TEXT: Teleplay by: Adam Chase Story by: Zachary Rosenblatt [Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.] Ross: Hey, remember when I had a monkey? Chandler: Yeah. Ross: Yeah, what, what was I thinking? Joey: (he's just picked up their bill) Hey! So, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong? Chandler: Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip Joe. Joey: Y'know what's more generous than that?! Fifty percent! Y'know what's even more generous than that?!! Chandler: I see where you're goin'! Ross: What's up with the greed Joe? Joey: All right, look I'm sorry you guys, but it's just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And they're really expensive, y'know? I'm down to like three! Well, actually two 'cause one of 'em I kinda blackened in some teeth-Why did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.) Ross: Well isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, can't-can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here? Phoebe: Or, y'know, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if you've got y'know a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin' on. Wow! I still have it! Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Don't you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe you'll get that job! Joey: Oh, ha-ha-ha! Ooh! Wait a minute, I used to get medical experiments down on me all the time! Chandler: (reminiscing) Ah, finally an explanation. Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Let's see uh, well I don't want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office y'know? (
SUMMARY:
Rachel and Phoebe take self-defense classes. Ross, who previously practiced karate , stages a surprise mock attack to convince them they lack unagi , supposedly a state of "total awareness", though unagi is Japanese for eel. Chandler and Monica celebrate Valentine's Day several days late, but when they forget to make each other homemade gifts, Monica gives Chandler one of Phoebe's "sock bunnies". Chandler finds a mixtape in the closet and gives it to Monica, unaware it was a present from Janice, complete with her recorded voice. When Joey applies for an identical twin research project that pays $2,000, he recruits someone to play his "twin".