Dr. Malcolm Nicholson:  Looking for something conventional , not too pricy . How about that top one there , how much is that ?
Sales Assistant: A _ hundred and fifty _ , sir .
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: Good God !
Sales Assistant: Well , it 's nine - carrot gold and it 's got the ...
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: Forget the pitch ! Much too expensive .
Sales Assistant: Well , we 've got these .
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: Ah , yes . That 's more like it .
Sales Assistant: Only ... they 're cubic zircon , they 're not real diamonds .
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: Yeah , well it 's the sparkle , is n't it ? I ca n't tell the difference .
Sales Assistant: Er , do you know the size you 'd like , sir ?
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: Well , how big 's a pork sausage ? I do n't know ! Fairly large !
Sales Assistant: That 'll be twenty - nine pounds and ninety - nine pence .
Dr. Malcolm Nicholson: I trust you 'll throw in a presentation box .