Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :  

Hey,

So a quick summary:

I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend, it was wonderful at the start, then things became bad, he started to control me because of my past, accused me of actively cheating, calling me names for my past, being aggressive towards others. Then I wanted to break up and started flirting with another guy and fooled around with him, which was ABSOLUTELY a bad idea and I have told my boyfriend about that and we agreed to stay together, but so his accusations and calling me names continued. I'm not bad about that, it's still something I am unhappy about but it's my fault.

So that's the situation, and here how it's now, some months later:

He keeps on saying I'm cheating, often when I go to work, during work or when I come back. He can see where I am, and because of gps which is not always accurate, he calls me and says "where are you, you're fucking with him right?", etc and when I'm not answering, it's getting a lot worse. But I'm telling me here, I did this, it's my fault, I have to accept it.

What I'm annoyed about is that his mood can change so suddenly, which also happend before I cheated. One moment we are happy and joking, I look at him and hes like "you fucked someone today right?", and then starts to call me asshole etc.

Also I'm saying myself I have to accept that he's calling me names etc, but it does hurt, and I'm thinking of the future and I know he will never stop doing that, so what's the sense of staying with someone I've hurt so much that he will torture me my life with calling me names and sometimes being aggressive towards me?

Something unrelated to the cheating, he is often fighting with other people. When something is not right, he shouts at them. We have a neighbour, who is blocking the entrance for our car, and he instantly gets aggressive, calls him names, shouts at him etc. I tried to talk with the neighbour, but he was getting aggressive towards me for talking with him and trying to discuss the problem. This is the same for anything where someone is not agreeing with him, shouting at him, calling them names etc. He even did this in front of the police once.

I feel like I'm living with an antisocial person, and this makes me feel bad about myself and how other look at me.

I would have left already if this would be always like this, but it's not.

When we're at home, it's all fine, we have some fun together, we can laugh and cuddle. But if something is not alright, like me not cleaning up the room but instead playing games or me not giving him a kiss when he comes back, he's angry and either shouts at me or ignores me and I'm wondering, what his problem might be. That's his favorite two things, either being aggressive and calling me names, or ignoring me and making me wonder what I did wrong again.

And another moment, he's laughing, making fun of what just happend and kisses me. I'm totaly confused by this and can't make my mind up.

I'm thinking of breaking up but I just can't because it's not always this bad, and I fear that if I tell him that I'll break up with him, he cries and says that everything was a joke and that he loves me and then I can't say no.

I feel like that I went to early into this relationship, that I did not get to know the whole site of his. Now I see him being antisocial and aggressive towards neighbors and his family and it's also affecting me.

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So what I want to know is  


AITA if I break up with him now, or do I deserve it because I cheated?  
Or AITA for not breaking up with him, because I do not deserve him?