TEXT: Michael: The fundamentals of business. The funda-mentals of business. "Mental" is part of the word, I have underlined it. Because you're mental, if you don't have a good time. You have to enjoy it. Toby: Well the "fun" is in it. [conference room group chimes agreement.] Michael: Get out. Toby: [halfway out] Yeah, I know. Michael: Yes. So, it all starts with a handshake. But you can't just go right to the selling, you need "small talk." What topics can you use for small talk? Andy: Golf. Michael: Mmhm. Andy: Stock market. Michael: Mmhm. Andy: Dave Matthews. Michael: Yes, what else? Creed: Uh, small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes... Michael: No. Meredith: The weekend! Michael: Yeah! That's good! Come on up! Meredith, come up here. Let's do a little something. So Meredith and I have just started conversing and I will say, "So Meredith, how was your weekend, what did you do?" Meredith: Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. Michael: All right... Meredith: He calls it an upper decker. Michael: Okay, okay. God. What you people don't know about business, I could fill a book with. Ryan: Then do it. Michael: What? Ryan: Write a book. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: [into mini recorder] The fundamentals of business by Michael Scott. Over one billion sold. More than the Bible, I'm not surprised. Chapter one. The businessman... [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: [Michael walks in office, man waits on couch] Mr. Grotti, this is Michael Scott. He's the person you should talk to. Michael: Oh hi. I'm sorry, just a sec. [whispers] Erin, you're supposed to be the gatekeeper, do you have any idea how valuable my time is? Erin: In your schedule it just says
SUMMARY:
Michael meets with an insurance salesman and is convinced by Dwight and Andy that he is part of the Mafia . The staff constantly call Jim and Pam on their honeymoon, until finally Kevin accidentally cancels Jim's credit card while using Jim's office as a farting room. Dwight, Michael and Andy set up a lunch meeting with the insurance salesman.