**edited 12/15/13 
 It never occurred to me before, but I guess Carpe Jugulum is basically Twilight, but with a slightly more rational cast of characters and a little de-Sueing of the protagonist. As Pratchett proves, even the smallest touch of reality to that starry-eyed plot leads to a radically different outcome. 
 Agnes Nitt, apprentice witch, is our heroine. Unlike Bella Swan, Agnes isn't the "oh-look-at-me-I-have-low-self-esteem-in-an-apparently-adorable-and-captivating-way-and-I'm-actually-drop-dead-gorgeous" style heroine that seems so popular in contemporary YA. Agnes is (very) overweight and therefore falls outside societal norms for beauty. And then along comes Vlad the vampire. And he may seem to sparkle in the sunlight, but vampires will be vampires... 
 ...And that's all I'm going to post here. 
 The rest of my (rather verbose) review is posted over here at Booklikes. 
 Why? Because I disapprove of GoodReads' new policy of arbitrary censorship, and will no longer allow my full reviews to be posted here.