If he would only have brushed up his hair or turned up his collar, it would have been bad enough; but to know that that absurd figure was always gazing at me, and always in that demonstrative state of despondency, put such a constraint upon me that I did not like to laugh at the play, or to cry at it, or to move, or to speak. 
To know that he was always gazing at me in despondency put such a constraint upon me that I did not like to laugh at the play, or move, or speak. 