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And if it's here you have nothing else in your life or to entertain you it is not horrible. Stop put it down. No, you don't want to put a lot of work into this. I know but I'm feeling a little sad. Not getting enough me time. Alrighty of us. I mean, I'm not getting enough meat and what you know what you should do. You should tell your wife you said another podcast and just go to a bar by yourself. I'm right that is day night. She found me and we got into what we call a discussion where I lost and I had this yeah, I often lose discussions with my wife as well. So thank you for joining us whether you're new or a veteran tonight. We're going to be talking about the worst parenting related chores and responsibilities. The very specific tasks that you need to perform for your kids with your kids that are all amazing. Obvious. All amazing. We just making we're just poking some fun. Yeah. I mean this is this is the podcast where you going to learn a lot you are going to learn wanting and about yourself, maybe self. Nothing about Pete though because you're very secretive not on social media, you will never you will not speak in any way about your childhood in England. You don't know what's happening with that and if you're interested in that definitely go fuck yourself. Wow. Now see gonna do that not not gonna do it gonna do it. Again. That's one of the Impressions I will do on Cameo for a small fee not gonna do it. I don't think I've ever done that one before say if someone does ask Mike to do a cameo from them. Can you please put your name on a list? Yes a National Registry. I think the homeland security immediately. Does that okay if anyone offers Nate likes it? Yes, they can we have a lot of friends in Australia who listen to me on that radio station that time that one can't remember the name. It was in Western Australia. Yeah, where's the capital Canberra? Is that where it was? Perfect. It was Perth, but Canberra is the capital. I believe I'm sinking bear is a camera camera in third grade. I had to write a little make like a travel brochure for some place. You really wanted to go 40 years later still never been you know, what dreams don't come true kids isn't that 40 years? We have been to Wales in England. No. Okay, because that's where dreams don't come true. Well, I knew that everyone knows well sucks. Yeah, it does. I think Wales is no Australia. It's no Australia. I don't think it's Mike. I don't even think it's like a northern England. It's just sort of like whales well, it's just you know, who's you know, who's well, should I believe Pete District? I guess what rich rich man's Pete Anderson. Come on, Michael Fassbender think he's Welsh. I don't think I think gosh Irish. Well Sherman. No that's in the film. No, no can't to be German in and go as fast. I actually do believe which is 100% Other than Django Unchained we've had this conversation before no but I think Fassbender is definitely Germany. That's find out why he had a producer who maybe had a computer in front of him. You used to bring a computer and basically all you brought to the table. Guess what are we talking about? I told not to bring it anymore by my goddamn family. Yeah. Well, it's lucky. I don't know if this is your first time your 50th time of your last time, but we appreciate you joining us even for this just this brief time. Yeah. Thank you. If you want to hear some more from us, you can spread the word amongst your friends. Support us with some ratings. How about slipping into a conversation out again looking into a coma only I could I dream into a car everyday. Yeah slip into a coma it's dark. I would love it. I would love it. If you'd be pretty good you get good sleep. Do you think you get like you feel rested? Imagine if you slip into a coma and you woke up say a hundred like Futurama right not but not that far you wake up a hundred years later. Your kids have lived accomplished and successful lives. You didn't have to fucking do anything you're talking about the amazing. Ella but that's my dream is just a wake up and all the sudden my kids have done a whole lot of cool shit. Not a fan of interstellar, but we'll table that for this one. So look you can you can spread the word you can write us on Spotify and apple podcast. We need more ratings when we get to one when we get to 200 will do something special who knows what it is write a review if you want subscribe and engage with us on YouTube. We can talk about specific episodes, you know, we haven't been doing a lot of good engaging knowing, you know, well they were going to call I'm going to clear this out. I'm going to call. Us out you sound like my wife who will walk around the house and go do you think we could do this? And she just means fucking me you think we could like clean like I'll be home. I'll be working for NOAA next day and she'll go. Do you think we could clean the kitchen a little bit just when I represent meaning clean the fucking kitchen? Yeah, because she's talking about the Royal we no, I know what she's talking about. But it and if you want to throw some money our way you can do so on patreon anchor you can buy some merch at at our merch store all in my link tree and instagram.com by the way this Week in particular is think patrons day thank patrons day this week. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll have to thank what we have thanked our Patron. So we're about to hear one of our patrons. We're going to thank you verbally right now, but we've also sent you a little something in the mail. I think most of you have received them or we have more to go so we have more to go. So on the single dad to hear Chris Coleman Miriam, Ms. Baybayin check your kids at the door M cedeño and Mallory Mackenzie. 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I don't think I'd be same a they may have been demoted. Okay and the Chiefs who I need a need a big game from them tonight. Help me with my fantasy game. All right, let's hope they perform and the my new dad tear Sarah Desiree kissling and Monica. Thank you. Everyone one and all if you haven't gotten something from us, you will some of you joined after we sent them out to deal with it. Yeah, how about that? That's that's what you should do. Just do that's what we do. We I deal with you you deal with me and we all deal with it. So you're getting monthly support like that with the money means we don't have to advertise which is great, but we don't want to be sellouts unless you pay us a lot of money and then will do Do it in a fucking spaz. I know exactly what that's our hope. Our hope is to to be sellouts. My hope is for you to one day be making fun of us for having sold out. No, my we are selling out by doing you've heard like probably two ads and hopefully before this well 202 not on tonight's episode. Yeah, but your support means a lot because it means that we can get into a better place emotionally. If only I think if I could only access that better place, that's why I want the coma. That's your better place. Yeah, when you when you go to your back, you're like you're like magical place. It's just a come. No, it's a hospital the sound of it no longer beeping. It's just you ten feet above you looking at you going to be good. This is beautifully Blissful finally. And the reason I want to be in that better place is because parenting sucks and there's a lot of bullshit that goes with it. And tonight. We're going to be talking about a lot of the parenting responsibilities and chores and tasks that suck the Well, let's get into it and do it right after this. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcast in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify is a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Ever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for dead and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right, everybody as promised. We're going to be talking about the worst. How do I phrase it? The the worst chores parenting chores that are the worst. When you go out at night, when you come home fine, they should be well. You're like my kids are asleep. I posted the question and and somebody responded because I said, you know in like a couple of stories so it's not boil down to one question. I have a brief little conversation about our whatever and I say that like all the shit that you have to do is apparent that sucks whether it's like taking your kids to the doctor or the morning routine or getting them dresser bath. We're feeding them and somebody responded and I said and I'm like his parenting sucks. And there's a lot of this shit and build. Oh Myka D. Om, E. Ik A on Instagram responded parenting absolutely sucks cannot wait for this podcast now, he didn't say cannot wait for this episode, but he has listened to before but all he really did. I mean the entire podcast is basically just about all the little balls every episode is a different part of the building that we are that sucks. So we are here to act as that pillow to scream into. Yes Justice. I mean, there's so many wonderful parenting podcast out there that you should definitely listen to but if you're really pissing most as with Mom if you're happy, yeah, if you're have mom like that if you're halfway through a bottle of wine, this is the one you need to go to listen to or if you're working out or whatever. You need to get some working out and I can put another 25 pounds on the fucking Bobby shrimp on the barbie. That's the Arable now, we are literally went from the gym to the grilled ham and you know what one it's fucking shoe of Consciousness. I'm an artist. Yeah. Yeah. So Bill this is this not only is this episode for you every previous episode and every future episode are also for you quite the coincidence. Literally we made this for you, but it's all for you Bill. So pretty. Wow. What day is The Omen reference? Yeah. So good. Guess what that what I do right after that you hang yourself in jump from a building? Yeah. Thanks, Bill. Thanks for chiming in. So today I had to bring my kid to the dentist. And on the way back. How many shitty toys did he come back one? Just one like the smallest one. He loved the fucking toothbrush. You got which 185 the hammer I am five-year-old of thanks for not knowing the aces my kid 9 and 3/8 and five was not even close. So the Hammers my toddler. We're I'm I'm leaving and I have them in the stroller just because I was in a hurry on the way there and we parked it's hard to find parking a little bit far and I went to check my work email all with one hand with one hand you son of a but that's not why it was because I wasn't looking there was a huge divot. Yeah, of course in the pavement and you're ready launched him really? Yeah, he wasn't strapped in he's too big. I don't stop him in that much anymore. We're barely going anywhere hit the fucking thing. It's like when you're on your bike. Yeah hit the brakes on the front wheel. Your wrist is obviously broken because there's nothing like 20 pounds, but he just boom and he launches forward breaks his fall with his hands. Thank God but smash it rips his pants and his hands and he's not bleeding and he's not even scraped but you could tell like the force of the impact I think heard a lot, right? And he was just screaming I want my mommy was like the first thing he said and I put the gun in my mouth right there. Yeah, and then I mean I'd you pack I made him feel better. And I made them feel a little bit better on the walk back to the car by like having fun with the stroller and stuff worry about that if we're right next to the and we get in the car and I'm trying to like cheer him up and ask him what's going on. It's just going to leave me alone. Who's my God honestly devastated so I had tears in my eyes. So, you know, no that's the other one. I'm just killing it. No because you but I've done that before where you're just you're full stride like just pumping because you got to get somewhere. Yeah. Now I've never the want the reason why the one hand it is because you got to get you got to get the right side of the one making a really hard. Yeah, very very hard. And the heavier the kid the harder it is prized your wrist shatter because what I wasn't on the side of it, I was in front of it with both and maybe I don't know maybe I just put my phone away and grabbed. It just hadn't seen the divot in the sidewall and straight into the dividends you and there goes your kid just poop kind of yeah, exactly. It was not fun to the street like this on the sidewalk. No. No we were Going parallel to it. You've done it into traffic. I've come like I care if I tell you how close I've come to like actually like just putting my kid fully in like like just doing that because the sidewalk yaker fucking garbage and you hate this city, by the way, I do and you know what though? I also love it Union Yang Yin and Yang Yang and yang but nice try. So anyway, we got home and he took a nap because he needed one which is part of the reason he was so hysterical. And he naps for a while. Then he wakes up and he comes and finds me and then he wants me to ask me to snuggle with him. So then I go and snuggle with him and I don't know what I asked him. I was trying to make sure that he was okay. He goes leave me alone. Someone has your fucking be my started to walk away and he's like no snuggle. I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah, it should cut bait, you know exactly and the point is you can't take what kids need a little kids say to you personally because they're fucking mush brained. I got nothing going on. So basically this was a All the play. Yes, and you had a point to this whole story which is don't trust your kids if they need an injury after him, you know dump them on the side know is when they say they don't like you don't trust them until they later. No, but the point was I took him to the dentist. That's where I'm supposed to go. And then I remember the accident. Okay, right and taking the kids to the dentist sucks. Yep, and it's the third time in two weeks that I've been to the dentist. I also had to go to the Urgent Care with teca Munch. Yeah. I'll tell you in a minute. I do go to Urgent Care Detective Munch. And we have doctors appointments and that kind of stuff on this list because it's such a huge pain in the ass because and those are more out of the ordinary things. You don't have to do those every day half the things in this list. Most of them are everyday. All right. Thanks. All right, let's we're going to start with and the first one were going to talk about is bedtime. You know what I'm out of here. You get out of here. You can't handle it. I can't you angry. You know what I just got triggered. We did an episode on the bedtime routine where we got into up all the stuff. We did it for love. So go back and listen to it. I think it was episode. Whatever, it's called It's called Go the Fuck to Sleep. Yeah, it's like, you know go look it up. It's good, but we did a whole thing on this but so but we got some input so so why does crack zombie designs hate the bedtime routine She fucking hates doing it because it drags bedtime out, but they require the routine to sleep, right? You can't just say hey go to bed like me. I had so much my wife hates me because I will just walk in the bedroom face plant and I'll be out within 5 minutes. Yeah, and she's got you know so-called mom brain. She's having anxiety and thinking about things because guys and Dad we don't have anything to worry about no stress no anxiety. Sorry. I fall asleep faster than you doesn't mean that I don't have things on my mind. It doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Well, that's I don't have feelings but no but looks you know, honestly your extremities have are numb. No. Yeah. I'm a leper. Yeah, so real Kate and I don't she's been commenting and listening for one. I don't know how to pronounce her name for sure. Real Kate says she says she asks the bedtime routine wide. Does it take so long to put them in bed and get them to sleep? It's okay. I'll be as the thing. The bedtime routine could be have your number. Yes. They did have your number and they've dialed it in and so here's what can I just tell you about time routine. I'd like to hear my so of all my kids. My oldest is actually turns out to be one of the hardest to put to bed and when you have nothing left when you are all your tank is and what when you're going well and it's just dust that there are you it's just me. On metal and the and the next thing you here after putting the kids to bed is I mean, there's only one reaction which is fuck you like just fuck whatever it is just fuck off and then of course if you do say that which I've definitely done you said fuck off. First of all, this has been what it was been 12 years every single day for 12 years for you know, yes, that's what I'm saying. I mean, so yes there have been times I've said fuck off and in fact last night it was like, it's enough. It's just too much and And but then what happens is so this is that 12 even. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, I think that's Yeah, my okay take a breath. I know you know guys I can't take it. So when this happens to us, so we do the bed time my wife and I mean, this is the thing that's annoying. Right? So you might have a bedtime routine that takes a long time maybe takes a half an hour or whatever from when you bring them to their bedroom and then finally leave but that's not necessarily when it's over because they could be calling you back for whatever reason is. Sometimes it goes on for like three hours intermittently over the last two and a half hours. That's the most soul-crushing. So when one of my kids cause it like will go down. I'll go down. We'll do it together. I'll leave knowing full. Well, I'm going make that whatever is not go back down again, and then I'll be like if I'm sitting on the couch with my wife. I'll be like I'm not going down right? It's your turn if anybody's doing it and then maybe she goes down in the next time. It's like we're both sitting up there going. No, right. We're not coming and yelling at them and then I fucking Sky they finally get off and stomp angrily go in there. Yeah, but you know why because that shit is now on. Your time and you know what, we're having sand and like I say it's metal on metal like there's no there's nothing left. You don't have anything left in your reserve have nothing left to give to at 10 o'clock at night too. I haven't eaten. I'm just I've dealt with all these fucking kids. I just need to like, can you just go to bed, please, please. It's all I want. No, I will never say that will say look. Let's just guys fuck mommy and daddy need some like time to themselves to or you say like we have I work to do or something like that when you really just going to watch Latest episode of Watchmen so been teeny 80 says she dreads bath bath and bedtime. We're getting into that time next. She said by that time of the day bedtime. I'm so tired and I can't deal with the nonsense my son drags bedtime on for an outrageously long time. I'm hot. I'm cold. Can I have my water one more book? What's that sound? These socks hitch. It's torture. I don't have the patience for it. Especially then. It's my one. Here you go. Here's my one final hurdle to cross before getting some time to myself and you get you get So desperate, I know that's so close to the end. The that's the things you get you more. Yeah aggravated at it when this happens with anything. If you have you need to go out. I've learned this if you have a desire as a parent to do something without your children verse what what's going to happen? Yeah, like Murphy's Law. Yeah is going to conspire to make sure that all you need to do whether it's I just need to run an errand really ugly or actually I need to you know do this. Like every other time in every other situation that's going to be a close second. Yeah. She's like it's but the night where you think you're escaping your kids. It's going to turn out to be the biggest meltdown you've ever it's going to be China Syndrome. Where the thermo Three Mile Island. Yeah, exactly and both of those are references for move. Thermonuclear Globe Thermo global thermonuclear war. Would you like that that doubted nothing like just like you doing an impression of you doing the computer? From war games. All right. Can I just say one thing about been teeny 80 why are you putting socks on your kid take them off take them off. Sometimes it's not worth doing if the kids Find You Don't Rock the Boat Don't Rock the Boat fine, but no the kid shouldn't have socks. But also if they're itching if they're a problem you fix that real quick. You know what I do. So my wife thinks is really weird. So sometimes when I sleep I'll put one foot out under the covers just to cool yourself down but when I'm awake, right and it's I will I will if I have my feet out so I do because I usually have my feet out and even if that means I will pull my socks down off of the heel and ankle and they'll still be on my foot just halfway we well that cools me down. A lot of my wife thinks. It's so weird. Let's back bbbbb this practice. Okay story is do it. You wear socks to bed. No, this isn't a bad I'm saying when I'm like in the living room or and we're watching TV, right? Yeah. Still out probably still have my socks on right I won't take them off completely. What I'll do is I'll I'll fold them up a little bit off my ankle and off my heel so they just cover my toes in the front of my foot and it's more I don't know it's comfortable as they take on my bra outlet and it cools me down. My wife thinks. It's so weird and gross looking. You know, what's amazing is I'm totally with your wife and I actually threw your with my wife. Yeah. Yeah because her opinion to do you think everything about feet is disgusting? There's a lot of people think feeder weird. Yeah. You're weird just so just - yeah. My flip-flops. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Lego 1311 says bedtime takes forever each day. It seems like something new gets added to it. Just go to sleep. So do your kids have a long involved routine? Okay both. I have three kids my middle and my I will tell my you know, what? I've been I feel like I've been cursed and I've been blessed. I don't know how my youngest should he ever listen to this podcast. It's not about him. Obviously. I'm talking about a different kid that I have. Mm-hmm. I'll be like here. Your beds over there like anywhere. I could be anywhere and be like you said your bed with you and sleep literally like Circle it three times like a dog. Yeah pop down and then he'll be asleep. He is the champion. He is the great he was he was he realizes that sleep is the greatest thing in the world. Now, I will say he didn't nap the whole time. He was alive for an entire year. So, you know the whole time he was alive for an entire year. What does that mean? He didn't app per year for was not for the whole time. I was like his whole life. Until he was one didn't app. So it was a total like it was a fucking shit show to have to thank you. So from birth to one. He never nap. Correct, even as a baby, correct, but he men he just he was like, but he went to bed. How long did he sleep at night? No, but then he then started to sleep through the night and I love this story makes a lot of sense but will pass will go with move on. So it just so happens that my oldest record as the most. But that's okay. So my kids I don't know. It's like they need water. They always need the one last thing and then by the end of it, you're just yelling at them. I don't remember myself or I can doing that. I don't like this is the thing that gets me get tucked in your done, which is yeah. I'm fact most of the time it's a to college and go to bed. It's like a night and you're like, okay, but I didn't you say but but but and they're like fuck that go to bed you like Mom. That's a lot of swearing. I mean, okay. Boom early. Okay Boomer. Okay Boomer. So a lot of people do bath time before bed. Oh, yes. So do you deal with that guy's you my bath every night life hack life hack on the weekend we do bath so early so we're getting we give this is the bath time. Yeah, we're session now, I do beth time so fucking early. It's the Especially in the winter time. It's the absolutely you get home from work. It's just bath time. Oh immediately that a battle to get your kids to do know because it's pretty straightforward and it's bath before dinner because how messy are they going to get it dinner? I mean they you know, yeah, you don't even know if they're not like the god lower. You know, that's not the point. The point is at the very end of the day but also has bass soothing for bedtime takes the longest amount of time and so if they're in there and you can be making dinner while they're in there and I mean some you know, obviously if they're able and they're old enough To be in them in there by themselves. That's great. Otherwise, the point is is the amount of energy. It's all about how much energy is something to Take Back Time takes a shitload of a yes to have dinner first and then have to do dinner. Yeah. Yeah when you want to be done after death, dude, you gotta be done. It's straight from dinner to bed. So a lot of people complained about about bath time and Courtney charm. There's something I wanted to ask you. She says the entire floor ends up wet and just when you think you're done you still have to clean the tub. Who's cleaning the top every time your kids ever sit in the tub? Yeah big time Big. There's a tail. He's gotta tell that's a Delirious. Yeah. She was delirious. No, that was my story. Oh, you're right. There was yours to my oh my God. Don't - daughter it out was screaming my youngest brother and my oldest daughter in the bath and then I said stop I said stop. Yeah, she's got it. It was the poop in the tub and Eddie Murphy's delirious, but I wasn't Submarine. Yeah, so Barb's to Graham says that her two-year-old decided Well five minutes into the bass you no longer loves it. Hella scared of it. Hella. Yeah, you use that you say that? Hella. That's a West Coast term. Yeah, but not so much anymore. It's like Wicked used to be Boston, but people use Wicked everywhere. No, no, no one uses it everywhere. No, but it gets used everywhere really guys are pieces show really know you I think you'll find you're a piece of shit if you use were well, I already know if he's a shit and I don't Use the word Wicked I'm just saying it has spreads Wicked pissah. I'm getting the hell upset right now. So my kids hate the bath what about showers? Can they do the oldest of showers now go and he's not himself. Of course, it took a little while to get them there to do. You gotta learn how to do with the shampoo and make sure you rinse it all out and all this shit. I carry my toddler like my I'll shower with my toddler but Read that still too old. I think to all the white to be to have to do that to like just they should do it themselves. You think he a three-year-olds going to shower by himself not my three-year-old was just in the shower when you do drown just sit in the shower and the water spray on his face now. Yeah, it's a good that's exactly right. There you go buddy. So that's the mechanic. Anyway, the shower is definitely easier but I've still you clean the bath after every bath my kids don't like the shower or bath or anything right when I mean by clean. I don't know. It's just Courtney turn said no, I don't but definitely like all the bath toys and stuff. They clean them. They need to be older to shower because they like to play because you've made them more enticing them in the bath time by adding toys and stuff. Right? So and so then what when again this is when they're older, so we're talking I'm talking for my kids five eight five nine and everyone knows too. Clean the bat like they have to clean it up if they play with toys and they have long hair to the girls. The girls have long hair. So a nightmare they don't they don't shower you make your wife clean the drain since all the girls have the long hair for whatever. That's a good question. But our dreams not mine. Oh my God my dream but if super drains drains are not that clogged with hair adulation at least societies says she hates bath time because it hurts her back washing their hair and their little bodies. He's and she always gets soaked. It hurts my back when I leaned down and the guy on the tile your knees hurt your back hurts. But Mike well, I guess my kids kind of have long hair but not like not like a girl would have you got a kneeling pad? Yeah, like a like a dainty your dainty memory foam thing. It's like an actual it's a gardening pack. You stir it next to your puke Bowl. Yeah right in front of your face like a cutout right in front of my face cut out of Mike's face. Shut up, and then I go So that is Yasmeen Reyes 0:13 said that her kids are five and seven. She's trying to teach him to shut showering on their own. Yeah, because bath time suck so much. Yeah, that's what you got. Yeah. No, I agree. But my three-year-olds like a shower in his own he wants to play or do whatever but you can as I said our Kirstie Milstead said that she hates bathing her kid because the kid wants to play and she doesn't so she pawned the bath time off to her husband her husband, of course. Yeah. I mean I used to get home and then do all three kids and then I had a mean this That the secret of parenting is is getting home after your kid has after your wife has bathed or your spouse's bathed your kids. Yeah or something. Like that's the dream of parenting to get home just afterwards amazing walk in total and it's done and say what about sorry, but I put him together what it put them together in one bath get him go. Yeah altogether, but I'm doing but when you're when you're a new parent got a bath time is very scary. Right, you're scared to turn your back at any moment. Even when they're toddlers. All that shit is infants with very clever the infant that little tray that they're in. Yeah flower underscore Kuwait. Oh says that her kids screams bloody murder. It's digweed because she doesn't want to get washed. What is it with these kids not wanting to get why either less freezing cold water or a little bit less High School. Yeah burned water. Well water burn baby. That's Rain Man. Hi starts hitting himself. Burn baby. Yeah, did you ever get burned this? No, I just had the shoe polish thing the shoe shoe polish Tori. Yeah. So you were saying you do bath time before meal time, which is how we put it on this list here and just say something. Oh my God on Saturdays and Sundays in the wintertime bath time starts at I'm we're in the zone at 3:30. I'm not fucking shitting you at 3:30 starting at 3:30. So will they have been out for the day? What are you doing all day? Soccer soccer Christmas shopping everything not everything everything going to like Build-A-Bear. Have you ever been to a building that will go to like the Children's Museum Nate? You been to a Build-A-Bear what the fuck for ate some pot brownies and when built the bear to scout. Oh my God, I don't know. I've never done one. I don't really know what it's about. There was a funny face book story where people went to a birthday party. That's some kid held at Burt Build-A-Bear the rent it out in the kid held it up. The bear and everybody all went and they made all their bears and these are like four or five year olds. They all made their Bears then as they were leaving the mom of the birthday girl was like, okay everybody give your Bears to me. These are all gifts for my child. So it wasn't like the goodie bag gift. It was these were all being made for the birthday girl. There's like 20 for building. Yeah. I mean, even if it were 12, right like how many life bears do need this like they had a brief discussion of in the mom was like, well, I like this was a Memento for my child for a birthday from all of her friends like she got it. I stood she got it twisted just weird some of the weird things people do I'm thinking about I'm thinking about how much you really stepped out of my story about that time. Okay, finish your story then fuck it. I'm not you know what? Yeah, you're pouting like my child offended like my nine year. All right, let's do the he won't want it. You know what I'm getting them in my life hack about going to bath time at four o'clock know. Yeah what that I thought that was the whole story. It's in that first of all back if you assume that bad time. To take an hour then let it take an out if bath time is going to fucking take an hour. Yeah. I'm never coming back into my house. That's his outrageous. I'm not every I'm not there just about five minutes. I'm not there to care the kids do their own thing. They come out all wrinkly gives a shit about that. I don't know. You know what they're like it's have you ever seen everyone's like X-Men with a senator comes out of the water. Oh, yeah sitting like you just like terms of Bruce Davison is his name. I want you to know that okay meal time. Let's do it. Mealtime that's like from pardon the interruption Mail Time mealtime. Yep, or it's also mail time is also from like Blue's Clues Mail time. I heard I watch that today. Maybe that's why there's a new Blue's Clues. Do you know the Blues Clues guy lives around here? It doesn't shock me but I didn't know that is DJ Lance Rock the original guy Steve Steve. What? What's his address? Maybe I want to go pay him a visit. Do you? What are you like a fucking don't even know what he looks like. I never watched it hug, you know what that wouldn't be so bad go around giving people hugs. Yeah random acts of kindness and amount. I have that bumper sticker on my car except on the New York City subway, which case don't do that. Don't do it. No touchy. Don't touch it. It's like the it's like the Arrested Development. No touching. I made a me my that I made a MeetMe that once you should check out my Instagram accounts pretty good hundred eighteen. No. Thanks. No. Thanks verified our let's do this mealtime to mealtime Sierra Roxanne. I like that name not gonna lie to you Sierra SLE. It's like max power. It's like max power like max power. Yeah. I hate cooking them. Well, you know, she's talking about me. Okay, I hate cooking meals or even putting snacks together. My kids are always hungry. Yeah. A lot of people said this Timesheet and it's not just about mealtime is about feeding the kids. Right? So it's mealtime snack time. Veronica quigs said that feeding toddlers is the worst because 90% of the time you're met with me. No like yeah, my wife made him about that, you know like me no give a shit. I think was what she said under me not to my child my God, you know what? The best part is is describing me. I think that might be a new thing. I like it. Okay. I don't like oatmeal. Yeah, but that because what's the wolf are really one Quaker Oats diabetis. That's two weeks ago. We gotta Wilford Brimley West. So a lot of people would like to bring their their instant oatmeal to work and then use like the hot water cooler or whatever it if I can eat it. It's like eating paste. I don't know get out. You just get the fuck out of oatmeal. It's fine oatmeal's fine. Don't brag on oatmeal, you know, what as part of the oatmeal Lobby United States of Cats get to the bottom. Why are you so fucking defensive about oatmeal? Don't worry about it. I don't leave somebody I'm not part of it. Okay, we went on fucking oatmeal Thoroughly Modern says all the fucking meals and snacks and corresponding dishes Jesus fucking Christ. She's upset. I think she's upset she's pissed and you know what? She should be pissed because not only is she Thoroughly Modern but it name's Millie. Yeah, not really musical reference. So a lot of people complained about not only having to do all that stuff in the prepping and the snacking and how Sure, the kids were but about how ungrateful they are right though. The ungratefulness like so mrs. Thomas underscore says she hates cooking has half the time it never fucking eat it mama mama lacks. A Vita says cooking sucks. They hate it. Anyways, Ruby underscore low blow says she hates cooking any meal because the likelihood of them eating it and liking it is so low, I'd rather not I just I honestly am in I'm such a believer of like fuck like let them if they're sure. But enough but distant but these people aren't necessarily saying like they're making a second meal. They're just saying it's annoying. The kids are complaining. I'm with them. I'm a hundred percent with them. And I just I I every time my kids don't eat their food and then 20 minutes later like hey, do you have any goldfish? Oh my gosh, like you know what? How about this I get Joe Pesci on them. How about this fucking fuck you up? I'll fuck you. What are you doing? I don't know. It's not Joe Pesci, but I don't care. God is more about my life. You set up a cameo so earlier tonight. So my son has to get some medicine and then the doctor said he shouldn't eat take it on an empty stomach. So I got home from work running some errands and like picking up the medicine and I hadn't seen him since he's been home from school. Right? So I walk in and I'm like, hey, have you eaten? He's like no, I'm like, oh, yeah. He's like why I'm like, did you see something before you take your medicine? He goes, I'm not hungry. Then we discussed the medicine why he hates. It doesn't want to take it literally two seconds later. He goes to me. I'm hungry and I'm like What the fuck? What is I don't he's just being defiant. Right and he's not about because he's always hungry but he will say he's not hungry. If you offer him something he doesn't want or it's not a snack or whatever really like you're saying he's not hungry for dinner. But then he waits you out 10 minutes and wants dessert starving. Yes starving for this oldest tricks in the book. So Becky 4005 says what an unoffending unbelievably thankless job if they just sit and gag it down. You have to accept it as a win and God forbid you. Get any damn credit for making exactly what they like which they all like for like three weeks and then you make it for them and then they decide they never liked in the first place. And why are you doing this by the way? I'm cool with broccoli. My middle likes to walk around the coffee table. I'm like, all right, whatever. Wow she eat because it's so gross raw broccoli. No, the only way to eat raw broccoli is raw or or like broiled hard-boiled. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, first of all, yeah in the broiler gets crispy half. Why didn't you know more crudite though, the raw vegetables with a little French on your Ranch. My parents came from the German School of vegetables. Everything was that mean they would boil this shit. No gross. So my I thought I didn't know that beans were actually drill. My God hands Lucent for most of the plants like boiled spinach. It's like eating my shoes right now acts. That's I'd rather eat wax. I know me too and then eventually I was like Mom what the fuck and she was like, fuck you. All right, you know you got a lot of problems with swearing in your family and maybe we see maybe where you get it from. I don't know man. I'm just tired. So MPS muda says the she hates meals because of all the preparation and the cleanup. Yeah, and then you have to do it again a couple hours later. And a lot of people were like you have to do this three times a day. Well, first of all pain are we are we in the zone where we have found the best chicken nuggets to serve our kids like, you know, like we know we're going to serve them chicken nuggets. We know we're going to serve the mac and cheese. So are we getting them like a knees? Can choose a we just like fuck it? We're going to give them like do you think Annie's is the best? I don't know dude. I'm just saying we thought of it as like a Brooklyn thing. Is it anywhere else? Annie's organic? I don't know. I don't know but the point is it says in the fucking vinyl the and he's frozen pizza suck. I'll tell you that. What are your go-to meals for your kids? So like it's a you're too busy you're not eating with them, right? You're not having a family meal. You're going out the babysitter's coming. You want to feed them beforehand or whatever. What are they getting there getting there? Definitely getting pop some sort of Of pasta, my kids won't eat pasta. Okay again, some sort of pasta. Then they're going to get chicken nugget. How many courses do they get for in the five one? And then they're like Juice Box. No, no, no my brakes in the homicide what juice box of pairings who gets written second breakfast like who gets second breakfast. Nobody I'm saying you give them a pasta and then you give something after that. We do know I'm saying there it's like a calm but it's a full meal. It's pasta with chicken nuggets and then get gas and then fruit and everything. We don't do vegetables. At our house or fruit. Yeah, we got we do for my kids actually really like food. I don't eat fruit. But we got holes will do will do chicken nuggets and fries. We don't put a vegetable with it or will do Trader Joe's Fried Rice. It's carrots are pretty pretty now. We don't have cares you fried rice. Okay Trader Joe's because you can microwave video if you want. It's pretty good the chicken and it is in the best in the world, but it's Trader Joe's so it's not the worst. You know, right Nate. What are the worst my favorite thing is when we some every once in a while will order out for we get food from like like at I will get Thai food. We got like a rice or will go Make sure my or whatever we do that we do the same thing. My favorite thing is when my middle daughter were will take a bite and she'll be like, what do you think and shit? Yeah, not bad. Would you like another nope, if you like excited you're like excited. Oh my God. Yes, it's cool. We found something you like and it's Sushi Wow. I'll even give you some of mine too. Nope, not interested. Get the fuck out of here. Holly. Anchor says that when she was asked her least favorite parenting chores. She said 100% feeding the little little shits. I just liked it. I mean look if you're actually physically feeding them. It's absolutely brutal. I mean if you're in the newborn, I've actually done that thing where you like just you know, I asked me to do the train or I'll do slingshot and come fast Adam just I slow down before shoving his face hold his mouth open now, I don't hold him. I just go slingshot. He'll ask for certain things. Like it's the absolute stereotype. No not still there. Back in this is like a year and a half ago or whatever right? But it seems you will do you do you will do anything anything anything to get them to eat? But at the same time they're not going to starve to death. So are you the kind of person the kind of parent that would let your kid just you'd put the food on the tray. Just let them go for it like fingers like a peach just like between their fingers eating the one that doesn't happen anymore. I'm trying to remember if we would do that like I would I would twitch and die so So we used to do we still do so my parents when we visit my parents in Connecticut on the weekends at like five or six. I'm like Saturdays. They're older they'll do like they'll put out cheese and crackers and antipasto and stuff. Right and finally family and my son Detective Munch would started to call that a cracker party anyway to ask us can we have a cracker party? So sometimes I'm like Saturdays and Sundays. We were watching a movie. We put out cheese and crackers. Of our cracker party and then he could obviously those are finger foods. You can reach out and grab them. No, but you know what? I mean? I mean, yeah. Well, you're just like I don't care about the mess or how they eat it just of them getting their bellies fire. I don't I don't I admire the kids that can actually as opposed to having to sit there and feed them with the yeah, like they can just label. Sometimes they'll just milk it they'll just make you feed them. Even if they can pick up this Workforce themselves their bodies are covered in like the floor. I can't well. Yeah, we're coming up on cleanup and a lot of it involves. That but we're not quite there yet because I thought I knew something was a starry High said that one of the things that sucks about mealtime is that you're in charge like the stress of it's not just like I want him to eat what I made it's like for their own health, they need to eat and their work there will be some stretches where they won't and and you will make them anything at any time just because you need them to get some sustenance whether it's like Eggo waffles for dinner or whatever and that is true it is it can be pretty stressful. But you know what? Fuck em, yeah, you don't want to eat you want to waste away like Christian Bale or in The Machinist? Hey, yeah go for it or or Joaquin Phoenix and Joker he gets real thin and that too. Yeah, I'm sure evenly so we've basically zeroed in on there's a couple fruits and there's a couple veg that they'll eat and then we just kind of pair that with whatever what veggies carrots cucumbers beans will do broccoli. Sure. They'll do they'll do Broccoli beans, they'll do Brock. I mean my like I said my it's not a 29 year old is absolutely like dead set up. My son eat broccoli. Like you've never it's the most impure son isn't eating machine. He is kind of like it even he's definitely machine of some kind of machine from eight millimeter. I hope not not that kind of machine. That's kind of gross actually. What is machine-readable. Yeah. That's not a good look. All right, so speaking of eating one of our other big things with school lunch and having to pack it and my school for my son favorite hobby has thankfully done away with it and it's all cafeteria. So it's all free meals in New York. They can go get free meal at lunch and but then you have no idea if they're eating it because at least if you pack their lunch when it comes home on open, do you know, they haven't eaten it. I used to hate packing lunch. Oh, can I have that? Yeah, that was an accident. Don't I considered buying it and then I didn't look at this little Serendipity with the beers. I'd consider buying it. I'm like Pete doesn't like Stouts. Oh my God, you're gross little bells. So we got Bells too hard and got Bells Kalamazoo Stout Bells. Great Brewery, Michigan. Anyway. Yeah so school lunches. So when I was a kid, I got fucking Wonder Bread ham mustard, maybe slice of cheese cold cuts. I for I still to this De coca sandwiches junk unless it's got something special to it right roasted red peppers or something else going on like buying what like an Italian or something like that somewhere mushrooms, but like that kind of shit always turn me off and then I found myself making that kind of shit for my son or making peanut butter and jelly, which is the easiest thing in the world don't have to do that anymore, but it was so irritating and you always forget and it's like 11:30 or about to go to bed me like shit. Oh, you gotta make my kids sandwich. If you make it that morning every day. Yeah, because I love to fight with my wife and my family. Oh, I forget you. Remember I do just get the fuck. Everything is like through clenched teeth. But in the morning every morning is when you make their lunch when you make them all on Sundays, that's what people say. When are you moving the moon? So maybe we can't do what do you make you food to the bees? We should get the fuck up. You know what I got shit to do. No get some trying to watch The Lost Boys. That's right Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs impression also available on Cameo. Don't do that. It don't make them all on me in one day because they get gross as the week goes on and you haven't eaten them. That's true. But they're always Gross Fresh is better. I mean, normally it's fine. It's just the fact that they're constantly like they come back and they're like, what do you want for for lunch today? And of course, it's like shorter. What do you want your shirt? Are you 21 and this guy but then you'll make them specifically what they want. They want to know it. You just you know what you just summarized all of parenting you do whatever you can for them to make them happen if they spit in your face exactly what they asked you and that's it. So Aaron, this is an ascending Aaron pain. Joan says making school lunches is the worst it takes forever, which is what we were just saying, will he even eat it which were with George what we were just saying. Well the teacher judge me so the teacher sees so there have been I've seen some stories where like teachers have sent back notes being like this. She's in nutritious enough already. Yeah. Yeah, you can't well our school won't allow certain like you can't put I could any cookies you can because they're not not not because it's like an allergy thing. But because they think it's Michelle Obama's obesity. Yeah Coalition there but it is the Obesity Coalition. Is it a coalition of people that want to be a be so it's anti-obesity Coalition. I'm sorry. I misspoke. It's not a proof. No, it's not pro obesity because that would be if you were to be like purple drink. Purple drink gushers gushers. Yeah, is that a candy? We're noticing this was a drinker. Remember Bonkers Bonkers. Is that a candy? It's a drink. Of juice, it sounds repulsive. You know what you're in time purple drink in time Michelle. I don't know what purple drink is purple Kool-Aid. No, it's just like purple like the purple drank Juicy Juice. Yeah, it's not enjoy. It's like did not enjoy it. Like it's just like a generic comes in a gallon container just it's a color and it's a great cause it's gross my kid today tells me that one of his schoolmates can't have Artificial flavors so my kid is saying my kid was saying that she's not allowed to have like half the candy in the world because I'm like it probably more than half with the artificial flavors and I'm like why not and he's like because it makes her crazy and I think this is one of those things where like yellow dye number 5 or the chemicals and shit, right? Yeah, like in certain things people think contributes like ADHD or maybe even like autism or shit like that and they ice what I said to myself once I said, you probably shouldn't be able to That shit either but I'm a terrible parent. So I don't know that's what the president has been said that ship has sailed the horses out of the barn. You know, what you did why flip the script on your little sigh did and you fucking right back in your face bitch. Guess what dude you can't have this shitty there now boom and he was like Pikachu like what? Is that a Pikachu thing? Yeah. That's a that's an audio version of the Pikachu what because you know, and can imagine my face. I hope you're not imagining his face right now folks, please do Okay, so when we talk about the way that I can ever remember if it's Keith's not Keith one of the Carradine brothers the one who died from self asphyxiation, huh? David Carradine Carradine Cody David. He was in Kill Bill 2 Oh, yeah, and when she goes to his house at the end and seized him and he's making their daughter sandwiches the way he makes those sandwiches. It's like it's like hypnotic like he's like the way he's cutting the shit and the triangles and he's getting the mayonnaise. Or whatever the fuck he's making. I don't even like mayonnaise when I have a BLT I get it with mustard. That's fucking right delicious. It's got a lucky you it's perfect. But the way he's slanted on there. He's really elegant. It's really interesting. I like to watch right now code just as the Superman Clark Kent speech though is fucking phenomenal. Anyway, so we did school lunches then we want to do this was a Hot Topic the school drop off pick off routine pickup routine. You know what that means which is a which is a little bit different for for for for which is a little bit which is a little bit different in Brooklyn. Yeah, I could take the bus taking my kid to the bus sucks. Right? I have to get up early bring him out early and I'm going to work early which is fine. I'm used to it now, but like how early what's your early get up at 6:45? Okay, and he has to get it the but gets to the bus at 7:20 a school day doesn't even start till 8:30 or 8:25 or whatever. It just has bus ride is so long. Yeah, but a lot of people what they deal with is like School drop-off lines like this is Suburbia where there's like all this protocol for if you're in the drop-off line, you have to be in a specific Zone to be able to let your kid out check your kids at the door funny meme account. Check it out says School drop off is the worst two kids at two schools. Almost two hours in the car. God fucking hate it right. So the bus is so much more convenient hours in the car. You gotta drop one kid all you got both kids. In the car, you're bringing one to the school dealing with that shit. It's crazy. Wait, wait two kids at to school. Ok. So once maybe older ones young sure or ones in private ones in hmm. Which one is the better one? Which one do you think is the better run so he's got two kids in the car. He brings one to the school. He had to get in the fucking line. Wait till you get to the entrance drop the kid off. Then you leave the proper way go to the next school and do the same thing. Yes. That's what these things like circles as carpool drop off. There's all this shit. Moms on Instagram Hayden. Let me tell you. Hey, my I don't experience it. Let's listen, but it is a major source of contention because like sometimes people will get out of their car when they're not in the zone and like slows up shit people like driving too fast and speed and causing problems. People are getting in fights encourage. Roughly. It's like moms. Can I just drop hell is this like an airport? Taxi line? Yeah, like yeah where someone will get into a taxi that's like three behind and then the taxi will just pull out and Go, you know what? I mean? Like, I mean, they're not actual taxis, but there's an order and sometimes people will but in and do whatever the kid and all like, yeah it's early and then they'll pull out and like I believe something like that. Yes all sorts of shit like that. There's a lot of politics involved for loading and unloading exactly. And then are they all at the school gets pissed off because you're endangering kids potentially in the may be liable. I don't know but these moms hate it right. So what I thought was interesting so Well, there's a couple of these this isn't have to do with that stuff. But kkw 27 says I also hate school drop off my son always tries to pull the I don't feel good card like where you're about to let him out of the car. I don't feel good. So in this is what her response is. Yeah. So in normal parent fashion, I tell them if the nurse calls me because you want to be a little brat. I will spank your ass in front of her. Try me have a good day baby that's fucking twisted. And then she says doggy will get you off the bus and she had put in parentheses that doggy was her husband, but I also know from previous interaction with her. Let's her husband's Instagram name or his nickname is Lulu bagels. For some reason. This is the guy who thinks I cater to women this way doesn't listen to the podcast because we record on Monday Night Football. I also posted a story the other day where I was wearing a scarf and he said to his wife that scarves are for women. Watch the movie the other day and there were a couple like he's just like middle school kids in it and one middle school kid says, thank you and the other kid makes fun of him for saying thank you. So then this little kids nervous about saying thank you to anybody and later on in the movie. He says to an older kid. He's like, can I say thank you. I don't you think I'm like a loser the guys like what is like, it's just common manners because the other the first kid was just some weirdo who's like they're gonna fucking think you're a clown if you say thank you like it was the weirdest thing. A that you shared that with you're welcome. You're welcome. So what else do we have? So little charmer 80 that is interesting. She's from your home country. Ya Doin and she says we don't have the drop-off Lane. We have to park somewhere not at the school though because they don't have parking lights. Then you have to walk your kid. This is exactly like my school. By the way, then you have to walk your kid into school and stand in line in the playground until the Bell goes off and then the teacher takes the whole the them all in the class. It sucks balls you have to arrive in a specific ten minute window to early gates are locked late gates are locked in you have to go around. And front and report in late least that's what I have to do. Yeah, because and guess what? I no doubt that the gate the the distance from the gate to to the front of the front door where you go in is like half a mile. You know my God her do like my score this so for this points, so there's no parking. Obviously. We're in Brooklyn, right and there's no parking and there's this has always been an uproar for like a couple of years that you can't double Park. You can't block these streets. Everyone is constantly in the school Communications, right? So I park like a block and a half away at fucking steak. Was used to be Whole Foods and then one time I was getting back in the whole food Staples. Listen one time. I was getting back as hopeful as a huge lot when I'm getting back in my car at Whole Foods in the woman was like you didn't go in Whole Foods and issues. Like we've got your car Mark now like they're marked us for like getting towed now. We're on a list and take her where they see us again. So now I park at Staples and hope that doesn't happen after walk my kid five to ten minutes to the school's gone. That's tables is now Whole Foods Jesus Christ happening every location. Location. Okay. I'm not saying the location. It didn't more from Whole Foods in the Staples or vice versa Staples was my backup. Got it. It's further away. Or maybe it's not. But anyway, then you have to walk the kidney have to go to the playground and if you're late, you have to walk all around to the front of school and bring him in and get the fucking tardy Scarlet Letter. Right? And that's what the what little charmer a way from England says like like most of the things you really took all of the little charmer 80s Gusto. All right. Funny that her experience is almost exactly the same as mine and she's hungry hijacked it and then you made it you hijack that I made at her expense sheet few cents three paragraphs every week. She was very explicit and telling you her story and then you hijacked admit your story looking at all greasy pole Staples and holds God. Damn it. I did not steal her Thunder. We're sorry little traumatic. Oh you shut up. I look she goes on to say I feel suicidal and want to drink myself into So do I can I tell you about that charmer we are going to steal her suicide suicide suicidal Thunder you talk about that and it always rains. Of course, it's raining as we speak. It's raining here, but when it rains in the US and this is true, this is going to be a truism as opposed to the UK is it rains hard and the UK just dress rehearsals from just like rain is just I nearly said wallpaper. I think that puddle was there like two months ago and still there just never stops. Meaning it's just not as in size. Just damp. Have you been to the Pacific Northwest? Yeah, so actually that similar know so that rains much much and I think that actually rains more actually Paris gets more rain than what about the Rains Down in Africa They Don't Really Happen that much unless you sing about them at Christmas time. Great Christmas time is that they do with Christmas. Oh, I guess you're not a good Christmas. Maybe you're thinking of like John Lennon know it's Christmas. This time. Yeah, that's like Bob Geldof. Yeah, I'm really fucking tell me why I don't like mine days. That's Bob Geldof to Boomtown Rats. Yeah, but that's but then he went on to do Live Aid. Yes are made which both culturally relevant and as opposed to the Boomtown Rats of the I kind of like that song even that sort of terrible. It's also sort of not terrible. Yeah. It's catchy. I didn't do it justice. They're screwed up the melody and little charmer. It is going to be removed from England. I know the melody, you know what little Tremor ready send me another Fucking book on it. You know what? Yes steal your thunder again to because guess what she writes for a living does she could have used these from Sherwood Forest and Nottingham. You know what? There's not much sort, of course climate change. It's just a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese just basically English. What's your favorite Robin Hood movie? Oh the animated one their Disney World. I like that. Oh my god with the fox Maid Marian and the who denied ER we sing little songs like little John the monk. Yeah. There's a commercial with those doggies. I really like the Kevin Costner prince of Thieves. It's fucking great get the fuck out of here. You don't like it. Literally. I tried to watch it again your had recently. I was like the first hour is Be slow. But once he's in Sherwood Forest love that song by Bryan Adams. I do love that song. I used to have a mixtape with that song on it. There was what else is on it Dreams by Van Halen was on that November Rain. I think what no was not no big brain was not on the No No, I made a mixtape off the radio I'm saying with everything I do is on their November Rain. I may be mixing up a couple of different ones, but when he was like I am Robin, Of locksley and then he didn't do an accent. That's the way and then halfway through is like first of all, he didn't he miss his our peanuts peanuts. His hair is fucking phenomenal. We be honest. What would be honest? It's a good movie. His is it no, but it's entertaining. It's okay. Well because Christian Slater trout a good lines in it just later will Scarlet he was Fuck me. He cleared it. I told you that always bothers me because they do the Catapult and Costner and Morgan Freeman are in the Catapult and they both clear the castle and Kristen said it goes fuck me. He cleared it. Like he's just like not acknowledged. He was because the other guy stole his mom away from him. So his mom's affections. That's what happened. He's his half-brother. So in the animated series of mate doesn't like us talking about the rabbit of it. Have you ever seen the Earl Flynn one? It's legit. Good from the 30s. It's very good. Like there's a whole sequence in the banquet hall where he swashbuckling a swashbuckling around and in the sword fighting people and stuff is very entertaining. My dad showed me that when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah, you know what we do. We've gotten halfway through. I think we're gonna we're gonna let's let's do the other half. I win this round bitch. I was telling Pete before this that we had so many comments and so many grapes that we might have to break this into two episodes and that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna make it to what is it? So next week's episode. We're He talked or maybe not next week, but when we do second half of this, yeah, because we have two holidays coming up know it's gonna be a super sweet move is doing this and then dropping this next episode ever amazing that people are gonna fucking love it. We got home where we got laundry our teeth brushing, which I don't do a good job and all that which is why I've been at the dentist so often recently. Here's the deal people start getting angry about teeth brushing just start getting angry now about teeth brushing which will be happening in like Four weeks or are you a flosser? I don't floss a mouthwash. I've you usually have you ever used a waterpik. No, but I was told that that is that is you can mouthwash and that's the equivalent. There's no way I'd enjoy the mouthwash companies like mouthwash mouthwash Yeah by big scope - yeah, because guess what because big floss. Let me down because I heard so God. Oh my God the amount of blood. It's so to get stuff on my it's like the fucking phone. It's like the the grass of Gettysburg when I flossed my teeth. Is that inappropriate everything about that was gross? You know what Gettysburg was a fucking National tragedy good guys won Americans. That's right. We're all Brothers All right. So yeah, we're going to do the second half of this one at some point. Yes. We are until then know what we're gonna and then we're just going to say thank you so much. Oh wait, we're going to do comments, but we are going to do comments for okay, we're going to do listener reactions to our dumb insights. No, No to our previous yes to our previous insights Fortress episodes, which are last week was boys versus girls. Yep. What's harder? Dana bows Day loyal commenter and listener. They said I have two brothers and I was very happy to find out if I was I was having a boy with my first for my second I was so hoping for another boy found out at 12 weeks. It was a girl and I was pretty sad. I felt like I didn't understand girls despite being one. I'm not into hair and makeup and girly stuff. But luckily. Yeah, that wasn't the problem for her because her daughter is a TomTom boy just like her so I No, the point of the story. She's like I was nervous about having a girl because I don't get girls but I had a girl but she's more like a boy. So it worked out Diana. It's kind of what it sounded like right know what Dana I feel like it's time to come like come with better comments. No. Yeah. No. No, what do you think of tomboys into it? Absolutely. Listen. Oh, would you consider your middle kid a tomboy and she liked soccer. That's not a thing anymore. Come boys are like ones who like climb trees. And by the way, the best part is right? What did she say the other day? She go cause you know what frozen over I like Frozen because she didn't like she didn't have to rely on a board. Yeah. I was like, yeah fuck. She's a feminist good for her. Yeah, you need nicknames for your kids that we can use on the show fucking minute. I'll come up with some for older middle of it. How about that? Old Middle Middle young? Yeah makes a lot of sense actually. So J win who I believe is Jennifer Winn. Who's one of our patrons? All right. Here we go comments on Facebook and also apparently on YouTube says She has a suggestion that maybe for episode 50 or 50 to we should have our wives on to test my men are funnier than women thesis. I know you were kidding, but I would still like to see Mom and buried trounce you elal. First of all, I was kidding second of all no fucking chance. Yeah. No our wives would destroy us in a second the second they would start talking. They would be mom and buried will on here at some point make an appearance on here whether it's just barge in on me. And serve me a subpoena. I don't I don't know right once we get that microphone Jennifer which you're bringing us closer because you're a patron. Thank you. And she also says number two. I mean this in the most friendly fraternal non thirsty way, but you were both much cuter than Tom Cruise. He's the absolute worst in almost every way. So it was almost a compliment. No, hold on a sec. Can I just say that is a super tight mention of non thirsty. I'm thirsty see it's almost a compliment, but she's like in a brotherly way. Way, but also I think Tom Cruise is so bad that how could we not be better than them? Right? He's the absolute worst. So yeah, you guys are cuter cool. Great. You know what? Maybe I want to you you're feeling you're feeling this a lot I want and I think I'm just I'm super psyched that you used non thirsty because I think that's why adjective non thirsty. Yeah, because you know thirsty posts not it. I know what it means, but why is non thirsty so great. You know what you should do more thirsty Instagram post. Don't do any thirsty Instagram post you should do more. Well, I have a beard now and those do well in effect. Okay, thank you Jennifer. Jesse T says I don't know about everyone else's girls. But mine is a pain in the ass only six and as the attitude of a sixteen-year-old, that's what my son is like the sun is still a baby. So I'll keep you posted on his progress and becoming an asshole. It's fucking inevitable. By the way, I'm currently binging all the episodes love the work that you and in parentheses and Pete. She should just put that in like it the smallest possible font. I was gonna do Dude, help keep us sane while we contemplate whether or not we should have had kids in the first place. Thanks, Jessie. We're here to make it. We're here to are our own grievances it make you feel better about your decision because you are what are we we are shitty dad's probably 2 out of 10 on a like a good dad scale. Gorilla Rose regarding the boys and girls section labels at stores that Pete was vouching for my son recently went shopping without me and ended up picking out and subsequently wearing to the state fair and concert address that he thought was a guys. Long shirt. So while I am for the fluidity of clothing between genders, he was quite embarrassed. Once he found out what he'd done and I think the labels might help stop boys his age. So I was talking about how in Target they have gotten rid of some of the gender labels in certain Isles, you know, where you are. I don't think it applies to every aisle or to every piece of clothing. But apparently they did this section do by the snow but like a toy aisle they do but in clothing is different, right? Goddamnit, toys, you know what toys toys I agree but where a certain age some clothes are okay like that to apparently not the one that is a kid by what was it top? I just want to know if so gorilla Rose people. My dad would be like dude. What are you doing? Real arose should have known that it were her son should have known that it wasn't a guy's long shirt by the huge Indigo Girls decal that was on the front of it and it's clearly for a girl or one of your aunts. Yeah. All right. Okay Boomer. Okay Boomer and then Paula Paul ski had a topic suggestion for us transitioning from one kid to multiples it is it as bad as they say Yes. Sounds like we just did the episode. You know what that is a good topic and it is a pretty good topic. We should probably think about that shit go hard to remember For You especially going from 1 to 2. Are you talking about it's nobody but you're like I know but it's been a while because you went from 2 to 3, which isn't the same. Have you seen Strange Days the movie strange did with Ray Finds Its Rafe Angela Bassett and Tom Sizemore. I have I feel like we're getting closer to that time. I feel like we're in that time if yeah, maybe you know, I mean with this like memory stuff, but that's like the virtual reality shit. Yeah, bro second Oculus mixed with the GoPro but I disappointing movie at the time. I haven't seen it since I saw I definitely have a GoPro of all my kids like, you know the whole fucking thing. Have you seen the Black Mirror? The entire history of you arguably the best one we're taking the future and everybody has like a little implant, right and it records every single thing you see and when you like you're walking into a building security is like, let me see the last week of your life and you fucking go to and they see it on their monitors and then you can go home and they're having like a dinner party and he's like throw your fucking memories on the screen and they like like last week. We were arguing about this. It's not what I said. That is what I said go. Go back to everything you've seen. It's a really good at it's a one of the best episodes of the show get the but I would recommend there's a Best Buy in not Best Buy, but in bed bath beyond there's a cop cam. I'm going to get that thanks cop can like to put on your lip. Thanks. It's like a little like stupid for your kids. No, it's like a little like just records every interaction with your kids piece of shit camera, but it's called a cop cam cam cam. I like this cops are pieces of shit. Wow, no bold statement. Peter the cock will cover that one and episode 500. Thanks for coming around guys. Stay tuned for episode 2 of this at some point where we finish the rest of the gripes. Love you. See you next time. I love them. I don't put tonic.
What are parenting chores? Bedtime, bathtime, mealtime, making lunches, school pickup/dropoffs...the list goes on and on. Well at leas Mike and Pete went on and on and on. So much so they needed to break this up into 2 whole EPISODES!! This is just part one!. WARNING: some topics discussed may fill you with and all consuming rage. Enjoy! 