Gena:  I mean , I got this theory about blowjobs . If you wanna hear it .
Barely Attractive Guy: Yeah . Yeah , sure . Should be interesting .
Gena: I personally believe that blowjobs are an extremely delicate thing . You know ? Like if you 're ranking him on a scale of 1 - 10 . Like 1 being blowing it kisses and 10 being I 'm like , choking on semen . Vomit just everywhere . I think you got ta start off with 4 's and with 5 's . Just enough so that you know and I know exactly what I 'm doing but with zero enthusiasm . I 'm giving you nothing . Because then you 'll just be like , alright fine I 'll just fuck her . Cause if I start off with a 10 I got nowhere to go . Why are you gon na spend any time fucking me ? You just came all over my face . So you start off small , right ? Build . I 'll give you a 6 after a fight when we 're making up . An 8 when you spent a shitload of money on me or get me something that 's a sweet gift or something . I 'll do a full 8 . Then I circle it back . Back to the 3 's , the 4 's , and 5 's because that shit every time without fail makes the guy 's dick alarm go off . You know what I mean when I say dick alarm .
Barely Attractive Guy: Yeah .
Gena: Right ? You 're gon na be like , hey baby what 's wrong with you ? You 're acting funny . Why so sad ? When really what you 're telling me is , goddamn it just suck my dick harder !
Barely Attractive Guy: So , um , let 's just say what would merit a _ 10 _ ?
Gena: What 's an example ? I do n't know . You 're like on an airplane . You 're going to a wedding for this girl you went to high school with and your ex - boyfriend who ruined your fucking life is gon na be there .
Barely Attractive Guy: Jerk .
Gena: All this pent up frustration sitting next to some dude you 're never gon na see again . That would warrant a 10 .
Barely Attractive Guy: Well , what about this guy ?
Gena: Oh no . I feel like I 'll definitely see you again .