As the ancients agree, brother _Toby_, said my father, that there are two different and distinct kinds of _love_, according to the different parts which are affected by it--the Brain or Liver ----I think when a man is in love, it behoves him a little to consider which of the two he is fallen into.
What signifies it, brother _Shandy_, replied my uncle _Toby_, which of the two it is, provided it will but make a man marry, and love his wife, and get a few children?
----A few children! cried my father, rising out of his chair, and looking full in my mother's face, as he forced his way betwixt her's and doctor _Slop's_--a few children! cried my father, repeating my uncle _Toby's_ words as he walk'd to and fro----
----Not, my dear brother _Toby_, cried my father, recovering himself all at once, and coming close up to the back of my uncle _Toby's_ chair--not that I should be sorry hadst thou a score--on the contrary, I should rejoice--and be as kind, _Toby_, to every one of them as a father--
My uncle _Toby_ stole his hand unperceived behind his chair, to give my father's a squeeze----
----Nay, moreover, continued he, keeping hold of my uncle _Toby's_ hand--so much dost thou possess, my dear _Toby_, of the milk of human nature, and so little of its asperities--'tis piteous the world is not peopled by creatures which resemble thee; and was I an _Asiatic_ monarch, added my father, heating himself with his new project --I would oblige thee, provided it would not impair thy strength--or dry up thy radical moisture too fast--or weaken thy memory or fancy, brother _Toby_, which these gymnics inordinately taken are apt to do--else, dear _Toby_, I would procure thee the most beautiful women in my empire, and I would oblige thee, _nolens, volens_, to beget for me one subject every _month_----
As my father pronounced the last word of the sentence--my mother took a pinch of snuff.
Now I would not, quoth my uncle _Toby_, get a child, _nolens, volens_, that is, whether I would or no, to please the greatest prince upon earth----

'As the ancients agree, brother Toby,' said my father, 'that there are two distinct kinds of love, according to the different parts which are affected by it - the Brain or Liver - when a man is in love, he needs to consider which of the two he is fallen into.'
'What does it matter which it is,' replied my uncle Toby, 'provided it will make a man marry, and love his wife, and get a few children?'
'A few children!' cried my father, rising out of his chair, and looking full in my mother's face. 'A few children!' he repeated as he walked to and fro.
'Not, my dear brother Toby,' he cried, recovering himself, 'not that I should be sorry if thou hadst - on the contrary, I should rejoice - and be as kind to every one of them as a father-'
My uncle Toby stole his hand into my father's to give it a squeeze.
'Nay, moreover,' continued he, 'so full art thou, my dear Toby, of the milk of human nature, 'tis a pity the world is not peopled by creatures like thee; and was I an Asiatic monarch, I would oblige thee, provided it would not impair thy strength - or weaken thy mind, brother Toby, which these gymnics are apt to do - otherwise, dear Toby, I would procure thee the most beautiful women in my empire, and I would oblige thee, willy nilly, to beget one subject every month.'
'Now I would not,' quoth my uncle Toby, 'get a child, willy nilly, that is, whether I wished or no, to please the greatest prince upon earth.'
