Script 

  Characters 

 Doogie-Russell 

 Spaghetti Farts-Cole 

 Ralph Youwannafightaboutit-James 

 Teetee Baby-Chris 

 Professor Dumpystumpington-Ajay 

  

 Ajay:  Okay class, I will not explain it again. Two people with small heads is not the same as one head count, and that is why my dog was shot… any questions? 

 James:*raises hand* 

 Ajay: yes Ralph 

 James: you wanna fight abut it? 

 Ajay: shut up ralph. *ajay smacks james* 

 Chris: professor does this relate to the lesson. 

 Ajay: no…. Next question  

 Russell *shoving food in his mouth*: hubbubbah HUGABLIVanhubabnison…. 

 Ajay: no Doogie… I don’t have any children…. Why? 

 Russell: hublavinggggaaa….. *swallows* no reason professor dumpystumpington 

 Ajay: ok then. Back to the lesson for the day.  

 Cole: raises hand* 

 Ajay: yes Spaghetti 

 Cole: I was wondering if *farts* 

 Ajay: OH GOD NO 

 **WHOLE CLASS FALLS OVER MOANING IN PAIN* 

 Ajay: Doogie get the funnel and the jar of honey…Lasagna go check your pants 

 Chris: Excuse me professor dumpystumpington…shouldn’t we be on the topic of ionic bonding 

 Ajay: Shut up tittybaby 

 Chris: Um my name is teetee baby 

 James: You wanna fight about it 

 Ajay: SHUT UP EVERYONE!.... now we will begin the topic of ionic bonding.. 

 Chris: but I just- 

 Ajay: IONIC BONDING. Is a bond that forms when electrons are transferred from one atom to another. Thus making at least one of the atoms stable…. 

 Chris: but.- 

 Ajay: NO COMENTS butt crack FACE….please. doogie. Explain covalent bonds 

 Russell: with the.. and umm. Nyah.. frigilmmmmm… donuts…. 

 Ajay: yes doogie. That correct. Covalent bonds are when atoms share valence electrons.  

 *Doogie hugs himself* 

 Ajay: Does anybody know any examples of covalent bonds? 

 Cole: Is this a covalent bond… *farts* 

 Ajay: Uh no Pasta, make sure you bring that clothespin and duct tape tomorrow. Can anyone else name a type of covalent bond? 

 *Chris raises hand* 

 Aww what is it this time. 

 Chris: I believe that H2O also known as water to you muggles is a covalent bond 

 Ajay: Very good titibaby, god I hate this class 

 James: You wanna fight about it? 

 Ajay: anyways back to what your parents are paying for, can anyone name a metallic bond (TeeTee’s hand shoots up) besides teetee baby! 

 Cole: I believe *farts* that *farts* metallic bonds are bonds formed *farts* by the attraction between ions *farts* in metal. 

 Ajay: Once again Macroni, you haven’t been able to state an answer without soiling your pants. 

 Chris: I’LL BANISH YOU ALL TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!! 

 Ajay: Eh, Ralph, teetee baby wants to fight. 

 James: wannafightaboutit (knocks out teetee baby) 

 Ajay: Thank God! Doogie, throw him in the dark room. 

 Everybody laughs and freeze 

 THE END