TEXT: Michael: Hello hello. Top of the morning to you! Ooh ooh! Green M&Ms! Nature's Viagra! [Grabs and pours Kevin-esque scoop of M&Ms into his coat pocket] Two of my favorite joke areas combined. It'll be a good day. [SCENE_BREAK] Kelly: I don't want to bring my friends, why can't it just be the two of us? Ryan: Because it's St. Patrick's Day, people go out in groups. Kelly: Well why don't you invite your friends? Ryan: Why are you being so weird about this? Meredith: Stop fighting. Just on St Patrick's Day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids. Ryan: Why no kids? Kelly: Yeah, where are your kids? Meredith: Nope. Nuh -uh. Not today! [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: It is St. Patrick's Day, and here in Scranton that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Welcome back, "Dad!" Jim: Oh, thank you! Phyllis: Hey! Stanley: Hey! Andy: Welcome back Tuna! Jim: Hey... [reveal Dwight's Mega-Desk] Dwight: Very good. Okay. Will get back to you right away on that, thanks. Jim: What do we got here? Dwight: Mega-Desk. Jim: Of course. Dwight: Command central. Jim: Hm hm. Dwight: Surveillance, gaming- and business. Jim: Okay. [Pulls desks apart] Just gotta... Dwight: Okay. Come on! Jim! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Dweedle Dee and Dweedle Dumb-ass have been away on maternity leave. Now Dweedle Dumb-ass is back, and we have a problem. Yes, getting hooked on Mega-Desk was my own damn fault. But... I don't care about assigning blame. All I
SUMMARY:
Michael thinks he has impressed Jo, only to discover that someone else in the office has caught her eye. Dwight makes trouble for Jim on his first day back from paternity leave. Andy and Erin go on their first date, with interesting results.