Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : So I’m trying to keep this short as I want to meet the 3G # guideline but this is a very complex story so if anyone needs clarification on anything feel free to ask questions in the comment section &amp; I’ll be happy to answer what i can.TL;DR at bottom
So my bf A &amp; I agreed years ago that if I were ever accidentally pregnant we would adopt if we weren’t in the right place to keep it. But the moment I found out I was a few weeks ago (at 6 weeks) my mind suddenly changed. I can’t explain the love I have for this tiny being I just found out about but I knew I didn’t want to give them up if I didn’t have to. My bf didn’t agree.
I’m a believer in equality &amp; while i know the world isn’t big on equality I do believe we should work towards creating it. This includes fathers. If mom decides she doesn’t want the baby because she wants to travel it doesn’t matter how much the father begs he’s just a monster enforcing the patriarchy. But if it’s the mother who wants to keep the baby &amp; the father wants to abort (for the same reasons as the mother in the first scenario) he’s a monster &amp; a dead beat. I don’t think that’s right &amp; given A’s family (filthy rich dad) I certainly didn’t want my love for A to be misconstrued into a plot to get money. I made it clear if I decide to keep the baby I will not go after A for child support should he not want to be a father. All I want is for him to be on the birth certificate and to still exist in our lives even if not in a fatherly role. This lead to many problems (him kicking me out of our home &amp; then bringing me back). Things have been better but..idk. I’m currently going behind his back &amp; looking at a small two bedroom apartment. He believes that I’ve resigned to adopting but I haven’t fully made a decision. I told him I deleted the shopping list of baby items but that isn’t true either, I simply saved it &amp; am now setting aside money to potentially buy these things in the coming future. I will offer to let him come with me to the new apartment should that be my final choice (I have to choose by August as that’s when our lease is up) but I’m terrified of losing him. I can’t tell him sooner or he might kick me out again and if this is what I plan to do I logically can’t afford this hit nor could I emotionally. Either way my heart will be broken if he doesn’t change his mind as I’ll either lose him or my baby. I know I’m the one who went against the plan and started all this.. Am I the a** for wanting to keep my baby despite the plans we made years ago? And am I wrong for having a plan b without telling him? 

Let me know your honest opinions, please no sugar coating. You can ask questions if you like I’ll do my best to answer them all.

TL;DR accidentally pregnant with bf and now want to change plan we agreed on ages ago. This lead to fights, getting kicked out, brought back in and now life is back to normal and we are happy... but I’m going behind his back and still planning on potentially keeping the baby. Am I the a**?