TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Frasier, dressed in black tie, answers the door to Niles, dressed similarly in his tuxedo. Frasier: Evening, Niles. Niles: Frasier. Everybody ready? Frasier: Just about. Niles: Ooh! New cufflinks, those are very smart. Frasier: Oh yeah, you've seen these before, haven't you? I always wear them with the tux. Niles: Of course you do. Well still, nothing catches the eye like a sharp pair of cufflinks. Niles rubs the back of head, letting his golden cuff links flash in the light. Frasier: And those are very nice too. Niles: [acting] Oh, these... Frasier: Gold? Niles: Yes, well I knew you'd be wearing silver. I didn't want us to look alike, you know. Then Roz, dressed in a black evening gown, arrives with Alice. Roz: Hello. Frasier: Hi, Roz. Come on in. Roz: Sorry I'm late. Frasier: That's all right. Daphne speaks up from the laptop she's busy on. Daphne: Hey, Roz. Roz: Daphne, thank you so much for watching Alice. She's way overdue for her nap. Maybe I can get her to sleep. Frasier: Oh, great. Well, set her down in my room. You know, we don't want to be late for that silent auction. Roz: You know, I can't believe you've donated another "Day Behind the Scenes of the Frasier Crane Show" this year. Frasier: Well, why not, Roz? It's for a good cause. The Kelly Ann Grunther foundation does excellent work. Roz: Well, you weren't trapped in my booth with that mouth breather for three hours last year. Frasier: Well, he wasn't that bad. Some kind of engineer, wasn't he? Roz: Well, he wasn't a dental hy
SUMMARY:
Niles, Frasier, Martin and Roz attend a silent auction for the Kelly Anne Grunther Foundation. Niles stumbles upon an auction for a luncheon with three Nobel Laureates , and soon finds himself bidding against Frasier. The two become determined to beat the other. When the auction closes, Niles has the highest bid, but a second seat at the table is opened up as long as Frasier can match him. The two brothers are aghast to realise that they have paid over $8,000 for a lunch. Later that night, over sherry in Frasier's apartment, Niles and Frasier ask themselves where their harsh sibling rivalry originated, and reminisce about how they once took IQ Tests while they were younger. Their mother never told them the answers; only that they were 2 points apart. In an effort to bring closure to their rivalry once and for all, Martin reluctantly agrees to show them the results, and it soon transpires that whilst Frasier has an IQ level of 129, Niles has the larger IQ: 156. At first, their responses are mature and non-competitive, but their true feelings cannot be concealed for long. The brothers attempt to outdo each other by studying all night in a university library. Frasier drinks a great deal of coffee to stay awake, and Niles takes some allergy medicine to deal with his dust mite and parchment allergy problem. The medicine makes him dopey, and he proceeds to pass out at the luncheon table, destroying everything, just as the Nobel Laureates walk into the room.