It was Thursday for most of the working world, but it was Christmas morning for late night political talk show hosts, as the long-awaited full report from Robert Mueller was unleashed. The report, which has been monologue fodder for the late night circuit for more than a year, was devoured by Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and others. Seth Meyers noted that the Mueller fetish extended to what color tie he was wearing, with no tie indicating he was “ready for a night on the town.” He also ran a montage of how pundits were convinced for months that Mueller was “wrapping up” his report. Meyers noted cave paintings in France also speculated that it was nearly over. One final Meyers zinger: people who were constantly refreshing their screens waiting for the Mueller report’s release got this important document the same way “most of us got our Coachella tickets,” said Meyers. Related Story 'The Late Show With Stephen Colbert' Returning Next Month To Ed Sullivan Theater With Full, Vaccinated Crowds Colbert pointed out that the old saying, “the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing” was particularly appropriate for the Trump camp. Since they did nothing, they were automatically presumed by themselves to be good men. He also zinged Attorney General William Barr for telling “a bald-faced lie,” winning praise from Trump for being “like the son I never had.” Colbert also quoted James Madison from the Federalist Papers. Such actions were, “Super f-ed up.” Most hilarously, Conan O’Brien asked why the Mueller report was sent to Congress on a CD-ROM. “Do computers even have CD-ROM drives any more?” O’Brien offered the Mueller Collection from K-Tel, a four CD-Rom volume that will help fans of old media keep up with the Trump investigation details. Some of the late show monologues:<doc-sep>Everyone is preparing a rapid response to the redacted version of Special Counsel Robert Mueller‘s 400-page Russia report, which the Department of Justice said will drop on Thursday. Late Night with Seth Meyers is apparently so excited about this upcoming event that it’s vowing to “give context to the redacted version of the Mueller report becoming public earlier in the day.” Host Seth Meyers said that he didn’t want to bump interviews of SNL’s Leslie Jones and Democratic presidential candidate, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg. Instead, he’s going to “make room for both” the interviews and the Mueller context crash course. JUST ANNOUNCED: This Thursday, #LNSM expands to 90 minutes! Featuring: ✅ #ACloserLook at the Mueller Report (which goes public Thursday morning) ✅ A brand new #GameOfJones with @lesdoggg ✅ @SethMeyers’ interviews with Mayor @PeteButtigieg & Amy Sedaris ✅ Music from @ToroyMoi pic.twitter.com/B3gaeSgehb — Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) April 15, 2019 “I simply will not stand for the Mueller report bumping Leslie Jones or vice versa, so we decided to make room for both,” Meyers said according to The Hill. The special coverage announcement was roundly mocked on Twitter. Apparently, there’s actually an audience that instead of reading the Mueller report relies on Seth Meyers for context. https://t.co/zgg0dacidD — John Riley (@jriley8832) April 15, 2019 I have to assume Seth Meyers' show is not staffed with experienced legal observers, or fact-checkers, or any of the benefits of NBC's actual newsroom. He isn't held to the same ethical constraints journalists are. This treatment of comedians as pseudo-newsmen is not a good idea. — Alex Griswold (@HashtagGriswold) April 15, 2019 Definitely think people should look to Seth Meyers for in-depth legal analysis of the Mueller Report. Seriously, this is almost too on-the-nose as an unwitting self-parody of how up their own asses and hyper-politicized late night shows have become. https://t.co/NXIe1syN6z — Esoteric Jeff (@EsotericCD) April 15, 2019 In a few instances, the intelligence of individuals who would turn in to hear Meyers speak on the legal implications of the Mueller report was called into question. It’s worth mentioning that some studies and polls have shown that some people do trust comedians more than news sources. The context you should know is that Attorney General William Barr and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein have determined that the evidence was “not sufficient” to allege that President Donald Trump obstructed justice. However, Special Counsel Robert Mueller did not exonerate Trump, Barr said. This has led some to predict that there may still be details in the report damaging enough to the president to spawn impeachment proceedings. Meanwhile, President Trump has falsely claimed to have been “completely exonerated by Mueller. In reality, while Mueller did not allege a conspiracy between Trump/Trump campaign and Russia, he also didn’t exonerate Trump of obstructing the investigation. Whatever “not exonerating” looks like is supposed to (mostly) be released on Thursday morning. We say mostly because we already know that grand jury info, info that would jeopardize ongoing cases, info that would unfairly highlight expose third parties and info revealed intel sources and methods will all be redacted. We also know that these redactions will be color-coded and be accompanied by explanatory notes. The report is going to be about 400 pages long (not counting exhibits etc.) and the Trump lawyer rebuttal is reportedly being “whittled down” from 140 pages to around 50 pages. Although criticism of Barr has heightened in recent days, Deputy AG Rosenstein has attempted to defend his boss. “He’s being as forthcoming as he can, and so this notion that he’s trying to mislead people, I think is just completely bizarre,” Rosenstein said. “It would be one thing if you put out a letter and said, ‘I’m not going to give you the report,’” he added. “What he said is, ‘Look, it’s going to take a while to process the report. In the meantime, people really want to know what’s in it. I’m going to give you the top-line conclusions.’ That’s all he was trying to do.” Rosenstein also said Americans should have “tremendous confidence” in Barr. Democrats’ confidence in Barr or lack thereof has been well-documented. Part of that was a problem of Barr’s own making. You may remember that Barr sent an “unsolicited” memo to DOJ officials in June 2018, expressing his belief that the obstruction of justice probe that began after President Trump fired former FBI Director James Comey was a no-go. Barr memorably characterized the “specific obstruction-of-justice theory” he believed his long-time friend Robert Mueller was considering as “fatally misconceived.” Barr said it was well within Trump’s authority to fire Comey and to ask Comey to give fired National Security Advisor Michael Flynn a “break.” Trump would later tell NBC News’ Lester Holt that “this Russia thing” had something to do with the firing. At the time Barr sent this letter, Jeff Sessions was still the AG. It seemed obvious, however, that Sessions, having recused himself from the Russia probe, was not long for this role. What happened next? Matthew Whitaker was appointed acting AG and, after a few tumultuous months, Whitaker was replaced by Barr. Confidence in Barr reached newer lows when he floated the idea before lawmakers that “unauthorized spying” of the Trump campaign may have occurred. Later that day, Barr said he had “no evidence” to support this. Despite this, President Trump tweeted “THEY SPIED ON MY CAMPAIGN (We will never forget)!” earlier Monday. THEY SPIED ON MY CAMPAIGN (We will never forget)! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 15, 2019 [Image via VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images] Have a tip we should know? [email protected]<doc-sep>Thursday’s edition of Late Night with Seth Meyers will run for an extra half hour to mark the release of FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report exonerating President Donald Trump of collusion with the Russian government. Justice Department spokeswoman Kerri Kupec confirmed on Monday that Attorney General William Barr plans to release a redacted version of the Mueller report on Thursday. In a statement released hours later, NBC then announced that the episode will be lengthened from one hour to 90 minutes “to give context to the redacted version of the Mueller report becoming public earlier in the day.” The show, hosted by anti-Trump fanatic Seth Meyers, will also feature an interview with 2020 presidential hopeful and current Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg. Thursday night was initially reserved for Saturday Night Live cast member Leslie Jones providing a breakdown of the latest episode of Game of Thrones, but Meyers argued it was essential to find time for both. “I simply will not stand for the Mueller report bumping Leslie Jones or vice versa, so we decided to make room for both,” he said of the decision. A summary of the report released last month effectively exonerated Trump from all wrongdoing, with Barr writing in his conclusions that “the special counsel did not find that the Trump campaign, or anyone associated with it, conspired or coordinated with the Russian government in these efforts.” “There was no collusion with Russia. There was no obstruction. It was a complete and total exoneration,” Trump said at the time. “It’s a shame that the country had to go through this. This was an illegal takedown that failed.” Follow Ben Kew on Facebook, Twitter at @ben_kew, or email him at bkew@breitbart.com.<doc-sep>
Late-night hosts had a field day mulling over the details of special counsel Robert Mueller's highly anticipated report on Thursday night. Despite President Donald Trump's many claims Mueller's report "completely exonerated" him from colluding with Russian officials during the 2016 presidential election, there were still plenty of damning details in the report, including instances of Trump's attempts to obstruct justice. Just about every late night talk show host tackled the 448-page report in lengthy monologues, poking fun at various aspects of the report from the several redactions to the fact that it was delivered to members of Congress on a CD-ROM. "You know how for a couple of years now you've been thinking, It's probably bad stuff in the Mueller report that makes Donald Trump look terrible? But like three weeks ago…something like three weeks ago Attorney General [William] Bill Barr put out his four-page Valentine to Donald Trump and then you thought, Maybe I'm crazy? Well if you just returned to this dimension from the phantom zone, I want you to know today the Mueller report was released and I'm here to tell ya, you're not crazy," Stephen Colbert said in his opening monologue on the Late Show. Colbert noted it was obvious Barr hadn't read the report before releasing his summary, because "there's some insane s**t in here." "Barr knowingly sat up there and said a bald-faced lie," Colbert said. "The president must be so proud." Meanwhile, on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon couldn't get over the several excluded details included in the report. So he performed the song "(Can't Take No) Redactions"—a politically inspired rendition of the Rolling Stones hit "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Jimmy Kimmel was mostly just happy with the swarms of people in the public who were reading through and commenting on the report. "Say what you will about this president, [but] he has Americans reading again," he joked on Live! On Late Night With Seth Meyers, the host seemed baffled by the many weeks Trump "spent declaring victory and setting incredibly high expectations for how the report would totally and completely vindicate him of everything," even though the president later confessed he hadn't even read the report, in which Mueller implicated there were grounds for Congress to consider impeachment due to the multiple cases of obstruction listed in the document. Conan O'Brien couldn't believe the report was actually delivered on a CD. "Yes, I'm not making that up! They delivered the report on a CD-ROM. Do computers even have a CD drive? I haven't heard CD-ROM in a long time," O'Brien said. He had a solution for elderly folks—like the congressional leaders the report was delivered to—that could help senior citizens get all the information of the Mueller report through the outdated computer platform via a hilarious infomercial for The Mueller Collection, four "easy volumes" of 80 hours worth of "transcripts, testimonies and quotes from all the major featured in the Mueller report."