( CNN ) -- I promised myself that I would n't do it . I was n't going to jump in to the whole Miley Cyrus circus . No siree . The pond was full . The seats were all taken . Social media was in overdrive . And everyone 's been far too distracted . I , for one , was not about to enter the twerkosphere . But dang , it 's like a train wreck , is n't it ? Candidly , I have n't been all that bad . Honest . But I have kept up to speed on many of the conversations taking place . Shame on Miley . Shame on her parents . Shame on MTV . Shame on censors . Shame on people who are shaming people . Shame , shame , shame . But the one person who seems to have flown under the shame radar is Miley 's partner in debauchery , Robin Thicke . As a dad and husband in this story , it seems to me he should be held as accountable -- if not more -- for this ridiculous national spectacle and its aftermath as a 20-year-old girl . Let 's rewind : I actually saw the performance . Our television -- which is usually on ESPN -- was uncharacteristically tuned to MTV the other night so my 17-year-old son and I could watch what we heard was going to be a pretty awesome Justin Timberlake performance . Well , we enjoyed the JT treat . And , yup , we also got more of Miley than we bargained for . Outraged parents : Why Miley Cyrus ' performance sets girls and women back . Sure , from my middle-aged vantage point , it was gross , inappropriate , and downright offensive . But let 's be honest , so much of what our kids are exposed to is just that . Everywhere . And if you think otherwise , take an inventory of advertising , television shows , music lyrics , teen magazines , social media and virtually everything associated with the Internet . I 'm not condoning or supporting it . But I do accept it as a reality . I 've also come to believe there are gray areas -- or to use Miley 's performing partner , Robin Thicke 's words , blurred lines -- in life . Especially when we 're tempted to pass judgment on others . There 's especially a lot of those fuzzy areas with kids as they navigate their way to adulthood . Maybe that 's why I 'm more forgiving and understanding of Miley than others . She 's 20 . In my book , that still makes her a kid . I have two of my own around her age . To me , she 's just one of the gang . Miley Cyrus upholds MTV VMAs tradition . I 've spent a lot of time around teens and young adults in my life . And many of them make crazy mistakes along the way . They say ignorant things . They do things that they 'll regret . But , as best as I can tell , they usually turn out fine . My kids were glued to Miley 's Hannah Montana years and I think she 's one incredibly talented person . Even some of her new stuff is fine . Is she going overboard with this apparent mission to prove she 's an adult ? Seems so . But who I am to judge ? As a dad , I can only hope she finds her way through her own blurred lines and gets to the other side healthy . And a little wiser . But I do believe there are other places in life where the lines are black and white . Just like the stripes on Mr. Thicke 's fun costume the other night . And , truthfully , I think he 's the one that crossed a line . A big thick one . It 's the line that says while we can have fun , men must know the difference between respect and disrespect when it comes to how we treat women . I find it ironic that so many people talk about how Miley will look back on all this with embarrassment in the future . I do n't know if that will ever happen . And I do n't know that I care . If Miley Cyrus outrages you , do n't watch . But I do care that Mr. Thicke ( who I also think is an awesome artist ) seems to have abdicated his responsibility ( as a man -- not a celebrity ) to model respectable behavior towards women . He 's 36 . He 's a dad . And I 'm guessing he 's a pretty dandy dad and husband . I mean , come on , his own father was Jason Seaver of `` Growing Pains '' ! I 'm not an MTV producer , but I 'm pretty confident Mr. Thicke knew exactly how that performance was going to go down . Foam fingers , package grabbing , twerking , Miley backing herself into his hips like he was an open garage door , and the rest of the mess . He 's a man . He 's a dad . Just like the rest of us . And we all owe it to our kids to act and show them where the blurred lines go away . And a special note to my 17-year-old son : I know we both rolled our eyes the other night when we watched Miley . It was pretty awkward to see her act that way . We all do dumb things and I hope you know I 'll always give you plenty of room to make mistakes and find your way to adulthood . As you can guess , I 'd appreciate it if you kept from anything involving twerking on national television . And please limit your use of foam fingers to sporting events . But if I ever see or hear of you crossing that very real line about how to treat a woman -- or any human being for that matter -- do n't expect such open-mindedness from me . There 's no such thing as a blurred line when it comes to respect . As your dad , I take that one very seriously .
Jim Higley bore the brunt of public outcry after a salacious MTV performance . Her singing partner during the show , Robin Thicke , has n't faced as much scrutiny . Fatherhood writer Miley Cyrus says that as a man , Miley Cyrus dropped the ball . Thicke says as a husband , father and human Thicke should have had more respect .