Hear me out. I know that mental illness isn't the person's fault, and I know that it's not something that easy to fix. But I need to know if I'm an asshole for acting the way I do because of it. I (19 F) am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD. For the past month, I've been having breakdown after breakdown, followed by periods of emotional numbness and sometimes hostility, but an overall general feeling of hopelessness and self-hatred. During these times, my spouse (24 M) has been by my side through the whole thing. There for me when I need him and so on. However, when I get depressed, I feel like I'm making him feel like I don't appreciate what he does for me. Whenever I get like this, I always feel like I'm making him feel not good enough to make me happy or like he's not a good husband, which is far from the truth. No matter how many time he tells me that I'm wrong and that he loves me and he's alright, I can't help but feel like he's only telling me that to make me feel better, and that he actually feels how I think he does. The tiny logical part of my brain says that it's the depression, but everything else is telling me that I'm just a burden on him and that he deserves so much better than a whiny girl with mental issues. He has such big dreams and potential, but every time he comes up with some convoluted idea, I shoot him down. He says this is me bringing him back to Earth and that he needs someone like that, but again, I feel like that's just him saying that to make me feel better. 

I genuinely am not sure how to process these emotions, and I'm probably posting on the wrong subreddit... but I need an unbiased 3rd party to give me genuine and unfiltered advice on this. 