To My Very Best (Childless) Friend

I miss you. Alot. Like really, really miss you. Having two kids to your none really changes the dynamic of things. I used to pride myself in my awesome ability to call people back. Remember when I used to call you back? Like within twenty-four hours? Those were the days.

We haven't talked in months, or seen each other in even more months. I have a secret to confess--sometimes, when you call me, I ignore your call. Actually, that happens a lot of the time. Because I know there is no way in hell I will be able to finish a sentence, nevermind a whole conversation and I remember being childless and not understanding that. Let me just tell you how a conversation with me would play out:

Me: HI

You: HI, How are you?

Me: I'm good, you know busy with the kids. What's that buddy? You have to poop? Ok, let me know when you are done. What was I saying?

You: Just wondering what's new with you?

Me: Not much, I mean, you know the kids are...Oh, you are done? Ok, I'm coming. Hold on one second. Yes, I'm coming to wipe you. Ok, what did you just ask me?

You: What's new, I asked you...

Me: Nothing really. I don't know how we can not talk for 6 months and nothing can be new with me. How bout you?

You: Well, I just went to...

Me: ANIMAL! Stop climbing up there, you are going to fall. Sorry, what were you saying?

You: Just that I just went on vacation to...

Me: ANIMAL! No hitting! I know you are mad that you can't climb on the stove, but stop hitting your brother! Ok, what was that, childless, quiet and relaxed friend??

That was like a 2 minute snippet of our conversation that would get nowhere and would leave me feeling horrible that I couldn't talk, had to get off to soon, yelled in your ear and forgot to ask about you. So, I ignore your calls. It's for your own benefit.

And then, when I actually have quiet time I can't even muster up the energy to do anything other than sit on the couch and watch TV or play mindless games on my phone. I should call you then. I know I should. And I don't.

I know my friends with kids get this, being in the thick of it. But I don't know if you do. This is my open apology to being a sucky friend. I'm confident that at some point we will speak again, hopefully sooner than later. Because I need some childless friend time more than you know!