Hey guys, this is Lisa and Rebecca and we are here on the secret life of weddings. If you like drama, you're in the right place where we tell you the world's craziest, but true wedding stories. So get ready for the drama on the secret life of weddings. What is up? Everybody? Welcome to episode 101 of the secret life of weddings podcast. This is Lisa and Rebecca and it's like we're officially starting back at the beginning. It's kind of creepy know who we are. No, I'm asking what most I'm asking our listeners. I was like, who are we are we having all of our friends who are sitting in on this conversation Oh, I thought you were having a bit of an existential crisis or something. You're like Rebecca's like we've 200 episodes, who are we what are we doing? Why are we here? Same? My name's Amanda. What is the meaning of life? Good God you're deep today, right so I have right before we got on too much Esther perel. What is that? Oh my God. You gotta go listen to her. Oh, I don't I do know what you know, what bugs me is when I share something with people and I share it with like friends and I'm like, no I think You should listen to this is be really good for you right now, and they don't listen to it and I get so mad and I know I can't control other people in this instance. I would really like to control people and tell them to go fucking listen to it. Listen that just put that on your list for after world domination. Yeah, mine control cannot be that far behind right? You can't wait, so can't be are you sure I will enjoy this person though. Yes. Yeah, you know my user case. I don't know what's up. You know my music taste this isn't music. This is a podcast Oh, I thought it was a musician and I was like, I don't know. Oh my God, no Esther perel. She is a relationship life fucking Guru and a half. She's the one that was on Dax Shepard that you liked. Yes. Okay. Now you need to go Google her and watch her TED Talk. She's a bunch of them and not even the TED Talks. She even has her own videos as well. But she touches on everything from relationships to life and everything else. We are not being paid to promote her. I just feel like I need to bring this to the world. You just lie one needs to listen, you just like her you genuinely I do because I generally think that we can learn from something from everybody we meet I truly have always believed that I also believe that if you've learned something really profound in life that you should share it so This is me. Trying to share this with everybody and I need someone to go fucking listen. Did I ever tell you I told you about the multipotentialite thing, right? Yes that blew my mind when I found that and I know exactly how you feel. I felt I found this thing. I don't know what her name is off the top of my head because again, this is totally off the cuff. We didn't really think about talking about this but as a creative person I found this Ted Talk by a woman who was saying How she is a multipotentialite and it basically boiled down to when you grow up you're told you can only be one thing, you know, you can't say I want to be a ballerina and I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a violinist. I want to be a therapist. I want to be whatever you they're like, well, you can't be both, you know. Well, yeah, you can and a lot of people aren't happy in one job. Yeah, they need to switch gears. They need to do multiple multiple things. They need to kind of like Master a field and then Quickly move on Master another field and they like go headfirst into things. They are they don't do anything by half measures. They jump in they are abrupt about it that you know, this is and I was like, oh my God, that's me. I couldn't believe everything she was saying and you it is me and in this the thing because you start to doubt yourself and feel bad because you're like you quit things maybe that aren't finished or things like that because you just realize you're done with it. And then you're like, I need to move on to the next thing that could be my thing. Yeah, and apparently though that is not it's not necessarily a shortcoming. You have to look at it like a strength you have this amazing ability to shift gears quickly and acclimatize to different things and it was amazing. So if you Google multipotentialite and tedtalk it she'll come right up. Like she's the one that she has short hair. She's just so intelligent and she has a whole website dedicated to it, but it really helped my son like me understand myself. Hmm, and I didn't feel like a failure. Any more at the moment I heard her talk and I was just like holy shit, you know like she nailed me. I can't I didn't know this was a thing. I thought I was kind of a freak, but she apparently there's a lot of other people like me. So if this sounds like you go Google it because it's totally totally validating as a multipotentialite to hear her explain how it's actually like a superpower. It's not it's not a negative. It's a positive. Yeah. So yeah. I totally hear what you're saying about you hear a message and you need to just Like go find this person. They are awesome. They are a guru. They will change your life. Yeah, it's just about helping you reflect on yourself. And you know what? I mean? Like, I'm not a percent fact, none of us are perfect. You know, we all have things that we need to change about ourselves or grow learn. I learned very quickly that I my expectations of people are far too high. Really? Yeah, like from her talks you learned that yes interesting and I actually I didn't know that isn't that funny isn't that funny? I'm 41 and I did not know I was like that that's interesting and I actually am like that and then I talked to some friends about it and they're like, yeah you are that was like, why didn't nobody tell me you know, like it's funny that is funny. I'm going to have to you're gonna have to shut send me like her best talk or like what should I what should I check out first? You know that kind of thing. Well, it's one of those things where like, I love her TED Talks. For sure. I love TED Talks. I related more to her interview with dr. Shepherd only because it was in a conversation form as opposed to her talking at everyone. Yep in a TED talk she was talking to someone so it was very I got more out of that than I did out of her TED talks, but it's all great really truly. What are her TED talks about in particular because I love TED Talks her her biggest Ted Talk is about relationships. Okay, cool an Delta, T that type of thing right but I liked how she has points in it where it applies to other parts of your life and not just it placed you as a person rather than a relationship. Very cool. Her say Don't Own Me. So anyways, anyways, I got a lot of out of it, but I'm one of those people that does that so you're a very intelligent girl. So I will definitely check her out. I have a funny story. Awesome. I hope you have a few. It's kind of the point of this podcast, but no, no, it's personal. Okay, so my daughter is very trendy. Okay. I am not please don't think I'm shaming her anything like that. Maybe you'll have to take this out of the podcast. I don't know. Anyways, you totally won't and I won't hear this. She was wearing a cropped tube top, right? Okay, and these pants and it was like those like baggy pants, but they're like tied at the waist they go high and then the cute little cropped up. I fucking love it looks adorable on her, okay. And she's 16 by the way, and my son Rebecca dresses like this to and they match this like a mother/daughter thing. It's adorable. Oh, yeah, right. I wish I could wear it. I so wish I could be too. But anyways, my son goes. Where are you going to a baby shower? And I laughed out loud. I said whose baby shower cardi B. Seriously, it's like a baby shower. That is such a fucking minute. Listen, that is such a fucking male thing to say he has no idea what goes on that's like that's like a baby. Not that you can't wear that to a baby shower, but I was just like of all things he could ask her. Where she's going he a sixteen-year-old. He says a baby shower cropped off in a trendy outfit. That's a weird comment. That's like yeah blend of when men think women have sleepovers and have pillow fights and then end up ripping each others clothes off and kissing right? Oh my God, it was too much. Anyways, yeah, silly silly boy. I have something for you to do. Okay. Okay ready? Yeah. Look down at your chest Oh, no, you're going to fuck with me like a salt shaker, aren't you? God damn it. All right. I'm going to be a good sport about this. All right. Look down at your chest. Yeah and spell attic attic. Yeah ATT. I see your fucking four years old, you know. All right. Good God that was stupid and now everyone else I did it. I want you to come to her group and tell me that you did it. I still don't feel as abused as I did with the salt shaker trick you really you didn't see it coming. That's why I really, you know, it's funny about how much I was thinking about it as I spelled it. I was I was more worried in that moment about misspelling attic under pressure on a podcast for front of thousands of people. That's what I was terrified about doing. Oh my God so funny. Yeah, that's that's never not going to be funny. All right. Oh my God, share that with all your co-workers everybody preferably in a status meeting Monday morning. That would be really great to say. I have a crew group exercise for all of us everyone looked at your shirt and spell attic. Listen, if you want approval from your boss, just tell them it tell them it's a team-building exercise. There you go. There you go. Yo got a promotion. I swear. That's not a great Icebreaker. That's a good-ass Icebreaker. Oh my God, that's funny. Laughs you don't be great is if you're trying to pick up a chick at a party and you really want to see if she has a sense of humor. This works better probably with lesbians because you know, they won't be afraid they might get insulted. They might be like you are disgusting. Like I said, this might work better with lesbians because it's right lesbians are less threatening when they're hitting on other women, generally. Then like a male coming up and doing it but true. It could be that could be a really funny way for a hilarious lesbian to get a date just saying yeah, you know good really good ice breaker. Are we supposed to make note? Maybe the male's shouldn't do this to their coat female chorus. This might go over. Well, listen, listen here, but slow told us to do it. I also don't need to have your emails about your sexual harassment therapy at work just because you listened to our dumb suggestion. Okay. Yes. Yes. It is. Probably harassment. If you're a male doing this it's really funny. Laughs it's not fun. It's not funny for harassment and not fuck. No. No, but it's funny. It's funny funny thing if you're a girl doing it to another girl's funny. Yeah. Yeah, and if you're if you're doing it to a guy probably not going to be as funny. I feel like we're over explaining this. I think they get it. Yeah. I think I got it explain ourselves so much anymore. I guess not listen. So I wanted to ask you yeah quickly about what's going on with the Raptors because I don't pay attention and everybody when we were in Nashville was like we're Canadian they go Raptors and yes, everybody is freaking wanting the Raptors to win and I'm kind of just being like when is the next game how many of we won? What's the deal? Like? Yeah, they're playing again tonight. Well not won't be tonight by the time you guys here. This will be last week. But yeah, so it's key. M6 tonight, I believe out of 7. Yeah, so it right now it's tied right? Oh wait, I don't know that so you can tell me it's it tied. I don't know. Anyways, we're basketball fans, right? Yeah. I did watch the last game. Okay, and I was very very mad because I stayed up and I thought they were going to win now if they had won the last game they would have won. So because they were so far ahead and there was no hope for the Warriors. So I did stay up and they didn't win and it was such a stupid loss to sorry all of our American friends that are worried fans, but it was because they they try to the try to do a three-pointer when they didn't need to do a three-point like it was just it was a bit of a mess that game and plus the Warriors brought back one of their like big They have a lot of good players. Let me just say okay. They are and stacked. Are they tall? That's what I know but it's a stacked team. Right? Like they've gone all out and they put all their money into their players and you know, they've got they've got a stacked team. They have a lot of talent there. We have we we have we have talent for sure, but we are team we got harder just they're just fucking hard workers. Right? Like they're just they're not going down without a fight. Yeah. So anyways, one of their players was injured and he came back. His name is escaping me right now and he got hurt during the game. And so a lot of people said Canadians cheered that he got hurt. It was one of those plays where people cheered because it's just like, you know what? I mean? Like, I don't think they were cheering because he got hurt. I think there were cheering for Play Yay phone flasher, you know like he's really hurt and yeah granted. I don't think he should have been playing in the first place. But because it just he's injured and he still healing so it just wasn't a time to bring him back but they needed a I guess I don't know. I don't think of course they need him. But the same time I mean they would have got on got on just fine without him like, you know what I mean? Yeah, but anyways, so he got her in there saying Canadians, you know cheered that he got hurt and one Canadian actually went and sent flowers on behalf of all Canadians to him say sorry for the people that cheered but that we hope he gets better, you know, because we're just so fucking Canadian that we would do that so that I have a confession to make that was me. Yes. So yeah, so we lost and now there's another game tonight. So this is Thursday and so here we Go every time I happens every time I hear their name, I want to call him the Golden State Killer's not the Golden State Warriors because you know what? Everyone says that so funny. It's so true though. I've never heard of the Golden State Warriors. I have heard of the Golden State killer right? It's true and the Warriors have won the past four years. Oh really for might be 5, but for for sure, I don't follow basketball that closely follow hockey closer, but Shows you how much I follow any sports? Yeah, but people Canadians man there they're filling up Jurassic Park like crazy and they're there for it. So that's what for the record for those who don't know that is what we call the area outside our arena in Toronto. Yes, because you know where the Raptors or go go Raptors. Whoo. I feel like I should do this. I don't know. What's that did you say gir? Yeah, I went girl. So is he like that was my Raptor sound? That is the best I got so take it or leave it. I love it. I'm just saying it's awesome. So we have something we need to address but maybe we do it at the end of the show. Yeah. Okay, we have something we need to talk about that happened in our group and some do with our trip to Nashville. We will we will talk about it at the end of the show. Yes. Okay now in the news, yes, we got some shit in the news this week. Let me tell you what's going on bride steals bartenders tip jar leaving him with just 20 dollars. What a cunt Yep. This was posted on Reddit. I bartend weddings as a second job at a social club. We are allowed to put out a tip jar unless the bride and groom asked us not to or ask us to put out a honeymoon jar for them. So I was working a wedding and that about 10 minutes before I shut my bar down and the wedding is over the bride comes up to me to tell me she didn't want a tip jar. ER and she was thinking she wanted a honeymoon jar. She had the whole night to tell me this she was at the bar multiple times throughout the night. I apologize multiple times. And again, she says she was thinking that she wanted a honeymoon jar and despite hearing from guests how amazing I was and that she had thought that herself. She says no way people would have tipped and that they must have thought it was for her. He then takes all the money out starts counting it and throws me. Dollars and fifty cents the change falls on the ground and then she tells me to look for it myself. I honestly felt so sad about this. I worked so hard I guess I should be happy she gave me anything but is this? Okay? No fuck no harder know the bartender not listen the bartender and you must be fucking raging right now. Yes, so guys, I'm a former bartender. Okay, and The server and I managed a restaurant too and let me tell you. First of all, we make less than minimum wage just so you know, I think we still do I don't know I used to and we you rely on your tips right now. I get it. It's may be different for a wedding or what have you. I haven't bartender wedding. I have bartended private events though. Okay, and anytime a tip jar was oh I was tipped very well because people understood that I was there for like a set fee. That was it. You know what I mean? So it was really nice that at those private events. I was still tipped by guests in homes. Like it wasn't even like not I'm not talking to private event in big fucking Convention Center. I'm talking in a private home and people still tipped me. So, you know, it's nice to have those the fact that she changed her mind after the fact is complete garbage and I probably would have kicked it kicked her in the twat like soon. Yeah. Yeah, I would have I been like no, you're not taking it go. Fuck yourself. People are I don't care if I I'd lose my job over. I really wouldn't I'd be like I'm done. This is garbage. You are garbage human being to do that. Yeah. You don't need a honeymoon. Listen, you don't need a honeymoon fund. You need a trash pile fund Honeycutt. Yeah pile of trash. Yes ridiculous. They are so fucking hard. You're already getting so much money. Probably in gifts from these people. Yeah. Why are you taking that little bit from a hardworking person at your white like a vendor? I just yeah not With that level of bullshit. No, no, you can't change your mind 10 minutes into the end of the night and be like no I want this to be my honeymoon fund. No one would tip you like this. Anyways, actually you'd be really surprised guys people do tip very well at private events like that and it's very appreciated. Yeah, because a lot of times at bartenders when they do private events, actually when I did I wasn't paid hourly. I was paid a set fee and usually it was like 200 bucks for the night, you know, and that $200 for Eight to ten hours with no break just so you're aware. I can you know, it was very nice. And I knew that I would make some tips. I didn't always know how much but people were always so generous. It was lovely. I have a confession to make every time I work a wedding or worked a wedding anytime I go up to the bartender and ask them for a Coke like I never drink when I'm working. Not that I'm judging if you do have a wine, but I never did because of Many reasons I was always driving plus I just didn't want anybody to look at me. Like what the fuck you doing, especially mothers and stuff like that. Anyway even just getting a Coke from them. I always felt this tremendous guilt not to pick them anything right? I did but I don't carry money on now and I'm working too and I think they know that and they don't expect it from a fellow vendor, you know, but they don't I just I'm always trying to be like, thank you so much. Much does it you know, how are you doing tonight? Treating them like people right? Yes like that time when I saw the server venue in Toronto and I was like, I just want to tell you remember when the sumbitch eat my dessert and I was like, I just want to tell you you're doing an amazing job. Thank you. No, thank you for everything tonight. And she's like, thank you so much. It's so nice. Like nobody says that yeah, so just say even say thank you. Like if you even if you don't have any cash on you, whatever just engage them in conversation. Little bit just be like you're doing a fucking awesome job good on you, you know don't take their fucking tips and don't put the money on the floor and tell them to pick up themselves. That's just fucking gross. Well that goes without saying yeah. I God I'm so mad like it makes me so mad you because you know what? That's it's one of those jobs that you were so disrespected constantly and you really are instead of are very closely are it's a thankless job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so and it's not a job. Just run. Not going around making $200 a night or 300 or 400 night you there's only set days that you can make money. So it's not like an everyday thing anyways enough about that. Alright, Hawaii news now said on. Kawai I'm going to get this wrong why Kauai? Yep as the country continues to recover from last year's historic flooding. It has opened an investigation after an apparent wedding ceremony was held illegally at a popular North Shore Beach Park black pot beach park located near the yep Pier something pure. Hello really damaged. Oh spell it. I want to try to say it. Hennelly handle a panel. Aana Ellie. I yeah Hannah life. Yeah, Hanalei here was severely damaged by flood waters and has been off-limits to the public ever since the wedding took place in the morning of Saturday, June 1st and County officials say it was not permitted or authorized by the county in order to access their Eason calm down officials of Kauai. You've got bigger problems in order to access the area participants and attendees trespass through a closed Road way and a closed Beach Park both of which are Our active construction areas said County spokes woman Sarah Blaine Blaine says there are multiple signs and large barricades to make clear that access is prohibited volunteers with picturing people in fucking evening counts climbing over like construction barricades and everything and the mothers are just like fucking hell, they couldn't just get married in Maui. Yes volunteers for the community watch groups say they saw the party and their vehicles at the close Park and All the wedding coordinator on site that what they were doing. Is it legal? There's Resort where her hater bad bad wedding quarter coordinator. Naughty naughty he Shrugged his shoulders and walked away the coordinator of sorry said, oh my God, I cannot say this name spell it Mak a Jala makka, pakka. Makka, lie. Mykola, Makela Mike McCalla or Makela McCullough. I like McCullough McCullough. It's like makalah. Konkan Macaulay Culkin the coordinator of the fennel. I handle a panda lie. Oh for fuck's sake Swatch group, very frustrating for us as a community folks to not be able to use this park have access to this park and yet see this very large commercial. And take place in our Park. The incident was reported to the county. But by the time the officials arrived on scene the wedding party had already left. Listen, folks. Stop fucking trespassing. Okay, and I'm sorry I butchered everything possible. I could butcher in this story. I apologize. I'm not being malicious at all. I cannot say this. I am going to Source out every Hawaiian story about weddings. I can find and be like, I have a story for you this week, Rebecca. This one, you know, they're their names are really hard to pronounce. There's so pretty. I know there's so pretty the names are so pretty when you can say them. They're awesome. When I've heard them I think oh my God, that's so pretty. Yeah to read it now. It's not happening next. Okay. I mean, honestly, I'm part of me is like calm the fuck down. It was a wedding, you know, like yeah, but you know, it's just like it's like one of those things for someone runs it for everybody. Remember what happened? And where was that sacred ground was in Greece. It was angry on a Grecian I am yeah, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. They're not ruining anything for anyone. It's all closed. Anyway, they're not going to like ban weddings when the park reopens, you know? No, but it's also dangerous, right? Yeah, but my point is I wouldn't do it for the simple fact is what is their do damage and they're creating more damage. D'arnot's they're just being pussies about equipped for doing it and I figure Fuck Wit for Climbing making people climb over construction shit to get to your wedding that either is there no other Beach you could go to there's like 40 million beaches and they all kind of look the same like not perfectly the same but you know similar attributes. Yeah, they probably just wanted to know people around because what I don't have a problem with is when people get married quickly inside Disney, you are such a fucking hypocrite. I am I totally And I admit it and you know, why because they charge too much. So I'm like, you know, what you do you go for it. They do charge what? Yeah. Disney's never going to sponsor us now. No, I don't think that was on the plate, you know, you never know. You never know Disney wedding secret life of weddings guys sent off. Listen, that's true. And when this airs and then we're going to get an inquiry to do that. This episode will magically disappear from our catalog. So listen download and down didn't exist. It was a bad number. It was just not there it just you know, I deleted Episode 101 because it's unlucky it's like when you don't put a floor 13 and a building exactly. Why one is our 13. Can I just say how fucked up that is that that's still exists people not building and it was 13. It's stupid because technically there is a floor 30. This is stupid. If you've ever noticed that guys in some older buildings in particular probably look look and see there's like no floor 13 because it's considered unlucky. How fucking yeah. Silly, is that yeah. It's kind of hilarious. Yes, it's well, it's hilarious because they're technically is you just didn't number you just numbered it 14 instead. You called it 14 dumbass. It doesn't make it. What do you think 13 13 13 is going to open up into a magical Dimension where all the businesses fail on this floor? Yeah. Maybe there's some kind of thing around it where every floor 13 had hauntings or something. I don't know every murder that ever took place in a I was on floor 13 back in the day. I don't know come see me at my apartment. I'm on the haunted floor. Yes. Yeah, so stupid I'm going to if I'm ever on floor 14, I'm going to start saying I'm on floor 13 come see me and nobody will ever see Rebecca again perfect says the introvert. So if you're like me, you have some form of anxiety or depression or just something on your mind that you feel is holding you back. Back from really I don't know going forward in life achieving your goals better help online counseling is here for us better help is available worldwide and you can connect with a professional counselor in a safe and private online environment. You can chat with a therapist via video or phone or use chat and text. I'm loving that they have text chat. I'm better at writing down my feelings and my thoughts than I am speaking them better help is secure. It's convenient and the therapists are incredibly professional although license. Professional counselors are specialized in areas of depression anxiety family conflicts relationships lgbtq matters and so much more best of all guys. It's a truly affordable option. So all the secret life of weddings listeners are going to get 10% off their first month with discount code The Secret Life of weddings. So why not get started today go to better help.com The Secret Life of weddings discount code The Secret Life of weddings. Take care of you today God. That was corny. All right, you're up doll face. All right, we have a listener story first up this week. Because you know, we don't just tell Reddit stories. Yeah, see, she's like CC best friend versus best bride advice. Oh, I'm just I heard something upstairs and I'm alone in the house. Hold on. Are you get for sake for 1302? Seriously? Just hold on a second. I seriously are like boom boom boom boom them from above. But I locked the door. I locked the door before I came down. What did you have your heat on? No, I turned it off now Maurice. He's upstairs. My little cat. So I'm wondering if it was him. That was creepy. It sounded like a ball like when a ball there. There it is again. It sounds like a hammer. It's unsettling. I'm thinking it's go see no. Listen. I'm going to assume someone is hammering something nearby. There you go in another house not my it's not a ghost and it's just reverberating through the house. So, okay. Anyway, you don't want to go see anyways, I don't know. No, it's That's how I died. It was a good run. Okay, so we're back. Imagine if something just starts crawling under your shut up. Rebecca it's the big cockroach from Nashville coming to get me and then I see it like the hand come across your face. And then I'm like, oh shit. I gotta go. Could you imagine if Justin came home right now and open the door? I would fucking scream I would scream because he's at work. He's not coming home, but I would leave my shit. Oh my God. Okay, this this story better be spooky at this point best friend versus best bride advice. I had a best friend of five years of which we talked every day about any and everything. We were always laughing and joking about how our weddings would be and how we would be excited for that day. We never had any fights or disagreements in our relationship until the wedding process began. Of course, of course, that's when it all comes out guys my best friend became engaged in February of 2018 after getting pregnant a few months before the proposal like always I was very happy and supportive of her for her wedding and new baby. However, she any comments on several occasions that she wanted to focus on the baby and making sure everything was good for her child to come into the world and had never discussed setting a date or anything related to wedding planning after that her sister mother and other friends - one never stepped up to plan her a baby shower. So I decided to do so after attempting to ask others if they wanted to assist I ended up planning a really nice shower that she thoroughly enjoyed. Fast forward to September of 2018 my fiance and I got engaged her and her fiance decided to go to the courthouse and sign marriage papers and become legally married two days after our proposal. I was very excited for her and congratulated her as she had opted to keep it a secret from her entire family and only told me that she got legally married not to mention that she had only been a mom for about a week. That's a lot to do that week. Wow. Yeah hurry, I would be like like I have no interest in anything or anybody get away from me. I said sir. That's yeah pretty much was me the first week of my baby. Let me sleep. My boobs hurt her reason for going to the courthouse was because of insurance purposes involving the baby. I did not judge and was still very happy for her to spite portions of her story not adding up my fiance and I were and still are thrilled over the moon and decided that we wanted to get married on October 5th of 2019. Of course as she was my best friend. Salted with her just to ensure that we weren't planning anything that would interfere with her special day. Of course, she said congratulations and never commented on planning her wedding. I can see where this is going. Oh boy about three weeks later. I happened to be scrolling on Instagram and saw that she set her day for two weeks before my wedding despite the fact that we were still talking every single day. She never felt the need to bring it up to me until she noticed that I saw her instachat on. Graham weeks later. She finally mentions her date to me and I congratulated her and blatantly asked how will we work out being in each other's weddings and supporting each other with our weddings being so close to each other her response was that she would figure it out and run up and down the road to support me didn't really answer the question, but I didn't want to be that bride. So I let it go as the planning process progressed. She became more and more secretive. About her wedding, but wanted to know every detail of mine. Oh boy. Oh as a typical excited bride I talk to her every day about wedding ideas with my quote best friend not thinking that it would be an issue because you know, generally you don't you trust your best friend, right lo and behold As Time began to wind down. I noticed that she would use the ideas from my wedding and began to implement them into hers. For instance. She sided on the same exact colors seem exact time and eventually copying my bridesmaid proposals wedding dress shopping and everything. She was always very eager to find out what my venue was despite the fact that she made it a point to not disclose where I was hurt where hers was which wasn't really an issue the issue was that she was not honest about it and always played down her wedding saying I'm not doing anything special just throwing something together. One day she let it slip that. She had booked a venue eventually everything hit a wall for me and I ended up FaceTiming her and asking if we could discuss the wedding dates. I made her aware that it did bother me that our weddings were so close and that she didn't bother to talk about how we would work our special days out without getting in the way of each other. She profusely began to say that she was unaware I felt this way. She hadn't booked a venue or settled on a date or time again another story not adding up needless to say I received a text from her about five days later saying that she wanted to drop out of my wedding and that she did not want to take away from my day conveniently a day after I received that tax. She went public with her wedding website with the exact same colors same exact time and very similar wedding designs after everything resonated with me. I decided to take my wedding ideas in a Direction unfortunately, we are no longer friends over this one day that could have been easily discussed in settled out. Hell we could have helped each other plan our Weddings But unfortunately certain people want to make this wedding a competition. What do you ladies think is this worth patching up or should I just accept that she was probably a fake friend to begin with not sure how to feel about this whole wedding Fiasco. Holy shit. That is really shitty. I what do you think Rebecca? Oh, let me tell you the reason why she got married at the courthouse two days after you got engaged was because you got engaged clearly. Yep, so she clearly has to do everything before you which you know what that doesn't make for a good foundation for a friendship. No, I was going to say that's going to lead to bigger problems down the line. Yeah. I don't think I mean you can patch it up if you really want to but I think you should sit back and really look at how she's been there for you and what she has done for your friendship, you know, because you know, she's saying that she had no idea you felt that way but you know, if you if anybody anybody outside looking in at that, you know how the person is going to feel like it's it's a no-brainer really, you know what I mean? I think y'all so she you know, our writer or listener like reached out multiple times to this woman. Yeah to try to discuss things openly and honestly with her and she made it very clear through her actions actions speak louder than World words, right? Like she made it very clear that she had no intention of talking things out. Why should you she wanted to get the jump on you? And you know what? That's like I said not a good foundation for friendship. It's an it's not a friendship you you are her Competition basically also if our listener decides to have kids good luck because competition is already a thing amongst mothers. Mmm-hmm. And then enter a personality like that. I just I don't see that driving very well. So I feel like it'll only get worse. Yeah. Yeah, so I would say screwer just move on girl move on and put your friendship somewhere else. Do not give her the f Efforts in to suggest someone in to other people because people that are going to appreciate it or you know, put that energy somewhere else learn to knit do something that fuck the friend learn to knit. Listen to me a shitty scarf at this point is going to be more Comfort than that friend ever will be yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, where were you a little harsh? Sorry about your friendship that really sucks. That does suck. Yeah, but now you have a shitty scarf to keep you warm at night and us and I'll see you soon hug you Will totally come hug you as photographers. I don't know how many times you showed up to a wedding Rebecca, but there would be like missing ties. I don't know suit jackets to be the wrong size always there's always a mishap with someone suit and we have a new sponsor generation tux who have solved these problems, you know, you have everybody running around like crazy picking up the suits before the wedding day. You got guys flying in and Neva tably. There is a problem with the suit with generation. Tux you go online you order it and it actually gets shipped to your House like a couple weeks before the wedding. So you sighs everything make sure it's perfect. If the jacket is too big or something like that. All you do is tell them they send you another one. Yes, you can rule out all issues ahead of time. You know, it goes to all the groomsmen homes separately. It doesn't have to go to one location. And then after the party you simply throw everything back in a box use the prepaid label and drop it off at a UPS. So easy, there's free round-trip shipping free swatches free home try on and free rental for the groom with five paid rentals. They even have a website. Wedding planner program to assist all of you wedding planners out there. That's awesome. So let's save the time save some money and most importantly save your sanity by checking out generation talks.com secret. Don't forget to use promo code. It's a secret for 10% off on to you my dear. All right, we have another listener story. I'm going to be saying this every time now enunciate I'm not I'm not bitter now. This is a story of a wedding. I was maid of honor at all. Right, you know, it's going to be good then mmm. I was very honored to be maid of honor. Although I did feel like a little bit of a sellout because I had told her many times to dump her boyfriend now husband always fun when you get caught in that. Oh, my friend Pyrrha can be rather high-strung and gets really worked up about small things instead of setting a budget. She was determined to to have the cheapest wedding possible although both her and her fiance make good money while just because you making money doesn't mean you have to have expensive wedding. I was going to say like the internet would say weird flex, but okay. . Decided to have the wedding at her future in-laws backyard because it was free despite the fact that Pyrrha had declared the previous year that she was never going to spend Christmas with her boyfriend's parents again period was convinced that if she used the word wedding that the vendors would rip her off all threes all good do not get me started this resulted in a bizarre inverse game of Charades where she would call Bakers and ask for a white cake, but then pure would get upset when the baker's asked if it was for a wedding. We know why go back into a few previous episodes ago. There's a breeze and why I convinced pierrot not to self cater her original plan was for her and for the groom to make some sushi the night before and then cook steaks in their formal wear that sounds like that. This sounds like Poisoning waiting to happen. Yeah, I also failed to convince her to buy a dress that she didn't have to lose weight to fit into to pay the $400 to have her dress altered. She altered her own wedding dress with her parents despite never having sewn before. She also bought a sewing machine for this purpose. Yeah, that was pointless by the time you buy a sewing machine, right? I like how much are sewing machines like $200 at least 200 or more. All right, like good when would be even more but despite all the stress and close calls Pura fit into her dress. There were no seams visible on her dress the self-made bouquets and flower crowns were beautiful and not a hot mess. I feared they would be despite everything that could have gone wrong and the chain sawing that could be heard during the ceremony. Haha. That's funny. It was a beautiful wedding me and pierrot went wine tasting the next day. For her wedding really that's different that is here was glad you know, what? I would do that over the brunch. Just yeah pure was glad to get out of her in-laws house as one. Pierrot was upset that she felt judged when she asked for a second slice of leftover wedding cake for breakfast. I love her. Yeah, that's right to appear was also super upset that her new mother-in-law served her husband tried to Try to let's try to tri-tip steak. Is that where it's going? Is it a Steak & pure OU was served the Mexican leftovers that had given her husband food poisoning earlier in the week. However, the shit really hit the fan when I revealed that Pier is new sister-in-law Marilyn was drinking Rose a during the wedding. I asked where she found Rose a and Marilyn replied. It was her mother-in-law's special. - for special guests I Was Made of honored just a reminder. Oh my turns out that the that that Rose a had been purchased by Pura and her husband for the wedding. Oh, wow yikes. That's not cool. Wow. So the in-laws not so good. Not so good. I didn't see it going that way. I thought she was going to complain about the bride. I didn't see it going that way. No. Neither did I was like I was like what is happening? Wow. Crazy, well, that sucks. I feel I feel bad for the bread and food Point like food Mexican leftovers that caused her husband food poisoning that look that's just not cool. Listen, I would have assumed it was going to be the sushi they were talking about that's what I thought. Yeah, for sure. So this next story I saw this now, I wrote you as soon as I saw this and I was like put this in this week's episode and you were like, it's already in there. Yeah. Was it did you already pick it up or yeah. Oh my God. So funny. Okay. Yeah. So this was from Twitter and this is from someone named sixth-form poet. Okay? Now you have to you have to sit tight and hold on. This is this story takes some turns. Yeah, it's hilariously awesome. It's also going to take you a little while to see why it's on the secret life of weddings podcast. Okay fucking fabulous, but we get love it. But listen guys we get there in the end. Okay? Yes. So yes. He writes my dad died classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex, which is an England. By the way. I was really close to my dad. So I visited his grave a lot. I still do. I always took flowers and my mom visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad's grave frequently resembled a Eyelid third place at the Chelsea flower show. I love it. Nice, but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He never had flowers died on Christmas Day age 37. No one left him flowers. And now there's a pop of florist in the grave next door. So I started buying him flowers. I started buying flowers for a deceased man. I'd never met that's so nice of you friends with this guy. I did this for quite some time. But I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself. I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird, but I came to think of him as a friend. It's just too funny. I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school played for the same football club or whatever. So I Googled his name and about 10 seconds later. I found him his wife didn't leave. I'm flowers because he had murdered her on Christmas Day after he murdered his wife. He murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcom tunnel that Christmas night. That was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me. Of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks every couple of weeks for two and a half years. Oh my God so long so long I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn't going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years, but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology. I found out where they were buried bought flowers and drove to the cemetery as I was standing out their graves mumbling apologies. A woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents awkward. That's a long conversation. I did that's a lot to unpack lat I explained and she said okay, that's weird. But quite sweet. I said, thanks. Yes. It is a bit weird. And oh God. I asked her out for a drink incredibly. She said yes. Two years later. She said yes again when I asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife. I love that creepy Goosebumps Were Meant To Be that's so bizarre. That's some hilariously weird shit bizarre. Yeah. Anyways so good. I just saw that I was like this has to go in the show because it's remotely related to weddings and it's a great story. It was awesome. It was so good. I love it. My dad made a speech at my brother's wedding saying that if my brother didn't get to her first, he would have married her. It was so awkward. And so inappropriate. Oh Squeeze no, no, no just like you know that old dude. That's just trying to be funny. One of them is just disgustingly disturbingly gross is it though there's age gaps everywhere. Yeah. It's no that's not no Rebecca. There's no saving this. No. Well, yeah. No, I guess so we have our Double D's this week? Our divorce and dating. So by the way guys if you have any stories divorce and dating or wedding-related you can email us secret life of weddings at gmail.com and send us your stories. You can also send us to me is super super duper solid and put that it's a dating or divorce story that would help Rebecca and also you can send us your voice recordings to record it on your phone. Whatever we like that just make sure you're in a quiet area because otherwise it's just annoying to deal with so this week we are Are doing divorce. I was representing a woman in her late 60's who was going through a contentious divorce with her husband who was in his early 70s. He was cheating on her with a younger woman which depressed me. I was hoping by the time men got to that age. They wouldn't be controlled by their penises anymore. Anyway, after a year and a half of paying us to torture each other they signed the documents right after signing. They asked if they could have A minute alone. So I pointed them to a conference room down the hall. I didn't think anything of it. They had grandkids and he had a PhD in Psychology while she was a counselor so they should work their shit out. Right? I thought they were just processing things about 15 minutes later. I walked past the conference room on the way to the bathroom when it sounded like they were moving furniture in there. I didn't think to knock. I just opened the door. They clearly just had been having um sex she was pulling her skirt down and he was pulling his pants up. I apologized and backed right out of the room. It seemed they were sort of reclaiming each other with one last hurrah or maybe they were torturing each other and channeling leftover aggression. And that one that was from the new york-based family. Lawyer James Sexton. That's all it's all awesome. It's great. That's so good. So funny. This is it. This is the last time you get to tap this one. Last go. Yeah, so I had said that we were going to do a QA like a million years ago. Didn't you say that I know so I had to put this in here because she had written us and yeah, so we're going to do this right now. Okay? Okay. Hi. Ladies. This is for your QA ask anything episode. I hope it's not too late. I heard it mentioned in one of your podcast last week. So that's totally cool. We're going to put in here and I'll email you like No, this has bothered me for the past year and I really need to know if this couple is the asshole or am I please keep this anonymous because we are still friends and I'm fearful of it getting back to them. My husband grew up in a small Midwestern town. We live on the west coast. This is important because maybe my issue is just because of different expectations for each region. Anyway, one of his best friends from childhood called and let us know that he was and his wife would be coming out for a visit and Staying with us for a week. I'd never had anyone invite themselves to stay with us like that. But I really do like them. So I figured it was no big deal. This would be a good time to point out that our lives have been a bit tough for the past few years and they know it. I have been battling serious health issues that leave me fatigued and in a lot of pain rheumatoid arthritis and lupus I should actually be on disability, but I'm the only one working as my husband is out of work he tries to help out at home. But before my illness I took care of everything so he's a bit lost and not very effective. Just put some really nice way of putting these fucking useless just working and keeping up the house are tremendous strain on me. Also. Our finances are tight with only one income for sure. Absolutely. Understandable. Sarah friends came out since we live not far from many touristy areas. I figured they'd want to go explore not so they the beer came out each day by noon. We paid for literally every expense groceries tourist attractions Etc. I was shocked when we were at the ticket booth and they stood back and let us pay for the whole group. Wow, they actually seemed annoyed that we didn't spring for lunch on the way home complaining that she is a diabetic and needs to eat. We stopped and they bought food for her only. Oh my God. Yeah. I seriously did not want to come home after 12 plus hours of tiring work just to drum up dinner for people who'd been sitting. Around all day including DH her dear husband, so I didn't dear husband and his bestie made several trips each day to the grocery store on my dime. There was no help around the house. So I got to manage the messes the hardest part for me to let go is that just prior to their visit? I had worked a ton of overtime. The extra money was to help us pay off some extra debt and to get to a comfortable place that never happened because Of the overtime and went to their vacation. I would have expected to spend a little extra but not the enormous amount that we spent over the week. I need to know am I a jerk for resenting spending almost a thousand dollars on someone else's vacation or is this a Midwestern thing then they need to get used to I'm actually terrified of the next visit, but I want to be prepared. I also realized you're in Canada. I'd really like to hear your opinion and possibly of those in the midwestern u.s. No, thanks. No, they're douchebags completely. Let me just say that first of all, I was a guest would never in a fucking million years expect anybody to front anything for me. If especially if I'm staying at their home for free Hello, I would not sure if I would never invite myself to someone's home. Oh, I wouldn't do that either. I'm very much not a person to do that people generally have to ask me numerous times for me to come like yeah. Yeah. I would not feel right. No, no and you know what if they're coming to visit again? I would seriously set some expectations because it is not fair that you're hauling ass making extra money and spending it on someone else's vacation like this just not cool. Absolutely not and you should bring enough by hosting them. You should yeah draw a line in the sand create an reason why you can't host them say you're renovating the extra bedroom or like something because I feel like if you don't put up some boundaries. It's just going to happen again. Yeah manage their expectations because like Rebecca said because it's you're just going to be about money again. You're going to resent them. I want to know how your husband feels about it. Yeah. Yeah. I think you need to have a little sit-down to chat with the hubby about it because he kind of needs to put that in place with his bestie. Yeah, you know that. Yeah for sure maybe okay. Yeah. Maybe you guys can come. But if you do we kind of need you guys to help chip in with food and stuff because well it's like when you have a friend like me and Rebecca for instance, if we go out and we're around each other all the time, but if we're going out on the podcast, you know, we're not using podcast money to pay for something like a for on a podcaster for something. I'll pay this time and then Rebecca pay next time and like that's how a healthy friendship works. I it's like you have to find that natural like balance or else people will just get resentful, right? Feliz oh because it's yell one-sided. Oh, I have an example. So my husband and my son went out to be C snowboarding, right and they stayed with family now. Yeah for sure we had to pay for their plane tickets to go and why not and they offered they wanted to put up my husband and my son which was very very kind. Right and we really appreciate it and you know, they had been making them meals and stuff which they didn't need to but my husband full-out took them out three times. Inner there you go for it, you know because you just can't and plus, you know, he ordered pizza to the house and he like, you know, I mean he was trying to make up for that because it was he already appreciated just being able to stay there like that was already enough for him like and that's just the way we are. So yeah. No, we would never never never never never never do that. No, and I don't know anybody that would do that to me either. Now so I wouldn't say it's regional at all. I would see it the say it's just being an asshole. Yeah, honestly. Yeah. Yeah, they're cheap dicks. Sorry put some hard lines in the sand talk to your husband about it and they can get fucked the end. Thank you for listening and sending us your question. That was really really good. So the little political flag, do you want to explain what happened a little bit? All right. guys where fun comedy podcast and we took a trip to Nashville where we went out and we it came to our attention that the bar that we chose to go to had a political affiliation with Trump your president, so Yeah, because we went know that we went to the Kid Rock Bar which we talked about and apparently yeah, he is a trump supporter and I guess he's done some problematic shit with you know, Auntie lgbtq, you know, I did, you know gets very deep. But the point is we're two Canadians. We didn't make a choice of the bar based on politics. We also didn't know we weren't aware but we just wanted to clarify that we didn't mean to be supportive of anything like that. We Have No Agenda. Of course, we had you know, we're not political at all. So we want we just want to point that out in case that disappointed anyone it was not intentional. We didn't even know about it just to crazy Canucks and the state's having a good time. So thank you for your understanding and we just wanted to talk about it because we didn't want you guys to think we were trying to be supportive of something problematic when we really weren't and we wanted to say that we've made a decision to bring a a new rule into our group because a lot of people expressed concern about politics kind of entering into our fan group on Facebook the fans of Secret Life weddings and were space in our community. Yes guys. There's no room for it. Now. It's just you know what it is and I'm not saying that to be dicks. No, I just you know what we need. We agreed that we just need a space where you can go and it's not a part of our community. It's just a break politics are Very important. I completely agree that they are but our little Community is a break from it. Yeah, and we're just going to keep it cool in there, you know with pair up to 2,500 people now it's going to start to get heated at some point certain topics. And that's just a hot-button topic that there's really no point in going around in the circles in our group because we're comedy were not related to it. And there's so many places on Facebook. You can let loose if you want to, you know voice your opinion, which you're more than welcome to have either side. But if we can just keep our group chill about it, that would be amazing. We really appreciate it. But thank you for you know, understanding our position and for respecting that and you know, 99.9% of the time you guys are fucking fabulous in our group. So we love you for that. We appreciate you we appreciate your support and we know that you guys are going to keep politics out of it and we're just going to talk about broad shitting themselves. And really that is why we're all here Zach. Right, you know priorities right power to the bride shitters. Exactly. So you got funny wedding stories. You got something else another, you know harmless meme or something Come Share It show me show me a llama me my will laugh my ass off. Let's let's keep it about the llamas people. Just keep it about the longest. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah definitely just make sure to go join our Facebook group fans of Secret Life of weddings. We do have a ton of fun in there. It's a very supportive group. Inclusive very fun, and we love you all and if you want to come chat with us on the more regular, yes more interactive type of chatting come on over to flip chat download the app click chat and find us secret secret life of weddings and join our group go over there. It's super fun. We're talking about everything over there. Oh crap, I forgot to put the flick Link in the show notes last time so bug me. I will do it to send me the link and I'll put it Jonas I'm sorry, if I forgot that I'll do it this week. If yeah, if you're not down with joining Facebook, you don't have Facebook or that shit, you know, just download this app on your phone. You can only download it on your phone. It's called flick chat search for us in there. So your life for weddings. The lease is going to add it to the show notes. I promise this time I will because chitty chat with us. Yeah. It's a lot of fun for sure anything else to discuss this week or have we kind of we've covered the gamut. I think we've covered it. We've got it. Okay. Yeah and Rebecca anything can happen at weddings and we will be here to tell you all about it. See you next week. Well, that's it for us this week on The Secret Life of weddings podcast. If you need more drama in your life go over to patreon.com slash secret life of weddings to sign up for additional weekly episodes. The first few episodes are free. So go check it out patreon.com slash secret life of weddings, and we will see you here. next week
This week in the news we cover a bridezilla who stole a hardworking bartender’s tip jar and a story about Hawaiian wedding trespassers. A question from a listener about a copycat wedding that broke up a long friendship. A wedding where the bride cheaped out to the point she altered her own dress. The best ‘how I met my wife’ story ever! SKIPPERS - jump to 17:08 to begin the stories. Want more Secret Life of Weddings? Get some extra juicy stories exclusively available monthly on Patreon (the first few are free) plus early release ad-free main episodes every Monday over on Patreon! Become a Patron for as low as $3 a month & support the show at http://www.patreon.com/secretlifeofweddings Need suits for your upcoming wedding? Order for 5 groomsmen and get the groom’s suit free! Don’t forget - get 10% off your suits at GenerationTux.com/secret using promo code ITSASECRET Is there is something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp online counselling is there for you. Connect with your professional counsellor in a safe and private online environment – it’s so convenient! 