TEXT: Dwight: Michael!? Michael: Oh! God. Dwight, come on... Dwight: I wanted to talk to you about the downsizing? Michael: There's no downsizing. Dwight: I, but if there were, I'd be protected as assistant regional manager? Michael: Assistant to the regional manager Dwight. Dwight: Yeah, so I don't have to worry? Michael: Look, look, look. I talked to corporate, about protecting the sales staff. And they said they couldn't guarantee it if there's downsizing, okay? Michael: But there's no downsizing, so just don't... Dwight: Bottom line. Do I need to be worried? Michael: Mmm, mm, mm. Maybe. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It looks like there's gonna be downsizing. And it's part of my job, but... blah! I hate it. I think the main difference between me and Donald Trump is that, uh, I get no pleasure out of saying the words, "You're fired." [as Donald Trump] "You're foir-ed. Uh, you're foir-ed." It just makes people sad, and an office can't function that way. No way. [as Donald Trump] "You're foir-ed." I think if I had a catchphrase it would be, "You're hired, and you can work here as long as you want." But that's unrealistic, so... [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: It's a real shame, 'cause studies have shown that more information gets passed through water-cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: Why'd you do this? Dwight: I didn't do it. What do you mean? Oh, the water cooler was brought over here for... maintenance. So what do you guys hear? What's the scuttlebutt? [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: Get set for Operation Morale Improvement starring Michael Scott. Now, I
SUMMARY:
As downsizing rumors swirl, paranoia takes over the members of the office. Dwight forms a " Survivor "-esque alliance with Jim against the other employees-later adding Pam also. Meanwhile, Michael arranges a morale-boosting birthday party for Supplier Relations representative Meredith Palmer ( Kate Flannery ), although her birthday is more than a month away. Michael agonizes over writing the perfect greeting in her birthday card , and in the end, his joke (and subsequent rejected ones) falls flat, ruining the party.