Some context ~ back in September one of my friends, S, took his own life. We hadn't had much contact other than homeroom a couple weeks before, so I found out a few days after it happened and took a day off of school, since I was upset about this and didn't think I would be able to go all day without crying. I knew him well enough to call him my friend, we talked to each other in passing, and he was such a nice, sweet guy. He was always smiling, super happy go lucky, and it just made me laugh and smile to be around him. I never would have expected him to do something like take his own life, but I guess he hid it well.

His girlfriend, J, who was my friend for several years before I had gotten to know S, was also deeply affected by this and stopped coming to school for about a month and a half. All she would post to any of her social media would be pictures of her and S. She acted like he was still alive. I was really worried about her and was super relieved when I saw her again. I knew she was struggling, like all of us. 

It was only recently that I felt okay to start talking about S again. I shared stories about him during lunch with our other friends, and we all laughed and cried together. After lunch, however, J pulled me aside. Here's basically what she said:

J: Could you please stop acting like you know S that well? You weren't even friends. 

I had known him longer than she had known him, so I was a bit taken aback by this and got angry. 

Me: You were dating for what, half a year? He was my friend. I'm allowed to get upset. Maybe he didn't think of me as a friend, maybe he didn't talk about me all that much, but I considered him my friend, and you can't take that away from me. 

J: He wasn't your friend and you know it. We were together for almost a year. He never mentioned you. You hung out with him outside of school once. 

Me: At least I don't go around posting his pictures all over snapchat like woe is me, my boyfriend is dead. It's not like you were going to be together for the rest of your lives. It was a high school relationship! 

J walked away and stopped talking to me after that. She called me an asshole and basically stopped coming to lunch. All of our other friends were alright with this, cause she had apparently been invalidating their relationship with S too. I understand that she's grieving, but so are we. 

So AITA here? Did I take it too far? 