** spoiler alert ** 
 Although I enjoyed the book, one of the things I found most frustrating is that Charles as a narrator was not a particularly self-aware or intuitive person, IMO. I don't think he understood himself or others, and his detachment seemed less about him being an objective observer and more about him just not connecting to people or understanding their motivations. The result is a somewhat unreliable description of these complex people. About 2/3 of the way through the book, I was hoping that Anthony Blanche would take over as narrator! Blanche (my favorite character) seemed to have everyone's number and, when he put aside the snarky tone, was pretty insightful about what was going on. He also seemed to have a sense of who he was as a person, unlike Charles who was sort of trying to figure himself out. 
 The first half (or so) of the book was lovely and Charles as a young man was charming in his desire to connect with the Flytes. His infatuation with Sebastian, who was one of those people who alternate between drawing you in and making you tear out your hair, was sweet. I think Charles wanted so much to belong to a family, yet he had no idea how one functions - the disputes, the challenges, the caring, the understanding that exists between family members. 
 Once Charles and Sebastian split, I didn't feel that same energy in the story. Sometimes the search for oneself can be interesting, but I just didn't feel that from Charles - he seemed to become very passive and didn't continue to grow. Because of this, I think he was my least favorite character by the end - it wasn't so much that I didn't like him as it was that I didn't really care about him after a while. In some sense, he seemed to become like his father but less interesting and more self-absorbed. 
 As one raised Catholic but now a non-churchgoer - the role of Catholicism in the story is interesting to me. It is a way of isolating the family from others in their peer group and of exploring religion in one's life. In the Flyte family, there is the full spectrum of "belief", from full acceptance of the dogma (but not perhaps the spirit) in Lady Marchmain and Bridey to the concepts of doing/suffering/sacrificing in Cordelia to the confused/not-quite-disbelief of Julia and Sebastian to annoyance with the Church in Lord Marchmain. Although aspects of this are a little dated given changes in the daily practice of the faith, these general grouping seem about right to me - even an "organized" religion is interpreted by individuals. 
 There is a lot of debate among readers about the relationship between Charles, Sebastian and Julia, and then later between Charles, Julia and Celia. I think, for Charles, his few years with Sebastian were the happiest in his life - he loved Sebastian and their time together gave him family, a taste of something new, a place to belong. When he lost Sebastian, I think he spent his life trying to fill that void - with painting, with Celia, with the Flytes, with Julia - he tried to recapture what he had with Sebastian. I say this because he didn't seem to grow as a person and because he was so very self-centered. His treatment of his children was very sad and he struck me throughout the last half of the book as very lonely and empty. 
 On Ryder's father - I just loved this character, even though he would certainly not be on the list for "father of the year". Perhaps this is because of Sir John Gielgud's portrayal of him! Other than sometimes hearing the voice of Jeremy Irons as I read, Sir John and Sebastian were the only other characters I recalled from the mini-series. Although I'm sure his father's lack of attention and affection contributed to his behavior, Charles seemed to take detachment to another level.