Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My wife works for a Fortune 500 company. I do a similar job for a non-profit. I like where I work, but the difference in our paychecks is substantial. She said I would be a great fit for the company due to my degree and experience. Her company advertises a great referral program and often hires folks keeping onto overhead projects to make sure that they have good candidates when specific projects come up. One of my spouse's friends is in the hiring department so he arranged an interview.

I had a phone interview with **Diane** and got a follow-up a week and a half later. \[I know these things take time.\] Another week passes before **Diane** schedules an in-person interview, where I will meet three different people: **Tim**, **Doug**, and **Nancy**.

When I arrive, I am taken to a windowless conference room and ask me to wait for **Tim**. Turns out, **Tim** didn't even know about the interview, so after a half hour of waiting, he dialed in to talk about my candidacy. If their job was to see how I handled being thrown a curve ball, I thought I did okay. But two-thirds through the phone call, **Doug** came in. I'm talking to **Tim** on the phone while introducing and shaking hands with **Doug**. I finish my thought with **Tim** and was asked by **Doug** to repeat everything.

**Nancy** comes in when **Tim** hangs up, and so I rehash everything again to both **Doug** and **Nancy**.

I leave the interview less confident than any interview I have ever had, but I heard from **Diane** that the team liked me and would let me know within a week.

A week passed, and I did not hear anything. During the second week, my spouse got sick and I took her to the hospital. **Doug** texted me late in the evening to see how things were going--making a point of saying he took my number off of my resume.

Shortly after, I followed up with **Diane** to reiterate my interest and thank her for helping with the consideration. A full week later, **Diane** finally emailed back and saying they were still reviewing.

It has been over a month since the in-person interviews, and today I got an e-mail from **Diane** with the subject line: "Interview Feedback." Standard rejection email. I hadn't gotten the job. 

The thing is, I actually want to give them feedback. I don't feel like I am owed the job by any means, but between **Diane**'s lapses responding to e-mail inquiries, **Tim**'s *absence from the interview*, and the weird scenario **Doug** texting me about my home life, I feel like the process was a poor reflection on the company.

I had resigned myself to not getting the job long before the final notice, but I do feel like they lost out on a great candidate due to their own bumbling. If I respond with something contrite, like, "Thanks for letting me know. For the benefit of future candidates, I did want to discuss a few uncomfortable situations during the interviewing process...," would I be the asshole?