Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : BF (24M) and I (25M) have been together a little over three years now and have known each other for around 5. For all of that time I have known that BF has an older brother who is now 32 but until around nine months ago,  I hadn't met the guy. He was estranged from the family because he'd done some really shitty things to them while in the throes of heroin addiction, including stealing a significant sum of money from their grandmother and physically attacking their mother while intoxicated, leaving her needing stitches and with a permanent scar. Shortly after the latter incident, around ten years ago, he moved to the other side of the country with his dealer/girlfriend and cut ties completely. 

Nine months ago he moved back and started trying to rebuild his relationship with his family. Initially I actually encouraged my boyfriend to at least give his brother a chance. I'm an ex heroin addict myself so I know how drugs can make you fuckin insane and I know how important it can be to re establish bonds with people you love while in recovery. I'll note I never did anything quite as screwed up as he did while I was in the thick of it, but I figured every case is different and recovery has taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. 

Turns out that I was wrong in this case. Although he insists that he's completely clean from all substances (I'm doubtful but have no proof), the brother is still, in my opinion, a complete piece of shit. He has some prior convictions - including the assault on his mother - that make it hard for him to find steady work but he refuses to claim JSA because he thinks it's beneath him. As a result he's constantly pestering my boyfriend for money and will through a tantrum if he's told no. BF works for minimum wage in a restaurant and is currently on part time hours as he's recovering from a sports injury. He hasn't got heaps of money to spare. However, if he doesn't give his brother money when he asks for it, brother goes on tirades, telling him he's selfish and an asshole and asking why he doesn't care about his own flesh and blood etc. He's the same way about getting rides places too, even though bf has been instructed to limit his driving as much as possible until his injured foot is fully healed. 

Brother has also once again destroyed his relationship with their parents and their sisters by being a generally manipulative manchild. I've reached a place where I think brother has worn out the second chance he was given, and I believe my boyfriend should cut ties with him again. BF is an immensely sweet guy and he hates to see anyone hurt, even if it means he gets hurt himself, and is having a difficult time letting his brother go. Brother himself caught wind of the fact that I want him out of BFs life and sent me some really pretty nasty messages about it, mostly insulting my appearance, throwing homophobic slurs and implying that as I'm also a former addict and have mental health issues which cause occasional bouts of intense paranoia and trust issues, that I'm the same as him. I'd like to think he's wrong because I'm dealing with my illnesses using medication and therapy, but he maybe does have a point. I'll also point out that he effectively ruined my boyfriend's Christmas with one of his tantrums and in the message he asked why I even care about Christmas since I'm a "fucking kike". My boyfriend confronted him about the messages and he apologised for all but the last thing, so that's the kind of dude we're dealing with. He's really starting to cause tension in our relationship and I want him gone but bf keeps insisting that he can't turn his back on family and that he wants to give his brother a chance to better himself. Am I the asshole for thinking he doesn't deserve it? 