Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : **Warning, this is really long winded**

I’ve known this guy for around 13 years, since we were in high school as he’s a year younger than I am (I’m 28). He’s never had a semi normal home life as his mom stole his identity at a young age and his dad is a royal asshole who used to beat him. Since knowing him we’ve always been close, just clicked and had similar interests and we even roomed together in college and got along just fine. We fell out of touch for a couple years as he stayed in the college town with his then gf and I moved back home but when they broke up, he moved back home too and in with his dad. Things were ok on that front for the first couple weeks and then shit hit the fan and they got into a fist fight so he got kicked out. My wife and I had just gotten married that year and after asking her, he moved in with us and lived with us for around 2 years. He started seeing a girl we went to high school with, knocked her up, married her, and they moved into an apartment together. *Disclaimer, I never really cared for the wife but never voiced that to him because he seemed genuinely happy with her*

We stayed super close, golfed more than any two non pros should, I was at the hospital when his wife gave birth, and even after his son was born we maintained the golf habit. During all this, he snagged a pretty damn good supervisor job at a local company working midnights and he seemed to like his job and I know he made good money doing it. 

With me being his best friend, I’ve never felt like I had to hide anything and I’ve been honest with him about my marriage, jobs, aspirations, and I felt like he did the same but something seemed off for a little while. Well one morning when he got off, he was greeted by his now ex wife’s dad and brother with 2 local officers. Ex wife claimed he beat her (I to this day don’t believe he ever touched her, he’s 6’5 and if he ever hit her she’d be in the hospital) and threatened her and was a drug addict (smoked weed and nothing more) so filed a protective order against him and moved out. He goes through a rough patch as you could imagine and I offer advice and guidance as best I could throughout this whole ordeal. He then ended up getting fired from that job and said “they were out to get him” and didn’t really know why he was fired (we live in a right to work state, no reason needed to fire an employee). I of course try to offer advice where I can again and he ends up getting another job, making less money but still a job none the less.

Between lawyer fees, being left all the rent and utilities, and making less money, he left the apartment and moved in with his cousin. During this time, my wife and I bought a different house and were expecting our first child so we moved out of our old house which was left to me and my sister when our father passed away and it was sitting empty as we fixed a few things up and attempted to sell it. After deliberation with my sister and our mother, we decided to let him rent it for a decent price so he could have his own place for him and his son and so we could make a little money per month since we still paying insurance, utilities, and property taxes. 

Fast forward about 3 months and he lands a great job making more than he’s ever made and I was legit happy and even a little envious of because he was making more than I do. It was at a steel mill and was union and as almost all manufacturing companies do, had a probationary period of 120 working days. He’s constantly telling me how much he loves the new job, he’s paying his bills off and wants to buy a new car, even talked about wanting to buy our house he was renting! 

Fast forward another 3 months, he’s made new work friends and is hanging out with them after his shifts and I got a vibe that something was off again, like he was getting into things he shouldn’t be. Starts going to bars and having sex with a bunch of tinder girls, whatever, he needs to do what he thinks he needs to and I never voiced any concerns because he was still being a great dad and just having fun like a normal kid twenty year old man would. Then I got a call from him about 5:30 in the morning before he needed to go to work, said his car got repossessed and doesn’t know why, they were supposed to take the payment out of his bank account and he wasn’t sure what happened but none the less, needed a ride to work. I oblige because I know that if you’re late or call off during the probationary period, they’ll more than likely fire you and I don’t want him to lose this job. On the ride up he’s calling his dad begging for money and saying he can’t lose his car because he’ll lose his job. I drop him off, told him I’d be back to pick him up after his shift ends. During his shift he gets his car thing figured out, once I picked him up I dropped him off at the bank and he got his car and we both went our own ways. 

Obviously he was blowing money and not paying his bills, although he was still paying us rent so all we knew was what he told us and I took his word for it. Then comes day 118 out of his 120 probationary period, he shows up to work and works a couple hours and then gets escorted off company ground and is terminated. He calls me distraught, once again doesn’t know why and everything was going so good, I try consoling him and he actually ends up getting another job the very next day making less money doing harder work. He then missed his rent payment and paid us 2 weeks late, no big deal really and did that for the next couple months until we finally sold the house and the buyer was keeping him as a renter. He only paid half of the rent because he jumped from that job to another and to another so he still owed us the other half and then when we closed, they took out half of rent for that month and he hadn’t paid that either so essentially owes us a whole months rent. 

He said the new landlord forgave the rest of that month because there were a few issues with the gas that was their fault and it happened to be Christmas so that worked out in his favor and being able to buy gifts. During all this he went to a payday loan place to try to make ends meet and put me down as a “reference” evidently without asking me first. He met this new girl in the midst of all this and knocked her up and was just so excited! It just happen to be right after I told him that my wife and I are going to have another child and his kinda felt forced, but whatever, still wasn’t proud of him and then he started talking about marrying her and having a family together and how happy he was. She ends up getting cold feet and leaving with her 8 month old baby from a one night stand to live with her grandparents and gets an abortion. He’s devastated, doesn’t know what happened, they were so happy together and they were going to have a big nice family and he loved that 8 month old like his own 3 year old son. *Insert eye roll that you can see repressed memories with here*

I voice my opinion, my very very honest opinion, tell him exactly how I felt about the whole situation and about him losing 2 jobs that were lifetime jobs within a year of one another. Told him I didn’t care for the 20 year old gf, that she seemed super immature and doesn’t have a good track record of decision making and he needed to focus on himself and his son and not worry about her. Then I get a call from the new landlord asking when he paid us rent, whether it was on the 1st or 15th, and I told her the 1st since that’s when it was. Turns out he lied to her and said it was the 15th and hadn’t paid her yet. He doesn’t mention any of this to me and I don’t to him either and everything seemed ok. He was working, seemed to be getting over this girl and I hadn’t heard anything more from the new landlord. 

Now we’re to last week and he calls me, says he’s being evicted and doesn’t know why. Turns out new landlord didn’t tell him not to pay the rest of December’s rent and he still hadn’t paid it or January’s rent, but he insisted it was just January he was behind on. Then on Facebook, he puts he’s in a relationship with 20 year old girl again and then he texts me saying new landlord is “fucking with him on purpose” and he’s tried to pay her what he can afford and she won’t accept it, mind you she kept the rent at what we charged him which was VERY reasonable. 

Finally, the AITA moment has arrived! Lol

I call him out on all his bullshit. Told him I’ve talked to new landlord and know he’s behind more than he lets me believe and that he needs to get his shit together or else he’s going to get his sons visitation taken away. Told him exactly how I felt about the gf and how in my opinion she wasn’t good for him, that he needed to get far away from her and focus on himself and his son. I said he needs to get his finances in order because not only did he go through the car repo thing but now he’s being evicted and in the mean time I’ve been getting calls from the payday loan place asking if I can have him call them, plus he still owes us money for rent! I was far from big brother as you could be, I came down on him hard and told him how it is and that he needs to grow up. 

I’ve since been deleted off all social media accounts by him and the gf and he never responded to any of my texts, am I the asshole for this?

I love the kid like he’s my brother, I have ALWAYS been there for him and have tried to give him the best advice I could. How he’s reacting really makes me upset on one hand because of how close we are and what we’ve been through, but on the other hand I almost feel relieved because I truly believe people that are always down and negative drag all those around them down and I don’t want to be caught in that trap. 

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