For context, BF has a big close family and huge close friend group. He has lots of hobbies and pastimes, a demanding career and overall a very full life. I admire this about him. I on the other hand am a single parent to an 8 yr old boy, have a small family and a small friend group. I don’t do so much by way of socializing, maybe once or twice per month have girls time out etc.

We’re slated to move in together in the next few months, and have been doing “trials” spending a few nights at BF’s place here and there, hanging out once or twice per week etc. This is our first time spending the holidays together. Thanksgiving worked out nicely. We went to BF’s then to my family’s and then relaxed at the house. 

Christmas was always my favorite growing up. My family still had big gatherings when I was little, I got to see everyone, everyone was happy and it was great yadda yadda yadda. Now it’s borderline depressing. No family dinner on my side. It’s basically just me and my son and my mom usually. I was so looking forward to spending Christmas together this year and making new traditions and enjoying the holiday together. Family and togetherness is how I feel Christmas is supposed to be. Well BF too, just a little differently...

BF’s Christmas tradition is to go out and get shit faced with his brothers and friends on Christmas Eve and then go to his parents for Christmas Day dinner. Obviously I said I’d be passing on the eve, that I’ll be home with DS watching Christmas movies and baking cookies and whatnot. And we’re supposed to all go to Christmas dinner.

Then we had talked about New Years, which we decided we’d stay home and hang with the kiddo. I told BF I’d be spending it with DS, but he can do his own thing and at one point BF said we *have* to spend New Years together. It was non negotiable for him. Ok cool, so you’re gonna hang with us at the house and drink fake wine and play music and bang pots and pans and whatnot?

Well tonight he expressed his dissatisfaction with not “going out” and asked if this is going to be every year? To which I replied maybe next year we can switch it up and he can stay home with us on Christmas Eve and I can get a sitter and we can go out together on NYE. He acted like I’d literally just ripped his heart out. Started going on about how I better never try to get between him and his family and friends etc.

Guys. Every time he wants to do something *with the exception of when he’s changing or cancelling plans we already had together* I am fine with it. I don’t give him a hard time about anything ever. He has a very time intensive summer hobby. I’m talking like 2-3 entire days a week every week during the summer. During football season he’s doing that 2-3 times a week. I am not the type to try to come between him and his “him” time/family/friends. I feel like I’m super understanding and do a lot of working around his schedule and doing what he wants etc so that comment was a real slap in the face.

Anyway. He’s going to be doing his own thing all weekend this weekend and going out Christmas Eve and we’re going to his family thing with him on Christmas. And then he acts like I’m the devil for suggesting that we compromise next year? If he wants to spend NYE together *out*, is it really that ridiculous for me to ask that he spend Christmas Eve home with my kid and I?

AITA?