Her parents rent a big enough space at a beach that they, their Moms, and my family (Wife, toddlers, and myself) each have a place to sleep if my wife and I share a bed. It's extremely generous of them to do this, they let us stay there for free and we're free to do whatever we want from there, but 90% of the time all of us stay together. It's essentially a half paid for vacation yearly.


The problem for me is two fold. The first thing is that my side of the family lives far away, and I have to use vacation time to see them. Family is extremely important to my side of the family, so this is a huge problem for me when I don't get time with them. We live close to her family, and it uses half of my vacation allocation yearly which severely limits the time I get to see my own family. Regardless, we've done this twice, once each for the last two years, and I find myself missing my family often and it's getting to where it's really effecting me.



The second issue is that last year my wife and I had a huge fight while we were there, and she tried to use her family against me while I was there. It didn't work, because thankfully they were all reasonable and told her what she was doing was wrong, but it was a HUGE embarrassment to me. She apologized profusely but this is a reoccurring issue with her that she knows I get sick missing my family, she knows how I feel isolated, and then she tries to involve them and have them gang up on me. It used to work but lately they've stopped listening to her. She has promised me it won't happen again and we've been great since then. Regardless, it has completely ruined the idea of being there for me. 



When I think about going this year there is zero joy in the thought. I would honestly rather stay home alone then go. I dread the thought of having to go again. AITA for rather wanting to spend that time at to visit my own family and let her go with the kids with her family? 


She's a stay at home mom so she doesn't have to use any vacation time.