So for context, in the past I used to really dig my heels in the ground about walking the dogs simply due to outright laziness. When I was in high school, one the excuses was that I was too tired after school — and although true, wasn’t a good excuse since my mom is tired after work. Other times I outright refused. 

In the present day, however, I am physically incapable of walking the dogs on some nights. I have been struggling with anorexia and although I have been trying to recover, I am still actively restricting. Due to the restricting I have done in the past and am doing currently, along with a large amount of weight I lost in a short amount of time, my physical health has taken a huge toll. 

I am currently being monitored about a heart arrhythmia, and also having rapid heart rate all of the time. No matter if my eating is more in the day, I also cannot stand or walk for long (normal) amounts of times. Going from a sitting to standing position leaves me winded, out of breath. 

I have explained this to my mom — who is a therapist by the way — and she has not been able to grasp that I am not refusing to walk the dogs due to how it was before. Also, before my physical health took a decline, I was walking the dogs every single day for over eight months. Before those eight months I was away and not living at home. 

&gt;&gt;When my sister is at home (she’s away at school), she is not required to walk the dogs — so if I’m not well enough to walk the dogs it still falls on my mother — which doesn’t make sense but whatever. 

I have had many conversations with my mother about my condition and have apologized to her. I have been intermittently walking the dogs when I’m able to as well. However, whenever I’m feeling too weak or too fatigued my mom will come home and start saying how she is so exhausted from work and how the dogs must be miserable having to wait for her when I’m there to walk them. When she get back from taking them out she will say “are you healthy enough to take off their leashes?” 

She will always say she doesn’t understand and so I’ll talk with her again and we will go into a back and forth, and I’ll offer to send her information about the physical effects I am feeling. 

I have also tried to get her to come meet with my dietitian but with no avail. 

My siblings text me saying “why aren’t you helping mom with the dogs?” all of the time no matter how much I explain to them either. 

I feel so guilty that I make my dogs suffer when they have to wait to go out and I hate fighting with my mom, but I also don’t want to pass out while walking my dogs. 

Am I the asshole? Is this all my fault? I don’t know what to do 😞

