Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : This happened like a year ago but I’m thinking about it because tonight I went on a date with a guy who looked so much like the guy I used to date. 

So over a year ago I (22-23 at the time) was seeing this guy (30). I was head over heels for him by our second date and stopped seeing anyone else I was casually dating. Our chemistry was amazing, he came to visit me at work every weekend, and I spent around 4 nights a week at his apartment. My friend told me they thought he and I were soul mates. When we first began seeing each other, I asked what he was looking for (I would end up asking this about 5 times in the 3-4 months we were seeing each other). He said he wasn’t sure because his last girlfriend had broken his trust somehow after he introduced her to his friends and family (he never went into detail). He also says he doesn’t like the term “dating.” I was looking for a relationship and didn’t want to be used for sex so I asked him to spend some time thinking about it because I didn’t want to be be a fwb. Every time I  brought it up he said he said he hadn’t thought about it or that he liked our relationship being vague, despite me telling him I don’t like keeping things vague. 

About 3 months later he’s giving me very mixed messages. He says he loves me, and talks about possibly meeting his family, but then says things like “if we were really dating” and reveals that he doesn’t refer to me by name but as his “bartender friend” to his friends. He also was frequently condescending to me for being a college dropout while he had a PhD, and he also said to me I could never understand depression despite him knowing I have depressive episodes. 

In the end I felt frustrated constantly asking him where we were going and his condescending attitude. While at work I texted him that I’d rather we pursue friendship because he didn’t seem to know what he wanted. I know breakups over text are generally not okay, but since he didn’t see us as dating and didn’t ever seem to take the time to decide what he wanted, I thought he wouldn’t care. I apparently was wrong. 

We spent days arguing, in which he criticized me for doing it over text, that even though we weren’t dating, we were dating (what does that even mean??), and he proceeded to blame me for him cutting himself afterwards. After refusing to take responsibility for him hurting himself, he got angry that I wouldn’t “take responsibility for anything.” 

I honestly felt like he didn’t care about our relationship. I also felt like he acted very coldly when I got emotional, and I knew I would cry if I ended it in person. I genuinely was under the impression he wouldn’t mind that I needed it over text because I felt like he didn’t care about me that much, which is the only reason I didn’t that way. I felt more emotionally invested and thought my emotions would make him feel bad. Am i Still the asshole?

Also I’m drunk, sorry for any typos