The life of my now ex-wife \[F, 28\] and me \[M, 27\] has been very challenging in the past few years.

We married quite early, when we were 18 &amp; 19, and moved into a our own apartment and started studying.

After a while she started to lose the social connection within her fellow students. She faked going to courses and eventually openly didn't go anymore. We shared some mutual friends, mainly people that came from my study program (some of those are still my (best) friends today). She started to evade these social contacts too.

I always found excuses for her, and this lasted for years.

I knew this solution was not perfect, but what should I do? However, we had an argument about this and she made me feel bad for living my life without her. After our argument I started staying home too (except for drinking in university), played pc all day and isolated myself from my friends and family and study program. Didn't handle necessary things and soon we had rent debt of about 2k and I had to work alot to get this out oft he way which stopped my own studying for 16 months.

After working, I finished my Bachelor thesis, and got my degree and started my Master!

I started to tell friends and people around me about the situation (my mental ill wife and how I had to take care of it alone) and invited my parents and finally she/we actively started looking for a therapis. Since then, she is actively in therapy and making great progress. 

Part of one therapy session was to think about our relationship. She brought the topic 4 months ago and we decided that she will never be free and independent with me and that we have different life goals, so we split up consensual. It took me a bit of time to tell my friends, and despite being clear that this is the right decision, it took me my own traumatic event to reflect this and realize, how all this afflicted me all those years and how it nearly killed my personality and restricted my happiness / life. 

Since that moment I started to avoid home (so she has freedom and because I want freedom, too). I made a to-do list which includes telling my parents, organizing money (for \*both\* of us so she will be able to afford the apartment and moving out as fast as I can. I work really hard to get my list done and can't wait to finally move out. She dislikes that I am so fast and enthusiastic about it and feels betrayed by me and that she needs more time. Her dog (living at her mother which she didn't visit for years, too) died last year, but she just heard about it a few weeks ago, and she starts to attempt a measure to get back in work life right now, which is really tough for her. But despite moving out, I will totally support her and help her when she needs me - she just has to "come to me" and I will not try to solve her problems anymore by default. 

Am I the asshole for the timing and the fact, that is want it all and I want it now?