For starters, I’m in a state where pot is still illegal. That’s a big one for me. Secondly, I’ve never smoked. I grew up being taught how terrible it was, and how it was a drug, and you just don’t do it. I’ve formed into that thinking and believing it. I hate the smell of it. I hate the stories of “oh we were so fucking high and this happened.” I’m probably just a prude. So here’s what happened. 

Boyfriend works where there’s drug tests. He’s probably getting a new job which is a great opportunity for him, and I really couldn’t be more excited for him. However, it’s a job that he won’t be drug tested. He used to be a big smoker back in the day before he got his current job. Talks about how much he loved it and it helped with his anxiety and stuff. 

I told him that I’m excited for him, but yes I am really paranoid and nervous that he’s gonna be this pothead again, and I’m just not attracted to that. So we started bickering about it and I finally just told him “do what you want, babe and if I decide that I don’t want to date a pothead, then I will leave.” 

This infuriated him because I would throw everything we have away over him “occasionally” smoking. I told him it’s just my morals and standards and I was raised to believe it’s a drug and I don’t want to be with someone who does drugs all the time. 

We never agreed on anything anytime we tried to talk it out and ended up going to bed angry with each other. Honestly, I feel bad like I’m preventing him from doing something that he enjoys and could potentially help his anxiety. But I just can’t get over how gross and unattractive I think it all is. So, AITA for not wanting to date a pothead?