So, like the title says, I am a dialysis patient. For the last 1.5 years I've been doing dialysis to keep myself alive. As a young man of 19 years of age, having my cousin offer to be a doner was huge for me however things haven't quite worked out that well.

For context, my cousin is is a few years older than me, she's long since been the 'golden child' due to her being the oldest and only girl of 4 grandchildren.  At family meals her and her mother would hog the attention of my nan and grandad much to my dad's annoyance leading to a few small spats here and there but an otherwise happy family unit.

The problems arose with her several months into her vetting process to get her ready to be a doner. On this specific day she had text me roughly 9AM asking for some contact details for a nurse at the hospital. Admittedly, I checked the message, clearly showing her I had read it but did not answer right away. I had some dialysis supplies being delivered and they would take a significant amount of time to organise.

As fate would have it, that day I had been accidentally booked in for an appointment at a specialist hospital a roughly 1.5 hour drive away. The hospital transport arrived and I had no choice but to go with them and have this appointment. I had no mobile data on my phone and could not contact my cousin whilst I was on my way to the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital and waited in the transport vehicle whilst the driver went to figure out the specifics of the appointment. The hospital I was at had a free wifi connection and so I connected to it to inform my immediate family of where I was as I had been home alone at the time. Almost immediately I saw that I had a message from my cousin and it was honestly one of the most repulsive messages I had ever read. It oozed sarcasm, was overtly condescending and proceeded to remind me of how much she had done for me whilst still having the gall to end with "I love you (OP name) but I don't love what you're doing right now".

All from leaving her on read for under 2 hours.

At the time, I saw huge flashing danger signs in my head. This woman was supposed to be giving me a kidney, how could I trust that she wouldn't hold that over me for the next 20 or so years a kidney transplant can last? I left that comment on read too whilst I formulated a response. Me, my girlfriend and my dad all chipped in that evening to write an admittedly condescending message that boiled down to "Stop being childish and I can't have you donate a kidney to me in good faith".

Since then, she hasn't said a word to me or my family. Her family as well as my nan and grandad blocked all of my family and other than some less than friendly emails between my Dad and Nan there has been almost no contact. Neither side has shown  interest in trying to resolve the issue, this was well over 8 months ago.

So, AITA Reddit? I won't lie, I feel an immense amount of guilt. Whilst he won't admit it, I fear that my dad misses his mum and dad. They were a big part of his life and I can't help but feel responsible. I could also be living a somewhat normal life by now if I had just taken the message on the chin and not valued my pride so much. The stress I've put on my family with my declining health could have all been avoided. Apologies for the long post but this has been good to get off my chest. Thanks for reading 

Tl;dr: Potential kidney doner gets annoyed after being left on read. She is removed by me from my potential doner list for being immature and this causes a rift in the family.

P.S: That appointment? The one I spend nearly 3 hours both ways in a hot transport vehicle to go to? It never existed. It was supposed to be the week after but the transport company messed up. 😑😑😑




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