It took me too dang long to get up the nerve to read this, and I was a fool, such a fool for fearing it. 
 Here are a few of my favorite bits (SPOILERS, obv) .... 
 The grand escape from the prison. Even though I knew the basic storyline before reading -- in fact, I'm pretty sure I've seen at least one movie, even if I don't remember it/them at all -- I was still surprised by the sheer thrill of Edmond's daring escape plan and his unexpected plunge into the stormy ocean. (Although... didn't the abbe tell Edmond to give him 12 drops of the potion after his 3rd seizure to attempt to revive him, yet the dumbass only gave him 10? Or was that a translation error in this edition? Because, uh, that's not a minor detail.) 
 One entire chapter was devoted just to a dude getting high on hashish and having some kind of epic wet dream. 
 Albert just generally being a sweet summer child. He wants so badly to have a fling while travelling in Italy but can't even manage it -- until he falls head over heels for a notorious bandit's lover and allows himself to be tricked into getting kidnapped. Then he somehow manages to fall asleep while being held for ransom with the promise of execution if it can't be paid. All this after he declared that he didn't even believe in bandits! And he loves his mamma so dang much. The precious boy will do anything to keep her happy, and in the end he has to sacrifice quite a lot in order to do so. Such a beautiful cinnamon roll. 
 Everyone faints all the time. Every single named character faints or nearly faints at least once. Except for the butch lesbian. 
 Speaking of the butch lesbian, yes, this novel involves lesbians. One of them dresses as a dude and somehow gets away with it... until she's caught in bed with her lady lover/piano teacher... by her 2nd ex-fiance, a con artist on the run from the law. Anyway, these ladies are 2 of only 6 characters to actually get a happy ending, if you don't count the aforementioned slight embarrassment. 
 Do I even need to tell you how satisfying the Count's revenge was? Multiple counts of revenge, and happily guilty of every single one. Well, no, he wasn't 100 % happy with certain events, and frankly this wishy-washy, "Does God approve of my avenging angel plans or nah???" nonsense got a bit tiresome. But for the most part the whole revenge thing was extremely satisfying. 
 Don't forget about all the funny little bits that make this more than just an overly long adventure novel.The book is a pleasure to read because Dumas makes the reader feel like you're in on the plot and you know all the inside jokes. I don't think he ever went so far as to have the characters flat-out break the fourth wall, but some passages are written in such a way that I could practically hear the author having a good chuckle about the whole thing. 
 I got a little carried away when I was reading & trying to write this review, so for the full thing you can visit my blog here.