Interview with a Vampyre: 
 (view spoiler)[My name is AUTHOR and I wrote a 65 page kindlet with blood sex murder tears (I might have forgotten the other killer ingredients) and so now YOU are ALL gonna sit up and register my name and (view spoiler)[Audience Interruption: Someone get a knife and put the bugger out its misery (hide spoiler)] read my book and click me into amazon rank heaven (hide spoiler)] 
 Rather musty smell around here.... 
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 But wait...Murder in the Dark.....one by one likes are vanishing, dribbling away, reviewers, like bees deprived of honey, buzzing busily, thirsting greedily at the pot...well, gone dry....and SUDDENLY *loud drum roll, brilliant burst of vunereal musak, it appears! The Goodreads Killer! Slurper of likes, usurper of rankings! The crowd screams and cries out NO! MORE!