Context: I had a girlfriend for 3 years, we had a sort of rocky beginning, we broke up, got back together, sort of one of those kinds of relationships. But regardless we loved each other and always would come back (I guess we were just too young and didn't realize what was staring us right in the face). The last time we saw each other we ended up starting a friends with benefits sort of thing and, being a little more mature than I had been the last time we broke up I decided I would try and be the boyfriend I hadn't been, and even though we were not exclusive I would make sure that I would be to show her that maybe she could give this another shot. So anyway, I have been in a lot of relationships in my life and I am not sure if its my personality (I am quite a fun person to be around I laugh a lot I'm super positive all the time and I guess some people like to take advantage of that and exploit my good nature), but I tend to be in relationships that either end badly or ones where the other party is found to be unfaithful. But not this Girl, for the sake of this story lets call her Stephanie. Stephanie never cheated on me, I had complete trust in her, and the reason these other relationships would end badly was that I'd always end up uncovering those secrets people had, I'd always end up finding out things I would rather not know, a pretty stark realization that ignorance really is bliss. But I trusted Stephanie not just with daily life, but I trusted her that she would never intentionally do something to hurt me or my heart.

Anyway, we started this whole FWB thing just as I was starting my first year at college. So I decided I would seldom go out and get too drunk and I wouldn't hook up with anyone because I wanted to prove to myself and her that this time it would be different and I was more mature and ready for a steady start to something new. This continued for a while, and I started getting those gut feelings that she wasn't being honest with me, that there was something wrong. But given that Stephanie never gave me any reason to suspect that she would be lying to me in our 3 years together, I decided that it was nothing and I was being paranoid. But I could never get rid of that feeling deep down in my stomach, and the only way that I could forget about it and feel normal was to play video games alone in my room or smoke weed. Those were the only two things that helped, and I also worked out every morning with my roommate which also helped but not as much. Given that information, you could probably take an educated guess and assume that my grades took the full force of this bad situation and while I didn't flunk out of school, I did not get good grades and the result of that was a wasted year of college and the grades to show it.

I would also like to give some more context as to the nature of this "FWB" situation we had together, we almost completely pretended it was an exclusive relationship, we'd go on dates, we would spend time at each other's houses, we'd text like we were in a relationship, it was like a dog shit that was gift wrapped perfectly, beautiful on the inside but as soon as you start to open it, it smells like shit. I had told her multiple times I was still in love with her while drunk, she had mistakenly said that she loved me at least 3 times while we were together, so given all that I really thought I had a chance to rekindle what we had lost.

Well one night I had had enough, she had texted me she was at a party, I was at school at the time, and that she would be staying over at some random guys house, and given that I had fallen yet again head over heels for this girl, it made me feel like a used napkin, like all she wanted was the emotional and sexual support in a relationship without the actual commitment to being exclusive to one another. I called her the next day and said that I would leave if she didn't tell me everything which she did, the late nights she would spend with other guys, all the encounters she had, and it really felt like someone had punched me in the stomach so hard that my lips and my mouth went completely dry and I sat there just trying to figure out what I would do, so, like any guy in love, I made the stupidest decision anyone could make, I said I was ok with it and that we should continue with our arrangement. +more time in video games, +more time smoking pot = bad grades = angry parents

Spring break rolled around, I had atrocious grades, my parents said that If I didn't turn things around, they would stop paying for school and I would have to drop out. I tried to text Stephanie, but she would only respond if I texted her on Instagram as well, which was bizarre. I then realised she had me muted on text and it had been like that our entire "FWB" trip. That was the last straw, I said that I was in love with her and that this was tearing me apart inside and that this had to stop. She never apologized and never took any wrongdoing saying that "I knew the rules and knew that she was allowed to see other people" so, with this new information, I completely broke down emotionally since this was literally the only girl I could have trusted, the one girl that I had held onto as something that I regretted and something I wanted back. So my grades never improved, I finished the year with probably a C-C+ average and decided to take a year off, gather myself, and see if I could do a second year. Well, I am currently about halfway through my brief sabbatical, I spent three months in France doing a program called WWOOF, I would work on farms and I get a free bed and free food. I came back for Christmas back home and now I found a job that pays well and is working while staying with my parents while we heal our relationship together (that's a whole other story), we got into a fight finally, and I told them everything about why I didn't do well in school and why I was always playing games and the such. And they would not understand that I had been depressed for my entire year at school and decided to cope with it in a way that affected my grades. They said to me that I threw away a year of my life, just because a girl had hurt me, and that it was my fault that I had destroyed my first year because of what had happened to me. My dad said to me that "You destroyed your first year for a girl?" With a facial expression that pretty much spelt out "Really? Are you kidding?". They pay for my college so it's understandable that they would be upset with my poor performance, but am I missing a part of their argument? Was it really something that should never have happened that I shouldn't have let this affect me so much? Am I The Asshole?

Spark Notes Version:

Girlfriend of three years decided to be FWB, she lied about seeing other guys, made me depressed and anxious all the time, got bad grades, parents were understandably upset about it, told them finally why, blamed me for letting it affect me so much and ruining my first year. AITA