“Every day is just one day,” Sheen said at the top of the show. “That’s how I feel as a journalist.” 
 
 Me, too, but here’s the straightest scoop deliverable: The show began with a stream-of-consciousness monologue about Sheen’s hatred of ex-wives and his failure to secure sole custody of his children earlier in the day. We bought tickets, didn’t we?” 
 
 Since this was Washington, Griffiths asked Sheen how he’d handle Libyan dictator Moammar Gaddafi (“I’d make him marry [my ex-wives] Brooke and Denise”) and about what he’d defund to balance the budget (disband the Fed and “send the IRS to prison”).
– Charlie Sheen may have alienated his "truther" fans, but it looks like he'll be able to replace them with birthers. Politics was on the agenda when Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth" tour hit Washington, DC, Tuesday night and the actor got plenty of cheers when he raised the birth certificate issue, reports the Washington Post. "For starters, I was f**king born here, how about that? And I got proof!" Sheen said. "Nothing Photoshopped about my birth certificate." Sheen—observing that a poll shows him beating "that lunatic from Alaska" Sarah Palin—discussed the possibility of a presidential bid, with Nicolas Cage as his running mate, Politico reports. President Sheen would legalize pot, "send the IRS to prison," and deal with Moammar Gadhafi by sending ex-wife Denise Richards and soon-to-be-ex-wife Brooke Mueller to Libya. "If I run for president and win, country music is illegal," Sheen told the crowd.