And, secondly, that besides the systems of _Prignitz_ and _Scroderus_, which _Ambrose Parus_ his hypothesis effectually overthrew--it overthrew at the same time the system of peace and harmony of our family; and for three days together, not only embroiled matters between my father and my mother, but turn'd likewise the whole house and everything in it, except my uncle _Toby_, quite upside down.
Such a ridiculous tale of a dispute between a man and his wife, never surely in any age or country got vent through the key-hole of a street-door.
My mother, you must know------but I have fifty things more necessary to let you know first ----I have a hundred difficulties which I have promised to clear up, and a thousand distresses and domestick misadventures crowding in upon me thick and threefold, one upon the neck of another. A cow broke in (to-morrow morning) to my uncle _Toby's_ fortifications, and eat up two rations and a half of dried grass, tearing up the sods with it, which faced his horn-work and covered way. ----_Trim_ insists upon being tried by a court-martial--the cow to be shot--_Slop_ to be _crucifix'd_--myself to be _tristram'd_ and at my very baptism made a martyr of; ----poor unhappy devils that we all are! ----I want swaddling------but there is no time to be lost in exclamations ------I have left my father lying across his bed, and my uncle _Toby_ in his old fringed chair, sitting beside him, and promised I would go back to them in half an hour; and five-and-thirty minutes are laps'd already. ------Of all the perplexities a mortal author was ever seen in----this certainly is the greatest, for I have _Hafen Slawkenbergius's_ folio, Sir, to finish----a dialogue between my father and my uncle _Toby_, upon the solution of _Prignitz_, _Scroderus_, _Ambrose Parus_, _Ponocrates_, and _Grangousier_ to relate--a tale out of _Slawkenbergius_ to translate, and all this in five minutes less than no time at all; ------such a head! --would to Heaven my enemies only saw the inside of it!
And, secondly, that his hypothesis overthrew not only the systems of Prignitz and Scroderus - but also the peace and harmony of our family. For three days, it not only embroiled matters between my father and my mother, but turned the whole house and everything in it, except my uncle Toby, quite upside down.
Such a ridiculous dispute between a man and his wife surely never occurred. My mother, you must know-
- but I have fifty things more necessary to let you know first - I have a hundred difficulties to clear up, and a thousand domestic misadventures crowding in upon me thick and fast. A cow broke in (tomorrow morning) to my uncle Toby's fortifications, and ate the grass which faced his hornwork and covered way. - Trim insists upon a court-martial - the cow to be shot - Slop to be crucifixed - myself to be tristram'd and made a martyr of; - poor unhappy devils that we all are! - I need swaddling - but there is not time to waste - I have left my father lying across his bed, and my uncle Toby sitting in his old chair beside him, and promised I would go back to them in half an hour; and five-and-thirty minutes are lapsed already.
Of all the perplexities an author was ever in, this certainly is the greatest, for I have Slawkenbergius's folio, Sir, to finish - a dialogue between my father and my uncle Toby, upon the solution of Prignitz, Scroderus and others to relate - a tale out of Slawkenbergius to translate, and all this in five minutes less than no time at all. Such a head! would to Heaven my enemies only saw the inside of it!