Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My fiancé’s ex was found brain dead from a heroin overdose this past week. She’s been very sad, and I really do feel for her and his family, but at the same time I find myself some what emotionally distant from her. Not that I feel insecure that she had feelings for him, but that ultimately I hated this guy and can’t match her feelings. 

I never knew him personally. The first time I ever heard about him was early on in our relationship when my fiancé showed me messages he had sent her of him and his friend talking shit about me and trying to get her to hangout with them. I brushed it off as a jealous ex. Why wouldn’t he feel anything but dislike for me?  The feeling was mutual.

I fell quickly for my fiancé and in the first year took her on a trip she had been wanting to go on for her birthday. In the middle of conversation at dinner, he calls and she answers. I felt extremely disrespected and we had a discussion about him. She told me all about how there were no feelings for him, that he used to hit her and pull her hair and threaten to come to her school and beat her up. I took her word and moved passed it, but not without new disdain for him. As time went by in our relationship, more details about him would come up here and there, none of them flattering.

Then came the news of his OD. I’ve been trying to be as supportive as possible of my fiancé, but I also feel torn and guilty. Deep down, I felt like if it had to happen to someone, who better than the druggie who put hands on my fiancé. I’m not angry at her for feeling sad, but I do feel slightly confused and slightly distant. 

I never heard a single positive word from her or her family about him until his passing. She’s been telling me and her friends about how he was a good guy. I do understand he must have had some great pain in his life, as I don’t believe well adjusted people just casually get in to heroin, but I also feel a lack of sympathy and empathy from the way he’s been framed for me all these years. 

Last night she was telling me again about how good of a guy he was and randomly mentioned how he never tried to get between us. I had finally had enough, not in an angry way, but I calmly reminded her of how that wasn’t true and that this was the man who hit her and threatened her. She told me that wasn’t true and that he had only ever pulled her hair and started explaining that by saying she had made him angry. Lies of him hitting her aside, I still said that’s no excuse for him putting his hands on you. I told her I didn’t care for him and it made her even more upset. 

AITA for being distant and not feeling anything from his passing?