I think you have been foolish, misguided,--led away by a vain ambition, and that in the difficulty to which these things brought you, you endeavoured to constrain yourself to do an act, which, when it came near to you,--when the doing of it had to be more closely considered, you found to be contrary to your nature." 
I think you have been foolish, misguided - led away by a vain ambition, and that in your difficulty, you tried to force yourself to do something which you then found to be contrary to your nature." 