Those words are really hard to say out loud, even though out loud is just on the internet in this instance.

Almost two years ago, on father's day, my sisters and I were unable to get in touch with our dad to wish him a happy father's day. By mid-day we were all pretty concerned because he's never far from his phone. I still have a friend that lives near him (my sisters and I are about an hour away) so I asked him to go check on him. He found him laying on the floor of his bedroom, he had had a stroke. The doctors think he had been on the floor like that for over 30 hours by the time he was found.

My dad was smart. He was a really intelligent, funny, and insightful person. I never got to say goodbye to that version of my dad. After the stroke he's different. He's not the same person he used to be. I still call him dad, but he's a total stranger to me.

There's a part of me that wishes we never found him. His life in the two years is not what he would want. He hasn't regained much of his mobility or cognition. At 72 years old he was still hiking, and playing guitar, and ice skating, and going out with friends. He was always an incredibly social person. Now he just sits in a wheelchair and watches TV.

AITA for having these thoughts?