For background, my brother is my roommate.   I have a high paying job and was living in a major city far from where we grew up in a rural area.  My brother was having trouble finding a job in this rural area so I told him to come live with me and sleep on my couch. He got a job very quickly and then we moved to a 2 bedroom apartment.  He makes less than I do so I let him pay 1/3 of the rent.  I pay for groceries, utilities, and 2/3 of the rent.   (Totals are $1000 vs. $2700 per month)

I get along well with my brother so I like having him as a roommate.  I am fine with this arrangement in terms of money.   My brother recognizes I’m helping him live in a nice, luxury apartment for way less than it would’ve cost him.  I recognize that it’s pretty cool to have my brother as a roommate. 

Here’s the problem, his girlfriend moved in and she’s rude to my face and inconsiderate.  For example, she is a student still (like an older student who can’t get her shit together to finish a degree) and has a random schedule.  She has homework to do and asks me to turn off the TV because it bothers her.  She will take showers in the morning at the same time as me when I’m getting ready for work, which means there’s no hot water.   Her big plans involve going to hang out with friends.  I used to come home for lunch and watch TV for an hour.  Now when I get home at lunch she’s there and watching  something awful on my TV.  So I’ve stopped being able to go home for lunch. 

I finally got pissed off, listed these problems for my brother, and told him he needs to pay more rent and his girlfriend needs to chip in.  (She wasn’t there.). Later, he got mad and said I was making her feel uncomfortable with my complaints.  He also said how much more do I want? I’m kinda stuck because I have a bigger room so 1/2 split is unfair.  I’m thinking the split should be ($1600 /$2100) and then I won’t feel so awful about having to be cognizant of her schedule and comfort.  He says he can’t afford that and I’m stressing him out because he can’t find a reasonable (not awful) place for any cheaper.  

I think it’s unfair his girlfriend moved herself in, makes me uncomfortable in my own house, and gets to do all that for free.  

Am I the asshole?

