First off, I'm a 30 year old woman and I have social anxiety. I didn't take my Klonopin that night because I assumed I'd be okay. I was wrong, very wrong. My friend was throwing a party and invited me. They were the only person I knew at the party and they did not interact with me much. They hire "atmosphere models" that are paid to entertain guests. There's maybe 4 regular people at the party, 2 coordinators, and 8 models. 

When I arrived, I was panicking and went to the room where everyone was. I quickly asked if my friend was there and when they said no, I left to go wait in my room. The coordinator of the party came down to let me know my friend arrived and I can come up now. I did a bee-line straight to my friend and nervously talked to him. All the other "models" were congregating near the bar. I talked to my friend for a short while and then asked the bartender for a drink because of my nerves. Looking back, I wish my friend or coordinator had introduced me. It didn't cross my mind to introduce myself to a large group of girls I don't know since they didn't introduce themselves either! I figured they were deep in a conversation anyway. After I got my drink, I sat down at a table nearby and thankfully, the party coordinator sat down with me and talked for a couple minutes. After the coordinator left, I was there at the table by myself. None of the models said hello. 

They said dinner was ready, so I went to the dining table and sat next to my friend. I was extremely cold and was actually shivering. I was extremely nervous and was having a panic attack. I tried to keep my cool (no pun intended) and two of the "models" seated in front of me were clearly making fun of me multiple times throughout the dinner. They were poking each other and pointing at me while making a judging face, as if I couldn't see them. During the middle of dinner, I told my friend I was going to head downstairs to try and warm up. Still, no conversations with any of the girls at that point.

After I tried to calm down, I went back upstairs and dinner was over. We moved the party to a lounge area and the models sang karaoke. I sat on the couch in an area myself. No one is talking to me, so I'm diddling with my phone the whole time.

This was a long party. Eventually, one highly drunk model comes over and says hello. She is extremely friendly. I am fine at that point in terms of having a panic attack and being cold. She said multiple times to me that she was surprised at how sweet and kind I was. I was thinking.. Yeah, you guys just spend your night making fun of a sweet girl, so I hope you feel good about yourself!! I told her that I was aware the other girls were saying mean things about me and the drunk girl I was talking to acknowledged it happened and felt bad. 

I offer the drunk girl some toiletry items since she forgot them and we go to my room. We cross paths with the girlfriend of the party coordinator. I had been to multiple parties and she and I never had a conversation. I never really saw her at the parties either. She starts the conversation by saying, "I thought you were a bitch." I laugh to myself and ask her to enlighten me. She said, "I was working at the club at a party [back in July] and offered you a drink. You said no." I said, "What? I don't recall that situation. Plus, I'm not a bitch for saying no. Are you joking?" She said, "Well, your body language was bitchy." I said, "I have social anxiety. You can't read my body language like everyone else. Plus, body language can be based on assumptions." I'm standing there dumbfounded that she had been harboring that resentment over me simply saying no! I would not be surprised if she repeated that story and tone whenever a model asked about me. She said, "Oh, I have social anxiety, too! I drink to hide it." She said, "I think you have a little ~spice~ in you. [AKA: You're a bitch." I said, "Hmmm I don't think so."

I go back upstairs with the friendly drunk girl from before and she gets a guy from the party to talk to us. We are all friendly now and I'm sure the other models can see. 

The friendly drunk girl wants us to go to the bar and all the other models are there. None of them introduce themselves or acknowledge me, but I'm really just talking to the coordinator, the guy, and the drunk girl. One girl randomly acknowledges me by saying my dress looks nice. I say, "Thanks." Nothing else the whole night. 

I felt like I was back in a mean girl high school situation. Was I wrong for not introducing myself when I am not an atmosphere model? I do not party or socialize for a living. They knew I was not from an agency, nor was I being paid to socialize like they were. I feel like since they were hired, they should have gone out of their way to socialize with me! Am I an asshole for expecting that? I'm aware my social skills are poor due to social anxiety, but I'm not a monster - barely anyone came up to talk to me and when they did, we had a friendly conversation to the point where they said I was "so sweet." It didn't help that the other models made it very clear they were not fond of me and were making fun of me.




