There's a kid (Edward) who sits next to me and brings salad to class every single day in a plastic container. And everyday, he takes a little packet of the ranch, drizzles it on top, closes the lid, and ... begins shaking. Edward goes to town on that salad like it's a maraca and it's LOUD. He won't stop for at least 10 minutes, and I've timed it (with occasional brakes that only makes it that much more annoying when he starts again). And to top it all off, he starts cronching on that salad for the rest of period when we have lunch the very next period. It's the shaking that gets to me more than the crunching though. 

I've asked him to stop. I've asked him to just drizzle it over like a normal human being. I've asked him to mix it in the container with a fork like a slightly less normal human being. But he won't and he claims "it tastes better this way."

A week ago, I was extra pissed since I failed my stat test the period before, so when Edward began his ritual again, I kinda lost it. I picked up my water bottle and started vigorously jacking it.

&amp;#x200B;

Edward paused for a moment, "What are you doing?"

Me: "Shaking my water bottle." \*shake shake\*

Edward: "Stop it."

Me: "Why?" \*shake shake\*

Edward: "Stop it! You're mocking me."

Me: "What? No, it tastes better this way." \*shake shake\*

Edward: "You're an asshole."

Me: \*shake shake\*

&amp;#x200B;

Every since then I've begun shaking my water bottle whenever he shakes his salad. He gets pissed and calls me a dick, but he's stopped shaking his salad the last few days. Mission was a success, but do my methods make me an asshole?

Note: Our teacher won't let us change seats because I need a better reason than, "we don't get along."