AITA For never returning my mom's love? My mother lives in Nevada. I'm out here on the West Coast so of course messaging is the only way she can contact me. She tells me she loves me and she misses me, she tells me happy birthday and Merry Christmas. She gives me encouragement and tells me to stay strong, and I never say a word back.

Some backstory:

 When I was 6, my mother was arrested for child neglect, drug abuse, and most likely other charges I'm too scared to ask about. She's been married once and has had 5 children with all different men. All but one of us never met our fathers. I was put in a foster home, and eventually adopted by a Native-American Ex-Marine father and African American mother of whom I love dearly.

I grew up alright. I struggled with learning disabilities such as ADHD, mild medical issues, and did alright socially. Due to the legality of the arrest, my mom had been forced to leave the state and was not permitted to contact me until I was 18. Until then, the only thing I had to remember her by was two photos of us taken in a DHS office that I had nailed to my bedroom wall. 

A couple months after my 18 birthday she finally contacted me via Facebook. It was an extremely emotional experience. I wanted to know so much about myself: who my father was, what my nationality is, why did she have to leave, and small things like who's personality did I get? Hers or dad's? Do I have her eyes or my dad's nose? The more I asked the more I my heart sank. She didn't know my father. It was between multiple men. She didn't know my nationality either. She then told me how sorry she was, and how much she missed me. And told me she was abusing crack cocaine for years, even for 4 months during her pregnancy with me.

I haven't spoken to her since. She's sweet I guess. She's clean, found her faith in the Christian Church. She tells me how much she regrets what she's done and how she wishes she could take it back, that she just wants to be part of my life. But I can't find it in me to love her back. She's a stranger to me. She calls herself my mom but I have no idea who she is. Am I the asshole?