Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST :  

Some background info: I (F/23) moved out of my childhood home nearly ten years ago due to my stepfather being abusive and my mother (49) refusing to believe this despite me trying to convince her over and over. We’ve had little to no contact during these years and the times we’ve spoken it’s only ended in quarreling (she still insists I’m lying; and I’m obviously fed up from being told it’s all bullshit). I’ve since also changed my legal name in an attempt to distance myself from this abusive past.

Anyway, I met my mom for the first time in two years a week or so ago, and it seems she’s changed her mind on my story being all lies. She told me for the first time that she believes me, but it’s only after me prying for that answer, so I’m not quite sure she actually does and it's not her pulling at straws.

Then today. I had a panic attack for the first time in a while, after re-starting medication for anxiety and other things, and since my mother has a history of panic disorder I thought I’d bury our battle axe and try reaching out to her for mother-daughter advice. So I call and tell her what's up. She gives me some advice but then tells me it hurts hearing I’m hurting. I apologize and say I didn’t mean to make her sad with me; in which she just becomes more agitated. I realize we’re heading for another fight so I thank her for the advice and hang up.

She then immediately messages me going on about how she's against me taking pills, and I (fed up by now) tell her they're the only thing that kept me from taking my life back when I was a teenager, in which she says me mentioning suic\*de was a low blow and on top of that, bullshit.

I respond saying it was a mistake asking her for help, and she agrees.

THEN, a while later after me not replying, she messages me again calling me by my birth name. I ask what she means by that (she knows I dislike it) and she says it's what I was named, and it will always be my name.

I blocked her after that, because it’s clearly to spite me. And now I’ve given up. It’s been nearly a decade, she still lives with my abuser, and I can’t get through to her. So I’m planning to cut ties once and for all. I sort of feel bad about it, because she’s obviously not mentally healthy either. She tells me she’s afraid to go outside her house, she has no job, yet refuses every sort of help from the government etc., and I’m tired of trying to encourage her to take it. She tells me I'm her only "happiness" in life, but I feel she loves the kid I used to be back when we lived together, not the adult I am now.

So, AITA for giving up on her? Or is it my duty as her daughter to try to help her out of that place, or should I for her sake simply pretend I DID lie about the abuse, since she's apparently too weak mentally to ever handle the truth? I honestly don't know.