Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :   

Been on reddit for about a month or so at this point and this will be my first post so forgive me if I'm doing anything wrong as far as formatting goes or typos. Also a  long post so sorry for the long read, just needed to vent. 

To start, a little bit of back story is necessary to understand everything in the story. I had met a gal on a dating app about five years ago and we had "dated" for a bit before things went to shit. Now something that's important to know is that she lived in another state, (I know, very dumb and foolish of me) but that didn't matter to me because I loved our conversations and had hoped that maybe we would meet up and see where things went from there. I also confirmed that she wasn't a catfish since that was when the show on MTV just got big and made it one of my main concerns but that's just a random side note. Mind you that I was about a year in a half out of high school at this time and was far from having any sort of money to be able to go on a trip by myself. Nonetheless I went through with pursuing a relationship with her and after we split, we remained good friends but would have moments where we wouldn't talk to each other for a few months here and there. Sometimes it would be because we would fight and make up later. Other times we would just fall off. We'll call her Cali for the story. 

Now before any of of that happened it is also important to know this tid bit. A good year or two before I met Cali, I volunteered at a basketball camp that my church held in which a youth group from Missouri came up and helped us out. Now being an awkward/weird kid in in high school, (still awkward, but much more comfortable in social situations, I try to make others laugh with my weirdness) I began to come out of my shell a bit and I would chit chat with some of the nice folk from the youth group. Ended up befriending some of them and adding them on the Book of Face. One of the people that I added was a girl who I had a crush on, but never really thought I had a chance with so it was mostly us making small talk and just catching up every few months. She did come with the group again the next year, but I had a gf at the time so anything with her relationship wise wasn't even a question. We'll call her...Mizzou. 

Now fast forward to this year, where I have a better paying job and can actually do some of the things that I want to do on my own. I've also become more confident in myself and I'm not as afraid to ask certain questions. So still having feelings for Cali, I suggest we meet each other in person as we had started to begin falling for each other again. She says yes and I'm like holy shit, this is great! I offered to get a hotel for her to stay in while she visits since she would be the one coming to me. Figured I should definitely help out and try to make it easier on her especially if it was my idea. She later claims that she has a cold and can't come only to later admit that she flaked out on me. Fan-fucking-tastic. 

Several months later, I start up with Mizzou again and one day I give her a compliment on her smile or something and she responds surprisingly well to it. So well that she ends up asking me to come out and hang with her. I'm like hold up, you serious my gal? Pffft, hell yeah. We end up at the point to where we're talking all day, every day for a good five months before my journey to visit her. We would snapchat, talk on the Book of Face, Facetime. The whole nine yards. Now over the course of the five months, I'm keeping it cool and just being my naturally weird/awkward self while also flirting with her here and there and letting her know that I'm interested to which she begins to flirt back too. It even gets to a point to where I'm talking about how if I had the chance to date her I would to which she replies, "You never know what could happen" which I respond by losing my shit because that made me so fricken happy. I get the vacation days from work off and I am more than excited to see her again. But what do ya know, her ex shows up about half way through my five/six day stay while I'm there and just makes everything weird. We go from talking and being super pumped and excited to do all this stuff around the city that she planned out each day, to her always being on her phone and seeming kind of distant. And when I mean kinda distant, I mean losing all the motivation to do anything at all. Save for a few moments here and there, she was just silent. Maybe she was embarrassed or old feelings had been brought up again. Anyways she ends up taking me to meet her parents and hang with some of her friends a few nights and I'm like ok this good. I felt a little froze out here and there with her friends, but I blame that on me being nervous around them and just meeting them. Then before I leave she apologized for that lovely guest appearance from her ex and I'm like it's ok. Not your fault. It's fine it is what it is...or is it? 

Turns out she told him when I was coming so that he wouldn't pop up and make things awkward, which made absolutely no sense to me. As far as I was tracking, they weren't on good terms based on the break up and what happened after. She was heartbroken over that. And that's totally understandable. I wouldn't have expected her to move on and not let it get to her so soon. Looking back at it now, as much as I hate to say it, she might have looked at me as a way to get her ex back or just make him jealous. I say this only because as far as I know, if she wasn't talking to him while she was talking to me, then why fucking bring it up to him. To me, the chances of him showing up were slim to none if he broke up with her a good eight months or so ago if she had just not told him. So this angered me as I found this out once I returned home but it still didn't change how I felt about her. Me being too caught up in the idea of being in a relationship with her, I had even considered going to a college not too far from her so that way I could finish my degree as well as work on things with her. I ran this by her about two weeks after I got back, and she gave me the standard "idk, I haven't thought about it (it being us dating)  too much" and I could accept that. Just to make sure that I wasn't given a bs answer, I asked if what she had thought about us was good or bad to which she said that it was good. Ok, cool so although she didn't say yes to the idea, it wasn't a complete no to it either. Two or three weeks go by again at this point and I'm feeling like our conversations just aren't the same as she is beginning to seem distant. So why not ask the question again! She ends up giving me the same "idk" answer before I tell her to just say what's on her mind straight up. She ends up telling me she isn't ready for a relationship which sucked, but more than anything made me angry as I felt like she had felt that way for some time. I don't mind that she said she wasn't ready, I was just mad because I felt lead on. Needless to say that was all I needed to cut that friendship off. I was just too hurt and upset to be able to talk with her without thinking about all of that. I tried to talk to her in recent month but it's just not the same. 

Fast forward to a few weeks ago and I'm telling Cali about this, along with several other stories of me being used recently, and after I'm finished telling her she just disappears, but yet was still posting stories on her snap. This irritated me since usually she would listen to me vent and we could talk about everything but this one time all she says is "that sucks. I gotta go." and when I asked what was wrong she just left me on read. That's cool. I'll bitch about it for a few then I'll probably be over it in a day or two. The next day when I get off shift, I see she messaged me and she apologized saying that what she did wasn't cool but she was a tad bit upset with me. Upset with me over what? I don't get enough sleep already and with work taking up 15 hours of my day, I wasn't exactly in the best mood to hear from her after that stunt the night before. Anyways, I will admit that I responded with a "entertain me" when she asked if I wanted to know why she was upset the previous night. She went on to say that she should "cut my sorry ass" out of her life and that I probably shouldn't be one of her closest friends in the first place. She tells me that she was upset because when we were "together", I hadn't thought about coming to visit her but I did for Mizzou and how she (Cali) didn't mean shit to me. Apparently when I was telling her my history with Mizzou, the only thing she heard was that we had ONLY talked for five months and completely ignored the fact that I had known Mizzou for a good minute. Oh, did I forget to mention that when I first started talking to Cali, she had mentioned numerous times about her town being full of racist, one of which being her step-father. Being a minority, that definitely sounds like a nice place to visit right? I explained all this to her as well as bringing up her backing out on the visit that I mentioned earlier which ended up in us talking things out so we ended up on good terms by the end of the night.

 It's been a week since that and we still haven't talked and I'm honestly not upset about that. I feel that if we were as close of friends as she says yet she would drop me over something that in my opinion is extremely ridiculous to even be mad about, then maybe I should be the one distancing her. I have been flip flopping on this idea since. On one hand, I do value our friendship and that's where I think maybe I need to just calm down, but also at the same time I feel expendable if she's willing to cut things off over something like that. I understand how she put that idea together, but I don't think see how she can be upset about it when SHE ba