Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I don't mean that I don't want to marry him anymore, but that I don't want to marry someone with unchecked alcoholic dependence. I am absolutely in love with him. We have been together for 8 years, since during high school. He only started drinking when he was 21, and it has since escalated (4 years later). He drinks at least 3 beers a night, every night. He will go out the bar with his friends or our roommates and come home absolutely plastered, and on a few occasions has fist-fought them. He thinks he is being *just* in the moment (because he's very drunk) but he is not. He is being aggressive and violent and a bully. He is not a happy drunk. He is angry and insecure. Previous to this, he would sometimes yell at me or start a fight and I could not reason with him (because he is very drunk). Once he lost it because I was was in bed (work at 5am the next day) and I didnt want to stay up for him (sex), after a huge argument and a lot of punching stuff and keeping me up until 4am, he tried to hang himself. Because I wouldn't have sex with him he he got home from the bar.

He wouldn't be like this if he didnt drink. He wasn't like this before he started drinking. It's like walking on eggshells when I know that he has drank. 

And now he is fighting our roommates and being a real dick honestly. They have always made up afterwards, but it's me who has to go break it up, because it's two in the morning and they are screaming and brawling in the front yard and he is on probation from the DUI he got last year. I don't want the cops called, I don't want to drive him to the ER.

It's clear to me that he has a problem. Doing this stuff isn't normal. But he's very touchy about me talking to him about it. I told him that we needed to talk and he really emphasized that he gets that what he's doing wrong, and he doesn't want/need to hear it from me, after all "it's not like I'm fighting *you*".
When he talked I told him that if we are going to get married, I don't want this in my life.


I feel like this is a problem that gets worse, not better, if left unaddressed. He said he'd lay off the hard alcohol. But he hasn't. No fights since our talk, but it's really fucked me up. I don't want to abandon him or his mental health, but there is only so much I can do, and it's hurting me in the proccess. AITA for wanting him to stop completely? AITA for leaving if he doesn't? 