whoa if true

Shocking New Book Says Steve Bannon Is Asshole, Chris Christie Is Gross

Bad news, everyone! You have a reading assignment. It’s the first major book written about the 2016 campaign (we’re not counting Shattered, the hitjob book about how everything is Hillary Clinton’s fault, because she committed the crime of being Hillary Clinton), and it is called Devil’s Bargain: Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, and the Storming of the Presidency, written by Bloomberg reporter Joshua Green. (We already wrote about it last week, when New York Magazine published an excerpt. But the actual book was released today, therefore we have delicious REVIEWS, chock full of juicy tidbits about the inner workings of the Trump campaign, minus the obvious Russian conspiracy parts.)

New York Timesclimate change denier Bret Stephens calls the book “compulsively readable.” Newsweekcalls it “addictive, if not definitive,” as well as “not especially good” and “you won’t be able to put it down.” Sold! Or not!

As Newsweek explains, much of the book is Steve Bannon’s biography. ZZZZZZ. We’ve been over that before. We know how he brought that special neo-Nazi flavor to Dead Breitbart, and how he groused over sending his kids to school with Jews. We know he once said only property owners should be able to vote. He thinks women who go to good Northeastern colleges are “a bunch of dykes.” He’s a “Leninist” who worked at Goldman Sachs and invested in “Seinfeld” like a common liberal elite, but actually he hates liberal elites, because they all find him pimply and unfuckable. BORING.

But there are other fun nuggets in the book, and The Daily Mail does a really good job of picking them out. For instance, this thing about Donald Trump getting offended by Chris Christie’s gross sticky cell phone on election night makes us want to read the book FAR MORE than Steve Bannon’s history of being a racist sentient badger shart:

Trump was in his War Room on election night when it started to look like he would pull off his shock victory.

The book says that ‘although he was surrounded by friends, aides and family members, there seemed to be a force field around him that discouraged a direct approach’.

Friends started congratulating Mike Pence instead and saluting him as ‘Mr Vice President’.

Trump sat down to ‘absorb the gravity of what was happening’ and a moment later Christie ‘burst through the force field and sat next to him’.

Christie said: ‘Hey Donald. The President talked to me earlier’ – the two had gotten to know each other after Superstorm Sandy. Christie said: ‘If you win he’s going to call my phone, and I’ll pass it over to you’.

Trump ‘flashed a look of annoyance, clearly resenting the intrusion’ and was repulsed by the idea of having somebody else’s phone next to his face.

Aides said that Christie’s move was the ‘ultimate mistake’ and one from which he ‘wouldn’t recover’.

That’s right, because Chris Christie’s phone is probably covered in STINKY SNACK CRUMBS. Anyway, that was allegedly the beginning of the end for Trump and Christie. Of course, as the Mail points out, Jared Kushner ultimately fired Christie, partially because he holds a grudge against him for putting his disgusting criminal dad in prison.

The book also reveals that part of why campaign manager Paul Manafort was fired — aside from how the media was starting to scrutinize all his Russian connections — is that Trump got very upset about a New York Times article that said his campaign was a fuckshow and that his aides had to communicate with him through the TV to get his attention. We thought that was common knowledge, but oh boy, it hurt Trump’s feelings. Here’s Trump screaming at Manafort at his New Jersey Bedminster estate:

Trump shouted at Manafort: ‘How can anybody allow an article that says your campaign is all f***ed up?

‘You think you’ve gotta go on TV to talk to me? You treat me like a baby!

‘Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a f***ing baby, Paul?’

If the onesie fits.

The Daily Beast flags another interesting tidbit from the book. Apparently, despite Trump’s insistence that he won the 2016 election because he was so awesome, his campaign was well aware that the infamous James Comey memo about Hillary Clinton’s “new” emails was a big reason Trump ultimately won. In fact, “some of Trump’s pollsters and data gurus” wrote an internal memo about it:

“The last few days have proven to be pivotal in the minds of voters with the recent revelations in reopening the investigation of Secretary Clinton,” the memo read, according to Green. “Early polling numbers show declining support for Clinton, shifting in favor of Mr. Trump.”

It added: “This may have a fundamental impact on the results.”

Despite Trump’s general awesomeness and the effects of the Comey memo (COUGH! and Russia COUGH!), the book says everybody was still shocked when Trump won. In fact, according to the Daily Beast, the book describes Steve Bannon’s charming final solution strategy for the end of the campaign, and it doesn’t include #winning:

“Our backup strategy,” he said of Clinton, according to Green, “is to fuck her up so bad that she can’t govern. If she gets 43 percent of the vote, she can’t claim a mandate.”

Later, Bannon added: “My goal is that by November 8, when you hear her name, you’re gonna throw up.”

God, he’s such a sweetheart.

Wonkette’s official review of this book is “We haven’t read it yet but if one of our readers wants to buy it for us as a present that’s cool. Or just send us money.”

Wonkette salaries are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

He spends his days deflecting the sad glances of his black lab, Lula, who would please like him to stop typing letters to the internet and throw the squeaky chicken in the backyard instead. Though the internet does not give him credit, it’s probably his fault Aaron Schock is no longer a congressperson, due how Evan would not stay off his tail during the SCANDALS. (Not in a sex way, in a writing way!) Also, he writes songs and plays the piano, at the same time! Lastly, Evan is a Southern person, and thus is casting polite judgment on you, right now, for reading this. Bless your heart.

I just can’t. Normally I love books about campaigns, but in this case, I’d rather read the fucking Twilight series.

AJ Milne

In the next Batman movie, the Joker forces a desperate, terrified room full of hostages to choose between a group reading of this or Gingrich’s 1945.

Snark Tank Full of Resistance

You MONSTER!

Good_Gawd_Yall

I couldn’t watch West Wing during its initial run because I just couldn’t abide anything that even smelled of politics. But once Obama was elected I watched it on reruns and loved it. Maybe by 2025 or so you’ll be able to read this one, which is still a better love story than Twilight.

Three Finger Salute

I didn’t get to see it while it was on either. I’ve found some clips on YouTube and now I want to see the whole show. If only because I can be content with the knowledge that Sam Seaborn ended up becoming the PM of Canada. 😊

This sounds familiar for some reason:
“Funny? You think I’m funny? How am I funny? Am I like a clown to you? Do I amuse you?”

Joe Beese

Republicans spent years calling and voting for repeal-only, secure in the knowledge that Barack Obama would veto it, meaning they would not be forced to grapple with the consequences of it actually happening. Now Trump is demanding that Republicans vote for repeal on the understanding that he would sign it immediately, with no guarantee of any replacement later. Whether he knows it or not, Trump is calling their years-long bluff.

It’s unclear from the reporting why McConnell is pushing this: Perhaps he believes it can actually pass, or perhaps he believes he needs to demonstrate to conservative groups and base voters that straight repeal cannot pass, so that he can move on to negotiations with Democrats over ways to shore up the individual markets without cutting taxes on the rich and dramatically slashing the ACA’s historic coverage expansion. Or perhaps McConnell has some other devious strategy to come back to a repeal vote that we don’t know about.

But whatever his thinking, the upshot of holding this vote, should it fail, will be to reveal that Republicans were never actually willing to repeal the ACA as long as they thought it would never actually happen. The whole thing was a scam all along — Republicans promised to repeal the ACA and replace it with something that did all the good things in it (the coverage expansion; the consumer protections) without the bad (the taxes; the mandates), but they never had any way of doing anything like that.

This would also be a fitting end because it would unmask Trump’s own long-running scam. Trump sent strong signals during the campaign that he is not ideologically in sync with Paul Ryan’s designs on the safety net; he promised not to cut Medicaid; and he vowed “insurance for everybody.” But then Trump and the White House fully embraced an enormously cruel and regressive Ryanesque rollback of the ACA’s coverage gains. They employed endless lies and distortions to cover up their own bill’s true ideological designs. But now that this failed, Trump is demanding a vote on something even more cruel and regressive — full repeal — solely because he is so eager to triumphantly stomp all over something with Obama’s name on it and call that a “win.” That’s all this was ever about, and that is now confirmed.

It’s so cute, the author thinks Republicans are rational and capable of being persuaded by obvious horseshit like facts and logic.

Ryan Denniston

They’re just fucking incompetent at governing. The whole lot of them.

Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

Thankfully

Vagenda and Pee-ara

It would have been political suicide for them to have actually passed their turdburger of a bill. I was surprised they didn’t just give up after the House vote, and say “welp, we tried.” That would have been enough for their idiot voters, who do NOT share their ideology any way. The majority of lower middle class Republicans I know, vote out of pure racism. They don’t vote for Republicans because they think billionaires are overtaxed, and health care should be more expensive. They vote for the GOP because they’re opposed to welfare queens getting free Obamaphones, and Messicans stealing their fruit picking and construction jobs.

Celtic_Gnome

If they passed the repeal and delayed it until 2019, that would make it an issue in the midterm elections. That should work out well for the Republicans.

La forza del resistino

Sec Price is on the record for ‘let’s just go back to 2008 and pretend ACA never happened’.
Bankruptcies, pre-existing declines – good times.
You’re in charge of Health and Human Services idiot.

Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

A man who believes that the government should play no role in either health or helping people is in charge of the Department of Health and Human Services.

Mr. Blobfish

Always bet on the devious strategy.

Ryan Denniston

“Aides said that Christie’s move was the ‘ultimate mistake’ and one from which he ‘wouldn’t recover’”

And now Elaine Chao is Secretary of Transportation.

BreakingDeadMen

Yeah, transportation is really Christie’s natural area of expertise.

therblig

forklift to the helicopter to the limo to his son’s baseball game. i’d say that’s multi-modal

Trump also wouldn’t like the implication that Christie is better connected to Obama, and that Trump can speak with Obama only because Christie is willing to let Trump use his phone.

Come on, that’s really some high school shit Christie. And you should know that Trump is obsessed with the optics and psychology of male dominance, he was never going to use your phone to talk to the President.

Gayer Than Thou

Honestly? I’d probably be annoyed too. I’m the one who just won the presidency (well, “won,” but you get where I’m headed), not you. He can call me, not you.

Persistent Demme

Yep.
Christie somehow didn’t realize that his bullying move backfired because he tried it on someone who’s a bigger bully than he is.

cmd resistor

Well, it’s true I have at least wanted to throw up A LOT since November 8.

It’s only fair since by November 8th Bannon’s face had been making me throw up for years

Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

This is the clearest evidence that they did not expect to win. None of them – Donnie Two Scoops, Bannon, Pence, none of them. It was going to be about destroying Hillary Clinton’s ability to govern and make money off of conservative outrage. That was the plan – a 4-year scam on the rubes. So of course they have no idea what to do – this was not in the plan!

Edith Prickly

Yup. Fucking shit up is easy, governing is haaaard.

Randy Riddle

Gifts from Moscow are really the gifts that keep on giving, aren’t they?

At the rate we’re producing rubes in this country, that is a lofty hope.

calliecallie

If they did not expect to win, that kind of concerns me. Because Putin clearly did intend for Trump to win. So did they not think Putin could pull it off? Did they not know? Because I don’t want the latter. I want them to have known what Putin was up to, to have endorsed it, to have aided and abetted. And then I want them all to go to jail.
So now I have to ask myself if some aspect of this book is intended to sow doubt about what they knew.
I just remind myself of Trump’s statement during the primary about how he could shoot somebody on 5th Avenue and still get the votes. That sounds to me like someone who knows the system is rigged.
Please, Mr. Mueller, I am so tired of waiting. I know you want to be thorough, but can you please give me something to hope for, some tidbit, a teaser for the main event? Please?

cmd resistor

OT, but I went to Trump’s FB page to
see his schedule for the day (seems like a consistent place to find it) and noticed that the Trump campaign hats are 20% OFF! Yay. This is not the official president page, so I suppose it’s ok, I’m sure. Anyway, it is a beautiful schedule.
Daily intelligence briefing
Meeting with National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster
Phone call with Sultan Qaboos bin Said al Said of Oman
Lunch with service members
Cabinet Affairs meeting

President in Exile Firefly

That’s a tough schedule. When does the man ever sleep?

elviouslyqueer

Please. You think he’s actually awake in these meetings?

Snark Tank Full of Resistance

Interesting that they’re blatantly calling his “Fox and Friends” time a “Daily Intelligence Briefing” now.

TundraGrifter

“Cabinet Affairs meeting”

Is Corey still banging Hope Hicks?

cmd resistor

Is that different from a Cabinet meeting, which would require them all to suck up again and say how wonderful it is to work for him?

PubOption

Is Hope Hicks still working for Trump?

TundraGrifter

I believe so. She shows remarkable intelligence by staying below the radar.

calliecallie

I have more meetings than that on my calendar for today, plus an appointment with a therapist and a Tom Petty concert tonight. Geez.

cmd resistor

He’ll probably have to make some stupid remarks at the Lunch thingy about how much he loves the vets.

janecita

I hate you! I wanna see Tom Petty!

arglebargle

I’m going to see a CCR cover band. You win.

Jeffery Campbell

There’s a bathroom on the right….

Dick St. Dipshit

Cabinet Affairs is code for prostate massage.

Mr. Blobfish

Woah! Slow down, Big Fella. You’ll never make eight years at that pace.

Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

Since we’ve established that he has an attention span of about 15 seconds, this covers about 1 1/2 hours of the day.

Gigglesnort

Then a nap. Then watching TV and yelling at it. Then late-night Twitter storm.

Komsumverweigerer Ron

Geez, I’m busier than that most days and I’m retired.

TundraGrifter

“Funny how? What’s funny about it? . . . Let me understand this: Maybe I’m a little fucked up. But I’m funny how? Funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fucking amuse you? What do you mean, funny? How am I funny?

“You said it. You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me what’s funny.”

Trump shouted at Manafort: ‘How can anybody allow an article that says your campaign is all f***ed up?
‘You think you’ve gotta go on TV to talk to me? You treat me like a baby!
‘Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a f***ing baby, Paul?’

Just think how differently things might have turned out if only someone had changed Donnie’s diaper. We all know how tetchy babies get after sitting in their own waste for a few hours.

Ghenghis McCann

How may decades has Donnie been sitting in his own waste?

Bub, Zombie in mourning

Now the whole goddamn country gets to sit in it.

Vincent Ricola

AOTK.

Randy Riddle

“Am I a f***ing baby?”

“Why, yes, you are. Hasn’t anyone bothered to tell you that to your face for the past fifty years?”

Beanz&Berryz

If you have to fucking ask, Donnie ….

Martini Ambassador 🍸

Right?! If somebody had the guts or decency to give Dumbass a little tough love at some point earlier in his life, he might have turned out a bit less of an egomaniacal bastard. Instead, we got stuck with him running for President as the ultimate ego trip and actually winning it because Americans are stupid, our EC is a sham, and Comey and Pooty did a nice job ratfucking all of us.

And this is why, I still fucking hate Comey! Fucking asshole gave us this clown show. I hope that he has apocalyptic nightmares every night, for the rest of his life.

Good_Gawd_Yall

IKR? Seeing him humiliated by Twitler wasn’t enough for me, either. I want him to live a long life with constant regret for his part in utterly destroying this nation.

Vincent Ricola

Yeah. Comey fucked up and redemption is still a long, long, long way away.

Bebecca

there is no possible redemption. We have the republicans in some form for at least the next 3.5 years and all the havoc they will bring to the US and world. he changed the course of history. Even if it’s only Supreme Court justices, we’re doomed.

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

Yeah, I never really understood how everyone’s new, weird crush [looks in Evan’s direction] on Comey when he was testifying synced with the fact that *he fucked us all because he wanted to cover his own ass*.

He could singlehandedly take down Trump (not that he will) and still not break even.

Vagenda and Pee-ara

He did say that he felt nauseous when he realized he helped Trump get elected. Gee, that’s funny, that’s how the rest of us feel, too.

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

Oh not even that: he said he felt nauseous that people might think that the FBI helped get Trump elected. He’d never actually leave his ass uncovered.

Bebecca

and have since 11-9.

BigCSouthside

Without Comey , she wins. End of story

Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

I don’t need a book by a fucking journalist to tell me that Bannon, et al. are fucking criminal scumbags.

Crank Tango

Oh well, you’ll read my four volume set about the wetness of water tho, right?

Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

I’ll put it on the list, I have to finish the book about how Space is large, first.

Jesus *fucking* a Donkey, are there no limits to the arrogance of the media class?

Gayer Than Thou

I feel like this is a trick question…

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

Same. I have about as much emotional need to revisit election night as I do taking a running dive into a bath of razor blades.

Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

If these fucking journalists had been doing their fucking *jobs* rather than being corporate whores, we might not be in this sorry state at this time.

There will be a reckoning, “journalists”. You can fucking *bet* on that.

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

I feel the same, but every time I go back over all that stuff it just sends me into a dark, hateful place. Like the conversation I had with a friend where we basically agreed that Hillary would be president if Bill had dropped dead on January 1st, 2016.

Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

Hate is a good thing. And I sincerely hate the media class in,our benighted nation.

Daniel Hooper

“Juicy summer reading for you!”

Anything involving those two IS bound to be moist. Sweaty, cold, gross, and probably infected, but yes, juicy in a sense as well.

Vagenda and Pee-ara

So the restaurant Koi that was operating in Trump’s Soho Hotel is closing due to lack of business. Gee, I guess pissing off over half of the country isn’t a great business strategy.

P’jama Pahnts

Maybe he kept coming in and showing his ass.

Vagenda and Pee-ara

“Oh, waiter, can you come over here for a minute? I definitely did NOT order the Reagan baby butthole, AND my soup is cold.”

Jeffery Campbell

That’s what happens when you name your restaurant after a inbred, bloated orange goldf…..wait.

Three Finger Salute

Pepperidge Farm libelz!

PubOption

The food was carp.

Jeffery Campbell

For. The. Win!

Nockular cavity

“It’s a carp!”
-Admiral Ackbar

HooverVilles

He’s making up for the loss with all the predisential grifting.

Komsumverweigerer Ron

Bet it isn’t staying in his wallet long. But the question is, is he paying off the principle or just covering the vig?

Wild Cat

“Hey, Chris! Bend over, babe. That’s a good stromboli. I want to show Steve here how this great scene from ‘Deliverance’ went!”

Jeffery Campbell

“Squeal like a pig, boy.”

Anna Rompage

And in other news today, it appears Trump & Tillerson are going to let the State Department’s Office of cyberspace die

“This would mean the United States would be the only major country without a
lead diplomat to discuss cyber norms and trying to reduce the ever-escalating cyberattacks we see around the world.” Not to mention, it will allow Russian & China to become even more prevalent in the cyberscape of the world’s internet…

The only goal that Bannon has achieved is that everyone throws up when they hear Dolt 45’s name. And boy howdy are they sorry they didn’t go out and vote for Hillz.

Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

Not quite yet, Hillary is still the default excuse for Republicans who are embarrassed they voted for Trump. The “corruption” and “lawlessness” and “BENGHAZZIII” and all that.

Vagenda of Rebel Scum

The smarter ones are entering the “I voted for Gary Johnson” phase. In a few more months, it will look like Johnson should’ve won, with all the people admitting they actually voted for him.

TundraGrifter

I don’t think regret has set in among “The Base.” Very base, actually.

Most seem caught in the first stage – Denial.

Carpe Vagenda

I do think, and hopefully they’re as incompetent at setting up their thousand-year reich as they are at everything else so this will make a difference, that a bunch of people who voted for him or stayed home are starting to realize that they’re not the base.

TundraGrifter

I’ll agree with you about those who didn’t vote. Many of those who did are fairly adamantine. As I’ve said before, the truth can’t change their deeply held views, opinions and beliefs because they aren’t fact-based.

Carpe Vagenda

But his rock-bottom number is a lot smaller than the number who voted for him, something that those eternal Trump voter interviews and polls are designed to elide. He didn’t win, and support among the number who held their nose has eroded badly now that they’ve seen how anxious he is to gore their oxen.

I think if the Democrats go through with the initiative to run combat veterans we’ll see some surprising outcomes.

Three Finger Salute

That picture is sure to rile up both of those macho douchebros.

“Why can’t I quit you”?

JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!1111eleven

Les Appentis De la résistance

That book needs a plain brown book cover over it.

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

Bannon. Fuck. This guy would shit on Jesus to make a buck. And Trump would hold him down while his family laughed.

BigCSouthside

So according to WaPo the eighth person at the meeting is ID’d. For those keeping score at home:

1.) son of the candidate, who has done business with Russians
2.) son in law of candidate, who has business with Russians
3.) campaign chair, who was a political operative for Russian interests
4.) Russian attorney with ties to Kremlin
5.) an agent of a Russian oligarch’s son
6.) a Russian American agent with cyber warfare background
7.) an American representive of the Russian oligarch’ company, who are business partners with the candidate
8.) a Russian translator

I’m sure it was an innocent meeting

Carpe Vagenda

and of course anyone the SS might have been protecting at the time so they needed to run the check Sekulow talked about.

So who was getting adopted? Was Junior getting one of those Russian mob tattoos I see in the movies?

Verena Block

I just got the audiobook from Audible. The narrator is the same guy who narrated The Emperor of All Maladies, a book on the history of cancer. He did a great job narrating that book, and I’m sure he’ll do well with a book about this new cancer.

Carpe Vagenda

I’m really peeved that Amazon isn’t letting you lend or give gifts from Audible any more.

kareemachan

They aren’t? Crap.

(not snark, just sad, considering that Amazon is making what’s-his-name the richest man in the world)

MamaBrown

Steal this book. No really. Steal it.

SDGeoff3

Will Trump pay my legal fees if I’m caught?

Nockular cavity

If you punch the book, yes.

Vagenda of Rebel Scum

If Dok or Evan or Your Editrix or 5$F had written it, I’d buy it. I’m on a diet, but not going to make myself barf for some rando author.
Also, I sincerely believe that the 2016 election is going to be remembered as one of the worst disasters in American history. No need to relive it.

JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

IK,R? My liver is already taking a beating.

SomeBigRedDog

I will be re shelving them all in the horror section of my local library.

Reading, not so much. A dogs stomach is only so strong.

JMP

“‘Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a f***ing baby, Paul?’”

Those hands do bare a remarkable resemblance to the ones sticking out of Trumps sleeves.

SeeTrain65

Damn! That child has huge hands in comparison!

Khavrinen

“Shocking New Book Says Steve Bannon Is Asshole, Chris Christie Is Gross”

Is there anything in there about the Pope being Catholic? And where bears go to take a dump?

Pisto75666

Or water being wet? Christmas being in December?

puredog

Fire — Hot? Or not?

SeeTrain65

Or the grass being brown? Or the sky being gray?

Must just be here.

goonemeritus

I need a little time an distance from todays realities before I can immerse myself in such a book. I should be ready during Elizabeth Warren’s second presidential term.

thewalkindude

Well, nobody can be wrong 100% of the time-

According to Mr Green, Mr Bannon flew off the handle when he learned of a Republican plot to install Mr Ryan as the presidential nominee at the 2016 Republican National Convention.

At the headquarters of his far-right publication, Breitbart News, Mr Bannon unloaded on Mr Ryan as a “limp-d**k motherf***** who was born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation,” a conservative think tank.

Zippy W Pinhead

He’s not wrong, lol

Lyly Sirivong

Is this the actual cover ? Because there’s no way I’m inflicting that to fellow commuters.

puredog

Brown paper jacket.

Manhattan123

“You think you’ve gotta go on TV to talk to me? You treat me like a baby! Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a fucking baby, Paul?’”

Correction: a fat fucking baby.

Notreelyhelping

Did they cut the part where he beats his brains in with a baseball bat? Cause that’s what I remember about that scene. And something about enthusiasms.

Maureen

Different scene, but same idea.

whitroth

So he actually didn’t intend, or expect, to win. And he actually had a moment, towards the end of election night, where he realized just how deep he’d gotten himself in – not along the shore, but 1000km in the North Atlantic….

But his ego rose to the occasion… and he’s peddling like mad, because he knows when he goes down, it’s gonna be for, like, 250 years in jail….

TX Dept. of Space Tacos

“‘Am I like a baby to you? I sit there like a little baby and watch TV and you talk to me? Am I a f***ing baby, Paul?’

Ah, I see the problem, Trump learned outrage from Joe Pesci’s character in Goodfellas.

Maureen

Yes! You think I’m a clown? You find me amusing? There’s a Goodfellas moment for just about everything. I never get sick of it.

Ωbjectifier

When can we start playing Layla?

Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

I thought exactly the same thing. He is Joe Pesci’s character, only without the charm, skills, and abilities.

That scene about Christie’s phone reminds me of the time Christie tried to get into a group hug in Jerry Jones’s press box after the Cowboys scored and got a stiff arm.

Dudleydidwrong

Christie is always and forever the insecure, often shunned fat kid who can’t get respect but can’t stop trying. The child is still the father of the alleged man.

If he’d accept reality I’d have some sympathy for him. He can’t; I don’t.

Sid Pevear

I want to know why we are not hearing more about Cambridge Analytica and the Mercers. It seems that these people are the catalyst for this entire attack on our democracy. The Mercers and the DeVos are in this neck deep.

Glitterboots

Agree. Major news outlets should have good investigative reporters on this.

So, is the takeaway, here, that Trump didn’t really want it, Bannon didn’t expect Trump to get it, but everyone was just interested in fucking over Hillary Clinton? I don’t know why I should be surprised to find that was the fucking goal, but here we are…

SeeTrain65

“Damn it, Bannon! What did you get me into?”

“Don’t worry, sir. We can make up for it by using the office to enhance your meager wealth … I mean, your INCREDIBLE WEALTH!”

Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

Well, it’s all about misogyny and always was, wasn’t it? The “She’s a Cunt” t-shirts were a bit of a hint.

Querolous

Since Obama could not run again, by bashing Hillary he was bashing Obama’s surrogate. Misogyny was a bonus.

Glitterboots

Just look at the video of him and his family at Trump Tower as they watched the returns. First, nobody looked happy (especially the Melania-bot), second, and really creepy, was he was standing behind a seated Ivanka, NOT Melania, clutching her shoulders. Ivanka was clearly his comfort pillow as he absorbed bad and terrifying news. And she continues to be.

Wes

I almost feel bad for Christie. He bounds over to Trump like a happy energetic puppy and ol Donald punts him out of his inner circle.

Almost.

Glitterboots

Right. He was hilarious on Nicolle Wallace’s show yesterday, defending Trump like a lovestruck kid. She was incredulous at his loyalty. Christie is a putz.

451 Byrnes

Well, we all know what happened to Big Pussy…

Lefty Wright

The minute I heard about the letter Comey sent to congress saying he was reopening the Clinton email investigation, I thought that doomed Clinton. Yet even today, most people claim it had little effect. It looks like the Trump campaign shares the same opinion as I do, though. While I did not want to see Comey fired, I think history books will show him as the biggest and last factor leading to a Trump presidency. And that the Trump presidency was the start of the U.S. falling from preeminence in the world to just another player. Sort of like the decline of the British Empire after WW II.

Celtic_Gnome

So, Donnie fired Manafort because the press reported his campaign was a fuckshow and his staff had to communicate with him through the teevee.

Why hasn’t he fired Rince Pubis for the same reason?

Ankyloglossia

I think he believes Pubis has more power since he was head of the GOP. When the republican party falls apart, Pubis will be gone.

Frank Underboob

* “Rinsed Pubis”

Pat_Pending

Even though I’ve read other accountings of the shit show, Evan’s throbbing prose is still my favorite rendering.

Toledo Window Box

Yes, you are a baby, Donald.

Frank Underboob

With that cover, if I saw someone reading on the train, I’d assume that they were into Nazi slash fiction.

ryp

Interesting that the fucking baby had no problem firing flunkies during the campaign, but since he’s occupied the White House he hasn’t fired anyone close to him, even though we are told regularly one or another of his toadies is on their way out.