Last February my ex assaulted me at work, he'd been previously verbally abusive but he crossed a line when he pushed me around our work's office and cornered me multiple times to yell at me while I was trying to close the store all because I wouldn't let him in while I was counting cash.

Our friends are mutual friends, they've all seen the security footage from that night, heard the stories, held me when I cried even. Since then my mental health has been in turmoil which has definitely caused a lot of problems in our group. My recent meltdown had me sent to a behavioral health center and I dropped contact with all my friends for a couple months. 

I deeply want to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth and hurting them the way I have by causing problems that weren't even there in the first place. They're under no obligation to accept my apology but it eats me alive that they still hang out with my abusive ex but they've all blocked me off.

 Am I the asshole for feeling some type of way about this?