TEXT: Originally written by Betsy Borns Transcribed by Mindy Mattingly Phillips [mmatting@indiana.edu] Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein. [Scene: At Monica and Rachel's.] MONICA: Who da wenny-Benny boy? You the Wenny-wenny-Benny-Benny boy, yes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Why is he still crying? ROSS: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Ben stops crying) Huh? There we are. MONICA: Maye it's me. ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants. CHANDLER: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody. ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica) MONICA: There's my little boy. (Ben starts crying again) CHANDLER: Can I uh see something? (Takes Ben. When he puts him close to Monica, Ben cries. When he moves Ben away, he stops crying.) JOEY: Cool. MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me. ROSS: Come on, don't do this. MONICA: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then? CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat. (Chandler has a basketball which he is moving closer to, then away from, Monica) JOEY: Goo, goo, goo, waaah! MONICA: That is so funny. Let me see that. (throws the ball out the window) JOEY: Are you ok, Ross? ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie? MONICA: Uh, I don'
SUMMARY:
When Monica rushes Ross to the emergency room after he suffers an allergic reaction, Chandler and Joey babysit Ross' baby son, Ben. They use him as bait to attract girls, but women think they are a gay couple. After accidentally leaving Ben on a bus, they are unable to identify which of two babies is Ben at the city's lost & found. Phoebe loses her Central Perk gig to a professional performer ( Chrissie Hynde ), so she defiantly sings outside the café. Also, a stranger Giovanni Ribisi , who accidentally dropped a condom in Phoebe's guitar case, rushes back to reclaim it for an "emergency." Catherine Bell appears as Robin, one of the girls in the bus.