input: TEXT: Originally written by Alexa Junge. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. [Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.] MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon. ALL: Ohhh. MONICA: What? ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things? MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee? ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees? JOEY: Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun? ROSS: Yeah. PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are. MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. [Joey is staring at Monica's breasts] MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk. CHANDLER: Wow, it's, it's like porno for clowns. OPENING TITLES [Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.] ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come. MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper. JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper. PHOEBE: Why not her? JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff. CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't
  SUMMARY:
output: Monica only invites Rachel's mother, who is going through a contentious divorce from Rachel's father, to Rachel's birthday party. When Dr. Green unexpectedly arrives, an impromptu second party is set up at Chandler and Joey's apartment to keep the hostile couple apart. Things quickly go awry, but despite a few close calls, both Greens are kept apart.