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post

eb2dr9

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb2dr9/i_used_to_beat_my_meat_in_a_shack/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I used to beat my meat in a shack

post

eb2d4c

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb2d4c/my_brother_was_murdered_over_drugs/

self.confessions

2 weeks before Christmas my brother went riding around with his friends.He didn't come back for a few days but this was normal for him.We thought nothing of it until there was knock on the door at 3 a.m. 4 days later.My brother had obtained major gunshot wounds to his face and was dropped outside of the hospital left to die.After bawling my eyes out for a month I finally learned what had happened at the trial.That night he went with his friends not knowing that they were going to do a drug deal.They went to a church and were going to rob a kid ,until he pulled out a gun and was aiming at my brother's best friend.The shooter fired at him when all of a sudden my brother got in front of the bullet and took it to the face.The shooter and his friends ran while my brother's bestfriend put him in the car and dropped him in the snow in front of the hospital.An ambulance driver saw him and took him in.He died 24 hours later from choking on his own blood.

My brother was murdered over drugs

post

eb2cx5

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb2cx5/i_wish_my_grandmother_would_die/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I wish my grandmother would die

post

eb2c6n

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb2c6n/i_think_im_gonna_end_my_life_soon/

self.confessions

I don't know when or how, but I know I'm going to do it. I just can't take it anymore, I feel like I'm a burden to everyone, my parents probably hate me, judging by all the comments they make every time I do something, regardless if it's good or bad, I imagine they regret bringing me into this world. I feel like I have no future so ending my life is the only thing I can think of that would make sense to me. Perhaps I should go to a therapist, but I'm too broke and my parents don't listen to me when I tell them I have mental health problems, they go on a rant about how it's because I'm spending too much time on my cellphone or pc. The only therapy I cam afford is the one offered from school but even then, it didn't do anything to help me. I just want to end it all Edit : spelling mistakes

I think I'm gonna end my life soon

post

eb288l

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb288l/my_life_has_no_events_nor_do_i_do_anything_please/

self.confessions

Ok, so the thing is this: my average screentime is 9hrs and I‘m 15. I almost never leave the house, don’t do anything or try anything because of pure laziness and maybe a bit of depression, like a grain of salt.. I always feel bad about myself for being such a loser without a life and muscles that I sometimes considerer suicide.. but I live in Germany and really don’t want to use a knife or jump infront of a train, so no. Also I feel paranoid. I just got the AirPods Pro and whenever I use them in the bus I get scared that people might beat me up and steal them. I generally feel disgusted by people on the bus, and my friends aren’t real friends because I don’t do anything with them, they‘re just there so I’m not an awkwards loser standing alone in breaks... also I have bad grades despite having an IQ of 134 and this makes me feel sad again, because my average marks are usually C-D‘s... then I decide to do something, get out, learn, but my sheer adiction to my phone keeps me from achieving anything! I need help, but feel weak asking for it! So I ask you, help me!

My life has no events nor do I do anything, please help me :(

post

eb1u6k

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb1u6k/what_do_i_do/

self.confessions

So I been talking to this guy for about two months and I really like him and sometimes he acts like He likes me too and sometimes I feel like he’s just not that interested. I found his Twitter (he doesn’t know) and he sometimes retweets girl pictures and things that make me question is he really likes me. The other day I drove an hour to go see him before he went home from college... we had a good time at his apartment watched a movie and stuff. He was respectful and didn’t push me to do anything I didn’t wanna do. But idk I just have this feeling that he’s not that into me.. maybe he’s just dry or maybe he’s just not that interested and has feelings for someone else. Should I be direct and tell him how I feel or just keep going with the flow. Because I actually want a relationship with him and I need to know if he feels the same or I’m just wasting my time.

What do I do...

post

eb1kmm

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb1kmm/my_friends_sister_sister_almost_died/

self.confessions

My friend was watching random baby Yoda videos and he stood up when ha heard his sister fall down the stairs and hit her head she was screaming and his mom too her eyes were rolling back and my friend was crying the ambulance the police came and fire trucks but she's fine.

My friend's sister sister almost died

post

eb1ei8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb1ei8/trigger_warning_csa_how_do_i_unlearn_everything/

self.confessions

[M24] It wasn’t until this year that I started to realize that what happened wasn’t right. I’m scared that my views on sex are permanently damaged. When I was about 4 or 5 I was sexually assaulted by a boy who was a few years older than me. I carried around that guilt for so long, and it felt like sex was something dirty that had to be secret. When I was 10 my parents started a terrible divorce. The house was full of screaming. I never felt like I had a good relationship with my dad. We couldn’t seem to speak about things the way other families could. When I was 12 or 13 I discovered online chat rooms. I started speaking to older men who were really interested in me. Before long they would ask me to strip and perform sexual acts for them on camera, and I did. I knew that what was happening was dirty but I felt wanted and loved in a way that I never had before. They would tell me the dirty things that they wanted to do to me. It then became something that I would keep doing because it made me feel validated. I continued sharing nude videos and photos of myself with random men online for many years. I would feel good any time they said something good about my body. Then over the past year or 2 I have found myself fantasizing about the abuse that happened when I was younger. Wishing that I could get that attention again. Now that I’m conscious of these thoughts I’m realizing something is wrong. For so long I thought that what was happening was ok but it really wasn’t. I am starting therapy but I’m scared that because this happened for so long that I somehow think it’s normal. Has anyone experienced these conflicting feelings about their abuse?

Trigger warning: CSA. How do I unlearn everything?

post

eb1bo4

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb1bo4/taking_viagara_three_times_has_changed_my_life/

self.confessions

I [20M] started having ED problems due to psychological reasons about 2 years ago. I'd lose my boner when switching positions. Sometimes I'd just lose feeling in it and then it'd go limp. This only added to my insecurities and it was messing up my sex life. I enjoy sex, but I ended up rejecting multiple opportunities just because I was worried that'd I'd end up disappointing and being embarrassed. I also used to masturbate daily which wasn't helping. One day when I was about to meet a new partner, I decided to give viagara a shot. I'd recently seen an article about it not being just for old people anymore. So I read up a bit more on it and took a 50mg about an hour before we were supposed to meet. There was always a worry that I'd have a constant boner but that's not the case at all. It only kicks in when you're sexually stimulated. So there we were in the room and I had the hardest boner I'd had in years. We ended up going multiple rounds that night which was completely new for me. Just seeing that my penis was capable of being in that state helped tremendously because after night, my morning wood was stronger than ever and it felt great. Also noteworthy that I started masturbating maybe once a week instead of daily. I used viagara on two more occasions after that. But one day, about a week ago, I was hanging out with the girl and went to the bathroom to prepare for later by popping a pill, but I felt a boner in my pants just from the thought of her and i decided that I want to try without the viagara. And it worked. Multiple times that night i was able to maintain my boner. If at any point i felt like it was going soft, I just focused on her in front of me and i was rock hard again. TL;DR : using viagara 3 times helped me bring back my confidence and not have to use it anymore. [NSFW]

Taking viagara three times has changed my life.

post

eb1bbe

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb1bbe/my_wife_is_cheating_on_me_and_i_dont_know_what_to/

self.confessions

If this is more a post for r/relationship_advice, let me know, I'll change it, but really i gotta get this off my chest. Some back story: My wife and i got together 7 years ago. Her son was three, and her baby daddy is a drunken piece of shit who hasn't seen his son since we got together. I am his dad at this point. I was 19, she was 24, and contradictory to normal 19 year olds, I stepped up, and filled the roll for them. For a couple years, everything was fine. Then i found out she was cheating on me with my best friend, right before i was gonna propose. A week later she tried killing herself because i left, and she explained to me that she did it because she had miscarried our baby that she didn't have the chance to tell me about. I took her back, and we were happy for a few more years. Then she got pregnant, and gave birth to our second son. Since then (which was three years ago), shes worked firsts, and I've worked seconds. This limited our time together, and we've lost the ability to communicate. We became friends, not partners, and yet a year ago, we still got married. A couple months back, we had a huge fight, and when things calmed down, we realized we had gotten too comfortable with our lives the way they were, and that this all may be over. We decided to try and change things, to take them back to the way they could be, but nothing changed. Now normally, I don't go through phones. I think its a complete breach of privacy, and I hate it when females do it to me. However, things have changed the last couple weeks. She changed the password on her phone, her tablet has been missing when shes at work and I'm home, and she will turn them away from me when shes using them around me. So i had to find out, and i was right. She is cheating on me with my friend again. Now our anniversary is on the 22nd, and christmas is obviously right around the corner as well. So i don't want to ruin either of those things, but i don't know how to deal with any of it until then. I still love her, shes everything to me, despite everything. My whole life is falling apart around me, i cant get any money saved, im severely under appreciated at work, my car is falling apart, and now I'm about to need to get a divorce. I've been suicidal before, but nothing will ever come out of it. I cant do that to my boys. They're everything to me, and at this point, they're my real best friends. However, if i were to die in an accident or something, id be okay with it too. TL;DR: My wife is cheating on me, i love her, i cant imagine how to do this without her, and im depressed and scared, and I don't know what to do. I really just needed to get this out, i have no one to talk to about it.

My wife is cheating on me and I don't know what to do.

post

eb17m0

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb17m0/im_sorry/

self.confessions

i don't know if they have a reddit account or browses around this subreddit but i just really want to let this feeling out. i've thought back to my past actions and i have realized i had been such a dick to my ex-friends. i know this won't change a thing because i already cut them out of my life, but i still selfishly want things to go back the way we used to be. to be a high school student again; getting away with rule-breaking and running around in the fields. to be able to talk to them again and crack jokes. but no. i already cut them out of my life and i have to face the consequences of my actions. i was and am still such an asshole it hurts. i don't know why i can't cope and understand my emotions like other people. why can't i just speak up and be honest about how i feel. why can't i just be normal. why do i have to be such a freaking idiot who fucks everything up. imagine leaving the people who helped you drop your suicidal tendencies. imagine shutting them out completely just because you can't fucking cope with the feeling of getting hurt. writing this post hurts me still. every letter i type makes my heart drop to my stomach and i feel the tears coming. i am such a fuck up. my dad was right. i am a selfish bitch. i am stupid — basically the devil's child. why couldn't i have just killed myself when i was 12. i don't know what to do and i just want to fucking cry. just... stop it all. because nothing i do is right. everyone thinks i can do it but i can't. i can't ever succeed. nothing i do is right and i am such a fucking failure. who was i kidding when i entered college. i can't even pass my major. why am i like this. just

i'm sorry

post

eb16zs

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb16zs/you_cannot_claim_to_have_ptsd_of_you_have_not/

self.confessions

[removed]

You cannot claim to have PTSD of you have not been in combat

post

eb163d

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb163d/why_do_christians_preach_all_the_time_and_try_to/

self.confessions

[deleted]

Why do Christians preach all the time, and try to make you to believe in their religion and convert you?

post

eb0zq8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0zq8/a_very_shtty_end_to_the_relationship_with_the/

self.confessions

On mobile sorry for spelling and grammar errors So over this past weekend I attended an anime convention, my ex also attended and this is THE ex. The one I'm pretty sure I still love. We talked casually from time to time, sent each other memes and kept streaks on snapchat, her birthday was just a little while ago and I got her a gift. She is here at the convention with her con friends and her new boyfriend. Pretty much I just wanted to give her her gift and disappear if that's what she wanted. Whenever I messaged her she would say she was busy, or some group drama was happening and couldn't. I said "ok" to myself and would ask again hours later, over the course of the con, I think I text her like......5 times tops over 48 hours to try to give her the gift. On the fifth try I get a reply from her account but that starts with "hey this is "friend that you know and we were friends" and proceed to verbally assault me for "not getting the hint" and they dont want to see me and to just fuck off. This broke me. And I gave them what she wanted. I unfriended my ex on snapchat, and went on other platforms to do the same, only to find that she already had blocked me. Now you guys are probably wondering "what did you do for that to happen? No way that came out of absolutely no where".......and you are right. Essentially, my EX's friend all love her new boyfriend. They never had a problem with me. But they like him better and think he is a better fit for her. Here is where the story gets dark. About 8 months ago my mother committed suicide. I lived with her and grew up with only her. Everyone reached out to me to make sure I was ok. And so did my ex. At the time I was dating someone else which my friends did not like due to the fact that she took advantage of me and I did not see it. My ex noticed this and agreed with my friends. My ex and I had not communicated for a while, and apparently my father had called her, told her what happened, and asked her to check up on me. We started texting again and basically vented to each other about our partners........I think you can see where this is going. My ex and my friends get me to see that my gf at the time was taking advantage of me in my stress and "idgaf" attitude after my mother passed. And I break up with her.........two nights later my ex(the MAIN ex in the story,who had her boyfriend already) came over for the night..................................... two weeks later it happened again. She tells jer bf a version of the story in which we kissed in a fit of emotion and that's it. But as you guys can guess, more had indeed happened. The way that this relates to the con story is due to the fact that my Ex's con friends know what happened. I think they see me as a threat to my ex's new relationship. They probably dont want to see new boyfriend go away or hurt, And as a result I have to go away. Even if it means hurting me. Too long didnt read version: I tried to give my ex a birthday gift, get told to fuck off by her friends bc she cheated on her new boyfriend with me. I know I have my own fault in this, but I had no Ill-intent. I wanted to give her a birthday gift. And that's it....I think I'm at a really low point rn bc I tried to be nice. And I got emotionally punched in the face, her friends used to be my friends. I thought they liked me.

A very sh*tty end to the relationship with the person I still love.

post

eb0y37

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0y37/i_dont_think_i_want_kids_and_im_scared_of_how/

self.confessions

My bf and I have spoken about this a few times and we haven't exactly gone "we're not having kids ever" but we both aren't fully sold on the idea and I'm pretty sure we would have a great child free life. I personally do not want to go through pregnancy and childbirth. And I refuse to be a stay at home mother. My sister did it from the age of 16 and my sis in law from the age of 18. In my eyes they've ruined their lives and I could never give up my career and education for that. It's not a life I think I want but my family is so child centred that they would never accept it or understand my reasons. I've been called selfish for not wanting kids by people. I like kids and I love babysitting my niece's and nephew, but I don't think I could do it full time. But I'm scared that it's something I'll regret when I'm old.

I don't think I want kids and I'm scared of how everyone would react

post

eb0pre

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0pre/i_thought_about_becoming_a_prison_guard_for/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I thought about becoming a prison guard for unhealthy reasons

post

eb0pj2

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0pj2/i_hate_my_5_year_old_nephew/

self.confessions

My 5 year old nephew is an extreme asshole. I hate him. I don’t want to be near him and I don’t want to look at him. I can’t even pretend to like him anymore. He screams and yells nonstop, always turns the IPAD or tv as loud as it goes, kicks, hits, punches, and generally beats the fuck out of anyone, and consistently tells you how much he hates you and calls you various vulgar names. The catch? I live with him. I also live with my sister who refuses to even TRY to fix this. She just screams at him for everything. I’m heavily considering calling cps with hopes that they will do ANYTHING To fix this bastard. I don’t even like hearing him in the next room because he’s just so awful that I can’t stand it. I may sound like an awful person but I don’t care. When you’re an adult who is abused to the point of not wanting to live by a 5 year old, you stop caring. He has sucked all joy out of my life. I cannot do anything without him making me miserable. I don’t even know why to do. Moving out isn’t an option because I suffer from various disorders where living alone is not feasible. And I just feel like the only way to get away from him is to kill myself. Because he’s just so violent and abusive towards me that I don’t know what to do. Do the cops take calls about children this age seriously? Would cps even care? Something has to happen.

I hate my 5 year old nephew.

post

eb0lgm

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0lgm/my_cousin/

self.confessions

I really need to figure out how to get my cousin in bed with me she is staying here for holidays and sleeping on couch I need ideas

My cousin

post

eb0f6w

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb0f6w/i_think_i_just_learned_how_to_properly_use_a/

self.confessions

I was always feeling weird about using a knife and fork, passing them back and forth between hands and not really enjoying the process. Seemed more of a hindrance than a set of tools. Then last night I was watching a show and an actor was holding them and it just clicked with me. I tried it this morning and lo and behold, I now know at the tender age of 29 how to properly eat with cutlery.

I think I just learned how to properly use a knife and fork. I’m almost 30.

post

eb03y0

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb03y0/should_i_feel_bad_about_myself/

self.confessions

[deleted]

Should I feel bad about myself

post

eb03w7

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eb03w7/they_have_trampled_on_our_constitution_and_they/

self.confessions

[deleted]

They have trampled on our Constitution, and they have done irreparable harm to our Republic.

post

eazusc

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazusc/as_a_cop_i_let_white_women_off_tickets_easily_if/

self.confessions

[removed]

As a cop I let white women off tickets easily if they show me their tits, but black males, I fuck them up with the long veiny dick of the law lol.

post

eazpiw

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazpiw/a_really_really_long_hug/

self.confessions

[deleted]

A really really long hug

post

eazofm

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazofm/the_radical_left_is_trying_to_destroy_america/

self.confessions

[deleted]

The radical left is trying to destroy America

post

eazo7p

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazo7p/my_blog_detailed_stories_of_my_crazy_27_yo_life_i/

self.confessions

Like a memoir or some shit. I'm the kind of woman who thinks people are lying when they tell me I'm pretty. So I did ugly things and also liked to tell people about it. If the shit I got myself into didnt kill me I had a plan to take myself out at 33. No one knew nor did anyone care. I was the fun friend with drugs and the crazy chick you date for a few weeks. That feels like forever ago. Dont hate myself like that anymore. Stopped telling the public all my business. Got a family going on now. Life can be good, merry Christmas.

My blog detailed stories of my crazy 27 y/o life I fully intended on snuffing it at 33.

post

eaznoz

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaznoz/my_husband_was_murdered/

self.confessions

[deleted]

My husband was murdered.

post

eazkoc

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazkoc/i_have_a_feet_fetish/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I have a feet fetish.

post

eazgrh

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazgrh/im_insecure_about_my_relationship/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I'm insecure about my relationship

post

eazb9b

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazb9b/this_happened_when_i_was_in_first_grade/

self.confessions

Suppose my name is A and my friend's name is B. I entered my classroom in the morning and went for my usual seat.Then I saw some writing on it. ''A is Satan and I am B'' (his name rhymes with Satan) I got pretty angry.Then I thought about it for a second and found a way to counter him. I rubbed off the names and decide to rewrite the thing.I wrote, "B is Satan I am A". Then he came, looked at it and got angry.Sweet revenge.But I feel bad about it sometimes.Haven't seen him in like 10 years.

This happened when I was in first grade.

post

eazb5l

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eazb5l/i_beat_the_crap_out_of_an_elderly_cab_driver/

self.confessions

A couple of years ago, when I was 24, while I was in Egypt I got into a cab home. The driver was on the higher end of 40. I was looking at my phone when he swirled, taking a sharp left and then drove straight again. I thought there was a pothole or something so I ignored it. A minute later, same thing. Now I started paying attention. I looked at the road and apperently he was trying to hit the street cats. He swirled again and this time the car made a little jum, I heard a screaching noise and the cab driver started laughing. I told him to stop for a minute, very calmly got out and looked back. Yes, there it was, a half squished dying cat. I went back to the cab, this time to the drivers side. I didn't say a word. Just opened the door, pulled out the driver and proceeded to beat him like a maniac. He was all ready bleeding everywhere when finally some pedestrians pulled me of him. I managed to get a final kick out before I got dragged away. Since I speak the language I was able to tell them what happened and they told me to get away fast before the police came. To this day I don't regret what I did, but I never told anyone Edit: by elderly I mean oldish... I thought that's the same thing. English is not my first language 😅

I beat the crap out of an elderly cab driver

post

eaz9n1

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaz9n1/i_sometimes_make_random_star_wars_noises_without/

self.confessions

This includes lightsabers, Vader’s breathing, blaster shots and Yoda’s voice. I’m an average mid thirties family man with a good job.....I think I’m normal, but it’s hard to stop doing these sound effects.

I sometimes make random Star Wars noises without thinking ...

post

eaz99f

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaz99f/i_like_to_watch_my_fiancée_get_fucked_by_well/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I like to watch my fiancée get fucked by well endowed guys

post

eaz7c1

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaz7c1/im_sad_juice_died/

self.confessions

m actually really sad that juicewrld died because I used to listen to his songs when I felt really low and used to cut myself and now he’s gone and I feel a connection to his music and if ski mask dies I cba

I’m sad juice died

post

eayx74

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayx74/seeing_people_women_more_than_men_cry_makes_me/

self.confessions

im male, 17, high functioning autism. i can feel empathy althou it apears to be not as intese as the people around me. for some reason when ever i see people cry i feel whole, complete. i feel like everything just makes sense and im at ease and peace. i used to watch "standard" porn but now if the women isnt visibly in pain/discomfort it doesnt feel good enough. i scroll thru sub reddits such as r /rape and r /rapekink and i get hard while reading some of the post. i dont know why im like this as i've never had anything trumatic or extreme happen to me.

seeing people (women more than men) cry makes me feel whole

post

eaytb9

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaytb9/yall_i_just_took_a_nasty_ass_shit_at_work/

self.confessions

The kind where you look at poop on the wall and wonder how the fuck did they miss and hit that far. Truth be told I don't know what the fuck happened but it was everywhere, tried to clean it up as much as possible. Women's bathroom ofc

Yall, I just took a nasty ass shit at work

post

eaysy9

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaysy9/my_ex_is_so_hot_that_i_used_a_video_of_me_fucking/

self.confessions

[deleted]

My ex is so hot that I used a video of me fucking her to get the girl of my dreams - she was engaged and I was in a relationship.

post

eayqof

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayqof/so_glad_i_can_get_this_off_my_chest/

self.confessions

[deleted]

So glad I can get this off my chest

post

eayqee

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayqee/for_christmas_i_wahnt_too_taste_pokimanes_holes/

self.confessions

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayqee/for_christmas_i_wahnt_too_taste_pokimanes_holes/

for Christmas i wahnt too taste pokimanes holes .

post

eaypxr

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaypxr/i_dont_care_about_trees_going_away_heres_why/

self.confessions

so theres is 3 trillion trees,divide that by 19,000,000 for the trees cut down a day, you get 157894.736842 days divided by again by 365, you get 432.58832 years. plenty for generations at our rate

I don't care about trees going away. heres why

post

eayon8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayon8/these_m0ds_suck/

self.confessions

Yes it's ironic that this post is hypocritical but bare with me. Shit posting to ask for your upvote in this bullshittery of "confession" posts that are plaguing this sub reddit, and the m0ds are doing nothing noticeable about it. Don't misunderstand, these beautiful and wholesome secrets are great and restore faith in humanity but don't belong to this channel. ~Someone bored and annoyed

These m0ds suck.

post

eaymlq

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaymlq/ive_been_to_over_50_sex_workers_before_i_was_25/

self.confessions

I started to go to a sex worker when i was abroad, studying for university, i was simply bored and wanted to see what it was like. I spent the next few days at the brothel with one woman, paying her each time. Then when i moved back i started looking at places that were more local to me, sex workers are illegal where I'm from, there wasn't any nice properly advertised brothels. But i did find websites where you can meet them and have sex in various locations such as hotels or in your car etc. I'm trying to stop doing it, I've been in a relationship within this time and still went to see a sex worker when i was with them; I'm not anymore the relationship didn't work out, but she doesn't know i saw a sex worker. This is the longest I've been without one now, 2 months, and I'm still tempted to go again. I'm not a bad looking guy, i go on dates but i love the idea of just sex with no commitment sometimes.

I've been to over 50 sex workers before i was 25

post

eaylo4

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaylo4/when_ojama_diied_my_soul_die/

self.confessions

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaylo4/when_ojama_diied_my_soul_die/

wHen ojama diied my soul die😭😭😭😭

post

eayldt

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayldt/where_are_the_mods/

self.confessions

[removed]

Where are the mods??

post

eayhf9

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayhf9/im_an_ugly_gay_man_and_the_way_i_look_made_me/

self.confessions

I've always been ugly. I am not Quasimodo-looking or something like that, but the way I look is just kinda off. Big forehead that gets bigger every year because of my receding hairline, soft almost feminine facial features and one lazy eye. I just don't look "right". I never saw myself as ugly but other people made me understand how awful looking I must be. As a gay man I encountered so much abuse because of my looks. Gay men calling me names, pranking me, giving me disgusted looks in gay bars... I feel out of place when I'm there because gay men always manage to give me the feeling that I just don't belong. It sucks to be in a room full of people and all of them make you feel invisible. Bartenders in gay bars not serving you because of the way you look, pretending you are invisible, straight up ignoring you. I have great friends who are straight but no gay friends because even when I'm just trying to befriend gay people, they ignore me because of my looks. I know that because a lot of them told me it's because of that. They don't want friends who look like that. The worst part is that when I tell other people what I experience, nobody believes me. Because according to shows like Queer Eye, gays are so nice, friendly and warm and only want the best for you, when in fact they are the most vicious and mean group of people I have ever encountered. Because of my looks I almost had no sex in my entire life. And when I had I usually had sex with gay men who were much older than me... grandpa age. They use you and want to have sex with you because the only group more ignored within gay community than ugly people are old gay men. I feel bad because I don't really want to have sex with older men. I am looking for a relationship and somebody to grow old with, but that's something I can't do with men who are much older than me. Besides that most of them only craved me because of my age, not for who I am. I have to keep my feelings towards other gay men a secret because as soon as I speak up or share me feelings with other people I'm being called a homophobe, even though I'm gay. Or even worse - I have internalized homophobia, which to me is just funny as fuck, because if so, other gay men made me develop this feeling. And why would I want to be part of a community that constantly makes me feel out of place and not welcomed.

I'm an ugly gay man and the way I look made me hate the LGBT community

post

eaydnw

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaydnw/есть_у_меня_друг/

self.confessions

[removed]

Есть у меня друг

post

eayag0

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eayag0/watched_a_horror_movie_by_myself/

self.confessions

When i found out my girlfriend(Now ex) was cheating on me i was so numb by how sad and betrayed i felt i watched a horror movie in my bed in the dark in the middle of the night all by myself

Watched a horror movie by myself

post

eay85n

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eay85n/i_let_a_kid_take_the_fall_for_my_fart/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I let a kid take the fall for my fart

post

eay3i0

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eay3i0/i_was_a_kid_karen/

self.confessions

When I was a kid, when I was bored I used to write fake letters of complaint to different sweet companies, to get free sweets. It was remarkable how well it worked. I did it over about 4 years from age 8-12. I received hundreds of pounds of products over that time. My mother was fine with it as long as I only wrote to big corporations and not small businesses. She said it helped improve my creative writing skills. Ha.

I was a kid Karen.

post

eaxzxf

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxzxf/sometimes_i_feel_guilty_about_being_sexually/

self.confessions

This is a letter I wrote to my abuser. TW because it goes into detail. The reason I feel guilty about it is because I feel like I could've stopped it and I shouldn't have done some of the things that I did (which are referred to in the letter). Also, sometimes I feel like it wasn't abuse because of how close we were in age. After writing this, I feel so much better. Here it is. \------------------------- Dear Matthew\*, You will probably never see this and to be honest, I don't care. I'm writing this for me, not you. I couldn't care less about you if I tried. I'm sure you think you did nothing wrong. Or maybe you know, but you're just so cocky you don't care. This is my way of calling you out, because I don't know your last name or what you're doing now, and this is all that remains of you - your first name. If I knew your last name, I'd have reported you years ago. You should feel damn lucky I can't remember. I was eight or nine when it started. So young that I don't even recall the exact age. And you were eleven. See, you were smart. You guessed, correctly, that people (namely, I) wouldn't take what was going on as seriously because we were both kids. And surely abuse can't happen between kids, right? You were living in the house my parents were renting out. We were neighbours. Your mother would send you and your brother to my house to play with me and my siblings. One time when we were all in the same room, you said you thought that I looked pretty. Or something along those lines. I asked you, "do you have a crush on me?" I remember this like it was yesterday. You were sitting on my chair by my desk, right next to the window, spinning a little. You said, "kinda." It was enough to pique my attention. I told you exactly what I thought. "Wow...no one's ever really told me that before." I didn't think I was pretty, and I definitely hadn't received any attention from the boys at my school. You hooked onto that sentence. I don't remember exactly what you said next but you encouraged my admiration. One day, you and your brother came over to my house. You told him and my siblings that the older kids (us) wanted to hang out together in my room, and that they could go and play in my sibling's room. I was happy because I was one of the big kids in this situation. Even your brother didn't get to come in the same room as us! I must have been special. That's what I was thinking. You closed the door. It started slowly. On the first day, you told me you wanted to play mums and dads. I said sure, because I'd played it with my friends at school. I never really saw the point of the game but I didn't mind. You said, "you be the mum, I'll be the dad." Then you climbed to the top of your bunk bed and said, "mums and dads sleep next to each other. Climb up." I did it. I climbed up and lay next to you. Why did I do it? I thought it was fine, in all honesty - we were just lying next to each other, nothing untoward about that, at least in my eyes. Sometimes, you would get your brother and my sister to pretend to be our children, and include them in the game too. This first day, you told me it was our secret. I was kind of excited that you had entrusted me with a secret. I said I wouldn't tell anyone. "You promise?" you asked. "Yes," I said. The second time, we were playing in your backyard. You asked me, "do you know what humping is?" I said no. So the next time you came over to my house, you took me to my room (alone, again) and you went ahead and decided to show me. I don't think I moved at all during it. You kept pushing yourself up against me. We were standing up and you had your hands around my waist to keep me in the same spot. I knew it was wrong and I knew I didn't like it. Why didn't I ask you to stop? The third time, we sat under the doorway to my room whilst your brother and my siblings were busy playing in the other room. You said you would teach me to kiss. I was apprehensive but said okay. I thought you meant kiss as in a peck on the lips. But you said, "tilt your head to the right and open your mouth. Then, you have to swirl your tongue around with mine." I remember thinking that sounded disgusting, but I did it anyway. You took my first kiss at the age of eight or nine. Why didn't I just tell you I didn't want to do it? The fourth time, we were in my room, door closed, and you said you wanted to see my boobs. This time was a very firm no. I told you, straight up, "no." There was a line and I knew that of everything we had done, if nothing else, this definitely crossed it. Then you started doing what you did every time I said I didn't want to do something. You said, "come on, please. Please? Come on. It's fine." And you would keep badgering me until I said yes. And so I lifted my shirt up. You gasped a little when you saw what you wanted to see. By the way - I was a little kid. I wasn't even in my double-digits stage yet so there was nothing really there at all. You lifted your hand and tried to touch my bare chest but I pulled my shirt down before you could. The fifth time, you were humping me and told me to take my clothes off. I said I didn't want to. You started the begging again. "Please? Come on, it'll be fine. Please?" And this is where my memory is blurry. I don't remember whether I took my clothes off or not. But I have faint memories which make me believe that you convinced me to take off my top and my pants. Why can't I remember? Every time you came over to my house you would do these things to me. The thing I remember you doing the most was the humping. You would always get me alone in your room and push yourself on me. As I write this, some memories are coming back. I think one time you told me to lay down in the bottom bunk and you got on top of me and started humping me. I always said no or at least showed some sort of apprehension. You were eleven, not three. You knew what you were doing. I don't know any eleven year old that would tell me doing what you did is an acceptable thing to do. Your mother was lovely. And I remember thinking that's what was so sad - that your mother was lovely, and so was your little brother. And your dad wasn't in the picture but the family you had was beautiful. And I loved your mother. She was so kind to me. I don't completely remember her face anymore but I remember her kindness. Your family moved out about six months after they moved in. Before you all left, your mother came over to tell us what school you would be moving to. I remember the feeling of my stomach dropping. It was like I had just reached the peak of a massive drop on a rollercoaster. The name of the school was the school right next to the school I would be attending in a couple of years. And I thought there was no escape from you. Thankfully for me, I only ever saw you once more after you moved away. Our schools (a brother and sister school that often held joint events) were planning yet another event together. We were in a crowd but I spotted your face. There was a new mole on your left cheek that hadn't been there when you were living next door to me. We made eye contact. And what did you do? You smirked. You had the *audacity* to smirk at me. I remember the feeling of intense rage I felt at the time, and I glared back as hard as I could. And then as quickly as I had spotted you, you disappeared back into the crowd. Since then, I haven't seen you for at least five years. I remember your face. I remember your brother's face. And I have looked for you, but I haven't found you. If I do find you, I don't know what I'll do yet. I don't have much in the way of evidence. It's probably too late to report you now anyway. But I hope you know what you did caused a lot of damage. I've had really nice guys show interest in me and I have to say no because I'm worried they're going to do something I don't want them to do. I feel like you gave me a pair of glasses and they're stuck permanently to my head, and these glasses are blurry and I can't tell the good guys from the bad. I'm paranoid whenever I see a guy, and even more paranoid when he's nice to me, because I don't know whether he's being nice just to be nice, or being nice for an ulterior motive. I'm scared that guys are trying to be my friends just as a stepping stone to becoming something more, which in my eyes is nefarious. I just can't trust any man. It's not just that. I told my parents what you did, about a year after you moved away. Yes, I broke our promise. The promise you made me make to not tell anyone about what you were doing. I came home from school one day and just broke down crying. I had told a friend in school earlier that day about what you did, and she told me I should tell my parents - and that whole day, the guilt had been eating me up inside. So I burst into tears. My mum came to pick me up and was so worried. She asked me what was wrong. All I could muster up the courage to say between sobs was, "Do you remember when that family lived in our other house? Matthew would try to kiss me." When I got to the car, one of my siblings asked why I was crying. My mother just said that something had happened at school. I sat crying in the car until we got home and my parents called me into their bedroom. They asked me what happened. I could tell by their faces that they were angry. Not angry at you - they were angry at me. But it was a quiet anger. They didn't yell, but their faces spoke loud enough. So I said, "he humped me." My parents grew up in a very conservative culture. They asked me, "what is humping?" And so, at the age of about nine or ten, I had to stand in front of my parents and explain what humping was. I said, "It's like hugging, but you put your arms down by your side, and you move back and forth." I did not speak of the french kissing, you looking at my boobs, or anything else. Especially not the looking at my boobs part. I thought that was my fault, because I was the one who had lifted my shirt, and I felt that I was complicit in this, and so I didn't want my parents to know. I felt I was as much a perpetrator as you. They sent me back to my room, and never mentioned you again. I know they still blame me for not telling them earlier. But what could I have said? The first time they found out I had a crush on a guy (when I was about seven), they slapped me in front of my entire family and humiliated me by reading poems I wrote about him (that they had found while snooping through my room). So I sure as hell wasn't going to tell my parents about you, Matthew. I started counselling a few days ago. I WILL get over what you did to me. It wasn't okay and I never saw it as abuse until recently because we were both kids. I have repressed this for over ten years and I will repress it no longer. I hope you feel the same pain I feel now, knowing the truth. I hope you regret it all the time. But most of all, I hope you never do this (and have never done this), or worse, to anyone. I know a lot of people who are victims to these sorts of things say that they forgive them. It may just be early days, but - I don't forgive you. Not now. Maybe not ever. I don't know whether I have to forgive to heal. Maybe I'll forgive you of my own accord one day. But right now, I hate you. I hate you with every fibre of my being. I don't care that you're older than me or taller than me or stronger than me. I want to punch you so bad. And I know I shouldn't say that but it's what I feel. I want you to feel pain. So, Matthew - whether you read this or not, writing this has been a big help to me. The friends I've told about what you did to me have been so much more supportive than what I could ever have asked for. One even had a similar experience as a child, too, that I didn't know about until recently. And my heart aches for him, as it does when I think about what happened to me. You may have been eleven, but you knew what you were doing. \*Matthew is his real name. I don't think he deserves to hide behind a pseudonym.

Sometimes, I feel guilty about being sexually abused as a child.

post

eaxvmd

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxvmd/i_always_imagine_the_people_i_know_having_sex_in/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I always imagine the people I know having sex in animalistic. Everyone. All the time.

post

eaxruj

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxruj/i_hate_being_female/

self.confessions

I hate being a female attracted to other females. Women want men, women want muscles who can protect them, women want real dick, women want someone who can give them kids, women want someone who isn't submissive. That is not something i can ever provide. I fucking hate being a woman, i fucking hate myself.

I hate being female

post

eaxri1

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxri1/i_accidentally_killed_my_lil_sibling_before_he/

self.confessions

Back when my mother was prego with my lil brother or sister it was 3 months old so we didnt know what it was my mothers stomach was big and I was playing football like a normal kid and I accidentally charged into my mother her vag bled and bled and we rushed her to the hospital.the doctor days the baby got pushed too far and he died so they extracted the fetus and it was pretty big and the head where the frontal lobe was crushed my mom was sad but told me it was an accident and that she shouldn't have been that far into the field I feel like a monster.. TL:DR-Killed my lil sibling by playing football

I Accidentally Killed My Lil sibling Before He Was Born

post

eaxi8c

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxi8c/im_attracted_to_older_men_and_i_dont_know_why/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I’m attracted to older men and I don’t know why

post

eaxgat

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxgat/i_let_myself_be_manipulated_and_used/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I let myself be manipulated and used.

post

eaxfix

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxfix/i_killed_a_mouse/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I killed a mouse

post

eaxblk

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaxblk/handing_out_a_strangers_wallet_to_a_fishylooking/

self.confessions

Before hand I’d like to apologize for my broken ass English My mental age is like 3 so I am still learning English and getting my shit together And also this is like what my 3rd proper post so don’t be THAT guy and flame me in the comments plz :/ Now this was a LOOOONNNGG time ago per say 5~ years ago? And I was young I mean YOUNG, I was a utter airhead at that time and my ass thought it would be good to give a credit card strapped to a decently new phone to a janitor. Now he had initial reaction but, not even a single word came out of his mouth he just straight up walked away phone-in-hand progressively faster and I left feeling proud I had done the right thing. It was only till recently I recovered that memory and I was like w҉a҉i҉t҉ a҉ m҉i҉n҉u҉t҉e҉ and began having doubts I “did the right thing”. It was one of 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕖 memories that come back to haunt you when your tryina sleep. I am well aware that he could of actually hand it in to the lost and found or sent a report i donno? But his behaviour combined with the most untrustworthy face I had ever seen probably meant he stole it.

handing out a stranger’s wallet to a fishy-looking janitor

post

eax90t

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eax90t/this_recliner_to_myself_with_thick_blankets_might/

self.confessions

[deleted]

This recliner to myself with thick blankets might be the comfiest sleep I'm gonna have in weeks.

post

eawsua

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawsua/i_fucking_hate_netflix_so_much/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I fucking hate Netflix so much

post

eawof4

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawof4/not_a_confession_where_are_the_mods/

self.confessions

[removed]

[Not a confession] where are the mods?

post

eawn4k

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawn4k/is_it_weird_that_margot_robbie_makes_my_weiner/

self.confessions

Smol pp + Margot Robbie = Big pp

Is it weird that Margot Robbie makes my weiner hard? Have you guys ever experienced anything like this? I'm scared guys

post

eawkrr

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawkrr/i_feel_like_faking_my_mental_state_to_get_sympathy/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I feel like faking my mental state to get sympathy

post

eawh22

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawh22/before_i_can_sleep_tonight/

self.confessions

I cannot sleep... I was raised my a mother who worked extremely hard but I was never enough to gain her interest. She is what I understand now to be borderline and narcissistic. For her to work for the life she gave me I struggle to fault her however I struggle now with self esteem, self worth and relationships in general. I have narcissistic tendancies and am hyper aware and scared I can repeat abusive patterns. It makes life a little hard to move. Like I am frozen inside. On my birthday today I found out I am pregnant. I have no support, no job, no real ambition. My partner was a fluke Tinder date. I litterally was on Timder for two hours looking for my first no nonsense make out session. The guy that showed up piqued my interest or fulfilled my needs for three months before we got pregnant. He is so excited that he will be a father. He has not met my family, friends. I am in hiding. I guess I am scared. But I feel nothing most of the time.... So, there internet. There is a little bit on whats going on with me tonight.

Before I can sleep tonight

post

eawfsq

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawfsq/im_not_sure_if_i_like_this_girl_or_im_just/

self.confessions

So in school there’s this amazing girl I always hug her and she gives me the brightest smile She’s absolutely amazing and I think I’ve convinced myself that I like her although I don’t get that heart feeling when ya like someone and I recently got out of a toxic relationship but We still ended up doing dirty things together during class I feel like I’ve forced my self to like the (hug) girl just because I needed motivation to do anything I needed a reason to do something or to improve myself so I feel like I’ve used her as something to work towards to I’m kind of happy that she started to stop talking to me due to stress of school or maybe her bf I don’t really know honestly but I’ve really lost motivation to stay up I’ve been feeling tired most of the time and find myself making a smile even though in the back of my head is just blank not knowing what they said or what happened previously I’m not depressed I just feel lost without purpose I’ve been caring alot more on my looks as well I used to not care what people think and just have them accept my personality but I’ve just been looking at myself in the mirror not content with myself I just don’t know what to do but when I see (hug) girl I just feel like I should win her heart without me actually liking her

I’m not sure If I like this girl or I’m just telling myself that

post

eawct8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eawct8/i_have_a_terrible_habit_of_messaging_fuck_off_to/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I have a terrible habit of messaging ‘fuck off’ to people.

post

eaw9j4

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaw9j4/lowkey_wanna_fuck_my_cousins/

self.confessions

Well their not blood related but I’ve known them since I was a toddler but They’ve grown up to be such beauty’s honestly every Saturday we meet for a party and they hang in my room usually with everyone outside my room I always think of doing something inappropriate to them but I can’t bring myself to do it I don’t wanna hurt them or cause them harm I love them and I don’t wanna give them a traumatic experience I want them to enjoy it mutually but at the end of the party I always don’t end up doing anything bad to them and just wait and think of something else I would do to them so I’m just stuck in this loop

Lowkey wanna fuck my cousins

post

eaw5iw

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaw5iw/i_hate_playing_betrayel_legacy/

self.confessions

Its not that i hate board games in particular, but although betrayel is a fairly structured game, its also worded badly in parts, causing a lot of confusion at times and delaying the game further. To finish it off, i don't always have a choice when presented with one; someone will yell at you to choose the "right way" a lot of the time. I don't know, I just needed to get that petty crap off my chest because I'm a sook.

I hate playing betrayel legacy

post

eaw4aw

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaw4aw/i_just_realised_the_cos_in_cosplay_meant_costume/

self.confessions

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bit mental

I just realised the COS in cosplay meant costume!

post

eaw2it

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaw2it/my_gaming_laptop_of_8_years_died/

self.confessions

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaw2it/my_gaming_laptop_of_8_years_died/

My gaming laptop of 8 years died

post

eavycu

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavycu/im_terrified_im_going_to_be_disowned/

self.confessions

i love my family and all but i feel like if they truly knew who i am as a person and got to know me they would completely disown me, as someone who’s trans and closeted i’m terrified that they’re gonna disown me and or kick me out when they find out, i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. sometimes i just feel like i can’t do it anymore

i’m terrified i’m going to be disowned

post

eavvya

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavvya/i_sorta_stole_a_starbucks_coffee_mug_from_a/

self.confessions

I never buy those expensive ass Starbucks mugs, but I decided to one day. I didn't want to look at the price because I'd second guess the decision. I told the cashier, "I'll get a coffee and this mug." She took the mug, filled it with coffee, didn't tell me the price, and I cringed scanning my card. I enjoyed the hell out of that coffee. I was halfway home and was like, I want to see how much I spent. My account said "starbuck - $4" and I was confused, but I kept walking. And walking. And now I forever have this small guilt in the back of my head that I did not pay for this mug... But I saved $20 or so, and it's my favorite mug now. Maybe the cashier didn't see me take the mug off the shelf, thought it was my reusable, personal mug, and heard, "I want coffee 'in' this mug."

I sorta stole a Starbucks coffee mug from a simple miscommunication I could've easily fixed, but just didn't~

post

eavu1s

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavu1s/pirating_movies_is_evil/

self.confessions

[deleted]

Pirating Movies is Evil!

post

eavtnf

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavtnf/i_think_something_is_broken_inside_me/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I think something is broken inside me

post

eavtbv

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavtbv/my_sister/

self.confessions

My sister has no idea but every day after she goes to work I take a shower and play with myself and I've been squirting into her hair shampoo bottle for weeks

My sister

post

eavosn

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavosn/so_i_have_two_confessions/

self.confessions

\#1. i have bumps on my arm, i pick them until they bleed or i kinda rip it off, leaving bare flesh exposed and i cant stop, i have tried treatments. \#2. i have suicidal thoughts, i think how easy it would be to overdose, i cant bring myself to tell anyone but my boyfriend, and still i only tell him 2/3 of the time i have them, the other 1/3 i keep bottled up and to myself.

so i have two confessions...

post

eavog5

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavog5/my_friends_and_i_used_to_bully_a_gay_kid_when_we/

self.confessions

When I was in school there was this effeminate kid that my friends and I used to pick on. We'd call him names like "sissy" and "girly boy". He had no friends and would always eat alone. One day he forgot his diary at the table he was eating at. My friends and I went through it and saw that it was full of notes and gay poems about some guy he liked. We laughed and thought it would be funny if spread it around in school. So everyone came to know he was gay. Then the bigger and meaner kids started to pick on him. They started to call him names like "f*ggot" and "homo" and push him around. He was a pretty bright student but after he became "famous" his grades started to drop. Eventually he dropped out of school and no-one knows what happened to him.

My friends and I used to bully a gay kid when we were in school.

post

eavm40

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavm40/i_almost_married_the_man_that_almost_killed_me/

self.confessions

[removed]

I almost married the man that almost killed me, once

post

eavckf

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eavckf/the_vows_i_made_to_not_have_children_out_of/

self.confessions

[removed]

The vows I made to not have children out of wedlock prevents me from keeping them

post

eav9jq

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eav9jq/trapped/

self.confessions

(This is just a confession I needed to get off my chest) When I was 13 I had my first boyfriend, well while dating him he ended up becoming abusive both physically and mentally, I wasnt allowed to go see any of my friends, or go out with them. He was obsessive and if I got into a fight with him and ignored his texts hed show up at my window and knock on it for hours and just cry. Eventually we broke up after 3 years. Now I'm with someone else and I love him. He moved in with my family and I but now hes becoming controlling. I'm not allowed to go to parties with friends, drink, or go over to my friends house for more than a few hours without him texting me when I'm going to home. My friends are having a new years party and I dont have the heart to tell them my boyfriend isnt letting me go so i just told them I'm busy. I feel trapped and I hate it, I dont want to break up with him because I love him but I hate that I cant go out with my friends ever. I have completely wasted my teen years and I hate myself for it.

Trapped

post

eav625

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eav625/i_especially_found_a_pre_northern_island_uk_flag/

self.confessions

[removed]

I especially found a pre Northern Island, UK flag and burnt it on Independence Day once.

post

eav3zw

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eav3zw/i_need_to_undo_myself_as_a_service_to_others/

self.confessions

When I'm feeling pretty angry and sad, my two most prominent emotions and hardest to deal with, I can become something else entirely and without control. If I'm in my bad state I can do a lot of things if wish I couldn't do. I've never been able to deal with this side of myself. It's broad and the issues are spread throughout my being like a disease given to me by life and people like my mother and father. Like I was perfectly engineered to be a dysfunctional machine of denial and hate. One major biproduct of myself that stems from childhood is my desire to hurt and kill things. It takes a lot to walk away from the urge to harm bit if I'm unsupervised I tend to give in. I've hurt and killed my two rats. It was awful. Anything else I've killed was from when I lived in the woods as a child. I'd kill for fun or I'd kill things that were invading my bedroom. The bedroom kills were quick and fair. Kills for fun weren't. And now I'm in my 20's and I've still been unable to kick my BAD habits and terrible ways of thinking. No one treats me right or helps me. Even when I tell them what I'm struggling with and how I hurt animals. I've hurt my cats. My dog, my hamster. I've even hurt people but that's different. I'm going to kill myself if I can't solve this to prevent further harm to others and myself. Someone out there must be able to understand this concept.

I Need To Undo Myself As A Service To Others

post

eav1w6

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eav1w6/something_thats_eating_me_up/

self.confessions

When I was 14, I started dating this guy. He was my first ever relationship and my first ever love. We dated for a year and a half, that all came to an end in the summer of 2016. When I was 16 and a bit. We hadn't done anything sexual, because quite frankly, I was frigid. Anyway, there was a day in the summer when he came over to my house and I was ill. I was in my room asleep and my mum let him in and sent him straight up to me, little did I know, things in my life were about to change drastically. I woke up, to him ontop of me, and to be honest... Inside of me. I was wearing a t-shirt and no underwear from the night before, he'd simply become impatient with me. He had me pinned down by his elbows (this is what woke me) and he started to violently thrust inside of me. I was shocked, stunned and froze. I didn't move. I didn't make a sound. I never told him to stop. I just, cried. I felt betrayed and embarrassed. I bled, a lot. He'd bitten down my stomach, leaving marks and indents of his teeth. His elbows left bruises from his bodyweight ontop of me for so long, and his sperm - unknown to me, left me pregnant. I never told a soul about what he did, I never left him. I was ashamed. Two months later, It was my birthday and I remember making a doctors appointment to go onto the pill, as this became a weekly occurance. When I went to the appointment, I was never asked if there was a chance I maybe pregnant, but was asked if I was sexually active. To which I nodded. She gave me the pill. And I left. Over the course of a month from September to October, I slowly miscarried my baby. Eventually passing and finding out I was 19 weeks and 1 day pregnant with my little girl to be exact. The day I was raped was the day I lost my virginity and the day I got pregnant. To this day, up until now, nobody knows what happened to me. Me and him haven't been together since I miscarried but deep down, I'll always love him. Even after everything he did. So I'd never want to tarnish the rest of his life in the hope that he'll never do it again. My confession is, not only the above, but that I don't know what to do with myself. Since this happening, and bottling everything up, I've found an outlet that I don't even understand myself and up until now, I've never had the words to explain how I believe I'm helping myself. I guess I'm just seeking some sort of validation. I roleplay, but when I do roleplay (online) it's about men raping me. Its never the same scenario of what actually happened to me, but it scares me because I'm aroused by it. I feel as though the reason I do it, is because even though I'm being *imaginarily* raped, I'm in control of what happens and the way it happens. My imagination is what controls the outcome of the situation and deep down, I think that's my way of gaining back the control he took from my life. From me. Ive always wondered if anyone else deals with it the same way that I do, or if I'm just massively tormented and damaged by what happened to me?

Something that's eating me up.

post

eauzw8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauzw8/i_always_said_im_bisexual_f29_married_to_m31_but/

self.confessions

I cant leave i have three kids whom i love but i think im gayer than i admit to

I always said I'm bisexual (F29) married to (M31) but I think I'm meant to be with a woman and maybe I am gayer than I admit

post

eauyde

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauyde/i_want_to_meet_a_very_very_busty_woman_to_pay_for/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I want to meet a very very busty woman to pay for sexting even tho I have a girlfriend

post

eauxf8

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauxf8/she_expected_me_to_ask_her_to_the/

self.confessions

At college in New Orleans 20 plus years ago. This girl really liked me, and all of her roommates were dating my good friends, so she truly thought there was a chance I was going to ask her to formal. It was kind of a big deal trip, pretty much an all-inclusive weekend at the beach in Destin. We were at a bar late one night and I asked her if she had a minute, That I had something to ask her. After a big build up (“you know formal is coming up, etc.) and after a dramatic pause I asked her if she could water my plants while I was at formal. She started crying and left. A year later she asked me if I knew what day it was. I was like, your birthday? And she said, no, it was last year on this day when you broke my heart.

She expected me to ask her to the weekend-at-the-beach formal. Instead I asked her to water my plants while I was at formal with her frenemy.

post

eaused

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaused/i_personally_believe_muslims_should_be_forced_to/

self.confessions

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaused/i_personally_believe_muslims_should_be_forced_to/

I personally believe muslims should be forced to pay reparations for all the hideous crimes and atrocities they collectively have committed

post

eauro9

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauro9/i_really_dislike_giving_and_getting_christmas/

self.confessions

I grew up in a middle class family, with a mother who detests materialism and a father who is obsessed buying and giving gifts. Christmastime always felt a little tense because my dad was always resentful of my mom not appreciating gifts or getting into the "Christmas spirit". Also, I remember a theme of "ingratitude" accusations growing up. I was always afraid of being called ungrateful by my parents and grandmother so every time I was gifted or given something I felt anxious about it. Now my parents are divorced and the couple of Christmases I've spent with my father and much younger siblings are grotesque in how much he tries to buy their affection. I spent one year there right after the divorce when emotions were running high and my eleven year old brother had a screaming rage fit at my father for spending only $80 on a gift for him (among about ten others). It was horrible. I am going back to spend another Christmas with them this year but I am stalling buying presents. I've already decided I'm not buying any for the adults but even buying for the kids makes me uncomfortable. Just wanted to get that off my chest and see if anyone else here gets uncomfortable around the Christmas season!

I really dislike giving and getting Christmas presents.

post

eaurjo

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaurjo/i_caused_a_friend_of_mine_to_spiral_and_almost/

self.confessions

Trigger warning here, this post contains PTSD and sexual assault. This is difficult to talk about but it's something I need to talk about. Three years ago, I was visiting a friend in New York who I had a history with. We met while we were in college freshman year and had hooked up a couple times. We stayed friends through school and kept in touch after graduating. A girlfriend of a few years had just broken up with me a month or two before and I went up with the hope of a rebound hookup. She knew I wanted to and told a mutual friend (who later told me) that she wasn't interested. We went out that night and both got **very** drunk, drunk to the point where I couldn't walk well and she was throwing up in the bathroom of the club. We both took an Uber to her place and I put her to bed. She was in a small apartment so the plan was for me to sleep in bed with her, and I got in. We both passed out for a few hours but I woke up to pee, and when I did I woke her up. We had both sobered up a little by this point, she seemed active and awake, but both of us were still drunk. We talked when I got back in bed and I asked to kiss her, which she said yes to. Things started progressing and she told me to go get a condom from her desk. We stopped after less than a minute because I was too drunk to "perform well" so it was awkward starting and I could tell she was uncomfortable once we had. I asked quickly if she wanted to stop, she said yes, and we went to bed. The next morning we laughed about the bad hookup and I thought that was that. We continued to talk for a few months sporadically, but after a while we stopped talking. About a year later, she texted out of the blue and asked to talk. She told me that she had been hiding from me how much our hookup had affected her. She didn't remember any of it except feeling pain, and that only came back to her much later when she was with her boyfriend at the time (now husband). She became horribly affected by what happened and couldn't concentrate on her work, so badly she almost lost her job. She had relationship troubles and broke up with her then fiancé because she would have flashbacks. She only reached out because she started seeing a therapist and finally felt safe enough to reach out to me. I want to emphasize that at the time, I thought everything was consensual. She wasn't slurring words, her eyes seemed focused, and she was not only responding positively but actively initiating things. There were multiple moments where I asked her if she wanted to do something and she said yes. But clearly, she was drunk enough that she didn't remember the experience. Obviously if I knew she was still that drunk I never would have tried to hookup, but I didn't realize. To this day I wonder what the situation would look like if I could go back in time and look at impartially, whether I've forgotten anything, and how much I'm to blame for almost ruining the life of a close friend.

I caused a friend of mine to spiral and almost lose her job

post

eaurfd

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaurfd/i_drukenly_pleged_allegiance_to_isis_and_next_day/

self.confessions

[removed]

I drukenly pleged allegiance to ISIS and next day the FBI and US arrested me

post

eauq36

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauq36/i_miss_the_voice_in_my_head/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I miss the voice in my head

post

eaupts

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaupts/just_met_my_fatherinlaws_youngest_sister_and_wow/

self.confessions

I'm a 26M married to my wife for a year. I'm pretty close with all her family but there's one aunt of my wife's that I'm not familiar with. She has 1 kid who's 8 ad she's maybe 13 years older than me and we met her for the first time today over dinner & Holy shit she had the hots for me! I caught her making side glances at me, smiling at me often, twirling her hair when I talked to her etc while my wife is in earshot of most of this. If I'm being honest she's a very attractive lady but It was all so bizzare. Lol I'm really not sure if my wife has caught on to her aunt's flirting but I'm not even bringing it up.

Just met my father-in-law's youngest sister and wow.

post

eaum85

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaum85/i_would_shoot_trump_in_the_balls_and_the_face/

self.confessions

https://www.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaum85/i_would_shoot_trump_in_the_balls_and_the_face/

I would shoot trump in the balls and the face given a chance but I live on the other side of the USA from home so no chance of that happening:)

post

eauk9y

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eauk9y/my_husbands_1st_wife_and_kids_went_missing_and_im/

self.confessions

[deleted]

My husbands 1st wife and kids went missing; and I’m lying to my entire family about it; my family thinks they are dead

post

eaujpf

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaujpf/im_an_awful_person_and_i_like_it/

self.confessions

I own and embrace my demons daily. It has taken my years and a lot of self-abuse (physically and mentally) to be able to hold my head high with confidence. I have terrible, awful, thoughts. I won't go into detail but, it gets really dark. Things I can't give into, not because I'm afraid to. I'm just afraid I'll get caught. I know I'm evil and I'm upfront and honest about it. I don't need to pretend that I'm not. My husband is the only one who truly knows what I am capable of. However, I had spent a lot of years controlling that side and for now, I'm just happy knowing i could if I wanted to. Still, I plan. I have fantasies. I never act on them but, I'm happy planning. As a kid and as a teenager, I thought I was supposed to be tormented by these thoughts so, I spent a lot of time trying different things to quell them. I tried to feel bad. I would try to make myself feel tortured. Really, I was depressed because, I was denying my true nature. After all these years, I finally feel alive I feeling like I could take the world. And I will, one day.

I'm an awful person and I like it

post

eaufrr

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaufrr/i_banged_a_47_year_old_woman_when_i_was_19/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I banged a 47 year old woman when I was 19

post

eaubiu

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eaubiu/i_have_trouble_listening_to_people_when_they_speak/

self.confessions

I've recently noticed that when someone's telling their story, instead of fully paying attention, i keep phrasing my follow-up question and/or my opinions and I try to repeat it in my head (maybe cause I don't wanna forget my point). I can see how this can be disrespectful and I want to work on it.

I have trouble listening to people when they speak.

post

eau7u3

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eau7u3/i_pay_people_to_hang_out_with_me/

self.confessions

After my husband passed away in August of 2018 I had literally no one in my life and it has remained that way since. I've gone out to bars, clubs, all the places. I haven't been able to meet people, make friends, anything. I spend almost every night at home alone drinking myself to sleep and trying to think I'm not as lonely as I am, and really trying to not make embarrassing social media posts but damned if that doesn't happen. I started getting on apps and looking for hustlers, prostitutes, "massage artists", and then I hire them. Usually I pay them for an hour or two and we will go to dinner, or sit around and play video games, or just talk. Sex is never involved. I've met a lot of interesting people at least. That's what my life is. I work, and I pay people to be my friend for a couple of hours, and I drink myself to sleep more nights than not.

I pay people to hang out with me

post

eau20v

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eau20v/my_mother_died_tonight/

self.confessions

After 9 long years, her battle with dementia is over. I loved her very much and, while my heart is broken, a part of me is relieved. We knew she was dying and the past few months, waiting for the other shoe to drop has been torture. I just wanted it over with.....and now it is and I hate it. I want her to be at peace and I'm sure she is now. She was preceded in death by her mother and my son and in my mind they are all together now and I'm glad, but I still feel a sense of relief, like a burden has been taken off my shoulders. RIP mom. I love you SO MUCH. Snuggle your grandson until it's my turn to go and I can hold him in my arms myself.

My mother died tonight

post

eatw08

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eatw08/i_would_never_vote_for_trump_but/

self.confessions

[deleted]

I would never vote for Trump, but....

post

eatvgz

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eatvgz/feels_like_im_dying/

self.confessions

My life has been slowly losing pieces for years, ever since I kicked out my ex. She was abusive, almost killed me because she kept me awake all week and I usually only got a few hours a week. Almost crashed into a river because I fell asleep at the wheel. Ended up with 50/50 custody with my kids, and I regret not being able to stay with their mother so they could be happy. The oldest turned 2, 3 days before I kicked her out. My youngest wasn't born for 6 months, so has never experienced an intact home. The guilt is always there, and almost unbearable most days. I love my kids, I don't regret them in the slightest, tho they were conceived without my knowledge, to be used as tools to keep me trapped. That's not their fault, and I don't resent them no matter how much my life revolves around them. I had to fight tooth and nail for custody. If I lost them, I have no doubt I'd be dead soon after. I've been single for 5 years now, couldn't get a date to save my life. Been told MANY times that I'm not a viable partner, because of my kids. I've been told this by single mothers more often than not. I've been told I'm hurting their mother because I'm keeping them from her half the time, or that I'm only doing it to stick it to her and avoid child support payments. I get stupid sexist comments when I bring them to the park, only had the cops called once, great guys, told off the caller. Had one girl that seemed interested, met on POF, exchanged numbers, over 2 and a half years knowing where she lived and never meeting her. I spoke very plainly how I wanted to date her, we traded pictures of each other and each other's kiddos. After I realized I had known her without meeting her long enough to tell her happy birthday 3 times, and a friend gave me back advice that I had given her (it's either fuck yes or no) I cut the girl out. Whatever her intentions were, it wasn't leading anywhere. We lived about a 10 minute drive apart. Soon after that another friend told me to lose her number, because her boyfriend/baby daddy didn't like her talking to other guys. Fine whatever. And now my last friend, the one with the returned advice, doesn't have the time of day for me. Used to be we would make a point to meet once a month, minimum, either at a park for our kids to play together, or meet for her lunch break. Now I only see her a tiny bit when I run into her at school functions. She answers texts and such, at her convenience, which fine I get it. After 20 years, we are finally drifting apart. But that's it for friends. Nada. In Scouts with my oldest, I can't seem to connect with any other parents. I get lumped in with their mother, who white trash yells at my kids there. She's almost at the point from getting banned, but my and my sons reputations aren't too shiny. "But what about my family?" You probably aren't asking. They hate my kids mother and it obviously comes out on them. I've had to yell at them for trash talking their mom in front of them, all true but that's parental exclusionary abuse. They don't understand it hurts them. My mother is most hateful to them. Doesn't care when they are bullied by my 9 year old brother, makes excuses. NEVER shows a bit of affection or nice words to them. Hugs? Nope. Yells at them for doing the same things as their cousins? Yep, but not at the cousins. Wouldn't be nearly as bad except I'm stuck living with them. My ex destroyed my finances, as part of her abuse she was constantly stealing money from me. Barely leaving me enough for rent, and I was mostly starving with no money for rent. I'm trying to save up to leave, but if barely afford a place in town, and I don't want to take my kids out of the school system. They have minor issues due to their mother drinking while pregnant, not enough to be diagnosed, but enough to affect them. I know from first hand experience she was drinking while pregnant. My oldest is getting depressed from his mother not having time for him due to her 5 month baby. And she just announced another one. I am scared to ask him about it because I don't want to put thoughts in his head, and get blamed for it by family court. Direct quote from a 7 year old "momma only has time for the baby" which is heartbreaking and terrifying. I do everything I can to make them feel loved, but it's getting harder. Not because I don't love them, I love them more each day and I feel like dying every time I have to give them back to her. But because I feel like I'm nothing. I give them everything I can, but I never feel like it will ever be enough to make up for the broken home, for having to live half the week with me and a bunch of people that generally don't like them and half the week at a boarding house (their mother lives in a boarding house with her husband, her step daughter, her baby, my boys, and is pregnant). I struggle to give my kids as much as I possibly can, summer camp, camping trips, road trips, videogames, tons of affection. I don't let them play outside at home because they get yelled at for the whole mess and demanded to clean it up. Even if all 7 kids were out there. But I take them to parks to play, regardless of how tired I am all the time. I play with them, I watch TV with them, I do homework whenever it's there to be done. Maximum effort, I want them looking back and seeing how much I love them. But when they aren't here, I can barely function. My job is a good one, and has a lot of down time. Videogames I used to love and enjoy, I can't focus enough to play and not get bored. I try, but even playing online with people, I usually feel like I'm playing alone. I have loved reading all my life, started reading Stephen King books in 6th grade and I can't focus enough to read anymore. I listen to audiobooks while driving and that's as far as I can manage. I'm scared to go to therapy, because if their mother finds out, she will use it against me to try and take them from me. Shows I used to love, I only enjoy watching with my little buddies. I'm destroyed on Christmas when I have to give them to their mother mid way through the day. My birthday hasn't been celebrated in years. Tho my mother has a meltdown if hers is ignored a week later (no matter how much she says she doesn't want gifts or a party) but didn't care that mine is skipped, and comes up with manipulative excuses as to why it's fine. I feel like a husk. Like I'll never really be happy beyond my kids ever again. Just to have another adult human hug me and say it will be ok would do so much good, yet its out of reach and feels like it will be forever. When my boys aren't here I can barely get out of bed. I don't know what I can do. I can't seem to enjoy anything without my kids. There's no help for me. No one cares about single fathers, and even if I could get help, the courts are so biased against fathers, who knows what would happen. Their mother gets a DUI with them? Loses them for a month. My oldest has an accident that could have easily killed him due to her negligence? Loses them for 2 weeks. I don't want to take them from her completely, no matter what they love their mother. One day they will see what she is and decide from there, but for now I won't hurt them by trying to remove their mother except for threats to their health. I'm going to be alone forever, except for them, and him boot going to give them reason to hate me or cut off contract when they are older. I just hope I survive long enough, not that I would doing anything to myself, but I can feel my health degrading because of this mental state. I don't care about myself, except getting done what needs to be done for them. And I know that can't work, or my body will just self destruct on its own. But I can't fix it.

Feels like I'm dying

post

eatqei

2qq6g

confessions

https://old.reddit.com/r/confessions/comments/eatqei/there_is_only_one_race_bitch_pigment_has_nothing/

self.confessions

Its like chocolate man, whether its white, medium or dark it's still fucking chocolate. Done with racism, dont get the point, hate people for who they are not for where they are from. Edit: What i meant to say was by one race i mean that we are all people, and racism goes both ways, and i really fucking wish it would all just end.

There is only one race bitch, pigment has nothing to do with it.