Jimmy Fallon Says the Tax Bill Is Actually Meant as Punishment

Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. What do you think of it? What else are you interested in? Let us know: thearts@nytimes.com.

‘Payback’

Just before the Senate approved the latest version of the G.O.P.’s tax overhaul late Tuesday, Jimmy Fallon weighed in. He joked that the broadly unpopular bill could be meant as a form of punishment for average Americans.

“It’s very controversial. In fact, I read that a majority of Americans would end up paying more in taxes by the year 2027. Trump said it’s payback for the majority of Americans who voted for Hillary Clinton.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I read that a woman took her top off in the House while protesting the vote. Security escorted her out, while Trump said, ‘Ehh, let’s hear what she has to say!’” — JIMMY FALLON

Seth Meyers With Some New White House Jargon

The Trump administration recently told the Centers for Disease Control that the agency was no longer allowed to use certain words in budget documents, according to The Washington Post. Those words include “fetus,” “transgender” and “diversity.” Seth Meyers pointed out, “In some cases, they even suggested replacement terms. Like instead of ‘science-based,’ they recommend the C.D.C. say, ‘C.D.C. bases its recommendations on science in consideration with community standards and wishes.’”

Then Mr. Meyers said he’d discovered another list of terms the administration wants to replace.

“From now on, coal will be referred to as ‘patriot rocks.’”

“McDonald’s Happy Meals will be called ‘big boy food.’”

“Neo-Nazis will be called ‘fun-time torch boys.’”

“The Civil War will be referred to as ‘the war of good people on both sides.’”

“Hillary Clinton will be referred to as ‘Prisoner No. 92753.’”

“Pandas will be referred to as ‘future coats.’”

“Ivanka will be referred to as ‘Princess Vanilla Breeze.’”

“The F.B.I. will be called the F.B.H.L., the Federal Bureau of Haters and Losers.”

The Punchiest Punchlines (Hanukkah Edition)

“Tonight was the eighth night of Hanukkah. ‘It’s a miracle!’ said Jared Kushner, about not being indicted yet.” — SETH MEYERS

“Disney’s Hall of Presidents finally added a Donald Trump robot to the Hall of Presidents. Yeah, he’s really making an impact at Disney: Today he deported Aladdin and he gave Scrooge McDuck a tax break.” — JIMMY FALLON

The Bits Worth Watching

Desus and Mero were more than ready to relive the painful, unsuccessful confirmation hearing of Matthew Petersen, a judicial nominee whose inability to answer basic questions about legal issues made him a viral sensation.