Is NOBODY wrong in the post ? POST : Pretext - In college I had a friend group which occasionally involved a gender neutral person and an ace / trans. Statistically the percentage of non-cis non-hetero people in the group was pretty high but I didn't notice, or did I really bother to find out the specifics of each persons situation. Just didn't seem super important to know just to hang out with them in a group you know? 

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Anyway fast forward, towards the end of college and out of college, and occasionally these people come up in conversation. When speaking about them my friends use pronouns such as "they" to refer to them, and they try to make it look organic but I can tell the flow of their speech is a little off for the sake of accommodating a person not even involved in the conversation.

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I personally don't use "they". It's not that I find their situations to be illegitimate or anything, that part I couldn't care less about. It just seems cumbersome to have to remember to alter my speech patterns for this one specific circumstance to avoid being accidentally offensive or something. I understand "they" can be used both as a plural and singular, but at least the way I speak I only use it as a singular referring to someone I don't really know, or speaking to someone about someone they don't know (see how I used they there talking about this hypothetical person that you don't know?)

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I don't know, it's a nuanced thing and I understand it can work, but it's awkward to pause mid-sentence and change he or she to they just to seem super PC. It almost feels like virtue signaling.

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Getting around it I just use the persons name. To make up an example, the name Robin is pretty unisexual, so instead of saying "I was speaking to them and they said they were coming to the party this weekend" I would just say "Hey, I found out Robin is coming to the party this weekend"

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It pops up in my mind more as "Robin said s/he was coming to the party this weekend" but if I say that I'd have to switch to "Robin said they were coming to the party this weekend" and then whoever I'm talking to is like oh really who is Robin bringing and you gotta be like no just Robin, Robin goes by they and it's this whole thing

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I feel like I maybe I'm not an asshole, just a bit lazy but could use some input