Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : I [22f] am a SAHM to my one year old and three year old. My husband [27m] owns a business and works mostly outside of the home. He works by himself so he is usually very chatty when he gets home. It used to be fine but I’m burned out by the time he gets home now.

I’m having an issue with the fact that he will come home and unload his whole day on me within minutes of walking through the door. I just can’t handle it. I’ve been alone with toddlers all day. When he comes home I don’t want to hear about all these problems. I really don’t want to hear about anything at all. I need some time and space. 

The main problem is that what he has to say is mostly complaints. About whatever may have happened that day. Sometimes he’s doing a frustrating job and it gets worse. It’s too much to listen to when I don’t have the mental capacity for it. And because it’s business related, and his business is our livelihood, it starts giving me anxiety hearing about the issues. Sometimes he’ll take work calls in front of me, for what seems like no reason. Like he’ll be in the kitchen, get a phone call, come to the living room in the middle of my show just so I have to hear the call?

I bring this up, voice my concerns, and it goes right back the next day. Usually he’ll start, I’ll cut him off and say “hey, maybe we could talk about this in an hour or so. Actually, now that you’re home and you can watch the kids, I’d like to be alone for a couple minutes. That’s why I came to our bedroom and closed the door...and you followed me in here...” Sometimes when what he has to say is really complaining I just say flat out I’m not interested in hearing about it at all.

Even if he stops the venting stuff, it annoys the fuck out of me how he wants to hang out as soon as he gets home. Sometimes I don’t want to casually chat either, not right away. Again, I’ve been with toddlers all day. I want thirty minutes where no one is speaking to me, asking me something, even making noise around me. 

He ALWAYS takes offense. I have tried and tried explaining that I just can’t have him unload all of his shit on me if I’m not ready for it. He ALWAYS brings it back to me not caring about his day or wanting to talk to him. I get that he’s been alone a lot of the day, but I just can’t handle it and it’s really becoming a problem with me that he doesn’t understand.

Am I the asshole here?