Hey guys, this is Lisa and Rebecca and we are here on the secret life of weddings. If you like drama, you're in the right place where we tell you the world's craziest, but true wedding stories. So get ready for the drama on the secret life of weddings. Good day and welcome to episode 106 of the secret life of weddings podcast. This is Lisa Rebecca. Good day. Good day, sir. Good evening to you. I have red wine tonight. I can tell its historical. It's the first time I've actually had alcohol in a while on the show. That's true. It's been me lushing it up. You have been you know filling the Lush void for both of us really for a while. Also, I continue to yes very proud. Also, I two minutes ago, I couldn't stop laughing because Rebecca would move and her tits would literally bash the microphone and knock it flying and I could I just thought it was the most funny thing I've ever seen in my life because she just kept hitting them be like God damn it, and I don't think I've ever really We realized how large they were until you just threw them in my face because don't forget. We got the video chat thing going. I got it. Yeah, I got quite I was like she got it for you. She was trying to get a range of like Hello Girls. The best part is I love her cause she knew exactly what I was talking about. Yeah, the beer there there there Kim is some they're here the road to play today. It's all good. Yeah, because I'm in a tank top because I'm hot it's hot. It's hot. Yeah. You settled now though. There's not going to be any more boob flowing in or you're getting more exposure. You're okay. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I'm good. It's all good. You know, I want you to feel relaxed when we record. So if you need to let them for you made me feel comfortable fine. Yeah is my tank top. It's just funny because I normally don't I don't get a Hello actually you're like in sweats or something like that, but it's hot in there. So I'm setting the tone for the This episode apparently I am too with the red one. That's fine. This is actually the last of the bottle which is like so what am I got sad? I do have a little more upstairs. It's not my preferred one. I actually had lunch with a friend of mine and you know got served their house rat or whatever and then fell in love with it. It's like I can't remember what it's called. It's literally called like house red or something like that. I don't know. It's called get in my belly. It's really nice. It's not dry. I don't like Dry wines. I'm like really picky with red wine. I just like it said not it's funny. I'd pick you as hell but I'll never remember what one's called ever. Yeah, or if I like shiraz our cat cab Salve or I'm like, I don't know one. That doesn't taste gross. That would be great. Can you get yeah I me, you know, right but this one is quite quite lovely. I must say that's good. Hmm your setup. I am good. I am I'm all safe and I have to tell you so I am now I texted you. Earlier about this I told you I tried the app where it makes you look old for god sakes. Okay, I'm probably the last person out here that hasn't tried it and I refuse I refuse to give in to this. Okay. I couldn't I normally don't do those things but I couldn't resist because the results were incredible. Were they though? Yeah, excuse me. You say you don't like me as an old woman I'm saying our friendship is being cut off and about five years. It's just so funny dagger in my heart and you sent not one but you sent to yes. I just wanted to be sure you know, that's how I was gonna It's like oh my God, she did it twice. I can't even bring myself to do it. Once. I was like, I don't know, you know one I look okay the next one. I might look like the Cryptkeeper. So I really had to you know, play my cards and see what I was dealt. But gotcha. I showed Justin you aged. Well, thank you. That's what that yeah answer I was looking for I was totally joking. Oh sure. She's like, yeah swell Cryptkeeper know you aged. Well, it was like you didn't have those. Owls no offense everybody know everybody Charles come up, but you know, I showed just and I said I did the app and he goes oh God. Oh God. Do I want to see? Oh God, and he looks at he goes is it weird that you kind of look like my mom and I said, not at all. I said your mom's a beautiful woman. I'm okay with that, you know, if you want to tell me I look like your mother until he's in bed with you know, that's what your might get a little weird. I know what he meant. No, it's because I'm blond too and she's blond. So an older woman who looks like I say older, but you know, she's Not super old, but she's older than me. Yeah. And the point is he got tones of his mom and I was like, you know what, it's cool. I'm fine. I'm comfortable with that. The funniest part was Justin's like did you do it for me? And I said not yet you want to goes? Yeah, let's do it. So he sits up and I got a selfie of them and I did it and do you want to see Jacob and I want to see it. Okay. I've got it right here. I have to see this. Okay, so here's his before as a heads up. Okay? Okay. Yeah. Here's Justin as a dog. Isn't that wild? Oh my God, that's crazy. It's weird. I it's so weird, but he's freaked me out for real because they're legitimately Meowstic because yeah, you know, it would be really cool. Oh my God, you know what? You should do what get a photo of your mom when she was younger and put it in. Oh, yeah and see how like how she heard it is. Yeah, how close it gets? Oh, I'm so gonna do that you can do you Her to a there's a filter where you can go younger so we can make you look younger if you have fucking down for that actually acts it all do that. It works great. But let me do it. Yeah, you can it's the same photo and you can go younger or older and I see I didn't save it. It's the differences are miniscule. You have to see in person right? It's not the differences to going to old. But let me tell you the best part was showing our children. Okay? Oh my God, so we showed Jill your poor children said guess what? I'm really scared the shit out of them. I will know actually this is the best part. So Jill says she sees my photo and then she goes oh and she sees Justin her dad and she goes oh and then I so do you think she goes well, you're you're still beautiful, but dad's awful or that's horrible or he/she says something amazing about Jocelyn. Oh my god. Wow, or Dodds. That's bad. And then I showed the best part though as I showed. I am and I showed him mine and then I he goes at first. He said something like like oh, I don't like that and I went. Oh my God, that hurts my feelings. I thought I would be beautiful to you forever because he's a sucky Mommy's boy and he loves you so much and I looked kind of hurt and he goes mommy. I'm just kidding. You're always beautiful and gives me a big hug and I was like that that's more like it. And then my favorite part was I showed him the picture of the young picture of Justin and then I flipped over and I was like, look there's Daddy young and here he is old. He goes there was a difference. She just freaked I just freaked I laugh so hard I ran upstairs to tell just like you would not believe the burned your son. Just dealt you. Oh damn. I didn't mean it as a joke. He was like Hey serve that shit up on a platter without issue. Yeah. He did. Yeah, he did. It was something else. There isn't a phasing. That's awesome. It's like damn Liam. You cold I wasn't the same money. I love it. But yeah, it was cool. Really really realistic like crazy realistic. Yeah, it's pretty wild. That's cool. It's the technology blows my mind. So I had to try it I couldn't resist but we should we should totally do a thread of like old old selfies and are in this episode thread in are doing it. Come on, whatever Dino's some asshats going to ghost take my Photo off of Facebook and they're you know, they're mentally I already know I already I'm surprised no one has done it yet. Honestly, it's pretty wild. Do you know what I did though as a test because there was a photo of me and Noel Gallagher that I happen to have on my phone and I was like, okay. I want to see how I look in this photo and but it was like detects two phases. So then I was like, I wonder how it's going to do what it's going to do to him. Yes. I've seen photos of him young and I did the young one. In it, it looked just like them as a boy as a teenager. It was wild. Yeah, that's interesting. I know how they do it, but it was magic. So I'm very curious to see what you think like about the going backwards. Like I want my mom to want to get a picture of my mom and the nature for and see if it looks like her nowadays. Yeah, that would be trippy. But that's what I've been doing with my days. Nice. I'm glad you're being productive. I am I am. Well, it's awesome Chris you are. What about you? My son picked up his car new to him car this week. So awesome. Is that the one? Yeah your parents or your husband's parents or something? No, he bought this last week. So wow. What kind of car a Subaru Impreza? Oh, I don't know that one. Yeah, that's awesome. That's his curve for school what color you know, it's like a charcoal color. Very nice. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. That's good son. Yeah. So he's never home now. So that's good. If you guess that's good, I guess well, he gets a car and he's like see I mean ever well, you know the hype right? He's 18. He's got his own car. He's all hyped up. And of course that'll wear off. I told him I'm like, it's gonna wear off. You're not going to like driving all the time. He might you never know. Oh, I have a little bit of other big news about kids. Yeah. Let me show you a picture see if you can guess. I cheer like a classic got glasses turn cutie. Turns out she's nearsighted. Oh, yeah. So we've got told by a teacher near the end of school that I guess she was having some trouble reading some letters that were on highlighter or something that was in Super contrasty on some paper. So I was like, oh crap, I better bring her in. So yeah, she picked up the cutest cutest blue metallic frames. They're just adorable and they got little flowery sides and Yeah, super super cute. It might get better as she gets older. But for now, that's her big news. She is so excited to get home. Let me tell you she's got to wait like a week for them to be made or whatever. Yeah, but she's super duper excited. That's so funny. Yeah, my daughter was excited too and she got hers. I'm like why I hate wearing mine. So I know I tried Myers shit all over her dreams. I just want to be like, yeah, they'll be the bane of your existence for the next ten years, but I'm not gonna say that She has she has enough time to find out about her period and everything too. So I really don't want to pile on the garbage. Yeah to early. She's only five sure fair enough. I thought I would you know, just parcel out the emotional pain over several years. That's smart that way that way I don't run out ahead of time. Yeah. Oh, it's getting hot in here Rebecca think I'm going to take my sweater off. Join you in tank top land. Oh you gonna get the girls? Oh, yeah so party. Nice. So what do we have happening in the news this week? Well, well, well well well, let me tell you well, by the way, I'm rocking my wine my for Fox sake wine glass that you got me maze for Christmas. I always was I use these all the time just saying I said, I'm still using my Game of Thrones. Yes girl. Yeah Modern Family star Sarah Hyland and bachelorette contestant Wells Adams. We are engaged Beach proposal check drone video and photography of the moment check a big beautiful ring, check a look of surprise and sheer happiness from his betrothed leading to a passionate kiss. Check check check. I'll be Johnny you be June, but forever Adams captioned the posts, which was sent to music by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors whole snow wholesome. Holc IM c om b o Holcomb then yeah Holcomb. You're right Highland 28 post a picture of the moment her Beau got down on one knee writing that can't that can't eat can't sleep Reach for the Stars over the fence World Series kind of stuff Highland said on Jimmy Kimmel Live last year that the to have a modern romance that began on social media Wells slid into my DMs she told mole and the two bonded over their love of tacos so he deemed her. Yes funny. Oh get your DM's rocking you guys. Look at that can happen. It's such a coincidence. I had tacos for dinner tonight. So nice. Yeah, very nice. That's about all I can contribute to this conversation because I don't know who the fuck they are. I don't family. You never watch Modern Family. Nope, I'm gonna cable dude, and it's not streaming. Oh gosh, Lisa. It's it's such a good show is a good I've heard. It's really good. Okay, you you actually probably would like it but I'm okay. Yeah. Yeah, but it's again. It's not streaming anywhere. I don't think is it Netflix, I think no oh maybe all right. I'll give it a go. I'll give it a go go. We'll talk a bit ago. We'll talk about okay, so we got a listener question. Okay. Okay, I like this and she said hi ladies looking for some advice here how great of an idea is it for my fiance to karaoke gold digger to me at our reception. Okay. On a scale of 1 to 10 44. Okay. It is the best thing I've ever heard looking awesome. That's I love it. I think by saying areas. I think you just gotta go for it. You don't need advice on this one just do it. I think you knew the answer to your question before you even wrote us my dear and I think you need to send us the video once it's done. Yeah, because I gotta see this shit. Yeah. I actually think this is a fabulous idea. I think it's hilarious. It's so fun even funnier. If you know he legit is super-rich nothing but a gold digger. I don't say the word don't say the word Rebecca. Oh, don't say it. Not gonna say yes. I know the song. That was all that was before I had children I do believe so. Yes, I know song. Yes, do it do it. I think yeah do it. No. No, maybe just do it do it and report back Kay. Thanks. Also, if you have any super stuffed up like stuffy, you know needs to relax type relatives, you know, you may get some Flack for it, but they don't matter so, you know, I think I think there's a shift happening in what x where people are able to get away with more stuff than they used to be. Or years, dude. No, but I think I think a lot more people are just getting on board with it. I think you're seeing a think right. Now. You're seeing a lot more things. People are really really tossing Traditions now. Yeah, you know, whereas before they would you hem and haw over it and will do theirs wedding more than likely do it. I mean though, you know that there's wedding llamas now. So yeah, like let me tell you my wedding this week this weekend. I'm shooting Machado yet. They're doing a flash mob. Yeah, and I'm so excited and only certain people know like about it. So it's going to be pretty cool just because they told you because I've had clients before who just go into him and they found that they forget to tell a photographer and it's like I had that would have been good. So I didn't have my face full of chicken in like, you know shoveling it in and the metal of speeches before I had to run like crazy, too. The Dancing Yeah Yeah, I've got my very last wedding coming up next weekend, which you are helping shoot. So that's exciting. Yeah. I'm very very honored to have you helping me out and Justin. I'm honored I get to shoot your last wedding with you sweating unless someone else wants to pay me a lot of money. That's crazy. Like if you really think about it, it's a very crazy. Has that it's your last wedding. That's nuts. Yeah, like to think about I can't even wrap my head around that idea yet, I guess because I and I will have a last you know, I guess because I haven't so resigned myself to the fact that I'll never shoot one again. Like I yeah, I will quote this or that I will do one like say you're getting married practically in my backyard, you know on a day when I don't mind working on I might do it. So I guess because i'm Not so like I'm never shooting one again. It doesn't necessarily feel like it's probably the last one ever but it's my last booked one. It's the last one that I've looked like a year out. It's the last one I care to you know do that for so yeah, officially, it's my last one. Will it be last one ever time will tell I guess it depends someone wants to fly me to lie. I'm not going to fight you, you know, yeah fair enough not going to fight you. Yeah, but I'll go to Italy to I'll go to Italy when he wants to take me to Leo. I'll go I'll go back to Hawaii. I'll go back to Paris. That would be cool. England would be nice. If anyone you know has some extra cash and likes us Rebecca cam. It's the good times two photographers for the price of one. But seriously, yeah, it's it is officially my last so it's end of the chapter man and of a chapter so bizarre. It's a little bizarre little bizarre 11 years coming all good. So Have a listener story up first this week years ago. When I worked for a caterer, we did a luncheon wedding reception for a strict Catholic Family bride's mom was strict Catholic. Anyway, it was a late morning wedding because the momzilla didn't want them to be publicly leaving the reception to go to a hotel room to do the nasty. They long since already done said nasty said nasty. That's great. But Mom was in severe denial. The couple stayed for the whole reception and as it was winding down the mom took the mic and was at Great pains to inform the guests that the couple would be going bowling and then to the zoo accompanied by their parents, of course before going to the airport to leave for their honeymoon. I've often wondered how that marriage turned out. Wow, that's like Denial in yeah, that's Reasons ridiculous. She knows Lee does was going to happen after the zoo. Does the mother do we know dirty dirty dirty dirty Zeus X that's going to happen dirty. The animals are going to get them all fired up. Don't go to the monkeys like hear what they do. Seriously. How does that woman think that her child was born at this point, you know, I'm not on board with hot like hiding that. Shit, I don't know. Maybe that's just me now. Things are ridiculous. Oh, well, what are you gonna do man? Okay, so our next story was sent in by Rebecca. No, not me Rebecca another Rebecca via Pinterest third-party Rebecca. Yeah yesterday. I got married. It was awesome. Everything went perfectly but it almost went horribly wrong. Here is the story of how chugging a beer saved my wedding ceremony. The ceremony is scheduled for 5:30. I get to Roanoke at about 4:30. And as soon as I get out of my car, I hear music blasting as I walked towards the house it gets louder. There is a rager going maybe 20 yards from where I'm about to do the most important thing I will ever do. Oh no from this distance. The party is loud enough that people will think we chose Little John tracks for the wedding processional. Sorry, that's a bad thing. That's funny. My bride has not arrived and by God, I don't want this day ruined for her. That's so sweet. Ah, I discussion in Sue's among myself and my groomsmen of what we'll fix this we decide some of us will go over but we need a plan for how to best persuade them. I decide that the minimum acceptable result is they turn it down for a half an hour. Our guests might overhear their music world. Taking their seats, but at least the ceremony would be in the clear. I'm going to start by just asking nicely and hope they aren't jerks. My backup plan is to offer them money in case they are aggressive. I bring my most intimidating groomsmen. My groomsmen aren't particularly intimidating. So it's just the groomsmen with the most tattoos. The wedding photographer is very interested in seeing how this plays out and he thinks it could make for some good. Good pictures so he follows us. Naturally. That's what we do. This means my success or failure in Saving this wedding will be documented. Nice. We we followed the noise to a pool party and walk right in this is probably a good time to mention. We are wearing tuxedos. If you ever crash a pool party and attacks, you will be noticed a guy rides up to me looks very confused. Then asks why we are there I explained the situation wedding. Noise Etc. He immediately shouts. Holy shit. This guy is getting married, of course because that's what people drinking do. Of course. I cheer everything is holy shit. This is happening. We can I cheer goes up and suddenly we are in the middle of the crowd. Ah, I explain again this time to a group of about 25. I'm not sure if they're going to buy it into it and someone shouts get him a beer a beers. Found the crowd seems pretty sympathetic to the situation and I asked so we are good. You all will keep it down for a bit and someone piped up only if you chug that beer. I am now surrounded by most of the party who are all chanting chug chug. That's why I would have eaten the damn beer can to make sure my bride had the perfect wedding. So the Chug chant was unnecessary, but appreciated. I polish up the beer talking. The can into the air and the place explodes these guys now want us to join their party people are offering beer bongs vodka shots and pool noodles full of whiskey wait someone or do I get a pool noodle full of that's a good time. It's amazing. Someone asks if I want to jump from the roof of the house and to the pool. Yeah, the bride would love that, right? I decline these offers since I have a wedding to get to and I probably shouldn't be blind drunk and soaking wet. They all agreed to keep it down and wish me luck as we are leaving. They start a hot toddy. That was a nice touch. What's a hot like I know the drink Hot Topic. I don't know. What's a hot toddy. Oh as we are walking back. The photographer says this is one of the most surreal things. He's ever seen when doing a wedding. He shows us some of the shots and they are as good as Expected when we return to Roanoke. The noise level is down the music pipes up a bit at some point but immediately goes back down so they did keep their word. My wife has no idea about any of this until after the ceremony. So yeah, that is how chugging a beer with a bunch of Sigma CH. I add a pool party saved my wedding ceremony if someone from Ole Miss Sigma Chi I think a signature is so uh, I I think I I think it's kinda gets in touch with me. I'll give them a case of beer left over from my wedding. Oh, that's so great story and there was pictures to I'll have to post in our group. That would be fun to see totally posted in this thread for. Yeah, so but it's Rebecca. Thank you for sending that in that was amazing. And I wonder if the bride was like, why do you smell like a brewery? Like when he got to the to say is I Do's I wonder so funny. Oh my gosh, I love it. So if you're like me you have some Form of anxiety or depression or just something on your mind that you feel is holding you back from really? I don't know going forward in life achieving your goals better help online counseling is here for us better help is available worldwide and you can connect with a professional counselor in a safe and private online environment. You can chat with a therapist via video or phone or use chat and text. I'm loving that they have text chat. I'm better at writing down my feelings and my thoughts than I am speaking. Making them better help is secure it's convenient and the therapists are incredibly professional although licensed professional counselors are specialized in areas of depression anxiety family conflicts relationships lgbtq matters and so much more best of all guys. It's a truly affordable option. So all the secret life of weddings listeners are going to get 10% off their first month with discount code The Secret Life of weddings. So why not get started today go to better help.com The Secret Life of weddings. Discount code The Secret Life of weddings take care of you today God. That was corny. Haha big thank you to our new patreon members this week. Dhulia on Yo and Mary they went to patreon.com slash secret life of weddings and superhero as always our producer this week Charlotte's Solomon. I feel a little emotion feeling we need a theme song. That would be really really fun or not. I want to Echo. Her name Charlotte's Solomon. I'll just do that in post. It'll be good and and the totally worked totally worked. I love it. So up next we have a listener story, which is anonymously which means you know, it's going to be good. Hey ladies, I found your podcast last year after getting engaged in absolutely loved it. I just got married a couple weeks ago and all your tips and rants she knows us. Really helped with planning. My vendors were spoiled to the point that my photographer said I was his favorite client. Yeah, that's awesome. You are awesome. We love you. Luckily my wedding went off without any major hitches or dumpster fires. Sorry, but we did have a ton of drama from my now sister-in-law leading up to the big day. I even considered calling the whole show off and taking off with the hubby to elope without anyone. Because of her shit buckle up and grab your wine done because this bitch is legit cray-cray for a little bit of context. My husband is the younger child and only has one older sister for years apart sister-in-law lives in New York City eight hours drive away and is a fancy lawyer who lives in a fantasy life and is too good for her rural country family the first one Those guys always are the best the first time I met her hubby and I had been together five months and were on a trip. Huh be one read two-thirds of our time was booked solid. I had been warned before the trip that she was a narcissist not a duck face in the bathroom mirror type but a real life narcissistic personality disorder crazy, and she quickly showed her true colors. It was warm and I was a tourist and I had my hair up were shorts and a t-shirt no makeup. That's like me all the time except shorts because my chub rub and all that and I'm not down with that any sister-in-law made comments all evening about me Sephora can teach you to do makeup. If you wear nicer clothes people will take you more. Seriously. You should learn shit. Yeah, you should learn how to style your hair. Whatever. I rolled my eyes at ignored her till the next day the next morning. Had a flight out at two she called the hotel and demanded to be connected to our room. She proceeded to yell at her brother for 45 minutes about how awful it was that we weren't spending the day with her how I was keeping her from her brother blah blah blah and it's been like that ever since snide remarks meltdowns for being excluded limited contact wash rinse repeat. Wow, she's Next Level crazy. Oh, she's high-maintenance. Damn cut to getting engaged. He and I discussed the bridal party. We aren't wealthy and I didn't want large party drama. Thanks for the tip. Ladies. No problem. So we decided on two people on each side. That's good. Right his two best friends and my sister and best friend. He made the decision to leave. For out because of her treatment of him me and his parents. The reason we gave his parents and everyone else. They aren't close and we wanted to keep the party small since that is true. And since we I was paying for everything myself, everyone accepted that sister-in-law even asked about who I had picked for bridesmaids a few weeks after getting engaged and seemed to accept my answer or so. We thought after a blow up from her at Christmas. As we heard nothing from her for three and a half months. We each tried to say happy birthday sent her a hello here and there nothing. So naturally. I knew we had done something to offend her with the wedding coming up. I expected the problem to arise soon. Oh boy fun, 15 days before the wedding Friday hobby wakes up to a long message from his sister. It's too good not to paste for your enjoyment. Okay, here we go. Yeah receipts receipts. Hey and she put the her, um, her brother's name in here. I see that messages I send you on here don't typically get a response, but I thought I would try to reach you. I wanted to mention that I know your fiance must have a lot on her mind and you two are happy and very preoccupied with each other and her friends and whatnot, but I couldn't help but notice that for the and time you are entirely omitting your sister from considerations relating to the wedding. I don't know if maybe it wasn't apparent in other weddings you have attended but typically siblings are included and involved. They are members of the wedding party and are treated in an inclusive manner. Your first wedding was pretty much like you were an only child and at the time I attributed that to and insert bitchy ex-wife's name here. But I noticed you are doing it again for the second time. So all I can say is I don't know if that is deliberate or apparent to you. But of course it is your choice. I am sorry if there was some problem or some reason you are doing that that I don't know about. It is somewhat embarrassing to me to not be included like I don't exist because that is not the usual practice and it was very embarrassing for Me the first time around. I hope you don't feel criticized or take my observation in a way that isn't intended. I just wanted to respectfully draw this to your attention. Hope you and your fiance are well yikes. Wow making it much about her how she layered that though. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's good. So I roll I smack head against nearest wall two weeks before the wedding and she decided that all of a sudden she Needs to be included. Okay, I can include you I picked a really Patty reading and offered her that her response. Oh, sorry. She wrote. I picked a really pretty reading I get any better. It would be about like a third person horning their way in on something and that would just be all is about not a bit love at all. Sorry. She wrote. I picked a really pretty reading and we offered her that her response. She sent wedding photos of all their cousins and How they had siblings in their parties. Oh my God. How Let It Go a reading wasn't good enough. She actually demanded to be a bridesmaid with two weeks left. You can't even get a dress in that amount of time all turnouts. Like no with two weeks left till the wedding. We tried to talk to his parents but his mom took our side and his dad kept saying that I needed to meet her halfway. Okay in a blurs. See these are the people that make narcissists like her You know a problem because they just keep enabling them. Oh just do it. Just it'll make her happy. Just nobody ever says no puts her foot down and just yeah, you're an asshole. We're not doing it. Yeah. Halfway, like maybe give her a reading bus seriously, dude. I met her halfway and she spit in my face after several calls back and forth and more nasty messages. I blocked her on Facebook. That's gushy the wedding coming up, right? Yeah, I don't put up with this kind of manipulative bullshit anymore from anyone good for you. She quiets down for a couple days and I hoped that maybe she had given up but no such luck her flying monkey fathered. I just think that's great because that's her father-in-law. Oh, yeah her flying monkey father decided everybody's gonna be flying monkeys. Now. I need him. I'm at a time. Don't be such a fucking flying monkey. He decided to give her my cell phone number so we could work things out directly. Oh God. Hold on. I need wine yowza seven days before the wedding Saturday. Yay. All planning is finished. All timeline sent out vendors paid stuff packed. All I have to finish is purchasing stuff for the honeymoon hubby and I decide to go shopping for shorts toiletry sunglasses at cetera. When I get a call from a New York number Red Flag. I don't know the number so I don't answer check voicemail and get this gem. Hi, this is your future sister-in-law and your future husband's sister. I am calling you to try to take some steps to clear. Whatever are there may be in terms of you being upset and me being someone embarrassed about the configuration of my brother's wedding. I hope that you and I can talk directly about it. Please call me. This is after voicemails left on hubby's phone that same day about me being petty and small-minded. It does a petty. Time for the record not pretty and small-minded Petty and small-minded. I finally had enough and decided to text her text not call. I refused repeatedly to pick up the phone which only pissed her off, but I know her game and I knew to get everything in writing smart gar. Mmm over several hours. She pulled every emotionally manipulative trick in. In the book Hobby and I created a drinking game for every time she said my only brother. Wow, she told me how embarrassing it was for her to not be a bridesmaid how everyone would wonder why she suggested that I was abusive to Hubby because she hadn't seen him in a year and we were never home for holidays side note. I went to every American holiday with their family and celebrated at a different time with mine the only As Christmas which we celebrated in my home, which is parents knew that plan two months in advance. She asked if I would ever treat my only sister the way I have treated her. She hasn't met my sister, LOL. She accused me of dividing their family because she was so upset. She said that we weren't married yet. And since I was just Hobbies girlfriend, I needed to defer to his family another side note. She told my husband that he needs to talk to me and that I need to learn. Earn that a wife's biblical duty is to take care of him and his family ha ha ha, I would smack a bitch at this point. Oh, I am. Yeah, it's bad. I'm not one to be called a feminist. But seriously girl what the fuck and you live in New York City then. She finally got back to her demands again. It's like she has a bomb strapped to her chest this woman, right? Oh, wow. Again. We are one week away from the Wedding it is literally impossible to add a bridesmaid at this point. She kept feeding me BS about etiquette books and family values and how hurtful it is that I left her out after repeating myself three times that I had a reading for her. I'd be like, I I know where you can stick your reading at this point. Mmm. She could even buy a bridesmaid dress in the same color of she wanted I gave up and turned my phone off. Smart. Yeah later that evening. Where is your husband in this point? I would be like go take care of your fucking sister. I can't even deal with her anymore. Yeah, that's true. Right. I would have him handle because that's just too much. I feel like at this point. I will be at the spa for a week. You let me know when it's time to go down the aisle. Yeah later that evening. My dad calls me. Apparently she added him on Facebook and started in on him too. Okay. Someone needs to real this chicken. Let's go she's got boundaries whatsoever Of course, he wasn't having it because he's not a flying monkey, right? I am a daddy's girl and have done too much for hubby's family and sacrificed too much to have a nice wedding day. So Daddy put her in her place good man said none of his siblings were in his wedding that I was paying for this wedding and no one had the right to tell me what to do groom gets an opinion and all his requests were granted and that she is way too late to complain about this now. By waiting this long to complain shows that she actually didn't care. She just wanted to be the bride at the wedding loll Go Daddy. Wow Standing Ovation for your father. Seriously six days before the wedding Easter Sunday Hobbies dad calls to wish him a happy Easter husband isn't my place but we pretend I'm not there. So his parents will speak candidly about five seconds later father-in-law says he got a call from Sister. And La last night and she told him how awful I was to her lies lies lies and that hubby needs to tell me to call the princess and apologize. Fuck that. I took a screenshot of each and every word that was sent see I smart. Yes, you are and sent them to my husband's mother father in law still didn't back off of me. So I had my dad send his messages to at this point. I'm livid Tell my husband that she is Uninvited and if his parents have a problem they can stay home too shit. I am loving these ultimatums though, like someone's finally standing sure, you know for sure five days to go one day my dad decides to he's relations and calls father-in-law. They decide that the bitch should be encouraged to stay home. However, if she really wants to come here are the requirements That's number one the shit about being a bridesmaid stops immediately. Number two. I totally agree number two all offers are off the table. She can sit with the family but nothing more. No reading. She be in the picture. Yeah. Well, that's a good question number three. She is not allowed in the bridal Suite that's a good call number four. She is to stay five feet away with at least one person between us Wow, it's a restraining order than the wedding restraining order. This is amazing. I've never heard of a wedding restraining order before this is a first for us and we have a hundred and six shows girl. Think about it. That's kind of crazy number five. She is not allowed to arrive until pictures start. There you go. So if I guess she gets to be in some I'd watch her the put a tight leash on that one. Yeah. She's the type to just go in any way even if she's not in that grouping you know number. Six, if she violates these terms she will be given five minutes to vacate the premises before the police are called for trespassing. My family is on the board of the church / venue. We have this power. Wow, look at her. She's like I'm gonna bring a fucking taser. It's cool father-in-law hubby and I all agree to these terms father-in-law informs sister-in-law of the terms and supposedly she accepts and says that she will come and behave a couple of days before the wedding. She did email. Be one last time with the same control your wife attitude, which we ignored. Can you imagine having to do this to a family member? She's stuff is ridiculous like an immediate family member to yeah. Luckily. She decided to stay home rather than show up and steal the spotlight instead. We had a perfect day with no drama. Lots of funny pictures of my nephew being a secret agent way too much food in keg and funny dancing to finish the night. Sorry. This is so long. I tried to cut out as much as I could know that there was too much crazy to not mention that it was awesome. You did awesome. Love you. Ladies so much and thank you for helping me make my wedding perfect. Now I can listen to other people's drama without worrying about my own dumpster fire Lala. Congratulations. Yay. I'm sorry you had so much drama leading up. That sucks. Yeah. Sorry about that your sister-in-law. But yay for you guys, and that's what matters I feel like I need an update. Did you ever I want to know did Ever talked to her after the wedding like did she ever say anything has she said anything to you? This just happened? It sounds like so it's like did you well as Eastern she's just lonely in her life. Oh, I would I would say that's a good possibility someone that overbearing. Yeah, not much to hold onto their I feel a little bad for her. Yeah. I don't I know what was your first clue, you know being engaged is so exciting, but planning a wedding. Ting is so stressful. Don't let your big day cause unnecessary Financial worries ready to take your relationship to the next level with the twine app saving money towards your financial goals just got easier save with a cash savings account or invest in a portfolio customized for you based on your needs and with automatic deposits from your bank to twine. You can set it forget it and save up without even trying no more temptation to spend that extra money and did we mention that you can share a goal with a partner and save together that's teamwork with twine. You can Even invest for the things that matter to you all it takes is five dollars and two minutes to get started right now twine is offering you $15 to help you save for your goals. Just go to twine.com secret life. When you open your first goal twine will add fifteen dollars to your account. Go to twine.com secret life today for 15 dollars towards your First Savings goal start saving with twine.com Secret Life. We have another listener story. Because you know, we never tell listeners stories. Oh, you are so bitter about that. I'm Petty and you suck. So Perry Liam, it's okay. I love you for that in case anyone didn't notice. This whole episode is from list or stories. I've sent you a t-shirt that says Petty Betty. Yes, when they'll be great. I love it that's got to exist somewhere. If not, I'll make one I finally have a tale to share with you. This is a story. I heard about Amy a woman who recently started officiating in my town. She was marrying a couple at an out-of-town Winery the wedding went beautifully and the couple seemed happy with her service the problem started at the reception Amy stayed which is not common as most efficient sleeve after the ceremony. You know that I see that more often with priests and ministers. Sometimes the other ones do but they usually have other weddings to go to I've had officiants They though I have it's not completely out of the out of the ballpark, but I'm just saying for whatever we usually see it with usually do Lea just once yeah, cuz they usually have more than one wedding a day. That's yeah. Yeah for some reason Amy stayed and got shit-faced drunk. Oh dear. Everyone was shocked at how drunk she got in such a short period of time. She was seen dancing with an open bottle of wine on the Dance Floor. She go Into confrontations with the staff bartender even some of the bridal party she got into a scuffle over her keys, but fortunately she didn't drive home at one point. She walked in with scrapes all over her face and probably fell in the gravel parking lot. No for ya. Amy was banned from the winery and it is unlikely that she will marry couples anytime soon when confronted all Amy could say I was that she didn't know what happened. She got blackout drunk damn girl. Don't drink on the job. Oh, isn't that crazy? That's wild. Oh my God. I can't even think I don't know. I won't begrudge you a glass of wine, but damn girl. Oh honey, it's so bad. All right. Next we have our Double D's and doing we're doing Dayton doing date in this week. Hey ladies, this is a dating story back in the day. When I was young and dumb AKA High School teenager. I'm at the sky through a mutual friend at a small get-together and we hit it off. He owned his own old beat-up truck with a lift kit I had Like God, what is it? Oh, I know what a lift kit is. It's like yeah, they make it like, how do I describe the brown? Thank you. Yes. It's like the truck is lifted right teenage me was hashtag impressed. We had plans. Of course, we had planned to get together and hang out / go for coffee. Now. I must add that the day prior to this. We had one of those ice storms you guys were talking about a few podcasts ago. So there were many areas of ground fully covered. And ice on the day of our date everything was going well until it was time for the drive home. I went to hop into the passenger side of his truck but the spring in my step caused for a major. Slip. Oh, no, not only did I fall but I also slid halfway under his truck. Oh dear. He was still on the driver's side of the vehicle. So naturally I try and quickly refill my lungs with air and scramble up before he noticed that I had. Colin but I can't get up I literally cannot stand a just keep falling on the ice. Oh man. I've done that and you're done that but the ice like ice driveways, it's so funny. Did you ever see those videos videos? Yeah see the video of the guy who like walked onto the driveway and just fell skate like yes failed all the way down. Oh man. That was a good one. Meanwhile, he hopped in the truck and looked over to see no one he got out and came looking for me to find me sprawled on the ground halfway under his vehicle. He had to pick me up off the ground. I was absolutely mortified. That's amazing. Absolutely great. I love it. Nothing is fucking funnier than someone falling down repeatedly, right really, it's true. Thank you for that true. I laugh all the time. Also, if you guys have your own stories be it wedding dumpster fires dating or divorce stories for a double D's you can email us secret life of weddings at gmail.com or go to secret life of weddings.com and use the contact form there and we have another dating one. This is coming from our good friends. The Kim's oh our newlywed Kim. It's new our newlywed bitches. The Kim's. Yes. Alright. So first date The Other Woman and I were both involved with other people Metacafe. She was adorably late. She came into the cafe flustered. We had a lovely day her hands shook holding her coffee mug from being nervous. I thought it was cute after brekkie. I gave her a hug at the curb and I headed home. I text her 45 minutes. I thought for a minute there date. Like started and ended and then they were saying goodbye a breakfast. I was like God damn. That's a good first date found to go. Okay, so they had a breakfast date is that yes at a cafe. Okay, just to clarify. I text her 45 minutes later to see if she got home. Okay. She responded. She lost her car and couldn't remember where she parks. Oh my God, I love them even more now. That's hilarious. Right? She found it an hour. Later. It's the same woman a couple weeks later. We shared our first kiss when she spent the night. Yeah, I played hard-to-get ha ha the next morning. She was driving home was thinking about the kiss the whole drive and didn't realize she ran out of petrol. So gasps gasps. Yes for everybody. Yeah, just know it's not an Aussie or yeah - yeah, she broke down on the side of the road and had to call her dad to bring her gasps. Oh, no fast forward a few weeks. We went on another date and met up with one of her best friends in Brisbane. We had dinner drinks and her best friend invited us back to show us her hotel room. She awkwardly proposition me for a threesome. Friend. Oh, no way my day dragged me out of the room immediately and we went back to my place not long after we were officially dating now we are married. Oh, yes. It's my dating history with Kimberly all about some amazing. Those are great stories guys. Oh and Kimberly still use loses her car. Okay, if you guys come to Toronto only ubering no driving. Yes. Guys, listen I have I've almost lost my car or I did lose my car in a parking garage. She ever do that and I was like drunk after a show or something and I was Justin was driving home or something and I was like walking around and I had parked it in a rush to get there in time for the show. It was after a Tears for Fears concert. She's trying to beat the car be like, it's here somewhere. It's here somewhere. Oh my gosh, that's so funny hot mess all over. Yeah. That's awesome. Thank you guys for sending that in that. Broke the best. Well, I guess that's it for this week on The Secret Life of weddings episode 106 and Rebecca anything can happen I weddings and we will be here to tell you all about it. Well, that's it for us this week on The Secret Life of weddings podcast. If you need more drama in your life go over to patreon.com slash secret life of weddings to sign up for additional weekly episodes the first few episodes. Is are free. So go check it out patreon.com slash secret life of weddings, and we will see you here next week.
This week we hear stories about a super Catholic mom with some serious delusions about her kid's upcoming wedding night, a groom who parties pre-ceremony for the greater good, a crazy narcissistic sister of the Groom, how a wedding officiant got blackout drunk and more! SKIPPERS - jump to 19:40 to begin the stories. Is there is something that interferes with your happiness or is preventing you from achieving your goals? BetterHelp online counselling is there for you. Connect with your professional counsellor in a safe and private online environment – it’s so convenient! Visit http://betterhelp.com/thesecretlifeofweddings and get 10% off your first month with discount code THESECRETLIFEOFWEDDINGS With the Twine app, saving money towards your financial goals just got easier. Go to http://twine.com/SECRETLIFE today for $15 dollars towards your first savings goal. Get some extra juicy stories exclusively available monthly on Patreon (the first few are free) plus early release ad-free main episodes every Monday over on Patreon! 