Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I found via text that my friend F wanted to end our 18 year friendship. It completely blindsided me. I made F talk to me on the phone the next day and found out she had been harbouring resentment on me for the last 1.5 yrs. She said that what caused it all was when I didn’t visit her at the hospital when she gave birth to her daughter. 

Two months prior to her giving birth (April), I had a miscarriage (Feb). It put me in a severe depression and maybe this was my fault but I didn’t know how to deal with it except socially isolate myself from friends, especially those pregnant or with kids, until I felt more emotionally stable. One week before my friend’s due date, I threw her an impromptu baby shower and spent a lot of money on it, buying her dinner at a fancy restaurant and buying baby stuff. By the end of the shower, I went back into a depressed state - the talk about babies and motherhood really reminded me of what I couldn’t have and it just messed me up. I didn’t make a scene at the shower but didn’t say anything to my friend. I decided that I would just hide for a while. My husband decided we should get away and we decided to go to Hawaii because we had the next week off. Without thinking about my friend or anyone else but my husband and I, we went and it helped us. While I was in Hawaii, my friend texted me the news about her birth and I congratulated her. We talked on the phone one time after she was out of the hospital, but I didn’t visit her for the next three months. It partly because I was anxious about it, but I also got pregnant shortly afterwards the trip. Having gone through the miscarriage, I ended up focusing my energy on trying to concentrate on my new pregnancy and seeing if I could make it through the first trimester. 

With that said, I didn’t think about seeing my friend or her baby for 3 months until I felt more secure about myself. I figured she was busy anyways. After our first meeting in a a while, we started spending time together  and when my daughter was born, we started seeing each other more, maybe 1x a month, which I thought was fine. 

With that said, we carried on as if everything was normal and I didn’t know she resented me that entire time. She says that a real friend wouldn’t have gone to Hawaii and that I should’ve been at the hospital (she had some complications and believes she could’ve died from the birth). She also feels we are not close because I should’ve let her help me solve my depression with the miscarriage. I mean, I did tell her about it when it happened and I don’t recall her knocking at my door or calling me, but for me, that was fine. I had no expectations. My thought at the time was, why would I involve a pregnant person in dealing with my miscarriage issues? I felt it was an issue for my husband and I to deal with alone.

AITA?
