很開心成為「同志禪聚」的一份子，多月以來與大家同修共享，感覺很喜樂。在寧靜的環境中，身旁圍坐的都是同心同在的友好，盤膝閉目，慢慢地放輕鬆，回到當下，回到自身，回到自心，放低煩憂，同修善業。繼而話話家常，談談佛理，閒適而自在。
One day a little kid went to his dad and tried to ask him a question, but the dad had a terrible day with his boss and was in a foul mood. So instead of listening to his son, he just screamed at him. Then of course, this poor bloke felt really bad afterwards, so he went to his son’s room and tried to make up with his son. He apologized, gave excuses and blab blab blab. Then he asked his son, what was your question for me? Then the little boy said, “Daddy, how much do you earn in an hour?” He replied, “Twenty dollars.” “Then can I borrow ten dollars, daddy?” Then the bloke thought to himself, “You little cheek! I only earn twenty dollars from my nasty boss and you want half of it! I should have thought about it carefully when I decided to have a child, you know?” Nevertheless, he gave his son ten dollars, cuz he didn’t want to upset his little boy twice in a day. When his son got the ten dollars, he went to his pillow and took out another ten dollars bill, put the two notes together, handed them to his dad and said, “Dad, can I pay you for an hour of your time then.”
Someone asked Tenzin Palmo once, “Isn’t meditating in a remote cave an escape?” Tenzin Palmo replied something like this, “To me worldly life is an escape. Sometimes when we have a problem, we go to a movie, call a friend, or eat a lot. Meditation means you have to face the problem and your own nature in the raw, and really deal with it directly.”
So for many of us, when we sit down and really listen to the voice deep inside ourselves, we will hear this little voice saying, “My dear, how much do you earn in an hour?”
我們的生活大都是向外，例如要面對家人、同學、同事、老闆、客戶等，沒有閒暇回到自己的內心。學習坐禪是一個不錯的方法把心拉回，看看自己的內心真實的世界，多些了解自己。
「斷斷續續」也許是一個恰當的形容詞去描述我過往接觸禪修的經過。記得十四歲那年參加了七天的八關齋戒，第一次接觸禪修，當時已覺得這是一個可取的修行方法。隨後亦參加過一些禪修基礎班去增加認識。
斷斷續續的，尤如聽信了綠絒的存在，買了地圖，甚至指南針，亦知道自己身處沙漠之中，非前往綠洲不可。無奈地，每次醒覺起步的時間很短，忘記的時間很長……閑坐著……更不用談偶爾被海市蜃樓所迷惑！
數年前，有幸參加了一個為期十天的內觀禪修營，才再一次激發起去修行的志向。然而，數個月後，我的生活發生了大的轉變，去了另一個國家居住，生命再一次的連根拔起。那時雖仍有想修行的心，但是其心念越來越弱，亦越來越受不了因為感情問題所產生的負面情緒……禪修的綠洲漸漸地被拋諸腦後，差點忘得一乾二淨。
經過三年海市蜃樓的生活，我再一次知道我已經迷失，是時候再重新定位了。我返回我的老家，亦返回那個曾經給我無窮啟發的禪修營。我甚至告訴那次主持的導師，我曾經因為生活上的不如意而不能夠面對在禪修中所出現的負面情緒，因此遠離了修行的道。他說禪修是有助我們處理負面情緒的，但是一個人的心力比較薄弱，因此與其他人一起共修，能互相勉勵。
在我近日的閱讀當中，亦發現有相同的忠告。在喜見長老和向智尊者的《七種覺悟的因素》一書中提及親近善友(善知識)是對治世間苦因的最根本因素。因為善友能提供至高無上的佛法作為食糧，意即她們是一切善法最根本的養料。
我很幸運能在這個同志禪聚中找到我的善友。她們友善的鼓勵和精進的共修，讓我對修行孕育了信心和歡喜心，讓我失而復得，不再對修行失憶。願斷斷續續的修行能變為無間斷的修行。
衷心感激能與同路人踏上菩提道，沿途拈花微笑，以心傳心。妳們也來試試看吧！
註：此文標題的「無間道」並非指黑社會影片《無間道》，而是無間斷地通往涅槃道路之意。「無間道」語出《俱舍論》卷二十五：「應知一切道，略說唯有四，謂加行、無間、解脫、勝進道。」無間道指開始斷除所應斷除之煩惱，而不為煩惱所障礙之修行。無間道以斷惑(煩惱之種子)為目的。