( CNN ) -- All the traditional elements were in place for Joseph and Fiona Long 's 2009 New Year 's Eve wedding . She wore a white dress ; he wore a tuxedo and her family wore kilts in honor of her Scottish heritage . After they exchanged vows and rings and sealed the deal with a kiss , an officiant in a black robe pronounced them husband and wife . Then , they dined and danced the night away at an Atlanta country club with their closest friends and loved ones , culminating in a midnight confetti drop . Missing from the guest list : God . The Longs are atheists who did not want gods or religious texts involved in their marriage celebration . But apart from the non-church setting , the only hint at an deliberately non-religious wedding was contained within their vows and readings . These included selections from Shakespeare , Robert Burns and the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage , which they felt `` beautifully expressed the social and secular significance of marriage without any appeal to religion , '' said Joseph Long , a lawyer in Tampa , Florida . `` We felt it made the point well that you can have the sanctity of marriage without having to fit into a particular group , '' he said . `` It basically states that marriage is extremely important in society for a variety of reasons , regardless of what someone 's god thinks about it . '' As secularism continues to rise in the United States , more couples like the Longs are deviating from a traditional wedding blueprint that includes prayers , blessings and biblical passages . `` A secular wedding can be exactly like a religious wedding with two key differences : no mention of any deities and no recitation of supposedly sacred texts , '' said David G. McAfee , author of `` Mom , Dad , I 'm an Atheist : The Guide to Coming Out as a Non-Believer and Disproving Christianity and other Secular Writings . '' `` Many secular weddings have vows , flowers , rings , a reception , a kiss at the end , '' he continued . `` Although most religions have incorporated marriage rules and ceremonies into their faiths , the act of marriage itself is not a religious one ; it 's a human one . '' Venues , readings and vows are just some considerations for atheist couples or couples planning secular weddings . Others struggle with how to break the news to relatives or meet their demands , especially if those loved ones are helping pay for it . Some couples provide relatives with opportunities to say a few words within set parameters during the ceremony or reception , said Ed Buckner , former president of American Atheists and current chair of the Atlanta Freethought Society . He has performed several atheist weddings over the past decade and emphasizes that it 's important to talk about it ahead of time , openly and honestly . `` You need to stop and think about what you want to accomplish . Are you trying to publicly commit to a lifelong union with your partner on your terms , or do you want to please others ? '' he said . `` I would argue that if you do n't believe in God and have God blessing the celebration , you 're participating in a sham . But , there are ways to to acknowledge God for others , if that 's what you want , '' Buckner advised . Give fair warning . Buying a home was more important to Wendy Rank and her fiance than spending big bucks on a wedding . Instead , they went to a justice of the peace in September `` for the official stuff '' and held a `` picnic wedding '' in their backyard later in the day . Her mother paid for catering while more local guests brought side dishes . `` We wanted to get married , but we 're not really comfortable with doing it in a church and all that stuff , '' Rank said . `` We 're introverts , so we did n't want a big wedding . Just a few friends and family . This way , we had a wedding and a housewarming party . '' They wanted to keep it simple and inexpensive for everyone . Rank comes from a family of believers , so she felt like she needed to warn them on the wedding invitation with a message to the effect of : `` This is a small , nontraditional secular service . If you 're comfortable with that , we 'd love to have you . '' Most relatives ended up coming , though no one who did n't show up explicitly cited the secular event as the reason . `` We wanted to put it out there so no one would book a flight and fly 3,000 miles expecting a pastor and a ceremony . '' It worked out for the guests as well ; several of her mother 's religious friends said they enjoyed the wedding it because it was `` short and sweet . '' Rank 's sister and brother-in-law did a reading from Calvin and Hobbes before the couple exchanged rings and planted a tree -- their twist on a unity candle . `` No one said anything or seemed to or care that it was secular or atheist wedding , '' said Rank , who lives outside Nashville , Tennessee . `` It was a perfect day . '' Elope now , wedding later . Darren and Sheena Thomas are proud atheists who met on the dating site OK Cupid . Both come from deeply religious families . As the son of a nondenominational Christian pastor , Darren Thomas grew up going on mission trips and attending church camp . At 16 , he stopped going to church and became the black sheep of the family . In his 20s , he started identifying as atheist , meaning he does n't believe in `` anything supernatural : God , the afterlife , ghosts , spirits , supernatural souls , anything like that . '' When he came out to his parents , they tried to convince him to return to Christianity for a period of time . Eventually , his father acknowledged that there was nothing he could say or do and decided it was up to God to change his son 's mind . He would always love and support his son . Still , after Darren proposed to Sheena in February , it was hard to tell his father that he did n't want him to perform the wedding . `` I tried to frame it in a positive light ; I told him I wanted him to enjoy it without having to work it , '' said Darren Thomas , a high school English teacher . `` But we 're pretty passionate about our beliefs , and we want to have a secular service with no mention of God , Jesus , eternity or blessings . '' Growing up in West , Texas , Sheena Thomas and her family were pretty much the only people of color , so religion was a way for her to fit in , make friends and be part of a community . In college , she was exposed to a broad swath of faiths , ethnicities and sexual orientations . Sheena began to question her own beliefs and came to realize that atheism felt right for her . Her family still struggles with this decision ; her mother periodically laments that she wo n't see her daughter in the afterlife , and her grandparents say they are praying for her . She keeps discussion of religion to a minimum . Their attitude toward religion contributed in part to the couple 's decision to elope in August , about a year before they 'd originally planned to have a wedding . Everyone knew the couple had gotten engaged in February , but when Sheena Thomas lost her job , they decided to get legally married without the celebration . `` We basically decided that it would be easier to tell everyone after the fact , '' Darren Thomas said . The Thomases made it official and then brought a wedding photographer to Denver 's Red Rock amphitheater , the site of their first date in 2011 . They still plan on throwing a book-themed wedding in July 2014 to celebrate their relationship and their shared passion . Sheena , a librarian , is working on bouquets and centerpieces of book pages , and the save-the-dates are made from old library due date cards . The Thomases have n't decided on readings , but they 're leaning toward some of their favorite texts related to love and romance . Darren 's looking at something from `` Jane Eyre '' or `` Love in the Time of Cholera . '' For Sheena , it might be Kurt Vonnegut . `` What has bothered me about some weddings is , the focus becomes God and religion when it should be about the two of you and your and relationship , '' Sheena Thomas said . `` I like that our wedding is going to be focused on us and our love . '' Is it important to you that a wedding have religious elements ? Please share in the comments below .
Joseph and Fiona Long deliberately excluded religious texts from their wedding . Experts say it 's important to let religious family members know that the event will be secular . Couples need to prepare for the possibility that not everyone will approve . Comment: