Elizabeth Davies: Church attire about comfort and respect

Friday

Mar 26, 2010 at 12:01 AMMar 26, 2010 at 5:08 PM

I looked at the teenagers sitting before me, their hair scraped in messy ponytails. I took in their hoodie sweat shirts, and noticed the holes in their designer sweat pants. How casual, I wondered, is too casual for church?

Elizabeth Davies

I looked at the teenagers sitting before me, their hair scraped in messy ponytails. I took in their hoodie sweat shirts, and noticed the holes in their designer sweat pants.

How casual, I wondered, is too casual for church?

The idea of a “come as you are” church is a fairly new one. Certainly, it wasn’t that way when I was a kid. I remember ripping off my Sunday dress and tights the minute I got home. My husband has vivid memories of his shiny Sunday shoes.

We weren’t even allowed to wear blue jeans at my private grade school. Our shirts required collars, and the boys’ hair couldn’t touch the collar in the back. Girls were allowed one earring per ear, but it couldn’t be larger than a quarter. No one could wear shorts — a rule that plagued the boys in warm weather — and every girl in the place knew to kneel if the length of her skirt came into question.

Now, I’m not saying that was the perfect dress code. And already, I don’t hold my young children to the “Sunday dress” standard that we followed so many years ago.

I like that people don’t feel they need to keep up with the trendsetters when they go to church. I understand the value of making church a place where people feel comfortable.

But what I don’t like is the idea that churchgoers don’t feel compelled to show God a level of respect through their dress. If those sweat-pants-wearing girls couldn’t afford nicer clothing, that would be one thing. But based on the going rate of their trendy sweats, I can guess that they put more effort into how they look when they meet up with their friends on a Friday night.

Shouldn’t God be worth a little of that effort as well?

It is ironic, perhaps, that I make this argument. A little more than a year ago, I surprised my husband when I told him I was looking for my “dress sneakers.”

“What, exactly, are dress sneakers?” he wanted to know.

“My nice ones,” I answered. “The ones I wear to church.”

In my defense, I was nine months pregnant at that point and probably couldn’t wedge myself into heels even if I had wanted to waddle through an icy parking lot in them. I think there should be special footwear allowances for oversized pregnant women.

Most of the time, however, I probably overdress for church. To me, it displays a level of respect — that I’m not just dedicating an hour or a morning to church, but that I prepared myself ahead of time to look nice.

In spite of myself, I know that churches aren’t the place for judgment, particularly on such trivial details as clothing. At the same time, it’s up to adults to teach respect and reverence. Maybe that means sloppy Saturdays but button-up Sundays. Or understanding that the strappy dress you wear on Saturday night doesn’t have a place on Sunday morning.

This isn’t an issue of who does not belong in a place of worship — it’s a matter of what does not belong there.

If it’s not good enough for a date, a friend or a boss, then it really shouldn’t be good enough for God.