My uncle _Toby_ would never offer to answer this by any other kind of argument, than that of whistling half a dozen bars of _Lillabullero_. ----You must know it was the usual channel thro' which his passions got vent, when any thing shocked or surprized him: ----but especially when any thing, which he deem'd very absurd, was offered.
As not one of our logical writers, nor any of the commentators upon them, that I remember, have thought proper to give a name to this particular species of argument, --I here take the liberty to do it myself, for two reasons. First, That, in order to prevent all confusion in disputes, it may stand as much distinguished for ever, from every other species of argument------as the _Argumentum ad Verecundiam_, _ex Absurdo, ex Fortiori_, or any other argument whatsoever: ----And, secondly, That it may be said by my children's children, when my head is laid to rest, ----that their learn'd grandfather's head had been busied to as much purpose once, as other people's; --That he had invented a name, --and generously thrown it into the TREASURY of the _Ars Logica_, for one of the most unanswerable arguments in the whole science. And, if the end of disputation is more to silence than convince, --they may add, if they please, to one of the best arguments too.
I do therefore, by these presents, strictly order and command, That it be known and distinguished by the name and title of the _Argumentum Fistulatorium_, and no other; --and that it rank hereafter with the _Argumentum Baculinum_ and the _Argumentum ad Crumenam_, and for ever hereafter be treated of in the same chapter.
As for the _Argumentum Tripodium_, which is never used but by the woman against the man; --and the _Argumentum ad Rem_, which, contrarywise, is made use of by the man only against the woman; --As these two are enough in conscience for one lecture; ----and, moreover, as the one is the best answer to the other, --let them likewise be kept apart, and be treated of in a place by themselves.
My uncle Toby would never answer this by any other argument, than that of whistling half a dozen bars of Lillabullero. This was the usual channel through which his passions got vent, when anything shocked or surprised him, or when he was presented with an absurdity.
As none of our logical writers have thought proper to give a name to this particular species of argument, I here take the liberty to do it myself, for two reasons. First, that it may stand distinguished for ever from every other type of argument - like the Argumentum ad Verecundiam, ex Absurdo, ex Fortiori, etc; - and secondly, that it may be said by my grandchildren, when I am laid to rest, that their learned grandfather's head had been busy once; that he had invented a name for one of the best and most unanswerable arguments in the whole science of Logic.
I do therefore command that it be known by the name and title of the Argumentum Fistulatorium (or Whistlers' Argument); and that it should rank hereafter with the Argumentum Baculinum (or Argument of Sticks) and the Argumentum ad Crumenam (or Moneybags' Argument), and for ever after be treated of in the same chapter.
As for the Argumentum Tripodium, (or Three-footed Argument), which is never used except by the woman against the man; - and the Argumentum ad Rem (or Argument to the Point), which, contrarywise, is only used by the man against the woman; - as the one of these is the best answer to the other, let them be kept apart, and be treated of in a place by themselves.