The back man, we're back here and tried back for part two with a great guest Loretta Kennedy. Did you enjoy the break I did we're going to cover some great stuff here. I've been doing a little research on you Loretta and when I talk about a little research I've done my very little I looked you up on Facebook, and I noticed that you were part. Out of part of a lot of different little groups, like you're big you're fond of animals, right? You are not would you consider yourself an animal activist? Not an activist, but yes the Furry Friends Ranch. Yeah, Florida. Yeah, that's where I got my little rescue dog from. Okay. Yeah. I saw that you promoted them. That's that's wonderful and I'm trying to think of what else you had on the page there. She's a biker. I saw my Harley. Did you realize you had a motorcycle? You mean Holly? I thought you meant like a bicycle. She was a motorcycle Enthusiast. I was tell people my bike. I got a Schwinn 6-speed looking for a run. And so yeah Molly, huh? I did that must have been awesome when it's hot. Yeah if you give it up. You know, I was up I was home Upstate so infrequently basically just on the weekends for years and you know got to kind of holy was it Softail Deluxe nice. So this is a know about motorcycles. Is it bad? Like if to give a guy a right on it like me on the back of it would look funny. Yeah. I had a solo seat. I didn't well, what are the groups? Are you part of their because Reason why I'm starting off with this is because I know that you're also part of you were involved somehow with drug dependency those issues, right? You're part of a group, right? What group is that? It's a group called cycle for Recovery cycle for Recovery. Yeah. What is it that they do? So it's a group. It's a nonprofit that has a number of people on the board of directors and an Advisory Board and there. Selected based on you know, their skills and their experience and their relationships to you know, continue to contribute to the growth of the nonprofit it started. What are they? How do they help drug addicts? So what they do is they partnered with SoulCycle and they have cycling events. They had to in the fall one in La when a New York both sold out there looking to do a couple of more and so they're raising money for people who Look at the drugs. Yeah, drug addiction and mental health issues. How did you get involved in the what brought you to that? So well what really started my whole journey was my son was an addict and it was very very difficult time in my life and my whole family's life and you know, it was while I was working. I was working at JetBlue when I really found out obviously anybody you talk to your kind of in denial for a long Long time but you know one day after you know, what was his drug of choice. Well, he started out with actually prescription pills for a legitimate basketball injury and that he liked the way it starts out. It's sad but it's true. So it started out with that and it was Vicodin that was was the prescription that he was prescribed and from there. He went to oxycodone and as Path goes eventually went to heroin. So how far back we talking about. How old was you sometime? Probably around 23 24 at the time. So 10 years ago. Yeah, because the opioid epidemic it seems like you know, you talk about the epidemic. It sounds like it's something that's the relatively new but it took you a couple of years to develop. I mean, they had a flood the market with these opioids first before they got everybody dick you think part of it. Is that it? It wasn't spoken about as much I think it's been going on longer than all this messaging is coming out now because it's affected everybody, you know across you know, the gamut, you know, men women. It's younger National crisis. It's a crisis and so there's so many Dynamics to it. And you know, it was it's a very difficult to deal with as a parent. It's very said this is why what you were working with JetBlue. Yeah, you found out yes. And when you found out did you find out when it was already at a bad point or did you feel like you missed out on a lot of stuff? Always did you notice right away something was off? No, it's gradual and you know, it starts off with you know, you know tiredness laziness, you know, just not being the person that he living with you. Yeah, he was living at home and was your working. Yeah. He was working. He was college graduate. So I I was working. Like I said, I was traveling a lot wasn't home a real lat. Do you think that had something to do with it now? Will you still marry with the time? No, so what do you kids were growing up you were you were married those those years between like 14 15 16 where kids might start experimenting know I was a single parent then okay as well, but you're working a lot you're working as a captain in the police department before that Lieutenant your hours are you know one thing? The police department is the hours. You never know what it's always me. It's always what you're needed. When what do you say what needs of the service needs of service and you rotten Hong Kong Island commuting in you? Have you have a son and a daughter? Yeah. All right, and but during those years you feel like he wasn't doing drugs and doing nosy as well. Look, you know as a teenager, you know, no doubt. He was partying with his friends, but what wasn't happening was? You know what resulted and that was getting involved with the pills and the oxycodone and it started with this basketball injury that progressed to the point of him going to heaven. What was it that he injured his thumb? I remember being funny cuz she goes his thumb. Yeah this stuff. Yeah, because he said you're not on drugs because just your pink you're right. So listen, um, no he had sent me a picture. I was at work and it was completely dislocated and I actually told him to go to the hospital, you know what she did and and that's that's kind of how it all started. And so for a long time, you know, like, you know, I felt things weren't right. I would talk to him. I would say, you know, are you on drugs? And you know, he'd be very defensive and deny it. No. I'm not, you know stop saying I'm on drugs Ed because Bugs when you when you talk about street drugs and he talking about the opioid that's a big problem too. Because you know one is being prescribed by the doctor was originally and the other ones are buying in the street off a drug dealer. So when you ask you are you doing drugs and I'm not doing drugs that, you know, I'm doing the doctor gave me this but you know these days you have even if you look in your own medicine cabinet, you see what's there you like if I had kids I'd have to get rid of these but I don't have nothing like that in Manolo if you go Dentistry date plus 1 don't lose owner something. I don't last long enough. My kids are you know Kamal? Have you give me some Vicodin man going out and buying a bottle of Maker's Mark? And yeah, but what eventually happened is, you know, they find doctors who will just keep writing them. Yeah descriptions and description was a big problem for a long time. Yeah. It was a huge problem which also leads to the heroin epidemic. My son had a friend is that died of a drug overdose like three years ago. He's like 22 years old. Yeah, I know so many people who lost you know daughters or Sons or you know spouses, you know through this whole journey I met so many people who lost their loved ones because of and they must blame themselves, right? Well, you know, you just kind of look and you know, what could I have done wrong? And you know, like how does this person, you know take a prescribed drug and and they're fine and this person, you know gets addicted to it. You know, I just don't know. I'm not a doctor I can only speak really to you know, what it did to our family what it was like trying to get him help. What was that like Well the first obviously you said he said he was an addictive. Right? Right, but I doing drugs. That's what he said. I got a phone call and it was the end of June of 2005. I believe it was and He called me up and no wasn't 2005. I forget what year it was, but it was the end of June and he said I need help. He said if I don't get to a rehab he says I'm going to be dead in a day and that's really scary. It was very scary. So I immediately, you know started looking up rehabs locally Masa, you know, New York, Connecticut, New Jersey anywhere in the tri-state. Nobody had beds. He said no, but nobody had Jim you're cold calling and said yes, and my son is addicted to opioids. He needs treatment right away. Like we can't help you. Correct. Wow. Nobody had beds. I was able to find a place out in the Hamptons and they said they could take him the next day. So I said fine. He didn't have insurance. He was over the age of 26 at that point. He didn't have insurance. So I paid for it. I gave them my credit card number. I bet ya and they came and I actually went when they came to get him and they picked him up and like a van and they took him for a 30-day and in rehab so that was my first exploit. It means little bit of if you don't mind what did that cost that was $11,800 which you know in the big Spectrum as I've spoken to many people there are places you could spend 40 50 thousand. Three days for the initial 30 days. Well, the first few days are detox and then the rehab and I remember having a conversation with a counselor, you know saying is it better if I sent him to this place because it cost money to have more and he said no. He said it doesn't matter how much money you spend it's all up to them if they want to get clean or not. So whether you're spending 50 Grand a month or going no place an outpatient if That's what they want to do is get clean. Then they'll go clean. It was motivated though. It sounded like well at that point. Yeah, he was and so he went out there and I was able to visit him two weeks later and I went there and I just remember him walking the hall towards me and I just cried like I hadn't even just seen that smile on his face and in over 10 years. He looked great. He felt great. I went through the parent, you know introduction program with them. And so then he came out two weeks later and he felt great and he said, you know, I'm never going back. I'm never doing this and you know and I felt oh my God, I finally got my son back. So that lasted maybe two or three months and then began the cycle and I began to learn that relapse is part of recovery. And so over the next two years. He was in and out of seven different rehabs and I again came to find out how difficult it is, you know to get a bed as I met so many parents or spouses can call ahead and say listen, my son is probably going to be putting in this place because you make a reservation for three months from now. No, it just doesn't work that way and you know there and there were times where they would have beds but they're being held for people who have been arrested and are in jail safer drugs. So those beds are held for them. So this like a whole, you know, Asset goes on there. So he went in and out of a couple of different places, you know, does he initial hit of $11,000? This is you know, it's like in the whole world if you get them back and everything's fine and hunky-dory after that and you got your son back. That's nothing but you talk about seven times now it's adding up well, so what happened was once he got into the first place I had laid out the money. So now he's on eligible when he gets out for Medicaid. Medicaid Medicare Medicare, I'm sorry, so he's eligible for Medicare. So I'm looking up now to see like what he's entitled to being on Medicare now and it's like a huge document and I wind up on a page of reimbursements. So I just started reading about reimbursements. Well, I come to find out I come to find out that when you go into a rehab facility if you have no insurance and you eventually go on me Cade what happens is for the three months prior to going there they will reimburse you for anything that Medicaid would have paid for if you had insurance so they are I start the Journey of trying to get my money back and that took about 16 to 18 months of going into Brooklyn standing on line not playing the role, you know. Trying to get reimbursement being jerked around is an understatement being sent from that location to one in Queens to go to Nassau County this and that try to exhaust you. So, you know, well, you know, that's the bottom line. I don't know how people who so desperately need this help navigate the system. So I wind up going to court using the your money was being held back maybe because you're white lady and you had a job before your money back. I don't know why it was Particularly being held back. I almost tend to think that people just give up. It's just so difficult to navigate. So I wind up going to a hearing with a an attorney and a Advocate and I'm talking to them and and they're asked me well, why should you get your money back? And I had everything photocopied and highlighted on this page it states this and then the attorney would say, well that's not true. And I was like well and I pull out another page well on On this page. It says I'm entitled to it and she said let me see that and I've got thick you like your the attorney. How do you not even know this? So anyway, but we never got that far I go through the whole process and I get a letter back and they basically denied me because the what they call the CPT codes. Those are the medical cause every time you go to the doctor and you get the bill, it has like some four or five but they'll cover what encode what coded as right because the CPT codes weren't right but in Hearing they said that that attorney was supposed to find out although CPT codes. So I wrote them back and basically said, you know based on the letter. I got it wasn't my responsibility to find out the CPT codes. So long story short. I got back 11,000 of my original money you exhausted them, you know, but you want to know something and they exhausted you it was exhausting but needless to say so now he's eligible for Medicaid. So that's what picked it up Yale for these other visits so, you know fast Forward we go through a different number of places and he's in another place in the Hamptons now for a month. And by the way, I want to say this but somebody is a heroin addict a 30-day rehab is like pulling putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. It really really is. How long do you think it's not that you know about this? How long is an appropriate time for heroin addiction? I think it depends on the person. I think it depends on their motivation. I think it depends on the family and friends support. Well her and it depends it mostly depends on the addict and so is in the blood so I'm talking about like it actually a blood complete blood transfusion where this this drug is out of your system completely right obviously takes more than a month forget about your mental state and where you want to be. This is heroines different because it's calling it's pulling you it's in your system. It's like you're very psychological. Thank you. Like you're a vampire, you know blood they need heroin, right? So So to me a year would probably be great because you have to not only do you have to get them completely off of it, but now you have to get them back into a lifestyle where they feel like, they're actually contributing to something which is laying around kicking dirt waiting for the to start doing drugs again. So it's ours. Is he still living with you at this point? But what was he still living with you at this point A lot of times he was actually living with my mother my mother took him in a lot, you know. As I went through this process, I joined an Al-Anon Group, which is like for the friends and families and that was a big deal for me to even take that step because I was thinking I don't want to go any place close. I'm embarrassed. I don't want to run into anybody. I know so I found a place on Long Island, but was quite a distance from you know, where I had grown up and where my son had grown up and I went in there and I went there religiously for quite some time and that Kind of really put me in a place where and I say this let go let God where I had to let it go because my as my husband would say if Danny's okay Loretta's okay, if Danny's not okay. Loretta is not okay because it consumes your life, you know, and it's someone else's addiction correct, but it affects everybody. Yeah, and so I went there and I met some wonderful people there and you know, I Took a lot in and they are so divided like some people will not take their attics into their house other people will not put them on the street. It's a personal decision on what you want was your sleep was your son stealing was he at that point was he stealing the key? I'll tell you this. There are certain things that I don't know. There's certain things. I don't want to know he never stole from us. So he did have money though. He went through everything he ever had and he was working. Ying, you know through through the addiction yeah, except at the very end when it got really bad so he would go in and out of these what type of heroin is he doing is shooting up or is he snorting or is he doing the oxycodone the know he he wasn't doing pills anymore. He would have a gut it somebody would pull up in front of my mother's house. And you know, he would go outside and he be gone for a few minutes. He come back I Never found a needle in my house, but I know that he was doing heroin. He told me he was doing heroin so It's like I said, there's certain things that you know, it's hard to ask. I just don't even want to know. I mean, I know a real lot, but it was most important for me to really never give up hope and try and get him the help that he needed. And so what happened was he's in another place out in the Hamptons for a month and it was in December. He was scheduled to get out like January 1st or whatever and there was a three-month program at a place called st. Pete's which is up in Syracuse. A clique and I just happened to call up and they had a bed like right at the same day. He was getting released from the Hamptons. So anyway, we coordinated it. I drove from Long Island you okay with that? Yeah, he's getting out after month and he's going and he's okay with going right up because he knew we needed that extra help correct. So I picked them up. I drove them six hours up to Saranac Lake in February and January. So, you know, it's 20 degrees. Hello up there and it was a beautiful old. It reminded me of the mansion in The Shining really nice backdrop in the mountains. It was a fabulous looking place. I I walked them in the place and they said you have to go now. Like I immediately had to put it in what you there. No. And then I drove what is that? What what do you feel? They they just want to cut the ties they 117th do it like codependency. You know, like maybe having the mother there you rely on you. No, no. No, they just take them and they put him through that program. So he was there and he actually left the role. He left after about two and a half months and he got out. And is that okay that he said it was his choice. It wasn't my choice, but it was his and is it man? Yeah, so he left and he went and he lived in a homeless shelter out in Freeport Long Island. It's got to be something and That's right. He's at rock-bottom. You think that's that was his defined and that's what he told me was his defining moment when he lived in a homeless shelter and and I remember him saying mom, I wasn't raised this way and he turned his life around at that point. And the other thing that he said was one of the best things that happened for him was when I went to the Al-Anon meetings because I really understood. I really let go. And let God and and he said that was a big factor to he said he saw the change in me because I was no longer enabling him. I was that's important right enable, you know, as you say this, I can't I probably can't think of anyone. I know that doesn't have someone in their family that has this whether it's alcohol drugs, you know prescription drugs heroin everyone in their family has someone in their family that they do They do and sometimes people have more than one piece. Yeah, they're family. So that's that's really you know, how I started getting involved with this. My son has been drug-free now over five years. That's great. He's a happy healthy and helping others back working. Yeah. So what he did was he actually went out to California where my daughter lives and he had met at my daughter's wedding the rabbi that married my daughter and my son-in-law was a former heroin addict and owned or had to rehab places out there. So he went to work there and he finally was a director of a program in Santa Monica literally right on the beach like must be picked up a nice place to get sober. Yeah. Well, he was working. He was sober at the time. He was living out in California, and he was directing the director of Rehab program there and helped a lot of people and met a lot of people. So while he was there, he would give my phone number to parents like who sent there because it was not cheap and you okay with that? Yeah. Yeah, they would call and she'll talk to me and you know, I'd have moms who would say, you know, there's nobody in my town who has this problem. I'd be like they probably do you just probably nobody? Yeah, and I was a big advocate for Al-Anon, you know, I think it's so illiterates, Loretta. It's so interesting that you learned that you were an enabler, which we probably all are you know, because this is your son you love them and you can do whatever you can from, but you're not helping them right when you enable some right and not that I was giving him money and stuff. But you know, even when they, you know, given them places to live like they have to get out and get on there and get out. So yeah will still destroy you too and the family relationships my son and daughter didn't talk to each other. My daughter was upset at me because she felt that He was destroying my life and it's just a vicious cycle. My mom would always take him and she would never say no grandma. He was very good to my mother. My mother was very good. They still to this day have a great relationship. So, you know, so going through all the Peaks and valleys of it, you know to be in the place. I am today. I would have thought he'd been dead and buried a long time ago and I'm very grateful guy, you know things have worked out this way, but you know, you take one day at a time to and just you know, hope for the best all the time. Well, that's some Journey here. Yeah. Yeah, especially since you know, you were a cop sure captain on the police department. So we're you know, the average, you know parent is working then they you know, they're not seeing this kind of stuff tonight around it all the time and then when it happens to you and your a copy like I denied that see this, how can I not detect it at how did I not know this was going on underneath my roof? Well, the irony is we talked about this before is you know here I am, you know, like on the Lower East Side going in and out of these shooting galleries about you know, I'm like 23 24 25 years old. I'm young. You know, you see all these Junkies, you know laid out on some disgusting mattress, you know, you know with a needle sticking out of their own whatever is going on and you know, you just you know, it's just fun like you're not even thinking about that person right? There has a mother or father grandmother. We have to put those barriers those to say to you know, you could go to an apartment C to people's brains all over the floor and you just go about your business like it. So that's a little bit different though. I mean if you do know but then you see your own kit cut and you're like, oh my God. Yeah, but also to with the drug addiction when you're out there and you're a Narcotics officer, you do develop that defense mechanism, but also to the way you treat them after the fact, you know, there's a lot of bullshit crimes you want to be, you know, a turnstile think it's good, you know, or Or you know shoplifting or anything else like that. You know what I'm saying? You looking at them like they're not even human this subhuman. We have a bunch of different words that we use for them on the police department to scalp. Mope. Mope. You know, Stella is a big one. But you know, and now you're talking to somebody who realizes now. Wow, that person has a mother somewhere maybe that's still alive or dad or brother or sister or grandmother. Yeah, so it's interesting. You know, it's like I get choked up. Going about this is like well believe me. There's plenty of people that I work with in the police department and many other places that have struggled with this in a big big way because everybody has that in their family and everyone said everybody does my brother died of a drug overdose. Yeah prescription drugs too. And I don't know if whether it was accidental or accidentally on purpose, you know, but he was and then he had been sober for years from drinking because that was His number one problem and then he started taking prescription drugs. And as I said, I don't know if he did it on purpose or if he just know what is it about and allanon that helped you so much as a parent like well, what was it that they were telling you and that really like okay it helped a relationship because you had to back away a little bit. How do they prove that to you? Yeah, so so the program was narrow and like I said, it's for families and friends. You know, it's just a place to sit and and hear people's stories and you know how they dealt with certain situations and you know, just kind of have a dialogue and like I said, it's not the force anybody to have any one particular way to go about it. But you know just take what you know, you feel would work for you there were people who would be going to these meetings for like 25 30 years. There are people who have been going to these meetings. They are loved ones have been deceased for a long time. You know, they talk about the Serenity Prayer, you know, when they're that when you're at these meetings, there are certain. What is this what's issue in a crash? It's a prayer that they say, you know every day. It's a spiritual type of prayer, you know, just very motivational and inspirational. So like the AA thing the 12-step things for me. Well, it's kind of based on that. Yeah as well and they bring in guest speakers sometimes like people like there was one woman, for example Her daughter came in who has recovered and spoke about her journey and it's really good to see the people in the group who at this a success story where you can hear, you know, what will people get healed what advice could you give to parents that have an Intuition or maybe in an idea that their son or their daughter might be on drugs or their son or daughters friends might be on drugs. Like if there was one bit of advice that you can give not only with your you know, the Happy with law enforcement. But also the parent of a child that was addicted to drugs. Well, I would say the first thing to do is to speak to them very early on you know, before this could even potentially be a problem. You know, once you start suspecting something and you feel it in your gut, it's probably been happening for longer than you. Did. You ignore it for a long time. I was in denial, I would say so you ignore the obvious signs when I did speak to him. I was very defensive very argumentative. You know, I don't you know, I'm just tired or whatever. It's excuse wise and I'm not making that as an excuse for myself, but it's really hard to wrap your head around when it's your own kid. Yeah. Sure. It really really is sometimes we all choose the path of least resistance to yeah. Yeah, you know, like hopefully this will just go away the face but you know, I didn't even know that he was doing heroin, you know at that point. So like I said, you know the path I took lead led me to where I am today. And I'm glad I stayed the course like was angry as my son would get with me. I never backed off that's foremost by the way the grease book, I never have a producer. She's putting ideas or questions out there. And so sometimes the guests and they feel like they have to answer that's for us. You just you know, just tell us who you are. Telling us. Yeah about that. Yeah. I just I just refuse to give up hope you know the again. I mean it's a child for crying out loud or as much as like, I really do never know if he would if he would make it. You just can't give up and but it's tough to see no like Bill brought up earlier about the living Arrangement. And you said at some point your son would stay with your mother. Yeah his grandmother. So there must have been a point where you told them. Don't bring this in the House, don't come here. Y'all what? I think what I did was I sold my house, so we didn't have a place to live and I sold my house and I moved and was that a conscious decision because of that you didn't want to have his room and it was a large part of it. Wow, that's interesting. You know, really and what'd you do just get yourself a one-bedroom apartment? Yeah, and so You know when you have kids and they have little and you go in and see them in the cribs and you just watch and see if their chest Rises. Yeah, we think well, imagine doing that for like twenty five-year-old, you know your kid see him sprawled out on bed and just staring at them. Just wanting to see like their shirt or something, you know to see if they were breathing or not. That's scary. But the addiction destroys the parents almost as bad as it does. Yeah addicted person. Yeah. Well, you know, it certainly can destroy a relationship. That's for sure. That's why that Ana Allen on was so important that you did not already know smart. Yeah, you know we had no no, it's called Narco narcotics. And yes the we had dr. Watch school here who's an expert on police suicide and stuff. And we you know, some of the things we talk about is cops we and I just question I thought from me but saying it was the greatest question, but for me it was good. I said is it ever? Okay like to drink? Thank you know it's mentally and he goes, yeah, absolutely. He goes as long as it doesn't get crazy because you know because we as cops sometimes after a really horrendous situation, you want to go out and talk about it and just have a few cocktails and I'm saying do a four to four but just even when we make a big arrest of some we almost want to celebrate it, you know what I mean? And that's like a positive thing, you know, and you know what it does deal with alcohol so it could it could get out of control but he was you know as PhD was like, oh no, it's fine to drink as long as you don't go over. Well just as long as we got the okay from the West Cologne that doctor Wasco. I'm gonna go out and throw stuff. So don't so don't ever call me again. I got even less Angels often to visit your son. Well, he's he lives back in New York. Oh, okay. That's great. But yeah, well I go to Los Angeles. As my daughter lives out there. That was he still working as a counselor. No, no, you know he did that for two or three years and he just didn't like the whole L AC and is Fun Sun Shines most the time and we back so no he came back here and actually went into managing a restaurant ironically tough one as an addict to do that. Ironically the man who owned the restaurant. He owns a couple All of them in this one have to be in Times Square. His son was one of my son's clients out in LA and so he got to have a good relationship with my son and he offered him a job. And so he's kind of back in that restaurant because I mean being around alcohol is yeah, but you know what alcohol was never his real thing. He wasn't really a big drinker and I'm addicted Cabernet Cabernet we could cabernet from Napa Valley. I like that. Yeah. So yeah, so, you know he's doing that and that's great, you know doing living life travels a lot. You know, he wants to have some experiences. He travels all over the world pretty much great. Yeah, he takes off and goes on. He still goes to meetings. He's still young. I don't think that's something that ever ends. Right? No and and they're good. They're good for him and he talks to me about them. And you know, he tells me you know, what makes him feel good. You know, we have the best relationship that we've ever had. We have a really great relationship now very open very honest, you know, I know it's drugs but especially with heroin and what it does to you you mentioned earlier about how it goes through your veins and does it something to your brain and that's why it takes so long to get out of your system, but it's almost like an illness in a way like you wouldn't wish cancer on anybody right? But you also wouldn't wish a drug addiction like her. Either because it's going to take probably the chances of you surviving it or probably the same to and the amount of the time things to get better and what you have to go through. Well, you know, I learned more about addiction and heroin that I ever thought in my life I would know. They when they detox it takes them about three or four days to detox that that heroines out of their system. It's all in the psyche and it's the psyche part. That's so overwhelming and just has a grasp on them. And you know, I've seen shows and other parents talk and you'll have they lost their kids and how they would doing well, but something triggers them and you know, they talk about people places and things those are the things that will trigger to go back. How do you have like an addict and I forget whose some actor's name? He didn't do heroin for like 10 years. He bought some on the Lower East Side died Hoffman. Seymour Hoffman boobs look great. So so here's the guy, you know, what happened there? And the reality is most of them. No, you can't use the same amount that you used to last time and so easy to overdose. Yeah, but I think he was already, you know, he was clean for a while. Like you said ten years, but I don't think that was the first of all look great body laying already laying those been sober for like 10 months. I think yeah, I think cocaine was his drug of choice with both of them is a great guy and there's so many addicts out there who are one of the wonderful people and we wish him nothing but the best and if you're out there and you're involved in law enforcement think about that before he just, you know, ready to kick somebody to curb that you know that somebody to son daughter may be the captain of the police department man because nobody is Of it, nobody's above it. And especially when these drugs that some of the people are doing are prescribed initially by doctors, you know what I'm saying? And that's where you know, somebody who's never done drugs before next thing, you know, they're shooting heroin because something that the doctor gave him they were there basically pushing it on the market. Yeah, and the thing too is like I like we talked about earlier. Is getting the treatment and getting the help they are people like I met a lot of people whose whose kids were in different treatment centers and they were under the age of 26. It was still under their insurance parent's insurance and their insurance may only approve them for a week. Stay like that's like nothing but lights nothing that's it's like nothing. That's why when you go on the police department, they say always get the high option writer in case you have to go to the phone. Yeah. Yeah, but so you know what cycle for Recovery is doing like I said earlier, they're looking to provide grants and funds for those who really desperately want to get help who may not have the funds. So part of the board's responsibility is to get those applicants to review them to see what the needs are. You know, what specific location might be good for that person, you know and to monitor them. So I would encourage especially our law enforcement Community if you've got a family member or A friend a spouse who's struggling and you need the support the websites w-w-w dot cycle for recovery.org. So I guess cycl you right? Yeah for recovery and you got going is like bike rides and stuff like that you go on long trips. Well voted to raise money for the food with soul cycle right now. I used to take spend till I got my new hip. I haven't been back since salsa. Yeah. So what they do is to of class its price. Whom is 30 40 bucks one for one class? Yeah. Well, they'll donate all that money for the specific day. He got to get the Peloton at home. Don't buy it for your wife though her by yourself. So, you know as a parent some of the things obviously to look for is you know, changing Behavior change of friends, you know, you hear about this all the time, but yet when it happens to you, you know, you just really kind of not looking friends, you know. if they lose their jobs, if they have a bank account that they've gone through, you know, maybe you're noticing like if you see the any of if they have credit card bills, you know, their credit cards are running out but you know things that your daughter know about this before, you know, no and that's another thing is, you know, all my son's friends they all grew up together through pretty close-knit Community called place here and only One of them is name is Joe reached out to me and said we need to do an intervention with that. That's a good friend. Let me tell you something and all those friends. Nobody ever said anything to they knew it right course they did. It's like the cop that seizes Partners out of control and never goes to a boss and says look this guy needs help. Right and then he commits suicide and he says, oh I saw all these signs and why didn't you tell anybody you know, so how many of those kids are also maybe not As addicted to Son but on the way when it with your son doing it themselves, you know have their own problems, you know also the rat and thing out like, you know, people don't want to be rats at telling on somebody's mother, you know, how to talk with him long conversations how many of them who are he's still really tight with because you also alienate yourself the the more you get involved in these drugs the more you kind of sort of stay to yourself. Maybe a lot of those friends didn't see what reaching. Oh, how come you can come here coming. And I don't feel good, you know, so they don't see the real addiction. You know, I bet you a lot of them know though and the hard part is is when they do come out of rehab, you know, the friends are want to be supportive to but you know, they don't always respect their sobriety or whatever. They don't understand. You cannot do that kind of stuff true. Yeah everyone already. So speaking of body language. The first time I saw him come out of a rehab wasn't was it his First time in rehab the first time I have to be around them knowing that he came out of rehab not too long ago and I was over I knew his drink of choice was just my drink of choice and we were both at the comedy club. And I remember I recall having a drink in my hand and now I regret that so much because I'm thinking to myself because I've seen a picture since then since his last rehab and somebody took a picture of me holding a beer and it's like almost like you want to take all that stuff away. Take it away. Take it away guys doing good man. Don't don't give him any any thought don't make Look like it's fun because you know, when you see your out and you seeing other people having fun when they drinking all of a sudden I can have one drink but we all know what the okay. No, you can't do that. So yeah, so that's wow man. What a story man. It's really happy that you came in here. And the first half was great. But this have I think we learned we learned a lot about this addiction and how we could hit anybody no matter what you do for a living even if you're involved in law enforcement. Even if you're a captain on the NYPD, you know, the other thing too is there's so much and I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. There's so much shame and embarrassment that you know, the only people who really know where my family like I was going to work and functioning fine, right and I remember one day or executive assistant Kathy wonderful lady. She walked into my office and I don't know what came over me, but she looked at me. She's like what's wrong and I just blurted it. Out I said my son's a heroin addict well, and it's the first time I was able to talk to somebody and just spill my guts about it and she was so helpful to me and support she wind up having someone in her family to that was no no. No, but you know, she's just she's just a great she was great friend, but there was so much embarrassment and you know, what you brought up, you know, it's about somebody who has cancer and I've had this conversation with people to you know, if your kid has cancer or or they get some other disease, you know, everybody's great and they raised money and I donate a lot of money and I'm sure everybody else does too certain causes, you know, when somebody's kid, you know is an addict. Yeah. It's not the kind of thing like different problem is a different problem and there's not a lot of you know funds and fundraising to get them help and this and that and you know, I'm not suggesting people should stop everything they're doing for this but it is a reality and that's why it's so I think Eric Clapton has that cool. Called Crossroads and he has a rehab on one of the Caribbean islands. Yeah, because he was a heroin addict. Yeah years ago. Yeah. It's not an isolated problem many many families go through it. I would like you said earlier most families have somebody with some sort of addiction in there. The way they snuck it into our that's a conspiracy theory that the crap crack epidemic was started by the government, you know for whatever reason to kill off black people kill every incentive destroy the culture whatever but then there's also another theory that the the prescription drugs were put into thick two theories. I've heard one of them is because the combat the marijuana that's coming. They wanted to beat beat out of marijuana. So, you know what I'm Things that we don't lose to get people hooked on these drugs instead of doing marijuana that's assumed to be legal and also that it was flooded to kill white people. You know, that's a theory that's out there some particular us, but they because the the opioid epidemic is mostly struck why people, you know and where you had so much help for right now. We we got to we got to counter this this opioid addiction because we're losing a lot of white people. There's a lot of people who are hooked on crack for years and years and years and it was no government assistance coming from they would just crack heads. Well when you went to prison they there was that's the only way they got rehab right? I had guys out on the street would say officer, please could you get me in a rehab it like dude, I can't help you and then they get locked up they get right in. Yeah, you know, yeah. Well, that's what you talking about before the beds when you when they saving beds for people who aren't even there yet. But just somebody who copped a plea instead of doing the amount of time that they were supposed to Initially if they become part of this program, then they'll cut their time and the cut their time and then go to rehab which actually helps in a way to it because they have a drug problem. They're not they probably wouldn't be criminals if they weren't addicted to this drug. Yeah. It's just a vicious cycle knowing what you know about now about this now, would you do you think big Pharma had something to do with this? Like what I mentioned earlier do you think are you a conspiracy theorist? Do you think the these drugs were flooded? By big Pharma to either you know, well this certainly news stories out there which would support that, you know, depending what you read. I mean when you read about things that went on in places like West Virginia and the incredible amounts of you know, oxycodone and pills that went through such small communities like yeah, why did that happen? And I read this book called hillbilly, elegy by JD Vance. It was actually really good book and he You grew up over in that area and talked about, you know, the addiction problems there and with all the drugs flooding in as he grew up and you know, you know, like why and how did that happen? Obviously, they were making a lot of money, you know, I've seen news reports or read things, you know where they are information where they knew how addicted these drugs were and they just didn't do anything about it. It so now, you know, it's had a why would they what would they want to dictate a whole like Community saying West Virginia? Well, the drugs are were coming through there like like into a form of see like just ridiculous amount. They had more way more pills in there were people that even if every if you take if you gave a thousand pills to every single person that lived in that town, you know still be 10 million more pills coming through the town it was Like a hub to distribute either Eagle Eagle Eagle throughout the country, but that's where they were going first. For some reason a lot of it has I watched the same thing that you watched it's disgusting. But since we have you now and you were a parent with a child with an addiction and you've been through the thing the whole thing we mentioned now and I keep saying it wrong no none and you also talked about what to look out for and how did you heal yourself? What did you have to go? Go through to while all this was going on. How did you stay mentally stable? Because that's important just to like yeah. Yeah, you have to take care of yourself for sure. I just had to learn to let it I had to learn that I could not control what his decisions were going to be I could not continue to clean up his messes. It's his life. He was the only one who could make himself clean. Is nothing in the world I could have done to make him stop using drugs no amount of begging and crying and you know, don't do it would have would have worked and it took a long time it took a long time to get there and I'm there now and he knows it. He knows if something ever happens, you know who to call, you know, where to go and you know what you have to do. I'm I'm It destroys destroys families. It destroys my mother's father's you know, and because you give anything to your kid is destroying you. I've met people who have gone through hundreds of thousands of dollars to their lifetime save 401 K's to get their kids help, you know, and it's unbelievable what people have done and naturally the other kids in the family, you know are talking to the parents and the pissed. Yeah right now. Why are you spending squeaky wheel gets the grease as they say right or you can see you can tell them is you know, what have your own kids and then come back and talk to me because that's what it's about. Once you have kids, you know, you'll do anything whatever you can do and you should understand the resentment when part of that sacrifice is being able to say no and doing all the other steps you everything that you said, it's just remarkable of how strong you are because you know, it made it through the captain and the NYPD then you had this wonderful job. Wouldn't tell us how much money you make but we know that you were very happy if you she didn't very happy with the job. She didn't touch the thing about the animals on the plane either. She didn't really want to talk about that too much. She won't say anything bad about JetBlue like it was like a knock it was like you had to bring two animals and on top of all that to have the strength to be there for your son and the fact that he know he came out of and he's doing okay now and we all know that word Addiction. It's every day counts every day is a brand new day. So we wish him all the best. And you know, if you're a parent out there, you know heed this advice. We're going to put up some stuff at the end of the at the end of the episodes the way we've been doing some some contact information and Bill and I are also building up the website. We got to talk about that what we're going to have a page or to their dedicated to all the people all the different services that you can go to reference. If you have a child who is Autistic or suffering from addiction and all these different things that Could go wrong in human life, you know, we're going to have stuff like that that you can Resource page that you can go to but Bill anything else. No, I mean I worked with Loretta. She was a great captain and expect anything less from her today. This was a great episode. She we appreciate your journey and that you still want to help people. That's great. Yeah. Yeah for sure anything I can do we're going to we're going to need that cycle for the thing there so we can we can add that to the tourist shot cycle for a dick. In the dog is a shot on the way out. We want to we want to add that web cycle for Recovery like psycho. Okay. Okay, and yeah, I'll try and get you the dates of the cities and where it's going on. If you like bike riding absolutely, I'm Reed exercise ice. I'll donate I'm not a big bike rider. I fall off a lot. Thank you so much for coming in the red. It was a pleasure and an honor and we should have best of luck and on behalf of a police off the cuff man. This was a great episode made a very very proud. I love it. Thank you so much. Keep tuning in.
Loretta Kennedy was hired at JetBlue Airways in 2005 as the Manager Investigations. She was subsequently promoted to Security Director where she served until her retirement in 2019. Her responsibilities included oversight of: Corporate internal and external Security Investigations, the 24x7 Command Center, Security Training, Security Compliance, Airport Security Operations and Threat Assessment and Mitigation. Most notably, Loretta was very involved with and led the development of the corporate Workplace Violence Prevention and Active Shooter policy and training as well as incorporating the Department of Homeland Security’s Blue Lightning program where training was conducted to ensure awareness to the crew members on how they can support the efforts to end human trafficking. Loretta was selected to be the airline representative for the Presidents Department of Transportation Advisory Committee on Human Trafficking where she worked with other members of the committee to make recommendations for increased awareness opportunities directed toward the transportation industry. Prior to joining JetBlue, Loretta worked for the New York City Police Department for 25 years where she had varied assignments and supervisory designations over the years to include: Detective in the Organized Crime Control Bureau, Manhattan South Training Sergeant, Lieutenant Personnel Officer, Internal Affairs Bureau, and as a Captain served as the Executive Officer, Public Information Division and subsequently finished her career overseeing investigations in Detective Borough Manhattan. Loretta has a Masters Degree in Public Administration from Marist College and is also a graduate of the FBI National Academy 190th Session. She currently serves as an Advisor for a non-profit, Cycle for Recovery, whose focus is to provide grants to those in need who are dealing with addiction or mental health issues. 