TEXT: Story by David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips [mmatting@indiana.edu]. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein [dsilvers@scf.usc.edu]. [Scene: The hospital. Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.] ROSS: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here. MNCA: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet? ROSS: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug. [Joey makes a sound of absolute disgust.] JOEY: Do we have to know about that? MNCA: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby? JOEY: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing out cigars. CHAN: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the 50's. ROSS: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab. RACH: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction. [Everyone looks at Rachel as though she made a tasteless comment.] RACH: What, it's ok when Chandler does it? CHAN: You have to pick your moments. [PHoebe arrives, guitar in hand.] PHOE: Did I miss it, did I miss it? ROSS: She's not even here yet. MNCA: What's with the guitar? PHOE: I just thought we might be here for awhile. You know, things might get musical. [Carol and Susan arrive.] ROSS: [to Carol] Where the hell have you been? SUSAN: We stopped at the gift shop. CAROL: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky. ROSS: Susan
SUMMARY:
Carol is in the hospital about to give birth, prompting Monica to think about having a baby. While Carol is in labor, Ross and Susan bicker over who gets to assist her more and about what to name the baby. Phoebe drags them into a small room to settle their differences but they get locked in. Rachel flirts with an OB/GYN who suffers burnout from seeing female anatomy every day. Joey assists a single expectant mother (played by Leah Remini ) in labor. Ross and Susan settle their differences and propose naming the new baby boy, Ben, derived from a janitor's uniform. Carol likes the name.