Recently, a friend from some years ago reached out to me to try to reconnect. I, in effect, said no.

Though I think I had genuinely liked him when I first met him, at some point I was just tolerating him. He tended to annoy me, but I didn't want to be mean, so I said nothing. I also never thought he was a bad person by any means, so I'd have felt guilty pushing him away.

When he asked to reconnect, I remembered the toleration. That I didn't _really_ like him, but kept being friends for his sake. I said no partially because I don't like him a ton but also largely because I think that that was a toxic situation for him to be in, and didn't want to allow it to happen again. He's a good person and deserves to be with friends who like him for who he is.

Of course, it's easy to point out that I could just learn to like him for who he is, solving the issue outright. But I'm not sure if it's fair for anyone to tell me (or me to tell myself) that I _ought_ to like someone--I either do or I don't. As my dad once said, "it's not your job to be anyone's friend." And I'd rather, for both parties' sake, make it clear which way it is--either we can be genuine friends, or not. No toxic in-between that breeds uncertainty and insecurity. I hate being in that situation and would prefer a clear answer, so I will give a clear answer to others.

Additionally, the fact that I _am not_ reconnecting and accepting him for who he is seems to be some evidence towards the fact that it wouldn't be a good idea to try; that it would crash and burn because I'm not quite an accepting enough person yet. But perhaps this is just me making excuses.

IATA regarding what happened in the past; I should have gone one way or the other. But AITA now?