Salt Lake City , Utah ( CNN ) -- Ronnie Lee Gardner , who is set to die next week before Utah 's firing squad , said something Thursday he did n't plan to : He supports capital punishment . But , Gardner told the five-member Utah Board of Pardons and Parole , he thinks the death penalty needs to be `` as fair as you can get it . '' Testifying at his commutation hearing , Gardner said he accepts responsibility for killing two men and seriously wounding a third . But , he added , executing him on June 18 would not be fair because he 's never had the chance to present evidence in court that might have swayed jurors from a death sentence . Gardner choked up as he said he has n't been able to apologize to the families of his victims , saying they do n't want to hear from him . He did not take that opportunity to apologize to the family members who were in the audience at the hearing . `` It makes me sad , '' he said , wiping his eyes . `` I know killing me is going to hurt them just as bad , '' he said . `` I 've been on the other side of the gun . I know . '' Now 49 , Gardner is scheduled to be executed June 18 by firing squad for the murder of attorney Michael Burdell during an escape attempt at a Salt Lake City courthouse . Gardner , who had a long history of violence and escape , was at the courthouse on April 2 , 1985 , for a pretrial hearing in the 1984 slaying of Melvyn Otterstrom . He was killed at the Salt Lake City bar where he was working to earn extra money . An acquaintance handed Gardner a gun at the courthouse ; he fatally shot Burdell , who was there for another case , and shot and wounded bailiff Nick Kirk . Friends and relatives of his victims were split Thursday on whether Gardner deserves to die . `` Michael would not have wanted Ronnie Lee killed , '' Donna Nu , Burdell 's fiancée , tearfully testified . `` I 'm asking to honor his wishes and commute the sentence to life without parole . '' But Craig Watson , Otterstrom 's cousin , called for Gardner 's execution . He testified that Otterstrom died while Gardner was robbing the Cheers bar , walking away with less than $ 100 . Gardner fired a gun in Otterstrom 's face and `` blew his head off , '' Watson said . `` In our minds , he did it just for fun . '' Kirk 's daughter , Tami Stewart , sobbed as she recalled how her father 's shooting resulted in years of pain and five surgeries for him , and left him unable to go fishing and camping -- activities they previously had enjoyed as a family . `` That was the day that ruined my life , '' her father , who died in 1995 , said of the day he was shot , Stewart testified . Otterstrom 's son said he does n't know what sentence his father 's killer should receive . `` I 've been told stories of how much my dad loved me , how he was a wonderful father , '' said Jason Otterstrom , who was 3 when his father was killed . `` I will never know . I will never know him . '' Otterstrom said he is torn about whether to support the death penalty or life in prison without parole for Gardner . Whatever decision is made , he said , it should be permanent . `` Our families need peace . Our families deserve the opportunity to place this action in the past . '' Closing arguments are set for Friday in the hearing , and the board will deliver its decision on Monday . Gardner 's attorney , Andrew Parnes , pointed out that jurors in the Burdell murder trial were not given the option of deciding to sentence him to life in prison without the possibility of parole . Parnes said it was suggested during the trial that if jurors did n't sentence Gardner to death , he might one day be released . Gardner pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in Otterstrom 's death and the Burdell jury was not told of the judge 's recommendation in that case that he never be freed from prison , Parnes said . Jurors also did not hear about Gardner 's childhood , marked by poverty , neglect and abuse ; his use of inhalants beginning at about age 6 ; and his being institutionalized in a mental hospital at age 10 or 11 . Craig Haney , a professor of psychiatry at the University of California , Santa Cruz , said he has studied many death-row prisoners , nearly all of whom have had disadvantaged childhoods . `` I can tell you that Mr. Gardner 's life stands among the very worst , '' he testified . Gardner 's mother asked to be sterilized after his birth , he said , telling hospital personnel she could not care for the children she already had . In 1963 , Gardner , then 2 , was found wandering in the street , clad only in a diaper . The record of neglect `` never wavered and it never varied '' throughout Gardner 's childhood , Haney said . While social workers and others made frequent notes of the situation , no one appears to have done anything to rectify it . His placement in the mental hospital at age 10 or 11 came not because of mental illness , Haney said . Instead , it stemmed from a need to keep Gardner away from his family and , authorities noted , introduce him to a `` normal '' way of life . Doctors at the hospital noted that Gardner was already addicted to sniffing glue and paint , which could have caused brain damage , Haney said . The account painted a picture of a little boy who felt stupid , unloved and with no place in the world . But it did not move ValDean Kirk , bailiff Nick Kirk 's widow , who plans to witness Gardner 's execution . While many people have bad childhoods , she said afterward , they overcome it . `` He just wants to get out , '' she said of Gardner . While he may have had disadvantages , she said , `` He knew right and wrong . That 's all you need to know . '' Gardner testified that he realizes he will spend the rest of his life in prison if he is not executed . `` I have changed , '' he said , noting that he -- once a `` nasty little bugger '' -- has had no discipline problems in prison in the last five years and only minor incidents in the last decade . `` It was just time to grow up and accept what I 've done , '' he said . Nu told reporters she was never angry about the murder of the man she planned to marry . `` Michael ... believed in life . He did n't believe that when you die , it 's over , '' she said . Nu is a member of Summum , a Salt Lake City-based religious movement , as was Burdell . Belief blog : What is Summum ? Gardner 's execution , she added , is not going to bring peace to the victims ' families . `` Closure does n't come from the outside , '' she said . `` It comes from the inside . ''
Condemned killer Ronnie Lee Gardner testifies at commutation hearing . He is schedule to be executed by firing squad on June 18 . Family members of victims differ on support of the death penalty . The Associated Press contributed to this report.