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Let's see, uh, I took a shower and, um, you were watching the news and you said the "the Grunions are running tonight," and I said "okay great, let's go."
2neu
So I'm putting the animals out we're getting the car to the garage and--
2neu
Do you remember the first year we came here? It's about four years ago right after we got married.
2neu
And I remember thinking this is it. finally, finally I'm as happy as I'm supposed to be.
3sad
Wait a minute, I've got it.
2neu
It was when we were driving passed that knickerbocker liquor locker and you would said, no you said "let's get some champagne" and I said "no time to wasting" or something like that. That's what it is, right?
2neu
I'd rather not remember some things. I'd rather not hope for some things.
3sad
Oh right sure, of course.
2neu
No.
3sad
You want me to go get some champagne?
2neu
No.
3sad
Do you want to take off our shoes?
2neu
What? Huh?
2neu
You want to get married again?
2neu
A new carpet, a poodle, a suicide pact, ice cream, a back rub, what? What? What the hell do you want?
0ang
I want something to turn out the way that it's supposed to.
0ang
You think nothing turns out how it's supposed to. You think I had some grand idea going that four years down the line. We would come to this beach and argue over fish? No.
0ang
No, no I'm just like you, I thought it was going to be all rosy cheeks and the bills would pay themselves and fish will always come and--
3sad
No. You know what you get? You know what you get? You get this.
3sad
This what? What is this? This isn't even anything.
0ang
Yeah, it is.
2neu
Oh, sure this is standing on the beach, this is waiting, fighting.
0ang
Right.
2neu
This isn't anything like I thought anything would be.
3sad
I know me neither.
3sad
This is just this. I mean it includes a lot and everything but it's--do you understand what I'm saying?
3sad
I'm doing the best I can.
3sad
I know that Augie, I really do.
3sad
I just can't help wishing that I was somebody, somewhere else.
3sad
Maybe if you were with somebody else too?
3sad
I didn't say that.
3sad
No, I know but--I know I don't make you happy.
3sad
Yeah?
3sad
You are the one who probably wishes he was with somebody else, someone who didn't take everything so seriously, someone who would enjoy yourself.
3sad
Look what we got here.
1hap
It's not champagne.
2neu
I guess we don't need glasses.
1hap
Are you cold, huh? Do you want to go home?
2neu
I'm beginning to think you might be right. I think this might be the spot after all.
1hap
Augie, I'm sorry.
3sad
Shh...
1hap
If we are really quiet, the fish might come.
1hap
Or not.
2neu
Or not.
2neu
So what's up? What's new?
2neu
Well Vegas was awesome.
1hap
Yeah. I heard.
2neu
And, um, I got married.
1hap
Yeah. In the old town part.
1hap
Who did you marry?
1hap
Um- Yes. It was very romantic.
1hap
It was at the slot machines.
1hap
Uhuh, uhuh. He won big and he-and he realized that the only thing that would make it better was me as his bride.
1hap
He turned to you and was like...
2neu
[LAUGHTER] That's really romantic.
1hap
Yeah. Well. You know, because he's leaving the next day.
1hap
Yeah.
2neu
But we're going to have a honeymoon cruise.
1hap
Does that mean that you're going to get citizenship, too, in- in England or whatever?
2neu
Oh. I hadn't even thought about that.
1hap
Yeah. But he'll have like a long visa. Can you go visit then for a long time?
2neu
Oh. Totally.
1hap
I guess I'll- I guess I'll have an internet husband.[LAUGHTER]
1hap
Like you need another one of those.[LAUGHTER]
1hap
Is that your phone?
1hap
Yeah, so [LAUGHTER] He's calling me now
1hap
He loves you.
1hap
He likes to keep tabs, you know.
1hap
How much did he win at the slot?
2neu
Uh, I think seven hundred and fifty dollars.
2neu
Penny slots. That's what he plays.
2neu
Yeah.
2neu
I'm a big fan of the Wheel of Fortune quarters. But it just costs so much. I don't know.
2neu
Yeah. We played Wheel of Fortune pennies. It's like a giant thing with like-
1hap
But the pennies always get you because you end up spending like, you know, fifty bucks.
2neu
Fifty bucks. Mmhmm.
2neu
like, wait, but it's just pennies. You're like, wait a minute I'm on to you.
2neu
Yeah.
2neu
Well so now we're married. We have cat children.
1hap
Awesome.
1hap
[LAUGHTER] Cat babies.
1hap
We renamed Brenda, Lumber Janet.
1hap
That's fair enough.
2neu
She needs a new name each state that we go into. [LAUGHTER]
1hap
Well maybe...maybe he just wanted to see her.
2neu
He's not going to marry her.
0ang
How do you know he's even thinking about it?
2neu
It's got that about it.
0ang
What is going on here, Joe?
0ang
She is not his girl. She knows she's not.
0ang
Then why is she still single? New York is full of men, why is she still single? Probably a hundred people told her she's foolish, but she waited.
0ang
How do you know why she waited?
2neu
Because she knows what I know, that's why. She's faithful as a rock. In my darkest moments, I think of her waiting and I know that I'm right.
0ang
Nobody in this house dares take away her faith, Joe. You know strangers might, but not his father, not his brother.
0ang
I want you to-- I want you to act like he is coming back, both of you. Don't think I haven't noticed you since Chris invited her here.
0ang
I won't stand for any nonsense.
0ang
Because if he's not coming back, I'll kill myself. Oh laugh, laugh all you like but why does this happen the very night he comes back. She goes to sleep in his room and his memorial breaks in pieces. Look at it, Joe, look.
0ang
Just believe with me, Joe. Only last week a man came back in Detroit missing longer than Larry. Believe with me. You, above all, have got to believe. Just believe.
0ang
What have I got to hide? What the hell is the matter with you, Kate?
0ang
And very much sillier.
1hap