What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. All right, welcome back to the dad and buried podcast this week. We're going to be talking about summer break, which is looming for Pete and I and a lot of you already already started that we're going to get into it some of the differences and what we do to survive it if you're a new listener. My name is Mike is my co-host Pete do my best not to be too mean to him this week. I hurt really hurt his feelings. I didn't mean it. You just went on for like 20 minutes. Well, you know what when you have a point you make it? Okay. My dad's a lawyer. I'm also known as dead and buried online on Instagram recently got verified. We'll get into that what I have a Blog a Facebook page. I just talked trash about parenting and about my kids. Yep, and you make memes you spend I do I make a lot of names. You know what I go where the people are right? And then I cultivate is it is that is it works is it you just throw stuff out? Into The Ether and hope someone like are you insinuating that I don't put way too much thought and time into my social media output because I do in fact, that's even you would be better. If you took the tack of me being too into it and calling me pathetic for that rather than acting like I just toss it off. I was waiting for you to finish and you're going to do both exactly I can take me with you know, now who's being mean to who that's being mean to him. Here we go. Let's give and take so everybody else. Welcome back and thanks for joining us. We want to remind you you Listeners new and old to support us on patreon so we can keep doing this. I need to get some patches for my jeans that Pete really despises. The I think it may give you saw the jeans. I think if ever I told you Mom and buried she fucked up the jeans I liked it. I liked his really organically get some ripped jeans and live in them. Nothing wrong with that. She sliced some shit. I mean, they look think of like like a muppet mouth every time you walk. Everybody likes the Muppets. Literally Everyone likes them up. Literally Everyone likes the Muppets. Thank you for complimenting my jeans and my knees because that's actually not the number one fashion statement in 2019 is Muppet multiple options? Yeah, Muppet knees. Okay, you know what you heard it. So we already have some supporters. Thank you guys Chris Coleman David Tuttle Ms. Baybayin. There are the single dad tear just a mere $2 a month. We got Barbara Geiger AKA funky fee the dad bod tear she's very loyal she sent in some comments this week as well like this. She's in Germany. It's very unique perspective cool. Right? We have what I was doing some looking at the analytics. We have like these towns in England are absolutely amazing. Are they? Well, you would know I guess. Yeah, like one of these episodes were going to get into your upbringing we're gonna go. Okay one of these episodes we're gonna go on look we get enough World's Greatest Dad patreon subscribers. We're just going on location in Hanford by Trent. What is it that I'm names know exactly, right? That's like Stoke upon Newcomb. So father figure, McCarthy my old colleague. Thank you Julie for humoring me and the world's greatest dad tear we got Sarge Cole. I'm going to do it again Vie de Meyer. Although it's probably one of my wedding Meyer Mary Williams and Mom party of two who you know, she came she came out hard. She smashed the comment section for a while and then kind of retreated. Well, thank you all and we really appreciate it. We love to be your name as well. Yeah, we'd love I mean look, obviously we like doing this but you know, my wife doesn't really like that I leave. Right all the time and I'm not really bringing in any income aside from the the few Patriots that we have so far to help us improve this thing. So we're trying to go worldwide. Yes teej worldwide. So right that's how that mean. Have you seen this? If you're a patreon you're going to get a behind-the-scenes video of what it takes to set up this place and what it looks like and it'll be like you will feel pity for us afterwards. All right. So recommend us to your friends rate US on iTunes, we gotta we have 30 ratings and a handful of reviews we Is more both only five stars positive reviews because otherwise, you know, what do you think? What's your point? What's isn't Yelp. I know we have tens of listeners. So let's go we seriously do you can watch comment subscribe on YouTube and we have some merchandise Pete came through. I mean, there's a URL Here No One's Gonna. Remember it shop that spreadshirt.com Dad and buried the link is on my blog. You can buy some stuff. You can't buy pint glasses. We're going to find a way to we're going to remedy that they're the number one item for a dad and buried fan. Is that right? Right. I'm guessing there's a there's a mug. I would drink up data, but I'm not gonna buy a dead and buried t-shirt. Okay, the other day, I wore my Dolphins hat and dolphins shirt without realizing I was doing both and I'm like, I'm an asshole to people wearing a dead man. Some kid walked by and goes go dolphins and then I heard him walking with his friend and he started talking trash about it. So he was just trolling me just completely trolling for a second. I'm okay. This is teenager thinks I'm cool. Oh wait. No, he just told me into a false sense of don't think any teenager at any time as ever. Thought. I was cool. Even when I Teenager amongst other teenagers, were you wearing your jeans and your pumps? I was wearing flip-flops for not jeans is wearing shorts flip-flops. Okay, I guarantee you he was into my rainbows. You went you unfold Trifecta double doleful Trifecta. Well double dolphin and flip-flops. It doubled often was inadvertent and how does it flip flops? I've gotta try think there's no uniforms in the city. I know you're dumb. Cirie about flip-flops. You know what I love them. They're like slippers. They're comfortable. But in the city will good beach. Great. That's what I'm not. Aired of the city it's my home. I love it. Yeah, you know what maybe if you weren't scared of it, you would Thrive but that's why you're sick all the time though. I'm not sick all the time. Yeah. Well, I am looking at your feet. Let's discuss, you know, the truth comes out not about my hygiene is about your discomfort with my wardrobe and my shoes. All right. Look we got some we got some comments last episode or we had two episodes last week. Yeah. So we had a handful of comments. We had the discipline episode where we talked about how nothing works our friends Sarge said his three-year-old has been trying to use time. As an escape at dinnertime justing he refuses to eat and he'll still offer to put himself in timeout and sit on his bed to avoid eating. I mean what's happening with this food? Well, what's being said when I was a kid, if you didn't eat your dinner, like my mom would make me stay at the table or just keep it for hours. Like I couldn't watch the wide world of Disney or whatever was on it like seven and you just sit there with the spinach on the plate and then you try to maybe choke it down without gagging we didn't you but namakkal now looks like Sarge's well he Dated timeouts because o because they lost their loophole. Yeah. Well, they lost their potency. Yeah when their son just was like I'll do time right now. You know what that I'll take a timeout. Yeah. It's like it's like how went for for leg when you're a parent and you just want some free time like you're happy to go to the dentist or run errands. You know what that's what the kid was doing. I'll go to dances right now. My kids aren't there. Okay. Wow, so burn Abby. Yeah said that she doesn't think that you have a booming yelling voice. In terms of when you are disciplining your kids, but for some reason she thinks you have a great fear inducing stare. I think that's first of all, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me it makes me feel bad for you pee. No. No, it's a horrible shit showed him. So but what I will say to that is that it's not true because my kids don't even look up but it doesn't mean you don't have a fear inducing stare. They just don't look they can't see I'm like trying to refine it and they don't even know what's happening. They're too busy looking down at whatever. Well the two primary skills. You need are the parent voice and is and the death stare, right? Yeah. We're like if you're in public like at a restaurant you can like I do. I think I have I do one of those you can do that. Yeah, right. Let's get that jaw going. Yeah, right just so we did we did to last week because the week before we didn't have any and Sarah Dawn who I think may be a new subscriber on YouTube was very disappointed. She said her life was ruined that we didn't have Yeah, that was kind of very nice sweet. I'm like, I'm sorry your life is ruined. Yeah, glad that we play such an important role in it. You know what that works out for us. Wow. Yeah, and she spoke a little bit about our birthday. Yeah our birthday episode where she said she likes she's not as enthusiastic about drop-off parties. I think as every single other parent on Earth is yeah, but then she says it's because then she gets forced to take the other kid who wasn't invited to the party like a trampoline or park or someplace else which gets expensive. That's the thing like my kids get real jealous of each other now and if I like if I give one thing to one the other one starts going crazy because he wants to tell ya I mean come on these announcer the Ravelry things a little bit new for me. We should do an episode on siblings. Let's do it do that one down the line. Yeah. And so father stage, we just did a Father's Day. It was obviously just fought yesterday was Happy Father's Day. Thank you. Happy Father's Day to you. Thanks others that are out there, especially all of others. Not the deadbeats though. Yeah those guys the ones that many for something with a dick and make a baby takes a real man to be able to raise his kids. I think Furious style said that in Boyz in the Hood. Okay. Well that's voice that there's a couple of lessons that Furious relays to his child who is eventually played by Cuba Gooding jr. I don't know. I think that was the outside. I think it was just a random lesson he gave him one time but one time he said always always look another man of the I make them respect you. I was remember that the one I think I remember the best was when he taught him the Pythagorean theorem, so The three triangles and I thought that was really sort of meaningful. Is it three triangles are the Pythagorean decides? Yeah, the three sites that yeah a squared plus b squared. You got it. You got it. Okay, so also will so MSP by and said that that she likes Father's day except for it's actually on her birthday. Now that's sucks sucks. It sucks for that. No, that sucks for her husband. It sucks for everybody. It does suck for everybody. But the birthday takes precedence over. Thursday I think well, but her husband is otter they have to decide in advance like who's getting the day? Yeah, because otherwise like his the enjoyment of Father's Day for him is gone because he's got the stress of dealing with her birthday, but the the but it's not it will hold on. Is it always the same date Father's Day? No, I don't think so. Third Sunday a junior nice and sunny June. I think this year it happened to fall but that's still a bummer. It's definitely a bummer but she said as she thinks does think I may be a little You mean to you yesterday? Maybe she was paying some funds to patreon because she wanted me to use the money to get a new co-host but she's insist. That's not the case. She says I don't want P doubt. She wants guests to add to the crazy mix. Yeah, eventually, we'll have some guests take it that extra. My wife is crowing about wanting to be on here. You know, what maybe you should catch it and being my wife. Yeah first. Okay. Yeah, we'll see how really concentrate hot solidify that portion before we start adding podcast guests to the mixing Jesus. All right. So this week we're talking about summer break school is out for summer in just a week for us. I know it's out already for a lot of your kids. Yeah, we're going to get into the pros and cons and cons and cons of that right after this. Let's do it. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Wherever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for Dad and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right, we're back with the summer break episode of the dead and buried podcast. But before we get into that, I think I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that Father's day was yesterday and I saw de me more on an interview with like Barbara Walters or somebody and she used the word remiss wrong think she said Miss. What was this? I would be a mirror was this notion is when she was in like The Scarlet Letter which is like a controversy because she was too hot and dumb for it or something. Wait a second you're pulling Up a reference about Demi Moore. I'll never I've never forgotten the fact that she said I would be amiss. I think that's what she said. I would be remiss if I didn't mention right? I think that's what she said. She definitely meant to say remiss in either used it wrong or use the wrong word and its place. Yeah. There's some my brain works. This is what I'm talking about because I would be remiss you know what you nailed it. If I didn't mention that Father's day was yesterday Happy Father's Day again, Pete. You deserve it. You know, you have more kids than I do you're better at it just in general. You have a better demeanor everything your temper. And is more suited to raising children than mine. You know, what's interesting is that I'm every time I walk in that door I go I go to like a low seven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah glow rage haven't and but yeah, well, thank you and happy Happy Father's Day to you and Happy Father's Day to all belated father's. Well those soda. Did you get any good? It's matching socks that I you know what I got. It was perfect. I got breakfast in bed, which was great eggs toast. This absolutely gross chicken like mint sauce. Is it cool it was so it was a purchased sauce. It was a purchase sausage that was just weird flavors and should not have the some weird sausage flavors out there. There is a bitch Jerry I had to not going to sit here leave it and debate. Oh and they didn't eat the sausage that that wasn't your kids fault didn't buy that menu items. I think that was there was someone else's fault in the house. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but you know what, but I could tell what I won the kids contribution was the largest bowl of yogurt with fruit inside of it that I've ever had to eat. It was like an entire serial or Father's Day can do whatever you want. I know remember it's nationally mandated that your family. That's what you're saying last week that your family celebrate you the way that you want. Do you know that I use that like three times yesterday like as it's a national holiday, I give me some goddamn respect. I would drive a drive down to the barbecue. I was getting some shade and I just was like, it's Father's Day back off you. We were getting some shade from your kids. You weren't like catching some shade. So you didn't get a sunburn. It wasn't using the slang term. Yeah, it wasn't from my kids. It was from my lovely wife or significant other my so it was really shooting here a so and I was like don't do that not today and then the other my other dad friend than I was with we banded together like yeah back off Father's day. You came at your wife together or well they will we were all we were was it what was it you two against each of your wives or was it two on one against? No, no. No, it was us to versus those two and usually when well, they every single time they win. Yeah and every other day and this was 60% of the time and they didn't know what to do when every got 60% there's a movie reference. That's your over to. All right. So I so we had a really busy day on Saturday went to the dyno Field Station dinosaur in New Jersey, which my kids loved and then we went to a concert Death Cab. For Cutie, which was a Band-Aid introduce my wife to when we first met and she has sentimental attachment to it. I don't we went in the opener was a band. We also liked or an artist we also liked so we were really wiped out on Sunday my wife, you know, maybe a little more wiped out than me. She didn't wake up till say like 10:30 11:00. I didn't get a Happy Father's Day to like noon so much so that I thought you was mad at me Oh, I thought she was like purposely what a power move. Maybe it was the Lord works in mysterious ways. So I thought literally thought like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while. Like she's giving me the silent room is like it's not like her to not make Fanfare about holidays even for other people. She loves holidays. She loves celebrating birthdays even other people's and I was waiting for the other shoe to drop where she was just gonna come at me with something that you know, I did in her dream or some shit. I don't know didn't turn out to be the case. It was just real low-key Father's day, which is kind of how I liked it, but It wasn't great. You know it was because they give they got a cool gift from from my kid. I got a six pack of beer. I wanted for my wife. We don't have it were kind of strapped right now. So we're taking these we did the event the night before it was fine, like relaxing all day, but I'll tell you I woke up this morning and it turns out overnight. I got a Father's Day gift from Instagram and the form of a blue checkmark. Wow. Geez. I'm really traditionally verified for a second. I think we can talk about something else that you were getting a present. No, no. Okay. No no come on, but so let's see we were married. 12 years. Yeah, so you got verified that little blue check happen. Yeah, you know what? That means? No, that means I don't even know think I don't think anything some people think it's impressive. I got a couple congratulations. Okay. I did apply for a couple of times it took awhile from who did you get congratulations from I don't remember no one and a couple people message me worth all that were three worth worth. It spelled with an E. I want to hook up on her last name tight. Worth it. 37 said Mazel such a big achievement. You know, that was nice of her somebody else. I was little story. I did an Instagram this morning from the bus stop. I said something about having gotten a blue checkmark and then, you know having forgotten to do something and she wrote to me celebrities. They're just like us I said, no, please don't I'm not a celebrity. No, not yet. Not yet. Not with those not yet. And with those jeans, you know what you know, what a celebrity. Which these are celebrity jeans the kind of jeans it only celebrity can pull off. Okay, that's which is why I'm not pulling them off. Yeah, but I'm saying if I were a celebrity would not be out of bounds for me to wear these jeans. We've seen some of the stuff Lady Gaga. Where's she's a fashion icon and you are have just been verified and it's you know, what Instagram, you know, it's fucking it's right there. We're right in there real next week shot real next to each other that you make sense doesn't matter. Alright, so let's get into the topic. So so it's just Omer I said, I was I did a little strain the way back for my kids but stop the story was about how this was the beginning of his last full week of the year so here in Brooklyn he's got this full week and the next week two days or a day and a half and then we out yeah and then it's just two months a little bit more than two months of just nightmare like I'm unemployed right now, which means I'm at home. Oh my god with these kids. all summer Somebody said to me the same thing is happening to her. And I said that's literally the number one reason. I need to get a job. She said she's unemployed chandeliers. I'm unemployed. I'm half excited and half terrified to be home with the kids, but because of doing home projects and her not bringing in an income from being unemployed. They have no vacations planned. So she needs to figure out some like activities and day trips and stuff and I'm like, I'm in the same boat. I am going to be forced to fill their time. How about can't grandparent? I'm not looking forward to it. Well, we're going to get into that because a couple of people brought up camper. Anchor. How about like Camp? I can't do the same for my grandparents are too old. They prefer the baby of the family. It's a lot more low maintenance. My kids can be pretty high-maintenance now, we'll go there for a few weekends. Maybe use the pool but during the week is the issue. Yeah, right during the week is well. So what happens when what I think in theory the Concept of I find myself thinking. Oh, it's summer. Oh cool. Like I've been trained in you from being a kid you feel like there's less and I'm like really great to be fair at work things. Maybe are a little bit more lacks. Maybe there's summer Fridays that kind of stuff but running on your business. A lot of times summer is a little bit slower. August can be a pretty dead month. A lot of people take vacations, right? But I think that with school I always find myself forgetting that it becomes a scheduling nightmare. Oh, yeah, we've got the kids in In camps, but all of a sudden every week it's different. Oh, yes or somebody said that I have three kids. They're now in three different drop offs at three different time. Megan Brazil says that she's got kids doing Day Camp. She's dreading new schedule. Yeah, right and a lot of times they're in like different camps, which I'll start like for not of you I'm not even saying like your three kids are in different camps. I'm saying like for two weeks your kids are in one camp and then two weeks later. They're in a different campuses different scheduling brother. I have three different camps had a whole three different times. Yeah. This shit is for Real oh and the best is yeah, you're you know, making brecht making sandwiches like oh no, you don't make sandwiches this week because sandwich is a part of the talk and you're like, I got an extra sandwich right now to smash it in my face. So someone mention that so the filling the time is is the challenge right for me because I don't like to do things. I don't I certainly don't like the bring kids places and a lot of people suggested the things that they do to fill time. So funky fee. Our friend said she actually asked her son about his plans and he said he wants to spend a lot of time at the public pool and watch TV all night long. Remember when you were a little kid and like watching TV all night long was exciting. Hey, if you're if you're out all day, why not watch TV as long as you want as long as you're doing something like, you know, I'm not talking about her. I'm done with a little kid. I just wanted a little kid watching TV all night what cares he's out all day. So he deserves a break. Yeah that all day do it, you know having fun. He deserves a break, but just out there in front of a screen. It's called go to bed. Oh good. You've innate yourself. Vineet yourself you rejuvenate your I wish I could it's over for me. I never catch up on anything. I'm never have energy for the rest of my life. So Alicia Leanne Pate. Hope I nailed that said they've been on summer break since the end of May. Let's got to set a lot of people especially down south or middle. We got to stop country. We have to fucking stop getting out of summer break like in May and then going back in fucking law know, it depends it's different because it's too hot the pain. I don't care. It's stupid. But it's the climate based thing. That's why it may be our weight is real date really, it's Memorial Day Labor Day that's been like that. I know but 1820 is your kid out of school yet? And I just made up this your kid out of school yet know exactly so I don't care your what do you understand you're complaining that she gets out in May but you're saying the traditional because the break should be I think it should be the one of the qatar's are the kids you get screwed. They get a we got a full June. What are you talking about screwed? I think it's we were just talking about how bad summer camp is. I'm saying not for us or talking about kids. The kids would be better off if they had June July August off. The parents will be better off if they didn't have any summer break, right? Well, that's be honest, but The worst okay. So now let's say you want to take summer break now you Labor Day which is a major tent pole in the the year. Well, you can't wear white after you know that much. All right. Listen, you can't you schedule your holidays around it's like you usually take a week off. Guess what you can't do it anymore because the kids are going back to school unlike the twenty first of all or not even well so last year we went out again on a cruise the last week of August and I think we missed a couple of days because we're like guess what this is more important than the first day and a half. I'm saying is like you have Arabic Summer and the kids are going back into school and Peak summer, but hold on there mixing but there's Peaks Peak summer it varies by region, which is the whole point of why some guys get out of school and mango back in August. Why are you going to go back in the high heat of August that what is because there's air conditioning in the schools and maybe not every has it at home. This is ridiculous fucking topic. Well, it's really messed up Connecticut. You know, you don't really making sense. What are you talking about? So you don't think it makes sense for different regions to have different absolute schedule are based on the clown. Everyone should just go may you like a fascist. I'll buy ya a little bit of a realist. Are you? Well, you're not talking reality. Okay. Well, why not because I'm talking I'm talking dates up in his pocket and I'm talking all day Labor Day. So someone here was telling me about what their school situations like they said they have a year-round balanced schedule and she said that they just had eight weeks off June and July. Yeah, and then at the end of July they go back to school. Okay. She here we go. And I of you can't Jana we are in the middle of Indiana our school has a balanced calendar kids get eight weeks of summer break from Memorial Day to the engine end of July part of me loves a short break because these people are insane are the part of me wishes. They had more Downs. Time what's your school calendar? Like bicycle is almost exactly like that except. It's the end of June to Labor Day. Right? Right, which is she's in Indiana. There's some fucking reasoning behind it. You're saying it's as dumb as like daylight savings time. Right? Right. I don't know enough about it. I do know that in the South it has something to do with the weather and the Heat But you clearly don't care about people below the Mason-Dixon Line don't unfortunately, I just all I can think about are those beautiful beautiful children and the Beautiful summer vacations that get ruined. I haven't they just get scheduled differently than ours. Do it scheduled now could get out of here. The water is freezing in may not down there. I'm going to North Carolina next week. It'll be fucking like a bath. What are the cape at the end of August not only Jews in my a song that's in June in May when they get out. It's But is not it gets warm there. It starts getting warm in April the water heats up. Do you understand that like this more south you get in this country the warmer it gets because it gets closer to something called the fucking equator. No, I don't understand that because clearly you don't understand. Yeah. You're right you grew up in England. There's no fucking whether it's all it's just all gray and fucking Rain Jesus Christ. What a tangent you brought us on the fucking scheduling. I really got your fucking dander up about that irritates me to no end. Yep. You're a Weird dude, I don't know about that. I think it's just really irritating. That's a whatever. Okay. So we're talking what are we talking about? So with that we're talking about filling time. I'm not I don't know if I'm ever gonna get over that filling time. So at padovan says season membership has to be museums and amusement parks are a godsend then then he or she says we also go to the beach at least once a week kill yourself bringing kids that like, I like being at the beach. The beach it's just it's kill yourself slang phrase. Okay, I'm not being sincere. I don't know you I don't know if I want to die. No, no, but what are you reacting to the beach? Yes going to the beach for a week or two the beach. No, she says once a week. I'm we've established that I don't like Logistics right pack and shit bringing ship carrying to the beach having a park and then walk into the fucking sand all you have all this gear. Then there's sand in everything and in your car. I hate it. Give me a little any day. So you're gonna I'm Going to the beach a bunch of this summer. I'm just saying I hate it. You're gonna keep your family from going to the beach and having the head. Yes said, I'm not gonna do that. I'm nothing. If not a martyr. I will bring my family to the beach and complain me and good. I'm good. Finally. That's what a good dad does. That's true. You have to be disgruntled. So your family knows and how much you're doing. Would you look at that truck you're sacrificing. Oh and the traffic hmm summer traffic. Summer beach traffic I do my best to avoid void the traffic but I am not a big fan that's not it's scary to suddenly be stuck in the middle of traffic no end in sight. You know what I realized about traffic. It's I don't care if everyone stopped but what is absolutely soul-destroying as when someone's gonna see someone going in your stop that like if you're the last person that gets stopped at like an accident it would know if you're stopped in any Lane and there's a laying right next to the any switch and that lane stops them and it just Pull the string. So Stephanie kenderson listen to this fucking list of shit. She does to fill her days with her kids Library Splash Pad Day Camp jump and bounce which I assume is like a yeah Monkey Joe's. Yeah Bounce University Road Trips Farmers Market lunch at Grandma's lunch at Grandma's all before lunch at Grandma's. I'm assuming there's a various things. She does to fill different days lunch at Grandma's can't fill all that much time, though. Well she Makin. I mean that sounds like roasted pig. That sounds fun for the kids. But man that sounds exhausting see that's funny. So I said I made a comment here that sometimes just doing anything with kids like they're easy marks sometimes and they just want to get out of the house and you do something with them and they'll be like excited by like doing some dumb shit then they get a little older and they realize like shoe shopping is not exotic. This isn't going to be fun for me right doing the grocery store kind of loses its luster so Holly underscore ham and five who comments a fair amount we mentioned her before. I think this is something a lot of moms feel. She says I'm the fun like she's responsible for entertaining her kids swim Beach Parks, and she said I'll do a swim. That's not actually one thing although a swim Beach Park sounds pretty fucking sweet. She says they swim they go to the beach they go to parks and she said this is when she started day drinking just like doing all that mindless crap. Yeah with your kids. Yeah, you gotta this is what I'm scared of going to the playground the park. I don't want to do that. I can just imagine just in your hot apartment. Sitting with your children and then all you're doing is just yelling at them to stop running around when all you have to do is just so let much screen time, right and by the end of it, they're like rage monsters. Yeah, like at the end of the summer because it is like changes their brain waves that makes them miserable. You're 10 times a rage monster there. Oh, yeah, no by like day three. It's just a fucking cycle. But this is all the different stuff you have to do like you said like get up Angelita said, I hate all of it, except a few days here and there when my parents take the kids. Kids otherwise she's like they're at an age where I just don't really like them that much especially when they're together. My kids are like that too, like butting heads like crazy either. We got to get him out of the house to burn some energy, but take him out of the house a huge pain in the ass the suntan lotion the suntan lotion. Well putting it on. Yeah, that's what I'm saying about the beach man. Oh not just the beach anywhere anytime they go out you get it when it's actually that's only if you really care what your kids huh? I forgot about that, but then there's camp right? There's the actual. Roll, we're not doing Camp. Obviously. I'm unemployed. So, it's Dad Camp, which is what I'm not looking forward to I know but I know your wife will put on a hell of a mom camp, but why don't you just find you go to spray ground? Let's say this is her a grounds of like what like Brooklyn Bridge Park. Yeah look broken bracelet will see this is what I'm gonna have to do playground that has water. Yes. Yeah, there were I know where a few of them are. There's one right near us. My kid will just run back and forth tenza then I gotta break it up bring them places. This is the problem to pay attention so camp It's really expensive especially in the city. You know, somebody here felly Devi who lives in Brooklyn says she can only afford Camp twice a week for half a day. Yeah, right like they're it's expensive right the rest of the time she stuck with the kid. That's so expensive, you know, which gets to be a lot. I don't care who I'm stuck with. I could be stuck with Jesus and he'd be annoying after a couple of days. Right? Just let me eat him fucking buttin heads and you be like wine no IPA. Yeah exactly. All you can do is just the wine to my 90-minute so but a lot of Will do to the camp thing. I somebody at my bus stop. I asked him when he was doing this summer. And he said his daughter goes to fucking sleep away camp for six weeks. Yeah. She's eight. I'm like, my son would never do that in a million years. I couldn't even hack it when I was a kid. As I said last week in the Father's Day episode. I was too young but that's amazing. It must be such a vacation. Super Tressa says Sleepaway Camp, even for just one week. It is love it is are you doing that your kids doing that done? Yes. Oh God. I wish I'd got older one. Old one is done to what so the 11 year old is done to Sleepaway Camp having the eight eight year old do Sleepaway Camp this year with a friend they got to do with a friend? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't do it with a friend. Yeah, I learned last week. There we go. And then that is them into it. But my oldest is doing a month away amazing insert. Oh congratulations. Yeah. Say that with all sincerity. Yeah. I'm happy for you. She's nervous. But I think she's take your life back P. You know what? I'm really worried about. Worried about that. She's going to come back and just be like kind of older all-knowing and just like starting to hate that you don't like your text. The way you have done is that this is garbage and never depart rewiring things and just for that be awesome. Yeah. Well wouldn't be like Bob Vila know she's gonna start know she could start like taking over. She's like a DIYs or he's already I know the situation, you know, she's already started already there. I mean she is we've raised of course, it's probably it's not going to be long before she files for like emancipation from you and your mom. Yeah. Well then take all of our money. She's been living in like an apartment in the village exactly hundred percent. That's what I'm saying. She's gonna not have to him. She's just going to wheels are going to start turning. Well, that's the problem. We're sending it to a corporate mergers and Acquisitions. So listen to this shit, right? So Stanford mommy who is a funny mommy more on Instagram who I've known we've interacted a handful of times over the years Connecticut gal. She said that she's selling her keep sending her kids to summer camp. She might actually sell one of the kids to pay for it. But listen to this story she said, In February in February in Connecticut, I assume the Stanford area since her name is Stanford. Mommy, she waited outside on a line at 4 a.m. At 4 a.m. In February to sign her kid up for one of the 20 kindergarten / for the only affordable camp in Fairfield County in Connecticut. She said when she got there at 4:00 a.m. In February there were already 17 people ahead of me who got there at 2 a.m. This is not fucking Black Friday, which is reprehensible. In and of itself, this is February. What's that? Five months before Camp? You gotta know you gotta get your shit together. How long is the camp for said one guy went to his car to warm up and try to get back in his spot after and he almost got killed by The Angry Mama like he was like hold my spot. I'm going to go in my car. So I don't fucking die or like lose a limb from frostbite and they wouldn't let him back in. Hey. Guess what? It's like one of those Hands on a Hardbody competition the exact hand on the truck to win it. Yeah. She said they had hand warmers one guy brought a tiny fire pit to keep him warm. Warm people do not mess with summer camp here. I said, holy shit. She told me that story and I responded I said, holy shit. She said yeah by the way sign up started at 9 a.m. They got there for some people are too she said when she got to work she made her boss take a vodka shot with her. Wow, like at 10 a.m. And I like normally you'd be like no, but she'd been up since 4:00. She gets to work six hours in I could see that being like I'm taking a shot. It's not 10:00 a.m. To me and I bet you the war. I'm kind of interested in that Dynamic that I said employee Dino me a mutant shot with music what I said, this is the worst story I've ever heard. Yeah that that is pretty Hornets Camp worth it year. I guess you'll tell me when your daughter gets home from a month. It definitely is worth it. I mean, she's done she's done. It sounds like a nightmare leap away, but but you got On it. You definitely have to be on it. Yeah, I'm not good at being on stuff when you're on my wife is so the Guerra 8 over pronounce that right. So she says in this is this is reminds me of my kid, right? She said her son has cancer so he can't do much right my son thankfully doesn't have cancer but she says he has kids but he can't do much but the clinic has a Sleepaway Camp, but he won't go it's the only thing he can do because the limitations of having cancer and he won't do it. My kid won't do shitty. They like he doesn't like to do anything. He has Visions in his head of just sitting around playing fucking video games. All summer, right? Like if we have like a lazy Sunday, which we do sometimes like yesterday because we were out late on Saturday. He knows he's getting away with murder like in terms of screen time. We're in bad. We don't we don't give a shit. That's what he thinks is gonna happen just like summer for the whole summer and we can't allow that to happen that just creates a goddamn monster. But then again, I'm pretty lazy. Yeah, that's the balance that you strike his apparent like something that's good for you in the short term could really damage your kid. Yeah. Like the rest of life and you gotta do something that's negative for you in the short term to make sure your kids end up better people. Yeah, like doing drugs around them. Yeah, right let them know scare them straight just get blacked out drugged out in front of them. So they're like, I don't want to be that guy that guy or just you know, where ripped jeans or whatever. Yeah, what a fucking traumatic experience. I also an individual sense of style. Yeah. Okay. Well, so yeah, no. No, so yeah Dad Camp if you Aunt we're Dad or not. We're doing little dad and mom Camp. Oh, so this was interesting to me Berkshire Love Letter says I homeschool because I'm fucking insane and then says enjoy my regular life Breakers yelling at all. The people who have summer break we're now going to experience what they experience but but your summer for homeschool kids. Is there a break or there is a around know that I'm sure there's a break where they're just they're at home. They're just not in the room that they doesn't need is so Berkshire. I'm going to guess she's a woman just because 84% of my followers. Women as we established, but I don't know for sure. So she's not really speaking. Like she's just saying I'm going to deal with some of the same way. I deal with kind of the school year. I'm used to it in a way that you guys aren't she's in your face. She's yeah. She's kind of glad that all of us have to now deal live her life, right? But she still has that shitty shit happening in the summer too. Yeah, but that's all she got. She's like something it's like having more kids you just it's her one way to look down on everybody but good for her. Wow. Yeah throwing stones at Berkshire love letters. Well, I mean, I don't know what she's going to do. What are you gonna do? What do you do for can't maybe you should send them to Camp. Well, she wolf 214 who I know lives in the Brooklyn area. She says she stocking up on liquor to prepare for summer break which comes down for us again that were early next week. And yeah, I mean any parent that doesn't have you got to do some kind of stress reliever in the house at all times whether it's summer break or not. You're struggling you're going to fail. Yeah Millie Bosch. 84 says she dreads hearing them say I'm hungry and I'm bored. Non-stop, I'm hungry. Give them something to eat. I'm bored. Give him something to do with worries over over and over over response to only boring. People are born only boring. People are were no it's when I'm hungry is like, oh well have some have some of these have a yogurt definitely don't want that. No, but have some free thought your favorite response was Dad. I'm hungry to say nice to meet you hungry. I'm dad. No, that's the classic dad joke. I don't do that shit either. I don't I don't do that. What I do do is I go do do you said do do what I do? He said it again tight I make them eat the yogurt. That's what I did. I'm just fucking for sit down there. Gullet water boredom with yogurt. Yeah heat the other wood and then I make him a cereal bowl size full of yogurt with all this fruit in it. That's just mystery free making you're making me nauseous. I know what mystery fruit what's mystery fruit and I was like a melon in there. It was like no there's no Business Mellon had no business, but I don't know a lot about yogurt. There's no melon yogurt yogurt. Get your shit together. You do melon yogurt if you want they do everything literally, that's no lie saying there's no like tropical fruits in yogurt. There is a strawberry. So why is it insane? Well, because melon is really a gross that would be a gross flavor. You're my brother has a friend who they were like at my house and my brother said, hey, man, you want some cantaloupe and his friend goes cantaloupe. That's not cantaloupe. That's melon. The whole story. Wow, I didn't know the word cantaloupe was the joke you really you really grew up in an exciting household. It sounds like you know is a friend we brought over my brother brought over tiger not tiger would somebody was just said like that actually could be so here. Is it an extra piece of frustration that happens to me in my house, right? So during the summer the sun sets later the days are longer that right about so Shimmer it says she dreads bedtime because her kids can hear the neighborhoods and neighborhood kids playing outside. Which is something I dealt with as a kid. Sometimes CR Wilkinson says it stays late so late light out so late. They never go to sleep. That's like nine o'clock and you're like no, it's not the hammer when we're trying to put him to bed will be like the sun's up and like literally like, you know, what who cares. It's not go to bed Hammer. It's not up. Don't worry about it. I don't I certainly don't give a shit. Yeah about whether this Sun is up from your perspective or not. It's like an eight o'clock big little lies as a coming on. Well, the other thing is that also till 9:00. You get the other end to where the sun rises at five in the morning and everyone's like oh well. Oh, no, I've been dealing with that for weeks. Yeah, they gotta get up. They get up at 5:00. They come in the bed. They argue. I'm wide awake by 5:30 angry. It's not a lot if we do block out you put these. Yeah. I know you've mentioned it before like the hotels got curtains. I got to do it because I can't have these kids something about putting a chain on the on the door. So I can't just lock the door then the rattling in the yelling. Yeah, well, then little spacers little like cushion spacers really deaden the sound so you're so you're traveling a little bit when school ends, correct? We yeah, we've got a couple we're going to add on a couple will go to the beach for a little while Beach where the Jersey Shore we're going to North Carolina where our friends very generous friends. Let us crash at their beach house for a week. Yeah. Not not the Outer Banks but a different part of the the North Carolina coast. Yeah. My kids are really excited. I love it. I love summer. someone stuck a nine-hour drive Yeah, that 10 plus was stops. Well, you're not you're no stranger to 10 hours. Yeah, and we do it a lot. Well last time we went to South Carolina. This is a little bit closer. Yeah, but yeah, let's miles on that car. Ya know we're coming up on a hundred. Yeah, you got to watch out for it. No not these day that this day and age. Yeah, you can get over a hundred pretty easy. Well, do we do we do everything I would summer we got everything? I don't know. Did we? Yeah. Yep. Yep, no root. Yeah exactly. So I think we got it. So, yeah, so thank you. You know what paper? Thank you for sharing us with us today. Well, you know what? I'm verified now, so you should thank me the end of every episode. Okay? Okay. Thank you Nate. You should too. Okay, so we should shoot you're in the presence of greatness. Is there a greeting that we should do your eminency? Okay. Got it. Would it be your eminency or your eminence? Let me think. Oh, you know what? I don't give a shit. So I think it'll be whatever the whatever the hell I turn tables have turned in terms of who's being more mean to whom you know. Once we got my second wind now so good good thing you saved it for the end. All right, guys, we'll be back. Sober subscribe comment. Watch YouTube. We need some ratings five stars and some reviews on iTunes check out the merchant cash on patreon to go to the merch shop that spreadshirt.com dead and buried was that right? Yeah. Wow, and I do want to just say I want to say thank a special. Thank you fucking all of us that shit right there all of our patrons and everyone who's following us. Thank you so much. We really really do appreciate. And we love having this conversation and God more than anything. I think we just love shitting on our kids. Mmm. I really enjoy so good after this. Do you it's like cathartic. Yeah, it really is and I do it all the time. I might blog and Instagram so this is just same old shit for me. Yeah you why I'm so good at it because those memes they just flow through. You know, what you like mocking my knees. You know what it's called fucking verified tight. Somebody likes my memes. It's whoever the name of the person who owns Instagram is besides Mark Zuckerberg. And look at you. You've done a good job, but somebody saw a photo of me and I made a joke about how some people think. I look like Paul Rudd. Yeah, and he said you look more like Mark Zuckerberg and I just deleted my account. You just walked away. Yeah, that's it little match. That's good. I verified guess what? Does it matter? Shut it all down. Yeah. It just totally cancelled other verification is being told. I look like Mark Zuckerberg guys like a fucking robot. Okay hours ago lizard. All right, we don't need to we don't need to get into it that much. So, oh I'm so you're scared of the wrath of like a burger defines a podcast. I feel like wow. Alright. Oh man you really? Yeah. I think I really awakened something and yeah, you did I think so. No, but we're we'll we'll get into it. We're going to do some more topics coming up we're going to do some more topics. And so the people want to hear we're going to get into it we're going to do we're going to do getting help from nearby faint like free help family. I am living your family siblings stuff. I think we got to do we both have siblings. Our kids have siblings will deal with that shit. Let us know. Yeah any other topics on question, please anyway anywhere you want them? All right. That's the way you gotta see it.
🎶Schools out for summer! 🎶 A phrase at one time filled your heart with the excitement of endless possibilities that lay ahead. Now that you have a kid, there's nothing but dread at the time and expense of all of those aforementioned possibilities. Mike and Pete cover all the 'cons,' completely bypassing any 'pros'. Let's face it we're not here for that. -------------------------- Moms and Dads, WE NEED YOU! This show and these dank memes won't feed our families (we've tried). We need your support to keep this up. We love making this stuff for you guys and we're putting this out there so see if we can make the switch so that this can be more than a hobby 🙏 (that our families hate). 