Just had a fight with my SO because of what I told our daughter about "legit violence". Going to roll the story out as short as possible.

So there's this kid in my daughters day care. He's the same age but often shows some strange behaviour. Overall he's a cool little brat and I actually like him for being somewhat rebellious, mostly because I think his parents are crazy helicopter parents. Anyway. My daughter told me that this kids greets her every day way "too hard" e.g. hugging her uncomfortably long and forceful. Sometimes he kisses her in this situation. She says that sometimes she laughs it off and thinks it's funny but sometimes she really doesn't want it and he won't stop even if she yells at him. I saw those "greetings" some times and know what she means. 

She already told the teachers but they barely see it happen and the other kid won't stop it even after being told by the adults. 

So basically I told my daughter that it's totally okay to push someone away in such a situation. I said if someone hurts her and won't stop even when she screams at him to do so, when the other kid forces kisses upon her and so on, it's absolutely fine to push him away. 

I watched her thinking for a few seconds, then she replied "but he might push back or beat me if I do this". I simply told her "then you push him back again and/or run away and tell an adult".

My SO overhears our conversation and told me I'd be wrong here. That it's always better to tell the teachers and not use violence at all. I said I didn't tell our daughter to beat random kids up (and we are very straight in raising our daughter concerning violence to other kids) but to use legit force in a situation where someone violently forces himself on her. I think our daughter is old and clever enough to recognize the difference.

AITA?