Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : This is a story that spans almost a decade. Very long story, but the TL;DR Is still there if you want it. I strongly advise against it though.

A long time ago I met a girl (let's call her D) in a Facebook group chat, we clicked and we became best friends, chatting everyday.
Basically, both of us were in love with each other but were too scared to make the first move. So she ended up with another guy, probably to make me jealous.
After almost a year of supposed friendzone agony, they broke up and a mutual friend told me I should tell her that I like her (he knew she liked me).
I took the leap and actually bought a ticket to travel where she lives. I spent 5 days in her grandparents' house, I was 15 so I had to go with my mother.
In the end we kissed, I said goodbye and I told her that next time she will come where I live.

After almost one year she buys the ticket and I tell her that she can no longer come (my family told me at the last minute that could not afford to have a guest).
I don't remember much after that. I just know that somehow we didn't talk anymore as time went by and I got a girlfriend.

After a couple of years she managed to find me on Facebook again (I had deleted my profile because I need to take a break from it) and she texted me asking me how I was doing. I was so happy to have found her again but because of my jealous girlfriend I had to be VERY cold and insensitive. D's last text was "Don't vanish!"... I did not answer.


This was the last time I heard from her for 4 years.


2 years later me and my gf broke up.

I found D on Instagram.
I said hello.
I knew there was something wrong.
She was SO angry, cold, I could immediately tell.

I tried to apologize as best as I could. Multiple times. She always responded with stuff like "It's in the past now, don't worry."

Yesterday I told her all the truth, explaining why I did what I did. She told me that when she bought the ticket she tried to get a refund but she didn't get it, it was pretty expensive. I feel like garbage for what I did even if I was just a child. She appreciated the honesty though.

In the end I asked her to know only if I still mattered something to her or I was just "a thing in the past".
She told me that even though she felt like shit because of me, I still do matter "something".
Yet I know she hates me, she is very cold and distant. 

I am very sad right now. Maybe I still love her, maybe I don't. I am sure I still care for our relationship and it's breaking my heart.

Why, after a these apologies and miserable honesty, does she treat me like I am so irrelevant? 

TL;DR: I was a big asshole to a girl in the past. Now I said sorry and she still hates me.

Wether I am asshole or not, is there anything I can do to fix this? 