Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : First of all, sorry about formatting, I´m on mobile and English is not my first language. I also need to say that this will be long and full of family drama, but I know this sub has a pretty neutral enviroment to find answers, so here goes nothing.


To give you a little bit of context I´m a 22yo female, my cousin is a 40yo female too, I´ll call her L. My family is catholic and my mom comes from a large family (youngest of 7 siblings), but me and my problematic cousin are both single childs. Christmas has always been an important holiday. In Spain we usually reunite 5 days in total (Dec 24th, Dec 25th, Dec 31st, Jan 1st and Jan 6th) so it is a big thing. 


Last december we lost my aunt (L´s mother) to an agressive colon cancer and since then, everything has got worse. She is still living with her dad, my family has enabled her shitty attitude her entire life because she had “a difficult childhood” (she didn´t, she was raised by my mother until she was 13 because both her parents worked a lot, they made a shit tone of money, she had every single toy she wanted and all love and attention for being the little girl of the house. When she was a preteen his dad had an affair and as a result of that, he had another daughter… but my aunt decided to forgive him. That was her “difficult childhood”).

She has been this selfish, self absorved, manipulative, abusive piece of shit since I remember and that is why most of our family avoid her at all costs, she has to be the center of attention or there´ll be drama. Sadly, one of her enablers is my own mother and I don't even know what to do to open her eyes.

Some of her top tantrums are:


1. She is my godmother. When I was around 5 or 6 she came to my house screaming, I was a child so I didn´t know what was all of that about. She hit my mother and told her that I, a little kid, was a piece of shit and that I was dead for her. My mom had to threw her out of the house.

My mother´s response nowadays? “Oh come on thegoldennana, she was on medication, it was so hard for her, she didn´t mean it, you knows she loves you very much. I bet you would do the same”. For the context, her doctors said L was bipolar, but my family never accepted the diagnosis and changed the psiquiatrist. Now the enablers of my family say that she acted that way because of the medication.


2. She was violent and abusive towards her own mother, and towards her dad to this day. I remember her hitting my aunt in my own kitchen because she needed more money. One of my aunts (who hates her) told me some months ago that she stabed her own mother with a fork on the hand, my poor aunt was so embarassed to go to the ER because she didn´t want to press charges, I just want to cry about it because no one helped her because it was her “child”, a fucking grown woman.

I tell my mother that if my uncle was the one that hurt my poor aunt she would have called the police and would be making his life miserable, but since it was her beloved "child" she was enabling her. I feel disgusted about this, the hipocrisy kills me.


3. My poor aunt (L's mother) had breast cancer four years ago, luckily she survived. After all the chemo, L told her (during one of her MULTIPLE tantrums) that she deserved the illness and that it was such a shame that she didn´t die.


4. She has a cat. Poor cat has no toys because she doesn´t want to clean after he plays and she says she doesn-t have time to play with him, even though she doesn´t work because no job is good enough for her. My mother makes him homemade toys and beds and her father is the one that feeds hims and the one that cleans his box. One day one of her friends got her a puppy and the cat didn´t like it one bit. Nowadays the dog is ours, she left him here saying she would be back “tomorrow” but never came for him. Doggy is okay tho, he´ll be five next March.


5. The last string for me was summer 2017. We were at my house and I was having dinner alone because it was late.  L and her mother were in the kitchen finishing a coffee and my mom wanted to go to sleep because she was tired, so she told them to please leave. She lost her shit. She went to the bathroom and came back yelling her mother that we didn´t want them there and that they should leave and never come back because we were rude pieces of shit. My mom, the enabler, told her “L honey, I didn´t meant it that way, I´m just tired, my head is hurting and I need to sleep” and she grabbed her arm to try to calm her down, L pushed her and told her  “don´t touch me or I´m gonna rip your fucking head off”. I don´t even know what entered my body, I was shaking, I felt the rage through my veins… I went to the kitchen like I was on drugs and told her to don´t speak to my mother like that ever again because I would kill her. (I know it sounds cringy right now so sorry about that, but I saw red, I felt the need to defend my mother) She said “oh look at this badass over here” so I told her that she was a good for nothing 40yo piece of shit. She grasped and stormed through the door. Her mother was another enabler so she told me “hey thegoldennana, that was unnecessary, she isn´t 40 yet” and stormed behind her.

You wanna know what my mom did? She got mad at me for yelling at her, she told me that she had “everything under control” and that it was my fault things escalated… I wanted to cry. A couple of my aunts came home right after the incident because one of them lives on the 5th floor and we live in the 8th floor. They were having coffee too and heard the yelling. They reassured me and told my mother that she was in the wrong, but it didn´t matter. L NEVER said she was sorry, because she thinks everything she does is fine.


6. As I said before, my aunt died last December. She went to the ER on the 21st of september and never got out until they sent her home to die peacefully. My mother slept with her every single day until she died because her own daughter couldn´t be bodered to be by her side. She just wanted the car to spend money and go out with friends, so she visited her mom 5 minutes every other day. 

When they sent her home to die, all she wanted to drink was some kind of gas water that comes out of a natural fountain in a town 30 minuts drive from where we live. My aunt (the one who is not an enabler) gave her 50 euros and told her to please get gas and go a get the water for her mother. Hours went past and she didn´t go, her excuse? “oh I´m sorry, but I have to look after the economy of this family”. My aunt was so enraged she would have killed her in that moment. That water was the only thing her dying mother wanted to drink and she denied her that because she was a lazy piece of shit. Thankfully my uncle got her the water that night.

Days after, I was there, holding my aunt´s hand when she passed away. Her daughter was in the kitchen making the act of her life with a couple of friends.

A couple of days after was her funeral. When everything was done, the whole family decided to have lunch somewhere because it was late to start cooking. She threw a tantrum because she wanted to go to Lola´s (not the actual name of the restaurant). Not a single one of us could believe what she was asking for, that was the restaurant where we would go to celebrate things with my deceased aunt, I only have memories of that place with her and I can´t put a foot there almost a year later because I would sob uncontrolably. She got mad until one of my aunts (another enabler) went to Lola´s with her and her friends, and by the way, my aunt had to pay for everyones lunch.


7. Last Christmas were pure chaos, my mom told me to please go with them to my uncle´s house, because that was what my deceased aunt would have wanted, so silly me, I went. 

We got there about 8 pm to make dinner (this was on Dec 24th) and after telling me that my make up was hideous (if she isn´t the one doing your make up, then your make up is shit) it went downhill pretty fast. Everyone was doing something, we were helping each other with everything, except L of course. She was whining about being hungry and cold so we told her to help with something so she wouldn´t be that cold, but hes answer was “nah, I´m good, I don´t want to do anything“ so she kept on whining, making everyone late with her shitty facebook videos and making her father miserable telling him that he was a piece of shit for having a beer with a couple of friends (hipocrisy 100, because she was hungover) and talking shit about him having another daughter. Things got worst while we were having dinner. She likes to make childish and vulgar sexual jokes about everyone, so she said to my parents “hey uncle, i´m sure you love to lick your wife´s clam every night” out of fucking nowhere, because there was a gastronomic program about clams on the TV. I told her to shut up, that we were eating and that I didn´té have to think about what my parents did in private. She got pissed and told me that I should take a joke, so I told her that she wouldn´t like it if I said that about her parents and she said that it was not the same because her mom was dead, so she got mad again when I told her that every single person on that table was grieving the death of her mother and not only her. I went to my inlaws´s with my bf the rest of the holidays.


8. This summer karma got her, she broke her wrist. She had surgery but didn´t follow through with the exercises her doctor told her to do so she has to have surgery again. This is the perfect excuse for her to not getting a job. Now her plan is asking for government money. She already has a pay because of “fibromyalgia”, she chose that one because they don't know what causes it, so no one can prove she doesn´t have it. Are you getting what type of person she is?



9. A couple of weeks ago she was talking on the phone with my mom and t