Axl Heck:  Everybody has a favorite everything , and , in this family , I 'm the favorite kid .
Sue Heck: Ha ! That 's hilarious . Why would you be their favorite ? You cause them so much stress , you get bad grades , you do dumb things with your friends . There is no way you 're their favorite .
Axl Heck: Oh , there is way . I was their firstborn . I was born when they still had love to give .
Brick Heck: Well , actually , I 'm the baby , so I 'm pretty sure I 'm their favorite .
Axl Heck: You 're a loser who misses a tomato . I win .
Brick Heck: Believe what you want , but in every book , every movie , the baby is always the favorite .
Axl Heck: Not when he 's an accident .
Brick Heck: That is not true ! Sue ?
Sue Heck: They called you " Oops " until you were _ three _ . Look , there is two of you , and I am the only girl . Everyone knows girls are easier . I am so , so nice . I 'm pretty sure it 's clear who the favorite would be , if they had a favorite , which they do n't .
Axl Heck: Sue , think about it . What do you really contribute to this family ? I mean , " Oops " is freakishly smart , I got recruiters all wanting a piece of the Ax . And , hm , what has Sue Sue Heck really brought to the party ?