Behold -- the book that nearly fried my brain with all the pop-culture references: 
 It's Armada by Ernest Cline! 
 If you didn't know, Ernest Cline also wrote Ready Player One, which I've heard is a lot better than Armada -- and I do plan on reading it. Eventually. It's just not really a first priority book on my TBR list right now. 
 This book follows Zack Lightman as he realizes that no, video games are not just for fun. Yes, video games were actually developed by the government to find suitable people to recruit to control the battle drones the government built to defeat the aliens that are trying to invade/destroy Earth. Yes, someone Zack thought was dead is actually alive, and yes, his imagination is becoming a reality, MUST ZACK REPEAT THAT THOUGHT A MILLION TIMES IN THE BOOK. 
 Seriously. 
 *ahem* 
 Armada was the January Book of the Month for the Wandering in Words Book Club, and I have to say, it wasn't a very good book club book, but I am so glad I read this because... 
 1) I was exposed to the world of arcade gaming, which is something that I'm not really interested in, but I still enjoyed learning about the classic games of Armada and Terra Firma (when someone mentions those games, now I can say with pride that I know what they are. Books are wonderful sources of knowledge and trivia.) 
 2) The conspiracy theories and explanations of the games were so detailed and well-thought out. I didn't pay much attention to whether the conspiracy theories made sense or not, because once again, this book wasn't something I really wanted to read longer than I needed to, but this book would be like the Harry Potter series is for me for someone who knows about and loves arcade video games, Star Wars, and pop culture. (I got probably 30% of the pop culture references, which isn't the worse percentage possible, but I was confuzzled. Very confuzzled.) 
 Did I like anything else? Nope. On the back cover, USA Today did a blurb and said that "[Cline] even weaves a sweet romance into this hero-vs.-villain tale." 
 Let me clarify something: there literally was no romance. (Not that I wanted any -- but I felt like the book could have just done without the less-than-well-developed romance.) Those few paragraphs of interaction between Zack and Lex in which Zack happily notes that Lex's black bra is showing from underneath her tank top most definitely does not count as romance, in case that ever needed clarification. And if I were agree that fine, there was romance in the book, then it was very poorly written and executed. 
 I want to go ahead and list out more of my thoughts, but before I go on, I do believe that Armada would be a wonderful book for those who like pop culture and arcade video games like Armada and Terra Firma -- it just wasn't the book for me. I mean, I used to play Minecraft and my brother introduced me to Five Nights at Freddy's (I was actually amazing at FNAF. *pat on the back*), and I also used to play Sims. And yes, I've been to an arcade, and I've played many classical arcade games. I am a traveler of the world as well as a traveler of books -- but video gaming isn't the thing I like to do to occupy my time. If you're reading this post an you're thinking, OMG ARMADA AND TERRA FIRMA AND STARS WARS AND POP CULTURE = LIFE, then read Armada! I hope ya like it! 
 Let's get started with this book chat, which from this point on will contain 
 SPOILERY THOUGHTS!!! 
 I think about fifty pages of the book was dedicated to Zack meeting people on his spaceship, all of them saying, "Wow, Zack, you look so much like your father!" and Zack responding, "I've been told. Thank you!" 
 *face plants into udon noodles* 
 We get it. Zack looks like his father that apparently was alive all these years -- but must we get pelted with that information every single time Zack meets someone who knew his father (which is basically everyone in the gaming world?) 
 (And does that mean that Zack has been gaming with his father in Armada his entire life? That actually is kinda mind blowing to think about...) 
 As you may know, many of the pop culture references flew over my head -- but I was so happy when I got an Of Mice and Men reference in the book. 
 "They'd been saddled with this nickname after our class read Of Mice and Men in sophomore English. I didn't think the moniker really fit. Yes, they were both big and dumb, but deep down, Steinbeck's Lenny had been a kindhearted soul" (82). 
 While reading this book, I realized how many of the things in this novel were simply stated -- kind of like telling, not showing. And though that may seem like something that would really decrease the enjoyment of a reader's reading experience, I burst out laughing (in my mind, of course -- this books didn't warrant actual laughing out loud, unlike Lucky Few by Kathryn Ormsbee, WHICH IS A BOOK EVERYONE SHOULD READ) whenever those sentences came up. 
 I mean, this is just hilarious: 
 "You have desecrated our most sacred temple.... For this there can be no forgiveness. We are coming to kill you all" (130). 
 I guess I was expecting a declaration of an alien invasion to be... more dramatic? Instead of the blunt, "We are coming to kill you all"??? 
 Also, allow me to add on to the-romance-that-was-not-a-romance. After Zack meets Lex, and he's off to battle those aliens, Zack thinks, "You [Lex] might be the girl of my dreams and I'll probably never see you again" (170). 
 Um, okay... 
 -You literally just met her. 
 -That seems to be an extreme thought for someone YOU JUST MET. 
 -Also, why does Zack like Lex? Please remember that Zack was first attracted to Lex because she was wearing a black tank top at the beginning of the book. 
 -I feel bad for Lex. 
 -She should know better! 
 -_- 
 Also, the fact that Zack's father started calling Zack Son -- capital S Son -- really bothered me. It's alright to have "Son" sprinkled in Zack's father's dialogue once in a while, but more than three times on one page is kinda too much. 
 Need more directly stated stuff? Here's more "romance"! 
 "Graham sat next to Debbie, and only then did I realize from their body language that the two of them were crushing on each other in a big way. Milo noticed it, too, and rolled his eyes, then nudged me and nodded at the two of them, then at Chen and Whoadie, who were both making furtive eye contact" (223). 
 The ending revealed that there were no alien species -- there was just a piece of machine with artificial intelligence that wanted to test and decide if the human species should continue to live or not. And apparently Zack saved them all -- or something like that. 
 This book was right in the middle for me -- 5 out of ten stars -- though for someone else, it could definitely be a favorite. 
 I give this 5 alien-invasions-that-actually-weren't-alien-invasions out of ten! 
 Thanks for reading this book chat, and cya next time! 
 ~Renell Aysling