Hi Reddit, I know this seems like a pretty cut-and-dried situation but hear me out.

My wife and I have been together for almost a decade and married for about half of that. She’s an amazing, intelligent woman and she is my best friend. I love her to death and always want to support her in everything she does but I’m struggling to do so now.

My wife works in the biomedical field, conducting research on venomous animals and how humans can use venom to cure and treat a myriad of health issues.  This means she works directly with several species of very dangerous animals. She’s very passionate about her work and worked hard to get where she is today. 

I have always been weary of her job because it does, of course, pose a serious risk to her. But like I said I always wanted to support her and support her passions so I never really objected or made an issue of it. I may have mentioned in passing how her job makes me uneasy, but I never asked her to give it up.

However, the issue came to a head this past year. She was bitten by a Gaboon viper (if you don’t know what that is, look it up; extremely venomous snake).  She almost died and had to be rushed to the hospital. Luckily the facility she works at has antivenom on hand for these scenarios but it was still very frightening. It took her a long time to recover, yet as soon as she was fit to work again she went back to work.

I have since been sick with worry every single time she goes to work. I can’t sit back and pretend her work is risk-free anymore and it has caused a huge rift between us. I’m constantly stressed about her getting hurt or even dying because of her job.

I have asked her to stop working with venomous animals for the sake of her health. She has argued that this is her passion and likens her work to that of a police officer or firefighter; she accepts the risks of the job because she can save lives with her research. I agree with the sentiment but simply can’t accept that she works in a dangerous field. I would feel the same way  if she was a police officer or firefighter.

We have had many fights about this and have hit a wall. She is not budging and neither am I. She claims that it is unfair and asshole-ish of me to ask her to give up her dream career, though she does understand my concerns.

I don’t know what to do or if I’m being irrational so I need some help and outside opinions. Am I the jerk here? I fear that her job will be the death of her.

AITA???



