There’s a lot more context to fit into that question though.

Let’s call the bestfriend C, new GF, L, and the ex J. C and L used to hook up and currently go to the same university. C and J had been hooking up for a while as well and eventually it became a relationship, albeit an open one where they could hook up with other people but had to be mindful of feelings out of respect for the other.

This relationship, in a matter of months, turned pretty quickly into a neglectful one from C’s side, ignoring J and not giving them the time of day for days or weeks even. J tried to approach everything the healthy way, advocating for communication, growth, to fix this before it was too far gone, unfortunately though, it already was. 

Prior to that, I ended up meeting L, thought L was cute and asked C what the situation was there, having known they used to hook up but with no clue about anything beyond that. C told me they just used to hook up and now they’re friends, I asked C if it was okay if I pursued L and to resounding yes (I asked twice just to be certain I wasn’t crossing any boundaries). Great! Off to pursue L I go.

L and I eventually develop feelings for eachother, overlapping with the timeline of C being neglectful to J and evidently coming more and more to terms with their true feelings for L. It eventually comes to light from C telling me that they actually not only have feelings for L but that they’re in love with them. This threw me a curveball, didn’t see it coming, and it became an over-the-phone fight for about 3 hours between C and I where they detailed that they only originally said it was fine because they’ve felt as though I don’t respect them and I wouldn’t have listened to them even if they said it wasn’t fine to pursue L.

That call resulted in me basically saying “Forget all your friends, forget L, they’re blacklisted in my mind as far as our friendship goes because our friendship is more important than all of this” and we’d been fine since then.

Fast forward to this December, C and J have since broken up at long last while L and I have been speaking with more frequency again. Unbeknownst to me, so has C throughout this entire time that their relationship with J was on the decline. L spoke to me about everything implying that they had feelings for me, no longer C. After hanging out with J (we ARE friends after all) just yesterday, I decided to text L and ask exactly what the situation between them and C was. J and I put our timelines together and realized where all the deceit seemed to be. Lo and behold they’re in a relationship! I was telling a story to J as I read that text and I was very clearly shocked, J was curious, so I showed them that text message. J and I ended up essentially on opposite sides of the same fence.

A few more texts between L and I but we kept it cordial only to wake up this morning to a very angry text calling me a scumbag for telling J that C and L were now dating mere weeks after C and J ended. So I ask you, Reddit, AITA?
