The title is a lot less detail oriented so hear me out.

My wife and I will have been married 5 years this summer and it falls on the 26th of the month. My brothers birthday is on the 1st of the following month and he is turning 30. His wife wants to do a surprise trip for him with my wife and I and my sister and her husband. My SIL knows that my anniversary is a few days before and is totally trying to compromise so the trip works out well as an anniversary trip as well. The plan is for my wife and I to pick the destination, go there and spend a few days alone together, then my siblings will come down the following weekend to finish off the trip. 

My wife is saying how she feels like our anniversary is unimportant to me and the trip is all about my brother and his birthday. Which it will be, for 3 days at the end. The rest of the time we'll be alone enjoying our anniversary. She's making planning it very difficult because she keeps saying how I'm putting everyone else before her which isn't the truth. I'd understand if we weren't choosing the destination and having alone time, but the fact is that her and I are picking where we all go, and we'll be alone for a good amount of time before everyone else comes. 

Now for the fun part. My wife's mother apparently booked a timeshare in the Caribbean for the week of our anniversary for the entire family and invited us along. My wife jumped at the opportunity about how much fun it would be, and I told her that hurts my feelings. She's willing to go spend the entire week with her family, but somehow the idea of spending a few days AFTER our anniversary with my family is somehow making her feel unimportant? I told her we can split the time between the spot with her family and then jump to wherever my family goes, but she wasn't having that either. She's unwilling to compromise.

I got very frustrated and told her she can feel free to go with her family, but I'm not going and she can stay home while I go for my brothers birthday party weekend. AITA for trying to combine the trip with my brothers birthday party and making my wife feel unimportant?