whoops I'm just posting this now, but I wrote this right after I read it. I have come to terms that I probably won't make this into a video for some time, but here's my entire script if you want to know my thoughts (also if there are camera cues, that's why). If I do make this a video, I will link it here: 
 Harry Potter and the Cursed Child by JK Rowling, Jack Thorne and John Tiffany is the newly released "sequel" to the perfection known as the Harry Potter series. For those of you who have been living under a rock and have no idea what this is about, this is set nineteen years after the battle of Hogwarts and it kind of follows what everyone is up to now. Jo didn't actually write this, she sort of laid out the storyline, but she did very little in the actual writing process. This is actually written as a script, since this is a play in London right now. Jo did say that she would love for the play to go on a tour around the world, but whether or not that is going to happen depends. There are also rumors about a movie and Warner Brothers did register the title in case it does ever happen. 
 I'm going to start off with a little disclaimer: I am a huge Harry Potter fan. I've been reading the books ever since I learned how to read and even before then my dad would read them to me as bedtime stories. My entire childhood centers around these books and I wanted to see this play succeed. I'm not saying that it failed or that this play changed my opinion of the Harry Potter series in any way, shape or form, but I just thought that this needed to be put out there. With that said, I can't say that this book even comes near the Harry Potter series. 
 I think a lot that had to do with my less than stellar thoughts is the format. I just don't think the script format works for Harry Potter, especially for this particular story. I missed out a lot on being inside the characters' heads and there were also huge issues I had with some specific scenes and understanding what was going on. This was a relatively short book, about 300 pages. If this book was, say, 800 pages of prose, I think I would have enjoyed it more. Prose also would've given the writers time to explain the gaping plot holes in the story and make everything more plausible. Everything happened so fast without a moment to process what was going on and it also made it extremely hard to visualize things. 
 I was actually watching the Harry Potter marathon on Freeform the weekend this came out, so I ended up visualizing all the actors from the movies with the sets from the movies. I even read the entire thing in the actors' voices, which is hard considering that they all have British accents. I don't think that it is interchangeable to just go ahead and stick the script inside the book when you need more understanding of what everyone looks like, facial expressions, movements, positions, scenery and so many other things. 
 There were things I did enjoy, my feelings about this book weren't entirely negative. I had a lot of laughs throughout the book and the characters retained some of their trademark spunk. I did have some feels but a lot of them felt rushed along with the rest of the book, usually in Harry Potter we kind of bask in those sad feelings for a long time. I did manage to create a ship in the 300 pages of this book, but I'll talk about that in my spoiler section. 
 And for the million dollar question: do I consider this canon? I'm honestly leaning towards no right now just because there are so many plot issues that I don't think I can accept this as truth. Maybe my opinion will change but I honestly don't believe that this is what became of our beloved characters. 
 That's all for my non-spoiler section, so if you haven't yet read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, I suggest you leave now if you don't want to be spoiled and come back when you have read the book so we can discuss. And if you, somehow, haven't read any of the Harry Potter books yet, go do yourself a favor and pick up the first book. I promise you won't regret it. 
 (view spoiler)[ When I opened this book at Target while I was waiting to buy it I gasped so loudly that everyone just turned to look at me because the first pages were from the epilogue of Deathly Hallows. I love that epilogue so much and I was hit with all those feelings from the first time I finished the series and sat in a corner, crying because it was over. It was an emotional time. 
 Since the start of the book, I shipped Albus and Scorpius so hard, like I FedEx'd it and everything and they have to rip that AWAY FROM ME! I truly hated everything when Scorpius asked Rose out. I'm sure they'd be a great hetero couple or whatever but I was so sure that Scorpius liked Albus, especially since he got upset that Albus kept talking to Delphi. 
 Um, can we just talk about Delphi for a minute? First of all, who trusts someone named Delphi that's twentysomething and interested in hanging out with fourteen year olds? These kids are clearly idiotic, I don't know what it was but the fact that they didn't suspect her immediately bothers me. Also, her entire existence just seems like such a FanFic thing to have. How did Voldemort and Bellatrix manage to not only fall in love but CONCEIVE A CHILD DURING A WAR?!?!? Not only that, but Bellatrix managed to hide the fact that she was pregnant from everyone else? From what I've gathered from the books, Bellatrix was thin, so it wasn't like it would've been easy for her to hide the fact that she was pregnant. Also, Voldemort did not understand love or anything near it, if you remember from book one, so how could he have had a child? Love and lust are different but I don't think he actually wanted a kid. 
 If you recall the montage in the beginning of the book, where it goes through the first few years of Hogwarts, I did enjoy the montage but I accidentally read Lily Potter as Rose Granger-Weasley at the end, which led to a whole bunch of confusion. I thought it was some sort of dream sequence that Albus had regarding what would happen if he was sorted into Slytherin. It took me a few more scenes until it occurred to me to reread that last page and realize that I read it wrong. I did like that Albus was in Slytherin because it showed that Slytherin isn't for "the bad kids." In Deathly Hallows Part II, McGonagall actually told Filch to put all the Slytherins in the dungeon and I got so angry because that just assumed that all the Slytherins were Death Eaters. 
 The whole time-turner thing also felt underexplained and I needed a lot more background before being able to believe this. Apparently, there are hour time-turners, which is what Hermione had in Prizoner of Azkaban, but there are also long-term ones. I was able to understand the whole 5-minute rule, but that's where my understanding ended. I was so annoyed that their first course of action after messing things up in the past was to go back in the past to try and mess things up further. Clearly if Harry said no to Amos, there's a reason for it. When they went in the maze and the time-turner was going off for the five minutes, how did the time-turner bring them further back in time for almost a full twenty four hours? I think that Delphi destroyed it once they got there because she planned to live with her father, but we needed some explanation on how that happened. While they were in the past on Halloween, yet another question I have is how did they manage to get that blanket off Harry, put whatever they needed to on it, then put it back on Harry without anyone noticing or Harry crying? Babies are wrapped tightly in blankets and I don't think that James and Lily would just leave him on the street unattended. Did they climb in a window? Also, wasn't the whole house enchanted so that you couldn't see it unless Peter Pettigrew told you the exact location? How did they even see the house in the first place? 
 I felt like Jo was trying to answer to every question and theory that the fandom ever had. I think a lot of the time-turner stuff had to do with the fact that people wanted time travel to come into play in the other books, so she thought to incorporate it and expand on it now. Also, after her reveal that she wished Harry and Hermione had ended up together, I felt like she was trying to overcompensate for that by showing that Ron and Hermione were in love in every single alternate reality and they were going to renew their wedding vows. The fandom accepted Romione a long time ago and I don't think what happened in this book is really going to affect that. Along with that, Ron felt like such an empty version of himself and not at all like the ACTUAL Ron Weasley. 
 As for my favorite part, I think it was seeing that alternate reality where Voldemort won the Battle of Hogwarts because it showed so many things I wanted to see. We got to see the good side of Snape, even when most people fighting against Voldemort had died, he still stood for Dumbledore. When they said that Cedric became a Death Eater, which I thought was a stretch but whatever, and that he killed Neville Longbottom and everyone was so shocked that Neville had the potential to save everyone, I was so proud of Neville. Having rewatched the movies, you really get to see him grow and step up to the task of protecting Hogwarts because he didn't see anyone he thought was fit for the job. Hermione was a criminal running from the law while still trying to fight in Harry's memory. AND HERMIONE IS MINISTER OF MAGIC OH MY GOODNESS I ALMOST FORGOT I'M SO PROUD OF MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GOLDFISH HERMIONE!!! Harry is head of the Aurors, I forgot the official-sounding title and Ron runs the joke shop which is so right for him. We never really got to hear about any of the other Weasleys (IS GEORGE OKAY, I'VE BEEN SO WORRIED) and I want to know where they all are. We also heard that Harry's Aunt Petunia died, which I'm not terribly sad about or anything, but it's hard to see any of the original slew of characters die. 
 My one star is only for Scorpius Malfoy, that beautiful smush of a child because I love him so very much. He was honestly the best thing about the book and I didn't expect to love him as much as I did. If anyone could love Albus Potter, it would be Scorpius. (hide spoiler)] 
 So that is all for my review, I'm sorry it's coming to you so late. Let me know what you thought of it, I'd love to know.