Who We Really Are 191

We’ve all heard that question many times. Mostly in our heads. And I’ve been there too.

But I finally found a proper answer that will make me stop asking it.

If we think about it, it causes us too much stress. The question itself is not the problem, but all the worries, fear, wondering and overthinking that go with it are.

How ridiculous is it to spend so many moments we can’t take back asking ourselves that over and over again? And after each unsuccessful try we become a bit depressed, sometimes lose hope for a while and can’t enjoy the present.

In fact, does it really need to be defined? I mean, we could be anyone and anything we want to, we are the creators and are all together in this.

We put labels on everything, including ourselves. Actually, we judge ourselves and are being judged more times a day than we smile. So we are all that.

You can be an average person – just a part of the crowd, or in love, a writer, famous, a parent, student, someone who is helping people and contributing to the world, or another one that’s looking for a purpose and trying to find his path, or a person who has a disease, who dreams of becoming an actor, or rich, or else.
It’s all your choice.

For example, I’m a blond girl, that loves to write, loves deep thoughts, prefers simplicity over a complicated life, has certain goals and dreams, feels lonely or a void inside every now and then, fails but is alright with that, has fears but tries to challenge herself and go out of her comfort zone, has a great relationship with her mother but hasn’t really mastered the one with her father, and many more things.
And in each moment I choose which of these to be. Now I’m a blogger, then I’ll watch a movie and be in another reality, tomorrow I may have a gym session and be one of the many girls there trying to burn some fat, etc.

So the answer of the question is that it doesn’t really need to be answered. You are who you are. Stop trying to define it because words won’t be enough.

We’re amazing human beings with countless possibilities and instead of trying to put a label on that, try to enjoy the present moment as much as you can, create, dream, love. laugh.
That’s when you realize who you are.

The next step after realizing that not every question needs to be answered, is to accept what you are. To love yourself for what you’ve been through and where you’re heading now. To appreciate and be honest with yourself. Then you’ll give your best, then you’ll be invincible, then you’ll leave a great legacy.

We rely on words way too much. But, lately, I’ve become aware of the fact that they only ruin the things we’re trying to describe.

A sunset, for instance, should be watched and enjoyed in pure silence. So that you can be there with your whole being, without thinking what you’re going to do later, or what the weather is, or when the sun will go down, and without saying how beautiful it is.
Because when you say that you ruin the view. You give a name to that beauty, you compare it to something else, you wonder if it’s going to be even better tomorrow.

That’s the zen way of looking at things and not everyone will agree.
But since I’ve started emptying my mind so that I can truly enjoy the things around me, I’ve become much happier.

So be grateful for who and what you are. Also, stop defining yourself for the things you’re not and focus on what you have, do and are and embrace it.

“The answer is, who you are cannot be defined through thinking or mental labels or definitions, because it’s beyond that. It is the very sense of being, or presence, that is there when you become conscious of the present moment. In essence, you and what we call the present moment are, at the deepest level, one.”Eckhart Tolle

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For those suffering from addiction, the Twelve-Step Program is the world’s most famous method of recovery. It was introduced back in 1939 in The Alcoholics Anonymous ‘Big Book’ as it’s come to be known.

It’s since helped many more than one hundred men (and women) and has been only slightly adapted over the years. Regardless of small changes, the core principles of admitting alcohol/narcotic dependency, believing that God can restore health, and making amends to others hurt during one’s addiction are retained.

While this program has had many successes in helping thousands across the world to overcome their addictions, there are two main criticisms:

It doesn’t work for everyone, and;

It is founded on faith in a Higher Power.

Some people try this famous program, lauded as the ultimate key to sobriety, only to be disappointed and feel a sense of hopelessness that something that has worked for so many hasn’t worked for them.

Others are put off that belief in God is required to truly embody the program, which some people simply don’t align with.

It’s important to remember that the Twelve-Step Program is far from the only addiction management and recovery method out there. Every individual is different; therefore, a one-size-fits-all approach to addiction (or indeed anything) is impossible.

Here are some other recovery programs that have facilitated recovery from addiction for many people around the globe.

SMART Recovery

This organization focuses on cognitive behavioral therapies that help addicts to adapt their reactions, thought processes and dependencies into healthier habits. It helps those with alcohol and drug dependency recognize the emotional and environmental factors behind their problems and learn to manage addictive behaviors. SMART is committed to evolving its program as scientific knowledge evolves; remaining active rather than static where addiction treatment is concerned.

If this sounds like something you’d like to try, there are over 635 groups in the US and 613 international groups – it’s more than likely that there is one in your vicinity.

Women for Sobriety

If you are a woman who feels she would be more comfortable supported by a group of women, this is offered by WFS.

The group was founded in the 1970s by Jean Kirkland, who developed her own way of overcoming addiction and dependency. It centers on bolstering women’s self-value and addresses the individual emotional issues that lay behind each person’s addiction.

S.O.S.

If Twelve-Steps hasn’t worked or isn’t something you want to try, but you’re open to getting support from a secular organization, then S.O.S. could be an option to explore.

They work on an abstinence-based approach and their groups are free to anyone who wishes to be free from addiction. They are a non-profit organization and cover running costs with donations, which are greatly appreciated by anyone who uses the service or other supporters.

Meetings generally begin with celebrations of sobriety and abstinence anniversaries, followed by discussions and group activities. They aim to create a positive, buoyant atmosphere through which to motivate members. Sharing of advice and strength is promoted and members are encouraged to offer their utmost support to others.

Besides these examples, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of rehabilitation facilities all over the world that have developed their own recovery programs – it’s down to the individual to choose one that they think will benefit them best. This rehab website from NJ gives details about the SOBA College Recovery which integrates addiction rehabilitation with treatment for coexisting mental health disorders and return to education for young adults.

There are a multitude of options out there – some simple research is sure to find a path right for you.

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This article is not certified medical advice. If you or a loved one is struggling with addiction, please consult your doctor for medical advice about how it is best for you to begin to change your lifestyle.

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