Carlton Lassiter:  I mean is this really necessary ? I did n't even go inside the cafe .
Donny Leberman: Oh it 's necessary . Yeah , the CDC does n't want to take any chances .
Carlton Lassiter: For the last time , who the hell is this ?
Donny Leberman: Oh , I 'm Donny Leberman . Hey , I 'm the guy who screwed all this up .
Carlton Lassiter: I 'm not big on nude handshakes .
Juliet O'Hara: They 're probably just being safe , Carlton . Ooh , that tickles .
Carlton Lassiter: Spencer , are you shampooing your hair ?
Shawn Spencer: Yes I am , Lassie . I always travel with a small packet of Johnson and Johnson 's baby shampoo in my wallet .
Juliet O'Hara: Baby shampoo ?
Shawn Spencer: No more tears , Jules .
Carlton Lassiter: Whoa , take it easy , slugger , what are we dating ?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I ca n't believe this , Shawn . First , we 're looking for a prostitute , now I 'm naked in a parking lot .
Shawn Spencer: It 's just like our prom night .
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn .
Shawn Spencer: Gus , relax . Do n't be Nick Cage 's accent from " Con Air . " We 've bathed together before .
Burton 'Gus' Guster: When we were _ three _ .
Shawn Spencer: It 's essentially the same thing . It 's just impolite to pee . That feels great by the way .