"I'm not a witch," I repeat. "I mean, I did have witches' herbs. And I did take them. But I'm not a witch." Even to me, this sounds weak. 
 This book compares itself to Game of Thrones. Don't even. Just don't. 
 I wanted to strangle the main character repeatedly. She is so stupid. Don't get me wrong, I don't like perfect characters.I don't like it when they accomplish everything, but neither do I like it when, by 30% of the book, they have completely fucked up everything they set out to do. 
 Bumbling is the best word for the main character in the this book. She reminds me of one of those chibi hyper anime girls. 
 She's perky! She's cute! She talks with a lot of exclamation marks! She needs to be bound, gagged, and knocked out with chloroforn because I can't fucking stand her constant "Aw, shucks! Here I go again fucking up and being adorkable!" attitude. Actually, that did happen, but unfortunately, being chloroformed didn't shut her up for long. 
 So we have: 
 1. Fatally stupid main character 
 2. World building with more holes than a hipster's jeans 
 3. A LOVE TRIANGLE. Isn't that sweet 
 Elizabeth Grey is a 16-year old prodigy. She is a witch hunter in a world that hates witches and wizards, therefore she should be revered for killing them, instead she is feared and hated and would be killed if she were discovered, therefore she has to keep herself hidden as a maid within the palace as a normal human. She is, of course, an orphan. 
 Simple, right? Elizabeth is (from the blurb) "one of the king's best witch hunters," therefore, it is pretty astounding to discover, right from the beginning, that she constantly fucks up. 
 "And no more mistakes, okay? I can't keep covering for you." 
 I think of all the things I've done wrong in the past month. The witch I chased down the alley who nearly got away. The chimney I got stuck in trying to find a hidden cache of spellbooks. The cottage I stormed that didn't house wizards brewing potions but a pair of aged friars brewing ale. They're just a few mistakes, true. But I don't make mistakes. 
 At least, I didn't used to. 
 So this powerful awesome 16-year old witch hunter is off to her next mission as we start the book, and immediately, she fucks up. 
 "What the hell happened?" 
 "I don't know," I say. "I guess I made a mistake." 
 After a long day of fucking up, she goes with her fellow witch-hunter (and love interest #1) to a pub. As if fucking up wasn't bad enough, love interest #1 revealed that *gasp* he's dating another girl. Heartbroken, Elizabeth buries her sorrows by drinking a horrifying quantity of absinthe. Underaged drinking aside, drinking a type of alcohol that was banned by France for years (come on, FRANCE! This is a country in which children were weaned on red wine. It's pretty bad shit if France bans it), and then going home alone isn't the best idea ever. She runs, or rather, stumbles drunkenly into a few shady men in a dark alley. 
 "Pretty." I wave my hands, trying to catch the ribbons of light spiraling in front of me. A chorus of voices fills the room then--they're coming from the rainbow. "Listen. Can you hear that? The rainbow is singing!" I open my mouth and sing along with it. "Greensleeves, la-la-la who but my Lady Greeeensleeeeves..." 
 Obviously, going with some strange men when you're out of your mind drunk is not the best idea ever. 
 He picks his pipe off the ground and tucks it inside his cape, then he takes me by the arm and leads me to the door. I take offense to this. He really shouldn't be touching me, him a pirate and me a young girl and all. And I definitely shouldn't be letting a strange man lead me outside and to God knows where. But I can't seem to stop singing long enough to tell him this. 
 But the fun doesn't stop there, because this top-secret witch hunter is so drunk she practically reveals who she is to the strange men. 
 "No. It's just... I didn't know maids were allowed to go to masques." 
 Damnation. He's right, of course. Maids can't go, but I wasn't going as a maid; I was going as a witch hunter. Not that it matters, since I'll be wearing a mask and no one will see my face anyway. 
 So she's a highly trained witch hunter who completely loses control of herself. Welp, that's just great. Who the fuck trained her to be so deadly, Celaena Sardothien?Because she allowed herself to get so drunk, she somehoe bumbles into yet another mess that sees her arrested for being a witch. 
 "Elizabeth Grey, by the authority of King Malcolm of Anglia, I am commanded to arrest you for the crime of witchcraft. You are hereby ordered to return with us to Fleet prison for detention and to await your trial, presided over by the Inquisitor, Lord Blackwell, Duke of Norwich. If you are found guilty, you will be executed by burning, your land and goods forfeit to the crown." A pause. "So help you God." 
 She gets put in jail to be sentenced to die, but luckily, she's rescued by the very people she captures...the wizards! (who don't know she's a witch hunter) And the first thing she does once she's rescued is to...reveal that she's a witch hunter. 
 "You prowl around the king's palace like a rat in the rafters." George holds up a finger. "You crushed a glass in your hand, yet there's not a scratch on you. You're all moony over this Caleb, who just happens to be the new Inquisitor." He holds up three fingers now. "And where'd you learn to throw knives at birds like that? The circus?" He narrows his eyes. "You're a witch hunter." 
 Bloody brilliant. Despite all this bumbling, despite all this idiocy, she is still the special girl who holds the key to everything. You expect me to believe that shit? 
 "Stop." He sticks his leg out in front of me. "I'll tell you. You're here because Nicholas needs to find something. Whatever it is, it's important. According to Veda, you're the only one who can get it." 
 The world building is confusing as fuck. So we have the fictional country of Anglia in which magic is banned. Witches are burned at the stake, because 5 years ago, there was a plague that swept the country...and it was started by wizards! Therefore, all magic is now bad, evil, no good. 
 What the fuck? 
 First of all, how the fuck did they discover that wizards started the plague? I mean, a plague is a plague. We had the Black Plague and shit throughout history, tons of people died. To my recollection, nobody knew how it was caused. The main reaction to the plague was: OH CRAP, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE. It wasn't: OH CRAP, WE ALL HAVE THE PLAGUE, EVERYONE'S DEAD, LET'S KILL ALL THE [ALLEGED WITCHES, JEWS, CATHOLICS, NON-CATHOLICS, ARABS, VEGETARIANS, INSERT NAME OF PERSECUTED GROUP HERE]. 
 If the wizards and witches are so smart and magical, why didn't they disguise it better? Who discovered that it was started by them? Why kill all the witches and wizards when, apparently, magic and non-magical people have coexisted together for all this time? 
 But now they're killing and burning all the witches and wizards, a wizard has taken over the throne (secretly) and then there are witch hunters (who have magic, too). The end result of this is the wizards and witches (who have magic) hate witch hunters (who have magic) and vice versa. The humans (who don't have magic) hate the witch and wizards (who have magic) as well as the witch hunters who seek out to capture the witch and wizards. 
 Makes perfect sense -_-