I am so impatient to return to my own story, that what remains of young _Le Fever's_, that is, from this turn of his fortune, to the time my uncle _Toby_ recommended him for my preceptor, shall be told in a very few words in the next chapter. --All that is necessary to be added to this chapter is as follows.--
That my uncle _Toby_, with young _Le Fever_ in his hand, attended the poor lieutenant, as chief mourners, to his grave.
That the governor of _Dendermond_ paid his obsequies all military honours, --and that _Yorick_, not to be behind-hand--paid him all ecclesiastic--for he buried him in his chancel: --And it appears likewise, he preached a funeral sermon over him ----I say it _appears_, --for it was _Yorick's_ custom, which I suppose a general one with those of his profession, on the first leaf of every sermon which he composed, to chronicle down the time, the place, and the occasion of its being preached: to this, he was ever wont to add some short comment or stricture upon the sermon itself, seldom, indeed, much to its credit: --For instance, _This sermon upon the Jewish dispensation --I don't like it at all; --Though I own there is a world of WATER-LANDISH knowledge in it, --but 'tis all tritical, and most tritically put together. ------This is but a flimsy kind of a composition; what was in my head when I made it?_
----N. B. _The excellency of this text is, that it will suit any sermon, --and of this sermon, ----that it will suit any text. ------_
_ ----For this sermon I shall be hanged, --for I have stolen the greatest part of it. Doctor _Paidagunes_ found me out. [-->] Set a thief to catch a thief. ------_
On the back of half a dozen I find written, _So, so_, and no more----and upon a couple _Moderato_; by which, as far as one may gather from _Altieri's_ _Italian_ dictionary, --but mostly from the authority of a piece of green whipcord, which seemed to have been the unravelling of _Yorick's_ whip-lash, with which he has left us the two sermons marked _Moderato_, and the half dozen of _So, so_, tied fast together in one bundle by themselves, --one may safely suppose he meant pretty near the same thing.
There is but one difficulty in the way of this conjecture, which is this, that the _moderato's_ are five times better than the _so, so's_; --show ten times more knowledge of the human heart; --have seventy times more wit and spirit in them; --(and, to rise properly in my climax)--discovered a thousand times more genius; --and to crown all, are infinitely more entertaining than those tied up with them: --for which reason, whene'er _Yorick's_ _dramatic_ sermons are offered to the world, though I shall admit but one out of the whole number of the _so, so's_, I shall, nevertheless, adventure to print the two _moderato's_ without any sort of scruple.
What _Yorick_ could mean by the words _lentamente_, --_tenut_, --_grave_, --and sometimes _adagio_, --as applied to _theological_ compositions, and with which he has characterised some of these sermons, I dare not venture to guess. ----I am more puzzled still upon finding _a l'octava alta!_ upon one; ----_Con strepito_ upon the back of another; ----_Siciliana_ upon a third; ----_Alla capella_ upon a fourth; ----_Con l'arco_ upon this; ----_Senza l'arco_ upon that. ----All I know is, that they are musical terms, and have a meaning; ----and as he was a musical man, I will make no doubt, but that by some quaint application of such metaphors to the compositions in hand, they impressed very distinct ideas of their several characters upon his fancy, --whatever they may do upon that of others.
Amongst these, there is that particular sermon which has unaccountably led me into this digression ----The funeral sermon upon poor _Le Fever_, wrote out very fairly, as if from a hasty copy. --I take notice of it the more, because it seems to have been his favourite composition ----It is upon mortality; and is tied lengthways and cross-ways with a yarn thrum, and then rolled up and twisted round with a half-sheet of dirty blue paper, which seems to have been once the cast cover of a general review, which to this day smells horribly of horse drugs. ----Whether these marks of humiliation were designed, --I something doubt; ----because at the end of the sermon (and not at the beginning of it)--very different from his way of treating the rest, he had wrote----
Bravo!
----Though not very offensively, ----for it is at two inches, at least, and a half's distance from, and below the concluding line of the sermon, at the very extremity of the page, and in that right hand corner of it, which, you know, is generally covered with your thumb; and, to do it justice, it is wrote besides with a crow's quill so faintly in a small _Italian_ hand, as scarce to solicit the eye towards the place, whether your thumb is there or not, --so that from the _manner of it_, it stands half excused; and being wrote moreover with very pale ink, diluted almost to nothing, --'tis more like a _ritratto_ of the shadow of vanity, than of VANITY herself--of the two; resembling rather a faint thought of transient applause, secretly stirring up in the heart of the composer; than a gross mark of it, coarsely obtruded upon the world.
With all these extenuations, I am aware, that in publishing this, I do no service to _Yorick's_ character as a modest man; --but all men have their failings! and what lessens this still farther, and almost wipes it away, is this; that the word was struck through sometime afterwards (as appears from a different tint of the ink) with a line quite across it in this manner, [BRAVO]----as if he had retracted, or was ashamed of the opinion he had once entertained of it.
These short characters of his sermons were always written, excepting in this one instance, upon the first leaf of his sermon, which served as a cover to it; and usually upon the inside of it, which was turned towards the text; --but at the end of his discourse, where, perhaps, he had five or six pages, and sometimes, perhaps, a whole score to turn himself in, --he took a large circuit, and, indeed, a much more mettlesome one; --as if he had snatched the occasion of unlacing himself with a few more frolicksome strokes at vice, than the straitness of the pulpit allowed. --These, though hussar-like, they skirmish lightly and out of all order, are still auxiliaries on the side of virtue; --tell me then, Mynheer Vander Blonederdondergewdenstronke, why they should not be printed together?
I am so impatient to return to my own story, that what remains of young Le Fever's shall be told in a very few words in the next chapter. All that needs to be added in this chapter is as follows:
That my uncle Toby and young Le Fever attended the poor lieutenant, as chief mourners, to his grave.
That the governor of Dendermond paid him all military honours, and that Yorick paid for all ecclesiastic - for he buried him in his chancel: and it appears that he preached a funeral sermon over him. I say it appears, for it was Yorick's custom to write on the first page of every sermon which he composed, the time, place, and occasion of its being preached: to this, he would add some short comment upon the sermon itself, seldom, indeed, much to its credit.
For instance, 'This sermon upon the Jewish dispensation - I don't like it at all; 'tis most tritely put together. This is a flimsy composition; what was in my head when I made it?'
'- The excellency of this text is, that it will suit any sermon, and of this sermon, that it will suit any text.'
'- For this sermon I shall be hanged, for I have stolen most of it. Doctor Paidagunes found me out. Set a thief to catch a thief.'
On the back of half a dozen I find written, 'So-so,' - and upon a couple, 'Moderato;' by which, since he left the two sermons marked 'Moderato' and the half dozen of 'So-so' tied together in one bundle - one may safely suppose he meant pretty near the same thing.
There is but one difficulty with this, which is that the 'moderato's' are five times better than the 'so-so's'; show ten times more knowledge of the human heart; have seventy times more wit and spirit in them; (and, to rise properly in my climax) reveal a thousand times more genius; - and to crown all, are infinitely more entertaining than the 'so-so's'. Therefore, when Yorick's sermons are offered to the world, though I shall include only one of the 'so-so's', I shall, nevertheless, print the two 'moderato's' without any scruple.
What Yorick could mean by the words lentamente, tenut, grave, and sometimes adagio, with which he has labelled some of these sermons, I dare not guess. I am more puzzled still upon finding a l'octava alta! upon one; Con strepito upon another; Siciliana upon a third; Alla capella upon a fourth.
All I know is that they are musical terms, and have a meaning; and as he was a musical man, I have no doubt that his compositions impressed very distinct ideas of their characters upon his fancy.
Amongst these is that particular sermon which has unaccountably led me into this digression - the funeral sermon upon poor Le Fever. It seems to have been his favourite composition: it is upon mortality; and is tied lengthways and crossways with yarn, and then rolled up and twisted round with a half-sheet of dirty blue paper, which smells horribly of horse drugs. Whether these marks of humiliation were designed, I doubt; because at the end of the sermon, he had wrote-
'Bravo!'
- though it is two inches, at least, below the last line of the sermon, at that extreme right hand corner of the page, which, you know, is generally covered with your thumb; and it is wrote so faintly as scarcely to draw the eye towards it, whether your thumb is there or not. Being wrote moreover with very pale ink, diluted almost to nothing, 'tis more like the shadow of vanity, than Vanity herself - resembling rather a faint thought of applause, secretly stirring up in the heart of the composer, than a gross, obtrusive mark of it.
Nonetheless, I am aware that in publishing this, I do no service to Yorick's character as a modest man; but all men have their failings! and what wipes this one almost away, is that the word was struck through sometime afterwards in a different tint - as if he was ashamed of the opinion he once held of it.
Book 6 - Chapter 11