My ex wife is a perennial fuck up. She’s been to jail on numerous occasions, had several affairs, lost more jobs than I’ve ever had, and currently lives with her mother. I was a single dad for three years to three children, years where I learned to braid hair so I could care for my daughter. I’ve remarried, and my wife and I provide the children with everything. We pay for their healthcare. We help them with their school work. We sign them up for activities they are interested in and take them to those activities. We pay for those activities. We help them with their school projects. My son is almost 16, and we will buy his car. My eight year old daughter needs braces, and we will pay for them. I ask their mother for no child support because she can’t even support herself. I don’t wish to hurt her. In fact, I’ve forgiven her for who she is and what she’s done. 
Fast forward to tonight: my daughter is entering a pageant. We’ve paid for the dress. We’ve paid the entrance fee. She gets me ask her questions she might be asked at the pageant. One was, “Who is your hero and why?” 
My daughter says, “Do you think I should say, ‘my mom?’”
I said, “ You realize you have family here? We provide for you. We registered you for this pageant. We attended the meeting. You live here full time. We care for you and love you. I know that you get to go to your mom’s every other weekend, and you have no chores there. You eat whatever you like (mom has food stamps), but it’s easy to be a parent two weekends a month. It’s harder to be a parent all the time.” 

I’ve never derogated their mother. I don’t want to cripple their image of her, but it’s frustrating as hell that they see her as this angel and don’t appreciate everything their stepmother and I do for them. 