Some background: I’d been with my boyfriend for a few years and things hadn’t been going great. I wasn’t happy in the relationship and was started to feel like I should break it off.

To complicate matters I’d developed a huge crush on my (female) housemate. I’d never really questioned whether I was straight or not til this crush so it really threw me. I was super confused.

I was still (parttly) in denial to myself about my feelings for this girl but knew I couldn’t be with my boyfriend any more, so I told him I wasn’t happy in the relationship any more.

This was a huge shock to him and he didn’t want to end the relationship, since he thought things could get better. I suggested we spend some time apart, like a break. To my mind we were broken up and not getting back together, but I knew he still had hope for the relationship.

A few weeks into our break and we hadn’t spoken since this conversation - on the phone or in person. I got really drunk at a friend’s party - blackout drunk, couldn’t remember a thing - and the next morning my friend asked if I could remember kissing a girl last night.

I did not remember.

This was a different girl from before, and she regularly kisses male and female friends on nights out. 

I felt really bad about it.... but didn’t tell my ex.

We broke up officially two weeks after this, but again I didn’t mention the kiss.

Am I the asshole? Is this cheating?