TEXT: Act 1 Scene 1 - Cafe Nervosa Fade in. Roz is sitting at the table by the bookshelves, Frasier comes up and joins her. Frasier: What a glorious day! Can't help but put a bounce in one's step, can it? Roz: [trying to open some aspirin] If you're gonna be cheerful, sit somewhere else. Damn it! I broke a nail. Frasier: Here. Frasier takes the bottle as Niles comes up. Frasier: Oh, hello, Niles. Niles: If my life gets any worse, I'm phoning Hell to ask about their exchange program. [He sits.] Frasier: Well, lucky me, I stumbled in at happy hour. He opens the aspirin and gives it to Roz. Frasier: Here. So, Niles, Maris at it again? Niles: Oh, worse. It's so depressing I can barely talk about it. My gourmet club is holding elections to see who will win this year's Golden Apron... Roz: Wait. I can see I'm gonna need a hanky for this. Niles: [to waiter] Latte, please, to go. Normally, the finalists compete by giving lectures. I'd written mine, a waggish look at food fads of yesteryear entitled "Fondue: What Were We Thinking?" Frasier chuckles and nods approval. Niles: Suddenly last night, disaster. Someone proposed that instead of giving lectures, this year's finalists compete by hosting dinner parties in their homes. Roz: So? Why don't you invite 'em all over and cook 'em a meal? Niles: At the Shangri-La? I can't tell the cream of Seattle's gourmet set that I've moved out of the Montana and into that gulag with a game room. I'll just have to drop out of the race. Frasier: Let's not be hasty. Let's give this some thought. Every problem has a solution. Roz: Do you call that a problem?
SUMMARY:
Niles' gourmet club will soon be awarding the annual Golden Apron Award, and the final phase of the contest requires each contender to host a dinner party at their home. Niles is too ashamed to allow the club into his apartment at the Shangri-La, but remembers that Maris has a beach house that would present a perfect setting, and she is out of the country. On first inspection of the house, everything seems fine, until they discover a dead seal lying on the beach outside. Desperate that this evening should go well, Niles and Frasier must then hurry to dispose of the creature before the party starts.