Legal Grounds
Our New Favorite DUI Excuse: 'Because the Jets Suck!'
By Christopher Coble, Esq. on November 14, 2018 2:00 PM
Look, we're not saying the New York Jets are a good football team or even an above-average one. The team hasn't made the playoffs since 2010, and has been the butt of jokes for years. In fact, you probably shouldn't ever watch the Jets -- not if they show up on ESPN highlowlights; not if they're playing against your favorite team; not even if you've been a lifelong fan.
What we are saying is that, from a strictly legal standpoint, "I drank too much because the Jets suck!" is not going to get you out of a DUI conviction.
That was Christopher Greyshock's excuse last Sunday, after he rear-ended another vehicle on a New Jersey highway. Greyshock, who was found lying in the grass next to his car, initially told the police he hit the car because it had stopped in traffic ahead of him, but couldn't walk straight and stumbled as he went to talk to officers. While Greyshock was attempting to perform field sobriety tests, he allegedly told officers, "I drank too much because the Jets suck!"
The Jets really did suck that day -- getting blown out 41-10 at home to the Buffalo Bills (who are also terrible) -- and that led to quite a bit of drinking. Greyshock had a .13 BAC and a three-fourths-gone bottle of whiskey in his car, along with a partially smoked joint in his car, a baggie of marijuana, and rolling papers.
Drinking (and Smoking) and Driving
Police arrested Greyshock (who took a delightful mug shot) impounded his car, and charged him with assault by auto which resulted in injuries while driving under the influence, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, driving while under the influence, reckless driving, and having an open container of alcohol in a car.
So yeah -- don't watch the Jets. And if you must, don't drink and drive.
'The Jets Suck!': Fan Allegedly Blames Team for Drunk Driving Arrest (New York Post)
Worst DUI Excuse Ever: Drunk Man Was Trying to 'Drive It Off' (FindLaw's Legal Grounds)
Wisconsin Man's Excuse for 10th DUI: Beer Battered Fish (FindLaw's Legal Grounds)
Florida Man Blames His DUI on the Squirrel (FindLaw's Legally Weird)