Hey guys, this is my first post on this subreddit and my first post in this style so please excuse any format errors. I’ll put a TL;DR but it!s better to read the whole thing as it gives you every bit of Information. Sorry it’s really long but it’s all relevant. 

TL;DR: On and off GF leads me on and uses me for two years and when I realize it I post our text conversations on Instagram to show our friends how shitty she is.

          For some context, at the beginning of my Sophomore year of HS I became close friends with a girl (We’ll call her Sabrina for convenience) that I had on and off feelings for a while after getting into a relationship with one of her friends. Sabrina and I immediately hit it off and were “best friends” all through Sophomore year, she even talked me out of suicide on one occasion. Then eventually we both admit her had feelings for each other right before summer began and started dating.
          
         Unfortunately for me, however, Sabrina informed me that she had huge commitment issues and anxiety, which wasn’t a big deal for me considering that I am usually a very understanding person. The relationship didn’t last long because over the summer she visits her father in a far away city, she starts ignoring me and says it’s because of her commitment issues and says that it should only be temporary (spoiler: It wasn’t). We broke up early in September and the reason she gave for it was that we weren’t talking and that she didn’t want a boyfriend because it would distract her from doing well in school. I didn’t take the breakup well but I was understanding of the situation because we were getting closer to going to college.

          We stayed “friends” for a little while after that until late October of Junior year, when I found out that Sabrina had gotten back into a relationship with the ex-boyfriend she had before me, who also happened to be one of my good friends (Don’t worry there was no harsh feelings between the two of us for dating the same girl). So, I confront her about it, however I will admit I was a bit standoffish but only because I felt like I was lied to, especially because the breakup happened less than 2 months prior to this event and she told me she didn’t want to be in a relationship so she could put 100% of her attention into school. We fight and don’t talk for a couple months.

           Then New Year’s comes around and I decide to make amends with Sabrina as I wanted to have a fresh start with everyone I had wronged the past year. We both talk that night and it was like nothing had ever happened between the two of us, we went back being “best friends” again. We hang out a few times and I start to feel myself catch strong feelings for her again but I just ignore them and continue on just being friends with her, even though she was also single again. We progress through the year just fine, talking as we normally would. We even hung out with each other a few times and on one of those occasions she kissed me but it ultimately led to nothing.

          Now we’re approaching the end of Junior year, and prom was just around the corner, so naturally I ask Sabrina to come with me (as I did not have a GF to take with me at the time) but a few weeks later I meet another girl and we start dating, I did tell this girl about Sabrina and of course she had her suspicions, with her being my ex and all.  I also tell Sabrina about my new girlfriend and she’s completely cool with still going to prom with me. Then about a week before my prom I was planning on spending a Friday night with my girlfriend, but then in comes Sabrina asking a huge favor of me. She asks me to go with her friend to her school’s prom, but it’s on the night my girlfriend and I had planned. I go to my girlfriend and explain the situation and ask if I can go and she gives me the “yeah you can do it, it’s totally fine” response women give when they’re upset but don’t want to outright tell you, some being the oblivious dumbass I am commit to going to prom with her and her friend. As a result of this, my new girlfriend and I break up temporarily as her and my friends both attempted to crash Sabrina’s prom.

          Now that I was once again single, Sabrina and I started getting a little more friendly at my prom, nothing too serious, just things like holding hands. After prom that was as far as we had progressed, we just remained friends. School gets out, I get back together with the other girl, and Sabrina and I continue to talk all throughout the summer, except this time she doesn’t go off the grid for weeks at a time, which I found very strange, despite her being in her dad’s town again for the summer, but I paid no mind. 

          One day in the summer, I post a picture of myself at a concert I went to on my Instagram page and Sabrina post’s something some might consider “thirsty” and my girlfriend took serious exception to that, and it ultimately led to our second and final split. That’s when Sabrina and I really started talking again, we would both hype each other’s pictures up, we would talk for ours at a time, play games together over Skype until 4 am, and a bunch of other things. 

          In mid August, when she returns home,  we decide we want to hangout for the first time in a long time. We have a great time at the mall and movies and the night went by way too fast. Then a few weeks go by and she invites me out to a party for one of her friends’ birthday at the beach, and since at this point I’m crushing hard, I agree without a second thought. That entire day consisted of us either talking in my car, laying on the beach, or with her  nuzzled up next to me on the couch while all of us are watching movies. This is the night I realized I was falling in love with her yet again (big mistake). We ended the night with a long conversation outside her house (In which she hinted at the fact that she wanted me to make the first move) and a long embrace and left it at that. 

          The very next weekend I invite her over to my house to hangout and watch movies and that went as well as that can go. I drive her home, walk her to the door and, with much convincing from her friend earlier that day, I kiss her, and she kisses me back. We both confess our feelings and both of us left with giant smiles on our faces. School begins once again, her and I were seemingly as happy as could be, spending as much free time as we had with each other. We even got a chance to celebrate my birthday together, which made me exceptionally happy as this was the first time I’d had someone who wasn’t family celebrate my birthday. We then began planning a Halloween/ Birthday party for her, and we invited a lot of our mutual friends and we were very excited for that.  We also were getting ready to go to a huge music festival in a city not too far from us and we had been planning it since the previous spring.  I thought that life couldn’t get any better, until only two weeks later she comes to me telling me that her anxiety and commitment issues were once again getting to her, and she tells me, in a very respectful and optimistic way, that she wants to take a break and reconnect as friends so that she can calm down her anxiety so we can have a healthy relationship. I completely understood but I was still afraid that the same thing that happened last time would happen again and I let her know that I was worried that my tendency to overthink things would eat away at me. She offered to be there for any questions I had and for reassurance that she wasn’t going to disappear again. So for the time being my emotions were under control

          At first, everything was just fine, we were still talking, although it was substantially less than we would before and we stopped seeing each other, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Slowly but surely our interactions get shorter and shorter and fewer and farther between. This is where my big mistakes begin, I let all these worries build up because I continued to give her the benefit of the doubt because I thought she could potentially be busy, with school and planning the party. Now, the weekend of the festival is upon us. I ask her if she’s excited for it the day before we were supposed to leave and she tells me, “Oh, I’m not going I sold my ticket” so it ended up being just her friend and I at the festival. While I had a ton of fun going you can only imagine the disappointment after we had planned this trip for months and having her back out at the literal last second. When I get back from the festival I unloaded weeks worth of worries onto her. To her credit, she answered all of my questions and calmed me down temporarily and ensured me that things were going to get better once the day of the party passes. I let that sink in and I have a positive outlook for a while, then the day of the party comes around. Up to that point, our conversations had numbered almost none. Despite this, I’m excited for the party because I really wanted to spend time with her so I went into the party optimistically, even though I am not at all a party person. I get there and I greet her friends that were waiting in front that got there before me. When I got inside I was looking around for her but I was I formed by her friend that she was still getting dressed, so I wait patiently. She gets down and greets everyone generally, and I was hoping she would come and say hi to me personally, but she didn’t and that’s kinda when my night went downhill. The party starts not too long after that, and my anxiety immediately flares up and I’m confined to the wall in the kitchen with all the other people that didn’t like dancing and being in a crowd. Now I stayed like that for a majority of the night, I actually had a bit of fun with the other wallflowers that were with me, but S