My girlfriend, D, and I have been together for three months. I'm caucasian and she is of Chinese descent (this is relevant later). She lives in a co-ed dorm, and one of her neighbors, J, has a longstanding infatuation with her. I've known about J since before we started dating, and D has (too gently, I think) let him down on several occasions. She doesn't like to hurt people, which is admirable, but I think it's prolonged his crush because she hasn't been forceful enough in her desire to remain only friends. 

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 J is also of Chinese descent, which is part of his rationale for why they should date -- apparently it would make things "easier" for them to date within their own culture. Problem is, D has a pretty specific type: tall white guys. She of course hasn't told J this specifically, but she did tell me that he really resents that white guys date "all the good Asian girls." I can't decide whether this is a legitimate concern or bellyaching on his part. I want to sympathize, but it's hard because you can't really choose who you're attracted to.

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I finally met J last week when D and I were heading out to an orchestra concert. We were both in full formalwear and D had high heels and a figure-forming dress on. We were on our way past the common area on her dorm floor and this guy walks up to her and just launches into a conversation. He doesn't acknowledge me at all, no introduction, nothing. I'm trying to be polite and finally D introduces us and he just kind of gives me a "what's up" nod. Okay, fine. He's about her height when she has heels on - it's obvious this guy really is not her type so I'm not feeling threatened. But then he asks if she'll hold on for a minute, goes to his room, and comes back with a fucking teddy bear. He gives D the teddy bear, right in front of me, and said when he saw it, it made him think of her. She thanked him and we went to the concert (the teddy stayed in my car). 

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Now, I don't think of myself as a mean person. Most people who know me would find meanness not in my character. But all during that concert, all I could think of was making J suffer -- not terribly, but just enough to back off. So, I hatched my plan. I knew D's roommate would be out all week, which meant I would be able to stay over at her dorm. D and I started having sex on our second date. I have since learned that certain things will make her get very, very loud - to the point that she has to bite a pillow or risk sounding like she's being "murdered with sex," as she puts it. So, last night we had a very romantic evening out, and when we came back J was in his room with his door open studying. His room is directly north of D's and the walls in the building are pretty flimsy. You can hear other people's music or tv most of the time. She said "Hey" and then we both went into her room and closed the door. I proceeded to clear her bed of pillows, throw her down on it, and get down to business. I won't go into graphic detail, but she was very much caught up in the moment, and when she looked for a pillow to bite, there was none. So she just let it all out. For like fifteen or twenty minutes.

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At this point we're both giddy, and then it hits her. J was next door and she guessed he could hear everything. She immediately started feeling sad, worrying that hearing his crush in the throes of passion would be painful. I suggest that maybe that's something he needed to hear, in order to make it clear that he will never, ever be considered a sexual option for her. This made her even sadder, and she started to go on about what a great person he was, how he is really very kind and would make someone very happy, etc. She starts to get pissed off at me and saying I'm being mean. I tell her I'm sorry, she's right, and leave to go to the shared men's room down the hall.

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I walk past the common area and see J. He's just staring at me with the most intense look of pure, burning hatred. So I give him an innocent "what's up" nod and say, "Hey man, is there a water fountain on this floor? I am super dehydrated," and wipe some of the remaining sweat from my forehead. And I truly believe he deserved all of this, but here's where I wonder if I'm the asshole, because in that moment I was fucking thrilled to completely dunk on this dude. And that scared me a little, knowing there's some dormant, primal part of me that just wants to be king. J, for his part, never did tell me where the water fountain was.