I work in a very cutthroat industry and people routinely use whatever gifts the have to get ahead: charm, sex appeal/flirting, knowledge, etc.  Backstabbing happens often enough that it's expected even if it's not condoned.  Now, I'd rather a meritocracy but that's not where I find myself.  What I lack in charm, I make up for in a very high degree of competence (always exceeding my revenue targets), physical presence/physique/height, and a certain "je ne sais quoi" that most veterans have.

I've recently been told that I'm too intimidating by a colleague (who happens to constantly flirt with the male partners).  I know I'm more aggressive in tone at work than I am normally - but until I develop the charm that some of the folks have who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth - I feel like I have to use the tools I have. 

Side note - is there some sort class on charm and suave that rich kids get in expensive universities that state school kids miss out on?