Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Throw away account. TW: maybe rape.
I went out with co workers for a birthday. We all drank a lot. Apparently  a co worker and I kissed. I don't remember this (and it seems really unlikely, but its what he said happened). I do remember waking up in an alley way(I'm pretty sure I thought we were going across the road to wait for my uber. Somehow I've got charges for 4 cancelled ubers from that night), co worker was slapping my face trying to get me to open my mouth, he had his dick in my face. I was holding my mouth closed. I woke up again, he was holding my mouth open, I freak out, either black out or pass out again. Wake up again - realise 'shit, I'm still here' try to comply to get it over with. The second I was complicit, he went soft (Edit 4: This made me think he was into the lack of consent). I go to sleep. Can't move, but can feel everything. He got under my skirt (and did stuff. He made a mess). 
I was really pissed off. Next time I saw him, I kicked his legs a few times and told him I was mad at him. He convinced me 'no no it was concensual, except maybe the last part, which I probably shouldn't have done'. Somehow I convinced myself that he did it because he liked me, and was just super super drunk. So I tried to remain friends. Here's where it gets murky - I convince myself that if it was because he liked me (as opposed to an attack) he'd want to do it more. So we hooked up, and it was terrible. - didn't go all the way. Then I started persuing him - we are both married, definitely not something either should do. I have no idea why I did that. I don't like him at all. He's not my type. He always makes really sexual comments then acts like nothing has happened. He's twice my age and very senior at work. AITA?
Edit: I really agressively started persuing him, texting all the time. We sometimes have work drinks on Fridays (he's from the same department, different office)- if I drank a bit much, I'd text and if he said no, I'd reply something like 'do you only want me when I say no?' or something similar. 
I know this sounds fake, it's extremely stupid I know.
Edit 2: I had a STI test done (negative), got the morning after pill.  I felt like I'd been drugged since  I couldn't move but could feel what was happening, but couldn't get a full drug screen unless I reported it through Vic Police (I'm in Australia). I was tested for 5 common drugs instead, all came back negative. 
Edit 3: please if there's a more relevant place to post this let me know. I don't know what to do. I feel like I went completely insane.