Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Hey everyone - 

using a throwaway because people know my other account and I talk shit in a lot of the sports subs. I deal with my sadness with stupid humor so hence my username. I honestly never thought I’d post here and that anyone here asking if they were the asshole or not we’re idiots because they have no self awareness. Well looks like I am an idiot, too!


Anyways let’s get into this- buckle up buttercups. It’s a long one. 

I’m a senior at a large university in the United States. I met my now girlfriend the beginning of my sophomore year in one of our business classes. Let’s name her Jenna. The first year was amazing and I honestly fell in love with her. We talked about marriage after college, where we were going to live, the whole nine yards. The ONLY thing that was really a red flag for me was her lack of girl friends. Not only at school, but also in her hometown (we’re both out of state students). I know now this is usually a huge red flag, but I thought, Hey! It’s not like I have a shitload of friends and I was lucky enough to go to school with my best friend from back home. Anyways, we had sex pretty regularly. I am EXTREMELY paranoid about using protection when we have sex (condoms) and she is really against it, even after having a pregnancy scare with her last boyfriend (“but it feels soooo much better and I’m on the pill”) She reluctantly agrees to use a condom every time because I told her it was the only way we’d have sex. When we first got together she claimed to have been tested for STDs and has a low sex partner count, and I had no reason to suspect otherwise, but still thought it would be a good idea to protect the both of us - man I’m glad I did. 

Last night we went out with a bunch of my friends to some bars. Had a great time and I definitely had too much to drink. She was sober and drove us because she had work in the mid morning. We ended up going back to my place where I really don’t remember much, except I know we had sex and she admitted to me in the morning that she didn’t want to use a condom and I was too drunk to object or notice. (She did all the work). She kinda made a joke about it “See you don’t have an STD! Ha!” First, she has no idea how STDs work, and secondly I was furious. I’m a pretty calm guy, but this pissed me off as I explained that I only wanted to have unprotected sex when I got married to my wife and she had really broken my trust with her. She took this as an insult (“OH so I’m not going to be your wife?!) and a fight ensued. Listen, I really kind of blame myself for this at this point. I come from a family of alcoholics and I need to be better about controlling my drinking so that I can be coherent enough to know what’s going on around me. Still, I thought someone who loves me and knows my stance on things like this should have my back and respect my wishes. 

Anyways, during this fight, it was never physical (I’ve never touched a woman like that) and voices weren’t raised too loud as my roommates were sleeping, but it definitely had a hostile feel. It’s also the most bizarre fight I’ve ever been a part of. She finally came clean about so much of her past that she had either lied to me or chose not to disclose - almost a cathartic releases of things she had bottled up. She admitted to me that her actual sexual partner count was in the 30s and she couldn’t really remember the exact number (I’m not sure why she admitted this, except maybe to hurt me? I had asked once or twice in the past and she would always say 7) I started asking about why she didn’t have any girlfriends and that I thought it was weird and she admitted in high school she had “gotten” with two of her “best friends” boyfriends and was pretty much ostracized from her friend group. She had also gone “crazy” her freshman year and I guess got around her dorm room which is why none of the girls wanted to be her friend (we have coed dorms for anyone wondering). I lived in another dorm on the other side of campus my freshman year, and with the size of our university it doesn’t surprise me that I never heard anything about this.  (Perfect example gentlemen that if she says she only hangs out with dudes because they are “less drama” she’s probably bangin em’)

This all bothered me, but I’m all about second chances. I told her I was mad at her, but that I would probably forgive her and that she just needed to give me some space to cool off. She was grateful and I really don’t doubt her love for me. I even think at this point that I’m overreacting even though I’ve been somewhat cool about it all. 

This is where it gets fucked up and after so many replays in my head I have no idea why I did this next part...

I don’t know how or why I remember this, but about six months into our relationship I had a super weird encounter with her and another guy as we were both leaving my apartment. He was walking by and she waved him down to say hi. Let’s name him Jake. She introduced me to him and I thought it was super weird that my girlfriend knew him (I had seen him around before and knew he lived somewhere in my apartment complex, but didn’t know who he was and she lived about 10 minutes from me). I asked her after meeting him how she knew him and she said they had a class together. He was a good looking cat(looked like Ryan Gosling to be honest) and I made a joke about how if she wasn’t in my life I would totally bang that guy while watching the movie Drive (I’m 100% straight, just jokes). She normally likes my dumb humor, but for some reason gave a really weird fake laugh/smile. I thought this was super weird so I asked her what was wrong. Immediately, I have a sick feeling in my stomach (I kinda know she’s banged this dude, but think maybe I’m being paranoid?). I ask her, do you really have a class with Jake or are you lying to me? She does a GREAT acting job saying that I’m insecure, how she’s not a slut, she would never lie to me, she’s not in a good mood because she’s on her period, yadda yadda. I immediately apologize and again, up until this point, I have no reason to suspect anything.


Fast forward back to this morning-

I don’t know why, but as she’s about to leave my apartment on OK terms, I remember this past moment. I ask “Remember that Jake guy? Did you have sex with him?”  She says “yeah, why?” She doesn’t even remember lying to me or the conversation we had over a year earlier. She goes “It’s not a big deal, it was before we dated” This freaks me the fuck out. Why did she lie to me about it? I shook the hand of a dude who totally banged my girlfriend and had no idea and then she lied about it. I lost it. Told her to pack all of her shit from my place (she stayed over about 4 days a week at this point) and to get the fuck out of my place and never come back (god damn you Ryan Gosling looking motherfuckers must have it easy). She starts crying. At this point of my best friend  is up (the true MVP of today) and tells me to leave and that he will help her pack her shit and will take her home. I leave and go to a bar and start drinking (I know, I know, stop being a fucking alcoholic)

Anyways, this all happened this mid morning. She’s called and left voicemails and sent me texts nonstop and I’m too big of a pussy to block her yet. I’ve been pretty upset all day and haven’t responded to anything. I blocked her on social media, but haven’t shut the phone down yet. She’s also been calling my roommates and they are being good homies and not responding as well. 

Am I the asshole here? I feel like she definitely either lied or never came clean about her sketchy past. In one of her texts to me she said that she was so afraid of losing me and she didn’t know how to tell me (honestly I might not have dated her if I knew what I know now).  I’m going to make an appointment to get tested for STDs and get that taken care of because I’m fucking paranoid. 

Also, I don’t reddit a TON ton and am sketchy on etiquette, does this post need a TL:DR? 
