Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Now I'm not a particularly passive person, if I see something I think is wrong I tend to point it out. Stand up for what I think is right and all. Now when this young girl started working with us I wasn't sure where I stood with her. We have a small workforce, only about six people, so I work in a close environment with her most of the day. She can be moody and very rude and negative unless you catch her on a good day. 

Now she's about nineteen and some of her behaviour I put down to her being very immature for her age. She seems to want people to see her as this badass, edgy, straight talking person who doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. I suspect she cares. And I've learned after getting to know her better that her home life is not the best, I have reasons to believe there may be some level of abuse. She told her her mother once threw an ashtray at her and punched her hard enough her face bruised, then giggled about it. I told her it wasn't alright for anyone to lay hands on her and she started crying. So I hugged her and told her if she ever felt unsafe then she could call me and I'd open my spare room to her. Since this incident I've been trying to be understanding of her sour moods and have been paying closer attention to her good qualities. She's very funny for a start, though I like blunt and sometimes harsh humour - as does everyone else in the workplace. She can be kind, when she's not trying to act macho, and she's a hard worker too. 

Well we were having a cheerful debate at work over something unrelated and this girl steps in saying we should debate other things. Then, in an act I can't help think is designed just to draw attention, flatly states that she's a racist and we should debate about that. We ask questions, obviously, and she comes away with things like "I hate Pakis. If there's a Paki on my bus I'll get off at the next stop and catch a different one." and "If one started working here I'd quit.". She also takes the time to clarify that by "Paki" (I'm sorry about the slur, I'm just quoting her) she didn't mean specifically anyone from Pakistan, but actually meant "anyone brown", namely Middle Eastern and Indian people. The first thing I said is that I think that's disgusting behaviour. She defends her opinion saying that when she was young her uncle said if she misbehaved he'd put her in a black hood and send her away to them. I argued that, though that's disturbing, it doesn't justify her words or actions. 

But everyone else was quiet and my manager tried to diffuse the situation by sort of going along with her. Basically telling her 'yeah, we know you don't give a fuck. Your opinion's your opinion, it's whatever'. She tried a few times to encourage conversation about it, saying that she doesn't care if we think she's an asshole and that she's not going to lie about what she thinks. But after a while nobody said anything, it was awkward. And again, I'm not convinced that she doesn't care what people think and part of me wonders if this is some weird, pathetic trick she's got to try and seem edgy. Either to get attention, bad or good, or to push people away. 

I can't exactly psychoanalyse her so I won't know exactly what's behind it. But it bothers me that work is just going on as normal and that everyone is joking around as normal. I've remained civil but I feel bad about laughing when she tells jokes. And the other day she was standing in the rain waiting for the place to open so I let her sit in my car with me until our boss arrived. I had to attend our works' Christmas night out and she danced with me on the floor. On one level I worry about her situation and have started getting along with her, but one part of me wants to completely disassociate from her and only speak regarding work. I already voiced my opinion, I'm not sure what else to do. 

So am I being an asshole here? Could I be doing more?