**It's super long but context is important I believe in this case.**

&amp;#x200B;

I don't know where to begin. Maybe some back story on my mom?

My mom is the 2nd youngest of 5 kids. When she was growing up, until 8 years old, my mother and her siblings were abused physically and (the girls) sexually by their drunken father. My mom talks about the night her dad got drunk and lined her and her siblings up against the wall in the kitchen and smacked them all.

She said one night she got up because she heard screaming and went in the kitchen to find her mom tied to a chair and her dad cutting her eye lids with a knife. She cried about this quite a lot when she told me this story.

After a while she and her siblings were taken from both their parents because neither were fit to take care of them. My grandpa was a piece of shit and my grandma was okay from what I understand but was a paranoid schizophrenic.

From there my mom and her siblings were taken into foster care and split up. They were sexually and physically abused. My mom said she would go to a foster home and get abused or go to a good one only to be taken away from them after a few months or a year.

She had no motivation for school and dropped out. She had no idea how to take care of herself so she started using men as a way of surviving seeing as how she had learned no practical skills, failed high school and really didn't have a family to lean on. She was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic but denies it and hasn't taken medicine for it in over 20 years according to my dad.

&amp;#x200B;

I'm almost 20 now. Growing up my mom took care of me and my younger half-sister till I was 9. My mom was on housing assistance and food stamps, she didn't have a washer and dryer most of the places we lived so sometimes we wore dirty clothes to school. The only reason my dad let me live with her was because he was afraid she would kill herself and then me and my siblings would hold it against him.

Finally he got custody of me and my half-sisters dad got custody of her. After my mom didn't have her kids to take care of anymore she fell into deep depression and started heavily abusing drugs and pills. My mom used to be beautiful, 10 years later and she looks 20 years older, her teeth are very messed up from smoking meth I think.

Throughout her addiction she has given drugs to my siblings. Hardcore drugs like dope. She lives with my older sister right now and gives her drugs and pills and continues to help her ruin her life and be stuck in addiction. My other older sister overdosed when I was 10, was choking on her own blood and had to be med flighted if I remember correctly. My mom was there too. She still gives drugs to my siblings in exchange for them helping her get drugs and pills.

The last 10 years my mom has been helping my siblings destroy their lives and after driving my older sister to the hospital twice for overdoses and almost seeing her die I cannot fathom how my mom can give her kids drugs. She says "They're adults, they make their own decisions."

&amp;#x200B;

My mom had a very rough life growing up and a hard adult life as well. She just doesn't have the skills to be a proper parent. She never even got to see what normal parenting looks like and she has a mental illness.

I'm very conflicted between being mad at her and feeling sympathy. I can't imagine having gone through what she has and coming out the other end even slightly okay. I feel guilty for even getting mad at her for what she does and cried for a long time before writing this.

AITA for not wanting to talk to her anymore?