5/5* Loved the story but the narration was excellent! The guy is a blunt, straight-forward jerk but terribly hilarious! The narration is so funny; not funny-haha, but funny-hehe... if you know what i mean. I had a smirk permanently pasted to my face and at one point my brother actually commented, "now that's an evil smile!" The story would get 3 stars in my opinion but the terrifying characters like Alexandra and Dee, and the complete jerk of a hero along with his absolutely shameless inner monologues garnered a well-deserved 5/5 Stars. 
 Every healthy man in the world wakes up with a stiffy...I just like to think of it as a present from God. 'A chance to begin the day with your best dick forward'