TEXT: Act One. Scene A: KACL Radio Station. Bulldog is in the middle of his show. Frasier is watching from the corridor. Bulldog: [on-air]...4 for 17 on Sunday, he calls himself a quarterback? I've passed kidney stones with more accuracy! Frasier: [to Roz, who's just passing by] Roz, Roz. Listen, could you go in there and get my briefcase for me? I was just on my way out but I left it in the studio. Roz: Why don't you go get it? Frasier: Well, because every time I go in there, he puts me on the air and humiliates me. Roz: Well, what do you think he does to me? Last week when I went in to get my car keys he introduced me as Martina Navratilova's girlfriend. [leaves] Bulldog: [ringing a cowbell] Well Chuck, I'm really sorry I offended you. Now why don't you put your skirt back on and do some dishes? Frasier opens the door and crawls into the studio. His briefcase is sitting on the console near the door. As he reaches out for it, Bulldog, who has seen him, picks up the briefcase and moves it to the other side. Frasier, keeping his head down, reaches a hand over the console and gropes blindly for it. Bulldog: The lines are open. And how about some real men calling instead of crybabies like Chuck? He raps Frasier over the knuckles with his drumstick, making him jump to his feet. Bulldog: Well... look who's just crawled into the doghouse, it's Dr. Frasier Crane! And you know what we always do when we get a house call from the doctor. [puts tape in machine] Tape: [Italian] Dropp-a your pants and bend over, I take-a your temperature. Frasier: Hello, Bulldog. Bulldog: [holding up briefcase] So, doc? Who's your pick for the Giants- Saints game this weekend? Frasier: [wearily]
SUMMARY:
Frasier takes part in a bachelor auction, where he is "bought" by Kristina, a model. He invites her for dinner at his apartment, but when she arrives, Kristina announces that she has some urgent business and needs Frasier to look after her daughter, Renata. Frasier learns from Renata that her mother is neglectful, leading him to criticize Kristina heavily when she returns, only to discover that Renata had invented the bad behavior she described.