An urgent update from the St Neots Citizen! Undercover reporter Neskin Gonzales managed to catch up with local celebrity Joey Cambridgeshire in St Neots this week. Cambridgeshire did not want to be filmed, so Gonzales selotaped his iPhone to the bottom of his face, and pretended it was an ironic goatee.

Apologies for blurriness and smaller than usual size – it was UNDER COVER. I JUST told you that.

Citizen Editor

The Citizen Editor lives in Citizen Towers, on the town’s luxurious Westside. Rumoured to be nearly thirty, he has claimed to be 23 for the last few years and is currently also a grotty tax-dodging student.

His hobbies involve upsetting small villages and repeatedly giving up smoking. He drinks approximately a gallon of tea every day.