For context, my parents are divorced and I am in my early 20s and in college.  

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to my 14 year old dog whom I loved dearly.  She was my dog at my dad’s house and the first dog I ever trained and took care of myself.  After saying my final goodbyes to her I was very upset and was crying.  My mom knew my dog was being put to sleep and that I had to say goodbye to her.  I went to my moms house since I was on her side of town and I haven’t been able to visit recently due to being busy with work and school.  As soon as my mom saw that I was crying she looked at me and said, “Oh stop it.” in the most dismissive tone.  I simply replied, “Fuck you.” and turned around and walked out of her bedroom.  I stayed at her house for 3 hours after that to see my little sisters and my mother never even bothered to leave her room to say anything to me.  

She had my sister tell me she wanted me to go talk to her in her room upstairs and I said, no and that I was not talking to her until she came to apologize to me for being rude.  I left without saying anything else to my mom and went back to my apartment.

Today my mom called me and told me that I needed to apologize to her for being so rude yesterday.  I said, I wouldn’t because she was so dismissive of my feelings and unsupportive of me first.  She responded by saying that I didn’t support her when her dad (my grandpa) passed away 3 years ago.  I told her I wasn’t going to argue about this with her and ended our phone call.

Within an hour, she texted me and told me that all I do is take advantage of her and treat her like shit.  I replied and said, “You know that’s not true.”.

I don’t think I treat my mom like shit, I call her at least 3 times a week and try to meet with her on her lunch break at least once a month.  I still partially rely on her financially while I am in college and I am certain this is why she claims i’m “taking advantage” of her.  I feel like she is trying to control me with money, but I am not financially stable enough yet to completely support myself. 

Am I the asshole here?  All I wanted from her was an ounce of sympathy and instead she completely dismissed my emotions and hurt my feelings because I was upset over my dog.