  

So, today newish RGM pulls me aside in the morning along with the AGM, and I could tell I was in trouble, but I hadn't the slightest clue what it could've been about. Well, they tell me that my coworker/crush of a little over a year complained about me sexually harassing her. I feel it should be pointed out that this is the day after our new RGM has had one-on-ones with the staff to try to find/solve some under-the-hood issues that you don't noticed/don't have time to address mid-shift, with one of the questions during said event being "have you noticed or had any problems with sexual harassment?" Paraphrasing, "It''s been brought to my attention that you've been repeatedly asking out coworker/crush despite her telling you no each time, and that is sexual harassment.." and you get the idea.

Let me just say that each and every time I asked (at least 4 times over 13 months.) she never gave me a straight answer. The most recent example being from two days ago, which went like this.

Me: Do you have Valentine's day plans?

Her: Hmmm, maybe. I don't know. Why?

Me: Well, if you don't, I'd like to treat you to dinner.

Her: Yeah, I know.

Then I just kind of accepted the rejection - because that's what it was if history is anything to go by - as I'm used to by now and walked away to get back to work. She's not the first nor will she be the last, I'm sure.

So, yesterday being Valentine's day, I'd gone to the florist the day prior and bought just a rose and a card to write a little corny poem for her. I gave them to her when she came in that day, because whether she wanted to go to dinner or not, my feelings were the same either way. What mattered wasn't the outcome, just the simple idea that she meant enough to me to warrant a special gift on a day like Valentine's day. I didn't bring the date up again, I just gave them to her and wished her well and went back to work. Whether this was the last straw, or it just happened to be an unfortunate coincidence with the questioning and V-day is something I ponder, but is ultimately irrelevant to the discussion I suppose.

It was never my intention to make her feel like I was sexually harassing her; I often go out of my way to stay out of her proximity and keep out of conversations she's part of. Partially to give her space and partially because it's my own defense mechanism that keeps me from making an ass of myself in front of her. I honestly feel really conflicted with how this shook out, because on the one hand I don't feel like I did something wrong enough to warrant the penalty, but I don't feel like I'm absolutely faultless either. I definitely could have "taken the hint" or resolved that if she wanted to see me, she would have said yes/remembered in the first place. Truthfully, I wish she'd said "No, I'm not/will never be interested," the first time so that I could have tried to move on instead of nursing a glimmer of hope in the back of my mind for the better part of a year.

AITA for having hope