Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Backstory: 

My boyfriend and I have been good friends since we first met in middle school. The summer after graduating high school, we both admitted we kind of had feelings for each other and started kind of hooking up (ie. we watched Futurama and made out in his basement). Then we left for different colleges, leaving things at “we’ll see what happens over winter break.” That first semester, we continued talking, texting every day and sending each other letters in the mail. I, hopeful that the universe would align in a way where we ended up dating, basically ignored every guy that flirted with me on my campus. 

However, he had met another girl at his school - I’ll call her April - who was into him, and he was into her. They became friends, and flirted, and hung out all the time (basically the exact same as my relationship with him), but nothing really happened between them that first semester. 

Winter break came, and he and I ended up hanging out again a couple times, picking up where we’d left off. We both decided we wanted to have sex, so we did, and then both left town again. 

So now he’s back at school and has to decide between me (the girl who lives across the country) and April (the girl who lives down the hall from him). He basically tells April that he doesn’t want a relationship, and after she gets over being hurt, they start talking again. 

Flash forward to the present, two years later:

He’s my boyfriend now (obviously), we did long distance for a year and then both transferred colleges so that we could go to school together. Things are going well. He’s still friends with April; they chat a couple of times a month and I’m uncomfortable with it but suck it up because I don’t want to be controlling. He’ll talk about how cool she is, how I’d like her because she’s “just like you,” etc. Yesterday, she texts him and says that she’s in town and wants to hang out. I proceed to have a breakdown over the idea of having to meet this girl, because I know I’m going to spend the entire time scrutinizing and comparing, trying to figure out what made my boyfriend like her, coming up with a laundry list of reasons why she’s better than me, so on and so forth. I tell my boyfriend that I’d rather not meet her because I know it’s going to make me feel anxious and insecure, and he’s understanding, but also disappointed. 

We ended up having a big fight about his relationship to her: from my perspective, it seems like he was keeping both of us at arms length while he decided what he wanted (which is fine by me, it happens), but then never made a full decision - he “picked” me, so to speak, but left the April door open a tiny bit, just in case. And I don’t like that. When I told him this, he told me that I didn’t understand how difficult the decision was, which hurt me even more. Nobody wants to hear what essentially translates to “it wasn’t easy to choose to start dating you.” He further explained it as being a hard choice because it hurt April’s feelings, and she was his only friend, so it made him lonely. It seems to me like there’s something unresolved on her side, judging from the tone of the texts I’ve seen (not snooping!), and it’s keeping him from moving on completely? I don’t know. 

But yeah, all in all, I’m not really comfortable with him continuing to be friends with this girl. I trust him, but it’s still hurtful that he wants to have a relationship with the person that, from my perspective, was my replacement for a semester (and almost forever). Am I an asshole for not wanting him to be friends with her?