The Heart of a Goof
"The Awakening of Rollo Podmarsh"
### "The Awakening of Rollo Podmarsh"

* UK: *Strand*, January 1923
* US: *Red Book*, March 1923 (as "Rollo Podmarsh Comes To")

Plot
The Oldest Member disapproves of the club's new bowling green. A young man says the game of bowls was good enough for [Francis Drake](/wiki/Francis_Drake "Francis Drake"), who chose to finish a game of bowls even when the Spanish Armada was in sight. The Oldest Member tells the story of a similar case in the history of golf.
Diffident, 28\-year\-old Rollo Podmarsh was raised to be overly health\-conscious by his mother. He wears extra layers of clothes and regularly eats a bowl of hot arrowroot for his health. Mary Kent, the daughter of an old friend of Rollo's mother, comes to stay while her parents are abroad. Like Rollo, she plays golf. Rollo falls in love with Mary right away, while she thinks he is too health\-conscious. Her opinion of him improves after he smokes a pipe, in an attempt to get better at golf by imitating [Ted Ray](/wiki/Ted_Ray_%28golfer%29 "Ted Ray (golfer)"), though this alarms his mother. One evening, Rollo asks Mary what kind of man she would fall in love with. She answers that she could only love a brave man who did something heroic. Rollo is concerned about this, and also about his golf. He hopes to finish the course in under a hundred strokes, but always scores one hundred and twenty. He starts to lose his appetite. Lettice Willoughby, his very young niece, remembers that her family's dog, Ponto, lost his appetite not long before he had to be put out of his misery because he was very old and ill. Rollo tells Lettice he feels old and miserable. However, he feels better later when Mary asks him to play golf with her.

Mary is a better golfer than Rollo and encourages him to reach his goal. He appreciates this and quietly says her name to himself. The syllables happen to coincide with the correct form and timing for the shot, and he hits the ball perfectly. Bolstered by Mary's encouragement, he gets through the first half of the course in forty\-six strokes. While Jane is not there, Rollo's sister, Enid Willoughby, comes and tells Rollo that Lettice wrote to her about putting Rollo out of his misery. Enid does not take this seriously, but Rollo does, since his arrowroot tasted odd the last few evenings. He believes Lettice poisoned it, though Enid thinks the idea is absurd. Rollo thinks he is unlikely to do the first nine holes in forty\-six again, so despite his nervousness about his health, he resumes playing. He gets a score of ninety\-seven. Rollo then tells Mary he has been poisoned, and that her he loves her. Mary thinks Rollo is heroic, and they get engaged. Enid returns and repeats that Rollo's concerns were nonsense. She talked to Letty, who gave up when the chemist wouldn't sell her poison. The arrowroot only tasted strange because Mrs Podmarsh put something in it meant to break a smoking habit. Rollo is overjoyed. He stops taking arrowroot and worrying over his health.


What sport do Mary Kent and Rollo Podmarsh play?