Burner account.

My wife and I have been married for 1.5 years. She has a child from a previous relationship. We got pregnant before the wedding and had a child 4 months after we got married. 

After we got married, but before the child was born, my job found out about a relationship I had with a subordinate while my wife and I were split up, and were going to terminate me. I quit that job, and found another job making nearly what I was making at the previous. I started that job 5 days after my child was born, but I was working 60-70 hours per week and felt like I was missing a lot of time with my family. 

After 2 months, I quit because I couldn’t take the stress of being a new dad and also working as much as I was. I found a temporary job making considerably less, but in a field I had experience, working mid-shifts, 40 hours per week.

I took my current position 6 months ago, knowing that it would not be a long term position, but that it would introduce me to an industry that I enjoy working in and potentially lead me to better opportunities (either within the company I currently work for, or through networking). The hours are much the same as the temporary position from last year (mid-shifts during the week, usually off work by 8PM, occasional Saturdays, 40 hours per week).

She, meanwhile, watches the children 4 days a week and works Fri-Sun, 10 hours shifts. She did not want our children to be in daycare, so we settled on this schedule. It means we very rarely get days off together, but they do happen. 

In my previous position, I could pay all of the bills and still have plenty left to go on dates, etc. Now, it does require that she pay some of the bills, although I pay the mortgage, car payment, car insurance. She is usually left with 2-3 bills per month, including her cell phone.

Anyway, she constantly complains about how my position is terrible, I’m too good for the job, how I don’t get paid enough, how I’m abused by my work. I have been very successful in the position, though I did have an early rough patch. I’m a department manager, so when someone calls out, I’m expected to cover the shift. She complains about this. She frequently fusses at me when I get up to get ready for work, complaining that I’m leaving too early (Google maps says 27 mins to my job, I usually try to leave 25-30 mins early), and telling me that the job doesn’t respect me so why should I care about being late. 

She will also do things like try to run to the store for cigarettes/tell me to run to the store when I need to leave in 10 mins. If I tell her that there isn’t time, she starts complaining again and telling me how shitty my job is. This happens at least once a week, leaving me to start my work day in a bad mood.

I stood up for myself today and told her that I was tired of her disrespecting me and my job, and that I wouldn’t listen to her complaints anymore. Right now she’s on her way to her parents’ with our children. 

AITA?