Usually I’m (24m) the one who tries to comfort my gf when she’s sad and be there when she needs me, but this time roles are reversed.

In my childhood i went through a pretty traumatic period that I haven‘t told anyone about. I just kind of suppressed it by holing up and  and later started with bodybuilding to get my confidence back up. last week I met one of the people who made my life hell back then, and when he told me i look better than the pussy i was back then, the memories just came back. When i got home i just started crying and wanted my gf to hold me for a while. She seemed more disgusted at seeing me like this (i believe it‘s the first time she saw me cry and the first time i cried in years) and left for a while. I feel like shit for getting emotional over it, and even my friend told me i was just being a pussy when i told him about it.

In the end i couldn’t take it and just packed my shit and have been holing myself up in a hotel again. I ignored all calls and texts from my gf, but now my friend called me and told me i was an asshole for ghosting her for no reason and leaving her only with the cash we had at home (she has no access to my account and I used to pay for almost everything, but she does work part time and i own the house so she should be fine for now). I just want to be alone for a while now. The one thing worse than being alone is being alone when someone is right next to you. AITA for running away?