John Oliver had some home truths for Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner on Sunday’s edition of “Last Week Tonight”. The late-night host ripped into Donald Trump’s daughter and son-in-law following a report in The New York Times that claimed the U.S. president ordered officials to grant top-level security clearance to Kushner, despite concerns from fellow White House staff. “One major issue with Jared having access to state secrets is, you know, it’s Jared — a guy who, even among Jareds, stands out as the ‘Jared’ of the group,” Oliver joked. RELATED: John Oliver Thinks It’s ‘Dangerous’ To Pay So Much Attention To The 2020 US Elections Oliver also couldn’t believe that Kushner maintained such a healthy skincare regime while under so much stress and pressure. “This is a guy who’s not just brokering peace in the Middle East, he’s tackling the opioid crisis, and national infrastructure as the head of the office of American innovation, while constantly traveling halfway around the world, and doing it all while navigating the psycho-sexual Stalingrad that is marriage to Donald Trump’s daughter… John Oliver absolutely destroyed Ivanka Trump, and Jared Kushner tonight — and a grateful nation thanks Mr. Oliver once again for his well-researched service 🇺🇸 pic.twitter.com/xFFV8E7F0R — Brenna Simon (@BrennaSimonSays) March 4, 2019 “Where are the bags under his eyes? How is his skin so smooth? It is deeply worrisome how unworried he looks. The only way you maintain that glow with that to-do list is by not really understanding anything on it.” RELATED: John Oliver Shares His Thoughts On Trump’s Second Term, Brexit Oliver then turned his attention to Ivanka, who recently told The View that her father did not help her or her husband get security clearance. “Oh, please,” said Oliver. “I honestly don’t know what’s sadder there: either Ivanka is knowingly lying about her Dad forcing her and Jared’s security clearance through, or she genuinely thinks they got it on merit on their own. “And if it is the latter, Ivanka, there are some things that you really should know. You only became an executive vice president of the Trump Organization at 24 because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you are a 24-year-old business prodigy. You only got a book deal because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you’re a brilliant author and wordsmith. And you only hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant because your Dad owned the contest, not for your sparkling on-camera presence. “And you know how Santa Claus used to visit every Christmas morning to give you presents, well that wasn’t the real Santa, that was Michael Cohen, and trust me, he won’t be coming down your chimney anymore.” RELATED: Ivanka Trump Knocks Performance Art Involving Lookalike Vacuuming Speaking of Michael Cohen, earlier in the show, Oliver touched on Cohen’s congressional testimony, focusing in particular on a moment where Trump’s former lawyer called himself a “fool.” “The fact that Michael Cohen now has absolutely no respect for Michael Cohen is the first thing I’ve respected about Michael Cohen,” Oliver quipped.<doc-sep>John Oliver went after White House advisers Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner over their security clearance controversy on Sunday’s episode of Last Week Tonight. Setting Oliver off was a New York Times report last week that found President Donald Trump ordered former chief of staff John Kelly to give Kushner, his son-in-law, top-secret security clearance, against the advice of officials and a White House lawyer. “Jared is exactly where you’d expect a boy his age to be,” Oliver started, noting the 38-year-old’s responsibility to resolve the Israel-Palestine conflict: “Trying to broker a peace deal in one of the most intractable conflicts in geopolitical history.” “One major issue with Jared having access to state secrets is, you know, it’s Jared. A guy who, even among Jareds, stands out as the Jared of the group,” Oliver joked. “But the other issue with his top secret clearance concerns national security,” he continued, referencing a Washington Post report that officials from multiple foreign countries saw Kushner as “exploitable.” Oliver made sure to go off on a diatribe about Kushner’s appearance, calling him a “17th Century portrait of a Dutch teenager.” The Comedy Central host pointed out that administration officials have repeatedly denied Trump interfered with the security process, including Ivanka Trump, who in an interview with ABC said the president had no involvement in her and Kushner’s clearances. “Oh, please,” said Oliver. “I honestly don’t know what’s sadder there: either Ivanka is knowingly lying about her Dad forcing her and Jared’s security clearance through, or she genuinely thinks they got it on merit on their own. And if it is the latter Ivanka, there are some things that you really should know.” “You only became an executive vice president of the Trump Organization at 24 because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you are a 24-year-old business prodigy. You only got a book deal because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you’re a brilliant author and wordsmith. And you only hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant because your Dad owned the contest, not for your sparkling on camera presence.” Watch above, via Comedy Central. Have a tip we should know? [email protected]<doc-sep>John Oliver skewered Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump on Sunday's episode of Last Week Tonight. Taking aim at the couple's relative lack of political experience, he blasted their White House positions and security clearance as examples of nepotism. Nicknaming Kushner "Diminutive Nothing Boy 1," in reference to the ongoing Mueller probe into alleged collusion with Russia, Oliver took a swipe at the youthful senior advisor's diplomatic work in the Middle East. "Jared is right where you would expect a boy of his age to be. Trying to broker a peace deal in one of the most intractable conflicts in recent geopolitical history," the comedian said. Oliver speculated that Kushner maintains his relaxed, "radiant" appearance in spite of his role because he simply doesn't understand the complexities of the mammoth "to-do list" his diplomatic commitments entail. Although the senior aide looks like "a 17th century portrait of a Dutch teenager," Oliver said the stress he is surely under should give him the wrinkles of late former secretary of state Warren Christopher, who served in President Bill Clinton's cabinet back in the mid-1990s. Oliver did, however, praise Kushner's ability to to navigate the "psychosexual Stalingrad that is marriage to Donald Trump's daughter." Moving on to Ivanka, the comedian laid bare his views on nepotism in the White House. Targeting Trump's recent declaration on The View that her father had "no involvement" in her and Kushner's controversial security clearance, Oliver said she was either lying or genuinely believed the pair were deserving of the privilege. Her statement contradicts a recent report in The New York Times that claims her father ordered his former chief of staff, John Kelly, to grant Kushner "a top-secret clearance" back in 2019. Kelly and former White House counsel Don McGahn both reportedly stated their concerns about the move in internal memos. If Ivanka truly believes she and her husband achieved their clearances on their own merit, Oliver said, "there are some things that [she] really should know." "Ivanka...you only became an executive vice president of the Trump Organization at 24 because you're Donald Trump's daughter, not because you are a 24-year-old business prodigy," he said. "You only got a book deal because you're Donald Trump's daughter, not because you're a brilliant author and wordsmith, and you only hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant because your Dad owned the contest, not because of your sparkling on-camera presence," he added.<doc-sep>
John Oliver opened Last Week Tonight talking about President Donald Trump’s terrible week. Among his series of setbacks, his summit with North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un flopped, and his former fixer Michael Cohen called Trump a racist, cheat conman, and himself a “fool” for his slavish devotion to the guy. “The fact that Michael Cohen now has absolutely no respect for Michael Cohen is the first thing I’ve ever respected about Michael Cohen,’ Oliver admitted. Trump’s third fiasco in just one week involved was the New York Times revelation POTUS demanded his former White House Chief of Staff John Kelly give top-secret security clearance to First Son-In-Law Jared Kushner, though Kelly and other national security officials called it a terrible idea. One major issue with Jared – or, as he’s known in the Mueller Report, “Diminutive Nothing Boy 1” – having access to state secrets is “it’s Jared—a guy who, even among Jareds, stands out as the ‘Jared’ of the group,” joked Oliver. The other major issue, Washington Post reported, is that officials from China, Israel, Mexico, and the United Arab Emirates all saw Kushner as “exploitable” and hoped to manipulate him. Kushner initially failed to disclose meetings with Russian agents to the FBI, and there have been concerns over his dealings with foreign businessmen and officials.” “And that’s not even getting into my biggest concern which is his complexion,” Oliver revealed. “How the f*ck does he look so well rested?” Oliver ranted, noting Kushner is supposed to be tackling the opioid crisis, brokering peace in Mideast, and the national infrastructure – all while navigating the “psycho-sexual Stalingrad that is marriage to Donald Trump’s daughter.” “Where are the bags under his eyes? !” Oliver demanded to know, describing Jared as “looking like a 17th century portrait of a Dutch teenager.” “The only way you maintain that glow with that to-do list is by not really understanding anything on it,” Oliver concluded. The HBO late night host then played the week’s much replayed Ivanka video in which she told The View “The president had no involvement pertaining to my clearance or my husband’s clearance.” TV pundits called it Ivanka’s first public lie. “Oh, please,” said Oliver. “I honestly don’t know what’s sadder there: either Ivanka is knowingly lying about her Dad forcing her and Jared’s security clearance through, or she genuinely thinks they got it on merit on their own.” “And if it is the latter, Ivanka, there are some things that you really should know.” “You only became an executive vice president of the Trump Organization at 24 because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you are a 24-year-old business prodigy.” “You only got a book deal because you’re Donald Trump’s daughter, not because you’re a brilliant author and wordsmith.” “And you only hosted the Miss Teen USA pageant because your Dad owned the contest, not because of your sparkling on-camera presence.”