This hasn’t been discussed with my best friend just yet (if someone could suggest a “Will I Be An Asshole If” that would be great) but here it goes. And I guess it’s possible IATA if I’m already thinking it.

TL;DR- Constantly clingy friend has been smothering me. Contemplated telling her to stop it. While brainstorming points and considering factors on how to break this news in the most frank but sensitive way, clingy friend calls immediately to tell me she’s pregnant. Keeps saying things over and over again how I need to be there, guide her, and without context.

Full version:

My best friend has been awfully clingy lately. So much I’ve gone out of my way to do favors for her, do whatever she wants, etc. She is grateful for the time spent and sometimes makes up for it by buying a gift as a token of appreciation but I’m usually wiped out before she asks for favors the next day. She’ll often point out how much I do for her too or tell others how I’d practically die for her. It’s strange..

My best friend will call me sometimes in the middle of the work week and ask if I have plans over the weekend. I love the advanced notice instead of springing news on me within 30 min. Before something’s happening; but because I feel smothered as it is I’m either trying to find an excuse to get out of a pre-invite, be stupidly honest and say nothing to where then she excitedly makes a schedule for US, or I tell her we actually do have plans with family or friends.
But it never fails.. the weekend rolls around and my phone will ding me at least three times a day “What are you up to now?” “Is your family gone?” “Are you home now from the movies?” “Can I come over and show my husband your new guest room?” “Okay then but can you come over instead perhaps, like, immediately?”
My husband is starting to find this behavior annoying and he shakes his head in disappointment at me if I can’t bare to firmly say, ‘No’ because I’m nervous to hurt her feelings or have a big blow up over it as we have had before 6 years ago.... calling me a bad friend because I never go out of my way to invite her over or do stuff. I just hope things are different now.

After some Reddit advice and consideration, I start to brainstorm how to tell my friend I need space. That I love her, and will always be, but I feel sick. And sometimes my feelings are important and I need time alone to recharge, including the stressful texts. I try to ease my mind and settle down by doing some laundry when my phone blows up again. She’s calling.

I answer it and think she’s hurt because she’s frantic and crying. Instead, she’s just announced she is pregnant. I’m honestly a little floored but still congratulate her and tell her it’s okay to cry and have mixed emotions as it’s a big thing. Before she can hang up to go tell her husband as he’s walking in the door, she cuts me off, “PROMISE ME YOULL BE THERE.” I answer “Sure.” Not really know what the heck that means. She says it again, “No, I’m serious. I need to know if you’re fully invested in this because I can’t do this alone. Promise me you’ll be there and stick through this, on my side—gotta go!” And hangs up.

What does that even mean?...

She texts me five minutes later, “Come over right now?”

I say no. I can’t. (A lie, although I am doing my bedding and it’s 7pm, I haven’t had dinner yet)

She texts me back, “What can I eat?”

I respond, “Y’know... Considering your pregnant now you’re really going to have to do some research on x , y , z and know for yourself what you may like, the baby won’t. Stay away from the most commonly known bad food for pregnancies (caffeine, liquor, fish with high mercury, etc).”

She’s texted me back an hour later, “You swear you’ll help me right? Im panicking. I need you.”

But help with what?!? I’m not a professional, a doctor, an OBGYN, a nutritionist, a trainer, I’m not her husband, her mom, her doula, nor will I pay money to buy things as I have my own finances to worry about and I have to save up. (She’s seen things at stores and randomly asks me to buy them for her, even before pregnancy).  It’s not like I don’t have a choice as I’m not the one who’s pregnant and it’s not my kid/responsibility.

So reddit, before this goes down possibly horribly because I don’t know how she’ll react, AITA for not wanting to be there 100% of the time she’s pregnant or needs my help—or whatever it is she means? I have a life too.
(I’m sure in our discussion I will ask her to specify her needs and what I can and cannot do for her.)
I can assure you I will tell her I still love her.. and remain good friends.. but I can’t hold her hand the whole way. I don’t have kids and don’t want any still for a few more years. I am the last of my girl friends to ever conceive and I’ve been useful and helpful in ways but not there all the time.