Warning: Unforgivable Spoilers! 
 42. Bring a towel. :-) 
 P.S.: *sigh*. As some mustachioed motherfucker in tights once said, "brevity is the soul of twitter". Or "levity is solely for half-wits". I'm pretty sure both of those sentences arrive at the same station, but if they don't, I was just kidding AND I meant to do that. It ain't Shakespeare*, but it works (and no, I won't clarify who or what I'm referring to with that sentence... why should I have to make sense when I write stuff? The reader should meet my brain-dead rambling halfway past confusion and just north of chaos). 
 If you're one of those indecisive beta/gamma/delta-types who needs someone to hold your hand for every metaphorical crossroad and actual crosswalk - or you need a gargantuan >145-character review every time you want to buy a book, watch a movie, or plan a murder - fine: 
 This book smells loudly and pleasantly and often. It tastes even better, with twice the daily colors recommended by proctologists and voodoo priests. 
 [Also: Two shots to the back of the head; avoid the impulse to immediately brag about it to that girl you've gone out with twice and that nosy neighbor who hates you; and the only word you should ever say to the police is 'lawyer'. Politically, I'll boldly court controversy by declaring myself a bit more 'Anti-murder' than 'Pro-murder', but I can't let all those episodes of 'The First 48' go to waste.] 
 You can't argue with that. But reviews are for suckers... when it comes to books, and movies, and murder, just trust your gut and pull the trigger. You don't want to be one of those sad fuckers who's always thinking and whatnot. And if your gut's malfunctioning, and getting you into 1000-page King and Koontz and Rothfuss-based predicaments, the answer to every problem is always drugs. Math problems are the exception, since the correct answer to every math problem is 42. And drugs are the answer to only a disappointing 58% of all parenting-related quandaries. 
 Jeebus fucking Crunch... I feel like I just wrote a book about reading a book. 
 *Is it Shakespeare...? No, of course not. The answer is drugs.