Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I moved to NZ about 14 months ago, when i first touched down an old friend (who moved here quite some time ago) offered to collect me from the airport. As she was one of the reasons I wanted to visit and had also insisted I crash at hers, I gladly accepted her offer, especially after a 28 hour flight. She was three hours late. And this is where the problems began.

During the trip from Auckland to Wellington, which took three days, she insisted I pay for accommodation, petrol and food. I felt this was ok because of her generosity and also because I was jet lagged as hell and wanted as little fuss as possible. 

When we arrived I was then expected to cook for her (I'm a chef, but I actually detest cooking a lot of the time), to pay for more petrol and to share whatever groceries I'd bought. But more often or not, she would just take what she wanted regardless. Again, as she was offering me accommodation rent-free, I acted "ok" about this. But then my NZ bank decided to cock-up my money transfer from my UK account and it took a few weeks of yelling at both banks for them to sort it out. I had a reasonable amount of cash in my bank that had previously transferred just fine, but I watched it vanish due to her demands. She'd ask to go to the pub, but would ALWAYS "forget" her purse. She would kindly offer to let me tag along when she went to the supermarket but would then insist I paid for petrol. At the time I smoked, she claimed she had quit but would ALWAYS ask for a roll-up, one time I was running low of tobacco (I smoke hand rolled) so I politely explained as much. She stormed off in a huff and called me a "selfish prick"

Then her flatmate told me that her friend had just had a room open up, and was happy for me to pay in arrears once my bank sorted it's shit out. I moved grabbed my stuff and food and moved in ASAP. I then got shitty messages from her demanding I bring half my food back because it was "hers". She was particularly irritated that i took "her" eggs. I told her no and she had a full-blown mental breakdown. Started acting the victim, bringing up stuff that had zero relevance to this drama she had created, and just generally making me feel worthless. The aforementioned housemate said she was genuinely unnerved by her reaction. 

Then it hit me. Her lateness ALL THE TIME. The fact she repeatedly spent forever getting ready to go out, typically trying to find her sunglasses (even though we typically went out at night), her neediness. The girl has some pretty serious mental issues. Maybe a combination of NPD and anxiety disorder. I decided to try and make amends. Her, her boyfriend, her housemate and I decided to celebrate Christmas together. I agreed to cook and we agreed to all buy one another gifts. I spent ages trying to get all three of them presents that they'd actually want. I bought the housemate a portable speaker as hers had recently broke. I bought her fella cinema tickets as he is a huge film nerd. I bought my crazy friend an expensive box of mixed cheeses and crackers (cheese is disgustingly expensive in NZ) as she adored cheese. 

She bought me an egg-cup and bitched that I didn't get her a cinema ticket. An egg-cup she had found in a box outside a second-hand store. I know this because I was fucking with her when she found it. 

I pretty much made up my mind to get the fuck out of Wellington as soon as I could after that, which I did. But now I feel guilty. I've painted all of her bad points, but she is truly a wonderful human being, I've known her for 20 years and she has always been there for me and I feel that I should be there for her. Every time I see a message pop up from her I get anxious, and rarely respond with anything other than a few words or not at all. It's been about a year now, do you think I should apologise? Maybe just keep her at arms length? Am I an asshole?
 
