Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I will be using simple terms so that people who aren’t familiar with the game will still get the gist of what is going on. 

I’m from a much higher level than my friend, but made a second account to play with them. I play an off-tank on my main account. (Think of it as off-white vs white. Same class, different roles.) They are best with a damage character, but their confidence is lacking and they often won’t pick a damage character unless forced to (everyone else picked tank, off tank or healer). Usually this means they wind up healing.

They aren’t a bad healer, I’d say above average for their level. But they are a FANTASTIC damage player. They make mistakes like anyone else of course, but our games shine when they play damage. 

Out of maybe 50 games we played today, I would ask them to play damage right off the bat maybe 30 of them. Of those 30, they actually chose to play damage 5-6 times max. That meant they were often healing or tanking. This left me in a bad spot as an off tank.

Because I am from a higher level, when compared to people at my friend’s level? My mediocre tends to be on par with their good-great. Tired of asking my friend to play damage only to get rejected, and tired of having to try and churn out damage as non-damage characters? I started playing damage myself. Every few games I would offer to play whatever role they were playing so that they could damage instead. Almost every time they refused. Eventually I stopped asking.

So we arrive at our last game of the day. Another duo in our team automatically takes both damage slots. They pick...bad characters. Bad for the map, bad when taking into account the rest of the team and bad as far as their ability to output damage. I play along and fill the empty off-tank role. 

Turns out that not only are the damage players picking bad characters, they are actually bad at playing them. I try to up their chances by going a third healer. We lost the first of two rounds and the duo makes the same picks again at the start of round 2. I finally bite the bullet and go third damage. I pick the best damage character for the situation....this happens to be the damage character my friend plays the most.

I did not ask my friend if they would go damage. I FELT that 

1. I had asked them many times that day and they clearly didn’t want to play damage 
2. I was worried they would feel pressured or that I was being obnoxious 
3. Often? When the situation is dire they will go third damage, knowing I will swap around to facilitate this.  They had the entire first round to choose to do this and did not. This, even though I had switched to a third healer in a silent attempt to encourage them.
4. After picking third damage I waited silently to see if my friend would ask me to get off so that they could play that hero.  They didn’t. Later I found out that they had “resigned” themselves to a loss and as such weren’t paying attention to who was playing what on our team. 

The second my friend realizes that I have gone third damage as their character, they ask me why I am playing them. Not why I am third damage, but why I am playing their character.

Me: “Because I knew if I asked you wouldn’t.”

Obviously, this was an assumption on my part. For the reasons stated above, I really didn’t think they would do it. We needed it. I did it. 

They were livid. In their mind, I should have asked them to play damage verbally. I conceded that I could see why they felt this way and maybe I should have. I gave them my reasons for not doing so and was promptly told my reasons were asinine and stupid. 

They felt I was “holding it against them” that they refused to play damage for the bulk of the previous games, even when I asked them to. That my attempts to get them to play damage in the past matches were “irrelevant” to me asking them to play damage in THAT match. They also implied that they “couldn’t” go damage in past games because I was playing damage. This, despite the fact that I would often ask to switch roles with them. 

Finally - and this is where I wonder about my potential asshole-ness? They said it was wrong of me to pick “their” character. I told them I didn’t think there was anything wrong with this.

Them: “I’ll just play (a character I play) or (another character I play) and then you can be upset at how shitty I am at them.”

Me: “That’s fine? I don’t mind you playing characters I play. I know I’m not the best at (my friend’s damage character) but it was what we needed and I didn’t think you’d do it.”

Them: “and how did that work out for you?”

Me:  “Well, I WAS the last to die...”

Them: “Because of me!!” (Remember, they were healing.)

Me: “I’m not saying I did the best job, but I didn’t think that you would switch to damage.”

Them: “Did you ask?”

Me; “No, but I told you why I didn’t and you told me they were stupid reasons.”

Them: “Because they were!”

This wouldn’t upset me in this scenario or even at the start of a fresh match. But by my friend’s admission, this is what upset them the most.
So, please tell me:

Am I the asshole for choosing to play the character my friend normally plays?