TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - Radio Station. Frasier is sat in his booth reading some papers as Niles taps at his window. Frasier signals for him to enter. Frasier: Hello, Niles. Niles: Frasier, quick, give me your museum membership card. Frasier: What for? Niles: I just heard tickets go on sale today for the exhibit of fourteenth century Japanese netsuki figurines. Frasier: Oh, then the rumours were true? Niles: Hurry, hurry, I want to get there before the line forms. Frasier is about to hand it over when Roz enters. Roz: Five seconds. [exits] Frasier: Oh, just give me a minute, Niles. Just sit tight, huh? [on air, reading copy:] And we're back. Before we take our last call, I'd like to remind you that Mercy Hospital will be conducting free blood pressure testing this Saturday on Whidbey Island. Niles takes a peppermint out of his pocket and begins to unwrap it. The cellophane causes a crinkling noise which the microphone picks up. Frasier: Hypertension leads to strokes, heart disease and other maladies, so we should all be on the lookout for symptoms like shortness of breath, [motions at Niles to stop] quickening of pulse, irritability- [presses cough button] Oh, will you just shove the damn thing into your mouth! [Niles puts the mint and wrapper into his mouth; lets go] - So let's all join together to help defeat this silent killer. Niles now tries to pull the sweet wrapper out of his mouth, causing more noise. Frasier gestures him angrily into Roz's booth. Frasier: Roz, who is on the line? Roz: On line four we have Mac, who's recently moved here from Australia and he's having a problem with a co-worker. As Frasier takes the call, she points a warning finger at Niles. Frasier: Hello, Mac, welcome to Seattle, I'm listening. Mac: [v.
SUMMARY:
Bulldog targets a series of pranks at Frasier (which culminates in Frasier singing "Three Little Maids" from The Mikado in a falsetto voice live on air). Frasier decides to get back at Bulldog by releasing a lizard in the studio, after discovering that Bulldog has a phobia of them, only to watch in horror as Kate becomes his unintended victim.