Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : My husband and I eloped in 2017 as we were moving across the country and I needed health insurance. We were getting married later that year anyway, so we figured it wouldn’t be a huge problem.

Then, his mother suddenly (and horrifically) died. My husband could no longer stomach our plans since his mother was supposed to be there. We cancelled them. He hasn’t been in a good place mentally since. I realized a wedding reception wasn’t going to happen, and I’m okay with it. I’m 30, I don’t care. I didn’t want a wedding anyway.

My parents absolutely love him and cried when he called to let them know he was proposing. I joke they’d trade him for me, but I do know it’s semi-true.

I decided we should just tell them we eloped and get it over with, especially since my mother has been getting particularly cruel lately. Our relationship has always been strained, and she loved to call and tell me that my husband clearly didn’t want to marry me anymore and he was going to dump me and take all our resources at any moment. She doesn’t understand why it was hard for my husband to watch his mother die. Her only words of comfort to me were, “Are you going to cry this much when I die? I hope you’ll cry more.”

Anyway, we told my parents during Thanksgiving. My dad was PUMPED. He hates weddings and spent a lot of money on my brother and sister. My mom was very polite and upbeat, but I knew it was a sham. She has not spoken to me since. My husband sent her a handwritten letter apologizing (again) for the secrecy, and acknowledging that she was allowed to feel hurt, and we wanted to hear those feelings.

When she’s mad at one of her three children, she takes it out on the rest. She won’t talk to my siblings either. She would do this stuff when I was a child, and my dad would force me to apologize over and over, even if I didn’t do anything wrong. He said it didn’t matter, but we had to appeal to her ego for family harmony to be restored.

I’m tired. I’ve called almost daily to make her feel special. She won’t call me back. I think I’m done calling. My sister thinks I should keep calling her daily, like has been. I’m sure eventually she’ll decide to stop “punishing” me, but I don’t really feel like enabling her manipulative actions anymore. She’s allowed to be pissed, but I’d rather she talk about it with me so we can move past it. The silent treatment is tiring after all these years.

AITA for waiting for her to call me after weeks of unreturned calls? Common phone etiquette says the ball is in her court, but I’m probably an asshole for eloping in the first place. (My life-saving meds would have been several thousand dollars without it though.)