TEXT: ACT ONE A ROOM WITH FOUR VIEWS Scene One - Frasier's Bathroom The Bathroom is dark, lit only by candles. Martin is having a massage. He tells his story. Martin: Ow! Easy. Masseur: Sorry, your neck is tight. Martin: Yeah, well, it's been a tense couple of days. Masseur: The holidays'll do that to you. Martin: Yeah well, this has been the worst Christmas ever. It all started yesterday... DISSOLVE TO: Frasier's Apartment. Martin and Frasier are decorating the tree by the balcony. Niles is making a small decoration whilst sipping his eggnog. Martin: You know the only part about Christmas I don't like? How quickly it's all over! Frasier: Yes. Come December 26th, it's all just a memory. With nothing but your light decorating touch to remind us. Daphne enters the room with Eddie. She watches the scene, unknowingly under the mistletoe. Daphne: Afternoon, all! Martin: Oh, hi Daphne! Niles: Oh! That's awfully dangerous, Daphne, standing there under that mistletoe. Frasier: That's enough eggnog, Niles! [takes his cup away] Daphne: You know, the oddest thing just happened. [Niles takes Daphne's coat, sniffing the fragrances] I was walking Eddie past that church over on Chestnut. And he turned to go inside, like he assumed that was where we were going. Frasier: That's strange! He did exactly the same thing with me yesterday when I was walking him. Daphne: Any idea why he would do that, Mr. Crane? Martin: Look, that dog's always doing weird things! Yesterday, when we were taking our bath together, Eddie spent fifteen straight minutes pushing the soap around with his nose like an otter. It's weird! [goes into the kitchen] Frasier: Yes, if he gets any weirder, we'll have to send "Eddie" to a home. Frasier follows Martin
SUMMARY:
The episode is mostly in the form of flashbacks from Martin, Daphne, Niles, and Roz in turn, who tell their stories while receiving massages (their Christmas present from Frasier). Christmas is approaching, and everyone in the Crane household has been having a miserable time. Martin has volunteered to play the part of a Wise Man in a local church pageant, and one of the requirements is to sing " O Holy Night ", which contains one dangerously high note. He has not told Daphne, but she detects he is keeping something from her, and knowing that he was expecting the results of a recent physical examination , she fears the worst. Niles gets trapped in the Elliot Bay Towers elevator and has to climb out, completely ruining his brand new suit. Frasier takes a phone call from Roz's mother, who will be visiting for Christmas, and advises her to be sympathetic to Roz about her pregnancy weight gain, unaware that Roz has yet to tell her mother she is pregnant.