Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Throwaway. TLDR at the bottom.

&amp;#x200B;

Background: My SO and I have been together for three years and live together with our dog. All of our couples friends have been getting engaged or married recently. Whenever someone asks us what our marriage plans are my SO is quick to say we are just happy being together and not worried about that part of the future yet. Realistically, we are nowhere near being ready to get engaged, but I think after three years it is a discussion we should start having. Normally we are very happy together. He is my best friend and I know he would no absolutely anything to keep me safe. You will not hear about any of his wonderful redeeming qualities in the rest of this post.

&amp;#x200B;

My SO rarely talks about his feelings, particularly about me, our relationship, and our future together. He does not make pans with me the way most couples seem to and, frames things as though we are complete individuals, not a couple. (For example, if he wants to get dinner with someone, he'll always say something like 'I'm going to get dinner with so-and-so tonight' and my invitation is supposedly implied, rather than ever asking/inviting me, or even using we/us instead of I/me when he makes plans.) We don't often cuddle and we aren't intimate very often. My SO's family lives fairly close so we see them often, and I feel like part of their family. However, my family lives farther away my SO is always disgruntled to spend time visiting them, (or even having dinner with them if they visit our city) and has started a fight nearly every trip we've made together. When one of my friends invites us to parties or gatherings, my SO will tell me I should bring my sister or literally anyone else as a +1 as he is fairly introverted. He says these things are because he values his free time more than anything else and does not want to have to answer to someone else's schedule.

&amp;#x200B;

All of these things contribute to me sometimes feeling like we are just friends with occasional benefits or roommates vs a couple.  My SO will occasionally drop something hinting that he wants us to be together for a long time like, 'I'm upset when you call the dog mine, not ours, because it sounds like you don't think we'll stay together and he's basically our practice for how we'd raise a child together." He's been complaining about having to take care of the dog alone in the morning and wants me to wake up earlier to help so he can leave for work earlier. He already wakes up before me, showers, then gets back in bed until 15 minutes before I need to leave, and then takes the dog out after it's time for me to go. I already do all of the cleaning around our apartment, dishes, and feed/take the dog out in the afternoon and evening.

&amp;#x200B;

Recently, my best friend went through a break up with a long term partner and  that led me to asking my SO how he saw our future together. He got very defensive and said he doesn't like to talk about feelings. Claimed I am obsessed with religion when I asked about about us raising mixed religion children, and was adamant that I am not a minority (I am light skinned but a religious/ethnic minority) when I said passing on my heritage was important and I wanted my SO to support me in teaching my children about that heritage. When I asked what their feelings were about our future he whined that he didn't want to talk about it, didn't know what I wanted him to answer, and should not worry about our future together until we get to the point of marriage.

&amp;#x200B;

Getting him to discuss the future is like pulling teeth, and while I am not ready to get engaged it is still something I think we need to discuss before moving the relationship forward any farther. Out of desperation I am starting to feel like the only way to make any plans or come to any conclusions is to issue an ultimatum.

&amp;#x200B;

TLDR: I do not want to get engaged or married not having a plan for things like how we'll spend holidays or raise kids. I don't want to spend my life feeling like a roommate and not a partner. WIBTA for telling my SO if they don't start pulling some weight, treating me more like a partner, and honestly discussing our futures by the time our lease ends I will move out and leave them?