Backstory on my husband's family: both my BIL and FIL are drug addicts, mostly into the hard stuff like heroin.  However, my BIL was in a great rehab facility for a few years with his own little but growing family.  My family have bought them clothes, grocery gift cards, even electronics to help them out.  We were so proud of the BIL and his family for trying to stay off drugs and working to move them out of rehab.  An example of what we do for them: One Thanksgiving weekend, I drove 140 miles round trip (twice) from home to the facility to pick up this family so they'd be home for the holidays. 

One day, BIL gets kicked out of the facility. Not 100% sure why but whatever the reason was, BIL couldn't return for 3 months.  We get the call and we told him, "Move in with us.  Let's find you a job..." all the supportive stuff.  Instead, he moves in with his father (my FIL) and they start smoking.  Years of rehab down the drain.  It was like all the support we gave him didn't matter.  We tried talking to the FIL as well but he didn't care... he had his drug using best friend back (FIL and the rest of the in laws need their own thread).

We don't want to be anywhere where they're present.  It's just an argument waiting to happen.  The in laws are pissed at us that just because they took everything we've done for granted, we're still supposed to see them and support them, including buying them more stuff, giving them rides, etc.  Just because they're family? It's as if it's expected of us to continue providing support (not many have stepped up to the plate but we're still the bad guys...bunch of friggin hypocrites). Now no one talks to us.   Am I/ are we the assholes?
