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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I want to write something funny. I like making people laugh. I love hearing that something I've written has lightened someone's day and entertained them.

But I'm drained. I'm emotionally drained. I feel like I have nothing left to give. It is SO hard seeing your children hurt and not being able to fix the situation. It sucks. It just plain sucks. And when your child's depression causes them to act out in really horrible ways, it takes all your strength to remember there's a little kid who's hurting in there and he just doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. Sometimes you just have to bite your lip and stay calm even though every fiber of your being feels like knocking said kid into next week. And as much as it seems like he's hell-bent on making your existence as miserable as possible, you have to realize that you're getting the brunt of it because you're the parent who is there, who cares, who loves unconditionally, who isn't going to leave, who he's comfortable expressing himself to.

But it still sucks.

Sigh.

Okay, here's something funny. Brooklyn managed to get a small, metal Slinky tangled in her hair today. I have no idea how this happened. I have no idea how I got it out either, but it required supreme patience. And dexterity. And patience. What walks down stairs, and gets stuck in hair, And makes a slinkity sound?A spring, a spring, an evil ole thing, Everyone knows it’s Slinky…It's Slinky, it's Slinky, for fun it's a terrible toy!It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's bad for a girl and a boy!

But you have to laugh at stuff like that. Because if you don't, life has this funny way of slapping you upside the head and making you realize just how silly it was to stress over it. For example, a few hours later, Brooklyn got a wad of bubble gum stuck in her hair. HEE HEE HOO HOO HO HO HAAAA. HA. Ha. Hmmmmm. Ahem.

I knew it had to be Clay or Brooklyn's hair when I saw your TWITTER update about the slinky.I think Brooklyn WANTS a new hairdo since the slinky didn't work she used gum lol. I wish I lived closer,well you should live closer to me,L.A.,CA. but anywhoo,I would give you a BIG HUG and let you know things WILL get better for you and the kids. Then we'd go out for a mai tai,mmmm.

Hang in there, Dawn! You are amazing and you know that you are doing the right thing by being there for all of your kids. I know that it must be emotionally draining and that not having any help sucks but you are strong and beautiful and knowing that your kids can count on you is empowering. (maybe - OK that might be a stretch). BUT, the struggle is part of the journey so don't give up! Did you know that a butterfly NEEDS to struggle out of its cocoon in order to be able to fly? If you help it out of its cocoon, it will never fly and it might just die. It's true! So, think of that when life seems like a struggle every day. Keep pressing on and you will emerge a beautiful butterfly!

Dawn, my son is battling depression too. His stems from two friends committing suicide in the past year. He took the opposite route of your two - he just completely shut down, cutting himself off from literally everything he could. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to help and not being able to do so.

Let's see, the things that my kids have gotten stuck in my house/at the store:* a slinky in the hair* gum in hair (olive oil got it out)* a handheld fan like they sell at amusement parks. Thank God the little propeller/fan part just pops off to the hair slides off the little thingy* an arm stuck in a grocery cart (vaseline was necessary)* a head stuck in a grocery cart (lots of maneuvering to get it out)

and last, but certainly not least:*hair stuck in the professional toothbrush at the dentist office. Thought we'd break the brush trying to get her out of that one, but we finally unwound her hair.

Aren't girls lots of fun? (Yes. Yes they are!)

And you are right. If we don't laugh, things have a way of getting worse just to let us kow how silly this was in comparison.

Well, I'll say it-I have no respect for the father of your kids. He has put himself first and it is at the expense of you and your children. I don't understand how he could stop parenting and put it all on you. Now, you have all the burden and you need help, so do not apologize or that.

Bipolar disorder runs in my family (I have it), and now my 14 year old daughter came to me with serious concerns. My adopted children have it too. You have my total sympathy, as depression can often be an "invisible illness" and effect people in different ways. I'm proud of you for getting the kids help and not just blowing it off as hormones or behavior problems due to the divorce.

That said, my "favorite" thing to get out of my daughter's waist length hair? A round brush twirled in all the way at the roots. Luckily we were able to cut the brush up which made it easier to get out (although not easy to do while it was in her hair). Have you thought about giving her a Kate (as in Kate plus 8) type hairdo? ...practically shaved in the back and a little length in the front so people know she's a girl? It's much easier when they get headlice too! *grin*

Ans it seems to me that Miss Brooklyn needs a new hobby....something OTHER than putting things in her hair. :) Make her wear a stocking cap around ALL day with all of her hair tucked up inside....nice and safe.

Just curious how you do get the gum out? My daughter got gum in her hair last year. At church. By the time we got home, it was in there pretty bad and warm and gooey. I ended up cutting her hair which turned out to be a good thing.

I'm so sorry things continue to be difficult for you and your family. I'm glad that you realize that there is a child in pain inside (it can be hard to see that kid sometimes) and that you're bearing the brunt of it because deep down, your kids know it's safe to act that way with you. You're a *really* good mom. I hope things start looking up for all of you soon.

Now, for a little levity: You know those cars you wind-up by pulling them backwards and letting them go? When I was a kid -- but certainly old enough to know better -- I started wondering what would happen if I launched one of those babies off my head. I pulled the car back to wind it up really well, set the car on top of my head, and held it there while the wheels spun like lightning, tangling the car deeply into my hair. Ummm, yeah. I imagine it goes without saying that the car had to be cut from my hair?!

Just a quick KUDOS! to you. I was a pretty tough teenager to raise. I was a self injurer and had an eating disorder and was hospitalized too. I am now married, living a (kinda...) stable life with a good job and hoping for kids soon. Hang in there. It will get better, for you just like with your kids. ((hugs)) Also.. vegetable oil will help de-stick the gum!

Dawn, I'm sorry. Really sucks. Having your kids hurt, and not being responsible for it or able to change it, well, it sucks. Our kids pain is coming from a different place, but I sometimes feel helpless and small compared to their grief. Somedays I can honestly say that I see God's hand in their healing, and somedays I wonder if we are making any progress. Just know you are not alone. My kid didn't put a slinky in her hair -thank God because she's Haitian and I'd never get it out and her hair grows slowly. However, she did drink my coffee this morning. That I'd added Irish Cream too. The real stuff, not the buy next to the milk stuff. I'm sure they are going to come knock on my door to give me the parent of the year award any moment now.