David Rossi:  I ca n't imagine why not . We 're only asking for fifty thousand bucks of taxpayer money so that FBI agents can play Texas Hold ' Em .
Emily Prentiss: Hey , what about you ?
David Rossi: What about me what ?
Emily Prentiss: You could stake us the buy - in .
Dr. Spencer Reid: Yeah , you 're a best - selling author .
David Rossi: No !
Emily Prentiss: Why not ?
David Rossi: One , it 's against regulations , and I 'd like to hold onto this job for a little while longer .
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: It 's a minor administrative violation .
David Rossi: And _ two _ , I prefer to spend my money on actual things , like single - malt Scotch , a fine cigar , beautiful artwork .
Emily Prentiss: Poker chips are things .
Dr. Spencer Reid: Maybe just think of it as , like , a new experience . I mean , at your age , how often does that happen ?
David Rossi: At my * what * ?
Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Rossi , this may be our only chance to get this guy .
David Rossi: All right , fine . I 'm a decent poker player , but I ca n't promise that I can stay in the game long enough to ...
Emily Prentiss: You know what ? I bet you 're a great poker player , but what if we sent in Reid ?
Dr. Spencer Reid: I am banned from casinos in Las Vegas , Laughlin , and Pahrump because of my card - counting ability .
David Rossi: Look , I know I 'm not a genius like the boy wonder here , but poker is not blackjack . It 's about bluffing , reading human nature , head games . It 's not math .
Dr. Spencer Reid: That 's not entirely accurate . There actually is a mathematical equation for knowing when to raise and when to fold . If " P " represents the size of the pot at the time of play , than P x N - 1 , with " N " representing the estimated number of players at the final round of betting ...
David Rossi: Okay , fine . I surrender . Just try not to lose all of my money ?