( CNN ) -- Today we are issuing a cease and desist to all you gurus , ninjas and evangelists out there . And we do n't mean the real ones . As you fire up your laptops and fuse your various essential electronic devices to your very flesh so as to never miss a fiber of the www , you will be forced to define yourself ; to look within your black soul and come up with a paltry handful of words that converge to denote `` you . '' Well , at this juncture , we humbly request that those words not be `` rock star . '' In recent years , we have noticed an outright epidemic of cliched , narcissistic and , let 's be honest , straight-up embarrassing self-monikerization . In short : A ton of people have started calling themselves `` visionaries '' on their websites , LinkedIn profiles , Twitter profiles , etc . -- and it 's more than a little annoying . Nina Beckhardt , president and creative director of The Naming Group , blames this pompous proliferation on the fact that our identities are now more public than ever . `` Given that one 's actual name ( e.g. , Joe Smith ) does n't communicate semantic meaning , that 's what these types of titles are all about -- working to control that first impression , '' she says . Well , no one wants their first impression to be `` tool . '' So ... some advice : . Do n't be a cliche . Does your title -- `` Executive Engineer of Cross-Functional Branding , '' or whatever -- seem a little boring ? Well , slapping `` ninja '' in front of it may seem like a quick fix -- if it were n't for the fact that there are tons of other people out there who had the same genius idea as you . Last year , LinkedIn tabulated how many ninjas were sneaking around the job-finding site and found it to be an extremely trendy title . To quote `` Fight Club '' -- which is also cliched , sorry -- `` You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake , '' you Java Script Ninja , you . You are merely one of huddled masses of gray-suited commuters suffering from Kurosawa-induced delusions of grandeur . If you do , in fact , feel impelled to flesh out your title with something descriptive , at least mull it over for a moment and come up with something original , like `` Martini Whisperer , '' of which there is only one on LinkedIn . Do n't be confusing . Still , there is a downside to getting all Kandinsky with your title , like the Whisperer up there . We 're guessing that the person in question is a bartender of some sort -- a fact that 's not wholly explicit given the title of choice . Frankly , we just picture some sloshed dude conversing , sadly , with his olives . According to Krista Canfield , spokeswoman for LinkedIn , calling yourself a rock star or something of that nature online could have a downside when it comes to reaching potential employers . `` You always want to make sure that you 're referencing words and phrases that people actually search for in order to make sure your profile appears in those results , '' she says . Let 's say a potential employer is getting some internet assistance in hiring a photographer . Well , what do you think said potential employer is going to enter into the Monster.com search field ? If you guessed , `` visual media rock star , '' well , then you would be wrong . `` When you 're crafting your profile , think of the words and phrases you want to be associated with , '' Canfield says . Speaking of real rock stars , here 's a relevant example of exacting nomenclature from the indie music world . This week , the band Yeasayer sent out an e-mail declaring that it had finally secured the Twitter handle @ Yeasayer . Before , the band 's handle had been @ OddBlood , which was the title of its last album . According to the band manager , Jason Foster , another user had been sitting on the @ Yeasayer handle for a while , and the band finally managed to wrest it out of that person 's ( we hope not cold , dead ) hands . `` We did jump up like a thousand fans in one day , '' Foster says of the switch . Why ? Because the band is now more accurately representing itself -- it 's easier to find . So , yeah , unless you 're toting a guitar case and cramming yourself into a sweaty tour bus every other month , we suggest leaving the term `` rock star '' out of your job title -- and even then , the whole `` star '' classification seems a little self-aggrandizing . Which leads us to our next point ... Do n't be pompous . If you 're calling yourself a `` universe shifter , '' it pretty much signals to said cosmos that you are not , in fact , anything of the kind . As Beckhardt says , `` Certain titles , like 'Evangelist ' and 'Visionary ' are just taking it a little too far . If you truly are a visionary , it will most likely show through in other ways . If Ghandi had a LinkedIn profile , I doubt he 'd call himself 'Pre-eminent Ideological Leader . ' `` So when setting out to `` find yourself '' in the sucking quagmire that is the Web , we suggest getting more creative with the manner in which you define yourself . Nix the slovenly shorthand and do the whole `` show , do n't tell '' thing they teach you about in high school creative writing classes : Craft a homepage that shows your personality and demonstrates your skills ( services like About.Me and Flavors.me make that idiot-proof ) , for example . Unless , you know , you are a ninja . In which case , carry on .
A lot of people have started calling themselves ` ` visionaries '' on their websites . LinkedIn has seen the rise of people calling themselves ` ` ninjas '' on the networking site . Do n't do that ; instead , get creative and make a ` ` show , do n't tell '' ' . Get a show that shows your personality and demonstrates your skills .