You will imagine, Madam, that my uncle _Toby_ had contracted all this from this very source; --that he had spent a great part of his time in converse with your sex; and that from a thorough knowledge of you, and the force of imitation which such fair examples render irresistible, he had acquired this amiable turn of mind.
I wish I could say so, --for unless it was with his sister-in-law, my father's wife and my mother----my uncle _Toby_ scarce exchanged three words with the sex in as many years; --no, he got it, Madam, by a blow. ----A blow! --Yes, Madam, it was owing to a blow from a stone, broke off by a ball from the parapet of a horn-work at the siege of _Namur_, which struck full upon my uncle _Toby's_ groin. --Which way could that effect it? The story of that, Madam, is long and interesting; --but it would be running my history all upon heaps to give it you here. ----'Tis for an episode hereafter; and every circumstance relating to it, in its proper place, shall be faithfully laid before you: --'Till then, it is not in my power to give farther light into this matter, or say more than what I have said already, ----That my uncle _Toby_ was a gentleman of unparallel'd modesty, which happening to be somewhat subtilized and rarified by the constant heat of a little family pride, ----they both so wrought together within him, that he could never bear to hear the affair of my aunt DINAH touch'd upon, but with the greatest emotion. ----The least hint of it was enough to make the blood fly into his face; --but when my father enlarged upon the story in mixed companies, which the illustration of his hypothesis frequently obliged him to do, --the unfortunate blight of one of the fairest branches of the family, would set my uncle _Toby's_ honour and modesty o'bleeding; and he would often take my father aside, in the greatest concern imaginable, to expostulate and tell him, he would give him anything in the world, only to let the story rest.
My father, I believe, had the truest love and tenderness for my uncle _Toby_, that ever one brother bore towards another, and would have done any thing in nature, which one brother in reason could have desir'd of another, to have made my uncle _Toby's_ heart easy in this, or any other point. But this lay out of his power.

You might imagine, Madam, that my uncle Toby spent much of his time talking with your sex, and that from such fair examples acquired this turn of mind.
I wish I could say so, - but unless it was with his sister-in-law, my mother, my uncle Toby scarce exchanged three words with the female sex in as many years. No; he got this modesty, Madam, by a blow.
- A blow!
- Yes, Madam, a blow from a stone, broke off by a cannon-ball from the parapet of a horn-work at the siege of Namur, which struck full upon my uncle Toby's groin.
- How could that cause it?
- The story of that, Madam, is long and interesting; but it would be running my history all upon heaps to give it you here. Later on, every detail of it shall be faithfully laid before you: but till then, I can say only that my uncle Toby was a gentleman of unparalleled modesty.
Since he also had some family pride, he could never bear to hear the affair of my aunt Dinah mentioned, without the greatest emotion. The least hint of it made him blush; but when my father told the story in mixed company, which he did frequently, it would set my uncle Toby's modesty bleeding; and he would take my father aside to expostulate with him, saying he would give him anything if he would only let the story rest.
My father, I believe, had the truest love for my uncle Toby, and would have done anything to ease his brother's heart. But this lay out of his power.
