Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Sorry for the long post.

I met my ex in a vidoe class in university and we were project partners for the entire class. We hit it off and we liked a lot of the same things. When he asked me out, I said yes because I had a crush on him then. We dated throughout the summer even though we were about 4 hours apart (He went home for the summer). At the end of summer, he asked me to be his girlfriend which again was an yes from me. 

But at some point, the relationship started to fade on my side. It was my first real relationship so I was mostly confused and I thought it would pass. It didn't and I started to close off more and more. 

I still stayed with him, trying desperately to see if I could maybe fall in love with him. Eventually I realised that the warm summer crush feeling I had was gone and it wasn't going to come back. I was scared to break up with him because I didn't want to lose our friendship, hanging out with him was still fun but any intimacy he tried didn't do anything for me.

I realised that I had to break up with him but didn't have the courage to do it until a few days before Christmas. We agreed to meet up to play some tabletop games (an interest he got me into) and I made up my mind then that I would break up after the game. We met up and he kept telling me about the plans he had for Christmas. It was getting painful and I just decided to pull off the bandage. I got him away from his friends and broke up with him.

He wasn't surprised because he said he could tell when a girl was having second thoughts. I felt so guilty and apologized for putting him through this. Then he asked me, "Why didn't you take the out when I gave it to you?" That made me a little upset because at that point I still had feelings for him and I was trying to push forward with my slow pace in the relationship. I didn't say anything about it though and just apologized again for hurting him like this.

At the end of the day, he asked me more uncomfortable questions about our relationship with questions I didn't have answers for. I went home feeling so gulity and upset, he made it sound like I was never interested in our relationship. Am I an asshole for feeling like this?