Actual footage of my reaction to this book: 
 King's Cage. 
 KING'S CAGE. 
 It's about a king in a cage but also a girl in a cage made by a king! OMG! Do you get it? Do you get the symbolism? Are you impressed yet? Are you impressed? 
 Lady, save it, please. I got halfway through this fucking piece of crap and I couldn't do it anymore, so I ended up donating it. For that reason only it was worth PS10.99. I hope the person who got this book really enjoyed it because I was spitting tacks the entire time it was in my hands. 
 It was a waste of--no, not even a waste of money, just a waste of fucking everything. This series makes me explosively angry. Maybe you're thinking that's over the top, but I am sick to fucking death of books like this, series like this, that are absolutely nothing but cash-guzzlers. This book has nothing of value to add to the conversation and yet it thinks it does, and it has the gall to try to be "current" and "political" when it's about fucking nothing. I feel the same way about this series as I did about that Bone Season thing and bitch, do not get me started on The Bone Season. That book can see me next bloody Tuesday. 
 Why does this series rile me up so much? Probably because its so unbelievably redundant, and yet it pats itself on the back for being so clever, all the time. 'Oh, look at me,' this book says. 'I'm so in tune with current events and politics and I stand up for what's right!' But you don't. You don't add anything new and you certainly don't add anything from a perspective that I'm remotely interested in. I was promised "grey" characters, and that's certainly what I got: grey, dull, empty, lifeless cardboard cutouts stumbling around an underdeveloped plot, pulling the wool over my eyes while it serves as pure filler until the last book in this series. I did a bit of research, and this series was never meant to be four books - it was supposed to be a trilogy, and it should definitely have stuck to that, because what we've got here is something like five hundred pages of nothing while the author desperately tries to force us to like Mare. 
 I am never going to like this heroine. Ever. I don't care how many times the author and the publisher try to gaslight readers or push the narrative that misogyny is the only reason why nobody likes her. I hate Mare because she is a shite character with shite inner monologue that I genuinely could not care less about if I tried. She is written appallingly. I don't care how forcefully the other characters in these books try to construct a personality for her - she doesn't fucking have one. She is a limp, wet piece of lettuce. She is a period stain on the underwear of literature. I cannot stand her, and I am not about to lie down and accept being told by the fandom and the author that the only reason I hate her is because she's a woman. Like?? What?? Don't. Like I said, lady, save it. Save your projection and your defensive shite. People hate Mare because she is toxic and moronic and her narration is so laughably self-serious, and yet she comes out with these weird, cringeworthy spurts of what I suppose is meant to be "spunk" or "sass" or some such other agonizing pigeonhole that authors love to write their unlikeable heroines into. 
 Let me tell you something: I fucking hate this "spunky, sassy" thing. It is trash. What woman, right - what woman can relate to that. Women, please tell me if any of these heroines that have been labelled "spunky" have been relatable to you. Because to me it sounds like a lot of bullshit. It sounds like a cliche, like a patronizing mockery of women who actually are dryly funny, who stand up for themselves, who speak out. I am not ever going to buy this "sassy heroine" thing. Do you know what it sounds like? I sounds like the heroine is going to be dry and hilarious and outspoken. Do you know what actually ends up happening? The heroine has an unfunny, grating inner dialogue, and when she cracks some lame half-joke that isn't remotely amusing, all of the male characters around her will pat her on the head, sigh, and fawn about how she's "one of the guys". 
 I hate Sabaa Tahir's books, but I like Sabaa Tahir, and when she stops writing that Ashes in the Night thing, whatever it's called, I will read more of her books, because she is an author who, despite all of the issues I have with her works, never fell into this trap. She didn't do that bloody "snarky heroine" thing. It has no place in this sort of self-serious book, and even though it can, if it's written smartly enough, the last thing this book is, is smart. If this book is smart, then my ass, who can't even do the seven times table, is a fucking mathematical prodigy. 
 Basically, this series can eat me. After I read the second one, I told myself no more; but Glass Sword wasn't bad enough for a DNF. I got through it. This marks never again. I would rather do that 1000 DEGREE GLOWING KNIFE thing on my own foot than read the fourth book. This series can get to fuck. 
 Oh, and a footnote: the Scottish people are not looking for your "thanks", Aveyard. I know I'm certainly not, so please leave the politics that I am living out of your damn acknowledgements. We are not looking for your validation or your input. Cheers hen, BYE.