Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : So I have been doing research into my fiancee's birth parents. And the people I hired have found her birth mother. 

I told her adoptive mother which I was told they are meeting up later today which makes me super nervous as her adoptive mother has been known to blab. I thought that I would at least have had today to keep them seperated. 

I want to tell the adoptive mother to cancel plans as of right now the people have not contacted the birth mother and know if she would even want to know her daughter. I want to protect my fiancee from this potentially crippling news until I can safely let her know about this if not ever until she would start a real search and then i can give her the information. 

Am I the asshole for wanting to tell her to cancel the get together? 