Welcome to South love school. I'm so happy that you're here. My name is Cecilia, and I'm all about creating a community of self-love self-care and confidence today's guest is an incredible and inspiring individual. His name is Market Dempster. He's an addiction therapist and he's practicing Harley Street, and he's also personally recovering from addiction. He's also a best-selling author to nothing to declare which is available on Amazon. So, please Check it out. We will talk about addiction and recovery, and how do we know if we're addicted to something addiction can be just so many different things like alcohol drugs sugar shopping and even using our phones now, so we talked about so many different things. Please stay tuned to find out what causes addiction and how it can be healed. Thank you so much for listening. God bless you. Hi everyone. Welcome back to South love school. I am so grateful and thankful to have Market Dempster with us. It's so great to have you with us today. You said how you feeling today? I feel quite good year and rest even relaxed. You feel good. That's lovely. It's so lovely to have you here. So today I wanted to discuss a topic. That is so beneficial be beneficial to our listeners about Addiction. So what is the diction? Okay. So addiction I think addictions and illness as regards a mental health condition and a bit like or certainly it would be probably categorized now as like a personality disorder just like an eating disorder really Same Realms and of course, so what isn't it what is addiction so there's a variety of different things that people become addicted to is whether it's drugs and alcohol or gambling or sex or sugar or you know could be exercised. It could be healthy addictive processes like yeah and and you know, and they'll say it in addictions that are more socially acceptable with another so say for example worker Horsham that's when you looked upon and can be looked upon as the piercing been very successful already worked that Ivan contacts have but yeah, but don't serve and successful when they are there, you know their self-esteem and their sense of meaning and purpose in life is that I've completely from from their work and so therefore if they don't work they feel that's not vacuum and say Got sense of loss or or or maybe self-loathing or yeah, you know, it's sort sort but the components of addiction as if we're looking at it's an obsessive Behavior whatever, you know is there's a preoccupation with the behavior and it causes content the consequences are that causes harm to the person or to others. Yes, and and the idea is that you're able to recognize if you're in an addictive pattern of behavior. Hmm, so you know, yeah, so it's essential that we live in a society, you know, like we live in a society. No, we are people are very addicted to their phones or two. Oh my God, yes will net. You know, you just look as that we got on the tube like you go on the trip today or I go on the trip to the end. You see every lengthy 5% of people 1000. Yeah. I like Cottage will be on the phone. Yeah, and what they don't know as if they're on social media, they're getting the little sort of set at all and then they'll go / Manhattan every time they're looking at the phone. Yeah, and and that if this if they think they're going to lose the think they've lost the fall and they go into Panic often because they've got so much emotionally invested and oh my goodness. Yes. yeah, yeah and the connection that they make with people and so, you know, so there's a a real variety of different things that you know, younger people and older people became addicted to You know that, you know the became sort of emotionally dependent on yeah, you know that we can talk more as like yeah it like this. It's quite interesting, isn't it? Like, you know, we always made reference to addiction being We had especially with drugs that was like or or alcoholism with alcohol like the sort of down and out of this are they the sort of Street addict or there, you know and less sore. We you know and its really easily disguise because there's lots of people who come and see me in hardly see for example who have got addictions but their addictions there. Very successful people who you know that they're addicted to alcohol for example. Or they're you know and aim, but yeah overtly the look Fame but they are dependent on alcohol psychologically, but the very successful people so that the high functioning alcoholics. Yeah, and so to the outside Observer Today say The Observer. They look successful. Yeah, and they look, you know, they're doing really well with our chief execs of organizations or so, but yet. Their emotional landscape that are emotional relationships with family with the way for the children is as really disorganized or disrupted by their their addiction. Yeah. Definitely. I mean it affects so many other things that we don't realize we think is just that that we need to work on but he's actually worthiness and relationships. Yeah so much more that comes With that which may be unworthiness might be one of the causes to addiction or one of the reasons. We yeah become emotionally invested in something outside of ourselves. Yes, oh the unworthiness. So that's an interesting. So the unworldliness or the the shame maybe at the core or the fear anxiety. That don't know enough. Yes as a person. Yeah, they feel like to publish goes back to Dunbar Venus. Doesn't it? What we've got to get with addiction when were treating addiction we have to really look at addiction as in the actual chemicals or the behavioral pattern that somebody does, you know, externally, you know where that Gambling whether it's a expect that it's prune or graffiti. I mean Luke, we can even put an or graffiti. Yeah, as you know it which is really interesting as well with it. I think 60% of Google search out. She's a in this country are porn. It's it's something I mean, it's really high is really really high. Yeah. It's a lots of young people are addicted to pornography. Lots of older people not just younger people. But yeah, lots of people lots of men remember year at addicted to pornography and I remember years ago there in the BCP and them therapy today magazine the work they haunt the porn industry had like a mission statement to get more and more women are addicted to porn. So therefore it could justify or even see we want them to get them addicted but they want to say that we want them to get them to become users. pornography and therefore to because if you think of it and the family and the family unit if you've got the women in one room looking at pornography in the mines and the other room looking at porn pornography, it's this sort of breakdown of the release of an intimate relationship really existed a fantasy about other people all the time that you know, and so so young young man and especially are you know, And being means we can access and within 20 seconds or 30 seconds, we can access more pornographic images than era granth grandparents with the scene in their whole life. You know it like so and how does that rewire the brain when we're off for getting such stimuli that is highly arousing, you know, highly addictive and also creates so much of a dopamine flow to the brain, so Increase dopamine levels to the brain. So young people before they're even having sex with the with the ghetto or what the boy for that matter are. They are exposing yourself to this imagery that the becomes sort of normalized to it's so their imagery the problem with that is that you to get the same high from the nurses my it's really addictive as well. So it to get the same high you have to keep increasing the sort of taboo of it somehow that there's such I guess it's all sort of Shadow weigh in. She really but basically you saw saw if you think of you know, a young boy meets ghetto Meets Boy and then they find yourself in a room together, but the but the person's been looking at pornography like rape scenes and so gangbangs and really explicit. Yeah. So hardcore a majorly he can win the game. So all the boys starts to take their clothes off because the stimuli is not the same level of what he's been witnessing. He can't get sexually a row so he's saying because his brains been be wild. Yeah, and so there's lots of different I guess what I'm saying is that there's lots of different ways that people fix on things that are destructive for them. - yeah, but the knife system says, you know, so so the the outward symptoms as the poor on the outward symptoms the drugs or the alcohol or there or symptom is, you know, the actual behavioral Parts on that's a process addiction that are chemical addiction but underneath what we had what's at the core of that? Why is the Pearson medicating? Yeah, so then we go often back to those trauma. Yes. Been some type of trauma and the person's life are to create two for their brain to be wild than that particular way. So a lot a lot of Specialists say addiction specialist particularly see like a boar Marty for example, say would say, you know, let's not look at the out what let's look at the pain. What is the not Is the addiction what is the pain? Hmm? What is the trauma the game? What is the trauma? What's the pin and you know, let's let's look at that because if we don't deal with them or other pain all that's going to happen as they may stop that addictive process, but it will shift into another different type of addiction. Yeah, definitely transformed from one form to another. Yes and not really deal. With the actual core issue. Yeah. So what do you find with your clients? What do you find? The traumas are generally well often often. There's Ben. Some type of know it may not be sexual abuse. It may not be even physical abuse, but there's often with most of my clients. There's often been some type of neglect. Yeah abandonment. Yeah from Early Childhood does often. I mean, I see with lots of my male clients that is often an absent emotionally absent father. Yeah. And the boys are chasing after this Father Figure to you or looking for the looking for love and the drugs or the alcohol or and the prestige from the job or the cuter. You know, there's so many different manifestations of of addiction that someday can be You know like a lot of successful as I said before lots of successful people have got addictive personalities as well. In fact, it takes to some degree for people like musicians or artists or musicians are actors Comedians and stuff. They for them to become really successful at what they do. They have to repeat it over and over and over again. Yeah athletes, for example, they have to be obsessed. Aced with the Spore. I mean really obsessed with it to get to become so good at it. So they're involved in got an addictive personality. Yeah, but the addictions channeled in a very productive way for them, but when they stop that sold for whatever, you know, if that it's higher or they get an injury. Yeah, or the You know what, they start to use drugs and alcohol. Yeah some other form of addiction may be gambling like a lot of football players. Yeah, really? They can't maintain the sport really if the going to be excessive. Well, they can to some degree but not very well really every can't sharpen them. So so therefore a healthier form of addiction that often happens with football players as gambling the Become a nun because they've got a predisposing. They this is what we don't know also as that, is that a predisposing? Jean Genet? They say that the can be a genetic Factor coupled with then some environmental issues that happen. I am in The Glades I'm talking about archery or what abandonment or You know and then that creates the sort of perfect storm and early exposure to an addictive process which changes the brain wiring of the brain. Yeah. Wow, yeah, definitely. So all of these addictive behaviors have consequences. Yeah, for example, we mentioned relationships it have destructive, you know can be destructive to your relationships your finances to your career. What else can they do? What what else to your health? Of course to the health, right? Okay. So for this I mean, so I yeah, this is probably a good time to talk about my my addictions. Aye aye. My addictions I like so those I was addicted to drugs to I mean eventually heroin and cocaine crack cocaine or looks like cocaine and crack cocaine and alcohol was addicted to and from and I I think I became addicted to too. Two drugs from quite a young age really float and I mean maybe about 17 that I became psychologically addicted to cannabis to begin with 16. I think I became psychologically addicted later on to the classy drugs certainly got physically addicted to them by the age of 21 22 alcohol definitely addicted to that by 22 as well. Which wait one. And so the consequences to me where a number of different things physically, you know, my body was, you know being impaired by large amounts of data, but I was young at the time so soon the board is so resilient and the level so resilient so never really impacted me on and my 20s so much maybe by my late twenties, even though it's rotating copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. Alcohol every day, but my relationships definitely got and painted like the type of women that I was attracted to became much more of an addictive sort. So I became attracted to women who were also very addictive as well. So whereas at the beginning my initial girlfriends where people who were much more thoughtful and considerate and And and like there were sort of quaint night, you know, there were certain neighs middle class get all these English get all those are you know, not necessarily English girls could be Scottish goes I could be like from another countries real but there were bit. But by the time I was 20 because I was involved in creme they water seeks its own level. I was attracted to women and who were also living on the edge tape thing the repressed takers they were using drugs to say of the you know, and so so then packed one that is the impact on my life would have been that at narrowed down my opportunities for intimate relationships with people that were healthy because I pushed them because I because I wouldn't do it push them out of the way as regards like I wouldn't And then you know, I got exposed to Hepatitis C. So I got hepatitis C when I was in my 20s. I had exposure to HIV, but I never got HIV but I shared with one person who was HIV remember sharing with somebody who was HIV positive. So I was smuggling drugs. So I was smuggling from from one country to another I smuggling Into from out of Thailand and to Malaysia. I was smuggling back to England. I was carrying lots of drugs in my body, which I think if they'd exploded a Walt did started to seep I would have been dead immediately. Well, it was countries where it was a death penalty. If I'd been caught I could have got the death penalty. So so continually putting my life in danger. No, that's that's that's Of them packed for me and then packed obviously then that has along my family my mother my father then worrying about me, you know, my cousin's and such like worrying about me criminally getting caught up in putting present castrated financially losing, you know, like Puzzles involved in claim. I got money, but then it was all illegal so that kids You know that the money doesn't mean anything also, you know, I never had children back then which I'm really glad now that I didn't have children then yeah. Well, I do have children now, but who but they've never seen me because I've been cleaning because also which is important. I've been clean and sober now for 22 latest nearly this the same by the start December up with 23 years. Wonderful, so it's great. So it's sort of had a whole life of in fact, I've had longer and like by several years well by seven years now that the time that I spent using drugs. No alcohol the amount of time that I've got. No clean and sober as lot longer by seven years than they did using drugs. No alcohol. Hmm, you know lat it's or 23 and I was using drugs and alcohol for 16 years addictively. Lee So it's just got you know, there's so many consequences that but people die. Continually, you know, we see over the celebrities at die because they're in the public domain but there's so many people. Yeah, but died that we never hear about. Yeah, definitely on a daily basis. In fact as real certain have an essence of you. There will be a some place in the world right now. There was some day there were several people. Yeah buying everything action right now or die. That are going to die as real speaking Yeah from addiction. Yeah, of course and I'm really hoping that people that can hear your story and they can be inspired and they can do you know, it's it's possible to change and it's possible to heal from this which comes to my next question. How do we heal from this and also if we have loved ones who are addicted to something. How do we deal with that? Because I have so many Many people that you know have family brothers and sisters who are addicted to certain things and substances and they don't know how to deal with it. Yeah. I think it's so difficult for the family members to because you can you can lead a horse to water but you know, it's nothing you can't make them drink is like so to some degree a person has got to get to their that their own realization. Whoever has the you know, what Sam and women just to they've got to get to their sort of rock bottom or are Rock Bottom for them to like say to the self. Okay don't want to do it anymore. But you know, we can you know, the family members can give them as much support and education and tell them about you know, I give them guidance. But unless they want to set forth on that path. There's not much there. Not much we can do but however what what also family members can do which is important for them as they be they have to get their own support. Yeah. No one helped to deal with the family member and those really good 12-step. Yeah group so they are like Island on families and on the mess that pervade that's free is confidential. Yeah support for the family members. But also what's important as for family members as that, they don't colludes with their illness that they don't collude with the addiction of the family member as and they don't keep giving them money, you know to feed their habit. They're doing yeah, they don't keep an abling them to cardio on the behavior know this is really difficult because you know, like a mother who's got a son who wants a drugs. Hope you're like screaming or threatening or almost certainly trying to manipulate every you know to get money for the drugs. Yeah, often the drug addicts and alcoholics horror the people that are closest to them. Yeah, cause they can't because they can because they can steal from the mother only know with it, you know other father or of Steel from the family members and then So that they won't get in present. They met the likelihood is the not getting present because the family member won't take, you know, criminal action against the Sun so so I would say for family members. You know what this whole enabling and colluding with them does the has to be a type of hard love? Yeah, which is I think is very difficult. I mean like I'm speaking all soars up here in here, you know. Yeah, you know, you see your daughter your son who's an addiction and they keep one stealing from you and you're letting them stay in your house and they keep stealing your money at what? T ask them to leave and you know what, you know that they're going out on the street, you know that they're more vulnerable out there then they'll go home. But but at the same time if you allow it to keep on happening, you're you're you know, you're not helping them at all. You're not helping them to so it's that it's that you know, how do you be of support but also practice tough love? Yes in time. That's the the challenge it really is a challenge for For everybody involved. Yeah, but we know also that when Sundays and their addiction it's not the same person as you, you know, it's like when you're in the addiction, it's like it's like having a twin that resides and say to a distance of 20 dark $20 Shadow Self. Yeah who's which is really active and that Shadow Self is incredibly selfish. Self-centered to the core. Yeah, there's a lot is often a liar. The soreness manipulate highly manipulative. Yeah, and it's a part of the personality is really dark. Yeah, so so you've got basically this You know, you've got see a sign that a daughter but they're they're they're thinking their behavior and their emotions as like someone completely different to what you recognize is your son or daughter. Yeah, and and the it's like they're possessed. It's like they are they're taken over by something else. Yeah - but that's past now it is older, you know, really? Yeah. And and it's and their own the got cognitive impairment. They can't think the amount of things. You know, I've seen horrendous things where I've seen in my life. I had a friend once we were in rehab and we both got kicked out of this rehab because we drank water in the rehab we got caught and they got breathalyzed and we both get asked to leave and this was an 8 1989. Back in 1989. If you had a a few were HIV positive if you had the virus and you were a heroin addict, if you would intravenous heroin addict you could get from some hospitals like st. Thomas's you could get diamorphine like your heroine because you were hiv-positive and because you are not already a drug addict anyway, so when we got kicked out this rehab I mean as friends his name is Kevin. On the way down the road down the hill with us was in Canberra. Where when Denmark hell we were walking down the road. He said to me he says, you know Mark I and also back then remember of you know, it's good to know about this as well as that back then if you were HIV positive you could get a lot of care alone's bachir allowances. You could get dla disability 11 the loans. You could get like a car. I can't budget for a car or you could get some day that we drive your own so they got money Akira type budget. So anyway, it amounted to quite a bit of money a bit amounted to maybe 300 or 350 pounds per week. Which back then would be equivalent to maybe 700 now and you know, so so as I was walking down the hill with this Kevin said to me, you know, I'm sick of this try to get clean. I'm just going to go and get some blood from from Angie. There's go Angie and Brixton who is hiv-positive. I'm going to go get her blood with injector and to myself and then I'll get it then. I'll get this heroin from some Thomas's hospital and I will get the disability 11 their loans and that's what you're done. He went off and got the blood injected at know. That sounds absolutely And seeing but then if we think about I mean, you know, people are out there every night does ghettos prostituting? Yeah, as we are sent here now, there's ghettos and London. Yeah those they'll be hundreds of ghettos really that are prostituting the cell rate at this moment for drugs. Hmm and the asleep my man or our Command sleep with women prostitutes us, you know, equally could be the same way but more often not the other way around but yeah that they are. The mising their you know, their welfare practica get you know, seriously heart they do get up you're getting abused and every whatever way you look at it again abused and just to get the drugs and this guy cave and that's what he's done. He took that thing made got the bloody injected it you got HIV but he had no immune system. He had very poor immune system because he didn't have the virus until that woman and he got the virus. All words all of the women the so that the virus was so when I was injected and his body it was on the viral load that she had which was massive and campanas and he has immune system and within sixty seven months. He was dead, you know, so it got you know, and that Maya tell that story is that is that as addicts that mean that were talking about, you know, extremes here of addiction, but but, you know, we don't really have to Look too far and we can see extremes of addiction. Yeah, you know and probably in the news continually of deaths and people yeah every day. Hmm. And so, how can we change it? Yeah. So yeah who to be recover? They saw we saw saw those different types of you know those different Things we have to do to recover right and a big part your, you know, like your your podcasts and suchlike in the work that you're doing at and self-love is really really important because you know, we've got to you know, when we look at the root cause of things we see that those really low self-esteem. Yeah, you know those tremendous amount of Shame. Yeah. They have the I mean, even if they weren't shame-based people to get your shame-based children or teenagers. Even if they did not have shame at the core when when they were a young younger child or adolescent they certainly pick up a lot of Shame from the behavior that they have to do and their addiction because they have to they have to be you know, manipulative and dishonest all the time which really affects the character like me and your integrity your moral compass. Yeah, so you've got you've got like behalf. To we have to let them see that they are not they are not responsible for the behavior that happened in the past when they were in the act of addiction because they were controlled by this this this addictive process. They had you know that they were powerless over their addiction there, but they certainly are responsible for what they do about it now the responsible They have recovery. Yeah, so does the physical recovery site where they physically stop doing whatever behavior is whatever drugs alcohol sex gambling. They stop, you know, they have complete abstinence from whatever and if you had and this is important as if you've got an addictive personality, you can more dirty that you can't moderate alcohol or drugs. Yeah. Yeah, there's no moderation. We can teach them to Mordor. Yeah, you know as much as people would have you believe here heartlessly is where with us like lots of therapist that or we can we can get it to moderate. No that's vain more relations Fain for people that have not overstate that we've not cross that line into addiction people that have just got the drank every back to a March or they don't the people that don't have their underlying symptoms of addiction. Either hypersensitivity the really create the very critical when I say of the fuel vacuum and say that if you were real like who you know where they the looking for this external thing to fix them fulfillment. Yeah, you talked about it as gotta like you bet it like many years ago when Alcoholics Anonymous was starting the Ewing was talking about the all addictions as that a spawns to a spiritual malady. They alcoholic the addict is looking for God but the looking for it and the alcohol or the drug or some behavioral Parts on their own plate of cheese and they're chasing either looking and and the Darkness for the light. Yeah, it's not there. So so does the physical recovery so we have to get them to stop completely. Yeah, and then there's emotional recovery and does mental recovery, you know and the spiritual recovery as well. yeah, if the you know, you know F so much about it's about really I'm not talking necessarily about an existential higher power or Gods but certainly like their own sense of spirituality and say their own sort of moral called a compass or living by principles that are aligned with their value system that though it's very difficult when they first get sober and clean because the value systems often been compromised so much. They don't know what they really what the value system is. So we have to help them and still were healthy value system. What is a healthy moral compass for individuals? You know that we don't steal for people with the one we don't commit, you know, we don't and commit mortal. We don't commit. We don't hurt people with your you know, like all those types of sort of spiritual principles, but then we've got Most you know bear in mind if people are using drugs are any type of addiction from a young age. They have no emotionally developed of God devolved in got very little or very stagnated emotional intelligence. So if they've started like for example, I started when I was 15, so when I got clean I was 32, but I think emotionally I was still with the age of a 15 At all, so because everything that I experienced in my life, I just use drugs now called to medicate the feeling so I didn't actually deal with the feelings of things. Yeah, because I was continually stormed and drinking. Yeah, so deaths breakups and relationships the normal things that people feel as he progressed through life. They create emotional muscle and Brazilians. I never got any of that because because there Self-medicate no time. Yeah, so so I've got it help the individual emotionally develop. Yeah, you know and it's a journey it's not like it doesn't happen overnight and intellectually mentally we have to get them, you know, it's really good that they're getting enough sleep and you know, obviously diet and sleep know that sorbet to the important exercise fatal important. Yeah for them for the for the physical recovery. But that has an impact on the mental recovery as well like for three days ago for doing meditation that really helps mentally deal with a main that can be really impulsive and obsessive. Yeah, and and also, how do we attain goals? And how do we move forward to achieve stuff that will make us feel better about yourself? So the self-esteem. Yes, really really important. There's self-love and yeah, but hey we put and Different software to war you know, because if you think it mentally and people would have been over for years and years that they would have been reinforcing negative messages about yourself. Yeah. I'm not good enough from to farm two lists an ugly. I'm you know, whatever. It might be. Nobody likes me. I'm unlovable. You know, I'm ugly. Yeah, so we have to change or that I start to begin to change that and start to do like and tell no one. Affirmations can I'm a lately program the Mind reprogram the manger. Yeah completely. Yeah. You do you witness this with your client? Yes, of course. Yeah, I mean definitely my clients is a lot of self-esteem issues and not loving yourself and that's why I created self-love school because I really want to awaken that ability for us to love ourselves and loving yourself means so much more than the, you know, kind of The Superficial part of it and to just really deeply heal the wounds that we have from childhood and then start surrendering and trusting ourselves more and loving yourself and accepting of validating yourself and all of that stuff and then you know, this really guides you to a higher power to source to God and you know, you start kind of serving from that place and you become more kind loving compassionate and understanding and just life becomes easier and smoother and it just flows Those and yeah, definitely and it's a journey. It's a journey of self love and it's a beautiful Journey not easy, but it's beautiful. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, definitely. Thank you so much for everything for all right stories and one more thing before. Yeah, we finished you talked about the phones and addiction to phones now, you know, this is kind of the recent thing that I mean so many people especially young people. People and that's going to affect their minds and their emotions so much. So before it gets to an addictive State. What can we do? What can we do we can prevent that? Yeah, we can now have I mean, I think a lot of the time, you know around even just the discipline that I'm not looking at her phone. All the time is really important and also having having sort of a detour socks from Tamar Tamar, we don't look you know, like but only allow allowing ourselves to look at our 4 in for x amount of time pad there or for the young people, you know, like so and especially parents when they're very aware of the check the trails where that's not it may not be for it may just be on iPads or do you know like yeah on on you know on whatever device is is that those that that's being observed by the parents as well and that there are low It's a certain amount of time on it. And then if you if you witness that they'll you know, there's a lot of disorders Behavior or you know that trying to you know, you would have to be quite disciplined with the child. Yeah. Well, I think it's I think we've got I mean they're our society. I think we've became very dependent on yeah on these devices and I just think you know You know, I know and I've obviously, you know, it's like, you know, we have to make we use the phone for a variety of different things for social engagement, but for works, you know for clients, it works as particular related issues, but but it's I think for us it's important to see okay. Well, you know, how do I use my phone? And how can I minimize? And there my eyes they maintained Spain just because often what I find myself doing which I don't need to do is just then looking at my phone and there's nothing actually happening. There's no message on there. There's no thing, but then I'm going to start going and looking for something. Yeah, you know and obviously that's like that's how about you. I've got a habit. Yeah, and I need to break that. Yeah and just saw just give him myself, you know, so I think it's important to yeah two for four people. I mean with all this it's about awareness to begin with is that having a wheel - and of of am I addicted to my phone, you know, I would say I think you're probably always a teacher for some degree, right? Yeah. So and then okay. So what how do I how is that addiction? But what am I as a result of me being addicted to my phone? What consequences does that have to my life my then not doing X y&z because I'm on my phone more or what? Could I what would I be doing? Yeah, if I wasn't on the phone and how it is it so how what's the impact and then it's about then making a decision. Yeah see to meet the phone work for me. Rather. Other than me being related to the Ford factory are definitely very true. Okay, it's so wonderful. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful. No, it's a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you for the bouquet as well. Yeah. Thank you. You're welcome. And one last message to our listeners someone that you know finds themselves being addicted to something to food to sugar to shopping to found the alcohol anything and also for people who are struggling with And that they have someone in their family who is struggling with addiction. Yeah. What may do what that message? Yeah. Well, I think it's always good to read. I mean as you know, I've wrote A Few books, I've read a few books as well and I am yeah, I think it's good to for their family members to get awareness and understanding so to redock maybe we better be addiction and what it what it's about, you know, if they don't have personal experience for so that they become more familiar with With it. Yeah, I think also really important to know that there's so many different self-help groups out there for everything. You know, whether it's cocaine, you know of Cocaine Anonymous does Alcoholics Anonymous there's so many different fellowships that 12-step groups that people can go to to get help. Yeah, you know, whether it be around six whether it be cool dependence whether it be gambling, you know, the self-help groups were all of Was yeah and all those areas lots of professionals as well to go and get professional help. Yeah, and you know and also, you know and you know, if you've not got money if you've not got for Nancy's that the local authorities and each bar on each area around the UK. There's drug teams those alcohol teams. Yeah, those like those clinics were gambling but there's only one really in London But but so there's so there's lots of resources out there that if you go onto the internet you can get free as well resources. Yeah, and you know, so it's important that you know that does that help available for you? Yeah, definitely. So learn more about it and seek support. Yes. That's how yeah, definitely. Thank you so much Malaysia Angela. Thank you everyone for listening and have a lovely day. Take care. Bye. Bye. Cool. So will you put online and then?
Mark Dempster is an addiction therapist at Harley Street, London and has been personally recovering from addiction himself. I am so grateful and exited to welcome you to this episode of Self Love School podcast, Mark has helped thousands of people including many celebrities and well knows people heal their addictions and live a healthy, fulfilling  and meaningful lives. He is also a best selling author to " Nothing to Declare: Confessions of an Unsuccessful Drug Smuggler, Dealer and Addict" and "The Ongoing Path: A Guide to Stopping Addictive Behaviour and Fulfilling Ambition", which are both available on Amazon.co.uk. We discuss what exactly Addiction is and where it comes from. Why do we find ourselves addicted to certain things and what are the core issues related to addiction. How do we know we are addicted? Addiction can be to so many different things: Alcohol, Drugs, Caffeine, Gambling, Food, Sugar, Work, Shopping, Attention, Other People, Use of our Phone etc. If addiction is not dealt with on a deep level, it tends to transform from one form to another. Make sure you listen all the way through to find out the answer to all these questions. Thank you for being with us and I hope you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to share and leave a feedback if you enjoyed listening to this episode. God bless you! 