Hubby and I moved across the country to help my mom with my grandparents (shopping, doctor visits, etc). My grandmother has alzheimer's and it's still in the beginning stages, which makes dealing with her a little difficult. She's in her late 70s and refuses to be told how to live, even if it's good for her health. Because of insurance changed, we have had to change their doctor a couple of times. Her last three doctors have told her that she's diabetic, but she refuses to believe it and continually sites the doctor before them saying she's "borderline" only. She's actually gotten into full blown arguments with my grandfather, my mother, and myself about the fact that she has to take her medication as prescribed and the fact that her diet absolutely has to change in order to keep her healthy. I have even gone so far as to threaten her with a home (not that I could ever follow through with the threat, I was just grasping at straws). My grandfather is and has been ready to be put in a home for over a decade because he does not want to become a burden to anyone. My grandmother, on the other hand, refused to talk to me for almost two weeks just for mentioning it. Then, about eight months ago, a friend of my grandmother's moved back into town (she had been living with her son and hated it). She's on the list for section 8 housing, but jumped the gun and moved into my grandparents' house. From what my grandfather was told, she would be there two weeks, she was there three months and only left because she had to (my uncle was coming into town and my grandfather told her that they needed the space). She still takes my grandmother out all the time, and while they are out she borrows money from my grandmother with no real repayment plan in place. She also comes over a few times a week to eat dinner, completely uninvited. 

&amp;#x200B;

Somewhere in the mix of all that (about three months ago), my grandmother started calling on her friend to take her to the doctor. I would show up to take her to appointments only to find out that she was already gone. Or I would find out, after the fact, about her going to an appointment that I didn't even know about. This is especially problematic because her friend doesn't tell us what's happening and my grandmother doesn't remember everything or just refuses to tell us about her appointments. When my mother confronted my grandparents about it, they responded by saying that I'm unreliable. Which blows my mind because until this started happening, I was always the one taking them to their appointments without fail, and I am still the one that takes my grandfather to all of his appointments. Of course, asking them how I can be considered unreliable when I don't even know about the appointment gets met with silence. So, we've officially told my grandmother that she is no longer allowed to go to the doctor without me or my mother, on at least four separate times now. I even went so far as to call her friend and tell her that she cannot take my grandmother to any appointments. Like, I don't even care if you take her shopping or whatever. That's between you and her, but no more doctors. That's my job. That was two weeks ago.

&amp;#x200B;

Last week, my grandmother had outpatient surgery. Her friend went with us because my grandmother had no idea where she was supposed to go and I wasn't involved in any of the planning for this surgery. There was a mass removed, which had to be sent to pathology. I set up the appointment for the results. I also set up an appointment for my grandfather's dermatologist later on the same day. That day is Monday. I woke up sick as a dog on Friday, but I have been forcing medication down my throat to get myself well enough over the weekend to not have to ask my mom to take time off work for this. Well, midday on Friday, grandma's friend calls me.  


Friend: Hey \[my name\]. I heard you had to go to the Social Security Office on Monday?

Me: No...?

Friend: Oh, well, your grandmother's appointment is on Monday. At what time?

Me: Why?

Friend: So that I can go.

Me: Why?

Friend: \*mumbles\* Okay. Okay. Talk to you later.

&amp;#x200B;

My mother comes home later on, from being with my grandparents. She caught my grandma attempting to make plans with her friend for Monday. Her excuse is that I'm sick and I won't be able to take her. I'm at the point where I want to call her friend and reiterate that she is not to take my grandmother to the doctors anymore. Am I being unreasonable here?