My initial reaction on finishing this? In the overused words of Anastasia Steele: 'Oh my...' 
 If that two-word response just made you cringe, run along now, and save yourself the trouble. Because Ana says this a lot. A whole lot. Ana also constantly refers to an inner goddess and a (judgey, cranky) subconscious as a way to express her desires without using an inner monologue. Readers have reviewed this as annoying or odd, or downright ridiculous. Personally, I thought: hmm, quirky. This is a fairly unique way to demonstrate the whole ID, ego thing. But, this was an initial opinion. And like everything, moderation is key. When Ana's inner goddess started back flipping and dancing the merengue, and the salsa, and begging on bended knee... my eyes rolled so far back in my head I lost my place on the page. 
 Here are several other things Ana does: she resolves to stand her ground, fails to stand her ground, signs away her right to stand her ground, becomes so infatuated with Christian and his hair and his long fingers and his helicopter (I'll give her that one) that she FORGETS she has ground to even stand on... 
 You get the picture, right? 
 Good. Because I wasn't sure what to expect starting this one. With all the hype, I wondered whether I'd end up disappointed. Then again I already felt disappointed that the book had gained popularity purely for the erotica element. Surely there was more to it than that? 
 There was! 
 And whilst I can't say I LOVED it, I will say I certainly didn't HATE it either. I'm on the reader fence. 
 Ultimately, what does it for me (besides the sex!) is the twisted intensity of Ana and Christian's relationship. There are times when it is sweet, and funny--and their banter, particularly via email, is witty. The dialogue in the email exchanges is natural and easy--even more so than their face to face encounters. That's the good side of their relationship. Then there's that exciting wine-and-dine me phase--Christian's mysterious allure, his power, all the bits of Mr Grey that make you swoon even when you're trying really hard not to. 
 BUT the bits that REALLY intrigue me are Christian's darker shades. Christian reads like a kinky, more fucked-up Heathcliff/Cullen hybrid; but what REALLY gets me is the reason behind it all. For me, it's not about romanticising the borderline abuse from Christian for which the author is often slated for. It's about WHY he is the way he is. I'm drawn to dark novels in general and this intrigue around Christian's character is compelling enough to keep pulling you along. 
 So the writing isn't phenomenal... big deal. So it started off as a Twilight fanfic... big deal. 
 All I want to know is what could make a human being who on one hand, is a kind, generous, hard-working man, turn out to be so fundamentally messed up on the other hand. Because let's face it: Christian is a hot mess. And while I can read several pages and focus solely on the HOT element, sooner or later, that MESS is harder to ignore. 
 And yet, all I want to do is hug him. Figure him out. 
 Piece by piece the story reveals itself but still, it doesn't add up. It doesn't satisfy. Like Ana, you want more. And so, when you think no one is watching, you sneak off to get book two and silently ask that the literary gods don't hold it against you.