Sigh. How to start? I consider myself a socially competent person; many might even describe me as "thoughtful." Despite remembering birthdays and volunteering to chat up all the elderly relatives at family functions, the one type of small talk I can't stand are rhetorical greetings. (best example I can find linked below ).


I met a someone at church and we exchanged numbers because I thought we could become friends. As expected they started texting me "happy Sabbath". Sigh. I replied with "happy Sabbath to you too". To which they responded with "thanks" and then the convo died. 


This dance continued for 3 weeks before I decided to reveal my true self. 


I explained that rhetorical greetings give me anxiety. I get that some use it as a polite conversation starter before asking for something - which is fine - but I'd rather no text if they didn't really need to speak with me. 


Why? I'm programmed to be polite. If you text me, you either want something specific or you're lonely. 


If you want something, go ahead and greet me and make your request in one text. Don't wait for me to do the stupid "I'm good. Sup?" It's a waste of time and quite honestly my hands hurt from being on the computer all week. (currently have BOTH hands in splints) 


If you're lonely, have something to talk about. Don't make me do all the work. I didn't summon you, you summoned me! I couldn't be resting my hands while watching a video but nah, I'm here racking my brain trying to generate small talk. 


My friend advised to not reply but that gives me anxiety. What if the person needs something? Not replying might make me appear busy or otherwise unapproachable. (I'm looking at you, people who text 'can I ask you something?' Bish, ask yo' question.) 


If someone is lonely and awkward I don't want them to become depressed and more lonely because they think I'm too cool to chat with them. 


Sigh. So finally, at the end of that long explanation, I typed "if you want me to know that you're thinking of me but don't necessarily need to chat just add 'no reply' to your rhetorical greeting" 


They responded that every message is important and they never send empty greetings. Yeah whatever. 


I didn't hear from them for 3 weeks after that. Just as I was about to feel like an asshole I received another "happy Sabbath" text. This time it was in a group chat. WTF. 


Worse, my texting app isn't dynamic so there was no way to remove myself, only mute. This wasn't helpful because the chat rises to the top whenever a new message comes in. 


Ish was so cringe. My friend would greet the group of 10 people but only 2 would respond. It was a long thread of "happy Sabbath". No small chat. After a month I asked to be removed from the group. 


WHY YOU PUT ME IN THE POSITION TO BE A BITCH?? WHYYYYY


6 months go by and this friend has started with the happy Sabbath shit again. We no longer go the the same church. Twice I responded "thanks same to you". To which they didn't respond. On the third time, I didn't respond. 


Now I have anxiety about being a dick. So Reddit, am I the asshole? 

Should I block their number leaving email as the only form of contact? 

Extra: I also don't respond to generic holiday and birthday greetings. Especially if you text me "HBD". FOH with that laziness. I also don't respond to my mom's rhetorical greetings. She's since learned to be a better conversationalist. I admit the mom thing is slightly dickish but I text her almost daily. Lol. 


https://youtu.be/Y4vel6TdfJg