Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : A bit of backstory about me, since it's relevant to the story, but I'll try to keep it short.
I was diagnosed with clinical depression (and anxiety) in highschool, after a few suicide attempts. At the end of my third year especially I reached a lowest, and I basically turned into a shut-in. I became easily irritable and waking up in the morning to go to school was a challenge. One day I just couldn't make it and my mom, who was under a lot of pressure because of my situation, didn't take it too well. She started yelling at me, throwing insults about my mental state, so I got so hurt that I stopped thinking straight: I jumped at her and wrapped my hands around her neck, trying to choke her. I came back to my senses a few seconds after and immediately let go. I won't use my mental illness as an excuse, what I did was deplorable and it's something that keeps haunting me even today. After that event, me and my mom together had a session with my (at the time) counselor. We talked a lot and I apologised profusely to her. Today we have a wonderful relationship and I feel incredibly lucky.
At this point you may wonder how all of this relates to my (4 years) older brother. Well, the thing is, he was actually present to that episode (and restrained me). Right after it happened he didn't say much, but one day he just came to me and started spouting a bunch of awful things to me, specifically regarding how much of a failure I am. He was fully aware of my suicidal attempts and depression, and attacked me right where it hurt the most. My mom told me that he did that because he couldn't forgive me for what I did, but I really can't understand why if me and my mom already went over it. After that, he said that he didn't want to talk to me anymore, so I went along with it. Right now I am trying to keep my distance from him as much as I can, hopefully cutting ties with him completely one day. I feel like he literally tried to instigate me to kill myself, and never even tried to fix that by talking about it. I honestly don't think I can forgive him, but I understand I did something terrible as well. So, I would like to know, AITA in all of this?