TEXT: Scene: The cafeteria. Leonard: They are not. Raj: They are, too. Leonard: Your hypothesis is completely disconfirmed by all the data. You're just clinging to it out of intellectual stubbornness. Raj: No, you're displaying a shocking ignorance of the subject matter. Mummies and zombies are the exact same thing. Leonard: Oh, yeah? Mummies are wrapped in bandages. Raj: That's called a fashion choice. Leonard: All right, you brought this on yourself. Sheldon, get him. Sheldon: If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. However, if a mummy bites you, all you turn into is some schmo with a mummy bite. So, like a zombie, that's been eaten from the waist down, you, sir, have no leg to stand on. Leonard: Good boy. Here's a cookie. Sheldon: Oh, thank you. Howard: Hey, fellas, what's going on? Leonard: Oh, mummies and zombies again. Howard: Oh, they're not the same thing. Leonard: You get a cookie, too. Howard: Thanks. Guess who picked up his new car this morning? Raj: Congratulations. Does it have that new car smell? Howard: Yep. For as long as I can keep my mother out of it. If you want to check it out later, it's parked right out front, space 294. Sheldon: I'm sorry, 294? Howard: Yeah. Sheldon: That's my parking spot. Raj: Why do you have a parking spot? You don't have a car. You don't even drive. Sheldon: It doesn't matter. That's my spot. Leonard: Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it. Sheldon: Well, I'm not using my nipples, either. Maybe they should reassign those. Howard: Sheldon, someday, if you get a car, I'm sure they'll give you another parking space. Sheldon: I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. It
SUMMARY:
Howard buys a new car from his space mission money and is assigned Sheldon's unused parking spot. Despite not owning a car or even knowing how to drive, Sheldon wants it back and begins a bitter feud with Howard. Sheldon takes Howard's Iron Man helmet and sits naked in his car; Howard takes Sheldon's framed diploma and sits naked on his spot, also using Sheldon's laptop to gloat. The feud eventually draws in their partners, Amy and Bernadette supporting Sheldon and Howard respectively. Amy helps Sheldon rename the parking spot and parks her car there; Bernadette scratches it and has it towed away. Penny is caught in the middle when Amy swings her heavy handbag at Bernadette (who ducks), accidentally breaking Penny's nose. Raj finally ends the feud by mediating an agreement that Howard keep the parking spot until Sheldon learns to drive or gets a Batmobile. Sheldon & Amy and Howard & Bernadette reconcile at The Cheesecake Factory, where a battered Penny retorts "Yeah, everybody's happy. Great!" Finally, Sheldon takes his cushion to the dry cleaner's, as a naked Howard sat on it during the feud; and also takes the opportunity to sell his laptop for the dry cleaner's son to use (since the laptop was on Howard's lap when he was on the couch).