Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Meet my mother (when I was A child)

* She used to emotionally blackmail me as a child into loving the music she enjoyed. Forced my to 'love' playing the violin for 14 years, claiming it would make her mentally ill if I did not. She pretended to have anxiety issues when I listened to any but her approved music Mozart, Händel, Beethoven.
* She refused to accept any girlfriend I have ever had telling me I was better than the 'too common', 'asian', or 'too Catholic' girls I dated. But when I did not date anyone told me that she would never date a loser like me.
* She insisted at my wedding to tell everyone that she did not approve of my wife and cried several times. The wedding had to be in her tiny village when I by then lived in a different country and most guests had to travel far to get there.
* She refused to attend the reception we held in my wife's home country claiming health reasons that suddenly started when we got engaged. 
* When she learned that aged 20 to 24 I suffered severe depression and had suicidal thoughts and saw a therapist, the only thing she asked was for me to assure her that the therapist did not blame her.
* visited me 2 times in over 15 years of me moving away away from home to an nearby country. She was retired throughout while I visited two to 4 times per year and every Christmas even if it meant my wife had to celebrate by herself because she could not get time  off work.
* She kept telling me she told me so when my wife did not become pregnant within a year after getting married even though I am dead set on not having children.

Now this said mother is suffering from dementia now and I am visiting again for Christmas. We, my dad, her, and I went to see a musical of 'A Christmas Carol'. 

I really dislike musicals or anything in a theatre as it's the sort of thing I had forced down my throat as a child whilst prevented from going to the cinema or any pop/rock music concert. But I agree to go along because it makes her happy and could well be her last Christmas.

I cried a lot mostly because I realized how my mother had never loved me unconditionally, how she had made me care for her anxiety issues about my dad leaving her or told me I had to help her get  a divorce as a chld.  I cried because I knew my mother is too far down the dementia route to ever understand how I felt and how she had made my wife's life a living hell. 

My dad who had enabled her antics all my childhood and who would scold me if I said infront of her how I really felt asked me after the show if I had cried. 

My reply was "I did but not tears if happiness" and that I'd prefer not to talk about it. His response is "you are an asshole".

Am I?
