Like many parents , Carrie Goldman was thrilled to learn that Britain 's biggest department store recently reopened its toy department with a fresh look : dolls and trucks side by side . Instead of organizing toys into color-coded aisles of pink for girls and blue for boys , Harrods ' new 26,000 square-foot `` Toy Kingdom '' is broken into six interactive `` worlds . '' Looking for costumes , a rocking horse or stuffed elephants ? Try the Big Top , which Harrods describes as `` a fairground of circus acts and candy floss , with magicians and jugglers on stage . '' In the Odyssey , `` a gigantic space rocket crashes through the floor and a huge sun bursts through the wall in front of an Area 51-inspired space and gadget zone , complete with alien space pods and limited-edition pieces . '' For Goldman , a mother of three in suburban Chicago , it 's a step in the right direction toward breaking down the gender divide erected at an early age through playtime . She experienced firsthand how those barriers can hurt children and make them feel like they need to change who they are to gain acceptance on the playground . Two years ago , Goldman 's 7-year-old daughter came home in tears after classmates teased her for carrying a `` Star Wars '' thermos to school , saying `` Stars Wars '' was for boys . Goldman shared the story on her blog , Portrait of An Adoption , and within a matter of days , the tale of `` Star Wars Katie '' went viral , drawing support from around the world . Her plight did n't just strike a nerve with parents and children -- George Lucas ' daughter , also named Katie , and the actor who played Chewbacca also had words of wisdom for Katie based on their experiences getting bullied for somehow being different . The sheer volume of responses compelled Goldman to delve into why so many people could relate to Katie 's story . That research culminated in her first book , `` Bullied : What Every Parent , Teacher and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear , '' released this month . In it , she explores the subtle and not-so-subtle ways in which society fosters a fear of those perceived as different and what parents can do about it . The negative effects of enforcing gender norms emerged as a prominent theme , including the way girls are often nudged in the direction of princess fantasies and dolls while building blocks and train sets are traditionally boys ' toys . It 's part of the reason why Goldman saw the move by a large retailer such as Harrods as promising . Removing gender-specific connotations from packaging or displays sends the message to children that they 're open to everyone , she said . When stores separate toys into aisles for girls and boys , however , they learn that anyone who deviates from their designated shelves deserves to be ridiculed . `` We ca n't truly address bullying without talking about the fear of people perceived as different , '' Goldman said . `` If you have a 6-to 8-year-old boy who goes into Harrods and sees 'Star Wars ' toys next to other dolls and action figures , maybe it 'll make him think differently when he sees a girl with a 'Star Wars ' thermos . We could be preventing future bullies by teaching them to be open-minded now . '' In the chapter `` Calling on Toy Retailers to Eliminate Gender-Based Marketing , '' Goldman posits that the reason stores segregate by gender is so they can sell more of the same product . If a store carries soccer balls in pink and blue , a mother shopping for her son and daughter can buy one for each . In addition to reinforcing gender stereotypes , the brother and sister no longer need to share , `` eliminating an opportunity to develop their social skills , '' Goldman says in the book . With children returning to school , Goldman 's book lands at a time when bullying is front and center in parents ' minds . It also comes in an era when the connection between gender norms and bullying is getting increased scrutiny from parents , educators and activists , prompting more direct action instead of just talk . When Lego announced plans to sell a new line of sets packaged in pink boxes and containing busty characters , salons and spas , girl-led activist movement SPARK launched a petition to quash the toys . Restricting train sets to boys and dress-up to girls not only reinforces outdated gender roles but also stifles creativity , said psychology professor Deborah Tolman of the Hunter College School of Social Work in New York and co-founder of SPARK . `` Kids get a lot of ideas early from play about what they can do , what they like and what they can aspire to , '' Tolman said . `` By making those themes gender specific , it leaves out a whole range of possibilities . '' Efforts at gender neutral play are not about eradicating the sight of pink or blue from toy stores or necessarily pushing children away from toys traditionally associated with their gender , she said . It 's simply a matter of making them feel like all options are open . `` It 's about making all these ways of playing part of the human experience . Anxiety about gender has created codes that have nothing to do with how people should be people , '' she said . `` There 's nothing wrong with pink . It 's the meaning we infuse it with . '' Many independent toy stores across the United States have been doing what Harrods is doing for decades . Nancy Stanek was tired of toy shopping for her children and seeing the same limited offerings of Barbies and baby dolls in the girls ' aisle and cars and action figures designated for boys . So she opened a toy store in Chicago in 1974 with `` open-ended activities '' in mind : puzzles , games , building blocks , train sets and dolls arranged by theme instead of color-coded aisles of pink for girls and blue for boys . But more than 30 years later , Stanek is concerned by the marketing direction she said some toy manufacturers are pushing on her . She 's reluctant to carry makeup sets and spa kits targeted at tweens and does n't see the point of selling green Rollerblades with a picture of a boy on the box . For that matter , why should she fill her tiny store with pink bicycles adorned with flowers instead of yellow or purple ones that might appeal to boys and girls ? `` I am becoming increasingly concerned with how we seem to be veering back into very gender-specific toys and activities , '' said Stanek , who owns four Toys et Cetera locations in the Chicago area . `` It 's almost as if we 've backtracked . We 're pushing little girls into princess dresses and ballerina costumes . '' That 's not to say her stores do n't carry fairy dresses or knights . But she tries to balance it out with costumes of doctors , chefs and pirates that show boys and girls on the packaging . She would n't even mind selling green in-line skates as long as the packaging is n't directed at one gender over the other . `` There are a lot of good , responsible manufacturers out there that go out of their way to depict objects in play showing both girls and boys , '' she said . `` I generally opt for the ones that are basically presenting the activity appropriate for both sexes . '' Goldman 's book also looks at how reducing a woman 's value to her physical attractiveness plays into bullying , especially among girls . With makeup kits being marketed to children at younger ages , beauty and body adornment become ways in which children choose bullying targets . `` Toys for girls are overwhelmingly spa kits and princess parties , all these things to beautify themselves with , '' Goldman said . `` There 's nothing wrong with wanting to look pretty , but if your reason to look pretty is to please the kids at school , that 's where it 's a problem . '' It 's not just an issue for parents of young girls . Cheryl Kilodavis and her son are used to dealing with odd looks and comments from strangers over his affinity for all things pink , including dresses , jewelry and toys . When 7-year-old Dyson 's preference for `` pretty things '' emerged at an early age , Kilodavis struggled with how to handle it . The bumpy road to acceptance prompted her to share her family 's story in the picture book , `` My Princess Boy , '' which came out in 2010 , stirring a bit of controversy . Kilodavis said she supports him , even though she still has occasional moments of hesitation when he emerges from his room in a red dress . `` As parents , we all want our kids to be happy and to be themselves , '' she said . `` But things get in the way of expression and letting kids choose toys or clothes that express who they are . '' In public though , adults seem to have the hardest time accepting it . Just last week , a little girl in the toy aisle told Dyson that he could n't have the mermaid toy he wanted because `` it 's not for boys , '' Kilodavis said . When the girl looked to her mother for guidance , she agreed . `` I think there 's a lot more anxiety around it on the parent 's side , but we set the example for our kids , '' Kilodavis said . Boys are more likely to get picked on for stepping outside of the box to play with dolls or wear a pink backpack than girls are for playing with cars or wearing jeans , said Tolman , the psychology professor . It only makes matters worse when parents attach negative connotations to boys acting on traditionally feminine tendencies out of fear that they 'll be labeled `` gay , '' she said . `` If kids are coming into social situations with more constrained ideas about what boys and girls should be from playing , you can see how that would contribute to the negative reinforcement of ideas about identity and sexuality , '' Tolman said . Well-intentioned parents might feel like they 're saving their sons from bullying by pointing them away from traditionally feminine toys or behaviors . But Goldman said that encouraging them to change for the sake of others protects the bully and not the child . `` In the short term , they might protect the child from being taunted , but in the long term , it shows the world that who he really is is n't as important as the status quo , '' she said . `` Those are the kids who are really tormented because they 're not allowed to express themselves . '' Are you a parent whose child plays across gender lines ? What do you think of Harrods ' new toy department design ? Share your opinion in the comments section below .
Parents praise Disney for ` ` Toy Kingdom '' in which toys are arranged by theme , not color . ` ` Bullied '' author , ` ` color - coded '' toys foster animosity toward kids who are different . Carrie Fisher , mother of ` ` Star Wars Katie , '' wrote , after outpouring of support . Boys more likely to get picked on for defying gender norms than girls , expert opinion .