** spoiler alert ** 
 A strange book, this. The characters of The Great Gatsby ain't got nothing on the douchebaggery of the people in this tale. The lot of them are some of the most selfish, self-centered, petty, prissy, narcissistic people in literature. It's really quite impressive. 
 The story goes like this. Basil paints a picture of the most gorgeous 20 year old guy anyone has ever seen, a young man by the name of Dorian Gray. He's pretty much a rich twit, but rather innocent. Basil's friend Henry (though why anyone is friends with this man is a mystery) comes by during one of the sittings and meets Dorian. Henry is shallow as a pizza pan, and always running his everlasting yap. He's pretty much an everything-for-me-and-the-hell-with-everybody-else kind of guy, but also very witty. He's all about pleasuring the senses. Dorian is imbued with him, and they become friends. Henry mentions something about aging, and Dorian has a mental breakdown in which he offers his soul if the picture would age instead of him, and his wish is granted. 
 Dorian meets an actress, they have a fling, he tells his buddies how great she is, they go to the theater to see her, and she sucks ass because she's so in love with Dorian that she can no longer act. Dorian says she embarrassed him, and wants nothing to do with her anymore. She poisons herself (the death certificate lists it as "death by misadventure," a phrase which titillated me when I read it). When Dorian gets home, he sees his portrait is slightly altered with lines of cruelty appearing around his mouth, however the same lines are absent on his actual visage. He realizes that this could mean great fun, and hides the picture. When he finds out Sybil (the actress) is dead, he's distraught, but Henry pretty much congratulates him having a girl kill herself for him as it's the best way for a love affair to end. They go to the opera. Henry gives Dorian a book about living for one's self fulfillment, or something like that, and Dorian is quite taken up with it. 
 And so Dorian submits to every vice known to man over the next 18 years, and we get chapter 11. Chapter 11 goes on for days and describes everything Dorian gets into in order to feel new sensations. He tries religions, starts collecting jewels, perfumes, tapestries, antiques, music, and all of these things are listed in great detail in this chapter. He then starts to study ancient crimes and debaucheries and begins to see evil as beautiful. As he acts on his whims, his portrait becomes more grotesque, yet he ages not a day, and no blemish mars his perfect features. I describe this chapter as simultaneously impressive and tedious. In 1891 there was no internet. This man, Oscar Wilde, had to have spent weeks, if not months, in the library, or perhaps several libraries, researching everything that is put into this chapter. With all the work that had to have gone into it, it's a shame it's not more interesting. At any rate, it serves as a great halfway point for the story. 
 Chapter 12 starts us off with Dorian being 38, and having committed a ton of terrible deeds, but he's still so cute and innocent looking that nobody believes the rumors about him except those who witnessed them firsthand. Basil visits him, Dorian shows him the picture of his soul, and then kills Basil for being wussy, or something like that. He then blackmails an old, former friend into disposing of the body for him without leaving a trace. Somehow this old friend manages to do just that, then goes home and kills himself for having gotten involved with Dorian once again. Dorian starts feeling a tad bad about his deed, and goes to an opium den to numb the pain a bit. James Vane (the brother of the dead actress) finds him there and tries to kill him. However, Dorian shows him his 20 year old face, asks "could I have possibly been that man if it happened nearly 20 years ago? I'd've been barely born then," and James lets him go. A lady later explains that Dorian is evil and hasn't aged a day in 18 years. James takes up the hunt, but accidentally gets shot at a hunt club while laying in ambush for Dorian. The owner, or Henry maybe, says he hates it when one of the beaters gets shot because they usually close the club for the rest of the day. Still shallow. Anyway, Dorian is free from his assassin, but wants to turn over a new leaf. He's still pretty much stuck on himself, though, and tries to stab the picture. However when he does so, he gets stabbed himself, and dies. When his staff finds his body, they see Dorian in the portrait, but don't recognize the evil sinner lying dead on the floor wearing Dorian's clothes and ring. 
 I'm sure there are a bunch of references, social commentary things, allegories, symbolism, and whatnot in here, but I suck at pointing such things out, so I'm going to leave it all be. Enjoy the book if you decide to read it.