She told me about 5 days ago. She's about 1 month pregnant now and yes, I will be an active father in the child's life just like I am with my current 9-year-old daughter. So that's not the issue here. What is the issue is me telling her that I don't know if I can stay with her or not.  


We had unprotected sex and she had not taken her birth control in about 2 weeks. She never told me this. In fact, according to her, she purposely just tell me. Since we've been together she has been on birth control and I've seen her take it on a usual basis in the morning. So I tended never to question her about it. We had talked about her wanting a child and I said I didn't want one until after marriage. She seemed to at least understand why I wanted that and then added, "well I definitely don't want one until after college."  


Fast forward to present day, everything has seemed to erupt. She's mad at me now. She said that I took my own risks by not using protection and she's right, I knew that and understand that well. I told her that I understood that. It's just that I can't help but feel like I've basically been lied to. She knows that I know that she's been taking birth control. She would always tell me when she was about to run out or when she had to go get more. Not this time though. It had been about 2 weeks since we had sex and then we had it about two weeks after she had stopped with the birth control. She *chose* that. Chose not to tell me.

&amp;#x200B;

Now I really feel like I'll never come back from an action of that magnitude. How do I trust her now? She told me she's sorry but at the same time, she's happy about it even though she understands that I was not ready. She thinks I'm abandoning her even though I've voiced that I will absolutely be a father to the child. It's honestly alarming to me that she takes the whole situation lightly. Like her feelings out weigh mine. Now I'm pretty hurt about the whole situation.  


Am I the asshole?