Okay, long story folks. They'll be a tl:dr at the end. Sorry for formatting, on mobile. 


   So here's some backstory, I (16m) come from a lower-middle class family in a suburban neighbourhood, but I am not exactly privileged when it comes to my family situation. I was a mistake child, as well as my brother (18m), and we were born into a family with a submissive pushover mother(50f) (she most likely has Stockholm Syndrome)  and an physically and mentally abusive father(55m).


   I won't go into all the details about what me, my brother, and my mother have gone through, but here is the jist: Choking, beating, spanking (with fists), kicking, slamming against walls, getting punished to get at my mom, slamming glass, purposely keeping us up at night with loud music, burning our favourite toys, chasing me around with a needle... You get it, I don't have a very good father.

    Furthermore, my mother earns more than my dad as a manager, yet does all the work around the house (laundry, cooking, cleaning, filling up gas in the cars, literally every chore). Yet, my dad works in labour, does jackshit around the house, and claims that he is the only one holding the family together.

   So flashback almost exactly a year from now. I woke up at around 6am on the living room couch to my father yelling at my mother, and this was normal. So I got up, and I stood at the kitchen door kinda just watching them argue and yell at each other. Well, my mom starts walking down the hallway to their bedroom to pack her stuff and leave for her parents house. This is when my dad came up behind her and started trying to strangle her on their bed. She was on her back, and he was on top with his hands around her neck.

   At that moment, after years of submission and built up anger against my "father" I broke, and went into a fullsprint jumping on to his back and began pounding his head in with my fist. I got a good 20 full force hits, and if it wasn't for my mom ripping me off of him I would've gouged his eyes out. After that, he realised "oh shit I really fucked up" and began saying how much he loves all of us and how he couldn't believe I'd do that to him, y'know, the standard narcissistic thing. Me, my mother, and my father were pretty much arguing about how awful of a person he is. I reminded him of all the awful things he has done and he would deny literally every. Single. Instance.

   After a few days of tension, nothing really happened, but I decided to go into no-contract with him and no longer address him as my father, but by his name. He knew how I felt about him, I called him all the names he called us when we were kids right to his face (garbage waste of space, cunt, etc.) And going back to the beating, I rushed him so hard that when I kneed him in his back I broke a rib, and he was too embarrassed to go to the hospital. I hurt him so badly I caused him to lose his job and basically become disabled as he spends literally every waking hour in his bed playing World Of Warcraft in his bedroom. So that went quite well for a few months, until he, and my mother, began demanded that I give him respect.

   They have (and still do) have this rule where I have to say goodnight and goodmorning everytime I wake up/go to bed. I didn't want to, or needed to talk to my father for obvious reasons. This pissed him off, because requoting him through my mother it "made him feel like he was a piece of shit in the corner" Which is funny, because that's exactly what he is. They threatened to punish me, and tried to force me to apologize to him. Fuck. That.

   So after a few months of tension, my father gets pissed off at me for a irrelevant reason and we get into an argument. He bagan threatening me with violence, calling me a libtard, and said he was proud of choking my mother to the point of blacking out. I actually threatened him back, and he backed off. He realised he can't take on his 6'4 slightly muscular teenage son when he is at grandpa age and has troubles getting up to use the washroom. After he ranted for a bit more about the gays, libtards, and women that was the end of that ordeal. And since then I've continued to do the same, no contact. My only form of communication has been through him bitching about me to my mother.

   Fast forward to today, and he is getting moody again. He wants me to say goodmorning/goodnight everyday. And I refuse. Here is the thing, my mother and my brother on his side. They say that he has "changed" in this past year, even after the decades of abuse. They say that I need to learn to forgive, and not be "stuck up" to my dad. I on the other hand want to go down with dignity when I get kicked out the day I turn 18, I want to make him feel like what he is. A piece of shit in the corner.


Tl:Dr - abused physically and mentally by father, father strangles mother, and I beat the shit out of my dad causing him to lose his job. I go into no contact with him, refuse to call him my father, and refuse to give him any respect. My family is against me saying I'm taking it too far.

I'll provide more information if you really think you need it to decide if I'm in the right or wrong here. So,

Am I the asshole? 