I have a love hate relationship with Gayle Forman's "If I Stay" Novel. Ever have a relationship like that with someone? It's usually someone you're in love with or will eternally love. You hate things about them but at the same time without those things they wouldn't be the ones you love. That is exactly how I feel about this book. Last time I loved a book this much was when I read "Shout down the moon" by Lisa Tucker almost 3 years ago. If I Stay by Gayle Forman is a book that breaks your heart from the first 15 pages... then breaks it again 30 pages later... and again 50 pages later until your face is streaked with tear marks and you're emotional as hell. I locked myself in my room and when my sister came to ask me something I told her I was at a VERY emotional part and she should come later. She saw my blotchy read face and the tears that never stopped spilling and literally sprinted away. 
 I officially declare myself an idiot for having this book on my shelf since may (4 months ago) and only now deciding to read it. I've read reviews about it but then I read the synopsis and decided it was another silly teen romance. This book is beautifully written. It felt like I was part of their world. While reading a chapter towards the end, I'd remember things I read at the beginning of the book as if they were a part of my memory, like I was there, with the characters, which is why I felt so invested in the story. Also, the book could have ended up in two ways and while I'm usually up for the happier ending. This time I didn't know where my heart swayed. One page it was to the left, and the next page it was to the right. 
 I cried buckets and the book is filled with tear marks.. and even now, while writing this review I'm tearing up, because this book touched my heart. It made me thank god that I have a family and a life that many people end up losing. Losing them when they least expect it. 
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