So I'm getting married next year and while organising a guest list, I realised I wanted to invite a certain friend but did not want to invite her partner. Her partner and I have a quite a history, about 10 years worth and the partner has only ever been a good time friend. I decided that on the guest list, would only be people who had show me love and support during a very difficult 5 years of grief and illness and her partner, has not at all while she has.   


Her partner and I had a relationship early on in the 10 years we've known each other, before they met. We spent a lot of time after that relationship ended as good friends, helping each other out where we could etc. I got very sick about 5 years ago, to the point where I haven't been able to get out and socialise much, my socialising has been done online. I have never received messages from the partner at all, no phone calls, no visits no nothing from them. I have gone through some very difficult times within my family regarding my son and my step father and even posting online to my friends asking for support and help received nothing from her partner. She has always taken the time to check in with me  occasionally and see how Im going etc. She lives interstate however her partner lives predominantly in my city and still, since ive been sick and heavily troubled, I have received no support from the partner whatsoever.  


So, the guest list caused me quite the conundrum, however I decided to talk my friend about how I felt and told them I would still really love to have them at our wedding, however because of certain criteria in our wedding guest list making, that I could not invite her partner. She seemed quite offended, did not want to know the reason, and said she would not attend without him. I believe our friendship is still fine, but I am left wondering, am I the asshole?  


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