Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Firstly, I did make an anonymous account for this. No real reason, I just have mild trust issues and I'm not sure I want this on my standard account.

Probably the most important piece of information here is that I'm in love with my best friend and have been for year. (I'm a dude, she's a girl, not that it matters) 

She's wonderful. She never ked me on or made me think something was there when it wasn't, and she made it very clear that she didn't want anything more than what we have. She is, however, very amorous. Before our AP Euro test, she got super nervous while we were studying at her house, long story short, we ended up cuddling for upwards of an hour. We've held hands, she almost kissed me one time, and we enjoy platonic flirting. Again, we both agreed that none of that means anything, but I still think it justifies my feelings.

For the longest time I was content because I just wanted her to be happy. And she is. We make each other calmer and happier, but earlier this year, she spent a month in a mental hospital, for reasons I'm not disclosing. When she came back, her brain was all sorts of fucked up, and I needed to stay with her for months before she finally recovered and was able to handle herself. The problem is, I'm not happy anymore. I want more and she doesn't. (Yes, I did ask her out once and got rejected) 

We got in a big argument a couple weeks ago for unrelated reasons and I needed some time alone, but I saw her crying today, and it turns out she was rejected from her college of choice. I walked into class ready to end a friendship that's excruciating because I want more, but she's already devastated because of college. I don't know if I can do that to her, but I also don't know if I can hold on for the last few months before we're off to college.

TL;DR I love my best friend, she doesn't want anything more. I was about to end our friendship because I couldn't handle it anymore, but she got rejected from her first choice for college. I don't know if I can do it anymore