Neko's Fashion Tips For Spring

Uploaded 03/23/2011

It's spring already and a lot of you are wondering - how do I dress up my boyfriend, so that he looks trendy. I know how important it is to keep up with fashion so I'll help you again. But first I'll answer some frequently asked questions.

NEKO MAIL

"Neko, you are so beautiful and your legs are so slim. What do you do to keep your perfect shape?" - Adrian from Albuquerque

Working out is very important. Don't bother with morning jogging or the gym - do someting you enjoy - like tennis or swimming. This way you won't gain weight once you stop working out. Oh, and not eating like a hog helps too.

"Neko, you're such an arrogant bitch. I hate you. You'll never be a respected welder like me and work 70 hours a day. You'll never weld ships together like I do. Love" - Bernadette from Ontario

I like to watch squirrels jump from tree to tree. I could do that for hours. (watching them, not jumping from tree to tree like a squirrel)

"VIAGRA CIALIS BEST PRICES ON THE NET. ORDER NOW AND GET FREE SHIPMENT." Stiff Johnson from Jacksonville

Hahahaha. You said "ship".

Now for the long awaited tips on how to dress your man for this spring. This year Johnny Depp is the trend-setter. The star of Pirates Of The Carribbean, that movie about demons and The Matrix has a very distinctive, non-conformist style. Now hundreds of thousands of people can look as distinctive and non-conformist!

The most important things in building your spring image are the accessories. Which are - the big black dorky glasses, the hat and a gold necklace. Look how much you can do with the rest from here! Take shoes, for example - gold ones would be great.

But it doesn't have to stop on that when it comes for accessories. The importance of wearing a man bag is often underestimated by gentlemen all over the world. During this season, an ecological shopping bag would suit the "I save the planet, derr" hipster look. Huge rings and all kinds of bracelets are encouraged.

As for pants - there's much liberty here. As long as they are torn or look dirty. Or both.

Versace shirt is a must (sorry, girls. You'll have to invest). Now a woman's sweater to finish it up with a bit of "I don't care if they call me a fag. I'm a non-conformist, bitches!" touch.

Once again, I was happy to help.

OMAKE

I received another letter from a girl from Ontario. She says:

"You stupid bitch, I can't afford any of this shit you call fashionable in your blogs. And why are you only giving tips on how to dress your boyfriend, you idiot? What about girls who want to look classy? And I mean girls that work an important job! Like welder girls. And I want something cheap, that I can afford."

I have to agree. Looking trendy yourself is even more important than dressing up your boyfriend! This spring is looking up to movie stars like Johnny Depp, Julianne Moore, Whoopie Goldberg. But what if you can't afford to look like them? Go with a different type of movie look.

For Tyaeda, I propose The Ring. Having a face like from a horror movie, Tyaeda will probably look well in a long white dress, covering her welding scars on the legs. Another good part of the dress are long sleeves. You don't have to show those burn marks from you welding blade practice. Now, go out and find yourself a well.