For all these reasons, private and publick, put together, --my father was for having the man-midwife by all means, --my mother by no means. My father begg'd and intreated she would for once recede from her prerogative in this matter, and suffer him to choose for her; --my mother, on the contrary, insisted upon her privilege in this matter, to choose for herself, --and have no mortal's help but the old woman's. --What could my father do? He was almost at his wit's end; ----talked it over with her in all moods; --placed his arguments in all lights; --argued the matter with her like a christian, --like a heathen, --like a husband, --like a father, --like a patriot, --like a man: --My mother answered everything only like a woman; which was a little hard upon her; --for as she could not assume and fight it out behind such a variety of characters, --'twas no fair match: --'twas seven to one. --What could my mother do? ----She had the advantage (otherwise she had been certainly overpowered) of a small reinforcement of chagrin personal at the bottom, which bore her up, and enabled her to dispute the affair with my father with so equal an advantage, ----that both sides sung _Te Deum_. In a word, my mother was to have the old woman, --and the operator was to have licence to drink a bottle of wine with my father and my uncle _Toby Shandy_ in the back parlour, --for which he was to be paid five guineas.

For all these reasons, my father was for having the man-midwife by all means, - my mother by no means. My father begged she would for once give up her prerogative in this matter, and let him choose for her; - my mother, on the contrary, insisted upon her privilege to choose for herself, and have no help but the old woman's.
What could my father do? He was almost at his wit's end; talked it over with her in all moods; argued the matter with her like a Christian, - like a heathen, - like a husband, - like a father, - like a patriot, - like a man. My mother answered everything only like a woman; which was a little hard upon her; for as she could not fight it out behind such a variety of characters, 'twas no fair match: - 'twas seven to one.
What could my mother do? She had the advantage of a small reinforcement of personal chagrin, which bore her up, and enabled her to dispute the affair with my father on equal terms. In a word, my mother was to have the old woman, and the man-midwife was to have licence to drink a bottle of wine with my father and my uncle Toby in the back parlour, - for which he was to be paid five guineas.
