Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : So I made a throwaway account because I really don’t want my wife finding this. I am a lesbian (38F) who was raised by extremely homophobic parents. They were Catholics and would often lecture me on the dangers of homosexuality, banned me from seeing my gay friends, etc. When I was a teenager they caught me kissing my girlfriend at the time because I got careless and left my door open, and they immediately kicked her out of the house and would not let me see her any more.

Since then I’ve had to convince them that it was just a phase, otherwise I would be written out of the will and most likely disowned. I have no other family except my sister, but she’s 11 years younger than me and at the time would not have been able to help as she was still basically a child. So, I did something a bit regrettable. I married my best friend from high school. He was straight, which was a bit of a red flag, but at the time I didn’t really question it because we were very close and I would have done pretty much anything for him. The agreement was that our marriage would be completely platonic and for convenience’s sake, and that we could pursue relationships outside of it. 

So 10 years pass, and in that time I get a girlfriend, who I’m still with to this day. She moved in with us, and wasn’t too happy about the situation, but got along well with my husband so she accepted him as a weird kind of roommate. 

Then my husband comes out as transgender. 

It was a huge shock, as she (I’ll be using she from now on) had never really discussed this with me before, or given me any indication that she didn’t identify as a guy. She’d always been quite masculine (not to stereotype) and was into typical male things like football. Again, I don’t mean to be transphobic here at all, I’m just emphasising my point at how much I didn’t see this coming. Anyway, she tells me that she wants to start transitioning, which is a bit of a problem because my parents would not accept that. I suggested that it might be a good idea for us to get divorced now, but for some reason she refused. This was the point when I started to realise that she might have actual romantic feelings for me. She’d never really shown interest in finding anyone else, and often wanted to do things like cuddle with me, even kiss me on the cheek and things like that, but I’d always thought that was because we were such close friends. Anyway, I tried to insist, but she told me that my safety means more to her than transitioning. I think this is ridiculous and I don’t want to let her do that, because dysphoria is no joke. I think she’s hoping that I’ll magically become attracted to her and want to be together for real, but that just isn’t going to happen. I only see her as a friend. I want what’s best for her, which I believe is for us to divorce so she can get on with her life, but I feel bad forcing her into that when she’s done so much for me. 

AITA???