TEXT: EXT. - CHURCH - DAY [Church bells are heard. Several people stand just outside the main entrance, which is decorated in lace and bows. There's a red carpet leading to the entrance.] [Title card: Mendocino, California - 2003.] [Robin walks out the doors in white tuxedo; the people 'ooh' and 'ahh' and clap and throw rice. Robin smiles as she walks out. Everyone looks to the doors expectantly.] Voice: Where's Claybourne? [Robin looks around. Claybourne is not there.] INT. - CHURCH - DAY [Claybourne and another woman are ravishing each other.] Woman: Oh! Claybourne! Claybourne! f*ck! Oh! EXT. - CHURCH - DAY [Robin looks at the ground sadly.] [Opening credits.] INT. - ATTORNEY JOYCE WISCHNIA'S OFFICE - DAY [Tina is sitting across the desk from Joyce Wischnia. All around are framed newspaper articles and photographs of Joyce's career as a civil rights attorney. One newspaper article headline screams "Lacerating Lesbian Lawyer". Next to it is a picture of Joyce posing with Bill Clinton.] Tina: It was, uh, Bette's house. She bought it before we met. But she put me on the title after I moved in. Joyce: Did you contribute to the mortgage payments? Tina: I offered, but Bette never wanted me to. (sighs) I made pretty good money as a Development Executive, but not as much as Bette and she insisted on paying the mortgage. Joyce: And you always did what Bette wanted? Tina: No. Joyce: Did you pay for anything? [Joyce picks up a couple of ping-pong balls off her desk. She turns in her chair and hurls them at a huge felt wall sculpture of a uterus, with fallopian tubes and ovaries and little fabric pockets under them. The little ball hits with
SUMMARY:
Tina hires a feminist lesbian lawyer named Joyce Wischnia ( Jane Lynch ) to help with her separation from Bette. Dana and Tonya have a get-together with Dana's parents to discuss their upcoming nuptials. Ivan gives Kit the cold shoulder as she prepares to finalize her purchase of The Planet coffeehouse from Marina's visiting estranged husband. Jenny enrolls in a creative writing class at UCLA taught by the stern and cynical Charlotte Birch ( Sandra Bernhard ) in which the latest writing assignment makes Jenny decide to break up with Robin after she discovers Robin wishes to marry her. Dana and Tonya take Alice, Shane and Tina for a night on the town to a strip club where a girl, who looks like Bette, dances in front of her.