I have a couple friends who are in a band and rarely play near our hometown any more.
Last night they played and I didn't go because another friend was home Korea for the weekend but they mentioned the band is playing nearby soon.
Here's the thing a former friend is also friends with them a n d I have no desire to see this person. Our friendship ended for who knows why, although I accept the bulk of the blame she has gone out of her way to be cruel when I troed to apologize or talk things out. 
I have never and would never told anyone to choose between us and I know she has. If I am straight and tell them "she will be there and the places you play aren't big enough to avoid her" knowing that they have a great affection for her and it might upset them WIBTA?
