Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : For Context: My parents have been divorced for round about 5 years. I‘m currently 18 ( living at my mothers place ) so when they made said decision I was 13 and most of my teen-years were therefore heavily impacted by that. In these years both of my parents have equally tried, no clue whether or not intentionally, to ruin the iteration of the family we had before the divorce. And to be honest, while I definitely suffered from it, I can understand that. They held grudges against each others for various reasons. What I disliked is their lack of communication and their repeated efforts to use me and my siblings against each others. Long story short, they had a very toxic relationship the last few years.

As the title suggests my mother is currently suffering from cancer and was diagnosed earlier this year ( Breast cancer ). While it‘s rarely lethal it‘s still putting a massive toll on her and us. Luckily she‘s almost through the Chemotherapy and everything‘s going good so far. 
I remember a talk I had with her shortly before her first Chemo. It was very emotional and during it she repeatedly told me how awful my father was and how helpless she feels that she apparently tried to sneak back into her life by visiting her at the hospital. Again, I was well aware of their respective opinions for each other. It definitely wasn‘t a surprise. 

Fast forwards to today, we celebrated Thanksgiving together with my father, we were going to celebrate Christmas with him ( he apparently has no time that evening ) and are going on a „Family“ Dinner on the 25th. On top if that he came to my mothers Birthday party and has been at our house very frequently the last few months. 
So you could think that‘s good news? I, on the other hand, am totally uncomfortable. It seems so surreal to me. I can not enjoy anything once both of my parents take part in it. 
I did not have an actual conversation with either of them about my concerns yet. I‘m well aware that that could solve quite a few things but due to various reason I didn‘t. 

I will ask again: Am I the Asshole for declining the invitation to a Christmas „Family“ Dinner from my mother? Am I the Asshole for not talking to my parents about my concerns? Am I the Asshole for not embracing the fact that my parents and siblings prefer the current situation? 

