Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : This is probably going to be a long one.

I'm a commercial cleaner, I absolutely love my job, it was perfect up until last Thursday. I work on a team with my best friend (Jay), and my boyfriend (Dee), how could it get any better right? Jay has been a close friend for about 6 years and I have been seriously dating Dee for 9 months now.

We drive to 6 accounts on Thursdays, since my car has been down a little over a month now, Dee has been picking us (Jay and I) up from our house. Obviously Jay and I live together and Dee lives about 20mins away from us. 

Here is where it gets interesting, my boyfriend has a decent car, the outside could use some TLC but the interior is immaculate. Dee is a genius when it comes to wiring, so as well as having an awesome sound system he also has the video display up front and we can watch movies on the way to our accounts. 

Jay has been struggling a bit with his alcoholism, he doesn't always drink on the job but occasionally he does, I dont judge as long as you get your work done, keep the liquor out of the accounts, and of course dont break anything. He has worked the better part of the last 6 months with no issues so I had no issue. 

This day though I could see signs that he had a little too much, and I told him, you're cut off from this point. He wasn't happy but obliged, or so I thought. 

Jay asked my boyfriend for his car keys so he could fetch a cleaner we forgot to grab from the car, goes outside and is unseen for 10 minutes, I go out and he is still in the car looking for the cleaner... it was on the floor where we told him it was. In the same back seat he was just sitting in, but for some reason he is sitting in the front driver seat. 

Fast forward to us finishing up the account and leaving, I am the last out because I have alarms to set. I get in the car and see my boyfriend pick up a cigarette that had been set on the dashboard after probably 2 hits and burned down to the filter... We both look at the dash to see a nasty melted gouge. Dee asked Jay if he was smoking in the front seat of the car... No was the response he got. We both look at the cigarette and sure enough Marlboro on the filter, (Dee smokes Newports and I dont smoke at all) Jay smokes marlboros. He asked again, this isn't your MARLBORO cigarette that burned up on my dash? Again no. 
At this point Dee is so angry he asks Jay to get out the car and ride with another team member to our last account. Jay exits and we sit for a second to take in the situation. 

Dee is furious, I get it, he is trying to sell his car, the interior had no damage up until this point. I try talking him down and eventually he does, although he does not want my friend back in his vehicle without an apology or the cash to replace the dash. Not so unreasonable, well Jay decides he is going to avoid Dee, I get it, Dee is pissed. 

Fast forward again, time to go, I was under the impression my other team member would take Jay home, he had messaged me on fb and said he would either ask or uber home. Come to find out he walked an hour and a half home despite the options he had. To add to this he posted on snapchat about how he has to walk home because people are "childish" and "petty". I am pissed when I find this out, because I find out later from my boss and another coworker. 

When Dee and I leave I saw Jay had left his food in the car...or rather in my boyfriend's daughter's car seat directly, and the plate on the floor, I try to hastily clean it up but no, Dee saw it and he came to the back seat to look for more, and starts pulling empty marlboro packs, Naked juice bottles, wadded up paper towel used to clean up some kind of red spill and more garbage from under the seat. These are obvi from my best friend because as I have said before neither of us smoke Marlboros and I know my boyfriend doesn't drink Naked. At this point there is nothing I can do to make Dee reconsider Jay riding with him.

Now I have Jay telling me over Facebook messages that he will make his own way to work. 

Ok then.

On Friday we started a brand new account, so both of my bosses as well as the regional leader is with us. I get to work with Dee and my boss asks where Jay is, I told her what he told me, he was making his own way, then I hear about the snapchat posts, personally I dont use snap but when I was shown the snaps I wanted to snap. My boss calls him and he states we just left him. Now I'm really pissed. My boss leaves to go get him and I tuck my anger down for a later conversation with my best friend. 

Unfortunately we had no time to hash things out right away so I figured at the next account we would sit down and talk. No dice, he asks my boss to take him BACK home, completely behind my back, to the point that I didnt know he was leaving until I got to the next account. I message him asking why he would do this, he tells me he's not getting in between me and my boyfriend, I told him this is not the case, there is nothing I can do for him concerning Dee and his car and how he should've come to him as a man and apologize. Jay goes on about how important Dee is to me and how this isn't my problem and he will do what he has to do from this point. I said yeah Dee is important to me, but so are you so man tf up and talk to this man before he decides he doesn't want an apology anymore.

The whole weekend goes by and Jay says nothing to me, we live in the same house yet had no interaction, so when today rolls around I do what I always do, get my things together and wait for Dee to call me and say he is here. When I leave I see Jay's room has no light and did not see him elsewhere in the house so I assumed he was already gone and leave. Minutes after leaving, I get a text saying how he wanted to apologize and how could we just leave him behind...

This is where I snapped, I told him straight up that I didnt even know he was in the house and if he really wanted to apologize to Dee he would've either asked me for his contact info over the weekend or been on point watching for him to pull into the driveway. Personally if it were me and my job on the line I wouldn't have bothered with shoes I would've gotten out there to speak my peace. He gets sassy with me about his walk home, and I told him he walked home because he wanted to, he could've just as easily apologized or asked the other team member (she was actually pissed he didn't ask her). I told him straight up that his priorities were screwed up and he needs to grow up and take responsibility for his choices, and that people aren't going to wait around to hold his hand through things. 

Then I started in on his snapchat posts I was getting hounded about by our office gossips who were trying to get all the juicy details of the story...

I asked him if Dee was petty for bringing him to work everyday without asking for gas money or even getting a thank you in return, yes he comes for me because I'm his girlfriend but in all reality he doesn't have to bring my friend too. Was my boyfriend petty every time he made pit stops so you could get your cigarettes or liquor, or take you to the store? I got no answers to this question, so I told him I wasn't going to be a member of his pity party. He states he didn't want a pity party, and I told him obvi you want pity cause you asked for it all over snapchat where our co workers can see and continue to message me about. 

I'm not sorry for telling him to grow up and be a man (hes 32) but I do wonder if I am an asshole in this.
