Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My siblings and I had kind of a traumatic childhood. After the last of our parents died, we stopped speaking much. I have a brother (48) and a sister (43). 

My older brother was always very aloof about how well he was doing. He went to a good college and got a high paying job and for years he made more than me while I was struggling. He is in real estate. When I was looking to buy my first home I asked him for advice and he gave it to me, but then sent me an invoice. I stopped communicating with him on any regular basis at that point. 

I got my life together and now am married, expecting a baby, and am financially stable. 

I hadn’t heard from either sibling in almost 6 years. I learned my brother had moved to a new country in passing in an email from my sister. 

Yesterday he called and said he’s gone bankrupt and he needs $65,000 to avoid bankruptcy plus another $23,000 to keep his kids in college. I told him no. My sister is calling now telling me I have to support him because we are family. 

I’m doing fine but not so fine that I have tens of thousands of dollars easily accessible. He hasn’t spoken to me in ten years, did not fly in for my wedding, and did not respond to the email I sent to the family letting them know we were expecting. 

I can see the reverse of this though that it’s not his kids fault that my relationship with him is strained and maybe I should at least help with their college. It wouldn’t be an easy thing. We’d have to cancel an upcoming vacation, put off getting a second car (our current car is pretty small for a baby) and I wouldn’t be able to take as much time off after the baby is born. 

He is family, bankruptcy is serious, and this would probably be a major bridge burner if I stand firm on it. But also, there’s a long list of people I’d more readily lend money to. 

So, am I the asshole? 