I am moving away from home two states away to start my new job. My mom has decided to throw a party the day before I leave and has invited a ton of people including family and some of my friends, but mostly family. She did this without asking me or telling me about it. I just randomly saw it as an event on Facebook 

I am not one to be the center of attention and I usually don’t like the spotlight to be on me. I usually just like my accomplishments to be known but not recognized. I usually don’t like to make a big to-do of my birthday or anything like that. Didn’t really want to have a graduation party for high school, mom threw one anyway. Didn’t have one for college, I was fine. 

I know that I won’t be coming home often and it would be nice for everyone that wants to see me to be able to come and chat for a little while but I’m just not into it. 

So would I be the asshole if I just asked my mom to call the whole thing off completely and we just go out to eat with a smaller group of friends or family. She’s had it planned for a few days now and I don’t want to hurt her or anyone else that planned on seeing me or seem selfish just because I don’t want something but I just don’t like these events or whatever you want to call them. 