** spoiler alert ** 
 Okay, this was bloody brilliant. Also, bloody, brilliant. 
 MY ENTIRE REVIEW OF THIS GOT DElETeD AND NOW I AM PISSED AS FUCK. Sorry if I Keep it much shorter this time around. -.- I hate my life! 
 So I was basically saying that this is my favorite in the series (I've only read the first 5 book one time each) because by the 4th book I was completely trash for the series and completely immersed in the world! I also prefer the minor (less popular) characters like Jamie, the Iron Men and Brienne so I had absolutely no Problem with the Absence of Jon, Daeny and Tyrion. I thought it was rather refreshing and esp the way in which Jamie developed in this tale made me fucking proud!! 
 In the Seven Kingdoms 
 So much good stuff is going here but as always we start out with a seemingly pointless prologue which hits you right over the head by the end of this tale: So a novel of the citadel (in Oldtown) named Pate sells a key of the measters to a so-called Alchemist, soon afterwards Pate drops dead. 
 In King's Landing Tywin's funeral is held and Jamie the Bae can't for the life of him stay awake for a whole week to pay his respects to his father. Cersei is furious at him and I'm just like WTF she is the one sleeping and eating like a normal gal. Whatever, this book is also the tale of Cersei's Paranoia and self-destruction. The fills the entire council with her minions because she fears that the Martell will try to overrule (she even asks her uncle to become Hand but Kevan says only if Cersei goes back to Casterly Rock and stops being Queen Regent - you can guess how well that sat with her...). She makes the acquaintance with Qyburn and basically discovers that Wildfire is the fucking shit. 
 At the Wall, Jon orders for Sam to remove Aemon and Gilly (with a child swap that I saw coming, but Sam didn't) to Oldtown to Research the Others in the big citadel. Jon's ulterior Motive is to have no King's Blood available in Melisandre's reach (Aemon is Aerys Targaryen's brother and Mance son has King's blood because Mance is King-beyond-the-Wall). Daeron accompanies them. 
 On their trip Aemon grows weaker and weaker and foreseeing his death burdens Sam with all of his knowledge - he tells him of Daenerys and she fullfills the prophecy of The Prince that was Promised. Before dying (oh LORD did I cried, I loved Aemon so much) he tells Sam that he has to tell the Maesters of the Citadel to send aid Daeny's way. 
 Brienne is on her Mission to find the Maiden Fair of three and ten with auburn her. She is accompanied by Tyrion's former Squire - Podrick Payne. Along the way they get captured by the Brotherhood without Banners and Lady Stoneheart (aka resurrected Cat Stark) sees Brienne as a traitor because she saved Jamie and didn't return with her daughers. She offers Brienne a chance to redeem herself by killing Jaime; when Brienne refuses, Stoneheart orders her, Podrick, and Hunt hanged, AND WE DO NOT FUCKING KNOW IF BRIENNE GOT OUT OF THIS ALIVE BECAUSE THE LAST SENTENCE OF HER POV CHAPTER IS THAT SHE SCREAMED A WORD (probs Jamie, oh my Lord These twooo man) 
 Cersei has the High Septon murders and puts someone into Office whom she thinks she can trust. The new High Septon turns out to be a bitch (and I love him for it): He offers to Speed up Tommen's coronation and Forget the debts of the Crown if Cersei agrees to restoring the Faith Militant (and Cersei agrees to everyone's Horror; at this Point even the Reader who has never heard of this Corps before knows that that was a shit decision) 
 In the Eyrie Littlefinger is deceiving the Lords into letting him rule the Eyrie. He reveals to Sansa that if something should happen to little Robert, the Eyrie and the name Arryn will pass to Harrold Hardyng, a distant nephew of the house, and if Harry and Sansa were to wed, that would give her an army with which to reclaim Winterfell. THIS WILL BE FUCKING BRILLIANT but I fear for Sansa turning into a pawn. Also Robert is such a disgusting child, he makes me so uncomfortable, poor Sansa who was to pose as his mother figure. 
 Jamie departs from King's Landing to end the siege of Riverrun (the Frey and Lannister besiegers are still defied by Lord Edmure Tully's uncle and castellan, Brynden the 'Blackfish'). I was so damn proud on how he sovled this Problem because he showed wit and broke None of his vows (his vow to Cat to not Spill Tully blood anymore and the promise of ending the siege nonetheless). Shortly after the first snow falls and Jamie realizes WINTER HAS COME. 
 The Ironborn strike along the coast of the Reach and even though Margaery and Loras insist on Cersei for helping them defend the lands Cersei only agrees if someone where to take back Dragonstone. Loras sets upon this task successfully but gets gravely wounded. His fate remains unclear. Cersei growing more paranoid and wary of Margaery wants to ruin her and spreads the rumour that she is sleeping with one of her guardsman. However this plan backfires because the new High Septon tortures the Guardsman who then reveals that he slept with Cersei. Both Cersei and Margaery get imprisoned by the Faith. Cersei sents for Jamie (in a letter full of lies recalling her love for me) and then we have this beautiful Moment in which Jamie is unfased by the letter and orders it to be burnt (LIKE HELL YAAS DRAG HER). 
 Sam arrivess in Oldtown but soon learns that nearly two centuries ago the maesters helped kill the last of the dragons to rid the world of magic forever and will therefore not be of help (in Sam's quest to find help for Daeny). Sam is left in the Company of students of the Citadel one of WHICH IS NAMED PATE (like WTF who is that guy!!!) 
 In the Free Cities of Braavos 
 Arya becomes a novice in the House of Black and White, she learns that the Faceless Men are not only skilled assassins but also a religious sect that Dates back before the Doom of Valyria. A Girl has to become No One but Arya struggles with forsaking her identity completey (eg. instead of throwing Needle away she buries her sword in front of the temple and she also kills Daeron because he didn't live up to his vows of the Night's Watch). One night she even crosses paths with Samwell Tarly and I live for meta-moments like that!!! Due to the fact that she killed Daeron the priests punish her and strike her blind. This was one of my favorite moments of this book because blindness really fits Arya's character and makes her path more interesting. 
 On the Iron Islands 
 After Balon Greyjoy's death the Iron Men need a new king. Aeron Damphair (a mad priest, and brother of Balons) summons a kingsmoot and Balon's two other brother Euron (the Crow's Eye - rumour has it he molested Aeron when they were Teenagers) and Victorian (the cheap Version of Eddard Stark) Claim the Seastone Chair alongside with Balon's daughter Asha. The Ironmen are stupid af and crown Euron king because he tempts them with the unrealistic Goal of conquering the entire Seven Kingdoms. Euron wants to take Daeny and her Dragons (with the help of a magical horn) so he sends Victorian to Daeny to offer his proposal. Victorian however hates his brother (because his wife cheated with Euron and then he had to kill her because of her betrayal) and intends on keeping Daeny to himself. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I WANT NONE OF tHIS FUCKED UP MEN NEAr DAENY 
 In Dorne 
 I really appreciate that we got so many different POVs from different Locations throughout Westeros because it makes the Story much more complex and interesting and YAASS I'm all here for it. 
 I really like the Dornish Men and Women even though no one is as badass as my Little Baby Oberyn and I will forever mourn his death. --- The Sandsnakes (Oberyn's bastard daughters) want to avenge their father but King Doran of Dorne is having None of it and locks them up and sends word to Tywin that he remains loyal to house Lannister. Arianne - Doran's daugher - is pissed at him because of his weakness and tries to take matter into her own Hands and wants to crown Myrcella (after Dornish law) Queen of Westeros. Her plan doesn't succeed and in the execution of it Aerys (the Knight of the King's Guard who was sent by Cersei to protect Myrcella) gets killed. 
 In the end Doran reveals to his daugher his Grand masterplane (which is stupid af mind you). Doran was never loyal to the Lannisters and wants the Seven Kingdoms for his house - it was his plan to marry Arianne to Viserys (but that plan literally died when Drogo crowned Viserys) and so now he sent his son Quentin away to find Daenerys and propose to her. We'll see if that succeeds...