My wife and I are at odds and can't seem to get on the same page. 
Small backstory, in effort to be a better communicator, I share last night with her that I'm struggling. I feel that I'm at capacity currently (with life's current events/adulting) and am on edge.
I feel at times that many things I do are not right in her opinion or just irritate her. Today has been no exception.

Starting at 5:30am, our 1yo wakes and is crying. I get up to help and wife asks that I just try to soothe rather than bring to her for early feeding. I do this, but baby begins to scream again. I thought wife says to bring baby to her and she will feed, but I guess I misheard her. She gets mad and says that I'm messing up the sleep training. I'm hurt by her frustration, but just lay back down.

Another moment from today: 
Family is getting dressed and ready to go out for the day. I put on t-shirt I received for Christmas and an old baseball hat. Wife looks at me funny in disapproving way. While in another room, I hear her say in a gameshow voice, "the whole family gets dressed nice and you decided to wear stupid shirt that says boats &amp; hoes and that awful baseball hat". I ask if she was planning on taking family pics while out, she says no. I tell her I'll change since she disapproves, and she says don't... I tell her she's being passive aggressive and she says she's just joking and where the hell has my sense of humor gone?

Another instance: 
I'm speaking with her quietly in bathroom. She says, shhhh! The baby is sleeping. Ok, fine, but I was already taking quietly for that reason.
A few moments later she shuts a cabinet and it makes a loud squeak and slam. I say shhhh to her as well. She then calls me passive aggressive and says I obviously had an issue with her telling me to be quite earlier, but that she didn't want the baby to wake.
I agree and say that nobody likes to be shhh'd, but also agree that nobody like to wake the baby even more.
From there the situation spirals and the specific details are blurry, but I'm told that I'm miserable, unhappy, need to figure out what my deal is, to get a life and find my happiness. I have been accused by her multiple times that I must really hate her and the life we have created.
She then decides that we need to split for the day, taking the kids out on our planned outings and for "me to do me" and figure my shit out.

She is out with the kids now and I am confused. I know that I am not innocent, as it takes two. And yes, I'm in kind of a funk right now. But it also feels like she is taking shots at me, perhaps out of irritation that I'm not 100% my chipper self. 
Funny thing is, I really believe that the things she accuses me of are some of the shortcomings and character defects that she possesses herself. If I try to communicate that to her, the whole conversation usually gets turned around to how I am guilty of all the things I tried to discuss with her. It feels like a vicious cycle of just going tit for tat over trivial points and arguing for the sake of arguing. And I hate it. It really makes me sad...

Not sure if this is the right forum for this, but the feedback here seems to be good, offering great perspective.

So am I the asshole here, do I need to pull my head out of my own ass, or is there something else perhaps?