Seth Meyers isn’t cutting White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders any slack amid reports that she didn’t want to do a daily press briefing. After Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen was brought in to answer questions about the Trump administration’s widely criticized immigration policy on Monday, the Late Night host decided to stage a press briefing of his own to grill Sanders. “White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds a lot of press briefings but I, for one, don’t think they’re asking all the questions we need answers to,” he explained. “So we decided to hold another one, right here, right now.” Meyers then proceeded to pepper Sanders with questions about when she was going to start telling the truth—”Not today or tomorrow or at any point ever”—and why does Trump want to meet with Putin—”To accept the check.” Watch the full clip below. Get The Brief. Sign up to receive the top stories you need to know right now. Please enter a valid email address. * The request timed out and you did not successfully sign up. Please attempt to sign up again. Sign Up Now An unexpected error has occurred with your sign up. Please try again later. Check the box if you do not wish to receive promotional offers via email from TIME. You can unsubscribe at any time. By signing up you are agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy . This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Thank you! For your security, we've sent a confirmation email to the address you entered. Click the link to confirm your subscription and begin receiving our newsletters. If you don't get the confirmation within 10 minutes, please check your spam folder. Write to Megan McCluskey at megan.mccluskey@time.com.<doc-sep>Seth Meyers didn’t have a new “A Closer Look” segment on “Late Night” Tuesday night, but that doesn’t mean Meyers skipped making jokes at Donald Trump’s expense. His monologue was filled with barbs pointed directly at Trump, from his family separation policy to his claims about German crime statistics to a loophole that Trump himself offered up in a tweet that Meyers joked is the key to finally getting rid of him. Since Meyers’ monologue is a series of quick hitters every night, we’ll just organize the quotes by what joke he’s making. The legal loophole that will allow the U.S. to dump Trump: “President Trump tweeted today, quote, ‘If you don’t have Borders, you don’t have a Country.’ And if you don’t have a country, you can’t have a president! So we did it, we got rid of him. It was the border. It was the borders this whole time.” Also Read: Kimmel Calls Out Trump for 'BS' Immigration Rhetoric: 'When Did Donald Trump Start Caring About Laws?' On Kirstjen Nielsen’s claim that Congress could quickly handle the family separation crisis: “Homeland Security Sec. Kirstjen Nielsen yesterday dismissed demands that President Trump unilaterally end the practice of separating families at the border. And said, quote, ‘Congress can fix this tomorrow.’ Really? Have you met congress? they are still finalizing the Louisiana Purchase.” On Trump’s speech Tuesday to the National Federation of Independent Business: “President Trump today spoke to the National Federation of Independent Businesses. Am I crazy or is he just making up fake organizations to speak to because he’s afraid to talk to actual voters? ‘Oh, you hate me because of my immigration policies? Funny, because the League of Women Fishermen said they’d love it if I spoke at their birthday flounder fest.’ ” On Trump’s relationship with his chief of staff John Kelly: “According to Politico, White House chief of staff John Kelly has been going to the gym in the middle of the day. Well, that’s one sure way to not run into the boss. President Gym Rat over here.” Also Read: Colbert: It's 'Optimistic' to Think U.S. Will Still Have History Books After Trump Era (Video) On a new revelation about Donald Trump Jr.: “According to a new book about President Trump’s children, Donald Trump Jr. was nicknamed ‘Diaper Don’ in college and would wake up covered in piss in strangers rooms. Like father like son, I guess.” On Trump’s claims about German crime stats that don’t exist: “President Trump repeated his false statement today that crime is up in Germany and said the numbers may appear lower because officials don’t want to report the crimes. Dude, you want us to believe you’ve been poring over secret unreleased German crime statistics? You haven’t even read your own autobiography.” On Trump hugging an American flag at the previously mentioned NFIB meeting: “After speaking at a small business event today, President Trump hugged an American flag as he walked off the stage. ‘It worked,’ said Eric.” Also Read: Seth Meyers: Trump Is Trying to 'Gaslight the Country' Over Family Separation Policy The punchline for that joke, by the way, came in this image that appeared at the end of the quote: On the 40th anniversary of the “Garfield” comics (yes, this is a Trump joke): “And, finally, today was the 40th anniversary of the first ‘Garfield’ comic strip. So from one guy making fun of a fat lazy orange narcissist to another, congratulations.” You can watch Seth Meyers’ monologue from Tuesday’s episode of “Late Night,” which also includes a few non-political jokes, in the video embedded at the top of this post.<doc-sep>Seth Meyers spent time on his show Wednesday night ripping President Donald Trump‘s lies and at one point even getting in a jab at Fox and Friends Steve Doocy. Speaking during “A Closer Look” segment, Meyers started by saying that Trump’s true political skill lies in the fact he has no shame. “Trump’s only political skill is his total and complete lack of shame,” Meyers said. “His malignant narcissism allows him to confidently and brazenly lie in the way that most other politicians would be too embarrassed to even try.” He then turned to Trump signing the executive order, stressing that Trump does not deserve credit when he created the problem himself. “You don’t get credit for solving a problem when you yourself created the problem,” Meyers continued on. “You can’t eat half a cheeseburger, put it down and say you’re a vegan—especially when everyone knows you’re just waiting for people to stop paying attention so you can finish your cheeseburger.” Then he said this: “Whether it’s the birther lie or the ‘Mexicans are rapists’ lie or the idea that Democrats are responsible for separating families, Trump’s paranoid fantasies are a Rosetta Stone for understanding what’s happening right now.” At one point, Meyers also took a moment to rip on “State TV outlet” Fox and Friends. He then showed a clip of Trump telling Doocy, “we have the great brain power right in this country, I’m proud to say and you are certainly a member of that group.” Meyers replied with a shake of the head and a “no” before adding, “You think Steve Doocy has brain power, the guy who lost his [bleep] when you complimented him on air?” He then showed a clip of Doocy losing his [bleep] on the air. Meyers normally concludes his 10-minute segment with a joke. Tonight, however, he had a serious message for America. “This is not who we are but it is who we are right now,” Meyers said. “You personally might not be this, but who we are is too often decided by those in power, which is why you vote. So remember, if you want who we are to match with who you are, you have to get up early and vote next chance you have.” Watch above, via NBC [image via screengrab] Have a tip we should know? [email protected]<doc-sep>Donald Trump has always been a shameless liar, but took it to a new level this week with his administration’s defenses of his cruel family separation policy, Seth Meyers said. Trump’s only political skill is his total and complete lack of shame. “His malignant narcissism allows him to confidently and brazenly lie in a way that most other politicians would be too embarrassed to even try,” Meyers explained. Like this week when he claimed he had cut more regulations than any other president in history, “including fictional ones,” Meyers said. He rolled a clip of Trump delivering a speech in which he claimed to have set an all-time high in the history of this country in cutting regulations. “We’ve cut more regulations than any administration” whether that administration lasted four or eight years, “or 16 years in one case.” “No. In no cases,” Meyers insisted. “Trump might be thinking of FDR, who was elected to a fourth term but he only served 12 years. To know that you’d have to be some kind of history buff or, you know, in seventh grade.” As outrage grew over the Trump take-the-babies southern border policy, various members of his administration, and the man himself, lied when they insisted Trump could not end his policy by executive order – or phone call – saying only Congress could fix it. Until this morning, when Trump ended the abuse with an executive order. For which Trump gave himself a lot of credit as he signed it. “Let’s be clear… You don’t get credit for solving the problem when you’re the one who created the problem,” Meyers scolded Trump. Whether it’s the birther lie, or the Mexicans are rapists lie, or the idea that Democrats are responsible for Trump’s administration separating families, Trump’s “paranoid fantasies are a Rosetta stone for understanding what’s happening right now,” Meyers said. Fox News “has spent the past week lying about the policy and trying to make you believe that what you’re seeing with your own eyes isn’t actually real,” he added, including push back on those calling “cages” the confinement into which some children were put. Steve Doocy said they looked to him more like chain-link walled areas. “Let’s be clear about something: If you rip a child away from its parents, and you put that child in a suite at the Ritz, you’re still a f*cking monster,” Meyers clarified. “The through line of Trump’s political career is blindingly clear. He concocts racist lies, uses dehumanizing language to justify cruelty toward immigrants and outsiders. It wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t a law. It was a choice by Trump and his supporters. And, lest you have any doubt at all about how the people who support this policy really feel, here’s Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager, on Fox News last night.” Meyers then played the clip of Lewandowski on Fox News Channel Tuesday night, making what Mark Hamill described as the “sad trombone” “wah-wahhh” sound, when a Democrat was speaking about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome who had been separated from her mother. “Man, I thought when you showed a d**k on TV you had to blur it,” Meyers marveled.<doc-sep>
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders did not want to lead the daily press briefing Monday, according to CNN, because she wanted to avoid answering questions about the Trump administration's widely criticized immigration policy, which includes separating children from their parents. Sanders denied this claim and said Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen was brought in because she wanted an "expert" on the topic. Nonetheless, on "Late Night with Seth Meyers," the host staged a faux press briefing with Sanders to ask the secretary some of his burning questions. "White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders holds a lot of press briefings but I, for one, don't think they're asking all the questions we need answers to," Meyers said. "So we decided to hold another one, right here, right now. That's right, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the 'Late Night' press corps are here in our studio and ready to go. So without further ado, it's time for the 'Late Night White House Press Briefing.'" The show panned between actual footage of Sanders at the White House answering reporters' questions and Meyers and his team mimicking journalists and pining for her focus. "Sarah, over here, yes thank you," Meyers said. "Seth Meyers, 'Late Night with Seth Meyers,' Secretary Sanders, when are you going to start telling us the truth?" "Not today, or tomorrow, or at any point ever," Sanders said. For Sanders' responses for this segment, Meyers used answers that the press secretary had offered in the past, but to Meyers' questions, Sanders' replies were comically self-incriminating. "Can you tell us a little bit about Eric Trump's birthday party?" Meyers asked next, his colleagues ferociously writing down notes. "No one from the White House staff will attend," Sanders replied. Meyers returned to Sanders. "Sarah, where do you see yourself in five years?" he wondered. "Further from the truth," Sanders said. Perhaps, the most biting interaction of the segment came when Meyers said, "President Trump seems to be fairly unfriendly to Angela Merkel. Was there ever a time when Trump liked Germany?" "From 1942 to 1945," Sanders replied, the end of the Nazi regime. The audience gasped and booed, before eventually cheering for Meyers. After all, it explained a lot. Meyers kept hitting hard on all the controversy close to Trump and his administration. "Why does President Trump want to meet with Vladimir Putin?" he asked. "To accept the check," Sanders said. Meyers even took several jabs at Trump's fitness abilities, or lack thereof, throughout his show Tuesday night. "What does Trump call one jumping jack?" he asked Sanders. "The White House sports and fitness day," Sanders replied. Another question from Meyers asked her to describe the president's fitness regime, to which Sanders responded succinctly: "Cake." In a separate segment during Meyers' monologue, he shared the news that "According to Politico, White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has been going to the gym in the middle of the day. Well, that’s one sure way to not run into the boss," Meyers said, showing a picture of Trump. But in the "Late Night" press briefing, Meyers dug in to Sanders. "Sarah, be honest, do you ever feel like you're a little passive aggressive?" "I would be happy to answer it if you would stop talking long enough to let me [do] that," Sanders snapped. Meyers tried to mimic reporters' defensive demeanors in the press briefing but could barely contain his laughter after that response. In the end, Meyers suggested he and Sanders switch roles. "Your turn; why don't you tell a joke," Meyers said. "I work every single day to give you accurate and up-to-date information," Sanders said. And Meyers, the fake reporters around him and all of us belly-laughed. It was by far the funniest joke of the night.