 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Dallas Swonger wants the world to just know one thing. Dallas Swonger 
 
 The Portland teen is in the hot seat after surveillance video supposedly captured him taking a leak in a city reservoir early Wednesday morning, prompting officials to flush 38 million gallons of drinking water down the drain. In an exclusive, expletive-filled interview with Vocativ outside his mother’s home Thursday, the 18-year-old insisted that his piss never trickled into Portland’s drinking supply. In the free-flowing, profanity-laced conversation with former Oregonian reporter Shane Dixon Kavanaugh, Delynn said he did not urinate in the water: 
 
 “Everybody thinks it’s funny and a joke and I’m going to be on the news,” he says, flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby bush. “It’s a public relations decision," he said. I don’t want people thinkin’ that Dallas is a dumb ass because he pissed in the fuckin’ water. In our drinking water. Yeah, that’s fucking awesome. He says he had moved back to town that very day from St. Helens, which is 30 miles north of Portland, where he had been living with his dad. “So I just went over to the wall [of the reservoir].” 
 
 “I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it,” he says. That’s their right.” 
 
 -- Anna Griffin “The urine, which has very few microorganisms to begin with, would be very, very, very, very diluted.” 
 
 Still, city officials say, any risk is too much. “How can they be like, ‘Yeah, we’re gonna flush all that water.’ Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I’ve see hella dead animals in there. I mean, really, dude?” 
 
 Yes, really. Portland Water Bureau officials are working with the Multnomah County District Attorney to determine whether there are criminal charges to be filed. Tabor Reservoir system tested clean of urine-related toxins Thursday, news that came as no surprise to Water Bureau administrators yet also did not change their decision to dump 38 million gallons after a man peed in the Southeast Portland storage pool a day earlier. She adds: “I’m sorry, he just graduated from high school. "I wouldn’t waste all that water, all that money.” 
 
 Craford would not speculate whether the water board he’s proposing would feel the same.
– The Portland teen accused of peeing in a city reservoir on Wednesday insists he didn't do it—in a relatively NSFW defense. "Yeah, it's f---ing retarded, dude," 18-year-old Dallas Swonger tells Vocativ in what the site calls an "expletive-filled interview" given as Swonger smoked a Newport cigarette. "I didn't piss in the f---ing water." He explains that he did urinate, after a night of skateboarding at Mount Tabor Park, but he did so against the wall of the reservoir, not into the reservoir. "I was like, 'Dudes I have to piss so bad.' So I just went over to the wall. I leaned up against the wall and pissed on it. Right there on the wall, dude. I don’t know else how to describe it." Officials beg to differ (a Water Bureau official got very specific about it, saying that surveillance video showed Swonger making sure "to get his little wee wee right up to the iron bars"), and thus decided to dump 38 million gallons of water, but Swonger notes that even if his urine had made it into the water, he doesn't see what the big deal is. "Dude, I’ve seen dead birds in there. During the summer time I've see hella dead animals in there. Like dead squirrels and s---. I mean, really, dude?" Vocativ also got amusing quotes from Swonger's mom ("I’m sorry, he just graduated from high school. He’s trying to get his stuff together") and one of the friends skateboarding with him that night ("He just doesn’t make the best decisions. Honestly, he has the potential to do really good"). Possible criminal charges are still pending, the Oregonian notes. The paper also reports that the water tested clean of urine-related toxins, but all 38 million gallons will still be dumped.