‘Twas’ NYE of 2018, around 5-6pm and a good 7-8 of my close friends were in our marquee at a festival inside our campsite area. Tunes are pumping and the drinks are flowing, a great time. When out of nowhere wonders up this stranger to us and insists we sing a song with her, I begrudgingly agree given it’s within the spirit of New Years so I start to produce Kanye Wests Gold Digger and a few of us join in with this off-key slapper. One would think she’d leave now but no. 

She Moseyed on over and awkwardly asked if she could have a drink and chill for a bit with us, the group let’s her request hang in the air like the steaming pile of shit it was. Until one of the more polite girls in our group collapsed and said yeah of course...20 minutes pass and I’m trying to enjoy my New Years pre drinks with my best friends and this loner has thrown off the whole vibe. At some point she asked if everyone was okay if she stayed a bit longer to which I said something like “ we’re actually in the middle of a kinda intimate thing so...” she called me rude and carried on eating my packet of crisps. 

Seething in my seat I ask her when she was planning on leaving and she calls me an asshole and continues to chomp down on my crisps. A good friend suggests I take a pee with him as he can see I need to cool off a bit, another joins us on our bush wee and we all agree we gots to get rid of this bitch. 

We storm back into the campsite and my pal politely ask her if we can walk her back to her friends in case she was lost, she insisted she was fine her with her new friends. She then asked who wants to sing another song, I thought that was a terrific idea as I produce a melodic “ get the fuck out of my campsite, get the fuck outta here”. Muffled laughter ensues and she sits there eating my crisps taking it on the chin and doesn’t leave, she stands up and starts ranting at me about respect and how much of an asshole I am, I snap and quite bluntly tell her to get her filthy hands off my crisps and get the fuck outta here

She walked off in tears and a few of my lady friends told me I was overly aggressive and a bit of an A- hole even though nobody wanted her there

Thankyou to anyone who has read this far, please deliver your gracious verdict 