In November I got my dream job in my dream city. My husband and I have been trying to get back to New England for a year now, with no luck. He was more actively searching because of higher income, but no offers came through until mine. 

I moved in December, and he started applying for jobs like crazy and got one in January. Slight pay cut, but we’ll be happier in our new city and near family and friends. 

I packed a lot before I left, and flew back 3 weeks ago to pack and organize more - house was a mess, he hadn’t cleaned since I left. I cleaned everything and packed even more. 

I wasn’t able to come back closer to moving day because of my work schedule... right now on my 14th consecutive day working, and have big events through all of March. 

I’ve done everything I can remotely, scheduling a cleaner and listing a ton of furniture on Facebook Marketplace (and dealing with the barrage of messages). 

It’s his last night and he’s been having panic attacks, hurt his shoulder, and is generally pretty pissed at me. He said he’s been spending 5-6 hours every night for two weeks getting things ready and the most stressed he’s ever been. I’ve been trying to be extremely sympathetic/supportive/grateful, and offered to do all of the unloading/unpacking once he’s here. He’s quite traumatized from this experience and I can’t help but feel very selfish. 

One big thing is that he packed a moving pod 2 weeks ago that should have had everything, and he missed a lot - so now we have to donate a lot more than we had planned on. I tend to be the pragmatic one in the relationship who can stay organized/sane during a move. 

Note: we are also selling the house, so he’s getting it ready for sale and dealing with contractors too

TL;DR moved before husband due to job, he’s packing everything up himself and miserable. 

AITA?