Backstory, my girlfriend has been talking to this guy let’s call him Rick. Now I’m totally cool with having friendships with the opposite sex, but I started seeing some red flags. The first was when I noticed my girlfriend would enter the room I’m in and casually yet kinda frantically be searching for her phone. She would start a conversation but wouldn’t really listen to what I said, just empty dialogue as she walked around the room, when she finally found it she would try to wrap up the conversation or say she has to do something.

Another thing is she would get fancied up to go out with her girlfriends. Which is unusual since she is pretty simple, but she’s been wearing fancy dresses, heels, taking an hour and a half on makeup. I always would comment “wow you look really good, what’s with the get up?” She would answer something along the lines of “It’s just a fun thing I like to do now.”

Some smaller things are she tilts her phone kinda away when we sit by each other, that kind of bugs me because I never look in her phone or be nosey in general but that seems suspicious in my book.

Honestly I wish I found out in a better way, during one of the times she was about to leave to hang out with her girlfriends, I needed some Advil because I had a slight headache she said it was in her purse. Upon reaching in I felt a box, I picked it up and saw that it was a box of condoms. Immediately I started realizing what was going on. 

The box was magnum, now I’m gonna shit on myself more by saying yes I can’t fit a magnum so that’s how I knew it wasn’t for me. My heart shattered into two right then and there, I grabbed the box and walked into the bathroom.

She turned and froze for about 10 seconds, like actually froze. I felt embarrassed, humiliated, and incredibly angry. She immediately broke down crying, explaining that “she didn’t cheat, she was getting raped,” I was absolutely flabbergasted and asked if she thought I was fucking stupid. 

I kept demanding an explanation but didn’t get one, but in my mind what the fuck? How are you getting raped by someone if you’re getting all dolled up, have the condoms in her possession and still say it’s non consensual. Her only explanation was that “it could be a side effect like those people who are abused and can’t leave.” I kicked her out of my house with her stuff and told her to not speak to me anymore. 

She was bawling saying that I didn’t care for her especially since she revealed something SO “DAMAGING” to her. I have no idea what to think anymore; on one hand I wanna hear the explanation, but in the other if I dig I feel like it’ll just be more lies and a waste of time.

Additionally, no she hasn’t done anything like this in the past, this was completely out of character as far as I know.

Am I the asshole?