TEXT: Teleplay by: Seth Kirkland Story by: Michael Curtis [Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.] Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica! (Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.) Chandler: Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn! Monica: That was a half an hour? Chandler: It's your timer. (They change places.) Monica: Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages! Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice! (She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.) Chandler: Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!! Monica: It's so good, isn't it? Chandler: It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it! Monica: Say good-bye to sore muscles! Chandler: Good-bye muscles!! Opening Credits [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.] Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just-I didn't know what it was! Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her. Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth. Ross: (walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey. Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.) Ross: Sorry. Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.) Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would
SUMMARY:
Phoebe's grandmother dies, and she is shocked when her father, Frank, comes to the funeral. Wanting to know more about him, she arranges an encounter without revealing her identity. Joey wants to look stylish for an upcoming audition, so Rachel helps out, styling him with a "man's bag" as an accessory. Joey loves the bag, but everyone else considers it a purse. Monica is upset that Chandler dislikes her massages, which he finds extremely painful.