It 's as simple as making eye contact and flashing a smile or knowing when to back off and stop talking so much . Social cues . Body language . Basic conversation . They make up the toolkit for meeting new people . But for those whose romantic realm is constructed entirely through social media and online dating , these intuitions might be eroding away . `` People have an easier time picking out an emoticon to display the emotion they are feeling rather than actually showing it on their face , '' Blake Eastman , body language expert and founder of The Nonverbal Group , said . `` Unfortunately , for the past 10 years , people have been really confident behind the computer keyboard , but then you see them in person and things are very different . '' Dating coach and author Adam LoDolce has a simple solution : meet people organically . But the paralyzing fear of rejection often can make us long for the distance technology offers . To help people overcome the anxiety of approaching someone new , LoDolce made a 45-minute film including his advice : `` Go Talk to Her . '' Like Eastman , he believes that people are killing off social skills by hiding behind a glowing screen of information that offers no chemistry . `` People want to go back to the day where you 're sitting at a coffee shop , make eye contact and there is this mysterious moment where you do n't know each other , '' LoDolce said . `` Online dating is one tool in the tool kit , but I think we as a society are seeing that there is still a real way to meet people . '' How technology has changed romance . Anti-social media . Users mistake social media for being social . It is n't , Eastman said . Instead it creates a group of people that are highly connected online but feel socially isolated . `` We feel that we do n't need to look people in the eyes to communicate anymore -- a keystroke has replaced that look , '' Eastman said . `` But at the end of the day , we 're designed for human contact , not a computer screen . '' Online daters and social media users easily fall into a new way of communicating . Instead of the rules and social norms used in face-to-face meeting , they create ones for digital interfacing . But the rules are looser and harder to enforce , Patricia Wallace , psychologist and author of `` The Psychology of the Internet , '' said . Psychologists highlight pitfalls of online dating . `` When you 're in front of a computer or an iPad , you 're not interacting with a human face , '' Wallace said . `` All of the millennia of evolution that helped us learn how to read all of the nuances to do that choreography of conversation are n't there . '' Social media also allows `` loose ties '' with acquaintances and low-risk ways of communicating . The fear of rejection when someone does n't answer a Facebook message lacks the impact of an ignored phone call , according to Wallace . But a general lack of satisfaction is perhaps the most noticeable effect of online dating . `` Online dating is like a buffet , '' Marni Battista , founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity , said . `` People are ruling out more than they 're ruling in . After a date , they go home , get online and look for someone else . We 're in this digital instant gratification age , and there is no patience for the dating process . '' The upside of online dating : Always a funny story to tell . Bucking the standard . Unfortunately , offline dating has lost some of its charm . Eastman believes that dates are too `` standardized , '' especially in restaurants . A table in between two people -- staring at one another -- becomes an interview with adversarial posturing , he said . Keep the date moving along , stopping at a few places that will create an experience , which builds memories and intimacy , Eastman recommends . Shifting gender roles are also contributing to the confusion experienced on first dates . `` Men are almost afraid of being in the role of pursuing because they do n't want to be perceived as creepy , '' Battista said . `` And successful , independent women still want men to step up . As a result , it 's almost like a standoff . '' Rejection , the kind that manifested itself in the awkward insecurities of middle school and survived maturity , remains the biggest enemy of dating success , LoDolce said . `` People think that being rejected is going to be the worst moment of their life , '' LoDolce said . `` This does not have to be the end of the world . '' LoDolce , Eastman and Battista all coach clients in maneuvering the dating world . Here are some of their words of advice , especially for people re-entering offline dating : . Reach a social peak . Like preparing for a sprint , warm up to a peak social state when you 're going out , day or night . It makes you the person in the room that everyone wants to meet . `` When we 're nervous , we give off a bland , shy , introverted vibe with bad body language , '' LoDolce said . `` Learn how to talk to new people -- fake it until you make it , smile as if you won the lottery , bring the energy . People remember the best five percent and the worst five percent of what you say , the rest is up to body language . '' Laughing , smiling and talking all contribute to facial animation , something we gravitate toward as human beings . It shows that a person is listening and interested . Movement and clear communication are signs of a good date , Eastman said . Online dating and a formula for love . Be self-confident and genuine . `` What people really need is to be in that place of self-love and confidence , being authentic to who they are , '' Battista said . `` Then you have a different energy out in the world -- you see yourself as a dater and on the market , and that confidence is attractive . '' When approaching someone , be open , honest and genuine -- it creates an instant connection . If you think someone is stunning and you 'll kick yourself later if you do n't let them know , tell them , LoDolce said . Orient yourself . Ever stand in line at Starbucks and hear someone mention a common interest ? Strike up a conversation , instead of sticking your nose in your phone . Take opportunities to practice being social everywhere . `` Understand when someone is orienting towards you -- it 's the best time to say something to them , '' Eastman said . `` If we put ourselves out there for a little bit , it can be incredibly powerful in terms of what we get in return . '' Young women dating even younger men . Take your time . One of the biggest mistakes people make is rushing into something and falling in love with who they want a person to be , and not the person , Battista said . `` Intimacy comes from slowly but surely discovering things about someone you never knew until you went through this phase of slow discovery , '' LoDolce said . Many of these small discoveries can happen only in person , these dating experts say , so perhaps it 's time to close the laptop and take a walk .
Some dating experts say online dating has sapped our social capital . Approaching people and starting conversations can be hard if you 're not used to it . Users blame social media for being social , says body image expert Blake Eastman . Practice talking to others by striking up a conversation in the phone line .