So... I was wired on Christmas Stocking candy while writing this. I'll warn you once. Only read the underlined parts: 
 Unearthly's all about earth stuff. Just Kidding. It's not. Just Kidding. It is. Just Kidding. It's not... It's about UN-earth stuff. Like angels. Just Kidding. It's about devils. Just Kidding. I'm evil like a devil. Just Kidding. I am evil like a G6. Just kidding. I'm actually fly like a G6. Just Kidding. I don't even know what a G6 is. Just Kidding. Of course, I do. It's a cybernetic butterfly. Just Kidding. But wouldn't a cybernetic butterfly be cool? Just Kidding. This book was about cybernetic butterflies. Just Kidding. This book tells the story of Ellie Monroe, I mean, Clary Fray, I mean GARGAMELLLL. Just Kidding. It's about Clara Gardner. And if you don't already know that you must be living under a rock. Just Kidding. Why would be living under a rock? Unless you are a worm. Just Kidding. I know a worm. Just Kidding. No really, I do. Just Kidding. There are no worms in this book but Clara Gardner is part angel! There's also a really hot guy named Tucker. Maybe he knows where to find some worms. Just Kidding. Not really because... He's a cowboy. Cowboys should know something about worms. Just Kidding. There's another really hot guy named Christian, and Clara has a strange connection to him. They're actually Siamese twins. Just Kidding. They're not. Just Kidding. They are. Just Kidding. No really, they are. Just Kidding. I know: I'm evil. Not really. But there is an EVIL angel after Clara. Just Kidding. Angels can't be evil. Just Kidding. Yes, angels can definitely be evil. Exactly like this review. Just Kidding. You should read Unearthly because I said so. Just Kidding. But really... You should read this book. Do you really need more reasons than two hot guys and ANGEL vs EVIL ANGEL? Well, too bad. Just Kidding. No really. That's all I got. 
 Just Kidding. 
 No seriously.