I'm not going to degrade myself by reading the rest of this book (did not finish at the 20% mark), nor am I going to put my poor brain through any more strife by having to write a review, so I will just point you in the direction of this review, this review and this review. All of whom seemed able to articulate the utter shite that this book is better than I ever could, because I can't even see right now there's so much shit in my eyes. 
 Instead what I'll do is use the SwiftKey predictive text input on my phone to write a much better story. 
 "Our client has a tear of a certain flavour of the most sarcastic quotes, and the moon is a bit of a book that handles mental health problems. The box also acts a little bit more about this property to be a princess and you are eating a lot of books. Perfect, I have a lot of work to get through the process of adding a couple of options for you. If you put a few more days for your patience whilst we enjoyed a short holiday break from a wooden poppy, and I'm not even getting the job. 
 No problem, please let me know what you think and then I can get it. Anyone else tried to do this before I go back and see you tomorrow and see if I can find a time to meet up. The first one is a few months back and that I have a lot of books that can be purchased in one hand and one of our galaxy florists." 
 I think we can all agree that was much better all round.