Abandoned for now and maybe forever because of sentences like this : 
 EXAMPLE THE FIRST 
 Context - our 10 year old hero is engaged in stealing a Coke from the Coke machine in the teachers' common room in school in order to impress a girl called June. He has already tried and failed to smash the clock in the gym hall as a tribute to his new love : 
 It occurred to me that maybe the Coke I was getting for June, if a strong poem were taped to it, would come closer to approximating a smash-faced gym-clock than would a Coke without a strong poem taped to it. Granted, I couldn't make a strong poem, but there was no doubt in my mind that a weak poem was a closer approximation to a strong poem than was no poem, and therefore a Coke with a weak poem taped to it was a closer approximation of a smash-faced gym clock than a poemless Coke, so I wrote a weak poem in my head, in the doorway. P76 
 EXAMPLE THE SECOND 
 Once the sound-code failed, we tried a time-code, i.e. we agreed that at certain times we's revolve to face each other. Benji and I, for example, agreed that we would revolve at every eleventh, seventeenth, thirtyfirst, and fifty-third minute of the hour, whereas Vincie and i would revolve at th second, twenty-seventh, and forty-fifth minute, and Benji and Vincie at the fifth, thirty-ninth, and fifty-eighth minute. p201 
 So I guess this is supposed to be hilarious stuff. Or just not hilarious but stuff you would anyway want to read. 
 So, you takes your Murphy and Molloy by Samuel Becket and your Skippy Dies by Paul Murray which is a stand-in for any recent school story because I haven't read any others recently, and you throw them in a Hasidic blender and out comes this kind of prose. 
 And finally... 
 (view spoiler)[He's NOT the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy! (hide spoiler)]