TEXT: : The Cheesecake Factory. Raj: I'm telling you, if xenon emits ultraviolet light, then those dark matter discoveries must be wrong. Sheldon: Yes, well, if we lived in a world where slow-moving xenon produced light, then you'd be correct. Also, pigs would fly, my derriere would produce cotton candy, and The Phantom Menace would be a timeless classic. Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a superhero, your name would be Captain Arrogant. And you know what your superpower would be? Arrogance. Sheldon: You're wrong again. If my superpower were arrogance, my name would be Dr. Arroganto. Howard (laughs): I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together. Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice. Raj: Has it occurred to you you're missing the big picture? If you look at neutron scattering data... Sheldon: Oh, Penny? Penny? Penny: What's up? Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking. Howard (after Raj whispers to him): No, no, no. He won. Suck it up. Penny: Well, I'd ask you guys if you want dessert, but I know Sheldon doesn't eat dessert on Tuesdays. And even if Raj wanted something, he couldn't tell me. Howard won't order anything, but he will come up with some sort of skeevy comment involving the words pie or cheesecake. And Leonard's lactose intolerant, so he can't eat anything here without his intestines blowing up like a balloon animal. Leonard: Hang on a second. I could have the fruit platter. Penny: You want the fruit platter? Leonard: Does it have melon on it? Penny: Yeah. Leonard: No, I can't eat melon. Penny: Oh, Howard, heads up. Your ex-girlfriend just came in for her shift. Leonard: When was the
SUMMARY:
Howard resumes his relationship with Bernadette after Penny points out that she is his best chance of being with a real woman, as opposed to masturbation. Meanwhile, Sheldon and Raj get into a dispute when Raj brings a large desk into their small office.