Hey all.

A week ago, my girlfriend and I hung out with two of her girl friends. We are all sixteen. 

We spent the whole day together, playing mario kart, getting food, having a good time. I had to go home at midnight. but my girlfriend was talking about how her friend, (let’s call him D, for douchebag) was going to sneak into her house at 1. When she first talked about it, my whole mood changed.

I trust my girlfriend with everything, but I do not trust D. Sure, we are all mutual friends, in fact, D is quite fond of me. The thing is, a month prior, me, D, my girlfriend, and two other friends were hanging out, and I repeatedly saw D staring at my girlfriends caboose. I told her about this, and she started defending him. She did the whole, “I’m not saying you’re wrong, but are you sure you really saw what you think you did?” Yeah, didn’t feel too good. 

A week prior to this, I had told her how her sneaking him into her house made me feel super uncomfortable. My argument was if she can’t sneak me into her house, she shouldn’t sneak another dude. She didn’t really fully listen to my argument, because she said “It’s just what WE DO, it’s what our friend group has always done!”

So, Saturday night comes around and they sneak D in. He brought a dab pen and a Juul. They hang out, and he left at 5. On the drive home, I damn near had a mental breakdown. I felt like I was having a heart attack, and knowing that D having a dab pen with my girlfriend and being a horn-dog was a recipe for disaster. Was the thought of that kid fucking around with my girlfriend plausible? Possibly. Was it my anxieties getting the best of me? Most likely, but regardless, I shouldn’t be put in that situation anyways.

Sunday morning comes around, and she could tell something was wrong because I didn’t talk to her once I got home, I just gave her a “goodnight” which I never do. 

I tell her the way she made me feel was the worst I had ever felt. The sole fact that she would sneak a dude that isn’t me into her house made me uncomfortable as it is, let alone

1. He had weed with him (he had her hit the dab pen, this makes me mad at him, not her, in this case).
2. If they got caught, she wouldn’t be able to hang out with me at least until 2019
3. He’s a horn dog who I have seen staring at her ass
4. If I ever snuck a girl with weed into my house, she would have a goddamn epiphany

She started by trying to defend D, saying “Oh it’s just what we do, and D is a very good friend of mine.”

I kept detailing how shitty it made me feel, and she realized she fucked up. She began crying and profusely apologizing. She said she was sick with herself. I told her I didn’t mean to make her feel that way, but I was not okay with what she did and I needed to tell her. She cried more, and got off of her phone. We FaceTime later and talk about it for 4 hours. It was less of an argument, and more of a debate, because while this pissed me off monumentally I am pretty good at not starting an “argument”. 

She eventually admits that she knows what she did was wrong, but she didn’t at the time. She then goes on to tell me that she doesn’t usually care what happens to her, and she always tries to put her friends first, because she hopes it will make her happier. I believe she may have been trying to guilt trip me? I don’t know, but I said “I’m sorry you feel that way, I really am, but the risk she took that night risked our entire relationship and that is not an okay risk to take. She keeps apologizing, and I keep saying that I accept her apology, but we will have a real problem if that happens again.

So here we are now. After many days of being angry with each other, we are back to normal and ready for Christmas. 

I still feel a little shaken up over it, and I never really got an apology for what she did, just for how it made me feel.

I’m not going to push her about it anymore unless it happens again. It was our first big argument, and I don’t want that to happen again.

Tell me what you think.


TLDR; Girlfriend sneaks a guy friend into her house in the dead of night against my wishes, I tell her how that made me feel, she starts self deprecating and making me feel bad, whilst also apologizing for the wrong thing, and we argue. 