* Actual Rating: 4.5 stars* 
 WARNING: this review is gonna contain lots of fangirling and gifs. You have been warned. Proceed with caution. 
 "If the oxygenator breaks down, I'll suffocate. If the water reclaimer breaks down, I'll die of thirst. If the Hab breaches, I'll just kind of explode. If none of those things happen, I'll eventually run out of food and starve to death. So yeah. I'm fucked." 
 Basically me throughout The Martian: 
 So let me point out something important before giving out a brief insight about the book. I FREAKING LOVE MARK WATNEY!!!!!!!!! (That's the MC) 
 Okay, so the novel kicks off with Mark's snarky sense of humor, declaring the he's stranded..alone..on Mars! 
 Chapter 1: Log Entry SOL 6 
 I'm pretty much fucked. 
 That's my considered opinion. 
 Fucked. 
 Six days into what should be the greatest two months of my life, and it's turned into a nightmare. 
 I don't even know who'll read this. I guess someone will find it eventually. Maybe a hundred years from now. 
 For the record . . . I didn't die on Sol 6. Certainly the rest of the crew thought I did, and I can't blame them. Maybe there'll be a day of national mourning for me, and my Wikipedia page will say, "Mark Watney is the only human being to have died on Mars." 
 His crewmates think he's dead. NASA thinks he's dead. The whole world thinks he's dead. 
 No communication. 
 A broken suit. 
 Not enough food. 
 All on his own, on a deserted planet. 
 How is Mark going to survive? 
 READ TO FIND OUT!!!! YES YOU HAVE TO READ THIS FREAKINGLY AMAZINGLY FANTASTICALLY BOOKTASTIC SCIENTIFIC BOOK!!! 
 Yes it has lots of different aspects and fields of science in it. No it's not boring. Yes, you'll like it. It's incorporated with humor in way that'll make it more appealing. 
 This book harmonizes science fiction with hilarious-laughing your ass 0ff-dark humor, whilst maintaining a fast paced unpredictable flow of events. It drowns the reader in Mark's world, ultimately making him on the edge of his/her seat while desperately wanting him to survive. It really shows how much smart and capable astronauts have to be. I gotta admit that I have founded a new level of admiration and respect for them. 
 "The screen went black before I was out of the airlock. Turns out the "L" in "LCD" stands for "Liquid." I guess it either froze or boiled off. Maybe I'll post a consumer review. "Brought product to surface of Mars. It stopped working. 0/10." 
 "Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped." 
 This is a book about a man's endeavor to survive against all odds. A man who has to science the shit out of anything to remain alive. A man who's words drip with humorous sarcasm that'll surely leave anyone laughing his/her ass off. A man who you'll be rooting for to make it. 
 Some more quotes, cuz that's how much I love Watney: 
 "He's stuck out there. He thinks he's totally alone and that we all gave up on him. What kind of effect does that have on a man's psychology?" He turned back to Venkat. "I wonder what he's thinking right now." 
 LOG ENTRY: SOL _ How come Aquaman can control whales? They're mammals! Makes no sense." 
 "I started the day with some nothin' tea. Nothin' tea is easy to make. First, get some hot water, then add nothin'." 
 "As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation." 
 Thank you Mr. Weir for writing this remarkable unforgettable novel.