Some background I’m 17. My mother had me when she was like 20, and since I was a child I’ve always been told not to get a girl pregnant, always use protection etc. I understand because my mom has to learn a lot on her own with me growing up. I also smoke weed sometimes, I have a 4.0 in school so it doesn’t affect my grades or anything. My mom previously smoked but now just drinks. I’ve been busted for being high before, our agreement is that when I turn 18 I can smoke weed.

This incident happened two days ago, but basically I got home around 8pm and I had just smoked earlier. I came outside to go get ready for bed when my mom said “Aw, nobody respects my counter sign. It’s a sign that’s propped up on the counter and it was fallen over with the rest of the knick knacks. 

I even though I was high, decided to go fix up the sign because I felt bad no one respected it. So I fixed it all up and she saw and said “thanks!” Then she noticed I was high, convo went like this:

Mum: Are you smoking cigarettes?

OP: No I’m not.

Mum: You’re either doing that or bud.

OP: No I’m not mom.

Mum: You’re lying to my face. 

We stopped talking after and I showered cause she told me to.

While I was showering she searched my room upside down and found some condoms which she was very upset about because she didn’t know I was sexually active. She laid the condoms out on my bed and hasn’t said a word since.

I know lying is bad, but me mum always has a  habit of telling me these “relatable” stories like oh I’ve done acid when I was your age or molly at this club, smoked cigarettes all the time. At parties they go off the chain, getting alcohol sickness all day. I think me doing this occasionally isn’t bad, I’m not doing it in the house just outside. The sex I think I’m justified she’s always been telling me to wrap my willy and I have with a girl who she really likes. They also have a job relationship where my gf delivers errands for my mother for cash.

My mom also refuses to speak with me, she hasn’t since she just says whatever, even when I was asking for payment for college applications she didn’t care and I needed to get a friend to loan me his card because I don’t have one. I also don’t know if my girlfriend/mother work relationship still stands. 

Please help, am I the asshole here?

