This book was everything I could've wanted in a YA contemporary novel. I hate when HS kids are overly "bad" or "unreleastically" perfect. It's boring and annoying to read in those perspectives. But the voices of Jack, Alex, and Peekay were so true and raw. This story was dark and gritty, with the backdrop of teenage normalcy that just cut deep. I'm so taken aback by the story and the characters. I feel as if I've made and lost friends through this novel and how it seems like my high school experience, even though mine doesn't match this by a long shot. Alex's character is strong and scarred and amazing. Watching her character develop through the story as she finally lets people in is so heart-achingly real. There needs to be more contemporary YA like this, man. SO MUCH YES. Although I didn't cry, I have such heaviness in my heart. I can't stop being on the verge of tears.. which is actually more frustrating that actual tears. 
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 GOD FREAKING DAMNIT 
 I knew something had to mess up when I still had 30 minutes left on the ebook. My heart is so heavy rn. I really wanted more for Alex. I wanted the perfect fairytale for her and Jack, but of course, it didn't happen. But, still. I find beauty in the fact that this girl who never once thought her life would amount to more than the horrors of her past found love and friends and happiness. I like how the ending symbolized the importance of her existence, even if it was brief to Peekay and Jack's crew. I'm not sure how I feel about the last scene in the book, because I feel like there could've been something a bit more ..... shit, wow... but still. I'm blown away. It is 4:41 am and I think I'm going to end up just hugging my kindle and staring at the ceiling for some time. Damn.