Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I’m a senior in college, 22 years old. First you need a little back story about how this guy (we’ll call him Ted) came to be sort-of exes. 

My freshman year, the first week of school I met this guy—who was a junior at the time. I hit on him, he told me he had a girlfriend of a few years, but he thought I was funny and wanted to be friends. We were cool for a few weeks, and then he started having girlfriend troubles and making moves on me. I know it was shitty on his part, and also mine because I reciprocated but at 18 I didn’t really give a shit. He ended up dumping her, we had sex two or three times MAX, decided we would be better off as friends and moved onto future relationships. 

Since my freshman year we had gotten very close. We would tell each other basically everything, just like I would with my close girl friends. Throughout his relationships over the years he would come to me for girl advice, to cry to, and for me to be an occasional wingwoman. I went to him with guy problems, and after I met my boyfriend sophomore year, I went to Ted for relationship advice, life advice, and when I really needed someone to tell me what I needed not what I wanted to hear. He and my boyfriend were fine with each other, and my boyfriend was fine with how close we were. It’s just how we had been since I first met Ted.  He was a very good friend and a good voice of reason to me from the beginning. 

Let me be clear, there was definitely still some sexual tension. Never anything that either of us acted on, but it was inevitably there. Bug again, neither of us ever acted on these desires. 


About a year ago, he started dating a new girl. I’ll call her Tessa. 

Their relationship began in flames from the beginning. She was manipulative towards him, controlling and over protective, and verbally and mentally abusive to him. I’m a psychology major, hopeful to go into counseling someday; so when I saw signs of a toxic and emotionally damaging relationship, I was very upset. 

Ted is one of the most caring people I’ve known in my life. Puts others first, especially his friends and family, sees the best in people, would do anything for the people he cares about, etc. So, when he would call me time and time again crying because Tessa called him names, told him she hated him (“everything about him” to be exact), would break up with him again and again over the most trivial things.. I couldn’t stand to see him treated like that. Every time they broke up (within the first six months I believe it was 7 or 8 times at least) she would come back, begging and pleading, saying she would never say or do things like that again, saying she would change and stop drinking (she gets really awful when she’s drunk), and then they’d get back together and be happy for another few weeks and then break up again. Classic abusive circle of events. Ted is a delicate guy. He takes most things very personally, especially criticisms from those he highly regards. 

Now a month or so ago he just stopped replying to my texts. Deleted me off of Snapchat, blocked my number, unfollowed me on Twitter, etc. no pretense as to why or what happened, no contact, no information.. even though he has always regarded me as one of his closest friends.

A week or so later, I asked one of his friends why he did it and they explained that Tessa was jealous/uncomfortable/unapproving of  Ted and I’s friendship. So apparently told him that if he kept in contact with me, their relationship would be over (again). 

So being the friend that I am, i have still been trying to contact him. I feel like I’m being psycho, but we have always been so close that I am 
1. Scared for his mental and emotion health as this relationship persists 
2. Angry that he couldn’t even talk to me about the situation when I most definitely can understand why Tessa would be uncomfortable
3. Sad that one of my closest friends for years has cut me so easily out of his life, as if I haven’t been through some of his hardest times with him and vice versa

AITA for continuing to contact him? 



TL;DR A few years ago I hooked up with a guy, who i since then have become extremely close friends with. He got into an emotionally abusive relationship, and the girl has now ordered him to stop being friends with me. AITA for still trying to contact him?