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 [My dad has been a role model for me my whole life. In both good times and bad, he’s always been there for his family. As far back as I can remember, he’s tried to stay positive about most everything. Although he’d break composure sometimes, he is mostly good about it. One thing to note before moving on is, he was in the U.S. Army for 21 years, which drastically affected how he acts. Luckily, it was mostly for the better, as he has a strong sense of family, and a stronger sense of humor. He is not a very social person, but the people he does get along with, he treats well.
 My dad was born on June 2nd, 1967 to a large family that consisted of his mother, his father, and his 8 siblings. My dad was the youngest of the bunch, which meant he got picked on by most of his siblings. But the worst of it came from his dad. My dad hasn’t told me very much about my grandpa, but from what I’ve heard, he was abusive. Of course, some of it was warranted with some of the things my dad and his siblings did when they were younger, but for the most part, it was unwarranted. Somewhat recently, my uncle Henry, my dad’s oldest brother, talked to my dad about this, and apparently, my dad got the worst of it. While my grandpa did verbally abuse his kids, my grandpa would physically abuse my dad. Now, I'm sure there’s more to know about my grandpa, and I’m certain that he was a good man, but my dad hasn’t talked a whole lot about his time with his dad. However, I know a bit more about his time with his mom. My grandma was a small irish woman that my dad described as a, “ninja with a spatula.” Whenever my dad would do something stupid, if his mom was around, he’d get a swift smack with whatever she was holding at the moment. Despite this, my dad cared deeply about his mom. When my dad was still in highschool, he saw his dad die. It was devastating for him, especially since most of his siblings had moved out at this point. I believe that it was just him, his mom, and one or two of his siblings. A couple of months after this, he graduated from highschool. Sadly, his mom died shortly after his graduation. He did have anywhere else to go, so he decided to join the military.
 I don’t know much about his early days in the military, other than a hazing story he told me. To make a long story short, a group of guys came up to him and asked if he was new. After he said yes, the group grabbed him, took him to some backroom, taped him up on the wall, and left him there overnight. He only got down once a staff sergeant, for whatever reason, came into the back room and saw my dad taped to a wall. There is a gap in my knowledge for what happened in the years that followed. The closest event that I can think of is when my dad met my mom. He was stationed at Schofield at the time, and his friend had been invited to an event of some kind, and had invited my dad to go with him. When they got there, my dads’ friend wanted to introduce him to someone. That person was my mom. Once again, I don't know much about this period of time, but I do know that after six months, they got married. Not too long after, in 2002, they had my brother, and then me in 2004. For a couple of years after my brother and I were born, my dad stayed in the military, and was soon deployed to Iraq. There are plenty of small stories from around this time, such as when the base he was deployed at was under an artillery barrage, and my dad decided to go outside in nothing but a robe and his helmet, and started flipping off the enemy. Or the time he saw an Iraqi man blow his own face off with an improvised explosive disguised as a flashlight. But, most of them are disturbing in some sense, so it would be best to keep the stories private.
 After 21 years of service, my dad retired from the military and stayed at home for a while. But, he got tired of not working, and got a government job as a computer simulation technician at Schofield. What he did was, when someone on base set up a time to use the simulation, my dad had to get specific details about how he should set up the simulation, such as a setting, what kind of wildlife is in the area if any, as well as any other specifics the client might want. Then, he’d have to set up the simulation from scratch with all the details the client asked for. He’d then have to test the simulation to see if everything worked and if all the specifications were met.Finally, when the scheduled day came, my dad would have to control every enemy that he had placed in the simulation prior. Every once in a while, my dad would bring me and my brother to work with him, and without us knowing, used my brother and I to test the simulation. We’d always have fun with it, and it was a creative way to get his work done. Also, he was unintentionally the safety guy, as he was the only one working on site that had the qualifications for it.
 After about six or seven years of working as a computer simulation technician, he retired once again, and truly started his home life. Up until he and my mom decided to pull me and my brother out of school and take us on a trip across the world. We took SpaceA flights to whatever country the flight was going. Of course, we saw in advance where we were going, so we had time to plan things out, but there was still a bit of a surprise each flight. He had planned for us to go on a trip across the United States after our trip across Europe. Luckily, everything went according to his plan, so by the time we got back to the U.S., he had set up a place to meet someone to buy an RV. During that trip, we visited every state in the mainland United States. Sadly, the trip was cut short due to complications with my dads’ health. It isn’t anything life threatening, but it is life changing. He was diagnosed with neuropathy, which is a result of damage to the nerves located outside of the brain and spinal cord. It put him through a lot of pain, and we decided to go back home early so he could see his doctor. For a while, he took the prescribed medication. But, after weeks of taking the medication, my brother noticed that my dad had become what can best be described as a couch potato. After my brother told him, my dad stopped taking the medication, and immediately noticed that he wasn’t as tired as he was while taking the medication. This leads us to now, with my dad enjoying a semi-retired life. He still works by driving for Uber, but he does that whenever he feels like it rather than having a work schedule. He seems to be enjoying things as they are, and I hope he keeps feeling that way for a long while.]
프로필 에세이를 개선하는 3가지 방법을 알려주세요:  [아버지는 평생 제 롤모델이었습니다. 좋은 일이 있을 때나 나쁜 일이 있을 때나 항상 가족을 위해 곁에 계셨죠. 제가 기억할 수 있는 한 아버지는 대부분의 일에 긍정적인 태도를 유지하려고 노력하셨습니다. 가끔 평정심을 잃을 때도 있었지만 대부분 잘 견뎌내셨죠. 한 가지 더 말씀드리자면, 아버지는 21년간 미군에 복무하셨기 때문에 행동 방식에 큰 영향을 미치셨어요. 다행히도 그는 가족애가 강하고 유머 감각이 뛰어나기 때문에 대부분 더 나은 방향으로 나아갔습니다. 그는 그다지 사교적 인 사람은 아니지만 그가 잘 어울리는 사람들을 잘 대합니다. 아버지는 1967년 6월 2일 어머니, 아버지, 8남매로 구성된 대가족 사이에서 태어났습니다. 아버지는 막내였기 때문에 대부분의 형제들에게 놀림을 많이 받으셨어요. 하지만 그중에서도 가장 심했던 건 아버지였어요. 아버지는 할아버지에 대해 자세히 말씀해 주시지는 않았지만 제가 들은 바로는 학대를 많이 하셨다고 합니다. 물론 아버지와 형제들이 어렸을 때 했던 일들 중 일부는 정당화될 수 있었지만, 대부분은 부당했습니다. 얼마 전 아버지의 큰형인 헨리 삼촌이 아버지와 이 문제에 대해 이야기를 나눴는데, 분명히 아버지가 가장 심하게 당한 것 같습니다. 할아버지가 자식들에게 언어적 학대를 하는 동안, 할아버지는 아버지를 신체적으로 학대했습니다. 할아버지에 대해 더 알아야 할 것이 많고 좋은 분이셨던 것은 확실하지만, 아버지는 아버지와 함께한 시간에 대해 많이 이야기하지 않으셨어요. 하지만 저는 할아버지가 엄마와 함께 보낸 시간에 대해 조금 더 알고 있습니다. 할머니는 아버지가 "주걱을 든 닌자"라고 묘사한 작은 아일랜드 여성이었어요. 아빠가 멍청한 짓을 할 때마다 엄마가 곁에 있으면 엄마가 들고 있던 물건으로 아빠를 한 대 때리곤 했죠. 그럼에도 불구하고 아버지는 어머니를 깊이 아끼셨습니다. 아버지가 아직 고등학생이었을 때 아버지가 돌아가시는 것을 보셨어요. 당시 대부분의 형제자매가 출가한 상태였기 때문에 아버지는 큰 충격에 빠졌습니다. 아버지와 어머니, 그리고 형제자매 한두 명만 남았던 것 같아요. 그로부터 몇 달 후, 그는 고등학교를 졸업했습니다. 안타깝게도 그의 어머니는 졸업 직후 돌아가셨습니다. 그는 갈 곳이 없었기 때문에 군에 입대하기로 결정했습니다. 저는 그가 저에게 들려준 괴롭힘 이야기 외에는 그의 군대 초기에 대해 잘 알지 못합니다. 간단히 말하자면, 한 무리의 남자들이 그에게 다가와서 신병이냐고 물었습니다. 그가 그렇다고 대답하자 그들은 그를 붙잡아 뒷방으로 데려가 벽에 테이프로 붙이고 밤새도록 방치했습니다. 어떤 이유에서인지 하사관이 뒷방에 들어와 아버지가 벽에 테이프로 묶여 있는 것을 보고 나서야 아버지는 내려오셨어요. 그 후 몇 년 동안 무슨 일이 일어났는지는 제가 아는 것과는 차이가 있습니다. 제가 생각할 수 있는 가장 가까운 사건은 아버지가 어머니를 만났을 때입니다. 당시 아버지는 스코필드에 주둔하고 계셨는데, 친구가 어떤 행사에 초대받아서 아버지도 함께 가자고 하셨어요. 그곳에 도착했을 때 아빠의 친구는 아빠에게 누군가를 소개해주고 싶다고 하셨어요. 그 사람이 바로 우리 엄마였어요. 다시 한 번 말씀드리지만, 이 시기에 대해서는 잘 모르지만 6개월 후에 두 분이 결혼하셨다는 것은 알고 있습니다. 얼마 지나지 않아 2002년에 제 동생이 생겼고 2004년에 저를 낳았습니다. 동생과 제가 태어난 후 몇 년 동안 아버지는 군대에 계셨고 곧 이라크에 파병되셨죠. 파병된 기지에 포격이 가해졌을 때 아버지는 군복과 헬멧만 걸치고 밖으로 나가 적을 물리쳤다는 등 이 무렵의 소소한 이야기들이 많이 있습니다. 또는 손전등으로 위장한 사제 폭탄으로 자신의 얼굴을 날려버린 이라크 남성을 본 적도 있습니다. 하지만 대부분 어떤 의미에서 불안한 이야기들이기 때문에 비공개로 하는 것이 가장 좋을 것 같습니다. 21년간의 군 복무 후 아버지는 군에서 은퇴하고 한동안 집에 머물렀습니다. 하지만 일을 하지 않는 것에 지치신 아버지는 스코필드에서 컴퓨터 시뮬레이션 기술자로 정부 일자리를 얻으셨어요. 아버지가 하는 일은 기지에 있는 누군가가 시뮬레이션을 사용할 시간을 설정하면 배경, 해당 지역에 어떤 종류의 야생 동물이 있는지, 고객이 원하는 다른 세부 사항은 무엇인지 등 시뮬레이션을 어떻게 설정해야 하는지 구체적인 세부 사항을 파악하는 것이었습니다. 그런 다음 고객이 요청한 모든 세부 사항을 포함하여 시뮬레이션을 처음부터 다시 설정해야 합니다. 그런 다음 시뮬레이션을 테스트하여 모든 것이 작동하는지, 모든 사양이 충족되는지 확인해야 했습니다. 마지막으로 예정된 날이 되면 아버지는 미리 시뮬레이션에 배치해둔 모든 적을 조종해야 했습니다. 가끔씩 아버지는 저와 동생을 데리고 오셔서 저희 몰래 시뮬레이션을 테스트하시곤 하셨어요. 저희는 항상 재미있어했고, 아버지의 창의적인 작업 방식이었죠. 또한 그는 현장에서 유일하게 자격을 갖춘 사람이었기 때문에 의도치 않게 안전 담당자가 되었습니다. 약 6~7년 동안 컴퓨터 시뮬레이션 기술자로 일한 후, 그는 안전 담당자가 되었습니다, 