Hey people. Some background, me and my twin brother are in our early 20's. We are both very close, and we live together with three other people (I guess four including his girlfriend). As I said we, are very close and care about each other greatly.


Him and his girlfriend have been together for a little over a year. Over the year, they've gotten very serious and as he's told me, they actively plan their future together. I'm really happy for him. This is his first healthy relationship and they both work well together (from what I can tell). His mental health has improved since they've been together.


We used to live in seperate apartments in  the same city, but in September we moved in together with a few others. I was really excited for this. We both make music and I was really excited to start going to shows with him more, and work on music together so we can also play more shows together. Music is something thats really important to both of us.



But ever since we've moved in, his girlfriend has been over every day and night. If she's not at work she's here. 


As I said, I am really happy for him. But all of his time is spent with her. And I honestly feel sort of replaced. And I feel like a total asshole for feeling this way, but I can't help it. We don't do anything together anymore, only at the end of the night when his gf has gone to bed we'll play video games or watch something on TV, but we don't go to shows or make music together. I guess my expectations were too high before we moved in.



I've been really depressed the past couple months. I got my depression under control in late 2017 when I got on some meds that finally worked for me. It's been something I've struggled with my entire life. It can, and has been the past couple months, pretty debilitating. I recklessly got off my meds a couple months ago which is why this has been going on, I just got back on them last week.


I'm not saying I've been depressed because of my brother, but its one of the things that has been bothering me a lot. Among a whole load of others feeling, it's just one of them thats been on the forefront. 


I feel like a big asshole because I dont dislike his girlfriend, I like her. She's great for him. I just cant help but not want to spend any time with them. There are some shows coming up that I wanted to go to with my brother, but she's coming too. And I just dont want to go to them now. I know it's really important to him that his girlfriend becomes intergrated into his life, he does say its a serious relationship, so I feel like a jerk when these feelings come up. But I cant help it. I just feel bad.



I havent brought it up with him because I know it will make him upset. I have brought up the fact he doesnt spend time with me anymore, but I havent had the heart to bring all of this up. I know it would make him feel very bad because I know it's very important to him that me and his gf get along (its not like we dont.. I dont know) and are friends. I know he wishes talked to her more.  Because we are the two most important people in his life. Thats why i've been reluctant to bring this up.


Am i an asshole? I've been struggling with this for awhile. And I can't figure out my emotions being so depressed these days.  I know this is life. And I can't always be at the forefront of his life, but i cant even get a day in, or a night out with just him. 