Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : I volunteer for a community theater group. I painted a bunch of wooden boxes for the kids to sit on and use as props. We keep them in the closet. They are stacked up, and pretty heavy, but nothing I can’t handle. I painted them and loaded them into the closet. 

Rehearsal starts and the boxes aren’t out. I ask the other parent if she could help me grab them. She says we should wait until we have more help. I acquiesce and sit down. 

Ten minutes later the director and assistant director ask for the boxes to be brought out. She responded with “We can’t do it” 

I say, “WE? I CAN get them.” And I get up to get them myself. She hops up and looks at me and says, 

“What is your problem?” 

I responded with, “you said ‘We’ I can get them. It isn’t a problem.” 

She then says “why are you being so aggressive? What is your problem, why are you being so aggressive?”

I said, “Really it isn’t a problem I can grab the boxes” she follows me and tells me she got a pinched neck from lifting the boxes and we should wait. I start moving the boxes and she say, “see they are heavy” I reassured her that I put them there, I can take them down. 

She keeps yelling. I tell her we need to step outside. That it isn’t appropriate to yell in front of the kids. 

We go outside. She tells me again that I am being too aggressive and that I need apologize to her. I don’t apologize. I tell her we need to talk it out first. She then says what is your problem today? Why are you so aggressive. 

I say, “you said I wasn’t string enough.” She cuts me off. She was right, she didn’t say that. 

I say, “you need to calm down” we can talk about this. She again tells me I need to apologize. I said once we are calm we can talk about it. 

I walk away. I return to the room another way, and see her come in *aggressively* and take her son, grab his costume and leave. 

We are less than a month out from the play and she isn’t returning people’s phone calls or texts. 

I told the leadership if it helps, I can back away so she feels more comfortable. I don’t want the poor boy to not participate, but I really wasn’t expecting her to leave. 

Did I embarrass her by telling her we have to step outside and that this wasn’t appropriate in front of kids, or was I the Asshole for not apologizing when she was yelling at me to. 

I KNOW I am the asshole for telling her to calm down, but I followed the advice and walked away. 

I have worked with this group for 4 years and have never had anything like this happen before. Am I the asshole? 

