Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : My husband and I both came into our relationship with children. My child lives with us full time and I receive child support. My two step-kids live with their mother (one is in college now though) and my husband pays child support. We're all very geographically distant but everyone is involved to the extent they can be. All of us are lower middle class, with similar incomes and cost of living.

I started a saving account for my son just after I split with my son’s father, roughly 10 years ago. I budget the child support separately and any remaining CS money goes into my son’s savings account. When I told my ex I was doing this, he voluntarily started sending a bit more child support to up what would go into savings. I put 50% of all my son's holiday money in there and his dad occasionally tosses a bit more money at it too. The plan is to gift this money to our child upon some as of yet undetermined adult life event. I project this account will be somewhere between $20-$25K by the time my son graduates high school.

My husband has gifted two years of college tuition and all major living expenses for that time to each of his two children, paid through a work related benefit. He doesn’t have any additional savings set up for them though and I don't know if their mother does either. It's highly likely that she doesn't as saving has never been one of her strengths.

So, I was complaining about a banking error in my son’s savings account when my friend made a comment about how unfair it was that my son would eventually be given this large sum of money while my step-kids will not. I was more than a little taken aback. I explained that the savings account for my son had never used joint household money for funding and came directly from the child support I received from his father; It had nothing to do with my husband or my step-kids. She was still quite angry and insisted it was wrong not to be strictly equitable no matter where the money came from.

Now I’m not sure what to think. I’ve always viewed it more like I was saving my son’s own money for him.  The child support was never “mine” or my husband's. My step-kids' mother was equally as capable of doing something similar with the child support she received, especially given that she has always received significantly more in child support than I did. On the other hand, it certainly isn't my stepchildren's fault if their mother didn't do this. It is very likely that they would see this as being unfair and mean too. I'm not willing to short my son and I'm also not interested in being viewed as the stereotypical Wicked Stepmother, but I can't make 40K appear out of thin air in the next several years.

So, WIBTA if I continue with my plans to save and gift my son with this large sum of money without doing the same for my step-kids?