Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I sent out a group message on Facebook to have my boyfriends - let’s call him Frank - and my friends to meet us at his favorite bar for his birthday. He didn’t know I was inviting anyone and thought it was just him and I going out for a few drinks to celebrate. 

He is surprised and everyone is having fun, about an hour after being there one of his oldest friends shows up, I really like this friend of his and his wife and sweet kiddos. Let’s call him Brian. All of us are drinking and having a good time, Brian brought along his parents because Frank looks at him as his second parents and they like to have a drink once in awhile. Brian’s dad buys us a round of shots and Brian is already kind of drunk by this point. Everyone’s talking and doing their own thing and Brian walks by and smacks my butt then drunkenly says “I’m so sorry, so so sorry. Don’t tell Frank, that wasn’t cool”. I kind of shake it off because I know people can act stupidly while drinking. Everyone else was busy socializing with one another and didn’t notice. That is incident #1.

A drink or two later we decide it’s time to sing happy birthday because Brian’s parents are getting tired and are going to leave and we want them to take part. The group of us all get together and sing happy birthday and then Brian wipes frosting on my face. I shake it off because it wasn’t much frosting and he was just being goofy. Then he proceeds to wipe a whole cupcakes worth of frosting on my nose, mouth and chin. Smashes it on my face. I’m a little irritated at this point but kind of cover my face and go to the restroom to wipe it off. I don’t say anything because I’ve had a few drinks myself and figure I’m being too sensitive. That’s incident #2. 

While our group of friends is kind of scattered but in a general area, I finish up a conversation with a few of our friends and migrate over to my boyfriend and Brian to see how Frank is doing. Brian grabs us into a group hug and was telling me to make sure Frank has a good birthday Monday (his actual birthday) because he’s his oldest friend and some other drunken rambles. During this hug I feel a hand wander to my bra hook (on top of my shirt) on my back and feel my bra start to unclasp. I have 4 clips on the back so it isn’t the easiest and I felt the hand trying pretty hard during this group hug, it was halfway undone by the time it was over. Frank knows I’m modest and would never embarrass me by unhooking my bra in a public place. I confirmed this by asking him on the ride home and the next morning. That was incident #3. It made me feel really uncomfortable and dirty. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin Frank’s birthday get together. 

Before the end of the night Brian hugs me and inhales and says “mmm you smell like” pauses for a second and then says “crazy”. That’s incident #4. It just seemed rude and totally unwarranted. 

At the end of the night we said our goodbyes and Brian needed a ride home. I drove him home with Frank and we discovered he was locked out of his house and kept saying he would stay outside it was no big deal. I insisted no, it was cold, we were staying until we got him inside. I called his wife who I consider a friend (we aren’t very close but still a friend nonetheless) and asked her to unlock the door and apologized profusely for his level of drunkenness. When Brian realized I called his wife he pointed to me and said “you, go” and pointed to my car. He said to Frank “you’re good” but pointed to me again “you go, you called my wife”. I stepped away and we waited till she came downstairs to let him in. 

The next morning I explained to Frank what happened. If it had just been one incident of drunk stupidity, I probably would’ve shaken it off like it wasn’t a big deal. I used to work at a bar, I know people can act extremely different when drunk. I couldn’t shake how badly Brian made me feel multiple times. I told Frank I didn’t want to be around Brian when he has been drinking ever again. That I spent half of the night feeling badly and dirty, like I was in the wrong. I held back tears a lot of the night and my patience started wearing very thin. He kind of shrugged it off. I spoke to my girl friend about what happened, she was there but again I didn’t tell anyone since I didn’t want to ruin the night. She said that Frank should talk to Brian and tell him he owes me an apology. I kind of agree but didn’t have the guts to tell him. I told Frank I agreed with my friend. He hasn’t talked to him and I’m kind of hurt. I don’t want to come between Frank and Brian as they are old middle school friends (they’re both in their early 30’s now) and I would never give Frank an ultimatum to pick one of us. I just feel like the issues need to be addressed so Brian knows that this kind of behavior isn’t going to fly, inebriated or not. AITA for being upset with my boyfriend? AITA for being upset with his friend?

TLDR: My boyfriend’s friend did quite a few degrading and embarrassing things to me while drunk at my boyfriend’s birthday gathering. My boyfriend hasn’t said anything to him. AITA for being upset with them both?