Background: I am the president of choirs at my high school, I have had leadership issues and micro management problems in the past but I am making really good progress and I don’t think it is really much of an issue anymore. 

So our choir was about to go onstage perform at Disneyland and I was trying to settle everyone down and help warm them up while our director did some last minute things with the tech booth. 

One person in the choir. Let’s call her Beth, was being very distracting. Flailing her body around, distracting everyone around her and getting other people to focus on her instead of getting ready. So I calmly and privately told her “hey let’s try to focus on choir now”. And she rolled her eyes and snapped back “okay, i already am focused on choir”. From my perspective she was not but I kept going with warm ups. Throughout those she was just talking in a group. Distracting other people in the choir, talking instead of warming up and focusing. I noticed and said to the whole choir “alright let’s focus, singing not taking”.  (Not specifically pointing them out, although that was my objective). And then again ... nothing. 

So after warm ups our director was still talking and asked everyone to not talk for a few minutes. So I tried to calm down conversations and once again went up to Beth. Frustrated I asked her to please stop talking and she just told me no and to stay in my lane (which I’m pretty sure is my lane as the president) and in the moment I said “fight me b*tch) 

After our director finished with the tech group I immediately went up to her and apologized for getting flustered and asked her if there was anything we can do to make sure this doesn’t happen again. And she just rolled her eyes and said something along the lines of “you can stop micro managing me” and I tried to explain my point of view and she would just cut me off with “okay” every other word and wouldn’t even say anything herself. 

Afterwords she went to all of my friends and started complaining to them too. I was already pretty ostracized from the group and now they are all avoiding me. 


