First and foremost, I'm twenty-three. My mom has had severe depression to the point where it's a genuine illness for years, and she also likely has an undiagnosed behavioral disorder (based on professional opinions from doctors). Additionally, she had a stroke a couple of years ago, which further messed with her emotions and sullied her judgement. She's a very good person, and I love her very much. We have a pretty great relationship, and usually spend about an hour or two a week talking on the phone. She's one of the few people in the world I actually seek out time with.

That being said, since I graduated high school at nineteen and therefore no longer needed her for parenting purposes, she's continued to parent me, and she treats me as though I were about sixteen or seventeen (that is to say, not needing to monitor my whereabouts constantly but still parenting me in other ways). I've been moved out with a job for several years now. My dad, who is mentally sound, has treated me like an adult for the most part since I hit eighteen, with some exceptions since I was still living with them, and once I graduated, he considered me a full-fledged adult. My mom was pretty much emotionally absent during my teenage years, and my dad believes that she is now trying to "make up for it" by parenting me and "behaving like a family". He lets me divulge information as I'm comfortable with doing so, and doesn't ask for more information than is needed. My mom, however, demands information. For example, recently, my doctor insisted I quit my job immediately for medical reasons, and so I did. I was very upset about this, of course. My parents and I trade the car back and forth, and I told my dad that he could have the car for a bit while I figured some stuff out. He was fine with this, and just said okay, for which I was grateful because I didn't want to talk about it. My mom was confused and asked why, saying she didn't understand what was going on. She asked my dad if I'd told him anything. He said no. She asked if he thought to probe about it. He said no, that I'm an adult and will tell him if I so choose. She got upset with my dad (they're going through a divorce and she is always mad at him), said that wasn't how family behaved, and called me, asking what was going on. I reluctantly explained, and she started lecturing me. I told her very firmly that I love her very much and I know she's speaking because she loves me, but that I am not a child anymore, and that as an adult, I am allowed to set boundaries, and that she is crossing them, and to please stop parenting me. She got very upset about this. Please note that this is just once instance of many. We haven't talked about it since then.

I still wonder if I did the right thing. My dad thinks I did, and said "good for you!" when I told him about it. I don't know, though. What do you think? AITA?