First post, might get a little longer (sorry), tl;dr at the end.

This happened yesterday and I am really stressed out by it, I will discuss it with my friends but I guess I'd like to have some opinions from uninvolved people first.

&amp;#x200B;

A little backstory first:

Yesterday was the funeral of the grandmother of a friend of mine. She hated her because her whole life, the grandma was rude and mean to her, she was a real bitch. So my friend wasn't sad but still stressed cause the whole situation was confusing, obviously.

I offered for her to come over to my place after the funeral, I have the nicest and cuddliest cats living with me to give comfort and would have cooked for her. These were the original plans for yesterday (Friday).

The other part of the backstory is that I've started dating a guy living 1.5 hrs away from me (I will call him date). It's not that much but we kind of rely on seeing each other on weekends because we both work. It's no big deal but as it's still fresh and we like each other a lot (I've never been with a sweeter and kinder human being) we kind of want to see each other once a week. 

In my mind it would have worked out to have my friend over, be there for her and then meeting date around 9, maybe even have a drink all together (my friends haven't met him yet).

Now, I realized in advance that this arrangement might contain potential conflict and actually felt a little bit like a snitch for absolutely wanting to see date (I have seen him last weekend and will see him next), but I also had a bad week (toothache since Monday turning me into a cranky baby, long days at work for parent meetings-I'm a teacher-other work that needed to be finished) and really just wanted the calming presence of date.

Yesterday morning, friend texted me very happily her results of her bachelor exam which were absolutely great, so she said she feels very happy and confident now and wanted to go drinking in the evening. so we agreed to go to a bar. I also let her know that I won't be staying late and as well as won't be drinking a lot because of my mofos of teeth and that date will be there too.

In advance, I didn't want to pressure her into giving me exact info about when (or if) she would come to me, I just let her know that she can text me once the gathering after the funeral is over and tell me what she wants to do. This also meant that I just organized my day as if I didn't have any plans because there was a lot to be finished. I still had to submit something to a prof of mine (I am also at uni) and Friday is cleaning day. I actually wanted to go to the gym but in the end I didn't have time anymore and skipped that.

At 6pm friend wrote in a group chat that she's heading home now and will be ready for us to come over if we wanted before going to the bar to celebrate her bachelor. At this time I was home, cutting fruit to make juice because it started to rot and I hate throwing away food. I still needed to shower so in the end it became clear that I wouldn't make it to her before date arrived and we'd just meet in the bar (actually agreed with date that he'd come to the bar on his own and I will be with friends first).

So in the end I went to pick up date at the station and it was nice to see him, I was happy, we were at the bar first and had good talks.

Entry friends (original friend and other friend, they had gotten really close in the last few months): they were both looking super nice (I didn't dress up or put on make up at all; I am including this to say that from the first second on it was like two groups - party mode and casually sipping a drink mode), came to our place and said hi. 

Now a lot of stuff happened between the lines but I felt like they were subtly aggressive towards date or basically the two of us, made stupid remarks about us dating (we never make out in public and opened up the conversation as soon as they arrived so us being in "date mode" shouldn't have been an issue).

Some examples:

* leaving us going to talk to another guy, coming back telling us "X said he'll be coming to crash your date soon"
* said guy would later walk past me and elbow me in the ribs - coincidence?
* making fun of me because I told them I saved two chairs next to us (they were standing a little awkwardly behind us).
* just being hyped up and saying weird, uncomfortable things

When they left to smoke a cigarette, date asked why they didn't like him, that he doesn't understand what's wrong, which broke my heart and as I felt really shitty too I decided to leave. I asked him if this was ok, he didn't want to take me away from my friends but I made clear that I didn't want to be with them at the moment because they (in my view) were assholes, so we said goodbye, they reacted, what a surprise, with a snappy look, and we left.

We later went to another bar and I started crying because I was so stressed out, I felt responsible for this whole shit. Then later back home I cried again when I told my flatmate and today I had a near panic attack because I was scared he might leave me. I know this is stupid and I don't really think he would but I really like him and I think this could be a longterm thing so I want my friends to get along with him and I want him to feel welcome. 

To be clear: 

I think the shitty part on my side was double booking my evening. 

I don't feel especially bad for only being ready at 9 for I don't see the point of waiting around a whole day to be ready when someone else is.

I feel bad for telling my friend I'd be there and then not be there for her.

I will talk to both of them, that's why I wrote down all of this, to get some different perspectives on what happened and to better plan what I'm gonna say/to prepare myself mentally.

I hope this doesn't come off as validation seeking for it's not meant to be and I am sure that some of you will think IATA.

Am I?

&amp;#x200B;

tl;dr: Told a friend I'd be there for her in a difficult situation, ended up only seeing her in a bar with other friends and my date, they were hostile towards me and date so we fled the scene early.