Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : my high school sweetheart and i dated 4 years on and off. we had lots of problems, but by the time we were in our senior year, we seemed to have it figured out. at least, i thought we did.

our breakup devastated me. i was living with my (very, very) controlling parents and couldn't leave the house very often. i wasn't allowed to have a lisence, had no car, etc. so i had an extremely limited social life. however, i knew my boyfriend had to live his life, so i always encouraged him to have fun. i got worried i was preventing him from enjoying his social life, so i once asked if he wanted to break up, but he said no.

our friends became his friends. he stopped asking me to go anywhere. he didn't eat lunch with me anymore. he blew me off for parties. i understood a party was probably more fun than watching movies with me in my parents' house, but it still stung a bit. i didn't say anything, but during that isolation, i developed a small online crush on someone. i felt so guilty i told my ex immediately. he later cited this as the reason he dumped me. which he did via text. while he was at a party.

i felt incredibly guilty and like i had sabotaged my chance with the love of my life. we had planned to move in together and id been looking forward to it, but i ended up staying with my parents. he remained my friend and framed it as "i forgive you and care enough to be your friend regardless."

maybe 2 years later, i found out he had been making out with all of our friends when they were drunk and often asked them if he should dump me. apparently they all heavily encouraged him to, one because she had a thing for him. she has assured me it would be best if i didn't know the details of what he said about me. i never told him i knew. i moved away. 

we are still in regular contact, but one drunken night with aforementioned girl who was into him emboldened me to tell him i knew and that it was fucked for him to let me think it was my fault all those years. he said he never told me because it wasn't relevant to how he felt about me and it would only hurt me. he apologized profusely in what seemed to be very sincere. i forgave him, but he hasn't spoken to me since. i was worried he may be spiraling, so i asked my friend if i should text him to check in. my friend then heavily implied i was the asshole because it was 4 years ago and the convo probably hurt my ex's feelings. my friend said my ex has probably changed and emotionally matured and actually said "that doesn't sound like [ex]" but he has never met or talked to my ex so it pissed me off. my friend was doing that obnoxious "i don't want to choose sides or be a meanie uwu" bullshit, but after i was done being irritated, i started to feel guilty. 

idk, i think i'd want to know if i hurt someone that badly, even if it'd been a few years. my head is jello right now, sorry. i just feel gross. AITA?