"Sure," I said, "you know, the lion falls for the lamb..." 
 "What?" 
 "Sorry. It's easier for me if I explain things in animal terms." 
 "So you thought I was a... lamb?" 
 "No, a lion. Or, you know, you're the shark and I'm the seal." 
 He stared at me blankly. 
 "Okay," I tried again. "You're the giraffe and I'm the leaf." 
 "Are you breaking up with me?" He asked quietly. 
 This was the only section I enjoyed from the entire book. In middle school, my friend was obsessed with Twilight. Her favourite quote from the book was "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...", which at the time, I thought was the dumbest thing a guy could say to a girl. Good to know that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. 
 Like The Harvard Lampoon's Hunger Pains, this book is filled with nonsensical juvenile humour (if you're into that kind of stuff, then this book is for you). Most of the jokes would only be understood if readers read the original books. However, unlike the Hunger Pains, Nightlight's plot made a lot more sense. 
 On Belle Goose's first day of school in the new town of Switchblade, Oregon, she immediately notices a mysterious and pale looking nerd, Edwart Mullen. His awkwardness and lack of appetite has Belle convinced that he is a vampire. All she needs to do is to seduce and convince him to bite her so that she can live the rest of her life as a vampire.