TEXT: Jim: [Dressed as Dwight] It's kind of blurry. [puts on his glasses] That's better. [exhales] Question. What kind of bear is best? Dwight: That's a ridiculous question. Jim: False. Black bear. Dwight: Well that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought--- Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Dwight: Bears do not--- What is going on--- What are you doing?! [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Uh, four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble. And that's a grand total of... [Jim calculates the total on his calculator-watch] eleven dollars. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. [Jim places a bobble-head on his desk] Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year! Jim:... MICHAEL! Dwight: Oh, that's funny. MICHAEL! [SCENE_BREAK] Pam: [on phone] Yes, I understand. Can I transfer you to customer relations? Jim: [on phone] Absolutely. I couldn't be more sorry about this. Phyllis: [on phone] I know, I know. We're all trying to get to the bottom of this. Stanley: [on phone] I am upset. Don't I sound upset? Michael: [on phone] It is disgusting. I totally agree. Well, we're going to recalling all of that paper. [SCENE_BREAK] Michael: We have a crisis. Apparently, a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided that it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24 pound cream butter stock. Five hundred boxes has gone out, with the image of a beloved cartoon duck, performing... unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I
SUMMARY:
Paper from Dunder Mifflin Scranton with an obscene cartoon watermark left by a disgruntled paper-mill ex-employee are accidentally sent out, throwing the business into damage control. The accountants attempt to provide service for angry customers, while Michael contacts the media in a misguided attempt to avoid scandal. Meanwhile, Jim and Andy go to a local high school to apologize personally to the principal, and they bump into Andy's girlfriend, who turns out to be a student there.