Background: I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 1/2 years. We've broken up briefly a couple of times. The first time he mentioned that part of his issue is that I have a son, not so much that he doesn't like him, just that he's there. He's not mean to him or anything. He has a grown son who lives in another state who he adores and he sees his greatest role in life as being a father to his son. The boyfriend came into my son's life when he was 10 years old, he's turning 14 tomorrow. My boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do and he has a big nice 5 bedroom house that he lives in alone, although he usually sleeps at my house. I, being poor, have a house that has a lot of damage from when I had a leaking roof and we had unprecedented rainfall a couple of years back. The plaster on the ceiling has fallen down and the plaster walls are crumbling. It's really in rough shape. My homeowners insurance wouldn't cover it and I have not yet had the money to repair it. I've tried to do some repairs myself but I have no idea what I'm doing so I've just given up until I can hire someone to do the work. My son is embarrassed by our current living conditions and he doesn't want to have friends over.

When I first started seeing this man he wanted us to stay at his house more. My son would get bored there because he didn't have TV service and the internet reception was crappy, so my boyfriend bought an xbox and said it had to stay at his house. He would let him have friends stay over and things were good for awhile, until one day he just didn't want him there anymore and brought the xbox to my house, which was fine. He would still let him have friends stay over from time to time. So my son's birthday is tomorrow and I asked my boyfriend if he could have a couple of friends over. He said he wanted to think about it. I asked him again yesterday and he said, "why does he have to have a birthday party? I never got to have a birthday party. I would just go out for pizza with my family." So basically he said no.

So the problem that I have is not so much that he can't have his friends over, it's the feeling of rejection that I'm feeling for my son. My boyfriend tries to be all spiritual and says stuff like, "I've been blessed, the things I have aren't mine. I need to share them with other people." He has said that specifically about his house.

And I'm not saying he's a bad guy. He's nice and he has helped me financially from time to time with a few hundred dollars when I've been broke broke or really needed something. The thing is though, that he takes no interest in my son or in wanting to spend time with him. He buys him food sometimes when he comes over and he's always polite and never mean.

TL:DR: Boyfriend used to let my son stay at his house with friends sometimes but won't let him for his birthday. My house has a lot of damage that needs to be repaired and we can't have people over.Bigger issue is that he takes no interest in my son. I'm thinking about breaking up with him over this.