So, this story is a little complicated and will take a bit of exposition to give you the full picture.

My best friend [18 F] and I [19 M] have been friends for about 6 years now, but it wasn’t until about 3 years ago that she and I started getting really close. Sure, we’ve had our ups and downs in our relationship; periods of closeness followed by periods of us drifting apart, and so on. There was even a point where we were so close most of our classmates thought we were dating. She knows everything about me and I know everything about her, even all the dark stuff we like to hide from others. 

August of 2018 comes around and I leave for my first semester of college. The university I’m attending is about a 90-minute drive from where my friend and I live; however, I don’t have a car, so my friendship with her effectively becomes a long-distance one. At this time, we were in the midst of a period of drifting apart. While up at university, I try to maintain and foster closeness by reaching out to her by text at least once every day. At first, she responded to most of my messages. From these, I learn that a few things in her life aren’t going so well and she’s very stressed (for the sake of her privacy, I’ll keep the details vague). I try inviting discussion over the topics, but more-often-than-not, she would change the subject or drop it entirely. This goes on for 2-3 months.

I go home for fall break in mid-October and she and I hang out for an evening and catch up. We were very open and honest with each other about stuff and I get a clearer picture of the things happening in her life and I see how stressful things are for her. However, the night was very fun and it felt like she and I had never grown apart. It felt like we had never been closer. I go back up to university. Early November rolls around, and my best friend all but stops responding to my messages. I start sending them less often (wanting to not add more stress to her life) and I say things like “Hey, are you okay? Haven’t heard from you in a while.” I very rarely got a response. 

Mid-December comes around and I go home after finals week. I try a few times to organize another date-night, but she blows me off for two of my attempts (which I thought was completely understandable knowing how stressful her life was). Finally, we get dinner a couple days after Christmas. However, this is when I had noticed things had changed. My friend’s personality had significantly changed. Whenever I tried asking details about how her life was going, she would only give me shallow and superficial information. I felt like I had to pry details out of her. The rest of the night felt awkward to me because I almost felt like I was hanging out with a stranger, which hurt a little bit. 

The next night, I ask my friend if there’s another time within the next week that would work to hang out. I wanted to talk to her about how I felt a little hurt that she hadn’t included me in her life as she went through a radical personality change. Over text, she explains to me that a few things in her life just came crashing down and she’d have to face them within the next week. So, she requested that we just have a discussion over text. I explain to her how she appeared radically different to me the other night and that I felt hurt because she hadn’t kept in contact with me as she went through this change. I explained how the fact that she had changed wasn’t the thing that hurt; I was hurt by the fact that I couldn’t even tell that the change was happening because she wasn’t talking. 

After I got it all off my chest, she said her piece; among other things, she accused me of piling on more stress and making a problem out of something that isn’t a problem. Afterwards, she made it clear that she no longer wanted to be friends with me or have contact with me in the future. 

So, Reddit, I need your brutally-honestly opinion. AITA?