Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : For as long as I remember, I have lived alone with my mother. When I was very little, she left my father due to his absence and alcoholic tendencies and took me with her. Now, it's over 20 years, and I visited him once in my hometown.

I had the time of my life with my half-sister, but I couldn't exchange more than pleasantries with my dad. I never lived with him, neither I know his daily life. He only sends me messages and calls whenever it's my birthday or an holiday, but completely ignores my existence during most of the time. I never felt like I missed him, because there was nothing to miss at first. He never helped my mom economically or gave me a gift, only reminded me of his presence in two days an year.

Now, last Christmas he mentioned the possibility of coming to visit me, but I shoved him aside and gave excuses, saying I would be traveling and away from home. However, I can't help but think every night if he doesn't realize what he does is wrong. I feel pretty shitty ignoring every attempt of him trying to come closer, but I'm sure I won't be able to love him, despite my efforts of giving him some attention. He's been sober for a while and struggling to maintain a job, but never texted my family or asked if there's anything he could help with.

Every person I've talked to made me even more miserable, saying I shouldn't ignore the fact that he's my parent, that I should be grateful he brought me into this world. I tried, hard as I could, but I can't love him. I don't hate him, nor harbor anything ill-minded. I just can't feel a thing. Should I call him back and hope that, unlike last birthday when he promise he would come but had a "business trip" two days prior to the party, he'll come and give me my first dress ever as a gift?

Am I the asshole?