TEXT: Act 1 IT WAS EITHER "THE WHEAT FIELD" OR "SANDSTORM" Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Martin is in the kitchen, getting a trim from Daphne while he goes over his mail. Martin: Geez, look at this stuff. "Golden Sunset Retirement Village," "Investments for Seniors," "Willow Brook Mortuary"? What the hell kind of list am I on? Daphne: Well, the good news is I don't think it's the kind of list they keep you on very long. Martin: Oh, ever since I turned sixty-five, all I get is geezer mail. It's very depressing. Daphne: If you ask me, the only thing depressing about being a geezer is looking like one. There's lots of things a person can do to make himself look younger. How he dresses... Martin: Nah, I tried those Jordache jeans. I just think you oughta leave somethin' to the imagination. Daphne: Well, there's always your hair. I know it's not exactly your style, but there's nothing wrong with covering up that gray. [Martin makes a face.] I know just the right shade for you: cinnamon sable. Martin: [thoughtfully] Cinnamon sable, huh? Sounds nice. Oh wait! I couldn't use that, it's Duke's shade. He'd scratch my eyes out. The doorbell rings. CUT TO: the living room as Frasier answers it. It is Niles. Frasier: Hello, Niles. Niles: [holding up a folder] Frasier, prepare to salivate! Frasier: Niles, if that is a picture of your new Biedermeier loveseat, you've already shown it to me. Niles: [pulling out a photo] No, this is a photo of my latest purchase: an exquisite, eighteenth-century Turkish prayer rug. Paid a fortune for it, but legend says whatever you pray for on this rug will come to you. Frasier: Certainly worked for the dealer. Oh
SUMMARY:
Frasier and Niles realize that they are both in a rut with their love lives and on the advice of Martin decide to throw a singles party. At the party, both compete over the same woman. Meanwhile Martin is having problems of his own; after dyeing his hair on the advice of Daphne he realizes that it has run and stained one of Niles' expensive chairs; Roz also finds a lack of interest from men due to her pregnancy. Halfway through the evening, Roz's waters break and she is rushed to the hospital, where she gives birth to her daughter, Alice May Doyle. Frasier, Martin, Niles and Daphne all turn up to see her. The group leaves a sleeping Roz with her baby.