TEXT: Act One. Scene One - Café Nervosa. Frasier orders "a tall skinny to go" before briefly sitting with Martin and Niles. Frasier: You know I've only got a moment, you know I've started a very exciting project. Niles: Oh really? Frasier: Yes, you know this is KACL's fiftieth anniversary. I did a little research and found out they used to specialise in live radio dramas. So, I'm putting one on. Dad, surely you must remember those? Martin: Oh sure. Frasier: Yes, people of dad's generation would sit around at night, listening to the radio absolutely mesmerised. Martin: We were simple people. Frasier: All right, dad. Anyway, I've spoken to the station manager. He's given me thirty minutes, to re-create the very first mystery KACL ever aired; "Nightmare Inn." Martin: Oh don't tell me, I know: A bunch of people get caught in a storm, and everyone's wondering who's going to be the first one murdered. Frasier: Exactly, and I'm going to direct. Niles: So, we can stop wondering. Martin: What, don't you think your brother knows how to direct? Niles: No, the trouble is he doesn't know how to stop directing. During our prep school production of "Richard III" he drove the entire cast crazy with his constant critiquing. I seem to recall a delay on the opening night while our Richard chased Frasier around the dressing room, beating him with his hump. Frasier: Oh, that was just a little backstage horseplay to relieve tension. Niles: You'll have an Orson Welles complex. By the end of this week, you'll not only be directing, you'll have re-written the script and be playing the lead. Frasier: I have no intention of performing in it myself. The only re- writing I've done is simply cutting to get it down to thirty minutes. Martin: [reading script title:] "Frasier Crane's Nightmare
SUMMARY:
To help celebrate KACL's 50th anniversary, Frasier decides to stage a radio murder mystery and enlists several of his coworkers to act in it. However, his constant criticism and over-directing cause one cast member to storm out, forcing him to bring in Niles - who has to read several parts, all in different accents, without benefit of rehearsal. The actual performance degenerates into chaos due to a string of mishaps and the script changes that Frasier makes on the fly to avoid overrunning. Niles finally gets fed up and kills off the remaining characters out of spite, causing the performance to end nine minutes early.