TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - Apartment It is morning, and Niles is playing the piano softly as Martin sits down to breakfast. Outside, it is pouring rain. Daphne brings a fry-up platter from the kitchen. Daphne: I love it when he plays the piano. No matter how gloomy it is outside, it makes everything seem a little brighter. Martin: I feel the same way about bacon. [serves himself] Daphne: He's so lucky to be musical. [to Niles, who has stopped] I'd give my right hand to be able to play the piano the way you do. Niles: Hmm, sounds a bit like O. Henry meets Steven King... [kisses her] but still, if you're serious, I'd be willing to give you lessons. Daphne: I'd love that! I've wanted to play ever since I was little, and my family would sing rugby songs after my brothers' matches. I can still see them, all muddied and bloodied, belting out songs like "The Old She-Crab" and "I Like A Moose." Once, one of Michael's teeth fell out right in the middle of "Four Old Whores"! As Martin and Niles trade a look, Frasier comes out in his suit. Martin: Hey, Fras. How was your date last night? Frasier: I'm having breakfast with you. You do the math. Niles: Coffee? Frasier: Oh, please. Thank you, Niles. Martin: Well, here's something that will cheer you up: eight years ago today, I moved in with you. Frasier: Eight years? Are you sure? Niles: Tbis is quite an anniversary. You weren't even with Lilith for eight years. Frasier: Please, Niles, I hardly think it's the same thing. Daphne: It's not that different. If you were a woman, you'd be his common-law wife by now. Frasier: Oh, well now, I don't think that's- Daphne: And think about this: if that date of yours had been the perfect
SUMMARY:
Over breakfast one morning, Martin happens to comment to Frasier that the day marks the eighth anniversary of the day that Martin moved in with him. The revelation makes Frasier unusually touchy, especially towards his father. His temper worsens when Martin accidentally spills oil over the carpet when trying to remedy a squeak in his recliner ; Frasier irrationally views the accident as a deliberate act of hostility on Martin's part. He moves the furniture onto the balcony while the carpet is replaced, and the chair, positioned underneath a telescope in direct sunlight, catches fire. When the brothers notice, their efforts to put it out only serve to knock the chair off the balcony . Ill-disposed to take a positive view of the situation after Frasier's recent behaviour, Martin angrily accuses him of deliberately destroying the chair in retaliation. When the hostility between father and son reaches the point where the two are no longer speaking, Niles decides to use his experience as a couples therapist to mediate. Frasier has an exact, new replica of Martin's old chair built. Daphne has expressed an interest in playing the piano, so Niles offers to give her lessons. He also agrees to teach Roz, who picks up the technique much more quickly than Daphne. Niles is willing to persevere with Daphne, until he hears that she has been taught before, and her last teacher committed suicide.