My friend, whom I've known for many years, has progressively gotten larger over the past few years. I have made a comment previously about his weight gain due to general worry, but I would say that it's been over a year since I've said anything else to him about it. My friend is around 6 foot 5 inches, and he's probably close to 500 pounds at this point. My partner and I live in a smaller town near the large city that he lives in. My friend doesn't know how to drive, doesn't own a car, and would rather take public transportation, which is reasonable as he lives in a great city for that. The issue lies with him riding in either of our vehicles. This wasn't always an issue, but as his weight increases, the more we are both noticing the sounds that the seat makes as he's shoving himself in the car, as well as the general lowering of the passenger side when he's inside either of our cars. It's much easier for him and us if we drive when we want to hangout as public transportation is quite slow and limiting, but we're getting to the point where we are not only worried about his health, but also worried about our vehicles. 

Neither my partner nor I are sure of how to address this with him, and we've even gotten to the point where we've considered renting a large SUV that can handle a person of his size, and although this wouldn't be practical, it may send a message. If we all of the sudden stop giving him rides or picking him up he'll obviously know something is wrong, but again, we would have no idea how to address this without sounding like horrible people and losing our dear friend. After the last time that we hung out my partner has now established that she would rather not have him ride in her vehicle, and I am getting to that point as well. Are we the assholes for feeling this way? 