I (F22) have a friend (M21) who is extremely Christian. He is conservative and proud of his American South heritage. I’m the opposite and this is not a big deal for me, but this is important later. He is strong to the point that he’s cocky about it. He has a lot of personal issues that people call him out on, and this has caused his friends to realize that he cannot accept that he is wrong. However, he is still a pretty good person.

I am not strong and I don’t know what would happen if I was in a threatening physical situation. I was also raised near NYC. My father was a police officer and has always told me that, for my own safety, I should never engage with anyone on the street. You never know what might happen. Last year, I was in a situation with my male friend and my boyfriend that involved a homeless person approaching us and targeting me. He started cursing at me and the situation could have gotten physical had my boyfriend not driven away. After we were safe, I told them that this is why we should not engage with homeless people. I get that not all of them are dangerous, but I do not want to be involved as I am scared of what might happen. My boyfriend agreed with me and respects my wishes. My friend, however, laughed and said that he’s going to do whatever he wants if I’m there or not.

Flash forward a few months. Said friend and I go on a class trip to a city in Europe. While we are there, he insists on engaging with every single homeless person he meets. He even goes to ATMs to withdraw money, exchanges information with them, and does whatever they ask. I told him that this made me uncomfortable, and he told me that I should just keep walking by myself if I didn’t want to do that with him.

I told him that I’m concerned for his safety as well as my own; we’re in a foreign country and we have no means of defending ourselves. It’s one thing if we’re home, but this doesn’t seem safe. He claims that he can defend himself and that it’s his duty as a Christian to give to every homeless person. He claims that he has never had a bad experience, so nothing could happen with these people. He also implied that I am not a good Christian because of this. It got so bad that one of the people he gave money to saw him on a street again, called him out by his first name, and asked for even more.

I am not against helping the homeless, but you can’t know what might happen. This is why I do not engage with anyone I encounter. I’d rather be safe and help by volunteering at a shelter. I’m not asking him to stop, but if we’re hanging out and I can’t leave, I would prefer if he did not do it because I do not feel safe. We’ve been in situations where this has backfired, but he simply does not listen. I’m guessing that some people are just going to tell me to leave the situation when he does this, but in most cases I am unable to do so. I also don’t want to just not hang out with him, as this does not happen often and he’s still my friend. AITA?