Working hard to meet the character limit, so excuse the concision in this complicated matter.

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The issue: whenever anything meaningful to me happens in my life, I choose to not mention it to my mom at all. Since quite some time she doesn't get to know what brought or brings me happiness or sadness, nor does she know what I am doing or plan to do in my life. Same with my interests. We still live together so we have contact, but it's skin-deep. Whenever she asks me about anything about me she receives bland answers, like "it's okay" or "I was with friends". I'm 25, by the way.

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Why would I not be the asshole:

\- For as long as I remember, I was mom's trophy - a Gifted Kid (tm) she could brag about to her friends and siblings. She seemed to care more about my results than me as a person, and having a B in a streak of A's was something she always responded to with questioning and disapproval. That likely contributed to my self-esteem and motivation issues.

\- I got burned several times when opening myself up to her. At best she would not be able to offer any kind of empathy or advice, at worst she would joke about or underplay my issues and concerns. For example, after my now-ex gf (4 years together) broke up with me (devastating for me), her concerns were mostly about why that happened (sheer curiosity) rather than how I felt about it (empathy). Might sound petty, but that kind of attitude over long time does leave a mark.

\-She always scoffed at my interests, without even trying to understand them. Anything I liked was "that weird thing he likes".

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Why I could be the asshole:

\- It's my mom. She gave birth to me, she cares for me. It's not right to just cut her off like that.

\- She grew up with 5 sisters as the youngest one, on the countryside. I, on the other hand, am an only child from a bigger town, so we have been brought up differently.

\- She's far from a bad person. She's helpful, takes care of people when she knows how. She never really means bad.

\- I had a really stress-less life thanks to my parents (getting tons of financial support, no pathologies, not too controlling), so maybe I'm just a spoiled, ungrateful shit

\- All of the bad symptoms are lessened now and I feel like mom's trying a bit more to connect with me.

\-I was a really quiet child. Got me lots of praise at some points in my life, but it also  resulted in her assuming everything was okay with me and only reacted when something bad started to happen (e.g worse grades). That said, self-reflection tells me I was just kind of unresponsive, so it's on me that I didn't communicate my feelings properly.

\-Finally, she's only a human. Focusing on stuff she in my opinion got wrong is unfair to her.

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I'm really conflicted about all of this. It's a constant fight between what was, what is, what should have been, wondering if I got attitude problems, when does her responsibility for my life end and when does mine start.

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