film it was based upon, Infernal Affairs. Usually I would have seen the original foreign version of a film first before watching the American remake but the premise of Infernal Affairs did not grab my attention when it was released. So basically I saw these films in reverse order. I will not do a full review of Infernal Affairs, it would be pointless since it mirrors The Departed, to review one would be to review the other. What I will discuss is the contrast between the two films.

Infernal Affairs is more stylized and visually stunning. In contrast, The Departed is more gritty and realistic in nature….no flash, no dash. Infernal Affairs has far less violence than The Departed. You don't get as much background information on the characters in Infernal Affairs versus The Departed. We get to know the main characters from The Departed from childhood up to the moment they face off. The crime boss played by Jack Nicholson in The Departed is less flamboyant and not nearly as entertaining the crime boss in Infernal Affairs. The crime gang in Infernal Affairs were much younger and flashier than the crime gang in The Departed…..those dinosaurs needed to be put out to pasture. I will add that The Departed really stayed true to the original material, at some points in the film I knew exactly what was coming when watching Infernal Affairs. The ending of both films differ a bit but neither disappoints. In parting I will say that for once Hollyweird got it right, the good reputation of a great foreign film remains intact.

How do I HATE thee...let me count the ways! Boy are these some terrible shoes. Every man at my job owns a pair. They will wear these bad boys until the sole falls off. In the summer time, men wear these ugly muthafuckas with no socks and shorts.... ankles all red and shit. Last summer at an outdoor Michael MacDonald concert, we actually counted how many fellas were sporting these shoes, let me tell you the number was well over 100! These shoes scream balding, middle-aged dad with a minivan, not sexy by any means. Women have "Mom Jeans" and these are certainly "Dad Shoes", what a great collaboration!