This is Empire school and I'm your host Lauren Tecna. And if you've been looking for a book us what by you're going to get actionable steps and strategies that you can Implement immediately to see results in both your life your business and your relationships. Then you are in the right place. So if you've not done so already then be sure to hit that subscribe whether you're listening to this on an iPhone on the The podcast app that comes automatically downloaded whether you're listening to this on Spotify perhaps you're listening on Stitcher or anywhere else that what ghosts are available then just hit that subscribe because then you'll be sure to be the very first to know about new episodes are coming and I am telling you right now some of the guys that we have coming up are absolutely unbelievable. And I've also pre recorded dozens of solo costs that I upload every Single Thursday, so we're uploading every Monday and every Thursday and that's what you're going to be finding here. Now for anyone who specifically wants to take all of their knowledge all of that expertise and everything that they've learned in one particular area perhaps it's in how to lose that or perhaps it's in how to have a healthy relationship or whatever. It happens to be if that's you and you want to turn that into a profitable and rewarding online business. This then make sure that you watch this brand new workshop that I created and just go to new online coach.com forward slash workshop and sign up on watch it right now. Now I am going to be updating it again very very soon. So it's very it's going to be the very best thing for you to watch it right now and then watch it again in a couple of weeks because it's going to be brand new. So with that said it was new now, it's going to be new again always making improvements always learning always growing and that's what Going to be talking all about today with my guest Jordin Paris. So with that said, let's sit back. Let's get this interview kicking with myself Lauren Tecna and with Jordan Paris. And by the way, we're both big on LinkedIn. So be sure to follow us both that we're going to be talking all about how you can create a growth mindset for yourself because there are so many incredible things that happen to you when you're able to have a growth mindset. Now, this is something I'm very passionate about because I used to be one of these people who is set in their ways. I had an idea of how I wanted my life to be I wanted to go to school to then go to university to then go get a really good job and then climb my way up the corporate ladder and anyone who did anything different, you know, let's say someone who rented a house instead of buying a house used to be like why the heck are they doing that? I used to have the mindset whereby if someone was going against the grain. I thought that they were weird and I judge them for it. And it was really interesting because it was a time in my life when I was the most insecure and so ever since then I've been actively pursuing personal development. I've been actively just trying to better myself in so many different ways and that all comes down to having this growth mindset. So you can find Jordan on LinkedIn he is crushing the game on LinkedIn and you know that I'm obsessed with LinkedIn to I have a couple podcast episodes about LinkedIn. So make sure to go check them out after this one and then you can an also go listen to his podcast which is a growth mindset University. So Jordan welcome to in fact school. How are you doing Lauren? It's such a pleasure to be with you here in New York City. It's been a long time coming. Tell them the story. I know we don't tell them the story record an episode of growth mindset University, but we're going to pretend like we didn't so when it was a year ago, July 10th of 2018. Actually I live in Rewind it even more. Okay, I was on anchor has on anchor we both hosted our podcast there. I don't hosted there anymore. But I was trying to growth hack my podcast and I was looking up. I was just typing like letters like random letters and then favoriting everyone's podcast well and most of that by the way, they'd get a notification on their phone and they'd follow me back doesn't favorite me back and I've known about them as future be a little scrappy that way and but I just know I got the notification so Oh, like, you know not a really high percentage of them thought me back. But good amount did and I just I wonder how many of those early like listeners stuck with me better days, but one of those podcasts that I came across was Millennial are podcast, which is what it was called back then and that's when I was listening to it impossible used to have an old name. That's another story for another day. Yeah, so I you know, I heard this episode and reached out to you and I was real Fanboy, you know like big paragraphs and then you would reply couple lines or a line. Let me another big paragraph As just total family. I loved your podcast left a review thing and July July 10th of 2018 right now, July 10th of 2019. You had you'd friend request me on Facebook about a month before and you I think we'd come in and on each other's Lincoln stuff every now and yeah, but July 10th of 2019. You said ever happened to be in New York City and I'm like deaf. Time I'm come around I'm gonna go crazy like that is genuinely is the craziest thing. Yeah, you know the fact that it's a year. Exactly and the fact that back then one year ago. You were just getting started. I had nothing going. Okay. Can you just tell them like a couple of the people who you've interviewed? Like, you know, Mark Manson James culture. Okay, James outside sure was an in-person interview live in New York City in front of a live audience. We had about 20 people there. We had listeners who I got to shake their hands and it made it so real like the numbers no longer. Girl, like they don't they don't matter. It was like I'd rather you see the real spaces. Yes, and I've made relationships with them still and I'm going to be hanging out with some of them while I'm here and I'll take like you offer me Jordan you want a thousand extra listeners right now, or do you want to shake a couple, you know of their hands of your existing lessons I'm taking on I'll shake their hands and spend some quality time with them was so cool. It made it real for me made me feel like I was a actually making an impact and but yes James out switcher. That was like that was a great one. You mentioned Mark Manson those one of my favorites episode 99 and Naveen Jane. I just talked to Jordan Harbinger yesterday. Oh, I love it. He was he was great. I was so that'll be really you know, he's in I think he's in Washington. I think he's on the west coast I could be wrong. But who else I've interviewed the biggest porn star in the world. On Valentine's Day Rachel Starr. Yeah, this is called Valentine's Day with Rachel Starr and that was like that's a big inflection point for me. A lot of people knew me because of that and interest and I was like a big like oh crap like this is crazy. You know, she's like really well-known than yeah. She's she's number one and just yeah, it's crazy. Like I was you know, I was a high-school loser couple years. Ago and and now like these people are my friends and I text them and help them with stuff and and it's it's cool. I feel crazy how things can change like it's super relatable because yeah people people from school who back in the day when I was you know, what before I'd ever lost weight in the fitness industry you call me Mack Edie's they have in the past asked me if I have any jobs going and it's just like it's just funny. I don't know. It's just to me. It's Funny now but it just goes to show how much can happen in such a short period. Yeah, and what's crazy to what really there's a couple of ones that bring It full circle. Like I was I told you about an hour ago, like, you know, I was totally awkward person High School. I didn't talk to anybody. I think I just didn't I didn't I had one friend whose name was Peter and I'll see him. I'm around up north and literally my only friend that I had for four years. I never had a class at them never had a even a lunch with him through High school so I was left to fend so and so when I realized when I wanted to talk to people I started learning I realized I didn't know how and then I mean this is where growth mindset comes in, you know, if you don't know something you can't really learn it. You can improve anything with effort. That's what it is. If you have a growth mindset, that's what you believe and so instead of land as having these grossly on fulfilling social interactions. Like I'd walk away from social interaction to be like, I'm before Jordan reveals exactly that remember new online. Coach.com forward slash Workshop you are going to learn exactly how to create a profitable and rewarding online coaching Consulting business. Now, even if you're already an online coach and have a few clients, if you don't already have an income of twenty to thirty plus per month, that's 20 to 30 thousand parts per month. Then you need to make sure that you check this Workshop out. It's that new online coach.com for a slash workshop and you're going to learn the old way of doing things versus the the new way of doing things because if you're still doing things the old way then you are going to be getting left behind. Now. Remember I have this washer right now. It's going to be updated again, but still check it out right now because the content is absolutely insane that is new online coach.com for / workshop and it's linked in the show notes as well. So make sure go ahead check that out. It's around an hour long set some time aside and you will thank yourself in the future. Oh God, you're my to do that. Why do you say that? Sucked and I got to a point where like, okay, I'm gonna we're gonna change this instead of just laying down and crying I and doing nothing and that's it. I laid down cried then got up and studied everything from people. I sought out the resources from people who ought to know like Vanessa van Edwards. I heard one interview she did and I went out and listen to every interview she did I listen to some of them twice three times and then it came full circle and she came on my podcast. Of course. I read her book to I I listen to all of her interviews again to prepare for that podcast and it happened about a year and a half after I initially embarked on the Journey of learning everything that she's that she teaches I mean her websites could science is people.com. Like that's that's screams me like this can help me. So I learned as much as I could and then I would I would read about it. I would hear about it and I would go out in the field because that's what life is. Is and I'd have to practice it and test these new things and so over time. I just got to a point where it's like. Oh, okay, and I'm good at this now and you know, of course you still have some social interactions that are awkward like it doesn't completely go away but they're so fewer and farther between inch and I feel like I'm really just I feel like I show up better for people now and then the same thing with Jordan Harbinger to discovered him same time period and learned everything. I listened to him a ton and it came full circle yesterday when I'm like sitting there listening to him reply. Like wait, this is the same Jordan Harbinger. I've been hearing all this time like this. I'm like thinking about his voice. I'm like, but he's talking to me right now. Yeah, I guess so very nice people that happens to me with Grant Cardone. I was like, I was there just like how is this happening? That was a big one for you in person as well. Yeah exactly. That's the thing. I mean. You know, I got to spend a full-on over an hour just us. How does that happen? It happens because you know what you want and you put in the work to make it happen, right? So this is the thing so many people know what they want, but they missed that one critical step because it's it's not the right time or because they their friends are going to judge them or because their partner isn't certain about it or because they don't have enough money or because I don't this this isn't this nice just excuses, you know for for there are some periods of time where there is a good excuse right? There are some periods of time where physically you cannot do it, you know, you have kids you're owning this amount of money. You have no other hours in the day, but the unfortunate reality is like no more hours in the day are going to come about it's just not going to happen. Mmm. There's at that point you have to really figure out what's going to be the best thing for you a perfect example is people come to me. Me telling me. I really want to start an online coaching business. Okay, they'll come to me out starts telling me up and then they'll say to me. Okay. Well, I really want to start this online coaching business, but I'm in this job where I'm getting paid. I'm No 3 Grand a month. And so I say to them. Okay, how much do you actually need to survive? How much do you need to survive and maybe they've got kids so perhaps their expenses they have rent to pay maybe it's like two and a half Grand so realistically they're making 500 more than they actually need. But because I've always made 3 Grand they can't possibly go down to a part-time job or they couldn't possibly go and work in a waitressing job while they're building up their online coaching business because that's what they've always known. But what do you feel about that? Because I personally believe that that is a very fixed mindset and it's the mindset of doing what you've always done because it's what you know, and you have to when you're in a situation like that look at other options other ways of doing things. Because it's like what they say. If you've done what you've always done you're going to get what you've always gone. What do you think? Well, I mean I had that had a serving job and in high school that I told you about and I was working in that restaurant and I just thought like in the early days of that before I said never again and I decided to like do something else in the early years of that or the first half of my tenure there. I was like, I'll just do this for a while. I want to become a manager. I want to like like I want to work in this restaurant and and and like and I was stuck in the get a job mindset and I was like and I was I was hoping to like I and I hope I'll get a job at a good well-paying job after college. I hope hope is not a strategy by the way. Oh my gosh, that is amazing. It's not like the best thing I've ever heard. Hope is not a strategy. That's the tweetable. That's amazing. So instead I live by and I catch myself even in language when I when I still say it every now and then and I say no I really usually you can replace it with plan. I hope this happens this happens. You can just say I plan to do this I love and it just changes the way you think about it in your head and the way you go about in your actions and making this a reality. Well one way in which I do a summer thing. I've never done that one before that's amazing or like when you say I I wish is like I plan instead of I wish but what I do is like I don't let say I don't have a I don't know. I don't I can't think right now because like I feel so abundant in my life. I feel like it's really hard to come up with one of these things. But when I was working in my job in the past, it's like I can't quit a job because I don't have a business but instead of saying I don't have a business. I have a business yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah because Is going to be happening. You just need to add that simple yet on to the end and then your whole world opens up and you can have so many more options. Absolutely. I agree Okay cool. So I am intrigued by why you actually started a podcast because here's the thing right to me. It sounds like you were very socially awkward is it that you started the podcast to actually force yourself to engage with people? Hmm. I don't you know people ask me this question all the time. Why did you start your podcast when how and idea I just know that April 17th of 2018 was the day the first episode came out because that's what the podcast directories like Spotify that that's what they say happened. Yeah. Otherwise, I'd have no idea. It was like I was sleepwalking through the process which is entirely plausible because you listen to those early episodes. And it's like what is this like you to listen to me here and in this interview and go listen to episode like five after this instead of starting with like episode 99 with Mark Manson or like 21:26 James if you heard episode 5, you be like wait a minute this guy sucks. So so I've no idea like I just did it and this is this is a theme throughout like a lot of the good things in my life that I've come in my life making decisions without hesitation because the more time I have to think about something the more likely I am to overthink it and probably blow it and that's everything from starting a book writing a book starting a podcast to approach in a beautiful woman across the room. I know that if I wait too long, I'm going to overthink it and blow it and make excuses and talk myself out of it. So I've made this habit of conditioned myself to make decisions without hesitation, like just go and grow. As you go however, that's just what it is for me. You look at like my friend hollett. Aha, but this amazing podcast young and profiting like just on she I don't know if you're on Soundcloud but like that is a powerful platform. Actually. I don't think I am, you know, yeah, so like on Soundcloud alone with like reshares and and like she's at yeah, she only has like 32 episodes but she's at just SoundCloud alone nearly twenty thousand dollars per episode. Watch his guests like us the same same type of guest other professors. Things are changing Gretchen Rubin. Yeah, Gretchen Rubin is coming on my show. Nice really amazing. Yeah, but you look at her and if you listen to episode 1 of young and profiting it is the most perfect valuable nugget of information about the sound quality was impeccable the production value like the editing I could and there were four guests. It was Unreal episode 1 so she's someone Where she doesn't necessarily have to make a decision without hesitation because she can she can strategize and still carrying out the plan and she strategized very well in anticipation for the launch of her podcast young and profiting and she she absolutely crushed it in a way that I didn't crush it for a really long time. Like I was still bad episode 64, you know, and then I started you know, really getting a lot better interesting. Yes. It's just funny because my first ever YouTube video. So bearing in mind YouTube is horizontal. Yeah, I never had functionalities for school. I literally recorded it. I'm in my bed and I'm like, hey guys, it's Lauren AKA Lauren Fitness yet is vertical. It's amazing. They want Instagram them was Lauren Fitness and like em, so I just made a YouTube to an it is so bad, but that just shows how much Ouch, I have developed. In fact, I used to my friends in school would always sort of like cut me off when I was talking in conversation because I was just so rambly and just so unto the point now, sometimes that does still come up for me but it just shows how much you can change when you actually commit to it and it's so it's so valuable. So you decided to start your podcast for this unknown reason and it's unknown reason, so I guess my my I backtracked question is why do you feel that creating a university about having a growth mindset is so critical. Well growth mindset University is all about learning the lessons. We should have learned in school but didn't so that we can succeed in the Progressive new age of business and life that we find ourselves in something that's not in school. Well, some is important one for you. Why is important lesson? Oh well if the Can look at it. Like we're learning. The other aspect of is is we're learning from the people. We should be learning from like when Mark Manson someone who's sold tens of millions of copies of books like 10 and with that as tens of millions of dollars of books at the lot of money. It's a lot of money in sales. Obviously, it would make sense to learn writing and the create and the creative process from him. Yeah and the sale rather then some English teacher in right? It makes makes a little bit more sense. It makes sense to learn about idea generation how to literally how to think from somebody like, yes. I know you love. I know you love how to think it makes sense to learn that from somebody like James out touchers a Serial entrepreneur who's had started 21 companies written 21 books it he's obviously really good idea generation not tell them his his little hug that he does. So That's down 10 ideas every day. And I know you just started doing that. See I don't do this because I feel like I've already have so many that it's actually pains me because I have so many that I just can't execute on them right now that know just how I didn't say I can't iconic Scott on them right now. I can't because I have one goal and I feel that when it comes to having a ton of ideas like you need to understand which ones to execute on them, which I'm so not however when I listen to him on your book us if I gave him my clarity because I realized like you don't just have to think about business ideas that you want to execute on. It's also just ideas in general. So I know he was talking about how he was, you know, thinking of some ideas about how the people in the film should have done it, right? Yeah, so like 10 idea and like ten ideas for Amazon 10 ideas for LinkedIn. Yeah, I to be 10 business like this. I just how I misinterpreted it. I meant to as I was You know, I've been up since 4 a.m. Today traveling to come here to beautiful New York City. I meant to on the on one of the plane rides over. I was going to write 10 ideas for Lauren and I like video wise like to do I didn't do it today. Yeah, it's but but that would be another example will film some after that. Yeah, exactly and But continuing with the university it makes sense to learn human behavior and communication from somebody like like Vanessa van Edwards who have already mentioned someone like Jordan Harbinger somebody like Chase use who wrote this amazing book called the Ellipsis manual analysis and Engineering of human behavior and in it is a little thing of the periodic table of elements, but the behavioral table of elements this man has created a behavioral table of elements with levels of deception and all sorts of care characteristics and what these what every gesture from head to toe might mean And whatever vocal vocal tonalities might mean every tonality right and and speech pattern it is so complex. It makes sense to learn from someone really mean he's he's been an investigator for the government like he it makes sense to learn from him, right? Okay. Well then Mark sorry Chase use chastening guys. I am absolutely reading that. Yeah. He's the one so good. Wow, it's a it's a big book. It's almost 400 pages. But yeah, so good even if even if you just read the first First 70 Pages, which is reading o analysis of every gesture and vocal tonality so good and that changed my life along with you Vanessa's work and Jordans work, but it also so and then marketing makes sense to learn from somebody like Phillip Stutz who has literally immersed himself. He so he does political marketing but also a business marketing as well. But he he's managed the campaign's it's companies manage the campaign's of so and one over 1,200 elections for senators. What? Over what have you say represent also three u.s. Presidents the he's literally won elections for with their campaigns that he constructed. Yeah kind of makes sense to learn marketing. Yeah from that guy. Yeah, absolutely. So that's what this is all about here growth mindset University and it's the joy of my life. I mean, I love talking to these people people that were my heroes that I'm now becoming friends with like I told the story in the beginning here. Like I never could have imagined this is like, this is a Thing for me I find myself talking with these people that I never could have imagined myself talking with yeah, and here we are. So what did you do to develop a growth mindset? Well, that's a that's a process over time. And I mean, I really it's shrimp just a mindset. I just adopted that like, okay. I'm not like I start, you know identify these pain points in my life. And like I said, I don't sit don't just sit back and cry and I like go put in the work. Yeah you are. Swishing waiting and wanting with work, right? I mean that's that's what it is. Okay, because did you use to be something with everything? Yeah, every problem in your life. That's how you approach it. That's what it is. Yeah, I love it because it forces that execution right and it forces you to actually do something about the problem get at least a little bit better a little bit. Exactly. Yeah, that's it doesn't have to be perfect. I actually always say that perfectionism is just procrastination packaged up or fantasy, right? It's so true. Because people wait and wait and wait and wait and wait, but they could have just done it and then adjust it as the market, you know told them what they wanted. For example, if it was launching a product or something now, do you still have a fixed mindset? Oh, yeah. Oh for sure. Yeah, I you know, I was accepting of the fact that you know my hands I heard in my father's social jeans. That's a good one. Yeah. I used to think not I used to think. I was just big boned. I used to be overweight. Yeah, I used to like I was you know, I was going to be I was always the skinniest kid and you could see my my ribs and I was like younger and as I was taught like I'd always be like that and because I wasn't willing to put in the work and the gym and so, you know little later in life. I talk like I'm so old people call anyone, you know, people called me out on that all the time. It's like why you talking all the time and then it was just like Wait, tell everyone how old you I'm like, I'm 22 Yeah. Well you were you born in a 97 same. Oh, so September 29th. 1997. Oh, I'm only a few months. Yes, like it's about nine months, right? Yeah. Yeah interesting year because finally another 97 baby shouts: so okay, right. Let's think about this. So you used to have this like fixed mindset and you were thinking in that sort of like you're just stuck. Mmm, so I feel like you sort of had a bit of a victim mentality. Yeah that to and victim mentality is rampant in 2019. It's really bad but so bad, but the also yeah, I was talking about my father's social jeans. Like I was you know, my my mother and father great. They've been married for like 25 years and but the one thing that my mom has said like that if she could change something about my father be that and I wish he was like better socially like you sometimes he hangs back for a lot of times he hangs back from social events. He wants to wants to leave because it's just he's a I don't want to say like enough to put words in his mouth, but he's not as sociable as like my mother and you know, he could never he could never hang at the bar, you know in college or go or college party without like crashing and burning and I felt that too and I was like well Is it and it wasn't until I put in that work with studying all things communication for a year and a half straight and it's still my favorite thing to learn I still is but also to with depression with when I was I was three and four years old. I was in therapy for what they call sensory issues. I would cry at the drop of a hat and literally a loud noise. It would bother me. One of my first phrases was that noise that noise and sometimes it still comes out ice like my brain got a kind of goes. Hey. Haywire but like I was really difficult kid to raise and I cried way more than normal way more than I should have and throughout High School being you know, what I would call The Press. I mean I was never like clinically diagnosed but like because I never went to anybody for help but I you know, I was depressed throughout those four years in high school and I was like, this is this is me and even when I was falling, you know, I was when I got to college and I was like popular for the First time in my life and I had like things going on student athlete I was president of my residence hall. Like I was because like instantly like the first week that guy had those things going on and which is whole thing will change. I just I went a thousand miles away where I knew nobody and I wanted a fresh start. Wow. Yeah, so I intentionally knew nobody. Wow. Yeah, so and and and it was making decisions without hesitation again, like I had the opportunity to become a male cheerleader of all things come across my desk and I Look, it was like bam done. I'll do it. And it was one of the coolest things I've ever done in my life. Like there's just that the dynamic of 20 gorgeous women the most popular women in the school and five six seven guys is very interesting. But that's true. I'm still synthesizing the lessons I've learned from that experience. So it's hard to talk about now. Yeah, but you know being present in my residence hall like we were in a red floor meeting and are a resident assistant mentions. You can run. This these positions of the residence hall which is like, you know 600 people and as I heard president was like, oh my God, there's no like there's no doubt in my mind I was going to do it. There was no deliberation and I was like, I'm going to do it and you figure out how to win later. I had a whole marketing strategy. I figured it out how to win later. I did over eight people. But yeah, where are we going with that was before it making decisions a cetacean. I was just I was just asking you, you know change yeah. Yeah, yeah, we'll watch I was looking like what changed between like you and high school then you're in college. Yeah. That was I just knew that was my chance. But hey, like what where I was going with that is even when I would slip even after that I would still slip into like depression, you know, like firm, you know for a couple weeks at a time with me with regards to like having panic attacks likes it like is pretty similar. Like I feel that it's easy to fall back into your old ways. Yeah, but I was I was This is for a while. Like this is the brain. This is the way my brain is I was this here's the most disempowering thing. I ever thought and I carried this with me from for a couple of years. It's like I was born depressed because you know, this one has three and four and yeah, and that was really disappointing. That is that was fixed mindset. Yeah to the max. Yeah. I was born this way and it is not changing. Well, that's really got me thinking because I sometimes even now like I will have a feeling where I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack and it's just because I'm like I have anxiety, you know, you associate yourself with it. You have to this is what this is what I talked about with Josh Perry in my episode with him BMX athlete who has survived multiple brain tumors what he would he would never associate he survived living for them like he was a month away from dying at one point. As one of the best BMX athletes bikers in the world and he's you know, he was going through this when he was our age 21 22 23, and he's having like brain surgery. He would never say my anxiety or I have anxiety. He would say the anxiety the and I've never liked don't associate it with he would not associate it with his identity. Yeah, exactly like a mine there. No, but that's amazing because I feel that change your language change. My life exactly but when you identify with something, it becomes a part of you. It's like ingrained in your soul and it's so hard to step out of that. You live it. Yeah because it is you like there's no separation. It's like you couldn't live without it because it's part of you. Yeah and only through disassociation. Can you move forward with it? Like is that say you were you had an eating disorder, you know, if you continue to say I have an eating disorder. Yeah. I have an eating disorder. You are the person who has nothing says you act in the way of that and what if you flip it the other way like think about and this is from Kamal rather. Can he wrote this book? Love yourself? Like your life depends on it and flip that around I think about the things we normally think about ourselves like we tell ourselves. We're like the average person like I suck I suck at this. I know good as I hate myself. I'm no good. And over time the same way a river wears away at the at the Earth and creates like a literally the Grand Canyon over thousands millions of years, whatever what if you flip that and constantly said, I love myself. I love myself. I love myself like I am strong powerful. I'm full whole and complete and you kept saying that over and over again when those negative thoughts creep in like that's what you replace it with you like. Oh these are coming in. I'm going to say I am full whole and complete. To say over and over and over again and over time that River where's away at the Earth? And it creates a the Grand Canyon in your mind that is just the natural flow of things now is I love myself. I am full and complete it because it naturally flows that way. It's amazing. It's like I've heard just of some people were like an elastic band on their wrists, right? And so let's just say they're obese and they say they want to have a snack they like look the thing on the wrist, right? I don't know about this strategy how I feel about it. It's a questionable, but it's like you're doing it in your mind. Every time you have that negative thought come out. You're basically flicking your wrist to say no. Here's what we're going to think instead. Yeah, and you just started it exactly and it's like you're conditioning yourself to believe in another way. And so it's funny like I remember ages ago. I heard Chris and Laurie harder. I got a book us together. And they were talking about daily affirmations and I was like, yeah that is a load of BS. This is stupid. This is like that l a type of mindset. You know, I like just so like weird and this was probably I don't know three years ago than I when I had this and so for for a year or so, I was just you know, I just thought it was stupid. I literally thought it was stupid just like anything to do with any sort of spirituality or anything to do with you know anything. A thing like that. I just like shut it off and I say weirdos stupid LOL Vibes, you know just because it's just getting in England people always say o Allah. I really like, I don't know how what they send States anyway, so I then was like, you know what I've been hearing more people talk about daily affirmations. Like I'm just gonna I'm just gonna give it a go and just like it's neat little thing a diff myself not don't need to tell anyone about it. And so I decided like in the morning. I was going to start the moment. I About to get out of bed. I was going to start saying some daily affirmations. I remembered it was at the time but I still do it to this day and I've never not done it and I say out loud. I am fit. I am happy. I am healthy. I am wealthy. I am strong. I am successful. I am calm I am ambitious and today is going to be a good day and then I jump out of bed. Then I make my bed and then like that and like you see how I can just recite that just yes exactly because you've it's worn away at the you've created these new. Patterns in your brain over time exactly because like one of the things I never used to say in there was like I am calm. Mmm and I started to catch size and yeah, I used to because of my anxiety and the past the previous anxiety, which I had. Yes. No, I because of that like I knew like it is starting to come back a little bit quite badly Arch. And so I was like I need to do everything I can to remove this from my life. So I just added I am calm in there. And I say it like Stewie I'm calm I and sometimes if I'm going through an anxious period of time I'm like I say a few I'm like I'm I am calm I am calm and then yep like you just did our breathe over like I am calm and then I'm just feeling fine. You know, you say breathe has been thinking the last week. Nothing feels better than a big deep breath. Yeah, there's I'm serious. I it's so my go-to. Yeah, and you know those try trying moments and it's so funny that you say that just on this topic of you know, having a growth mindset and everything because When I was suffering with panic attacks often breathing would be something my breath would get really shallow. And so I would always just say like breathwork doesn't work for me. It makes me dizzy. Like that's why I said I was like, I can't meditate because I can't do the breathing and like at the time it's because it was so far from what I knew what I knew was like being out of breath and like like that. Mmm. It's a being able to like slow down it just it was Wasn't able to open my mind up to it because it was just so it was like have you ever seen that like chipping? There's like a on one side of the screen. There's like chipping for gold then he starts to walk back. Yeah, of course on the other side he changed and he finally gets there in his shot. He shot. The other guy should have just kept going for like we was three feet from gold exactly and it was like, I don't know just reminds me of that because if I'd have just tried it. Rather than just, you know if I just tried it properly rather than just trying it for like to literally 2 seconds. It could have sold so many of my problems. Yeah can't as really disempowering to really part of the fixed mindset. I yeah, you just triggered something in me that I that I am constantly reminded of by my parent's is when I was in around the same age four years old I was and this is on this is on video whatever. However they captured video back then I'm going to have to dig it up, but Me riding around on a bike on my bicycle and the driveway crying my eyes out saying I can't do it. I can't do it as I'm like doing it but it didn't matter because my mind was so set on not doing it that like I just it was so stupid and silly. Oh my gosh, I laugh myself crazy, isn't it? It's not as nice. Oh gosh, so when it comes to obviously mine says a massive thing for you, you know, you've obviously now got your own business surrounding your poor guys and everything, which is awesome. So for people who are listening right now, how can they Implement some of your key practices regarding mindset to help them Propel forward in business or even just start that business if they've not yet started because they're mine has been holding them back what I mean is simply as I can put it as a Said throughout here is identify that pain point and go seek out the resources from people who ought to know like there are experts in every field and even as I get into the world of event planning. I've been seeking out some new people because I've never done this before and people are coming to me with all these events. They want to put on with me and like, you know, some of my heroes even to the want to put on events with me and and ones that I'm putting on my own I get like a silly little one like Tim local but still I have no clue how to do it. I'm doing the my first one that Linked In local and about 10 days from when we're recording this but I've no clothes. So I've gone about reaching out to people who have who I believe have done LinkedIn local most successfully. Yeah namely like I've seen Patrick Ward running LinkedIn local LA and he's and it's so good so good and there's a lot of people and and so I I just asked him a question and he sent me not one not two not three not four not five, but six voice messages a minute-long like the maximum on LinkedIn in a row back and I was like, oh my God, this just changed the direction of the entire event. Like the you just made the event ones because I thought out the researchers from people who ought to know people that have been there and done that and anyone can do that in any area of their life. It's really exactly what I always say, that's amazing. Just find someone who's done easily what you want to do. And what would them to model their success? Yeah, it's crazy. Like we're about to go meet my friend Emily. She's been on the podcast as well. And she was a client of mine who saw what I had done and she you know goes by me and now she's like absolutely crushing it. She's able to come just pop down here for a couple days because she has that freedom and it's so incredibly true that you help people start podcasts and like crush it with that and build a business around there podcasting and kudos. To the work you're doing and empowering Emily like that and empowering a lot of people like that. Yeah new online coach.com like yeah, it's just important. I think people get stuck in the confidence competency Loop, you know, they don't have the confidence because they they aren't yet competent in it. And I believe that you know confidence comes to success. So what happens, you know, when people don't already have that confidence, how do they be? Well you increase your But since to increase your confidence, yeah, and again by seeking out those resources. We want to know and you and by doing that you increase your competence. Yeah, and with that and as you go out in the field and have successful results, or at least more so successful than before then when you were doing that specific activity, your confidence is naturally going to increase. Yeah as your conversion rates increase as anything. Uh, yeah, right more clients more downloads more whatever whatever ring you conference is going to increase. Yeah. Absolutely. It goes like get competent then with that you get more confident and with that. Yeah. Yeah success. Learn your way out of pain. That's it's it's so something that everyone can do have used to hell. What was that? How same thing same thing? Just about your name thing. Learning but for learning everything, how do you learn how to learn? Yeah. Well, I mean it's different for everyone. But I just my method is finding a mentor in that area reading a book same as before. Yeah, reading the books and that area listening to the podcast the right around that area. Like that's that's what my learning process consists of and of course doing and practicing and putting, you know, seeing the Built in the field. Yeah, it's a it consists of my learning process consists of nothing more. Nothing less. What do you believe about just-in-time learning have you heard of this conversation just in time but professional so funnily enough. One of the things that we learn in University was just in time manufacturing. Yeah, and so just in time manufacturing is what car manufacturers used So that obviously, you know, they don't have to have a massive Warehouse because that's expensive that able Just bring in the pot. They need get that pot dealt with move it on. You know, it just it happens rapidly and things get done just in time. They get done just as they need to get done so that the whole car can be produced in perfect timing. There's no time wasted right? And so I like to think about the manufacturing plant as our brain. So we learned things just as we need them so that we don't have to hold things in our brain that we're not using. What do you think about This concept well, what comes to mind for me is experience comes to seconds after you needed it most and you in that way. I mean you kind of are learning things just in time. But yeah, you made the mistake comes to seconds after you needed him most but you know, you kind of do need to make mistakes to learn as well as part of it and you know with with anything even something as simple as like so silly as yeah, I work out at At 45 Jim its functional 40. Why do we have any good? Oh, it's excellent. Great. Yeah, I love it is amazing. I love the code eons. Yeah, I love Mom. But yeah and on Saturday, they got the DJ coming in and so like I don't it's too loud for me because you know the loud noises that really make my brain go Haywire. So especially me. I'm more sensitive to that stuff. So bring these concert earplugs. Yeah, and so I was Like emptying, you know, it's in this metal container. That's a really hard to and they kind of stick because they're rubber right? So I was like, I was like trying to get it out try and get it out. And I got one and then the next one. I'm sitting in my car as I'm doing this the next one comes out fuzz somewhere and then down the and then it falls in between the seat and never to be seen again as like darn, you know, I actually shouldn't have done this in here with us. Just small object where there's so many places that it could fall now experience comes to seconds after you need it most but next time I'm dealing with a really small but important those those earplugs are more like a dollar earplugs. I mean they were like, yeah, there's a twenty dollar pair right like the cheapest thing in the world. Yeah. That's a lot of fabric. So so next time I something important I won't I won't be dealing with it in my car with there's so many crevices and it's it's gone. Yeah, maybe I'll find any Year, but amazing, right? Well, I think this has been a great podcast episode. I think everyone has to go follow you on LinkedIn Jordan Paris. I'll leave it obviously or LinkedIn the shown it's now if you want to just tell us, you know, what impact is it that you're really interested in making in people's lives. Yeah II love have gotten these messages where Jordan you you inspired me to quit my job and go do X Y and Z Jordan you Dropped out of school because of you and that I'm like, oh my God, it's like it's like holy crap that could go really wrong could go really right. I think they'll be okay, but I love I love disrupting in that way because I know for me my worst nightmare is to be a corporate drone. Yeah for 40 years retire at 65 died. Three years later save everything save all life's Pleasures for those three years before I I died after retirement when I'm too old to actually enjoy them. And the thing is I until I was woken up to it by stay woke what I'm totally not me. I'm not not claiming to be in the enlightened one. That's the thing to you have to always feel like you're just getting started that you know, nothing and constantly question yourself along the way as part of it part of you know, how I continually get better at things better with the podcast. I ask people like what about this sucks. What about this is not clear. But we're we're talking about making an impact in. Yeah, I I didn't know that until I was woken up to like there's something greater that you can do something more you there's more to life like you can actually enjoy it. Yeah, we have such a similar mindset. Like that's like the exact same as me and I've been you don't know. Yeah people people did that for me. I love when I wake people up to the fact that like, they don't have to be a corporate drone and work for people. Oil absolutely for 40 years retired died three years later and diet Porpoise to be quite Frank. Absolutely. You can't get rich renting out your time Lauren. You know that. Oh, I know exactly that's it. So that's amazing. Thank you so much for coming on the show is Ben gray. And I feel like like you said we are very similar. We have a similar sort of like stories. We didn't even touch upon your Fitness coaching days. Yeah. Maybe that means that we don't have to just do another one in the future. Exactly. So everyone go follow Jordan on Then I go listen to the growth mindset University and yeah, go get some sushi now. Oh, yes, let's do this. I'm thank you so much. I appreciate it.
Today host Lauren Tickner is joined by 21-year old Jordan Paris who is an author, host of his own #15 ranked podcast The Growth Mindset University and podcast marketing expert. This hugely insightful episode dives in to Jordan's journey and developing a growth mindset. In this episode, Lauren and Jordan discussed: 2.35 How Jordan and Lauren first connected 9.10 How making excuses stops you achieving your goals 10.10 Fixed mindset in your career 13.20 Why Jordan started his podcast 25.00 Victim mentality 38.00 How can you implement growth mindset practices in your business? Here’s a FREE training for anyone who wants to START an online coaching business, and avoid the 3 biggest mistakes that cost virtually every new online coach time and money: https://newonlinecoach.com/workshop  Join our FREE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/impactschool/  FOLLOW LAUREN TICKNER: 📲 Instagram: https://instagram.com/laurentickner 👔 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurentickner/ 📽 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/laurentickner 📧 Email: lauren@impact-school.com  Follow Jordan Paris: 📲 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/j_paris_/ 👔 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordantparis/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/growth-mindset-university/id1372479190 