TEXT: Skyline: Lights come on in various buildings. ACT I [Scene 1 - A small specialty foods store. Frasier and Niles walk in.] Niles: Oh, uh, get a cart. Frasier: Oh, could you get it, Niles, please? They're so small they make me feel like I'm some sort of fairy tale giant. [Niles gets a cart. It looks like a child's toy.] Niles: Hey, any thoughts about what to serve? Frasier: Well, I thought we might serve a house-cured gravlax with crème fraiche and a sprig of dill. Niles: Oh, in other words the usual. Frasier: For your information, Niles, people happen to like it. Niles: Yes, people like animated musicals. [NB: I can't let this pass. I love animated musicals. And both Kelsey and David have done voice parts in animated musicals. So there! - Kelly Dean Hansen] Frasier: Oh, honestly. Niles: Frasier, look! Caviar. Frasier: They haven't had any in ages. This is just what we need to make our soiree soignée. [chuckles and examines the caviar] Whoa. Good heavens. It's $100 an ounce. Niles: Well, it must be mis-marked. [to the owner] Excuse me! Is the Beluga really $100 an ounce? Robert: [heavy French accent] Yes. Frasier: Well, isn't that rather a lot to pay? Robert: To you, yes. To the fish who gave up her life so that you could spread her unborn children on a cracker, it's not so much. [N.B. Francois Giroday reprises his role as Robert from [5.17], "The Perfect Guy".] [A man in black, with a leather jacket, approaches them.] Petyr: [heavy Russian accent] You know, the reason for such high prices is the Russian mafia. They control this market. Niles: [stupidly] The
SUMMARY:
While shopping for ingredients for an at-home soirée , Frasier and Niles are outraged by the price of Beluga caviar . Their protests are overheard by a rather shady-looking individual, who claims to them that the Russian Mafia control the market and keep the prices up. He also says he can supply high-quality caviar at more reasonable prices, and after tasting one sample the brothers are more than convinced. The guests at their party are also very impressed, and all sorts of social opportunities start opening up for Frasier and Niles in return for supplying the caviar. Roz helps with the transactions in return for a share, and becomes gradually fixated to the point of addiction . However, their supplier becomes worried that too many orders draw attention, and stops making deliveries. Determined not to lose their social advantages, the Cranes decide to track down The Caspian Queen , the Russian ship which brought the caviar to the USA. Unfortunately, Customs are on the same trail. Meanwhile, Martin has been overpaid by a cash machine , and Daphne insists that he return the extra money to the bank and clear his conscience, but they find the process surprisingly complicated.