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Monday, July 6, 2009

My friend Kelly and I have a running joke that I should never say, “That’s my plan.” It gets me in trouble all the time. I’ll look at a situation, find the best possible scenario and make it my plan… and then it all inevitably goes to hell in a hand basket. So now we think about the best possible scenario and decide that it sure would be nice, but declare emphatically that I’m totally not planning on it.

Because if it’s a plan… it’s not happening.

After my whole episode of waking up in the kind of pain that made it so I couldn’t walk, I really believed I had been through the worst of it. I made the mistake of having a plan somewhere in the deepest recesses of my brain of how this latest setback was going to right itself, and was positive I’d be on an upswing in no time.

I’m sure you can guess how that’s been turning out.

This past weekend went swiftly to the aforementioned hell in a hand basket, and I think it’s safe to say Saturday was one of my worst days ever. I won’t bore you with the details, but I will say I have no doubt now this is going to be a long road of getting back to my normal self. Or, at the very least, establishing a new normal for myself. Patience and fortitude are going to be my new mantra.

In the midst of all this, I sat here thinking about how grateful I am to have started this blog last year. I really just wanted to see if I still had it in me to write, but now I think it actually took off like it did – and all of you found me here – because I would need this to keep me going in times like these. I would need it to keep me mentally motivated and participating, even when I physically can’t, and even if it is at a different pace.

So, this sporadic schedule of posting is probably going to go on for quite awhile because I’m not making any plans [even in the quiet thoughts of my own head] as to how these next several months are going to go. I know the road I’m on, but I’m still trying to figure out how the heck to walk down it. So I’m going to deal with what comes as it comes, and I’m going to come here to what feels like my reprieve as much as I can to talk to you all. And tell you some stories. And answer questions. And keep myself connected to the outside world. And make sure you don’t forget this nose:

Because really, who could live without that nose?

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

And it’s good to remember that in the midst of all of life’s insanity there’s always good stuff, too.

Like the fact that Mom and Dad came for a visit on Friday afternoon, and I put them to work with some heavy lifting. Part of me wanted the couches moved around because of the “different decorating” philosophy I talked about in my last post, but mostly it was because I discovered my flowered couch was a lot more comfortable for me right now. It has one long seat cushion, is more firm and has higher arms to lean against… all of which makes it easier for me to get up and down and is more comfortable for my ribs when I’m sitting up. You’d think cushiony would be better, but I’ve learned it’s not so great to “sink into” furniture.

But I digress… the point here is that I took before and after photos per your request! I have to tell you, it feels like I got all new furniture because the switch makes my house look so different.

Here’s my red room before:

And the red room after:

Riley wasted no time testing out his new couch position: “Seriously, woman… all this decorating is getting out of hand… will you just leave well enough alone already?”

Here’s the piano room before:

And the piano room after:

And here’s a shot just so it makes sense why I call it the piano room:

I now think I’m officially done redecorating/rearranging, which is probably a good thing. I actually had the thought pass through my mind to paint over my wall of doodles when I get stronger and change that up, but I think I would totally regret that impulse. Best I quit while I’m ahead and just enjoy the comfort of my “new” couch, don’t you think?!?!?

Sometimes just small changes can make such a big difference. Of course, moving couches is not a small change. How wonderful for you to be able to make changes that help your comfort to some degree.

Do you ever read other folks' blogs? I've been fascinated with the "not quite words" that some of the blogs require to post. I kept a list for a while but then it was lost when my computer shut down unexpectedly. I've begun saving them again. Eventually i might turn them into a funny story or just create definitions for them. If i could do poetry it might turn out like the Jabberwocky. But i don't do poetry. I'd forgotten about Jabberwocky until recently when i came across it when searching for something else.

There is not much point to that last paragraph. Just thought it might amuse you. :)

As i've said before, my limitations (& pain particularly) are not as extreme as yours. But i do tend to devalue myself because of the limitations. Other folks seem to have so much more energy & can do so much more . . . if i just pushed myself harder? Today's scripture at church was a good reminder for me. It was 2 Corinthians in the 12th chapter. Where Paul states he begged to have his affliction lifted but was told, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." And more. I know that you don't need to be told this Sara, & i'm not preaching at you, but i found it comforting. I thought you might, as well.

I continue to pray for you. Pray that this will be lifted from you & that you continue to have such grace to face it.

Thanks for the perspective on "planning on it." I sometimes get caught in that "it has to happen because I said/thought it was going to happen" mode. As always, my prayers are with you and we think/talk of you often. Take care. Doug

...unrelated note. ;) Dziezdic and his wife, Jen, had a baby girl last week! I'll forward pictures when I get them. Hopefully, the girl will look like her mommy. :)

PLEASE don't paint over your doodle wall--I love it! Hope your new furniture arrangement brings you more comfort!I think we grow up thinking we can plan the future, but in realitym no one can truly make those plans! Making the best of our situations is all we can do. And, you go beyond that with your inspiration for others. You are a real blessing to all who read this blog!!

I am pretty sure I could live without that nose, but the eyes and ears are just too cute to pass up! Could Riley have any idea just how darn cute he is? I wonder.

I love your new arrangement of furniture the whole look of your home. We seem to have very similar decorating tastes. The rich wall colors are fabulous.

I heard a saying once that I'm sure you've heard or at least thought before...If you want to make God laugh, make plans. I think if we set our hearts on our plans being whatever it is that God has planned for us, we will always be happy.

Love you new arrangement, and so sorry to hear you had such a rough weekend! Oh and the wall of doodles...that is so cool. You should only paint over it if you plan to just start with a blank slate and begin again with new doodles. I would LOVE to be talented enough to make one of my own!

It does look TOTALLY different! I'm starting to drool just thinking about rearranging... Thanks for taking photos for us. I am always so happy to wake up and find you here when you do a post, but this new schedule works too! The randomness keeps me on my toes ;) I hope today is a bit better than yesterday and the day before, but there is no plan, I promise! Whatever it takes to lessen your symptoms and pain just a bit! Hugs to you and Riley pup!

You have such an inviting looking home, which is not surprising, as you are such an inviting, warm, sweet person. Wish I was living in Iowa so I could come and visit and give you a hug and let my kids play with Riley! :)

Love the rearranging ... makes life fresh, doesn't it! Any kind of rearranging makes life fresh!

I love how rearranging furniture actually seems to release some energy that has stored up in the old arrangement. It could be just moving one table or everything, energy seems to be released. I LOVE THAT! I hope you have a similar effect, and that it will promote your healing. Take care.

Love the new arranging! And I love the new no plans path your on. I pray for this path to be full of good things for you Sara...love and hugs and I COULD NOT live without that nose...his picture is on my fridge even as we speak!

All your rooms have a warm, inviting, look to them. I love the wood tables. The antique piano adds the perfect touch to the room.

The decorating gene is clearly feminine, and turned off in most guys. I have lived in my condo 20 years. All my furniture is in the places as when I first moved in. I could live in a cave as long as it had a bed, TV and PC.

Riley does have a cute nose. How does it feel on a cold winters night? :)

Your home looks beautiful and I'm so glad you find ways to make it work with you and for you. I have no imagination and can't figure out how to move anything to where it would work better/differently.

I am so sorry to hear about this weekend and all that you've been through. I always say I don't know how you do it but then, I always mean it. You are an amazing woman to just keep movin' on. I would love to run your post with how much blogging has meant to you and how it keeps you going. So many people criticize the blogging time spent and never stop to think of the beautiful therapy, ministry, encouragement, friendship, etc. it is to SOOOO many of us. Thank you for highlighting it so well.

Sometimes a small change works wonders for the soul. Saying a prayer for improvements. You did it the smart way - a few changes. We're going to empty the house and then take up the carpet and paint the floors. Good news is one of the daughters wants to put it back in and do the decorating.

Note to Riley: Snuggle up and give Sara a hug from me and my two dust mops.

Hi Sara,LOVE the redecorating!! The flowered couch looks great in your red room! I'm glad that you had some visitors to help you w/ the heavy lifting. I'm really praying that things ease up for you. I truly wish that I lived closer so that I could get to know you even better. But, so glad that we met in blog world. You truly are a blessing to everyone you meet. Praying for you, friend.

I love it that you never seem to have any fear. I have a chronic pain problem, not as bad as yours. But I can't exercise, and am very limited in how many hours I can be up in a day. Today I did too much and had a bad reaction, and it scared me. I guess I'm afraid it might indicate another, serious problem. It calms me to read your blog. Thank you.

I LOVE that the pup is on your fridge. :) Every time I give him one of those treats you sent I tell him, "You're lucky Robin loves you." Now all I have to say is "Robin" and he starts wagging his tail!

Thanks for the kind words, Robynn... and you're welcome to reprint it if you like. I can't imagine getting through all this or the past year without all of you. I know you all say I help you, but it really is the other way around.

he was fine... we're far enough away that we only heard a couple of "pops." He perked up at one point, thinking someone was at the door, but that was it. All I see out my windows are garages, so it wasn't like we were near them or seeing lights or anything. We just had a normal night of relaxing on the couch :-D

omgosh! *I* would be sad if you painted over your wall of doodles! I don't even know all of what it says, but I love that you have it!

And I'm not sure why, but everytime I see a picture of that flowered sofa, I love it. It's strange, but I love it. I think I like the style of it...not exactly the floral print (although I strangely like that too) but the shape of it.

huh. haha! anyway, I love you friend, and you've actually been on my mind every single day of our trip.... I miss you. :*

About Gitz

Sara 'Gitz' entered into the arms of her Heavenly Father on September 24, 2011 at the age of 38 years old. She was a girl who used to write for a magazine to make a living, and then started a blog to make a life. Gitz taught us that choosing joy came from focusing on our blessings and those things that we are grateful for in life. Laura 'Jo', Sara's sister is now honoring Sara's legacy by continuing her discipleship and teaching others what joy can do in their lives. Sara and Laura hope you find something on here that makes you smile or makes you think. Or both.