Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Alright so I think this has asshole behavior on both sides but here it goes.

My bf is best friends with a girl, we will call her L. L and him play music together and he will hang out with her for hours and they get drunk and play music together, usually a couple of times a week. This is a relatively new friendship--a few months, they met working together. In the beginning I would get mad because he would get super drunk at her place and end up staying over - happened a few times a month. I know its not a cheating thing (really guys, it's not), but it still had my jealousy meter going. I am open minded and I have guy friends, and also very much value my autonomy, so as not to be hippocritical, I pretty much worked through these emotions to just get over it. For reference, I hadn't met her yet at this point.

We met around Halloween for the first time, and it was fine. Hung out a couple of times since then. I like her and I am glad they are doing something crwayjve together. Apparently she suffers from anxiety (my bf does as we) and is somewhat intimidated by me.

Anyway so last night we were all hanging out together... And I weirdly felt like the third wheel. The majority of the night they were talking to each other, talking about inside jokes, that weren't relevant to me, not including me in the conversation, etc. I don't really blame her for it though, more him for not facilitating balance. After some drinks we were all walking back to our place and I told him "you should just be with her". 
Seeing how they were together, how she seems to have more patience for some of his no longer endearing antics (we've been together 3 years and his eccentricities can be obnoxious at times), and feeling left out the whole night revved up my jealousy and made me feel insecure. I obviously didn't mean it but it is what it is. Thinking about it now, I probably said it wanting reassurance.

He said or did something reassuring and it was a little better. Then we went to our place and they played music the rest of the night (drunkenly, not that great, repeating the same song over and over), which again was a 2 person thing.... Not including me at all.

So today he told me that what I said really upset him. I was pretty incredulous because I feel like i am the one who should be upset at him for third wheeling me all night. Not only that... But he TOLD HER what I said. So what could've been a conversation between my bf and I talking about how I shouldn't be jealous and how he should do a better job including me when we all hang, now has escalated, which will make it even less likely that L and I will have a decent relationship--it's just awkward now. 

So now he's mad at me and acting like all of this is my fault, when I see multiple areas that he screwed up. Sure i said something stupid but is it really that bad? 

TLDR: My bf has a good friend and band mate who is a girl. After all three of us hanging and drinking, I got jealous because they were third wheeling me all night (leaving me out of conversations/Inside jokes/playing music together instead of hanging the three of us) and I told him "he should just be with her". Now he's pissed I said that and it's getting blown up (he also told her what I said) , but I still think what he did was shitty, and that he is mostly in the wrong. 





