My gf and I have been together for 3 years, and I have continually wanted to have sex work her whenever I can. Not in gross way, but like, hey we have the house alone today (we're both college students living with our parents), hopefully we can have sex. I see her three to four times a week, however we only have sex about three to four times a month. We don't even do things over the internet sexually anymore like sext or anything. We used to once upon a time but now she just prefers to look at porn when she's not physically with me and when we're together it just feels like pity sex. What really irked me was me asking her to masturbate with her a few nights ago, and her saying no because I hadn't slept very well for a few nights and it was very late (which was true), and her saying she would wait until tomorrow to masturbate with me, and the very next morning I find out she masturbated without me. I wasn't going out of my way to snoop on her, but she decided to take my phone to play Christmas music on the speaker and I have Spotify premium so it was easier so she said to use my phone. I went on chrome on her phone for Reddit, and the most recent tab was a porn tab, so my mind wandered and I checked her browser history and she spent a few hours on porn the night before. 

I don't have any issues with her looking at porn. I personally don't look at porn, I know it's  weird, but I rather just wait for my significant other and be as intimate as I can with them as often as I can. But sure, people like porn because things are appealing to them. Okay. But I just think it's unfair to say "hey, I won't masturbate, you go to sleep" then they go and masturbate anyways? If that were the case, just tell me and I can masturbate to pictures of you all alone :( 

Idk I just think it's strange how often we see each other and considering how long we've been together that our sex life is just so non-existent now. Like sure we'll touch each other when we're physically together then have a few minutes of sex. (not because I came too quickly but because she just wants to stop) I do warm her up. I do go down on her. I do ask her to try new things on bed. I even ask her if she wants me to act out any specific porn or whatever. It's just saddening that I continually ask to masturbate together and for one reason or another, she finds a reason not to. I have spoken to her about it but idk if I'm being too clingy as a bf to her and asking for too much sex. I know she has a sex drive because she admits to looking at porn almost every day for like an hour?! Sorry for the rant I just don't know whether I'm the jerk for wanting more sex time and mutual masturbation time or if she's the jerk. 