TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - Street Frasier is driving Niles in his BMW. They are in mid-conversation. Frasier: When the phone company says they will be at your door between the hours of nine and noon, they have entered into a verbal contract. If they show up at 12:47 they are in breach of said contract. Niles is shown to be carrying a birdcage on his lap. He is looking weary. Apparently he has been listening to Frasier rant for the entire drive. Niles: [with irritation] Again, I agree. Frasier: Well, I just shouldn't have waited for them, that's all. Now my entire day is thrown off. Niles: Still, I appreciate your taking the time to give me a lift. Frasier: Yes, well, when you informed me you had to get to the promenade shops posthaste, I assumed it was an actual emergency - not to return a cage for some silly lovebirds. They round a corner and stop at a light. Niles: It may not be on the order of a fallen pant cuff, but until I get home with something more secure, little Daphne and Niles are living under a colander. Frasier: Dear God... don't tell me you actually named them after yourselves. They start again. Niles: Big mistake, I admit. This morning when Daphne escaped, I just kept thinking, What if she's hurt or lost or eaten by a cat? Or worse... what if she meets a bird who's more birdly than Niles but without the substance? Frasier: [sardonically] Trust me. No one is more birdly than Niles. Niles: Thanks. They pull into a parking garage. Frasier takes a ticket. Frasier: What is with all this traffic? I tell you, don't these people have jobs? Some of us have a radio show to do! Niles: Frasier, relax, you're not on for another hour and a half. Frasier: [looking at the car clock] That can't be right. [checks his watch] Oh, Dear God!
SUMMARY:
While driving Niles to return a birdcage , on the way to KACL, Frasier turns his BMW into a multi-storey car park and takes a ticket. Suddenly realising that his show starts in fifteen minutes, he promptly drives round to the exit gate and explains to the attendant, George ( Luis Guzman ), that he decided not to park. George insists that he still pay $2, which is the standard charge for any portion of twenty minutes. Frasier objects on principle to paying when he has not parked, but when George refuses to let him out without paying, he decides to stay and get his money's worth, sitting in his car which is blocking the exit to all other motorists. Niles agrees that he is right to be frustrated, but tries to discourage his brother from this "peaceful protest" (as he insists on referring to it). Eventually, 20 minutes passes and Frasier pays $2. However, because he took time making a long speech he now owes $4. He then tells Niles to "hold on" and proceeds to drive through the barrier. Niles returns later at night and pays for the damage. Roz is compelled to start the show at KACL without him, and one careless remark while answering a caller's problem leads to the entire station discovering that she slept with Frasier. Meanwhile, it's a sad day in the Crane household as Daphne finishes moving out and Martin realizes just how much he's going to miss not having her around all the time.