If anything in this world, which my father said, could have provoked my uncle _Toby_, during the time he was in love, it was the perverse use my father was always making of an expression of _Hilarion_ the hermit; who, in speaking of his abstinence, his watchings, flagellations, and other instrumental parts of his religion--would say--tho' with more facetiousness than became an hermit-- "That they were the means he used, to make his _ass_ (meaning his body) leave off kicking."
It pleased my father well; it was not only a laconick way of expressing----but of libelling, at the same time, the desires and appetites of the lower part of us; so that for many years of my father's life, 'twas his constant mode of expression--he never used the word _passions_ once--but _ass_ always instead of them ----So that he might be said truly, to have been upon the bones, or the back of his own ass, or else of some other man's, during all that time.
I must here observe to you the difference betwixt
My father's ass and my hobby-horse--in order to keep characters as separate as may be, in our fancies as we go along.
For my hobby-horse, if you recollect a little, is no way a vicious beast; he has scarce one hair or lineament of the ass about him----'Tis the sporting little filly-folly which carries you out for the present hour--a maggot, a butterfly, a picture, a fiddlestick--an uncle _Toby's_ siege--or an _anything_, which a man makes a shift to get a-stride on, to canter it away from the cares and solicitudes of life--'Tis as useful a beast as is in the whole creation--nor do I really see how the world would do without it----
----But for my father's ass------oh! mount him--mount him--mount him--(that's three times, is it not?)--mount him not: --'tis a beast concupiscent--and foul befal the man, who does not hinder him from kicking.
If anything which my father said could have provoked my uncle Toby while he was in love, it was the perverse use my father was always making of an expression of Hilarion the hermit; who, in speaking of his abstinence, his flagellations, and other parts of his religion, would say - though with more facetiousness than became a hermit - 'That they were the means he used, to make his ass (meaning his body) leave off kicking.'
It pleased my father well; it was a laconic way of expressing and libelling, at the same time, the desires and appetites of the lower part of us; so that for many years of my father's life, he never used the word passions - but always ass instead.
I must here observe to you the difference betwixt
My father's ass
and my hobby-horse.
For my hobby-horse, if you recollect, is in no way a vicious beast; he has scarce one hair of the ass about him. - 'Tis the little filly-folly which carries you out for the present hour - a butterfly, a picture, a fiddlestick - uncle Toby's siege - or anything, which a man can get astride on, to canter away from the cares of life. 'Tis as useful a beast as exists in the whole of creation.
But as for my father's ass - oh! mount him not: 'tis a lustful beast - and foul befall the man who does not stop him from kicking.
Book 8 - Chapter 31