It was my girlfriends birthday party today, which consisted of me, my girlfriend and 6 other friends. We decided to eat at a ramen restaurant, which is relatively cheap, around $6-$15 dollar meals. *(This will be important later)*

During the planning phase, we decided to make two group chats, one that included my girlfriend and one without. So we could discuss gifts/plans etc. One friend brought up the idea of a small gift, the consensus was  a gift that everyone would have to pitch in $3-4 dollars for.

Now, one of the friends in our group is notoriously cheap. She is in a complicated financial situation, she does have a full time job but doesn’t pay rent or bills since her boyfriend does all of that, so basically she just saves and spends on the “necessities.”

*Here’s a segment of the convo from the chat:* 

Friend 1: So is $3-4 alright with everyone for a gift?

Cheap friend: No that’s too expensive for me, you guys can still buy it though.

Friend 2: Its literally only $3 per person if we all split.

Cheap friend: Fine I’ll pay for a bit of it, but I’m not gonna chip in for anything else.

Me: I can pay for your share no worries (cheap friend.)

Friend 1: Okay I’m gonna go to the store to look for it.

Cheap friend: Make sure it’s CHEAP.

Friend 1: Ok.

We all thought this was kinda rude because she does have some money to spare, and my girlfriend does a lot for her. Such as driving her to work for free, picking up groceries sometimes. She feels like she wasn’t gonna expect any gifts but the fact that she wouldn’t even throw in $3 upset her.

I picked up the tab for myself and my girlfriend and two giant desserts for everyone to share. I told everyone to eat up. Our cheap friend picked up a fork then put it down and announced “I won’t be eating any because I don’t wanna pay.” We all were silent but it’s kinda annoying that she’s focused so much on the cost of everything.

I feel bad that I told my girlfriend a secret conversation but I feel like since it was kinda crappy I should tell her anyway rather than wait for another friend to tell her way later on.

Am I the asshole here Reddit?