Okay, before you hate me, here is some context. 

A while back I was the final say in whether or not my in law could move in with us. I was okay with it but cautious. It didn't end up working out because she threw a tantrum in front of my toddler, blatantly disrespected me and my position as a wife, and admitted to leaving shaving razors out so my son "would learn" that they're sharp (I previously asked her to place them higher in the shower, out of reach). I had enough of her being a rude guest and had her leave.

Fast forward a few days and I realize a "gift" she got me, one piece out of three in a facial cleansing thing, was missing. I asked my spouse to ask her about it next time he saw her. She told him that "[i] didn't like it nor use it so [she] took it." I later explained to my husband that her response was a lie, since she had seen me use it, complimented the results, and asked if I liked it which I always said yes. At this point I was annoyed she lied, adding onto the already rude behavior.

Fast forward to last week, she visited my husband for lunch. I asked him (she has me blocked everywhere) to tell her that I'm willing to let the past be past if she apologizes for the theft (I'm even okay with her just saying it was a misunderstanding at this point). He talks to her but she dismisses my attempt to fix our relationship by saying she "does not have the emotional capacity to deal with [me] right now." Okay I guess.

Fast forward to today. Since she doesn't want to admit to theft, the new rule is she can visit but not come into the house without me being there to make sure she doesnt get happy hands, per say. She stopped by while I was at work. I wasnt too happy about this so I went there on my break to make sure she understood the boundary. I parked at the entrance of our complex and made my way to our building when I saw her car approaching me. I didn't let her pass, so she rolled down her window.

I explained that she is not welcome here because of the theft, and unless she apologizes, she will not be allowed to enter my home. She changed her reason for the theft from the response earlier to "it was mine so I took it." I told her that's not how gifts work, and even explained that her original response was also not true. She told me, "I would buy a thousand of those [gift item] if it would shut you up." At this point I'm frustrated. I knew she was going on a road trip, so I said "I hope you crash on the way there." As I walked away she called me an evil bitch.

I know I could've passed on saying that, and I also know I could've been a lot more harsh. I'm so fed up with a woman twice my age treating me like garbage, despite me being the wife of her only son. 

Am I the asshole? 