Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : I grew up with an abusive alcoholic mother.   It was hell and as a result I don’t drink at all and don’t like being around drunk people.  

When I started dating my girlfriend I knew that she drank and discussed my issues with it.  I just asked her that she doesn’t drink around me.  It worked out fine, she was great about not even drunk dialing me, a problem I had with my ex girlfriend.  

When we started discussing moving in I was very apprehensive about it.  I asked her if she could really handle not drinking at all in our home and she was adamant that it was no big deal.  That if she wanted to drink she could just spend that night at a friends and that she really didn’t drink that often anyways so it wouldn’t be a problem.  

The first few months that’s exactly what happened.  Since then though there have been times that she’s come home obviously drunk and just lying about it to me.  I’ve talked her about it to mixed reactions.  Sometimes she will apologize profusely and promise not to let it happen again.   Other times it becomes an argument about how I’m projecting my mother’s problem on our situation.  That she’s not an alcoholic or abusive.  Which is true, but it’s not really about her being abusive, it’s that being around drunk people drudges up a lot of painful memories for me.  She just brushed that off though.  

After this last time it happened she’s outright fighting me on the issue.   She says this is her home too and we’re both adults.   That I need to get therapy instead of trying to control her.  We had a clear agreement before we moved in though.  