Maybe if I start using more cuss words I'll be funnier. 
 The nice thing about this is that Justin's dad can sound so mean and callous, but in everything he does you can tell he loves his kids. He's just extremely blunt. 
 Note: This is not just a compilation of the 140-character Twitter updates. A lot of the quotes are filled in with back story that is actually just as entertaining. 
 Favorite Quotes: 
 Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me. 
 If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage...No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time. 
 I just want silence...Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more.