TEXT: Act One. Scene One - KACL. Frasier is approaching his last caller of the day. Frasier: Well, we have time for one more caller. Roz? Roz: We have Ed on line three. Frasier: Hello, Ed, I'm listening. [no answer] Ed? [no answer] Ed? Well, we seem to have lost Ed. Let's take another caller. On line four we have.... Roz? Roz has begun eating and cannot talk because she has a mouth full. Frasier: Roz? Roz takes some milk but she still cannot eat it quickly enough. Frasier: We have.... Roz decides to mime. So she points to her eye. Frasier: Eye... Roz leans to the left. Frasier: Lean. [then:] Oh, Eileen. Hello Eileen, I'm listening. Eileen: [v.o:] Dr. Crane, I've been very happily married for twenty years and I wouldn't dream of cheating, but lately when we're making love I find myself fantasizing about people... other than my husband. Frasier: Well, that's perfectly normal. It's quite normal to spice up one's love life by imagining a tryst with, oh, a sports figure or a movie star or... Eileen: Or a radio psychiatrist? Frasier: Excuse me? Eileen: It's your voice, Dr. Crane. You must have the most sensuous voice on earth. Frasier: [putting on a sensuous voice:] Oh, I don't know, Eileen. Eileen: I've never seen your picture. Would you mind describing yourself? Frasier: Oh, well I don't really think that's appropriate... Roz: I'll do it. Frasier: Roz, I don't think... Roz: He's about six-one, with a granite jaw and the broad shoulders of a marine. He's been wearing his hair short lately but that only accentuates his cobalt blue eyes, his chiseled cheekbones and his
SUMMARY:
Frasier's Aunt Louise, who was not popular in the family for her tendency to criticize everyone, has died. Frasier has been left in charge of organizing her memorial and delivering a eulogy, and Niles is responsible for disposing of her ashes. Neither appreciates their task. Meanwhile, Daphne reveals that Martin has a collection of songs in a shoebox which he wrote years ago for Frank Sinatra, always dreaming that one day he may open a concert with them. The problem is that only the words are written down; the tunes are all in his head. Niles and Frasier are keen to help out.