FTP and on mobile (Sorry!). TL;DR included below.


Context:

I was emotionally abused by my mother thought my childhood (especially teenage years), i.e. neglect, control, invalidation, shaming and outright bullying. The result of which is that I have several mental disorders, however, I was looked after materially and financially. I'm no longer on speaking terms with my mother after she kicked me out of the house (presented as an impossible ultimatum so that she can tell family members that I chose to leave) and she refuses to acknowledge I exist apart from what she needs to do to keep up appearances. It's also important to mention that I get mad panic attacks when I know that I'll have to be in the same room as her and that no one in my family acknowledges that she was abusive towards me (but not everyone is fully informed of that fact).


TL;DR my mother emotionally abused me, the result of which is that I have shitty mental health and I get panic attacks whenever I have to see her.


WIBTA if I refused to be in the same place as her and had to force my small family (of 7) to choose who to spend events such as Christmas Eve with?


Apart from my parents, no one else in my family really knew what was happening and they did not contribute to the abuse, so I would be making them suffer for my mother's actions.