** spoiler alert ** 
 Ok. So here's the thing. This reads like a bad, baaaaad, fanfiction. 
 Spoilers 
 It includes throw ins of Dramione and Snape/Hermione. It has cheesy lines, melodramatic Harry-Dumbledore moments, and a Ron that is so OOC and ridiculous that you initially make a reason for it only to then go "I should not have to make up a reason for this." Harry is a bad dad with "no father figure to go with or against" except that he did have Vernon Dursley to hella go against. He also seems to be a great parent to his two other children and when it is brought up he says "everything comes easy to James." Like bro... That is such a cop out. Delphi's entire existence is just ludicrous! The fact that she is a character, the fact that this entire story is real is what really fucks me up. THE TROLLY WITCH ON THE TRAIN! So DUMB! 
 Nostalgia is going to make people love this. And I can totally, 100%, absolutely see how seeing this in theatres would be epic and wonderful and exciting. Action, drama, all of your fave characters coming back to life. James and Lily being parents irl!!! But that doesn't cover up the fact that this play, this story, is garbage. In short all of the characters felt false, the plot itself was illogical and just horrifying from a storytelling standpoint, and it threw in too many things to make it seem genuine. It seemed more like a fanservice that got way out of hand and that it was just these two guys wanting to make their BAD fanfiction come to life and somehow got JKR to approve it. 
 *EDIT* I just really needed to include this, it has been bothering me for two days now. The relationship between Scorpius and Albus is wonderful and horrible. They are great friends andI love that there is such a positive friendship HOWEVER this friendship is laced, doused, covered, drenched, dipped, and saturated with queer baiting. Scorpius has a crush on Rose from the beginning but really anyone who reads this will instantly think that there is romantic chemistry between Scorpius and Albus and, in fact, be so sure of it that they would expect that to be the end result. But it's not. And really, coming from someone who ships Rosius, that pissed me off more than anything else. Those two boys clearly loved each other beyond friends and this fucking play used and abused the need for canon queer characters (THAT ACTUALLY ADMIT TO BEING QUEER IN THE BOOKS) and that makes me irate. It is queer baiting 1000% and it's disgusting. 
 To quote someone else "the real cursed child is me for having read that plot." And to make an amendment to that: the real cursed child is me for having prayed for an eighth book all while knowing that you should be careful what you wish for.