When _Guy_, Earl of _Warwick_, and _Parismus_ and _Parismenus_, and _Valentine_ and _Orson_, and the _Seven Champions of England_, were handed around the school, --were they not all purchased with my own pocket-money? Was that selfish, brother _Shandy?_ When we read over the siege of _Troy_, which lasted ten years and eight months, ----though with such a train of artillery as we had at _Namur_, the town might have been carried in a week--was I not as much concerned for the destruction of the _Greeks_ and _Trojans_ as any boy of the whole school? Had I not three strokes of a ferula given me, two on my right hand, and one on my left, for calling _Helena_ a bitch for it? Did any one of you shed more tears for _Hector?_ And when king _Priam_ came to the camp to beg his body, and returned weeping back to _Troy_ without it, --you know, brother, I could not eat my dinner.------
----Did that bespeak me cruel? Or because, brother _Shandy_, my blood flew out into the camp, and my heart panted for war, --was it a proof it could not ache for the distresses of war too?
O brother! 'tis one thing for a soldier to gather laurels, --and 'tis another to scatter cypress. ----[_Who told thee, my dear _Toby_, that cypress was used by the antients on mournful occasions?_]
----'Tis one thing, brother _Shandy_, for a soldier to hazard his own life--to leap first down into the trench, where he is sure to be cut in pieces: ----'Tis one thing, from public spirit and a thirst of glory, to enter the breach the first man, --To stand in the foremost rank, and march bravely on with drums and trumpets, and colours flying about his ears: ----'Tis one thing, I say, brother _Shandy_, to do this, --and 'tis another thing to reflect on the miseries of war; --to view the desolations of whole countries, and consider the intolerable fatigues and hardships which the soldier himself, the instrument who works them, is forced (for sixpence a day, if he can get it) to undergo.

When Guy, Earl of Warwick, and the Seven Champions of England, were handed around the school, were they not all purchased with my own pocket-money? Was that selfish, brother Shandy? When we read over the siege of Troy, was I not as much concerned for the destruction of the Greeks and Trojans as any boy in the school? Was I not given three strokes of a ferula for calling Helen a bitch for it? Did any one of you shed more tears for Hector? And when king Priam came to the camp to beg his body, and returned weeping back to Troy without it - you know, brother, I could not eat my dinner.
Did that show me to be cruel? Or because, brother Shandy, my heart panted for war, did that prove it could not ache for the distresses of war too?
O brother! 'tis one thing for a soldier to gather laurels, and 'tis another to scatter cypress. [Who told thee, my dear Toby, that cypress was used by the ancients on mournful occasions?]
'Tis one thing, brother Shandy, for a soldier to hazard his own life - to leap first into the trench, where he is sure to be cut in pieces: 'tis one thing, from a thirst of glory, to enter the breach first, and march bravely on with drums and trumpets: - and 'tis another thing to reflect on the miseries of war; to view the desolations of whole countries, and consider the hardships which the soldier himself is forced (for sixpence a day, if he can get it) to undergo.
