What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. Hello and welcome to the dad and buried podcast episode 39. The topic is Halloween. What an amazing top? It is a good topic. It's timely to you know, Halloween is next week. Is it really? Yeah. It's a week from today if you're listening to this on Thursday. It's a week from today. My name is Mike. I'm sometimes in character and in costume get it no as dead and buried on Instagram. I have you know, some people check me out on Instagram sometimes. Nothing to brag about a lot of people have literally nothing. Yeah, seriously literally, it's actually kind of sad that I talk about it as much as I do. I have a Blog and in a various other social media that hasn't platforms Blog has been suffering, you know, why because all of media as an as a whole as an ecosystem is really collapsing in and of it on itself. This is true. I like how you threw ecosystem in there. So people know off the bat that you're pretentious. Yeah. No, I mean it's broke. I am also a huge. Rick and I spend most of my time talking shit about my kids who I do happen to love they're just annoying as almost everybody's listening to this would either agree or deny, but actually really think deep in their heart of hearts their kids are annoying. First of all, if you're listening to this sit down relax, yep have it they grab a glass of merlot perhaps or I mean, is that what you want to do the most? No, I don't drink Merlot. I mean, well, that's okay, you know, what sideways came out and all of a sudden was fashionable to - Merlot most of these people don't even know the difference. I think everyone including myself. I like a good tempranillo or a Malbec little spice to it's hot. That's really hot. It is hot. This is this is your chance. There's plenty of parenting advice out there. That's great. And don't worry about the police sirens in the back. We're fine. We're everything out here now, but this is your chance to just scream into a fucking void. Listen to some parents who are worse than you. Yeah, right. Be like, you know what? I just feel a little bit better about you know, what I don't cater to women. I'm happy for all the moms in the women that are listening. You know, what I don't cater to women. I am myself. I don't get anybody. Excuse me, you make a mean pig in the blanket and I didn't you know what number of people you know, what just because when you're when you got it flaunt it, you know what I'm saying, but the pig in a blanket, you know, what that's mean. You're beat you're trying to be nice. It's us against the audience all that us against each other. You know what it's me. Hence the world. Yeah, that's true. You really do have a very confrontational personality. Well, I'm I'm Pete maybe I should introduce myself Mike. I don't think you have to they're here for me. Let's be honest. Okay, okay actually do like that. They do like the no window for they do like the banter. Look there's no window for me. I don't need a monologue all night. Let's hear what you got. This is me. I'm Pete and I'm into neoprene. Janitor. I don't know what that means. Yeah. So no one does if you didn't know already, I'm sure you did because you said ecosystem. He's a pretentious asshole. What's pretentious? Pretty much pretentious. It's pretentious. So, you know what just because I can't speak and I'm on a podcast who gives a shit. What is Neo Prima janitor mean? Well, it's new Primo. Janitor, which is the feudal system of giving everything to your firstborn. So I write tonight. We'll be talking about Halloween because it's Neo. So that means that I instead of if it doesn't have to do with the Matrix. I don't want to hear it instead of giving everything to my firstborn fucking son. I'll give anyone anything to the first person who does what they're what they're told anybody. Anybody you know, what's your teeth there is whether account not going to have your Twitter account that says it's not going to their Twitter accounts would occasionally pop up and they'll go. Hey, I'm giving $5,000 to random person who retweets this you have to be following me. Right and you feel like such a sucker if you do it, but then you like how you know what I can use $5,000 what I don't understand that's not the same thing. It's exactly the same as your stupid oil progenitor what it looks like first Prima nocta a from Braveheart, you know, was it like that? Now what's not I hope that Prima nocta has nothing to do with Prima genitor, which is a they both they sound similar inaudible Freedom system where it's just he's wonderful. Yeah, here's what's easy about it. My firstborn son. Everything goes to you. I don't have to worry about it done. You know what and now instead in the modern time. Whoever brushes their teeth first without me having to ask on first ask they get everything sometimes what it's never going to happen sometime. No one's going to listeners comment and they say you were too hard on Pete and then I'm going to say go to episode 39 and listen to the intro and you tell me if I'm too hard on feet. I will give you the time stamp this Neo primogeniture bullshit. Yeah. Anyway, look if you do listen, thank you very much. If you comment. We really appreciate it. If you're if you're a patron who happens to give us a little bit of money to keep us doing this, you know, we love you very very much. We love you more than the other people which is the fact I mean if you have raided Us in reviewed us rated us and or reviewed us, really We need our ratings ratings would be we hit 100 weight ratings two weeks ago, which is why last week was our much-ballyhooed controversial topic which recovered anti-vaccination. Yep, when we hit we can say 200 or what if it were going to say 200 when we hit 200 ratings will do another stunt. Yeah for sweeps. Yeah another stunt episode or when I don't know that will be yeah, if you have any suggestions, we'll see maybe we'll do Prima nocta on are what this time will be Pro vaccines. Yes. Yeah, we'll just flip it we were probe acting. I know you want your learner's York. Anyway, we do want to thank the people who are a patron so far. We have a handful of them on the single. Dad to hear Chris Coleman Miriam Ms. Baybayin, shake your kids at the door. Check out his Instagram account and Emma cedeño 1980. Thank you for changing your name the dad bod here Barbara Geiger morning glow Jacques. Gove are the new rock. I think his social security number is true for 601. That's that's would be hard on Val Jean Jacques over and it's not such a cutie. I'm his prisoner two four six. You know, I know like all the lyrics to Les Miz. Should I start at the beginning or do you want me to know one day more a the fact that you and by the way, first of all our friend jock our new members talk to our family is from Germany just like our bags. Yeah. That's another another German internet huge in Germany. Is this the weirdest thing the Father Figure tears my old friend Julie McCarthy Joseph died chasing AKA The Collector we call him Sarge around these parts Paula Paul ski, the world's greatest CFL fan and Jennifer win the world's greatest dad tear Mary Williams, the my new dad tear Sarah Desiree kissing were not going to sing it this time and Monica last week when I was talking about Monica I said is she related to Monica from Friends, which is obviously nonsense and then I made the mistake of calling her Monica Ross. Like that was her last name, which is actually her brother's first. Name is Monica Geller. Yeah, I apologize for bringing the douchebag. Ross's name into this. Why you to go douche people hate Ross. He's the most hated character on the show. Is he I think Monica might be the worst character. You just sorry. I mean no offense to Monica. I do. You know what? I've got some unconventional opinions. You might also have some sort of Alzheimer's early Alzheimer's have because I'm forgetting things. I'll be I think I remember too much. That's Yeah. Well, yeah, I'm certainly remembering way too much right now. Yeah, well later we'll talk about And the lyrics I remember from Les Miz. Okay, then you'll be free. I don't know master of all, right. So yeah, we look we appreciate all the support you can give us whether it's through comments or through sending us some some dough through patreon. Thank you very much. Keep it up. We really need all your ratings. Even if you only listen to this intro and then Pete's nonsense turns you off just go give us a five star rating and then we'll never talk about don't ever have to listen to us. We don't care we want. The 200 when we do 200 I'm going to sing. The entirety of lame is that will be the entire episode. That's if he's home and then a couple weeks after that. I'll do Hamilton get a rhino that one too. You should be arrested so you can check out all those links on my Instagram bio. My Instagram name is dead and buried Pete's Instagram name is I don't have an Instagram because I'm a fucking piece of shit. No, it would really help our following if I had a fucking social presence, but he said Shucks Bots people fucking ruin your Russian Bots joke, you know, what? Is it a joke now, we'll see who wins the election. 2110 it when my guess what your tongue is rebelling against your nonsense Neo primogeniture. Anyway, we're coming back to talk about Halloween. Hopefully this Halloween Pete will dress up as somebody who's not such a huge piece of shit happened right after this. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Wherever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for Dad and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right, we're going to get into Halloween tonight. Alright, and now a lot of people especially when their kids Halloween is their favorite holiday, I guess Christmas were you getting gifts? Yeah. So we talk about Christmas is that's well hot. Look if you're listening to this on Thursday Halloween is a week from now. If you're listening to this shortly after its recorded Halloween is even closer because that's how time works. But if you're in the United States you care much more than if you're listening and you're not yeah. Yeah, well, there's a comment about that. We're a little Tremor 80 who's one of our listeners from England. I think Nottingham says that Halloween is not wasn't really a thing until the last couple of years is so yes, sir. Yeah, I guess big chocolate got their hooks in England. Classic Cadbury's. So Halloween is I can't I can't say I was huge into it like during my single years, I guess a kid. I was and then skipped right and then when I met my wife mom and Barry check her out on Instagram, she is huge into it. I wore a bunch of costumes for Halloween parties and With her and then we had kids because I'm a good dad. And I want them to have fun and and I don't want to be the guy on the sidelines who just watches and does and doesn't do shit doesn't participate better. I've joined in a lot of and it's just kind of unlike me. Okay, I wrote a whole Instagram post earlier this week. It was actually today. But if you're listening to this was earlier this week where I shared a bunch of the photos of the group costumes. I've been a part of since I've had kids and I wrote about how I'm not a joiner. Not into that kind of shit, but for my kids and for my wife, I have gotten dressed up in these group costumes where I have I've been I've been Clark Kent which is really easy. You wear a suit with you meant shirt under it. Yep and glasses. I've been Professor Snape can either wig. Can I can I just ask a quick question? Yeah, when you say you've gotten into it, is it the kind of you where your wife is like? Hey, you should get into this right now. Yeah and do it. Well, luckily it is yours. Ape now no well sort of like this. It's been like this. It's been decided what the group is going to be like what the theme is going to be and then I'll be like sort of I'll be like I'm not doing that and then one year I was like, I definitely don't want to be Fred from Scooby-Doo. And that your I was Fred from Scooby-Doo Where I wore a yellow wig. I was kind of curious to see what I would look like with a yellow wig. Newsflash. Not good. I was also really fat you're like to hurt. I'm tired of being Harlequin every single. Yeah, Matt. What's your name? Sexy Harlow know? What are you Robbie? Yeah, what's her name? Harlequin? No, that's not a Harley Quinn. Is that Harley Quinn? Okay, that's the word her name is Harley Quinn. God damn it. You know Harley Quinn was a character that was made up in for the cartoon. No. Yeah, what yeah, it started two days of our lives and believe this in a bikini. No is the Batman cartoon the person who acted in Days of Our Lives with the same voice actor who's talking sure Sandy Dennis who also was Peter Pan on Broadway and then in The Valleys family. I made a lot of that you can fuse the whole bunch of people. Don't want this you confuse conflated things. Anyway, non Prima. Janitor. Yeah Prettyman on janitor Neo. Fuck me. Oh, that's right. Yeah, shut up modern. Anyway, whoever my gonna advise on the first ask if so, I was Fred from Scooby-Doo. I was fucking good. I was Elliot from ET last year where I like Pi where the hoodie and my bait my toddler was ET and I had like a crate like I was riding a bike and he was sitting in the crate my wife made some fucking thing where the crate was connected. The handlebars and then when you just see me standing up in it people think I look like dick in a box like Justin Timberlake because there's a crate attached to my crotch. Which guess what it works both ways don't want very convincing Dick in a Box. Yeah, don't you love saying don't worry about the sirens people know it's not for us. Are you sure anyway, look, I'm a good I'm a good dad. I get involved and I do stuff even though I don't like to do it because it makes my kids happy you on the other hand also refused to participate is this not correct if we your yes, it is your all right now. Yeah, exactly. Is it true that you refuse to participate in Halloween? Yeah, I do. I don't like I do I don't I do not like Halloween Sam. I Am your honor God damn you you don't like it at all. Are you don't like dressing? I don't like can we kiss you don't like Joy but you don't you walk around with him. Why do I so they're in costume and you walk around them not dressed up. Yeah be whatever you want to be a that's great. Why do I have to put a Fucking box on my head and draw don't have to do any. Yeah, I fucking did do you want your kids to smile and to have a good time sighs society makes you they put you in a box is the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. All right, sir. I have a mortgage and I have got again of this shit. We know you own a house my problem. I have a lot of shit going we all do here's the problem if you make a half shitty costume, that's worse. Maybe put in a little more effort. I don't know. So lose the fucking time to do it. I'll fucking get a sewing machine. How about we put your back into it Martha get a fucking easier life guy by ditching it out and making your kids cry inside because their dad doesn't participate. Okay. Can I just say I did your parents dress up? No, you know what they did we talked about. We talked about previous generations and why we're better than yours. You stupid man. You nailed it. You're just a grown baby. So you don't like to dress up. Up. I don't like to dress up guess who dresses up where you were cartoon t-shirts all the time superhero to name three Aquaman one. First of all, you have to numeric inflation of cartoon and superhero. It is part of the problem. Guess. What is the fucking biggest money-making entity in the world? Okay, great. Congratulations Marvel. I mean Disney on your corporate goals for 2019 and twenty. What is your point? Why do I have to dress up as a guide we have to No one's forcing you to do what you are you're telling me you are everybody is ever yours killed goddamn scene is that's not a war your kids would enjoy it. If you fucking loosened up a little bit I of course, I'm quoting Latin around the house too late this feudal systems not going to operate itself. Goddamn it that hey isn't gonna pile itself is no. Hay in your apartment in Brooklyn a little bit. So look, this is my main issue, which is I have dressed up. I dress up all all the time name three costumes Aquaman knows it. I was a bodyguard last year for my daughter who was a famous person. I don't know. Who was she she was just she just went as you know, what famous person up from work yet a fake earphone. I got an earpiece. Yeah, that's pretty good. Don't worry about it. See you even enjoy talking about it the point he thinks you don't protest too much. The point is is I happen to be able to pull that one off because I'm extremely good when I put my mind to it, but I don't want to put my goddamn mind. To it. I want these kids to go whatever they want to do is they should do and I'm going to be there in full support. I'm just not going to get into a costume but that's not full support you're walking around and you're like me apple picking or your grumped out and you fucking stop being a dick in the background eight minutes and apple picking and you're like, okay. Yeah, I got yeah, we're done. I got I know so the three all these P about me an Apple. Okay, great and we can pick them got it. This is what allowed us you've ever been on the pocket filled my bag with apples. Ok, cool. Now how many times do I have to do this for more? We're gonna do a whole apple picking sucks shit Todd Castle maybe next week because it's garbage the point being it's the same as apple picking I show up at my kids are into I'm not going to tell them it's not like I'm like going around me like, hey, don't dress up. Don't go trick-or-treating. He's all I'm saying leave me I'll stand over here like in the background. I'll let you go trick-or-treating and get candy. All right. I'm just saying I'm just saying when the pictures go around of our I was with my kids childhood memories. I'm not in the background not dressed up frowning. I'm fucking front and center dressed as Fred from Scooby-Doo. My nipples are popping. I got an ascot on yes. It is a pitch out. There's a picture of me where my nipples I've made sure not to share that one of my it's okay. So let's get with it made me uncomfortable. You put eight Nate it would make you even more. I look good in that blonde wig though. I do not do not have this way. Your parents did not dress up it you feel like less. Yes. I I do you feel lesser you you just wanted my feel like my parents didn't love me. Yeah. Well that was for my parents both told me we don't love you, but I just also because they distress up and to be on Halloween every year. So look ABC mommy who is our one of our patrons. Yes, one of our patrons. She is Sarah my new dad tear quite a contributor unbelievable. She says she hates Halloween just like you every year my kids insist on making their own costumes because My ex started this trend for years ago, but making them elaborate robot costumes out of boxes now every year it takes weeks and a shit ton of hunting for supplies, which I never have time to do and it's always a stress of getting them done in time. I end up spending hundreds of dollars when it's all said and done and I'm so over it what happened to costumes and bags. Why is everything so Pinterest about fucking Halloween ain't nobody got time for that? Well just sums up the whole parenting industrial complex and what's happened to it. It's all competition. It was very elaborate and when it kind of Went in circles. There's like a lot of different ways. First of all the fact that you can get a costume in a bag is very it's like a new phenomenon not entirely even get my guys shitty mask and now last 10 years. Oh my God, there's like you get things in the mail. Now, it's just like pick your costume, but you could go to a costume store and get a fucking bag that has some knock off the fact that there's a costume store isn't this costume Source didn't exist in the night pop up costume stores in pop up like an abandoned warehouse. She comes the fuck. Trick or treat store for a month. That was a meth that you're talking about the mess. No, no, look. That's why your name. I'm not this happened great story from the seasonal store. All of a sudden becomes a Costume Warehouse for two months. I've never the suburbs Hardy said again all of these and then party city is if they're all relatively so you're saying they didn't sell costumes before 10 to 15 years ago. No, of course, they did not the whole fucking you talking about culture is Tively net is false. It's absolutely not. No, it's more elaborate now, but it's not new one in costume. Don't know the fucking 80s the 80s I ought to arrest you could go buy costumes when you were a kid, whatever we're getting way off track because he does another bizarre fucking hole Theory. Hello second. Have you ever seen someone from the 80s in a costume that they bought know? Did you see the movie Point Break everywhere? There are wearing dead ex-presidents masks. That's okay. That's what do you think? Those were was wrong man? They were they were fucking Halloween masks, you know the fight or you know in the movie Halloween with Michael Myers. They were specifically with Michael Myers is wearing a William Shatner fucking masks because they existed because people wore they dressed up as characters from fucking Star Trek to be in the 70s and no no thank rhymes. Yeah, you're right you grew up in in the you don't fucking know what you're talking about you goddamn Lobster back. You don't know what you're talking about making of England little charmer 80 says in England. She lives in England. Unlike you poser Halloween only recently became a bigger deal done that point Nate fucking crushed your whole point. What are you even talking about as a kid? No, one trick or treater did decoration. She she says I live in a rural area and we had a Jack-o-Lantern card from a turnip. That doesn't sound like English. It sounds sad does something up that's exactly what you're gonna was 80s no more no more like just another brick in the wall. Anyway, look that's Pink Floyd. Yeah, but that if we didn't know listeners, that's what it was like in Another Brick in the Wall has a very depressing. Yeah. Okay. So we got a lot of people I ask people what they were dressing as and if there were doing group family costumes. Probably one of my favorite comments was from Thoroughly Modern who said Halloween is my favorite holiday and my I fucking toddler is scared of costumes. You know, why cause kudlit toddlers are assholes but why are you so that's interesting? Why would they be scared of costumes? I don't know. There's what kind of costumes it because everybody loves like a big dragon liked it. Everybody loves a big dragon. I bet you a toddler wouldn't you put a toddler in a drink? They don't know whether it's no I don't think it's this. Well, I guess they don't they don't fit either be scared of getting in a costume or she's scared of seeing costume. The question is what kind of fucking costume you trying to put up Chucky. Yeah, probably what the fuck context. She have for Chucky. She's a toddler. She doesn't know that Chuck is evil scary or he's been possessed by the soul of Brad Dourif you seen Chucky costumes. No, I've seen Jon Gruden. I love that's a child and I fell football. Fun fact. I really we my family and I we were all going to the movies when you're in the 80s and I really wanted to go see child like yeah. I really wanted to go see Child's Play and I was probably too young. I was probably 10 at the time 86 87 Child's Play. My parents wouldn't let us so Instead we all went to see the film Working Girl starring Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford, which was way too old for a child. Okay PostScript that fun fact, I fucking love working girl. I watched it a couple of the hell. It's really one of my favorites. All right. I really it's very enjoyable movie Mike Nichols. You know, what Mike another anyway, I did eventually see Child's Play. It is highlarious. There's a part where like the mom who ended up starting on that WB show 7th Heaven where the husband on the show and Being a pedophile in real life. Like right what? Yeah. She's the mom, right? So she's the mom and Child's Play and she doesn't believe her son. She says the dolls real she does he grabs the doll and as she picks it up she realizes the doll is moving around and doing stuff and she looks and realizes the doll has no batteries in the doll's head turns out it costs you fucking bitch. I'm gonna be really it's one of the funniest moments in the history of Cinema. It's great. You should I would recommend it to everybody. Anyway, I don't know how we got there, but that was fun. So I asked people what they were wearing and is a hole that so let's get into it. Gorilla Rose who is really becoming a prolific commenter We Appreciate You gorilla Rose we see I'm sorry. I did not let you join our live earlier it screws up the transmission. Okay. She says that her kids are being an inflatable Pikachu cats and witches. So this inflatable stuff. There you go. We're like the kid gets in like a big elaborate those things when somebody's like a dinosaur. Those are pretty funny. They're very annoying and I must be annoying to be in it because you need to like to like move around you're coming into shit gives a shit. Those dinosaurs are great. Okay the best Thing that's ever happened. Katie twink. Mm says kids are being Bingo and Rowley from puppy dog Pals. And this is a win for her because they were the same thing last year and the costume still fits shouldn't have to buy a new one. You know, what drink to that because that's a that is a win congratulations being able to I didn't know those characters had names. I mean, it makes sense that they have names but I've never paid attention to the show enough my kid does like it Lynn's Lindsay de Vie says my three-year-old is going as Batman. I'm Robin and my husband is Joker pretty good, which is Joker though Jack, you know what this is too much already. I'm so do you mean you're so out because much well, is he being Joaquin Phoenix's Joker? The husband has to be Joker. Yeah exactly. I'm you gonna do green hair. Like what the fuck weld, I haven't seen the Joker film the new one yet. I haven't seen you. I hope he's not being Jared Leto's Joker, which is objectively the worst one by far to is everywhere. Yeah. He's like an emo Joker got it makes me sick. Yeah damage. He's like post Malone Joker. Oh my God. He's so that's like a hottest Joker. I think Sarah underscore j2me. He's a good-looking guy 281 says I wish my family would agree to a group costume. But instead she gets a soldier and Spider-Man. So I feel like the the generic costumes like somebody being a soldier or more rare these days. Everybody's a character, right? You're not yours. Your daughter was a famous person, which I think is funny. I know tattoo been modeled after somebody they'll like the bag or did she make it herself like she had a suppose you could go to a store and like buy a bag that's clearly supposed to be Rittany Spears, but it can't say that so it will say like pop singer right Brittany Greer's or yeah, right. No, she had a like a sparkly dress it was it from a bag. I'm pretty sure and I sack I call them sex. You know what it came in a big sack the burlap one is from a really high-class place. No, but it she had a shawl like a you know, like a fur shawl. Uh-huh because this is what meat is murder. No like please it was just me is pure mean like Lady Gaga them exactly. It out and I cracked the code. There you go DaVinci Code, but and then I was her I would I would go around her and I was like this with sunglasses on and I'd like to move people away, but you were literally actually doing it. That's great. Cause you pushing because of the way you can get away with it. I mean Carol, yeah, exactly and people knocking kiss to the ground absolute. Did you have shades on? Yeah, of course. Thank you Casey her L says Thanos Captain Marvel Iron Man Captain America. No switching. Once they bought the costumes they're good for her because the switching is one of the big problems with kids because I'll have My son the day after Halloween, he'll announce who he wants to be and I'll be like all right, slow your roll. I'll turn to my wife and I'll be like let's just wait this one out when I buy and shit. I mean the day after oh no, he'll have you the day after day like this Halloween the next day. He'll be like I'm going to be whatever you like. You're not having to be in to whatever that fucking show is in a year. I mean, I'm surprised you're even this is even registering like as a something to think about. I don't know. It's just just to be like literally shut. You know, I just not ignore it. Actually I do with everything else then and then when it's like Earth 28th, you're like hey, what do you want to be wrong? Well not no, you don't understand in my family. It's a much bigger deal, especially if we're all getting in stuff. Like right now, my wife is agonizing over how we're going to because he wants to do a family thing, but there's not a great fit for me. Yeah and for her and how we're going to do it so we might actually break off and I think that makes her uncomfortable but we might need it's The Croods is that not enough. It's The Croods is I'll bet you $1,000 like animated animated cavemen. Yeah. I haven't seen it, but it's the crude. God damn it. It's The Croods. Anyway, Becky 4005 says her family costume is Toy Story 4 and she even convinced her teen who's too cool to dress up as Sid for the photo who is a psycho neighbor. So I haven't seen Toy Story 4 yet citizen it a no citizen or a citizen I won from to know so yeah came out last year. No citizenship was the Kid Next Door in the first one in the third one. He's like driving a garbage truck cause he's like, it's like 10 years older and he's like driving a garbage truck. I haven't seen The fourth one yet to hear. It's very good. It is out for rent. And I will see it to know report back making a lot of money. Mama. Llama says she's doing the same Toy Story theme maybe not the same one. But a Toy Story theme I love this one. So a lot of Pixar shit, right? TDOT w38 says his four-year-old son is going as Sully and the 11th month old is going as Mike from Monsters Inc. I love fucking Monsters Inc. I think it's really clever. I think it's fun. I don't even like Billy Crystal. I really like that movie Boo the little girl very cute. One of the animators are Actors kids they actually you there was actually her kid the little song book the thing back where it came from or so help me bum bum bum just staring at me, you know the film he improvises any such thing in the song and in the end, they actually put the song on it's a very fun. I think we should probably just end this now and their relationship. I just it's fun. I really like monster thing. Anyway, Mike Mike EC underscore in underscore NYC in third is he's telling us about his third. Ask him he says he dressed as an evil Proctologist to which I say, is there another kind get it? So this is there another kind of Proctologist are they all equally evil or a little twisted at the very least. This is dressed up. He wore a rubber glove with brown paint on it. It's his fault for missing. You can't do this kind of shit. He did it in his school. Mighty can't do that anymore. You need to think you come up with a really topical that's topical like apology is topical was it in the news when my kids see was in the third grade? Someone gets it it's Way better than when you're like, oh you're Captain so they saw this guy walking around with brown paint on his passing and they said oh you're an evil Proctologist. No. No, they said you're a proctologist and he was a third grader. There's no fucking chance and a third grader knew he was a proctologist. The point is is everybody now thinks a proctologist or evil. Yeah, obviously when you get older, you know for a fact they are exactly nobody who's not evil like to do that shit. Literally Daniel and Potter says his eight-year-old will be a he's a guy like you he says his will is it Be a unicorn ten-year-old the which you know, when I was a I was in first grade, I dressed as a witch. I don't see gender. I was fucking way Progressive even back then this is like 1983 we're talking about I fucking crushed it. No, I was a width The Witcher. That's the Noose TV show. It's coming out. You know, it's interesting that are two Game of Thrones with the dude from Henry Cavill. You still don't see that gender, which is amazing. So Daniel, then he tells what his kids are going to be and then he asks himself a rhetorical question. Well, I dress up he'll know Halloween is the worst. He says this is what you think who thinks Halloween is the worst why me and Daniel and Pato who thinks Halloween is the worst fucking psychopath who think like Harry Potter is worshiping the devil. I don't think that why would I think that I don't know why you would think that because your dummy your address dumbbell. Why do I have to dress up? All right, all my kids to dress up. I why do I have it? This is why you should dress up Katie girl named Katie girls to get excuse me and drive Katie girl 25 is trying to have a comment read she Her husband made a stormtrooper costume and it took him 20 minutes to figure out how to get fucking that the kind of costume. I want to see getting in the car. I have things to do. You know what I mean? Like after you shut up to judge. Everyone has things to do your kids aren't a priority for you. I'm here to get the joy of childhood is not a priority. You don't want to instill that in your children like you're like almost in competition with your kids. That's what so I know I'm not a competition. I'm so much better at home than I look. So good in my fucking every we just pass it on my nipples popping a case closed your on you have a question. Well, no, you're talking about Katie girl is they were going to Trunk-or-Treat? Yeah, you drive you're one of those people you don't like your own neighborhood. There's not enough good candy as you drive somewhere else. It's awesome because they really there's like four or five streets that they really go all out. So inside Brooklyn talk know there's some in our neighborhood. We did we walk there you Because we live in the city and it's walkable. One of the reasons. We actually live in a city. Otherwise, we live in the fucking summer 40 minutes away. So fucking Anna Liam Martin is going Lo-Fi. She says she's wearing some form of animal ears hashtag mom life and the 918 goodness how much a lot says the same thing cat ears and a faux fur coat. Thank you. That looks slow meat is murder. There you go. All the point is is the moms have it easy. They just put the whiskers maybe a couple of moves. Oh my God, the moms have it easy the mom. They're the ones who are probably buying the costumes figure out where the cops are going to be doing the makeup making the costumes. You said yourself. You're too busy to do any of this shit. Does your wife have it easy? Does your wife have it easy? Wow, you're gonna get some hate mail. I know I'm pretty sure to go moms. Have it easy. We're gonna we're gonna bust that out. Somebody's going to get somebody's gonna chop that out and we're going our podcast is gonna get trashed and chop moms have it. He's no one what a load of shit here. Oh snap. Look the costume comes in the bag. You put the ears. Like my wife does every year the ears go on the mascara line. She does that every year which cat how does that work? She wears a hat, which is no one cares, but I put on those glasses with sideburns and also notice company. We have you done that. Yeah, that's for like five years in a row, but because I know when you're being The Bodyguard though, that was the one year that I didn't when you're doing bodyguard. You should have shaved your head and just like Kevin Costner and bodyguard. No, I was I just can't put your back into it. Our pants it's fine. What does that have to do with a his bodyguard sometimes don't wear pants. Those are like bodyguards. It sound like bodybuilders. I didn't have a punch line. I guess I'll take that way. Hey Walker 90 says my son is going as blippi. Okay? All right. Shut it down shut it down. I know I've talked about blippi and the kids TV show episode shut that she said lots of people from your TV episode hated no be but I don't I actually don't mind him and hey Mike. Kid is obsessed and then she goes on to talk about what the real challenge is. My five-year-old daughter changes her mind every day. That's the challenge when your kid says he wants to be something in your by the costume then it changes and then you I said your kid. Oh a nice. What'd I say? He I don't see gender. So they and they by the end they wear the costume and then they change their mind that is very annoying. So we bought our son an elaborate and expensive Spider-Man costume for his birthday party, which was Avengers themed birthday party where people could come in costume and we convinced him to use that for Halloween to he was actually wearing it when I left tonight. Yep, because he just fucking is he really good costume? It's like legit form-fitting. I tried putting it on was not flattering. It was almost as not flattering as the women's gym clothes. I was wearing right but if he had like changed his mind from that it'd be like dude. We're out like 50 bucks like that's bullshit. Yeah and You just really lay into me. I have a me my have a me Matt. I wrote years ago where I wrote it like right after Halloween where I said, my son already knows what he wants to be for Halloween next year and I'm not even sure I want kids got it. Yeah, good job. You don't means don't translate. You know what? I'm fucking verified bitch. Yeah, Sweet Melissa, seven eight seven seven who comments out the ass. She's really challenging little charmer 84 the For the comment belt says we don't do family costumes. It's too much work. That's what Pete says. I bought costumes for my son when he was three and four and he refused to wear them so we didn't go trick-or-treating and then she said her son this year doesn't want to wear his costume the little jerky 7 now, you don't go tree. Oh because you couldn't wear a costume. I don't know. I don't really understand like well, maybe it was punishment for or maybe he just didn't want to go trick-or-treating like he doesn't understand I think Sweet Melissa is not really you have to Be like you're not getting candy. If you don't put on your costume, right? That's the fellow leverage. This is yeah well leverage, but I said to my son tonight, you're not getting dessert. If you don't eat your dinner, that's just how it fucking works the carrot and the stick exactly mrs. Farrow-smith. There is no carrot make their exactly make Pharaoh says, my boys will be Peter Parker and Miles Morales. Well, she's MJ. That's that's cool. MJ happen to me my initials that our view has no no, no one doesn't stand for Mary Jane though, but I do think that the two kids Being two different versions of Spider-Man is cool, you know Pete your big fan of into the spider-verse. I am a big is great movie that could be the only like the sweatpants in the spider shirt, maybe like the the dad bod. Spider-Man actually could be really it's good idea. I should tell my wife that wait. Why is what I should let you do that. Yeah the fat Spider-Man. What do you so what? Alright will you tell you were about to say what you were going? Well, I don't want to I don't know if I want to spoil it. Oh you got you coming later. Yeah. I mean you're doing this later you can tell us I don't know if I'm allowed but my kids being Spider-Man we're trying to do. Something around the fact that he's being Spider-Man. So you were trying to figure out who we would all be in the Marvel Universe you spoiling it for the podcast or for the from no second line. I have a lot of followers who want to know who we're gonna be. I don't want to send my wife is secretive. I don't understand the rules of marriage or life. Braz. One one one seven says one kid is being Pennywise one is being Spider-Man. Another is being Woody and she's being fat obnoxious and Pregnant and probably exhausted because she simply just thinking of Halloween Tired that's what I wanted to be. I keep telling my kids atoms oxygen pregnant. I said literally said I'm going to be grumpy grumpy dad and they're like, that's the worst costume like I'm the worst. So that is true. You are the worst. I love this. So be back she commented on the library or she said this year, her kids are being Maverick and Goose. Whoa, but see that see this is the thing that I find. I love it when parents make their kids be pop culture if they are not aware of what's going on. I wrote a whole Marty McFly plus about that one. Last year like Marty McFly and my kids my kids dressed as Martin for like a 80s throwback costume party. My kids were Marty McFly and Doc Brown. Yeah, but they had seen the movie right but when you don't know what you're dressing up as yeah, we're you like put your kid into costume as like Hugh Hefner and he doesn't really know who you have nervous, right? But whatever, you know, that's true. But part of the reason you have kids is to use them as props in your own life rights, one of the pervs out your own fantasies. I'm not trying to permit I like I really like the idea of the Maverick and Goose thing as I said last year, her son was Happy Gilmore, which I think is just he wore she sent me photos. I think he just wore Bruins Jersey probably sweat war and yelled at people every once in a while broken Mallet says my daughter wanted to be something creepy or scary then we got to the store and she decides to be a fucking cat. Brogan is not happy about this. How lame $40 cat costume try to talk her out of it Lego 1311. Our son wanted to be Spider-Man last since last year and then last week he decided he wanted to be With Vader. Goodbye 80 bucks. This is this is what would happen to my kid if he switched if he changed his mind. This is it this is the new culture of buying a costume every five minutes. It's fucking 15 years old. I don't care Paul falkowski world's biggest CFL fan says my kid is torn between Spider-Man and Darth Vader. Either way, there will be a melt. I know swimming Paul's talking about himself. The weren't a lot of Star Wars comments here, right? Let's go see what it has been a few years since the last are well the new one comes out this winter this December rise of the rise of Kerr okay. That is Star Wars guy. It's no I am I like it. But the last few have been oh, you're one of those guys who didn't like Ryan John. I'm just waiting for Avatar to come out one throw. Thank you Me 2 through 9 use 2 through 9. I want to in 2072 when the last Avatar. Yeah out on your deathbed you're watching that's going to be the finally I can get I can rest in peace. I've seen them a regular end of the fucking quadrilogy or whatever it is. That would be only for money. So Sarge chimed in and he said that we're talking about activities and what people do on Halloween. He said last year we found a street that was very popular for kids. All the houses participated had yeah candy decorations. So now they go to that street every year for maximum success, which is what you do. This is a key. So we talked about trunk and or treat Trunk-or-Treat we talked about so where we are there are houses, but you never know there's house but there's houses they have apartments in them, you know, and you don't really know and sometimes you ring the bell and some people in them. It's kind of like Actually pretty shitty. The other thing we don't have which a lot of people do in New York and Manhattan and other parts when you live in a big mess apartment complex you go from apartment to apply for the floor and you kind of just clean up which happens a lot. So, you know, we're in the middle. We don't really have we don't want an apartment building but it's not really that big and there's not a lot of kids in so no one's trick-or-treating. So what we got to do and we like going on the street dude if he's been on the street. It's boring so we gonna have to go I have to go to where the people who have to go were fine when I understand that so Sergeant talking about he's strategizing trying to find the ones that make sense. Yeah sure and then it's a lot of people do that. It's where like all of a sudden you'll feel like bunch of cars coming to your neighborhood because they know it's the rich neighborhood or you know, what the ones that try the most they give like real full-size candy bars a few years ago. We went trick-or-treating when we lived in Raleigh, and we went to a house I was with my kitty was to at the time and he could have gotten a full-sized candy Barney took a lollipop. Ted we went around the corner of his fucking being said, I just beat the shit out of a mug. What the fuck you doing missing him since Juanita Franco on Halloween says that her son's going to be asleep. He doesn't know what Halloween yet is yet, and she's loving it. I go I Nee heinie, no offense if that's actually not how you pronounce it three four seven for says in Minnesota at the age of 12. We had a lizard how a blizzard Halloween night and got 14 inches. Sometimes you do get the inclement weather. That's true. You know what I went. I actually went in when I lived in Boston. I went to a Halloween in Salem, Massachusetts and it snowed while we were outside in line of the bar. I was wearing site in the line in the bar. I fuck you going to a bar for a costume party. I was dressed in a suit. That sounds exactly like rest and embrace super hot. You have to wait in line to get it was in Salem, which is north of Boston. I know I spray painted my hair grey. My wife was dressed as Julia Roberts in her hooker outfit from the beginning of pretty woman and I was supposed to be Richard Gere but I was really fat and my hair was spray. A pretty gray so I just looked like Bill Clinton. We won like third place and they were like, do you play golf and I said, yes, even though I didn't and they gave me a bunch of golf balls that I never used. If I had said no, it haunts me if I had said no, I don't play golf with they have given me something better. So yeah, that was the other option you one for being fat Bill Clinton know I won for being being Richard Gere like we were a tandem costume, you know, I don't need to be fat shamed. I've been going to the gym goddamn it so Rocky Road. 87 says they went to a Halloween party recently and hers four-year-old got a basketball to the face. So she was dressed as super girl and she was covered in blood from a bloody nose. Whoo, which is really just really not how the character works. She wouldn't be bleeding. So she probably should have taken the costume off just for verisimilitude is her face red. No, yeah. Yeah super girls face is red. Like yeah, we thought Yeah, yeah have from Mad Max with whatever her name is. So sweet Melissa. 788 78-77 says she loved when she was younger in school and they dressed up and had a parade with candy. We don't do that around here anymore. Right so good. So we have character day. We're at our school next Monday. They get to go in school his character dressed as somebody like they're her favorite character from a book. No, this is the Halloween parade really they don't have a parade. You can dress kind of as a Halloween costume on Thursday, but there's nothing like there's not an event. You can't wear masks. Yeah, but I think they have character day which is like a real because they try to be all inclusive this it's in Brooklyn goddamn. They try to be all inclusive without excluding anybody or offending anybody who is offended by Pagan rituals or whatever we use are they do character named see where characters are what a few dresses. Monday is character day. Just from what book from the book of more Babbitt his heart ologist. I don't remember. A book of Science Book of Mormon. Is there a proctology one of the gospels? Anyway? Yes, it's complicated. Yeah, that's weird and lame and so you can you be a Spider-Man you can't wear a mask. Can you be Peter Parker then without the mask? I think my son is gonna wear a Spider-Man suit without a mask. You simply can't wear masks. What a fuck that well, they don't want you to wear masks for safety reason to be able to identify everybody. I don't know man. I'm not a superintendent Mike. My my kids have Halloween Day parade and they all dress. They don't have that check your kids at the door. Check out his Instagram account says we go with a bunch of friends and basically tailgate the whole time. He's talking about trick or treating they have a wagon full of beer kids get the candy and he gets the beer I bring a flask usually so in Park Slope they have a so we trick-or-treat Neighborhood and its really early start to like for for you trick or treat in our neighborhood and then we go over to Park Slope which is like a subway stop away and they have a parade down the street once it gets dark and there's some elaborate costumes all that shit and that can be fun and a lot of times after that we go to a bar or like a friend's house and the kids hang out and we have some drinks and this is It's on Thursday night this year. Yeah, so we'll see if that happens. You know, it's I haven't done that because it's just a little too they don't shut that down the street so there are cars and people I don't streets. No, they don't shut down the streets. And so there are people on the streets people on the streets and it just it's hard to drink. It can't I haven't you can't walk around the street drinking. Here's what you go to a well you drive to your place over. Obviously, you're not drinking. It's the opposite of living in a city. So kkkw 27 who was had a great comment on our vaccine podcast last week says she loves how excited her son gets about Halloween Pete hates how excited his kids get and he's like, fuck you. I'm not participating because I hate you and your lives KK says I hate how it always rains snows or is ask punching cold on Halloween. That's true because I know regardless I'm going to have to take him begging house to house. I believe she lives in Upstate New York, and she was talking about Trunk or Treats but also, you know the other guys suck when it's cold the other thing. Yeah, and and it's warm this week. I don't know. I haven't looked at the temperature of it's going to really drop it's been kind of a warmish supposed to hit. TS this weekend, so who knows where it'll be next week. But but I definitely remember everyone dresses my two girls with always dress up like as like a fairy or something that has a bit of code. And then there you go. Obviously a huge winter coat with a hat and it's like who what are you it's like don't worry about it. Yeah. It's giving us the worried about you. Give me them big and my fucking sack a treat to my jack-o'-lantern which holds nothing you come on you get a big those plastic Jacqueline and I know but some kids have those Jacqueline's I was making fun of him. It's a fucking loser. Like fun of them because they can't carry him mean to make fun of you making fun of me. All you do is make fun of me and I'm sick of it sick of it. So gorilla Rose says the same thing as me. I wish schools in our state allowed kids to dress up for Halloween or do a party. What wait there's a lot of crackdowns. I don't know what to say. I don't know what she said our state. She was like having solidarity with us or she was just saying our state meeting her and her family. Well, she obviously didn't hear that comment that you just made because this was written prior to that. Yeah. Well and obviously kind Peace, how could she have sent a comment and she had heard the podcast? You know what maybe she's behind you know, but I think that's crazy that you're I just that's weird that people are like don't have Halloween parades. No, people are nervous. They don't want to offend it's political correctness, but it's also yeah, I think it's also partially that kids in masks fake weapons. It gets confusing whatever he society sucks. You know, the 2019 is a goddamn night. It is a nightmare little charmer 80 says she's taking her kids trick-or-treating for the first time this year in the past. Been all excited to give out candy her kid has been but when people show up she shit herself with fear over their costumes lots of crying and running away and she thinks it's going to happen with her two-year-old again this year. She scared of costumes to it does it will descend into tears tantrums and ultimately rage. Let me ask you this real quick you do you hand out candy at all. No, because we have in the city we don't do we do a little bit right? Because our neighborhood we live in a little bit more neighborhood be place and for a few minutes like will sit out front and give I don't like it. It makes me nervous. I don't just I don't want to be sitting there giving people shit. I want to interact with anybody. I don't have to say hey cute costume kid get in my trunk. We're going to trunk or treating. I don't like a little cute in that cost. I mean, you're cute known what can I say your mom your dad. Everyone's care. Everybody looks cute as fuck. God everyone get in my trunk. Just get in my trunk. So here's another person who has the right idea a pot of in says one of my kids friends had a trick-or-treating tailgate party last year, they set up tables and they had booze and people brought food and as people trick-or-treated around the They like bounced in and out of the tailgate of their little party in grab beer the strings. That sounds way to go sadly they moved away. So well, that's the scariest part of Halloween for these people. Once you do it yourself a pot of in set it up. Come on sounds like you live somewhere with driveways and garages just do it. Come on. My part of we don't have that stuff. We don't have driveways and garages Nothing Live. We've nothing we have like Underpants and broken glass and over. I don't even wear Underpants. So I don't even have that underpins in the Alleyways. That's basically the my Underpants and Alleyways. What is Underpants? Has to do with anything underneath the BQE. There's a lot of Underpants like discarded Underpants in the settings. It's not a good life. It's the only life we know that it is. All right. So now we're going to get it as a lot of the the stuff people do now we're going to get into candy. All right? Okay, what are people's favorite candies? What are they don't 10 candy made in Bedlam who is actually Julie McCarthy one of our patrons. My old friend says she will provide a costume and makeup help for kids in exchange for all the payday bars. The only person on Earth Looks payday Mars. What are those? Those are just the nuts? Yeah, like nuts fuse together. Can I really say have the this is really where English candy shines British candy should say nothing that's gonna be but like Lion bars if you had a lion bar, I think so. Yeah, you're fucking know it won't. Yeah. Well, you'll all of a sudden become a better person human being it's impossible. I've met a maxed out. I've hit my ceiling. Sorry guys as good as it gets the knob goes up to 3 li Woodruff says cow tail. Is this a southern thing gross name? Good candy, never heard of it. Never heard any cow tail. I don't like what needs doing with his hands to pantomime would have calculated. It sounds like caramel Slim. Jim will find out. Why would you have let us know Casey her L says I'm in the minority but anything but peanut butter cups. Yep, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups were big they on this list a bunch of times. She doesn't like first of all she likes anything. But okay no Buttercup. No problem Casey Hornell. Your name is going on a list and it's going to be distributed Nationwide and to other As well Sarah underscore J. 281 says Snickers and shit makes her secretly happy about her kids peanut allergy because she gets the Snickers because the kid can have them we have a handful of those things with my kid where he can he can have peanuts because they're a legume. And he's allergic to tree nuts and peanuts are not a nut because there are legume but there are some nut base things like Almond Joys. He can't have guess what? I'll for from these weight Almond Joys. You're celebrating Almond Joys here. I like chocolate coconut that I like talking about the garbage or trash. Those are garbage Mounds are better because Mounds are dark chocolate and coconut and if you prefer milk chocolate or dark chocolate turn off the podcast and run into traffic because milk chocolate is fucking It it's garbage. It's not even chocolate. It's Becky 4005. Look at this. She says I love dark chocolate anything with peanut butter. My husband and the kids like sticky fruity. Junk them rot your teeth. I can't I'm not a big sweet. I'm not a big candy guy either our friend Tim loves candy. I love chocolate up the ass. You can shove it up. My dark chocolate dark chocolate me in the fucking Oblivion right? Have you handy stuff now? Have you ever had a dark? Chocolate Milky Way? Yeah my Milky Way Midnight so good. I don't even like other milky Way's but I like Milky Way Midnight, you know what they should make a cereal out of that where you just put just put a bunch of candy bars in a bars and then you put milk in it and then you just like going across the milk and eat the candy go into a closet and she says Becky 4005 also says by the way, yellow Skittle smell like Lysol. Fun fact Skittles are fucking garbage second. Fun fact, all Skittle flavors are the same all the different colored ones. They're the same flavor. They don't taste different. They're just colored differently. I do taste it. No. Yeah, they tell Dad. Damn it, you know we're going to factor this one. Okay, Katie girl says she likes Almond Joy. So you insulted her and then you apologize Kit Kats, which are good and she likes candy corn. Okay candy corn is divisive as fuck corn is I don't hate it. I don't like it, but I don't hate it. It's just kind of there. It's like those wax lips. What the fuck is the point? There's no but candy corn when you eat three candy corn. You really fucking shit when you You have candy corn it really is you've reached the bottom you're at the bottom. So cash corn is in my house as we speak. The Candy Corn is everywhere in my house my kids love it. They love the pumpkins. All right, they love the pumpkin candy corns. Yeah, and I just think it's pointless. It's just like chewy glob. So I don't know what pain pumpkin candy is candy corn shaped like pumping is and all it is is just candy Prince Turin. Yeah, it's just like actually it's fucking junk to grow. I don't even hate it. I just don't get it. I just think it's stupid. The feel like thick, you know what you know what it's like it's like peeps. I put candy corn and sugary like eating I don't like eating stale fiberglass with sugar. What painted sugar how far have we fallen? So Barb dots the Graham says, I'm weird. I love Sweet Tarts and anything sour so we use Sweet Tarts to reward my kid for going potty. So the may stop you from liking them so much that they have this Association, but my older kid loves or eating sour he loves sour gummies. He like sour skittles. He likes our They have sour Starburst. He loves all that sour shit. Anna Liam Anna Liam. Martin says Reese's what else is there Moog 32 Reese's cups are the real MVP TDW 38 Reese peanut butter cups all day all night. I love them. You get the Little Foot like the tinfoil ones small ones the little small ones. It's a great. Yeah. I really do enjoy the Trader Joe's has these ones that are they should be illegal they're in there. So amazing if you had Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered espresso beans. Anything that anything that comes from Trader Joe's it's dark chocolate covered. I'm also representing. So there's someone I follow on Instagram and can't remember who somebody constantly talking with him because she calls him sex in her mouth because they she thinks they're so good that well that sounds camera who that was. You know what it just sounds right, but I do I love caffeine and dark chocolate again. I'll eat that much heat that all fucking day. My what I do like is that we then have Dessert for like four months. Yeah. No. Yeah your friend well from like the bag of yeah and like every less you have a dog my dog used to find the candy. I used to have candy weight from cha Halloween until Easter. I used to fucking just ration it out and like I would save it and he's like save it to a fault we do this with Girl Scout cookies too because you like not gonna have this for a long time and then like next February comes around. You still have that fucking Thin Mints because you're so nervous about running out and you don't eat them enough because also to Mentor gross no, some hours are where it's at Sweet Melissa. 78-77 Twix and Almond Joy. I like Twix but you know, if you scrape off the chocolate and the caramel the little biscuits kind of like a dog treat now these to do that as a kid her kids like peppermint patties and plain M&M's Peppermint Patties like York Peppermint Patties there. Okay, you know what, you've raised your kids wrong if they like playing M&Ms and you I don't like plain M&M's. Oh my God. Those are so boring and basic you need that piece basic. You need peanut M&Ms or nothing he made her name is get stuck in my wisdom teeth because I I have my wisdom teeth fun fact, but they're definitely better than regular definitely a dichotomy there with through wisdom teeth and getting to know if that's called. It's an ironic. So can I say M&M's are bullshit and Reese's Pieces shit all over him. Reese's Pieces are so much better. They're not there are a few chocolate and peanut butter. What are they fake? The chocolate peanut butter versus just fucking candy shell in milk chocolate. It's fucking junk. What's the better than that is a Mmm, peanut M&Ms are better than real. We're not talking about that. I said we're talking about plain fucking M&M's versus Reese's Pieces of the same shape slightly different flavors Reese's Pieces shit all over M&M's. No one knows what that means. It means it is this figure it out. They can figure it out Reese's Pieces are better than M&Ms. That's the fucking analogy. Great Nate agrees with me. Shut up, Nate Sweet Melissa. 78-77 goes on to say that her neighbors give out Chinese candy, which is fun because they have no idea what it is or what the flavor is. Hey your kids guess it's like those Harry Potter like it's jelly beans. Have you ever done that? Those fucking Harry Potter jelly beans no fucking like torture one of them. They take ear wax or vomit vomit one is actually shit. If you if I eat a vomit one, I will throw up like it's got real acid. Yes, what the fuck is wrong with these people but come on you're saying the Chinese candy is is gross. He's vomiting. No, it's not. No, it's not this girl, you know, you know, it's not that it's gross. It's that you just don't know what you're getting. So it's like a crash that your back pedal which is the same thing with the you know, what all you see is race Jenna Jenna phatak own likes Mounds because she knows what she's talking about Mount guys Mount your fucking delicious chocolate and coconut. It's so doesn't like chocolate. It's one of the best combinations on Earth. If you had coconut everyone shampoo or coconut conditioner in front of me right now, I would drink God if I got a just smelling it you just turns me on it's not even about the flavor. That's so good smell of coconut. I need to go my God. It's incredible. Oh my God. Can we end this thing? I gotta go. I gotta take a shower. So mavi 9 underscore 8 says she loves the annual mom packs. She gets to loot their candy as needed because she's their mom and she's been wiping their asses all you gonna be. I think we all can appreciate that. So I'm excited. Ready to see what my kids bring home and then to just tell my nine-year-old loud. These have nuts in them. You can't have these even though I'll be lying but Dad. I don't know if Kit Kats a tree nuts and they they fucking do you better believe me? I know what Father Knows Best C Everett Koop. I ran into him we talked about last week, but thankfully my son likes the sweets the candy more than the chocolate boiled. So kkkw 27 who is becoming quite the prolific Comet or which we appreciate even though her husband is the person who called me. Out on the live earlier tonight and said that because I record those podcast or the live during Monday Night Football on catering to Mom's which you know, what I'm a progressive guy. I know a lot of women who like football just as much as I do maybe maybe even more right and I know a lot of guys who like parenting podcast, I don't know a single one actually actually am cedeño and a couple other guys on here. They've all pocket pocket palapala ski Sarge he doesn't watch Monday Night Football because he's watching Canadian. It's on Thursday. I don't cater to anybody. Believe me. Why do you think Have we already have any listeners? We need more ratings. So she says she refused to buy any Halloween candy. So when they went trick-or-treating she told her son to grab the Reese's and Kit Kats. I assume because she didn't have any at home and she wanted him. That's so good. But her kid kept grabbing. This is what she says the shit asked Kitty mix items like lollipops. I call them lollipops because most fucking grown adults do and not suckers. It says yes and double bubble bullshit. Double bubble is the worst gum. It's almost as bad as bazooka. It takes like those four. A shoes and then you're on right? Yes. So she says I thought maybe my kid didn't know what I was talking about. So told him to grab the orange and red wrapped chocolate bars still didn't work. So to Black's later. She said she said I might have had to threaten him if he didn't start yet fucking chocolate. Yeah. What is this bullshit? You're putting your bag kid get the real deal. I think we can all agree rhesus is probably loose gel my favorite candy, and I've talked about is the take five my favorite candy bar, which is it's made by rhesus now. I thought I don't know if they bought it because I don't think it used to be But I don't know it's called Reese's Take 5 and it's it's peanut butter and chocolate and some nuts and pretzel and the pretzel is the secret ingredient makes all the difference. It's fucking just a delicious. It's delay. I don't know if I would call it sex in my mouth. But you know what shits all over that line. It's Ash. It's also a little Tremor and he was talking about the Cadbury bar. So every time somebody like at work goes and visiting when they're London they bring back like the fruit and nuts and all that shit. Those are Double deckers, but if there's too much fucking milk chocolate in it you can you can you know, you can shove it turnover friend Caboose. You're gonna shove it up your cup roof. Well Mike I yet again and we we could have talked right but I think it's a Peabody we won the Peabody Award a Peabody Peabody minutes Peabody, Massachusetts, but it's the Peabody Award the Peabody Museum in New Haven, Connecticut where I grew up going to look at the dinosaur fossils, right? Well, If that we're on we got it all so we're going to lean we nailed week. I mean look, this is really nothing more to say about Halloween except we didn't get into how people sometimes put glass and needles and stuff in the candy. Yeah because it's an urban legend a myth that I've done I've done it but I like nobody ever wrote about it wasn't Halloween. All right. So let's get into our last section. It's the commenter section on our last episode dude our last several episodes episodes a few. Of them because we have a couple people like Dana bows day and Melissa Lombardi who are going back and deserve their binging their benching. How is this what you do in 2019. You've been watch by the way, I like watching and listening and binging at the same time. That's kind of what I like to do. You making me uncomfortable. Yeah. It might none of that. Yeah Prima nocta kind of shit. It's called Prema janitor neo-primitive neo-primitive better take the fucking blue pill. All right, so and he backs. That was our last episode Auntie back. So listen to that if you haven't yes, it's Really? It is fucking incendiary cover almost nothing. Very controversial. It's not a fact it a little bit of research for it. Don't fucking scoff. I did none. So gorilla Rose who is actually gorilla underscore our o2e says this question doesn't fall anywhere, but I'm going to ask anyway, do you guys believe we landed on the moon? So I think we so we talked a little bit about how if you don't believe in yes, if you don't believe in vaccinations, then you might not believe in you you did you dummy episode. Frank Ocean is your whole fucking trend of dumbass Latin shit. You don't believe in you don't think the Earth is round. You think it's flat. That's correct. And then you were saying that you 100% don't think jet fuel melts steel because you're a one of your 9/11 truther. I'm a 9 right? You don't think Elvis is dead. I he's obviously still alive you definitely don't think Tupac is dead. Come on Hammond biggie. They needed a big he's dead. Nobody's ever said that big. He's not dead. Everybody knows to Buck still alive. What's Every conspiracy is it that we didn't land on the moon maybe gerrymandering that's a real conspiracy or lobbyists. I don't know pick one of the ones that are actually saying. Yes, I know but do you believe we land on the Moon? Was it a Sound Stage? It was a 100% a soundstage on the moon. Now, we totally wheel and prove it. How about that prove it? No, but so gorilla Rose is making a very good point which is but I also my question to her was are you directing that at us? Us because I feel like that I think she's that I can't tell I think the very fact that you're asking that question. Yeah thinks she is implying that we don't believe right and you know, what gorilla Rose fuck you. How about that? You know, what we're equal opportunity offender is here and where do you stand on the JFK assassination? Actually no joke. I fully believe that it was just Lee Harvey Oswald Nate, you know one of the the under the radar theories, is that one of the sea. Service, man, when he heard the first shot panic and accidentally discharged his weapon and that's the Magic Bullet was actually they covered up the fact that one of the Secret Service Men actually shot like from behind so it's all fucking covered up Nate. It's called The Conspiracy. So I heard you know, when I was in high school, there's on for some reason there was a guy who's doing a book tour gave a speech at our high school and walked through the way he did it was so awesome. He basically took everything Oliver Stone know he basically was like well, of course Course, he was shot from over here right back and to the left. Well the exactly back into left and he's like, of course, that's true. Correct. And everyone's like yeah, of course he got shot and then he basically broke down. Yeah. He just totally dozen Elementary School known it was a high school that be stupid right before our anyway, don't break the film. JFK is very interesting. So Dana bows day. Oh did I say thank you Pete vaccines are no vaccines does not equate with kids being sick with colds or not not related. Did you say something about that? You have no idea also get the flu shot. It drives me nuts. The people say I got the flu shot and I got the flu because she's like really did you go to the doctor and get diagnosed with influenza. So she's saying that what people think of as the cold and as the actual flu or two different things, but also one of the big problems is people assume that the shot gave them the flu when in reality they may have had the flu for a couple of days and had got it yet like the symptoms actually show up a little bit later. So basically she's saying fuck you people who don't get vaccines and don't get the Blues. Shot I think I agree with everything here is the thank you Pete. You're probably right. Yeah, so it's one of the rare times. I actually I don't think I've read the comment. I just you're such a narcissist so back before that. We did our scheduling episode and how much of a pain in the ass having kids makes the logistics of your life. Yeah, Dana Bose day. Once again said Pete for the win, although when I say FTW come I say fuck the world. Yeah. Is this your Alias? She says I am a health care worker. I'm a physical therapist and Hospital working from home is not a thing, but I can make my schedule month to month because we talked about that. Yeah, for example, my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, but my teacher husband is only off Thursday Friday, so I have to take the whole week off. No Pay Teachers aren't allowed to take personal days off around school holidays. So being married to a teacher has some perks and some drawbacks when it comes to scheduling. It. Sounds like more drawbacks. I'm just going to put that up there and park know maybe re-evaluate your marriage. Just do a little thinking just maybe he's just sort of maybe he shouldn't Move on columns pros and cons and just see where you need out but I we respect teachers not so much physical therapist but teachers 100% they do a lot for us Melissa. Lombardi says the the lice spray we talked about so is called fairytale Rosemary's repel. So this is important. Yeah, so we were talking about scheduling we talked about it up talking about lice and this is real. This is a real thing everyone needs to get fairy tales Rosemary, but that's what we have to spray like every day. I don't know. Just be proactive. No, I think it's really a good hack. You just don't have to do with it's not a hat. It's not really have to deal with more. I need a hack for the hack if I have to do that every fucking day and they don't even have lice not a big deal. I need a hacker to hack. This is what's the shortcut you spray and just make sure you if you have long hair you got to spray under the base in there. No, you don't have to worry about that. I know no I don't you don't have long hair. No, not my wife. Not up here. My wife clipped the Hammers mullet though. He hasn't gotten a real haircut. He's got long hair. It's like wispy. But like Curly and she clicked his his clipped his he's my little little and his finish front and he looked like then combed it and it looks like a totally different person. It looks like he's going to the fucking prom. It's hot. He was pretty high and then the listening party with that. She said well who I'm finally up to date on your amazing podcast, so Melissa, Lombardi is an absolute common to know what she she might as well be Vince Lombardi to mute the best there ever. Was it common? Fuck you Bill Belichick on YouTube. Thank you. You too. Can comment on you to get it? I flipped it. You really shit all over that. You should all over that. That's my favorite comment like phrases and shits all over. Yeah, you know, I'll tell you what out of the out of the to co-host we have I shit all over you and I'm not just talking literally that's like really the probably the lamest thing you could have. No then the lamest thing I could come up with was Neo Primo genitor. Is it? Yeah the judge let us know give us radio. You're asking me. Because Nate was definitely on my side. I know when I tell you that much now go give us ratings comment on individual episodes on YouTube join us on join us on patreon if you like the fan but really when we hit 200 ratings, I think we're going to do a full-on diagnosis. We're going to get into the JFK assassination. Yeah seen by seeing the disease of the Zapruder film shot by shot and you're going to be Jean Valjean from java John. I'm gonna do line by line Right One Day More another day another dollar. Destiny oh goody basket never-ending rotovac could Calvary these men who seem to know my Grandma Shirley come a second time will one day be everybody before today.
As an adult, what's not to like about Halloween? All you have to do is simply click any buy your kid a costume in a bag. Easy. Oh wait, you mean the night before they don't want to be an Avenger  anymore they want to be a ghost. Just a regular ghost. No problem, you didn't need that $80 you spent on the costume anyway. Oh but, the ghost costume you now had to take a day off of work to make isn't the "right kind of ghost" and now they are in a full meltdown while your other kid(s) and wife/hub are yeling at you because you don't have a costume that goes with the theme - YES WHY WON'T YOU THINK OF THE FAMILY THEME!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!! *Ahem* I'm ok. Mike and Pete do what they do worst; talk about it. 