TL;DR - my SO of 12 years fails to meet me with his side of the bargain when we decided to be better about giving gifts. I’m getting frustrated. 

To start out, I’m 26F and my fiancé is 27M, and we have been together for 12 years. We’ve lived together for the past 7 years, and have two small children, 5 &amp; 2. We have a mostly happy life, but the past few years, we’ve gone through a bit of a rough patch financially, so we stopped giving each other gifts for holidays and birthdays, except for the kids. We share finances. 

Two years ago, we decided we would get back to giving each other gifts, even if it was a card, trinket, etc. Nothing crazy, small gifts. He agreed and seemed excited.

Since then, I have given him gifts for his birthday, Father’s Day, Christmas, and sometimes for no other reason than I love him. Most recently for Valentines Day, I gave him a beard care kit ($10), a mug ($3), a card from the kids and I, and some candy. I set it up as a surprise for him to go into his office and find and I was really excited for him to see it because I enjoy doing special things like that for him.

He showed no emotion, gave a half hearted thanks, and hasn’t made any motion towards reciprocating the gift giving. I’m getting increasingly frustrated because it is now past V-Day with no signs of any kind of plan in motion. 

He does work night shift. I’m trying to be accommodating and understanding, but I’m really sad. I’ve talked to him several times over the past year about it, and his response is that he has no idea what I like. 

I understand that gift giving might not be his love language, but I have communicated how much it means to me that he meet me in the middle of our deal and he tells me he will get better, but it doesn’t change.

I’m not trying to be selfish, and I feel conflicted because should I really be this upset over material things? Probably not, but I can’t help it. 

AITA?