Caroline Channing:  Why did n't you show up ? You told me you were going to be there .
Max Black: I had a lot of crap to do .
Caroline Channing: Well you gave me the impression you were going .
Max Black: I gave you the impression ? I do n't do impressions . Well wait that 's not true I do _ one _ , my mom , but to do that I need ; a Christmas tree , a gallon of vodka , and a lit cigarette .