So my roommate has been pretty lazy in terms of doing her dishes, cleaning up scraps she leaves around the kitchen, and leaving laundry in the machine for days allowing the machine to get a funky smell with wet clothes sitting in there. She seems to have a problem with following through with these things. 

I was frustrated at her, talked to my other roommate about it. Then my other roommate, who agreed with me wanting to set house rules to not let this continue, told her that I had been talking about her to him. AITA for “talking behind her back”? I think it is fair for me to ask my other roommate if any of the dishes were his before telling her or wanting to set up a meeting. I think I was a bit more frustrated and showed that to him, since I did let it build up a little bit instead of telling her right away. Except I didn’t want to have the conversation over text and she always seemed to be busy and running to hang out with her bf or ex or whatever. I think it’s okay to except someone who works from home to be able to do their dishes before they pile up to double the sinks depth! 

Anyway, she ended up texting me asking why I am mad at her and unfortunately the conversation happened over text. Lots of drama later, Ended with her saying she understands but then that she is upset with me because I don’t reciprocate things she does for me around the house. We are friends, and she has been making my dinner some nights a week— just for me since she has already eaten and I didn’t necessarily need her to prep any food for me. I don’t have much else to reciprocate and it felt kind of weird that she was doing that and expecting something out of me. 

She also thinks I’m rude for asking her this straight up instead of just hinting at it or making a joke about it like “clean up the dishes would ya?” To keep it light hearted or whatever. I love joking around but not when it comes to house rules, I’m not your mom and I don’t want to have to fill that role. 

AITA for not offering to make her food after working all day and just wanting to relax and have some peace and quiet? I don’t want this to end bad between us, honestly. And just want to live in peace in a clean home. 