Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I've created a throaway account for this question. Also sorry if I make any mistakes, English isn't my first language.  


So, a little bit of info about me: I grew up in a rural area where most of the people are rather conservative and whatnot. As a young kid / teenager it wasn't very easy for me to make friends and get along with other people cause I'm gay and also not exactly the "manliest" guy out there. People would always joke about the way I speak and act and I was often referred to as a sissy and a fag, which took a huge toll on my self-esteem and made me super cautious about the way I come off to others. After graduating and moving to a bigger city (I'm at university now) my situation has improved a lot cause I was able to meet other gay people, get active in the community and just surround myself with peers who are less judgemental in general. I feel a whole lot better about myself now!

  
Now on to my problem:

Last weekend, a straight friend of mine (we aren't super close but we get along fine and hang out sometimes) asked me if I wanted to come to his place to hang out with him and his friends (also all straight). I said "Yeah, sure" and looked forward to a nice evening. Me and his friends actually got along really well at first and there were no problems until one of them (I don't remember the exact context, I think they were talking about how a friend of them reacted to a certain situation) said "Man, that is just the gayest and most pathetic shit ever". After saying that, he immediately looked over to me, started laughing and said "Oh don't worry, I didn't mean it like *that*". I said that I don't appreciate him using the word in that context and he apologized. Since I still felt really uncomfortable from that point on and got a lot of flashbacks to my teenage years when people were unnecessarily homophobic in my presence, I thought it'd be better to just leave. My friend was a bit surprised and asked if it's because of the remark his friend made, which I affirmed. He said he'd really appreciate it if I stayed and that his friend meant no harm whatsoever, but like I said, I just felt uncomfortable and wanted to get out of there. On my way out, his friend who made the remark actually went after me and apologized again, saying he didn't intend to hurt me and that it wouldn't happen again. I thanked him for apologizing but left anyway.

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The next day my friend texted me and told me that I completely overreacted and shouldn't have just left like that. I replied "After growing up in a really homophobic and close-minded town, I just don't feel like I need to spend time with people who talk like that anymore.". I also criticized him for not saying anything to his friend (I didn't expect him to throw a scene or anything, a simple "Don't say stuff like that" would have sufficed), to which he replied "Why would I? He wasn't *actually* being homophobic, he just used a slang word". The convo went on for a bit longer and ended with him saying "Your future life will be really stressful if you're just gonna throw a fit and run away whenever someone says a word you don't like".

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I asked my other friends (who are all part of the LGBT community) and they agreed that his friend was being an asshole, but my friend told me that his other friends also agreed I overreacted.  
I just feel really torn right now. On one hand, his friend apologized two times (although the first one didn't seem very sincere, he only realized he had truly fucked up after I got ready to leave) so maybe I should have just gotten over it and stayed. On the other hand, people talking like that just makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable (because of the homophobic people I had to deal with during my youth) and I also feel like my friend could have been a bit more supportive.

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What do you guys think?