Dead Cert

2010

The Movie

London gangsters get more than they
bargained for when a group of businessmen make an offer to buy their club,
the Inferno. They turn out to be Vampires, wanting their
land back and turn on the gangsters when their demands are not
met.

Review

"It's a cross between lock stock and from dusk till dawn but its not that
great. Its a ok movie but is let down by some bad acting and poor set pieces.
The sfx is good but not great and there is no exploding vampires when they
get steaked. I don't think the budget could reach that far. The main saving
grace it that its all tongue in cheek, but that get a bit tiresome by the
end". - Brian De Guelle, Rotten Tomatoes

"I saw this film getting its premier at the Frightfest film festival in
Central London and I'm amazed that I stayed till the end without walking
out. It's really that poor. The premise seemed interesting and I liked
the idea of a vampire film based in London. It started off OK but rapidly
tailed off by the middle, and the last half hour it just seemed that nothing
happened but people wriggling around on a dancefloor in a nightclub as
the vampires took over. No tension, no gore, NO HORROR. And also no naked
flesh which is somewhat surprising seeing that most of the film is set
in a strip club. And maybe I've watched Blade too many times but I expect
my vampires to melt / dissolve / explode when they're soaked in holy water
or staked through the heart, not just fall over and die. I feel guilty
this being critical as I really want to support UK films wherever possible,
but this really needed a more cohesive storyline, a vastly better script
and sharper editing. Sorry." - J. Crane, Amazon