This is kind of piggy-backing on the locked thread from the other day of the guy whose fiance won't eat his cooking.

[https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/af3x7l/aita\_for\_being\_upset\_when\_my\_fiance\_wont\_eat\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/af3x7l/aita_for_being_upset_when_my_fiance_wont_eat_my/)

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My case is slightly different, so I really don't know if I'm the problem here or not. We've been married about 8 years. More importantly, I don't know what perspective is the healthiest to take on this.

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Example: tonight, my wife (47), mother-in-law, son (5) and I (45) are getting ready to have dinner. Like the previous poster, I do enjoy cooking; I like to experiment and hate using recipes. Sometimes, I lose- big time, but usually, I can do a pretty good job of making something delicious and healthy.

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Anyway, about a year ago, my son (5yr) was diagnosed Celiac, and about 6 months after, I figured out that my 30 year gut problem is an IBS caused by onion, garlic, and all kinds of other foods containing fructans. Those foods containing gluten (a protein) also have these fructans (a sugar), so wheat, barley, rye- my son and I both get hit. 

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I don't think my problem goes beyond serious, explosive, burning, toilet discomfort for a couple days, but my son truly will have problems if he ingests more than a sugar packet's worth of gluten in a year (put your knife in peanut butter, wipe it on your 'regular' bread, go back to the peanut butter jar with the knife, guess what's now in the peanut butter- whatever kind of bread you spread it on next).

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Anyway, as soon as I found out about my son's celiac, I cleaned the house of gluten. Anything remotely suspect, I put in boxes intending to give away. Wife came home; within an hour most everything was back on the shelves. Perhaps I over-reacted, I'm not sure.

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Fast forward about 8 months. We now often just prepare three meals for dinner. My son, being five, well he'd likely get his own meal in any case, not just because the gluten thing, but also, he's five.

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My wife though, she insists on buying both regular and gluten-free, well just about everything.  So, we have gluten, and gluten-free peanut butter, gluten and gluten-free butter, gluten and gluten-free breads. Still gotta use the same toaster and all though. She made pizzas the other day using her bread-maker. One gluten-free pizza for the boy and I, a 'regular' one for her and our guests. Using the same bread-maker she'd been using for years. A sugar packet's worth of the gluten molecule, remember. But maybe I'm over-reacting.

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Anyway- things are settling to where I cook meals and my wife does dishes/cleanup (I hate dishes- hate it- and I do it 'wrong' anyway too often). She'll still make meals occasionally too.

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Now, my wife has a thing with beef- I can't pin down her reason though, because it often changes. For years, the reason was that cows produce methane, take up too many resources, bad for environment, etc. But then I pointed out her milk drinking habit, and the fact that there were more buffalo in North America before the slaughter than there are cows now, and that they share a similar physiology, etc. So now her reason seems to have switched to that it 'makes her feel bad'. Though I still hear the environmental piece from time to time. She has no problem with other meats- birds, pigs, fish, not much a fan of lamb or goat though.

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But she'll eat the beef pot pies her mother makes. And she'll eat beef other times at her parents' house, or at other's houses.

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So tonight, I go to make dinner for myself, my wife and my mother-in-law.  I decided to season some ground bison (having this onion/garlic thing, I've got to create all my own seasonings from scratch- EVERY seasoning mix has onion or garlic powder). Then I put it over rice and made a tomato-cucumber-corn salsa to put over top of that (because, again- I defy you to go find a salsa without onions or garlic).

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And it's good- it's really, really good. But my wife won't have any of it. Because I used the bison ground beef. She said last time she tried it, she had too much and it made her feel bad.  So instead, we just get in each other's way in our cramped kitchen while she prepares an entirely different meal using nothing I had prepared tonight except the rice. The meal she decided to have was my leftover veal-tomato-sweet potato crock pot disaster that I don't intend to have another bite of myself, I'm so disappointed with it.

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In any case, when the meal was over, my mother-in-law said, 'Thanks, that was good.'. And I said, 'Thanks, I'm glad somebody enjoyed it." My wife said, "You didn't like it?" I said, "No, it was great!".  She again said something about how last time she tried the bison she, 'Didn't feel good'. Then she proceeds to take another bite of the vegetables she'd picked out of the crock pot veal leftovers. Knowing full well that veal is cow.

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This kind of behavior, is regular. When she makes me salads with the bitter, yucky plant leaves I just don't like, I eat them. I might complain a little, but I don't just make my own meal instead.

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So folks, AITA for sitting here feeling bad because I live in a family that has to have three separate meals on a regular basis? Is this any different than the previous poster's situation with his fiance? Should I do more to cater to her choices of food items, when my son and I have diagnosed medical problems associated with foods that she refuses to adapt her own eating and grocery habits to?

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Please ask for clarifications if you need them- I'm not looking for validation here- I really don't know if I'm an asshole or not.

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TL:DR- Wife prefers not to eat beef. I make family meals and will use bison or beef (usually bison if I can find it) maybe once a week or every other week, but my wife won't eat it and just makes her own meal instead. My son and I have diagnosed/medical food issues, but she brings the offending foods home anyway. AITA?

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