Tell me what we're going to make tell me what I'm trying to tell you that cabbage what we're trying to calculate that average. If it aint to innovate - well scrap. So tell me what we gonna make that match tell me what we're trying to take that cab what we're trying to calculate that average and if it aint to innovate - skrappe intrinsically detail embedded in these things land of milk. Hi, everyone.I'm Melissa Dewey and welcome to poets return this week for our very first episode. We're featuring a local Los Angeles poet who discusses the ins and outs of self publishing your work and sharing it on social media which are two huge things a lot of local artists and writers everywhere are looking into doing more of Kate Strauss writes about a multitude of topics ranging from social anxiety and addiction to body image and learning to love our own voice. Her book of poetry is titled - why? And I was fortunate enough to hear Kate share some of her words in person. All right, we have the lovely Kate Strauss on poets return. He'll okay. Hello. And if that belief, excuse me, oh both are fine. But we always people are was like, what is that? I'm like, yeah. That's my last name. It's weird. So Kate is an amazing poet. She publishes her work on Instagram. She's self-published and she's here today to actually show we're going to share some of her work talk about her process. And just kind of dive into attacking poetry on not only social media, but just getting out there and sharing your words as yeah, Gary, even if it's one person can be it can be it can be exactly so if you also just for everyone to know I like to get this out of the way, so, it's Kate Strauss poetry. Okay atest are a u.s. Spoe t Ry exactly. Yes. And now how do you say is it - its - why - why? Yes, so every chapter in my my book is like Hardy like heart - why cheeky like cheek - why shitty shit - why so I didn't actually come up with that my friend came up with it. She was like every one of your chakras is like - why you should just call it - why and nobody gets it people call it like - it's fine. It doesn't bother me at all. It doesn't make any sense. But like hey, you know, it's like when people say Bowie is bougie and like weird that G come from but that's bro. I love that idea. So tell me about how was your friend you said came up with that idea. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, one other people can kind of almost see objectively things in your work that you would never know. Yeah. Yeah. It was it was a really cool experience for her to come up with that. And now I think for my next book it's going to be like way more straightforward. It's just going to be sobering thoughts but good title good thing. Yeah. Yeah, whenever I publish that which I would like to not self-publish, but you know, it takes a little more effort. I know that's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about because self-publishing is Thing I've considered and I'm like I said, I'm kind of a chicken about sharing my stuff and how did that whole process like how did you get educated on how to even do that and Hunter have go so I actually finished my poetry book while I was in Italy very romantic and by myself and I was just like hold up in my apartment. I like didn't see as much of Italy as I probably should have and finish my book and then I hired this guy from freelancer.com and yeah freelancer.com And who is amazing? I was suggesting to anyone. He really liked put together my whole book for me and used illustrator and I got some people to Amos to illustrate things and then would send them over to him and he really put it all together for a really really small amount of money. And then my mom's friend kind is a self-publisher on Amazon. So she just sat me down and she just took me through like step-by-step. This is what you do this how you use create space, which is Amazon platform. This is how you Have to format specifically for Amazon. And yeah, we just like, you know a lot of Googling, you know, figuring out like how to get an ISBN and you know how to get your barcode and all that good stuff. You know, there is a lot of technical things that go into it and I think that intimidates me to not only the sharing of vulnerability but then it's like the red tape you have to go through it's like yeah, why couldn't I be in the humming my days where I could just wander around I'm drinking then like my heart when it's some publishing has like it's brilliant, right? Exactly and I even went through the thing of like on Amazon. Amazon wouldn't show my poetry book for a while because it was adult content is it has brass on the cover and it's like considered erotic poetry which is ridiculous because there's not one thing about sex in my book which just proves the sexualization of a woman's body at any. Yeah, you're talking about anything because I talk about breast and we talk about bodies and stomachs and butts and like I do talk about rape, but you know like not in a sexual like why not? And like yeah, exactly, right. So it was just really interesting like going through that red tape and figuring out how to change how I described my book and you know, when people saw from it So eventually eventually like if you search - why Kate Strauss you can find it on Amazon, but hmm see but that's just that which probably is part of one of the reasons why you don't want to go through self-publishing again, because I'm sure you want to be able to yeah, it's the same reason why when you have a great artistic idea and you want to write a grant it's great and But then if you get the grant they might make you change everything that you and Sheree wanted the Graham sure. So I'm glad that you were able to maintain obviously most of the Integrity of what you wanted. But having to change even the description can feel intrusive when you're yeah, it was really interesting. It was it was a little it was a little odd. I was really frustrated by Amazon because I have friends who've given this to their this book to their 13-year old daughter's, you know, and like I think it's an important book for 13 year old girls to read lately, you know, I think talking about our bodies and talking about sex in vaginas and penises and whatever. I think it's really important and I think children should be exposed in a not a sexualized manner but like should be able to understand. I also think like giving them books of this nature like lets them feel like they can ask questions absolutely gives them a safe space that means children are having these thoughts these questions these concern raised experiences sadly at very young ages some. Yeah, and the reason people go through so much trauma without Ever Getting to deal with it is because a lot of the time they don't have a safe exactly. Gusset so yeah, I think it's awesome. Yeah, I think it's awesome. It's cool. I really love also sharing my poetry in Instagram because people then feel really comfortable to share their poetry with me and I love that. I absolutely love when people share their poetry with me and they feel comfortable saying like, oh I've struggled with this eating disorder stuff or I, you know, just like opens up a line of communication. That's really really special and important to me. It's wanted such a it's a dialogue that so many people are thirsting and hungering for to be able to know that Nobody else feels this way. Definitely. They're not alone, you know. Yeah, so so well on that note, I'm going to have Kate share. I'm gonna have her share a piece that she wants to first and if you don't mind reader view, yeah sure. I love this poem and I don't care if anyone doesn't like it. I'll be your mistress. I'll be your secret. I'll be the last drop of honey in your class that you lap up quickly with your finger to taste its sweetness while no one is looking because you told them you don't eat sugar anymore. Damn it Kate. That was that's on your Instagram. That was one of the ones I was gonna write because I love that poem. Yeah, I love it. Come to yeah the description and like you no matter who you are in the well, this is very sweet. Like everyone feel something when they hear those for yes because it's because for me it reminds me of a probable experience just as I'm sure yeah. Hmm. So do you want to talk a little bit about what inspired you to write this sure. I mean, I've been dealing with men since I was young We you know straight man has I am well, I'm not straight but I date men and I felt for a long time, especially when I came out to LA that and we just talked about this before we started, you know, like people are fickle here. I just I this book a lot - why is a lot about like me not recognizing my worth and I was such a victim for such a long time and I was like, well, you don't recognize my worth. So it's your fault. It's on you. It's like well, I wasn't Using my words. So like how is somebody else supposed to so this poem is kind of about like it's specifically about like a man using me but I don't even want to say using me because I don't want to put the onus on them like it's that's my choice if I get myself one of those situations, but it's about a man being in my life and not yeah not respecting or like giving me the worth that I deserve but appreciating and appreciating me. Yeah and like taking what they want and then Starting rest right? But again, I feel I'm not in that victim place that I was when I wrote that poem. I mean, this is really interesting going back and reading the poems from - why because I'm very very different which is a it's a crazy. It's not crazy. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. Yes. Yes Kate and I were just talking about this also before we started that I we both have had relationships and that we've gotten out of and whatnot. But I wrote a book of poetry just all about my last relationship because I was like, I need to just put it somewhere. Yeah and put it all into. Thing and even now when I go back and read it, I'm like, oh I'm not it's nice to know. I'm not there anymore. It's a great way to journal. I think it is. It's a beautiful way to like see your experience and kind of track how you were feeling. And yeah, I've written it's interesting I especially because I share on Instagram like I really try hard to be respectful of people and to not like my most recent relationship. I don't think I would post any of the Poetry from that quite yet because I just don't think it's very kind well and it's like you don't want to fight you don't wanna get like Taylor Swift Swift syndrome where you just you know, calling out of your last bruises and bumps. Yeah, exactly. But I think and that's very I think that's a very mature thing as a writer too. And that's something to know that you're not being the victim. It's real like this is about expressing this feeling expressing this experience and hoping that somebody else can read it that might still be there. Yeah. I know. Okay. Maybe I need to assess her anyway father and even know my worse or yeah, but that's a very hard thing to do people. I mean it's loving yourself is not easy. Mmm, it's not it's not it's not easy, but it's definitely something you have. I'll speak for myself have to work. It's not it doesn't come naturally to me. I mean, my natural state is like Kate you are bad same you are AB your bad girl and not like a cool bad girl, right like like just bad just yeah, so I work really hard on accepting myself and loving myself and and I do that through poetry to you know, like write poems. I'll write love letters to myself and just like that, right? Things about myself and yeah, it's changed a lot since this I wrote I published two years ago, which is crazy to me. I know years because I feel like even I was talking to Heather about this and I can't believe it's been two years. Yeah telling me. Yeah and self-publishing. Yeah, but that's okay. Yeah. Yeah, really crazy. I need to take that advice about The Love Letters to yourself because that's that sounds like actually really great idea. Okay, there was another there's a one there's one of these that I really yes. Okay. So this poem of Kate's I really like because several reasons one of which I'm that weird pirate where I love when anyone uses like nautical terminology or like anything but I also love it because as we were speaking about women with their bodies, like respecting our bodies knowing how to treat our bodies how other people treat our bodies like it's a very difficult relationship and it's a tumultuous relationship and like you said, you have to work at it. You have to work at loving your all of ourselves. And so I'm just going to read this starts with the question, which I also love we're meant to Cherish our bodies I struggle with that the phrase Your Vessel confuses me my vessel. The one that can't choose which foods it's allergic to the one that breaks out in acne. That's red and swollen that carries more weight than it ought to that swells that stings that knives and glitches. Sometimes it's a body that lets the Mind hurt it. Let's people ravaged it destroy it. My vessel feels like more of a burden and something that carries me. You know because I feel like that's so that's something that not mean men deal with this to everyone deals in this. It's just carrying the weight of the physical the mental the emotional the past the present the future. It's just like sometimes I always say this to people I go sometimes I feel like I'm just like this big walking dumpster hmm, you know, you're supposed to receive the vessel and I love that term because it's but it's like sometimes I just feel like I've just this accumulation of garbage at times like realizing know our experiences are what they are and right we're not perfect and rmp actions can be daunting. But yeah, I just I love the questioning to yeah, I feel like that's that conversation that we have with ourselves. Right? It's interesting that you said that I was just I was thinking when he said the nautical thing I could make probably like a collection of poems of nautical stuff because I have an x marks the spot home. I have a like a coral reef part of a poem and I Starfish poem and I have you never want you out of elements a descriptor. Yeah, how about you use the elements? Very strongly? Yeah are descriptive - because same I'm I got it's to a point now where in Birdbrain I'm like, maybe I need to split these up because like happens poems are like all about the ocean, but I think I don't know about you but there's something for me at least that when I can't describe an emotion like it feels like it's grander than I am. There's something freeing about like going to definitely Yeah, definitely. I agree too big. Yeah, it's I like I like writing about bodies and my experience with bodies and and you do it very strong. I mean even in your description on Instagram Kate's description writer. I can't stop writing about bodies and mushy stuff, which I absolutely love because I think that that's also a very astute description of I feel like so often we your self-deprecating to like a description of the poet's Journey trying to not take ourselves too seriously, right? Because at that point you're like, People to be like I'm poet. Let me tell you about the darkness. That is one of the things like I don't like about poetry. Is that or poet or people's perception of poetry is that like you have to be like a drunk who hates themselves and hates the world and it's so not true. You know, I don't drink and I mean I was drinking when I wrote this book, but I don't drink anymore and I haven't for two years and like I might I was so scared when I stopped drinking. I was like, I'm not gonna be able to write I'm not going to be able to like have things flow like what am I going to do? I wrote so many poems about getting sober and I wrote so much about like all the emotions that came up actually because I stopped drinking as opposed to you're finally feeling right all my life feeling it. Yeah, so there was so there's so much in there and I can like process and like actually, you know, I don't write the same poem seven times over in different ways because that's yeah. So yeah, it's pretty poignant. Yeah, because I'm not I can like processing's and actually deal with Shedden like, you know finish a story and the right keep starting the same story exactly. We'll take the cows. But you know, this is like Charles Bukowski that's like an issue. I kind of I struggle with him. I love him - I really like him. I struggled with was like a love-hate because I think he liked reminds me of like the bad side of me like the part of me that at the demon that I want to feed, you know, it's like be careful that quote like the careful when casting out your demons you cast out the best thing that's in you which I get but it's also like you don't need to feed this. Monster, I agree inspired. I agree and that's which is why I also really admire you for getting sober which is amazing to You're Sober that's freaking huge specially in Los Angeles for a treat to talk to some people but ask me that often. They're like, how do you talk to people like well, but it's not and I'm sure it's not that it's gotten easier. But do you feel like you've gotten to a place where just because you're more comfortable with your own? Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't it doesn't bother me at all to just it's really freeing to do a lot of The things that I thought I couldn't do sober it's freeing to like dance sober. It's freeing to like have deep, you know conversations sober and you remember them and it's really freeing to like do all this stuff like stand up in front of crowds and do stupid things and like think that you could never do those because you had to have a drink and you to do them and you know, you don't have to you don't have to it's really freeing. Yeah. That's powerful. That's very powerful. Well, and I think that that's another thing I've noticed in your poetry is that talking about Addiction, you know talking about eating disorders addiction the trauma of sexual assault. All of these things are things that so many people deal with and are afraid to put out there. Yeah, because you know, it's the internet you never know. Someone's going to troll you or be just you know, and it's like silly to fear that but it's like that eight-year-old and all of us that's like is someone going to like think I'm stupid or like be sure to me and show I'd it's hard it's hard. So that's one of those things that I think social media can be helpful though because it's a platform to where you're like, I'm just going to get out there. Yeah. Do you have an another poem that you'd like to sure have her share a couple more poems? I'm slowly learning how to voice my needs are them out but I don't think my needs are a blowing sheet in the breeze hung up after washing. I think my needs are thick old Persian Dusty rugs that need to be hit against a metal fence again, and again, and again until the ground around is Dusty and the rug is worn but clean. threads bear dust cleared needs met Yeah, I love that one too. Will you read before you get to the will you actually just read it one more time? Yeah, thank you. I'm slowly learning how to voice my needs are them out but I don't think my needs are blowing sheet in the breeze hung up after washing. I think my needs are thick old Persian Dusty rugs that need to be hit against a metal fence again and again and again until the ground around. Just Dusty and the rug is worn but clean threads bear dust cleared needs met. I love that too that I think would be a really great poem to visualize. Yeah, it would be cut wood that would be could literally just be someone hanging out and then and I love the idea of the rugs and it's the metal fence to yes crucial. Yeah, because it's like that. It's not a clean sound either. It's messy and it's dusty but But I love the like threads bear needs met. Hmm. It's interesting because like a lot of times and I talked about this also a lot and a lot of my poems is like that idea of femininity and grease and Womanhood and you know, I am not I would not consider myself. I have a lot of masculine energy and I don't mean like I'm very male. Like I just have a lot of masculine energy is the misconception that people write don't understand. No yin-yang dark white, whatever dark light whatever like There's in my opinion like too overbearing forces good evil. Whatever it is, like just masculine-feminine. We happen to also sometimes attach those to our sex which I don't think are is correct, but I have a lot of masculine energy. And so sometimes I felt for a long time not very feminine. And and in that I felt that my needs weren't very feminine because I needed more and I wanted more and I it was not a blowing sheet. Like it wasn't like a pretty little like I just you like a hug and like some love and my girl, you know, I was like no, I need some deep intense emotional intimacy and I need to be seen and I need to be heard and I'm not always gonna be clean and right. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Well that's like we associate all these terms with like men like grit and like even stuff like strength and bravery those words even now bring up do no pictures of patriot and yeah, crap like that and yeah, we're getting to a point where it's not so much but I do think especially in the western world. There's this idea where being a woman with a strong masculine energy is seen As an aggressive or a negative more like you're too much or you're a witch in the professional world. You're a bitch right? And it's really just knowing what you want and being able to ask for it. Hmm. Yeah, I think it's also a great thing in your poetry that I think would be awesome for visualization as I feel like the images are so specific and clear that like the association between a sheep blowing in the wind as opposed to an old dirty Persian. Drug against a metal fun. Yeah, that's like that's clear. That's just so clear to me. And I think that's one of the things I love about poetry is sometimes it takes so little words. You can say like three things. Yeah. It's like I know exactly what that is. Yeah exactly what that is. So it's funny because and I don't actually own this book, but I don't know. Do you do you own Milk and Honey by? Yeah. Yeah, so and I love her writing. I think it's and I think that's one of those things where A couple of years ago I stumbled or whenever she got published shoes. I think published in 2016. Yeah, and I think it was two or three years ago that I stumbled upon her book and Barnes and Noble and was not in a good place and opened it and was reading, you know in her poems. Are there also I think very much about the body and we hands bottom and she talks about these different because milk and honey. If I remember there's chapters that are based on like different struggles kind of like it goes through and at that time I was really working on pick your poison. It was one of my books and it was going through different chapters of struggles. But her writing had like this lightness in this hope in it. Hmm Beauty. Mmm, it does and instead of at that time I wasn't able to enjoy it. I was like, well, this is good. He's more Darkness like this doesn't know. Yeah, and I rejected it because I was I'm sure jealous and just wasn't prepared to accept. Hope I think also in writing and so I Revisited her work like probably six weeks ago and I was like, oh this is delightful. This is really touching and love me something and there's so much of a journey that happens in such a short amount of time in those homes, you know, and for me, I was like it made me hopeful because it also kind of like you were just talking about you don't need to be hitting yourself overhead over the head with a bottle of Jack Daniels written like Rick breathing fire to be a puppet. And so it's more and especially like female poets. I feel like the more female poets. I read I'm like there is this such a bravery in such a perseverance in the female spirit that you get it's almost impossible not to have that hope because it's like at the end of the day you carry on, you know what I mean? Carry on and why not like love yourself and see the beauty of the carrying on instead of just the strongly agree. Yeah. So yeah, and I think reading your poetry too because I feel like even though you have such raw vulnerability there is a hope there is that beauty and there is that light at the end of the tunnel, right? So yeah, the the moral of story is kids you don't you have to be depressed right? If you don't you really don't you can be happy. It's funny. My dad. My dad also writes poetry and I love his poetry. It's really it's always very sweet. And he once said to me that my poetry was like too angry. Mmm. I like why can't it be happier and I wanted to just like slap him across the face and I did write a poem about that like how my poetry like is an anchor for some people to be able to express their And feel their feelings, but I did take it a little bit to heart, you know, yeah because his thing was like you're an example for young women or whatever. It was. I think that's what he said and I wanted to be like, but I want to be an example that like you can be vulnerable and in perfect and you know, right about your emotions and have feelings and you're not you're not being overly sensitive or you're not being to like stop acting like such a girl like stop crying like a girl dramatic something so dramatic. I mean, I've been told my whole Whole life that I'm overdramatic. Yeah, I mean my mom used to call me like melodramatic Kate like that was her name for me. And so like I just my whole life was told like don't be so sensitive. Don't be so sensitive stop crying. And so the Poetry is a great way for me to be able to like work through that stuff and still feel it and show people that like, it's okay, right? It's okay to feel and cry and get angry and you know, as long as like, you know fee I like to say that feelings aren't facts. I don't like that. Yeah. As long as like you can still take action that that isn't based off of your feelings, you know, you can still take different actions based off your feelings. That's so true. When I think that that's when you you can like we were talking about earlier when you can use it as a journaling tool to kind of be able to look back and go all have so mad. I'm so spiteful I was so jealous or whatever it might be. But again, it's we judge ourselves for these quote-unquote negative emotions, but they're there we all have moments where were jealous. We all need this for work. I'm afraid and being able to express is that and then go back and not judge ourselves, but just be like, yeah, that's where I was I was legit, but it's it doesn't Define how I proceeded at my life and like obviously you aren't in that place anymore because everything passes and the good and the bad completely. So it's interesting to go back and be like, you know, at least for me when I'm in anger or hurt or fear. My immediate thought is like I'm gonna be in this place forever. Yeah, I'm gonna be here forever. I'm never going to feel this is my life. This is yeah. This is who I am now. I am now an angry person who just like wants to rage on B and it always passes yeah. Yeah. Well before we jump into another poem yes, when so at what point. How old are you if you remember if it's a specific time or it's just always been something that I know you talked about you your been a writer for a long time. Yeah, but when did you winded poetry kind of did you ever have a moment where you were like this I could actually do this. Like I could actually really express myself in this medium. So I really only actually so I've always wanted To be a writer but I had a really shitty experience in high school with a teacher and he really broke me and I actually was writing. I'm writing a book like a memoir type book a collection of funny essays called the girl who didn't know anything and in one of the chapters eyes is called the girl who didn't know how to write and I like revisit this can tell the story really quickly. I don't wanna take up too much time. Oh my God, so in high school I had this teacher Whatever didn't care that I'm saying is name because he was horrible and he was extremely misogynistic and he I would get ill going to his class my friends and I would get physically ill and and what grade were you in high school? I was in 11th grade 10th and 11th, and he told me I wasn't smart enough to take the AP exams. And then I took them the next year and got fives on both. But like that's not the point. The point is that I wrote this really long research paper about depression and you know misdiagnosis or overdiagnosis. As which I don't actually agree with that anymore, but at that time I thought that was the case then I wrote this whole research paper and he like took me aside after class and was like Kate. This is really good. And I was like, oh I was very surprised at you saying that he was like, I don't believe you wrote. It's too good. It's too good for you to have written and it really broke me and he was like, I'm just gonna give you a see because I can't I can't say you wrote this and yeah, so I went back when I was writing that that chapter in that book in the book that I'm writing. I was like, let me see if I could Find this essay and I found it. I found the research paper and I started reading it and I just started to bawl because it is the exact same voice that I have today. It is written in the exact same voice. Like I could have written that reason favorite yesterday. It sounds exactly like me and it's totally me so that actually like opened me up and I was like, oh I can be a writer and mr. Crowe eat crow. Yeah, pretty much God. He was a scary man. And and I just want to bring that up because Cuz I know so many people have like blocks people who are blocks creative locks in their life. And like what I have learned, especially from the artists way. I don't know if you've done it but it's a wonderful book by Julia Cameron. I suggest every single writer does it an artist but she talks about how a lot of people who are like that in our lives. A lot of teachers especially happened to be blocked Traders themselves and they take out their frustration and anger and it's like the Drama teacher that is means to is our like a bleed because she didn't get to be yeah. Growing up. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, which is a huge but you know, it's a huge problem because that's that can stop someone in their tracks. Yeah, if you hadn't overcome that. Yeah, I hadn't kept going. Who knows if you would he ever and it did stop me for a while. I mean when I was in college, I like would have loved to go to college for something writing-related and I didn't I went for acting and you know, every time I wrote an essay I would second guess myself and I wouldn't think it was good. But anyway, once I read that chapter in that book, I was like, oh my God, and I just started opening up and writing all the time. And so then I started really writing poetry and I'd always liked dabbled and songwriting and I have like all those like funny songs you wrote in your 14 which are so wonderful and Rich and beautiful and I love them. I love fourteen-year-old. Kate's mind and feel so bad for her so much compassion so much compassion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and so I just started writing again and that was like four years ago. Wow. Yeah was like opening three years ago. Yeah was just yeah, I just like non-stop. It's also I With my boyfriend at that time who had like moved out to Los Angeles with and was like, I'm gonna marry this man and then like, you know didn't obviously right plans true. Yeah things changed and I wrote a lot about that and that that poetry helped me so much that that break up. I mean so much I still to this day write poems about him because it just yeah, there are those are people that imprint on you. So just they'll always have a spot and I think that's one of the things that always inspires us. It's like a never-ending Fountain of feeling, you know, even if you're moved on from that point in your life, you can remember the potent. Just how potent that feeling was. It's like you can draw from that for ya. Forever. Yeah, like a well. It's like a wow exactly. Talking to Kate about this made me think of something. One of my favorite things about talking to writers is learning what they're writing ultimately does for them as people, of course. It's a way to sort of Monitor self-growth. And in that way a lot of writers will tell me that ultimately writing is extremely therapeutic for them, which it always makes me wonder what do people that aren't writers do for therapy. Of course, there's exercise prayer meditation yoga. Sometimes it's taking care of your pet or having a close friend you go to for counsel. Everyone deals with their issues in a variety of ways, but sometimes we need a third party to be able to talk to and sort through it. All with better help is the world's largest network of licensed accredited and experienced counselors who can help you with a wide range of issues. We all have depression and anxiety. But sometimes there are things that go even deeper than our day-to-day fears and issues. It's great to have a tool that no matter what hour it is. You can find someone who is willing. I need to talk to you about your problems and help you sort through them with professional licensed and vetted counselors that you could trust you get the same professionalism and quality. You would expect from an in-office counselor, but with the ability to communicate with them when and how you want. It's really easy to get started. You can even get matched to a therapist today by going to better help.com or downloading the app straight to your phone. I don't know about you, but for me my day-to-day life catches up with me pretty quickly and as much as I'd like to think Think I can handle it right it out or maybe just vent to a friend. Sometimes. It's really helpful having someone else to talk to you deserve to be happy and better help.com is the world's largest counseling service and it's a hundred percent online now back to the good stuff. Well, I'm talking about you getting you know changing having the fear of getting sober and being afraid you were going to going to be able to write. Yeah when you did start writing about getting sober. I mean, I'm sure there were so many emotions of in terms of like Purging just all the stuff that you had dealt with but had like you were saying you dealt with it in little increments, but weren't under presenting with it hundred percent. That's when I really started writing about my breakup and I was like, oh my God, I still miss him. Like I still I still have feelings for him. Like I still love him and you know, I have a poem about how like if you want to always be loved just be one of my ex-boyfriends even for a day, you know, and like I just want to hear that one, you know, that's who I am and like I will always love all of my ex-boyfriends, you know, even if I broke up with Them just because no I love them. Hey, and that's something my thoughts get all societal here. But the whole society about what I'm just going to ghost this person. I'm yeah, they're dead to me and like to be honest. I'm almost jealous of people that can do that. Yeah, because I'm like, you know, I agree that will never be me. I will always be open to saying yeah, I still have love for that. Yes, and they hurt me. They wronged me they ran me over with the truck. But like yeah, yeah this poem at this this book has a lot about that ex-boyfriend has a lot about this guy. I was seeing who had cancer like three times and then ghosted me and we'd like been dating for like a year is crazy. So I thought he died. I thought he died. I have a lot of poems about him. And how did you find out that he hadn't died. Can I ask um, I was like just searching obituaries all the time and like wondering if his was going to come up and then months and months later. He appeared at the Grove. I saw him as a hero run into yeah. He would act like everything is fine. And I was like, oh jeez. Wow. Yeah, not great. Pretty. Hey, it's all good. Material. I'm going to say there's some their shit that I'm like I couldn't make this up if I tried exactly it could not have falsified this information if I want him, there's great. There's great material there and also like pain is the Touchstone of recovery, you know, I think that I think that the only time I really learned and really grown is through painful events. Absolutely and I think people are so afraid to You were so afraid to feel pain and it it sucks and suffering sucks and struggle socks, but I also think it really does teach you how to be able to join more and more present love yourself because you're like that I could make it. I made it through that bring it on. You can't have Love Without Fear. I mean, this is just going to get super spiritual but there's this great book called conversations with God and by Neil I was going to say diamond, but that's definitely not his name and Neale Donald walsch. I can't remember something like that. That anyway it's a great great book and he talks about how like you can't have Love Without Fear because if you didn't if you only had love you'd would have nothing to reflect it with you would just be love. It would just be all it would just be everything right. So the utopian model right the never right? We're right exactly. Yeah, I think it is Neale Donald walsch. Yes, you don't kneel down but it's a great book. It's a great book for anyone and I think for writers to because it is him just right. And even if you don't believe in a higher power swear, you're not spiritual at all. It's just interesting because he just like was homeless and started writing like letters to God and I just say God because it's an easier word than like the universe shorter, right and he started writing letters to God and then like God quote unquote. Sorry writing back. So honestly, it's just him free writing asking questions and just free writing back from God. It's really good. That sounds powerful. Yeah. I got a couple books. I need to get that and that's why I didn't tell you. You need to do the artists way. I feel like I've heard somebody else told me that I need to I need to do that. So 12-week program thing that just like unlocks you and many many ways. I'm always in need of being unlocked I now so am I so am I close up so quick it's hard not to and speaking of closing up. So when did you decide to go on social media and really it was it right when you self-published or was there a transition? I think I was Doing it a little bit before I self-published. So my face my Instagram used to be just me. I used to work for lingerie company and I used to just be used to just be me and bras. That was my Instagram for a really long time. So I transition. Yeah, it is so like deleted all of that and I'm just totally restarted and got good feedback and it actually was a little inspiring to be able to self publish after like getting good feedback from social media. So I was like, oh You know, like people actually like don't think it's shit. So it was encouraging and like I haven't had it bad. Well haven't had like someone not liking my poetry as a bad experience. I have had like weird experiences people like being three men's. Yeah, I was gonna say I bet you that. Yeah, I recently had an old boss be like read my book and he was like any man who reads this will want to sleep with you and be with you and I was like what not the feedback I want to do. Not not the litter. Boundary. Yeah, but I mean that's the thing is it's like the other side of the point. Sometimes it's almost that you fear success. Yeah sure you're writing to because it's like then it's out there. It's exposed people can ask you anything people can say it means this people can think it's about them. We just seem like yeah also at a place where yeah, not that you don't care but that you're at peace kind of with Rick putting it out there. Yeah, but I do think that that's probably for me as someone who's not there yet. That's a fear for me is that I'm like someone's gonna Whatever. I'm trying to think about what how I got there how I got because I really don't give a crap anymore about what I post. Like I just I think it will touch one person maybe and then I'm like, okay, that's enough. That's right. Well, that's the thing is that you went on your page, which I also love is that it's poetry and then it's also you doing things like living your life playing music being with family and friends doing pursuing your passion and okay, there was one on here. This is something that really inspired me. When I and we were talking about this again about saying that these things are okay to do when you're sober and you realize you can do these things without a drink but I love this because I feel like on social media. There's something so liberating when you see someone be a little bit of a kid, you know and be silly or be vulnerable. Even if it's if it's crying or laughing or being like somehow back to that rudimentary phase in life where you're playing. Hmm, and so this Is a poem on Kate's poetry page that like it cheered me up one day because I was like, oh man, I need to talk to my inner my inner child is alive right now. Katie wants to dance she wants to eat peas and pasta. She wants to have a tantrum for hours. It's not fair and then cry yourself to a luxurious post drama Napoli to be woken up by a hug of someone carrying her to somewhere comfort. Where she's wrapped up in swaddling and ready to wake up for the next day full of headstands and cartwheels. I was like hmm. But I love that because you're all the objectifying and whatever that happens in social media and guys being creepers and of putting yourself out there and having to deal with there's something so refreshing about taste like stripping it all away and just being like, you know, what makes you happy what makes you want to express and sometimes it just is that inner child that wants to player wants to scream or wants to cry or wants to run ask eat peas and pasta and yeah, that's one of the other things I love about poetry is that it's so simple, it's like such a simple expression of vulnerability and love and Joy because it's like it's almost like the words that were all thinking like the things that we're all feel like everyone's thinking that about themselves to some degree in some way specifically for them. Right and you know for me that's my grandma's white macaroni that nobody else makes everything that's white macaroni my grandma so but yeah, I just I love that because I think it balances us out to we get thrown so much shit gets thrown at us. It's negative and you process it and you try to keep going and you persevered to keep going on and that inner child I think is sometimes what's peddling us about a hundred things affect paddling. Like I feel like I owe my eight-year-old self. Sometimes as Dragon my yeah my butt down the road. Yeah. Come on over that. Yeah. I think I mean one of my favorite writing exercises. I've talked a lot about like writing that I do but other than poetry but my favorite writing exercises is I write with my dominant hand. Like I call my younger self Katie weighty. That's what my cousin's call me. And so it just like brings you back to Childhood. So I like say hi Katie. Ladylike. What do you need today? And I wrote with my non-dominant hand like what I need as a kid. And so I'll be like a hugger. I want to dance or I want ice cream you get this from running order. Yeah, they told me it was just once. Yeah, it's one of my favorite exercises. I bet you've gotten kind of pretty good at writing with your mother. No, I'm still really shit. I can't write with my left hand. Yes. Left-handed. I feel like I'm especially bad because I have nerve damage in my right hand. So like I'm gonna have to start trying that not actually might be a good exercise for my physical therapy two birds one stone. Yeah, exactly. Love it. Well, I'm going to have you share if you want to I would love to have you share one more poem If you ask one that it can be from your Instagram, it can be from anything find the ones I'm femininity which I am so bad at saying that word but you heard what it's like and see an enemy. Yeah and then in a minute But I don't know if I can find it. If I can't find it. I'll say something else. Oh, here's the here. Here's more nautical. Yes. When we meet will you wait to grab my flesh explore Uncharted Territory? You have the map you've had it for a while now have you poured over that map with your compass and red pen to Mark the exes you'll dig up delicately, of course, like, you know that the treasure you're uncovering cannot be recovered and what you take cannot be replaced. Treasure cannot be recovered. Mmm. I love that. Yeah. Yeah, you should like I could totally see you doing like an element. Yeah elements like because I love I mean I'm totally biased towards the ocean but I also think that the ocean just I love the relationship between the ocean and the Earth like I feel like it's like unrequited love which is something that I've always wanted to like delve into. Yeah, we should just keep trying to come back but at the same time the ocean is like the most destructive element towards Earth, right anyway, so basically all of my relationships, I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Yeah, I love to read about the ocean to and I trying to find where I have one here. It is really quick. Well, it's kind of about the ocean but yes, here we go the Earth cries in waves and crashes as she remembers what we've done to her. She drowns her sorrows in us. So it's a quick little one about the ocean but I used To talk to the ocean as a kid too because I had didn't have many friends and I would go into the ocean and I would talk to those. She was my first experience with like higher power or whatever. It was. Like my thing that I would talk to. It's such I mean I mean I'll get this is a whole different subject but I get real crazy about the ocean because like I believe the ocean is you I am not nerd like if you look at my YouTube my whole search system history, like my guilty pleasures is all about like lost ships. The Devil's Sea like the Bermuda Triangle like and not in a way that's like spookie ookie, but like I'm fascinated because the ocean like has a relationship with certain people just like when I saw no Lana I cried through the whole movie because I was like, I want to be my wanna like I've ever wanted to have the ocean have like a special relationship. Yeah, but you hear stories about you know ships will get commandeered Peter get overturned in like there was this one girl her family got their chip got capsize or something. She floated through the ocean for like four days before they found her wound. She was like ten but any time in her whole experience is just fascinating. She talks about how like sharks it was weird because the ocean animals would like it was weird. She's like, I don't know if I was hallucinating but like whales would come around and I protect me and like there. Was never a moment where I ever felt like I was going to sink like the ocean just felt like it had her and there's something about the elements which I love which again bring you back to child's like the childlike trust in the world that I love but I don't know. I think the ocean is very special. So I encourage you to write a whole instead of poems about yeah. I love the ocean to yeah. Well Kate, this has been amazing. Yeah you so much for coming on. Well, I'm sure we'll have you on again and I don't know what number it was in - why but I really want to think of a for that because that is Palpable just hearing it. I can already like see some courage. Let's do it. Follow Kate Strasse poetry. Yep, and by - why on Amazon and look out for her new stuff. I'm sure we will be seeing much more from her soon follow her on social and we will be back with boats return with another very profound poet. There's this audio production is copyright 2019 by The Poets return podcast All rights reserved the copyrights for each story are held by the respective authors. No duplication or reproduction of this auto program is permitted without the written consent of Melissa. Boom. Poets return a poetry podcast where artists share their work and discuss their process and let you see the story behind the words. So tell me what we going to make.
Kate Strauss is a self-published poet whose book DASH-Y can be found on Amazon for purchase. Her work delves into learning self-love through overcoming body struggles, addiction and misplaced ideas of our own worth. We discuss these topics as well as the process Kate went through publishing her own work and using social media as a public journal to reach and connect with the artistic community and beyond. Find her book at:  https://www.amazon.com/DASH-Y-Kate-Strauss-ebook/dp/B079TYQHS7 Instagram: @katestrausspoetry Pieces shared from DASH-Y: #30 : Kate talks about the themes in this piece, including not allowing ourselves to be used, which is a difficult lesson to learn. “We’re meant to cherish our bodies” is an untitled piece on her Instagram page that deals with loving our imperfections- something we're often taught the opposite of in life and society. #23: Needing more intimately is more easily understood when it comes from a man, but as women we need these things just as intensely. “Pain is the touchstone to recovery.” Kate went on to describe her experience getting sober: “It’s really freeing to do a lot of the things that I thought I couldn’t do sober. It’s freeing to dance sober. It’s freeing to have deep conversations sober, and you remember them. And it’s really freeing to do all this stuff, stand up in front of crowds, do stupid things and think that you could never do those things because you had to have a drink to do them, and you don’t have to.” -Kate Strauss  Original music by artist RJ Wayne, AKA Philasifer, featuring his track "That Magic." 