I don't have many friends to begin with because I'm really not all that social, especially  being married with kids and a busy work schedule. I treasure the few that I have, but in the last year, I got pretty fed up with what was my best friend of more than 20 years. I've always treated her and her family like my own family and I started to feel like our hospitality was being taken advantage of when she and her husband and kids would come over, both she and her husband would get wasted, so we always insisted that they stay over. Thing is, they have a history of driving drunk with their kids in tow, and despite voicing my concerns, they always waved me off. So problem solved if I make them stay, right? Nope. They wake up in the morning and immediately begin administering the "hair of the dog" remedy (not a real cure, I know) and wind up wasted all over again. By the time they finally go home, it's often evening the next day and their kids have demolished my house, my friend and husband never insisted on the kids helping with the cleanup, and I'm so frustrated with the amount of cleaning I have to do just to get my house back to halfway livable. I know I can ask them to help, but they're so drunk things tend to be hastily shoved under beds and in cabinets, not where they belong. I feel inclined to say that when we visit their home, this is not what I do. I clean up their kitchen, put food away, ask my kids to put things away, etc. The state of their house is in better condition than when we arrived. Now part of my issue with the drinking is that I no longer drink due to having a drinking problem in the past. I notice the annoying drunken behavior much more now that I'm not drinking, but don't want to sound like I'm better than them for not drinking. It bothers me though, and I've tried to bring up the subject in a subtle way, suggesting that they cut back on consuming so much alcohol. It's quickly dismissed. The last straw was when they came over to celebrate my birthday, and my friend showed up at my door already blitzed. She tried to downplay how much she was consuming by continuously "checking on her car". It was obvious she had a bottle in her car. I ended up so annoyed at the reckless mess (food being dropped on the floor and stared at without cleaning it up, repetitive conversation, etc.) that I went to bed early. The next day was the usual wake and drink routine, and when I walked out to my driveway, I noticed a wet spot on the asphalt next to her car and the overwhelming smell of pee. Not sure who squatted to pee in my driveway, but it may have happened during one of the many "car checks". That was it. I pretty much just stopped talking to them after that, and I haven't given any explanation about why, mostly because I know the truth would fall on deaf ears and cause substantial embarrassment that would probably result in resentment towards me. Also, in a way, I don't feel like it should be be my responsibility to spell out how inappropriate and rude they've been. They're grown adults, and should know better. 

My other friend was a good friend who I've opened my doors to when he needed help. He doesn't have much family or friends, and I've often been the only one who would talk to him. He has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, which he was candid about, and having been in his situation before, I could understand his situation without judging. The last couple of times he visited though, his drinking was out of control and he ended up saying really awful things to me, and having inappropriate conversations with not only my kids, but other people's kids who were staying over. He had no recollection of the previous night, so how do you chew someone out for something they don't remember?  He knows he has a problem, so what's the point? Same thing, I pretty much just abruptly stopped talking to him. 

I feel justified in cutting ties with both parties, especially since my kids don't need to be exposed to this kind of behavior, but wonder if I'm being cowardly in not tell them why I stopped answering texts/phone calls. Do I owe an explanation? These are both friends I've known since I was a teenager. Does that factor in a certain amount of responsibility on my part to be a good friend and lay it all out? Is it partly my fault for allowing it to get to this point?