As Mrs. _Bridget_ opened the door before the corporal had well given the rap, the interval betwixt that and my uncle _Toby's_ introduction into the parlour, was so short, that Mrs. _Wadman_ had but just time to get from behind the curtain----lay a Bible upon the table, and advance a step or two towards the door to receive him.
My uncle _Toby_ saluted Mrs. _Wadman_, after the manner in which women were saluted by men in the year of our Lord God one thousand seven hundred and thirteen----then facing about, he march'd up abreast with her to the sopha, and in three plain words----though not before he was sat down----nor after he was sat down----but as he was sitting down, told her, "_he was in love_"----so that my uncle _Toby_ strained himself more in the declaration than he needed.
Mrs. _Wadman_ naturally looked down, upon a slit she had been darning up in her apron, in expectation every moment, that my uncle _Toby_ would go on; but having no talents for amplification, and Love moreover of all others being a subject of which he was the least a master ----When he had told Mrs. _Wadman_ once that he loved her, he let it alone, and left the matter to work after its own way.
My father was always in raptures with this system of my uncle _Toby's_, as he falsely called it, and would often say, that could his brother _Toby_ to his process have added but a pipe of tobacco----he had wherewithal to have found his way, if there was faith in a _Spanish_ proverb, towards the hearts of half the women upon the globe.
My uncle _Toby_ never understood what my father meant; nor will I presume to extract more from it, than a condemnation of an error which the bulk of the world lie under----but the _French_ every one of 'em to a man, who believe in it, almost, as much as the REAL PRESENCE, "_That talking of love, is making it_."
------I would as soon set about making a black-pudding by the same receipt.
Let us go on: Mrs. _Wadman_ sat in expectation my uncle _Toby_ would do so, to almost the first pulsation of that minute, wherein silence on one side or the other, generally becomes indecent: so edging herself a little more towards him, and raising up her eyes, sub-blushing, as she did it----she took up the gauntlet----or the discourse (if you like it better) and communed with my uncle _Toby_, thus:
The cares and disquietudes of the marriage state, quoth Mrs. _Wadman_, are very great. I suppose so--said my uncle _Toby_: and therefore when a person, continued Mrs. _Wadman_, is so much at his ease as you are--so happy, captain _Shandy_, in yourself, your friends and your amusements --I wonder, what reasons can incline you to the state------
----They are written, quoth my uncle _Toby_, in the Common-Prayer Book.

As Mrs. Bridget opened the door before the corporal had properly knocked, the interval before my uncle Toby's entrance into the parlour was so short that Mrs. Wadman had just time to get from behind the curtain, - lay a Bible upon the table, and advance to receive him.
My uncle Toby saluted Mrs. Wadman in the manner of 1713 - then, turning around, he marched up abreast with her to the sofa, and in three plain words - though not before he was sat down - nor after he was sat down - but as he was sitting down, told her, 'he was in love.'
Mrs. Wadman naturally looked down, expecting that my uncle Toby would go on; but having no talents for amplification, and Love being a subject of which he had no mastery - having told her once that he loved her, he let it alone, and left the matter to work its own way.
My father was always in raptures with this system of my uncle Toby's, as he falsely called it; and would often say, that if his brother could have added a pipe of tobacco to his process, he would have found his way towards the hearts of half the women on the globe.
My uncle Toby never understood what my father meant; nor will I presume to extract more from it, than a condemnation of an error which most of the world, except the French, lie under - believing 'that talking of love, is making it.'
I would as soon set about making a black-pudding by the same recipe.
Let us go on: Mrs. Wadman expecting my uncle Toby would do so, until the silence became almost indecent: so edging herself a little more towards him, and raising up her eyes, sub-blushing, as she did it - she took up the gauntlet - or the discourse - with my uncle Toby, thus:
'The cares and worries of the marriage state,' quoth she, 'are very great.'
'I suppose so,' said my uncle Toby.
'And therefore when a person,' continued Mrs. Wadman, 'is so much at his ease as you are - so happy, captain Shandy, in yourself, your friends and your amusements - I wonder, what reasons can incline you to the state?'
'They are written,' quoth my uncle, 'in the Common-Prayer Book.'
