Together for four-plus years. 31m, 30f. 

I'll say up front that the complicating factor here is that her parents told her about five weeks ago that they are getting divorced. After forty years! I can't even imagine the thought process going through her dad's head here.

This coming summer, we have her friend's wedding in another state that's close to her state and far away from the state we live in together. That is something I committed to and I will go there. Now, however, she just told me that we need to go spend time in her state afterwards so she can see her friends, she wants me to be there for the first time she has to actually see her parents. 

This is an issue because she is a teacher but I am not. She's just "off" for this time - she doesn't have to take any vacation time and her work does not pile up. I don't have that particular luxury, and if I did, I really, really want to spend my vacation time traveling internationally instead of to her home state. 

(I admit this is a "me" thing - I spent a week and a half there during winter, too, and it is just godawful boring and terrible. I do it because I love her but I hate it.)

So here is the logic: "I want to see my friends in my home state" --&gt; "If I don't go see my parents while I'm there, they will be angry" --&gt; "I want you to be there the first time I see my parents after they've told me they're getting divorced". And it's worth noting that she brought up "we always see YOUR family" because they live much closer to us - we see them probably ten times a year on weekends. 

I feel trapped by her logic. Am I the asshole? 