So a bit of backstory-I come from a substance abusing family.Ive never done drugs or anything of the sort myself but most of my relatives are composed of functioning alcoholics, drug addicts or a mix of the two.He has never had a problem with my fears until now.

Tonight he drank more than usual.Which isnt a problem for me.But he was crashing into things, dropping his phone etc &amp; just causing me to worry in general.The last straw was when he went to sit down &amp; tipped in his chair nearly smashing his head against the desk.I told him he was scaring me &amp; that I wanted him to slow down until dinner was ready(about 20 minutes at that point).He said “I’m fine”. Mind you I dont doubt that hes okay physically I’m just concerned.I know I would have been overreacting to ask him to stop drinking all together which is why I opted to ask him to slow down until he had some food in his system.I didnt think this was asking much for all of 20 minutes.But this blew up.He kept repeating I’m fine over &amp; over until I finally said “well Im not Im scared!”He said “I know my limitations,I can f*cking get up for work tomorrow,I can handle myself,you dont need to worry,Im fine”. This time much angrier.

This went back &amp; forth until he pointed out he hadnt drank since he sat down.Which is true.But from my perspective it was because we were too busy arguing not because he was choosing not to.I asked him if it was planned which he insisted “Im fine” should have conveyed &amp; it was my problem for interpreting it wrong.I told him I took it how anyone else would in the situation.If you angrily say “Im fine!” That doesn’t convey “okay Ill slow down”. I even gave him an example / if you go to a bar &amp; tell a guy hes drank too much &amp;he says “Im fine,I know my limits” that tells you he doesnt think he needs to stop.He then accused me of getting mad over the phrasing. Once again back &amp; forth where(I admit I went into a scolding tone w it unintentionally) I resorted to telling him the difference.While “okay” &amp; “fine” are interchangeable &amp; either by itself are words of confirmation, saying “Im” in front of it turns it from agreement to description. 

He refuses to admit that he wasnt conveying his words, saying its my fault for not understanding.I told him that if he had been conveying it perfectly like he claims I wouldve understood right away.All he had to say was “okay” or anything to that effect -rather than defend his limits.He then ignored me at every attempt to speak insisting he had to eat &amp; to sleep going as far as to push me out of the way(not roughly I’m not claiming physical abuse &amp;he has never been physical with me).He insisted I only wanted to hear that I was right &amp; he was wrong. I admit I didn’t do well with the situation but in the end..am I the ass? Did I just really not understand what he was saying?Honest feed back please

TL;DR Asked Bf to slow down on alcohol for 20 minutes until dinner, turned into an argument about his limits and our communication.Am I the ass?