My father had such a skirmishing, cutting kind of a slashing way with him, in his disputations, thrusting and ripping, and giving every one a stroke to remember him by in his turn--that if there were twenty people in company--in less than half an hour he was sure to have every one of 'em against him.
What did not a little contribute to leave him thus without an ally, was, that if there was any one post more untenable than the rest, he would be sure to throw himself into it; and to do him justice, when he was once there, he would defend it so gallantly, that 'twould have been a concern, either to a brave man or a good-natured one, to have seen him driven out.
_Yorick_, for this reason, though he would often attack him--yet could never bear to do it with all his force.
Doctor _Slop's_ VIRGINITY, in the close of the last chapter, had got him for once on the right side of the rampart; and he was beginning to blow up all the convents in _Christendom_ about _Slop's_ ears, when corporal _Trim_ came into the parlour to inform my uncle _Toby_, that his thin scarlet breeches, in which the attack was to be made upon Mrs. _Wadman_, would not do; for that the taylor, in ripping them up, in order to turn them, had found they had been turn'd before ----Then turn them again, brother, said my father, rapidly, for there will be many a turning of 'em yet before all's done in the affair ----They are as rotten as dirt, said the corporal ----Then by all means, said my father, bespeak a new pair, brother----for though I know, continued my father, turning himself to the company, that widow _Wadman_ has been deeply in love with my brother _Toby_ for many years, and has used every art and circumvention of woman to outwit him into the same passion, yet now that she has caught him----her fever will be pass'd its height----
----She has gain'd her point.
In this case, continued my father, which _Plato_, I am persuaded, never thought of ----Love, you see, is not so much a SENTIMENT as a SITUATION, into which a man enters, as my brother _Toby_ would do, into a _corps_----no matter whether he loves the service or no----being once in it--he acts as if he did; and takes every step to shew himself a man of prowesse.
The hypothesis, like the rest of my father's, was plausible enough, and my uncle _Toby_ had but a single word to object to it--in which _Trim_ stood ready to second him----but my father had not drawn his conclusion----
For this reason, continued my father (stating the case over again)--notwithstanding all the world knows, that Mrs. _Wadman_ _affects_ my brother _Toby_--and my brother _Toby_ contrariwise _affects_ Mrs. _Wadman_, and no obstacle in nature to forbid the music striking up this very night, yet will I answer for it, that this self-same tune will not be play'd this twelvemonth.
We have taken our measures badly, quoth my uncle _Toby_, looking up interrogatively in _Trim's_ face.
I would lay my _Montero_-cap, said _Trim_ ----Now _Trim's_ _Montero_-cap, as I once told you, was his constant wager; and having furbish'd it up that very night, in order to go upon the attack--it made the odds look more considerable ----I would lay, an' please your honour, my _Montero_-cap to a shilling--was it proper, continued _Trim_ (making a bow), to offer a wager before your honours----

My father had such a skirmishing, slashing way with him, in his arguments - thrusting and ripping, and giving everyone a stroke to remember him by - that if there were twenty people in company, in less than half an hour he was sure to have every one of 'em against him.
Moreover, if there was any position more untenable than the rest, he would be sure to throw himself into it; and once there, he would defend it so gallantly, that 'twould have been difficult for a brave man to drive him out.
Yorick, for this reason, though he would often attack him, could never bear to do it with all his force.
Doctor Slop's Virginity, in the close of the last chapter, had got him on the right side of the rampart; and he was beginning to blow up all the convents in Christendom about Slop's ears, when corporal Trim came into the parlour to inform my uncle Toby that his thin scarlet breeches, in which the attack was to be made upon Mrs. Wadman, would not do; for the tailor, about to turn them, had found they had been turned before.
'Then turn them again, brother,' said my father, 'for there will be many a turning of 'em yet before all's done.'
'They are as rotten as dirt,' said the corporal.
'Then order a new pair,' said my father; 'for though I know,' he continued, turning to the company, 'that widow Wadman has been deeply in love with my brother Toby for many years, and has used every art of woman to outwit him into the same passion - yet now that she has caught him, her fever will be past its height - she has gained her point.
'In this case,' he continued, 'Love is not so much a Sentiment as a Situation, into which a man enters as my brother Toby would enter a battalion. No matter whether he loves the service or no, once in it, he acts as if he did; and takes every step to show himself a man of prowess.'
The hypothesis was plausible enough, and my uncle Toby had only one objection to it - but my father had not finished.
'For this reason,' he continued, 'although all the world knows that Mrs. Wadman loves my brother Toby, and my brother Toby loves Mrs. Wadman, and no obstacle can forbid the music striking up this very night, yet I will answer for it that the same tune will not be played in a year.'
'We have taken our measures badly,' quoth my uncle Toby to Trim.
'I would lay my Montero-cap,' said Trim - now Trim's Montero-cap, as I once told you, was his constant wager; and having furbished it up for the attack, it made the odds look better - 'I would lay my Montero-cap to a shilling - if it was proper to offer a wager before your honours-'
