This backstory is going to be important:

I was born to a substance dependent mother so I had to be raised by a grandparent. Said grandparent is a nice person but is overprotective. Grandparent was in abusive marriage but never left the abuser due to financial reasons. The abuser eventually died due to health complications. Because children were also reared in abusive environment, children have cut ties with grandparent. This is likely due to the fact grandparent denies what has happened in the past. 

&amp;#x200B;

Fast forward to 2014: I finish my undergrad degree. I tell grandparent (custodial parent) I did not want a party, just money or going out to dinner. What does grandparent do? Throw a $4,000 party anyway. The party was more for her because she feels like a failure as a parent (see substance dependent mother). I can feel sympathy for her there. 

&amp;#x200B;

Fast forward to 2019: I will finish my MA. I tell grandparent I do not want to attend the ceremony because I do not want to pay $80.00 to wear a robe for two hours. We can go to dinner. She is now upset...again. Should I suck it up? AITA?