There was one plaguy rub in the way of this----the scarcity of materials to make anything of a defence with, in case of a smart attack; inasmuch as few men of great genius had exercised their parts in writing books upon the subject of great noses: by the trotting of my lean horse, the thing is incredible! and I am quite lost in my understanding, when I am considering what a treasure of precious time and talents together has been wasted upon worse subjects--and how many millions of books in all languages, and in all possible types and bindings, have been fabricated upon points not half so much tending to the unity and peace-making of the world. What was to be had, however, he set the greater store by; and though my father would oft-times sport with my uncle _Toby's_ library--which, by the bye, was ridiculous enough--yet at the very same time he did it, he collected every book and treatise which had been systematically wrote upon noses, with as much care as my honest uncle _Toby_ had done those upon military architecture. ----'Tis true, a much less table would have held them--but that was not thy transgression, my dear uncle.--
Here----but why here----rather than in any other part of my story ----I am not able to tell: ------but here it is------my heart stops me to pay to thee, my dear uncle _Toby_, once for all, the tribute I owe thy goodness. ----Here let me thrust my chair aside, and kneel down upon the ground, whilst I am pouring forth the warmest sentiment of love for thee, and veneration for the excellency of thy character, that ever virtue and nature kindled in a nephew's bosom. ----Peace and comfort rest for evermore upon thy head! --Thou enviedst no man's comforts----insultedst no man's opinions ----Thou blackenedst no man's character--devouredst no man's bread: gently, with faithful _Trim_ behind thee, didst thou amble round the little circle of thy pleasures, jostling no creature in thy way: --for each one's sorrow thou hadst a tear, --for each man's need, thou hadst a shilling.
Whilst I am worth one, to pay a weeder--thy path from thy door to thy bowling-green shall never be grown up. ----Whilst there is a rood and a half of land in the _Shandy_ family, thy fortifications, my dear uncle _Toby_, shall never be demolish'd.
There was one plaguy rub - the scarcity of materials to defend himself against attack, since few men of genius had written on the subject of great noses. By the trotting of my lean horse, it is incredible! I am quite at a loss, when I consider how much precious time has been wasted upon worse subjects - how many millions of books in all languages have been fabricated upon points not half so important.
What books he could find, however, my father set great store by; and though he would often mock my uncle Toby's library, yet at the same time he collected every book which had been wrote upon noses with as much care as my honest uncle collected those on military architecture.
Here - why here, rather than in any other part of my story, I cannot tell: but here it is: my heart stops me to pay to thee, my dear uncle Toby, the tribute I owe thy goodness. Here let me kneel and pour forth the warmest love for thee, and veneration for thy excellency, that ever virtue kindled in a nephew's bosom.
- Peace and comfort rest for evermore upon thy head! - Thou didst envy no man's comforts - insulted no man's opinions - blackened no man's character - devoured no man's bread. Gently, with faithful Trim behind thee, didst thou amble round the little circle of thy pleasures, jostling no creature in thy way. For each one's sorrow thou hadst a tear; for each man's need, thou hadst a shilling.
Whilst I can afford to pay a weeder, the path from thy door to thy bowling-green shall never be over-grown. Whilst there is an acre of land in the Shandy family, thy fortifications, my dear uncle Toby, shall never be demolished.