This is a doozy, bare with me.

When I was 16, my first girlfriend, also 16, became pregnant. Her parents literally uprooted their whole lives to move away due to it. We found out one day, I was barred from seeing or contacting her or her family by threats of police involvement the next day. I was a dumb 16 year old: I was scared of my parents, scared of her parents getting police involved, so it was a "secret". 

My parents still don't know because I don't even know what I would tell them. It was literally a month later they were gone. No trace at all. To give an idea of my girlfriend's thoughts, she was scared but didn't hate me or anything. It really boiled down to her ultra-conservative parents. This was before Facebook and before teens had cellphones, etc, there wasn't really a place I could follow her, at least not for a couple of years.

I'm 33 now. I'm married, I have a daughter who's 3. I still think about my ex-girlfriend. I never forgot. I wasn't able to find her on Facebook until a couple of years ago. She also has a daughter, my daughter, a 16 year old. She looks so strikingly like me, it's unreal. She looks more like me than my 3 year old.

If there's anything I want more in life, is to reconnect. I always wanted this. I would have dreams, very frequently, about meeting my older child, even before I saw photos. I would give my house, all my money, everything but family to make my family bigger.

But my then-girlfriend is married now to someone else. They have an established life. Hell, I have an established life. It becomes an internal struggle between wanting to reconnect more than life itself versus potentially putting their lives into catastrophe. I can't just inject myself into their lives, it would have a negative net sum I'm sure. Plus I don't know how my wife would react, I haven't even told her. I assumed they had a termination and that was that, so it never came up. I should have in retrospect.

WIBTA if I reached out to connect with my then-girlfriend? What if I reached out to my daughter?