I have a really bad anxiety disorder and I tend to have a horrible memory. 

But I don’t know how to say no to people..I have a lot of close friends, which I am very thankful for, but sometimes “being popular” and having mental disorders don’t mesh well

I say yes to hanging with a friend let’s say next week on Tuesday at like 4 pm. I am looking forward to said event but then I forget about it that same day. Tuesday rolls around and I have plans with 3 people at 4 pm I just remembered all at once now I gotta come up with excuses to not hang with people, try to make it a group event which could be awkward or just tell people I planned over and we need to reschedule. Which again isn’t easy because my anxiety makes me over think it. And I don’t want to have to choose between friends and pick favorites 

I can’t seem to remember shit like this until the day it happens then I’m always known as the guy who flakes or cancels on all his friends last minute 

I end up lying to everyone I care about because I’m scared they’re gonna be mad at me, then they just get mad at me for lying

I’ve got people mad at me frequently for “not caring about them enough to be honest” but I don’t like lying I just get caught up in the moment and my anxiety almost takes over me. I tried explaining this to one of my best friends and he insists that I do it purposefully and he can’t trust me anymore. Am I really the asshole here ?? 