Ok, so for context: 

I live in an insular community. Just about everything that happens on the island stays in the island, and everything that happens outside of the island stays outside of the island. That being said, I have a very close friend from off the island. Let’s call her M (17F)

* I am 17 years old, male

* D is 18M, a friend from my school. Very quirky, but we love him nonetheless

* R is 17F, my cousin (on this insular community she may as well be my sister)

* N is 19F, my sister, good friends with D

* A is 16F, another girl from our school

* J is 18M, another friend of mine. 

* M knows me extremely well, she’s my best friend and we know each other extremely well. M knows R and N, but not to the point that I do

* M is the only one from off the island

* M does not know D, J, or A

* Many if these people are not my closest friends, but friends nonetheless. Not the people I would sit with at an event

* D often creates group chats that include R, J, N, A, himself, me, and many others. 

* I was planning on asking another girl, C(18F) (she’s not relevant to the story) to our schools prom, but my mother had told M that I was going to ask her, which I had no idea. M texted me saying that she’d love to go with me because she hates her city, and loves mine. I say that will be taking her, because I’d rather explain to C the situation and take my friend to prom than tell me friend “No I don’t wanna go to prom with you”

* I asked D and A for advice the day the previous bulletpoint happened, after it occurred, asking where I should go from there. They came up with the same advice I had given myself.

* These group chats are absolute chaos. It goes from extremely personal about depression and suicidal behavior to A and J just spamming “epic gamer time”, “my peepee hurts” and “I’m gonna go poopoo”. About 45 texts are sent per minute (that’s an exaggeration, but it has gotten to that point)

Alright: here comes the juicy stuff

Last night, in the most recent group chat, D says that he’s gonna make a new one, because this one was getting stale, and suggests he should add M because he thinks they should all get to know her before the prom. I say that they should meet her, but not in a group chat, again because it’s very chaotic. D agrees

Earlier today, I get a notification on my phone. A new group chat (*hooray*). I check to see who’s in this one, because who wouldn’t, and who do I see but M. Of course I’m upset because this is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to happen. I text D, and he said that he did it because he thought they should get to know her before prom (me and M probably aren’t even going to be sitting with them at prom). I tell him that he went against my word, and he said that it would stink if she felt awkward at prom, but she also has the ability to leave the group chat if she wants. He also said that he talked to R and N about M, and that they agreed she should be added. We settle on “we’ll see what happens”. 

Later on, J and A are in Houseparty (a Group FaceTime app) and I decide to pop in, as we do. Later I ask them if they know why D added M into the group chat, and A said that she and D did it when creating the group chat. I asked why, and she said why not. I explained that “why not” is because I explicitly asked the first group chat not to add M to the new one, and yet they did it anyways. All A could come up with was “it’s in the past”. I was soon whisked away by my family to eat dinner.

Later, D texts me asking is we could talk. I say sure, because that’s what friends are for. He then FaceTimes me for 44 minutes and about how it’s in the past, and how I’ve done things that hurt him in the recent past (we were all talking about our 8th grade class trip to Washington DC, and how we look back and cringe, I brought up how as soon as we walked into our hotel room D stripped down to his underwear in front of me and J, making me quite uncomfortable. Me bringing this up in the group chat was what hurt him. D also has a *long* history of being easily offended by things, we had a falling out for a year over me not wanting to be part of a YouTube group he created)

D explains that he can’t fix what’s in the past, I’ve been mean to him before and that I’m not taking M’s feelings into consideration. I explained that he should have looked at things from M’s point of view (being dumped into a chaotic group chat with a bunch of strangers, and three people she knows), and that not everyone can just be brought into something like this and be comfortable with everything. I also don’t really want to be thought as one of the people who spam group chats with “peepee poopoo”. I didn’t tell this last point to him, but he still went on about how I’ve hurt him, and I can’t see everything the way she can, but I know her closer than I know my sister, and D has never met M. 

D also pointed out that A told him that she asked me if I was embarrassed by them before I hung up. I did not hear this, and while I enjoy their company, I can be embarrassed by them, but I never let them know because that’s a dickish thing to do. I tell him I didn’t hear her asking that.

D concludes the 44 minute call with “we shouldn’t be getting this upset about something as silly as a group chat”. I conclude that it wasn’t about that, more so that my friend went against my wishes.

Later on, after the phone call I talk with N, my sister. I explain the situation, she says that D did not ask her when he claimed he did. She agrees with me until I bring up the thing about our Washington DC trip, because I had also pointed out in the group chat that D has large nipple, and he said he was really hurt by that. N pulled a complete 180 and kicked my out of her room where we were talking. 

So now here I am writing this reddit post. So what do you think guys, Am I The Asshole?

**TL;DR** Title