Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Background, I'm 25, my sister is 30 and her partner is also 30. Obviously, my sister is a lesbian. I am also gay (how lucky are our parents haha) We are extremely close, always have been, she's always been there for me and want the best for her. So my sister got married to her partner last year. I'm obviously happy for them and hope they achieve everything they want together, but recently I got caught in a dilemma. During a dinner I was invited to, big sis told me that she wants to start a family, and asked me to donate sperm so they could get pregnant (I'm just gonna emphasise here, the sperm would be going into my sister in-law, NOT my sister). To her this was the best idea, since this way their baby would have both their genes, just a roundabout way of ensuring that they're both biologically related to the kid. She went on about how this'll be perfect and how she'd be so grateful if I helped her, I think in her mind, I of course would say yes.. but I'm really, uncomfortable with the whole idea. I thought about it intensely overnight, and I hate it. 

It's not that I don't want her to have kids or think she shouldn't. She'd be a great mom, but, I also have a huge desire to have kids one day. I really wanna be a dad, and the thought of being the father of a child that is being raised by another couple, while I'm just left with the status of uncle.. really hurts. If I'm gonna father a child, I wanna be 100% involved in the kids life, I wanna experience fatherhood, in all its ups and downs, that's my dream. I know it sounds silly and also counters the whole gay thing, trust me I had huge issues with accepting my sexuality because of that, but that's how I feel. And I know I could donate sperm now and still have children of my own later on, I'd probably say yes to her request if I already had a kid, but I don't. I might never have the chance to be a dad in my life, since adoption is a strict, lengthly and expensive process, and surrogacy isn't legal in my country (but ivf for lesbian couples is). Its probably a bunch of stupid reaaons, but to me, never having children hurts less than having a child that I won't be a dad to. 

So, I said no to her, and it pretty much blew up in my face. She's calling me selfish and unreasonable. I explained how I feel but she's accusing me of being jealous of her, of internalised homophobia, and pretty much denying her a family. She's really upset with me and I hate making her cry like that. I'm sure she didn't mean a lot of what she said, but I guess the parts about me being selfish and unreasonable are kinda true, since, I have an infinite supply of sperm and can still have kids and she only needs a sample. Maybe I am just being an unreasonable dick for rejecting her in her time of need and after all she's done for me. Logically I think I should put my feelings aside..

Am I just being an unreasonable asshole here?