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Throwaway account for various reasons.

This is a long one boyos, sorry.

Recently my older sibling has got in touch with me and we have been talking amicably for a couple of months after years of not talking.

Usually this only lasts for a short amount of time as something will piss them off and they will demand that I grovel and beg for their forgiveness which I refuse to do.

Me and my sibling have a lot of water under the bridge. I feel that they only ever come to me when their life has gone to utter shit, something which I take issue with. As my sibling is older than me they always always think that they are right. Like totally set in their ways which I understand to an extent but it becomes incredibly frustrating when you're talking to someone who won't even attempt to see your point of view.

Another reason I take issue with this is because they will demand that the whole family become involved and make time for them. To my mind I think that it's inconsiderate to demand everyone drop everything because you're going through a hard time through your own foolishness.

Right now they're going through a tough time I admit, I have really tried, believe me to put all our issues aside and help them as much as I possibly could. I'm a forgiving person and I try to be happy go lucky and not hold grudges, but when people treat you horribly its hard to forget what they've put you through.

They will call **constantly.** I don't mean a couple of times, I mean constantly ring until you get so frustrated you throw the phone away, I can't even Google anything because their constantly calling (Thanks iPhone).

I've explained that I'm in a very strict job where we can't use our phones freely, so I can't answer. To this they get really frustrated and tell me to make time.

Even when we do talk it's for **hours.** If it was a pleasant conversation then I wouldn't mind. It's continuously about how their life is hard, they have always suffered - even though they've been given the best opportunities in life (money for college, a huge wedding etc). My sibling has inflicted a lot of pain on our family and constantly insults them which is very hard for me to hear but I never say anything because I don't want them to feel bad. They dig at my other siblings, my parents and expect me to be quiet. On the odd occasion I ask them to not be so insulting, they tell me "I'm entitled to my opinion, you can't shut me down because you don't like it, either I'm your family or stranger".

When I don't pick up the phone I get guilt tripped into feeling like shit. They'll say "Oh so you could come online for WhatsApp but you can't answer my phone call?"

"Why are you so busy anyways? You're job isn't that important"

"You need to prioritise me otherwise it's best we stop talking"

I feel like I have to give them a breakdown of my day to justify why I couldn't speak to them. If there's a gap, e.g lunch, or travelling to a meeting, they will ask why I never called then. The inflections in their voice makes me want to tell them to fuck off and never call me again because its so accusatory.

They will constantly message to the point where I switch my phone off because I can't handle the long suffering "woe is me" conversations.

Before I seem unreasonable my sibling has straight ignored me on the street when things were going well for them. They poisoned my niece's against me, saying that I don't give a crap about them when actually my sibling has never allowed me to see them unless I bring money, toys or food.

Now my nieces' don't even acknowledge me. They call me "**Him"**.

My mental health has deteriorated these past years and I really want to focus on myself. I can't give my all to my sibling and I feel like I literally want to leave and run away.

I always have a headache after we've spoken. They turn up at my house to take them out, they constantly guilt trip me into feeling bad and make themselves the victim.

Am I the asshole for trying to distance myself?

Should I feel guilty?

What the heck do I do?