Me and my partner have been lazy, unmotivated and unemployed for our entire adult lives. 

I feel myself rotting away. 

Today I told him I'm try and better myself. I mean business. I've already quit drinking and smoking and I plan on getting a part time job to make ends meet. 

He didn't seem so interested so I said "If in the long run you don't make an effort too, I probably won't be happy." 

Just from our past, things we say don't normally happen because once again we've always been lazy and unmotivated. 

We rely a lot of our close family and it honestly makes me feel like a leech. I'm sick of it. 

He said that what I said was an ultimatum and its manipulative but I don't see it that way and I'm starting to question myself. 

I meant it in the way that if I end up being the only provider and I run around after him and he doesn't make an effort, I'll be upset. Thats a genuine concern of mine, so I said it. Then it blew up and I was being manipulative? 

I'm really genuinely unsure if I was being a dick or what. Was I too forward? I'm trying to be adult and get better and admit my faults but in this case, I genuinely don't understand where I've gone wrong.

So Reddit, am I an asshole? 


P.s - throw away to hide identity 