Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I (22M) have been dating her (21F) for a few months now and we are students at a pretty large college in the United States. Let me start off by saying that she’s not an alcoholic, she only goes out 1-3 times a week which is a pretty normal amount for a social outgoing person in college. However, whenever we do go out she always gets black out. Like there’s no in between, happy buzzed - it’s either completely sober or straight blackout. 

A few weeks after we first met and started seeing each other I was out of town and she got blackout and kissed a guy. We’d only met two weeks before then and hadn’t defined anything so I told her how’d that make me feel in the future and we defined an exclusive relationship. 


Since then, to my knowledge, there’s been no reason for me to not trust her when she’s gone out. But obviously there are nights where they do a girls night out, or I’m busy or want to do something with my friends. And she will still go out and get blackout drunk which makes me uncomfortable. I brought it up and explained that I think the behavior isn’t healthy and it’s not that I don’t trust her, it’s that I don’t trust other people and I want her to be safe because I’m not always gonna be out with her to watch out for her. She proceeded to get really upset and say that I’m accusing her of being an alcoholic and that I’m coming across as controlling in her social life. I’m not trying to seem controlling and tell her she can’t go out, I’m just asking that she doesn’t get so fucked up and put herself in a spot to be taken advantage of or do something dumb. 

So am I the asshole for telling her I don’t want her to get that drunk when I’m not around? Am I coming across as controlling? Because like I said she’s given me no reason to believe that she can’t handle herself after we defined things. 

tl;dr: girlfriend gets blackout when going out. I told her I’m not comfortable with it and she said I’m being controlling and I should be able to trust her. 