So I (19M) have this group of friends of about 4 of us. We're somewhat close but we all have other friend groups. About 2 or 3 months back a girl in the group (we'll call her Sarah) had a bad breakup with her at the time boyfriend. We had never really met the dude but he seemed chill. However apparently they had a pretty big falling out. We never really got the details but she did mention she felt like he had used her for sex, so after this we obviously took her side and agreed not to really talk to this guy.

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Anyway, since then sometimes I'll be eating at our school's dining hall (we're all college freshmen living in dorms) with some friends, some from the group, and some other people, but not including Sarah, and her ex will just come by and sit with us. I guess he remembers us and feels like he knows us well enough to eat with us, or he's friends with someone else who's currently sitting with us. Even though we never really knew him, I'm okay with him being there. I don't think this guy has many friends and I would feel bad telling him to leave or getting up and moving myself, and in any case I don't really mind since he doesn't talk with us much. I (and anyone else from the group who's there) just sort of tolerate him but never initiate conversations directly with him. Also this has only happened like three times max.

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However, apparently Sarah saw us sitting with him a few times and felt a bit betrayed. She has since asked us to not let him eat around us. I explained that we don't really tell him he can or can't since he just sits down without asking, and flat out telling him he has to move seems unnecessarily rude. Plus it's not like we ever see this guy outside those three or so times.

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I understand where she's coming from, considering it's her ex who we agreed never to be friends with, but at the same time I feel like it's a bit much to ask that we purposefully be a dick to him. The way she sees it, it's what he deserves, but even though we're her friends, we just don't dislike him enough to do that. Maybe because it's been a while since it all happened, or maybe because we never really saw the breakup go down.