I write about 1-2k words a day, and I work on all sorts of stories. I write original short stories, I’m working on a novel, I write fan fiction to develop my plotting prowess (and for fun), and I work on a collection of poems. It takes up a lot of my spare time and it’s my favorite hobby. Maybe eventually I’d like to write for publication, but for the most part, I write for me. Until I’m ready to write for publication, I’m also intensely private about my writing.

Lately, my husband has been coming up behind me while I write and looking over my shoulder, saying, “Whatcha working on?” I quickly close my document and just tell him that I’m writing. He’s hurt that I won’t share any of my works-in-progress, and feels like it means I don’t trust him. Which he’s not totally wrong—I think he’d make light fun of me for the fan fiction in particular, but it’s mostly that it’s something that’s just mine, for now. I promised him that I’d let him read something when I’m ready, but also admitted that it could be a few years from now, if ever.

While he’d never use the word “asshole,” he definitely thinks ITA for hiding/not sharing such a big part of my life with him. I think to him, I spend hours working on something and it’s clearly important to me, but I withhold it from him, my life partner. I get that, but I also think it’s okay for me to have something that’s just mine. But maybe it’s too extreme?