My wife and I were with good friends the other night, having drinks and playing games. Later in to the night the party unconsciously divides itself between the men and the women. The women were sitting down at a table talking, and I was watching March Madness with the guys. We’re all talking and laughing when one of the girls walks up behind me, cackles, and says for the whole group of people to hear, “Your mom is the blow-job queen!”. I was so surprised and put-off I responded with, “...hehe...what are you talking about?” Another girl walks up behind her and follows with, “Ya your mom gives the best blow jobs, hahaha, she’s the queen.” Nothing more is said. At this point I’m so surprised two people have repeated that, so I shutdown. I’m not making a frown face, crying, or being aggressive or mean. I just decide to continue watching TV and not talking. 

My wife quickly tells everyone that she has to work early in the morning (which was true), so we will have to leave. After some awkward hugs goodbye (I’m sure our friends could sense something was up), we get in the car. Immediately I am pressed with how I humiliated my wife, how I made it awkward for everyone, and how I was being selfish and unreasonable. I’m so shocked at my wife saying this I get angry. I ask her how she would respond if someone talked about her mother that way. She responds with, “We we’re talking about a game at my bachelorette party and your mom won the game!”. This is the first time I’m getting context. She then proceeds to continue trying to tell me I am wrong because our friends intent wasn’t malicious. I then get upset because not once did she try to understand things from my perspective (zero context to the mom statements, no clarification from friends, etc). 

I felt like she wasn’t on my side and didn’t try to understand where I was coming from, or why I would be upset. I’m embarrassed for shutting down in public, and now I’m dealing with a marital argument. Am I the asshole?