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You can decrease your stress by learning to talk to yourself in a positive, self-compassionate, and reassuring way. This takes practice, but the results are worth the effort. Here are some strategies from <anchor>VeryWell Mind</anchor> that you can try:
Positive Self Talk: What It Means and How It Can Help
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# What Is Positive Self-Talk?

Updated on December 06, 2023

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Positive self-talk involves having an inner dialogue that is primarily optimistic and positive. These thoughts and statements are the ones that build you up, increase your motivation, and make you feel good about yourself and your abilities.

How you talk to and about yourself can have a major impact on many areas of your life. Self-talk refers to the way your inner voice makes sense of the world around you and the way you. How you communicate with your inner self can affect everything from your self-esteem to your motivation to your relationships.

### At a Glance

Positive self-talk can give you that extra boost that helps you feel happy, fulfilled, and good about yourself and your life. It can also help combat feelings of anxiety and depression, which is why it's important to switch negative self-talk to an inner dialogue that is more helpful and positive. Identifying your thoughts and making a conscious effort to change them can be a great place to start.

## Positive Self-Talk vs. Negative Self-Talk

You can get a better idea of what we mean by positive self-talk by contrasting it with its polar opposite: negative self-talk. Where positive self-talk is kind, encouraging, and supportive (kind of how you would talk to a good friend or loved one), negative self-talk can be caustic, unhelpful, and even cruel.

Positive Self-Talk

- "I made a mistake."

- "This is hard, but I'll keep trying."

- "I'm still figuring things out."

- "I can keep learning and get better."

- "I know I can succeed."

- "I'm able to grow and change."

Negative Self-Talk

- "I'm an idiot."

- "I'll never get it right; I give up."

- "I never do anything right."

- "I'm terrible at this."

- "I'm not good enough."

- "I'll never change."

### Signs of Negative Self-Talk

If your self-talk is generally negative, you may be perceiving events in your life as more stressful than they need to be and creating unnecessary anxiety and stress for yourself. For example:

- You may be attributing negative motivations to well-meaning people.
- Or you might perceive yourself as less equipped to handle the challenges you face. This explains why you might be seeing only more negatives than positives in what you are facing in life.
- You may also succumb to rumination, a pattern of negative thinking that can unnecessarily consume your idle time and bring stress from the past into the present without leading to any resolution.

Patterns of negative or positive self-talk often start in childhood. Usually, the self-talk habit is one that’s colored our thinking for years and can affect us in many ways, influencing the experience of stress in our lives. However, any time can be a good time to change it.

## Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk can improve your resilience, mental well-being, and motivation. Some of the benefits of this type of uplifting self-talk include:

- Better cognitive performance
- Lower anxiety
- Reduced depression
- Improved motivation

### Try "You" Instead of "I"

Research suggests that using "you" or even your own first name in your positive self-talk can help maximize the benefits. So instead of thinking, "I can do it," try staying to yourself, "You can do it."

## How to Switch to Positive Self-Talk

If you frequently engage in negative self-talk, there are things that you can do to start switching to more positive self-talk. If these techniques don't work for you, consider seeing a therapist. They can utilize cognitive behavioral therapy to help you develop strategies to challenge negative thoughts and cognitive distortions.

### Notice Your Patterns

The first step toward change is to become more aware of the problem. You probably don’t realize how often you say negative things in your head or how much it affects your experience. Once you become more aware of your patterns, you can start making a conscious choice to shift your internal dialogue to be more positive, optimistic, or neutral.

### Write in a Journal

Journaling can be a helpful tool for shifting your thoughts to be more positive. You might try:

- Carry a journal around with you and jot down negative comments when you think them
- Write a general summary of your thoughts at the end of the day
- Write about your feelings on a specific topic

Once you collected some thoughts, you can later go back to analyze the contents of your journal. Journaling can be an effective tool for examining your inner process and spotting harmful patterns.

### Thought-Stopping

As you notice yourself saying something negative in your mind, you can stop your thought mid-stream by saying to yourself, "Stop." Saying this aloud will be more powerful.

Plus, having to say it aloud will make you more aware of how many times you are stopping negative thoughts.

## Replace Negative Statements  With Positive Self-Talk

A good way to stop a bad habit is to replace it with something better. Once you’re aware of your internal dialogue, here are some ways to change it:﻿﻿

### Milder Wording

Have you ever been to a hospital and noticed how the nurses talk about ‘discomfort’ instead of ‘pain’? This is generally done because ‘pain’ is a much more powerful word, and discussing your ‘pain’ level can actually make your experience of it more intense than if you’re discussing your ‘discomfort’ level.

You can try this strategy in your daily life. In your self-talk, turning more powerful negative words to more neutral ones can actually help neutralize your experience.

Instead of using words like ‘hate’ and ‘angry’ (as in, “I hate traffic! It makes me so angry!”), you can use words like ‘don’t like’ and ‘annoyed’ (“I don’t like traffic; it makes me annoyed,” sounds much milder, doesn’t it?)

### Negative to Neutral or Positive

As you find yourself mentally complaining about something, rethink your assumptions.﻿﻿﻿ Are you assuming something is a negative event when it isn’t, necessarily?

For example, having your plans canceled at the last minute can be seen as a negative, but what you do with your newly-freed schedule can be what you make of it. The next time you find yourself stressing about something or deciding you’re not up to a challenge, stop and rethink, and see if you can come up with a neutral or positive replacement.

### Self-Limiting Statements to Questions

Self-limiting statements like “I can’t handle this!” or “This is impossible!” are particularly damaging because they increase your stress in a given situation and they stop you from searching for solutions.

The next time you find yourself thinking something that limits the possibilities of a given situation, turn it into a question.

Doesn’t " How can I handle this?" or " How is this possible?" sound more hopeful and open up your imagination to new possibilities? You can also help yourself develop more positive self-talk by bringing more positive energy into your life. Surround yourself with positivity so your mind remains more optimistic and positive.

### What This Means For You

If you tend to be down on yourself, switching to positive self-talk really can do wonders for boosting your mood and motivation. Take notice whenever you engage in negative self-talk, and then work to replace those thoughts with positive ones. It takes time and effort, but the results are well worth it.

If you struggle to use positive self-talk, consider talking to a mental health professional. They can use techniques like cognitive reframing or cognitive restructuring to help change how you speak to yourself.

### Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares an effective way to help you curb negative thinking.

9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

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