hilarious story about a pedophile vampire, stalking a bland teen in a small town. A love triangle is introduced, where it is later revealed the werewolf (the other love interest of Bella, the teen girl) has only been in love with one of Bella's unfertilized eggs. Things heat up when that egg gets doused in glittery vampire sperm and a baby, with a very unfortunate name, is born. The pedophilia theme is expanded when the teen werewolf declares his unending love and devotion to the new born infant. The baby's parents are inexplicably okay with this