this episode of Molly's minutes is sponsored by depop depop is the Community Marketplace app where creatives come to buy sell and discover the most unique items from around the world for many of us including myself fashion is a form of expression a way to tell a story of who we are how we are feeling and what we stand for whether you want to shock Inspire Rebel or just experiment depop gives you the space to do just that without breaking the bank or the planet download the app for IOS and Android now or head to deep up.com to get started. Nobody Rings me. Anyway, though these days to be honest before my mom. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, hello everyone. Hello. I'm here with Joanna Scott. Did I say that correctly? Okay, just in case you never know and welcome back to Molly's minutes and thank you for coming back. This is the first podcast I've recorded in a little while because I had such a backup as I was saying Shauna earlier, and I'm really excited to have you. Because female sexuality and sexuality in general has become a topic of great interest to me. Yeah read it. I'm like I started reading up and watching TED talks and listening to podcasts about sex and I was just like discovered that I didn't know that much about myself. Anyway, we'll get into that and but you want to kind of say who you are and what you do like might be a bit broad. What so my name is Shawna Scott. I run an online sex shop called sex shop a dolly. It's the only sex shop in Ireland. First of all multi-award-winning. Yeah go on. Yeah, well toward winning and it's the only sex shop in Ireland that I'm aware of that stocks products that are made solely with my safe materials cool. So so that means that the products that I stock are it would be safe for internal use they're made from materials like Wanted hard plastic and stainless steel stuff that's like non-porous doesn't no toxic chemicals or anything like that. He what is the regulations to do with no sex toys. Sorry. Just ignore me. I'm just fixing my we're okay. But um, yeah worldwide like the industry is largely unlike unregulated so you can make a sex toy out of any old material and it's perfectly legal to do so, but I do have mixed feelings when it comes to regulation like when I first started Arted the shop. I was like, yes gung-ho regulation. But then the more I kind of read up on it like what it would require for a company to have FDA approval in the States because like most of most of the manufacturers would be American brands, but there's a lot of like independent brands in like the UK and Europe and like all around the world like people who are just like little mom and pop Etsy shops making like, Nice hand poured silicone toys who would like like I know a lot of them would Supply some of like the the bigger like feminist run retail places as well like in the states and they would be completely cut out of the industry if we required FDA approval for sex toys. So it's one of the few cases where I would say like the market will kind of fix itself and we and we've Seen that already in the last like 15 20 years. We've seen massive growth in like the silicon and silicon manufacturing like 20 years ago. The only Soul silicone manufacturers. I think we're Tantus and they're based out of Nevada the United States and back then like silicone was massively expensive. But now we're it's gotten to a point where like Platinum cured silicone like the the safest like form of silicon. Is is much much cheaper. It's almost just as cheap to make a silicone toy as it is to make like a PVC toy, which is what you like most. If you have an idea in your head of like a pink jelly like Crystal jelly dildo. That's like all Wiggly that's those are made of PVC. Okay, and to get PVC to that like Wiggly State you have to throw in tons and tons of plastic softeners and that's where the problem lies. It's like those plastic softeners are the In group of them is called phthalates and their band and children's toys in the state's up to like point one point zero one percent of a toys entire makeup can be these phthalates, but because it's not regulated and sex toys historically. It's meant that PVC toys would have like huge amounts of phthalates in it to get it to that jelly-like consistency. So a lot of female founded sex shops, and I'm kind of like feminists and like Co-op sex shops have really been pushing. Seeing education on this and letting their customers know and ever since like, you know, we have like high-speed internet like informations getting to as much faster. So it's much easier to educate the public on like you need to make sure that the sex toys that you're buying our body safe like made a body safe materials because otherwise they can cause irritation they can cause there's been like anecdotal stories of people who have gotten like chemical burns down there. Yeah and there. Others report would have come out that have linked phthalates to to cancer. So we just need to be like more careful and oh and then the other thing with like PVC choices at their poorest and that's why I like those chemicals Leach out of the pores. That's why if you get a jelly toy they tend to degrade over time if you like. If you try to like store them they they start to like sweat if it's in like any kind of Like warm space it'll little sweat and that's the chemicals like leaching out of it. So, oh my God, I'm like higher fight. It's not gross. So I like silicone all the way. Yeah. Yeah. So silicone toys Stainless Steel toys, you can get like like really pretty wood toys that are coated with polyurethane because polyurethane is body safe. Okay. So yeah, there's there's plenty of materials out there that are just as cheap or a Like slightly more expensive than the gross pink jelly dildos that you'd get like normally. Okay. I'll see I have no experience of dildos that just like wouldn't penetration just like doesn't like it's not that it doesn't it interests me with another human. Yeah, but not with a toy. Yeah, but what is your experience with toys? Like what led you to start the shop? So I started the shop because I was in the market for a vibrator the vibrator that I had kind of Died a death so I needed a new one and I was doing like my my own like product research and from that. I was just like I wanted to I knew I knew what Toya want to get and I couldn't find it and any of the Dublin shops at any time. I went in any of the Dublin shops. I felt found it was a very male-dominated space. I felt kind of uncomfortable shopping in like Dublin sex shops. So I the next time that I went home, I'm from Seattle originally. So the next time I went Home, I went to Babeland which is our big like female founded sex shop. A lot of people would know Babeland because they have a few outlets in New York. It's where there was a report that Beyonce had bought like a $15,000 like vibrate like gold-plated vibrator. That was for Babeland. So so if Babeland sounds familiar to you, that's probably but they're originally from Seattle. So I went there and I I was just really Blown Away by the customer service by the like the merchandising was just fab. And I'd like I joke about this all the time that like natural light does a lot of you have a sex shop like maybe maybe don't black out the window. But again like it was just it was presented. So like naturally and like, you know, this isn't a big deal and and you know, we this is the should be like a fun shopping experience it does. Need to be intimidating and I felt comfortable asking questions of the staff. So and I and I you know got really good answers. They knew their products in and out and and I came home from that experience and was like, I feel like I need to run a sex shop and I texted my friend Tara and I was like Tara I think I need to run a section and she was like, yeah, I think you absolutely do and so her and I I did a few kind of like Market stalls. We made our own like little Kink accoutrements like kind of hitting things and like Wax jugs for like pouring candles and stuff. And so we did like a few things like that and then she went off and started her own design business and was like, look I want I really want you to take this and run with it and make it your own and so I did and then about a year later I set up sex Java and its current iteration. It's absolutely incredible because I know what you mean. Like I've gone into a sex shop in cable Street when I was like in first-year college like at the very start so to being like 1918 and I let us walk straight out. Like there was it was dark there. I could tell the person behind the counter didn't know much about like, you know, like couldn't give me like an informed decision or even that I would be comfortable talking to you. Yeah, and as you say it was very like male-driven and like there was just like just huge like veiny penises everywhere. Like it didn't I wasn't looking for that, you know, don't ya and I was just like, oh my God, this is too much. I don't know why I ever thought I could do this and I came away from the experience like this card and I didn't try to buy a sec story for another like year. Yeah. And so I really what you're doing because it well for me and I know for a lot of other girls, they are not like they're not having the pleasure that they can or they don't think that they can even get pleasure. Like have you find that with females that they maybe haven't have had orgasms or their life has been changed. I always thought like a lot of the people that come to me. I mean, I do have lots of like really great regular customers as well who have you know, bought their first vibrator. Mirror their first like butt plug from me and have like come kept coming back to me like time and time again because I made that their first experience like really unintimidating and but I'd say like most of my customers would be like first time first time buyers first time like ever ever getting the sex toy. And so I want like it means so much to me that they've put their faith in their trust in me. I want that experience to be really good and I it's part of the reason why I gift Wrap everything as well. So if you're like buying a toy for me, like I don't care if you want it or not. You're getting a gift. Right if anyone deserves to have their sex toys gift wrap with a fucking bow on it and people of Ireland. So it's just like I wanna I want to make that that experience like fun and make them feel like they're investing in themselves because like they are they're investing in their own sexual health and sexual pleasure. So like why wouldn't we want to like celebrate? Yeah, and you don't put return addresses or like make it obvious that it's no no, so so I understand while I'm very loud and proud about like I love my sex toy and I understand that not everybody is going to feel that way. So when people order from me and the way that it works, it's either in a box or like a like a bubble envelope and it's just got the return address or if they're getting it sent to a person Motel just the person Hotel labels. It doesn't say it's from a sex shop and again like it's Trap so no one's going to see like what's inside it. Anyway, unless they're going to be that person and unwrapping. No one wants to be that person. Have you fun that people? Like obviously people are embarrassed. But where were you surprised about how embarrassed people could be a by talking about sex even in you've talked on panels and I'm sure you answer a lot of questions even just on Instagram on a daily basis. Have you idiots like people well people are less embarrassed than we think they are. Okay, there's some people that like, you know, it's kind of a middle ground. Like where are they? They're not necessarily embarrassed by the toys. They just don't want there. Kids opening it like that kind of thing and I can I can understand that or like people who live with their parents. They don't want to get it sent to their house and have like their mom or dad heaven forbid like open up their butt plug. Yeah. So like I get that like they want a certain level of privacy but like Ireland's way more liberal than we give ourselves credit for I think we've seen that in the last two referenda that were if we're given a platform to say what we need to say to like to talk about sex like we will talk about it. It's just we've never get been given that platform before and so there's been times where I have been given giving a talk or I've been sitting on a panel discussion and we'd go to the audience and be like does anyone have any questions and nobody raises their hands? And so I'm like, right the first person to ask me something gets a free bottle of lube and then all of the hands go up, so it's just like incentivizing people to be more open and giving them a platform to Do it and there's another time I was giving a talk and again, like nobody raised their hand for the questions and I and then finally like I just I kind of look to a friend of mine like he got asked a question. Otherwise, no one's going to put their hand up. And so I got a friend of mine to ask a question. And then from that someone else asked a question that another person asked a question and then like one woman stood up and like raised our hand and like was asking about three ways and they ended up. Eventually, we just kind of pass the mic around the room. Like we're just we're just going to do an advice like a lion column here. So it again like if you give people a chance to talk about it, like it'll they just need like a minute or two to get over themselves. And then it's fine. It's absolutely fine. It always just baffles me because like sex is I know we all know this it's just like something that we all go through. Yeah. It's one of its one of the few things. Sacks and pooping fairly University like it's just it baffles me. And I mean, I was completely the same like I think where I grew not where I grew up but as in like just like the situation my parents are really like fine about all things sex. Like as I said, my mom told me to follow you when I can which is so awesome by the way more my friends and people around me like I don't know it would have been so embarrassing to talk about sex. I never talked about sex and Mike I've actually so yeah, I've heard that from like more and more younger people like people in college saying like that. They just wouldn't talk about sex with their friends and I I'm trying to remember if I don't think like me and my friends ever really talked about sex, but then once I was in my 20s, like we absolutely did but I but I noticed that like people Who are giving consent classes more and more say like young people aren't talking about sex. Like they're probably talking about sex less than previous generations. But which just makes it all the more like, I don't want to say. Yeah dangerous. Let's go with danger. It is dangerous because our STI rates are going up like chlamydia and gonorrhea are up like 30 percent each year for the like the last like few years or something like that. Like that, I'd known in Ireland my age gets checked. We I literally it's a question now that when I'm out people like hate me because like who asked this question but like I just get so intense so quickly, I think it's because I run a podcast like that. I'm just so not used to having normal conversations anymore. And I'm like, do you ever get checked and I like I but then you finally get normal conversation. I haven't gotten one yet. So far one. Yes, which is bananas because there's so many like there's free places in Dublin to do it. You can get it done at James's Hospital you can get Done it the Mater hospital for free and then most colleges will have free testing as well. So there's no excuse you guys your literary isn't on if you are if you like you're taking someone else's like reproductive organs into your own hands. If you are not getting check like it's just it's just not into your own house. That sounds so weird. Why don't you join us? It's just so bizarre like even on it's amazing. I went to the doctor the other day. Day with like a different problem to of my period And she was like by the way, I'd like do you need like to do an STD or STI tests? Yeah. She just gave me one was like drop it back in its free free just like off the bat and I was like, thank you so much. Like that's really important that you said that to me. No, no doctors ever said that to me. Yeah or and yeah, just it baffles my mind like ever since I started talking about sex with random people like there was One girl. I was just randomly talking about vibrators. Yeah, and I was like, honestly I never I'd had like a few orgasms. You're like like nothing until I got a vibrator and she was just like oh, yeah, I've had a little those are orgasms weird. I completely sober having this conversation and then she was drunk like two weeks later and she was like, oh my God, I never had an orgasm. I got of my videos amazing like amazing. I was like what the fuck like smelling like shit is like people want permission to yeah. Yeah, get those kind of things. Yeah. Yeah, why would you why would the tips that you would give to people if they were it was the first time buying a sex toy? So first I'm buying a sex toy like think about what you like when you are like currently masturbating. Do you like penetration? Do you like mostly like external clitoral stimulation? Because anyone who says like the g-spots differ from the clitoris guess what? They're not. It's the internal clitoris. So I'll send you on like a there's A diagram of like the internal and external clitoris the the external clitoris is sorry. I'm like totally going off of something here. The external clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg. There's like it's got like arms and shit like underneath like like underneath your vulva and like that kind of wraps around the vaginal canal and that's all like really super sensitive as well. So so when they say like your when your fingering someone or yourself to press like up and like forward That's because that's rubbing the internal clitoris. Okay, so so you have to like determine like what do you what do you like the most is it internal or external like stimulation? Do you like anal stimulation? Do you like your nipples played with that kind of thing and and determining from there like what toy is going to suit you best. So I was on a podcast recently where I gave one of the hosts a vibrator to try And she came back and said that she she liked it. She enjoyed it, but he realized because of her masturbation style. She likes em more pressure and this toy wasn't giving it because it had like two little ears that like vibrated that that wasn't giving her the pressure that she she needed. So I'm going to try to try to find her a vibrator that's going to see because I can't have her out in the world without a good vibe. So it's just it's figuring out like trying to figure out like what You like normally and then applying that to a toy style. Yeah, because for me I got very lucky. I just I bought one and it just worked for me. But I know from listening to other podcasts and just from generally like having a vagina. I always thought there was something seriously wrong with me because I didn't like I got something from penetration, but it's not the same. I genuinely thought there was something wrong with me and I remember talking to a girl in school about it. I like being like like I think that like I'm asexual like I like everybody thought that yeah, and she was like me to like and I think a lot of young girls think this. Yeah, so that's that's a myth that's kind of been perpetuated by like film and like romantic comedies and and like, you know mainstream porn is that like women can come by penetration alone and only like 75% of women cannot come from penetration alone. So you not insane say like right so we got I needed to hear that. But any but anytime you like watch a movie and there's a sex scene. It's like penis goes in vagina not even warm up when there's right. They just like even for the guy like, I know that guys it's sometimes do that, but it's just like and then then it's just dumb like that. It's done. I don't like they both come together whatever happens very rarely happens and then they fall asleep and it's like it's all over. Antic and we need to like get away weary because I find that like incredibly damaging because if you're telling if you're telling young women that that is the way that like you come and they're not able to do that. Like like you said you feel like there's something wrong with you. I'm seriously and so like it's also meant that there's an entire like generation or five million of guys out there. There who think like if I can't make a woman come from my penis and there's there's something wrong with me or if she needs a vibrator to get off. Well, then there's something wrong with me. And so like I've been in relationships with guys who did not want me using my vibrator because it intimidated them because they felt like well if she has a vibrator then she doesn't have any use for me. Now those relationships were short-lived because if you're telling me that I can't use my vibrator. You're right there. No use for you because it's really really for a lot of women. It's very difficult to get off and either because of performance anxiety. Like I know we talked about performance anxiety in in the context of like men getting an erection, but it's the same for women sometimes like we we find it difficult to to get there in front of another person because like we're so used to like doing it ourselves and also like kind of Assumed with the idea that like we need to be we need to be sexy and like pretty when we come but like when I'm masturbating I make the ugliest goddamn face. It's like having a seizure like yeah, and so like you need to that you need to find someone that you can comfortably have that like ugly come face, but also like find someone who's going to be like comfortable with you getting off. However, you need to get off for some women. It is sex like for me, I mean like it's different for everyone. It depends how you get off but like sex isn't just like penetration, you know what I mean? And I mean for a lot of people that isn't like obviously this is like me talking I was like a straight person but like for a lot of people penetration isn't sex but not for long. Yeah, right people to be to be clear like queer people don't usually have these problems because there's much better at communicating like what they need. To each other than straight people are and but again it's down to like media representation like up until fairly recently. There wasn't a lot of media representation of like queer sex. And so they're able to kind of like build their culture and build their communication like on their own without this sort of already like contextualize like this is what sex is supposed to be because like again like everybody's saying sex is hetero sex. Anyway, yeah. So yeah when I when we talk about like sex X like just generally and people having problems communicating during sex. It's pretty much all of the heteros. Yeah, literally like I remember I was listening to a podcast called. How come with Remy kasmir and she had their sex therapist on and I think it was the guy who wrote she comes first. Okay, and and he was saying that like, sometimes if people have really bad problems like straight couples have really bad problems with communication. He's And watch some like male gay porn. Yeah, he was like, I don't want you to do it like get off like I don't care if you do get off to that but like whatever he was like just see how they communicate but like especially if the mom has like is has learned sex from porn which today like I know like when I was younger, I wasn't watching porn to like for my own pleasure. I was watching it because I was like, this is how I'm gonna learn about sex because oh my God, what all my friends do that's what I was actually told to do by my friends. I'm to be honest. I've probably told people to do that as well when I was younger because There was nothing to do with like for like straight guys say I went to Mexico their pleasure. Probably the height of their pleasure is probably penetration. Yeah, and when you're having the sex talk because it's just all about pregnancy for some reason. It is just about penetration. So like that's them kind of like they got a little bit of Education obviously not as much as they need because of the Litany of it is they know how to get off because the way that they get off has always been the way you have sex exactly. Yeah, but for girls You just leave so compute like I actually left like probably more confusing damaged. And yeah, we were all like let's like that's the only time I probably did talk to my school friends about taxes that we are like, oh how you learned how to like give head as from pouring like I got to this is give and that's why everyone's making it that my generation. I think and what yeah, we're going to take a quick break because the time is right to get up and my camera and then we'll come back and and okay. Yeah, we're going to keep talking about that whole learning from porn thing. Yeah. So one of the one of my my favorite things it's like anyone who said about like learning or sex that from porn came from Dan Savage where he was talking about how you shouldn't take porn as like real sex. It's like the Olympics of sex like they're they're putting in a lot of hard work because it has to be entertaining right? So so like if you think about like porn stars as being like the Olympians of That's like expecting like a regular person to do like a triple Axel of blow jobs. Like you can't you can't expect anyone to like gain any kind of like Knowledge from porn other than like put slot a and to tab be yeah and also it's like there's like lights there is a sash. Yeah. It's like for the most part. Yeah. I'm but I'm talking about like say I don't know. Like a lot of porn say on horn Hood now is like, you know might be just like really home ad stuff but like the there so it's still like a theatrical like a lot more that's like it's being filmed and secret which I would hope that there's nothing out there like that. But like it's always going to be a theatrical like experience and like a lot of it's like girls just like just anyone make those noises when you're having sex, um some people there Most people yeah and but you put up a post about pouring the other day that I was really interested in. Do you want to talk about it a little bit Yeah, so there has been kind of like a viral thing every now and then like PornHub will do like infographics. I keep like touching your plans portable like send out like a like an infographic of like information about like porn viewership in the different countries. Excuse me. That's a yeah and Ireland especially like has come up with like some some pretty some pretty funny like statistics. Like I can imagine did you know that the one time of year that porn viewership like takes a dip? Can you guess what that is? There's one time of year where it's like it's fairly consistent all year long and then it just takes a nosedive. Christmas close. I don't know. It's Dairy is dairy. It's a time when there's something on TV. The Late Late Show the late like Toy Show what? Yeah fuck because everybody's watching it everybody in Ireland watches only 20 show and so porn viewership goes down, but they came out with an infographic last week that showed sorry. I'm so shocked. It showed the most popular categories in each County like in comparison to the rest of the counties in Ireland. And they didn't include the north which I thought was funny but they the categories are like they haven't changed their category categorization and it's not just porn hub. It's like it's all of the major which I think most of them are owned by the same parent companies PornHub now, but most free tube sites have the same sort of category category or ization like system. Sorry, I can't even talk today. Stop the hard word categorization. Yeah grazing and and they're really like a lot of them would be quite like offensive terminology because it hasn't changed in 15-20 years, like basically since internet porn started and they started like free tube site started. Yeah. They've had these like these same categories and some of them are racially offensive. Some of them are offensive to queer people. Trans people like some of them would be like quite misogynist. So but unfortunately because these free tube site sort of have the the Monopoly at the very tippy top. They have no incentive to change its like if if just for example if we had like regulation on sex toys you would just have the Monopoly of like the big big businesses at the very top and a lot of the the smaller like Mom and Pop Shops and manufacturers who are making like interesting more bigger like varieties to accommodate like, you know queer people and like people with disabilities and that kind of thing you'd get the like the same five sex toys and at the moment with the way the porn industry is you're getting like because free tube sites everything's like free. So people like most people would watch would it If they're looking for pouring arm logging onto free tube sites, you're getting the same kinds of porn over and over and over again. It's just cookie cutter like the same scenes but just like slightly different lingerie. Yeah, so so yes, there's there's a huge huge problem there and it's what I try to tell people is like to view when you hear people say like well, I don't like porn because of X it usually what they're thinking is like I don't like the port of the free to Hmm, but there's so many more like great directors out there. Like Erica lost is one tired of our cologne. Yeah. She's probably the most famous. She's got a really good like communication strategy. She'd be at all like the major magazines, but then you have like other directors like shine Louise Houston who is doing like amazing like queer work you have like she's on Crash Pad series and and and pink and white do like really great like queer and LGBT stuff. I'd like you said if you're like looking for porn for your sex education may be watched like porn from queer directors because they like again like they show scenes where people are communicating how they feel and communicating like what turns them on and what they want out of a situation. It's not just penis and vagina or penis and mouth. So, yeah, I would like highly recommend you could go Feminist porn Awards. I think it's feminist porn Awards.com or just Google feminist porn Awards and just go through the list of directors there and you'll find some really really great stuff because I know myself I've been like on PornHub going through stuff and you like click on something that you think you might be interested in and then it just like turns out to be like so offensive and grotesque. Yeah, and then obviously that's a turtle turn off, but you also come away because like you said like vulnerable or for me anyway, like in that kind of situation you like feel like I don't know if I feel like I've liked contributed to that being made because I just like pressed on it. You know what I mean? And I like I was on the other day and you know the way there's like those pop-up vinyl banners at the top and it was like some really sick and it was like implying that like it was like foreign of children whatever but it wasn't, you know, it was like teen but like the person has like a like anyway, and then you know the way you you look on the search part and It's I mean, it's like I've never been this open, but I and then the first thing that's like popular searches right now. Is that what that is for? Yeah, and I just like it was like, okay. Well now I'm well, that's just another yeah, that's just another like advertisement as well. But like yeah it like How do I want to address this just in terms of like again, like the the free tube sites they don't as far as I'm aware, they do not content create. They are either working with Studios like paying them like they've really driven down the the value of the performers work and the people behind the camera as well because again, they're the very tippy top. They're like, they're the Lee and so they have the power to do that and so I really want to encourage people to like support independent directors and producers directly instead of going to free tube sites to to like financially support them the way that you would financially support your favorite podcast or financially support your favorite like webcomic. It's no different like from any other type of creative work and there's people out there that are making like I know some people I have a problem saying porn is Art but porn is fucking art. And we need to maybe just because you're watching the wrong point that you don't think learn is I don't mean like I've seen Eric lost. Like I've only seen like previews of her work. So yeah, I just like haven't been able to pay for it, but it's like stunningly beautiful and I actually think I watched a like a mini documentary about her like behind the scenes and it was like her really talking to the girl. and the even the like that sash was gorgeous unlike the girl was like really interesting looking and it's it is so but like I love like I love are colostrum doesn't credible work at her stuff is really great for people who have never watched porn before and are kind of put off by the idea of like what poor like the idea and that they have in their head of what porn looks like. I think Erica lust is a really great intro to that. I do have I want to say constructive criticism. Yeah of of her work just well. Mostly of like her communication strategy. Okay. It's really good. It's really effective. But she bad-mouths the mainstream porn industry quite a lot. Okay, which I find interesting because a lot of her performers, especially at the beginning when she first started doing X confessions came from the mainstream industry and some of her like performers who weren't in the mainstream industry went to the mainstream and okay, so sting so for her to say that all a porn in the mainstream industry is about like like face-fucking. Yeah, which I've like I've heard her say in interviews that it's like it's all about like face-fucking or I think like I think she might have said but like I don't want to quote her but like it's like she has just nothing good to say about the the mainstream industry and like again, like I have a lot of criticisms the mainstream industry as well. But that seems to be her main selling point is she's like we are not the porn industry. Yeah, we are. Something different and I think there are better ways to like set yourself apart then bad-mouthing the other industry, especially when you have people on your payroll who are from that industry and people who currently yeah The Who currently and like previously worked there. So I that's that's kind of my there's other people who have criticized her and I don't know if it's necessarily A criticism of her work or just this idea that like now she's really for want of a better word. I fucking hate this word disrupted the porn industry because she came from a film background. She studied film and video and so her stuff does look really cinematic and she has bigger budgets behind it. And it's kind of its own like machine. She has like tons of people who work for the studio and so her stuff like looks really cinematic, but there's a lot of people who will go after who Don't have that kind of budget who are making equally valuable stuff, but it just doesn't look like something that you would watch in a cinema. And so the criticism is that it's it's class this to say that Erica lost is the only person doing yeah feminist porn because she's not she's doing the stuff that probably looks the sleekest but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the only she's the only feminist porn director. So if you if a girl came to you and said look, I want to watch better porn like porn ready. Intimidates me on like pornhub or whatever. Yeah. Where what steps would you tell them to take Google feminist porn Awards and I'd go through the list of directors because you'll find like huge waves of like amazing directors like not just in the queer space. There's plenty of like heterosexual directors as well. Okay, and then as well, I really wanted to ask you this because because of I've come across so many girls that haven't had orgasms out which is like also I want people to know that that's like a very common thing. Yeah, and also orgasms aren't the be-all and end-all of sex like most important thing is that you're just like enjoying it. But if someone obviously really wants to have an orgasm. Yeah, and they haven't yet. What would you say to them? Keep going on it? I don't want to say like maybe you're unsure of your Anatomy, but it's very possible because I think like we don't arm young women with the vocabulary to describe their Anatomy. I was on a TV show a couple years ago where they had they brought in secondary school students and they showed a diagram of the of the female anatomy and said, okay, where's the labia? We're like What is the vulva? Whereas urethra? Where's your clitoris? Where's your vagina? And Of them got the answers, right but a lot of them didn't and so we're not like because the male anatomy is mostly external guys. Just know they're different bits and I feel like gotten for the most part guys. Like they're allowed natural part of culture to like for them to let you talk about us and talk about it. Yeah and for women, it's like you do not touch down there. You don't explore down there. You don't look down there and we really need. To like shake that off. So firstly I want to know does the does the person is the person aware of their own Anatomy? If not, they need to take a hand mirror and look down there and like touch the different bits. Mmm, give yourself a little Boop and like find out what feels good. Yeah, and then once you find out the bet that feels good keep touching that just keep going and you'll know when you're done Daddy. I like that's what I feel. Of the girls I've talked about this is like maybe I have I don't know. I don't like know if you're yeah, but but yeah, like it could be down to like shame as well not feeling comfortable in your own skin because again lack of sex education kind of induces a lot of like Shay like sexual shame and body shame. So I always try to recommend like maybe like Like doing some stuff to like help you relax. I don't want to be like everybody should have a bath but like everybody should have a bath go to wash get yourself a bath bomb. But like like do the things that you need to do to relax like, you know yourself, like what feels good and a relaxation sends and like give yourself time like schedule out time schedule yourself out an hour two hours that you're going to be home alone and and Yeah practice without a partner there that I think that's important. It's Sookie. I didn't have to know yourself. Yeah for you. Bring someone else not like you can obviously do whatever you want with another person. But if it's your own Journey on say like having an orgasm or yeah, you need to practice yourself will do. Yeah, and that doesn't mean like if you're in a relationship with someone dumped that person down masturbating like just just wait till like they're not there. Yeah and give yourself plenty of time and space. A stew like really ground yourself and and try to figure out like what feels good make sure you're in a warm room because there is nothing worse than having a wank and a cold cold cold heart. No, I heard the other day that when you're warm, it really makes a difference because then your blood can afford to go down there. Yes. Yeah. Yeah players like when you're called to Canton has to pump holder. And so yeah sure. You're warm. Make sure it make sure you're nice and warm. Make sure you have good lighting. Yeah, if you've just got The one like overhead bulb like that's not sexy. That's not cute like get yourself like a little like some tea lights or like a little table lamp for my care something like like set the mood be romantic with yourself. Yeah, and yeah, just just go for it. Another thing that I would say and this is just coming completely from personal experience. Is that like I think again from what you said which like movies and stuff is you think that you're going to have an orgasm like three minutes. Yeah, or even like 10 minutes. It's but for women first of all it you might need to like really heighten it for instance with like a vibrator something like that. Yeah, or you just might have to go for a little bit longer. Yeah, and if you were in like a straight like situation, it's not over when he comes. Yes. Oh my God, so important. Yes so important. Yeah if he Comes first you need to make sure he does not fall asleep. Yeah, I mean like I don't want to say like every single time but there's enough of an orgasm Gap like we talked about the orgasm Gap a lot. There's enough of an orgasm Gap where like we can say this kind of in general terms. Do not let him fall asleep. Yeah. He's not dumb. But yeah, yeah. Yeah, like like you said orgasm orgasms aren't the be-all and end-all. Well, yeah, but I don't I don't want to tell people that and then have them use that as an excuse to not to not want to bother their boyfriend or if you're a guy to I don't want you using that as an excuse not to go down on her not to like try your best at like please her. Yeah, and again like oh, so the other thing I have like a massive issue with is when straight guys go down on a girl and then they're like, have you not come yet or like Did you come that time or like Blake putting pressure on a girl to come or going down on a girl specifically for their pleasure? Yeah, like I have like huge issues with that like guys who were like, oh go down on you for as long as you want. I'll go down on you for like an hour and it's like yeah, that's lovely. But how about you go down on me? Like tell I tell you not to like yeah, I don't I enjoyed it. Yeah. About you this is about me. Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's almost it feels almost like fetishizing. Yeah, like going down on a girl and not necessarily for her pleasure. And yeah have issues with that. Yeah. It's it's such a Minefield talk about these things, but it shouldn't be it's like I have tried to make so many videos but like see I'm not an expert but like just even like people asking I'm like ask me anything. I will answer them like and we've asked a lot. The questions that people asked me today on my Instagram which I'm actually really thankful that people ask me because obviously I can see that name. I'm not going to like click on your profile or anything. But I'd like as you said before with the like the putting up her hand like it takes a lot for someone to put trust in you too. Yeah. I see those kind of questions and and I'm like a complete stranger. This is why I'm just saying anytime someone comes to me with like a like a sex question. I'm like, holy shit. You're asking me. I'm like, oh, yeah. No, I'm the sex shop person. I've been doing this for a while, but it just said like I still haven't gotten over it. I think I think it's fantastic and I'm and I'm like just so honored that people like want to come to me with their questions. Please should be so so proud of yourself like you really are amazing. And even this chat we've had today has been so beneficial to me. So I'm sure he'll be so beneficial to everyone else just before we finish and your top three top text so I won't give you a number just in case Really my side on that could be integral to someone special but top sex toys at the very minute at the very minute. Okay, thank you for saying that. It's too hard at the moment at the moment. Cause like it changes. Yeah, like a fluctuates like sometimes like something that was like a really big seller 2 years ago isn't so much anymore. But again like technology changes as well. But my my favorite like top seller that I have is the Fun Factory missed by okay. It's it's a rabbit style vibrator. But it's not like it's not massive. It's not it's kind of it's quite like the internal bit is quite shallow, but then the one rabbit is like lit but and inside and inside, yeah, so the the external like clitoral bit like it's got like a lovely like flexible head and again like this like nice soft matte silicone. Sorry, then then your internal bit is like curved but kind of like shallow. Something's you can get the internal clitoris as well. Okay, and it has these really lovely like deep penetrating vibrations that are just like Fab like Fun Factory there. They're German companies. You get like a really good German engineering they know how to make a good end. So there's that and then there's also the another big seller at the moment is the Jeju rabbit bullet now, it isn't a rabbit style vibrator. They call it a rabbit cause it's got the two little ears. Yeah. Those two little ears vibrate like if you wanted something. That was the Fun Factory Miss Bai is like a hundred and 15 Euro if you wanted something that's like half the price is 165. Okay. It's a recharge like USB rechargeable. All of our rechargeables are USB rechargeable and waterproof as well. This one is like small slim. You can throw it in your handbag. Like it's it's tiny like and it's and it's really really quiet as well. So So if you just wanted something that's just external stimulation and a rechargeable. I'd go with that one. That's the Jeju rabbit bullet and then if you're really super on a budget like if you're a super poor student and you just want like something cheap as chips, like if you're if you're not sure what you want. The tanker a row hominy is a really good one. It's only 27 Euros. It's just got one button one speed but it'll do the job. And it looks like you know the little EOS lip balms. Oh, no looks like one of them it's really cute. I know but you wouldn't know it was a vibrator unless like you knew okay? Okay. Well amazing. So thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Thanks so much for having this is so much fun. We should do something again and just to say thank you to my sponsor. Yeah, Andy pop download the app on iOS or Android download go to deep up.com to get started and thank you so much guys. Is and please like subscribe share whatever you can because it helps me. I knuckle like, okay, bye-bye.
In this episode of Molly's Minutes we talk to Shawna Scott, the woman behind sexsiopa.ie on pleasure, specifically female pleasure, the barriers to it and the tools to stimulate it. We talk about masturbation, orgasms, porn, sex toys and education. Shawna helps me to debunk some widely believed myths on female pleasure and the 'G Spot', as well as discussing the science and anatomy behind the clitoris (internally and externally). Shawna, like me, believes that sex education in Ireland fails so many of us on a number of issue such as being heteronormative and lacking explanation on female pleasure and how subjective it is. We discuss how penetration doesn't necessarily=sex and how to heighten your sex life ten fold. It is important to note that this podcast isn't just for women looking to understand their own bodies, but also for people who want to explore how to delight sexual partners and have a deeper understanding sexuality in general. It is so important to understand human sexual anatomy in the day and age of completely false narratives displayed in the media of what sex is and what it entails. This podcast is important to me and so many of the women I know who have put their sexual pleasure secondary to that of their partners for decades. For women who have thought there was something wrong with them for masturbating, or even for never having an orgasm. Listen for open, honest and raw conversation about toy usage, sexual stimulation, the orgasm gap and the monopoly of 'tube' sites in the porn industry. Thank you to Depop for Sponsoring this podcast! It means so much to me that they support these incredibly important conversations. My shop of the week is @skyknowles for handpicked second hand clothing. This shop rarely has anything that isn't in pristine condition and seems to have a never ending supply of floaty skirts and pretty summer dresses. 