Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : This happened a few months ago, and as much as I think I done the right thing I have been completely torn about whether or not I was an asshole based on the aftermath of the situation.  Sorry this is really long, just want to make everything as clear as possible since this has been tugging on my conscience for a while.  


So some background. I'm 23 and have been really good friends with this guy, let's call him Bob, (23) for ten years (used to be best friends for 7 years of this). We stopped hanging out when this club we used to go to, where I met him, closed down but still met up occasionally until recently for catch-ups and gigs and spoke to each other a lot on facebook. When we went to this club, we were the only people there that used to listen to heavier stuff like death metal rather than the standard music that played there and so everyone and their mum used to say we should get together for years and years. We did drunkenly kiss when when we were 15 and again at 20  we went to a gig but both times we were very much like, nope, not doing it for me and carried on as good friends and like normal. When we were 19, he had his first relationship which ended when she cheated on him with and left him for his one of our mutual friends. He was devastated, swore off relationships, essentially typical first heartbreak stuff, got over it and was happy being single. A year ago, he bumped into this girl, let's call her Janet, who went to the same club we used to go to. She was 3/4 years younger than us. I didn't know her that well other than through mutual friends and her going to the same place. Think I had made 2 conversations with her at most, and I didn't really like the impression she gave off, which was the stereotypical "Rawr XD", "Look how edgy I am, my music scares people!" for lack of a better description. They start dating. He introduces me to her and she's immediately pissed off that I didn't know who she was. As I said, I had 2 conversations at most with her years ago. Next time I met her she was very rude and annoyed that I was hanging out with Bob, until Bob told me that he told Janet that he had kissed me twice before years ago but it meant nothing. Bob stopped hanging out with me but we still talked regularly on facebook, commenting on each other's statuses and what not and every time we bumped into each other Janet is incredibly rude to me, even when me and my boyfriend of 2 years have bumped into her alone. Fast forward to a few months ago.  


My boyfriend and I are on a night out to a nightclub Janet regularly goes to. Sidenote: Bob never goes on nights out, ever. We genuinely avoid her every time she's there because she can be really annoying by bragging about how much she's had to drink, how some guy's hit on her, gets weirdly flirty with my boyfriend or some crap like that, but I've always tolerated it because Bob is a good friend and  makes him happy. At about half through the night, my boyfriend and I go out to the smoker's area for a cig, and bam, there's Janet feeling up and making out with one of mine and Bob's mutual friends. I'll admit, I didn't think at all but I tapped her on the shoulder and asked, "Why are you cheating on Bob?". They stopped and Janet with a look of horror on her face, says "What?" and I asked her the same question again. I then asked the mutual friend why he was making out with her when he knows she's dating Bob. Janet's drunken friend who I've never met but somehow knows me, presumably from Janet probably lying about me having interest in Bob, then says "She's not cheating! They're playing truth or dare!" My partner, behind me, says "That's still cheating." I say, "Whatever" and go to the other side of the smoker's cage. I was really angry that she could hurt my friend like that, and at the mutual friend for not giving a damn. Janet then runs off inside because she got caught. I asked my partner if I should tell Bob and he said I should, since he deserves to know the truth and that he'll back me up since he saw it to. I open the Bob's chat on messenger when suddenly Janet's drunken friend comes up and starts screaming at me, and grabbing my jacket, saying "She was just snogging him! It's not like she was fucking him." Over and over again. I kept telling her to leave me alone, as did my partner and people overhearing in the smoker's area, trying to split it up. Then she started threatening  me as well as repeating what she previously said, so I pressed record on my phone as soon as. I got everything on video, as it would be proof that she was the aggressor and threatening me if security got involved, and proof to Bob that Janet was cheating. She then caught on she was on video and stormed back inside the building. Because it was on Bob's chat at the time, the video got sent straight to Bob, who asked me to call him. So I did, and he asked me what was happening, why was \*Janet's friend\* saying that Janet kissing our mutual friend not cheating, and asking for clarity, so I told him everything that just happened. Bob gets really sad and says that he has to go and will talk later.

 I was really upset, from being grabbed (I wasn't going to initiate a fight over something so stupid, whilst I'm sober and they're drunk for one) and for my friend being stabbed in the back so my bf and I had another few cigarettes so I could chill for a bit. About half an hour later, a bouncer comes up to us (she's my mate's aunty) asking why a girl just came up to her in tears over me recording her without her permission.  I responded by saying that the girl was threatening me and physically grabbed me and that I had deleted the video as soon as the girl left. I lied about deleting the video because I couldn't delete the video as it was sent directly on messenger and I didn't want to be in trouble. She checked my phone and nothing there so that was the end of it. I don't get why I was in the wrong by videoing since you don't need permission to film someone in the country I'm in and she was threatening me, but whatever. They left anyway.   


The next day I didn't hear back from Bob and noticed that Janet had blocked me on facebook (never had her as a friend). Bob kept making posts about her, and was still listed in a relationship so they stayed together. Since that night Bob has only spoke to me a couple of times since, but not like in personal chat or anything, just the odd comment on a facebook post, not malicious or out of character or anything, but that's the most interaction with him these days.  I have since found out from mutual friends through her telling  that wasn't the first time she had cheated, but the first time she got caught and that she has been bad-mouthing me to everyone she knows saying that I lied and tried to split them up because I have feelings for Bob, which is really not true. I've been assured by my partner that I did the right thing, but re-playing the situation in my head, I feel like I was in the wrong for telling him, since he had been happy for the year he had been dating her, unaware of her behaviour, but happy nonetheless and because I feel like we've ruined our friendship, even if it hadn't been that great the past year, or that if I was going to tell him, I could have done it in a more sensitive way than sending a video of her friend violently screaming that his girlfriend groping and making out with another guy wasn't cheating because it was truth or dare. All of that has me coming to the conclusion that I didn't do the right thing. Am I the asshole in this situation?  


&amp;#x200B;