My dad has suffered from depression for the last 30 years. He does nothing to help himself and expects my mother to make allowances for him. As I have grown older I feel like I have to make those allowances too. I have to be careful what I say around him because a throwaway comment can and has been used later on in an argument my mother has with my dad (I could joke that my mother has had too much wine and six months later my dad will say "look, even the kids say you drink too much") . My mother says my dad wasn't always like this, and has gotten worse since the depression diagnosis, suggesting he is milking it. AITA for not wanting to subject myself to the same misery my mother has endured since before I was born?