I know this isn’t a relationship sub, but I really need to know who is in the wrong here. 


Title sounds bad, but here’s some backstory. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship since freshman year of high school, and we are now both living together as adults in college. 


Throughout high school, he cheated on me several times. Once with my best friend, once with a close family friend’s daughter, and several more times... that I know of. Each time, I found out months after the cheating had occurred so I obviously developed serious trust issues from being lied to so much. I stayed with him because I was young and dumb, the same way he cheated because he was young and dumb. We have both matured immensely since we’ve graduated and are not the same people we were as teenagers—like most people. 


He’s grown into a great guy. He works really hard, is completely open and transparent with me, and I really have no doubts about him being loyal. Despite this, being effed over by him so many times in high school has left me a lot of trauma to deal with. Yes, I see a therapist. 


Here’s an example of my trust issues in action: a few months ago, he wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house. Several male friends would be there, along with two girls that my boyfriend and I have previously hung out with /together/. I explained to him that I wasn’t comfortable with him spending the night (and drinking/getting high) at a house where two attractive women would also be spending the night at. He told me that I was being ridiculous and that my trust issues were baseless since all of his unfaithfulness happened back in high school and there would be other people there.


Obviously I couldn’t stop him, and I couldn’t tell him he couldn’t go, so he went anyways and everything turned out fine and he didn’t try anything at the party (not that I really expected him to). I was still really upset that he went and completely brushed off my concerns.


Stuff like this happens from time to time and while I never actually think he’s going to cheat on me, I also feel like he isn’t being empathetic enough. Every time I bring up being uncomfortable about a situation, he gets mad at me for “bringing up sh*t from the past” rather than taking responsibility for the trust issues he created for the first 4 years of our relationship. 


So AITA for being unable (unwilling, maybe? Not entirely sure) to simply get over what he put me through while we were in high school? Is there any way you guys think we can compromise?