act 4 scene 2
Scene II.

A prison.

[Enter the Constables [Dogberry and Verges] and the Sexton, in
gowns, [and the Watch, with Conrade and] Borachio.]

Dog.
Is our whole dissembly appear'd?

Verg.
O, a stool and a cushion for the sexton.

Sex.
Which be the malefactors?

Dog.
Marry, that am I and my partner.

Verg.
Nay, that's certain. We have the exhibition to examine.

Sex.
But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them
come before Master Constable.

Dog.
Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?

Bor.
Borachio.

Dog.
Pray write down Borachio. Yours, sirrah?

Con.
I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.

Dog.
Write down Master Gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God?

Both.
Yea, sir, we hope.

Dog.
Write down that they hope they serve God; and write God first,
for God defend but God should go before such villains!  Masters,
it is proved already that you are little better than false
knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer
you for yourselves?

Con.
Marry, sir, we say we are none.

Dog.
A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with
him. Come you hither, sirrah. A word in your ear. Sir, I say to
you, it is thought you are false knaves.

Bora.
Sir, I say to you we are none.

Dog.
Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale.
Have you writ down that they are none?

Sex.
Master Constable, you go not the way to examine. You must call
forth the watch that are their accusers.

Dog.
Yea, marry, that's the eftest way. Let the watch come forth.
Masters, I charge you in the Prince's name accuse these men.

1. Watch.
This man said, sir, that Don John the Prince's brother was a
villain.

Dog.
Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to
call a prince's brother villain.

Bora.
Master Constable--

Dog.
Pray thee, fellow, peace. I do not like thy look, I promise thee.

Sex.
What heard you him say else?

2. Watch.
Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for
accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

Dog.
Flat burglary as ever was committed.

Verg.
Yea, by th' mass, that it is.

Sex.
What else, fellow?

1. Watch.
And that Count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero
before the whole assembly, and not marry her.

Dog.
O villain! thou wilt be condemn'd into everlasting redemption for
this.

Sex.
What else?

Watchmen.
This is all.

Sex.
And this is more, masters, than you can deny. Prince John is this
morning secretly stol'n away. Hero was in this manner accus'd, in
this manner refus'd, and upon the grief of this
suddenly died. Master Constable, let these men be bound and
brought to Leonato's. I will go before and show him their
examination.                                         [Exit.]

Dog.
Come, let them be opinion'd.

Verg.
Let them be in the hands--

Con.
Off, coxcomb!

Dog.
God's my life, where's the sexton? Let him write down the
Prince's officer coxcomb. Come, bind them.--Thou naughty varlet!

Con.
Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.

Dog.
Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O
that he were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember
that I am an ass. Though it be not written down, yet forget not
that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as
shall be prov'd upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow;
and which is more, an officer; and which is more, a householder;
and which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in
Messina, and one that knows the law, go to! and a rich fellow
enough, go to! and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that
hath two gowns and everything handsome about him. Bring him away.
O that I had been writ down an ass!
                                                     [Exeunt.]




gradesaver
Dogberry has brought Borachio and Conrad before the Town Clerk and is interrogating them. Everything is carefully written down to avoid any mistakes. Dogberry is completely incompetent as an examiner, but the Sexton takes charge and orders the watchman who arrested them to step forward. He relates that he overheard them discussing the plot against Hero's reputation. The sexton informs the men that they cannot deny the charge since Don John secretly stole away that morning. He further tells them that Hero was accused by Claudio in the church and died from humiliation. The men are bound and ordered to be taken to Leonato
The fear of the men that they will be cuckolds is inherent in the scene where Claudio accuses Hero in the church. Leonato falsely thinks he has noted that she is guilty. Claudio further insults him by stating, "Give not this rotten orange to your friend" . Hero's fainting is taken as sign of her guilt, leading Leonato to tell Beatrice that, "Death is the fairest cover for her shame" . This is part of the social norms, it is Leonato's way of avoiding humiliation. Leonato chooses Hero's death in order to protect his reputation and avoid embarrassment. Claudio now mimics the first time he thinks he has lost Hero. "But fare thee well, most foul, most fair, farewell" . This is virtually identical to 2.1.173. The audience by this point can tell that Claudio is a bad reader; after all, he makes the same mistake twice! He is also the most unfriendly lover in Shakespeare. Claudio dotes on Hero in his mind but prefers to choose male bonding over marriage. This becomes even more apparent in the next act when Claudio and Don Pedro mock Benedick together; Claudio shows no remorse for Hero's death and appears positively triumphant in having killed her. It is interesting to note that Benedick becomes speechless when Hero is accused. Benedick says, "Sir, sir, be patient. / For my part, I am so attired in wonder / I know not what to say" . This marks the first time that he is unable to comment on the proceedings around him. For Benedick, it also moves him away from his male companions and his jocular talking and towards Beatrice, with whom he is more serious and less verbal. Of all the men and women present at the wedding, only Friar Francis actually "notes" Hero. He says, "By noting of the lady...trust not my age...If this sweet lady lie not guiltless here" . The Friar is correct as we all know, and his choice of words, "by noting of the lady" is significant. It is the first time that anyone points out to the characters what we all know to be true; they fail to note what is happing around them. Friar Francis is similar to Friar Laurence in Romeo and Juliet. He tries to save Hero by making her seem dead. "Come, lady, die to live" . This parallels the death of Juliet. The later marriage between Hero and Claudio will serve as a resurrection moment. Thus Friar Francis plays God with Hero's life and later resurrects her in a shroud of death. One of the most significant lines is when Beatrice tells Benedick to "Kill Claudio" . She asks this as a way for Benedick to prove his love for her. Her demand essentially forces Benedick to choose between the brotherly love of men and the loyalty of a man to his wife. Beatrice knows that she must destroy Benedick's former male bonding. Her order is therefore a command for Benedick to support her against Claudio, and represents the only way for them to have a mature relationship. Much Ado About Nothing is the only comedy in which no woman dresses as a man to influence the plot. Beatrice comes closest to this function, saying, "O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place" . She cannot take revenge on Claudio herself, indicating the power of the men in Messina. Beatrice therefore falls back on her wit to get Benedick to challenge Claudio. For the first time sense is made out of the nonsense of the plot. This is done by the Sexton who cuts through Dogberry's nonsense. It is a crucial turning point in the play, akin to when Friar Francis notes Hero's innocence, because someone finally notes what is wrong and forces it to be clarified.
cliffnotes
Dogberry, his men, and the sexton prepare to examine the prisoners Borachio and Conrade about their crime. The bumbling questioning by Dogberry first brings denials that Borachio and Conrade are "false knaves." The sexton asks that the witnesses be called to give their testimony on what they heard. George Seacoal, the watchman, gives his evidence, reporting Borachio's overheard statement to Conrade that Don John was a villain who had bribed him to accuse Hero falsely. Borachio does not deny this. The sexton tells all of them that Don John has secretly gone away and that Hero has died. He instructs that the prisoners be brought to Leonato for judgment, and Conrade makes one final attempt to insult Dogberry, calling him "an ass," to which Dogberry takes great offense.
This brief scene makes Don John's treachery public, despite the clumsy examination by Dogberry and Verges. The prisoners first deny any wrongdoing when questioned by Dogberry, but after the specific evidence of watchman George Seacoal, their silence seems to be an admission of guilt. Conrade reacts with one final insult, to which Dogberry responds at some length, disappointed that the insult was not written into the testimony: "Oh, that I had been writ down an ass!" One sign of Shakespeare's genius is his treatment of many secondary characters. Less skilled playwrights tend to give depth of character only to the primary characters, using the secondary characters to move the plot forward in some way, but without distinction among those secondary roles. Even with the relatively brief appearances of Borachio and Conrade, we catch glimpses of significant differences between their personalities and attitudes. Until this scene, Borachio appeared to be the more villainous of Don John's men: He first eavesdropped on Don Pedro and Claudio; he later proposed the window scene with Margaret; he relished his accomplishment to Conrade in the scene in which they were themselves overheard . But when he learns of the disappearance of Don John  and of Hero's apparent death, he seems more subdued, not joining Conrade in the final insult of Dogberry. Furthermore, in the next scene, Borachio freely confesses and, in fact, regrets his actions, expects punishment, and exonerates Margaret. In earlier scenes, we have seen differences between the personalities and attitudes of Ursula and Margaret. Even the men of the watch were shown to be different from one another in their first scene . In the present scene, their straightforward reports of few words solve the crime -- in sharp contrast to the reports given by Dogberry and Verges. Ironically, the play's resolution rests on the testimony of two minor characters who have little to say -- at least competently.
pinkmonkey
Dogberry interrogates the two culprits, Borachio and Conrade, and their statements are recorded by the Sexton. They now need to be brought before Leonato, the governor, for action to be taken against them.
Notes This is a humorous, relief-filled scene. The comic interlude is meant to cheer the audience and provide an avenue for resolution of the conflict. Dogberry and Verges are amusing with their foolish dialogue and malapropisms. "Dissembly" is used for the word "assembly"; "perjury" for "sedition"; "burglary" for "bribery"; "redemption" for "damnation." Verges uses the word "exhibition" for "commission." The humor is further derived from Dogberry's insistence that the word "ass" should also be recorded because Conrade has called him one. The comic interlude is a necessary part of relieving the tension brought on in previous scenes, especially in the comedies.
novelguide
The watchmen Dogberry and Verges are in prison, trying to coerce written confessions of their crimes from Borachio and Conrade. A second watchman states that Conrade receive 1,000 ducats for wrongfully accusing Hero. A sexton informs the group that Don John has fled the country and that Hero is dead. Dogberry and Verges lead the prisoners away for further questioning.