Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I have a work colleague, let's say his name is Bob. Bob (52m) and I (28f) became pretty good friends through work. To cut a long story short, it turns out Bob is 'madly in love' with me, despite knowing I'm in a very happy and loving relationship, and he has been married 20 years with 4 kids and 2 grandkids. He's sent me explicit messages and pictures. I changed my place of work and he followed me. I've told him either he needs to stop that shit or we can't be friends. He said he would stop. Fine. I hate the idea of hurting someone, even if they have been a complete twat, so this was the compromise. 

Back when Bob wasn't being a dick, I told him some very personal issues of mine involving serious sexual assault in my past.

That was 6 months ago. Cut to the last few days. Bear in mind I've told Bob to back the fuck off, stop trying to get anything sexual out of me, we're either friends or we're not, it's that simple. Bob announces, out of the blue, that he was assaulted when he was "13 or 14" by a male family friend. This then escalated to "multiple times". Today its escalated to "I was assaulted and gangbanged by 5 men while they stood around taking pictures and videos". When he was "13 or 14" this wouldve been either 1979 or 1980. 

I truly believe this is a lie. And I hate that I'm saying that. The thought that someone would lie about that makes me feel physically sick, and I also feel physically sick in myself for thinking someone is lying about it, but hear me out. I believe this is a ploy to get me to feel for him, get me to cuddle him and tell him it's okay. A lie to make it seem like we're more similar. A lie to make it so that I can't leave him behind because who would do that to someone so vulnerable? I also believe it's an attempt to "one up" my own personal experiences. As in, "I've had it worse than you please pity me".

I've told him I am not the person to talk to about this. I am not the support he is looking for. Couple that with the fact I'm almost positive he's lying and it's really fucking me up.

So I told him he needs to go and speak to a therapist. I even know an excellent charity who will not charge you to speak to a therapist, and they usually get you in within a week or so. He's flat out refused saying there's no point, he's lived with it this long, he'll just "Bury it down inside like he always has done" and that I'm the only person he's ever told. He won't tell his wife because "she'll want to take things into her own hands", he won't tell his mum because it would "kill her". Etc. 

And yes... Trust me... I understand this is an unhealthy 'friendship'. Unfortunately, I'm too nice to tell someone to fuck off. We work in the same company, I can't just disappear or change my number or just stop talking to him because he will eventually bump into me and I don't have it in me for a physical face to face confrontation.

Anyway... WIBTA for giving my work colleague this ultimatum? Thank you in advance for your input. 