Allen Francis Doyle:  Once upon a time , there was a vampire . And he was the meanest vampire in all the land . I mean , other vampires were afraid of him he was such a ... bastard . Then , one day , he 's cursed by gypsies . They restore his human soul . And , all of a sudden , he 's mad with guilt . You know , " What have I done ! Oh ! " He 's freaked .
Angel: Uh . Okay , now I 'm sleepy .
Allen Francis Doyle: Yeah , well , it 's a fairly dull tale . It needs a little sex is my feelin ' . So , sure enough , enter the girl ; pretty little blonde thing , Vampire Slayer by trade . And our vampire falls madly in love with her . But eventually , the two of them , well , they - they get fleshy with _ one _ another . And the moment he- Well , I guess the technical term is " perfect happiness " . But when our boy gets there , he goes bad again , he kills again . It 's ugly . So , when he gets his soul back for the second time , he figures , hey , he ca n't be anywhere near Miss Puppy Thighs without endangering them both . So , what does he do ? He takes off , goes to L.A. to fight evil and atone for his crimes . He 's a shadow . A faceless champion of the human race .