What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. Hey everybody and welcome to the dad and buried podcast 40 first episode, which is probably one of the 41 is a pretty big milestone, right it is we should have done the 40. Once it is for you sir for this is also the only the 40 second time we've hung out together. It's actually we met on a blind date and then we immediately launched a podcast we immediately I the second I met you I was like, I want to apologize. Just want to have this guy's podcast. I see. Okay. I just got cast with you. So tonight we're going to be talking about young parents versus old parents the the rivalries the differences which is better, which is an old old parents or a young pain. I tell you there's a pretty ditch and it is based on the comments. We got there's a pretty definitive answer we all know which one cater we're gonna we have we're gonna get into so this is a topic that has Pete has been wanting to fucking do this one for months and I have been Because I didn't get it. I just didn't see it see and I still I still I still think your premise is faulty. We're going to get into that in a moment. Okay, but if it is the first time joining us, my name is Mike. His name is Pete. I am known as dead and buried online. No one knows him online Heap. I'm known as peed on me email. He pretends he pretends he doesn't like like social media, but in reality, he's scared. No one will like him social media so he hasn't joined it. I just I think it's a toxic cancerous place to be in. Anyway, I have a hundred and fourteen thousand followers. So who's fucking toxic in cancer is now yeah part of the problem I think is when you called me, I actually you're damn right she is doing great. So you can find me on Instagram on my blog at dead and buried.com on Twitter on Facebook. Really. Are you still on face? I am I'm gonna you know what? This is not even a joke you we've made a joke. I'm thinking about joining Tick-Tock. Are you gonna do? You thinking about it you got to do I have some veeam switch our video memes that I've you. Are you gonna like floss like a boss. You mean like the dance move or actually floss. There are some people have and what is because there are some people who have a fetish for like flossing and brushing their teeth fucking weirdos. Okay. I'm now one of us how deep have you gone my so deep right like like into my gums or like down the floss fetish Rabbit Hole obviously down the fuss fetish rabbit rabbit hole not Deep at all. Okay, it's not I am not a literally just Googled flossing your teeth who wonder I Googled turn turned on by flossing got it and then that's it. Yep. And then I was like, I don't I made a mistake. I wish I had it for wish. I had not hit enter it's over but you can find me in all those places. You can also find the data buried podcast on Apple and Spotify and anywhere you listen to podcast you can also find the data better podcasts on the dark web little-known Silk Road Silk Road if you need Contraband that's a little old timey term. Oh silk rotas. It's just regular dark web now, so that's where I buy all my you know Body parts and stuff. Oh, really? 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There's a whole bunch of people somehow that We do give us some money. Oh my God, there's different tiers. You can join depending on how much you want to contribute the single. Dad tears. Just 2 bucks a month Chris Coleman Miriam mspb, and throw us some cash that way take your kids at the door. Check out his Instagram account funny memes em cedeño and Mallory Mackenzie brand-new from down on De gud im an another shrimp on the patreon might get I could die Mallory. That's last time I did a was is everything. Okay Mallory, I did better. Did Michael J fox better? This is heavy Mallory blacksmith. Anyway, so the dad bod tears three bucks a month Barbara Geiger. She's in Germany. You know what because we're fucking International as shit. We are so International morning glow and Jacques Gove are also Berlin in the house subjects. That's two countries. We've named besides the u.s. You know, what's Australia and Germany already and and there's three people that are living in all three of those we got another one coming up another country coming up Father Figure to here's five bucks a month. Aunt juley McCarthy sarge is in New Jersey not a country, but I wish it would secede. I think a lot of us think that tried to make it happen Jennifer Winn and Paula Paul ski up in Canada world's biggest CFL fan. He does not like that title. But guess what you made your bed. Now lie in it. What are you going to say? I was just going to say that well, I was gonna we're way past it now, but Jack over some Jacques is a very French name living bird. Maybe he's a maybe he's French. He's know maybe that counts as two. Entries that's that was your point. That was my point. I'm sorry. I stepped on you know what Paul polsky. He could be friends Living Well, maybe he's in there not real not Toronto people aren't piling. Of course, unless you're saying when you say aboot and about no, no, he's trust me everyone speaks friendship there. That's not sure. It's not true. They don't anyway not required. You're fucking wrong. Definitely you are wrong. Everyone have you been friends from Canada? Yeah, I have been Toronto. Absolutely. I have friend from Calgary who don't speak French. Yeah, because Calgary, of course you said in that speech. They're just different provinces. Goddamn. I hate you world's greatest dad tears 10 bucks a month Mary Williams, and the my new Dad's here $20 a month Sarah / ABC, Mommy and Instagram Desiree kissling. You got to be good. We haven't sung in a while. You gotta be free. We'll be stronger because Nate loves when we think and Monica. No last name. Just Monica. I think it's you know, what she's and Brandi duetted on that The Boy Is Mine song from the 90's you really you got there in the end. I did and now that I finally cracked the Monica joke you did it. I went through Monica Geller. I went through Monica Lewinsky. And then I landed on Monica from The Boy Is Mine. Do you know what just for one second model. Quit Monica Lewinsky's Like super fucking awesome. Yes, she's super. Yes. She's a good writer. Yeah. Can we just give her one? No, no, I think not 20 years old when that shit happened man, but like fucking amazing. No, I'm saying that she overcame a lot of bullshit. Oh my God fucking anyway. You know what give it up for her? Yeah good for Monica Lewinsky. That is Monica. We love child when that shit went down. I know really and now she's a fucking goddamn Legend. She really your being I am not I really respect her. I think that your everything you said is true. I've written some of her things they're very young. I know your fuck. I am yes. I'm sorry. I said I agree with you. All right, look you can support us on patreon. You can support us with ratings. You can support us by subscribing you can support us, you know, just by listening or you can just send me a note and just say hey Mike, you know what sport you can't do that to pee but because he hates people and social media. I have an email address. What is it? Don't worry about it exact something something and I met so tonight. We're going to be talking about young dads versus old dads and the beginning we're going to get into to exactly why the entire premise for this episode makes no sense. It makes all the sense in the goddamn world get into it in a minute. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Wherever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for Dad and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right. So tonight we're talking about old parents versus young parents. Now. This is a topic that icky classic. Obviously. There is a difference between battle older parents and younger parents. Now, my issue is that I have said to you neither of us are old parents or young parents. Okay, and then you came back and you said to me first of all, you're what 42? Yeah, and you have a twelve-year-old. Yes, you had your kid at 30. That's right. To normal, that is the absolute like sweet spot for having kids because you did not have kids when you were young. You were never a young parent and you do not have kids when you were old what determines your classification as being a young or old parent is the age at with the age you are at when you had your kid, right? So everybody you can have a kid when you were 20 and you're a young parent, but just because you have a kid when you're 40 and like if you've had a kid for 10 years. When you're 40, just because you're 40 and 40 is a little bit is older than 20 doesn't mean you're an old parent when I mean first of all, I know you don't see race or color. I do CH and I mean ages H. Yes a look. Like first of all someone who has a kid at 20 and it like if you had had your first kid at 40, I would be like, okay. Well, you're a parent. I was yeah, it was a just gotten engaged likely fuck out of here. What's the word? It doesn't make any sense, you know, it makes all the sense. There's a lot of people who have responded and we talked about how they had kids when they were very young and then there are a bunch of people who are like wait am I old or young by this rationale? Because I had a kid when I was 28 or 30 or whatever that well. It's fucking you're not neither. You're neither. No, you're the fucking normal age to have kids this day and age is like the 28 to 35 34 Sweet Spot. First of all, it is biologically once you're at 35 what like my wife was that's for women. Just correct you but not for but all your kids were yeah exactly two of my kids were born at a quote-unquote risk because my wife was like in like in the 35 Zone and the point is is what more and more what's happening now is we're having kids later which is okay, but then every once in a while you see a 55-year old or so. You're old hold on four year old and you're like who pointed a lie you son of a bitch first you're ruining it for everyone. I'm a bit. So 2.22 thanks for that. Yes, I think because of Science and Health and Longevity. All that stuff is getting easier to have kids when you're older. Hold on. Okay, but we live in the city and it's a lot more likely for us to know people who are older parents. If you live in the suburbs, you ain't got fucking shit else to do you live in the country so many people who Bonded all had young kids there hardly any that had older kids that listen to this because there's not as many people that live in Brooklyn. Okay, we know people who have had older kids because it's more of an urban thing to do. Okay, because you live in your fucking life. He got so many options. So let's get into it, which is what's it what's better to be young and vibrant and play with your kids or to be an old crotchety. I whole thing was money. I hope my reluctance was we don't necessarily have a perspective on it because we are Our old nor young parents. We are just the average age for having kids. That's what I'm saying. Okay, but I would also say that I think that I feel happy to have a 12 year old at 40 sure but you also have a five-year-old. So but I know many many people who have who are 40 and have a two-year-old. Yes answer first fine that counts but you are not one of those people they are an old ostensibly an old parent you are not An old parent because it's when you had your kid, I that determines whether you're an older young parent. Okay. Alright, I wish you can see page and I like how you're explaining the rules. So angrily to me when I clearly understand. So I named the first section, huh with a question mark a soak a walker 90 said I guess I'm considered a young parent had our first one I was 24 and second when I was 26, maybe that's average. I don't have any of the extra energy you referred to though what is energy that's not average. Young that's young if you have kids, I think before 28. Yes. I think it is Young. I would even say the 28 I would hate might be young. Look. I didn't even get married till I was 31. So this is the thing, right? So I would say if you had your kids at third in your 30s you were that's more average. Yes, if there if you're having kids in your Twenties, no matter what it is in your late 20s. Doesn't matter. You're young sure fine. But 28 is 3:30 but most is with Mom. She has a great podcast. You guys should check it out. She says she's a young mom or was a young mom not saying you're old mimosas. She says and I agree. It's it's the age at which you have your kid that makes you a young parent or that's right. That's correct. And then build the mica D. Om E. Ik A says, I mean, it's 32 Young. No, it's not as neither young objectively nor young as a parent. You're right in the fucking sweet spot, but he is glad I would say 30 to She's not young 32 having kids in The Sweet Spot. So why parents so I would say 30 to 35 is probably that's real sweet exactly, which is when you all had your you had every one of your kids was between the age of so, that's fine. 3037. Okay close enough. Yeah, which means you're really not a young or old parent which is my entire point, but that's not true because what happens is the medical science classifies. You're bought at 35. You become a sad. When do we use fucking scientist Arbiter for our discussion? We use good old fashioned liquor and fire. So life is a dad which is life dot as dot dot dad says, how old is Young? I was 25 when my oldest was born. That's young. That is Young, especially if you've had more than one was by then was married and good career all properity a a whole. First of all TAA art. Let's go back to my life. The dead okay, dude, you had a great life and a great career yet career. Everything was great graduations. Yeah, why you listen to our podcast? This is a different podcast. Like everything is awesome. Everything sucks on our podcast shitty shitty podcast. So Tara ta ARR AAA says by New York City standards. I'd be a young parent at 26 but in this military life, I'm old as fuck which again you like if you're like a military wife and you got nothing else going on. At all in your life your life is a fucking successful. I'm just giving just saying like that's just what happens like your husband or your spouse is off fighting Wars and spreading democracy and you're at home. And you know, you got an anchor baby all over everything you ever heard the term anchor baby. Somebody insulted me and one of my memes and said like implied that that my wife gave me anchor babies to try to keep me there like weigh me down there. You have a baby to Anchor your spouse down to force them to stay with you. That's not what the term. That's what they used it as what does the term mean that it is an immigration term, which means that if you come over to the United States and you have a great listen a chain thing the chain Immigration and Naturalization and that's not how this person meant this person meant it as if I my wife didn't have give me kids. I'd be long gone. Yeah. It was I deleted their comment, which I don't normally do or ever Restricted it so restricted. It is just mute. I didn't know just mutes them so they don't realize they've been blocked. Okay, right. Where's the best way to do it passive aggressively they can keep commenting you and they will realize no one else sees it I love it. It's great. It's actually really great. So the other thing I wanted to say is generationally it's different right? So I have a brother who's 10 years older than me and when he's three years older than me, like my parents started having kids that like 23, which back in the day Dustin used to be Used to be the thing. I was born. My mom was like 36 which in the 70s was like exacting I see right, but now it's what do you mean in the 70s is that I see the 70s a lot done this year to have a kid at 36 than it is now. No dude. It's still they still consider. Are you saying in the 70s versus in 2019? It was it was more danger. It was just as dangerous know plenty of people have kids between 36 and 45 now. It's a lot more viable than then I know but the point is is because you know you have Have the amniotic test now that you had to determine what's going on, but it's also you have according to Medical Science. No, dude. It's not like you can like make sure there's no career. No, there's no difference. You just know much easier to carry a baby to term and to make those things into no one shits know all those anything. No problem Annie. The only difference is, you know false, you know, not the only difference nutrition medicine everything. It's in IVF all sorts of stuff. It's easier to have a kid IVF and nutrition of nothing to do with Right, they don't open they're just different from they're just different things that have improved in the field of medical. Yes. I am can make it easier to have a baby when you're older woman can have a baby now congratulations. Amazing doesn't mean that that baby is it doesn't have a massive likelihood of being like having like there are more babies born now two women between the ages of 35 and up and then there were then no fucking shit. That's why we're doing this podcast topics you son of a bitch. I wrote we're gonna fucking invite you for that we get The ratings were having a fucking we're getting a boxing ring. What if we just hug a little bit? I don't want to hug. You you son of a bitch. So LBJ ho also confused. I had J. I had kids at 28 and 32. Is that older young? Is it older young Pete? It's it's young and normal. It's neither. LBJ Holt LBJ Jose. Well, you wanted to know Steve Holt. No, I know I get it. It's Nest least favorite show just watch a rested developed. All right can understand. So we got a lot of people chiming in with the fact that they were young parent. All right, let's get into some of them mrs. Louder. We were 20/21 when my oldest was born than 22 23 when our second was born will be empty nesters. We are 42 43 in theory God fucking we don't get we didn't get to live in our 20s. We were parents. So nobody for wild party. This is it. That's the trade-off. We right now that's 42 and 43 radish activate their when they're our age. They're home free. You know what because I didn't I didn't actually get that when she said it and I when you just said that now now I get it and now I fucking understand the topic of this podcast because it's fucking right. The point is you have people who are older who basically had their kids older or excuse me, younger younger and and and now empty nesters have 42 43 life begins at 40. Yes. It's like having two lives except for us, but hold on his lies are told exactly I'm nowhere near double family. I have a younger kid than you. I know and I'm older than you. It makes me sick K KK W. 27 says, I feel like I'm a younger parent. I had my son at 24. You are a younger parent. He turned seven in November. I wouldn't say I have more energy financially kids are freaking money suckers. So that woman is To the ways I put the premise out there was what are the pros and cons you have more energy. You have more money or less money, but about she says I will say I'm happier. I had my son at 24. I want to be able to enjoy our 50s go on vacations without the fuck trophy in town hoping all of the money we spend on him will go into our vacation fund to live our best lives. Right? So like basically your life starts again when your kid hits 18 or 20 and goes to college provided colleges and universities still exist. Well, first of all, Kkw 27 is obviously going to take all of that college fund and just pour it in just snort it up or nose. Probably. Yeah, no, mommy and daddy - don't worry about it. But Mom I'm hungry and I'm cold will need a Franco says what we were just talking about the two big issues for people are one and a half fun before kids and waiting to be more financially secure which is why you might have kids when you're older me personally. I feel it'll be better for me to travel when I'm 38 with an 18 year old in college and have better income than when I'm in an Tri-level job in my 20s backpacking in my 20s or first class in my 40s The Experience won't change much in kids are a pain no matter what age but look, you know what first of all Juanita Franco is some sort of new philosopher and we did she subscribe to her. Yeah. Listen to this. She's young. She's a young he's or first class in my forties. Same difference won't change much and kids are a pain no matter what age so the point is is why not have older kids who can appreciate it. It and but here's the thing though. Like a lot of this doesn't know one. I guess there are a handful of people in the same people that are like, I've always known what I wanted to do. Like for my career when I was like eight years old. I've always known like I've always envied those people who like had a path and were right about it or whatever right? But like in most situations no one is like I'm having kids at fucking 22 getting it out of the way because life doesn't necessarily work like that. Unless you were like, I'm fucking getting married to the first guy I date and then I'm like Hey, we're having Kids immediately and then in 20 years. We're going to be home free. That's not that's that works. Like you meet who you are when you meet him shut up thirty-year-old without kids. You meet who you meet when you meet him life takes its time. Right? Some people it happens early some people it doesn't whatever like these aren't necessarily decisions that you can make in advance. Unless you're kind of fucking nuts. What a lot of people have kids really young like if you have kids in high school, which is the camp full of people here a lot of times that's an accident, right? That's not something that's planned and then your life I think but I've Works around but I but then they wake up and they're 40 and they're like, okay that worked out okay for me, but when you have a kid in high school, you're probably like yeah, this is not the best situation. It's not that cool. You're right, but that's the I think what we're touching on is life and society and things is Chaya T have changed to the point where you're right people used to be married a lot younger. They used to be happy. I mean they used to get married in college. They used to have kids in college. They used to then Oregon forest and well kind of yeah, obviously generators by force they're obligated to divorce rate is not these milestones at a certain time and now it's more free and easy and you don't actually have to do that exactly sure. But at the same time what we've done like a butterfly flapping its wings is you have a lot of fucking old motherfucking dads out there. running around with the three-year-old and you're like Do that sucks my brother my brother that fucking sucks. My brother is 45. He has one and a half year old already and the second on the way. It's too much. He never wanted to get married. He was always like and I said this in the best man speech that I made for him. Like he never wanted to get married. It was a funny. I'll put the best man speech sounded like leather jackets and stuff. No, but he was very much like a bachelor like having a good time. You know, I would even say like career-wise and stuff like it took him, too. Him to find that and now he's got a really good career and he's also down now he's got no, he's married. He's having kids but like for a long time he was like, this is not what I want right now. I don't think you necessarily regrets any of that because if it's what you want at the time it's not really something easy to regret and he had fun and it all that shit and then but sometimes you get to like 45 and if you haven't done that shit yet, you're like, oh no like that's not his situation. But I know some people where you hit a point of your life where you're like, oh shit, like I wish I had done that. That but with having kids that's tricky because we can't like try to have kids and like have them and then be like oh shit. I wish I hadn't done that. So it's either when we have them early and you're saddled with them and they're hardcore burden no matter what any way you put it there a fucking bird whether you like it or not. Look or you don't have them in your fucking not having them and there are your Mick Jagger you can have them at 60 if you want, but here you can you can sit next to someone on the bus and get them pregnant. Like we know that he's amazing. Yeah, you can peacock anywhere. You see the fucking cock but here's the thing. So I guess I guess what we're saying is if you if you have kids young you don't have a choice, but if you have kids older that was your choice, right? Sure. Yes fine if that's the one that Yahweh to not always like that everybody who has kids young isn't it's right a lot of they make the choice young you have your you you're in a particular situation, but older youyou that's much more by Design so that right saying this sweet spot of 32 your last chance you like. I gotta do it if I want once you're in your 40s, you know, what the fuck you're doing and you need them be I'm in my 40s and I don't know what I'm doing eat them babies in you. I do need some babies in me big fucking knife so bug Sisk bug sys. K says she's 42 or husband is 45 kids are 26 and 22. Oh shit. She had the kid when she was 16. Is that right? Math? No 26. No.16. Yeah. She had a kid when she was 16 who knows where? Was planned or not but she said we raised our kids in our 20s and now we're in our 40s and we're free like they're still together. They had their kids like it's easy to cast judgment on like, oh you had you had fucking sex and get pregnant and then he had to have like a shotgun wedding when you were in high school, but if you're still married like 20 years later guess what? You're unhappy guess you were right? Yeah, right. No, but I think but this is what's interesting is and we've heard it before from other people, which is there go your 20s, right? Yes in trade-off, right? Yeah. Well, I didn't have so what happens when you're fourteen a unique situation to I'm in a unique situation because I had my kids in my early 30s and now I'm going to and I had another kid with my first kid when I was 32 34. My second kid when I was 39. Yeah, which is fairly authorize our old 30s, like really really old 30 now the second one's old 30s, right because the circumstances The second kid later than we maybe we wanted to and now like my 40s through 60s are fucking shredded and destroyed but also I didn't have fun in my 20s. So like my entire life is actually not that great. You got it on both sides. Yes, I gotta crush a so the 20s but a lot of people do say they had the kids young so Bell Paula 6 3 1 2 6 3 1 2 1 1 9. I had my children young. I was glad to have them young and Get it out of the way get those kids out of the way. Well, that's what a lot of these people say like, they want to be able to travel and they want to have that longer second act of their lives or they want more financial security. So Chrissy Hildebrand Chrissy underscore Hildebrand seven seven seven had her first kid at 23 and was glad she did because her friends had their kids at the same time. So she had the support system which a lot of times when you're an older parent you don't get that. Well, I was going to say that's not true one of the things that we experience. Is be one of the first in our friend group to have kids was none of our friends were like people are like, oh, yeah, just bring the baby you like, you know, you don't you know how this works. Yeah, baby to a fucking rally, you know anymore Ray. Yeah like a rave. I said rally a rally for like Elizabeth Warren. Yeah, Bernie Sanders, that's exactly exactly Ava Duke. I mean, you know, I don't know some of your friends. I don't know man. I know novel we you know, I have really really shitty group of friends. So we don't know that's true Ally and family says she had her first at 23 in her second at 26. The cons are it was hard not being financially ready for a kid, but it pushed them harder to get the things they wanted. So by the time the second came around they were ready. So three years later. They fucking they knew it got everything. They wanted it. Forget it out. What an American success why they bought the DVD of the secret the pros the pros are yet, they did and they made a fucking vision board and they nailed it. The pros are I won't be My mid 30s early 40s still dealing with baby stuff. That is a pro God. Damn it. That's a I'm 43 and still dealing with diapers Anna Liam Martin. My step daughter was born when I was seven. Does that make you an old dad? Well, no, my second kid who I had when I was 39 side man said old question would make me an answer but God first kid was at 34 stores already dad. So all that matters is the first That's the precedent. You're a son of a bitch. So Anna Lee Martin said she feels like young they feel like they're young parents will be in her thirties when her first to graduate high school unreal. Well, one of them is a stepdaughter. So it's a little bit it's all. She's obviously going for hot mom syndrome. Well, yeah. Well, I haven't seen a photo. That's Anna Liam are not feel free to send the photo. We get it we can confirm the hot mom part so Mommy owl says she had her first when she was 26. He's ten now in the biggest issue was the Super judgment assessed by parents that were older most parents had their youngest that was the same age as her oldest. So she felt super judged all the time. So she had a couple of kids but her oldest was yeah, I'm confused by that to oldest. Let's do the math on this shit most of the time and most parents. Well youngest was my oldest so of so, we felt super judge. Look honestly, here's the deal very the reason that you felt super judges because you're wearing Confederate t-shirts all time. Well, the you know what? You deserved it. Mommy Mel why you need a beer hit me you so test their teenage just says young parent and love it Rara re ve says I was 23 so I missed out on my twenties, but will be empty nesters by her early. He's Mister in your twenties. Guess what? You didn't miss that much. Wow, Nate 30 is a late 20s late 20s is good, though. Mrs. Bossy pants young and I'm so happy. I did young enough to enjoy my grandbaby for a long time. Well, that's another thing. So this is it I think about this a little bit but not if your kids are old parents. So if you have so if you're 40 when your kids are 25 or 20, right and then you're 50 and your kid like your thinking your kids going to have a kid so that you're going to have 30 years of being a grandparent or whatever. But if your kid doesn't if your kid decides hey, I'm not having my kids till I'm fucking 60. Guess what guess what 20 fucking 40 I can have kids whenever I want and the Earth is a big red-hot be exact called one big volcano. So you fucking played yourself. You stupid kid. So 0 At Cirque says I'm a young parent in a small town felt judged for years because of my age does I don't know how young I don't know how young right? It's weird. What is this? Like an old town having will take the exactly the town in Footloose. So a lot of judgment in the town of Footloose singing so it's saline which is is a lii. Any underscore says they have their first order at 25 second at 28 the cons. We're broke. Our friends don't have babies the pros. I will laugh. Like a maniac at my friends with babies in their 40s and my girls will be teenagers. Oh wait. She's like shit I have to say this is the most wonderful part about having kids. There's not that many people though. Hold it over your kit over your friend. How many people how many people how many people are young parents who had kids in there like early 20s who are friends with people who are having kids in their 40s. So here's what happens. So this is happening with us. So my oldest daughter is I think this is the point that Mama Mal my mouth was trying to bound bound to come out. My oldest daughter is the youngest kid our friends with the youngest kid of couples that are in their 50s. I think what she meant was her youngest kid. I'm just I don't know. I'm just saying that there's nothing that is a real Confederate flags. She was saying other people's oldest kids were her youngest. Kid, so she has like a 12 year old and a 5 year old and other people there their oldest kid was a five-year-old. Okay. Yeah, right. All right, and she also has a 12 year old so she said no one has one kid who's in fifth grade and one kid who's in like second grade and by their real says one kid isn't a greater one is and by the way, can I just say if you have like multiple kids or you know 3 at this point condolences and your friend and you start getting a friend group around your youngest you like dude, I don't have time to be your friend. Yeah, it was like I got all So as someone said, hey, we should arrange playdates like yo, we don't have any fucking so that happen to us. Right? So my wife when we have in our first kid in and in Brooklyn in Park Slope, they're a bunch of like Mommy groups. You could join basically based on the month or season that your kid is going to be born. Right? So she met a whole bunch of moms and became friends with a few of them and then I had to meet their husbands and then it all got whittled down to find out if we're actually going to be finally become a friend Steve Wareham and we're friends with one of those couples remaining whatever. Have they moved away but right so she had that big support system and Community around these people were having their kids was all their first kids. And then we took a little bit longer to have our second kid, then other people right and all of a sudden it's a little bit harder to like those mommy groups. If you're having another kid, most of those mommy groups are like the people who had their second kids have already had it, right? So all these mommy groups that were having kids again. We're all first-time mom. He's the much younger and it just the community wasn't quite there. It was harder you have another kid you got to take care of and you can't make these connections. All these moms as much you don't have as much free time and you're older than all of them. Yeah, all that shit. So this the community wasn't as built out. So yeah, and so that's that's what that's an interesting kind of Paradigm when it will call them like link kids, you know, where your youngest or your oldest kind of connects you to a different generation and you're kind of you but you're really stuck in one of them right like one of them is your primary like The group that you met with the first kid, or maybe you have stronger friends with the younger kid so knows exactly you can't live in both worlds of what I'm saying. They won't let you they won't let you and as much as you try the job just won't let you and the job is the thing. That's so funny. We can segue right into this or bunch of people responded and said they felt they were both a young parent and an old parent. So 33 kef 33 says I had kids six years apart. Yes. Same dad Whoa We would end up with nobody made any assumptions. Recap 33 Okay, but my kids are five and a half years apart are almost six five and nine months, but three different. Yes three different - she said she felt like a young mom on the first go-round an older mom with a second which is exactly the situation mom and buried and I were in Casey her L says she's in the middle meaning that she had kids that kind of the normal 30s age, but her parents had her late and they'll be near 90 when her kids are 18. That's my exact situation. That's literally my exact situation where like I grew up and my my grandfather died in his late 80s when I was just graduated college, right? So I had a you know, good 20 years getting to know my grandfather. My parents are just hitting 80 and my kid is my youngest kid is three right? So like Who knows how much longer my parents are gonna be around but the odds are they're like couple of days or something. Yeah, I'm just saying like my three-year-old is not gonna have as much time because we had our kids we had him when we were 40, right and my and I was the youngest I was the last kid my parents had which made them a little bit older already which is weird because your parents constantly pleaded with you to have kids. They did constantly there was set me up with hold on a sec. What's funny? Wait. Are you the first one to have kids in your hole? I am why I have a Brothers 10 years. There who doesn't have kids, you know, I know but and my other brother who is older than me. He just had a year and a half ago had his first kid. Yeah, and I had my kid nine years ago. I'm the baby of the family and I was the first kiss Yeah. Well, yeah, it's not for everybody. Yes. Wow, Anita Franco says I got pregnant when I was 20, then she's and she's 24 now and kids drain you no matter what age you are. This is the one you thought should be the new philosophy. You know, what the fuck he's right. Another good point is another nugget just and it doesn't matter. So somebody else said, it doesn't really matter as long as you are kind of mentally emotionally prepared. For having a kid but there are some you can never be that was a see more Leo's. Mama said I don't think it matters. If you're just mentally physically prepared either way, which you can never be maybe what she's saying is If you're kind of at peace with where you are in your with where you are in your life and you're not like oh, I wish I had done this 10 years ago or whatever. I'm never really liked that. I have a couple of friends who have kids of a couple of friends. You got married like right after college and quickly had kids and their kids are again going to be going into college and they're going to be home free like a lot of these young moms are and when you see them, you're like, oh I'm like, oh, that would be nice, but I'm not like regretting my own choices or my own life, right? Again, it's just circumstances the road leads where it led. I my secret machines. Yeah, my wife knows someone she went to college with who had a kid in college. And now that kid today is in college and that's fucking insane. It is insane. I mean to think about what it's all although I will say that between my 12 year old my five-year-old the passage of time. You can really see it. It's amazing. Just how quickly it goes from 5 to 12. Yeah, because like that it goes really quick and I'm sure I'm people are like dude. You don't even know. Yeah. Well l've to behave at the way to do teenagers. Should I know yeah. Yeah sure. So Lynn underscore is me. I had one at 24 and 1 at 39 pros and cons for both ahead the energy at 39 for a baby and toddler but hard to deal with teens against in my 50s. Yeah. I'm going to guess more. At 24 but didn't appreciate the baby as much because none of my friends had kids yet. So the baby was just like a drag. There we go. I think that's what's that's another thing right? Well, I feel I appreciated my son or I appreciate it. Well, my son when he was a baby more than I even appreciated my first or second. Well as your last one, you're like, I better soak it up. I and you know what, I fucking soaked and you did you soak it all up. That's what's keeping you so young with sucking up his life force. No, I just his placenta. Oh my God, underscore yellow umbrellas says I was 18 with my first and 24 with second big gap. But still young parent with both. She says she doesn't recommend being pregnant at 17, but she likes being young with her kids. Yes, which is the premise of the show Gilmore Girls. Yeah. It is with my mom and the daughter are like best friends because they're both they're closer culturally than you would be if you Your kids when you were 40 and my daughter my oldest daughter and I would watch or watched Gilmore Girls religiously. Yeah, it was really cool. It was like the our first like Logan did you think Barry should have ended up with Logan because I thought that guy was you son of a bitch. No, not the end. He son of a bitch. I didn't say I don't even know if he did. I just remember he was a prick which one's Luke Milo Ventimiglia from This Is Us now. No. No, that's what Jarrod pattern. Lucky from all Rory from Supernatural Rory's really like Alexis Bledel on the handmaid's tale now, that's where she is if she still is that's worry. That's the daughter Lorelai. I'm not yeah Laura was on Parenthood. Not as Lauren Graham a huge. She's in Bad Santa. I just fucking crush it. I get fucking the whole cast. I barely even walk the little we just demonstrated to everyone listening why there's three people that will tolerate you and who were the three name three prove it. As far as I know there's one and a half. Anyway, so Hilary Rachel says I had mine on my early twenties and now she's in her mid 30s in her biological clock is tickin like this. What movie is that from? My biological clock is tickin like this. You don't know Cousin Vinny dude, every buckets high five. I don't know. I Love My Cousin Vinny. I love it. What a fucking nightmare who doesn't love Marissa Tomei. All right a we all do she makes thank you get it. For win one of our patrons says she did both. I had my first daughter when I was 19 and my second and third kids when I was 36 and 37 respectively. It was easier when I was young because life had an already sucked out all my energy and joie de vivre. Excuse me, plus my first kid was really easy other two are clearly possessed. So maybe it's not even that I'm old. Maybe we just need an exorcist but really young or old it is hard and mostly sucks and he just and you might want to just skip the whole thing. She's my favorite. Surfer she's the new philosophy for me. She's good. They all need Exorcist and you might want to skip the whole thing. Does it matter what age you are kids are nightmare gonna be tough? Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the point. The point is is there is no right answer young old. It's they're both it suppose the only person that wins. I think we've covered this in this the only person who wins here is George Clooney who has a three year old and doesn't give a shit because he could do whatever he wants. Well, he's so rich who cares. He probably never met his kids. So good-looking and personable and affable he is affable. I mean honestly seems like a nice guy. He loves pranks and practical jokes. Like she's so like Riley. So there are a bunch of you have had them in the middle and I include myself, right? So M Vasco 326. We said we had our kids in mid 30s commented we wouldn't make a trade to have had them younger but we are tired dad and Bloated says I was 32 and I had my first what I'm dad and Bloated I told you knock off that a knockoff really like I'm not gonna catch with this version of again. What is your brand as you you're a dad and buried but Dad and dead there's an easy fucking pun dad and Bloated. This is named Annabelle. He's got a very funny Instagram account. I suggest you check it out. I will before fucking mocking the dude. Oh, all this content is original. I love it. All right. Can you do loving but I mean dude who copied who did you copy him? No, I've been around for fucking a decade somehow. He's probably got as many followers as me and it took him two years. I've had been around for 10. Goddamn it you making me sad is that I was 32 and I had my first I'm glad I waited past my 20s, right because he has a fucking good time getting getting dead. Then blow it in there. Believe me in your 20s. You just all about that girl. I'm angsty and I don't know what's happening. I'm angsty. I'm angsty reader underscore. Envy underscore says she's in her late 30s with a toddler and she's glad she waited. Mrs. Thompson says I was 31 hubby was 42 the financial security is the best parts and she gets to be a stay-at-home mom. She gets the best of both world. She has the kid when she's fairly young but her husband her sugar daddy. Has the financial security at 42 so she can stay home. Alicia Murdock says she was 28 and 30 they had energy and will be done sooner. But if we waited we'd have money right? Here we go. The more money more more better. Jimmy quick says, he's glad he waited had some fun living for himself in his 20s. Now, I'm content being a plug. I don't know what that means being a plug. I don't know what that means either anyone. I didn't know if one of you guys might have known so I kept it in there to find out tiful Thorne says, I had one at 30 and one at Six I felt young and then old wish I had had number two earlier glad to have more money now. Yeah, I think that's the idea. The point is is it is a so, what are we talking about? You have to have it 31:33. That's the sweet spot. I never had money in my 20s. I don't have money now like none of this applies to me because my I'm a failure and my life is always been trashed except for my kids you bring me just the joy and happiness. That's true. Don't forget your beautiful wife. Baman. Three said he had one kid born when he was 32. Perfect age. Wish I had my husband when she was younger though. She wishes she gave birth to her own husband. Yeah, that is using I wish I did. Who is this Caligula? My God, not even Caligula. It's like Marty McFly's mom. She was hot Lea Thompson. She was buggin. Ya ya ya bum. Ya hands off her man. Sorry, that's my best impression. I think of all time you never done a better impression, except when I do what's his name Sean Connery doing Dave Matthews. Tell me who's the king of girl shatter light Castle. No one even knows that song. I hate Dave Matthews, but Sean Connery is the best Bond. Can we all agree with what you know, we all agree. We've now recruit. It's you wanna hear my Louis Armstrong. I see Skies of Blue. The blue guy you meet Cookie Monster. He calls Cookie Monster. The blue guy Grover. Is that how he sounds absolutely Armstrong do Grover dude. This is horrible. Let's get back on track. Okay fine. I did bring either bring it back back from that. I'm available for parties. You know what? I really I this is my zone. I feel like a Malzone. Yeah, obviously you're in the middle, which was my whole point is we're in the middle. You're not a young dad are old then my whole thing was we don't really have a point of view on this why I was reluctant to do the topic. Hey, and we have a whole section. Glad you have the common they have an idea because we have a dedicated fan base, and the whole podcast is to give them a voice the whole point is to give them a voice, but I want to be able to be passionate about a topic and if I don't have a fucking through-line, thank you. Many pastors - you know what? Yeah, you know what you get my blood up Pete that fucking we get 200 ratings were going to do a fucking boxing match. We're going to get in those Sumo suits fucking American Gladiator style, dude. Why don't we just get in like just tie some T-shirts you what? Why don't we just look at why don't we just get a fucking mud-wrestling pit right here and take our clothes off. Whatever is fucking. I mean, I don't mean I don't want to do it. But will they won't they shit is going on long enough? Okay, God damn it. So Lego 1311 says something interesting to he she says I had just turned 30 when I had our kid. My mom was so worried. I would wait too long, right? That's the generational thing where like, oh my God, like you haven't had a kid when you're in your 20s. You fucking spinster go. This is it we got we now have generational. You know, what's a fucking word? I'm thinking of have no idea what you're coming to we have generational. Like perspective on how we are living our lives. So our parents are getting divorced all over the place your parents getting divorced. I mean, huh? No, not yet. But the point is is our parent Our Generations parents were being divorced all over the place right 80's 90's. Everyone's getting divorced. Why because they're getting married. They're getting married much younger societal pressure. What's now happening is it's trending much older or not much older, but older into the 30s and early 40s. And guess what people stand together longer things are happening, you know, and people just aren't getting married period that people are getting fewer people are getting married. If you're a real environmentalist, you're not going to bring a kid into this world. Oh, yeah, like when it's Paltrow and seven. What is she really she really was she had a meeting at a diner with Morgan Freeman and she was like I'm pregnant and I really am scared and Morgan Freeman talked about how when he was younger. He had his girlfriend got pregnant and he told her to get an abortion and he thinks he did the right thing with his not a day goes by that. He doesn't fucking regret that he had that fucking kid, but the world is a cesspool. This is the fictional dystopia of seven. The world is a cesspool. That's not actually how the song goes nay. Loves when I sang and he loves my pop culture references no look at him. He's literally--he's like hyperventilating. So little charmer 80 who is a very prolific commenter like literally cool it like like you don't need six boxes of comments. Just give me one or two. I had one kid at 33 kid to it 36 their kind of older parents know you're not so they're tired. We're all tired, but the kids weren't on her radar in her 20s, right? Right. This is what I'm saying. She's like I kind of like the idea of getting it out of the way earlier. But like if you're not in the mindset of you're not married or you're not with somebody and you're not like your end game isn't have kids. You're not like, oh I want to get this over with it's just not how you think then she's like, I'll be 52 when they're going to college and I think that's okay. Yeah, I feel pressure to stay healthy to be around for when they're older. We worry we won't be around when the kids are 40, like what if we never get to see like what if we never get to be grandparents to them, which is I guess a Aaron like I'm 43 now on my kid is three right? So like if he doesn't have kids until he's 40 not going to meet him by Bobby fucking so dead. Well Six Feet Under And I listened and unless you take the advice of our previous podcast, which is Dad bods and get your exercise on but well, I would if I didn't keep accidentally wearing women's gym clothes. That's true complete didn't mention that during the dad bod. Episode was weird. Weird. What about Sarge? What about sorry? Ouch, sorry, but I miss him so yeah, yeah read them up. So sorry says he had his first at 28 second 30 and I think I did a good at the time allowed me to enjoy my younger years and first five years of marriage. Then the kids ruined it all. Yeah. There you go. That's what happens to the children. Terrible. I'm also not 50. So there we go. Not yet. Not yet. But knock on wood knock on wood. That's what you do. You just stop it when you knock on wood. Stop you halt the process of aging and know you just knocking I would is like reverse jinxing. I know the idea. Okay, so what the fuck man just like it was so stupid. Anyway MK steps as I envy my friends who had kids right out of high school. Their kids are grown in their traveling the world and reveling in their emptiness and they're still young enough to enjoy Dino. But again, like unless you're like unless you marry your high school sweetheart or you you get married that Quick or whatever is the most people don't find their person that early they don't find their lobster that early friends reference kind of so stupid the show so stupid but it's what I'm saying. Like this isn't necessarily something that's always under your control. Right? So it's easy to have regret for something you didn't do but not being able to plan it. Is that something you should regret think that people well first of all, It's a come it starts with the whole marriage up. Well, maybe we should reframe it. If you're with someone and you get them pregnant is that an invitation to get married and start a family or just fucking leave town and get the fuck out but the point is is our parents came from a generation. We're getting married in college or before College was like a thing. Yeah, and they didn't play the field anywhere near as much right you like you meet like a couple of people and they make it a choice anywhere near as much as needed. You had a clarinet you had no, we're not talking about the football fan hat. I had a saxophone pot of Adam might pick up women and vigor about you and the ladies just Yama Yama Yama extras. Friends. Yeah, well never not appreciate that one. So Caleb Colby mama says, they were old 35 and 38 but they traveled bought a house in are more mature, but they're exhausted by their kids now, but you're always going to be right. So well, you may be hired. Maybe you have like a really nice house and maybe a little bit of extra help and sometimes maybe you have an extra house which also helps and because you're older the Ute and your rova, I have no idea if I got that name right says they started at 34 and the pro is they did all the bucket list stuff before they had kids traveling Etc. No fomo for me. Right? Right. And that's the thing. Like if you feel like you didn't live a full life before you have your kids then maybe that's when you have a big regret because once you have kids, yeah, you know, they call them anchor babies for a reason and I don't know the reason but I don't know but it sounds like it should apply so incorrect. Yeah ewot 78 says the big kind of being old parents is you can't get up and down off the floor and your back hurts. That's true. You need to be able to get your kid into a figure for face lock and lock them up because guess what that's the best part camel clutch when they are laughing and also saying Dad, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die in the second you let go they go again. Yeah, right. Oh, that's the best you're gonna like this open teeny 80 popular prolific. Commodore says, I'm 39. My Hub is 42. We have a three-year-old and one on the way one on the way. We waited seven years to have. Have kids focused on our careers traveled in partied and it was glorious. I don't regret it. But now we are freakin exhausted and do sometimes wish we did it sooner overall most of our friends and neighborhood neighborhoods in the neighborhoods had kids late 30s, just like us it's the new Norm age is just a number. Well, I agree with that and that's what I said you were going to do. I said you're going to agree with this. Yeah, and then you said I agree with that. Yeah, I think I mean that's that's that's good. However, I think You know what's going to happen is is the grandkids thing that comes into my mind which hey could tell he says here. You know what I think about it, you know, I my oldest daughter is going to have kids maybe if I'm in my late 50s. Well, this is the reverse so hey could tell it says First Kid at 42nd at 42. I was / am exhausted but there's more money and wisdom less patience though. It's hard that the grandparents are older her parents are older so she Up with her grandparents and her girls likely won't have that what you're saying is from the potential grandparent perspective. There's less odds that you're going to have the your grandkid. How fucking crazy is it that I would just think that I would possibly you put yourself in a grandparent shoes. And you know what there's something I have to say about think about that that you what you're in being a grandparent. Yeah, but that's not for this podcast. That's pretty much more sentimental and Yeah, save it for the sentimental podcast. We don't do that. Well that's called love and laughter love live laughter die crying. Hey live live. It's live love laughs. So should I cry? I hate right answer. That's right. You know that. Well, no no live love laugh Live Laugh Love Die cry. Hey, you know what? I want to I need to make those signs, but I hate is too hot guy and hate are too harsh to actually sell that is the problem is it If you sell it, and you say it's German like the the BART, 'they vbar Indiana this guy like Simpsons references. Okay. Alright. Alright, so that was it. Well, thank you, sweetheart. But you know, what's a fun fact what did we are now older parents now than we were before. We started recording this podcast and everyone listening is much much older from this Nate Nate. Did you take do you regret not having kids already? Well, it's possible. Yeah. Well, it's possible and Mick Jagger had a when it like 70. So as you can do the you think you think make Jagger Mick Jagger is this is the role model pictures of his kid texted to him. Yes. He's never met a child raising that you doing Mick Jagger know you want me to do Louis Armstrong Mallory. You have one. Massive look I promise. I'm a humorous time out of mimic. You're just not an impressionist. You just gagging. All right, everybody. We'll catch you next time. I don't know what we're gonna do next. We'll keep you posted.
Ever think that you had kids at the wrong time in your life? If only you had them earlier you wouldn't be so damned tired all the time. Then again, if you had them any younger youd've lost your formative party years when you were on the scene crushing it [Read: eating cereal in your underwear watching Judge Judy re-runs till 3am]. Don't worry, friend you're not alone (well I guess we're all alone ultimately) there are others who feel the same way. Thier names are Mike and Pete and they explore all the angles in this episode. 