TEXT: Scene: The cafeteria. Howard: So, I got the craziest e-mail this morning. Raj: I don't mean to burst your bubble, dude, but those penile enlargement pills do not work. Howard: Believe me, I know. The e-mail I got was from the office of Stephen Hawking. Leonard: You're kidding. Raj: Why? Howard: He's coming to the university for a couple weeks to lecture, and he's looking for an engineer to help maintain the equipment on his wheelchair. Leonard: That's amazing. You'll be like his pit crew. A word of caution, I would not do your Stephen Hawking impression in front of him. Howard (in Stephen Hawking voice): You're right. I suppose that could be considered offensive. Raj: Oh, boy, Sheldon's going to freak out. Leonard: Yeah, he worships Hawking. Howard: I was actually thinking about bringing him along when I go over there so he can meet the great man. Raj: That's really nice of you, Howard. Howard: Hm, it's no big deal. Leonard: Boy, a restraining order from Stephen Hawking. It'll look so nice next to the ones he's already got from Leonard Nimoy, Carl Sagan and Stan Lee. Sheldon: Leonard, do you recall when I said that I was going to revolutionize humanity's understanding of the Higgs boson particle, and you said, Sheldon, it's two a.m., get out of my bedroom? Leonard: Like it was ten hours ago. What about it? Sheldon: Well, I believe I've done it. And I'm only saying believe to sound modest, because, sweet Sam Houston, I did it. Leonard: Really? Raj: That's incredible. Oh, here, break out the math. Sheldon: Oh, okay, let me see this. All right, so this particle here is the boson moving forward in time. Now, I was thinking... Howard, you go ahead and eat. This isn't going to make any sense to you. Howard: Sheldon, I have a working understanding of physics.
SUMMARY:
Howard is hired to maintain Stephen Hawking's motorized wheelchair while he is guest-lecturing at Caltech. He plans to introduce Sheldon to Hawking (Sheldon considers Hawking his idol) until Sheldon insults him yet again about his lack of a doctorate. Sheldon pleads with Howard to introduce him to Hawking, to no avail. He then asks him to give his paper on the Higgs boson to Hawking, to which he agrees, but only if he does several embarrassing tasks for him. Howard then asks him to give him a compliment about his job. Sheldon replies that he never said that Howard is bad at his job, he just feels that his job is not worth doing. Howard accepts his backhanded compliment and reveals that he had already given Hawking his paper three days ago and that he wants to meet him. Hawking is very impressed with Sheldon's paper, but then mentions that he had made an arithmetic mistake as a result of which the entire paper is wrong. At this, a shocked Sheldon faints.