Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I just discovered this subreddit a little while ago and I figured out this would be the best place to get rid of something that's been bothering me since the start of the year.

So, this one needs a ton of context, please stand with me. 2018 just started and next year I would enter University, but to do that first I would need to prepare for a national entry test to see if people meet the requirements of the university here in my country, to help with the task there are educational entities called pre-universities, who work besides regular schools, to lend a hand with studies making sure people remember everything they had learned over the past years.

Here starts my story, I entered in one of these establishments to make sure I would enter University, some of my school friends also entered here. I had chemistry classes with at the same hour with one of my friends so we ended up in the same classroom. All goes dandy until my friend noticed that this girl ended up in the same classroom as us, they met prior to the start of classes in some clubs that the pre-university does before the start of the scholar year. He introduced me to her and I needless to say I found her really beautiful.

Time passed by and we both got to know each other, at the time she had a boyfriend so I didn't expected to be nothing more than a friend to her, I was cool with that, at least at that time. My group of friends ended up meeting more people and we ended up with our little family there.

All good until we were near the end of the year, I had enough bottling up my own emotions, I didn't told her how I felt about her and ended up hiding the truth from her all the time, even when we ended up trusting each other, we both made clear of that. So I ended up growing balls and I was slowly building up the confidence to tell her how I felt. All the poems I made for her, all the dreamy situations I created, I was tired of dreaming, I wanted to see reality.

That was until I saw one of her Instagram stories, I had the gut feeling that something bad was happening so I tried to know if she was okay, she ended up asking me if she could call me to talk, because at that time I was the only one she could trust, that's when I knew something bad was coming.

She ended up telling about all the shit that's been going on at her house, she ended up telling me about how people used to bully her back in middle school, ended up telling me of how bad she felt when people she thought was her friend ended up leaving her in the past years, and a lot more dark things about her. I didn't knew how to act back then, I ended up telling her my story too (but that's other thing) and told her that I would prefer to talk face to face and saying that I would be by her side.

I thought I made the right choice, but for some reason it didn't feel like it. I felt awful, I felt useless, I felt I could have done more for her, I felt I could actually help her but instead I was holding back for some petty feelings. I wanted better for her, I thought that if I was out of her life it would be better, I thought saying my feelings as a goodbye would be the best.

The day came by and we ended up talking face to face about everything, about her problems and all of that, but she was way better than that day when she called me. I didn't feel like it, but I ended up confessing her, I even bought her some chocolates as a last goodbye. I expected worse but she ended up telling me it was okay, there was nothing bad about how I felt, about her and her situation, in fact she told me she found me attractive and also different from the other people she knew, she said that if I had confessed sooner there might be a chance we ended up together. Needless to say it was the best day I've ever had with her, in fact we ended up skipping classes just to talk more, by the evening it was time for us to say goodbye and there I was with goofiest smile on my face.

But for some reason everything still felt wrong, I felt like if I was too late, I felt that she lied to not hurt me, I don't know. I decided I wanted to be alone for a little bit and so I did. From now on the problems starts to arise, I noticed that if it wasn't for me starting up the conversation she wouldn't talk to me at all, and also that she started to talk less and less with me.

The last of classes started to come by and our relationship was kinda better than before, we talked more but still not as much as before, in the final class I ended up asking I we would meet again once we do the entry test and all of this university shenanigans end, and she said of course we would because we are friends.

And then is just one shit show after the other, before the test I would ask her how she was doing but she would leave me on read, I didn't blame her because once is nothing, but then more and more time passed by and she wouldn't respond me, nor my friends, like if she disappeared from the face of the earth. At that time I was distraught to say the least, I felt like I was depending on her way too much, so I ended up muting her insta but I would still come by to check her stories, then one day she would respond me saying that she's been feeling like shit in the past couple of weeks and that she needed some time alone, I respected that and I would give her all the time she needed, but I ended up asking if there was anything I could do to help, I expected a "don't worry, I'll be fine" but she left me on read again.

I was mad now, I knew she needed some time alone but leaving me on read over and over was really messing up with me and my emotions, so I ended up unfollowing her on social media.

The weeks after that were a bliss, I finally made peace with myself and my emotions, I felt that if she talked to me I would do it in total peace, and indeed she talked to me in Christmas to wish me a happy Christmas and a new year, I did the same and curious about her state I asked how she was doing, I waited, one day, five days, on read once again, time waiting for her to respond my on read passed by and nothing. Now I was angry.

I ended up cutting ties, I didn't want to know anything about her, I blocked her and everything, not even a goodbye. Time passed by and my anger finally subdued, I ended up unblocking her and she ended up putting her account on private, she doesn't talk to my friends either, like if last year didn't happened at all. And that's about it.

At the time I acted thinking in myself, I was tired that my mood would depend on her and her actions, I was tired of being the heartbroken mess, and I was tired of being a heartbroken in her eyes. I thought it was the best for the both of us, I would finally stop being an emotional mess and she would get rid of an delusional try of a lover. It seems that everything ended up good for both of us.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I start to talk to her once again, if I hurt her from disappearing from her life without any kind of reason and if I would get a chance at love. But deep down I know I wonder if I'm the bad guy on the story, or if she's the bad one, or both, or hell none of us.

Sorry for such a long story but I wanted to get rid of this for so long...