First off, this is less of a "Am I the asshole" and more of a "would I be an asshole if."

For a bit of context, I have depression, and I have anxiety. I started seeing a therapist about four weeks ago, and started medications about two weeks ago. Lately it has gotten bad enough to where I cannot find any joy in anything I do, no matter how much I used to love doing it. 

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I have a group of friends who I have been frequently hanging out with lately, but every time we're with each other I cannot enjoy myself; every time I smile with them it's because I don't want to be rude. Because of this, I am extremely boring. They are very great, smart people and I do not want them to think of me as the boring person I have been lately. I have thought about taking a break from hanging out with them so I can focus on my mental health and hopefully return to the more fun person I was before

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The reason I don't want to disclose to them that I am (potentially) taking a break from spending time with them is because I feel like they've had enough of me and my depression. I know that sounds absurd but every time we hang out the person who I am closet to (she also has depression) notices how off I am and checks up on me. And while that's well and good I do not like how responsible she potentially feels for me. I don't want to constantly lean on her as a crutch because I know very well that her life is no easier than mine and it isn't fair for her to have to spend so much time and energy on me.

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All I want to do is spend some time alone to work on myself without having to worry about people worrying about me. 

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