TLDR at the bottom.

&amp;#x200B;

This did happen a few years ago but to this day it still haunts me. I met a girl at work (lets call her T), and she was perfect. We went out a few times and everything was good. Unfortunately T had to move away for school, not super far but far enough that we couldn't hang out to much. 

Now T and her sister (we can call the sister K) both worked with me. I was not the biggest fan of K but she was the sister of T, and i was determined to be in good graces with her, as Those two were very close.  So, maybe a week after T went back to school, I was working a shift with K and another friend (we can call him Q) the first half of the shift was fine, people pouring in and we barely had time to talk. Things took a turn when we all went on break together. I was craving a burrito and there was a Starbucks near by where I was going, so I offered K a ride since she was going there. We get back and Q is sitting there in the break room. 

We sit down and Q looks at me and asks if I want to see this YouTube video of "The Ultimate Vape". I'm bored and have nothing better to do so I agree. We get to the point where its time to choose the flavor for the vape, and its churro flavor. This is what sets off the argument, because the man in the video didn't roll the R in churro (this is important to K because her and T are both half Black half Mexican women).  this is the conversation that followed.

Q: Some people just can't roll their R's.

K: That's why i hate White people,

Q: ... that's kind of racist...

That's all i can fully remember was said but the events that followed were K saying you can't be racist towards White people and that's what THEIR argument was about. I considered both K and Q to be my friends but they were not necessarily friends with each other. So I sit aside let them have at it because if I choose a side I'm definitely loosing one of them as a friend.

At some point K turns to me, and she says,

K: hey LexeL... I forgot my phone in my car, can you use yours to look up the definition of Racism?

Me: I'm sorry K but this is between you two and id rather not get in the middle.

And then she goes back to Q. i should mention that arguing over the Dictionary definition of racism had gone on for 3 minutes prior to this conversation. and Q had correctly said, Word for Word, what the definition of Racism was but K would not accept it.

We can skip to the end of break. I'm getting ready to go downstairs and K stops me.

K: Have you talked to T lately?

Me: Well I messaged her on Friday, but I know shes busy so I don't expect to talk to her until we Skype tomorrow. Why?

K: Oh... well i just would expect to hear from her at all.

This interaction led me to believe that K had talked to T way before her argument with Q, and that she knew something I didn't, I spent the rest of my shift, nerves on end hoping I'd get to the bottom of this. 

K got off work before I did, terrible start to the rest of my night TBH. So as soon as I get off work this is the following conversation that I know by heart.

Text messages -

T: what are you playing at??

Me: Listen, idk what you've heard, who you've talked to, or what you're thinking, but I think we should talk.

T: I agree.

Me: Are you able to Skype tonight?

T: We should just call on the phone...

Me: okay.

I have quite the drive home and I call her as soon as its over, we have a long talk about the situation that happened and she says that my story lines up with K's story. But... sadly I was in the wrong. Because I took no side in the situation, I actually took Q's side. "a bystander is just taking the oppressors side without vocalizing it" T said that she didn't think we should continue talking. We said goodbye for the last time and I never really got over it. so Am i the Asshole for not choosing her sisters side when her sister was wrong?

TLDR; The sister of the girl I was seeing and another friend got into an argument about the definition of racism during break and i didn't choose a side, thus making me the bad guy in the eyes of the girl i was seeing.

I wanna thank anyone for reading, even the TLDR, and I appreciate any comments. I'm just looking to learn from a past experience.

Thanks again!