I’m genuinely unsure if ITA in this situation. Hubby and I have been planning a trip to the US and Canada. The plan we had been talking about for the past year is that we would travel in the US for 5 weeks and then I would go home while he travels Canada for 3 weeks alone.

Well he’s been doing so itinerary work and showed it to me yesterday and asked for my expectations of how many days we would be in LA. I said ‘my understanding from what we discussed previously was that you wanted a relaxed holiday, but what you have here is really full on’. That upset him a lot, he yelled at me and said I was just criticising all his hard work without letting him take me through it, and that i have no empathy for him.

Today we were talking about it again and he said ‘I’ve compromised so much on this trip for you. If it were up to me we wouldn’t even bother doing the US. Because of this, I now can only be in Canada for a week.’ Well this was news to me because he had never said that, I had no idea! I told him he never mentioned that and that he really should go to Canada because he’s been wanting to go since he was 15 and it was important to him so important to me, I don’t want him doing the trip to the US for me if it means he misses out on something. And he blew up at me, he said ‘no I want to do this, I just want you to recognise how I’m giving up and compromising so much to do this with you.’ 

I feel like I’m being a wretched person for not being more thankful my husband wants to spend time with me, as I would have thought that’s a given if he’s choosing to do it? If not he can absolutely go to Canada if he feels like he’s giving up so much. AITA?