First, I spit out a mouthful of dirt. Then, I screamed at the sky. "That's it! I've had it! Everything is trying to kill me! All I did was make one stupid wish. Aladdin made three. I'm the hero of this story, so where's my happy ending, already? It's not fair." 
 Rexi bent over, trying to catch her breath. "You know what's not fair? Spending Muse Day as a toad just because the kitchen ran out of frog legs. Or being volunteered for this little journey. So build a bridge, then make like a billy goat and get over it already because no one is listening." 
 Unpopular opinion time: I liked this book. It's got a 3.6 rating, which is pretty low for an YA book...and while I can understand the criticism, this book was a lot of fun for me. Admittedly, it's really, really kitschy, there are a million silly fairy tale references, like flitter for Twitter, and Hans Christian Louboutin shoes instead of Christian Louboutins. I thought it was cute and silly, but I can understand how others can find it annoying. 
 "Dear Grimm, we're not in Emerald anymore." I started to hyperventilate. 
 Rexi remained sprawled on her back. She barely opened an eye at my hysterics. "Duh." 
 Dorothea is a princess. She's also a spoiled brat. A long time ago some stupid witch put a curse onto her family, but witches are not lawyers, and their curse is full of holes. 
 Our family became spelled after my ancestor pixed off two evil witch sisters. The witches' curse was supposed to doom my great- great- great grandmother to turn evil and torch the world-- except the spell wasn't worded right. It didn't spec-ify which Emerald princess. So ever since, all the girls in the Emerald family have been stuck inside, since there's no way to know what generation will inherit the curse. 
 But it totally sucks for Dorothea because she's confined to the castle, Sleeping-Beauty-like. And she's not allowed to go near flames (which sucks, because fires are so much fun!). She spends her days trying to break the wards in the castle that'll let her wander outside and dismissing princes who come competing for her attention. She's angry at being confined, rebellious, and pretty bitchy to everyone, even the hapless (and mysterious!) gardener. 
 I stamped my foot and pointed more forcefully. "Off with you. Courtyard's that way. Be sure to clean those awful boots before coming back in." 
 "Someone told me I'd find a princess of great worth here. 
 One with the strength to be the hero this realm needs." He stared at me with those unsettling blue eyes. They were cold, like ice water-- made me shiver from head to toe. Then his gaze seemed to search even deeper. Finally, he looked through me, like I was nothing. "It seems she was mistaken." 
 Well, surprise, surprise, that gardener isn't who he seems and she better get over her distaste, because, well, they're engaged! Yay! Happy times all around! 
 No way. I would rather lick a toad. I would let a wicked old hag bake me into gingerbread before I married this son of a bas-ilisk who had the gall to look amused while I hyperventilated. 
 It's not like gardener/prince is fond of her either. He thinks, and correctly so, that she's a stupid, selfish, spoiled brat. 
 "And you are a useless princess who knows absolutely nothing of the real world. You would be the very last person I'd choose to chain myself to. But apparently both our kingdoms-- no. The whole realm needs this alliance, so what we want doesn't matter. I will do what I have to do, regardless of my personal feelings, and you will do the same. So sit down, grow up, and start acting like the kind of princess your people deserve." He snapped off the last syllable and abruptly let go at the same time so that I stumbled backward. 
 Desperate to escape the engagement, Dorothea makes a wish (from an orb thingy given to her by a mysterious fairy girl in the garden). Apparently taking things from strangers and wishing upon them is a terrible, terrible idea. Because next thing she knows, all hell breaks loose. 
 Surely it could not be the same party. It looked like a warzone. The floating chandelier had crashed and shattered on the dance floor, freeing the now- dark floating orbs. People ran madly for the exit. Some were being chased by pickax-wielding dwarves, to say nothing of the ogres. The floor was littered with frogs. Hopefully they weren't enchanted princes, because some of them were getting squished by the mob. 
 Our brilliant little princess' wish turned out to be a trick, and now the whole kingdom is doomed because of her. Great job. And her Prince Kato is now...absolutely adorable! Fluffy! Who's a cute wittle kitty?! 
 "Ow! That..." A little ball of fur chewed on my slippers, not caring that my feet were still inside. I'd never seen another creature like it. It had the auburn- colored body of a lion cub, but it also had nubby horns, wings, and a dragon's tail. Its little black talons scratched at my leg; then it stared at me with accusa-tory ice- water blue eyes. 
 "No pixing way! Prince Kato?" 
 Ok, maybe he still doesn't like her. With good reason. Dorothea fucked up majorly. 
 "Thank you for cracking open the barrier, by the way. I've been meaning to stop by for ages but never had the chance until now. It's such a shame I have to kill you. You would have made an excellent villain. After all, you've caused more damage in one afternoon than most henchmen do in a lifetime. And I didn't touch your parents. The blame for their loss lies squarely on your shoulders." She punctuated the your by pointing the mirror in my direction. 
 And now the fate of her kingdom rests upon her shoulders and the ones of the furry (and adorable!) Prince Kato. 
 I do have some complaints about this book. Dorothea is spoiled, but she never grates on my nerves. She is more perky and spirited than anything, but I wished that the author would show her development more. It never felt like she matured much internally. The story is also admittedly very confusing and fast-paced. 
 I did like the fact that there is no overwhelming romance. Kato and Dorothea grew to like each other through their initial first opinion. Kato's pretty fucking sassy too. Our princess may be a spoiled brat, but outside of her kingdom, nobody babies her and spoils her. She's gotta grow up on her own, and she is treated like a normal, stupid human being. She has to earn respect. 
 He flipped his spiked tail straight into the air in what could only be interpreted as an obscene gesture. 
 Rexi duplicated it in human form. "Right back atcha. 
 Overall, a pretty fun read. 
 Quotes were taken from an uncorrected proof subject to change in the final edition.