Dan Fielding:  You do n't know what you 're talking about , lady !
Alice Beeker: Please , Mr. Fielding , it happens to a lot of men .
Dan Fielding: Not to me , it does n't !
Christine Sullivan: Dan , what happened ?
Dan Fielding: They rejected me .
Alice Beeker: Many are called , but few are frozen .
Christine Sullivan: They rejected you ? Why ?
Alice Beeker: His sperm is slow and immature .
Christine Sullivan: Oh ... I 'm so sorry I asked .
Dan Fielding: That 's great . Why do n't you just go ahead and tell the whole world while you 're at it ?
Nostradamus 'Bull' Shannon: I 'll start with the cafeteria !
Harry Stone: Miss
Harry Stone: Beeker , is this something abnormal ?
Alice Beeker: Oh , not at all . He just does n't fit within our semen parameters .
Harry Stone: Which are ?
Alice Beeker: Sixty million per cc .
Dan Fielding: I demand a recount !
Alice Beeker: You know Mr. Fielding your problem could be attributed to fatigue . How recent was your last sexual encounter ?
Dan Fielding: What time is it now ?
Alice Beeker: It would be no problem to retest you . But to be sure we have an accurate result I suggest you abstain for two weeks .
Harry Stone: From sex ?
Christine Sullivan: Dan ?
Court Clerk MacIntosh 'Mac' Robinson: I got _ twenty _ , says he does n't make it back to his car .