"He, too, must take poor Frederick for some lover." (She blushed as the word passed through her mind.) "I see it now. It is not merely that he knows of my falsehood, but he believes that some one else cares for me; and that I---- Oh dear!--oh dear! What shall I do? What do I mean? Why do I care what he thinks, beyond the mere loss of his good opinion as regards my telling the truth or not? I cannot tell. But I am very miserable! Oh, how unhappy this last year has been! I have passed out of childhood into old age. I have had no youth--no womanhood; the hopes of womanhood have closed for me--for I shall never marry; and I anticipate cares and sorrows just as if I were an old woman, and with the same tearful spirit. I am weary of this continual call upon me for strength. I could bear up for papa; because that is a natural, pious duty. And I think I could bear up against--at any rate, I could have the energy to resent, Mrs. Thornton's unjust, impertinent suspicions. But it is hard to feel how completely he must misunderstand me. What has happened to make me so morbid to-day? I do not know. I only know I cannot help it. I must give way sometimes. No, I will not though," said she, springing to her feet. "I will not--I _will_ not think of myself and my own position. I won't examine into my own feelings. It would be of no use now. Some time, if I live to be an old woman, I may sit over the fire, and looking into the embers, see the life that might have been."

'He, too, must take poor Frederick for some lover. I see it now. It is not merely that he knows of my falsehood, but he believes that I - Oh dear! Oh dear! What shall I do? Why do I care what he thinks? I cannot tell. But I am very miserable! Oh, how unhappy this last year has been! I have passed out of childhood into old age. The hopes of womanhood have closed for me - I shall never marry. I feel as worn-down and fearful as an old woman; I am weary of this continual call upon me for strength. I could bear up for papa; and I think I could bear up against Mrs. Thornton's unjust suspicions. But it is hard to feel how completely he must misunderstand me. Why am I so morbid today? I do not know. I only know I cannot help it. I must give way sometimes. No, I will not, though,' said she, springing to her feet. 'I will not think of myself. I won't examine my own feelings. It would be of no use. If I live to be an old woman, then I may sit over the fire, and looking into the embers, see the life that might have been.'
