I [17M] have been in band for six years now. It’s my last year, grade 12, and there is a trip that the band has been looking forward to. We will be adjudicated on this. I am one of the stronger flute players and usually take lead parts or solos. Lately, I’ve been struggling with maintaining my high grades so I could get the best possible chance to be accepted into university. I’ve been really stressed about it.

I gave my band conductor a couple months notice that I am not going on the trip. I’m sacrificing too many days away from school and I feel like I will be overwhelmed from the stress. I also don’t want my parents to pay about $600 on a trip that I might not even enjoy.

After explaining myself to my band mates, I’ve just been told to suck it up. They said that I shouldn’t have signed up for it then. Also, they really guilt me for not going.

I’m stressed and unsure what to do. I need to hand in the check by Friday. Am I the asshole for not going on this trip because I prioritize other things?