Welcome to My Life sitting supplied episode 261 today is was pesach sheni. So let's begin straight with something and you wanted the a machine the meaning something of this day itself pesach sheni is of course a passion ballet school in the Toyota with the Eden when they left Egypt were unable to bring the pace Paschal Lamb the pesach offering and pesach they came and complained emotional Ben Lomond Agora. Why are we left out? Why should we be less? Why should we not have that opportunity? Obviously moisture in his own mind thought, you know you miss you miss the boat you missed opportunity every gaming bottle Carboni. They passed he can bring the car. He turned down Shem and Shem said the midst of pesach sheni that if someone was tummy or with directly take on meaning somebody was impure or they were far away from the place where you have to bring the bass bass the Circle carbon Paisa they have a second chance on pesach sheni exactly a month from the first place and if lead the crab based on that we have the Vault of pesach sheni teachers on such Nostalgia for found. There's nothing that has ever lost. So though we have the lesson of chuva being able to repent and atone for past mistakes and we have many such lessons throughout the year, but patient Cheney has something particular the rep explains because this came as a request and out of this sense of inadequacy and being feeling deprived that the Jewish people had those that were in a state where they could not bring the first base and that itself invoked. It wouldn't have come so to speak on its own it evoked for Mission from God new approach that you have is stuck in fire phone with teaches us that you have to do something when you cry out and you're truly sense the lack of something you need you se llama negara, there will always be a response. There's no found. Nothing is ever lost. The lesson context of scissors applied in context in general of life is a Less because we're all going to have times where we are impure or distant spiritually physically psychologically emotionally. The question is what happens then many people despair. They get resigned they give up they say I'm not worth it. I'll never make it comes pesach sheni this day and tells us no stuck in for a file. Nothing is lost. Just remain hopeful and cry out and say why am I lacking that itself can bring something? Because you could think look if since I didn't get it was the point of complaining when I talk about complaining we're talking about feeling the hunger and The Thirst famous story that had been shot. There was a hustler came to see the number of Shaban muazzam for something and he didn't get his request. He came out crying. He needs the Rizzo that Deborah shopped all the brothers or sisters crying is why are you crying? He says I went to the rabbit. The rabbit said they did not did not bless me. Kanter has all went to his brother and said that's what it up is for at Evansville to bless not the bless that has a sense and send them back in. They said like the cousin that and he asked his request that I brush a blast. So the obvious question is why only bless him in the first place because there ever a shop so he needed to make a lie. He need to make some type of effort some initiative and the crying of feeling deprived. They didn't get a blessing that itself Alyssa depressed less. Never underestimate the power of a sincere cry. There's power of a sincere feeling of inadequacy not in low self-esteem context not to make yourself feel that you're worthless, but feeling and the contrary you worth it and you feel sad or deprived. Why didn't you get it and that evoke the place of Shannon that kind of vote for each of us a second chance. Basic but fundamentalist this week will also be locked by a member, which is Thursday not by me of course is the outside the he Lola and you can even call the simcha because the about the about be asked that it should be a day of Joy the hula of the option by Roy. Isaiah documents in the Idris Sutra which is the Parsons has seen Jose are the last day of Rosh be very moving account how he gathered students how he taught the deepest Toyota and how we reveal Secrets when he says I don't want to leave this world without revealing and being told that you didn't reveal what you had to reveal as a true that but that's what he did. Then he said but had cafeterias Katana cities make such a big fuss about it had Katina with Unbind a bond myself and he saw that his this talk to see little than that way. So this explains why of all these doctors have said dick him which students are supposed to sit Shiva and cry for why did it have to be asked it should be a simpler because being about primitive the British be with someone who taught the inner dimension of Taylor the inner dimension of Taylor sees the inner dimension of everything including a negative thing like a passing. So they're definitely how logically they had to sit Shiva but then as be also implanted that the years to come it should be a great simple. And what do we see today till this day the pilgrimages only grow in number and enjoy to me Ron when people go up to Moran which is the place the oil of the ranch be unlocked by m. That is I would go there spend sometimes three days, but definitely with go they're doing during like very much. And this became a custom throughout the generations kadai that Shimon this muscle of Bashar Assad Kafka. I'm Sherman is one you can rely on when you're in in a pressure situation and entire Street and different expressions are as be promised and assured his students and generations to come then when you'll need something when they'll be any particular need call upon me. So what is this lesson to us like by email? Bridges schisms in general the structure of existence is made up there. There's a structure and a structure includes different layers and different shrouds and different barriers. Hey, Doug, Allah. Azza, as it says when love on and and and Yakov part ways either Galas at this girl this Mount this mound will be a witness will be our boundary. And so this brings gal is the letters lag like Jamaal Ahmad first them from a boundary from abound and a boundary becomes it Bridges it because as be I'm Shimmer, you cry bridged the different worlds you bridge the world of the concealed and the world of the revealed the world of the conscious and the world of the supra-conscious the world of imminence and the world of transcendence the body and the Soul Goofer that I said the body of pteranodons be was unbelievable and great Tana one of the students of Be a Kiva and was of course the ball Premier cetera the Samosa Teresa. So usually soul and body are two different realities at least in our perspective one is revealed one is concealed one of the work with the very shabby abacha, meaning the land mammals and one is lunar Yama the fish that live in the sea very different worlds one is concealed one is revealed in theory also have the to enlarge be bridged it too. Which is why he's compared to make sure I've been with times because my sister to me not my name is Surya his name is named after the fact that I'd room out of water because he bridged the world of this Hidden Worlds of water, which is the superconscious Amadeus gasps. You didn't world with the dry land where we all dwell and we saw by Chris. I'm sorry and similarly like by it. Does that same idea which is why it's called Martin Taylor Plymouth cetera. And today we know after that is out and then the Baal Shem Tov and then there are beim Mitzvah Lagarde has a shock me that this inner wisdom which was once exclusive only for your kid has goal of individuals and learned in a very subdued manner only one person at a time in - mm. I see Marco Vela Bhai your head you don't learn a lesson and as an individual by that is all began to spread and then only grew your foot so menacing computer as Michelle told about Shem Tov and today. Hoods are generate some momentum for the two reasons. One is as a taste in a foretaste an appetizer of Michelle's times when Plymouth Arrow will be revealed and we'll have the bridge between the inner and the outer and because as we get closer and it gets darker, we need more light and its interconnected these two reasons. So like bam it teaches us that we can open up boundaries. We can open up blockages and impediments that perhaps usually are not possible to open up which It is one of the reasons that unlike Bainbridge says now Jamie, I'm the middle of the board go out into the field and it gives Broca's especially regarding children. What's the difficulty of having a child would be God forbid is due to a black passage the womb doesn't open Pika caught us. The mother says it has be was taken that Carlos. He opened up wombs of those that would seemingly were unable to have children and I caught her. Opening up a channel is exactly what like blaming is and this is also true not just in technically business biological children, but also in general opening up blacks and all kinds of impediments are things that may not allow us to really access our potential and our actual eyes are great skills and Mission in this world, so like blaming I'm just being briefed opens up so many different channels. That's why it's such a day of blessing they serve in the middle of ebb and we saw by the devotee like buy him a parade and like bam The day the symbol of the Rebel was unparalleled, especially when he was with the children. And the game is somewhat of a mystery is jumped of because what are you really doing jumped and the day of like woman's ever went to the oil but it's a day of Celebration because we're celebrating her has be a unique Tana who stood out in the fact that he was bridged in his time all the worlds and that's right create an actress a Unity that even a string of Samer the time when God forbid epidemic happened that the 24,000 students of rabi Akiva though. He learned Taught he taught them after their commercial the cloud. God will be Theta and loving your fellow is a fundamental principle of theta they were not respectful to each other. They did not lay no go covers others are causing an epidemic and as be was one of those students but he was what from the few that remained because they did show out of this and unity the remedy the antidote to divisiveness and is demonstrated in the fact that I would be just as I said connecting levels connected the inner and outer connecting Jews of all backgrounds. the ashkenazim sephardim sidon narcissism all unite in the same coverage be I mentioned once a more than once a number of times you find a similar thing with that is I'll just as an aside whose yard site is hey of the fifth of also the saddest time of the year even sadder days literally before Tisha b'av is that's his yard site. And you see again that is an antidote like Magnum to fool a marker the healing before the illness before the difficulty that the base. I mean, there's was destroyed. The temple was destroyed 9th evolved due to what baseless hatred baseless divisiveness. Comes at Lisa and correct some repairs that and just as the - be repairs the divisiveness of our time and we do so in the 49 days of counting the Omer which is also his scandalous connecting them all together Hesed gouda, but also tested stomach acid worship addressed all the way till we March toward the 50th day, which is Man Taylor finally. It's also pastors Bihar this week this year because it was a show no more barriers and leap year many of the patients are separated that I usually Other so barbecue case it comes together usually but this year comes separately. It's a beautiful city of from the lab. I'm sure I mentioned it in the past in previous years, but how tough she remembered Zion refocuses as always and the name of the chapter, even though the name is not the whole chapter but a name as the Alta rabbit says captures the essence and the theme of the chapter the how seemingly our word. I don't know where to Bihar seen. I that's what the public is talking about. It starts About Schmidt. What's meter connected to have seen as Rashi explains so behind means just the mountain because that itself teaches us a lesson. There are times we have to be like mountains and Mountain is a few elements to it. First of all, there's a certain Pride again Yankee Jewish Pride standing walking upright with the right humility, but walking upright with proud with self-confidence with courage to be able to deal with every challenge because God blessed us and sent us to this world as his messenger. Bahar also, the rebbe explains in that city is the power of growth because mountains grow he brings their from different sources that my Mountain sometimes compared sameach shabby Damon you think of mountains made out of stone stone is mineral. It doesn't move. It doesn't change amount of Samaria shabby Damon in Mineral itself. It's a growing element the river explains their how would that mean that it grows? You can look it up yourself. And usually it's a minister, but then we compared to the Coral in the sea, which is also Dame it's been real but it grows. It's a living organism and there that the mountains are also that way so bonds have personal lessons for us besides the has seen a the Mount Sinai which is what the positive versus referring to besides all the other chapters all the messages in the chapter the mere fact that we stand like a heart and this year. It stands alone the chapter The Need to Be Will to stand strong distant courageous. We just saw it. Unfortunately the tragedy in Poway which I have discussed in the previous week's few weeks two weeks ago had memorable interview the memorable interview with rubbing Goldstein stroll Goldstein. You see them working in yank of that. He picked up from the rubber from siddhis something we all need to learn because it gives you the ability to confront anything as altered. Abbas says right at the beginning of chapter 26 and Tiny the famous example of the two people wrestling if you don't have the willpower of Your demoralized even if you're stronger you lose so walking with confidence and strength and knowing we're not standing on our own strength, but on the shoulders of those before us the grades before us that gives us that Bihar attitude to be like a hard to be like a mountain that stands Above the Rest in a humble way, but yet like a mountain so gives you the fortitude and the confidence and the determination to achieve anything. You need to set your mind to achieve especially in fulfilling our purpose in this world. So there you have lessons consider Supply pesach sheni like by amen Bahar. Many more lessons and I will then refer you this is cross-referencing to other episodes where I talked about them and they include episode 17 66 and 67 116. 161. 162 211 212. Yeah, the list keeps growing but the episodes keep growing due to your great participation asking questions viewing listening sharing commenting all this has made into a very vibrant and robust. Platform for taking citizen applying guitar lives. So with that let me announce as I announced last week. We have a new set website because of the great demand and the developing programs that are coming in this brand called. My life is supplied with create a new website called citizen applied.com everything you found till now is being redirected to even if you go back to our site to meaningful live.com / my life it's redirected. But now you can go straight to the site. It's cleaner. It's more organized you. Find things the essays as well as previous archives. They're all time stamped in the YouTube desktop and laptop version as well as other resources, and of course the opportunity to ask you are Anonymous and totally confidential questions on the form their citizens applied that cam. 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Go to the first question for this week the tide the writer titled it culturally Rich culturally responsive teaching. And the question nutshell and then I'll read it in full the full question as an orthodox Jew teaching in a secular School. How do I navigate and draw the line between insisting and kindness and acceptance of all students in our classroom? And normalizing or condoning behavior. That is forbidden by Taylor. Very good question. It's a commonly asked question not only in school but in other places, but let me read it out loud, and then we'll addressed I work as a teacher and an instructional coach in a mainstream School. Our student body is composed of students of diverse races. Sexual orientations and gender identities a predominant issue in many of our classrooms is the perpetuation of Rachel of racial slurs stereotypes and bullying. I recently took an online course on the topic of culturally responsive teaching which seeks to respect and embrace the diverse cultures and identities of our students to Forester and emotionally safe and inclusive environment conducive to learning for all students. I wish Implement many of these practices in my classroom, but I'm unsure how to navigate the issues surrounding sexual orientation and gender identity within Taylor. These are morally charged issues. But this is not the prevalent attitude within secular society. The LBG, the lgbtq population is considered another marginalized minority group whom we have a moral responsibility to reset the respect and accept that being said it gets personal in our school environment when we have students being bullied. Or called names because of their sexual orientation and gender identity. I don't know where the line is drawn between insistence upon kindness and acceptance in our classroom and normalizing or condoning behavior. That is forbidden by 10. And by Tater, it would be highly conspicuous and defensive for me to facilitate conversations about culture and race without addressing the other elephant in the room the lgbtq community. I also recognize that I need to tread lightly since I'm conspicuously an orthodox, Jew and representation any insight into how to navigate the sensitive issue would be appreciated. Okay, very powerful and very challenging question. I should say And I'll try to address it to the best of my ability. I don't know if I have a direct answer to this particular question from the web or from anything directly interested is but we have guidelines that address and balancing Toyota standards and dealing with realities on the ground wherever you may be in the workplace on this case even more so more sensitively in the school. Let's make one thing clear. Did a very big distinction between a person's Behavior and the person? We don't reject people God created human beings every one of the Divine image. Everyone has their challenges. People make choices sometimes bad choices and sometimes they don't even know they're making bad choices because they're ignorant. so this isn't condoning or in any way supporting their mistake or supporting their ignorance its distinguishing between what we call you Tom okutama invalidating the sin should be erased not the Sinners so as a human being in general A leader, especially an educator in a school above all sensitivity comes first. You have students everyone is entitled to be respected and there's bullying or is slurs or insensitive Behavior. You don't just say no. We only accept we don't accept certain slurs and other slurs are acceptable slurs are not acceptable. Even if one is the community you describe it. I don't even like to use the word Community, but let's just say a person is in that area gender issues. Sexual orientation issues who says we go with slurs. That's a tater approach to insult to humiliate to demoralize that's not a Toyota approach if you want to deal with it as we dealt with privately in a way that does not hurt anybody. So the first thing is as teacher has to maintain standards. We're bits not appropriate for children to hurt each other no matter what and let's say even let's not even talk about this issue. Let's say a child for whatever reason a parent did something really criminal was arrested or the child itself did something really inappropriate and everybody knows the teachers role is not to allow bullying and ganging up on the child. So this is not only about gender or sexual orientation. It's about anything when we deal with it with something that is inappropriate. Let's say There's a way of dealing with it. Even if we all agree that this thing needs to be dealt with. Now you'll say one second if I'm going to show sensitivity and I'm not going to allow people to slur and Bully it'll come across as if I'm endorsing that person's behavior is a way to deal with that teach your class that that's a lesson to be taught. You can say, we have a class there's different students in this class different backgrounds different ways of living we are here to respect each other. We may not agree with each other's way of living we may not agree with people's behavior, but there's never a right for a Listen to hurt another person. If you indeed feel this is a lesson in life. If you indeed ever meet somebody that you've disagree adamantly with the way they're living or behaving and you feel you want to do something about it that the way is not to go humiliate them demoralize posted bully cyber bullying whatever you really want care about the person maybe find out by their lives, maybe become a friend support them. In other ways. Once this trust is gained. You may have a positive influence. Don't go like a preacher in. Here to go change people. So there's an attitude so there's very important to distinguish something can be wrong. But the question is how you deal with it. Now, we're not talking about the wrong or right we're talking about how to deal with as a teacher you are living example of how to teach sent a DP sensitive to all people. Then doesn't mean you have to address this issue. I don't know if that's the the Mandate you have in the class to talk about gender and sexual orientations and so on but to teach people to be sensitive and kind is definitely your mandate as far as the issues themselves that has to be dealt with completely as a separate issue one is not connected to the next when a Jew comes into our soul and let's say it's dressed in a way that doesn't even fit into the show so you can start laughing at him. After you throw them out Tom you coming to synagogue be respectful or realize you know what you may not know better or even if he does know. He's a Jewish synagogue. He wants to come to synagogue. You never know. Why is there be kind and be loving gain trust and then at some point your friends, you know, we come to shul try to dress up a bit but not that moment only ones. There is already a warm relationship. We don't stand by the door and say I want to know all the sins you did today and then we'll first rebuke and You and then we'll talk. We don't look at it that way. Because we start looking that way who which person is going to enter a room or school as class or a Sewell without some blemish everybody has issues. So what do you can save only going to point out those that everybody knows that people have are pronouncing have somebody's coming to your sinigang your community your school and they want to influence others and they're trying to impose their philosophy and others equally sensitive. Why are you imposing we're not imposing anything on you don't impose on others. So discrimination can go both ways and everybody has to be respectful and all efforts have to be done properly discreetly sense of the modestly and especially if your intention is to really remedy a situation it never works by rebuking a humiliating all you doing breaking someone's heart and soul and does that help even if you end up count end up intimidating them. Is that what you want intimidating someone who you want someone to really grow? So to go back to your question, it's a balance and it's very easy to demonstrate how you're not condoning or in any way endorsing. You make it very clear. We have many differences you can have differences with your own family members about matters and we still love each other and that's the key thing to remember and distinguish. Okay. next question the writer write titles it studying psychology in Orthodox setting but the detail is actually is there a healthy need for ego? Hi. I wanted to know if the rebel was against the idea of secular education till you're full of Toyota or he just didn't like the University. I'm reading that even though that's not the focus of this question. I have a dress that many times. Also wanted to know I listen to your talk about logotherapy. That's Viktor Frankl. What I didn't understand is Sigmund Freud idea something a hostage to follow. I think I once read in a book. That about the need for the eagle. Referring obviously to Freud's egoism. Thank you for your video. Cicadas. You transformed my life, and I know of many more, okay. So first of all, we're going to secular education is not the topic since we was all part of one question. I read it. I don't have the episodes here. But I've discussed it many many times very easy to find just type in secular education and you'll get the rebels approach to represent approach was more complicated than just a specific thing. Yes. There was the University environment but there was also secular education per se and worshiping it turning it into our God almost deifying it and many other details, but I'm going to address the second half of the question. Is there a healthy need for ego? So first of all what you're referring to regarding Freud and logotherapy that I discussed the rubber of all the psychologists second psychologist Viktor Frankl rep has a leaning toward. Meaning sees a positive element because his key fundamental underlying Foundation is that the driving force in a human being is the search for meaning Man's Search for meaning in Freud is the ID. It's pleasure sexual. You have an ego and the super-ego that somewhat balanced it and then there are other Adler and young and others who have each one. What is the driving force? So meaning of course is very consistent with data the search for meaning the searching for purpose the search for God's purpose in this world, and he explains how the Jews in the Holocaust even though they suffer like everyone else because they had meaning and gave them an extra energy an extra will power to be able to endure. So yes, it's very antithetical Freud's Pleasure. Principle is very antithetical to Taylor because Taylor says a person has created a Divine image. Yes. We also have uh delivered them at a menorah, but that's impossible. Yeah. We also have a second inclination of every exit a V8 Sahara, but the essence of the person is good, but you have a battle and there's a reason for this battle. So one could argue. Okay, if that's the case ego seems to be driven by the animal soul. Yet we know that even at Sadiq even a Thomas Holcomb has two halves Minish a bitch - means an eighth of an eighth. Of some sense of self and ego why because of that he becomes an escape and addresses. It means a doormat that people walk over is a very big difference between humility and low self-esteem. Low self-esteem means you think you're nothing you're worthless humility, as a mouse's was jumbled humility means, you know, your strengths you're quite aware and you know that God blessed you with them the opportunities yet. You say it's not mine. It's God gave them to if someone else was blessed with them, they may have done better than I very different one is very self-assured but it's not about me that arrogance. The other one is completely no self-assurance. So we need to have ego but with this checked and harnessed towards having a sense. I'm mentioned before Bihar to be like a mountain to stand strong to send proud to feel confident that very healthy if it spills over to arrogance, then it's not that's what we need to check if it spills over to low self-esteem meaning not only am I not Out in a good way, but I feel worthless then you can do anything you demoralized you're unable to function. It doesn't bring to anything holy or positive. So it's like two ways that you can be debilitated one is through extreme arrogance once through extreme opposite of self denigration. And both are in a wave form of arrogance if you think about it, because who gave you the right who says you have a right to be say you worthless. God created you so some people use that arrogance and say I'm greater than everybody another say I'm worse than everybody and neither of us are acceptable A know the mass amounts of it's a decanter the mathematics Mirage a person can establish that there are righteous person. They can establish their a wicked person. That's not our domain. We're not objective and it's not something we're given to determine each of This is extraordinary. We all have something unique and indispensable by because God created you in the Divine image now because you're so special. It's not the case with the ate some yard. It's not due to your effort. Your efforts should be to actualize it. So we all have that element of healthy ego if you wish you can put it that way. Okay next question. Can a sociopath? Do chuva I'm not laughing sociopath is no laughing matter neither is a psychopath but the question and was one of the questions I'm not heard before it can a sociopath do chuva. Okay, so terms are vital here. How do we Define a sociopath the conventional psychological secular determination in the manual? Is that a sociopath is someone who's a disorder who is? socially socially disconnected from others and therefore can be cruel and insensitive and lacks empathy and can lead to worse things. There's discussion is a psychopath like a sociopath and there's going to consensus is that a psychopath is a sociopath but worse. Usually can also lead to even violence and other things but basically it's someone that's lacking the connection to other natural connection people have to each other to empathy the care. You're not going to hurt someone for no reason. So of course you can start saying so what is this a this and I'm going to go through every disorder right now now why is that vital because here comes the question if any of these disorders if psychos out a psychopath or sociopath is something that's not up to your choice. Then you could say then those even have to do to prove. It's not up to him or her. But we know it's not a property baby. The Taylor says not to behave that way. So the question is how could the Tater command something that some people have no control over that's why we have to conclude that from at eight of us in this approach. There's no such thing a person who is compelled that must hurt other people that must be insensitive to other people even if there's an inclination like that. Let's even say that you can Define that there's something in the personality of the person not do to nurture not due to an acquired behavior. They picked it up from parents or others. That was behaved in the sociopathic manner. But even if you argue, it's part of a person's makeup, that doesn't mean you have to act on it. So in that sense you have control of not acting on it. Even if there's an inclination and therefore person did act on it. Yes. Absolutely. They can do chuva and repair their ways. There's a big debate amongst professionals. Can you heal? Can you remedy a sociopath and of course the size psychopath some say you can't some say you could my tag you could limit and minimize the symptoms. But not always through just cultivating the Motions but making them very self-aware for person is extremely self aware. They can see when something is rising some type of just like an angry person who's not self-aware will have outbursts Tantrums, but when you become self-aware you begin to check yourself and say, oh you're not something's happening. Let me do something about it. So from a tail Exodus approach now discussing secular approaches, even if you were to say person has an element of that. The personality you can do something about it behavioral control. And that can also lead to also deeper control. You act like you love people and you end up loving people. It's a Mitzvah after the commercial start with actions start with the area treat someone nicely and even if you don't feel it, you can end up becoming nice you say one second have a cycle sociopathic symptoms. So what so that it doesn't mean you can't behave nicely to someone doesn't say anywhere sociopath can be nice. It doesn't want to be nice extends. Its tendency is not to be nice. Let's put it that way. His nature is not but since when do we bomb by Nature? Control yourself nowhere. Does it say a sociopath or psychopath must hurt people even if you have that as I said element or disorder if you want to call it that even if that's true and that needs to be established as well. You can curb your behavior and control it. And yes, you could even be nice not only not be not nice. You could also be nice. So in that sense chuva is possible correcting repairing and we all know truth is coming to the same situation and are doing it again. But predicated is that the person is doing something about it. It's not just will tell you you know, what there's always hope for true. But what are you doing about it now. Those are you reaching out for someone for help. Are you challenging yourself? Because the end of the day with the trader considers demands of us is to challenge yourself. How do you know you have it? All right. Now we know narcissism could be such a person doesn't even think that they could ever be wrong, but I don't know if a sociopath is the same maybe it could be a sociopathic narcissist again. This is getting complicated but I will say that the first step in everything is to teach people awareness and this everybody can learn your open up our Toyota you open up a scenario open up on my mix. It has a secret and you see how kind people behaved how compassionate people trust treated each other and you say this is a lesson, too. At least start an action if that's your standard and you're fighting for it. So then you become aware have somebody point you say that, you know anything about my behavior that may be insensitive. So say yes, by the as a matter of fact, if you're responsive to that you're going on your way to the issue to solving the issues. Is it completely solved like we all have we have many inclinations that if we don't act on it, it doesn't become a monster. It doesn't mean that we never will have a temptation. But then it can go into the category. It's under control. Okay. next question sleep thus it has ever expect us to sleep less than is normally required as you see the questions continues to come in from all directions again a question that I don't recall being asked. So this is expect us to ever sleep less than is normally required. Here's the full question. I recently read a story how the previous rubber instructed Zama Misha. It's hockey. It's cocky was a famous cause of the physical element that I'm gonna shop to study to see this at midnight after he was done with his daily Affairs that ever told them that first it'll be difficult. But after a few weeks, it will get easier. I have a very hard time with this because if I get less sleep, I'm a mess. I cannot function the next day at work many days. I have to force myself to get in bed at a decent time 11:15 so I can get up and make it to minion and work. So what's your advice? Also? I struggle every year with saying the entire to hilum Yom Kippur night. How important is this Baruch Hashem. I managed to finish till my son a table and Shabbos Maverick him but Yom Kippur night. They just haven't mastered yet. Okay, great questions. So first of all, let's make this clear. This is a story with a cousin like Zama. Meisha does not necessarily mean that the rebel would tell you the same thing. Yet there's a story and we know the stories sound the only person we have other stories as well the famous story that I'll be strong leveler was actually a marketing with mesh. So never let the zebra sharbo installed them suggested them or told him. He should stay up Thursday night Miss Myrtle urn. Okay, the rabbit says you do it but what is that? What does this all due time to time? You got a little tired. So Thursday afternoon. If sometimes take a nap and that way Thursday night, it could be up three dkw took meticulous attendance of the bar element template meme noticed in together with our brush after reviewing that personal never The Barker is Thursday's disappears from time to time from seder you Shiva the rebel a shop called him in. Some of them and said to be slow wasn't us my hi. What is this? She says that ever said I should stay up Thursday night. I'm all done for mechanic honest. Sometimes you need to make preparations to stay up and I was hinting why he went to take a nap the rebbe rishabh answered him two main cease. Well as fun slaven can come and see Mitchell often you think from sleeping you can come to not sleeping. In other words a whole point of not sleeping means that you're in a state of Ohio State you're going to sleep to prepare some not to sleep to be in that higher state. Now this set to everybody. Listen health comes first always the smart the Meridian after second Ibaka or any person that has issues needs to address those issues. You cannot put your health at risk and there are being made that all so clear and yet they gave this directives to know that if your health is good that no see this kite means you have to indulge remember sleeping that I'm not talking says how much a person should sleep. The average is seven hours or six hours eight hours different people have different needs different. His name's but sleeping is not an end in itself sleeping also has an indulgent side to it. Put some Slough. He likes to slide like that. Just love that. Everyone's told her husband that by my father bring in. There are few people who sleep with their eyes closed and many sleep with their eyes open social often is more than just physical sleep to be a first love from the person to be a drowsy person to be low maintenance sleep is a necessity. God created it refreshes us. That doesn't mean you have to be mahad here to do over do it. Why? Because that's exactly sleep is not an end in itself. So this talks about sleep as an example for goals actually. The goal is everything is on low maintenance. The Flames are low. It's like a human being when they're sleeping. They are full. They're not fully functional. They're breathing. The mind is working but it's all in low Allah o burner kiss to the Caillou's it's called very slow. And that's why sleep is considered when you wake up in the morning. There's too many fingers. You have to watch negative has the soul gets refreshed sleep can also bring great Revelations, but sleep itself is considered a inferior State than Awake when you're alert that's why Godless is called scheana how you knew could tell me we were like dreamers and sleep and go all this considered waking up think of being alert completely conscious and cognizant. So the I concept has to be understood in that obviously in a way in context. Some people can not really go without a few number of hours of sleep. So they have to realize and focus on the quality of the message and wherever possible sometimes you do have to push yourself with it's a shiny WM keep But and their oxidant and even today people who worked on themselves that you need less sleep. I don't need indulges were just like I don't need to eat so much. I don't need to sleep so much but it's case-by-case. Terrible Richard once said when I asked him, how do you sleep so little he said mazurkas a compassionate they say I do think they're swiftly have a head the graphs quickly. So I also sleep quickly. I always thought of it as an aside that you know today we know there REM rapid eye movement is the moment when sleep really Rates us is sometime early morning 4:00 5:00 a.m. When the they measured to and take my monitor it that is a moment when there's some type of a cell regeneration. I can search the time of most people dream but that sort of so intense you can just enter it. So that's why you need hours beforehand like incense to take off and then you need some hours afterwards to land. So you can say that every time shop didn't need to take off in the land use able to right away excess go straight cut to the chase. Wait to that moment of regeneration. Just a thought the rest of us have to do what we have to do. As I said it shall always never be at the expense of health and that's something you can review but it's also and the concept I once heard that ever told us that happen. I should have told someone who used to say thick and hot sauce at midnight the certain prayer on the goal is and so on so he once fell asleep came to Deborah shop for a tickin. What should I do? I fell asleep. I always say every night whenever I shot said with like a surprise we come to this. As I eat in these Kampala bus of Zen goof. How is it possible that a Jew? Is that control over his body? You can say when second we all get exhausted we get tired, but the rabbit was and this was not a cost of the highest level necessary was it that was saying to him who has to be control of your body in the falling asleep. He wasn't criticizing him. He was just pointing out that there's a higher standard higher expectation. So I hope I address the issue and again case-by-case talk to you much beer, but the theme the point is very clear about what this is. You know, we are here to work to work hard and not just to sleep away our days out of escapism or avoidance or just plain boredom. I also refer you to episode 160 where I talk more about sleep in general and with that. Let's move to the next topic handshakes. Handshake so this is a topic I've addressed but I will address it now again, and here's the question. Are there any situations when we can shake hands with someone from the opposite gender? Yep, so I'm going to read the questions and I read a book was the new questions came in even though I did address the topic how soon before you firstly thank you for the time and effort you spend and invest in sharing your knowledge and Clarity with us all I greatly appreciated and look forward to each episode. I especially admire your straight forward substitution and honest attitude. My question is regarding Slickers as well as a professional work atmosphere both of which I'm involved in. How should I deal with accepting? Handshakes from the opposite gender. Are there any leniency is or times when I met Sheikh his/her hand, I'm afraid certain people will be very turned off by might decline to their handshake and often. I find it extremely uncomfortable and hard to get around. I look forward to hearing your response in the near future. Thank you very much. Another person writes. Hi Rabbi. I'm not sure if you have talked about this in the past. I wanted to know what your take is on men shaking hands with women and vice versa. Is there a difference in conduct of the hostages - Lea or Rabbi of community or doing business and if I could be so bold to ask you. What do you what do you do personally a person who cares PS. Please don't mention this publicly. Okay, I won't but basically I was in a place where I saw somebody shake a woman's hand. I'm not mentioning any City. So this I feel it's appropriate to say it. I did not approach them because I felt uncomfortable. I think I did think perhaps there was a good reason and obviously if you don't feel comfortable answering what you do personally what you personally do no pressure. Okay. So I address this very directly and episodes 89 139 and 141. And it's based on how lhasa it's based on a locker. There are different opinions, but based on a lock that it says about opposite genders. Not only that there should be no relation is there should be no key roof shouldn't even get close. So the they derive from that and some say it's me that I say that you don't even touch question is touching in the form of affection or not an affectionate touch and there are two there are opinions, but the consensus is and definitely the highest standard is is to avoid it altogether. So I can send you this sources, but if you want the sources just email us but send us your email address because we don't have it on the form. It's Anonymous, but there is a discussion about it is that I'm bombed is that I'm bond is the chakra being the Aina. And overall the consensus is even if there are some that are more lenient in the context when it's for business or it's like not affectionate. But even then how do you determine where the across where do you draw the line? So generally speaking the consensus is to avoid it altogether. Now, what do you do? The questions asked in the halacha there as well they say. And what about his embarrassment? Barisan? Another person is also how long so how do you which one Trump's which embarrassing somebody or not shaking hands. So there there are different opinions. If there is outside of an affectionate. It's not personal. However, there are those that say even that reason there's no that's not acceptable and one of them is our locker the mission our lockers from a national Klein. He writes three reasons three reasons many decides was disagree with the shock even though the shock I'll tell you that does give some leniency and write that even touch that is not affection is forbidden. Number two, their socks lenient ruling is in regard to a doctor involved in his work. It is possible even he would forbid handshaking in other circumstances and number three, even if a handshake begins, unaffectionate, you can easily lead to something more affectionate which all would forbid So that's the consensus what people do actually I'm not going to speak for others. You asked about me. I'll tell you what I do what I have done because I'm a very public scenarios very often. I'm in bookstores signing books and people don't even have a clue and then that even people there who know so generally I avoid it can I say every time know their people put their hand inside and I did Shake I didn't pull away when I did the right thing or not. I can't tell you but that's what I did at the moment but not initiated it and then I went I did a something even better. I came up with a better idea. I don't think anybody's hands not men and not women. I'm an author I'm eccentric. Maybe I that maybe they think I'm obsessed with germs whatever it is. So I become that's that's the easiest approach for me. At least. I don't think anyone's I don't shake my nerves into in cuz it's very awkward you shake the man's hand woman's not so I decided I'm not shaking anyone's hand. It's much easier other people have different ways and methods and I'm not here to preach to anyone what to do. Talk about. How lock our lockers are. Locker and I again, I'm not defending what I've done because I know quite a wealthy our lockers. So we're times that Towing did that I will tell you an interesting story. I was once an event there was a playwright. They're known playwright the woman as she was being honored. Everybody was shaking her hand. I was there and now I'm there and everybody's watching I did not shake her hand and everybody was so shocked because was like, she's the star she's being honored to be a celebrity. And the woman says to me quietly, you know, that's very refreshing. It's very refreshing later. She told me privately that there was someone else a rabbi who not just touched her not just shook her hand, but it was more than that was very affectionate and she said was very refreshing. So interesting. I think it has to be done always sensitively and if neither explaining explain it is awkward. It's one of the challenges. I'm not suggesting it's not but we know the taters. Definitely need to see this. So I gave you the picture as best as I can and short but I refer you to those other episodes right disgusted much more at length and in general knowing information is always best because when you know, you know, the the potatoes the sources the reasons for it and even if there is a Linnaeus, you know that too and then you have to make a decision based with a Rover must be and not just based on your own your own. Your own sensibilities, but based on that tire and a lock and and the given situation, okay. We'll do a follow-up then we'll do the see this question. What is the follow-up? Two follow-ups one is about mustache. So last week I spoke about the mustache. They asked about trimming or cutting the mustache and I said, I have not seen something but I mentioned that there's two opinions so actually few people wrote to me that it's there ever does have a letter about it, which is printed. in the gig risque this volume 19 page 422 so the devil says regarding your question about shaving or trimming and cutting your mustache represents his since I did not hear about it. It did not hear a direct directive about this and open a favor directed and there's just dumb luck or no luck on their opinions this way and that way that's where you should look at. You should check out and try to clarify the minigun - the custom among her Nash meaning the community and our body our national bottom of an ash No who may know the actual behavior of older system. The Harem I said of an action is always most powerful how people actually behaved that's addition to what we discussed. I believe it's also printed in volume 32 and we could decisions this letter Okay, one more Spa low up. This was not a follow-up to tournament to meet to him. Sorry to my life's it has applied as a follow-up to. Something I spoke about in one of my other programs as you may know I have other problems every Wednesday night. I do a class and there's other short videos and texts and and articles that I right. You can always go to meaningful life and you could check out and subscribe to any of them. So one of them is called Soul work out. So this person writes in regards to the soul work on that. You talked about learning from Your Body Sensations. Okay, because their talks about learning and listening to your body as it speaks to you. Someone asked the following. I understand your general meeting meaning why I'm sure that's not your intention. You're not mentioning that some people experience chronic pain from debilitating disease can make your message appeared to me to be insensitive and hurtful. There's nothing there's nothing people who are in constant pain would like more than to feel the no feeling of being Okay, so my comment on that is what I said. There was that there's a certain element when you say to somebody that's healthy. What does it feel like being healthy? They have an answer. It's not a good sign healthy should not feel like anything. You shouldn't feel anything when your breathing your heart is beating. If you feel a sensation, that means something is either racing too quickly or something is blocking God forbid and so on and yet there are sometimes Sensations that tell us that there's a problem. So this person is saying seems insensitive some people don't want pain. It's not coming because they have a problem. They have chronic pain. So yes, I should have qualified it or not. The fact is we can always qualify everything and I qualify it. Now people have chronic pain need to look at a different thing why God would send it to them, but to suggest that they're trying to be conscious of themselves, obviously not and there's nothing to suggest that they're unhealthy in their attitude. They didn't ask for the pain so I can allege that and thank you for pointing that out to me. Let's duel. Now the see this question, please explain the It meant that for certain Souls that I should be. Like those be there was no husband no destruction of the best hamikdash. This is a statement written in Pella Harriman from a behavioral parature in the name of Amon-Ra. Her name of Rabbi Isaac Hamlet, even though there's a question whether that's only means but it seems so and the rubber ones is because he writes a manure means something he passed away and he hadn't passed away when that moment was said, but the emphasis perhaps the Miami was said or written later. Then he heard from him which means it came from the name of the Alta debe. Oh, I think he says it comes to how terrible the financial services committee has realized that remember his claw for highness. Some is greatness shamans. Like let us be the best. I mean this was never destroyed some asked to explain what this means. Let me begin with since we're talking to this question. We know in say the stylus there's many levels and one of them is called the world of Thai. Oh and there's the world of tickin tell you like we say in whom is the second part of our audit says to tell you of of are you tell you is a spiritual world the cabal explains where the tension of of incompatible energies and containers was too much and cause the containers to shatter not physically. Conceptually, and now that one moment it's a Perpetual tension. Take one repairs it in a sense tikun Olam evaders habiru Liam is separating and clarifying from the debris and putting it back in order and repairing the world are preparing good for the ghoul amnesiac when the balloon will be finished. We have the goal. So this is a speeder. This feels like a link to this explains is rooted in the symptom addition God concealing himself in turn the sweeter side Calum impacted a bunch of series of events this imbalanced cause the meal talavana the diminishing of the Moon which in turn leads to hesitate siddhas Adam and Eve eating from the Tree of knowledge every inconsistency every Rift. In history in time originates from these so-called breaks these shattering, 's including of course the destruction of the temple holding base. I'm English by a solution and by his Cheney every Corbin is not a positive thing. The house could not stand any longer either due to certain sins or due to sin as hinnom divisiveness. How could I rest among you when you're a war with each other So the skin is nostalgic and the place remains wholly the heart of ice but the building is no longer there being in base. I mean, especially she says well being in its key. It will be an eternal edifice never be destroyed again. So where's Destruction come from? It comes from an inconsistent installs. There are many Summers that are not affected by that. That doesn't mean that there's be did not fast on Tisha b'av. This does not mean that they don't understand that something was destroyed. First of all the destruction happen for all college law and Cabanas were not brought any more including them, but the concept of that destruction they were not affected directly because they're in the summer comes from a place that's higher than destruction that cannot be destroyed. I'm discussed earlier - be bridged premise and it's and premise and Nicholas detailed the inner and the outer he was a neshama that transcended destruction. That's why I was able to reveal the innermost secrets of theta to give us the power to correct and repair the destruction. It's like you need something from Beyond above the system to help repair the system. It's interesting who else would go into this category like rugby, but he stated clearly about him and that's why that's be was To you can lift the color in them called him in and then I'm able to to atone to be able to absolve din din is symptom dinners Corbin and so on from all people like baima has the power of goola goola Ditka power like Michelle has that power Premier cetera a power that brings energy from a place that's beyond destruction to help us repair when things are broken. They has the question. That is why I did that is I say Al Kut These sins are not sure today's also students explained. Number one. He said it for the generation number two. He's part of the generation everything. The generation has some subtle weights and him like the story of the mitla debe who had to find within himself subtle subtle some issue that someone mentioned to the letter B couldn't give him a tick one until he repaired within himself. She have to say that I should be who was part of the Jewish people felt their pain. He himself was in the summer from a greater place. but he had to come in to make them stick in like we know that after 12 years in the might and the in the cave, he came out and everything weren't able to said you have to go back a 13 by Ministry and come out and repair everything. So to that tolerate the brakes and the pettiness of this world was not the cover on res be initially was in that level then he got to a higher level everything you have to repair. So obviously he identified with it, but he himself was from the world Beyond break and therefore has the power to repair and that's why we invoke his name. I got payment because we wanted to help us achieve that goal the Ditka power to bring the Golda to repair all brakes. Someone like as B4 which through there was no hope at all. Now. Let's do the next three essays. This is going in order from the top essays which we announced right before Paisa. So now we're going to the next three essays. The first one is this is essay contest year 2019 and they're all still in the top 10. So they're all excellent. Essays. This is considering lessons on growing through trauma by Adams of Michelle age 18 Melbourne, Australia student in Melbourne's owl. There are very few human rights, if any people who will not or will not face some measure who have not or will not face some measure of trauma in their lives. Obstacles are inseparable feature of any Journey. The obvious question is to this teachers that is within the souls power. It's interesting. It's connected to the carbon that I just spoke with students teachers that is within the souls power to experience each event and up for growth. See I have set before you today life and prosperity as well as death and disaster. It's a book posthumous the obvious question becomes how how does an invisible and individual Community people Society Rouse rise above trauma and grow using the five-factor post-traumatic growth inventory for measuring growth after trauma. This essay will discuss a specific methodology supported by teachings and tales of the Chabad Rebellion for facilitating ptg. That's post-traumatic growth. and goes on to the inventory the five steps five factors personal strengths new possibilities appreciation of Life relating to others spiritual change and go to each one of them and shows our see this teaches us how to do so excellent essay could have easily been a winner as I said, these are small little points fraction of points that determine one from the next I definitely highly recommend reading this essay which is posted now because it has applied that cam just go to essays and you'll see the new Essays that are posted very well done. Well annotated excellent. Excellent essay. Good next. Essay is in Hebrew. As I said many many as is came from Hebrew. It is called Hot Stove exceeded laughter autocracy Ballymena modernly specific response oxidic approach to them. to the what's I say to the fear and to the That exist in our modern world. Cause a Model A out of Bays aleph Menachem Mendel deltal age 22 Yokohama in Israel is a student attempted women in that area. And he writes. It's Hebrew. He says I said it's posted he talks exactly about that fear. And again, excellent essay talks about how cognitive psychology addresses it. And its limitations how she does her muzzle booster packs in the suggested her behavior of both psychology dresses. It. Actually I should have gone the other way how they start with cognitive psychology. Behavioral psychology the shit and Taylor and mustard and then the model that comes from cities that revolutionizes a new approach in dealing with fear in transforming it not just avoiding it and I've just countering it. To understand its roots Beyond its symptoms and he calls it a lot of Basil of an excellent. Excellent human looking the three things are in Amman. I don't see it on of hand soap. Sorry about that. Yeah in one beat Austin. and okay, look it up yourself. I'm gonna Iman and the talking. Okay, and one of the talking and a moon a moon is Faith the toxins trust in him on his is another form of commitment. And that is that sa good that's a number two, and now the third essay and again in Hebrew egoism made by Yael Patrona egoism from problem to solution Levi will home age to age 17 fast Israel student is Shiva Chabad and swass. And he writes exactly about that egoism again another excellent essay and talks about ego. How do we look at ego? I discussed it a bit earlier in this program, but he this is much more comprehensive and analyzes. What exactly is the ego? It's symptoms what part are positive elements of it? What are the root of it? How do you Channel and harness ego? And ultimately the Bittle to the Creator are bitten Exodus teaches us how to take our lives and align it to a higher purpose tremendously good essay again, and it could have easily been another winner. It is a winner but I'm talking about the top winners that won the prize has very good outline just going through it all. Yeah, so that their you got the third essay this week's three essays every week. What I do is I review the order of the marks the s Is so your essays will come up and look forward. We try to let you know before hand so you can share it and listen to it as we speak about them. So with this we conclude this week's episode 261 of my life is it has supplied everyone should have an Ishtar found Ditka week taking pesach sheni less and know you can always do better. You can always grow you can always repair even something that may have been overlooked or lost opportunities like button. My that opens up all the channels but hard to stand proud and they are chambliss is sold and this week of like Bayman. We have been lifted: culminated in so as the rambam explain that as be can take didn't take the mortgages as a didn't means also the dean of colors that has be can take us out of colors and ultimate like Bayman even before like them and we should be redeemed in the Golem. It is vastly know. We're here every Sunday. My life says, it's applied Sunday 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. All these programs are archived can be listened to To anytime you can download it podcast. And I and all other forms and platforms everyone have a very blessed week. And I and all other forms and platforms everyone have a very blessed week.
Addressing the Personal and Emotional Needs of Our Community and Answering the Most Pressing Questions of Our Lives -- from the Perspective of Chassidic Thought. TOPICS • Chassidus Applied to Pesach Sheni and Lag B’Omer 0:10 • Lessons from Behar 12:30 • As an orthodox Jew teaching in a secular school, how do I navigate and draw the line between insisting kindness and acceptance of all students in our classroom, and normalizing or condoning behavior that is forbidden by Torah? 17:50 • Is there a healthy need for ego? 26:30 • Can a sociopath do teshuva? 31:45 • Does Chassidus ever expect us to sleep less than is normally required? 37:30 • Are there any situations when we can shake hands with someone from the opposite gender? 45:10 • Follow-up (episode 260): Moustache; Consciousness 51:33 • Chassidus question: Please explain the statement that for certain souls, like Rashbi, there was no churban (destruction of the Beis HaMikdash). 54:50 • My Life 2019 essay contest winners:    o Chassidic Lessons on Growing through Trauma, Aharon Zev Moshel, 18, Melbourne, Australia 1:00:45    o מודל א.ב.א. – התשובה החסידית להפרעות החרדה בעולמנו המודרני, Menachem Mendel Dekel, 22, Yokne-am, Israel 1:02:32    o אגואיזם – מבעיה אל פתרונה, Levi Wilhelm, 17, Tzfat, Israel 1:04:42 