Please hear me out before you stone me. 
 I wanted to hate this book. I've heard so much bad about it and its pussification of vampires and what a bad role model Bella is that I wanted to hate it. Since I haven't seen the movies, I figured it was time to check out the books. Did I love the book? No... but I didn't hate it either. 
 Bella Swan has moved to rainy, overcast Forks, Washington. Bella is a helpless teenage girl who can't walk ten feet without tripping over something. She is stoic, withdrawn, unexciting and unexcitable. I mean it. If she got on a roller coaster she wouldn't scream in excitement; she would be the only person sitting with her arms folded making a pouty face. Nothing seems to reach this girl. 
 Nothing except for Edward, the suspiciously handsome boy in Biology class. For some reason, she is taken by him, becomes obsessed with him, even though he is cold and withdrawn. Her pulse quickens whenever he looks in her direction, whenever he comes near... After some 300 pages, Edward finally talks to her, admits he's a vampire, but instead of killing her, he sweeps her off her feet. Even though she doesn't deserve to be, Edward swears his life to her, vowing to protect her, never leave her and always take care of her. 
 I thought I would hate this, but to my surprise the book explains all of it quite well. Vampires hunt humanity, but they don't look like monsters. They are handsome, beautiful creatures to make humans easier to hunt, to earn our trust, to get close to us, to live among us and conceal their true nature. Really, it makes more sense, and that's why Bella has mindlessly fallen for Edward. 
 At first I didn't like Edward, but I liked Jacob. Jacob is the first boy Bella meets who actually talks to her like an equal, as a human being. 
 Edward is closed and condescending in the early chapters of the book. He sounds like a male character in an old movie. Mom and I joked about this all the time, how women are treated in old movies. 
 For example, take this scenario: woman sees monster outside window. She screams, monster disappears. A male character walks in. The woman tells him what she saw. Does the man say oh my God, we better check this out--or, are you all right--or, this might be the creature we've been searching for and we better stick together just in case? No. The man always says "nonsense. You were probably just dreaming and don't know what you saw. You must be tired; women see things when they're tired. Go to your room and get some rest." 
 Edward talks to Bella like this. She's right about what she saw, but the way Edward denies how he saved her life is condescending and insulting. Century-old vampire or not, that isn't how to win a girl. (Is it?) Meanwhile Jacob is open and genuinely nice to her, and yet she pretends to flirt with him to get answers out of him. From the start Bella is chasing the wrong boy. 
 Then midway through the book Edward finally opens up to her and explains himself... and his explanation is quite good. There's a very good reason he wasn't open and honest with her from the start. 
 But... what is Edward's reason for falling in love with Bella? Her scent. Bella's scent is completely right for him, and that's what he's drawn to. He's not really attracted to who she is; just to her scent. Is that really all it takes? That part is a little foggy and unjustified. 
 With that out of the way, the rest of their relationship is a Q&A session. Bella and Edward don't spend time together. They don't build a relationship, or a friendship, or a mutual bond. The book is about Edward being bound to her because of her scent, and Bella coming to terms with it. That part I don't care for, but honestly men have been doing this to women in stories for hundreds of years. So many TV shows, movies and books show the beautiful woman falling in love with an ugly man even though she doesn't have a very good reason to. Why not let the girls have their turn? 
 I really wanted to hate it, but I actually didn't mind the pussification of vampires. The sparkly skin thing made me laugh though. I'm still puzzled about why Edward expects Bella to be afraid of him. From his perfect body to his sparkly skin, nothing about him is threatening. Now if his skin were oozing venomous mucus and he breathed fire, I could understand this reaction, but he is described as the most beautiful thing in the world. Again, there's a good established reason for this. There's also a good reason he's in high school--a great way to blend in with the local human population, which they do because their mentor, Dr. Cullen, is teaching them to live above their predatory ways. Ok, that actually makes sense. Twilight makes a very good case for vampires to be this way. 
 But not Bella. I still gotta wonder about her. Bella is a klutz, helpless, useless, and clueless. When Edward kisses her, she is so overcome with emotion she faints. She FAINTS! Do women really do that, or did God forget to program the "fight or flight" reflex into them? She can't handle anything. Running with Edward through the woods makes her faint. A drop of blood makes her lightheaded. Kissing her makes her faint. She trips over everything when there's nothing to trip over... Edward? Do you like high-maintenance girls? Maybe there's another reason you can't read her mind. She really does set the image of women back 60 years. 
 I have a very hard time getting why Edward cares so much for her and is willing to put his entire family's lives on the line just for her undeserving ass. It's like he *has* to be in love with her. He *has* to protect her. He has no choice, and Bella likes that's he's dangerous and wants to kill her but is bound to protect her instead. I'm sure there's a name for this fetish. 
 The book doesn't portray vampirism as anything truly threatening or horrifying. It seems like the best thing that could ever happen to someone. I mean, you get movie-star good looks, sparkly skin, super strength, super speed, and possible telepathy, clairvoyance or other perks. What is so bad about being a vampire that Edward doesn't want Bella to become one with her? Maybe he fears her klutziness will turn into SUPER klutziness and she'll destroy the world. 
 I'm not head over heels in love with the story or the characters, but the book builds a world, establishes some very good rules, and sticks to them. I get the feeling diehard horror fans don't like the beautification of vampires, and I can understand why. It's very much a romance novel in that sense, but again, men have been doing this to women for centuries. It's about time the ugly girl met the unrealistically perfect man who is interested in her for no good reason. Revenge hurts, don't it, boys? 
 Bella is the helpless girl who's been thrown into a world she can't understand. Really, would any of us be better than she is? I like to think I wouldn't fall down as often, but still! Up against these superhuman creatures, what could any of us do? I'll admit she's much too helpless for my tastes, and at the end, instead of doing the smart thing and telling her new undead family what's going on, she decides to face the enemy alone. Stupid girl. But like a female Harry Potter, she has friends to rescue her even though she doesn't deserve it. Good thing her boyfriend finds this helplessness appealing instead of pathetic. 
 In spite of my objections to character motivation, the world it builds makes sense and I am curious to see more of it.