My recent ex and I have a complicated history. We have known each other for approximately 25 years. We started dating a year and a half ago. We were both abused, and we have a lot in common, including PTSD. We both hate asking for help because if an abuser helps you it means you owe them something. So, I made a lot of excuses for him.

About 6 months ago he got fired and went into a deep depression. I have been drowning financially but supported him and he was unemployed the entire 6 months. I asked him to get help and he refused. It got to the point where I would be homeless if I didn't kick him out and start over in a new, smaller/cheaper place. 

So I did. But we continued to see each other. He's been resentful and emotionally abusive on and off. He stayed the night and then started moving stuff in and we got in a fight because he doesn't respect my boundaries and I said he can't live here until he starts helping and gets his shit together.

I am at the end of my rope. I broke it off.

This happened yesterday. Tonight he came here begging me to stay the night because he "has nowhere else to go," and would be fucked without his storage key. None of this is true. He lost the key a few days ago. It isn't here. Also he yelled at me and called me names earlier today and OH HE DOES HAVE PLACES TO GO. Now I'm not saying it's ideal, but he has plenty of loving friends who would help him. But he's a stubborn ass and I promise he's going to sleep in the street tonight out of spite and obstinance, and try to get me to let him in tomorrow.

He's got a really sweet friend who offered for him to stay with her and her fiance and I know he hasn't told them what's going on out of shame. Should I call her and let her know? 

Please keep this in mind: I love this man. He's a jackass, but the both of us have survived trauma worse than most people and poverty. If we weren't stubborn, we'd be dead already. And frankly I'm not mad. I feel awful. I am sad. 

Am I the asshole, or would I be if I called his friend and asked her to try and get through to him? 

Sorry for jumbled explanation. I'm a little emotional still. He just left. 