Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : This is my first actual reddit post(other than asking the name of a weird orange fluffy ball that I brought because it looked cute)
I am also on mobile so this may not be the best post

Me(M16)
Gf(F16) Named E


Okay my family isn't the most fit or skinny, but me and my brother aren't obese by any definition of the word, but my mum is, she constantly projects the insecurities about her weight onto me and my brother, she constantly decides that we should start eating healthier, which I have already decoded to do months earlier, she talks about how I've gained weight.

Now one thing that should be pointed out, I've seen quite a few doctors and been passed around between organisations, all of the ones I've seen within the past few years all agree that I have some sort of depression and anxiety. I've struggled with this and before seeing the doctors I tried to convince myself I was fine and other things happened after which aren't relivant so I don't feel comfortable going into it.

Note that my mum is nutorious for lashing out and throwing tantrums, hitting things, slamming doors, and all of those beautiful things, she has never hit us but both me and my twin, 6ft 16 year olds still flinch from her screaming and slamming doors, mostly because my stepmum used to hit and hurt me constantly verbally and physically abuse me(this physical was only when it got really bad) screaming at me, calling me worthless pinning me against a wall with my hands behind my back, trying to push me down marble stairs, the list could go on. My mum knows all of this but still doesn't hesitate to do any of this. 

Recently she has gotten better at not doing this(other than a tantrum in the car of her hitting the steering wheel screaming and pulling over the car) but when something happens she tends to hold thta against us that she hasn't acted outrageous recently so we should do this for her or we should realise we are in the wrong which I already have trouble with. 

She knows about the depression and anxiety, in fact she has depression herself aswell but still treats me as if I know nothing about it.

She constantly points out my flaws, mainly focusing on my weight and commenting how I should "go to the gym more often" and " stop eating so much crap" it's gotten to the point I struggle to have a conversation with her without her bringing it up.

About a month before chrismas I try to explain to her how this is hurting me and I am struggling to handle my self worth already and she's making it worse, she then says that it's okay she'll stop. Next day in the car to school, "I know I promised not ot talk about your weight but have you thought about going to the gym with E". I then go into explain about how "E doesn't really have much time for the gym right now because of problems with family(which are extremely serious)"

The comments don't stop, and it reaches a point where I don't feel comfortable with her alone or in a position I can't not talk to her in so normally I have headphones in and am in my room or on my laptop. In the car she lectures me and weight and how I'm always alone and never downstairs, always in my room and how she thinks my depression is getting worse, she says all this while shouting at me (great way to make someone's depression better). I put up with it because anxiety I physically can't find the words to express myself in that moment.

My mum pulled me into her room a week ago and said both of us need to start being healthy because my twin is doing incredibly good at it. One day ago were all frustrated in the car and she gets us chocolate, small bars. I look in the bag and she goes to stop me, I tlel her to chill I'm just getting our chocolate out, I look in and there is so much shit in there. She gives the excuse its for her students in her class because they've been good.

Later that evening I walk into her room nick her charger for an hour because she was out and I find all of the chocolate wrappers and shit drawn out across her bed. This fucking infuriates me but I eventually calm down and let it pass because she was probably just frustrated at school today.

Now onto the the main part

E and my sister were both coming over to my house about 3 days after chrismas to eat dinner with us, the day goes past, my sister making fun of me, making me feel crappy and all that shit but I can get past that. My mum volenteers to take E home as her parents do the same for me alot.

My mum knows E deals with a lot of the same shit as me, even worse because of some other situations and stuff but still does thing. My mum knows that E is afraid of her and is afraid of not being liked by her. 

Now until today I didn't know anything about the conversation that happened in the car. And thanks to it being about a month's ago not all details were remembered but if I find out the whole convo I'll edit and post it here.

My mum spends the trying trying to convince E to bring me to the gym and make me eat better foods, when she tells her it's my life and keeps going after told she can't because I'm my own person, trying to pressure her to do it, I was told later on by my gf that she was afraid of her in this situation as if she'd be angry at E.

I am really struggling with this, because my mother who I'm already struggling to trust after the repeated tantrums and things like that(also an incident where she probably looked into my diary my doctor said I should write) repeatedly points out my flaws and says I need more excersise and that I'm getting to big and all that shit and then she goes behind my back and tries to pressure my socially anxious E to then pressure me into doing what she wants.

Ive also tried explaining to her that I have been eating healthy and excersing but she seems to relentlessly mirroring her flaws onto me.

I want to confront her about what she did to E, because I can put up with it if it's me but there is no need to bring E into this, and I'm especially angry because she played on E's fear of her and not being liked by her to get what she wants from E. 

E doesn't want me to because she's afraid that it will make her hate E. But I feel like this has to stop and I know if I don't confront her she will most likely do something similar again. I also have extreme problems with my mum breaking my trust again and going behind my back. 

Summary- Mum decides let's eat healthy, doesn't, does this repeatedly, shouts at me for it, shouts at me for my depression getting worse because she's making me self conscious, tries to pressure my gf into pressuring me to do what she wants.

Would I be the asshole if I confronted my mum about it even though E is scared for me to?