TEXT: Act One Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Daphne is sat at the table as Martin enters in a suit. Daphne: Oh, don't you look nice. Martin: Yeah, Frasier wanted me dressed up for this mystery lunch of his. Daphne: Ha hasn't told you what the occasion is either? Martin: No, [sarcastic] but I'm sure it's something very important. I'm sure he wants to unveil his new antique Elizabethan egg timer. Daphne: [laughs] Or debut his pre-Columbian spoon rest. They chuckle as Frasier enters through the front door. Frasier: Hello, all. Well, Dad, I see you're ready to roll. Martin: Can you at least tell us what kind of restaurant you're taking us to? Frasier: Patience Dad, Roz will be here in a few minutes and then we'll be off and all will be revealed. [sits with them] Daphne: So, how did it go with the doctor? Judging by that smile on your face I'm guessing your cholesterol's down. Frasier: Well, after several weeks of watching my diet and taking my medication and race-walking every Tuesday... it hasn't budged. The good news is, though, that I've developed bursitis to take my mind off of it. The doctor says it's all just a matter of aging. Well, no reason to let it ruin our festive lunch. Martin: Yeah, boy, you don't forget that trip to the doctor, do you? That day he says, "There's nothing I can do for ya, you're just getting old, sport." Frasier: In my case it was "slugger" but that was the gist. Martin: Yeah, well, you know what I realize? When people reach our stage of life... Frasier: Dad, please, with all due respect, when it comes to life's journeys, you and I don't share a stage, we're not even in the same theatre. Daphne: You're taking this all very cheerfully, Dr. Cran
SUMMARY:
Frasier has an announcement to make, for which he is taking Martin, Daphne and Niles out to dinner at Stefano's Italian restaurant. Niles refuses to go, making up an excuse about a patient's crisis; the truth is, he had an embarrassing experience at this restaurant as a child, and is still traumatized by it. Frasier has to make the announcement without him: the restaurant is putting a sketch of his face on their Seattle Wall of Fame, and the unveiling is that very evening. He is very proud, until he sees the caricature ; the artist has extravagantly exaggerated his forehead. Frasier insists on returning the following evening with Niles, to have a tactful word with Stefano about changing it. His criticism goes down badly as it emerges that the artist is Stefano's mother.