Emmett Foley:  I got _ one _ for you , Baker . There 's these two goldfish , see , having this argument . And then one of them gets madder than hell . He gets so mad , he just swims away ... and sits there for a long time in the corner of his goldfish bowl , sulking . And then all of a sudden , he gets this real smirky look on his face . So he sidles up to this other fish ... and real smart - like , he says : ' Oh , good . If there 's no God , then who changes the water ? '