So i know we are like nearly a month post-christmas but i have literally been stewing on this since then and I am no closer to figuring out if I am an asshole or not?!

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My partner and I have been together for nearly 3 years(anniversary in March) and he has lived with me in my parents' home since 6 months. He is very well accustomed to how my family operates, what is expected of us on events and how much effort goes into events such as Christmas, Birthdays, etc. I also worked with his Mum (how we originally met) so I know her pretty well and know how their family works and it is very similar to mine. Both of our Mum's put a lot of effort and planning in to events, it's very important to them that everyone has enough food, presents etc. 

Last 2 Christmas' together we have been at my family home for Christmas morning and lunch, and been to his family home for Christmas Evening. This year we discussed and planned as i'm sure all couples do, and we agreed that normally we are still full from a late lunch to eat dinner, so this year we would do breakfast at his rents, and late lunch at mine. 

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We arrived at his family home around 9am and did presents and all of that. We were told we were waiting on another family friend who was coming before we could eat. She arrives at 11am and the food starts coming out after some greetings, Lunch food, not the breakfast I was expecting. We eat, we hang out, we talk and laugh. All is well. It comes to around 1:30pm which is around the time I expected we would be leaving to go to my rents (we usually do late lunch at my place around 2pm, it's the same every year and my partner often jokes about the fact that its always a "late lunch around 2pm"). My partner gets another drink and is showing no sign of being ready to leave. At this point I am getting a bit anxious. I text my Mum and tell her that they can go ahead and eat without us, we might be a bit late. 

My partners Dad starts saying "your Nan said it would be nice if you could go see your Pop today and play a game of pool with him, would that be okay?"

At this point I am ready to cry, my face has started to show my anxiety because my partner keeps looking at me and getting cranky because he can see I am upset. Without consulting me or discussing the situation, he says "yeah it is fine, we will go over there". 

His grandparents only live around the corner so it is not a long trip, but we end up going there and not leaving their hous until 4:30pm. 

My family are furious because they waited all day for us before opening presents and eating food, and had they known we would have been that late they happily would have arranged for Christmas DINNER. AND might I add that when we discussed plans with his Mum, she specifically suggested Breakfast because SHE knew we had late lunch with my fam. 

Not once during the day did he check with me to see what time we had to be at my rents, or if we were doing okay for time or if it was okay we were running late. 

So here we are, a month later, we haven't spoken about it since and I am still mad. I am mad that he had no consideration for my family and the fact they had planned their day around us, I am mad because he had no consideration for me and how I might feel, I am mad especially because I feel as though he knew exactly what he was doing and intentionally put me in that position because he knew I wouldn't say anything in front of his family on the happiest day of the year. 

AM I THE ASSHOLE FOR BEING MAD? 