Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Hey, sorry if this looks awful.. I’m currently on mobile reddit plus I’m pretty inexperienced on posting. Title looks bad but I’ll try my best to explain the situation. This is kind of a long one, so TL;DR at the bottom. 

Here’s a little background information: I’m 20 years old living with 2 brothers (18/21, I mention age so everyone knows they’re actual adults not kids) and my mother.

So, these past few years have been.. kind of turbulent for everyone. We used to live with my mothers ex for over 7 years, my best guess is he helped out economically but he was rather abusive emotionally and mentally towards her. 2 years ago, she decided that it was the right moment to end it finally and move away. Problem being, she didn’t have enough (or basically any) funds as she didn’t have a job. So,  I used all my savings to move us to another home with our grandmother. I mention our grandmother because she was the reason my mother didn’t have a job,  she had Alzheimer’s and my mother cared for her. After the move to this new place, my younger brother dropped out of high school for too many absences and he never sought looking for a job. Every single day, he would just wake up and start gaming.. even asking for money when he knew we were all struggling. A few months into the move, my mother discovered she could get paid to watch my grandmother from home so she finally started making income. The living situation starts becoming easier; my mother looks happier without the abuse (even finding a new boyfriend!) and my older brother and I don’t mind helping out with rent of course. 

Fast forward to about 3 months ago. My grandmother passed away due to health complications. Completely distraught, my mother decides to move us closer to her boyfriend. However, she didn’t have the funds so we used my savings again (my older brother who works isn’t great with money as he would prefer to spend it on weed and other personal expenses) and so here we are at the current home. My mother somehow had a job at a local waitressing place for a month as she knew the owner (walking distance from the house) but she said she quit due to stress. So I’m left with the rent and other utility bills with my brother. This isn’t the main reason I’m planning on moving out.. I just know I won’t go anywhere in life if things stay this way. My brother is the only one with a car since the one I bought was “given” to a family member (I was under 18 so I guess it was more without my consent) and I can’t save for a car with all the economic responsibility (plus insurance would be pricey) so I had to drop out of college for them as well (transportation/job issues). 

As these few weeks have passed by, my mother and brothers haven’t stepped up. My younger brother doesn’t even help around the house while I’m gone at work. He’ll sleep until noon and stay up on his computer gaming. My mother will party almost every night with her boyfriend and sleep in late to the day as well. I know I sound like I’m ranting, but I can’t specify how.. unmotivated they seem. 

Here’s where the move comes in. So, the opportunity I was offered by my friend (who’s military) was to move in with him and his husband and experience a whole new (European) country and eventually get a job there, school etc (basically start a new life) it would initially be rent free, and it‘ll be an escape.  I mention this because I wouldn’t want someone to be confused with me moving out of one place just to have the same responsibility in another place. While this is already all planned, I haven’t told my family yet and I’ve been thinking non-stop about the situation I would probably leave them in.. a conflict. However, my decision is  made. Probably notify them 2-3 weeks prior to my passage. 

Now, would I be the asshole for forcing my family to take care of themselves while I attempt to live my own life? 

TL;DR Family not working, rely on me and older brother for bills. I’ve planned to move away soon to leave/force them handle their own bills/get jobs. 