Hi, I made a reddit account just to post this because it's been weighing on my mind all day.

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So I've been playing Dungeons and Dragons with this group for about 2 years; I'm the dungeon master, meaning I control the story arc, world, and overall flow of the game for anyone not familiar with it. One player in the group who has been a friend for years (henceforth referred to as R) constantly interrupts the game by talking loudly, arguing with my rules, and generally trying to get everything to go his way. Others in the group have complained about his disruptions as well, and I have had many conversations with him on how to improve.

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Now, to the current story. The session was already going awry because the group kept splitting off and fighting amongst themselves. I honestly don't care what their characters do, but I do care when the players yell and fight as it causes a disruptive environment. So R had been goofing off with another player, Z, all night. They sat in the corner and talked and didn't pay attention which slowed play down for others since I had to keep repeating myself for them. Z has really never been a problem so I simply told her to quiet down and she apologized (even though the behavior continued). R, however, refused to acknowledge what he was doing was wrong.

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By the end of the night, I was fed up. About 10 minuted before the session was due to end, I tossed a marker onto the table which R then picked up and hurled at my face (probably trying to be funny). I was pissed. So I waited until it was his turn in combat again and told him to either pick up the marker or have disadvantage on the rest of his rolls (roll twice and take the lowest). He refused and another friend picked up the marker to avoid confrontation. So I then told R to either apologize for his behavior or have the same punishment. He refused and said he would continue playing without listening. I skipped his turn and continued playing with the others. He proceeded to quit the game and then sulk around for the last ten minutes (because his car was trapped between others and he couldn't storm out like he wanted to).

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I was ready to go to bed after dropping off another friend, but I instead came home to 15 messages from R. He began by pouring out his heart about how much he was looking forward to the evening and I ruined it, and how he spent his own money to pay for snacks (we paid to feed him dinner), and generally being manipulative. He called me an ass/asshole exactly 7 times. He complained that I singled him out instead of dealing even punishments. I was reading these messages and crying (I cry when I get frustrated) so my mom snatched the phone from my hand and read the messages. He is no longer allowed at our house.

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I know I will eventually forgive him, but I was tired for taking to high road for once. So was he right? Was I being the asshole by punishing him over others?