A year ago when I moved in, my roommate, who is also one of my best friends, was an absolute complete disgusting slob. Never cleaned up after himself, whole house smelled like mold and cigarettes, walls FILTHY with grime and nicotine. He looked and dressed in a way that made him look as though he did not live inside. He acted like a fool in public, yelling obscenities even on public transportation. At first, it was a minor inconvenience, but after time it started to wear on me. A month or so in, I started letting him know that I didn't want our friendship to be impacted by our roommate situation, and I could use help maintaining the apartment's cleanliness, which he essentially ignored until I had a breakdown about the communal areas being absolutely filthy to the point I couldn't bring anyone over without cleaning for several hours.  


I have since been rewarding his good behavior with dab oil (we're in WA state, totally legal) and hot fresh meals, since I know he hates cooking. When he trashes a room and leaves it that way, I just ignore his mess and keep cleaning my own, while making food simply for myself. Once he's cleaned, I make a nice big communal meal for the both of us, almost always complete with fresh baked desserts. While he's in the shower, I drive to the dispensary for oil and dab out when he's done. I even slip his bus fare back into his change from food stores when he's not paying attention, if he hasn't been cursing and obnoxious on the bus. This has changed him immensely, and I have not once mentioned this sort of conditioning to him. He's never asked me about it either.  


Am I an asshole for subtly using psychological tactics and essentially training my roommate to act and BE better? He's noted a vast improvement in his psychiatric health since I moved in, and I am loathe to tell him I've been training him to be a better roommate as it may come off as harsh.