For Beatrice - 
 No one could extinguish my love, 
 or your house. 
 I guess if this were a standalone book I wouldn't give it five stars, but this one is outstanding within the series. Several characters return from almost all the other books. Some are villains, some are good but stupid (none are heroes). A lot of things come together in this one, and I really enjoyed seeing it happen. 
 Plus, life gets complex. Well, it's always been that for the kids, but now they're having to live with bad deeds done with good intentions. And not only that, we might get a bit of backstory on Olaf that may end up making sympathetic with him. I hope not. I like it when bad is bad, and good is good. I like it when things are simple. Unfortunately that's not how life works. 
 The Baudelaires have been unwilling arsonists for a while, but now they might have moved up to unintentional manslaughter. (view spoiler)[I'm not referring to them accidentally shooting Dewey with a harpoon; the onus of that responsibility lies with Olaf, I don't care what anyone says. I'm referring to them setting the hotel on fire with everyone in it, and just hoping they have sense enough to leave before it burns down. They've known these people for 12 books now. Why would they assume they have a lick of sense at all? (hide spoiler)] Maybe we'll find out in the next book if anyone perished in the conflagration. They had a terrible choice to make, and they made it, but I still maintain that they could've found another way to deal with their predicament. Hell, they could've socked Olaf in the eye a million times by now and simply run away, but they won't get physical. So many things they do or don't do just don't make any sense, but that's part of the charm of the series. 
 No quotes stand out in this one, but that's because I read most of it so fast. I think I did 200 pages alone yesterday. 
 I don't think we'll ever find out what's in that damn sugar bowl, or why it's so important, but there's one book to go, and I'll stay optimistic... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. 
 I'm not going to say it's worth reading 11 books just to get to this one; it's not that good. As usual, if you can't handle Snicket's style, it doesn't matter how good the story gets you're not going to enjoy reading it. All of his idiosyncrasies, the awesome and the mundane, are present here. The annoying parts aren't as heavy as in the last installment, and I was able to glide right through it all sans irritation. But if you like his style, or at least aren't turned off by it, then you'll probably really enjoy this installment. It's still a great story. 
 Bios 
 LEMONY SNICKET has been chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire children with only occasional breaks for food, rest, and court-appointed sword-fights. His hobbies include nervous apprehension, increasing dread, and wondering if his enemies were right after all. 
 BRETT HELQUIST (regular bio stuff, blah, blah, blah). Sometimes he finds his work so distressing that he sends himself flowers, but it never helps.