TEXT: Originally written by Jeffrey Astrof & Mike Sikowitz. Transcribed by guineapig. PRE-INTRO SCENE: CENTRAL PERK PHOEBE: (ENTERING) Hi guys! ALL: Hey, Pheebs! Hi! ROSS: Hey. Oh, oh, how'd it go? PHOEBE: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!' ALL: Ohh. Ouch. RACHEL: What? He said 'we should do it again', that's good, right? MONICA: Uh, no. Loosely translated 'We should do this again' means 'You will never see me naked'. RACHEL: Since when? JOEY: Since always. It's like dating language. Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'. CHANDLER: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'. PHOEBE: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'. RACHEL: And everybody knows this? JOEY: Yeah. Cushions the blow. CHANDLER: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm. ROSS: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm. MONICA: Uh, Ross. ROSS: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w-.....Oh my God, Chi Chi! (INTRO) SCENE 1: CHANDLER AND JOEY'S APARTMENT. (JOEY IS REHEARSING A
SUMMARY:
Monica is dismayed that everyone likes her new boyfriend, Alan, more than she does. Chandler starts smoking again. When the gang complains, he diverts the attention onto their own flaws. Phoebe's bank accidentally deposits a large sum into her bank account. When she reports the error, the bank gives her an additional amount. She gives the money to her homeless friend, who buys her a can of soda in return, only to find a severed thumb inside it. Phoebe uses the money the soda company compensated her to pay Chandler to quit smoking.