Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : So, first of all.. I want to get this off my chest: I will make this post gender neutral as I really don't want people taking sides based on sex/gender.  


Me and my Significant Other have been living together for 5 years and are getting married next year (yay!). A peculiarity of my SO is their family weak spot. If their family requests money, then bam... money is given away, if their family DOES NOT ask for money but call my SO directly and say ''I need to pay some bills'', then my SO takes it as a queue indicating that money has to be given.   


My SO has told me stories about how there was a necessity to start working at 16 and helping family when a money shortage was in place, but instead my SO's debit, credit or Groceries card (we receive Grocery Bonus cards that allows us to pay for groceries on top of our regular paycheck, super normal here) were taken away by their family so they could manage the expenses, instead. Long story short, when my SO gave them the credit card to fix a car problem they never paid the debt back and ruined my SOs credit score, we moved in together soon after that, but my SOs family keeps demanding money passive aggressively by guilt tripping my SO.   


A couple of days ago, my SO received a yearly Christmas bonus which is given by law in our country which was used to buy a much needed laptop for school and still had money to spare for other expenses. My SO came back home one day and this statement came up while we were talking about our day: ''I saw mom and gave her 500bucks'' I was appalled and just responded with a ''WHAT?, WHY?'' and the only response I got was ''She said she needed money''. I said it was very inconsiderate to just give 500 bucks away without checking with me first.. not because it's only my SOs money, but because we are a couple and not taking financial decisions together has often caused hardships with our budget. Realizing there was nothing we could do and how money was lost, I let it go and kept doing my daily things.  


Unfortunately, today my SO came back home and said ''I need to go to home depot and buy Christmas Ornaments and lights'' and I asked how come since we didn't have a plan to buy a Christmas tree.. and my SO said ''My mother asked me to buy them because she wants to put up a tree and have my niece see her first Christmas Tree''. I snapped at that moment and said it was a stupid decision to take yet again without checking in with me to see if I was okay with it or not, specially after giving 500 dollars away which I know we are never getting back and how money keeps being throw away and that's why we've been having so many issues with bills lately. I let my SO know that they should just stop spending money without telling me about it because of all the bad decisions that are being taken recently concerning money.  


I explained that their family is being incredibly inconsiderate for asking money time after time, and it's not our fault my mother in law doesn't have a job and doesn't want to get a job worth a damn and we should not cover her needs in spite of having a husband who should be taking care of her instead of asking my SO to budget in expenses that do not belong to us. I told my SO to talk to my mother in law and tell her to get a damn job instead of leeching off a couple who is trying to get married and stop asking for money all the time. My SO refused, so I called my mother in law and tried to talk to her by saying we can't give any more money and how she should have thought twice before blowing out the 500 my SO gave her.   


Needless to say, it is kind of a shit storm, but I am just way too tired of my SOs family taking advantage of my SO, and my SO not accepting how these decisions are being taken way to lightly and as a couple, we should BOTH be taking them.   


Am I the asshole here? :/ 