Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I will try to keep it short while getting the full story. Married about 9 years to only woman I ever loved. 3 years ago she complained that I was no longer affectionate to her and never was really romantic. I didn't desagree and tried to make improvements but we would get into a cycle of me being really affectionate for a few weeks or months and then it tapers of and she gets upset and I say sorry and start again etc etc.

I am a pretty reserved guy so I know I don't consciously mean to show less affection but I believe her when she says I do. Fyi this does not mean I ignore her i think it is more the compliments on looks and sensuality towards her that becomes an issue.

So 2 years ago I found that she cheated on me once with a random guy. I threaten to leave she begs me to stay and we get marriage counseling. We do this for about 1.5 years and I really see that she wants to be with me and after many months of counseling we start to groove really well and it's great. Then seemingly about 5 months ago she says she cant do it and doesn't feel any romantic love to me. She wants to try a separation, I say ok and we physically separate for 2 months. She then said that it is her issues that she needs to solve and no longer blames me and promises that she wants only me and that she will be more understanding.

Ok we get back together but I am really hurt and show little affection and have sex maybe once on the weekends but it is awkward and mechanical. But still i slowly open up and feel more comfortable and better, because she seems totally cool with me taking my time and letting me be me.  And she really shows lots of love and tenderness to me. But of course my affection is nothing near that which it was even before we had trouble together!

And then last night she freaks out and asks me why I don't show more affection. More lusting after her, more sexy talk, more passion in foreplay, more of everything.  Like she really freaks out, even throwing things.

She has been very loving to me in the past months and on a friendship level we get along very well. But the intimacy is shattered in my view and I want her to be patient while I see the good in her instead of painful memories. AITA for taking this long?