I started working with this girl around 3 years ago. We quickly became close and would go to events that were slightly left-of-field together (indie theatre shows, 80s dance nights etc). For the first year it was mainly platonic between us but with time we grew more and more intimate. It got to the point where I thought lines were being crossed and I was honest about my feelings to her. She agreed we probably took it too far and while she cared for me deeply, she was committed to her relationship. I understood and we agreed there needed to be some space between us for a while and after that it was almost as if it was back to when we were purely platonic.

Last night though we met up at an event and while we didn't do anything that would explicitly count as cheating, I did feel as though we were at the very least blurring the lines between friendship and something more. In the interest of determining the exact extent of my assholishness it was mainly things like her taking my hands in hers, putting an arm around her while she rested her head against my chest and other, similar small gestures of physical affection. At the end of the night we were on a balcony and sitting really close to one another and we just stopped speaking and stared into each other's eyes for a really long time. I know if it was my SO if I heard about things like that, it probably wouldn't sit too well with me. AITA for continuing to allow, and contributing to this stuff happening? She definitely has feelings for me too on some level, but seems to be conflicted about it. If I am the asshole in this scenario, how can I not be one, and how can I be the friend she deserves?