Confirmed - VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. Not even in the future. And not in the graphic novel Fray or as I shall refer to it: the Gospel According to Joss. I don't know what Edward Cullen is, but he is not a vampire. THIS is a vampire: 
 He doesn't need to sparkle. 
 My long-standing suspicions have now certainly been confirmed. Vampires, or "lurks" as they apparently call them in the future, are bad-ass, blood-sucking jerks who don't give a flying frak about your feelings. Unless they have miraculously been gifted with a soul or maybe if they are interested in the one thing all men are interested in, sex, whether they are a fantastical creature or not. Okay, so there's a lot of debate as to whether or not they care about your feelings, but they sure as hell are not mini-fireworks-on-a-stick. 
 Meyer has already admitted that her werewolves are not really werewolves, but actually a type of shape shifter. So maybe we just haven't discovered the true classification for her so-called vampires, yet. Maybe they are just really shiny cannibals? 
 Oh and fluffy shape-shifting puppies are not the nemesis of vampires! These guys are: 
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 At least, in the Gospel According to Joss. 
 Joss Whedon really has a way with words, whether they are strung together in a simple or complicated fashion. He can make any line classic. One of my favorite quotes from the Buffy series consists of only four words. "Fire bad, tree pretty." A perfect tongue-in-cheek way to illustrate the extent of the damage caused to Buffy's thought processes, as a result of the Graduation ceremony. 
 Another favorite: Spike's classic response to Buffy when she asks him to describe what he was doing in front of her house in five words or less. "Out. For. A. Walk...Bitch." 
 His opening words always draw me in. 
 The Buffy Season 8 comic book intro: "The thing about changing the world.... Once you do, the world's all different." 
 Opening lines for Fray: "Bad day. Started bad, stayed that way." 
 They're simple and say so much with so few words. 
 This graphic novel is basically urban fantasy set in a sci-fi environment or pretty much Buffy meets Firefly. Go figure. That shouldn't be a surprise. 
 Melaka Fray is the first slayer to be called in hundreds of years after the mysterious disappearance of an unnamed previous slayer. As a young mercenary who does job-runs for some shady characters, it's not out of line to say that Fray kicks ass. And she kicks it good. She ends up having to learn the ways of the slayer and help try and prevent the onset of the apocalypse! Because the apocalypse is such a rare thing in the Slayer world... 
 Here's an exchange between her and her sidekick demon Urkonn (without all the pretty pictures, of course). 
 Urkonn: You met your watcher yesterday. 
 Fray: I did? I didn't! 
 Urkonn: Did not one come to you, call you the chosen one? 
 Fray: Nobody ever called me any OH MY GOD you mean that guy - that one that set himself on fire! 
 Urkonn: As I said, fanatics. 
 Fray: But he set himself on fire! 
 Urkonn: Centuries of useless, obsessive waiting. Makes a human... 
 Fray: HE SET HIMSELF ON FIRE! 
 Urkonn: Maybe he was cold. *shrug* 
 I must warn you about one part that is like EWWWWW. WHAT??!??! Trust me, you will know it when you see it. All I was thinking "Please. Please, explain that one to me." And of course, he doesn't. Typical. He's a twisted man, my Joss. That part could certainly have been left out and had it been - I dare say that this book would have been perfect. 
 I was eagerly tapping my foot for about 4 months on the library reserve list before I finally received it and had to return it right away because there were still people waiting on it after me. It was well worth the wait. It's full of action, unique characters and gorgeous artwork. I mean, the artist used Natalie Portman as a reference when designing Melaka Fray's look, so obviously she's beautiful. 
 This is definitely a great introductory graphic novel if you are a first timer, and it's a MUST READ for Buffy and Joss fans. It's short, sweet and wicked awesome. And of course, hilarious. All the classic traits you expect from Joss Whedon and from a Buffy spin-off. Although, I think there is another version of Buffy that would be entertaining... 
 And then Buffy staked Edward. 
 Man, do I love this man!! I LOVE YOU, JOSS WHEDON! As excited as I am to see the Avengers movie, I really wish he would please come back to TV. We need him and I miss Buffy. I know, I know. Buffy is over. Deal with it. Obviously, I'm having a hard time letting go. 
 Joss is a creator, not a re-creator. Screw the Avengers! Okay, yeah, so what if I'll be the first person in line at the midnight showing. We need Whedon TV. He should have his own damn channel, not Oprah! 
 If Joss Whedon sold a single skin cell in a petri dish on eBay, I would be there bidding until the final second, in hopes that I could tuck it under my pillow and some of his creative proclivities might seep into my brain through osmosis. Or that some day I could clone him and make him my own-personal-TV-show-writing-genius-slave. "Make me a Buffy episode, Bi-atch!" 
 Just kidding. I would never use such language when speaking to the king of everything good and decent in the world. 
 Vampires, brown-coats, and dollhouses, oh my! 
 All right, my love letter to Joss Whedon is over. For now...