I've always tried hard in things. In school, I studied every day and got good grades, tried to do volunteering, did student council and stuff, and did my best to be a generally nice person. But somehow, my friend was always better. She got similar grades without trying. She applied to the same scholarships that I did and got them all while I never got a single reply. Everyone seems to like her. I notice that whenever we are in a conversation with someone else, they look at her and only glance at me occasionally (I know, this is not something regular people would notice). She is even better than me in a completely luck based phone game we play. I lose in every area of life. I know comparing myself to her this way is unhealthy and self-destructive, and that I should focus on improving myself instead. But I can't stop. I've started to resent her for always having it easier than me. Now, on top of everything else, I feel like she's a better person than me for not hating her best friend.     I doubt anyone will care about this, but I just really wanted to get this off my chest after so long.