Jeff Winger:  She 's _ 18 _ ! Her taste in men is still being established . Creepier and creepier dudes will start thinking of her as an option , and it all starts with Vaughn . He 's a gateway douche - bag .
Britta: People collide ! Things happen . It ca n't be controlled . Right ?
Jeff Winger: And that can be your toast at her shotgun wedding to Star - Burns ... oh yeah , turn to your left , turn to your right . Yeah , we can see BOTH of them . It 's like a constellation on your face ... Oh hey man , what 's up ?
Star-Burns: You see that guy over there ? He 's a douchebag .