Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I started dating my girlfriend around 16 months ago, last June. That August I went off to school in another state (5 hours away) and was having a lot of trouble finding any friends and it was really tough being completely alone. Eventually I met these two girls who were pretty cool and we would just do homework together or talk in class, and I mentioned to my girlfriend about how excited I was for her to meet these two girls and she was not happy about it at all. In my mind, I foolishly thought that I should just avoid causing problems and not telling her everything so that she wouldn’t worry that I was cheating on her. She inevitably found out a short time later when I let her go through my phone to find something and she saw I had texted them. What made it worse was that in part of a conversation with those two girls (in a group chat) they said something along the lines of “don’t be sad we love you!” to which I said “lol thanks guys love ya too”. When she read this she was devastated and was entirely convinced that I was cheating on her with both of these girls, especially in a sexual sense. She knows that I have trouble making male friends and that I’m fairly vocal about my emotions to my friends. 

I’m not asking whether I’m the asshole or not in that situation because lying to a significant other, no matter the reasoning, is a dick move. I made a huge mistake and I completely accept that, this is my first serious relationship and I was foolish and ignorant of her feelings. After she found out I didn’t deny any of it and told her if she wanted to break up I understood but I would commit to complete honesty if she wanted to keep trying. 

We ended up giving it another shot, and so I immediately blocked those two girls from everything I had and didn’t talk to them, effectively isolating myself. I constantly apologized when she would berate me and I would snapchat her constantly so she could see what I was doing. I understood why this was happening in the first few months but now that it’s been exactly a year since it happened, I don’t really know if I deserve the verbal abuse anymore. I still haven’t found any more friends, to my dismay, and I’ve been absolutely and undeniably honest with her in my campaign to slowly earn her trust back. 

Am I the asshole still for having caused the issue in the first place? Or is it not right for her to verbally attack me whenever she’s upset and let any argument lead back to how I ‘lust after other girls’. To make matters worse, whenever we start arguing she’ll hit me with “K.” texts over and over and over until I bother her enough that she says “shut the fuck up already” or something similar. 

(And if I am the asshole, do you have any advice for mending my mistake? I know there’s no quick fix, I’m just trying to prove my honesty and show that I’ve changed since that lie.)