Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I come from a very typical Asian family. I have been going to college far away for the past few years and I chose to go far away to get away from my family’s toxic behavior. 

When I was very little, one of my sisters passed away and my family took it very hard. We never went to therapy for it, so I’m assuming that there’s still unresolved trauma there. There was now me, the youngest, and my sister who is 7 years older than me.  But I didn’t necessarily have a bad childhood. My parents gave me what I needed, even if they made me feel bad about it. “I waste so much money on you, yet you’re so ungrateful” or “I only use money on you, why do you need so much stuff, I don’t buy anything for myself anymore”. My mom even went so far to say that her friends are so much happier without kids and they have more money to spend. I actually didn’t realize how abusive these words were until just recently. 

When my sister graduated college, I was in my sophomore year. While we were at the commencement, we found out that we only had two tickets for me, my mom, and my dad. We called my sister about it and she said that she’d talk to someone about taking her name off the list or something so we wouldn’t have to wait. Well eventually we got in because a very generous person gave us one of his tickets and so we went in and she didn’t get called. So this led to my parents believing that she didn’t graduate, even though a few months later, she received her degree in the mail. They still don’t believe her to this day. 

My sister got heavily involved in drugs after she graduated and moved back home. Cigarettes and heroin every single day. My mom wanted to send her to rehab but she refused and claimed that she wasn’t on anything. This led to fighting everyday. Through the stress of my junior and senior years of high school, I couldn’t take it and only applied to schools over a few hundred miles away, even though my parents wanted me to stay close. 

After I moved out, I gradually stopped the constant contact with my family. We now only call about 1-2 times per week. 

My mom is very stubborn and manipulative, yet sensitive. If you even raise your voice at her, she’ll cry and claim that she’s going to die because of you. If something doesn’t go her way, she’ll just stop talking to you. She believes money is everything and will yell at you for spending your own money. 
My sister has anger issues. Yells at everyone and everything, even my parents. Thinks she knows everything. Can be very condescending. I still don’t even know if she’s completely drug free or not. 
The only person I can really rely on is my dad. I miss him everyday. He is my definite number one and sometimes the only reason I want to come home. 

I definitely have plans of staying where I am after I graduate college, but my family will not understand. I am grateful for everything they have done for me, but I just can’t stand having to be in the same room as all of them for even just a day. After all I’ve gone through, am I really the asshole for wanting to stay away?

TLDR; I think being around my family is toxic for my mental and emotional wellbeing so I moved away for college and I plan on staying away after I graduate. Am I the asshole?