Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : My husband (38m) and I (35f)have been together for 10+years, married for 7. We have 2 kids, 8yo &amp; 4yo. 

In the marriage I have always been the breadwinner &amp; financially supported the family. We’ve faced many challenges over the years including him cheating on me before we were married, and then me feeling as though he’s not doing enough to help me support our family. He’s been in and out of work &amp; has been a weed smoker which he sees nothing wrong with but I’ve felt he’s used as a crux not to face issues in our marriage. In response to my needing support from him he feels I am nagging him and being impatient &amp; treating him poorly by not recognizing his contributions to the relationship. I had an emotional affair which ended but I have been unable to really shake the feeling of actually have someone who made me feel cared about even just emotionally because I I get so little of it in the marriage. My husband &amp; I talked about it a lot and it usually ends on him yelling at me calling me a cheater. He has involved our families both of whom are religious and made it clear that they don’t want us to end the marriage. He threw me under the bus revealing to our parents that I had an affair after which my mother said a prayer to seek forgiveness for my sins. I revealed to my mom that there was an incident between my husband and I where he had sex with me while I was unconscious &amp; drunk, which made me feel completely violated. It hasn’t changed her mind and the most hurtful thing she said to me is that she hopes my husband gets the kids because that’s what I deserve. She is furious with me that she feels I am not open to her advice about staying in the marriage but I am frustrated that nobody is listening to me &amp; I am feeling attacked by everybody that is close to me, especially my husband who I feel is using my parents to guilt trip me into staying married while refusing to acknowledge any of his issues, only mine. We went to couples counseling &amp; the therapist said we were beyond repair. He refused to go complaining about cost. I pay for his health insurance and he doesn’t go consistently. I have gone alone to therapy for about 6 months now to try and address my own issues. It’s helped but it’s still a difficult situation.

I have a lawyer &amp; I’ve filed the initial divorce paperwork. He has been difficult and is threatening to demand alimony and custody of the kids. He is living in the house which I am paying for the mortgage and bills for in full. I am in a hotel at the moment while my kids are with my sister for spring break as I don’t want the conflict because I am just spent &amp; tired. I am just tired. I often catch myself thinking, am I the crazy one? I’m hurting my children. My parents are so upset with me. Am I the asshole? 