Ignignokt:  First we must train you . You ca n't go into battle like that .
Err: He 's right !
Ignignokt: You would instantly turn to vapor .
Err: Oh what you need is our free warrior kit !
Ignignokt: Oh most definitely .
Err: We 're selling it , and you 're buying it .
Ignignokt: It 's got the helmet , energy bars , electric shoes , Gorgotron repellent , Moon Master stickers , and now for the first time ... instructional video .
Err: And it 's all free !
Meatwad: M'kay how do i get that ?
Ignignokt: You pay far out the ass for it !
Err: It 's just three easy installments of $ 29.99 !
Ignignokt: Unless you want our race to die , which it seems like you do .
Meatwad: Oh no , no . I do n't want that ... But I thought you said it was free ?
Ignignokt: It was free . A true warrior would have jumped on it like a beast ... before it went straight up to $ 99.99 !
Meatwad: Well damn , I guess I do need training
Err: What you need , is recognition !
Ignignokt: For a one time charge , get your name placed in this handsome leather - bound volume of Who 's Who Among Moonmasters .
Err: You 're the only _ one _ , and you 're on page one !
Meatwad: Hey you know what , this a pretty good deal .
Err: Yes it is , Cathy .