Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :  

I (M26) and my boyfriend (M26) have known each other 2 years, together 1.5. Shortly after we first met he was diagnosed with HIV. I've been on PrEP for years already and he started treatment/became undetectable very quickly so \*for me\* it's not a huge issue and his status isn't a factor in how I see him/how much I want to be with him.   


We both knew and talked about the fact he'd need some time to emotionally process his diagnosis and that he wouldn't feel comfortable having sex for a while even though in his head he knew there was no risk to me. However, 2 years after his diagnosis he still tells me he's not ready to have sex or do more than cuddle on the couch (we don't even make out; just quick pecks). I've regularly initiated conversations with him to "check in" about how he feels, how he's handling his positive status, and encouraged him to speak to a therapist to help him work through his feelings and blocks (which he has so far refused to do). I've told him I am always there for him, but understand if he's reluctant to dump all his emotions on me.

Additionally, he's still in the closet to pretty much everyone and despite asking him several times he's yet to introduce me to anyone in his life (meanwhile he's met most of my friends and been with me to my parent's house twice). Only \~3 of his friends know he's bi, but he is not at all out to his work, majority of friends, or family. He's afraid of being rejected/disowned which I understand; but at a certain point he has to choose whether to live for himself or for their approval. I knew going into the relationship he wasn't out; but he also told me he'd work on coming out and so far he hasn't.   


I've made it a point to address both these issues with him every couple months (at least) and every time he's told me he will work on things; but nothing has changed in 1.5 years. Around Christmas I told him that I was reaching a breaking point; I didn't feel it fair to set a "deadline" but I let him know that him still not being out to anyone, me knowing no one in his life, and the utter lack of physical intimacy were all getting really hard for me to deal with and I wouldn't wait forever. He told me he understood and that I was being very fair.   


Three months have passed and still nothing has changed. I feel like I've been more than patient and more than reasonable and yet I can't shake the feeling that leaving would make me TA because in many ways our relationship is great. But, as a healthy gay man in my mid 20s I also want an active sex life and not to feel like my partner is ashamed of himself and our relationship by him lying about who he is to his family/friends and hiding me from them.