( CNN ) -- As media outlets Monday circulated security-camera video of Ray Rice punching his then-fiancee in a hotel elevator , many wondered why the woman -- now his wife -- would remain with the fallen NFL star . The answers came in a rush , on Twitter . By Tuesday the social media platform was flooded with affecting stories from women explaining why they remained in abusive relationships and why they finally left . The outpouring was collected under two hashtags , # WhyIStayed and # WhyILeft . Writer and domestic abuse survivor Beverly Gooden said she started the campaign # WhyIStayed on Monday because she wanted to `` change the tone of the conversation . '' Gooden said she married her husband after he hit her because she loved him -- and , she wanted to `` protect '' him . `` I was thinking about him and not myself , and I think that 's the story of a lot of people out there , '' she said . `` The hashtag shows that there are people out there who have lived this , and like me , have come out of this . '' By Tuesday afternoon , the hashtag had been used more than 46,000 times , according to Web analytics tool Topsy , captivating participants and observers alike . The tweets came in response to stark footage showing Rice knocking out Janay Palmer in February in an Atlantic City , New Jersey , hotel elevator . The video shows him knocking her to the floor and then dragging her unconscious body out of the elevator . Why I stayed : My domestic abuse story . The couple went forward with their plans to marry . Rice underwent pretrial diversion instead of facing criminal charges , and the NFL suspended him for two games -- a punishment criticized by many as too lenient . But the incident returned to the the spotlight Monday with the release of the elevator video . Amid the public outcry , people began asking questions about Janay Rice 's motivations . Why did n't she leave ? Why did she marry him ? Why did she stay ? Janay Rice posted a statement on Instagram on Tuesday defending her husband and criticizing the media and the public for making her family `` relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday . '' And on Twitter , the stories reflected many of the reasons domestic violence victims stay in abusive relationships . Eventually , people began sharing why they left , in an evolution that added dimension to the conversation , feminist and media critic Jill Filipovic said . Hashtag campaigns often focus on `` raising awareness '' without providing solutions or activist strategies , Filipovic said . When it comes to helping women in abusive relationships , we need to understand why they stay in the first place , `` instead of contributing to the stigma of staying by shaking our heads and asking why , '' she said . If a woman knows that her actions will be picked apart `` she has little incentive to rock the boat and make a change , '' Filipovic said . `` The power of this hashtag is that abuse survivors volunteered the answer to the 'why did she stay ? ' question so that , hopefully , friends and family members of other survivors wo n't have to ask they can just provide support . '' The reasons women stay in abusive relationships are `` complex and varied , '' said Sandra Hawken Diaz of Interval House , a Toronto women 's shelter . `` Too many people assume that if a woman is in an abusive relationship that she is making a choice to stay , and that she has the power to end the abuse if she just leaves , '' she said . `` We need to begin to understand , support and believe victims -- not blame them . `` Instead of asking why does n't she just leave , we should be asking different questions when we read those headlines . We should be asking , 'Why is he abusive ? ' or 'How can we break the cycle of violence ? ' or 'How can I support her to be safe ? ' '' Fear is one reason partners stay , especially if children are involved , said Katie Ray-Jones , chief executive officer of the National Domestic Violence Hotline . Ray-Jones , who is not connected with the Rice incident , offered some general thoughts on what motivates victims of domestic violence when it comes to staying in the relationship or leaving . `` The fear a woman feels is real . The threats her partner makes are real . When a woman 's husband tells her he will kill her if she leaves , she believes that . We all know it is possible , we see the stories on TV and the Internet , '' she said . In most domestic violence situations , the abusive partner blames the victim and the victim believes it , Ray-Jones said . `` Outside the home , this man appears to be a great man . Many woman describe it as Dr. Jekyll/Mr . Hyde : 'Great guy to everyone else , so I must be the problem , ' '' she said . Ray Rice 's fame could have affected his wife 's decision-making , Ray-Jones said . `` I ca n't imagine how Janay Rice may have felt . Fans were blaming her on social media , sportscasters made comments somehow indicating she must have provoked the violence , and then she has to sit next to her abuser and apologize , '' Ray-Jones said , referring to a press conference earlier this year . `` We would never ask a person who was mugged on the street to apologize for walking down the street where their assailant was . '' Love and hope also can play into the dynamic , she said . The abusive partner is not abusive all the time , and the victim sees the person with whom she fell in love . `` Victims remember how it used to be and they see that person throughout the relationship . The abusive partner continues to tell them that they will change , that the abuse will not happen again , '' she said . `` Everyone deserves a relationship that is based on dignity and respect . We want victims to be able to reach out and talk to an advocate so they know they have choices . ''
Daughter of CNN 's Ray Rice punching future wife prompts questions about her husband . Women are sharing stories of domestic abuse , using hashtags . A woman started # WhyIStayed to explain why women stay in abusive relationships . Experts : Reasons women stay in abusive relationships are ` ` varied and complex ''