The Death Of Modesty

1 Peter 3:1-4, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart,…”

Today I commit blog suicide.

I am marking this date down on my calendar. Sunday, September 25, 2011. I am going to circle it in red. For me, in terms of any aspirations that I might have ever had to write on the public stage, this day will go down as my day of infamy. In this note I am going to do the unthinkable. I am about to step off the precipice of an irreparable social media mistake. Today, I will be polarizing. Today, you will either love it or hate it. Today, there will be no middle ground. Today, I am about to turn the big guns on my most faithful and loyal readers. Today, my full attention is fixed on the women in my audience. I wish there was another way. But someone needs to say it and it might as well be me.

Chaste. It’s a very interesting word in the original language. It literally means to be free from defilement or impurity. There is a very real sense in which the word has a “virginal” meaning. That is to say, it is a word that is concerned with innocence, modesty, and purity. Part of the idea in this specific text is that a woman through her lifestyle should excite her man not to lust but to reverence. That’s right. Her conduct, her conversation, her very character should move her husband (as well as all men in her life) to devotion. In other words, when men see her their first and foremost thoughts should be of God.

Having said that, let’s give this verse some practical consideration for a few minutes. Over the years I have watched with growing alarm the manner in which cultural styles have becoming increasingly accepted in the church. Plunging necklines. Form fitting dresses. Push-up bras. Tight shorts. Skirts that climb higher and higher with each passing year. Bikinis that have less cotton than a q-tip. Understand, I’m not talking about the world. I’m talking about the church. Sunday morning service and church outings to be specific. Modesty among women is becoming a rapidly growing problem as the pornification that plagues this nation continues to seep into the church.

Ladies, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for looking good. I’m all for looking your best. I am not saying that you need to start wearing full-length potato sacks. But I do want to point us back to the Bible. God’s standard has been and always will be modesty. Chaste behavior is the goal. These days it seems like many women are doing just the opposite. Here’s a news flash for you… Want men to stop staring at your breasts? Stop doing so much to draw attention to them. Low cut shirts and a necklace that falls right at the apex of your cleavage? Really? Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the problem. Bottom line? If you are going to dress like a prostitute, don’t be surprised when men treat you that way.

Today, I want to make an appeal today to my sisters in Christ. I want to be a voice for a return to sanity and sanctity in the Church. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! Dress like a child of the King. When you look in the mirror stop measuring yourself according to the standards of this world. It ain’t about your hair or your bling or making sure that everyone knows about your natural endowments. The Bible says that true beauty is not external. No!!! A thousand times… NO!!! True beauty is that hidden person of the heart. So many women end up in bad marriages because they were too busy trying to impress the wrong guy. If it takes a certain style of dress to catch him, then you are fishing in the wrong pond. God says that a man worth marrying understands that real value is found in character and godliness. The right guy is not looking at your legs. He is considering your heart.

And so, it comes down to this. Are you living according to God’s standard? Is your behavior chaste? I want to challenge all of the women reading this today (if you have made it this far without hitting the “delete” button yet) to take an honest look in the mirror. What does your husband see when he looks at you? What do other men think when they look at you? Are you exciting them to lust or are you exciting them to greater love for God?

AMEN!!! Couldn’t have said it any better. Modesty is so under-rated but is a precious thing in the eyes of the Lord, I believe, and you’re so right about fishing with the wrong bait/in the wrong pond. I so hope many younger ladies/girls read this and take it to heart. It really matters, and makes a difference. As you say, if you dress like a prostitute how can you expect to be respected? THANK YOU for having the courage to say this!

Amen…here’s a great perspective on modesty from a guy’s perspective… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVMZoZoKT-o “YouTube – What Guys Think About Modesty.” Girls should remember that it’s not just what they wear, it’s how they wear it (how they carry themselves) that determines whether they are being modest. Well written :o)

I just read this today and want to say thank you. My husband and I pastor a church with many beautiful godly women who dress accordingly. However, it is always a continual process of teaching to the youth and new people coming in. Part of the problem, as I see it, his Pastors and leaders are not willing to take a stand for fear of losing people and money. Thank you for taking a stand.

Thank you for taking the time to post your response. I spent almost 2 decades as a pastor and I agree wholeheartedly. Leadership needs to “lead” the way with regard to the entire issue. That means both preaching and demonstrating through personal example. God bless you and your husband in your ongoing work for the Lord.

When you go shopping at the mall, you’ll see store display windows filled with the best, most attractive or alluring merchandise they have for sale. The idea is to lure the customers in to see more of whatever it is that the store has to offer. Ladies (and guys, too!) – how we dress is OUR display window. It advertises who we are and what we have to offer. So, what are you selling?

As a Christian, I disagree with this. Not every woman in a short skirt, short shorts, or a bikini is dressing like a prostitute as one of the commentators said. That’s ridiculous. If a man cannot control his thoughts, eyes, or actions around a woman who shows cleavage, the problem is his, not hers. If a man treats a woman badly it’s because her low self-esteem allows it. And as for husbands looking at other women, who cares, if that’s all they are doing. I am betting the women that agree with you don’t have the bodies for short skirts, etc. and are jealous of women who do. Godliness comes from within. And for the woman who asked, “What about the men that have wives who dress modestly & are good Christian women but constantly look at other women who aren’t like that?” How would you know they aren’t good Christian women? Did you ask them? Or does your mind measure their Christianity by the length of their hemlines? If you husband is looking at other women, look inside yourself! I go to an Episcopal church, and yes, there are girls in mini skirts, short tops, etc. Our priest’s wife wears pants that are very tight – but good for her; if you got it, flaunt it. At least our church is filled each Sunday! God cares about the condition of your heart, not the length of your skirts.