Hi everyone, and welcome to episode number five of curiously enough today. We have a special guest someone that's a good friend of mine. So I'm very excited for you to hear our conversation. Fun fact, we recorded this before I named the podcast and came out with the name of the book to which of the same curiously enough. So keep that in mind as you listen, it's a really fascinating when we get to talk about the importance and the magic of curiosity. Don't forget to share and subscribe yourIt means so much to us. So does your feedback so continue to give it helps us know what this podcast needs to grow into. Thanks again for being here and enjoy this week's episode of curiously enough today. It is my pleasure to introduce a good friend of mine Megan more. Our Megan is a licensed professional counselor speaker and coach in the greater Nashville area Megan works with her clients to delve into the details of their stories and uncover and gain healing from the obstacles that may be inhibiting them from experiencing life fully Megan's Focus comes from a wellness perspective as she desires to promote physical mental emotional social and spiritual well-being growing up Megan was never entirely sure where she belonged she began to convince herself that performance would bring her. Love and belonging that she desired. She worked hard to excel academically, athletically socially and in her career Megan explains her story as if it was climbing a ladder that kept growing the more she achieved the higher she needed to climb Megan began to become haunted by the enough's regardless of what she accomplished never felt good enough than enough smart enough talented enough through Megan's commitment and dedication of working on herself. She began to experience freedom and wholeness Megan's hope for our clients is for them to learn to be themselves. Free from judgment and relationships work and life Megan has a Bachelor's of accounting and marketing from University of Kentucky. And she also has a master's in kinesiology and health. Most recently Megan received her Masters in clinical and mental health counseling from Tribeca University in Nashville, Tennessee. If you would like to know more about Megan and the work, she's doing make sure to check out her website Megan - more.com or follow her on Instagram at Megan Moyer. Welcome Megan. Hey Grayson, so great time on your show. Thanks for having me. Of course. Thanks for being here. I'm very excited. The one thing I know about your story and you can expand on this because it's yours not mine. That is the experience with performance and Perfection and you've described it as becoming more whole and having more presents. Can you touch on that a little bit? Yeah, so I grew up in a really sport heavy family. That was really what we did. And and you know, honestly, I'm grateful for that experience and grateful that I was exposed to that. So I grew up just with this competitive nature and even you know growing up just was in really competitive schools in terms of academically and athletically and those kind of things so really just Try to excel it, whatever I was doing and you know, it wasn't I think I always had this faint knowledge or kind of this this inner voice. That was really really quite like I haven't quite learned how to listen to it yet, but wondered what I actually like to do I knew that I didn't necessarily like the things that I was doing or if I did like them. I didn't like the pressure that I put on myself to always have to be the best. I really didn't honestly know how to be how to have fun. And I had a lot of fun doing things or what seemed like fun, but it really like I used to tell people especially when it's in college. I was like, yeah, I wake up its 6:00 a.m. To you know, 5 p.m. I do my day job which included, you know, putting on this mask and being whoever I thought everybody wanted me to be. So in college that was you know, again at the top of my class and the top, you know golfer on my team and I was the team captain and I was president of all the clubs and I was just doing I mean burning the Every end and then, you know when the day when I was done performing for the day and done achieving then I would you know go out and use substances or use some other addictive behaviors to really like decompress and that's what I tell people now. I'm like well, yeah when you're performing all the time if you really do need several years and so I look at my story and it's like spent so much time trying to be whomever. I thought everybody else wanted me to be and really what that's about. About is me not feeling okay with who I am. Like it really doesn't have anything to do with anybody else necessarily because I do know that people love me whether I knew it at the time and would have been okay had I stopped doing all these performing things, but it was something within me that couldn't stop and so, you know living life like that and being Just terrified honestly to fail or for people to see any parts of my Humanity like anything that made me human. I tried to cover up and and some of the things I genuinely liked doing. It wasn't necessarily like I was constantly doing things I didn't like to do but at the same time I did have an awareness that man like there's got to be something more to life. Like I constantly felt like an imposter, you know, like the chameleon just I'll just change my Colors, wherever I needed to go to be whoever I needed to be and you know, I have this this really I guess marking moment in my life when I was in Arizona at at treatment getting some treatment for some trauma and substance use what I was dealing with the therapist at the time asked me to make a collage and she told me, you know, put the things draw two circles and on the inner circle. I want you to put things that are true about who you are on the inside and on the Outer Circle. I want you to put So true about what the world sees and I really I mean it sounds dramatic, but I really have this identity crisis. Oh my gosh, like what's true? I don't know that much about which to about me on the inside and you know, here's all these things that the outside sees but I actually don't know how much of those are true for me either and I actually ended up having to admit to myself into some other people like I don't even know that I really like sport or I don't even know, you know some things that I've been doing my whole life really admitting like I don't Don't know if these are me or if this is just who I've become out of my performance and just even looking at the job that I take in on my decision to move overseas or some other things. Like there was some genuineness in that in some longing and desire to try to find myself but along with that was a lot of looking to things outside of me to figure out who to be because when I look inside there wasn't a whole lot there. Yeah, I gosh there was so much in that the one thing that stuck out. and that has become clear to me in recent times is the difference between an accomplishment and a transformation and I used to you know, we just talked and you were saying achievements and you know achievements or accomplishments for me are external and Transformations are internal and I think I was getting them kind of mixed up and I think many of us do our were more concerned with the external which is exactly kind of what you just said and just understanding the difference and what they do what need do they fill? How do they make you or me feel I think is kind of part of your story as far as getting Clarity on why do I want that external achievement? What does it mean as an internal transformation? Like what is the difference differentiating which is exactly what you said even with the breaking the beliefs about yourself, which I think is predominantly A lot of us are going through now specifically I would say in the younger 2030s age but it doesn't discriminate shame doesn't discriminate but as far as the world's beliefs about us and how many of our beliefs about us are the world and how many are our own and I think you're someone that I know is able to distinguish and differentiate those two as well. And so it's neat to hear. Are you highlight those and it's just important to talk about I think even from my experience and there's another thing that you've talked about with me and I know you shared with your platform this Paradox of healing which I kind of heard it a little bit in that and I would love to hear you talk about more as as far as like the either or mindset or so you talk about surrender. And taking responsibility not having to be like all in for one part of healing. Yeah, I think oh first of all, I love what you were saying in terms of accomplishments accomplishments versus Transformations because I think sometimes we can be transformed through our accomplishments but oftentimes, it's really not not about that when I think about the most transformative things that have happened in my life. It's actually been the little things are what I would call the The little things you know, I can think of one Boss week. Like I try to do something every quarter so part of that collage that I made and part of the crisis I had with I don't really know what's on the inside while I kind of swim around in my own self-pity about that for a while eventually. I was like, okay. What can I actually do about this? If I don't know who I am then what can I do? And so I kind of you know, every quarter every couple of months. I tried something new to decide if I like it or not. So, you know, I think about transformative experiences and how much transformation will come through that simple practice, whether it's makeup process or Pottery or improv or CrossFit or writing program, like trying all these different things and even just last week. I what I'm doing for this kind of season of life. I'm taking a 10-week water painting class and I walked in and last week and I show up there and everybody was just I thought it was a beginner's class and everybody was just way more. Dance to me and I immediately was just like Frozen in my own shame and kind of having this messages is like see you shouldn't have done this or you know, why do you show up here now? It's uncomfortable all this stuff and my body wanted to run and the other part of me was saying, you know, just stay like hey we can do this. The goal is just show up here. Try something new see what you can learn from this and so you don't end up staying in the class and you know, it was just Delighted in by people and the teacher was so helpful. And so kind and I was really honest about like I've no experience here. Like I'm just here to try something new and grow from it. So I don't know just thinking about those moments and how transformational those have been versus you know, what might be on my resume of you know, I graduated top 10 in my class in my accounting class or I want this fancy award in Slough, you know to speak in front of all these SEC athletic Or I work at this Fortune 500 companies like those are not necessarily the things that I talked about. It's these little moments where I chose to say. Yes to something that just scared the crap out of me. So I'm really glad you bring that up. Yeah. No, I'm glad too that you reaffirmed what I didn't say, but I think you knew what I was saying that accomplishing is okay. It's just when we count on it to make us feel good about ourselves and I think too. To something that you were just saying was like with your your quarterly Adventures you need a name for it, by the way because I tell people that yeah, like Megan's monthly thing that she does. I don't know what to call it, but it's so yeah, you're trying new things. You're learning more about yourself and You're Having the courage to be like, I don't know how to do this, but I'm super pumped to be here. And I really I love that you do that and but doing those things you're accomplishing by not being a pro. Or the master being the best at it but being accountable to yourself and following through with that intention of I'm going to try something and I believe in myself and I'm going to have fun because I'm allowed to do that today. You know, does that make sense? Right? Yeah, and I mean that goes right into your question about healing because you know, I think a lot of times we have this misconception in our culture that if we're going to be courageous or if we're going to be brave, but that doesn't mean that there's like their house but being courageous or being brave is the absence of fear. Here and I would say quite the opposite. I mean everything that I've done that I feel like has been crazy as has had so much fear in it, whether that's getting on a plane and flying across the world to a country that I've never been to by myself and getting off the plane and being like, you know, I showed up in Uganda and was like, I hope somebody's here to pick me up at the airport, you know, and if they're not I mean, I guess I'll figure it out or look at that was I mean when I went skydiving there was it's Brave and courageous about of a claim but I You know, I thought I was going to have a panic attack on the way up. And so I think a lot of times what I see with my clients or people that I work with and myself is waiting for this timing where I don't feel fear to step into something that I want and I just have not found that to be true because I think ultimately anything we want requires a greater like requires a great amount of risk and I would say the same is true with whether it's not healing or some of the people I work with very healing, you know, I tell people when they come into my office Office I'm like you are like thank you for being brave enough to come here because the reality is it's so many people in the world are suffering a need help and you're willing to do something different about it. And that's Brave, you know, because the first thing people normally say is like, yeah, I never thought I'd end up here, you know, whether that's in my therapy office or with some professional athletes. I work with nobody there still is the shame around picking out your own healing, which is just baffling to me and so sad but also I experienced it on my own and there's someone who sought help and continues to seek my own health this shame of like I can't believe I need help and nowadays this immense gratitude for and I'm so grateful that I'm willing to step into my fear and ask for help, you know, so I look at what you're even saying I come back to that a lot of healing really is this process that's right there and taking responsibility and I see that with people that I work with and I've also seen that in my own Journey, you know, there's been so many times that I really stepped on our with of like gosh. I hope this works out I need help. So I think that's a surrender part, you know, essentially I had had some behaviors that just kept happening kept happening kept happening in my life and I would go to go to therapy and I'd say, you know, I can't believe I did this and one time I actually said it again. Yeah, I was there again and said I see this happen and I can't believe I did this and I don't know what to But I wasn't really expecting somebody to give me an answer, you know, it's a lot easier to stay in our victim mindset and our helplessness helplessness about it, and the ferret has ever actually looked at me and said, you know, you've got problems with alcoholic you actually you need to go to treatment you need more help and I at the time, you know had some Choice words for him and basically told him that you know shut up and don't talk to me anymore. But what do you did was invite me into a solution? Lucien for my problem and I didn't really want a solution I think deep down inside of me. I wanted some help I wanted a solution but I didn't I also didn't because I like to some degree being miserable which I think if any of us are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that to some degree. We like the invisible. Otherwise, we would change certain behaviors. And so I said that I wasn't, you know, I told this person I'm not going with treatment and I don't care you say, do you know who I am. Have you seen my resume? Look how successful I am, you know. people like me don't go to treatment essentially is what I thought which is just so much ego but really you've been behind that was just so much fear about what would people say, what would this mean for me is how is this going to look and what this person finds out or what if that person finds out which again is that achievement and that performance and kind of wearing a mask and trying to make things look good on the outside, you know, like I was very crafty about hiding a lot of the things I was doing you know it to the point where Where we go out to dinner with my friends and we'd all say good night. Goodbye and go back to our separate houses. And then I'd go out with a different group of friends and make sure none of it ended up online and you know, so just really all this image management. But anyway back to the healing, you know, really what ultimately happened it wasn't another bad night out or that is it, you know, it was this person invited me and do something different and me saying no, but then him having a boundary of like, you know certain things. And I remember walking into this hotel room. I was on a golf trip and I walked to his hotel room and I was in my own room and it was the first time I'd really truly been alone in a while and I just felt this sound indigenous and I thought to myself like, you know, why if you don't do something different right now in 5 years 10 years 20 years if you're still alive, it's going to be the exact same or it's going to be worse. You know, the only thing that's going to be different about that is you might have a husband or you might have kids that are also now in this mess. And it was really that moment that I was like, I don't want that like I don't know if there's any hope for me. I don't know if there's any hope for my situation, but I know that if I don't do anything different than it's been is really going to only continue to get worse. And so that's what I what I mean in that process of surrender of like this isn't working and I don't think I can fix it. I need more help. I need something. You know, I don't the same way of thinking that got me to where I was was not going to help you get out of it. And so this R2 for me God I was like God help me but I think we always a lot of us use that prayers sake help me but then the help was right there, you know, the person told me to go to treatment and sometimes we'll say help me but they're not take the help that's right in front of us. And so for me, it was a surrender of like I need something this isn't working and I'm desperate and God you got to do something. And then for the taking responsibility part, it was me. I became willing to do whatever it took even though there was a lot lot of reluctance and I don't know if I would was the most Pleasant client or the most pleasant person to be around the time, but I was willing to take the action and then listen to what people told me to do along the way and do what they say and Trust in something bigger than me, which is God. Yeah. There's there's something about when what you first mentioned was seeking out healing and how that is kind of this. Like we talked about in recovery how the phone is heavy and like we're supposed to you know call people in recovery, but the phone is so heavy and that's like I don't know the analogy for seeking out healing but there's something about it that it just feels really hard to do especially in the beginning like that. First step of like I'm like something is not right with how I'm living and so I think it is the more we talk about it. The more people are willing to offer their Worry, there's vulnerability becomes easier when we're not the first one that's doing it in a sense. I know you for this but to hear on here you talked about this just in general but the to hear it hear you saying it so often I love it do something different and I know that's like your staple and it's so cool to hear it intertwined now with your story and just your experience, but it's so true and sometimes it's really that simple of like If it's not working, then there's a reason and why not change it like you said it I can't fix this problem with the mind that created it kind of deal. So I love that and as far as the surrender and responsibility, I think they do they work in Tandem and obviously your story shines a light on that. There's there's a acceptance when we surrender that it's not going to be easy, but we're willing to go through it and we're willing to ask for help and then the responsibility is It's mine first before it's anybody else's kind of deal. But I'm yeah, yes with the like that either or mindset. How does that show up? Because you have some really neat examples of this. How does this show up in your day-to-day life as far as like spirituality or in the therapy healing world or even with like the should mindset? I think we go back to the either or instead of both and we'll be right back after this quick announcement. aunt Hey guys. Have you ever thought about starting your own podcast when I was trying to get this podcast off the ground? I had a lot of questions. How do I record an episode? How do I get my show on Apple podcasts Spotify and all the other places people like to listen and how do I make money from my podcast the answers to every one of these questions is really simple. Anchor anchor is a One-Stop shop for recording hosting and distributing your podcast. Best of all, it's a hundred percent free and Do callously easy to use and now anchor can match you with great sponsors to so you can get paid to podcast. I don't use any other program. It's simple it's easy. It's manageable. I'm really grateful for anchor. So if you've always wanted to start a podcast make money doing it go to Anchor dot f m / start to join me and the diverse community of podcasters already using anchor that's anchored on FM / start. I can't wait to hear your podcast. Yeah, I think it's so easy to forget that we have options and I think that's really what that either or mindset is really all about. It's like either I go to the gym for the full hour or I don't go at all right and it's like well, I think there's probably more options in that like, how about and this is a real practical example for me to take even this morning? I had some stuff I needed to do and so it was really like do I want to go, you know move my body or do I die and then I even have the self It's like about like do you go I don't go at all. But what about going 15 minutes late to this class? It's still getting them the rest of the 45 minutes out of it. And then I still showing up doing something I want to do and you know staying true to what I need in my values are also working it into a way that works for me. And I think that's really what it's about. You know, like whether I tell people all the time like stop shitting all over yourself. It should is it sustaining word? It's just a Implies that we should have been better. We sort of done this or we should have done that like and it's really just by changing that language changing that word from should to could like. Oh I could have eaten a little healthier today or I could have made this Choice versus like I should have done this. I should have done that. I mean, I always encourage people to just change that that simple word there see how much their life changes because the reality is that what we say to ourselves matters. And so even being cognizant of that and you know, I'm asked because there's there's constantly have this mindset of self-improvement for myself within officer with clients to it's like, you know, either I was an activist in my office. Sometimes it's either I'd come to therapy once a week which shout-out is probably best for healing or I don't do it at all. It's like okay wonder what if there's some medium in there or even Going back to the surrender taking responsibility is something I'm constantly working on in my life is slowing down and going slower and I had a friend I was telling her I was like, I'm you know, I'm praying about going slower. I'm talking to my own therapy about going slow doing this and that and she said to me she's like Megan to go slow to be so you actually have to make decisions to go slow and that was this revolutionary to And I think that really shows other by either or thinking because it's like I think like either I'll take the whole day and rest or I won't rest at all or either. I'll fill the whole day up with all the stuff that I have going on or you know, I won't do it on. So I was laughing. I just got back from a vacation and you know, this inner part of me was upset because I'm like doing I'm already tired against it's like Well, yeah, if you can't score updates from vacation like I could don't store up my son time and bring it back with me. Like here. I am in the gray skies again, but I think I have to battle my own inner wiry to really practice this moderation, but I think moderations goes hand-in-hand with this either or like and so seeing how that shows up in my own life in my life. Eating healthy sometimes and maybe you also engage with some unhealthy eating or whatever. That looks like. Yeah. No, I love how you phrase that and it makes me think about a lot of things one that that either or mindset and just how it has the ability to kind of take over all areas and I used to struggle with this a lot. I remember recently finding a journal entry actually. That was like, who are you you smoke cigarettes and drink smoothies and it was like all of these backwards things like you go to the gym, but Angie Wendy's and it was like this true it is it is it's funny now because it's like yeah, that was that was me. That was what I was going through but this idea of perfection was obviously in there, but also they like if you're gonna drink smoothies and that means you need to be a certain type of way or if you're going to smoke a cigarette. You don't eat healthy that's backwards. It's like well, there's there's no level that I need to reach and I don't know the exact point when that started to change for me because if I wasn't going to go to the gym exactly what he said if I wasn't going to go for an hour and get cardio and lifting, you know, excetera done then I don't deserve to go like it's in really on the table for me and then it and it's like if you go then the sheds happen more and it Feels like I get tired of its the head starts spinning. It's just wild what happens when you battle with the shoulds and the shame it's exhausting. But anyway, I don't really know when the point for me when that change, but I know a moment when it did start to change, which is funny. I'm just remembering this, but I had known you and we had been friends but not super close yet and you invited people over to your home and you have Add your therapist come there to speak about feelings. Do you remember this? Hmm, and this was a huge moment for me and maybe you can share kind of your intention behind this a huge moment for me when I realized feelings aren't bad and feelings Drive beliefs and I started to cause I was that's when I was in either or mindset like big time. I was like wait, so I shouldn't meditate to get the fear away. I should just meditate to meditate like you're throwing off everything. I've learned but maybe you can touch on why you had that that night. Yeah. Yeah. I'm super passionate, you know about feelings and needs and boundaries and all things therapeutic and really the passion comes from the things that have really helped me and that seemed to help other people, you know growing up and in college and post-college. I read every book you can possibly imagine on Fearless God Golf Fearless loving Fearless academics Fearless working, you know, I just really my life was so dominated by fear. I was desperate to find something to make it go away and you know, some of us are dealing with anxiety that is you know, really big and we generally need some medication and therapy and different things around that but what I really wish I would have had at that time. It's for someone to have looked at me and said you were made to see you. Feel fear, you know, if you don't look both ways before you cross the street, you're probably going to get hit by a car. And what makes you look like both ways is your fear and really is someone that dolly that fear was okay and to almost bless the fear and to help me befriend the fear and it's funny because I work with a lot of performers and musicians athletes entrepreneurs people who are in these high-performance job. Thanks so much of the work that we do is around the Frederick's year and Sofia are just like, you know, a lot of therapeutic orientations come out of these core emotions, and some people have a subject will have 10 or 12 or whatever it is as long as it's kind of a but the thing about feelings or emotions, you know emotion is energy in motion. It's a really seeing that all these gifts have you no limitations when we don't listen to them and they have gifts when we do and so if you look at something like anger people a lot of times anger and rage confused and rage is more fear-based and wage is out of control and uncontained and can also be harmful for other people. It causes people to be afraid but we're really in our true anger my voice might sound just like it does right now when I'm when I'm feeling angry, but and your tells me that I I want something to be different. If I didn't feel anger. I wouldn't have passion. What I'd have is depression, you know, you're literally depressing your feelings. And so, you know, when I have somebody come into my office and says that they feel depressed the main work we do is around is figuring out their anger. What do you want to be different? What do you desire? What are you passionate about? Where do you want to see change? Like those are the questions that were working on and really seeking to dig down deep inside to figure out you know, or something like You no shame. There's a lot in our culture about how bad shape and I would say. Yeah toxic shame the shame that says there's something bad bad about me or something wrong with me. I agree. That's not helpful. Like ultimately I believe that there's a lot more right with us and there is wrong so that toxic sort of saying is really not helpful, but he'll be shame is great. You know, if you didn't feel some level of Shame, you wouldn't wear clothes we wouldn't shut the bathroom door. We would bourbon. Public or do other things that you know would kind of put us on the outside of our tribe or our culture and we need belonging with you today. We batter so they shaved subject that helps us accomplish that or you know guilt when we don't feel guilt then we don't know guilt tells us we've done something outside of our value system and when we feel guilt oftentimes we can go and seek forgiveness or make something right so we can seal guilt. We didn't feel shame we call these some sort of sociopaths and there's some other feelings that are grown in there, which I'd be happy to go over but you know just a little glimpse into that and a little glimpse into this my pursuit of trying to be Fearless nowadays. I really am worried about defending my fear and asking hey, I wonder what the gift is in this I wonder what my fear is telling me to do differently. Like if you're in a cage with a lion I sure as heck. Hope you feel fear because it might attack you and so what do you need to do to plan? And prepare to get out of that or what is the words of going to come from and so my hope with teaching feelings and inviting people and to learn more about their feelings is really that they were experienced freedom because I think that's ultimately the goal. Hmm. Yeah. No, thank you so much for talking about feelings. I personally love talking about them, but I learned a lot of that from you and there there is such a stigma with don't feel don't talk about feelings or that they're bad to feel. Or to even merely Express that you have a feeling and so for me learning which is what you mentioned learning that feeling something whether it's anger or shame fear or loneliness. What have you having that feeling arise tells me that I have a need Ed whether it's expressing a desire or wanting something to be different if you're angry or you know, if I'm lonely I need connection whether that's with other people or with myself for me when I started to recognize that connection it became a lot easier to sit in discomfort. I wasn't as scared of it. It was like, okay. This is a feeling that I don't personally like but I can learn to sit in it and I can learn to ask questions and that's especially with fear in my journey asking questions to it rather than running away from it or banishing it that certainly didn't do anything but Right curious about it being curious about the fear is trying to say and and ultimately with the feelings. It's the avoidance of feeling to end up causing us so much pain, there's no of if I really look at anybody I feel and as with people that I work with I see a lot of performance and performance addiction and work addiction and substance abuse addiction and that kind of thing and I don't even necessarily like to use word Addiction but more abuse and yes, sometimes that does bleed over into addiction and you know, I often tell people it's funny. I'll be speaking to you know, different grades. I was just recently at speaking to a school ID. And it's so funny when I stand up there and I'll tell him you know, I'm not here to tell anybody what to do or what not to do. But you know, if you can use cocaine and drink to excess or have you know, use food or have lots of unhealthy sexual experiences. If you can do those things and be the best version of yourself, by all means do it, you know, I hope it's doing things. That you know doing a bunch of cocaine help you be the best version of you do it. I've yet to see anybody who's had that experience that can really tell me that that's true for them. Is that shoe for you? I'm here to support you in that but what I find most often is that it's really we're doing all those things to avoid are shillings to avoid the reality that life is painful. There are painful experiences in life, and they're also can be great joy in life, but The reality is it is hard to be human. And so, you know, the denial of these feelings are trying to push them away. It's really what end up creating a lot of pain is really what ends up creating all the coping strategies. We use like alcohol drugs sex food performing working, you know avoidance, whatever it is that we pick we're really all more the same than we are different and I think that's even touching on recovery. That's one of the biggest lies that we can believe is that You know simply being abstinent from something would mean that we recovery because you know, it's just not true or you know, some of us it's so easy to look at the person next to us and say, you know, oh will you know, they had a drinking problem so they need to stop drinking but I don't fly don't need to do anything. It's like well, you probably do have something in your life. It might look like you no more being addicted in relationships or over exercising or working all the time or you know being really mean or being really nice like we all have these coping strategies and you know, really find this place of common ground and looking about you know, how am I not so different from the way that displacing used maybe alcohol and I use being Pleasant and being really nice, you know, like what do I need to do is step into my own recovery because we really we all need to step into recovery of who we were made to be because we've all learned to deny our feelings and to find and you know these ways that work in the beginning but they end up not working to really try to cope with that and to cope with the pain in the world. Yeah. No exactly. We you don't need to have the name of an addict or an alcoholic to experience discomfort and you don't need to use a substance like those major two that are most commonly talked about when we say addict, you know to qualify for someone that numbs and you did touch on something else becoming our best. Which I think is the motive for all of us which would lead to my final question for you. You know as I think of becoming our best selves for me a lot of that has come through connection. And so that's what I think the world needs more of and so I would ask you what do you think the world needs more of that's a good question. I think it's a kind of a person it comes almost a two-part answer and the first thing really was love needs more love but I think even at a higher level what we need more of his curiosity, you know, we live in a world with a political climate and you know, a social climate and all these things that really are black and white, you know this side versus that side if you know that about my store Your you know, there's a long time my life that I felt too conservative for the recovery community and too liberal for the church and I cried many tears about where I belong where I fit in and some of that was an internal experience, but some of that was an external experience of people telling me, you know, you can't think this and be a part of that where you can't you know, yeah, you're too much you're not enough here. You know me really trying to fit into these molds and what I kind of game. To realize is that it's really not black and white, like ultimately most people just want to know that they're loved they want to belong and they want to matter and the same and the same is true for me. Like when I think about what is the purpose of life ultimately it's like for me to give them receive love and I think the world that we live in is just busy and I found myself in the straps to like when I get into a lot of judgment internally or externally I almost in playful with myself and I tend to start asking myself like man. You must be really afraid right now that you know, like what are you so afraid of and really that that question with myself is a queue of hey, where can I be curious about this other person or this belief system or this organization that that really scares me? And so I think this posture I think it's the world had a posture of curiosity about people places things Institution. Ins machines mechanisms schools, you know politics whatever it is if we could be curious and really ask yourself two things is what can I learn from this other person and what do I like about what they think or what they believe and what causes me some discomfort about my current belief if we could really step into that place. I think it would ultimately lead her to lead us all to a greater place of love because there's so I'm so grateful. People in my life that is different than the are the places. I've been for the experiences that I've had that have been really outside of my comfort zones or my you know, belief systems that have really challenged me to grow and ultimately that's what needs a deeper experience of God because you know, I believe he's the creator of all things and being curious and learning more about that creation has ultimately resulted in a deeper love and so that would be my answer. Oh, I love that so much and I don't even think you know why but it's so funny the I didn't even tell you and I'm not even sure if I'm going to keep this but the podcast is called curiously enough and that's the name of the Bow-Wow and so through all of this journey and Curiosity has been the thing for me. That's led me to everything else. And so I'm so so happy that you said that because it's not just my idea. You know, I just wanted About it. I didn't invent curiosity. It just worked for me. So I love that it worked for you and the importance of it and why you value it the thing about curiosity that I love so much is that you can't you can't lose with it. It doesn't fight you. It's just an option and what you were saying this other side of curiosity, you know, I I've experienced it more from being curious about myself and then others as well, but it started with just being curious about me and asking questions. Yes, but also curiosity welcomes community and relationships and it it welcomes the idea that we could identify with someone rather than only see the differences and even going further than that Curiosity allows us to see the differences and know that like that Our intention was not to hate that we have difference of opinions. It was just to understand it though. It's kind of it. It's a really interesting state of being you I think you said Pasha. Of curiosity, it's there's a level of acceptance that comes with it. Exactly. Yeah, and you bring up a good point of saying like your curiosity really began with yourself and and I would agree with that my curiosity began myself as well to some degree. I think I've always been pretty curious. But the thing I like about, you know, you bringing that up is in any instance like we cannot give what we don't have and so if we did not have the ability to be curious about ourselves. We ultimately cannot be cured. It's about other people. It's just I've not seen a situation where someone is able to give something that they don't have which doesn't mean that we need to have like exact experiences. If somebody else in order to help them at all. But, you know, it's really hard to give feeling or allow lead someone to Healing if my first don't have healing myself or teach something about tape someone about something if I first haven't been a learner, you know, and just so I love that you're even Bang that about yourself and how your curiosity began with you because I think that's really true and wonderful. Hmm. Yeah. No, it's a it is it's a neat experience. It's it offers something different and it's it's allowed me to experience Freedom. So I'm glad that we were able to talk about that. That's really it makes my heart warm because I love that word so much and all that it does but that's a brilliant note to end on On thank you Megan for being here and being vulnerable sharing your story and digging into these topics that we don't talk about enough. I appreciate it so much. It is so fun. I've so enjoyed your friendship and just seeing where you're going with things and how you continue to lean into life and really live fully into you know who you were made to be is just so so so fun. So stay the past Grace. Thank you. Thanks Megan. Thank you again. For tuning in to this week's episode. I hope you got a lot from it. I know I definitely did. Don't forget to share and subscribe follow us on Instagram at Grace Googs and we'll see you next week.
Grateful you’re here! Episode 5 is all about the relationship we have with ourselves, the battle of perfection, the both/and mindset, and feeling your feelings. On today’s episode we’re talking to Megan Moir, a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and coach in the greater Nashville area. Megan works with her clients to delve into the details of their stories and uncover and gain healing from the obstacles that may be inhibiting them from experiencing life fully. Megan’s perspective on healing is one that is unique to her story. Her journey of understanding herself has led her to guide others to get to know their truth and understand the vulnerability and bravery in asking for help. She is a warrior and a mentor to me and many others. Megan speaks honestly and openly about being a therapist and a person in recovery from addictive behaviors and what that means to her. Listen and find out what her story could mean to YOU. If you would like to know more about Megan and the work she is doing make sure to check out her website: www.megan-moir.com or follow her on Instagram, @meganmoir. Be well! 