My introduction to this series started long before every preteen and their freakin' grandmother was reading it - a friend sent me the first book for Christmas. I read it, found it entertaining, and went back to my life. I thought little of it, but now, revisiting the series after five movies, countless articles, and everyone from Stephen King to my pastor weighing in on the series, I'm picking up on... well, a lot that I'm surprised didn't annoy the hell out of me the first time around (maybe it did, I don't remember). 
 For the four people who haven't read this franchise, it's neither as glorious nor as horrific as many would have you believe; people inevitably either fall into the "I love it, and it's flawless" side of the argument, or the indignant, angry, bashing sort who love insulting the intelligence of anyone who does like it. I fall into neither camp, because I try to be objective about things - and there are some good and bad aspects to this book. 
 The good is that whatever you think of her purple prose and leading characters, Stephenie Meyer certainly knows how to tell a story, take a popular topic, and bring new things into it. What other franchise has their vampires playing baseball during a thunderstorm? Her use of "gifts" with some vampires is brilliant - Jasper can control others' emotions, Edward can read minds, and Alice of course can foresee the future. 
 Her misfortune, therefore, is to stick us in the minds of insipid, immature, neurotic teenagers, when she has a host of infinitely more fascinating characters at her fingertips - Carlisle, the son of a fanatical pastor in the 1500's who gets attacked and turned when hunting vampires in London, strikes out on his own and eventually winds up with the Volturi? Now that is the story I want to read! Or what about Alice's stint in the mental institution under shock therapy, until a vampire smuggled her out and turned her--only to be killed by James? Dammit, Meyer, how could you spin such an intriguing story in five paragraphs and leave me to wade through 500 pages of Bella tripping over stuff, Bella admiring how gorgeous Edward is, Bella biting her lip, Edward being bipolar, Edward getting "angry" and frightening Bella (who doesn't care if he eats her, it's just she doesn't want him upset with her first), and... well, just Bella being Bella. 
 Much has been said about this series and unfortunately, once you've heard it, you can't un-see it. I was painfully aware of the awkward writing, the amateurish usage of words other than "said" that were redundant (the dialogue expressed itself well enough without needing "stressed," "explained," or "shouted" at the end of it), and, more noticeably... the undercurrent of Bella and Edward's twisted, codependent relationship that unfortunately reads like it comes out of the abusive boyfriend handbook. Controlling her? Check. Constantly putting her down and making her feel self-conscious? Check. Mean-spirited teasing? Check. Blaming her for your own damn problems? Check. Feeling remorse when your choices put her in danger? Check. Stalking her and checking up on her every five seconds? Check. Edward's rapid shifts from anger to laughter make him look unstable at best, and psychotic at worst. I question my own sanity in ever liking Book!Edward (and I did, when far younger and much dumber). 
 I never thought I'd say it, but for once the movie is better. Why? Bella is less pathetic. Edward is less of a creepy, bipolar manic-depressive twit. And the secondary characters have more of a chance to shine. Plus, you get to see the vampire baseball game in action. Meyer does suck you in and hold you tight. I just wish an editor had shaved three hundred pages off the manuscript and they'd dealt with some of the stalker-y tendencies before it went to print. But oh, well. People loved it anyway. 
 Next up, the book where Bella spends 450 pages whining and then comes SO CLOSE to being eaten by Aro... 
 Sigh. Pity.