Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Throwaway since it is so personal. Apologies for poor grammar, still fuming.

My dad and I have a very poor relationship. He has this thing about weight and being thin. When he was young, his dad always said that being fit was key and that he was fat etc so my dad took steroids and became a body builder, (he’s a fat ass now though, side effect of his drug abuse). Anyway, my dad has always called me fat. I remember one time, I was eight and in public with my thin as a pin niece and he kept making jokes about my weight, (i was thick set as a kid but never ‘fat’ or even overweight. I had a normal BMI since I was quite tall). He kept calling me chubby, fat and people kept turning round and looking at me and I started crying. So he said ‘I’ll buy you a chocolate bar, that will make you feel better, won’t it fatso?’ 

Yup. 

He disguised these kinds of comments behind the need to be healthy, emphasising the need to exercise etc but it always had that undercurrent of ‘you are not good enough’. He used to weigh me every day and make comments like, we need to improve this etc etc. 

Anyway, when I became a teenager, the thoughts came. I thought I wasn’t good enough and my dad reaffirmed it every single day. I developed bulimia and anorexia for a eight year period. Threw out my meals, kept everything secret. 

I told my parents finally after they caught me with my fingers down my throat and a suicide note which surrounded my need to be thin. 

You know what my dad said?

“You never had anorexia. You weren’t skinny enough.”

Anyway, i have become very spiteful and mean as a result. I take every opportunity to knock him down and other people close to me and I hate myself for it.

One of my main goals is to ruin my parents marriage. My dad says these kinds of comments to my mum too and treats her shittily. She’s not happy, not completely but she loves him. She forgives him, that’s the main difference between us. She has a history of anorexia and domestic violence fuelled by her dad. She says my dad isn’t as bad so I shouldn’t complain. 

Anyway, I had an encounter this evening which broke the camels back to speak. I was trying on clothes, dad came in and just snorted and left. Two panic attacks later, I lost it. 

I have given her an ultimatum, i move in with my grandparents or she leaves him. I know I’m guilt tripping her and he’s never hit either of us or anything, or cheated on her, etc. The worst thing he does is drink all the time, (he says most of these things when he’s drunk). I just can’t stand him. I don’t feel comfortable in the same house as him. 

I know this sounds like an attention seeking post but I just want someone to tell me: is it wrong to intervene in my parents relationship when they are ok because I have a bad relationship with my dad? Am I being selfish? 

AITA?

 