The title is basically a TL;DR, but for more background I'm two years out of High school and mostly single. I say mostly because of my predicament. Her name is (Here at least) Sweety. Sweety is a tall, loud, and very pretty latina girl who is as kind and caring as the name implies. I met her my freshman year and instantly there was a connection. This however might have been because the theater teacher asked her to check on me when she saw me not engaging anyone at my first theater club meeting. I'm naturally introverted and lanky, as well as usually the tallest in the room, so with her being almost as tall as me her friends started shipping us even before we considered the possibility. Still, she made an effort to break me out of my shell and introduce me to some cool people, some who stuck by me even after the break up. She also helped with my style and confidence.

We were almost inseparable, even after she graduated (she was a year older than me) and gave eachother lots of THE FIRSTS. We considered each other as our first loves and even talked freely about marriage. That was until I graduated. When I got my car and found a good enough job to not be broke all the time. Thats when things changed, mainly my emotions. Slowly, after a year, I could no longer say I love you with the same feeling as I used too. I started chatting people up online and cybering every once in a while, finding reasons to be annoyed with her and looking for flaws. When I could finally see clearly what I was doing, I felt terrible. She loved me as deeply or perhaps deeper than she did in school, and the fact that I wanted to replace her made me feel like shit so I told her that.

I tried to explain as gently and decisively as I could to her, I felt that it was unfair to her and until I could figure out what I wanted, I couldn't give her what she was giving me. This went about as well as you'd expect  with lots of tears and confessions on both sides, though mine were by far worse. After that, even when I was seeing other people, she would check in on me, and after a while she seemed to spiral from depression to full self destruction in the form of fledgling alcoholism. She would call ranting to me about feeling numb, hollow and being completely uninterested in other guys. This combined with an equally hostile home/work environment made me feel responsible for her, after all she more or less fixed me up like a dingy old car and got me out into the world. So I let her do "Girlfriend Things" i.e: sharing meals, cuddling, kissing, and more intimate things. Of course I skirt any mention of getting back together indefinitely, I just can't right now. I still care about her, but its been months and she still cant seem to find interest in anyone else, and its getting harder to skirt the question since I'm recovering my own broken heart. So, AITA?

EDIT: Recently a mutual friend of Sweet and Mine (Who has been working with her to move on, not knowing we were doing things together) told me that Sweet had "Lost her phone" and that's why she hasn't responded to some questions I posed. I doubt this only because she knows where I live obviously and loves dropping in on me unexpectedly. Not to mention she's close to a lot of my family, altogether she should have no problem contacting me. I think she's finally blocked me.