My husbands best friend lives with myself and my husband and our toddler. The dynamic works well as we have known his best friend (let’s call him Tom) since high school. We are all in our late twenties. Tom has been living with us and contributing to the household for a year now. I have no problems with Tom as he is very considerate, tidy and financially contributes to me and my husbands mortgage. 

Tom has fallen hard for a girl he’s been seeing for three months now. She’s nice and admittedly I liked her at the start. Lately however she’s been rubbing me off the wrong way. Her and I are very different, she’s a student who likes to go out and party, and I’m a mom. Our core values are different. Plus we just don’t get on. Superficially we are friendly to each other, but inwardly I know I just don’t like her. It’s not because she’s rude or anything. It’s because she and I have different lifestyles, plus I’m raising a small child, I don’t really want my child around her. She vapes and smokes weed (not around us or at our place) , and I don’t want my child around someone that does that. 

Anyways things came to a head, she is staying every weekend and I am over it. I told my husband to tell Tom that either he ends it with her, or he moves out. My husband became quite defensive telling me that toms girlfriend has done nothing wrong, that Tom is helping tremendously with the mortgage and that I’m the problem here. 

Since my husband wouldn’t have that talk I approached Tom myself. Told him I was seriously unhappy with her being here and that I think it’s time for him to move out. Admittedly he was quite upset. He decided to break up with her, he made it clear to me that it’s not my fault however and that he enjoys staying with us and will continue doing so for awhile. 

However my husband had a seperate chat to him, and Tom confessed to being miserable now that he’s stopped seeing this woman. I have empathy, but at the same time, I feel this is my family home, I shouldn’t be made to feel like this in my own home. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to give him the option to move out or not be with her. So AITA ? 

TDLR; asked my flatmate to move out or break up with his gf. 