So, I'll start with some back story...

Me and the friend have known each other for about 3 years and are on the same uni course so we typically see each other quite a lot and became pretty close over the time.  During this time we've obviously done quite a few things together outside of classes, like pretty much weekly coffee's/going out for a drink ect. For her last birthday, upon hearing she would be spending it alone, I took her out for a nice meal and a few drinks because i know she would have been upset doing nothing for it (and i would sorta expect something similar back if the roles happend to be reversed - because we're close friends). Now i know you don't enter a friendship with expectations of what to get out of it but i feel as though its been pretty one sided and I give a lot more than I get back.

I could also go on about the many occasions where shes vented to me for hours on end about things that are bothering her, or the amount of times I've helped her out with things, but, i feel as though that's just part of being someones friend, right? You're supposed to be there for them?

Onto the situation/s... so this friend knows I've got pretty bad social anxiety (so i don't have many friends) and ongoing depression that exacerbated by the winter period, and i also have my birthday on the Chirstmas eve (i could go on a whole rant about why this sucks but the main thing that bothers me is that no one ever has the time for me because of Christmas, i know this is sorta selfish to think, but if one of my friends birthdays were constantly over shadowed by the biggest holiday of the year i'd definitely try do something for them). 

Anyway a week prior to my birthday she recalls us going out for hers and says she'll do something with me for it, a week goes by, hear nothing more of it, surprise surprise, it doesn't happen. (my other 'best friend' also said we'd do something and nothing came of that either) but this isn't the main thing that bothers me, like i understand everyone's busy and its childish to just assume i should be everyone priority. The part that bothered me about this situation is that she phoned me on my birthday, not to say happy birthday, but just to vent about how her boyfriends an asshole (as if this hasn't been obvious for months..) and that he had canceled their plans for Christmas. So I calm her down and tell her i'll change my plans for the next day and she could come round to mines if she liked, to which she agreed. The next day she came round, we got drunk, it was a fun night. (I should clarify, whilst i was a bit upset she didn't say happy birthday, i understood she was preoccupied, so it didn't bother me much then)

here's the part that got to me though,  so in the run up to new year i asked all my friends (like all 3 of them - none of them know the others) what they were doing for it, their plans ect, and everyone told me theirs but no one even asked me mines. New year comes and goes with me spending it alone in my flat, feeling depressed af, and wondering why i always seem so prepared to go out of my way for my friends, yet they wont even ask what i'm doing for new year, and the only 'happy new years' i got were in responses back. So 2 days after the new year, the friend mentioned above finally decides to ask what i done for new year, and upon telling her i spent it alone, all she replied with was "you need more friends hahaha\*laughing face\*".

 (and this is the part where i feel i may have turned into the asshole)

This really just totally set me off, i replied saying "or maybe just better ones"

She then seemed really offended by my reply and asked if i was referring to her with more laughing faces,

I explained i wasn't exclusively referring to her, but yeah the shoes fits,, i asked her to imagine that, if when she had phoned me on birthday, how she would have felt if my reply had been similar to hers there, and finished it up with 'go fuck yourself'.

She then said that she doesn't understand and that she wasn't intending to come across as a cunt (her words not mine), but i replied by telling her to go find some new friends (petty i know).

To make things worse upon her telling me to chill the fuck out, i just started ranting, and said she would understand if she ever took head out of her arse long enough for her to see things how they really are (and then doubled down on the self-absorbed insults, rich from me i know).

So ultimately i'm having a hard time deciding weather i was the asshole for over reacting like that, or if their the asshole by being so inconsiderate in the first place.

And whilst i do agree with her, i could do with more friends, what good are more friends of the same caliber if the friends i have don't ask me to do anything anyway and it feels as though i make most the effort?

Thanks in advance for your opinions.

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(sorry its so long and apologies for any spelling mistakes/long winded sentences)

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