It is only by remembering the searching anguish which had changed the aspect of the world for her that we can understand her behavior to Deronda--the unreflecting openness, nay, the importunate pleading, with which she expressed her dependence on him. 
It is only by remembering her life-changing anguish that we can understand her behaviour to Deronda - the unreflecting openness, the pleading, with which she expressed her dependence on him. 