TEXT: Act 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Classical music is playing on the stereo. Frasier hurries in from the kitchen, turns up the volume, and begins to conduct to the air. [N.B. "Variations on a Theme of Joseph Haydn," Op. 56, by Johannes Brahms.] Martin and Ronee come in the front door behind him. Smiling, Martin walks up directly behind Frasier as the piece ends. Martin: Boo! Frasier lets out a startled squawk as Ronee and Martin laugh. Frasier: That is not funny! You don't sneak up on someone and startle them! Martin: First of all, it's very funny. And secondly, I only did it to prove a point. Ronee: And you called it: he does scream like a woman. Frasier: I do not scream like a woman. It was a manly throaty wail. Niles comes in the front door. Niles: Frasier, you may want to call security. As I got off the elevator, I heard a woman screaming hysterically. Frasier: That was me! I was innocently conducting some Brahms and our madcap father decided to startle me. Martin: Oh, quit whinin'. I used to scare you kids all the time when we went camping and you used to love it. Remember the story about the couple making out in the car who got slashed by the killer with the hook? He sits at the table as Ronee brings some beers over. Frasier: Yes, and I remember I couldn't kiss a woman in a car until I was thirty. Ronee: Well, your father doesn't have that problem, Mr. Reclining Bucket Seats. Martin lets out a suggestive chuckle as she sits. Frasier: Want me to scream again? Niles: Dad, when'd you get the new cane? Martin: Oh, Ronee got it for me. He stands up to show it off. Ronee: Yeah, he's to young for that old-
SUMMARY:
Frasier is becoming fed up with his father playing tricks on him, and mocking the effeminate scream that his pranks provoke. It happens that Frasier is treating a patient who has the rare condition of coulrophobia - fear of clowns. Part of the treatment he has planned is to dress up as a clown , so he has a very comprehensive costume. In a bid for vengeance on his father, Frasier disguises himself as a clown, which Martin hates. After Frasier jumps out at him wearing the outfit, Martin has a heart attack and is hospitalized. This spurs Martin to propose to Ronee while recovering.