I’ll try to keep this short but its kind of a messy situation. I have been good friends with two guys, Will and John. After about 2+ years of being just friends, Will and I started hooking up. Then a few months in when I tried to figure out what kind of relationship he wanted, Will sort of freaked out, got really depressed, told me we weren’t compatible / had no future, so I ended things with him. 

In the meantime I was still really close with John- John is a huge flirt and has always been really touchy with me, etc. but I always read it as nothing serious. But one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I knew it was a bad idea because even if Will didn’t have feelings for me anymore, John and Will are super close and while we were together Will insisted a few times that John had feelings for me. John told me he didn’t care about hurting Will and that being with me was more
important. I didn’t really make a decision about John, but told him that maybe in the summer when we were back in the same state (he graduated college and moved back home, a few hours from my hometown) we could see if there was a point to us being more than friends.

I came back to school for spring semester and Will hit me up. He told me how much he missed me, how we belong together, etc. At first I got really mad at him because I really cared about him and the stuff he said before things ended sucked. But we talked through some stuff for a week and ended up back to basically dating without actually committing to it outloud. 

Its been a couple months and even though Will and I technically aren’t in a committed relationship, I pretty much live at his apartment and I know he’s not seeing anyone else. He knows there have been other guys while we weren’t talking but he doesn’t know about John.

Will absolutely loves John- he kind of idolizes him. And even though John hasn’t been acting like it, I know he really cares about Will too. I don’t want to come between them. The only other person who knows is Will’s other best friend, this guy Tyler who is also one of my closest friends. I told Tyler right when it happened, back when Will and I weren’t even talking, and Tyler’s immediate reaction was that Will shouldn’t know because he would be really upset.

I want to talk to Will about what our relationship even is, but this secret has been holding me back. I really really don’t want him to be hurt or feel insecure. And I don’t want to damage a relationship Will really values. Obviously if Will asked me if anything happened between me and John, I wouldn’t lie to him. BUT he never has. AITA for not telling him about something that happened when we weren’t even talking?