Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : TL;DR I tell my (bi) friend serial anecdotes all the time, and while I don't mind them telling me anecdotes about them with women, I uncomfortable with them telling me ones about them with men. Would I be an asshole if I told them as much?

I'm gay and I talk to one of my friends about my experiences in grindr and with other guys all the time. I was very hesitant to at first because I didn't want to push into tmi territory or talk about sexual stuff all the time if it would make them uncomfortable, especially because they are bi ace. But they've assured me they find my anecdotes amusing, they like learning about the culture of the community through my stories, and they don't think I'm oversharing and will let me know if I make them uncomfortable.

They have recently started also exploring relationships, and when they talk to me about their conversations with and thoughts about women I enjoy it and find it amusing an dome discussing it with them. But when they talk about guys it makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel right in it, like when they joke about how all women are goddesses and they always forget how comparatively gross men are until they start messaging with them, I feel justified in being upset by that. The same sorts of behaviors and interactions with men they complain about are my favorite sort of interactions, and totally normal and not creepy or gross stuff.

But sometimes I'll make a joke or anecdote about me and another guy, and they'll relate by shooting back a joke or anecdote about them with a guy. And that makes me uncomfortable. I'd say there are three reasons for that.

1. I don't like the idea that their experiences with men, as a non-binary bi ace person, are really comparable to mine, as a gay man.

2. We kinda hooked up once. I was absolutely trashed, and I hated it while I was happening even though I didn't really try to stop it, and I was messed up over it for weeks afterward. It's one of my biggest regrets in my life, and thinking about this person interacting serially with men just reminds me of that and brings back all those feelings.

3. Outside of our one experience, I really assumed ace meant they weren't interested in sexual interactions or whatever. In my head they're very much a non-sexual entity, so hearing them talk about personal sexual anecdotes makes me feel weird. Like realizing your teacher probably has sex: it's perfectly acceptable and normal, but uncomfortable because of who they are in relation to you. This is my ace friend. My other friends making me aware that they fuck is fine, but my ace friend making me aware that they fuck is weird, because of the implications of being the ace friend. Idk.

Anyway. They picked up that I was uncomfortable and asked me if it made me feel weird that they're relating their sexual stuff to mine and if they should stop/filter more. The honest answer is yes. It makes me feel weird when its about guys, and they can relate all they want with their interactions with women but I would be more comfortable if they filtered out the guy stuff. But they let me talk free-range about my guy stuff, and I feel like an asshole for not being equally open to them, and like to be a good friend I need to work through it/get over it.