Hey everyone. We are so inspired doing this podcast every week having the opportunity to bring you all the valuable knowledge and advice that each and every guest provides means the world to us now because of how much positive feedback we've been receiving from our listeners. We've decided to build a community Through patreon members of patreon receive exclusive access to a chat Forum the ability to interact with our guests, which is so cool extra videos and podcasts episodes that will provide even more advice and knowledge join. Now by going to patreon.com backslash better together with Maria and let's be better together because when you know better you get better I'm on a journey to get better and I want to do it with you and I'm not just focusing on physical health. I'm focusing on everything emotional Wellness spirituality finances relationships and so much more every week. It will be my personal goal to bring us the world's leading healers experts and game-changers to share groundbreaking secrets and tips to getting better in all areas of life. Getting better isn't easy, but it's a whole lot easier when we can do it together. Gether, welcome to better together with me Maria Menounos. Happy Monday everybody. Hope you're doing well. Wherever in this beautiful world you are in because we have people from all over the world guys. We have international friends friends. And I guess how I got a buddy in Van Nuys. You listens, honey. Shut up guys. I invited Kevin into studio today. I don't know why because he's such a disruption every time but yes, my husband Keven undergaro isn't Studio. You've got scams bra. I mean stuffs her bra just even met you we had a fun weekend at the patreon event that we're going to chat about and our guest comes from there as well. But but first our quote of the day, we think happiness is a destination when it's actually a starting point it enables all the positive outcomes in our lives if we choose to do it first. Oh, that's interesting. That's by pasricha. Exactly. I saw that I thought I was worded in a way. I haven't heard before. Wow. That is really interesting. Yeah, we're going to be talking about depression today really interesting guys. I'm just going for it a good way. But in a good way, we interviewed Hannah Hart at the patreon event. If you don't know we have started a patreon for our show we want to Make the show ad free but we also want to expand the community and bring all of you together and give you more access and more great content. And so we've been doing it every week. Yeah, we've been doing extra episodes every single week for our patrons. We do after shows for every single podcast. So sometimes the interviews are like an hour and a half long and we know that we want to, you know, talk about a little bit but we go a little bit more in-depth every week after those and then we also have an extra episode. For our patrons as well. So you get two extra episodes every single week. Yeah, we get quite raw in that extra episode. So we hope you join us and support the show and if you want to become a member, you can go to patreon.com backslash better together with Maria, which those should be a link in the summary of this as well. So you can just click on that. But yeah, we interviewed Hannah Hart. I don't know if you guys are fans of Hannah's or no of Hannah. She's an Entertainer a food enthusiast. As she's a two-time New York Times bestselling author who or tied exactly. I actually laughed with Kevin. I was like, you know, I should be really proud that I missed the New York Times bestseller list for The cookbook. We would literally buy a few books. It was the craziest thing ever to have been so close, but I'm like for a cookbook and I'm not a chef and I literally almost made it. So I'm a two-time almost three times and here does this other day had to scrap our Airport? Restaurant plans. I know yeah, it was terrible. So she became famous with a YouTube series called My Drunk Kitchen. She's Co produced and starred in films and she has her own show on the Food Network or had her own show on the Food Network and she's a very influential voice in the lgbtq lgbtq community. Sorry. I'm having some problems with my voice today, and she was also named one of Hollywood reporter's new digital. Disruptors and want to Forbes 30 under 30. So I sat with her at the patreon assembly event this past weekend. We talked about creating content and the digital age and staying authentic and redefining success and handling depression and pressure. So we have that interview for you today. So I thought before we start we talked a little bit about depression and there was actually a video so every morning as you know, if you listen to the show, I listened to Esther Hicks and I might Veer off here or there but for the most part me and Esther were hanging out every morning when I get ready and she's telling me how to co-create my my world and my future and how to be the vortex and lately. I've not been in the vortex. Let's just be clear about this. I woke up this morning guttural crying on your shoulder honey. Yes, because Of the situation with my mom and you know, what's going on with her I realized. Oh my gosh. I haven't meditated since she got sick really or like at some point it went away because she took a turn thank you since she took a turn and I think that's a really big problem. So I meditated today and I did feel better after because it's so easy to get so tired in the fight and so tired in the Emotion of it and then trying to keep your life together at the same time. So meditating really helped me today, but I was saying it's really amazing watching you cope with all the pressure and things that you guys are dealing with right now, and it reminded me of this article that we read from Psychology today by Kristen Fuller and it talked about the difference between sadness and depression. Oh, I need to know this. Please tell me and I think you do a phenomenal job of talking out your emotions. Ends without labeling yourself as depressed because there are 3 in 2017. There's 300 million Americans are diagnosed with depression. And if you don't know the difference between the two you could be either not addressing or serious health issue that you have which is the mental illness of depression or you could just not understand what you're actually feeling and making it way worse. And I think that you identify you pinpoint your emotions instead of just saying I'm depressed which is so easy to do with what you're dealing with is really really phenomenal. Thanks. Well, it's funny when I went to my doctor last week. I think it was I had my you know, annual physical. He asked me like, how are you handling everything and I'd the Waterworks just started and he's like, do you think you're depressed and I'm like no. I'm like, I think I'm just sad and so it was interesting because he's like, well, you know, do you ever have feelings where you don't want to be here? And oh my God, I want to Through that and so, you know, he's trying to get to the is this human depressed as she needs medication because you feel like you need a little bit of help but I was like, oh, I feel you're sad. Yeah and you're very tired and I think it I hate to say it. I think of depression is going to come and we'll deal with it. But right now I think it's extreme fatigue and extreme sadness for a lot of things in your life. Hmm. Yeah, but I've never heard that before. Yeah, you know to have an article that really is distinguishing between sadness and depression. I think that's a really really smart thing. So what were the keys stuff so for our listeners and viewers sadness is a normal emotion that we all are going to feel many times in our life. It's just how we are humans and it's a triggered by a certain event or a bad experience and but it's an emotional state. That's the biggest difference. It's just a state and Dissipates and it changes with the next emotion that comes in the next experience that comes where as depression is an actual mental health disorder and it's an abnormal mental state of abnormal emotional state. So it affects how we think and feel about everything. So it's more than just being sad in a moment. It's being like you lose motivation for everything you are no longer happy in any situation. You're tired. You're fatigued. You don't want to do any of the things that used to really make You happy and you just learn lose your passion for life. So there's a big difference between the two. Yeah, Kevin. Why are you laughing if it's like kind of like you just described me? Yeah sure any that is not true because you love Christmas you love you tubing right you love stupid videos that it's a great people pranking people. We've got the Christmas 24/7 Channel on YouTube. That's fantastic. If you have any if you love Christmas as much as we do if you love The Spirit of the holidays, We extend that as long as possible my shows the six months of Christmas, but we also have a very 2000s Christmas where we salute Christmas in the 2000s. We also have a 90s Christmas and as and now what am I leaving out? We have organizer super organized in prison. So you write this plenty of reasons to not be depressed and Kevin. I don't know if you know, but we covered three Hallmark movies for the Christmas channel. Here we go. There we go. Just like that. We're gonna we're gonna have some watch alongs with some of the specials. It's a it's a very exciting job. It's my show to promote area. Exciting time, right? So for two months a year, I'm not depressed. Well, here's the thing though. By the way, we were laughing because we put up our Christmas trees this weekend saw it and it was so fun because like we put my mom on the couch and you know, she obligation her chemo. So she's really weak and I died, you know came in and sat with us and all the dogs and the dogs were all behaving and just like watching us put the tree up. It was so adorable and my stylist and friend Denise sent me. DM and it was like, you know, there are only seven Sundays left right before it's over and I was like already over it that depressed me because of depression that depress me was like we did you sad. No, here's the thing. I realized thank God we put up our Christmas tree on November 1st because imagine if we hadn't we would have had only six Sundays or five Sunday's look at goes so quick and people were like, you're putting your own actually Whitney Cummings DM me. She goes you put your Christmas tree up all I didn't I go. Yes, it goes to quickly. We need to extend the spirit of the holiday. And yeah, and I tree is about 20 years old almost and it's a little it's getting in sad shape, but it was like the Charlie Brown tree and we gave it lovely judge. Did we judged it? Yeah, we made it work. We made it work and you know for me the reason in all seriousness that I do I've put it up early since 2008 when the you know, we you guys were great oppression of our time the depression of our time. Yeah. No it was A really scary bad time as a bad time in our country where war and and I was just like, you know enough to get that tree of the day after Halloween and just so I can feel good and we kind of I think of consistently done it ever since and I especially now it's like so what if it makes you feel good to look at it. I know your mom she loved it. She didn't want one in Connecticut last year. And we member mere we went out like like, oh hell no, we're getting one and she has not stopped talking about that tree. Can't wait to go home just to put up the seed tree. Yeah. So it's just things like that. Like that's just a healthy way to kind of beat the blues. So why not, you know or or go drink and watch porn and do drugs or you know, my Bud Light while we put up the trailer. Well, that was nice and you debit glass of wine. Yep, but but yeah, so it was actually was a little bit of a for us. It's it's a way just a smile and be a little happy. Yeah, what does tie into the Esther Hicks conversation Chad which will have the link in the summary of this. Where she says acknowledge what feels satisfying and then the more and more than that you yeah you build on it and you're on the way. Yeah, it's kind of like my grateful exercise. So every night I'll say I'm grateful for the fact that we got to put up the tree and then my mom and dad were here and that the dogs are here and that you know, whatever it is you so and that's kind of the same thing as you're building on all the good things rather than focusing on the negative things. And so I really try hard to be in that place before we go into the s Texting more though. I want to finish the distinguishing factors between sadness and depression. Yeah and Kevin you are done with your plugs for every Christmas 24/7 we heard it described and you know, it's the program's weakly. Oh my God, it's Taco and then soon it's going to be daily. It's very exciting and the gold here's the Big Challenge. I think I can you mute him right now that even Child by let's get into the signs and symptoms of depression. I think this is important so that you guys Have a starting point and you can assess yourself because the only way that we know if we're feeling sadness or depression Kevin's tune effectively muted. Yes, so funny. Sorry Kev. So change in sleep either difficulty falling asleep or sleeping too much a decrease in energy or feeling fatigue daily change in appetite or weight gaining weight losing weight over eating eating a much less feeling feelings of guilt or worthlessness difficulty concentrating slow physical. Movements are unintentional purposeless movements that are noticeable by others recurrent thoughts of suicide. So but the good news is and you guys will we spoke on it a little you and Hannah Hart spoke on it. There are so many different ways to get help and oftentimes it's a mixture but I think identifying what you're feeling and one of your old past guests Amber Ray. She she was yeah she spoke about naming your emotions and I think that's a really great. Starting point of naming what you're feeling and then you can really get the help that you need because there's so much out there like when we have our EMDR expert on the show and we Reiki there's meditation yoga and there's so many different things that you can do. Yeah, we we are going to have an amazing EMDR special for you guys because I actually got to put a friend who was near suicidal severely depressed and was fit all of Those key markers and after one session with the MDR his life is completely changed and Maize and such a major way Hannah brought up in the interview that she had had a negative experience with with that. So it really you have to find the right person because they may bring you through the traumas and then kind of re-trigger you re-trigger you open wounds, but here's the thing that that's a big thing in. General that I find is we are a little lazy and sometimes we all just say. Oh, well, you know Stephanie told me this person was great. So I went and I trusted her you really have to do your research to know who you're going to across the board whether it's your mechanic your doctor your you know, whatever it is in your life. You have to do the research, you know, there are different You Know Better Business bureaus online and they Angie's List's and all these places where you can find. Down there where people are rated Yelp look into it yourself, and I also want if there's a follow-up protocol Maria. Because you know, I mean you're going to read it. You're going to go kind of get back in the ring. So to speak and you know reopen these wounds and it's going to be painful. Is there a follow-up? I mean a good credible one. I assume would say that but I think for your listeners a score find out you know, what do you do afterwards everything about you getting a major operation you go home and you you ice something or you you know, yeah you elevate whatever the case is. I feel like I and I also think in no disrespect stuff or Steven. I feel like your generation was born. Underneath you are just not resilient. You guys just can't take a punch. Now. I don't believe that of you Stephanie and actually don't believe that Stephen because I've been punching them for 10 years. So let me shake it. No. No, but you guys we see it with the people who work for us over it after both Stephanie and Steven and you know, the parents have helicoptered and and kind of kept kids so far away from pain, but they don't know how to deal with it that went. So when it comes that's what what it said to me Maria went in the Interview was that's the other thing that you have to understand is that person may have been good giving the treatment but we're and we're a society that just we can't we run from paint and you know and and our into the parents who did it wasn't your generation it was it was the generation of parents which like, oh, no, I don't want Johnny and Susie to have any pain. I want them with the most perfect lives and that's just completely unrealistic. So I think that also factors and I actually did research at with Time Magazine and NBC both news. had articles last year that talked about the increase in depression and how like skyrocketing suicide rates and depression rates and most of the younger you go the more prominent it is and time said the there one if they could point to one thing they were they said it is new technology and the fact that Leisure Time with young people is just spent, you know on the phone or on the computer or video games or whatever and you know, It just just again. I'm just throwing that out there. I think there's a lot of reasons is diet. And again, we're not diets massive. We're not resilient. And I also do think and when you dismiss its massive it catch it with these are all contributors, but the other I am the accumulation of sugar and just and Maria it's funny and I don't know how much we were Hearing in Esther Hicks interview before or the clip. Yes, you know with an interview with a treatment. She was giving somebody that one of her at one of our seminars And I think she was mentioning how the person was kind of actively seeking out bad things or maybe if I heard that from other interviews that she's had. She makes a she makes a point will have the link in the obviously in the notes for the show, but she makes a point to say that that like life is not supposed to be about seeking the problem and fixing it. It should be about, you know, just living the the act of fixing it as opposed to focusing on the problem. Yeah, right. So I wrote the notes actually on this part because I thought that was fascinating. So she said hello major finishes satisfaction comes from having a desire and moving towards it. She said the problem is we've been taught to sacrifice and to be and we've been taught that the way is sacrifice and service. So we pick a problem and we focus on it and we solve it and so she's saying that that's not the way to do things. We have a doctor Maria that's told us about why his philosophy his belief is that that's why autoimmune diseases happen is because people are so busy trying to find problems always seeking the problem. Obviously the problem obviously problem. So yeah that I have an immune disease. I'm constantly taking people's problems and try to solve them. And so I need to solve everybody's problems. I don't know stay with me on this because it does make sense. So what happens is the body is always looking for problems problems problems. So that's why the body of Acts itself. It starts looking for problems within the body that don't really exist my God. Yeah, so that was something I'd heard but getting back to the other part. And again, this is something uncomfortable that I'm going to say is I think having just been to Mexico in a very poor City and dealing with people who have cancer and her dying, you know, I feel like because we are an affluent society. We have it. So good here, ironically Millennials and gen Z That this is such a great country that we have so much free time that we are seeking the problems and we're looking more deeply we're looking more deeply in the mirror to go. Oh, there's something wrong with me or my parents did this all these terrible things to me and and I can't move on because of it whatever and I just I kind of think back to you know, you know your dad man when I drive around and he just when he can confine me, he's just he can't laughs he's like having fun. You know what? We went through easy, but we weren't think we didn't focus on that stuff. We just focused on having what fun we could and he's like, we literally didn't have food and where we didn't have to get shoes. We didn't have nothing. And so that's where the focus was. So our Focus. I think it's just easier for all of us to focus on the lack which has our lives are easier. Yeah. So again, I only offer that because maybe you can think in your own life ago. Hey, it may be like, I have it so good and you know that I have all this. Free time and I'm using it to either find problems in myself focus on problems in the world focus on what I don't have which is what Esther Hicks talks all about this time focusing on the lack and start manifesting what you want and and co-creating your the technique in the fall, you know the phones and that's why I think you know, we getting two solutions Forest bathing Getting Back To Nature getting away from the phones. But but listen I tell you any young people right now that that that Always self-help and enjoy, you know that field I'm like listen just from a business end couldn't be a better field to enter into because it is an epidemic it is not going away. It's only going to increase and I really think that we still don't have it right with our children the the chip that the like say k through 10. I still don't think we have it right? It's probably going to be another 10 years. I'm hoping where we know. Okay, we messed up here. We've kind of challenge these kids more we've got to reduce. Be in their lives. We have to let them skin their knees. I mean, you know, it's I'm hoping that you know, but I don't see it right now. We'll see if you think about this, right? We always talk about like if you're not growing you're dying, right and the only way to grow is through problems right problems are opportunity for growth because now you do have to kind of, you know, go through it. Even the word problem obstacles portals. We don't hoard all simply a port exactly what I was trying to remember that Stephanie. So so we don't have problems with poor. Also, so if you think about it, if we are continuously trying to avoid the portals for the people that we love we're not allowing them the opportunity of robbing them of their Journey. Absolutely. I also think that it's about a lot about accountability and it is in the older generation to we've glamorized this complete opulence and like celebrities and gossip and like really just being nasty to each other and focusing on like fur coats and nice cars and all this stuff and it's like how do you think that your kids are going to define success if that's what you're buying into so I do think it's a two-way street, but or it's still goes back to the parents. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well all goes back all the parents, you know have failed it wasn't you guys and maybe their parents failed them to I don't know listen No parent is going to ever have it right? Yeah. You can't it's impossible those. I think there is there's a lot of different aspects at play here and I think the the article stuff was talking about with sadness versus Is really interesting because I think there's more to it than that. I think there's a lot of different types of depression and we agree. We live in a world where there's a lot of different situations going on that cause various different types. So I don't feel like 90% are like 30 percent of people are depressed from the same reasons. Yeah, but I think there's various different types like for me. It's like the fear of living in a world where there's no their video games. I know no terrible. I'm kidding. Hey, there's no ground to pave within my skill set. There's no like the technology is where everything's going like so kids who aren't tech savvy now, like if they're not in a career that's in the tech. They're not going to be the first person to discover everything. They're not going to be the first person to discover anything and even if they do discover something it's now in the past. Nobody really cares about old discoveries at your belief Steven that that's what stresses you out. Well, what stresses me out? Is that like unfortunately for me like I have to get over is that nothing matters? Like I really kind of half. That's my that's my constant battle. It doesn't matter as much as we think. Yeah, it's like he we're never in we're not in a world where you can make a new discovery. Like nobody's nobody's gonna remember me for a hundred years after I'm gone. Like there's no more people like that. Yeah little sunflower soul is just screaming now. I think I think is all we don't remember his father. What do we think that important? But everything does Mater I think I find my most joy every day just in the day-to-day communication with their judgment. That's right. You know, you've got it right microtransactions and Stephen is a little bit of overthinking involved and you were a born on the same day. So every problem you have is officially now my problem every like deficiency is shared now because we're the same birthday Steven could say the same to you because I could say the same stuff to him. Steven I think that's tough. It is here's the good of it is that it's going to challenge you to be better, but that's where it needs to end. Yeah, you know, I mean like a challenge you to get up and try to do better but when you say but when you put in your vernacular that you can't discover something we've talked about this then you're not going to be able to so Steph is more likely right now out of the two of you and then you're far more tech savvy than her you are. No. I know. I'm just telling you. You're brilliant Stephen and yet and yet it's the steps of the world that will because she believes it's possible though. We what was that quote last week? Oh, I have it here. Oh my gosh. This was the greatest quote ever and I learned it at the church that we went to with my mom. He said being realistic has never helped anyone. So when they were building the car, someone said, what do you mean you're going to build a car that was going to be like 40 horses like why you know, that's not possible. Well the people who thought it was possible. Double made that car and so being realistic never helped anyone by the way it is so I'm more on team. I'm much more with Team stuff like it's possible my promised even where I'm like you is I get depressed when I can't make things big things possible and that's what I want to work on. This year is I do next year 20 is and by the way guys, this is the perfect time you will come to the end of the year. It's one of the great things is start thinking about what what's next year going to be? I mean, I have to have another other Kev New Year's. Yeah. Well this time we're going to do all episode on I want to do a whole episode before the end of the year on life audits. I want everyone to do a life. I brought it to great. Yeah, so I'll have to book you but just to co what you're saying you have those is I'm just I was speaking more in generalities though in that like you we set these expectations for ourselves, right? And as Esther Hicks was talking about purpose. And what's your purpose? Is it sacrifice? Yourself for a discovery. Is it sacrificing yourself for your own personal joy, and we're raising a generation of people who are in a situation where every single thing that they're exposed to is negative those salts not everything but a lot but you mother the news it's like the world's gonna end in 40 years. Nothing we can do about it this point and and you're taking the belief that they could do something out about it away from them through that like I think that we're on a very interesting path of Destruction versus development and you know, they're both developing at a certain rate and I'm really hoping and I really think that like science is developing at a rate to battle whatever destruction were facing but you don't see that in every day pop culture. Like if you have been wanting you find it and bring it to the show we can give it to people there's so much scientific development over the past six months. It's recent bring it baby. All right, but we found that Instagram account. What was it yesterday Kev? I think it was the good news the good news or whatever like by the way, this is why I don't watch you know how we found it. Hold on. Why this is why I don't watch the news anymore because I don't want to pollute my heart my brain my soul with any more negativity because also having been in the media. I know that the way we're programming is specifically for readings and unfortunately the human consciousness right now wants that negativity. They're celebrating, you know, vile people for the most part like there's a narcissism that's reflected back and forth and And so I want nothing to do with narcissism is so big in our our culture in this country that were attracted to those people because we're individually long so narcissistic ourselves. It's just terrible. But yeah, we are more much more attractive. If it is overwhelming you you start to think of the things that you can peel away like I did I started peeling away all of those things so that I could live in my happy Utopia as much as possible and it doesn't mean that you are turning a blind eye. Because I do keep up to a degree through Twitter on the major happenings, but right now I know that I am on a path that I need to be on and I need to stay in that that zone to get there to be able to effect for any kind of change. I think everyone's different. I think if you can't be effective with certain information then don't yeah stay away because I was that person my whole life. I was addicted to the news and now I'm like completely allergic and you can't follow your purpose if you're like that. So I think everyone has a small purpose if your purpose is to save to help women's rights or to help Being Human Rights and you do have to take a little bit of the punches in that if it's for healthier taking punches. A lot of people don't want to learn about no one wants to learn about the into the mind and the brain and how tumors grow in it. So, I think it's different for everyone has to take a look. So with Judith orloff our episode with her learning about my empathic ways. I realized Yes. No, I can't take on that information. It's just too much from for me right now and maybe forever. I don't know Steve and I know you were going to say something. No, I think it was Kevin was going to say something you think micro, you know stick with your microtransactions and you know, yeah, you life's going to be hard enough. There's gonna be enough obstacles and challenges in your life. You don't need to go find more and yeah with with the news and remember in the back is it's already been said here. Remember the news that they're putting out. They know that they get more clicks and they get higher ratings by putting Our dark stuff so you can't you have to kind of take it all with great insight and usually like to follow. Yes, and then whenever following the people that you know, if you if you're telling me about depression, you know, and as you kind of take away all these little stressors in your life to reduce it until you get I hour jever one to get to the core and get to your subconscious because that's where it's all going to come from. But in the meantime these things that you can take away and reduce and if you are listen, I was listening to a lot It really dark people they were really freaking funny but so dark and I'm like, you know what this is not good. This is not good. This is bleeding into my world. So interesting out you go and and in the same with the news listen, we all have enough common sense to know that if there's a Hitler that takes over our country and is like I have more faith in everyone that when the time will come to Gold out in the streets and go no, we're not having it. We'll all we really all know when other than that all the hate tweets and the crap back all the stuff that is definitely people have put noise of people putting out in that we're all taking in. You don't need to really don't it's not going to make a difference. It really isn't so micro transactions in your day-to-day with your coworkers. I always say even the people that make you your coffee every day the ones that try hard even the ones that you know are down. It's because you don't know what their lives are hard their lives aren't if you can give him a dollar an extra $2.00 for a tip like those little things. I don't know. It's all you can do focus on the micro differences as opposed to the make macro stuff that you don't even have control over anyway, and you don't even know if it's I always say this to truths. So there's the Dark Truth because we know that get you clicks and ratings, but we're not going to hear the positive truth. So and build off satisfactory moments, right? Yes. That's Laster heck said, yes. Alright guys gonna fry them and build with them. All right guys, we have to get to our Hannah interview great discussion by the way everybody. Thank you for that. So without further Ado here is my chat with Hannah Hart. Hey everyone, it's Steph. If you're listening to this podcast, you probably thought once or twice. Hey, I think I want to make a podcast to and I have great news for you guys. I want to tell you about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast for a few reasons first and foremost. It's free. They have a bunch of tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or your computer. They distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and so much more You can make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the free anchor app or go to incurred on FM to get started. Hi everybody. Have you guys been having a good time at patreon assembly? Have a has everyone been starting their segments with trying to generate some sort of feedback from you guys. Yeah. Okay. I promise. This is the last time we'll address you directly. Am I will pretend were alone. Yeah. Okay. Okay attempted a good to see you again man. Good to see you too. We first met the internet was new. I know this is very true. And now you have conquered and been so successful in this space. Is this something you always knew you wanted to do well for me? You know, that's a great question because if I think most honestly yes, obviously working in entertainment working as a public figure would always have been something I wanted to do was I ever brave enough to do it? No, I wasn't a theater kid when I was little I thought the theater kids seem so cool. I was like, oh man, look at them going out there. Just singing. During lunch for no reason at all distracting but no truly I yeah, I just didn't ever seem practical to me. It never seemed like I could have the chance to make art and be a responsible person. You know, I always felt like I had to choose between the two so when the idea of beginning this business on the internet started back in March of 2011, there was no idea of a YouTube Star when I got started I didn't And I was going to make money and that was really freeing. You know, what because you were doing it for the right reasons. I was doing it because I thought maybe I could sell a book. I thought you know that the time in 2011. They were publishing a lot of blog to book things. It was like the blog to book Trend there was even I remember a section at bookstores that said blog to book and I was like block to book. What about online video to book because even in 2011 there wasn't the term Vlog which by the way, I don't know what Vlog means. Do you know video blog video blog but they're not always a diary. Yeah, I mean think about it guys we should do a YouTube dictionary. No, I definitely not me Jesse. Yeah. No, I mean I you know, it's funny because I recently went on a book tour around the country and for my third book My Drunk Kitchen holidays. Oh, which this actually I'm going to take a brief aside. Thoroughly that feeling of not remembering what's happened and what to celebrate or what you've done or what you've accomplished because everything is moved by so fast. That's literally what I wrote my third book about so we were just chatting backstage because I was explaining to her how I don't remember a lot of things like really big things like going to a private Prince concert. You are an angel. Thank you. Cheers. To our interview cheers to you. So saying I can't remember anything but that's because when you're doing as many things as we're doing life moves so fast, you know, you're never in the moment. You never have a chance to like soak in what you just did doesn't matter what it was it even like I'm a New York Times bestseller list and we kind of crashed our car and a little McDonald's line. We're so excited and then I had to go interview somebody 4E like a second later. So it was like moment was gone. It's like yeah, we did it. Okay shit. To go and so you understand that feeling because you just experienced it again. Yeah, I mean literally that I think in a lot of ways is when you work in the entertainment you kind of work at like it's like entertainment and politics are the titrated versions of our culture and when you work in an attainment, it's like oh good. We got that next thing. Okay. What's next? What's my job? Okay, no time to celebrate no time to think about it and It's a wonderful and terrible quality of the industry because it really shows you that it's not. for you It's not about you and a lot of ways in entertainment and like with patreon. You're contributing to someone's idea that they have of how they could be worthwhile about they could have a purpose of how they can feel like they're contributing something. So when you participate in that you're contributing to their contribution. And I kind of think there's nothing more beautiful than that, you know as a way of feeling present by giving a little belief in to somebody else and that in a lot of ways slows you down. Mhm. Yeah, and it's not bad to be slow down. You know through I mean like honestly guys Marie and I we like went there like one minute ago before we walked out onstage and now we're both trying to recover. I know I wonder at this point in your life. What does success mean to you? I don't know man, you know, like I really wish that. You know, I feel like I'm on the other side of that kind of like faith and belief that people have given to me. I was fortunate enough to get my start online. Like I said before there was a concept of the YouTube Star. I was fortunate enough to get the chance to Pioneers something to be at the start of something and all my God that felt amazing. How am I ever going to feel that way again? You know and right now I'm in maintenance mode. I'm in well, what is this career look like for someone who has a had success a started the foundation of what it means to be a digital star be had success as a traditional star. And now I'm out here with the big boys. And there are a lot bigger than me. So I'm thinking graduate school. Like maybe I'll just and he'll just get a casual Masters. I feel like I read that somewhere below. You may be joking about a potentially somewhere else. Yeah. Well, I'm curious though, like for the people that are here in attendance today, like what is What's relevant to your concerns? Are you guys looking for motivation? Are you looking for cultivation? Like what is the patreon assembly group? Say bye want to speak out. It's a whistle. Oh, apparently Maria. They're just here for a good time. Well that we can do success to me means freedom. It means being able to do my own thing on my own terms what you're doing, but you said something earlier that was interesting and it's like you're maintaining because once you make it it's harder to stay there right? Do you feel that pressure? Of like how am I going to keep this in build from here? I do I really do so I just published my third book My Drunk Kitchen holidays, which was thank you. Whoo. Yes. It's excellent under 1000 people have bought a copy. So you guys should definitely go get a copy. It's really good though. It's very Niche super Niche if you're queer and forced to celebrate things you'll really love it or if you're a liar. And forced to celebrate things to really love it. We have such a strange culture because it's all about productivity and like what you're contributing and like being a part of like something bigger and then also just total vulnerability and relaxation into the holidays. Like I wanted to write about the holidays because so my dad's a Jehovah's Witness. No birthdays birthdays. No birthdays. Wow, a double digits, but the rough year for me. You guys remember double digits? When was the last time you thought about the phrase double digits, but when you're nine turning 10, it's a big deal and it's a one and a zero. I loved those numbers. But anyway, so holidays were complicated because my dad was a Jehovah's Witness. So it's like no birthdays. No Christmas. No Halloween. So whatever happens happens and that really affected my ability to celebrate and then I find myself welcome into this life where I have so many Reasons to be celebrating but no real idea of how and that's what I've been learning and that's why I wanted to write My Drunk Kitchen holidays how to save her and celebrate the year available everywhere in book stores now. So yeah, how are you learning to celebrate? What am I like when I celebrate very stressed out. But how are you learning to celebrate? Like are you one day I just try to like do something and give yourself that moment to I find myself to be very combative. Honestly, like for instance my beloved fiance right there Ella. She surprised me with a flight right after this to the Bay Area. Yeah to see my friends and family fun. Yeah, but I've been on the road for like two weeks. I think she just wanted to stay home. However, so at first I was like, oh my God, but now I'm very happy and excited about it. So that's how you learn to celebrate. You gotta roll with the punches man. Okay, I mean I mean you just had a brain tumor, you know, like every day is a celebration. This is true has that affected your relationship with celebration or like presence or like that feeling of Switched everything? That's why I'm doing my podcast. It's called better together. And because I think we're better together and it's my journey to find healers and and people who are going to help us in all areas of life be better because you know, there's always something out there that we haven't learned about whether it's EMDR or Spiritual healing or anything like that. And so I paused completely I completely changed my entire life. I stopped the mad rush of doing a thousand things at once. I walk out to my garage on a Monday. I do my podcast and I'm helping myself along the way and so yeah, I'm super everything's really changed since then. Thank God had a bit different and it's something to adjust to have you been doing like Reiki and like Like everything I have guys. I have the best of the best in from the whole like from everywhere on the show every Monday like Liberty one day, you will learn something that you can apply to your to your life. Like we joke on the show every Monday. I'm like, okay. What have we been applying? Like, well, I'm tongue scraping now because of Sahara Rose, I'm tongue scraping. I'm oil pulling. I'm mono mealing I am you know, what meditating mono mealing was that man will like first of all, it's really hard our digestive systems were too. Seeing them so much like if you think bloating and you know irregular stool is a normal thing. I'm here to tell you. It's not come on dude. Yes. So if you simplify what you eat your body doesn't have to work as hard to digest but if I simplify what I eat my brain has to work harder to be happy. Well when you get a little older Hannah things will start to change my pretty I mean, you look like what 28? Okay, not officially, but we can go with that. But like seriously your body changes and you need to start taking care of it because you beat it up in your twenties and thirties and then as you get a little older she gets real. Are you done with your 30s? I'm 41. You look amazing. Thank you. What do you do you sleep in a bed of milk? No, but uh, but what sleep on my back now because of neck issues and it's definitely helping with the wrinkle situation stuff. But that's do the Sleep Number asleep know like the bed. That's like a Sleep Number. I want to just I just want to know what your 40s are like, you know, I'm helping myself, you know, I thought like I really did I thought that that was what happened when you turn 40 is that shit changed and all of a sudden went from a flat stomach to looking six months pregnant every time I met at 25 but happen to be at 25 stop. No for real though. Did you do Sports as a kid? Yeah, but slates. What you do? To fix that no, no exports. Yeah. I played basketball. I was terrible but I really tried hard. So a lot of intramural kind of things I wasn't really coordinated an awesome, but I tried really hard and I used my big ass for good like checking and hitting I played hockey while I play basketball. Yeah. I love that. This is a Maria Menounos podcast. I want to hear I'm so ready. We're recording for your podcast right now, right? We are ya. Oh, man. Yeah. Hey podcast listeners. I was laughing with Hannah backstage I go I'd ask you to be on my show, but you're kind of going to be on it because we're doing a twofer right now. Love it. Um, so let's get back to you. I want to know throughout this journey. Obviously you had so much success, but was there a down moment or a moment where you kind of wanted to give up? And what did you do in that moment. I mean, I guess you have to think of what you mean by give up give up everything. I mean give up doing what you were doing. Did you ever get disheartened change directions want to change directions? I mean because that's kind of the thing right like like if you're telling yourself That you need to stop. I think it means that what you do you love it's just not loving you back. If you tell yourself, you need to change directions. It means that you don't like what you're doing. Mhm. So did you always love what you were doing? Yeah, I do. I love what I do, which I think makes it really hard because real love as you know being in a committed marriage to a Scorpio turns out we talked about that earlier so fed. Tell him what you told me backstage. I will tell everyone right now as she said I'm a Gemini my husband Scorpio and I said, wow, he must have to work so hard. And then she said I don't tell him. Yeah, she said but yeah, no, I love what I do. And I think that makes it really hard because at least when you're not in love with your work or like It's hard because I'm someone with chronic depression like I got major depressive disorder bordering on severe and it sucks because I'm also someone lucky enough to get to pursue my hopes and dreams and make money from that and be respected and loved right and celebrated. Right? And so I think that I it's almost like I want to restructure my life so that my misery feels Justified because it's too hard to admit that even though I have everything I've ever wanted. There is still just like a deeper sadness, but that's the mind and the mind lies and you're in a constant dance with that all day every day. So we socially focused a lot on the things that we have in our hands and things that we look at change careers don't can't change careers change Partners don't change Partners be single be alone. Go explore the world etcetera, etc, etc. None of it really matters as long none of it matters, unless you understand why you're making Choice like the deeper connective reason like if you're going to go can I swear on your podcast? I'm going to say skip off. Fudge off flick off if you're going to go if you want to drop everything and go be like, I'm a farmer or I'm gonna go rebuild houses somewhere. If you know exactly why you want to go do that then go do it if you don't know why. Maybe take a minute. Yeah, you know what? I mean, and I feel like we're never encouraged to pause. Ever have you ever posed do I pause? Have you ever pause depositing right now? Okay. This is my pause. Okay, because I'm really just processing my own thoughts. Can I ask you a question about what you just said? Yes. Where do you think your depression comes from? Well two-fold fivefold one. genetics within that three other tiers of factors two Situation like I think that there's a lot of forms of depression like for me I both them chemically predisposed but then also circumstantially predisposed traumas traumas Etc, you know, and it's amazing because some of the most successful people I have ever met are so deeply depressed. And if such a gift in a lot of ways because because it's like the only thing that feels happy is like real happiness. and like I'm so glad chick. Yeah, so you get to feel true authentic happiness when you feel it. Yes and That is the only time I feel happy. Like there is no casual Joy. Hmm and because of that it makes you chase like a deep level of contentment and I feel really lucky for that. It's like having this really hyper aware internal compass that your life has to have meaning. So does he analyzed this help your depression? No, Cod Analyze This is the best. So my podcast Analyze This the self-help podcast that just can't help itself is all about exploring the tedium of maintaining your mental health. I would say a hundred times out of 10. I've got this shit on lock but then sometimes you know, I have to be me in the moment that I'm in. Mhm. And so analyze this is great. I really am going to focus on my podcast this upcoming year because we have both Business Financial mental and physical health advice, but in not in a preachy braggy way, like basically every person every expert that comes on our show is like well, I'm fucking miserable and I'm like, okay. Good. Good good, but your book is a good like yeah. No, it's helped a lot of people and that's what I've really found to be the case. But you know, it's the truth. It's the truth. That's a thing that people never it's so funny and I've been wanting to talk about this forever. So all the spiritual gurus all the all of these people that you think have it together and they put on the facade on the stage here and it's like amazing. Oh my God, and you're so inspired and it's great take the inspiration. And wherever you can get it, but just know when they walk back there the like fuck that's go here and there also stressed because there are trying to keep up to and no one's perfect and no one has it down. Perfect. It's more like there are people that are willing to display what their best is at your job. You don't have to go in and say this is the core of my being But when you work in the field that I work in every day is a reflection of all of my beliefs every conversation is a reflection of everything I've done and it's debilitating but also like the most constant like validity accountability check, but it is exhausting but I'm also really grateful for it because I think that it's led me to be really conscious in mindful of everything that I have. You know, I if you had told me at 20 or 19 or 18 You told me anytime before 24 that I would be a queer icon that I would be an lgbtq+ public figure Advocate role model that I would get to go to the White House. and to the during the Obama Administration I would have been like why me. Because I was so reluctant to take on that mantle. Hmm. But when I took on that mantle I took it on with all of my brain and all of my heart and all of my spirit I was like, okay. It's gonna be me then. I got a lot to learn. Aah, let's talk about queer identity everybody and I guess it just does matter. You know hmm. Yeah and you lead with authenticity, which is something that's really hard for people has there ever been something that you've shared that you were nervous you shared or is there anything you do hold back? Oh tons. Yeah, yep. I've got like three videos all about getting married how I know the person is the person I want to marry and processing my dad not coming to my wedding because I'm gay, you know, and it's a real cognitive dissonance to be like the poster child for lgbtq plus advocacy and to have a father that won't go to your wedding. I mean, they won't even look at my fiance. It sucks. So I've got like again is and thoughts on that. You know what I mean? I get it like a different way though. But like I haven't posted those yet. So like in the question Heather in the holding there on the Shelf. Yeah, and if there's something I feel like I've come to terms with I will share them, but I never want to use my audience to validate. A feeling that isn't fully formed. Mmm. Like I think that's the real danger of being an online Creator is that you can so easily drown out your own voice. It's a great great note to leave on oh, yeah. Oh leave. Okay. We're getting the rap. I make sure you follow your dreams. Okay? Yes before you go. I have to say one thing for everyone who's listening and for you actually so I recently did an interview hasn't aired yet, but it will be in the coming weeks with an EMD our expert and I took a friend who was basically suicidal this last week and set up a session. With her and he was literally pulled from the depths of darkness in one session over FaceTime. So I highly recommend EMDR highly recommend it for ya. Have you done it yet? Yeah, but you know, you got to be careful with the MDR for those of you that work in the mental health spaces because it can also be re-traumatizing for people if it's not done correctly. It's like kind of like doing like anesthesiology, you know, you really want. You know what you're doing Kim so back. Like I said, I always have the best ones on my okay the best of the best better together with Maria Menounos, she will be on soon and she is the best and I will connect you with her and I think she will I mean, I don't what I saw she did was just so unbelievable Vic. So I want to thank you guys. I know we were kind of just chit-chatting but that was kind of fun. It was the best we have any time for questions or we're out we're out got it. Well, thank you so much Peter Amazon. Hey everybody Steven here from the booth. Sorry to interrupt for a second. I have to tell you about Spotify on Spotify. You can listen to all your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify has a huge catalogue of podcasts on every topic including Better Together, which I'm hoping you're listening to right now on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes to listen to offline wherever you are and you can easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. Remember Marie always says to be nice people make good choices and be present and one of the things you can do presently. Is make a good choice to go download the Spotify app and search for Better Together. You can browse other podcasts in the your library Tab and you can make sure to follow us here. So you don't miss an episode of Better Together. Alright guys, that is a shorter interview than we normally do. But but we were at a patreon assembly. Yeah. You also have that. He also had a guest in me today. Yes. I know we kind of did actually and we'd like to thank you for your contribution today, but let's ask everyone. Did we learn from Hannah today? I learned of a different way to combat depression. I liked I liked that it can be a motivational tool as opposed to just a thing. That's there that is constantly eating away at your Consciousness. Okay, so I thought that was an interesting thing on it. I like that. She's just creating what she wants in the world and staying really authentic to herself. Like I think it seems like from what she was saying to you is she's the type of person that's constantly checking in on if this project is worth it, which is what you do as well. Everything is totally branded to her as what yours is now with your life. Yeah. I love that. I think that's important and being honest. I think she's I like that she's trying to do good. But what my takeaway was she was talking about a lot of the influencers or experts to come on their her show and then office great advice, but then afterwards the mic goes off and they're completely miserable or upset or depressed themselves, and I'm so glad you're bringing this up because I feel like I was too extreme with how I answer that as well. Right? Is this not everybody but the truth is yeah most not everybody has it perfect all the time. We only know Maria of all of the people you've brought around me intimately. I only know one that is is what he off the mic when he is on the mic meaning like he's at peace, but what I've realized it's not about Chris. It's not that those people are hypocrites or there but it's they're going through those problems and actively seeking the Oceans and those Solutions are the valuable lessons that they're able to share with us. Yep. So it doesn't mean that it doesn't you don't diminish any their lessons their lessons very valuable, but it's their struggles that have got them those lessons and their continued struggles that will probably get them to new breakthrough so that I got that I from the love that and I wholeheartedly agree and I wish I was as good as you at explaining things like you're such a good teacher like I can A little extreme sometimes when I'm saying something and I feel like you're so much better at kind of like Gathering it and then you know processing is my New Year's resolution. I have the luxury because I before I met you Maria, I was you I was in the I was like out and about and the friends I had who were kind of my Sidekicks or that, you know, they were quietly behind me kind of facilitating things. They were able to observe and then compute everything accurately. And clean like my friend Rick Beach would be and I would like oh my God Rick, how could you put but I realized because I have the luxury of sitting back and observing you're on stage. You're in the game playing so when you're like a coach and you're watching from the sidelines at you or your even above the field and looking down. Yeah, you see everything so that's why you resent myself and I say, yeah, everybody know not everybody who you know is in self-help or whatever, you know goes off stage in his life. Crazed but the truth is that you know, a lot of people, you know, they're all just people yeah, whether they're self-help gurus or like Gabby Bernstein. That's why I love terms so refreshing because she was like here I am self-help, you know, New York Times bestselling like access to the best super amazing spiritual leader, whatever and she was depressed and she was being so honest about it. I think that's so helpful to all of us and I'm the same way. I I feel like I'm constantly learning and Gathering because I'm so excited to apply it to my life and then to be able to share it and if I'm ever extreme with my words, which does happen, sometimes we're like, oh everybody this or or yeah, I really want to work on that. This this is going to be my New Year's resolution is to try to change my extreme language because it's not true. It's not true in it can be damaging. Yeah to you personally. So even it went after those what we coach the kids. I used to say listen outside there in Hollywood. It's vicious. It's cruel. Whatever. I don't like what I say is, you know, it can't be can be you know, they can be people out there that are harmful or whatever and so I want to prepare you for that. So yeah and by lessening they say it's scientifically proven by changing your words. You'll change a reality. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I know. I believe that some weight. We ADI and 20 times in the meantime. Thank you guys for For listening and watching Better Together We love doing the show and we hope you are loving it as well. If you are, please help us by rating commenting subscribing and apple podcast and Spotify. Are we seriously put a Christmas music on right now. Let me finish my show. No, let me finish. We really love hearing your comments and reading your comments. And so thank you for that if you love a show, please. Share it with a friend. I always say the best way to give back is to share the information that's helping you in your life. So if this is helping you share it with a friend or a couple bring them into the community and into our little Posse new episodes drop every Monday. If you want to reach us, you can find us at better together with Maria at gmail.com, or you can visit Maria Menounos.com. Like we said earlier in the show. We launched a patreon that includes exclusive episodes and access To find out more go to patreon.com backslash join backslash Maria Menounos Stevens, totally having fun in the booth right now with this music, but the patreon link will be in the notes of this as well. Do I get to do Patron? And in the meantime, Kevin has a final thought he wanted to share about our show. Yes it is. So we were talking Steph in a pee my pants feel it designed the studio to be able to be decorated seasonally and I know sancta Maria and I'd like to ask the fans. You should we should we be decorating this for the holidays right now. We've got all the lemons and we've got all the Christmas ornaments along. Well that's was designed for you do ornaments garland. The kids a great idea calves. Well, I'm asking the fans. Oh, yeah, not me. But because I fear us know when you leave us a review. Yeah. I do hear a little bit of just snarkiness thing. I find Kevin. No, I'm all about ornaments. Are you kidding me? It's not going to be one of my daily tasks. I'm not to dream job ornaments. It's just even do you have a vote? I'll bah humbug. I'm skeptical of Step statement. He's bah humbug angrier it also will I be invited to be on the patreon podcasts you are and in fact, I was just about to invite you honey. So before we go, please give them Mercy listen to Kevin's 24/7 Christmas 24/7 podcast. No, it's not. It's not even a was you see how much? Respect you have for my life. The channel on YouTube is the Christmas 24/7 so confused and my podcast is the six months of Christmas. Thank you, very little so you search the six months of Christmas on Apple podcast. Yes, you can find the show there or you can go to YouTube. Is it the six months of Christmas or six months of Christmas those six months of Christmas? Okay, I think so. Yeah this time see you don't even know. This is the problem by the way, it's so I was going to help him Instagram this weekend, uh Christmas 24, he didn't even know. So repeat that Steven, sorry. What can you repeat it? It's the Christmas 24/7 Channel AfterBuzz TV the Christmas 24/7 and it is six months of Christmas podcast and our new Instagram account. If you want to feel good is the Christmas 24/7 and that is how I found feel good news, because once I subscribe to that Instagram suggest found all these like really nice things to look at I like that positive stuff, you know. All right. Well, You guys for all of your contributions, especially to you honey. We have a 20-minute time. You can follow us at the Christmas 24/7 so you could be the 26 camping his Instagram by the way, FYI, if you go to it and you're not as excited, we enlisted Ashley Grace Daniels former producer here to assist us because it needed a little judging and so we are doing that. That's how much I love you. Honey is I came in with swooping adjustments and changes and thoughts you're invited. To our aftershow cuff. Yes, that's one thing. All right in the meantime follow us at Maria Menounos at heart. Oh, yes haart. Oh, yes at undergaro at stuff Saburo at Steven Lim you photo and remember be nice people make good choices and be present.
Hannah Hart is an entertainer, food enthusiast, and a two-time New York Times Bestselling author. On today’s episode, Maria and Hannah connect live at the Patreon Assembly to talk about staying authentic, excelling in the digital world, working through depression and pressure and defining success on our own terms. Since creating the YouTube series “My Drunk Kitchen”, Hart has co-produced and starred in multiple films as well as hosted her own show on the Food Network, (I Hart Food). In 2018, Hart launched "Hannahlyze This," the self help podcast that just can’t help itself. Hart’s consistent authenticity in her content has established her as one of the most influential voices in the LGBTQ community, as well as gained her recognition as one of Hollywood Reporters New Digital Disruptors, and one of Forbes’ 30 Under 30. I sat down with her at the Patreon Assembly event this past weekend and we talked about creating content in the digital age, staying authentic, redefining success and handling depression and pressure. Links: https://hannahhart.com/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201910/the-difference-between-sadness-and-depression https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-5rECKr0RI  ---   This episode is sponsored by  · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. 