So I dated a girl for a few years and we had a bad breakup and we didn’t talk for years. Recently, I was getting to know her again because she was a huge part of my life and it felt weird that we actively avoided each other now. As we got to know each other again we’re exploring all the changes we’d gone through over the years. Something I find out that she now identifies as pansexual, which was a strong shift from being “100% straight” when we were dating. But I didn’t pry, if she wanted to give me more details she would, it’s not my business. 

Well she gets really drunk one night and tells me why she identifies as pansexual. She got “suuuuper drunk” at a party and made out with a girl. I pressed her on it later, asking if she had any sober experiences, if she was sexually attracted to any other women or anything like that and the answers were all no, but I might be if it’s the right person.

She finds a lot of her identity in being an activist, helping marginalized people that kind of thing. She’s a genuinely compassionate kind person. But she also has some serious self-esteem issues. She’s accused queer people she doesn’t like of “doing that for attention”. I thought she might be blowing that one experience way out of proportion and claiming pansexuality as part of her identity for clout.

I called her out on it and now we don’t talk anymore, to say the least.