I once went 12 days without a bowel movement, and that was less painful than this. 
 And here it is. Book ten. The one even Robert Jordan says is the weakest in the series (so I read somewhere I can't find again), and I sure hope he's right about that. Finding one of the last three I have yet to read being as slow as this would be quite a pisser. 
 I started this when it first came out in January 2003 and nipped along to the 10th chapter where the point of view changes to another storyline, and on page 280 I find that we are still on the same day as we were at the end of the previous book. At this point I figured the pacing must've been directed by Quentin Tarantino; either he inspired Jordan or vice versa. Here's how a bit of dialogue works in this book: Character A speaks a line. A paragraph plus of description about any damn thing ensues. Clothing, twitching, thoughts, facial reactions of other characters, anything. Character B responds to character A's line. A paragraph plus of description about... well, you get the idea. Jordan does this in other books as well from time to time, but for this one it was the rule instead of the exception. 
 Anyway, I finished chapter ten and put the book away deciding to pick it up again after Jordan had finished the entire series. The announcement that he was finishing the last book came in 2007, I started the series again, got most of the way through it, then Jordan up and died. But the publishers said the story was complete and that Sanderson would make it readable, so I finished up through book 11. Publishers being what they are as far as getting as much money as they can (I don't complain about that too much since I support capitalism even if it gets annoying sometimes), they Peter Jacksoned this shit, broke the last book into three, and the final volume didn't show up for another five years by which time I had forgotten a lot of the subplots which enhance the story and needed to start this shit AGAIN! That's why the read count is 2.4. 
 My gripes with this go along with almost any other review you can find on Goodreads or other sites: nothing happens outside of daily trivialities. Mat, Rand, and Perrin sit around pulling their puds, and Egwene, Faile, and Elayne pushing their pudendas, for 673 pages. (view spoiler)[On page 673 Egwene goes to do something, is betrayed and kidnapped, (hide spoiler)] and the book ends seven pages later. That's about what it amounts to. Mat and Tuon ride along with a circus and go nowhere. Faile is a prisoner of the Shaido for the third book running. Perrin mopes around camp for several chapters, and the climax of his storyline is when he goes to town for groceries. (view spoiler)[Well, maybe it's when he cuts someone's hand off, but that's as exciting as this book gets. (hide spoiler)] Elayne deals with politics of the palace and is a bitch. Egwene deals with politics of the rebel tower and is a bitch. She also gives us pages and pages of the self-importance of Aes Sedai that we've heard a skillion times before in other books. Rand is resting from what he did in the last book, and we see him in one chapter and a two page epilogue. Seriously, this series needs an enema at this point. Thankfully it will get one in the next book. There weren't any battles. There weren't even any physical fights! There were a couple of stabbings, and a matter-of-fact amputation, though I consider that extremely light fare for a 700 page fantasy novel. 
 There was plenty of cat fighting among the women. With all the sniffing, how are any of these people's sinuses intact? With all the skirt smoothing and twitching, how are any of these people's garments not threadbare in a matter of hours? And did this man own stock in a textile mill, or something? Descriptions of clothing alone take up 200 pages, normally silk slashed with some color or some good stout woolens. Was it in his contract to describe apparel in such detail? Does he get a 1099-misc at the end of the year from The Silk Trading Company based on the number of times he mentions silk? If so, he'd have died a wealthy man if he never even sold a single book. 
 The women in this series, main and secondary characters alike, are the most childish people you could ever hope to run across. I liked that about them when I was in high school and college and could appreciate it better since I was a snippity shit myself, but Jesus, get over yourselves! You're adults! And why are all the men terrified of them? Well, that's not too hard to understand actually. They're all shrews, and only men who are cads to begin with can find it within their hearts to knock them upside the head for the sake of the rest of the wimps. 
 Jordan usually writes well, but even that is lacking in this volume. I expect better because I've seen better in the previous books, and I know it gets better again in the next one. Contrary to what you see above, I did enjoy most of the journey though I had to steel myself to make it, hence the few month gap between the last one and this. Mat's chapters are entertaining with the bullshit he has to put up with, but I really just wish he would've done something. Anything! Actually, it would've been nice if anybody would've done anything. 
 Well, at least it's over, and I'm on to Knife of Dreams! There are a couple of awesome scenes in that one. This one has none, so I can't share any favorite parts with you. I recall hearing a couple of decent quotes in this, but I can't remember them, and damned if I'm going to seek them out if they're not already online somewhere. 
 So there you go. Two solid stars, though it's the humorous parts of Mat's chapters that give it the second. His courtship of Tuon is entertaining and gets even better in the next book.