Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : A lot of backstory, but I feel it#s necessary.  


My GF and me have been a couple for some years now but we have never lived together for more than one or two months as we study in different cities. She has an eating disorder in that she is extremely picky about her food and afraid of eating things she hasn't eaten before. The basics are fine (potatoes in all forms, rice, noodles, pizza), there are a few vegetables that are fine and very few forms meat (sausages, salami). In terms of sauces really there's only ketchup, for potatoes, rice, noodles, self-made pizza, you name it.  


Especially for warm meals this is a problem since there's barely enough meals that she eats and I see as a full meal to fill a whole week. When she's on her own she eats something like toast with fried eggs which to me is not a full meal but at best a snack. So when we are together usually I cook for myself and make some extra potatoes for her which she will eat with ketchup.

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I really like cooking but I live on my own and often can't motivate myself to cook for me alone. So it already bothers me we can't cook together (since she also has a problem with touching or smelling a lot of food). Also this is really annoying when we are not at home since I'll always have to limit myself to some place that offers something she eats. When going to any restaurant we need to make sure it has salami pizza, otherwise she won't come as she has nothing to eat.

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Now she is very secretive about this and doesn't tell other people. Her parents and siblings know of course, but not even her aunts/uncels or her grandma (at least not "officially", I don't know how far they are actually aware). Even for the first 6 months that we were together I had no clue about it. Only when she really could not escape it she began to tell me but it took another 6 months or so until she told me about the extent.

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She knows this bothers me, she sees why and agrees she wants to change it since it is very unpleasant for her as well and complicates a lot of social situation where she'd for example meet friends. She'd often rather not meet up with them or join later than having to eat with them. There was some progress in the last couple of years (she doesn't mind other food touching hers as much anymore, there's some food she now eats regularly which she hasn't eaten before, she feels less anxiety when trying certain new stuff etc), but still nowhere close a healthy behaviour or diet.

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Whenever I get something to eat I'd ask her if she wanted some, but 99% of the time she'd decline. I'm a bit bummed every time again but I understand that pressuring her won't do any good, so I leave it at that. At times tho it might happen tho that I ask her beforehand if trying some meal was fine for her and when she agrees I usually insist on her eating it. But sometimes once I'm/we're done cooking she'd change her mind and get mad at me when I point out she agreed to try it beforehand, accusing me of pressuring her too much.

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As she is studying now and no longer lives with her parents she gets to meet friends more regularly as they also live closer by now. One particular friend she meets a lot and I know he also enjoys cooking a lot. The first thing that bothers me is that she had less of an issue telling him about her eating disorder. But I assume this may be because now that they meet often they get into such situations more often, giving her less room to keep it secret.

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What really got me recently was that he invited her for dinner for a meal I know she has never eaten before and which I even made myself before multiple times and offered her, but she declined every time. However when he invited her she accepted and ate with him without any big issues.

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So after she told me I asked her what the difference was between me and him offering her dinner (as she could have just as easily declined his invitation). She could not find any reason and to be honest this annoys me. I can't even put into words why exactly this bugs me so much. I guess it is that I feel she has a lot more trust (?) in him with this. On one hand I am of course happy for her overcoming this issue a bit more but I feel really unrespected (for a lack of a better term), that what I try to help her with actively for several years now get less results than someone else just casually inviting her to a dinner I know she'd usually surely decline. After telling her about how I feel about this she got understandably mad as she didn't feel like I'd appreciate her progress.

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AITA for feeling this way?