Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : The story starts about a year and a half ago when I was out of state for work. My wife 3 month old daughter were going to visit my family out of state on their way to visiting me on my work trip. A couple of days before the trip my mom tells my wife that during her visit they are going to visit my grandparents. My grandmother is a huge chain smoker, and to make matters worse she smokes indoors. My daughter has recently recovered from pneumonia and croup, so my wife was not on board with being stuck in a smoker’s house for several hours. (It was early winter, so going outside to hang out was not an option). 

This started a big shit show between my parents and my wife. My mom (who has asthma btw) claimed that she grew up in a smokers house so it shouldn’t be a problem. My step dad and mom claimed that my wife was “a new mother” and that she was being overprotective. My wife tried to explain to them the dangers of secondhand smoke over the phone and through shared articles, but they took it as here acting snobby. While it sucked being in the middle of this, I sided with my wife. Long story short she didn’t visit them that winter, and as far as I know my parents never told my grandparents why. 

Fast forward to this week. My daughter is 19 months old, and still has issues. We actually have an appointment to see a pediatric pulmonologist this month. Oh and my wife is 20 weeks pregnant. We are planning a trip to visit my family. My grandparents are in a new house, but grandma still smokes indoors. This time my parents said they “don’t want to get in the middle of things,” because they know my grandparents are gonna invite us over. They want to leave it up to me to tell them why we won’t. Which is fine I guess. 

WIBTA if I tell my grandparents that we aren’t going to visit their house but they can come see us at my parents? I have a feeling that even when I explain to them why, they are still gonna be hurt and pissed off. 

Just looking for an outside perspective. Thanks in advance. And sorry for any typos (I’m on mobile). 