Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Backstory: 
I’ve been married to my husband for 7 yrs. We have 3 girls, ages 10, 6, 4.
We are really close with his side of the family, aside from his dad and step mom. The only time we ever see them is at a family function, and then the only interactions they have with our kids is trying to pin our kids down and take all of this pictures with them like they are SO CLOSE, I guess for appearances. Our younger kids ask us at each event who these people even are. It annoys me because despite my husband and I trying to have them involved with their grandkids, they aren’t. They’ve told us verbatim that they just don’t want to deal with kids at this point in their life (they told us this 3 yrs ago). As in, they don’t want to take them to do anything, they don’t want them over at their house, they aren’t interested in coming over to visit at our place, and they damn sure do not want to ever babysit - don’t ask. And by that, they mean OUR children, because they have been heavily involved with her grandchildren (all BOYS) and still are, which is what has sparked me to say “fuck them” this Christmas. 
This year in Oct. our youngest turned 4. The entire family got together, minus DH’s dad and step mom, to celebrate. Turns out they had drove to AZ for vacation for his step mom’s birthday without saying a word to anyone, and on the drive back, stopped at my DH’s uncle’s house in TX and bought a 2016 model vehicle from him for HER grandson; cost ~10k. 
DH’s Aunt and Uncle stopped by DH’s dad and step mom’s house a few days later and found this out. DH’s Aunt and Uncle mention to them it had been our daughter’s birthday, and were they going to go by to see her or anything...???
NOPE. They said forgot, and didn’t have plans to come by.
The family gets together 3 weeks later to celebrate DH’s 2 cousin’s birthdays, and DH’s dad and step mom are there - and still don’t acknowledge our daughter’s birthday at that point. 
They’d been reminded IN PERSON, they just don’t care. Now, I’m not mad that there isn’t a gift. I’m mad that they say they don’t want anything to do with kids, but they are really involved with her grandkids, even buying a several thousand dollar car for the oldest, but can’t bother to even tell our child “Happy Birthday”.

Here’s where the potential assholery on my part comes into play:

For Christmas, we’re just getting the men gift cards. They are all notorious for being hard to buy for. For his dad, though, instead of the usual gift card, I suggested to my husband we should just get his dad a decent polo in green (his fav color). It’d save us money, and he isn’t exactly on my “nice list” this year - so not forgo a gift completely, just not as nice of one.  To be honest though, I really feel like giving them the consideration they gave our child - NONE. 
For the women, I decided that I would crochet some really nice &amp; intricate infinity scarves with this gorgeous wool. Each one takes me about 12 hrs to complete (so an entire day), and are worth about $70. After the way his step mom and dad have treated my children, I refuse to put that much of my time into a scarf for his step mom - I can just buy her a scarf from Walmart. 
I’ve also more or less put my husband on notice that if they try to pin our kids down for pictures and our kids don’t want to take pictures with them (as has been the case EVERY year), that I’ll be telling my kids it’s ok if they don’t want to and that they’re free to go play. I won’t make my kids go through that for people who don’t care about them.
My husband has cautioned me and says that if I’m going to make scarves for all of the other women, I should probably do one for his step mom or it will be obvious - and that if I tell them off about the picture issue, well, I could just end up looking like a giant asshole between the scarf, shirt, and picture issue.

What do you think reddit...? 

AITA for refusing to put that much effort into a gift or for giving a less expensive gift to people who have treated my children like they have? AITA for not making my kids take pictures with them if they don’t want to? 