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Loving Your Spouse When You Are Single

My 22 year old, single daughter, Brittany wrote this article recently. I felt it would touch someone’s heart and life. She gave me permission to post it here.

There are times when I have been discouraged about being single. Third wheeling, no date to bring to a wedding, all your friends being married, all the questions about WHEN you’ll find the right one, I have been there – am still there. (single, that is)

The Lord has spoken to me some words, and figured I would share it and maybe some of my single friends will feel encouraged. Not everyone will get married, but I am speaking to those with the desire to be married. I haven’t mastered all of these, and I am still clay at the Potter’s wheel.

How I love my spouse (when I am still single):
1. I love my spouse my remembering it’s not just about the ring on the finger. I wear a purity ring that will be replaced by a wedding ring one day. But, it’s about my WHOLE LIFE, not just the span of my life when I am married. How am I bringing good things NOW? Tomorrow morning? Next month?

Proverbs 31:12, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”

2. I love my spouse by crucifying the flesh so that Christ reigns. This goes into so many areas, but one I will mention is abstaining from sex, and pornography. My body is the Lord’s, and treating it as sacred is important. This honors God and my spouse. (If you are seeking help with this area, look up Fight the New Drug)

Psalm 101:3, “I will not look with approval on anything that is vile.”

Romans 13:14, “Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

3. I love my spouse by not letting bitterness and impatience take hold. It’s easy to see all your friends as happy couples and be bitter towards God. But, taking a step back and remembering that He has GOOD plans, at the PERFECT timing sets your mind in the right place.
Romans 8:25, “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”

4. I love my spouse by being thankful in every circumstance. Did you know that when you get married life problems don’t go away? Loved ones die, people get sick, you can lose your job, tragedies HAPPEN. But, when your soul is founded on something SOLID, Jesus Christ, nothing shakes you. You have joy in places where only “darkness was supposed to reign”. Also, there are a MILLION things to be grateful for, just ask God to open your eyes to see the gifts He gives.
1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

5. I love my spouse by learning life skills. It’s fun to think of some knight in shining armor slaying the dragon. But, cooking, cleaning, changing a tire, etc are important skills that will benefit your spouse.
Luke 16:10,”One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.”

6. I love my spouse by waiting on God’s permission. Choosing your own timing, person, and situation may seem beneficial. But, I know from experience that it’s BETTER to wait on God to bless a relationship. Having to say no to dates seems completely backwards in my season. Yet, waiting for God’s timing is so much more worth it than all the comments and sideways glances I get.

Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”

7. I love my spouse by praying for them. I pray for his safety, the development of his character, the relationship he has with The Father, that he would be wise about life, that he would say no to temptation, etc. Pray for your spouse the way you would want to be prayed for.
Mark 11:24, “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
1 Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing.”

This season isn’t easy, but the next season won’t be either. The Lord refines us like gold in every life marker. I pray that you would use your single years wisely, because it’s for a short season (big picture wise).

Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”