Is OTHER wrong in the post ? POST : So at the time of posting this I'm 15 and I haven't seen my father in almost 3-4 years

My father was a controlling person and would beat me harshly over the smallest of things, once it was for accidentally dropping a remote on the carpet i was maybe 7?

I lived with him since my parents divorced whne I was about 1 and the abuse was continuous until I finally had the guts to say I didn't want to be with him, the last straw was when he tried to drown me, I was underwater in our backyard pool for at least a minute with him holding me down, he did this because I threw a toy pool ball and it hit the brick wall.

He has caused me to deal with mental problems such as PTSD and having a crippling fear of swimming.

But during that time my father's father had died and he recently found out he had Depression and Bipolar disorder, and he had another son who is my stepbrother.

I feel like the asshole because he had these underlying problems and maybe he didn't mean it? Am I the asshole?