----I wonder what's all that noise, and running backwards and forwards for, above stairs, quoth my father, addressing himself, after an hour and a half's silence, to my uncle _Toby_, ----who, you must know, was sitting on the opposite side of the fire, smoking his social pipe all the time, in mute contemplation of a new pair of black plush-breeches which he had got on: --What can they be doing, brother? --quoth my father, --we can scarce hear ourselves talk.
I think, replied my uncle _Toby_, taking his pipe from his mouth, and striking the head of it two or three times upon the nail of his left thumb, as he began his sentence, ----I think, says he: ----But to enter rightly into my uncle _Toby's_ sentiments upon this matter, you must be made to enter first a little into his character, the outlines of which I shall just give you, and then the dialogue between him and my father will go on as well again.
Pray what was that man's name, --for I write in such a hurry, I have no time to recollect or look for it, ----who first made the observation, "That there was great inconstancy in our air and climate?" Whoever he was, 'twas a just and good observation in him. --But the corollary drawn from it, namely, "That it is this which has furnished us with such a variety of odd and whimsical characters;" --that was not his; --it was found out by another man, at least a century and a half after him: Then again, --that this copious store-house of original materials, is the true and natural cause that our Comedies are so much better than those of _France_, or any others that either have, or can be wrote upon the Continent: ----that discovery was not fully made till about the middle of King _William's_ reign, --when the great _Dryden_, in writing one of his long prefaces, (if I mistake not) most fortunately hit upon it. Indeed toward the latter end of Queen _Anne_, the great _Addison_ began to patronize the notion, and more fully explained it to the world in one or two of his Spectators; --but the discovery was not his. --Then, fourthly and lastly, that this strange irregularity in our climate, producing so strange an irregularity in our characters, ----doth thereby, in some sort, make us amends, by giving us somewhat to make us merry with when the weather will not suffer us to go out of doors, --that observation is my own; --and was struck out by me this very rainy day, _March_ 26, 1759, and betwixt the hours of nine and ten in the morning.
Thus--thus, my fellow-labourers and associates in this great harvest of our learning, now ripening before our eyes; thus it is, by slow steps of casual increase, that our knowledge physical, metaphysical, physiological, polemical, nautical, mathematical, nigmatical, technical, biographical, romantical, chemical, and obstetrical, with fifty other branches of it, (most of 'em ending as these do, in _ical_) have for these two last centuries and more, gradually been creeping upwards towards that of their perfections, from which, if we may form a conjecture from the advances of these last seven years, we cannot possibly be far off.
When that happens, it is to be hoped, it will put an end to all kind of writings whatsoever; --the want of all kind of writing will put an end to all kind of reading; --and that in time, _As war begets poverty; poverty peace_, ----must, in course, put an end to all kind of knowledge, --and then----we shall have all to begin over again; or, in other words, be exactly where we started.

'I wonder what's all that noise, and running backwards and forwards for, upstairs,' said my father, after an hour and a half's silence, to my uncle Toby, who was sitting on the opposite side of the fire, smoking his pipe in mute contemplation of his new pair of black plush breeches.
'What can they be doing, brother?' said my father. 'We can scarce hear ourselves talk.'
'I think,' replied my uncle Toby, taking his pipe from his mouth, 'I think,' says he:
- But to enter into my uncle Toby's sentiments upon this matter, you must enter first a little into his character, the outlines of which I shall just give you, and then the dialogue between him and my father will go on again.
Pray who was that man - for I write in such a hurry, I have no time to look it up - who first observed 'That there was great inconstancy in our air and climate?' Whoever he was, 'twas a good observation. Someone I forget, a century later observed, 'It is this which has given us such a variety of odd and whimsical characters.' This copious store-house of original materials is the cause why our Comedies are so much better than those of France: that discovery was not made till about the middle of King William's reign, when the great Dryden, in writing one of his long prefaces, (if I mistake not) most fortunately hit upon it. Then, toward the latter end of Queen Anne, the great Addison took up the notion, and fully explained it to the world in the Spectator.
This strange irregularity in our climate, producing so strange an irregularity in our characters, gives us something to make merry with when the weather will not allow us to go out of doors. - That observation is my own; and was created by me this very rainy day, March 26, 1759, between nine and ten in the morning.
Thus, my fellow-labourers in this great harvest of our learning, now ripening before our eyes; thus it is, by slow steps, that our knowledge physical, metaphysical, physiological, polemical, nautical, mathematical, technical, biographical, romantical, chemical, and obstetrical, with fifty other branches (most ending in -ical) have for these two last centuries been creeping up towards that Acme of perfection, from which we cannot be far off.
When that perfection is reached, it will put an end to all writing; the lack of writing will put an end to all reading; - and in time, as war begets poverty; poverty peace, - that must, in due course, put an end to all knowledge - and we shall have to begin again, exactly where we started.
