Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : First off I love my grandma (maternal), but she’s a very self conscious person and that has been getting in the way of our relationship. 

A little back story, we used to be really close, like talking for hours on the phone multiple times a week. But when I started growing up, when I came out, and when I started dating my now wife. She started to pull away and tell me that I didn’t have time for her anymore and I don’t think about her or care about her. 

Fast forward to a couple days ago. The whole “poor me, my family doesn’t love me enough to see me for the holidays” schtick is getting old and has been used for a lot of holidays on not only me, but my mom and my younger sister as well. I try to split my holidays up so I saw this grandma for thanksgiving and was going to spend Christmas with my paternal grandma

Maternal grandma does NOT like paternal grandma, and has held thing grudge against her for as long as I’ve been alive, because maternal grandma didn’t want to help my mom take care of me when I was little and paternal grandma stepped in because she was a stay at home grandma, and maternal grandma thinks that p. Gma stole me from her. I don’t know

So I receive a call from maternal grandma asking what my plans are for Christmas. I said “Christmas Eve I’ll be at paternal grandmas and Christmas Day we’re going to be with the wife’s family.” She shut down and was like “oh, well maybe we can meet before hand to exchange gifts” and I of course agreed and we said we would plan it later 

I then get a call from my sister that m. grandma is pissed at her because my sister’s not coming for Christmas. My sister has her future in laws and her fiancée coming in from Sweden and actually called to find out about meeting m. grandma for Christmas because she has extra people coming and wanted to make sure that we had the room and that she wasn’t burdening anyone with the extra company 

My mom was also supposed to come into town from Jersey, but had to cancel due to costs. 

So my m. Grandma is pissed at all of us, for not caring about her enough to make plans, thinking of her and how she would feel, and hurting her so much. She’s done this for multiple years and we’re all getting tired of it and it makes us not even want to see her. So am I the asshole for not planning anything with her?