Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My friend and I have known each other for several years. We met as freshmen in college and were incredibly close until about our second year in graduate school. We spent most of our time together before that point, lived with each other for a decent  amount of time, traveled together, our families know each other, etc.

Graduate school was a tough time for both us. We were both going through hardship, so we leaned on each other a lot during this time. We were increasingly in each other's space, both physical and emotional, which led to her confessing romantic feelings for me. We talked about it a great deal. I wasn't sure how I felt and communicated that, so we both moved on. Things were still comfortable, we continued our friendship as usual, and shortly after she met her fiance.

Her fiance is a wonderful man. He's kind, intelligent, and treats her nicely (which is a plus, because she had dated some jerks in the recent past). He's a real people's person, and overall I enjoy his presence. I went to a couple of bars and concerts with them when they first started dating. He's great!

About a year into dating him, she panicked. I was staying over at her house and she ended up confessing her feelings for me for hours and explaining how confused she was about the situation. She loved her boyfriend, but also me.  She tried to kiss me that night. The next morning, she didn't want to discuss what happened and vowed to never tell her then-boyfriend, now-fiance. She didn't want to tell him about that night, what she said, or the feelings she had, nothing. Okay, that's fine. I told her I was confused about my own feelings, so we promptly set boundaries. This led to us not really talking at all for about a year or so. We left grad school, she moved to another state, I moved to another country.

Now we're in the present. We live relatively far apart and the incident happened years ago. We're both going through stressful situations and have been leaning on each other for support. We haven't discussed what happened in a very long time, but we talk weekly. We share our experiences in our respective homes (we both moved again).

Anyway, they're engaged and though the wedding is yet to be planned (long engagement, he's a medical student), I can't help but wonder if am the asshole for not feeling comfortable with going to the wedding. We had an emotionally charged moment that I know her fiance would not be okay with. He also noticed (long ago) that I wasn't around as much as before, and asked her about it. She didnt mention what happened. I feel like there's a secret there, and that makes me uneasy. But I really do want to support them on their special day.

AITA if I don't want to attend the wedding?

