Brian Kinney:  If I do n't get this account , I 'll be fucked . And without lube .
Emmett Honeycutt: And that 's a bad thing ?
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: It 's amazing how you always work anal intercourse into the conversation .
Brian Kinney: Hey , you try spending an evening with some back - slapping breeder from out of town , smoking cigars , and talking about pussy .
Theodore 'Ted' Schmidt: I 'd love to hear what you have to say about pussy .
Brian Kinney: That is a good thing you got _ one _ , because you would n't know what to do with a dick .
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Move over . So you boys in the mood for something sweet , or are you gon na pick up a little something at Woody 's ?
Michael Novotny: Ma , stop pinching my cheeks .
Deborah 'Debbie' Jane Grassi Novotny: Oh , bend over so I can pinch the other ones .