TEXT: Scene: The apartment. Penny and Amy are playing a ski-ing game. Penny: Wow, you're really good at this. Amy: Well, I have an extremely low centre of gravity. I'm like a pyramid. Penny: How you doing over there? Leonard: Oh, I hope it's just a sprain. I cannot walk into that E.R. with another video game injury. Penny: Hey, Sheldon, you want to play next? Sheldon: Oh, I would, but I'm on my way out. Leonard: Where? Sheldon: Texas. Amy: Right now? Why? Leonard: Is someone sick? Sheldon: Yes. My sister's uterus came down with a baby. Penny: Oh, she's pregnant? That's great. You're gone an uncle. Uncle Sheldon. Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper. Amy: How come you never said she was pregnant? Sheldon: Well, I never told you about my brother's kidney stone. You want to hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals? Leonard: Well, congrats, and it's nice you're gonna be there for your sister. Sheldon: Yes. I'm filling in for her husband who's recovering from a horrible motorcycle accident. Lucky duck. Penny: Wow, so, how long will you be gone? Sheldon: Well, she's due tomorrow. Although it did take her six years to finish high school, so who knows? Amy: Can I give you a ride to the airport? Sheldon: Oh, no, thank you, I don't want to be an inconvenience. Chop-chop, Leonard. We leave in ten minutes. Credits sequence. Scene: The apartment. Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone, so the tree decorating rules are out the window. Penny: Yeah, which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament-spacing template. Leonard: And I'm happy to report its kickstarter campaign is holding strong at zero dollars. Penny: Ah. Raj: Wait, so Star Wars and Star Trek characters can go
SUMMARY:
Sheldon travels to Texas to help with his sister's home birth, but is as usual totally self-absorbed and unsympathetic to his sister's discomfort, and no help at all. Between video calls, his friends wonder how their lives would be had they never met him (as in It's a Wonderful Life). Penny notes Leonard would have been too afraid to date her, Bernadette thinks she would not be with Howard because of his strange friendship with Raj, and Leonard speculates Penny would be living with Zack, who would trade money for useless items such as beans. Amy suggests that if Leonard had not moved in, Penny would have tried to seduce Sheldon in Leonard's absence, while Howard notes he would be caring for his mother even after her death (as in Psycho), and Raj and Leonard suggest they would be obese flatmates owing to Raj's cooking and Leonard's loneliness. Amy thinks she would be sad and alone. After Amy encourages Sheldon to be with his newborn nephew, Raj observes that Amy has significantly influenced Sheldon, and Leonard shows her her picture on Sheldon's screensaver, among the other scientists Sheldon admires the most. On returning home, Sheldon tells Amy he would have preferred her to have been in Texas with him (or instead of him). In a final Cheesecake Factory scene with Howard and the obese Raj and Leonard, Leonard asks Penny out; she turns him down to reveal she is dating an extremely cool Stuart. The scene changes to reveal this as Stuart's fantasy while sitting alone in the restaurant.