For herself, being of a different temperament, she could not sleep. The commonplace excitement of the tea-drinking and school-gathering would alone have sufficed to make her restless all night; the effect of the terrible drama which had just been enacted before her eyes was not likely to quit her for days. It was vain even to try to retain a recumbent posture; she sat up by Shirley's side, counting the slow minutes, and watching the June sun mount the heavens.
Life wastes fast in such vigils as Caroline had of late but too often kept--vigils during which the mind, having no pleasant food to nourish it, no manna of hope, no hived-honey of joyous memories, tries to live on the meagre diet of wishes, and failing to derive thence either delight or support, and feeling itself ready to perish with craving want, turns to philosophy, to resolution, to resignation; calls on all these gods for aid, calls vainly--is unheard, unhelped, and languishes.
Caroline was a Christian; therefore in trouble she framed many a prayer after the Christian creed, preferred it with deep earnestness, begged for patience, strength, relief. This world, however, we all know, is the scene of trial and probation; and, for any favourable result her petitions had yet wrought, it seemed to her that they were unheard and unaccepted. She believed, sometimes, that God had turned His face from her. At moments she was a Calvinist, and, sinking into the gulf of religious despair, she saw darkening over her the doom of reprobation.

For herself, she could not sleep. The commonplace excitement of the school-gathering would alone have sufficed to make her restless; the effect of the terrible drama she had seen was not likely to quit her for days. It was vain even to lie down; she sat up by Shirley's side, watching the sun mount the heavens.
Life wastes fast in such vigils as Caroline had lately too often kept - vigils during which the mind, with no hope or joyous memories to feed on, tries to live on the meagre diet of wishes; and feeling itself ready to perish with craving, turns to philosophy, to resolution, to resignation; calls on all these for aid, calls vainly - is unheard, and unhelped.
Caroline was a Christian; therefore in trouble she prayed often, begging for patience, strength, relief. However, it seemed that her prayers were unheard and unaccepted. She believed, sometimes, that God had turned His face from her.
