Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : When someone doesn't live in the same city as I do, to the point where I can regularly spend time with them in person, I mostly stop hanging out with them and interacting with them over digital messaging platforms.   


I've had a few friends call me out on this, saying that I don't respond to their messages and text back and that I'm a shitty friend. When they say this I usually just apologize and tell them that I'm pretty overloaded with stuff and replying takes a lot of mental effort for me. I tell them that I care about them, and if they really needed something I'd be there for them, but that I don't want to spend time messaging online and that it doesn't really work with how my brain focuses.  


I don't work well with this idea of being in constant contact with people. I don't like using messaging apps for anything other than planing to meet up with someone in person. I don't have a lot of patience for small talk. I don't find it meaningful or fulfilling. My job involves either constantly interacting with people, managing conversations, and building/maintaining relationships or it involves deep, intellectual, isolating work,  neither of which make it easy to catch up with people on background during the work, and by the end of the day I'm pretty spent socially. I tend to work all my waking hours, and when I'm not working I'm spending time with people in the city.   


I have a good, strong set of friends and I make friends easily with new people. People generally think I'm a pretty nice, kind person.  


It's bothered me for a while that I've gotten this feedback from other people. Is it fair for them to ask for this from me? I understand they want more from me, but shouldn't it be okay that I simply can't give them that and that it's not what I want for myself? Am I doing them wrong by letting this happen? 