Hey everyone,

Sorry in advance if this is long, it's a bit weird to explain. I ask that everyone is honest with me here, as I would really like to resolve this issue and obviously if I did something wrong I should apologise. I could really use some objective third party advice here.

My bf, D (23M) and I (21F), and I have a friend, S (20F). She is his best friend and they dated briefly almost 2 years ago but decided they are better as friends. I want to preface all of this by saying she is absolutely not the problem. She is always very respectful of our relationship and I think she is a good friend for D. They have known each other for about three years. 

When D introduced us, we instantly got along. I knew about her through the grapevine already before I even met D and I had a little bit of a girl crush on her. She's beautiful and very sweet, a literal angel. I love her to death and am very protective over her.

D and S had irreconcilable differences that made it clear they are not good together for a relationship. I have never had even an inkling of doubt that he would cheat on me or still has feelings for her or anything. She was the last person he dated before me and it's been a long time since then. I don't want anyone thinking this issue has something to do with him having feelings for her or anything like that. Trust me, I have been cheated on multiple times and know the signs and gut feelings and all of that. 

Also, for the most part, me and D have a great relationship. We're both child-free, have been together for almost a year and he was my best friend for a year before that. We live together in a very cute one bedroom apartment which me moved into recently in December. We split everything 50/50, I go to school full time for Finance and work at a very prestigious country club in our area, and he is a professional musician. We both make good money and support ourselves (I do get a little bit of help from my mom with paying for school and medical stuff and the like since I'm unable to work full time during school). I am very happy with him and generally enjoy our relationship.

We do however have our issues like every other couple. The main one is communication which we try to work on every day. I try to work on keeping my tone calm and not yelling and also bringing things up at appropriate times, and he works on not shutting down and getting mean and aggressive. One of the arguments we had recently ended with him telling me he wanted me to be more direct about what I want and just coming out and saying it instead of hinting or beating around the bush.

The other night we hung out with S for the first time in a few months. She is very busy and although they talk for an hour or so once a week-ish on the phone, neither of us see her very often. I text Snapchat and call her regularly as well and consider her a close friend. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. Immediately, I guess D could see something was wrong with her, and started asking her repeatedly to tell him. I could tell she didn't want to talk about it and kept trying to change the subject and hoping he would get the hint. She told him over and over again that she didn't want to talk about it, it wasn't a big deal, etc. and I was starting to feel VERY awkward and uncomfortable being in the middle of this situation and was getting quite anxious (I have chronic anxiety that I have seen a therapist for).

When she went to take a bathroom break I decided to do what he asked the last time we argued and be honest and direct. I told him I know he means well and isn't trying to be an ass but he is putting both of us in a really uncomfortable position by continuing to ask her what's wrong. She probably doesn't want to talk about it in a public place and he could always talk to her about it privately. She'll talk to him when she's ready, all that stuff. I didn't even make it about myself and my feelings, because I didn't think that was as important as there not being weirdness between the two of them, and that was the only source of my discomfort, so if that was resolved I'd be okay. 

Throughout the conversation he was being extremely argumentative and snappy saying he knows her better than me and that he knows if he just coaxes it out of her she'll tell him. He was upset that she picked a Starbucks because they wouldn't be able to talk there. I told him she likely picked the location on purpose because she wanted to just be chill today and not get into heavy stuff since it was the first time they'd gotten to hang out in a while. He got very angry when I said this and said he didn't ask for my advice, he's known her longer than me, and I'm butting in where it's not my place. 

He was quiet and moody the rest of the night and when we headed home he was silent. I brought it up again in the car because I felt the issue was unresolved and didn't want us to go to bed without fully discussing it. We argued the whole way home and he stood his ground that I should have basically sucked it up and not said anything because she's mainly his friend and he knows her better. I didn't understand why he was upset since I was doing what he asked by being honest and direct without being mean.

So honestly, am I the asshole here? I know people shouldn't give unsolicited advice and believe in the "nobody asked" rule. I don't like people giving me unsolicited advice and although I typically try to refrain from doing so (unless I think it's absolutely necessary, i.e. I think a person is actively going to ruin their life or get hurt or something if I don't give them advice) I thought since this situation involved me and I kind of had to sit there and feel uncomfortable by all of it, and I didn't think it was fair for him to put S or me in that situation, I had a right to say something.

&amp;#x200B;

Thanks in advance for any advice; it's all appreciated! I'm always trying to better myself as a person, so any input on how I can be a better person and girlfriend, and improve communication between me and my bf, is welcome. Also, I will answer any additional questions if needed! 