TEXT: Act 1 Scene 1 - KACL. Frasier is finishing his show. There is a crowd of people outside in the corridor. Frasier: Well, that's our show for today. But before we close I'd like to invite you all to join us here at KACL in wishing a fond farewell to our Happy Chef, Leo Pasquale, as he bubble-wraps his crepe pan and heads south towards sunny Santa Fe. Leo, you stirred us with your passion; melted us with your charm; added spice to our lives. Now as you whisk yourself away let's not say goodbye, but rather "tartar" for now. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, KACL 780. Roz: [coming into the booth] Well, at least you stopped short of saying, "I'll be fricasseeing you." You ready to go to Leo's party? Frasier: Oh, dear God, there is nothing I detest more than a KACL goodbye party. They're all the same - twist-top wine with a bunch of people standing round awkwardly trying to summon up some affection for someone they hardly even know. It always ends up reeking of insincerity. Bulldog enters the booth, practically in tears. Bulldog: What are we gonna do, Doc? He's leaving us. Roz: Bulldog and Leo were tight. Frasier: Well, Bulldog certainly is. Bulldog: I love that guy, man. He'd give me all his leftovers. Roz: I warned Leo: you keep feeding him, he'll keep coming back. Bulldog: You going to his party? Frasier: Well, actually I think I'm going to pass. Bulldog: Oh come on Doc, you gotta at least have a drink, give him a hug. Frasier: That is precisely what I'm trying to avoid. Since when did we become a society of huggers? We hug for everything nowadays. "Hello" - hug; "Congratulations" - hug; "Nice haircut" - hug. It's absurd. I mean, if we want to express real emotion for
SUMMARY:
Niles is in good spirits; his separation from Maris could soon be over, as he is suggesting marriage guidance counselling . However, a courier arrives with divorce papers. In a box of papers belonging to Martin, Frasier and Niles discover an old journal belonging to their late mother, which details with remarkable accuracy what appears to be the relationship between the brothers. Niles is shaken by his mother's assertion that he "constantly allows himself to be cowed and dominated, especially by females", and at this point reveals that he has not signed the divorce papers, but instead sent them back with a grovelling letter. The brothers break into her house and retrieve the letter before she reads it. Determined not to be pushed around any more, Niles signs the divorce papers. However, upon further reading of their mother's notes, they realise that the Frasier and Niles she was describing are laboratory rats.