Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Holy shit I can't believe this is a thing that exists. I'm psyched because I've wondered this exact thing about a situation I recently created a few months ago, but have nobody inbiased to really talk about it.

So I'm going to give a lot of context, even things that aren't directly related to the termination of this friendship but help paint a picture of what the dynamic was.

Ok so I had reconnected with a really close high school friend via text messages/snapchat. Eventually we found out we actually live close to each other so we decide to meet up and hang out. 

We go out and have some fun, and end up sleeping with each other. We decide to be FWB for awhile and it's great. One day, however, we hang out (after not seeing each other for about a month, leaving me quite horny) and she says she doesn't want to. I get kind of upset, so I just leave brewing. I think it's VERY important to establish that at no point, neither here nor later in the story, do I even approach her without her consent. I don't touch her, I don't back her into a corner, I literally draw an imaginary line in the ground between us and very intentionally do not let any part of may body cross it.

My leaving did not sit well with her, she was incredibly hurt (she told me later she cried... so that made me feel pretty shitty) and she doesn't see me for about another month. She still texts me though, and she decides to go visit her family. She ends up asking me to pick her up from the airport, which I do, and we actually have a pretty great time. At the end of the night I make a move and we have a kind of argument/discussion. Basically she's not sure if she wants to keep doing this or not because I was such an asshole. The discussion ends with her telling me we'll talk about it on the phone later.

But we actually don't. She basically dissappears from my life for 6 months now, and I get it. In that particular situation I was without a shadow of a doubt the asshole. I do get texts from her every once in awhile, but not really any conversations. I continue to tell her how sorry I am and how awful I feel, and none of it is a lie I had NEVER felt such intense guilt. It would actually keep me up at night because I never wanted to hurt somebody I care about like that.

But randomly, after about 6 months she hits me up again, and asks me "Do you want to be redeemed". Wtf what a weird text. But obviously I do, at this point I'll be ok with her just accepting my apology and not talking to me again, so I want in on this. 

To summarize, some guy (we will call him Ryan) she does not like fell in love with her and dude is SCARY. He actually seems like he might hurt her, and he found a guy that she likes (We'll call him Will) and wants to get in contact with him to... idk what exactly, but he's not interested in a friendly chat. She wants to give Ryan my number and have me pretend to be Will to keep the "real" Will safe. Obviously this puts me in a pretty bad position, but this friendship meant a lot to me so I agree. I should be safe right?

Except my dumb ass forgot my FB is linked to my phone number and Ryan immediately knows i'm not Will. So he calls me and says "You're not will, give me Will's number now". I don't even even HAVE Will's number, but I keep the act up anyways. Idk why but I thought it was funny for him to ask me for Will's number and to respond with "But I am Will the fuck you mean dawg?" Lol. 

He starts threatening me, telling me how he's going to leave me a bloody mess, beat my face in, etc. He's also super racist so that's fun (I'm Mexican). This goes on for a couple weeks, but then I find out he's going to contact my friends and I get mad. I basically tell him if he Continues what he's doing I'm going to call the police. This seems to stop him.

At this point she starts talking to me again. I mention all this because I know that I did some bad shit, but it's my belief that I made up for it. My life was in actual danger, and she even propositioned this to me as a means to rectify everything, so I don't think it should play into the verdict, but maybe I just can't see things from the right perspective.

The new friendship doesn't involve sex. I've given up on that. First of all she moved away 2 states over, and it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing I should push for anyways. I make it clear that I would like it, though, and we're very flirty, but I never actually push forward with it. And before you say even that was unsolicited, it's not like there's NOTHING happening. She randomly sends me nudes and really suggestive texts. Sk do with that what you will.

Anyways, for the most part we just talk about our lives. And we talk a LOT. She calls me literally every day for nearly 5 months. It doesn't matter if I'm at work or with friends, she calls. At first I'm really happy (I even visit her once), but it starts to grind on me that she calls me every day and only seems to complain about her life. It's not the only thing we talk about (and we talk for literally hours most of the time), but it always comes up.

She also starts getting angry when I don't pick up. Once I was out with friends all day and she got mad at me because my phone died. "Well huh you had battery to take snapchats all day!"

Well yeah... that's why my phone is dead. Not only does she demand my time on the phone, but she started going to school and wanted me to proofread all her papers, which I do. It's clear she's been out of school for awhile because her essays are terrible; lots of spelling and grammar errors mixed with poor structure. Needless to say, a lot of my time is being eaten up by her. Then she starts disappearing again. She won't call or answer me, and at first it freaks me out because I think something happened, but no. She just wants to be alone, and I get it. It just really starts bothering me that she kind of talks to me when she gets something out of it and conveniently decides that my feelings don't matter when she wants to be alone. I feel like this because it seems like she doesn't care at all during these times about how I'm doing. At one point I got kind of depressed about something that had happened to me, and she didn't even respond to me.

The point is, I feel like I'm being used.

Then one day she goes on another trip with some family, and asks me to come hang out with her when she returns (I live nearby the biggest airport around, so she uses it). I do and tell her "hey, next month I'm taking a trip and I'll be passing right by your city (visiting her would literally be like a 15 minute detour) , let's have lunch". She agrees and tells me to give her details. About a week before I head out I hit her up to remind her, since she can be kind of busy, and she responds with basically an "ok", but very disconnected. This was during one of those times she wanted to be alone, but it's not often I come by so I thought it might be special. I text her a few more times through the week letting her know the exact time I'll be coming through.

Finally the day comes and I try calling her when I'm around to try to meet up and get no response. I don't want to waste too much time since I'm on a schedule, but I do wait around for a response. I decide just to eat lunch in town and maybe she'll hit me up during and I can at least say hi (Ironically I ended up eating lunch down the street from where she works. This isn't like a creepy stalker thing, it was a total accident and I only recognized the place based on descriptions she had given me. She also doesn't know this so I don't think it played into her behaviour).

She never contacts me and I'm frustrated but figure she was too busy so I leave. A couple hours later she texts me.

"I was asleep."

Well sorry, but now we're fighting. I told her the EXACT time I was coming through, and she works in the morning, so you made the choice to wake up, go to work, and come back home and sleep despite agreeing to have lunch with me. She tried to tell me I never texted her, which I responded to by vindictively  sending her screens of the texts which SHE RESPONDED TO. She told me she didn't see those, and I'm starting to boil over.

 I feel really used, and she's not even apologizing. She seems to think that her sleeping is a good reason for missing me, when the very fact that she chose to sleep is what bothers me. All I want is for her to say I'm sorry at this point. And I'm not vague about it, I ask her to apologize and we don't have to fight anymore, but she very adamantly refuses to. "I won't apologize for being me". At this point it's obvious she's not listening so I tell her never to speak to me again. I feel completely manipulated.

Funnily enough I had shipped a birthday present to her a bit before, so when that came she said thank you and I said happy birthday, but besides that I haven't spoken to her. She's reached out a couple times but I do not respond, that friendship was just too toxic.

But I also wonder... I was an asshole several times to. Was I being inconsiderate? I mean she was probably really tired, and she has a pretty stressful life so maybe I should have understood that.

I'm not sure, and it still bugs me. Am I the asshole?

Sorry this was so long jesus...