This might be a quite long, complicated, uninterresting adolescent story. I just put a big part of it in brackets, you don't have to read it to get the point, but I feel like it's less abrupt with these optionnal bits.

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About three years ago I told a girl I loved her, and was answered that she didn't love me. I reacted as I could, so I basically went crying, but within a few days, the situation got less awkward, and we kept being friends.

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**(**The next year was a bit complicated for me by the fact that she was in a class with all our common friends. So I just felt a lot lonelier that I would have wanted, but nobody's fault, right?  It was a bit hard, but I got through it.

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The following year reversed the situation, and I got in the class with all of the friends, and she got the class where she was alone. Consequently, she had to make the moves not to be isolated, as I had to do. I took profit of that to get a closer friend to her, not only because I was in love, but because I felt like she would be alone otherwise, and most importantly, I just liked her personnality. Anyway, along with another friend of ours, we formed a small 3 people group inside the big group, and got a lot closer together. 

By the mid-year, they two noticed that something bothered me: I was still in love with her, and just didn't want to tell her, in order to prevent her from being embarrassed or having to be nicer to me or anything. So I jut told her. And she said it was perfectly fine, she didn't minded about it and she just wanted me to find another girl to love in order to be happy.

We discussed about it a lot afterwards, because from this point, I just couldn't keep a sadness for me which was both irrationnal and easy to sort for her. She told me she was lesbian too, that prevented me from being jealous, but that's not the point at all. 

From there, she wore a big part of my sadness whenever I was sad, because she knew she could help me. It's been to the point she even accepted to hug me whenever I needed to, and I needed it on a daily basis, of course. But don't get me wrong, I didn't see it nor a way to satisfy any need of sensuality, nor as forcing. I mean, I saw that as a way to be happier on short term in order to be a happy person for my friends who, I felt, needed someone happy. And it wasn't forcing either, I just asked everytime for a discussion or a hug when I felt I could use it, and she just gave them to me, saying it wasn't making her incomfortable any time I asked, which was often.

She ended up telling me she couldn't stand the whole hug-thing anymore around 2 months after starting it. I acctepted to stop right away, a bit angry she lied to me all along, but now she was honest, so it was fine.

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Summer came, and I started to feel really miserable, isolated for no reason etc. I started thinking about suicide too, mostly because of this one side love. I told a lot of friends about these dark ideas, but they would never really keep a long conversation I felt I needed. So I ended up talking to her, and she made me promise not to do "anything stupid", I promised.**)**

In the course of summer, we spent a week together(, all three of us). I took profit of a night where we were just two to tell her about how I felt, and I found something to replace the hugs: telling her why she was a great person to me. Naturally, like for the hugs, I asked her wether I could, wether it was useful etc... and she told me yes, so I just did that.

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This year, we are in the same class. And we sat next to each other. We were really close, and both happy, as far as I could tell. I did went to see a therapist, for I didn't want to tell her about my problems, but it seemed useless to me. One day, she just sent me a message to tell me not to compliment her ever again, or anything approaching. She wouldn't explain nor expected apologies or an answer. I got desparate for an hour. I felt this was a great way for me to get better, and was really bitter that she lied to me again. I couldn't really see how I was going to handle my despair now. I asked her to call me, just to help me getting through that harsh hour or so. She just said no. I thought that was fair, she had the right to say no, and I didn't want to force her. But, seeing how hard it was going to be, I felt like I would have to face the question of suicide before getting throught if completely/ I told her I took back the promess I had made. She must have felt bad about it and called me, crying. We spoke for like an hour and went to sleep. I was more or less ready to keep it all on me from now on as I had previously did.

The next day, she didn't show up in class. And I was called to the provisor's office in order to clarify with them what had happened the previous night. Her mother had complained about me, or was scared for both her daugther, who I was weighting upon, and for me, for being suicidal. 

The next week, I discovered that 1) she wouldn't talk to me anymore (it's actually her parents who forbid her) 2) I had essentially lost all of our common friends, which went with her.  From this point, I was basically alone for a week. 

There had been hollydays when we talked to each other for the first time again. It had been 3 weeks. I was thrilled with the fact that I could see my friends again, but now, something's different. I am out of most of the message groups, which turn out to be essential for the social life ouside of school. Yet, it's gradually getting better.

Question is: Am I an asshole, taking profit, even without being aware of it, of the weakness of a friend to avoid going foward?

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Quick résumé: A girl that had rejected me accepted to hear me complain about how much I sufferred of our relation, but lied to me in order to handle more that she could. She ended up not wanting to handle everything anymore, and that made me talk to her about suicide, which shook her a lot.