Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Here's what happened, I have a young Toddler who uses the restroom on his own and sometimes he makes a mess and as his parent when he makes a mess I realize it's my job to clean it up and not be defensive when people point it out, particularly since he regularly uses my room mates bathroom since it's closer to the living room, this can lead to a bit of confrontation in my interactions with my room mates and I DO fully understand how it can be frustrating dealing with his mishaps. (Mind you my room mate has Aspergers and likes his things very particular and I completely understand that and am accepting of it as well)


In this particular situation I however do not feel like I was being unreasonable and would like a third party point of view, I also realize how silly this situation is and recognize my own childishness on the matter.

I had to work yesterday between the hours of 11:30 and 5:00. My son, whom I left with my girlfriend was only home for an hour and a half between the time I left at 11:07 and 9:00 at night an hour and a half after I left his grandparents picked him up and spent the day with him.

At 10:50 as I was heading out the door my son finished his breakfast and went to wash his hands, which he was done with by the time I actually left the house.

I returned home after work and after picking up my son, watched a nature documentary and fell asleep on the couch with my son and woke up at 12:00am my room mate who had left comes home and asks since I was awake if I wanted to play Red Dead on the PS4 with him and I agreed since I was off the next day.

This is where it got silly.

My room mate went to use the restroom, and when he returned he stated that the faucet was oily so it must have been my son who did it with soap. Now, I realize that some parents get very defensive in these types of situations but I also realize that he's a Toddler and it's possible that he did do it.So I was not in the slightest offended by this, However we have another room mate and other folks that had come over. So, I stated I did not think this time it was him because he left shortly after I did and it was 12:30 at night and he hadn't used the restroom since we got home (he stated that an hour and a half is not shortly, I'm curious about other peoples interpretation of this too) but he then said it was possible he went to the bathroom again between the time I left and the time his grandparents picked him up.

I agree that this is a possibility and he could have, however It's rare that my son has to use the restroom within such a short time frame. So, I told him I don't think it was, and his response was "Well who else could it have been?"  I told him it was possibly our other room mate, he said it was kinda weird that I was being defensive about it (I wasn't being "defensive" in an offended sense but I WAS defending him because the time frames didn't make sense to me but I wasn't irritated in any way) anyways to me it felt less like an argument and more like a conversation where I was trying to explain myself and my viewpoint as to why it didn't add up that it was him, I also felt like between 1:00 PM and 12:00am other people had used the restroom since and it seemed way more probable that someone within an 11hour time frame did it than an hour and a half time frame earlier in the day, which I would also feel like the residue over that 11 hour time frame from any soap would have possibly came off. ( I don't know, I'm not am expert on how soap residue lingers after it has dried up) now I want to explain that verbally I have a hard time piecing together my viewpoint sometimes and so it takes awhile to get to the point. This frustrated my room mate because he tossed my controller down and then hit the chair he was sitting in with his fist, stating that he didn't want to argue that I do this all the time and try to argue about dumb stuff and stormed off to his room a little excessively angry.

This is where I overstepped my boundaries a little because he tossed my stuff down really rudely, cut me off and then stormed off so I got a bit irritated and told him there was no reason to get butthurt we weren't even really arguing (which obviously made things worse I could have worded it better) He told me he wasn't butthurt and to quit insulting him but that it was such a petty thing that I was trying argue about that it made him mad (still no excuse imo to handle it how he did) 

He then returned to the seat and began instantly continuing the conversation he just got upset about, so I responded doing the same and we were right back at square one and this continued until he got REALLY pissed off and snapped the bowl of the papsan chain he was sitting in, that I had bought so I was pretty upset at this point we continued to argue in circles until we both went to bed.

Here's what I need to know, I AM admittedly an argumentative person however I recognize this and try to ensure I don't make decisions based on emotion. This situation was just one of many I have had with this particular room mate and every time we get into a situation like this he will make/or state his opinion and then storm off so I can't respond,  and then when this upsets me because I feel like I don't have the right to rebuttal he totes it as me trying to be argumentative, that if I just left him alone we would discuss it later so I'm being immature.

I do not however feel this is true, I feel like it's a self defense mechanism that he uses when his emotional threshold for conflict has been met and he can no longer entertain the conversation. We both struggle with a semi-elitist mentality and both are a bit of assholes but I struggle to understand why me and him regularly lock horns on the pointless semantics of situations I never run into this with anyone else and honestly wonder if I'm being a dick for feeling this way, or if because of his Aspergers these social situations are just over stimulating in a negative way.

Reddit, please am I the asshole who just wants to argue? I understand that sometimes it's better to agree to disagree but is it okay to say that immediately after you fully state your opinion therefore locking down the opposing views ability to defend themselves? 




