Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Buckle up buckaroos... you’re in for a ride. 

**TLDR** at bottom

I(31F) met ex(26F) AJ on a dating app (tinder)... after meeting I realized pretty quickly I wasn’t in any position for a relationship and tried to maintain a friendship. She developed feelings that only blossomed and grew from that point on. 

While admittedly I did too while we were friends I knew that her addiction and my addiction past / future potential for alcoholism would have been a terrible combination. 

(I started a relationship with a woman I never thought I had a chance with while we remained friends... the woman and I didn’t have similar life goals... so that didn’t last.) 

Fast forward 8 months - AJ is sober. And I want her. She seems positive, engaged, driven, passionate... basically all positive attractive attributes that I love! On top of that she is superbly intelligent and we could talk about so many different things. 

We get together. And BOOM - dysfunction. She remained jobless because she just graduated and was working towards “studying for her boards for her career.” ... but she didn’t. She sat at home and smoked weed and didn’t do anything productive. Then she dabbled lightly in the alcohol at first... then naturally the alcoholic in her completely lost control. I know she was depressed. In therapy working through years of abuse I wanted to be supportive. I was the only person she vented to about her abusive parents. 

I drank an insane amount during the time we dated so I was horrible. I was inattentive, I was resentful, I was unhappy, I couldn’t understand how someone could be my best friend and seem like a perfect partner and then to have it fall apart so easily. I understand depression but I wanted her to snap out of it and just be the woman I knew she could be. I felt like due to her depression she was not able to be a productive person. I don’t fault her for that. So to help all of that I drank... and so did she. 

Which obviously was completely toxic and terrible. We only dated 6 months which ended in an explosive break up she moves back near her abusive parents. 

Fast forward a year... she find me on PlayStation while I am gaming. Initially I panic and sign off. I usually don’t keep exes in my life because it’s painful to try to have a friendship especially if things ended badly which they usually have for me. 

Against my better judgment I started talking to her again via PlayStation. Now she is constantly putting me down and emotionally manipulating me trying to rehash things from the past. I absolutely do not want to do that. I would have been fine if it came up after months of playing in an adult way such as “I feel like you mistreated me and didn’t respect me... here’s why. I just want you to know.” Her approach is accusatory and lacks space for actual dialogue. It’s the blame game and I sign right up to play every time. She knows where my buttons are and pushes them all the time. 

Playing video games is fine with me but every boundary I put up she pushes right through and then is shocked when I call her out. I hate this situation. I put too much emotional energy into it already, I’ve tried to be friends but it will not work. Am I the asshole because my mode of operation is to ghost people and cut them out of my life ? 

**TLDR** - Ex found me on PlayStation and wants to rehash the past. Am I the asshole because I just wanted to play GTAV and not fight about who did what wrong in the past? 