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Vaccinations for the Homeless
by Alan Rickards | Apr 4, 2021 | News
A team from Urban Village Medical Practice has been outside Barnabus's Beacon Support Centre in their mobile vaccination unit to offer the COVID19 vaccine to people experiencing homelessness.
(Photo : © Barnabus)
Please Help To Tidy The Cemetery
If the COVID-19 restrictions have been eased by May, we will hold our first working party of the year to tidy the area around the memorials at the Knutsford Road Cemetery. From mid-May, 30 people will be allowed to meet outdoors and so we plan to work at the Cemetery on Saturday 22nd May from 9.30am until 11am.
If you are able to help you would be very welcome, no gardening experience is necessary. We will maintain social distancing, if this is still in place, to keep everybody safe. Please bring hand shears, weeding tools and something to kneel on.
If you feel unable to make it until later in the year, we completely understand.
I am really looking forward to a morning of gardening and chat.
Jayne Weaver
Churchwarden
Mobile: 0774 832 8032
Photos of some previous Working Parties
Have you heard the one about…….
by Alan Rickards | Apr 4, 2021 | Jokes
Guilty Teacher
A woman was found guilty in court for a motoring offence and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher.
The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He then smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not jump a red light' one hundred times."
Wet Floor
A police officer called the station on his radio. "I need back up here. The Vicar's wife shot her husband for stepping on the floor that she had just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet, Sarge. The floor's still wet!"
Divine Intervention?
A little boy was playing outside with his mother's broom in the garden.
That night his mother realised her broom was still missing and asked her son to go out and bring it in.
When the little boy confessed he was afraid of the dark, his mother tried to comfort him: 'The Lord is out there too, don't be afraid.'
Hesitantly, the little boy opened the back door and peered out.
He called softly: 'Lord, since you're out there already, please will you pass me the broom?'
Lot's wife
A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt.'
His son looked up, concerned. 'What happened to the flea?'
The nice thing about becoming forgetful is that you can hide your own Easter eggs
Double Booked
A mate has two tickets in a corporate box for England v Ireland on Saturday.
He didn't realise it was the same day as his wedding, so he is looking for someone to take his place.
It's at Chelsea Registry Office at 4pm. The bride's called Sarah, she is 5' 4", pretty and a really good cook!
I've bought myself some fancy new electric garden trimmers…
They're cutting-hedge technology!
I left my wife because she was obsessed with counting… I wonder what she's up to now?
I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when suddenly the guy on the triangle disappeared.
My wife said she's leaving because I'm obsessed with supermarkets… "Do you want any help with your packing?" I said.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once…
A four loaf cleaver!
Giving Thanks for our Vaccines
by Alan Rickards | Apr 4, 2021 | Christian Aid
HOLMES CHAPEL ECUMENICAL CHRISTIAN AID GROUP
Here in Holmes Chapel, as more of our family, friends, and neighbours receive their COVID vaccinations, we rejoice and are glad that our loved ones are protected. We give thanks for all the NHS staff and key workers who continue to save lives across the UK.
For the poorest and most vulnerable communities across the world, there is little hope of a vaccine rollout. These people already face a lack of water, food, and healthcare.
Christian Aid is already on the ground, helping keep people safe from coronavirus with practical support – but with your gift of thanks we can do more.
Have you or your loved ones had your vaccine?
Please give thanks with a donation to help protect our global neighbours while the vaccine is out of reach.
Our group in Holmes Chapel have set up an online giving page with Tap Simple on this link:
https://events.tapsimple.org/online/christian-aid/giving-thanks-for-our-vaccines-364b6
TapSimple is the online payment method preferred by Christian Aid Head Office, and whilst it has a small charge similar to Just Giving, the charge covers the cost of keeping the payment information safe and secure online under GDPR regulations.
If you are unable to download the link above, or have any queries or questions please speak to Caroline Wood on 01477 535746 who will be happy to discuss other ways to make a donation.
(Holmes Chapel Christian Aid Co-ordinator).
Thank you for taking the time to read this article in anticipation of your kind support for the very important work of Christian Aid.
Genesis Into Spring
by Alan Rickards | Apr 4, 2021 | Genesis
The usual summer term letter will be sent out after Easter, but meanwhile the dates and details for April are shown below:
4th April
Easter Sunday all age family worship.
Genesis Acts 4 verses 1-31. The bravery and power of Peter and John having been filled with the Holy Spirit.
All age family worship.
Genesis Acts 4 verses 32-35 and 5 verses 1-11. Ananias and Sapphira – planting honesty and trust will grow.
We shall remain on Zoom for our sessions at present using the usual ID and passcode. Please speak to any of the Genesis leaders if you are not already able to access Zoom.
Genesis runs from 9.45-10.15am every Sunday, except for the third Sunday in the month which is a family service at 10.30am.
Fiona Pullé, Jayne Cawood and Karen Cragg
The Genesis team
stlukesholmeschapel.uk
To go to our main website click here
This magazine is published for the PCC of the Ecclesiastical Parish of Church Hulme (Holmes Chapel), registered charity no. 1132587.
Unless otherwise stated, original photographs are the copyright of the Editor. Non-original articles are reproduced with permission, from either Parish Pump, Cartoon Church, the Association for Church Editors, or as otherwise attributed.
Please note that any opinions expressed in this magazine are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the positions of the Editor, Vicar or Parochial Church Council.