Background; I'm a middle child. Older sister is 7 years my senior, younger and I are less than a year apart. Grew up poor as fuck, appreciate what I have/what I earn. I'm not spoiled (contrary to popular opinion). We're all grown, we're all neurotypical, we all function "normally", we all have jobs (She's got a better income than me, and in-laws that pay 99% of her and her wife's bills, no joke) and the focus is usually on the kids in our family, with one or two things for the adults.

I do my damnedest to give thoughtful, useful, nice gifts that show the receiver that I give a damn and want them to be happy. I put a lot of time and effort into the present if not the wrapping, because I get anxious about the receiver feeling like they're not "good enough" for a good gift, like I don't care. This is actually a huge thing for me.

For a long time, my sisters would do it together to try and make me lose my temper or throw a fit, or freak out because it wasn't good enough. I don't. I just throw the stuff away and go about my business because I'm not giving them the satisfaction of knowing I'm upset.

I've gotten back at little sister a few times, given other people things she had her hopes up for. Kept things I didn't want/need that she really, really wanted and ruined them on purpose in front of her. Fussed over little things like saving wrapping paper and delayed opening up stuff she was eyeballing.

My older sister got married and calmed down; she and I are on much better terms all around and usually do well for/with each other. My younger sister, not so much.

I told my younger sister that if she's going to give me something stupid and useless this year, do us both a favor and don't get me anything. She got in her feelings and is trying to turn people against me. Half our family is rolling their eyes and the other half is calling me selfish, greedy, etc.

Let me give you an example of some of the "greatest hits" I've recieved.

A raw potato.
A "natural pencil" AKA a burnt twig.
A 3/4 burned down scented candle...that I had bought for her.
A box of uncooked noodles.
A used toothbrush.
A pair of my own ripped tights. From the trash.
A toilet paper tube.

So, am I the asshole for telling her not to bother if she doesn't care enough to try?