Amongst the many ill consequences of the treaty of _Utrecht_, it was within a point of giving my uncle _Toby_ a surfeit of sieges; and though he recovered his appetite afterwards, yet _Calais_ itself left not a deeper scar in _Mary's_ heart, than _Utrecht_ upon my uncle _Toby's_. To the end of his life he never could hear _Utrecht_ mentioned upon any account whatever, --or so much as read an article of news extracted out of the _Utrecht Gazette_, without fetching a sigh, as if his heart would break in twain.
My father, who was a great MOTIVE-MONGER, and consequently a very dangerous person for a man to sit by, either laughing or crying, --for he generally knew your motive for doing both, much better than you knew it yourself--would always console my uncle _Toby_ upon these occasions, in a way, which shewed plainly, he imagined my uncle _Toby_ grieved for nothing in the whole affair, so much as the loss of his _hobby-horse_. ----Never mind, brother _Toby_, he would say, --by God's blessing we shall have another war break out again some of these days; and when it does, --the belligerent powers, if they would hang themselves, cannot keep us out of play. ----I defy 'em, my dear _Toby_, he would add, to take countries without taking towns, ----or towns without sieges.
My uncle _Toby_ never took this back-stroke of my father's at his hobby-horse kindly. ----He thought the stroke ungenerous; and the more so, because in striking the horse he hit the rider too, and in the most dishonourable part a blow could fall; so that upon these occasions, he always laid down his pipe upon the table with more fire to defend himself than common.
I told the reader, this time two years, that my uncle _Toby_ was not eloquent; and in the very same page gave an instance to the contrary: ----I repeat the observation, and a fact which contradicts it again. --He was not eloquent, --it was not easy to my uncle _Toby_ to make long harangues, --and he hated florid ones; but there were occasions where the stream overflowed the man, and ran so counter to its usual course, that in some parts my uncle _Toby_, for a time, was at least equal to _Tertullus_----but in others, in my own opinion, infinitely above him.
My father was so highly pleased with one of these apologetical orations of my uncle _Toby's_, which he had delivered one evening before him and _Yorick_, that he wrote it down before he went to bed.
I have had the good fortune to meet with it amongst my father's papers, with here and there an insertion of his own, betwixt two crooks, thus [ ], and is endorsed,
MY BROTHER TOBY'S JUSTIFICATION OF HIS OWN PRINCIPLES AND CONDUCT IN WISHING TO CONTINUE THE WAR
I may safely say, I have read over this apologetical oration of my uncle _Toby's_ a hundred times, and think it so fine a model of defence, --and shows so sweet a temperament of gallantry and good principles in him, that I give it the world, word for word (interlineations and all), as I find it.
Amongst the many ill consequences of the treaty of Utrecht, it almost gave my uncle Toby a surfeit of sieges; and though he recovered his appetite afterwards, it left its scar upon his heart. To the end of his life he never could hear Utrecht mentioned, or even read an article of news from the Utrecht Gazette, without sighing as if his heart would break.
My father, who was a great Motive-monger, and generally knew your motive for laughing or crying much better than you knew it yourself - would always console my uncle Toby upon these occasions as if he imagined my uncle Toby grieved for nothing so much as the loss of his hobby-horse.
'Never mind, brother Toby,' he would say; 'by God's blessing we shall have another war break out again one of these days. - For I defy 'em, my dear Toby, to take countries without taking towns, or towns without sieges.'
My uncle Toby did not take this kindly. He thought the stroke at his hobby-horse ungenerous, because in striking the horse he hit the rider too, and in the most dishonourable part possible; so upon these occasions, he always laid down his pipe upon the table to defend himself with more fire than usual.
I told the reader that my uncle Toby was not eloquent. Certainly it was not easy for him to make long harangues, and he hated florid speeches; but there were times where the stream overflowed the man, and ran so counter to its usual course, that my uncle Toby, for a time, was equal to Tertullus.
My father was so highly pleased with one of these speeches of my uncle Toby's, which he delivered one evening to him and Yorick, that he wrote it down before he went to bed.
I have had the good fortune to find it amongst my father's papers, with here and there an insertion of his own, betwixt two crooks, thus [ ].
It is labelled,
MY BROTHER TOBY'S JUSTIFICATION OF HIS OWN PRINCIPLES AND CONDUCT IN WISHING TO CONTINUE THE WAR
I may safely say, I have read this oration of my uncle Toby's a hundred times, and think it so fine a model of defence - it shows so sweet and gallant a temperament, that I give it to the world, word for word as I find it.
Book 6 - Chapter 31