Mallory "Mouse" Dodge is used to being quiet. Silence has always been her shield, the barrier that protected her from her horror of a childhood. The one other protector she had growing up in a brutal foster home was Rider Stark. When Mallory starts her senior year of high school at a public school after four years of homeschooling, Rider is the last person she expects to see on her first day. But one thing is obvious- they both remember each other, and with that connection found again their past is dragged up and brought into light. Old memories and feelings resurface, new loyalties are tested, betrayals are made, and love is put to the test in the first YA novel from Jennifer L. Armentrout. 
 I couldn't believe my luck when I received an advanced copy of this book. I love Jennifer's writing, and her stories always leave me with a smile at the end and a couple dozen happy tears, so naturally I had high hopes for this book- and it did NOT disappoint. 
 The story centers around Mallory, a 17 year old girl who has trouble speaking. It's not that she can't speak- she's just terrified to do so. She grew up in the foster system of Baltimore, and the experience was not kind to her, having left her with some pretty bad PTSD. The one ray of light she had during those years was Rider, who promised to protect her forever. (Cue the sudden lightbulb behind the meaning of the title.) 
 Rider and Mallory were so sweet together. It made me hurt, physically. I'd just hit my head with the book and think, "Why, why, WHYYYY can I not have Rider Stark in my life?!!" I swear, the amount of romantic relationships I've formed with fictional characters is concerning, and Rider is my current boyfriend. He was so attentive of Mallory without being overbearing, even when their relationship wasn't romantic per se, and if he did somehow manage to overstep that line I really appreciated how Mallory would tell him so, and assert her independence. It seemed like he was the only character she could talk to like that in this book, but given their history I understood why. I also really liked how the author brought into question if Rider's feelings were genuine, or if they were just residual from when he considered himself Mallory's "protector" when they were kids. I enjoyed seeing that play out, and it answered a question that I had been asking as a reader. 
 The side characters in this book were wonderful. There were no characters that "faded into the background". They all contributed to this story. Mallory's relationship with her adoptive parents was portrayed in such an honest way- it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It was hesitant and real, and I really enjoyed seeing it evolve as the story progressed and Mallory became more assertive and confident in herself and her future. Hector and Jayden, Rider's closest thing to family, and Ainsley, Mallory's best friend, were all so well-developed and essential in helping Rider and Mallory grow and realize their worth, all the while becoming stronger people themselves. 
 I'm not gonna lie-there is some serious tragedy in this book. It's heartbreaking. It's ugly. But it's honest, and it's real. Seeing Mallory stumble through her journey of strength to open herself up to new opportunities, to become more social, and to realize that some things just don't last forever struck me with such force that at times it was hard to breathe. I felt for these characters. And I loved this book. 
 Jennifer L. Armentrout's debut Young Adult novel is a tour de force, simply put. Buy some tissues and then dive into this novel. You won't be disappointed.