Hey friends, I would just like to quickly share with you about how I'm making this podcast and how you can potentially make your own podcast. So I'm using anchor which is a free platform in this creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer. Then anchor will also distribute your podcast for you. So you can be heard on Spotify a podcast and many more. Well, the only thing you need to do is download the free anchor up or go to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. Good luck and have fun.and Alright, so here we are. Finally. I'm so excited. This is happening to I have my beloved and a banana here all the way from the Netherlands and I'm so glad to have met you in my life. And I think it's so important that you as a person who has been around quite a lot over the past years or so. So, yeah, you've been around you've been everywhere and you've made a lot. Friends that I can see and then you've met a lot of people that have not actually become friends, but you've got to know a lot of people in general. Yeah, I'll put it that way. So I think for this to begin nicely why don't you introduce yourself a little bit because I I know I know you but what about other people? What are you going to tell someone that you literally just met by yourself? And what's really important in your journey that kind of like shapes you for who you are now exactly. So I'm Anna. As I've already said I'm 23 years old. I'm from the Netherlands. I grew up in the area of Amsterdam, which is where I spend most of my life. So I did my bachelor's there and then I decided that was time for some change and I decided to take a gap year travel to Asia for a couple of months and then I decided to move to Sweden to pursue my masters and it's a part of my monsters. I'm currently on Exchange in Australia. So I think having Can't say I've been around quite a bit. And so that is like my journey so far in a nutshell, I guess. Hmm, and yeah, definitely along the way I met a lot of great people not so great people as well. I guess that's always a part of the deal. But yeah, so I would definitely like try to encourage everyone to you know, take that step into like go out and explore and travel a lot as well because of things That a lot of people tell me usually he's like, oh, you're so lucky that you get to do all of that or I'm really jealous. But I do think that you know, like you can do that as well. Like of course everyone has their own life circumstances and you know just issues but I do think that a whole different life or like traveling throughout your life is only a couple of decisions away. So I think that's definitely something I would like to share with everyone which is been such a big part of my journey like traveling in Was bein so that's definitely a like something. I would love to share with others like to encourage them to do that as well. Okay interesting. So I think we've talked about so many things overall long condos on the beach or not, but I think it's so important that I've realized how important traveling is to you. Yeah, because you've also told me about how you changed after traveling and you've seen things. So you've seen people and then you've learned a lot and grow as well. Exactly. So how does that work in terms of growth? Because obviously before you start traveling you're a different person now, you're also a different person. So in terms of your journey, what is the one thing in that growth that kind of shapes you'd for who you are now and why is it so important that everybody should travel? I think you're just like changes your view on the world. A lot of people I think as well because he met so you meet so many different people around the world like really different backgrounds and I think it just makes her world a lot brother. I think when you're in the same place for a long time, you you tend to be around the same people and you're like you tend to do the same things over and over again, and I think they're you kind of like stagnated your growth if that makes sense. So I feel like if you go out and you meet different people with really different mindsets and really different values you just Let you take some some of that with you and it becomes part of you and you take that like Yahweh. And I think that's really one of the major things that helped me grow just to see different perspectives and things. Yeah, I would say that is like the main the main thing but maybe also on friendships actually cuz apart from the places you go to I think the most important thing is like the people you share the experiences with And I think my previous idea friendship was really built around like spending a lot of time together. And so obviously I can't do that with my friends at home right now because I'm always a way but I think it's not about spending time to get there at all, but actually about like what just like kindness throughout your relationships and it doesn't really matter in which geographic location these friendships are because you can it's really easy to maintain your friendships in a different way if you want to I just letting people know like you're thinking about them or like random acts of kindness. I would say and not necessarily about like spending time together, which is definitely how I used to think about friendship. I guess. Mmm. That is so true. I think that's really relatable for a lot of people because maybe we don't necessarily travel around the world, but we travel from City to city and exactly it doesn't have to be a giant tree we live away from home and we live away from our Childhood friends and whatnot. Exactly. So I think that is a really interesting topic because I love friendship. I love you. I love you. Yeah, so I think yeah, that's something that we can maybe delve into today. Yes. Yes. Yeah, a lot of our relationships are built around friendship anyway, and yeah, I know we have family but friends are more like the family we choose exactly. So how do you deal with long-distance friendship when you travel so much and then over the past two years? You haven't actually been home exactly. So it's it is right has been really hard in the beginning. Let's put it that way because I was a bit scared that you know, you might lose some friends or like loosen the depth from your friendships if that makes sense. But then the funny thing is that that didn't happen at all. Like I feel like I'm actually closer to Friends right now because because you might focus on being a better friend maybe could because you don't get to spend that time together. So I feel like you know, I really try to make the best of my friendships whenever I can and like as I said, if you like these random acts of kindness are like really important. I tried to send my friends cards whenever I can for like birthdays or big defense and stuff like that just to like let them know I'm thinking of them and I do know I'm missing certain like, you know, big life decisions out there. Making right now like buying houses and stuff like that, which is really sad that I'm missing out on that. But then on the other hand, I feel like you know, I do get to support them really well, even from from a distance and even though I'm not like physically there. I feel like it just doesn't really matter that much as long Yeah, it's you're still there and some other way if that makes sense. Yeah, really? So yeah, that's definitely how I like to Yeah, I keep my friendships in place and it hasn't been hard at all. And I think if you do have a hard time like, you know, keeping your friendships and check they might not be like proper friendships actually because I feel like at the point you start worrying about, you know, whether you're going to damage his friendship or like even lose it. I feel like it's just not a true friendship. So I don't feel like traveling like damaged any of my friendships. That I established like earlier in my life, but then I also just met a lot of new people that like became my best friends and I'm sure they will continue to be my best friends throughout her like over the over my life. Yeah. That is so sweet. And you're definitely one of you baby. Well, I don't know that. Yeah everyone it was known but I think that is nice. The way you put friendship into perspective. Yeah sure you travel, but I also think to put it in a broader sense. It also can be how you kind of like. Put your life into perspective if that makes sense. Because when you travel you kind of re-evaluate your relationships for me personally that yeah what happened as well because I moved all the way here and then I'm like, okay what's going to happen with me and the relationships at home? Exactly and then I realized oh, so these are the people that I am actually close to and these are the people that I'm not really close to but it's nice to check in from time to time. And obviously for friendship is the same like we were I don't have to worry about losing. The Friendship because we are good friends. So I think in terms of friendship we've touched on that and that's well pretty much everything that I would say really relatable to everybody. Yeah, but what you're saying is really relatable to actually because I do feel like you know, once you take that step away from from your smaller world that you're living in like you definitely put things into perspective and realize oh, this is actually not working for me and this is really working for me and I think that's really Beautiful to because some from some friendships not work for you. And that's okay too. Not necessarily a bad thing, I guess and you know people change as well like you do to all the time. So yeah, I guess it's not that big a deal. I've like some sometimes you do actually lose a friend one of my friends actually once told me this saying that for like every New really good friend that you get like you kind of lose one as well. And I think of what when she first told me that I was like that's so not true because like you keep meeting new people like pretty much every day and like of course not all of them become very close friends, but I don't feel like for everyone I meet I kind of loose, you know contact with someone but like at some point I was like this is kind of true because I feel like you can only have so much close friends, you know, because you can't have 30 of them because that's that's going to be really Really hurting? Yeah, that's gonna be really really high to check on them. Exactly. And like, of course you can have a really big like broader friend group, but then your close friends. Yeah for your close friends. If you like that saying is pretty accurate like you can only have so many of them. Yeah. Yeah, that's true because I think for friendship when you're really far away from each other kind of like stops how frequent you used to communicate. Yeah, but I also feel like it does. Have to be every day. It doesn't have to be all the time. But sometimes it was just check-in. Let's say a month or so and there was no good because we are what's happening in each other's lives. And I think that the nice thing as well is that when you have a really good friendship, you're not really worried about being blamed for not sharing something. I don't think so because you're on the road and then you have things happening and so much to deal with you're overwhelmed and if that's a good friendship than the other person will not blame you for not sharing. At that moment exactly. Yeah, I totally I totally agree on that and I feel like if you're in a good friendship, you don't have to talk to each other every day. Not at all. Like what I do with my like my close friends in the Netherlands. We just sometimes we don't talk for like two weeks or so, but then we would like plan a time to have a call and then we call her like two hours and then the same thing happens like we don't talk to each other for like two weeks or three weeks and then like it happens all over again. So like we update each other really like Sensitively and then it's gonna quiet which is fine because then you know your daily life goes on and everything and then you're just doing their thing and then you're kind of sharing it later. And I know that might sound a bit weird because sometimes you do want to share things in a moment, right, but I do feel like the smaller things that I would like to share in the moment is what I do it like friends that are into same geographic location and then like yeah with friends that are way I would rather like, you know, update them at some point like Like whenever because I feel like if you plan a time and you sit down and you talk to your friends, you know, that's all that matters in that moment is your is your friend and like, you know talking to each other and I feel like if you're just going about your day and then you're like, you know texting a lot of people at the same time. You might not really take the time to properly talk to each other like you might not have your full attention for that person and I feel like that's one of the major reasons why I like You know have just major update every once in a while and I feel like that works really well or at least it has been working really well for me in the past years. That's great. Yeah, that was really great. Okay. So I think this is really interesting. It's just pops into my mind. I'm thinking about how you have been all over the place. Let's put it that way and you you've made a lot of new friends. Yeah over the past two years I'd say, right? So then you have your close group of friends back home and then you have new friends and you're constantly on the road. So what about your new friends? Because you know for for new friendship, sometimes it's you have to take the time to nurture it and check in on each other get to know each other even that's what we are doing now and what it was still getting to know each other's I like their best friend in the world because well, it's pretty new as well. Exactly. So then this might even help us in the future. So what are you going to do when? You move from one place to another but you still want to keep the friendship without knowing whether you're going to meet each other again in the next year or so because it might be you be living in separate countries for the rest of your lives. Perhaps you're not going to be the exact same case with everybody but it might happen. So in that case, how do you plan to maintain the friendship or what do you think is going to help you with a friendships? So first of all, I think it's always like a two-way thing. So sometimes you really want to keep this friendship, but then the other person might not want you as well. So first of all, I think it's really like a communal thing, you know, like you both have to work on it. I think if it's a pretty new friendship and you moved to a different place, it's really important to like nurtured a bit more because you know what I said what I do with my friends and melons and every friends make for a really really long time like that does not necessarily apply to new friendships, I guess because you know, you might have to invest a bit more. She said like you still want to get to know each other so I feel like a More frequent can't talk. I have these moments. Sometimes it is just way too excited about this topic. That's why you're right. But anyway, I think more frequent contact is important if you're, you know newer friendship, and I do feel like you know if you want to Be at the same place at some point like you can totally make that work. So yeah, I would just say like take care of their friendship and then everything's going to be fine. But yeah, I guess the same thing applies that where you you know, you won't talk to each other that often maybe at some point, especially one like big things are going on, but I feel like it always kind of comes back you might have this period which is really stressful like I mean, I know this is going to happen for me when I'm running my master thesis. I know at some point I'm going to be You know, that's all I focus on and then but then you know when you when things are like more chilled out like I guess you pick it up again, and I guess that's kind of how it how it goes with every friendship that you have that's in a different location. Hmm. That makes sense. But how does that work for you? Because I mean the same thing kind of works for you. I guess. Well, I guess you live in a different country to yeah, it's not just me here. That's right. I do. Live in another country and I've made friends that from that are from other places that are not necessarily living here anymore. Yeah. And so what's your experience with that? Like do ya did you keep the friendship? Yeah, of course. Yeah. I mean I do get that you don't really have the luxury of checking in with each other all the time. Exactly. Especially when your friends aren't really the people who enjoy texting. Yeah, and as we call it the not the So yeah, yeah definitely some one of them but I love colleagues. Yeah, absolutely. I love calling to like I used to love texting. I used to love tasting and then I had this image in my mind that everybody has got to love texting. But yeah, that's what I thought too. Because easier. Yeah, I just thought you know what it's so good. It's so like if you know, yeah, but then yeah, you know friendship changes me as well because then I realized oh no Everybody enjoys the same thing and that's the nice thing about friendship. You make it work even though you're not the same exactly. So then I realize oh, so there are a couple of my friends who aren't really the kind of people who text all the time. But who would rather give like voice messages or giving me a call? So then I realized okay, so I'll make it work as well because now sometimes especially okay, for example, an example can be I spent a lot of time on public transport I commute all the time. And so that time is basically my time to talk to my friends. But because I don't want to bother other people. Yeah, you would I text. Yeah, right, but then I realized but my friends miss me and they want to hear my voice for example, or they prefer to talk on the phone and Cole rather than texting all the time because it takes so much time and then yeah, like have the gaps in between exactly. It's not like a proper conversation. Yeah, exactly. And so I thought okay, so I'm going to make it work on the one hand. I'll still message them from time to time but on the Other hand I'll make the time to give them a coal for check-in properly with a coal at home so might not necessarily be on public transport. But then yeah, I'll make it work with my friends back home. That's what I've been doing. I don't have a lot of time to call them because yeah because I try to do as much as I can during the day for my personal world, so I don't have a lot of time to call them which at first they were kind of upset about it even my family. But then now that they understand what it is that I'm doing and then why am I doing the things that I'm doing exactly they understand and they just agree to call whenever I'm free and then there was this one point me and my best friend we were talking about how we don't communicate in the same way. So she would give me voice messages and I would text her saying that I can't because I'm on the train. I'm on the tram. I don't want to bother other people and so we kind of agreed that you know. If you have something that's really important. Give me a call and if that's a missed call or call you right back and then yeah, it's been working and I think it's a nice change to our friendship as well because we tend to We tend to wait for each other, but now we don't wait anymore and we just kind of like be proactive in our friendship and just kind of like, okay now I need to talk to you. I'm going to call you if it doesn't work now, then we'll call later. Exactly but I think I like the aspect that you mentioned that proactiveness is. Is really important too because I feel like if one person is not like the other one might lose it as well. And then I think that is also where the cycle isn't it it really is it really is sorry. Yeah, that's also what I said earlier like it's such a two-way thing and especially like if both parties are proactive your friendships always going to be fine. Yeah, or wasn't a proper friendship to begin with I really easy. Yeah. Okay. So that was really nice I think and The idea for this podcast is for you to kind of share your ideas on the world. And what do you think about when you think about the war on yourself and what's important to you? So I think the nice thing to begin this very podcast is that you talk about friendship and I talked about friendship because that is so important to both of us, right and that's not something that necessarily would be mentioned to world leaders. That's my initial idea. Yeah, then we don't have to talk about it because this is more like for day-to-day conversation and what are you going to talk about? Out and when you talk to other people, what is your message? So your message is pretty clear as a two-way conversation is it's got to come from both sides. But then yeah wherever you are. Yeah, but then now for example if there's a person in this room who is not a good friend necessarily. Yeah, and who's trying to be a better friend then what would you say to the person to help the person become a better friend that's such a hard question, but it is but they cannot do You feel that? Yeah, but also depends on like what makes the person like not that good of a friend if you get what I'm saying? Yeah, because that could be due to a lot of different things I guess, but maybe I think first of all it's important to reflect on why you think of yourself as a bat friend or that is maybe not the right word but no good friend exactly because you might have this idea of yourself like I am I'm not that good of a friend right now, but it might also be that you know, all your friends don't actually perceive you that way if that makes sense. So I feel like it's also important to just take a moment to reflect on how they might see you because they might see as a really good friend and not as a not so good friend. But what I think is really important in like adult friendships is too. Well just like talk to people when you think of him that He works for me because as I said, I don't have like these are really, you know, I don't talk to my friends that often like texting her anything so I don't have it like a specific moment where I'm like as you have like in to train for example where I'm like no, I'm going to text my friends because I don't commute that much so like to me that doesn't really apply but I feel like sometimes just walking the street and then I like just thought pops up about my friend and then I just like check-in. So I think that is definitely really good. NG to do because I feel like that, you know gives you this more frequent contact I guess and it's such an easy thing to do like just checking in with someone so I guess but then again like it kind of comes back to why you think you're not that good of a friend like if I say if you have anger issues, that's a whole. I don't know everything you know, so it's really it's a little bit hard to give like, you know a broader advice to someone who Who thinks of themselves in such a way because it really depends on like the underlying issue. That's a shame that it makes sense. But let's say if you have anger issues count to 10. Yeah before you say anything to your friend exactly exactly and maybe also, you know, if you don't feel like like talking to someone in the moment don't do it, like wait and like yeah do it when you when you're in a better state of mind. Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah, I think the reason I ask that question is because not because I want to look for a specific answer and giving me oven. That's a good friend. Not at all. I'm just thinking because you said you got to evaluate yourselfers. So I think that is so important. Yeah, because you don't know if you're a bad friend. Exactly don't know if you're a not so good friend. Oh, you don't even know if you're a good friend either. So exactly. Yeah. The key thing I would say like you said is to kind of evaluate yourself. In your friendship and talk to the person as well. So be open. Yeah, but also like yeah, you can totally talk to your friends about it. But I think you also kind of like know if you really, you know, try to analyze it because you can just like evaluate someone else's Behavior as well which probably has a lot to do with your behavior. So, you know, if your friends are not really checking in on you it's probably because you're not really doing that either so I guess you know that that's like the two iced. So yeah, I guess it's just important to evaluate. You ate where you're at like what your friends are doing and like look at the behavior and then you know think of like whether you're actually not so good friend or whether you're just being really good friends. But yeah, you gotta you taking yeah, so I think that is interesting because I brought up this question knowing that I've had so many bad friends in my life, but I'm also not sure if It was a good friend to them either. So having that answer too kind of like evaluate the friendship and what I've done how I communicate with them is also important. So yeah, that's a really good point that you made but also I think that you you said something earlier about losing a friend and making a friend. Yeah, and now we're talking about good and bad friends. I think everything is really interrelated as well because you don't know what a good friend is until you've had one if you know what I mean. Because what happened to me, I don't know if this has happened to you, but what if what has happened to me that I've realized a lot about friendship is that I try my best to make the Friendship work and I think that is a really really good friend of mine and I try my best but then to the point where things just kind of like fall apart and I have I have new friends and then I'm just really surprised at how good they are as human as friends and then I reflected on my previous. Friendship and I realize oh so that friendship didn't work for a reason because now I have such good friends and I realized that is a good friend and the other person the other friendship was not a good relationship. And now I know it was not my fault because I tried my best but sometimes it happens. It is really about perspective and I think it's got to happen as you grow as well it I think this happens to everybody regardless of where you come from how old you are. I think it always Evans yeah, everything's are only absolutely and I also think if you have a bad friend like it's some point it's going to be really hard for you to keep investing and in that friendship and then you might you know have to think about is this friendship even working for me and I feel like if you're if you surround yourself with like people they will become good friends because you know, your boat like have the same goal in mind like you both want to like make this friendship grow. So I feel like that will so it gives you a lot of like positive energy to work on that friendship as well. Yeah, I think you know being in a really bad friend or not necessarily really bad, but just a bad friendship is going to be really tiring for you as well because you think you lose some of your energy or like motivation to work on that friendship which might then also reflect on other friendship. So, you know that case is not that bad to lose a friend. I guess, you know, it's not like you have to like cut someone out of your life, but you can actually reflect on whether friendship is working for you or not. And then if you surround yourself by other people then that will definitely make you a better friend as well just because they are and that's where the two way street goes in again. Awesome. There we go. It comes down to one thing. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah. Yeah. So yeah try to make friends and try to keep your friends by making an effort and you should know that. Yeah, you should always remember that as a two-way street. Yeah. Exactly. Yay, which is why we're such good friends. Yay. There we go. I love it. Me, too. I love you. I love you nicely and now we'll get a room. All right, Jokes Aside. Thank you for listening.
Recorded live in Melbourne CBD, Australia on Friday 1 Nov 2019. Meet my Anna Banana, or as our mate Noah calls her, Annie Bananie, my newly found bestie with an age-old kind of friendship. We hit it off so well the first time we really talked that I thought it couldn’t be real. But it is. I remember explaining my idea of The Glocals to her one day after uni and she just immediately picked it up and told me how meaningful this podcast can be to the world. I will never ever forget that moment cause I instantly knew that we are meant to be. We are both in our early 20s and figuring things out, and we don’t know where we’re heading. But we know that wherever we are, we have each other and our friendship is one to be cherished forever. Maybe that’s why she just wanted to talk to me about friendship when we recorded this episode, and maybe she wanted to talk about it because friendship plays such a huge part in her life. We didn’t have anything scripted and sometimes we didn’t even know how to express ourselves, but we had such an awesome time reflecting on ourselves and laughing our butts off. I asked Anna if she’d like to add anything to the show notes and she just complimented on my writing. Honestly, I cannot express enough how grateful I am to have known this human. Shoutout to Pooja our queen for connecting us in the first place! One thing that I wanna point out is English serves as the second language for both of us, so the very fact that we could connect so well is a major testimonial for human connections regardless of all kinds of borders and differences. As we are approaching the end of this decade, it is so common to see long-distance friendships like what we are experiencing and about to experience in our own. I am so glad that we had this convo given that it has enabled us to understand each other’s wishes for our own friendship and for friendships in our lives in general. Thanks to this random deep chat like all the others of ours, we have also been able to envision our future even though it’s bittersweet to think about. Agreeing that maintaining this friendship, like any others, has got to be a 2-way street, Anna and I have felt more confident in being friends, making friends and keeping friends. As much as we would like to share with the world that it takes effort to be a good friend, we would also love to acknowledge that being a good friend requires as much as a short meaningful message or a quick check-in call. As we found each other, we’d also lost some friends and now we know that it’s actually for our sake. We got to filter our circles and reflect on our life changes, and we have found more people like us. It is such an important and beautiful thing. We are grateful for each other and all of our amazing friends. We are so grateful to be able to share our lessons with you, and we know that more friendship lessons will come to us. But for now, we hope our convo can inspire you in some ways to be a better friend, making more meaningful friendships, and especially, making that one phone call or sending that one message you know you should have made or sent in a while. All our love, Anna and Lu  P/S: Hey Anna my darling, I love this convo of ours so much and I am so glad we can listen to it again whenever we miss each other, so may we keep the sparks alive, always. ---   This episode is sponsored by  · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. 