<s>[INST] Hi, I have manic depression and I have had plenty of treatment, but I just don t feel I am getting better, I will admit that I thought I was doing well at one stage but then I nearly lost my dad in a heart operation and I just went spiraling back down into the dark cloud again. My family, friends and work colleagues think I am doing better, I tell people that I am doing better just so they stop worrying about me, but honestly I have never been so bad, all I think about is my own death and how no one would care. I just don t think I can speak up again and admit that I need help. I cant put my family through this heartache again. I don t know what to do. I even tell my doctor that I am fine. Can you please offer some advise. [/INST] Hello, Thanks for choosing Chat Doctor for posting your query.YOu're developing a bipolar mood disorder is none of your fault and hence you don't need to hide it. You need to be frank about your illness and about your needs. There are plenty of therapies available for bipolar mood disorder. If you are not responding to one particular treatment then in that case you should approach your psychiatrist to start you on the next possible treatment. And believe me that they are more safe than they are generally discussed . Do visit your psychiatrist and be frank in discussing your problems. Wish you speedy recovery and good health. </s>