What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot. F m-- to get started. Hey gang, welcome to the dead and buried show. My name is Mike AKA dad and buried you may know me from my various online presences my blog which is a dying a slow death. Thanks to the Facebook's algorithms and then, you know, frankly your own neglect and that visiting it but I'm going strong on Instagram. Yeah, we're Pete. My co-host here does not have a presence. Is a lot right and how my God he doesn't know how to log into his computer. Facebook is about Instagram. Now, I know but Facebook owns Instagram, you're right, you know this but I do know that the same and it's a yeah, but anyway, I'm verified so good for you. So obviously, I have a lot of opinions on parenting and on my kids and on myself and on Pete and Pete's shirt there. Is that golfers on your shirt. What is that Polo the fuck? Is that hula? Hula hula ladies. It's hula ladies. Ladies who like #me too. It's inappropriate was like mermaids. I meant to Somerset mermaids. I don't know man. You know, what don't attack me. Anyway, I need somewhere to vent and tours and doing it. I'm not really everything about parenting but it's the official film of the dead and buried podcast. So I just wanted to say thank you for coming. If this is your first time I think you're going to enjoy this especially if you don't have a problem with swearing because it happens. Yeah. Um and Pete was raised in London, so please stick with us and don't hold that against us. Well, I think yeah, I mean, I don't know why anyone would it's called the fucking Revolutionary War bitch is that's why yeah it is because I was raised in London. Yeah, we don't like you interesting. We don't like really you're really pulling these things all together anyway, so we went but I have I have three kids you do have two kids one more than me, which means you're less smart than me. You also went to the worst the lesser of the two main salemba. I never I never thought about not including MIT which neither of us or Harvard. Could even fucking approach with the with a stick. Anyway, I want to thank all our patreon supporters on patreon or allow patrons patrons on patreon patron saints. We have a bunch of different tiers there. We can contribute different amounts of money. We got Chris Coleman David Tuttle Ms. Buying who also who submits through anchor on the single dad tear we got Barbara Geiger AKA funky feet all the way from Germany who says that we recorded that when it's 2 a.m. There. So yeah, if this were alive she wouldn't be able to listen, but it's not life it comes out usually on Thursday, but You to get the world the global. We have a global and we do have a global audience Paula policy on the dad. Bod tail all the thank you the Father Figure tear my old friend Julie McCarthy apologize for anyways, I've wronged you in the past. There are plenty everyone. I've met has a laundry list the world's greatest dad tear. We got Mary Williams and Mom party of Two And if we got my new dad our friend Sarge was the patron the patron saint of our patreon. Yep, and our podcast is that guys on the Hall of Fame in the Hall of Fame for us. He bought a mug Jersey thrush. Sure, there are store which is a spreadshirt.com. Dad - and - buried it's the worst. Yeah, it should have underscores. I mean on our store but the URL to go so if you like the podcast go to patreon and and help us subscribe and help us. So we're literally in an actual sweat box right now. I'm losing weight. What you watched on YouTube. I've got moisture on my lip. It's offensive in a lot of different ways. You can go to iTunes and give us reviews. Thank you to the 42 people will give us five star reviews. The someone who gave us a three-star well coming for you. We don't know why you didn't leave a comment you coward why three stars? Why not two more? Look what about do is Click even if you don't like it, all you gotta do is Click what about one's auditing your reviews and whether you believe it be nice. It's the Christian thing to do. Okay. I was raised Catholic and I don't know but yeah, you don't know. Alright, you're from England. No, but I'm just saying well, how about give us a 1 come on man up. Give us a 1 in comment. Why? Given us the one so we can improve ourselves. That's what ratings are for not to shit on somebody constructive criticism. There you go, right? Yeah. I'm always things. I'm trying to learn with with my children and we're going to talk about that this week the different parenting Styles. We're going to be discussing. That's the topic of this week's show show. So I did want to say we missed last week due to a variety of scheduling mishaps. So we have a bunch of comments from my previous two episodes, which were the helicopter parents episode. And what was the one before raising raising kids in your family. So we want to get into some of those comments that you guys left on YouTube starting with Sarge again, the Hall of Fame charter member of the dead and buried podcast fan Li family. I just coined that like it know either so he said each of the comment of helpful family members enraged me. So he's bitching about the fact that some people were like, oh our family helps us all the time with free babysitting, you know, what enraged us to if you listen to that episode Pete and I were very angry and envious of those people and frankly. Lee I'm probably one of those people if the three-star review why should why should they get all the help? Why should they Why can't your in-laws come help us Why can't your grandparents your kids my parents? Come help us are our parents are horrible horrible parent horrible. Don't you don't help us? We live in New York City. It's easy to get here variety of ways. Exactly. You don't have to go through LaGuardia if you don't want to so he goes on and he calls out Shannon quit bragging Shannon, no one likes you and then he welcomes the other the other patrons who joined him on patreon and says what took you so long. You know what? Sarge we agree. What the fuck took you people so long no offense. I'm sorry this charity. Yeah, it's you very highly you this is just the beginning right now. It is there. I'm really sweating like Jabba the Hutt over here. So Heather Smith actually corrected directed The the URL and I got it wrong earlier when I said it was spreadshirt.com sighs dad - and buried its shop dot spreadshirt.com slash forward slash dad - and - buried if you want to buy a mug or a Bag eventually, we're going to vomit bowls Pete's sake of your vomit bowls on there. Yeah, and hopefully pint glasses are bottle openers. Yeah. We'll see. Well, I don't know. She said it's difficult to trust anyone outside of family for some families. Anyway, which is sure I get scared when I get a babysitter. I just get the cheapest possible person every time though, you know. Yeah. I mean, I think I've for me it's like as long as you're able to use a phone for good maybe for even for like phone sex when I was a kid. I called her. Yes. Oh, Hey. Listen, sir, you're having phone sex outside. Why wouldn't you just have it on my hell man? I would like to go outside. I'd like to go to dinner with my wife when you're off the party line. Yeah. Yeah, like they still have Sweet Emotion hang that up and give us a call on 900 you need help or call 9-1-1 when I was a kid when Howard the Duck came out. I called the Howard the Duck line. It's like fucking buck-fifty every two minutes or something probably more than that. Just talked to Howard the Duck for some reason we use against were your parents. That you're finally like, you know, I think chat. I had a friend if you know is Howard like, you know what honey? It's cost us 400 bucks. But at least well, you know white boy, you know, what happened there were like guess where that money's coming from his college fund because he ain't going if he's gone then one 900 Howard the Duck guess what joke's on you Mom and Dad. I did go. Maybe that's why they don't help out. Yeah, I think so as much as I would like them to she says however with my parents you can't just pop in you have to schedule an appointment weird, but other than mother-in-law sister-in-law and niece that's it on the Family. In regards to a babysitter, we've had a lot. It ain't always easy getting away from these damn kids. No, it's not. Oh that's Mom party of two. I didn't even see she's one of our patrons. Thank you Heather and I knew she was in Maryland the DMV as they call it the people that live down in the Delaware, Maryland, Virginia is of the day is no I think it's the District of Columbia, Maryland, Virginia, but I can't be sure so Heather let us know if you've ever heard the term DMV. Yes. I'm sure she has her the term DMV. So Julie Julie McCarthy. Yeah, not the same one. Julie McCarthy you my old friend said my late mother. Live nowhere near a body of water bigger than her bathtub bathtub refused to wear a seatbelt in case she crashed her car and ended up trapped underwater good coffee felt similarly about car seat. She refused to wear car seats because other heavy, you know what it's awkward when you walk into a party and you're wearing a car seat will especially if somebody else is wearing the same car same God. I'm so embarrassed accordingly when she would offer to babysit for my daughter. I had to order her not to put my child in her car ever under any circumstances. She was all you turned out fine without any safety precautions in short grandparents can't be trusted. It was a Different time back then. You know what in that case I would purposely drive into water just to be like see see, I think he's dead because of the car seat meaning the opposite I would drive in and say I was always our the grandma because I wasn't wearing my I would prove my point by doing the very experiment that I told everybody so about my wife's dad mom and Barry's dad follow her on Instagram. He was they were visiting for Thanksgiving and one point it came up and he just said Believe in seatbelt and I literally did a fucking double kick. I'm like what you don't believe in in seatbelts. Like ya know believe in him. It's like the fur Tooth Fairy. He was an over-the-road truck driver. That was his job. Yeah, he doesn't believe it doesn't bleed. I don't know. The phrasing is strange. I don't believe in them like they're real my man. You know what he talking about those those poindexter's those Poindexter scientists are those fucking honored wearing their seatbelts trying to save their own lives make me a break. So it's funny were talking about seat belts because the other episode we did was helicopter. Parents. Yes, and some helicopter parents probably put multiple seat belts on there. Yes, just to make sure you know what speaking of car seats how about like having your seven-year-old in the car seat dude, your seven-year-olds exams, right? Yeah, that's not good. Yeah with that car seat attack. So Rob Karen and chimed in and said, I don't appreciate the bad-mouthing of Robin Williams billion performance in Aladdin. Don't remember doing it stand by it 100% I find it really annoying and I'm not a huge fan of Williams is stand up which is essentially what he's doing in Aladdin. You don't find that you all he does is throw out words and do quickfire shit. Like I'm not saying he's not talented. I just don't think it's that funny. You don't think Robin will you no no, I think Robin Williams has been funny and can be funny. I don't think some of his sand up. Is that great and I'm not a huge fan of the movie Aladdin its just stream of Consciousness. And yeah, he can do lots of shit and it's amazing to see him thick on his feet. Cocaine's a hell of a drug, but I don't love the movie Aladdin certainly not going to see the Will Smith won even though my kid already. He loves it. I'm just saying, you know what Rob we can have different opinions and still get along. Anyway, he says as the dad of an autistic child who has a tendency to run away when you are not looking. Well, that's problematic. I've started to develop helicopter parent attributes not with all my kids, but definitely with him but his out of necessity. Well, that's not helicopter parenting. That's just being a conscientious parent who's scared for his kids well-being. You're not overdoing it if your kid is fucking yeah dashing off into traffic no know when you're not looking at you if you if that's a reason to be S. The problem is it's when it's like Oh, you know you're overprotective because you have different who's trying to catch their kid who's on the slide and you're like dude. It's on the slide. We've all gone on slack. Some of us haven't made it. But that's fine. It's just natural selection goddamn selection of it. Yeah every once in a while wait fucking coming from Dad and bury the new fragrance natural selection if it's anything like how I smell right now. Nobody wants it. So Sarge again. Yeah chimed in he's chimed in and left and right on here. He said I cannot attest to this formality. T Sarge we're friends. You don't need I cannot attest to what you experience but my cousin who was 10 years old has autism. Oh he's responding to brob and I remember when he was younger he would bolt and Sprint down the street if you weren't watching exactly that's not helicopter. Well, especially if yeah, if you have someone who's is affected by a disease or has some some issues. Yeah. No. No, I mean being protective and being worried about them. That's that's good parenting yours. Congratulations Rob. Thank you. Good parent. Thank you for protecting. Your child helicopter parent is when you take a perfectly healthy child. And you take him to a playground and then you stand their arms outstretched while they're doing any and you give them anxiety because if your own and all the other parents are just the fuck back off motherfucker, like like if he has fall if that person the kid falls let him ball. So Sarge Did also say if it weren't for this podcast, I'm pretty sure Pete doesn't exist. I even I mean even my 70 plus year old grandmother has social media. Yeah, you know what I bet she has some good opinion and guess what? Sorry guess what Cambridge analytic has all over that. I'll see ya. I love the I ran to the very beginning don't remember what it was that I'm not surprised. There was a rant at the beginning. It's kind of what I do, which was at 5:10 a.m. Thanks to my toddler waking me up that happens to me all the time. Mind you the little guy never wakes up. Mom. I'm always the target of his torture. You know what thank you for speaking out Sarge because most moms are like dad's don't fucking get up that don't do that shit. Guess what? That's do. I'm I do. I'm the only one who gets up me to the nighttime the mom dude. Yeah, I'm mr. Mom. Mr. Mom and buried somebody referred to me recently. Is they like Mama bears Instagram account? More than mine. You don't have to tell me that. I'll get the tabard full. I'll get the tap in the middle of night Dad. It's 3 dot dot one to get up. No go fucking back to sleep. So this didn't happen overnight. But today my son asked me when was when was soup invented. I Googled it. Apparently it's been around since 20,000 BC I go I thought 86 the more, you know 80s 1986. Yeah. It's a right at during the World Series. I thought that's when someone was like, wait a second guys put Super put it assistant put a bone in law is actually somebody had a vomit bowl and they're like that. So Paula Paul ski also says I have it on good authority that Pete is actually just a hologram. I am actually just no way a hologram would wear those kinds of clothes. You don't know how a grandma I'm self-respect the fuck dude my from where and it's it's working out. So we had a question a couple weeks ago where somebody used the term puddle jumper. I guess it was MSB buying perhaps and she said it's Pete really did Pete really grew up in England that he doesn't know that a puddle jumper is a pool floaties up. That's not Nellie's. It's not raining probably never heard of a puddled a puddle jumper is either one is like a little plane that jump from like the keys to my enemy. I don't remember saying puddle jumper but I do didn't say across someone said it and I was like what the hell's a puddle jumper and I guess that it was like rain boots and you didn't know what it was because I think maybe you lie about cross having grown up in any no. No, I think maybe do a hash tag fact-checking. She's also thank God for being able to listen this while on my two-week International family of international a brag Jesus. Oh, she can't wait for podcasts guess which is The reason we need ya we want more patreon subscribers, if you can spare the get some more mics as a people in house and get the equipment. We need to have good sounding phone according. Yeah, my wife really is desperate to be honest. She won't shit. She is. She really? No. She doesn't listen. She's not she doesn't listen, but if she's on it she listened. So there's one more follower subscriber if we get around one. So Paul says the societal pressure impacts dad's to I developed some helicopter Tennessee's because I didn't want to be the doofus dad who doesn't know how to take care of so he's over. It is over based on the stereo. Okay. Yeah, I overcorrect the opposite way and I'm worse. Oh so much so that my rifle. Yeah take care of the kids and can't trust dad. Come on. Let's get going. But no that was good. That was a good lot of Engagement. If you guys want to comment what we're doing is we post on face on on YouTube so that we can get comments and individual episodes where these came fast so that that we want to hear from you guys. We'd love to be obvious you're commenting to Mike directly on Instagram, but for the episode specifically We get a little convo going. Yeah, and this week we're going to talk about parenting Styles and when you and your spouse maybe parent a little bit differently and yeah and how that plays out. So that's coming up after this if we have not completely melted because I am literally like I haven't sweat this much since my friend Rizzo's wedding and August of 2007 and a feel than fucking Watertown, Massachusetts in a tux with no cloud cover no trees and I was my face was a waterfall much like this. I am literally my shirt is going to be transparent soon. Mmm, basically to but people can't wait to that shit and not wait my BQE shirt. Let's do it brooklyn-queens Expressway, which I walked under earlier today. That's correct. All right, let's do it. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and Listen offline, wherever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for dead and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right guys this week we're talking about different parenting Styles. But when you and your spouse parent a little bit differently in a variety of different ways so differently the interesting thing that's happening in my life right now. One of the many many interesting things that's happening is Mom and buried his going back to work and I am still a deadbeat who cannot find a job to save his life. So I'm working. I'm at home with my kids who are both out of school because we're in the summer. I wrote a thing about being a stay-at-home dad and why I suck at it and how it's hard and I don't like it. My Instagram and on Facebook, if you haven't seen that check it out today.com called me up and interviewed them a little bit and we talked about it and then I got off the phone with them and they ran it today today parenting. It's like today shows parenting website. As far as I know like Savannah Guthrie does not even Metallurgy does not contribute. You were no Haitian today.com parenting Savannah Guthrie be like what now, you know what you but you know, what on the plus side neither Is Matt Lauer so they ran that today? So today Monday this is going to air on Thursday. So a couple of days ago if you're listening and it's almost as soon as I saw that it was live and I may be shared it on my thing. I'm at home with my kids went to the playground because I try to do like one thing a day that makes me feel better about it. What ya gonna take you kids. I went to the movies one day last week with them and I'm like fucking nailed it. We sat in a room instead of the screen, which is not good when you do it at home, but when you go to the movie, it's a day out dad. Fucking ear baby. Yeah, so when to the playground we got home from the playground and my kids love playing attack with me, which is essentially I get on my bed and they like jump on me and we wrestle in the hippie with pillows. Yeah, and I have been able to do it a lot because of my sciatica the legendary sciatica, which over the past few weeks seems to have subsided. You know, why I've gone running longer I've gone running you've gotten stronger. I'm starting to get back in shape. I'm losing probably 15 to 20 pounds just recording this podcast in this literal hell hole right now. So I'm like sure you know what? It's been a while. Yeah, they hadn't even asked in a while. But let's do it. Let's do a little so what they do I jump on them throw them around a little bit. I try to make sure that their Noggins don't bump into each other because the toddler and the that make sure that my oldest kid doesn't kick his little brother in the face because he's flailing with his legs and then like they bury me in pillows and I pretend I'm like Dad or passed out and then and then we'll like a merge right and grab them right? So today I'm emerging. Yeah, and I'm reaching out from Over the pillows and accidentally I'm reaching out with my hand in the form of a Yeah, and I think I hit my eight-year-old in the temple now. I did not hit him in the temple. I pulled up he starts screaming bloody murder emphasis on Bloody because I've hit him in his nose and his nose is now a fucking faucet of blood. He's the blood and he he's literally like O nanak City. He's bleeding. It's dark Reds like Maroon, he's going I'm gonna die. I don't want to die. I'm like doing I'm gonna die just but died over there. No, no. No, it's on the sheet and on the sheet. It's on the pillow cover. It's on the duvet cover that what it is. Duvet cover me. It depends on I bring them to the bathroom. I'm clocking. That's it. Shitty. This is a you know, what unconventional way that I use to solve these things OB I cut off his nose. No. No. Usually you you hold the bridge of the nose how you put a put a no? No you do that. Well, I don't have it. I didn't have a tampon yell at me right but I'll tweet paper wadded-up do that. The other thing I do is I make them blow his nose. If you blow the nose you sometimes they like the tendon or whatever the shit comes out and that stops IT, right? It's not the easiest thing to do, especially if it's a bad one got him, too. Would even though he refuses to blow his nose when there's just not in there like he's like I can't do it. He's like scared of it calm down got him to do it. And I think he's actually kind of cool. He's covered in blood literally like I'm covered in it and then eventually looks up at himself and he's like, I'm the motherfucking badass bitch. Yeah. So I'm going to post a photo of that soon of him with the toilet paper was nose because not only do I want to physically harm him. I want to psychologically damaged him by humiliating him on my Instagram verified account with 80,000 followers. Congrats for clocking him Square was an accident. I was trying to hit his Temple. I wasn't trying to be either right now. I know listen I do wrestling too by the way. And so I with all three and you can omit so here's the way the way it goes. Usually for me is let's rest tablets Russell. It's called we do wrestling it's pitiful pillows for me the pillows go at as full strength right. Now. You cannot throw a pillow harder at a human being that I do. It was my concern when I do that is your gonna Like whip their head around like you're going to hit them so hard that they like I don't know. I throw it across the room. You don't swing it like a basement on and that's what I do. Well, I do that oranges in it. No, it doesn't worries on the outside is actually just first their internal or I do I do that as well, but bars is Sophia but in the second is is and I say to my middle kid, who's my daughter? I say do not use it. We can't wrestle because you're immediately going to start crying. I'm not I want to wrestle and she's like all over me. She's on my back and like choking. Yeah and like doing anything and I'll just get her leg and I'll turn around. Upside down and immediately starts crying and crying dad terms. Like what the fuck what a way we're playing this fcking game here. And then I'm like and then secret Lamont. That's right. You mess with the bull you get the fucking horns. So this is a pretty dad Centric kind of thing. I think does the most of the roughhousing. I'm sure and some of your home's the mom doesn't run housing. Don't at me. All right, so moms can run fast. So Mom and buried coincidentally posted a meme. She saw about picking battles we Had this conversation a lot where basically says, you know, you're picking too many battles put some down no more than that. You're picking tomatoes like what the meme said and then she wrote a little thing about how I pick too many battles and it fills the house with tension and stress because I'll end up yelling at my son and all the shit. So it gave us the idea. I mentioned this to you give us the idea to have a podcast about different parenting styles with your spouse and how you deal with that. So I asked people if they have different parenting Styles than their spouse does and how that plays out and how they deal with it a handful of people said actually no, we're very well aligned and again like Sarge with people who have family help. We don't want to hear from you. It's not what this podcast is about. This is that you're warm you're having an angry. You have a wonderful relationship with both your spouse and your children, you know, what just stay out of it. Give us a five star review on iTunes and yeah, don't stay out of it. All right. Just kidding. We want to hear from everybody. I just not going to read the happy comments on the air like my got to Instagram account which is like how parenting has changed your life if you're smiling in the app yet for the worst not using it. Guess what that's not funny. Yeah, if your life improved because he had kids you're just you're destroying my entire premise you're now in your an outlier. First of all, let's be honest. So anyway, the picking battles thing came up and I asked and a bunch of people seems like the husbands are the are the effect explain what you mean by picking battle. Okay, so it means You need to let some shit go right? You can't jump on your kid for every minor thing they do right? And sometimes when you get home when you say you are that's a general. You're not me. I'm probably I'm talking about parents everywhere. Like you got to let some stuff go with something. You kind of have to learn right? You can't my kids eating dinner and he and he sits Indian style or puts his leg up right like in the grand scheme of things who gives a shit really, right? But if I'm in a bad mood, which is 90% of the time especially this stage of my life sciatica mon employed. Which is getting better hang with you all the time and not the employment but not they had a deployment is not getting better can't stress that enough but like you can't make a big deal of it all that stuff like savior fucks for the stuff that matters right? You shouldn't give a fuck about that. It just fills the place with unnecessary tension. Yeah, my wife gets on me because she feels like I am constantly picking at my eight-year-old for all that shit. Which Grammy she has a good point like it's not good for him, especially since the three-year-old gets away with a lot more because a three-year-old doesn't know what he's doing in a way that an eight-year-old needs to write right? So I do it too much Sara Lee Contreras says her husband picks every battle and she's like every time he doesn't she's like I picked my sanity which I think means she leaves when he does that but also lets a lot more don't let it go. That's smart. Hillary so8 says he wants to pick every battle I pick and choose the important Ones based on health and safety which is how it should be right the opposite of wives. It sounds like the wives are really like coming in with the coming in hot coming in. Hi Maria. Adam buried in the suck and they're agreeing with Mom and buried and they probably prefer her Instagram. And again, you don't have to tell me that I dot candy 7 says I try to knit bad habits in the bud, but my husband says let our four-year-old have fun for now. See that's a flip-flop. So that would be like me where I'm like get your leg down or use your utensils. You're not a caveman. I can you need your know how to cut he still is no I seal my kids and they don't know it's salad. I'm like what? But it's salad. What do you mean? It's like if it were fries sure but he'll say it about weird stuff. It's fucking soup. Of course. I'm using my hand you talking about but yeah, that's a bad habit that you like you like. It's my job to kind of teach you how to live in society you eating pasta with your fucking macaroni and cheese your PS1 by what time like a bird who uses his hands exact right? It's like a weird bird creature like Hawkman hmm eats like a bird but has opposable found tie. All of every single child that I Have other bird every single one with the hand water just it's so irritating even the kid weeds to breakfast heat, but he did he just will sit there for hours and just keep eating one at a time. So half an acre says my husband picks more this is this she might as well be my wife my husband picks more battles because they are so much alike. He and her son. She's like I know how to pick fewer and she said partially because she deals with the husband and she knows what the husband's life if she knows nothing the battles with him and the kids exactly. She says a behavior chart is made things better, which is she spelled it the British way. Yeah, you know shout out to Pizza bringing you or maybe the Canadian way and I assume that's like a reward chart where they know. Yeah, you done that, right? Yeah. I'm just having a daughter of I've ever called it a behavior, you know what has worked really try to reinforce good behavior rather than punish the bad we did we found this. I don't know where we learned it, but it was early on with my older daughter is now 11, but she in her nursery school. They had a Laughs light red. Yeah, you've mentioned this red. Yellow green. Yeah, we talked about this in the desolate podcast. I haven't put it into action yet and it's amazing the effect of that but of course it just like we forget about it after like, oh my God. Yeah. Well consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. Is that the phrase but but can I say so before it's really hard to be consistent as a parent at least for me because I'm a kind of a shitty person and a bad parent but it is really the key to the whole thing. Yeah. Well, I think also it's like it's, you know, there's something we all have different experiences growing up. Right and some of us have similar experience eight had really similar ones. Yeah, maybe get I'm saying are our wives our spouse. Let's just solve all units all units. That's right. So, you know Different Different Strokes for different folks different experiences. My wife had a very different growing up experience and I did and so we come we have different, you know Styles apparent. Obviously. I'm well, not necessarily obviously some I think it was obvious, but I'm pretty bright. Okay, but but you know, I'm always at like I'm always at like a level 7. Yeah aggravated like just a college that's like your natural walk in like hey, that's your Baseline. You know, just like okay. Can you can you get your feet? Can you operate like a 7 to 10 at all times? I just like hey guys, come on. Can I ask you to do this? Can you do it? Hey guys, come on, let's do this and I'm always on the case. And of course by wife is why are you always on the yeah Meanwhile my wife who's absolutely amazing. He's got a one 90% of 190 and but her volume goes to 11 then eleven eleven thousand eleven thousand. No, then she my wife the same size as the nuclear option when my wife goes off efferent it's rare and and it is explosive and I get scared. Yeah. I'm a joke way too much and then all of a sudden you just like, how do we come back from this the the interesting thing about that when my wife will Mom and buried does explode it's like bunker mentality between me and the kids and all of a sudden. I'm like, yeah. That's when I'm my best. Yeah. All right, let's keep yeah. Yeah, you know, you know, mommy's really upset if that happens to try to fix this drive like that because usually they're scared of me because I'm but they're also not they go to view - yeah, they get so used to it. I heard of this. Yes, they're tired of it of this this human being who's just constantly like do the don't eat with your feet. Why are you eating with your feet dad that's actually impressive they can even their feet and well, I don't know what get him get him to the circus long story short you and I are the worst. Yeah big time, but I will say though that the one the one thing that I that does aggravate me is disciplining based on mood now. Well, that's part of the problem is we would know it can work we come home and you're tired and frustrated well, but I you're in a bad mood I read say because I'm at this 7 to any level. I feel like I'm always kind of like hey, I will say the same thing kind of consistently. Yeah, whereas my wife will depending on her mood will let definitely the Same thing why would let it fly, but then similarly would also let the same thing if she was nicer up. Well, that's for consistency makes to come in right and that's where it gets a little weird because it's well and we're trying to we're still trying to figure it out. I have no idea how to do any of this stuff is somebody actually mentioned that where when they're trying to work with their husband or their spouse on how they work with a lot of it comes down to who's more pissed off in the moment and who's more grumpy, right? Who's the Worst parent and then how they deal with it afterwards. Yeah a lot of times if you're pissed you're not going to listen to your spouse about like what you should be doing. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, especially with your spouse one of these days Alice if your spouse is then all of a sudden on their side, then you're like, oh, yeah, so we'll how about this fuck everybody in this. I'm going to the bar. Yeah, and then you're talking about ba RR e which is the class that I take and is in the Barre Vermont. Yeah near Montpelier. Exactly. So miss Chelsea. ER Miss shells Year may have written that wrong Miss missed. Okay. Mrs. Gels here. Yeah. This is yelling doesn't actually work. He thinks getting louder as the answer. I prefer quieter yelling does work probably not. This is the problem. I yell do she says you're eight years in but if you yell most of the time and then you You get quiet. There's a there's a funny. There's a toothpaste for dinner is like an online comic strip, which is actually really funny and it says don't one of them says don't yell at your kids whisper quietly. It's a lot scarier. Yes, which is funny on an adventure, especially if you like say I'm going to kill you. That's really scary. You know what that's a really good point and I should stop screaming. Yeah exactly. Will you get in trouble? Like if you're especially in the Summer with the windows open? You don't want to hear you say that no, but also like that. Yeah. No, but the the arm grab it slight pressure on. Oh my God. The problem with that when you do that, no, no think you're doing it's light and then the kid acts like they're in a vise and they scream and then you're like everybody notices like when you're at the park and you're doing it and you let go, you know, would you do exactly so Robin Kay Thompson comes out guns blazing like I thought this is very passive-aggressive. She goes. I'm an actual parent instead of a friend boom in her husband's face. Wow, she said but that means I'm captain mean mom 100% of the time that's him an actual parent instead of a friend like the fuck you you my husband who clearly doesn't listen to the podcast or she wouldn't have put that in with her name on it. I don't consider my wife to be a friend of my I mean look, we're both friends with our kiddo. But so I think that's really all I think that's a really interesting point. Do you are you and should you be friends with your kids or should you know parent I don't I believe you can do both. There's an I absolutely believe but I believe that there's an intersection and that intersection is somewhere around, you know, when you get both drink together, yeah like in 20 years, but also when they get older when they're teenagers, it's a lot more. Necessary for you to be a parent hair and not a friend. I'm not you know the whole like me, you know, the Amy Poehler Mean Girls is yeah. That's yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna try to regular mom. But I mean, I think you really need to that's when you need to be setting boundaries and that's why I'm a dick all the time three say they're used to it. You know what I'm thinking you are you thinking this all the dimensional chess? Yeah. So the Robinson life says are different styles can be a problem. We talk it out and compromise a lot are different styles can be a problem. Problem. Hopefully you're able to talk it out and compromise. Somebody else said we will talk it out. We discuss with Jackie bat said we should we both discussed what we should do and then go off and do completely different things. Right? It's easier said than done. Like I'll have plenty of conversation with my wife about how I need to pick your battles how this is bad for my son what I'm doing and I'll be like, I'll try to be better. You're right. You're right and I do agree with her. It doesn't it's hard to change. I need to start of meditating the second. You see that leg on the table eating pasta. Yep. It's I want to flip the table over and I want you to be on the other end of it. You know, it's like what the fuck are you doing? Just eat with a spoon. I have told you this 30 times point is just eat with a fucking spoon. I don't want to pick them. Here's the thing eat with a spoon. I'll eat you with a spoon. Oh man. So thanks, I don't want to pick every battle. But if I have pre so maybe tonight. I'm not going to pick that battle. But guess what if I have previously picked that battle 25 times and you were still fucking losing the battle. I'm going to be pissed. Just right if I have told you a million times don't put your leg up like that or eat and you still haven't gotten it through your thick skull. Yeah, the odds of me letting it go that extra time or not good right? It's like then it but I've let so here's what I found is when when my wife speaks to the kids just like oh, hey, could you please do this? Yeah, the kids are listening. We got to be constructive here. We want to see do this instead of that. No, you know what? I'm three Bourbons deep and I don't have time for that shit. It's bedtime. Okay, so been teeny 80 says that her husband. And I think this happens probably a lot in in relationships one of the other he said she said he thinks I coddle him. It's an always an ongoing issue like when her husband forgot the toddler's favorite stuffed animal and favorite PJ's and he said the kid can deal. Yeah, and he also thinks that he thinks that Mom buys their son too. Many toys. He can go play with rocks. Like what century is this guy from rocks? If he's ever seen a screen. Guess what he wants the screen. Yeah. I understand. I agree. Like it's okay for them to be bored. They don't need all this shit. We didn't grow up with this shit, but you forgot to dudes favorite stuffed animal or his favorite PJ's like that's just bad news for everybody. Right sounds like the dads getting a little bit defensive and rather than admit his own mistakes. He's being like kicking fucking learn to deal with it. Guess what? Yeah, I don't I mean sand back when he was a kid Sabrina borrow 6 says, my husband is a softie unless their daughter get away with murder, right? This is it goes back and forth. Oh good cop bad cop just say this. Joke, we call back to restaurants episode that we did a couple I remember that we oh, yeah, no shit. There was a kid. We were at a Thai restaurant had a Satay skewer chicken skewer goes up to a DOT that it was that we were sitting outside in the backyard. The there was a dog out there beating just sitting totally being great and this little like three-year-old four-year-old sits down with each set a skewer next to the dog. And of course, the the owner is like has the dog owner of that dog. Owner of the dog is has the dog and it's like hey and this just a random kid. The parents are just Young Living us their yukking it up like they deserve some of that's what a long time. Guess what what am I living? You know stands up turns around picks the four-year-old up and goes, where's your mommy and daddy? No shit fucking I was really are the honestly like got tears in my eyes is like, yeah. Why did you bring that annoying come back in the restaurant was said go take him to the parents and tell them that this fuckwad. Yeah. It was had a chicken like a skewer. So what we're doing In the darkness smoking the exactly the exactly the whole thing was going to end up disaster. Yeah, but I want to know was the kid got the kid the Donald he was gonna stab the doll. He didn't know what the fuck he just wanted to know. Is that jobs elbow that kid with the dog cute. What kind of dog was it some some lovely lovely? Yeah kind of the Labradoodle now is a cute short hair the tiny dog. No not timing. It was a white guy. It was a dog that would have that would have done some serious and you know, Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec is a real man's man. And he says at one point he goes he goes a dog that's under 50 pounds is a cat and cats are useless. I disagree. I love cats like dogs to guess what people you can like both. Yep. You can't be a pet. Mom. No, boom. Okay. So Paula policy one of our patient says I'm a hard-ass with little sympathy. My wife is a softer touch this guy from the 50s to she's a soft touch. Yeah. It's mostly a good balance that does sound like a good balance. I think you need that. I think you need a little bit of yeah, you need come back up back here and sometimes the roles get reversed. You know what? The funny part about bad cop is is when you have someone on the other end being like, you know, what fuck you cop and you're just like, oh, you know the worst cop. Yeah. There's no legal system to back me up. There's no that's the thing if they click calls your it's all I got. That's all I got call your bluff. Yeah true. Yeah, so little charmer 80 goes back to the picking the battles think she says her husband makes a big fuss over every mess the kids will be playing nicely even dad comes in a starts going. Oh my God the mess so screaming the kids get himself set these she said she said this I want people to know I did not use this phrase. She did. She said nice one Buttmunch. Yep. Haven't heard that one a long time Buttmunch if they're amusing themselves. I leave the hell alone. Even if they make a mess we care that Cliff there being quiet playing nicely. Don't poke the bear shit. Yeah, let em play nice if they're if they're making pillow Mountain let him make pillow Mountain as long as they don't break anything or doing anything just with who gives a shit as long as it's not getting crowded at the top like Everest, right? Everybody gets a photo op filled with dead tourists. Yeah idiots. Well actually Climbing Everest to be unfortunately one of the pillow mountains they made actually a couple dead people a couple digitally that kid with the chickens attack. Yeah colorful hooker who I poke some fun at a couple weeks ago about about being a hooker. Actually. It's a Knitter or a crocheter. I don't know they use hooks got it. And she uses a colorful design early way very nicely did not mean to disparage her character her give her her parents. Yeah. She said her husband is gone for two weeks at a time and they are Polar Opposites, which makes it hard because she's leaning then when he gets back. That's it reacts to like the minor single thing where she kind of knows the drill like what you can what you can attack or not, like what you can do with or not and that caused the problem. And so that's kind of what I'm doing with my stay at home - my wife is kind of learned. There's some shit is minor that you can let go but now that I'm at home and I haven't done that in a while shit that maybe is kind of routine and generic Guess what gets me rankled you're not you're not actually letting more stuff go. I'm just not as in tune to you know, what their daily routines are and kind of what she is like going. What's a big deal and what's not I'm still learning right and I consider too many things a big deal. Got it. So Megan Megan Megan Megan done Megalodon Jensen Jason Statham, didn't you know, he listen to our podcast? Yeah. The Meg my view on dinner is we give them healthy meals and it's their choice to eat it. Dad says eat it now no matter what like he does not he's not giving them leeway. Whereas we're going to cover picky eating in a future episode, but that's tough because dinner is fraught. Yeah stress. I think you just need to know like hey if you're well, I mean, this is our My Philosophy is it's your food. This is taking a leave it take your leave. If you don't eat it. I don't like, you know, but if you come to me about snacks or hungry guess who doesn't give any shit. It's but Megalodon Jensen says her husband is like you better eat that shit. You know what right now came from like a place where like the military lot of food, you know, like Narnia just maybe everybody for their Turkish delight. I'm sure they have so gjr Scott 2002. I don't know if he ran for office back then but yeah congratulations are I'm sorry. I'm stricter. I have them more on my own. I try not to get in the way of the parenting child negotiation. That's interesting. So he says because he has them more on his own. He's more strict. Whereas a lot of other people say that they kind of are able to let the minor shit go because you go crazy if you're with them all the time and you're going down on them for everything which is what I'm learning being stay at home going to drive myself in them crazy. If every little thing I'm coming at him. Yeah, so we had a bunch of random stuff where there's it was it was Megalodon Jensen who said that a lot of it depends on who's more? Tired and ornery. Yeah, I mean it's kind of the worst little so that's it. I think the thing is is when you you know, there's both my wife and I would agree eating with your hands is stupid and just eat with a fork or utensil or whatever but there is something to that the tiredness or like a you know, what? Oh, you know, what happens is sometimes if a kid is acting out and I won't I won't have the context to it and I'll yeah, it's persons just being a straight dick. Love people like this person's tired when you know, yeah right tired to give him a break or something happen at school that you're not privy to but I'm but I'm also but then what happens is the flip side is the same exact thing will happen like a week or two later. Yeah, and then my wife whom rightly I mean in my mind will get but we will just go to the moon and then all of a sudden it's like wait what just happened because hypocrite not they don't sound so here's something Justin Justin Cunningham 12 says his wife worked with autistic kids. So she knows all like the professional techniques and what to do and he says it's frustrating for him because she teaches him when he's failing which must be like, how can that not feel condescending and emasculating right? You feel like your wife is like this is what you should be doing and you're doing it right here. She teaches the she teaches the dad when he's husband up like no use this technique. Not that one depending on the way. She does it it can be especially if you're mad hot pokers work for me because she says except for this arm. Goes she teaches me when I'm failing and I'm ready to blow a gasket and it's even worse when she what she does actually works because then I know I'm stupid and probably fucking my kids up which brings us to Dad guilt, which is what I get all the time when my wife tells me like you're picking too many battles, you're coming down on them too hard too often and I'm like God damn it. You're right. Like it's hard to stop yourself. Right and then you end up feeling like shit. You're always the bad the bad guy. Yeah. So get up Angelina says kind of the same thing. My husband follows my lead. He will come he will come up with ideas and options but only when When they've already like gotten to a specific situation they're talking about and he will he will come up with something specific. Otherwise, he kind of leaves it to her. I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like it should be a little bit more equal this we try to do it, but I'm certainly worse at it. I think at parenting than my wife is but I guess we won't really know for 30 years. Yeah, which way pays off. What we should do is I should handle one kid. She handle the other one is an experienced a control experiment will see which kid turns out better for me. I think the only thing I have is wrestling That's like my oh, you're like the fun rough housing. That's the only currency that I that's my only real purpose in the household. I have that the ability to when I have a yellow bow Hartley's that would take out a like a six-year-old but just like off their feet. It has taken this example office. Yeah, I'm sure or her but but then to have them get up and start laughing and then coming up charged at me and then for me to get him in a headlock now, I get my kit buddy know so well then you're talking about but here's the thing. That's what you mean. That's all I have. That's all I have. As a contributing parents all you can bring to the table. And so what I do is I tend to you also bring home. The bacon Peak don't sell yourself short. You know, what the honest Ricky bake bake? Yeah exactly that it might as well not great. Believe me, but it's better than no. It's not just that it's the phone is like don't even don't even mention that like, that's just like an RKO. No, you can't say that. You don't think what I do at work. Yeah point is even do all day as a parent will I go to my relaxing office and enjoy myself? Obviously, but but the only thing I can do to threaten, there's also the only threat that will ever work is all right. Well, I guess we're not going to wrestle him. Yeah. Okay, hold on a second and then immediately for except in the line leg goes down for the short-term super shark. So the last thing I want to talk about is something that Candice is mouse brings up and it's when you and your spouse have different styles and those Styles maybe come into conflict. Yeah. Don't call your spouse out in front of the fucking kids. That's right. She says we've agreed not to correct each other in front of the kids. Otherwise at least two arguing. That's right. You feel you get defensive and insecure she said it's taken us a decade. I think she said they've been married for 12 years and they've had kids for nine, which is exactly mine timetable mom and buried Calls me out in front of the kids all the time. Now. A lot of that is probably a product of the fact that I fuck up and do the wrong thing all the time and she can no longer afford to be like, let's wait and talk about it after like yeah, and you're probably like what is the jacobi's in Myers number? Yeah. No shit. No, I guess it's harmful to the relationship. It's not good for the kids to see that. It's they can use that against you guys later. Not you guys born of the other. So just I've been many times have been called out for I will never call my wife. I've been hey give it a break. Like I'll never say this person's just as tired or whatever. Even if I've had the kids all day if there's something that's you know happening. I'll you know, just let the moment happen but I won't be like you're wrong. Yeah, you're saying the only thing that I'll call my wife out for is I have been called out Miss. Sometimes she swears a little bit too frequently in front of the kids. Sometimes. I'll try. To nip that in the bud not that I care about swearing but you only need a toddler repeating that yeah, you know and toddlers are as we've discussed previously dumb as fucking rocks and they'll just copy what you say. Yeah exact right. Don't copy. Thank you. You're welcome, but they'll copy fuck you and fuck shit. And yeah, but Munch not only that but there's nothing ever sound like much now, they'll copyright it they will copyright it I was sitting right on this where now they get your fucking verified quicker than I got mine. Probably think we covered everything. I'm literally dying right now. I think yeah, I think our bodies are so I'm kind of excited to step on a scale tomorrow. Yeah, see what happened. I mean cool. I've lost a lot of moisture. That sounds good. I don't drink water is being a banana for just to let's put a little potassium. Yeah. Well, I'm not really but yeah, I think banana flavored things artificial. Banana flavoring is better than actual banana. You think grunts? Yeah, I can get on it tastes bad. I know that's annoying, but I'm going to say yes. It's an annoying that preference. Know that that that I would agree with you you're annoyed to agree with him. That's why we make such a good couple you go. All right. Listen before we actually do die. Why don't we say thank you very much to everybody. Who's listening. Okay. Thank you very much to everybody who's listening anything else. I should say then say the following thing. Okay. What? Okay, so thanks to our patrons again. Go to iTunes give us five stars. If you're gonna give us less than five stars justify it cowards. Why did you give us three we want to improve We want to be better. Yeah, but also just DM us and let us know y-yeah me anonymously and just be like look I liked it when you had a beard and you shaved it. So I'll give you fucking three as a big controversy on my Instagram. My wife doesn't like facial hair. It really wasn't so I just got it. Wow, you know what you're not even on Instagram so I know but I do know beard no beard. Really? Yeah. It was a vegan because that's what people been on social media in 2019 my God, have you been outside recently? I have it's ok, really tell her about as hot as in hearable is it is in here iTunes YouTube one of the comment on specific episodes temperature on anchor. Yeah. It's a were everywhere Facebook. Hit me up. All right, but don't tell me my wife's Instagram is better than mine. Hey, it's not true be you're breaking my heart man. We live in these modern times these modern times. All right. We'll catch you next week.
Have you ever been in the middle of disciplining your kid when your spouse comes over and immediately undercuts any shred of authoritah you might have? It might go something like this "Oh relax. The kids are just having fun. Kids, don't worry about it." That's it. That's all it takes. You're just standing there while kids continue to jump on the couch while eating ice cream. Parenting is hard and when you and your spouse disagree with how to do it you show weakness. And thats EXACTLY what these kids are probing for: weakness. Mike and Pete discuss. 