The sight of him brought a new nervous shock, and Gwendolen screamed again and again with hysterical violence.


He had expected to see her dressed and smiling, ready to be led down.

Book 4 - GWENDOLEN GETS HER CHOICE | Chapter 31


He saw her pallid, shrieking as it seemed with terror, the jewels scattered around her on the floor.


In some form or other the furies had crossed his threshold.

In some form or other the Furies had crossed his threshold.


"All thoughts, all passions, all delights, Whatever stirs this mortal frame, All are but ministers of Love, And feed his sacred flame."


Deronda's eagerness to confess his love could hardly have had a stronger stimulus than Hans had given it in his assurance that Mirah needed relief from jealousy. He went on his next visit to Ezra with the determination to be resolute in using--nay, in requesting--an opportunity of private conversation with her.

Deronda went on his next visit to Ezra eager to confess his love and determined to request a private conversation with Mirah.


If she accepted his love, he felt courageous about all other consequences, and as her betrothed husband he would gain a protective authority which might be a desirable defense for her in future difficulties with her father.

If she accepted him, he would be able to protect her in any difficulties with her father.


Deronda had not observed any signs of growing restlessness in Lapidoth, or of diminished desire to recommend himself; but he had forebodings of some future struggle, some mortification, or some intolerable increase of domestic disquietude in which he might save Ezra and Mirah from being helpless victims.

Deronda had forebodings of some future struggle in which he might save Ezra and Mirah from being helpless victims.


His forebodings would have been strengthened if he had known what was going on in the father's mind.


That amount of restlessness, that desultoriness of attention, which made a small torture to Ezra, was to Lapidoth an irksome submission to restraint, only made bearable by his thinking of it as a means of by-and-by securing a well-conditioned freedom.

Lapidoth's submission to restraint was only made bearable to him by his thinking of it as a means of by-and-by securing freedom.


He began with the intention of awaiting some really good chance, such as an opening for getting a considerable sum from Deronda; but all the while he was looking about curiously, and trying to discover where Mirah deposited her money and her keys.

He intended to await an opening for getting a large sum from Deronda; but meanwhile he was trying to discover where Mirah kept her money and her keys.


The imperious gambling desire within him, which carried on its activity through every other occupation, and made a continuous web of imagination that held all else in its meshes, would hardly have been under the control of a contracted purpose, if he had been able to lay his hands on any sum worth capturing.

The imperious desire to gamble, which was present through every other occupation, would hardly have been under his control if he had been able to lay his hands on any sum.


But Mirah, with her practical clear-sightedness, guarded against any frustration of the promise she had given to Ezra, by confiding all money, except what she was immediately in want of, to Mrs. Meyrick's care, and Lapidoth felt himself under an irritating completeness of supply in kind as in a lunatic asylum where everything was made safe against him.

But Mirah, with her practical clear-sightedness, confided all money to Mrs. Meyrick's care.


To have opened a desk or drawer of Mirah's, and pocketed any bank-notes found there, would have been to his mind a sort of domestic appropriation which had no disgrace in it; the degrees of liberty a man allows himself with other people's property being often delicately drawn, even beyond the boundary where the law begins to lay its hold--which is the reason why spoons are a safer investment than mining shares. Lapidoth really felt himself injuriously treated by his daughter, and thought that he ought to have had what he wanted of her other earnings as he had of her apple-tart.

If Lapidoth had found and pocketed any bank-notes of Mirah's, he would have considered it a sort of domestic appropriation which held no disgrace; for he really felt himself badly treated by his daughter, and thought that he ought to have what he wanted of her earnings.


But he remained submissive; indeed, the indiscretion that most tempted him, was not any insistence with Mirah, but some kind of appeal to Deronda. Clever persons who have nothing else to sell can often put a good price on their absence, and Lapidoth's difficult search for devices forced upon him the idea that his family would find themselves happier without him, and that Deronda would be willing to advance a considerable sum for the sake of getting rid of him.

However, he was most tempted to approach Deronda, whom he felt might be willing to advance a considerable sum for the sake of getting rid of him.


But, in spite of well-practiced hardihood, Lapidoth was still in some awe of Ezra's imposing friend, and deferred his purpose indefinitely.

But Lapidoth was still in some awe of Ezra's imposing friend, and deferred this approach.


On this day, when Deronda had come full of a gladdened consciousness, which inevitably showed itself in his air and speech, Lapidoth was at a crisis of discontent and longing that made his mind busy with schemes of freedom, and Deronda's new amenity encouraged them.

When Deronda came, full of a gladdened consciousness, Lapidoth was at a crisis of discontent that made his mind busy with schemes of freedom.


This pre-occupation was at last so strong as to interfere with his usual show of interest in what went forward, and his persistence in sitting by even when there was reading which he could not follow.

He was so restless that he could not show any interest in what went forward; and at last he went out to smoke and walk in the square.


After sitting a little while, he went out to smoke and walk in the square, and the two friends were all the easier.


Mirah was not at home, but she was sure to be in again before Deronda left, and his eyes glowed with a secret anticipation: he thought that when he saw her again he should see some sweetness of recognition for himself to which his eyes had been sealed before. There was an additional playful affectionateness in his manner toward Ezra.

Mirah was not at home, but she was sure to be in again before Deronda left, and his eyes glowed with a secret anticipation: and there was a playful affectionateness in his manner toward Ezra.


"This little room is too close for you, Ezra," he said, breaking off his reading.


"The week's heat we sometimes get here is worse than the heat in Genoa, where one sits in the shaded coolness of large rooms.


I shall do as I like with you, being the stronger half."


"I am straitened for nothing except breath.


But you, who might be in a spacious palace, with the wide green country around you, find this a narrow prison.

But you, who might have the wide green country around you, find this a narrow prison."


"Oh, the country would be a banishment while you are here," said Deronda, rising and walking round the double room, which yet offered no long promenade, while he made a great fan of his handkerchief.

"The country would be a banishment while you are here," said Deronda, rising and walking round the room, while he made a fan of his handkerchief.


"This is the happiest room in the world to me.


Besides, I will imagine myself in the East, since I am getting ready to go there some day.


Only I will not wear a cravat and a heavy ring there," he ended emphatically, pausing to take off those superfluities and deposit them on a small table behind Ezra, who had the table in front of him covered with books and papers.

Only I will not wear a cravat and a heavy ring there," he ended, pausing to take these off and put them on a small table behind Ezra.


"I have been wearing my memorable ring ever since I came home," he went on, as he reseated himself.

"I have been wearing my memorial ring ever since I came home," he went on, as he reseated himself.


"But I am such a Sybarite that I constantly put it off as a burden when I am doing anything.

"But it is a burden when I am doing anything.


I understand why the Romans had summer rings--_if_ they had them.


They were soon absorbed in their work again.


Deronda was reading a piece of rabbinical Hebrew under Ezra's correction and comment, and they took little notice when Lapidoth re-entered and took a seat somewhat in the background.

Deronda was reading a piece of rabbinical Hebrew under Ezra's correction, and they took little notice when Lapidoth re-entered and sat in the background.


His rambling eyes quickly alighted on the ring that sparkled on the bit of dark mahogany.

His rambling eyes quickly alighted on the ring that sparkled on the dark mahogany.


During his walk, his mind had been occupied with the fiction of an advantageous opening for him abroad, only requiring a sum of ready money, which, on being communicated to Deronda in private, might immediately draw from him a question as to the amount of the required sum: and it was this part of his forecast that Lapidoth found the most debatable, there being a danger in asking too much, and a prospective regret in asking too little.

During his walk, he had been creating a fiction about an advantageous opening for him abroad, only requiring a sum of ready money, which Deronda might supply.


His own desire gave him no limit, and he was quite without guidance as to the limit of Deronda's willingness.

Lapidoth had been debating how large a sum; he did not know the limit of Deronda's willingness.


But now, in the midst of these airy conditions preparatory to a receipt which remained indefinite, this ring, which on Deronda's finger had become familiar to Lapidoth's envy, suddenly shone detached and within easy grasp.

But now, in the midst of these airy fantasies, this ring, which Lapidoth had seen with envy on Deronda's finger, suddenly shone detached and within easy grasp.


Its value was certainly below the smallest of the imaginary sums that his purpose fluctuated between; but then it was before him as a solid fact, and his desire at once leaped into the thought (not yet an intention) that if he were quietly to pocket that ring and walk away he would have the means of comfortable escape from present restraint, without trouble, and also without danger; for any property of Deronda's (available without his formal consent) was all one with his children's property, since their father would never be prosecuted for taking it.

Its value was certainly below the imaginary sums in his head: but it was before him as a solid fact, and his desire at once leaped into the thought that if he were quietly to pocket that ring and walk away he would have the means of comfortable escape without trouble, and also without danger; for any property of Deronda's was all one with his children's property, since their father would never be prosecuted for taking it.


The details of this thinking followed each other so quickly that they seemed to rise before him as one picture.


Lapidoth had never committed larceny; but larceny is a form of appropriation for which people are punished by law; and, take this ring from a virtual relation, who would have been willing to make a much heavier gift, would not come under the head of larceny.


Still, the heavier gift was to be preferred, if Lapidoth could only make haste enough in asking for it, and the imaginary action of taking the ring, which kept repeating itself like an inward tune, sank into a rejected idea.

Still, the gift was to be preferred, if Lapidoth could only make haste enough in asking for it, and the imaginary action of taking the ring, which kept repeating itself like an inward tune, sank into a rejected idea.


He satisfied his urgent longing by resolving to go below, and watch for the moment of Deronda's departure, when he would ask leave to join him in his walk and boldly carry out his meditated plan.

He resolved to go below, and watch for the moment of Deronda's departure, when he would ask leave to join him in his walk and boldly carry out his plan.


He rose and stood looking out of the window, but all the while he saw what lay beyond him--the brief passage he would have to make to the door close by the table where the ring was.

He rose and stood looking out of the window, but all the while he saw the brief passage to the door past the table where the ring was.


However he was resolved to go down; but--by no distinct change of resolution, rather by a dominance of desire, like the thirst of the drunkard--it so happened that in passing the table his fingers fell noiselessly on the ring, and he found himself in the passage with the ring in his hand.

However, he was resolved to go down; but - by no distinct change of resolution - it so happened that in passing the table his fingers fell noiselessly on the ring, and he found himself in the passage with the ring in his hand.


It followed that he put on his hat and quitted the house.


The possibility of again throwing himself on his children receded into the indefinite distance, and before he was out on the square his sense of haste had concentrated itself on selling the ring and getting on shipboard.

The possibility of again throwing himself on his children receded into the indefinite distance, and before he was out of the square his sense of haste had concentrated itself on selling the ring and getting on shipboard.


Deronda and Ezra were just aware of his exit; that was all.

Deronda and Ezra were aware of his exit; that was all.


But, by-and-by, Mirah came in and made a real interruption.


She had not taken off her hat; and when Deronda rose and advanced to shake hands with her, she said, in a confusion at once unaccountable and troublesome to herself,

She had not taken off her hat; and when Deronda rose to shake hands with her, she said, in a confusion at once unaccountable and troublesome to herself-


"I only came in to see that Ezra had his new draught.

"I only came to see that Ezra had his medicine.


I must go directly to Mrs. Meyrick's to fetch something."


"Pray allow me to walk with you," said Deronda urgently.


"I must not tire Ezra any further; besides my brains are melting.

"I must not tire Ezra any further; besides, my brains are melting.


I want to go to Mrs. Meyrick's: may I go with you?"


"Oh, yes," said Mirah, blushing still more, with the vague sense of something new in Deronda, and turning away to pour out Ezra's draught; Ezra meanwhile throwing back his head with his eyes shut, unable to get his mind away from the ideas that had been filling it while the reading was going on.

"Oh, yes," said Mirah, blushing still more, with the vague sense of something new in Deronda, and turning away to pour out Ezra's draught.


Deronda for a moment stood thinking of nothing but the walk, till Mirah turned round again and brought the draught, when he suddenly remembered that he had laid aside his cravat, and saying--"Pray excuse my dishabille--I did not mean you to see it," he went to the little table, took up his cravat, and exclaimed with a violent impulse of surprise, "Good heavens, where is my ring gone?"

Deronda suddenly remembered that he had laid aside his cravat, and saying- "Pray excuse my dishabille," he went to the little table, took up his cravat, and exclaimed in surprise, "Good heavens, where is my ring gone?"


Ezra looked round the corner of his chair. Mirah, quick as thought, went to the spot where Deronda was seeking, and said, "Did you lay it down?"

Ezra looked round, quick as thought, went to the spot where Deronda was seeking, and said, "Did you lay it down?"


"Yes," said Deronda, still unvisited by any other explanation than that the ring had fallen and was lurking in shadow, indiscernable on the variegated carpet.

"Yes," said Deronda, still assuming that the ring had fallen and was lurking in shadow, indiscernible on the variegated carpet.


He was moving the bits of furniture near, and searching in all possible and impossible places with hand and eyes.

He was moving the bits of furniture nearby.


But another explanation had visited Mirah and taken the color from her cheeks.

But another explanation had taken the colour from Mirah's cheeks.


She went to Ezra's ear and whispered "Was my father here?"


He bent his head in reply, meeting her eyes with terrible understanding.

He nodded, meeting her eyes with terrible understanding.


She darted back to the spot where Deronda was still casting down his eyes in that hopeless exploration which we are apt to carry on over a space we have examined in vain.

She darted back to the spot where Deronda was still hunting in vain.


He, meeting her frightened gaze, immediately caught alarm from it and answered, "I perhaps put it in my pocket," professing to feel for it there.

He, meeting her frightened gaze, immediately caught her alarm and answered, "Perhaps I put it in my pocket."


She watched him and said, "It is not there?--you put it on the table," with a penetrating voice that would not let him feign to have found it in his pocket; and immediately she rushed out of the room.

"You put it on the table," she said, with a penetrating voice that would not let him feign to have found it in his pocket; and immediately she rushed out of the room.


Deronda followed her--she was gone into the sitting-room below to look for her father--she opened the door of the bedroom to see if he were there--she looked where his hat usually hung--she turned with her hands clasped tight and her lips pale, gazing despairingly out of the window.

Deronda followed her: she was gone into the sitting-room below to look for her father - she opened the door of his bedroom - she looked where his hat usually hung - she turned with her hands clasped tight and her lips pale, gazing despairingly out of the window.


Then she looked up at Deronda, who had not dared to speak to her in her white agitation. She looked up at him, unable to utter a word--the look seemed a tacit acceptance of the humiliation she felt in his presence.

Then she looked up at Deronda, unable to utter a word in her humiliation.


But he, taking her clasped hands between both his, said, in a tone of reverent adoration,

But he, taking her clasped hands between his, said, in a tone of reverent adoration-


"Mirah, let me think that he is my father as well as yours--that we can have no sorrow, no disgrace, no joy apart.

"Mirah, let me think that he is my father as well as yours - that we can have no sorrow, no disgrace, no joy apart.


I will rather take your grief to be mine than I would take the brightest joy of another woman.


Say you will not reject me--say you will take me to share all things with you.

Say you will take me to share all things with you.


Say you will promise to be my wife--say it now.


I have been in doubt so long--I have had to hide my love so long.

I have been in doubt so long - I have had to hide my love so long.


Say that now and always I may prove to you that I love you with complete love."


She had not passed at once from anguish to the full, blessed consciousness that, in this moment of grief and shame, Deronda was giving her the highest tribute man can give to woman.

She did not pass at once from anguish to the full, blessed consciousness that, in this moment of grief and shame, Deronda was giving her the highest tribute man can give to woman.


With the first tones and the first words, she had only a sense of solemn comfort, referring this goodness of Deronda's to his feeling for Ezra.

With the first words, she had only a sense of comfort, referring this goodness of Deronda's to his feeling for Ezra.


But by degrees the rapturous assurance of unhoped-for good took possession of her frame: her face glowed under Deronda's as he bent over her; yet she looked up still with intense gravity, as when she had first acknowledged with religious gratitude that he had thought her "worthy of the best;" and when he had finished, she could say nothing--she could only lift up her lips to his and just kiss them, as if that were the simplest "yes."

But by degrees the rapturous assurance of love took possession of her: her face glowed under Deronda's as he bent over her; yet she looked up still with intense gravity, as when she had first acknowledged with gratitude that he had thought her "worthy of the best;" and when he had finished, she could say nothing - she could only lift up her lips to kiss his.


They stood then, only looking at each other, he holding her hands between his--too happy to move, meeting so fully in their new consciousness that all signs would have seemed to throw them farther apart, till Mirah said in a whisper: "Let us go and comfort Ezra."

They stood then, looking at each other, he holding her hands between his - too happy to move, till Mirah whispered: "Let us go and comfort Ezra."


"Within the soul a faculty abides, That with interpositions, which would hide And darken, so can deal, that they become Contingencies of pomp; and serve to exalt Her native brightness, as the ample moon, In the deep stillness of a summer even, Rising behind a thick and lofty grove, Burns, like an unconsuming fire of light, In the green trees; and, kindling on all sides Their leafy umbrage, turns the dusky veil Into a substance glorious as her own, Yea, with her own incorporated, by power Capacious and serene."


Deronda came out of the narrow house at Chelsea in a frame of mind that made him long for some good bodily exercise to carry off what he was himself inclined to call the fumes of his temper.

Deronda came out of the house at Chelsea longing for some bodily exercise to relieve his temper.


He was going toward the city, and the sight of the Chelsea Stairs with the waiting boats at once determined him to avoid the irritating inaction of being driven in a cab, by calling a wherry and taking an oar.

The sight of the waiting boats at the riverside at once determined him not to go to the City by cab, but by calling a wherry and taking an oar.


His errand was to go to Ram's book-shop, where he had yesterday arrived too late for Mordecai's midday watch, and had been told that he invariably came there again between five and six.

His errand was to go to Ram's book-shop, where he had yesterday arrived too late for Mordecai's midday watch, and had been told that he returned there between five and six.


Some further acquaintance with this remarkable inmate of the Cohens was particularly desired by Deronda as a preliminary to redeeming his ring: he wished that their conversation should not again end speedily with that drop of Mordecai's interest which was like the removal of a drawbridge, and threatened to shut out any easy communication in future.

Deronda wished for further conversation with this remarkable inmate of the Cohens before redeeming his ring: he wished that their talk should not again end speedily with that drop of Mordecai's interest which was like the removal of a drawbridge.


As he got warmed with the use of the oar, fixing his mind on the errand before him and the ends he wanted to achieve on Mirah's account, he experienced, as was wont with him, a quick change of mental light, shifting his point of view to that of the person whom he had been thinking of hitherto chiefly as serviceable to his own purposes, and was inclined to taunt himself with being not much better than an enlisting sergeant, who never troubles himself with the drama that brings him the needful recruits.

As he plied the oar, thinking of Mordecai, he experienced his habitual change of mental light, shifting his point of view to that of the person who was in his mind.


"I suppose if I got from this man the information I am most anxious about," thought Deronda, "I should be contented enough if he felt no disposition to tell me more of himself, or why he seemed to have some expectation from me which was disappointed.

"If I got information about Mirah's family from Mordecai," thought Deronda, "I should be content if he did not tell me more about himself, or why he seemed to have some expectation from me which was disappointed.


The sort of curiosity he stirs would die out; and yet it might be that he had neared and parted as one can imagine two ships doing, each freighted with an exile who would have recognized the other if the two could have looked out face to face.

My curiosity would die; and yet it might be that we had neared and parted like two ships, each carrying an exile who would have recognized the other if the two met.


Not that there is any likelihood of a peculiar tie between me and this poor fellow, whose voyage, I fancy, must soon be over.

Poor fellow; his voyage, I fancy, must soon be over."


But I wonder whether there is much of that momentous mutual missing between people who interchange blank looks, or even long for one another's absence in a crowded place.


However, one makes one's self chances of missing by going on the recruiting sergeant's plan."


When the wherry was approaching Blackfriars Bridge, where Deronda meant to land, it was half-past four, and the gray day was dying gloriously, its western clouds all broken into narrowing purple strata before a wide-spreading saffron clearness, which in the sky had a monumental calm, but on the river, with its changing objects, was reflected as a luminous movement, the alternate flash of ripples or currents, the sudden glow of the brown sail, the passage of laden barges from blackness into color, making an active response to that brooding glory.

When the wherry was approaching Blackfriars Bridge, where Deronda meant to land, it was half-past four. The grey day was dying gloriously, its western clouds broken into narrowing purple strata before a wide-spreading saffron clearness, which in the sky had a monumental calm, but on the river was reflected as a luminous, rippling movement.


Feeling well heated by this time, Deronda gave up the oar and drew over him again his Inverness cape.

Deronda gave up the oar to draw on his Inverness cape.


As he lifted up his head while fastening the topmost button his eyes caught a well-remembered face looking toward him over the parapet of the bridge--brought out by the western light into startling distinctness and brilliancy--an illuminated type of bodily emaciation and spiritual eagerness.

As he lifted his head while fastening the button, his eyes caught a well-remembered face looking toward him over the parapet of the bridge - a face of emaciated eagerness illuminated by the western light into startling distinctness and brilliancy.


It was the face of Mordecai, who also, in his watch toward the west, had caught sight of the advancing boat, and had kept it fast within his gaze, at first simply because it was advancing, then with a recovery of impressions that made him quiver as with a presentiment, till at last the nearing figure lifted up its face toward him--the face of his visions--and then immediately, with white uplifted hand, beckoned again and again.

It was the face of Mordecai, who in his watch toward the west, had caught sight of the advancing boat, and had kept it within his gaze, at first simply because it was advancing, then with a quivering presentiment, till at last the nearing figure lifted up the face of his visions - and then immediately, with white uplifted hand, beckoned again and again.


For Deronda, anxious that Mordecai should recognize and await him, had lost no time before signaling, and the answer came straightway.

For Deronda, anxious that Mordecai should recognize and await him, had signalled, and the answer came straightway.


Mordecai lifted his cap and waved it--feeling in that moment that his inward prophecy was fulfilled.

Mordecai waved his cap, feeling in that moment that his prophecy was fulfilled.


Obstacles, incongruities, all melted into the sense of completion with which his soul was flooded by this outward satisfaction of his longing.

Obstacles all melted into the sense of completion which flooded his soul.


His exultation was not widely different from that of the experimenter, bending over the first stirrings of change that correspond to what in the fervor of concentrated prevision his thought has foreshadowed.


The prefigured friend had come from the golden background, and had signaled to him: this actually was: the rest was to be.

The prefigured friend had come from the golden background, and had signalled to him: this actually was: the rest was to be.


In three minutes Deronda had landed, had paid his boatman, and was joining Mordecai, whose instinct it was to stand perfectly still and wait for him.

In three minutes Deronda had landed, had paid his boatman, and was joining Mordecai, who stood perfectly still to wait for him.


"I was very glad to see you standing here," said Deronda, "for I was intending to go on to the book-shop and look for you again.

"I was very glad to see you here," said Deronda, "for I was intending to go to the book-shop and look for you again.


I was there yesterday--perhaps they mentioned it to you?"

I was there yesterday - perhaps they told you?"


"Yes," said Mordecai; "that was the reason I came to the bridge."


This answer, made with simple gravity, was startlingly mysterious to Deronda.


Were the peculiarities of this man really associated with any sort of mental alienation, according to Cohen's hint?

Did this man really have a wandering mind, as Cohen had hinted?


"You knew nothing of my being at Chelsea?"


"No; but I expected you to come down the river.


I have been waiting for you these five years."


Mordecai's deep-sunk eyes were fixed on those of the friend who had at last arrived with a look of affectionate dependence, at once pathetic and solemn.


Deronda's sensitiveness was not the less responsive because he could not but believe that this strangely-disclosed relation was founded on an illusion.

Although Deronda believed the words to be based on an illusion, he could not but respond with sensitivity.


"It will be a satisfaction to me if I can be of any real use to you," he answered, very earnestly.

"I will be happy if I can be of any real use to you," he answered, very earnestly.


"Shall we get into a cab and drive to--wherever you wish to go?

"Shall we get into a cab and drive to - wherever you wish to go?


You have probably had walking enough with your short breath."


It will soon be time for me to be there.


But now look up the river," said Mordecai, turning again toward it and speaking in undertones of what may be called an excited calm--so absorbed by a sense of fulfillment that he was conscious of no barrier to a complete understanding between him and Deronda.

But now look up the river," said Mordecai, speaking with what may be called an excited calm - so absorbed by a sense of fulfilment that he felt no barrier to a complete understanding between him and Deronda.


I have always loved this bridge: I stood on it when I was a little boy. It is a meeting-place for the spiritual messengers.

I have always loved this bridge: it is a meeting-place for the spiritual messengers.


It is true--what the Masters said--that each order of things has its angel: that means the full message of each from what is afar.


Here I have listened to the messages of earth and sky; when I was stronger I used to stay and watch for the stars in the deep heavens.


But this time just about sunset was always what I loved best.

But the sunset was always what I loved best.


It has sunk into me and dwelt with me--fading, slowly fading: it was my own decline: it paused--it waited, till at last it brought me my new life--my new self--who will live when this breath is all breathed out."

It has sunk into me and dwelt with me - fading, with my own decline: it paused - it waited, till at last it brought me my new life - my new self - who will live when this breath is all breathed out."


The first-prompted suspicion that Mordecai might be liable to hallucinations of thought--might have become a monomaniac on some subject which had given too severe a strain to his diseased organism--gave way to a more submissive expectancy.

His first suspicion that Mordecai might be liable to hallucinations, obsessed by some subject which had over-strained his diseased body, gave way to a submissive expectancy.


His nature was too large, too ready to conceive regions beyond his own experience, to rest at once in the easy explanation, "madness," whenever a consciousness showed some fullness and conviction where his own was blank.

Deronda's nature was too large and open to rest in the easy explanation, "madness."


It accorded with his habitual disposition that he should meet rather than resist any claim on him in the shape of another's need; and this claim brought with it a sense of solemnity which seemed a radiation from Mordecai, as utterly nullifying his outward poverty and lifting him into authority as if he had been that preternatural guide seen in the universal legend, who suddenly drops his mean disguise and stands a manifest Power. That impression was the more sanctioned by a sort of resolved quietude which the persuasion of fulfillment had produced in Mordecai's manner.

He would rather meet than resist any claim on him in the shape of another's need; and the solemnity of this claim lifted Mordecai into authority, like a supernatural guide who suddenly drops his mean disguise and stands revealed as a Power, calm and resolved.


After they had stood a moment in silence he said, "Let us go now," and when they were riding he added, "We will get down at the end of the street and walk to the shop.

After they had stood a moment in silence Mordecai said- "Let us go now," and when they were in the cab he added, "We will get down at the end of the street and walk to the shop.


You can look at the books, and Mr. Ram will be going away directly and leave us alone."

You can look at the books, and Mr. Ram will be going directly and leave us alone."


It seemed that this enthusiast was just as cautious, just as much alive to judgments in other minds as if he had been that antipode of all enthusiasm called "a man of the world."

It seemed that he was alive to judgments in other minds.


While they were rattling along in the cab, Mirah was still present with Deronda in the midst of this strange experience, but he foresaw that the course of conversation would be determined by Mordecai, not by himself: he was no longer confident what questions he should be able to ask; and with a reaction on his own mood, he inwardly said, "I suppose I am in a state of complete superstition, just as if I were awaiting the destiny that could interpret the oracle.

Meanwhile, Deronda had not forgotten Mirah: but he was no longer confident what questions he should ask; and said inwardly, "I suppose I am in a superstitious state, as if I were awaiting the fulfilment of an oracle.


But some strong relation there must be between me and this man, since he feels it strongly.

But there must be some strong relation between me and this man, since he feels it strongly.


what relation has proved itself more potent in the world than faith even when mistaken--than expectation even when perpetually disappointed?

what relation is more potent than faith, even when mistaken?


Is my side of the relation to be disappointing or fulfilling?--well, if it is ever possible for me to fulfill I will not disappoint."

Will I fulfil my part, or disappoint? - well, I will not disappoint if possible."


In ten minutes the two men, with as intense a consciousness as if they had been two undeclared lovers, felt themselves alone in the small gas-lit book-shop and turned face to face, each baring his head from an instinctive feeling that they wished to see each other fully.

In ten minutes the two men, with as intense a consciousness as two undeclared lovers, found themselves alone in the small gas-lit book-shop and turned face to face, each baring his head to see each other fully.


Mordecai came forward to lean his back against the little counter, while Deronda stood against the opposite wall hardly more than four feet off.


I wish I could perpetuate those two faces, as Titian's "Tribute Money" has perpetuated two types presenting another sort of contrast.


Imagine--we all of us can--the pathetic stamp of consumption with its brilliancy of glance to which the sharply-defined structure of features reminding one of a forsaken temple, give already a far-off look as of one getting unwillingly out of reach; and imagine it on a Jewish face naturally accentuated for the expression of an eager mind--the face of a man little above thirty, but with that age upon it which belongs to time lengthened by suffering, the hair and beard, still black, throwing out the yellow pallor of the skin, the difficult breathing giving more decided marking to the mobile nostril, the wasted yellow hands conspicuous on the folded arms: then give to the yearning consumptive glance something of the slowly dying mother's look, when her one loved son visits her bedside, and the flickering power of gladness leaps out as she says, "My boy!"

Imagine the pathetic stamp of consumption with its brilliancy of glance and sharply-defined features, creating a far-off look as of one getting unwillingly out of reach; and imagine it on an eager Jewish face - the face of a man little above thirty, but aged by suffering, the black hair and beard emphasising the yellow pallor of the skin. Imagine the difficult breathing, the wasted yellow hands: then give to the yearning consumptive glance something of the dying mother's look, when her one loved son visits her bedside, and the flickering power of gladness leaps out as she says, "My boy!"


--for the sense of spiritual perpetuation in another resembles that maternal transference of self.


Seeing such a portrait you would see Mordecai.


And opposite to him was a face not more distinctively oriental than many a type seen among what we call the Latin races; rich in youthful health, and with a forcible masculine gravity in its repose, that gave the value of judgment to the reverence with which he met the gaze of this mysterious son of poverty who claimed him as a long-expected friend.

And opposite him was a face not more distinctively oriental than many of the Latin races; rich in youthful health, and with a forcible masculine gravity in its repose, as it met the gaze of this mysterious son of poverty who claimed him as a long-expected friend.


The more exquisite quality of Deronda's nature--that keenly perceptive sympathetic emotiveness which ran along with his speculative tendency--was never more thoroughly tested.

Deronda's keenly perceptive sympathy was never more thoroughly tested.


He felt nothing that could be called belief in the validity of Mordecai's impressions concerning him or in the probability of any greatly effective issue: what he felt was a profound sensibility to a cry from the depths of another and accompanying that, the summons to be receptive instead of superciliously prejudging.

He did not believe in the validity of Mordecai's impressions concerning him: what he felt was a profound sensitivity to a cry from the depths of another, and the urge to be receptive rather than prejudge.


Receptiveness is a rare and massive power, like fortitude; and this state of mind now gave Deronda's face its utmost expression of calm benignant force--an expression which nourished Mordecai's confidence and made an open way before him.

Receptiveness is a rare and massive power, like fortitude; and this state of mind now gave Deronda's face a calm benignant force which nourished Mordecai's confidence.


"You cannot know what has guided me to you and brought us together at this moment.

"You are wondering what has guided me to you and brought us together at this moment."


"I am ready to listen to whatever you may wish to disclose."


"You see some of the reasons why I needed you," said Mordecai, speaking quietly, as if he wished to reserve his strength.

"You see some of the reasons why I needed you," said Mordecai, speaking quietly, to reserve his strength.


You see that I am as one shut up behind bars by the wayside, who if he spoke to any would be met only by head-shaking and pity.


The day is closing--the light is fading--soon we should not have been able to discern each other.

The day is closing - the light is fading - soon we should not have been able to discern each other.


"I rejoice that I am come in time," said Deronda, feelingly.

"I rejoice that I am come in time," said Deronda.


He would not say, "I hope you are not mistaken in me,"--the very word "mistaken," he thought, would be a cruelty at that moment.

He would not say, "I hope you are not mistaken in me"; for he thought that would be cruel just then.


"But the hidden reasons why I need you began afar off," said Mordecai; "began in my early years when I was studying in another land.


Then ideas, beloved ideas, came to me, because I was a Jew.

Then beloved ideas came to me, because I was a Jew.


They were a trust to fulfill, because I was a Jew.


They were an inspiration, because I was a Jew, and felt the heart of my race beating within me.

They were an inspiration, because I was a Jew, and I felt the heart of my race beating within me.


They were my life; I was not fully born till then.


I counted this heart, and this breath, and this right hand"--Mordecai had pathetically pressed his hand upon his breast, and then stretched its wasted fingers out before him--"I counted my sleep and my waking, and the work I fed my body with, and the sights that fed my eyes--I counted them but as fuel to the divine flame.

I counted this heart, and this breath, and this right hand"- Mordecai pathetically stretched out his wasted fingers - "I counted my sleep and my waking but as fuel to the divine flame.


But I had done as one who wanders and engraves his thought in rocky solitudes, and before I could change my course came care and labor and disease, and blocked the way before me, and bound me with the iron that eats itself into the soul.

But care and labour and disease came, and blocked my way, and bound me with the iron that eats into the soul.


Then I said, 'How shall I save the life within me from being stifled with this stifled breath?'"

Then I said, 'How shall I save the life within me from being stifled?'"


Mordecai paused to rest that poor breath which had been taxed by the rising excitement of his speech. And also he wished to check that excitement.

Mordecai paused to rest, and to check his rising excitement.


Deronda dared not speak: the very silence in the narrow space seemed alive with mingled awe and compassion before this struggling fervor.

Deronda dared not speak. The very silence seemed alive with mingled awe and compassion before this struggling fervour.


I speak not as an ignorant dreamer--as one bred up in the inland valleys, thinking ancient thoughts anew, and not knowing them ancient, never having stood by the great waters where the world's knowledge passes to and fro.

"I speak not as an ignorant dreamer - as one bred up in the inland valleys, never having stood by the great waters where the world's knowledge passes to and fro.


English is my mother-tongue, England is the native land of this body, which is but as a breaking pot of earth around the fruit-bearing tree, whose seed might make the desert rejoice. But my true life was nourished in Holland at the feet of my mother's brother, a Rabbi skilled in special learning: and when he died I went to Hamburg to study, and afterwards to Gttingen, that I might take a larger outlook on my people, and on the Gentile world, and drank knowledge at all sources.

England is my native land; but my true life was nourished in Holland at the feet of my uncle, a learned Rabbi: and when he died I went to Hamburg to study, and afterwards to Gttingen, that I might learn about my people, and drink knowledge at all sources.


I was a youth; I felt free; I saw our chief seats in Germany; I was not then in utter poverty.


And I had possessed myself of a handicraft.


For I said, I care not if my lot be as that of Joshua ben Chananja: after the last destruction he earned his bread by making needles, but in his youth he had been a singer on the steps of the Temple, and had a memory of what was before the glory departed.


I said, let my body dwell in poverty, and my hands be as the hands of the toiler: but let my soul be as a temple of remembrance where the treasures of knowledge enter and the inner sanctuary is hope.

For I said, let my body dwell in poverty, and my hands be as the hands of the toiler: but let my soul be as a temple of remembrance where knowledge enters and the inner sanctuary is hope.


They said, 'He feeds himself on visions,' and I denied not; for visions are the creators and feeders of the world.

They said, 'He feeds himself on visions,' and I denied it not; for visions are the creators and feeders of the world.


I see, I measure the world as it is, which the vision will create anew.

You see, I measure the world as it is, which the vision will create anew.


You are not listening to one who raves aloof from the lives of his fellows."

I am not one who raves aloof from the lives of his fellows."


Mordecai paused, and Deronda, feeling that the pause was expectant, said, "Do me the justice to believe that I was not inclined to call your words raving.

Mordecai paused, and Deronda said, "Indeed, I would not call your words raving.


I listen that I may know, without prejudgment.


I have had experience which gives me a keen interest in the story of a spiritual destiny embraced willingly, and embraced in youth."

I have had experience which gives me a keen interest in the story of a spiritual destiny embraced willingly in youth."


"A spiritual destiny embraced willingly--in youth?"

"A spiritual destiny embraced willingly in youth?"


"It was the soul fully born within me, and it came in my boyhood.

"Rather it was the soul fully born within me, and it came in my boyhood.


It brought its own world--a mediaeval world, where there are men who made the ancient language live again in new psalms of exile. They had absorbed the philosophy of the Gentile into the faith of the Jew, and they still yearned toward a center for our race.

It brought its own world - a mediaeval world, where men made the ancient Hebrew language live again in new psalms of exile, and yearned toward a centre for our race.


One of their souls was born again within me, and awakened amid the memories of their world.

One of their souls was born again within me.


It traveled into Spain and Provence; it debated with Aben-Ezra; it took ship with Jehuda ha-Levi; it heard the roar of the Crusaders and the shrieks of tortured Israel.

It travelled into Spain and Provence; it debated with Aben-Ezra; it took ship with Jehuda ha-Levi; it heard the roar of the Crusaders and the shrieks of tortured Israel.


And when its dumb tongue was loosed, it spoke the speech they had made alive with the new blood of their ardor, their sorrow, and their martyred trust: it sang with the cadence of their strain."

And it spoke the speech they had made alive with the new blood of their ardour and their sorrow; it sang with the cadence of their strain."


Mordecai paused again, and then said in a loud, hoarse whisper,


"While it is imprisoned in me, it will never learn another."


"Have you written entirely in Hebrew, then?"


said Deronda, remembering with some anxiety the former question as to his own knowledge of that tongue.

said Deronda, with some anxiety as to his own knowledge of that tongue.


"Yes--yes," said Mordecai, in a tone of deep sadness: "in my youth I wandered toward that solitude, not feeling that it was a solitude.

"Yes," said Mordecai with deep sadness: "in my youth I wandered toward that solitude, not feeling that it was a solitude.


I had the ranks of the great dead around me; the martyrs gathered and listened.

I had the ranks of the great dead around me.


But soon I found that the living were deaf to me.


At first I saw my life spread as a long future: I said part of my Jewish heritage is an unbreaking patience; part is skill to seek divers methods and find a rooting-place where the planters despair. But there came new messengers from the Eternal. I had to bow under the yoke that presses on the great multitude born of woman: family troubles called me--I had to work, to care, not for myself alone.

At first I saw my life spread as a long future: I said part of my Jewish heritage is an unbreaking patience; but then I had to bow under the yoke that presses on so many: family troubles called me - I had to work, to care, not for myself alone.


I was left solitary again; but already the angel of death had turned to me and beckoned, and I felt his skirts continually on my path.

I was left solitary again; but already the angel of death had beckoned, and I felt his skirts continually on my path.


I spoke; I went to men of our people--to the rich in influence or knowledge, to the rich in other wealth.

I spoke; I went to men of our people - to the rich in knowledge, and in wealth.


But I found none to listen with understanding.


I was rebuked for error; I was offered a small sum in charity.


I looked poor; I carried a bundle of Hebrew manuscript with me; I said, our chief teachers are misleading the hope of our race.

I looked poor; I carried a bundle of Hebrew manuscript with me; and I said, our chief teachers are misleading the hope of our race.


Scholar and merchant were both too busy to listen. Scorn stood as interpreter between me and them.


One said, 'The book of Mormon would never have answered in Hebrew; and if you mean to address our learned men, it is not likely you can teach them anything.'


The last words had a perceptible irony in their hoarsened tone.


"But though you had accustomed yourself to write in Hebrew, few, surely, can use English better," said Deronda, wanting to hint consolation in a new effort for which he could smooth the way.

"But though you wrote in Hebrew, few, surely, can use English better," said Deronda, wanting to hint at a new effort for which he could smooth the way.


Mordecai shook his head slowly, and answered,

Mordecai shook his head slowly, and answered-


My writing would be like this gasping breath."


But the breath may wake the fount of pity--the writing not.


If I could write now and used English, I should be as one who beats a board to summon those who have been used to no signal but a bell.


My soul has an ear to hear the faults of its own speech.


New writing of mine would be like this body"--Mordecai spread his arms--"within it there might be the Ruach-ha-kodesh--the breath of divine thought--but, men would smile at it and say, 'A poor Jew!'


and the chief smilers would be of my own people."


Mordecai let his hands fall, and his head sink in melancholy: for the moment he had lost hold of his hope.

His head bowed in melancholy: for the moment he had lost his hope.


Despondency, conjured up by his own words, had floated in and hovered above him with eclipsing wings.

Despondency hovered above him with eclipsing wings.


"I feel with you--I feel strongly with you," said Deronda, in a clear deep voice which was itself a cordial, apart from the words of sympathy.

"I feel strongly with you," said Deronda, in a clear, deep, reviving voice.


"But forgive me if I speak hastily--for what you have actually written there need be no utter burial.

"But what you have written need not lie buried.


The means of publication are within reach.


If you will rely on me, I can assure you of all that is necessary to that end."


"That is not enough," said Mordecai, quickly, looking up again with the flash of recovered memory and confidence.

"That is not enough," said Mordecai, quickly, looking up with recovered confidence.


You must be not only a hand to me, but a soul--believing my belief--being moved by my reasons--hoping my hope--seeing the vision I point to--beholding a glory where I behold it!"

You must be not only a hand to me, but a soul - believing my belief - moved by my reasons - hoping my hope - beholding a glory where I behold it!"


--Mordecai had taken a step nearer as he spoke, and now laid his hand on Deronda's arm with a tight grasp; his face little more than a foot off had something like a pale flame in it--an intensity of reliance that acted as a peremptory claim, while he went on--"You will be my life: it will be planted afresh; it will grow.

Mordecai moved nearer as he spoke, and laid his hand on Deronda's arm with a tight grasp; his face shone like a pale flame, while he went on- "You will be my life: it will be planted afresh; it will grow.


You shall take the inheritance; it has been gathering for ages.


The generations are crowding on my narrow life as a bridge: what has been and what is to be are meeting there; and the bridge is breaking.


You will take the inheritance which the base son refuses because of the tombs which the plow and harrow may not pass over or the gold-seeker disturb: you will take the sacred inheritance of the Jew."

You will take the sacred inheritance of the Jew."


Deronda had become as pallid as Mordecai.


Quick as an alarm of flood or fire, there spread within him not only a compassionate dread of discouraging this fellowman who urged a prayer as one in the last agony, but also the opposing dread of fatally feeding an illusion, and being hurried on to a self-committal which might turn into a falsity.

Quick as an alarm, there spread within him not only a compassionate dread of discouraging this dying fellow man, but also the opposing dread of fatally feeding an illusion, and of being hurried on to a self-committal which might prove impossible to carry out.


The peculiar appeal to his tenderness overcame the repulsion that most of us experience under a grasp and speech which assumed to dominate.

The appeal to his tenderness overcame the repulsion that most of us experience under a dominating grasp and speech.


The difficulty to him was to inflict the accents of hesitation and doubt on this ardent suffering creature, who was crowding too much of his brief being into a moment of perhaps extravagant trust.

His difficulty was how to express his doubts to this ardent suffering creature.


With exquisite instinct, Deronda, before he opened his lips, placed his palm gently on Mordecai's straining hand--an act just then equal to many speeches.

With exquisite instinct, he placed his palm gently on Mordecai's straining hand.


And after that he said, without haste, as if conscious that he might be wrong,


"Do you forget what I told you when we first saw each other?


Do you remember that I said I was not of your race?"


"It can't be true," Mordecai whispered immediately, with no sign of shock.


The sympathetic hand still upon him had fortified the feeling which was stronger than those words of denial.

The sympathetic hand upon him had fortified his feelings.


There was a perceptible pause, Deronda feeling it impossible to answer, conscious indeed that the assertion "It can't be true"--had the pressure of argument for him.

There was a pause, Deronda feeling it impossible to answer.


Mordecai, too entirely possessed by the supreme importance of the relation between himself and Deronda to have any other care in his speech, followed up that assertion by a second, which came to his lips as a mere sequence of his long-cherished conviction--"You are not sure of your own origin."

Mordecai, entirely possessed by the supreme importance of the relation between them, followed that assertion by a second, spoken in consequence of his long-cherished conviction- "You are not sure of your own origin."


said Daniel, with an habitual shrinking which made him remove his hands from Mordecai's, who also relaxed his hold, and fell back into his former leaning position.

said Daniel, shrinking away.
Mordecai relaxed his hold.


"I know it--I know it; what is my life else?"


said Mordecai, with a low cry of impatience.


"Tell me everything: tell me why you deny."


He could have no conception what that demand was to the hearer--how probingly it touched the hidden sensibility, the vividly conscious reticence of years; how the uncertainty he was insisting on as part of his own hope had always for Daniel been a threatening possibility of painful revelation about his mother.

He could have no conception what that demand meant to the hearer - how probingly it touched the hidden sensibility, the reticence of years; how the uncertainty had always for Daniel held a threat of painful revelation about his mother.


But the moment had influences which were not only new but solemn to Deronda; any evasion here might turn out to be a hateful refusal of some task that belonged to him, some act of due fellowship; in any case it would be a cruel rebuff to a being who was appealing to him as a forlorn hope under the shadow of a coming doom.

But Deronda felt that any evasion or refusal would be a cruel rebuff to one who was appealing to him under the shadow of a coming doom.


After a few moments, he said, with a great effort over himself--determined to tell all the truth briefly,

After a few moments, he said, with a great effort-


But I am convinced that my father is an Englishman."


Deronda's deep tones had a tremor in them as he uttered this confession; and all the while there was an undercurrent of amazement in him at the strange circumstances under which he uttered it.

Deronda's deep tones had a tremor in them as he uttered this confession; and he was amazed at the strange circumstances under which he uttered it.


It seemed as if Mordecai were hardly overrating his own power to determine the action of the friend whom he had mysteriously chosen.


"It will be seen--it will be declared," said Mordecai, triumphantly.

"It will be seen - it will be declared," said Mordecai, triumphantly.


"The world grows, and its frame is knit together by the growing soul; dim, dim at first, then clearer and more clear, the consciousness discerns remote stirrings.

"The world grows, and is knit together by the growing soul; dim, dim at first, then clearer and more clear.


As thoughts move within us darkly, and shake us before they are fully discerned--so events--so beings: they are knit with us in the growth of the world.

As thoughts move within us darkly, and shake us before they are fully discerned, so events and beings are knit with us in the growth of the world.


You have risen within me like a thought not fully spelled; my soul is shaken before the words are all there.


"We must not lose sight of the fact that the outward event has not always been a fulfillment of the firmest faith," said Deronda, in a tone that was made hesitating by the painfully conflicting desires, not to give any severe blow to Mordecai, and not to give his confidence a sanction which might have the severest of blows in reserve.

"The outward event has not always been a fulfilment of the firmest faith," said Deronda hesitatingly, wishing neither to give any severe blow to Mordecai, nor to encourage him unwisely.


Mordecai's face, which had been illuminated to the utmost in that last declaration of his confidence, changed under Deronda's words, not only into any show of collapsed trust: the force did not disappear from the expression, but passed from the triumphant into the firmly resistant.

Mordecai's face changed from the triumphant to the firmly resistant.


"You would remind me that I may be under an illusion--that the history of our people's trust has been full of illusion.

"You would remind me that I may be under an illusion - that the history of our people's trust has been full of illusion.


Then bending his head a little forward, he said, in his hoarse whisper, "_So it might be with my trust, if you would make it an illusion.

Then bending forward, he said, in his hoarse whisper, "So it might be with my trust, if you would make it an illusion.


The very sharpness with which these words penetrated Deronda made him feel the more that here was a crisis in which he must be firm.

The very sharpness of these words persuaded Deronda that here he must be firm.


"What my birth was does not lie in my will," he answered.


"My sense of claims on me cannot be independent of my knowledge there.


And I cannot promise you that I will try to hasten a disclosure.

"And I cannot promise you to hasten a disclosure.


Feelings which have struck root through half my life may still hinder me from doing what I have never been able to do.


I must know more of the truth about my own life, and I must know more of what it would become if it were made a part of yours."


Mordecai had folded his arms again while Deronda was speaking, and now answered with equal firmness, though with difficult breathing,

Mordecai had folded his arms, and now answered with equal firmness, though with difficult breathing-


What are we met for, but that you should know.

What are we met for, but that you should know?


Your doubts lie as light as dust on my belief.


I know the philosophies of this time and of other times; if I chose I could answer a summons before their tribunals.


I could silence the beliefs which are the mother-tongue of my soul and speak with the rote-learned language of a system, that gives you the spelling of all things, sure of its alphabet covering them all.


I could silence them: may not a man silence his awe or his love, and take to finding reasons, which others demand?


But if his love lies deeper than any reasons to be found?


Man finds his pathways: at first they were foot tracks, as those of the beast in the wilderness: now they are swift and invisible: his thought dives through the ocean, and his wishes thread the air: has he found all the pathways yet?


What reaches him, stays with him, rules him: he must accept it, not knowing its pathway.


Say, my expectation of you has grown but as false hopes grow.

Say, my expectation of you is a false hope.


Well, my expectation was there, and you are come.


But I was thirsty, and the water is on my lips!


In the hour when you come to me and say, 'I reject your soul: I know that I am not a Jew: we have no lot in common'--I shall not doubt.

Even if you come to me and say, 'I reject your soul: I am not a Jew: we have no lot in common'- I shall not doubt.


I shall be certain--certain that I have been deluded.


Deronda felt a new chord sounding in his speech: it was rather imperious than appealing--had more of conscious power than of the yearning need which had acted as a beseeching grasp on him before.

Deronda heard a new, imperious chord sounding in these words.


And usually, though he was the reverse of pugnacious, such a change of attitude toward him would have weakened his inclination to admit a claim.


But here there was something that balanced his resistance and kept it aloof.


This strong man whose gaze was sustainedly calm and his finger-nails pink with health, who was exercised in all questioning, and accused of excessive mental independence, still felt a subduing influence over him in the tenacious certitude of the fragile creature before him, whose pallid yellow nostril was tense with effort as his breath labored under the burthen of eager speech.

He felt a subduing influence in the certitude of the fragile creature before him, whose breath laboured under the burden of eager speech.


The influence seemed to strengthen the bond of sympathetic obligation. In Deronda at this moment the desire to escape what might turn into a trying embarrassment was no more likely to determine action than the solicitations of indolence are likely to determine it in one with whom industry is a daily law.

His feeling of sympathetic obligation grew, so that he felt no desire to escape what might turn into a trying embarrassment.


"It is my wish to meet and satisfy your wishes wherever that is possible to me.

"It is my wish to satisfy your wishes wherever that is possible.


It is certain to me at least that I desire not to undervalue your toil and your suffering.

Certainly I desire not to undervalue your toil and your suffering.


"I have thought of that," said Mordecai.


"It is not hard for you to come into this neighborhood later in the evening?


"I can manage it very well occasionally," said Deronda.


"You live under the same roof with the Cohens, I think?"


Before Mordecai could answer, Mr. Ram re-entered to take his place behind the counter.

Before Mordecai could answer, Mr. Ram re-entered the shop.


He was an elderly son of Abraham, whose childhood had fallen on the evil times at the beginning of this century, and who remained amid this smart and instructed generation as a preserved specimen, soaked through and through with the effect of the poverty and contempt which were the common heritage of most English Jews seventy years ago. He had none of the oily cheerfulness observable in Mr. Cohen's aspect: his very features--broad and chubby--showed that tendency to look mongrel without due cause, which, in a miscellaneous London neighborhood, may perhaps be compared with the marvels of imitation in insects, and may have been nature's imperfect effort on behalf of the pure Caucasian to shield him from the shame and spitting to which purer features would have been exposed in the times of zeal.

He was an elderly Jew with none of Mr. Cohen's oily cheerfulness.


Mr. Ram dealt ably in books, in the same way that he would have dealt in tins of meat and other commodities--without knowledge or responsibility as to the proportion of rottenness or nourishment they might contain.

Mr. Ram dealt ably in books, in the same way that he would have dealt in tins of meat and other commodities - without knowledge or responsibility as to the proportion of rottenness or nourishment they might contain.


But he believed in Mordecai's learning as something marvellous, and was not sorry that his conversation should be sought by a bookish gentleman, whose visits had twice ended in a purchase.


He greeted Deronda with a crabbed good-will, and, putting on large silver spectacles, appeared at once to abstract himself in the daily accounts.


But Deronda and Mordecai were soon in the street together, and without any explicit agreement as to their direction, were walking toward Ezra Cohen's.

But Deronda and Mordecai were soon in the street together, and without any explicit agreement, were walking toward Ezra Cohen's.


"We can't meet there: my room is too narrow," said Mordecai, taking up the thread of talk where they had dropped it.

"We can't meet there: my room is too narrow," said Mordecai.


"But there is a tavern not far from here where I sometimes go to a club. It is the _Hand and Banner_, in the street at the next turning, five doors down.

"But there is a tavern not far from here where I sometimes go to a club: the Hand and Banner, in the next street, five doors down.


We can have the parlor there any evening."


"We can try that for once," said Deronda.


"But you will perhaps let me provide you with some lodging, which would give you more freedom and comfort than where you are."


I will take nothing less precious from you than your soul's brotherhood.


You did not need money on that diamond ring.


You had some other motive for bringing it."


Deronda was a little startled by this clear-sightedness; but before he could reply Mordecai added--"it is all one.

Deronda was startled by this clear-sightedness; but before he could reply Mordecai added- "It is all one.


Had you been in need of the money, the great end would have been that we should meet again.

If you needed money, we should still meet again.


"Not rich, except in the sense that every one is rich who has more than he needs for himself."

"Only in the sense that everyone is rich who has more than he needs for himself."


"I desired that your life should be free," said Mordecai, dreamily--"mine has been a bondage."

"I desired that your life should be free," said Mordecai, dreamily; "mine has been a bondage."


It was clear that he had no interest in the fact of Deronda's appearance at the Cohens' beyond its relation to his own ideal purpose.

It was clear that he had no interest in the reason for Deronda's appearance at the Cohens' beyond his own purpose.


Despairing of leading easily up to the question he wished to ask, Deronda determined to put it abruptly, and said,

Deronda, determine to put his question, said-


"Can you tell me why Mrs. Cohen, the mother, must not be spoken to about her daughter?"


There was no immediate answer, and he thought that he should have to repeat the question. The fact was that Mordecai had heard the words, but had to drag his mind to a new subject away from his passionate preoccupation.

There was no immediate answer: Mordecai had heard the words, but had to drag his mind away from his passionate preoccupation.


After a few moments, he replied with a careful effort such as he would have used if he had been asked the road to Holborn:


But I will not speak even of trivial family affairs which I have heard in the privacy of the family.

But I will not speak of family affairs which I have heard in the privacy of the family.


I dwell in their tent as in a sanctuary.

I dwell in their home as in a sanctuary.


Their history, so far as they injure none other, is their own possession."


Deronda felt the blood mounting to his cheeks as a sort of rebuke he was little used to, and he also found himself painfully baffled where he had reckoned with some confidence on getting decisive knowledge.

Deronda felt the blood mounting to his cheeks at this rebuke, and he found himself painfully baffled.


He became the more conscious of emotional strain from the excitements of the day; and although he had the money in his pocket to redeem his ring, he recoiled from the further task of a visit to the Cohens', which must be made not only under the former uncertainty, but under a new disappointment as to the possibility of its removal.

He became conscious of emotional strain from the excitements of the day; and although he had the money in his pocket to redeem his ring, he recoiled from the further task of a visit to the Cohens'.


"I will part from you now," he said, just before they could reach Cohen's door; and Mordecai paused, looking up at him with an anxious fatigued face under the gaslight.

"I will part from you now," he said, before they reached Cohen's door; and Mordecai paused, looking up at him with an anxious fatigued face.


May I ask for you at the Cohens' any evening after your hour at the book-shop?


There is no objection, I suppose, to their knowing that you and I meet in private?"

There is no objection, I suppose, to their knowing that you and I meet?"


"But the days I wait now are longer than the years of my strength.


Life shrinks: what was but a tithe is now the half.


"I will be faithful," said Deronda--he could not have left those words unuttered.

"I will be faithful," said Deronda - he could not have left those words unuttered.


"I will come the first evening I can after seven: on Saturday or Monday, if possible.


Mordecai, clasping it eagerly, seemed to feel a new instreaming of confidence, and he said with some recovered energy--"This is come to pass, and the rest will come."

Mordecai, clasping it eagerly, said- "This is come to pass, and the rest will come."


"The unwilling brain Feigns often what it would not; and we trust Imagination with such phantasies As the tongue dares not fashion into words; Which have no words, their horror makes them dim To the mind's eye."

Book 7 - THE MOTHER AND THE SON | Chapter 54


Madonna Pia, whose husband, feeling himself injured by her, took her to his castle amid the swampy flats of the Maremma and got rid of her there, makes a pathetic figure in Dante's Purgatory, among the sinners who repented at the last and desire to be remembered compassionately by their fellow-countrymen.


We know little about the grounds of mutual discontent between the Siennese couple, but we may infer with some confidence that the husband had never been a very delightful companion, and that on the flats of the Maremma his disagreeable manners had a background which threw them out remarkably; whence in his desire to punish his wife to the upmost, the nature of things was so far against him that in relieving himself of her he could not avoid making the relief mutual.


And thus, without any hardness to the poor Tuscan lady, who had her deliverance long ago, one may feel warranted in thinking of her with a less sympathetic interest than of the better known Gwendolen who, instead of being delivered from her errors on earth and cleansed from their effect in purgatory, is at the very height of her entanglement in those fatal meshes which are woven within more closely than without, and often make the inward torture disproportionate to what is discernable as outward cause.

Gwendolen was now at the height of her entanglement in those fatal meshes which are woven more closely within than without, and make the inward torture far worse than the apparent outward cause.


In taking his wife with him on a yachting expedition, Grandcourt had no intention to get rid of her; on the contrary, he wanted to feel more securely that she was his to do as he liked with, and to make her feel it also.

In taking his wife with him on a yachting expedition, Grandcourt wanted to feel that she was his to do as he liked with, and to make her feel it also.


Moreover, he was himself very fond of yachting: its dreamy do-nothing absolutism, unmolested by social demands, suited his disposition, and he did not in the least regard it as an equivalent for the dreariness of the Maremma.

Moreover, he was very fond of yachting: its dreamy do-nothing absolutism, unmolested by social demands, suited his disposition.


He had his reasons for carrying Gwendolen out of reach, but they were not reasons that can seem black in the mere statement. He suspected a growing spirit of opposition in her, and his feeling about the sentimental inclination she betrayed for Deronda was what in another man he would have called jealousy.

He had his reasons for carrying Gwendolen out of reach: he suspected a growing spirit of opposition in her, and his feeling about the inclination she betrayed for Deronda was what in another man he would have called jealousy.


In himself it seemed merely a resolution to put an end to such foolery as must have been going on in that prearranged visit of Deronda's which he had divined and interrupted.

In himself it seemed merely a resolution to put an end to such foolery.


And Grandcourt might have pleaded that he was perfectly justified in taking care that his wife should fulfill the obligations she had accepted.

And Grandcourt might have pleaded that he was perfectly justified in taking care that his wife should fulfil her obligations.


Her marriage was a contract where all the ostensible advantages were on her side, and it was only of those advantages that her husband should use his power to hinder her from any injurious self committal or unsuitable behavior.

Her marriage was a contract where all the apparent advantages were on her side, and it was only right for her husband to hinder her from any unsuitable behaviour.


He knew quite well that she had not married him--had not overcome her repugnance to certain facts--out of love to him personally; he had won her by the rank and luxuries he had to give her, and these she had got: he had fulfilled his side of the contract.

He knew quite well that she had not married him out of love; he had won her by the rank and luxuries he had to give her, and these she had got: he had fulfilled his side of the contract.


And Gwendolen, we know, was thoroughly aware of the situation.


She could not excuse herself by saying that there had been a tacit part of the contract on her side--namely, that she meant to rule and have her own way.

She could not excuse herself by saying that that she had meant to rule and have her own way.


With all her early indulgence in the disposition to dominate, she was not one of the narrow-brained women who through life regard all their own selfish demands as rights, and every claim upon themselves as an injury.

With all her early indulgence, she was not one of those narrow-brained women who regard all their own selfish demands as rights, and every claim upon themselves as an injury.


She had a root of conscience in her, and the process of purgatory had begun for her on the green earth: she knew that she had been wrong.

She had a root of conscience in her, and the process of purgatory had begun: she knew that she had been wrong.


But now enter into the soul of this young creature as she found herself, with the blue Mediterranean dividing her from the world, on the tiny plank-island of a yacht, the domain of the husband to whom she felt that she had sold herself, and had been paid the strict price--nay, paid more than she had dared to ask in the handsome maintenance of her mother:--the husband to whom she had sold her truthfulness and sense of justice, so that he held them throttled into silence, collared and dragged behind him to witness what he would, without remonstrance.

But now enter into the soul of this young creature as she found herself, with the blue Mediterranean dividing her from the world, on the tiny plank-island of a yacht, the domain of the husband to whom she had sold herself, and had been paid the strict price: the husband to whom she had sold her truth and justice, so that he held them throttled into silence, collared and dragged behind him, without remonstrance.


The yacht was of the prettiest; the cabin fitted up to perfection, smelling of cedar, soft-cushioned, hung with silk, expanded with mirrors; the crew such as suited an elegant toy, one of them having even ringlets, as well as a bronze complexion and fine teeth; and Mr. Lush was not there, for he had taken his way back to England as soon as he had seen all and everything on board.

The yacht was of the prettiest; the cabin fitted up to perfection, smelling of cedar, soft-cushioned, hung with silk, expanded with mirrors; the crew such as suited an elegant toy; and Mr. Lush was not there, for he had returned to England.


Moreover, Gwendolen herself liked the sea: it did not make her ill; and to observe the rigging of the vessel and forecast the necessary adjustments was a sort of amusement that might have gratified her activity and enjoyment of imaginary rule; the weather was fine, and they were coasting southward, where even the rain-furrowed, heat-cracked clay becomes gem-like with purple shadows, and where one may float between blue and blue in an open-eyed dream that the world has done with sorrow.

Moreover, Gwendolen liked the sea: it did not make her ill; and to observe the rigging of the vessel and forecast its adjustments was a sort of amusement that might have gratified her enjoyment of imaginary rule; the weather was fine, and they were coasting southward, where one may float between blue and blue in an open-eyed dream that the world has done with sorrow.


But what can still that hunger of the heart which sickens the eye for beauty, and makes sweet-scented ease an oppression?


What sort of Moslem paradise would quiet the terrible fury of moral repulsion and cowed resistance which, like an eating pain intensifying into torture, concentrates the mind in that poisonous misery?

What sort of paradise would quiet the terrible fury of repulsion, which, like a torture, concentrates the mind in poisonous misery?


While Gwendolen, throned on her cushions at evening, and beholding the glory of sea and sky softening as if with boundless love around her, was hoping that Grandcourt in his march up and down was not going to pause near her, not going to look at her or speak to her, some woman, under a smoky sky, obliged to consider the price of eggs in arranging her dinner, was listening for the music of a footstep that would remove all risk from her foretaste of joy; some couple, bending cheek by cheek, over a bit of work done by the one and delighted in by the other, were reckoning the earnings that would make them rich enough for a holiday among the furze and heather.

While Gwendolen, throned on her cushions at evening, and beholding the glory of sea and sky softening as if with boundless love around her, was hoping that Grandcourt in his march up and down was not going to pause near her or speak to her, some woman living in poverty, under a smoky sky, was listening for the music of a footstep that would remove all risk from her foretaste of joy.


Had Grandcourt the least conception of what was going on in the breast of his wife?

Had Grandcourt the least conception of what was going on in his wife's mind?


He conceived that she did not love him; but was that necessary?


She was under his power, and he was not accustomed to soothe himself, as some cheerfully-disposed persons are, with the conviction that he was very generally and justly beloved.


But what lay quite away from his conception was, that she could have any special repulsion for him personally.

But he did not understand that she could have any special repulsion for him personally.


He himself knew what personal repulsion was--nobody better; his mind was much furnished with a sense of what brutes his fellow-creatures were, both masculine and feminine; what odious familiarities they had, what smirks, what modes of flourishing their handkerchiefs, what costume, what lavender water, what bulging eyes, and what foolish notions of making themselves agreeable by remarks which were not wanted.

He himself knew what personal repulsion was - nobody better; his mind was much furnished with a sense of what brutes his fellow-creatures were, what odious familiarities they had, what smirks, what foolish modes of flourishing their handkerchiefs.


In this critical view of mankind there was an affinity between him and Gwendolen before their marriage, and we know that she had been attractingly wrought upon by the refined negations he presented to her.

In this critical view of mankind there was an affinity between him and Gwendolen before their marriage, and she was attracted by the refined negations he presented to her.


Hence he understood her repulsion for Lush.


But how was he to understand or conceive her present repulsion for Henleigh Grandcourt?

But how was he to understand her present repulsion for Henleigh Grandcourt?


Some men bring themselves to believe, and not merely maintain, the non-existence of an external world; a few others believe themselves objects of repulsion to a woman without being told so in plain language.


But Grandcourt did not belong to this eccentric body of thinkers.


He had all his life had reason to take a flattering view of his own attractiveness, and to place himself in fine antithesis to the men who, he saw at once, must be revolting to a woman of taste.

He had all his life had reason to take a flattering view of his own attractiveness to women of taste.


He had no idea of moral repulsion, and could not have believed, if he had been told it, that there may be a resentment and disgust which will gradually make beauty more detestable than ugliness, through exasperation at that outward virtue in which hateful things can flaunt themselves or find a supercilious advantage.

He had no idea of moral repulsion, and could not have believed that there may be a disgust which will gradually make beauty more detestable than ugliness, through exasperation at that outward advantage in which hateful things can affect superiority.


How, then, could Grandcourt divine what was going on in Gwendolen's breast?


For their behavior to each other scandalized no observer--not even the foreign maid, warranted against sea-sickness; nor Grandcourt's own experienced valet: still less the picturesque crew, who regarded them as a model couple in high life.

For their behaviour to each other scandalized no observer: the staff and crew regarded them as a model couple in high life.


Their companionship consisted chiefly in a well-bred silence.


Grandcourt had no humorous observations at which Gwendolen could refuse to smile, no chit-chat to make small occasions of dispute.

Grandcourt had no humorous observations at which Gwendolen could refuse to smile.


He was perfectly polite in arranging an additional garment over her when needful, and in handing her any object that he perceived her to need, and she could not fall into the vulgarity of accepting or rejecting such politeness rudely.

He was perfectly polite in arranging a garment over her when needful, and in handing her any object that he perceived her to need, and she could not fall into the vulgarity of rejecting such politeness rudely.


Grandcourt put up his telescope and said, "There's a plantation of sugar-canes at the foot of that rock; should you like to look?"

Grandcourt put up his telescope and said, "There's a plantation of sugar-canes there; should you like to look?"


Gwendolen said, "Yes, please," remembering that she must try and interest herself in sugar-canes as something outside her personal affairs.


Then Grandcourt would walk up and down and smoke for a long while, pausing occasionally to point out a sail on the horizon, and at last would seat himself and look at Gwendolen with his narrow immovable gaze, as if she were part of the complete yacht; while she, conscious of being looked at was exerting her ingenuity not to meet his eyes.

Then Grandcourt would walk up and down and smoke, pausing occasionally to point out a sail on the horizon, and at last would seat himself and look at Gwendolen with his narrow immovable gaze, as if she were part of the yacht; while she was exerting her ingenuity not to meet his eyes.


At dinner he would remark that the fruit was getting stale, and they must put in somewhere for more; or, observing that she did not drink the wine, he asked her if she would like any other kind better.

At dinner he would remark that the fruit was getting stale, and they must put in somewhere for more; or, observing that she did not drink the wine, asked if she would like another kind better.


A lady was obliged to respond to these things suitably; and even if she had not shrunk from quarrelling on other grounds, quarreling with Grandcourt was impossible; she might as well have made angry remarks to a dangerous serpent ornamentally coiled in her cabin without invitation.

A lady was obliged to respond to these things suitably; and in any case, quarrelling with Grandcourt was impossible; she might as well have made angry remarks to a dangerous serpent ornamentally coiled in her cabin.


And what sort of dispute could a woman of any pride and dignity begin on a yacht?


Grandcourt had intense satisfaction in leading his wife captive after this fashion; it gave their life on a small scale a royal representation and publicity in which every thing familiar was got rid of, and every body must do what was expected of them whatever might be their private protest--the protest (kept strictly private) adding to the piquancy of despotism.

Grandcourt had intense satisfaction in leading his wife captive after this fashion; it gave their life on a small scale a royal representation which satisfied his taste for despotism.


To Gwendolen, who even in the freedom of her maiden time, had had very faint glimpses of any heroism or sublimity, the medium that now thrust itself everywhere before her view was this husband and her relation to him.

To Gwendolen, the medium that now thrust itself everywhere before her view was this husband and her relation to him.


The beings closest to us, whether in love or hate, are often virtually our interpreters of the world, and some feather-headed gentleman or lady whom in passing we regret to take as legal tender for a human being, may be acting as a melancholy theory of life in the minds of those who live with them--like a piece of yellow and wavy glass that distorts form and makes color an affliction. Their trivial sentences, their petty standards, their low suspicions, their loveless _ennui_, may be making somebody else's life no better than a promenade through a pantheon of ugly idols.

The beings closest to us, whether in love or hate, are often our interpreters of the world, and some feather-headed gentleman or lady who barely passes for a human being, with petty standards, low suspicions and loveless boredom, may be acting as a melancholy theory of life in the minds of those who live with them.


Gwendolen had that kind of window before her, affecting the distant equally with the near.

Gwendolen had that kind of window before her.


Some unhappy wives are soothed by the possibility that they may become mothers; but Gwendolen felt that to desire a child for herself would have been a consenting to the completion of the injury she had been guilty of.

Some unhappy wives are soothed by the possibility of becoming mothers; but Gwendolen felt that to desire a child would have meant consenting to the completion of the injury she had been guilty of.


She was reduced to dread lest she should become a mother.


It was not the image of a new sweetly-budding life that came as a vision of deliverance from the monotony of distaste: it was an image of another sort. In the irritable, fluctuating stages of despair, gleams of hope came in the form of some possible accident.

It was not the image of a new sweetly-budding life that came as a vision of deliverance: her only gleams of hope came in the form of some possible accident.


To dwell on the benignity of accident was a refuge from worse temptation.

To dwell on an accident was a refuge from worse temptation.


The embitterment of hatred is often as unaccountable to onlookers as the growth of devoted love, and it not only seems but is really out of direct relation with any outward causes to be alleged.

The embitterment of hatred is often, like devoted love, out of direct relation with any outward causes.


Passion is of the nature of seed, and finds nourishment within, tending to a predominance which determines all currents toward itself, and makes the whole life its tributary.

Passion finds nourishment within, directs all currents toward itself, and makes the whole life its tributary.


And the intensest form of hatred is that rooted in fear, which compels to silence and drives vehemence into a constructive vindictiveness, an imaginary annihilation of the detested object, something like the hidden rites of vengeance with which the persecuted have made a dark vent for their rage, and soothed their suffering into dumbness.

And the intensest form of hatred is that rooted in fear, which compels to silence and leads to an imaginary annihilation of the detested object, like hidden rites of vengeance.


Such hidden rites went on in the secrecy of Gwendolen's mind, but not with soothing effect--rather with the effect of a struggling terror.

Such rites went on in the secrecy of Gwendolen's mind, with the effect of a struggling terror.


Side by side with the dread of her husband had grown the self-dread, which urged her to flee from the pursuing images wrought by her pent-up impulse.

Side by side with the dread of her husband had grown the self-dread, which urged her to flee from the images wrought by her pent-up impulse.


The vision of her past wrong-doing, and what it had brought on her, came with a pale ghastly illumination over every imagined deed that was a rash effort at freedom, such as she had made in her marriage.

The vision of her past wrong-doing cast a ghastly illumination over every imagined deed that was a rash effort at freedom.


Moreover, she had learned to see all her acts through the impression they would make on Deronda: whatever relief might come to her, she could not sever it from the judgment of her that would be created in his mind.

Moreover, she had learned to see all her acts through the impression they would make on Deronda, and the judgment of her that would be created in his mind.


Not one word of flattery, of indulgence, of dependence on her favor, could be fastened on by her in all their intercourse, to weaken his restraining power over her (in this way Deronda's effort over himself was repaid); and amid the dreary uncertainties of her spoiled life the possible remedies that lay in his mind, nay, the remedy that lay in her feeling for him, made her only hope.

She could not recall one word of flattery or indulgence from him that might weaken his restraining power over her (in this way Deronda's effort over himself was repaid); and amid the dreary uncertainties of her spoiled life, the possible remedies in his mind, and her feeling for him, made her only hope.


He seemed to her a terrible-browed angel, from whom she could not think of concealing any deed so as to win an ignorant regard from him: it belonged to the nature of their relation that she should be truthful, for his power over her had begun in the raising of a self-discontent which could be satisfied only by genuine change.

He seemed to her a terrible-browed angel, from whom she could not think of concealing any deed.


But in no concealment had she now any confidence: her vision of what she had to dread took more decidedly than ever the form of some fiercely impulsive deed, committed as in a dream that she would instantaneously wake from to find the effects real though the images had been false: to find death under her hands, but instead of darkness, daylight; instead of satisfied hatred, the dismay of guilt; instead of freedom, the palsy of a new terror--a white dead face from which she was forever trying to flee and forever held back.

But her vision of what she had to dread took more decidedly than ever the form of some fiercely impulsive deed, committed as in a dream that she would instantaneously wake from to find the effects: to find death under her hands, guilt and terror - a white dead face from which she was forever trying to flee and forever held back.


She remembered Deronda's words: they were continually recurring in her thought,

She remembered Deronda's words: they were continually recurring in her thought-


Keep your dread fixed on the idea of increasing your remorse.


* * * Take your fear as a safeguard. It is like quickness of hearing. It may make consequences passionately present to you."

Take your fear as a safeguard, like quickness of hearing, that will warn you of consequences."


In Gwendolen's consciousness temptation and dread met and stared like two pale phantoms, each seeing itself in the other--each obstructed by its own image; and all the while her fuller self beheld the apparitions and sobbed for deliverance from them.

In Gwendolen's consciousness temptation and dread met and stared like two pale phantoms, while her fuller self beheld the apparitions and sobbed for deliverance from them.


Inarticulate prayers, no more definite than a cry, often swept out from her into the vast silence, unbroken except by her husband's breathing or the plash of the wave or the creaking of the masts; but if ever she thought of definite help, it took the form of Deronda's presence and words, of the sympathy he might have for her, of the direction he might give her.

Inarticulate prayers often swept out from her into the vast silence, unbroken except by her husband's breathing or the plash of the wave; but if ever she thought of help, it took the form of Deronda's presence and words, of his sympathy and direction.


It was sometimes after a white-lipped fierce-eyed temptation with murdering fingers had made its demon-visit that these best moments of inward crying and clinging for rescue would come to her, and she would lie with wide-open eyes in which the rising tears seemed a blessing, and the thought, "I will not mind if I can keep from getting wicked," seemed an answer to the indefinite prayer.

It was sometimes after a white-lipped temptation with murdering fingers had made its demon-visit that these best moments of inward crying for rescue would come to her, and she would lie with wide-open eyes in which the rising tears seemed a blessing, and the thought, "I will not mind if I can keep from getting wicked," seemed an answer to her prayer.


So the days passed, taking with them light breezes beyond and about the Balearic Isles, and then to Sardinia, and then with gentle change persuading them northward again toward Corsica.

So the days passed, taking them with light breezes about the Balearic Isles, and then to Sardinia, and then persuading them northward toward Corsica.


But this floating, gentle-wafted existence, with its apparently peaceful influences, was becoming as bad as a nightmare to Gwendolen.

But this peaceful, gentle-wafted existence was becoming a nightmare to Gwendolen.


she ventured to ask one day after they had been touching at Ajaccio, and the mere fact of change in going ashore had given her a relief from some of the thoughts which seemed now to cling about the very rigging of the vessel, mix with the air in the red silk cabin below, and make the smell of the sea odious.

she ventured to ask one day after they had touched at Ajaccio, and the mere fact of going ashore was a relief.


I don't see why we shouldn't stay out any length of time.


"Oh, no," said Gwendolen, indifferently, finding all places alike undescribable as soon as she imagined herself and her husband in them.

"Oh, no," said Gwendolen, indifferently, finding all places alike undescribable as soon as she imagined her husband in them.


"I only wondered how long you would like this."


"I like yachting longer than anything else," said Grandcourt; "and I had none last year.

"I like yachting longer than anything else," said Grandcourt.


"I suppose you are beginning to tire of it.


They expect everything to give way to them."


said Gwendolen, letting out her scorn in a flute-like tone.


said Grandcourt, with his inward voice, looking at her, and then choosing an orange--for they were at table.


She made up her mind to a length of yachting that she could not see beyond; but the next day, after a squall which had made her rather ill for the first time, he came down to her and said,

She made up her mind to a length of yachting that she could not see beyond; but the next day, after a squall which had made her rather ill for the first time, he said-


"There's been the devil's own work in the night.


The skipper says we shall have to stay at Genoa for a week while things are set right."


said Gwendolen, who lay looking very white amidst her white drapery.

said Gwendolen, who lay looking very white.


"It will be a change," said Gwendolen, made a little incautious by her languor.

"It will be a change," said Gwendolen, made a little incautious.


Besides, the place is intolerable; and one can't move along the roads.