 This is my first time posting to reddit and I am using a throwaway to remain anonymous…

Sorry for the long introduction, I just feel like having some background on the nature of our relationship would be helpful. Please feel free to skip my rambles to the tl;dr

About 5 months ago I (23F) started talking to this guy (25M) I met on tinder, who I’ll call TG (for tinder guy). We hit it off and after a few weeks of hanging out became friends with benefits. This lasted around 4 months before I started to develop feelings. I believe it is important to be honest about these things so I told him how I was feeling right when I realized. I told him he had no obligation to feel the same way, but that I wanted to know where his head was at so I didn’t spend my time pining for a guy just to have my heart broken. To me, getting rejected was a lot easier and simpler when my feelings were still pretty new and not that deep. TG told me that he appreciated my honesty and enjoyed hanging out with me but he saw me as more of a friend than a girlfriend. Getting rejected obviously hurt, but that was the response I was expecting. I told him that I respected that but that I needed some time before we could start being friends and he agreed. Overall, we ended things on pretty good terms.

With the exception of him sending a few drunk 3 am texts asking for sex (that despite the temptation, I didn’t respond to), we didn’t communicate and we live far enough away that I never had to run into him in public.

During the time when we were fwb, TG mentioned that he was looking for jobs in the finance industry and I told him my dad is the VP of a pretty large finance company. (For anyone who thinks he used me to get to my dad: we met randomly on tinder, I have a pretty common last name, and we had already been hooking up for a few weeks when I told him).

After about a month after we ended things, I get a text from TG during waking hours asking if I could put in a good word for him with my dad for a job at the company my dad works at. My dad has nothing to do with interviewing/hiring employees, but obviously a recommendation from the company’s VP would be a major advantage. I told TG that I did not feel comfortable doing that. TG then accused me as being vindictive and that I was trying to punish him for not wanting to be my boyfriend. My dad has no idea that TG exists, I have never posted anything with him or about him on social media and I don’t tell my father about the guys I casually hook up with. If I was telling my dad that TG was a terrible person who he shouldn’t hire, then I would 100% understand that I would be the vindictive asshole… but I’m not doing anything like that. TG is in a no better or worse situation from knowing me.

The part that makes me feel like an asshole is that if TG was my boyfriend, I would ask my dad to recommend him in a heartbeat. So its not like I’m on some moral high ground where jobs should only gotten solely on the basis of merit. Ideally, that would be the case, but I understand in the real world (especially the finance world), who you know matters. TG is a good guy who I know is qualified and I would be happy for him if he got the job, but I just don’t want to ask my dad do to this for him. Does that make me the asshole?

**tl;dr** for not asking my dad to recommend my former fwb for a job.