TEXT: Teleplay by: Tracy Reilly Story by: Robert Carlock Produced by: Robert Carlock & Wendy Knoller Final check by Kim [Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.] Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over. Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night. Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often. Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away. Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs) Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news. Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here. Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today... Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago? Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good. Phoebe: Wow! Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid. Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys. All: Hey. Rachel: Ooh, Italian! (she also grabs a plate) Monica: No one wanted seconds, right? Ross: No, no. I-I'm good. Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me. Ross: I'm up for tenure. Rachel: Congratulations! Ross: You too! What are the odds? Rachel: Ooh! (they hug) Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth. Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for... Phoebe: I do, he's been working on
SUMMARY:
Rachel has an interview in a restaurant for Gucci however her boss from Ralph Lauren catches her when he ends up at the next table and she ends up fired, with her erratic behaviour in front of the Gucci representative ( Brent Spiner ) causing her to not get that job either. By a twist of fate she bumps into her old colleague Mark from Bloomingdale's who arranges for her an interview which she passes, only for the job offer to be from Louis Vuitton in Paris . Newly married Phoebe tries to change her name to Phoebe Hannigan, but after learning from a government worker ( Craig Robinson ) that she can change her name to whatever she wants, she changes it to "Princess Consuela Bananahammock", but insists that her friends call her Valerie. Mike is unimpressed by this, and decides to make a point by changing his name to "Crap Bag". Eventually Princess Consuela gets it and changes her name again to Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan. Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler plead with a depressed Joey to see their new prospective house, and he meets an eight-year-old girl ( Dakota Fanning ) who makes him realize he needs to let them go.