(35M) With some issues due to my past. I suffer from a condition that has wrecked my life multiple times after building it up repeatedly. Basically my health goes south and I lose the license, the job, the girl, then become depressed. The last cycle ended about 4 years ago.

2 years ago I started a relationship with (27F) that I met earlier in that year while studying to increase my chance of employment. She approached me; I wasn't ready for a relationship but she had the same condition (not as severe) and needed to fix things too so I told her we'd do it together.

When we met she thought she might be asexual but had a lot of trauma. She did increase the frequency, but we still disagree on it. There tends to be a week with 3x and then not as much the rest of each month (she tracks it, but I think it's less than it says). I'd like it to be 2-3 each week and think it's just a matter of effort; if she loved me it'd come naturally. 

She also has issues with anxiety and depression. I've been depressed too and I think she just needs to get outside and do things more often to get better, but she says she's comfortable at the computer, knitting (what 20 year old knits?) or drawing/colouring in (which is childish and needs to stop). 

In the last 10 months she went through a lot of therapy, got a job in the field we studied and was promoted at the end of her probation. She moved far away to do that (which I encouraged) and she's been asking me to move with her, but I don't want to lose my financial independence by moving before I have a job. I also don't want to limit myself to looking for work near her because there's not as much there, so I'm looking around back home.

The other thing is that she's ticked off all these goals (she's got the job, the house, the car) but she's not exactly happy. If I have to live with her moods wings or misery that would just drag me down and I can't have that because my life is about to improve so much. 

A few days ago she was trying to ask me when I'd be willing to move in (yet again) and I wouldn't commit to a date so she said she was done even though I tried explaining why I couldn't commit yet and that I do love her. The next day she asked for keys back/where to send my things and I asked her what was going on. She called me and I told her I thought we needed a cooling off period in case we changed our minds. I told her she has to be happier if she wants me to move in and she asked how she's supposed to demonstrate that. I suggested smiling more and sending me photos and texts of her doing happy things.  

Honestly though, I'm not sure if this relationship is a good idea. I don't know if I  fear being stuck with her or losing her more. She's been crying that I've been killing her and need to make a decision, but I think shes overreacting to the situation and doesn't seem that worried about losing me or she'd have put in more effort. 

AITA for telling her "I love you and I want a future with you" just fix [problem] first when I'm not sure if I do want to be with her (at least until I know she's changed) or is it her responsibility to draw a line if I really am hurting her that badly? Just want some more opinions... 