Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I was engaged to my amazing GF last year and she recently moved to the US via the K1 Fiance Visa.  For context, the K1 Fiance Visa approval timeline can vary greatly and once approved you must get legally get married within 90 days of your Fiance moving to the US. As you can imagine, it is nearly impossible to organize a proper wedding where many friends and family must fly internationally within a short 90 day period, which is the case with us as many friends and family members would not be able to attend (including her parents) as they need time to schedule time off, book tickets, etc.

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Initially, we were hoping to just do an initial 'paper wedding' and the ceremony one year down the road, however our state requires that we not only get a marriage certificate, but that we also have a ceremony at the courthouse in front of a judge and have a couple witnesses.  I discussed this with the Fiance and we both decided that we didn't want to only have my parents attend the courthouse wedding (they are local) without hers present as we want to share our 'wedding moment' at the same time with both families.  So, we instead invited a few close friends to act as witnesses.  

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I explained this to my parents and they were not thrilled, however I made our decision / wishes clear and the reasons why (plus reiterated we are planning a big wedding in a year and that they were front and central in that wedding) .  Several weeks later, prior to our courthouse wedding, when I was visiting the parents with my Fiance my mother decided to tell my fiance while I was in a separate room that the courthouse wedding is the "real" wedding and that the wedding down the road isn't real (it's obvious my mom purposely decided to do this when I wasn't present and when I confronted my parents after hearing this from my fiance they said that 'they thought my fiance didn't understand the courthouse wedding was a legal wedding').  I feel that they are being unreasonable with not accepting our wishes (I'm not asking them to be 'happy' about it) and I feel they crossed a line going behind my back to my fiance and trying to guilt trip her (the fiance said afterwards 'i'm sorry that I'm not American as then both parents could attend and this wouldn't be an issue' - that broke my heart) which makes me less inclined to be open with my parents about our life or have my fiance hang out with them without me being present...

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Am I the asshole here?

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TLDR; Am I the asshole for not inviting my parents to a mandatory courthouse wedding and asking them to wait until we can have a proper wedding when my fiance's overseas parents can attend so that we can share our wedding moment with both parents at the same time?

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