Three weeks ago my wife unexpectedly (well sort of expectedly) quit her job because her boss was a jerk and they had their issues. Before this we both had been working but I was covering the majority of our bills (rent, car, cable etc) while she was paying for groceries and her student loans (I have none). We share a studio apartment in the city for which the rent is incredibly reasonable and I was ok with this because getting her debt free was a priority. 

Suddenly without income on her end I’m paying for groceries and if she remains unemployed past this payment I’m on the hook for her loans since I co-signed them when she refinanced. Obviously this is a bit of stress for me but I have savings and I just got a raise so it’s not a catastrophe.

My wife has been applying for jobs and I’m empathetic to that struggle because I was unemployed for 9 months after graduate school but I’m more and more starting to resent her seemingly lax attitude. Multiple times last week I came home from 9hour+ days to find her in bed sleeping or with a migraine, she’s always sleeping in and has told me she’s been waking up past noon on more than one occasion, she still wants to go out even though she knows I will have to cover for her, and she’s used my credit card to make clothing purchases for herself. 

All this can be explained away. The sleeping is due to depression and the fact that she needed some new clothes for interviews is something I can believe but when I ask her to maybe do the dishes or clean up the house or some errands we need done she acts like it’s a burden to her and makes me feel terrible for asking.  I completely get that applying for jobs is a full time job but right now I’m doing a full time job + commuting + house chores + taking care of her while I don’t see her making any progress and I’m feeling taken advantage of.  

Am I wrong to ask her to pull her weight? Especially if I’m going to have to cover her student loans next month? 