Sorry for the dramatic title lol. Hoping to get some insight, especially from couples who experienced similar situations and young professionals. 

My SO and I are looking to move apartments. Currently our commutes are a blessing, 30 mins door to door max. While an ideal situation, lately my SO has been entertaining the idea of a new area that is at least an hour commute each way. 

Further out we could afford a bigger, newer space with loads of amenities. Our money could go almost 25% further. He wants a home office where he can close the door and take important client meetings. He travels once a month for work and the area would be close to two major airports. 

I wouldn’t mind this in the least bit if we had a mortgage and kids, but as it stands now we are a young, childless couple renting while trying to save money for a down payment for a house. Money aside, my biggest concern is that 2hr/day commute which feels unnecessary and could even backfire on us. 

His job is extremely stressful and time consuming. He will be traveling a lot. He’s already up to his eyeballs in work and will no doubt only get busier. Since I’m not making as much or stressed as much as he is, I naturally would take on more responsibilities around the house to ease his day and streamline our lives, like cleaning, cooking, chores and appointments, etc. 

I (at least in the foreseeable future) will not have the flexibility to work from home like he does. I work full time and, if we make this move, I will spend 2 hours commuting each day. Not only will I have to leave earlier in the morning, I will be coming home later. I’m looking for a higher paying position now that will no doubt be more time consuming, so it could mean I’ll be home an additional hour or two later every day. 

The move so far out from work feels draining and unnecessary. I would prefer to be closer to work without the extra space and amenities and get home in time to make dinner and clean up, instead of coming home after a long day and a longer commute to cook and clean, only to do it all over again eight hours later. 

Ultimately, I want to ease the weight of his job, but I feel like he doesn’t realize how a move this far out might backfire on us long term. The space would be super nice but the time and energy would be stretched thin. 

Eventually when we do have a family and house 1hr+ out from work, by that time I’ll either be working part time or staying at home with the kids while they’re young. Again the commute is not the issue m, it’s the fact that I won’t be able to do as much as I want around the house to support our family without bleeding myself dry or relying on him to take on a large portion of the responsibilities. 

I also don’t want to sound like I’m trying to get out of an 1hr+ commute because I’m lazy or something. Or maybe I am being lazy, you guys tell me! I don’t have much real world experience and I’m sure I’m not the first or the last person to take on a longer commute. In the end, I would hate for this to put unnecessary strain on us and create any imbalance or resentment. Thanks for reading!