My inlaws (FIL, MIL, aunts, cousins, all much older than my husband and I) are a group of tight-knit, racist, classist, conservative Christians who identify their politics with their religion. I am a liberal, not racist or classist, second generation atheist, military brat who really doesn't care what they think or believe as long as they keep it away from me and my kids. My husband, a secret atheist apparently ashamed of our atheism, won't stand up to his parents when they do bring their shit around me and my kids unless I force him too. He also won't tell them that we are both atheists which really grinds my gears. But that's a different battle. 


Every holiday, my husband's extended family meet at his parents' place for lunch/dinner (same food served twice...) and generally spend all day baiting myself and my husband into a talk about politics. We are both pretty skilled at avoiding these talks but this Thanksgiving, I finally lost my temper when they had some nasty bullshit to fling at Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Medicare for All. Of course I lost my temper, these idiots aren't the ones trying to figure out how to pay 17K in costs from having triplets this year or the future surgery my son will need. Or having to listen to them complain about how my father-in-law can't get Medicare yet and will have to pay for healthcare this year. I'd like to see their sorry butts do the leg work I've had to do to get everything covered that should be and to make sure my family is not falling prey to predatory insurance practices. PSA: Never pay a medical bill you have not received the EoB on. It'll save you a ton of money.



Honestly, I've been around these people way too much this year and my usual tolerance for their shit is gone. I need a break from them and a chance to recharge my bullshit tolerance. They've made my parenting experiences hell thus far. They've taken advantage of me while I was in a terrible position. They don't listen to the things my husband and I ask to them do or not do with our kids. They've caused no end of fighting between my husband and I. They've accused me of denying them access to my kids 'every time I get mad' and that I have no right to keep them away from their grandkids. 


I am **DONE**. I don't want to go to Christmas at their house and they are damn right, I don't want their racism laden, sorry selves around my kids. They were piss poor parents to my husband and I certainly don't want to give them a chance to abuse my kids like they did him and his brothers. Even further, I don't want another generation of racists on my hands. It's bad enough that of the three siblings his parents raised, two are as racist as them if not worse...



I'm willing to compromise since it seems this is the hill my husband is willing to die on. We can go to Christmas at their house, unwrap presents and then **LEAVE**. Same way all his cousins and other family does. But my husband says his mom will be upset if we don't stay to eat and the whole nine yards. If I let it, it'll end up being a 12 hour visit where our 6 month old babies will not get any rest at all. He says getting presents then leaving would cause drama. I say, sticking around will cause more drama because I have nothing left nice to say to these people. Not to mention, this is our first year with our kids. I want to start traditions of our own and maybe rekindle some of my own family's traditions that got lost when I got married.


AITA for not wanting to spend all of Christmas with my inlaws?
