Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST :  

A couple years ago I (21F) was dating a man (32 M) who had multiple marriages and multiple children. I’ll call him L. At the time we met, I was really lonely and seeking the kind of attention he gave me. I want to say it was around date 4 that he disclosed to me his history, so I was going into this relationship eyes open. I understand, I put myself in a horrible situation for a 21 year old female in college, so hold your judgement.

Anyways, it all came crashing down when my parents met him. My father, who is pretty traditional, confronted him about his kids and previous marriages, which is fair. I can understand that he wanted to know more about the almost 12 year older man dating his daughter, but it wasn’t an inquisitive line of questioning. It was hostile. L was calm and cool while defending his position while my father tried to physically escalate. I stepped in between them and told L to get in the car, because we were leaving. It was a 12 hour drive back to my state from my parents place. During this drive my parents unleashed something I had never seen before.

My father told me to not come home, because I was no longer his daughter. My mother warned me that I was about to be cut out of their health insurance plan. They even called the police to search my home for drugs (I only smoked weed occasionally at the time), because they would rather have me in jail than with this man. I wasn’t going to be able to afford the next semester on my own, and my anxiety felt unbearable, so I ended up dropping that semester to gather myself and figure out what my next step would be as a fully independent adult.

Eventually I was allowed back into the family and my parents offered to continue to pay my college tuition, but no other internal resolutions were ever reached. L and I broke up a couple months later due to a job opportunity for him, and I was single again.

Now when I go back to see my family, my father and mother will bring up the L situation and comment on my poor behavior and decisions. I respond by pointing out how heinous and ugly their actions were. They become defensive about their actions, and say their bad behavior is outweighed by everything else they have given me.

I understand I am INCREDIBLY lucky that I got a debt free college education, but I can’t just forget about what they did. Am I the asshole to continually respond to their comments with my true feelings?

TL; DR- My parents disowned me because of some stupid shit I did earlier in life. When I try to point it out, they say their behavior doesn’t matter because they paid for me college tuition.