For some context, I live in a flatshare with two other people and two cats (officially mine, the adoption was unanimously decided though and we all take care of them together). Now my roommate is usually the last one to leave the house in the morning so she offered to take on morning feedings. (The other roommate is absent in this story, so not relevant.)

This morning, I saw her leave the house before me (without saying a word) and, noticing she hadn't fed the cats, fed them myself and texted her afterwards. Here's the translated conversation (I tried to keep the tone as accurate as possible):

&gt;Me: Did you feed the cats this morning?  
&gt;  
&gt;Roommate: No, I had to leave before 8\*  
&gt;  
&gt;\**our feeding times are usually 8am and 8pm, though she often fed them earlier too - which is a no-brainer of course, if no one's gonna be home after 8 I don't expect them to strictly adhere to those times*  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: Ok next time can you let me know if you're gonna be out earlier? I fed them before leaving, but since you usually feed them in the mornings I rely on that and don't want to have to worry about them going without food after I'm out of the house  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Okay. How about you tell me when you're home until 8? Because I don't always have the time, or I'm in a hurry. Maybe we can make a plan for that?  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: I always have to leave before 8 when I'm working, and you feed them often enough before 8? I understand that you can be in a hurry sometimes but you explicitely said you always give them breakfast and they shouldn't have to suffer from this shit. Until now I always left before you... so it's not the first time they haven't gotten food from you? That just really doesn't fly. Then you should tell me I can't rely on you feeding them and it's no problem, I'll just do it myself from now on  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Calm down?! I don't get why you're coming at me like this, I always take care of them and today I just didn't have the time for it, that stuff happens and it's not my fault  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: Bro this is about the cats not ending up without food just because you can't communicate, simple as that. If you say you always feed them in the mornings, and I see you feed them in the mornings (even before 8) I assume you do that and I don't go and feed them a 2nd time. We saw each other last evening and this morning so you had enough opportunity to tell me I need to feed them, but just leaving without a word is pretty shitty. I'm honestly a bit shocked you're being this unreasonable, my goal is not to chew you out but that my cats don't go without food...  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Are you being serious? It's ok, you already are chewing me out. As if I'm the only person in the house who can take care of them.  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: You said you do breakfast. When people say something like this and usually do it, you can expect others to rely on it.  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Yes but sometimes I can't plan things like these!  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: Then fucking let me know!  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Sorry for fucking forgetting once, that's why I'm texting you now! It's not like it was intentional?  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: You're texting me? You replied only after I asked you and was already out of the house. So if I had left before you, the cats wouldn't have had any food the entire day? You're really not seeing the problem here? And again, this is not about you being in a hurry and not being able to plan these situations, it's about not communicating these things  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: You were up already!!! As if you can't hear when the cats are being fed  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: Yeah. I'm repeating my question:  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: &gt;So if I had left before you, the cats wouldn't have had any food the entire day?  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: What the fuck is wrong with you? What is this disrespectful bullshit?? They got food EVERY DAY, even in the mornings AND EVENINGS. And now this. I'm not doing anything anymore. It's your problem, then you don't have to worry any more.  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: Yeah, like I already told you.  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Yup. You give an inch, but they take a mile - constantly. You're welcome btw.  
&gt;  
&gt;Me: You're not the victim here, so save the bullshit.  
&gt;  
&gt;RM: Ungrateful is all I'm gonna say :)

TL;DR: Roommate who usually feeds the cats in the morning left without doing so and without saying a word. I let her know that doesn't fly and she has to let me know so they don't go without food because I assumed she already fed them, shitstorm ensues.

I'll have to add she has a habit of not cleaning up after herself (and a ton of other annoyances that just make her seem really inconsiderate) and always playing the victim when you point these things out to her. While this may not justify me being the asshole in this story, it might give some explanation as to why I reacted so aggressively from the get go.

So, *am* I the asshole?