My husband has a very flexible job that usually allows for working from home several days per week. That's great, for several reasons, but it can also be difficult on both of us. Occasionally he has to do video calls, record meetings or interviews, and though he has an office room upstairs, noise can still reach.

We have 3 kids under 4 who are home most/all of the day, whom I look after primarily during workday hours. It's just plain noisy sometimes. I believe I strike a good balance between keeping the peace/choosing my battles and not spoiling them or letting them get away with bad behavior, so there's occasionally screaming, crying, fights, and tantrums. That's how babies and toddlers are (and my husband is around a lot and knows this well).

My husband has never gotten upset about the noise, but he will request we be quiet during times he's on a call, and send reminder texts to keep it down pretty much every time the volume goes up. This is stressful for me, because one, it's not like I enjoy the crying, I'm already trying my best to keep them calm anyway, not like I've forgotten, and two, I don't like feeling like a nuisance in our own house. I don't mind taking the kids out of the house during vital times either, but again, if they're all home it's not the easiest thing to keep them all safe and corralled outside either, and especially times weather is bad or I'm not feeling up to it.

(Another, smaller piece of why it can be extra stress when he's working at home is that he does create extra mess. He's conscientious enough, but if he's busy he might eat/drink and leave dishes in the kitchen, leave clothes not put away, small things like that. I like keeping the house fairly neat, and that's already a herculean effort with all the children around, so I don't appreciate extra clutter on top of that. I don't want to complain about this too much, since it's not a huge deal, I am cleaning anyway, and I'm happy to do so while he's the one doing all of the income-bringing work. So again, it's another place I'm not sure if I have the right to complain.)

So, I THINK I'm being fairly accommodating, to a reasonable extent. I do want my husband to enjoy the benefits of working from home, being able to wear comfy clothes, no commute, work in the comfort of his own space, etc., plus I benefit as well, if it's a less busy day and he's around to cook and eat together, play with kids together, and so on. But at the same time, it's often an additional stress on top of an already insane amount of stress I deal with every day being the primary kid watcher and work-from-home parent myself. I feel like, since he always has the option of going to the work office, or even elsewhere out of the house, if he needs absolute quiet, he should arrange ahead of time to leave, and if he chooses not to, he should not really have much complaint about the kids being noisy when I am also at least making an effort and he knows they're unpredictable little kids.

When I ask my husband what his plans are for the day, he sometimes asks or offers if I'd like him to leave the house. I already feel like too much an asshole to say "yes". But I'm not sure, so that's why I'm asking. I tried to represent both sides fairly and accurately. AITA for not wanting my husband to work from home all the time, and WIBTA if I said so?