I'm asking because I genuinely have no idea whether I'm doing the right thing. 

My sister has mental health issues that are particularly ill at evening and night-time. I've been there for her for months, but tonight I just didn't have the energy. She has called me a few times tonight and flat-out asked if I can come over to help, but for the first time, I have said I need some rest and to get some work done.

I've moved back home with my parents to help her, and she lives in her own apartment in the same building. There are only two people that calm her down (to some extent), and that is me and my brother. My brother can't be there for her because he is going through a lot too, and is battling his own mind.

She is in treatment 3 times every week, but it hasn't helped. She has been severely depressed for over 10 years, and it only continues to get worse.

A normal night will start with us playing games, but she will gradually become hysterical. This happens every single night. She begins with becoming hyper, then hysterical, and then become delirious. A regular night involves self-harming in front of me, running outside to hurt herself, locking herself into the bathroom with medicines or a knife, being aggressive and violent towards me, crying hysterically and over-eating. It's clear that she is just looking for an outlet. She feels so hysterical and desperate, but nothing seems to give her peace... 

I don't know what to do, but I have no more energy. It just doesn't get better, and I think she needs professional help. The doctors believe she is in the right treatment, but I can't see any improvement. I'm certain she will hurt herself tonight while I'm gone, and worried she will do something worse. I don't know what to do, but I have nothing more to give.   


Still, it makes me feel like an asshole to not be there for her even though she is suicidal, should I pull myself together and go another mile? I can hear her crying hysterically through the wall, but I'm just sitting here enjoying a few hours of my own company.