Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : Am I the Asshole for being disappointed that my boyfriend planned a birthday getaway for me that has centered entirely around hanging out with his friends with a few limited choice items that must also include his friends?
My boyfriend has a knack for planning things for me that really end up being what he wants to do.
For instance, one year he wanted to take me on a getaway for the two of us. It ended up being a trip to spend time with his best friend that left no alone time for the two of us. No nice dinners, no nothing. In fact, he left me on this getaway to hang with his friend. I was super hurt and disappointed by this and let him know that he created an expectation for it to be a getaway for ‘us’ not a trip to see his friend.
He surprised me with a birthday getaway this weekend. I love the beach, him not so, much so the getaway was to a place with a beach. I knew that one of his friends lived here. Originally he said we’d stay with friends one night and then in a hotel on an island the next. Which of course ended up us staying with his friends 2 nights. He asked me about the things I wanted to do and I did provide him a short list, which consisted of things like, dinner, walks on the beach. Of course, this entire time he has chanted that this is my birthday and I can have ‘whatever I want’. Which has seemed to always include his friend and sometimes his friend’s wife. They are perfectly lovely people and I enjoy them. This is just not the intimate birthday celebration I pictured and really requested when he asked.
When I found out that we were coming to the city where his friend lived, I made it clear that I was looking forward to the alone time between the two of us.
Instead, we’ve hung out with his friend the entire time so far. I am an introvert and am exhausted by this much social time. We are about to go for a late sushi dinner (bfs favorite) with the friends so I stepped away to rest for a bit by myself at the house. Bf is mad that I am being rude and antisocial. I’m not trying to be rude, I’m just tired and am now needing to gear up to get ready to go out with these people again. His friend even suggested a place that bf could take me for a date for my birthday but no...we are going out with them.
I’m more disappointed than pissed. And I don’t feel that I need to be with these people every second of the day. Am I the asshole?