Obligatory “I’m on mobile” preface.

My partner and I are not married, however we have been together for upwards of 6 years now and have started to really get into very serious discussions about the future. I’m 24 and she is in her late 20s for context. I am currently still in school pursuing a professional degree with a future annual income of $200k+ assuming I do decently well in my courses. She has a degree and currently is in a position where she makes &lt;$30k but she is very happy.

I have always been supportive of her career choice as it’s exactly what she wants to do. I have no issues with contributing significantly more to the communal pot and understand that, once married, this is shared money. However occasionally I will talk about the 2 nice rewards I’ve planned for myself after paying off my debt. (Added together they cost &lt;$40k and I don’t see them as unreasonable or unnecessarily spendy in a “just to show I have money” way).

When we discuss these, she always belittles them and tries to steer me away from them, continually asserting that “this is exactly why she will be in charge of the finances”. It irks me but hey, I’ve grown used to it.

What really rubs me the wrong way is that she knows absolutely nothing about finances or anything other than simple depreciation in cars and similar items. Despite this, when I showed her the hotel I wanted to stay in for a honeymoon or big vacation, she said it would be too much and would be a waste of money.  Am I an asshole for feeling really resentful of the way she tells me I will be able to use my future income? Or, in the inverse, is this an indication that I will grow resentful over time if she’s not contributing and still controlling? 

I’ve told her I’m perfectly happy with her being a SAHM if she would like, as she wants several children. She likes the idea but doesn’t want to be responsible for cooking if I end up taking more hours to afford that. I just feel like there’s a lot of take and not much give. She’s so kind and has offered to help pay off my debt with her savings (something I don’t intend to accept whether we’re married or not) but I just feel like it’s been such a sensitive topic when my career path and success thus far should point towards the exciting exotic life I’ve imagined..