In the fore-ground of this picture, a _statesman_ turning the political wheel, like a brute, the wrong way round----_against_ the stream of corruption--by Heaven! ----instead of _with_ it.
In this corner, a son of the divine _Esculapius_, writing a book against predestination; perhaps worse--feeling his patient's pulse, instead of his apothecary's----a brother of the Faculty in the back-ground upon his knees in tears--drawing the curtains of a mangled victim to beg his forgiveness; --offering a fee--instead of taking one.
In that spacious HALL, a coalition of the gown, from all the bars of it, driving a damn'd, dirty, vexatious cause before them, with all their might and main, the wrong way! ----kicking it _out_ of the great doors, instead of _in_----and with such fury in their looks, and such a degree of inveteracy in their manner of kicking it, as if the laws had been originally made for the peace and preservation of mankind: ----perhaps a more enormous mistake committed by them still------a litigated point fairly hung up; ------for instance, Whether _John o'Nokes_ his nose could stand in _Tom o'Stiles_ his face, without a trespass, or not--rashly determined by them in five-and-twenty minutes, which, with the cautious pros and cons required in so intricate a proceeding, might have taken up as many months----and if carried on upon a military plan, as your honours know an ACTION should be, with all the stratagems practicable therein, ------such as feints, ----forced marches, ----surprizes----ambuscades----mask-batteries, and a thousand other strokes of generalship, which consist in catching at all advantages on both sides------might reasonably have lasted them as many years, finding food and raiment all that term for a centumvirate of the profession.
As for the Clergy ------No----if I say a word against them, I'll be shot. ----I have no desire; --and besides, if I had --I durst not for my soul touch upon the subject----with such weak nerves and spirits, and in the condition I am in at present, 'twould be as much as my life was worth, to deject and contrist myself with so bad and melancholy an account--and therefore 'tis safer to draw a curtain across, and hasten from it, as fast as I can, to the main and principal point I have undertaken to clear up----and that is, How it comes to pass, that your men of least _wit_ are reported to be men of most judgment. ----But mark --I say, _reported to be_--for it is no more, my dear Sirs, than a report, and which, like twenty others taken up every day upon trust, I maintain to be a vile and a malicious report into the bargain.
This by the help of the observation already premised, and I hope already weighed and perpended by your reverences and worships, I shall forthwith make appear.

Here is a statesman turning the political wheel the wrong way, against the stream of corruption - by Heaven! - instead of with it.
Over there is a surgeon feeling his patient's pulse, instead of his apothecary's - or upon his knees in tears, begging the forgiveness of a mangled victim, - offering a fee instead of taking one.
In that spacious Hall, a coalition of lawyers, driving a damned, dirty, vexatious cause before them, the wrong way! kicking it out of the great doors, instead of in, almost as if the laws had been made for the peace of mankind; and moreover, settling a paltry dispute in five-and-twenty minutes, which might have taken up as many months - or have even lasted years, providing food all that time for a hundred lawyers.
As for the Clergy - No, if I say a word against them, I'll be shot. I dare not for my soul touch upon the subject. In the nervous condition I am in, 'tis safer to draw a curtain across the melancholy account, and hasten from it, as fast as I can, to my main point - and that is, how it happens that your men of least wit are reported to be men of most judgment. But mark - I say, reported; for it is no more than a report, and a vile and a malicious one into the bargain.
This I shall forthwith make appear.
