And so it ends. 
 Once I knew the end was coming I grabbed my favorite blanket and hid myself under it to finish this damn thing. I needed to create a safe environment for my feelings. To say it didn't work is an understatement. 
 Anyways. I am so broken. I want to go all my way up to Adam Silvera's house and scream at his face. WHY. WOULD. YOU. EVER. 
 Guys, this book is amazing. 
 "You kept me alive when we were apart. I promise I'll always do the same for you." 
 This was my first book by Adam Silvera and it's safe to say it did not disappoint. Everything fom beginning to end is drop-dead wonderful. I knew from the very first page it would wreck me, and I was damn right. This book deals with some pretty deep shit such as grief, distance, losing people you love, mental illnesses, just to name a few. The author narrates everything with such kindness, but also giving it all the seriousness and heaviness it deserves. He takes your hand and guides you through these people's stories and lives, taking you to the past and back into the present, and not once did I feel lost or confused. So golden star on that. 
 And now, the characters. Oh my GOD, the characters. Everyone is so nice and real, I just wanted to hug them all. Especially our main guy, Griffin. He is so lost and fucks up a lot but I really got to empathize with him, I guess mainly because I went through some situations similar to his. I also had a Theo in my life (maybe we all do). But seeing him trying to grow and outcome his inner fears and limitations filled me with pride. I want nothing but good things to happen to him from now on. He's suffered long enough. 
 "Maybe if we keep letting things crash and burn, everything else is bound to fall back in place. Or maybe the fire will grow." 
 The big thing about this book, I am just now realizing, is that, even in its sweet moments, it is heartbreaking. See, you are reading about Griff and Theo's history, but you know from the very first page the reality Griff and everybody else are living in the present. the next thing is not really a spoiler since it's said in the fucking synopsis and you know it from the beginning but i don't wanna upset anyone so. (view spoiler)[ Theo is fucking dead. (hide spoiler)] All the fluff you get between Griff and Theo are memories, and you know exactly where all of that is leading. So yeah, it's pretty harsh. Heartbreakingly harsh. 
 As I said before, this book also deals with mental illness. Griff has some pretty serious OCD. At first I thought the author was going to romantizise the shit out of it, and I got mad. I have a friend who suffers from this stuff, all these "quirks", and it fucks with her head. But farther along the line I understood where he was going with it, and I am satisfied with how he treated the subject. He doesn't neglet its importance nor does he establishes it as a fun, weird thing or what the fuck ever. 
 The story over all is really well executed. When you start reading, you already know the beginning and the end. But you lack everything that happened in the middle. Silvera really nails the way of narrating the whole thing, keeping the story alive. It doesn't get boring and you are constantly wondering what the hell happened for things to develop the way they did. This book is filled with some unexpected plot twists, which I was really grateful for. Especially because, even when you are not expecting them, they don't feel out of nowhere, either. They are not random. Everything is well thought and runs smoothly. In case you couldn't already tell, I am blown away. 
 "You're dead, and I'm the worst kind of alive." 
 I am so happy I read this. Sure, my heart is broken and I don't think I'll ever watch Harry Potter or Star Wars the same way, but I am so happy. Heartbreakingly happy. Also, I wish I got a sneak peak on how Griff is doing a year from now. I need to know he is okay. 
 So guys, go ahead and read this. I'll be locked in my room hearing to this book's playlist I found on Spotify. i don't know who did it but here is the link , in case any of you feel like joining me 
 "People need people. That's that."