Is AUTHOR wrong in the post ? POST : Hey guys, this is my first time using this thread, so here goes nothing.

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This past Friday night, my suitemates (college suite), a few friends and I were having a great time drinking and playing a bunch of different card games.  It was overall a pretty good night.  Then the friend I'm the closest to just gets up and leaves randomly.  I don't think anything of it, and then my two other friends got up and followed her to her room.  I just sit there, continuing to play cards and talk with two others.

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The three of them come back and I notice the girl next to me is crying, but she brushes it off and won't tell me what happened.  So, being intoxicated and not wanting to push, I obliged and left the situation alone.  Then my close friend, from across the room, in her intoxicated state starts giggling super oddly, then I start laughing along with her.  That's when she smiles stupidly big at me, and just flipped her arm over to show me she had cut herself.  

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I'd been very reserved in my history with a lot of my suitemates and people I've met at college, because, I don't see me continuing a friendship with any after graduation.  We just live together.  But, I do have a history where someone has killed themselves with my name in the suicide note and a history that involved abusive ex's cutting themselves and screaming it was my fault.

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In my intoxicated state, I was about to blow up at her.  She means the world to me, and she's really the only one I care about in the whole suite, but I couldn't say what my brain was going to right then and there, it would have been detrimental. So, I got up and left for maybe 5 minutes, just out into the lobby to air out my head.

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When  I came back, she had barricaded herself in her room and was talking to one of our friends, so I didn't get a chance to talk to her.  But everyone else took this as their chance to tag-team me and do an intervention on me saying how they're "always there if I need someone," which is just not a conversation I take kindly to, even when sober.  This situation was about my friend, not me, and yet here they were saying I've got a flawed personality and too much of a "fight or flight" personality and I'm also very defensive in conversations.    They drilled me for almost an hour trying to get me to open up, the entire time I'm intoxicated and realistically just trying to not cry.  


Long story short, I ended up doing my best in an intoxicated state to tell the people intervening me that they wouldn't be able to do anything, and if I haven't opened up to them in these past 6 months, chances were I wasn't going to at all.  I learned the type of people to trust, and I know they talk shit behind people's backs.

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The ENTIRE next day, everyone in my suite refused to say a word to me.  Okay, cool. We're playing that game.

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Sunday, I bit the bullet and messaged one of my suitemates, basically telling her, "I've asked for help from you before, and you fucked it up because you told me it was my fault I got sexually assaulted. I learned to not talk to you about my issues."  This in turn, got my other suitemate to message me, after I apologized for not being there for her, stating that I'm selfish and caught up in my own way.

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I apologized to her, saying I realistically needed to air my head before I said something regrettable, since people cutting themselves and flaunting it to me does not stir a positive "you're gorgeous why are you doing that?" reaction; I get hostile.  She blatantly told me, "I don't need an explanation, I've helped you a shit ton and when I needed you, you literally ran away."  Even when I told her I was ready to talk when I came back in.  


We are now on the morning of day 3 of no one talking to me because I'm apparently the bad egg in the suite.

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Am I the asshole in the situation?