You have questions about Manti Te'o. I have questions about Manti Te'o. The FOOTBALL GODS have questions about Manti Te'o. It's a story that is hypnotically inexplicable—the kind of story that sprouts a zillion different theories as to potential motivations. So let's explore some of those, shall we? It's time for a live edition of the Deadspin Funbag.

A couple of notes before we begin. First off: I know exactly as much about this story as you do. Virtually everything I say below will be speculative bullshit. Secondly, we're doing this Funbag in Kinja. Don't bother sending questions via email or Twitter. You gotta get down and dirty with me in the bowels of the discussion system if you want to play along. And if you're just lurking, go ahead and hit that circley arrow thing once in a while to update the page. And by all means, go ahead and ask a few random, non-Te'o-related questions if you like just to spice things up. Also, please note that my name is not Drew Magary, and that I'm actually the imaginary online construct of a 52-year-old Arizona woman. LULZ. Let's begin.