This isn't a review so much as a public service announcement: Do NOT buy this book. Buying this book may cause feelings of extreme violence. The best thing about this book is that it's paperback, thus causing little to no damage when you ultimately throw it across the room. I got through it solely so I can return it as soon as possible. Other reviewers, notably Hellion, have articulated the massive FAIL of this book. Believe them. Say NO to whatever drugs the publishers were on to greenlight this book. 
 This has been a public service announcement.