Many female travelers are scrubbing India off their destination lists after the horrific gang rape and murder of a Delhi student in December 2012 . According to the Associated Chambers of Commerce and Industry of India , 35 % less women visited India in the three months after the attack compared to the same period last year . Since December , rapes have persisted and mass protests have erupted across the country , pointing at inefficiency in dealing with such crimes and an inherent patriarchal nature . But there 's one clear observation from the outcry : some of the voices belong to India 's men . `` Every time I look into the mirror , I want to see a man whose mother , sister , wife and daughter are proud to call their own , '' says renowned Bollywood actor and director Farhan Akhtar on the website of his movement formed in March called MARD -- - Men Against Rape and Discrimination . Distributing plastic moustaches -- a symbol of masculinity -- at the cricket ground of Eden Gardens in Kolkata in April , Farhan is using his influence to encourage men to become `` real MARDs '' -- also meaning `` men '' in the national language of Hindi . He is setting out a plan of action with Magic Bus -- - an established NGO in India -- that uses sport to engage children from poorer communities , teaching values such as the importance of education , health and gender equality . `` Young people in India do n't have good role models aside from Bollywood and sports people , '' says Matthew Spacie , Magic Bus founder . `` Farhan is a great voice addressing young people . '' Parvati Pujari , 22 , is one of around 10,000 youth leaders recruited from within communities to deliver the NGO 's programs . She says boys are aware of the rape problem and the need for change . `` But somewhere in their minds , they see girls as weak , '' she adds . The programs focus on building confidence in girls , for example , to ask for the ball from boys in a game of football , and encouraging boys to believe girls can play as well as they can . Deepak Kashyap , a psychologist in Mumbai , says the idea of boys being better than girls begins in childhood : . `` We 're talking about a country where the female infanticide rate is so high . That says that women are not wanted . Then boys grow up with a sense of entitlement . '' But why do men , or boys , go on to rape ? Kashyap says that although pinpointing the reasons are complicated : `` Sex , as much as it 's about sex , is about power . And the only thing that separates rape from usual sex is consent . '' He adds that the definition of what it means to be a man can be unclear to children : `` I am gay and when I was growing up , I was always told to be a man , '' says Kashyap . `` I just did n't understand what that meant ; does it mean abusing people ? `` The reason why I became a psychologist is to understand myself , the culture , gender and sexuality . '' Kaizaad Kotwal co-produces and directs American playwright Eve Ensler 's Vagina Monologues in India with his mother , Mahabanoo Mody Kotwal . American woman allegedly gang-raped in India . At first , it was banned in several cities . The play speaks candidly of female sexuality , including issues such as rape and genital mutilation -- - a conversation , Kaizaad Kotwal says , India was n't ready to have . But the play is in its 11th year : `` The audiences , right from the start , embraced the play , '' says Kotwal . He claims it were mainly theaters -- and sometimes women -- that opposed . `` Patriarchy knows no gender ; it 's a mindset , '' says Kotwal . `` It 's an attitude towards women which many women themselves perpetrate . '' Although female goddesses and figures are revered in Hinduism , a dominating religion of the country , Kotwal argues : `` The goddess model is very hard for anyone to emulate . `` We 're saying if women fall short of being a goddess , we 'll violate them . In Hindu mythology , many virtuous women are only praised when in subservience to men . '' Kashyap says a change in this culture will influence reforms in the legal system . However , some men are worried about what stricter anti-rape laws might mean for them . Goa Citizen 's Welfare Trust formed an NGO in April to protect the region 's men or boys wrongfully accused of rape : `` There are some women who are taking advantage of this law and misusing it , '' says founder , Michael Ferns . Dadleancho Ekvott , meaning the unity of men in the local language of Konkani , will work alongside Goa 's police to verify whether a complaint of sexual harassment or rape is genuine by speaking to people surrounding the case . If the accused is thought to be innocent , they will try to prevent his arrest . Although Ferns believes innocent men deserve protection , he admits the problem faced by women in India is in greater need of attention , and men need to take action . However , some believe that this is a battle for women only . `` Research shows [ women 's movements ] need autonomy and self determination , '' says Natalie Gyte , head of communications at the Women 's Resource Center ( W.R.C . ) , the UK umbrella body for women 's charities . `` We have to decide what we want and how we want to achieve it . `` It 's not dissimilar from the Civil Rights movement which had to come from black people to progress it and have something of their own . `` Men ca n't live that reality [ of women 's oppression ] . '' So what should men do ? Gyte says : `` Men can listen , educate themselves and challenge sexist behavior whenever they observe it . `` We [ W.R.C . ] are all for men creating their own organizations , but they should be about challenging patriarchal views . '' Opinion : Empowered women make nations strong . Some men are doing just that . On March 16 , men from different walks of life , from suited office workers to rugged Delhi bikers , gathered in Jantar Mantar -- a well-known protest area in Delhi -- to apologize to women . Holding posters with words such as : `` Delhi women : I 'm sorry , I 'm changing , '' this was an alternative response to the rape crisis and the offense rate in the city , known as the crime capital of India . Recent figures from the National Crime Records Bureau show that in 2012 , more women were raped in Delhi -- 585 cases -- than in any other of India 's largest cities . The so-called public apology was organized by India for Integrity , a charity formed by a circle of male friends during the anti-corruption movement in 2011 . They encourage personal responsibility and follow the slogan : `` I am corrupt and change starts with me . '' `` This is n't our responsibility , what do you have to be sorry for ? It 's the girl 's fault , '' was one such comment co-founder Jonathan Abraham received on the group 's Facebook page , which has over 4,600 likes . `` This is the debate we need to have , encouraging people to introspect . That 's the first step to change , '' says Abraham , echoing the philosophy of the late Mohandas Gandhi , leader of the Indian nationalist movement . Kotwal says that although the rape crisis in India can not be denied , this is a problem the world over , citing the U.S. military as one example , where recent Pentagon estimates indicate a 37 % increase in sexual assaults to 26,000 cases last year . But Abraham believes looking at the statistics of other countries is ignoring the fact that there 's a huge problem at home . Nobody believes social overhauls happen overnight . Spacie says change begins with educating today 's youth ; therefore it will take a generation before real transformation is seen . But the efforts of some of India 's gentlemen provide hope that chivalry is alive in a country where a rape crisis is at odds with its image of spirituality and gentleness . But how can the message reach the real culprits ? Kotwal says : `` The message has to constantly be out in the media , public , our discourse , education , corporate and political worlds . `` It 's got to be this drone that you ca n't get away from . We all have to become the message . '' Anger , frustration over rapes in India : 'Mindset has n't changed '
Female tourism to India has dropped 35 % in three months after a high-profile rape . Men in India are also trying to change mentality , holding protests and campaigns . Patriarchy is a mindset women can have as well , says advocate .