TEXT: Act One. Scene One: The Frasier Crane Show. Frasier is at his console. Frasier: [on-air] Hello, Rachel. I'm listening. Rachel: [v.o.] Oh, thanks for taking my call, Dr. Crane. Um, I'm involved in sort of a strange love triangle. Frasier: [off-air, to Roz] Oh goody, this is sweeps week! [on-air] Rachel: You see, I recently married a widower. Now, Phil's a real good man, he's a kind man. But there's just one little problem. He insists on keeping an urn with his late wife's ashes on the dresser in our bedroom. Frasier: That is a definite "Yikes." Rachel: See, I knew that wasn't normal. He says it is, but I knew it wasn't! Frasier: All right, Rachel, Rachel, now listen. Before you go off half-cocked, let's try to remember this is a very sensitive issue for your husband. Obviously those ashes mean a very great deal to him. And although I don't believe it's appropriate that he keep them in the bedroom, I suppose you could maybe move them to another room? Rachel: Well, I guess I could try that. Maybe I'll move them into the guest room. [sound of crockery breaking] Oops. Frasier: Rachel, what happened? Rachel: Oh... oh, nothing. I gotta run, Dr. Crane. I've got some vacuuming to do. The line goes dead. Frasier: Well, as Rachel helps Phil's wife off the floor, we have reached the end of our second hour. Now, we'll be right back after the news, so please join me again, Frasier Crane and my invaluable producer... ah... [ohmygod, what's her name? It's, it's...] Roz: ROZ! Frasier: Roz! KACL Talk radio, 780 AM. He goes off the air, and goes into Roz's area. Frasier: Roz,
SUMMARY:
Worrying about impending middle age, Frasier strikes up a tentative romance with a shop assistant several years his junior.