Stephen Colbert has returned from a short break, while the U.S. government has not. So, to catch up, the Late Show host spent ten glorious minutes on Monday night absolutely roasting the president's now 17-day shutdown of the government, in which Donald Trump has demanded $5.7 billion to build his border wall. Colbert gleefully slammed Trump's claims that former presidents told him the wall should have already been built (they didn't), and that Barack Obama had the absolute nerve to build walls (!) around his property (he didn't). Along with a solid Pong reference, Colbert made up for his absence during Trump's misguided Game of Thrones-themed propaganda campaign with a deep burn. "I can understand why Trump loves that Game of Thrones wall," quipped Colbert. "Because the only walkers who got through were white."<doc-sep>Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. If you’re interested in hearing from The Times regularly about great TV, sign up for our Watching newsletter and get recommendations straight to your inbox. Colbert Returns From Self-Imposed Shutdown After a two-week hiatus, Stephen Colbert greeted his audience the best way he knew how: with a sidelong jab at President Trump. The president is threatening to continue the government shutdown, which began on Dec. 22, for months to come if he does not receive congressional approval for funding a border wall.<doc-sep>Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Talks Good Trouble And 70% Marginal Tax on 'The Late Show with Stephen Colbert' By Kristy Puchko | TV | January 22, 2019 | Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the youngest woman ever elected to the House of Representatives. She took down an Establishment Democrat and is shaking up the party, riling people on the left and especially the right. And now, she’s returning to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to talk taxes, ice cream, and giving no f*cks. Ocasio-Cortez represents areas of The Bronx and Queens, and you can hear the local love as the audience goes wild upon her entrance. From there, she explains how the government shutdown has impacted the new class of incoming reps. “The downside is we’re not able to get to work as much as we want to in the beginning,” she says, “but the bright side is that it gives us a lot more free time to make trouble.” Listen to her talking about good trouble and her pointers on how to Twitter like a pro. In the opening, Colbert addressed the ongoing government shutdown. He revealed The Late Show’s fundraiser to feed furloughed government workers has raised $133,000 since Thursday. Colbert also asked Ocasio-Cortez about the accusations that she’s disrupting “party unity” of the Democrats. Then they get into her 70% Marginal Tax and the idea’s Republican origins. “On a scale of zero to some, how many f*cks do you give?” “Zero.” It looks like Colbert just gave Ocasio-Cortez her re-election motto. ← The 2019 Academy Award Nominations | Chris Brown Detained On Rape Charges In Paris → Kristy Puchko is the managing editor of Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter. Header Image Source: CBS<doc-sep>With the government shutdown now stretching past the one-month mark, a number of celebrities have gotten involved to help ease the burden of federal workers. Here is how some stars are helping. ​​ Bon Jovi On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the singer's JBJ Soul Kitchen in Red Bank, New Jersey, served free meals to federal workers and their families. Bon Jovi’s wife, Dorothea Bongiovi, told The Newark Star-Ledger she hopes families will use the restaurant as a resource. Her Toms River location will provide lunch to federal employees Wednesday. This isn't the restaurant's first charitable gesture: Since opening in 2011, JBJ Soul Kitchen, whose motto is "community dining with dignity," has allowed customers to pay a donation or volunteer to pay for their meals. Jose Andres and Stephen Colbert World Central Kitchen, the celebrity chef's charity providing meals in disaster zones, launched its #ChefsForFeds initiative in mid-January. The group set up a kitchen and cafe at 701 Pennsylvania Avenue, between the White House and Capitol Hill. (The group is also looking for more restaurants, food trucks and other businesses interested in joining the nationwide campaign.) Last week, as the shutdown neared four weeks, "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert began selling "shut down" mugs bearing the slogan "Don't even talk to me until I've had my paycheck," with 100 percent of the profits going to help #ChefsForFeds. Shutdown central: These businesses are offering free food, admission to feds Jimmy Kimmel In mid-January, the ABC late-night host began offering furloughed feds a side hustle they won't soon forget. Beneficiaries of the temp gigs included a prison guard who played tambourine with the band, a firefighter working security with guard Guillermo, a NASA engineer who was put in charge of the studio's "applause" button, and an air-traffic controller who was put to work behind the bar in the show's green room. Other memorable moments: A couple from the IRS got a taste of the celebrity life when they worked as Ted Danson's entourage, and a TSA officer helped Kimmel determine which man-on-the-street guest was high. KISS Band members Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons announced last week that all TSA employees working without pay can eat for free at their stand-alone Rock & Brews locations. "We’re proud to operate our Rock & Brews restaurants at airports and respect the diligent, hard work of each and every TSA employee to ensure the safety of who else, us who travel around the world," Simmons said in a video announcement posted to Twitter Thursday. Stanley continued: "While the TSA continues to work on our behalf without pay, we want to make sure that we can at least provide them with a delicious meal to show our support. We want you to eat well because you do so much for us." Furloughed workers can choose from either a pulled pork sandwich or a strawberry fields salad. Ellen DeGeneres The TV host surprised Maryland sisters Jaqi Wright and Nikki Howard, who created a cheesecake business called The Furlough Cheesecake to make ends meet during the shutdown, with $20,000 courtesy of Cheerios. "Around here we keep trying to think of ways to help at least a few of the people that are going through this," DeGeneres told her studio audience. "I heard about two sisters outside of Washington, D.C., who decided to do something about it." Nikki and Jaqi said they try to bake up to 100 cheesecakes a day to keep up with their online orders, but DeGeneres seemed to ease their load by dropping a pretty penny. "That's to buy one cheesecake," she said. "So you get that $20,000 and you send me a cheesecake, because I love cheesecake." Michael Moore The filmmaker invited federal workers and their families to his movie theaters in Michigan to escape reality with a night out at the cinema, free of charge. "It’s not much, but I’ve opened up my two movie theaters in Michigan for free," Moore tweeted Jan. 9. "Popcorn and pop is free, too." He continued: "The bigger issue: Trump must end his shutdown now." Harlem Globetrotters The world-famous Harlem Globetrotters team is giving free tickets to upcoming games in its 2019 Fan Powered North American tour to any U.S. government employee currently on furlough. Ticket prices for these high energy entertaining basketball games normally range from $15 to more than $100, depending on the venue and seat location. Furloughed employees just need to show a valid government ID at their local box office and receive two complimentary tickets, while supplies last during the shutdown. Celebrity attorney Ben Brafman After seeing a local TV news interview with Antony Tseng, an environmental engineer on furlough from the EPA, the high-powered celebrity defense lawyer wrote him a check for $5,000. "It's a check made out to Antony Tseng," Brafman told Fox 5New York. "It's a gift, it's not a loan. There's no strings attached." Tseng, who said he was being reclassified as essential so that he could be sent to aid first-responders in the California wildfire zone, said the gift would "lift some of the pressure off" during his deployment. Contributing: Cydney Henderson, The Tennessean Brafman out: Harvey Weinstein breaks with his criminal defense lawyer<doc-sep>
"Happy Martin Luther King Day, in which we honor Dr. King's dream, 50 percent off at Nordstrom's," Stephen Colbert joked on Monday's Late Show. He caught everyone up on the Rams-Saints game and a blatant foul that cost New Orleans the game, and "speaking of things that make you scream at your TV: Donald Trump," he said, pivoting. On Day 31 of the government shutdown, President Trump hasn't forgotten about the 800,000 workers going without paychecks, but Colbert found his supportive tweet wanting. "They're not volunteering to work for free," he pointed out. "You might as well have tweeted: 'THANK YOU, GREAT PATRIOTS! Please accept this Tweet in lieu of a paycheck. Quick tip: tell your landlord Mexico's going to pay your rent.'" But Trump did go on TV Saturday and "made an offer that he was sure everyone would love," Colbert said. "In exchange for his border wall, Trump offered to restore DACA and TPS protections for three years — which is weird, since they're protections that he himself took away." Democrats "somehow did not fall for" Trump's temporary hostage deal, he said, and in fact, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) "said no before Trump even asked — a move known in Washington as 'The Melania.'" On Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kimmel's Abe Lincoln was joined by George Washington (Fred Armisen), Thomas Jefferson (Bobby Moynihan), and Teddy Roosevelt (Jeff Ross) on Mount Rushmore as a new face was added: Trump (Anthony Atamanuik). The former presidents wanted to know what Trump did to get on the monument. "I also ended slavery," Kimmel's Lincoln said. "That's not true — I've been making a bunch of federal employees work for free for 31 days," Trump said. And he also made some ... changes to the treasured national park. Watch below. Peter Weber