And I couldn't forgive myself for the countless, countless hours I had lost in negative thought, all the time I had spent beating myself up for losing my marriage and not stopping the sexual abuse when I was a kid and career moves and this and this and this.
No podía perdonarme el haber perdido tantas y tantas horas con pensamientos negativos; todo ese tiempo que me recriminé la pérdida de mi matrimonio, no detener el abuso sexual de niña, los ascensos laborales, etc., etc., etc.