Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : first off, this is a throwaway due to some of my family and friends knowing my real user.

alright so before christmas, my family usually does a big get-together while everyone is still off work/school/home from uni etc... otherwise we never get to see eachother. so, my cousin, he's 16 and he's huge. not fat or anything like that, he's really tall and very strong and prone to terrible tantrums so a lot of us are kind of on edge about saying or doing the wrong thing that'd set him off.

anyways, he goes through these phases of latching onto different people, and recently he's latched onto my little sister. so during the get-together they were in her room playing video games. now, something that evening had already put him in a bit of a mood. for as long as i can remember, we've had to go out of our way to cater to him, not to his needs, but to what he wants, otherwise he kicks off. so anyways, he asks me if he can play red dead redemption 2, i tell him no because he's not 18 yet, this pisses him off and he runs to tell his mum. his mum pulls me aside and asks me to let him play because its just a game, i tell her i know that its just a game but the last game i let him play, he completely erased all my progress and i didn't want to risk it with this game. everyone's shocked because i said no to him.

my sister eventually lets him play one of her games, and while their playing, my sister asks him how schools going because he starts college soon and he tells her its fine, and he's been texting loads of girls from school. my sister is concerned because there was an instance where he was excluded for a few days because of complaints that he harasses girls in the year below him. his parents use his autism as an excuse, and while i know that he obviously cant function like other kids his age, making up excuses for him teaches him nothing so he just carries on doing it.

but anywho, my sister asks to see a text or two and then that was it. he just completely lost it. smashed one of our controllers and starts throwing stuff around the room. the mood is fucked, everyone leaves early, our annual get-together completely ruined. last year was a special one, too. one of my cousins had a baby and she brought him over for me to meet for the first time, my older brother was going to announce his engagement and my family met my girlfriend for the first time since i came out to them, and all of it was ruined over something so silly.

well, fast forward to christmas day, i wake up to my sister crying her eyes out next door because he had sent her a text saying that he hates her and that she's a cunt and she ruined christmas. i tell her to just ignore it and to tell our mum if he carries on. and boy did he carry on. over the next few days she got texts from him saying that he hopes she gets stabbed and dies, that he hates her and doesnt ever want to talk to her, that he's going to come over and beat her up and calls her a n***er. eventually she blocks him and we go on with our lives.

well, recently we got a call saying that he'd been arrested for domestic violence against his mum and that he's now living with a foster family and that he wants to see me, my mum, brother and nan. my brother was ruled out immediately as he's in america, my mum said no because of the texts, so me and my nan were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe try to get an apology. onto yesterday, he sends my sister an onslaught of horrible messages on fb, some really disgusting and violent stuff and i got so angry i called him and told him i wont be meeting him until he feels like he can start being nice to my sister again and stop sending her vile messages. he kicks off over the phone, says he hates me because im not letting him get his own way. i tell him he cant always get his own way and if he's gonna be like that then i dont want to see him, and then i hung up.

apart from my mum, sister, a cousin and an uncle, everyone now seems to think im being selfish and unreasonable.

so please, am i the asshole??