Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : From the top...Wife has scheduled the birthday party for memorial weekend (to provide for more time together, especially for those that have to travel). Incidentally parents are leaving for vacation to Italy, first time to Europe/out of country, the following weekend. Which they have been planning for probably 6+ months now. 

In my wife's defense she claims there are undertones of not showing up for things. I would argue it goes both ways.  We used my (and some of my mom's) airline points to fly mom and grandma into town for our baby shower. We ended up not heading down (5 hours drive) for brothers graduation (wife was 8 months pregnant) where whole family (my side) was present. We did travel down the previous weekend for her sisters baby shower. 

The next bit is important, for context as it puts more importance upon every baby related event. Dad missed still born birth of first child, albeit I believe he was going to come down for a funeral service because he wanted to be there for that, which didn't end up happening. This is the one that really sets the undertone as my wife believes dad will fully missed, where as I believe it to be a miscommunication to our plans to remember. Doesn't help that we've never talked about it. 

Am I the asshole for not being annoyed, and conciquently not sticking up for my family, with my parents for not being able to make it to said birthday party? 