Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Just over a month ago I met a guy who I'll refer to as Dan. I started talking on and off with Dan through ThatOneGayDatingApp^(TM) and agreed to meet over some coffee, and it went fairly well, we chatted about stuff for a while, relocated when the coffee shop closed and overall talked for a few hours. After that, we would meet about 1-2 times a week, typically going out to eat then heading back to my place and watching some Lord of the Rings the end the night. Upon meeting Dan I found out that he apparently had a rather sizable inheritance and rather wealthy parents. This isn't really a big deal to me, whatever. Well, Dan only really liked to go out to "boujee" places (his own wording), which are very few in number where we're at. For our second date he brought me the nicest restaurant/bar in town; he brought flowers, paid for dinner and drinks, we talked. A lot of what we talked about was actually me talking about one of my favorite hobbies: D&amp;D. He would always bring it up because it was obvious that I was really into it. Usually I say very little about it, because honestly, if you aren't part of the hobby you probably don't want hear me rambling about, but I digress. He would get kinda weird about it though, saying stuff like "You're so sexy when talk \[insert D&amp;D thing\]", usually followed by me asserting that it's not that kind of fantasy role-playing... I figured it was a well-meant attempt to play at my interests, and that he was just oblivious to some social etiquette. Anyway, moving forward that's what a lot of our discussions were like; he would ask me about my nerd stuff and we talked about character concepts and worked on building him a character. I learned that his dad was some big-wig in some pharmaceutical company, and Dan would occasionally go to board meetings to sit in for his dad. 

Time to talk about the red flags. A couple weeks ago Dan wanted to go on a date to the other boujee restaraunt in town. Now here's the thing: My ex works as a waiter there (we broke up about 8-9 months ago). Dan knows this, and has actually met my ex before, knows he works there, and knows of our past relationship. I'm actually on good terms with my ex, so I wasn't too bother by it, and the night we were going was when my ex typically had the night off when we were together, so I figured it'd probably be fine. Dan wanted to do a gift exchange, and like a total jerk I had forgotten about it among the 3 other exchanges I had that week, plus 2 work parties. I show up and head to the table, and he had a big gift bag and a big bouquet of flowers (cue me remembering we agreed to a gift exchange). I apologize profusely, and we proceed with the evening. Our waiter was my ex. The evening was a tad awkward, though my ex stayed formal and and stayed professional. I opened my gift which was a $40+ gift (he had asked to do a $25-30 exchange), but I was pretty glad to now have another D&amp;D book. I promised I would make up for the lack of gift, and and did actually order his gift and let him know what it was, and fortunately he was pretty stoked and I was in the clear.

At one point, Dan told me of when he had met my ex over some coffee (this was after we had broken up). He relayed a story my ex had apparently told him, a key point of this story being that my ex had gone out of his way to cheat on me during our relationship. He told me this story after I mentioned the approximate date we had broken up to Dan. My reaction to this information was pretty mellow. I said it really doesn't matter much to me now, and it's not worth my happiness to obsess over past relationships.

A couple days after that I'm texting a friend that I haven't chatted with in a while that lives about 20 minutes away. I mention that I've been going on some dates with this Dan fellow. I got a text back asking if it was this guy and a picture attached. In the following discussion I learned that Dan had hit my friend up a while back on ThatOneGayDatingApp^(TM) and was really persistent, to the point of offering money for sexual services. My friend included a portion of the chat that also contained a face photo from Dan to confirm that we were talking about the same guy. 

I decided to check in with a few people concerning Dan. I first called a friend of mine that I've known for about 2 years now, and he said he'd heard some iffy things about Dan, but had never met him personally. I then called my ex to check a few things. First, I apologized for the awkwardness at the restaurant when he waited on us. I then asked for his version of the story without giving details of what I heard. His version had maybe one common point, but the rest of it was pretty different, particularly the date and location (totally different city). I definitely knew that he hadn't gone on any trips close to the time that Dan mentioned this happening, and I was later able to find several photos on Facebook that helped confirm that this was a trip he went on some time after our breakup.

Something else I heard from my ex was that Dan has been coming through the restaurant  every week with a different guy, always paying for both of them and pretty much flaunting his money (something I actually got kind of annoyed about while dating was that Dan simply would not let me pay for anything, and would insist that he pay for both of us). 

That leads me to one other thing that bothered me. At one point a family friend of Dan's family was visiting and wanted to get some drinks with Dan. Also, this guy was Dan's ex, who had apparently lied and cheated on Dan. This is actually a story Dan told me himself: after the family friend had a few drinks, Dan pours his entire drink over this guy's head. Now I get that he had apparently done some jacked up stuff, but pouring a drink over his head over something that happened years ago seemed way too Hollywood drama to me. Dan tried to justify it and I just left it alone.

After collecting all this information and reflecting on everything I knew from personal interaction, I decided to send the following text to Dan:

&gt;*(6:00pm)* A few things have been brought to my attention, and this is the last willful interaction I will have with you. Do not message, call, or otherwise try to get in touch with me again. I will send the gift I ordered to your house. You will not be receiving further responses from me.

And his replies:

&gt;*(6:09pm)* May I ask what happened?

&amp;#x200B;

&gt;*(6:10pm)* Did something happen on you end or mine?

&amp;#x200B;

&gt;You know what I just have to say your a complete asshole. I thought we was friends. Then you shoot me a text and say you never wanna talk to me or see me again and for what reason you did not explain. You talked about always being honest and blunt so I'm still waiting because the was a pretty vague text. But I have a feeling you won't even reply to this text message, so guess what I don't need your gift save yourself the 20 dollars and cancel the order because I think you need it more then me. *\[smiley face emoji\]*

I did feel bad about the way I went about cutting him off without explaining things, but the last sentence definitely cemented some of things I was wary of concerning him. Still, I know I'm biased, and while I don't regret cutting him out, I do wonder if I was really an asshole in this situation. Hopefully this post is semi coherent, I'm not the greatest at translating my thoughts to "writing". Anyway, have at it.

&amp;#x200B;