Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : My girlfriend and I (lets call her Jessica) had broken up initially about 8-months in after an arguement we had. After we got back together, Jessica said that I wasn't verbally expressive and emotionally available enough. I agreed that I should and would work on it and said that it was something that was difficult because in my household my parents had never said I love you or really been hyper-emotional with me in the 21 years before my first serious relationship. Chinese people show love through acts of service and it's just sort of assumed. To supplement our relationship, we started doing periodic check-ins for us to voice our problems. In terms of showing affection, my strong points are physical affection, spending uninterrupted quality time, and being supportive as well as being a good listener.

With that being said recently, about 1.5 years after our breakup, there was a tipping point, I had been improving throughout that duration, but things really started to change 1 to 2 months before the breakup. Jessica explained that this change was coming too late and that she felt like she had been minimizing this need for too long, that I had been hurting her this entire time, and that she wasn't down to wait years for change. I should note that this came after a conversation she had with her mom, with the breakup coming days later.

I definitely regret not being able to fix my problem sooner, but in our relationship check-ins she stopped acknowledging the problem for a year, so I thought things were on the right track. Apparently this was her just adapting to the situation because she thought she was asking for too much and that I was snippy with her once when she brought it up. As such she felt like she was doing most of the emotional legwork, but never said anything about it and would always say that she was happy when i asked. 

In terms of my personality; I rarely raise my voice and am always open to talk about things. We never got into heated arguments or said hurtful things, because while we both got frustrated, we still respected what the other person had to say. 

This has been eating at me, and I just want to know if I was the one being a jerk. Any questions I will try to answer as unbiased and as truthful as possible. 