Let me be blunt with this review: I am completely undecided with this book. I can't even write a real review for it because I still, months later, have not processed it. Does that make it a good book? Does that make it bad? I don't know! I know it makes me angry, so maybe it's a bad book? Let me just hit some notes in place of a real review: 
 ***So much internalized homophobia. Vada maybe/maybe-not liked Ellis the entire time because Vada couldn't admit she's gay. In fact, Vada HATED Ellis because of her feelings. She bullied Ellis. She manipulated Ellis. She actually hated Ellis because of internalized homophobia (that was not addressed even by the end) and Ellis put up with it. 
 ***Vada and Ellis were positively toxic. When they were on screen together, I wanted to put the book down. I was so uncomfortable. Even by the ending, I'm still not convinced they ever liked each other. There's so much they haven't worked out, mostly stemming from Vada's side and her crappy treatment of Ellis, that I can't buy a happily ever after. 
 ***The cam sessions were the most interesting parts of the book. The rest of it was so slow and boring, and predictable, that it took me forever to read it. Literally the title of the book, the whole premise, and there were maybe three entire cam sessions. The only time when Vada was interesting was when she was being fake in front of the camera. As soon as she was back to being herself, she was horrible. I'd have preferred more camming. 
 ***The writing was odd. At some points it would be purple prose (and Vada being an artist, this is fine) but it never really worked. It was easier to just tune out and skip over some paragraphs. 
 ***Have I mentioned how Vada treats Ellis? Before I start reading a book I make some notes in my reading diary. A particular note reads: "Hopefully it's a positive reflection on sex workers and, hey, maybe a positive reflection on lesbians for once!" Sex workers? Yeah, I think so. None of them are demonized or slut shamed or (surprise!) killed. But when it comes to lesbians? No, when it comes to the LGBT+ community? Eesh. Major eesh. Vada struggles with internalized homophobia. Ellis struggles with gender identity. A trans girl is swept under the rug. While these are real problems and real struggles people face daily, I think it's the fact this was sold to me as a "happily ever after, great representation!" kind of book that makes me hate it. Nothing is resolved with these struggles. Vada treats Ellis like literal crap and you expect me to buy a happily ever after?? 
 ***This book was dedicated to Leelah Alcorn. I get mixed signals from the author with this gesture. I think it was supposed to be a type of love letter, but with the way the characters are treated I don't actually know what it means! 
 ***When the plot got interesting about 300 pages in (keep in mind Vada is still treating others like trash) then I found myself plowing through the book. But it's just not worth it. It's not worth getting through the constant abuse to figure out if there's really a happily ever after.