I have a pet which requires an inordinate amount of care and needed a pet-friendly place when I moved. 

I located somewhere an hour and a half away. When I told this to a friend, he went away and found me an offer with a shorter commute which did not allow pets. I refused it. He asked: would I take it if *he* kept ‘Snuffles’ and I came over to his house to look after her? He said he could put her in the dining room and give me a key.

I was appreciative but refused again. I emphasised just how much work went into looking after Snuffles. I would need to be there for *a* *minimum* *of two hours every single* *evening* playing with her, cleaning, preparing food, dealing with medical issues and clearing any mess she made. She is lovable, but also noisy, destructive, demanding and not house trainable. No matter what I said, he insisted it would be fine and that he’d put up with it. He said verbatim that *he and his wife never used the dining room outside of special occasions and would only insist that I not be there later than 9pm*. I still said no. 

I was abruptly told that the far-away place was going to be given away if I did not accept. I texted my friend that I was going to take it. He called me back and yelled ‘Don’t! Our arrangement is so much better!’ He said he’d give me complete logistical freedom. On the basis of that, I accepted.

In hindsight, I think he pitied me, since I’m down on my luck, and just said whatever would get me to agree to his idea. 

Once I'd moved Snuffles into his house he did a 180. 

I said I would do my best not to intrude on special occasions, but could guarantee nothing and would usually be there between 5 and 8pm, which he accepted. I immediately got messages about how nice it would be if I left before 6pm, so we ‘wouldn’t be in each other’s way’. This would mean my dropping everything at 3pm or earlier on many days, which isn’t possible. I told him so but he then *insisted* I *had* to be there early, especially on weekends. He talked about his family ‘deserving to enjoy their own dining room’. I understand, of course, but this directly contradicts what he said before. It turns out he hosts cookouts in the dining room on both weekend days as well, so I often have to give up much of my weekend to work around his guests. To hell with my plans, he wants me out of sight, not unlike a cleaner ^((no disrespect)). He also, incidentally, snuck Snuffles lots of unhealthy food.

Recently, he told me he was hosting a birthday, so I agreed to be out by 5pm Friday. On the *Thursday*, I walk into a room of guests having a movie night. They confirm that today is not the birthday, they just didn’t say they were bringing guests over the night before. I got to work, and all the while the mentor began whispering about how rude I was, disrupting their movie. They never looked at me as they said this. I was out by 18:45, the best I could do.

I can’t move again anytime soon.