TEXT: Doctor: I see you brought your wife along for moral support. Russ: Yeah. She's here to make sure I go through with it. Doctor: No one likes getting cut down there. A vasectomy's a very simple procedure. An incision is made above the testicles. We sever the tubes, then we seal them. That's it. No more sperm in the ejaculate. How cool is that? Russ: So cool. Doctor: May I ask what birth control method you're currently using? Russ: Oh, uh, abstinence. Lina: Condoms. Russ: But mostly abstinence. Doctor: What made you decide that a vasectomy is the right procedure? Russ: Oh, I didn't decide. This was pretty much all her. Doctor: Really? Lina: I just don't want him going off and starting a new family. He can barely afford the one that he has. Russ: Wow. You know what? While you're down there, just take the whole thing off. I don't need it. Lina: I'm comfortable with that. S01E03 Russ: Yeah, I think Lina feels bad about the whole surgery thing, so, she's taking me on a little romantic getaway. Jess: Oh. AJ: Oh. Jess: It's like a... vasectomy-moon. Russ: I guess. AJ: One last trot around the track before you're carted off to the glue factory. Jess: Who's watching the kids? Russ: What? You are. Jess: What? Russ: Dude, that's... Jess: Since when? Russ: We talked... Since... Jess (Laughing): I'm messing with you. AJ (Laughing): Looking so dumb. Russ: So not cool. No, I'm just excited for the hotel s*x. We haven't had real s*x in our own bed since, like, the kids. Jess: Mm. Russ: I feel like
SUMMARY:
Russ and Lina go on a romantic getaway to reconnect, but distractions get in the way of their romance. While there, they meet the young couple that is having loud sex in the room next to theirs. The woman is revealed to be the provider as her hunky boyfriend says he's saving for chef school. Russ convinces the young man to buy a classic car, getting him in trouble. Seeing the young couple quarreling turns on Lina, and she and Russ then have loud sex of their own. Elsewhere, the woman next door to Jess asks her to stop sexting her husband, and Shep makes things uncomfortable by grabbing Jess' phone and sexting the man, pretending to be her.