I’m (24F) in a fairly new relationship with this guy, let’s call him M (23M); we’ve been together for about 3 months. He’s slightly more “traditional” in some ways; he likes to open doors for me, wants me to walk in front of him, etc. (this is relevant). 

We live in a huge city, and it’s extremely common for people to cross the street when the WALK sign is not lit if there are no cars coming, or even if there are cars but they are a block or more away.  I noticed recently that when we’re out together, whenever I try to cross the street like this-- even when other people are also crossing-- his reflex is to snatch my arm and pull me back, as if I were about to run in front of a car. At first, I found it kind of endearing, like “aw, he’s worried about my safety”, and chalked it up to his other “traditional” behaviors, but now I’ve started to dislike it; it startles me, is unnecessary and feels a little insulting, like he doesn’t trust me to handle myself.  I hadn’t said anything until last night because I still felt that his intentions were good.

Cut to last night. We were heading back home after drinking with friends. I was definitely drunk but not blacked out or sloppy; I wasn’t falling over or confused. I started to cross a street that had very slow traffic, but I was not near a car and there were lots of other people crossing. He grabbed me and pulled me back as he usually does, and at that moment, it pissed me off. I didn’t say anything, but I yanked my arm back and continued crossing without him. 

Once we were alone, we got into an argument about it; me giving him attitude by pulling away really hurt him. He said that he was just trying to look out for my safety, it wasn’t just because I was girl and he would have done that with any of his friends, and he thought I was going to run in front of a car because I was drunk. He was mad enough that he said didn’t want to see me for a couple days. 

I apologized and thanked him for looking out for me, and explained how it made me feel. He apologized too, but he’s still unhappy with me.  Reddit what should I do? AITA? 