" 

 == OSC == 

 Yeah I sawlooks good. Damn, but those FA folks are more hardcore copyeditors than me! (I figure I need to leave enough of other people's wording alone that they don't hate me!) I think it will pass, as it seems the only objections so far are are about the syntax, which you have dealt with. And yeah, I think the ""while"" is fine there. Good luck!  "