Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : So my little sister’s  partner’s grandfather died a couple of weeks ago.  This meant that my sister and his family had to drive five hours away for the funeral.  When I heard the news I immediately text him my condolences. They weren’t close so he’s not distressed just sad. 

I called my sister the next day (Wednesday) and we are chatting about how everyone is coping and funeral plans. She explains that it will be difficult for them since they have a 1 year old puppy and they usually leave her with his parents or in their fenced yard but neither are an option apparently. 

All of a sudden my sister asked if I could maybe come down and house/dog sit. I said yeah I should be able to (thinking the funeral would be over the weekend). We chat about the puppy and then I ask her when she wants me to come down since I had to deliver some papers to the courthouse on Friday morning but would make the 1.5 hour drive that afternoon. She then informs me that the funeral is Friday and I would need to come Thursday afternoon. It is important to note that I share a car and would have to alter schedules to make Thursday work. 

So I apologize for the confusion and told her I thought the funeral would be over the weekend and I am unable to help due to having prior plans. I forgot to mention the car because she started to tell me how she didn’t believe my “plans” and I was being selfish. 

I genuinely care for her partner like a brother and wanted to help in a difficult time. I feel like I should have been clearer with why I couldn’t make it but she was really upset before I could explain. 

She hasn’t spoken to me in over two weeks and she called my mom to vent and my mom explained the car situation but they both came to the conclusion that I’m being selfish because I could’ve put off my court papers and rented /borrowed a car. I have been texting her like usual with no response. 

I tried to let it blow over because while I did say I’d help, it was five minutes before I knew the details and I had to get this particular errand done. I am getting irritated because she is trying to “teach me a lesson” with her silence according to my mom. I just don’t think I should apologize anymore in this situation. It was unfortunate that I couldn’t drop everything to make it down the next day even though I said I’d help but I don’t feel like that makes me selfish. Mom is trying to play peacemaker but it is frustrating that she agrees with both of us to our faces and is playing it kinda as a joke. Like I should have been more flexible and it’s funny my sister is being so dramatic. Not helpful. 

I’d like to get past this but I don’t think I should give in because my sister had always been the dominant one and can be pretty moody so I usually end up apologizing but I just don’t think IATA here. 

I’d appreciate some insight and if I am being selfish I will apologize. I just need some unbiased opinions. 

Thanks! 

Tl;dr : sister (25) is upset that I (27) said I would dog sit before knowing the details of when she needed my help. That was not great but she refuses to speak to me as a way to teach me a lesson about being selfish because she doesn’t think I had valid reasons not to help. I feel like it was an unfortunate situation but I don’t think I should apologize as I was willing to help if I could. Frustrated by mom’s attempt to play peacemaker. 