 

Hey guys. I am a 25 year old male and live with two girls, both 28 in a 3-room flat. We are living together for a year now, and my relationship to the girls are very different. Let´s call ´em Ann and Mir. I have a good relationship to Ann and would consider her a friend. We talk about our issues, have fun together, although most of the time inside our four walls. We have the same kind of humour and she is very patient with me. To Mir I had an okay relationship in the beginning, turning into a bad one over the months. My problems with her are, that most of the times we talked it was either about her work or her medicine studies, where it seems she always puts herself on top of others, because others cause problems and she is always better. When I talk about my issues with her, which I barely did the conversation often shifted to her problems. I dont like people who are all about themselves, I want to share a conversation, not listening to a monologue. Some friends of mine, who met her also say she was an unsympathetic person, but I have to say I ranted about her, before they met her so this could have influenced their opinion. And sometimes she doesnt do her dishes and her kitchen mess right away, but thats actually not a big prob.

For me I am far from perfect. I´m sometimes short tempered, in case of her more often, because we had fights before and then I have the urge to defend myself and take things more personal. Also I broke some of Mir´s things and didnt come up for it right away. It wasnt on purpose, but she had to talk to me that I pay up for it. The worst thing i did, i drew some beards on her anatomy posters in the living room and laughed when she was upset, so a real dick move from me. I paid for the posters and apologized but I still have a bad feeling about it.

So in all we have a cold relationship, I barely talk to her, because of the conversation we have and she barely talks to me, because I take criticism of her personally sometimes and she doesnt want to deal with that.

Yesterday evening, she asked me why I take so many night shifts in the week, when I have university afterwards. I explained I wanted to have some free weekends and would deal with less sleep. She then said I hadnt that problem in the last university term, because I barely was in the university. I answered she knows me that I am a lazy person and not motivated in the last term. So she said "Although you said in the beginning of the last term you would get your work done" I heard a derisive tone from that and left the conversation. I want to add I was still tired cause of my night shift the night before and may have wanted to hear that from it.

Afterwards she asked whats the matter and I said she should consider how she talks to other people when they open up to her and then get smeared their weaknesses that they admit, in their faces.

She didnt understand my anger and said she meant no harm with that saying and didnt want to discuss with me further because I was still tired, I agreed.

We are both not perfect person, but am I the asshole in this relationship? I really cant judge it right,