Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : On a throwaway for obvious reasons.

I've been friends with J for 10+ years, one of my closest friends but part of a wider friendship group (If it's relevant we're late 20s - early 30s). 

Things haven't been easy in either of our lives recently. I was supportive of him when shit hit the fan in his life, although not to the level he wanted. The situation was really complex but basically a girl he was casually dating reported him to the police accusing him of raping her. On the night in question they were both wasted and he claims to have no memory of what happened. Since I'm not law enforcement, judge or jury, I didn't feel I could get involved further as nobody can know for sure exactly what happened on that night except the two people involved, J and the girl. It is not as black and white as "he's a rapist asshole" or "she's a lying false-accuser", especially given the amount of alcohol that was apparently involved.

J didn't like my stance on this, said I was saying he was a rapist. I believe innocent until proven guilty, but come on dude, if you were so drunk you can't remember whether or not you raped someone, you gotta admit that's a little problematic. 

For the record he wasn't arrested or charged, he was just invited to the station for questioning by the police as a person of interest. There was found to be no case due to lack of evidence. So while it was undoubtably not great, it was also not life-ruiningly traumatic either and our friendship went pretty much back to normal.        

Then a few months later I hit a rough patch. I went through a break-up and since I was living with my ex, I ended up crashing another friend's (not J's) couch. My depression worsened, I lost my job and then I was hospitalized at the psych ward for 2 months. During this time, J was noticeably absent in my life, despite him being aware of all the shit I was going through, not once did he reach out to me, offer support or assistance (even just 'that sucks man, I've got your back'), you know, just be a friend. 

One day when I was in the hospital he called me and spent literally 20+ minutes chewing me out, telling me what a shit person I am, all the many ways I had apparently wronged him and others, being generally offensive "so now you know how it feels to be abandoned by your friends when you need them".

I was just fucking done with him at that point and I no longer wanted him in my life. Once I was discharged from hospital I moved to a different neighborhood and changed my schedule up so technically I don't have to see him again. 

I've maintained that if he wants to apologize for his behavior and genuinely make amends and I would consider seeing / speaking to him again as it's causing a rift in my friendship group. He hasn't made this effort yet and it's been months. 

My friends are important to me, I'm not close to my family and since the breakup and all the other shit they're my support network. They don't want to take sides and think both me and J are being prideful assholes and should put this behind us. I just can't. AITA?      