You must know, my uncle _Toby_ mistook the bridge--as widely as my father mistook the mortars; ----but to understand how my uncle _Toby_ could mistake the bridge --I fear I must give you an exact account of the road which led to it; --or to drop my metaphor (for there is nothing more dishonest in an historian than the use of one)----in order to conceive the probability of this error in my uncle _Toby_ aright, I must give you some account of an adventure of _Trim's_, though much against my will, I say much against my will, only because the story, in one sense, is certainly out of its place here; for by right it should come in, either amongst the anecdotes of my uncle _Toby's_ amours with widow _Wadman_, in which corporal _Trim_ was no mean actor--or else in the middle of his and my uncle _Toby's_ campaigns on the bowling-green--for it will do very well in either place; --but then if I reserve it for either of those parts of my story ----I ruin the story I'm upon; ----and if I tell it here --I anticipate matters, and ruin it there.

My uncle Toby mistook the bridge as widely as my father mistook the mortars; - but to understand this, I fear I must give you an exact account of the road which led to the mistake; or at least I must give you some account of an adventure of Trim's, though much against my will; I say much against my will, because the story is certainly out of its place here; for by rights it should come either amongst the anecdotes of my uncle Toby's amours with widow Wadman, or else in Trim's and my uncle Toby's campaigns on the bowling-green; but then if I reserve it for either of those parts of my story, I ruin the story I'm upon; - and if I tell it here, I anticipate matters, and ruin it there.
