Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Here goes nothing. 

I’m a 25f working a retail job where there’s a LOT of people employed. SO many people that I feel I’m meeting new people everyday and also forgetting someone exists for months. I’m the kind of friendly that will chat and laugh with anyone, honestly. 

From stage right enters Paul. I’ve known Paul since day one at this job. But six months in, we finally get to talk more than a quick hello and goodbye. And Paul? Is a fucking nerd. Just. Like. Me. 

We are VIBING. We’re cackling and hollering. We like the same fandoms, the same genres, we like the same kind of TEA. So we become buddies, right? 

We go for food, chat about geek shit. We go see a geek movie. I meet his geek friends. We keyboard smash to each other, it’s great. And this is over the course of, let’s say, 3 months. I decided to get him a teeny gift cause I’d thought he’d like it. He decided to get ME a little gift cause he’d thought I’d like it. 

He legit looked me in the eyes and said “you’re cool people. I like you. I wanted you to know that.” And I said, “hey man. I like you too. It’s nice to know cool people like you exist.” 

Everything seemed kosher until I got an actual letter from him that said he wanted to spend his future with me. 

And I’m mortified. Because, remember I said I worked in a big store where I meet new people and forget about people? It’s hard to keep track of everybody right? Which I didn’t realize might be the case. 

Because, people of reddit, I am a 25f who is a LESBIAN. And I don’t know how to handle myself in the face of what may have been a long term heterosexual courting that I did not recognize because I naively thought men and women could be platonic friends??? 

AM I THE ASSHOLE? For not realizing what it meant? Did I lead Paul on? I haven’t even responded to their letter because I can’t handle myself? I honestly feel so embarrassed and there’s a little voice in my head that’s telling me I’m a whore and that it was my fault. 

I don’t think he’s a homophobe or that I’ll be in danger if I come out to him. But I’m MORTIFIED. I’m not someone who can easily hurt someone’s feelings, but I’m clearly doing that here by ignoring it. 