Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Some context here: first trimester preg with first child, both my mother and my MIL are widwives (I know, please feel sorry for me). MIL works at the local hospital where we will most likely give birth. Mother lives in another city 4 hours away and is no longer working as a midwife, but has probably 2 decades worth of experience.

I have a great relationship with them both, and have always been very close to my mother. We only recently told our parents that we are pregnant, so its still new and settling news. My mother messaged me today asking if I want her to be there on the day, to which I said of course - but that I had also thought about asking MIL to be there too, she is very close to my husband and, I feel, close enough to our lives that having her there would be ok for me.

Mother sort of blew up about it - not exactly characteristic for her. She said it was a right of passage for mother-daughter relationships for her to be the one there and if I invite MIL then she won't feel welcome to be there/won't want to be there with her. I just like things to be fair, and its first grandchild for both of them so I thought to myself: have all the powerful women I respect with me when it happens and it will be a special time. It just made her more upset when I tried to explain why I might want MIL there.

I don't know what to do. I know we have HEAPS of time before we even think about who will be present at the birth but I don't want to offend my MIL by blocking her out just because of my mum, but at the same time I want to share that special experience with my mother. I thknk her own mother wasn't able to be at my birth, which may have something to do with it.

I just want everyone to be happy and enjoy the event. It only happens once.