Though my father was hugely tickled with the subtleties of these learned discourses------'twas still but like the anointing of a broken bone ------The moment he got home, the weight of his afflictions returned upon him but so much the heavier, as is ever the case when the staff we lean on slips from under us. --He became pensive--walked frequently forth to the fish-pond--let down one loop of his hat----sigh'd often----forbore to snap--and, as the hasty sparks of temper, which occasion snapping, so much assist perspiration and digestion, as _Hippocrates_ tells us--he had certainly fallen ill with the extinction of them, had not his thoughts been critically drawn off, and his health rescued by a fresh train of disquietudes left him, with a legacy of a thousand pounds, by my aunt _Dinah_.
My father had scarce read the letter, when taking the thing by the right end, he instantly began to plague and puzzle his head how to lay it out mostly to the honour of his family. --A hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of his brains by turns--he would do this, and that, and t'other --He would go to _Rome_----he would go to law----he would buy stock----he would buy _John Hobson's_ farm--he would new fore-front his house, and add a new wing to make it even ----There was a fine water-mill on this side, and he would build a wind-mill on the other side of the river in full view to answer it --But above all things in the world, he would inclose the great _Ox-moor_, and send out my brother _Bobby_ immediately upon his travels.
But as the sum was _finite_, and consequently could not do everything----and in truth very few of these to any purpose--of all the projects which offered themselves upon this occasion, the two last seemed to make the deepest impression; and he would infallibly have determined upon both at once, but for the small inconvenience hinted at above, which absolutely put him under a necessity of deciding in favour either of the one or the other.
This was not altogether so easy to be done; for though 'tis certain my father had long before set his heart upon this necessary part of my brother's education, and like a prudent man had actually determined to carry it into execution, with the first money that returned from the second creation of actions in the _Missisippi_-scheme, in which he was an adventurer----yet the _Ox-moor_, which was a fine, large, whinny, undrained, unimproved common, belonging to the _Shandy_-estate, had almost as old a claim upon him: he had long and affectionately set his heart upon turning it likewise to some account.
But having never hitherto been pressed with such a conjuncture of things, as made it necessary to settle either the priority or justice of their claims----like a wise man he had refrained entering into any nice or critical examination about them: so that upon the dismission of every other project at this crisis------the two old projects, the OX-MOOR and my BROTHER, divided him again; and so equal a match were they for each other, as to become the occasion of no small contest in the old gentleman's mind--which of the two should be set o'going first.
----People may laugh as they will--but the case was this.
It had ever been the custom of the family, and by length of time was almost become a matter of common right, that the eldest son of it should have free ingress, egress, and regress into foreign parts before marriage--not only for the sake of bettering his own private parts, by the benefit of exercise and change of so much air--but simply for the mere delectation of his fancy, by the feather put into his cap, of having been abroad--_tantum valet_, my father would say, _quantum sonat_.
Now as this was a reasonable, and in course a most christian indulgence----to deprive him of it, without why or wherefore----and thereby make an example of him, as the first _Shandy_ unwhirl'd about _Europe_ in a post-chaise, and only because he was a heavy lad----would be using him ten times worse than a Turk.

Though my father was hugely tickled with the subtleties of this learned discourse - 'twas still like putting ointment on a broken bone.
When he got home, his afflictions weighed upon him so much the heavier. He became pensive - walked frequently to the fish-pond - sighed often - and would have certainly fallen ill, had not his thoughts been distracted by a fresh train of worries left him, with a legacy of a thousand pounds, by my aunt Dinah.
My father had scarce read the letter, when he instantly began to puzzle his head how to use the money to the honour of his family. A hundred-and-fifty odd projects took possession of him by turns - he would go to Rome - he would go to law - he would buy stock - he would buy John Hobson's farm - he would build a new front to his house, and add a new wing to make it even. - There was a fine water-mill on this side, and he would build a wind-mill on the other side of the river in full view to answer it.
- But above all things in the world, he would enclose the great Ox-moor, and send out my brother Bobby immediately upon his travels.
As the sum was finite, and could not do everything, of all these projects, the two last made the deepest impression; and he would have done both, could he have afforded it: but he needed to decide in favour of either one or the other.
This was not so easy; for though my father had long before set his heart upon this necessary part of my brother's education, and had determined to carry it out with the first money that returned from his investments in the Mississippi-scheme - yet the Ox-moor, which was a fine, large, gorse-covered, undrained common, belonging to the Shandy-estate, had almost as old a claim upon him: he had long wished to turn it to some account.
Having never had to decide between the two before, he now found that it was so equal a match between the Ox-moor and my Brother, as to cause no small contest in the old gentleman's mind.
People may laugh - but the case was this.
It had always been the family's custom that the eldest son should be free to travel into foreign parts before marriage - not only to benefit bodily from the exercise and change of air - but also for the delectation of his fancy, by the feather put into his cap of having been abroad.
Now as this was a reasonable indulgence - to deprive him of it, without why or wherefore - and thereby make him the first Shandy unwhirled about Europe in a post-chaise - would be using him ten times worse than a Turk.
