( The Frisky ) -- Your passive-aggressive aunt bought you a Match.com subscription for Christmas . While your first impulse was to hit her with a brick , you 've always been curious about online dating . `` What the heck ? '' you figure . `` I 'll write an ad and take a look around . '' But when you 're on your own in virtual reality , the search for computer-generated love can be daunting . Here are the top online dating types to avoid . Torso tosser : This dude is super proud of his abs -- or at least the photo of Brad Pitt 's abs that he 's pretending are his -- yet he refuses to show his face . This means one of three things : he 's married , otherwise engaged , and/or does n't want his wife's/girlfriend 's friends busting him cheating . Or maybe he 's unapologetically searching for someone to have a purely physical relationship with and wants a woman who feels the same way ( which is fine , but do n't expect flowers or romance from this guy ) . The other possibility ? His face is so hideous , it would melt a camera lens . Whichever the case may be : Next ! Kliché King : He 's `` tired of the bar scene , '' does n't like `` game-players , '' never met a `` long walk on the beach '' that he did n't enjoy or a sunset that did n't make him weep with joy . He firmly believes beautiful flowers grow from stinky cow dung and is as comfortable in a worn pair of jeans as he is in a tuxedo . If you 're OK with spending an evening with someone whose idea of wooing you is advising you to make lemonade out of his lemons , you 're a match made in heaven . Otherwise , keep on clicking . Carpet bomber : These guys are n't looking for someone special . They 're looking for someone . Anyone . They cast a wide net , sending out winks and notes to anything remotely female in their path . Consequently , their messages tend to read as if they 've been written by a dull-witted robot : . Dear [ Your Profile Name Here ] , . You are a beautiful lady that I want to know better . Please meet me for coffee or cocktails . I am free today . Looking forward to your response . John Q . Public . Ayn Rand fan : The kind of guy who lists `` The Fountainhead '' as his favorite book is telling you something . He probably works in finance . The last book he read was `` The Fountainhead '' and that was in ninth grade when we all had to read it . He 's likely a selfish jerk who 's overly concerned with buck-making and under-concerned with anyone who 's less fortunate than himself . Charming ! Finicky freak : Even though he 's 45 , he 's only interested in women between 18 and 27 . Miss Right must possess naturally red hair ( shoulder length or longer , please ) and a full C-cup . He 's somewhat flexible with his height requirement -- as long as you 're between 5 feet 6 inches and 6 feet -- but you absolutely can not weigh over 110 pounds , regardless of your height . If you want to be his girlfriend/doormat , you must have at least a BA -- preferably an MBA -- but not a Ph.D. ( because that would mean you 're smarter than him ) . You must enjoy working out ( often ) , skipping meals , and laughing at his ( no doubt humor-free ) jokes . Run in the other direction . TM & © 2009 TMV , Inc. | All Rights Reserved .
Steer clear of these duds in the online dating pool , author urges . Guy who posts pix of his abs : " I'm not a model or anything like that! " The ads that are so general they attract anyone -- because that 's who he dates . ` ` The Fountainhead '' fan is overly concerned with making money .