Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : (Background) I have a lot of half siblings, but I didn’t grow up with any of them. 

Recently one of my older siblings (OS) came back into the family. OS is 10+ years older than me, knew I was alive and told my dad they didn’t want to be apart of the family and lived with their mother. Their reason was because of my dad, but they never once made an effort to have a relationship with me or even talk to me. My dad is old and sick and now OS wants to be in the family. My dad asked me to make an effort to include OS and I have; I have visited OS multiple times, called OS to talk and get to know each other and tried to form a relationship. But every time it was always me reaching out to OS, never the other way around. The only time OS comes to see us, is when my dad is paying for it. Anytime he doesn’t pay, OS declines the trip (OS lives in another state). 

(Now)
I never wanted to attend my graduation, but my parents asked me too. I agreed to do it for them but I told them I didn’t want it to be a big deal. They asked me who I wanted to be present and I said “my parents and two of my siblings” the two being the only ones that make an effort to have a relationship with me. My parents agreed and it was all set. 

Fast forward to a month before graduation, my dad asks me “how would you feel if I flew down OS for your graduation as a surprise” I said I wouldn’t like that. I didn’t give my reasons but they are: he can’t afford to keep spending money on OS, I have ZERO relationship with them and I already asked for this to not be a big deal. I also was starting to suspect the only reason OS was talking to us was money. It pissed me off that my graduation would become an “all-expenses paid trip” for them. I also didn’t want the day to turn into all about OS and welcoming OS and making OS feel good about themselves. If OS really wanted to attend my graduation, they would of paid for themselves and came or even asked ME if they could come. They never once said a word to me about my upcoming graduation. 

My dad was furious with me. He picked a fight with me everyday during the week leading up to it and finally he told me that I was selfish for not wanting OS there. He said “how dare you reject my child”. I retorted that he was the one being selfish and thinking of himself and OS when it was MY graduation. 

This has been a subject of tension for a while. Apparently he had told OS to come to my graduation and then had to tell OS they couldn’t come. He says I was a selfish asshole when honestly I don’t think I was. It’s not my fault he promised OS something before asking me. 

So, am I the asshole? 

If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. 

TLDR: half sibling I have no relationship with, that turned up into my life 8 months prior to graduation, was promised a free trip to my graduation by my dad. I told my dad I didn’t want them there, and he called me a selfish asshole. 
