TEXT: Originally written by Sebastian Jones and Brian Buckner. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Everyone is there. Monica is watching stock prices on a business channel.] JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel? MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting. RACHEL: Ok honey, you really need a job. ROSS: Mon, speaking of which, dad says he knows someone you can call for an interview. MONICA: Really. PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there. ROSS: On behalf of everyone, I'd just like to say behuh. PHOEBE: No, 'cause you just said dad and everywhere I go today I keep getting signs telling me to go see my father. Like when I was walking over here and I passed a buffet...which is my father's last name. EVERYONE: Ahh. PHOEBE: And they were serving franks which is his first name minus the s at the end. And there was a rotisserie with spinning chicken. MONICA: His indian name? PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so. ROSS: Freakish. MONICA: Wow. JOEY: Freaky. MONICA: Weird, weird. RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger? PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him. MONICA: Why? PHOEBE: Hamburger. McDonald's. Old MacDonald had a farm, my dad is a pharmacist. OPENING TITLES [Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Ross enter in sweats carrying rackets.] CHANDLER
SUMMARY:
Chandler and Ross clash with two bullies at the coffee shop, one of whom steals Chandler's hat. Monica, down to her last few dollars, plays the stock market based solely on the ticker symbols to avoid taking a job at a tacky 1950s themed diner. Phoebe makes multiple attempts to visit her birth father, but instead meets her half-brother, Frank Buffay Jr.; she learns that her father left his second family four years earlier. Monica loses her savings due to her unwise investments, and is forced to take the job at the Moondance Diner , wearing a silly uniform and dancing on the counter to old songs.