Having recently, and obsessively, immersed myself in the show Penny Dreadful, it has unearthed in me this desire to know these legendary characters - of which I only know the myths told by time and not the tales themselves. So I've made it a goal of mine to read them all and I started with The Picture of Dorian Gray. Why I found the character Dorian Gray so tempting of them all, I wasn't at first sure. Particularly in the show (bear in mind I'm only mid-way through season 1), but also in the book, Dorian is pictured as perfection - handsome, wealthy, desired by all. What is so tempting of wanting to know more about him is laid out in a phrase in the story itself that goes, "behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic" and I wanted to know what that tragedy was. 
 What I found behind this appearingly simple story - of an easily impressionable man who makes a wish to forever remain pretty and in reality becomes more and more horrid, but when faced with his reality cannot bear it (a case of 'I want the truth! You can't handle the truth!' syndrome), to be layered beyond imagination. Though Wilde, whose genius I don't know why took me so long to get acquainted with, imagined it. What I find most remarkable of the themes in this story is just how relatable they are to today and how timeless they will remain. 
 Those themes dabble in, for one, good and evil and the choice between the two. In this story Basil Hallward, the painter who becomes infatuated with Dorian creates this infamous portrait of him, represents the good, the sort of angel on Dorian's shoulder. Whilst Lord Henry Wotton, this hedonistic, selfish aristocrat, convinces Dorian to forever remain beautiful and yield to temptation, represents evil. Throughout the story Dorian goes back and forth, feeling as though he has to choose either good or evil. This choice is something we humans face on a daily basis. Do we eat the entire pack of chocolate chip cookies instead of going for a run? Evil vs. good. Crushed resolutions show that more often we go down the rabbit hole of eating one cookie, then thinking 'I had one, might as well have another,' leading to feeling too crappy to go for a run and thus guilt ridden for our lack of control. Dorian shows the dilemma we all face and how easy it can be to hand ourselves over to temptation, again and again, spiraling out of control. Yet what Wilde says between the lines is that it does not have to be one or the other, good or evil, when in fact both inhabit us. We might as well embrace them and treat ourselves to a cookie or two, then go for a run. Truth is, reality is not this hard black and white way of seeing things (note to self). It's super gray, fuzzy, and a bit unsure of itself. So let us not take it so seriously and find a nice balance between the two. 
 Moreso than that is another theme, or idea, of how our thoughts and our actions intertwine or, in most cases, diverge completely and it is our actions to which we should be judged upon. We convince ourselves that the thoughts in our heads are true because we don't want to know that we are not realizing them in an actionable form. As humans we seek to reduce our hypocrisy, though never suppressing it completely because we are always growing, always learning more about our truth and the truths of reality. With Dorian, in all the truly heinous things he does, he still convinces himself that he is pure and beautiful until he's shown his truth in the portrait. Speaking for myself, this couldn't be more accurate, where I tell myself I'll never be the great artist that I wish to be, and so I give up before ever starting. Or, in the case of some, allow how others perceive us to be true and become it, both being self-fulfilling prophesies. When if we can alter our thoughts to be both honest and ambitious do we then become our best selves. 
 In knowing all that, the theme I find most relevant to these technological times is that not all is the way it seems it is. As years and years pass by Dorian seems, on the outside, to be this perfect specimen to aspire to and yet on the inside resides a gruesomeness upon which no one would wish to look. This leads me to think of social media and this age where we have all of these tools that we can, as Dorian sought to do, preserve this image of ourselves and the way we want to be seen. When in reality it is not the full truth. The full truth is everything about us, not just the parts that we share. In reality, when we see this perfect photo of someone on Instagram or Facebook we should look beyond the surface and wonder what it took to make that photo, what photos weren't shared or taken and why, or even what else could be going on behind the scenes. In most cases we don't and we're found surprised to know of the complexities within or we unfairly compare one person's something to our everything. 
 It made me think more of my relationship with social media. I have never had a healthy relationship with social media. It's never left me feeling good about myself or my time spent on it and yet here I am, on Goodreads, a social platform. Goodreads seems, for me, to be the only exception to the rule. So I got to wondering why do I find satisfaction, and not shame or self-loathing that I often get from other forms of social media like Instagram or Facebook (and why, for my sanity, as much as I try it eats my soul too much to be on them and so I just don't). While it's also a reflection of some of my more weaker personality traits, I also realized the difference between the two types of platforms. On most major social media sites the subject matter is ourselves. We share ourselves. We post photos of what we did and fill in 'about' sections of who we are or at least who we want to represent we are. The ego is at the forefront of the conversation on those platforms. I'm not trying to say these platforms are inherently evil, though I'm sure Dorian would have lavished in them, but that in the case of Goodreads the subjects are not us. The subjects are the stories we read. While the end result is still a revealing of ourselves, since what books we choose to read and how we respond to them says a lot about us, it's not our intention to be about us, but more an effect. Because the ego, in the case of Goodreads, comes second to story do we give off a more authentic representation of self and make the connections a bit more real. 
 Not only did I find this simple story so beautifully complex, but I am even more captivated by the painter of this picture, Mr. Wilde himself. The last time I have sat down and dissected a story so much and then sought to know the creator himself was when I was first introduced to Edgar Allan Poe. I remember sitting in a college library in Texas, indian style on the floor surrounded by the criticisms of Poe's writings, to better understand why I so much loved 'The Cask of Amontillodo,' 'The Mask of the Red Death' and 'The Fall of the House of Usher' and thus know who this person was that was capable of layering his stories so beautifully. I connected even with what Wilde had to say in the preface - about how no story (or other work of art) is moral or immoral but well written or not, how art is a reflection of the artist but the best artist conceals that reflection, and most especially the quote, "diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital." I am in awe of Wilde's brilliance, saddened by the metaphor this story represents, in ways, of his own life, and intrigued to know more, to see more, and learn more from him and it. If anyone reading dared make it this far, then maybe this story if for you as well. 
 Later somewhat sortof off topic note: I found it rather ironic that our oldest cat, Jasmine, whom we for reasons I can't explain, call Basil for short, can be a real shit of a cat unlike the Basil in this story and yet, like Basil, I adore her the most.