Hear me out

So every time me and my girlfriend argue about something she does something that I think is very manipulative and it’s starting to make me not want to ever communicate 

For example, any time we get into an argument she almost immediately and without fail becomes very emotional (crying) and telling me she hates herself and wants to die and that I would be better off without her. 

Now I love my girlfriend very much and this is completely unfounded since most of time they are pretty minor arguments, but without fail she just talks about how much she hates herself and wishes she had never said something.

When I try and bring this up to her she tells me that I’m not letting her communicate and she’s just trying to tell me how she feels. I try to explain to her that I also feel upset sometimes and mad at myself but I certainly don’t vocalize that because it wouldn’t help anything. So I’ve been asking her to refrain from saying she hates herself and listing off negative aspects.

I genuinely have no clue if I’m in the wrong here because I have high functioning autism and can’t read people super well. But on the other end she has borderline personality disorder and I think it may be possible she’s manipulating me possibly without even knowing it? 

Hopefully that made since because I’m terrible at writing, but AITA??