I (M, 36) got married two years ago and none of my paternal cousins came to my wedding. Some of them didn't even RSVP. My father passed away when I was young and I've lived far away from them most of my life. I always tried to make it to family events and holidays. Even before I was old enough to drive I would take the bus to see them. As the years passed I ended up moving even further away but I always tried to make it to the events or send a card, etc. Those trips made me appreciate the difficulty of travel, so when some of my cousins weren't able to make it to my wedding I understood. When I realized that none of them could make it I was actually a little hurt, but I understood. I was miffed that some of my cousins whose wedding's I had gone to responded in the negative.

When I got married I was in grad school and living within proximity to them and saw them regularly. I flew home to get married and some of their parents were in attendance and my mother's side of the family, who I'm not close with, attended. I did see that they'd posted on my FB. When I was around my family no one said anything to me about it. Literally nothing except from some uncle who my aunt was in the process of divorcing. What I took from this was that if they weren't going to make the effort to have a relationship than neither was I. Apparently they noticed this and one of their parents reached out and asked why I was being distant and if I planned on approaching my cousins about what was bothering me. I told her that I wasn't necessarily being distant and that my interactions with them were as much their responsibility as mine and that if there was something bothering them, that they could reach out to me. She implied I was being ungrateful and I just left it at that. I was around them a handful of times and they always left me alone. One of my cousins did get drunk and apologized about not RSVPing and I told him that I appreciated his apology but that I thought our relationship had meant more, he said that it did. I ultimately told him that what he was saying didn't line up with how he was acting and that I was no longer willing to carry our relationship. We said goodbye in the morning and he texted me once when there was a natural disaster in my area. I didn't respond.

Eventually one of my cousins did send us a wedding present, and I was very grateful and wrote a card thanking them and I do respond to their texts. They occasionally post on my FB and one of them won't stop texting me on holidays, but I just feel like they need to recognize my marriage in some capacity other than posting on FB. I don't feel like I've ever really asked them for anything and I understand and we can't always make it to events. I'm not demanding a specific reaction from them more than I simply found their reaction to not be in line with what I thought family was and acted in response with what I thought was best for my wife and I, which was to let the relationships drift away.

So, AITA?