Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : My friend John Doe [30] decides to become Jane Doe. He wants it to be a legit ID reveal party to see support in his decision. 

He thinks the whole thing should work like a bachelor party where we take him out, and had requested Vegas. I told him today that I feel like this scenario describes any other time we go out: step one, John Doe gets too drunk. Step two: John flirts with straight or gay men at a highly annoying and pushy level. Step three: John is rejected and begins to make a scene to the victim or later to us while he (usually) cries. On top of that, he wants us to pay the tab and shared that he’s always wanted to stay at Caesar’s Palace, and while it’s not entirely out of a spontaneous budget, it certainly doesn’t sound fun in the least since I don’t gamble or visit strip clubs like him, only one of our group does that stuff with John. That’s what I had for an excuse, and his brother ends up coming over to my house today to let me know I’m an asshole. 

A brief background: John has had this bar meltdown multiple times, specifically after he told us he liked men. The history between us shouldn’t be a mystery here. I have only recently begun to accept homosexuality after seeing a rational friend come out to our circle. Gender identity is something I’m not bending a knee for, it is absurd from my perspective. I feel like John has always needed to have attention, but the more he falls into this sexuality and gender identity crisis, the more he needs to be heard. Regardless of the circumstances at the bar, we have invited him to be around us and continue having him around, almost always ending with a quiet group listening to John because we can’t get a single word in. He’s just annoying.

Complications, my friends have decided that we should go because it will be supportive and we’ll get to see him fail miserably in Vegas. Regardless of how I feel about his decisions, he used to be a good dude that I could actually have a conversation with. Now it is just like Russian roulette, this guy has to project his emotions loudly at anyone who will listen. 

I’m feeling like the asshole because I could have just said no without reason. If I had done that I know John would have picked and probed for a reason until he begins making assumptions that are wildly more exaggerated than the true reason I don’t want to be around him. 

I’m also feeling like he needed at least one person to tell him the truth. We don’t have emotional mirrors and as a guy I appreciate it when someone can describe reality without being comforting, hard truth sticks like glue and makes most guys reevaluate their position. 

TLDR: entitled friend wants luxury outing with the group paying the bills, surrounding his decision to identify as a woman. I may have stepped over the line telling him why I don’t want to go.