We are getting married with my partner soon and we want to start a family.
He has a very bad phobia of going to the doctor, getting tests done, being diagnosed etc. probably because of his traumatic experiences. Through high school/early college he had multiple lung surgeries that left him with many scars.
Couple of days ago I tried to convince him to get some blood tests done because he has some health issues. At first he freaked out and said he doesn’t want to go, eventually I eased him into the idea that health problems won’t go away just because you ignore them and diagnosis can actually help you get right treatment.
After that conversation I asked him if when we will have children he could try to not express his fears of doctors in front of them, so they are not scared as well. I told him I would like him to try speak of going to the doctor as something positive in front of them and only express this negativity when we are alone with no kids around. He agreed but I felt terrible guilt afterwards.
After all... I have fear of insects and if someone told me to not freak out when I see a giant bug it would be very difficult for me. Fear is something very difficult to control. I feel like I’m expecting too much of him...

In summary - Am I the asshole for wanting my partner to not express his fears and phobias in front of our future children so they are not scared of them too?