1/16/16 update: After realizing how childish my reasons were and how disingenuous the result, I'm moving this back to the 4 stars I originally had it at. 
 4/28/15 update: I gave William Shakespeare's The Phantom of Menace 5 stars, but I'm not sure if I can sleep at night knowing I rated something related to that movie higher than something related to Return of the Jedi, so the rating for this book is going from four to five stars. I have spoken. 
 Original review: 
 I could really just repost my review of 
 The Empire Striketh Back 
 here, for they come to the same. Perhaps a bit more knowledge of Shakespeare would be beneficial for enjoying this one because there were more soliloquies, and I'm sure all of them had a foundation in some play I didn't know. In fact, I didn't catch any of them except the very last one where R2 closes out our trilogy in the style of Puck's closing from A Midsummer Night's Dream. I'll lay that out in full at the end. 
 I kind of wish the afterword were where the foreword would go because it explains some things that I would've been on the lookout for had I known they were there, and that would've enriched the reading experience. For example, the Ewoks speak the first and last line of their quatrains in their own language, and the middle two in a bastardized phonetic English. I didn't catch that on my initial run, so I ran through them again after reading it to see what I could see. It was pretty cool, and I wish I had known. I thought they were just speaking pure nonsense like Chewie and the Hutts. 
 (After Wicket get's frightened by Leia taking off her hat): 
 A kusha kusha, 
 Wassee doona? 
 Mia scardu, 
 Pusha, pusha. 
 (What's she doing? I'm scared). Yeah, it sounds like Jar-Jar, unfortunately, but I reckon there are worse things. I still liked it. 
 Some believe Shakespeare is British, but many protest this claim. During WWII, the Germans claimed him. (I guess they figured since they were lying about everything else, they'd just roll with that one as well? Maybe he was born in Stratford-upon-Danube)? Most seem to think he was originally Klingon and born at Stratford-upon-Skral. 
 "taH pagh taHbe'" 
 (Sorry for mixing canons). But very few know that he was actually born on Tatooine at Stratford-upon-nothing (there are no rivers on Tatooine). Since he did a lot of work for the Hutts, all of his original manuscripts are in Huttese, and not only are snippets of those in this book, they're actually in the movies as well. That's right. All of Jabba's, Bib Fortuna's, and Salacious Crumbs lines in Return of the Jedi are from Shakespeare's plays, and they're just "translated" into English on the screen, though the English doesn't match the original line. Oh, George Lucas, you so cray-cray. So it was nice to read those lines in this book as well even if they're taken from Shakie's other works and make no sense if you know Huttese. 
 Anyway, here are some favorite gems. The first is from the inside flap, and the rest from the text. 
 "But whom can (the rebels) trust to fight by their side in the great battle to come? 
 [image error] 
 Cry 'Ewok' and let slip the dogs of war!" 
 Leia let's us know how she really feels when she does in Jabba of the Hutts. 
 -Those shall be thy words 
 Most final! Now, chains that bind me to 
 This wretched lump of flesh shall be my hope! 
 Whilst Jabba worries o'er the battle, I 
 Shall throw the chains about his neck. Then, pull! 
 Aye, pull - a princess' vengeance! Die, thou brute! 
 thou unsuspecting Hutt, I curse thy life! 
 For all the innocent whoe'er did die, 
 For all the noble souls thou didst torment, 
 For all the gentle lives that are no more, 
 For all the galaxy's injustice - die! 
 And here to put all that in layman's terms for us in this modern age are minstrels Eminonny and D.M.Lackaday 
 Now go to sleep bitch! 
 Die, motherfucker, die. Boom! Time's up bitch, close your eyes. 
 Go to sleep bitch! (WHAT!?) 
 Why are you still alive? How many times I gotta say close your eyes? 
 Go to sleep bitch! (WHAT!?) 
 Die, motherfucker, die. Bye bye, motherfucker, bye bye! 
 Go to sleep bitch! (WHAT!?) 
 Why are you still alive? Why? Die, motherfucker, HA HA HA! 
 Go to sleep bitch... 
 Once thou hast enter'd 
 In the dark path infernal, 
 Abandon all hope. 
 And thou didst say 'twas pretty here. O pish! 
 Han solo gets the best lines. Several are in this scene alone: 
 Avaunt, thou scruffy flea-infested imp- 
 Point not thy spear toward my angry self, 
 Else thou shalt know the scourge of blaster fire. 
 (After C-3PO tells Han he's unable to impersonate a deity): 
 Thou fickle spirit! Deity or not, 
 I shall a spiritual experience 
 Enjoy as I do tear thee limb from limb. 
 Here's the extended version of one of the internet's favorite memes: 
 -O knavery 
 Most vile, O trick of Empire's basest wit. 
 A snare, a ruse, a ploy: and we the fools. 
 What great deception hath been plied today- 
 O rebels, do you hear? Fie, 'tis a trap! 
 (I would like to have seen "A trap 'tis," but you can't have everything). 
 And I must give the soliloquy from my favorite scene. Though I've never read The Merchant of Venice, I'm guessing the second half is a reference to Shylock? The first half is obviously the Emperor's lines in iambic pentameter. 
 -Young fool, 'tis only now 
 In this, thy final living moment, thou 
 Dost comprehend thy folly and my might. 
 Thy feeble skills are nothing when compar'd 
 To all the power of the dark side. Thou 
 Dost pay the rightful price for thy severe 
 And utter lack of vision. Aye, thy debt 
 is due, and I am both thy creditor 
 And thy collector, too. What thou hast not 
 Repaid with thy belief I shall exact 
 From thine own flesh. And O, what joy it brings 
 To charge thee thus - my payment justly earn'd. 
 To wound thee, hurt thee, break thee, and, at last, 
 To bring to thee the death that I am ow'd. 
 Take us home, R2-Puck2, thou noble fool. 
 Even thus, our tale is finish'd. 
 Pardon if your hope's diminish'd- 
 If you did not find the sequel 
 Satisfying. If unequal 
 Our keen play is unto others, 
 Do not part in anger, brothers. 
 Ears, attend: I know surprises, 
 Visions of all shapes and sizes. 
 In some other times and places 
 It may be Rebellion faces 
 Certain dangers that may sever 
 Our strong bonds that held us ever. 
 Mayhap something compromising, 
 Even like an Empire Rising. 
 Thus present I our conclusion: 
 Hint of Fate, or Fool's illusion?