TEXT: 3.04 - One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes OPEN IN LUKE'S DINER [Lorelai and Rory are sitting at a table] LORELAI: So, I think I'm in touch with the other side. RORY: The other side of... LORELAI: The other side. RORY: With republicans? LORELAI: No. Lately I've been having these dark premonitions. RORY: Oh, about what? [Luke brings their plates] LUKE: Dead cow, dead cow. [walks away] LORELAI: That's weird. RORY: He's always weird. LORELAI: No, I mean, my premonitions have been about death, about my death. RORY: I don't wanna hear this. LORELAI: And the thing is, they're all silly. RORY: What do you mean, silly? LORELAI: In one, I slip on a banana peel and fall into a giant vat of whipped cream. RORY: Silly and fattening. LORELAI: In another, a turtle eats me. RORY: A turtle, how? LORELAI: Very slowly. There's lots of chewing. RORY: And in your premonition, you didn't run away from what is perhaps the slowest land animal on the earth? LORELAI: His first bite injects me with immobilizing poison. RORY: Well, you left that part out. LORELAI: Now, this last one's a little more gory. I'm out hunting <unk> RORY: A favorite Lorelai Gilmore pastime. LORELAI: And my shotgun backfires and my whole face spins around a bunch of times and winds up in the back of my head like Daffy Duck. RORY: That's the silliest one yet. LORELAI: Now, if that's how I go, you gotta promise to move my face back to the front of my head like Daffy did with his beak. RORY: I should be writing this down. LORELAI: You
SUMMARY:
Lorelai's stint in the Stars Hollow High School local business success speakers forum gets derailed by some controversial personal questions, much to the delight of Luke and the consternation of some PTA mothers; Luke and Jess argue about the women in and out of their lives (and their closets); Lane alleviates her frustration about the strictures of her household and the future of her band through a colorful, if temporary, display of independence; Rory runs into Shane one too many times and succumbs to a severe bout of snarkiness.