Bit of a clickbaity title but I'm not sure what else to call it.


My girlfriend and I have had issues with her family for some time, usually due to my frustration at how she would bend to their will without a second thought.  At the start of the relationship  (the first year was very difficult) it was really bad. With her, as a woman in her twenties, constantly needing to ask for permission to do basically anything.



It has improved a lot, with her becoming much more assertive and independent but one things still really bothering me. At the point when we had been living together around for around 7 months her parents  (who were in a longstanding legal battle with the US government over their citizenship rights) heard that the next hearing was going ahead and assumed they would win the case within that month,  despite me, my girlfriend, the lawyer,  and their oldest son trying to explain that this was only one step in a long process.



With this they decided they would spend their time before moving back to the USA  seeing the sights in Europe.  The problem was that they drained my girlfriends bank account to do it. (It was an account she made as a minor so her mom had access)

When it came out that they won the case but another date was scheduled they exploded and blamed the lawyer and said it was his fault my girlfriends life savings were now non existent. 


As I've said, over time she has gotten a lot more assertive and in return her parents have started treating her more like an adult. 


Now we're left being solely reliant on my income and savings and it honestly makes me furious.
Any time I bring it up with her she says "it doesn't matter" and any time I voice my concern over feeling like I'm the only one putting resources into this relationship she blames her parents. But has not and refuses to ask her parents for the money.


I know they aren't in the best position financially but it feels like I'm the one paying for it. Especially when at Christmas or birthdays she's lucky to get cheap low quality  clothes and socks, but her younger sibling (aged 21) who still lives at home is bought new phones/consoles and games even when it's not a special occasion.
With the excuse being "well he works with your dad this is how we pay him" even though he gets paid by their dad for the work he does. (Interesting side note: they pulled him out of school to start help working and now he's too old to finish high school and has no qualifications)


So, knowing that her parents are genuinely not in a good place financially, but they don't manage their money well, am I the asshole for wanting my girlfriend to demand the money from her parents because we shouldn't pay for their mistakes?


Whenever we talk about it it always ends with me feeling terrible and just assuming I'm the asshole, but am I the asshole? 


And am I the asshole for expecting her to carry some of the financial burdens?