Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : I'm going to try and be as unbiased as possible. Also this is very long so go back if you don't want to read a novel. 

Quick Context: We met during a really bad time in my life and I needed a good friend. From the first few times we hung out, she wanted me to live with her as she knew my living situation was not the best. I declined for a few months but eventually caved as she was persistent. I moved into the smallest bedroom of the house and paid cheap rent. We hung out all the time and shared some really good moments together. I loved her alot. We lived together for two years.

The Story: I was living with my dog, her, her dog and her boyfriend. Everything was pretty alright allot of the time. She and I spent alot of time alone as her boyfriend was a workaholic. We used to go to shows together, go to the park and go on trips together just the two of us. Like I said I was in a bad time in my life so I didn't think too much of myself. I liked what she liked. Did what she did. I went where she went. If she didnt care for something, neither did I. Honestly I lost myself a bit during that time. We did everything together and she seemed pretty happy to have me as her best friend so that made me content. 

By year two my boyfriend was also living there as well as a 5th person and my anxiety was almost unmanageable. I started going to a therapist and that helped tremendously. That was about the same time that I started getting fed up with a few things. My original roommates(the couple) were not treating my dog very well. Everyone who lived there was in a group chat and the chat turned into a method of calling people out and embarrassing them(namely me and my boyfriend). Specifically I was noticing things about my friend that I didn't like i.e. her treating my dog badly(punishing hhim, locking him in my room and not letting him out, calling him names), acting like her dog was more important than my dog, insisting that she's right despite anything proving otherwise, her essentially pitching a fit if things didn't go her way. Things weren't always bad but I just couldn't ignore it when they were and I expressed these concerns more and more to my therapist each week. 

The straw that broke the camels back was one day she yelled and screamed about something trivial and stormed out of the house. It wasn't directly at me but the entire house. Because of my high anxiety I ended up having a panic attack in my room. After calming down I decided no more. I made up my mind to stay out of the house as much as possible and when I did have to be home (which wasn't often)I kept my room door closed, only leaving for food and bathroom needs. I stopped hanging out with her all the time and I finally made some time for my family and other people. I explored new friendships. The time that I spent away from her was good for me but at the same time I did have the hope that she would notice I wasn't around and realize she was pushing me away. There were a few times we did hang out over this period but it was always with a group of mutual friends and I didn't interact with her very much.  

The Beginning of the End: Well she finds out I am planning a trip with a friend of mine. This trip happens to fall on a day that she wants to throw a last minute party. She tells me I have to cancel my plans and come to her party instead because I'm her best friend. This is the first time I tell her no flat-out and it doesn't go well. After stewing and pouting, she ends up deciding to have the party another day. I said that to say this: the next day she confronts me about not being around. She tells me that I'm not making time for her and that she really needs me to do that. At this point I could have told her "I havent been hanging out with you because of A, B, and C" but I didn't think that would go over well. So I tell her I don't know what she's talking about and ask if this has anything to do with my refusal to cancel my plans with my other friend. Well turns out that was the wrong response because she absolutely blows up. 

The Wrap-up: Our friendship doesn't end there but it might as well have because it just continues to get uglier and uglier from here on out. I don't regret ending the friendship by any means.  Regardless, I feel like this was an opportunity for me to be honest and possibly start a dialogue with her, however my assumption that she wouldn't have taken it well caused me to not even give her a chance to redeem herself. 


So, AITA?
