i just ...god i have literally no idea how i actually feel about this series? like i absolutely love it but also i really hate it and it's just so ???? i mean obviously i must like it bc i keep reading it but it seems like more things about it make me angry than things i actually like ...i think that basically i love hsin and emilio so much that those few great moments make wading through the rest of this series worth it to me but overall i feel like there is just so much wasted potential and also boyd annoys the shit out of me. i don't even know what i'm doing anymore.