A while back, a buddy of mine (not a close friend by any means) blocked me and ignored my texts out of nowhere. Mind you, this is right after I did him a huge favor for free using my professional skills. Turns out the girl he was dating was jealous or whatever. We have never been romantically involved or even flirtatious in any way.

I was totally appalled and wrote him off. Dude is in his mid-20’s, not a teenager. That’s a terrible way to treat someone who’s been nothing but kind to you. 

Months and months later he reached out to say he’d “been manipulated” blah blah blah and tried to rekindle our friendship. I ignored the message. He tried again and I ignored that, too. I didn’t feel I had any obligation to respond.

Today he hits me with “My dad died last night, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me”.

I’ll be honest. I was totally disgusted. Leveraging your own father’s death to guilt someone you weren’t even that close to into rekindling a friendship they’ve made it abundantly clear they don’t want? But people can act oddly when grieving, I get that. Still can’t help feeling repulsed and manipulated.

I have not yet replied but was thinking of simply saying that he had my condolences for his loss, but that I was uninterested in rekindling our friendship. TBH I’m in a foreign country on an emergency visit to see a dying relative of my own. As terrible as it sounds, I have no desire to listen to this guy cry about his loss right now. I feel he absolutely should be leaning on his family or closer friends at this time. 

I have no desire to pile hurt on a person who just lost a parent. That’s tough stuff. But I can’t help but feel really skeeved and frustrated and backed into a corner.

Am I the asshole, here? 