Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Throwaway account because some friends are on reddit and might recognize us.

So I have a genetic condition causing a noticable assymetry in my face. When I was younger I used to get very self consious about it and I hated how I look. Since growing up though I realised that my self worth is not only determined by how I look and that I have no reason to be ashamed of something out of my control. I don't feel like my condition influences my relationships with friends and coworkers aside from brief questions when I meet new people.

I have been dating my fiance for 5 years and we plan to get married. Ever since her mother found out that I have a genetic desease she basically hated me and wanted us to break up. She comes from a cultur which puts lots of emphasis on physical appearance. She wanted me to get a consultation about wheter my genetic condition is hereditary and I consented.

I do understand that she wants to know the risk if my fiance and I decide to have children. Lately she has been suggesting me to get a major surgery to reconstruct my face. She even says that she will refuse to come to the wedding if I do not do this. This is something though I categorically refuse. My reasoning for this is the following:

    There are risk just as with any major surgery. Also my self image is obviously tied to how I look now. I might not even like how I look even if in the best case my face came of symmetric without complications.

    If is my body and I feel extremely violated of her (my fiances mother) to suggest this and even urge me to do this by threatening not coming to our wedding.

    I very much doubt her motives. She says it is to improve my self image but if so she should be able to accept if I just do not want to do this. I strongly believe it is only about how her friends and family will think about her. Like how could her daughter marry someonly like me.

My fiance and me have been fighting about this issue a lot. She wants me to at least get a check up for the surgery and I refuse. I don't see the reason why I should get a check up if I do not want to go through with the surgery anyway.

So AITA for refusing to compromise even if my future mother in law will not come to the wedding?
