TEXT: Act 1 A VALENTINE FOR NILES Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. The apartment is set up for a romantic dinner. Niles is on the phone, Eddie is sitting on the ottoman. Niles: Francois. It's Niles Crane. You delivered some champagne earlier for Valentine's Day? Well, you brought over the '88 and I asked for the '85. Yes, my date will know the difference, she happens to be the president of my wine club. Thank you, thank you. Yes, remember, I won't be at home. No, I'm not entertaining at the Shangri-La, my brother was kind enough to let me use his apartment. He crosses the apartment and puts a hand on Martin's chair. Niles: Well, what could I do? I threw a blanket over it. All right. Now, hurry, please, this woman is very particular. [He hangs up and looks at Eddie.] Lucky for you she loves dogs. [N.B. Throughout the rest of this scene, all of Niles's dialogue is mutters or mumbles as he deals with the situation.] He starts a CD of Mozart's "The Marriage of Figaro" on the stereo, then sits on the couch. He examines a crease on his pant leg, then adjusts it. He then uncrosses his legs and compares the creases. He stands up and fluffs his pants legs out, then sits again. He looks at his watch, examines his crease again, then gets up. He goes to the kitchen and brings back the ironing board and a cloth. He sets up the board and plugs the iron in. He removes his shoes, then his trousers, turning his back nervously on Eddie to do so. Laying them on the board, he covers the crease with the cloth and begins pressing them. After glancing at his watch, he begins pressing faster. Reaching for the cuff, he notices a loose thread. He tries to pull it off, then bite it off, but is unsuccessful. He rushes over to the desk and gets a pair of scissors from the drawer. He starts
SUMMARY:
It is Valentine's Day . In preparation for a date whom Niles has invited over to Frasier's apartment for dinner, Niles attempts to iron a crease out of his trousers, and disaster ensues when they catch fire and he loses control of the extinguisher . Frasier is meeting with Cassandra Stone, the station's new marketing manager, but is unsure as to whether it is a romantic date or just a business meeting. Meanwhile, both without dates, Martin and Daphne decide to have a meal together and discover what it is like to be dateless.