Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of girls talk. My name is Abigail and I'm Caitlin. I'm Lauren and I'm sorry I've been waiting for someone to do that. So badly. I think you're good the best. Oh my god. I've been with because we never explained that that they should wait. So I've been waiting for someone to mess it up and I just love that you did honestly, perfect. I love it. Anyways, we have a special guest on today. We're very excited. We have Lauren on from what's your blog name? I can orange. It is Lawrence younits.com. Has it always been that. Yeah. Okay, I'm a pimp. She changed her like branding like kind of yeah. Hmm. That might be it. I don't know. I've been out of the hole like blog Loop for a while. So it's all good, aren't we all anyways, so we're very excited for today's episode because we're going to be talking about mental health, which is fun. We have never talked about this before on the podcast, but it's something I struggle with Kaylin. I don't know if you Struggle with it but mental health. Yeah. Yes, duh. It doesn't well, okay, very true. If you don't like please let us know how I want to know. Yeah. So before we get into the episode we're going to do some live updates. So Caitlin, Oh, I'm going first. Yeah. Okay. So I just have like a few little ones. So Thanksgiving was couple days ago. I spent Thanksgiving with Kyle's family and we literally got there at like 11:30 a.m. And by 11:45 a.m. His aunt was asking us to take two shots. I said no very politely everyone else took a double tequila shot and I was like, well, okay it is now my day is gonna be um, so that was my Thanksgiving. And then I Friday night. I I've been wanting to do this for a while and I just could never get up the guts to do it. But I wanted to dye my hair actually Brown like be a brunette and I don't know why because I always hate when people say I'm brunette and not blond. But so when I was at the grocery store on Friday, I passed the hair dye aisle, and I was like, let's just like look and I found one I liked so I bought it and so I went home Friday and I dyed my hair. And I just washed it for the first time since I dyed it so it's still wet, but I'm waiting for it to dry. So I can actually see the color of it. I can tell it's darker but I can also tell I should have bought two boxes because my hair is so freaking long because the ends of it are not as dark as the top of it is but it's definitely darker but I don't think anyone else will notice. I just think all notice because to me it just looks like I haven't washed my hair in 10 days like That's the color of my hair kids when I don't wash my hair, but now it's just gonna look like that all the time. So that's cool. That's literally all I've done. So that's my life. Right now. I have not had a lot going we did recorded like earlier 3 or 4 days ago. Not a lot has happened. We went to Thanksgiving. It was fine. It was my first holiday away from my own family. We were Are from like noon to like 8 o'clock at night. It was such a long day, but it was fun. It was good, you know got to know Brad's family on like a little more personal level and I guess I've been working really hard on trying to solidify and plan out my goals for 2020 for my business and just kind of get everything in order and try and figure out what the heck I'm doing. So I'm currently working on my personal website in training like making it less of a resume website and more of like a services like here's what I offer kind of website. So that's what I've been busy doing. And yeah, that's basically it. Okay. Hopefully I'm actually talking inter now and not randomly. Yeah amazing. That's funny. We all spent Thanksgiving with Our significant other families and not our own families. Oh, yeah. That's right. Yeah, I went to my boyfriend Jax house because my parents are five hours away and I had to work the days surrounding Thanksgiving. So I went to his house and that was really fun. And honestly, my life has been pretty much the same. I guess I've never been on here before but you know, my life has been pretty steady. I started going to Orange Theory which has been fun because I am really not an exercise person because like when I get to the Jim I have no idea what I'm doing. So I've liked having like the instructional aspect of that. I've only gone for like four or five classes now, but honestly, that's way more that I've gone to the gym in a really long time. So I think it's been helping me get there. So I'm enjoying that and I also just dyed my hair like Caitlin I did. Oh, yeah, I did. Yeah, I did Balayage. I think that's how you say it. Maybe I'm saying it wrong. But yeah, it's like more blonde now, which is fun because I've only Dyed it once before and I did like a darker brown. So this is definitely different than anything I've ever had. So that's pretty cool. But yeah, that's all that's going on with me. Okay. So we're going to take a brief break for our sponsor of this episode and then we'll actually figure out who Lauren and then we'll get into the topic of today's episode. This episode is sponsored by anchor if you didn't know Abigail and I use anchor to host our cast who even know you needed a podcast host not us when we first started in we're thinking about creating our podcast. So luckily for us Abigail stumbled upon anchor and it's what we've been using since day one. It is literally the easiest way to make a podcast because it gives you everything you need in one place for free. Yes free. Free2go means that you can use it right from your phone or your computer. The cool thing about anchor. Well, there's a lot of cool things about anger. But the coolest thing about anchor is that they'll distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard literally everywhere. That's how we're on Spotify Apple podcast Google podcast Stitcher pod Bean all the other ones. I can't remember the name of right now and you can easily earn money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. That's how we're making money right now me filming this ad so go download the anchor app or go to Anchor dot f m 2 get started now to create your own podcast. All right, we're back. So Lauren, who are you? What do you do introduce yourself? Oh, she rollin story 3100. That's the pressure. So, my name is Lauren and I blog over at Lawrence journey.com and I talk about a lot of mental health, which is why I'm sure they had me on today's episode today. I decide today twice, it's fine. I live in Massachusetts. I have a cat. I'm from New Jersey originally. And I teach children with autism and that's all I could think of to say about myself right now. You're definitely in the top there of liked introductions that we've had for guests. That was yeah. Well, thanks. You're welcome. Kill it. I don't know. I don't know where you wrote the thing for this episode. I know I was gonna say I wrote out everything for this but it's the week that Abigail supposed to host something. I feel like this is happening. Um, well, I guess we always just ask usually like how you started blogging or why you started blogging is one of the things we ask all our guests. All right. So I yeah started in January 2017, I think and it was my winter break of like junior year, I believe and I was So going through it having a rough time with like boys and I was just really pretty depressed and I was just looking for something to spend my time and like a more productive way and not just at my room and be sad, so I posted my first blog post. I think it was called something like you are not alone and I just kind of talked about like what was going on with my mental halls and I ended up sharing it with a bunch of people like that went to UMass with me. I and we're in my sorority and I ended up getting like a really good response and talking to people who ooh, I knew pretty well and I had no idea that they also had like mental health things going on. So I decide to keep blogging because I was like, oh like this could actually be helpful and like help people. So I did kind of like Branch out of my scope there and do more like travel like stuff when I was abroad and more just like random College stuff not exclusively mental health. But yeah, that's kind of how I started out. Yeah. I can kind of relate to that because whenever we've talked about this before but like when I started blogging it was kind of like an online journal and it wasn't really like to help. People it was like me kind of like talking and I think one of my first things was talking about social anxiety or something and then the guy that I was kind of almost dating at the time reached out to me about it. And I was like Wow me too and then that's how that happened. And obviously that didn't know because I know with that guy anymore, but we're not talking about that. I could really work out for the better. So Oh for sure. He's also engaged right now. I was like, well, I can't wait but I think it would be kind of important if we talked about for like all three of us if we're like clinically diagnosed with any mental health conditions or like if we just think we have one that's not diagnosed or anything like that. I don't know who wants to go first. I don't think over it looks fine. Yeah, so I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I believe I was diagnosed person the seventh grade and then around the same time that I started vlogging. I was diagnosed with depression. Yeah, so I'm kind of along the same lines except I was diagnosed with anxiety my junior year of college, but I've been suffering from it since middle school and I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I definitely have it it is like that. Those go hand in hand. So oh, yeah, I'm sure you have one you kind of have both. So yeah, I am not clinically diagnosed with anything. Although I'm 100% positive. I have social anxiety. I feel like I think I've had it my whole life. Honestly. I've always like people always said I was just shy but I really think that it's social anxiety and I guess we can talk more about it later. I don't think I have anything else because I get depressive episodes, but it's not like I don't think I have depression. I think it's completely different because I know people that have depression and I don't think I'm I don't think I have depression. Yeah, I feel like being like going through states of being depresses in normal thing for human. Yes, but when it's like extended I think that's where the issue comes in. Yeah, when it's like weeks and months at a time. I feel like that would be more depressed. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I've been waiting. You to like do stuff because this is your episode. I know you can talk about whatever you want. You know, I know I was trying my God. We're at three points. You don't have to follow them. Those are just questions. So I wouldn't forget them laughter is so I guess everyone's mental health kind of expresses itself in a different way. Like for me my anxiety that I didn't know I had was like it got to a point where like I would walk up to like across walked across the street and I would be like so nervous like what if what if the light changed like before I got there? Like, how should I handle this? Like what if like, I don't even know like I can't even tell you the thousands of situations that went through my head. I approached a stop light as a pedestrian. But like that's when I started realizing like hey, maybe this isn't normal. Like how have you liked? I guess. How did your mental? I don't know what I'm trying to say. How did it like first out? How dinner yeah, like, how did you think you like? Yeah. Something words are hard. Yeah. I totally get that. I remember like when I was younger I would have liked or I would complain of a lot of stomach aches. I don't know if like my stomach actually hurt. I have no idea. I like I don't I remember that party. Yeah, like I feel like that's a really common like presentation when you're like a younger kid because obviously like when you're like 7 you have no idea what anxiety is you're probably just gonna say you don't feel well because like you don't so I remember like complaining all the time about stomachaches and I had probably like every test under the side like I had I remember what it's called but like when they stick like that like microscope thing like literally down your throat like check everything out. Yeah. I don't know what it's called, but I had to have that like they put you out for it, but still like I wasn't Right about that. Um, I had that and they didn't find anything wrong with my stomach. So obviously my parents were like what is happening like the doctor had no idea and it took them like I feel like this whole process started like the third grade and I wasn't diagnosed until like the seventh grade so I don't know why it took that long to diagnosed anxiety. I have no idea. But yeah, that's kind of how it presented itself like back then now I don't think I get as many like stomach aches or maybe I just like know what the feeling is so I don't like Think it's a stomach ache. I honestly have no idea but that's how it all began. So did we did you like approach your parents feel like hey, like I think this is what it is or did they just like was it just through all the testing and like they were just slowly ruling stuff out. Yeah. I think they like start to pull stuff out and I'm pretty sure my parents like got me a therapist really had me going to therapy because like also with my anxiety. Like I really did not want to go to school like that was like my big thing. I think I like just didn't like to be like separated away from my parents because I enjoyed learning I just like Didn't want to physically go if that makes sense. So they ended up getting me like a therapist over time because they're like, well you need to go to school obviously. So I think yeah, it kind of came from that. I don't obviously remember the specifics because I was fairly young but yeah, that's interesting. I feel like a lot of people now like even if they were young they would be able to like be like, oh like I think I have this because I feel like it's talked about more now and I feel like the internet is Or present now so like even like kids in middle school and like late Elementary School have phones and on on the internet all the time. So they like have an idea of like what depression or anxiety and stuff is so that I feel like they'd be able to go to a doctor and be like, hey, like I think I have for sure which is kind of cool. Yeah. I feel like it's a lot like I mean, it's still like a taboo subject, but I think it's more like people are like more willing to talk about it, especially like at younger ages to like I remember like even Like high school, like I was afraid to tell people that like I had anxiety because I was like, they're not gonna understand what that is. And now I'm like I freely talk about it. I'm a lot of people like do relate to it. So yeah, it's very interesting. I don't know if it's just because I've gotten older or if like the times are changing, you know. Yeah, I also just feel like a bunch of I wouldn't say it's like the culture but I feel like our generation is like the generation has so many issues with them because of like just things that past Generations did to set up our lives and stuff and I feel like I don't know what the percentages I should probably look this up. But I feel like a very high percentage of our generation has some sort of like anxiety or depression, which is crazy. I know yeah. Yeah. It's I wonder though if it's like more people have it or if it's just like more diagnosed, you know, ya go. Mmm-hmm. That's true. Because I feel like that is true is very like because acid not talked about before, you know. Yeah, or it was like misdiagnosed. So does anyone in your family have a history of like mental health issues? Yeah, both of my parents do all the all the women on my mom's side have problems with anxiety and depression and some like thank you. I'm pretty sure all the women in my family have like OCD or like small sort of anxiety which none of them want my aunt was on medication for He stuff because it was really bad after she had her son. But now that I'm older and I talk to them like more about this kind of stuff. They're just like yeah, I do that too. And I'm like that doesn't like you don't think that's not normal and they're like, no, I think that's normal and I'm like, I don't think that's normal. I think you need to see a doctor about that. That's also I don't know. It's just a weird. Yeah, I don't know if that made no it definitely made sense. Yeah, I feel like a lot of people like the kind of like push it to the side and they're like, oh like it's on an issue. Like I've done it my whole life but like it might be like signifying an underlying my whole family's. Yes. Yeah, I feel like I make that excuse all the time. I'm like a my whole family's like this is fine. I don't need to do anything. I definitely understand. Um, so I since I'm not like diagnosis anything. I don't take any medicine or anything, I think. I think from what you've both told me. I think you both are on medications. Yeah. Do you guys think it actually helps or like is it hard to get on or I'm a whole different person now than I was when I wasn't on it. I mean like even a few I guess whose season like you can see how like when like my meds aren't working properly. You know how I just like wasn't myself. I mean I can definitely tell for sure. Yeah, and so it definitely changed like I don't wake up. Sad, I don't like not I'm motivated. Now, you know, I have regular eating habits. I sleep regularly now, it's not you know, it's way better than life was before it. Yeah same for me. I think it's definitely like helped me a lot. My medication is like changed like the different doses. But now I think like I'm finally on a kind of steady dose and I think it's been helping. I honestly don't think I would have been able to like study abroad or even move to Massachusetts like away from home if I wasn't taking medication because like I mean, obviously I still have anxiety but it's definitely not nearly to the magnitude and if that's the right word, but Like that it was before I started taking medication. I'm all for it agreed. I think it's like secret will die. So I really good. No, go ahead. Go ahead like very helpful in conjunction to taking medication. Like I think it like if you can I think doing both at the same time is probably the most like effective way at least like I found to Help. Yeah, I have found it so hard to get into therapy. Like I can't even it's been a struggle but I like just enjoying it or finding a good notice finding somebody just finding somebody people won't return your calls. You know, I know it's hard to get Germans. It's ridiculous. yeah, because I I was actually going to start seeing a therapist. I told Kyle this like two months ago. I had looked up all the therapists and within like 30 40 minute range that took my insurance and I went through all of like their bios and stuff and I found like one or two and then I was just like I don't want to call anyone but I don't want to actually go through this and then I got stressed about how much it would cost and then I was just like, you know, maybe I shouldn't do this and then I was just like I need to stop money to actually do it. Yeah, it's hard to motivate yourself to actually do it. And then once you do, it's so hard to get want to call you back. And then if you go and you don't like them, but it's like start the whole process again. It's like starting. Yeah, I was lucky when I moved to where I am. Now I Massachusetts like the first one that I found like I really like her but I was such like a rare thing for me. Like I've cycled through so many therapists in my life and like it. Yeah, it's really hard to find one you like have you or that takes your insurance if you only ever had It's really hard to find one that you like or that takes your insurance. Oh you cut out for like two seconds. So I'll even like two words and I was like that doesn't make any sense. But I was going to ask have you ever had female therapist? No, I've had male therapist to it just happens that the one I have now is female but I've had a male one that I've liked as well, okay? Okay, I've heard a lot of people say that they only like the certain gender that they are of the other gender. So I was just interested to know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I have a preference but I know some people definitely do. Um, so Kailyn, I know you mentioned earlier like the whole social media thing and mental health. So I kind of wanted to get you all his opinions on how social media like in my opinion I think social media has Her eyes mental health in a negative way in some aspects and like I don't know if you all feel the same but I feel like some people like use like anxiety depression is like a trendy thing, you know, I okay. I was going to say this earlier but I didn't want to offend anyone but I kind of agree but I also feel like I can't agree because we have no idea if they actually have it or not. It's really hard because if you don't want to make fun of someone if they actually do Have like a mental health condition but like you if they're like glamorizing it it's kind of like do you really though but like I don't want to second-guess them. It's yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it's definitely hard to determine like just from Reading like a small snippet online like, oh does this person like actually have this problem or do they not and like it's annoying because it definitely like contribu lies it. Oh, no, I think I just try to like ignore. I heard that part like okay, that sounds like kind of bad but like but like talking about like Mental Health Online, like for me has been really helpful and like finding other people who really feel like like I could necessarily say that like social media is like Negative for mental health but like I definitely can see like people like glamorizing it. So I really know where I stand I'm whole issue to be honest. I'm trying to think of an example but I don't want to put anyone on yeah. Yeah, I think this on trying to think of like I'm trying to get like a really famous like annoying YouTuber that no one likes anyways, and I can't think of what yeah, I feel like the smaller like I guess bloggers YouTubers Etc who have like a smaller following that are more, you know engaged and stuff like that. It's I feel like that's more genuine and real than like, I don't know just like the bigger people. I don't know like whatever I think like I know he's probably never talked about it. But I feel like like Jake Paul or Logan poems, like instantly pops into my mind because I feel like like not that they've addressed the issue like exactly but they'll kind of throw it out. Like I don't know. I don't know what I'm like how I'm trying to explain this know. I like definitely get what you mean. Like, I feel like they say it just like pull in more views or like try to be. Yeah well, but like they're not actually And like I guess like what sometimes when like larger like influencers or celebrities talk about it. Like it's almost like comforting to hear because you're like, oh wow, like these people like hat seem to have it all but there's still kind of going through like what I'm going through and like I can relate to them but like sometimes like it's very obviously like baked or not. I don't know if it's fake but like they're clearly like kind of just like using it to try to like get something from Their audience or like something like that. So like I don't know it's like Hard to tell I guess. Yeah, and just to save an example like how hard it is to tell like one of my YouTubers that I fall a lot is Alicia Marie and she would always like kind of just like so like oh, yeah, like I have anxiety. I like never go into it and I was like girl there's no way you have anxiety like your life is all put together Bona blah blah blah. She started a podcast I think early this year late last year and went more in-depth about it. And I was like, wow, I actually like believe you now like not that I didn't like knob. were before but I didn't think she was doing it for like clout or anything, but I was just like it wasn't believable but I don't know what I'm trying to say. Like it's just kind of like how I was saying are like it's hard to tell like if they actually mean it or not because like you're not in their brain all day long. Yeah, I think we even if you want to believe them, I think that's a good example because like when she really started getting popular that was like four or five years ago. So that was like in Peak, you know, only show your highlight reel like everything is bubbly and exciting and like super vibrant videos and all that stuff so I can see how Like I don't know that kind of hides it and especially I mean as a blogger myself like it's a very lonely thing so you can easily, you know, like hide that part of your life because you're not hanging out with other people and it's just like you producing the content so Mmm Yeah. It's a tricky tricky subject. So if not had anything else to say about that, I was gonna change the topic, okay? So you guys both have general anxiety yet? Yeah, okay, and then I have social anxiety. So I've always wondered kind of what the difference is. And so I feel like because I get really anxious like if I have to call someone on the phone like if I have to if I'm at a restaurant and they mess up my order. I don't want to tell them it's wrong. I'll just I don't like I used to not want to like order at restaurants because I didn't want to talk to anyone and like I won't talk to anyone and at work or like in social situations unless they talk. First because I'm always in my head. I'm always thinking like what if they hate me? They're just pretending to like me like they don't actually want to be around me. They actually hate me like that's what's going on in my head and I feel like is it the same thing but with everything is that which it like that ideas is I feel about everything you overthink everything honestly, I guess like yeah, I don't know how to describe it. Yeah, I guess it is like like the name suggests like more General like I guess mine isn't only a about social situations like sometimes it will be I think I've gotten like better about that than I have in the past. Like I definitely have the same feeling of like talking to people and I'm like, oh my God, like do they actually hate me and like that kind of stuff but I don't know. I think I'm still like fairly outgoing like with people but yeah, I guess it is like now I'm just like rambling. But yeah, I guess it sounds like more General because I feel like mine is Out like a bunch of like random stuff. Yeah, I just felt like whenever I mean I was like struggling really bad with it. It just feels like this there's this pressure on your chest and like everything is so overwhelming at all times and like you're thinking about a thousand different different situations about how one thing can go and it's just like it's so overwhelming and it just feels like this cloud is just following you everywhere. It's like hanging over you and I don't it just feels like like I don't know when I was first dealing with it and everything, you know, people were like, oh she's stressed. It's just dress like whatever. I'm like no, this is different. Like I know what stress feels like, this is like I'd like I feel like it's hard to breathe. I feel like my heart rate is always like super fast and like I don't know now that's like a really good description and I think Yeah, I would cry at like everything so I yeah, I had one did I have my first panic attack? I don't think I remember my first panic attack. I've had a lot more this year than I've ever had ever 2019 is literally so I cannot wait for this year to be over honestly hated it hated everything about it. What is your 2020 so bad. Um, a lot of panic attacks this year it was over like literally really not like stupid stuff but stuff like I'm just like why why do I care so much about that one little thing like, yeah. I've never had a panic attack in public though. So that's good. They're always in my car for in the shower. Look a big thing for me that I didn't realize wasn't normal was like someone would say something and like that sentence or that phrase or whatever would stick with me for weeks and months. Like oh my wait that's not normal Let It Go, like there's some things to this day. That's still like Bother Me Like Somebody probably doesn't even remember that. They said it but like yeah. Oh my God. I didn't know that wasn't normal. I don't think it's I thought that looks like me holding a grudge or me just being like like like so I can make a definitely like depends on like white it is you're remembering what if it was like a blatant insult than like, yeah, like I've got this pretty normal. Yeah, I feel but if it's just like yeah something totally random like then. Yeah. I don't know that happens to be a lot. That's where I'm like reading my whole entire life. Do you guys have like certain triggers or like? Yeah. I would say like I mean, I feel like this is pretty normal. But just whenever there's like a big life change or something, especially from like graduating was a big wine. I think I mean when I had that big ball of anxiety and depression at the beginning of October, I don't really know what caused that. I mean it was just Yeah, it just just there they do along for the ride the big life changes, you know. And I feel like I'm you know our age like it's pretty normal to feel anxious and stressed about the future. You know. Yeah, I think mine is like fairly situational like yeah, like life changes or like stressful things going on. But then also like sometimes it'll be like little stuff like I'll be thinking like I'll be driving somewhere and I'll be like, oh like is there gonna be like a place to park there like something like that? Oh my God. I have my body no idea. Like I don't know if there's anything like specific that like triggers it. It's just like a wide wide variety, but I think I have gotten like a lot better at controlling it and kind of like pushing the thoughts away. Where is like a couple of years ago? Like I wouldn't be able to turn things off. So yeah. Can we just take a minute to drop her that perfect thing for a second because there have been so many times. I'm like no, I don't want to go because I don't know if they're going to be parking in a don't even have to park on the street. I don't know if there's a parking lot. I don't know. I have to look up directions. And then what if the directions are wrong and like what if I'm just thinking about all these random things and then I'm just like if someone were to be like oh like let's go to my house and said a dick. Okay, because I know exactly like how to get there. I know how to park and there's no changing factor that that's yeah. I know. Yeah, I relate to that a lot. Like where I'm living right now is like pretty city like and I absolutely hate parallel parking. I'm just not good at it and I especially hate it when like can't you're on a road and you're trying to parallel park and like there's another car like coming behind you and they're waiting for you and you're just like go around like you don't want to watch this like it's so bad like that. Oh my God. Those are like the worst. I'm like thinking about going somewhere. I'm like, oh my god. Do I have to parallel park? They're like, oh I was going to a restaurant with my friend the other night. Night, and I didn't know if there's really a parking lot or not. So I just started like spyler that wasn't a word spiraling in my head it like didn't escalate to the point of like a panic attack or anything. So it was definitely more like of a mild anxiety kind of thing, but it's still something that's like there and it's like I'm spending my time to think about that if that makes sense. So like that's annoying but like it's like it's like I've kind of learned how to deal with This is kind of related but like not so this is just me being interested. So I do this thing where when I'm listening to music very loud in my car. And I do this thing where when I'm about to like parkour when I'm somewhere and I'm like don't know where I'm going and I have the directions on I'm like which way do I turn I turn the music down the sound so weird. I turn the music down so I can my mom not the normal thing to do. It's like so you can process your thoughts better. I didn't even recognize that I did that until I was in the car with Kyle's brother one time and he literally said that he was like hold up. You gotta turn the music down so I can see and I was like, wait, what do that? And I was like do other people do. Yeah. I know I think a lot of people do that. It's just so funny to like put it into words and think about yeah, it's so strange. Yeah, I don't know if the word see is there. It's like to concentrate I guess. Yeah, it's just so funny when he said it I was like wait what that's like I know exactly. Would you have any advice for someone that is dealing with mental health or having a really bad mental health day. I think like the worst thing for me is to keep it like all inside because then like I'll just kind of spiral even more and like just go further like deeper into my thoughts and like think of a hundred different situations and things. The way things can play out and like I'll just get so much worse. So for me definitely talking to my parents or to my boyfriend or going to therapy. I think that's like it's like talking to friends. Like that's definitely helped me a lot and like in conjunction with medication as well because like if I'm just sitting like in my bed doing nothing just thinking like I'll just like go straight into like a spider also like definitely talking and I'm definitely lucky to have like people in my life that are understanding and like You know, like what anxiety is and like don't trivialize it because I know it could definitely be hard for people if like the people around them like don't understand it. So it's definitely easier to say like, oh like talk to people don't like it can be like actually do that. So it's yeah, it's like a tough situation because like that's definitely the thing that helps me the most but like I know for some people it's just like not very feasible, but Yeah, that's my thoughts on that. Yeah, I just kind of like to be left alone. So you're the opposite. Yeah, I don't know like I'm kind of I kind of have the mindset of I just need to make it through today. And when I wake up tomorrow, I'll feel better because you usually in the mornings like I feel better after I've had a nice night sleep. So I just like try to focus on making it through the day. Yeah, it's definitely different for everyone. Look. I'm like a mixture of both. Because like a mix, yeah, like I have a really hard time putting like how I'm feeling into words and like trying to explain to someone why I'm feeling anxious or what I'm feeling. Like I just can't like it's it doesn't work because I don't just really not get it like explaining my emotions like that. Yeah. It's so different like they're everyone pi. I feel like talking to someone would help me so much. But the thing is I feel like I just cannot talk to anyone. So kind of when he said Lauren so I'm just kind of like stuck and I'm also just going like once today. What's tomorrow comes like I'll be fine. Like I already I've always had the mentality that like, oh tomorrow's a different day like tomorrow will be better even if like it. I've been thinking that for like five days in a row and I was just like tomorrow will be better. But that's why I feel like journaling really helps. me it's definitely not the same as talking to someone sometime usually like I'll have like a few bad days and then I'll be like I have to talk to someone about it. So I'll usually either talk to like my sister or Kyle about it. Sometimes they understand and sometimes they don't because I feel like it's hard to understand like if you're not experiencing it. I don't know. I will say like two people in the like a recent few months. Like since I've been working from home, it's easy to you know, get depressed and kind of in your own head. So I will say like calling my mom just to talk not even about like how I'm feeling but just like I don't know just to talk about whatever like that does help but the minute I try and start explaining like what I'm feeling it just nope. Yeah. I feel like I can express more of how I'm feeling not by like saying it but not by like writing down how I feel but like If I like find if I'm reading a book or like if I'm reading like poetry I'm like this. This is how I feel like they wrote it for me. That's how I feel. I can't really put it into words most of the times because I'll just be like Oh, I'm stressed because of this thing and they're like that doesn't make sense. Like what does in my eyes hard to like Express sometimes because like what you're saying like my like make perfect sense to you, but like it sounds so irrational to someone else. A lot of times I like say something and I'm like, I know this sounds crazy and it makes no sense. But this is why I get all the time because I'm like thinking about like so many different like possible situations that could happen in the future and I'm like, I'm stressed because this might happen even though it's like five days in advance and I have like absolutely no idea like yeah, so it's like it sounds crazy to someone else but it's like completely like what you're thinking in your head. Yes, it's like I I used to do this more in high school, but I used to literally plan out every single day. Like when I would go to sleep I'd lay down and in my head and I'm okay. This is exactly how tomorrow is gonna go and I don't do it as much anymore but there are definitely like moments or like events that I plan out in my head. And if one thing goes wrong, I'm like no I can't I can't do it anymore have to leave this isn't working for me. Yeah, I totally got that like there's something that's like stressing me out like about tomorrow. And I'm like, oh if this happens and this is going to happen or if this happens then this is gonna happen. Like I like every like five different scenarios like planned out in my head of like way that things are going to go and like in reality. I have absolutely no idea. I'd like there's no way to control it. So like yeah, no I do that like every day. I mean, it's nice because it like it helps you prepare for different situation, but then it also sucks because then you're thinking about every single bad thing that could happen time. It's like I just want to sit here and watch the office and I can't because I'm thinking about like a million things are going to happen tomorrow. Lauren have the EU prepared questions for us. If you have any I did think of some questions, so I think yeah. So the first thing I thought about is I know you are both really into fitness. And coming from someone who is not very into fitness. Like how have you think? Well, I can't form a sentence. Like how do you think that like exercising like has helped with your mental health? Like if it has Josh like how did you like start doing it? It gives me a release from just the day-to-day life. Like when I'm in that moment and I'm you know, pushing myself in struggling like that's all I'm focusing on and so it's nice to it like shuts off everything else. Like that's the only thing I can focus on so like kind of calms my brain. It makes my brain a little more quiet. So I guess my answer is going to be that good because recently working on has kind of been stressing me out. I don't I can't figure out why like I will go to the gym, but as soon as I get there I get super stressed. It's not that I haven't been enjoying it like today today. My workout was great. But also I feel like it may I feel like I'm on my phone too much and then I just I don't get I don't let myself enjoy working out because I'm looking too much at everyone's perfect Instagram life in between sets. So today I did not let myself do anything on my phone while I was working out and I felt great. So I feel like if I actually continued to do that. working out We'll go back to being like a release for me as of right now. It's not really. And I go through phases of that as well, which I think I mentioned we're sometimes working out to me is like the best thing ever and sometimes it's like stresses me out. And it also depends on what I'm doing. Like if I if I'm really sad, I don't really want to go lifting. In the gym, it just makes me more depressed because I'm already sad and then I'll just get sad about how much weight I'm not lifting. So if I'm sad I'd like I like I prefer cardio instead because then I'm in it's okay if I'm in my head the whole time because you're not doing anything else and usually if I'm doing cardio, I'm either running outside, which thought about automatically makes me happier or I'm on a treadmill like or StairMaster like watching a Netflix show that I freaking love. So like I feel like when I do, Hardy I'm always happy after it just really is hit or miss when I'm like lifting when I used to do spin classes, they helped so much. They made me really happy. They would always make my day better, but I haven't done a spin class in like two years and I haven't done one of my new gym because I have anxiety about going to them that's like interesting that you're saying like the have like the different. Types of exercise like affect you because like I never thought about that before but like now I can like looking at like my own life. I totally see that like running outside for me is the complete opposite like it causes me so much stress like I hate it and then since I've been like doing like or I guess not even like orange theory, but like just like group fitness classes in general like that's like when my mind like kind of like clears out because I'm just like focusing on like what the You're saying and like doing that but like I don't have time to think about everything that's going on in my mind. So yeah, and when I'm in group fitness to I'm also I'm a very very competitive person and not to brag but when I use at least when I used to go to spin classes, I think I was a person there. Maybe I wasn't but in my mind I was and so when I'm in the gym, I'm obviously not but like strongest person there which also leads to my stress. And I'm like, why are they lifting more than me? That's not fair, which is why I can't do it when I'm having a bad mental health. That's so funny. I just like know that I sock. So I'm just like it's fine. Everyone else is automatically better than me because I'm not in shape. Did you have another question or was it just the way I like have another one? I'm just like trying to think of how to word it. So give me one second. Okay, you're good. So I guess like so when you guys are like I literally don't know how to wear this. I like know what I'm trying to ask. So I like can't think of what to say. hmm I like basically was like trying to ask like her like work. Like do you guys like feel like you're so like in the zone that like it like kind of distracts you from everything like kind of going on like mental health wise or like do you find it hard to like concentrate at work because of that like, I don't know if that question made sense, but oh my God, no that made so much things I could. Hi. I can never focus on anything at all. I am like the most scatter brained person ever. I will be doing one thing one second and then five seconds later. I'm just over here like la dee da dee da like I don't know what's going on. Like there's this there's this GIF of Boo from Monsters Inc, or she's dancing in a circle singing while the law and I'm always like that's me like 24/7 because I've no idea whatever's going on, but at work, I'm like, I feel like I would be able to concentrate. Great so much more if I did not have my phone with me, but I always have my phone with me because I'm always listening to a podcast but listening to a podcast is what makes me be able to focus because it's the same person talking for hours and hours and hours and nothing is changing so I can focus but with such a can't you listen to it on your computer? Okay. The thing is I have a I don't have a Macbook at work. I have an iMac. And I have my corded headphones and they don't want to the behind the behind the monitor. And I could use my I guess I could use my wireless headphones. But I like to only use them for the gym because they're already secondhand and they're gonna die soon. I don't want to have to buy new ones and I don't care if my Gordon headphones drop dead because I've bought like five pairs of these already before and they're like 10 bucks. So well, they're like $20. But I also can't concentrate at work just because I'm changing tasks every like 15 minutes. I need to be able to do the same thing all day long. Some days I have good days. And then some days. I'm just like oh my God, it's only 9:30. I thought yeah. I feel like it like when I'm working on something. No, you don't really like having anxiety or anything and it does distract me but then because I do work for myself and right now like I'm just starting out like a don't have a lot of work to do. So when I don't have a lot of work then I start having anxiety because I feel like I should be doing work, but then I don't have work to do so it's like this whole spiral. But I try to avoid but yeah. Yeah, the only other time that I really had troubles with social anxiety at work, cuz when it's always when I just first start working it's like asking for help with stuff. I any time I've ever shared a new job. It would take me like 30 minutes to ask for help with something and now I'm just I'm just like hey guys, I like I know how to do this. All right. So I think that just about wraps up this episode. So thank you guys so much for listening. Thank you Lauren for coming on we love talking to you and we'll have all of your information Down Below in the show notes. So if y'all are listening go check her out and you can go follow us on Twitter. I girls talk without the A and podcast Caitlin. Did you actually include it in the show notes last week? I did. Yeah, I Update the template we have in Trello, but besides that I did write it in there. Yeah. Oh lord. For some reason. We just, you know didn't think that you needed the actual links as we said it so many times but some people are lazy. Yeah go follow us there. Go check out Lauren go check out her blog social media is all that fun stuff Caitlin and eyes are always in the description so you can go check us out as well and right interview us and then so long. Yeah, right interview us and iTunes if you want or apple podcasts. What is it? I don't know what it's I don't know. I'm just it's Apple account is that I just ran away. I think so. Okay. I don't know anyways, right us. But not like us individually. Yeah. Yeah, so that's about it, and we'll talk to you guys in another episode next week. Okay. Bye.
We've never addressed mental health on the podcast before, so we figured bringing on a guest who's all about mental health awareness, stigmas, and solutions would be the perfect opportunity to discuss such an important topic. This week we speak with Lauren Pepperman from Lauren's Journey. She's a mental health, lifestyle, and travel blogger, and she's also a huge cat lady and fan of this here podcast! We hope you enjoy this episode, and there will be many more to come addressing mental health! Okay bye! Caitlyn & Abigail Check us out! Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/GirlsTalkPodcst  Send us an email: girlstalkpodcast99@gmail.com   Episode Idea Submission Form: https://forms.gle/dLruKktTsPPPR7uL6  Lauren:    Blog - https://laurensjourney.com/   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/laurenpepperman/   Twitter - https://twitter.com/laurens_journey  Abigail:    Blog - http://livingthegraylife.com/    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/livingthegraylife/    Twitter - https://twitter.com/livingthegray   Caitlyn:    Blog - http://lifewithcaitlyn.com/    Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/CattyElizabeth5/    Twitter - http://twitter.com/CattyElizabeth5  Music:    Friends by Ikson @ikson Music provided by Free Music for Vlogs youtu.be/0sUIfW8R2BM   ---   This episode is sponsored by  · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. 