I like to surprise my husband with massages and it being Valentines day soon, I figured hed appreciate one. I was in a BST group on Facebook and someone recommended one that we hadnt used before and it was a running a Valentine's day special - so I thought, what the hey? 

Dropped him off at the parlor, me and our kids got dinner and then went to Chuck E Cheese to wait out the hour massage.

He arrives a little later and the first thing he says is "Im gonna need a blow job tonight." I smiled and said "Was she sexy?" (Im bi. I dont mind if he looks.) And he said no and then told me that he thought I knew I signed him up for a tantric massage. Which is basically massaging around (and on) his genitals to give him a semi and then massage elsewhere to let him go flaccid. Even though the ad (https://imgur.com/a/cyYX5aH) listed no such "treatment".

I was stunned and didn't quite know what to say. Then he told me about what she said when he got in there. "Oh your wife signed you up for this? She must be pretty awesome." "Some guys have to relieve themselves in the middle of the procedure. Just let me know and Ill get you a towel."

He went along with it because he thought its what I signed him up for. We have a good strong relationship, and theres a very slim potential that I could have signed him up for it. We'd been in seperate polyamorous relationships in the past, we watch porn together.

We get home, he shows me the massages she performed and I pretend to be ok. He gets his blow job and goes to bed. I stay up thinking about the massage non-stop. Eventually I tell him that Im not ok with what happened. That I want to be mad at him but I cant be. He says he should have left. He says it was stupid to stay.


He should have left. He should have called. He should have texted. He should have asked. We have 2 kids under 3 yrs old so sex is... Scarce. I feel like he didnt call me because secretly he wanted the massage... Whether I was ok with it or not. :(


Here it is almost a week later and I still cant stop thinking about it. I dont want to touch him because I cant stop thinking about her touching him. I usually give him massages and back rubs all the time... But I cant..

P.s. I'm not angry... Just upset, depressed and defeated. This happened the 13th.

AITA for not wanting to touch him?