My bf and I have been together for just short of 2 years now and it’s starting to become more serious. We have plans to move to another state together and we are starting a life. I have never been one to tell a SO that they are not allowed to speak to an ex or not have a friendship with them. But this girl, let’s call her Manda, I just don’t like and she really fucked him over. 

She has an 8 or maybe 9 year old daughter and according to him is a terrible mother, I guess while they were together he developed a strong bond with this little girl bc the mother wouldn’t do shit for her and he kinda just took the daddy role (even though this isn’t his kid). Recently I found out they (him and the little girl) still speak which i honestly at first though was nice. But upon reading these messages it’s mostly him and Manda talking, and most recently he told her something private about my life that I asked him not to share, his excuse was “well you’re a big part of my life and we talk about life”. 
The child is awesome and they seem to have a solid bond, he even mails her gifts and made sure to send birthday wishes and cute things. 

Him and Manda dated a little over a year and he told me he stayed with her bc of the child and the fact that they had nowhere else to go. He moved to another state with her and claims he did it so he could set them up somewhere else and then leave. I guess while they were there among other trashy and hurtful things that she did, she took HIS tent to a festival and had sex with someone else in it (her now 2nd baby daddy) and he left and came back here. 

I see him sending her pictures of her he took, videos of her hooping, and photos of them with the child in recent messages which bothered me. He also tells her things like her new hair looks good or she’s cute in whatever Facebook picture. He keeps saying he only talks to her to maintain an okay relationship so she will let him still communicate with the kid. I feel as though she’s using this to her advantage and I don’t like the stories he’s told me about things she’s done to him, and recently I’ve asked him to stop speaking to her. 

Apparently she is coming to the state for a visit and her excuse for adding our city to her trip is “to spend as much time with _____ as possible” the blank being his sister who I guess is still her friend. He tells me he’s going to see her (and the child) and he’s going to take the kid out for the day etc. I once again flipped and said no that’s not cool, bc I don’t believe it’s just going to be the kid. 

I only heard about this child a few months ago. They were together about a year (and he was in the kids life), I feel like I would have been aware of him and the kid’s relationship sooner if it was so significant. So am I the asshole for asking him to sever ties so we can move on with our lives together? Bc he’s got me feeling like I’m being irrational. 
