What could be wanting in my father but to have wrote a book to publish this notion of his to the world? Little boots it to the subtle speculatist to stand single in his opinions, --unless he gives them proper vent: --It was the identical thing which my father did: --for in the year sixteen, which was two years before I was born, he was at the pains of writing an express DISSERTATION simply upon the word _Tristram_, --shewing the world, with great candour and modesty, the grounds of his great abhorrence to the name.
When this story is compared with the title-page, --Will not the gentle reader pity my father from his soul? --to see an orderly and well-disposed gentleman, who tho' singular, --yet inoffensive in his notions, --so played upon in them by cross purposes; ----to look down upon the stage, and see him baffled and overthrown in all his little systems and wishes; to behold a train of events perpetually falling out against him, and in so critical and cruel a way, as if they had purposedly been plann'd and pointed against him, merely to insult his speculations. ----In a word, to behold such a one, in his old age, ill-fitted for troubles, ten times in a day suffering sorrow; --ten times in a day calling the child of his prayers TRISTRAM! --Melancholy dissyllable of sound! which, to his ears, was unison to _Nincompoop_, and every name vituperative under heaven. ----By his ashes! I swear it, --if ever malignant spirit took pleasure, or busied itself in traversing the purposes of mortal man, --it must have been here; --and if it was not necessary I should be born before I was christened, I would this moment give the reader an account of it.
What else could my father do other than write a book to publish this notion to the world? There is little point in having opinions without giving them proper vent. So in 1716, two years before I was born, my father wrote a Dissertation upon the word Tristram, showing the world, with great candour, the grounds of his abhorrence to the name.
When this story is compared with the title-page, will not the gentle reader pity my father from his soul? - to see an orderly and well-disposed gentleman, who though singular, was yet inoffensive in his notions; to see him baffled and overthrown in his wishes; to behold events falling out against him in so cruel a way, as if they had been planned merely to insult him. - In a word, to behold him, in his old age, ten times in a day suffering sorrow as he called the child of his prayers Tristram! Melancholy sound! which, to his ears, was equivalent to Nincompoop.
I swear, if ever malignant spirit took pleasure in crossing the purposes of mortal man, it must have been here; and if it was not necessary that I should be born before I was christened, I would this moment give the reader an account of it.