Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My mother remarried when I was 18 after being a single mother for years. I'm 32 now.

Recently my mother decided that my choice of spouse and my spouse's religion did not align with her expectations, so she cut me out of her life last winter.

Fwiw, she's sent a few texts saying she loves me, but also refuses to apologize for her actions. She also thinks I'm being disrespectful for standing up for my partner's freedom to believe what she will. 

The only reason I ever talked to her husband is that I'd go visit every few months. When I was younger he asked me to go hunting with him, but I didn't really enjoy it. 

His mother passed away a few years ago and he asked me to attend the funeral. I did - I even filled in as a pallbearer because one dude had a back injury.  I felt super uncomfortable doing that because I had never met his mother. And now I'm a pallbearer at her  funeral. Apparently he insisted to his brothers that I do it because he saw me as “her grandson.” I didn't want to make a fuss at this poor woman's funeral, so I went along with it.

Now that my mother disowned me, I haven't visited or contacted him. He texted asking if he had done something wrong to make me push him away, and I basically told him what I'm writing here now. He's an okay dude, but we don't really have anything in common.  And with my mother freezing me out, I don't feel like navigating the complicated politics of him, her, and me. Even if we keep our contacts brief and relatively discreet. Ain't got time for that lol.

I felt bad about it, but I've been reflecting on just how much I've bent backwards to accommodate his “son I never had” fantasy. I've no interest in a surrogate father figure, and I've no interest in helping him live out his fatherhood fantasies. He has a daughter - age 36 - that he never really spent time with either and never fully acknowledged.  

Plus, he once tried to extort my mother out of $100,000. He asked for a divorce and said $100,000 would get him to go away quietly. This was years ago an apparently they figured it out. But still, once bitten twice why, right?

So. AITA?