Edit February 24, 2012, after finally watching Breaking Dawn Part 1 (total copy of Harry Potter, as anyone can tell you, btw) online in two hours of complete boredom.... 
 I finally know how to review this book. And it is as such: 
 That Awkward Moment When the Movie Explains Things Better Than the Book: 
 "Jacob imprinted... Whoever a wolf imprints on can't be harmed; it's their most absolute law." Thanks for that line, Edward. I finally understand that it was just a plot-point in which Meyer forces Jake to be the creepy pedophile in order to write another 400 pages as opposed to ending the story right there with a wolf vs. vamp battle, and more's the pity....