Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I’m self-employed with an online business and very much DIY. I’m not an expert at everything, but I’m a quick learner when it comes to, say, doing my own graphic art or editing my own podcasts. It may not be the most polished job, but it does the trick.

My boyfriend loves tech and I used to say some things in passing like “someday when I get the time I’ll learn how to use this camera” or “it would be cool to animate my logo in the future” but I’ve stopped saying that around him because he will drop everything to help me do it, or just do it for me.

Problem is, it’s just not a high priority right at that time, or I don’t want him wasting precious time (he’s in med school and he barely has time as it is). If I catch him doing these projects for me, it makes me feel awful that he’s not using that time for better things — his parents already hate me (unrelated reasons; they’re racist and they want him to be with another doctor) and think I’m a distraction and waste of time, when in reality I’ve been trying to respect his space and give him as much time to study as possible.

Today we finally had an argument about him needing to “fix” everything — he always has suggestions for how I can improve my business or little things here and there. I will hear him out but usually “no thanks, it’s not a big deal/not a priority/I don’t have the time” and he will interpret that as “you just do it for me” and he’ll drop everything to help. I don’t want his help. And oftentimes the work he tries to do for my business is a surprise (meaning he doesn’t consult me on the details) and the result is not “on brand”, it sticks out like a sore thumb because it’s not consistent with my usual aesthetic. He sulks when I “reject” his gifts.

I told him that I don’t want to seem ungrateful, but he’s overstepping his bounds. I never asked him for help, and I don’t want to mix my business and personal relationships. Most of all, I don’t want his input in how I run my own business, because he thinks he can watch a few episodes of Dragon’s Den and automatically knows how to run a company. I’ve been running my business just fine for years before we got together.

He thinks that I’m closed minded and I could be making more money by presenting myself in a more professional way, I think he’s being pushy and telling me how to do my job and he’s not respecting my boundaries. I finally put my foot down and told him any more “help” from him is a waste of both of our time and I won’t be accepting any more of his “gifts” involving changing my brand.

Am I the asshole here?