Welcome to my life's it has applied episode 250. This program is dedicated in loving memory to Catherine Grossman golden mindell bass, Sarah and Edward. Passed away this tenth of other Olive. By her daughter, Karen and her husband Jeff Cohen. As always we begin with a timely discussion. Let me decide living with the times. We're in the week the beginning of the week of parser vehicle being that it's a leap year. So often many of the chapters that are usually read together like vehicle pacu day are separated into two so we read the chapter vehicle. It's also this coming shop is the blessing of the new month of the second order. And it's also posture scrolling which is always either the Shabbos that blesses the month of other in this case other Shaney and or I'm just ready to shudder if it's on the shops, so we'll talk about these matters and their relevant message to us in our personal lives before we get into the discussion itself. I want to again announced that the judges are now sifting through all the essays that came in the hundreds and hundreds of essays they came in From all over the world for this year's fifth annual my life. So this applied essay contest and I'll keep you posted as they're going from the glands that I've had. It looks quite fascinating and quite interesting intriguing original creative. So thank you for that for this contribution in a foot. So somebody on the Switzerland since since I'm already making announcements, let's begin with the fact that my life has supplied is available online all the archives. Plus a form with ask anonymous questions and meaningful live.com my life as well as the essays from previous years as they're posted week after week. We also depend on your support. This is a community supported initiative. So please be generous dedicated program the memory of a loved one in honor of a love them go to meaningful live.com / sponsorship. Okay with that. Let us go right into vehicle. Was provoking the saini and scullin previous episodes where I discuss this were episode 55 105 150 and 200 as I just shared that's all available on our site and when you go to the YouTube version of the video you could see it's all time stamp so you can go straight to the section that you're looking for and and it's discussion so vehicle the year television, man. I'm not in the art of shinmun Base 1992 still echoes in all our psyches. That is the week when the river had the stroke of Zion other that year was also shown the movie Paris and was also partial vehicle was the sharpest before that. That would be the last from Lincoln by yakult option on base the red would speak to us so far and with vehicle. And the rebel emphasized idea of a jackal is out of this, especially when it does not come together with who they and he even edited few short edits on the Mishima the full-blown seizure that dreaded the last one was the week before past you can see so which I'll mention in a moment. But if Viacom was the last one that had been delivered and he did make a few edits the emphasis on by. Yeah kill Unity because we actually means to gather together now, No with the represent tough should have evolved and you'd gimbal neason the birthday the hundredth 100th birthday of that summer sadek was actually the hundred and a hundred yards ahead of the son of zadok, but you'd gimel listen is is is is your site a hundred yards side? I'm sorry. The birthdays are Rosh Hashanah. So the rebel said then that did some exotic had said when he was asked how he could put himself in danger when he negotiates with with in precarious situations. He said to answers. He said I'll answer in the lotion of the gemara with only boys him that I leave the children and he boys same way that the unity of siddim will lead them to Misha so immediately jumps out when you hear vehicle, especially very accurate option on base, which would be 27 years ago. The Rubbermaid that emphasis on Unity the artists of acid in the artists of it which of course makes sense because since the Look some of the best. I mean this was a result of divisiveness Sinners kinam baseless hatred. So, of course the trick when the repair of that is baseless love unity. So there you have the first citizen applied lesson of a aquel the emphasis on Gathering Together on creating keyless coming together just a mere fact of coming together is already and powerful thing as a little Pizzazz and Tanya that that alone Colbert sort of chic intubation idea Colosso - intubate. Sorry, the screen rests on that alone is already a worthwhile Unity. But especially they also come together to learn something and tater to do our to Devon together to do a Mitzvah to give charity. Then it only Excel a amplifies its power. So that's a lesson in unity something that we have to continuously work on. Unfortunately as the rebels said put in Tufts remembered Zion that for no / parent reason there seems to be a challenge in this area of unity. Of true Iverson out of this is role and vehicle captures it all in that one word so we can go into many discussions of what Unity is a shimmer had exceeded explains about a goddess creating unity in a fragmented and Scattered universe, but above all means Unity among each other to be able to not just coexist but understand we need each other we complement each other and get to a place as he says in tiny chapters llama base chapter left after love. Where he talks about what love is it's a good it's a good bottom side. So de La Creme in the language of the Tanya now Shake - masika the goofy TOEFL that when we put we give priority to our soul over our body that is a unifying force because body is divided materialism divides in spirituality connects. And when we look through this with meant to connect to them the shamans and all neshama says you continues on in that chapter explaining how they're really cool. Amisom has and they're all avocado. Ilona the different different language that he uses all focusing and emphasizing on the fact that they're all part of one large organism and me add egg de los animales and we do not know who is the greater one and we don't need to know that the fact is we all complement each other like musical notes indispensable musical notes in a large composition. That's not that analogy and Tanya, but it's analogy that works very beautifully to explain that idea. So if I a kills the first thing to live with the time it's Live with actors with Kayla and recognize that and make us an extra effort to stand on that way. Especially that that was the last message to the dead but his words to us that shop is very a kilt option on base in each column is a similar theme as we spoke last week. Max is a shackle that the two halves which can refer to two halves two people to in the shamans and they unite and they become shackle Shalimar shackle complete circle. We are all needed. We all need the other and the second interpretation. The two halves is the neshamah and a booster which we'll talk about more in the city this question at the end of this week's program. And of course my vodka Mahesh other shiny. So other this year, we have a double audit it's not just quantity. But also quality other missionaries are the Marvin be syndrome when we enter into other we increase in joy and when we have to others we have the 30. We have each day my Olympic a dish we increase and then you have another total of 59 days. So imagine amount of joy and joy is a unifying force. That's why it says the Mitzvah of hypnosis. Arkin is specifically injunctive. It also spills over and sharp as but primarily on yontiff. Why because ain't simplest case is simply cannot be done alone. Oh you next time you consider loan and learn and there's no one else around simcha is celebrated with others. When we have a symptom, we invite friends, we invite guests to invite people even strangers. See this talks about how the Mela is equal treats everyone equally and that type of sense because simcha is a unifier Peters get that as explains in the minds of some of the summer to flesh noon Zion the moment that the brush up said the wedding of the free decodable explaining at length how simpler transcends boundaries and therefore transcends the differences between us. It's a unifier when people dance and celebrate together. And so all theme is Unity Unity Unity is Unity that is this greater strength, and that's why there's the greatest challenge in that area. There's only one way to do it. They'll be deliberate be vigilant and never allowing your own home, especially around the table with your children any type of Russian harder God forbid any type of language that is anyway divisive negative that feeds a any type of element that can separate us always focusing our eat. Of us has a quality that we can learn from a quality that complements us quality that they burst of wants in this world. Everybody has that and we have to focus on that and emphasize that we may have differences of opinion. So in Day saying Chavez people have differences of opinion that doesn't mean that they have a lot of has to be compromised. It doesn't have to be personalized and doesn't have to separate us. It's two opinions on the contrary each opinion in which has the other opinion because when you weigh their opinions and you count them one and you And you direct them one against the other you get out of better idea you get a clear picture. So opinions actually can end up being resulting in a far greater Unity. That's why we say you're a method you Shaney mshulist G. So you a method rain doubtless. God was alone in the universe there was nothing not the reality and they took there's a duality. That's why it doesn't say key to save every day. It says verily Kim God's son and he said it was good. Why can't you say it's good because Duality has the potential to lead. To Discord and divisiveness and Warmack Lakers day 3 is the reconciliation a cost of Ashley. She the third verse as we say every morning comes a mockery of a name. Mediates and reconciles between the two and you get even a deeper understanding of the idea. So 3 is even greater than 1 because 1 there's no other option. You have one opinion to has the possibility to being a conflict and number three is the reconciled to fetes the cover. I'm sorry that goes all the way up over there may not cancel the concert goes to the highest to the lowest because the United all me this AMS the middle of Ms of truth that true out of Memphis. The three letters of em is true from the beginning through the middle to the end second is the letter Shin gu fresh the three letters all the way the end of the alphabet because shekel and a decline for settees doesn't have any legs to stand on so they hang out together because one line needs another light to support it Ms. Spreads out from the first letter aleph mem the middle letter XI letter of the Hebrew alphabet and tough soft the 22nd letter because m is exist Ms. Is throughout if it's m is only one area. It's not completely true Ms. Means that the MS from the beginning through the middle through the end. That's m s so that is connected to a gross and unity the theme that were discussing now and joy, of course coming to put him later in this month put him is also its central theme is a goddess. That's where the missiles are connected to Aldous. They're also the word ke Le the boy, Nicola yahudim. They gathered together number. This is mentions gathering together. Why because because yeah how many had said? Excuse me. Holman said to herself a - when he want the instigate for the garage monolith under total genocide of the Jewish people that yes, 'no I'm a crowd there's one nation. But mahfouz of them is fully renovated ben-amun, they're spread out and before that period between the nation's so we focus on that our method by uniting together and that gives us the strength to overcome any challenge as the put-in miracle was witness to So now that we've gone through that let's go into some questions some new questions some interesting questions some controversial ones and we here we go. Saying how many people can we speak after saying the Bedtime Apple prayer? Hello, Robbie Jacobson. This question that I'm writing about is a very personal question that has been on my mind since I got married since I got married and I never asked anyone due to being shy or due to its Sensitivity. I was brought up always knowing that before you go to sleep. You say I'm a pill a map. Of course the last prayer in the Shema. And once you say it, you are not supposed to speak talk. I've learned about the importance of saying this blessing in the beautiful meaning of its words once I got married. I stopped saying it because when you lay in bed you speak Etc, you're not permitted to say a blessing at the point when you're ready to fall asleep being that citizens been to be part of your lifestyle throughout the whole day. And especially when you go to sleep, can you please provide insight into this? Thank you. So yes, I'm a pill said and the customers that afterwards you don't speak. However, we have it's simply a locker now code a few sources that if for example even after someone's asthma even after somebody says I'm a pill it says post there's a possum say That if a person has a particular need he's for example of gets very thirsty or hungry. Or in the case where somebody asked the question is emergency situation. And so I may call you you're allowed to. You're allowed to speak afterwards as well. Some say should say smile again. Now. The reason for this is because in Part II is two opinions and I'm Apple. Why are you saying it? Are you saying it about yourself that you are not playing to God that your God is taking your soul and therefore taking your speech and your now finishing your day. And therefore it applies to you or is it talking about? None of the individual of the person but in the general world that the world is going into a slumber. So of course if it's the second then it's not so much about you saying I will not speak. It's more about the world in general in the world is going to sleep and that's what you acknowledged. So therefore there is a difference of opinion of how how severe how much money are they about this have sex with him saying after I'm Apple Okay, here's some sources L your rubber. Semen cough, cough. Llama Ralph's of cotton chemo. It's 131 3 Mark Hyman kids a lot of the ivanson is Sid. The beard had grown soft semen tough on the base. and many more In the mission of Buddha, he talks about it as well. And he says you should say she my again if you need to be masek. He brings other sources for all practical purposes. Let's see this and this of course is being said in the proper modesty necessary the husband and wife are together, especially if it's a Mitzvah to be together. Obviously that that that it takes priority over everything. When do you say Shema you could say beforehand you can say that afterwards but there's a chance that people will fall asleep afterwards. So the connection a husband and wife. Maybe speaking obviously is number one. So either you say that my bill earlier and it's better to say that my pal afterwards. Obviously. If you said earlier that would probably go into a category where you could take a break or maybe you don't have to speak afterwards. So that is a matter that the discretion of each individual. I don't know if there's a clear black and white a lock around it, but overall the key point is to remember that you're acknowledging by not speaking the union Summit returning Tosh and beautiful. Rookie, you're turning your spirit to God for protection and no matter how you learn how mapple whether it's on you as an individual or the world. That's the main thing to remember if there are circumstances. We see clearly poskim say that you could take a you could speak afterwards and some say you say she may have as always these type of questions should be addressed to our Ralph if you have something specific because I'm talking the general concept here without the specific details and I love can give you a more clear directive, which is always what's necessary. In this context, okay. as far as this is supplied the regard to this look speech is where call them adopted a human being is a Macabre why we call them adapt because been Double Dipper captures, the essence of we human beings are the ability to speak to another person why we call a moskal even though cycle is also our unique quality, but Dibble is not just you have intelligence, but you have the ability to transcend yourself as the lab explains a number of places and speak to another speech and communication is what allows us to be really The social entity that we are the ability to have relationships the ability to marry and all that comes with it. So in a sense when we are saying goodbye to the day. Thanks Mama. We say also goodbye to our speech and I speech goes until world of my Java just like see the speaks about a Lamar so vanilla Maddie Boer and the de Brasil 2 marks over and you don't go back down to deeper until later. So but obviously there are circumstances extenuating circumstances where one can Do that with all the proper qualifications that I mentioned before. Okay. Next question should do him. What am I supposed to do when nothing seems to work? Hi Rabbi Jacobsen. My question is Is what are we supposed to do when nothing seems to work I've been assured looking for many years now tried everything. Honestly, I'm a great catch. Nothing wrong with me. I have the full package. I don't understand what takes so long. I'm slowly getting to the point of fully giving up is starting to feel unreal as it might never happen. Okay. Now we've addressed this topic a number of times first of the general hopelessness versus hope and specifically around should do. So first of all from a point of view of tailings. It is giving up is not an option. The a beast is sent every person to this world and sent us all made for you. There's someone there for you. You have to always know that the talking Trust. Is always necessary. Even if it's your worn-out, even if your feel beat up, even if you feel that disappointed and frustrated, you never give up you're not giving up on yourself. You don't give up on God who get who put you here and give you all the faculties necessary. It's sometimes hard to hold on yourself. That's why you need to have good friends and a good must be or have a mentor that helps keeping you up beat. The last thing you want to do is hang around with friends that have the same attitude. And then misery loves company and you just reinforce these negative attitudes surround yourself with positive people. We're now in the month of other body mass leads a muzzle. It's a healthy Mazel frame it sometime of simplest and simcha and Every Soul by virtue of its being connected to the Divine is that alone is the greatest simple you have life. You have health you say you're the full package. So it's a blessing that God gave you sometimes an crawfish mattress Hearts met a person in Fetters can't always free themselves. So you need to speak to people who helped lift you up? Mr. Okubo name, you connect to our Aiden to the lab so that Abyssinian him to that was worked siddhis the Taylor you don't fall below same thing with friends. Kevalam cavities same thing with the rav my spear. In addition, these are people who can help you sometimes see blind spots. I know you say you feel you've done everything right? But the fact the matter is we are never able to judge ourselves. There may be something you're not doing. Right and I don't that doesn't matter how many times you've tried you need to have a fresh set of eyes fresh air to look at it in a new and do it in a pace that does not make you overwhelmed but to ask me this question in any way I would have to agree to hopeless would be to me and disgrace to what the debit or us, which is there's never sir. Thing is hopeless. There's always cases no matter what your situation you're in. God gives you the strength to deal with that circumstance circumstances. So therefore that is it has to be our approach bringing a new person consult another individual find out what may be something else that can be done. Do not give up hope and the same time don't be desperate. I would not sit all day in agonize over this work teach learn do things that feed your spirit that feed your or optimism that feed your confidence in your own skills and faculties and resources and live a happy life live a good life. Remember positivity brings positivity. Nobody wants to meet someone on a date and see on their face on their body language that they're depressed or demoralized by this. So it's critical that Simpson will lead you to find what you need to find. Some people say if I find what I find and I'll be Basim works the other way around Biba. Simcha. You'll find what you need to find because Joy is a healthy Force Joy is connected to gratitude appreciation seeing your blessings and recognizing them and so on, okay. Next question what should be our attitude to the recent mic drop issue? Yeah, I often try to avoid and want to avoid some of these controversial discussions. However, once you get enough questions, it becomes very difficult because I made the promise to myself and to you and for the cause to address issues, even if they're not always something I want to address because it's part of the time the part of the dialogue out there and there's a lot of confusion and so on so I'll try to weigh in I don't want to be another voice Among The Fray so I'll try to approach it as always from at a decision approach and how the devil would address it. best of my ability So here's a few questions that came in just a few of many. How'd up cinnamon? I know you say you're not at all. But please make one exception because we need someone like you who knows psychology. See this Josh coughing modern mic. Drop. What and what might drop is. Do you need a Mesquite sack and women speak for men? Why is jail I retrieve different they have women speakers as well as many Chabad house. Has your very well-rounded and get it quote unquote. It's not good that we have. This is do not mention any names different people speaking to rabbis with a doctor with the must be a we need one person who gets a locker and people and the human psyche. That's one person writes another person writes in some bonding prohibited the woman's mic drop events and the owner of Certain website ignored the prohibition. What is your take on this? I know you use this website to Showcase your program this program. So please enlighten us. Okay, and other such questions so yes many people have weighed in there are some of the bonding that have written something about the mic drop. We know that different different psychologists and different professionals and different lay people have written up their own thoughts and share their thoughts. So I'm not another voice among them. I'm not coming another opinion. I want to step back and look at it from a very objective perspective as we should look at everything. So we know what every area of Tater and every area of life. I should say. We have a tailor that guides and directs what to do. That's the premise the Axiom that we all begin with in this case. We also have acid has a middle school students and their Heroes and directives of the lab aim, which of course are all based on Taylor but it adds also the tradition they mentioned the pretty mystical Dimension the finishers are then beyond the letter of the law, etc. Etc. Okay, so whenever we have a situation, what is the taters approach? We have to look what are we talking about? What is the what is the what is the theft? What is the entity about what is the whether it's a question about something is kosher a food is kosher or question whether a situation is culture or a mic drop is acceptable. According to Tater. You have to study what it is. You can just by hearsay to know what are we talking about? And then say what is the Tater say about this in this matter? Now I'm going to add another element here. There are things that annotated black-and-white allowed while the things that are mixed with to do the things that are allowed to do the things that are prohibited and then there's issues allowed which means there's no prohibition and something that people make by discretion which frankly covers a lot more of life than the first two which is a Mitzvah or a Prohibition in Nevada. One more point that when I born in Pascal and something that a bottom look at something the general guideline is obviously to follow the data, but also you'll find sometimes that more than sometimes in history that are bonding will avoid necessary saying a clear black and white sock why now because they may not have nothing to say in it because sometimes it's exaggerator something that everyone's doing so excited. She official Ahmed Bey Robin that many people cannot stop from doing like the rubber. Avoided giving out of a sort of prohibition on smoking even though there's enough doctors that say it's dangerous to your health and there's a midst of an astronaut email and after you say something that was said doesn't want to come out that way because there's so many people may not be able to live up to it. So you made clear his opinion but doesn't go step by step away from saying it's prohibited. This too is part of the discretion in any type of judgment call when you're looking at something some things you can give advice and not Necessary give up sack now. I'm not telling about him what to do. It's not my role. Every dog has his or her eyes. I'm just trying to put it in the context of the whole picture when you look at the situation. So now we take the mic drop, which is a commercial Enterprise. It's not a charity service. It's a commercial Enterprise that charges the people that speak that also encourages and some say even more pushes them to sell tickets and I'll soon read another two questions on this topic and What is wrong is that person should get up and speak and they consider it they are they encourage it because they say it's healthy for you to break the silence to speak about your life about yourself some consider a therapeutic. So here is a few thoughts on that and again that a conclusive statement, but just looking at all the angles. So here's two more letters. I received one pro one against one said it was very freeing for me to do the mic drop. I was able to express myself. I have not spoken in public this help me get beyond my shyness and develop courage which I feel is going to help me in many areas of my life. I spoke about this with my therapist before I did the mic drop and she encouraged it. Another variety of Rights exact opposite. I first considered it but then I saw that there was this pressure being placed on me to sign up and to bring tickets. I started feeling to commercial too much being used. I reviewed it with my professionals and they said, you know if you're not comfortable with it, don't do it. So soon as something is let's talk from a hotelier point of view soon. Something is commercial and there's business involved so we know there are millions of businesses that are the chefs are Master Madam by Munna and Donald Trump some I'm very good, but we always know when it comes to business one of the first thing is in the game, but Ava why do you need a magic year for example in a restaurant someone that's overseeing the costumes and not in the kitchen of your mother. What if your wife or someone that is a trusted you to share my why do you need a mask? Yeah, because there's no business involved and woman is trusted. She's obsessed Kakashi's trust in a business. They can cut Corners to save money to make more money and you know, and you don't know who's in the kitchen. So you need a much gear whenever there's business there's an agreement of and he gave a double does not mean necessarily that the person is is doing something bad, but you can't just trust and say, you know, what whatever they're doing is great because they have an agenda. And even if the agenda is not a bad one, you have to look at it. So I'll tell you the person has to look what is that agenda. How is it bearing on the issue? And it's something wrong being done here. I'm not going to make the statement that something's wrong being done because what I leads me next is okay. So is this an issue of speaking in public before women before men? So then you have to really be consistent because there are many events. Unfortunately or fortunately that are being done not by Mike drop by others where woman stands up and speaks before me. And there's also mixing. So if you want to be consistent, if that's an issue, then that has to be addressed across the board are bottom ready to come out again against any type of place where men and women sit together. We're not throwing but davening or a wedding or a Mitzvah simcha. So Mitzvah or students Mitzvah. So on the ready to do that their cries by all means but people going to ask be consistent in that regard as far as the issue of invulnerable and opening up in a personal way. Of course touches on issues of modesty and sneeze. Yes, that's a good question. But remember there are therapists that people go to who open up to them so true. It's not in public. So and here comes another issue, which is it healthy for a person to do this not everybody's ready for it. Some people need support. So just encourage them because there's a business angle to it. Is it being done with the proper care and the proper oversight? So taking all this into account obviously. This needs to be looked at closely this to be looked at in this context needs to be looked at from the professional point of view. Is this a healthy thing for people to be doing and as far as its nearest point of view if you want to follow how long can this type of regard then? Yes any person who follows loads of modesty will be careful what they say in public and what they say in also about speaking about parents and other things that may have negative connotations or more than connotations, but remember in 12-step programs. And in other places that are healing there's also very open talk. It's true. It's not a public forum. It's not broadcast. But still it's in front of some other people. So my point being here is that all these needs to be weighed number one what the professionals say? What is the healing element in it? Is it really accurate? So is a not being tainted by business agendas. What is the Tater say about the whole thing? Now being that abundant did weigh in on this, I'm not here to negate what they're saying. It's not at all my position. I respect my bottom and a bottom come out. We all have ability to ask my Haitian D'antoni what your sources are what their president is and that something should be part of the discussion. So but since I'm asked to weigh in I'm weighing in and the tail end of the day has to look at it in that way. I'm convinced that if somebody came to the lab that I would say send them to the bottom and exactly this way that I bunch of What it is. The last thing you want is is a sock or a rough to give an opinion and they don't really know what the heft is what the entity is because then later they'll be they'll be dismissed as saying oh you don't even know what it is first observe it that's why there's a need for a kid of attrition which is research Discovery Bureau had varam clarification from all parties involved now, I do see that it's an evolving process. I see some of the people involved in the entity are reaching out to the bottom. I'm not sure what going on behind the scenes. Hopefully they can talk about it. No way whether the bottom really get an understanding an intimate understanding of what we're dealing with there and raise their concerns that they have and if there's ways to do this in a way that there are bonding will feel comfortable. That's really what I wanted to say in context to me. The issue is not my drop the issue is how we look at every challenging situation. Now, you know people go to therapy therapy is some of the secular therapists some are not always Toyota based therapist though. We encourage people to go to Toyota base, but sometimes a professional is needed and it's particularly expertise in that particular field. So that's why it's important to have a must be another of that. You can review what the therapist is suggesting they can talk to the therapist and make sure that it's done. Potato dick away, but always when you deal with matters of the soul and matters of emotions and psychology is always very thin lines of what is acceptable. What is not and yes, there are times when people who've been truly violated you can say just keep it quiet or because it's nice but they may need to heal. They may need to speak to someone you're going to say because it's nice reason. They shouldn't speak to someone now what happens if some professionals feel the right guidance, it's good for them to speak in public. Who are we to judge that that's why Taylor looks at a Rafer the schuessler a philanthropist and has to look at it. Now. If someone are born in feel that it's inappropriate that them talk to the therapist and let them discuss it until it becomes a till it becomes clear. I think the engagement of this discussion is the key this idea where people get polarized and everyone comes personalized and this one the one extreme and then the other extreme takes away the whole Integrity of what Taylor does Taylor wants to depersonalize. Taylor wants to look at something with objective eyes with a perspective that is not tainted not by this party not by this party not by hysteria not by business agendas and other agendas clarifies who's in the game by David who's subjective who's gaining something from this who's not and comes away with a credible and legitimate and honest and accurate Taylor ruling on it, or maybe not have a ruling may be saying this is going Hang on maybe I don't have to always roll maybe rule case-by-case if someone comes to me because another thing is jurisdiction to jurisdiction is very easy today for people say, okay, I'll dismiss these are born among good. I'll go to a different city. If you wanted a bottom to have with credible Authority and has to also be addressed in that fashion meaning taking account that you don't want people running around. They want running from one to the other that there should be some Cooperative discussion. So there can be a consensus and often the time time comes that we don't necessarily have To make a full ruling it can be certain things you point out and rather than just jumping to any type of conclusive statement because the fact of the matter is some may not listen and then what have you achieved you just create a situation where some people will listen to this. I bought him some may not and some will the people with other side of agenda will dismiss these are born in mind even in even in the ridicule them which I'm not at all supporting. But you have those would be wise and create a situation where you really want a constructive conclusion not Just the pitting of the the the butting of heads against each other and the pinning of sides and just to listen to a collision course where people just end up being either confused or not listening or just doing whatever they want. And I think that's where we need a we need a very healthy environment for discussion about this matter and about all matters. It's the only way things will be done if it's effective. They always say don't boycott something that you're not going to win. You say why not if it's wrong it's wrong. Save it. So that is a Nevada Zoda. I understand but even then you want to be effective. So I wouldn't compromise but you have to know how to say not just what to say and in general. That's the best approach of all you have to know how to say it in a way that people can listen to see you know, what there's a point. I'm going to correct or else you're basically forcing people to get out of the realm of a lock and say, you know what they don't understand they don't get what's going on. They're out of touch and I'm just going to do whatever I want which I'm not an only way of course condoning. But we have to be wise especially those that no more need to be the ones that think for everybody think for more than one person because they're the ones that supposed to show direction and guidance and that's of course a body must be looking people who have the perspective of the Rebel of tatarstan this that can then Enlighten the rest of us. So I welcome your comments and that's my initial take on this. Let's move to the next question choices. How do I know if I'm making the right choice? We're faced with multiple decisions every day from what to where to where to go and what to do. Let's come to a point in my life where I'm unable to make any decision because I'm unsure what is in alignment with my purpose. How do you know if you're making the right choice? Thanks. Okay. That's a very good segue from what I just said. How many times has the Rebus said it's etched in my mind and my spirit these words so many times that I've opened up a seat, especially to women the children. Sometimes Alpha bringing Theta is called Terra are. Potato of light Taylor's Casas the tale of kindness our hero Taylor from the word. Hey draw a hero Bhai Bhai. It shines a light on the dark world around us which were issues and events and interactions are shrouded in darkness. Think of a dark Road, you're driving a dark Road. You need two things. You need a map and you need a headlights. So Taylor is both a blueprint and headlights. The blueprint tells you what to do ala my Sasha. Soon the illustrate arson. This is the road to go on. This is the road not to go on. And when this road here is the way to go it gives us a path. So this question of choices is first and foremost answered by that. We live in a dark World the audits as Taylor says right after the patient's bottle, okay, mr. Shimomura solids for other types of tell you what value relationship not the same Darkness filled all of existence and the Rockefeller Kim and I have a subpoena on my and then he goes on and says, but ye merely keep me here. God said let there be light and says what's light light is tête à tête à tête. Light is the Calves if you're going to go with citizen Cibola the light the light that enters into the symptom, which is everything is dark. So we enter into a world where without guidance we don't know. What's right what's wrong with the guidance come from an early age of comes from parents later from Educators, then from our ability of who teaches the Tater and then from our ability to access that data as we were trained to do every situation has a tailor are directive everything a tizzy. There's nothing in life because just like Engineer builds a machine. There's not one iota of fiber of the machine. That's not Guided by his blueprint The God Who is the ultimate Cosmic engineer created created a world by like an architect as the measure says is taco bar. I so but Alma not just the greater detail afterwards. He looked into the tail into the blueprint and and there and thereby and with that he created the world every detail in existence has a table and an Illuminating one at that that illuminates exactly that how do I make a choice? on this issue So things are tainted says here's what you're supposed to do is we are not supposed to do but remember there's a whole body of theta that says luscious looking Tanya. He speaks about Clippers naega chapters six and then seven. He speaks about Clipper snake and then clip was shot. He says what sleepers next clip is nigga is a mix of good and bad meaning. It's just you eat a meal. Of course for me. It's a shoes, but you can eat it self-indulgent lie, you can eat it now. Or you could even by using the strength for something positive and that's our choice that tools a directive in theater. Kinda shot sir Cottage Hospital mottola to sanctify yourself in the even in the things that you're permitted to do. So there's a whole body of the shoes. We walk we talk we sleep we eat we drink we do business and there's Terry guidelines how that should be done. Call my Circa you Le shim-sham. I'm all your actions should be done for the sake of heaven. And then you have called Rock are today all your ways, you know, God and then there's the mistress the things you must do the things you're not allowed to do things that are mutter means they're permissible. Means that you're able to release the spark is mooted. It's releasable from The Entity from the item or also be there containing is asserted means it's bound and that's often. It's not supposed to touch. That's how we make choices. Now. Someone said, how do I lo what the title says that's why we have teachers. That's why I say the carafe have a my spear have a canonical cover have people who help you when you need to make a choice, but sounds like to me what you're saying is you should sit down with somebody you trust. Just someone that has seasoning and experience. No State and cities looks at your life and says tell me what your questions are. Remember there may also be a factor of lack of confidence or lack of inner security due to being invalidated and other reasons. I'm not going to go and analyze because I don't know the details that may also make you second guess yourself and not allow yourself to just make a move. I make a choice. So having support and friends that help train you and give you the confidence to make a move. And I have confidence that this is the right move based on Toyota are Illuminating Guiding Light. That is the way to get beyond the paralysis of no choice and indecisiveness and being trapped. Okay. The next question can juice curse is one allowed to curse another person. Hi. Is it possible for one Judah curse? Another Jew? God forbid I have to add can a parent curse the child can in locker son-in-law son or daughter. If one is experiencing hardship is there room to think that perhaps one is cursed. Thank you. So, let's make a state unequivocally you have an issue that I see. According to all the pins is the colors to curse somebody and it's built on a few people can well, I'll mention a few image spot him of basic of Zion 2227 says not to curse God elokim. The target says their target manzella Kim is judges. meaning Diane people So you see that it applies to people they have the pasta calculation. You test your Dollard same passively sitting lately Sittin definitely release it the mixture before a blind person. You shall not create an obstacle. So before that it says let's call her. She shouldn't curse a deaf person. The Tailor's cane demand deposit which is the matter - the mother should Titus came in the meditation on vikre says that this includes all people and this has brought in the rambam. And he was the son hadn't paid in chapter 26 and she'll the notification Miss persimmon of Zion. Look also and to Buddha gimel base that also discusses a bit. So it's very clear does not just mean a deaf person there they explain so why does it take to say Doc a deaf person? So there's different reasons, which I'll talk about in a moment. We also have of course a clear evaded the course not the curse parents that's mishpatim have evolved 2117. And then there's even a did not the curse yourself oneself. It's based on the modern Shabazz 31a and that I'm by myself an order that I just mentioned all site that Now I'm on the reasons why he know says in Mitzvah. Raisch Hamid aleph that occurs when you Chris, I'm not just your actions, but the tail is also telling us your words have an effect on a person so careful not to have bad speech and somebody Now this is this is actually in contrast to some philosophers who feel they're not only your actions can have some not your words. so that I can t in the vehicle also holds like that that actually affect the dashboard the ratio pays vote of which is 286 the name of the ramban also holds that There's another opinion which we'll get to in a moment. So even your words this reminds us, of course a lush and hotter the vote didn't he a meme that it kills not just the speaker and the listener but also the person you're speaking about it hurts them because speech has an effect. We spoke about it by the way in episode hundred and twenty 127. Now the rambam is safe from its service lysis 317 says that the curse effects it's not really about the person that you're speaking you're cursing because even if they're not present or even if they're deaf and that's why the Pacific is coming to say that is the mere fact that you have ill feelings of Vengeance and anger. That's the problem. So it's not so much about the effect on the person that you may threaten them or you may intimidate them or so on but it's also that your reaction the way your curse is coming from something that's negative energy that you should not be having. And this case some say that the random holes, that's not because speech has an impact on the person but it's more because it has impact on you that you're cursing because it's coming from those negative feelings. I'll give you a few more sources as a Pearson R Bar Bernal and Bodacious 27A and by mid will 22:7 and Michelle Kaufmann bemidbar 2220. So this covers the topic to some extent and obviously cursing is never appropriate there are discussion. Can you curse a Russia or One that is completely abrogated sonar real criminal, but that's not for now. That's that's exceptions if anything and I'd rather not go into that right now, okay. Let's do some follow-up. We're going to do a few follow-up. There's three follow-up from asked for last few weeks and from some previous ones as well firstly. I spoke about walking by a church. So few people wrote that there's a secret from the lab a printed in volume 18. Look at the surface page 460 we talk about television and he Compares it to church and the letter says there that the meaning is not the walk by a church. And let me see here. So how does that fit with the limits Behavior itself? So you can say first of all maybe that I was speaking about a particular circumstance where the church did control our own the property and the street they clearly know Deb is not going to contradict himself like I mentioned last week at length. And may not be appropriate feeling to say that as I say in a public Street, which is not anything to do with the church is the church happens to be on that street. So but I wanted to add that. There's also special pace of Thompson Lambert. Hey 1975 that the Rebus there was a story that people standing on the grass of a church and they never said on the property of a church that needs could I stand up not feeling to stand there. But that again of course is the property so feed some feedback some follow-up that people wrote them. Another thing we spoke about in that was an episode to 49 in episode 2 43. We spoke about people someone asked about references for natural approach to dealing to dealing with depression. So someone wrote her a Robert Jacobson and response to the person who's asking for a natural approach to Healing depression. I would like to mention that there are physical disorders who symptoms mimic depression and people are often misdiagnosed hyper Paratha. The road destroyed is mmm And hypothyroidism hyper-paranoid hyperparathyroidism and hypothyroidism Celiac and other types of wheat sensitivity varies allergies deficiencies in vitamin D. Calcium B12 iron Etc. These should be ruled out first before that for diagnosing depression credit for most of this infos an article in Bina magazine. Okay. Thank you for that. As always. This is not a medical form of Any medical conclusions, it just really a platform where I try to share what comes my way and things that I'm aware of from the rebel see this or basic Common Sense between the lines. So thank you for that. But again, all these issues should always be addressed with professionals and one came and checked with our bottom to make sure it's all above board on every possible level. I always need to say that because that's the fact that the Taylor way. In episodes 155 that goes back a long way. There was a question. Is it my eight Sahara or My Dysfunctional childhood? I discussed that at length, how do you determine something is based on dysfunctionality or two units are opposed to something. You have more Choice over. So even this functionality we discussed you can do things about but it's obviously a different situation. So someone writes look at our yam. Yam Shabbos 7:16. 7:16 it was of course. It was Thompson gimbal The crucial first step is to identify the location of the illness whether it is caused by the crassness gross lewdness and Corruption. This is a translation of that. Ye may obvious physical body or by failing in this all powers. The person might be being inclined to understand to undesirable traits like arrogance or falsehood and the like or the source of the malady maybe habit inadequate rearing or unwholesome environment having brought on bad habits. Correct. So thank God that thank you that either that adds to the discussion. Thank you for that. Okay, we've covered the follow up. I will now do the see this question and the essays I want to add since we're talking about this. I just saw something at auction. Hey. Very interesting. It's actually I learned I'm teaching I am based in Mumbai you my and and volume to in the my modem about be rude him the killer who cast model because those my modem so the rebel the free Dakota besides those men bottom actually almost quotes it but adds to it is a very interesting piece that I just would be interesting if you want to look into it. It's on page 85 and safer my modern Thompson. Hey page 85 where he talks about. As well as page 84 I should say we talks about people's meters and how they are how we were born with being more crass and how we get refined even speaks about different ages and just don't quite unique and if you're interested look it up, it's the moment is I'm aiman Ella told us their top option. Hey, but it's a Hampshire of early my modern and continues on its on page. 84 85. Okay liquid will said the Milson Exodus question. Which in some way is also a follow-up to last week to some extent its own rights helical a car or creation. What does the tiny mean by saying that a soul is literally a piece of God? Okay. Look Ellicott, my mom manage the beginning of chapter 2. And how do you explain that the soul and God are two half images as you discussed last week had soon as the Taylor of the bond market. It's a little more breakdown of the question. Hi, Rabbi Jacobsen. My question for you. Today is as follows. It says in Chapter 2 of Tanya that the neshamah of every Jew Zak Kayla kalika the malm Amish a piece of God literally, so my question basically is is every Jew got For he has a piece of God within him on the other hand. We are creations of Hashem and we have a Mitzvah to pray to him to God every day. So please explain this concept that every Jew has a piece of God within him and what does this mean? So firstly let me refer you to episode 130 where I discussed the meaning of Calico to come in mom Amish also commentaries and we're good place to look is see this move attend Tanya move huertas where he brings all the different interpretations in this meaning in wedding. Is from the free Dakota but they're skeptical and Hamish Hamish a helical the car but there's also sometimes interpretation and Mom is referring to my muscles that literally tangibly manifests itself in the tangible part of the person and helical the chamomile means my mild means the more Sublime and higher levels. So you have the other different commentaries as far as this question goes. There's a big question, of course a philosophical theological questions. Something is a piece of God. What does that mean? God is indivisible that we discussed in In episode 1 30 there's the chef at all on it. And a couple is Campbell has that really speak about the topic long before the time regarding your question. So there's an interesting expression Exodus that in the Summers elocution a ce'nedra godliness that became a novella. Which one is it Eliquis we know is not an even elocutionist Endeavor. So from this we derived that yes in the summer is definitely an entity. That becomes an evident as it travels like we say Michelle Michelle assadi be too highly pure a tabula rasa. You've created what the neshamah at the authority you've saved it at an effect to be you've instilled in me at the Muhammad al-baqir me you protected in within me. So as as the tiny explains and a number of my money, we spend the summer goes through a journey gradations. It begins in the highest level. The shaman is slow because she beautiful cool Cut which needs its own explanation, which I'll talk about in a moment, but then the summer goes through layers and levels and each level. It assumes garments until it becomes inevitable meaning something not like Amala something that can be installed in a body and against Iran exist in this material world and still retain its neshama qualities. So what do we mean by that and let's make it out. Another question. Everything is created by God. This table is chair. R would Stones animals every atom so why do we suddenly say an ashram is Ella Coos Kaylee Kaylee? Come on, Mama's and and what the spark the Divine elocution side of the stone is not a part of God. The answer is that God created things in different ways the things that maintain and retain Divine personality and a summit isn't just that God created it. It retains it created in a way that has written a Divine personality. So this talks about 8/18 of can move on obviously God is not a God is not even a mile is not a source of light and yet light and God does not need to create light and what is it you could have the cruise ship the Cybermen are that's not the primary thing of God. That gives off light but once it light does give off its comes as my enemy where a reflection of the Divine a ceilidh under the hand a container or yes is also created by God, but it's created in a way that does not retain the vine properties and divine attributes. So that's what in the sum is the sum is that the lacrosse is retained in it. It's a Divine entity that retains Divine quality so it can come into this world in a body and an animal Soul which don't have Divine qualities in the revealed way and it refined those elements to become Divine then you reveal the SM that's embedded in the yesh in the Gulf. Yes. I'm ETS and evil, but as far as in Gilliam goes and the summit has The Gleam of Ilocos, but then it does Gillian travel and come. Into this world into a new era so it's a helical come in my mom. Is she saying the following only one God that's clear. But God in a sense imparted part of himself, like isil is metsa who guard imparted into a neshama. So why is that a Haley can't say God has a hillock. It's an our words to say that this is a piece like saying something creative. It's LM Elder Kimball. God has no image, but he manifested a part of himself into the image into the Neshama, so it's a critical and it's mannish mamas apiece. I should take this boom. It's just a tape is because the interruption high that I misspoke if it's Davis Macaulay, why are you called the Mid-South? Say, oh, okay, because in Gilliam it's archaic in our language when we look at it. It looks like on the shaman this person, but in the add some is tacit connects to the core and Carries over the core personalities of divine personality to transform this world into a Divine home. As far as the second part of the question hurts, it showed us so I refer you to I am bass volume to chapter. I believe shinpei dollar and on 384 non the revenue shop literally for over 700 Pages explains this maggot and he begins by saying exactly this line. He says, Stephen Mangan says had Citrus to images. I knew a college bar cover classes this low and cover your whole Constitution Muslims as their car vehicle to have some an image think of think of you have a mosaic one image you cut it into half. So you need both. They complement each other Co vehicle the medic of an elaborate shop says I'll clean the silver Gilly that the intention is not on the headset and the LV Gilly events. Tough and also by an islamist role as it comes revealed in the neshama. Because the SM you wouldn't say two halves. There's no parts. There's no image at all. So this is in Gilliam. They become down and explains it further more in detail. Okay, that's the this question and the relevance of course to us is that we are not just creations. We are agents of God were ambassadors that carry Divine powers. That traveled through all the levels to come and not be part of the problem. But we part of the solution when your creature you're part of the system. So you follow the guidelines like every animal and every season and every creature in this world follows the guidelines, but you want to transform the world you need a divine power and the shaman carries Divine energy as a Divine slea that carries that energy into this world with the power to not just survive not just to conform to the system but to transform it into home for godliness in this world not let's do the city supplied essays three essays. This is still last year's essay contest first is true. Peace is realistic. By who the levenger? Age 19 Jerusalem Israel Soul Mom. It is a monstrosity. She speaks about the different conflicts that we have in our lives and which seems to be conflicts that can never end and the fact of the matter is he identifies the problem that it seems like there's a economy. Hey brings based on Kabbalah exceed this that shows how you can find that Unity within existence. And brings actual practical ideas that allows implementations and actions that allow us to achieve this type of unity. And allows us to see a broader perspective where things come together on the one rubric on the one unifying field. Nicely done Hebrew as I said with very good examples and bullets and a special album name of ultimately creating peace even among paradoxes and differences. That's a say one. The next essay is Will and Desire by Raquel system in Atlanta, Georgia. And she writes on the topic will desire we Face commitments at every turn in life. We commit to ourselves our jobs and our relationships often once commitments are made. We are in power mode doing whatever we can to fulfill our goal. Over 50% of the people United States make New Year's resolutions and less than eight eight percent of these people keep their resolve. It goes on to say that citizens Direction on gaining an awareness of what our will is so when I say, I promise how to keep commitments when we become unmotivated and the benefits of enduring and following through goes on to explain what is rotten the essence of man that desire speaks about to Two Chains inner and outer identify both and then six steps for Effective follow through with the with acronym honest how the H of honest the details optimize the oh and is now e evaluate an S speak. s and one Morty think so you have five they're honest and it's broken down a very good structure very practical plan and I liked it as a lot and I think it can really be useful to people. Okay, finally the third essay for today's episode is to remain happy and conflict Menachem. Mendel wolf age 30 Netanya. Israel is job is a mechanic. Attempted we must abandon the Tanya. again again in Hebrew and he talks about the problem as a marriage conflict marital conflicts and the great Shaman how to maintain true love despite differences. The challenges especially in our modern world. What is a distorted form of love and how we address it how we confronted? And then we come to realize what is the healthy love and healthy love can have two different voices. And knowing how to reconcile them and taking the best Inspire both. To find Unity even within conflict. So it's a little creative someone Innovative approach and I think another very good contribution to the entire discussion on this challenging issue. So with that we conclude my life's has supplied episode 250 250 episodes and welcome all your comments your feedback on these topics that any topics all questions will be addressed. Everyone have a simcha Ditka other not the shiny. Only Milan be Katie's Day vanilla vanilla, true reveal joy in the fullest sense of the word. Joy that brings Unity a joy that gives you strength to deal with your challenges. Like he says in Tanya when you do with joy, you have much more confidence and much more courage. You have much more will power to overcome any Challenge and we should only have good news to celebrate together. And from the goal of putting should go to the Ghulam. It is Vash Lima. Cut admonish and each of us do our part in spreading citizen teaching cities and reaching every part of the world with scissors if we're here. We're here every Sunday 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. So I have a very blessed and sympathetic week called move. Everybody be well.
Addressing the Personal and Emotional Needs of Our Community and Answering the Most Pressing Questions of Our Lives -- from the Perspective of Chassidic Thought. TOPICS • Chassidus Applied to Vayakhel, Shabbos Mevarchim Adar II and Shekalim 2:53 • Can we speak after saying the bedtime hamapil prayer? 13:26 • Shidduchim: What should I do when nothing seems to work? 19:18 • What should our attitude be to the recent MicDrop issue? 23:32 • How do I know if I am making the right choice? 38:57 • Is one allowed to curse another person? 44:15 • Follow-up:     o Walking past a church (episode 249) 48:47     o Natural Approach to Dealing with Depression (episode 243) 50:09     o Is it my yetzer hara or my dysfunctional childhood? (episode 155) 51:32 • Chassidus question: What does the Tanya mean by saying that a soul is literally a “piece of G-d”? And how do you explain that the soul and G-d are “two half images”? 53:44 • My Life 2018 essays:     o True Peace is Realistic! Yehuda Levinger, 19, Jerusalem, Israel 01:01:15     o Will and Desire, Rachel Schusterman, Atlanta, GA 01:02:30     o To Remain Happy in Conflict, Menachem Mendel Wolf, 30, Netanya, Israel 01:03:56  Submit your question now at http://www.meaningfullife.com/mylifelive or email: Mylife@meaningfullife.com. 