---------------------- Forwarded by Dawn C Kenne/HOU/ECT on 01/30/2001 08:03 
AM ---------------------------
From: Torrey Moorer on 01/30/2001 07:56 AM
To: Dawn C Kenne/HOU/ECT@ECT, Peter Berzins/NA/Enron@Enron, Matt 
Motsinger/HOU/ECT@ECT, Simone La Rose/HOU/ECT@ECT, Adam 
Johnson/NA/Enron@Enron, Tara Sweitzer/HOU/ECT@ECT
cc:  

Subject: Fw: If Texans didn't think this way... this would be funny!!!!


---------------------- Forwarded by Torrey Moorer/HOU/ECT on 01/30/2001 08:01 
AM ---------------------------


Jim & Tracey <lawstar@swbell.net> on 01/29/2001 05:40:50 PM
To: Torrey.Moorer@enron.com, Malcolm Guidry <mamosi.guidry@prodigy.net>, 
Kilraven19@aol.com, CMcgalin@aol.com, "BAKER, ERIN R" <EBAKER@entergy.com>
cc:  
Subject: Fw: If Texans didn't think this way... this would be funny!!!!



----- Original Message -----
From: Aleta Nash <anash@spnbl.com>
To: Carol Foster <cfoster.GWPO.SPNBL_GWDOMAIN@spnbl.com>; Doneane Beckcom
<dbeckcom.GWPO.SPNBL_GWDOMAIN@spnbl.com>; Dana Overstreet
<doverstreet.GWPO.SPNBL_GWDOMAIN@spnbl.com>; Michelle Pitts
<mpitts.GWPO.SPNBL_GWDOMAIN@spnbl.com>
Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 4:54 PM
Subject: If Texans didn't think this way... this would be funny!!!!


Foreigner's Travel Guide to Texas
>
>
> Like it or not, the new Texas White House will be in Crawford, Texas and
> soon will  be drawing a number of people to the state, including many who
> are not used to Texas ways. They might find the following advice useful.
>
>
> 1) Don't expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local
> restaurant. It's a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak.
Let
> them cook something they know.  If you confuse them, they'll kick your
ass.
>
>
> 2) Don't laugh at the names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley,
Tammy
> Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.).  Or we will HAVE to kick your ass.
>
>
> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. In Texas it's called a
> coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or
> whatever - it's still a coke. Accept it.  Doing otherwise can lead to an
ass
> kicking.
>
>
> 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some
J.
> Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than
> you.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or we'll kick your
ass.
>
>
> 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot,
> Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small
> lapses in judgment (e.g., Phil Gramm).  However, we are not dumb enough to
> let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate.  If
> anyone tried to do that they would  get a serious ass kickin'.
>
>
> 6a) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Gen.
Hood
> you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington.
>
>
> 6b) IF you visit the Alamo, take your hat off and be properly humble, or
> we'll kick your ass.
>
>
> 7) We are fully aware of how hot it gets and high the humidity is, so shut
> up about it.  If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen, or we'll
> kick your ass.
>
>
> 8a) Do not attempt to eat tamales without first removing their corn husk
> casing. Everyone will instantly know that you're a Yankee.
>
>
> 8b) DO NOT, under any circumstances, complain that the chili is TOO hot or
> contains no kidney beans, this will get your ass kicked into next week.
>
>
> 9) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know
they
> are not. Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit,
Chicago,
> and DC, and we have the scars to prove it.  If you don't like it here,
Delta
> is ready when you are. Move your ass on home - before we kick it.
>
>
> 10) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we
> don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what
we
> are saying. All other Texans understand what we are saying and that's all
> that matters. Now, go away, or we'll kick your ass.
>
>
> 11) Don't complain that certain areas of  this state  "smell" of  oil.  If
> your livelihood depended on those wells you'd soon learn to love the
aroma.
> Besides, None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently.  If you
> whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way back to
> Pittsburgh, PA.
>
>
> 12) Don't ridicule our Texas manners. We say sir and ma'am. We hold doors
> open for others. We offer our seats to old folks. Such things are expected
> of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired
> grandmothers, or they'll kick your ass -- just like they did ours.
>
>
> 13) Don't think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in small
> towns.  We do this because we have enough sense to not live in crime
> infested cesspools like Baltimore. Make fun of our small towns and we'll
> kick your ass.
>
>
> 14)  DO NOT DARE to tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass
> shot (right after it is kicked). Criticize the barbecue and you may go
home
> in a pine box -- minus your ass.
>
>
> 15) Remember, the only reason you are lucky enough to be here in the first
> place is because we have not pulled the Border Patrol off the Rio Grande
and
> put them on the Red River (where they really belong) to keep your ass out.
>
>
> 16) Enjoy your visit.