Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : To understand where I'm coming from here, I'm gonna need to tell you a bit about myself, so here goes:  
I'm a  girl under 20  with rather low self esteem, REALLY socially awkward and tend to get emotional very quickly.  Great combination, I know. 

This usually leads me into relationships that aren't exactly what you'd call healthy; my last one especially. I met the guy in a video game and his very chill demeanor was seemingly perfect for me, since my past relationship with what was basically a typical ragekiddo had not been ideal (massive surprise there). 

After weeks of trying to be as obvious as possible, I finally decided to just tell him and ... oh dear. Almost a panic attack. He then told me about how he had depression, which has never been treated (even though he told his family about it, they just kinda brushed it off). I did really like the guy though, so I thought I'd be able to handle it. Big Mistake. I tried my hardest; read up on how to support a partner with depression and such. Told him to go to get a diagnosis, that he wasn't alone, etc. Unfortunately, that didn't stop his feelings for me from numbing after less than a month. He basically told me that he just "saw me as a friend" and that he'd more or less been using me for nudes for some time. Needless to say, I was crushed. I was trying so hard to be there for him, but it all amounted to nothing in the end. Combine that with my wonderful sense of self-worth, and you've got yourself a girl that's basically crying for 3 days straight and telling herself that even if she tries her best, she'll never be good enough. 

&amp;#x200B;

As luck would have it, he did this RIGHT BEFORE two events were taking place - the first one being going out to a restaurant with family friends; the second one the following day: grandma's birthday brunch. Neither went too well.   


The first night, I just ended up asking my dad to drive me home early; right after our friends arrived (they were late since they had locked themselves out of their flat). Seen as my mood was honestly terrible, he obliged. I really didn't want to ruin it for everybody by constantly being on the verge of crying.  


The brunch was a lot worse, since they couldn't really justify letting me off early for some reason. After a question by a relative of mine got me thinking my horribly failed relationship attempt, my eyes started watering again (entirely not their fault, the question wasn't even about relationships and nobody apart from me knew what was going on). 

My mother then just told me that "if I couldn't hold it in, I should just leave". Fine by me; I didn't want everyone else to be sad too. So I went to a room upstairs and tried to do some maths while tears were still clouding my vision. After about 20 minutes, my mother decided that she finally wanted to know what was going on. After telling her what had happened, all she could muster was "oh. well, that's difficult" and a hug. The hug was comforting, at least. However, she quickly switched from that to telling me how selfish I was, that I wasn't the center of the world and that I "didn't care about all those people downstairs that wanted to know how I was doing". (If you're as confused as I am about how she jumped to that conclusion, we're in the same boat.)  I just told her that I did in fact care about them, but that I really wasn't feeling well at that time. She left me alone after that, until it was time to go home. 

&amp;#x200B;

She later told me that I needed to learn to just "put on a fake smile and deal with it" and how I had, at least partially, ruined both of those events for everyone else.  


I mean, I do feel bad, since neither the family friends nor my relatives were the ones that hurt me. I can also accept that it was me that ruined the mood.  
However, am I really being that selfish here?  
As I've said before, I've always had problems controlling my emotions well. And the way my Ex transitioned from loving and caring to "you're nothing more than a friend" within the span of a few days hit me REALLY hard. Not going was also not an option, since my parents basically forced me to come along.   
I just... I don't know. 