4 STARS 
 What a terrible feeling to love someone and not be able to help them. 
 I have so many mixed feelings about this book. Mostly, I think, because of my own personal experiences. I do wonder if I hadn't lived the life that I have if this book would have effected my so profoundly as it has. It's been hard for me - less than 24 hours after finishing it - to look at it with a more critical eye on things like pacing and characters because it's genuinely hard for me to put aside my personal feelings. 
 That being said I'm going to try to be critical - because I think that books about mental illness are important and its important that we get them right. I think this book got everything mostly right and it made me feel incredibly emotional when I read that the author, Jennifer Niven, has written this book semi-based on events that she experienced herself. I don't want to spoil it for people who don't guess/know what the ending is - although I think in this case it's not so much that the ending needs to be a surprise so much as it's about the journey and what follows the ending. 
 First, let me talk about the regularly things. The writing in this book was lovely - although the characters for me (besides our main man Finch) were a little cliche.... a little too cardboard cutout, made to fit the one purpose that they have in the book. You know, there's the bitches and the bullies and the jocks and the damaged girl and the damaged boy and the quirky friends. I'm not sure if that is the American High School experience but that wasn't my high-school experience. I mean, sure, there are people that you could generally categorize as those things but I think things get basic when your characters are really just one thing only. 
 "You are a survivor..... The bad news: Surviving this will be the second worst experience of your life. The good news: The worst is already over." 
 For me the savior of these characters was Finch, which is good because he is the main character. He is my type of guy but I have seen mention how much he is like Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars - but I don't get that. I'm one of the few people who did not like TFIOS and Augustus Waters annoyed me with all his quotes and theories. Finch quoted and theorized and I like it A LOT coming from him. Mainly because Finch's theories and quotes are mostly about death - which is not as pretentious as AW about love and life. 
 I think the pacing of the book was good - I read it all in day. It was a page turner, it made me laugh, I bawled my eyes out too. 
 I think Finch is like Gat from We Were Liars or Cluck from The Weight of Feathers. I don't know why but there is something about his aura that just reminds me of them - slightly damaged, wise beyond their years. The kind of person that you know has figured out the secret, but couldn't explain it to you even if they wanted to. 
 Theodore "Freak" or no freak, he is lean and good-looking and trouble. 
 I recommend this book to everyone - just because we need more books about depression, bi-polar and mental illness. I think that eventually no one should say "He/She killed themselves". We should say "He died from depression". Saying that they killed themselves is implying that they had a choice in the matter - when really I don't think there is much choice involved. Because like cancer, depression is a life threatening illness that so many people battle alone. 
 "Dearest, 
 I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. 
 I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been." - Virginia Wolf's suicide note