TEXT: Scene: The cafeteria. Sheldon laughs to himself. Sheldon: I wish you could all be inside my head. The conversation is sparkling. (Pause) Fine, I'll tell you. A lichen is an organism made up of two separate species, fungi and algae. If you could merge with another species, what species would you pick and why? Hint, there is a right answer. None of you will get it. Raj: Okay, uh, I'd pick swan because, uh, the resulting hybrid would have the advanced industrial civilization of a human and the long graceful neck I've always dreamed of having. Sheldon: Wrong. Leonard? Leonard: Horse, but mostly just for the height. A little bit for the genital girth. Sheldon: Wrong, and let's keep it clean, shall we? Howard: Kangaroo, uh, I'd be a Kanga-Jew. The first of my people to dunk a basketball. Leonard: Also instead of just living in your mother's house, you could actually live inside her body. Sheldon: Clever, but also wrong. No, the best organism for human beings to merge with is the lichen itself. That way, you'd be human, fungus, and algae. Triple threat. Like three-bean salad. Leonard: Give me one circumstance in which that would be useful. Sheldon: All right, picture this, a beautiful outdoor concert. Now, as a human, I appreciate Beethoven. As a fungus, I have a terrific view, growing out of a towering maple tree. And no thank you, expensive concessions. Because as an algae, I'll just snack on this sunlight. Raj: He got us again. Leonard: No, he didn't. Raj: Anyway, if it's okay with you, we should talk about Howard's bachelor party. Sheldon: Well, seems like a bit of a let down after our lichen conversation, but, what do you know, you're half swan. Raj: I've been doing some research on strippers. One agency I spoke to, said I could
SUMMARY:
The guys are planning Howard's bachelor party. Howard tells them that no strippers should be hired for the party, as he had promised Bernadette. Stuart, Kripke and Wil Wheaton are also invited. At the party, everyone offers a toast. A drunk Raj talks about his friendship with Howard revealing various and sundry things about Howard. Wheaton records Raj's entire speech and uploads it onto YouTube. When Bernadette, who doesn't know anything about Howard's perverted and womanizing past, sees the video, she becomes extremely upset and becomes unsure about marrying a man that she doesn't seem to know. She even becomes upset at Penny because she was the one who introduced her to Howard, despite knowing about Howard's past. She confines herself to her bedroom, not returning Howard's calls. Howard gives Penny a message to pass on to Bernadette saying that he is sorry, that he is as disgusted by his past as she is and credits her for reforming him, which reduces Penny to tears, moved by the genuineness of his apology. When Bernadette hears this, she immediately forgives him, though she is still mad at him, and adds that the wedding will still take place. The episode ends with Leonard wanting to have sex with Penny in the laundry room, which she refuses.