BooksHarry Potter
The Nargles In the Air
By: Andrew Joshua Talon
Luna had a growth spurt. Harry notices. Sixth Year AU, HarryLuna, Lemon warning, no longer a one shot. Enjoy.
Rated: Fiction M - English - Humor/Romance - Harry P., Luna L. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,447 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 2,020 - Follows: 1,264 - Updated: 12/18/2010 - Published: 11/23/2010 - id: 6497866
1. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 3
A Harry Potter fic by Andrew J. Talon
Edited by The Sage of Toads
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of J. K. Rowling, Warner Brothers and others who are not me. I am not writing this for profit.
Author's Note: This is a lemon which contains adult content and sex, please do not read unless you are over 18 years of age. Don't say I didn't warn you because I did.
It had been a difficult day for Harry Potter. Between Dumbledore's showcasing of what he privately referred to as "Voldemort's Home Movies" and Draco's plotting behind the scenes, Harry was feeling at his wit's end. He was trapped in this castle unable to do a thing against Voldemort all the while his friends were more concerned with their petty self-interests to stop and help him. All of these thoughts weighing on his mind pushed Harry into doing something that, while not productive, would at least be cathartic: Beating his head against a wall of the castle, in a hallway where no one could find him.
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."
Harry slowly became aware of another thumping sound nearby. A sound remarkably like that of a person beating their head against a wall-A sound he was very familiar with. This sound was coupled with another familiar sound: That of a young woman's voice. He stopped as his brain processed all the possible females who could be here copying him, and he sighed as he came to one conclusion.
"...Hello Luna."
"Hello Harry. Ow. I'm glad you stopped," Luna Lovegood replied, pulling her head back. She winced and rubbed her forehead. "That was starting to hurt."
"Why were you doing that?" Harry asked.
"You were doing it, and I decided that the best way to find out why was to do it myself," Luna said with a smile. Harry turned his head to look over at Luna. He found a small smile coming to his lips despite himself.
"You could've asked."
"Yes, I could," Luna said serenely.
Harry blinked, and then got a better look at Luna. He turned around completely and looked her up and down to get as good a look as he could. It became abundantly clear she was not wearing her robes, only her uniform.
"...Luna, did you...grow?"
"Mmm?" Luna blinked owlishly, and then looked down at herself, as though entirely familiar with the swell of her bosom. A very, very nice looking swell, Harry thought.
"Oh yes. My breasts and buttocks got much bigger. Sweden has very rich food. Did you see what it did to my hair?" At his look, she turned around in a circle, allowing him to get a good look from every angle. Every wonderfully full angle. Harry's face turned red and part of him admonished the rest of his body for refusing to not look away from Luna's developed assets. That part was promptly told to shove it by the entirety of Harry Potter's libido, which was cheering loudly at this turn of events.
"Y-yes," Harry stammered.
"I also began wearing make up. It's on my face, in case you were wondering," Luna said, entirely ignoring the hungry and confused expression Harry was wearing.
"Eye-liner...it's...nice on you...lipstick too."
Luna smiled. "Thank you, Harry." She pouted thoughtfully. "Now, I wanted to ask you some questions. I had quite forgotten until now." She sighed. "I can only blame the Nargles. It's their mating season and its muddling everyone minds..."
"...What do you want to know?" Harry asked, eyes roaming about still.
"Hm? Oh, yes. Why were you beating your head against the wall?" Luna asked.
"Frustrated about things."
Luna nodded.
"You were very frustrated last year, too. It's understandable though."
"I… I think I'm going to burst at some point," Harry admitted. Luna nodded and laid a hand on his shoulder consolingly.
"What can I do to help?" She asked.
Harry's libido saw its chance, its glorious sunrise dawning. It grabbed the reins from the rest of Harry's numerous mental processes, running for control of the lips, this one perfect moment to finally release the stress of being the Wizarding world's prophesied savior and Fate's Bitch all over (and in, and on, and maybe in again) Luna Lovegood-
"Harry my boy!"
-and was released instead as a choking sound Harry made that resembled a basilisk trying to down a struggling deer. Professor Horace Slughorn took no notice of this, a jovial smile on his lips pushing his mustache up and making him resemble a lolrus.
"Harry, just wanted to hand you this invite! I'm having a little party for me and a few of my friends this evening. I hope you can make it." His smile slipped as he noticed Harry's eyebrows twitching. "Harry? Are you all right?"
"Harry, Professor Slughorn asked if you were all right," Luna said gently. "Are you?"
"F-F-Fine," Harry managed.
"Well, uh… You should bring a date! Perhaps this young lady!" Horace suggested.
"Date?" Harry asked.
"Yes Harry, that is what he said," Luna said, a light blush coming onto her cheeks. Harry slowly looked over at Luna.
"Date? You? Party?"
Luna nodded. "I would be happy to go. If you'd like me to. I've never been on a date before."
"Yes. Date. Luna. Party. Good," Harry said.
"Yes. Date good," Luna agreed.
"Splendid! See you both there!" Horace replied as he bustled off with a jovial smile once more in place. Luna nodded to Harry.
"I will see you at dinner then?"
"Food. Dinner. Luna. Yes. Date good," Harry replied.
"Dinner. Date. Luna," Luna confirmed. She turned and walked off. Harry stared after her for a moment, as the rest of his mental faculties reasserted themselves in a compromise of power with his voracious libido.
"Huh? Oh…" He nodded. He had to go get ready.
In the Gryfindor Common Room, Harry, now freshened up, shot the breeze with Ron while both waited for Hermione to go to dinner. Their friend had also received an invite from Slughorn and Ron was trying not to look as though he was concerned, sitting with Lavender on one of the Common Room's many couches.
"You know, I haven't seen Luna much this year. How has she been?" Ron asked, as his girlfriend pawed him. Harry smiled a bit.
"...Great."
"Lav, not now..." Ron muttered. "Like, how great?"
"But Won-Won~!" Lavender whined.
"Really great," Harry said. At last Hermione came down the stairs, a wide smile on her face and her dress robes on.
"Hello… Shall we?" She asked.
"Huh? Where are you going?" Ron asked flatly.
"To the Slug Party," Hermione said calmly.
"With who?" Ron demanded.
"Cormac McLaggen," she replied with a smile.
"Cormac McLaggen? Why are you going to date that wanker?" Ron demanded.
"He was invited, and he asked," Hermione said. "Harry's going too, aren't you?"
"Ah, yes. With Luna. Got a date." Harry stammered. Hermione beamed.
"Shall we?" She gave Ron a sidelong look. The Weasley's face turned red in anger, Lavender's pouting and pawing utterly ignored.
Harry sighed. He just wished his friends could get over their damn feelings and either have it out or shag. Whichever would get them acting like rational people again so maybe they could thwart Voldemort's evil plan for this year. Then things could go back to normal.
The Great Hall was full this night, filled with the numerous students of Hogwarts for dinner. Harry looked around for Luna. Turns out she was very easy to find. Luna stood in a rather bizarre silver dress. But it was low cut and had apparently been charmed to outline the curves of her body, so what had been hidden before by school regulations was now on glorious display.
"Hello Lu...na?" Ron asked.
"I'm very sorry if I'm late, Harry," Luna said. "If I wasn't though, then I take back that apology."
"Titally fine," Harry said. There was a pause as his face went bright red. "Totally fine!"
"I'm titally fine as well, Harry," Luna replied, utterly nonplussed. Ron snickered.
"Hey, Hermione! Ready for our date?" McLaggen asked, a smarmy grin on his face. Hermione schooled her features into a sickly grin and looked up at the tall, blonde Quidditch player. Ron's expression was that of anger.
"I'm looking forward to it, Cormac. Shall we?" She asked with a sickly sweet tone. Ron's expression became downright murderous. Harry sighed, and offered his arm to Luna. She took it, and looked back at Ron.
"Ronald seems quite upset," she noted.
"He is," Harry confirmed.
"So does Hermione," Luna observed.
"You're right about that too," Harry said.
"So many Nargles," Luna sighed. "It's a bother, I can barely think with all of them buzzing about." She pressed her chest lightly against Harry's arm. Harry nodded.
"Boobs. I mean bother. Yes."
The portly Potions Professor had gone out of his way to throw a spectacular party. The food was wonderful, the drinks flowed like a river over an enchanted ice sculpture of a few swans, and relaxing music played from charmed instruments. It sounded like something by Bach, though Harry wasn't much of a classical music expert. Slughorn's club of various celebrities or powerful people talked, ate, drank and (in Blaise's case) made out with some hot chick in a corner. Even Snape was there, though he did little but walk around and glower, so no change there. To escape attention, Harry and Luna had taken refuge near the back of the room behind some curtains, sitting and eating some snacks and preventing too much attention being cast on them.
Right now though, Harry could not care less. He found that Luna's tits and the things he wanted to do to them were a wonderful, wonderful tits. Tits. Crap. He needed to get his mind off them. He really did. But come on, one of his friends had sprouted up over the summer and he was sixteen-bloody-years old. He couldn't be blamed for focusing so much, could he?
"Harry… I feel a bit embarrassed to ask this, but…" Luna began. Harry blinked and looked up at her face.
"Ah, yes Luna?"
"Did you ask me to the party simply because of my growth spurt?" She asked. Harry coughed violently, and shook his head.
"No! Nonono! No! Not at all! No! I mean… Uh…" Luna stared at him. Harry looked aside, cheeks red. "Well… Maybe a little…?"
Luna nodded. "I'm sorry to embarrass you, but I wanted to know. And thank you for being honest."
"Uh… Well… I mean… It's not just because of that, really," Harry assured her. Luna frowned.
"Yes, but haven't paid any other girls attention this year…"
"I have, but they were all either preoccupied or didn't interest me to that point, really," Harry said quickly.
"So why else do I interest you aside from my boobs?" Luna asked.
"Well... because you've actually gone out of your way to notice my plight and I'm feeling like I can talk to you," Harry admitted. "I mean, Hermione and Ron are fighting too much to talk to, Quidditch is just rubbish, Professor Dumbledore is away… It's just so frustrating, you know?"
Luna nodded. "You do have trouble talking to people."
"Huh? I do?" Harry asked.
"Yes. But that's okay, most people do," Luna said. "So do I really."
"But you're always talking to people about the Quibbler and your theories."
"Yes, but that's different than talking about personal things," Luna said. "For instance, the only people I've talked to about Mommy are my father… And you."
Harry stared for a second, silent. Luna smiled.
"But it can be good to talk about these things. It's what friends do, right?"
Harry smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it is."
"So, what else would you like to talk about?" Luna asked.
BOOBS! HER BOOBS! His libido shouted.
"Ah, hello Harry my boy! Enjoying your evening? Oh my, and your lovely date is here! I'm so sorry my dear, what was your name again?" Slughorn interrupted his thoughts as he approached where Luna and Harry were sitting. Luna smiled and nodded politely, her gaze focusing somewhere above Slughorn's right shoulder. Harry thought of numerous ways he'd like to dissect the potions professor and then dunk the pieces in acid.
"Luna Lovegood," she replied. "My father has written about you before, Professor Slughorn."
"He has, has he?" Slughorn asked, quite pleased. "What publication is it in? Potions Most Potent? International Journal of Potions?"
"The Quibbler actually," Luna replied. "Tell me, have you resolved your legal problems with the League of Steam, or do they still pursue your head for tormenting a near-sighted troll with a feather duster?"
"I… Ah… No, no they do not, hahaha!" Slughorn said, laughing uneasily. "Why, what a remarkable young lady you are!"
"I imagine-Many people remark about me," Luna replied. "Though I don't know what about, as that would be eavesdropping and thus rude."
Slughorn laughed again and elbowed Harry a few times. "I'm charmed, truly. What is your relationship with young Harry?"
"We fought Deatheaters together," Luna said.
"Yes," Harry said.
"Ah, yes, the Ministry Battle! Very impressive you two."
"Uh…" Harry tried, but couldn't say anything. Slughorn continued prattling on about how impressive it was. It didn't feel that way to Harry-All he'd done was screw up and get Sirius…
"Let me go you filthy Squib!"
There was a commotion at the front door. Filch burst into the room, dragging a very unhappy looking Draco Malfoy with him. Harry rose, as Slughorn turned. Luna looked on interestedly.
"Professor, I found him skulking about on this floor," Filch hissed. Slughorn frowned. Draco huffed.
"I was invited-"
"His name isn't on the guest list," Filch sneered.
"Okay! I was gatecrashing then! All right?" Draco sneered. Professor Snape rose from his seat at the cocktail table, and walked over to Draco.
"I will discipline him myself, Professor Slughorn, if you don't mind?" Snape said. Slughorn nodded.
"Of course, of course! Though do go easy on him, Severus. He's just a boy."
"Yes. Just a boy," Snape said quietly. He dragged Draco out of the party and out the door. Harry watched him go, and rose to follow.
"Harry?" Luna asked.
"I'll be right back," he said.
Snape dragged Draco to an empty classroom, and Harry stopped just outside the door to listen. They began talking and arguing, being vague about what they were discussing. They seemed to be discussing a plan of some sort, that Draco insisted on carrying out himself. He didn't trust Snape-Harry couldn't really blame him. Well, he could, but for other things.
Harry then felt a familiar pair of breasts bump against his back.
"Ah? Luna?" Harry whispered, looking back over his shoulder. Luna held a finger up to her lips. Harry nodded and turned back to the scene.
"You act like you don't want him to succeed!" Draco accused Snape. The head of Slytherin froze, and took a deep breath.
"... I want you to succeed. You're taking risks-Risks that could get you killed. You're not good at this Draco-Let me help you."
"I don't need your help!" Draco turned and stormed towards the door. Hearing this, Harry looked around. There was a door nearby. Harry grabbed Luna's hand and pulled her towards it. He opened the door-It was a broom closet but it would have to do. He pulled her in with him and shut the door just as he heard the classroom door open.
All that could be heard inside the closet was the sound of their breathing, which seemed incredibly loud. Harry wrapped his arms around Luna instinctively, pulling her tightly against him. It was to keep her calm, he told himself. Yes. Calm.
Her warm, soft body pressing against him was very distracting though. As were her arms going around his neck, her lips pressing against his-Wait what?
"Mm," she hummed against his lips and kissed him, a pleasant tingle passing between them. Harry closed his eyes and kissed back, his breath and pulse quickening at their warm connection. Harry pressed his tongue through his lips against hers, and she gladly reciprocated. Their mouths opened against each other and things became much hotter, much softer, much wetter...
Harry's hips pressed against hers, his dick already feeling painfully hard. Against Luna's warm mass though it became even more of a torture. She was a wonderful softness being blocked by suddenly stuffy clothing.
"Mmm…"
Harry reached up and gripped the back of her shoulder, his other hand splaying over the small of her back. Her foot went up as she leaned up against him, as her tongue traced his teeth.
She let out a soft sigh through her nose as her breasts were crushed against his firm chest. It was a sound Harry groaned at-God, this was what sexy felt like. No wonder Ron and Hermione were going nuts.
"Hmph… Mmphwaw…" Luna broke the kiss, panting softly. Harry lowered his lips to hers again, retaking her mouth. Forced on the defensive, Luna's tongue dueled with Harry's a bit but finally relented, allowing him free reign over her mouth. Greedily his hands clutched at her, as he ground his hips into hers. A soft moan left her throat and the pent-up teenaged wizard shuddered as the sound seemed to vibrate through him.
The kiss was again broken, and the two stared at each other. Harry felt sweat bead on his brow, and saw sweat bead between Luna's breasts. She in turn watched him intently, her tongue making interesting motions in the dimly lit broom closet.
"It's very cramped in here…" Luna whispered. "There isn't a lot of room… To talk."
"Talk about what?" Harry asked.
"My boobs," Luna said. "You seemed so interested in them, haa…" She let out a sigh as he pushed her back just enough for both of his hands to grope her breasts. Their cramped position let him grind against her at the same time, the lustful stimulation driving him to dominate her.
"I want to do more than talk," Harry said in a husky voice. He licked his chapped lips. "I would like to touch them, suck on them, pinch them, stick my p-penis between them and enjoy a tit-job from them, and play with them until you beg me to do other things, namely sex…" His squeezed and played with her tits happily as she let out another sigh. "Lots of sex, over and over and over and… Wow… I'm really pent up."
"I've noticed," Luna said softly. "Does talking about it help?"
"No. It makes me want to do it more."
Luna licked her lips. "Then we should do it somewhere with more room…"
Harry opened the door partially, peeking out through the crack. Snape was long gone-There wasn't anyone else around. They went off to the room where the two Slytherins had been arguing. Harry pushed her against a desk and resumed kissing her, unhesitantly fondling her breasts.
"Mmm…" Luna's fingers squeezed his shoulders as her tongue sloppily wrestling with his. "Hmmwaahhn..." Her hands seemed to go everywhere, tracing his body through the robes. In a very Luna-ish fashion she went about at random, squeezing his buttocks in curiosity, tracing the sinews of his arms, breaking their kiss long enough to touch his lips with her fingertips. She took his glasses off and put them on herself, and she giggled. A smile came to his lips in turn."You look good in them," Harry said.
Luna giggled. "I can't see how you look in them…"
Harry pushed her dress up, enjoying the feel of her soft legs as he ran his hands up them. Her skin was creamy and somewhat pale, but that just set an erotic contrast between them and the dark coloring of her panties. The panties were soon pulled down, and Harry stared at Luna's sex. It was open, and slightly shiny, and the smell… It was like her own scent but much stronger and more enticing.
"Harry? Are you all right?"
The libido had taken the throne of Harry Potter's mind and body. Now, triumphantly, it gave the order to storm Luna's holy gates. He undid his belt and pushed down his pants and boxers. Luna barely had time to see his cock (and had no other references for size) before Harry lined himself up and slammed it in, hard.
"AH!" She cried out, hands spreading across his chest. Harry took hold of her hips demandingly before pushing himself in as deep as he could go. Luna took in a deep breath and shuddered, the fabric of his shirt bunching up between her fingers.
"Ah… Sorry… Hot…" Harry mumbled. He began to thrust into her, his hips slamming into her buttocks. Luna took deep breaths as he did so, and bit her lower lip as he pushed in deeper.
"Nngh… I'm stretching," Luna moaned. Her wide eyes became half-open as the strange sensations assaulted her.
"Haa… Haa… Haa…" Harry breathed deeply as he plowed into her. Her insides felt like a strong fist wrapped in a hot, wet glove, squeezing him every time he entered her. Over and over again he pounded her. His hands moved to grip her rear end, and he began to physically pull her into his thrusts.
"Mmm… Harry," she murmured. She reached up and cradled the back of his head, resting her chin on his shoulder. It was slightly uncomfortable but it let her slam her hips back against his, increasing the sensations. She hissed as he thrust in particularly hard, and her legs rose to clasp his thighs.
"Do that again…"
Harry obliged her, and she let out another pleased hiss. "Again…"
"I don't know how long…"
"As long as you can," Luna said softly, her hold on him tightening. Harry did so, pounding away into her hot quim with as much force as he could manage. Luna began to squeak as he did so, and her nails dug into his shoulders.
"Hhh! Hhh! Hhh! Hhh!" Luna trembled, and grabbed one of his hands. She moved it between their joined sexes, insistently pushing his fingers just above her full lower lips. "Th-There, please, rub…!"
Harry's fingers went into motion, and as though grasping for a Snitch during a Quidditch match, they moved with fast and strong motions against Luna's clitoris as he pounded her desperately. Luna squeaked as her insides fluttered around him, and that was it for Harry.
"Uhhh…" A groan left his lips as he came, shooting a hot spray of his seed all over her vaginal channel. Luna pressed his hand harder against her clitoris and let out another squeak, her eyes closing tightly. Both of them stopped moving, clinging to each other, as their mixed fluids leaked from Luna's sex onto the desk.
Neither of them said anything for a while, warmth and relief passing over them. At some length, Luna pulled back from Harry just enough to kiss him again, a gesture he happily returned.
"Haa… That was… Very nice, Harry," Luna said. Harry chuckled tiredly, and nuzzled her.
"Yeah…"
"… Does this make us boyfriend and girlfriend?" She asked quietly. Harry looked at her. She had a hopeful look on her face, and a similar look came over his.
"If you want to…"
"I do," Luna replied.
"Then yeah… Sure," Harry confirmed. Luna kissed him again, her tongue breaching his lips and swirling around his mouth. This action, plus a little moan of hers, sent a jolt down to his dick. The kiss broke off again as both looked down. Harry's cock began to slowly rally. Luna looked up at Harry, and licked her lips.
"Again?"
Harry's libido crowed. Tonight was a good night indeed!
"Harry?"
"Ungh… Nngh…" Harry slowly opened his eyes, his senses taking an account of his situation. It looked bad: Luna cuddling naked against his side, the fact they were both in bed in the Room of Requirement… Actually, things looked pretty fantastic.
"Morning Harry," Luna said quietly, her arms wrapped around his waist. "I think it's a good morning, but I wanted to get your opinion."
Harry smiled at her, and nuzzled her cheek. "It's a very good morning…"
Luna smiled back and kissed his nose. "Mm…" She sighed and snuggled against him. Harry tightened his grip around her shoulders and breathed deeply of her hair. He couldn't recall waking up more content or relaxed… Well, ever.
"Classes start soon," she mumbled into his chest. Harry sighed and brushed some of her messy hair off her shoulder.
"I don't want to go, myself," Luna admitted. "But…"
"But…?"
Her stomach growled. Harry blinked at her, and laughed. She smiled up at him and kissed his nipple playfully.
"I'm hungry."
"Me too," Harry said.
The two soon, and very reluctantly, got out of bed and into clothes the RoR provided with only a thought. Harry delayed dressing himself in order to watch Luna. She pulled on her skirt first, and then her stockings, both of which painted a wonderfully erotic picture. Next went on a bra in Ravenclaw blue and gold that pushed her breasts up, and then she dressed in a delicious, matching pair of panties that barely covered her as. Harry let out a small groan as Luna stood up and sighed, a small line of white leaking from between her legs. Luna noticed this herself, hummed, and picked up her wand. She looked it over, and then shrugged.
"I rather like the feeling… But it will get sticky," she said. Harry smiled.
"I'll clean it up for you…"
"Later Harry," she said gently. "We don't want to be late."
"We don't?"
After grabbing breakfast, Luna and Harry walked down the hallway on their way to their respective classes. Luna had a slight limp, and Harry was moving gingerly, but both had smiles on their faces. Luna was practically glowing. At long last, they reached Luna's classroom on an upper floor, and Harry prepared to head off. That is, until Luna got a hold of his tie.
"Ah…Luna?" Harry asked.
"I have to pick up a soreness relief potion at the Medical Wing today... Madam Pomphrey won't be there at 3. Would you like to come and help me take the potion?" She asked with a warm smile. Harry, no fool, immediately got the picture and grinned at her.
"Gladly!"
"Good." Luna tugged him into a kiss via his tie, a wonderful promise of things to come. Harry returned it, barely resisting the urge to restart their evening (and morning) activities.
"Mmfh..."
All too soon for Harry's like though, Luna let him go. "Goodbye..." She turned and headed into class, a bright blush on her cheeks. Harry smirked and continued on his way, adjusting his tie.
Luna entered the Charms classroom and sat down next to Ginny, scooting her chair up a bit. Her best friend looked her over and stared at her disheveled, glowing appearance.
"Bloody Hell, Luna! What happened to you?"
Luna raised a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "I suspect the Nargles."
And they all lived happily ever after… Except for Dumbledore, who was killed by Snape.
I can never resist putting a lot of plot into my porn, argh. Oh well. This lemon was inspired by an image entitled "The Nargles" done by the very talented jaggyd on Deviantart dot com. I suggest you check it out and comment on it, it's very good.
And now, an omake written with The Sage of Toads:
Hermione: Harry, I think we need to have a talk.
Harry: We do?
Hermione: It's really great you have a girlfriend and you're no longer so bottled up and raging so much... But we do have some concerns.
Harry: What is it?
Ron: I think she's talking about the fact you seem to be shagging Luna every day. Good on you mate!
Hermione: *DEATHGLARE* Ron, you're grounded.
Ron: Wha-? You can't ground me-!
Harry: I think she can.
Hermione: You're grounded! Go to your room!
Ron: You can't-But she can't-!
Hermione: *DEATHGLARE*
Ron: Y-Yes Hermione... *Hurries off*
Hermione: ... But yes. I am a little concerned about this. So much sex doesn't seem... Healthy.
Harry: Do you have sex every day?
Luna: It seems unlikely. Though I can't say for sure.
Hermione: ... Harry is Luna under your invisibility... Cloak...
Harry: Yes.
Hermione: ... *monotone* She's giving you head right now isn't she.
Harry: Yes. And it is amazing.
Hermione: *sighs* Well, at least you're not obsessing over Draco...
Harry: Yeah, this is much better than that.
Ron: How long do I have to stay in my room Hermione-?
Hermione: GET BACK IN THERE.
Ron: Yes ma'am!