This is optimal living daily episode 12 15 an excerpt from the book The craving mind from cigarettes to smartphones to love why we get hooked and how we can break bad habits by Judson Brewer and I'm just a moloch welcome to Optimal living daily or the O LD podcast where I read to you from some of the best blogs I can find and get permission from and actually sometimes books like today. Dr. Brewers one of the world's top neuroscientists a psychiatrist and the director of research and Innovation at the - Center at Brown University, he's a leading Authority on how our brains form bad habits and addictions and the specific tools people can use overcome them. You can find him at Judson Brewer.com, which I've Linked In This episode's description before we get to the excerpt have you heard about the revolution in online furniture shopping and joy bird the company behind it all joy bird believes that you should never settle when it comes to your home furnishings and that you should always have the freedom to be boldly original. They have hundreds of styles and options from mid-century. Modern to contemporary an amazing selection of fabric choices from leather to Velvet even kid and pet friendly options. See how Joy bird is revolutionizing online furniture shopping create the furniture that brings you Joy today at Joy bird.com old go to Joy bird.com. Oh LD and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code old now, let's get right to it and start optimizing your life. An excerpt from the book The craving mind from cigarettes to smartphones to love why we get hooked and how we can break bad habits by Judson Brewer. Giving feels good. For those of us who get fired up when we see in justices in the world many might feel like righteous anger is a good thing. We may feel that getting up off the couch as we shake our fists at a politician giving a speech motivates us to vote watching YouTube videos of police brutality May motivate us to join an advocacy group or do some Community organizing. We may also wonder what would happen. If we didn't get angry will be just sit on the couch like a lump on my anger Meditation Retreat. I noticed that my habit was not helping me get concentrated. I started to become less excited about it disenchanted and as a result notice that I had a lot more energy freed up to do other things why that's probably all of us can relate to anger is exhausting on my retreat. This repurposed energy went to a less distracted and yes much more concentrated mind as the direction of anger died down. I was able to bring the proper conditions together to drop in A very concentrated State one that stayed on point for up to an hour at a time. There was a welcome change what help this one of the factors that I mentioned in the last chapter that is needed for concentration is Joy again, not the agitated Restless excitement, but a joy that felt expansive and tranquil if anger or anticipatory excitement move us in the opposite direction what types of activities Foster? Joyful stays at some point in my meditation training I learned It was described as a three-step graduated teaching that was part of Tera vaada Buddhism. It started with generosity move to virtuous conduct. And then only after those were practiced one practices mental development as in meditation the Insight that tradition and others offer is that if you go around all day acting like a jerk, it'll be hard to sit down and meditate why because as soon as we try to focus on an object everything that was emotionally charged from the day will come marching into our head making it impossible to Citrate if we come to the cushion not having lied cheated or stolen there is less garbage to take out as Lee browsing 10 meditation teacher specializing in concentration practices likes to say if this is the second step what about the first generosity? What does it feel like when we're generous? It feels good as in an open. Joyful state. It is suggested that practicing generosity may help us. Learn what it feels like to let go we're literally letting go when we give a gift to someone else yet. Not all generosity is equal what happens when we give a gift expecting something in return. Does it feel the same when we donate a large sum of money with the expectation that we'll get some type of recognition. Do we get the same satisfaction when we hold the door for our boss or a date with the intention of impressing her or him in an essay entitled? No strings attached the Buddha's culture of generosity tennis Arabic you highlighted a passage in the Pali Canon three factors that exemplified the ideal gift. Quote the donor before giving is glad while giving his or her mind is inspired and after giving is gratified and quote. It sounds a whole lot like reward-based learning the donor is glad trigger while giving her mind is inspired behavior and after giving gratified reward, let's break holding the door into two scenarios. We're on our first date with someone and want to make a good impression we go out of our way to hold the door for her. Going to get some signal that we're doing a good job reward. We might expect the door holding to Garner a thanks or you're so thoughtful or at least a note of appreciation if we don't get that nod it doesn't feel so good. We expected something and didn't get it in particular this can explain the burnout among those of us who are constantly helping others, but returned home exhausted feeling unappreciated like modern-day Martyrs now on the other hand if we truly selflessly held the door what? We expect absolutely nothing because we weren't looking for a reward. It wouldn't matter whether they think doesn't or not. It would still feel good because that act itself provided an intrinsic reward giving feels good, especially when untainted by an expectation on the back end no strings attached. This may be what the passage in the Pali. Canon is pointing to when we selflessly give we don't have to worry about buyer's remorse because we aren't buying anything this intrinsic Rewards. Leaves us feeling gratified laying down a memory to do this again. Next time. Now, there are lots of scientific studies showing the health and wellness benefits of generosity instead of describing all the details for you now, so you might be intellectually convinced why not just try the experiment yourself. This is one you can do without an MRI scanner or double-blind experimental design the next time you hold the door for someone see if there's a difference in your felt experience of happiness joy warmth Etc between when you had an expectation versus when Did it selflessly does this help in learning how to properly read your stress Compass what types of Rewards or in you toward versus away from stress? You just listen to an excerpt from the book The craving mind from cigarettes to smartphones to love why we get hooked and how we can break bad habits by Judson Brewer if they key to Joy bird Joy believes that you should never settle when it comes to your home furnishings and that you should always have the freedom to be boldly original from idea to reality. They Empower you to create the space and furniture that brings you Joy. We talk about experiences versus things on this show a lot and this is a rare case where it's both with joy bird yet one of a kind Archer made to your unique taste and have a 365 day home trial you can skip the furniture store and bring the showroom right to your home. It's hassle free delivery. They'll even remove all the packing materials. Then you can sit on it sleep on it and break it in. If you don't love your joy bird return it for a full refund check it out. They have hundreds of styles and options every color imaginable with free personal Design Consultants, and I love that they have kid and pet friendly upholstery options. See how Joey bird is revolutionizing online furniture shopping create the furniture that brings you Joy today at Joy bird.com old go to Joy bird.com. Oh LD and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code o LD if you want to learn more about, dr. Brewers book, you can find it on his site at Judson Brewer.com. That's Linked In This episode's description and a told podcast.com, but I'll leave it at that for today. I hope you have a great rest of your day. Thank you for being here and listening to me and for being a subscriber of the show and I'll be back tomorrow where your optimal life away.
An excerpt from the book The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love - Why We Get Hooked by Judson Brewer Episode 1215: An Excerpt from The Craving Mind: From Cigarettes to Smartphones to Love - Why We Get Hooked by Judson Brewer This book provides groundbreaking answers to the most important questions about addiction. Dr. Judson Brewer, a psychiatrist and neuroscientist who has studied the science of addictions for twenty years, reveals how we can tap into the very processes that encourage addictive behaviors in order to step out of them. He describes the mechanisms of habit and addiction formation, then explains how the practice of mindfulness can interrupt these habits. Weaving together patient stories, his own experience with mindfulness practice, and current scientific findings from his own lab and others, Dr. Brewer offers a path for moving beyond our cravings, reducing stress, and ultimately living a fuller life. Visit him online at: DrJud.com And check out his book here: https://amzn.to/2WSrqtA Please Rate & Review the Show! Facebook Group and Join the Ol' Family to get your Free Gifts! See how Joybird is revolutionizing online furniture shopping. Go to joybird.com/OLD and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code OLD. 