TEXT: [Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.] Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce! Monica: Oh my God! Phoebe: Wow! Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?! Phoebe: No! Barry and Mindy. Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-who's Barry and Mindy? Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend. Joey: Ohh-oh, wasn't he cheating on you with her? Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me. Monica: Why did they get divorced? Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isn't that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be? Ross: I know what you mean, I've always wondered how different my life would be if-if I'd never gotten divorced. Phoebe: Which time? Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian. Joey: (starts to imagine it) I can't. I keep seeing it the good way. Ross: I'd bet I'd still be doing my kara-tay. (That's karate, he's just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from y'know, not doing anything else physical. Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay. Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure. Chandler: Sure I would! All: (simultaneously) Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right! Chandler: What, you guys really think that I'm that shallow? Ross: No, I just think Monica was
SUMMARY:
The gang ponders what might have been if Ross and Carol had stayed married, Monica had never lost weight, Chandler had pursued being a writer, Joey still worked on Days of our Lives , Rachel had married Barry, and Phoebe had become a stockbroker. The story then takes place in an alternate reality. Struggling Chandler becomes Joey's assistant with mixed results. Monica plans to lose her virginity to her boyfriend, Roger, but Roger's busy schedule interferes. When Chandler attempts to comfort her, they end up in bed together. Ross attempts to spice up his marriage with Carol by suggesting a threesome, leading to his realization that Carol is a lesbian when he is left out of the action. Rachel instantly falls for Joey after seeing him for the first time in Central Perk, and the two nearly have an affair before Rachel discovers Barry is cheating on her. Phoebe lands in the hospital with a stress-induced heart attack and is subsequently fired after losing her firm millions of dollars.