So this happened last night and my ex is going around telling everyone I hurt her and I’m fuming, but I will try to be as objective as possible.

A few months ago I ended things because I had just slowly realized I was not in love with her. She took it really hard and since the break up she has belittled me, said terrible things, trash talked me to other people, etc. I’ve mostly taken it because I know the breakup was much harder for her and I was just waiting for her pain/anger to subside. We are both in a really tight knit friend group of a few guys and girls (18-19yo) that hangout a lot. She has said many times she cannot be around me and she cannot be friends with me it’s just too hard. It’s obvious she’s having trouble, and I see that. However, whenever our friends hangout she is now extremely toxic towards me making passive aggressive comments and actively dampening the mood consistently.

Now for the incident. We were all hanging out and drinking at our friends place, and my ex makes multiple passive aggressive comments towards me, one relating to our past sex life, and two just regular passive aggressiveness. At those point I’m completely fed up and I’m just trying to have fun but there’s just such a toxic vibe with her. Finally she makes one more comment and I break deciding to say something back along the lines of “this is really embarrassing for you right now to act like this in front of everyone, I know it’s because you have low self-esteem but come on”. Then she gets up from the couch we are sitting on, she walks over to me and starts shaking me by the shoulders saying “go fuck yourself” and “you have no right to say things like that about me”. I then take her shoulders too and move her away from me, only leaning forward from my seat, not getting up. Then she starts bawling saying I grabbed her really hard and there were red marks(there weren’t) and she’s scared of me and she needs to leave because I’m going to hurt her. So then the whole night is ruined because she’s crying and really upset, which is not all that uncommon for her to start crying and moping while we hang out. Now, as I said, she’s telling people that I hurt her when all I did was remove her from my personal vicinity, probably squeezing her shoulders pretty hard but not pushing or doing anything violent in my mind.

Now most of my friends are on my side but others and her friends think that I was really aggressive and went too far. I just want to hear an outside opinion, AITA?

