I (24f) share a 4-bedroom apartment with three other women around my age. The apartment has two huge bedrooms and two smaller, but still bigger than average, rooms. One of the smaller rooms is a bit smaller than the other, but not by much. We decided amongst ourselves before move-in that my housemate “Jane” and I would have the small rooms, but never discussed which of us would get the slightly bigger one. It didn’t matter that much to me at the time, and since Jane never brought it up I didn’t think she cared either. Again, the smaller room isn’t that much smaller.

Jane had to work on move-in day, so her mom dropped off some of Jane’s stuff earlier in the day. That morning, I got a text from one of my other roommates saying that Jane’s mom wanted to know which room I preferred so she’d know where to leave everything. I said it didn’t matter to me and that Jane could have her choice.

When I got to the apartment I found Jane’s stuff in the smaller room, so I assumed the bigger room was mine and proceeded accordingly.

Well, it turned out that Jane actually wanted the bigger room. Like, REALLY wanted it. When she arrived at the apartment that night, she asked me over and over if I’d trade with her. I asked her why she hadn’t said anything earlier, and she said that her mom had put her stuff in the smaller room without checking with her, and if she’d been there she would have done differently. I still said no, because by that point I was completely unpacked and moved in, and I really didn’t want to pack everything up again. 

Jane was not happy about this, and has been really cold toward me ever since.

On the one hand, I feel like I gave her many opportunities to let me know in advance which room she wanted, but she chose not to say anything until I’d already moved in. But on the other hand, she seemed to have a much stronger preference than I did, and the only real reason I had for not trading were because it would have been a hassle (and, okay, also because I felt like she was being unreasonable and I didn’t want to give in). But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?