Throwaway for reasons

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Background info:

I do have a invisible disability and 90% of the time I'm in pain and I just can't go out. It affect my stomach and I can't eat certain/most foods. My friends know about my disability because it eventually came to the point where didn't want them to think I'm bailing on them when they invite me to go out to eat. I'm not the type of person that tells people about every detail about my life, disability, financial issue, and etc.

I'm not working because my disability is affecting me 24/7. I tried to work full-time in a office for 2 months and my pain fucking tripled. Before that I was working part-time it was okay but I couldn't stand over 4-5 hrs and they never had any hours for me. 

I'm not on SS disability. I applied and they denied me. I'm in waiting process for a hearing. (it's been 2 1/2 years)

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I'm "that friend" that always cancels or makes excuses to not go out. Most of time I cancel on people. It's not because I want to cancel its because I'm poor. 

I don't have money to just throw on eating food out in expensive places, go to events, and etc. 

My friend invite me to go an convention for 3-4 days and obviously it would be awesome to go. I'm just stuck on what to say to them. My family is struggling to pay bills as is. You don't know how many fucking time I've crying into a panic attack because my family can't even afford basic needs.

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*Even if I wanted to go this would be the prices:*

*Flight - $140*

*Hotel- $160/per night*

*Food-$50/ per day*

*Tickets- $60 for one day at convention*

*More stuff they want to do: $$ ???*

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I hate saying no to people or making excuses. I just don't want to tell my friend; "Hey, sorry I can't go because I'm poor and have my own issues". Like it's unfair to them and me. 

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Would I be an asshole if I just tell me friend that I can't afford it and I'm poor?

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