Monthly Archives: August 2012

Yesterday, one of my favorite authors, Ann Voskamp, posted a message on her blog that may have changed my life.

Sunday night, I couldn’t sleep under the pressure of knowing that I couldn’t find my shovel. My heart was heavy with this burden and I felt ashamed, confused, and estranged. I was ready to claw my ditches into existence with my bare hands.

Ann’s post, handed me my shovel. It was under the heap of life. Work, kids, house, projects, grocery lists, to do lists, husband, church…….. life. A single word, Radaph, placed that shovel back into my hand.

It means “Chase, pursue, hunt down, run after” and it is found in this little nugget of a verse…..

Only [God’s] goodness and faithful love will pursue meall the days of my life…. Ps 23:6 HCSB

In the NIV the text says follow but in the original language the word RADAPH is used. To follow means in my mind to be like a shadow. There. Present. But…. If God’s goodness and love is hunting me down, that is a whole other story.

I may be busy with life but God is hunting me down….. chasing me down! Like I have down when I was busy with life in a grocery store isle and discovered my child had toddled away from me. I dropped everything and chased after. I wasn’t resting until my babe was back in my sight or in my arms.

I’ve toddled away. And every day, God is pursuing me, regardless. My shovel is back in my hand. I’m digging my ditch among the trenches of life. It won’t be long before God’s arms pulls me in close because He is a pursuing Father who has chased down this wayward toddler.

Today’s sermon hit me square between the eyes. It has been on my mind ever since I heard it.

My pastor so cautiously pointed out that in our spiritual lives we have seasons. Seasons where we are on fire for God and doing His work. While other seasons we feel like we have lost desire and passion for the work we have been doing.

Ouch.

That is me.

In that lost desire season.

My spiritual momentum stands still.

My pastor explained that we can not create momentum with yesterday’s memories. My time is now. And that standing still and waiting for the blessings to come won’t be a bless-filled wait.

He talked of Elisha and his message to the leaders looking for water, “dig ditches because water is coming.”

In other words, do something. Don’t stand there waiting on the blessings. Dig ditches to capture all the blessings that will flow my way.

There is just one problem……

My shovel is missing.

That is exactly what was running through my mind all morning, “My shovel is missing.” I asked myself over and over again, “How bad do you want it, Regina?”

Do I really want to continue in this season? I’ve been miserable. Feeling lost, confused and tired……my shovel is misplaced.

My time has been given to other projects. My energy into other things. My passion put into other facilities.

I’ve cried out to God today. I am ready to scratch the ditches into form from the nails of my fingers. I want to dig and scratch the soil with my bare hands and soul. I want the ditches dug. I want the blessings to rain down on me drenching me.

So a person has come into my life. Someone who doesn’t make the most wisest decisions. This person tries to fit in….. throwing some Jesus lingo here and there. Tells stories to find a place in conversation but the topic this person will choose make… well, your eyes pop right out of your head due to the subject matter. Politely, I say, “Some things should be left to the imagination.”

I realize the efforts to fit in…… I try to include. I try to share Christ in a non-threatening manner. I try to be the example. But then, I find myself worrying for this person, being critical, and sometimes shying away.

Without going into detail, it really amazes me how lines of inappropriate behavior can be crossed without even a thought. It just seems so natural for some.

As shocking as it can be, it also saddens me. The attention sought by such behaviors is the reward, or the fuel, needed. But, that kind of attention seeking breaks my heart.

The mother in me wants to take them by the hand and scold in a warm friendly manner. The woman in me screams, “We must have dignity!!” The Christ in me wants to put my arm around them and say…..”God knows you are more than this.”

Would it go to deaf ears? Would the seed be planted?? Will change ever be found?

Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. Thessalonians 4:1

It is my prayer that they understand that God loves them. And that is the reward/fuel needed.