Rating: Cast: Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra, Aditya Seal, Satish Kaushik, Alankrita Sahai Director: Vipul Amrutlal Shah Some films should never get made, at all. And I am only verbalising what you are compelled to feel after watching 135 minutes of sheer bilge that Vipul Shah’s Namaste England has produced. Not because I have any grouse or grievance against the filmmakers or its cast. It seems that not just its basic premise, but even actors who play the lead, lose interest midway in this illogical drama that is promoted as a “love story”. There is a possibility that a film was promised to the lead cast, and to keep up his word, Shah put together a script. You often feel that the actors were left to themselves to enact, without much support, leaving them to deliver their lines perfunctorily. It isn’t just the insipid done-to-death storyline that makes this film unwatchable. Both story and scriptwriter Suresh Nair and director Shah are clueless about what crossing a border illegally entails; or what really is the pressing demand for Indians seeking an entry into any foreign land, or, even what is it that Indian audiences, growing up on Net series — both Indian and foreign — are looking for when they step out to watch a film! Smothered with corniness, this one wears you down. Rest assured that if the backdrop of a Bollywood masala film travels all the way to the US or the UK, you will have to put up with liberal doses of uncalled for nationalism too. In one of the film’s scenes, which is predictably wedged in to what the filmmakers believe would cheer many Indians in the audience, is similar to what Akshay Kumar did in Namaste London, and possibly Manoj Kumar did in the original Purab Aur Paschim. Telling firangs how great India as a nation is, or what wonderful people all Indians as a race are, has become a staple ingredient in any Bollywood mainstream film that gets shot on foreign locations. I also wonder if Punjabis see themselves as appropriately represented in Bollywood films, for beyond the stereotypical portrayals, there is little to admire in sarso ke khet and patriarchal mindset that one has seen for several decades now. Any film set in Punjab has to abound in platitudes with words like bauji and puttar thrown in in good measure and this film too has several such commonplace characters some of whom we all have seen many times before. Param (Arjun Kapoor) meets Jasmeet (Parineeti Chopra) and decides to marry her. They get a go-ahead from their parents, but the approval comes with a rider: Jasmeet will not work after marriage. Her conservative grandfather knows little about her plans though. Obviously, such a pre-condition has to be counter-productive to Jasmeet’s dreams, whose sole ambition in life is to realise her lifelong desire to work in London. The two tie the knot, and soon, a chance meeting with a friend triggers an idea into Jasmeet that it is London where she would be happiest following her wish. At this point, if you get confused about what or who her real love is — Param of London — so did I. Not that waiting for reasoning to follow any scene would ease matters for you as a plot teeming with improbable ideas is deemed to let contrivances of the silliest kind take over. Jasmeet decides to go to London after visa agent Gurnaam Singh (Satish Kaushik) hatches a “perfect” scheme for her disappearance from India. A Londoner named Sam (Aditya Seal) is looking for a typical desi bahu to please his 90-year-old dadaji (Vinod Nagpal). And guess what? Jasmeet, who is so desperate to fly off to the phoren land, packs her bags, decides to pose as a virgin Punjabi kudi, and even allows husband Param to offer his two-bit pieces of advice at the airport parting. From there on things have to go as per her design. For Sam, her so-called marriage is only a contract under which she makes it clear to him: tum mujhe chhuoge bhi nahin (You will not come anywhere near me, or touch me). Param, who trusts her, is getting impatient, and illegally gets into the city after an arduous journey through Bangladesh. His landing up unannounced is a huge surprise for Jasmeet, who too gets possessive of him, when Param, quite expectedly, gets to meet her “husband” Sam’s friend Alisha (Alankrita Sahai). The rest of the film follows the most nonsensical drama that unfolds as you forget all that is juggled together in the beginning: love, greed, ambition and manipulation. Kapoor sleep walks his role and looks like sauntering into the set without so much as any understanding of what he is supposed to be doing. There are times when you expect him to at least walk faster, if not react on time. His well-fed appearance getting passed off for a “hottie” is as ludicrous as Sam’s preference for Chopra to a sexy Sahai. Chopra, who showed immense promise in her first film, is equally painful to watch. How I wished that may be, the snooze fest would have a quirky twist in the climax, with lead characters parting ways, making me feel somewhat relieved at not having wasted my precious time entirely. Instead, when it ended, I was asking myself why such a film was made in the first place! The writer is a film critic and has been reviewing films for over 15 years. He also writes on music, art and culture, and other human interest stories.<doc-sep>Namaste England Director - Vipul Shah Cast - Parineeti Chopra, Arjun Kapoor Rating - 1/5 There is one thing Namaste England gets absolutely right—Punjab’s obsession with immigrating to the UK by means both legal and illegal and at a great personal cost. The state has given kabootarbaazi a new meaning and people who can help you get there are fuelling a cottage industry, not always at the right side of the law. That, discerning audiences, is the only thing the Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra film gets right. Once you have patted Namaste England on the back for taking up a subject with serious social ramifications, you have already pushed it too far. For beyond this thought is a film so silly and tedious that the one star I have given it feels like my good deed of the year done. Not even a shadow of 2007’s Namastey London—not a classic by any account but very much an entertaining watch—Namaste England gets everything wrong from the very first scene. Where the Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif film had its moments, Arjun Kapoor and Parineeti Chopra’s movie—along with the rest of the team—has a puerile storyline, hammy performances and dialogues so dreary, they leave you seething with murderous rage. Instead of a film, it feels like 135 minutes of an improv session with the audience left holding the bill. Namaste England appears to be set in a village near Amritsar where the entire young population has just one job—to fool Parineeti Chopra’s ultra-conservative grandfather and facilitate her dates with Arjun Kapoor. He, by his own admission, is a farmer and an MSc in agriculture who has never seen farming. Talk about expensive education gone waste! Other than marrying Arjun’s Param, Parineeti’s Jasmeet has only one dream – to become a successful jewellery designer. As a woman controlled by her daarji and veerji, she hopes that her marriage with a forward-looking Param will set her free. Daarji has his own plans though. He says yes to Jasmeet and Param’s wedding on one condition – Jasmeet will never be allowed to work outside her home. Daarji :1, feminism: 0. Jasmeet, like the rest of Punjab, decides that she and Param will just have to relocate to London for her to live her dreams. But there is a problem—Param has a frenemy who has vowed that he will never let him get a visa and this frenemy has some serious contacts. They could have shifted to Delhi or Mumbai or Chennai or just told Daarji to take a hike but no, who wants common sense when they can have hammy performances and melodrama? Common sense takes a beating and Namaste England enters a la la land of its own making with seductresses in blingy outfits and rich dudes with two expressions. As you wonder who truly sleepwalked through the film—its director or scriptwriter—the dialogues emerge as clear winner. In fact, Race 3’s ‘our business is our business’ will just have to accept it now, it has got competition. Sample this: ‘Jawaan Punjabi ladkon ko UK ka visa milna utna hi mushkil hai jitna terrorists ko swarg milna’ or ‘Mujhe bakwaas karne se mat roko warna mai ro padunga’. Our dear Daarji also comes up with this gem: ‘Mard ka farz hai aurat ka pet palna aur aurat ka usse bacche dena’. Not just the dialogues, the feel of the movie is highly regressive. For all its trendy dresses and highlighted hair, Namaste England can move to the 70s, no questions asked. Feminism is paid little more than lip service and the role of modern woman, as played by Parineeti, raises more questions than answers. Last year’s Badrinath Ki Dulhania, even though it had its own issues and a constricted world view, had more pop and verve than this ill-advised venture. The two stars, Arjun and Parineeti, do Namaste England no favours. If Ishaqzaade crackled with their chemistry, here Arjun substitutes hamming for acting. It appears as if Arjun realised just how terrible the project is and decided to contribute to it. The film’s lowest point is when Arjun delivers a nationalistic speech on how India managed Mangalyaan at the price of a rickshaw ride to a Britain-born confused desi—the scene needs both an acting coach and fact checking. Parineeti’s half-baked character is hard to identify with and her quizzical looks in the film mirror our own. Why would A-list actors work with an A-list director in a film made on a good budget and come up with a film so shoddy and sexist? This is a project that should end careers and for a good reason. The biggest loser, however, in all of this is England. After LoveYatri earlier this month and now Namaste England, we completely agree with the above confused desi when he says Britishers should stop giving visa to Indians. Or at least to Indian film crews till better sense prevails. Follow @htshowbiz for more ott:10<doc-sep>Namaste England Cast: Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra, Aditya Seal, Alankrita Sahai Director: Vipul Amrutlal Shah I’m not sure there’s a word in the English dictionary that can accurately convey just how boneheaded the characters in Vipul Shah’s Namaste England are. This is a movie about stupid people who do stupid things while stupidly trying to convince themselves and others that they’re doing it for love. If every idiot character that ever appeared on screen had to take an IQ test, Param and Jasmeet, the protagonists of this film, would rank lower than Harry and Lloyd, the imbeciles from Dumb and Dumber. Arjun Kapoor is Param, a boy from the Pind, who falls for Jasmeet (Parineeti Chopra) the moment he spots her during Dussehra celebrations. We watch his interest in her, and their subsequent romance, develop strictly over various festivals, which made me want to ask if they have any contact in the months between Diwali and Holi for example. But let’s not digress. The pair is promptly married after progressive Param promises to support Jasmeet in pursuing a career after they’re wed. In fact he’s such a nice guy he agrees to move to England so she can follow her dream. But an entirely unconvincing series of plot twists leads to Jasmeet heading westwards, leaving Param heartbroken and unable to follow after her. It’s brave that Parineeti Chopra agreed to play a character so singularly manipulative and unlikeable. She hurts the man she loves repeatedly, she uses him to escape her own strict family, and like Param tells her at one point, she’s so selfish she’s happy to be in a relationship with a city than with a person. Add that to the fact that Jasmeet is also fantastically foolish, and you’ve got a heroine with practically no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Param, meanwhile, is just a doormat with very little self-respect, and not particularly smarter than his wife. Arjun and Parineeti are hardly at the top of their game here, and it’s easy to blame the actors for this film’s shortcomings, but the truth is that Namaste England wouldn’t be a lot better if Aamir Khan or Meryl Streep were in it. Which brings me to wonder how a film like this was made in the first place. Why no one – from the actors, to the studios bankrolling the project, or frankly anyone who’d looked at its ridiculous script – asked why good money was being pumped into such drivel? That will be one of Bollywood’s big mysteries. In 2007, Vipul Shah made Namaste London with Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif, and it was a pleasant enough entertainer with catchy songs and good chemistry between its leads. In Namaste England, Shah and his writers attempt to recycle some of what worked the last time around, including a rousing patriotic monologue by the hero addressed to a snotty India-basher. Alas, this scene has none of the impact of the original. It feels tired, recycled, and rote. It’s hard to apply a traditional rating yardstick to a film that’s bereft of logic, or possesses even a modicum of common sense or plausibility. I’m going to skip rating Namaste England. Yes, this is that kind of awful film. Rating: None!<doc-sep>After creating magic with their chemistry in their debut film, Arjun Kapoor and Parineeti Chopra are all set to entertain the audiences with another love story in Namaste England. Find out what the celebs had to say about the movie After a long wait, Director Vipul Shah decided to make a sequel of 2007 Namastey London with Namaste England. This time, he chose to work with and to recreate the magic of the first film that starred and . The entire past month, we saw the entire team of Namaste England on a promotional tour of their upcoming movie. Owing to the holiday weekend, they decided to release the movie a day in advance i. E October 18, 2018. The trailers of the movie gave a glimpse of the joyride that the movie would bring forth and the songs also were being loved by the audience. The movie released today and was received by the audience with a lot of love. Our bollywood celebs too rushed to catch a glimpse of the magic of Namaste England. The audience already loved the chemistry between Jasmeet and Param and now, the celebrities too have given a thumbs up to the same. Many of the stars took to twitter to share their take on this Arjun Kapoor and Parineeti Chopra starrer. Take a look: Best wishes to my bro @arjunk26 the beautiful @ParineetiChopra n the entire team of #NamasteEngland can’t wait to watch both my favorites. Keep shining like — KAPIL (@KapilSharmaK9) October 18, 2018 All the best Pari @ParineetiChopra, meri sherni You are amazing as always! Can't wait to watch the filmThe trailer looks awesome @arjunk26 #NamasteEngland pic.twitter.com/bSCRPJNDE7 — Shreyas Talpade (@shreyastalpade1) October 18, 2018 Credits :Twitter Read More<doc-sep>
Namaste England Cast: Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra Director: Vipul Amrutlal Shah The film must not have looked this bad on paper as it has everything — two recognisable leads, a franchise with good recall value, a director who has made films such as Aankhen, Waqt and Namaste London, and a story that could find some resonance with the ongoing women empowerment movements. But it all has resulted in a shoddy tale enacted by clueless actors, a highly sexist understanding of the Indian diaspora in London and brazenly forced songs. The simplicity of Akshay Kumar’s character, which floored the audiences in Namastey London (2007) is totally missing in this film. Here, Param (Arjun Kapoor) wants to force-feed us that he is the simplest guy around despite illegally entering Europe and establishing a fake relationship with his wife’s friend. Well, we can give him the benefit of doubt, but what happens next is beyond comprehension. The wife, Jasmeet (Parineeti Chopra), launches an attack on Param’s female friend by slut shaming her in the weirdest way possible. Sample this: Isko baithne bolo toh ye let jaati hai (If you ask her to sit, she lies down). This might have been acceptable in 1980s but feels beyond pathetic in the era of #MeToo and Time’s Up. The writers can believe that the characters might be belonging to a space where such tirades are a norm, it’s a filmmaker’s conscious choice to present his actors in a certain way. After all, it’s all about equilibrium between cinema and the society. Isn’t what Bollywood believes in, at least in their promotional interviews? Read: AndhaDhun Movie Review Read: Village Rockstars Movie Review The rehashed formula that is Namaste London, has nothing going for it. It’s the same story of a woman about to get married to a London-based guy only to realise at the last moment that she should also think about her country’s pride after a monologue by the ‘desi’ charmer at a party. Been there, done that. Even if you’re planning to repeat it, write a better scene and not the one where a seemingly drunk woman announces the hero’s presence by saying, “Now that’s what I call a ‘desi’ hunk,” or something similar. Why would anyone take this scene seriously? The audacity of the makers doesn’t stop just there. They have also devised a scene where Arjun Kapoor compares himself to Shah Rukh Khan and enlightens us on how Shah Rukh is only playing a role on the screen and not in his real life. Really? Parineeti Chopra wants to pursue jewellery designing but is struggling with the designing of the screenplay. It's not just her, most of the actors appear disconnected with the set-up. They never look beyond the green fields, bhangara and tractors of Punjab. In between, there are lectures about not leaving the country for greed and how in 50 years, we will be the most powerful state and so on. Read: Tumbaad Movie Review Read: Jalebi Movie Review There is a grandfather who wants to uphold the societal norm of not letting the girl work even after her marriage, a friend who makes weird sound after every sentence and an Arjun Kapoor who wouldn’t give you a heads up before breaking into a dance. None of these people are convincing and after a while you want the girl to go abroad and work, so as to be saved from this master-class in overacting. I am a reviewer, so there wasn’t a way out. I survived and that’s my win. At 141-minute duration, Namaste England goes nowhere and seems like that odd star in the space which all your childhood friends talked about but nobody could see and locate. You still don’t know if it was even there or not.​ Rating: 0.5/5 Interact with Rohit Vats at Twitter/@nawabjha