** spoiler alert ** 
 While reading this, I was so sure what I would write here. What I felt reading it and if it changed something in me. Now that I have finished, I have no idea if I actually like it or not. Ava Dellaira writes in a very unique way, so you can practically feel Laurel's pain and loss. The book very much reminds me of Stephen Chbosky's "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", which I loved so much that I wrote my English final about it. It basically covers the same topics: coming off age, sexual orientation, losing a loved family member, sexual assault/rape etc. Just this time the main character was female. And it's an epistolary novel. 
 Basically, Laurel has a very special childhood (the word special isn't meant in a "good" way), her parents get a divorce and her sister spends most of her time going out and hooking up with this older guy called Paul. May and Laurel have an interesting relationship: May tells her younger sister stories to take her fears away and Laurel wants to be just like her (after May's death, it even becomes kind of obsessive). They go to the movies together, and May leaves Laurel with her boyfriend's friend Billy who sexually assaults her at the age of 13. In the night May dies, Laurel tells her about it and May who is drunk, starts crying and goes to the edge of a bridge, where she falls into the river and dies, and Laurel blames herself for that. Laurel tries to cope with that loss but since her parents are divorced, she is alone in her pain, because she doesn't like talking about what happened (I think she is scared her parents might hate her). She befriends those two girls called Hannah and Natalie (who are into each other, but Hannah is scared and doesn't want to "come out", so she dates (older) guys who she doesn't really like) and falls in love with a boy called Sky (who also had a thing for May but eventually falls in love with Laurel). Laurel writes letters to dead famous people talking about what is happening and what has happened in her life (kinda like a diary). Although she has those people, Laurel feels lost and alone and she can't help it. In the end, eventually, after she decides to talk to her friends and family, she gets somehow better. She is still not really over her sister's death (whom she loved very very much), which is understandable. Her last letter is written to May, in which she tells about what she's going to do now and she is seeing a therapist, who kind of helps her too. 
 Since I've read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower", I wasn't really intrigued by the characters or the overall plot because it was just repeating Chbosky's story with almost the same characters. What I really liked or at least preferred over Chbosky was Dellaira's writing style. I have this habit of writing out quotes that I especially like and keeping them in a notebook. So I wrote a bunch of them. I also liked that the author included "queer" characters (you don't often read books which include lesbian characters). I also think that Dellaira did a good job of showing how people with depression and maybe PTSD feel (Trigger warning tho! I had to take some breaks while reading because I just couldn't go on - which is why it took me so long to read this book). Like in Perks music and literature played an important part in this story, or just famous people in general (my favorite one was that letter that was addressed to Heath Ledger in which Laurel talks about his daughter and how he wanted to build a cinema in their garage, I actually teared up reading that). 
 To sum up, although it's just a story repeating itself, I still keep thinking about it, about parts of it, that I reread. I loved the authors style, so I hope she'll keep writing (maybe a "new" story this time).