Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I'm an American married to a Filipina, we've been together for 5 years married for 2. We live in the United States.  
We met while teaching in Japan where we made approximately 25k USD/year which was enough to get by, but every month she would send money back to her family in the Philippines. Once we got serious and moved in together this never stopped. She'd defend it as "well it's my money!" but then use the money I made to cover things like dinners and outings.  


Currently we're back in the United States and making more money, but she's sending a solid percentage of it back. We're at the point where we're really just making enough to cover our expenses and not paying off the credit card debt we accumulated from starting our lives here in the US. All of the money I make goes to our credit card (which we still use), health insurance for both of us, and retirement. Since we are waiting for her degree to be evaluated she hasn't started her career yet and is working jobs that don't come with benefits, so our pay checks are about the same after my deductions. She sends approximately 200-300 dollars per month which I feel we should be putting in retirement, paying off our credit card, or moving out of our shoe-box apartment.  


My frustrations also stem from her family there. We help her mom with some spending money and purchase medicines for her, which I am absolutely 100% on board with, her mom sacrificed a lot for my wife to be able to attend college and deserves all the help we can give. My issue stems with two of her brothers. The oldest brother is \~30, didn't finish high school, has never had a job other than driving a motorcycle around for a few months as a taxi, is covered in tattoos which is a big cultural no-no over there, and has an elementary aged son. He, his son, and his girlfriend live in the house my wife purchased rent free. I feel that at his age there's no reason for us to support him, that we're making it too easy for him to exist doing nothing and we're going to be stuck taking care of him forever. I've turned numb to "medical emergencies" and any other reason they need money.  


Her other brother is a college student, very smart guy and lives at home with us as well. We pay his college tuition which is dirt cheap \~250/quarter  I'm totally cool with him living rent free in the house there and I can grin-and-bear paying his tuition because it's so cheap, but part of me also feels that I'm $80,000 in debt for my university studies that I'll be paying on for a long time, why can't he go $4000?  


I understand the culture is different, I understand it's her family and she loves them, but I see the money she spends on them as depriving us of moving forward and establishing a better future while money is still tight.  


AITA?  
