DNF at 12% 
 I found this book to be harmful to me as a trans reader, so much that I DNF'd, particularly as I understand from other reviews by trans readers that it gets worse, not better. 
 This book presents trans life as inexorable misery with no hope or allies, full of bullying, misgendering, and gender policing, where even your best friend who supposedly supports you and has your back as a trans guy, will still coerce you to paint your toenails pink and come out as trans when you don't want to. 
 We are told that the trans MC is invested in surviving, but not shown where that resilience & investment is coming from, how it's found. If you are going to have readers sit in bleakness like that, you also really need to show the roots of hope. In depth. This feels like a performance of the misery of being a trans teenager, for cis readers. Who could think this is good for trans teen readers? 
 My experiences of misery as a queer trans person have never been one-note like this. It doesn't feel real. We have complex lives, things intertwine and co-exist. Even when there's a pile-on in my life, I'm doing things to manage it, to survive, to find hope and connection, looking for pockets of comfort. Yes, being misgendered every day sucks and is awful. And there can be hope and joy and connection and escape ad fantasy in a life that contains misgendering and trans oppression. 
 Telling stories full of inexorable bleakness are about evoking pity and distance and dehumanization and othering. They don't actually build empathy, which is the kindest read I have of the books intended purpose (which it does not achieve). I know it was written for cis people, but it is not good for cis readers either, to read this kind of depiction of trans lives. 
 It's also boring, and not very well written. Gabe doesn't really come through. It's like a series of accounts about his gender but I don't witness him having feelings or thoughts or reactions to these situations and difficulties. It doesn't have a strong voice or good characterization. For example, we are told Gabe has a crush. But I don't feel it with him, don't get to witness his yearning or frustration or fear or embarrassment or despair or whatever he feels. I don't have a sense of him as a person. 
 I worry that trans readers dream too small. That we take scraps and feel grateful because at least we are tossed something. At least someone acknowledges us. I want us to dream bigger. I want trans YA with compelling voice and riveting plot and no deadnaming and trans teen characters who have friends who actually have their backs. I want trans YA where trans teens know/meet other trans people and are connected to community and have complex arcs and are deeply characterized. This book fails to do any of this, and these things are essential. 
 Trigger Warnings 
 I cannot give full trigger warnings, as I DNF'd. 
 (view spoiler)[ persistent use of trans characters dead name, persistent misgendering. pressure to come out as trans, bullying, gender policing. I understand from reviews by trans reviewers that the character gets outed and is targeted by physical violence as a result, and is depicted as thanking the person who outed him. (hide spoiler)]