Dear Jeffrey Archer, 
 Your long novels suck but your short stories are amazing. 
 Your long novels are boring but your short stories are interesting. 
 I always found the twists in your long novels intolerable but the ones in your short stories, you guessed it, were witty and fantabulous. 
 To conclude, please write more short stories. I've already read them all and there's no more anthologies to read. Do not bother writing any more long novels as that will waste time that could be spent on creating short stories of beauty. 
 Sincerely, 
 An apologetically honest fan 
 P.S If you didn't get that I liked your short stories but not your novels, please read through letter again and ruminate deeper. 
 P.P.S You can write anything that you want. Even long novels. I'm just cranky at how disappointed I am with your novels after reading through the creativity and finesse of your anthologies. 
 P.P.P.S You are 
 absolutely brilliant 
 Mr. Archer. Can I have an authentic autographed anthology of short stories from you, please? 
 P.P.P.P.SThat last story of yours? Old Love, I think it was? That was my favourite. So sweet and yet so sorrowful.