Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Context: my wife (31) and I (31) have been together for 8 years, is pregnant with our first child (12 weeks, planned), and while we've told family members, we haven't announced to the greater world. Lately we've been talking about when we can announce, and while before she didn't want to because of concerns around early pregnancy complications, she now says she doesn't want to because she is worried she'll be reduced to just being known as "an incubator" and that her identity will revolve completely around the baby. Also, we moved ~2000 away from our families, so we don't get to see them often.

I've asked her why this worries her and she said it's because my family only asks about how how big the baby is, or how sick she is. This is definitely true, as we have a big group family text with all 8 of us and it's the main thing they ask about every week. I said, "What else would you like them to ask you about?", and she said "Anything else."

She's one of the most interesting people I've ever met, but she doesn't talk much unless you dig for it. She's an introvert, I'm an extrovert. When we first met I put in almost all of the effort into our relationship. She grew up racing speed boats with her family, went to school for an economics degree but then switched to computer engineering later, loves beer and the same kinds of music I do. Her typical day however is to come home, sit on the couch with our dogs, and watch FRIENDS reruns until it's time for bed. To be absolutely clear, I have no problem with this, but if you ask her "What's up lately?", she'll just respond, "Not much."

She doesn't really participate much in our group texts, and has muted the conversation on her phone because "otherwise it goes off all day and distracts me from work". I'm totally fine with it, but I told her it gives off the impression she doesn't want to talk with my side of the family because it's the main way we communicate. She said that if someone wants to talk to her they can call her to talk because she doesn't like texting as much and they can talk to her directly. I told her that while that is true, she's given off the vibe that she wants to be left alone, and that has most likely deterred anyone from doing that.

I told her she's a closed book, with extremely interested chapters and stories of her life inside, but when she refuses to talk to people that's an active decision that then really only gives them her "cover" to look at, and right now her "cover" is "pregnant daughter/sister-in-law". I even flipped it and asked her what she asks our neighbor about when they talk, who has a 1yr old son, and she said "... how her son is doing...". I told her that most people aren't going to dig in to find the good stories like I did, and she needs to open up a little bit and put effort into relationships with people if she wants them to get to know her.

Am I the/an asshole?