TEXT: Originally written by Adam Chase and Ira Ungerleider. Transcribed by guineapig. [Pre-intro scene: Mon+Rach's place. Enter Ross] Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet. [A monkey (guess who?) jumps on to his shoulder.] All: Oooh! Monica: W-wait. What is that? Ross: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi? Monica: No, no, I don't. Rachel: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him? Ross: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab. Phoebe: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel? Chandler: Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on its ass! Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment? Ross: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Carol left, so... Monica: Why don't you just get a roommate? Ross: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- [Realises]....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for'really cool way to live'. [Intro] [Scene 1: Central Perk. Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there] Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman. Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman. [Enter Joey] All: Hey, Joey. Hey, buddy. Monica: So, how'd it go? Joey: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job. Ross: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year. Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political. Monica: So what are you gonna be? Joe
SUMMARY:
The gang makes a pact not to bring dates to their New Year's Eve party, but everyone soon breaks it except Ross. While performing at Central Perk, Phoebe confronts some noisy scientist guys then dates one, David ( Hank Azaria ), whom she brings to the party. Their relationship goes well until David and his research partner are offered a grant in Minsk, and he must choose to stay with Phoebe or go for career-making research. Monica invites 'Fun' Bobby, who arrives unhappy because his grandfather just died. Joey is uncomfortable around his date Sandy's children, who she brought to the party, though she ends up in the bedroom with David's friend. Rachel's plan to bring Paolo is derailed after he misses his flight from Italy. She arrives home from the airport disheveled and sporting a swollen lip after a fight with a woman over a cab. Chandler snaps, and invites Janice, but breaks up with her again after she mistakenly thinks he wants to get back together. Ross arrives with his new pet, a monkey named Marcel, who ignores Ross. In the end, everyone ends up without a date and fulfilling the pact. When Chandler whines he has no-one to kiss at midnight; Joey does the honors.