I've always been the fat girl in my friend group, ever since we were in high school. A couple of my other friends were a bit on the chubby side and would complain about it (including my friend Jen, who this post is about), but I was legitimately obese.

A while back I got tired of feeling unattractive and having health problems. I started to try and lose weight. I've never tried to lose weight before, but so far it's going great and I recently dropped into having an overweight BMI rather than an obese BMI for the first time I can remember.

I don't talk about my weight loss journey much in person, since I don't want to be annoying and I know I easily *could* be if given the chance. If people comment on my weight loss (tbf it's a big difference), I just say I'm working out more and trying to eat healthier and then I change the subject. But I'm really proud of how much I've accomplished so far, so I've admittedly posted a few things on social media.

One of the few things I posted was a before/after picture to celebrate me not being obese anymore. In the caption I said something about how glad I am that I started this journey, and a few things about how miserable I was in the before picture because I was always in pain and felt so unattractive, and how much better this has been for my health and my confidence. I only talked about my feelings towards my body, and I was very careful not to bring other people into it or make generalizations about other obese people because I know from firsthand experience how hurtful that is.

So I got some compliments and the usual "you go, girl!" from some of my friends, but then when I met up with my friend Jen she started talking about the post. Jen's had body image issues for a long time and always puts herself down. She's talked a lot before about wishing she was thin. Her problems got worse for a while a few months ago because her now ex-bf of two years cheated on her with a skinny girl and she took as a sign that she's not good enough. I'm including this because it's the part that makes me wonder the most if I'm an insensitive asshole for not thinking of how the post would make her feel.

Jen said the post made her feel worse about herself and asked if I could tone it down. She said it seems kind of arrogant of me to brag about how easy it has been for me to lose weight, and that my behavior on social media looks like I just want attention. She said me talking about how I didn't like my body before would make other people feel bad, and that I should try to be more compassionate. She told me to be careful that I don't turn into the same kind of person I used to hate. I didn't really know what to say so I thanked her and told her she'd given me a lot to think about and I would try to have more empathy moving forward. Kind of regretting it now?

Jen's the sweetest person ever, and it's killing me to know that my post hurt her. It's true that I like the feeling of people cheering me on and complimenting me on my weight loss, after a lifetime of being the fat girl who was always insulted and never taken seriously. But I've made four posts about my weight loss in seven months. That doesn't seem like a lot. I still want to keep posting my accomplishments. Part of me is saying that it's my accomplishment and if I want to brag about it on social media, a place where everyone brags about everything, it's not my fault if someone takes it too personally. But at the same time I feel guilty, especially given Jen's history. AITA?