"No no, oh I see, what you want me to do, what I want to do in life." "Well my aspiration is to, uh, oh I don’t know, be in a teen tit film like that guy who played Horatio. “Aspirations? You know he was in Malibu Bikini Beach Shop,” he says.
– Ever wondered what a young Ted Cruz looked and sounded like (and no worries, no Princess Bride impersonations)? A circulating YouTube video, which Politico says was apparently provided by a high school classmate, purports to show the 18-year-old GOP candidate mulling his future. "Aspirations? Is that like sweat on my butt?" Cruz ponders in the video—which Raw Story says was shot for his Baptist high school in Houston in 1988—before offering up his first goal to "be in a teen tit film." Upon further reflection, however, Cruz realizes he should set the bar higher. "Well, other than that, uh, take over the world, world domination, you know, rule everything," he notes. "Rich, powerful, that sort of stuff." Although some reviews of the video aren't terribly flattering—Raw Story labels young Ted Cruz "irritating and horrible," while Gawker calls his less-mature self an "insufferable twerp"—Cruz's campaign spokesman tells Politico: "Good to see he's always had a great sense of humor." (Mother Jones documents Cruz's various beefs with people to see if he's really an "awful, terrible jerk.")