Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : A little backstory: my fiancée and I have been together about 8 years. However, for the past year and a half, we have been doing long distance due to me getting experience in my field of discipline and her moving away to go to medical school. 
Back in the fall of last year, she started her second year of med school. She soon started letting the stress of school start to really affect her as I had found out she had started drinking heavily (she is now in AA). A few months later, I had found she was coping with the stress by smoking several packs of cigarettes everyday (she has always hated cigarette smoke). Even more recently while visiting her during the weekend, I noticed a paper towel in the trash can with quite a bit of blood on. When questioned about this, it was revealed to me that she had begun self-harming herself. She showed me her arm, and it looked like it had been cut a hundred times and was still bloody from where she had obviously done it that day. When asked who knew about this, she stated her doctor, a school counselor and two of her new friends (one of which has an extensive history of self-harm). 
After returning to my place following the weekend, I contacted the other friend since she had known longer than me about this and wanted to know what her perspective was on all of this (my opinion was that things couldn't keep spiraling out of control and that she seriously needed to take a break from med school because her health was the most important factor). What I was informed from the friend was that this was definitely the first she had heard of the self-harm and even smoking habits.... Even when my fiancée had told me that her friend's reaction was to cry when she found out (fiancée later says she got confused about who knew and thought that she had known....). 
Fast forward to now, this friend has decided to cut ties with my fiancée because she has said she has helped all that she can and that it is starting to affect her life. My fiancée says that I had absolutely no right to contact her friend to discuss this (I would have never told someone that did not already know) and that her doctor agrees that "I crossed a line" by reaching out to her friend. Am I the asshole for trying to talk to my fiancée’s (now past) friend regarding this new destructive habit?