Hey guys, this is Lisa and Rebecca and we are here on the secret life of weddings. If you like drama, you're in the right place where we tell you the world's craziest, but true wedding stories. So get ready for the drama on the secret life of weddings. Hello screams, welcome to episode 79 of the secret life of weddings podcast. This is Lisa. And Rebecca. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. I was going to say or episode 2 of 2019. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah, but this is Lisa. That's Rebecca and I'm freezing because it's freaking one of those it's cold as balls. It is cold as balls. It's one of those aren't cold. So yeah, how did that even start? I don't know should we even did let's not do this. Let's not go down that road. It's a slippery one, but it's one. Those categorically Canadian days where I mean, it's the what stereotypes not that it lights negative 12. Okay, but you know, we do get like negative 20 here. I I'm but I'm a complete complete wimp. You forget the yeah. Yeah, it's cold. I don't like it. I don't like it. I had to bring the kids to school this morning. It's Justin's one day of the week and I'm just like dragging my ass out of bed. And yeah, it was not a bad I I wanted to leave this morning. It was so warm and cozy and lovely and oh man. I wanted that sleep. Hmm so much me too. Just hired. Justin calls me asleep monster because because I am yeah, you're a sleeper. I am a sleeper. I'm not a sleeper like, you know, I'm talented at it. Yeah. It's like my superpower. I'm not yeah, I'm not yeah, I'm good after like six hours. I'm good. What's your super power over six hours? Oh my God, really? Holy hell, hmm. Okay, what's your super power then? Hmm being able to go to the gym in a single bound ha ha ha I can't do that. I think that's a super power. No, it's not that bad. I drop off my kids at school and I go I can't get no except for this week. It's a had some clusterfuck this week. Well, this week's been because I've been here four to five times. We've been working a lot this week guys with the launch of the Pot and everything. Yeah, it's been busy. We also got to hang out with our friends on the wedding photo hangover. Yep, Steven dust out with us. I was so much fun. So we sat a are great. We talk to them like like like two hours but that was almost we were supposed to record that day and we were so tired by the end of the chat in a in a good way that we were just like you want to do another day. Okay. Yeah, so I feel so bad though, because I at one point I said creepy that Dustin was creepy. I In creep Emmett like mysterious and I feel so bad because they actually recorded that and I feel like maybe I hurt his feelings and I didn't mean it like he's creepy. I meant mysterious but I think creepy this is your opportunity to cut it out. I know sorry Dustin are you go exactly. Yeah. She didn't mean it. It was his Skype name was like that's what was creepy. It was like John Doe something but I it was he had it since he was like 12 or some there's a story guys if you a story behind that screen name which in fact An extremely creepy lesson. Well I said I liked it. You have like a creep Factor so it wasn't saying he's creepy. I said it's like a creep Factor. He's glad I have a creep factor and like I meant like a mysterious it's just as bad create almost worse. I don't mean he's not creepy at all for Dustin but also bad, but they're they're awesome. Those guys are great. And yeah, you know, there were so much fun. So their fellow photographers as well and podcast host. We love them and go subscribe to the wedding. Hangover, if you want to hear a little bit more from the photographer's perspective, maybe less swearing. I'm not entirely sure but I think I think they're not as I don't know that we were very professional because you know, this show is all about the professionalism if that's one thing I've learned over the last year. It's the show is about profile like I think I think our show kind of carried over there like it just yeah. It's like we were we were supposed to guest on their show and we were just like hey get on the bus. Let's go together. Yeah, but But you know what? That's what they wanted apparently so yeah. Okay weirdos. Like are you sure you sure and like 10 minutes and we're like you were you regret this, don't you? Yes, I know. Anyway, I was like, oh we're going to get an email saying we can't use anything what Rebecca said the moment we got off. They're gonna regret that moment of their life. But of the listen, I have to apologize I fucked up last last episode. No you did. Yes, I did. It and I had an absolute heart attack. You would not believe the terror of thinking that something that you recorded without editing had Yeah by accident. So some of you may have heard a rather unfinished version of our show last week and like I caught it thank God because my our friends Jessica and Kim in particular. I think we're the ones who wrote us and were like did you upload the wrong file? Because there's no music and you're talking under your breath, and I'm Like meticulous believe it or not. This F. This podcast is highly added it. It's highly it's loose but it's highly edited. I'm very careful with detail-oriented. So I was like, oh hell no because the moment I heard that I was like wrong file and I was like and I was like did I say anything really bad before? Yeah, sometimes we'll go off rail a bit and say something and then be like, I don't want you know, like maybe we shouldn't have said that or whatever but luckily we didn't but I was just I had an absolute heart attack. He's one of the cleaner episodes it was ironically but I Breakneck speeds running to my laptop to re-upload like to replace the audio file because it was completely edited and everything. It's just I picked the wrong stupid file. So now it's going into a whole new folder when it's it is look I do rename it. But yeah for whatever reason I renamed it the wrong file or something. And anyway guys, it was an Easter egg. So yeah, congratulations to those of you who got that download. It was a special edition Easter egg. Totally intentional for the long-term listeners who listen right away and oh my God, I had an absolute heart attack ice all over 600 downloads the moment. I was changing the file and I was like, whoa day. I was like, well, that's great. Jesus was and I was like, well the damage is done, so I'm not going to worry about it. I hope we didn't say anything, but I know we haven't had any angry miles out. So I think we're okay. But anyway guys, sorry about that. My mistake but I will try to be better. I said to my friend though, and I think I said to Rebecca. It's like, you know in a year and a half I did that one time. Yeah, so we're human sitter. Yeah, very especially this week. This week has been just balls to the wall crazy. It's been a clusterfuck. Yeah, it's been great. It's just been busy. So, you know, I mind cannot focus this week know if it was gonna happen and my husband said that to he's like you are like all over the place. For this week. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, we have a lot going on right now. So if it was going to happen it was going to happen this way. Yeah. Yeah, so it's done and I'm ready to get on with 2019 and of yeah, and the correct way for sure, which is good. I like it. Yeah. Hmm. So what else is new? It's my husband's birthday yesterday. Hmm. Do you actively will be lost next last week when this airs but no, we just stayed home. I made accretion dish that he loves and has you know, I'm fabulous like that. It only takes 4 hours could Fucking thing but geez, yeah girl. Hmm. My daughter painted him a painting which he loved. So yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I got him tickets to The Craft Beer Festival in Toronto. Oh, well who wouldn't love that, right? Yeah. That's awesome. And I was like, you don't have to take me and I'm secretly thinking she should be taking me. Of course. He should 10 I said, you don't have to take me to take a friend if you want. He was will you don't you don't drink beer? So why would you go and I'm like, oh, Uh-oh, Red Alert, Red Alert runaway steel right nothing. I said nothing because I was like, okay. Let's see how this plays out. I'm going to secretly text him and be like episode 79. Yeah minutes in yes from a friend. Yeah, you know, well, good luck Steve. Well, we'll follow up on that. So do you want to do want to talk about anything else before we jump in? I'm good. I got my brains fried this week. So I'm kind of sorry. I don't got a lot. I don't got a lot. That is terrible grammar. I'm gonna give you such a hard time for that. I because I have to I have to Lisa. Yeah, my mind is a mess. I know that's the first time I think I've ever heard you say that that's saying something right in the news. Okay. Okay, I like news. All right. So Global News I'm sharing this story because yeah, okay. Was that the intro? Yeah. Okay, Alberta couple with Maritime connection wed in front of lobster tank at Sobeys where they met, aw, isn't that cute the so B's in South Red Deer was her Lobster that was for all the friends people. I love that we so you're my Lobster. Now. You're my Lobster. Fuck her husband's the so B's in South Red. Deer was simultaneously a grocery store and a wedding venue on Monday afternoon as a couple tied the knot. In the meat department Travis has worked there for feel like there's a dirty joke there my head is not with it enough to come up with a she wanted his meat not let me let me sit on that and I'll see if I can come up with one for you by the end of the story. Okay. Sorry, go ahead. Travis has worked there for eight years four years ago. He met the love of his life on the job while showing off a crustacean. Oh, wait a crustacean or his crustacean. That's so bad section three days after meeting Travis. Tara came back to take a picture of him and his lobsters. Is she a lobster photographer the relationship continued to go swimmingly from there. Oh, come on. Yes to low low hanging fruit Global News the couple decided to get married, but where the majority of my family is back in New Brunswick? And the majority of her family is back in Manitoba. Travis said so really what's the logical decision meat department with a few dozen friends spilling out into the meat department Travis. Why is that so funny? It just is I don't know where they mail Travis and whose meat was spelling. Sorry, like okay, I have to say whoever wrote this. I hope all of this was intended. I really hope like really like it was always prefer assholes like us to read. Yes Travis and Tara tied the knot in front of the same Lobster tank where they first met. Oh my god did a tiny little lobster have the ring the wedding included a stuffed lobster to hold the ring. Damn it her hoof lobsters in love Atop The Cake. No, I wanted a real one. I wanted it to like a crawl out real slow and these things don't go fast. So I wanted it to crawl out of the tank really fucking slow come down. Like there's just string quartet playing 45 minutes later. The laughter gets out of the tank and finally gets to the front. There we go. Yeah, and then and then they eat him so there was photos now truly. Okay. Okay first thing it looked like people that were shopping just stopped to be a part of the wedding. That's kind of funny and cute. Yeah, and you know, they had like the lobster tank decorated with hearts and stuff. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Okay, who loves is like what is going on their wedding? I'm really not. Yes. You are all over it smearing it all over the meat department. I just you couldn't get married at home. They could have invited the lobster. They could have had them for had him. How time for dinner. Yeah, like, oh, come on. It's a pun a minute. It has been a long week hasn't it has I know and Okay, so Wasn't forget that they got married in so B's, you know people are getting remarried and Walmart KFC and everything else. I'd rather not forget but go on. What was the most troubling to me? Yeah was when she went back and took a photo of him and his lobsters sounds like a euphemism. Doesn't it? Like she they weren't dating yet. I don't know if she's ready days after meeting Travis Tara came back to take a picture of him and his officers. How do you do that? You go in and just be like like, he's me sir. I got a picture of you with your lobsters and he's like, you're my soulmate. Yes guys. The IR my Lobster, you're my Lobster the odds of that happening guys for those who are so fucking slimming probably low. Yeah. I mean great. I'm happy for them. They're in love. What have you they've got like five kids combined and stuff. Well meat department guys are notoriously easy. So, you know, they're always looking for it. But yeah, I'm happy for them. But I just I was just like wow, I mean that's that's all good for her. That's I mean, I wouldn't have the balls to three days after meeting someone come back and yeah going to take a picture of you and your lobsters and he's like that's not creepy at all. Absolutely. Yeah, okay. Hmm, you know, you're the seventh woman today who's asked me for a photo of me and little Poncho and I see your lobsters. Yeah, he holds it up. This is Pancho. He'll be dead in an hour. It's so disturbing to me. I can't even Pancho just seemed appropriate options on his way Pancho. Pancho is going to fill the bellies of this family. I feel like you should have a theme song You Know Poncho the lobster the the ring bearer Mr. Anyways congrats to the Lobster called five things. I did not think I'd be singing today. Yeah, congrats. Yeah guys. I mean you're married. They have five kids. Now you said no they have five kids combined from previous. Oh my God, where do you think she married her first husband like where the bananas were and like she went and took pictures of him holding his bananas. I bet he did it, but she did. She's like can I photograph you and she's known in the where's the woman who photographs men in the different departments? That's a unique couple there. I just I'll stop now. That's fine. I'm gonna renew my wedding vows at Taco Bell. Oh, can I come please? I really do you mind if I have a combo while I watch the ceremony, why do people get married at these places? Because Taco Bell? Okay, great. Yes, but can you not have your wedding somewhere else and order Taco Bell? Aye. I mean does it have to be actually at the establishment either probably just trying to get on the news. It's be honest. Well, I think that's the I think that's what it is. Yes to for publicity sake. Oh, yeah, like what obviously if you're getting married in front of a lobster tank in Sobeys. It's going to be on the news. Do you know why they probably would get married. It's a Taco Bell because they want Taco Bell the gift them free tacos forever. Oh, I bet right right for tacos for Life. Yeah. Yeah. So we have another story here. Okay, where's this one? Fine doesn't so listener. Sorry. Oh, that's okay. Just curious that there we go. Alright listener story. This story is one in which the biological father of the Bride had been in and out of her life the entire time. So a year before the wedding the bride tells him that her stepfather who has been her dad since she was nine would be walking her down the aisle like totally fair, right initially. The father was fine with this two weeks prior to the wedding the father tells the bride he Not coming to the wedding since he isn't the one who's walking her down the aisle, long story short, he ends up showing up in all black jeans and a t-shirt and his long-term girlfriend was also dressed like she was attending a funeral classy. They proceeded to not smile an any photos booed the bride and groom as they walked into the reception so bad. He's like this isn't half as good as that but wedding last we could talk. Go Bell and overall made rude and vicious comments for the entire reception loud enough that all the guests were talking about it and over a decade later. That's all anyone remembers about the couple's wedding not so shitty in spite of all the negativity being thrown at them. The couple is still happily married and eventually plan to have a small redo wedding at Taco Bell. I'm not going to let that go. That's just gonna be like, yeah. I think I've ever story is at Taco Bell that that that Terrible. I'm like, that's great. And she's like, that's terrible. Yeah, like that's your kind of a shitty person gotten that. You're a completely shitty person, you know, just don't go who booze a couple that wedding. Who does that introducing the bride boo? Yeah. Yeah, who does that? It's not fuck. It's not advisable people. Okay, we have another listener. Thank you to our listener for sending that in. Yes, if you have a story secret life of weddings at gmail.com. Yes. Yes. Mmm, tell us if you want your name or not. I'm currently in September right now. You'll get there girl. Yes, it's good. Okay, I would like to be kept Anonymous or given a fabulous fake name. Well, let's do that. Yes titty milk Tillerson. Just because when are you ever going to hear that name? Yeah. There you go. Sorry if your dude actually. No, I'm not I'm not the least bit. Sorry. Yeah, you might want to change the name according to the story. Okay a few years ago. I was dating a guy who was something of a Bomber got way too serious way to quickly. Love bomber. That's interesting. Yeah, does that mean like just just getting really serious quick? Yeah think I love your love is probably that too. I would think okay. Okay in hindsight. There were a lot of warning signs, but at the time I didn't notice we all have that problem. Yeah. We also had some family issues which are relevant. His dad was extremely sensitive and I think the kids including my boyfriend grew up expecting others to Walk on eggshells for their feelings the same way they had for their dad. I hate that I hate I was just about to say that yeah. Yeah. I don't want to get into too many details on this part because he is happily married now and I genuinely wish him the best and hope he's learned to chill out a little. Hmm. Anyway, he you know what? He probably hasn't know. She's on probably an actually like that type of person. He probably just found someone who's willing to tiptoe on eggshells for yeah. Yeah, that's it would Okay. Anyways, yeah, anyway relevant nugget from all that doesn't I got his twin sister was probably the most similar to Dad in that she felt slighted by bizarre tiny things and inconvenienced people as a power play. She's like is that red Jello on my tray is we didn't live near them and I was dealing with my My own version of this with the boyfriend, so I didn't really think about her until she got engaged about six months into our relationship. We helped throw them a small surprise engagement party. I put surprise in quotes because if the family had not thrown one, she would have had a fit incoming shit fit. Yeah. She may not have known the exact details, but she had a long enough history of being accommodated that she definitely knew they would be throwing one. It was fine both. Sister both sister, I'll call her Fiona and her fiance were in the military and in an effort not to be separated from each other when they were to be stationed elsewhere or you because they do get separated, right? They decided to get married on paper and then have a big wedding down the line. I'm not a huge fan of these personally, but I get it especially when it's due to military or insurance issues. She wasn't trying to hide it from anyone. And anyway, I was just her brother. Is girlfriend of six months so it wasn't really any of my business anyway, right? If only Fiona's idea of a quick on paper marriage to take care of the legal stuff was a destination beach wedding all in capitals. Oh dear. Yes. It was for family only but we'll get to that in a minute, but it was several hours away from anyone who would be attending her version of this legal Quicky Quicky also included tutor. Snow white wedding dress and a professional photographer. The guest lists was as follows her parents her sister her brother her fiance's parents her and her Uncle and Cousin and me. I had met her maybe three times before this. I am in her wedding pictures. I am a full proponent of inviting significant others, but this wasn't even supposed to be her wedding per se and I am cringing thinking about how I was at this. Emmitt, otherwise family only ceremony with less than a dozen people and now she's broken up with the dude. Yeah soccer. Yeah, I suspect the love-bombing. He was on the end of the photo so you can just take her out. Yep. I suspect the love-bombing boyfriend had significant input in the decision to include me which makes me feel even worse about it. My boyfriend. There are other sister and I ended up driving to the general region the night before but had to stay about 45 minutes away for other reasons. We were originally supposed to get ready with Fiona the morning of but she decided she wanted to spend the time alone on her wedding day fine, except she decided that when we were halfway through what ended up being an hour plus trip to the wedding ceremony site because it was a major tourist destination in a busy time. Oh good. Did I mention this was arbitrarily scheduled for right after Christmas. We hadn't even showered yet. The boyfriends other sister and I ended up taking our dresses with us into a Target bathroom to change on the way and I braided my hair to try to hide any grease Sheen. Sorry, why weren't they showered their religious was get ready the morning of with Fiona, but she decided she wanted a long time. So it's like they left and then they're like we have nowhere to go. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I'm like trying to shower in the Target bathroom. This isn't working. The wedding was very traditional. They had an officiant and did a sand ceremony took portraits and had a reception sand ceremony at the beach. They just get a kosoul Oka dip it down into the floor and go. Okay. Now you pour yours on top. Yeah you pour yours on top. Okay, let's just dump this shit back on the beach because it looks like crap because you know, it's not loose draw. Get the straw in the bottle cap and the cigarette butt. Yeah, yes or keep it forever in a glass. That would have been actually been really kind of funny. There you go. Yeah, right. I would have done that. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah and had a reception at a restaurant afterward. I still don't really understand the need for a do-over in this situation getting married early also ended up being pointless as she left her military branch two months later and was no longer at risk of being stationed. Away from her husband. The sunshine daisies had a half-assed wedding for no reason. I broke up with the boyfriend a few months after this. I wrote us note being like sorry about your wedding photos, but through social media saw that Fiona and her husband did have their do-over wedding a year and a half after the first different dress different photographer and much larger guest list. I'm not sure what the etiquette is for. Is that like a string and B string, huh? Interesting. I'm not sure what the etiquette is on. Inviting everyone to your second wedding who attended your first but I thankfully did not make the cut for this one. I don't know either like that's a good question. Yeah, it is a good question. I would say they would be invited with like explicit instructions to not bring a gift because yeah had you know what? I mean if they have brought a gift if you want to invite them again, you just say we absolutely do not want you to bring a gift. Yeah, please no, they shouldn't Barry get out twice. That's bullsháá. No, but we want to be you know invite you. Yeah. Yeah. I noticed that she must have learned something from inviting me to her wedding because my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend who is now his wife was not included in the family portraits this time around. Why don't they just Photoshop his current wife's head onto the original porch? Yes. There we go. See you see what I just did that. That's an ideal thing to say to your tog refer. Don't do that. Don't do what I just don't do what Donny don't does just it's just don't know no no, no my favorite part of this second wedding thumbs up Fiona really well. After having warned very traditional wedding attire at her first wedding and having been married 18 months at the time of this one. They did a first look. Okay. Well well, well that's whatever floats your boat unnecessary. Well, he hadn't have you seen her on the new dress who gives a flying fuck I am where I still like first Lux man. I do like first looks when it's an actual. First look but were they but if you're actually married her, all right, so what not that day. Oh my God, I like new outfits. I don't know but all this. Yeah, I mean I get it. I guess people do this first time, you know, I thought did she yeah like I don't know all I picture is that sand ceremony? I think I think I'd be more on board. If she didn't really have a wedding the first round and just like went to the courthouse and been like we just need the paper. No, but I think she half a And then regretted half-assing it and then yeah, it's trying to redo it. But let me tell you something. I'm married. I know and my wedding wasn't like definitely wasn't everything. I wanted right I have zero interest in doing another I I have pondered doing a vow renewal somewhere hilariously awesome. Like so like you know what? That button. No but like I could see going to Vegas and going to one of those amazing chapels with Elvis. Yes, like or okay or like somewhere that's meaningful to us like yeah, Southfork and Dallas so, you know, how you and your husband did those photos in Paris? Like yes that I would do. Yes. Yeah that I would do it because guess what my photographer sucked balls. Yeah, and I don't have any photos of my husband and I yeah, it was the really good decision so that I love that idea. I think people should do. That can I hear anything. Can I quickly plug my photographer because he was so yes. I love him to death. He was amazing. His name is Fran and he is the Paris photographer. I think it's odd that parasitic know what you need to do. You need to post a couple of your photos in our group I should say. Yeah. I should their amazing. I was really happy with their fucking amazing because we didn't we didn't give our photographer enough to act like it was a newbie younger photographer at the time when I got married and I was really thrilled with you know, what came out of our way. Ting photos but it was half my fault because of the timing but the point is we finally got some beautiful photos together. Yeah in fucking Paris. It's yeah so pretty so I will I had like a couple outfits and I got ya Ali sexy dresses and you know, it's fun. And yeah, so to Justin's dismay all share some photos in our group. Yeah because he loves being public but honestly like you those senior photos that made me want to get mine done and I you know, I know Not like my photo taken. I know at all. I know like we had to do our head shots for this podcast and I was like, oh, yeah your fatal talking against it. They were just like I know we have to do this but oh, yeah, I couldn't relax doing it. That's great though. Yeah. I definitely don't come off as myself at all. But I mean, oh for god sakes I'm looking like I jumped out in 1955 we both do that's the whole point. It's but Tracy did an amazing job offer. Oh, yeah, it has nothing to do with her. It's just Me I'm just not that not comfortable that into our zone of us photoshopping her favorite food. Yes. Yeah and the artwork was born. Yes. Yes, but yeah that inspired me to do it and all I could think was Couples need to do this. Yeah do is shoot after they do and I have done them. I have shot stuff like that. Yeah mind you not in Paris but here in Canada for couples. Oh, yeah. I have been married for whatever and they're not doing a vow renewal, but thought I want foot. I want to nice photos. I didn't want to. I did a 10 year anniversary shoot when you my humble who dressed up and rocked it in Toronto and amazing. Yeah, they had like a Lamborghini and like we shopping with Lamborghini and like all the sudden and their son was there and yeah beautiful, you know, it was a beautiful day. So, you know, that's a really cool way to celebrate and get a completely different dress. She was in like a sexy red dress and like yeah thing and I had a black dress and like one that with gold the kind of sequins that yeah on the back and you know couples out there. Let me tell you if you're already married. I don't care how long it's been a year or whatever go do that. It's completely different than your wedding photos. It was a completely different thing. It was really cool. And if you got a pair of look up Fran because he is like legendary there the Parris. Yeah prefer. Yeah, but I would say instead of doing a vow renewal like with a bunch of people and shit like that or do redoing your wedding go do something like that. Like I would do that. I know everyone's make their own decision, but I'm telling you look at least pigeon tell me you wouldn't want to do that. Yeah, I'd be shocked. If someone didn't it was fun. We made times over because we were there shooting an engagement session for a client. Yeah, they took us there and we did it was incredible and I actually had pulled an all-nighter because I was at the Moulin Rouge until like 11:00 p.m. That night. Yeah shooting them and then we went and got McDonald's with her in her wedding dress and everything was great. That's all for naught was in a wedding dress start wasn't wedding dress because it was engaged in session but it was a fancy a stress. Yeah, and we went and got Royale with cheese. Yeah, that's you know her in Pulp Fiction. It was it was so good. It was so good. That's a sketch. Yes area to yeah, you know that but now it's pretty sketchy never been there. It was late at night. Oh so cool. It was the most beautiful time. Anyway, I digress but I'll share some photos. It was yeah, it was a good time. Thank you so much for writing in that story to our listener are not animals listener are now we didn't give her a name. Yeah. Oh taking my medicine. Why? Okay, why are why were you crapping on my my name? Um, Just because about what the story was about. I thought you were going to come up with like no, I still like Teddy mcjunkin. Yeah. Hi ladies love the podcast. I have been binging hard love that listening in the opposite direction. Sorry, don't be sorry. I could I don't care. Which direction why do you think I introduce us every time because some people listen from top to bottom and some people listen from bottom to top. Yeah, there are no judgments here and just join the patreon for more. Thank you so much. Never thought I Be able to find another podcast where I enjoyed the host banter as much as MFM you guys are so funny. That is like the highest compliment I've ever had. So thank you. I've never listened to them. But thank you. I have so many wedding horror stories. My own was a complete comedy of errors that I can only laugh at now that a decade has gone by sometimes it takes that long my dear the craziest and most fun wedding. I ever went to ended it around 3:00 a.m. With a call to the fire department after a groomsman fell asleep. In a revolving door of the hotel staff couldn't get him to wake up Johnny Johnny Johnny thump. Oh, wow. Oh, that's great. You know, there's not a lot that my husband didn't do when we were dating and he was drinking a lot, but that's one that he hasn't done now. Yeah, no. No, he hasn't done that. Let's get something to Aspire to that's amazing. I almost want to fake that just to see what would happen, you know, like pretend to be Wicked drunk and then yeah, so the the revolving door. Yeah, you know waste and fire ya time. I'm sure that would go real well. Oh, yeah for sure. They'd love it. This is my official disclaimer, please don't do that guys. It's a bad idea. Those are all stories for another time. However, wow, that's not even the one we're getting. No, that's like I'm already happy. You've already done your work. Thank you for that today. I am writing about the world's worst wedding guests my aunt names and innocuous details have been changed to protect the innocent. Okay, mostly to protect me from her Insanity. My dad's sister is a person unlike anyone I've ever Thank God when you meet her you can tell she is clearly a little off. Imagine if Charles Manson and Ursula from The Little Mermaid had a love child. It would be my aunt. Holy shit. Now. I'm just picturing Ursula with a swastika like, you know carved in her forehead because that's that's about right for this story. We shall call her aunt car Charla Charla Charla Charla. I think Charlotte no Sharla. Okay. It's with the See, that's the thing. I have a friend Charlie but sheet that's with an S. So that's why I'm like, right. So let's say Aunt Charlotte. She is nice to your face, but never looks you directly in the eyes. That sounds weird. Although I know that can be a thing with some people. Yeah judge and says some of the craziest shit to you all with a smile on her face. Oh, that's creepy. So she's like darting eyes and smiling and saying creepy shit. Whoo. Yeah - yeah. Okay. She also. Golson instead of laughs I'm going to say those were Ursula comes in. She has no clue. She is batshit crazy. They never do she has never uttered a word of apology for any of the messed-up stuff. She has done not that people would confront her. She lacks any sort of rational thought which makes confronting someone like her particularly fruitless. I am one of five kids and four of us are married. Here is a smattering of what Aunt Charlotte has done at our various weddings and You just keep inviting her. Stop inviting. Yeah, just stop that's Aunt Charlotte has table. Oh, yes. She gets her own. She's at her own table so much that's her cocktail hour in this room this coat closet. We did a private one for you. So many things make her a terrible guest maybe it's her love of going off registry at my sister's wedding. She insisted on gifting them at the wedding the quote authentic African tribal mask that she got During her recent travels in the continental US so bad. Okay, pretty sure picking up something at T.J.Maxx negates any authenticity. Well put she has a ton of money. Please just swipe something off the registry. I don't need a checkered miniature tea sets, you know, someone got that because that's way too specific. Yeah, I would love to know what goes through people's minds when they picked this random shit. It how dare they like only what did what what what went through their mind that they thought this person would like this. I have no idea like it blows my mind. Maybe it's her love of ordering around catering staff. Oh, she just pissed me off. She has been known to call the venue to try and special order meals for herself for us to pay for of course, she will treat the waiters and waitresses like her own personal staff sending back dishes demanding different trays of hors. D'oeuvres be brought to where she and quote her guests are seated. During the cocktail hour or just asking for bottles of wine to be brought to her table. She called The Venue at my brother's wedding and asked if she could have a cake made and sent to her table with candles because it was her son's birthday. Oh my God, it wasn't his birthday. By the way. His birthday was six weeks away. Wow. Oh, yeah, she was hurt and horrified when we mix this idea because her son was out of town and it was Was quote the only time the family would be together what was wrong with taking five minutes out of the reception for her family. Did I mention her son was turning 36? Oh God. Don't worry her behavior extends to the photographer as well. Oh fun, uh-oh. Look out at every single wedding. She has managed to finagle a stage family photo for her only her immediate family. If you are beginning to think that well, this might be obnoxious behavior. It isn't anything that would Any real effect on the wedding saddle up, we're just getting started. Oh girl as a whole my extended family is not a punctual Bunch my sibs and I know this and purposefully started our weddings at least 10 minutes late. This extension of time was never more necessary than at my sister's wedding. The wedding was at a church. The church is set up like most where you have the exterior doors which open into a small gathering space and then the interior your doors of the church would open into the actual Chapel. My sister had six bridesmaids three friends Three Sisters, the processional started first bridesmaid walks down the aisle and Sharla enters through the exterior doors. She wildly and loudly says how high hugs my sisters and I as we are waiting to walk down the aisle while this is happening the second bridesmaid walks down the aisle as Sharla finishes putting her red lipstick all over my cheek. She Adds to walk into the chat and somewhere a makeup artist dies. Yeah, she decides to walk into the chapel in front of the third bridesmaid. Wow. He first think she is just trying to sneak in front of the bridesmaid to get through the door to walk down a side aisle. Nope. She starts walking down the center aisle waving it relatives like the fucking Queen. She stops halfway down the aisle when she realizes her husband isn't with her and then starts yelling at him to come on The Wedding Planner who was also probably having a corner wedding planner who had stepped away to grab the bride from the waiting room ran down one of the side aisles and in what can only be described as a restraint tackle grab my aunt and tried to escort her to the side aisle. This caused more commotion as Charla was utterly confused by this person trying to tell her what to do Charla ignored the wedding planner yelled louder for her husband and walks. She's like damn, Oh my God and walk straight down the center aisle. This leads to my wedding in which I hired the same planner as my sister. We thought we were prepared for all Sharla could do we were not. Oh my this woman is too much too much we held the ceremony until Charles arrived 15 minutes late ducked out head to toe in white. No, she didn't she did other than Eating a large I roll from me. I wasn't really bothered by this because it is par for the Charla course what bothered me was when I started my slow walk down the aisle and other than hearing the piano player chop Ali playing the wrong song. I hear my Aunt Charlotte angrily asking guests why I have on her veil and then asked another relative loudly if I had stolen the veil from her house at this point. I hear my mother turn around and say something to the tune of shut the fuck up to Charlotte come on. Love Mom the veil I was wearing was very special to me. It was my grandmother's Charles has mom it was a beautiful floor-length lace appliquéd man-to-man Tia style Veil. It had only been worn by my grandmother. I had stared at pictures of this fail my whole life and wanted to wear it as a gesture of how much I love my grandmother. Oh, that's so sweet. But Mantia veils are so So pretty too I just so you guys know if you don't know what I'm Auntie Avail is it's like with the veils with the lace all just around the face and all the way down. The edge is so pretty. I took it with me dress shopping to make sure any dress I picked would go with it and this bitch was ruining my moment. I shot her a look that I hope conveyed what I was feeling which was quote while there is a smile on my face right now. I hear what you are saying and I'm trying so hard to actively ignore it if you think for one second you are going to Corner me with your crazy rantings at the reception. I'm going to cut a bitch is after my own heart. Yes during cocktail hour. She went around to all the guests to let them know it was her veil and I had stolen it without asking a lucky few guests. Also got to hear her talk about how I went into her closet stole her wedding dress and cut it up. Up to make mine. What the fuck? This is so weird. Okay, you know what your aunt need some medication batch it seriously my relatives and own grandmother her mother told her to shut up and that it wasn't her veil and tried to explain this to her to no end the next day. One of my nicer ants even went to Charles has house with pictures of Charles has wedding and mine to show her. It wasn't the same. Her response was a shoulder shrug. Sorry, this was so long. Oh my God. Maybe I hope you enjoyed it cut out Parts. You don't want to use not happening SSD GM Lisa. The singer Rebecca's sincerely Anonymous. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. You are amazing. And the people I would not have invited that no to my running. I understand the family that aren't you you are. Yeah, you're a friend during that. I'm sure you were absolutely breathtakingly. Your ass ain't shit. I fucking Satan half because I think I would have decked my in. Oh, yeah, actually, I think my sister would have my sister definitely would have said something. Yeah, I would like hauled off. Yeah. Yeah, it's you know, somebody's got a deal with that one. Yeah, ideally a psychiatrist. Yeah, she needs. No seriously. There's something wrong not wrong. There's something we're past delightfully quirky. Yeah point. Maybe she's just a bitch maybe. Yeah, she's clearly not. It has to be the center of attention. Oh, yeah, Sola takes the stress out of wedding planning with free wedding websites your dream wedding registry affordable save the dates and invitations and easy to use planning tools. You can conveniently manage everything online. And in one place coach Soul was around when I got married start your wedding planning with a free wedding website. It's so easy and takes just minutes to set up. We made a free wedding website just to see what it was like and it was gorgeous. There are over 100 beautiful wedding website designs to choose from They fit any couple style and every type of wedding Zola makes registering for newlywed life. So easy. The Xolo store has the widest selection of gifts at all different price points. There's something for every guest to give guests love free shipping and returns price matching and more. You can also create a fund for your honeymoon future home new puppy or anything you want Zola also has the best completion discount 20% off remaining gifts on your registry starting right after your big day with so many planning tools. All on one site is Ola.com makes planning your wedding easier. You can build your dream registry on And put it right into your wedding website to start your free wedding website and also get $50 off your registry on Zola. Go to Zola.com secret life. That's zo L a.com secret life. Okay the story my name Tyler. Feel free to use my name - Tyler. I'm a big fan Tyler Tyler. I enjoy listening to you at work. I wanted to share two short stories with you. Cool my fiancé Kaylee wanted me to propose to her and very unique way. So I spent months making a video game for her to play. I love them. I used an RPG Maker software that had a lot of inside jokes and things that we shared together. I'll aybar her and all the nerd girls right now are going yeah OMG and I'm like great. What does that mean? What do you want to know our it's RPG is role player game. Okay. Yeah. I clearly don't play games that um, I bought her an I drink because she thinks diamonds are boring. I love that and was already for my proposal. I made the game to end with a movie of how we met and how we had our first date and my characters would propose to her. My character would propose to her character when I showed her the game an error came up. And I had to spend 30 minutes fixing it before she could see it and I blue screen of death and I proposed that worked out in the end, but it was embarrassing at a time on the if it's on the Windows. Do you know what happened to me? It would pop up with big fat letters saying in the very beginning being like proposed proposal dot exe is crashing and it's it would just be like well now she Nose. Yes. Yeah. Oh man. Oh, I feel so bad from that's a lot of work to put in. That's so great still though. That's so great. Yes cut to our wedding day. We had made all the arrangements and everything worked out fine. I asked my best friend Louis to be my best man. I was in college and he just graduated but was planning to come back to be in my wedding. I sent out invitations to distant family members and everyone I could think of the night before the wedding Lewis was supposed to come stay the night at my apartment and then leave from the church after the wedding. I hadn't seen him in a whole semester and anticipated hanging out again at 9:00 p.m. That night. He called and canceled on me. My I feel like we've had this happen before my wedding was tomorrow morning, then every single relative and friend. I invited didn't show up. My my dad had his 68 year old friend stand in as my best man. I didn't even know him. There were only Two people on the groom's side just get a mannequin and put a boutonniere nobody'll even notice it's fine. There are only two people on the groom's side my sister and my mom my dad is a pastor who performed the ceremony so that will forever be in the record that I had a stranger as my best man. Also, my wife's mother was 48 minutes late to the wedding. When asked why she was late. She said that she forgot to get ready in time. Oh dear. She lived ten minutes away from the church. And it was her first daughter's wedding remind me after this. I feel like do we do the story? No, okay. I don't think so. I just think we've had like similar stuff. Yeah, remind me at the end. I'll tell you I'll tell you one of my little stories. It's just an anecdote and I don't think it really matters cool. I'll just tell you it's about a late late. Yeah L8 family to a ceremony reminded me it's fine. Now, we have been married for five years and have two amazing daughters. We couldn't be happier with each other. Our relatives are a different story PS my sister had a wedding and every relative. Across the country showed up most of them traveled hundreds of miles just to see her she had well over 80 people from our family. Most of them were surprised to remember that I got married. Excuse me. Oh, that's so sorry. Why? Is there be shitting on Tyler? I feel like I told this story already know but I think I've just read it so many times. I think you have just read it so many times maybe no that's that's a really cool way to propose Tyler. I'm Gary. It's screwed up. Yeah doesn't matter. That sucks. Monkey balls doesn't matter. Her and I think it's cool what you did? Yeah and congrats to you and Kaylee because that's awesome. Poor guy came wedging the stress. Yeah, that was a runner in that moment. Oh, let me tell you just because it's kind of related. Yeah, so several years back. We had we had a couple and they were getting married on a day when the Gardiner Expressway was shut down. Mmm. Okay. So for those of you who aren't Toronto folks the gardener Expressway is kind of like the one main Highway that goes to downtown Toronto from the West End. Yeah. Okay. So everybody sort of lives either east of the city north of the city west of the city and then the south of the city is they'll actually click on tastes really hard to get into the City without this road. Yeah. There's basically two roads that go. Yeah Lake Shore Boulevard right actually runs along the lake along the bottom and then there is the gardener which also runs the same way, but it was closed. So it's like generally speaking traffic Scrappy in the first place. Yes. Yes, and it's already stupid. You got blue. Jay games. You got events. You got it just everything and you know, Toronto traffic's been notorious for a while now. Yeah anyway, so they didn't know but you know maintenance the spring maintenance are what God knows whatever or a marathon or something shut it down but all day. Mmm. So here's the problem. They were getting ready in the West End. Their ceremony was downtown Toronto and their reception was back in the West End. Oh for shit's sake. So we were all on Lake Shore Boulevard only. Yeah the entire way. Oh my God, we all manage to get there except for the groom's parents. So the groom's so everybody's in the church. We're all waiting and the groom's parents are the poor things or on the road. They're doing their best. I mean, yeah, everybody's kind of coming from different areas to This so you could tell though the parents didn't really get along. Oh, no, the bride's parents and the groom's parents and it's not that they like I don't think they like hated each other by any means but you know when you can tell when they have an affinity for one another or if they're just very different in their backgrounds and they clearly haven't bonded. Yeah, and they're just like we kind of don't get them but that's fine and we kind of don't get them but that's fine or yeah, I have one that's a little rougher than the other. Yeah, so this was sort of the situation. Shouldn't and then the they were they were in one car together. No, okay. The bride's parents were at the ceremony. Okay, looking at their watches going we're holding up the ceremony from the groom. Yeah, the groom's parents everybody else all their families in the church. And also let me clarify the background of this family. It was their background in the church. So all their relatives all their religion, right? It was their church. It was that like it was their side. So they almost feel like disrespected to write not really disrespected at all. Everybody knew it was just you know, they did no no, they were just they were anxious and pissed off in the sense that like they just wanted to start. Yeah. They just wanted to start the ceremony so they must have thought a little bit. Well, we've made it on time and so did everybody. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. I know is that I don't think they gave a shit. Yeah, they her mom comes up to me and goes they're not here. Should we just start without them and I go probably not. This is the groom's parents. Yeah on his wedding day his one wedding day and I'm like you're asking the photographer whether the wedding should go forward. I got like there's like I'm not even a planner like yeah. Yeah it alone. Anybody who should be making this decision on behalf of the groom's parents. Yeah, and I'm like probably not it's his one wedding. So you should probably wait if you can you know, yeah So eventually and I was like, you should probably go ask the bride and groom. It's if they were asking me kind of like, yes, we should clearly they were going to be like no, you're such a bitch. Are you serious? You wouldn't know you wouldn't know I would do I would have been like you should ask her daughter it got worse though, because anyway, so I was like probably know. So anyway, really sweet couple to yeah, so the groom was really kind. Anyway, they waited thank goodness the couple got there that his parents and then they proceeded to get married because because the mother was like because this really this whole Ceremonies for our family anyway, that's what she said because because of this the rules there's some the background right the fact that was a religious ceremony and every yeah, it's basically like they're doing it for a for us anyway, so they don't really care about it. Yeah inferring I'm thinking Well, they probably care. Yes ceremony. Anyway, we all get back in the car all our photo time, of course is eaten up traffic getting back to the venue. Of course. I am in haul ass moments where I would say. Yes, you're such a bitch. I'm just kidding. Hence why I'm in like haul ass mode. Yeah, but it gets worse because then the mom is in a terrible mood, and she didn't want to move the photo time or something and this happens. Sometimes you have to deal with family and one of the reasons I left wedding photography be honest. Anyway, it just gets stressful and you just don't love you anymore fucking Swell, so I said, okay we have to quickly get you know, the family formals done after we have to we're losing the light. We really really need I need need the couple now or we're not going to get it done. Like I usually we're supposed to do family foremost first. Yeah, but I decided it was best to flip a couple was like absolutely of course, whatever you think. Yeah, so I was like what, you know whipping around doing this and I don't have time to argue because you know, the reception is starting in a minute their whole cocktail hour got sucked up by the yeah. So anyway, the mother starts pitching and absolute shit fit because her photos weren't being done right then and they were like to the point where she was like, I won't be in them and she like refused to be in the family formals. And then the mom of the Bride. Yeah. Yeah, and I think she was either threatening to not be in or she decided not it was several years ago, but didn't end up being in them. I can't remember. I feel like probably because I would have remembered if she completely but she threw a fit and said she wasn't going to be on them for a long time God what is wrong with people? Anyway, the point is it all worked out. Yeah, we handled handled it because yeah, it was experienced. Yeah, kept the bride and groom FY wedding photographers are like jack-of-all-trades. Oh, yeah, we have to handle family drama. We have to handle everything. Yeah. I'm trying to like break it up and just be like, it's cool guys. We can do it. We're gonna do them right after I had to start putting my foot down with this mother. Yeah. I was like, you know, anyway, they were the sweetest couple and they're beautiful and I'm sure they've probably had a family by now and whatever but they're anyway good luck to them and There are great. But I was just like, you know, sometimes wrenches are thrown into your plans, you know, highways are closed. You have to roll with it. Yeah. Sure. Your parents are there that would be the photographer gets stuck on an elevator like that like that and when that happened to you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So I just wanted to share that with you. I thought that would be fun. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. My God had shared one of her soul stirrers so much. Drama family Dynamic. I don't like drama because that's kind of what we do. You know there is drama. There's drama at every wedding. I don't care what wedding it is. There's always something drama. So we want to do a read it rip now. Yeah, but this is a bit of a special Reddit Ripa's. Yes. Okay. There's there's a reason we're doing it. Okay. So before you go into the rhetoric Lisa, yes, I just want to let everyone know we're starting a new saga next week. Okay. Yes. Yeah. I'm very excited. Any teaser no, no, okay. I didn't have much hope because you know what? I figured out what if it's--it they'll good. Yeah little screams. There you go and Google the shit and read it all you sound like John Wayne just there. Do you know that dearly you did? Yeah, that's kind of I can do one. Yeah in can do a voice. Yeah anyways, so I'm not going to I'm not there's no two more teasers for sagas because you got to wait to hear it. And then after that you're right, I that was my fault. I should not have asked I should have no no, I should have known I just knew how everyone is they can't wait. So you said that before? Yeah going to stop talking. Okay. So anyways now we're going to do a rep now. This has been circulating all over the wedding groups and read it everywhere this whole nightmare story. Okay. So what we're going to do is we're going to tell the first part in our main episode and we're going to tell subsequent Parts. Yeah. And patreon just because I know well most of the people yeah, whatever. This is part of the where I'm going with this is part one if you want to hear extra like if you like the story and yeah, you want to hear even, you know more in depth stuff. We're trying we're just trying this out for fun. The Reddit rep can kind of stand on its own right and then it's like if you want to hear more detail hit up the patreon and check it out patreon.com slash E.coli for weddings before we get into that. I want to say thank you to our new patrons this week. Thank you, too. I'm going to pronounce this badly MZ. So Ms. Benzedrine, then the green Benzedrine Carla s Marianne L IV n and Azalea see they went to patreon.com slash secret life. I mean, why do you interesting names it to definitely extra half-hour episodes every single week and doing an extension of of this so it's going to be good. Yeah. So Rebecca, how bad can a wedding invitation be? Oh this one's pretty Bad, okay. I was assuming it wasn't good. I received an invitation to a wedding about mid August of this year that has me completely puzzled confused and a bit pissed off starting with the invite. Every line had a different font styling color. Oh my God. I want to barf in my mouth. Right right as if they used every font in Ms. Word to design it. Oh, okay. Do you remember WordArt? Yes. Oh man. I hope that Use the blue word art, you know, it's a blue the blue and purple that goes on an angle. I used to those used to be all over my book reports. Yeah, just saying 90s kids reunite right now. There you go. I'm not talking about those cool do-it-yourself invites that you see on Pinterest. I'm talking about searching through every font style than Ms. Word has to offer and using it. It's very very odd and basic computer looking the it's like comic songs all over the place. Yeah. Yep. The place is classy. No, no when you get When you want to go classy Papyrus all the way there's nothing that pisses me off more than driving by a storefront and it's usually like a basket store something and I look up and it's fucking motherfucking Papyrus and their logo is just Papyrus with their work. I don't know why people are still using it. They think it's fancy. I don't it drives me crazy. It is not it's not guys get a logo the background is very juvenile pink and purple with confetti. Oh my God. I love it. Very close to a party invite and Not a wedding invite. I typically do not give any type of invite this much attention regarding its quality or look but this one stands out it says this quote Ted and Mary are getting married on January 11 2008 2019, please one is that is that today? What is the date? Oh today is it today? Yes, amazing. Wow, when this drops it'll be last week, but but we're recording this today Ted and Mary are getting married. Yeah, wait. Wow. That was me. That was so meant to be please RSVP by 11:15 18. Our registers are online at blank. This font was size was the largest of all the lines join our Facebook group page for the latest updates. Then there were eleven pieces Heats. Would there be to a wedding? Well, there are updates people have people have wedding websites like for Zola. No. No I'm saying like we're to stay where to stay things to do in town register, but that's usually Lee what like Zola is awesome for that because it's a whole and cubs things like that you do at once. Yeah, but like dates on Facebook page, I think it's just instead of a wedding website because it's a group page Facebook group. Go to Zola people go to Zola instead code Secret Life. Anyway, just saying get 50 bucks, whatever plug plug plug plug plug, but then there were 11 pieces of paper that came out of the envelope like confetti each one of them had a registry Target Walmart Bed Bath & Beyond, Williams-Sonoma. Burlington Coat Factory Macy's Zola. There you go. Nice pottery. They should have just used my website. Yeah, no kidding Pottery Barn it free. It is free. I put Zola on there, but they get a free website. So why wouldn't you use it actually to be fair? This was back in 2018. I don't know if they have the web sites yet. Hmm. Yeah. Okay. Okay. We'll let it slide. It's fine Potter. They do now though Zola.com Pottery Barn Amazon Wayfarer cratenbarrel. I am in disbelief about it all and frankly real. Okay. Hold on a second. I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on this little okay, if you say Zola one more time to write the face only because Zola has all these brands on there. I'm a smash though. I don't know why they listed on I don't think they're too bright doing all they had to do is say go to Zone. I know it's stupid. I know it's so stupid. No, it's dumb. I'm okay right now calm it down. I am. Disbelief about Allah loves me. So it was like we want to renew for four years. I am in disbelief about it all and frankly really confused and E2. Yeah, I bet you are. Is this a wedding invite her engagement party? I thought it was a mistake and maybe a hold the date as they just got engaged on July 4th. The invite is five months in advance. Yeah, that's weird. Then there is no location or time. So what time are we supposed to show up? What if the location is too far for us to drive on Friday Also? So who puts their registry website on a wedding invite additionally, there is no RSVP card to return so many questions. This is a bad invitation. So many questions about this invite. I'm super confused and have my husband called Ted as they are the ones who are old high school friends. He confirmed that these are the wedding invitations and that we need to scoot over to the Facebook group and stay updated as soon as they get a location in time. They will update the group lovely. Maybe don't do that five months in advance before booking any Thing so basically right now it's a we're getting married on the state now. Send us gifts. Yeah, no kidding. Right Jesus I go and scope out the Facebook Wedding Group page. It's so bad. Listen. What I am not telling you is that we are all 49 years and above. So a more formal wedding invitation even on computer printed paper would have been fine and I wouldn't be here a fucking Evite and Evite anything correctly, but the whole wedding is becoming a Ation rather than a celebration and I think that is where my real feelings are coming from about this invite. The group page has all the things you would expect at this point such as their dates. There are 11 registry links pictures and each one is just a photo of the piece of paper and something you can fix with just one using Zola but now almost daily are quote demands for items that include links to a specific. Item with LOLs from the groom such as quote. I really hope you guys get us these set of dishes or I won't have a thing to eat off of loll or Mary needs a vacuum real bad. I'm a big slob in our current one broke because of my lazy ass, LOL. Oh so really bad humor awesome and using LOL not correctly annoyingly. I should say not not incorrectly. Now maybe at this point you are saying to yourself gee you are being really hard on this guy maybe He doesn't know any better. Maybe Mary doesn't know any better in you were being complete douche to this. Couple Welcome to our fucking world. Thank you very much. Every word dish to everybody. We're everybody thinks everybody who doesn't get this podcast. Thanks for a complete douche bags to everybody. So that's fine. This is fitting it's working. Yeah, maybe he doesn't know any better. Maybe Mary doesn't know any better and you were being complete douche does couple. My response is this this is his third wedding her first they both know better at this. That we are not filling up a young newlywed couple but a bunch of old farts who just want new stuff, but I was a little wrong. I was a little wrong in my assumption and you would be right sort of I ended up checking out each of the Registries. Wow, every registry has the same items but different brands each has two models of vacuum cleaners two models of dishes two models of pots and pans blenders towels. The comforters Etc. I am in disbelief about it all it's so excessive. What are they going to sell it on the black market out of the back of it. I figured it out what they want to earn it for money. No, they're two friends. That lives separately. Oh and decided to have a pretend wedding. Uh-huh. I do registry and they each get one thing. That's smart. That's smart. Yep. Okay, you clever girl or kalev? Of course, the mo the more obvious thing is that they're going to take the other one back. Yeah / money will do in the meantime a whole bunch of Facebook drama is happening. The quote best man is doing a bunch of check-ins with photos with the groom. Are dominating the page and some scene seemed inappropriate along with the comments. How are they inappropriate? You ask? Well, the quote best man is really the quote best woman Jill who has been Ted's best friend since high school too and knows my husband very well a ton of people are responding to the photos that it doesn't seem right that Jill is taking away the attention from the bride two of the photos gilis sitting on Ted's lab and another she's pretending to do him from behind while standing in tuxedos. That's classy. There is a few there are a few others, but they are along the same line of poor taste and inappropriateness the board blows up with Jill screaming and having heated arguments with people on their comments among Jill's outbursts. One of the things we find out is that Jill made the invites and registered with only the groom to all the places marry only registered at one place with Ted Jill went around doing all of the Registries with him what lots of people are dropping. Out of attending this wedding because of Jill and mind you. It's Mary who's the bride a nutshell at this point? I told my husband that he had my permission to go, but I was not interested in the drama. I sincerely do not know Jill nor have I had any interactions with her, but I was just not interested in the drama Jill seems psycho. I first encountered Jill's Insanity about two years ago. Ted's mother passed and my husband and I were preparing to attend the services. My husband had not spoken to Jill for almost 30 years and completely forgot that Jill and Ted were friends when out of the blue. My husband gets a DM from jail that says Hi, I found out from Ted that you and your wife will be attending the funeral services. You were more than welcome to come, but your wife is not well. Whoa. She's friends with Debbie. Someone who wronged me pretty hard, and I have no intention spot of upsetting Ted by having your wife's presence remind me of her. Thanks, and I look forward to seeing you. Of course. I called Debbie and asked her. Happened. Basically Jill doesn't like to be caught in her lies. And Debbie was able to provide proof that Jill was lying and lying for years Jesus this deep. No wonder you're like let's put the rest in peace your because we figured out that Jill assumed that Debbie must have told me this, but she didn't until now to sum it up Jill brought attention to some drama before. I knew it existed and Banned Me from the funeral. My husband responded to Ted directly and said that if I wasn't invited that he wasn't Going he was too old to play Jill's games and I was family and much more important so we didn't go wow. This is long. Uh-huh. Okay, I'll keep going. I'm used to read it rips litter sure. I was like, all right. It's like we're at the end just like no no got to rehydrate got a little in gotta settle in. I just got to get comfortable, you know at this point with my history of the funeral and all the weird Facebook. What wedding group posts were Jill is being argumentative with everyone. I said to my husband that I'm convinced that Jill and her having an affair, which I think was the natural assumption. And right guys, yeah. Mmm Jill has been married for about 18 years with three children. Oh, what do you think? Yeah, when Ted first came back after the divorce. She was all over him. Her Facebook page is littered with pictures of them together and always doing stuff her relation or sorry her husband is not even listed in her relationship status, but that's weird. They just celebrated his 50th birthday. And there's only one picture of him that is a side angle. The rest is of her and Ted doing stupid stuff at the party also, she He doesn't have any posted pictures of the children either. It's weird. She's weird. I tell my husband that I am convinced that Jill and her having an affair because no one can control a man this much if they are not sleeping together. He agreed. I love your logic. He agreed and declines the invitation via Facebook. So where is Mary the bride in all of this? We don't know either. She doesn't post anything on the Facebook page. I ghost her page to see not many posts and then about the wedding. Who knows what she's very quiet for someone getting married soon. Huh? Weird. Does she even exists? That's when I'm starting to want. Yeah Facebook explodes daily and we have to take ourselves off the notifications as they are out of control and interfering with our lives. Can you imagine the notifications now that she's posted? Yeah, no kidding. Probably the wrong move. If you don't want the notification we decide to send a gift instead and just move on without attending I One of the dish sets that the groom linked on the Facebook page as it went on sale Labor Day weekend. The dish set goes directly to the groom's house. So I thought it turns out that it went to Jill's house because when I saw the signed receipt that someone accepted the package it was her name unless she was at his house. Mmm. I was confused. I sent Ted a quick note on Facebook asking if he received something from us and just today about 10 days later. He finally replied with got the dishes. Thanks. Cool. So with after all that pleading on the invites and on the Facebook Wedding Group posts all I get is that as a thank-you really dude. Not sure why he just doesn't come out with this wedding is fake and wants to be with psycho. Gel. Boom. Wow. Yeah. I'm like fucking tired. Yeah, that was epic. I threw you in there. So there's there's more to this. Yeah. They're it's like seven Parts. Oh my Yeah, holy hell like I don't know if we're going to do them all but yeah, anyway, you're good at picking out the most logical stuff to you. Yeah to continue with so I like to think so you are you're great at that. So yeah, so we'll see. We'll see where we land with all that. We'll see. Thank you for listening guys. Yeah. I'm tired. Now. I got to go take a nap. Yeah, except for we have to record the Patriot. We're gonna record the Pentagon. Yeah. So again, if you want to hear more of that story go to patreon.com slash Secret. If of weddings and sign up, there's also two episodes in the beginning two or three that are completely free. So if you've been judged everything and you have nothing else to listen to go check it out. We have early releases on Mondays for the 8 dollar level as well, but 3.3 dollars and you get an additional half-hour episodes. There's like 30 or 40 now like it's getting crazy. So yeah, thank you for listening to episode 79 of the secret life of weddings podcast and Rebecca anything can happen at weddings, and we will be here to tell you all about it. Well, that's it for us this week on The Secret Life of weddings podcast. If you need more drama in your life go over to patreon.com slash secret life of weddings to sign up for additional weekly episodes. The first few episodes are free. So go check it out patreon.com slash secret life of weddings, and we will see you here next week.
SKIPPERS - jump to 9:15 to begin the stories! A story about a couple who fell in love and wedded in front of the same lobster tank. A listener’s tale about a mean father who crapped all over his daughter’s wedding out of jealousy of her step-dad. A half-assed destination wedding, a groomsman so drunk he passed out and got trapped inside a revolving door & a crazy rude high maintenance aunt who accuses her niece of stealing her veil during the ceremony! We finish with a romantically hilarious story about a beautiful proposal via video game … until it crashed! Lisa tells one of her own stories about parents late to the ceremony and the mother of the bride’s unorthodox solution to the problem & the absolute worst invitation of all time! This episode is brought to you by Zola, the world's most kick ass, free wedding registry & planning website! To start your free wedding website and also get $50 off your registry on Zola, go to http://zola.com/secretlife  Want more Secret Life of Weddings? 