Note: the post is a bit rambly so thx to anyone who read it. There’s also a TLDR at the bottom, but if you can you might want to read the whole post to get more context.

I (M14) have a close friend, we’ll call him A, who I’ve known for about 2 years. This friend knows how to play drum set and I can play bass, so we got another friend, B, to do guitars and a third, C, to do vocals and we started a band. Everything was going really smoothly until about a month ago. At that time I broke up with my ex girlfriend. However, I already liked someone else and two weeks later me and my current gf, who we’ll call D, got together. My ex wasn’t a big fan and called D a slut in my DMs. I got pissed and talked to A about it, and he said he agreed with my ex that D was a slut. For context, A had dated D a few months prior but they broke up only two months later. I initially got pissed but after a very long talk, me and A agreed not to bring it up again and everything seemed to be going ok... until it wasn’t. A has a very bad temper and would throw fits almost every week. The cause ranged from anything to ideas for album covers to calling our guitarist, B, a slacker. I would usually just tolerate these and let them go and that would be that. However, about a week ago, with no provocation, A called D a slut again in front of the entire group chat. Additionally, he accused D of flirting with him, which D denied. He had no evidence that D ever actually did and D has been really sweet in our relationship, so I said “why should I just believe that without proof?”. He then went on a tirade about how I didn’t trust him and that D was a hoe and that I was stupid and hypocrite. I got rather pissed off and called him a “mother fucker” for leveling that false accusation against her and having a tantrum every fucking week. After a while we both sat down and I offered to just move past this if he apologizes. However, he said that he was in the right for speaking his mind I should apologize. In the end we both apologized. However, C sent me a screenshot where A admits he wasn’t being sincere so I left the band after giving him another chance to apologize. After that C decided to join me and B is currently on the fence about it. I also told D and she’s pissed at A and wants to confront him about it. In short, I may well have ended up breaking up the band and causing a fight, so idk if I was really right here. So maybe y’all can help me decide? Thx.


TLDR: a friend who’s in a band with me (M14) throws tantrums rather often called my gf a slut and falsely accused her of flirting with someone else so I called him a mother fucker. This has put the band in jeopardy and my gf is super pissed at my friend and wants to confront him.