Dating two years, moved in together 6 months ago. As a single guy, I had piles of laundry, dishes, papers, etc but always got to cleaning them up on my first day off. Now it’s like a competition between the two of us as to how long before one of us is repulsed enough to do something. Here’s our situation:

Me: I make twice as much money as her, so I pay for every bill for the household (rent, gas, electric, internet, etc.) and food every other week. I work 12 hour days 4 days per week with 3 day weekends.

Her: makes very little money plus has some debt from college and bad decisions. Pays for food every other week. Works 30 hours/week, but usually only has 1 day off. Lots of split shifts and half days. Also taking online classes for a certificate. 

Chores: We usually work together cooking the meals for the week ahead of time. The dishes are usually piled up until the next week when we need to cook again. I use the same 3 containers taking food to work for 4 days, usually paper plates and a water bottle and beer cans on my weekend. She comes home for lunch, leaves cups of soda out each night. What I’m saying is I think she makes more dishes.

Chores (cont.): She does laundry almost every day. She has required outfits for each day that definitely cannot go 2 days without washing. She throws my clothes in with hers because it doesn’t make much sense to wash just her outfit alone each day.

Chores that pile up: trash is overflowing before someone takes it out. Dishes pile up. No sweeping, dusting, or mopping so far except once for her family’s Christmas at our house and I did it today. Bathroom is never cleaned.


TL;DR- Am I the asshole for expecting the person who doesn’t contribute financially (and probably makes more messes) to help around the house more though I have more free time.