Some background: my (26f) fiancé (24m) and I have been living together for about a month. Previously we both lived with our parents. I however, have lived on my own before, just moved back for financial reasons. My fiancé on the other hand has never lived alone. My fiancé’s parents used to rent the house we currently live in and after they moved out, my fiancé said he wanted to “live like a bachelor before I moved in” which is fine by me. He kept delaying my moving in for almost a month longer than anticipated, eventually citing that he “wanted to learn what it takes to run a house and realize all the things his mom did” for him so he didn’t take me for granted. 

Since moving in (and before really, when I’d stay on the weekends) I have shouldered the majority of the household work. Cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. I have a job, internship and grad school all going on at the same time meaning that most days I leave the house at 7 am and don’t get home until 6, 8, or even 11 pm. On the days I’m home early, I don’t mind having to do dishes or cook or take out trash but on the long days, that is the last thing I feel like doing when I get home. 

Now, I understand that my fiancé doesn’t feel like doing this stuff right when he gets home either, and I definitely do not think he should be waiting on me but when I get home at 11 pm and see a sink full of dishes, or an overflowing trash can I get frustrated knowing he had all night to clean up. 

I brought up the issue that I needed/wanted more help around the house and was met with a “well, you always do the dishes before I get the chance. I’d do them before I go to bed but I go to bed late and you already have them done.” Except there have been nights where I’ve decided not to do anything and there will still be dishes or trash piled up when I get up the following morning. 

Anything that I said next during he conversation was met with “well you just need to ask me to do it” and once I stated that I shouldn’t have to ask for help with these basic things, he curtly replied, “fine. I’ll help more.” I ended the conversation and walked away so a larger argument didn’t start. 

So, AITA for asking my fiancé to contribute more to keeping our house clean without having to prompt him to do it? 
