Does Anyone Really Eat Ribbon Candy?

by krista on March 27, 2009

Whenever James returns from visiting his parents in Northern Virginia I get scared. When returning from trips related to a gift-giving event such as Christmas or a birthday, I become even more frightened. I have a low tolerance for useless crap and clutter. If I had my way, it wouldn't enter the front door because once it has crossed the threshold you know it's stuck in the apartment for life (or until I move).

It's one thing to lug home lamps and potholders sourced from stores like Home Goods or the back section of Marshalls that looks just like Home Goods, but in some ways the oddball cast off food is even worse. Monday night I was faced with the following:

¾ of a white fruit-topped cake from Giant (I tried a slice because I can't resist desserts in the house and the damn thing was 85% whipped cream, 10% dry cake, 5% flavorless fruit…so disappointing)2 packages of Oscar Meyer bacon4 pounds of powdered sugar (have you ever heard of Holly brand?)2 bananas1 Chick-fil-A spicy chicken sandwich1 Chick-fil-A waffle fries1 packages of Vortman sugar free Almondette cookies1 bag of Barcel pork rinds (a Mexican brand)1 2.25 pound bag of Sun Maid raisins1 bottle of V81 tray of Costco sweet rolls1 pound of Costco butter6 assorted Kashi TLC bars18 extra large eggs1 bag of stale looking cookies with lots of German and Russian words (The only English reads Ginger “Lux” cookies. These look to be a product of Moldova imported to Brighton Beach. I imagine these were purchased during a trip to Brooklyn, forgotten about, and now repatriated. 1 box of hard ribbon candy (about as foul a treat as candy corn, but it certainly is pretty)

So many abnormal sizes and peculiar brands, half probably past their expiration dates. EVen my cat is baffled. One would say that this bounty definitely provides a window into the psyche of the givers.

I was happy for the Chick-fil-A items, though, since those were specifically bought for me somewhere in Maryland. Now that I look at it, most of the non-sweet items are useful. I'm still not touching the unappealing cookies, candy, cake or the powdered sugar. I can't even recall the last time I used confectioner's sugar and I don't see any glazing or frosting in my future either. If only I could go a little re-gifting of my own.

Hey, looks like goodies to me … well mostly. The Mexican chicharones could be a find, if they are fresh.

Holly Sugar has plants in California; they mainly produce for the food service industry. Confectioners sugar tastes the same as regular sugar, it’s just ground finer. They put in a tiny amount of corn starch (3%) to keep it from caking, so it looks a little cloudy when dissolved. I had some extra confectioner’s sugar and used it in canning.

Ribbon candy comes in different flavors, with cinnamon and clove traditional. Clove may be a problem for some. It also is made with peppermint and other flavors. I like ribbon candy.