I recently went through a break up with the girl I love. We weren't doing well. Her parents didn't like me and I felt she would never stand up for me despite how happy I made her. All that negative thinking caused a lot of problems between us. I was having anxiety and panic attacks left and right. She saw how it wasn't healthy and decided to end it. She wanted me to get help. I was upset because I was a normal functioning man before all of this and part of me feels like she is responsible for it. I was by her side when she was low, when she was going through depression. And for her to just dump me when I wasn't doing well felt like she was being selfish, considering I stayed despite her family hating me because she said she would break her head if she lost me. During the break up she said "I wish you well". I was mad that she would do this to me at this crucial point of my career where I am graduating and need to find a job.( I'm an international student). So I said, "look at the mess you have made here" and "don't come to my funeral". She mistook it as me threatening to hurt myself, when all I meant to imply was don't ever see me again. 

I went for counselling to deal with my issues and as I was talking to my counselor, I realized how used and betrayed I felt. I hadn't eaten or slept for 2 days and felt like puking all the time. So I texted her "I am in a lot of pain and suffering. I want you to know." I said "I was done being the good guy" implying I'm done being the guy crying and begging her to come back to my life. A few hours later I come across this post of hers on Reddit asking if she should alert my family/the police about me. I was shocked. Shattered. I hope and believe I can get over the fact of losing her and getting over her. But that she would think of me as a threat? Was so hurtful. It's been 3-4 days since that post and yet it comes back to haunt me that she would think that I was comfortable of "gutting her like a fish". I was in so much pain. All I did was express it to her. During her last time seeing me, she got a friend along. Apparently her family didn't think it was safe for her to go alone. When I had told her I'd be coming to drop off her stuff at the porch, her family travelled somewhere 2 hours away because they were afraid of me. I have never been aggressive around her, or to anyone, ever. I have never threatened or called her names. The last time we met, my last words were "I love you" as I was crying. How could she think I was capable of that? Was it her family brainwashing her about me? Was it something I did or say? I know I never said anything with the intention of scaring her. Yet that's how she took it, instead of seeing that I said it out of pain. Who's fault is it?