TEXT: Act One. A LONG TIME AGO IN A PREP SCHOOL FAR, FAR AWAY... Scene One Many years ago, in a Seattle prep school, a young Niles and a young Frasier are having lunch and a discussion in the school cafeteria. Of course, they were even more snobbish then than they are today. As Frasier eats, Niles carefully wipes his utensils with a napkin. Young Frasier: I specifically requested my macaroni & cheese al denté. Young Niles: I know. This lunch is a culinary Hindenberg. Young Frasier: Niles, have you ever considered that our food may be payback for your recent editoral, "Cafeteria Of Shame"? Young Niles: Well, they can't intimidate me. They'll never silence my pen. I could write an exposé on their baked goods alone. Young Frasier: [knocks bread roll on table before a pun alert:] Yes, this is the hardest roll since Hamlet! Young Niles: Good one, Frasier. May I use it? Young Frasier: But of course. Fade Back to the present day, Niles and Frasier are in Café Nervosa, still whittling on about the food. Niles: These biscotti represent an all-time low. Chalky aftertaste, inelegant aroma, spongy! Frasier: Yes, and what is a spongy biscotti but an unwelcome trespasser into Madeline territory? Niles: Have you seen how stale these pistachios are? It's like swallowing gravel. It's a wonder I escaped permanent injury. Frasier: [sarcastic:] Yes, your ability to cheat death at every turn never ceases to amaze. Niles: Someone's in a mood today. Frasier: Yes, sorry Niles. You know sometimes you just find yourself getting restless? Niles: I'm fearing I'm about to. Niles mobile sounds to which he answers. Niles: [to phone:] Hello.
SUMMARY:
Frasier is losing interest in everything he and Niles do together, such as their wine clubs. He decides to try other things, such as Martin's poker game that night with Roz, Duke, Frank, Leo, and Jimmy. After giving up due to not understanding Duke's rules, Frasier goes with Daphne to an English pub , The Fox and Whistle. When Frasier starts going to the pub every night, Daphne feels that Frasier is invading her turf. Martin suggests she tell him, but when she does it is revealed Daphne has only been going there a month, just two more weeks than Frasier has. Frasier and Daphne decide to have a game of darts to see who will be the bar regular. Both do well, but Frasier, despite winning, is run out of the pub after making anti-British comments in the heat of battle.