Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : This happened a while ago and is still causing problems in my relationship with my girlfriend - we are both middle aged. We’ve been together over a year but have known each other for decades and were close friends for a few years before we became involved.

We were having sex and she asked me to tell her she was beautiful. Some of her features are very pretty and many people would find her pretty. To me, “beautiful” is a whole different category. When I think of beautiful women, I think of women like old movie stars, perfect and unattainable. Kind of icy and distant. I told her this and she has been upset ever since. She's withdrawn sometimes and sex hasn't been the same. Sometimes she brings it up and cries. I have told her I am sorry that her feelings were hurt.

She doubts I love her, which is far from the truth. I love her very much. But I am pedantic, which is something she knows about me. I was being truthful and honesty is important in a relationship.

She is a wonderful woman, she is very warm and cares about me a lot. But she has a history of low self esteem and her few long term relationships have been with men who were jerks.  

She thinks if I love her, I will think she is beautiful. I think if I love her, I will be truthful with her.

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