I grew up poor in one of the shittiest cities in the US.  Despite that, I was always fed and always got gifts on Christmas.  I only recently learned that my mom was putting herself into debt to always make sure my little brother and I had plenty of presents.  I'm thankful for her generosity, but it needs to stop.  At this rate, she's going to die in debt.

She's always bought for all my cousins, too.  And since my first cousins are having more and more kids, the number of people she wants to buy for keeps increasing.  I've pleaded with her for the past few years to just not buy gifts, trying to convince her that holiday shopping is not obligatory, that the kids all have plenty of toys and games already, that my brother and I don't need anything, and that that money would be of so much more use going towards future expenses.  She never listens though...saying that she needs to because my first cousins have always bought gifts for my brother and I, and that it will make her happy to buy the gifts/sad to not buy the gifts.

I should add that I'm 2.5 years out of college, and I have a decent job (65k+ in an area with relatively low cost of living).  Ever since getting this job, I've helped my mother financially as much as possible. She works at a school and doesn't get paid when the kids are on break, and I fully support her during those times.  I bought her a car and pay for all maintenance and sometimes gas.  I help her at random times when she won't be able to make ends meet in a given month. I've bought Christmas and birthday gifts, and I buy my brother things he wants and needs in her stead. I intend to pay off her credit cards over the coming few years.

I could buy all the gifts, but I just don't think it's necessary,  especially when I'd rather put it toward helping my mom and doing things with the people I would be buying for.  I take my brother to concerts and I'm taking the oldest cousin-once-removed skydiving next year.  I'd rather do more things like that and buy gifts that matter at some point in the future than add to their piles of stuff. In my family, the Aunts and Uncles all buy the kids cheaper things, and their ideas for gifts come from the parents telling them "so-and-so needs an xmas idea" and passing whatever they said along. Call me a Grinch or Scrooge, but the gifts that come from that are meaningless.

I write this as I wait for my mom to come over because she wants me to go Christmas shopping with her, and I'm incredibly frustrated.   If she didn't buy gifts this year, she could save that money for the next time she would need to "borrow" from me, meaning I could save what I set aside for her every month and could pay off her debt sooner.  But she just won't listen and sounds a bit like her heart is going to break if I wear her down. AITA for being so upset with her?

Tl;dr: My mom can't make ends meet without my help, but insists on buying a lot of Christmas gifts.  I want her to stop, but she's very emotional about it.  I'd rather help her with her debt than buy gifts in her stead.