TEXT: Originally written by Brown Mandell. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. [Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.] [Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.] RACHEL: Ok, Chandler, Mon, there's only one bananna nut muffin left. [Rachel holds the tray between them. Chandler grabs the muffin before Monica can.] MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first. CHANDLER: Yeah, but I'm, I'm so much faster... MONICA: Give it to me. CHANDLER: No. MONICA: Give it to me. CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.] MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee. CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.] PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York. MONICA: [Chandler tries to come back with a smart-ass remark but can't swallow the muffin.] Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he can swallow. PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy. [Chandler is visibly upset] RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy? PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change. JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man? PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay. RACHEL: So wait, this guy goes down for like two years at a time
SUMMARY:
Phoebe catches chicken pox just as her old flame, Ryan ( Charlie Sheen ) arrives in town on leave from the Navy. Even though he has never had chicken pox, he wants to see her and they spend the rest of the time being sick and trying not to scratch themselves. Joey gets a temp job at Chandler's office and decides to play it as a role. He creates "Joseph", who has a wife and kids and ultimately blames Chandler for his own screw-ups. Monica is upset that Richard does not have a "thing" - an unexplainable quirk - like she does. He eventually thinks of one to please her.