TEXT: 3.14 - Swan Song OPEN AT ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [Lorelai, Rory, and Emily are eating dinner] EMILY: And then she just brushed me off with a wave of her regal hand. Not even a word, just a...like I'm her cabana boy. Next thing you know, instead of just walking out of the room, she'll make me bow and back out. Imperious attitude, she never gives it a rest. I schlepped her to the doctor the other day <unk> by command, not request <unk> and the elevator operator there greeted us nice and friendly. Her doctor's on the second floor and by the time we got there, that operator was in tears. LORELAI: Whew. EMILY: What? LORELAI: Well, Mom, you just did twenty straight minutes on Gran. EMILY: It wasn't twenty minutes. RORY: It was getting there. LORELAI: How about a moratorium on the Gran stories for a bit? EMILY: Fine. I'd rather not spoil the meal with talk of her. LORELAI: Good. EMILY: I should just wash my hands. LORELAI: Okay. RORY: We'll wait. EMILY: I mean of her. LORELAI: Oh, good, wash those hands. EMILY: She sucks her olive pits. LORELAI: Short moratorium. EMILY: Trying to extract every last ounce of flavor out of them like she does people. LORELAI: She sucks flavor out of people? RORY: Can we change the subject? EMILY: Life, not flavor. LORELAI: Hey, you know what Gran needs? EMILY: What? LORELAI: A fella. RORY: With or without an umbrella. EMILY: He'd have to look like an olive pit to get her attention. LORELAI: It's like a Dean Martin Roast. RORY: Those are never funny to me. LORELAI: Yeah, they're mean. RORY: Except for Don Rick
SUMMARY:
Emily guilts Rory into bringing Jess to a Friday night dinner which turns out to be an unqualified disaster; Lorelai, Alex, Sookie and Jackson go to New York for the weekend; Jess gets a black eye in an altercation with an opponent he is too embarassed to reveal to anyone but Luke; Zack and Brian realize that Lane and Dave are hiding something from them, but miss the mark on the true nature of the secret; Rory and Jess have their first argument, and Luke helps patch things up.