Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : My wife and I have been together since college, married for \~4 years now in a commitment ceremony. Found wheelchair-suitable housing last year and moved in together.

The obstacles to us becoming parents are:

1. Financial. We split rent and utilities 70/30 every month. She works P/t at $10 an hour. I work F/T at $15.25. TL;DR - we absolutely could not afford her to stop working entirely AND the expense of a child. We'd be slowly going broke every month, at best.
2. Medical. She was born with Spastic Cerebral Palsy and has a 50-50 chance of dying if she gets pregnant. None of her female friends have accepted her request for surrogacy. We REALLY don't want to hire one either, too many horror stories.
3. Emotional/Mental. We both have...a fair few issues we're working through. Mostly childhood traumas on her end &amp; poor memory/ADHD on mine. We've achieved a stable but fragile state of harmony, but without giving out TMI I can pretty safely say that if the kid is anything short of a junior saint we're going to be at each other's throats.

I have exhausted literally every higher-paying job I qualify for on several job search sites as of last month, to no avail. I've thrown out or donated 80% of my electronic gear and most of my old hobbies to make more room in our apartment. We went to couples counseling (which helped) and I've tried to help her keep in touch with her friends.

Meanwhile, for the past few years she's been constantly back-and-forth on the issue. At several points she's literally set a date to try for a child complete with Fun Times, we've bought tests and commiserated when they came back negative. She has also (supposedly) picked boy and girl names out already and talked to adoption agencies.

Yet nothing ever seems to come of the latter and she also takes her birth control pills every day without fail. Whenever I try to VERY GENTLY remind her "pills = no baby" or ask if there's been measurable progress on the adoption process she either gets angry, deflects the issue, starts crying or all of the above. It's become a conversational landmine I can't even approach without risking a "boom". Trying to approach the issue of children issue otherwise either ends inconclusively or in a minor-to-major meltdown, no matter HOW hard I try.

All this lead up to a conversation this morning where I tried to politely tell her that we needed to put this issue to bed. We're not getting any younger, higher income does not appear to be forthcoming, and I'm just plain tired of the stress of going back-and-forth on this issue for going on half a decade. I love you honey, I'm not going anywhere, let's hug on this and let it go.

...suffice it to say that her meltdown rivalled Chernobyl and Fukashima put together.

Between tears she accused me of "not liking kids", of making a big decision without her, and a dozen other things. 

Am I really a monster for saying I'd like to put this issue to rest rather than have it lurking in the closet?