Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Some backstory to start with... we became really good friends my freshman year of college. We were inseparable and spent a lot of time together. Nick had been with his gf Krista for years at that point, high school sweethearts. I became great friends with both of them, and his gf’s friends. It was a really good first year of college. The next year of school we lived together in an apt. I winded up not getting a bid to his fraternity that year. It was a really big deal for many reasons, but its a long story. To sum things up, it really affected me personally and it changed our relationship. We started hanging out less, and I hated living in our apt which was basically an annex house for the fraternity... living there even though I wasn’t in it.

That year he graduated. We still kept in touch, and 2 years have passed since then. We talk intermittently, but to be quite honest with you I have put more effort in than he has. One weekend he said he was coming to visit, but then the alumni event for his fraternity got cancelled so he didn’t come. I asked him why he couldnt have came just to see me, no response. I texted him happy birthday a few months ago, no response. He didnt text me on my birthday either. I’ve asked him to come up multiple times since. No response. It sucks.

Still, I consider him to be one of my best friends even though we don’t see each other that much. Krista told me while we were in school that he’s never been as close with a friend like me... I was one of his few best friends he’s ever had. The wedding is this summer and I recently got an invitation. I went to the wedding website, and he has 10 groomsmen. None of them are me. He could have at the very least given me a heads up and let me know why that was the situation, but he didn’t. Most of the bridesmaids I was pretty good friends with. His groomsmen... for the most part... are all people I know for a fact he wasn’t that close with. His best man is his cousin and I know they weren’t SUPER close.

I think if I had gotten a bid to the fraternity the relationship would be different. It’s really sad. Its hard to put in perspective why it was a big deal on reddit, but it really was. I don’t think I can show up to the wedding by myself and not be involved. I would be extremely awkward, uncomfortable, and left out. Is it selfish of me to not attend? I just cant ignore how hurt and disappointed I am. 

If I did tell him how I felt, I wouldn’t lash out with anger. I’d just tell him I love you, I wish you and your wife the best, however this is how I feel and I’m not coming

TLDR; Best friend from college has failed to upkeep the friendship with me, but I have tried hard. He invites me to the wedding but doesn’t make me a groomsman even though it seems like it would be a given. Butthurt and disappointed, is it selfish of me to not go entirely?