
So the story is my FIL(51) has been living with my husband(30) and me(30) since September of 2018 when he was released from prison on parole. The only way they would let him out is if he stayed with us in our state.

He smokes and he’s an alcoholic which husband and I don’t really care about. We only said he couldn’t smoke in the house or close around our toddler and baby. 


He doesn’t smoke in the house but barely. House smells like cigarettes all the time. (I’m a former smoker so I give him leeway but it’s very loud).  Even when my 3m old got rsv and we explained that smoke makes it worse he dgaf until we told him to take proper measures or else. 

He took my 4y old to breakfast but he was drunk, doesn’t have a license or insurance. Husband okayed it so they were both at fault. Husbands normal Meter was damaged severely in childhood.


So a month later FIL is mad because we are placing (2) limits on him. He blew up at us saying he didn’t want to live with us anymore because I was a liar and a bitch because I hated him smoking (I’m a former smoker and my dad has smoked his whole life) and I lied about cps getting involved if he got a dui with our kid in the car, and I clearly hated him. His proof for my hate is because I don’t like the smell of his cheap beer. I also got mad at him when he smoked a cigarette and then immediately got into the car with my 4m old and 4y old. 

I apparently also think I’m better than him because I told him I wanted the kids to go to college. My husbands’ family are mostly criminals and drug dealers. Which is their business! They live 5 states from me and I see them maybe once a year so I really could not care. My husband who grew up with a convict father, a drug dealer uncle, and alcoholics, who was constantly derided for doing something as lame as trying to get an education does not want his kids to be anything like his family. 

FIL wishes he had stayed in home state or was homeless rather then spend one more second in my presence. He isn’t grateful for anything we’ve done (condition of him getting parole was him staying with us because we are stable, paying thousands to move him in with us, getting furniture, his job, paying for food, etc).
So I told him to get the hell out of my house then. He said gladly. 
So now FIL doesn’t have any money, of course,  and needs time-a week at least- to look for a place. Husband thinks we should just be polite until he leaves and then put him on very low contact. So he wants me to give him an extension.

I’m afraid that this could spin out for weeks and Im mad at him.
So am I the Asshole for telling husband he’s out of his mind to think I’m going to let FIL stay any longer? 

I can give more info if needed. Had to keep it short.