What's up fam dead and buried here to let you know that if you haven't heard about anchor it's the easiest way to make a podcast. Let me explain it's free. There's creation tools that allow you to record and edit your podcast right from your phone or computer and anchor will distribute your podcast for you. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many many more you can even make money from your podcast with no minimum listenership. Have we made any money? Keep we make money hand over fist through anchor. Hello did oh, no, did I just bought a boat? It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So download the anchor app are going to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. Hello and welcome to the dad and buried podcast. My name is Mike. I am the titular dad. And as I work the eponymous, I don't think so. I think it works. Did you lose a word? I'm the god of those work. They're both words. Eponymous hippopotamus big atop Anonymous. Dad and buried AKA. Did I say, my name is Mike already? Yep, and Mike and Dad and buried that's not your last name know. Then maybe it isn't buried is not my son's name. Either people have said that to me is your son's dead and buried you. Call your son buried. Yeah, man come. Anyway, is it have to be able to compete so I don't know why I brought General. My co-host is known also known as Pete. Yep, that's it and you'll know me from such things as my email address. So you're doing Troy McClure. So yeah, there we go. No me some from other podcasts such as The Joe Rogan Experience. Well the name of his podcast I've listened to the fall. I'm a podcast listener your devotee. Yeah, and I listened to other Potter. You don't do social media. You can find me at dead and buried.com also on Twitter Facebook and Instagram as dead and buried and you know, where else you can find me now motherfucking Tick-Tock. I started take that I started to attack. The only thing I do is stare at the camera while applying ChapStick for videos up every time Chapman time, you know. Why do I made a joke on Twitter? And then I decided I'm just gonna do it. Just be careful why there's people out there with a chaplain time fetish pretty much and then when I'm looking I'm listening now looking to spice up my life. You keep it spicy. Okay, why not cool little variety the way do you know the whoa, what's the well, he's son of a bitch if you're on tick-tocking. I don't know shit, dude. All I know is is somebody immediately commented just want you just remember that I'm first in case this blows up. I'm like, this is the thing like hairs. Yeah. I like 11 followers after this 12 after people here this maybe I literally all I do is stare at the camera and apply chapstick. You're gonna be the biggest star on ticked at you hear that anyway world. So if you want to support me a Tic-Tac, please if don't expect anything other than what I just said to you me staring into the camera. No making eye contact and applying chapstick. Okay. I have sugar cookie flavor chapstick. Somebody gave me it's very strange. I feel like this is what people just come to expect from you to me just staring at them. What I do on the subway, but not everybody who listens right the F train. So now you get the full Mike. It's a very varied experience because I wish I could change the name the dead and buried experience. Mike dad married. Mike dad and Barry. I should change my last name to dead and buried that's not a bad idea. Hey go. I'll talk to my wife. She didn't take my last name the first time. Why would she do it this time? Because guess what? She did take your handle. Yeah. She got my hammer. He doesn't want my last name, but you'll take my handle mom and buried. Yeah. Well, I guess look let's be honest dad a bear eats more successful than Mike ever was that's not the same my I've never had patreons patrons page via patreon. Thank you. I want to I want to thank our listeners everybody listen to us on Spotify apple and everywhere else that your podcast Please Subscribe and rate US on Apple for everybody who actually gives us money on patreon. Thank you very much want to do a quick shout out to them the single dad to your chick your kids at the door Chris Coleman M. Cedeño. 1980 Mallory Mackenzie, Miriam, Tina Davis brand-new, welcome aboard the dad bod, Andrea Sandoval Barbara Geiger build a mica Dana bows days. Go VAR morning glow. Thank you very much. The Father Figure to your Jennifer Winn, Julia McCarthy, Paula Paul. Ski, the world's greatest dad tear Julie Burton. Good luck to the Chiefs this weekend. Even though Peach pulling for the 49ers. I think so, I don't know. I just you know what? I had I'm a home school your boy. He's your man crush. I think maybe okay. There we go. I'm a Chiefs. I'm reading this because you want your the heartthrob of the Chiefs. You don't think garoppolo's good-looking. It's not a good bad. Good looking. It's just the style of play Grand Prix least. On Fox okay. I like that term for him only for him. Okay should be his nickname. I still root for the Chiefs. Are you? Yeah. All right. So the World's Greatest Dad here Julie Julie Burton whose case you Julie world's biggest Chiefs fan and Mary Williams in the my new dad tear Monica. Thank you everybody for all your contributions, please if you don't want to if you don't want to give us some money to keep this thing going to go to Apple subscribe and rate go to YouTube leave comments wherever you can do and follow me on Instagram and tick Really Tick-Tock chapstick if you're not going to be out of podcast content on Tick-Tock. I'll tell you that but if you want to talk about the podcast and and respond to our top my topic prompts, yeah, it's all Instagram, baby. All right. All right. So this week we're talking about we're talking about what you miss most from your pre parent life. I asked people everything bonded. Yeah, they respond was it him? Everything's as was everything. Yeah, we're going to get into it. There's a major categories body-mind. Yeah, sleep. Yep my mind. Yeah. I lost my mind Hannity sure. I'm sure that didn't come up. I went in come up like the sanity thing. Yeah, I mean, well it's tied into sleep really. Well, we're gonna get into West tied into work. No, that's a different episode. That's that's our SNM podcast. What what? Okay, we do under pseudonyms. Would you assess ways that and be our conversation really was a podcast I got that was just you and me opening up I would say a word is our safe word is is vomit bowl. Is it what about pine cones, but it's not a safe word in something. Yeah. Our friend Tim's safe word. Oh God again. Wait to whip that out on them. I mean just the word just the word. Okay, as long as he says the word. All right. Well, I'm sure there is no greater chance that he'll say pine cones. If you whip it out trust us do it at Houlihan's 34th Street Penn Station. That's the way to do it. Tell him to meet me there. That's the place to whip. You should know by routine by now. You got to be honest. We've known each other for a long time. All right, so we're going to talk about what you miss most from your parent life right after this. Yeah pine cones will not be involved. Thank you. Hey, Mike, have you heard of Spotify before? I have heard of Spotify? Really? Yeah, because on Spotify you can listen to all of your favorite artists and podcasts in one place for free. You don't even need a premium account Spotify as a huge catalogue of podcast on every topic including the one you're listening to right now here. We were having a normal conversation and I thought I knew more about Spotify. We're on Spotify. You can follow your favorite podcast. So you never miss an episode premium users can download episodes and listen offline. Wherever you are and easily share what you're listening to with your friends on Instagram. I'm on Instagram. Are you on Instagram? Get out of here? If you haven't done so already be sure to download the Spotify app search for Dad and buried on Spotify or browse podcast in the your library tab. Also, make sure to follow me and Pete so you never miss an episode of the dead and buried show. All right as promised this week's episode is what did you miss most or what do you miss most about your pre parent life? I had the conversation with somebody over the weekend that gave me the idea and then I do want to do a follow-up episode which is what do you like most about being a parent little bit out of character? That one that I don't know if this is on brand it's a little off that's you know, what will make it on brand. Okay. I don't have that. I don't have to be that'll be next week or the week after but I I guess it could be next week happy thoughts about parenting by dad and buried the dead and buried and buried on take a cock exact with over 11. No, he said the Lovin earlier. I did I let me just you know, it's it's like 14 Lansing believe me my 12 year olds honest. I'm by the way the The episode we're going to do is social media social media and kids. Yeah, so I'll funny so Tick-Tock there's a don't dis adopted. Please don't speaking of social media and Tick-Tock. There's a watch company or called my Tik Tok Tik ta LK and they sent me a watch for my son and it's like a social media watch that allows you to it's got GPS on its postgraduate kids supposed new. Yeah. I love your kid he wear There's it. It connects to either your phone plan. You can with AT&T you can put it in your phone plan or they give you separate monthly SIM card and stuff that you do that shit on that's what I want. But in the South allows the kid to call or the FaceTime or the text when he's on his way or if he's running late or whatever. Hold on a second. Can I just stop you there? Which sounds like a great product. It is one of a pretty age range. Can I can I just say what's the age? I think it's probably like 4 to 12. I don't know more. Yeah, I don't know it just but it even if it's for their know how to use it. It still tells you where they're at. Right? So that's useful and the texting is very helpful because I can text him but he just wants to call so he will call usually will call and I'll answer phone ago. It's your conscience. This is that's what he says what he says it's not exactly how he sounds but he tries to use them a fake voice and say this is your conscience. All right, but he always calls so in the morning I drop him at the bus he gets on the bus. He drives away. Oh, but they don't know he's calling because he's dick. Tracy: no, no no no. No, he I tell you can set it. I have it turned off so we can't use it during the school dance. So from the gate 32 3 he can't use it. That's when he's on the bus, but it always call me when he's like on the bus in the morning just going to go because he likes having a gadget. So call me and I'll be on the subway or he'll call me and I'll be at work depending on how early I got in or when he gets out of school. I'm still at work and he'll call me at work. I'm like God damn it. You're gonna get me. How'd you get this number? I'm gonna huge and setting people who can contact them and stuff, but I really like it because Cuz especially when I was staying at home, and now my wife is going to be back home working or back home and checking to see like where's the bus I think she'll be working. Is she going to be no yesterday at home? Mom's do a lot of work the job of several people actually as we as we as you know, all too. Well, except what I was a stay-at-home dad. So let's get back to it less than her because I was terrible at it and very lazy. Let's get back to the fact that you're in a meeting projecting your watch on to the screen. So my son. Yeah, he's pops up. In conclusion everybody around the board table. I just want to say but this is your conscience. Yeah, so then all of a sudden oh, so you're saying I'm saying that and that it interrupts my big. No, I mean you're giving you're giving a presentation the next thing you know, your son is interrupting with him. Hey, your butt's me. I don't usually project my watch on to the screen, but it was theoretically should anyway, so my wife when she's at home, or I could we can see like where the buses and we have to run to get it me. Him at the bus stop which is like a block away or do we wait that's huge. It is huge. It's annoying to have to get I were this close to ending of the walk home on his own. Yeah, and even then that will be valuable being like let us know when you get off the bus and that kind of shit. So, how are you in North Virginia? Yo, I'm a GP s-- Yeah. Oh Amber Alert that was happening. I get more flash flood alerts than in Berlin's. Well, that's not a funny thing to say, but we was waiting to say they're well, I'm just saying no one died. In the ones that I was getting really the flash flood, I didn't double-check. It was a fucking joke. I know the one there have been at least five. Did you hear the one the most recent? And did you hear the one did you hear the amber alert about the cock? They caught him? Yeah, I did because the the couple like chasing down. Yeah, it's awesome dumb. That's why they work on your phone on your wrist. Whatever. Yeah, and by the way, the gps-based like LoJack for your kids is very handy and he loves having a gadget and subcutaneous. Why can't you just put it on that's coming like Like the pet store the veterinarian does friend that's coming that's coming. I feel like I have one to my parents. So what if it's funny that you say that because one of the things that came up was people were like I miss like not having the anxiety are the responsibility for another human being. So on the list of what do you miss most about your life a handful of people were like I used to just be able to think about myself. I don't know. I'm constantly worried about my kids or to put it another way. I don't give a fuck about other anyone else but me yeah, and now I had like yeah, do you return now? I have to pee Okay, so it's funny because you weren't super keen on this topic. You were like, no, I don't think so. And I said it's my fucking name on the podcast what I say goes and then I said, is that right? Yes, I think so. Yeah. Okay. I'm changing my name to Dad and bury my last time so it's good point Ironclad. But here's what I was saying. I was saying it was a little bit like Monday's right Vermin off sure, but people like a little people like to rant a little bit. Okay. Alright, so we're going to do RL Kraus, all right message me and said I love this topic and it feels like no one will admit anything before children is worthy of mention because she's no one's going to admit that they missed anything from their parent life because he says all things child-related should supersede your past and Jones is people are going to be sanctimonious about here's the thing for RL Kraus. This is not that kind of podcast. We don't have those kind of listeners. They don't have those kind of followers that we did them out over the years people were not shy about telling what they like or what they miss about Apparent life and we got into it that half of the people like Pete joked when I message it to them. They're just going to say everything. Yeah sure and a lot of them did say everything that person really stumbled into the wrong. Oh, yeah. Well our old girls maybe hasn't listened. Maybe it maybe hasn't been around that long. But I yeah, we're gonna no-holds-barred here. Maybe people know we're looking for Mom and buried she is a little bit sweeter. That's true. This this sweetness to my sour that it yuck tear yum, you know, yummy yummy yummy Um, so KML 218 was one of those people that basically said everything she said, I love my kids but this is too easy among the things she misses watching it watching something other than Daniel Tiger showering before noon not finding random shit in my purse money eating at restaurants being able to stay awake past stay awake past 10 p.m. With five am without five am wake-ups consequences. Can we start? Let's start. Let's stop that. A lot of these things get touched on later in the in the list. It's you know, there's one thing about like I just want to go out at night. We rarely are we talking about the morning where you got to wake up and you come home you pay the babysitter. You've had one or five too many or just 20 doesn't matter your cousin your continuing to drink. Yeah, and you continue to because guess what you try to have a good time exactly Xavier. How wake up America, this is America. It's your house. Maybe it's not your house. Maybe it's maybe it's house. Are your kids there? Who still America? But someone else's house in it's America. Guess what you wake up before their kids are waking you up. It's annoying and then a lawsuit implies and then you have McDonald's and then you go back and you salute the flag and you go right back out here and know what happened there. No, you're saying people don't talk about the morning after the the the wake up. It's just not hair when you need you needed to get away couple hours of sleep. No kids. That's okay. When you shoot what you should really do is get a babysitter in the Earning. Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Double baby. Because shift almost every hangover is secured by Mo the way right? So if you were able to get more sleep the odds that your hangover is going to be less or gone is are much higher but you got kids you gotta get up you gotta deal with him to get a flow of them are change their pilot this change their butts. Okay. What about when you were before kids, what was your hangover solution just walk us through walk me through it's not legal in this state. So I'd rather not say Okay, fine. Once you kick the other guy out Bloody Mary okay, or another a hair of the dog or just sleeping all day. You're waking up. Our that you wake up sleep mentioned aforementioned illegal substance, you're waking up at 2, right? Yeah, and then and then immediately either having the maybe wait an hour. Yeah, if we bullshit food grossest thing like you mentioned McDonald's perhaps right just to get you back to a point equilibrium, then you get and then of course your back with a Flowers Theory like I'm drinking wait, you don't see what the fuck is wrong with this place? Just give me the shot of vodka. Piston fine. What about a tequila soda? I don't drink tequila. Did you know that you know what? We don't like it never came up. So yeah, we're drinking we miss that and like she said the early wakeup consequences whether you are just tired or whether you're hungover getting woken up like that when you have kids when you have kids here's what happens 5:45. A sharp fingernail will separate you always do this eyelid and I poke your eyeball at which point you're like, but of course you can't speak because you're so hung over my toddler and then you go upstairs and then you put on the TV where you pass out and Daniel Tiger. Well, that's what she mentioned. She wants to watch the Caillou or Callie you Caillou. I've never seen it Caillou bitch about it all just never seen. What a what about Man's mini muffins and he'll just say it over and over and over until he's fucking dead with a fucking Mini-Me can't reach him but we usually put them on the counter just like you know, what where we make his older brother because all debris idea if you snort the mini muffins they get in your bloodstream faster. I should tell him so mom gone. Mad said I miss my job traveling going to the toilet alone ordering junk food eating out and she left an ellipsis, you know, the three dots as if to imply she could go on and on and on Coco Jay says Solitude sleep bathroom alone time silent swearing now. Now swearing you can still swear you you glossed over bathroom alone time while no, I'm gonna get it. Well, I guess it wasn't a category but really honestly it is important for fuck's sake. Can I just have literally insulin to school my phone except for you? Who welcomes and oh I love are you an open door policy? Hey what's happening? It's called nature. It's called except for a human body is beautiful is everything that has happened in his natural. Yeah, so you throwing up at the sight of me doing what I had. Change your Bots that I had to deal with that fucking visceral experience. But now I have yours it like that on the toilet like bird. Why did you lock Us in I have one of those buzzers like Matt Lauer if you come into the bathroom, I hit the thing so they can't get out just to be in there with me. What is happening? I just referenced Matt Lauer tight. Good luck. Good wraps that me too was it there's a deep pull you don't want it was a deep cut. I liked it re-read jcar underscore says Miss he misses or she misses vacations without bedtime sleep nice clothes. With quiet. All right, let's talk about this vacations without now. Well listen. Oh, how about this? Hey, let's get out. You know what? Let's go away. We've had such stuff. Let's go away. Let's get a hotel room how many hotels and we'll get one. Yeah. Okay. Well, first of all that's fucking not a vacation motherfuckers and I'm saying this to the you're saying I'm you have kids you have everybody in the one room everyone. Oh, what do you do? How can you snort cocaine it's hard underneath. The mattresses is one time gets everywhere. We put we were to shitty hotel or just like staying overnight like on I don't know. We're on a road trip and we had to pack and play and because we would like we knew our nine-year-old would fall asleep and he sleeps through anything, right? But the toddler or the baby at the time wake up. Wake up the we couldn't watch a movie right and we just wanted to or in the same room with them. Also. We put the Pack N Play perched on the Yep in the bathroom because it's the only way it would fit. So for a little precarious know what but you know what it's fine little plaque. I hope your little plastic on ceramic fine as long as we discover with anything. No, I'm just saying like, oh, yeah, as long as he doesn't move around too much. I'm sure it was fine. I was further get away. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. We told him that extent but also gives you bit of a problem with your shoulder. He looks like Sloth from Goonies thing you're gonna do But you don't want more loveable than ever and he says he often says hey you guys he does all the time. So sweet Melissa. 78-77 says she misses going to the bathroom by herself not hearing mom being called all the fucking time. She says all the forking time. What is this the good place? You have no idea what I'm talking about, especially while Dad is closer. So this is a mom Centric gripe money. All the money kids need new clothes every season all the school trips and lunches to pay for you. I never ends you're bleeding money. So this is a bunch of people to summarize the A lot of frustrations they have but with close though, that shouldn't be well Pete just gave me a bag of hand me downs as they are as he and his wife graciously do it's like once every month or so, let's do have way too many clothes on and by the way, we get our clothes. I don't think we've purchased except for my 12 year old now, which would now we start first one to get it. Yeah, if she's now she wants to buy real things. He's starting to buy her own clothes, but we have we have not bought clothes because of hand-me-downs we just will take from your brothers family from my brother Whether he knows about it or not, they whenever you busy so like something from the he's a hey have you received this what you know, I know man I don't want you talking about so weird. You took it just for you you took you stole some hand-me-downs from your older brother because I'm weird because I saw you in that in that Richard. Is he bigger than using his height on? Yeah. It was our it was my middle daughter sweatshirt was Tiny way down. I was like, but I feel like I just feel more comfortable in it. You know what I mean? You know Mike I'm going to need your valuable. Just thinking about that visual. You and your middle daughters or your brother's middle daughter. How many kids do you have 3 did you ask him what he misses about it? Parent left. Is he subscribe? No, I don't get arrested Stripes any tells me that I swear too much. You know what fuck that that's not true. So I asked people and then I went through and I tabulated like what were the biggest response has been tabulated a little bit. This is Big Data. The number one response was sleep people missed sleep the number two response, which was very close behind was Spontaneity / Freedom being able to do stuff whenever you want and being able to do whatever you want whenever you want to and number three was Solitude just having some alone time some time to yourself. I just I but okay so sleep clearly we've talked about this Geneva Convention can't sleep deprivation is an actual form of torture we know so so and so this is what your kids will do to you for what a year two years. I think it's forever. Okay, but I really think it is like my parents will stay up when I go visit them and they'll stay on the line until I get home. Really. Yeah, but they trying to find mostly sure and so that's what's so good about you not being lucky stars. 4583 says sleep hands down. There's no catching up ever. So a couple of the most couple of like the or one of the early kind of popular articles I had on my blog was called the real reasons reason parents are always tired and it's not because of being woken up and stuff. It's because you never have recovery time. There's never were a day where you get to sleep in and you get to like recover from the last day every single day that you have a baby and then you have another kid. It's just if you go to bed at 1:00, you're still getting up at fucking five or waking up coming down from the light or whatever every day that never changes and just once you lose those hours, you can never get them back and it just accumulates and accumulates and accumulates. But I mean, all right cool can't bank and you and then one of the dumbest pieces of advice people say before Dan is you gotta catch get as much sleep as you can you fucking listening to this and you don't have kids if someone says like Oh Bank, sleep now. Tell them fuck you. I'm going out. I'm doing a bin. Yeah, and I want to be back at me tell you that days and I don't know what's going to reasons they might be saying that and and one of them 95% of the time they're saying it because they're saying you gotta catch up because you're not gonna be able to get that sleep. Hold on, but if they're saying get as much sleep as you can now because you're going to miss it. I can appreciate that being like man. I love sleep so much. I really should like indulge right now of when I can but I know but that's not what they're saying. They're saying you need to bank sleep. Well, no, there are saying I mean, I would imagine that's one in the same meaning. No. Yes, enjoy your sleep while you can because sure patronising the most of the time they're not the point is as a threat or not. Yeah, exactly. Just enjoy your fucking life. Here's our in your third trimester. Here's what you need to do go out to eat as much as possible. You need to both do whatever you want to do each. Separately and individually as much as possible and then because when it falls on a timer, I have a different approach about the sleep thing and I've given this advice and I posted it once on my Facebook. You shouldn't tell people to catch up on sleep. You should tell people get used to not having sleep. Right? So you take a fucking just go out right fucking pull the Navy SEAL routine go three days without getting any sleep you get better at it because your rest of your life. If you know the function you're gonna have to be able to have fun. You're gonna be able to go out you can have to be able to do your job. Because of its are your kids you're exhausted. That's why you prepare. That's the right advice sleep. What you got to do is you need to train yourself to deal with it. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not enough fucking drugs for you. Guess what it go out and buy something. That's a fucking word trial God. It's not that hard motherfucker. That is going shit Amelie good eye. There's actionable gonna give you some names come back in half an hour you get your ass back out there. Exactly. And you find that fucking dog. You just fucking go and you know, what, if you're close to the wall the better you do the more you do it the better equipped. You'll be to be a fucking parent, you know, why and the function because decently no one. Can be better at being hungover, but like massively hungover, then I am currently I'm actually the right now ounce hungover Championship was like man hangover meaning so women don't like the man flew the women get mad if mad indulge their hangover sort of I'm going the opposite way meaning if it's I'll have gone to bed at 4:30. I'll wake up at 6:00 and then I'll be like, all right who wants breakfast and I'll be doing breakfast and we'll go to the park and then we'll do this and we'll do that and then I'll come home and then I'll just collapse into. Skin, so you don't you gotta solve and then it just it. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah. Well, that's what happens but not before I put on Daniel Tiger. Yeah for six straight hours Let's Evans. Just seven just until Bloody Mary time and my 12 year olds. Like what the fuck is this shit so before so we so there was another comment on the Sleep one. Somebody said, yeah. If only I had a pretty little charm ready said if only I'd appreciate it. I miss sleep so much, right and that's the thing. You don't really appreciate it. You don't realize but can I go back actually? Ali so sleep quite honestly, it's a little bit like Monday mornings, right? Yeah, you already made that joke. Okay. I really hated the think of it again a topic again so that your trouble yeah, that's okay, but make it better than Colbert's which I fucking hate. I hate it. It's a perfect joke. It was perfect at the beginning. It's perfect release the transcripts. So the one we didn't talk about spontaneity what we haven't gotten to it yet. There's a whole fucking section on it. You know, we're doing a Cast right we're not ending it right. Now. Are you acting like that was the end we talked about one topic segueing. I'm trying I'm you want to ski on a Segway. No. Well, that's not. All right, fine. Let's go. There's no Rhyme or Reason to this order. It's just really hard to transcribe these things. So I reckon. All right. Well, it's back-breaking. Why don't we do? Yeah, let's go to fucking here's the thing. I think it's really about go to the big boy. Yeah, because it was mon 1080 spontaneity. Shoop would says she says she misses spontaneous anything and that's the thing. That's every Other here, there's some more specific examples. But all you need to know is you are never ever doing anything in the spur of the moment ever again, you have to consider all of your kids. You have to consider what you're going to bring. You have to consider how much time you have a beast in advance. Oh my God. Oh my God, and then we can get out and then we can be like spontaneous for 45 minutes because after 45 minutes, we should really factor in traffic to get back at 100% or even have a job birthday party dude. We do we have to pay the babysitter. Do they take cash or vet? Or what what? Okay, see her l so actually, you know what? We have 20 minutes to be spontaneous go says she misses the ability to do anything without figuring out who will watch the kids. Right? So either you're bringing the kids with you which requires a whole different level of planning and all this shit. You have to schlep around and carry and all this junk and which car are we taking? I got to move the fucking car seat God damn it. But if you were going somewhere without the kids you can't even do that. The first thing you have to do is secure babysitter and a lot of times you will try to make a reservation somewhere and then you Try to get a babysitter and you waited too long and you're like shit and you're like try to get somebody to help another babysitter swap. I watch your kids next weekend watch mine and quite honestly, you know what Lassie is not a babysitter. I tried to do the collie thing. Like it's pretty smart rain the college. Yeah pretty smart about as far as a 5th grader. I've got a fourth grader. Yeah, they can get a smart as 5th grader. I've got a fourth grader. So maybe they can just kind of circle the kids like a border collie. Just keep them in the bag anything like if a fire starts in Gloucester barking And CNN 1C E. I don't know if it can once wouldn't it be Candice with the one maybe I typed it wrong? I don't know get back to us says quickly leaving the house to do anything is what she misses the most Deeds which is deed for Z says being spontaneous going out whenever I wanted especially last minute plans is no last-minute plans anymore. My man unless you live around family that you can like drop the kids off at the last second or something like that. And there are people that do have the benefit of family nearby if you were they have big Emily's and they could just leave and if you do that, you know absolutely amazing. But also you we collectively hate. Yes, 100% the data Barry podcast hates you if you have family we should sit if you have a wonderful family that you're allowed to draw me time. Yeah free babysitter. We did a whole episode on this by the way, because sick with Envy With Envy, that's right, but I still remember the time I can do you remember? It was no three years Inna not no. No, no. No one was that somebody that's there was it was three years ago my wife and I was I think for my birthday we got away and went to we go to a hotel different hotel in the city because we don't have to travel anywhere that don't say that I call that you in the throat. Let's hear it called bring a hat. It's called the hat called Manhattan City hit me come on, and we would go we go we want one. No, I meant. Hit me punch. And my parents who were watching the kids actually said, you know what like we got them to like three and you know, we are up of course because you're up naturally like whatever 10 o'clock in the morning. We were ready to kind of go out and we're about to like go home. And then we said what? Why are we going home? Why don't we just go to like, let's go to a gallery or someone's do some music on galleries hisses. That's just a museum house what to this like? I remember it vividly because of pop for the past 13 years. It was the time that your parents watch the kids know that way. Yes, exactly. Come on, Mom and Dad. Let's pick it up. But know that we were able to be spontaneous in that parenting moment. Well, that's it. You know what be able to just like sit around for like Three hours. I'm still we still went home. Yeah, right. We don't know what to do with. Yeah, because it after a lot of Tire eventually got into Camp Banks. We got here argument eventually. It's gonna work. But yeah, it was like the deal with each other. Let's go sale nine six. Seven one. O says, I miss the ability to drop anything and go anywhere without finding a sitter or waiting for the kid to put their fucking shoes on football. TNT futebol. TNT. Mom says I missed the ability to have less structured time spontaneity with my and after work, so that's the thing right again, like you need to have something planned for the kids. You can't just lounge around and lays around or how about like you do that and at the end of the day the kids are going stir crazy in there bouncing off the walls because they didn't get any of the energy out. My wife is constantly getting mad at me about that because I like a good lazy day but always backfires. I'm you know, the one thing is I will get these mods. I know get that we're doing something I'll take him anywhere. I'll take all of them anywhere you They come back and amazing. Dad. Pete. Come back at 2:30. Guess what time it is Bloody Mary time bedtime. It's a better car. Sorry kids. Sorry mother. So everybody is all these people said the same thing House of happy. How much does the ability to come and go as they please without having without having to pull some crazy Logistics magic exactly and see our weapons and says, I just miss spontaneous fun, whether it's drinks taking a walk going on vacation having dinner having company over whatever. That's all. All gone it is so hard to find it all scheduled to make it you need just need to have everything scheduled. You know what you said you'd do anything on a whim outside of go out do a Coke binge for 42 hours to prep yourself second one 42 hours. Why not? Yeah come back at 3 o'clock in the morning and make any sense. Just get a you got to be good at planning. You got to be good enough. That's not me. I don't recognize my me. This is my wife comes in. Yeah. So vacation and travel was another big one and I definitely can vouch for that. Right? So DJ e vo J case on says the misses the ability to travel whenever I felt like it. That's all gone. This Is My Jam says I miss money and traveling easily going to you're like going on to the airport is a hassle no matter what nowadays post 9/11 bringing your kids. You got a stroller. You may have a fucking car seat if you're if you're a psychopath you may have you have all these luggage. You're carrying a baby. Oh my God, it's hell on Earth. You have to get there so early you have to pack so much you going traveling with kids. You have to have your diapers. You have to have extra pairs of clothes for all these kids and it makes me fucking stressed out. I was talking about you know, what I do. Now with my twelve-year-old I pack my diapers and Herb. Oh that's good thinking and then I let her face when she opens at what those that's a triple capacity. Hey, thanks Tess. What when you gotta go you can really go just like NASA scientists so cross. Country back a for-real says she misses last-minute travel and plan. So this combining the spontaneity in the travel think she's like, I don't live near family. So no overnight trips without the kids, right? So even trying to get away for a weekend can be really hard unless you had the benefit of family and there were a couple of times I was able to do that. Yeah few years ago before I had two kids and before my parents got a little bit older. And before there were babies around that were more exciting to them my brother my brother's, you know, my niece's shout out to your brother for having much more cute kids than you or younger. And therefore they're cuter. Well, they don't do anything. You're right. And guess what your kids do everything they do way too much to be honest about it. Yeah. So the next big category was Solitude. That was the number three, right? So we did sleep we did spontaneity that went in to travel and we did Solitude so Solitude and not and and and the next week of the Solitude and freedom / having free time, right? So Solitude I think is a very big thing for me. Moms, especially if you're a stay-at-home mom could always a kid around and they're trying to take a shower happens to all parents, but I think for moms or this for a stay at home parent in general it's worse because you never have there's never a time where like a kid's not there if you have a young kid and he's not in pre-k or daycare yet. If you have an older kid, he gets home from school. Maybe have a couple hours if you're lucky but I for one really like some Solitude and it's tough. It's tough to get that even when you're married sometimes but when you're married and you have kids well going a lot of people don't realize is your job ends at 2:30. Yeah, and you get hours I have spent for us from my fighting the d-train exactly broken. My last says I miss being able to relax whenever I want now I have to wait till they're sleeping to relax. So I posted a meme. I had a meme that gets stolen all the time like copied and they put their own watermark on it and shit that was parenting isn't eternal struggle. Between staying up late to get some alone time or going to bed early to catch up on your sleep. I said that exact same thing to use your birthday party four years ago you son of a bitch, but I don't remember what the tote but the poll results were but it's a big struggle you turn into a whole always. I made that appalled you almost always for me. I'll choose alone time. I want to have those minutes when my kids are asleep and I can watch something by myself, or I can just listen to me the other night. I was I know I'm doing dry January just my wife was out. The kids are asleep. I was just sitting in my living room in the dark. Listen to Radiohead. I don't know if that's healthy but I was enjoyable. I enjoyed those the hour or two by myself before I went to bed. Yeah. No, it is it's precious. It is precious for sure. What's that if I could sit time? Battle it was just like it's a song Time in a Bottle O King Henry the eighth made. This was always Jim Croce. Is that it? Is it Jim Croce or Fred Croce? I can't remember. I'll come on. He's got a couple of good song. Anyway, does Duds mm Duds? Mom says she wishes she had some Solitude so she could read a book once in a while. I read on the train because the only time I'm able to during my commute to work Krista Monique says not having a tiny person talking at me all day. Yeah. This is what I'm talking about. It can be very annoying to have a little kid I Hina at your knees. I I got home tonight. I've walked in the door both my son and my youngest son and my middle daughter were having a great time and it immediately turn into wrestling between you and them or just open them treat them in them and I'm trying to get ready. I'm getting the stuff so we can go and record this and he did it get out the door my middle daughter comes home. I'm up we're talking it's been maybe two and a half minutes since I got home. Yeah. Hey everybody. Okay, cool, like doing this there now wrestling and wrestling the babysitter's still there. The wrestling has now turned into screaming. I'm coming up the stairs. My oldest daughter has come home with my wife. And now I'm at the top of the stairs with holding all the equipment and bags and stuff. And now everyone's yelling like everything everywhere every single person. For apples contagious is yelling at each other. Stop yelling you stop yelling. No, you stop your used up yelling and I'm like see this happens to be like come on. I'm just gonna every day so I work from home today. And as soon as my nine-year-old gets home from school. He starts going at his little brother immediately and then I start yelling at them and if mama bear eats home, she starts yelling at me for yelling at them and it's just a chain reaction is an abscess like a dice is why I would rather live by myself and not have a wife or family. Why is what I'm saying? You know what I want to be like, I'm going to my own apartment in the city in the past exactly. How behind we reach you. Yeah. I lost my phone. So another big theme was Freedom / less responsibility and I got to say the anxiety that in the stress that come with like we were talking about earlier having to worry about like where your kids are who's watching. M are they home safe? Are they going to get into a good college? You know it even goes that far sometimes. Well, here's what I would yes. I mean sure. Yeah. Okay. I mean you're worried. Sometimes you're like a little less worried than other times. Sometimes you're like hey, you know what? Sometimes you say like don't play in the street. Yeah, that's loudly than maybe because what happens kind of just roll it back as they as they roll as it's all God's plan. Yeah, they like asked on the street. Be careful. I like Willy Wonka. Yeah, no stop. Don't do that. Be careful, but I think what is you know it what you do think about or certainly as a dad who is you know, financially responsible for our family? Well, it's like little retrograde but I'm here. Okay, Don Draper. Well, that's that's the current situation is very much like okay. I got a really like make sure shit goes right here. Why's there go everyone's good. Under State. Yeah, I'm gonna be destitute or you you had the most recent experience. Yeah, I was unemployed and it was yeah, it was challenging it was a terrifying and but then thankfully my kids are way too stupid to make it any good college, so I don't have to worry about that that's off my plate but all say also they absolutely love goldfish and they do love go for seven months exactly and they're thriving not right not the goldfish that you're thinking alive growth live rat. Yeah swallow the whole fish a coil and the call in the past. The way when it becomes a koi fish, did you ever get one of those plastic bags kind of Carnival when I don't fucking have any idea when does a goldfish become a Coy? I don't know. They're the same thing. It's just a big goldfish. I have no fucking insight into this topic. I just came up with it now and I'm like, I want to look it up on the stop this podcast and look. So Kyla Myers 80 says she misses being able to do whatever I want when I want Alice met so says I missed the possibility of endless sprawling hours of freedom. It just sounds like ya fantasy. Doesn't it? Tell Brett 636 I missed having time and doing with with it. Whatever I want, right? That's what not doing that anymore. You gotta carve out a half an hour an hour. If you're lucky if you're lucky it's before the kids is before midnight. Do you know that I scheduled a try to schedule drinks to someone and it took like three weeks if figured out three to make it happen or to schedule it just to meet the person I haven't met. Them yet. It's still ongoing and the schedule keeps changing. Right do they have kids? Yeah, exactly. It's to have drinks. It's impossible to go out and have a drink after work right through weeks right from way over there. Now we have to get that out what you're not going home. Who's gonna be the worst things Carmen do says I miss the ability to run errands without 50 snacks and three meltdowns. Even like so she wants freedom to run errands. That's how sad things are. She wants me to run errands alone because it's such a nightmare, you know, what's up for parents? I'll go to the dentist fucking right now with my kids aren't there. I'll take that our yeah. Yeah, that's real way drill baby drill go. I want I said before put me in a medically induced coma for a couple of weeks. Yeah. I want even I won't even be conscious of the fact that I'm alone. But my body can soak it in Noble know here's the problem though. You'll wake right up and your kids will be there. Nothing happened. Yeah, they'll be there just passed out. What happened God that's a what happened. I woke up God damn it. You're ruining everything Ashley in the B says she wishes she had the freedom to spend a lazy weekend doing nothing without feeling guilty about it. Therefore that guilt comes in. So my wife gets really guilty if we haven't taken the kids somewhere if you didn't do something or we wasted one of our fucking days God forbid the like in April the first sunny day the year will happen. Right and my wife will act like like we're not going to have the next five months of Summer and nice weather and she'll be like, it's the fucking last absolute sunny day we're ever going to have we have to fucking know maximize it and I'm like dude, you're just resting your out especially yourself out thinking like that. We just went to the bodega. Yeah. Exactly. Let's see what happens. It'll be fine. You got to plan some shit. I don't want to do that, but she's right in that not getting the kid. We're not doing some stuff won't get old after all. Yeah, I'm I agree with I'm just I will I'll do anything to get my kids out of the house by now. And by the way, I'm I feel like I'm more of a morning person personally. Like I will I have most of my energy in the morning time. Yeah. And so what I want to do is capitalize on that and then in the afternoon and evening, we had just shut it all down. So I want her handling. I mean sure but I mean you take the Morning, she takes tonight. I mean now in an ideal stance that that's what would Radha is like tacos and I'm also envisioning see I always think of like how I'm going to take the kids in the morning and in the evening and afternoon and have it all planned out and that's why everybody I would I love when my wife is able to get some time to herself until one trips to recharge your batteries. Yeah, go enjoy yourself. Some of us gave us some somebody gave us lead the life beforehand where somebody was like, where are your kids and somebody was like, The wives the games have it so easy. Guess what? Yeah right. Now they are with the wives on Saturday night. I was with the kids. My wife was out partying and also on the Thursday night before that in the fucking Tuesday night for book club, right? You don't know my life. We're responsible parents. Yeah, and we're responsible husband to let our wives go and have a good time because we know it's important and then when we do channel that anger we put into this thing. Yes, exactly. We bitch about it, even though now, I'm defending what we do. Do we know kind of I'm a good person. Gotta get hat, but you ran away Sunday. So one of my favorite things to do is we were talking about Freedom be able to do whatever you want. One of my favorite things to do is before I was married is when I lived in Boston would be like on a Saturday morning and like the spring. Take a walk put on some headphones and go to like Tower Records some how old I am gonna hug. Someone go to Tower Records and go to like the listening stations. And this is a couple of songs. I've a couple albums and maybe buy a couple of albums just killing like three hours of walking somewhere and getting lunch with or without a friend. Sometimes just on your own or just or then like get that album and drive around with you Discman something akin to your car radio sometimes or drive around a lot of time with it by myself. So I like being by myself. Yeah Solitude is actually we try I was ostracized doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it listen clarinet. Oh my God, not in college. Not until you have a real problem with clarinetist snow know what are you gonna do? You have a problem with Woody Allen now all of a sudden? Yeah. No, so I think that just being being able to be able to do. Well that's that the spontaneity just being able to do that is that is the word so I feel like Solitude and spontaneity or sand in hand. Yeah. Well and so is freedom so it's really just sleep. And yeah, then that one I kind of was like this topic is pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, we'll just like, you know Boom because husband our children to you know, what brutish burn 1983 says before kids there was less anxiety because you were only screwing yourself up now. It's a whole other person or more than one are really gonna screw up. Sierra Roxanne says the same thing not having to worry about someone other than myself 24/7 k.will 37 says not having any significant concerns. All right, but she's talking about taxes. I don't have anything. I don't have kids. I don't know literally care about nothing and she likes she misses having Money to play with me to although I never had money to play with even before I had kids talk Monopoly. Now, why would drop says I travel for work a few times a year and I miss being able to relax when I finally get home instead. I get home and get thrown right into bath time or some other parents and sure you know, why because you've been out of the house not parenting for a couple of days you walk in it's like, oh, she'll your turn. You know, what there you go. That's the bargain that you strike though. When you when you're at your relax work job job. You're relaxed word Raptor your me time when you're at your job like fending off toxic email. And I think managing to stay alive and traveling which is so fun, which is traveling from a conference or from an office and you come home. It's like here's a screaming baby and deal with it. And yeah, we do over up. Yeah, and I'm sure lie would drift us to so a lot of people said they miss their old selves. So what's funny is one of the reasons I started my blog way back in 2010 a few months for my kid was born was because I saw a lot of my friends having the first kids and disappearing so they're socialized Disappear I didn't but also much but also like their personality suddenly, they wouldn't be cool or fun anymore. And they kind of they would they get into the ship. Luckily. I'm a role model. I feel responsible parent mode kind of thing. Right and one of the reasons I started my blog was I want to have an outlet for this part of my personality which happens to be the entire thing where I'm just rant and I'm sarcastic in a jerk and make fun of my kids. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't want to lose that and I haven't because Dad and buried his thriving and we're on Tick-Tock now, but with chapstick on our Oops. So here we go. This is it you've this is your Opus but a lot of people did say they miss their old selves. So HB G 6 6 6 says she misses her entire life before kids a handful of women said they miss their old bodies Lego 13:11. I miss my old hips skin elasticity and boobs. Yeah Tinkers pixie says I miss my body Rachel Bush Jones. My pre-pregnancy body rip Gina underscore MDM 78 my body. I don't say don't say rip guys, you can get it back. Really? I think I mean really I think there's lots of tips out there. Got to do try January like me. Whoops missed it. I guess maybe next year because you can't do another month obviously from non from you know from a man's perspective from a dad's recycle. I was I was a big fan. Yeah, but the change is a woman's body undergoes are different there and fucking what the fuck is this pregnancy shit is crazy. It is crazy. My sympathy pains were actually worse than when my wife went through but that's a rare case no time. Gil 21 says I miss the person I was before kids because of everything you mentioned all of the stuff we've been talking about and also because I wasn't an emotional wreck trying to survive between panic attacks and anxiety about everything I think some people's anxiety does go into overdrive because all of a sudden you're like, I got to protect my kids really nuts and tree nuts and bees and we haven't seen a pers and terrorism and all how about when you're like, oh I'd everything's gonna be fine. Then you have a job you have your kid and then all of a sudden you're like, oh, wait, what's post part of? Oh, I fucking nothing. Oh, yeah. I hate everything that's so horrible. That is horrible fucking garbage. And guess what? I feel that way every day, but I just it's not called - it's called like it's called how I feel about my life. Yeah, so a bunch of people mentioned they miss the sex they were able to have my underscore cat 321 says I miss having sex sleep wake up have sex sleep repeat because he got to take care of people in between. You can't do that. And you don't exhausted Alison Michelle Alison, Micheline says she misses sex in the living room you can They'll do that. Yeah, I can't be like, you know 230. Well, you have to Jen Fetch and I need says probably having sex anytime of day in any room we want. I mean, yeah, I mean you can do it you packed your can't cook and do it panting whether you care just need to expedite below explain real good. Let me see. This is how you were born kids or just the kitchen or just like PPM. Don't worry. I'm trying to fix something Maria Maria am trying to be happy. I'm wrestling. Your kids will be like, hey fixing the washing machine again. That's not how you fix a watch Maria. EF laughs says being able to have sex wherever and whenever Kate Kate bow Bates has weakened sex without having to hurry up and be quiet. So yes, the sex life is fewer and far between just like doing anything for fun by yourself without the kids involved this harder. Yeah, I mean and not only that but like the okay good. Let's get the movie going. Let's make sure how yeah things have doors every door. Yes is lot of the other day. My kid tried to bust in the door was locked and then afterward we had to explain the doors. Like I don't know who locked the door. We were just talking about something. I don't know. What odigo is. My toddler is constantly locking doors. Yeah from like the inside of the leaving the room. So I pretended that's that he did it because otherwise the kid come they don't knock they just run to the door so jiggling the handle trying to get in right terrifying for everybody we talking about now the toddler her magic talk about it. My wife is making strange sounds and there's a man in the other room and I was trying to get it. Why is Greg in this working on the Greg Greg? I fucking love great. No, no not what you thinking. Oh like my heart. Great. Yeah, I don't know which Greg you're talking about. So what's funny is in the random section here random things people missed. Some people said that they missed I'm going to a restaurant and sitting at the bar but even getting a high-top you can't because if their stools and stuff the kids can't sit in those. Some people mention having less laundry. They miss only having laundry for to or only having to do it once a week weird thing to Miss J night 62 says I miss no one sneezing in my eyes. You know, what right in your eyes. You know what that's weird. What try your mouth next time. Try like no meaning like try and like open your mouth. Yeah. Read it Ashley lay Ashley Ave. 0 1 says she misses time to spend with friends. Most of my friends are childless. So play dates aren't a thing and mandrin with a zero for the O says the same thing. We are the first and only parents in my group and nobody really gets exactly so exactly it guess what they're all like, hey, come on over. Let's come on out you like actually I can't can look all the Wardrobe in the baby yet. No, you don't understand. It'll be great. Bring the baby, you know understand my kid has colic you fucking assholes or like we haven't slept in my kids missed his nap today. And if I bring him out in public, it's gonna be a fucking shit show a beach like hang out. So here is an interesting ones Crystal Brook and the two o's Those are backwards parentheses for some reason says in his crystal kar-wai says I was 17 when I had my first kid. So I don't even know what a dolt life is like kid-free we talked about we talked about this having kids young or later. So you're going to but here's the thing Crystal check that out when you're 30, you're basically done 3233 you're done and you have your entire you're still young you're high-fiving your you have your entire life a like that but you have like a like a full grown adult that yak you up? Can babysit if you have younger kids so we did a whole episode on this. You should go check it out. Whether it's better to have kids when you're young or old kind of the pros and cons of that. I said of situation a person that I know from my wife's had a kid when he was a freshman in college so around the time and now he's our age his kid is in college. Oh my God, that's unlikely verbal. What the fuck like he's probably partying right now for years younger than Patrick Mahone's like literally. Yeah, like holy fucking shit. That's crazy. Yeah. I have a kid. I have a couple of friends whose kids are real close to that Patrick Mahone's the first few friends in your group that you know that had kids and like I have a fucking four-year-old and I have a kid friend of mine his daughter gonna be one college in a year or two. It's crazy. I just I like I hate that friend of yours. Me too. You know why I hate the furniture store. I could call and Katie Carl says 79 says I don't remember what life was like before kids and isn't that tragic? That is no that's tragic. But I feel like come on. Well, you know, we're going to talk next week about some of the perks of having kids. What do we like most about about our parent lives changing it up a little bit. So Katie Carl 79 says she doesn't remember what life was like before kids and Pete was like that's not a bad thing. I love my parent life so much. I fucking love it you've Evolved you've changed you don't remember who you used to be. You know, why could you sprouted Wings? You know what my friend and when we started this podcast, I got it all out of my system now just and now I'm like, yeah, we've got this we're changing the format of the podcast and all my social media. Yep small just going to be me putting chapstick animal staring at the camera and being positive about Parenthood. Well because it's come to this now, which is 2R cunt fucking now April Fools, Would have been a good episode 4 April fools it's do what we like about our kids. It's still there's still time. No, but if April Fool's doesn't fall on the right day that there's no point in doing that. You can't do April Fool's unlike April 5th. Okay. Well, I don't know but this is look at those now behind the scenes April 1st is a Wednesday. We're really gotta come up with something else. I know it will do I already came up with it. You just like that fucking snap synaptics. Classic Dana bows. They really like the sibling rivalry episode. She said this might be my Favorite off the rails out of the gate episode yet. She commented that on YouTube is on YouTube. You can comment under individual episode and we're going to like we're going to ramp it up Ash. At least the Maori said the same thing. This is my favorite episode yet because it makes me feel great about having an only child out. You know, what Alicia it's your only child and your non sibling rivalry, which is our previous episode which are go check it out folks and then subscribe on Apple and give us a rating on Apple subscribe. Subscribe Spotify or something. But like also just fine. Just give us a rating. Please five stars. You leave a review if you want but a rating but you were going to say something to Alicia. You were gonna say something nasty. Yeah. I was going to hold and say I was just gonna just complete part will say that quick real quick. Let me just do this without I don't want you to leave your train of thought in between like it was a five star rating. Let me just quickly just really is this where you were shitting all over one of our list Mentor just let me fucking rip or tear her apart. Guess what we'll do that next week. See you next time. We talk about things we like about parenting so bring your fucking shit. And yeah that even mean in a bag I can shit bring it in a bag here you go. Bring your my fast positive responses for next week. Don't worry. We'll find a way to so it is pretty don't worry about for told, you know, five site. I know but like we've got like two four stars. It's a come on we don't need more for starters. We need more 5 Stars. We love you. Thank you so much you guys.
Remember being able to meet up with friends spontaneously? Wait, why are tears streaming down your face?...What's that you say? it's all you can think about? Well, my friend, take that memory and shove it in a box then push that box waaaay on down in the deepest part of your memory hole cause those days are over. Mike and Pete hear stories from yore and even yonder about what life was like back then. Personally, I'm glad those days are over. I'm much more of a devote-every-waking-hour-to-a-human-who's-indifferent-at-best kinda guy. 