Is EVERYBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Starting off I just want to say sorry in advance for how "sorry for myself" I seem. I'm a 15 year old teenage boy with no discernable qualities that spends his time playing video games, watching movies/TV and avoiding human contact. I have a good few friends but at times I just feel like I'm the annoying one they keep around out of sympathy. Occasionally even they become tired of my shit and tell me to fuck off and I'm normally the butt of all their jokes. My issue is that I was bullied for several years in school and sort of still am and thus I am naturally distrusting and cynical of others. I drive away people that try to talk to me and sometimes even hurt their feelings in the process. Afterwards I go through periods of self-loathing and promise to get better and yet I never do, in a few days I'm back to my normal asshole self again.

Today two sort of friends were having what I suppose is a fight (not physically or anything as it was in an online group chat) and I somehow made it my business and joined in. I had good intentions but I know afterwards I should have let them figure it out on their own. I started trying to help by getting to the bottom of how it started but was constantly met with "shut up" or "who asked you". Afterwards I got angry and started telling them to sort it out privately or fuck off. This is when I learned that the whole thing was just a stupid prank to see if I would barge my way in to their issues and make them my own. I ended up feeling embarrassed but then realised that it was ultimately my fault for barging in despite it being a group chat. Then I promised once more that I would get better and be less cynical but I can already tell it's not going to last.

I want to change. I really do. But I don't how I can. And I need your help. 