TEXT: Scene: The paintball range. Howard: That was close. Raj: God, I love the smell of paintballs in the morning. Howard: Yeah, still funny, Raj. Leonard: There's no way we can get to the ridge. The Chemistry Department has us completely cut off. Howard: But what about the creek bed? Sheldon: The Pharmacology Department controls that, and they're all hopped up on experimental steroids. Raj: Well, that's it then, we're doomed. Sheldon: I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for some of us failing to attend my Physics Department paintball strategy meeting. Howard: I told you my mom has spider veins, I had to take her to the laser clinic. Sheldon: And I told you I wanted to see a doctor's note. Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods? Leonard: I forget. Which one is Hammer of the Gods? Raj: We hide behind the Dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee. Howard: No go. The Dumpsters are deep in Astronomy Department territory. Leonard: No, that shouldn't be a problem, Venus is up during the day. They're probably just all staring at the sky. Sheldon: All right, what we need now is a tactical retreat. Did you see the episode of Stargate where they found themselves on a planet with a culture based loosely on Earth's Athens and Sparta? Not important. Leonard, Raj and I are going to burst out the door and run away, Howard will cover us. Howard: Why don't I run away and you cover me? Sheldon: Because you chose your mother's veins over victory. On three. One, two, three, go! Howard: I had to take her! It's almost bathing suit weather!(Another player bursts through the door) I surrender! Don't shoot! They went that way! Leslie: Howard, I'm on your team. Howard: Oh, Leslie, thank God. Leslie: Where's the rest of your squad? Howard: Ah, they left me here to die. What about
SUMMARY:
After a paintball match, Penny accidentally shoots several green paintballs at Sheldon's couch cushion, and she and Leonard try hard to fix it. Sheldon, still upset and dissatisfied with his eventually dry-cleaned cushion, team-kills Penny in the next paintball game, causing the others to surrender. Meanwhile, Leslie and Howard begin a relationship after having sex (twice) during the match. Leslie secures funds for his work and even invites him to a trip to the CERN Large Hadron Collider project in Geneva, but threatens to withdraw the invitation unless he accompanies her to a wedding. So sex is just Leslie's way of controlling Howard. Although initially reluctant, Howard later happily accepts his role as a "sex toy/arm candy" after Leslie comforts him.