If I had kept the company SOME FOLKS have had through MY MEANS, perhaps my son wouldn't have any reason to brag, sir, of his SUPERIORITY and WEST END AIRS (these words were uttered in the elder Osborne's most sarcastic tones).

If I had kept the company some folks have had through my means, perhaps my son wouldn't have any reason to brag, sir, of his superiority.


But it wasn't considered the part of a gentleman, in MY time, for a man to insult his father.

But it wasn't considered gentlemanly, in my time, for a man to insult his father.


If I'd done any such thing, mine would have kicked me downstairs, sir."


I said I begged you to remember your son was a gentleman as well as yourself.


I know very well that you give me plenty of money," said George (fingering a bundle of notes which he had got in the morning from Mr. Chopper).

I know very well that you give me plenty of money," said George.


"I wish you'd remember other things as well, sir," the sire answered.

"I wish you'd remember other things as well, sir," his father answered.


"I wish you'd remember that in this house--so long as you choose to HONOUR it with your COMPANY, Captain--I'm the master, and that name, and that that--that you--that I say--"

"I wish you'd remember that in this house - so long as you choose to honour it with your company - I'm the master, and that name - that you - that-"


George asked, with scarcely a sneer, filling another glass of claret.

George asked, filling another glass of claret.


burst out his father with a screaming oath--"that the name of those Sedleys never be mentioned here, sir--not one of the whole damned lot of 'em, sir."

burst out his father with a screaming oath. "That the name of those Sedleys never be mentioned here, sir - not one of the whole damned lot of 'em."


"It wasn't I, sir, that introduced Miss Sedley's name.


It was my sisters who spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz; and by Jove I'll defend her wherever I go.

It was my sisters who spoke ill of her to Miss Swartz; and by Jove, I'll defend her wherever I go.


Nobody shall speak lightly of that name in my presence.

Nobody shall speak lightly of her in my presence.


Our family has done her quite enough injury already, I think, and may leave off reviling her now she's down.

Our family has done her quite enough injury already, I think, and may stop reviling her.


I'll shoot any man but you who says a word against her."


"Go on, sir, go on," the old gentleman said, his eyes starting out of his head.


about the way in which we've treated that angel of a girl?


I might have chosen elsewhere, and looked higher, perhaps, than your society: but I obeyed you.

I might have chosen elsewhere, and looked higher: but I obeyed you.


And now that her heart's mine you give me orders to fling it away, and punish her, kill her perhaps--for the faults of other people.

And now that her heart's mine you give me orders to fling it away, and punish her, kill her perhaps - for other people's faults.


It's a shame, by Heavens," said George, working himself up into passion and enthusiasm as he proceeded, "to play at fast and loose with a young girl's affections--and with such an angel as that--one so superior to the people amongst whom she lived, that she might have excited envy, only she was so good and gentle, that it's a wonder anybody dared to hate her.

It's a shame, by Heavens," said George, working himself up into a passion, "to play fast and loose with a young girl's affections - and with such an angel as that - so superior, so good and gentle.


If I desert her, sir, do you suppose she forgets me?"


"I ain't going to have any of this dam sentimental nonsense and humbug here, sir," the father cried out.


"There shall be no beggar-marriages in my family.


If you choose to fling away eight thousand a year, which you may have for the asking, you may do it: but by Jove you take your pack and walk out of this house, sir.

If you choose to fling away the chance of eight thousand a year, you may do it: but you will walk out of this house, sir.


Will you do as I tell you, once for all, sir, or will you not?"

Will you do as I tell you, or will you not?"


George said, pulling up his shirt-collars.


Ask the black that sweeps opposite Fleet Market, sir.


I'm not going to marry a Hottentot Venus."


Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the cord by which he was accustomed to summon the butler when he wanted wine--and almost black in the face, ordered that functionary to call a coach for Captain Osborne.

Mr. Osborne pulled frantically at the bell-cord, and almost black in the face, ordered the butler to call a coach for Captain Osborne.


"I've done it," said George, coming into the Slaughters' an hour afterwards, looking very pale.

"I've done it," said George, coming into the Slaughters' Coffee-house an hour afterwards, looking very pale.


George told what had passed between his father and himself.


"I'll marry her to-morrow," he said with an oath.

"I'll marry her tomorrow," he said with an oath.


The above everyday events had occurred, and a few weeks had passed, when on one fine morning, Parliament being over, the summer advanced, and all the good company in London about to quit that city for their annual tour in search of pleasure or health, the Batavier steamboat left the Tower-stairs laden with a goodly company of English fugitives.

One fine morning a few weeks later, the Batavier steamboat left the Tower of London laden with English fugitives.


The quarter-deck awnings were up, and the benches and gangways crowded with scores of rosy children, bustling nursemaids; ladies in the prettiest pink bonnets and summer dresses; gentlemen in travelling caps and linen-jackets, whose mustachios had just begun to sprout for the ensuing tour; and stout trim old veterans with starched neckcloths and neat-brushed hats, such as have invaded Europe any time since the conclusion of the war, and carry the national Goddem into every city of the Continent.

The benches and gangways were crowded with rosy children and bustling nursemaids; ladies in the prettiest bonnets and summer dresses; gentlemen in linen-jackets; and stout, trim old veterans.


The congregation of hat-boxes, and Bramah desks, and dressing-cases was prodigious.


There were jaunty young Cambridge-men travelling with their tutor, and going for a reading excursion to Nonnenwerth or Konigswinter; there were Irish gentlemen, with the most dashing whiskers and jewellery, talking about horses incessantly, and prodigiously polite to the young ladies on board, whom, on the contrary, the Cambridge lads and their pale-faced tutor avoided with maiden coyness; there were old Pall Mall loungers bound for Ems and Wiesbaden and a course of waters to clear off the dinners of the season, and a little roulette and trente-et-quarante to keep the excitement going; there was old Methuselah, who had married his young wife, with Captain Papillon of the Guards holding her parasol and guide-books; there was young May who was carrying off his bride on a pleasure tour (Mrs. Winter that was, and who had been at school with May's grandmother); there was Sir John and my Lady with a dozen children, and corresponding nursemaids; and the great grandee Bareacres family that sat by themselves near the wheel, stared at everybody, and spoke to no one.

There were jaunty young Cambridge students travelling with their tutor; there were Irish gentlemen with the most dashing whiskers, talking about horses incessantly, and prodigiously polite to the young ladies on board; there was old Methuselah beside his new young wife, with Captain Papillon of the Guards holding her parasol and guide-books; there was young May carrying off his bride who had been at school with his grandmother.
There was the great Bareacres family that sat by themselves, stared at everybody, and spoke to no-one.


Their carriages, emblazoned with coronets and heaped with shining imperials, were on the foredeck, locked in with a dozen more such vehicles: it was difficult to pass in and out amongst them; and the poor inmates of the fore-cabin had scarcely any space for locomotion.

Their carriages, emblazoned with coronets, were on the foredeck, locked in with a dozen more vehicles. It was difficult to pass in and out amongst them; and the poor inmates of the fore-cabin had scarcely any space to move.


These consisted of a few magnificently attired gentlemen from Houndsditch, who brought their own provisions, and could have bought half the gay people in the grand saloon; a few honest fellows with mustachios and portfolios, who set to sketching before they had been half an hour on board; one or two French femmes de chambre who began to be dreadfully ill by the time the boat had passed Greenwich; a groom or two who lounged in the neighbourhood of the horse-boxes under their charge, or leaned over the side by the paddle-wheels, and talked about who was good for the Leger, and what they stood to win or lose for the Goodwood cup.

These consisted of a few magnificently dressed gentlemen from Houndsditch; several honest fellows with portfolios, who began sketching within half an hour; and some French maids who were ill before the boat had passed Greenwich. A groom or two lounged around the horse-boxes and talked about the races.


All the couriers, when they had done plunging about the ship and had settled their various masters in the cabins or on the deck, congregated together and began to chatter and smoke; the Hebrew gentlemen joining them and looking at the carriages.


There was Sir John's great carriage that would hold thirteen people; my Lord Methuselah's carriage, my Lord Bareacres' chariot, britzska, and fourgon, that anybody might pay for who liked.


It was a wonder how my Lord got the ready money to pay for the expenses of the journey.


The Hebrew gentlemen knew how he got it.


They knew what money his Lordship had in his pocket at that instant, and what interest he paid for it, and who gave it him.


Finally there was a very neat, handsome travelling carriage, about which the gentlemen speculated.

Amongst these vehicles was a very neat, handsome travelling carriage.


said one gentleman-courier with a large morocco money-bag and ear-rings to another with ear-rings and a large morocco money-bag.


"C'est a Kirsch je bense--je l'ai vu toute a l'heure--qui brenoit des sangviches dans la voiture," said the courier in a fine German French.


Kirsch emerging presently from the neighbourhood of the hold, where he had been bellowing instructions intermingled with polyglot oaths to the ship's men engaged in secreting the passengers' luggage, came to give an account of himself to his brother interpreters.


He informed them that the carriage belonged to a Nabob from Calcutta and Jamaica enormously rich, and with whom he was engaged to travel; and at this moment a young gentleman who had been warned off the bridge between the paddle-boxes, and who had dropped thence on to the roof of Lord Methuselah's carriage, from which he made his way over other carriages and imperials until he had clambered on to his own, descended thence and through the window into the body of the carriage, to the applause of the couriers looking on.

, and was told that it belonged to a Nabob from Calcutta, who was enormously rich. At this moment a young gentleman, who had been warned off the bridge, dropped from there to the roof of a carriage, clambered over the other roofs until he reached this travelling carriage, and descended through the window into it.


"Nous allons avoir une belle traversee, Monsieur George," said the courier with a grin, as he lifted his gold-laced cap.


"D---- your French," said the young gentleman, "where's the biscuits, ay?"


Whereupon Kirsch answered him in the English language or in such an imitation of it as he could command--for though he was familiar with all languages, Mr. Kirsch was not acquainted with a single one, and spoke all with indifferent volubility and incorrectness.


The imperious young gentleman who gobbled the biscuits (and indeed it was time to refresh himself, for he had breakfasted at Richmond full three hours before) was our young friend George Osborne.

The young gentleman was our friend George Osborne.


Uncle Jos and his mamma were on the quarter-deck with a gentleman of whom they used to see a good deal, and the four were about to make a summer tour.

Uncle Jos and his mamma were on the quarter-deck with Dobbin, and they were about to make a summer tour.


Jos was seated at that moment on deck under the awning, and pretty nearly opposite to the Earl of Bareacres and his family, whose proceedings absorbed the Bengalee almost entirely.

Jos was seated at that moment on deck, nearly opposite the Earl of Bareacres and his family, whose proceedings absorbed him.


Both the noble couple looked rather younger than in the eventful year '15, when Jos remembered to have seen them at Brussels (indeed, he always gave out in India that he was intimately acquainted with them).

Both the noble couple looked rather younger than in the eventful year 1815, when Jos remembered seeing them at Brussels.


Lady Bareacres' hair, which was then dark, was now a beautiful golden auburn, whereas Lord Bareacres' whiskers, formerly red, were at present of a rich black with purple and green reflections in the light.

Lady Bareacres' hair, which was then dark, was now a beautiful auburn, whereas Lord Bareacres' whiskers, formerly red, were a rich black with purple and green reflections in the light.


But changed as they were, the movements of the noble pair occupied Jos's mind entirely.


The presence of a Lord fascinated him, and he could look at nothing else.

The presence of a Lord fascinated Jos, and he could look at nothing else.


"Those people seem to interest you a good deal," said Dobbin, laughing and watching him.

"Those people seem to interest you a good deal," said Dobbin, laughing.


She was in a straw bonnet with black ribbons, and otherwise dressed in mourning, but the little bustle and holiday of the journey pleased and excited her, and she looked particularly happy.

She was dressed in mourning, but the little bustle of the journey excited her, and she looked particularly happy.


Emmy said and added, with great originality, "I hope we shall have a calm passage."

she said and added, with great originality, "I hope we shall have a calm passage."


Jos waved his hand, scornfully glancing at the same time under his eyelids at the great folks opposite.


"If you had made the voyages we have," he said, "you wouldn't much care about the weather."

"If you had made the voyages we have," he said, "you wouldn't care about the weather."


But nevertheless, traveller as he was, he passed the night direfully sick in his carriage, where his courier tended him with brandy-and-water and every luxury.

But nevertheless, he passed the night direfully sick in his carriage, where his servant tended him with brandy-and-water.


In due time this happy party landed at the quays of Rotterdam, whence they were transported by another steamer to the city of Cologne.

In due time this happy party landed at Rotterdam, and were transported by steamer to Cologne.


Here the carriage and the family took to the shore, and Jos was not a little gratified to see his arrival announced in the Cologne newspapers as "Herr Graf Lord von Sedley nebst Begleitung aus London."

Here Jos was gratified to see his arrival announced in the Cologne newspapers.


He had his court dress with him; he had insisted that Dobbin should bring his regimental paraphernalia; he announced that it was his intention to be presented at some foreign courts, and pay his respects to the Sovereigns of the countries which he honoured with a visit.

He had his court dress with him; he had insisted that Dobbin should bring his regimental uniform, and announced that he intended to be presented at some foreign courts, and pay his respects to the Sovereigns of the countries which he honoured with a visit.


Wherever the party stopped, and an opportunity was offered, Mr. Jos left his own card and the Major's upon "Our Minister."

Wherever the party stopped, Mr. Jos left his own card and the Major's


It was with great difficulty that he could be restrained from putting on his cocked hat and tights to wait upon the English consul at the Free City of Judenstadt, when that hospitable functionary asked our travellers to dinner.

with the English consul; it was with great difficulty that he could be restrained from putting on his cocked hat and tights to do so.


He kept a journal of his voyage and noted elaborately the defects or excellences of the various inns at which he put up, and of the wines and dishes of which he partook.

He kept a journal of his voyage and noted elaborately the defects or excellences of the various inns at which he put up, and of the wines and dishes there.


As for Emmy, she was very happy and pleased.


Dobbin used to carry about for her her stool and sketch-book, and admired the drawings of the good-natured little artist as they never had been admired before.

Dobbin used to carry about her stool and sketch-book, and admired her drawings as they had never been admired before.


She sat upon steamers' decks and drew crags and castles, or she mounted upon donkeys and ascended to ancient robber-towers, attended by her two aides-de-camp, Georgy and Dobbin.

She sat upon steamers' decks and drew crags and castles, or she mounted upon donkeys and ascended to ancient robber-towers, with Georgy and Dobbin.


She laughed, and the Major did too, at his droll figure on donkey-back, with his long legs touching the ground.


He was the interpreter for the party; having a good military knowledge of the German language, and he and the delighted George fought the campaigns of the Rhine and the Palatinate.

He was the party's interpreter, having a good military knowledge of the German language.


In the course of a few weeks, and by assiduously conversing with Herr Kirsch on the box of the carriage, Georgy made prodigious advance in the knowledge of High Dutch, and could talk to hotel waiters and postilions in a way that charmed his mother and amused his guardian.

Over a few weeks, Georgy made prodigious advances in German, and could talk to waiters in a way that charmed his mother and amused his guardian.


Mr. Jos did not much engage in the afternoon excursions of his fellow-travellers.

Mr. Jos did not join in their afternoon excursions.


He slept a good deal after dinner, or basked in the arbours of the pleasant inn-gardens.

He slept a good deal after dinner, or basked in the inn-gardens.


Fair scenes of peace and sunshine--noble purple mountains, whose crests are reflected in the magnificent stream--who has ever seen you that has not a grateful memory of those scenes of friendly repose and beauty?

Fair scenes of peace and sunshine - noble purple mountains, reflected in the magnificent stream - who that has ever seen you, does not have a grateful memory of your beauty?


To lay down the pen and even to think of that beautiful Rhineland makes one happy.

To lay down the pen and think of Rhineland makes one happy.


At this time of summer evening, the cows are trooping down from the hills, lowing and with their bells tinkling, to the old town, with its old moats, and gates, and spires, and chestnut-trees, with long blue shadows stretching over the grass; the sky and the river below flame in crimson and gold; and the moon is already out, looking pale towards the sunset.

On a summer evening, the cows are trooping down from the hills, their bells tinkling, to the old town, with its moats, spires, and chestnut-trees. Long blue shadows stretch over the grass, and the sky and the river flame in crimson and gold.


The sun sinks behind the great castle-crested mountains, the night falls suddenly, the river grows darker and darker, lights quiver in it from the windows in the old ramparts, and twinkle peacefully in the villages under the hills on the opposite shore.

The sun sinks behind the great castle-crested mountains; the river grows darker and darker. Lights quiver from the windows in the old ramparts, and twinkle peacefully in the villages under the hills.


So Jos used to go to sleep a good deal with his bandanna over his face and be very comfortable, and read all the English news, and every word of Galignani's admirable newspaper (may the blessings of all Englishmen who have ever been abroad rest on the founders and proprietors of that piratical print! )

So Jos used to sleep a good deal with his bandanna over his face, and read all the English news, and


and whether he woke or slept, his friends did not very much miss him.


They went to the opera often of evenings--to those snug, unassuming, dear old operas in the German towns, where the noblesse sits and cries, and knits stockings on the one side, over against the bourgeoisie on the other; and His Transparency the Duke and his Transparent family, all very fat and good-natured, come and occupy the great box in the middle; and the pit is full of the most elegant slim-waisted officers with straw-coloured mustachios, and twopence a day on full pay.

They went to the opera often - to those unassuming, dear old operas in the German towns.


Here it was that Emmy found her delight, and was introduced for the first time to the wonders of Mozart and Cimarosa.

Here Emmy was introduced for the first time to the wonders of Mozart.


The Major's musical taste has been before alluded to, and his performances on the flute commended.


But perhaps the chief pleasure he had in these operas was in watching Emmy's rapture while listening to them.

but his chief pleasure in these operas was in watching Emmy's rapture.


A new world of love and beauty broke upon her when she was introduced to those divine compositions; this lady had the keenest and finest sensibility, and how could she be indifferent when she heard Mozart?

A new world of love and beauty broke upon her; how could she be indifferent when she heard Mozart?


The tender parts of "Don Juan" awakened in her raptures so exquisite that she would ask herself when she went to say her prayers of a night whether it was not wicked to feel so much delight as that with which "Vedrai Carino" and "Batti Batti" filled her gentle little bosom?

She wondered when she prayed whether it was not wicked to feel so much delight at music?


But the Major, whom she consulted upon this head, as her theological adviser (and who himself had a pious and reverent soul), said that for his part, every beauty of art or nature made him thankful as well as happy, and that the pleasure to be had in listening to fine music, as in looking at the stars in the sky, or at a beautiful landscape or picture, was a benefit for which we might thank Heaven as sincerely as for any other worldly blessing.

The Major, whom she consulted, said that for his part, every beauty of art or nature made him grateful, and that the pleasure to be had in fine music or a beautiful landscape or picture, was something for which we might thank Heaven.


And in reply to some faint objections of Mrs. Amelia's (taken from certain theological works like the Washerwoman of Finchley Common and others of that school, with which Mrs. Osborne had been furnished during her life at Brompton) he told her an Eastern fable of the Owl who thought that the sunshine was unbearable for the eyes and that the Nightingale was a most overrated bird.


"It is one's nature to sing and the other's to hoot," he said, laughing, "and with such a sweet voice as you have yourself, you must belong to the Bulbul faction."


I like to dwell upon this period of her life and to think that she was cheerful and happy.

I like to dwell upon this period of Amelia's life and to think that she was cheerful and happy.


You see, she has not had too much of that sort of existence as yet, and has not fallen in the way of means to educate her tastes or her intelligence.

You see, she has not had too much of that sort of existence yet, nor has she had the chance to educate her tastes or her intelligence.


She has been domineered over hitherto by vulgar intellects.

She has been domineered over by vulgar intellects.


And as every one of the dear sex is the rival of the rest of her kind, timidity passes for folly in their charitable judgments; and gentleness for dulness; and silence--which is but timid denial of the unwelcome assertion of ruling folks, and tacit protestantism--above all, finds no mercy at the hands of the female Inquisition.


Thus, my dear and civilized reader, if you and I were to find ourselves this evening in a society of greengrocers, let us say, it is probable that our conversation would not be brilliant; if, on the other hand, a greengrocer should find himself at your refined and polite tea-table, where everybody was saying witty things, and everybody of fashion and repute tearing her friends to pieces in the most delightful manner, it is possible that the stranger would not be very talkative and by no means interesting or interested.


And it must be remembered that this poor lady had never met a gentleman in her life until this present moment.


Perhaps these are rarer personages than some of us think for.

Perhaps these are rarer people than we think.


Which of us can point out many such in his circle--men whose aims are generous, whose truth is constant, and not only constant in its kind but elevated in its degree; whose want of meanness makes them simple; who can look the world honestly in the face with an equal manly sympathy for the great and the small?

Which of us can point out many such - men who are generous and constant; whose lack of meanness makes them simple; who have an honest manly sympathy for great and small alike?


We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, and a score who have excellent manners, and one or two happy beings who are what they call in the inner circles, and have shot into the very centre and bull's-eye of the fashion; but of gentlemen how many?

We all know a hundred whose coats are very well made, and a score who have excellent manners, and one or two happy beings who are in the inner circles, the very bull's-eye of fashion; but how many are gentlemen?


Let us take a little scrap of paper and each make out his list.


My friend the Major I write, without any doubt, in mine.


He had very long legs, a yellow face, and a slight lisp, which at first was rather ridiculous.

He had very long legs, a yellow face, and a slight lisp.


But his thoughts were just, his brains were fairly good, his life was honest and pure, and his heart warm and humble.

But his thoughts were just, his life was honest and pure, and his heart warm and humble.


He certainly had very large hands and feet, which the two George Osbornes used to caricature and laugh at; and their jeers and laughter perhaps led poor little Emmy astray as to his worth.

He certainly had very large hands and feet, which the two George Osbornes used to laugh at; and their jeers perhaps led poor little Emmy astray as to his worth.


But have we not all been misled about our heroes and changed our opinions a hundred times?

But have we not all been misled about our heroes and changed our opinions?


Emmy, in this happy time, found that hers underwent a very great change in respect of the merits of the Major.

Emmy, in this happy time, found that hers underwent a very great change about the merits of the Major.


Perhaps it was the happiest time of both their lives, indeed, if they did but know it--and who does?

Perhaps it was the happiest time of both their lives, indeed, if they did but know it.


Which of us can point out and say that was the culmination--that was the summit of human joy?


But at all events, this couple were very decently contented, and enjoyed as pleasant a summer tour as any pair that left England that year.

At all events, this couple were very decently contented.


Georgy was always present at the play, but it was the Major who put Emmy's shawl on after the entertainment; and in the walks and excursions the young lad would be on ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, whilst the soberer couple were below, the Major smoking his cigar with great placidity and constancy, whilst Emmy sketched the site or the ruin.

Georgy was always present; in their walks he would be on ahead, and up a tower-stair or a tree, whilst the soberer couple were below, the Major smoking his cigar, whilst Emmy sketched.


It was on this very tour that I, the present writer of a history of which every word is true, had the pleasure to see them first and to make their acquaintance.

It was on this very tour that I had the pleasure to make their acquaintance.


It was at the little comfortable Ducal town of Pumpernickel (that very place where Sir Pitt Crawley had been so distinguished as an attache; but that was in early early days, and before the news of the Battle of Austerlitz sent all the English diplomatists in Germany to the right about) that I first saw Colonel Dobbin and his party.

It was at the little town of Pumpernickel that I first saw Colonel Dobbin and his party.


They had arrived with the carriage and courier at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best of the town, and the whole party dined at the table d'hote.

They had arrived at the Erbprinz Hotel, the best in town, and were dining there.


Everybody remarked the majesty of Jos and the knowing way in which he sipped, or rather sucked, the Johannisberger, which he ordered for dinner.

Everybody remarked the majesty of Jos and the knowing way in which he ate his dinner.


The little boy, too, we observed, had a famous appetite, and consumed schinken, and braten, and kartoffeln, and cranberry jam, and salad, and pudding, and roast fowls, and sweetmeats, with a gallantry that did honour to his nation.

The little boy, too, had a great appetite, and consumed pudding, roast fowls, and sweetmeats, with a gallantry that did honour to his nation.


After about fifteen dishes, he concluded the repast with dessert, some of which he even carried out of doors, for some young gentlemen at table, amused with his coolness and gallant free-and-easy manner, induced him to pocket a handful of macaroons, which he discussed on his way to the theatre, whither everybody went in the cheery social little German place.


The lady in black, the boy's mamma, laughed and blushed, and looked exceedingly pleased and shy as the dinner went on, and at the various feats and instances of espieglerie on the part of her son.

The lady in black, the boy's mamma, laughed and blushed, and looked exceedingly pleased and shy.


The Colonel--for so he became very soon afterwards--I remember joked the boy with a great deal of grave fun, pointing out dishes which he hadn't tried, and entreating him not to baulk his appetite, but to have a second supply of this or that.

The Major - or Colonel, as he became very soon afterwards - joked gravely with the boy, pointing out dishes which he hadn't tried.


It was what they call a gast-rolle night at the Royal Grand Ducal Pumpernickelisch Hof--or Court theatre--and Madame Schroeder Devrient, then in the bloom of her beauty and genius, performed the part of the heroine in the wonderful opera of Fidelio.

They went on to the Grand Theatre, where Madame Devrient, then in the bloom of her beauty and genius, sang in the wonderful opera of Fidelio.


From our places in the stalls we could see our four friends of the table d'hote in the loge which Schwendler of the Erbprinz kept for his best guests, and I could not help remarking the effect which the magnificent actress and music produced upon Mrs. Osborne, for so we heard the stout gentleman in the mustachios call her.

From our places in the stalls we could see our four friends from the hotel, and I could not help noticing the effect which the magnificent, soaring music produced upon Mrs. Osborne; her


During the astonishing Chorus of the Prisoners, over which the delightful voice of the actress rose and soared in the most ravishing harmony, the English lady's face wore such an expression of wonder and delight that it struck even little Fipps, the blase attache, who drawled out, as he fixed his glass upon her, "Gayd, it really does one good to see a woman caypable of that stayt of excaytement."

face wore an expression of wonder and delight.


And in the Prison Scene, where Fidelio, rushing to her husband, cries, "Nichts, nichts, mein Florestan," she fairly lost herself and covered her face with her handkerchief.


Every woman in the house was snivelling at the time, but I suppose it was because it was predestined that I was to write this particular lady's memoirs that I remarked her.


The next day they gave another piece of Beethoven, Die Schlacht bei Vittoria.

The next day there was another performance of Beethoven, Die Schlacht bei Vittoria.


Malbrook is introduced at the beginning of the performance, as indicative of the brisk advance of the French army.


Then come drums, trumpets, thunders of artillery, and groans of the dying, and at last, in a grand triumphal swell, "God Save the King" is performed.

After drums, trumpets, thunders of artillery, and groans of the dying, at last, in a grand triumphal swell, comes "God Save the King."


There may have been a score of Englishmen in the house, but at the burst of that beloved and well-known music, every one of them, we young fellows in the stalls, Sir John and Lady Bullminster (who had taken a house at Pumpernickel for the education of their nine children), the fat gentleman with the mustachios, the long Major in white duck trousers, and the lady with the little boy upon whom he was so sweet, even Kirsch, the courier in the gallery, stood bolt upright in their places and proclaimed themselves to be members of the dear old British nation.

At the burst of that beloved and well-known music, every English person in the house - we young fellows in the stalls, the fat gentleman and the long Major, and the lady with the little boy, stood bolt upright.


As for Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, he rose up in his box and bowed and simpered, as if he would represent the whole empire.

As for Lord Tapeworm, the Charge d'Affaires, he rose up in his box and bowed and simpered, as if he represented the whole empire.


Tapeworm was nephew and heir of old Marshal Tiptoff, who has been introduced in this story as General Tiptoff, just before Waterloo, who was Colonel of the --th regiment in which Major Dobbin served, and who died in this year full of honours, and of an aspic of plovers' eggs; when the regiment was graciously given by his Majesty to Colonel Sir Michael O'Dowd, K.C.B.

Tapeworm was nephew of old Marshall Tiptoff, who had once been Colonel of the regiment in which Major Dobbin served.


who had commanded it in many glorious fields.


Tapeworm must have met with Colonel Dobbin at the house of the Colonel's Colonel, the Marshal, for he recognized him on this night at the theatre, and with the utmost condescension, his Majesty's minister came over from his own box and publicly shook hands with his new-found friend.

Tapeworm must have met Dobbin at the Marshall's house, for he condescended to come over from his own box and publicly shook hands with him.


"Look at that infernal sly-boots of a Tapeworm," Fipps whispered, examining his chief from the stalls.


"Wherever there's a pretty woman he always twists himself in."


And I wonder what were diplomatists made for but for that?


"Have I the honour of addressing myself to Mrs. Dobbin?"


asked the Secretary with a most insinuating grin.


Georgy burst out laughing and said, "By Jove, that was a good 'un."


Emmy and the Major blushed: we saw them from the stalls.


"This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said the Major, "and this is her brother, Mr. Sedley, a distinguished officer of the Bengal Civil Service: permit me to introduce him to your lordship."

"This lady is Mrs. George Osborne," said the Major, "and this is her brother, Mr. Sedley, a distinguished officer of the Bengal Civil Service."


My lord nearly sent Jos off his legs with the most fascinating smile.

My lord gave Jos the most fascinating smile.


"Are you going to stop in Pumpernickel?"


"It is a dull place, but we want some nice people, and we would try and make it SO agreeable to you.

"It is a dull place, but we would try and make it agreeable to you.


I shall do myself the honour of calling upon you to-morrow at your inn."

I shall do myself the honour of calling upon you tomorrow at your inn."


And he went away with a Parthian grin and glance which he thought must finish Mrs. Osborne completely.

And he went away with a glance which he thought must finish Mrs. Osborne completely.


The performance over, the young fellows lounged about the lobbies, and we saw the society take its departure.

After the performance, the young fellows lounged about the lobbies, and saw the society leave.


The Duchess Dowager went off in her jingling old coach, attended by two faithful and withered old maids of honour, and a little snuffy spindle-shanked gentleman in waiting, in a brown jasey and a green coat covered with orders--of which the star and the grand yellow cordon of the order of St. Michael of Pumpernickel were most conspicuous.


The drums rolled, the guards saluted, and the old carriage drove away.


Then came his Transparency the Duke and Transparent family, with his great officers of state and household.


And amid the saluting of the guards and the flaring of the torches of the running footmen, clad in scarlet, the Transparent carriages drove away to the old Ducal schloss, with its towers and pinacles standing on the schlossberg.


Everybody in Pumpernickel knew everybody.


No sooner was a foreigner seen there than the Minister of Foreign Affairs, or some other great or small officer of state, went round to the Erbprinz and found out the name of the new arrival.


We watched them, too, out of the theatre.


Tapeworm had just walked off, enveloped in his cloak, with which his gigantic chasseur was always in attendance, and looking as much as possible like Don Juan.

Tapeworm walked off enveloped in his cloak, looking as much as possible like Don Juan.


The Prime Minister's lady had just squeezed herself into her sedan, and her daughter, the charming Ida, had put on her calash and clogs; when the English party came out, the boy yawning drearily, the Major taking great pains in keeping the shawl over Mrs. Osborne's head, and Mr. Sedley looking grand, with a crush opera-hat on one side of his head and his hand in the stomach of a voluminous white waistcoat.

The Prime Minister's lady had just squeezed herself into her sedan, when the English group came out, the boy yawning, the Major carefully keeping the shawl over Mrs. Osborne's head, and Mr. Sedley looking grand.


We took off our hats to our acquaintances of the table d'hote, and the lady, in return, presented us with a little smile and a curtsey, for which everybody might be thankful.

We took off our hats to them, and the lady gave us a little smile and a curtsey.


The carriage from the inn, under the superintendence of the bustling Mr. Kirsch, was in waiting to convey the party; but the fat man said he would walk and smoke his cigar on his way homewards, so the other three, with nods and smiles to us, went without Mr. Sedley, Kirsch, with the cigar case, following in his master's wake.

The carriage from the inn was waiting for them; but the fat man said he would walk and smoke his cigar on his way home, so the other three went without him.


We all walked together and talked to the stout gentleman about the agremens of the place.

We walked with the stout gentleman and talked about the advantages of the place.


There were shooting-parties and battues; there was a plenty of balls and entertainments at the hospitable Court; the society was generally good; the theatre excellent; and the living cheap.

; there were shooting-parties, balls and entertainments; the society was good; the theatre excellent; and the living cheap.


"And our Minister seems a most delightful and affable person," our new friend said.

"And our Minister seems a most affable person," our new friend said.


"With such a representative, and--and a good medical man, I can fancy the place to be most eligible.

"With a good medical man, I can fancy the place to be most eligible.


And Jos creaked up the stairs to bedward, followed by Kirsch with a flambeau.


We rather hoped that nice-looking woman would be induced to stay some time in the town.


Cuff's fight with Dobbin, and the unexpected issue of that contest, will long be remembered by every man who was educated at Dr. Swishtail's famous school.

Cuff's fight with Dobbin, and the unexpected result, will long be remembered by every man who was educated at Dr. Swishtail's famous school.


The latter Youth (who used to be called Heigh-ho Dobbin, Gee-ho Dobbin, and by many other names indicative of puerile contempt) was the quietest, the clumsiest, and, as it seemed, the dullest of all Dr. Swishtail's young gentlemen.

Dobbin (who used to be called Heigh-ho Dobbin, Gee-up Dobbin, and other contemptuous names) was the quietest, clumsiest, and, it seemed, the dullest of Dr. Swishtail's pupils.


His parent was a grocer in the city: and it was bruited abroad that he was admitted into Dr. Swishtail's academy upon what are called "mutual principles"--that is to say, the expenses of his board and schooling were defrayed by his father in goods, not money; and he stood there--most at the bottom of the school--in his scraggy corduroys and jacket, through the seams of which his great big bones were bursting--as the representative of so many pounds of tea, candles, sugar, mottled-soap, plums (of which a very mild proportion was supplied for the puddings of the establishment), and other commodities.

His father was a grocer: and it was rumoured that his board and schooling were paid for in goods, not money. He stood there in his scraggy corduroys and jacket, with his great bones bursting through the seams, as the representative of so many pounds of tea, candles, sugar, soap and other commodities.


A dreadful day it was for young Dobbin when one of the youngsters of the school, having run into the town upon a poaching excursion for hardbake and polonies, espied the cart of Dobbin & Rudge, Grocers and Oilmen, Thames Street, London, at the Doctor's door, discharging a cargo of the wares in which the firm dealt.

A dreadful day it was for young Dobbin when one of the boys espied the cart of Dobbin & Rudge, Grocers and Oilmen, at the Doctor's door, unloading its wares.


The jokes were frightful, and merciless against him.


"Hullo, Dobbin," one wag would say, "here's good news in the paper.


Another would set a sum--"If a pound of mutton-candles cost sevenpence-halfpenny, how much must Dobbin cost?"

Another would ask: "If a pound of mutton-candles costs sevenpence-halfpenny, how much must Dobbin cost?"


and a roar would follow from all the circle of young knaves, usher and all, who rightly considered that the selling of goods by retail is a shameful and infamous practice, meriting the contempt and scorn of all real gentlemen.

and a roar would follow from the circle of young knaves, who rightly considered that the selling of goods is a shameful practice, deserving the scorn of all real gentlemen.


"Your father's only a merchant, Osborne," Dobbin said in private to the little boy who had brought down the storm upon him.


At which the latter replied haughtily, "My father's a gentleman, and keeps his carriage"; and Mr. William Dobbin retreated to a remote outhouse in the playground, where he passed a half-holiday in the bitterest sadness and woe.

At which the latter replied haughtily, "My father's a gentleman, and keeps his carriage"; and William Dobbin retreated to a remote outhouse in the playground, in the bitterest sadness and woe.


Who amongst us is there that does not recollect similar hours of bitter, bitter childish grief?

Who does not recollect similar hours of childish grief?


Who feels injustice; who shrinks before a slight; who has a sense of wrong so acute, and so glowing a gratitude for kindness, as a generous boy?

Who feels injustice so acutely as a generous boy?


and how many of those gentle souls do you degrade, estrange, torture, for the sake of a little loose arithmetic, and miserable dog-latin?

and how many of those gentle souls do you degrade and torture, for the sake of a little arithmetic and dog-latin?


Now, William Dobbin, from an incapacity to acquire the rudiments of the above language, as they are propounded in that wonderful book the Eton Latin Grammar, was compelled to remain among the very last of Doctor Swishtail's scholars, and was "taken down" continually by little fellows with pink faces and pinafores when he marched up with the lower form, a giant amongst them, with his downcast, stupefied look, his dog's-eared primer, and his tight corduroys.

Now, William Dobbin, from his inability to learn Latin, was compelled to remain in the lower form, with little pink-faced fellows; a giant amongst them, with his downcast, stupefied look, his dog-eared primer, and his corduroys.


They sewed up those corduroys, tight as they were.


They upset buckets and benches, so that he might break his shins over them, which he never failed to do.

They left buckets for him to break his shins over.


They sent him parcels, which, when opened, were found to contain the paternal soap and candles.


There was no little fellow but had his jeer and joke at Dobbin; and he bore everything quite patiently, and was entirely dumb and miserable.

Dobbin bore everything patiently, and was entirely dumb and miserable.


Cuff, on the contrary, was the great chief and dandy of the Swishtail Seminary.

Cuff, on the contrary, was the great chief and dandy of the Swishtail School.


Ponies used to come for him to ride home on Saturdays.

Ponies were brought for him to ride home on Saturdays.


He had his top-boots in his room, in which he used to hunt in the holidays.


He had a gold repeater: and took snuff like the Doctor.

He had a gold repeater watch: and took snuff like the Doctor.


He had been to the Opera, and knew the merits of the principal actors, preferring Mr. Kean to Mr. Kemble.


He could knock you off forty Latin verses in an hour.


What else didn't he know, or couldn't he do?


They said even the Doctor himself was afraid of him.


Cuff, the unquestioned king of the school, ruled over his subjects, and bullied them, with splendid superiority.

Cuff, the unquestioned king of the school, ruled over his subjects, and bullied them with splendid superiority.


This one blacked his shoes: that toasted his bread, others would fag out, and give him balls at cricket during whole summer afternoons.

They blacked his shoes, toasted his bread, and gave him balls at cricket during whole summer afternoons.


"Figs" was the fellow whom he despised most, and with whom, though always abusing him, and sneering at him, he scarcely ever condescended to hold personal communication.

Dobbin, or "Figs," was the fellow whom he despised most, although he scarcely ever condescended to speak to him.


One day in private, the two young gentlemen had had a difference.


Figs, alone in the schoolroom, was blundering over a home letter; when Cuff, entering, bade him go upon some message, of which tarts were probably the subject.

One day, Dobbin, alone in the schoolroom, was blundering over a letter home; when Cuff, entering, bade him go upon some errand.


"I can't," says Dobbin; "I want to finish my letter."


says Mr. Cuff, laying hold of that document (in which many words were scratched out, many were mis-spelt, on which had been spent I don't know how much thought, and labour, and tears; for the poor fellow was writing to his mother, who was fond of him, although she was a grocer's wife, and lived in a back parlour in Thames Street).

says Mr. Cuff, picking up the letter (in which many words were scratched out or mis-spelt, with much labour and tears; for the poor fellow was writing to his mother, who was fond of him, although she was a grocer's wife.)


says Mr. Cuff: "I should like to know why, pray?


Can't you write to old Mother Figs to-morrow?"

"Can't you write to old Mother Figs tomorrow?"


"Don't call names," Dobbin said, getting off the bench very nervous.


"Put down the letter," Dobbin replied; "no gentleman readth letterth."


Don't strike, or I'll THMASH you," roars out Dobbin, springing to a leaden inkstand, and looking so wicked, that Mr. Cuff paused, turned down his coat sleeves again, put his hands into his pockets, and walked away with a sneer.

Don't strike me, or I'll THMASH you," roars out Dobbin, looking so wicked that Mr. Cuff paused, put his hands into his pockets, and walked away with a sneer.


But he never meddled personally with the grocer's boy after that; though we must do him the justice to say he always spoke of Mr. Dobbin with contempt behind his back.

But he never meddled with the grocer's boy after that; though he spoke of Dobbin with contempt behind his back.


Some time after this interview, it happened that Mr. Cuff, on a sunshiny afternoon, was in the neighbourhood of poor William Dobbin, who was lying under a tree in the playground, spelling over a favourite copy of the Arabian Nights which he had apart from the rest of the school, who were pursuing their various sports--quite lonely, and almost happy.

Some time after this, it happened that Mr. Cuff, on a sunshiny afternoon, was near poor William Dobbin, who was lying under a tree in the playground, looking at a favourite copy of the Arabian Nights while the rest of the school were pursuing various sports. He was quite lonely, and almost happy.


If people would but leave children to themselves; if teachers would cease to bully them; if parents would not insist upon directing their thoughts, and dominating their feelings--those feelings and thoughts which are a mystery to all (for how much do you and I know of each other, of our children, of our fathers, of our neighbour, and how far more beautiful and sacred are the thoughts of the poor lad or girl whom you govern likely to be, than those of the dull and world-corrupted person who rules him?)


--if, I say, parents and masters would leave their children alone a little more, small harm would accrue, although a less quantity of as in praesenti might be acquired.


Well, William Dobbin had for once forgotten the world, and was away with Sindbad the Sailor in the Valley of Diamonds, or with Prince Ahmed and the Fairy Peribanou in that delightful cavern where the Prince found her, and whither we should all like to make a tour; when shrill cries, as of a little fellow weeping, woke up his pleasant reverie; and looking up, he saw Cuff before him, belabouring a little boy.

He had for once forgotten the world, and was away with Sinbad the Sailor, when the shrill cries of a little fellow weeping woke up his pleasant reverie. Looking up, he saw Cuff belabouring a little boy.


It was the lad who had peached upon him about the grocer's cart; but he bore little malice, not at least towards the young and small.

It was the lad who had told about the grocer's cart; but Dobbin bore no malice towards the young and small.


says Cuff to the little urchin, swinging a yellow cricket-stump over him.

says Cuff to the urchin, swinging a cricket-stump at him.


The boy had been instructed to get over the playground wall (at a selected spot where the broken glass had been removed from the top, and niches made convenient in the brick); to run a quarter of a mile; to purchase a pint of rum-shrub on credit; to brave all the Doctor's outlying spies, and to clamber back into the playground again; during the performance of which feat, his foot had slipt, and the bottle was broken, and the shrub had been spilt, and his pantaloons had been damaged, and he appeared before his employer a perfectly guilty and trembling, though harmless, wretch.

The boy had been instructed to get over the playground wall; to run a quarter of a mile; to purchase a pint of rum-shrub on credit; to brave all the Doctor's spies, and clamber back into the playground again. His foot had slipped, and the bottle was broken, and he stood guilty and trembling.


says Cuff; "you blundering little thief.


You drank the shrub, and now you pretend to have broken the bottle.

You drank it, and now you pretend to have broken the bottle.


Down came the stump with a great heavy thump on the child's hand.

Down came the stump with a great thump on the child's hand.


The Fairy Peribanou had fled into the inmost cavern with Prince Ahmed: the Roc had whisked away Sindbad the Sailor out of the Valley of Diamonds out of sight, far into the clouds: and there was everyday life before honest William; and a big boy beating a little one without cause.

: the Roc whisked away Sinbad the Sailor out of sight, and there was everyday life; a big boy beating a little one without cause.


"Hold out your other hand, sir," roars Cuff to his little schoolfellow, whose face was distorted with pain.


Dobbin quivered, and gathered himself up in his narrow old clothes.

Dobbin quivered, and gathered himself up.


cried Mr. Cuff, and down came the wicket again on the child's hand.--Don't be horrified, ladies, every boy at a public school has done it.


Your children will so do and be done by, in all probability.


Down came the wicket again; and Dobbin started up.


Torture in a public school is as much licensed as the knout in Russia.


It would be ungentlemanlike (in a manner) to resist it.


Perhaps Dobbin's foolish soul revolted against that exercise of tyranny; or perhaps he had a hankering feeling of revenge in his mind, and longed to measure himself against that splendid bully and tyrant, who had all the glory, pride, pomp, circumstance, banners flying, drums beating, guards saluting, in the place.


Whatever may have been his incentive, however, up he sprang, and screamed out, "Hold off, Cuff; don't bully that child any more; or I'll--"

 sprang up, and screamed out,
"Hold off, Cuff; don't bully that child any more; or I'll-"


Cuff asked in amazement at this interruption.


"I'll give you the worst thrashing you ever had in your life," Dobbin said, in reply to the first part of Cuff's sentence; and little Osborne, gasping and in tears, looked up with wonder and incredulity at seeing this amazing champion put up suddenly to defend him: while Cuff's astonishment was scarcely less.

"I'll give you the worst thrashing you ever had in your life," Dobbin said; and little Osborne, gasping and in tears, looked up with wonder at seeing this amazing champion put up suddenly to defend him. Cuff's astonishment was scarcely less.


Fancy our late monarch George III when he heard of the revolt of the North American colonies: fancy brazen Goliath when little David stepped forward and claimed a meeting; and you have the feelings of Mr. Reginald Cuff when this rencontre was proposed to him.


"After school," says he, of course; after a pause and a look, as much as to say, "Make your will, and communicate your last wishes to your friends between this time and that."


"You must be my bottle holder, Osborne."


"Well, if you like," little Osborne replied; for you see his papa kept a carriage, and he was rather ashamed of his champion.

"Well, if you like," little Osborne replied; for he was rather ashamed of his champion.


Yes, when the hour of battle came, he was almost ashamed to say, "Go it, Figs"; and not a single other boy in the place uttered that cry for the first two or three rounds of this famous combat; at the commencement of which the scientific Cuff, with a contemptuous smile on his face, and as light and as gay as if he was at a ball, planted his blows upon his adversary, and floored that unlucky champion three times running.

Yes, when the hour of battle came, he was almost ashamed to say, "Go it, Figs"; and not a single other boy uttered that cry for the first two or three rounds of the fight. At its start, Cuff, with a contemptuous smile on his face, planted blows upon his adversary and floored him three times running.


At each fall there was a cheer; and everybody was anxious to have the honour of offering the conqueror a knee.


"What a licking I shall get when it's over," young Osborne thought, picking up his man.

"What a beating I shall get when it's over," young Osborne thought, picking up his man.


"You'd best give in," he said to Dobbin; "it's only a thrashing, Figs, and you know I'm used to it."


But Figs, all whose limbs were in a quiver, and whose nostrils were breathing rage, put his little bottle-holder aside, and went in for a fourth time.

But Figs, whose limbs were in a quiver, and whose nostrils were breathing rage, put his little bottle-holder aside, and went in for a fourth time.


As he did not in the least know how to parry the blows that were aimed at himself, and Cuff had begun the attack on the three preceding occasions, without ever allowing his enemy to strike, Figs now determined that he would commence the engagement by a charge on his own part; and accordingly, being a left-handed man, brought that arm into action, and hit out a couple of times with all his might--once at Mr. Cuff's left eye, and once on his beautiful Roman nose.

As he did not know how to parry Cuff's blows, Figs now determined that he would start with a charge on his own part; and accordingly, being a left-handed man, hit out a couple of times with all his might - once at Mr. Cuff's left eye, and once on his beautiful Roman nose.


Cuff went down this time, to the astonishment of the assembly.

Cuff went down this time, to the astonishment of all.


"Well hit, by Jove," says little Osborne, with the air of a connoisseur, clapping his man on the back.


"Give it him with the left, Figs my boy."


Figs's left made terrific play during all the rest of the combat.

Figs's left made terrific play during all the rest of the fight.


At the sixth round, there were almost as many fellows shouting out, "Go it, Figs," as there were youths exclaiming, "Go it, Cuff."

At the sixth round, there were almost as many fellows shouting for Figs as for Cuff.


At the twelfth round the latter champion was all abroad, as the saying is, and had lost all presence of mind and power of attack or defence.

At the twelfth round Cuff lost all presence of mind and power of attack.


Figs, on the contrary, was as calm as a quaker.


His face being quite pale, his eyes shining open, and a great cut on his underlip bleeding profusely, gave this young fellow a fierce and ghastly air, which perhaps struck terror into many spectators.

and pale, his eyes shining open, and a great cut on his underlip bleeding profusely. He had a fierce and ghastly air, which struck terror into many spectators.


Nevertheless, his intrepid adversary prepared to close for the thirteenth time.

Nevertheless, Cuff prepared to close for the thirteenth time


If I had the pen of a Napier, or a Bell's Life, I should like to describe this combat properly.


It was the last charge of the Guard--(that is, it would have been, only Waterloo had not yet taken place)--it was Ney's column breasting the hill of La Haye Sainte, bristling with ten thousand bayonets, and crowned with twenty eagles--it was the shout of the beef-eating British, as leaping down the hill they rushed to hug the enemy in the savage arms of battle--in other words, Cuff coming up full of pluck, but quite reeling and groggy, the Fig-merchant put in his left as usual on his adversary's nose, and sent him down for the last time.

; coming up full of pluck, but reeling and groggy. The Fig-merchant put in his left on his adversary's nose, and sent him down for the last time.


"I think that will do for him," Figs said, as his opponent dropped as neatly on the green as I have seen Jack Spot's ball plump into the pocket at billiards; and the fact is, when time was called, Mr. Reginald Cuff was not able, or did not choose, to stand up again.

"I think that will do," Figs said, as his opponent dropped neatly on the green, and did not stand up again.


And now all the boys set up such a shout for Figs as would have made you think he had been their darling champion through the whole battle; and as absolutely brought Dr. Swishtail out of his study, curious to know the cause of the uproar.

And now all the boys set up such a shout for Figs as brought Dr. Swishtail out of his study, curious to know the cause of the uproar.


He threatened to flog Figs violently, of course; but Cuff, who had come to himself by this time, and was washing his wounds, stood up and said, "It's my fault, sir--not Figs'--not Dobbin's.

He threatened to flog Figs; but Cuff, who had come to himself by this time, stood up and said, "It's my fault, sir - not Dobbin's.


I was bullying a little boy; and he served me right."


By which magnanimous speech he not only saved his conqueror a whipping, but got back all his ascendancy over the boys which his defeat had nearly cost him.

By this magnanimous speech he not only saved his conqueror a whipping, but got back all his ascendancy over the boys.


Young Osborne wrote home to his parents an account of the transaction.

Young Osborne wrote home to his parents.


I should be much obliged to you to send me a cake and five shillings.


There has been a fight here between Cuff & Dobbin.


Cuff, you know, was the Cock of the School.


They fought thirteen rounds, and Dobbin Licked.


Cuff was licking me for breaking a bottle of milk, and Figs wouldn't stand it.


We call him Figs because his father is a Grocer--Figs & Rudge, Thames St., City--I think as he fought for me you ought to buy your Tea & Sugar at his father's.

We call him Figs because his father is a Grocer. I think as he fought for me you ought to buy your Tea & Sugar at his father's.


Cuff goes home every Saturday, but can't this, because he has 2 Black Eyes.

Cuff goes home every Saturday, but can't this week, because he has 2 Black Eyes.


He has a white Pony to come and fetch him, and a groom in livery on a bay mare.

He has a white Pony to come and fetch him, and a groom on a bay mare.


I wish my Papa would let me have a Pony, and I am


I am cutting her out a Coach in cardboard.


Please not a seed-cake, but a plum-cake.


In consequence of Dobbin's victory, his character rose prodigiously in the estimation of all his schoolfellows, and the name of Figs, which had been a byword of reproach, became as respectable and popular a nickname as any other in use in the school.

After Dobbin's victory, his character rose greatly in the eyes of all his schoolfellows, and the name of Figs became as respectable a nickname as any other in the school.


"After all, it's not his fault that his father's a grocer," George Osborne said, who, though a little chap, had a very high popularity among the Swishtail youth; and his opinion was received with great applause.

"After all, it's not his fault that his father's a grocer," George Osborne said, who, though a little chap, was popular.


It was voted low to sneer at Dobbin about this accident of birth.


"Old Figs" grew to be a name of kindness and endearment; and the sneak of an usher jeered at him no longer.


And Dobbin's spirit rose with his altered circumstances.


He made wonderful advances in scholastic learning.


The superb Cuff himself, at whose condescension Dobbin could only blush and wonder, helped him on with his Latin verses; "coached" him in play-hours: carried him triumphantly out of the little-boy class into the middle-sized form; and even there got a fair place for him.

The superb Cuff himself helped him with his Latin verses, "coached" him in play-hours, and carried him triumphantly into the middle form.


It was discovered, that although dull at classical learning, at mathematics he was uncommonly quick.

It was discovered that although dull at classical learning, at mathematics he was uncommonly quick.


To the contentment of all he passed third in algebra, and got a French prize-book at the public Midsummer examination.

He passed third in algebra, and got presented with a prize-book before the whole school.


You should have seen his mother's face when Telemaque (that delicious romance) was presented to him by the Doctor in the face of the whole school and the parents and company, with an inscription to Gulielmo Dobbin.

All the boys clapped, despite his blushes and stumbles; you should have seen his mother's face.


All the boys clapped hands in token of applause and sympathy.


His blushes, his stumbles, his awkwardness, and the number of feet which he crushed as he went back to his place, who shall describe or calculate?


Old Dobbin, his father, who now respected him for the first time, gave him two guineas publicly; most of which he spent in a general tuck-out for the school: and he came back in a tail-coat after the holidays.

Old Dobbin, his father, who now respected him for the first time, gave him two guineas, most of which he spent in tuck for the school: and he came back in a tail-coat after the holidays.


Dobbin was much too modest a young fellow to suppose that this happy change in all his circumstances arose from his own generous and manly disposition: he chose, from some perverseness, to attribute his good fortune to the sole agency and benevolence of little George Osborne, to whom henceforth he vowed such a love and affection as is only felt by children--such an affection, as we read in the charming fairy-book, uncouth Orson had for splendid young Valentine his conqueror.

Dobbin modestly attributed all his good fortune to little George Osborne, to whom he vowed love and affection.


He flung himself down at little Osborne's feet, and loved him.


Even before they were acquainted, he had admired Osborne in secret.


Now he was his valet, his dog, his man Friday.

He was his valet, his dog, his man Friday.


He believed Osborne to be the possessor of every perfection, to be the handsomest, the bravest, the most active, the cleverest, the most generous of created boys.

He believed Osborne to be perfect in every way, the handsomest, the bravest, the cleverest, the most generous of boys.


He shared his money with him: bought him uncountable presents of knives, pencil-cases, gold seals, toffee, Little Warblers, and romantic books, with large coloured pictures of knights and robbers, in many of which latter you might read inscriptions to George Sedley Osborne, Esquire, from his attached friend William Dobbin--the which tokens of homage George received very graciously, as became his superior merit.

He shared his money with him: bought him presents of knives, pencil-cases, toffee, and books - gifts which George received very graciously, as became his superior merit.


So that Lieutenant Osborne, when coming to Russell Square on the day of the Vauxhall party, said to the ladies, "Mrs. Sedley, Ma'am, I hope you have room; I've asked Dobbin of ours to come and dine here, and go with us to Vauxhall.

So Lieutenant Osborne, arriving at Russell Square on the day of the Vauxhall party, said to the ladies, "Mrs. Sedley, Ma'am, I've asked Dobbin of ours to come and dine here, and go with us to Vauxhall.


pooh," said the stout gentleman, casting a vainqueur look at Miss Sharp.


"He is--but you are incomparably more graceful, Sedley," Osborne added, laughing.


"I met him at the Bedford, when I went to look for you; and I told him that Miss Amelia was come home, and that we were all bent on going out for a night's pleasuring; and that Mrs. Sedley had forgiven his breaking the punch-bowl at the child's party.

I met him at the Bedford, and told him that we were all going out; and that Mrs. Sedley had forgiven his breaking the punch-bowl at the child's party.


Don't you remember the catastrophe, Ma'am, seven years ago?"


"Over Mrs. Flamingo's crimson silk gown," said good-natured Mrs. Sedley.


And his sisters are not much more graceful.


Lady Dobbin was at Highbury last night with three of them.


"His father the Alderman's very rich, isn't he?"


"Don't you think one of the daughters would be a good spec for me, Ma'am?"

"Don't you think one of the daughters would be a good match for me, Ma'am?"


Who would take you, I should like to know, with your yellow face?"


Why, he had the yellow fever three times; twice at Nassau, and once at St. Kitts."

He had the yellow fever three times; twice at Nassau, and once at St. Kitts."


"Well, well; yours is quite yellow enough for us.

"Well, yours is quite yellow enough for us.


Mrs. Sedley said: at which speech Miss Amelia only made a smile and a blush; and looking at Mr. George Osborne's pale interesting countenance, and those beautiful black, curling, shining whiskers, which the young gentleman himself regarded with no ordinary complacency, she thought in her little heart that in His Majesty's army, or in the wide world, there never was such a face or such a hero.

Mrs. Sedley said. Amelia only smiled and blushed. Looking at George Osborne's pale, interesting face, and black, curling, shining whiskers, she thought that there never was such a face or such a hero.


"I don't care about Captain Dobbin's complexion," she said, "or about his awkwardness.

"I don't care about Captain Dobbin's complexion," she said, "or his awkwardness.


I shall always like him, I know," her little reason being, that he was the friend and champion of George.

I shall always like him;" her reason being that he was the friend and champion of George.


"There's not a finer fellow in the service," Osborne said, "nor a better officer, though he is not an Adonis, certainly."

"There's not a finer fellow in the army," Osborne said, "nor a better officer, though he is not an Adonis, certainly."


And he looked towards the glass himself with much naivete; and in so doing, caught Miss Sharp's eye fixed keenly upon him, at which he blushed a little, and Rebecca thought in her heart, "Ah, mon beau Monsieur!

And he looked towards the mirror; and caught Miss Sharp's eye fixed keenly upon him, at which he blushed a little.
Rebecca thought, "Ah, mon beau Monsieur!


I think I have YOUR gauge"--the little artful minx!


That evening, when Amelia came tripping into the drawing-room in a white muslin frock, prepared for conquest at Vauxhall, singing like a lark, and as fresh as a rose--a very tall ungainly gentleman, with large hands and feet, and large ears, set off by a closely cropped head of black hair, and in the hideous military frogged coat and cocked hat of those times, advanced to meet her, and made her one of the clumsiest bows that was ever performed by a mortal.

That evening, when Amelia came tripping into the drawing-room in a white muslin frock, singing like a lark, and as fresh as a rose, a very tall ungainly gentleman, with large hands and feet, and large ears, set off by a closely cropped head of black hair, and wearing the hideous military frogged coat and cocked hat of those times, advanced to meet her, with a clumsy bow.


This was no other than Captain William Dobbin, of His Majesty's Regiment of Foot, returned from yellow fever, in the West Indies, to which the fortune of the service had ordered his regiment, whilst so many of his gallant comrades were reaping glory in the Peninsula.

This was Captain William Dobbin, of His Majesty's ___th Regiment of Foot, returned from the West Indies, where his regiment had been ordered whilst many of his gallant comrades were reaping glory in the Peninsula.


He had arrived with a knock so very timid and quiet that it was inaudible to the ladies upstairs: otherwise, you may be sure Miss Amelia would never have been so bold as to come singing into the room.

He had arrived with a knock so timid that it was inaudible to the ladies upstairs: otherwise Amelia would never have come singing into the room.


As it was, the sweet fresh little voice went right into the Captain's heart, and nestled there.


When she held out her hand for him to shake, before he enveloped it in his own, he paused, and thought--"Well, is it possible--are you the little maid I remember in the pink frock, such a short time ago--the night I upset the punch-bowl, just after I was gazetted?

When she held out her hand for him to shake, he paused, and thought, "Are you the little maid I remember in the pink frock, the night I upset the punch-bowl?


Are you the little girl that George Osborne said should marry him?

The little girl that George Osborne said should marry him?


What a blooming young creature you seem, and what a prize the rogue has got!"


All this he thought, before he took Amelia's hand into his own, and as he let his cocked hat fall.

All this he thought, before he took Amelia's hand.


His history since he left school, until the very moment when we have the pleasure of meeting him again, although not fully narrated, has yet, I think, been indicated sufficiently for an ingenious reader by the conversation in the last page.

His history since he left school, has, I think, been indicated sufficiently for an ingenious reader.


Dobbin, the despised grocer, was Alderman Dobbin--Alderman Dobbin was Colonel of the City Light Horse, then burning with military ardour to resist the French Invasion.

His father, the despised grocer, became Alderman Dobbin, and was then


Colonel Dobbin's corps, in which old Mr. Osborne himself was but an indifferent corporal, had been reviewed by the Sovereign and the Duke of York; and the colonel and alderman had been knighted.


His son had entered the army: and young Osborne followed presently in the same regiment.

The son had entered the army: and young Osborne followed in the same regiment.


They had served in the West Indies and in Canada.


Their regiment had just come home, and the attachment of Dobbin to George Osborne was as warm and generous now as it had been when the two were schoolboys.

Dobbin's attachment to George Osborne was as warm now as it had been at school.


So these worthy people sat down to dinner presently.


They talked about war and glory, and Boney and Lord Wellington, and the last Gazette.

, and talked about war and glory, and Boney and Lord Wellington, and the last military Gazette.


In those famous days every gazette had a victory in it, and the two gallant young men longed to see their own names in the glorious list, and cursed their unlucky fate to belong to a regiment which had been away from the chances of honour.

The two gallant young men longed to see their own names in that glorious list, and cursed their unlucky fate in belonging to a regiment which had been away from battle.


Miss Sharp kindled with this exciting talk, but Miss Sedley trembled and grew quite faint as she heard it.

Miss Sharp kindled with this exciting talk, but Miss Sedley trembled and grew quite faint.


Mr. Jos told several of his tiger-hunting stories, finished the one about Miss Cutler and Lance the surgeon; helped Rebecca to everything on the table, and himself gobbled and drank a great deal.

Mr. Jos told several of his tiger-hunting stories, finished with the one about Miss Cutler and Lance the surgeon; helped Rebecca to everything on the table, and gobbled and drank a great deal.


He sprang to open the door for the ladies, when they retired, with the most killing grace--and coming back to the table, filled himself bumper after bumper of claret, which he swallowed with nervous rapidity.

He sprang to open the door for the ladies, when they retired; and returning to the table, filled bumper after bumper of claret, which he swallowed with nervous rapidity.


"He's priming himself," Osborne whispered to Dobbin, and at length the hour and the carriage arrived for Vauxhall.


It was one of the many causes for personal pride with which old Osborne chose to recreate himself that Sedley, his ancient rival, enemy, and benefactor, was in his last days so utterly defeated and humiliated as to be forced to accept pecuniary obligations at the hands of the man who had most injured and insulted him.

Old Osborne was proud of the fact that Sedley, his enemy and benefactor, was so utterly defeated as to be forced to accept financial help from the man who had insulted him.


The successful man of the world cursed the old pauper and relieved him from time to time.

Osborne cursed the old pauper and relieved him from time to time.


As he furnished George with money for his mother, he gave the boy to understand by hints, delivered in his brutal, coarse way, that George's maternal grandfather was but a wretched old bankrupt and dependant, and that John Sedley might thank the man to whom he already owed ever so much money for the aid which his generosity now chose to administer.

And in his brutal, coarse way, he gave the boy to understand that John Sedley was a wretched old bankrupt who was indebted to his generosity.


George carried the pompous supplies to his mother and the shattered old widower whom it was now the main business of her life to tend and comfort.

George carried the money to Amelia and her father, and


The little fellow patronized the feeble and disappointed old man.


It may have shown a want of "proper pride" in Amelia that she chose to accept these money benefits at the hands of her father's enemy.

It may have shown a want of "proper pride" in Amelia that she chose to accept money from her father's enemy.


But proper pride and this poor lady had never had much acquaintance together.

But proper pride and this poor lady had never had much acquaintance.


A disposition naturally simple and demanding protection; a long course of poverty and humility, of daily privations, and hard words, of kind offices and no returns, had been her lot ever since womanhood almost, or since her luckless marriage with George Osborne.

A long course of poverty and hard words, of kind acts and no returns, had been her lot.


You who see your betters bearing up under this shame every day, meekly suffering under the slights of fortune, gentle and unpitied, poor, and rather despised for their poverty, do you ever step down from your prosperity and wash the feet of these poor wearied beggars?

You who see your betters bearing up under this shame every day, meekly suffering, and despised for their poverty, do you ever step down from your prosperity and wash the feet of these poor weary beggars?


The very thought of them is odious and low.


"There must be classes--there must be rich and poor," Dives says, smacking his claret (it is well if he even sends the broken meat out to Lazarus sitting under the window).


Very true; but think how mysterious and often unaccountable it is--that lottery of life which gives to this man the purple and fine linen and sends to the other rags for garments and dogs for comforters.

How mysterious and unaccountable is that lottery of life which gives to one man fine clothes and riches and sends another rags.


So I must own that, without much repining, on the contrary with something akin to gratitude, Amelia took the crumbs that her father-in-law let drop now and then, and with them fed her own parent.

So Amelia gratefully took the crumbs that her father-in-law let drop, and with them fed her own parent.


Directly she understood it to be her duty, it was this young woman's nature (ladies, she is but thirty still, and we choose to call her a young woman even at that age) it was, I say, her nature to sacrifice herself and to fling all that she had at the feet of the beloved object.

It was her nature to sacrifice herself for the beloved object.


During what long thankless nights had she worked out her fingers for little Georgy whilst at home with her; what buffets, scorns, privations, poverties had she endured for father and mother!

During what long thankless nights had she worked out her fingers for little Georgy; what scorns and privations had she endured for father and mother!


And in the midst of all these solitary resignations and unseen sacrifices, she did not respect herself any more than the world respected her, but I believe thought in her heart that she was a poor-spirited, despicable little creature, whose luck in life was only too good for her merits.

And in the midst of all these unseen sacrifices, she did not respect herself, but thought herself a poor-spirited, despicable little creature, who did not deserve any good fortune.


O you poor secret martyrs and victims, whose life is a torture, who are stretched on racks in your bedrooms, and who lay your heads down on the block daily at the drawing-room table; every man who watches your pains, or peers into those dark places where the torture is administered to you, must pity you--and--and thank God that he has a beard.

O you poor secret martyrs and victims, whose life is a torture, who lay your heads down on the block daily at the drawing-room table; every man who watches your pains must pity you - and thank God that he has a beard.


I recollect seeing, years ago, at the prisons for idiots and madmen at Bicetre, near Paris, a poor wretch bent down under the bondage of his imprisonment and his personal infirmity, to whom one of our party gave a halfpenny worth of snuff in a cornet or "screw" of paper.


The kindness was too much for the poor epileptic creature.


He cried in an anguish of delight and gratitude: if anybody gave you and me a thousand a year, or saved our lives, we could not be so affected.


And so, if you properly tyrannize over a woman, you will find a ha'p'orth of kindness act upon her and bring tears into her eyes, as though you were an angel benefiting her.

If you properly tyrannize over a woman, you will find a hap'orth of kindness will bring tears into her eyes, as though you were an angel.


Some such boons as these were the best which Fortune allotted to poor little Amelia.


Her life, begun not unprosperously, had come down to this--to a mean prison and a long, ignoble bondage.

Amelia's life had come down to this - to a mean prison and a long, ignoble bondage.


Little George visited her captivity sometimes and consoled it with feeble gleams of encouragement.

Little George visited her captivity sometimes and consoled it.


Russell Square was the boundary of her prison: she might walk thither occasionally, but was always back to sleep in her cell at night; to perform cheerless duties; to watch by thankless sick-beds; to suffer the harassment and tyranny of querulous disappointed old age.

Russell Square was the boundary of her prison: she might walk there occasionally, but was always back in her cell at night, to watch by the thankless sick-beds of tyrannous old age.


How many thousands of people are there, women for the most part, who are doomed to endure this long slavery?--who are hospital nurses without wages--sisters of Charity, if you like, without the romance and the sentiment of sacrifice--who strive, fast, watch, and suffer, unpitied, and fade away ignobly and unknown.

How many thousands of people, women for the most part, are doomed to endure this long slavery? - hospital nurses without wages, who strive, watch, and suffer, unpitied, and fade away unknown.


The hidden and awful Wisdom which apportions the destinies of mankind is pleased so to humiliate and cast down the tender, good, and wise, and to set up the selfish, the foolish, or the wicked.


Oh, be humble, my brother, in your prosperity!


Be gentle with those who are less lucky, if not more deserving.


Think, what right have you to be scornful, whose virtue is a deficiency of temptation, whose success may be a chance, whose rank may be an ancestor's accident, whose prosperity is very likely a satire.

Think what right have you to be scornful, whose virtue is a lack of temptation, whose success may be chance, whose rank is an ancestor's accident.


They buried Amelia's mother in the churchyard at Brompton, upon just such a rainy, dark day as Amelia recollected when first she had been there to marry George.

They buried Amelia's mother in the churchyard at Brompton, upon just such a rainy, dark day as when Amelia married George.


Her little boy sat by her side in pompous new sables.

Her little boy sat by her side in pompous new furs.


She remembered the old pew-woman and clerk.


Her thoughts were away in other times as the parson read.


But that she held George's hand in her own, perhaps she would have liked to change places with.... Then, as usual, she felt ashamed of her selfish thoughts and prayed inwardly to be strengthened to do her duty.

Except that she held George's hand, perhaps she would have liked to change places with.... Then she felt ashamed of her selfish thoughts and prayed to be strengthened to do her duty.


So she determined with all her might and strength to try and make her old father happy.

So she determined to try and make her old father happy.


She slaved, toiled, patched, and mended, sang and played backgammon, read out the newspaper, cooked dishes for old Sedley, walked him out sedulously into Kensington Gardens or the Brompton Lanes, listened to his stories with untiring smiles and affectionate hypocrisy, or sat musing by his side and communing with her own thoughts and reminiscences, as the old man, feeble and querulous, sunned himself on the garden benches and prattled about his wrongs or his sorrows.

She slaved, toiled, patched and mended, sang and played backgammon, read out the newspaper, cooked for old Sedley, walked out with him, listened to his stories with untiring smiles, or sat musing by his side as the querulous old man prattled about his wrongs.


What sad, unsatisfactory thoughts those of the widow were!


The children running up and down the slopes and broad paths in the gardens reminded her of George, who was taken from her; the first George was taken from her; her selfish, guilty love, in both instances, had been rebuked and bitterly chastised.

The children running up and down in the gardens reminded her of George, taken from her like the first George. Her selfish, guilty love, in both instances, had been rebuked and bitterly chastised.


She strove to think it was right that she should be so punished.


I know that the account of this kind of solitary imprisonment is insufferably tedious, unless there is some cheerful or humorous incident to enliven it--a tender gaoler, for instance, or a waggish commandant of the fortress, or a mouse to come out and play about Latude's beard and whiskers, or a subterranean passage under the castle, dug by Trenck with his nails and a toothpick: the historian has no such enlivening incident to relate in the narrative of Amelia's captivity.

I know that the account of this kind of solitary imprisonment is insufferably tedious, unless there is some cheerful incident to enliven it - a tender gaoler, for instance, or a mouse come out to play, or a tunnel under the castle, dug by a toothpick; but Amelia's captivity had no such incident.


Fancy her, if you please, during this period, very sad, but always ready to smile when spoken to; in a very mean, poor, not to say vulgar position of life; singing songs, making puddings, playing cards, mending stockings, for her old father's benefit.

Though very sad, she was always ready to smile when spoken to; singing songs, making puddings, playing cards, mending stockings, for her old father's benefit.


So, never mind, whether she be a heroine or no; or you and I, however old, scolding, and bankrupt--may we have in our last days a kind soft shoulder on which to lean and a gentle hand to soothe our gouty old pillows.

May we have in our last days a kind soft shoulder on which to lean and a gentle hand to soothe our pillows.


Old Sedley grew very fond of his daughter after his wife's death, and Amelia had her consolation in doing her duty by the old man.

Old Sedley grew very fond of his daughter after his wife's death, and Amelia had her consolation in doing her duty by him.


But we are not going to leave these two people long in such a low and ungenteel station of life.


Better days, as far as worldly prosperity went, were in store for both.


Perhaps the ingenious reader has guessed who was the stout gentleman who called upon Georgy at his school in company with our old friend Major Dobbin.

Perhaps the ingenious reader has guessed who was the stout gentleman who called upon Georgy with Major Dobbin.


It was another old acquaintance returned to England, and at a time when his presence was likely to be of great comfort to his relatives there.


Major Dobbin having easily succeeded in getting leave from his good-natured commandant to proceed to Madras, and thence probably to Europe, on urgent private affairs, never ceased travelling night and day until he reached his journey's end, and had directed his march with such celerity that he arrived at Madras in a high fever.

The Major had easily succeeded in getting leave to go to Madras, and from there to Europe, on urgent private affairs, and had travelled so quickly that he arrived at Madras in a high fever.


His servants who accompanied him brought him to the house of the friend with whom he had resolved to stay until his departure for Europe in a state of delirium; and it was thought for many, many days that he would never travel farther than the burying-ground of the church of St. George's, where the troops should fire a salvo over his grave, and where many a gallant officer lies far away from his home.

His servants brought him to a friend's house in a state of delirium; and it was thought for many days that he would never travel farther than the grave-yard.


Here, as the poor fellow lay tossing in his fever, the people who watched him might have heard him raving about Amelia.

Here, as the poor fellow lay tossing in his fever, you might have heard him raving about Amelia.


The idea that he should never see her again depressed him in his lucid hours.


He thought his last day was come, and he made his solemn preparations for departure, setting his affairs in this world in order and leaving the little property of which he was possessed to those whom he most desired to benefit.

, he thought his last day was come, and made solemn preparations for departure, leaving his little property to those whom he most desired to benefit.


The friend in whose house he was located witnessed his testament.

The friend in whose house he was staying witnessed his will.


He desired to be buried with a little brown hair-chain which he wore round his neck and which, if the truth must be known, he had got from Amelia's maid at Brussels, when the young widow's hair was cut off, during the fever which prostrated her after the death of George Osborne on the plateau at Mount St. John.

The Major desired to be buried with a little brown hair-chain which he wore round his neck and which he had got from Amelia's maid at Brussels, when the young widow's hair was cut off during her illness after her husband's death.


He recovered, rallied, relapsed again, having undergone such a process of blood-letting and calomel as showed the strength of his original constitution.

He recovered, rallied, and relapsed again.


He was almost a skeleton when they put him on board the Ramchunder East Indiaman, Captain Bragg, from Calcutta, touching at Madras, and so weak and prostrate that his friend who had tended him through his illness prophesied that the honest Major would never survive the voyage, and that he would pass some morning, shrouded in flag and hammock, over the ship's side, and carrying down to the sea with him the relic that he wore at his heart.

He was almost a skeleton when they put him on board the East Indiaman ship, and so weak that the friend who had tended him through his illness thought that the honest Major would never survive the voyage.


But whether it was the sea air, or the hope which sprung up in him afresh, from the day that the ship spread her canvas and stood out of the roads towards home, our friend began to amend, and he was quite well (though as gaunt as a greyhound) before they reached the Cape.

But whether it was the sea air, or the hope which sprung up in him afresh, from the day that the ship spread her sails and set out towards home, Dobbin began to amend, and he was quite well (though as gaunt as a greyhound) before they reached the Cape.


"Kirk will be disappointed of his majority this time," he said with a smile; "he will expect to find himself gazetted by the time the regiment reaches home."


For it must be premised that while the Major was lying ill at Madras, having made such prodigious haste to go thither, the gallant --th, which had passed many years abroad, which after its return from the West Indies had been baulked of its stay at home by the Waterloo campaign, and had been ordered from Flanders to India, had received orders home; and the Major might have accompanied his comrades, had he chosen to wait for their arrival at Madras.


Perhaps he was not inclined to put himself in his exhausted state again under the guardianship of Glorvina.


"I think Miss O'Dowd would have done for me," he said laughingly to a fellow-passenger, "if we had had her on board, and when she had sunk me, she would have fallen upon you, depend upon it, and carried you in as a prize to Southampton, Jos, my boy."

"I think Miss O'Dowd would have done for me if we had her on board," he said laughingly to his companion, "and when she had sunk me, she would have fallen upon you, depend upon it, and carried you as a prize to Southampton, Jos, my boy."


For indeed it was no other than our stout friend who was also a passenger on board the Ramchunder.

For indeed it was no other than our stout Jos who was with him.


Constant dinners, tiffins, pale ale and claret, the prodigious labour of cutcherry, and the refreshment of brandy-pawnee which he was forced to take there, had their effect upon Waterloo Sedley.

Constant dinners, tiffins, pale ale and claret had their effect upon Waterloo Sedley.


A voyage to Europe was pronounced necessary for him--and having served his full time in India and had fine appointments which had enabled him to lay by a considerable sum of money, he was free to come home and stay with a good pension, or to return and resume that rank in the service to which his seniority and his vast talents entitled him.

A voyage to Europe was pronounced necessary for his health - and having served his full time in India and laid by a considerable sum of money, he was free to come home and stay with a good pension, or to return and resume a high rank in the service.


He was rather thinner than when we last saw him, but had gained in majesty and solemnity of demeanour.

He was rather thinner than when we last saw him, but had gained in majesty.


He had resumed the mustachios to which his services at Waterloo entitled him, and swaggered about on deck in a magnificent velvet cap with a gold band and a profuse ornamentation of pins and jewellery about his person.

He swaggered about on deck in a magnificent velvet cap with a gold band and a profusion of jewellery.


He took breakfast in his cabin and dressed as solemnly to appear on the quarter-deck as if he were going to turn out for Bond Street, or the Course at Calcutta.


He brought a native servant with him, who was his valet and pipe-bearer and who wore the Sedley crest in silver on his turban.

He brought a native servant who wore the Sedley crest in silver on his turban.


That oriental menial had a wretched life under the tyranny of Jos Sedley.


Jos was as vain of his person as a woman, and took as long a time at his toilette as any fading beauty.


The youngsters among the passengers, Young Chaffers of the 150th, and poor little Ricketts, coming home after his third fever, used to draw out Sedley at the cuddy-table and make him tell prodigious stories about himself and his exploits against tigers and Napoleon.

The young soldiers among the passengers used to draw out Sedley and make him tell prodigious stories about himself and his exploits against tigers and Napoleon.


He was great when he visited the Emperor's tomb at Longwood, when to these gentlemen and the young officers of the ship, Major Dobbin not being by, he described the whole battle of Waterloo and all but announced that Napoleon never would have gone to Saint Helena at all but for him, Jos Sedley.

When they passed Saint Helena, Major Dobbin not being nearby, Jos described the battle of Waterloo and implied that Napoleon never would have gone to Saint Helena but for Jos Sedley.


After leaving St. Helena he became very generous, disposing of a great quantity of ship stores, claret, preserved meats, and great casks packed with soda-water, brought out for his private delectation.

After leaving St. Helena, he disposed of a great quantity of claret, preserved meats, and soda-water.


There were no ladies on board; the Major gave the pas of precedency to the civilian, so that he was the first dignitary at table, and treated by Captain Bragg and the officers of the Ramchunder with the respect which his rank warranted.


He disappeared rather in a panic during a two-days' gale, in which he had the portholes of his cabin battened down, and remained in his cot reading the Washerwoman of Finchley Common, left on board the Ramchunder by the Right Honourable the Lady Emily Hornblower, wife of the Rev. Silas Hornblower, when on their passage out to the Cape, where the Reverend gentleman was a missionary; but, for common reading, he had brought a stock of novels and plays which he lent to the rest of the ship, and rendered himself agreeable to all by his kindness and condescension.

He disappeared in a panic during a two-days' gale, in which he had the portholes of his cabin battened down; but in general he made himself agreeable to all by his kindness and condescension.


Many and many a night as the ship was cutting through the roaring dark sea, the moon and stars shining overhead and the bell singing out the watch, Mr. Sedley and the Major would sit on the quarter-deck of the vessel talking about home, as the Major smoked his cheroot and the civilian puffed at the hookah which his servant prepared for him.

Many a night as the ship was cutting through the roaring dark sea, the moon shining overhead and the bell singing out the watch, Mr. Sedley and the Major would sit on the quarter-deck talking and smoking.


In these conversations it was wonderful with what perseverance and ingenuity Major Dobbin would manage to bring the talk round to the subject of Amelia and her little boy.

Major Dobbin would manage to bring the talk round to the subject of Amelia and her son.


Jos, a little testy about his father's misfortunes and unceremonious applications to him, was soothed down by the Major, who pointed out the elder's ill fortunes and old age.

Jos, a little testy about his father's applications for money, was soothed by the Major, who pointed out the elder's ill fortunes.