My dad said something terrible to my mom in front of me and my brother a few years ago. We haven't been speaking since but we do live together. 

Last month we got into another fight. He was threatening to beat me up and saying I don't respect him. I asked him to acknowledge that what he said was wrong. His response was that what he said, he said in anger and he can't be held accountable for it. This went on for a while. I didn't ask for a apology, by the way. Finally we went to sleep and haven't spoken since and probably never will. 

I think the things we say in anger, we really mean. Because we don't have a filter during those times. In my dad's defense he's normal 90% of the time. But sometimes he will take a little thing and make such a huge deal out of it and seriously traumatise me. All my family members are telling me to talk to him and that I shouldn't be so egotistical. But I think he's a toxic person and I'm too sensitive to my own feelings.

We had a normal relationship when I was a kid. But I have a habit of holding onto bad things. I think saying something harsh would be 'acceptable' from a teenager like me but it shouldn't be excused for a 50 year old man. I won't ever talk to him again unless I absolutely have to. But I still want to know if I'm in the wrong so I won't make the same mistakes again.