For Beatrice - 
 I would much prefer it if you were alive and well. 
 Like the first two and the fourth, I don't remember much about this book, but I do recall that I enjoyed the character of Aunt Josephine because she was such a weirdo. Not that anyone in these books is anything close to normal, but her weirdness was more entertaining. And like all the adults in this series she was an idiot (view spoiler)[and thus is no more (hide spoiler)]. 
 I remember enjoying this more than The Reptile Room and maybe even more than The Bad Beginning, but I would have to reread those to know for sure and I'm not doing that. Wikipedia reviews were sufficient to get me caught up to where I left off at The Austere Academy in 2006, and they lack the charm of the author's prose that makes these things worth reading, but that's just the way I've decided to roll with this series. 
 Author's Bio: 
 Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. A studied expert in rhetorical analysis, Mr. Snicket has spent the last several eras researching the travails of the Baudelaire orphans. His findings are being published serially by HarperCollins.