Forgive my blunt-ness but, your mum is a bitch.    Personally, I don't think you should take any of the shit she says to heart.     (I know 'easier said than done' and I'm not in your position/haven't been in that exact same dilemma  myself or at least not for a while...etc)    I also think that you should try and call her out on it sometimes. I realise that might not be an option but I think if it becomes one you need to give her a piece of your mind, because the situation you're in is not sustainable and if a big bowl of shut the fuck up is what its gonna take, then give her some.    Again, I don't know the extent of the issue and haven't been in an identical situation myself, so take it with a big ol' grain of salt and perspective. Tis just my opinion.