Sean Spicer Jokes
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Best Late-Night Jokes About White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer
by Daniel Kurtzman
Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject.
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A roundup of the best jokes by the late-night comedians skewering White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer.
"The White House is reportedly taking Sean Spicer off of giving press briefings, and moving him to a "more senior role focused on strategy." Which I think is the political version of saying someone's moving to 'a farm upstate.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"Actually, it turns out Spicer is leading the search for his own replacement. Trump would help — but he's busy searching for HIS own replacement." –Jimmy Fallon
"Steve Bannon apparently said that Spicer's press briefings have been off camera lately because, quote, 'Sean got fatter.' You know you're in bad shape when Steve Bannon thinks you've let yourself go." –Jimmy Fallon
"Trump's war with the press continues. Yesterday, reporters were blocked from recording video or audio during the White House press briefing. Which is incredible. When asked why cameras and recording devices were not allowed in the press briefings, Press Secretary Sean Spicer said... [moment of silence] I mean, I don't know. I can't make this any clearer. Nothing was recorded in there." –James Corden
"The president woke up bright and early this morning, the day after what had to be his worst birthday ever. He woke up, walked down the hall to Melania's bedroom, the door was locked. So he went downstairs, punched Sean Spicer in the stomach, wrestled the phone out of his little pink hands and tweeted about this special investigation into him." –Jimmy Kimmel
"There's a rumor that the White House is going to find a new place for Press Secretary Sean Spicer.
All they told Spicer was 'it's on a big farm upstate where you can run and play with all the other press secretaries…'" –Conan O'Brien
"Next one is from Sean Spicer. It says, "Today, I'm toasting to you." And inside it says, "Because you're the reason I drink every day." –Jimmy Fallon
"A new report just came out and it found that the employees at a Trump clothing factory in Indonesia are subject to low wages and verbal abuse. And even they wouldn't change places with Sean Spicer." –Conan O'Brien
"After the ruling, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said he's confident that the travel ban is "fully lawful." Then he was like, "Sorry, I read that wrong — it's 'fully awful.' My mistake." –Jimmy Fallon
"First lady Melania Trump and son Barron officially moved into the White House yesterday. Unfortunately, during the move, someone left the gate open and Sean Spicer ran away." –Seth Meyers
"Yesterday, Press Secretary Sean Spicer was asked if the president has confidence in his attorney general and he was unable to answer the question.
When Spicer was asked if he had any self-respect left, Spicer said, "I can't answer that question either." –Conan O'Brien
"This has to be maddening for White House "stress secretary" Sean Spicer. This is a guy, he specifically went out in front of the press and insisted that this was not a travel ban. And now Trump is in all-caps saying it is a travel ban." –Jimmy Kimmel
"A Memorial Day video made it's rounds where you can see mysterious red lights flashing in or on the second floor window at the White House. This went on for about 20 minutes. And White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said the red light was the reflection of an ambulance in Lafayette Park. So the one thing we know for sure is the red light was definitely not the reflection of an ambulance in Lafayette Park." –Jimmy Kimmel
"The president gets back home on Saturday after nine days abroad. Those nine days have been a big relief to the White House staff. Especially Sean Spicer. Let's just say he had the first good week on the job in quite some time.
The president gets back home on Saturday after nine days abroad. Those nine days have been a big relief to the White House staff. Especially Sean Spicer. Let's just say he had the first good week on the job in quite some time." –Jimmy Kimmel
"President Trump is having one heck of a week. The Justice Department appointed a special counsel to investigate ties between his campaign and Russia, which he did not like at all. But sources inside the White House say when he found out about it, he didn't yell or scream. He told his staff, "We have nothing to hide." He was calm. He punched Sean Spicer in the stomach a few times." –Jimmy Kimmel
"According to multiple reports, there may be some changes when the president gets back from his trip. White House "stress secretary" Sean Spicer might not be allowed to do the daily press briefings anymore, which would be a shame because that's one of my favorite shows right now." –Jimmy Kimmel
"The announcement of a special counsel [to investigate the Trump administration] shocked everyone, including the White House, which reportedly only got 30 minutes warning before the announcement went public.
Sean Spicer barely had time to dive in the hedges and cover himself with mud. He learned that from Schwarzenegger in "Predator."" –Stephen Colbert
"It is rumored that Fox News host Kimberly Guilfoyle could replace Sean Spicer as White House press secretary. Spicer's friends were going to take him out for drinks, but he said, "Actually, I've been drunk since January." –Jimmy Fallon
"Although Trump doesn't get credit for creating the term "prime the pump," he has created lots of other things. He has, for example, created Sean Spicer's ulcers, soaring stock prices for Xanax, and he created — let's not forget — he created lots of jobs for his kids." –James Corden
"The whole administration is facing questions about this firing. After reporters were hounding Press Secretary Sean Spicer for comments, he did what any professional White House press secretary would do: He hid in the bushes." –James Corden
"After news of the Comey firing broke last night, Press Secretary Sean Spicer avoided reporters by hiding behind a bush outside the White House. Today, Bill Clinton said, "Oh yeah, I remember that bush." –Conan O'Brien
"Yesterday when the Comey firing happened, White House "stress secretary" Sean Spicer was about to leave for his Navy Reserve duty. And he didn't want to answer questions, so he hid in the bushes outside the White House. For real. Sometimes you've got to stop and smell the Rose Garden, you know?" –Jimmy Kimmel
"Spicer finally agreed to come out if the reporters turned their camera lights off and their cameras. I guess for some reason he felt like the White House press secretary crawling out of his hiding place might be a bad visual." –Jimmy Kimmel
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer gave a new interview where he said that he loves his job and is humbled to have it. Then Spicer blinked his eyes in Morse code to spell out 'HELP ME.'" –Jimmy Fallon
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer today left his daily press briefing without taking questions from reporters. Spicer was apparently too busy taking questions from himself. 'Why do I keep doing this? What's wrong with me? Why don't I quit?'" –Seth Meyers
"Nothing matters to Donald Trump more than ratings. When Trump was asked if he planned to fire embattled press secretary Sean Spicer, he said, "I'm not firing Sean Spicer, that guy gets great ratings. Everyone tunes in." It's true. You can't tear your eyes away from Sean Spicer — it's like watching a car crash that knows nothing about the Holocaust." –Stephen Colbert
"The New England Patriots visited the White House, and Patriots star Rob Gronkowski interrupted Sean Spicer's White House press briefing and asked if he needed help. Reporters all laughed while Sean Spicer whispered, "Yes." –Jimmy Fallon
"At today's Easter Egg Roll, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer read a book to children. Afterwards, all the kids had the same question: "Who's Hitler?" –Conan O'Brien
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has apologized for his Hitler comments and admitted he "screwed up." I don't think Spicer learned his lesson though, because he then said, "Even Hitler didn't screw up as badly as I did." –Conan O'Brien
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer tried to down play the issues at his press briefing this afternoon.
He did it an interesting way. He invited a group of children into the room and told them the egg roll doesn't matter because there's no such thing as the Easter bunny anyway." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Before he was press secretary, Sean Spicer actually played the Easter bunny at the egg roll during the Bush administration. Which means this week, for the first time maybe in history, we got to see the Easter bunny apologize for comments about the Holocaust." –Jimmy Kimmel
"During his daily briefing sporty spice, as he is known, made an absolutely incredible statement about Syrian President Assad, that if it wasn't so disturbing, would have been Hit-larious. He said, even someone as despicable as Hitler didn't sink to using chemical weapons, which of course is very wrong. Sean Spicer might be the only press secretary who needs a press secretary." –Jimmy Kimmel
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said today that President Trump came to Washington "to get things done." That's why, five minutes into every meeting, he says, "Are we done?" –Seth Meyers
"Press secretary Sean Spicer said today that the White House was optimistic about the chances of the Republican healthcare bill, but, quote, "At the end of the day, we can't make people vote." [shows photo of Hillary] "Tell me about it," said one woman." –Seth Meyers
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said yesterday that President Trump is looking to reaffirm America's commitment to NATO. Spicer said, "Trump will do everything in his power to find out what NATO stands for." –Seth Meyers
"White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced yesterday that Donald Trump would be donating his presidential salary to a charity at the end of the year. Credit where credit is due — Trump is getting pretty creative in the ways he's refusing to pay his taxes." –James Corden
"Spicer said not only will Trump donate his salary, he would love for White House reporters to determine "where it should go." Unfortunately, where they suggested it should go is not a place that I can say on television." –James Corden
"A woman confronted White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer in an Apple Store this weekend. Not sure where he was in the Apple Store, but safe to say, not at the Genius Bar." –Seth Meyers
"Press Secretary Sean Spicer says that President Trump didn't literally mean that President Obama wiretapped him. He also said Donald Trump didn't literally mean for people to vote for him. That was not the idea." –Conan O'Brien
"It's come out that Trump Administration Press Secretary Sean Spicer was the White House Easter Bunny in the early 2000s. Or as Spicer calls it "back when I had some dignity." –Conan O'Brien
"According to Politico, during a recent White House communications staff meeting, press secretary Sean Spicer made a deputy communications director cry. To be fair, all he said was, "Wanna hang out later?" –Seth Meyers
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