Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Last year, me and my best friend of a few years (who i will call James) drifted apart significantly. I wasn't particularly upset at all once I noticed; this had happened several times previously with other friends, and I understand that it is natural. A new person (who I will call Amy) joined our friend group. I introduced my friends to her -- if that is of any importance --  and James became closer to Katie (keep in mind that their are no romantic feelings between us, except that he told me he liked me in the beginning of our friendship, and asked me out. I said no. James says he has gotten over it). 

Although he became closer to her than he was with me, I am now closer to her than James is. She admits this fact, and she is one to be brutally honest about those types of things, so I'm taking her word for it. Amy has (without getting too deep into it) several types of mental disorders, including anxiety and depression. She also has suffering physical health, as she has an iron deficiency and frequent knee pains despite our young age. She is constantly self-deprecating, as most of our friend group is. 

James is over-protective of Amy. If she ever makes any doubtful comment about herself, James will spends minutes ranting about how she shouldn't put herself down and how wonderful she is. Sometimes he shows signs of aggression in tone of voice when he rants. IMO, it is fairly creepy, and Amy shares this sentiment. I do not know if the strong feelings James has towards Amy are romantic (though I know a relationship between them would be imps James has been unnecessarily rude and hateful towards me the past few months. He has made comments about my appearence, my personality, and other aspects of my life I am not comfortable sharing. He later claimed these remarks as jokes, but I am firm that in the context and the way he said them that they were fully intended. James knows that I am moderately insecure, and yet he still does this. 

For example, our friend group has weekly get-togethers where we can hang out and just discuss things. At a recent one, another one of our friends seemed upset. All of us told her that if she wants to talk about what had made her upset, she can, but she doesn't have to. When James told her this, he said, "You can talk to all of us about anything, except [my name], because she'll just joke about it." He said this in a completely serious tone of voice, and even some of the other's (including the friend he was talking to) looked at him in awe, also surprised he said something like that. Throughout the remainder of the day, he constantly shit on me for seemingly no reason. The fact that someone who I was once very close with -- and someone who knew my insecurities in detail -- would talk about me in that way was devestating. I was upset for the rest of the week, though I tried not to show it around my friends. 

Now on to the potential asshole-ry: Amy threw a party a few days after Christmas. When she invited me, I immediately asked if James was coming. She told me that he might, but he wasn't sure, and I told her that I most likely wouldn't come if James went, because of how he had been acting. My mental health had been suffering, and my self-confidence was at an all time low. She said she understood, but that she needed me to be at the party for mental support, as she is not used to having to interact with so many people. She offered to talk to James and tell him that somebody might not be coming to the party because of his behaviour in the past weeks. I accepted, as long as she didn't say my name, which I admit is a bit cowardly. 

The next day, James texted the group chat and said basically that Amy had told him what she told me she would say, and that he had been talking to his therapist about how he was acting. I don't know if I believe him about that or not, based on that it doesn't really seem he's making an effort to stop, and it also seems he enjoys putting me down. I replied and said I don't have to suffer just because he didn't have his shit together, and just because we weren't best friends anymore doesn't mean he can insult me constantly.

I feel insanely guilty about this. I feel as though it wasn't my place to comment on his state of mind, and I also feel guilty for not believing him about his therapist. James never replied to my message, but several of our friends replied and said fighting would just break us apart. I agree with that statement.

In case any of you were wondering, James did end up going to the party. I went despite this fact, and we kind of ignored each other the entire time. Am I the asshole for saying the things I did? Sorry for the short novel length of the post, I had a lot of information to give.

TL;DR: My friend had been very rude to me lately, I said I wouldn't go to a party if he was there because of it, my other friend told him, he says something about his therapist and I say I don't have to suffer because he doesn't have his shit together. Am I the asshole?

