TEXT: Stanley: [humming] What the hell? No. This is NOT happening. Erin: Didn't you get the memo? It's Stairmageddon! [claps and opens the door to the stairwell] Come on Stanley! [claps] [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Dwight is having maintenance done on the elevator today, and he was really on top of it. Weeks ago, he started the Stairmageddon Awareness campaign. The idea was to get us prepared, both mentally and physically, for a day that hopefully comes once in a 100 years. It's a... "Mageddon!" [SCENE_BREAK] Erin: Come on! Come on, Stanley! Stay in it! Stanley: [growls] I put 17 damn years into this company, and now they're making me climb Stair Mountain! Erin: Come on! [claps] [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: Our office has an unusually large number of... unusually large people. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: This is an abomination. Erin: Come on. You got this. Here. [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: So when something as routine as elevator maintenance happens, and people are forced to expend cardiovascular effort, we have to compare it to the end of time. [SCENE_BREAK] Andy: Red alert! Red alert! The reviews are in! I repeat, the reviews are in. Oscar: What? Andy: I just got a text from my brother. Scranton Times Tribune.com. There's a review of the documentary! Phyllis: [gasps] What does it say? Andy: I don't know, Phyllis! I just got the text and started screaming, "Red Alert." Dwight: Well, the alert was already set to "Red" because of Stairmageddon. You think I should set it to "Double Red"? Andy: I think we should. [SCENE_BREAK] Stanley: [drinks a 5-Hour Energy shot and groans] [SCENE_BREAK] Oscar: "The Office: An American Workplace airing on PBS next month is
SUMMARY:
The elevators are under maintenance and the office workers have to walk up the stairs, a situation everyone deems the "Stairmageddon". Exhausted after climbing the stairs, Stanley refuses to go back down in order to close a sale with one of their bigger clients. Dwight is forced to shoot Stanley with a few bull tranquillizer darts to knock him out. Dwight and Clark then take a drugged Stanley on the sales call. Pam and Jim spend time talking with Nellie and Toby respectively about their marital troubles and couples counselling. Angela attends a press conference with the senator who outs himself as gay on television, and shocking both her and Oscar, reveals his relationship with his chief of staff. Andy meets with a talent agent named Carla Fern ( Roseanne Barr ).