She had brought on herself this indignity in her own eyes--this humiliation of being doomed to a terrified silence lest her husband should discover with what sort of consciousness she had married him; and as she had said to Deronda, she "must go on." 
She had brought on herself this indignity - this humiliating terror lest her husband should discover with what knowledge she had married him; and as she had said to Deronda, she "must go on." 