So 3 days ago it was my Gf’s birthday and i bought a party bus for her, so he could invite her friends and dance while we tour around the city.
The plan was that we went to her favorite restaurant (which i made the reservation) then we’d go to the party bus and end up on one of her relatives house. The whole day i was stressed worrying that everything went as planned and when people started arriving i was kinda distant and anxious.Then my GF came and we went to the restaurant but she could tell i was really panicking about the whole thing. She asked me what was wrong and i told her i was having a panick attack from all her friends being there and worrying if something could go wrong (she really didn’t gave a shit) So i order a couple of beers so that i could calm down. Then the bus came and i was even more stressed and drank a couple more drinks in the bus. Then my GF screamed at me in front of all of their friends that i should stop drinking. I got pretty mad and basically went to the corner because i didnt want to talk to anybody. Then she looked at me while i was mad and pretty much ignored me the whole trip which pissed me off even more. She gave me her phone and i dont know why i looked through her chats and i saw she was texting her ex. I didnt look any further and it got me even more pissed off. I gave her a text unloading me from all the frustration so when she saw her phone she’d know whats up with me. She looked and didnt even care. So when we arrived i was basically devastated. I didnt know what to think or what to do i just wanted to get out of there. So without thinking i called an uber and got out of the house like a ghost so i could go to the nearest park to load off some steam. I ended up crying because i imagened the worst. If she hide that from me what else was she hiding? So she asked where i was and i told her i got out to cry from anger. And she told me to get back in. But i didnt want them to see me fucking crying. So when my uber got there i just bailed. Not because i wanted to go, but i just did it without thinking.

Were still fighting till this day, and shes saying that i should have been there for her, but i was just mentally devastated. I’m not proud of what i did. I didn’t think clearly. But i also felt like she didnt gave a shit for me until i was truly rock bottom. And i also feel like she doesnt trust me for not telling me about her texting her ex, (which she knows i would get mad if it happened) 