I have already gotten rid of the book, so I'm going to have to paraphrase how Jesse Andrews begins it: You can hate this book, or you can love it. It's up to you. That sounds like a challenge! I think he's saying if you like it, cool. If you don't, if you wanna be a hater, you're playing into my point that hating is so easy and that when we hate things, in part, we actually love them. 
 I don't like to feel tricked or trapped, and I did not like this book. I didn't hate it in a good way--I know what hate-love is! I LOVE to hate-read books. A hate-read has to drive me crazy like a sexy/insane girlfriend who I just can't quit. A hate-read has to make me so angry that I feel personally invested. I have to feel joy somewhere in the pages of a hate-read. Joy because I see some of myself in the awful characters, joy because I feel like I could write a better book, joy because it's just GOOD AWFUL SHIT, exactly what the worst part of me wants to read. This list could be much longer. But The Haters included none of this. 
 The characters were unlikeable and obnoxious, I didn't want to go on this road trip with them!!! But Jesse Andrews made me do it!!! I was being held hostage!!!! I wanted to jump out of the car!!! 
 I know Jesse Andrews is not a well-spoken thirteen-year-old, but can we be sure that he's not? I don't want to read something that I think I could have overheard on the subway. None of the writing was inspiring or brought me to another place or made me think of things in a new way. I could just FEEL Jesse Andrews laughing at himself after some of the "cool/hilarious" dialogue. 
 Jesse Andrews reminded me of Amy Poehler in Mean Girls. "I'm not like those other authors, who are stuffy and actually are good writers. I'm a COOL author, I write like a twelve-year-old talks! I write in lists!" 
 I will tell you another thing about a hate-read--you might get pissed, but you won't get bored. And toward the end, when they were like at the final concert or whatever, I mean, I couldn't even tell you what happened. My eyes were on the words but my brain was not there. I didn't care. 
 If you ask me, they should have stayed at that fucking camp longer. That place offered some real promise. 
 The resolution was unenjoyable and underwhelming. I felt like Jesse Andrews actually missed a great opportunity to write about what it means to hate-love something. He mentions it at the beginning and talks about it at the end, but that idea could have driven this whole book and made it much better. 
 There is a chance Jesse Andrews would read this review and say, "This girl say she hated my book, but I know that she secretly loved it." Which is exactly what cocky asshole high school guys when a girl doesn't like them. But I actually, 100% did not like this book. When I was done I took a shower and picked up 
 Devil in the White City 
 , which isn't even something I'd usually read, but I needed something that could be the opposite of The Haters. And I'm loving it. 
 By the way, hating is far too easy. It's awful if you hate everything. But it's okay to hate things if you use it as a constructive exercise in making yourself and your experiences better. If you use it as a chance to be funny but not mean. If you make sure it doesn't drive you so insane that you come away worse. In that way, hate can be wonderful. But deep down I do believe that optimism and positivity and passion and giddyness conquer all. 
 Caitlin Moran has a great quotation about cynicism. 
 "The whole thing about being cynical is that you put on armor to protect you because you are too ashamed to admit that you are innocent and naive and that you are inexperienced. So you put on this armor to protect you. The thing about armor is you don't grow in armor. You can't dance in armor. You can't run in armor. You can't change in armor. Today the game on social media is to be cynical, is to be snarky. It is to want to tear people down and not believe in things and war over who is going to be the most bitchy that week. Have the bravery. It takes far more balls to be a giddy optimist. Keep believing, keep yourself optimistic. Always have the balls to say, I love this." 
 So guys, FYI, I do love stuff. Just not The Haters.