TEXT: Originally written by Jeffrey Astroff and Mike Sikowitz Transcribed by Josh Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan SIlverstein. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.] PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls. [Chandler and Joey enter.] JOEY: Hey. CHANDLER: Hey. RACHEL: Hey. JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year? CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad. MONICA: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies. CHANDLER: And twenty-five it is. JOEY: You gave him cookies? MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares... Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that. PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick. CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies? PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them. ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies? RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super. [There's a bang at the door.] MONICA: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy. [Joey opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper. JOEY: Oh my God. RACHEL: What? JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this. [Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.] RACHEL: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the
SUMMARY:
At Christmastime, Monica, strapped for cash, tips people using home-baked cookies, receiving mixed reactions. Phoebe discovers that the framed picture of her father that her grandmother keeps in her apartment is actually the photo model. She tries locating her real father, then decides she is unready to meet him. Chandler and Joey delayed Christmas shopping and scrounge gifts from a gas station. To win back Rachel, Ross asks her to make a list about him, then is offended when she calls him obsessive, among other things.