A helicopter parent (also called a cosseting parent or simply a cosseter) is a parent who pays very close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they "hover overhead", overseeing every aspect of their child's life. A helicopter parent is also known to strictly supervise their children in all aspects of their lives, including in social interactions.

Etymology
The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which mentions a teen who complains: "Mother hovers over me like a helicopter..."

The term "helicopter parent" has been in use since the late 1980s. It subsequently gained wide currency when American academic administrators began using it in the early 2000s as the oldest millennials began reaching college age. Their baby-boomer parents earned notoriety for practices such as calling their children each morning to wake them up for class and complaining to their professors about grades the children had received. Summer camp officials have also reported similar behavior from these parents.

Roots
The Chronicle of Higher Education reported that helicopter parents continued advocating for their adult children at the graduate school level as well, such as advocating for their adult child's admission to law school or business school. As this cohort entered the workforce, Human Resource officials reported helicopter parents showing up in the workplace or phoning managers to advocate on their adult child's behalf or to negotiate salaries for their adult children.

Generational demographer Neil Howe describes helicopter parenting as the parenting style of baby boomer parents of millennial children. Howe describes the helicopter parenting of baby-boomers as a distinct parenting style from Generation X parents. He describes the latter as "stealth-fighter parents" due to a tendency of Gen X parents to let minor issues go while striking without warning and vigorously in the event of serious issues. Howe contrasts this to the sustained participation of Boomer parents of Millennials in the educational setting, describing these parents as "sometimes helpful, sometimes annoying, yet always hovering over their children and making noise." Howe describes baby boomers as incredibly close to their children, saying that in his opinion, this is a good thing.

Helicopter parents attempt to "ensure their children are on a path to success by paving it for them." The rise of helicopter parenting coincided with two social shifts. The first was the comparatively booming economy of the 1990s, with low unemployment and higher disposable income. The second was the public perception of increased child endangerment, a perception which free-range parenting advocate Lenore Skenazy described as "rooted in paranoia".

Helicopter parenting is on occasion associated with societal or cultural norms that furnish or standardize themes related to vicariousness.

China
Tianjin University has been building "love tents" to accommodate parents who have traveled there with their matriculating freshmen, letting them sleep on mats laid out on the gym floor. Commentators on social media have argued that the one-child policy has been an aggravating factor in the rise of helicopter parenting (see little emperor syndrome).

In research 
Helicopter parenting is a new age term or popular term that is used in the general population, but research often refers to the concept as overprotective parenting or overparenting. Research in the past referred to overprotective mothering, but overprotective parenting and overparenting are now favoured to include the role of fathers in parenting. Overparenting can be seen as a form of control and refers to any form of inappropriate (excessive or developmentally) involvement in a child's life from the parent. In response to its use in everyday terminology, research has recently started also using the term helicopter parenting.

Literature
Madeline Levine has written on helicopter parenting. Judith Warner recounts Levine's descriptions of parents who are physically "hyper-present" but psychologically absent. Katie Roiphe, commenting on Levine's work in Slate elaborates on myths about helicopter parenting: "[I]t is about too much presence, but it's also about the wrong kind of presence. In fact, it can be reasonably read by children as absence, as not caring about what is really going on with them ... As Levine points out, it is the confusion of overinvolvement with stability." Similarly, she reminds readers that helicopter parenting is not the product of "bad or pathetic people with deranged values ... It is not necessarily a sign of parents who are ridiculous or unhappy or nastily controlling. It can be a product of good intentions gone awry, the play of culture on natural parental fears."

The Chinese parenting style depicted in the book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother has been compared to western helicopter parenting. Nancy Gibbs writing for Time magazine described them both as "extreme parenting", although she noted key differences between the two. Gibbs describes tiger mothers as focused on success in precision-oriented fields such as music and math, while helicopter parents are "obsessed with failure and preventing it at all costs". Another difference she described was the Tiger Mother's emphasis on hard work with parents adopting an "extreme, rigid and authoritarian approach" toward their children, which she contrasts to western helicopter parents who she says "enshrine their children and crave their friendship".

Former Stanford dean Julie Lythcott-Haims, drawing from her experiences seeing students come in academically prepared but not prepared to fend for themselves, wrote a book called How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success  in which she urges parents to avoid "overhelping" their children.

Effects
University of Georgia professor Richard Mullendore described the rise of the cell phone as a contributing factor for helicopter parenting—having called cell phones "the world's longest umbilical cord". Some parents, for their part, point to rising college tuition costs, saying they are just protecting their investment or acting like any other consumer. Inter-generational research published in "The Gerontologist" observed educators and popular media lament helicopter parents who hover over their grown children, but reported "complex economic and social demands make it difficult for the Baby Boomers' children to gain a foothold in adulthood."

Clare Ashton-James, in a cross-national survey of parents, concluded that "helicopter parents" reported higher levels of happiness. Some studies suggest overprotective, overbearing, or over-controlling parents cause long-term mental health problems for their offspring. The description of these mental health problems may be lifelong and its impact is comparable in scale to individuals who have suffered bereavement, according to the University College London. According to the Medical Research Council, "psychological control can limit a child's independence and leave them less able to regulate their own behaviour".

According to a 2019 national poll on children's health by the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan, one-quarter of parents surveyed say they are the main barrier to their teen's independence by not taking the time or effort to give their teen more responsibility. The national survey of nearly 900 parents found most of those with kids between 14 and 18 who conceded to helicoptering said they did it because it was just easier to do things themselves.

Although parents or proponents of helicopter parenting claim that such a restrictive and imposing parenting style may instil discipline, other analysts have claimed that there is evidence that such forms of parenting result in teenage rebellion, and may even extend into a vicenarian rebellion.

A study from Beijing Normal University found that overparenting had a detrimental effect on children's leadership skills. Another study from the University of Florida found that helicopter parenting was associated with more emotional problems, struggles with decision-making and worse academic performance in a group of 500 students.

Statistics showed that when college students remained at home and had fewer siblings, over-parenting was more prevalent. Furthermore, parental participation however not over-parenting was linked to poorer confidence in students and unfavorable reactions to working situations.

Moreover, there are several college-related circumstances for the student that are connected to over-parenting. For instance, over-parenting is linked to more detrimental results, for example poorer self-efficacy, whereas parental participation is linked to more favorable results for students, like as better social self-efficacy and graduate school goals.

In other languages 
In Sweden, parents that would be considered helicopter parents in the English-speaking world are instead referred to as curlingföräldrar ("curling parents").

See also

 Authoritarianism
 Free-range parenting (parenting that purposely exercises minimal supervision over a child and allows them extended freedom in their activities)
 Monster parents (Japanese equivalent)
 Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
 Harvard Girl
 Kyoiku mama ("education mother")
 Parenting styles
 Parentalism
 Concerted cultivation
 Hong Kong children
 Mother (Pink Floyd song)
 "Father Knows Worst" (an episode of The Simpsons dealing with helicopter parenting)
 "Arkangel" (a Black Mirror episode involving helicopter parenting)
 Narcissism
 Stage mother
 Spying
 Tiger mother
 Turning Red (A Pixar animated film involving helicopter parenting)

References

External links

 August 2005 Wall Street Journal article on helicopter parents at colleges.
 Roots, wings & helicopters . From USA Today.
 Overbearing Helicopter Parents Keep Tabs. From the Minaret (student newspaper).

1990s neologisms
Parenting
Pejorative terms for people
헬리콥터 부모(Helicopter parent)는 아이에게 언제나 잔소리를 하고, 학교와 교사에게 간섭을 하는 부모를 말한다. 자녀에게 언제나 간섭을 하여 자녀를 ‘마마보이’로 만드는 부모를 뜻하기도 한다. 1991년 《뉴스위크》의 네드 제먼이 처음 소개한 말이다.

지나친 부모의 간섭 하에서 자란 아이는 자신의 삶을 살지 못하고 공허감을 느낀다. 이런 아이들은 부모의 기대를 저버리지 않을까 노심초사하게 되고 용기가 없어지며 성공에만 집착해 작은 실패를 견디지 못하고 좌절하게 된다. 대인관계에도 문제가 생긴다. 자신의 생각이 없어지며 의존적인 성격이 된다. 부모의 과보호는 자녀의 폭력성을 높이기도 한다. 어렸을 때는 대개 별 문제가 없이 자라는 것처럼 보이지만, 성인이 되면 문제가 보이기 시작한다. 예를 들어 대학생이 되어서 공부를 거의 하지 않거나 부모와의 관계가 틀어지고 분노를 표출한다.

한편으로 경쟁을 부추기는 사회 제도로 인해 부모들이 자식들을 과보호한다는 주장도 있다. 과보호를 하는 부모들은 대개 자신들이 자식들을 과보호한다는 걸 모르는 경우가 많다. 이런 부모들은 '자식들이 하고 싶은 대로 하게 해 줬고, 잔소리도 거의 안 했는데 왜 저러는지 모르겠다'고 말한다. 성격에 따라 일부는 이를 가지고 화를 내거나 불쾌감을 보이는 것으로 알려졌다.

바람직한 양육은 자식들에게 기본적으로 필요한 것만 해주고, 나머지는 스스로 해결할 수 있도록 지켜보는 것이다. 양육의 최종 목적은 자식이 부모로부터 독립하여 살 수 있게 하는 것이다. 그 이상을 부모가 미리미리 자녀의 삶을 기획하여 준비해주는 것이 아니라, 자녀 스스로 원하는 것을 선택할 수 있게 하고, 부모의 도움이 필요한 것이 없는지 물어보고 최소한만 도와주어야 한다.

최근에는 무인 항공기의 유행으로 '드론 부모' 나 '잔디깎기 부모'라는 유사어도 있다. 전문가들의 의견으로는 이러한 부모 대부분이 자신의 재력만을 믿으며 자식이 그 재력을 물려받아야한다는 심리에 따라 지나치게 간섭하는 경우가 있으며 또 한편으로는 자식이 사고사나 인위사 등으로 인해서 사별할지 모른다는 강박감과 불안적인 심리에다가 형제자매 기준으로 그 자식들 중 일부가 사고사나 인위사 등으로 인해서 줄어들거나 잃을 수 있을지 모른다는 정신적인 트라우마와 불안감과 관련이 있다고 주장한다.

원인 

 오직 성공만을 강요 : 실패와 실수를 일절 포용하거나 허용하지 않으며 작은 실수조차도 자식에게 분노하고 지나친 질책을 부추긴다.
 가족간의 불화 : 가족간의 불화가 깊을수록 자식에 대한 간섭이 심할 수 있으며 이는 마마보이와도 연관된다. 부부관계가 좋은 경우, 자식에 대한 간섭이 거의 없다. 남편이라는 남성으로부터 결핍된 사랑을 아들을 이용하여 충족시키려는 것이다.
 줄어드는 자식 수와 자식의 죽음에 대한 두려움 : 자식이 줄어들거나 자식이 죽게 될수록 이러한 성향이 짙은데 자식이 위험지역 등에 가기만 해도 바로 참견이나 간섭을 한다.
 무조건적인 무관용과 원칙고수 : 이러한 부모들 대부분은 관용이 없고 오직 자신의 원칙을 삼으며 자녀를 잡으려는 성격이 강하다.
 내 자식만이 소중하다 : 오직 내 자식만이 소중하며 다른 자식들은 경우에 따라 배척하거나 증오하는 성격이 강하다.
 정신적인 불안감 : 왠지 내 자식을 잃을지 모른다는 정신적인 불안감으로 인해서 이러한 경우가 있다. 과잉보호라고도 한다.
 누가 마음대로 하라고 했어? : 이러한 부모들은 제 자식이 잘못한 일을 한 것이 아니거나 단순한 일조차도 자기의 동의없이 마음대로 했다며 심하게 질책하고 극성을 부려서 자식들의 기를 죽게 만드는 경향이 있다.
 너는 왜 다른 애보다 못하냐 : 부모들 중에서는 자기 자식이 남의 자식보다 못하다면서 그 자식처럼 되라며 강요적인 행태를 보이기도 하다. 심하면 남의 자식을 칭찬하면서도 자기 자식은 그보다 못하면 증오와 폄하하는 성격도 있다. 대개 이런 경우는 갑부급이거나 가족간의 불화를 겪은 경우가 대부분 많으며 그렇지 않은 빈곤 가정이나 금슬이 좋은 가정에서는 보기 드문 현상으로 이쪽 가정들은 대부분 자기 자식을 자력으로 키워내려는 의지와 성향이 강하다. 이는 자식을 망치는 일이다.
 부모 본인의 단점 숨기기 : 부모 본인은 자신이 부족하다는 것을 알면서도 자식이나 아랫이들에게는 수치스러울 수도 있다며 이를 알지 못하기 위해 자기 자식을 억압하고 폭행 등으로 억누르려는 성향이 강하며 그에 따라 지나친 독선으로 인한 지배력을 통해서 부모 본인의 단점을 숨기려고 사사건건 간섭하는 경우가 많다.
 부모가 자식을 개인 사유물로 생각함 : 자식이기 때문에 자기 마음대로 대해도 된다고 생각하며 자식의 직업과 미래를 부모가 강요하는 성향이 강하며 이에 따라 자식이 부모가 원하지 않는 직업에 종사할까봐 사사건건 간섭한다. 이 중 가장 극단적 사례가 이은석 군으로 어머니가 육군사관학교에 입학하라고 강요했으나 이를 거부하고 K대학교에 진학했으며 이로 인해 더욱 노골적인 학대를 받다가 결국 극단적인 사건을 일으키고 말았다.

각주

관련 기사 
 

1991년
교육 문제
신조어
1990년대 신조어
사람에 대한 경멸어