beatlemania is nothing compared to what i feel for john green right now. 
 this book was the perfect palate-cleanser between all the dark apocalyptic stuff i have been shoving in my face. i have been reading so much dystopian YA that i forgot there were other options. i bought this ages ago, because i read looking for alaska, and everyone was giving this one high marks, but i kept passing it up in favor of "kids whose school is trying to eat them" and "kids vs. bears" and "kids in a world without cheese" which is the scariest dystopia i can imagine right now, but i forgot just how scary real life can be. and john green reminded me. and obviously, this isn't a horror novel, but i was reading this with so much apprehension, heading towards an uncertain ending, genuinely concerned for the characters. 
 (view spoiler)[ seriously- that scene with the dead raccoon - my heart was in my throat the whole time, i kept thinking NO YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO THIS SO EARLY IN THE BOOK! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO KILL HER OFF AND HAVE THE REST OF THE BOOK BE ABOUT THEM DEEEEEALING WITH HER SUICIDE. DON'T YOU DARE!! but it was such a tense scene, i was turning each page with dread, and then i missed my subway stop, so thanks a lot, john green (hide spoiler)] 
 i liked this even better than looking for alaska. in that book, i really liked the characters, but they did feel like characters. this feels like i am just observing real people, following actual kids around (which i would never do, officer) but they sound authentic. i thought looking for alaska was great, but those kids were a little too smarty-pants for me, while this book just sounds like actual smart kids talking. and it is funny and sad and intelligent and oh just so good. that scene with r. and the c.f. t-s?? i laughed so loudly, i startled myself. i just could not stop giggling. (fortunately not on the subway for that one) 
 a lot of the YA stuff i read is like "what if kids were hyper-articulate and possessed of amazing insight and inner resources and also super fighting skills?" but this one reminded me of what it was actually like to be youthful (ahhh....) even grown folks who refuse to dip into YA would enjoy this, i suspect. he is my perfect storyteller. he does his job, he takes you on a journey, and the characters actually grow as people and every character has a distinct voice, and there is dramatic tension. he is a writer. not an "author," but a true writer. some YA, even in books i like, falls into traps: they talk down to the audience, they gloss over certain things, clearly hoping the audience won't notice, they fail to provide appropriate details so the world becomes raggedy... and while it is easier, i'm sure, to operate in a real-world setting, rather than a world of your own making, john green does not take any shortcuts. there is a density to his writing that is truly impressive in a book that is not a slow-paced slog. 
 will i return to the YA dystopia? duh, obviously - i have like 30 of them here i have been dying to get into. but i know that when i need a break, i can return to john green and be guaranteed a well-wrought and thoughtful story that manages to actually have useful life lessons without coming across as teachy-preachy. and lord knows i still have a lot to learn.