Due to being an irresponsible adult who doesn’t understand the concept of saving money, my brother doesn’t have a car at the moment. He’s currently struggling getting to and from work, because his job (which is near where I live) is a 20 minute drive from his home. On public transportation, that’s about an hour and a half commute. 

At first I didn’t mind helping him out, because despite his flaws that have led him to this situation, he’s my brother and I want to be there for him. But it’s turned into a weekly thing, where at least twice a week he’s either asking me for rides, asking to borrow my car for days, or asking if I can lend him money. Sometimes I’m busy, and sometimes I just really don’t feel like it. I’m currently on break from school, so it’s not like I have an excuse to not want to let him borrow my car, I just don’t want to. I want to be able to know that it’s in my possession ready for me to use if I need it for whatever reason, even if it’s just to go to a friends house. 

The thing is, aside from this issue, my brother and I get along well. I don’t want to hurt his feelings and have it hurt our relationship. 

Am I really the asshole for wanting to put myself first when my brother is struggling? Because I sure feel like an asshole for it, and that’s why it’s so hard for me to say no sometimes. 