HER PERFECT LIFE 
 IS A PERFECT LIE. 
 As a teenager at the prestigious Bradley School, Ani FaNelli endured a shocking, public humiliation that left her desperate to reinvent herself. Now, with a glamorous job, expensive wardrobe, and handsome blue blood fiance, she's this close to living the perfect life she's worked so hard to achieve. 
 But Ani has a secret. 
 There's something else buried in her past that still haunts her, something private and painful that threatens to bubble to the surface and destroy everything. 
 With a singular voice and twists you won't see coming, Luckiest Girl Alive explores the unbearable pressure that so many women feel to "have it all" and introduces a heroine whose sharp edges and cutthroat ambition have been protecting a scandalous truth, and a heart that's bigger than it first appears. 
 The question remains: will breaking her silence destroy all that she has worked for--or, will it at long last, set Ani free? 
 ***I received this a copy of this book for free from simon and schuster in a goodreads contest. 
 Opening my package and taking out my brand new novel (squeee!), I notice several things. The title is in bold yellow that captures your attention, and then behind it is a rose. A black rose to be exact. To me, I interpret that as something both beautiful and deadly. 
 "My favorite strategy is to feign inferiority and encourage my enemy's arrogance." 
 This story starts in the present. Ani FaNelli is a successful editor at a popular women's magazine in NYC. She has a doting, wealthy fiance. She's also preparing to do a documentary on the high school she attended. For all intents and purposes, she has the perfect life. Except, it's not. The book continues by going back and forth between past and present until we learn who Ani is and why she is the way she is. 
 "There was no way I was mugging for the camera if I hadn't checked off all the boxes in the hotly contested "having it all" category: cool job, impressive zip code; hungry body, and the kicker--dreamy, loaded fiance." 
 "Sometimes I feel like a windup doll, like I have to reach behind and turn my golden key to produce a greeting, a laugh, whatever the socially acceptable reaction should be." 
 Writer at a too women's magazine, check. Engaged to a man who comes from old money, check. Wardrobe and body any girl would be envious of, check. You can practically see her crossing these off an internal checklist. Ani is a girl who goes to extremes to reinvent herself and separate herself as far from her past as she can. I can completely see where she's coming from. Even the strongest feminist can succumb to the pressures put on women. Being in my late 20's, I have to constantly check myself on not being too hard on myself for not yet being married and for still settling into my career. For Ani, it's a bit worse because she went through, not one, but two very traumatic, life changing experiences in her high school years that left a lot of scars and damage. If I put myself in her shoes, I can honestly say I may have disciplined myself, like Ani, to make sure I had every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed to go back and show the people from my past how far I've come. 
 Oh. My. God. I just got to the part where Ani (view spoiler)[was assaulted by the boys. I'm just so fucking horrified and disgusted by this. This is the part of the story where Margo needs to show up (from Tarryn Fisher's Marrow.) No wonder this poor girl is the way she is. Not only did she go through an absolutely horrific experience, but she also becomes the school joke. Why is it that a girl gets gang raped, and then she gets labeled the school slut? (hide spoiler)] 
 Of course she's not the first person to fall victim to these kids cruelty. Ben, a former student at Bradley, was tormented and assaulted for being gay and eventually tried, unsuccessfully, to commit suicide. 
 Mr. Larson, a just out-of-college teacher, has heard all the gossip and has approached TifAni about rumors of her being (view spoiler)[assaulted by the boys (hide spoiler)], but she, being a normal teenage girl fearing the loss of her social status and "friends", shuts him down. 
 "The way Mom looked at me, sometimes you just have to feel bad for parents. For all the ways they think they know you. The mockery their kids make out of them when they find out otherwise." 
 A girl who was told over and over again that she was worthless. Not pretty enough. Not rich enough. Not skinny enough. Who has made it her life's work to prove that she is worth something. She's made it her goal to go back to her tormentors with evidence that she was "worth more than my previously determined value." 
 Ani is about labels. Not just about looking like she has money, but looking like she's old money. She works at The Women's Magazine. Disregards a better offer at a different magazine because it lacks the recognition of her current company. The well bred fiance. 
 Holy fucking hell!!!! I've been pondering what the documentary was about. What could've possibly been so horrific that it gave Ani such notoriety. Omg omg O.M.G. I can't even express my thoughts right now. So insane. 
 As Ani begins to work on the documentary for Bradley and prepares for her upcoming nuptials, her past and present collide. She has to decide if she should continue the life she said thinks she should have, or if she should live the life that will make her happy. 
 Is she a likeable character? Not necessarily. I can't seem to find her unlikeable either. Ani is one of the most real characters I've ever read. She's shallow and manipulative, but still has a side of naivety. . I love how Jessica Knoll writes the main character so flawed. It take a minute to decide how you feel about her. I've been thinking about this book since I finished it two days ago and have been recommending it to everyone I know. Luckiest Girl Alive has been compared to Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl. I don't know if I agree because I feel like Gone Girl was more on the suspenseful side. They are both similar in that they are dark and twisted. This book was psychologically stimulating and I devoured it. This story definitely allows for a lot of discussion about the pressures women go through even now in 2015. About how what happens in your youth can shape who you become as an adult. There's also a lot about peer pressure and how the general opinion of a large crowd can hold someone back from speaking out about something that happens. It's also every eye opening about the cruelty of teenagers. I think it has so many topics anyone could relate to, and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys a thought provoking novel! 
 "Moving on doesn't mean you don't talk about it. Or hurt about it. It's always going to hurt."