TEXT: Dwight: Last week I gave a fire safety talk. [clears throat] And nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. [lights a cigarette] Today, smoking is gonna save lives. [throws cigarette into garbage can filled with paper and lighter fluid] [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: [looking around office to see if anyone notices the smoke] Does anyone smell anything smoky? Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again? Dwight: [clears throat] Pam: [points to smoke] Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God! Phyllis: What-- Andy: Whoa, fire! Dwight: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people? Pam: The phones are dead. Dwight: Oh, how did that happen? Kevin: It's out in the hall. Dwight: No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct. Michael: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm. Dwight: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure? Michael: Stay [bleep] calm! Dwight: Wait, wait, wait. Michael: Everyone, now [bleep] calm down! Dwight: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway. Michael: What does warm mean? Everyone: [groaning] Oh my God. Dwight: Not a viable option. Pam: Try a different door. Dwight: Okay, what's next? Michael: Don't run. Dwight: Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle? Andy: It-- it's warm. Dwight: Well, uh, another option. [everyone chattering at once] Jim: Back door. Dwight: Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching! Phyllis
SUMMARY:
Dwight stages a fire drill which causes a panic and Stanley has a heart attack . With stress levels high, Michael tries a number of ways to get his employees to relax before discovering that he is the number one cause of stress at work. He stages on a no-holds-barred roast of himself, but feels hurt at the jokes. Andy, Pam and Jim watch an unlicensed movie with special guest stars Jack Black , Jessica Alba , and Cloris Leachman . Pam's parents are going through marital troubles and separate after her dad hears how much Jim loves Pam.