So I recently start hanging out with these two guys who are brothers, Levi and Ian. the same age as me (21) at the time. We become amazing friends and spend so much time together and literally can find any way to have a good time.

But then there is their best friend, (they have the same best friend) Adam. Adam is 24.

At first Adam came across as friendly and interested in getting to know me. But then one day when I'm in the car with Adam and Levi, I start going through what I like to refer as a "lull" where I don't initiate any conversation and just become quiet but it's kinda like I'm socially spent and I just feel "low" and at the time I assumed I was depressed but never went to get it checked out.

Well ever since that time Adam started treating me different. If we were all in a car he would talk and interact with every single person except me, even if I said some kind of comment directed at him. The only time he would seldom "talk" to me was indirectly when someone brought up something about me that i did that was funny or silly in a joking way and he would take it more serious and thrown in a passige aggressive remark. 

It was like Levi and Ian didn't see it. And at first I thought I was going crazy and just paranoid and I remember literally telling Ian "I don't think Adam likes me" and his response was "I think he just doesn't know you". 

I never experienced this with Levi and Ian. It was like day and night. It was so fun to be around them that I put up with Adam's behavior, even when it meant he would "control" the group and be the person deciding what we would do. 

Levi and Ian eventually notice my "lulls". It was first brought up with Levi asking me what I wanted the most in the world and I said to be on vacation for a weekend. I hadn't gone on vacation in two years due to financial circumstances with my family, my dad having lost his job of 20 years a couple years back.

Then Levi mentions that his family (middle class like mine but on leaning toward upper middle class) had a cabin in the state just north of hours and says would I be down for going on a vacation and I said yeah that was so nice of him. He says we can plan for the end of the summer (it was late June at this point)

If becomes evident Adam is going on this trip as Levi sends me details of dates and what to bring. I wondered if this was something I really wanted to do as it's been like going to the dentists office Everytime I'm around Adam no matter how hard I try to be his friend, and I want to be his friend.

So the day comes and it's like I should have turned back and ran but I didn't the moment I found out we were traveling all in Adam's car and suddenly 20 minutes in the driving of a 4 hour drive I'm regretting coming. It's like they don't see that I'm being excluded from the conversation or that anytime i mention something Adam brings up something that he, Levi and Ian exclusively do (they always hang out together and Adam keeps mentioning how next Saturday they should do this or that and Levi tries to act dumb and says "Saturday"? And Adam says we always hang out on Saturday. (Adam is making it obvious he wants me to know that they hang out every Saturday without me and it bothers me not that they do but that he's trying to antagonize me with it) 

And then we get to the trip. It's hell. 
Three days of doing things I've never done before but Adam wants to do and it's like Ian and Levi don't see it and remain who they are usually but at the same different people in terms of acting oblivious to Adam's behavior and to me it's like I'm the only one who sees a fire but everyone around me doesn't even smell the smoke.

I try to hide my "lulls" because I know it will upset Adam. I get quiet and try to collect myself during this hellish time and try to be positive but it's too much. A couple times I put on my sunglasses and wipe tears as I pretend to be readjusting them.

Then the day before the last day of the trip I'm in the room I sleep in in the cabin and Adam comes down stairs and says "whats wrong /jillerski?" And I say "what do you mean?" And he sits down and motions me to sit down (on the bed in front of him because there are two beds in the room) 

His exact words "you're like a roller, coaster. You're fun to be around and then ten minutes later you're bringing everyone down." And I'm like "....I'm sorry." I feel bad because in general I hate bothering people. He says "this trip wasn't cheap, and you won't be invited again unless you start getting your act together." And I tell him I'm sorry that I've been feeling down because of my family's economic problems and that sometimes I don't feel good and he said "well just pretend to be happy." "You're starting to bring everyone down and it's ruining the trip for Levi and Ian." And I said ok and I smiled and went outside and saw Levi and Ian sitting in the boat (we were gonna go out for the day) and they are acting like two people who are trying too hard to not act like they knew what went down. And we go out and I pretend to be happy the whole trip and smiles smiles smiles. 

When I get home eventually and I get signal back in my phone (couldn't talk to anyone outside of the 4 of us because I had no signal) I get a text from Ian saying "I hope Adam didn't say anything that bothered you" and I just stopped hanging out with them and maybe I am the asshole for ruining the trip they generously provided. And maybe I'm even a bigger asshole for not hanging out with them ever again.