My 70 year old grandmother has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease over ten years ago. She has been in a nursing home for seven years now (my parents and I live abroad and couldn't take her in). My mom (her daughter) visits her anytime she can but my brother and I have stopped visiting her five years ago.

The reason being that the last couple of times we saw her she didn't recognise either of us, had no recollection of having grandkids, and (it's part of the disease) she was quite aggressive/weird with us. I stopped seeing her at the age of 17 because I felt like it wasn't the grandmother I knew anymore. She had forgotten who I was but I didn't want to *strain* the memory I have of her.

Our parents always said they understood and respected our choice, especially since her condition has only gotten worse with time. She can't get of bed and only recognises my mom now. 

However, today my dad was looking through photos on his phone and showed me a picture of my grandmother in her nursing home bed and said *"you guys are really not nice for not wanting to see her anymore."*

It might be considered unethical reasoning but I feel like our grandmother has been gone for a while but her body is still here... And I don't want my last memory of her to be of someone who doesn't recognise me and that I don't either. 

Are my brother and I the assholes for not going anymore?