I’m so sorry for the long long post, I shortened as best I could!


Tl;dr: 
AITA for having a fight with coworkers and raising my voice first after they didn’t do work I needed urgently?


So I am currently managing a big project at work. For this project i have been told by boss and CEO to get any support I need, including from three of the team leaders, V, M and A.

One week ago, I asked them to please do some work for the project, explained what I needed, if they had any questions etc, deadline yesterday, because I had to deliver the final work today. Come today, none of them had done any of the work, and also not approached me letting me know that they couldn’t meet the deadline. Since that was the third time within a few months that they ignored an assignment from me, I asked them for a meeting today. We usually get along great, are even friends, and I told them I was disappointed and a little hurt because it felt like they weren’t taken me seriously and because I couldn’t rely on them. I was afaik relatively calm, voice maybe a bit shaky cause I’m an easy crier. 

A then says they had too much on their plate, and why didn’t I do the whole assignment instead of them, when I had time for stuff like “task she deemed not important, but actually was done for THEM, because if I didn’t, their new hires would not have computers, desks or chairs when they started next week”.

I was now getting mad because I didn’t feel like justifying myself for doing work that benefited them, when we were talking about work they had neglected to do. I will admit, I raised my voice at that and it became a fight. V was mostly quietly crying, M was trying to calm us down and A and I were arguing loudly. After a long back and forth, M apologized on all of their behalf and said she was sorry they let me down and they would work on the issue in the future. I told them I’d just need a bit to calm down but that we would get over this. V was still crying and i asked if I had hurt her with something I said, she said no, it’s just a bit much, she needs to calm down. So I left to finish the work.

Couple hours later, my boss calls me in and questions me about the incident. Turns out V and A had told her about it, even though we said we were not going to involve her(boss). I told my boss we’d deal with it and confronted V and A, now really freaking mad and definitely shouting. They think I’m the bad guy because I shouldn’t have yelled at them. I said that they yelled back and that sometimes fights just escalate, they are adamant that the whole thing is my fault and I should have just sent an email saying they missed the deadline. After half an hour of this i just left the office crying.

I can definitely appreciate that I’m a fairly emotional person and I know I should not have yelled at them - but it’s not like they were innocently sitting there being screamed at by a banshee- they provoked me and it was an argument with raised voices on both sides. But I’m too involved in this, I need someone from the outside to maybe tell me I’m in the wrong. So, AITA?