My stepdad recently adopted me since my birth father was never really in my life. I have my birth father’s last name and I don’t want to go through the process of changing because I am in a serious relationship and am likely to get married in the next 3-5 years. Since I plan on changing it my boyfriends’s last name when we get married, I don’t want to go through the name change process twice in such a short amount of time. This upsets my mother and thinks I’m not being grateful to what my stepdad has done for us over our lives.  My mom hyphenated her last name with his when when they got married.  I have an older brother who has my mom’s maiden as his last name and he refuses to change his name for unknown reasons. If anything I feel like they should be mad at him not me since he’s only going to go through this process once in his life. Am I the asshole here?