Survivor S 37 E 1 Close this dialog window Streaming Options Welcome one and welcome all to another season of Survivor recaps! I’m your host, Dalton Ross. Or, as some others know me, Dalton Dangerous. Or Dalton Dynamite. Also… Dalton Dashing, Dalton Disco, Mount St. Dalton, D Rock, Skinny D, Cash Rockwood, The Jester of Jersey, The Friday Night Letdown, The Embassy of Embarrassment, The Colonel of Cooltown, The Barack Obama of the Sauna, The Superintendent of Survivor, Mr. 50 Shades of Gray Hair. Or, you know… you can just call me Dalton. I don’t have to impress you with my 50 nicknames, or flowing locks, or manly physique! Mostly because I have none of those things. But what I do have is a sad and pathetic history of spending the past 18 years of my life writing about a network reality show. So won’t you help me continue that sad and pathetic history by reading along? Yes, since Survivor started I have had a son that was born and gone off to college. I have had a daughter that was born who actually inspired a challenge twist in the game. I’ve had… well, that’s pretty much all I have had or done over the past 18 years. I mean, you all have read my recaps, they’re not exactly what one would call “short.” Or “good.” The point is, there’s not a lot of time for extra-curricular activities. But my sad lack of a social life and any sort of hobby whatsoever has led me back to you. And to Survivor: David vs. Goliath. Season 37! What the hell? That is a ridiculous number. And, as I wrote earlier this week, it shows no sign of stopping anytime soon as long as a certain host/showrunner sticks around. (Really, please do click on that link if you have not read that article yet. I think any serious Survivor fan will enjoy.) So enough with the pleasantries and introductions. Let’s get into the premiere episode. Ain’t nothin’ to it but to do it! Jeff Probst begins the proceedings by throwing the theme of the season up in the air and then slamming it into our face like a John Isner serve. He tells us to prepare for “a modern take on one of the most intriguing match-ups of all time” — which, sadly is a not a retelling of the Geraldo Rivera vs. Frank Stallone boxing match of the 1990s. What the show is really doing is setting up one side (the Davids) as clear underdogs to root for, and the other (Goliaths) as the overwhelming favorites/villains to root against. Just look at the introductions to tribes themselves. For the Davids, we get a confessional (first one of the season, in fact) from Christian, who talks about what a robot-obsessed nerd he is. For the Goliaths, we get Natalie boasting, “I’ve been amazing at business. Everything I touch turns to gold.” But that juxtaposition was nothing compared to the way they simply step onto the boat. When the Goliaths show up, we get confident booming music meant to translate their power and authority and dominance. When the Davids step on, we get the same goofy circus music they used to play whenever Stephen Fishbach would participate in a challenge. Through words, editing, and visuals, the show is hammering home the underdog theme hard. Hell, I’m half surprised they didn’t put all the Goliaths in New York Yankees uniforms and force the Davids to dress like the Bad News Bears. I mean, OF COURSE the producers did all this. The theme is David vs. Goliath so they are going to keep hitting that theme and hitting it hard. But here’s the thing: We, as human beings, always have a natural inclination to root for the underdogs. Simply by affixing the labels “David” and “Goliath” to tribes, the producers have guided us to which team to root for, and that gravitational pull is pretty strong. Mike White even spoke to me about knowing he was a villain the second they revealed the theme. But, at the same time, the emotional manipulation was so obvious in this introduction that while I went into this season assuming I would root for the Davids all the way, by the time they all stepped on the boat, the super-stubborn contrarian in me was refusing to do so. That’s right, I’m going against the grain! I’m totally rooting for the Goliath tribe! It doesn’t matter that Gabby and Christian are adorable together. It doesn’t matter that Lyrsa and Elizabeth could be the next great mismatched power duo. It doesn’t matter that one of the tribe members almost BROKE HIS BACK! I just don’t like being told whom to root for. The more you pull me one way, the more I push back to the other. It’s possibly my most annoying quality. And I, of all people, should be rooting for the Davids. Not only am I a scrawny weakling, but my middle name is David. Not-so-fun fact: When everyone in the first grade started making fun and branding me Dalton the Dolphin (which, incidentally, is another wrestling stage name of mine now) I tried to convince them to call me David instead. Needless to say, it didn’t work. In fact, they really doubled down on the Dolphin thing as a result. But the point is, I am both a figurative and literal David. And I actually do like the David tribe members better. And yet I now feel like I need to root against them simply because the show is trying so hard to make me root for them! Does this make any sense whatsoever? But the producers know we love an underdog. And what do audiences love even more than an underdog? An underdog who WINS! Which brings us to the opening challenge on the boat. It’s a bit confusing, but basically, the Goliath tribe is told they can pick their two strongest players (Allison and The Wrestler with A Million Names) to go against whom they deem to be David’s two weakest players (Purple Hair and Big Bang Theory). But the David tribe is then given an advantage of their own: Each of the three stages of the challenge has three different options, and the Davids get to pick which team does which on each. It is a MASSIVE advantage. Clearly the beam over the water is much, much faster than the plank option that they stick the Goliaths on, which ends up giving Purple Hair and Big Bang Theory a huge lead they never surrender, winning easily. I want to be absolutely, 100% clear that I am not implying this challenge was rigged or unfair in any way whatsoever. The Goliaths got a choice and the Davids got a choice. And the Davids could have totally screwed theirs up or screwed up any of their stages. There was no funny business in terms of how this was executed or played out. But let’s just say that the conditions seemed pretty ideal for a David victory to launch the season. Every single challenge of every single season favors certain people or tribes. This one, and the way the advantages were distributed, seemed to tilt that balance to the Davids. But that’s just my take. I asked Probst who he thought had the better advantage before the competition ran and you can read his answer in our weekly Q&A. Last thing I’ll say about the intro before we head to the beaches: Survivor editors have been on fire lately, and they hit a home run again with the time-lapse montage of Christian obsessing over the wrong moves he made in the puzzle. Freakin’ hilarious. Yes, ever since Cochran, the Survivor Nerd has become an overused archetype, but this guy is money. Okay, let’s head to the beaches. The Goliath Tribe The rain is already coming as the Goliaths make their way to their tribe beach, and in case you don’t know who Mike White is, he’s here to tell you! He explains that he wrote School of Rock, Nacho Libre, “and then some indie movies and TV too.” Some indie movies and TV too?!? You mean like Chuck & Buck? And Enlightened? And Freaks & Geeks? Those aren’t just “some indie movies and TV too,” Mike White. Those are works of genius. Take ownership of all your writing prowess! Not only that, but need I remind you that you were FREAKIN’ NED SCHNEEBLY?!? Dude, you made it! In Hollywood! Do you know how hard that is? You’re a Goliath, for chrissakes. Start acting like it! Also, stop looking for idols. Or, at least stop being so obvious you are searching for idols. Especially when you’re not in any trouble. That’s an easy way to put a target right on your back, which is exactly what Mike does. It also leads to a flurry of other people searching for the idol. Angelina even asks the question that I have asked many times before in my recaps: Why don’t women find hidden immunity idols? She and Alison want to break that trend. But they can’t, because said idol is in Dan’s pants — which, frankly seems like a weird and inappropriate place for producers to hide it. Maybe they were hoping Kara would find it in there? Those two were certainly looking pretty damn flirty and a shoo-in for a season-long showmance. Which greatly confuses me thanks to this infamous Instagram post in which Kara seems to be romantically linked with another contestant from her tribe. Perhaps Dan reverted back to “Fat Dan” after the season and she was Audi 5000? I have no idea. REALITY COUPLE ROMANCES! WHO CAN KEEP TRACK? ! But enough of the most confusing island-set love triangle since Jack, Kate, and Sawyer — because Natalie seems to have annoyed people with her deadly combination of complaining about the way everyone else is doing stuff coupled with her not actually doing anything. Other than John Morrison taking 10 minutes to rattle off all of his nicknames, that’s about it from the Goliaths. The David Tribe Wow, this Pat guy is coming in hot! It’s almost as if he knows his time is limited so he wants to cram in as many left nut and butt crack jokes as possible. (Speaking of which: Why does a duck have feathers? To cover his butt quack. BOOM! I’m here all week. Please tip your waitress.) While Pat may be rubbing people the wrong way with his aggressiveness, the guy is at least getting results, building a kick-ass shelter for the others to enjoy without him. But while one of the oldest members of the tribe is working hard on that, the youngest is working hard on the game. 19-year-old Jessica is telling everyone she is 22, because we have never, ever, ever seen teenagers lie about their age before on this show. She makes an alliance with Bi. She makes an alliance with Elizabeth. She makes an alliance with Carl. Hell, I’m pretty sure she made one with the octopus before Davie killed it. And she’s not the only one working it. Lyrsa and Elizabeth form an alliance while a storm rages overhead, and if they don’t call it the Thunder & Lightning alliance then they are doing something seriously wrong. Meanwhile, Christian and Gabby pair up, with the latter branding herself the “nerd-whisperer,” which I can only assume means talking about Tribbles and Pythagorean Theorems and Jennifer Love Hewitt. I know I am forcing myself not to root for the David tribe, but there are some great characters on this team, and these two may be at the top of the list. Nick has its own list, and it’s a list on how to get out of doing any manual labor. Nick thinks he’s being all crafty and nobody will notice that instead of helping out around camp, he is spending all his time coming up with terrible alliance names. (Why will nobody adopt Thunder & Lightning?!? It’s right there people!) But notice they have. Maybe Nick started to realize he was not fitting in, or maybe he just felt comfortable opening up.<doc-sep>CLICK HERE if you are having trouble viewing these photos on a mobile device Cue the horns, drums and chanting — “Survivor” is back. And Jeff Probst wastes no time in telling us so. He then tries to explain the theme, which we’re still puzzled over. The divisions — David vs. Goliath — aren’t based on strength. They’re based on those who have been classic underdogs in life vs. those who’ve always taken advantage of their assets and positions. Angelina thinks her tribe, the Goliaths, are buff, hot and smart, and she actually feels sorry for the David tribe. Nick, the redneck lawyer, says he’s definitely a David. He grew up in a trailer park, dirt poor, and he had to fight for everything he’s got, which is an education and a law degree. John the professional wrestler, says he’s always been a Goliath. He tends to talk about himself in the third person, which we find annoying. Reward challenge To test the theme, which is take advantage of any advantage offered, the Goliath squad picks the players they consider the weakest man and woman from the Davids: Lyrsa and Christian. Then they choose their strongest Goliaths: Alison and John. The Davids, on the other hand, pick the pairs’ paths, which offer three choices that test balance, agility and puzzle making. They decide Alison and John must tackle the harder physical challenges and a 15-cube puzzle. The Davids’ team is given the easier courses and an 8-piece slide puzzle. The Davids reach the puzzles only a little ahead of the Goliaths, but Christian and Lyrsa whip through their slide puzzle in record time. Turns out Christian has experience writing slide puzzle algorithms (he’s a robotics scientist). So score one — and shelter-building supplies — for the Davids. The Goliath tribe members arrive at their camp and Dan regales his teammates with stories about his experiences on the SWAT force. Mostly he talks about how much weight he put on as a rookie with half-price McDonald’s and free food at other places. So then he worked really hard to trim down, and the women agree he’s fine. Dan is immediately smitten with Kara and there’s a lot of flirting going on. It looks like Dan is way more into her than she is to him, but Dan isn’t picking up on the signals. At Camp David, Pat, the construction manager, is barking orders on how to build the shelter. His bossiness is slightly annoying, but what’s worse is his coarse language and off-color jokes. “Once you’ve seen the crack, you’ll never go back.” “I’m sweating like a pregnant nun at confessional.” Christian points out, correctly, that the others are putting up with him because the shelter is coming together. At Camp Goliath, things aren’t going as well. There are a lot of bosses, and they all have theories on how to build the shelter. Meanwhile, storm clouds are pretty much the only thing building. Natalie is disgusted by all of them and she tries to take charge. That particularly irritates Natalia, the industrial engineer, who announces that Natalie has put a target on her back. At Camp David, people are starting to make alliances: Jessica and Bi; Carl and Davie; Lyrsa and Elizabeth. That last connection surprises both of them. Lyrsa says Elizabeth is a cowgirl and she’s a lesbian punk rocker, but hey, they work. Another obvious alliance pairing is Christian and Gabby, who is a technical writer and calls herself a nerd whisperer. She works with geeks and nerds all the time. John, over in the Goliath camp, spends what feels like 10 minutes listing all his wrestling names, which include the perplexing “George Bushy of Tushy” and “Ab-raham Lincoln.” While Natalia complains about Natalie to the other women, Mike starts looking for an idol. A few others head out to do the same, leaving the remaining ones to talk about whom to vote out first. Mike is targeted, for looking for an idol and for not being poor. Natalia thinks Natalie needs to go. Natalie warns Mike he’s in trouble with the tribe. The Davids’ shelter is pretty good, and they spend the next day making it even better. Meanwhile, Nick makes friends with fellow Kentuckian, Elizabeth. He wants to come up with names for all the alliances, but he needs to think about it first. It’s much worse for the Goliaths, who can’t seem to concentrate on building the shelter because by this time, they’re all out there looking for the hidden idols. John says it’s built into their DNA. Dan is the one who finds the idol, sharing it with “the prettiest girls on the island,” Kara and Natalia. The idol makes him feel bulletproof. At Camp David, Davie catches an octopus. He’s a blerd, he says — a black nerd. So he’s pretty stoked at his success. As the rain continues, everyone is cold and Jessica is the first to break down. She feels horrible, because she wants to be the person people can depend on and lean on. She talks about having to support her mom when she was in a bad relationship. Bi tells her she was in a bad relationship where the guy beat her every day and she would end up in the hospital every month. Jessica’s mom was lucky to have Jessica, she says. Nick doesn’t feel comfortable opening up, but he finally says that his mom was a drug addict and overdosed three years ago. The entire David tribe is crying now. Lyrsa says the rain brought good things, because it caused them to open up to each other. Immunity challenge The first contest for immunity is going to be played in a torrential downpour. It starts with an obstacle course; then one person from each tribe must dig under a big log. Once through, they take a machete and chop a rope that lowers ladders. The team that comes in second in that part is penalized: Instead of chopping, they have to untie knots to drop the ladders. The whole tribe has to climb the ladders and use a pole to cross from one platform to another and down a cargo net. Finally, one person serves as caller while the others move pieces on a giant puzzle to arrange blocks in order, one to 25. The Goliaths take a very early lead, but the Davids catch up. It ends up close, but the Goliaths finish first. Pat says losing feels bad, and that the rain is a morale buster. But it also brought them all together inside their shelter, with one heart. Unfortunately, they’re going to lose an artery at Tribal Council. If Lyrsa has her way, Nick needs to be bypassed, but Nick is spared when Pat injures his back on the boat ride back to Camp David. He’s in a world of hurt after the boat slammed into a wave on rough seas. His tribe huddles under a palm tree, worried, while a medical crew tends to Pat. They get even more worried when Probst comes jogging onto the scene. Related Articles ‘Survivor: David versus Goliath’ — meet the cast Pat is hurting so badly he can only speak in gasps, but when Dr. Joe says he’s going to need to be evacuated, he begs them to let him stay in the game. But Dr. Joe says he has to go. Everyone says goodbye; Gabby thinks she probably misjudged Pat; and Jeff gives them some good news — no Tribal Council and a flint will be waiting for them back at camp. Next time: The Natalie-Natalia war escalates, Lyrsa learns her name is coming up in discussions, and there’s a new nerd in charge.<doc-sep>
What’s up my Survivor people? It’s so great to be back covering the show that I love, and what an explosive, promising start to Season 37! The early buzz is that people are loving the potential of this cast, and if nothing else, the “David vs. Goliath” theme of the season has created some early players to root for, and some to root against, simply by how they were categorized out of the gate. So much to get to, so – as seems to be the main slogan on Big Brother 20 this season – LET’S GOOOOO! I bring up Big Brother not just because its 20th Season Finale followed the Survivor: David vs. Goliath Premiere (and that I’m a huge fan of that show as well), but Survivor managed to steal Big Brother’s motto during the first episode: Expect the unexpected. We’re used to hearing Julie Chen, er, Julie Chen Moonves utter this phrase, but we’re not quite accustomed to hearing Jeff Probst say it. Well he did by the end of the episode, because the way this one ended was one of the most shocking right-turns the game has ever seen, so much so that the biggest event of the night didn’t even occur on camera…and that’s pretty hard to pull off considering the number of cameras this show uses 24/7. But “the unexpected” ending, in the words of contestant Gabby Pascuzzi: “Fits so perfectly, in the worst way,” with the “underdogs vs. favorites” theme of this season. Expect more of the unexpected in the weeks to come. One thing you CAN expect though is this little disclaimer before we dive in: As I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Premiere Episode of Survivor: David vs. Goliath, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together. CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING! So how are you all doing? For some reason, I feel like this Summer flew by, but yet it feels like forever ago since the last season of Survivor. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still as excited as ever when a new season of Survivor is rolled out, but for whatever reason, I had some level of hesitation about this season. Was it the theme I wasn’t loving? Was I finally getting “Survivor fatigue” after 36 seasons? I usually am all over all of the pre-season interviews and clips that are released, but this is the first season in many seasons that I sort of avoided most of the pre-game hoopla. Just wasn’t all that interested. Like most viewers, I came into tonight’s episode fresh, not knowing who any of these players were or having any preconceived notions as to who I thought was a favorite. The result I must say, worked wonders because even about half-way through tonight’s episode I was thinking: Wow I really like this cast! And to my surprise, I even found myself liking the David vs. Goliath twist. Yes, it’s sort of corny that it is called “David vs. Goliath,” and like a bunch of geeks we find grown men and women walking around saying to each other “Are you a David?” “Are you a Goliath?” But the unexpected (there’s that word again) result of this tribe separation was that it immediately gave the audience some players to cheer for. It’s not uncommon for a tribe label to begin affecting a player’s approach to the game (being put on a “villain” or a “hero” or a “brawn” or a “brains” tribe immediately leans you into a certain mindset). But this is the first distinction that Survivor has made right from the start that has told the audience: Here is the group of advantaged players, and here are the underdogs. Even Heroes vs. Villains was different because many of us like rooting for the villain. But who in their right mind is going to want a David to fail? I like that Probst perfectly encapsulated the idea of the season in his speech towards the beginning.