Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : History: My mom and dad have been divorced for around 28 years. When they first split and my siblings and I were little, they fought like cats and dogs, and there was much shit talking from both sides. Never any details, but always screaming that led to more screaming. There was a period of around 10 years where they seemed to get along, but then it was back to constantly fighting and us kids in the middle of it all. Needless to say, I have a very fucked up relationship with both of them. My mom is very high control and manipulative, and my dad is very sneaky, evasive, and manipulative. This has led to periods of both me and my brother )who is special needs) either totally blocking or limiting both of them from our lives at times throughout the years to maintain our own mental health. My brother has been in both of their care at different times in his life, but he now lives independently with some outside assistance. Most of their interaction in the last few years has been in relation to the care of my brother, as we found out my dad was doing some shady side shit with his money when we decided my brother needed to move out and live on his own. Every discussion between my mom and dad in the last few years has ended in the cops being called, a public screaming match, a screaming match over the phone, or various threats.

The conflict:

My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke and is in the ICU a few hours away from our hometown. My brother works during the week and will not be able to visit him until the weekend. My mom had also previously planned a trip to stay with my my brother the same weekend. My mom offered to drive him up to the hospital (even though some friends from my dad's church offered to give him a ride), and on a group call with me and my brother said that she'll be in the room with him during the visit as she's afraid it will make my brother upset and emotional and she wants to 'be there for him'. And since she assumed no one else would be in the room with him, she'll do whatever my brother prefers. I had literally just told her another sibling would be here by then to stay with dad long term and so he would not be in the room alone. She said she just wants to 'support both of her kids through this difficult time.'

I told her she absolutely does not need to be in the room, as the goal to get my dad out of ICU is to get his blood pressure down, and her being in the room will certainly raise it. If his blood pressure gets too high, it could worsen the bleeding in his brain, or even cause another stroke. My perspective is whatever my brother feels (and certainly my mom) should come second, the priority should be on taking care of the patient. If my brother feels uncomfortable, it will pass and he'll be ok. Even if he has to go in the room without my mom (which he won't). I told her she needs to respect the patient, as well as what I'm asking her to do, and back off. 

My mom will not let up on this and is adamant that she'll do whatever she feels she need to 'support her kids, especially my brother' (relevant fact: she lives 5 hours away, not sure she understands the irony of that). And I am adamant that she's not getting in the ICU, she has no place here, and she needs to back off.

AITA?