When we talk about colonialism, we talk about violence sexual violence against women, you know, indigenous and African women and that is very much a part of it. And so if we just think over the generations we have to think about how that trauma how that sexual trauma has been passed down. Welcome, evm Benito's to about consent the podcast that Sparks conversations about creating consent culture Foundry repair sexual empowerment orgasm equality and raising a new sexually conscious and consent empowered generation. This is a safe shame free judgment-free zone. We're both survivors and those who support survivors are welcome. I'm your host Russell really better. Welcome to 2020 Happy New Year. I am thrilled about how I'm kicking off this new year and new podcast episode. I have the Deep pleasure of having. Dr. Rocha Restless missa to kick off the new year with the most important topic of all for me, of course, and I'm sure for many of you because it has become a topic in All of our Lives whether we want to admit or accept that or not but consent body autonomy our rights. This is something that's at the Forefront of everything that we do and we don't a lot of times realize how and where the impact comes from. But today I wanted to bring on dr. Rocio because her work has impacted me in so many ways over the last year and I'm super grateful to her and I know that her work will also help you have amazing breakthroughs in your life as well. So I wanted to begin with introducing who she is in case you haven't heard of her and you would probably be under a rock because she has an amazing following and I was lucky enough to meet her earlier this year. So, dr. Rocha Rosales Mesa is a Chicana intuitive energy worker healer and Coach. She has a PHD in counseling. In Psychology and is a Reiki master. She comes from a long line of healers from both her maternal and paternal lineages. Dr. Russell has mrs. Mission is to facilitate mental emotional and spiritual healing for black indigenous women of color from an ancestral and the colonial perspective. She does this work through using her training in Psychology her ancestral wisdom and medicine and her psychic and path and intuitive abilities. He's through her work. She guides women of color to break the cycle of the colonial trauma that is holding them back that is keeping them stuck and that is harming them in ways. They don't even know. Dr. Russell s Mesa works with women of color to uncover their blocks to healing and Liberation so that they can reclaim their power through their intuition. She does this work through energy healings sacred circles virtual courses and coaching. Dr. Russell is Mesa is also a mother a wife. A daughter a sister a comadre a Community member. She is the first generation born on this side of the colonial border and Doctor Mesa is proud of her culture of her ancestors and actively uses them as guides in her work her parents are immigrants and her family originates from what is known as quote Eastland Jalisco Mexico. She is a native Spanish speaker and was raised in Santa Ana, California as the eldest daughter. To a single mother she is committed to her community and working towards Collective healing and Liberation. Dr. Rosales. Mesa is honored to be used as a vessel to serve as a leader healer and teacher Guided by spirit and her ancestors. That was a quite the intro that I know gave you a lot of information and background about her but I think it's important to give you that context so that you understand where were coming from with this conversation which by the way Was profound in so many ways and I think that you're going to get a lot of value from listening to the whole episode. So I know this one's a little bit longer than usual, but I want to invite you to take some extra time today to listen to the complete episode because it is Rich with wisdom and information that is going to open up a completely new perspective for you if you aren't already familiar, Earlier with her work. So without further Ado here is my interview with ducted Rocio Restless. Missa. It is my immense immense pleasure to have you on to kick off the new year for Theo. Thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the show. Thank you. It's my honor to be here and thank you for having me and thank you for all the important work that you do. Oh, well, thank you. Well interestingly enough. That's exactly what I wanted to kick off with was talking about your work and the profound impact that it has had on me in this last year and it actually started I mean we've known each other since I think the beginning of the spring of this year, but when I realized that your work had a deeper impact than I realized was it had started with a conversation that I had had with my mom over the summer when I learned about there was some history of slavery in my family and after following you, you know for the last year it really actually helped me to connect the dots about how Colonial mentality still impacts how we parent today because I realized how my mom had parented me how that affected the way that I view the world and how I viewed parenting even with all of you know, even with all the work that I do with consent parenting and everything, but after that Revelation, you know, what we had talked about how this is something that most people don't realize until Start to unpack it. And so part of my goal today was to have you on to help listeners, see how those dots connect. So I would love to start by asking you to share a little bit about you know, maybe give us the definition of what colonial mentality is and how it affects parenting because again would love for listeners to see how this relates to consent. Yeah, so all backtrack a little bit and tell them what colonial Is amine so colonialism is the process by which Europeans, you know, quote-unquote conquered settled the world and you know, that was African and Indigenous Nations countries lands and that was done by forth. And so it's important to remember that that was done by force and that was also done in the minds of Europeans as a way to progress. World, right? They thought that they were doing something good, right? It was also a very violent process and so colonialism, you know, there was violence associated with it. There was violence on humans violence on lands of violence on culture. So I think that's important for folks to understand just how that happened. Right and that most of us especially folks of color come from that At Legacy of being conquered of being we have that sort of trauma Colonial trauma. We've inherited that through generation. And so it was taking of lands taking of human bodies taking of cultures of knowledge of History. These are all things that were either lost or hidden. I say through the process of colonialism. So how does that transfer to Colonial mentality Colonial mentality? In Academia is defined as when a person of color believes that they are inferior for being a person of color, you know being inferior because they were oppressed by the colonized right? So they've inherited this idea from the colonizer that because I was colonised that happen because I was inferior, right? And that's an idea that that the oppressor put into us we colonised you because you needed it we call And eyes you because you were inferior and then my work sort of extends that because I believe that there are folks of color that are very proud of their culture. Right? So for example, you have latinx folks that are proud of being Latina, but that still have a colonial mentality right that feeling of inferiority still shows up in many. Yeah. It's so Insidious and one of the things that when you started at the beginning And I think it's a really important point because I want to keep tying this back to Parenting right one of the first things that you said was that colonizers thought that they were doing good, right? Yes, and they were using violence to enact obedience. And when we think about parenting the way that it is normalized today is that when we enforce Sometimes using violence to gain a medians, we think we're doing it for the good of the child. And I've now come to see how that is. So connected to this colonial mentality, right? So I think it's incredibly powerful when I mean, I know that when I first came to you with this realization, it was like so mind-blowing to me because when I looked at your work initially, I thought it didn't relate necessarily to me. I didn't really, you know, I thought it was important work. I continue to obviously believe it's important work, but I didn't see how it was relevant. Right and when I realized about my mom You know having Roots within slavery and then understanding why her father was so strict and using violence to you know in this was like violence that was accepted when we say violence nowaday. We think of really like over-the-top kind of violence, but I'm talking about like spankings and like chancla and you know using the belt and all of those things are still violence, but we've normalized him so much that we don't think of them as violence. We just think that's just punishments that were What you needed to do to get a child to obey but they have Ruth in colonization. Is that right? Absolutely. Yes, so we have inherited this idea that other people are property and especially other people that we view as as inferior, right? We view them as property and we end they don't have a ton of me. They don't have sovereignty over their body over their minds and we very much Children as a society we very much of you children in that way. Hmm. And so the ways that parenting is normalized and fortunately, I think we're starting to in do a lot of that. But the way that parenting is still very, you know normal is that children are told what to do that parents have should have control over their children when they don't have quote-unquote controlled their viewed as bad children and folks are viewed as Bad parents if they don't have controlled and these are all ideas again that we inherited from the colonizer to keep someone in line to keep control over someone, you know have someone be obedient and do what we tell them to do. This is not natural. This is something that was passed down from the colonizer that our parents our grandparents learned and so then they started engaging and behaving in this way and I think the Piece that is important to add is that there came a point where they did this to their children to protect them? Right? So when their child wasn't in line, then they became vulnerable to more of the colonizers violin, right? And so they you know, they thought they were protecting by keeping them in line and by maybe being more aggressive with their children and so over the generations, obviously, we don't have a colonizer. With a whip right having direct control over us, but that's the colonial mentality. Peace in our mind the colonizers still lives. And so we've passed this way of raising our children by the generations and one of the really painful and sad things that I that I believe has happened is that we've attributed this way of parenting to our culture like we think that this is just the way that we do things are cultural values. To have control over children, but it that is not ours that is not indigenous to who we are that was violence placed on on our right. Can you give some examples of how Colonial mentality is acted out in day-to-day parenting and even perhaps with language because I know language is you know, I've heard you on another interview and you had brought up the point of how language also is used still today. We don't even recognize it because it's So part of the culture, can you give some examples of ways that parents are still acting out this kind of colonial mentality and again even with language? Yeah. So very simply that when we tell children something as parents that we expect them to immediately do it without question and that we don't even take into account. What is their development like and they even process this we know so much about brain for And we know that they're so immersed in their world that sometimes they don't hear us because they're processing the whole world. Hmm But when we just tell children something and we immediately expect them to do it that is part of colonizer mentality that we that people are not sovereign right that they don't have their own needs their own one and we view children in that way right that they are just there to serve us and Obey right and I think I think we see that so much in the day-to-day inherent in our culture, especially in latinx culture. We are taught to when our parents tell us something we are taught to say Monday which meet like give me an order right and we used to think that that was just like good manners. It's good manners to say month in right? But that again is your you are asking for an order, you know, tell me. For her and so that is like a direct, you know, a very obvious way that the colonizer has made its way into our language even with children. Yes. Yes, and it's interesting. I remember hearing that interview. I believe it was with parenting and politics which is great interview for anyone who wants to listen to that as well. And when I first heard that I realized how often I use it with my mom how often you know, even when I started really like you just have this new You like set of glasses that you've put on to see clearer and you start to pick up on everything and even things like when you're getting up from the table and you say bit of miso like you're asking for permission to be allowed to get up like just even that kind of thing. You know, I just found to be really interesting and with my mom there is a lot like I see it so much more now and picking that apart is a very difficult process because we like you said, I feel like it's out of respect and I think a lot of parents especially grandparents find it very difficult to even want to see it. It's almost like the Matrix where it's like you don't want to admit or see that as part of it. What are some of the ways that parents can then start to become more conscious and aware of how they can make changes to decolonize. Yeah. So I think one is this conversation and raising your awareness and asking, So in what ways you know for myself even in what ways am I not acknowledging my own needs my own wants and what ways am I suppressing those in favor of someone else? Right? And that is what colonialism Colonial mentality is that we suppress our own needs in favor of an external Source whether that be Society or a person, you know and like People in power, right? And what ways do I silence myself? Right? And then how do I do that to my children? How do I silence my tool? How do I not allow them to have a do I not allow them to have needs and wants am I even asking them what their needs and wants are in regards to their time the activities that they have the food they eat all of these things because in Reality as parents. We do have a lot of control over the lives of our children. But if we want to raise children that are free from this trauma, we need to begin to create space for them and ask them questions and give them a voice right? That's at the heart of what I love teaching about as you consent and giving children, even the ability their innate right really to have a voice and to be able to vocalize what they want or don't want with their bodies. And I find that because of the way that we are raised culturally. It's very difficult for parents to see that as an option. Like how do I give my child power like they're supposed to listen to me and do what I tell them and that's just again that that mentality right. So I think yeah, those are great ways for people to start having that awareness is asking a lot of those great questions. So I think that's fantastic. Yeah, and I think you're right. That's the biggest hurdle. It's like it's not having power over. Over its having power with my childlike and also thinking about the future right in the future. I want to raise a free person. I want to raise a person that I'm going to continue to have a relationship with right that that I'm not traumatizing right now into silence and then you know, I think in the teenage years a lot of people wonder parents wonder why is my child no longer sharing with me. Why are they silent? It's because we Submitted them into silence, you know and so always keeping that long view of I want this to be an egalitarian relationship and equal relationship. And I want to keep respect them as a full human. Really? Yeah. Yeah exactly. I love that and it's true when we don't give them that respect which is really what it is. Like we're respecting their sense of being a person right with rights and all of their lives. We've been telling them what and when in to do and they get to a point where they are individuating right? It's a whole new understanding of self and when you've been controlling that their whole lives like there is going to be a resentment towards I want to you know, expand my wings and be a free person right and then there's a clash because parent just never even understood how to do that. Right? So there's a power struggle right which is where I think parents find themselves. Yeah. This episode is brought to you by consent parenting my online platform for Survivor parents to learn how to keep their kids safe from abuse. Did you know that children of Survivor parents have a five times higher chance of being abused because Survivor parents don't know or learn the tools needed to prevent abuse. They tend to overprotect instead of Empower and prepare you can change the statistics by becoming an educated parent get started by downloading. My free guide seven ways to teach your kids about body safety boundaries and consent by going to about consent.com forward slash guide. The link will be in the show notes to get your free copy today. Now, let's get back to the show. Now before we because I want to switch gears into talking about how Colonial mentality is actually at the heart of misogyny and patriarchy and how it supports and reinforces rape culture, which is another huge topic which I want to dive into with you. I wanted to ask you in the beginning because you started in Academia and I would love for you to share just a little bit about how you made this really big shift of going from Academia to really what you're doing now, which is you know, focusing on helping folks with even understanding the awareness of colonial mentality and how to decolonize and then also reclaiming intuition which is really a big part of your work now and how you're focusing to help others heal. Can you share a little bit about that? Journey yeah, so my whole life really was since I started in college, it has really been to the goal towards getting a PhD and really that was to help my mom. I saw because I was raised by a single mother. I'm the eldest daughter and so my whole life was like I need to get a PhD to then be able to help her and I accomplished that and I was in Academia for 10 years Academia still I say a very Colonial Empire Mint because it is very white. It is very conservative in terms of knowledge. It's like there's people in power that have the knowledge and those that don't have the knowledge. You need to be quiet and receive from from this other person and even just the way that it's a very toxic environment and I myself am an empath and a highly sensitive person and overtime like it just I was abusing my body. Really and it took a toll on my physical health and the last and I had to take a medical leave when I became pregnant over the course of that time. I was actually fired from the University and that was a big blow and a huge loss for me because I earned tenure which was I thought I had a lifetime job. Hmm when they fired me it really felt like the end of the world for me and I cried. And cried and cried but in reality, I think that that's what needed to happen for me to do this and for me to also speak about that experience and to share that perspective and it's not that I don't believe in higher education. I just think we could do it differently. I think we can do education differently. And I also believe that we don't have to achieve success at a cost to our health and our Mental Health. And so I feel like that was very much needed for my journey to be able to do this work. Like I needed to go through that survive that I had to figure out how to get myself out of you know, get myself healthy again start my life over really in a way where I no longer gave power over something external and where I no longer Place knowledge over my own into it, so these Are all things that I now teach the women of color that I work with and I absolutely still use my training as a psychologist, but I just use it in a different way and you know also talked about reclaiming our intuition. Can you talk about why that has become a greater part of your work now as well? Yeah, so I think for me I just especially for women of color and folks of color we often don't do what is best. Best for us because we think what's best for us is what is told to us. We so easily are vulnerable to accepting influence from other people and that again is directly from colonialism. And so a lot of the things that really were born for, you know, I spirituality is a big part of my work a lot of the things that were put on this Earth for we delay or we don't even choose because we go along With what Society tells us. Hmm, and we do that often to the detriment of our own bodies of our own spirits of our own mind and so for me, the colonizing work is really about doing all of this Paradigm shifts and learning and relearning but also about getting to a place where you begin to trust your inner voice your own your intuition because I believe that that is what is going to lead people to well. - to wholeness to Healing to Liberation. Yeah, exactly. I love that. Well, and one of the things that I talk about when I teach parents through the work I'm doing is also to help children learn how to tune into their intuition and listen to it because I think that's a big part of how we that's something that we're going with and when we can express it when we were young, we grow up not knowing how to tap into it. No as adult and I think particularly for survivors anyone who has experienced boundary violation. It's also something that gets almost stripped of us because if we found ourselves in a situation where we had a voice that was telling us don't go to this don't be with this person, you know, we have an inner voice but we've never trusted it because we weren't raised or taught on how to do that and then we end up blaming ourselves for what happened and there's a lot of shame that gets added. In so I love that you do this work because I think it's very healing in how someone can learn to release shame to start trusting themselves more. There's so many healing properties to that and in terms of being a Survivor just to kind of go back Circle back to that one of the things that I've also really started connecting the dots with more and more as I dig deeper into your work and continue on my journey of researching what Do is how Colonial mentality is again? Like I said at the heart of misogyny and patriarchy and how it reinforces rape culture and one perfect example is anyone who feels like this seems really kind of abstract is a very recent example with TI and his daughter Deja and how he was basically saying her value as a person as property is going to be devalued the Ain't that she is no longer a virgin. And so when I heard about this story, I was trying to educate my audience also about how this really has its roots in the way that women were property when they were married off if and how that all ties back. So can you talk to me about how you because? I know you also talked about misogyny and patriarchy through the work that you do and getting folks to see those connections. Can you talk about how those things connect? Yeah. So one thing that Folks need to understand is that the way that Europeans took over indigenous African countries was through raping the women because the women in these cultures were the most powerful and so how did you take control? How do you have power over these people is by raping them. And so that is very much when we talk about colonialism. ISM we talk about violence sexual violence against women, you know indigenous and African women and that is very much a part of it. And so if we just think over the generations we have to think about how that trauma how that sexual trauma has been passed down and how women it's really an issue of power is that women do not have power women sends colonialism. that power has been stripped away from them and they were deemed as not worthy deemed as property deemed as not even having a voice right so that has passed down to us in terms of even if we survivors especially but even just women of color in general we've learned that we're not in power or that we don't have a voice or that we are just here to serve others and you would Other people and we've learned to almost our survival, you know, those things that were born with a survival tactics our intuition. We learned over the generations to silence them as a survival technique, right because we didn't do what the colonizer told us. We would be killed and so that has been those behaviors of silencing. Our voice has been passed out and then has become normalized. And it's through this work that then women of color begin to realize that this is not something that's natural. This is not my fault even or not listening because I think also when people start learning about this work there is a layer of Shame, you know of like I wasn't honoring my voice I wasn't doing these things and I always say it's not your fault and to have compassion or where you are. Our anything compassion for just the generations of trauma that you are undoing. You know that it's okay to be where you yeah, I love them. I love that. It's so true and it's so needed for women to hear that because women do Blame A lot of times the situations that they put themselves in and we that was something that I grew up with for a really long time was being told like don't wear the skirt. That's too short or red lipstick or be in the wrong place at the Wrong time. So it was always putting the pressure on yourself of not doing the wrong thing. And then if you did for whatever reason find yourself as a victim of sexual abuse or any other kind you still blamed yourself, even though you knew it wasn't at the heart, you know, it's not your fault, but you still feel responsible because of what you know, what culture and your family perhaps even told you so I think it's important to break that concept down to understand where those things come from so you can really Not just say it on the surface to say it's not my fault, but to really understand it in like a deep level. You know, I think that that is really healing as well to know because I when I started to realize it when I started to see those differences and understand where these Concepts and ideas came from I understood one on a heart level on a root level versus just like to know it as a sort of an affirmation, you know, what are some things that women can do? Tickly women of color say no that's who you work with specifically that they can do to impact our Behavior or you know how to impact culture in a way that is just by simple things that we can do either with ourselves or with the way that we interact with other people. What are some of the things that you recommend that that women can sense. Yeah. So I think the work it can feel overwhelming sometimes and so if you're listening and and you're feeling like this Is so much and where do I start? You know, I always say it starts with you. It starts with how you interact with your cell, right? And again, how can I honor myself whether that's like even down to Basics? Like am I getting enough rest? Am I allowing more rest and sleep? Am I feeding myself foods that are nurturing and these are things that can seem very simple, but that are not Simple because over the generations because of this colonial trauma. We've been taught to deny our needs right that it's more about work and it's more about serving other people that I just exist to serve other people. And so when we start to just take a step back and ask ourselves, what do I need? Right? How can I honor myself? How can I allow for rest for myself, right? What can I do for fun? Like to bring joy into my life right and not what other people want or what I can do for them and and how I can make other people happy, but how can I make myself and that is huge that is revolutionary. That is you beginning to undo this colonial trauma. That is you standing up for yourself. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I love that too because I know from even a Survivor mentality which I'm grateful. I moved past to feel like I'm thriving now and I think that came from realizing true self worth and how it doesn't come from having to serve everyone and people please and just give give give in your for them to see my worth and then when I started to realize how that actually does come from that Colonial mentality, which is so crazy how Insidious it is because like I learned it from my mom who learned it from her parents. Parents of how to throw worth comes from how you give and how you serve and how you deliver it to someone else and then expect to receive the accolades Right Said of knowing that you are innately worth, you know worthy. Yeah regardless of what happened to you regardless of and again, even the whole idea of a Survivor because of assault feeling like you're less than because your value as a person has somehow been tainted or It has you're no longer virginal or Pure or whatever. It was that you know that idea like all of those things. I can see the roots of it in all of that. So it's fascinating and when you talk about, you know, something as simple as rest, it seems so simple, but I know for my mom, for example, it's really hard for her to do and yeah, yeah, it's crazy. So I think those are really important basic foundational steps. And once you feel like you can are those you can you know move on to those next this so I love that and I think when folks think of like rest and all these things right think about it as taking back your power and think about it as also taking back your ancestral power now a my resting for my mother and for my ancestral mother's right. The reason why we don't feel worthy of resting is because our ancestors were not allowed to do that. Right with the reason why we don't feel Worthy is because the colonizer place that into us to control us. The reason why women don't feel like they just are worthy just because they aren't they needed us to believe that to control them. And so always thinking that it's related to that power to control right? And when I do these things like resting like allowing myself like asking myself, what do I want in? You know not what does my family want? What do I want? You know and how can I set boundaries so that I can create Sacred Space for myself that is you re claiming that how that is you taking them? Yeah, exactly. There's so much and one of the things that you know, one of the reasons I wanted to bring you on was to get people to learn about what you do in the work that you do because I want them to start to follow your work and so I would love to I want to invite listening to definitely check out that the rocio's work. How can people find you what is on the horizon for you? First of all, and then also how can people connect with you if they're interested in learning more about you? Yeah. So this month in the beginning of the month, I have a webinar just to kind of introduce breakdown colonialism and Colonial mentality for folk because it is deep work. You know, I realize it's not work where you just read about. About it one time or take a course like that's ongoing. It's really healing healing work. And so I'm going to have a webinar at the beginning of this month. And then I'm going to have a coaching group towards the end of the month where I take a group of women just ten women to really dive deep into this work. And so that's what I have and I'm really excited just about having folks really go on this journey for themselves and And began to uncover this for themselves and really begin to heal from them. I love that and you also you're on patreon, of course, so people can still connect with you that way as well. Yes, and I'm also on patreon and so I have a circle that I do with women of color every month and if there are just simple questions that something that they're going through that they want to receive coaching related to this work. They have a question. Like how does this apply to me? Or you know? No, I heard you on this podcast and this made me think of this and I want to ask you a question patreon is a great way to do that. I show up live monthly awesome. So how else can people connect with your work because I mean, I know you're on Instagram, but you recently started a second page. So can you talk a little bit about that also because I find what recently has been happening as fascinating and I think it speaks to the culture of people pushing back on you no fear right it Down to fear he talking about that. Yeah, so I am on Instagram at dr. Russell has misled Dr. Dot will Salas Meza and I created a backup account because really like this work that you and I do is really about this man playing the patriarchy and a lot of folks push back against that I know that you've seen that in some of your lives, you know pushback from people and so whenever you do dismantling work, Of the patriarchy there is going to be pushback and there is going to be men that are not okay with this workout and we'll want to shut down the work and so on Instagram I created a backup account just to you know preserve that Community just as a safety measure and so that's dr. Little said is messed up without the dot and I am also on Facebook and I am going to get back to lives doing on their to have these conversations. Live and they're saved on there for folks to view and I have conversations about this awesome. And then of course you have your website where people can connect with you directly as well. Yes. Www.drexelhillnissan.com. Perfect. Yeah. I like I said, I found you while we connected through different totally different way, but we connected in the beginning of the year and it has really taken all of this time to really connect the dots. Right and not that I wasn't doing that before but when I first connected with your work, like I said, I didn't realize how it impacted me until I made that connection with my mom and having that conversation and ever since then I actually have now a genealogist that is going to help me dig into all of that history to really understand because I had no idea how that was acting, you know and to help me make so many changes now with the way that I continue parenting and learn more and more each day. So I think Your work fascinating. I hope that listeners will check you out. I'm an of course post all of those links in the show notes, and I wanted to end the episode each week or every time that I have a guest. I always ask them to offer some advice on one of the main topics which I talk about on my podcast which are consent boundaries or sexual empowerment. So I always ask them to choose one topic to give advice on what would you like to give the listeners some advice in relation to one of those topics? Yeah. Yeah, I think boundaries is a big one. I think boundaries is a big one and boundaries also for women is just is again a paradigm shift and I want them to know that it's setting healthy boundaries again is a way to reclaim your power. It is also a journey and it is also a process and so initially it's going to be very difficult. And so I just want to normalize that don't give up. When someone doesn't honor your boundary right to continue, it's a process that folks will continue to have to respect and you have to keep holding the line. You have to keep holding the line for folks to honor your boundaries because you are teaching them a new way to treat you and interact with you and that in setting boundaries. You are really honoring your and so I just want to normalize that it's going to be difficult. Walt that it's going to take time but that you are worth it and that you are not a bad person a mean person for setting boundaries really setting boundaries is about respecting and honoring yourself and respecting the relationship that you have with another person because you set boundaries to preserve related. So I want folks to like change their perspective about how they view boundaries boundaries are really love, you know. Love for myself and love for that relationship. So knowing that it's going to be a process and knowing that really it's a gift for yourself. And for the other Hallelujah, I you know, that is so perfectly said love is boundaries and it is respecting that relationship. So I absolutely love that. Thank you for sharing that. So, let's see. Oh, thank you so much for being here. I absolutely loved our conversation. And I know that this is a deep topic. I was like likely invite you back on the show later this year so we can dive into yeah because there's so much to dig into it and particularly parenting this topic goes deep with respect to consent. So I hope that you come back and join us again, and I can't wait to hear your feedback listeners about this. So thank you to CEO for being here. Thank you for having the listeners. Thank you again for joining us. And I know that you're going to get so many light bulb. From this conversation. I would love for you to share them with us screenshot this if you're listening on your phone screen shot it and tag us posted on Instagram and tag us both. We would love to know. What was your best takeaway from today's episode and just be sure to follow that the Rocio again. The links will be in the show notes, and I can't wait to hear from you until next time stay in powered. I'll talk to you next time. Bye don't miss the The next episode be sure to subscribe to the podcast and I would be so grateful. If you took one minute to post a 5-star rating and reviews on iTunes. So that others can also find this information. I will be shouting you out and thanking you on the next episode if you found this useful be sure to share it with others as well. Let's continue to create consent culture one conversation at a time stay empowered.
         You know how I roll by now... I like to go deep! And in this episode we definitely dive into all the things!There are so many parts of this podcast that will open your eyes and I can't wait to hear your feedback! In this episode Dr. Rocio Rosales Meza and I talk about:What colonial mentality isHow it influences the way we parentHow it relates directly to consentHow it infiltrates our current language and cultureThe ways that it can affect our mental wellnessHow tapping into our intuition can be liberatingThe connections that colonial history and colonial mentality have deep roots in rape cultureWhat we can begin to do to decolonize our mindsThings we can begin to do to take back our powerWhy this all matters to women's rights and WOCLinks Mentioned In The EpisodeWebsite:https://www.drrosalesmeza.com/https://www.patreon.com/DrrosalesmezaSocial:https://www.instagram.com/dr.rosalesmeza/https://www.facebook.com/drrosalesmeza Subscribe & Review in iTunesAre you subscribed to the AboutCONSENT™ podcast? I don’t want you to miss any episodes. I’m adding Spanish episodes to the mix this year and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!If you love any of the episodes, I would be super grateful if you left me a review over on iTunes, too! your review helps others find my podcast (plus reading them gives me life!). Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favourite part or takeaway of the podcast is. Thank you y gracias! 