TEXT: Act One. Scene One - Frasier's Bedroom. It's just after seven in the morning and Frasier is fast asleep. Eddie runs in and jumps on the bed. Eddie has an electric voice box attached to his collar. Martin is obviously offstage with a microphone, as his voice comes through the box. It is done to sound like a dog. Martin: [v.o. as Eddie] Rrrr'appy Rrrr'irthday, Rrrr'aiser! Frasier: [wakes up, sarcastically] Eddie! You can talk! Martin: [v.o. as Eddie] I've always been able to talk. I just save it for special occasions like somebody's rrr'irthday. Frasier: Yes, Eddie, thank you very much. But listen, I'd like to talk about Dad. I think his mind may be slipping. Martin enters with his microphone. Martin: Hey, don't say things like that. He's a dog, he might not know you're joking. Frasier: Why, Dad, I didn't even know you were here! [smirks] Martin: Well, just give me a couple more minutes and I'll have your birthday breakfast all ready. Come on, Eddie! Martin exits as Eddie follows him. Martin: [v.o. as Eddie] Rrright behind you! Frasier gives a glance out of the door as he begins to get up. CUT TO: Living Room Martin is pouring some coffee as Frasier enters in his dressing gown. Frasier: Oh, well, that's very nice, Dad. Martin: Oh, and look what I got. A newspaper from the day you were born. [hands it to him] Frasier: I keep telling you to clean out that closet of yours! [sits down and reads it] Martin: I ordered it! Frasier: Yes well, let's just see what other wonders occurred on that day. [laughs and reads] "SUSPECTED PINKO OUTED FROM CROSSING GUARD POST" What a jolly world I was
SUMMARY:
Frasier pulls a muscle in his back and is confined to home. He has been irritable with Daphne recently, and while thinking out load in the presence of Eddie, he realises that this is because she will soon leave the household and he will miss her. Daphne emerges, unnoticed, to hear Frasier confess that he loves her. She does not realize that his feelings are platonic , and is horrified and embarrassed. When she tell Martin that Dr. Crane has confessed his feelings for her, he assumes she is referring to Niles and confirms it. Frasier soon realizes that, as Niles has not been present to confess anything, Daphne has misinterpreted. He takes the opportunity to assure her of this. Daphne is relieved, and gives Frasier a massage as his strong medication begins to work. In his drowsy state, his speech is unguarded, and when she revisits what Martin said, he reveals that it is Niles that has feelings for her.