Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Hey all, throwaway and first real post. Don't know why I'm using a throwaway, because anyone that knows me is gonna recognize the situation from a mile away. Also on mobile so bear with me on the formatting. TL;DR at bottom.

Background
Basically, my parents had a car several years ago and I was told that when I started needing a car, it would be mine. Then, in my sophomore year of high school, they replaced it with another one they bought for $300. Since it took the place of the old one, I asked if this one would be mine when I needed a car and they said yes. 

For $300 it was great, the only major repair it needed was new motor mounts. (Well, not really, but we'll get to that.) My brother drove us to school in it at first. I then learned how to drive in it, and everybody liked it. My dad actually took it on a road trip and it held up great.

That is, until, oil started disappearing. It wasn't leaking, the motor was just burning it. My dad told all of us (my mom, bro and I) that the oil HAD to be checked EVERY TIME before it was driven and added so we didn't destroy it. 

One day, my mother needed to go to the store. She wanted to drive my (future) vehicle, but she didn't check the oil (more on this later), drove it a few miles on no oil, and blew the motor. It sat for several months, and my parents were planning on paying someone to haul it and scrap it.

After those months I decide I wanted a car, and I had some money saved up. I didn't have the money to buy a car that would actually last, but I had enough to fix the broken down one. So I asked my parents if instead of them paying someone to haul it off if I could fix it and keep it for myself instead, and they said sure. (Note, I didn't act entitled saying "you're getting rid of it anyway so you should just give it to me." I simply asked them if they'd be open to the idea and they said yes.)

Fast forward to now. 

It's been about 3 years of hard working with the aid of my grandfather, and after rebuilding the motor I finally have it running. But the trouble didn't end there. I don't want anyone else driving it. Period. It's my baby, and after all the time, sweat, and my own hard earned money doing labor for my great uncle (About $1800) I'm not taking chances. However, I've told my parents if they ever need a ride they just need to ask and I will if I can, and I only ask that they come with me so if something happens I'm not stranded alone.

The problem now is that my mother doesn't like that. She doesn't have a car of her own, so she thinks that I should let her drive my vehicle. 

But she hates it. She didn't say so before, but once I started rebuilding it and really cemented it as mine, she'd start saying things about hating it and stuff. 

But she demands that if she ever needs to/feels like driving it I should just let her because she says so. 

I explain to her that I do NOT want her driving it because she destroyed it in the first place. She knew that she had to make sure it had oil first, but refused to check because she is "a woman and car maintenance is a man's responsibility" and thought that fallacy would magically make an engine run perfect with no oil whatsoever. But even then she could have asked my dad to since he was home, but she was too lazy to ask. When I bring up how this is literally wrong, an engine doesn't care who you are and running with no oil is going to destroy it, she refuses to understand it and still thinks that because she's a woman she can destroy an engine then refuse to accept fault, because she's a woman and that's not her responsibility, and I'm an idiot for thinking otherwise.

However, she was also rear ended in a rental car in August, and due to some neck damage she should not be driving. So it's not even safe for her to drive. I bring this up too, but she won't even acknowledge this. The only time she does is when dad asks her to drive somewhere, then this "injury" becomes super convenient for her to say no.

She then demands that if she ever needs it she should be allowed to drive it, because it's still in my parents' name and they pay the insurance, and for my gas.

Now, every time she brings this up, I very respectfully tell her if it's that much of an issue to just stop paying it. But I also bring up the fact that 1) They still pay for my brother's insurance, even though he now lives in another state and does not support us at all (understandably), 2) she would never even consider driving his car without his permission 3) Before he moved out, he lived here for 2 years after high school with no job, except for one that lasted a few months, flunked out of college his first semester and wracked up a ton of debt, yet they still paid for his gas and insurance 4) I just graduated high school in May, and finished trade school with my Associates in June with hardly any debt (I went half time for free in high school) and without having a working vehicle until December made it virtually impossible to get a job.

When we get into these arguments about it, I make sure that I'm very respectful, even though she acts like I'm Charles Mansen. I also make it clear that I'm not forcing them to pay for anything, just that it'd be really dickish to stop compared to everything they did for my brother (who I have no resentment toward for any of this). I literally shut down all of her arguments just by calmly and respectfully stating facts. The result is always her screaming something, such as the whole theme for this sub, "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE SHUT UP GET OUT".

Wondering what my dad thinks? He knows where I'm coming from, knows that I'm right, but just hits the yeet and dodges the conversation.

I think she's really just mad that she doesn't have a car of her own, and she's spiting me because unlike her when I decided I wanted a vehicle I actually did something about it. She just plays the "pity me" game and complains about not having a car while doing nothing to help herself. Granted, she works all day prepping decals for a printing company, but over several years you'd think she'd at least try to figure something out.

Also, looking at how she treated my brother vs. me on the whole car situation, it's obvious she has little actual respect for me, and all the time and money I've put into it. I'm also fairly certain she's mad because I'm not just doing whatever she says blindly and actually calling her out when she has zero justification, and I have valid points to prove it.

Overall, I'm not caving and letting her (or anyone else) drive my vehicle because I know she wouldn't care if she destroyed all my hard work and time, and might actually be happy to. I've worked hard on it and it is mine in every way except on the title (so far).

TL;DR- My mom destroyed the engine of the vehicle that was supposed to me mine, and after spending $1800 of my own money and 3 years rebuilding it, she's mad I won't let her drive it because I don't want it destroyed again.


So am I really the asshole here? I'm not a saint and I won't claim to be, but I try as hard as I can to be reasonable but my mother still gets mad at me.
