Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I was dating a person for five weeks and it was going great.  There was one time where I mentioned how I thought it was odd he wanted to know all these details about me.  He was wanting to know all the details like what I ate, where I was, he would carry out a topic in great detail like what a book was about that I was reading, etc.  I enjoyed talking to him, but it made me a little uncomfortable.  So I brought it up and he was pretty direct that it's just a personality difference and that I didn't need to worry, "it's not like I want to *be* you." So I passed over it.

Then a couple weeks later my work was really suffering, it felt too intense, we were talking too much every day (he would do most of the initiating but I was still complicit.). So I gently said that we needed to tone things down a little, that my work was suffering, and I wanted to be able to process things better.  He said he understood but gave the impression that I meant flat out stop talking for a while, so he emphasized how much he liked me.  He even said that if I distanced myself from him that he would be very lonely.  Exact words.  

I clarified for him that this need to tone stuff down wasn't a reflection of me losing interest.  He kept acting like he understood, but would say strange things like, "if things work out without constant contact then fucking awesome and yay!"

These things made me slightly uncomfortable, but I still had strong feelings and didn't pay great attention to it.  Even the very next morning he was wanting us to schedule our next visit a week in advance.  I noticed he wasn't responding well to my proposition but ignored it nonetheless.

Till that same night....

I admit, my emotions went haywire, but I started thinking about the constant contact, I started thinking about how he seemed to start acting strange/manipulative when I proposed toning things down....at this point I may have gotten paranoid and remembered manipulation elsewhere in my life history....and so I texted him asking about the way he reacted to my new boundary...I did it very gently, admitting that I could have been reading too much into it.  He seemed to avoid the topic, or not really face it.  So I gently pressed it again.

He said I was misunderstanding all of it, that he understands, that he's "not some weak, fragile being....(he) can love but he can also cut a bitch out" and that he doesn't build his being on me and that if others did in the past that that's not the way he is.

For some reason, he really changed in my mind after those comments, but I kept on trying to be peaceful about it.  It felt vindictive, it felt like invulnerability.  But maybe I was in the wrong to press the issue, to think it meant anything bad, maybe his anger was warranted.
