I visited an online friend a few months back when I started to have feelings for him. The trip just made those feelings stronger, so it was easy to say 'i love you' back and seemingly reciprocate the until-then unrequited feelings he had for me.

But as time went on after I went back home, distance took its toll and I started to question these feelings. I realized that there's a difference between loving how someone makes you feel and loving them for who they are, and that I fell for the former. I was left trying to evaluate him as a person over long distance. I still cared, but the feelings started coming in increasingly less frequent waves. Sometimes I did something like tell him I loved him back without really meaning it, which I seriously regret now. My 'rationale' was to keep it going until he came back in January, when we'd physically be in the same space again so I could make a better evaluation. Those inconsistent feelings were confusing; I couldn't tell if my doubts were valid or not.

So last week, he was talking about moving in with me again away from his abusive family when he asked if I even wanted him to still visit. I used to love the idea of him living with me, but at that point I wasn't really willing to do it (What the hell was i thinking, just letting 'I love you' after a few weeks and 'moving in together' after a month or so slide like I did?). So the truth came out about how the feelings have been slowly going away, and it hurt him. He said he was hurt over how I essentially lied, and now he's not talking to me

I could easily come up with reasons of how it's my fault, but I want to keep this neutral. Am I right in feeling this guilty over it?