Hello and welcome to gobble up wine a drunken Harry Potter podcast. My name is Charlie and I'm Hannah and we're to 20-somethings reading our favorite childhood book. But this time with added alcohol and cynicism today's episode. We are re reading chapters 9 and 10 of Prisoner of Azkaban with some fucking disgusting butterbeer that Hannah has inflicted on me. I think you'll find I invented some amazing new recipes and everyone will love it and they'll call it the Hannah butterbeer. No, so if this all like the podcast of your dreams enjoy because I didn't love you. Hello. Hello, welcome back to Goblet of wine your favorite podcast that Two Hosts are a mess. Anna's had a bit more to drink than me. I mean to have two shots. Yeah, they haven't really done much I think because I felt it in a bit. They were cake flavored vodka and caramel flavored vodka. Correct. Something like Kissed Caramel was it's kiss kissed Carrie. Because when caramel is kissed it takes a wildly different. I spend a lot of time kissing caramel today. We're doing chapter 9 Grim defeat. But first we have some thank yous to do. Oh shit. Yeah shit we do that. Yeah, we do first. We have a thank you too. L know L Lambert. Sorry can't read already L Lambert who says our podcast is fun and has authentic discussion. I don't know what inauthentic discussion is, but I thank you for your review. I really it is because Cuz as we have established, I've never read Harry Potter and I just lie, okay, and then we have another thank you have BEC make Donegal but doing Google doodle. I guys I'm very dyslexic and I've had a couple of shots who says we are the sort of people she would love to meet in a girls bathroom unlike groaning metal. They don't want to meet in a girl's butt. Okay, we're the opposite but I love that. I love that. I love drunk girls in bathroom jungles and bathrooms are like the height men you need constantly in life. Yeah, yeah, I aspire to just be that person all the time. 24/7 next is why I drink all the time 24/7 to stand. Yeah, Nick. Thank you goes to Catherine Mars who says she is rereading each chapter as we do which is frankly the best way to be doing this. We've had more and more people start to measure saying they're reading the books per chapters. We do it which sounds awesome. So thank you. Yeah, and then the final one to Matt loves good witch thank you for that name. Yeah, who won the Drake? Click on quiz. Number two. Number two. Well done Charlie. What are we drinking today? What are we doing? What have you done to me? So we are reading chapters 9 and 10 of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. So I decided in these chapters Harry tries, but herb if the first time so I decided to make butter beer. There are two rules to my butter beer making one. It had to be more alcoholic than butter bit because well, we're alcoholic podcast number two. It could not include cream soda, which I hate with such a passion. It makes me want to burn buildings down. Yeah, and she's done it with ginger beer because I hate Ginger. Yeah, I didn't realize that before I bought it and so here's a fact for you. I know loads of people love the butterbeer that they serve it like The Wizarding World and the studio tour. I hate it. It's disgusting. That is not what butterbeer is meant to taste like so we have two types of butter that I've made tonight from two different recipes that are similar, but I thought of in my head We're going to switch at the chapter change because two drinks is quite normal for us to drink during an episode. So this first one is ginger beer as a base with then a shot of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum a shopped a shot of caramel vodka and egg whites and vanilla extract. Cheers. You want to see our initial reaction to this. It will be on our Instagram story highlight because it is so bad. I don't know what you're complaining. About it taste like I'm not only tastes like but the texture is resembling off if someone had some ginger beer and then just repeatedly sat in it for like an hour every inch of spit that they could muster. It's like it's like thick and a bit foamy like start we wanted it thick and foamy and then it's like watered down like it's been watered down with spit. I'll admit this isn't perfect. I think the beard so the second one we're trying halfway through spoilers is a beer base with a toffee. Debased and then alcohol because she's put egg white in it. It's just all separating on the top. So it's just got this really ominous column. The Eggman is was for the phone to make it look cool. This will all be on our Instagram story because egg white was just for the aesthetic to be honest. It's horrifying just go check our hi. Okay. Do you prefer this more prefer this less than the one they serve at the studio tour because I prefer this a lot more but I hate anything with cream soda, and I haven't had the studio one in a very Okay, I just know I hate to cause a screen total run. I definitely didn't really like the Studio One, but also at least it doesn't feel like something spitting into my mouth and not even in the kinky way. Okay, you have to finish this by the track to break because then you get to the Beer one, which I think you'll like better. Probably I do like beer. Okay, great. We I wanted to learn how to make a hot one, but I couldn't I couldn't work it out. Yeah, you were to just send it up fry - okay. It'd be like when you get home you struggled. Hey those scrambled egg in our butter. Here, so if you want to make our butterbeer up while but it isn't it. I'm sorry Kyle. I don't like it. It's so bad. If you don't believe me, we have meals and Sarah's reaction on our Instagram stories. He is not it could be a hell of a lot worse so bad. Anyway chapter 9 Grim. Yeah different defeat. I love a good pun. All students are sent to the Great Hall for the night because they've just discovered that the portrait of the fat lady has been ripped up by serious plan Percy's in charge, which seems Super fucking do but it does Dumbledore apparently with wand sweeps all the tables to the side the hole and it doesn't say this, but I just like to imagine that you know, he sweeps them all to the side of avoiding all the students part from one little first year who is just punted Into the Water by this table and then that becomes part of the yearly Deathcore. Yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. So this one little first year. He's probably called Kevin gets caught by the table swept into the wall crushed to death and everyone's like Yeah by Kevin there's the first bit of the daily quota, did you ever have the thing if I'm re school where but was your like food Hall also you're like pee all I never went to a primary school big enough to serve food I never had a canteen what what did you eat packed lunches that's so weird anyway so tell me your story because I went to a weird school apparently yeah, I really hope that everyone was burning with desire to know exactly about Hannah's Primary School shut up you asked you know, you look really cute today Thank you. Do you like the green? I really do but also your eyeliner you like your eyes look super cute. Thank you. I really messed up that and it actually has a genuine compliment. That was a weird thing. Yeah, I think you should keep that energy together. Okay, I'm gonna keep my weed never nice to each other on this podcast know so she's blushing so we have this really disgusting thing where yeah, so the food Hall where they had like the canteen was then also RP horse. Yeah, you had people are Lunch, you would just have bits of like peas and tell you Twizzlers like between your toes fucking turkey Twizzlers. I like to think that's what happens to them now is like the best leave it with a turkey Twizzlers by their head like stop. It doesn't know about turkey Twizzlers. Just Google Jamie Oliver turkey Twizzler and you'll understand Britain in the early 2000s like Jamie Oliver is a Tory scumbag, but the only thing he ever did good for this country was get rid of the turkey Twizzlers. I was obsessed. Okay, I wasn't obsessed with turkey Twizzlers. I was obsessed with turkey dinosaurs. Yeah, I have them they were fine, but the Twizzlers but I never had the Twizzlers so bad. Okay. Did she so bad? I do. I really miss Primary School puddings. I don't know any of this you missed out. I'm sorry. Yeah, it never had any of this anyway, but anyway, Harry Potter, so they're always like discussing how black got in there all confused. It's mentioned that all the teachers go off to search the different areas the castle and when Dumbledore and Snape Come back and they're checking like who search Which floor Snape says that filch has searched the dungeons. I thought it was pointless. That filch is asked to search the dungeons because he can't do magic. So what is the point of hymns? Actually the dungeons? What is black is down there and filtered just like oh no, it's Sirius Black. Oh, no, he's murdered me. Like maybe that was the point. Maybe they really wanted to get rid of this slut, but I'm liking it. Less and less than more I drink. Yeah admit that you're wrong bitch. We learned that sleep suspect someone inside the castle and this is our first hint of us and he says they really convenient Hatley have this conversation next time. Yeah. I know so much and then also it's like why is Percy privy to this? Well, it says that sleep is trying to not open his mouth enough to block Percy from the conversation. I would have just been like Percy go away. It doesn't matter that your head boy go away. But Snape says I worried since you appointed blah blah blah. As a kid reader you'd probably like dismiss this not even think about it, but it's not I don't read. This would be your first hint that a member of staff is the issue really really really wish that I could go back and say this with the fresh memory and like whether I would suspect the Lupin because I think it's one of those things in this is what part of us have been talking about like in his recap where you kind of have the obvious red herrings and obviously Lupin is supposed to be an obvious red hair. You need the really good point about Scooby-Doo. It's the first person you meet who's nice in the person that did it and the second person you Meet who is suspicious as the good guy? But what I like in this is It's not like oh we're setting up looping and then actually it wasn't me put it with someone else which is like how isn't. Yeah first book. Yes kind of first two, but that instead it's like no actually like it wasn't someone else but it wasn't looping. Yeah, but actually there's that whole Twitter. So I really really wish that I could read this again for the first states to be like would I suspect but I don't think the thing with this one is no one could get paid. Category from this nobody I don't believe known it. I mean, it's more guessable than the fourth book which takes the rug out so far from for you is more guests board Max. I feel like you are like, I don't know obviously, I wouldn't you can't know because we can't read this with the fresh brain, but I feel like it is a bit like he's just bought up a lot for someone that's supposed to be like kind of like a dead side character. Yeah. Yeah, and then you do get further along him being like spotted on the map and stuff. So you kind of can't and Yeah, there are ways of working it out. I think but you definitely like I don't know because I feel like I would know that it wouldn't be looping but I do like that you have this character that just seemed so Earnest and lovely. Yeah, and then York. I like all but a dark side maybe because that's what just booked but you look for a man. Is that it? Yeah, he's really really nice but also seems a little bit fucked up. That's my perfect. Math says Charlie. Yeah, I mean Lupin is Bay and I'll get into that in some later chapters. But yeah, I would I mean what a my dreams in life. Is to have my memory wiped for a month to read reread the Harry Potter series because I'd always want to get it back because the amount of stuff like Harry Potter has brought me in my life, but I just want a month where I get to read it again. Yeah, and I could like I would never want to lose it completely because I would lose all of like the impact that it's had on my life. I mean would lose this at this point. Yeah, if they could be like there's one you get one franchisee. You can start again fresh and then once you complete it get back all of your memory, I would be very torn between Harry Potter and Buffy. Yeah his Buffy I watch it in a random order growing up. So I never got all of the massive Chris allow. I see like never at least for the Harry Potter. I did get it once when I was young but I still feel like I was too young for some of the massive pot twist like because of the like, although I was obsessed with Harry Potter, like like some of the huge plot twist. I was a bit too young for and I just wish I could have at least like I did have it at one point. Whereas like with Buffy a little never did because I saw it in a mismatched all yeah. I like Nick's idea for a podcast when we Somehow ever have time is Han has never seen Buffy. Never gonna do Hannah watching Buffy for the first time. Do you eat? So tell us if you want us to do that and then give us money so that we can we then get a kind of overview of the next few weeks. My stomach is groaning so much for this Turtle. I think there's something wrong with this. I mean, yeah, it's like someone's coming into it. It's so bad Hannah. It's so you don't have to drink it. What if it's the Frankenstein of Cocktails so Professor McGonagall basic wants Harry to be protected at all times. Like he's being followed around by teachers Professor McGonagall calls him into her office to be like Sirius Black wants to kill you and he's like, yeah me I know so Percy asked if the Dementors wanted to help and then he looks really surprised when Dumbledore says that he won't let them in and I feel like this is like the first sign of like Percy putting too much faith into the establishment. Yeah, like he's like taken aback. He's like white, but why wouldn't Dumbledore just like land then he's really embarrassed. Arsen Dumbledore. Shuts him down quite like not aggressively but quite firmly. He's like, yeah will never allow a dimension past my school or I'm Headmaster and Percy looks really beerus and like and like confused as well because he's like, but but they're they're they're good. They're the government like it's good and it's like no like learn critical thought like this is difference between Percy and Hermione that money lands like critical like definitely two questions here. They sort of the same and then like they died about that diverge not don't Well, I Percy doesn't develop critical thinking whereas like Hermione does. Yeah, that's a really good point. Perfect. Perfect. Whereas Percy would be absolutely fine with serious black soul being sucked out in front of him because well, that's what the establishment said. Yeah Professor McConnell wants Harry to be protected at all times Malfoy then in this kind of like a couple of week-long Roundup of Hogwarts says that his arm is too injured to play the next quidditch match which leads Gryffindor to pay Hufflepuff. Also, so cadogan is the new Gryffindor portrait is fantastic is the best character. This is the first time Cedric Diggory is mentioned when we learn the gryffindor's paying Hufflepuff. So it's nice that he's kind of slipped in in this book. I think you mean the spare so they turn up at defense against the dark out and Snape is covering the lesson and I've got all tingly he's a dick about it. Yeah. I've got a lot to say about this lesson, but my First note is just page 394. Snape is being an absolute dick head to the class. He's goading them. All about werewolves is being an A-Class Kant said that cause Hannah's going to edit it out. Now I and then Hermione tells him the answer to a question. He asked so he asked the difference between like a traditional wolf and I fucking knew you were going to talk about this. Did you even write notes about it? I did but I was like, well, this is redundant. No, it's a discussion. Well discuss it together. Great, I agree with you. So what happens about to say is how Ron stands up for Hermione. Whereas in the film's is that what he does? Well, I'm actually just I was gonna leave the film bit until we get to the film episode. So my answers the question for him and Snape calls her an insufferable know-it-all. So my first name is that Snape is the fucking worst because how dare a teacher say this to a student Hermione actually cries, and I've teacher should Never make a pupil cry first of all and like it is literally warms. Ron said he asked a question and a pupil answer just so get out. So Robin jumps to Hermione's defense says if you didn't want the answer, why did you ask the question which is obviously like quite a clap back. He gets detention. The reason why I focus on it so much is because the film's changed it. But if we leave that live we leave that discussion to the films like I think this is one of the moments that Really epitomizes runs character. Yeah, and I think it's just a blind oversight from the film's ignoring this bit and changing it. Yeah. This is him being a really good Gryffindor as well. Exactly run. You really shouldn't have set like Mama you should have said that but also you shouldn't have said that but there's not even like the hint of it's not like he starts saying it like Trails off. No, he's actually like he just like you're being a dick. Yeah, exactly and like it's also it's also mentioned in the text that Ron calls Hermione and know it Or at least twice a week. Yeah, but it's the same way as when like you tease your sibling. You're like, yeah, my brother's like blah blah blah blah. He's blah blah blah blah blah, but if anyone else is like your brother's a bit blah blah blah, you'd be like shut the fuck up only I get to speak about that person like the same way if you're bitching about your mom if someone else says that about your mom, that's not okay. It's only okay when you say it and I feel like that's the same with what Ron is doing. Like he calls Hermione and know it all under the awareness like in this moment. We'll get to later in the book. But in this moment where he does really respect her and like understand her as a friend. Yeah, but it's not okay for Snape who was trying to belittle her to call her the same word. So that's one of the reasons why Ron claps back so hard and also like Harry doesn't clap back and I think that's important Harry sit there silently. I'm sorry. Charlie's just distract me by taking a selfie. I look cute you do I just feel like like Harry doesn't clap Back In This Moment. It's just Ron who claps back and that's also the different seen Harry and Ron's characters. Like Harry never really is the rod is always going to be the first to jump to people's defense and that's like the Hufflepuff and the Gryffindor side of him where he's the first one to be like don't say that about people he's always the one who's arguing against Hermione being called a mudblood by people. This is just runs character in Michelle yeah, I'm really yeah that just makes it all the worse what the films did but anyway quidditch who it is, uh, there's a really brilliant. None of this Harry is up like super super early and then he's like just basically waiting for the day to begin and Crookshanks is repeatedly trying to sneak into like how do you still having to like get every 20 minutes just be like, yeah. No. No because you tried to sneak into Lincoln break comedy seed. Yeah. Just try to get Into the boys dormitory to murder scabbers. I love it. It's so funny. Like I feel like this is one of the bits where because we're reading in like more detail and for the first time properly in years, like obviously we listen to the audio books all the time. Yeah. I feel like when you're listening to the audio books, you don't pay that much attention not only do it when I'm trying to sleep. Yeah. So it's this kind of detail that I missed out on previously like I have no recollection of this ever happening and I'm like, this is gold. I would yeah, it's just a really funny image. Harry being up at like for that fuck sake and then this cook Shack was trying to get in the dormitory. Like stop it stop it. It's like we love it. But there's a just like cockroaches so dedicated I don't dedicated to the cause Crookshanks is the best character in this book. So there's a horrific storm going on outside and Harry and his head is like but the quadrat you'll never be cancelled and it isn't cancelled even though we find out this storm is fucking horrific at this an outdoors. A sport there's lightning. I'm like, I'm sorry there up there up there one broom as we are in this school. No sport is was being electrocuted by lightning. It really wakes me up for her is like Chris would never be cut up for a trifle like a thunderstorm, like maybe it should literally like he has breakfast. They go to the Quidditch match. It's going pretty pretty terribly he can't see anything because Rain is so bad. Woody, cause I'm glad glad glad glad would calls timeout and Hermione appears with in a magical Hermione way with a spell for Harry's glasses to get rid of the Wayne convenient. I really love and this point when wood is just like pretty after my knee. Yeah. I just like word. I love worship it but my ship yeah, but in kind of like a sexy one nice and kind of way. Yeah, not in a permanent way. Yeah, but in A one-night stand like really like Hermione would be really worked up over an exam and Oliver will be really work. Not when she's 13. We're imagining their closer in age and like they're both be really like worked up needs like get out their frustrations on each other someone halleloo, we and I'm going to put a request. Yeah, but wait no and then to like distress they're like, oh I'm going to like sneak into the prefect's bathroom and the makeup and then they're they're both in there to die. Dress you're turning me on okay. Okay, guys, we're gonna need a minute. Okay. I have my first request. I'm gonna seriously put in can someone write a fanfiction for us, please. We will read out in a bonus episode. It doesn't matter if you're not subscribed to our patreon, obviously, if you write it, I'll send you the episode personally, but could you write fanfiction of Percy and of them are no Percy? No, no Oliver word and Hermione what their pent-up about? Out there closer in age change the ages. I will expect it at Goblet of wine podcast at gmail.com. Come send it to both.com and dotco Dot U k-- just you know, spray spread your chance to write your chances from people actually do a bonus episode on it. Thank you and goodbye. So then they go back on the brooms. There's a flash of lightning and the Harry sees a black dog in the stands which he's like, it's a grim. Yeah. I think I didn't get into plank. I know that it he had like, but just a black dog. Like he's a really big like here's an imagi. Let me good and I make this Mages and Bacchus his fiery his hurried it. She could have been anything and you feel like if it was like, okay he transforms into a turtle and the turtle happened to be the Grim that you would be like. Yeah, that's odd. I've seen a turtle but you wouldn't freak yourself out over seeing like a large black dog. You just be like, I've Just Seen A large black dog. I mean imagine it's huge. But then why is he such? A big black dog because that's just his that's that's just his thing. No, I feel like he is a normal sized attack dog. And Harry is really fucking dramatic an attention seeker. Just it's a dog. It's okay. It's a fucking dog. Like I'm just saying if you wanted like JK if you wanted to make this more convincing be like and then Harry saw the zebra of death. This is so then he sees the snitch then a fuck ton of Dementors show up at the pitch and I wrote a little know. Also Loop in much later on says that the Dementors showed up because there were so many people there. It was like a feast for them, but I don't know are they actually there because they sense serious because now we know that that black dog, which I thought is the Grimm was actually serious watching the match so and then demented show up within a minute. So are they sensing serious know why because he's in top form. Good point I'll move on I was wrong. I love it when she says it's my favorite thing fuck off. Harry faints. He wakes up in the hospital ring ring ring find out they've lost the match. He also in that paragraph discovers that Cedric wanted a rematch. So at this point we know Cedric is a good egg. Although I actually Sick from drinking but it's so bad and my mouth is burning and then we find out Hagrid's Perry's Nimbus 2000 is smashed then it's next chapter. So we have to finish our drinks three two one go. Ok. Let's make the next one pause the podcast don't vomit. We're back for chapter 10 the Marauders map and we have another type of butterbeer just to let you know the butter beer drinking this time is made with a beer base a buttery biscuit bib base buttery. Bit base and Captain Morgan Spiced Rum a toffee liquor that was from like poundland or something and I quite Home Bargains Home Bargains. This is gone low. Hold on. It was our four pounds. I really Splash out for the oh, oh, oh I'm falling. Is it better or worse than the last one? No, it's better and it and it was it was fine. And then she added more to it. And once again if you want to see this as on our Instagram story, well put it in a high light called butterbeer. Yeah. Yeah, I added more to They told me I needed more flavor and then they all yelled at me because we were like, yeah just a bit more and then she put like half a bottle of vanilla chapter 10 the Marauder's Map. Yep. So we're almost halfway through the book and nothing's happened and nothing's happened. But the Nimbus 2000 is broken and apparently it's not fixable which leads me to the question does repair only do so much. Yes. What's the limits is it magical items virginity's shut up. What's the limits? Yeah. Hymens, well, it's apparently broomsticks because up until this point repair is repaired everything. Yeah. I feel like it is like magical item. Okay, that's fine. Yeah. I just want that explained. I've just explained it to you. Great. Okay. So how are you suddenly being haunted by his mother's dying voice and has no one to tell he tells no one it's fucking horrible. It's actually a way where did I write this new? Okay, I wrote it in a bit, but it's just like These horrifying that he's literally realized his hearing his dead mother's voice and he's like, oh, well, I don't want to tell Ron Hermione. I'm like how really this is horrific this drink lychee. It's like someone you've got a beer and then someone's poured a load of vanilla and toffee in it. It is fucking disgusting. It's like you've you really sure you ruined a beer. You've ruined my pint my mouth why I wanted to do something nice for you you N't. That's hard to swallow. I wanted to make homemade butter beer. I thought it would be a cute episode idea. You were wrong. Did you just poisoned me? So Hermione is the only one to have finished the werewolf essay when they get looping back which means this point she at least aspects to some extent that Lupin is a werewolf because part of the reason she suspects it is because Is the only one that did the sa and everyone else just kind of backed out of it and didn't do it in time. And then at the end of the lesson Harry tells Lupin what he hears when the Dementors come near him because he says to Lupin, you know, I want Auntie demented lessons and he explains to Loop in that he hears his mother's voice when the Dementors come near which thank God he's told someone because like I just needed him to tell someone I was really the first half of this like paragraph like Harry you mean he's just I'm really worried that needs to be more therapists all goes. Oh my God. Do you need to tell someone so he tells Lupin so Lupin agrees to teach Harry how to fight the Dementors and then it's nearly Christmas. Yeah, so he's like, but you know go fuck yourself until after Christmas. Yeah, lovely. I feel like in defense against the dark arts this year. It's just care for magical creatures. Yeah. It's a United. Let's just do magical creatures is real. Are you sure it makes it like a man? Look I assume if they had the same teacher for all seven years. It actually makes sense spend one year on dark creatures because I knew like A year of spells maybe like creatures. It might just be like different like syllabuses like yeah, this is the Dark Art creature term. Exactly. I think it does make sense. It know it does I'm just pointing out. No. Yeah. It is a bit like is this care for magical creatures or like this defense against the yeah, like is this on purpose or did JK Rowling just kind of forget that was a different lesson for? Yes. So Ron Hermione have decided to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas for the sheer reason that they I want to keep Harry company, even though they've come up with different excuses, which is like the best thing like they both have families to go back to especially Hermione who like her parents aren't in The Wizarding World and she's got off to a fucking boarding school and she decides to stay with Harry. It's the cutest fucking thing like a really cute pair. He's found some good mates. Yeah, then it's hogsmeade weekend. The last one before Christmas everyone leaves the castle and Fred and George then Corner Harry and they have this ragged bit of parchment that they're kind of like teasing. About and suddenly the Ragged bit of parchment becomes the Marauders map them to death another done it so I have three questions or points about the Marauder's Map a why do they give it to Harry? So they say that they've basically memorized the map at this point, but surely the best part of the map is not like the secret passages and stuff like that. It's knowing where everyone is in the castle and Fred. Yeah. George wouldn't want to give that up because they know where so much has the hold. Time it makes no sense that they give it up literally no sense. Thank you. I was worried. You were going to be like no it's fine. They give it up. It makes no sense to me that they give up a piece of parchment with tell them we're filches the entire time. Yeah, so that I find bizarre number two. Have they seen Peter Pettigrew on this map the last two years sleeping in Ron's bed. It's a constant question both they've been asked online and we've now been emailed it or tweeted it three times. Yeah. I like to think that they don't. Don't judge Ron and his lifestyle and that they just think that he has mad game 11 years old. They're just like he's poured someone called Peter. We're not going to ask any questions. That is Ron's business and we support him 12. You shouldn't be sleeping in bed every night with someone age 12 it is if it's just sleeping in bed. And as long as they're also aged 12 and it's consensual and they're just sleeping. There's no one in the area called Peter Random House. It'll puff. Yeah. No, it's if I mean to be it's a plot hole. It's a plot hole that also would you be looking at your brother's bed at night on my back you'd glanced at it wants to be like weird, but weird. Maybe they just thought it was glitching. Maybe that's true. And then my third question is how did they work out how to work the map? So you have to tap the map and say I solemnly swear I am up to no good and they just say that constantly. It's just that price but I wonder if there's like a few different phrases to open it or it's literally that one phrase and Fred and George spent a year tapping the map going like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah until they got to I solemnly swear I am up to no good. Maybe it was unlocked when they found it and they were like instructionally Polizzi extraction me, please is that must be because otherwise, why would they know it's a map and a portrait. I think it must have been like unlocked. I think soldiers even more worried if it was. Locked that's nobody has it before no, but he was a squid what he what was he going to do about it? Like I'd like to think it was unlocked. So it's like in map mode filter can't do anything about it. But that's why he knew to put it in the like top secret drawers and then they found and then because it was unlocked they could ask at the instructions. I like how do we use you? And it was like say this, I mean we'll never know but that makes sense, I guess so they point out the secret passages to hogsmeade. Eat, how are you? Go? So on the secret map pastures and ends up in Honey tricks off like an hour walk. So we end up in the honeydukes sneaks up and run Hermione. He's like surprises them. Hermione is kind of sketchy about the map because she says that serious black may be using one of the secret pastures to enter into Hogwarts, but Harry brushes this off in the way that he's like, well the map helps me so I'm going to say that no serious back isn't using the passages like no then they were and hogsmeade and it sounds like the most festive amazing thing in the world. Ya know like it sounds amazing. Sounds well good. I just want to go like I know like the Wizarding World in America has this but I it's not cold there. It's in Florida. I want to go in Scotland when it's minus 10 degrees and I wrap up in a scarf like weird because I have like models snow and you're like, but I could see the sky and it's really sunny exactly. Like I want to go with like heaps of snow on the ground. Yeah. They decide to go to the three broomsticks and Ron goes all read when he mentions Madam Rose motto when he goes to get the drinks and I believe unless I've missed something. This is the first hint of romantic feelings from any major character in the books. I don't think is romantic. Okay sexual. Yeah sexual like damn these but like literally later on in this book. We found out that Harry's like Tommy Phillips when he sees chocho. Chang but Rod is actually the first person who we see like go all red and embarrassed and I don't know action under the table Yeah. I just want to interesting that it's wrong as he is the most sexually backwards out of the three of them section Warehouse. He's actually backward. He's just as all angry when Hermione kid finds out Hermione is kissed crumb and like ends up getting with lavender just because he's jealous or other than I don't know. Yeah. I also just realized I have a note that we miss Ware. Hair is like going down the passageway. Yeah to hogsmeade. It says that there's like 200 stairs. He has to go up. I would have turned around and come back done with this shit her. No. No, you didn't say that was stairs. I'll take the Whomping Willow over the stairs. Do you not like stairs? Does anyone like two hundred stairs? And it might sometimes I get bored of waiting for the lift at some underground stations and they're like 250 stairs only. Lee take if necessary and I'm like, I'll do it your freak who do it sometimes Tottenham Court Road, is that the one that's covered garden has to yeah cauldron it comment on is that many 267 it's not that many still wonder I hear it's nice sometimes makes a lift, you know, and it's like three stairs just to yeah in the middle of like a pavement. I'm like, no I didn't need to go to wherever I'm going. It's fine so they go in three rooms. And they get butterbeer. I really wish that they hadn't because now I'm having to drink this catastrophe. I wanted to say here that I refuse to believe the butterbeer that the Harry Potter franchise has made up that they serve in the Wizarding World and the studio tour is butterbeer because the butter in the book sounds fucking magical whereas that butter beer is like some sort of cream soda sugary shit. But you know, I tried to counteract this by making my own butter beer and it's also shit. So we've just got to admit that JK Rowling invented something magical that none of us couldn't recreate. I feel like it's some kind of like eggnog e / Bailey's kind of is more down that line than it is but they have Hawking Mass they have whole bottles of it. So I imagine it is more easily drinkable than like eggnog. There's also the question of how alcoholic is because in later books, we learn that winky gets drunk off it and the kids sneak it in for parties. So it must have some alcoholic base, even if it's not very strong, but I just love that JK Rowling in like JK Rowling wrote in like 30 girls having an alcohol in it. Fine, it's fine. But I imagine it's like 1.5% like it's week. So then McGonagall Flitwick. How do we have who who was that high? Grit McGonagall Flitwick Hagrid and Budge walk-in for what I wrote as some well-timed Exposition so we can finally move on this plot. Yeah, and I think this is a really random group of people like why are they together? The I'm like fudge the fucking prime minister is just gossiping about lineup Pub on a weekend kind of like no like confidential confidential but about like not really known like a government information. You're up in a pub with a weekend when there's those are students about like irresponsible. Yep. And also we haven't had much plot up until this point and then it seems like Jacob Marley was something like I need to really move the plot along so we find out through and this is a common theme in the Lee Harry Potter books the characters eavesdropping on some other characters but this one is the most blatant like a mining moves a Christmas tree so we can get some Exposition Madden was rata. M' Madam rolls murmur tar Madam M says how app character it was for serious to murder people. I would hope so it's like a release is like that my mom whenever there's been like some kind of like Mass shooter or so clever of like I just I just didn't see ya. It's like well, no, it's not because they've done it and it's not like, oh, I'd only seen the murder of three people before so the fact that they found on the seven it just really it's really okay like no, this is not well, I think she means he wasn't the kind of kid to be putting salt on slugs his whole life kind of fun though, isn't it? No, that's all slug. No, I did. I did it once when I was really drawn, we've all done it once I was so drunk and my useless university has some excellent because like I was like the mom but the house because they were all incompetent. They were like Charlie there's a slug in the kitchen and it was like I was like between me and my ex we drunken entire like one of the big bottles of vodka and we'd already been out before that. Like we won't like wasted wasted and I'm like am I like drunk and dealing with it was just like after fuck sake why am I having to deal with this? So just poured salt on it and then left and then in the morning really hungover. Like what if I don't move, I don't know anyway, but that whole thing of like monomers matter being like I wouldn't think he'd murder people it is where we discover for. The first time that Sirius Black was best friends with James Potter. Yes, like the first time we find that out and then in the next sentence we find out that Sirius Black is Harry's Godfather and then the next sentence we found out that he was used a fidelia's charm and was The Potters. Secret Keeper, so it's like bombshell after bombshell after bombshell for Harry. Yeah, and then they explain the Peter went after serious. Hmm Anna. Yeah sure. That sounds yeah Peter went after serious and then drift will find out if that was the truth or not died. Yeah and along with the load of Muggles and black was found laughing which is like I tried to imagine that the other way around as in like now, we know the real story that Is innocent, why was he found laughing and I suppose it's because he's so shocked and horrified that his best friend is dead or it's just one of those things that people make up like there's like embellishments people had Come Ye with laughing like because we see so many times like at Hogwarts how like gossip spreads it gets more and more embellished. No, you're right so it could just be bullshit. Yeah, literally you could just be bullshit. Could we learn then learn and actual tiny little nugget that ends up being Quite important that if like I hate the word nugget nugget that black asked fudge for the newspaper when fudge went to visit Azkaban wonder if that will be important and then my last night was just poor fucking Harry. Yeah, it's Bishop here and it's literally so many things why Winger in positions of power you don't just gossip in pubs. Yeah, like imagine if we went into like a London pub and we're like ahh Boris Johnson. It was Boris Johnson being like oh, yeah, that is that Hannah Twigs parents. Yeah, they were betrayed by trees May or oh they were like, oh, yeah, you know when we killed Diana, yeah, that was a that was a whole thing. I mean, it's like we went to a pub and heard Boris bitching about how Diana was an inside job. Yeah, it's similar levels. Yeah, there's literally and and they were doing it on like the day of life. Like Pride or something, like on the pride route. They literally they went into a pub on a pride route on the day of London pride and then sat in that really busy Pub having a gossip about Diana's out. How died under Seth was an inside job. Yeah. That's what it's like and the queen was there as well just in one of her hats just being like yeah. Yeah, you know who's next? I mean this episode is being recorded four days after we find out that Paula what is being proposed? How do you say it paused? Shutting down our Parliament to force through acts. Yeah. So we're going to immigrate who has a nice country. We're coming can ya can green cards or married? No because we don't want America. They have Trump know someone what are those nice European country like the Sweden Sweden or guidance? Not the worst my way like anywhere in like the Netherlands or yeah, I feel like that sounds really nice right now. So yeah Hannah would like a nice Europe. Ian husband. Yep. I not fussy man. Woman dog. No, I'm Joey. Wow, not a dog, you know, I'm scared of dogs. Anyway, no matter where you are on the gender Spectrum Charlie cont. I'm into it greeting cards to get out green card. We don't want to be American. We need a European passport. We need a European passport to get off our country. So if any of you are willing to help we have many appealing Le T's no listeners cocktail making that's not one of them. He's good at other things. I'm not sure what Neil assures me. There's something he couldn't think either I'm gonna The Fringe. Yeah. I've got a very good friend. Yeah. Thanks. I have we will wait to review all the plans are like I said Goblet of wine podcast at gmail.com email us. We're waiting for some marriage office you I hear back within 10 to 25 thousand working days. Then your application has been denied. Yeah, unsuccessful. Thanks for listening to this podcast. If you want more of this kind of check subscribe to our Patron and head to our Discord. It's might be the worst ending ever. Love you. Love you. Bye. Thank you for listening to this episode of Goblet of wine to keep up with us in between episodes. You can find us on Twitter at Goblet of wine pot on Instagram at Goblet of wine podcast. And on our website at www.ge.com. Wyandotte Co dot U, k-- you can also leave us a rating on review on iTunes or on Facebook. Thank you so much to our producer level patrons Sandra and Mark for their help supporting this podcast you'd like to support us as well as gaining access to behind-the-scenes it. Intent a bonus episodes check out our picture on on patreon.com slash Goblet of wine. Thank you so much for listening this episode. I will see you in the next one. Bye.
Hannah has many talents. Unfortunately, as we discover in this episode, making cocktails is not one of them. Yep, that's right, in today's episode we're drinking homemade Butterbeer to celebrate the trio drinking Butterbeer for the first time in these chapters. Only it's two recipes that Hannah made up, and can only be described as if someone has cummed an egg into a beer. I don't recommend you recreating them, but if anyone does want to, here are the recipes:    Ginger beer, shot of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Caramel Vodka, egg white, vanilla extract  Beer, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum, Toffee Liqueur, egg white  When we’re not gagging on Hannah’s vile creations, we’re going full British by discussing turkey twizzlers (and alienating every non-UK listener in the process), getting wayyy too into an idea for a Hermione/Wood smut fan-fiction, pondering over whether repair-o would fix a hymen, and drunkenly being completely unable to say any character names correctly. Also, due to the political state of the UK, me and Hannah are looking to get married to anyone with an EU passport. Please email us with serious enquiries only. 