Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : It’s been a piece of shit year. My husband (8 years together and 2 kids later) and I separated in September this year and the list goes on for a while. I have my 2 kids half the year and it hurts me more and more as the holiday gets closer. 
Regardless of what else, I’ve had a shitty year and I’d be happy if I woke up tomorrow and it was January 2019. 

I have stressed to my family I just want to see my kids in the morning, do Santa and their presents before they go to their dads house for the evening. Then I want to forget the day exists, my plan is to get drunk and paint my bedroom walls. 

My mum keeps asking me what I’m doing and if I’ll drive to see them (4hrs away) or if they can come to me. I’ve stressed no. And she continues to ask me every couple of days if I’ve changed my plans. 
She messages every day without fail. Always has. I’m 25... 
To the point I’ve had to crumble and agree to see her and dad on the 22nd. 

I spent my ex’s birthday in the bathroom toilet at work crying, I can’t imagine Christmas will be any different, if not worse. I don’t exactly want to have to force a smile for them or worse bring them down with me. 
I know their intentions are good and they want me to be with family. 
My friend had a Christmas party which I declined to go for a couple reasons, mainly because I had my kids that weekend and I wanted to have the quality time with them, another because it’s Christmas and the thought of going without my ex made me cry. 
One friend even made a crack that I’m being too over the top and need to just celebrate it and go along. I refused. 
People at work are aware I’ve split from my husband and that I’m having a shit time. I’ve said I’m doing the minimum for Christmas. They attempted to decorate my desk and I said no thanks. 
Usually I’m all for it, but this year I just can’t see the joy. My family is crumbled and whilst I’m thankful I still have my kids and for everything good that has happened I just feel this year I’m not ready for the over the top festivities that is Christmas.. 

Am I the asshole for banning Christmas this year? 