I'm Alec lace. Welcome to First Class fatherhood. Welcome everybody to be sold to 35 in the podcast. I am happy as always to be here with you. Thank you for stopping by if this is your first time listening to the podcast. Please get over there and bang that subscribe button. You do not want to miss all the action that is coming your way right here on First Class fatherhood. All right dad's it's time for our first Frogman Friday episode of the new season here, and I have a phenomenal guest to bring you guys today retired Navy SEAL Master Chief Jason Gardner. Change me and he spent nearly three decades in the SEAL Teams including eight deployments. He is currently working alongside Jackal willing and lafe Babin with Echelon front as a leadership instructor. I can't tell you what an honor it is for me to have Jason Gardner with me today. He'll be here in just a few minutes. So please stick around for the interview next week. I got five episodes coming at you in each one is a banger UFC Hall of Famer Tito Ortiz will be here with me and we're going to go from the cage to the ring former middleweight. Boxing champion Kelly Pavlik will also be joining me later in the week. Plus I have an amazing guest for 9/11 another Frogman Friday and a very motivational dad with an incredible story to kick off the week on Monday. Be sure you're following me over on Instagram at Alec on the school lace to find out just who I'm talking about. And if you guys are enjoying the podcast, please do me a favor and hit me with a rating or review over on iTunes. It would really go a long way to help me out. I'm working hard to bring you guys the best guests and the most valuable content as I possibly can I can't say Thank you enough for all of your support. I also wanted to mention that I was recently a guest on Ryan McClure's podcast order of man. It was an honor to be on his show. I was fortunate enough to have Ryan on First Class fatherhood last year. So we get into a pretty good on his show if you're interested go check out the order of man podcast and don't forget to visit manscape.com and use my promo code father to save 20% off their products and get free shipping. They sent me their top-of-the-line electric trimmer and I will be posting more about that on social media to tell you more about how awesome it is. So let's go dad's. I am pumped up for today's episode. I am blessed to have a true American hero with me today. So, please let every father in your neighborhood or in your contact. List know about the show that celebrates fatherhood and family life fatherhood rocks Family Values Rule and every day is Father's Day right here with me and I will be right back with Navy SEAL Jason Gardner. I'm Ali lace and you're listening to First Class fatherhood. 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He is the recipient of the Silver Star two bronze Stars a purple heart and many other Awards. It is a huge honor for me to say Jason Gardner. Welcome to First Class fatherhood. Hey, thanks for having me. Alec are let's start here. How many kids do you have? And how old are they? I've got three kids. My oldest son is 23 years old and then I and he's from Previous marriage and then I've got an eight year old daughter and a seven-year-old son. Wow, okay, very cool. What type of us sports activities you got them into so all this boy played a lot of basketball and then we're really big into the outdoor. So horseback riding hunting and fishing and then my my daughter and my son's dormant or just kind of coming up into all that playing some basketball a little bit at school. And then, you know, we're getting them in anything that they're interested to do more kind of limited in the scope of SportsCenter available because we live in a real world area, but we definitely do horseback riding and camping fishing and then they they come along hunting they're going to start hunting next year. Wow. Yeah, that's very cool. All right, Jason here. Please take a minute just to hit my listeners with a little bit about your background and what you do? I am a retired seal master teeth. I did 30 years in the SEAL Teams. I've got nine deployments five of which were combat deployment spanning everything from the first Gulf War all the way up to Iraq take three basically from my career when I was there in 2016 and 17 for clearing a mosul from I solar - you know getting the Islamic State out of there and now I work for Echelon front Jocko and lafe wrote those books extreme ownership and dichotomy leadership and I go around speaking as a leadership Consultants to different organizations right now. And so that's what I'm doing since I've retired from the military. Yeah. Wow, what an incredible career you've had and thank you for your service. Of course. And how old were you when you first became a father Jason it had to becoming a dad kind of change your perspective on life. My son was like I was 25 when my son was born and you know when it changed your perspective because now you're just it's not just you right you're responsible for somebody else and that that's a huge responsibility as anybody as a father knows but it also comes with A huge amount of reward because I get to experience things vicariously through them. So, you know their first time doing anything is so exciting whereas doing, whatever it could be whether it's a, you know, reading a book or or their first time, you know going to an amusement park or anything which is just kind of gotten boring and old is I find that that I get to relive The Experience through their eyes, and it's That aspect of it is super rewarding and very well said and I've heard you on jacko's podcast are reading the you have the open letter to your door or which I thought was cool and Powerful at the same time there. What was the Genesis of you writing the letter and if you could share it with us? Okay. So basically I've been thinking for a lot. I've been thinking for a while about what my general philosophy was on raising my daughter as opposed to raising my son. and really I think we've kind of missed the mark sometimes in in general with how we raise little girls and you want to raise any kit and so the bottom line is I've come to the conclusion that there really shouldn't be much difference in how you raised your daughter and how you raise your your son's that your the end state is I want to raise a competent adult right and I want a raise. Competent adult that is not feeling a lot of Shame is happy and fulfilled, you know when I can go out there and function on their own and so in order to do that. There's a lot of things that that I need to step back from as a parent and let them fight those battles on their own and so here's here's what I came up with in. Basically. I've been thinking about it for a while and then in the parking lot of Costco. I'm like, hey, you know what? I want afternoon and I wrote it all down and here's what it is. But a promise to my daughter I will love you unconditionally always No matter what. I will not pamper you this will Forge a resilience that will help you conquer all of life's obstacles. I do not intend to raise a princess, but rather a warrior with fire in her heart and ice in her veins in my mind, there is nothing you can't do no job or goal beyond your reach. I will challenge you so that when you stand it so that you can stand confidently on your own two feet independent and strong. I will set the example on how to treat those you love so that when you choose a partner it will be someone who lifts you up and I will invest my time and energy in you so that when I am gone enough memories of me will be with you in your heart to keep forever Stand Tall with your shoulders back. This world is yours for the taking. I have a heart at the end and yeah, but go ahead. Yeah, I was gonna say I can't tell you how awesome that is for me. To here. I have four children myself. I had three boys and then got my girl on the fourth try and it has been just this the emotional part of the of the switch that has occurred here has been you know a little bit challenging for me to catch up with and and and we definitely need more philosophies like yours here on raising our daughters and I think that's very beneficial to everybody that gets a chance to hear it. Yeah, I mean so so what I was really what I'm hoping to do is Hey, I want to set a good example for her so that when she goes and has her own relationships, they'll be positive relationships and she's not going to tolerate anybody, you know, treating her with disrespecting or incorrectly or in a humble manner because that's the example that she's seen me lay out between me and my wife this at its core. This is about decentralized command where I'm getting. You know, I'm right. I'm stealing one of life and jacko's while the combat but I want her to make squared away decisions when I'm not around. I want her to be able to take care of herself. I want her to be able to change a tire. I want her to be able to change the oil if that's what she wants to do. And I don't want her to have to be dependent on anyone else and then that will set her up for success to be in in the best relationships or whatever. She wants to do moving forward as an Adult yeah, very well said and I and you speak about changing your time. I actually gave a class at the local library here for the teenagers that were getting their licenses on how to change because it's amazing to me how many of the young teenagers that are getting their license have no idea how to do basic car maintenance. So it's just little things like that and I think I speak about it quite a bit on the podcast. We have such a father list crisis in our country right now, and we see the devastating results in our society from children that are growing up with no father influence in their life. Right and and so to all those single mothers out there because guys aren't taking their responsibilities and stepping up and helping them out. Out you you can fill this role. Do you should learn how to change a tire and fill in that Gap because it can be done. It needs to be done because like you said the two parent household is becoming the exception and not the norm or we're trending in that direction and and raising kids is hard. It takes two people. Yeah, I couldn't agree more and I know that you helped so many people now you with the echelon front you helped. So many people in the business world to become leaders. Is it challenging for you to kind of differentiate a teaching leadership to civilians as opposed to it was the sailors and then completely switching that to Leading your kids. All right dad's the NFL season is now upon us and the Major League Baseball season is winding down there is no better time to take your kids to the Ball Game and first class fatherhood listeners can save Is off their tickets on seat geek.com by using my promo code first class. That's one word first class. Maybe you want to see a concert or a Broadway show save 20 bucks on the tickets on seek.com use the promo code first class. It's a slam-dunk field dad's seat. Geek.com promo code first class fatherhood is the best seat in the house. All right, guys, many of you have hit me up saying that you would like to start your own podcast and I am telling you right now anchor is the easiest way to get this done. Number one. It's free. I have never paid a dime to publish any of my podcasts and their creation tools allow you to record and edit right from your phone or your computer anchored those all the distribution as well. So it can be heard on Spotify Apple podcast and many more also you can make money with no minimum. Listen to Ship its Thing you need to make a podcast in one place. What are you waiting for download the free anchor app today or go to Anchor dot f m-- to get started. Yeah, I couldn't agree more and I know that you helped so many people now you're with the echelon front you helped. So many people in the business world to become leaders. Is it challenging for you to kind of differentiate a teaching leadership to civilians as opposed to it was the sailors and then completely switching that to Leading your kids. No, it's all the same thing. I recognize that parenting is just leadership and that actually helped me as a parent and then helped me when I was in the executive levels of leadership as a seal. You know, when I was a command master chief of Seal Team 5 or a command master chief of our training Detachment and I had this Epiphany and it was about seven years ago, and I'm like, this is I'm parenting and people are looking For me to some Mentor them really planting is nothing more than mentorship. So it's all the same. It's super rewarding to be out now talking in the civilian sector because usually when someone comes and asks me to speak they're really fired up about the message. Whereas when I was in the military, you know people weren't asking they just had to be in the class, you know, so there's a buy-in that's really exciting. And there's an aspect of American culture that I get to see that I think we're by the people I meet every day. I think we're doing just fine as a country that there's just so many good people out there that are working so hard and they have the right ideas and ideals that it's it's I I'm super appreciative of job I have and it's a lot of fun to do it. Yeah, and because of guys like you and a lot of the veterans that have become involved in this I'm very optimistic for our country here and the direction is going unfortunately. It doesn't seem to get a lot of the play and the air time on social media just because it doesn't it's not really quick bait when something good is happening. So that's another reason of me putting out the message of just celebrating fatherhood and family life and trying to give people the idea that it's something to a you know Embrace and not something to avoid your oh, you're absolutely right and this is why I quit lat In the news because fundamentally the the media gets ratings by putting out stuff that is inflammatory because we're hardwired genetically, bye-bye. To look at something. That's a threat. So when they say oh this this is going on or this crisis is going on then that's clickbait. You look at it. It gets them ratings then all they're doing is jamming you full of barium information and I just ignored it. I don't care anymore. Yeah, and I'm paying attention to what I see with my two eyes out there. Yeah. I got a chance to see it firsthand. I just recently I had a press pass from the White House for a full week. And I spent it with all the big media people. I was just it was really eye-opening to see behind the scenes. Is what takes place there, so and I never had any social. I never had any social media accounts before I started the podcast and it's just it's just vicious. It's just vicious to be honest with you. Yeah, it's one of those things that you just have to ignore it and move forward in a positive manner and that takes a lot of practice to be able to detach from that stuff. But I am optimistic for the direction our country is going I'm optimistic for our youth because the young men and women that I've I've seen serving overseas In Harm's Way with lousy pay under terrible conditions. Just working hard without complaining then I think we're good to go and it but I'll preface that with there's always room for improvement, right? We can always do better, but I think the direction that we're moving. I think we're good and it's not, you know, you have a podcast that talks about parenting. And there are several others like them and the ratings are great. And just the fact that there's not hunger for it out. There is a positive sign. Yeah, well said a hundred percent and all right. I know that 30 years is a Navy SEAL. I would only imagine that you're a very well disciplined individual. But how are you when it comes to being a disciplinarian as a father? He was factored time out guy. How do you kind of handle discipline? So not I'm not really a spanker I searched around for what? Is I think the most effective thing for the kids so for my daughter the timeout seems to work the best for my son a lecture seems to work and then I just kind of tailor it for what seems to be the to work and then consistency is is the key and I try to be consistent. I'm not consistent all the time, but that's that's basically what I'm shooting for because I know that they're almost testing their boundaries and if I The boundaries in the same place then they kind of understand them better and they don't they're not going to push against them as much so that the other thing I've been doing lately is trying not to yell at them because I don't want them to think that you know, hey screaming and yelling as a good option. So sometimes it's just necessary right? Sometimes we may get on the car and they run into traffic you got to yell at them or sometimes when you got to yell at them like case put your brother. Other down or put down the cap, but there's a lot of times when I'll holler at him and it's not necessary for me to holler at them. And I find that if I speak to him in this manner and I say something to him like, okay. Listen, what you're doing right now is not good and it is not going to result in anything that you're going to like and I'm not going to tolerate so I need you to tighten this up, you know? Yeah, definitely. It's definitely been an on-the-job training for me my older 13 and it's taken quite a while to kind of adapt and change my own philosophy of parenting and then separate all four of my kids respond differently to different styles of discipline. There's one kid at you should never do it. Again. There's another can you can spank them all day long and they going to stop them so they all day old respond if yeah. Yeah, and it's like that with leadership every individual requires a different style of leadership. And and so you just got to kind of search around and find out what's effective. All right. Well, what do you got coming up here? What type of goals and plans do you have for the future you're going to be involved with Jocko and lay for the next book that they're writing or what what kind of goals you got going on? I don't have any involvement in any books right now. My wife is getting ready to write or she has a book that's in the editing process. And basically I'm just doing the leadership Consulting thing and Doing some podcast appearances and just talking about some of these things that I think are important and they seem to be resonating with a lot of people so that's a great thing. Yeah, very cool. I one more thing. I'm going to hit you with your Jason. I love to ask all the dads that I get on the podcast. What type of advice do you have for that new dad or for that about the default who's out there listening? Get advice from other dads. So you're going into Uncharted Territory and you're going to need to talk to some other dads and figure out what's going on. And then you're you're also going to have to learn how to work together with Mom so that you guys are coming from this leadership portion on a United front and some hills aren't worth dying on. So if you have two big disagreement with Mom, it's better that you guys are in alignment and How you discipline and raise the kids then if you're doing different things and so check your ego open up those lines of communication and congratulations. There is no bigger gift that you can have than being a father. Yeah, very well said I love the message has been an honor for me. I got to say Jason Gardner, you're a first-class father and thank you so much for give me a few minutes of your time on First Class fatherhood. It was a real privilege for you to have me on thank God. Back to wrap things up here on First Class fatherhood. I got to give a special. Thank you. Once again to Jason Gardener for giving me a few minutes of his time here. That was such an honor. Please hit me up on Twitter guys or drop me that DM over on Instagram. Let me know what you thought about today's episode. I always love to read your feedback and that's it. That's going to do it for our first week back here on First Class fatherhood. I want to say thank you to all of you guys out there who have been listening a special. Thank you to all the guests this week including Sean Parnell Titus O'Neil. And over and of course today Jason Gardner next week got five bangers comin at you. Make sure you follow me over on Instagram at Alec on the score lace or at first glance fatherhood the check out all the upcoming guest announcements. Hope you guys enjoy your weekend. That's all I got for you guys this week. I'm Alec lace. You have been listening to First Class fatherhood. And please remember guys, we are not babysitters. We are fathers and we're not just father's we are first-class fathers.
Episode 235 Jason Gardner is a First Class Father and Retired Navy SEAL Command Master Chief. He is a combat veteran with almost three decades of service with the Navy SEALs. Jason has many awards including the Silver Star, two Bronze Stars, and a Purple Heart To name a few. He currently works along side Jocko Willink and Leif Babin as a leadership instructor for Echelon Front. In this episode, Jason reads an open letter to his daughter and discusses his parenting philosophy with regards to raising both girls and boys. He talks about leadership as a parent, the media’s influence on kids, how his disciplines his children and much more. First Class Fatherhood is sponsored by:  MANSCAPED Save 20% + Free Shipping   Visit - https://www.manscaped.com Promo Code - Father   SeatGeek SAVE $20 OFF Tickets by Visiting seatgeek.com Use Promo Code: FIRSTCLASS  First Class Fatherhood Merch - https://shop.spreadshirt.com/first-class-fatherhood-/we+are+not+babysitters-A5d09ea872051763ad613ec8e?productType=812&sellable=3017x1aBoNI8jJe83pw5-812-7&appearance=1  Visit my instagram - https://instagram.com/alec_lace?igshid=ebfecg0yvbap  For information about becoming a Sponsor of First Class Fatherhood please hit me with an email: FirstClassFatherhood@gmail.com    ---   This episode is sponsored by  · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. 