"Re: Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/NYC Outward Bound School == 

 Hi Excirial- 

 This is in regards to the decline of my submission: Wikipedia talk:Articles for creation/NYC Outward Bound Schools. The reasoning given was that it wasn't written in an encyclopedic tone, didn't use unbiased sources, and used value-laden language (my wording, as I can't find the decline page right now!). I'm hoping you can help me by giving me a few specific lines and/or particularly problematic sections? I've used 28 published references in the article, including 3 New York Times articles, a New York Times Magazine article, a New York Observer article, a New York Post article, 2 Newsday articles, a Miami Herald article, several articles from academic journals, and several books from established publishers like Teachers College Press, Public Affairs Books, and Middle Atlantic Press. 

 There are about 3 sections where I try to describe the organization's mission, values, goals and results, and I will admit that it was harder there to keep an encyclopedic tone. In the few places where assertions are made without references, I've tried to qualify the language using terms like ""The organization espouses a goal of doing XYZ"" rather than ""The organization delivers quality educational experiences"", etc. And I have really tried to not use superlatives and value-charged adjectives. 
 Can you please give me some sections and examples for me to look at and suggestions for how to improve? 

 Thanks, Carol NYCOBuser 
    

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