This morning I woke up my husband, as I do every Wednesday. It is the only day of my work week that he is home and I get a chance to get ready without having to juggle our 9 month old. I placed the baby on the bed, and no exaggeration, he gets up and says he has to "pee", walks to the bathroom and closes the door. Is it even possible to muster up a turd approximately 3 seconds after waking up? The crazy thing is, this is so predictably routine. Mind you, most of my getting ready habits have died, I no longer have time to blow dry or fix my hair, and I never put on makeup. I never have enough time. He doesn't seem to care that this affects me. He just begrudgingly carries on with his day of taking care of the baby in between dumps. 

&amp;#x200B;

I am willing to bet that he spends upwards of 4-5 hours per week on the toilet. In the course of the hour before I leave for work, he will absolutely go to the bathroom AGAIN. As we all know, men are not skilled in the area of efficient poop timing strategy and it takes them a bit longer. I get that. I also get that men do other things in the bathroom, and I am cool with it. But this is my only day to have an easy morning. Every other day, he leaves the house before we even get up. Part of me thinks its some kind of OCD tendency that he needs to poop without the baby around. And he won't have a chance all day unless he does it while I am home. I don't fucking care anymore. Grow up and poop like the rest of us. 

&amp;#x200B;

I expressed my agitation and explained to him that if I wasn't home, he would have to figure it out. If it were me leavinng the house every morning, he would have to find a way to poop whilst taking care of the baby. It doesn't seem very cool to me that he has no problem whatsoever doing this every single morning he is home. I yelled that he needed to "make it quick" and he still was on there for 10 minutes. After I finally got to take a shower, he was hostile, cold, and argumentative for the rest of the morning. I went to put on a baby show and he shout from the kitchen "I WAS WATCHING THAT." Really dude? You were watching Hota's closet makeover on the Today Show? GTFOH.

&amp;#x200B;

I don't think I am wrong here, but he has been treating me like I am an asshole ever since. Short, cold, and insincere text responses. Wouldn't return my "I love you" before I left this morning. What the hell gives? Am I the asshole??

&amp;#x200B;