So this is probably gonna be a super petty post, and I apologize for that, it is such a stupid situation. 

I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 20 and we've been together for about 6 months.   
We met in the community for a shooter we both play.   
We spend every weekend together.   


My boyfriend is one of the best players in the regio and he plays ESL and leagues and doing really well and I'm super proud. Myself, I'm a streamer and well known in this community. This is causing my boyfriend to be a bit jealous and I get that. Most of the times we're playing I'll be streaming and having a good time with the audience.    
I'm dealing with some issues. I have CPTSD, anxiety and depression due to a very bad childhood and almost being murdered. I'm been being helped for this, but I still struggle with it. It causes me to be very scared of doing things wrong, being forgotten about, and a lot more. My boyfriend knows this and tries to understand. 

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Now, we used to play every evening. And it was always great fun. But lately he's been getting cranky every time we play. Then he leaves and goes to join other people (who he say play way worse than me) and goes to laugh and behave fun. It's come to the point where he'll go play with others and not even ask me to play. I feel like I'm second choice, like he doesn't want to play with me and I don't get why he's cranky with me but fun with others. To add to this, he's a bad texter, he'll send me one word replies and I don't expect him to constantly message me. But when he's playing he'll pretty much stops texting at all. Which again, I get. It just feels like I'm being a burden. 

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I try to talk to him about this, explain that he's making me feel like I'm the second choice. But when we're together in real life, he'll be all over me. He keeps saying he wants us and he's showing that he does when it comes to love. It's just online that's awful.   


I already said we should probably stop playing together or talking to eachother online but this is just causing me so much anxiety. But he's saying we should be able to do things together and he doesn't think it'll work between us if we don't game. 

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We're young as hell and I know this is such a stupid situation, but I'm trying to get some thoughts from other people and see what I can change.

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