TL;DR: I was bitter and sarcastic to my friends and they collectively decided I no longer belonged in the friend group.

A lot of shit has happened in the past few days, but I'll try to summarise it as best I can.

Pretty much I have trust issues and my best friend was my first real friend. I also was "friends" with a few other people who they knew. According to them in the past, I had really helped a few of them, even apparently saving the life of one of them (planned suicide). The problem is, I have a lot of serious issues with depression and suicide myself and so many times I could be a bit of a downer, but I never tried to complain about my problems to them, and I always avoided telling them about my past and my struggles. This is where it gets complicated.

I'll split this into a few parts for each person.

My best friend, who we'll call Apple. I met Apple about a year ago, and we gradually became best friends. Apple was the first person I trusted in a long time and my first real friend. We helped eachother in times of need and I think gave everything I could to help make them feel better. However, as of late I imagine I have been rather judgemental, due to my own personal struggles. It was frustrating and confusing to see my "friends" getting better and happier and me still being the same person, lonely and self-destructive. Of course, I didn't tell anyone this, but when Apple told me they had a date, I may have reacted in an... unfavourable way. I didn't say anything inherently rude, but I think I came off as a little salty and jealous. Shortly after this, Apple asked me what was wrong , and I told them it was none of their business. For a solid three minutes, and 13 messages, they probed and probed, not taking no for an answer. Eventually they said "fine, if I'm no good to you, I'll just leave." My response was "Okay, have a nice night, sleep well, and enjoy your date." I then went to bed. Apparently Apple wasn't actually being serious, and me being my Asperger's self, I completely misread that and made them feel rejected.

Now, we'll talk about Melon (don't worry, this will all tie in at the end). Melon was a girl who previously had feelings for me that were not reciprocated, however, I feel I was always nice to her. According to her, I saved her life, and I also listened to her story and gave her a lot of support, and told her I would always be there to help her. She said the same about me, talking about how much she would always care about me. She proceeds to forcibly demand I tell her my past and my story, and says she won't judge me. A few days later, I have a Multiple Personality Disorder episode where one of the people inside of my head comes to the outside, and says some very eery (but again, not inherently bad) poetry type stuff. Later I apologise for the episode and say it won't happen again. She makes a post on her story which my anxiety tells me is about me, so I ask if it's me she's talking about. She gives a reply something like "My life doesn't revolve around you," and my response is a sarcastic jab, "It's called anxiety, and it eats you from the inside out, not that you'd know anything about mental illness, would you?" This is weeks after I help her figure out she's bipolar. Admittedly, it was very insensitive for me to say, but these people became friends with me knowing I was sarcastic and bitter. I literally warned them.

Pretty much, she flips out because of this, and proceeds to call me insane and unstable for having Dissociative Identity Disorder, calls me "pity-seeking" (keep in mind she dragged my story out of me) and insults me in other ways too. She gets Apple and both decide that they don't wanna be my friends anymore. They tell me I never did anything for them and that I'm a terrible person and never loved them.

Here comes Carrot. Carrot is someone who I was somewhat close to, and friends with both Melon and Apple. In the middle of the night, while these people's stories are lighting up with a hangout I wasn't invited to, she messages me telling me to back off from her friends. I'm like "are you kidding? lol." and she tells me I killed her friend group and tore them down. 

Enter Rutabaga, Carrot's best friend. We almost had a relationship, but we decided to wait. Carrot tells me Rutabaga has no respect for me because I hurt her friends. I now have 4 people who are telling me I was never a friend to any of them, including the only person I truly trusted, Apple.

When I show Carrot screenshots of chats showing that I was being prodded at and insulted, she denied it and continued to give no reason as to why they all hated me, just that I ruined everyone's mood and brought them all down. This makes me feel really guilty.

To end the story, they all left me and took another friend with them, Kumquat. When I commented under a post of Rutabaga's saying "Nice aesthetic, I like it," Kumquat replied saying "thank u, next" to which Melon replied "HAHHAA 😂". in the end of this all, I feel really ridiculed and as though I can't trust anyone anymore, BUT I also feel like maybe it was all justified?

AITA for making my friends feel like I'm cold, even though they knew that's who I was? It hurts, but was I the antagonist all along?

Thanks for the advice,
Banana