I'm using a throwaway because a few people in this story know my username. I'm going to use fake names.

I'm 23 years old. I was raised Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah. Both of my parents are Reform Jews, but I am an atheist (they both know this and are fine with it). My best friend, Russell, is also Jewish. All three have gone to Israel - Russell goes to Israel once per year.

For those of you who don't know, Birthright Israel is an organization that sponsors free trips to Israel for people of Jewish heritage. You can be anywhere from 18-32, and they'll fly you there for free for 10 days (for the record, I don't know much about the actual program, and this information is from Wikipedia).

My parents, mom especially, and Russell want me to go in June, as soon as I graduate from college. My mom took a trip to Israel at my age and she said it changed her life, so that's why she wants me to go. My dad wants me to go for the same reason. Russell wants me to go because he feels like I'm not embracing my Judaism, and his embrace of his own heritage helped him in high school and college. I have NO INTEREST in going for the following reasons:

- I'm not particularly connected with my heritage - outside of Russell, I have few Jewish friends.

- I have a bad fear of flying that I have received therapy for, but it's still not something I want to do.

- Politically, I think Israeli's occupation of the West Bank is both illegal and morally wrong and I have difficulty supporting the country. I also don't want to be judged for visiting.

- I have access to information about my heritage and it has little to do with Israel (As far as I know I'm 100% Ashkenazi Jewish, and my ancestors are from Russia, Poland, and Hungary)

So I told my parents no, and I told Russell I wouldn't be going. My mom was especially upset because she wants me to go and experience it, but I just really do not want to. I also understand that it is a free trip and I don't have a job lined up for after college, which is why my mom and Russell really want me to go now. But I really do not want to. I would rather spend ten days at home than in Israel. Also, I'm only 23, and I have nearly a decade to change my mind.

I'm stressed - I think I did the right thing for me, but I really upset my mom and Russell isn't too happy with me either (he wanted us to go together). AITA? No Jew ever wants to upset his mom.

TL;DR: Being pressured to go on Birthright, don't really want to, but now I feel bad