Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Some things you need to know:

1. This is a throw-away account.
2. I was recently diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder and I just started taking meds but they probably won't work for two weeks (take that information how you will.)

My partner and I have been together for almost two years. It's been rocky, partially because of them, and always blown out of proportion because of my (previously) un-diagnosed BPD. They have wanted a dog since I met them--not, actively advocating for one, but it would sometimes come up in conversation. I wanted one too, I grew up around dogs and cats, but we live in a small apartment and as I've learned over time, stress is a trigger for me.

If you don't know much about Borderline, basically it involves identity issues, extreme mood swings, impulsive behavior, fears of being abandoned, self-isolation...blah blah blah. Anyway I was feeling really "up" and decided we should go to the shelter and buy a dog. So...that's what we did.

Don't get me wrong, despite being a high energy breed, some separation anxiety, and being a medium sized dog (kind of big) in a small apartment, it's a great dog. Very smart, easily trainable, loyal, hasn't caused any harm or damage when left alone. Basically it has a ton of great traits and there is no reason to not like it.

However, that fleeting really-fantastic mood has worn off and reality has sunk in. We have a dog. We've had a dog now for a few days and honestly, I'm exhausted. I work full-time and don't do well working full-time either. (Stress is a trigger for me.)

Basically, I really regret this decision. I feel stressed already at work, and now I feel stressed at home. My partner said they would be fine taking the dog out every time it needs to be let out, which makes me feel a little better, but I still feel stressed. My home should be my home BASE. Now, with a dog in our tiny apartment, I have to listen to unwanted sounds, verbalize that I want to be left alone, keep an eye out for bad behavior if the dog is alone in the other room... It's like a huge distraction and disruption from what was once a peaceful place for me to come home and get personal projects done.

We still have days left on our "trial period" with the dog which means we can return the dog if things don't work out, but obviously I feel super guilty. I'm just having this immature rude awakening that I don't actually want a dog in this tiny apartment and I feel shitty because I'm the one that set everything up while feeling high on good emotions. I've had dogs before so I already knew about the work required in caring for one, but I didn't realize how much it would negatively affect me.

My partner knows that I'm unhappy about this decision but doesn't want to return the dog. I honestly don't even want to be at the house anymore and I think it's going to negatively affect our relationship too.  


AITA for wanting to return the dog? What would you do?