Is podcast is brought to you by what my reading the UK's most influential wedding brand. Hello. Hello, how are you? Doing? Good. Good me too. Thanks for asking. And now we're recording for my new head office today. It's very exciting. So those of you that don't know we moved in to our new offices about a week ago and it's very rural here extremely rural it's and dog-friendly last night of being bounded up to me as I was getting into my car. Yeah, they'll be friendly offices and we're in a big sort of like converted. Fang they should say yeah very spacious. We're in our specific podcast recording like we've got a phase of your big open plan office and then it's got a separate kitchen separate Lou obviously thank goodness. And and then like a little kind of see saying it's a cupboard is not is not it's not good enough for their just slightly bigger than a footage slightly bigger than a storage cupboard but is where we can have these podcasts. Yes, very exciting indeed and To do at start the podcast today to say thank you to everybody for their support with a podcast and I normally say at the end. Thanks for listening and thanks for getting in touch and blah blah blah, but I thought I'd start because you know by the end of the the end of the podcast you busy you got planning to be getting on with so y'all got time to listen to the very end at some point in at the start. We really enjoy hearing from you and your engagement is so encouraging. We enjoy doing the podcast so much in there, but my wedding is in completely ad free. So the podcast will always be ad-free you'll never get Any annoying interrupting ads for as long as we've recorded of them, she's really exciting. You eat a lifestyle blog about my style dot k dot U, k-- there's a post on there that I wrote about how the whole brand is now essentially ad-free. So you'll never be as Becky said interrupted by adverts on this podcast might be interrupted by us waiting some dodgy musical wofully. Yeah, but yes, so if you have enjoyed listening to previous episodes and you enjoy this episode it would be Really lovely. If you could leave us a little five star rating on a podcast or iTunes give us a little review because it just helps everybody else to find us when they're searching for wedding-related podcasting things. Thanks waffle out the way we're going to talk about today. She'll I'm going to talk about alternative wedding Rhymes. So how to get Your friends and family involved in your wedding if they want to be involved if you want them involved, but they can't be anything that disposed what you've called traditionally specific. Yeah, there are obvious roles. So Usher's bridesmaids Etc. But yes, we're going to talk about the alternative role. So maybe you only have budget for two bridesmaids but you've got other girlfriends that you would close to and you want them to be a part of your day or you want relatives to be involved and this is where this episode comes into its own. So I'm going to go well Going to go through a series of alternative roll slow roll. Number one is readings. So we have a whole episode dedicated to readings where we talk about how to pick the perfect person for readings types of readings that they can do ideas for reading so you can pop back to that episode and tune in for more chat specifically about readings and how to choose the ideal candidate to do a little reading it ceremony you want someone who's confident it speaking or reading and public. It's not a role to assign to someone who isn't keen on it because public speaking. And some people into a wreck again. We talk about that more in that previous episode anyway, and alternatively to choosing a grown-up. You can always choose a child to do a reading well, which is something that we've seen in a few Real Weddings. They're often less daunted by those sort of tasks. They think it's great that they're doing a little performance or yeah, and so perhaps if you have nieces or nephews for example, but no budget for a flower girl or a pageboy tight roll. This is where you can really get them involved you. Need to make sure their parents are happy to be back up just in case you never know kids gone Rogue. You never know just make sure that they can help Cokes and getting through it if they had a little bit stuck or a little bit nervous. I think that's a really nice way of including little ones in your life as well rule. Number two. I've just briefly mentioned flower girls and Page boys. So we thought go a little bit more into those roles and how you can get children involved in other ways because I think flowers girls and Page boys are difficult because it's the age groups for those isn't it? What's the cutoff what style I mean what what constitutes our flower girl as opposed to a bridesmaid or yeah. What so I would Define a flower girl then if you would agree as a child between sort of three and seven. Yeah, I guess so I think land 3 asking for a bit of trouble in there. Yeah. It's that direct and of them and that their level of understanding is not quite there yet they all you need to do is From here to there. Yeah, and that you sort of did they, you know, they still burn off wherever they want to have that your daughter has just turned one on your hip when you are in a very spot Lizzie take her up the aisle and just pray pray pray that she doesn't puke on you. That was my experience. That was that your sister's wedding. That was yeah that Melissa you sure about this because I'm going to have to carry fine sign. Okay. Did you survive son's puke? Luke I did I why Sons puke but there was dribble my hair. Yeah not to put you off should you wanted to include you evaluate? I guess your wedding. Yeah, if you're looking at including a child under the age of 3, you're probably going to have to have someone walk with them. Yes, whereas if they're three they could possibly do that little journey by themselves. Yeah, or if you have a slightly older flower girl to take the Young Guns down. So yeah at my sister's wedding my daughter who'd just And five took cousin down the aisle who had is not quite to yet. But this is a thing. So Mabel my daughter was trying to go to the right which is the right way and Ira hadn't got a Scooby and I think I saw head dad at the end and was like Daddy and then tried to go to the way so my husband had to like conniff come in from nowhere like this intercept this intercept at put the kids the right way as some kind of like suited and booted like bridesmaid, I guess behind everyone else. That's the fun of the day goes another wave including the friends and family in your but. Yeah, so that's a really good idea like this a slightly older flower girl can help get the young ones down. That's because I would say the cutoff is probably seven eight ish for flowers. It's really difficult for me at that point. Like I'm yeah. I'm trying to imagine my niece doing that role now and I think she would feel a little too old. So she was ten this year and I think she'd be a bit like But I want to be a bridesmaid. It's like it's quite a tricky and this isn't that respect. It's a is a group of people going at the aisle. It's more I said, it's more about the outfits and what they're comfortable in that setting for their parents are comfortable with them wearing and you want them to wear and like our works with your wedding wouldn't want to wear the same dress that four-year-old is wearing. Yeah, and that's where exactly they don't have to be called one or the other. It's more. Yeah what they're going to wear and how are they gonna be a part of the day I suppose. Yeah. That's it. there isn't a traditional term for that in between any sort of age is that you might turn my bridesmaid from say the age of 14 or 15 or some but what about when they're you know, number eleven twelve Yeah, my two of my bridesmaids actually, all three of my bridesmaids were that in between the age of mentioned before I'm sure they were sort of eight 10 and 11 and I just put them in the adult dresses the same dresses because they were very good early anyway, so they can get away with they was altered and they could Get away with it. So it's really about matching it to their personality, isn't it? Because some girls and which will some children are much younger or much older headed than their actual age. Anyway, yeah, they want to wear a tutu when their tenant, you know spring down the aisle then why not? Yeah, actually, yeah, so it's one of those things where it's screw the tradition again, isn't it? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense because there isn't a specific role for those kids in that age range and the doesn't have to be they can just be whatever they want to be. Yeah for a few petals down the aisle or whatever your day awaiting your arrival. Okay, so the same goes for page boys. I do that in quotes because it's you know doesn't need a term. Does it really nice but the same for them I guess treat them suitably as for the age that they are and it's nice actually for the older ones the slightly old ones like maybe eight nine ten years to give them that little bit extra responsibilities give them a sign to carry down or you know, throw the petals like I just mentioned before they could even maybe ring bearer could carry the Rings down. Yeah, just just that little element of air. Extra responsibility for that slight slightly older child. You want to include? Yeah in the day. Does that make sense? It does? Okay. Cool. Rule number three. What's the number three shall confetti distribution. Oh, yes, I think traditionally the handing out of confetti is signed to Usher's. Yeah. I yeah, so you go to the ceremony VA in a venue or outside or in a church or wherever it might be and you know, you're giving it as you go in I put mine on the Sometimes he crawls away from anyone. But yeah, but that is also a role. Someone has the reality of outdoor that on the chairs for the confetti or the orders of service that I think actually come up that's actually roll number four. So let's backtrack. Okay, but again, it's another role that doesn't have to be one of these it was traditionally the you sure that would do that. It could be your tweenager that you want to include or I know a friend or Auntie. Yeah. Yeah who really wants to do something and feel like She's contributed. That's a great role for for them. And you know, we've seen in a few real burdens like confetti stations or you know, yeah, so someone feels like the morning Manning's nothing. But yeah, if you go to our DIY section and what my wedding dot k dot u k you will find a DIY confetti station than well. At least the maze. Yes, so it's very easy to do very straightforward simple to follow cost-effective provides you with a beautiful piece of deco. When you today, yes, does that leads us nicely onto a roll number 4 which is the order of service distributor. Like we've just said is the similar or to look at the confetti. I think guy or gal that he's gone. My ideas are being some kind of logistics and finally the way I'm worried that she's written these rows just say no. You don't have to say to somebody Helen would you be my order of service distributor? Hey listen, I'm trying to help everybody here with a clear. Clear and concise organized list waiting rolls Charlotte. She can't breathe. But the point the point of all these roles is you have loads of aunties and uncles and friends and nosy people that just want to have a role. He's the one just do for you in the more petite. My they are extreme. I realize do you want hands over confetti really, but I will look well. My dad's best friend Jane. So they've For instance illiterate school and so like we've grown up with that if I'm gonna thing and I want to test you a reading and the whole way through she was flashing a bra. Well, she I'm going off at a tangent here, but it just reminded me because again this whole thing about the things that don't quite go according to plan what really make your wedding. Yeah, and when we have the photographs back, so I'm not sure how many people at the time notice because obviously I didn't I was just about to get married. So the last thing I was going to be looking at was James undergarments, but in the photos we have back there was a proper like like fancy bra Roswell was Jane Moore if you've got it flaunt it she was oh no and that's it. We had to do a little bit of Photoshop. I'll bless Jay. Yeah Belleza the moral of this story is try not to flash your bra when doing a reading to her congregation, and if you're going to do it where a fancy one. Yeah. Hang on. Let's move on to roll number 5. Wedding MC. Right? So if your Venue isn't providing an mc mc as Master of Ceremonies for anyone who thinks what you want about if they're not providing an MC for the day, then this is a great role for you know, that big character. Everyone's got one that likes to be a little bit center of attention and doesn't mind cracking a joke here and there almost like a compare it is exactly like that. Basically that their role is they need to be super confident. You need to make sure they don't drink too much because you need to get past the speeches there. Wrong, we'll take them past. The speech is to the end of the speeches because they will introduce the speeches have a said speeches and if I'm not sure introduced the speeches they will introduce you into the room as the new mr. And mr. Mister and missus Missus and Missus. They will unknow say when the speeches of ended and then they're on to the evening celebration. They can coordinate some of the photos for you. Make sure that everybody here is right in them. They can holler at ready for its Jay. Come on. We see your bra. If you're having like group shots and things like that. Absolutely and I know that a lot of you won't want 57 million group shots, but you will want some of your family and friends and you need that person who's going to be like right Bob. Yeah get in the photo may put your drink down. Yes, definitely and they'll be they can be the guy or girl who that you might have a couple of things you have to pay for on your wedding day like you might have to pay your band as they leave or you might have to you know, You never know that this is the guy or girl that you can delegate that job to that's all comes as Master of Ceremonies in my life. Someone who's very organized. That's the one organized confident doesn't mind having a mic in their hand. Yeah. That's your person for your wedding MC. Okay, next roll roll number 6. I'm going to lose count of the numbers in a minute. Alright, how about who is going to witness your wedding? Yeah, dude. That's always when I forget about yes who witnessed your wedding you remember? Yes. Yeah, and here the calls it's burning now. It was one of my very good friends and then James and one of his very good friends nicest. Yeah, we had our mums to witness it. Okay, because again, you know did that moms don't really have a role as such do they? I know they come with you and wedding dress shopping and all the way down. Yeah. Oh they can walk down the aisle, but we thought our mom's a traditionally do now. Yeah. We thought it'd be really nice to ask. Yeah, that's nice and they were thrilled because they thought it was ever so important so it isn't practical. Signatures for weeks before and some chicken. Yes, that's pretty straightforward. You've got to pick two people and have them sign your register. Once you've signed it. Okay. Yep, next roll. What about chauffeur? Mmm. You don't necessarily have to hire in transport. You could ask somebody that you know to be your transport is actually they're really into cars especially if they're into cars. You never know. You might have an Auntie and Uncle that's got some sort of super duper old-fashioned car. I don't know anything about God. But well, that's just got a super duper like new car or anything, you know, just a car or any sort by any way that you get to where you need to go and involve a special person. Yes, which also sorry I'm gonna laugh in a minute. But again, hi Edward have a special role for you for wedding, but you just drive just drive us around. Thanks, but you laugh. Laughs and you're making me laugh because here we had now Jane Edward Allen Allen that journey is a special Journey because it's the last one which only the journey on the way to the red in Franco is in the one where you're in the car get in to your Venue. If you're not already at your Venue obviously won't need a car to get you to venue. But if you do need one, it's a special Journey because it's yes quite nervous and excited and it's a special half an hour 20 minutes when I 18 I have to drive around the block a few times. So if it's someone, you know, you can have a balance with them and just another element if somebody, you know to relax you a little bit and if you need extra transport as well, I'm so you may be hiring a car or whatever. It might be for say the bride. But actually you need to take your mom and your dad and all the other bridesmaids. So unless you're going to have a minute. Yes good point. So yeah, you know for needed somebody be in charge of taking those for you and yeah, I'm coordinating it in terms of like the times and everything else. Yeah. It's that little level of responsibility and that you've got to get the bride to the church on time and make sure there's some some champagne the job lie. I mean, you could even buy them a little hat. I'm good. Here's a special show for that. Yes. So I think that's a really nice roll. Yes to give to somebody responsibility and also the part of a special. Yeah little yeah, I think so now another role, let's call it row late. Let's do that following your numbers. Having Beauty. Yes. So maybe you have a friend or friends who are excellent at hairstyling and or makeup application. And that's a nice way to bring people in it is one of my friends actually did my bridesmaids hair. Whereas I had a hairdresser. Do you mind? Okay, but she was I bang on with the old really ghd waiver. Oh, oh, yeah. I need one of them. Excellent. I've got the curly version now. Oh, right what I can't I'm sorry looking at back either the way as you're listening to this like the curly version that's staring at me like nickel knowledge goes of the thing that I have but I'm sure that it's called a wand. I think they are called. I mean listen to us and it's quite phallic-shaped. Yeah, let's not let a bit thinner at the end. Let's be honest about it one of those 1s. Right? It's very good anyone who's listening to this and thinking about doing their own hair get one of the flight shape DHD one of the ones that Kill Ya go. Great, I mean vest moving on. Anyway, I was we were so but it doesn't necessarily have to be your friends who are going to actually do the hair or do the makeup they could just be more setback coordinating it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah sure. So I don't know the times of everything and having fun and yeah, definitely because actually there is a really anyone that does that because you know, it's maze don't really do that and you don't want me to get rid of them. So that's what I was going to say when you're getting ready in your dress. Normally you have somebody to help you do that, right? Have you had a K2? She do that. Yes, I didn't and it just so happened the timing of everything. My sister was sort of putting on her dress the same time. I was trying to get in my dress. Okay, and then it because I had like a fish tail number. It was quite difficult to try get my shoes. It's a my sister-in-law in the end was like zipping me up and then rather than kind of leaning over and trying to pour more champagne. She then pulled me sister and pain bites me for if like she could put my makeup in my little like clutch bag. Am I okay? Clutch bag for me and that was and I remember that so much about helpful because it was so helpful and I hadn't considered it. Yeah, and no one else has it's just one of those things. Yeah. And yeah, that's a great idea actually have you like a little and I also noticed a little beauty partner in crime. Yeah. Let's call them. Yes and just a note with if you have in your friends and/or to do your hair or makeup definitely still have a trial with them like you would if you were that how you need professional. Yes, just to be sure. Yeah the final role that I have. Tell you what, I'm living this title because I saw it and I just thought what is Becky recommending that people's friends and family do at the wedding wrong number 9. I have titled as performers. You've got anyone would like to cartwheel down the aisle what I mean is musical performance. Okay, if you have anybody who's handy with the violin or plays the guitar, you know, it wants to play you down the aisle. Or singer or someone who I mean come on them, but that's a bit subjective. Some people think they can sing in the car. I know I know I'm such a good thing. I do you mind if I send you down the aisle and you are thinking oh no, but yes anybody who is musically inclined who wouldn't find it a chore to perform. You can include them in your day. So an example of an example of this. I am have a friend a very old friend who got married a few years ago, and we used to go to Foreign art school together all our me just say that Becky is massively under playing this and that Becky used to be in a girl band who subject for another episode a subject for another episode. And and anyway, he's he still writes music and things now and he's very good friends with a lot of the people that we all went to this performing arts school together and as a unit they got together for his wedding and they made a choir and they all sang along his wedding. And just such a lovely Personal Touch, you know, it's really bringing his history into his wedding and sounded amazing obvious because they're all great. Yeah, so that's kind of where I'm what I'm getting at. Yes when I talk about any so Simon from we are the clerks who are videography and photography to who produced this podcast. Yeah, they did a wedding recently where the bride was a teacher over and she had her class sing. Oh, God love them honestly and let me cry I would not if I was at that wedding I would have cried and I have I don't know how she coped but it's anything like that. That's really lightly outside of the box. But personal to you doesn't have to be perfect. It's exactly doesn't have to be like some kind of polishness, you know Arrangements. Yeah, you can have your class of kids singing and that is exactly what I mean. That's what Me. Yes. So there's nine alternative rolls. Yeah for you to divvy out to all your loved ones. And if you think of any others that you so you might have thought of something really different based on. I don't know the talents and experience of your particular friends and family then please do email us at your hot class at what my wedding dot k dot U k-- and we get some really great ones will share them on our stories. Yeah, and we'll get them added onto all the show notes. So everybody else can see your incredible ideas. Yeah, I guess it just boils down to when you're trying to designate roles to friends and families just play on their strengths, isn't it? Like we talked about with readings. It's got to be someone that's confident and is up for doing it and maybe if you've got really Keen Baker's they could bring some cakes to the table are fixed to the table or perhaps they could make edible favors for you. He maybe they could bring a quiche. It's all those little things isn't it go back to their traits and their strengths and that's how you can and how they feel they want to be without having to have a traditional. Yeah, it doesn't have to be specifically role-based, you know, making a cake or contributing to a cake table or it's just that little element of involvement that you can give to people and make them feel a bit special if you wanna invite me to your wedding. I love making cocktails not I'm not saying I'm any good at it. But I just I just like that all the bits and Bobs that you can yeah snazzy umbrella. Yeah, so, you know, you could invite me to your wedding and I would have a cocktail station set up the cock. Turn station. I would be there. Yeah, yeah little things like that in it and you know just stick to one fancy cocktail, but you make sure you've got all the raspberries and you've got the Cucumbers. Yeah, a little crushed ice and all of that that can be your job. Yeah, that's exactly it play to the strengths. Yeah, that's and I and that's the your and ultimately it home truth. You can't be expected to include every single person in some way. They should be honored to just be guests at the end of the day. So yeah, don't put too much pressure on yourself to include everybody. This is just if you want to give someone a task to do here's a couple of ideas, you know pressure your day your way Selene the end and on that now yes, I don't have anything to say to sign off really because said at least at the beginning so because we like to keep it interesting for you all off you pop carry on with your planning and we'll see you in two weeks. See you soon about this podcast was brought to to you by Becky and Charlotte from Rock my reading the UK's most influential wedding band for more content visit with my reading dot code at UK follow us on Instagram at rock my wedding or by the book your day your way from Amazon or any leading book retailer. This podcast is produced by we are the flux.
You know when you just don't have the budget to buy all your mates a bridesmaid dress even though you'd love to? How can you involve them in your day without breaking the bank and making sure they still feel valued? Enter RMW The Podcast and our episode dedicated to alternative wedding roles. Wether it's having your niece perform a reading or your Uncle driving you to your ceremony, you can find roles within your wedding for everyone. If you enjoy this episode you might want to see this post too for even more inspiration. It's amazing to have help from friends and family on the run up to your day and on the actual day itself but remember, you can't be expected to involve absolutely everyone and they will be thrilled to attend your wedding in any capacity, even if that's simply as a guest. Enjoy the below articles where you can see alternative wedding roles played out to perfection. Stefanie & Donovan Nicki & Barry Vanya & David Abbi & Ash Sandra & Daniel Informal Roles In A Wedding Songs That Make Excellent Wedding Readings Produced by We Are The Clarkes // www.wearetheclarkes.com Music by Matthias Harris // https://musicvine.com/track/1134  ---   Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rockmywedding/message 