Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:  What was this genie like ?
Major Nelson: Oh , she was - um , just your average , everyday , run - of - the - mill genie .
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Of course . Beautiful ?
Major Nelson: Yes , yeah .
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Desirable ? And helpful ?
Major Nelson: Yes , yes .
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Captain , that 's the classic fantasy . A beautiful girl on a desert island . A girl who would do anything for you . Do you know who that girl was ?
Major Nelson: No , sir . I 've never seen her before in my life .
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: She was your mother .
Major Nelson: My mother 's in Salt Lake City , sir .
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: I 'm a psychiatrist . I know a mother when I see _ one _ .