It sounds bad and I still feel it is. 

I told my gf this and asked if maybe she’d be up to try polygamy and since I know this is a very sensitive and touchy subject I respected her decision and didn’t try to object against her. She first started with maybe, but after some thought she said know

I was very honest and open with her about me having strong urges to be with other people sexually and she cried and was in complete distress. I completely understand why and don’t blame her for that.

My gf is my first and only and my sexual curiosity always comes up. I’d never cheat on her and if I really wanted to sleep with other people I’d break up with her before then. I just feel it’s a pretty messed up reason to break up with someone and just telling her I feel broke her self esteem. I feel really bad but my sexual curiosity, urges and frustration are really picking at me. I don’t want to cheat, but I really want to know what other people are like.

I want this but I don’t want to hurt her and either way it seems I can’t have both. 

I haven’t dont anything yet and I’ve never and don’t plan to even get as close to flirting with someone else as long as I’m with her. But I have strong urges too

What should I do? 
WIBTA is I end up breaking up with her for this reason? Should I lie to save her feelings? She’s become a decent gf after all of our struggles, would i be ruining this chance? Plz help