Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I’ll make it short as I can. Been with P for 10 years and I’ve had problems with FIL ever since.

1) Got engaged 3 years ago. FIL decides it’s the right time to take P out and ask him if he’s making the right choice marrying me EVEN THOUGH HE THOUGHT P WOULD PROPOSE EARLIER. Why would he ask AFTER we were engaged and not in the months leading up to it when he thought it was imminent 

2) FIL decided to tell me that he didn’t like Indian food. Ok great my friend. Not a problem. I’m mixed race (Pakistani &amp; White), your White but the fact you don’t like Indian food *literally* does not bother me in any way. Everyone has preferences. BUT, to then go on and tell me it’s because you think Indian people (IM NOT EVEN INDIAN) because they are disgusting unhygienic people and Indian food is tainted by their “dirtyness” INFURIATES me. He then says, I can say that because your not Indian.(wtaf)

3) We were all going to go on a family holiday with P’s family. We all submitted dates that we would/wouldn’t be available. FIL decided to pick a date that only I’m not available. P tells him I’m not available. He says it won’t make a difference if I’m there or not

4) He deletes me on Facebook. Literally went to the effort to click on my profile and unfriend me, when I’m not even a part of his physical life. 

5) Baby comes along. Asked him to not smoke if he wanted to hold the baby when we met. Blew his top off about smoking being an unproven risk and all the presents he brought the baby were now contaminated so wash them. 

7) I don’t know if this is a “new mother thing”, but FIL never asks about new baby. The rest of his family annoy me with how much they spam me asking about the baby. His dad has never asked once about him. 

6) Not really an issue but pissed me off. Announced to him the baby was born. He said oh is his last name Patel, he’s taking his mums name? I JUST DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE POINT OF THAT WAS. 


Anyway, we have a family event and I’ve done my best to avoid him the last couple of years. I just can’t be bothered with it. He makes me feel uncomfortable and brings no value to me life. NBD. P goes sees him now and them end of. However, baby is now here. P wants baby to have relationship with FIL. Baby is breastfeeding, so has to be with me for a few more months. I don’t want to go to family event because I think his dad is an ignorant idiot. Also, he literally doesn’t even ask about the baby so it won’t make a difference if he’s there or not. Argument ensues. I don’t want to force baby to have relationship with FIL. I don’t want to see him. 

AITA? Do I just suck it up and go? Do I stand my ground and not see him, meaning baby doesn’t see his granddad? 

pls help internet strangers!