Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : My dad is usually a very sociable person who is friends with what seems like literally everyone, but he refuses to be in the same room as any members of my mom’s family (her sister, brother, and their parents). I have always been a bit bothered by this because I haven’t seen any of them do anything that could warrant such a reaction. I have been asking my dad to tell me what exactly happened and he finally did. 

For context, both of my parents immigrated here from India before I was born. My dad told me that he had one investment property in India that he bought before he got married. About 8 years ago, he and my mom were having a financial crisis and my mom had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. They were having trouble paying for everything, including maintaining the property. Finally, after trying everything to get back on their feet, they decided to ask my mom’s parents for some help. This was difficult for my dad to do because he had grown up believing that a man that relied on his in-laws was a failure. However, he had no other choice at this point so he asked for some money and he told them to keep the money from the property in India until their loan was subsidized. 

About one and a half years passed, and the money was subsidized, so my dad asked for the property back. My grandparents ignored him. Since he had some bigger fish to fry at the moment, he left it at that. A few more years passed and they still ignored his requests for the property back. My dad tried very hard to speak with them but they flat out ignored him. My mom did not want to get involved. Finally, after trying everything, my dad went to my mom’s sister and asked if she would reason with her parents. She asked them and they gave the property back to her to give to my dad and it was all settled.

However, after that, my aunt refused to speak to my dad. She would completely ignore him in public and he felt humiliated. When he asked my mom, she told him that it was because he had said some rude things about her parents. He tried really hard to patch things up with my aunt, but she refused for six months. After that, she tried again to talk to him, but this time he refused. He said that after ignoring all of his efforts to patch things up, she only talked to him when she wanted to. He finally decided to just cut off all contact with my mom’s whole side of the family. 

Throughout all of this, my mom had been battling breast cancer (don’t worry, she’s cancer free now) and my dad had been in a lot of pain seeing her like that and not having anyone to confide in. His whole family was still in India and he did not have any close friends here. On top of that, these issues caused a lot of bad arguments where my mom considered going back to live with her parents. In the end, she chose to stay with my dad. 

Now, my dad still refuses any contact with my mom’s parents or siblings. When we visit India, my mom will visit her parents while my dad stays with his. This part I am ok with and I understand. However, my mom’s sister lives in the same area as us and we see her a lot more often. My dad cannot even be in the same room as her. This bothers me a little bit more because I believe that this level of a grudge is a bit unwarranted for the situation. I once helped some friends throw a surprise anniversary party for my parents by providing a guest list, and without thinking I invited my mom’s sister because she and my mom are still close. After the party, my dad confided in me that he was not able to enjoy even a second of the party because she was there. Not interacting with him, just there.

The biggest problem in this for me is with my mom’s brother, who lives in the UK. She and my mom are very close, but she hasn’t seen him in years. It’s been even longer since we’ve seen his family. He has two kids, and I have only met the older one because the younger one was not born yet. The main reason we can’t go see them is because my dad refuses to come. He claims he is not preventing my mom from going without him, but knowing her, it would be hard for her to go without him. She has never gone on a solo vacation before. This is what makes me upset and this is why I told my dad that he should suck it up. I said that he doesn’t have to interact with my aunt, but he should be able to be in the same room as her. And I told him that he is holding my mom back from seeing her brother because of this relatively small and long-ago issue. AITA?

Tl;dr: My dad had a property that he temporarily gave to my mom’s parents and they refused to give back. He asked my aunt for help and she helped, but then gave him the silent treatment because of how he spoke about her parents. He has ever since refused to be in the same room as her or any other member of my mom’s immediate family, which is preventing my mom from seeing her brother, who lives in another country. I told him to suck it up.