  

Bit of a long one here but bear with me. So this happened about 2 months ago and I have opinions from my friends but I wanted other peoples’ opinions on the matter. Over the summer my friend was at her annual army training for a month, away from her boyfriend, this has never been a problem for them because it would be her second time doing this while they were together, not to mention her leaving once a month to go on drill. Anyway she comes back and they begin having some relationship problems, mostly about what they want to do with their lives, I should also point out he is nearly 4 years older than her (almost 25 now). He has his life set and a career in front of him and she wants a career in the army which could send her basically anywhere in the world.

Fast forward a couple weeks and they “break up” for the first time, so to take her mind off of it we decided to go out with a group of friends for some drinks, she planned to sleep on the couch at my house and her boyfriend did not like that fact (I am a guy and he has never been a fan of me). So when she left that was when they “broke up”. When we were out and she got some drinks in her it was like she never even was dating him, let alone the fact that they were together not hours earlier, but she was just all over any guy that would give her attention, especially other guys in ROTC with her.

This cycle continues a couple more times and one day when I was home over the summer she texted me saying she wanted to hook up with me and that she has wanted to for a while now, she was of course, absolutely wasted, and complaining that her boyfriend doesn’t pay any attention to her like she needs it. I texted her that she is going to regret what she is saying in the morning and she did. Then I get a call from her saying that she had gone home and slept with a bartender from that night and that she didn’t know what to do or how to explain anything to her boyfriend. This is when I tell her she has to be up front with him about it and take whatever he does on the chin or just break up with him.

She opts for neither and decides to not tell him anything for a while. I let it slide because I knew she was trying to figure some stuff out about her future. But then she started hooking up with the lieutenant that was in charge of her at school. For those that don’t know thing about the military this is a BIG no no. this went on for a while and it started to really irritate me because she would be late to meet ups with myself and other friends because she was “busy” with this guy. During this time, her and her boyfriend were going through a rough patch but they weren’t officially broken up yet. Eventually I confronted her about the whole thing and told her she was jeopardizing her future by doing this and a fling when you’re this young isn’t worth risking your career.

She takes my advice and afterwards it seems like she is going to cut things off with her boyfriend officially and just be done… until he came to her house crying one night because he missed her, and she bought the whole thing. I will point out she did tell him she had been talking to other guys during their rough spot but he didn’t care that she had been “talking” to other dudes.

Eventually I hit a breaking point, people had recently been not up front with me about important things and I didn’t think what she was doing to him was at all fair, so I told him, “I know you’re not my biggest fan but I am not one of the guys that she hooked up with”. This of course started a shitstorm of epic proportions, my friend even tried messaging the girl I had recently ended things with asking if she wanted to do “mean shit” to get back at me.

I dint feel bad for what I did because if I were the guy I would want to know the truth about what is going on, plus from my point it was a generally unhealthy relationship on both sides (I really think he is just staying with her because he wants to be engaged with someone in less than a year) so big question, am I the asshole for doing what I did and exposing my best friend to her boyfriend?