I'm gonna try to keep this short but basically I (19) broke up with my boyfriend (22) of 10 months (my first relationship, his 7th?ish but longest) and I did so while referencing a list that I'd wrote; the list including how he'd been taking out his anger at other things on me and would just say "yeah, sure, fine, you're right" when I showed him proof that I wasn't doing the things he said only to bring them up later, it included the 3 times he didn't stop when I said no, and how he kept pushing me to do sexual things when we agreed that we'd stop because I didn't feel able to say no, an incident where he'd left me alone at his parents house (an hour away from mine) after promising he would help me move out of my parents that weekend because he spontaneously decided he wanted to go to their cottage, gave me 3 broken toes, a concussion, and a black eye accidently by doing unnecessarily dangerous things to me, or just straight up ignoring my wellbeing for his own comfort, refused when I kept asking him to get help for his problems, finally culminating in a month where he told me he didn't know if he wanted to be with me wherein I didn't sleep and had dozens of panic attacks a day because I'd become so isolated I thought he was the best, or the only thing, I'd ever get. The last straw for me was finding out that during that month he'd begun relentlessly flirting with other girls on social media, whether they were interested or not, and was taking another girl on dates near identical to our first dates, all while burying any posts of me under his woodworking and not telling any of them I existed.

&amp;#x200B;

Now, as for why I wrote it all out; any other time we'd fought, he would yell and throw things I'd end up so exhausted from the flashbacks and panic it caused, he'd have a panic attack and I'd drop everything to take care of him even though he never stopped yelling or physically intimidating things, and I'd give up. The next day he'd promise he'd try to do better, and make me laugh and smile even though nothing had been solved. I didn't want to give in without having fixed anything this time so I wrote out the points I wanted to make on my phone and read them off my phone. I wanted him to realize everything that he'd done. I wanted him to never do that to anyone else. I wanted him to realize he needed help, and get better. To be completely honest, a part of me wanted him to try to make it all up to me. 

&amp;#x200B;

I'm not proud of how I handled the breakup, I said a few things I regret (told him to rot when he asked me not to end it), but I agreed to be friends with him like he asked me to. Then, he changed his mind, so I said goodbye and he asked why it had to be "this existential". We've fought twice since the breakup and every time he says something like "why don't you send me the essay you wrote about me being a terrible person and I'll go over it with my therapist". (I know I shouldn't have kept talking to him, but I really wanted to help him get better). I recognize that the list was definitely weird, and probably a Bit Much^(TM), but am I an asshole for what I did?

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**TL;DR: wrote out a list of reasons I was breaking up with my ex because I didn't want to give in without getting it all off my chest and without solving anything as usual, AItA?**