So me and my ex girlfriend broke up recently. We have tried dating 3 times before and it never worked out, but we couldn't stay away from each other. The first time was because of a lot of family issues for both of us and we agreed it wasn't a good time to try to date, but the other 3 times it was because she is still obsessed over her ex boyfriend. She constantly texted him and rented about him even when we were together, she would barely text me and she would get pissed when I asked to change the subject. Her and I are also close with another girl who I'll call V. V and my ex have been friend since elementary school and are very close.
The night we broke up was the same night that I found out some really bad news about my grandmother. I was devastated and was really behind on school work due to a lot mental stress. Would always eat with her and V at lunch and for nearly a weak I would hide in the library to get myself caught up with school work. Only two of my friends came to see if I was okay, it was V and another girl I'll call J. When my ex came to talk to me, I was too upset to see her, so I asked my friends to tell her I didn't want to talk to her. She got upset to the point of tears and left.
I feel like an asshole for not talking to her right away, but she literally told me that she broke up with me because she still liked her ex. V and J were the only ones who said that it was okay to avoid her for a bit. Everyone else said I was an asshole and that I didn't deserve her, so I apologized for avoiding her and I've been acting like everything is okay between us, but I still feel like crying when I talk to her and sit with her. 
I've been cheated on before I felt that if we continued to date she would wind up dating h8m behind my back. I feel like I'm in the wrong, but V and J have been telling me I'm not. 
I know this is one side of the story, but this is just how I feel about the situation, I'm lost...

I guess my question is , Am I the asshole here?