So for the last few years I've been struggling with depression. I used to be very vocal about it, posting about how I wished for death's embrace on public platforms and sharing depression memes/posts. These days though, I've been doing better since I started getting professional help and making lifestyle changes (like cutting out depression and suicide jokes from my social media feeds) months ago.

I have friends who also have depression. We've been friends even before I started getting help, and we still talk though not as often as we used to. I try my best to support them during their episodes since they're either unwilling or unable to get help due to lack of time, money, or just the belief that it won't get them anywhere.

Sometimes though, it feels weirdly suffocating to talk to them. The dynamic we have just isn't the same and there are times when I feel like my mind's going back to a bad place when suicide gets brought up. I want to help them but the ways that worked for me either don't work for them or they're unwilling/unable to try, so I just don't know what to do and end up feeling helpless as well.

Am I the asshole for wanting to slowly distance myself from them because of this? I care about them but at the same time I just can't handle the heaviness of depression talk with them anymore, and it feels like we get nowhere when we talk about their problems. We don't really have much keeping us together other than the ranting and venting because we don't really have much in common other than being depressed.
