Long story short my boyfriend's mother just died of cancer. He took a one way flight home last night(it's a 10 hour drive away) because he was told to come home to say goodbye. Unfortunately when he got there he literally found her not breathing when he went to go greet her. 

I stayed here for a number of reasons. He has two cats so I'm taking care of them, we just spent two weeks there at the beginning of last month because she was taken out of hospice. He didn't ask me to come with him because he didn't know how long it would be because of that last time, like he only got a one way ticket. He needed to leave immediately and didn't have time to prepare anything anyway, but I'm also afraid of flying so that's probably why I didn't go either. I'm looking for work here right now too so I would have to be here for any interviews. It's a shitty situation because I want to be there for him and have told him I'm here for whatever he needs. 

This is all really traumatic for him and I can't imagine what he's going through right now. I feel super awkward talking to him because I don't know how to help and I wish I was just there for him. I haven't formally asked him because "Should I go to your mother's funeral?" is such an awkward question to ask someone and I don't wanna put that on him. I have outright told him "I'm here for you and whatever you need or want." and all that. His family only recently found out he was gay and I know his extended family is somewhat conservative. I wouldn't wanna make a scene at such an important event if it's inappropriate for me to be there. I've never met them because they are from a different country, but I've met his mother and know his immediate family and siblings. I know I have to take care of his cats but I also know his friends have taken care of them before. However I don't know any of them closely enough to talk to them, like I don't have most of their numbers even though I've hung out with them in groups. We also *just* had someone stay over during our few week trip away to watch the cats so I don't know if those resources are exhausted because it's also exam season for them (grad students) and I'm not in school so I'd be the best to take care of them.

It's a shitty situation and I don't know if I'm just an ass for not directly asking if I should go or not or if it's like "oh duh he's your boyfriend go obviously" or if these circumstances make sense. If he asked me to come or to go then I would drive in an instant but I don't know if it's an asshole thing of me to want him to tell me. 