Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Awesome sub here. I’ve been struggling with this one for the past year or so, could use some input. Throwaway account.



A few years ago, my mom divorced my stepdad. Out of the blue. Now this is really unlike her. She got through business school while taking care of my and my bro and sis. She eventually bought a house and they lived well. Keep in mind, owning a home was her dream her whole life.

Anyway, I lived in Oregon at the time. She in Oklahoma. Out of nowhere I hear that she has taken off with a random guy she knew from her childhood, who has been known as an ex-meth-head. She take a road trip from OK to OR to see me and my bro. My stepfather, who she was still married to, just woke up with her gone with one of their cars.

Immediately I felt like things weren’t right. It’s not that she is acting much differently, it’s just that maybe she seems a bit more...childish. It’s one thing to make a trip to see your son, it’s another to do so with a guy who lost his teeth from meth. Whom I have never met. I can’t tell if she is on drugs, she seems ‘normal’ aside from her very not normal actions. 

Since then, I’ve just sort of...ghosted her I guess. She’ll call every now and then and I’ll talk to her for a bit. But lately I’ve been ignoring her calls. She is living with that guy she took the trip with. She has a masters degree in business yet hasn’t had a job for 2 years since she just up and left my (ex) stepfather and my sis in OK. She says she has been looking for a job, that bills get right but they’re ‘surviving’. 

I’ve made a point to cut contact with family members who are assholes. My dad is an asshole and I have no problem not communicating with him. He’s done egregious things like steal from my grandfather, use my brother’s name for credit cards and other fun stuff. 

But with my mom it’s just, all the signs point to some sort of either drug abuse or mental instability. She isn’t asking for money, she is overrall cheerful on the phone when we do talk. We used to be best friends. I grew up in a trailer park and she worked all the time as a nurse, made sure education was the number 1 priority for me and my brother. I owe a lot of my constitution to her.

But I feel like I am so far away from that side of life that I grew up in and I want no part of it. I’m putting myself through college. I share an apartment with a wonderful gf. We make good money. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t want my future kids seeing all this stuff from their own grandmother. Perhaps it’s even a little bit of shame for explaining my mother’s actions to my friends and gf. Despite how much I care for her, I simply don’t want her around this life I had built. 


TLDR am I the asshole for ghosting my mom for non-conclusive/personal reasons?