Here's a book called Blackout that seems hugely popular with critics and the Goodreads crowd, but that I thought had serious flaws despite a cool premise. Now I've written a long review going in depth into what irritated me so much. Hmm... I wonder why I've got this odd feeling of deja vu? 
 This is the third book in the Newsflesh trilogy after Feed and Deadline in which Mira Grant* created a future world set about twenty-five years after mutated viruses created zombies. In this future, where dying by any means causes the dormant virus to go active and turn any corpse into a potential brain eater, large parts of the world have been ceded to the undead while the so-called safe zones are made up of fortified locations and rigid security measures. 
 * A pen name for Seanan McGuire. 
 Bloggers have become the most trusted source of news since traditional media did nothing to inform people about the danger or what to do during the initial zombie uprising. The story revolves around some of these on-line journalists who got thrown in the middle of a vast political conspiracy that has cost them dearly. 
 To find an example of one of my biggest problems with these books I need to look no further than the zombie bear in this one. In Grant's version of the future, the large mammals like horses, cows and bigger dogs can also turn into zombies, and we get the potential for an awesome scene when a couple of the main characters run across a zombie bear while traveling, and they have no choice but to take it down. If you're the kind of person who has dedicated a significant amount of time to reading over 1700 total pages of a zombie story, the idea of a fight with a zombie bear should fill you with glee and anticipation. 
 What Grant does is some foreshadowing about the appearance of a zombie bear, then has the zombie bear show and get two characters all revved up to fight it. They grab their guns and jump out of their vehicle to take on this goddamn zombie bear, and then...... 
 She cuts to the next chapter where something else is going on. Later on we get a brief blog post from one of the characters saying that he killed a zombie bear and it was fun. 
 This incident makes me pretty sure that Mira Grant isn't from Missouri. You know, the SHOW-ME STATE. If there was one of the fifty that was a I'LL-STRONGLY-HINT-THAT-SOMETHING-AWESOME-IS-ABOUT-TO-HAPPEN-REPEATEDLY-BUT-NEVER-QUITE-PAY-IT-OFF STATE, that's where Mira Grant would be from. (But that motto would probably be tough to fit on a license plate.) 
 I gotta a lot of other problems with this book and the entire trilogy. In order to maximize my bitching, I've broken them into these categories that are spoiler free: 
 The Grant Repetition Principle - Apparently Mira Grant thinks all of her readers have the same condition as Guy Pierce in Memento and that none of us are capable of producing short term memories because she repeats shit constantly to either remind us of things or reuse the same plot points, scenes or dialogue over and over again. If the Internet hasn't completely devastated your attention span, this gets annoying in a hurry. This repetition causes the other issues I had with the book to become even more irritating because if she does something that annoys you once, you can bet it's going to happen about fifty more times over the course of the three books. 
 Mira Grant Wants To Suck Your Blood! - If I had a nickel for every blood screening that happens in these books, I could make Bill Gates my pool boy. Yes, this is a society locked down and living in fear because of a virus, but that doesn't mean that the details of all those tests have to be repeated. Even worse is that Grant gets stuck on certain phrases and descriptions. The subject almost always "Slaps my palm on the panel." and then they wince as "The needles bit into my skin." 
 First off, if it's a blood test with needles, why would you 'Slap my palm on the panel'? Why not "Place my palm gently on the panel."? 
 Secondly, I've got a cat with diabetes who has required two injections of insulin a day for five years or so. That means I've injected him over 3600 times. In all of those, I have never once 'bit' him with a needle. I've 'jabbed' him with a needle. I've 'poked' him with a needle. I've 'pierced' him with a needle. I've 'stung' him with a needle. But no 'biting'. 
 It's called a thesaurus, Mira. Look into it. Or better yet, just cut down on the blood tests. 
 Have A Coke And A Smile - I'm pretty sure that Coca-Cola must have paid some kind of product placement fee because there's no other way to figure out why it seems like someone is drinking one on every other page. Since Mira is also assuming that none of us can remember what a Coke tastes like, she lets us know how sweet it is every time. 
 Particularly bad was this exchange on page 511 which I think is Coke # 2465 in this book: 
 "How are you feeling?" 
 "Exhausted. I need a Coke." 
 I was never going to get tired of hearing those words. 
 That's when I realized that Mira Grant has got to be fucking with us. 
 Where Are All The Zombies? And What Do They Look Like? - Blackout has 632 pages. Of this, only about 40 actually feature any kind of encounters with zombies. That's about 6% of the book, and that ratio is about the same for the other two. And whenever zombies do show up, there is an almost complete lack of description of them. They are just 'zombies'. No mention of age, gender, clothing, state of decay or anything else. I know that giving detailed descriptions of zombie hordes would be impossible, but if you don't describe at least a few of them, then it's just this nebulous vague threat. 
 Maybe if we could have had a few less blood tests and Cokes, there would have been time for some more zombie fightin' action and maybe a couple of descriptions to let us know what they looked like. 
 Are You Threatening Me? - Our heroes love to threaten people. They threaten both their enemies and friends constantly. Following the Grant Repetition Principle, most of these threats are pretty similar. Someone is always A) Going to get shot. Or B) Going to be punched in the face. 
 These threats are doled out in conversation and in the blog posts that lead off every chapters, but don't worry if you get told that you're going to be punched or shot. These guys talk a good game, but they never really follow through on anything. 
 In fact, they are given to make bold pronouncements of how they're about to unleash hell on somebody. Never happens. Probably because they all appear to be manic depressives as illustrated in our next category. 
 Game Over, Man! Game Fucking Over! - When not telling everyone how they're gonna shoot them or punch them in the face, our heroes tend to get pessimistic. Once again, we can look to the Grant Repetition Principle to get countless instances of someone confidently asserting that they're all going to die soon. It does not so much build up a state of fear and dread for their future as it bores the shit out me. 
 Here are more categories with spoilers. I am giving up major plot points from all books as well as the ending of this one so do not read if you don't want to know. 
 (view spoiler)[ 
 Send In The Clones - One of the strongest moments of the series was when our first person narrator George was deliberately infected with the virus which forced her brother Shaun to shoot and kill her as she made her final blog entry. That scene pushed Feed up several notches for me as well as making me think that Mira Grant may have some pretty bold tricks up her sleeve. 
 Turns out the trick was to have a clone of George introduced in this one. That dropped my opinion of the entire story because now George's 'death' was just emotional manipulation of the reader that had no true consequences. So there's both a tragic death to let everyone break their hankies out, but still a happy ending to cheer. 
 Bullshit. 
 Shaun Mason Is A Douche Bag - I don't know if Mira Grant has ever actually talked to any men or not, but if this is her view of what we're like, then I feel like our entire gender has been insulted. 
 As the daredevil Irwin who 'pokes dead things with sticks' (Yet another example of the Grant Repetition Principle), Shaun was just a loyal but brainless minion to George in the first book. George's death could have forced him into being an interesting character in the second one. Instead what we got was a self-absorbed abusive fuck who would punch his own employees if they dared mention his sacred sister's name in a way he disapproved of and who preferred to go crazy town banana pants rather than deal with the here and now. 
 Fuck him. 
 Oops, I didn't mean literally, George! 
 Incest! - I gather there's a bit of controversy about the whole thing of George and Shaun being lovers. Since it was well established that they were adopted and not related by blood, then I didn't have a problem with it. 
 What I did think was beyond creepy was that they continued to refer to each other as brother and sister rather than girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, sweet patootie, etc. 
 Yeah, I know George's bullshit explanation about how they had to keep it secret because of their public image. Uh...No. Have a press conference and explain that you fell in love with the person you've known and trusted longer than anyone and stress that you are not actually related. Most people would probably be cool with that, but if they find out you're secretly sleeping with someone you still refer to as your brother? 
 Yuck. 
 The Romeo And Juliet Factor - So George was dead for a while and it made Shaun into an asshole as well as crazy. We're told over and over (The GRP again.) how he was always meant to outlive George, and how when he finally settles up with the vast conspiracy, he's going to go off and just live with Ghost George in his head and be completely shit-your-pants-crazy. When George comes back from the dead, she mentions several times that they always thought that Shaun would die first, and after he did, she would bury him and then kill herself. 
 Obsessive, unhealthy love affairs that end in madness and/or suicide are not what I'm looking for in my zombie books. 
 The CDC Needs New Locks - In Deadline Shaun and company make two long and dangerous journeys to confront the CDC in two different cities. Both times end in disaster. In this one, they actually have a plan that makes some sense, but have to turn around and come back to Seattle before completing any of it. 
 And then they break into the CDC again. 
 Seriously, Mira? 
 The Stupidest Conspiracy Story Since The X-Files Went Off The Air - So the evil CDC was controlling the President by holding his wife and kids hostage while giving him a clone wife for the cameras. George was cloned by the CDC so that a programmed version could be used to manipulate and betray Shaun, but the underground elements led by the Vice-President used that to get a 'good' George and break the story about the virus to the world. Because George's credibility is so fucking awesome that even showing up after being dead in a world full of blood thirsty zombies, people would instantly believe her. 
 The first stage of the plan? Have the president's family freed in ten minutes by using secret elements the good guys already had in position.(Another action that we're only told about, but don't get any details on.) George gets a gun and goes to the room with the Prez and evil CDC guy, tells everyone that the jig is up and then a Secret Sevice guy kills the CDC dude. After escaping the zombie outbreak, the files get sent out by their news site and George does a video telling everyone to listen to the President who tells everyone what's been going on. 
 Sooooooooo...... Why exactly were George and Shaun so important again? Supposedly their credibility was vital to the plans of both sides. Maybe if instead of fucking around for over a year while trying to clone George, the VP and the loyal Secret Service agents could have just freed the President's family, which apparently could have happened at any time since it was so easy that it was done in ten minutes after one phone call, and then just put him on TV to say that the CDC is EEEEVVVIIIIIIILLLLLL! 
 No one would have listened to the goddamn President of the United States if he said that his family was held hostage by the CDC? The only person that anyone in the world will believe is Georgia Mason? Christ, if people are that cynical in 2040 than just go ahead and clone Walter Cronkite to break the news. 
 I guess that wouldn't work because.... 
 George & Shaun Mason Are The Only People That Matter In The World! - Yeah, there's some lip service paid to other people on their team, but by shifting the first person narration between two people who really only care about each other, it makes the books completely about them. 
 And if you're trying to create a story that involves a vast political conspiracy and a worldwide plague of zombies, the scope needs to be wider than two people utterly obsessed with each other. 
 Part of the reason that I don't buy the idea that George is the only journalist in the world who will be believed is that we never once saw what kind of impact her writing had. Yes, we were once again told how it got the President elected and all that, and they sometimes talked about their high ratings in Feed, but we never got a viewpoint from anyone else as to what their reporting meant to anyone reading it. 
 Over the course of these books, Oakland got firebombed and Florida was supposedly lost to hurricanes and zombie mosquitoes, and yet all of it was told to us third hand. Somewhere in these 1700 pages there should have been room to let us know what people outside of the George & Shaun bubble thought was going on. 
 (hide spoiler)] 
 I've spent so much time breaking this down because these three books ended up seeming like a wasted opportunity to me. Mira Grant came up with an intriguing twist on the zombie genre. Despite the flaws, she's also got a compulsively readable style at times. When she remembered that she was writing a zombie novel and threw in some action, she actually did a pretty good job of it. There's two tense and action filled conflicts with the undead in this that are top notch, but as I've pointed out here, that made up a very small portion of the overall story. 
 Instead of delivering on the potential of the world she created, she focused instead on the inner lives and emotional state of a couple of characters that became boring and irritating when she couldn't think of enough stuff for them to do and just repeated the same crap over and over again. 
 Here endth the rant.