This is my first ever reddit post, so sorry if it’s all messed up.  

First, some background: 
Dialogue might be off because this did happen some time ago and I can’t really remember. 
Me=M   BP=B*tch Parent   
G=Daughter of B*tch Parent

So, to begin with, this event happened when I was in the 4th grade. There is a certain event called the Lincoln Lympics for all the schools in my school district (if yk yk). Being a person who was competitive I tried out, and surprisingly, I got in. I was in the 100 yard dash. So I ran in the event and came in a terrible 5th place because I am in no means fast or athletic. I’m a little kid who’s like 4’4 and 50 lbs. When I finish the race I go to my friends but as I’m walking I see this girl  (G) throwing up. I ask her is she is ok but she’s so sick that she doesn’t even acknowledge me (which I completely understand). After I said this, her mom (BP) must’ve heard me and approaches me. Enter, B*tch Parent. 

M: Are you okay?!?
G: *vomits*
BP: DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHES OKAY YOU LITTLE SH*T?
M: No... (irritated)
BP: INSTEAD OF ASKING RETARDED QUESTIONS, WHY DON’T YOU F*CK OFF AND GET MY DAUGHTER A WET TOWEL!!
M: ok? (I was surprised because a complete stranger was ordering me around to do stuff, in a rude way nonetheless, how dare THEE)

So I ran away to get the towel. When I got the towel I was so angry at that woman that I had to get her back. I had the towel and went into a bathroom to wet the towel and ran back to the woman. When I arrived I saw that G had stopped vomiting but was still crying. So with the biggest sh*t face grin, I approach the BP. 

BP: Took you long enough... no wonder you came in last. (I guess she saw me run, also I was 5/6 b*tch)
M: OH, sorry for the wait ma’am, here’s the towel. *extends hand*

BP snatches the towel out of my hand also ripping my arm off (let me remind you that I am very small and fragile) and gives the wet towel to her daughter. I ran away and watched from the distance. G takes the towel... BUT, what BP didn’t know is that I also wiped off a few stains from a toilet bowl with the towel after I wet it. What occurs is the following. G starts to wipe her mouth and suddenly stops. I stare intensely at her with a HUGE sh*t faced grin. G removes the towel and I sh*t you not... ;) ... there is a streak of crap on the top of her lip. She starts crying and IMMEDIATELY starts to throw up again. This girl is like a water fountain of vomit. BP erupts in anger and starts yelling, “I’M GONNA BEAT YOUR F*CKING A*S YOU LITTLE F*CKER”. I quickly hide from BP and for the rest of the event I never see BP or G ever again. 

Endnotes: in retrospect I do think that I did go a little overboard. Lmao thanks for reading though :)