Hi everyone, firstly I love my girlfriend more than anyone else; I can honestly say she is an amazing and beautiful woman. We’ve been together around 8-9 months and we where best friends before for about 5ish years. 

However..... the one huge issue is she is religious, she come from a Muslim family/upbringing and I’m from a mainly atheist one. While I have no issue with religion, I’ve never really found any reason to follow it and I kinda think in this age it does more harm than good. I love her and i told her I’d do anything for her; including converting (I have to convert to be with her, or else we couldn’t be together). I tried to look into religion with an open mind but every time I think about it I feel sick; I just think it’s kinda wrong (please not tryna upset people here, it’s just my personal opinion) 

So now I’m at the stage where I’m beginning to doubt we can work; I feel like I could either be with her and live a lie as a Muslim, and raise Muslim kids or we could go our separate ways and I’ll feel destroyed and also immensely guilty for hurting her, and it would hurt her badly. She is my best friend and I said I could become religious for her but after looking into it I can honestly say to me at lest none of it makes sense. 

On top of this I’m gunna move out from home soon (I’m 24 and just graduated; about to start my career) and my gf desperately wants to get married- as she feels sinful being with me, I said I’d be okay with getting married soon but thinking about becoming Muslim makes me feel desperately unhappy. Part of me thinks it too soon as well. 

So am I the asshole for feeling this way, I feel torn between the woman I love who I want to be with but it comes with the caveat of following something I struggle to believe in. I feel like to be with her I’d be living a lie. I truly wanted to embrace the religion but I couldn’t and now I’m lying to her that I’m okay with it.  