Hi, Merry, Christmas. Merry mined gold Christmas from Glen Eden Auckland. This is a spontaneous episode with my dear brother. His name is Stephen. Hi, Steven. Hi Sarah. How's it going? So good, mate. How are you? Not bad. So we are sitting in the basement of my parents place where we both grew up on a couch, which we've just discovered has mold on it. My parents are totally gonna listen to this episode 2. So guys if you catch his mold onYou might want to clean it. Just FYI. We're surrounded by a DVD collection and we're like meters from my old bedroom with some shit went down. Welcome the day later my bedroom. We also lighter my brother's bedroom with notion. Nothing. We did. Our thing would have gone down ever, LOL. Anyway, it's Christmas Day and we're just enjoying a casual beer and some Ferrara row shares and I thought Stephen should be on the podcast for a few reasons. Like what is my brother? So obviously that's pretty cool too. He's a ringer. So that's a bit special for him. And also he is probably going to the Olympics which is pretty epic like for reals, like as a weightlifter people often don't understand my support and they're like, oh Sarah is going to the Olympics and it's really embarrassing because I have to correct them very quickly and be like, no I'm not know. This is literally like recreational I take my spot very seriously, but I'm not very good at it. I'm not going to the Olympics like if it ever ever ever, so please do not say that it's very very thing. He however is probably go to the Olympics so definitely worth an episode and a conversation. So why did you tell everyone why you're going to the Olympics? Okay Ava well, probably probably going as a bit of a stretch it's possible, but it's still it's still a ways away. But anyway, I do a tree so I've been competing that I start been doing actually since I was 13, so 17 17 years with with a small break a couple of years ago when I owned a gym which will probably get back to at some stage. Yeah, he beat me at my own goal of owning a CrossFit gym, which is not my goal anymore. But it was I can tell you how it how it works out. So yeah, probably don't don't open a CrossFit gym. Well open a CrossFit gym if you like Crossing, yeah, don't open one if you don't Probably know that you've already got a full-time job as well. Yeah, anyway Lessons Learned. So anyway, I've been shooting pretty consistently at a high level since I was about 13 or 14. I there's a we explain this before Thomas are about this. So just like just like lifting there's a whole bunch of lifting right power lifting body building all these various things only one of them goes the Olympics weightlifting the one I do ya want you to I want to go to the Olympics. No, I might die. That person don't be there fucking person if I could deal with that shit you do too. A free Society is a whole bunch of different versions of that tree is a whole bunch of different divisions and bow types and classes and organizations that compete and only one of those goes the Olympics which is a recurve archery often known as Olympic recurve just like weight lifting is Olympic weightlifting. And so after I was shooting for about six years just in a normal and pick type of archery. I want to will title and some nonsense no one cares about how that's pretty cool. I care about it. I'm sure our listeners through a dad. Dad. Listen Sokka Yeah, he might care about anyway, I don't care about some wasn't that big a deal but I change to I meet a new coach and he changed me to the class that could go to the Olympics with the goal of shooting in London and 2012. So I was just finishing high school and I finished high school or my dear parents wanted me to go to university and be the good boy and rack up some debt and can I just say that I went to University and I got literally no fucking props for that. Because I was such a little can't before I went to University that it was like you just fucked it. I'll just such an excellent brat. So for those that haven't even seen Sierra and I together you really should because you'll think we were adopted. It's kind of brilliant. We have a similar sense of humor. I think. Yeah we do but we don't look very similar. I have zero tattoos, for example, and well, she's quite outgoing and you know, lots of a row. I was afraid of balloons until embarrassingly old age because so glad you said the Pilon thing. I was scared of balloons and answering the phone and just talking on the phone and general one time. My parents sent me to the dairy to buy some cream. They didn't give me enough money to pay for it and the Very person took the money and said that's not enough and I shat myself and ran home and he's actually shoot yourself my figuratively God, but I was afraid of going to the dairy for about two years. So Missing parenting can swing wildly different directions. Whereas I was like smoking cigarettes out of your bedroom window when you were at school. Yeah, so that would be blamed on you. Should I be discovered because I knew I didn't have a set for this but it was really obvious that it was me. Especially when Mom saw me standing on your bed smoking out the window, so I don't even know that I'm not the worst thing ever. No definitely not. So anyway, it gives you all. Insight into how my brain works always always like got on. Oh, yes got on. We've always got on. It's just that you were too cool for me and I was afraid of balloons and I can accept that. I've never been called. I just had some sometimes anyway if I can die. Anyway, we all head out. We had our issues we chose to deal with them in different ways. My way was shooting arrows at Targets and pulling them out again and doing it again. I know I was always like super envious of your relationship with Dad because basically like Stephen and dads like Like archery thing was like this little like fucking boy club like bonding thing like back when Steven was younger and I like just didn't get it coated because I was too busy like, you know smoking so he's and like passion boys and like Parks so I didn't get to do that. And then now Stephens go to the Olympics and I'm not bitter. I'm just saying I got I got I got I got taught how to bow hunt by guy that turned out to be a pedophile. So this is a really good story. Okay. So this is the best story. Okay. So when Steven was like how old were you 14 like? Okay. So like pedophile like a wide range. Well a bit old anyway, but you know that look at different types. Like everyone's got types of files would have type. I was probably quite underdeveloped. So perhaps probably about here only looked about ten like at least an 11 year old. Anyway, there was like this older man at the archery club who talk like a real interest in him and was like giving him all these private tutorials Etc and me and Mom were like, well, he's obviously a pedophile I'll like clearly and me and Dad were like no, he's just a nice guy got super pissed off and like all you guys just being like really judgmental and like there's nothing wrong with like an older man taking interest in like a younger boy. How bad is that sentence though? Like obviously you're but we call this is going to sound so bad it took offense to mums saying like, oh, he's got all these markers. He's got all the warning signs. We like red flag. He was like a pedophile red flag. That's because he was single and anyway, and that he was a pedophile anyway, but you know the biggest red flag. Us know when he actually got convicted of being a pedophile me to present that that was probably the biggest I will admit it raised some concerns did raise some questions. But anyway, me and Mum were more like happy that we were right then like concerned that Steven may have gotten molested and are you don't start imagining things? No Christmas Day reveal? No. No. No, so skipping skipping a year or so Jays to anyone who's triggered by this I should have said that at the beginning. Yeah. I didn't realize we're gonna get into the whole Passage. Situation you were yeah, this is going in it's a very important part of my archery development. Imagine if he could see you now, he wouldn't he wouldn't be key. Now you're too old. I don't know. But yeah, so anyway, as you are missing the year that I dislike my mother for breaking up my relationship with this lovely man, that that was desperately trying to molest me. This entire time has now given me psychological scars of the fact that I was in fact rejected by a pedophile at work, which is quite harmful. Anyway, anyway, anyway back to your athletic anyway, both anyway, so once some once I meet this new coach who was not a pedophile because you had a family and kids which eliminates the possibility of being a pedophile obviously work lamarca system. He started training me and I finished school didn't go to university. That's all we got sidetracked of the universe how you ask us how we can get to this point. Anyway, I just was just desperate to bring it out. So after I finished school, I was supposed to go to university do it agreed or sort of things. But I've got really keen on the Olympics. I knew I needed money. I knew I wasn't going to get money from anywhere else. I wasn't going to get funding in the most scholarships. There was no training camps. No organizational anything to give me so I got an apprenticeship at the company that my coach worked and I still work there today 12 years after I first got it as an engineer. Just let everyone know I've been extra finish my friendship. Yes. I'm an engineer. I work. Gum Milling machines. So for the next three years we trained and I spent all my money. I lived at home rent-free luckily lucky for me at my parents house and trade all the time and see myself around the world to try and qualify for the Olympics. And yeah, I didn't didn't quite make it. I was very very close and it's a classic example of not knowing everything that's required before you see it off. What do you what do you mean by that like in terms of what in terms of athletic ability in terms of mental like strength that you've developed through the sport? Like what do you think you were missing to not qualify? So let's just timing in terms of I just needed longer, you know for years isn't long enough. Maybe it needed to be longer. Yeah, some of it is just that things like the Olympics are often very cut and dry in terms of simple how you do it, you know, it's not like shoot the score beat this person you go to the Olympics. It's it can be very political. It can also be very much how other countries around you perform as well. So the Olympics is yeah. That's true. The Olympics is split into many different zones around the world. Just just an example. I've been to a couple of food championships and Riku and only three people per gender per bow divisions per country allowed to compete. So 3 Min in my case from each country can compete in recurve class. There was over 210 competitors at the last words I went to and so that's a ton of countries. Yeah that you're talking specifics that that's a ton of garnets. That's a it is it's it's lots of them and so that's that's a lot of people and there's a lot of people and the spit and to put that in perspective only 64 men and 64 women get to go the Olympic Games. So how do you cut that 210 plus people down to 64 and so it's all sort of the places are handed out at the world Champs. They handed out and continents. They handed out and ran a little qualification spots and depending on how your country performers in the and the countries around you and in all sorts of other things. Can drastically affect your chances in my sport. I know every Sports very different. What does the same with weight lifting? So like someone else's scores are going to directly affect whether you get a spot like my friend Emily. She was on a previous episode actually, so she's in the process of qualifying and it's just like an absolute head fact quite the Robie points and that there's a six international events. You've got a you know, like play sad and different weight classes and they change them and it's just like yeah, that's The chances of making it even if you like fucking like she's amazing. Yeah, but even so it's like it's not guaranteed. Do you know it's just yeah it is it's crazy and and at that stage in 2012, I kind of had in my head what I wanted to achieve what I thought would be enough because that was what was enough when my coach was competing and that's what he knew but obviously it's like to change how you know, it was it like 10 years on kind of situation. Yeah, it looks completely changed and in that time period Read the in 0 C which is the New Zealand Olympic Committee who selects the teams will be one for Australia. They'll be one for every country the sporting bodies of your sport. Don't generally sleep the team. It's the the overall governing body for the Olympics in your country that do. Okay. And so my mission is not to prove that I'm the best archer in the country or whatever because I've done that it was proved to the n0c that I could make the requirements and what are their requirements as opposed to the actual scores that you So the requirements is top 16 in the world. They want they want anyone that goes the Olympics for New Zealand that they can prove that they are expecting at least a top 16 would be intention of being top eight. Okay, so that's that's just New Zealand every country has their own thing. It seems whether they'd rather have just like no one go at all. I'm a percent and that's why and that's why no one's been for the Olympics for New Zealand archery since 2004. Wow. So if you go it's like kind of a mess of data, I mean even more than it would be normally. Yeah. I mean, it's just it just shows You it's just just changes the the circumstances change and all sorts of things. So so that's the deal. And so that's why I missed out back in 2012, and I nothing that I couldn't have succeeded then if I just shot betta I just needed some better schools and better results and matches to go one go my way and I could have made it but I didn't that's fine. I life goes on. I went to a mom a little bit version of the sport just for fun and just keep shooting and keep winning stuff and just enjoying hmm. Enjoying sport. So what do you think strange for you now despite obviously the fact that you've got another, you know several years of technical skill wonder about as anything else change for you that you think now with is going to be your time to get there. It's interesting. I guess age helps a lot like just the maturity. It's you go through stuff with you want to or not and you feed off it in terms of In terms of life experience and perspective and what matters and what doesn't and so I have I have quite a long time when I didn't care about the Olympics, I don't even think about it in 2016. I don't think I was even shooting a recurve bow. And then I had a had some time on it again and shot some some good schools again and still not considering Tokyo 2020 not even interested. I've brought a gym. I tried to basically gave up on my hobbies and just try to run a gym and run some other stuff and things. End of last year that all fell apart and we'll sort of just searching for something to do, you know something to make myself feel like some self-worth and then I've got something to offer and I picked the ball up again and and shot see my seriously for six months and just broke PBF the PB and one comps and New Zealand and did really well and was quite shocked at the Improvement that I've made by almost not shooting. And it was like just all those because before I was after school was, you know, it's all about the school and all about winning this confident about this and and something when that was removed. It was just about the matter just about having fun and about shooting Suddenly It's like I had a bit of a release from that. Yeah, I understand how that feels for sure and and the results came a lot better and I still wasn't taking it seriously until about June this year. And when I went over to Japan to do the Olympic test event, which is Of all my actually travels I always wished I've been to Japan. I don't know why it's just one of those countries that you just want to go to. Yeah. It's just it's just a like one of those mythical places to go. And so even though I still wasn't thinking about the Olympics at all. I didn't couldn't care less. I was just just sort of just keeping ticking over and I went and shot in the test event and didn't do particularly. Well for wasn't training very hard match play was good. My ranking wasn't so good. But I shot against the guy who got second at the world Champs only a Few months before so he was obviously informed great Archer from Malaysia. Awesome Archer and I pushed him. It was a good match. It was really really close. I shot for the first time either for me on the solo stage with all the cameras, you know in front of everyone which I've never done before because Morgan Sonny and finals, but for the Olympics, they run every single match like that. So it's everyone gets their time on the stage and I really enjoyed it and shot well, and I didn't win he beat me but it was Sorry, it was a good match and it was competitive. And at the same time about a month ago to new zealanders live your Hodgson and Adam consignee managed to win a mixed team spot at the Oceania whole fight qualifying shoot. Oh shoot. I was kind of supposed to go to but I was selling my gym and doing a whole bunch of other stuff and just not even interested and they won the spot Australia, maybe couple of girls he's and and now we have spots so suddenly there's a massive fight on to see who can fill them. And so well, I'm absolutely no way. A certainty to go. I have a chance just like everyone else but ironically a much bigger chance my head in 2012, which is which is kind of strange. But yeah, so cool life be like that. Sometimes I love that. It was kind of like forgetting about it that make you closer to it. I think that that's what I've kind of discovered in weightlifting is that like being so numbers focused and being so outcome focused and finding that like time and time again, I don't feel that I really Really achieve what I want to like on the platform. Obviously. This is you know, no one in the Olympics, but I mean just for me like I've got numbers in my head that I want to achieve. I've got goals that I want to achieve and I feel like progress wise in terms of numbers. I'm like so far off them. So I think for me it's about deciding to not focus on that not obsess over fucking qualifying for this masters of are not qualified for this and that and just actually enjoying it and I think like I've made Like the relationships that I've made and the community that I'm in and all that. I've just kind of love that so much more than like You know, yeah, it's achieved mint and the sport. It's a weird. It's a real defined the same with that tree. Is it that same sort of you feel like you're a part of something? Yeah hundred percent and it's one of the toughest challenges that I think you need a place to deal with is or anyone that's trying to do anything is that it's such as that bringing it back down to this enjoyment enjoying the process enjoying enjoying that and in the results. They are what they are as long as we enjoy the process and and stay what's What's the way they all use now mindful, you know of where you're at with the process. Yeah, but it is super super hard because at some point someone is going to say to you you need to school and you need this result was competition. If you want to go to XYZ. How does that affect how you perform like having that much pressure on you? Historically not hasn't gone very well. Does it get in your head too much? Yeah for sure. I get really nervous that I'm going to let other people down. I don't, you know myself I can deal with that. My own gold my own life. I don't mind but when someone's like you need to do this because then then we're going to qualify for this and then you know, that's what gets me going and I get into a bit of a downward spiral sometimes and I'm not shooting well that I'm leaving everyone down and and and not just myself, you know, just just like I far rather just be me, you know, it's actually such a funny sport because it's individual because you're it's a score you shooting it's like weightlifting. It's a number, you know, and if If you lift your Beast weight and lose you should better walk away happy because it's a PV. You can't do more than that. Yeah, and that's that's the same as all I want to do is shoot my best and and if it works out, that's awesome. But you can quite easily shoot your best and get nowhere and that's that's how it is. It's I could I could walk into a match and shoot like rubbish, but then the other person for whatever reason has an off day and shoots worse and I weren't and everyone thinks I'm a hero. It's just yeah, that's the thing. It's not just depending on your performance as depending on other people's 100% So there's a whole thing of wanting to be a good competitor and wanting, you know wanting other athletes to you don't want other athletes to do badly to your yeah benefit. Yeah, always that sucks always expect your opponent's best possible performance. That's something that I've always taken taken into every match. You always expect them to do the best you've ever seen them the and in New Zealand that's especially important because we don't have a lot of depth and archery. We've got some good options here and there but not compared to Australia and I can get two tons of tons of countries. So you often shooting into people you have no idea what they're going to do. They could put them all the middle. They could screw them all over the place. You don't have any idea and so you've just got to be prepared that it's not like weightlifting. Will you pretty much know what someone's done at the previous can't yeah and obviously if they do way more than that you like they're on drugs. We don't have any can't possibly just got a 5 kilo PV. They must be on. Yeah. We don't have that problem. Well, at least I know and told me about it. Yeah, it's such an interesting thing because I mean it's you know, his whole mental as they say it comes down to it for me. It's just about getting to more and more of these competitions and putting myself on that pressure and giving myself the chance to prove that I'm good enough and I'm not trying to prove it to anyone but myself so it's all on me saying how much do you feel that? You're like identity. I mean you talk about being like so shy as a kid and like being scared of balloons. And I mean I was there I was hilarious but also everything going on the podcast. Only he couldn't go to a birthday party. He couldn't go and he would cry fuck. Yeah, it was so funny. Sure. Anyway, it's quite so much anyone that knows me outside of you know that I love that used to be scared of balloons. And now you can literally shoot arrows which let you know Pierce balloons. I guess it's a beautiful that suck out of balloons. I love that though. You've come so far that you're now like that's what you do if you know, what's interesting and the most balloon passing sport that exists if you go on YouTube and you You look up Bridgestone commercial artery. I got paid a few years ago 10 grand to fly to South Africa to shoot arrows at a car tire for Bridgestone, which is basically just like a giant hard below you go hold balloon as I said, but by yeah, if you ever got go on YouTube look up Bridgestone a tree commercial, please don't guys going to be real set up your little sniper's are there's only one Ranger on there. Just don't leave me nigga. I post I will post it on anyway. Yeah, so that's pretty cool. I mean what K. So what I'm saying is like how much of your identity is tied up and to achieving this goal. And how do you think that's going to affect you in terms of outcome? Like say you don't make it so you don't do as well as you thought do you just you're still fucking Stephen it elicits can't who is no longer afraid of balloons. It's interesting because it's yeah, it's it's come a long way it originally when I was first trying in my 20s. It was everything. You know, I I'm a whole career was based. Ston me going to the Olympic Games. I hadn't looked past that I'm going to UNI I was living in my parents house. Never girlfriend. I was just a hundred percent focused on achieving that and when that didn't happen, it was just this like we haven't thought this fire here, like what do I do now? And but it was fine. Like, it's me Will doesn't end you just carry on and you just pick yourself up and go on to the next thing and I think I've learned from that so much that this time. Like honestly, I really honestly don't mind, you know, whether I go or not. I'll do the best I can as well. I totally believe you I've got I've got a ton of stuff to do next year, but I'm spinning Fortune to try and qualify your wireless fucked up for me. I've been through some shit with it. And it's it also you keeps the point you like it. It won't be new this quote was coming up eventually and it's from that quote from Cool Runnings that even one quotes which is you can be a be a man. I think it goes something like you can be a man without a gold medal Man full of shit without a gold medal but you win a gold medal. You'll still be a man full of shit and some are even heard that before it's so good because it's true because if I can't be happy with where I'm at and what I'm doing that's true Olympics isn't going to make that you know, I know plenty of people were gone to the Olympic Games for archery and don't talk about it at all. It's not like it's a big life-changing thing where you know that just just another comp and and they just carry on. I fucking love that. It seems like you just have the most like realistic perspective of it. And I feel like myself. I've got him caught up so much in like I'll show them. I don't know. I've always had this like fucking I don't know like fucking chip on my shoulder be in my Bonnet like knickers in a knot over like a whole bunch of shit from my childhood from you know from growing up here from like everything and I feel like I've always tried to be like, I'll fucking show everyone else. Everyone I can be this person and I can be someone that people are proud of and like Etc. But it's like you've just quietly become that person without making a big fucking song and dance about it. Yeah. Okay. I've got a chip on my shoulder for a long time as well with with not making your pics of first time. I blame a lot of people I blame myself. I blamed a pedophile. I didn't blame him. He was fine. Hello. So he's not fine. I'm guys not fun at all. No, I did get convicted a big No-No Even worse attempted perfect, man. We've never succeeded embarrassing to be honest. It's a fucking Christmas time of radius 3 p.m. I really don't like that. But yeah it was Yeah, I don't know it. I did have a chip on my shoulder and I probably was a deckhand and and felt like people screwing me over and and and this time is a very ironic that it's just seem to be coming together with me doing nothing about it and it's but that's just how it goes and and I think the most important thing is that like I mean everyone's such okay, so chip on my shoulder because I'm competing. I'm competing professionals. You know, you're Australian teams pretty much professional but you are a professional also. Well, I work for an official with a fresh professional actor of the full-time job, but I'm sure most actors that have a full-time job. No, no, no, some of them do some of them do some very good ashes. I respect very much as full-time jobs, but most of us for some reason. I was just thinking what did Robin Hood do for a job? Yeah. Rob's people that's right. So that was his job. But no no, I'm against professionals. Especially Asian countries and the Netherlands you're against them as and fuck them or just like you're competing against to be clear guys is not bagging out every other Archer had a great eye if anything it's just easy because I just wish I could do that. But at the same time, well, you can't you just have to come and live back here with the moldy couch. That's a good point. But yeah that at the same time, you know, I've got a life outside of the sport and and I do enjoy it quite other hobbies. And and yeah, it's cool. People are sparks from the sounds of it. You just can't like I gave so many fucks for so long and eventually you run out and then you just you know, it's kind of annoying to me that it's taken this long for it to happen like mentally but it did and that's take it. It's I'll take it or leave it just as long as I'm happy as long as as long as I enjoy what I'm doing, I love coaching. I love helping out kids and shooting and and no matter what happens come was it may I'm going to find out whether I make it or not. Also be shooting it won't matter. I'm not going to quit and and go on a massive Rampage or anything one side Rampage what sort of Rampage like booze-fueled Rampage like a sex Rampage? I don't know actually maybe don't tell me I try to lose Rampage once but it lasted for a day and hang on was terrible. Mine was like 10 years. It was solid. I don't know how you do it again do it. Now the way you wish probably go because her family arrived and we're just like sitting down here talking shit on a multi couch. Thank you so much this Was the best you're welcome as well. I'm so proud of you just your attitude whether you make it or not. Thanks. I'm not ashamed anymore. You're not well to be sure. I was hiding in my room most of my childhood. So because the balloons and the phone probably where you probably were in it. I miss I came in to have a diary out the window Merry fucking Christmas Merry Christmas Tom and happy having a fantastic day with family friends, whatever if you're at the gym if you're by yourself if you with your cat. Have a fucking excellent day. And remember that giving list box is quite likely that the key to being a good Archer and probably just in general on your Fox a yours own your Fox famous words from my brother statement. Thank you so much guys have a fucking great Christmas, and yeah, I'll see you next time. Bye. You're gonna say bye. Good. Bye.
The Christmas spirit (or beers) lead to this spontaneous episode with my brother Stephen, archer and future Olympian. Stephen gets deep into his journey in his sport and what has lead him to having a second crack at the Olympics, despite an intense phobia of balloons and phone calls. 02:00 How Stephen got into archery and how close he got to the Olympics in 2012. 04:00 Why everyone needs to know I went to university and why Stephen was (and still potentially is) afraid of balloons. 06:00 Potentially triggering near miss with a pedophile which lead to subsequent Christmas lunch confessions that may need a podcast of their own (and probably some therapy). 09:00 The Olympic qualifying process for archery and whether making it actually even matters. 14:00 Adversity as fuel and why life experience and perspective can be just as valuable as technical improvements. 16:00 Relating athletic achievement to identity and self-worth and how changing this thought process can actually improve results. 19:00 Feeling like you're a part of something, enjoying the process rather than being solely outcome focussed. 21:00 Coming full circle from balloon fear to being paid $10,000 to puncture tyres in South Africa (please watch his commercial). 25:00 Why the Olympics is just another comp. 27:00 Who of the siblings has the biggest chip on their shoulder and what we are doing with them. 29:00 Giving less fucks, or simply running out of them. 