Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : okay so I’ve (28/M) been with my GF (25/F) for nearly 4 years. We’re currently on holiday and last night we went out for a couple drinks and she was quite drunk. We had a conversation of what it’s gonna be like when we get married ( we both know it’s not for a good few years yet), it was nice discussing what we both wanted and for the most part I just agreed with her wishes and dream. It was sweet but all hypothetical. Anyway, at one point she said she wants me to give up smoking before we get married, I agreed because I want to too and said I’d make a deal with her that I will give up this year after my birthday in May and if I didn’t I had to buy her some Jimmy Chu’s and if I did I have to spend and extra £1k on the engagement ring.

Now I want to point out that she’s not normally so money driven. Like most girls her age she likes expensive designer things but is definitely not with me for money as I have none. We split bills all the time and tbh as she doesn’t have to pay rent she treats me to small things more often than I treat her. 

When I’ve personally thought about weddings I just think it’s a colossal waste of money. If it were entirely up to me it would be a very small affair with only close family and friends in a modest back garden setting with modest wedding stuff. With all the money saved I’d rather spend more on a lovely honeymoon for my bride and I instead of paying for an expensive meal for random family members and friends I barely know. Obviously, it’s not all up to me and I would want her to be happy and get what she wants.. within reason. 

When I said I would only spend 1.5k on a ring she got very huffy and told me she’d say No if she didn’t get the ring she wanted. I think marriage should be about love and it shouldn’t matter what ring you get, she should either be happy that I’m asking to spend my life with her or not want to be with me anyway. She stopped talking to me last night and this morning she’s saying it was drunken argument and we should forget it but she stands by everything she said last night.

I feel quite hurt by it and it’s not something that can be swept under the rug as it’s our future. It’s changed my opinion of her and I can’t just stop thinking about it. I love her to death and never felt this way about anyone, we’ve had four lovely years but I’m sure this argument will keep tearing its ugly head. Am I being an arsehole? 