Mullally and Offerman, an incredibly hilarious couple who have been married since 2003 and recently co-authored “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told: An Oral History,” led the women through a storytelling exercise during which they told stories about their own “first” experiences. We saw Hannah G., the content creator, struggling to create content. But for the most part, this was actually one of the better challenges we’ve seen in recent seasons — what should be the women’s most scripted moments turn out more authentically natural than expected.<doc-sep>After a slog of a premiere, The Bachelor got back to the basics for episode 2. No live viewing parties. No former contestants. No tributes to Chris Harrisons. A lot went down in Week 2. A new villain emerged, conversations were interrupted and Colton kissed a lot of women. But before we get into all of that, let’s recap our bachelor’s night… Grading Colton’s performance First we get a self-shot message from Colton, who, of course, has no shirt on. He’s still in bed, but his beard is perfectly trimmed and I’m pretty sure he’s wearing foundation. Either that or the dude has perfect skin — a possibility I’m certainly not ruling out. Colton tells us the plan for the first group date: He’s taking the group to a theater, where the lucky women will tell a story about “our first,” which isn’t vague at all. Colton is excited, and, frankly, that’s all that matters. The next time we see our bachelor, he’s at the theater, where celebrity couple Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are waiting. We’re not even two episodes in and Colton has Becca beat in the “celebrity guest” department. Last season’s guests included Wayne Newton, Lil’ Jon and the Baha Men. Ron Swanson’s got them all beat. At the 13:25 mark of the episode, we get our first mention of Colton’s virginity. Honestly, that’s 13:20 later than I thought we’d get it. Colton is telling the story of the first time he told his teammates he was a virgin… “So for most of my adult life, I had a secret: I was a virgin. And as an athlete, I thought I had to fit this mold. I made up lies, and I was uncomfortable speaking my truth. One day I get to the locker room, and a veteran asks me. He says, ‘How many girls have you slept with?’ So I sat there sweating. What’s a good lie? Is it one? Four? Ten? A hundred? What am I gonna do? It finally came out of my mouth and I said, ‘zero.’ And I didn’t know what the reaction was gonna be and I was expecting to get ridiculed. And the first thing that I heard was, ‘wow, man, that’s really cool.’.” Colton brought the house down, though I feel like we’re at the point where Colton could just say anything and this group of women will applaud him. I’m like 95% sure an Austin Powers impression would have drawn a similar reaction. Afterward, Colton kisses just about everyone on the group date. OK, so it was only Demi, Elyse and Hannah G., but it felt like he was kissing everyone. After a few heartfelt conversations, he awards the group date rose to Elyse because she showed him “a different side” of herself during the date, which is a curious thing to say about someone he’s had exactly one conversation with prior to the date. Literally any side she showed him would have been a different side of her. Whatever. The next time we see Colton, it’s time for his first solo date, which will be with Hannah B. Expectations are high… “This is the first one-on-one of my journey,” Colton says. “I want it to be great. I don’t want it to be good. I want it to be great.” I’m sad to report that the date was not great. It wasn’t even good. Things started off well enough before Colton came up with the idea to do a toast, which Hannah B. did not seem excited about. After struggling to come up with anything interesting to say, she went with “Roll Tide.” Honestly, it wasn’t a bad save. It got a laugh out of Colton. Colton tried his best to make Hannah comfortable, but it wasn’t happening. I’m thinking he should pop his shirt off. You know, just to ease the tension Here’s what he says instead… “I just want you to be comfortable in who you are and be real. At the end of the day, I’m here focused on finding somebody I’m going to spend the rest of my life with and somebody willing to go the distance, so I just want you to know that.” Now, I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but I feel like when the person you’re on a date with is feeling a little uncomfortable, you don’t start talking about spending the rest of your lives together. It’s a bit weird. Here’s how Hannah responded to that… “Yeah. Well … good.” Welp. Should’ve just taken his shirt off. “Do you wanna get in the hot tub?” Colton asks. That’s our boy. The hot tub does not solve a thing. Hannah is still an awkward mess and interrupts Colton mid-sentence to pick an eyelash from his face. She asks him to make a wish on the stray lash. If he’s thinking like I’m thinking, he’s wishing for this date to end It doesn’t and Colton points out that Hannah seems uncomfortable. She denies it while looking super uncomfortable, and it’s at this point where Colton probably realizes he made a huge mistake taking her on the first solo date. After a commercial break, we find out that there’s a nightcap to this never-ending date. Colton says if Hannah doesn’t open up, she’s going home. So what does Hannah do? She asks him why he’s a virgin, of course. Now we’re forced to listen to Colton explain (for the millionth time) that he was too focused on football instead of his own personal life — or whatever. Hannah deserves to go home just for bringing this up again. He should have kept the sloth. Hannah explains how she was also planning on waiting to get married before losing her virginity but it didn’t. Apparently, that was enough to get Colton back on the Hannah B. bandwagon. She gets a rose. Maybe bringing up the virginity thing wasn’t a bad strategy, after all. It’s time for the second group date, so we cut to Colton chopping wood for no reason in particular.<doc-sep>Have I underestimated Colton Underwood? Because his latest tweets have shown more self-awareness than I originally thought was there. Take what he wrote after last week's premiere, "I know the virginity thing is overplayed.... hang in there! You will find out other things about me, I promise." A Bachelor who actually gets it? Can you believe? And then there's this tweet from earlier today: "Tune in tonight to see me shower...probably." And he's right—literally the first thing we see after Chris Harrison says, "Tonight on The Bachelor..." is a shot of Colton in the shower while someone shouts, "He's so hot!" The point is, I like a self-aware Bachelor, and this gives me hope that the season might exceed expectations after all. The contestants, however, should probably channel some of that energy from Colton because things are getting banana nut crunch in the mansion. So let's get right to it, shall we? Read our recap for episode two, below, and be aware: Spoilers ahead. We open with Colton talking about the day ahead via a selfie video. It's a new format for The Bachelor, and I have a feeling it's just an excuse to sneak in one more shirtless scene. Meanwhile, Chris Harrison arrives at the mansion to drop off the first date card and a little advice: Take advantage of any time you get with Colton. This wisdom is especially important for Demi, Bri, Tracy, Elyse, Hannah G., Nicole, Onyeka, and Catherine, who all have the first group date of the season. Today's a damn good day to fall in love. —Chris Harrison They all arrive at a theater to a big reveal: Comedians and married couple Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally are leading today's date. They ask the women share a story about a "first time" in their life. Oh, God, this is a nod to Colton's virginity, isn't it? We can't make it 30 minutes without someone bringing up this man's sexual history. My hunch is confirmed as soon as Megan talks about the first time she had sex—or as she puts it, "fucked someone." Nick then describes the first time he "plucked the blossom" of a woman, which is really just a story was about gardening…I hope. "I wasn't sure I was there for the right reasons." —Megan Mullally After a brief writing break, everyone presents their stories to an audience of about 200 people. Colton kicks it off by talking about his virginity. (Of course.) Elyse's tale is about how she's always dated old men—until Colton, her "first" younger guy. Demi thinks it's "so brave" for Elyse to admit this because "there's no advantage to being an older woman here." Demi, What. The. Actual. Hell. I was rooting for you. We were all rooting for you! Nicole describes the first time she dated a white guy, and it's tragically cut short for Hannah G.'s snoozefest about getting her first-impression rose. All we know about Bri's story is that it's about the first time she "felt comfortable" in her own skin.<doc-sep>Colton Underwood eliminated seven women in the premiere of The Bachelor, and he’ll go on his first dates in Episode 2. You can play along with the show from week-to-week in The Bachelor Fantasy League. Each week, we’ll pore over all the episode previews to give you the best fantasy picks. Which contestants are primed to be fantasy MVPs in Week 2? We’re here to help. Who should I pick? As always, the objective in The Bachelor Fantasy League is to pick the 10 women you believe will score in multiple categories. If one of your picks checks off more than one box this week, you’ll get points for each category they score in. Hannah G. was the top scorer in Week 1 with 30 points, followed by Katie with 25. Keeping that in mind, here are our best picks for Week 2: GOES ON A GROUP DATE We've got a bad case of rose rage this week. 🌹 #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/L2QeP0wrov — The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 13, 2019 Pausing :21 into this clip, I see Onyeka, Elyse, Bri, Tracy, Nicole, Hannah G., and Demi – all these gals will get you fantasy rose points for goes on a group date in week 2. Given the non-rugged location in which this cocktail party is taking place, I’m thinking this is the date where the girls share stories about their “firsts” with Megan Mullally & Nick Offerman. – Marissa Kasner GETS A 1-ON-1 DATE CARD Well, this one is just free points. ABC posted a clip of HANNAH B. struggling to open up during what looks like a one-on-one date with Colton to the Bachelor Instagram’ page, so put in her in your lineup for an easy five spot. It looks like Colton isn’t sure he’s going to give her a rose, but that’s a good sign that she’ll ultimately get one. ABC is not just going to give away a (semi) spoiler like that, right? – Steven Ruiz RECEIVES A GROUP DATE ROSE Sticking with the girls identified as being on the group date in this clip, I doubt Hanna G. gets a second out-of-ceremony rose… and although Colton won’t see it, Demi & Tracy being involved in the rose drama lead me to believe they’re unlikely to receive it. So who does? Making a completely wild guess: ELYSE. – MK KISSES COLTON (ON THE LIPS) You can’t go wrong with any of the three women Colton kissed during the premiere. Out of those three — Hannah G., Katie and Caelynn — I’d lean toward HANNAH G. After she received the all-important First Impression Rose, there’s no chance she’s going home Week 2. At the very least, she’ll get you the five points for receiving a rose. – SR In the group date clip above, you see that DEMI and Colton have a quick kiss before she prematurely handles the rose and draws the ire of Tracy. – NS WINS A SLEEPAWAY CAMP NIGHT WITH COLTON For a guy who has never seen an episode of the show, I fared pretty well in fantasy for Week 1, and so I feel confident that the contestant who wins a Sleepaway Camp Night with Colton will be DEMI. Demi scored a modest 10 points last week, but she is clearly due for a big day, and I believe it will come in the form of winning a Sleepaway Camp Night with Colton. It seems like the whole Bachelor house — they all live in a house, right? — is more or less already a sleepaway camp, since I don’t imagine either Colton McHunkbro or any of the contestants live there year-round, but I suspect the capitalized Sleepaway Camp Night is a thing that sometimes happens on the show, where a Bachelor and one or more contestants go off into the woods and find themselves in embarrassing and/or provocative situations. Demi’s bio says she enjoys fishing and riding ATVs, so she’ll probably enjoy Sleepaway Camp Night, assuming this particular camp includes activities more fun than, like, learning how algae and fungus combine to create lichen. But Demi’s outdoorsy nature is really just a coincidence. I honestly just randomly chose her from the list. I feel strongly about this one. Cassie is a potential sleeper. – Ted Berg Cries (tears ON HER FACE) Here’s a shot-in-the-dark prediction: HEATHER and Colton have a long walk and talk about their respective virginity and it gets really emotional. I almost want to pick Demi for some reason, but I’ll stick with my choice. – Charles Curtis INTERRUPTS THE COCKTAIL PARTY CHAT WITH A NOISY PROP A clip from a Bachelor Instagram story revealed that ONYEKA, at some point, interrupts Colton’s chat with another woman using an airhorn. Now, it’s possible that it was deleted footage from the premiere – but it also could be the answer to this category. – NS RECEIVES A ROSE We know DEMI goes on the group date and kisses Colton in Week 2, and there’s enough future footage of Demi from the season preview that she’s a relative lock to stick around for a while. Your best bet is to stick with the women we see from the group date, and there are a number of seemingly safe choices: Hannah G. is the safest choice, and Heather isn’t a bad pick, either. – NS The For The Win staff will be playing Bachelor Fantasy all season long, and as an experiment, we’re pitting Bachelor die-hards (Marissa, Nick and Steven) against first-time viewers (Charles and Ted) to see who comes out on top. FTW scoreboard: Steven: 155 roses Nick: 145 roses Ted: 145 roses Marissa: 135 roses Charles: 135 roses<doc-sep>
Despite a star-studded second episode of "The Bachelor" (Mondays, 8 EST/PST), the new season of ABC's reality dating competition continues to focus on Colton Underwood's virginity. With three roses to offer up before the actual rose ceremony, it's time for the 23 remaining women to get to know Colton on a more personal level. Last week:Recap: 'The Bachelor' really wants you to know Colton Underwood's a virgin; 7 ladies ousted Storytime with Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman It's the first group date of the season and, following the theme of Colton's season thus far, it continues to be all about firsts. "Will and Grace" star Megan Mullally and her husband, actor Nick Offerman, join Demi, Bri, Tracy, Elyse, Hannah G., Nicole, Onyeka and Catherine at a theater where the women are scheduled to take turns telling stories about their "first time." As Mullally explains, the story can be about a "first kiss, first pet, first time you went to jail; anything that really stands out as something you would like to share with Colton." Some take a more predictable path, discussing their dating lives: Colton goes first and talks about the first time he told his football teammates he was a virgin. Elyse, 31, discloses this is her first time dating a younger man. Nicole, 25, tells the story of the first white man she dated. And then there's Demi, who commits her first – but not last – "Bachelor" faux pas of the episode when she kisses Colton in front of the entire crowd. "When I want something, I'm going after it," she says before tossing aside her notes and making her way toward Colton in the first row. She plants one on him, much to the shock of the audience. The rest of the women are outraged: "Bachelor" Rule No. 1 is that you never kiss the Bachelor in front of the other contestants. "And that is the story of how I got the first group-date rose," Demi says afterward. Spoiler alert: she doesn't. Later on at the cocktail party, she frustrates the other ladies again when she interrupts Colton and Tracy's conversation – while wearing a bathrobe – and steals him away upstairs. "Hey ladies, I totally just had an amazing time up there with him," she taunts afterward, unprompted. " I gave him a little massage and was chitchatting with him; we had a good time. I feel like I definitely helped him tonight, and I feel really good about everything." Colton apparently didn't feel quite as good about Demi and gives the rose to Elyse instead. The two spend their time together discussing the role age plays in relationships, and she cracks a joke about older contestants sharing a room called "Colton's Cougar Den." A rocky first one-on-one Hannah B., the 23-year-old former Miss Alabama who last week described herself as the "hot-mess express," nabs the first one-on-one date of the season, which also falls on her birthday. Coincidence? We think not. "We're not necessarily the best of friends," Caelynn shares. "We were super close and then she was not happy that I was first runner-up (at Miss USA). There were a lot of hurt feelings, for sure. With Hannah, there's a facade and it starts to crumble. Hannah kind of snapped." After that foreboding intro, Colton picks up Hannah for the first part of their date: riding horses and picnicking in the desert. And suddenly the "hot-mess express" arrives. The first one-on-one of the season is usually a softball date with someone producers know will make it pretty far in the game. But Hannah, a frontrunner, struggles to make conversation and open up to Colton. (She's stumped when he asks her to propose a toast, and the Alabamian finally settles on toasting to her birthday before ending with a quick "Roll Tide.") "Coming into this date, I probably wouldn't have had to question if I was giving Hannah a rose at the end of the night, and now I'm questioning everything," Colton says later. "It sort of made me scared that my intuition and my gut isn't as good as I thought it was." Hannah later confides that she has a hard time when people perceive her as anything less than perfect, which makes it difficult to show her real self. That's good enough for her to nab the rose, but it seems as though the pageant queen has fallen down Colton's power rankings.