AITA for thinking my boyfriend is shit at art?

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My boyfriend has been pursing a career in art and animation for practically the entirety of our relationship (6+years) and has gotten nowhere. He went to a fancy art school where he worked his ass off for his degree (went to community college first, worked the entire time he was at school, went to food closets, was homeless on and off living out of his car, ect). After we both graduated, we moved in together and I went to get my masters and he went to work in food service. He's been stuck on the idea that he HAS to do animation and hes just waiting for his big break.

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Problem is. He sucks at it.

He hasn't even made an animation!

Yeah his school sucked so much, they didn't even have students make a demo reel. His story ideas are terrible, his artwork is terrible, and it feels like he's done nothing since graduating. I feel terrible for thinking this way and feel like a total asshole for trying to persuade him to seek another career path.

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**My Side:** He won't tell me why he wants to do animation specifically (not even the generic, "I want to make an impact on the world" kind of thing) and complains that the world is out to get him (often saying he suffers from "bad luck" or "god hates me" when I feel like it's his life choices hes making). He complains that the animation industry is cutthroat and works you to the bone and how awful it is. He also complains that art is so hard for him and his hand physically hurts when he even thinks about doing something creative. This all prompts me to say, "If its so terrible and you complain about it so much.... well then why do you want to do it?" and he goes on and on about how he wants to create a cartoon series and that he wants to put his degree to use. Or he comes up with a different disingenuous answer every time I ask.

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Recently, he started working part time so that he could work on his art more... but he hasn't really done much. He thought he could open commissions up to make some money on the side... but no one has even messaged him about it and its been months. He has no online following and complains about that too. I'm having to pay for a lot of things because he only makes enough to pay his bills and rent (I buy food, pay for any kind of date, pay for getting his car fixed, pay him for gas to get to work, ect). I honestly don't mind if he was happy but he hates this job too, and it sounds like it's not the right fit. He will not seek another job or pick up more hours because he thinks he is not qualified for anything outside food service and retail (not true), he doesn't want to do any more schooling or training for another career path, and he wants his next job to be an animation job and that's that.

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He is also dead set on moving in with his former roommate that lives in LA (I really dislike him and think hes super sexist and a general man-child) so they can make their own TV show and pitch it to studios. Problem is, I think this friend is just as depressed and hasn't done shit either so I don't know how moving in with him would help. But he claims they have brilliant ideas (that I think are bad) and he needs to be in the same room to "bounce ideas off each other." (Skype is out of the question apparently??)

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This is stressful for me because he won't say when he is going to move, wont make any plans for it, has no savings for it, and doesn't even know how long he will live out there (six months?? a year??? indefinitely????). I'm trying to find my own way in the world as well and it just feels like his ideas are just outlandish based on his skill. It's making it hard to move forward in life and make plans for the future together. We are close to our thirties now and while we are both the definition of late bloomers, I'm kind of tired of this.

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I am by no means a saint. I have had to change my career path and tried many different jobs out. I'm not doing a job that matches my degree. I've volunteered at a lot of different places and come at my career goals in non conventional ways. I've learned a lot from all of these experiences about what I want to do with my life. When he looks at jobs, if they aren't animation he wont even both applying. He's worked food service, retail, and that's it and only because he needed a paycheck. Never had an internship, never volunteered anywhere, nothing. I asked him if he would like to volunteer someplace now he's working part time and he said, "no that will just take time away that I could be spending drawing."

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He gets very angry and stubborn with me if I mention pursuing a different career path, no matter how gently I say it, and it has been the basis for almost all of our fights.

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**His side:** He often feels like I dislike his art and am not supportive of him. He says that these things take time and he is working on artwork and has made lots of progress. He also says he is applying for lots of jobs and he goes to (expensive!) animation conventions to network with people and recruiters for jobs. He spent $500 on an online skype tutoring course with a well known animator and really hit it off with the guy. He thinks that I just really don't get along with his old roommate and wishes that I did because then we could all move in together. LA is the place to be if you want to do animation and no other city would provide him as many opportunities. Me not supporting him is making things worse in his eyes and he wants me to be a supportive partner.  He blames the world around him and says his lack of money makes it hard to do anything. His computer is 4+years old now and makes it hard to even run photoshop on and that's why he doesn't like to animate or do art as much. He also says it takes him a long time to get his creativity flowing and it takes him too long to draw anything. If he just had more talent, he would have a job already (exact wording from him). He gets distracted while drawing and loses track of time (especially in the morning) making it hard to find time in the day to do anything productive.

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He does suffer from depression and has since childhood. I had to push\* him to go to therapy. He had a lot of negative experiences in the past and was on a crap load of medications that really messed with his affect. Since in therapy he's moved forward a bit, but his therapist is mostly about dealing with his stress and teaching meditation techniques. I also recently pushed him to get medical insurance and see a psychiatrist (and a doctor for the first time since dating). He got diagnosed with ADHD and is somewhat interested in pursuing medication, but is still hesitant because he "doesn't want to become dependent on a pill." and, "I've made it this far without medication, I don't want to lose the coping mechanisms I've learned to deal with it."

\*By push I mean looking up therapists/medical plans and basically laying it out for him or giving him a script of what to say on the phone when he chooses who to call. As with most things regarding his self care, it's a struggle to get him to do it but once he does he appreciates it and is thankful. I know you can't make anyone get help if they really don't want to.

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I am currently looking into doing couples therapy with him.

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He has many redeeming qualities (like being a wonderful supportive partner to me) and is such a smart brilliant person with so many skills. He's great at math, science, and all kinds of other subjects! But his determination and constant failure to get into the animation field have been a strain on our relationship. I feel like a huge asshole because instead of being supportive, I want to discourage him! When he draws me things or asks me to look at his latest work, I just feel upset because it's terrible and he won't get a job with his skills the way they are now.  I understand he is going through some heavy depression, but he's just so stubborn. AITA?

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