Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My one coworker (Jen) is very openly gay, which is of course perfectly fine with me. I only take issue with one word that she uses often, whether she’s referring to herself or to someone else: fa***t. 

According to Jen, people use to call her this when she was a teenager. She says that as a lesbian, she is allowed to use the term. I suppose it may be some kind of empowering act for her to own who she is, which I understand. 

However, today I finally snapped. The sound of “fa***t” is just so grating on my ears! It’s like my entire body recoils when I hear it. I wince every single time. 

Jen and I have worked together for months, and today is the first time I built up the courage to say something (I’m pretty shy, so it takes A LOT for me to finally complain about something; I generally just go with the flow). 

“Jen, would you mind not using that term around me in the future? To be honest, it makes me very uncomfortable.”

She seemed taken aback, and reiterated that other people used to bully her with the term. I replied that my position remains the same; it makes me deeply uncomfortable for her to be yelling “fa***t!” across the office, especially when there are clients nearby who may overhear. 

Jen got quiet, then took an early lunch break and never came back to the office. I’m worried. Am I the asshole?