A woman flew to Nigeria to directly confront her internet scammer. And now, they're friends.
Maria Grette
The relationship that has developed between artist Maria Grette, originally from Sweden, and "Johnny," a former Nigerian scammer, has a very bizarre beginning. But, in the end, it's a heartwarming lesson about human potential.
Twelve years ago when Grette was 62, she was encouraged by her friends to start an online dating profile to get back into the swing of things after a divorce. "I received messages telling me that people had contacted me, but I never looked at them," she told the BBC.
Then one day she logged into the site and responded to an email from a man she refers to as "Johnny." "I still don't know why," she said. "It was like a sudden impulse happening before I could stop it."
He described himself as a 58-year-old from Holland, raised in South Carolina, currently working in England. His son was a student at Manchester University.
The two exchanged emails for a while and he eventually called her from a UK number. He had an accent that she couldn't place but didn't let it worry her.
Maria Grette was conned out of £8,000 by a stranger she met on a dating website! #LooseWomen https://t.co/itkkCmkrS3
— Loose Women (@Loose Women) 1477482606.0
After three months of communicating, he agreed to visit her in Sweden.
"I wanted to meet him because I liked him," she said. "He had a way and a sweetness I had never known in a man before. And he was innocent in a way that puzzled me." He told her that he would come to see her in Sweden after making a brief stop in Nigeria for a job interview with his son.
Johnny first called her from London's Heathrow airport. Then to let her know he had landed in Nigeria and met up with his son. The next time he contacted her, he claimed to be at Lagos hospital with his son who had been shot in the head during a mugging.
Johnny said that the hospital was requesting €1,000 for his son's treatment but he couldn't pay the bill because his bank had no locations in Africa. He asked Grette to wire him the money so that his son can receive treatment.
"I will never forget how I rushed to the Western Union office, trembling while I did the transfer," Grette said. "All I could think of was to get the two persons in Nigeria out of danger."
When Maria Grette met a Danish man through an online dating site, she was immediately smitten. But w https://t.co/of0wxWVrQ6
— GinWayne (@GinWayne) 1495493828.0
After the initial transfer, Johnny asked her for more money due to "complications" and demanding doctors. After sending €8,000 to Johnny, she began to believe that something was up. "I was angry, I sent some very angry emails when I realized something was wrong," she said according to The Mirror.
Three weeks later, something unbelievable happened. Johnny called her to confess that he was a 24-year-old Nigerian scammer. He had finished university two years before but couldn't find a job so he was forced into preying on people. "When he revealed everything to me I was past the point of shame. I felt so sorry for him," she said.
"He said he had never met anyone like me before, that he had been fighting his feelings for me for a long time," she said. "He said his scamming mates had warned him about falling in love with a 'client', that he had ignored them because he trusted me and did not want to lose contact with me."
"I wanted to meet him," she said. "I could not live with this relationship unless it was adjusted to reality in all senses."
In October of 2009, Grette traveled to Nigeria to meet Johnny. "When I saw him at the airport in Abuja, tears fell over his face, and I knew I had known him all my life," she said.
During their time in Nigeria, the two developed a strong friendship. After meeting some of her friends that were scammers she began to wonder how she could help get these men out of such dubious employment.
Maria Grette and the Nigerian scam artist: A case of innocent heroism or 'default mode' white saviour complex?-… https://t.co/S6kyxOlx8L
— Ventures Africa (@Ventures Africa) 1477044021.0
Two years later she began helping African artists visit Europe for exhibitions and workshops. She has also traveled to Uganda to give talks on art. She credits it all to meeting a very unique Nigerian scammer.
"Johnny has given me more than he took," she said, "Without him, I would not have met Africa."
Johnny has stopped working on scams and with the help of Grette, moved to America to get his education.
"He is very dear to me," she said. "He has asked me so many times to forgive him and I told him that the most important thing is to forgive himself."
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Thanks to Lifeboost, good coffee can be good for everyone.
Lifeboost coffee
Americans love coffee. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. According to one recent survey, 75 percent of U.S. adults drink coffee at least occasionally, while 53 percent—about 110 million people—drink it every single day. For some, coffee is an essential part of their morning ritual. For others, it's something they enjoy when they hit the proverbial wall in the late afternoon. But either way, millions of people use coffee to boost energy, focus, and productivity.
Unfortunately, like most good things in life, coffee can have a downside. For example, most mass-marketed coffee is pretty terrible for the environment and the local farming communities that produce it. Most mass-marketed coffee also has a negative impact on your physical health. And half the time, it doesn't even taste that good.
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Why Better Coffee Matters
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The iconic 70s song "Long, Long Time" was an integral part of an unforgettable episode that fans are calling a masterpiece.
Wikipedia/ HBO
Linda Ronstadt (left), Nick Offerman and Murray Bartlett (right)
HBO's emotional third episode of the zombie series "The Last Of Us" became an instant favorite among fans, thanks in no small part to Linda Ronstadt's late 1970s ballad, "Long, Long Time."
Using the song as the episode's title, "Long, Long Time," moves away from the show's main plot to instead focus on a heartbreakingly beautiful love story between Bill (Nick Offerman) and Frank (Murray Bartlett), from its endearing start all the way to its bittersweet end.
The song makes its first appearance during the initial stages of Bill and Frank's romance as they play the tune on the piano, just before they share their first kiss.
We see their entire lives together play out—one of closeness, devotion, and savoring homegrown strawberries—until they meet their end. The song then plays on the radio, bringing the bottle episode to a poignant close.
Series co-creator Craig Mazin recalled in an interview with IndieWire that he searched far and wide for the right song to encapsulate a theme of "commitment."
"It was important for me to show that the romance, however long it lasted, it didn't last. And then it's arguing. And then it's bargaining. And then it's realizing what the other person does for you…The whole idea was to hit the highlights of moments in your life where love means something different," he said.
Still broken after watching Nick Offerman sing "Long, Long Time" by Linda Ronstadt on #TheLastOfUspic.twitter.com/TSytBb2kZI
— Dave Quinn (@NineDaves) January 31, 2023
It wouldn't be until Mazin reached out to a friend with an "encyclopedic knowledge of all music" that he would stumble upon Ronstadt's song, which had fallen into obscurity.
Clearly, Mazin made the right choice. Immediately after the episode aired on Jan 29, viewers were hailing it as "one of the greatest episodes of TV ever made."
Music streaming service Spotify also reported that "Long, Long Time" received a 4900% increase in plays compared to the previous week. The chart-topping phenomenon resembles that of Kate Bush's 80s pop hit "Running Up That Hill," which saw a huge spike in plays after it was used in a pivotal episode of Netflix's "Stranger Things."
Oh, so all our hearts were breaking last night... 🍓 #TheLastOfUspic.twitter.com/upTiav0MLw
— Spotify News (@SpotifyNews) January 30, 2023
During its original release, "Long, Long Time" spent 12 weeks on Billboard's top 100 list and earned Ronstadt a Grammy nomination for "Best Contemporary Female Vocal Performance." Sadly, due to a 2013 diagnosis of progressive supranuclear palsy, a rare neurological condition similar to Parkinson's disease, the rock icon hasn't sung her legendary ballad, or any of her great songs, in over a decade.
Though Ronstadt has yet to comment on the use of her song in "The Last Of Us," the singer did post an older clip of a live performance onto her Instagram soon after the episode aired, along with the caption, "I think I'm going to love you for a long long time."
We might never hear Ronstadt sing again, but her music is being honored in beautiful ways. Her song's comeback through the show (which let's not forget is an adaptation of a video game) is a perfect example of how great art has a way of finding new life time and time again.
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His reading skills have improved so much that he plans to read 100 books this year.
@oliverspeaks1/TikTok
Oliver James is the biggest star on BookTok.
With over 125,000 followers, 34-year-old Oliver James is a star in the BookTok community. And it all started with a very simple goal: Learn to read.
For most kids, school is a place where they can develop a relationship with learning in a safe environment. For James, school was the opposite. Growing up with learning and behavior disabilities subjected him to abusive teaching practices in special education, which, of course, did nothing to help.
"The special education system at the time was more focused on behavioral than educating," he told Good Morning America. "So they spent a lotta time restraining us, a lotta time disciplining us, a lotta times putting us in positions to kinda shape us to just not act out in class."
Reading struggles carried over into James' adulthood, and as is the case for many adults who are functionally illiterate, it significantly reduced his employment opportunities and affected his self-esteem. As he would tell you, even a trip to the grocery store would be a source of anxiety.
@oliverspeaks1 Even something as simple as grocery shopping is a challenge for me. #readingbooks#books#booktok#groceryshopping♬ original sound - Oliver James
However, when he and his girlfriend decided to expand their family of three, James became determined to change things.
Starting his journey with a book of inspirational quotes gifted by his girlfriend, James began reading bits out loud and posting to TikTok. Being a personal trainer by trade and an aspiring motivational speaker, he would often combine his interests, like practicing planks while reading thought-provoking excerpts.
@oliverspeaks1 Motivational speaker to be. Learning to read. #motivationalspeaker#handstand♬ Pieces (Solo Piano Version) - Danilo Stankovic
With his heartfelt honesty and exuberant personality, it's no surprise that he has grown a loyal following. Fans will often send James more books to read in hopes for one of his popular book reviews. In fact, James has such an overwhelming to-read list that he's had to build his first bookshelf.
But perhaps the biggest impact has been the way reading has shaped James' relationship with his son. In an interview with NPR, he shared that they've not only bonded over books like "Percy Jackson" and "The Witches," but reading has proven to be a great resource for mental health, which has helped James become a better parent.
@oliverspeaks1 Replying to @thenerdysswer thank you for sending me the book the witches my son picked it to read and that was very special to our family. ##booktok##readmorebooks♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys - Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
"I didn't know how much my journey was going to affect him, but I see now it's not even about the reading. The books I'm reading have taught me about my mental issues, which I can now not put on to him. I can actually work on them, so he doesn't end up with the mental issues I have, because I can take them out of my household because I'm working on them. Without these books, I might have shown him these mental problems," he told NPR.
James' new goal is to read 100 new titles by 2024—ambitious for any bookworm in this day and age. But this man has already shown himself and the world just what can be done with simple daily practice and a dash of hope.
If you'd like to support James on his reading journey, you can purchase something from his Amazon Wishlist here.
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Nearly four million Americans don't live with their spouses.
A couple celebrates while packing their home.
One of the topics that we like to highlight on Upworthy is people who are redefining what it means to be in a relationship. Recently, we've shared the stories of platonic life partners, moms who work together as part of a "mommune" and a polyamorous family with four equally-committed parents.
A growing number of people are reevaluating traditional relationships and entering lifestyles that work for them instead of trying to fit into preexisting roles. It makes sense because the more lifestyle options that are available, the greater chance we have to be happy.
A recent trend in unconventional relationships is married couples "living apart together," or LATs as they are known among mental health professionals.
Actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton, actress Gwyneth Paltrow and producer Brad Falchuk, and photographer Annie Leibovitz and activist Susan Sontag are all high-profile couples who've embraced the LAT lifestyle.
"I think it certainly helps with preserving mystery and also preserving the idea that this person has their own life," Paltrow said, according to the New York Post.
The lifestyle appears to have become more mainstream in America as the number of couples living apart rose by more than 25% between 2000 and 2019.
A couple wrapping their furniture in bubble wrap.
According to The New York Times, there were 3.89 million Americans who live apart from their spouses in 2022, just under 3% of all married couples. The statistics do not include couples intending to divorce but do include those who are forced to live separately due to military duties.
Couples Therapy, Inc. says that LAT couples enjoy the lifestyle because it allows for "independence without sacrificing emotional support," more time for hobbies and interests, fewer conflicts, and prevents "exploitation along gender roles."
The disadvantages that LAT couples experience include maintaining emotional connection, occasional loneliness and dealing with the expectations of adult and minor children.
\u201cMore Canadian couples are choosing commitment, but not to share it under the same roof. It\u2019s called Living Apart Together.\n\nFor #GlobalNewReality, @MDimainGlobal speaks with couples and researchers about this growing trend.\n\nRead more: https://t.co/uOEQg4n1v8\u201d
— Globalnews.ca (@Globalnews.ca) 1647108002
Although there isn't a wealth of research on LATs, Bella DePaulo Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today that people who prefer to live apart from their spouse are looking for "independence and privacy." They also tend to be in their 40s and older and are less likely to need a live-in spouse to help with child-rearing duties.
Sharon Hyman told Today that living apart from her husband, David, puts their relationship in the proper context.
"Living separately allows me to have my needs met by others in addition to David, including friends and family. I feel that expecting one person to be your everything is setting yourself up for disappointment," Hyman wrote. "It's also unrealistic and puts tremendous pressure on a relationship. There are so many other people who enrich our lives. I'm a big believer in community. People in the past lived in villages or extended family groups, and I feel that a primary relationship should ideally exist within that framework."
Sana Akhand, 33, told The New York Times that living apart from her husband helped relieve her from the burdens of being a woman in a traditional marriage. "Being a wife is subconsciously really draining, because you're just thinking about this other person, their well-being," Akhand said.
Married couples who live apart from one another all appear to have taken the time to consciously consider their relationships and position them based on their needs, instead of the demands of the culture at large. It makes a lot of sense. Just because a lifestyle works for someone else doesn't mean it's going to work for you or your partner.
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