This happened almost a decade ago, but I think about it from time to time as it ruined a friendship and I find myself retracing the incident to see if maybe, as I grow older, I get a different perspective on the story.

When I was in high school, I had a major crush on a female friend of mine. For the sake of conversation, we’ll call her Hannah. Hannah was beautiful, funny, brilliant and had a heart of gold. She was truly a beacon of happiness for all of those around her. She would bring in homemade snacks frequently, and would make sure to make everyone feel special on their birthday, popular or otherwise. She was a very nice human being.

When we were freshman, Hannah started dating a junior who we will call Marcus. Marcus was honestly a pretty cool dude, but since he began to date my crush, I didn’t like him very much. As time went on though and I saw how happy they were together, my feelings for Hannah subsided. I dated other girls and came to be best friends with Marcus. Some of my best high school memories were hanging out with him (with or without Hannah).

When Marcus graduated high school, he went to a nearby university to pursue a degree in business. His goal was to finish his degree while maintaining a relationship with Hannah, and it started out very well. As time went on, their relationship began to strain and you could feel Marcus wanting to potentially end it.

Hannah was determined that they were soulmates and that they would be together forever. They lost their virginity to one another and had dated for nearly 4 years.

As the relationship continued to fall apart, everyone around them could see the writing on the wall. Family and friends were already prepping for the “divorce,” where each person gets a subset of the friends and such. The two of them continued to struggle to make it work. Even watching a movie together would usually somehow end up with bickering.

Marcus and I both happened to work at the same dead end job (perfect for a high schooler/college student though). Since the university he was attending was so close to home, he continued to work at the same place while going to school. He already knew the ropes and management knew he had a really good work ethic.

At our job, a new young lady was hired. She was a nice, and obviously had a crush on Marcus. Marcus quickly realized this. He asked me what he should do. I said, “You need to do what you feel is right. If that happens to be dating the new girl, that is fine. You just HAVE TO break up with Hannah first.”

He dreaded breaking her heart, but he decided that it was time to end the relationship. I honestly don’t know how he did it, but I would guess that he did via text message. It goes without saying that you should do something like that face to face, but that was his decision.

Anyways, the next day in school, Hannah says to me, “Marcus said that he wants to break up, but he didn’t mean it.” I was shocked, and assumed that Marcus had talked to her and decided that they would try to make it work.

The next time I worked with Marcus, I asked him how his relationship with Hannah was going. “What relationship...?” “Well dude,” I said, “She says that you two are still going out.” Marcus is clearly upset and says “I told her I wanted to end it, and she said that I was just confused and didn’t know what I was saying. What should I do?” I told him that if he actually told her that they were breaking up, then he is no longer in a relationship with her. The end. With my agreement, regarding whether or not his relationship was actually over, he proceed to spend time with the new girl at work.

A few days later in school, Hannah approaches me in Calculus. She is yelling, in front of the whole class, about how I betrayed her and how I encouraged Marcus to cheat on her.

“Did he tell you that you two were over,” I questioned. “Yes, but he didn’t mean it,” she shouted back. “Then it’s over! He has the right to end a relationship! The same right as you,” I told her. She stomped off and never spoke to me again.

While she was nice and kind to everyone over the four years I knew her in high school, she had become manipulative and mean towards Marcus. Not to say that he was a perfect boyfriend by any means, but she just wasn’t as friendly or nice to him as the years went on. It made me grateful we never dated and almost like I dodged a bullet.

Anyways, I haven’t talked to her since that day in Calculus. I did, in a very “what are the odds” kind of moment, run into Hannah and Marcus in a coffee shop in my hometown last year. None of us live in that town anymore, let alone that state. It was the Christmas season though, so I’d assume we were all back to visit family. Regardless, I walked up to them and said “Well I’ll be damned. Look who it is!” I quickly realized that my presence wasn’t welcomed and I grabbed a table on the other side of the cafe. Even though I clearly saw them, they made sure to slip out the side door, even though they were parked right in front of the main door and I could see their entire “getaway.”

I know this was a long story, but essentially, AITA for saying my friend Marcus was actually broken up with Hannah, assuming what he told me was the truth?