  

Alright! first time posting ever on reddit! I want to make sure you obtain all the information:

I met this person (call him TOM)on my 22nd birthday, I was drunk and with the help of liquid courage I managed to go up to TOM and ask for his number. The next day I he messaged me to save his number for the next time I go out. I was shocked that it worked lol \[TOM also messaged me saying he would do ‘dirty things’ to me, I figured TOM liked me (probably a red flag here if he was willing to do things like that on such a short period of time…)\] Regardless.

Starting out as friends, we would meet up when we both had off which was the weekends only. Things were cool for several months. Time passes, I remember I did the whole “what are we?” and he kind of froze. I remember getting upset and that was a red flag there, but this was my first time with someone (I thought I was going to fast with it) so I ignored it. Carried on our relationship, we went out here and there, I guess you could say we were dating (I thought we were, and I assumed that). His birthday came, I gave a few cool gifts and what not. Then the holidays, Thanksgiving and then Christmas I did the same. At this point, he introduced me to his friends that were nice to me. So, in return, I tried to be as nice as possible and befriend them because my thinking is if you wanted to date someone you need to be cool with their friends &amp; fam. Everything was cool until

Christmas Break//New Year’s

\*Remember this whole time I’m going to college and this was my first time ever to be on my own (away from home). During my Christmas break I decided to stay at my place so I was alone and my work is seasonal so I was literally doing nothing. 

\-----&gt;  New Years. New Year seem to be a problem. Last year, I was with my parents (they’re in late 70s)  they went to bed at 7pm! So I didn’t want to go home to celebrate my new year like that. Comes the evening I get a random message from TOM’s friend asking me to go out with them for the New Year. I got excited cause I wasn’t doing anything. Excited to go, I got dressed and geared up to let loose &amp; experience the new year the right way! Then I get a message from TOM saying are you going out with my friends?! ( I should have messaged him about it before saying yes to TOM’s friend, turns out he had to work on New Years) I said yes to going because I got excited. He was really upset and said fine go. 

The next day we talked, he thought it was wrong of me to go with his friends while he wasn’t there \[ I can understand that \]. I told him I wouldn’t do it again, things were weird after that, it wasn’t the same. We barely saw each other and talked, it was on and off. I get a message from the same friend that invited me out for NY to go for some food &amp; a show. I decided to go to surprise TOM since he worked later in the day. I went and it was just her, I kind of panicked and didn’t want to be rude and just leave because of what TOM and I agreed on so I went with it. TOM’s friend and I talked about life it was pretty chill, his friend was cool af. He found out, I tried to explain that I was trying to surprise TOM by just showing up unexpectedly. This backfired, things were never the same. We didn’t talk for a while until my birthday. I tried to invite him out to celebrate it but he didn’t show. 3 days later he showed up gave me a gift wished me a happy birthday and left. It was strange, like he felt like he had to do it (return a favor). Time flies and things kinda settle down. **TOM wanted to be friends rather than anything else (via tinder msg)**. I haven’t seen TOM for a while until he asked me to go out with him and his friends. I went, he was drunk and admittedly said things went too fast that’s what scared him. I wasn’t buying it because we “talked” for a whole year and he didn’t know what I was majoring in? What my hobbies were? and I’m sure a lot more. But I know all this information about TOM, it’s just salt in the wounds at this point. I TOLD HIM THAT I HATED HIM FOR NOT CARING ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP THAT NIGHT. TOM said that he would “always be nice to me”. Lol, anyway So I’m not interested in TOM anymore, I was done trying to pursue him. 

One night this summer one of his friends \*AT THE TIME\* invited me out to a hot tub party, I went and after that  I got message from his friend saying that he was deleted from all social medias from TOM and was sent a message saying “why would you try to get with my ex”. I was confused. I laughed about it and his friend did too, I moved on. Over time TOM tried to talk to me on social media, I was dry and ignored it.

Then comes this decemeber: my friend wanted me to go out to the club were I met TOM, of course he was there and so was his friends. I’m not interested in TOM but his friends greeted me we took pictures I kissed his friend on the cheek as a good bye. That night I got a message saying why did I kissed his friend. I sent “LMAO” and that was it. Then a week later I was sent a message to go out with a few friends that were gonna be with TOM. This is New Year weekend, so I had nothing like last year and I went to have a few drinks. Cops were out so I stood around till the bar closed. Tom and his friends were done with clubbing and were waiting on a ride. I offered to get an UBER to be nice and to make sure everyone arrives safely to their destinations. Uber X carries on 4 I totally spaced on that and there was 5 of us. So in the end we tried to pack in the car and the uber driver was like this can’t happen so I jump out and said  I’ll just go home ( I didn’t live to far from the club and wasn’t too drunk) I got out and the car started to drive off and then out of no where one of TOM’s friend jumped out and thought it was messed up for me to get an uber for everyone and not even take it. Tom and the people made it back to their destination. Out of no-where me and the friend that rode with me back to the same destination gets deleted from TOM’s social media. I don’t care, I ended up blocking him in return. His friend was like what did I do? I apologized for bring him in this mess even though I was just trying to be nice and be cautious about going home. Apparently, TOM was mad, stormed off as soon as they are arrived.

At this time his friends told me the truth (since he was gone) and everything that was wrong with me and him. I found out that TOM’s friends are not trustworthy, they tend to “mess around” with a lot people. I think I can say that TOM has insecurities because he thought I slept with his friends in the past. Tom’s friends said I was too nice and tried to please TOM no matter what. Also, Tom’s friends told him to take me seriously. Tom’s friends said I was too honest which made things worse at times. 

There was a reason why I wanted to wait till I was older to try to date and to experience things with someone I cared about. To show what type of person I am I had my first kiss when I was 18 and didn’t get laid till well this relationship.

It’s just sad that I tried so hard to make this perfect.

I know this was a lot, but I wanted to provide my thinking to each action I did. It was my first person I thought I loved. Hard lesson learned. As well I learned that age is just a number because TOM was immature for a 28yo. Lol, I tried to make this relationship happen and it damaged me pretty bad tbh… through school, work, and my own life probs.

I figured I was in the wrong because I got unfriended and what not…

so AITA to ruin this relationship, take friends, idk?

what do you think??