Alright everyone, pull up a seat and grab yourself a drink because I have quite a few thoughts about 'My Heart and Other Black Holes' and not very many of them are good. This review will contain spoilers, as well as discuss potentially triggering aspects of the story, so please consider yourself warned and do not proceed further if you're not comfortable. 
 For a book about mental illness that has been widely described as 'fearless', 'taboo-busting', 'sensitive', 'important' and 'authentic' I am actually kind of furious and more than a little bit hurt by this book. I wish someone had warned me not to read it, but I thought I would be safe with a novel I'd seen appear on mental health awareness and diverse reading lists, especially considering it has received positive reviews from individuals with a background in clinical psychology for goodness sake. 
 I was wrong. 
 Let me be clear, this book is incredibly problematic in its handling of mental illness. It contains potentially harmful and damaging representation. It promotes negative and stigmatising stereotypes. I'd like to say that I'm surprised by that fact, or that this book has received literally hundreds of rave reviews, but to be honest this is a trend that I'm so used to seeing in almost every type of fictional medium when it comes to mental illness representation that it doesn't even surprise me anymore. 
 (view spoiler)[ 
 However, before I get into the ways this book is problematic, I do want to acknowledge the things that the author has done right, because that's only fair, right? 
 'My Heart and Other Black Holes' is without doubt a compelling read. The author weaves elements of science and philosophy into the story, creating a narrative that is equal parks dark and harrowing, but also insightful and thought-provoking. It is beautifully written, emotionally evocative and heartbreakingly relatable. The author does do a fantastic job of portraying the effects of depression, capturing the crushing weight and overwhelming sense of darkness, with an aching honesty. I think depression can often be difficult to describe or understand because it is largely an invisible illness, but the author explores the complicated emotions - from the guilt, anger and anxiety to the exhaustion, pain and apathy - with utmost understanding and sensitivity. It is dark and messy and confusing and real. There is something absolutely authentic and painfully raw about the sorrow, the helplessness and the drowning internal struggle that leads a person to contemplate suicide. 
 If you are looking for a novel that accurately describes what it feels like to experience depression it is here that this book shines. It is also for this reason that I have given this book a slightly higher rating than I wanted too otherwise. I do think that a lot of young readers will find themselves reflected within the pages of this book, and if reading a story that deals with these emotions in such an honest way gives them the ability to not only understand their experience but also accept or seek help then that is, without doubt, a good thing. I was also really excited by the fact that the main character is a first generation Turkish-American immigrant and a total physics nerd, both of which are great to see being represented in a book targeted to young adults. 
 But sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. Regardless of what this book does right, it is still incredibly problematic in its handling of mental illness. And in all honesty, just getting the first part right isn't good enough when it comes to writing about mental illness. 
 Let me list my main issues with this book: 
 Problem 1) 
 It contains a lot of ableism. 
 First and foremost is the recurring use of ableist language. While this sort of language can often make sense within the context of a narrative, especially from the perspective of internalised ableism, when it is not appropriately examined and unpacked on the page it is in effect reinforcing and normalising this language. And ableist language, in particular with regards to mental illness, is incredibly common and regularly normalised in society. If you're going to write a book about mental illness, especially one targeted to a young audience, you have a responsibility to do better and to educate your readers. It's important to be cognizant of the ways in which words can harm people, and ableist slurs are harmful. Unpack that shit. Call it out. As a writer for a young audience you need to be aware of this and try to do better. I'm done staying quiet when authors casually throw around ableist slurs about mental illness and treat this as normal or acceptable. It's not. Do better. And it's something I'm no longer willing to overlook in books, especially books that are specifically about mental illness. Your audience is already vulnerable, so treat them with more respect. 
 I also have concerns about the disability representation in this book. If the only disabled character that exists within your story is used solely as a source of tragedy and pain to drive a main abled characters story arc that is a problem. Disabled readers deserve better than this narrative and disabled characters deserve to be treated as more than an emotional plot device that affects the life of the able-bodied character. 
 Problem 2) 
 This book romanticises mental illness. 
 Honestly, up until about the three quarter point in this book I was generally fairly impressed by the narratives sensitivity, honesty and insightfulness. The descriptions of depression felt so genuine and accurate. Sure, there were hints at romanticism, with the love interest describing the protagonist as "sad like me, and screwed up as that is, it's pretty beautiful" but it wasn't too overt. That is until the main characters kiss and suddenly "he's no longer the person I want to die with; he's the person I want to be alive with". I'm not even kidding, the main character actually says "loving you saved me. It's made me see myself differently, see the world differently". 
 It is like literally overnight a switch is flicked in her brain and the main character is somehow able to move past her depression. Just like that. She basically decides to 'get over' it, like it's that goddamn easy. Because romance, you guys. It cures all. It gives you a reason to live. 
 No. Just no. 
 Alright, let's unpack this. Because this is such a damaging notion and I'm so incredibly tired of books about mental illness that do this to be honest. It is not only dangerous, but completely untruthful and incredibly harmful. This is not how depression works. It is not a choice. Love may be powerful, and finding someone who can understand and fill that desperate need to connect is certainly important, but it is not a magic cure. And yes, you do have to choose to want to heal and recover, you have to commit to that process, but this book completely misrepresents what is required to work through a mental illness. If you have been living with severe depression to the point that you have constructed a detailed suicide plan you do not just wake up one day and decide to be happy, even if you fall in love. There is no switch in your brain that suddenly turns all of that off. You can wake up one day and decide that you are going to find a way out of the darkness, but that is just the start of your journey. There are a lot of things that need to be addressed and dealt with as part of the healing and recovery process, and this story shows absolutely none of that. 
 And look, I'm fairly certain that the author was trying to explore the idea that in order to conquer mental illness you need to reach out and build connections in the world - you need to find people who understand and relate, who allow you to share the darkest and most vulnerable parts of yourself - in order to help you to move forwards. That the commitment to overcome the darkness and fight is a choice that has to come from you. And I agree, recovery is not something that is usually achieved alone and you have to be willing to do the work. But the way this book romanticises mental illness is just not alright. Don't simplify it like this. Mental illness is a disease, and it is far more messy and complex than this. 
 So, yeah if authors could please, kindly please, stop doing this, that would be amazing. I get it though, it's not all neat and tidy - with a happy ending all tied up with a pretty ribbon - this way, is it? But newsflash, that's reality. For a lot of people mental illness is something they will battle with for years, if not their entire lives. It is not something that will just be 'cured' in one day, especially not without work and most definitely not because you fall in love. If only that was all it took. 
 And yes, we absolutely need to see in fiction that happy endings are possible for people who live with the severe effects of mental illness, but we also need to see that portrayed honestly and truthfully. And this book doesn't do that. 
 Problem 3) 
 This book reinforces stigmatising and socially damaging perceptions of mental illnesses that are not only misleading but encourages discrimination towards those who are mentally ill. 
 To be honest, I find it incredibly insulting and hurtful that in a book about mental illness part of the plot centres on the main characters father, a man who reads as likely having bipolar disorder (I think), who is in jail following a violent crime in which he murdered a teenage boy. 
 "My dad got angry. Really angry. He started shouting at them and Timothy and his friends thought this was really funny for some reason so they knocked over another display and one of his friends grabbed a few candy bars and threw them in the air, daring my dad to do something about it. So my dad grabbed the baseball bat from behind the counter and went after them. I guess Timothy stepped out in front and tried to reason with my dad, but he just snapped. Nobody could stop him. By the time the police came, Timothy was unconscious and my dad was just sitting next to him, still holding the baseball bat like a madman" 
 HEY, authors, HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T FUCKING DO THIS, yeah? 
 Because here's the thing, this plot point plays into some incredibly damaging social stigmas that surround mental illness. It plays into this concept that people who are mentally ill are violent and dangerous, that they should be feared. This is a myth, but it is everywhere. The reality is people living with mental illnesses are far more likely to be victims, not perpetrators, of violent crimes. And yet, in every fictional medium that exists - whether it is books, television or the big screen - this narrative exists. That it is the mentally ill individual who commits violent crimes. 
 Consider what this says to people who live with mental illness. You start to think this is how society views you. And that hurts. Because it's everywhere. And yes, I agree, this is only one book. But the problem is that it is not just one book. It's the way, over and over and over again, mental illness is portrayed. Violent. Criminal. Dangerous. You get slapped in the face with this narrative repeatedly, and it adds up. It continues to perpetuate this stigma that already exists in society. And I'm sorry, but authors, you have a responsibility not to add to that stigma. 
 And hey, here are some studies just in case you don't believe me; 
 -"People with psychiatric disabilities are far more likely to be victims than perpetrators of violent crime (Appleby, et al., 2001). People with severe mental illnesses, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder or psychosis, are 2 1/2 times more likely to be attacked, raped or mugged than the general population (Hiday, et al.,1999)." 
 - "the prevalence of violence among those with a major mental disorder who did not abuse substances was indistinguishable from their non-substance abusing neighbourhood controls (Stuart, 2003)". 
 -"Although studies suggest a link between mental illnesses and violence, the contribution of people with mental illnesses to overall rates of violence is small, and further, the magnitude of the relationship is greatly exaggerated in the minds of the general population (Institute of Medicine, 2006)." 
 - "The absolute risk of violence among the mentally ill as a group is very small. . . only a small proportion of the violence in our society can be attributed to persons who are mentally ill (Mulvey, 1994)." 
 And don't get me wrong, I understand this was not the author's intent and I get what she was trying to achieve with this back story in terms of the main characters story arc, but it is damaging and problematic and I really wish it had not been included. 
 Problem 4) 
 This is something I don't want to talk about at length as it is not my lane (being neither American nor a POC myself), but I do have concerns about the way this book plays into certain aspects of ethnic stereotyping that I'm aware are problematic in America (where this book is set). It made me somewhat uncomfortable that in a community described as being primarily white in text, it is literally the only adult male POC who is portrayed as a mentally ill violent criminal. I kind of feel like this plays into this stereotype that is often portrayed in media and fiction that people of colour are more likely to be violent and dangerous criminals, and I do feel like this is very stigmatising and harmful. Perhaps if the character in question had received a more fleshed out story arc I might have felt differently. 
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 On the whole this is not a book that I would recommend, especially to readers who live with mental illnesses themselves. It had so much potential, but instead it devolves into a romanticised love story filled with harmful representation. I honestly do wish mental illness was this simple to fix, but it's not. Authors, your readers deserve better. They absolutely deserve hope, but they also deserve honesty. Stop playing into these stereotypes and for fucks sake, stop romanticising mental illness. Trust me, it's not romantic.