My friend has two kiddos, and a third on the way. She is texting and/or calling me on an almost daily basis to tell me how awful her boyfriend is. He says terrible things, screams in her face, storms out over the slightest thing, has threatened to just take custody of their unborn kiddo, the list goes on. She has called me, crying, more than once, to tell me she’s afraid to have this baby with him, and that the stress is causing her a lot of issues. She has essentially communicated to me that he sucks, and has sucked since long before she got pregnant (the entirety of their 2 year relationship, for the most part). 

I am *really* trying to support her. I always answer her calls, pick her up if I am at all able, watch her kiddos when she needs a break, offer space in my place for her to breathe, etc. I “lent” (I don’t expect it back, but she insisted on making it a loan) her $600 to get her car fixed, so she didn’t have to depend on this crappy guy to make sure she can get to work. 

I’ve kind of hit my breaking point. I have an infant myself, I’m a grad student, and I work. Every time she tells me about something else her boyfriend has done, I get AMPED, like I just want to storm the castle and get her out of there. This response is physically and emotionally exhausting. This morning, after another round of “He slept on the couch after screaming at me”, and my repeated suggestion for couples counselling and/or individual therapy, offers for her to come stay here with her kids, and just general sympathy, I told her I couldn’t keep doing this. I let her know I truly appreciate that she trusts me enough to come to me, that I love her, and want to do all I can to help her, but I need her to want the help. 

AITA for kind of shutting her down? I feel terrible about it. 

Tl; dr: my friend has been in (what I believe to be) an emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years, denies my help consistently, and I finally told her I can’t handle just hearing how awful he is anymore. AITA?