Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : TLDR: My mother only ever buys gifts indirectly for herself, or so it seems.

Tonight I visited my mother and younger brothers at their house. While there my mother dropped a wrapped gift in my lap and insisted I open it then and there despite previously made plans for me to host Christmas at my new house with everyone. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.

The gift inside was a hideous purple Wal-Mart dress not in my size. The texture of the fabric immediately made me want to scrub my hands. I admit I could have reacted more enthusiastically. I just did not have the energy in me to fake it. 

My mother was obviously upset at my less than ecstatic reaction. She got very flustered and told me I was free to return it but she did not have a receipt for the item and couldn’t I just try to like it?  Couldn’t I just try to appreciate her taste in gifts for once?

This sounds like making a mountain out of a molehill but this has been a pattern for a long, long time. Previous gifts have included; dollar store jewelry that causes me to break out in a rash (multiple years, multiple conversations on why she never saw me wear it), lipgloss that she had opened and liked, etc. Nearly every time she will take the gifts back for herself under the guise that at least someone (herself) will get use out of it.

It would be one thing if these things came from an acquaintance that did not know me that well. But my mother has known me for 29 years. She was there growing up as the cheap costume jewelry she insisted I wear kept causing infections in my ears, she was there when as a toddler I would scratch myself bloody over clothing textures, she has never in my entire life seen my voluntary wear makeup.

I put a lot of thought into the gifts I give. I shop through the year, never leaving things to the last minute. I keep a list on my phone of things people in my life mention they like or would buy for themselves if they could justify the spending. 

I know I shouldn’t hold other people to the same standards I hold myself to. I know I should have just sucked it up and acted my heart out and quietly donated the dress later. But I could use some perspective and maybe some advice. Reddit, am I the asshole for hating the gifts my mother gives me?

