Some background: My husband and I generally have a loving happy relationship. We are compatible and rarely argue. My mother and I have a normal relationship, some minor issues, but nothing serious.

My daughter (26) got out of a terrible long-term relationship and moved back home with us about a year ago. She has been diagnosed with clinical depression. When she moved in, she struggled with even getting out of bed or showering. Since then, she has done a 180. She got a new full time job, she also is back in school full time because a degree will (hopefully) help her move up in her company, she has also been going to therapy once a week. In my opinion, she is doing fantastic and I am incredibly proud of her. My husband knows all of this.

The issue is that she can be a bit of a slob. She wasn’t like this before, I think she got into the habit of it at some point when she became depressed. This really annoys my husband, but honestly she has so much on her plate that I, admittedly, cut her some slack. 

My mother came to visit yesterday and somehow she and my husband got on the topic of my daughters messiness IN FRONT OF my daughter. My husband was venting about this and my mother was agreeing with him. He brought up her cat and how I am the one who has been cleaning the cats litter box. They both started berating my daughter, saying she was too old for that and asking her why she was keeping the cat if she can’t take care of it. 

My mother went outside to smoke a cigarette and my daughter (who was now crying) told her dad that he hurt her feelings. My husband did not apologize. I went over to my daughter to console her because at this point she was sobbing. She kept quietly repeating to me “I’m a piece of shit. Everyone thinks I’m a piece of shit.” I’m telling her that is NOT true when my mother comes in.

And the pair of them keep going on about it! This is when I lost my temper. I yelled at both of them. I told them to either be respectful toward my daughter or fuck off and that they could have dinner by themselves. 

I then took my daughter to get some food and calm down. 

I have never spoken to either of them like this. Neither of them have spoken to me since yesterday and I haven’t put forth the effort to speak to them either. I do feel bad for losing my temper, but I am also scared for my daughters mental health and I do not want her to go backwards because dad and my mother make her feel bad about herself.

AITA?
