While the makers of the forthcoming live-action Captain Planet movie piece together the remnants of your childhood, the folks at Funny or Die are owning the Planeteer game with yet another video featuring Don Cheadle as the terrifying enviro-hero gone mad with green power.

Children of the '90s were aghast to hear there was a live-action Captain Planet film reboot in the works, courtesy of the producers behind the Transformers movies. Even the good people at Funny or Die took heed, making their own version of what a live-action Captain Planet movie would look like... if Don Cheadle (in horrifying blue face paint and the Captain's trademark green mullet) played the part of the eco-friendly superhero, with folks like Brenda Song and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite onboard as his multi-culti band of annoying young do-gooders.

With this morning's news that Disney is courting Never Let Me Go director Mark Romanek to helm a Cinderella remake, it has become even more apparent that Hollywood is not going to keep its hands off of our Disney princesses. (Already, we have at least two Snow White reboots underway, one sensual Little Mermaid project in development, and a Hailee Steinfeld Sleeping Beauty redo.) In fear of which princess project will be announced next, Movieline has outlined four worst-case-scenario Disney adaptations that might make, say, the inevitable live-action Pocahontas action reboot seem less horrific in comparison.

From Transformers to G.I. Joe to this weekend's The Smurfs, children of the '80s have lost many a Saturday morning cartoon memory to the cash-grabbing clutches of the Hollywood remake machine. Plenty more are being developed into shiny, CG-smooth reboots as we speak. So let's take a moment and plea, for the sake of those that remain, that these nine beloved, totally '80s children's properties be left where they belong: In our fuzzy, warm past -- safe in the glow of yesteryear.

Captain Planet and the Planeteers, among the cheesiest children's properties that the '90s birthed, was a cartoon very earnestly devoted to encouraging environmental awareness among youngsters built around the multi-colored titular superhero. Now, thanks to the folks who brought us Transformers, that mulleted, blue-skinned emblem of early-'90s morning TV will be updated with a live-action film. Has retro rebirthing gone too far?