Throwaway so I don't get psychotic prolifers harrassing me through this already horrible time. Me and my husband are pregnant with our first child. We just found out at our midpregnancy scan that our baby has Patau's syndrome. Apparently, he didn't show many of the early warning signs that most babies do, so it went unnoticed. The baby is currently okay, but we were told that his likelihood of surviving up to and after birth are dim to say in the least. Obviously, we're both heart broken. And it hurts me that I may never be able to meet my baby. But I don't want to meet him if it just means he's going to die anyway! This is hard enough, I would rather just end the pregnancy and try again once we're up to it. I feel like a failure, and I just want to get past this and have it be over so we can try again at our family. But my husband wants to meet him. He thinks it would bring us more "closure" when he dies. I think its just going to open me up to more pain. Pregnancy is hard enough without the life at the end of the tunnel. I understand my husband is having just as hard of a time as me right now, and it might bring him closure to say his goodbyes to the little guy. And maybe I am being insensitive or selfish? I just dont want to have to grieve a second time over him...am I being selfish? The longer we wait the harder it gets and I just want to tell him too bad, and end the pregnancy, but I dont want to hurt him or our marriage and he just wont listen...