( CNN ) -- She called him her little Ewok . Six-year-old London had severe autism , according to an archived blog that his mother , Jillian McCabe , appears to have written in 2011 and 2012 . She chronicled what it felt like to realize something was wrong when he was a baby . He was n't reacting when he heard his name . He did n't show affection or interact . He was missing milestones . When the diagnosis came , she and her husband , Matt -- according to their own social media writings -- devoted their lives to their son . Then came another enormous blow : Matt developed multiple sclerosis . `` I 'm trying to hold it together , '' Jillian said in a YouTube video that was posted on her Facebook page but has since been taken down . `` It 's really hard . I 'm losing it a lot . '' On Monday evening , the 34-year-old mother walked onto the Yaquina Bay Bridge in Oregon carrying her son , police say , and threw him into the frigid water . `` I just threw my son over the Yaquina Bay Bridge , '' Jillian McCabe told a 911 dispatcher , according to a probable cause affidavit . His name is London , she said , and then she began describing her boy in detail , including the clothing he was wearing , according to the document . She gave his date of birth , her name and date of birth . She described herself . At the end of the call , she said there was a police officer standing with her on the bridge . According to the affidavit , several officers said they heard her saying she 'd thrown her son off the bridge . On Tuesday , McCabe appeared via video conference in Lincoln County court . She was charged with murder and manslaughter and did not enter a plea . Her next hearing is next Wednesday . A judge set her bail at $ 1 million . CNN has left phone and email messages with her attorneys and has not received a response . A troubled mother ? In the YouTube video , Jillian McCabe said she thought about pulling a `` Thelma and Louise , '' referring to the movie about two women who drive off a cliff to escape their problems . Her brother-in-law Andrew McCabe told NBC News that she had been `` hearing voices '' and was supposed to see a doctor to adjust her medication on Tuesday , the day after London died . NBC also reported that relatives said McCabe endured mental illness for two years and buckled under the weight of caring for her son and her husband . `` We learned just yesterday that Monday morning Jillian expressed to her counselor that she was hearing voices again , '' Andrew McCabe told NBC . `` The counselor suggested that her medication needed adjusting and set an appointment with a doctor for the next day . '' He said that Jillian McCabe sought but did not get services that she needed , and she tried to kill herself numerous times . CNN can not independently confirm what the family has told NBC . Andy McCabe , London 's uncle , told CNN affiliate KPTV that the family is stunned and deeply saddened , but not angry at Jillian McCabe , because she was sick and did n't get the help she needed . Learn more about autism . 'Mr . Doom & Mrs. Doom ' In her archived blog , posts describe what it was like to raise London . One post praises a teacher and therapists who helped the boy in 2012 make strides like washing his hands and drinking out of a cup without a lid . An October 25 , 2011 , post called `` Mr. Doom & Mrs. Doom '' reads : `` Mr. Doom and I are parents of a nonverbal child with severe Autism who has seizures . We live , breathe and see a world that is different than yours . The word 'Autism ' is sure to be a powerful repellant to any of your party guests ; all of our conversations will surely be awkward ones and will include things like sensory tools , therapy sessions and weighted blankets . '' Another post says : `` I think the parents of Autistic children often stick together : Matt and I isolate ourselves a lot and stick together . We ca n't really explain accurately to others our experiences . I think the worst thing that Matt and I are going through as parents is the comparison to other children in our family and in our lives . We ca n't help but to compare London and all it does is tear us up inside , but it is like something we can not control . '' `` Family gatherings are hard , '' she wrote . `` It is sad when the other children are running and playing together or when they are being held and engaged by other adults ; London just sits alone in his own world . Christmas is particularly heart breaking because he does n't understand that you need to open a present to find a treasure inside , nor does he understand the treasure . It 's hard to watch other children rip open their presents excitedly while London sits near his still wrapped gift . `` We feel awkward because London is acting awkward and everyone else in the room senses the awkwardness . We in turn feel bad for creating a scene or ruining someone else 's time . Even worse , we feel broken because London is n't even aware that it is Christmas . We can only wonder if he will ever appreciate a present or how many years will pass before he does . '' 'Vigorous ' prosecution . London 's killing has sparked strong emotions , particularly from parents of disabled children and those who have autism . Many want the focus to remain on London , not his mother . Some are tweeting at # justiceforlondon . `` His name was London McCabe and he deserved better than to be murdered by ( being ) thrown off a bridge , '' Sharon McDaid tweeted . `` Killing your child is not a breakdown , it 's murder , many parents have breakdowns & never resort to murder , '' Kimberly Faith posted . A nonprofit national group whose members have autism , the Autistic Self Advocacy Network , urged `` vigorous prosecution '' in McCabe 's case , according to a statement . `` London , and not his mother , is the victim of a terrible crime , '' the statement read . President Ari Ne'eman told CNN that all too often the killing of children with disabilities is blamed on stress that caregivers are experiencing . Media and others should be careful , he said , about framing disabled children as a burden . Doing that can inspire copycat killings , Ne'eman said , noting that the organization has several members who have been abused by their caregivers . The organization stages a Day of Mourning in the spring during which names of disabled people killed by caregivers are read aloud . London 's name will be added to the list , said Ne'eman . `` We need to see images of London smiling , having fun , '' he said . `` We need to look at this case , first and foremost , as the murder of a 6-year-old boy . '' Anna Bullard is a Georgia mother whose daughter has autism . Bullard advocates in state government for more services for parents like her . She says she has trouble feeling sympathy for Jillian McCabe . Her daughter is 10 . `` When she was diagnosed , doctors told me she had no skills whatever , '' said Bullard . `` I could imagine nothing except spending my life trying to get her what she deserves . `` We all have points in our life where we have to ask for help and that 's just what you have to do , '' she said . `` I do n't know if that 's the case here . No one knows . But you find a way . You find a way . '' CNN 's Amanda Watts contributed to this story .
Jillian McCabe of Oregon is facing manslaughter and murder charges . Police say that she threw her son off a bridge and called 911 . Score: 6