TEXT: ACT ONE Scene One - KACL Frasier is doing his show. Frasier: You're on KACL with Dr. Frasier Crane. We have time for one more call. [pushes button] Hello, Gretchen. I'm listening. Gretchen: [v.o.; German accent] Well, you see, Dr. Crane, my husband is a fencing instructor, and lately he spends all his time with his wealthy new student. He's with her day and night, and I'm afraid there's some... bumsen going on. Frasier: Well, is this just a suspicion or do you have any evidence? Gretchen: No, it's just a feeling. Frasier: Well, unfortunately, in these matters there's no simple way to know for sure. Roz: Yes, there is. Frasier: Well, Gretchen, you're in luck. It just so happens that we have in our studio today one of the world's five leading bumsen experts. Roz: If you want to know if a man is cheating, you offer him two choices for dinner: one that's rich and fattening, and one that's light and sensible. If he picks the one that's calorie-packed, he doesn't mind turning into a bloated pig, which means he's happily married and you're in the clear. Frasier: You know, Roz, when I hear advice like that, it makes me wish there was a law against two or more women gathering at a water cooler. Now, Gretchen- Gretchen: Does it really work, Roz? Roz: Oh, trust me. If he chooses the diet plate, it means he's staying in shape for his main squeeze, and you should get yourself a lawyer who can sue the sweat off a racehorse. Gretchen: I'm going to do it. Thank you for your help, Roz! Oh, and you, too, Dr. Crane. [hangs up] Frasier: Don't mention it. Well, "Dr. Crane and Friends" will be
SUMMARY:
Frasier receives a call on air from a woman whose husband he suspects to be having an affair with Maris.