Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : So this is a throwaway because my husband is on Reddit. Short story- I am thinking about going on a big vacation with my kids this summer without my husband....  Back Story: I am a teacher with summers off. My husband is an ER tech- working 3 days a week- 12 hour shifts. He has been working NIGHT shift. With our four kids ages 5-15 - sports - school- daycare - we are BUSY. He especially is exhausted!  Anyhow...we have been planning a BIG family vacation for this summer. We were going to go on a cross-country drive to visit family. Stop and see a lot of sights, and a lot of family. I have really been looking forward to this for so many reasons. First being we have never taken our kids on a trip like this. We RARELY go on vacations/big outings of any kind. My 15 year old will be a junior next year.... we are running out of time to take our first baby on a trip like this- as our KID. Not to mention we can check out some colleges! Second- some of the family we will be visiting has made HUGE efforts to come and see us over the past years and we have NEVER been to their house.  We are finally able to financially make this happen. I'm off summers, and my husband saved some PTO, made some shift trades to get the window of time we needed. Well, an unexpected change happened at my husband's work recently which will lead to an opening on DAY shift. These openings do not happen often. My husband has a REALLY good shot at the spot. But it also means a new manager, new schedule. He is ecstatic. But this would also mean no vacation. He already confirmed that the dates won't work.  My husband and I went a few rounds- I was expressing too much disappointment at a potentially cancelled vacation and he thought I was blaming him and not supporting him in this new opportunity. I am happy for his opportunity- his health and happiness is important to me! Night shift sucks! We talked that out- determined there was no blame- just shitty universal timing. However I still want this vacation. I want to take my kids on this trip. I want to show my daughter some college campuses. The kids are all excited for it too! I want to visit family. And YES- I want my husband there- in fact driving that far without him is a tad scary- but I know I can do it. However, I know he would like to go with us. I know he doesn't want to miss the family vacation. Would knowing that- and still going make me a giant asshole?