Jim (30 M) and I (28M) and I have known eachother since we were kids. He’s struggled with his mental health over the years, and I’ve always tried to be understanding and helpful, make allowances, be there for him etc. Because of his MH being a little unstable, he has never been my go to person for support, but I am definitely his. We were best friends all through our teenage years and well into our twenties.

For context- Jim failed out of college due to his MH, whereas I graduated and got a job in tech. My company is currently paying for me to get my masters over the next two years. He works for a small business doing admin at a 9-5 job.  I work very long hours. To add to that, with the studying at the moment, I’m dead in the water, I have no free days, most hours in my day are preplanned and filled with work or general life admin. Jim seems to have a lot more time on his hands, and was always a “night in” kinda guy so spends most evenings / weekends with his girlfriend watching tv. I honestly wish I had that kind of leisure time right now.

Crux of the matter is, through a hectic schedule and lack of sleep I’ve slipped up a couple times with contact. Just a couple of phone calls, he’ll call for a catch up, I’ll be busy and tell him I’ll give him a call tomorrow, and then I forget.

He’s now sent me a very long letter, explaining that he feels my priorities in life are skewed, that I have no time for him, that my job and my degree aren’t an excuse and I should put more stock in the friendship, and respect his time a little more, as he’s been waiting around for me to call him and I then don’t. Had it been just that I’d have understood that he was a little frustrated and let it go.

He then goes on to call me a bad friend, to claim that our friendship has been very one sided for a long time, he doesn’t feel he knows me because the best friend he knows would never treat him like this.

This just feels...ridiculous to me. I’ve supported him through so much, never asking for anything in return, for years and years, and now I don’t have as much time on my hands, he seems to have forgotten everything I’ve ever done for him. Friends make allowances for eachother when the other is in a tough spot, and I’m struggling with stress and various other problems at the moment yet he seems to just want to make it about himself. 

I’m so hurt by his accusations, which I really think are unfounded. He questions my character. He seems incapable of sympathy for my work situation, in fact he seems to blame me for working a good job and wanting to better myself by getting my masters. I have honestly just hit a wall now where I can’t imagine being friends with him after this. Maybe it’s the stress I don’t know. Would I be the asshole to cut him out of my life?
