What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. All right, everybody Welcome to the dad and buried podcast myself. Mike myself my cat. So I sometimes am I man Pete this week we're talking about what happens when parents get real whether it's worth it honestly and parenting. I know you prefer truth and parenting for some reason. They're synonyms got a better truthiness and parenting if you're if you're new, thank you for joining us. My name is Mike. I'm I go by dad and buried online my Instagram on the internet. Yeah. The information superhighway on Instagram Facebook and Twitter made my bones started out on Twitter. And now I'm on Instagram. It's I think that's a Drake. Lyric You're trying to move to the dark web though. I am taking over the job of the Silk Road. Yeah, so really crypto Mike. I spent a lot of my time and this is an important episode I think for us because I spent a lot of my time talking shit about my kids and talking shit about parenting but really I'm a truth teller, you know, you know, what what a great label you've given I know. Yeah, well, you know, I'm a soothsayer had a friend in college who saw one of those like long like are you millipede or something who decided freshman year in college that they were called soothsayers like a hairy long bug and I don't know what they're really called. But every time I see one now, I think of it as a fucking soothsayer, even though I know what a real soothsayer is isn't that says someone who's sick a fortune teller. Yeah. Yes. Okay. So, you know, it's like somebody who like reach tea leaves is some bullshit like that right? Every culture has some kind of shit like lady Cleo. Like a Bellwether woman you call one 900 Cleo. What was that? What was that woman the psychic hotline? Yeah. Click Miss Cleo Miss Cleo. She was a soothsayer and also a you con artist gets let me just let's just back this up for everyone who's joining us for the first time you are right? That's good. That's one of mine everybody. So copyright. So you are you're calling yourself a truth teller truth teller. I speak truth to power. Someone said on the live before we started recording a new Miss Cleo you the Miss Cleo of parenting. Would you say that that's accurate? You know what that's not for me. It's not I definitely I would put upon myself so funny because I believe you just gave yourself that moniker. No, but I'm a truth teller. Okay. I'm a Maverick. Okay that I watched Top Gun recently. Yeah, you know maybe more of a Sundown what about it? What about just not just a guy just trying to write stuff on the internet trying to write stuff. You think I fucking succeed in writing stuff? Okay now mine Instagram and I I visualize things still working on it. Okay, check out IG TV where I make videos. Do you we got we're posting a couple actually. Yeah. I'm going to start posting the podcast episodes there from YouTube so you can see how much I'm sweating which you can probably hear how much I'm sweating. Yeah, but they could also watch You Sweat on YouTube to which you know what Keith Sweat Kinda hot. It's all random reference Gonna Make You Sweat how many he sweat Keith Sweat? He's R&B artist may or may not have been a new addition. Maybe not maybe not. Okay. So anyway, I talk shit about my kids Pete is working on his personality a little bit. He's not online. He doesn't do social media is very uncomfortable. When we do our lives. I'm going to post a poll after this about whether people like when we do lives its whole with you know, but I love it. I should not be people want to know a little bit more about Pete. All they need to know is that there's two angry dicks that are pissed at their kit at that bar Pista parenting. I want this dress socks when I was so pissed at their kids. We love our life. I love making things sometimes God damn it. So look, I talked trash about about parenting and about being a parent in about my kids. I've got to say lightheartedly, but I'm not that lad sometimes gets pretty pretty real. It's pretty real. Well, I like to be real and that's kind of the point of this episode really we're going to get into it before we do. We just want to remind you there's a lot of ways you can support us which the easiest ways which we desperate for your your validation. The easiest way is to go to Apple podcast used to be called iTunes. Now, it's called a podcast and give us a quick rating five stars four stars. I guess if you want mean, you know, a little review might be nice subscribe to the podcast subscribe and check us out on YouTube. We can comment on individual episodes. You can write us on Spotify to if that's where you happen to listen to us. If you have some Pocket Change hanging around feel free to throw it towards us on patreon. We have a handful of patrons. We're going to talk about in a minute. We have some merch on Up that spreadshirt.com Dad - and - buried I'm sorry about that. We're working on it. And in fact from July 31st, August 4th, if you use the code Summer Sun 15 15 percent off everything know what Sarge if you need another coffee mug, please guys I'm Laura taking a tote bag. I don't know what those bags are filled with like the strings are taking them. Yeah, you know what those aren't toe basically have to be able whatever it is. You're doing your you basically other making a A mix tape of some kind if you're wearing one of those or you're an eight-year-old kid or know you maybe going to the gym or playing some hoops. If you're going to the gym, you're probably going to be selling some drugs of some kind that is inflammatory or not. I mean of those strengths. Do you have that gets number? Yeah. I'm sorry. He's very generous. Seriously that eight year olds. Wow, pretty Shifty. All right, so it's got I was going to say to you threw me off a little bit. Well, that's what I do. It's what I mean. You're great at it cause dead are so we do have A handful of patreon supporters. We just want to shout out real quick on the single dad tear we got Chris Coleman David Tuttle mspb, and who's just tried a little bites the mini muffins for the first time and I'm sorry. She hasn't tried them. She's tried to give it to her kid my kid subsists on them. We talked about picky eating last week we can get in some comments about that soon. We got Barbara Geiger on the dad bod tear what's up Barb, which is also known as funky fief want to give her a follow on Instagram. Although maybe she doesn't want a huge following. Sorry about that hard on the Father Figure tear Julie McCarthy my old Friends Sarge one of the most loyal and decorated followers Paula Paul ski, who's we got some good comments from him coming up and the World's Greatest Dad here. We got Mary Williams and Mom party of two from the DMV who apparently because of the confusion about the regional name DMV which stands for District of Columbia, Maryland, Virginia, they call it the registry of motor vehicles instead of the Department of Motor Vehicles, but everyone calls it the DMV Heather she shares a name with with my wife. I just docs to my wife Ice Age docks all Time so yeah, look obviously for us to continue doing this which we like to do but it's really sweaty and really taking a toll on my health. I think it's 200 degrees in the support we can get from you whether it's with reviews subscriptions or you know of couple of dollars that we really appreciate it and your comments. They really keep us going comments, please. Let's the readings put comments any kind of Engagement. We and the more support we get the, you know, the less advertisers we need to lean on and and the we're trying to get some Equipment for guests because I know everybody wants to hear my wife on here and they probably want to hear your wife to I know my wife wants to just basically do a podcast with your wife without us. Yeah, we'll talk about that down the line. So I know we're going to get intrusive parenting before we do we want to talk about the last two episodes because we haven't been here for a little while. So we did different parenting. So what happens when your spouse you and your spouse have different parenting Styles and we got some comments on that Sarge said he was always secretly happy. When mrs. Sarge I like how he's embracing. Yeah. This is good to know what she how she accidentally hurt the Instead of him because I think we talked about how I gave my kid a bloody nose by accident. He said he doesn't like that because he hates his kids. He likes it because if he did the same thing he would get shit for it. So it's like the shoes on the other foot little schadenfreude. You gotta mispronounce it shading frood she hadn't forgotten Freud us shot in fruit and schadenfreude. I watched Inglourious Basterds recently. I should I should know they don't say that don't say that word. They do speak German in it Christoph waltz's it very just he's like trilingual. Oh this Kick is wonderful. Pretty good. Almost now the first started off under bar. Anyway, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I like it. When when my wife's the one who fucks up and not me it is there is definitely some schadenfreude but you got to be careful. What do you do? Do you set a precedent of coming down to like see no told you hold on hold on your back pocket put it back and then you just nurse it for the rest of your seat. That's what marriage is all about nursing Petty grudges. So Paula Paul ski, he And one of our patrons just like started you said great point about maintaining united front in the face of the enemy my wife and I correct each other's parenting. But only once we were alone the exception is when I'm really losing it. She tells me to take a walk or Leave the Room which is usually a good idea. First of all, I want to say take a walk as a great song but one of my favorite band Spoon everybody go check it out. It's on the girls can tell album which was the breakout 1999. I believe check it out. Secondly, I agree with him and I wish my wife would you know do it privately she calls me out in front of the kids a lot. It's a major source of tension. I'm not saying I'm not wrong and I'm not worse at parenting but it fucks it up when she calls me out and then a couple days later the kid didn't like pulls that out of his pocket and he calls you out for what your wife called you out on that's when you know, you got trouble. This is some trouble town. Oh my God, so Ms. Buying another Patron and very loyal commenter. So just to clarify totally was not a brag. I don't know what she's talking about do you hmm? Nope didn't do enough preparation for that. She was not bragging about going on vacation. I don't know I messed up by we just blew it. We just choked on a big. Hopefully you're not joking on those mini muffins that delicious little bites. We also talked about picky eaters. Yeah Sarge waiting again. He said, oh he was just making fun of how much I sweat which he's going to enjoy next week or this week as well because I'm just it's just that I've timeline City threw up a little bit in my mouth when you can see the sweat as it pours through my shirt. You know, what? Enjoy damn it. This is our little gift. Don't call me out. It's a little gift for all of those just go check us out on that. It doesn't help that when Pete basically hides in the corner. You know, what? Yeah. I'm kind of your a Wallflower. I'm kind of leaning back. I'm gonna lean in we appreciate the word from carry w-who said the picky eaters was our best episode by far our so far not by far barely because a lot of great ones, but we really appreciate we got a lot of good feedback on the picky eaters episode. I think mostly because kids are assholes when it comes to eating and almost everything else and if you haven't done check it out give it a little And give some others listen, let us know what you think. She said she really liked listening via YouTube like you she's one of those weirdos what I do that. I'm a YouTube listener, but she disagreed about how you are a nerd about giving your kids lucky charm. She's like it's a childhood rite of passage to give you a kid sugary cereal. I agree your sugary cereals cinnamon toast to her. Now. You said honey Sugar Smacks? What? Is it Honey Nut Cheerios smack anything with the word Cheerio in it is not enough fucking decadent treat it's not but you know Rio. Don't even understand we've graduated to everyone just gets Nutella waffles. Now. We talked about that. I hope everybody just understands when you repress the it comes out the other side. It's all okay now everyone just subsists on chocolate waffles. Now, here's what happens. You don't give your kids Lucky Charms and 10 years later. They're hooked on meth. That's just that's the challenge. That's actually how we save the the government has done studies. That's what Reagan did I think? Yep. All right. So we're going to get into the nitty-gritty what it's like to be real about parenting. pros and cons right after this Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Ever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for Dad and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. Alright, so we're going to get into it today venting talking shit being honest about how shitty parenting is and the realities of it. Let's get real. What is it good for parenting. I mean War the I think that's actually what it's good for. What arrogance is Gore Laurie? Yeah, so it's funny. So I mentioned in the intro that a lot of this dovetails really nicely with my entire reason. I started blogging. So one of the reasons I started my blog was this kind of twofold at the beginning where few months before I was having my first kid. As looking for another Outlet where I could write because I'd been writing and I want to jump on the blog train late, but I saw a lot of friends were having kids and they were kind of Disappearing and there were losing their personalities and surrendering to the parenting Collective which is what I gets definitely a cult. This has his own set of terminology you your you change your in thrall to some fucking weird figure and their social life is gone. And that was one part of it. I wanted to keep my social life and my personality the other part of it was most of the shit that I saw online, especially We back then was very much. Everything is hunky-dory. Everything Is Beautiful everything is great about parenting is the greatest thing ever. Hashtag blessed. Yeah, and I was like, I don't even have my kid yet. And I know that that's not true. Right and I was like, this is the origin story. This is the origin story of dead and buried and I'm like, it's bullshit a it. It's more fun to be sarcastic and cynical and a dick and it comes more naturally to me because I'm sarcastic and cynical and a dick parenting lends itself very easily to that because it's not not a shitload of fun most of the time right? So and even now what's funny is a good almost 10 years later since I started that and had that idea it still resonates with people there's more and more people who talk shit. There's more and more ways to do it on Instagram and right like funny jokes for you briefly talk shit. Not as many people do the long form thing where I like right along screed about how I hate being a stay-at-home dad and it sucks which is what I wrote a couple of weeks ago. So that's what really triggered this that's what really triggered this. Recent version, right? So I posted that and I got a lot of fucking blowback from one woman said that if you complain about parent that she said she would when she was a single mom and she never complained about parenting and if you complain about parenting he shouldn't have kids and that is antithetical to the my entire perspective. That's bullshit. What's really funny is a lot of people responded. I posted that this woman had said that like in one of my Instagram stories and somebody responded and was like this is this woman literally Real Jesus, right? Like she's lying which must definitely has complained and it's impossible not to complain but that's what one of the things we're going to talk about is the benefits of complaining and and how its it helps connect you to other parents and how it level sets. Right as my we were talking about before this brings down expectations. It makes you realize you're not alone. We broke that this down in a lot of sexually had a lot of comments about it, but the fact is I don't think sugar coating and lying about it. And talking about how easy it is or how great it is. Does anybody have favors almost like you're trying to trick people into having kids like talking about how amazing that's right. That's right. I think that's why that's one of the reasons we started this. In fact, one of the reasons that I was even thinking about doing this is because the one thing that I feel so deeply about is I have three children and it's fucking brutal remember a brutal beating of this brutal on everybody. We talked about at the beginning of the podcast that what kind of just about saying could I we're not here. We're not experts we're just here to Complaint. That's right. But can I just say that no. Okay good. So when we had our third kid, it was me and you yeah you and I when we have number Greg Greg dad married his last name is dead and buried it wouldn't be Greg and buried well. It's there's also / each an RA IG, right / TR AIG or is it Greg with to with reaches a couple hyphens in there and there is a back you love - yeah. But no when my wife and I were going to have our third kid isn't people were like whoa. Why would you do that to yourself? Yeah. I said because we were really getting along we're having a great time and we hadn't fought and over I think about a month. It's stay like this feels weird. I want to start arguing over. Is this your yeah glass that you should put it should I put it away? Yeah you want who's changing this value? Tell me if you want to wash it. Why don't you just let me know, you know, it's like okay. Yeah exactly. Yeah, that's why we bring the spark back. Exactly. We needed to bring a little bit of that. That's the same reason. That's the same reason that sometimes what kind of opposite of jaw to be sometimes sometimes I will empty the ice tray. Yeah, and then I'll just leave it I won't refill I just leave an extra snack that I want to bring the spark back you the minute you need a little animosity. Yeah. What if look at this fucking guy is what eyes often said when you're talking about your wife. No, look at this fucking guys. My wife is can I call my wife? Dude, sometimes when she says something like dude, all right, dude. All right. So this is one of the things that children bring because before it's all like what we're we're going to go to brunch right? It's all brunch and before kid. Yeah, it's all brunch. And what else is there? I don't even know I can't even remember that far brunch and like sex in the kitchen, I guess whatever you fucking want. Somebody emailed me years ago on my blog and said, I'm in my 20s and I don't think I ever want to have kids. Can I be happy without having kids? Yep, after I stopped laughing for like 45 minutes. I responded her. I'm like, can you be happy without having kids? Fuck? Yeah, right 1 million percent my friend. We are at a concert in the in Prospect Park the other day Broken Social Scene shoutout Candace, you're describing your friend group, or I'm describing my friend. Now, this is no this is not her email. This is me. This is not your friend group. This is I don't have a friend group. You guys are it Pete innate and this unnamed Canadian got it. So we were there and he said I don't I was probably bitching about being a parent which what I do and he's child-free as they say and is not going to have kids at this point. And he said the freedom he's like, I love the freedom but every once in a while, I feel a little bit of an emptiness and I said straight to him and I tweeted this reason why I said what I wouldn't give for a little emptiness just to have some space something to you're not worried about your kids all the time. This shit is in your life. You're not fucking stressed out and I don't mean it. I mean I do mean it that's a true. A feeling that I have we're sometimes I wish I didn't have fucking kids because life is easier without kids. I'm not saying if you don't have kids that you're not missing it and there's a lot of people that want to have kids that can't and I mean no disrespect to them. The only people I mean disrespect to her people who call their dogs their kids you better bring that back but I but but on the flip side, I would just say that I think that through all the bitching through all the there is a lot of like fuck this fuck that but I do think that there is I get it Used a sense of completeness having this brute this crew of people that are now living in my house a lot of Hendon on you. Yeah, a lot of them are not paying any kind of sort of rent or and a lot of them are all of them. I mean look, I don't want to name names but maybe names. Okay, there's two of them Greg grab fucking freeloader like father like son. I guess I'm the fathers and honestly Gustavo so no, but I think the I think part of it is is okay. No, you've decided to have kids with your partner. It's for the all for all intensive purposes. It's a it's been a good thing. It's a great thing but here's the deal. There is 98% is hard fucking work knots that the day-to-day of its is its work and what the and what happens is there's repercussions. So your son is, you know, someone's crying someone's having a bad day. Someone's just asking the shitload of questions and like and then you're dealing with the other person who's also crying. You're like, can you Just fucking give me one fucking my Cleo. My my toddler's been up to lately. But that's all you need to do is my toddler and all we need to do is then Daddy what time is it? 3:17? Why don't I can't answer that question because the rotation of the fucking Earth, I don't know. I don't know. Why why it's 317. All right. So look, I don't want to make it look like I'm not all about like me wanted to be the truth teller or the suits are the new Miss Cleo of there's nothing there's a big benefit to me and we get into it. I think one of the benefits of Seeing and being real good parenting is the stress relief you get from it. It's one of my major stress relievers and I said this on an Instagram. I posted something on scary. Mommy. They posted a meme about how if you bitch about your kids. It doesn't mean you don't love them, which is my entire mission statement and I should sue them for fucking plagiarism. Somebody was like and I wrote on I'm like, I'm like it stress relief. It's great. And somebody was like, yeah, there's other ways to get stress relief, you know what to each their own. Yeah, right. I don't fucking bitch on you for going under the bridge. In shooting some heroin into your veins. It was Anthony Kiedis. I'm sorry. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you know, what if you want to go to the gym and eat healthy and like live a really put more power to you man. That's don't want to hang out what you Mike took the blue pill. Yeah, exactly. Right? So real a lot of people so I asked the question. I'm like Pro. I will what are the pros and cons of venting. Do you prefer parents who tell the truth versus parents who sugarcoat all the shit, right? So one of the major themes was the stress release that comes from it. So Mary case. Spitfire said if I can't complain about the reality of parenting I die from stress overload, which I agree with 100% which is so much of what I write is, you know as they say in your home your Homeland taking the piss right? I'm just fucking around to get you know, some relief from the grind of it. It's hard work with these fragile people depending on you at all times and all this shit sucks. Also, I will all just say it's also really hard to really kind of Crush on your kids when you're with your wife or with your spouse because it's like you're just trying to get what you need is a separate secondary Outlet where it's just like this is how you mean like you can't talk shit about your kids where your home with them. You can't be it's not a contest on a fun conversation. Look at what that guy's well, it's important to marry somebody who understands that if you're talking shit, you're just talking shit. You don't actually hate your children and it and it's a thing. I say all the time the same way that like dads get mad about how they're portrayed on sitcoms in commercials. I'm like look, I don't care if you call me a babysitter at the park or whatever if my wife and kids know I love them and think I'm doing a good job. You know, that's fine for me. Right? So ali-frazier 921 says I have a group text with three other mom friends so that when we have hard days we can text each other and vent about are a whole kids with no judgment. She's like, I don't think I could have made it through the first six years of motherhood without those male, which is the entire reason. I have a grown a community is that people appreciate the fact that whether they think I'm telling the truth They're not it's something that they appreciate hearing because it's hard for for a lot of them to say it. Well, that's what that's what I'm saying. You can't just necessarily come out and be like look at this fucking dick. Oh, yeah. What a fucking bitch ass. Just constantly constantly asking the same fucking question won't sit down. Oh, he wants a show. Look he hasn't finished his dinner if you're walking around her. So he's playing with his Beyblades fuck out of here late. If you're with the wrong person or like a friend that you don't know that while yet and you like talk a little Bit of shit about your kids and they're like taking a back. We're not hanging out anymore. Sorry. Yeah, I mean if you can't, oh, they can't tell the difference between your was like venting and like like I don't hate my kids just because I say, he's a fucking dipshit. Guess what? This is all kids are dip shits. This is the worst thing you can do because it's a story about a story but a friend of mine was at a party and said and basically said my kids my big kids being a total asshole and the person who's telling, you know, it shut that whole conversation. Yeah person said what's wrong with you and then my friend said What's wrong with you? And there's a huge gang fight, but then it turned into a dance-off anyway back to you - oh, that's funny. So I'm going to jump ahead a little bit. So little charmer 80 who was one of the MVPs of last week's picky eaters podcast said that people who never break character annoy me so she gave a scenario. She's like you're at the park kids are being douchey, right you maybe your kids are interacting. You don't know each other that well, so you make eye contact with the other parent, right? There's kind of two possibilities if you both roll your eyes and then start a conversation about how kids are assholes are what are you going to do kind of thing or you smile and support? And they look away like you're testing the waters and they look away as if they don't think their kids and asshole right like, you know, your kids being a dick. I'm not blaming you or your kid because kids are just dick admit it. Yeah, what's the harm in like admitting it and acknowledging the fact that your kid and all kids are fucking pricks. They're like little caveman. They don't know how to behave the now there is a we have this on helicopter parents a little more we touched on it, but I didn't really go into it that much but there's the antithesis to the helicopter. Which is whether the free-range parent, well, not necessarily free range. It's the one where it's your kids constantly being the dick to the other but it's like whatever like the kid just wants to share the truck and just he wanted he grabbed it and don't you know, you don't have to rush in the point is your car as a parent you're when your kid is a toddler from you know zero to toddler age, even though you know, whatever you need eight. I mean this is it gets a fucking decade. They get some free range. They get a lot of leeway. You're constantly just monitoring. Everything they do every single second of have to or they'll have the time the time the time the time the time zone the Ford in the tines all mine all mine. That's in reference for someone. That was Ash. Absolutely shitty references good. So check your kids at the door says you have to vent and complain or else you take it out on the kids and y'all yeah exactly. I agree with that except. It doesn't affect how much I owe my kids. I yell about them. Not you know what I tried to do. I tried to be super nice to my kids like how you guys could you I was just like fuck this I do that sometimes when you went Hulk mode. Yeah, I just Hot doubts. I was like fuck this Hulk smash. So Sara Lee Contreras. She actually quoted kind of so, I've given a couple best man speeches in my life. My dad gave me this quote once in the quote is like when you're giving the toast, you know, A wise man once said a Joy shared is twice the joy or happiness shared is twice that happiness and sadness shared is half as sad and Sara Lee Contreras who's a valuable contributor said grief shared his grief diminished which is where she says like you ven. Vent and you guys can commiserate with each other about my kids are dick. So your kids are dicks too like we can all agree but it's a different well, but personal wait a second your kid will sit and eat but won't sleep my kid will sleep but won't eat exactly. Okay. Well, so that's the stress release of it as of being able to vent and have a judgment-free Zone which my Instagram page if you're looking for one my Instagram page my blog my Twitter. I don't judge anybody for talking shit about their kids. What about you didn't mention you do this more than anybody my Facebook page as well. You might like to go talk. I don't have Tick Tock yet. I'm too old for tonight dances. I've never played for a night in my life. Okay, and I don't dance. So anyway, Paula Paul skis one of our patrons said that after I had my kids so this is the dark side of that after I had my kid. I thought complaining wasn't okay. It really messed me up. Mentally. He got rid of Facebook because he couldn't stand all the fake happy parents like the fake happy all the time parents and that's where it's detrimental to hold it in and act like you love it all the time because you I think you're supposed to love it all the time because it's a negative thing you get the stigma if you're the parent who talk shit. I think this is I think that's really the most that's the most unhealthy thing now social media makes it work it precisely it's not meant obviously it's not the the prime directive is not for that account is not necessarily meant to be like, hey look at me but in some ways it is and right let's kind of fucked up. I just stumbled across and this is like last week. I just stumbled across this account of this couple that I married. No. My first time Mom and Barry you got a chick. That's great. Yeah, some people say she's funnier than me. She had a loaded her. So she there an upper west side couple. I'm not I don't even know what their handle is and it's like the most beautiful couple you've ever seen and they are super young and they have this like the young family which I can only like they're so young all of the fact there's like four kids. Yeah all under eight. I can only imagine the amount of yeah, fuck this and fuck that however, not online. Fine everyone looks fucking beautiful. Everyone's like I love they even did a video a literally a video of them making pancakes and I was like fuck all of this because this is none of this a lot. You know, it's a lot of other there's two things either. I desperately need their kids because it's the best. Well, they are the odds of all time. Yeah, and there they can eat properly and they can sit at or it was a total load of shit and I was pretty much convinced that it was most likely a total of shit. But that's the problem because like you can't look at someone else when you look at someone else in there having a great time you that makes it about yourself shit when you look at someone else who's like man this shit is hard. You're like fuck. Yeah, it's hard. It's the same thing when you see like when are especially this is especially true for women when you see like an airbrushed photo of a celebrity or you think a celebrity you're like, oh this celebrity had two kids and looks great and they look great in this movie. Guess what? They have a fucking personal trainer exact personal chef their entire job is working out so they look good on a 50-foot screen Baba. So I went on that cruise last year that Royal Caribbean. Yeah, we get it my best vacation in my life. Did we get it it was a media crews in there a bunch of social media people on it. I don't know how I got invited. I had I wasn't even verified yet. I'm verified now by the way blue check mark. Yeah don't point at me. Thanks mate. How's your blog do so, oh my god. Wow that hurt. So there are a couple there were a couple of Instagram families. Yep, Instagram women with their families who had over a million followers. Who were they just the most? Holy shit. Didn't listen to this listen to this they sequester themselves from everybody else on the trip, right? They like they always hung up we get back something behind ya. I tell you who they are. I don't know but we'll get some dirt to families that knew each other and we're friendly they live in the same area. They have the same lifestyle their big-time Instagram influencers fashion, all that shit over a million followers. All their photos are fucking picture. Perfect, right they are on this on the cruise there on the excursions that were on there all with us, although they're not interacting. They're only interact with each other. Because the rest of us the fucking hallway polloi, you know, they don't want anything to do with us. Everything is fucking super staged and regimented and their kids have fucking running around like crazy. It's all bullshit at one point. One of the kids has like ice cream cone. It's fucking all over her right and the moms like they make the moms like make them take off the clothes because those clothes are needed for like their photo shoot. It's all bullshit. Right? There kids are just like everybody else's kids, but they have to put up this front of everything being so fucking perfect couldn't imagine anything. You want to know by now that I couldn't imagine anything? No, I first of all I can't imagine a he'll work and having them take any two fake. It's not fun for anybody. So your kids are going to be fucking damage when I go out. I'm like these flying kids are gonna be damaged too, but for like legitimate ways not like bullshit Instagram celebrity ways. Although we'll see if I get and I got close to a million say yeah. We'll see. Yeah, so so there's a little a ballast abhilash 18 says the she thinks that not talking about like the reality is and how much you like the challenges in your struggles with parenting can contribute to postpartum disorder, which is another reason. I think this is important, right? So like we're going to get into the solidarity section. We're finding your tribe and being able to relate to people who make you feel like you're not alone and what you're feeling is normal is big if you don't feel as normal if you feel like you're a fucking shitty mom because you feel like your negative emotions towards you know, I'm exhausted. I don't want to have to change. This kid's diaper. I don't want to have to get up the middle like this. Ox guess what it actually does suck. Right, right. It's amazing to have a kid and you love your kid, but doing that shit and all the grind especially the baby parts of it at the beginning when you're making that first lifestyle LIF lifestyle leap. That shit sucks. I've said it before I'll say it again. I'll say it again, you know, the Geneva Convention says that sleep deprivation is a form of torture. There you go. And for I don't know, what do you want to call it? Three years four years your life. Yeah. You're still collapse with One kid and then you kind of pile that on. I'm just telling you like that this not being able to acknowledge that makes you feel like you're crazy. Alright, so here's what you got you got, you know your wife or your partner who's just given birth their bodies are filled with hormones that are like completely. Yeah all sorts of things. You don't know what's happening. All you know, is that eight months, you know prior to the baby coming you absolutely have to paint the molding a certain color. Yeah. Otherwise this baby's not Reason, did you give me survive the yeah, well, that's what if the trim if it's a wall nose has been fucking bubble in it. The this Baby's this baby's going down. Yeah. So the point is you're dealing with stuff that you know, mom's dealing with stuff and then you're just like you're in it for four years and then it's like, oh you got to have a relationship as well on top of that right guys. This shit is you can acknowledge it admit it right? You don't get to make somebody feel like they're crazy because they can emit parenting is hard. It's literally like the fucking Thing in the world to do so. I got a comment from somebody who wanted to remain anonymous. So she said she didn't want to have kids. She told the friend why she said she was afraid to be a bad mom. She had a couple of tough experiences when she was younger. I think her mom was sick and she had to like take care of teenagers and she was like, I'm scared. I'm gonna be a bad mom and her friend was like look I have those feelings to my kids make me angry. It's totally normal. She's like, I would never have become a mom if my friend hadn't been like a real with me and told me that shit. It was Radical idea to me that other Might yell and be frustrated by their kids. It's a relief to not be alone. Yeah, right and that's one of the reasons I do this not just for me to vent and because I like to write unbelievably hilarious jokes. But yeah, I just can't help but you're also the Mother Teresa of parenting. I'm the Miss Cleo. Don't get it twisted, right? So oh hey, yeah ODOT. Hey dot. Ah, I know. She's like an outcast fan says there's something comforting knowing other people's kids are just as annoying and loony as yours and that drinking as a coping mechanism. Is completely acceptable right? That's another thing I talk about a lot of parents do and a lot of people exaggerate about how much they drink and even I exaggerated a little bit of how much I drink I'm in my early 40s fucking kills me the next day to be hungover and stuff. But you know, I can handle eight nine ten eleven Bourbons, right? Okay. I'm on you know, I don't exaggerate about how much I drink just so again, it's like the solidarity of like, oh this person feels the same way and handles it the same way. I'm not so alone. Jeanne 6 says, I think it's healthy to be realistic. I love Boys, but there are no Angels they bring so much to my life again. I don't feel the need like I understand this. I don't put those disclaimers out. I most of my shit right because I'm like again as long as my parent my my my wife and my kids know I love them. I don't feel the need to constantly fucking defend myself, right? I'm making jokes if you can't realize it's a joke, that's your problem. But she's like I would be a horrible stay-at-home mom, you know, we all Thrive when they are in school and daycare and they're not subjecting me to their constant screaming arguing as smart as comments. Like that's why I wrote my Just a couple of weeks ago. I'm not a good my temperament isn't well suited for being a stay-at-home dad. It doesn't mean I don't love my kids, but then I'm not a good dad. I'm just not as good at some aspects of it. And in order to help myself be better. I fucking trash my kids every goddamn chance. I guess people people, you know, the stay-at-home thing. I think people do it for different reasons, you know not well some in some cases. It's a necessity. Of course, of course, sometimes it's a necessity but other times, you know, I think and I feel for You know, I work in the corporate environment and I feel bad when you know moms make the decision to go back to work after a certain period they feel really you know, Mom both Is Real at the same time there. They they just know in themselves that being at work is actually helps them survive the helps them. So my wife is going through there right now. She just went back to work. Yeah, and it's been tough because you know, my fucking toddler lays it on. I miss you don't go that kind of shit and especially it's summer so there Home and my wife loves summer Mama buried love summer and doing shit with them and then she's at the door and she's like, oh my God, I feel so bad and they immediately start screaming and she's like peace out the fuck. You know, it's tough to go to work, you know work is work, you know, even if it's the best job in the world that still work and then in our Instagram story she was like, but you know, I just left the house and they're all fucking screaming in my husband's face me being the husband, you know, Dan and were you able to say have fun in your happy place and your quote-unquote? Well that you feel great. Do you ever go in there? No, I don't. I don't interact with her as low as possible, which is even the more I stay asleep until she's gone and I get up. Yeah, which was the same thing when I went to work. I handle the kids breakfast and got them up and get them ready for school and let her sleep as long as well. She has Ms. I'm just lazy and deadbeat husband. But you know, I've been the guy who goes to work and comes home and deals with the dregs, but I still like being at work having adult conversations not being home with the kids and having to fill their time all the time. I know what that's like and it's definitely it can be a relief. Yeah, and you know for moms that may be a little bit harder. We're going to get into that who has it harder when it comes to like complaining and you can get away with it better. So so the girl who fell from a star is kind of a new followers you may have been following me for a while, but she started a comment and she's had some pretty pretty incisive stuff insightful stuff and incisive stuff where she said I think a lot of parents have a ton of guilt that they have these normal feelings. So they lash out at those who joke about it to make themselves feel like if I disagree with them, it's like me. Rejecting the idea that that's how I feel right? So she's basically saying she was just trying to do my Instagram post today where people were giving me shit for admitting that parenting is hard or venting about insane complaining is okay and she's like these people are so insecure kind of and they're worried about their own feelings that they're like if I reject the premise right? Maybe it makes me feel like a better parent and I feel I think she's probably right but that's one of the reasons I do my shit is to let people know. This is okay. I don't fucking actually hate my kids newsflash. Yeah, right. It is actually that's actually is a new / it is enough. If you didn't know people I don't actually hate my kid. Did I just hate picking so Kato till the cows come home and have a real problem with the with the Cato thinking kiddo people eat cows. Can they eat meat? I don't know. Yeah, we went through the food group. Yeah, of course. Yeah, definitely so it's mostly me. It's definitely she says honest parents make me feel normal. I think it's essential to find another parent event complain to and that's another thing. You need to find your tribe, right? So like again like we talked about earlier if you're talking shit and the people don't get it that can make you feel even worse which is why I think a lot of parents especially like stay-at-home moms and dads. They've been gravitating to Instagram accounts and the Facebook pages and finding people who they relate to that way. Even if you don't know them in real life, there's the solidarity of I can make this joke about my kid and this person is not going to judge me for okay, so so we talked a little bit about the moms to go to work, but then there's the mom stayed home and when those two moms interact they come at it differently on the we definitely rights on the Weekend the moms to stay at home or like fuck this noise and the moms that have been or just a matter if it's just moms. But yeah, well my wife and I are dealing with this now. Yeah, my point being is that the person who's been staying at home has the guild and the person you know, I'm the same way when I come I expect to be handed three kids already walked in the door. Yeah children and I've just kind of you know, it's taken a while, but I've gotten used to that. Yeah and same with the weekend. So the point being is I'm at work all day coma night dealing with the kids on the weekend. There's basically There's no hope right? Like I've just I said, goodbye to that of not guess like scour watch porn alcohol. I found alcohol in it was a wonderful deadens the sense exactly. But the point I was going to try and make is that you know, when and I've seen this is when my wife who stays at home and is with the kids all day and she's with you know, when she has conversations with, you know felt her mom friends that are at work, you know, they're very doting and they're like, yeah and they like really are trying to make up for it. Whereas my mom. He's just like I've got my felt got it is this yeah. It's kind of like I don't really know. I don't really want to do that or I don't really want to go there. I don't read so I'm at home now and my wife has a little bit of the guilt of being at work. So like when she's home with them, she was like maximize their time and shit and I'm just kind of like done with him. Yeah maximum over it maximizes away. Yeah, you take the kids know that they don't always involves me. So Beth cat flan 7 says that she's European. So complaining it's just part of her their her life and another chance to bond. So I thought maybe you could relate to that a little bit we should Should move to Europe I'm starting to think that I might be your so a book where 8 says that parenting is hard and sharing it makes a little easier which is really what it all comes down to right stress relief solidarity finding your tribe, right? So another aspect of this is the unrealistic expectations, right? So, Like we were talking about with those Instagram accounts or that Facebook account that you follow the Upper West Side people is that Instagram? Yes, but it was Instagram they make it seem like this is how life is supposed to be and you're somehow failing if that's not the case, right? Everyone's beautiful which is why honesty is so important, right? So Ali Frazier who 921 we mentioned earlier so she wants honesty all the way because she wants to know what to expect. She doesn't want to be surprised. Right and I agree with that too. Right? So if you're about to have a kid and somebody's like, oh, it's the most amazing thing in the world is going to change your life for the better like I understand that but give me the details. Give me the nitty-gritty. Yeah, right. So the girl who fell from a star we mentioned earlier as well said every time a parent is honest about their struggles or anything about parenting it allows other parents to not put so much pressure on themselves to live up to this fake idea of what a good parent is if we all walk around saying our kids don't watch TV or eat Happy Meal sometimes or we never get angry or stressed because they're such Angels then we all feel like we're failing a lot more than we actually are exact right? So I don't understand sugarcoating doesn't do anybody any good your Lying to yourself you're lying to other people. Are you trying to trick people into having kids so that they can like be as miserable as you well. What's interesting is so I was just thinking about this the other day is you know, divorce rates are actually slowing down there stopping. So if you when we were growing up divorced but aren't procreation rates slowing down to yeah, it's all related. I believe because the point, you know, the point is if you know 70s 80s 90s, you know, everyone is trying to put on this Happy face. Happy face of like everything's fine. When I think you said a story when you were in your friend's basement or something in the mom came home and I was like fuck, you know, it was like yeah. Yeah. Yeah the shit out of you but the point is is that's probably because that was the only way and time and place that that he had to let him loose. Yeah because she didn't have a block like a renowned blog that was verified on Instagram. Yeah, or or even just like yeah look at like a spray paint Hobby where she could tag, or she may have I don't know. Her street tag when a bad but I think that that's really something that's kind of coming to the with the Advent of social media being able to talk and be a little bit more of those those folks that are more real and more open. I feel like I have a better shot at being able it's funny because there are still a ton of those fake accounts like the people that putting on a show that do really really well and I don't understand who gravitates towards them. Well, well, yeah, I think you don't have to get exactly what I want. I totally do believe though. That that you definitely need the antithesis of what were you know, this is the positivity but I don't because that's why I keep it light-hearted. I'm not just about shitting on my kids. Right? Like I love my kids. They're very cute. And the youngest one is very cute. The other one, I think it's a little bit past his sell-by. Yeah, let's be honest, but I think but I think if you do it, right the love you have your kids shines through and the way I always say about it is The the Peaks are really really high like the good parts are unbelievably good. They're just rare, right but they make the shitty Parts which are it's just a consistent drumbeat. Right? Let's say make it worth it kind of and I don't like to say that it's worth it because everybody gets it I would say they make it less shitty. I think the the the most important mean look it just erases the badge that you felt for the last three days like one good hug from your toddler or one like cute bonding. You're like, all right. This is why I do this. It releases the endorphins and the other shit melts away and then it lets you you can you're like regenerated rejuvenate it for the next exactly. There's a base feeling of being complete or like, you know, feeling you know, at least very satisfied with your decision, right and then all of a sudden I did the right thing and then all of a sudden it's like no honestly, I didn't that you're hugging too tight. Yeah, exactly like gonna come on bedtime. Yeah, you're on my nads. Yeah. So another interesting aspect of this. Is Cafe and seven says she likes realness and facts. I want to know about your kids shooting on the rug and what carpet cleaner actually fucking works for that. Right? Right. Like I don't want to hear. Oh my kid never sits on the rug know if your kitchen of the rug fucking tell me the truth and tell me I'm not going to be like turned off. I want to hear about your miscarriage your postpartum anxiety and how you manage right pretending. You don't have those feelings doesn't do anybody any good keeping everybody in the dark isolates yourself and when you were to share this stuff, it removes the stigma. Guess what fucking everybody I know has some fucking form. Anxiety or depression or whatever it's called living in 2019. Yeah in America like James Brown Living in a man you ever see Russell foreign cycle letting Rocky for yeah, come on, dude. I've seen all the Rockies but I don't remember any of them. They all seem the same. Oh my God, you're a while God Polly Polly dies in one of them. I don't know. He was my favorite character. Paulie's around until fucking Rocky Balboa. I think even you know what? I know. I just said that because I wanted to see Burt Young is a National Treasure. All right. So this is the funny part. So I asked people to list the most annoying lies other parents tell them stuff that maybe they realized relies after the fact right? So read teach shoot who I was nervous might be like a gun enthusiast is actually a photographer says anybody who says parenting is always a fun filled day of love and wonder is clearly on And I want some of it right so she's like obviously once you have kids you realize this is all bullshit, which is where we're coming from. Like we know it's bullshit. Like you said about that couple. We know you're fucking Faking It California Arkansas says that she hates when people say sleep when the baby sleeps. Oh fuck off a not only is that usually impractical you need to get some shit done. Exactly. You also want some time alone. And that's your only chance when the baby's asleep you maybe you want to watch fucking you know, what it's like episode of dark. It's like Putting on the oxygen mask on yourself before your kids, right you need to you need self-care in order to care for them. But what they don't tell you is how long you have to wait in between putting on your own mask. They don't even wait as long as you can really last possible second. Like it's gas really stretch it out and then you end it with and that's why you don't leave the air conditioning on exactly. That's what you always leave a note. So M McCoy says she hates people say cherish every moment. No, guess what? I'm not going to fucking cherish them on more. Could shit on the rug right the other day, we're still teaching the hammer to potty train. So he's wearing like underwear around the house. You just fucking pissed all over the floor. Guess what this isn't going in the fucking scrapbook Right cleaning up his piss off the floor is in a moment for me to cherish. Yeah. Maybe I'll look back and be like, oh, he was really cute as a toddler. That's not the same thing Allison H dot Ryan says, why do parents pretend they know what they're doing all the time. I've never done that that was the third aspect of my blog. I was always like well, let me do not an expert will hold on a second to my kids I man. Expert on phone. Uh, yeah, but she's talking about parents to other parents. Oh, nobody knows that they doing you're not even gonna know for fucking 30 years if what you did worked who would weird in? Yeah exactly. My parents still don't know I just posted a comment ice cream on my parents are still like he's 42. Let's see how this turns out. Actually I I've had that realization about my parents where I'm like wait, I don't think they know. Yeah, they like I actually think they're like making beer know what it does show even to this day. Yeah to this day. So here's a popular one. Oh, hey. We met early says she hates being told each age is better than one than the one before. She's like. My kids have been batshit crazy. She said BSC which I assume meant batshit crazy at every age so far. She prefers honesty. Just tell it like it is in my experience every age gets worse. It's not so much that it gets worse. Is that the challenges change right? So when you have a baby and we get into this a little bit like a lot of people are angry when somebody says the baby part is the hardest some people are angry when they say the baby part is the easiest right? It's different for everybody shifting to suddenly not from not having kids to having a She is a major lifestyle change being sleep-deprived all that shit. But in my opinion it's not until they have minds of their own. She's minds of their own and personalities and started out that it really gets hard because you're suddenly dealing with a person and it's harder to get them and do what you want when you're just carrying around a baby. It's inconvenient and stressful for a variety of ways, but you don't have to worry so much about like them drinking too much and like drive and I'm not even at that stage yet. It's just gonna get worse favorite phase of like the new parent we've talked about this. That like to to month phase where you like we got this. Yeah, we just forget it out. Ya ever. How hard could this possibly be? Every time you think you have a handle on it? This shit the phase shift. So Danio Beach says that when her kid was a baby she barely slept at a hard time breastfeeding was having crazy sweating was even having hallucinations that our son was dead. She was super emotional just the whole child birthing fucked her up, right? She said all her family and friends were like, oh it's so great in the beginning. All they do is sleep fuck, you know, like no one wants to hear that. Right. It's not the same for everybody. Don't lie. All they do is sleep the it's not the case well from and she says lies and pizza pies. I've never heard that you ever heard that phrase before maybe it was weird. Maybe there is something lies and pizza pies. But the only the only thing that I would say is is when you do have a newborn that's the time to go out. Yeah, you know, what a restaurant we live in Park Slope bring a baby of the baby's gonna sleep. Yes, because when they were a toddler and they want to run around and you can't hold on that stuff so mrs. Shaw says she hate it when she's told this too shall pass. My dad says that to me sometimes I actually find that to be fairly valuable. If sometimes you you're stuck in the middle of something and you're like at least it's going to end some day, but when you're in it, you're like fuck you right? I'm dealing with this shit. Don't tell me that Amy Lange glaze. I don't know says she hates the lies about genders girls are easier than boys. She was scared. You were black. So I don't want to do we're going to do it. I don't I can't speak to girls. I don't have girls are not going to speak out of turn. But I've heard that myself that like When girls are little they're easier than boys blah blah blah and then there's a lot of dads who are nervous about girls being teenagers. You know, what fuck you Dad? Absolutely. Yeah, that's inaccurate exact and what it comes down to is personality type. So is one of my pet peeves so n n BEC 20 says no one told me how little sleep I would get forever. The thing that annoyed me is that people always say like catch up on sleep or Bank your sleep before you have your kid don't like Bank. You don't tell me that it's impossible to do you don't that's not hiking 24 hours of sleep yesterday is not going to affect me tomorrow. Right know what you take what you should tell them to do is hey, you're not going to get any sleep and you're going to have to fucking keep a kid alive and function on little sleep. So try that like get used to that. That's what you should be doing practicing living your life on as little sleep as possible so you can get used to that because you're not banking sleep. It's not real. Yeah, I can't do that. Now we'll also at the same time. Don't forget that you've you're with someone who's now carried a baby for nine months. It's already started everything Dad. Yeah that purse beginning the beginning. Yeah happen, and it's already you're just Getting a little preview, but you just don't know exactly how it's all going to turn. So Christina and Valentine says anyone who says they have it easy as tons of family helped the Lucky Bastards. We went over this couple of weeks ago. Absolutely, right? Yes, here here. It does make it a lot easier the the free Family help. So BR Sheehan BR Sheehan says the biggest lie that he or she hates his I fell in love with my child the moment. I laid eyes on him or her eye. This is this is so important it is so important. II blobs yeah, I had almost no connection to I think it's different for dads. I wrote a blog post about this one's about how like it's okay to hate your baby was the provocative title of it being like moms have like, of course nine months biological. It's on real exact. There's a little fall down An Elevator Shaft. Yeah, there's literal hormones that are released in both. You have the same body. Yeah, and then when the when the baby latches on it becomes like a symbiotic relationship it yeah, it's amazing. It's for us. It's like we don't have a A baby then suddenly we fucking do yeah exactly. You can read all the books. You want the reality hits you like a fucking slap in the face. I remember being I don't have a problem with I like in the kid that much no personality for months, but my eldest daughter was first built literally in the hospital first born. I remember holding her and asked him if you want a sandwich or you hungry or she cannot because I actually would I'm gonna get ahead out. I'm gonna go just quick to run and get a sub real quick. Did you guys how are you gonna get meatball just a little meatball sub and just maybe I'll eat it over the my wife offered like we were going to order some food today. Where I left and she was like you want a meatball sub and like it's fucking 95°. I don't want a meatball sub right now. I'll take the matzo soup is what you said. I've had much as hope you like it. Yeah, it's great. Okay Sarge was one of those people that says she hates it when it makes like sound like babies with the hardest thing ever is like no it gets worse with age. So I wanted to give sergeant of the shout out because we don't talk about him enough except constantly 13 Lego 1311 says it gets better fuck. No, it just changes in your ability to deal with the changes to which is totally true Everything changes every time you think you got it. Handle on it it changes or something new to deal with it. Just your life though, right? That's what makes it easier. She says so your ability to deal with the changes to once you have a kid. Like I remember being really worried about what its gonna be. Like when I have a kid once you have a kid you just deal with it. You have no choice you learn how to cope right? It's just your life. Yeah, totally. I mean, I think the what it comes down to is, you know, the difference between the dads and the moms and kind of who has it better who are not who has a better but rather like you can get away with bitching. A little bit more easily. Yeah, so I got a bunch of comments like that where a bunch of people were like So somebody I posted the stay-at-home dad thing and somebody responded with it was an MVP comment. She said Mommy Instagram is like my kids are terrorists and I wish I could sell them into slavery and everyone's like aah ha that's hilarious. And then she said when I said stayed on parenting is hard enough being vulnerable about everyone was like go died. You asshole. That's right. So a lot of people were saying like it's harder for moms in my experience. I get a lot of flack for being honest and real and talking shit, but I get a lot of that flak on Mom Pages sometimes I A core from moms because I think they don't have it as easily as I do right. They can't bitches easily because you're supposed to have that bond that profound bond with your baby from day one if you're a mom and if you do talk shit, so Buttercup, Marina says, I think it's harder for moms because Society expects us to be submissive and totally devoted to our kids. We're supposed to take care of them and not complain. She even said that some people said to her that she complain too much about having kids for somebody who was like cause she cried and begged to be pregnant. Aunt and then when she had the kid, she was complaining people like what the fuck you can play for. That's bullshit. Yeah, right. You don't know what you're you know one knows really what they're getting into until you actually have the kid. It's like in Pulp Fiction. John Travolta says to Uma Thurman, you gotta promise. I'm gonna tell you something you gotta promise not to be offended. She's like no. She's like, I can't promise not to be offended. I don't know what you're gonna say. So you might say something to me and by no fault of my own. I'm offended. That's my natural reaction, right? You can't get mad at me for being offended right? So when somebody has a kid you can be like Oh, I'm gonna be the best mom. Going to be so easy. And then you have the kidney realize oh shit. I was wrong. This is different than I thought you can't come down on somebody for that man. You are a sous there. You just weave I am Pulp Fiction right into that stone. You know, it's Tarantino time. I haven't seen that new one yet. I hope to see it this weekend. So cheesy favor says that it's more pressure for moms or sugar-coated. It's more socially acceptable for dads to complain which is again where I say, I get a lot of shit for complaining maybe not as much as Mom would get there is a lot of Parental judgment just in general for everybody Sarge brings that up is that it's hard to be honest. The Judgment of others. I have sort of a thick skin. I do it in character a little bit even though you're saying in the live before that the very thin character, they're very small but I like I like fucking with the trolls the people don't get it doesn't bother me for the most part when somebody judges me for my parenting. I know I'm doing a good job as again, as long as my wife and kids are into it. Everybody has a hard time dealing with the Judgment of other parents, especially because of social media. It's just everywhere. You can just compare yourself to everybody come down anybody if you don't have your fucking car seat buckled in right? God forbid you fucking make a joke about wanting to sell your kids into slavery or not liking them. Yeah, I mean and every once in a while you'll see, you know, some like an infant in someone's lap as a driving down the highway and you be like now that's a fucking bad parent. Yeah. There are some clear cases of bad parent and many like a baby smoking a cigarette then you shake your head and disapproving you go. I can't believe that fucking person even was allowed to have a baby. So Lauren on his Grove can't like a and then you turn around for a second. Yeah. Shut the fuck. Everything in this car Lauren underscore whole Camp says she's a licensed newborn care specialist. So she thought she knew everything and then she laughed when she had her kids. He was like guess what? I didn't know shit. Yeah, like Uma Thurman Pulp Fiction's out through no fault of her own. Well, she couldn't be different is like reading like the book about how to tango and then actually tangoing and like learning, please tell me you've read a book about how to I have not what's it called? It takes two to tango. It's just an analogy. I use all the time the Tango analogy. I'm reading a book about tank. Yeah that my family. Of they love when I use that analogy. I bet they do. I didn't like it at all. Well, that's good thing that you're not my family yet. So I'm just going to let it sit out there that I said yet. Alright. Well look, obviously, I think I've again lost a good ten pounds. It's okay. Yeah because of the sweat not because the venting got it that would be nice though. If venting relieve stress and also, I believe it does I call this the weight I Feel about 10% better divesting the burden makes you feel better. Yeah, I feel about 10% better. After point is I love venting. It's a stress reliever for me. I think it's a stress reliever for a lot of these people. I think has a lot of benefits. I don't think sugar coating. Does anybody any favors in any way? Nope, if you want to do more venting come over to my Instagram or go to comment on YouTube. We'd love to hear we let me some comments on this. Yeah the YouTube on this episode give us some reviews you can vent about the podcast you can tell us that we blew it. Yep. We totally missed the give us five stars and then say that we blew it. Just DM Mike. I did want to ask Nate really quick does venting about parenting hearing all this shit. You don't have kids. Is it turn you off? Does it scare you about having kids? No. I think it was 10 years ago in my life. Maybe when you were like 20, but how you like when you're 20, you don't know what you're going to be like at 30 or even at 40 sure but that's fucking true. You don't know shit compared to us, right? We're ten years older than this guy. This this bit this bit is good because it obviously doesn't have a microphone. So it's probably almost impossible for most people who maybe if it's fucking somebody would go to patreon where he getting at a microphone. That would be amazing. So if you want to hear more from Pete go to patreon, but if you just want to vent vent about us hit us up in the comments and the reviews on iTunes and Spotify and YouTube spread the word. We were I think we're going to take a seven or eight month Hiatus until it's December. So because I'm literally dying for the third week in a row the hottest it can it is a joke will be back next week. We don't know the topic yet. So if you have topic suggestions Facebook group or hit me up. I got a million different ways. Let's say yes, this this podcast is about you not about I swear just the the Miss Cleo of the soothsayers. That's right. Thanks for joining. Thanks for listening. We hope we made the whole parenting thing a little bit easier for you. Sorry again about how much I'm sweating. I mean you can literally hear it. I think through the microphone. Yeah. It's on my nose. Okay. We'll catch you next week guess.
There's a lot of parental sugar-coating going on. From ads with parents smiling while wiping up messes to IG accounts filled with beautiful families sitting around a table eating. What you don't see is the strung out parents screaming at crying kids because "NO you can't wear your socks on your hands for DINNER!!!" The truth about parenting is out there [SPOILER: It's hard]. Mike And Pete expose it with the help of the D&B Community. Give us your tired; give us your fed up; for together we shall keep it real and bitch about these kids!! 