My wife (W) &amp; I have an 8 month old son (B). He's our first, &amp; the first grandkid for W's parents.


W is an artist and has returned to work already. Not a financial decision, my income would more than enough to support us.


MIL is retired &amp; has volunteered to watch the B regularly. The schedule varies but I'd estimate MIL watches the B 2x a week for 3-5 hours a time. We appreciate her help, &amp; tell her so.


B can now crawl, &amp; gaining speed daily.


Yesterday, W came home from work, MIL was Babysitting. When W arrived home the door was unlocked &amp; as she walked in the door she could hear from the 2nd floor that the vacuum was running. She went down the hall &amp; could see into the living room, where the B is sitting in the middle of the room playing with a toy, our 70 lb dog laying on the couch about 5 feet away.


W sat with the B for what she estimates was 3-4 minutes, then MIL turned off the vacuum &amp; came down.


W was stunned, &amp; didn't know what to say. W asked MIL what she had been doing, &amp; MIL replied that she had gone upstairs to get the B some socks. When pressed about why the vacuum was running she said that she had noticed that the carpet upstairs could use a vacuum, MIL saw hair in the carpet as a choking hazard. W told MIL that we don't leave the B alone with the dog, you never know what could happen even with a pet you trust. MIL agreed that her action wasn't a good idea, but defended her actions saying she had only gone upstairs for a minute.


Later W relayed this story to me. W wasn't quite sure how to deal with the situation. W felt that the dog being in the room was only 1 reason why it isnt safe to leave B alone, especially if you can't hear what is happening because a vacuum is on. 


W called MIL later that evening to voice our full concerns. MIL got upset. More sad than angry, but her side was "give me some credit, I already raised 2 of my own children, I wouldn't leave him in any danger &amp; I was only gone for literally a minute". W reiterated that we appreciate the support &amp; we know she is capable of Babysitting or we wouldnt have her do it. W changed the way she was explaining our it, moving away from "this is something obviously dangerous that should not be done" to "we are his parents, it's our choice &amp; we would like all caregivers, MIL &amp; any other family member to respect it.


MIL agreed, but out of respect for our choice, not  recognition that what she did was dangerous. She's strong willed  &amp; has ignored our instructions on smaller issues. The conversation did end with her agreeing to follow our wishes, she thinks we are being too hard on her &amp; should appreciate her more. She didn't come out &amp; call us TA, but gave that vibe. 


W feels guilty &amp; feels that maybe we are being too hard on her, with all the stuff MIL has going on in her own life (dealing with the death of her father about 6 weeks ago). I feel like W was clear &amp; concise, &amp; is simply being a parent looking out for the safety of her kid.


AWTA?