TEXT: Act One. Scene A - Frasier's booth at KACL. Frasier is on air. Frasier: You're listening to KACL 780 on your AM dial. This is Dr. Frasier Crane. All our lines are open, so please, give us a call. [silence] I'm just sitting here waiting. [silence] Hey, Seattle, c'mon, I know you're out there. Hey, look, I realise it's a sunny day but on all those rainy days, I was there for you. [silence] Well, alright then, if that's the way you want it, you leave me no recourse... [clears his throat; singing] "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie-" His board lights up. Frasier: That seems to have gotten you going there, okay! Alright then, I knew you were out there. Okay, Roz, who do we have? Roz: We have Gary from Issiqua on line two. He and his wife had a big fight. Frasier: Sorry to hear that, Gar. I'm listening. Gary: [v.o.] Well, y'see, Dr. Crane, my wife is hell-bent on going to Italy this year. Frasier: Ahh, Italia - the rolling hills of Toscana, the art of Firenze, the passion that is Venizia... Gary: [over his head] Yeah, well, anyway - I like taking vacations as much as the next guy but I say that, if we dip into our savings, I think the first thing we should buy is a new sump-pump for the basement. At least with that- Frasier: [interrupting] Oh, listen, Gary. Let me stop you right there. I'm afraid I'm going to have to side with your wife on this one. Gary: But the trip to Italy costs eighteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't include the "Splendours of the Vatican" package. Frasier: Gary, there is more to life than sump-pumps. Whatever happened to feeding our souls?
SUMMARY:
Frasier throws a cocktail party to show off a new painting he has bought, but is humiliated when the artist appears and declares it's a forgery. When Frasier's attempts to return the painting to the gallery fail, he plots revenge against the gallery owner.