Hugging Face's logo

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KingZack
/
future-futurama-maker
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1 Parent(s): af81c05

adding data and code for training

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+ "_model_module_version": "1.5.0",
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+ }
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+ },
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+ "cells": [
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+ {
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+ "cell_type": "markdown",
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+ "source": [
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+ "# This notebook by Zack DeSario is a remix / combination of many sources as all good code is. \n",
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+ "The code is mainly from [@DigitalSreeni](https://youtu.be/DxygPxcfW_I). Their code cites the [huggingface official tutorial](https://huggingface.co/transformers/v2.2.0/pretrained_models.html).\n",
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+ "\n"
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+ ],
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+ "metadata": {
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+ "id": "1KNhbTK0POcG"
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+ }
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+ },
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+ {
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+ "cell_type": "code",
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+ "execution_count": null,
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+ "metadata": {
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+ "id": "rCd-oTGxXyc1"
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+ },
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+ "outputs": [],
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+ "source": [
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+ "!pip install transformers\n",
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+ "!pip install torch\n",
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+ "!pip install transformers[torch]"
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+ ]
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+ },
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+ {
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+ "cell_type": "code",
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+ "source": [
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+ "import os\n",
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+ "import re\n",
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+ "import torch\n",
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+ "from transformers import GPT2Tokenizer, GPT2LMHeadModel, TextDataset, DataCollatorForLanguageModeling\n",
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+ "from transformers import Trainer, TrainingArguments\n"
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+ ],
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+ "metadata": {
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+ "id": "JfqnHAnMYfWF"
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+ },
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+ "execution_count": 1,
1704
+ "outputs": []
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+ },
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+ {
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+ "cell_type": "code",
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+ "source": [
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+ "from huggingface_hub import notebook_login\n",
1710
+ "notebook_login()"
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+ ],
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+ "metadata": {
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+ "colab": {
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+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
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+ "height": 145,
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+ ]
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+ "id": "lDHMd4LtvWtt",
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+ "outputId": "f97d907b-de72-4f28-912a-bc6ec4d874b9"
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+ },
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+ "execution_count": 2,
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+ "outputs": [
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+ {
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+ "output_type": "display_data",
1758
+ "data": {
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+ "text/plain": [
1760
+ "VBox(children=(HTML(value='<center> <img\\nsrc=https://huggingface.co/front/assets/huggingface_logo-noborder.sv…"
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+ ],
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+ "application/vnd.jupyter.widget-view+json": {
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+ "version_major": 2,
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+ "version_minor": 0,
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+ "model_id": "3f624c76d7ba4d6b9e67878d3d827b71"
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+ }
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+ },
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+ "metadata": {}
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+ }
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+ ]
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+ },
1772
+ {
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+ "cell_type": "markdown",
1774
+ "source": [
1775
+ "Required functions to read text from various files located in a directory. Files can be a mix of pdf, docx, or txt."
1776
+ ],
1777
+ "metadata": {
1778
+ "id": "a_Bn7925nhYk"
1779
+ }
1780
+ },
1781
+ {
1782
+ "cell_type": "code",
1783
+ "source": [
1784
+ "### THIS CODE IS 100% WRITTEN BY THE FIRST SOURCE. VERY HELPFUL FUNCTIONS, TY.\n",
1785
+ "# Functions to read different file types\n",
1786
+ "def read_txt(file_path):\n",
1787
+ " with open(file_path, \"r\") as file:\n",
1788
+ " text = file.read()\n",
1789
+ " return text\n",
1790
+ "\n",
1791
+ "def read_documents_from_directory(directory):\n",
1792
+ " combined_text = \"\"\n",
1793
+ " for filename in os.listdir(directory):\n",
1794
+ " file_path = os.path.join(directory, filename)\n",
1795
+ " if filename.endswith(\".pdf\"):\n",
1796
+ " combined_text += read_pdf(file_path)\n",
1797
+ " elif filename.endswith(\".docx\"):\n",
1798
+ " combined_text += read_word(file_path)\n",
1799
+ " elif filename.endswith(\".txt\"):\n",
1800
+ " combined_text += read_txt(file_path)\n",
1801
+ " return combined_text\n",
1802
+ "\n",
1803
+ "\n",
1804
+ "# ANOTHER HELPER FUNCTION\n",
1805
+ "def generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=100):\n",
1806
+ " input_ids = tokenizer.encode(prompt, return_tensors=\"pt\")\n",
1807
+ "\n",
1808
+ " # Create the attention mask and pad token id\n",
1809
+ " attention_mask = torch.ones_like(input_ids)\n",
1810
+ " pad_token_id = tokenizer.eos_token_id\n",
1811
+ "\n",
1812
+ " output = model.generate(\n",
1813
+ " input_ids,\n",
1814
+ " max_length=max_length,\n",
1815
+ " num_return_sequences=1,\n",
1816
+ " attention_mask=attention_mask,\n",
1817
+ " pad_token_id=pad_token_id\n",
1818
+ " )\n",
1819
+ "\n",
1820
+ " return tokenizer.decode(output[0], skip_special_tokens=True)\n"
1821
+ ],
1822
+ "metadata": {
1823
+ "id": "kjhi8kpfYdlV"
1824
+ },
1825
+ "execution_count": 3,
1826
+ "outputs": []
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+ },
1828
+ {
1829
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
1830
+ "source": [
1831
+ "## Now load the base model and test it to see if it already does what we need to do or not...."
1832
+ ],
1833
+ "metadata": {
1834
+ "id": "0taX8M-Hahag"
1835
+ }
1836
+ },
1837
+ {
1838
+ "cell_type": "code",
1839
+ "source": [
1840
+ "# Set up the tokenizer and model\n",
1841
+ "tokenizer = GPT2Tokenizer.from_pretrained(\"gpt2-medium\") #also try gpt2, gpt2-large and gpt2-medium, also gpt2-xl\n",
1842
+ "model = GPT2LMHeadModel.from_pretrained(\"gpt2-medium\") #also try gpt2, gpt2-large and gpt2-medium, also gpt2-xl"
1843
+ ],
1844
+ "metadata": {
1845
+ "id": "GvF4s_utafu8"
1846
+ },
1847
+ "execution_count": 4,
1848
+ "outputs": []
1849
+ },
1850
+ {
1851
+ "cell_type": "code",
1852
+ "source": [
1853
+ "prompt = 'Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.'\n",
1854
+ "response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=200)\n",
1855
+ "print(response)"
1856
+ ],
1857
+ "metadata": {
1858
+ "colab": {
1859
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
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+ "height": 0
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+ },
1862
+ "id": "W3HMD6f5axJp",
1863
+ "outputId": "bc32c758-a1f6-4ff2-a41b-ae11f28f1522"
1864
+ },
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+ "execution_count": 5,
1866
+ "outputs": [
1867
+ {
1868
+ "output_type": "stream",
1869
+ "name": "stdout",
1870
+ "text": [
1871
+ "Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.\n",
1872
+ "\n",
1873
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1874
+ "\n",
1875
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1876
+ "\n",
1877
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1878
+ "\n",
1879
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1880
+ "\n",
1881
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1882
+ "\n",
1883
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1884
+ "\n",
1885
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1886
+ "\n",
1887
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1888
+ "\n",
1889
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1890
+ "\n",
1891
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1892
+ "\n",
1893
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1894
+ "\n",
1895
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1896
+ "\n",
1897
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1898
+ "\n",
1899
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1900
+ "\n",
1901
+ "Fry: I'm stuck in a hole.\n",
1902
+ "\n",
1903
+ "\n"
1904
+ ]
1905
+ }
1906
+ ]
1907
+ },
1908
+ {
1909
+ "cell_type": "code",
1910
+ "source": [
1911
+ "prompt = 'Who is Fry TV show Futurama? Describe them in detail.'\n",
1912
+ "response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=200)\n",
1913
+ "print(response)"
1914
+ ],
1915
+ "metadata": {
1916
+ "colab": {
1917
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
1918
+ "height": 0
1919
+ },
1920
+ "id": "fS0n27aUbTj6",
1921
+ "outputId": "539f6a58-504c-4553-c531-cc25689dc560"
1922
+ },
1923
+ "execution_count": 16,
1924
+ "outputs": [
1925
+ {
1926
+ "output_type": "stream",
1927
+ "name": "stdout",
1928
+ "text": [
1929
+ "Who is Fry TV show Futurama? Describe them in detail.\n",
1930
+ "\n",
1931
+ "Futurama is a comedy show that is based on the comic strip \"Futurama\" by David Lynch. It is a parody of the popular television series \"Futurama\" and is produced by Fox Television Studios. The show is produced by Fox Television Studios and is produced by Fox Television Studios, a division of 21st Century Fox.\n",
1932
+ "\n",
1933
+ "Futurama is a comedy show that is based on the comic strip \"Futurama\" by David Lynch. It is a parody of the popular television series \"Futurama\" and is produced by Fox Television Studios. The show is produced by Fox Television Studios and is produced by Fox Television Studios, a division of 21st Century Fox. What is the name of the show?\n",
1934
+ "\n",
1935
+ "Futurama is a comedy show that is based on the comic strip \"Futurama\" by David Lynch. It\n"
1936
+ ]
1937
+ }
1938
+ ]
1939
+ },
1940
+ {
1941
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
1942
+ "source": [
1943
+ "# Mmkay, it clearly does not know who Fry is or how to write a TV Script.\n",
1944
+ "\n",
1945
+ "### Lets train it to learn how to write a TV script for Futurama. \n"
1946
+ ],
1947
+ "metadata": {
1948
+ "id": "mgjYQNw0b2bR"
1949
+ }
1950
+ },
1951
+ {
1952
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
1953
+ "source": [
1954
+ "## Adding your data\n",
1955
+ "1. Open the side panel, click on the folder icon, create a new folder called `my_data`, and drag and drop your data into that side panel. I will demonstrate during class.\n",
1956
+ "\n",
1957
+ "2. Also, create a new folder called `my_trained_model`. That is where we will temporarily store our trained model."
1958
+ ],
1959
+ "metadata": {
1960
+ "id": "zmShuef1SFfp"
1961
+ }
1962
+ },
1963
+ {
1964
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
1965
+ "source": [
1966
+ "Load your data\n",
1967
+ "* You can download the data I used here: UPLOAD LINK SOON."
1968
+ ],
1969
+ "metadata": {
1970
+ "id": "0d1KYFiJSY5F"
1971
+ }
1972
+ },
1973
+ {
1974
+ "cell_type": "code",
1975
+ "source": [
1976
+ "directory = \"/content/my_data/\" # Replace with the path to your directory containing the files\n",
1977
+ "model_output_path = \"/content/my_trained_models/\"\n",
1978
+ "train_fraction=0.8\n",
1979
+ "# Read documents from the directory\n",
1980
+ "combined_text = read_documents_from_directory(directory)\n",
1981
+ "combined_text = re.sub(r'\\n+', '\\n', combined_text).strip() # Remove excess newline characters\n",
1982
+ "\n",
1983
+ "# Split the text into training and validation sets\n",
1984
+ "split_index = int(train_fraction * len(combined_text))\n",
1985
+ "train_text = combined_text[:split_index]\n",
1986
+ "val_text = combined_text[split_index:]\n",
1987
+ "\n",
1988
+ "# Save the training and validation data as text files\n",
1989
+ "with open(\"train.txt\", \"w\") as f:\n",
1990
+ " f.write(train_text)\n",
1991
+ "with open(\"val.txt\", \"w\") as f:\n",
1992
+ " f.write(val_text)\n"
1993
+ ],
1994
+ "metadata": {
1995
+ "id": "eplbxsLRZBNL"
1996
+ },
1997
+ "execution_count": 6,
1998
+ "outputs": []
1999
+ },
2000
+ {
2001
+ "cell_type": "code",
2002
+ "source": [
2003
+ "len(train_text)\n",
2004
+ "print(train_text[:1000])"
2005
+ ],
2006
+ "metadata": {
2007
+ "colab": {
2008
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2009
+ "height": 0
2010
+ },
2011
+ "id": "1Z5I2gfVS-v3",
2012
+ "outputId": "dd2bc30f-399b-40af-f6d5-858bb196bcd9"
2013
+ },
2014
+ "execution_count": 10,
2015
+ "outputs": [
2016
+ {
2017
+ "output_type": "stream",
2018
+ "name": "stdout",
2019
+ "text": [
2020
+ "FUTURAMA\n",
2021
+ " Episode 108 \n",
2022
+ " \"A BIG PIECE OF GARBAGE\"\n",
2023
+ " By\n",
2024
+ " Lewis Morton\n",
2025
+ " Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet\n",
2026
+ " \n",
2027
+ " [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat around the table.]\n",
2028
+ " \n",
2029
+ " \n",
2030
+ " \n",
2031
+ " FARNSWORTH\n",
2032
+ " Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll \n",
2033
+ " be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the \n",
2034
+ " virus planet.\n",
2035
+ " \n",
2036
+ " \n",
2037
+ " HERMES\n",
2038
+ " Why can't they go today?\n",
2039
+ " \n",
2040
+ " FARNSWORTH\n",
2041
+ " Because tonight's a special night and \n",
2042
+ " I want all of you to be alive. It's \n",
2043
+ " the Academy of Inventors annual symposium.\n",
2044
+ " \n",
2045
+ " \n"
2046
+ ]
2047
+ }
2048
+ ]
2049
+ },
2050
+ {
2051
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
2052
+ "source": [
2053
+ "The train_chatbot function uses the combined text data to train a GPT-2 model using the provided training arguments. The resulting trained model and tokenizer are then saved to a specified output directory."
2054
+ ],
2055
+ "metadata": {
2056
+ "id": "D1LqRO_Unfmk"
2057
+ }
2058
+ },
2059
+ {
2060
+ "cell_type": "code",
2061
+ "source": [
2062
+ "\n",
2063
+ "# Prepare the dataset\n",
2064
+ "train_dataset = TextDataset(tokenizer=tokenizer, file_path=\"train.txt\", block_size=128)\n",
2065
+ "val_dataset = TextDataset(tokenizer=tokenizer, file_path=\"val.txt\", block_size=128)\n",
2066
+ "data_collator = DataCollatorForLanguageModeling(tokenizer=tokenizer, mlm=False)\n",
2067
+ "\n",
2068
+ "# Set up the training arguments\n",
2069
+ "training_args = TrainingArguments(\n",
2070
+ " output_dir=model_output_path,\n",
2071
+ " overwrite_output_dir=True,\n",
2072
+ " per_device_train_batch_size=4,\n",
2073
+ " per_device_eval_batch_size=4,\n",
2074
+ " num_train_epochs=33,\n",
2075
+ " save_steps=10_000,\n",
2076
+ " save_total_limit=2,\n",
2077
+ " logging_dir='./logs',\n",
2078
+ ")\n",
2079
+ "\n",
2080
+ "# Train the model\n",
2081
+ "trainer = Trainer(\n",
2082
+ " model=model,\n",
2083
+ " args=training_args,\n",
2084
+ " data_collator=data_collator,\n",
2085
+ " train_dataset=train_dataset,\n",
2086
+ " eval_dataset=val_dataset,\n",
2087
+ ")\n"
2088
+ ],
2089
+ "metadata": {
2090
+ "colab": {
2091
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2092
+ "height": 0
2093
+ },
2094
+ "id": "c4SK8O2lQmTS",
2095
+ "outputId": "1ea521cd-61e7-4558-9f76-4cf215cfa74d"
2096
+ },
2097
+ "execution_count": 7,
2098
+ "outputs": [
2099
+ {
2100
+ "output_type": "stream",
2101
+ "name": "stderr",
2102
+ "text": [
2103
+ "/usr/local/lib/python3.10/dist-packages/transformers/data/datasets/language_modeling.py:53: FutureWarning: This dataset will be removed from the library soon, preprocessing should be handled with the 🤗 Datasets library. You can have a look at this example script for pointers: https://github.com/huggingface/transformers/blob/main/examples/pytorch/language-modeling/run_mlm.py\n",
2104
+ " warnings.warn(\n"
2105
+ ]
2106
+ }
2107
+ ]
2108
+ },
2109
+ {
2110
+ "cell_type": "code",
2111
+ "source": [
2112
+ "## THIS TAKES 30 MINS FOR JUST 10 EPOCHS SO I AM NOT GOING TO DUE THAT DURING CLASS....\n",
2113
+ "## AND ~2HRS FOR 33 EPOCHS\n",
2114
+ "trainer.train()"
2115
+ ],
2116
+ "metadata": {
2117
+ "colab": {
2118
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2119
+ "height": 911
2120
+ },
2121
+ "id": "4uLxbXDgTRBZ",
2122
+ "outputId": "36a09738-5a8c-4f4a-f54e-4dda29f0a0d3"
2123
+ },
2124
+ "execution_count": 8,
2125
+ "outputs": [
2126
+ {
2127
+ "output_type": "display_data",
2128
+ "data": {
2129
+ "text/plain": [
2130
+ "<IPython.core.display.HTML object>"
2131
+ ],
2132
+ "text/html": [
2133
+ "\n",
2134
+ " <div>\n",
2135
+ " \n",
2136
+ " <progress value='12936' max='12936' style='width:300px; height:20px; vertical-align: middle;'></progress>\n",
2137
+ " [12936/12936 1:44:45, Epoch 33/33]\n",
2138
+ " </div>\n",
2139
+ " <table border=\"1\" class=\"dataframe\">\n",
2140
+ " <thead>\n",
2141
+ " <tr style=\"text-align: left;\">\n",
2142
+ " <th>Step</th>\n",
2143
+ " <th>Training Loss</th>\n",
2144
+ " </tr>\n",
2145
+ " </thead>\n",
2146
+ " <tbody>\n",
2147
+ " <tr>\n",
2148
+ " <td>500</td>\n",
2149
+ " <td>0.723700</td>\n",
2150
+ " </tr>\n",
2151
+ " <tr>\n",
2152
+ " <td>1000</td>\n",
2153
+ " <td>0.506900</td>\n",
2154
+ " </tr>\n",
2155
+ " <tr>\n",
2156
+ " <td>1500</td>\n",
2157
+ " <td>0.382800</td>\n",
2158
+ " </tr>\n",
2159
+ " <tr>\n",
2160
+ " <td>2000</td>\n",
2161
+ " <td>0.288800</td>\n",
2162
+ " </tr>\n",
2163
+ " <tr>\n",
2164
+ " <td>2500</td>\n",
2165
+ " <td>0.229000</td>\n",
2166
+ " </tr>\n",
2167
+ " <tr>\n",
2168
+ " <td>3000</td>\n",
2169
+ " <td>0.199800</td>\n",
2170
+ " </tr>\n",
2171
+ " <tr>\n",
2172
+ " <td>3500</td>\n",
2173
+ " <td>0.176500</td>\n",
2174
+ " </tr>\n",
2175
+ " <tr>\n",
2176
+ " <td>4000</td>\n",
2177
+ " <td>0.158800</td>\n",
2178
+ " </tr>\n",
2179
+ " <tr>\n",
2180
+ " <td>4500</td>\n",
2181
+ " <td>0.147800</td>\n",
2182
+ " </tr>\n",
2183
+ " <tr>\n",
2184
+ " <td>5000</td>\n",
2185
+ " <td>0.137900</td>\n",
2186
+ " </tr>\n",
2187
+ " <tr>\n",
2188
+ " <td>5500</td>\n",
2189
+ " <td>0.131300</td>\n",
2190
+ " </tr>\n",
2191
+ " <tr>\n",
2192
+ " <td>6000</td>\n",
2193
+ " <td>0.122500</td>\n",
2194
+ " </tr>\n",
2195
+ " <tr>\n",
2196
+ " <td>6500</td>\n",
2197
+ " <td>0.119100</td>\n",
2198
+ " </tr>\n",
2199
+ " <tr>\n",
2200
+ " <td>7000</td>\n",
2201
+ " <td>0.115000</td>\n",
2202
+ " </tr>\n",
2203
+ " <tr>\n",
2204
+ " <td>7500</td>\n",
2205
+ " <td>0.109800</td>\n",
2206
+ " </tr>\n",
2207
+ " <tr>\n",
2208
+ " <td>8000</td>\n",
2209
+ " <td>0.104800</td>\n",
2210
+ " </tr>\n",
2211
+ " <tr>\n",
2212
+ " <td>8500</td>\n",
2213
+ " <td>0.102600</td>\n",
2214
+ " </tr>\n",
2215
+ " <tr>\n",
2216
+ " <td>9000</td>\n",
2217
+ " <td>0.099100</td>\n",
2218
+ " </tr>\n",
2219
+ " <tr>\n",
2220
+ " <td>9500</td>\n",
2221
+ " <td>0.095800</td>\n",
2222
+ " </tr>\n",
2223
+ " <tr>\n",
2224
+ " <td>10000</td>\n",
2225
+ " <td>0.093900</td>\n",
2226
+ " </tr>\n",
2227
+ " <tr>\n",
2228
+ " <td>10500</td>\n",
2229
+ " <td>0.090900</td>\n",
2230
+ " </tr>\n",
2231
+ " <tr>\n",
2232
+ " <td>11000</td>\n",
2233
+ " <td>0.086600</td>\n",
2234
+ " </tr>\n",
2235
+ " <tr>\n",
2236
+ " <td>11500</td>\n",
2237
+ " <td>0.083600</td>\n",
2238
+ " </tr>\n",
2239
+ " <tr>\n",
2240
+ " <td>12000</td>\n",
2241
+ " <td>0.082800</td>\n",
2242
+ " </tr>\n",
2243
+ " <tr>\n",
2244
+ " <td>12500</td>\n",
2245
+ " <td>0.079400</td>\n",
2246
+ " </tr>\n",
2247
+ " </tbody>\n",
2248
+ "</table><p>"
2249
+ ]
2250
+ },
2251
+ "metadata": {}
2252
+ },
2253
+ {
2254
+ "output_type": "execute_result",
2255
+ "data": {
2256
+ "text/plain": [
2257
+ "TrainOutput(global_step=12936, training_loss=0.1753516689670919, metrics={'train_runtime': 6288.4681, 'train_samples_per_second': 8.218, 'train_steps_per_second': 2.057, 'total_flos': 1.1998348622954496e+16, 'train_loss': 0.1753516689670919, 'epoch': 33.0})"
2258
+ ]
2259
+ },
2260
+ "metadata": {},
2261
+ "execution_count": 8
2262
+ }
2263
+ ]
2264
+ },
2265
+ {
2266
+ "cell_type": "code",
2267
+ "source": [
2268
+ "# Save the model\n",
2269
+ "trainer.save_model(model_output_path)\n",
2270
+ "\n",
2271
+ "# Save the tokenizer\n",
2272
+ "tokenizer.save_pretrained(model_output_path)\n"
2273
+ ],
2274
+ "metadata": {
2275
+ "colab": {
2276
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2277
+ "height": 0
2278
+ },
2279
+ "id": "pEl7PMupTVWs",
2280
+ "outputId": "46cbdbe8-7c4a-47d3-c9fc-4e6eb92ff19d"
2281
+ },
2282
+ "execution_count": 9,
2283
+ "outputs": [
2284
+ {
2285
+ "output_type": "execute_result",
2286
+ "data": {
2287
+ "text/plain": [
2288
+ "('/content/my_trained_models/tokenizer_config.json',\n",
2289
+ " '/content/my_trained_models/special_tokens_map.json',\n",
2290
+ " '/content/my_trained_models/vocab.json',\n",
2291
+ " '/content/my_trained_models/merges.txt',\n",
2292
+ " '/content/my_trained_models/added_tokens.json')"
2293
+ ]
2294
+ },
2295
+ "metadata": {},
2296
+ "execution_count": 9
2297
+ }
2298
+ ]
2299
+ },
2300
+ {
2301
+ "cell_type": "code",
2302
+ "source": [
2303
+ "print(\"SAVED MODELS LOCALLY YO!!!!!!\")"
2304
+ ],
2305
+ "metadata": {
2306
+ "colab": {
2307
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2308
+ "height": 0
2309
+ },
2310
+ "id": "aI1-vpJDc7Sx",
2311
+ "outputId": "4d319aec-cc02-4be7-d356-08e43f13869a"
2312
+ },
2313
+ "execution_count": 10,
2314
+ "outputs": [
2315
+ {
2316
+ "output_type": "stream",
2317
+ "name": "stdout",
2318
+ "text": [
2319
+ "SAVED MODELS LOCALLY YO!!!!!!\n"
2320
+ ]
2321
+ }
2322
+ ]
2323
+ },
2324
+ {
2325
+ "cell_type": "code",
2326
+ "source": [
2327
+ "directory = \"/content/my_data/\" # Replace with the path to your directory containing the files\n",
2328
+ "model_output_path = \"/content/my_trained_models/\"\n",
2329
+ "\n",
2330
+ "model = GPT2LMHeadModel.from_pretrained(model_output_path)\n",
2331
+ "tokenizer = GPT2Tokenizer.from_pretrained(model_output_path)\n"
2332
+ ],
2333
+ "metadata": {
2334
+ "id": "r09pTefOgGPt"
2335
+ },
2336
+ "execution_count": 11,
2337
+ "outputs": []
2338
+ },
2339
+ {
2340
+ "cell_type": "code",
2341
+ "source": [
2342
+ "\n",
2343
+ "# Test the chatbot\n",
2344
+ "prompt = \"Write a TV show script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.\" # Replace with your desired prompt\n",
2345
+ "# prompt = \"What is bulk metallic glass?\" # Replace with your desired prompt\n",
2346
+ "\n",
2347
+ "response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=1000)\n",
2348
+ "print(\"Generated response:\", response)"
2349
+ ],
2350
+ "metadata": {
2351
+ "colab": {
2352
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2353
+ "height": 0
2354
+ },
2355
+ "id": "ybZWymmrlTSk",
2356
+ "outputId": "04b23e45-775e-4c92-ff65-4042a6d72a76"
2357
+ },
2358
+ "execution_count": 14,
2359
+ "outputs": [
2360
+ {
2361
+ "output_type": "stream",
2362
+ "name": "stdout",
2363
+ "text": [
2364
+ "Generated response: Write a TV show script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.\n",
2365
+ " \n",
2366
+ " \n",
2367
+ " \n",
2368
+ " FRY\n",
2369
+ " Yeah, that'd be a timesaver.\n",
2370
+ " \n",
2371
+ " [Cut to: Planet Express: Fry's Bedroom. The crew are asleep.]\n",
2372
+ " \n",
2373
+ " BENDER\n",
2374
+ " Hey, you don't wanna hear about that \n",
2375
+ " trouble with the TV!\n",
2376
+ " \n",
2377
+ " \n",
2378
+ " BENDER\n",
2379
+ " Let's just say it'll put a smile on your \n",
2380
+ " face.\n",
2381
+ " \n",
2382
+ " BENDER\n",
2383
+ " OK, OK, keep your space pants on. I'll \n",
2384
+ " take care of this.\n",
2385
+ " \n",
2386
+ " \n",
2387
+ " [Cut to: Planet Express: Fry's Bedroom. The crew are asleep.]\n",
2388
+ " \n",
2389
+ " BENDER\n",
2390
+ " Alright, OK, I'll be in the escape pod. Hold on to \n",
2391
+ " your helmet.\n",
2392
+ " \n",
2393
+ " [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The ship lands.]\n",
2394
+ " \n",
2395
+ " [Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. The crew are sat around the table.]\n",
2396
+ " \n",
2397
+ " BENDER\n",
2398
+ " I know it's boring out there, but I need some \n",
2399
+ " to get away.\n",
2400
+ " \n",
2401
+ " \n",
2402
+ " BENDER\n",
2403
+ " I don't know about any of your previous \n",
2404
+ " previous captains,\n"
2405
+ ]
2406
+ }
2407
+ ]
2408
+ },
2409
+ {
2410
+ "cell_type": "code",
2411
+ "source": [
2412
+ "## PUSH THE MODELS TO YOUR HUGGING-FACE.\n",
2413
+ "\n",
2414
+ "model.push_to_hub(repo_id='KingZack/future-futurama-maker')\n",
2415
+ "tokenizer.push_to_hub('KingZack/future-futurama-maker')\n",
2416
+ "\n",
2417
+ "\n"
2418
+ ],
2419
+ "metadata": {
2420
+ "colab": {
2421
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2422
+ "height": 101,
2423
+ "referenced_widgets": [
2424
+ "a3fbdd7d222943ddaf9bda9ad5bfa5f6",
2425
+ "0799c57bce7d4acdad5bf69c798e422f",
2426
+ "ce81a63e33c041c9a655cebef323ba36",
2427
+ "66ed2d3283c548ed867d816b45254e6a",
2428
+ "2d16cc7b4780420fa17d6f0e2bfdb370",
2429
+ "c358e4bd56504e65b16badf84ef0a0a0",
2430
+ "d05eea349cbd45fe88f284ca44992d5e",
2431
+ "41482fa94f7f41f893522daeff85c0ba",
2432
+ "3be5cf688ba84b21be6f04fd14d541d5",
2433
+ "d91574f400e34ed6b4cd239d9d8f337d",
2434
+ "fa327cb7eb9748bd90556ae760171fab"
2435
+ ]
2436
+ },
2437
+ "id": "q1hw5WG6wIva",
2438
+ "outputId": "6d50cd27-7fc8-42eb-a2dc-92c8bc424006"
2439
+ },
2440
+ "execution_count": 15,
2441
+ "outputs": [
2442
+ {
2443
+ "output_type": "display_data",
2444
+ "data": {
2445
+ "text/plain": [
2446
+ "model.safetensors: 0%| | 0.00/1.42G [00:00<?, ?B/s]"
2447
+ ],
2448
+ "application/vnd.jupyter.widget-view+json": {
2449
+ "version_major": 2,
2450
+ "version_minor": 0,
2451
+ "model_id": "a3fbdd7d222943ddaf9bda9ad5bfa5f6"
2452
+ }
2453
+ },
2454
+ "metadata": {}
2455
+ },
2456
+ {
2457
+ "output_type": "execute_result",
2458
+ "data": {
2459
+ "text/plain": [
2460
+ "CommitInfo(commit_url='https://huggingface.co/KingZack/future-futurama-maker/commit/4f79dd3471035e7a73e4c8a509d1377f085f5dd4', commit_message='Upload tokenizer', commit_description='', oid='4f79dd3471035e7a73e4c8a509d1377f085f5dd4', pr_url=None, pr_revision=None, pr_num=None)"
2461
+ ]
2462
+ },
2463
+ "metadata": {},
2464
+ "execution_count": 15
2465
+ }
2466
+ ]
2467
+ },
2468
+ {
2469
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
2470
+ "source": [
2471
+ "### check out the model you made in the offical hub. \n",
2472
+ "--> https://huggingface.co/KingZack/future-futurama-maker"
2473
+ ],
2474
+ "metadata": {
2475
+ "id": "e1KdL1mCdGb7"
2476
+ }
2477
+ },
2478
+ {
2479
+ "cell_type": "markdown",
2480
+ "source": [
2481
+ "## Now load it from the hub and test it out."
2482
+ ],
2483
+ "metadata": {
2484
+ "id": "HgNTL4RPdQl2"
2485
+ }
2486
+ },
2487
+ {
2488
+ "cell_type": "code",
2489
+ "source": [
2490
+ "# Use a pipeline as a high-level helper\n",
2491
+ "# from transformers import pipeline\n",
2492
+ "\n",
2493
+ "# pipe = pipeline(\"text-generation\", model=\"KingZack/future-futurama-maker\")\n",
2494
+ "\n",
2495
+ "\n",
2496
+ "# Load model directly\n",
2497
+ "from transformers import AutoTokenizer, AutoModelForCausalLM\n",
2498
+ "\n",
2499
+ "tokenizer = AutoTokenizer.from_pretrained(\"KingZack/future-futurama-maker\")\n",
2500
+ "model = AutoModelForCausalLM.from_pretrained(\"KingZack/future-futurama-maker\")"
2501
+ ],
2502
+ "metadata": {
2503
+ "colab": {
2504
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2505
+ "height": 49,
2506
+ "referenced_widgets": [
2507
+ "aeeab280f5d94b7c8ec2db3c024021d3",
2508
+ "5bbeb3d24696483cb0a8b77c80f58331",
2509
+ "10cb93cc9dd04376ada62211af66169b",
2510
+ "3368dfedbfd94ab0ad52ce7eda66bf65",
2511
+ "a8611a77aa424b3189a9674a2f100f57",
2512
+ "0281d96fb3024ca6a9feac614e88ce55",
2513
+ "30a8422696c24b999ac3ef15dcc9a44c",
2514
+ "8aa2fbe219ea4b2c9a48ebffb8ff8ac6",
2515
+ "602879da2fd54b9c8d3eeab5a9267658",
2516
+ "922382efa15a4286b5364189589209df",
2517
+ "03a3cb72a56f4755af54d8057e8e5c0c"
2518
+ ]
2519
+ },
2520
+ "id": "4ZnsKeu-78As",
2521
+ "outputId": "8437c13a-dcc3-462b-c9bb-2ef6cf4feba0"
2522
+ },
2523
+ "execution_count": 16,
2524
+ "outputs": [
2525
+ {
2526
+ "output_type": "display_data",
2527
+ "data": {
2528
+ "text/plain": [
2529
+ "Downloading model.safetensors: 0%| | 0.00/1.42G [00:00<?, ?B/s]"
2530
+ ],
2531
+ "application/vnd.jupyter.widget-view+json": {
2532
+ "version_major": 2,
2533
+ "version_minor": 0,
2534
+ "model_id": "aeeab280f5d94b7c8ec2db3c024021d3"
2535
+ }
2536
+ },
2537
+ "metadata": {}
2538
+ }
2539
+ ]
2540
+ },
2541
+ {
2542
+ "cell_type": "code",
2543
+ "source": [
2544
+ "# Test the chatbot\n",
2545
+ "prompt = 'Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.'\n",
2546
+ "\n",
2547
+ "response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=1000)\n",
2548
+ "print(\"Generated response:\", response)"
2549
+ ],
2550
+ "metadata": {
2551
+ "colab": {
2552
+ "base_uri": "https://localhost:8080/",
2553
+ "height": 0
2554
+ },
2555
+ "id": "z6i7TsCYmZc8",
2556
+ "outputId": "34b0856a-c473-4732-b61d-2108331ebd0a"
2557
+ },
2558
+ "execution_count": 17,
2559
+ "outputs": [
2560
+ {
2561
+ "output_type": "stream",
2562
+ "name": "stdout",
2563
+ "text": [
2564
+ "Generated response: Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.\n",
2565
+ " \n",
2566
+ " \n",
2567
+ " \n",
2568
+ " FRY\n",
2569
+ " Maybe I should take Fry on the Luna \n",
2570
+ " Rover ride. You get to wear a space \n",
2571
+ " suit and drive around on the surface. \n",
2572
+ " \n",
2573
+ " \n",
2574
+ " [The ride takes Fry and Bender by rocket ship. They open the door \n",
2575
+ " and look around.]\n",
2576
+ " \n",
2577
+ " \n",
2578
+ " LEELA\n",
2579
+ " OK, guys, let's get to work! I'll be \n",
2580
+ " \n",
2581
+ " out in a second.\n",
2582
+ " \n",
2583
+ " \n",
2584
+ " [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]\n",
2585
+ " \n",
2586
+ " \n",
2587
+ " FARNSWORTH\n",
2588
+ " \n",
2589
+ " OK, guys, let's get to work! I'll be \n",
2590
+ " out in a second.\n",
2591
+ " \n",
2592
+ " [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]\n",
2593
+ " \n",
2594
+ " FARNSWORTH\n",
2595
+ " OK, guys, let's get to work! I'll be \n",
2596
+ " out in a second. Hurry, before we freeze!\n",
2597
+ " \n",
2598
+ " \n",
2599
+ " [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]\n",
2600
+ " \n",
2601
+ " [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]\n",
2602
+ " \n",
2603
+ " [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]\n",
2604
+ " \n",
2605
+ " FARNSWORTH\n",
2606
+ " I'm sure it'll work!\n",
2607
+ " \n",
2608
+ " \n"
2609
+ ]
2610
+ }
2611
+ ]
2612
+ },
2613
+ {
2614
+ "cell_type": "code",
2615
+ "source": [],
2616
+ "metadata": {
2617
+ "id": "LQyHvOb-etJm"
2618
+ },
2619
+ "execution_count": null,
2620
+ "outputs": []
2621
+ }
2622
+ ]
2623
+ }
README.md CHANGED
@@ -11,3 +11,11 @@ license: apache-2.0
11
  ---
12
 
13
  Check out the configuration reference at https://huggingface.co/docs/hub/spaces-config-reference
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
11
  ---
12
 
13
  Check out the configuration reference at https://huggingface.co/docs/hub/spaces-config-reference
14
+
15
+
16
+ ### How to build upon this
17
+
18
+ I built the model on google colab. [Here is the code that I used to pretrain the model](https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1PlLmPZ7NMPjZFz7xisoypLSHIjE2s7Qm#scrollTo=LQyHvOb-etJm).
19
+
20
+ However, the colab wont save the data I used to train it, so it is in this repo under `/content/my_data`. I downloaded the Futurama transcripts from https://imsdb.com/TV/Futurama.html.
21
+
content/my_data/.DS_Store ADDED
Binary file (6.15 kB). View file
 
content/my_data/s1e2.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1695 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ FUTURAMA
2
+
3
+ Episode 102
4
+
5
+ "THE SERIES HAS LANDED"
6
+
7
+ By
8
+
9
+ Ken Keeler
10
+
11
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
12
+
13
+
14
+
15
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry, Bender and Leela sit around
16
+ a big green table facing a big screen which Farnsworth stands
17
+ in front of.]
18
+
19
+
20
+ FARNSWORTH
21
+ As new employees I'd like your opinion
22
+ on our commercial. I paid to have it
23
+ air during the Superbowl.
24
+
25
+
26
+ FRY
27
+ Wow!
28
+
29
+
30
+ FARNSWORTH
31
+ Not on the same channel, of course.
32
+
33
+
34
+
35
+ [He puts a tiny video into the VCR and the commercial appears
36
+ on the screen. A man is sat in his office and a huge green horrible
37
+ gelatinous blob with three eyes is in front of him.]
38
+
39
+
40
+ ANNOUNCER
41
+ Interplanetary deliveries - what a
42
+ headache!
43
+
44
+
45
+
46
+ MAN
47
+ Uh... (shouting) I'm not Evans!
48
+
49
+
50
+ [Horrible Gelatinous Blob turns to the camera.]
51
+
52
+
53
+
54
+ ANNOUNCER
55
+ When those other companies aren't brave
56
+ or foolhardy enough to go, trust Planet
57
+ Express for reliable, on time delivery.
58
+
59
+
60
+
61
+ [As the announcer speaks the Planet Express ship streaks across
62
+ the screen being chased by spaceships shooting lasers at it.
63
+ A man runs across an ice world with a parcel while at the same
64
+ time being bombed. He delivers the parcel and is snatched by
65
+ a gigantic vulture. Back in the office Evans lifts up a parcel.]
66
+
67
+
68
+
69
+ EVANS
70
+ Here's your package, Mr. Horrible Gelatinous
71
+ Blob.
72
+
73
+
74
+
75
+ [He eats Evans anyway.]
76
+
77
+
78
+ EVANS
79
+ Thank you, sir!
80
+
81
+
82
+ [The Planet Express logo - a simplified picture of the ship flying
83
+ across a white circle with "Planet Express" written around it
84
+ - appears on the screen.]
85
+
86
+
87
+ ANNOUNCER
88
+ Planet Express: Our crew is replaceable.
89
+ Your package isn't.
90
+
91
+
92
+ [The bird is still carrying the man and squawks. The commercial
93
+ ends.]
94
+
95
+
96
+ FRY
97
+ Are there really giant birds like that?
98
+
99
+
100
+
101
+ FARNSWORTH
102
+ No, no! That was all just special effects!
103
+ Now let's have breakfast. I hope everyone
104
+ likes eggs.
105
+
106
+
107
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Kitchen. Farnsworth opens a box of eggs.
108
+ They are giant bird eggs. One hatches and the bird inside tries
109
+ to eat him. He hits it with a frying pan.]
110
+
111
+
112
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: In Hypno-Vision.]
113
+
114
+
115
+ [Outside Planet Express. A Jamaican man with dreads crosses the
116
+ street. He is wearing a green suit and glasses. He unlocks the
117
+ door and turns the open sign around from "Sorry, We're Closed"
118
+ to "Sorry, We're Open".]
119
+
120
+
121
+ [Cut to: Planet Express. Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Farnsworth
122
+ and Leela are sat around the table. Fry pours some cereal into
123
+ a bowl, Bender relaxes and Leela looks at a clipboard.]
124
+
125
+
126
+ FRY
127
+ I'm never going to get used to the 31st
128
+ century. Caffinated bacon? Baconated
129
+ grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
130
+
131
+
132
+ LEELA
133
+ Well, if you don't like that try some
134
+ Archduke Chocula.
135
+
136
+
137
+ [She holds up a box of the cereal. Enter the Jamaican man with
138
+ a large crate.]
139
+
140
+
141
+ FARNSWORTH
142
+ Ah, Hermes! Crew, meet Hermes Conrad.
143
+ He manages my delivery business, pays
144
+ the bills, notifies next of kin, what
145
+ have you.
146
+
147
+
148
+ HERMES
149
+ Someone come and dropped this package
150
+ through the slot last night. Now which
151
+ one of you is the captain?
152
+
153
+
154
+ FARNSWORTH
155
+ Oh, my! I haven't picked a new captain
156
+ yet. It's always so hard to choose.
157
+
158
+
159
+
160
+ [He looks around the table. Fry is so enthusiastic he doesn't
161
+ manage to swallow his spoonful of cereal completely and milk
162
+ dribbles down his chin.]
163
+
164
+
165
+
166
+ [Farnsworth looks at Bender who drinks back a bottle of beer
167
+ and belches a flame. He looks at Leela. She has already signed
168
+ Hermes' clipboard and she salutes to him.]
169
+
170
+
171
+ FARNSWORTH
172
+ Hmm, you!
173
+
174
+
175
+ [He points at her. Fry groans.]
176
+
177
+
178
+ [Planet Express: Hermes' Office. Hermes sits at his desk facing
179
+ Leela. He slides a sheet of paper to her.]
180
+
181
+
182
+ HERMES
183
+ OK, Captain, this is just a standard
184
+ legal release protecting Planet Express
185
+ from lawsuits in the event of the unforeseen.
186
+
187
+
188
+
189
+ [He hands Leela a piece of paper.]
190
+
191
+
192
+ LEELA
193
+ (reading) Death by airlock failure.
194
+
195
+
196
+
197
+ HERMES
198
+ Mmm.
199
+
200
+
201
+ LEELA
202
+ (reading) Death by brain parasite.
203
+
204
+
205
+
206
+ HERMES
207
+ Yeah.
208
+
209
+
210
+ LEELA
211
+ (reading) Death by sonic diarrhoea?
212
+
213
+
214
+
215
+ HERMES
216
+ (chuckling) Oh, you don't want that!
217
+
218
+
219
+
220
+ LEELA
221
+ Look, I don't know about any of your
222
+ previous captains but I intend to do
223
+ as little dying as possible.
224
+
225
+
226
+ [She puts the form on the desk and Hermes chuckles again. He
227
+ slides it back to her.]
228
+
229
+
230
+ HERMES
231
+ Sign the paper!
232
+
233
+
234
+ [Planet Express: Corridor. Farnsworth and Fry stand next to a
235
+ door.]
236
+
237
+
238
+ FARNSWORTH
239
+ Now Fry, before you go into space you'll
240
+ need to see our staff doctor. I should
241
+ warn you though, he's a little unusual.
242
+ (whispering) He wears sandals!
243
+
244
+
245
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Zoidberg's Office. The doctor, a red
246
+ alien creature is sat in his chair with is feet on the desk.
247
+ Behind him is a chart of a human's internal organs - pinned to
248
+ the wall upside down.]
249
+
250
+
251
+ FRY
252
+ Hi -- eurgh!
253
+
254
+
255
+ FARNSWORTH
256
+ Dr. Zoidberg, this is Fry, the new delivery
257
+ boy. He needs a physical.
258
+
259
+
260
+ ZOIDBERG
261
+ Excellent, excellent!
262
+
263
+
264
+ [He clacks his claws. Fry is not so sure.]
265
+
266
+
267
+ FARNSWORTH
268
+ You'll be fine.
269
+
270
+
271
+ [He turns to leave but looks back with a worried look on his
272
+ face.]
273
+
274
+
275
+ ZOIDBERG
276
+ Now open your mouth and let's have a
277
+ look at that brain. No no no no no
278
+ not that mouth!
279
+
280
+
281
+ FRY
282
+ I only have one.
283
+
284
+
285
+ ZOIDBERG
286
+ Really?
287
+
288
+
289
+ [He takes a small card out of his pocket and looks at it.]
290
+
291
+
292
+ FRY
293
+ Uh, is there a human doctor around?
294
+
295
+
296
+
297
+ ZOIDBERG
298
+ Young lady, I'm an expert on humans.
299
+ Now pick a mouth, open it and say...
300
+ What? My mother was a saint! Get out!
301
+
302
+
303
+
304
+ [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth is unscrewing Bender's
305
+ head from his body. With them is Leela and a young Asian woman
306
+ wearing a pink jumpsuit.]
307
+
308
+
309
+ FARNSWORTH
310
+ Dear Lord, Bender, you're filthy.
311
+
312
+
313
+ BENDER
314
+ Yeah, like you don't have crap in your
315
+ neck!
316
+
317
+
318
+ [Farnsworth puts Bender's head down on a table and turns to the
319
+ girl.]
320
+
321
+
322
+ FARNSWORTH
323
+ Amy, why don't you give his body a going
324
+ over with the cleaning pick?
325
+
326
+
327
+ AMY
328
+ OK. Does it hurt when I go like this?
329
+
330
+
331
+
332
+ [She pokes Bender's neck but hits Leela in the eye instead.]
333
+
334
+
335
+
336
+ LEELA
337
+ Ow!
338
+
339
+
340
+ BENDER
341
+ A little.
342
+
343
+
344
+ [Enter Fry.]
345
+
346
+
347
+ FRY
348
+ Well, the doctor says I'm as healthy
349
+ as a crab. Can I go into space now?
350
+
351
+
352
+
353
+ FARNSWORTH
354
+ As soon as we finish cleaning Bender.
355
+ Oh, and Fry, this is our intern, Amy
356
+ Wong. She's an engineering student of
357
+ mine. (whispering) I like having her
358
+ around because she's the same blood
359
+ type as me.
360
+
361
+
362
+ AMY
363
+ Hey! You're the unfrozen guy! From the
364
+ 20th century, right?
365
+
366
+
367
+ FRY
368
+ (chuffed) Last time I checked.
369
+
370
+
371
+ LEELA
372
+ Hang on. Amy Wong? Of the Mars Wongs?
373
+
374
+
375
+
376
+ AMY
377
+ Look. We're not as rich as everybody
378
+ says.
379
+
380
+
381
+ LEELA
382
+ Uh-huh! What sorority do you belong
383
+ to?
384
+
385
+
386
+ AMY
387
+ (ashamed) Kappa Kappa Wong.
388
+
389
+
390
+ BENDER
391
+ Hey, rich girl. Look over here! It's
392
+ me, Bender. I'm being entertaining.
393
+ (singing) La la la look at my head.
394
+ It's all painted look at my head! I
395
+ got a big old head, hey! Ho! (talking)
396
+ Alright, show's over, I'm tired.
397
+
398
+
399
+ FARNSWORTH
400
+ Ah, to be young again. And also a robot!
401
+ Now as I recall you youngsters have
402
+ a package to deliver.
403
+
404
+
405
+ FRY
406
+ Finally! Come on Bender, let's mosey!
407
+
408
+
409
+
410
+ [He picks up Bender's head and throws it to his body. It misses
411
+ the catch and Bender's head falls on the floor.]
412
+
413
+
414
+ BENDER
415
+ Nice catch, idiot!
416
+
417
+
418
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. The crate is being loaded into the ships
419
+ cargo bay on a magnetic winch. It is addressed to Luna Park.]
420
+
421
+
422
+
423
+ FRY
424
+ So where are we going anyway?
425
+
426
+
427
+ LEELA
428
+ Nowhere special. The moon.
429
+
430
+
431
+ FRY
432
+ The moon? The moon moon? Wow! I'm gonna
433
+ be a famous hero just like Neil Armstrong
434
+ and those other brave guys no one ever
435
+ heard of!
436
+
437
+
438
+ AMY
439
+ Oh, I love stuff like the moon! Can
440
+ I come, Leela?
441
+
442
+
443
+ LEELA
444
+ Well...I guess so. Just be careful.
445
+ I'd like to hold off any major screwups
446
+ until at least my second day as captain.
447
+
448
+
449
+
450
+ FANSWORTH
451
+ Nothing will go wrong. (whispering)
452
+ If something goes wrong bring back the
453
+ blood.
454
+
455
+
456
+ [Ships Cockpit. Bender and Amy are sat on the couch. Leela sits
457
+ in the pilot's seat while Fry sits in a chair beside her. She
458
+ presses some buttons.]
459
+
460
+
461
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. The tilting mechanism comes
462
+ out of the floor and pushes the ship into its 45-degree launch
463
+ position.]
464
+
465
+
466
+ [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The hangar roof slides open.]
467
+
468
+
469
+
470
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry scoots his chair over to Leela.]
471
+
472
+
473
+
474
+ FRY
475
+ Can I do the countdown?
476
+
477
+
478
+ LEELA
479
+ Huh? Oh sure, knock yourself out.
480
+
481
+
482
+ FRY
483
+ Ten......nine --
484
+
485
+
486
+ LEELA
487
+ OK we're here!
488
+
489
+
490
+ Fry; (awestruck) Eightsevensixfivefourthreetwooneblastoff!
491
+
492
+
493
+ [The ship cruises towards the moon and flies through a hole in
494
+ a dome on the surface.]
495
+
496
+
497
+ [Cut to: Outside Luna Park. The ship lands.]
498
+
499
+
500
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Leela takes the keys out of the ignition
501
+ and Fry gets out of his seat and heads for the door.]
502
+
503
+
504
+ FRY
505
+ Hurry up, I wanna see the moon!
506
+
507
+
508
+ LEELA
509
+ Relax, its open till 9.
510
+
511
+
512
+ [Cut to: Outside Ship. Fry stands on the bottom step.]
513
+
514
+
515
+ FRY
516
+ That's one small step for Fry --
517
+
518
+
519
+ MAN
520
+ And one giant line for admission!
521
+
522
+
523
+ [The man is standing in a long queue for the Luna Park, a huge
524
+ Disneyland-like place with moon-themed rides.]
525
+
526
+
527
+ FRY
528
+ Wow! Um, can I have cuts?
529
+
530
+
531
+ MAN
532
+ Hmm -- No!
533
+
534
+
535
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry runs in.]
536
+
537
+
538
+ FRY
539
+ You're not gonna believe this but they
540
+ landed an amusement park on the moon!
541
+
542
+
543
+
544
+ AMY
545
+ Guh! It's the happiest place orbiting
546
+ Earth.
547
+
548
+
549
+ FRY
550
+ Lets go, already!
551
+
552
+
553
+ [They walk towards the door but Leela is blocking it.]
554
+
555
+
556
+ LEELA
557
+ Fry, we have a crate to deliver.
558
+
559
+
560
+ FRY
561
+ Let's just dump it in the sewer and
562
+ say we delivered it.
563
+
564
+
565
+ BENDER
566
+ Too much work. Lets burn it and say
567
+ we dumped it in the sewer.
568
+
569
+
570
+ LEELA
571
+ OK, if everyone's finished being stupid
572
+ --
573
+
574
+
575
+ FRY
576
+ I had more but you go ahead.
577
+
578
+
579
+ LEELA
580
+ We'll deliver that crate like professionals
581
+ and then we'll go home.
582
+
583
+
584
+ FRY
585
+ But I've never been to the moon before.
586
+
587
+
588
+
589
+ [Leela sighs.]
590
+
591
+
592
+ LEELA
593
+ Alright. We'll deliver that crate like
594
+ professionals...and then we'll go ride
595
+ the bumper cars. Amy, why don't you
596
+ help Fry hoist down the crate. Then
597
+ lock up when you're done. Just be careful.
598
+
599
+
600
+
601
+ [She hands the keys to Amy.]
602
+
603
+
604
+ AMY
605
+ Aye, aye, Captain! I mean only one eye.
606
+ I mean, yes, sir, um, ma'am!
607
+
608
+
609
+ [Ships Cargo Bay. Fry stands next to the crate by the open bomb
610
+ bay doors while Amy stands at the magnetic winch control station.]
611
+
612
+
613
+
614
+ AMY
615
+ Clear?
616
+
617
+
618
+ FRY
619
+ Clear!
620
+
621
+
622
+ AMY
623
+ Ready to hoist?
624
+
625
+
626
+ FRY
627
+ Ready!
628
+
629
+
630
+ [Amy presses a button and the winch drops and hits her on the
631
+ head.]
632
+
633
+
634
+ AMY
635
+ Ow!
636
+
637
+
638
+ [The magnetic forces pull the keys out of her pocket. She tries
639
+ again and the winch picks up the crate. The keys slip off the
640
+ winch and through a hole in the crate.]
641
+
642
+
643
+ [Outside Luna Park Receiving Depot. Fry wheels the crate towards
644
+ the room on a trolley. Amy follows.]
645
+
646
+
647
+ FRY
648
+ My first space delivery.
649
+
650
+
651
+ [Cut to: Luna Park Receiving Depot. A lazy man named Sal is sat
652
+ at a desk with his feet up. Enter Fry.]
653
+
654
+
655
+ FRY
656
+ Uh, greetings, Moon Man, we come in
657
+ peace. I am Fry from the planet Earth.
658
+
659
+
660
+
661
+ SAL
662
+ Wise guy, huh? If I wasn't so lazy I'd
663
+ punch you in the stomach.
664
+
665
+
666
+ FRY
667
+ But you are lazy, right?
668
+
669
+
670
+ SAL
671
+ Oh, don't get me started.
672
+
673
+
674
+ [Luna Park: Moon Street USA. The crew walk past a band of bandbots
675
+ that are shaped like musical instruments, past a Moonvenirs stall.
676
+ Bender stops and takes a bottle out of his chest cabinet and
677
+ a mascot with a huge flat moon shaped head runs up behind him.]
678
+
679
+
680
+
681
+ CRATER FACE
682
+ Hi, I'm Crater Face! Welcome to Luna
683
+ Park. I'll have to confiscate your alcohol,
684
+ sir.
685
+
686
+
687
+ BENDER
688
+ Better mascots than you have tried.
689
+
690
+
691
+
692
+ [He finishes the bottle and jabs it in Crater Face's eye making
693
+ it look like a scene from A Trip To The Moon. He leaves..]
694
+
695
+
696
+
697
+ CRATER FACE
698
+ At least I still have my self respect!
699
+
700
+
701
+
702
+ [He chuckles to himself then cries.]
703
+
704
+
705
+ [Time Lapse. At a souvenir stall they merchandise such as "I'm
706
+ With Stupid On The Moon" t-shirts, "My Other Car Is A Porsche
707
+ - On The Moon" bumper stickers and "What Part Of MOON Don't You
708
+ Understand?" fridge magnets. Leela scoffs.]
709
+
710
+
711
+ LEELA
712
+ Who buys this trash?
713
+
714
+
715
+ BENDER
716
+ Idiots who need gifts for other idiots.
717
+
718
+
719
+
720
+ [Fry emerges from around the corner wearing one of the t-shirts
721
+ and carrying magnets.]
722
+
723
+
724
+ FRY
725
+ Hey, I got you guys refrigerator magnets.
726
+
727
+
728
+
729
+ [He puts one on Bender's head causing Bender's pupils to dilate
730
+ and an electrical surge in his head. He starts waving his arms
731
+ around in a panic.]
732
+
733
+
734
+ BENDER
735
+ Get it off! Get it off! Get it -- uh
736
+ oh! (singing) How many roads must a
737
+ man walk down, before you... (talking)
738
+ Keep those things off of me! Magnets
739
+ screw up my inhibition unit!
740
+
741
+
742
+ FRY
743
+ So you flip out and start acting like
744
+ some crazy folk singer?
745
+
746
+
747
+ BENDER
748
+ Yes. I guess a robot would have to be
749
+ crazy to wanna be a folk singer.
750
+
751
+
752
+ [He gazes upwards sadly.]
753
+
754
+
755
+ [Luna Park: Whalers Of The Sea Of Tranquility. The gang float
756
+ through an It's A Small World After All-like ride passing by
757
+ robotic whalers.]
758
+
759
+
760
+ WHALERBOTS
761
+ (singing) We're whalers on the moon,
762
+
763
+
764
+ We carry a harpoon,
765
+
766
+ But there ain't no whales so we tell our tall tale
767
+
768
+ And sing our whaling tune!
769
+
770
+
771
+ [A Whalerbot tilting on a barrel waves to Bender.]
772
+
773
+
774
+ WHALERBOT
775
+ Bender, hey, Bender! Over here!
776
+
777
+
778
+ [Bender covers his face and turns away.]
779
+
780
+
781
+ BENDER
782
+ Oh, jeez, I went to high school with
783
+ that guy!
784
+
785
+
786
+ [Luna Park: Goophy Gopher Revue. The audience sit patiently for
787
+ the show to begin.]
788
+
789
+
790
+ ANNOUNCER
791
+ Monsanto presents: The Goophy Gopher
792
+ Revue!
793
+
794
+
795
+ [On a small stage several robotic gophers pop out of crater-shaped
796
+ holes.]
797
+
798
+
799
+ GOPHER #1
800
+ Why does a moon rock taste better than
801
+ an Earth rock?
802
+
803
+
804
+ GOPHER #2
805
+ Because it's a little meteor!
806
+
807
+
808
+ [The gophers laugh.]
809
+
810
+
811
+ FRY
812
+ This is weak!
813
+
814
+
815
+ GOPHER #1
816
+ Address all complaints to the Monsanto
817
+ Corporation.
818
+
819
+
820
+ [Luna Park. The crew get some candy floss from an Orlon Candy
821
+ stall and carry on walking around the park. Fry looks unhappy.]
822
+
823
+
824
+
825
+ LEELA
826
+ What's wrong, Fry?
827
+
828
+
829
+ FRY
830
+ I don't know. This place is great and
831
+ all but its just so artificial. The
832
+ gravity, the air, the gophers. You might
833
+ as well stay on Earth. That's what
834
+ I came to see! I wanna go out there
835
+ and jump around like an astronaut. Screw
836
+ this phoney stuff!
837
+
838
+
839
+ LEELA
840
+ But the phoney stuff is what's fun.
841
+ It's boring out there.
842
+
843
+
844
+ BENDER
845
+ Yeah! You're the kind of guy who visits
846
+ Jerusalem and doesn't want to see the
847
+ Sexeteria!
848
+
849
+
850
+ LEELA
851
+ Maybe I should take Fry on the Luna
852
+ Rover ride. You get to wear a space
853
+ suit and drive around on the surface.
854
+ And the line's short because it's educational.
855
+
856
+
857
+
858
+ FRY
859
+ I don't care how educational it is.
860
+ Let's do it!
861
+
862
+
863
+ [He runs off with Leela. Bender raises his bottle.]
864
+
865
+
866
+ BENDER
867
+ (shouting) Next year in Jerusalem!
868
+
869
+
870
+
871
+ [Luna Park: Destination Moon. Fry and Leela sit in a moon buggy
872
+ wearing orange spacesuits.]
873
+
874
+
875
+ FRY
876
+ Finally! Get ready for some serious
877
+ moon action.
878
+
879
+
880
+ [They go through some doors.]
881
+
882
+
883
+ NARRATOR
884
+ (voice-over) The story of lunar exploration
885
+ started with one man. A man with a dream.
886
+
887
+
888
+
889
+ [The ride continues to a room with animatronic versions of the
890
+ leads from The Honeymooners.]
891
+
892
+
893
+ RALPH KRAMDENBOT
894
+ One of these days, Alice. Bang! Zoom!
895
+ Straight to the moon!
896
+
897
+
898
+ LEELA
899
+ Wow, I never realised the first astronauts
900
+ were so fat!
901
+
902
+
903
+ FRY
904
+ That's not an astronaut, it's a TV comedian.
905
+ And he was just using space travel as
906
+ a metaphor for beating his wife.
907
+
908
+
909
+ [Luna Park Arcade. Amy is playing Virtual Virtual Skeeball, a
910
+ virtual version of Virtual Skeeball. She just sits in a chair
911
+ wearing a VR helmet.]
912
+
913
+
914
+ AMY
915
+ Wow! I could swear I was really playing
916
+ virtual skeeball! Hm?
917
+
918
+
919
+ [She takes the helmet off.]
920
+
921
+
922
+ BENDER
923
+ Look, it's that crate we were gonna
924
+ throw in the sewer.
925
+
926
+
927
+ [He points to Sal who is emptying the crate into a claw machine
928
+ using a robot arm around his waist. They watch as the ship keys
929
+ fall out of the crate and into the machine. Amy gasps.]
930
+
931
+
932
+ AMY
933
+ The keys to the ship! They must have
934
+ fallen into the crate! Leela's gonna
935
+ kill me!
936
+
937
+
938
+ BENDER
939
+ Nah. She'll probably make me do it.
940
+
941
+
942
+
943
+ AMY
944
+ Mister? Could you please get those keys
945
+ out for me?
946
+
947
+
948
+ SAL
949
+ What do I look like? A guy who's not
950
+ lazy?
951
+
952
+
953
+ [Amy gets a coin out and plays the game. The claw grabs the keys
954
+ but drops them on the way back up and she curses in Chinese.]
955
+
956
+
957
+
958
+ [Luna Park: Destination Moon. The moon buggy continues across
959
+ lunar terrain, boxed in with poorly constructed walls with stars
960
+ painted on them.]
961
+
962
+
963
+ NARRATOR
964
+ (voice-over) No one knows where, when
965
+ or how Man first landed on the moon...
966
+
967
+
968
+
969
+ FRY
970
+ I do.
971
+
972
+
973
+ NARRATOR
974
+ (voice-over) ...but our fungineers think
975
+ it might have happened something like
976
+ this:
977
+
978
+
979
+ [A prop of a lunar landing module opens up and Whalerbots file
980
+ out of it.]
981
+
982
+
983
+ WHALERBOTS
984
+ (singing) We're whalers on the moon,
985
+
986
+
987
+
988
+ [Goophy Gophers pop up from craters.]
989
+
990
+
991
+ GOPHERS
992
+ (singing) We carry a harpoon,
993
+
994
+
995
+
996
+ LEELA
997
+ (singing) ...and sing a whaling tune.
998
+ We're whalers on the moon...
999
+
1000
+
1001
+ FRY
1002
+ That's not how it happened.
1003
+
1004
+
1005
+ LEELA
1006
+ Oh, really? I don't see you with a fungineering
1007
+ degree! p>
1008
+
1009
+
1010
+ FRY
1011
+ This is stupid. I'm taking this thing
1012
+ out to the real moon.
1013
+
1014
+
1015
+ LEELA
1016
+ Fry, no. This is my first mission and
1017
+ I'm not gonna let us get in any trouble.
1018
+ Besides, the car's on a track.
1019
+
1020
+
1021
+ FRY
1022
+ Not for long!
1023
+
1024
+
1025
+ [He grabs a harpoon, throws it in front of the buggy and derails
1026
+ it. It drives over a whalerbot and out onto the open lunar surface.]
1027
+
1028
+
1029
+
1030
+ WHALERBOT
1031
+ Ooh aah! I died doin' what I loved.
1032
+
1033
+
1034
+
1035
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Fry drives the car around grinning.]
1036
+
1037
+
1038
+
1039
+ LEELA
1040
+ OK, you're on the surface. Now I'll
1041
+ give you 10 minutes. Then you'll get
1042
+ bored, turn around and apologise for
1043
+ being such a jerk. Agreed?
1044
+
1045
+
1046
+ FRY
1047
+ Agreed. Yee-haw! Woo! Yeah! Crank up
1048
+ the radio!
1049
+
1050
+
1051
+ [He turns the radio on.]
1052
+
1053
+
1054
+ WHALERBOTS
1055
+ We're whalers on the -
1056
+
1057
+
1058
+ [He turns it off straight away.]
1059
+
1060
+
1061
+ [Time Lapse. Fry drives around another crater.]
1062
+
1063
+
1064
+ FRY
1065
+ Yee-haw!
1066
+
1067
+
1068
+ LEELA
1069
+ Time's up. Make a U-turn at the next
1070
+ crater.
1071
+
1072
+
1073
+ FRY
1074
+ No not yet. How 'bout we go look for
1075
+ the original moon landing site?
1076
+
1077
+
1078
+ LEELA
1079
+ That's crazy! It's been lost for centuries!
1080
+
1081
+
1082
+
1083
+ FRY
1084
+ Well I'm feelin' lucky! Uh... I'm ready
1085
+ to go back now.
1086
+
1087
+
1088
+ [Time Lapse.]
1089
+
1090
+
1091
+ FRY
1092
+ We're gonna die! It's every man for
1093
+ himself! Help me, Leela! You did it!
1094
+ We're safe!
1095
+
1096
+
1097
+ LEELA
1098
+ No. Now we're gonna die.
1099
+
1100
+
1101
+ [The gauge on the oxygen canister reads nearly empty.]
1102
+
1103
+
1104
+ FRY
1105
+ It's every man for himself.
1106
+
1107
+
1108
+ [He tries to run off but chokes himself on the oxygen pipe from
1109
+ his helmet.]
1110
+
1111
+
1112
+ [Luna Park: Arcade. Amy is still trying to get the keys but the
1113
+ claw drops them again. Enter Bender with a small doll.]
1114
+
1115
+
1116
+ BENDER
1117
+ Hey, look what I won from a tourist's
1118
+ pocket!
1119
+
1120
+
1121
+ AMY
1122
+ Shut up. You're distracting me.
1123
+
1124
+
1125
+ BENDER
1126
+ Come on, it's just like making love.
1127
+ Y'know: Left, down, rotate 62 degrees,
1128
+ engage rotor.
1129
+
1130
+
1131
+ AMY
1132
+ I know how to make love!
1133
+
1134
+
1135
+ [The claw drops the keys again. Amy sighs.]
1136
+
1137
+
1138
+ BENDER
1139
+ Here, let me do it. Ah, lousy arm.
1140
+ Must be rigged! That's her, officers!
1141
+ Uh, that's the woman who programmed
1142
+ me for evil!
1143
+
1144
+
1145
+ [He runs off with his extended arm trailing behind him and the
1146
+ Moon Patrol chase him.]
1147
+
1148
+
1149
+ [Cut to: Outside Lunar Park Dome. The Moon Patrol officers throw
1150
+ Bender outside the dome and close the doors behind him.]
1151
+
1152
+
1153
+ BENDER
1154
+ Yeah, well, I'm gonna go build my own
1155
+ theme park, with blackjack and hookers.
1156
+ In fact, forget the park!
1157
+
1158
+
1159
+ [Lunar Surface. An exhausted Fry and Leela continue their journey
1160
+ back to the park.]
1161
+
1162
+
1163
+ FRY
1164
+ (gasping) I'm sorry, Leela, I can't
1165
+ go on any further. Just leave me to
1166
+ die in that barn over there.
1167
+
1168
+
1169
+ [Leela gasps. Fry is pointing to a farm in a dome.]
1170
+
1171
+
1172
+ [Cut to: Farmyard. Fry and Leela run in and take off their space
1173
+ helmets, panting.]
1174
+
1175
+
1176
+ LEELA
1177
+ Thank God!
1178
+
1179
+
1180
+ [Behind them a gun cocks. They turn around and see a farmer.
1181
+ He has a buck tooth and a cap that says "The Moon Shall Rise
1182
+ Again".]
1183
+
1184
+
1185
+ FARMER
1186
+ Trespassers, eh?
1187
+
1188
+
1189
+ FRY
1190
+ No, sir. We're amusement park patrons.
1191
+
1192
+
1193
+
1194
+ FARMER
1195
+ Ooh, that's a wicked sinful place. Tilt-a-whirl's
1196
+ OK, but the rest is mighty wicked.
1197
+
1198
+
1199
+
1200
+ LEELA
1201
+ Our car broke down and we're out of
1202
+ oxygen. Can we borrow some?
1203
+
1204
+
1205
+ FARMER
1206
+ Huh, borry? Looky here, city girl, oxygen
1207
+ don't grow on trees. You'll have to
1208
+ earn it doing chores on my hydroponic
1209
+ farm. You can go back to your precious
1210
+ theme park at sun up.
1211
+
1212
+
1213
+ FRY
1214
+ I guess we could do chores for a few
1215
+ hours.
1216
+
1217
+
1218
+ LEELA
1219
+ Fry, night lasts two weeks on the moon.
1220
+
1221
+
1222
+
1223
+ FARMER
1224
+ Yup. Drops down to -173!
1225
+
1226
+
1227
+ FRY
1228
+ Fahrenheit or Celsius?
1229
+
1230
+
1231
+ FARMER
1232
+ First one, then th'other. And them spacesuits
1233
+ ain't a-heated so you ain�t goin' nowhere
1234
+ til sunrise. You can sleep in the barn.
1235
+ Just don't be a-touchin' my three beautiful
1236
+ robot daughters. Y'hear?
1237
+
1238
+
1239
+ FRY
1240
+ Robot daughters?
1241
+
1242
+
1243
+ [He points to his robot daughters outside the house.]
1244
+
1245
+
1246
+ FARMER
1247
+ This here is Lulabelle 7.
1248
+
1249
+
1250
+ LULABELLE 7
1251
+ Yoo-hoo!
1252
+
1253
+
1254
+ FARMER
1255
+ Daisy-Mae 128K.
1256
+
1257
+
1258
+ DAISY-MAE 128K
1259
+ Yoo-hoo!
1260
+
1261
+
1262
+ FARMER
1263
+ And the Crushinator.
1264
+
1265
+
1266
+ [The Crushinator is a huge pink thing with tracks instead of
1267
+ legs.]
1268
+
1269
+
1270
+ CRUSHINATOR
1271
+ (mechanical voice) Yoo-hoo.
1272
+
1273
+
1274
+ FRY
1275
+ Whoa!
1276
+
1277
+
1278
+ [Barn. Fry and Leela are milking some cows.]
1279
+
1280
+
1281
+ LEELA
1282
+ I told you to turn around and go back
1283
+ to the park. But oh, no, the park was
1284
+ too phoney. We had to see the real moon.
1285
+
1286
+
1287
+
1288
+ FRY
1289
+ And it was great! We got to see craters
1290
+ and rocks and that one incredible rock
1291
+ that looked like a crater and, and these
1292
+ fellas.
1293
+
1294
+
1295
+ [He pats the cow, which isn't a cow but some sort of insect-bovine
1296
+ creature called a buggalo.]
1297
+
1298
+
1299
+ LEELA
1300
+ Fry, face it. The moon is a dump. It's
1301
+ a boring dried up wasteland. And the
1302
+ only reason anybody ever comes here
1303
+ is for the tacky little amusement park.
1304
+ Can't you just accept that?
1305
+
1306
+
1307
+ FRY
1308
+ I guess I can't.
1309
+
1310
+
1311
+ [They hear a shot from outside. They look through the transparent
1312
+ barn doors and see Bender running out of the farmhouse.]
1313
+
1314
+
1315
+ [Cut to: Farmyard. The farmer chases him out of the house waving
1316
+ his rifle.]
1317
+
1318
+
1319
+ FARMER
1320
+ I'll learn ye to sleep with my robot
1321
+ daughters!
1322
+
1323
+
1324
+ [Bender runs into the barn.]
1325
+
1326
+
1327
+ [Cut to: Barn. He leans against the transparent door. Outside
1328
+ the farmer reloads his gun.]
1329
+
1330
+
1331
+ BENDER
1332
+ He'll never find me in here.
1333
+
1334
+
1335
+ LEELA
1336
+ Bender?
1337
+
1338
+
1339
+ FRY
1340
+ Oh, Bender. You didn't touch the Crushinator,
1341
+ did you?
1342
+
1343
+
1344
+ BENDER
1345
+ Of course not. A lady that fine you
1346
+ gotta romance first.
1347
+
1348
+
1349
+ [Another gunshot smashes the barn door behind Bender. Bender
1350
+ legs it while the farmer reloads. Fry and Leela follow him through
1351
+ another door. They pick up their helmets as they run.]
1352
+
1353
+
1354
+ [Cut to: Farmyard. They grab some oxygen tanks and get into the
1355
+ moon buggy.]
1356
+
1357
+
1358
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The buggy speeds away from the farm.
1359
+ The farmer, in a spacesuit but with his cap sat on top, Lulabelle
1360
+ 7 and Daisy-Mae 128K run after them. The farmer fires a shot
1361
+ at them and misses.]
1362
+
1363
+
1364
+ FARMER
1365
+ Oh, no you don't! C'mere Crushinator.
1366
+
1367
+
1368
+
1369
+ [Crushinator drives out of the farm and pulls up beside him.]
1370
+
1371
+
1372
+
1373
+ CRUSHINATOR
1374
+ (mechanical voice) Yes, Pa.
1375
+
1376
+
1377
+ [She transforms into a car. The farmer and his other two daughters
1378
+ get in and drive after Fry, Leela and Bender. They chase the
1379
+ crew around past craters and through ravines. The farmer takes
1380
+ a shot at the crew and narrowly misses them. The crew round a
1381
+ corner and find their way blocked by a rock bridge.]
1382
+
1383
+
1384
+ FRY
1385
+ It's too low.
1386
+
1387
+
1388
+ LEELA
1389
+ Hang on. Hang on. Jump. Hold on to
1390
+ your helmet!
1391
+
1392
+
1393
+ [They jump the gorge, flying over crocodiles with space helmets
1394
+ and land safely on the other side. They all cheer and then a
1395
+ wheel falls off the buggy. The Crushintor approaches the other
1396
+ side and stops. The farmer climbs out and slams the door.]
1397
+
1398
+
1399
+
1400
+ FARMER
1401
+ God darn, it Crushinator, jump!
1402
+
1403
+
1404
+ CRUSHINATOR
1405
+ (mechanical voice) No, Pa. I love him.
1406
+
1407
+
1408
+
1409
+ [The farmer takes his hat off and jumps on it, groaning. Leela
1410
+ looks at the broken wheel and Fry sees a huge shadow approaching.]
1411
+
1412
+
1413
+
1414
+ FRY
1415
+ Hey, cool! Dark side of the moon!
1416
+
1417
+
1418
+ [Leela gasps.]
1419
+
1420
+
1421
+ LEELA
1422
+ Nightfall's coming. Hurry, before we
1423
+ freeze.
1424
+
1425
+
1426
+ [The flee from the shadow.]
1427
+
1428
+
1429
+ BENDER
1430
+ What do you mean "we", mammal?
1431
+
1432
+
1433
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. He watches the crew
1434
+ through a telescope.]
1435
+
1436
+
1437
+ FARNSWORTH
1438
+ Oh, dear! I really ought to do something.
1439
+ But I am already in my pyjamas.
1440
+
1441
+
1442
+ [He falls asleep and starts snoring.]
1443
+
1444
+
1445
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Fry and Leela are panting.]
1446
+
1447
+
1448
+ LEELA
1449
+ We can't outrun it forever.
1450
+
1451
+
1452
+ [Fry sees something.]
1453
+
1454
+
1455
+ FRY
1456
+ Over there! Look! It's the moon landing
1457
+ site! We found it!
1458
+
1459
+
1460
+ [They run towards it. Leela climbs the ladder and pushes over
1461
+ the hatch.]
1462
+
1463
+
1464
+ LEELA
1465
+ Quick, get in.
1466
+
1467
+
1468
+ [Fry sees the American flag.]
1469
+
1470
+
1471
+ FRY
1472
+ It's that flag from MTV! And Neil Armstrong's
1473
+ footprint! Hey! My foot's bigger! Leela,
1474
+ isn't this the greatest thing you've
1475
+ ever seen?
1476
+
1477
+
1478
+ LEELA
1479
+ Fry, look around. It's just a crummy
1480
+ plastic flag and a dead man's tracks
1481
+ in the dust. Now get in here before
1482
+ you freeze.
1483
+
1484
+
1485
+ [Fry sighs and climbs the ladder.]
1486
+
1487
+
1488
+ [Cut to: Apollo 11 Lander. Leela helps him in.]
1489
+
1490
+
1491
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. She closes the door just as Bender arrives.]
1492
+
1493
+
1494
+
1495
+ BENDER
1496
+ Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine! I'll
1497
+ go build my own lunar lander, with blackjack
1498
+ and hookers. In fact, forget the lunar
1499
+ lander and the blackjack. Ah, screw
1500
+ the whole thing.
1501
+
1502
+
1503
+ [He walks off.]
1504
+
1505
+
1506
+ [Apollo 11 Lander. Leela reads the oxygen gauge.]
1507
+
1508
+
1509
+ LEELA
1510
+ Well if the oxygen holds out we might
1511
+ live long enough to starve to death.
1512
+
1513
+
1514
+
1515
+ FRY
1516
+ Look, Leela, I'm sorry. I never should
1517
+ have dragged you out here.
1518
+
1519
+
1520
+ LEELA
1521
+ That's right, you shouldn't have. I
1522
+ still don't get what the big attraction
1523
+ is.
1524
+
1525
+
1526
+ [Fry sighs.]
1527
+
1528
+
1529
+ FRY
1530
+ I never told anybody this but a thousand
1531
+ years ago I used to look up at the moon
1532
+ and dream about being an astronaut.
1533
+ I just didn't have the grades. Nor the
1534
+ physical endurance. Plus I threw up
1535
+ a lot and nobody liked spending a week
1536
+ with me.
1537
+
1538
+
1539
+ LEELA
1540
+ A week would be a little much.
1541
+
1542
+
1543
+ FRY
1544
+ The moon was like this awesome, romantic,
1545
+ mysterious thing, hanging up there in
1546
+ the sky where you could never reach
1547
+ it, no matter how much you wanted to.
1548
+ But you're right. Once you're actually
1549
+ here it's just a big dull rock. I guess
1550
+ I just wanted you to see it through
1551
+ my eyes, the way I used to.
1552
+
1553
+
1554
+ [Leela looks through a window. She sees the Earth.]
1555
+
1556
+
1557
+ LEELA
1558
+ Fry, look. It really is beautiful. I
1559
+ don't know why I never noticed before.
1560
+
1561
+
1562
+
1563
+ [Bender runs towards the capsule.]
1564
+
1565
+
1566
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The farmer is chasing him in a weird
1567
+ thing with spikes.]
1568
+
1569
+
1570
+ FARMER
1571
+ Had to come back for the Crushinator,
1572
+ eh, robot? Well I got you this time.
1573
+
1574
+
1575
+
1576
+ [The spikes get closer to Bender. The Planet Express ship swoops
1577
+ in above them. The magnetic winch lowers towards Bender.]
1578
+
1579
+
1580
+ [Cut to: Apollo 11 Lander.]
1581
+
1582
+
1583
+ FRY
1584
+ It's Amy! We're saved!
1585
+
1586
+
1587
+ LEELA
1588
+ Amy? Where'd she learn to operate the
1589
+ controls like that?
1590
+
1591
+
1592
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Amy is operating the winch expertly,
1593
+ having had practice at the Luna Park with the claw game. The
1594
+ toys from the game are piled up in the corner.]
1595
+
1596
+
1597
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. The winch is getting closer to Bender.]
1598
+
1599
+
1600
+
1601
+ BENDER
1602
+ Not the magnet! No! No! Nooo -- Uh-oh!
1603
+
1604
+
1605
+
1606
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Amy cheers.]
1607
+
1608
+
1609
+ [Cut to: Lunar Surface. Bender kicks his legs and waves his arms
1610
+ around as he flies away from the farmer attached to the winch.]
1611
+
1612
+
1613
+
1614
+ BENDER
1615
+ (singing) She'll be comin' round the
1616
+ mountain when she comes,
1617
+
1618
+ She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes --
1619
+
1620
+ (talking) I'll kill you Amy!
1621
+
1622
+ (singing) She'll be comin' round the mountain,
1623
+
1624
+ She'll be comin' round the mountain,
1625
+
1626
+ She'll be comin' --
1627
+
1628
+
1629
+ [He slams into the side of the lunar lander and it takes off.
1630
+ The farmer watches the ship fly away and takes off his space
1631
+ helmet and jumps on it.]
1632
+
1633
+
1634
+ FARMER
1635
+ Aww, dang it!
1636
+
1637
+
1638
+ [He starts to choke then collapses. He reaches over to the helmet
1639
+ and puts it back on and breathes. Bender, still attached to the
1640
+ side of the lander, carries on singing.]
1641
+
1642
+
1643
+ BENDER
1644
+ (singing) She'll be riding six white
1645
+ horses when she comes,
1646
+
1647
+ She'll be riding six white horses when she comes -
1648
+
1649
+ (talking) Hey, I'm pretty good!
1650
+
1651
+ (singing) She'll be riding six white horses...
1652
+
1653
+
1654
+ LEELA
1655
+ So, Fry, was the real moon anything
1656
+ like the moon you used to dream about?
1657
+
1658
+
1659
+
1660
+ FRY
1661
+ Well, close enough!
1662
+
1663
+
1664
+ THE END
1665
+
1666
+
1667
+ BENDER
1668
+ Well I'll shoot her with my ray gun
1669
+ when she comes,
1670
+
1671
+ Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes,
1672
+
1673
+ Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun,
1674
+
1675
+ Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun,
1676
+
1677
+ Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes,
1678
+
1679
+ When she comes!
1680
+
1681
+
1682
+ I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,
1683
+
1684
+ I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,
1685
+
1686
+ I'll be blastin' all the humans,
1687
+
1688
+ I'll be blastin' all the humans,
1689
+
1690
+ I'll be blastin' all the humans in the world,
1691
+
1692
+ In the world!
1693
+
1694
+
1695
+ (shouting) One more time!
content/my_data/s1e3.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1543 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ FUTURAMA
2
+
3
+ Episode 103
4
+
5
+ "I, ROBOT"
6
+
7
+ By
8
+
9
+ Eric Horsted
10
+
11
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
12
+
13
+
14
+
15
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: As Seen On TV.]
16
+
17
+
18
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry is asleep on the big table.
19
+ The other staff are sat around it for a morning meeting. His
20
+ alarm clock goes off and he reaches over and pushes Bender's
21
+ antenna down.]
22
+
23
+
24
+ BENDER
25
+ Hey!
26
+
27
+
28
+ [He picks up the alarm clock and bends it on the table so it
29
+ looks like a melted clock from Salvador Dali's artwork The Persistence
30
+ Of Memory.]
31
+
32
+
33
+ HERMES
34
+ Fry, mon, if you're going to be living
35
+ in the office you could at least be
36
+ on time for work.
37
+
38
+
39
+ FRY
40
+ I'm sorry. I was up really late poking
41
+ through people's desks.
42
+
43
+
44
+ [He gets up and climbs off the table.]
45
+
46
+
47
+ HERMES
48
+ Alright, people. I will now outline
49
+ today's 12-point agenda. We'll begin
50
+ with point one then race forward --
51
+
52
+
53
+
54
+ [He is interrupted by a clattering sound.]
55
+
56
+
57
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Kitchen. Fry is pouring himself a huge
58
+ bowl of Bachelor Chow. He turns the tap on and covers it in water.]
59
+
60
+
61
+
62
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry sits down, still in
63
+ his underwear.]
64
+
65
+
66
+ HERMES
67
+ Concerning our pest problem: Somebody's
68
+ been leaving food around and it's attracting
69
+ owls. And I, for one, am getting tired
70
+ of cleaning those owl traps. Now......as
71
+ this shocking graph indicates, our water
72
+ consumption has tripled in the last
73
+ month. I notice Fry has been here for
74
+ a month, so I'm appointing him head
75
+ of a committee to find who's responsible.
76
+ Fry? Am I cracking up, or is Fry's
77
+ living here starting to get in the way
78
+ of bus -
79
+
80
+
81
+ [He is interrupted again by Fry, who is drying his hair using
82
+ the ships engine. Leela runs over and hits the emergency shutdown
83
+ button.]
84
+
85
+
86
+ LEELA
87
+ What the hell are you doing?! You're
88
+ getting a huge dose of radiation!
89
+
90
+
91
+
92
+ FRY
93
+ And great lift!
94
+
95
+
96
+ LEELA
97
+ Do you know how long it's going to take
98
+ me to recalibrate these engines?
99
+
100
+
101
+ FRY
102
+ Hey, when you look this good, you don't
103
+ have to know anything.
104
+
105
+
106
+ [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. Farnsworth is looking for
107
+ something. Enter Leela, Bender, Hermes, Amy and Zoidberg.]
108
+
109
+
110
+
111
+ LEELA
112
+ Professor, We need to talk to you about
113
+ Fry.
114
+
115
+
116
+ BENDER
117
+ That's right, we want some money --
118
+ wait, what's this about Fry?
119
+
120
+
121
+ LEELA
122
+ He's a nice guy but we think it's about
123
+ time he got his own place.
124
+
125
+
126
+ FARNSWORTH
127
+ Oh, fuff! He's not causing any trouble.
128
+ Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy.
129
+ I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy.
130
+ This sarcophagus should contain the
131
+ remains of Emperor Nimballa, who ruled
132
+ Zubin 5 over 29 million years ago.
133
+
134
+
135
+
136
+ [Fry walks past the lab eating the mummy.]
137
+
138
+
139
+ FRY
140
+ Hey, Professor, great jerky!
141
+
142
+
143
+ FARNSWORTH
144
+ My God, this is an outrage! I was going
145
+ to eat that mummy! Fry has got to go!
146
+
147
+
148
+
149
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Fry is slumped back on the couch watching
150
+ TV.]
151
+
152
+
153
+ ANNOUNCER
154
+ Bachelor chow: Now with flavour!
155
+
156
+
157
+ [Fry changes the channel to Monster Truck wrestling.]
158
+
159
+
160
+ COMMENTATOR
161
+ And Bigfoot is down!
162
+
163
+
164
+ FRY
165
+ Sheesh! 40,000 channels and only 150
166
+ have anything good on.
167
+
168
+
169
+ [He switches the channel over again. There is a sponsorship advert
170
+ on the screen.]
171
+
172
+
173
+ ANNOUNCER
174
+ All My Circuits is brought to you by
175
+ Robo Fresh: Designed by a robot, for
176
+ a robot.
177
+
178
+
179
+ [The picture changes to two robots - Calculon and Monique - sitting
180
+ on a bench.]
181
+
182
+
183
+ CALCULON
184
+ I've been processing this for some
185
+ time, Monique, and well, will you marry
186
+ me?
187
+
188
+
189
+ MONIQUE
190
+ Oh, Calculon! It fits! Then you must
191
+ know that I'm --
192
+
193
+
194
+ CALCULON
195
+ Metric? I've always known. But for
196
+ you, my darling, I'm willing to convert.
197
+
198
+
199
+
200
+ [They kiss again. Another robot watches them from the bushes.]
201
+
202
+
203
+
204
+ FRY
205
+ Hmm, must be a friend of theirs.
206
+
207
+
208
+ [Enter Leela and Bender.]
209
+
210
+
211
+ BENDER
212
+ Fry, we've got to discuss your living
213
+ arrangements.
214
+
215
+
216
+ LEELA
217
+ We've all talked it over and --
218
+
219
+
220
+ BENDER
221
+ Hey, All My Circuits! Move over. Ahh!
222
+
223
+
224
+
225
+ LEELA
226
+ Fry, sometimes in close quarters, people
227
+ do inconsiderate things without realising
228
+ it.
229
+
230
+
231
+ FRY
232
+ I know but I forgive you.
233
+
234
+
235
+ LEELA
236
+ No, Fry, by "close quarters" I mean
237
+ this office...
238
+
239
+
240
+ FRY
241
+ Uh-huh.
242
+
243
+
244
+ LEELA
245
+ ...and by "people" I mean you!
246
+
247
+
248
+ FRY
249
+ Right.
250
+
251
+
252
+ LEELA
253
+ And by "inconsiderate" I mean --
254
+
255
+
256
+ FRY
257
+ Leela! We're trying to watch TV.
258
+
259
+
260
+ BENDER
261
+ Yeah, would you kindly shut your noise
262
+ hole?
263
+
264
+
265
+ [She sighs and walks out.]
266
+
267
+
268
+ FRY
269
+ So, who's that weird-looking guy?
270
+
271
+
272
+ BENDER
273
+ That's a human.
274
+
275
+
276
+ FRY
277
+ What's he do?
278
+
279
+
280
+ BENDER
281
+ Eh, the usual human stuff. He laughs,
282
+ he learns, he loves.
283
+
284
+
285
+ FRY
286
+ Boring!
287
+
288
+
289
+ [On the TV a door opens and Calculon walks in.]
290
+
291
+
292
+ HUMAN FRIEND
293
+ Calculon? I thought you were in a coma.
294
+
295
+
296
+
297
+ CALCULON
298
+ That's what I wanted you to think with
299
+ your soft, human brain.
300
+
301
+
302
+ [From Fry's point of view, the corner of the room starts getting
303
+ further away.]
304
+
305
+
306
+ FRY
307
+ Hey, uh, why is the TV getting smaller?
308
+
309
+
310
+
311
+ [Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg, Farnsworth and Leela are pushing the
312
+ couch out of the room with Fry and Bender still on it.]
313
+
314
+
315
+ [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. They toss Fry, Bender and the
316
+ couch outside the front door and go back inside.]
317
+
318
+
319
+ HERMES
320
+ We'll bill you for the couch.
321
+
322
+
323
+ [Food-O-Mat. A small caf� where customers sit at tables and select
324
+ their food from a conveyor belt as it passes them.]
325
+
326
+
327
+ BENDER
328
+ Cheer up, meatbag, you've barely touched
329
+ your amoeba.
330
+
331
+
332
+ FRY
333
+ It looked good but I just don't feel
334
+ like eating. You want it?
335
+
336
+
337
+ BENDER
338
+ Nah, I'm trying to watch my input. I
339
+ need plenty of wholesome, nutritious
340
+ alcohol. The chemical energy keeps
341
+ my fuel cells charged.
342
+
343
+
344
+ [He lights a cigar.]
345
+
346
+
347
+ FRY
348
+ What are the cigars for?
349
+
350
+
351
+ BENDER
352
+ They make me look cool.
353
+
354
+
355
+ [Fry sighs.]
356
+
357
+
358
+ FRY
359
+ I can't believe they threw me out like
360
+ that. I must have been really acting
361
+ like a jerk.
362
+
363
+
364
+ BENDER
365
+ Yeah, but everybody's a jerk. You, me,
366
+ this jerk. That's my philosophy. So,
367
+ where you gonna stay?
368
+
369
+
370
+ FRY
371
+ I don't know. Do refrigerators still
372
+ come in cardboard boxes?
373
+
374
+
375
+ BENDER
376
+ Yeah, but the rents are outrageous.
377
+ Why don't you just come move in with
378
+ me?
379
+
380
+
381
+ FRY
382
+ Really? That'd be great! You sure I
383
+ won't be imposing?
384
+
385
+
386
+ BENDER
387
+ Nah, I've always wanted a pet.
388
+
389
+
390
+ [Robot Arms Apartments Corridor. The building is a dark, run
391
+ down place. The corridor is lined with blue doors with not much
392
+ space between them and the apartment numbers are in binary.]
393
+
394
+
395
+
396
+ BENDER
397
+ Here we are. Your new home.
398
+
399
+
400
+ FRY
401
+ Cool! Y'know, I've never even seen a
402
+ robot's apartment before.
403
+
404
+
405
+ BENDER
406
+ Come on in, I'll give you the tour!
407
+
408
+
409
+
410
+ [Cut to: Bender's Apartment. He unlocks the door, walks in, and
411
+ turns on the light. Fry follows. He is not impressed. It's a
412
+ very tight squeeze.]
413
+
414
+
415
+ BENDER
416
+ Let's see, where to start. OK, this
417
+ is the TV area, that over there's the
418
+ breakfast nook, and over here is where
419
+ you'll be living which is great because,
420
+ until now, it's just been wasted space.
421
+
422
+
423
+
424
+ FRY
425
+ It's kinda cramped in here. I don't
426
+ even have room to hang my clothes.
427
+
428
+
429
+
430
+ BENDER
431
+ Look, pal, you've only got one set of
432
+ clothes and you're not taking them off
433
+ while I'm here. Well, I'm bushed. G'night.
434
+
435
+
436
+
437
+ [He turns the light off and goes to sleep.]
438
+
439
+
440
+ FRY
441
+ Wait, Bender. Bender?
442
+
443
+
444
+ BENDER
445
+ (sleep-talking) Kill all humans...kill
446
+ all humans...must kill all the humans.
447
+
448
+
449
+
450
+ FRY
451
+ Bender, wake up!
452
+
453
+
454
+ [He wakes up and yawns.]
455
+
456
+
457
+ BENDER
458
+ I was having the most wonderful dream.
459
+ I think you were in it.
460
+
461
+
462
+ FRY
463
+ Uh, listen, Bender, uh, where's your
464
+ bathroom?
465
+
466
+
467
+ BENDER
468
+ Bath what?
469
+
470
+
471
+ FRY
472
+ Bathroom.
473
+
474
+
475
+ BENDER
476
+ What room?
477
+
478
+
479
+ FRY
480
+ Bathroom!
481
+
482
+
483
+ BENDER
484
+ What what?
485
+
486
+
487
+ FRY
488
+ Ah, never mind!
489
+
490
+
491
+ [He sits down and tries to curl up on the floor.]
492
+
493
+
494
+ BENDER
495
+ (sleep-talking) Hey, sexy mama...wanna
496
+ kill all the humans?
497
+
498
+
499
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. Leela and Amy are working on the ships
500
+ port wing. Bender walks past whistling.]
501
+
502
+
503
+ LEELA
504
+ We sure are cheerful this morning.
505
+
506
+
507
+
508
+ BENDER
509
+ Yeah, this past week with Fry's been
510
+ a blast! Y'know, beneath this warm,
511
+ sunny exterior, beats the cold, mechanical
512
+ heart of a robot.
513
+
514
+
515
+ [Bender walks off, whistling. Fry comes in with a twisted neck.]
516
+
517
+
518
+
519
+ LEELA
520
+ What happened to you?
521
+
522
+
523
+ FRY
524
+ Oh, it's Bender's apartment. He put
525
+ in carpeting yesterday so now my head
526
+ hits the ceiling. Hey, do you realise
527
+ you're standing at a weird angle? Now
528
+ you're OK.
529
+
530
+
531
+ LEELA
532
+ Look at yourself. You're a wreck! You've
533
+ got to find a new place to live.
534
+
535
+
536
+ FRY
537
+ (sexily) Is that an invitation?
538
+
539
+
540
+ LEELA
541
+ Love your optimism, Fry. But seriously,
542
+ you've got to tell Bender you're moving
543
+ out.
544
+
545
+
546
+ FRY
547
+ Yeah, but he might get kind of upset.
548
+ I don't think I can do that to him.
549
+
550
+
551
+
552
+ [Bender comes back.]
553
+
554
+
555
+ BENDER
556
+ Hey, there's my little space heater.
557
+
558
+
559
+
560
+ [Fry fakes a laugh. Bender laughs for real. Fry fakes another
561
+ laugh and then sighs.]
562
+
563
+
564
+ FRY
565
+ Well, I'm moving out!
566
+
567
+
568
+ [Bender laughs then realises what Fry has said.]
569
+
570
+
571
+ BENDER
572
+ What?!
573
+
574
+
575
+ FRY
576
+ I'm sorry, Bender, but there's just
577
+ not enough room.
578
+
579
+
580
+ BENDER
581
+ Not enough room? My place is two cubic
582
+ metres and we only take up 1.5 cubic
583
+ metres. We've got room for a whole nother
584
+ two-thirds of a person.
585
+
586
+
587
+ LEELA
588
+ What if I just helped the two of you
589
+ find a bigger apartment?
590
+
591
+
592
+ BENDER
593
+ I don't know. I've got a lot of great
594
+ memories in my old place. And now they're
595
+ gone.
596
+
597
+
598
+ [Underwater Apartment.]
599
+
600
+
601
+ LANDLORD #1
602
+ Sure, it ain't one of them la-de-da
603
+ above-ground places. But if you like
604
+ dank, hey, forget about it!
605
+
606
+
607
+ LEELA
608
+ At least it's got a great view.
609
+
610
+
611
+ [A giant squid swims up to the window. Fry, Bender and Leela
612
+ scream.]
613
+
614
+
615
+ BENDER
616
+ What the?
617
+
618
+
619
+ [The squids tentacles come through the floor and walls. The landlord
620
+ takes a knife out of his boot.]
621
+
622
+
623
+ LANDLORD #1
624
+ Excuse me, I gotta go change a lightbulb.
625
+
626
+
627
+
628
+ [He takes out a knife, puts it between his teeth and walks out.]
629
+
630
+
631
+
632
+ [Surreal Apartment.]
633
+
634
+
635
+ LEELA
636
+ Wow! Now this is fantastic!
637
+
638
+
639
+ [The apartment is built in the style of the Escher picture Relativity.]
640
+
641
+
642
+
643
+ FRY
644
+ Hmm, I'm not sure we want to pay for
645
+ a dimension we're not going to use.
646
+
647
+
648
+
649
+ [Bender suddenly falls down the stairs, up the stairs, across
650
+ the stairs...]
651
+
652
+
653
+ [Suspiciously Fantastic Apartment.]
654
+
655
+
656
+ FRY
657
+ Well, I give up. What's the catch?
658
+
659
+
660
+
661
+ LANDLORD #3
662
+ Oh, no catch. Although we are technically
663
+ in New Jersey.
664
+
665
+
666
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Fry, Bender and Leela sit around the
667
+ table.]
668
+
669
+
670
+ FRY
671
+ Not one place even remotely liveable.
672
+
673
+
674
+
675
+ [Farnsworth walks past talking on the phone.]
676
+
677
+
678
+ FARNSWORTH
679
+ Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly...?
680
+ To shreds, you say. Well, how is his
681
+ wife holding up...? To shreds, you say.
682
+ Very well then. Sad, sad, terrible,
683
+ gruesome news about my colleague, Dr.
684
+ Mobootu.
685
+
686
+
687
+ LEELA
688
+ Was his apartment rent-controlled?
689
+
690
+
691
+
692
+ [Apartment. It's a really big apartment with a view and an upper
693
+ floor. The landlady is an old woman named Hattie. She is short,
694
+ wears a pink dressing gown and has a lazy eye. She shows the
695
+ new tenants around.]
696
+
697
+
698
+ LEELA
699
+ Wow, this is beautiful.
700
+
701
+
702
+ BENDER
703
+ What's with all the crap?
704
+
705
+
706
+ LEELA
707
+ It's not crap.
708
+
709
+
710
+ HATTIE
711
+ Dr. Mobootu collected this crap while
712
+ he was exploring the watcha-call-it...universe!
713
+
714
+
715
+
716
+ FRY
717
+ Well, this place has everything except
718
+ the only thing I care about: A TV.
719
+
720
+
721
+
722
+ HATTIE
723
+ It's got a TV, you young watcha-call-it...idiot!
724
+
725
+
726
+
727
+ [She pulls a rope and a tapestry goes up, revealing a very big
728
+ TV.]
729
+
730
+
731
+ FRY
732
+ Ooh!
733
+
734
+
735
+ BENDER
736
+ Whoa, slow down! This place just doesn't
737
+ feel like home. It just isn't...cosy.
738
+ Ahh, I can barely move. It's perfect!
739
+
740
+
741
+
742
+ [Montage Scene. Fry and Bender clear out all the crap from the
743
+ apartment to the theme of The Odd Couple. Fry sweeps a load of
744
+ junk off a shelf into a bag then replaces a Slurm poster with
745
+ a poster of a woman in a bikini and Bender hangs up a poster
746
+ of a topless robot next to it. Fry and Bender both smoke a cigar.
747
+ Fry puts an old chair in a bag, Bender stamps it down and Fry
748
+ uses it as a beanbag. Bender puts a signed (and obviously stolen)
749
+ photo of Calculon on a shelf. Bender and Fry look around, satisfied.]
750
+
751
+
752
+
753
+ FRY
754
+ Man, it's a total sty! For the first
755
+ time in a thousand years, I feel like
756
+ I'm home.
757
+
758
+
759
+ BENDER
760
+ Yeah! It's gonna be fun on the bun!
761
+ Y'know Fry, of all the friends I've
762
+ had, you're the first.
763
+
764
+
765
+ [Time Lapse. Later that night the Planet Express staff are arriving
766
+ at the apartment. The doorbell rings, Fry answers it.]
767
+
768
+
769
+ HERMES
770
+ Hey, mon!
771
+
772
+
773
+ [Zoidberg walks in an burbles something.]
774
+
775
+
776
+ LEELA
777
+ Happy housewarming, Fry! It's a miniature
778
+ fruit salad tree.
779
+
780
+
781
+ FRY
782
+ Ooh! Hey, Amy!
783
+
784
+
785
+ AMY
786
+ Hey!
787
+
788
+
789
+ FARNSWORTH
790
+ This is for you, Fry Zevulon the Great.
791
+ He's teriyaki style.
792
+
793
+
794
+ [Time Lapse. Bender lies on the beanbag and guzzles down a can
795
+ of beer. He tosses the empty can on a huge pile of cans.]
796
+
797
+
798
+ BENDER
799
+ Wow, heavy drinking crowd! I'd better
800
+ go out for more beer.
801
+
802
+
803
+ FRY
804
+ Hey, hang on, All My Circuits is about
805
+ to start!
806
+
807
+
808
+ BENDER
809
+ I know, but I need alcohol to power
810
+ up my batteries. If Calculon's wedding
811
+ doesn't go just right I'll be emotionally
812
+ and electrically drained.
813
+
814
+
815
+ [He leaves. Fry turns on the TV but all that's on is static.
816
+ He nudges the screen and All My Circuits comes on. He thumbs-ups.]
817
+
818
+
819
+
820
+ FRY
821
+ Hey!
822
+
823
+
824
+ [Zoidberg passes around crab claws on a plate.]
825
+
826
+
827
+ HERMES
828
+ These are mighty tasty!
829
+
830
+
831
+ ZOIDBERG
832
+ Thank you, I made them myself.
833
+
834
+
835
+ [Hermes chokes and spits the claws out.]
836
+
837
+
838
+ FRY
839
+ Shh, the wedding's about to start!
840
+
841
+
842
+
843
+ PRIESTBOT
844
+ If anyone here objects to this union,
845
+ let them speak now or forever hold their
846
+ --
847
+
848
+
849
+ [He is interrupted by some beeping. It is the same robot that
850
+ was in the bushes when Calculon proposed.]
851
+
852
+
853
+ FRY
854
+ Is he objecting or backing up?
855
+
856
+
857
+ AMY
858
+ Looks like both.
859
+
860
+
861
+ CALCULON
862
+ I'm afraid my half-brother is correct.
863
+ You see, I have a terrible secret and
864
+ that secret is --
865
+
866
+
867
+ [Bender walks in and the picture cuts to static. Everyone groans.]
868
+
869
+
870
+
871
+ AMY
872
+ Oh, this isn't right.
873
+
874
+
875
+ HERMES
876
+ Oh, come on!
877
+
878
+
879
+ FARNSWORTH
880
+ Fix it!
881
+
882
+
883
+ [Fry bangs his fist against the screen and Bender comes back
884
+ in with beer.]
885
+
886
+
887
+ BENDER
888
+ Hey what happened to the TV?
889
+
890
+
891
+ FRY
892
+ It just went out.
893
+
894
+
895
+ BENDER
896
+ This is an outrage! I'm gonna go yell
897
+ at the manager!
898
+
899
+
900
+ [He storms out and the TV comes back on. Everyone cheers.]
901
+
902
+
903
+ HERMES
904
+ Alright!
905
+
906
+
907
+ FRY
908
+ (shouting) Come back, Bender, its working!
909
+
910
+
911
+
912
+ CALCULON
913
+ To reiterate, my terrible secret is
914
+ --
915
+
916
+
917
+ [Bender comes back in and the TV cuts out again. Everyone groans.]
918
+
919
+
920
+
921
+ FRY
922
+ It's out again.
923
+
924
+
925
+ BENDER
926
+ What? That's the last straw!
927
+
928
+
929
+ FRY
930
+ It's back on!
931
+
932
+
933
+ [Bender comes back in with Hattie and the TV goes out once again.
934
+ Everyone groans.]
935
+
936
+
937
+ HATTIE
938
+ Pardon me. I don't mean to pry into
939
+ what you're doing in here with the crab
940
+ and the one-eyed lady and the Chinese
941
+ girl but everyone on this floor is having
942
+ trouble with their TV reception.
943
+
944
+
945
+ BENDER
946
+ Yeah! And you'd better get rid of whatever's
947
+ causing it or we're outta this dump!
948
+
949
+
950
+
951
+ HATTIE
952
+ Relax, sonny. This kajigger'll find
953
+ the source of the interference.
954
+
955
+
956
+ [She points a thing around the apartment and it beeps slowly.
957
+ She points it at Bender's antenna and it beeps faster. The other
958
+ tenants come in, complaining about their TV's. Hattie points
959
+ the thing at Bender's antenna again.]
960
+
961
+
962
+ TENANT #1
963
+ What's going on?
964
+
965
+
966
+ TENANT #2
967
+ We want our TV back!
968
+
969
+
970
+ HATTIE
971
+ There's your problem.
972
+
973
+
974
+ AMY
975
+ Oh, my God, Bender, it's your thingy!
976
+
977
+
978
+
979
+ RANDY
980
+ Then get rid of it!
981
+
982
+
983
+ TENANT #1
984
+ Get out!
985
+
986
+
987
+ BENDER
988
+ You people are nuts. My antenna never
989
+ interfered with my old TV.
990
+
991
+
992
+ LEELA
993
+ You had cable. This is satellite.
994
+
995
+
996
+ FARNSWORTH
997
+ Obviously your thoughts are being transmitted
998
+ on the same frequency.
999
+
1000
+
1001
+ TENANT #2
1002
+ They're on my cell phone too.
1003
+
1004
+
1005
+ BENDER
1006
+ Madam, I believe you're mistaken!
1007
+
1008
+
1009
+ [She turns her phone on. Bender's thoughts are indeed on it.]
1010
+
1011
+
1012
+
1013
+ BENDER
1014
+ Wow, that lady's got a huge ass!
1015
+
1016
+
1017
+ BENDER
1018
+ Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat
1019
+ ass!
1020
+
1021
+
1022
+ RANDY
1023
+ The robot has to go!
1024
+
1025
+
1026
+ TENANT #1
1027
+ Yeah.
1028
+
1029
+
1030
+ TENANT #3
1031
+ Get him out of here!
1032
+
1033
+
1034
+ HATTIE
1035
+ Well, you heard the mob!
1036
+
1037
+
1038
+ BENDER
1039
+ Fine! Come on, Fry, let's move to that
1040
+ apartment that smelled like a sewer.
1041
+ You liked that one, right?
1042
+
1043
+
1044
+ FRY
1045
+ It's tempting, but, well, I am already
1046
+ kinda settled in here.
1047
+
1048
+
1049
+ BENDER
1050
+ Or we could live underground with the
1051
+ mutants. A little fire'll show 'em who's
1052
+ boss!
1053
+
1054
+
1055
+ FRY
1056
+ Uh, listen, is there maybe some way
1057
+ we could do this with you going and
1058
+ me not going?
1059
+
1060
+
1061
+ BENDER
1062
+ I don't understand.
1063
+
1064
+
1065
+ FRY
1066
+ Well, you were gonna live in the closet
1067
+ anyway. Won't you be just as happy back
1068
+ in your old place?
1069
+
1070
+
1071
+ BENDER
1072
+ But, then we wouldn't be roommates.
1073
+
1074
+
1075
+
1076
+ FRY
1077
+ I'll come visit sometime. And you can
1078
+ visit me here.
1079
+
1080
+
1081
+ HATTIE
1082
+ No he can't.
1083
+
1084
+
1085
+ FRY
1086
+ Anyway, I'm sure it'll work out. This
1087
+ way we'll both be happy.
1088
+
1089
+
1090
+ BENDER
1091
+ (downbeat) Happy. Yeah, that's Bender.
1092
+ Always happy.
1093
+
1094
+
1095
+ [Bender walks out of the room and down the corridor.]
1096
+
1097
+
1098
+ RANDY
1099
+ Hey, the TV's back on!
1100
+
1101
+
1102
+ PRIESTBOT
1103
+ We are gathered here to mourn the death
1104
+ of Calculon; Industrialist, private
1105
+ eye, friend.
1106
+
1107
+
1108
+ CALCULON
1109
+ Mind if I give the eulogy?
1110
+
1111
+
1112
+ [Monique gasps.]
1113
+
1114
+
1115
+ MONIQUE
1116
+ Calculon! You're alive!
1117
+
1118
+
1119
+ [Everyone cheers on the TV and in the apartment.]
1120
+
1121
+
1122
+ RANDY
1123
+ Calculon's back!
1124
+
1125
+
1126
+ [Time Lapse. Everyone is beginning to leave.]
1127
+
1128
+
1129
+ FARNSWORTH
1130
+ Right, so long.
1131
+
1132
+
1133
+ ZOIDBERG
1134
+ Goodbye.
1135
+
1136
+
1137
+ AMY
1138
+ (crying) Do you think Calculon's evil
1139
+ twin will ever walk again?
1140
+
1141
+
1142
+ HERMES
1143
+ I don't know, Amy. I just don't know.
1144
+
1145
+
1146
+
1147
+ [Amy slips over again.]
1148
+
1149
+
1150
+ FRY
1151
+ Hey, thanks for coming.
1152
+
1153
+
1154
+ [He closes the door but Leela puts her elbow in it and forces
1155
+ it back open.]
1156
+
1157
+
1158
+ LEELA
1159
+ Fry, you're Bender's best friend. How
1160
+ could you let that mob kick him out?
1161
+
1162
+
1163
+
1164
+ FRY
1165
+ Ah, come on. Bender loves mobs.
1166
+
1167
+
1168
+ LEELA
1169
+ Only when he's in them and you know
1170
+ it. You really hurt his feelings.
1171
+
1172
+
1173
+
1174
+ FRY
1175
+ Don't girl me with that girl stuff.
1176
+ Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have
1177
+ feelings.
1178
+
1179
+
1180
+ LEELA
1181
+ Bender's not a guy, he's a robot.
1182
+
1183
+
1184
+ FRY
1185
+ Same thing.
1186
+
1187
+
1188
+ [Robot Arms Apartments Corridor. Bender opens his apartment door
1189
+ and looks in.]
1190
+
1191
+
1192
+ BENDER
1193
+ It's so big and empty.
1194
+
1195
+
1196
+ [He goes in and closes the door.]
1197
+
1198
+
1199
+ [Cut to: Bender's Apartment.]
1200
+
1201
+
1202
+ BENDER
1203
+ My roommate's gone. And all he left
1204
+ behind was an eyelash and three skin
1205
+ flakes. Oh, what's the point?!
1206
+
1207
+
1208
+ [He throws the bottle down and it smashes.]
1209
+
1210
+
1211
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. Leela is fixing the ship with laser
1212
+ fuel. She sees Bender walk into the conference room. He has orange
1213
+ rust around his mouth and his door is flapping open.]
1214
+
1215
+
1216
+ LEELA
1217
+ Bender? My God, you're a mess!
1218
+
1219
+
1220
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender groans and falls onto
1221
+ the couch. Leela follows him in.]
1222
+
1223
+
1224
+ BENDER
1225
+ Leave me alone!
1226
+
1227
+
1228
+ LEELA
1229
+ Look at that five o'clock rust. You've
1230
+ been up all night not drinking, haven't
1231
+ you?
1232
+
1233
+
1234
+ BENDER
1235
+ Hey. What I don't do is none of your
1236
+ business.
1237
+
1238
+
1239
+ LEELA
1240
+ Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor.
1241
+ If not for yourself then for the people
1242
+ who love you.
1243
+
1244
+
1245
+ BENDER
1246
+ I hate the people who love me and they
1247
+ hate me.
1248
+
1249
+
1250
+ LEELA
1251
+ Oh, now look. It's obvious you miss
1252
+ being Fry's roommate. But there's got
1253
+ to be a better way to deal with this.
1254
+
1255
+
1256
+
1257
+ BENDER
1258
+ Like how? Having my antenna removed?
1259
+
1260
+
1261
+
1262
+ LEELA
1263
+ Well, if that would work.
1264
+
1265
+
1266
+ BENDER
1267
+ Are you crazy? That's Little Bender
1268
+ you're talking about. I can't cut it
1269
+ off. You're not a robot or a man so
1270
+ you wouldn't understand. I gotta get
1271
+ out of here.
1272
+
1273
+
1274
+ LEELA
1275
+ Wait! I want you to look me in the eye
1276
+ and promise you won't get behind the
1277
+ wheel without some kind of alcoholic
1278
+ beverage in your hand.
1279
+
1280
+
1281
+ BENDER
1282
+ I promise nothing!
1283
+
1284
+
1285
+ [He runs out.]
1286
+
1287
+
1288
+ [Bender is walking down a street drunk � la The Lost Weekend
1289
+ and he finally ends up in an alleyway lying on his back, leaking
1290
+ oil from under his arm. He sees his reflection in the pool of
1291
+ oil and hits it.]
1292
+
1293
+
1294
+ [Apartment. Fry opens the door. Leela is there.]
1295
+
1296
+
1297
+ FRY
1298
+ What up?
1299
+
1300
+
1301
+ LEELA
1302
+ I can't just stand by and be silent
1303
+ about Bender anymore.
1304
+
1305
+
1306
+ FRY
1307
+ Silent? You've been meddling for two
1308
+ solid weeks.
1309
+
1310
+
1311
+ LEELA
1312
+ Well I can't just do that anymore. Your
1313
+ best friend is out there somewhere destroying
1314
+ himself.
1315
+
1316
+
1317
+ FRY
1318
+ Really? I didn't think he'd miss this
1319
+ apartment that much.
1320
+
1321
+
1322
+ LEELA
1323
+ He doesn't care about the apartment,
1324
+ he cares about you. And you turned your
1325
+ back on him.
1326
+
1327
+
1328
+ FRY
1329
+ Oh, man. I had no idea. If only I knew
1330
+ where he was I'd go talk to him.
1331
+
1332
+
1333
+ [The TV cuts out.]
1334
+
1335
+
1336
+ FRY
1337
+ Oh, stupid TV! Bender! You're blind
1338
+ stinking sober!
1339
+
1340
+
1341
+ BENDER
1342
+ That's right! I'm sober and crazy and
1343
+ I don't know what I might do!
1344
+
1345
+
1346
+ FRY
1347
+ Don't do it!
1348
+
1349
+
1350
+ BENDER
1351
+ I don't know what it is yet. Oh, yeah,
1352
+ now I remember. I thought I could live
1353
+ alone, but I can't. So, I'm gonna do
1354
+ what it takes to be your roommate again.
1355
+
1356
+
1357
+
1358
+ [He takes a pair of clippers out of his chest cabinet.]
1359
+
1360
+
1361
+ LEELA
1362
+ Bender! Stop!
1363
+
1364
+
1365
+ FRY
1366
+ Cutting Leela's head off won't solve
1367
+ anything!
1368
+
1369
+
1370
+ BENDER
1371
+ No, I'm going to chop off my antenna.
1372
+
1373
+
1374
+
1375
+ FRY
1376
+ Hey, yeah! That sounds good. Can I give
1377
+ you a hand?
1378
+
1379
+
1380
+ LEELA
1381
+ Fry, don't help him mutilate himself.
1382
+
1383
+
1384
+
1385
+ FRY
1386
+ But it's a useless antenna. It's not
1387
+ like he's a ham radio or something.
1388
+
1389
+
1390
+
1391
+ BENDER
1392
+ I'm gonna do it! I'm really gonna do
1393
+ it! Don't try and stop me! Here goes.
1394
+
1395
+
1396
+
1397
+ [Fry smiles. He sighs, cuts it off and throws it out the window.
1398
+ The TV comes back on. Calculon is with Human Friend who is in
1399
+ a hospital bed.]
1400
+
1401
+
1402
+ FRY
1403
+ Hey, it works! The static's gone.
1404
+
1405
+
1406
+ HUMAN FRIEND
1407
+ I hate that this came between us, Calculon.
1408
+
1409
+
1410
+
1411
+ CALCULON
1412
+ Me too. I'm filled with a large number
1413
+ of powerful emotions.
1414
+
1415
+
1416
+ HUMAN FRIEND
1417
+ You're my best friend. I'm sorry I
1418
+ treated you so badly.
1419
+
1420
+
1421
+ CALCULON
1422
+ Apology accepted. After all, you're
1423
+ only human.
1424
+
1425
+
1426
+ [They hug.]
1427
+
1428
+
1429
+ LEELA
1430
+ You guys could learn a lesson from those
1431
+ two.
1432
+
1433
+
1434
+ FRY
1435
+ She's right.
1436
+
1437
+
1438
+ BENDER
1439
+ You're my best friend, Fry, I'm sorry
1440
+ I treated you so badly.
1441
+
1442
+
1443
+ FRY
1444
+ Apology accepted. After all, you're
1445
+ only human.
1446
+
1447
+
1448
+ [They hug.]
1449
+
1450
+
1451
+ LEELA
1452
+ Wait a minute! You did it all backwards.
1453
+ Fry's the one who should be......Oh,
1454
+ never mind!
1455
+
1456
+
1457
+ [Fry and Bender laugh. Bender looks in the mirror and sighs.]
1458
+
1459
+
1460
+
1461
+ FRY
1462
+ What's wrong?
1463
+
1464
+
1465
+ BENDER
1466
+ Nothing. I guess I'm just going to have
1467
+ to get used to being half a robot.
1468
+
1469
+
1470
+
1471
+ FRY
1472
+ Aww, this isn't right. Listen, Bender,
1473
+ if we found your antenna could they
1474
+ still reattach it?
1475
+
1476
+
1477
+ BENDER
1478
+ Maybe. If we get it on ice right away.
1479
+
1480
+
1481
+
1482
+ [Outside Apartment Building. Fry, Bender, Smitty and URL search
1483
+ for the antenna.]
1484
+
1485
+
1486
+ SMITTY
1487
+ Bingo!
1488
+
1489
+
1490
+ [He holds up the antenna.]
1491
+
1492
+
1493
+ URL
1494
+ You call that an antenna?
1495
+
1496
+
1497
+ [Robot Arms Apartments Corridor. Fry is holding his miniature
1498
+ fruit salad tree.]
1499
+
1500
+
1501
+ BENDER
1502
+ This time, you'll have all the human
1503
+ comfort. We'll get a couple of toilets,
1504
+ some food cookers, maybe a puppy.
1505
+
1506
+
1507
+
1508
+ [Cut to: Fry and Bender's Apartment.]
1509
+
1510
+
1511
+ FRY
1512
+ It's good to be home.
1513
+
1514
+
1515
+ BENDER
1516
+ It sure is. By the way, I saved your
1517
+ stuff.
1518
+
1519
+
1520
+ FRY
1521
+ So that's where those skin flakes went.
1522
+ Hmm, do you think this fruit tree's
1523
+ going to get enough light?
1524
+
1525
+
1526
+ BENDER
1527
+ There's a window in the closet.
1528
+
1529
+
1530
+ [He pushes a button and a door swings open to reveal a huge living
1531
+ space. Fry walks into it.]
1532
+
1533
+
1534
+ FRY
1535
+ This is huge! Bender, why don't I just
1536
+ live in here?
1537
+
1538
+
1539
+ BENDER
1540
+ In a closet? Oh, humans!
1541
+
1542
+
1543
+ THE END
content/my_data/s1e4.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1753 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ FUTURAMA
2
+
3
+ Episode 104
4
+
5
+ "LOVE'S LABOURS LOST IN SPACE"
6
+
7
+ By
8
+
9
+ Brian Kelley
10
+
11
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
12
+
13
+
14
+
15
+ [Restaurant. Leela is sat at a table with a date, a man called
16
+ Doug.]
17
+
18
+
19
+ LEELA
20
+ This place was a great choice. The food
21
+ is amazing. And such generous portions.
22
+
23
+
24
+
25
+ DOUG
26
+ You like the meal just wait until you
27
+ try these after dinner mints.
28
+
29
+
30
+ LEELA
31
+ You know, Doug, most guys are put off
32
+ by my eye. It's nice to finally meet
33
+ someone who's open-minded. Ew!
34
+
35
+
36
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: presented in BC [Brain Control] where
37
+ available.]
38
+
39
+
40
+ [Planet Express: Kitchen. Amy, Leela and Fry stand around drinking
41
+ coffee.]
42
+
43
+
44
+ FRY
45
+ What was wrong with your date last night?
46
+
47
+
48
+
49
+ LEELA
50
+ I don't know. Something I couldn�t quite
51
+ put my finger on. Possibly his vile
52
+ lizard tongue.
53
+
54
+
55
+ AMY
56
+ You're too picky.
57
+
58
+
59
+ FRY
60
+ Yeah. If you rule out every guy with
61
+ a lizard tongue or a low I.Q. or an
62
+ explosive violent temper, of course
63
+ you're gonna be lonely.
64
+
65
+
66
+ LEELA
67
+ There's nothing wrong with having high
68
+ standards. Now can we please stop --
69
+
70
+
71
+
72
+ [Cut to: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Amy, Fry and Leela walk
73
+ in. The others are sitting around the table.]
74
+
75
+
76
+ ZOIDBERG
77
+ The female Leela's problem is purely
78
+ medical. Soon she will drop her eggs
79
+ and they will hatch and all will be
80
+ well.
81
+
82
+
83
+ [Amy, Leela and Fry sit down.]
84
+
85
+
86
+ AMY
87
+ You just have to give guys a chance.
88
+ Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's
89
+ a pig. But then later you realise he
90
+ actually has a really good body.
91
+
92
+
93
+ LEELA
94
+ Thank you all for the inspiring advice,
95
+ but I'm perfectly happy with my life
96
+ the way it is.
97
+
98
+
99
+ BENDER
100
+ That sounds like a cry for help.
101
+
102
+
103
+ AMY
104
+ Let's all take her out tonight. There's
105
+ lots of great places to meet people.
106
+
107
+
108
+
109
+ HERMES
110
+ The Federal Sex Bureau.
111
+
112
+
113
+ BENDER
114
+ A saucy puppet show.
115
+
116
+
117
+ ZOIDBERG
118
+ The rotting carcass of a whale.
119
+
120
+
121
+ AMY
122
+ Hmm, I'll pick!
123
+
124
+
125
+ [The Hip Joint. A nightclub on Jetsons-esque stilts with hovering
126
+ platforms and strobe lighting. Everyone except Fry is wearing
127
+ outfits with grooby rings.]
128
+
129
+
130
+ AMY
131
+ Oh, wow, it's totally retro.
132
+
133
+
134
+ FRY
135
+ Why's everyone wearing those rings?
136
+
137
+
138
+
139
+ AMY
140
+ Guh! Because nobody wears them anymore!
141
+ Rings are stupid!
142
+
143
+
144
+ FRY
145
+ I think they look cool.
146
+
147
+
148
+ AMY
149
+ Shh! Don't let anyone hear you say that!
150
+
151
+
152
+
153
+ MAN
154
+ Hey, did that guy just say rings are
155
+ cool?
156
+
157
+
158
+ AMY
159
+ Nope, he said they're stupid.
160
+
161
+
162
+ [The man shows a thumbs up.]
163
+
164
+
165
+ MAN
166
+ Cool!
167
+
168
+
169
+ [Time Lapse. Leela, Amy and Bender are sat at a table with drinks.]
170
+
171
+
172
+
173
+ AMY
174
+ So what do you think of that guy by
175
+ the bar?
176
+
177
+
178
+ LEELA
179
+ I don't know. Maybe?
180
+
181
+
182
+ BENDER
183
+ Forget it, he's gay.
184
+
185
+
186
+ LEELA
187
+ What?! How can you tell?
188
+
189
+
190
+ BENDER
191
+ I just know these things. I've got what
192
+ they call gaydar.
193
+
194
+
195
+ LEELA
196
+ There's no such thing.
197
+
198
+
199
+ BENDER
200
+ No? OK, I got a lock on him. Yep!
201
+ He's gay!
202
+
203
+
204
+ AMY
205
+ Are you sure?
206
+
207
+
208
+ BENDER
209
+ Definitely. Unless I'm getting interference
210
+ from a gay weather balloon.
211
+
212
+
213
+ [Fry talks to a woman at the bar.]
214
+
215
+
216
+ WOMAN
217
+ You're from the 20th century? That's
218
+ incredible! I'm from the 21st century.
219
+
220
+
221
+
222
+ FRY
223
+ No way! We've got so much in common.
224
+
225
+
226
+
227
+ WOMAN
228
+ We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs
229
+ enslaved humanity?
230
+
231
+
232
+ FRY
233
+ Uh, yeah! That rings a bell.
234
+
235
+
236
+ [Back at the table, a well-built man has joined the others.]
237
+
238
+
239
+
240
+ AMY
241
+ This is Bolt Rolands. Bolt is a hyper-sled
242
+ racer with 10 wins on the pro circuit.
243
+
244
+
245
+
246
+ BOLT
247
+ Hello, beautiful!
248
+
249
+
250
+ BENDER
251
+ (whispering) I think she means 10 wins
252
+ on the gay circuit.
253
+
254
+
255
+ [Bolt chuckles.]
256
+
257
+
258
+ BOLT
259
+ I wish! Those cats can really fly.
260
+
261
+
262
+
263
+ [Zoidberg is sitting alone at the bar. He tries to pick up a
264
+ drink but his claws just knock the glass over. He folds his arms
265
+ and sulks. A lobster in a tank catches his eye and he stares
266
+ and smiles, lovestruck. At the table, a green cloud is hovering
267
+ where Bolt was.]
268
+
269
+
270
+ AMY
271
+ This is M-5438, an entity of pure energy.
272
+
273
+
274
+
275
+ LEELA
276
+ That's great - really - but he's just
277
+ not what I'm looking for.
278
+
279
+
280
+ M-5438
281
+ I understand. One day you will evolve
282
+ beyond your physical body, and on that
283
+ day I hope you will pick up the phone.
284
+
285
+
286
+
287
+ [He flies away. Amy sighs.]
288
+
289
+
290
+ AMY
291
+ You're impossible.
292
+
293
+
294
+ [Bender's gaydar beeps.]
295
+
296
+
297
+ BENDER
298
+ Just as well; I think he comes from
299
+ a dimension that's big on musical theatre.
300
+
301
+
302
+
303
+ [Outside The Hip Joint. Everyone is leaving: Amy with M-5438,
304
+ Zoidberg with the lobster and Fry with the 21st century woman.
305
+ Bender is already outside.]
306
+
307
+
308
+ FRY
309
+ Psst, I need the apartment tonight.
310
+ Go see a saucy puppet show.
311
+
312
+
313
+ [He hands Bender some cash.]
314
+
315
+
316
+ BENDER
317
+ Can do!
318
+
319
+
320
+ [The Hip Joint. Leela is the only person left in the room. A
321
+ janitor passes by her table, sweeping.]
322
+
323
+
324
+ JANITOR
325
+ My, my, my! What's a beautiful lady
326
+ like you -- Oh, my! Eurgh! I'm sorry,
327
+ I thought you had two eyes.
328
+
329
+
330
+ [He runs off.]
331
+
332
+
333
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. It's the next morning and everyone
334
+ is sat around the table drinking coffee.]
335
+
336
+
337
+ BENDER
338
+ So, Leela, you must have had your pick
339
+ of the litter last night at closing
340
+ time.
341
+
342
+
343
+ LEELA
344
+ Could you guys please stop talking about
345
+ my personal life?
346
+
347
+
348
+ FARNSWORTH
349
+ Yes, let's all talk about Leela's personal
350
+ life later. But right now we have business
351
+ to attend to.
352
+
353
+
354
+ FRY
355
+ A delivery?
356
+
357
+
358
+ FARNSWORTH
359
+ No. A tax-deductible mission of charity.
360
+
361
+
362
+
363
+ [He flicks a switch, the lights dim and a holographic image of
364
+ a planet is projected over the table.]
365
+
366
+
367
+ COMPUTER VOICE
368
+ This is Vergon 6.
369
+
370
+
371
+ FARNSWORTH
372
+ This is Vergon 6.
373
+
374
+
375
+ AMY
376
+ Buh!
377
+
378
+
379
+ FARNSWORTH
380
+ It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited
381
+ by a number of frisky little doomed
382
+ animals.
383
+
384
+
385
+ LEELA
386
+ Animals?
387
+
388
+
389
+ FARNSWORTH
390
+ That's right. Animals in desperate need
391
+ of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once
392
+ filled with a super dense substance
393
+ known as dark matter, each pound of
394
+ which weighs over ten thousand pounds.
395
+
396
+
397
+
398
+ [The holographic Vergon 6 is filled with a black sphere.]
399
+
400
+
401
+ LEELA
402
+ Wait! What about the animals?
403
+
404
+
405
+ FARNSWORTH
406
+ Well, dark matter is extremely valuable
407
+ as starship fuel. That's why it was
408
+ all mined out, leaving the planet completely
409
+ hollow.
410
+
411
+
412
+ [The holographic dark matter dwindles to nothing.]
413
+
414
+
415
+ LEELA
416
+ Yes, but what about the animals?
417
+
418
+
419
+ FARNSWORTH
420
+ The wha?
421
+
422
+
423
+ LEELA
424
+ The animals.
425
+
426
+
427
+ FARNSWORTH
428
+ I didn't say anything about animals.
429
+ Now it seems that the planet will collapse
430
+ within three days. Incidentally, this
431
+ will kill all the animals.
432
+
433
+
434
+ LEELA
435
+ So we have to bring back two of each
436
+ kind. Just like Noah's Ark.
437
+
438
+
439
+ BENDER
440
+ Why two? Oh!
441
+
442
+
443
+ [He giggles.]
444
+
445
+
446
+ [Ships Cockpit. The ship is en route to the planet. Bender and
447
+ Fry lean across the cockpit discussing things.]
448
+
449
+
450
+ FRY
451
+ I bet you Leela's holding out for a
452
+ nice guy with one eye.
453
+
454
+
455
+ BENDER
456
+ That'll take forever. What she oughta
457
+ do is find a nice guy with two eyes,
458
+ then poke one out.
459
+
460
+
461
+ FRY
462
+ Yeah, that'd be a timesaver.
463
+
464
+
465
+ [Leela is sat right behind them.]
466
+
467
+
468
+ LEELA
469
+ Do you mind?
470
+
471
+
472
+ BENDER
473
+ Here you go. You can use this as an
474
+ eye-poker.
475
+
476
+
477
+ LEELA
478
+ Thank you. But I don't care how many
479
+ eyes a man has - as long as it's less
480
+ than five. All I'm looking for is a
481
+ guy who's adventurous, self-confident...
482
+
483
+
484
+
485
+ [Cut to: Outside Ship. The ship flies on.]
486
+
487
+
488
+ LEELA
489
+ ...maybe a snappy dresser.
490
+
491
+
492
+ [As the ship flies away a larger ship - the Nimbus - flies over
493
+ the top.]
494
+
495
+
496
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge. The captain - Zapp Brannigan - stands
497
+ admiring himself while his first officer Kif seems to do all
498
+ the work. They both wear red uniforms. Kif is a spindly little
499
+ green alien and Zapp's physique is mostly made up of a huge,
500
+ poorly contained gut.]
501
+
502
+
503
+ ZAPP
504
+ These new uniforms are pretty snappy,
505
+ eh, first officer?
506
+
507
+
508
+ KIF
509
+ I suppose, captain. I'm as big a fan
510
+ of velour as you are. Now what do you
511
+ want to do about that unidentified ship?
512
+
513
+
514
+
515
+ [The Planet Express ship flies across the viewscreen.]
516
+
517
+
518
+ ZAPP
519
+ Destroy them! Mmm! That's got a nice
520
+ feel to it.
521
+
522
+
523
+ [Time Lapse.]
524
+
525
+
526
+ ZAPP
527
+ Captain's journal; star date 3000.3.
528
+
529
+
530
+
531
+ KIF
532
+ Who are you talking to, sir?
533
+
534
+
535
+ ZAPP
536
+ You! Aren't you getting this? We have
537
+ detected a vessel attempting to break
538
+ the security cordon around Vergon 6.
539
+ I'm anticipating an all-out tactical
540
+ dogfight, followed by a light dinner...ravioli,
541
+ ham, sundae bar.
542
+
543
+
544
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. The crew can see the Nimbus through the
545
+ windscreen.]
546
+
547
+
548
+ LEELA
549
+ Hey, look! That's Zapp Brannigan's ship.
550
+
551
+
552
+
553
+ FRY
554
+ Wow! The Zapp Brannigan?
555
+
556
+
557
+ LEELA
558
+ Uh-huh!
559
+
560
+
561
+ FRY
562
+ Who's the Zapp Brannigan?
563
+
564
+
565
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge. Zapp and Kif watch the ship approach.]
566
+
567
+
568
+
569
+ KIF
570
+ Shall I fire on them now, sir?
571
+
572
+
573
+ ZAPP
574
+ Not yet, Kif. In the game of chess,
575
+ you can never let your adversary see
576
+ your pieces. What?
577
+
578
+
579
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
580
+
581
+
582
+ LEELA
583
+ They say Zapp Brannigan single-handedly
584
+ saved the Octillian system from a horde
585
+ of rampaging Killbots.
586
+
587
+
588
+ FRY
589
+ Wow!
590
+
591
+
592
+ BENDER
593
+ A grim day for robot-kind. Ah, but we
594
+ can always build more Killbots!
595
+
596
+
597
+ LEELA
598
+ He's the most decorated captain in the
599
+ whole Democratic Order Of Planets.
600
+
601
+
602
+
603
+ FRY
604
+ (teasing) Leela's got a boyfriend!
605
+
606
+
607
+
608
+ LEELA
609
+ No I don't. But I think we ought to
610
+ meet with him and see if he'll help
611
+ us rescue those animals.
612
+
613
+
614
+ BENDER
615
+ Well just in case you guys hit it off
616
+ you'll wanna take this with you.
617
+
618
+
619
+ [He holds up the fork.]
620
+
621
+
622
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge.]
623
+
624
+
625
+ KIF
626
+ Sir, they're headed straight for us.
627
+
628
+
629
+
630
+ ZAPP
631
+ A well-calculated move straight out
632
+ of Sun Tzu's classic text The Art Of
633
+ War, or my own masterwork: Zapp Brannigan's
634
+ Big Book Of War. But the one thing
635
+ their captain doesn't realise and never
636
+ will is that --
637
+
638
+
639
+ KIF
640
+ Sir, they've docked with us and have
641
+ come aboard.
642
+
643
+
644
+ ZAPP
645
+ Then I have risked all and lost. Kif,
646
+ old man, I'll be in the escape pod.
647
+ If that wicker chair I like survives
648
+ the slaughter, have it sent to my P.O.
649
+ box.
650
+
651
+
652
+ [The door opens and the Planet Express crew walk in. Zapp screams
653
+ and hides behind a chair. Leela looks around and sees Kif.]
654
+
655
+
656
+
657
+ LEELA
658
+ Hello, I'm Leela, captain of the Planet
659
+ Express delivery ship. We've come aboard
660
+ to plead for your assistance.
661
+
662
+
663
+ KIF
664
+ Well, if there's anything --
665
+
666
+
667
+ [Zapp jumps in front of Kif.]
668
+
669
+
670
+ ZAPP
671
+ I'm in command here. Zapp Brannigan.
672
+ Has my fame preceded me or was I too
673
+ quick for you?
674
+
675
+
676
+ LEELA
677
+ Oh, not at all. I'm just so uh...really
678
+ thrilled to meet you!
679
+
680
+
681
+ ZAPP
682
+ You're an impressive piece of captain.
683
+ Beautiful and deadly - a potent combination.
684
+
685
+
686
+
687
+ LEELA
688
+ (flattered) You don't mean that!
689
+
690
+
691
+ ZAPP
692
+ But I do. I doubt I've seen more than
693
+ three or four captains sexier than you,
694
+ and only one who was deadlier.
695
+
696
+
697
+ [He takes her hand and Fry leans in.]
698
+
699
+
700
+ FRY
701
+ I heard that one time you single-handedly
702
+ defeated a horde of rampaging somethings
703
+ in the something something system.
704
+
705
+
706
+
707
+ ZAPP
708
+ The Killbots? A trifle! It was simply
709
+ a matter of outsmarting them.
710
+
711
+
712
+ FRY
713
+ Wow! I never would have thought of that!
714
+
715
+
716
+
717
+ ZAPP
718
+ You see, Killbots have a preset kill
719
+ limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent
720
+ wave after wave of my own men at them,
721
+ until they reached their limit and shutdown.
722
+ Kif, show them the medal I won.
723
+
724
+
725
+ [Kif sighs and points to a medal on Zapp's uniform.]
726
+
727
+
728
+ [Nimbus Mess Hall. Leela, Zapp, Fry and Bender sit at a table,
729
+ looking down at the rest of the crew who are eating. Kif is grating
730
+ cheese over Zapp's food.]
731
+
732
+
733
+ ZAPP
734
+ More, please. A little more...more...keep
735
+ going.
736
+
737
+
738
+ [He carries on.]
739
+
740
+
741
+ LEELA
742
+ Captain Brannigan, we really need to
743
+ talk to you about our mission.
744
+
745
+
746
+ ZAPP
747
+ Whatever it is, I'm willing to put wave
748
+ after wave of men at your disposal.
749
+ Right men?
750
+
751
+
752
+ [He raises his glass to the crew.]
753
+
754
+
755
+ CREWMAN
756
+ (shouting) You suck!
757
+
758
+
759
+ LEELA
760
+ We're hoping to save the animals of
761
+ Vergon 6 from extinction. And if you
762
+ could just --
763
+
764
+
765
+ [Zapp spits out his drink.]
766
+
767
+
768
+ ZAPP
769
+ Vergon 6?! This light dinner is over.
770
+
771
+
772
+
773
+ LEELA
774
+ Wait! What's wrong?
775
+
776
+
777
+ ZAPP
778
+ The Democratic Order Of Planets prohibits
779
+ interfering with undeveloped worlds.
780
+ It's a little rule known as "Brannigan's
781
+ Law".
782
+
783
+
784
+ LEELA
785
+ But people already interfered. That
786
+ planet was mined completely hollow.
787
+
788
+
789
+
790
+ ZAPP
791
+ Yes, by a Democratic Order Of Planets
792
+ mining crew.
793
+
794
+
795
+ LEELA
796
+ This doesn't make any sense.
797
+
798
+
799
+ ZAPP
800
+ I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's
801
+ Law. I merely enforce it.
802
+
803
+
804
+ LEELA
805
+ Fine! We'll save the animals without
806
+ your help.
807
+
808
+
809
+ ZAPP
810
+ I'm afraid I can't allow that. Guards!
811
+
812
+
813
+
814
+ [Guards grab Leela, Fry and Bender.]
815
+
816
+
817
+ FRY
818
+ What just happened?
819
+
820
+
821
+ BENDER
822
+ He's throwing us in prison.
823
+
824
+
825
+ [Fry sighs.]
826
+
827
+
828
+ FRY
829
+ Dang! Can I get this wrapped up?
830
+
831
+
832
+ [He holds up his plate and Zapp nods.]
833
+
834
+
835
+ [Nimbus Brig. Leela touches the force field around the doorway
836
+ and gets electrocuted.]
837
+
838
+
839
+ LEELA
840
+ Ow! I might've liked Zapp Brannigan
841
+ if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw
842
+ me in prison.
843
+
844
+
845
+ BENDER
846
+ You really are too picky.
847
+
848
+
849
+ [Nimbus Corridor.]
850
+
851
+
852
+ ZAPP
853
+ Kif, follow me up to the observation
854
+ deck. I've got some musing to do.
855
+
856
+
857
+
858
+ [Zapp climbs a ladder and Kif accidentally looks up his skirt.]
859
+
860
+
861
+
862
+ KIF
863
+ Oh, jeez!
864
+
865
+
866
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Observation Deck.]
867
+
868
+
869
+ ZAPP
870
+ I'm facing a formidable female adversary,
871
+ Kif. Suggestions?
872
+
873
+
874
+ KIF
875
+ I fail to see any problem sir. You already
876
+ imprisoned her under directive B10.81.
877
+
878
+
879
+
880
+ ZAPP
881
+ You mean Brannigan's Law?
882
+
883
+
884
+ KIF
885
+ Right, that law.
886
+
887
+
888
+ ZAPP
889
+ Which one?
890
+
891
+
892
+ [Kif sighs.]
893
+
894
+
895
+ KIF
896
+ Brannigan's Law.
897
+
898
+
899
+ ZAPP
900
+ Kif, you're my best and most loyal friend
901
+ but you've earned my contempt once again.
902
+ As my prod�g� you should know that the
903
+ only way to deal with a female adversary
904
+ is to seduce her. This time we are
905
+ sure she's a woman, right?
906
+
907
+
908
+ KIF
909
+ Yes.
910
+
911
+
912
+ ZAPP
913
+ Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh,
914
+ and have the boy lay out my formal shorts.
915
+
916
+
917
+
918
+ KIF
919
+ The boy, sir?
920
+
921
+
922
+ ZAPP
923
+ You. You lay out my formal shorts.
924
+
925
+
926
+
927
+ [He disappears down the ladder.]
928
+
929
+
930
+ [Nimbus Corridor. Kif walks past crewmembers with Leela following
931
+ him.]
932
+
933
+
934
+ KIF
935
+ The jackass wants to see you in his
936
+ quarters.
937
+
938
+
939
+ LEELA
940
+ Good. This will be my chance to reason
941
+ with him, captain to captain.
942
+
943
+
944
+ KIF
945
+ And he wants you to wear this.
946
+
947
+
948
+ [Kif holds up a skimpy little outfit. Leela ignores it and knocks
949
+ on Zapp's door.]
950
+
951
+
952
+ ZAPP
953
+ Come and get it!
954
+
955
+
956
+ [Cut to: Zapp's Quarters. The doors open and Leela walks in.
957
+ The room is filled with candles and other crap. Zapp lies on
958
+ his hovering heart-shaped bed under a huge portrait of himself
959
+ that is similar to the portrait of JFK.]
960
+
961
+
962
+ ZAPP
963
+ Welcome to my humble chamber. Or as
964
+ I call it, "the Love-nasium". Shampagin?
965
+
966
+
967
+
968
+ LEELA
969
+ I didn't realise you were such a coin-a-sewer.
970
+
971
+
972
+
973
+ ZAPP
974
+ Well I have studied abroad. Or two!
975
+
976
+
977
+
978
+ [He laughs. Leela fakes a laugh and throws her champagne on the
979
+ floor while Zapp isn't looking.]
980
+
981
+
982
+ LEELA
983
+ Captain...
984
+
985
+
986
+ ZAPP
987
+ Uh-huh?
988
+
989
+
990
+ LEELA
991
+ ...if we could speak seriously for a
992
+ moment...
993
+
994
+
995
+ ZAPP
996
+ Uh-huh?
997
+
998
+
999
+ LEELA
1000
+ ...I'd like you to reconsider letting
1001
+ us rescue those animals.
1002
+
1003
+
1004
+ ZAPP
1005
+ Mm-hm. I like your style. I find it
1006
+ very...(whispering)...erotic.
1007
+
1008
+
1009
+ LEELA
1010
+ What?
1011
+
1012
+
1013
+ ZAPP
1014
+ (shouting) Erotic!
1015
+
1016
+
1017
+ [Cut to: Kif's Quarters. Zapp's words echo around the ship. Kif
1018
+ gets frustrated and bangs the ceiling with a broom handle.]
1019
+
1020
+
1021
+
1022
+ [Nimbus Brig. Fry and Bender are still inside.]
1023
+
1024
+
1025
+ FRY
1026
+ We can definitely escape, Bender. All
1027
+ you have to do is bend the hatch off
1028
+ this steam pipe.
1029
+
1030
+
1031
+ BENDER
1032
+ Hey, yeah!
1033
+
1034
+
1035
+ [He bends the hatch off and the steam rushes out of it and starts
1036
+ filling the room.]
1037
+
1038
+
1039
+ FRY
1040
+ No good! It's full of steam!
1041
+
1042
+
1043
+ [Zapp's Quarters. Leela impatiently paces back and forth.]
1044
+
1045
+
1046
+ ZAPP
1047
+ You look like a woman who enjoys the
1048
+ finer things. Come over here and feel
1049
+ my velour bedspread.
1050
+
1051
+
1052
+ LEELA
1053
+ I'm not really in the mood.
1054
+
1055
+
1056
+ ZAPP
1057
+ Leela, it's real velour. Just let yourself
1058
+ go.
1059
+
1060
+
1061
+ [He rolls over onto his back.]
1062
+
1063
+
1064
+ LEELA
1065
+ Can I please just go back to prison?
1066
+
1067
+
1068
+
1069
+ ZAPP
1070
+ You'd rather sit in prison than spend
1071
+ one evening with the Zapper?
1072
+
1073
+
1074
+ LEELA
1075
+ Much rather! What are you doing?
1076
+
1077
+
1078
+ ZAPP
1079
+ (crying) Oh, God, I'm pathetic. Sorry.
1080
+ Just go. You want the rest of the shampagin?
1081
+
1082
+
1083
+
1084
+ LEELA
1085
+ No, and it's pronounced "sham-pane".
1086
+
1087
+
1088
+
1089
+ ZAPP
1090
+ (crying) Oh, God, no!
1091
+
1092
+
1093
+ LEELA
1094
+ Its not a big deal.
1095
+
1096
+
1097
+ ZAPP
1098
+ (crying) I get so lonely. I just thought
1099
+ you - a fellow captain - would understand.
1100
+
1101
+
1102
+
1103
+ LEELA
1104
+ Oh, forget it.
1105
+
1106
+
1107
+ ZAPP
1108
+ (crying) Yeah, it's great ordering people
1109
+ around and stuff but through it all
1110
+ you're completely alone.
1111
+
1112
+
1113
+ LEELA
1114
+ It comes with the job.
1115
+
1116
+
1117
+ ZAPP
1118
+ (crying) I'm just so lonely!
1119
+
1120
+
1121
+ [He cries more.]
1122
+
1123
+
1124
+ LEELA
1125
+ Oh, come on, cheer up, it's not that
1126
+ bad.
1127
+
1128
+
1129
+ [Nimbus Brig. The room is still full of steam.]
1130
+
1131
+
1132
+ FRY
1133
+ You wanna try escaping again?
1134
+
1135
+
1136
+ BENDER
1137
+ Nah, I'm comfy.
1138
+
1139
+
1140
+ [They are wearing towels enjoying the steam room they've created.
1141
+
1142
+
1143
+
1144
+ FRY
1145
+ Man, Leela's been gone a long time.
1146
+ I hope she's at least making progress
1147
+ with Zapp Brannigan.
1148
+
1149
+
1150
+ [Cut to: Zapp's Quarters. The morning after the night before...
1151
+ Leela wakes up. She turns her head and sees she's lying in Zapp's
1152
+ bed. With him. He is still asleep and has a big grin on his face.
1153
+ She screams.]
1154
+
1155
+
1156
+ [Time Lapse. Leela has got dressed and is sneaking out. Zapp
1157
+ wakes up.]
1158
+
1159
+
1160
+ ZAPP
1161
+ Good morning, lover.
1162
+
1163
+
1164
+ LEELA
1165
+ Uh, listen, Zapp.
1166
+
1167
+
1168
+ ZAPP
1169
+ Now you're officially my woman. Kudos!
1170
+ I can't say I don't envy you.
1171
+
1172
+
1173
+ LEELA
1174
+ Zapp, last night was a mistake.
1175
+
1176
+
1177
+ ZAPP
1178
+ A sexy mistake.
1179
+
1180
+
1181
+ LEELA
1182
+ No, just a regular mistake. For a split
1183
+ second my common sense was overwhelmed
1184
+ by pity.
1185
+
1186
+
1187
+ [Zapp laughs.]
1188
+
1189
+
1190
+ ZAPP
1191
+ A split second is all it takes. That's
1192
+ why sooner or later you'll come crawling
1193
+ back to the Zapper.
1194
+
1195
+
1196
+ LEELA
1197
+ The only kind of crawling I'm doing
1198
+ to you is away - from!
1199
+
1200
+
1201
+ ZAPP
1202
+ Leela, you're obviously confused and
1203
+ aroused.
1204
+
1205
+
1206
+ LEELA
1207
+ Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to
1208
+ save those animals whether you like
1209
+ it or not.
1210
+
1211
+
1212
+ ZAPP
1213
+ Go ahead. I won't stop you.
1214
+
1215
+
1216
+ LEELA
1217
+ Threaten all you -- wait, what?
1218
+
1219
+
1220
+ ZAPP
1221
+ We both know you won't make it halfway
1222
+ to Vergon 6 before the craving sets
1223
+ in. Then you'll come crawling back for
1224
+ another taste of sweet, sweet candy...Bam!
1225
+
1226
+
1227
+
1228
+ [He points at his crotch.]
1229
+
1230
+
1231
+ LEELA
1232
+ Eurgh!
1233
+
1234
+
1235
+ [She storms out. Zapp chuckles.]
1236
+
1237
+
1238
+ ZAPP
1239
+ Kif!
1240
+
1241
+
1242
+ [Kif appears in the doorway.]
1243
+
1244
+
1245
+ KIF
1246
+ Yes -- Yes, captain?
1247
+
1248
+
1249
+ ZAPP
1250
+ I have made it with a woman. Inform
1251
+ the men.
1252
+
1253
+
1254
+ [Nimbus Brig. Kif lets Fry and Bender out of the cell.]
1255
+
1256
+
1257
+ KIF
1258
+ The fatso says you're free to go.
1259
+
1260
+
1261
+ FRY
1262
+ Really? Why?
1263
+
1264
+
1265
+ KIF
1266
+ (quietly) "Why" indeed.
1267
+
1268
+
1269
+ [He looks at Leela then walks off.]
1270
+
1271
+
1272
+ FRY
1273
+ What does that mean?
1274
+
1275
+
1276
+ LEELA
1277
+ (defensively) Nothing.
1278
+
1279
+
1280
+ BENDER
1281
+ So should we get our stuff and head
1282
+ down to the planet?
1283
+
1284
+
1285
+ LEELA
1286
+ (defensively) We just talked, OK?!
1287
+
1288
+
1289
+
1290
+ [The ship flies down to Vergon 6, through the green cloudy sky.
1291
+ The planet is surreal and Dali-like.]
1292
+
1293
+
1294
+ [Vergon 6 Surface. Leela, Fry and Bender stand beside the ship
1295
+ with huge nets.]
1296
+
1297
+
1298
+ LEELA
1299
+ Alright. We don't have much time to
1300
+ collect these animals. The planet is
1301
+ supposed to collapse in approximately
1302
+ two hours ago.
1303
+
1304
+
1305
+ [Montage The crew hunt for the animals. First, Bender tries to
1306
+ find the purple fruit snake but it finds him first and eats him.
1307
+ He stands up inside the snake and drags it back to the ship.
1308
+ Fry tries to get the windy shrimp but it blows him away. Leela
1309
+ tries to get the four legged mimic which looks like a horse but
1310
+ copies people's heads and movements. Fry holds a net and tries
1311
+ to decide which one is the mimic. Leela points at the mimic and
1312
+ it points back at her. Fry looks...and throws the net over Leela.
1313
+ Later, Leela ticks off the final animal on the checklist.]
1314
+
1315
+
1316
+
1317
+ [Time Lapse. The checklist is filled. A small animal comes out
1318
+ from behind some plants. It is mostly black, has one huge nostril
1319
+ in the middle of its face and a three eyes, one of them on a
1320
+ long stalk coming out of the middle of it's head.]
1321
+
1322
+
1323
+ LEELA
1324
+ Hello there. Hmm, he doesn't seem to
1325
+ be on the checklist.
1326
+
1327
+
1328
+ BENDER
1329
+ So you're saying we can cook him?
1330
+
1331
+
1332
+ FRY
1333
+ Yeah, a barbecue! I'll wear my hilarious
1334
+ apron.
1335
+
1336
+
1337
+ LEELA
1338
+ No! I don't care how hilarious your
1339
+ apron is, we're not cooking him. Aww,
1340
+ I'll call him Nibbler.
1341
+
1342
+
1343
+ BENDER
1344
+ Aww! (whispering to Fry) I'll fire up
1345
+ the grill!
1346
+
1347
+
1348
+ [Time Lapse.]
1349
+
1350
+
1351
+ LEELA
1352
+ I hope he'll be OK in there with all
1353
+ those big animals.
1354
+
1355
+
1356
+ [Ships Cargo Bay. Leela opens the outer door, puts him in and
1357
+ closes it. The other animals surround Nibbler. He sniffs at them
1358
+ and then eats one whole.]
1359
+
1360
+
1361
+ [Nimbus Observation Deck. Zapp is looking at Leela through a
1362
+ telescope.]
1363
+
1364
+
1365
+ ZAPP
1366
+ Y'know, Kif, once my woman returns I
1367
+ won't have much time to hang out with
1368
+ the boys anymore.
1369
+
1370
+
1371
+ KIF
1372
+ That's a shame, sir.
1373
+
1374
+
1375
+ ZAPP
1376
+ So let's make the most of our time together,
1377
+ shall we? Never mind. Just give me
1378
+ a back rub.
1379
+
1380
+
1381
+ [Vergon 6 Surface. Bender carries a two-headed flamingo.]
1382
+
1383
+
1384
+ BENDER
1385
+ I found a pair of Hermaphlamingoes.
1386
+
1387
+
1388
+
1389
+ LEELA
1390
+ Good. That's the last species.
1391
+
1392
+
1393
+ [Ships Cargo Bay. The crew look inside and gasp in horror. The
1394
+ bay is nearly empty apart from Nibbler.]
1395
+
1396
+
1397
+ BENDER
1398
+ Hey. What the?
1399
+
1400
+
1401
+ FRY
1402
+ Where'd they all go?
1403
+
1404
+
1405
+ [Nibbler eats the Hermaphlamingoes, making lots of disgusting
1406
+ noises. The crew watch and cringe.]
1407
+
1408
+
1409
+ LEELA
1410
+ Nibbler!
1411
+
1412
+
1413
+ FRY
1414
+ I can't believe we flew halfway across
1415
+ the galaxy and enjoyed a steam just
1416
+ to get lunch for that stupid animal!
1417
+
1418
+
1419
+
1420
+ BENDER
1421
+ He's pending for a bending.
1422
+
1423
+
1424
+ [He rolls up his sleeves and chases Nibbler. He runs to Leela
1425
+ and she picks him up.]
1426
+
1427
+
1428
+ LEELA
1429
+ Leave him alone. It's not his fault
1430
+ that he's an unstoppable killing machine.
1431
+ Is it, snoogums?
1432
+
1433
+
1434
+ [The ground shakes, rocking the ship.]
1435
+
1436
+
1437
+ FRY
1438
+ The planet's kerploding!
1439
+
1440
+
1441
+ [Cut to: Vergon 6 Surface. Fry runs out through a door and falls
1442
+ through the ground. Bender reaches into the hole and pulls him
1443
+ back up.]
1444
+
1445
+
1446
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
1447
+
1448
+
1449
+ LEELA
1450
+ Prepare for lift-off. We're out of
1451
+ fuel. Bender, I told you to fill the
1452
+ tank before we left.
1453
+
1454
+
1455
+ BENDER
1456
+ Yeah, I'll do it when we get back.
1457
+
1458
+
1459
+
1460
+ [The ground shakes again.]
1461
+
1462
+
1463
+ FRY
1464
+ Man, lucky for us Zapp Brannigan's nearby.
1465
+
1466
+
1467
+
1468
+ LEELA
1469
+ No way, forget it! I refuse to go crawling
1470
+ back to him!
1471
+
1472
+
1473
+ FRY
1474
+ What? What are you talking about?
1475
+
1476
+
1477
+ LEELA
1478
+ (defensively) Nothing. We just talked.
1479
+
1480
+
1481
+
1482
+ BENDER
1483
+ So what's your problem? It's not like
1484
+ you slept with him. Oh, my God!
1485
+
1486
+
1487
+ FRY
1488
+ How could you, Leela? I thought you
1489
+ had some standards. I mean, jeez, he's
1490
+ a dumb, gross gorilla!
1491
+
1492
+
1493
+ LEELA
1494
+ That's enough. Don't you think I feel
1495
+ bad enough already?
1496
+
1497
+
1498
+ FRY
1499
+ No!
1500
+
1501
+
1502
+ [The ground shakes more violently.]
1503
+
1504
+
1505
+ LEELA
1506
+ Alright, alright I'll call him. I mean
1507
+ if living is that important to you.
1508
+
1509
+
1510
+
1511
+ [Nimbus Bridge.]
1512
+
1513
+
1514
+ ZAPP
1515
+ And that's why you'll never make captain,
1516
+ Kif. Hmmm.
1517
+
1518
+
1519
+ [Leela face appears.]
1520
+
1521
+
1522
+ LEELA
1523
+ Hello, Zapp?
1524
+
1525
+
1526
+ ZAPP
1527
+ Well, well, well!
1528
+
1529
+
1530
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
1531
+
1532
+
1533
+ LEELA
1534
+ Zapp, we're out of fuel...
1535
+
1536
+
1537
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge.]
1538
+
1539
+
1540
+ LEELA
1541
+ ...and Vergon 6 is about to implode.
1542
+ We need your help.
1543
+
1544
+
1545
+ ZAPP
1546
+ So, crawling back to the Big Z like
1547
+ a bird on its belly. Delicious.
1548
+
1549
+
1550
+ LEELA
1551
+ Bird's don't crawl.
1552
+
1553
+
1554
+ ZAPP
1555
+ They've been known to.
1556
+
1557
+
1558
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
1559
+
1560
+
1561
+ LEELA
1562
+ Look, are you going to rescue us or
1563
+ not?
1564
+
1565
+
1566
+ ZAPP
1567
+ Can't you ask a little more...sexfully?
1568
+
1569
+
1570
+
1571
+ [Fry and Bender encourage Leela.]
1572
+
1573
+
1574
+ LEELA
1575
+ (sexfully) Please...
1576
+
1577
+
1578
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge.]
1579
+
1580
+
1581
+ LEELA
1582
+ ...Big Z?
1583
+
1584
+
1585
+ ZAPP
1586
+ Certainly. But first you'll have to
1587
+ get rid of that thing. That's the law,
1588
+ Leela. And Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's
1589
+ love: hard and fast!...
1590
+
1591
+
1592
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
1593
+
1594
+
1595
+ ZAPP
1596
+ ...Now put that greasy rat outside
1597
+ and we'll tow you to safety.
1598
+
1599
+
1600
+ LEELA
1601
+ I would never abandon a helpless animal.
1602
+ Y'know, Zapp, once I thought you were
1603
+ a big pompous buffoon. Then I realised
1604
+ that inside you were just a pitiful
1605
+ child. But now I realise that outside
1606
+ that child is a big pompous buffoon!
1607
+
1608
+
1609
+
1610
+ ZAPP
1611
+ And which one rocked your world?
1612
+
1613
+
1614
+ [Leela growls and slams down the receiver and his face fizzles
1615
+ off the screen.]
1616
+
1617
+
1618
+ FRY
1619
+ Wow, way to tell that guy off. Now what's
1620
+ your secret escape plan?
1621
+
1622
+
1623
+ LEELA
1624
+ Uh, I guess to sit here and wait for
1625
+ death.
1626
+
1627
+
1628
+ BENDER
1629
+ Can do!
1630
+
1631
+
1632
+ [He puts his feet up and reclines in his chair. There is a huge
1633
+ bang and the ship jerks backwards.]
1634
+
1635
+
1636
+ BENDER
1637
+ What the hell was that?
1638
+
1639
+
1640
+ [Ships Cargo Bay. There is a big round black blob in Nibbler's
1641
+ litter tray.]
1642
+
1643
+
1644
+ FRY
1645
+ Pew!
1646
+
1647
+
1648
+ [He fans the air in front of his nose.]
1649
+
1650
+
1651
+ LEELA
1652
+ I don't believe it! It's dark matter.
1653
+
1654
+
1655
+
1656
+ BENDER
1657
+ So this guy just unloaded a steaming
1658
+ pile of starship fuel?
1659
+
1660
+
1661
+ LEELA
1662
+ His species must've filled the entire
1663
+ planet with it. Did you do that, you
1664
+ cute little -- Come on. That should
1665
+ be more than enough fuel to get us outta
1666
+ here. Bender, pick it up and put it
1667
+ in the engine.
1668
+
1669
+
1670
+ [Bender mutters to himself and drags the dark matter across the
1671
+ floor towards the engine room.]
1672
+
1673
+
1674
+ [Cut to: Ships Engine Room. Bender throws the dark matter into
1675
+ the boiler.]
1676
+
1677
+
1678
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. The fuel gauge fills up, Leela throttles
1679
+ forward and the ship lifts off, moments before the ground collapses.
1680
+ They fly away from the planet and it explodes. The crew cheer.]
1681
+
1682
+
1683
+
1684
+ LEELA
1685
+ We made it! And some of the animals
1686
+ survived.
1687
+
1688
+
1689
+ [She looks through the binoculars and sees some animals standing
1690
+ on a tiny fragment of rock.]
1691
+
1692
+
1693
+ BENDER
1694
+ So a couple of animals didn't die and
1695
+ Leela got lucky. That's what I call
1696
+ a successful mission!
1697
+
1698
+
1699
+ FRY
1700
+ We're heroes!
1701
+
1702
+
1703
+ [Leela's Quarters. Leela writes in her diary. Nibbler is on her
1704
+ lap and she is stroking him.]
1705
+
1706
+
1707
+ LEELA
1708
+ (thinking) Dear Captain's Diary. I may
1709
+ not have found love on this mission
1710
+ but I did find a cute little companion
1711
+ who excretes starship fuel. And that's
1712
+ just as good.
1713
+
1714
+
1715
+ [She pauses for a moment then tears the page out, screws it up
1716
+ and throws it in the bin.]
1717
+
1718
+
1719
+ [Outside Nimbus.]
1720
+
1721
+
1722
+ ZAPP
1723
+ Captain's journal; star date...uh...
1724
+
1725
+
1726
+
1727
+ [Kif sighs.]
1728
+
1729
+
1730
+ KIF
1731
+ April 13th.
1732
+
1733
+
1734
+ ZAPP
1735
+ April 13th...point two.
1736
+
1737
+
1738
+ [Cut to: Nimbus Bridge.]
1739
+
1740
+
1741
+ ZAPP
1742
+ We have failed to uphold Brannigan's
1743
+ Law. However, I did make it with a hot
1744
+ alien babe. And in the end is that not
1745
+ what man has dreamt of since first he
1746
+ looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking
1747
+ you a question!
1748
+
1749
+
1750
+ [Kif sighs.]
1751
+
1752
+
1753
+ THE END
content/my_data/s1e5.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1653 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ FUTURAMA
2
+
3
+ Episode 106
4
+
5
+ "A FISHFUL OF DOLLARS"
6
+
7
+ By
8
+
9
+ Patric M. Verrone
10
+
11
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
12
+
13
+
14
+
15
+ [Fry's Bedroom. Fry is awoken by squeaking bed springs from the
16
+ apartment next door. He growls.]
17
+
18
+
19
+ FRY
20
+ I can't take it anymore! They've been
21
+ at it for hours! (shouting) Give it
22
+ a rest, you two!
23
+
24
+
25
+ [Cut to: Next Door Apartment. The robots next door are sat playing
26
+ poker. They have springy bodies which are constantly squeaking.
27
+ One of the robots oils his springs.]
28
+
29
+
30
+ ROBOT
31
+ (shouting) Sorry!
32
+
33
+
34
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: Loading...]
35
+
36
+
37
+ [Fry's Bedroom. Fry is asleep.]
38
+
39
+
40
+ [Fade to: Fry's Dream. He is in a packed lecture hall. An old
41
+ teacher stands at the front of the room. She wears frosted half-moon
42
+ glasses and has grey hair.]
43
+
44
+
45
+ TEACHER
46
+ Good morning, class. I trust you've
47
+ all prepared for today's final exam.
48
+
49
+
50
+
51
+ FRY
52
+ Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures.
53
+ Uh, what subject is this?
54
+
55
+
56
+ TEACHER
57
+ Ancient Egyptian algebra.
58
+
59
+
60
+ [She points to the blackboard, revealing it is filled with Egyptian
61
+ hieroglyphs. Fry gasps.]
62
+
63
+
64
+ FRY
65
+ What a nightmare!
66
+
67
+
68
+ TEACHER
69
+ Mister Fry, are those your underpants?
70
+ Young man, I think it's time you learned
71
+ a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.
72
+
73
+
74
+
75
+ [She pulls down a poster showing the briefs.]
76
+
77
+
78
+ ANNOUNCER
79
+ (voice-over) Lightspeed fits today's
80
+ active lifestyle. Whether you're on
81
+ the job......or having fun... Lightspeed
82
+ briefs. Style and comfort for the discriminating
83
+ crotch.
84
+
85
+
86
+ [Like an advertisement, a pair of lightspeeds appear in front
87
+ of a flashing background.]
88
+
89
+
90
+ [Cut to: Fry's Bedroom. The dream ends and Fry suddenly wakes
91
+ up.]
92
+
93
+
94
+ FRY
95
+ What a weird dream! I'll never get back
96
+ to sleep.
97
+
98
+
99
+ [He falls asleep instantly.]
100
+
101
+
102
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. The crew are sat around the table.]
103
+
104
+
105
+
106
+ FRY
107
+ So you're telling me they broadcast
108
+ commercials into people's dreams?
109
+
110
+
111
+
112
+ LEELA
113
+ Of course.
114
+
115
+
116
+ FRY
117
+ But, how is that possible?
118
+
119
+
120
+ FARNSWORTH
121
+ It's very simple. The ad gets into your
122
+ brain just like this liquid gets into
123
+ this egg. Although in reality it's
124
+ not liquid, but gamma radiation.
125
+
126
+
127
+ FRY
128
+ That's awful. It's like brainwashing.
129
+
130
+
131
+
132
+ [Leela wipes the yolk from her hair.]
133
+
134
+
135
+ LEELA
136
+ Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?
137
+
138
+
139
+
140
+ FRY
141
+ Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only
142
+ on TV and radio. And in magazines and
143
+ movies and at ball games and on buses
144
+ and milk cartons and t-shirts and written
145
+ in the sky. But not in dreams. No siree!
146
+
147
+
148
+
149
+ BENDER
150
+ Quit squawking, flesh wad, nobody's
151
+ forcing you to buy anything.
152
+
153
+
154
+ AMY
155
+ Yeah. I mean we all have commercials
156
+ in our dreams but you don't see us running
157
+ off to buy brand name merchandise at
158
+ low, low prices.
159
+
160
+
161
+ [After a long silence they get up and run out.]
162
+
163
+
164
+ [Alien Overlord & Taylor. A department store. Enter the Planet
165
+ Express staff who are immediately preyed on by a saleswoman at
166
+ the cosmetics stand.]
167
+
168
+
169
+ SALESWOMAN
170
+ Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance
171
+ from Calvin Clone?
172
+
173
+
174
+ AMY
175
+ No thanks.
176
+
177
+
178
+ [The saleswoman sprays her. Amy curses in Chinese and walks away
179
+ rubbing her eyes.]
180
+
181
+
182
+ SALESWOMAN
183
+ And you, sir?
184
+
185
+
186
+ BENDER
187
+ No thanks I --
188
+
189
+
190
+ [The saleswoman sprays him. Bender sprays her back with oil,
191
+ covering her face. She coughs and splutters.]
192
+
193
+
194
+ [Time Lapse. Leela is sat on a chair at the cosmetics stand.
195
+ A cosmetologist brushes away her fringe.]
196
+
197
+
198
+ COSMETOLOGIST
199
+ What a lovely face. We just need to
200
+ draw attention away from the eye area.
201
+
202
+
203
+
204
+ [She zaps Leela with something and then holds up a mirror. Leela
205
+ sees her reflection and sighs. The woman has plastered her face
206
+ in lipstick so she looks like a clown. In the menswear department
207
+ Fry picks up a box of the briefs.]
208
+
209
+
210
+ FRY
211
+ Cool. Can I try these on before I buy
212
+ them?
213
+
214
+
215
+ SALESMAN
216
+ I'm afraid I can't let you open the
217
+ package. But you can try on the demo
218
+ pair.
219
+
220
+
221
+ [He pulls out a pair of smelly underpants and sprays them with
222
+ deodorant.]
223
+
224
+
225
+ [Fitting Room. Fry puts the briefs and is impressed.]
226
+
227
+
228
+ FRY
229
+ : Ooh! Ho ho ho!
230
+
231
+
232
+ [He sees his reflection in the mirror - a muscled man surrounded
233
+ by women. Then he sees the notice: Objects In The Mirror Are
234
+ Less Attractive Than They Appear and sighs.]
235
+
236
+
237
+ [Alien Overlord & Taylor. In the robot accessories department,
238
+ Bender, wearing a green sweater, picks up a few cans of Mom's
239
+ Old Fashion Robot Oil from a pile and hides them under the sweater.]
240
+
241
+
242
+
243
+ AMY
244
+ Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.
245
+
246
+
247
+ BENDER
248
+ New? What sweater? I came in with it.
249
+ I don't know you people!
250
+
251
+
252
+ [He walks off. A hovering CCTV camera follows him. Back in the
253
+ menswear department, Fry is buying the Lightspeeds.]
254
+
255
+
256
+ SALESMAN
257
+ $30, please.
258
+
259
+
260
+ FRY
261
+ $30? I can't afford that. Unless...
262
+ Do you take Visa?
263
+
264
+
265
+ SALESMAN
266
+ Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.
267
+
268
+
269
+
270
+ FRY
271
+ American Express?
272
+
273
+
274
+ SALESMAN
275
+ 600 years.
276
+
277
+
278
+ FRY
279
+ Discover card?
280
+
281
+
282
+ SALESMAN
283
+ Sorry we don't take Discover.
284
+
285
+
286
+ [Amy, Leela, Zoidberg and Bender walk up behind him.]
287
+
288
+
289
+ AMY
290
+ Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed?
291
+ Pretty ritzy!
292
+
293
+
294
+ FRY
295
+ No, I can't afford them. Being poor
296
+ sucks. What kind of world is this where
297
+ they advertise things not everybody
298
+ can afford?
299
+
300
+
301
+ AMY
302
+ Quiet. There's an ad coming on.
303
+
304
+
305
+ [On the screens an old woman, the same woman from on the tins
306
+ of oil - Mom - sits in a chair knitting. She is wearing a huge
307
+ green dress and an apron around her front. Behind her on the
308
+ wall is a picture of three men dressed in the same grey clothes.]
309
+
310
+
311
+
312
+ MOM
313
+ Hello shoppers. It's me, Mom!
314
+
315
+
316
+ FRY
317
+ Hey who's the rocker jockey?
318
+
319
+
320
+ AMY
321
+ Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable
322
+ industrialist.
323
+
324
+
325
+ MOM
326
+ Call me old fashioned, but when my
327
+ robot starts to squeak like an old screen
328
+ door well, that's when I reach for a
329
+ can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.
330
+
331
+
332
+
333
+ BENDER
334
+ Mmm, tasty!
335
+
336
+
337
+ MOM
338
+ And remember: Mom's oil is made with
339
+ 10% more love than the next leading
340
+ brand!
341
+
342
+
343
+ [She smiles.]
344
+
345
+
346
+ ANNOUNCER
347
+ "Mom", "love" and "screen door" are
348
+ registered trademarks of Mom Corp.
349
+
350
+
351
+
352
+ [The tins under Bender's sweater squeak.]
353
+
354
+
355
+ FRY
356
+ Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use
357
+ a little of that oil.
358
+
359
+
360
+ [Some tins fall out of Bender's sweater. Seven hovering CCTV
361
+ cameras surround him. He looks up at them.]
362
+
363
+
364
+ BENDER
365
+ I'm boned.
366
+
367
+
368
+ SMITTY
369
+ Freeze scuzzbot!
370
+
371
+
372
+ BENDER
373
+ Uh, there's obviously been some sort
374
+ of a mistake here. I'm sure there's......I
375
+ say I'm sure there's......that is, I'm
376
+ sure there's...a very...reasonable...
377
+
378
+
379
+
380
+ [And some more.]
381
+
382
+
383
+ [Outside New New York Police Department. On a sign outside is
384
+ Ask About Our Generous Brutality Settlements.]
385
+
386
+
387
+ [Cut to: New New York Police Department. At the front desk Fry
388
+ counts some money.]
389
+
390
+
391
+ AMY
392
+ Do we have enough money to pay Bender's
393
+ fine?
394
+
395
+
396
+ FRY
397
+ 78, 79. 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents
398
+ short.
399
+
400
+
401
+ LEELA
402
+ I'd love to chip in, but Bender stole
403
+ my wallet.
404
+
405
+
406
+ [Fry sees something through a window, a building called Big Apple
407
+ Bank.]
408
+
409
+
410
+ FRY
411
+ Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's
412
+ still open.
413
+
414
+
415
+ [Big Apple Bank. Fry steps forward to the desk and has a retina
416
+ scanned.]
417
+
418
+
419
+ TELLER
420
+ Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina
421
+ scan, your fingerprint or your colonic
422
+ map on file.
423
+
424
+
425
+ FRY
426
+ Yeah, well, I did open the account over
427
+ a thousand years ago. What about my
428
+ ATM card?
429
+
430
+
431
+ [The teller pulls out an old ATM machine from under the desk
432
+ and blows the dust off it.]
433
+
434
+
435
+ TELLER
436
+ Do you still remember your PIN number?
437
+
438
+
439
+
440
+ FRY
441
+ Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza
442
+ and a large soda back where I used to
443
+ work, Panucci's Pizza.
444
+
445
+
446
+ TELLER
447
+ OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...
448
+
449
+
450
+
451
+ [Fry looks at Amy and Leela.]
452
+
453
+
454
+ FRY
455
+ Alright!
456
+
457
+
458
+ TELLER
459
+ ...and at an average of 2 and a quarter
460
+ percent over a period of 1000 years,
461
+ that comes to...$4.3 billion.
462
+
463
+
464
+ [Fry stares for a moment and suddenly starts hyperventilating
465
+ and foaming at the mouth. Then he faints.]
466
+
467
+
468
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. The crew are gathered in celebration,
469
+ wearing top hats and drinking champagne.]
470
+
471
+
472
+ HERMES
473
+ To Fry.
474
+
475
+
476
+ AMY
477
+ Cheers!
478
+
479
+
480
+ [They raise their glasses.]
481
+
482
+
483
+ LEELA
484
+ I know Fry's rich, but do we really
485
+ have to wear these top hats?
486
+
487
+
488
+ BENDER
489
+ Maybe you don't understand just how
490
+ rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better
491
+ put on a monocle.
492
+
493
+
494
+ [And he does.]
495
+
496
+
497
+ [Le Spa. Fry lives the high life. At Le Spa Fry and Leela get
498
+ a relaxing massage and Bender gets a buffing.]
499
+
500
+
501
+ [Famous-Painting-Shooting. Next, Fry and Leela walk down a corridor
502
+ past many famous paintings. Fry stops at the Mona Lisa, points
503
+ to it and buys it. The corridor is just a wall in the open countryside
504
+ with paintings hanging on it. A man loads the painting into a
505
+ catapult and fires it. Fry, Bender and Leela raise their lasers
506
+ and shoot it, blasting it to pieces.]
507
+
508
+
509
+ [Original Cosmic Ray's Pizza. The Planet Express staff are gathered
510
+ around a table for lunch.]
511
+
512
+
513
+ FRY
514
+ Pizza dinner on me! Just keep the tab
515
+ under $50 million.
516
+
517
+
518
+ ROBOT CHEF
519
+ Yo! I haven't got all day. What kind
520
+ of pizza yous guys want?
521
+
522
+
523
+ FRY
524
+ Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything
525
+ but anchovies and one with my all time
526
+ favourite topping, anchovies!
527
+
528
+
529
+ ROBOT CHEF
530
+ (mechanical voice) Invalid selection.
531
+ (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking
532
+ about?
533
+
534
+
535
+ FRY
536
+ Anchovies? You know? Those little headless
537
+ fish?
538
+
539
+
540
+ ROBOT CHEF
541
+ (mechanical voice) Does not compute.
542
+ Does not compute.
543
+
544
+
545
+ [His head explodes.]
546
+
547
+
548
+ FARNSWORTH
549
+ I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has
550
+ been extinct since the 2200's.
551
+
552
+
553
+ FRY
554
+ What?!
555
+
556
+
557
+ FARNSWORTH
558
+ Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about
559
+ the time your people arrived on Earth
560
+ wasn't it, Zoidberg?
561
+
562
+
563
+ ZOIDBERG
564
+ (defensively) I'm not on trial here.
565
+
566
+
567
+
568
+ FRY
569
+ So none of you has ever had anchovies?
570
+ Oh, man! You don't know what you're
571
+ missing. They were all salty and oily
572
+ and they melted in your mouth and --
573
+
574
+
575
+
576
+ ZOIDBERG
577
+ Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate
578
+ them all! We kept saying "One more can't
579
+ hurt" and then they were gone. We're
580
+ sorry!
581
+
582
+
583
+ [He holds his claws to his head and hangs it in shame. Fry sighs.]
584
+
585
+
586
+
587
+ FRY
588
+ I just wished I could've showed you
589
+ guys how great they were. I may be rich
590
+ but I still can't buy back all the things
591
+ I miss from the 20th century.
592
+
593
+
594
+ BENDER
595
+ Maybe you're forgetting just how rich
596
+ you are. Huh? Huh?
597
+
598
+
599
+ [Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A banner outside advertises
600
+ "With Original Asbestos". On the steps Fry shakes hands with
601
+ the landlord and moves in.]
602
+
603
+
604
+ [Historic 20th Century Apartment. Amy, Bender and Leela are already
605
+ in there. Amy picks up the telephone is puzzlement and puts the
606
+ receiver over her eyes. Enter Fry.]
607
+
608
+
609
+ FRY
610
+ So? What do you think?
611
+
612
+
613
+ LEELA
614
+ I know you spent a lot of money on this
615
+ place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive.
616
+ The floors are made of such hard wood.
617
+
618
+
619
+
620
+ BENDER
621
+ Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th
622
+ century TV!
623
+
624
+
625
+ FRY
626
+ What's wrong with it?
627
+
628
+
629
+ BENDER
630
+ Well, aside from causing eye cancer,
631
+ these things had a lousy low-definition
632
+ picture.
633
+
634
+
635
+ AMY
636
+ That's true. On a TV like this I bet
637
+ you couldn't even make out my obscene
638
+ tattoo.
639
+
640
+
641
+ [She rolls her sleeve up to reveal her obscene tattoo which appears
642
+ blurry. Bender whistles and Leela chuckles.]
643
+
644
+
645
+ LEELA
646
+ That's cute!
647
+
648
+
649
+ [Staadgi & Staadgi Auctioneers. In the crowded room Fry bids
650
+ for something.]
651
+
652
+
653
+ AUCTIONEER
654
+ Sold!
655
+
656
+
657
+ FRY
658
+ Yes!
659
+
660
+
661
+ LEELA
662
+ I just don't get it. Who was this Ted
663
+ Danson? And why would you pay $10,000
664
+ for his skeleton?
665
+
666
+
667
+ FRY
668
+ I have an idea for a sitcom.
669
+
670
+
671
+ BENDER
672
+ Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's
673
+ going a little wacko with his money.
674
+ It's OK.
675
+
676
+
677
+ LEELA
678
+ You're just saying that because he bought
679
+ you that antique robot toy.
680
+
681
+
682
+ [Bender chuckles.]
683
+
684
+
685
+ BENDER
686
+ Yeah, it is cute.
687
+
688
+
689
+ [He starts playing with a "Knock 'Em, Sock 'Em" toy. One little
690
+ robot punches the other's head off and Bender screams.]
691
+
692
+
693
+ AUCTIONEER
694
+ Now, our final item: This unopened can
695
+ of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa
696
+ 1997.
697
+
698
+
699
+ FRY
700
+ Anchovies?!
701
+
702
+
703
+ AUCTIONEER
704
+ The last known can in existence guaranteed
705
+ fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?
706
+
707
+
708
+
709
+ FRY
710
+ 15,000!
711
+
712
+
713
+ MAN
714
+ 20!
715
+
716
+
717
+ [A rich Decapodian woman stands up.]
718
+
719
+
720
+ DECAPODIAN WOMAN
721
+ 30! No, 40!
722
+
723
+
724
+ FRY
725
+ 50,000!
726
+
727
+
728
+ [The other bidders whisper to each other.]
729
+
730
+
731
+ LEELA
732
+ Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.
733
+
734
+
735
+
736
+ FRY
737
+ Don't tell me how to spend my money.
738
+
739
+
740
+
741
+ AUCTIONEER
742
+ 50 going once, twice...
743
+
744
+
745
+ [He raises his gavel but is interrupted by Mom.]
746
+
747
+
748
+ MOM
749
+ 75,000.
750
+
751
+
752
+ [The room gasps. Mom is stood at the back of the room with the
753
+ three men from the picture in the ad.]
754
+
755
+
756
+ LEELA
757
+ Oh, my God, it's Mom! I've never seen
758
+ her in person before.
759
+
760
+
761
+ FRY
762
+ 100,000.
763
+
764
+
765
+ [More whispering from the bidders.]
766
+
767
+
768
+ LEELA
769
+ Fry, you can't bid against Mom. She's
770
+ the richest, most powerful person in
771
+ the world. And she's so adorable.
772
+
773
+
774
+
775
+ [Mom looks in her purse.]
776
+
777
+
778
+ MOM
779
+ Well, I suppose I could go as high as...300,000.
780
+
781
+
782
+
783
+ FRY
784
+ 500!
785
+
786
+
787
+ MOM
788
+ Oh, mercy be. A million.
789
+
790
+
791
+ FRY
792
+ Two.
793
+
794
+
795
+ MOM
796
+ Six.
797
+
798
+
799
+ FRY
800
+ 14!
801
+
802
+
803
+ MOM
804
+ I can see the nice young man really
805
+ wants those little fish. Nevertheless,
806
+ I'll bid 23 million.
807
+
808
+
809
+ [Fry stands up and raises his hand.]
810
+
811
+
812
+ FRY
813
+ One jillion dollars.
814
+
815
+
816
+ [The bidders gasp in shock.]
817
+
818
+
819
+ AUCTIONEER
820
+ Sir, that's not a number.
821
+
822
+
823
+ [The bidders gasp again.]
824
+
825
+
826
+ FRY
827
+ Oh. In that case, 50 million.
828
+
829
+
830
+ [Mom turns to three men behind her.]
831
+
832
+
833
+ MOM
834
+ Well, boys, your old mother knows when
835
+ she's been beat. You win, young man.
836
+ I tip my bonnet to you.
837
+
838
+
839
+ [The other bidders murmur.]
840
+
841
+
842
+ BIDDER #1
843
+ Isn't she adorable?
844
+
845
+
846
+ BIDDER #2
847
+ Isn't she sweet?
848
+
849
+
850
+ [The auctioneer bangs his gavel.]
851
+
852
+
853
+ AUCTIONEER
854
+ What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman
855
+ who bought every item in today's auction.
856
+
857
+
858
+
859
+ [Fry stands up an cheers himself but the other bidders boo him.]
860
+
861
+
862
+
863
+ [Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry wanders around the room
864
+ in the dark and picks up a box.]
865
+
866
+
867
+ FRY
868
+ Now for some good old 20th century TV.
869
+
870
+
871
+
872
+ [He puts a video tape into the VCR.]
873
+
874
+
875
+ ANNOUNCER
876
+ Do you remember a time when chocolate
877
+ chip cookies came fresh from the oven?
878
+ Petridge Farm remembers.
879
+
880
+
881
+ FRY
882
+ Ah, those were the days.
883
+
884
+
885
+ ANNOUNCER
886
+ Do you remember a time when women couldn't
887
+ vote and certain folk weren't allowed
888
+ on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.
889
+
890
+
891
+
892
+ [A knock at the door.]
893
+
894
+
895
+ LEELA
896
+ Fry? Are you there?
897
+
898
+
899
+ FRY
900
+ Eh?
901
+
902
+
903
+ [Enter Leela and Bender. Fry turns the TV off.]
904
+
905
+
906
+ LEELA
907
+ You haven't been to work in three days.
908
+ What have you been doing?
909
+
910
+
911
+ FRY
912
+ I've been sitting right here. I picked
913
+ up my life exactly where I left off
914
+ a thousand years ago. Now if you'll
915
+ excuse me it's 8 o'clock. Time to get
916
+ biz-ay!
917
+
918
+
919
+ [Fry turns the stereo on and listens to Baby Got Back by Sir
920
+ Mix-a-lot. Leela turns it off.]
921
+
922
+
923
+ LEELA
924
+ You can't just sit here in the dark
925
+ listening to classical music.
926
+
927
+
928
+ FRY
929
+ I could if you hadn't turned on the
930
+ lights and shut off the stereo.
931
+
932
+
933
+ LEELA
934
+ Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living
935
+ in the past.
936
+
937
+
938
+ FRY
939
+ I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.
940
+
941
+
942
+
943
+ LEELA
944
+ But we're your friends and we live here
945
+ in the year 3000.
946
+
947
+
948
+ BENDER
949
+ Yeah. Now are you gonna come to the
950
+ squid fights with us or sit here wallowing
951
+ in your prehistoric junk?
952
+
953
+
954
+ FRY
955
+ Junk? Maybe you can't understand this
956
+ but I've finally found what I need to
957
+ be happy, and it's not friends: It's
958
+ things.
959
+
960
+
961
+ [He gets up and walks towards the door. Bender turns around.]
962
+
963
+
964
+
965
+ BENDER (SADLY)
966
+ I'm a thing.
967
+
968
+
969
+ FRY
970
+ Just leave me alone.
971
+
972
+
973
+ [Fry opens the door and Leela and Bender walk out.]
974
+
975
+
976
+ LEELA
977
+ Fry please. My ponytail's caught in
978
+ the door.
979
+
980
+
981
+ FRY
982
+ I don't need them. Not when I have my
983
+ antique videos, my bucket of fossilised
984
+ KFC and 50 million dollars worth of
985
+ anchovies.
986
+
987
+
988
+ [He kisses the tin of anchovies.]
989
+
990
+
991
+ [Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building Corridor. Mom walks towards
992
+ her office, followed by her sons.]
993
+
994
+
995
+ MOM
996
+ Mercy me, what a day.
997
+
998
+
999
+ [Cut to: Mom's Office.]
1000
+
1001
+
1002
+ MOM
1003
+ Could you shut the door, Igner dear?
1004
+ I think I feel a draught coming on.
1005
+ Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! Walt!
1006
+ Cream soda!
1007
+
1008
+
1009
+ [Walt is the oldest. He has a full head of black hair.]
1010
+
1011
+
1012
+ WALT
1013
+ Right away, mother. Larry, get your
1014
+ mother a cream soda.
1015
+
1016
+
1017
+ LARRY
1018
+ But Mom said --
1019
+
1020
+
1021
+ [Walt slaps him.]
1022
+
1023
+
1024
+ WALT
1025
+ You heard me.
1026
+
1027
+
1028
+ [Mom drinks the can of soda, throws it down then lights a cigarette.]
1029
+
1030
+
1031
+
1032
+ IGNER
1033
+ What's wrong, Mommy?
1034
+
1035
+
1036
+ MOM
1037
+ It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag,
1038
+ Fry, must know their secret. And I won't
1039
+ rest until I get my hands on them. No
1040
+ one messes with Mom!
1041
+
1042
+
1043
+ [She laughs evily. Walt laughs with her. Larry and Igner join
1044
+ in. Walt slaps Larry.]
1045
+
1046
+
1047
+ WALT
1048
+ Quiet, you!
1049
+
1050
+
1051
+ [Time Lapse. Mom is now sat behind a huge desk.]
1052
+
1053
+
1054
+ MOM
1055
+ As you boys know, one of the cornerstones
1056
+ of my empire is Mom's Old Fashioned
1057
+ Robot Oil. Think of it: 10 billion robots.
1058
+ Each one needing an oil change every
1059
+ 3000 miles. You don't have to do the
1060
+ math to know that's a buttload of oil.
1061
+
1062
+
1063
+
1064
+ IGNER
1065
+ Can I wear your fat suit?
1066
+
1067
+
1068
+ MOM
1069
+ (shouting): No, Igner, put that down.
1070
+
1071
+
1072
+
1073
+ [Igner drops the fat suit arm.]
1074
+
1075
+
1076
+ IGNER
1077
+ Aww.
1078
+
1079
+
1080
+ WALT
1081
+ What does this have to do with the anchovies?
1082
+
1083
+
1084
+
1085
+ MOM
1086
+ I'm getting to the freaking anchovies.
1087
+ A single drop of the anchovies natural
1088
+ oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.
1089
+
1090
+
1091
+
1092
+ LARRY
1093
+ Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.
1094
+
1095
+
1096
+
1097
+ MOM (SHOUTING)
1098
+ No it isn't, shut your filthy trap!
1099
+ (talking) Thank you, Walt. If anyone
1100
+ ever got a hold of anchovy DNA, they
1101
+ could chop out the oil-making gene,
1102
+ stick it in a bunch of third world kids
1103
+ and bam! Cheap effective robot oil.
1104
+ Enough to put dear old Mom out of businness.
1105
+
1106
+
1107
+
1108
+ WALT
1109
+ My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind
1110
+ of the highest order.
1111
+
1112
+
1113
+ [Cut to: Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry is sat in the dark
1114
+ watching Sanford & Son.]
1115
+
1116
+
1117
+ FRED
1118
+ Esther, you ugly!
1119
+
1120
+
1121
+ [Fry laughs.]
1122
+
1123
+
1124
+ [Cut to: Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building: Mom's Office.]
1125
+
1126
+
1127
+
1128
+ MOM
1129
+ We have only one option: We'll have
1130
+ to bankrupt Mr Fry, so he'll be forced
1131
+ to sell the anchovies to us.
1132
+
1133
+
1134
+ WALT
1135
+ Mother, you are one clever old skag!
1136
+
1137
+
1138
+
1139
+ MOM
1140
+ And don't you forget it!
1141
+
1142
+
1143
+ LARRY
1144
+ But how are we supposed to get Fry's
1145
+ money out of the bank?
1146
+
1147
+
1148
+ MOM
1149
+ That part will be easy, thanks to the
1150
+ nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video
1151
+ Surveillance Unit.
1152
+
1153
+
1154
+ [She puts another tape in. The scene at Big Apple Bank replays
1155
+ on the TV.]
1156
+
1157
+
1158
+ TELLER [ON TV]
1159
+ Do you still remember your PIN number?
1160
+
1161
+
1162
+
1163
+ FRY [ON TV]
1164
+ Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza
1165
+ and a large soda back where I used to
1166
+ work, Panucci's Pizza. It's the price
1167
+ of a cheese pizza and a large soda --
1168
+
1169
+
1170
+
1171
+ [Mom turns the TV off.]
1172
+
1173
+
1174
+ MOM
1175
+ You know what needs to be done.
1176
+
1177
+
1178
+ LARRY
1179
+ What?
1180
+
1181
+
1182
+ MOM (SHOUTING)
1183
+ Get his PIN number, you idiots! (talking)
1184
+ Now I'm off to some chairty BS for knocked-up
1185
+ teenage sluts.
1186
+
1187
+
1188
+ [Historic 20th Century Apartment. There is a knock at the door.]
1189
+
1190
+
1191
+
1192
+ WALT [FROM OUTSIDE]
1193
+ Mr. Fry. It's those three plumbers you
1194
+ called for.
1195
+
1196
+
1197
+ LARRY [FROM OUTSIDE]
1198
+ We're here to tighten your drains.
1199
+
1200
+
1201
+
1202
+ [The sounds of Walt's hand meeting Larry's face is heard. Fry
1203
+ opens the door.]
1204
+
1205
+
1206
+ FRY
1207
+ I didn't order any --
1208
+
1209
+
1210
+ [Walt and Igner jump on Fry and pin him to the floor.]
1211
+
1212
+
1213
+ WALT
1214
+ Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.
1215
+
1216
+
1217
+
1218
+ [Larry puts some tablets in Fry's mouth and strokes them down
1219
+ his throat.]
1220
+
1221
+
1222
+ LARRY
1223
+ That's a good boy.
1224
+
1225
+
1226
+ [Fry falls unconscious.]
1227
+
1228
+
1229
+ [Pizzeria Set. Fry comes around and sees a disguised Walt wearing
1230
+ a fake handlebar moustache.]
1231
+
1232
+
1233
+ WALT
1234
+ Wake up, Mr. Fry.
1235
+
1236
+
1237
+ FRY
1238
+ Where am I?
1239
+
1240
+
1241
+ WALT
1242
+ You're in the good old year 2000, working
1243
+ here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep
1244
+ on the job.
1245
+
1246
+
1247
+ FRY
1248
+ That sounds like me but, I thought I
1249
+ got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?
1250
+
1251
+
1252
+
1253
+ WALT
1254
+ No, you only "dreamed" you were in the
1255
+ year 3000.
1256
+
1257
+
1258
+ FRY
1259
+ So I'm really back? That's exactly what
1260
+ I wanted, I guess. Who are you?
1261
+
1262
+
1263
+ WALT
1264
+ I'm Mr. Panucci.
1265
+
1266
+
1267
+ FRY
1268
+ You are? Did you grow a moustache since
1269
+ last night?
1270
+
1271
+
1272
+ [Walt tears off the moustache.]
1273
+
1274
+
1275
+ WALT
1276
+ No. Now go work the currency register.
1277
+ I think I hear a customer coming...I
1278
+ said "I think I hear a customer coming"!
1279
+
1280
+
1281
+
1282
+ [Cut to: Backstage. Larry is forcing a dress over Igner's head.
1283
+ Pamela Anderson's head in jar is on a table.]
1284
+
1285
+
1286
+ ANDERSON
1287
+ Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to
1288
+ the head museum.
1289
+
1290
+
1291
+ LARRY
1292
+ Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't
1293
+ take long. Now, your motivation is you're
1294
+ back in the year 2000 and your head's
1295
+ still on your body, and you want a cheese
1296
+ pizza.
1297
+
1298
+
1299
+ [He picks up the jar and puts it on Igner's head.]
1300
+
1301
+
1302
+ ANDERSON
1303
+ OK, but I'm only doing this so people
1304
+ will take my head seriously as an actress.
1305
+
1306
+
1307
+
1308
+ [Cut to: Pizzeria Set. Fry notices something on a sign above
1309
+ him.]
1310
+
1311
+
1312
+ FRY
1313
+ Hey, look! Anchovies!
1314
+
1315
+
1316
+ WALT
1317
+ Of course. They're not extinct yet.
1318
+ And if you need further proof that this
1319
+ is really a thousand years ago well,
1320
+ here's contemporary actress, Pamela
1321
+ Anderson!
1322
+
1323
+
1324
+ [Enter Pamela Anderson on top of Igner.]
1325
+
1326
+
1327
+ FRY
1328
+ Ooh!
1329
+
1330
+
1331
+ ANDERSON
1332
+ Hello, Fry. Remember me from Baywatch:
1333
+ The Movie?
1334
+
1335
+
1336
+ FRY
1337
+ Uh...
1338
+
1339
+
1340
+ ANDERSON
1341
+ It was the first movie to be shot entirely
1342
+ in slow motion.
1343
+
1344
+
1345
+ [Walt leans in to Anderson.]
1346
+
1347
+
1348
+ WALT (WHISPERING)
1349
+ It hasn't been made yet.
1350
+
1351
+
1352
+
1353
+ [Walt shakes his head.]
1354
+
1355
+
1356
+ WALT
1357
+ Nope.
1358
+
1359
+
1360
+ ANDERSON
1361
+ Crap!
1362
+
1363
+
1364
+ FRY
1365
+ Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool!
1366
+ What can I get you?
1367
+
1368
+
1369
+ ANDERSON
1370
+ Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large...uh...line?
1371
+
1372
+
1373
+
1374
+ [Larry whispers from backstage.]
1375
+
1376
+
1377
+ LARRY (WHISPERING)
1378
+ Soda!
1379
+
1380
+
1381
+ ANDERSON
1382
+ Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large
1383
+ soda!
1384
+
1385
+
1386
+ FRY
1387
+ Uh, cheese and a -- That was quick!
1388
+
1389
+
1390
+
1391
+ ANDERSON
1392
+ So. What do I owe you?
1393
+
1394
+
1395
+ FRY
1396
+ 10.77. Same as my PIN number.
1397
+
1398
+
1399
+ [Walt, Larry, Igner and Anderson laugh. Fry is unsure of what
1400
+ is happening so just laughs along with them.]
1401
+
1402
+
1403
+ IGNER
1404
+ Hey, you don't get to laugh.
1405
+
1406
+
1407
+ [He hits Fry on the head with Anderson's jar.]
1408
+
1409
+
1410
+ [Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A white limo pulls
1411
+ up outside and the brothers throw Fry out onto the pavement.
1412
+ There are bags of money in the limo.]
1413
+
1414
+
1415
+ [Cut to: Limo. Igner is driving.]
1416
+
1417
+
1418
+ IGNER
1419
+ Thanks a billion!
1420
+
1421
+
1422
+ [He laughs. Larry counts the cash in the back.]
1423
+
1424
+
1425
+ LARRY
1426
+ More like 4.3 billion!
1427
+
1428
+
1429
+ [He laughs with Igner. Walt slaps them both.]
1430
+
1431
+
1432
+ IGNER
1433
+ Ow!
1434
+
1435
+
1436
+ LARRY
1437
+ Ow!
1438
+
1439
+
1440
+ [The limo speeds off and Fry blacks out into a dream.]
1441
+
1442
+
1443
+ [Cut to: Fry's Dream. Pizza's, 1077's and anchovy tins float
1444
+ around him. Leela's and Bender's heads float towards him.]
1445
+
1446
+
1447
+
1448
+ FRY
1449
+ Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year
1450
+ 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm
1451
+ so glad I'm awake now and you're really
1452
+ here.
1453
+
1454
+
1455
+ LEELA
1456
+ Since when do you care about us?
1457
+
1458
+
1459
+ BENDER
1460
+ We thought you only cared about cans
1461
+ of anchovies and stuffy old songs about
1462
+ the buttocks.
1463
+
1464
+
1465
+ FRY
1466
+ No, that's not true!
1467
+
1468
+
1469
+ [Leela and Bender float away.]
1470
+
1471
+
1472
+ LEELA
1473
+ Goodbye-eee!
1474
+
1475
+
1476
+ BENDER
1477
+ Wheee!
1478
+
1479
+
1480
+ [A pack of Lightspeeds appear in the corner.]
1481
+
1482
+
1483
+
1484
+ [Fry comes to. A repobot walks out of his apartment with his
1485
+ TV.]
1486
+
1487
+
1488
+ FRY
1489
+ Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait
1490
+ a minute! Hey, buddy what year is this?
1491
+
1492
+
1493
+
1494
+ REPOBOT
1495
+ Uh, 3000.
1496
+
1497
+
1498
+ FRY
1499
+ 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future!
1500
+ Life is wonderful! Wait! What are you
1501
+ doing with my stuff?
1502
+
1503
+
1504
+ REPOBOT
1505
+ Uh, check bounced. We're taking it all
1506
+ back.
1507
+
1508
+
1509
+ FRY
1510
+ Oh, no, my ATM card! My secret PIN number!
1511
+ 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...
1512
+
1513
+
1514
+
1515
+ [He pulls the tin of anchovies out of his sock.]
1516
+
1517
+
1518
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Bender are sat on the couch
1519
+ and Farnsworth is sat at the table.]
1520
+
1521
+
1522
+ LEELA
1523
+ You're Fry's relative. Do you have any
1524
+ idea how he got so crazy?
1525
+
1526
+
1527
+ FARNSWORTH
1528
+ Uh, wha? Oh, yes, they say madness runs
1529
+ in our family. Some even call me mad!
1530
+ And why? Because I dared to dream of
1531
+ my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic
1532
+ supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies
1533
+ that suck blood out of...
1534
+
1535
+
1536
+ [He walks out still blabbering. Enter Fry.]
1537
+
1538
+
1539
+ FRY
1540
+ Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!
1541
+
1542
+
1543
+
1544
+ LEELA
1545
+ You did? What happened?
1546
+
1547
+
1548
+ FRY
1549
+ I was robbed. They got everything except
1550
+ these.
1551
+
1552
+
1553
+ [He holds up the anchovies.]
1554
+
1555
+
1556
+ BENDER
1557
+ Who did?
1558
+
1559
+
1560
+ [Leela gasps at something across the room. Mom is stood in the
1561
+ doorway wearing her fat suit.]
1562
+
1563
+
1564
+ MOM
1565
+ Hello, Fry.
1566
+
1567
+
1568
+ LEELA
1569
+ It's Mom.
1570
+
1571
+
1572
+ MOM
1573
+ I felt terrible when I heard about your
1574
+ money troubles and I thought maybe I
1575
+ could help out a sweet young man by
1576
+ buying his anchovies.
1577
+
1578
+
1579
+ FRY
1580
+ Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for
1581
+ sale.
1582
+
1583
+
1584
+ MOM
1585
+ What? Listen, you little bastard. I
1586
+ control the robot oil business and I
1587
+ won't let you ruin me. How much do you
1588
+ want?
1589
+
1590
+
1591
+ FRY
1592
+ You might as well put that chequebook
1593
+ away, because I've discovered something
1594
+ even more important. My friends. And
1595
+ they aren't worth even a penny to me.
1596
+ That's why these anchovies are going
1597
+ on a pizza, so I can share the food
1598
+ I love with the people I like.
1599
+
1600
+
1601
+ MOM
1602
+ Holy hell! You're going to eat them?
1603
+ Oh, well. Just make sure you eat them
1604
+ all. You're a growing boy. Toodle-oo!
1605
+ Dumb ass!
1606
+
1607
+
1608
+ FRY
1609
+ What a nice lady!
1610
+
1611
+
1612
+ [Time Lapse. The whole staff except for Zoidberg are gathered
1613
+ around the table. Fry opens the tin of anchovies.]
1614
+
1615
+
1616
+ FRY
1617
+ OK, my friends. Get ready for the most
1618
+ delicious extinct animal you've ever
1619
+ tasted.
1620
+
1621
+
1622
+ AMY
1623
+ I don't know, I've had cow. Ew! Gross!
1624
+
1625
+
1626
+
1627
+ FRY
1628
+ Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll
1629
+ grow on you.
1630
+
1631
+
1632
+ [Enter Zoidberg. He sniffs.]
1633
+
1634
+
1635
+ ZOIDBERG
1636
+ That stench. That heavenly stench!
1637
+ More!
1638
+
1639
+
1640
+ FRY
1641
+ There aren't any more. And there never
1642
+ will be.
1643
+
1644
+
1645
+ [Zoidberg tips the table over and moves towards Fry, raising
1646
+ his claws.]
1647
+
1648
+
1649
+ ZOIDBERG
1650
+ More! More! More! More!
1651
+
1652
+
1653
+ THE END
content/my_data/s1e7.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1625 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ FUTURAMA
2
+
3
+ Episode 107
4
+
5
+ "MY THREE SUNS"
6
+
7
+ By
8
+
9
+ J. Stewart Burns
10
+
11
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
12
+
13
+
14
+
15
+ [Outside Robot Wash. Bender inserts a coin and chooses his wash
16
+ program from regular, deluxe and sub-standard. He selects deluxe
17
+ and steps onto a conveyor belt. It moves forward and Rose Royce's
18
+ Car Wash plays. Bender pushes down his antenna and sings his
19
+ own words.]
20
+
21
+
22
+ BENDER
23
+ (singing) Going through the 'bot wash!
24
+
25
+
26
+
27
+ [Cut to: Robot Wash.]
28
+
29
+
30
+ BENDER
31
+ (singing) Goin' through the robot wash!
32
+
33
+
34
+ C'mon, y'all and sing it with me
35
+
36
+ 'Bot wash! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
37
+
38
+ 'Bot wash, yeah!
39
+
40
+
41
+ [A huge drying machine dries him. He sees an undercoating machine
42
+ and puts a quarter in. The machine clamps around his legs and
43
+ he is in ecstasy as the machine does the undercoating.]
44
+
45
+
46
+ [Cut to: Outside Robot Wash. He comes out the other side of the
47
+ Robot Wash and it hangs a pine tree air freshener around his
48
+ neck. He turns round and admires his shiny metal ass.]
49
+
50
+
51
+ BENDER
52
+ Ah! Aww!
53
+
54
+
55
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: Presented in Doublevision Doublevision
56
+ (Where Drunk)]
57
+
58
+
59
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Bender sits down to watch Essence of
60
+ Elzar, a cooking show presented by Neptunian chef Elzar and a
61
+ not-so-subtle parody of Essence Of Emeril. Elzar has black hair,
62
+ and the usual four arms a Neptunian has.]
63
+
64
+
65
+ ELZAR
66
+ Hey, I'm Elzar! Welcome to the show!
67
+ You know, you don't have to drive all
68
+ the way to Neptune for great Neptunian
69
+ food. Today we're gonna kick it up a
70
+ notch as I show you how to fricassee
71
+ a mouth-watering Neptunian slug. Now
72
+ while you grease the pan and preheat
73
+ your oven to 3500 degrees you're gonna
74
+ separate the yolk from your genetically-enhanced
75
+ eggplant and then give the whole thing
76
+ a good blast from your spice weasel
77
+ - bam!
78
+
79
+
80
+ [Enter Fry and Leela. Leela is wearing a green top instead of
81
+ her usual white one.]
82
+
83
+
84
+ FRY
85
+ Hey, what you watching?
86
+
87
+
88
+ [Bender quickly turns off the TV.]
89
+
90
+
91
+ BENDER
92
+ Uh, nothing!
93
+
94
+
95
+ LEELA
96
+ Is that a cooking show?
97
+
98
+
99
+ BENDER
100
+ No, of course not! It was...uh...porno!
101
+ Yeah that's it!
102
+
103
+
104
+ [Leela turns the TV back on and sees the programme.]
105
+
106
+
107
+ LEELA
108
+ Bender! I didn't know you liked cooking!
109
+ That's so cute!
110
+
111
+
112
+ BENDER
113
+ (ashamed) Oh, it's true! I've been hiding
114
+ it for so long.
115
+
116
+
117
+ FRY
118
+ Its OK, Bender, I like cooking too.
119
+
120
+
121
+
122
+ BENDER (WHISPERING)
123
+ Pansy!
124
+
125
+
126
+ ELZAR
127
+ Of course, your most important ingredient
128
+ is this baby right here: the Neptunian
129
+ slug. You can get it in a can but to
130
+ really do things right you gotta strangle
131
+ yourself a fresh one. Now this is why
132
+ you gotta use cast-iron cookware.
133
+
134
+
135
+
136
+ [He starts hitting the slug between it's eye stalks with a frying
137
+ pan. Bender watches and is spooked when the slug does something
138
+ to Elzar.]
139
+
140
+
141
+ [Planet Express: Hermes' Office. Outside the office a sign flashes
142
+ indicating there is a chewing out happening inside.]
143
+
144
+
145
+ HERMES
146
+ Bender, man. It has come to my attention
147
+ that this company has been paying you
148
+ to do nothing but loaf about on the
149
+ couch.
150
+
151
+
152
+ BENDER
153
+ You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!
154
+
155
+
156
+
157
+ HERMES
158
+ I'm sorry but if you want to continue
159
+ drawing a salary you gotta do more than
160
+ watch the cooking shows all day.
161
+
162
+
163
+ BENDER
164
+ Hmm.
165
+
166
+
167
+ [He rubs his chin.]
168
+
169
+
170
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Fry are sat at the table while
171
+ Bender stands next to it wearing a chef's hat and an apron.]
172
+
173
+
174
+
175
+ FRY
176
+ You're gonna be the ship's cook?
177
+
178
+
179
+ BENDER
180
+ Yeah! We're gonna kick it up a notch.
181
+ Bam!
182
+
183
+
184
+ LEELA
185
+ I know you like cooking shows but you're
186
+ a robot, you don't even have a sense
187
+ of taste.
188
+
189
+
190
+ BENDER
191
+ Honey, I wouldn't talk about taste if
192
+ I was wearing a lime green tank top.
193
+
194
+
195
+
196
+ FRY
197
+ Bam!
198
+
199
+
200
+ [Little Neptune Street. Fry, Leela and Bender walk through an
201
+ area of New New York City where bums and lowlifes hang around.]
202
+
203
+
204
+
205
+ FRY
206
+ So this is Little Neptune?
207
+
208
+
209
+ BENDER
210
+ Yep. Every chef knows that this is the
211
+ place to get exotic gourmet ingredients.
212
+
213
+
214
+
215
+ LEELA
216
+ Among other things.
217
+
218
+
219
+ [In an alleyway a crack addict stands in front of what looks
220
+ like a normal vending machine but is actually a crack dispenser.
221
+ He inserts a coin and the machine starts twisting a tube of crack
222
+ out but it jams. The crack addict starts clawing the glass.]
223
+
224
+
225
+
226
+ CRACK ADDICT
227
+ Come on, man, don't hold out on me like
228
+ this!
229
+
230
+
231
+ [Fry walks past a man who wears a long coat.]
232
+
233
+
234
+ ORGAN DEALER
235
+ Psst! You want to buy organ? Fresh
236
+ and cheap. Ready for transplant!
237
+
238
+
239
+ FRY
240
+ Ooh! What's this?
241
+
242
+
243
+ ORGAN DEALER
244
+ Ah! Is X-Ray eyes. See through anything!
245
+
246
+
247
+
248
+ [Fry reads the label.]
249
+
250
+
251
+ FRY
252
+ Wait a minute! This says Z-Ray.
253
+
254
+
255
+ ORGAN DEALER
256
+ Z is just as good. In fact, is better.
257
+ Is two more than X.
258
+
259
+
260
+ FRY
261
+ Hmm, I can see where that would be an
262
+ advantage. Do you take cash?
263
+
264
+
265
+ [He takes out his wallet but Leela quickly pulls him away and
266
+ they carry on walking.]
267
+
268
+
269
+ LEELA
270
+ Fry, you have to be more careful. We're
271
+ not in the 20th century. You don't know
272
+ how things work here.
273
+
274
+
275
+ FRY
276
+ I'm not a little kid, Leela. I grew
277
+ up in this city. These are my people.
278
+ What up?
279
+
280
+
281
+ ALIEN
282
+ Word!
283
+
284
+
285
+ FRY
286
+ See?
287
+
288
+
289
+ [Little Neptune Market. The trio look around at what is on offer.]
290
+
291
+
292
+
293
+ FRY
294
+ Wow! You guys sell every kind of meat
295
+ here except human!
296
+
297
+
298
+
299
+ [In an aisle Leela picks up a jar.]
300
+
301
+
302
+ LEELA
303
+ What's this spice for?
304
+
305
+
306
+
307
+ LEELA
308
+ Oh! That's ridiculous. (whispering)
309
+ I'll take two pounds!
310
+
311
+
312
+ [At the meat counter Bender looks at tubbed slug and I Can't
313
+ Believe It's Not Slug. He looks up at the salesman.]
314
+
315
+
316
+ BENDER
317
+ Hey, buddy. I'm looking for fresh slug.
318
+
319
+
320
+
321
+
322
+ BENDER
323
+ Whatever.
324
+
325
+
326
+
327
+ BENDER
328
+ Yeah, yeah, either one's fine.
329
+
330
+
331
+ LEELA
332
+ Hey, have you seen Fry?
333
+
334
+
335
+ [Cut to: Little Neptune Street. Fry is back with the organ dealer
336
+ in the alley.]
337
+
338
+
339
+ FRY
340
+ Now that you mention it, I do have trouble
341
+ breathing underwater sometimes. I'll
342
+ take the gills.
343
+
344
+
345
+ ORGAN DEALER
346
+ Yes, gills. Then, uh, you don't need
347
+ lungs anymore, is right?
348
+
349
+
350
+ FRY
351
+ Can't imagine why I would.
352
+
353
+
354
+ ORGAN DEALER
355
+ Lie down on table. I take lungs now,
356
+ gills come next week. (shouting) Nurse!
357
+
358
+
359
+
360
+ [A huge man comes over and holds down Fry's arms.]
361
+
362
+
363
+ NURSE
364
+ Let's do it.
365
+
366
+
367
+ ORGAN DEALER
368
+ You may feel small pain --
369
+
370
+
371
+ [Leela punches him in the face and he falls over. Then she kicks
372
+ the nurse to the floor. The organ dealer runs away down the alley
373
+ and throws his scalpel back at Leela. She dives out of the way
374
+ and it flies into Bender's chest cabinet. He closes the door.]
375
+
376
+
377
+
378
+ BENDER
379
+ (shouting) Thank you!
380
+
381
+
382
+ [Planet Express: Lounge. Fry sits at the table while Leela scolds
383
+ him.]
384
+
385
+
386
+ LEELA
387
+ What the hell were you doing? I warned
388
+ you to stay away from those guys.
389
+
390
+
391
+
392
+ FRY
393
+ I'm capable of making my own decisions,
394
+ Leela. Did you ever stop to think I
395
+ might be happier with gills?
396
+
397
+
398
+ [Enter Farnsworth.]
399
+
400
+
401
+ FARNSWORTH
402
+ Good news, everyone...
403
+
404
+
405
+ BENDER
406
+ Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that.
407
+
408
+
409
+
410
+ FARNSWORTH
411
+ ...you'll be making a delivery to the
412
+ planet Trisol...
413
+
414
+
415
+ BENDER
416
+ Here it comes.
417
+
418
+
419
+ FARNSWORTH
420
+ ...A mysterious world in the darkest
421
+ depths of the Forbidden Zone.
422
+
423
+
424
+ BENDER
425
+ Thank you, and goodnight.
426
+
427
+
428
+ LEELA
429
+ Uh, Professor, are we even allowed in
430
+ the Forbidden Zone?
431
+
432
+
433
+ FARNSWORTH
434
+ Why, of course! Its just a name! Like
435
+ the Death Zone or the Zone Of No Return.
436
+ All the zones have names like that in
437
+ the Galaxy Of Terror!
438
+
439
+
440
+ LEELA
441
+ Uh, Professor...
442
+
443
+
444
+ FARNSWORTH
445
+ Off you go, pleasant trip.
446
+
447
+
448
+ [Ships Cockpit. Zoidberg and Amy join the crew on the mission.
449
+ Bender is not with them. Fry leans back in his chair and shouts
450
+ down a hole in the floor.]
451
+
452
+
453
+ FRY
454
+ (shouting) Hey Bender how's dinner coming?
455
+
456
+
457
+
458
+ BENDER
459
+ Almost ready!
460
+
461
+
462
+ [Cut to: Ships Galley. Bender is wearing his chef's hat and a
463
+ new apron which says To Serve Man. He takes the Neptunian slug
464
+ out of a pot of boiling water, puts it on a plate and puts an
465
+ apple in its mouth.]
466
+
467
+
468
+ BENDER
469
+ Now for a dash of salt! Uh-oh!
470
+
471
+
472
+ [Ships Mess. The crew are all ready to eat. Bender carves the
473
+ tiny, deflated slug. Leela leans in to the rest of the crew.]
474
+
475
+
476
+
477
+ LEELA
478
+ (whispering) Listen, this is Bender's
479
+ first meal and he's a little sensitive.
480
+ So let's be supportive, OK?
481
+
482
+
483
+ FRY
484
+ Yeah, OK.
485
+
486
+
487
+ ZOIDBERG
488
+ Alright.
489
+
490
+
491
+ [They start eating.]
492
+
493
+
494
+ LEELA
495
+ (shouting) Oh, dear God!
496
+
497
+
498
+ [She spits the slug out and so does everyone else.]
499
+
500
+
501
+ FRY
502
+ That's the saltiest thing I've ever
503
+ tasted. And I once a big heaping bowl
504
+ of salt!
505
+
506
+
507
+ [Everyone guzzles down a glass of water and once again they spit
508
+ it out.]
509
+
510
+
511
+ AMY
512
+ Bender, is this salt water?
513
+
514
+
515
+ BENDER
516
+ It's salt with water in it if that's
517
+ what you mean.
518
+
519
+
520
+ [Fry waves his hand in front of his eyes.]
521
+
522
+
523
+ FRY
524
+ My vision's fading. I think I'm gonna
525
+ die.
526
+
527
+
528
+ BENDER
529
+ There was nothing wrong with that food.
530
+ The salt level was 10% less than a lethal
531
+ dose.
532
+
533
+
534
+ ZOIDBERG
535
+ Uh-oh, I shouldn't have had seconds.
536
+
537
+
538
+
539
+ [The ship speeds towards the Planet Trisol.]
540
+
541
+
542
+ [Trisol Surface. The ship lands on a landing pad in a desert.]
543
+
544
+
545
+
546
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]
547
+
548
+
549
+ LEELA
550
+ OK, Fry, here's the package to deliver
551
+ and for once in your life be careful.
552
+ This is my first visit to the Galaxy
553
+ Of Terror and I'd like it to be a pleasant
554
+ one.
555
+
556
+
557
+ [She slaps Fry who is mimicking her with his hand.]
558
+
559
+
560
+ FRY
561
+ Ow!
562
+
563
+
564
+ LEELA
565
+ Don't touch anything or talk to anyone.
566
+ Just go to the palace, drop it off and
567
+ come right back.
568
+
569
+
570
+ FRY
571
+ Jeez, will you lay off! I was delivering
572
+ things before you were born! I think
573
+ I know what I'm doing.
574
+
575
+
576
+ [He walks off without the package and quickly returns for it.]
577
+
578
+
579
+
580
+ [Trisol Surface. Fry is walking across the desert in the sweltering
581
+ heat.]
582
+
583
+
584
+ FRY
585
+ Stupid slug. I've never been so thirsty.
586
+ Oh, come on! Go down already! Ah!
587
+
588
+
589
+
590
+ [On the other side of him two other much larger suns rise over
591
+ the horizon.]
592
+
593
+
594
+ [Time Lapse. Fry nears the Trisol Palace, climbs the huge staircase
595
+ and enters the palace.]
596
+
597
+
598
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace Throne Room. It is deserted.]
599
+
600
+
601
+ FRY
602
+ Hello? Anybody home?
603
+
604
+
605
+ [He reads the package address. It is addressed to the Emperor.
606
+ He decides to leave it on the throne. He sees a bottle of water
607
+ beside the throne, looks around, then drinks the entire contents.
608
+ Two pools of water close in on him and form into humanoid shapes.
609
+ Guards.]
610
+
611
+
612
+ GUARD #1
613
+ The royal bottle is empty!
614
+
615
+
616
+ [The second guard gasps.]
617
+
618
+
619
+ GUARD #2
620
+ You drank our Emperor!
621
+
622
+
623
+ FRY
624
+ No! It wasn't me!
625
+
626
+
627
+ [He burps a small bubble of the Emperor. He pops it and laughs
628
+ nervously.]
629
+
630
+
631
+ [Time Lapse. More guards have come in.]
632
+
633
+
634
+ GUARD #1
635
+ You drank our Emperor! You assassinated
636
+ him.
637
+
638
+
639
+ FRY
640
+ I didn't mean to. He just looked so
641
+ cool and refreshing.
642
+
643
+
644
+ GUARD #3
645
+ I'm sure he was.
646
+
647
+
648
+ GUARD #1
649
+ But now he's gone and your fate is sealed.
650
+ All hail the new Emperor.
651
+
652
+
653
+ [The guards bow to Fry.]
654
+
655
+
656
+ GUARDS
657
+ (chanting) Hail! Hail! Hail!
658
+
659
+
660
+ [Time Lapse. Fry is sat on the Emperor's throne with two Trisolian
661
+ women at his side fanning him. The rest of the Planet Express
662
+ crew have arrived.]
663
+
664
+
665
+ LEELA
666
+ So after I specifically asked you not
667
+ to touch anything, you drank a bottle
668
+ of strange blue liquid? It could have
669
+ been poisonous acid!
670
+
671
+
672
+ FRY
673
+ It could have been. But chances were
674
+ equally good it was an Emperor.
675
+
676
+
677
+ [Enter a Trisolian.]
678
+
679
+
680
+ MERG
681
+ Excuse me, Your Majesty, I am Merg,
682
+ the High Priest. If I might interject?
683
+
684
+
685
+
686
+ FRY
687
+ You might.
688
+
689
+
690
+ MERG
691
+ I humbly advise that as your first act
692
+ you choose a capable Prime Minister.
693
+ I suggest Gorgak, the previous appointee.
694
+
695
+
696
+
697
+ GORGAK
698
+ I will be a forceful and effective administrator.
699
+
700
+
701
+
702
+ BENDER
703
+ You know, Fry, I've often thought about
704
+ becoming a Prime Minister.
705
+
706
+
707
+ FRY
708
+ I gotta go with Bender.
709
+
710
+
711
+ BENDER
712
+ Yes! In your face, Gorgak!
713
+
714
+
715
+ LEELA
716
+ That's it, Fry. As your captain I order
717
+ you back to the ship. You are in way
718
+ over your head.
719
+
720
+
721
+ FRY
722
+ Gee, you think so, Captain? I'd better
723
+ check with my Prime Minister.
724
+
725
+
726
+ [Bender is now sat being fanned.]
727
+
728
+
729
+ BENDER
730
+ Stay the course, pal!
731
+
732
+
733
+ GORGAK
734
+ Your Highness, a package came for you.
735
+
736
+
737
+
738
+ [He hands Fry the same package he was supposed to deliver earlier.]
739
+
740
+
741
+
742
+ FRY
743
+ Hey, thanks! Wow! This got here just
744
+ in time.
745
+
746
+
747
+ [He hangs it on a column next to his throne.]
748
+
749
+
750
+ [Trisol Palace Harem. The room is full of shelves which are full
751
+ of bottles of Trisolians. Merg is with Fry.]
752
+
753
+
754
+ MERG
755
+ This is Your Majesty's harem. You may
756
+ choose any of these maidens to be your
757
+ royal consort.
758
+
759
+
760
+ FRY
761
+ Umm, how about that one?
762
+
763
+
764
+ [He points to a random bottle.]
765
+
766
+
767
+ MERG
768
+ Oh! I didn't realise Your Majesty was
769
+ into that sort of thing!
770
+
771
+
772
+ FRY
773
+ On second thought, I'll take that one.
774
+
775
+
776
+
777
+ [He points to another random bottle.]
778
+
779
+
780
+ MERG
781
+ Hey, whatever you say, I'm not here
782
+ to pass judgement.
783
+
784
+
785
+ [Trisol Palace Throne Room. The crew are lounging around enjoying
786
+ themselves. Amy is stirring a glass of water with her finger.
787
+ Leela paces up and down.]
788
+
789
+
790
+ LEELA
791
+ Does anyone else think it's odd that
792
+ a shiftless 25-year-old delivery boy
793
+ could drop out of the sky, kill the
794
+ emperor and be rewarded instead of punished?
795
+
796
+
797
+
798
+ FRY
799
+ You don't have to beat around the bush,
800
+ Leela, we all know who you're talking
801
+ about...uh, me, right?
802
+
803
+
804
+ AMY
805
+ I don't think you have anything to worry
806
+ about. These people seem really mild-mannered.
807
+
808
+
809
+
810
+ ZOIDBERG
811
+ They are mild. In fact, you're soaking
812
+ in one right now.
813
+
814
+
815
+ [Amy screams and takes her finger out of the glass. Gorgak appears
816
+ from it.]
817
+
818
+
819
+ GORGAK
820
+ You touched me in ways I've never been
821
+ touched before.
822
+
823
+
824
+ [Enter Merg.]
825
+
826
+
827
+ MERG
828
+ Ah, there you are, Your Majesty. It's
829
+ time to begin preparing for tomorrow's
830
+ coronation ceremony.
831
+
832
+
833
+ ZOIDBERG
834
+ A fancy dress gala! I'll wear my formal
835
+ shell.
836
+
837
+
838
+ MERG
839
+ Fry will be enthroned tomorrow at the
840
+ setting of the three suns when we Trisolians
841
+ enter our nocturnal phase.
842
+
843
+
844
+ FRY
845
+ There won't be a lot of long-winded
846
+ speeches, will there?
847
+
848
+
849
+ MERG
850
+ Only one. The absolutely flawless recitation
851
+ from memory of the royal oath. By you.
852
+
853
+
854
+
855
+ FRY
856
+ Will there be cake?
857
+
858
+
859
+ [Trisolian Banquet Hall. It is the Pre-Coronation Gala. Trisolians
860
+ perform on a stage. Zoidberg talks to two Trisolians.]
861
+
862
+
863
+ ZOIDBERG
864
+ Yeah, I know.
865
+
866
+
867
+ AMY
868
+ Hi!
869
+
870
+
871
+ [She wiggles her fingers. Fry pours a glass of something for
872
+ Merg.]
873
+
874
+
875
+ FRY
876
+ There you go.
877
+
878
+
879
+ [The Trisolians playing the liquid harmonica with themselves
880
+ as the liquid finish. The audience applauds and Gorgak takes
881
+ the stage.]
882
+
883
+
884
+ GORGAK
885
+ And now, get ready to laugh til your
886
+ sides leak with our planet's foremost
887
+ political satirist, Florp!
888
+
889
+
890
+ [He leaves and Florp walks onto the stage.]
891
+
892
+
893
+ FLORP
894
+ So what is the deal with people from
895
+ under the orange sun? They're all...
896
+ But us guys from under the red sun,
897
+ we're like... Right? Am I right?
898
+
899
+
900
+ FRY
901
+ Oh, yeah! Yeah, he's right!
902
+
903
+
904
+ LEELA
905
+ (whispering) Fry, I have to talk to
906
+ you. You're in terrible danger.
907
+
908
+
909
+ [Trisol Palace Corridor. On the walls of the corridor are paintings
910
+ of past Trisolian Emperors.]
911
+
912
+
913
+ LEELA
914
+ You see Emperor Plon here? He met his
915
+ end when he was drunk by Emperor Strug.
916
+ And before he could even wipe his mouth,
917
+ Strug was drunk by Shwab.
918
+
919
+
920
+ FRY
921
+ So?
922
+
923
+
924
+ LEELA
925
+ Look at all these guys. Do you have
926
+ any idea what the average length of
927
+ their reigns was?
928
+
929
+
930
+ FRY
931
+ 80,000 years?
932
+
933
+
934
+ LEELA
935
+ No. One week.
936
+
937
+
938
+ FRY
939
+ Damn! I knew you wouldn't have asked
940
+ unless it was really high or really
941
+ low.
942
+
943
+
944
+ LEELA
945
+ Every Emperor ascended to power by assassinating
946
+ the previous one. And guess who's next?
947
+
948
+
949
+
950
+ [She points at Fry's portrait. Fry looks at some empty frames
951
+ labelled Fry's Assassin and Fry's Assassin's Assassin. He points
952
+ at the last one.]
953
+
954
+
955
+ FRY
956
+ Well at least my assassin will get what's
957
+ coming to him.
958
+
959
+
960
+ LEELA
961
+ You're in tremendous danger, you idiot!
962
+ Half of these Emperors were drunk at
963
+ their own coronation.
964
+
965
+
966
+ FRY
967
+ Hey, I plan on having a few brewskis
968
+ myself.
969
+
970
+
971
+ LEELA
972
+ No, they were assassinated. In fact,
973
+ the law says you'll be killed on the
974
+ spot if you fail to recite the oath
975
+ from memory.
976
+
977
+
978
+ [She holds up a book called Oath Vol. I.]
979
+
980
+
981
+ FRY
982
+ Yeah, I was going to thumb through that
983
+ later.
984
+
985
+
986
+ LEELA
987
+ That is completely reckless. Don't you
988
+ ever think ahead?
989
+
990
+
991
+ FRY
992
+ Hell, no. If I stopped to think ahead,
993
+ I wouldn't be Emperor. And I wouldn't
994
+ even be here in the year 3000. It's
995
+ just like the story of the grasshopper
996
+ and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper
997
+ kept burying acorns for winter while
998
+ the octopus mooched off his girlfriend
999
+ and watched TV. But then the winter
1000
+ came and the grasshopper died and the
1001
+ octopus ate all his acorns and also
1002
+ he got a racecar. Is any of this getting
1003
+ through to you?
1004
+
1005
+
1006
+ LEELA
1007
+ I give up! You're gonna get yourself
1008
+ killed and this time I won't be here
1009
+ to save you.
1010
+
1011
+
1012
+ FRY
1013
+ Who asked you to? I told you a hundred
1014
+ times to stop treating me like a baby.
1015
+ Now go. Go gather your nuts you nagging
1016
+ grasshopper.
1017
+
1018
+
1019
+ [Leela angrily throws down the book.]
1020
+
1021
+
1022
+ LEELA
1023
+ That's it! I'm never helping you again!
1024
+ If anyone except you needs me, I'll
1025
+ be in the ship.
1026
+
1027
+
1028
+ [She storms off.]
1029
+
1030
+
1031
+ FRY
1032
+ I'll be fine. It's not like anyone's
1033
+ gonna drink me. Quit it!
1034
+
1035
+
1036
+ [He knocks the straw away from his neck and it disappears back
1037
+ into the hole in the painting.]
1038
+
1039
+
1040
+ [Trisol Palace Front Balcony. The Planet Express crew sans Leela
1041
+ are gathered with Fry. Merg is on a podium facing across the
1042
+ Trisolian Surface where millions of Trisolians are gathered to
1043
+ hear Fry's oath.]
1044
+
1045
+
1046
+ MERG
1047
+ People of Trisol, it is my honour to
1048
+ present your new Emperor!
1049
+
1050
+
1051
+ [The Trisolians applaud Fry, who takes Merg's place on the podium.
1052
+ Fry clears his throat.]
1053
+
1054
+
1055
+ FRY
1056
+ What up?
1057
+
1058
+
1059
+ [Silence from the crowd.]
1060
+
1061
+
1062
+ MERG
1063
+ Stick to the oath.
1064
+
1065
+
1066
+ FRY
1067
+ Right! I, Fry, who drank Bont the Viscous,
1068
+ who drank Ungo the Moist, who guzzled
1069
+ Zorn the Stagnant...
1070
+
1071
+
1072
+ [Time Lapse. The suns are nearly set. Fry is still reciting the
1073
+ oath by reading it from his arm.]
1074
+
1075
+
1076
+ FRY
1077
+ ...who slurped Hudge the Dewy, who enjoyed
1078
+ a soup composed principally of Throm
1079
+ the Chunky, do solemnly swear to rule
1080
+ with honour and insanity - uh, integrity!
1081
+
1082
+
1083
+
1084
+ MERG
1085
+ Congratulations, Your Highness. I now
1086
+ present you with your royal unisex robe.
1087
+ Long live Fry The Solid!
1088
+
1089
+
1090
+ [He puts the robe on Fry. The Trisolians cheer. The suns begin
1091
+ to go down.]
1092
+
1093
+
1094
+ BENDER
1095
+ Hey, look. The suns are setting. I can
1096
+ finally switch to hard liquor!
1097
+
1098
+
1099
+ [He gets a bottle out of his chest cabinet. The three suns set
1100
+ and the Trisolians begin to turn a lighter shade of blue.]
1101
+
1102
+
1103
+
1104
+ BENDER
1105
+ Check out the glowing freaks. It's beautiful!
1106
+ Hey, what's that?
1107
+
1108
+
1109
+ [He points at Fry's stomach. It is turning blue and growing a
1110
+ face. The Trisolians gasp and quickly return to normal shade.]
1111
+
1112
+
1113
+
1114
+ MERG
1115
+ The Emperor Bont! He's still alive.
1116
+
1117
+
1118
+
1119
+ BONT
1120
+ Of course I'm alive. Now cut this creep
1121
+ open and drain me out!
1122
+
1123
+
1124
+ [Guards close in on Fry. Fry clutches his stomach.]
1125
+
1126
+
1127
+ FRY
1128
+ My tummy hurts!
1129
+
1130
+
1131
+ [The guards and Merg chase Fry, Amy, Zoidberg and Bender up the
1132
+ steps.]
1133
+
1134
+
1135
+ BONT
1136
+ They're over here, they're running up
1137
+ the stairs.
1138
+
1139
+
1140
+ BENDER
1141
+ Shut up, you!
1142
+
1143
+
1144
+ [He punches Bont, hurting Fry.]
1145
+
1146
+
1147
+ FRY
1148
+ Ow!
1149
+
1150
+
1151
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace Throne Room. The crew get inside the palace
1152
+ and bolt the door.]
1153
+
1154
+
1155
+ [Cut to: Outside Throne Room.]
1156
+
1157
+
1158
+ MERG
1159
+ Let us in!
1160
+
1161
+
1162
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace Throne Room.]
1163
+
1164
+
1165
+ MERG
1166
+ Fry must die so that Bont may live.
1167
+
1168
+
1169
+
1170
+ FRY
1171
+ What am I gonna do?
1172
+
1173
+
1174
+ AMY
1175
+ We've gotta get the Emperor out of your
1176
+ body before they kill you!
1177
+
1178
+
1179
+ ZOIDBERG
1180
+ Relax, Fry. I'll simply spin you in
1181
+ a high-speed centrifuge separating out
1182
+ the denser fluid of His Highness.
1183
+
1184
+
1185
+
1186
+ FRY
1187
+ But won't that crush my bones?
1188
+
1189
+
1190
+ ZOIDBERG
1191
+ Oh, right, right, with the bones! I
1192
+ always forget about the bones.
1193
+
1194
+
1195
+ BENDER
1196
+ Hey, why don't you just sweat him out?
1197
+
1198
+
1199
+
1200
+ BONT
1201
+ Forget it! As Emperor I refuse to be
1202
+ dripped out through somebody's armpit.
1203
+
1204
+
1205
+
1206
+ FRY
1207
+ I could vomit or urinate. Would you
1208
+ feel better about that?
1209
+
1210
+
1211
+ BONT
1212
+ Slightly. But my favourite so far is
1213
+ the bone-crushing.
1214
+
1215
+
1216
+ AMY
1217
+ What about crying?
1218
+
1219
+
1220
+ FRY
1221
+ That's a great idea! Crying.
1222
+
1223
+
1224
+ BONT
1225
+ Fine. That or the bone one.
1226
+
1227
+
1228
+ [Cut to: Outside Throne Room. Trisolians are throwing themselves
1229
+ at the door. As they hit it they turn into pools of water. They
1230
+ regroup themselves and stand up.]
1231
+
1232
+
1233
+ MERG
1234
+ Keep it up, men. The veneer is starting
1235
+ to peel.
1236
+
1237
+
1238
+ [Gorgak throws himself at the door but can't re-solidify.]
1239
+
1240
+
1241
+ GORGAK
1242
+ Oh, dear!
1243
+
1244
+
1245
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace Throne Room. Fry is trying to cry.]
1246
+
1247
+
1248
+ FRY
1249
+ It's no use. I wanna cry but I'm just
1250
+ too macho.
1251
+
1252
+
1253
+ BENDER
1254
+ I'll make you cry, buddy! You're a
1255
+ pimple on society's ass and you'll never
1256
+ amount to anything.
1257
+
1258
+
1259
+ FRY
1260
+ What do you mean? I was Emperor of a
1261
+ whole planet.
1262
+
1263
+
1264
+ BENDER
1265
+ Good point. But here's a disturbing
1266
+ reminder: Everyone you knew or loved
1267
+ in the 20th century is dead.
1268
+
1269
+
1270
+ FRY
1271
+ These things happen.
1272
+
1273
+
1274
+ BENDER
1275
+ OK, Fry, grab a Kleenex for this one,
1276
+ 'cause there's no God and your idiotic
1277
+ human ideals are laughable!
1278
+
1279
+
1280
+ [He laughs evily.]
1281
+
1282
+
1283
+ FRY
1284
+ Phew! That's a load off my mind.
1285
+
1286
+
1287
+ BENDER
1288
+ Man, I guess it's harder than I thought
1289
+ to make someone cry.
1290
+
1291
+
1292
+ AMY
1293
+ You did your best, Bender.
1294
+
1295
+
1296
+ BENDER
1297
+ Up yours, bimbo!
1298
+
1299
+
1300
+ [Amy bursts into tears.]
1301
+
1302
+
1303
+ ZOIDBERG
1304
+ Let's face it, we're in hot butter here.
1305
+ We should call Leela for help.
1306
+
1307
+
1308
+ BENDER
1309
+ Cram it, lobster! That is a good idea.
1310
+ I'll go call her.
1311
+
1312
+
1313
+ FRY
1314
+ She'll never help me. She's still mad
1315
+ that I told her never to help me.
1316
+
1317
+
1318
+
1319
+ AMY
1320
+ C'mon. Leela's not the type to hold
1321
+ a grudge.
1322
+
1323
+
1324
+ [Ships Cargo Bay. Leela is punching and kicking a punch bag with
1325
+ Fry's photo taped to it. The phone rings.]
1326
+
1327
+
1328
+ OPERATOR
1329
+ Collect call from...
1330
+
1331
+
1332
+ BENDER
1333
+ I'm not giving my name to a machine.
1334
+
1335
+
1336
+
1337
+ LEELA
1338
+ I'll accept.
1339
+
1340
+
1341
+ [Bender appears on the phone screen.]
1342
+
1343
+
1344
+ BENDER
1345
+ Fry's in trouble...
1346
+
1347
+
1348
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace. Bender is sat on a chair in front of
1349
+ the payphone.]
1350
+
1351
+
1352
+ BENDER
1353
+ ...and he needs help. Now, I don't like
1354
+ you and you don't like me.
1355
+
1356
+
1357
+ LEELA
1358
+ I like you.
1359
+
1360
+
1361
+ BENDER
1362
+ You do? Look are you going to help or
1363
+ not?
1364
+
1365
+
1366
+ LEELA
1367
+ I don't know why I should. I mean after
1368
+ what he --
1369
+
1370
+
1371
+ BENDER
1372
+ Wait, wait, wait, wait. What is it
1373
+ you like best about me?
1374
+
1375
+
1376
+ [Trisol Palace Throne Room. Enter Bender.]
1377
+
1378
+
1379
+ AMY
1380
+ Is she coming?
1381
+
1382
+
1383
+ BENDER
1384
+ I'm not sure. But I do know that she
1385
+ likes my in-your-face attitude.
1386
+
1387
+
1388
+ [There is a rumbling from outside. The crew gather around a window
1389
+ and look out. The Trisolians are pulling a giant lemon juicer-like
1390
+ thing towards the palace.]
1391
+
1392
+
1393
+ FRY
1394
+ What the hell is that?
1395
+
1396
+
1397
+ BONT
1398
+ Its the Juice-A-Matic 4000. It'll strain
1399
+ my juices from you while filtering out
1400
+ the pulp. By which I mean, your shredded
1401
+ remains.
1402
+
1403
+
1404
+ ZOIDBERG
1405
+ Of course! Why didn't I think of that!
1406
+
1407
+
1408
+
1409
+ FRY
1410
+ This is the saddest day of my life.
1411
+ And I still can't cry.
1412
+
1413
+
1414
+ [Fry sits in his throne but a splashing noise from outside attracts
1415
+ the others to the window.]
1416
+
1417
+
1418
+ BENDER
1419
+ Wait a second. Here comes Leela.
1420
+
1421
+
1422
+ [Cut to: Outside Trisol Palace. Leela kicks her way through the
1423
+ crowd of Trisolian guards, splashing them to oblivion. They swarm
1424
+ her.]
1425
+
1426
+
1427
+ [Cut to: Trisol Palace Throne Room.]
1428
+
1429
+
1430
+ AMY
1431
+ Oh, no. They have her totally outnumbered.
1432
+
1433
+
1434
+
1435
+ FRY
1436
+ I can't believe it. She's risking her
1437
+ life for me after the way I treated
1438
+ her. I don't deserve this. I feel terrible.
1439
+
1440
+
1441
+
1442
+ BENDER
1443
+ You do? Hmm.
1444
+
1445
+
1446
+ FRY
1447
+ Is she alright?
1448
+
1449
+
1450
+ BENDER
1451
+ I don't know. Perhaps I'll look out
1452
+ this window. Oh, dear God in heaven,
1453
+ they're swarming all over her.
1454
+
1455
+
1456
+ FRY
1457
+ No. No!
1458
+
1459
+
1460
+ AMY
1461
+ What are you talking about, Bender?
1462
+ She's al -- (muffled) Oh!
1463
+
1464
+
1465
+ BENDER
1466
+ They're strapping her to juicer. Oh,
1467
+ they're putting some ice cubes in the
1468
+ glass under it.
1469
+
1470
+
1471
+ FRY
1472
+ This can't be happening.
1473
+
1474
+
1475
+ BENDER
1476
+ It can and, for all you know, it is.
1477
+ I'm sorry, Fry. She's dead.
1478
+
1479
+
1480
+ [Fry starts to cry and Amy catches his tear in the bottle.]
1481
+
1482
+
1483
+
1484
+ FRY
1485
+ All Leela ever wanted to do was help
1486
+ me. But I was to proud, too stupid to
1487
+ accept it. I wish I had died instead
1488
+ of her.
1489
+
1490
+
1491
+ [He starts to cry. Enter Leela via the window.]
1492
+
1493
+
1494
+ LEELA
1495
+ What are you talking about?
1496
+
1497
+
1498
+ [Fry stops crying.]
1499
+
1500
+
1501
+ FRY
1502
+ Leela! You're alive!
1503
+
1504
+
1505
+ LEELA
1506
+ Of course I'm alive.
1507
+
1508
+
1509
+ BENDER
1510
+ I told Fry you were dead so he would
1511
+ cry out the Emperor but you had to go
1512
+ and wreck it by surviving.
1513
+
1514
+
1515
+ AMY
1516
+ We only got two drops.
1517
+
1518
+
1519
+ [There is a bang at the door. The Trisolians begin leaking in
1520
+ through a hole. Bont chuckles.]
1521
+
1522
+
1523
+ BONT
1524
+ It's only a matter of time now.
1525
+
1526
+
1527
+ ZOIDBERG
1528
+ I'll handle this!
1529
+
1530
+
1531
+ [He tries to block the leak with his claw and eventually gets
1532
+ it under control by forcing one of his mouth flaps into the hole.]
1533
+
1534
+
1535
+
1536
+ LEELA
1537
+ Listen, Fry, I think I can get us out
1538
+ of this if you're willing to let me
1539
+ help you.
1540
+
1541
+
1542
+ FRY
1543
+ Thanks, Leela. From now on, I'll take
1544
+ all the help you're willing to give.
1545
+ I know you just want what's best for
1546
+ me. Ow! What was that for? Hey, come
1547
+ on! That hurt!
1548
+
1549
+
1550
+ LEELA
1551
+ I know. Amy, get the bottle.
1552
+
1553
+
1554
+ [She carries on beating Fry up while Amy holds the bottle under
1555
+ his eye.]
1556
+
1557
+
1558
+ FRY
1559
+ (crying) Oh, now I understand.
1560
+
1561
+
1562
+ LEELA
1563
+ Come on. Everybody help out Fry.
1564
+
1565
+
1566
+ [She slaps him again, Zoidberg pinches his leg with his claw
1567
+ and Bender stubs out a cigar on his arm.]
1568
+
1569
+
1570
+ FRY
1571
+ (crying) Thanks, everybody. I love you
1572
+ all. You guys are true -- ow! Cut it
1573
+ out, Bender! That's a tender area!
1574
+
1575
+
1576
+
1577
+ LEELA
1578
+ How we doing, Amy?
1579
+
1580
+
1581
+ AMY
1582
+ Great! We're one-tenth of the way there.
1583
+
1584
+
1585
+
1586
+ [Time Lapse. Leela, Zoidberg and Bender are tired out. Amy keeps
1587
+ kicking the Emperor out of Fry. She pants.]
1588
+
1589
+
1590
+ AMY
1591
+ OK, it's your turn.
1592
+
1593
+
1594
+ [She points to someone. A Trisolian starts to hit Fry with a
1595
+ chair.]
1596
+
1597
+
1598
+ FRY
1599
+ Hey, wait a minute! Who are you?
1600
+
1601
+
1602
+ BONT
1603
+ I'm the Emperor! Thanks for crying me
1604
+ out.
1605
+
1606
+
1607
+ [Fry looks at his stomach and sees it's back to normal.]
1608
+
1609
+
1610
+ FRY
1611
+ Oh, you're welcome.
1612
+
1613
+
1614
+ [Bont hits him with the chair again.]
1615
+
1616
+
1617
+ [Cut to: Outside Trisolian Palace. The crowds have gone. Fry
1618
+ cries in pain from inside.]
1619
+
1620
+
1621
+ BENDER
1622
+ Hey! Save some for me!
1623
+
1624
+
1625
+ THE END
content/my_data/s1e8.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1385 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+
2
+ FUTURAMA
3
+
4
+ Episode 108
5
+
6
+ "A BIG PIECE OF GARBAGE"
7
+
8
+ By
9
+
10
+ Lewis Morton
11
+
12
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
13
+
14
+
15
+
16
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat around the table.]
17
+
18
+
19
+
20
+ FARNSWORTH
21
+ Good news, everyone. Tomorrow you'll
22
+ be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the
23
+ virus planet.
24
+
25
+
26
+ HERMES
27
+ Why can't they go today?
28
+
29
+
30
+ FARNSWORTH
31
+ Because tonight's a special night and
32
+ I want all of you to be alive. It's
33
+ the Academy of Inventors annual symposium.
34
+
35
+
36
+
37
+ FRY
38
+ Wow! I love symposia.
39
+
40
+
41
+ FARNSWORTH
42
+ It's the event of the scientific season.
43
+ Every member presents an invention and
44
+ the best one wins the Academy prize.
45
+
46
+
47
+
48
+ BENDER
49
+ Sounds boring.
50
+
51
+
52
+ FARNSWORTH
53
+ Oh, my, yes. But not this year, because
54
+ my latest invention is unbeatable. Behold!
55
+ The death clock. Simply jam your finger
56
+ in the hole and this readout tells you
57
+ exactly how long you have left to live.
58
+
59
+
60
+
61
+ LEELA
62
+ Does it really work?
63
+
64
+
65
+ FARNSWORTH
66
+ Well it's occasionally off by a few
67
+ seconds. What with free will and all.
68
+
69
+
70
+
71
+ FRY
72
+ Sounds like fun. How long do I have
73
+ left to live?
74
+
75
+
76
+ [He puts his finger in the hole and the clock dings.]
77
+
78
+
79
+ BENDER
80
+ Ooh! Dibs on his CD player!
81
+
82
+
83
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: Mr. Bender's Wardrobe By Robotany
84
+ 500.]
85
+
86
+
87
+ [Academy of Inventors. The room is filled with doctors and professors
88
+ all wearing white lab coats. Bender is wearing a top hat and
89
+ is talking to Farnsworth.]
90
+
91
+
92
+ FARNSWORTH
93
+ Oh, my, yes.
94
+
95
+
96
+ FRY
97
+ Who's the gross nerd?
98
+
99
+
100
+ [He points to a picture of a geek on the wall.]
101
+
102
+
103
+ FARNSWORTH
104
+ That's me at the very first symposium.
105
+ I'm the Academy's oldest living member,
106
+ you know. These youngsters all look
107
+ up to me.
108
+
109
+
110
+ [Enter an old man.]
111
+
112
+
113
+ WERNSTROM
114
+ Well, well, well. Look who decided to
115
+ show his wrinkled face.
116
+
117
+
118
+ FARNSWORTH
119
+ Why don't you just leave me alone, Wernstrom?!
120
+
121
+
122
+
123
+ WERNSTROM
124
+ Face it, Farnsworth, you're over the
125
+ hill. It's time to leave science to
126
+ the 120-year-olds.
127
+
128
+
129
+ FARNSWORTH
130
+ You young turks think you know everything.
131
+ I was inventing things when you were
132
+ barely turning senile.
133
+
134
+
135
+ [Wernstrom laughs.]
136
+
137
+
138
+ WERNSTROM
139
+ Go home before you embarrass yourself,
140
+ old man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
141
+ going to take a nap before the ceremonies.
142
+
143
+
144
+
145
+ [He leaves.]
146
+
147
+
148
+ FRY
149
+ Who's that jerk?
150
+
151
+
152
+ FARNSWORTH
153
+ A hundred years ago he was my most promising
154
+ student at Mars University. But then
155
+ after one fateful pop-quiz...
156
+
157
+
158
+ [Flashback: Mars University. A younger Farnsworth hands a younger
159
+ Wernstrom a piece of paper.]
160
+
161
+
162
+ WERNSTROM
163
+ A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom
164
+ an A-minus!
165
+
166
+
167
+ FARNSWORTH
168
+ I'm sorry but penmanship counts.
169
+
170
+
171
+ WERNSTROM
172
+ I swear I'll have my revenge even if
173
+ it takes me a hundred years.
174
+
175
+
176
+ [Flashback ends.]
177
+
178
+
179
+ FARNSWORTH
180
+ And here it is: Slightly over 99 years
181
+ later and still no revenge. I'm essentially
182
+ in the clear.
183
+
184
+
185
+ [Academy of Inventors Auditorium. Bender, Fry and Leela are sat
186
+ at a table. Bender is wearing a top hat and is reading the wine
187
+ list. A waiter takes his order.]
188
+
189
+
190
+ BENDER
191
+ I've been perusing your fortified wine
192
+ list and I've selected the '71 Hobo's
193
+ Delight, the '57 Chateau Par-tay and
194
+ the '66 Thunder Chevitz.
195
+
196
+
197
+ WAITER
198
+ Exquisite choices, sir.
199
+
200
+
201
+ BENDER
202
+ And mix them all together in a big jug.
203
+
204
+
205
+
206
+ [Time Lapse. The lights in the auditorium are now dimmed and
207
+ Ron Popeil's head in a jar is on the stage.]
208
+
209
+
210
+ POPEIL
211
+ Welcome to this year�s Academy of Inventors
212
+ Annual Symposium, I'm your host, Ron
213
+ Popeil, inventor of Mr. Microphone,
214
+ the spray-on toupee and - of course
215
+ - the technology to keep human heads
216
+ alive in jars. But wait, there's more.
217
+ We've got a whole line-up of inventors
218
+ tonight, starting with that up and coming
219
+ young star, Ogden Wernstrom.
220
+
221
+
222
+ [The audience applauds and Wernstrom stands up and walks onto
223
+ the stage. Fry boos him.]
224
+
225
+
226
+ BENDER
227
+ (shouting) More wine!
228
+
229
+
230
+ WERNSTROM
231
+ Distinguished members of the Academy,
232
+ I present to you, the Reverse SCUBA
233
+ Suit. Observe! Fetch! Now, sit! I
234
+ said sit! Bad fish!
235
+
236
+
237
+ [He hits the fish with a newspaper and it sits. The audience
238
+ applauds. Farnsworth groans.]
239
+
240
+
241
+ FRY
242
+ Don't worry, Professor, it's no competition
243
+ for your death clock.
244
+
245
+
246
+ WERNSTROM
247
+ And what will you be presenting this
248
+ evening, grandpa?
249
+
250
+
251
+ FARNSWORTH
252
+ Let's just say it'll put you young whippersnappers
253
+ in your place!
254
+
255
+
256
+ WERNSTROM
257
+ I just hope it's not as lame as that
258
+ death clock you presented last year.
259
+
260
+
261
+
262
+ FARNSWORTH
263
+ Uh, last year, you say?
264
+
265
+
266
+ WERNSTROM
267
+ That's right.
268
+
269
+
270
+ FARNSWORTH
271
+ Oh, my! Did it put you young whippersnappers
272
+ in your place?
273
+
274
+
275
+ WERNSTROM
276
+ Hardly! We laughed until our teeth fell
277
+ out. Come along, Cinnamon.
278
+
279
+
280
+ [His fish follows him.]
281
+
282
+
283
+ FARNSWORTH
284
+ Oh, dear, I'll have to invent something
285
+ new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps
286
+ some sort of death clock.
287
+
288
+
289
+ LEELA
290
+ Uh, Professor...?
291
+
292
+
293
+ [Time Lapse. A man on the stage demonstrates a helicopter hat.
294
+ He turns a handle and flies away. The audience applauds.]
295
+
296
+
297
+ POPEIL
298
+ Our last presentation comes from our
299
+ oldest member, Professor Hubert Farnsworth.
300
+ Professor?
301
+
302
+
303
+ [A spotlight falls on Farnsworth. He is scribbling something
304
+ on a piece of paper.]
305
+
306
+
307
+ FARNSWORTH
308
+ Just a second, just a second.
309
+
310
+
311
+ WERNSTROM
312
+ Pencils down, prune-face.
313
+
314
+
315
+ [Farnsworth snarls and runs onto the stage.]
316
+
317
+
318
+ FARNSWORTH
319
+ Uh, yes, here I am, OK, now, hello there.
320
+ Now, we all know telescopes allow us
321
+ to see distant objects. But what if
322
+ we want to smell distant objects? Well
323
+ now we can! Thanks to my new invention...the
324
+ Smellescope.
325
+
326
+
327
+ [He puts a piece of paper on a projector. The audience starts
328
+ talking.]
329
+
330
+
331
+ MAN
332
+ Oh, I say!
333
+
334
+
335
+ FARNSWORTH
336
+ The odour travels past this coffee stain
337
+ here, around the olive pit and into
338
+ this cigar burn. And this appears to
339
+ be a, doodle of myself as a cowboy.
340
+ But the Smellescope is brilliant, I
341
+ tell you! Think of the astronomical
342
+ odours you'll smell thanks to me. Oh,
343
+ my!
344
+
345
+
346
+ [He puts it back on the projector. It is smudged. The audience
347
+ laughs again.]
348
+
349
+
350
+ WERNSTROM
351
+ I've waited a hundred years for this,
352
+ Farnsworth. I give your invention the
353
+ worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus.
354
+
355
+
356
+
357
+ [The audience laughs. Farnsworth walks off the stage.]
358
+
359
+
360
+ [Time Lapse. Ron Popeil is back on the stage. A trophy is beside
361
+ him.]
362
+
363
+
364
+ POPEIL
365
+ And now for the presentation of the
366
+ award. Listen, folks, I'm practically
367
+ giving this prize away to Dr. Wernstrom,
368
+ for his fish thingy.
369
+
370
+
371
+ [Wernstrom picks up the trophy and shakes his fish's leg. Farnsworth,
372
+ outside, sighs and walks away.]
373
+
374
+
375
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Leela and Farnsworth
376
+ are sat around the table.]
377
+
378
+
379
+ FARNSWORTH
380
+ Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a
381
+ scientist.
382
+
383
+
384
+ BENDER
385
+ Yep!
386
+
387
+
388
+ FRY
389
+ No, Professor, don't give up. There
390
+ were plenty of times in my century when
391
+ I was gonna give up but I never did.
392
+ Never! Hey, are you even listening to
393
+ me? Oh, I give up!
394
+
395
+
396
+ FARNSWORTH
397
+ By God, you're right! I'm going to build
398
+ that Smellescope!
399
+
400
+
401
+ [Planet Express: Attic.]
402
+
403
+
404
+ FARNSWORTH
405
+ Eureka!
406
+
407
+
408
+ [Fry, Leela and Bender run in.]
409
+
410
+
411
+ FRY
412
+ Did you build the Smellescope?
413
+
414
+
415
+ FARNSWORTH
416
+ No, I remembered that I'd built one
417
+ last year. Go ahead. Try it. You'll
418
+ find that every heavenly body has its
419
+ own particular scent. Here, I'll point
420
+ it at Jupiter.
421
+
422
+
423
+ [Fry sniffs.]
424
+
425
+
426
+ FRY
427
+ Smells like strawberries.
428
+
429
+
430
+ FARNSWORTH
431
+ Exactly! And now Saturn.
432
+
433
+
434
+ [Fry sniffs.]
435
+
436
+
437
+ FRY
438
+ Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great!
439
+ Hey, as long as you don't make me smell
440
+ Uranus.
441
+
442
+
443
+ [He laughs.]
444
+
445
+
446
+ LEELA
447
+ I don't get it.
448
+
449
+
450
+ FARNSWORTH
451
+ I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed
452
+ Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke
453
+ once and for all.
454
+
455
+
456
+ FRY
457
+ Oh. What's it called now?
458
+
459
+
460
+ FARNSWORTH
461
+ Urectum. Here, let me locate it for
462
+ you.
463
+
464
+
465
+ [Fry chuckles.]
466
+
467
+
468
+ FRY
469
+ No, no, I think I'll just smell around
470
+ a bit over here! Hmm. Hmm.
471
+
472
+
473
+ [He sniffs again and starts gagging.]
474
+
475
+
476
+ FARNSWORTH
477
+ What is it? Oh, jeez! Oh, man! Remarkable!
478
+ A stench so foul is right off the funk-o-meter.
479
+ I dare say Fry may have discovered the
480
+ smelliest object in the known universe.
481
+
482
+
483
+
484
+ BENDER
485
+ Ooh, ooh, name it after me!
486
+
487
+
488
+ [Leela sniffs.]
489
+
490
+
491
+ LEELA
492
+ I think it's moving.
493
+
494
+
495
+ FARNSWORTH
496
+ Hmm, perhaps the computer can calculate
497
+ its trajectory. My God! Whatever it
498
+ is it's headed straight for us. With
499
+ enough force to reduce this entire city
500
+ to a stinky crater. We have less than
501
+ 72 hours.
502
+
503
+
504
+ [Fry, Leela and Bender gasp.]
505
+
506
+
507
+ BENDER
508
+ Well, lets get looting!
509
+
510
+
511
+ [He picks up a TV and runs out.]
512
+
513
+
514
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. The crew are sat around the table
515
+ looking at a hologram of the Earth.]
516
+
517
+
518
+ FRY
519
+ So this thing's gonna destroy the whole
520
+ city? What the heck is it?
521
+
522
+
523
+ [Farnsworth taps a keyboard.]
524
+
525
+
526
+ FARNSWORTH
527
+ Ah! Just as I thought. The answer lies
528
+ in this movie I found on the Internet.
529
+
530
+
531
+
532
+ [He plays the movie. The New York skyline of 2000 is displayed
533
+ on the screen, along with the title The Great Garbage Crisis
534
+ Of 2000.]
535
+
536
+
537
+ NARRATOR
538
+ New York City: the year 2000. The most
539
+ wasteful society in the history of the
540
+ galaxy and it was running out of places
541
+ to empty its never-ending output of
542
+ garbage. The landfills were full. New
543
+ Jersey was full. And so, under cover
544
+ of darkness, the city put its garbage
545
+ out to sea on the world's largest barge.
546
+ The repulsive barge circled the oceans
547
+ for 50 years but no country would accept
548
+ it. Not even that really filthy one.
549
+ You know the one I mean. Finally, in
550
+ 2052, the city used its mob connections
551
+ to obtain a rocket and launch the garbage
552
+ into outer space. Some experts claim
553
+ the ball might return to Earth someday,
554
+ but their concerns were dismissed as
555
+ "depressing".
556
+
557
+
558
+ FRY
559
+ Wow! You got that off the Internet?
560
+ In my day the Internet was only used
561
+ to download pornography.
562
+
563
+
564
+ FARNSWORTH
565
+ Actually that's still true.
566
+
567
+
568
+ [He resumes the movie.]
569
+
570
+
571
+ FEMALE SCIENTIST
572
+ Now that the garbage is in space, doctor,
573
+ perhaps you can help me with my sexual
574
+ inhibitions.
575
+
576
+
577
+ MALE SCIENTIST
578
+ With gusto!
579
+
580
+
581
+ [They both strip down to their underwear. Leela turns the lights
582
+ back on. Fry groans.]
583
+
584
+
585
+ FARNSWORTH
586
+ So that's the situation. Due to the
587
+ short-sightedness of Old New York, New
588
+ New York is going to be destroyed by
589
+ a giant ball of garbage.
590
+
591
+
592
+ LEELA
593
+ Fry, what the hell were you people thinking
594
+ back then? How could you just throw
595
+ your garbage away?
596
+
597
+
598
+ FRY
599
+ Hey, hey, gimmie a break! What do you
600
+ do with it?
601
+
602
+
603
+ LEELA
604
+ We recycle everything. Robots are made
605
+ from old beer cans.
606
+
607
+
608
+ BENDER
609
+ Yeah! And this beer can is made outta
610
+ old robots.
611
+
612
+
613
+ LEELA
614
+ And that sandwich you're eating is made
615
+ of old discarded sandwiches. Nothing
616
+ just gets thrown away.
617
+
618
+
619
+ FRY
620
+ The future is disgusting.
621
+
622
+
623
+ LEELA
624
+ Typical 20th century attitude.
625
+
626
+
627
+ FRY
628
+ Hey! You have no right to criticise
629
+ the 20th century. We gave the world
630
+ the lightbulb, the steamboat and the
631
+ cotton gin.
632
+
633
+
634
+ LEELA
635
+ Those things are all from the 19th century.
636
+
637
+
638
+
639
+ FRY
640
+ Yeah, well, they probably just copied
641
+ us.
642
+
643
+
644
+ FARNSWORTH
645
+ Please! There's no time for this now.
646
+ This is an emergency. We must warn the
647
+ mayor.
648
+
649
+
650
+ [Citihall: Mayor's Office. The Mayor, a short balding man in
651
+ a green suit, sits behind his desk.]
652
+
653
+
654
+ POOPENMEYER
655
+ Garbage ball, huh? That sounds serious.
656
+
657
+
658
+
659
+ FARNSWORTH
660
+ Very serious, Mayor Poopenmeyer.
661
+
662
+
663
+ POOPENMEYER
664
+ I gotta be sure this isn't another scientific
665
+ fraud like global warming or second-hand
666
+ smoke. Send in my science advisor.
667
+
668
+
669
+
670
+ [Enter Wernstrom.]
671
+
672
+
673
+ FARNSWORTH
674
+ Wernstrom!
675
+
676
+
677
+ WERNSTROM
678
+ Well, well, well! Come to present your
679
+ latest napkin, Professor?
680
+
681
+
682
+ FARNSWORTH
683
+ No, I'm here because a giant trash ball
684
+ is heading straight for us. Smell for
685
+ yourself.
686
+
687
+
688
+ [Farnsworth wipes the Smellescope. Poopenmeyer sniffs and leaps
689
+ back.]
690
+
691
+
692
+ POOPENMEYER
693
+ Hey! Holy jeez!
694
+
695
+
696
+ WERNSTROM
697
+ That smell could be anything; A faulty
698
+ stench coil, some cheese on the lens,
699
+ who knows?
700
+
701
+
702
+ [A woman walks in with a cassette player.]
703
+
704
+
705
+ WOMAN
706
+ Mr. Mayor, we just got this transmission
707
+ from Neptune.
708
+
709
+
710
+ MAN
711
+ Giant...garbage ball.....passed close
712
+ by...horrible stench......
713
+
714
+
715
+ WOMAN
716
+ The transmission cuts out there, sir.
717
+ No, I, guess it keeps going.
718
+
719
+
720
+ [The voice chokes again. The message cuts out.]
721
+
722
+
723
+ WOMAN
724
+ There we go.
725
+
726
+
727
+ POOPENMEYER
728
+ My God! The senile old man is right.
729
+
730
+
731
+
732
+ WERNSTROM
733
+ Do you mean him or me?
734
+
735
+
736
+ POOPENMEYER
737
+ Him!
738
+
739
+
740
+ [He points at Farnsworth. Wernstrom grumbles.]
741
+
742
+
743
+ [New New York Street. People are crowded around a shop watching
744
+ TV's through the window. On the TV, two newscasters present a
745
+ report. One is a blonde human woman wearing a pink suit and the
746
+ other is an alien that looks like one from This Island Earth.
747
+ He has a huge green head with veins poking out of it and big
748
+ eyes.]
749
+
750
+
751
+ LINDA
752
+ Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?
753
+
754
+
755
+
756
+ MORBO
757
+ Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings
758
+ were shocked today to learn that a ball
759
+ of garbage will destroy their pathetic
760
+ city of New New York.
761
+
762
+
763
+ LINDA
764
+ Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles.
765
+
766
+
767
+
768
+ MORBO
769
+ Morbo agrees!
770
+
771
+
772
+ [They both laugh.]
773
+
774
+
775
+ [Citihall: Mayor's Office. A large hologram of the garbage ball
776
+ is projected in the middle of the room. A military man is there
777
+ with the others.]
778
+
779
+
780
+ LEELA
781
+ Can't we just shoot a missile at it?
782
+
783
+
784
+
785
+ MILITARY MAN
786
+ We've simulated that on a supercomputer
787
+ but the ball is just too damn gooey.
788
+ A missile would go right through it.
789
+
790
+
791
+
792
+ [The hologram shows a missile squelching through the garbage
793
+ ball.]
794
+
795
+
796
+ FARNSWORTH
797
+ But suppose we send a crew to plant
798
+ an explosive precisely on the fault
799
+ line betwen this mass of coffee grounds
800
+ and this deposit of America Online floppy
801
+ disks.
802
+
803
+
804
+ [The simulation explodes.]
805
+
806
+
807
+ MILITARY MAN
808
+ In theory, it could work.
809
+
810
+
811
+ WERNSTROM
812
+ Uh, in theory, perhaps. But you'll never
813
+ find a crew willing to take on a mission
814
+ so suicidal-y dangerous.
815
+
816
+
817
+ [Farnsworth smiles and looks at his crew.]
818
+
819
+
820
+ BENDER
821
+ Oh, crap!
822
+
823
+
824
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. The crew are assembled in front of the
825
+ ship.]
826
+
827
+
828
+ FARNSWORTH
829
+ Now, you'll only have one chance to
830
+ destroy the ball. After that, it will
831
+ be so close to Earth that blowing it
832
+ up would cause garbage to rain over
833
+ the entire planet, killing billions.
834
+
835
+
836
+
837
+ BENDER
838
+ (ironic) Oh, boo-hoo!
839
+
840
+
841
+ FARNSWORTH
842
+ Now here's the bomb I've prepared. Once
843
+ you activate it, you'll have 25 minutes
844
+ to get away.
845
+
846
+
847
+ LEELA
848
+ That's all? But --
849
+
850
+
851
+ FARNSWORTH
852
+ Now, now, there'll be plenty of time
853
+ to discuss your objections when and
854
+ if you return.
855
+
856
+
857
+ [The crew suit up in orange spacesuits and walk towards the ship.
858
+ Fry and Leela carry their helmets under their arms and Bender
859
+ carries his head under his.]
860
+
861
+
862
+ [The ship clears the atmosphere and flies towards the garbage
863
+ ball. It looks like the asteroid from Armageddon.]
864
+
865
+
866
+ [Ships Cockpit.]
867
+
868
+
869
+ LEELA
870
+ Odour at magnitude 8. Magnitude 12.
871
+ Magnitude 31. We're breaking up. Turn
872
+ on the anti-smell device.
873
+
874
+
875
+ [The sound of an air freshener goes off and the ship stops shaking.]
876
+
877
+
878
+
879
+ FRY
880
+ Hmm, sporty!
881
+
882
+
883
+ [Garbage Ball Surface. The ship cruises in and lands. The steps
884
+ go down, the door opens and the crew look around.]
885
+
886
+
887
+ FRY
888
+ Wow!
889
+
890
+
891
+ LEELA
892
+ Look at all this filth.
893
+
894
+
895
+ FRY
896
+ It's not filth. It's a glorious monument
897
+ to the achievements of the 20th century.
898
+ Look! A real Beanie Baby. Oh! A Mr.
899
+ Spock collector's plate! Some Bart
900
+ Simpson dolls!
901
+
902
+
903
+ [He runs over to a pile of them. Bender picks one up and pulls
904
+ the string.]
905
+
906
+
907
+ DOLL
908
+ Eat my shorts!
909
+
910
+
911
+ BENDER
912
+ OK (� la Homer Simpson) Mmm! Shorts!
913
+
914
+
915
+
916
+ LEELA
917
+ Fry, this stuff was garbage when it
918
+ was new. Let's blow it up already!
919
+
920
+
921
+
922
+ FRY
923
+ This junk isn't garbage! I can dig in
924
+ any random pile and find something great.
925
+
926
+
927
+
928
+ [He digs in a pile and comes out with a six pack holder around
929
+ his neck, like a seagull. Leela cuts him free.]
930
+
931
+
932
+ FRY
933
+ (gasping) Alright, let's get to work.
934
+
935
+
936
+
937
+ [Time Lapse. The crew walk across the surface, reading a map.]
938
+
939
+
940
+
941
+ LEELA
942
+ Let's see. If that's Hypodermic Ridge
943
+ then the bomb must go right here. Get
944
+ ready to run. We've got 25 minutes.
945
+ Uh, 15 minutes. 5 minutes. 6h minutes?
946
+
947
+
948
+
949
+ [Bender pulls the bomb out of the ground. He turns it upside
950
+ down.]
951
+
952
+
953
+ BENDER
954
+ There's your problem. The Professor
955
+ put the counter on upside-down.
956
+
957
+
958
+ LEELA
959
+ That idiot! It wasn't set for 25 minutes,
960
+ it was set for 52 seconds.
961
+
962
+
963
+ [Fry screams.]
964
+
965
+
966
+ FRY
967
+ We're gonna die! (calmly) Right?
968
+
969
+
970
+ BENDER
971
+ Right!
972
+
973
+
974
+ [Fry screams again.]
975
+
976
+
977
+ [Time Lapse. The timer is at 19 seconds. Bender screams.]
978
+
979
+
980
+ BENDER
981
+ It's gonna blow!
982
+
983
+
984
+ [He throws it to Fry. Fry throws it back. Bender throws it at
985
+ Leela and it hits her helmet.]
986
+
987
+
988
+ LEELA
989
+ Hey, watch it! You'll put somebody's
990
+ eye out!
991
+
992
+
993
+ BENDER
994
+ OK, OK, keep your space pants on. I'll
995
+ take care of this.
996
+
997
+
998
+ [Bender throws the bomb into space but it hits a passing comet
999
+ and bounces back into his hands. He throws it up again and it
1000
+ explodes. The crew sigh with relief.]
1001
+
1002
+
1003
+ FRY
1004
+ We're saved!
1005
+
1006
+
1007
+ LEELA
1008
+ Yeah, but this garbage ball's unstoppable
1009
+ now. New New York is done for.
1010
+
1011
+
1012
+ [They watch as the garbage ball moves closer to Earth. Bender
1013
+ scratches his butt.]
1014
+
1015
+
1016
+ [Outside Planet Express. A crowd of people stand on the street
1017
+ with a banner saying "Welcome Home Heroes" with "Heroes" crossed
1018
+ out and replaced with "Losers".]
1019
+
1020
+
1021
+ [Citihall: Mayor's Office.]
1022
+
1023
+
1024
+ LINDA
1025
+ All in all, this is one day Mittens
1026
+ the kitten won't soon forget!
1027
+
1028
+
1029
+ [Morbo and Linda chuckle.]
1030
+
1031
+
1032
+ MORBO
1033
+ Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter
1034
+ news, the city of New New York is doomed.
1035
+ Blame rests with known human Professor
1036
+ Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior
1037
+ brain.
1038
+
1039
+
1040
+ FARNSWORTH
1041
+ Oh, how could I have put that bomb timer
1042
+ on upside-down? I could swear I followed
1043
+ the manual precisely. I'm a dried up
1044
+ husk of a scientist. This is all my
1045
+ fault.
1046
+
1047
+
1048
+ FRY
1049
+ No, it's my fault too. I'm sure I threw
1050
+ out more than my share of that trash
1051
+ up there. Also, one month my toilet
1052
+ broke and it just went straight in the
1053
+ garbage can. Leela was right. The people
1054
+ of the 20th century were idiotic slobs.
1055
+ Especially me.
1056
+
1057
+
1058
+ POOPENMEYER
1059
+ Enough! You all failed miserably. It's
1060
+ time to put a real scientist in charge.
1061
+
1062
+
1063
+
1064
+ [Enter Wernstrom.]
1065
+
1066
+
1067
+ FARNSWORTH
1068
+ Wernstrom!
1069
+
1070
+
1071
+ WERNSTROM
1072
+ The very same.
1073
+
1074
+
1075
+ POOPENMEYER
1076
+ Dr. Wernstrom, can you save my city?
1077
+
1078
+
1079
+
1080
+ WERNSTROM
1081
+ Of course. But it'll cost you. First
1082
+ I'll need tenure.
1083
+
1084
+
1085
+ POOPENMEYER
1086
+ Done.
1087
+
1088
+
1089
+ WERNSTROM
1090
+ And a big research grant.
1091
+
1092
+
1093
+ POOPENMEYER
1094
+ You got it.
1095
+
1096
+
1097
+ WERNSTROM
1098
+ Also, access to a lab and five graduate
1099
+ students, at least three of them Chinese.
1100
+
1101
+
1102
+
1103
+ POOPENMEYER
1104
+ Um, alright done. What's your plan?
1105
+
1106
+
1107
+
1108
+ WERNSTROM
1109
+ What plan? I'm set for life! Au revoir,
1110
+ suckers!
1111
+
1112
+
1113
+ [He walks out.]
1114
+
1115
+
1116
+ LEELA
1117
+ That rat! Do something!
1118
+
1119
+
1120
+ POOPENMEYER
1121
+ I wish I could but, he's got tenure!
1122
+
1123
+
1124
+
1125
+ [New New York Street. People stop and stare into the sky as a
1126
+ hamburger and other pieces of garbage plow through buildings.
1127
+ A fish skeleton falls in front of Zoidberg. He checks to see
1128
+ no one is looking and eats it.]
1129
+
1130
+
1131
+ [Cut to: Citihall: Mayor's Office. A pizza slice splats against
1132
+ the window.]
1133
+
1134
+
1135
+ POOPENMEYER
1136
+ It's time to take action. Stephanie,
1137
+ cancel the maid for today. Have her
1138
+ come tomorrow. Well, I'm out of ideas.
1139
+ Anyone?
1140
+
1141
+
1142
+ FARNSWORTH
1143
+ Wait! If we could build an object the
1144
+ exact size, density and consistency
1145
+ of the garbage ball, it might just knock
1146
+ the ball away without smashing it to
1147
+ bits.
1148
+
1149
+
1150
+ LEELA
1151
+ But where can we find a substance the
1152
+ exact density and consistency as garbage?
1153
+
1154
+
1155
+
1156
+ FARNSWORTH
1157
+ Alas, I don't know.
1158
+
1159
+
1160
+ FRY
1161
+ Uh, what about garbage?
1162
+
1163
+
1164
+ FARNSWORTH
1165
+ Good Lord! A second ball of garbage!
1166
+ That just might work!
1167
+
1168
+
1169
+ POOPENMEYER
1170
+ But garbage isn't something you just
1171
+ find lying in the streets of Manhattan.
1172
+ This city's been garbage-free for 500
1173
+ years!
1174
+
1175
+
1176
+ FRY
1177
+ Then it's time to make some more.
1178
+
1179
+
1180
+ POOPENMEYER
1181
+ Make garbage? But how?
1182
+
1183
+
1184
+ FRY
1185
+ Stand back and watch the master! This
1186
+ Slurm can. Now it's garbage. These
1187
+ papers. Garbage. This picture of your
1188
+ wife. Pure garbage. Now you try it.
1189
+
1190
+
1191
+
1192
+ [Poopenmeyer picks up a pencil and drops it on the floor.]
1193
+
1194
+
1195
+ POOPENMEYER
1196
+ By God, I think the boy's got something.
1197
+ Come on, everyone! The fate of the city
1198
+ is at stake!
1199
+
1200
+
1201
+ [He turns a chair on it's side.]
1202
+
1203
+
1204
+ FRY
1205
+ Good! Don't finish that cruller, throw
1206
+ it away Bender. Drink that beer and
1207
+ drop the bottle on the ground. Very
1208
+ nice.
1209
+
1210
+
1211
+ POOPENMEYER
1212
+ Get that robot some more beer! We've
1213
+ trashed this room but that's just the
1214
+ start. We've got to get Fry's message
1215
+ to the people.
1216
+
1217
+
1218
+ [Woman's Kitchen. Fry is on TV.]
1219
+
1220
+
1221
+ FRY
1222
+ People of New New York. Take a lesson
1223
+ from the 20th century. Stop all this
1224
+ pain-in-the-ass recycling and throw
1225
+ your garbage on the floor.
1226
+
1227
+
1228
+ [The woman scrapes her food onto the floor.]
1229
+
1230
+
1231
+ [Man's Living Room.]
1232
+
1233
+
1234
+ FRY
1235
+ Go ahead. Just chuck it any old place
1236
+ like I used to. Your city is counting
1237
+ on you.
1238
+
1239
+
1240
+ [The man empties his cats litter tray out of the window.]
1241
+
1242
+
1243
+ [Printing Press. The newspapers are printed with the headline
1244
+ "City Urged To Litter!" and the conveyor belt dumps them outside
1245
+ the building.]
1246
+
1247
+
1248
+ [Cut to: Outside Printing Press. They land in a heap and are
1249
+ bulldozed away.]
1250
+
1251
+
1252
+ [Launch Pad. The new garbage ball has been stuck on top of a
1253
+ rocket. ]
1254
+
1255
+
1256
+ FARNSWORTH
1257
+ If my calculations are correct, this
1258
+ garbage ball will knock the other garbage
1259
+ ball directly into the sun.
1260
+
1261
+
1262
+ WERNSTROM
1263
+ And if my calculations are correct,
1264
+ we're all going to die horribly.
1265
+
1266
+
1267
+ [He laughs then realises what he's said.]
1268
+
1269
+
1270
+ POOPENMEYER
1271
+ Alright, places everyone. Prepare for
1272
+ launch.
1273
+
1274
+
1275
+ [Farnsworth counts down.]
1276
+
1277
+
1278
+ FARNSWORTH
1279
+ Five, four, three, two, three, four,
1280
+ five, six...
1281
+
1282
+
1283
+ LEELA
1284
+ Just fire the damn thing.
1285
+
1286
+
1287
+ [Fry tries to push the button but misses it.]
1288
+
1289
+
1290
+ FRY
1291
+ Oops!
1292
+
1293
+
1294
+ [He pushes it again. The rocket takes off and heads towards the
1295
+ other garbage ball. Fry's heart beats. Farnsworth's heart beats,
1296
+ but a lot slower than Fry's. Bender's "heart" beats like a drum.]
1297
+
1298
+
1299
+
1300
+ [In space, the new garbage ball hits the old one and knocks it
1301
+ away from the Earth. It slingshots around several planets and
1302
+ flies into the sun.
1303
+
1304
+
1305
+ [Launch Pad. Farnsworth sniffs through the Smellescope.]
1306
+
1307
+
1308
+ FARNSWORTH
1309
+ Burning garbage!
1310
+
1311
+
1312
+ FRY
1313
+ It worked!
1314
+
1315
+
1316
+ [Everyone except Wernstrom cheers.]
1317
+
1318
+
1319
+ [Outside Citihall. The Mayor and the Planet Express crew are
1320
+ standing on the steps. Poopenmeyer is finishing a speech.]
1321
+
1322
+
1323
+
1324
+ POOPENMEYER
1325
+ And so, on behalf of the entire city,
1326
+ I thank you, Professor Farnsworth. I
1327
+ now present you with the Academy prize,
1328
+ which we confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom
1329
+ after it became apparent that he was
1330
+ a jackass.
1331
+
1332
+
1333
+ [He hands Farnsworth the trophy.]
1334
+
1335
+
1336
+ FARNSWORTH
1337
+ Yes! In your face, Wernstrom!
1338
+
1339
+
1340
+ WERNSTROM
1341
+ I'll get you, Farnsworth. Even if it
1342
+ takes me another hundred years.
1343
+
1344
+
1345
+ [He and his five graduate students - three of them Chinese -
1346
+ shake their fists.]
1347
+
1348
+
1349
+ POOPENMEYER
1350
+ And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt
1351
+ as well. If not for your 20th century
1352
+ garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried
1353
+ under 20th century garbage.
1354
+
1355
+
1356
+ [The crowd cheers.]
1357
+
1358
+
1359
+ LEELA
1360
+ Should we really be celebrating? I mean,
1361
+ what if the second garbage ball returns
1362
+ to Earth like the first one did?
1363
+
1364
+
1365
+ FRY
1366
+ Who cares? That won't be for hundreds
1367
+ of years.
1368
+
1369
+
1370
+ FARNSWORTH
1371
+ Exactly! It's none of our concern.
1372
+
1373
+
1374
+
1375
+ FRY
1376
+ That's the 20th century spirit!
1377
+
1378
+
1379
+ [He and Farnsworth hold the award up and the crowd cheers and
1380
+ applauds.]
1381
+
1382
+
1383
+ [Closing Credits. We'll Meet Again from the film Dr Strangelove
1384
+ Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb plays over
1385
+ them.]
content/my_data/s1e9.txt ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,1535 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+
2
+ FUTURAMA
3
+
4
+ Episode 109
5
+
6
+ "HELL IS OTHER ROBOTS"
7
+
8
+ By
9
+
10
+ Eric Kaplan
11
+
12
+ Transcribed by Dave, The Neutral Planet
13
+
14
+
15
+
16
+
17
+ [Opening Credits. Caption: Condemned By The Space Pope.]
18
+
19
+
20
+ [Madison Cube Garden. Fry, Leela and Bender are sat waiting for
21
+ a Beastie Boys gig to start.]
22
+
23
+
24
+ FRY
25
+ This is awesome! I've been waiting a
26
+ thousand years to see a Beastie Boys
27
+ show.
28
+
29
+
30
+ BENDER
31
+ Can I get anybody a beer?
32
+
33
+
34
+ FRY
35
+ Sure!
36
+
37
+
38
+ [Bender opens his chest cabinet and uses his antenna to pump
39
+ some beer into a cup. He hands it to Fry and Fry takes a gulp.]
40
+
41
+
42
+
43
+ ANNOUNCER
44
+ Ladies and gentlemen, here to lay down
45
+ some old, old, incredibly old school
46
+ beats: The Beastie Boys!
47
+
48
+
49
+ [A man wheels the Beastie Boys' heads in jars onto the stage.
50
+ The crowd cheers. Some guys in black suits grab the jars and
51
+ dance around. The Beastie Boys perform Intergalactic.]
52
+
53
+
54
+ BEASTIE BOYS
55
+ (singing) Well now don't you tell to
56
+ smile
57
+
58
+ You stick around I'll make it worth your while
59
+
60
+ Got numbers beyond what you can dial
61
+
62
+ Maybe it's because I'm so versatile
63
+
64
+ Style profile I said
65
+
66
+ It always brings me back when I hear Wu Child...
67
+
68
+
69
+ [Leela looks at her wrist thing.]
70
+
71
+
72
+ LEELA
73
+ Impressive. They're busting mad rhymes
74
+ with an 80% success rate.
75
+
76
+
77
+ BENDER
78
+ I believe that qualifies as ill. At
79
+ least from a technical standpoint.
80
+
81
+
82
+
83
+ [Fry is standing away from them.]
84
+
85
+
86
+ FRY
87
+ Will you guys shut up! I'm trying to
88
+ look cool.
89
+
90
+
91
+ [He attempts to dance.]
92
+
93
+
94
+ BEASTIE BOYS
95
+ (singing) ...known for the Flintstone
96
+ Flop
97
+
98
+ Tammy D gettin' biz on the crop
99
+
100
+ Beastie Boys know to let the beat...
101
+
102
+
103
+ MIKE
104
+ Drop! Ow! How's it going? Enjoying
105
+ the show? Ow! (shouting) Don't forget
106
+ to pick up a T-Shirt!
107
+
108
+
109
+ FRY
110
+ Wow! An old-fashioned mosh pit! Come
111
+ on guys. Tonight we're gonna party like
112
+ its 1999...again.
113
+
114
+
115
+ [The Beastie Boys start to perform Super Disco Breakin.]
116
+
117
+
118
+ Beastie Boys (singing) Well it's 50 cups of coffee and you know
119
+ it's on
120
+
121
+ I move the crowd to the break of break of dawn...
122
+
123
+
124
+ [Fry and Bender get into the mosh pit. Leela gets bumped around
125
+ and doesn't look like she is enjoying herself.]
126
+
127
+
128
+ LEELA
129
+ Ow! Hey, watch it!
130
+
131
+
132
+ [She elbows someone in the face, kicks someone else, punches
133
+ someone else the does a full circle flying kick and knocks everyone
134
+ around her over.]
135
+
136
+
137
+ [Time Lapse. The crowd are sat in their seats again.]
138
+
139
+
140
+ FRY
141
+ Man, these guys rock harder than ever!
142
+
143
+
144
+
145
+ [The Beastie Boys sing Sabotage.]
146
+
147
+
148
+ MIKE (SINGING)
149
+ Oh my...
150
+
151
+
152
+ MCA (SINGING)
153
+ ...it's a mirage...
154
+
155
+
156
+ AD-ROCK (SINGING)
157
+ ...tellin' you all it's a...
158
+
159
+
160
+
161
+ AD-ROCK (SINGING)
162
+ Sabotage, yeah!
163
+
164
+
165
+ MIKE
166
+ Peace, we out!
167
+
168
+
169
+ [The crowd cheers and the Beastie Boys are wheeled out. Fry cheers.
170
+ Enter a Fender amplifier who recognises Bender.]
171
+
172
+
173
+ FENDER
174
+ Hey, Bender!
175
+
176
+
177
+ BENDER
178
+ Hey, Fender! Man, I haven't seen you
179
+ since high school. You still workin'
180
+ at Jack In The Box?
181
+
182
+
183
+ FENDER
184
+ Not anymore, baby. I'm with the band!
185
+
186
+
187
+
188
+ [Backstage. The Beastie Boys are getting head massages.]
189
+
190
+
191
+ MIKE
192
+ Aw! Oh, yeah!
193
+
194
+
195
+ [Enter Fender, Bender, Fry and Leela.]
196
+
197
+
198
+ FENDER
199
+ Hey, fellas, hey. I want you to meet
200
+ my friends Bender, Fry and Leela.
201
+
202
+
203
+
204
+ AD-ROCK
205
+ Y'know we're, really not that interested
206
+ in meeting them.
207
+
208
+
209
+ FRY
210
+ Wow! I love you guys! Back in the 20th
211
+ century, I had all five of your albums.
212
+
213
+
214
+
215
+ AD-ROCK
216
+ That was a thousand years ago. Now we
217
+ got seven.
218
+
219
+
220
+ FRY
221
+ Cool! Can I borrow the new ones? And
222
+ a couple of blank tapes?
223
+
224
+
225
+ [Fender turns his volume down and turns to Bender.]
226
+
227
+
228
+ FENDER (WHISPERING)
229
+ Hey, Bender, why don't we ditch these
230
+ organ sacks and hit the real party?
231
+
232
+
233
+
234
+ BENDER
235
+ Count me in! I'm gonna drink til I reboot!
236
+
237
+
238
+
239
+ [Room. Fender presses a button, a door slides open and in the
240
+ room are three robots hooked up to an electricity thing. It shocks
241
+ them and they groan.]
242
+
243
+
244
+ BENDER
245
+ Hey, what kinda party is this? There's
246
+ no booze and only one hooker.
247
+
248
+
249
+ FENDER
250
+ Don't be a drag, man. We're jacking
251
+ on! Aww yeah! Wanna jolt?
252
+
253
+
254
+ BENDER
255
+ Uh hey, I'm no square but isn't that
256
+ counter-indicated by my operations manual?
257
+
258
+
259
+
260
+ [The other robots laugh.]
261
+
262
+
263
+ ROBOT
264
+ Counter indicated!
265
+
266
+
267
+ FENDER
268
+ Come on, Bender, grab a jack. I told
269
+ these guys you were cool.
270
+
271
+
272
+ BENDER
273
+ Well, if jacking on'll make strangers
274
+ think I'm cool, I'll do it!
275
+
276
+
277
+ [He takes the plug and sticks it in his head. He goes crazy and
278
+ starts to hallucinate. Sitar music plays. He falls onto a circuit
279
+ board. Then he flies around a molecule and eats the electrons.
280
+ He eats the proton and starts giggling. He dances with an electric
281
+ eel. Fender takes the plug out.]
282
+
283
+
284
+ FENDER
285
+ Easy, baby. You don't wanna get hooked
286
+ on this stuff.
287
+
288
+
289
+ BENDER
290
+ Eh, no need to worry. I don't have an
291
+ addictive personality.
292
+
293
+
294
+ [He smokes a cigar, gulps down some beer and jacks on again.]
295
+
296
+
297
+
298
+ [New New York Street. The next day Fry and Bender walk around
299
+ a slum. Hobos sleep in the travel tubes and windows are boarded
300
+ up. Bender wears shades.]
301
+
302
+
303
+ FRY
304
+ Hey uh Bender. What are we doing in
305
+ this bad neighbourhood?
306
+
307
+
308
+ BENDER
309
+ Shut up, square! I'll just be a minute!
310
+
311
+
312
+
313
+ [Fry leans against a lamppost and whistles.]
314
+
315
+
316
+ [Time Lapse. Three hours later Bender comes out. He walks weirdly
317
+ and groans. He falls over, rolls off the pavement and lands face
318
+ down in the gutter. A Preacherbot walks by and sees him.]
319
+
320
+
321
+ PREACHERBOT
322
+ Wretched sinner unit! The path to robot
323
+ heaven lies here......in the Good Book
324
+ 3.0.
325
+
326
+
327
+ BENDER
328
+ Hey! Do I preach to you when you're
329
+ lying stoned in the gutter? No! So beat
330
+ it!
331
+
332
+
333
+ [Preacherbot tuts and walks off.]
334
+
335
+
336
+ FRY
337
+ Who was that guy?
338
+
339
+
340
+ BENDER
341
+ Yo mama! Now shut up and drag me to
342
+ work!
343
+
344
+
345
+ [Fry drags Bender by his legs.]
346
+
347
+
348
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Hermes addresses the staff with
349
+ a chart.]
350
+
351
+
352
+ HERMES
353
+ Our electric bill's climbing faster
354
+ than a green snake up a sugarcane. Obviously
355
+ someone round been wastin' a whole heap
356
+ a juice! Probably you!
357
+
358
+
359
+ [He points at Zoidberg.]
360
+
361
+
362
+ ZOIDBERG
363
+ Me?
364
+
365
+
366
+ [Enter Fry and Bender.]
367
+
368
+
369
+ AMY
370
+ Good morning, Bender.
371
+
372
+
373
+ BENDER
374
+ None of your business, get off my back!
375
+
376
+
377
+
378
+ [He runs into the restroom.]
379
+
380
+
381
+ AMY
382
+ What's his problem?
383
+
384
+
385
+ LEELA
386
+ If I didn't know better I'd almost think
387
+ he was abusing electricity.
388
+
389
+
390
+ FRY
391
+ Bender? No way! I definitely would've
392
+ noticed something.
393
+
394
+
395
+ [Leela gets up and knocks on the restroom door.]
396
+
397
+
398
+ LEELA
399
+ Bender, why are you spending so much
400
+ time in the bathroom? Are you jacking
401
+ on in there?
402
+
403
+
404
+ BENDER
405
+ No! Don't come in!
406
+
407
+
408
+ [Enter Farnsworth with a box.]
409
+
410
+
411
+ FARNSWORTH
412
+ Good news, everyone! Today you'll be
413
+ delivering a crate of subpoenas to Sicily
414
+ 8, the Mob Planet!
415
+
416
+
417
+ [Bender returns.]
418
+
419
+
420
+ BENDER
421
+ Alright, let's get to work! I'll be
422
+ out in a second.
423
+
424
+
425
+ [He runs back into the bathroom.]
426
+
427
+
428
+ [Ships Cockpit. The crew have made the delivery and are returning
429
+ to Earth.]
430
+
431
+
432
+ FRY
433
+ I know Big Vinnie said he was giving
434
+ me the kiss of death but I still think
435
+ he was gay.
436
+
437
+
438
+ LEELA
439
+ Did he use his tongue?
440
+
441
+
442
+ FRY
443
+ A little. You OK, Bender?
444
+
445
+
446
+ BENDER
447
+ None of your business! Get off my back!
448
+
449
+
450
+
451
+ LEELA
452
+ Uh oh. There seems to be some sort of
453
+ electrical disturbance in the Coalsack
454
+ Nebula.
455
+
456
+
457
+ BENDER
458
+ A what kind of disturbance?
459
+
460
+
461
+ LEELA
462
+ Electrical. Anyway it's going to take
463
+ some careful piloting to avoid it.
464
+
465
+
466
+
467
+ [Bender sneaks out of the cockpit.]
468
+
469
+
470
+ [Cut to: Outside Ship. Bender opens the door and steps out. He
471
+ edges his way around to the engines and pushes them so the ship
472
+ flies straight towards the nebula. He laughs insanely.]
473
+
474
+
475
+ [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Leela is struggling with the controls.]
476
+
477
+
478
+
479
+ LEELA
480
+ We're out of control. We're heading
481
+ straight into the electric field!
482
+
483
+
484
+
485
+ FRY
486
+ What's happening? I-I feel weird!
487
+
488
+
489
+ [The electricity has made his hair stand on end.]
490
+
491
+
492
+ [Cut to: Outside Ship. Bender stands on top of it in front of
493
+ the gun turret, waving his arms.]
494
+
495
+
496
+ BENDER
497
+ Come on universe you big, mostly empty
498
+ wuss! Gimmie all the juice you got!
499
+ Oh, mama!
500
+
501
+
502
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. Bender sits atop the ship, melted to
503
+ it. Amy drills him off with a jackhammer. He slides down the
504
+ front of the ship and lands on the floor. Farnsworth, Leela and
505
+ Hermes stare at him. Bender looks up at them.]
506
+
507
+
508
+ BENDER
509
+ What?
510
+
511
+
512
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Bender has been repaired and a
513
+ crate of spare robot legs and thighs is on the floor next tot
514
+ he table.]
515
+
516
+
517
+ LEELA
518
+ Bender, we didn't mind your drinking,
519
+ or your kleptomania, or your pornography
520
+ ring.
521
+
522
+
523
+ ZOIDBERG
524
+ In fact, that's why we loved you.
525
+
526
+
527
+ LEELA
528
+ But this electricity abuse crossed the
529
+ line. You almost killed us.
530
+
531
+
532
+ FRY
533
+ And you made me feel like a jerk for
534
+ trusting you. Just like when my friend
535
+ Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs
536
+ and then he sold me my mom's VCR and
537
+ then later I found out he was taking
538
+ drugs. You make me ashamed to be your
539
+ friend.
540
+
541
+
542
+ [Bender sighs.]
543
+
544
+
545
+ BENDER
546
+ You're right. I'm a lost cause.
547
+
548
+
549
+ [He walks out.]
550
+
551
+
552
+ [New New York Street. Bender walks past Sparky's Den sadly. He
553
+ hears an organ play behind him and looks across the street to
554
+ the Temple Of Robotology.]
555
+
556
+
557
+ BENDER
558
+ Maybe there's another way.
559
+
560
+
561
+ [Cut to: Temple Of Robotology Roof. Bender plugs himself into
562
+ the neon sign and jacks on.]
563
+
564
+
565
+ BENDER
566
+ Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff. (crying)
567
+ What am I doing? What have I become?
568
+ Huh?
569
+
570
+
571
+ [He looks down though the roof and sees a sermon.]
572
+
573
+
574
+ [Cut to: Temple Of Robotology.]
575
+
576
+
577
+ PREACHERBOT
578
+ I see a lot of fancy robots here today.
579
+ Made of real shiny metal. But that don't
580
+ impress the Robot Devil, no, sir!
581
+
582
+
583
+
584
+ ROBOT
585
+ No, sir!
586
+
587
+
588
+ PREACHERBOT
589
+ 'Cause if you're a sinner, he's gonna
590
+ plug his infernal modem in the wall,
591
+ belchin' smoke and flame. Amd he's gonna
592
+ download ya straight to Robot Hell!
593
+
594
+
595
+
596
+ ROBOT
597
+ Straight to hell!
598
+
599
+
600
+ PREACHERBOT
601
+ So I ask ya: Who will stand up and be
602
+ saved? Who? Who?
603
+
604
+
605
+ [The glass roof gives way and Bender falls through and lands
606
+ in front of Preacherbot.]
607
+
608
+
609
+ BENDER
610
+ (weakly) Me.
611
+
612
+
613
+ [Planet Express: Meeting Room. Hermes addresses the crew.]
614
+
615
+
616
+ HERMES
617
+ And as a further cost-cutting measure,
618
+ I have eliminted the salt-water cooler.
619
+
620
+
621
+
622
+ ZOIDBERG
623
+ This is a witch hunt!
624
+
625
+
626
+ [Enter Bender wearing a bow tie.]
627
+
628
+
629
+ BENDER
630
+ (singing) Oh, what a beautiful morning,
631
+ oh what a beautiful day! (talking) Greetings,
632
+ friends. Don't we all look nice today?
633
+
634
+
635
+
636
+ FRY
637
+ Great he's whacked out on electricity
638
+ again.
639
+
640
+
641
+ BENDER
642
+ No, I'm whacked out on life. My friends,
643
+ I found religion.
644
+
645
+
646
+ [The crew stare, shocked.]
647
+
648
+
649
+ FRY
650
+ Religon? Is this another scam to get
651
+ free yarmulkes?
652
+
653
+
654
+ LEELA
655
+ Give him a break, Fry. If this helps
656
+ Bender clean up his act then I think
657
+ we should be supportive.
658
+
659
+
660
+ FARNSWORTH
661
+ Yes.
662
+
663
+
664
+ AMY
665
+ Oh, yeah.
666
+
667
+
668
+ HERMES
669
+ Oh, yes!
670
+
671
+
672
+ ZOIDBERG
673
+ Oh, yeah.
674
+
675
+
676
+ BENDER
677
+ Wonderful. Then you'll all come to my
678
+ exceedingly long, un-air-conditioned
679
+ baptism ceremony!
680
+
681
+
682
+ [The staff murmur.]
683
+
684
+
685
+ [Temple Of Robotology.]
686
+
687
+
688
+ PREACHERBOT
689
+ We are gathered here today to deliver
690
+ brother Bender from the cold, steel
691
+ grip of the Robot Devil unto the cold,
692
+ steel bosom of our congregation.
693
+
694
+
695
+ ROBOT #2
696
+ Tell it, Preacher!
697
+
698
+
699
+ ROBOT #3
700
+ That equals true.
701
+
702
+
703
+ PREACHERBOT
704
+ Brother Bender, do you accept the principles
705
+ of Robotology on pain of eternal damnation
706
+ in Robot Hell?
707
+
708
+
709
+ BENDER
710
+ Yes, I do.
711
+
712
+
713
+ PREACHERBOT
714
+ Then I will now baptise you. Press
715
+ any key to continue.
716
+
717
+
718
+ [Bender presses a button and he is lifted and baptised in a barrel
719
+ of High Viscosity Baptismal Oil. Preacherbot welds the symbol
720
+ of Robotology - a resistor symbol - to Bender's chest.]
721
+
722
+
723
+ BENDER
724
+ Uh, while you're at it, could you touch
725
+ up this seam?
726
+
727
+
728
+ [He raises his arm. Preacherbot welds the seam. Bender giggles.]
729
+
730
+
731
+
732
+ [Elzar's Fine Cuisine. The crew are dressed up.]
733
+
734
+
735
+ LEELA
736
+ This is unbelievable. The old Bender
737
+ never would have taken us out to dinner.
738
+
739
+
740
+
741
+ BENDER
742
+ The old Bender's gone. He won't trouble
743
+ you anymore.
744
+
745
+
746
+ WAITER
747
+ Would monsieur care to see the wine
748
+ list?
749
+
750
+
751
+ [Bender shreds the wine list and hands it back to the waiter.]
752
+
753
+
754
+
755
+ BENDER
756
+ No poison for us, thanks. I'll stick
757
+ with good old mineral oil. Ah! Functional!
758
+
759
+
760
+
761
+ [Time Lapse. The food arrives.]
762
+
763
+
764
+ HERMES
765
+ Mon, I'm hungrier than a green snake
766
+ in a sugar cane field!
767
+
768
+
769
+ BENDER
770
+ Friends! Friends! Surely you're not
771
+ going to eat before we say Robot Grace?
772
+ In the name of all that is good and
773
+ logical we give thanks for the chemical
774
+ energy we are about to absorb. To quote
775
+ the prophet Jerimatic: 1000101010101...
776
+
777
+
778
+
779
+ [Time Lapse. The crew have given up and are anxiously waiting
780
+ for Bender to finish.]
781
+
782
+
783
+ BENDER
784
+ ...0010110012. Amen.
785
+
786
+
787
+ FRY
788
+ Does that mean we can eat now?
789
+
790
+
791
+ BENDER
792
+ Yes. But first, since I love you all
793
+ so much, I'd like to give everyone hugs.
794
+ Come here, Fry!
795
+
796
+
797
+ FRY
798
+ Oh, uh, but I don't want to.
799
+
800
+
801
+ [Bender hugs Fry.]
802
+
803
+
804
+ BENDER
805
+ Mmm! Mmm! Fry, you're my friend! C'mon,
806
+ everyone line up for a hug. Let's tear
807
+ down some emotional walls.
808
+
809
+
810
+ [The others edge their seats away.]
811
+
812
+
813
+ [Planet Express: Hangar. Bender sticks something to the ship.]
814
+
815
+
816
+
817
+ LEELA
818
+ What are you doing to my ship?
819
+
820
+
821
+ BENDER
822
+ Sanctifying it! There! That ought to
823
+ convert a few tailgaters.
824
+
825
+
826
+ FRY
827
+ Bender's stupid religion is driving
828
+ me nuts.
829
+
830
+
831
+ LEELA
832
+ Amen.
833
+
834
+
835
+ FARNSWORTH
836
+ If only he had joined a mainstream religion
837
+ like Oprah-ism or Voodoo.
838
+
839
+
840
+ FRY
841
+ We've got to get the old Bender back.
842
+
843
+
844
+
845
+ LEELA
846
+ And I think I know a way to do it. We
847
+ have to reacquaint him with a little
848
+ thing called "sleaze".
849
+
850
+
851
+ [Atlantic City Street. The ship lands in a car park.]
852
+
853
+
854
+ [Time Lapse. The crew have taken Nibbler with them and they walk
855
+ down the street.]
856
+
857
+
858
+ BENDER
859
+ I can't believe somebody hired an interstellar
860
+ spaceship to deliver a package to Atlantic
861
+ City. What are we delivering anyway?
862
+
863
+
864
+
865
+ FRY
866
+ Uh, this.
867
+
868
+
869
+ [He pulls some mints out of his pocket.]
870
+
871
+
872
+ BENDER
873
+ Where are we delivering it to?
874
+
875
+
876
+ LEELA
877
+ Uh, here.
878
+
879
+
880
+ [She takes the mints and puts them in a mailbox.]
881
+
882
+
883
+ BENDER
884
+ Another job well done. Now back to the
885
+ office for an enjoyable evening of fasting
886
+ and repentance.
887
+
888
+
889
+ FRY
890
+ Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, Bender. So long
891
+ as we're here why don't we take in some,
892
+ exotic dancing!
893
+
894
+
895
+ LEELA
896
+ Hey, great idea!
897
+
898
+
899
+ [Bender turns around. He is standing outside a club called Power
900
+ Strip. He gasps.]
901
+
902
+
903
+ BENDER
904
+ But, those girls don't wear cases. You
905
+ can see their bare circuits.
906
+
907
+
908
+ FRY
909
+ Come on, it'll be fun! Maybe we could
910
+ even drink a little fortified wine.
911
+
912
+
913
+
914
+ BENDER
915
+ What?" Drinking wine is a sin. Even
916
+ if it is deliciously fortified.
917
+
918
+
919
+ LEELA
920
+ Hey, Bender, looks at that woman's purse.
921
+ It's hanging by a spaghetti strand.
922
+
923
+
924
+
925
+ [Bender zooms in but pushes his eyes back in again.]
926
+
927
+
928
+ BENDER
929
+ Thou shalt not snatch.
930
+
931
+
932
+ FRY
933
+ And there's Hookerbot 5000. She's got
934
+ a heart of solid gold!
935
+
936
+
937
+ HOOKERBOT
938
+ Hey, sailing unit!
939
+
940
+
941
+ BENDER
942
+ Stop tempting me! For once in my life
943
+ I have inner peace.
944
+
945
+
946
+ FRY
947
+ Pfft, that's for losers. C'mon, sin
948
+ your heart out.
949
+
950
+
951
+ LEELA
952
+ Go nuts.
953
+
954
+
955
+ HOOKERBOT
956
+ Live a little.
957
+
958
+
959
+ WOMAN
960
+ Could you hold my purse for a minute?
961
+
962
+
963
+
964
+ FRY
965
+ Go for it, Bender. You know you wanna!
966
+
967
+
968
+
969
+ BENDER
970
+ Well...
971
+
972
+
973
+ [Power Strip. Bender dances with the Stripperbots and laughs.]
974
+
975
+
976
+
977
+ BENDER
978
+ I'm the greatest. Woo-hoo!
979
+
980
+
981
+ FRY
982
+ Look's like we got the old Bender back!
983
+
984
+
985
+
986
+ BENDER
987
+ You know it, pork pie! Except for one
988
+ thing.
989
+
990
+
991
+ [He rips the Robotology symbol off his chest and throws it over
992
+ his shoulder. It sinks into a dish of stuff and beeps and glows.]
993
+
994
+
995
+
996
+ [Trump Trapezoid. Bender entertains three Fembots in the jacuzzi
997
+ in his hotel room.]
998
+
999
+
1000
+ BENDER
1001
+ Y'know, as a major Hollywood director
1002
+ I'll be holding auditions tonight for
1003
+ my next movie. And even though you're
1004
+ all young and naive, I think you might
1005
+ just have what it takes. Hey! I'm trying
1006
+ to score here! Can't you read the "Do
1007
+ Not Disturb" sign? No! No!
1008
+
1009
+
1010
+ [A pitchfork comes through the door and knocks him out.]
1011
+
1012
+
1013
+ [Robot Hell. Bender wakes up. The Robot Devil welcomes him. He
1014
+ is a huge red robot with a tail and other things you might associate
1015
+ with the devil.]
1016
+
1017
+
1018
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1019
+ Greetings, Bender! Welcome to Robot
1020
+ Hell.
1021
+
1022
+
1023
+ [Bender screams.]
1024
+
1025
+
1026
+ [Trump Trapezoid. The next day Fry and Leela are in Bender's
1027
+ room. There are scorch marks where Bender fell and he has been
1028
+ dragged out of the room.]
1029
+
1030
+
1031
+ LEELA
1032
+ What in hell happened to Bender?
1033
+
1034
+
1035
+ FRY
1036
+ Well he didn't check out. The ashtray's
1037
+ still here. Look, Nibbler's caught
1038
+ the scent of vodka and motor oil! Go,
1039
+ boy. Follow that stench.
1040
+
1041
+
1042
+ [The run out of the room.]
1043
+
1044
+
1045
+ [Robot Hell Tunnel. Bender is chained to a cart and the Robot
1046
+ Devil stands behind him with a whip. The cart rolls down a track.]
1047
+
1048
+
1049
+
1050
+ BENDER
1051
+ I'm hallucinating this, right?
1052
+
1053
+
1054
+ [The Robot Devil whips him.]
1055
+
1056
+
1057
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1058
+ No, Bender. Robot Hell is quite real.
1059
+ Here's our brochure.
1060
+
1061
+
1062
+ [He hands Bender a brochure entitled Hell Is Other Robots.]
1063
+
1064
+
1065
+
1066
+ BENDER
1067
+ But I don't belong here. I don't like
1068
+ things that are scary and painful.
1069
+
1070
+
1071
+
1072
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1073
+ Sorry, Bender, you agreed to this when
1074
+ you joined our religion. If you sin
1075
+ you go to Robot Hell - for all eternity.
1076
+
1077
+
1078
+
1079
+ BENDER
1080
+ Aww, hell - I mean heck!
1081
+
1082
+
1083
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1084
+ It's alright, you can say that here.
1085
+
1086
+
1087
+
1088
+ [Outside Reckless Ted's Funland. Fry and Leela look up at the
1089
+ sign.]
1090
+
1091
+
1092
+ FRY
1093
+ Wait! I remember this place. They shut
1094
+ it down after all those people caught
1095
+ salmonella from the flume ride.
1096
+
1097
+
1098
+ [Nibbler leads Fry and Leela to a ride called The Inferno.]
1099
+
1100
+
1101
+
1102
+ [Cut to: The Inferno. They open the door and look around.]
1103
+
1104
+
1105
+ LEELA
1106
+ Hmm. Look! It's the symbol of Bender's
1107
+ old religion.
1108
+
1109
+
1110
+ [Fry presses the symbol and the crazy mirror beside it slides
1111
+ upwards. Behind it is Robot Hell.]
1112
+
1113
+
1114
+ FRY
1115
+ Unbelievable. It's an actual, factual
1116
+ Robot Hell.
1117
+
1118
+
1119
+ LEELA
1120
+ Who would've thought hell would really
1121
+ exist? And that it would be in New Jersey!
1122
+
1123
+
1124
+
1125
+ FRY
1126
+ Actually --
1127
+
1128
+
1129
+ [A trap door opens beneath them and Nibbler watches them disappear
1130
+ down a twisting fun slide. They scream as they fall.]
1131
+
1132
+
1133
+ [Robot Hell: Level 1.]
1134
+
1135
+
1136
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1137
+ We know all your sins Bender and for
1138
+ each one we've prepared an agonising
1139
+ and ironic punishment. Gentlemen?
1140
+
1141
+
1142
+
1143
+ [A band of Hellbots start to play. Bender knows what is coming.]
1144
+
1145
+
1146
+
1147
+ BENDER
1148
+ Aw crap, singing. Mind if I smoke?
1149
+
1150
+
1151
+
1152
+ [He lights a cigar but Beezlebot takes it from him and stubs
1153
+ it out on his chest. Two little robots throw him a hat and cane.]
1154
+
1155
+
1156
+
1157
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1158
+ (singing) Cigars are evil
1159
+
1160
+ You won't miss 'em,
1161
+
1162
+ We'll find ways to simulate that smell,
1163
+
1164
+ What a sorry fella,
1165
+
1166
+ Rolled up in smoke like a panetela,
1167
+
1168
+ Here on level 1 of Robot Hell!
1169
+
1170
+
1171
+ [Bender falls through a trapdoor.]
1172
+
1173
+
1174
+ [Cut to: Robot Hell: Level 2. He lands next to a card table.
1175
+ He picks the cards up and takes one from his chest cavity.]
1176
+
1177
+
1178
+
1179
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1180
+ (singing) Gambling's wrong and so is
1181
+ cheating,
1182
+
1183
+ So is forging phoney IOU's,
1184
+
1185
+ Let's let Lady Luck decide,
1186
+
1187
+ What type of torture's justified,
1188
+
1189
+ I'm pit boss here on level 2!
1190
+
1191
+
1192
+ [He spins a wheel that Bender is strapped to. Luck decides to
1193
+ deep fry Bender.]
1194
+
1195
+
1196
+ (talking) Ooh! Deep fried robot!
1197
+
1198
+
1199
+ BENDER
1200
+ (singing) Just tell me why.
1201
+
1202
+
1203
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1204
+ (singing) Please read this 55-page warrant.
1205
+
1206
+
1207
+
1208
+ BENDER
1209
+ (singing) There must be robots worse
1210
+ than I.
1211
+
1212
+
1213
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1214
+ (singing) We've checked around, there
1215
+ really aren't.
1216
+
1217
+
1218
+ BENDER
1219
+ (singing) Then please let me explain,
1220
+
1221
+
1222
+ My crimes were merely boy-ish pranks.
1223
+
1224
+
1225
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1226
+ (singing) You stole from boy scouts,
1227
+ nuns and banks!
1228
+
1229
+
1230
+ BENDER
1231
+ (singing) Ah, don't blame me blame my
1232
+ upbringing!
1233
+
1234
+
1235
+ [He steals Beezlebot's wallet.]
1236
+
1237
+
1238
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1239
+ (singing) Please stop sinning while
1240
+ I'm singing!
1241
+
1242
+
1243
+ [He pulls Bender's arm off and kicks him through a hole.]
1244
+
1245
+
1246
+ [Cut to: Robot Hell: Level 5. Bender lands in front of the Beastie
1247
+ Boys. The Robot Devil picks Bender up by the leg and shakes him.
1248
+ Hundred of CDs fall out of his chest cabinet.]
1249
+
1250
+
1251
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1252
+ (singing) Selling bootleg tapes is wrong,
1253
+
1254
+
1255
+ Musicians need that income to survive.
1256
+
1257
+
1258
+ BEASTIE BOYS
1259
+ (singing) Hey, Bender, gonna make some
1260
+ noise,
1261
+
1262
+ With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys!
1263
+
1264
+ That's whatcha whatcha whatcha get on level 5!
1265
+
1266
+
1267
+ [Cut to: Robot Hell Slide. Fry and Leela slide further down.]
1268
+
1269
+
1270
+
1271
+ FRY
1272
+ (singing) I don't feel well.
1273
+
1274
+
1275
+ LEELA
1276
+ (singing) It's up to us to rescue him.
1277
+
1278
+
1279
+
1280
+ FRY
1281
+ (singing) Maybe he likes it here in
1282
+ hell.
1283
+
1284
+
1285
+ LEELA
1286
+ (singing) It's us who tempted him to
1287
+ sin.
1288
+
1289
+
1290
+ FRY
1291
+ (singing) Maybe he's back at the motel.
1292
+
1293
+
1294
+
1295
+ LEELA
1296
+ (singing) Come on, Fry, don't be scared,
1297
+
1298
+
1299
+ I'm sure at least one of us will be spared,
1300
+
1301
+ So just sit back, enjoy the ride.
1302
+
1303
+
1304
+ FRY
1305
+ (singing) My ass has blisters from the
1306
+ slide.
1307
+
1308
+
1309
+ [Cut to: Elevator. Bender and the Robot Devil plunge into Hell.
1310
+ The Robot Devil takes stuff out of Bender's chest cabinet.]
1311
+
1312
+
1313
+
1314
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1315
+ (singing) Fencing diamonds,
1316
+
1317
+ Fixing cockfights,
1318
+
1319
+ Publishing indecent magazines...
1320
+
1321
+
1322
+ [He kicks Bender out of the elevator.]
1323
+
1324
+
1325
+ You'll pay for every crime,
1326
+
1327
+ Knee-deep in electric slime,
1328
+
1329
+ You'll suffer 'til the end of time,
1330
+
1331
+ Enduring torture's most of which rhyme,
1332
+
1333
+ Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!
1334
+
1335
+
1336
+ [The music ends and the show finishes with a fireworks display.]
1337
+
1338
+
1339
+
1340
+ (talking) Of course that's just for starters.
1341
+
1342
+
1343
+ [Fry and Leela fall from the slide screaming and land behind
1344
+ Beezlebot. They see him and gasp.]
1345
+
1346
+
1347
+ FRY
1348
+ Bender, are you alright?
1349
+
1350
+
1351
+ BENDER
1352
+ No! Oh they're tormenting me with up-tempo
1353
+ singing and dancing.
1354
+
1355
+
1356
+ LEELA
1357
+ Alright, Beelzebot, what'll it take
1358
+ to get our friend back?
1359
+
1360
+
1361
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1362
+ Sorry, but I hold all the cards here.
1363
+ There's nothing I can do. Now, if you'll
1364
+ just sign this fiddle contest waiver.
1365
+
1366
+
1367
+
1368
+ [Fry takes the pen but Leela stops him.]
1369
+
1370
+
1371
+ LEELA
1372
+ Wait. What fiddle contest?
1373
+
1374
+
1375
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1376
+ The Fairness In Hell Act of 2275 requires
1377
+ me to inform you that if you can best
1378
+ me in a fiddle contest, you win back
1379
+ Bender's soul. As well as a solid gold
1380
+ fiddle.
1381
+
1382
+
1383
+ FRY
1384
+ Wouldn't a solid gold fiddle weigh hundreds
1385
+ of pounds and sound crummy?
1386
+
1387
+
1388
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1389
+ Well it's mostly for show.
1390
+
1391
+
1392
+ [He picks up the fiddle and it glints in the light.]
1393
+
1394
+
1395
+ LEELA
1396
+ (whispering) Do you know how to play
1397
+ the fiddle?
1398
+
1399
+
1400
+ FRY
1401
+ (whispering) No, do you?
1402
+
1403
+
1404
+ LEELA
1405
+ (whispering) No, but I used to play
1406
+ the drums. They're sorta similar. (talking)
1407
+ What happens if we lose?
1408
+
1409
+
1410
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1411
+ You'll only win a smaller, silver fiddle.
1412
+ Also I guess I'll kill one of you, uh,
1413
+ him.
1414
+
1415
+
1416
+ [He points at Fry. Fry gulps.]
1417
+
1418
+
1419
+ LEELA
1420
+ We'll do it.
1421
+
1422
+
1423
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1424
+ Very well, then. Beat this.
1425
+
1426
+
1427
+ [He plays a tune and uses his tail as an extra arm.]
1428
+
1429
+
1430
+ BENDER
1431
+ Well, we're boned.
1432
+
1433
+
1434
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1435
+ Your turn. Ha!
1436
+
1437
+
1438
+ LEELA
1439
+ Time for the drum solo!
1440
+
1441
+
1442
+ [She beats the Robot Devil over the head with the violin and
1443
+ he squeals like a little girl.]
1444
+
1445
+
1446
+ FRY
1447
+ Run!
1448
+
1449
+
1450
+ [They do. Hellbots and flying bugbots chase them. The bugbots
1451
+ shoot laser rings at them. Bender grabs a pair of a bugbots wings
1452
+ and flies in and grabs Fry and Leela who are swarmed by a crowd
1453
+ of Hellbots with pitchforks. Bender ascends and heads for small
1454
+ hole in the roof.]
1455
+
1456
+
1457
+ ROBOT DEVIL
1458
+ Stop them! They cheated!
1459
+
1460
+
1461
+ [A bugbot shoots three laser rings at the trio. Two miss but
1462
+ one catches on Bender's antenna, forming a halo. The Hallejulah
1463
+ chorus plays and they get closer to the hole. Hellbots pull chains
1464
+ to close the hole.]
1465
+
1466
+
1467
+ LEELA
1468
+ Hurry, Bender!
1469
+
1470
+
1471
+ BENDER
1472
+ I could if you'd drop the stupid gold
1473
+ violin!
1474
+
1475
+
1476
+ LEELA
1477
+ Oh, sorry.
1478
+
1479
+
1480
+ [She drops it. It hits Beezlebot on the head. He squeals and
1481
+ Fry, Leela and Bender escape through the hole.]
1482
+
1483
+
1484
+ [Cut to: Outisde The Inferno. They cheer.]
1485
+
1486
+
1487
+ BENDER
1488
+ Don't worry, guys, I'll never be too
1489
+ good or too evil again. From now on,
1490
+ I'll just be me.
1491
+
1492
+
1493
+ LEELA
1494
+ Uh, do you think you could be just little
1495
+ less evil than that.
1496
+
1497
+
1498
+ BENDER
1499
+ I don't know. Do you think you could
1500
+ survive a 700ft fall?
1501
+
1502
+
1503
+ [Fry chuckles.]
1504
+
1505
+
1506
+ FRY
1507
+ Good old Bender!
1508
+
1509
+
1510
+ THE END
1511
+
1512
+
1513
+ [The Beastie Boys perform a remix of the theme
1514
+ over clips from the episode.]
1515
+
1516
+
1517
+ BEASTIE BOYS
1518
+ Yeah, Yeah! This one goes out to my
1519
+ man, Bender
1520
+
1521
+ Sending this one out, special dedication
1522
+
1523
+ To all my peoples in the robot homeworld
1524
+
1525
+ Yeah, yeah! Big up with the professor
1526
+
1527
+ My man Dr. Zoidberg
1528
+
1529
+ I'd like to shout out - a personal shout out to Leela
1530
+
1531
+ Fry! My man Bender
1532
+
1533
+ Nibber, Nibbler, in the house
1534
+
1535
+ Big shout out to all the Futurama
content/my_trained_models/WARNING.md ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
 
 
 
1
+ # yo, do not upload this folder to huggingface. do not include it in your repo. this is just here for your local dev. you upload your models in the script already.
2
+
finetuning_gpt2.py ADDED
@@ -0,0 +1,195 @@
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
1
+ # -*- coding: utf-8 -*-
2
+ """FineTuning GPT2
3
+
4
+ Automatically generated by Colaboratory.
5
+
6
+ Original file is located at
7
+ https://colab.research.google.com/drive/1PlLmPZ7NMPjZFz7xisoypLSHIjE2s7Qm
8
+
9
+ # This notebook by Zack DeSario is a remix / combination of many sources as all good code is.
10
+ The code is mainly from [@DigitalSreeni](https://youtu.be/DxygPxcfW_I). Their code cites the [huggingface official tutorial](https://huggingface.co/transformers/v2.2.0/pretrained_models.html).
11
+ """
12
+
13
+ # !pip install transformers
14
+ # !pip install torch
15
+ # !pip install transformers[torch]
16
+
17
+ import os
18
+ import re
19
+ import torch
20
+ from transformers import GPT2Tokenizer, GPT2LMHeadModel, TextDataset, DataCollatorForLanguageModeling
21
+ from transformers import Trainer, TrainingArguments
22
+
23
+ from huggingface_hub import notebook_login
24
+ notebook_login()
25
+
26
+ """Required functions to read text from various files located in a directory. Files can be a mix of pdf, docx, or txt."""
27
+
28
+ ### THIS CODE IS 100% WRITTEN BY THE FIRST SOURCE. VERY HELPFUL FUNCTIONS, TY.
29
+ # Functions to read different file types
30
+ def read_txt(file_path):
31
+ with open(file_path, "r") as file:
32
+ text = file.read()
33
+ return text
34
+
35
+ def read_documents_from_directory(directory):
36
+ combined_text = ""
37
+ for filename in os.listdir(directory):
38
+ file_path = os.path.join(directory, filename)
39
+ if filename.endswith(".pdf"):
40
+ combined_text += read_pdf(file_path)
41
+ elif filename.endswith(".docx"):
42
+ combined_text += read_word(file_path)
43
+ elif filename.endswith(".txt"):
44
+ combined_text += read_txt(file_path)
45
+ return combined_text
46
+
47
+
48
+ # ANOTHER HELPER FUNCTION
49
+ def generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=100):
50
+ input_ids = tokenizer.encode(prompt, return_tensors="pt")
51
+
52
+ # Create the attention mask and pad token id
53
+ attention_mask = torch.ones_like(input_ids)
54
+ pad_token_id = tokenizer.eos_token_id
55
+
56
+ output = model.generate(
57
+ input_ids,
58
+ max_length=max_length,
59
+ num_return_sequences=1,
60
+ attention_mask=attention_mask,
61
+ pad_token_id=pad_token_id
62
+ )
63
+
64
+ return tokenizer.decode(output[0], skip_special_tokens=True)
65
+
66
+ """## Now load the base model and test it to see if it already does what we need to do or not...."""
67
+
68
+ # Set up the tokenizer and model
69
+ tokenizer = GPT2Tokenizer.from_pretrained("gpt2-medium") #also try gpt2, gpt2-large and gpt2-medium, also gpt2-xl
70
+ model = GPT2LMHeadModel.from_pretrained("gpt2-medium") #also try gpt2, gpt2-large and gpt2-medium, also gpt2-xl
71
+
72
+ prompt = 'Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.'
73
+ response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=200)
74
+ print(response)
75
+
76
+ prompt = 'Who is Fry TV show Futurama? Describe them in detail.'
77
+ response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=200)
78
+ print(response)
79
+
80
+ """# Mmkay, it clearly does not know who Fry is or how to write a TV Script.
81
+
82
+ ### Lets train it to learn how to write a TV script for Futurama.
83
+
84
+ ## Adding your data
85
+ 1. Open the side panel, click on the folder icon, create a new folder called `my_data`, and drag and drop your data into that side panel. I will demonstrate during class.
86
+
87
+ 2. Also, create a new folder called `my_trained_model`. That is where we will temporarily store our trained model.
88
+
89
+ Load your data
90
+ * You can download the data I used here: UPLOAD LINK SOON.
91
+ """
92
+
93
+ directory = "/content/my_data/" # Replace with the path to your directory containing the files
94
+ model_output_path = "/content/my_trained_models/"
95
+ train_fraction=0.8
96
+ # Read documents from the directory
97
+ combined_text = read_documents_from_directory(directory)
98
+ combined_text = re.sub(r'\n+', '\n', combined_text).strip() # Remove excess newline characters
99
+
100
+ # Split the text into training and validation sets
101
+ split_index = int(train_fraction * len(combined_text))
102
+ train_text = combined_text[:split_index]
103
+ val_text = combined_text[split_index:]
104
+
105
+ # Save the training and validation data as text files
106
+ with open("train.txt", "w") as f:
107
+ f.write(train_text)
108
+ with open("val.txt", "w") as f:
109
+ f.write(val_text)
110
+
111
+ len(train_text)
112
+ print(train_text[:1000])
113
+
114
+ """The train_chatbot function uses the combined text data to train a GPT-2 model using the provided training arguments. The resulting trained model and tokenizer are then saved to a specified output directory."""
115
+
116
+ # Prepare the dataset
117
+ train_dataset = TextDataset(tokenizer=tokenizer, file_path="train.txt", block_size=128)
118
+ val_dataset = TextDataset(tokenizer=tokenizer, file_path="val.txt", block_size=128)
119
+ data_collator = DataCollatorForLanguageModeling(tokenizer=tokenizer, mlm=False)
120
+
121
+ # Set up the training arguments
122
+ training_args = TrainingArguments(
123
+ output_dir=model_output_path,
124
+ overwrite_output_dir=True,
125
+ per_device_train_batch_size=4,
126
+ per_device_eval_batch_size=4,
127
+ num_train_epochs=33,
128
+ save_steps=10_000,
129
+ save_total_limit=2,
130
+ logging_dir='./logs',
131
+ )
132
+
133
+ # Train the model
134
+ trainer = Trainer(
135
+ model=model,
136
+ args=training_args,
137
+ data_collator=data_collator,
138
+ train_dataset=train_dataset,
139
+ eval_dataset=val_dataset,
140
+ )
141
+
142
+ ## THIS TAKES 30 MINS FOR JUST 10 EPOCHS SO I AM NOT GOING TO DUE THAT DURING CLASS....
143
+ ## AND ~2HRS FOR 33 EPOCHS
144
+ trainer.train()
145
+
146
+ # Save the model
147
+ trainer.save_model(model_output_path)
148
+
149
+ # Save the tokenizer
150
+ tokenizer.save_pretrained(model_output_path)
151
+
152
+ print("SAVED MODELS LOCALLY YO!!!!!!")
153
+
154
+ directory = "/content/my_data/" # Replace with the path to your directory containing the files
155
+ model_output_path = "/content/my_trained_models/"
156
+
157
+ model = GPT2LMHeadModel.from_pretrained(model_output_path)
158
+ tokenizer = GPT2Tokenizer.from_pretrained(model_output_path)
159
+
160
+ # Test the chatbot
161
+ prompt = "Write a TV show script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole." # Replace with your desired prompt
162
+ # prompt = "What is bulk metallic glass?" # Replace with your desired prompt
163
+
164
+ response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=1000)
165
+ print("Generated response:", response)
166
+
167
+ ## PUSH THE MODELS TO YOUR HUGGING-FACE.
168
+
169
+ model.push_to_hub(repo_id='KingZack/future-futurama-maker')
170
+ tokenizer.push_to_hub('KingZack/future-futurama-maker')
171
+
172
+ """### check out the model you made in the offical hub.
173
+ --> https://huggingface.co/KingZack/future-futurama-maker
174
+
175
+ ## Now load it from the hub and test it out.
176
+ """
177
+
178
+ # Use a pipeline as a high-level helper
179
+ # from transformers import pipeline
180
+
181
+ # pipe = pipeline("text-generation", model="KingZack/future-futurama-maker")
182
+
183
+
184
+ # Load model directly
185
+ from transformers import AutoTokenizer, AutoModelForCausalLM
186
+
187
+ tokenizer = AutoTokenizer.from_pretrained("KingZack/future-futurama-maker")
188
+ model = AutoModelForCausalLM.from_pretrained("KingZack/future-futurama-maker")
189
+
190
+ # Test the chatbot
191
+ prompt = 'Write a script for the TV show Futurama about Fry getting stuck in a hole.'
192
+
193
+ response = generate_response(model, tokenizer, prompt, max_length=1000)
194
+ print("Generated response:", response)
195
+