Language of adoption
Positive adoption language
Positive adoption language
--------------------------

In the 1970s, as adoption search and support organizations developed, there were challenges to the language in common use at the time. The term "natural mother" had been in common use previously. The term "birth mother" was first used in 1956 by Nobel Prize winning author and adoptive mother Pearl S. Buck. As books like *Adoption Triangle* by Sorosky, Pannor and Baran were published, and support groups formed like CUB ([Concerned United Birthparents](/wiki/Concerned_United_Birthparents "Concerned United Birthparents")), a major shift from natural parent to birthparent [Birthparent Legacy Term](http://www.sacredhealing.com/triadoption/Misc./Origin%20of%20the%20Term%20Birthparent.pdf)  TRIADOPTION® Archives[Birth Parents](http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/topics/birthparents.htm) The Adoption History Project occurred. Along with the change in times and social attitudes came additional examination of the language used in adoption.

Social workers and other professionals in the field of adoption began changing terms of use to reflect what was being expressed by the parties involved. In 1979, Marietta Spencer wrote "The Terminology of Adoption" for the [Child Welfare League of America](/wiki/Child_Welfare_League_of_America "Child Welfare League of America") (CWLA),[Adoption Terminology](http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adoption/archive/CwlaAT.htm) Child Welfare League of American 1980s which was the basis for her later work "Constructive Adoption Terminology".[Adoption Language](http://library.adoption.com/articles/a-few-words-on-words-in-adoption.html)  by Brenda Romanchik This influenced Pat Johnston's "positive adoption language" (PAL) and "respectful adoption language" (RAL).[Speaking Positively: Using Respectful Adoption Language](http://www.perspectivespress.com/pjpal.html) , by Patricia Irwin Johnston The terms contained in "positive adoption language" include the terms "birth mother" (to replace the terms "natural mother" and "real mother"), "placing" (to replace the term "surrender").

Language, at its best, honors the self\-referencing choices of the persons involved, utilizes inclusive terms and phrases, and is sensitive to the feelings of the primary parties. Language evolves with social attitudes and experiences. The example below is one of the earliest and these lists, too, have evolved and changed some over the years.[PAL 1992](http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/PositiveLanguage.pdf)  OURS 1992[Holt 1997](http://www.holtinternational.org/adoption/language.shtml) Holt International 1997

*The reasons for its use*: Some terms like birth parents, birth mother, birth father were chosen by those working in adoption reform as terms to replace 'natural' and it took nearly a decade before agencies, social workers, courts and laws embraced the change in self\-referencing. Some adoptive parents supported this change as they felt using "natural" indicated they were "unnatural". In some cultures, adoptive families face an anti\-adoption bias. This can be evident in English\-speaking cultures when there is prominent use of negative or inaccurate language describing adoption. So, to combat it, many adoptive families choose the use of positive adoption language.

*The reasons against its use*: Some adoptees believe "positive adoption language" creates [cognitive dissonance](/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance "Cognitive dissonance"), denies certain realities for the adoptee, and treats the status of being an adopted person as if it is something to be ashamed of by insisting adoption should not be part of their identity. Some birth parents see "positive adoption language" as terminology which glosses over painful facts they face as they go into the indefinite post\-adoption period of their lives. They feel PAL has become a way to present adoption in the friendliest light possible, in order to obtain even more infants for adoption; i.e., a sales and marketing tool. Some feel the social work system has negatively compromised the intention of the birth family references and other terms, so that either the initial intent needs to be honored, or the terminology must again change.

### Example of terms used in positive adoption language

 Non\-preferred: |
 PAL term: |
 Reasons stated for preference: |
 your own child |
 birth child; biological child |
 Saying a birth child is your own child or one of your own children implies that an adopted child is not. |
 child is adopted |
 child was adopted |
 Some adoptees believe that their adoption is not their identity, but is an event that happened to them. ("Adopted" becomes a [participle](/wiki/Participle "Participle") rather than an [adjective](/wiki/Adjective "Adjective").) Others contend that "is adopted" makes adoption sound like an ongoing disability, rather than a past event. |
 give up for adoption |
 place for adoption or make an adoption plan |
 "Give up" implies a lack of value. The preferred terms are more emotionally neutral. |
 real mother/father/parent |
 birth, biological or genetic mother/father/parent |
 The use of the term "real" implies that the adoptive family is artificial, and is not as descriptive. |
 natural parent |
 birth parent or first parent |
 The use of the term "natural" implies that the adoptive family is unnatural, and so is not a descriptive or accurate term. Although it can be seen as unnatural to conceive and relinquish children, the purpose is to present the adoption of those children in need as natural. The term "natural" in its origin means a family by the natural means of conception and birth and its primal bond which exists by itself since the beginning unless it is severed. |
 your adopted child |
 your child |
 The use of the adjective "adopted" signals that the relationship is qualitatively different from that of parents to birth children. |
 surrender for adoption |
 placed or placed for adoption |
 The use of the adjective "surrendered" implies "giving up". For many parents placing a child for adoption is an informed completely voluntary choice. For others, there is no choice as the parent's rights were terminated because the parent was deemed to be unfit. |

Why were certain terms replaced, such as 'natural mother' and 'surrender'?