My girlfriend:
 - Has never had a full time job, or even a resume to my knowledge 
 - Consistently skipped class in college 
 - Doesn't socialize (I don't mean this as an insult. She's not introverted, but rarely goes to anyone other than me to talk / hang out)
 - Still lives with her parents
 - Want's to start her own art company rather than pursuing a job after college 
  - Has severe depression and anxiety issues

I:
  - Have a full time job, and applied for jobs constantly throughout college 
  - Have an active social life with twenty or so friends I talk to or spend time with regularly
  - Own a car and rent my own apartment, paying for everything I have without any assistance of my parents 

I don't mean to say "I'm doing great and she's not", I'm just offering my perspective on our "preparedness" for life. It's no judgement on her character, I assure you.
  
When talking about the future for the several years we've been dating, I've expressed that it's important that she have some plan for her future, or at least prepare for it. I don't expect her to be just like me, I'd just like to know that she's putting in her fair share of the burden if we were to get married. However, whenever we talk about this, she gets very upset with me. Recently I brought up her career goals and she had a panic attack claiming that she had to choose between marrying me or following her dream of being an artist. I didn't press the matter, as this happens when we talk about most things, be it sex or anything else I'm having thoughts about. 

I'm the primary source of income in our relationship, paying for everything from food to clothes to heating to driving her everywhere, but am just not comfortable being the emotional and financial backbone of our relationship for the rest of our lives. It's so draining. Am I the asshole for asking her to be more independent? I would even accept some sort of assurance that she's thinking about those things. When I think about proposing, my chest starts to hurt because I'm so nervous that I'll be miserable, being her caretaker for the rest of my life. I'm in the constant state of wondering if I'm an asshole or she's just lazy, but I'm so critical of myself that I always blame me.
 