Me and my coworker had a crush on each other, went on a couple of dates, but it didn’t work out between us.

Several months after everything blew over, we started having a good report again and I asked her out to play pool as a friend—she agrees.

The day comes around and nothing. I sent a text then called later and said, “hope everything is okay. Have a good night.” I get it things happen. 

But, I see her at work the following weekend and it turns out she was spending time with her friend all week. Yet, she never mentioned not following up on Tuesday, apologized, or anything. She made awkward conversation about how my week was and I didn’t want to bring up her standing me up. So, I just decided we couldn’t be friends beyond work because of her lack of integrity. 

Another week rolls around and she texts “how are you?” I don’t respond until the next day and say “good,thanks.” The weekend she works I feel like she thinks I was being an asshole for not being responsive. To be honest, she didn’t even deserve a response, but she makes me feel like an asshole because she made the effort to reach out and I shut her down. 

But, she seems to lack self-awareness. Can’t she tell when she fucked up? Can’t she tell the reason I’m being short and distant is because I can’t trust her word? This was the reason it didn’t work out between us in the first place. 

Now our interactions are cold and awkward, but I’m not that person. I want things to be normal, but I feel like I have to be a bit of an asshole to protect my feelings, self respect, and mental space. Am I the asshole for shutting down my coworker?