Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : TL;DR: My ex had my cats. I told him I was coming to get them and that I would bring the cops if necessary. I was aware he had drugs in the house. I learned after the fact that he also had a gun there, which he is legally not allowed to possess. I called to let him know I was on my way. He got irate and was ranting and cussing at me. I hung up on him and proceeded to show up with cops. Evidently this makes me the asshole?

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So my ex is psychotic. In the last 8 (of a total 15) months, he has at various times threatened me, my friends, my cats and my infant daughter in an attempt to control/coerce me into giving him information that, to the best of my knowledge, does not even exist. I didn't realize I was going to hit "Fuck it. Done. Get out of my life." until the very moment it happened, and so had not properly prepared. Namely, I had left my cats at his house. Psycho has a lengthy arrest record and a tendency toward aggression and a complete lack of regard for other individuals. In the days following the breakup, our communications went something like: "I want my cats back." "Fuck you, They want to stay here." "I'm coming to get them." "They won't be here." until finally, verbatim, the message I sent was, "Look. This is how this is going to work. I'm coming to get the cats. I'll call when I'm on my way so that you can have them ready. I'll bring the cops with me if I have to."  When I was on my way, I called, and he started ranting a bunch of bullshit,"Fuck you, you're not stepping one foot in my house. Don't even pull in the drive. I'm not giving you shit. You're not taking shit from here." So I hung up and called police - non-emergency - to have a cop on-hand in an attempt to reduce the likelihood of an altercation. Yesterday I found out he called my mother after the cops and I had left and lied through his teeth about me. I got pissy, and reiterated my desire to **not** see him in person. He responded by getting super upset because I brought the cops to his house when he had drugs and a gun there. (He's explicitly not allowed to be in possession of a firearm, as he has two gun-related felonies under his belt.)  Apparently the existence of police in that situation warranted a response. He failed to factor in that my mother can't stand him, thinks he's a scumbag, and doesn't believe a word he says any other day of the week. (He's firmly convinced she adores him, which I think is mostly a testament to his delusional state of mind.)

There's a whole bunch of shit I'm leaving out - the manipulation, the scare-tactics, the invasions of privacy and space and boundaries, not to mention the circumstances surrounding the aforementioned threats on the lives and safety of myself and those I care most for (which is why they were the people he threatened to harm, of course.) But I feel like once I get started, this post is going to steadily devolve into me just going on this long-winded diatribe about my asshole ex, and will thus detract from it's purpose which is to find out, was I actually wrong? Given his history and the fact that I told him I was going to do a thing I then proceeded to do, was I actually the asshole for showing up, police at the ready? There are some people who have a firm, "You don't call the cops. You don't bring cops to my door." mindset. And honestly, I personally have a massive bias against police. But they exist for a purpose, and while I don't really think breakup-mediation is typically something they should have to be called-upon for, I also feel like it was the least worst of a bunch of terrible options. Am I wrong?

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