TEXT: Michael: Pam. Pamela. Pam-elama-ding-dong. Making copies. Pam: I'm not making any copies. Michael: Let's go. Messages. Stat. Lots to do, lots to do. Information superhighway. Pam: Nothing new. Michael: Lay them on me. What? Pam: There's nothing new. Michael: That's not what you said earlier. Pam: Oh, do you want me to repeat the messages that I gave you before for the... [nods toward camera] [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: The most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today, I am in charge of picking a great new health care plan. Right? That's what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um... Yes, in a way. Yeah, like a specialist. [SCENE_BREAK] Jan: So, which health plan have you decided on? Michael: I am going to go with the best, Jan. I am going to go with the one with the acupuncture, therapeutic massage, you know, the works. Jan: Wait, acupuncture? None of the plans have acupuncture. Have you looked at them closely Michael? Michael: I think it was you who didn't look closely enough at the Gold Plan. Jan: The Gold Plan? I'm not even on that plan. Michael: Well, I'd recommend it. It's very good. Jan: Michael. Michael: You gotta crack these things open. Jan: You know the whole reason that we're doing this, is to save money. So you just need to pick a provider and choose the cheapest plan. Michael: Well, that is kind of a tough assignment. Um... It won't be popular decision around the old orifice. Jan: It's your job. So... Michael: Well, it's a suicide mission, you know. Jan: Michael... maybe... I mean... Michael: There, there... Jan: Sometimes a manager, like yourself, has to deliver the bad news to the employees. I do it all the time. Michael: [scoffs
SUMMARY:
In an effort to save money to prevent downsizing, Michael puts Dwight in charge of choosing the company's new health care plan. Dwight's chosen plan slashes benefits, much to the chagrin of the other employees. In an attempt to appease them, Michael promises the entire office a surprise, and then spends the rest of the day scrambling to come through with his promise. The employees wait for Michael's surprise, which he awkwardly never delivers. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam amuse themselves with Dwight's medical forms.