TEXT: [N.B. This episode originally had a subplot about Daphne trying to expand her physical therapy clientele, featuring actress Ana Gasteyer as a physical therapist observing the techniques Daphne used with Martin. Director David Lee later said the subplot hadn't turned out as well as hoped, so the subplot was scrapped. Gasteyer returned to play housekeeper Trish Haney in [10.07] "Bristle While You Work," which was filmed after this episode.] [Act 1 Scene 1 -Frasier's Apartment Martin is lying prone on a gurney. Daphne massages his hip.] Martin: Ow! All right, all right, I'll talk! Just make the pain stop. Daphne: Oh, shut up. I'm just trying to get the blood flowing. Martin: Oh, more like make me hemorrhage. Daphne: Don't tempt me. Martin: Oh, God, you broke something! Daphne: Too bad it wasn't your bloody pie hole! There, we're done, you big baby. Martin: [genuinely disappointed] What, already? [rising] Oh, that felt great! Oh! I feel like a new man. I love your new table. Daphne: Oh, you're sweet. Can I make you a sandwich? Martin: Oh, that'd be great. Yeah. Oh, by the way, Daph, you know, they're showing the first-ever episode of Rockford today. If you're really serious about becoming an American citizen, maybe you ought to watch it. [Martin sits in his chair. Frasier and Niles enter. Frasier is holding an envelope.] Niles: Well, now you've opened it. That's mail theft. Frasier: Nonsense. Martin: What's going on? Frasier: Nothing. Just another piece of Cam Winston's mail has found its way into our box. It's been happening a lot since we switched mailboxes. Even after I gave the postman a stern lecture. Martin: Especially after. Frasier: Anyway, it was an honest mistake. Cam and I are on all the same
SUMMARY:
Owing to an item of misdirected mail, Frasier learns of a very exclusive new spa in Seattle called La Porte d'Argent . When he discovers that membership is strictly by invitation only, he persuades Niles to masquerade as Cam Winston (whose name is on the list) so they can get past the receptionist. Once inside, they find the service expensive but excellent, and are quite contented until they discover that there is an even more exclusive gold membership. Roz calls in a favor to get the brothers admitted, and they enjoy the luxurious pampering - until they notice yet another door, this one completely unguarded. Believing it to be the entrance to an even higher level of membership, they sneak through only to find themselves locked out of the spa in its garbage-strewn back alley. At the same time, Martin and Daphne are struggling to bond after she became his daughter-in-law, finding a common fondness of old television shows like M*A*S*H .