TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Frasier is doing his show. Vinnie: [v.o.] Anyway, Doc, I got this thing. It's, uh, got to do with women. Frasier: Well, I sense you're having trouble finding Miss Right. Vinnie: What, are you nuts? I meet Miss Right most every night! Eager young college girls, tough career women hungry for a little R-and-R, if you know what I'm saying... Frasier: Well, you're leaving precious little room for misinterpretation. But I sense, despite these frequent dalliances, that you're still not truly happy. Vinnie: Well, sure I am. It's just that I lost a pinky ring in one of their houses - star sapphire, beautiful thing. I figured if I went public with it on your show, I had a pretty good chance of getting it back. Roz rolls her eyes. Noel Shempsky comes into her booth and shows her a piece of paper. Frasier: Well, Vinnie, it's obvious you know nothing about this show, or how to treat women. But even more appalling, you know even less about jewelry! A pinkie no more needs a ring than a neck needs a gold medallion! Vinnie: Just shoot me, why don't you? Frasier: I'd be delighted! [disconnects Vinnie] We'll be right back after this. He goes to commercial. Roz comes into his booth, and Noel sticks his head in after her. Noel: Hi, Dr. Crane. Roz shuts the door in his face. Roz: He's driving me crazy! Frasier: Well, Roz, we can't all choose our admirers. Roz: It's gone way beyond the admiring stage. Have you seen this petition he's got going around? Noel comes in through the other door. Noel: Hi, Dr. Crane. Could you sign this petition someone "anonymously" posted in the lunchroom? It's to the talented producers of "Star Trek," suggesting a new
SUMMARY:
Maris has been missing without trace for three days. Frantic, Niles is convinced that she has been kidnapped, but Maris' recent credit card transactions are checked, indicating that she is merely indulging in a shopping expedition in New York City, and Niles is relieved. Frasier, on the other hand, is annoyed by Maris' lack of concern in going on a shopping spree without a word. He persuades Niles to stand up to his wife for a change and confront her about her selfishness, which he does. However, rather than apologising, Maris demands a divorce and throws Niles out. Frasier feels responsible, and gives Niles sanctuary at his place, but is unable to talk Maris round. Eventually Maris agrees to take Niles back on the condition that he apologize to her; he cannot decide whether to do so.