Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : On mobile and I'm sorry for formatting.

Some backstory:

I've been with my SO for three years now going well into our fourth. I am Filipino/Vietnamese and she has a Greek/Italian background. When we started dating I couldn't meet her parents because they originally disapproved of her dating someone that wasn't of European decent and so we had to keep our relationship quiet. Her Mum caught on but we then found out she doesn't mind us dating as long as her daughter is happy. She only took on that mentality because of her husband and upbringing but had since moved on from it and changed her mentality. But her Dad has been a struggle. My SO has tried telling him on multiple occasions that we were in a relationship and every time she brought up the subject of dating, he would always mention that dating someone out of their original race or skin colour was a bad thing because you're not respecting your heritage and he would sometimes even get angry and threaten suicide if he found out anyone in the family was dating someone of a different ethnicity. Throughout the years her Dad has been abusive and emotionally manipulative. He has OCD and gets everyone to do work for him around the house and things like that because he has a lot of triggers for it. He has always blamed someone or something else when things go wrong and has never thought to look inward and take the blame. He once got violent after she came home late because she was out with me and a few mates. He knew I was a close friend and definitely did not want me dating his daughter and would call me really shitty and derogatory names according to my SO. 


Recently in the past year her Dad had been kicked out of the house and after an incident that turned violent in the house involving my SO's Dad and her Brother. He is now cut off from the family and my SO is the only who talks to him now. She has since told him of our relationship. She mentions every now and then her Dad wants to take us out to concerts and events and things like that, I laugh it off and make a joke about not wanting to go, but I'm still really hesitant to talk to the him or even meet him. A month ago he popped up to visit us out of nowhere and without warning and I had a panic attack and ran upstairs to our apartment and just freaked out and ignored her Dad. My girlfriend is starting to catch on and is actually wanting me to meet with him and try to bury the hatchet. I think that I am overreacting because he might actually be trying to fix his past mistakes but he still refers to me as "The Asian" instead of my actual name and seeing shit like that bothers me. I also don't want him around because from the texts I see he threatens suicide every time he doesn't get his way. I love my girlfriend and I would do anything for her, but I'm finding it so hard to find the courage to actually go out with her Dad. So am I the asshole for not wanting to meet him or have him around in our lives?