Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : So this story is very long I’m sorry for that but it all comes together at least for me. So my aunt let’s call her A. So back in October we are informed she is going to marry a man from Nigeria. Someone we’ve never met, spoken to or heard of once. And she is going to his country to marry him. All of those just a month after her divorce and with two small kids ages nine and six. We get in contact with this guy let’s call him K. So we talk to K and it’s very suspicious to us, they met on Facebook, he lives in a dangerous part of the country and has never cared for a child before. We of course asked if he is ready to care for two children who have their own baggage and be responsible for them if he is going to be their dad. His response was “don’t worry Iv held a baby before.” This was our first interaction and over the next two months we tried to convince her not to get married and not to take our grandparents with her to this country as it is not safe and is listed as being dangerous by the state department.

When she goes over she shouldn’t mention she was married before or that she has kids to his family or his community. This was as he put it “they might look down on me for this or think there is something wrong with her as a woman” but when we looked into this online and asked  two acquaintances who lived in the country for some years they said this was not true.

We offered to help him to reach a place closer to the US where we could all meet him and it would be safe. But he gave us multiple excuses including “they don’t like brown people there”! However eventually she agrees not to marry him the one week she is going to meet him for the first time and she won’t bring our grandparents. 

She got back three weeks ago or so and she has an engagement ring and she seems excited. We’ve asked how he intends to get to the US with the immigration restrictions and she says once their married it will be a lot easier for him.  

The kids seem excited but I know the younger one doesn’t understand the impact of this and I think the older one can understand but not fully. 

She plans now to go back and get married in early May. Iv talked to him over the phone and he seems nice. The kids like him. His background checks out and he seems excited to get married to her and vice versa. But it hasn’t even been a full year since she got divorced and I’m unhappy with how she choose to leave her kids to go marry a man she had only known a month. But I can’t help but feel I should be more supportive since they do seem to love each other. Am I the asshole? 