Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Using a throwaway account b/c I have friends who know my regular username, and don’t really want to call to attention this issue I’m having with my family. 


Some background: I committed a crime about 10 years ago (I agree I was an asshole at the time, but time marches forward). This particular crime is something the people of reddit demonize others for - I was at a friends house for my birthday and my friend made me dinner and had bought some wine for us to share. I had 2 glasses of wine over the course of about 2+ hours and felt tired. I got pulled over for doing about 6 miles over the speed limit and blew a .09, I blew several more times and my BAC kept going down each time. Both my lawyer and the cop told me it would have probably been under a .08 if I had waited another hour. I never would have driven if I knew I was over the limit, my group of friends were always the type to play it safe. We shared cab fare, had DDs, rented hotel rooms downtown, or spent the night at various friends places whenever we planned on drinking. It never occurred to me that my body couldn’t process wine in a little over 2+ hours. 


I was devastated when this happened, I fell into a deep depression. I was convinced I would never have friends again, no one would care for me, I would never get a job again, I was not worthy of love, etc. My depression was compounded by the fact my my aunt (mom’s sister) and my aunt’s son (cousin) would basically tell me that I was a total piece of shit. They told me that I should be locked away and forgotten about. They told me I was worthless. They would refer to me as “criminal” and not my actual name. They would call me an alcoholic. They told me I would never get married because no one could love someone who is criminal scum. And for the first year after this happened I believed them. I stopped seeing any of my friends, I was terrified of even having any sort of alcohol in my apartment, I stopped having any sort of life because I knew I was absolutely worthless. 


I’d visit my parents occasionally and sometimes my aunt would be there, and she would turn the topic around to me and what I did. I’d see my aunt and cousin around the holidays and various family events, they made sure to spread the gossip around so everyone knew. It was so incredibly embarrassing. Prior to falling in to a deep depression I was the type to hike, run 5ks, participate in bike marathons, lift weights and volunteered a lot of nonprofits with my friends. Our group frequently volunteered with Habitat For Humanity multiple times a year, and I stopped doing this. 


This happened back in 2008, it’s now 2018 and my aunt and cousin always bring it up everytime I see them. They couldn't help but to call me out whenever they saw me, they would make a snide comment and I'd feel like shit all over again. It took me a long time to get out of my depression because of them. I finally managed to lose weight and become a better person over time. 


I finally snapped this past Thanksgiving. Just like the last 10 Thanksgiving and the last 10 Xmases they spend a good portion of the day making horrible “jokes” at my expense. I hosted Thanksgiving this year, and my mom really wanted aunt and cousin to come, she said that she had talked to her sister and that she wouldn’t bring up my dwi this year. I was skeptical but my husband and I really wanted to host and cook this year, as it would be our first thanksgiving as a married couple. 


Aunt and cousin didn’t keep their promise. Cousin saw our wine rack, asked if he should call “the betty ford clinic for me.” They asked my husband how he could marry a criminal and if he happened to be a felon, unemployed or an alcoholic - because they couldn’t imagine any other type to marry a low life like me. Aunt asked if my job had found out about my past yet, b/c they’ll probably fire me when they discover it. She asked how I was able to have a "real office job with computers" and not some shitty retail position with a criminal history like mine. She inquired how a criminal was able to own a home. She asked if I had started to drinking as soon as I got up that day. She wonders how it’s possible for me to be so thin when alcohol has so many calories in it and implied I must have a "liquid diet" and only eat solids on special occasions. They kept making passive aggressive comments like this throughout the evening. My husband opened a bottle of wine (he doesn’t give a shit what these people say, and if he feels like having a glass of wine with dinner, he’s going to have one. My ability to care was also fading, so I had him pour me a glass too). So, I had a glass of wine (in my own fucking home) and my aunt said “I hope you aren’t planning on driving after that, we all know you can’t control yourself.” After she said that I kinda lost my shit. 


I basically said something along the lines of - 


“For a criminal scumbag I sure have accomplished a lot more than you and your son combined. Your kid is in his 30s and hasn’t left home yet, and is a college drop out who never found a real job because his only talents are sitting on his ass and playing video games.  I’ve been with the same company for the past 7 years and just got another promotion with a hefty pay raise, alcoholics can’t do that. I have a house and a wonderful husband, you’ve had two failed marriages and can’t seem to keep a new man for more than a few months. Also, have you noticed how thin and muscular I am? You can’t build muscle when you’re an alcoholic! The only thing you and your idiot son ever have to say is about something stupid I did 10 fucking years ago. And I think I know why - you literally have nothing interesting going on in your life at all, the only thing remotely interesting you ever have to talk about is ME. Maybe if you found a hobby - how about dieting and maybe trying to eat a vegetable for the first time in your fucking life - you could perhaps come up with a new god damn topic other than something dumb I did when I was in my early 20s for fucks sake.” 


It was awkward after that. My two siblings thought it was hilarious, they never liked aunt much anyway, and would be quick to defend me in the past. Mom tried to play shitty mediator by saying I shouldn’t have yelled or swore, but it’s okay for me to defend myself, and told my aunt that she’s always too hard on me and to let it go. Dad never liked aunt basically told aunt she was asking for it. Cousin responded with just a “fuck you” and was huffy and silent until they left. Aunt was in hysterics about being spoken to in a such a manner, and that I’m an entitled and ungrateful “little girl”. Husband asked aunt and cousin to leave, they say more mean things and finally leave. Mom is still kinda angry with me for making a big fuss and told me that her sister likes to be crass and make jokes, but she’s still family and I should eventually apologize to aunt and cousin. I don’t share this feeling with my mom. Wanted to see if I should apologize and just accept they will continue to say horrible things to me. 