Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : TL;DR: had an anxiety attack at my own going away party which led me to being quiet/on my phone, leading to coworker sending me a long message about how rude I was

I quit a job I had for about two years. My coworkers were basically like family. I planned something two weeks in advance where everyone would meet up somewhere for dinner. My Facebook invite said about 15 people were coming so I made the reservation the night of, after confirming this with those who I invited. The day of, one by one, people started cancelling on me saying they couldn’t come. The thing is, they told me they couldn’t come around an hour before or even an hour after the time we were at the restaurant. It was embarrassing having to tell the hostess I didn’t need the extra tables anymore. I was having an anxiety attack and was having a hard time focusing. I made this vocal to my coworkers who I was with. I was also texting my coworker who was my best friend at the time and telling her I was nervous because no one was here. I did enjoy the company of my coworkers who were there. We had good conversation. But I was still glued to my phone unfortunately trying to figure out the situation of people coming or not. My friend texted another coworker for me who she is friends with and asked her if she was going. Somehow she convinced her and my other coworker and their friend to go. They showed up an hour and a half into the night. 

They immediately began complaining about the prices. They ordered some food and tried it and said it was disgusting. I was quiet at this time because I was kind of emotionally freaking out. I joked about leaving at some point of the night which I understand is very rude. I vocalized how anxious I was to everyone but I didn’t let that stop me from trying to enjoy my time with everyone for my last day. 

Anyways, we pay our checks and we all leave. I go home to my apartment, glad it’s all over, then I get a looong message from my coworker who showed up later, from her friend who she brought with her. 

It said different things like “You’re such an awful host I didn’t even want to go to your stupid party but [coworkers name] made me.” And it was calling me rude, saying I was “whack” and stuff like that. This upset me a lot of course. The next day I had to pick up my last paycheck too which made me have even more anxiety. I also told my friend about it and she was defensive against me saying i should’ve coped better, which I agreed. 

My other coworkers who were there said they understood I was having anxiety. I showed up to get my paycheck and I apologized face-to-face with everyone who was there. The girl whose friend sent me that message told me “I didn’t even notice you were being rude.” which is obviously not true otherwise she would’ve told her friend not to send me that. Anyways it was an awful way to leave a place I worked for for 2 years but my old manager still invites me to hangout and everything so I’m not as concerned anymore. 

I still feel really bad about the whole situation and I wish I could’ve been less selfish in that moment. Am I the asshole here? Should i have found a better way to engage my guests and be less selfish/not have freaked out the moment things went wrong? 