Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Throwaway, for obvious reasons. Very long post.

&amp;#x200B;

In short, a year ago, I escaped a really abusive (physically, sexually, emotionally, you name it) relationship and the healing process was quite long - and since I had to work at trusting people again and through my sexual trauma, I could not let anyone close to me for months. At some point during spring, I meet this guy - say, Alex - who is quite obviously interested in me and keeps on asking me out, but I never say yes. In the meantime, I tried something with another person, it crashed and burned and fucked me up some more, Alex also apparently was dating someone (he even awkwardly said it to my face in a very victorious manner while it was going on), so, okay.

Since my work implies doing business trips abroad a couple of times a year, on one of these trips I really fell in love with someone else, let's call them Peter, but nothing happened even though there were hints it had been mutual, because they live on a different continent and I knew that if I'd never see this person again I'd lose it. I go back home, feel lonely as fuck (variety of reasons) and Alex suddenly pops back into the picture and I cave in and go out with the guy without doing anything other than spending time, as keep on chatting with Peter almost daily over WhatsApp and the hints continue to be there. One of those days, Alex literally asks me if I want to be his girlfriend in a very awkward way - I wasn't feeling it, so I explained to him that I had a bad relationship in the past &amp; that I still have issues I have to solve with myself, from anger issues to trust issues, so I was unprepared. Which is absolutely true, but I omitted to say that I had fallen in love with someone else - because at that point it seemed absolutely impossible and little more than a fantasy for something to happen with Peter. Bottom line, what I obsessively repeated in that conversation and in future ones was the following: that I'd rather not do anything because I was afraid that my actions would end up hurting him.

Alex seemed to accept what I'd had told and we struck a deal to continue seeing each other as friends, although he wasn't fair about his side of the deal, and he continued to put pressure on me to meet up, or he would offer to run minor errands for me which I wouldn't pass up, plus, he's a really nice guy and a good conversation partner, so we kept on seeing each other, but the tension was there. One evening he asked the question again and put pressure - I started crying (in frustration over what I perceived as my inability to be happy and to accept someone's feelings) and apologized for being unable to reciprocate, yet I told him that I would be really fucked up if I spend the night alone, so I invited him to my apartment. We just slept, but a few evenings later the whole thing happened again, and since I felt extremely lonely and vulnerable, I caved in to his insistence and we slept together. In the meantime, Peter had stopped answering my messages for a couple of days, so I was all the more inclined to do this. Alex and I spent the next day and night together having a lot of (well, mediocre) sex, and I was supposed to leave the country again for business. Before departing, Alex and I convened that any serious discussion about what was happening between us would take place after my 2-week trip. Anyway, there were certain things that were strange about him - such as his describing one night stands (and relationships) as a means to "fill the void", wtf.

When I arrived at the city, Peter unexpectedly wrote to me and apologized, saying that he had been on a different trip and that his phone had been stolen. He told me that was also going to attend the event I was at - and, in short, after he arrived we hit it off after we recognized that both had fallen in love with each other before even touching. We had an amazing week together and we decided to stay together because we truly feel that we have a very powerful connection, and that we'll overcome the distance, in time. So, I had to call Alex  (who had sent me very awkward messages throughout the week with boring details about his routine)  once it was clear that I and Peter were an item, so I broke it to him. Alex reacted in a pretty self-entitled way and asking for a lot of explanations, implying that I was lying, or asking me if I was now to move to a different country, etc. I sort of felt that his reaction was like that because I was supposed to "fill the void" after he had done so many "Niceguy TM" things. I began to cry and was only able to tell him that I was sorry, that we hadn't had a conversation and that I'd warned him that there was a chance I'd hurt him, and that it pained me to know that I had done that. 

That was it. Alex and I haven't spoken since. AITA for doing any of these things to Alex, from the omission part to the sleeping with him part? At the same time, I'm blissfully happy with Peter, even considering the difficulties, and I think he really loves me for who I am - not what purpose I could serve to him. And it's 100% reciprocal. Help me out with this, I feel remorseful every day.