So, I have a really good friends group—we are six people (me included) and get along extremely well. We are like siblings and do lots of things together. Basically, they are my best friends, so we hang out a lot. 

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Last year, my friend D. from our bff group became friends with someone at work and this someone (we'll call them R.) had just moved to our city at the time, so they were pretty much friendless. D. became her first friend and soon began wanting to introduce R. to the group. We were all enthusiastic about it because we love meeting new people! So R. met us at the restaurant and it went well. 

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The thing is, R. started become really possessive of D. I'm really close with D., she is the sister I never had and we always have each other's back. R. is bipolar and a big extrovert while I have Asperger's and am an introvert. While they is really nice, it's... exhausting to be around them a lot to be honest because they talk a lot and is really loud; also, they bring everything back to themselves on a regular basis. They really are looking for validation in everything (on instagram especially) and I'm absolutely not blaming them for it!! I totally get that. But it's becoming really obsessive and crushing. They make you feel like they know everything about the world (they are gifted—aka very high IQ) and it is really annoying (I also am gifted and have a very high IQ but I don't like showing off? Idk, anyway).

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The thing is, a little before Christmas, we went to the restaurant just the six of us (so, the bff group) aka a normal evening of hanging out as we always do. And R. saw that I. from our bff group posted stuff on insta in their story about us hanging out and R. lost it, sent us a very aggressive message the next morning telling us they cried all night and felt rejected by us because they thought they were part of the bff gang. We felt very bad about it because we didn't mean it at all—we were just hanging out together as usual? And we saw R. a total number of maybe four times, so they didn't exactly felt part of the bff group. Also, R. has BPD (borderline personality disorder) and I feel like it doesn't help their feeling of rejection.

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Ever since this happened, D., who was their first friend, has been really distant with R., and R. keeps asking me about D., if she's ok, if she said stuff about them, etc. And I feel very uncomfortable and awkward because R. really sounds jealous and I don't like it one bit. They keep making things revolve around themselves and it's starting to get on my nerves.

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TLDR: am I the asshole for being fed up with this situation and with R.? 