TEXT: Dwight: [looking pregnant] Hey Michael? Michael: Yeah. Dwight: Contractions are coming every ten minutes. Michael: OK, just remember to keep breathing. Dwight: My cervix is ripening. Michael: OK, good. [SCENE_BREAK] Jim: [drawing two family trees on a whiteboard] Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through [draws a question mark] delusion. [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Michael! My water's breaking! Michael: Oh, OK! OK! Dwight: Aaaaaaaa! What do you do? What do you do? Michael: I get a call from Jan and I meet her at the hospital. Dwight: Right. Highways or surface roads? Michael: I take Quincy Ave to Gibson. Dwight: No, Gibson is covered in potholes. Your car breaks down. Adapt! Michael: I checked the route - there are no potholes. Come on, get in here and have the baby. Dwight: It's about adapting to the circumstances. Michael: [annoyed] Andy, would you like to have my baby? Andy: Yes! Yeah. [squatting and pushing] Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Aaaaaaaa! Dwight: No. OK, no. I'm crowning! I'm crowning! Aaaaaaaa! [runs into Michael's office] Michael: All right, OK. [to Andy] Sorry. Sorry. Here we go. Here we go! Dwight: The pressure! The pressure! Michael: Do it! Do it! Scream! Scream it out, scream it out, scream it out. Dwight: Aaaaaaaa! Michael: Aaaaaaaa! [SCENE_BREAK] Dwight: Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.
SUMMARY:
Michael practices for the birth of Jan 's baby by having Dwight go over possible birthing scenarios with a watermelon baby. When Jan arrives for the office baby shower, she has already had baby Astrid, excluding Michael from the process, and he feels disconnected from the baby. Meanwhile, Michael pretends to dislike Holly for Jan's benefit, but Jan senses their connection and asks Michael not to date Holly. Michael goes to Holly for comfort and they agree to date. The separation between Jim and Pam starts to take a toll on their relationship.