The Heart of a Goof
"Rodney Fails to Qualify"
### "Rodney Fails to Qualify"

* UK: *Strand*, March 1924
* US: *Saturday Evening Post*, 23 February 1924

Plot
The Oldest Member thinks a golfer should think twice before marrying a non\-golfer and tells the club secretary the following story.
Jane Packard and William Bates are not officially engaged, but they grew up together and there is a sort of understanding between them that they will get married someday. William, a large, slow\-moving man, sends her gifts months apart, and Jane, also an athletic and slow\-moving person, does not mind a slow courtship. They play golf together every day and have similar handicaps. One day, the Oldest Member notices that Jane seems discontent. She read a passionate romance novel and wants her life to be more romantic. The Oldest Member goes to William's cottage and tells him to propose to Jane and be passionate. William decides to do so at the sixth hole on the golf course. At the course, The Oldest Member sees Jane with a romantic\-looking young man named Rodney Spelvin who has come to stay for a while at a house nearby. Rodney is a poet, and Jane admires his poetry. William cannot propose to her with Rodney around. Later, the Oldest Member warns William that Jane is romantic and may be drawn away by a fascinating stranger like Rodney. William doubts Jane would fall in love with a poet who doesn't play golf.

Around a week later, William proposes to Jane in a simple unpoetic way. She turns him down, saying that she loves Rodney. The Oldest Member tries to tell Jane to reconsider William's proposal. However, Rodney proposed to her, much more poetically than William did, and they got engaged. William still cares for Jane and caddies for her during the Ladies' Invitation Tournament at Mossy Heath. She becomes annoyed by Rodney for humming while she addresses her ball and for not noticing her good shots. She hits one of her balls into a waist\-high river. She takes a penalty and hits another ball, but this one also ends up in the water. William suggests she play that ball from where it floats. There is a boat, which William will row. Jane asks Rodney to steer. He does so, though he is more interested in talking poetically about nature than in Jane's golf. Standing on the boat, Jane tries to hit the drifting ball, sending water spraying over Rodney, irritating him. She misses the ball and repeatedly tries again, while her opponent patiently reads a book. When Rodney tries to leave the boat while Jane is swinging her niblick, the boat overturns. Jane's bag of clubs sinks to the bottom of the stream. She tells Rodney to find it. Rodney has had enough and leaves. William retrieves Jane's clubs for her. Jane loves William and will marry him. She returns to trying to hit the ball out of the stream with encouragement from William.


Are there any scenarios where a slower-paced courtship would be beneficial?