President Donald Trump chose Federal Appeals Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh to succeed former Justice Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court on Monday, and Stephen Colbert is still recovering from the nomination. Despite admitting he didn't "know much" about Kavanaugh during Tuesday night's Late Show, Colbert gave a laundry list of reasons why Trump's justice pick could present a problem for the country, starting with the fact that Kavanaugh's first name is Brett. "That sounds less like a Supreme Court Justice and more like a waiter at Ruby Tuesday," Colbert cracked. "His full name is Brett Michael Kavanaugh, so it is possible Trump thought he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of Celebrity Apprentice Brett Michaels. At least we'll know his stance on the landmark case of nothing via good time," he said. At 53, Kavanaugh is younger than most of the sitting justices. "I don't want some kid making constitutional decisions. I'm 54 and I still can't decide whether I'm team Edward or team Jacob," Colbert said. Kavanaugh could possibly overturn Roe v. Wade, the 1973 Supreme Court decision that made it legal for a woman to have an abortion. "That case is actually one of the big questions here because some fear Kavanaugh would overturn Roe while others hope Kavanaugh would overturn Roe," Colbert said. "Either way, Kavanaugh took great pains last night to reassure us that he knows so women." Kavanaugh said he was an advocate for women's rights during his nomination acceptance speech on Monday. He noted his mother was a prosecutor at a time when few women held the position and said many of his law clerks were women. Kavanaugh potentially overturning Roe v. Wade may be one of the most controversial topics in America at the moment, but Colbert suggested Trump may have chosen the Washington native that might benefit the president specifically. "Back in 2009, Kavanaugh wrote that Congress should pass a law exempting a president while in office from criminal prosecution and investigation including from questioning by criminal prosecutors or defense counsel," Colbert explained. He added: "So Trump picked the guy who thinks presidents shouldn't be prosecuted. That's like Steph Curry picking the ref and the ref previously ruled Warriors number one."<doc-sep>Late-night comic Stephen Colbert asks: What kind of name is Brett? To him it sounds less like someone who should be confirmed to the Supreme Court and more like the name of a Ruby Tuesday's waiter who is coming to clear your rights away. What else is the comic skeptical about? Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh's explanation for why a sitting president should not be the subject of an investigation. Find out how Colbert relates Kavanaugh's logic to hard-working moms everywhere in today's Best of Late Night, above. And what did folks who were watching "The Bachelorette" have to say about their programming being disrupted for President Donald Trump's supreme announcement? Jimmy Kimmel shares the best of social media in today's webisode. After you watch our favorite jokes, vote for yours in the poll below. Follow Eileen Rivers on Twitter @msdc14.<doc-sep>"I'm still recovering from watching 'America's Next Top Justice," Stephen Colbert confessed at the top of Tuesday's "Late Show" episode, a day after the president named his choice for the Supreme Court seat being vacated by Anthony Kennedy. "I had a little drinking game: I would pour myself a drink every time my glass was empty. I won!" He continued, "Of course, the real winner was federal appeals court judge and cover model for 'Generic Dads Monthly,' Brett Kavanaugh, which means I have Trump nomination Bingo! See, it's all squares that say 'white guy.' I won. And lost." (Though he admitted, "It's not a hard game to play.") Colbert also admitted that he thinks the name Brett lacks the gravitas needed for a justice on the land's highest court. "That sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at Ruby Tuesday's," he observed, before imagining Kananaugh greeting customers in a robe covered with pins. "Hi, I'm Brett, I'll be your Supreme Court justice tonight! Before you sit down, let me just clear away these rights for you." The comedian also wondered if Kavanaugh's name had Trump thinking of someone else. "His full name is Brett Michael Kanavaugh, so it is possible Trump thought he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of 'Celebrity Apprentice,' Brett Michaels. At least we'll know his stance on the landmark case of Nothing v. a Good Time.' "<doc-sep>Late-night host Stephen Colbert and abortion advocacy group NARAL have both gone after Supreme Court Justice nominee Brett Kavanaugh for being named Brett. Colbert, a fierce critic of the Trump administration, joked Tuesday night on "The Late Show" about playing a drinking "game" that involved pouring himself a drink every time his glass was empty as he watched Trump's announcement of Kavanaugh. "I don't know much about Kavanaugh, but I'm skeptical because his name is Brett," Colbert said. "That sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at Ruby Tuesday. Hey everybody! I’m Brett. I’ll be your Supreme Court justice tonight. Before you sit down, let me just clear away these rights for you." The crowd laughed and cheered and yelled "woo." We'll be DAMNED if we're going to let five MEN—including some frat boy named Brett—strip us of our hard-won bodily autonomy and reproductive rights. #StopKavanaugh #SaveRoe pic.twitter.com/22GYMTVLgj — NARAL (@NARAL) July 11, 2018 In a tweet Tuesday night, NARAL dismissed Kavanaugh as "some frat boy named Brett" who would take away reproductive rights. NARAL tweeted, "We'll be DAMNED if we're going to let five MEN—including some frat boy named Brett—strip us of our hard-won bodily autonomy and reproductive rights. The abortion group did at least know to name Kavanaugh in its tweet. The Women's March sent an email blast about Judge "XX" the night of Kavanaugh's nomination, forgetting to fill in his name as it warned about the threat he posed to civil rights. Left-wing groups have mobilized against Kavanaugh, with Democrats and progressives signaling they will fight tooth-and-nail against his confirmation to replace retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy. They have made draconian warnings about him bringing about the end of women's rights, legal abortion and health care. While Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D., N.Y.) has said he will oppose Kavanaugh's confirmation with all his strength, he faces an uphill battle in the Senate with Republicans controlling the chamber.<doc-sep>
“I don’t know about you, but I am still recovering from watching America’s Next Top Justice last night,” Stephen Colbert joked in his opening monologue Tuesday night. He also let viewers in on his new drinking game: “I would pour myself a drink every time my glass was empty.” The Late Show host did not seem thrilled with President Donald Trump’s Supreme Court pick Brett Kavanaugh, or as he called him, “Cover model for Generic Dads Monthly.” Colbert did, however, pat himself on the back for winning “Trump nomination bingo,” explaining, “See? It’s all squares that say ‘white guy.’” Colbert expressed his “skepticism” over Kavanaugh, mostly based on the fact that his first name is Brett. “That sounds less like a Supreme Court justice and more like a waiter at a Ruby Tuesday’s,” he said. “‘Hey everybody, I’m Brett, I’ll be your Supreme Court justice tonight. Before you sit down, let me just clear away these rights for you.’” The host marveled at the fact that Kavanaugh, at 53, is one year younger than he is. “I don’t want some kid making constitutional decisions,” he joked. “Some fear that Kavanaugh would overturn Roe [v. Wade], while others hope Kavanaugh would overturn Roe,” Colbert said. “Either way, Kavanaugh took great pains last night to reassure us that he knows some women.” In his remarks during the announcement ceremony, the judge seemed to spend more time talking about his mother, wife and daughters than he did about the law. Mocking Kavanaugh’s comments, Colbert added, “‘I own three Indigo Girls’ albums. My favorite boat is named after a woman. I have my own pair of traveling pants. I eat Jamie Lee Curtis’ poop yogurt.’” But the aspect of Kavanaugh’s record that has gotten the most attention over the past 24 hours is the 2009 paper he wrote arguing that sitting presidents should not be subject to criminal prosecution. “So Trump picked the guy who thinks presidents shouldn’t be prosecuted,” Colbert said. “That’s like Steph Curry picking the ref, and the ref previously ruled, ‘Warriors number one!’” “Now, ‘leave the president alone’ might seem to be an odd position from a guy like Kavanaugh, who worked for Ken Starr’s investigation of Bill Clinton,” the host added. “But that was before Kavanaugh worked for George W. Bush.” In response to Kavanaugh’s claim that “the job of president is far more difficult than any other civilian position in government,” Colbert asked, “So he thinks the president should be above the law because his job is hard? In that case, I say moms of three or more kids ought to be able to murder at will.” Finally, Colbert noted the fact that Kavanaugh has been called the “Forrest Gump of Republican politics.” That, he said, explains this quote from the judge: “My mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. It begins at conception!’”