This happened over a year ago while I was driving with an Ex-girlfriend. This scenario still nags on me and so I decided to share it here.

Karen (Ex's name for the story), my dog, and I were driving early in the morning to a hiking trail in Pasadena, California. It was early Saturday morning so traffic wasn't bad at any part of our hour drive. We get off the highway into a nice suburban neighborhood where the roads are wide, empty. and pretty straight.

As I stop at a red light, I can see far ahead of me the next light, which just turned green. There were also 2 cars waiting in the same line at that light. These two cars were all alone at that cross section. The light was green and yet these two cars were patiently waiting and going nowhere. There was no honking.

My light finally turned green and I grew more curious as I drove towards the two cars. At least a good minute passed since their light turned green, so I couldn't help but see who the two drivers were. I slowly drove on the other line to their left. The car at front was a black BMW and the driver was looking at his phone instead of at the light. The vehicle behind him was an old white truck that needed a good wash. It was carrying all kinds of construction equipment. The truck's driver was a Hispanic man. Mid 40s. His jeans and jean jacket was splashed with white crusted paint and his face was certainly one that has been in the sun for too long. And the expression of that face...was tired calmness.

And that fact baffled me. Here was a moment that justified confronting another person and calling him out. This call to action transcends cultures and generations. No one can defend wasting your time while endangering others by looking at your phone while driving. You are universally the asshole in that case.

As I drove past both motionless cars, I turned to Karen and said something similar to: "I think that Hispanic guy is an illegal immigrant."

Karen was aghast and asked me how I could say such a racist thing. I calmly told her that I did not attack the man's character or say anything negative about his situation in life. If he has to find work in America to survive or support his family, I have nothing but respect for that. I come from an immigrant family myself (Korean), and I still remember the hardships my parents went through while pursuing their education.

After defending my statement, I laid out the clues that led me to my conclusion.

1. The Hispanic man did not honk even though he rightfully could. Suggesting that he didn't want to bring attention to himself.

2, It's possible the car horn didn't work. He still could have switched lanes and drive pass the BMW. Yet he didn't. Suggesting his absolute, almost paranoid, need to avoid possible accidents.

3. It was early morning and he had the clothes and equipment for a working day. It's safe to assume that he didn't have all the time in the world to wait for an irresponsible driver. Yet his honk hand was steady.

4. His age and clothes suggested that of lower economic class with little or no education, or more specifically, no education from the United States. I can easily imagine my dad having done the same sort of work when he first came to the U.S. but he was also young and pursuing his PhD as well. If the Hispanic man was in the U.S. with a Visa, he likely would not be doing this sort of work at his older age. Men at that age doing minimum wage or less is a no-other-choice scenario.

Maybe he is an American citizen or is here legally, but it always goes back to why doesn't he honk then?

Throughout the argument, I kept saying that it was possible that I'm not right, but I felt pretty sure. What irked me was her saying that it was impossible that he's an illegal immigrant because...I don't know.

Anyways we went hiking and only my dog enjoyed everyone's company that day.

So what do you think? Am I the asshole here?