Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Let me start by saying that I'm 17 (aka I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what I'm going to do honestly), and where I come from, "close family ties" is basically branded onto our culture, and any deviation from it will probably get you disowned. And I always felt really guilty for not being as close to my immediate and extended family more than other people. The first few years of my childhood, my parents weren't around very much because they had to work and let my grandparents and great-grandmother babysit me (until my mom quit her job to be a full-time mom at the age of 4). 

My dad is a very short-tempered man, and to be fair, he had a shitty hand dealt to him early in life, but still, he hit me with a belt. He hit me at the slightest misbehavior (like staying out a little too late or eating candy when I shouldn't have) whenever he was home, and he wasn't very shy about insults either--I got pretty high grades (in elementary) and was always on the top of my class, but he always made scathing remarks about grades that went slightly down; the words "lazy" and "a burden" were used often, and my mom never really stopped him. Nor did he ever once apologized for it.

As a 4 to 9-year-old kid, I didn't really know any better and thought that it was normal, and I spent a lot of time feeling guilty of the boiling resentment I had for him.

I endured that kind of treatment for a couple more years and then went on to high school (or 7th grade, it's already considered high school here)--and I got my first failing grade--in Mathematics. 

I tried to explain to him that I was in a bit of a culture shock from having classes in elementary that were from 7-1 PM, to a whopping 7 AM-6PM, a much more intense workload and a commute to and from home that took two hours, versus the 15 minute walk home from elementary--it's a prestigious school where I'm from, and possibly a prison (and I'm still here for my senior high school or 11th and 12th Grade). 

And they got angry. Really angry. So much so that after I told them that I failed, my father threw all of the shit I use for school and raked through them one by one. I got screamed for doodles on the back of my notebooks even though my notes for most subjects were complete, or scraps of paper in my bag. He called me a failure, a burden, a pig--every name in the book, and my mother did nothing to stop him. 

He slapped me on the face twice and even threw some of my notebooks in the garbage (I had to pick them out of our trash can when he wasn't around). That sent my self-esteem spiraling down for the next 4 years.

Yet in his good moods or whenever we're around other relatives, he'd always say that I was going to be the one who'd build him a house and buy him a car once I get a job. And it takes every bone in my body to stop myself from telling him "Oh fuck no,". And every time I express that to someone close to me, they would say "But they're your parents," and that's that to them.

They had their redeeming qualities, they didn't mistreat me by starvig me or neglecting me, we were pretty well-off and like I said my dad has had a pretty rough past himself, and I love them, but I've always had a burning resentment for both of them. And I snapped and told them exactly that recently--needless to say, they were pissed and called me all the names I've heard before, plus a new one--"ingrate". And all the people I told about this incident have told me that was the biggest asshole thing to say to the people who raised me, except a few friends and my boyfriend.

Sorry for the long post, but I ask this because I've been very conflicted about this for a longest time, and in a culture of "family always comes first" where I grew up in, I always felt massively guilty for not wanting anything to do with my parents after I get a stable job. Am I the asshole?