Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : About 6 weeks ago I was having drinks with a friend I shall call E. At the time I was not in a great place mentally, I had been off my meds and was spiraling a bit. And then I started talking about how tough it is being single. Which led me to asking E why she was with her boyfriend and not me. I didn't mean it in a bad way. E had known for a long time that I have feelings for her but she made it clear she wasn't interested, which I accepted. I consider us getting together as likely as me learning the ability to fly. But the fact that she described her boyfriend as quiet got to me. My self conscious tells me that I will never have a relationship with anyone because I am quiet so it was difficult to hear she was with someone that's quiet. I was just looking for a reason, like I am not her type, whatever. Just something to stop them stupid voices in my head. 

Me asking this clearly upset. I definitely regret it and felt guilty and I apologised. I thought it was a dumbass fuck up but AITA to say that to her?

Anyway, I find out recently that she is still mad at me. I had no idea she was mad at me at the time, let alone still. I didn't think what I said was that bad. The way we left it on the night, she said things were fine, that I could still call her, later in the week or the next day. I instead sent her a message as she had said that she wanted space, so I just apologised and said I would. She never responded to it but she wished me a Merry Christmas. I tried organising to go for a few drinks and she would agree but then cancel or something would come up or she was busy doing something else. I understand she was asking for space but I really wanted to go for drinks one last time before the end of Jan. As we was both moving away and I knew it would be months before we could meet up again. I also messaged her at one point asking if I can talk about mental health things as she was someone that often said to speak to her if I was struggerling. 

Anyway, roll on to now, I found out she is still mad, that she has been lying to me to avoid conflict. She also tells me, that she don't want to be there for my mental health. Which I accept she has every right to not want to go for drinks or want to speak to me about my mental health. But I am just really pissed off that she didn't tell me any of this. We are supposed to be close friends, I feel like she should have told me if she was mad so we could talk about it and I could try to make things right. I feel like she should have told me if she didn't want to go for drinks. It's also very difficult do

I had another friend stop speaking to me for a long time for reasons unrelated to me and that really fucked me up mentally. Then when we started speaking again it was fine for a bit but then when I annoyed her she didn't tell me and just blanked me. I am only beginning to get over that now, but I struggle to believe anyone likes me and just assume everyone hates me. So when I found out E has been lying to me about going for drinks, it felt like that all over again, which really hurt. 

It's also very difficult for me to open up about mental health becauae I am constantly worried about bothering people. So, it's really difficult to not be told if someone doesn't want to hear it.

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AITA for being angry at her for avoiding me and not telling me the truth?