My best friend is getting married in May and it’s been the plan all along that her bachelorette would be a weekend away in April. I have helped her plan parts of the trip and was completely on board until this past weekend when she sent me the detailed itinerary of the plans. I’ve been busy these past few weeks and I know she’s been working with ironing out the details with another one of her bridesmaids. 

So the new details I learned this weekend that are making me want to back out were:

1. We’re going away for two nights, not one. I have a full time job and a three year old. My husband is extremely hands on with our son and is totally capable of and will be happy to take care of him for two nights by himself. But I’ve never spent a night away from our son and I am not sure I want to do it now. I think it’s a lot to ask of my husband. Especially because my friend, as much as I love her, is not the most sacrificing by nature and would never do things that don’t fit into her normal life/routine for me. So I don’t want to go out of my way for her. 

2. There are going to be 15 people there, none of who I am super fond of or have anything in common with. I’ve met them a few times over the last 3-4 years and while they were okay to have a brief chat with over dinner, spending 2 days with them seems like A LOT to handle. I initially thought it’ll be just the bridesmaids so like 4-5 of us. 

3. They have plans to go clubbing one of the nights and I just don’t do that. Probably the only person in the group who doesn’t. I don’t drink and going clubbing with 15 people with who I have nothing in common just sounds quite unpleasant. 

4. I’m pregnant and will be 4-months along in April. This adds to the whole not wanting to go clubbing and on long hikes (I haven’t gone hiking in 3+ years) with a large group of women that I’m not friends with. Hiking features a lot in the planned itinerary. 

5. It’s going to be pricey and I’m not comfortable spending a huge amount of money on a weekend that I know I wouldn’t enjoy. I would actually be happier giving that money to my friend as an add-on to her wedding gift. 

So how selfish am I being? My plan is to offer that instead of driving there on Friday night, I can drive up there on Saturday and be there for a photoshoot, lunch, hangout and dinner that she has planned and then drive back home. They have a few things planned for Sunday that I’ll miss but I’m okay with that. 