Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : So I live with my SO's parents and the mother takes care of my SO's 90 year old grandmother. Like completely. 100%. Cooks for her, cleans for her, drives her everywhere, pays for everything for her, etcetera. I see in her that she hates doing it and she physically is not in a place that she really has the ability to do all that. 

It's made me really think about the future. My SO's parents and my mother are all around the same 5 year range at around 58 years old and I've come to realize that it may not be very long until the choice comes up where they either will need a 24/7 in home caretaker, or they'll need to be in a nursing home. All three of them have made it very clear that none of them are going to a nursing home, but I know that none of them will ever have that kind of money either. 

My SO has another sister and brother, but my SO is pretty convinced that their already-established lives won't permit them to care for his parents so at this point he's low key planning our future around having to care for his parents when they get older. 

My mother and I never had much of a relationship  long story short, she is narcissistic and emotionally abusive. Every time the topic comes up, she basically guilt trips me into feeling bad for not wanting to care for her when she becomes unable to, and it always ends with me saying "I'm not planning for that right now."

Am I the asshole for not wanting to care for either my mother or my in-laws when they're not able to anymore? If I do that, I'm pretty certain that I won't be able to pay bills, and what about my future children? How old will they be? Will I need to take care of them as well? Will my SO help me, or will he just go to work, come home, and go to bed? All these things I wonder about and it really stresses me out about the future. 