Backstory: Me (22F) and my boyfriend (M25) have been dating around a year. We live around 100+ miles from his family. We go and visit his family as often as we can, but it is still sometimes several weeks before we can go see them. When we do get together, we have a great time and everyone gets along. The only person I have any problems with his is mom, as she’s constantly comparing me to his last girlfriend. The ex is studying to be a doctor, 4.0 GPA, captain of her sports team, and a very religious person. I’m currently taking a break from school, due to monetary issues, but I do have my own goals and dreams to take care of, I’m just a little off schedule. Of course whenever my bf’s mom does this, he stands up for me, but it still is a constant part of my relationship with his mother.

Anyways, my boyfriend’s birthday is today. We had planned to spend his birthday with his family this Sunday, and spend a few days up in their city, but his mom wanted to plan a surprise party and show up to our apartment on his birthday. 

I made sure my bf had the day off, and I tried my best to get the day off, but I still have to work until 3pm. I tried to work out several plans with his mom, to make sure he was out of the house until 3. However, instead of waiting for me, his family has decided to throw his party without me there, including his birthday lunch and everything. 

I feel a little snubbed, because his mom already doesn’t like me, because I just can’t compare to his last girlfriend. The fact that she did not try to meet me half way and just cut me out entirely really upsets me. And I just feel like I’m purposely being not included, and his mom would have gone out of her way to make sure she was there. Of course I’m not going to let this get in the way of giving my boyfriend the best birthday ever, but am I being the A-hole and overreacting?