Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : My sister and I were always quite close - (talked on the phone almost every day, texted), up until 3 years ago when I moved about 1,000 miles away (a 2 hour flight about $50 where we are). I was really nervous to move, but my sister was really supportive and promised she'd come and visit within the weeks of me moving. It didn't feel like a big deal, because we travel to other countries all the time (in Europe) and I come and spend a month in my home country every year (2 x 2 week trips at Christmas and in Summer). I'm 27 and she's 26. It was always just us and my mum after our parents separated, and as we are quite estranged from other family on both sides, I thought we would stay friends and that we were quite a close family unit.

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Around the same time, she moved in with a new boyfriend and I understood that she was busy with that, and we weren't in touch so much anymore. She deleted her Facebook and all other forms of social media, making it hard to keep in touch. She started picking up the phone less, never calling me, and chatting for about 3 minutes and saying she was really busy and had to go everytime we did get the chance to talk. The promise to come and visit within the first year quickly fell through despite every month she was promising to come and visit the next one, as she ended up going on a vacation elsewhere with her partner. 

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After about a year, she said she'd come and visit for my 26th birthday. I was really excited, told all of my new friends in my new town about her, planned what we'd do... and it started getting suspiciously near without hearing plane details (it's hard to keep in touch, since she doesn't use any social media or messaging apps). I called to follow up on the week she promised she was coming and she said she had actually gone on a Mediterranean trip with her partner instead.

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The next year, promises to come were all full again, but I brought it up each time. Each time she'd say I'm being silly and of course she's coming soon, about to book the tickets again etc. Then it turns out her boyfriend's friend is getting married in the US.. again she's decided to go on a trip 6,000 miles away and spend a few weeks across the ocean. I told her I hope she has fun, listened to all the details when we were both visiting my mother and my other (much younger) sister and 'stepfather' on the same day, etc. but did tell her on several occasions how disappointing this is getting when she promised to visit me first and has been on several foreign trips arranged well after the first promise to me.

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We come to this year, and she texted me a few weeks ago saying she'll book a ticket to come as soon as she gets her salary in January, I offered to pay and just told her I'm really excited to show here where I live and what my life is like now so I called her today as it's been a couple of weeks since then and she says she's going on a trip to New York in Spring and as soon as she's done with that, she'll book a ticket to come and visit me. 

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I told her, at this point, I'm really sick and tired of planning a trip which never happens. Hearing that once again she's booked a new trip to New York (on another continent), instead of spending 2 hours on a plane and $50 - $100 to come and see me first for a few days since she's been promising for the 4th year (happened several times in 2016, 2017, 2018 and now 2019) then I want to leave the idea altogether. I told her I'd never bring it up again, that it's given me sleepless nights, and I would appreciate for her to not bring it up again. I told her I can accept the fact that we have grown up and are no longer close, and that it's easier for me to tell people when they ask that I have a sister but we're not at all close. It hurts me when coworkers and friends ask me and tell me it's so strange that nobody has come to see me. I always say I Have a sister who is coming soon, but I've been saying that to the same people for the 4th year now and it's starting to get really embarrassing. I'd rather just say I have a sister but we're not really in touch. 

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My sister has been texting me now saying that she doesn't know why I'm acting weird, she promises she is 100% coming and that I'm acting 'weird' by just telling her to forget it. It's so much easier for me to stop pretending we're still anything like we used to be, because I miss her and I'm honestly quite lonely not having had the chance to show her my new life. I'd rather forget the idea altogether We still get along well when I go and meet her for dinner when I'm in my hometown again, so I considered the idea that her partner is banning her from communicating or that he needs to be the number 1 priority at all times, but I asked her privately a few times and she was offended by the idea. It seems she just really loves him and being a part of his world and visiting his family and friends is just much, much more important to her than her family. Which is fine, but I just wish she'd admit it so I can move on.

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