Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : There’s lots of backstory to this, obviously, but I’m trying to keep it short.

My mum left my dad a little over a year ago completely out of the blue. At some point she started an affair with a married man that went on for a couple of months. She drank too much (considering she has to take some pretty heavy medication for an unrelated issue) and started doing (soft) drugs. The guy broke up with her twice. She responded by attempting suicide both times. I cleaned up after her (both literally and figuratively) each time. The first time she did it, my father helped me take care of her; the second time I did it all on my own. I washed her bloody clothes (she didn’t want me to throw them away), wiped her kitchen floor, made sure she was transferred to a hospital close to home, settled everything with the police (she committed a few minor crimes during the second attempt) and so on. When she was admitted to the psych ward, I took an unpaid week off of work so I could make sure she had everything she needed — I paid for all her stuff myself, with money I don’t have (she told me she’d pay me back once she got out, but she never did.) I was the only one who visited her (almost every day) because the rest of the family „felt too uncomfortable“ to go see her.

Eventually, she asked my dad to come talk to her. She suddenly wanted to come home, to fix their marriage. At this point he had been in a serious relationship with another woman for months, and he told her No in the nicest way possible. The next day, during my visit, I told her she needed to let go. I also told her that I’d been operating way past my breaking point for weeks and I couldn’t take any more of this. She said, „I know.“

Fast forward to the weekend: It’s the first time she’s allowed to leave the clinic. I’m living with my dad while I’m writing my bachelor’s thesis and I’m home alone. She still has our house key and uses it to let herself in. She starts yelling at me immediately — how could I be so cruel to her, how could I allow my father to have his girlfriend over and so on. I try to calm her down but she’s having none of it. She walks into the kitchen, takes the biggest knife out of the drawer and uses it to slash a painting on the wall. Next she gets a hammer and starts smashing things — dishes, picture frames, family heirlooms. All the while I’m begging her to stop and she just plainly does not care. I finally threaten to call the police. She throws her keys at me, says, „Have a nice life“ and leaves.

It’s been three months and I haven’t talked to her since that day. I don’t *want* to talk to her. According to my older brother, who still sees her once in a while (apparently she’s moved in the meantime but she explicitly told him not to tell me where she lives now), she doesn’t think she did anything wrong. My grandma called to tell me that my mum is lonely and devastated and I should just „grow up, show some empathy and go talk to her,“ but I just *can’t* do the whole „Let’s just pretend nothing ever happened and/or manipulate you into feeling guilty for some reason“ thing that my mother always does. I’m all out of energy and on top of everything that’s happening I’m also trying to finish my university degree *right now.*

For the first couple of weeks I was very(!) sure that I was justified in setting boundaries, but my family doesn’t think so. I’ve been called irrational for expressing that I was scared when she took the knife, cruel for insisting that she „humiliates herself further“ by apologising for her actions, selfish for putting my own mental health before hers, heartless for insisting that she needs some serious psychological help before I can even *think* about reconciling with her. I stood my ground through all of this and now no one talks to me anymore. Not a single person is taking my side. Even my brother was just like „Well I guess that’s your decision.“ I’ve been explicitly told not to expect any help if I’m ever in trouble and I’ve been uninvited from every family celebration, including Christmas.

I feel so fucking lonely and I’m starting to wonder if they’re right and it’s my fault and I should just give in. I know she’s had a tough life and it's not really her fault that she’s mentally unstable. I know she needs help (but I think I have neither the energy nor the psychological expertise required to give her that help). I'm scared she's going to hurt herself again because of me. I switch back and forth between feeling furious about the way she’s been treating me and cold, selfish and ungrateful for thinking about it like that. Did I overreact because I’m so stressed out about everything? My family pretty obviously thinks I’m the asshole. Am I?

&amp;#x200B;

EDIT: No one's going to read this, probably, but I just wanted to apologise. I got kind of overwhelmed with the response I got and stopped replying to people. I wasn't expecting the unanimous NTA judgement at all. A few of you suggested I should check out /r/raisedbynarcissists, which I did. I've also read a book or two on NPD and BPD and I've been recognising our family dynamics in a lot of those texts. This all feels very strange. Everything that was supposed to be normal suddenly fits into this pattern of a fundamentally dysfunctional family. I'm still trying to sort through my feelings about all of this. 

Meanwhile, my mother insists that she never said a bunch of things and we misunderstood the things she did say. I've contacted neither her nor anyone on her side of the family. Thank you all for taking the time to write a response to my post. I truly appreciate it, even though I never replied to most of your comments and PMs. 

Also, I'm one of the people who get really annoyed with those posts on this sub where the OP is clearly NTA and just looking for validation, so, uh. Sorry. I learnt a few things about how being in the middle of a situation can apparently really fuck up your perspective of things.