My wife, "Viv", works two days a week in education. I work full time. I have flexible hours within certain limits. Two years ago when she was applying we discussed it and decided that we could make two days a week work for us. Since our kids aren't in school or daycare yet, I've been using my off day to care for them while she works, and her mom comes to care for them on the other day. So far so good.

Every month I have to change my work schedule to accommodate hers. Every month there's at least one meeting that's outside her regular hours which requires me to change my whole work schedule to provide care for our kids. I love my kids, and I don't mind caring for them — I'm their dad, after all, it's in the job description! — bit I hate having to move meetings and deadlines around. I feel like her boss is a shit communicator and shittier planner who cannot seem to schedule these "all hands on deck" meetings until the last minute. Then Viv comes home saying it was pointless and that an email would have done the job nicely.

But when I've discussed it with Viv I feel like an asshole. It has been over a year now; I know how disorganized her boss is and it doesn't usually affect me a whole lot. And I want Viv to work if she wants to. Of all the jobs she's had while we have been together this one seems to be the best one for her in terms of work stress and ability to do what she wants in her time off. So I feel bad that I haven't adjusted. 

Am I the asshole? And if so, how can I adjust my attitude? 