TEXT: [Elder Gilmore home: front door] (Doorbell rings, maid answers the door.) LORELAI: Oh, I'm late. EMILY: I know. LORELAI: Blame the insane people driving in front of me. They had a "honk if you love to scuba dive" bumper sticker on the back of their car, so I honked. EMILY: You don't scuba dive. LORELAI: Yes, but I've been testing people who have "honk" bumper stickers lately to see if they really want people to honk. Guess what? They don't. I lay on my horn, and this alleged scuba diver slows to a crawl in front of me just out of revenge, and I'm screwed. EMILY: You need a hobby. LORELAI: Yes, actually. EMILY: Come on, Rory's waiting. (They walk into the living room.) RORY: Hey, what happened? EMILY: She honked. RORY: Oh, another bumper sticker test. LORELAI: I just thought up a great idea for a reality show. You pull people over who have those "honk if you love whatever" bumper stickers, you kidnap them, and you make them do whatever the bumper sticker says they like to do, whether they do it or not. And then you make them eat bugs. EMILY: So I hear you have a new boyfriend. LORELAI (gasps): How did you -? RORY: Not from me. EMILY: Don't jump on Rory. LORELAI: How, Mom? EMILY: Kirk told me. RORY: Kirk? LORELAI: Kirk who? EMILY: How many Kirks do you know? LORELAI: My Kirk? Stars Hollow Kirk? Kirk who hasn't started shaving yet, Kirk? How did you find out from him? EMILY: I called the Inn looking for you, and Michel answered, but he was in the middle of some argument with the horse veterinarian. Then there was a cracking sound and the phone
SUMMARY:
After Kirk spills the beans that her daughter is dating Luke, Emily demands that Lorelai bring him to dinner so that they can get reacquainted; although Lorelai tries to warn him away, Luke goes anyway and is subjected to an evening of oblique insults from a passive-aggressive Emily; after Zach announces that he's ready to start going out with Lane, they spend a cozy first date at home after banishing Brian to Lane's bedroom; having not learned his lesson with Emily, Luke agrees to accept Richard's invitation to go golfing, and both men turn a deaf ear to Lorelai's pleas to cancel; Rory gets her story on the "Life and Death Brigade" by being blindfolded and whisked away by Logan and his friends to observe the elaborately staged weekend in the woods, and finally, after Logan encourages her to take a risk, to participate in the event's breathtaking finale.