Oh look, another Illuminae review! Normally I don't review books that I adore (you'll never see me review VE Schwab's Shades of Magic series because it will be endless crying and babbling because wow my life is dedicated to those books) since I find it hard to keep myself from spoiling all the things that make it great; the twists that drew me in, the points so awesome that I want to share them with others to show them why the book is so great. But Illuminae is kind of a weird one for me. 
 On one hand, I will praise the presentation until the sun goes down. On the other hand, I hated the characters. 
 There, I said it. I hate Kady and Ezra. Is Illuminae fast-paced action mixed with a little bit of gore? Absolutely. Are the pages of names and pictures of deceased spine chilling? No doubt. Was the naked, headless bodies arranged to spell HELP US an image I'll keep forever? Probably. Are the main characters interesting? Not a darn bit. 
 Kady and Ezra are survivors. Their colony was bombed the morning Kady ended their relationship. The survivors are picked up by a passing military vessel that resembles a mix of In Amber Clad and Forward Unto Dawn from the Halo video game series. (In case you haven't heard it enough, I love the presentation.) Between three ships, the survivors escape the collapsing planet and through a series of interviews and classified files, things start to get interesting quickly. 
 It's the classic story of zombies in space, but this time we have the added stress of an AI that thinks it knows best (by murdering civilians and military personnel, naturally) and the outbreak is found on more than just one ship. Kady seems to be the only one who cares that the military is keeping secrets, and she's going to get to the bottom of it... but not until Ezra is in danger. 
 Never in my life did I think I would read something published in 2015, set in XX75, that included the emoticon "0_o" and that it would be the turning point for Kady, Ezra, and myself. I hated them even more. The IM conversations were difficult to get through when I couldn't help thinking that level of chatspeak was left in 2005. No way would kids in XX75 use any of it. Kids today don't use it unless they're being ironic! 
 The adults were far more interesting than these brats. We see them through the classified files as they transmit messages, through security cameras, and battle reports. I wanted to know more about the captains of the Alexander and Hypatia. I wanted to know more about the subtle lesbians--killed off, by the way. All of the adults were killed because adults are dumb, right Every YA Novel Ever? But Kady needed to roam freely on a military vessel, so I get it. But there was no contact with the Alexander's superiors? I feel like if one of the strongest ships in the fleet went dark, Command would be asking questions or sending someone to check out the situation. 
 Kady was a boring egomaniac. There was nothing present in her files that showed she deserved to be the heroine. Not a single person in the entirety of the survivors had ever played with a computer? Only Kady was the best? Because she kept contact with some creepy, nearly pedophilic, middle aged man she was instantly the only one able to write code? I don't buy it. 
 Ezra was downright annoying. How was he the love interest? Why was he the love interest? I found myself skipping most of his featured files, and then feeling guilty enough to go back and read them. I can't explain it--was it his attitude? He just rubbed me the wrong way. No matter what happened to him, I couldn't find it in me to care. 
 The AI was probably the best character until it started gaining human traits. Some of the more powerful moments were provided by the AI files. As the second part of the book went on, however, AIDAN wore on my patience. The way it thought about Kady was just stupid. I guess it's the curse of the YA heroine that not only does every human fall in love with her, but AI without the capacity to love also come under her spell. 
 All in all, it was a quick read and it was new. There were no descriptions, no emotions, so you could project anything you wanted onto the characters. It was nice to have a heroine who didn't look at herself in the mirror and describe her appearance. But the relationship between Kady and Ezra? Flat. The book would have been the same with or without it; but the ending absolutely suffered for it. It left some questions open--for one, "Don't look at me" being repeated by the infected--and I wish it had killed off some of the main cast to create real tension. If Illuminae was a traditional read, it would be one of my lowest rated. As it is, the presentation is the redeeming quality.