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Friday, January 06, 2012

Lots of posts end up in draft and then I ramble

The shear amount of posts that I have in draft would probably fill a book nicely. I put things in draft for lots of reasons, too whinny, too angry, too offensive to the norm, not applicable to this blog. But I can't just delete them. At this rate I will be blogging until I die, and at least my boys will have all this to read to see how messed up I was/am and can be used as a forewarning for their mental state as they age.

I adore my boys. Like any parent, I do get pushed and pulled and wish they would be quiet at times. Or at least go outside to scream at each other. 17 well behaved kids boggles my mind. Because I have 3 defiant ones. I have known several people that have lost their kids. I worry about that sometimes, because of society's hyper sensitivity to the abnormal, I worry that in this public blog my kids come across as being dirty all the time. Small being the most active outside does require a good scrubbing nightly, and just about all his pictures look like he is eating dirt. But that's him. Large no longer enjoys the constant dirt, and requires only a mud bath once maybe twice a month in the summer. Medium, well he is between the two. And to be completely honest, I know we smell of wood smoke and soil. No, not dirt, that is a different smell. But we don't perfume ourselves as so many other people do. And we have been stained over the years with soil.

I have had a lot on my mind lately, hence the quiet of this blog.

I have been busy too with other things. I have been keeping the mundane part of the homesteading life going at an easy clip. I have been selling my blood (now that my tats and piercings are old enough to allow me to do that), gathering cans and scrap metal, and attempting to find a buyer for my calves that are actually willing to pay what they are worth rather than what the market price wants of weight. And I did something I thought I would never do, sold ad space on 2 of my older posts (I feel dirty). I can see the quizzical look on your face. We are not in any financial distress. Husband and I are close to earning what we had been before the lay off, minus the insurance and other perks that come along with working for a major company. With the Milo find, the feed and money stress is gone, thank goodness. Come spring I hope to be able to start milking again.

No, I am doing all this to raise seed capitol for the business I will be opening. The timing I guess was wrong. I wanted to sell off some of the cattle for seed money, but could only get half what they were worth (except for X) and then had to turn around and buy hay for them at the insanely high price. I can't sell them all off, the cows are Husband's retirement. I have mentioned before that I worry about him. The truth is, he has needed knee surgery for 10 years now. The doc told him he was too young to have it done. But now that he is closer to the appropriate age, there is no way we can afford to do it. I know that he will not be able to work in the next few years. And this business venture is my plan B. Some day I would like to open a type of homestead dude ranch or vacation school, however the money required is triple what I am doing now. So that dream will wait for me.

What am I doing now? Well sending you off blog should have been a clue. No reason to hold it completely secret right now, as soon you will be seeing more about it. I am opening a motorcycle shop with a very good family friend. And before one of my sometimes readers completely freaks out, over reacts and takes this wrong, Husband is not leaving the shop he is at. He has worked way too long and hard to get that shop the reputation it now has. But I am keeping secret who I am opening the shop with. The main reason is that he is well known in the technical side of the industry. And he will have is coming out party, so to speak, later. Things look really good already. We have agreements with shops out of State that are wanting to ship bikes to us for his tech know-how, and many are wanting him to come to them to train their techs. So even if we don't get the local work, which I highly doubt that will happen, we have plenty of regional work to keep us busy. It is just that stupid seed capitol that has slowed everything down. Well, now you know. And you know that besides homesteading, motorcycles and cooking are major passions of mine.

Right now we are watching some cartoon, boys are eating their breakfast, well Small and Medium are, Large has already gone off to school. Netflix really needs a better family selection on their instant streaming.

Small is doing wonderfully at school. The extra help has really helped him blossom. Strangers can actually understand what he is saying now. And he is always so proud of himself, which in turn makes me giddy. Have I said I adore my boys? Of course I have. Medium is in an odd angst type place in his life. I actually found myself telling him if he didn't like it, then he needed to start a union. I guess I was a bit annoyed with him. It's frustrating that he refuses to do school work, but when he is tested he is in the top 2% in the nation. Large tests that high as well, and with the extra help, Small is rapidly gaining, he is now in the top 20% with all indications that he will not be plateauing there. ok enough bragging on my kids. I am just very proud of them, but sometimes, smart kids can be a pain. They assume they are smarter than you in everything. Sometimes mommy has to pull a trick out just to show them they still have a ways to go. But they do humble to Husband who sees the world in straight lines and circles.

One thing that gets to me is Large's accusations about if we were so smart, why are we poor? Then we have to get into the discussion of choices. I'm too insecure to chase down a book deal, and Husband made a choice to do something he loves rather than something he didn't. Sometimes things happen beyond your control, and you have to fight to get back where you were. I don't think Large has fully grasped that yet. He still thinks of the world in things.

I have a few things to do today.

The typical winter weather is fast approaching. January and February are our harshest times of year (also August, but that's a different harsh). I have to finish up our business proposal, that always seems to be changing, I need to stock up on noodles, meaning I have to make them. Oh and the boys made a New Years Resolution on my behalf. Desserts every night. So I have been playing with healthier treats, they can't have chocolate every night.

My youngest son is the same way. Hates to do do homework, but scores off the charts and get 100 on every test. He makes the argument that if he already knoes it, why should he have to do the homework and study? I suppose I cant argue with him...I just tell him that it has to be done and life isnt fair!

I was just thinking about what your son said about being poor. We always say we're broke, not poor. Broke is a temporary financial state, poor is a state of mind. You guys aren't poor, just broke for now. Besides, when you have a lot of stuff, you become a slave to it. I see it with my brother. They have every brand new gadget and gizmo known to man, flat screen TVs in every room, all the kids have iPhones, etc, they're over their heads in debt and he works about 80 hours a week to pay for it and now he's having serious health problems because of it. A bunch of heart stents, needs back surgery and his stress level is through the roof but he can't afford to stop working. It's not worth it.

I think saying we are broke would confuse the situation a bit. We do have cash on hand, and we are below poverty level. Not ashamed of our situation, and we plan on changing it, actually we have been changing it slowly.

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About Me

I am a death metal homesteader. Or so I jokingly refer to myself.
I have been cooking since I could reach the stove, homesteading on 5 acres in Kansas for 11 years and on the back of a bike for the last 15 years.
Recently we left the Great Plains to start a new life in the Appalachian foothills. Living completely off grid.
I freelance write for a variety of ezines and paper rags. The topics I like to cover are rather eclectic, as is my life.