Mike Birbiglia:  I wanted to be a rapper . But rap was very innocent back then . It was all like " Rippity - rap - rap - rap - tastic ! " It 's gotten so arbitrarily aggressive now , they 'll be like , " It 's _ 2005 _ , motherfucker ! " And I 'm like , " Really ? You 're mad about the date ? You got ta pick your battles , man , because no one 's gon na believe you when you 're mad about real stuff . " " You crashed into my car , motherfucker ! " " Yeah , well , you were mad that it was 2005 . You 're like the boy who cried ' motherfucker ' ! "