Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : For context, I work at a company with about 80 employees, and a coworker is planning an overnight white-water rafting trip that's first-come-first-serve with spots for about 24 people (invite is extended to all coworkers and their plus ones).

&amp;#x200B;

I was really looking forward to attending the trip (and initially RSVP'd yes) prior to hearing that our plus ones were invited (I really like hanging out with my coworkers!). When I first heard about the trip, I told my spouse I had planned on attending. The first thing they asked me was if plus ones were invited. I told them I wasn't sure, but I'd let them know when I found out.

&amp;#x200B;

Fast forward three weeks later and I now know plus ones are invited. I just revoked my RSVP and I feel like I'm going to crush my spouse's feelings for doing so, since it seemed like they wanted to come on this trip (it was the first thing they brought up when I told them about the trip).

&amp;#x200B;

I don't want to attend the trip without my spouse if other SOs are invited, because my spouse may think I'm excluding them for bad reasons (e.g., they're going to think I don't want to hang out with them, or I want to be away from them, etc.). I went on an overnight trip with my coworkers from a previous company two years ago and my spouse was having some trust-issues regarding a certain coworker who I'm good friends with, and I don't want him to have these issues again with my new set of coworkers, so I'd rather just have none of us attend.

&amp;#x200B;

My thought-process / reasoning below:

&amp;#x200B;

\*\*I'd feel bad if my spouse took a spot that a coworker could have taken\*\*. I know, I know, other people are inviting their SOs so I shouldn't feel bad, but all of the other plus ones being invited are people that we (coworkers) know. They come out to our company's happy hours, holiday parties, etc. Even though I've been at the company longer than a lot of the people inviting their spouses, not many people coming on the trip have ever met my spouse. My spouse doesn't attend our events mainly due to noise-anxiety (tinnitus-related) &amp; the fact that we live a bit farther from the office than the others (30-40 minute drive).

&amp;#x200B;

If my spouse knew the rest of my coworkers, I would feel comfortable bringing them along. Yes, this would be a great opportunity for them to get to meet my coworkers, but it's also a trip with a limited number of spots. Our happy hours and events happen frequently, do not have a guest-capacity, and some (the monthly ones) are tolerable as far as noise-anxiety and loudness are concerned (according to my spouse).

&amp;#x200B;

\*\*I'm also afraid of putting my spouse into an uncomfortable position regarding tinnitus and sleeping\*\*. This is less of a concern because my spouse is an adult and clearly if they knew there was a risk they wouldn't attend the trip, but I still can't help but worry a bit. My spouse struggles to sleep at night due to their tinnitus. They often sit in the kitchen with the faucet running in order to fall asleep. My spouse wouldn't have that option in a shared cabin with coworkers. They've struggled with sleeping on overnight trips in the past  and it would be difficult if they felt trapped on this overnight trip that's about 4 hours away from home.

&amp;#x200B;

\*\*TL;DR- My spouse was looking forward to attending an overnight trip with myself, my coworkers, and their SOs. WIBTA if I decide that neither of us will be attending the trip?\*\*

&amp;#x200B;

&amp;#x200B;