Jill Dillard on Distancing from the Duggars
Jill Dillard and Michelle Duggar, 2017
PEOPLE Magazine just released a story based on a recent interview they did with Jill Dillard. She discusses the conflict that she and Derick have had with the Duggars since making the decision to leave the show. You can read the story on the PEOPLE website. Jill will also be featured in this week's edition of the magazine, one newsstands Friday. The article states that both the Duggars and Dillards desire to restore their relationship, and we encourage you to pray for healing for both parties.
Labels: Duggars, Jill Dillard, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, michelle Duggar
I'm very disappointed Jill felt the need to publicize (and profit off) a disagreement she has with her family. It's not unreasonable that they left the show because it was interfering with their lives. Why make a big deal out of it?
I get the impression Jill hasn't gotten over the fact she's no longer on tv and she misses the attention and money.
In case you haven't noticed, lots of people have been asking Jill about the problems she's having with her family for ages.
Instead of pretending nothing is wrong like JB and Michelle, at least she's being open and honest. That is key in her healing process.
I commend her for speaking up. People deserve to know how manipulative and controlling the family is.
Why would you say that? I think it's very healthy that someone distances themselves from that very oppressive lifestyle. When everybody agrees on everything it's not a good sign.
I feel the other way - I'm glad Jill is speaking out and shedding some light on how much her parents control the kids even after they're married. It's about time someone told some truth.
I agree completely! Sad.
How terrible for her parents to ever put her - or any of their children - in this position at all. Making them feel a sense of obligation to sell their time and privacy for their father's financial gain, and then be ostracized by the family if they don't play along. No doubt the others are watching closely — a clear warning of what's to come if they too step out of line. Shameful.
Who made more money off their kids than the Duggars? Jill is much better off now
I agree with you, 1:12pm. I'm disappointed that Jill seems to be seeking "fame and fortune".
@1:12-how do you know it wasn't JimBob/Michelle who felt the need to publicize the disagreement with the Dillard's?
Jill's parents profited in part from Jill as with all the rest of her siblings. The tabloids talk about Jill even when it isn't an interview so she may as well make a profit off of it. The article also really doesn't reveal anything new.
But you have forgiven Josh.....
iiSwanSongii October 22, 2020 at 9:07 AM
I'm surprised that anyone wouldnt see the unreasonable way jim bob held the contract (aka kept the money) the show generated which was about the kids? It was their show, had their name on it, that should be their livelihood. Jill far from looks like the money hungry one here.
Well Jim bob put his family in the public eye for many years without most of his children's consent. What's wrong with Jill doing the same to her parents?
I agree with the original poster, except that I don't believe Jill misses being on TV. I think they have expressed that it was good for them to leave and they don't regret it.
Let's not forget that Jinger is living her own life as well and is not having relationship problems with her parents as far as we know. I don't believe that Jim Bob is really that controlling. It must have been mostly TLC that conflicted with what they wanted to do.
Oppresiive lifestyle??? I wonder how Jill's parents were oppressing her? She and her siblings gained so much from being on TV, trips, even new clothes at the beginning, I remember how kids shared that after they did a photoshoot they could keep the clothes for themselves. Like, Duggars were not wealthy. So if Jill grew up in a large family, with not much material wealth back then - that's not oppression, that's reality of a large family.
I feel sorry for Jill that she listens to her husband and give all these profitable interviews against her own family. In the end, Derick might suddenly pass away like his own dad, and where Jill will go?
Cgrist October 23, 2020 at 11:13 AM
If you read Dericks Instagram you will see that they received no money for the interview, so please don't assume.
At 5:27 pm, if Derrick passed away Jill will have her own children to keep her company, and friends and a church family and Derricks family to help her, and I'm sure Derrick would probably have life insurance for her to live on, plus she would get social security. She wouldn't have to run home to her parents. She is a grown woman.
4Me2Know October 25, 2020 at 9:29 AM
I have to agree. When one is so close to Jesus, intimately knows the Word, then at the very least, one would be loved to respond privately, NOT in a rumor mag. I feel Derick made inflammatory remarks that got him fired, and now JILL has taken his heat in a classic deflection. Not good on his part and not right on hers.
If you really listen to what Jill is saying....she wants a relationship with her parents and they want one with her. We do not know the full story of what happened, obviously something did. It's her story and I would rather hear it from her. If she got paid for the story in people...good for her. If her parents were underhanded in their financial dealings with their own children...shame on them. Jill's family is Derick, Israel and Sam.....she is being true to herself and her family.
Praying for these families to work things out
This situation is a perfect example of why children should not be put on tv
I am proud of Jill for doing what is best for her family and herself. We can love our parents but it's okay to draw healthy boundaries and to forge our own way in life.
Exactly. And also understanding that wearing pants isn't evil and stuff like that.
Drawing a healthy boundary doesn't usually include doing a huge expose in People magazine. Ridiculous. Victim mentality. They are profiting off of this in a huge way and throwing their family under the bus as though there was nothing good in their relationship with the Duggars. That is not Christian.
Agree - but they certainly aren't moving in that direction with this move - satan is very happy.
I completely agree!
I agree with you; but it when those truly healthy boundaries cause a split from your family, it's sad. I hope they can work it out; life and family are precious!
@4:00 I agree with you.
I am so proud of Jill. She and Derick are in counseling and working through her family issues. She is still a Christian, but is no longer following the over-controlling rules of Jim Bob and Michelle's religious views. Jill has always seemed like a kind person without a mean bone in her body, and I hope she and Derick set a good example of freedom to the rest of her siblings and more of them become independent too.
It is wrong for them to be doing this so publicly. The higher road would be to distance themselves and work on reconciliation out of the public eye. This is so dishonoring of her family, her parents and I'm not even a huge fan of the Duggars. It seems to me they have sold their soul - lots of money to air their grievance via People. Sad.
They are handling this terribly. Wait until their kids are in their 20's and discover that Jill and Derrick weren't the perfect parents. Should be handled privately.
I know that Jill is used to doing things publically. They have an Instagram account, a YouTube channel, a blog. They let us know intimate details of their lives. I am a little sad that if they wanted to do their family their way that they're continuing to be so public about things.
As children age you naturally lose some control over them. I don't think Jim Bob was prepared for this or saw it coming
Jill's dad was plenty public!
For all those condemning Jill for how she's handling this in the public eye -- HELLO -- this is how she was raised from a very young age. She didn't have a choice. Her parents thrust her into the public eye year after year as a minor child. I'm not saying what she's doing is right, but her parents set this all up.
Restore the relationship! That's not going to happen on the internet! It will need to happen in real life. I wish them all well, but some serious introspection and apologies need to happen on/from both "sides". Respect the feelings and needs of others should be front and center here. It takes humility and sincere desire to heal a broken relationship, prayer won't help much IMHO.
Prayer helps, that's humbling yourself before God to admit you need His help. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
Every public action is income to this family. Whether it's the Duggar or Dillard side. It's all about earning an easy buck.
I agree with the exception that genuine prayer from a right heart always helps.
I don't believe the Dillards have anything to apologize for. They quit the show in order to live their own lives and Jill's family took issue with that. It's the Duggars' problem, not the Dillards. They need to come to terms with the fact that they have no business dictating what the married kids do with their lives.
Oh yes prayer can! I know from personal experience!
Sure prayer helps. Pray for your heart to be right toward the other person, strength to forgive, wisdom for what words to use, for the other person. Prayer is intimate connection with God, who is able to empower His children to do difficult things.
I don't see Jim Bob and Michelle respecting the needs of others if the kids can't have their lives to themselves because of filming.
I don't think the Dillards need apologize. It's clear that JimBob has not respected their right to live their lives as they see fit and made his acceptance contingent upon participation in the show and following his rules.
9:19, we can't say if the Dillards need to apologize. Maybe they have done or said things we don't know about. Maybe not. We just don't have enough facts to know.
I question whether Derick really wants to restore the Dillards' relationship with the Duggar family. I can understand why the Dillards wanted to have greater control over their lives and finances. They are adults and shouldn't live under Jim Bob's authority. However, Derick's behavior has contributed greatly to the rift. He's made cryptic statements and public accusations against Jim Bob for years as well as saying he is going to write a book. Making personal matters public, even if you're in the right, doesn't help mend relationships.
I believe that Jill is open to rebuilding her relationship with her family. There are real issues that need to be addressed in the family and I think that the Jill has learned a lot about what healthy boundaries are over the past few years. I hope that Jill, her parents, and siblings can reach a point of healing. I also hope Derick doesn't stand in the way of their reconciliation.
Having been raised in a family with a very controlling mother, my experience is that you don't "restore" relationships with a control freak unless you do exactly what the controlling person demands. I don't see Derrick or Jill backing down from the stance they've taken so the relationship will not be "restored" but perhaps they can come to some sort of terms with the REST of the family leaving JB and Michlle on an island by themselves.
I think Derick has been put in a position of defending himself due to the rumors that he was fired from the show. If anyone is going to stand in the way of reconcilliation, I think it will be JimBob. He comes across as a "my way or the highway" kinda guy.
I agree. He is the one who contacted JB about being a prayer partner before he met Jill. Her father flew to Katmandu with her so they could meet. When they came back from their mission trip and needed a place to stay, her parents provided them with one. Derick has said that his wife isn't allowed in the family home without her parents being there. What is wrong with that? My parents were the same way. He has never had a job he could support his family with. He is in school again. I think you are right about him. He is going to make this difficult for her.
Derick owes nothing to Jim Bob. If anything, it's the other way around.
I think Jim Bob is at fault here for ever having put his family on TV in the first place. These so-called reality shows never end well for the key players. The latest from the Dillards about being controlled and that they had to get an attorney in order to recoup at least a small portion of what would have been their earnings, is beyond disturbing. It's clear JimBob has a strange need to be in control of even his adult children, which often happens in strict patriarchal families. I wish the Dillards well. While I don't agree with their religious views, I applaud them for standing up for themselves and taking their lives in hand.
Dericks public opinions certainly haven't help! His criticism of Jazz was particularly hurtful and judgmental. Being honest and outspoken is one thing; but needs to be said in a mature manner when posting on public forums.
@1:54 and 5:02 I completely agree with y'all
7:53- Derick may not owe anything to Jim Bob, but he does owe Jill the right to reconcile with her family. He shouldn't stand in the way of healing if that's what Jill actually wants. They can be honest and say they don't want a relationship with the Duggars.
Derick's comments on Jazz have nothing to do with this, as far as I know. He's entitled to voice his opinions. The trans community has to understand that not everyone is on board, and they need to learn to live with that. Just like I know not everyone is on board with the way I live my live, how I vote, my religion, etc.
At 5:02 pm, Derick HAS had a job supporting his family. He was an accountant for Walmart, and a missionary. He is going to school to become a LAWYER. That is a lofty goal, and he will be paid well for his profession
@11:28; the account position was years ago and the missionary position paid little if anything. Remember, they were always asking for financial help as missionaries. He's in law school now; but not working at the moment. Sure, if and when he passes the board is when he'll have a good income.
I read the full article and I'm blown away! "Our control to choose what jobs we were allowed to accept and even where we were allowed to live was taken away from us," Jill says, adding that goals they'd had as a couple were squashed if they conflicted with the network or family's plans.
Derick, who is now in his final year of law school, elaborates, "The first few years of our marriage, we spent time and money working towards opportunities only to hit a dead end when we'd be told, 'Well, you're not allowed to do that.'"
Is that godly parenting? When your kids are grown up and married, you have to trust that they will walk the right path for THEMSELVES! Mom and dad, your job is done, let them be who they truly are and choose the life they want!
Good for you lovely Jill, you are clearly happy with yourself and your guys, by standing for yourself, you lead by example.
I wish the rest of the adult Duggar offspring would take the SAME step Jill has. I don't see them as being on bad terms with anyone but JB who just can't cut the cord when the kids grow up.
Never good to handle differences in the public eye this way - shaming her parents. I doubt they want reconciliation. Strife should be handled privately and in a Christian manner if you claim to be a Christian.
Alberta Rose October 21, 2020 at 4:05 PM
That has nothing to do with Jim Bob. It has everything to do with the restrictions due to the show. Believe it or not, there are some restrictions for those who do Discovery's "Gold Rush" and "Highway Thru Hell". Also TLC's "Say Yes To The Dress" and "Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta".
1:55PM: I think JB & Michelle have learned from this experience with Jill that they cannot control where their married adult children choose to live, because they seem ok with Jinger and Jeremy in LA. Before Jill's dispute with the amount of control over where to work, where to live, LA wouldn't have been allowed I'm sure. So Jill has made it easier for her siblings. That's a good sign!
I highly doubt J and Jer are crediting Jill for the freedom to live where they want.
I don't think families should air their "dirty laundry" to the general public but in this case I can't say as I blame Jill for trying to set the record straight. I'm glad they're functioning as an independent family, unlike the rest of the clan.
Agreed. Jill didn't have a choice to have her life aired on tv as a young teen, and then for the world to hear about being molested by her brother because her parents didn't protect their other children. She has every right to say whatever she likes not, especially when people continue to bash and blame her for no longer associating as closely with her family when it's Jim Bob's fault.
Yes, good for Jill to set the record straight. It's just too bad there is a "record" to set straight! It had to take tremendous strength on her part to stand up against her parents for what she believes is right!
I agree. In my opinion this family has had a lot of negative publicity. Separate fine but why make things worst for the rest of the Duggars. it's sad to see. I hope Jill gets something out of hurting Jim Bob and Michelle like this, may be it is worth it for her.
Neddy Constant October 22, 2020 at 9:46 AM
Time 10:45AM Thurs 10/22/20
Unlike the rest of the clan? How do
U know they dont function. Do u know them? No u dont. That comment u made
Towards the end very rude. God could
Judge not u.
Can we have just one post from Neddy sometime where she isn't calling someone rude?
Neddy Constant October 22, 2020 at 5:03 PM
Time 6:03PM Thurs 10/23/20
EXCUSE U? I HAVE A RIGHT TO WRITE THE WORD RUDE IF I WANT TO I ONLY WRITE
IT IF THE COMMENT IS RUDE.
Neddy please let's try to be . I think it would be appreciated. Not everybody is RUDE!. Rosealeigh new reader and commenter
Neddy, you need to understand that people are entitled to their own opinions. I don't see anyone being rude here, except you calling people rude. It's not "rude" to have a different point of view.
I miss the old Neddy comments when she would speak about her day.
Neddy Constant October 23, 2020 at 11:50 PM
Time 12:50AM Sat 10/24/20
I still do But I only say its rude
If the comment is rude.
Neddy we are here to voice a opinion . Not to hurt other commenter's feelings. Please just relax. Again new reader Rosealeigh
I'm glad that Jill set the record straight. I never thought she (or Derrick for that matter) really wanted to be at odds with the rest of the family. However, JB just can't relinquish control over his offspring. I wish the rest of the adult children in the Duggar family had the courage to strike out and make lives for themselves rather than "working in the family business".
The Duggars only want to restore the relationship with Jill and Derick so they can be in total control of them again! I'm on Jill and Derick's side in this argument. Eileen
I give the Dillards credit for standing up for themselves. Having a healthy relationship with your parents as an adult should not be contingent upon being under their authority and following their particular game-plan for your life. I guess some religious groups think that it should be. The longer the Duggars are on TV, the more wary I am of their belief system.
Those of you who claimed that TLC "fired" Derick for something he said and then you got up in arms about that, are you ready to admit that you were terribly mistaken?
Nope.....I believe it may have been a mutual decision....his comments about another TLC star and homophobic statements were certainly part of the end of their filming.
I think this is so wrong how they are doing this and now are profiting from this strife. I have only followed the Duggars from a distance - as a Christian I don't agree with them completely but appreciate their freedom to do so. I think they have been loving parents overall and have done very well for their children. This is so dishonoring - so NOT Christian to handle things this way. Very sad - this will only lead to more destruction.
Sounds like great content for a new show for the Dillards, "Moving On!"
I like Jill and I'm proud of her speaking out. It's a shame when families, whether by intentional or unintentional actions, put a limit on what a person can do.
You have to live your life your own way, otherwise what is the point.
She is speaking out against her family who did nothing but was helpful. And she is not just speaking out, she is doing paid interviews with People magazine, to earn some money, most probably by the direction of her husband who is not making any.
Praying for them. It makes me sad. Jill came from such a loving family. They are all Christians, so I would think they could work things out and forgive.
I'm going to pray for them, too, that God will be honored as this is all worked out.
I feel greatly sorry for this girl. Her husband's relentless comments and publicity seeking have caused a fracture that will be difficult to mend. The telling-our-side-of-the-story has gone on over and over for too long to anybody who will listen for money and attention. They left the show. It's wasn't the right choice for them. Who cares? Grow up! People change jobs when they need to. Airing dirty laundry and forgetting your own comments have contributed to your personal circumstances is foolish. I wouldn't hire Derick as an attorney. He can't keep his mouth shut and he doesn't know when to stop fighting and close arguments. He has hurt his wife and children with this attention seeking and money grabbing. Jill, make your own choices. You are an adult. Your family has moved on. They don't talk about you and Derick. Time for Derick to get a job and you both to move on. If you're really that comfortable with your own choices, you wouldn't be on the cover of People and anything else throwing your family under the bus and declaring independence all the time.
Jill has made her choice whether you agree with it or not. I'm sure it was not an easy one for her, but it is HER choice.
It's not time for Derick to "get a job." He's in law school. He's doing what he should be doing.
BEST COMMENT IN THE BUNCH!💕
Anybody remember how derick sought Jim bob out as a prayer partner and then pursued his daughter? Surely Derick was quite interested in the show and attention that went with it. It seems he has never recovered from losing the cameras. It is my guess after the Jazz Jennings comments he made and some big financial demands that TLC wouldn't hire them back and all of this is a bunch of smoke. Poor Jim Bob. Bet he watches very closely who he next let's court his daughters. The other girls have so far made easier choices. Hopefully Jill remembers to listen to her own spirit because her husband is not the world's greatest leader of sorts. Take control honey. I don't care if you drink or take brith control. Those are your choices. But publicly speaking poorly of your family isn't a good look in anyone's book and you weren't raised that way.
Agreed! Jim Bob was supporting Derick when Derick contacted him after his father's death, Jim Bob did everything for his daughter to live well, great wedding, huge house full of furniture, car... I remember watching how several family members visited Jill and Derick in Honduras (or Guatemala?) and Joy stayed there with Israel for weeks, and Jim Bob installed an AC on their house. Like, the family was helping Jill a lot. I assume they also gave them money for the new house they built now. And I think Jill is just like directed bu Derick to do those paid interviews with People etc. All about money for Derick!
And totally agree that Jim Bob now will be checking twice before marrying off his other daughters. Or maybe just first pancake got burnt. Jessa, Jinger, Joy - they all seem to have great loving relationship with their family.
Poor Jim Bob? It is wrong for any father to have so much control over his adult children that he is choosing and approving their spouses. Jim Bob needs to let them go to support themselves, live their own lives, make their own choices and even their own mistakes. You know, because they are ADULTS.
I didn't think that they "quit" the show. I thought they got kicked off by TLC because of Derick's comments about Jazz being abused at the hands of TLC.
I read the article and there are a few quotes from the Dillards and Duggars. It struck me forcibly, however, that the context of those quotes is provided by whoever wrote the People article. That's suspect.
They were not kicked off the show.
They quit long before that-- we just didn't find out about it until around the time of the Jazz incident and that is why the two events have been connected. This has been repeated so many times that people think that is the way it all happened. Maybe when Derick's book comes out the details can be set straight finally.
Guys, please help me out. I have been following the Duggars almost from their first TV special. I have defended them from what I saw as stupid or petty criticism and will continue to do so. When I was a teenager, my mom and I used to watch 19 Kids and Counting every week. It was my favorite show, and I especially looked up to the older girls (I am a few months younger than Jinger). The show has had a huge, lasting impact on my life. Their openness about Josie's premature birth and subsequent NICU journey had such an impact on me that I perused a bachelors in nursing and am now a NICU nurse. For that I am very grateful, and I love my job!
This whole business with Jill has left me greatly troubled though. Jim Bob's behavior in particular has seemed shady. He has never been my favorite person on the show, but that was only because I've never found his jokes particularly funny, not because I believed he is a bad guy. His behavior towards Jill, though, has surprised me. The Dillard's only apparent crime is to leave the show. Jill wears pants now, but so does Jinger (and please no one create drama there when we have no evidence of any) The Bible talks about people with nose rings, so I can't see why that would be an issue. They've said they occasionally drink alcohol, but again so did people in the Bible. The Bible calls drunkenness a sin, not alcohol itself. Just like money is not evil in itself.
I used to get upset at Derick when he would comment on something. I saw it as needlessly stirring the pot. Now I see him as a man who is angry that his wife has been hurt and is defending her. Friends, I want to stay a fan of this family as a whole. Please help me make sense of this!
Every family, even good families, have problems with each other sometimes or do wrong things and say wrong things. The Duggars, just like everyone else, are sinners. They are the first to say so! I respect them too and still do even though from what we know (we don't know everything), I can respect Jill and Derrick's decision too.
I don't know if we can make sense of this without knowing the whole story from either side. That's kind of why I wish this wasn't all a public matter, because we aren't going to know all the details, so all we're left with is a whole lot of opinions. I guess all we can do is pray for a good reconciliation and hope for the best.
I have to say that I don't recall Jim Bob or Michelle ever saying a negative word publically about any of their children or children-in-law. The Bible says that if you have a problem with someone to go to that person. There is no where that says to put in on the news and spread gossip about your family. We don't have all of the facts and only hear a little bit of one side of the story. We can only judge what we can see which is Jill and Derrick have chosen to go against what they say they believe. The Bible says to live peacefully with all men as much as possible. How will talking bad about Jill's family help them to live peaceably or reconcile?
Sarah, maybe it's time to look at the "reality" of this reality-TV family? I actually enjoy the show and the family members, but over time I have realized that their lifestyle is flawed. For example, I think the only reason Jana is still living at home at age 30 is because of the over-controlling religion the Duggars practice. To me, her situation illustrates the failure of their belief system and I feel so bad for her limited life. I also feel bad about the lack of education and opportunities for all of the other kids too. You can still like the family and the show but it may be time to take them off the pedestal.
Anon 2:58. The Bible also tells us to live a quiet (private) life and warns about being busybodies in and out of others homes which is the very thing reality tv does, produces busybodies, and so being on a reality show and opening up your kids and parents to the prying eyes of the public is contrary to what the Lord wanted for them and their children. If you raise and train your child to be a tv personality, inviting the public in to your business then it only stands to reason that it will be that exact avenue your now adult kids will use.
2:26, your comment is one of the most sensible I've seen so far!
Regina October 21, 2020 at 6:06 PM
Thank you Lily and Ellie for posting this and yes I will be praying. As a matter of fact after I send this comment, I will put their names on my prayer wall as a reminder to pray daily for them.🙏
What a coincidence,I was actually reading that article earlier before the news broke on this blog,but I wasn't sure wether to believe it as the rumors have been circulating a while and then Jill was at Joy's baby shower standing next to her mom and the family left birthday gifts outside Jill's house on Israel's birthday,I'm guessing they fell out because a lot of the things they are doing now ie enrolling their kids in public school,using contraception, drinking alcohol were all things that they discussed when they were courting and mom and dad were listening in and obviously they were saying everything to Jim Bobs liking otherwise he would not have approved and now that they have married they are doing just the opposite to what they promised,I reckon for the parents that would be seen as deceitful,but I don't understand,if they wanted Jill to have lots of kids be a stay at home mom and homeschool them,why did they allow her to get a qualification as a doula,Jill obviously stopped at two kids and is sending them to public school because she and hubby want to concentrate on their upcoming careers.
Actually they have said they want more kids.
Of course grown and married children should be in complete control of their own households, and parents should only give advice and counsel when invited to do so. That said, it is still quite sad to do such a story for People magazine. I have a bit of a large family, all siblings married and with their own households. And it is precisely because we are close-knit and love each other there are always problems that come up that must be worked out. I cannot imagine if family members put it on social media or in a magazine. Hope they can work it out. Strong loving families are crucial for society.
From first hand experience, I know how one family member's constant posting of one-sided issues on social media can cause a major rift in the family dynamics. Speaking to one another privately, openly, and honestly is the best way to handle a disagreement. One person calling out another person on social media without all the details of both sides being represented truthfully is unfair passive aggressive behavior that doesn't get anything solved. It leads to assumptions, speculations, and discord.
Your title makes it sound like it's all Jill. How about distancing from each other??
Suz October 21, 2020 at 7:26 PM
I do hope Jill and her family reconcile, I'm sure they will.
Interesting. This leads me to believe there are a lot of other issues in this family that aren't known to the public.
Well, yes? That is true of EVERYONE.
I'm kind of confused with the Duggar's. Jill and Derick are in a loving healthy marriage, it's not like they're doing drugs and being horrible people. Geez, I understand the Duggar's have high standards, but Jill is a grown woman with a family of her own now! It must be hard having your family look down on you like that. And Jill and Derick aren't even doing anything wrong! But then again, who knows
I think Jill is such a good person and you can tell that she has such a compassionate heart. I know where ever her journey in life takes her and with a servants heart like hers that God will be blessing her life for sure.
If she had a compassionate heart, she would be able to feel how hurt her parents are right now and other siblings.
You can understand how someone feels hurt, but that doesn't mean you change your life and bend to what they want in order to make them happy. Sometimes the hurt person is the one who needs to wake up and change!
Amy2 October 21, 2020 at 9:24 PM
There's no expiration date on honoring your parents. That doesn't mean they run your life once you're married, but discussing the issues on line and with a national magazine shows poor judgement. "So long as it depends on you, live at peace with all men." Try living biblically on ALL fronts, not just the easy ones. Godspeed all.
Honoring your parents means treating them with courtesy and respect. However, in this case the REST of the Duggar family has made it clear that Jill and Derrick are in bad odor with JB. This whole thing is playing out on the public stage so what do you expect Jill to do? Remain silent while it's clear she and her husband are not welcome in the "big house"?
Honoring your parents means treating them with courtesy and respect, not being doormats. This whole rift has played out on the public stage, fueled by the TV show so what else did you expect Jill to do?
I can't wait for this book to come out. Although Derick is not my favorite flavor, I think we will learn a lot. I will be more than happy to give them my money, everybody deserves to be paid for their honest work.
@9:26 I'm not sure I could believe everything written by Derrick. As others have pointed out, he's pursued this family from the beginning. Maybe there are some things about him we don't know? He seems really discontent with life in general, not able to stay at a job or pick a career. He seems to be all about the easy money.
The fact that he is writing a tell all about people who have helped him as much as her parents have says a lot about Derick. And the fact that Jill is alright with it makes me think that she isn't as sweet and wonderful as she has people believing.
@12;46 YES!
I sincerely hope that Jill's newfound independence will encourage the younger siblings to not be afraid to forge their own paths in life. It seems that the Duggars have used fear of the secular world to control and sequester their kids. The message that women are to keep having as many kids as possible is also a form of oppression. It's a sad state of affairs when parents try to control their adult kids to the extent that JimBob does. This isn't a Christ-like example.
Stitcher October 21, 2020 at 10:51 PM
Haven't read the article yet...does it say Who put these limitations on Jill and Derick? The network? Her parents?
Maybe read it. Sheesh.
Yeah, I read it...still don't think I'm clear on who exactly put the limitations on Jill and Derick, the network or the family? Not trying to be dumb; I guess I was expecting more specifics. Sorry to offend, Anon @ 12:30pm
Anoniem October 22, 2020 at 2:03 AM
Even though I don't know Jill personally, I'm so proud of her. It takes a lot to break away from what you know and reflect, go to therapy and find your own way in life, knowing your family won't be okay with that. Her statements reflect her growth and personal healing and I wish her all the best. I hope Jill knows a lot of people have her back!
I am impressed, with the courage Jill has shown as she stands up, and makes the best decisions, for herself, Derick, Israel and Samuel.
It's so wonderful that Jill is finally setting those boundaries! I am so glad that Jill is setting the record straight to the public, being honest and transparent. Honesty and transparency isn't what comes naturally to her parents, sadly.
Sometimes you have to cut family off it they're doing nothing but causing you pain. It doesn't matter if your names are the same. The ones who hurt you most are the ones closest to you, and they can wreck your life if you let them.
I don't think they're doing nothing but causing pain. I think they're conflicted because they love each other but are maybe not handling things right.
That is so true!
The only way there can be reconciliation is for Jim Bob to do what's right, and that means putting family FIRST and stopping all the TV nonsense. His show and the income it creates seem more important to him than his family. If the kids aren't allowed to go where they want or do what they want because of filming, and if they're not getting paid unless they talk to a lawyer about it, then parental priorities are wrong. I'm glad Jill and Derick stood up for themselves and broke off. I feel sorry for the rest of the kids who are still dutifully doing whatever Dad and/or TLC tells them to do. Life's too short to let someone else control it like that.
Right!!
Why protect Josh who has done terrible things. And not Jill, who has done nothing wrong.
Well, the fact that we have not seen Jim Bob and Michelle issue a reliable denial (family or not) for this means that they aren't 100% innocent of the accusations, in my opinion.
Prince harry and Meghan Markle of the Duggar family.
Just Prince Harry is very wealthy, and Derick does not come from any money, so now he is upset that his hopes to marry into rich TV family were cut short.
justinekessner4gmail.com October 23, 2020 at 4:19 AM
NO P/M,are being selfish, and Jill + Derick want some control into their life!!!!! But, P/M have all the freedoms, they are wanting their cake and eat it too, but Jill just wants the cake!!!!! I love U 4!!!!
Good for Jill. I wonder when her siblings will start sticking up for themselves.
Absolutely not. Jill still has a relationship with siblings unlike Harry who has been completely cut off from his family. Meghan is operating like the malignant narcissist she is. Derrick isn't as as damaged (destructive) as she is.
I like the transparency. So many are turned away from Jesus because church leaders pretend to be perfect, setting an unreasonable, unattainable and faux standard of perfection. Talking about struggles tells of a real, practical faith that, to me, transcends the always smiling faces, perfect path following, baby making and weddings we see from the Duggars. The Duggars squander their opportunity to show love and the struggles we all have with following the way of Jesus. But the Dillard's just may do everyone a favor and talk about the grit.
Agreed. Well said. There is so much more to family life than family game nights and baby showers. I wish for more transparency to give an authentic view of Christian family life...the ups, the downs, the conflicts, and resolutions...All of it happens in every family and all of it can honor God!
4Me2Know October 25, 2020 at 10:00 AM
But that wouldn't be "the show." This is TLC's baby, scripted with stupid activities and outings (remember 19KC fhe ostridge farm and Ben and Jessa and the playground arms tied activity? NO WAY was this reality.). So we WON'T see more real life. It's a SHOW.
Jim Bob and Michelle can't have it both ways. They've made a huge amount of money off of "Look how close our family is" (with them saying "humbly" but "We're not perfect."). They're more than happy to share all of those happy family images (while being monetarily compensated). But they're somehow not nearly as willing to share the unhappy or unpleasant (Josh, now Jill). Please don't argue that family matters shouldn't be shared-these are the people that are happy to share what makes them look good and profit from it. That's flat deceptive. Only sharing the good and hiding/silencing/"canceling" the bad is like figuratively saying there isn't anything bad. When it's publicly obvious bad things are going on within the family, it's a form of lying. It also evidences a serious need to control the story/the brand. That's flat deceptive. It's like cleaning the outside of the cup, while the inside is still dirty (Luke 11:39). From the outside, it looks beautiful...but there's hidden sin.
Debbie October 22, 2020 at 2:14 PM
Family division is so hard to deal with. I think it's a pretty common problem, too. Personally, though, I have much more enjoyed following some of the Duggars through their own personal YouTube channels, such as Jill, Jessa and Joy, than I have watching "Counting On." I do hope the Dillards and Duggars can reconcile, but I do understand, as the parent of now-adult kids, that sometimes they choose their own way from the way they were raised, and we parents have to respect that, even sometimes when it hurts a little or we disagree.
I understand that Derick does not work and the family needs money, so Jill goes to People to do a paid interview to subsidize their family expenses. But bashing her own family who was taking care of her through all the years is not something I consider to be nice.
I am by no means a Derick fan but it is laughable to criticize the Dillards for doing a laid magazine interview when her father has spent the last 10+ years exploiting his own children to line his pocket.
Excuse you. Her point at no point in ten years publicly shamed their other family members for profit. In fact, they were loving to Amy who led a different lifestyle. This thing Jill has done and is doing is a whole different animal. There's nothing wrong with being in the public eye, but making money off tell-alls hurting her family is disgraceful. Is the end-game that the show goes off the air and her whole family suffers for it just because it didn't work for her and her husband? If they feel they are owed all this money, maybe Derick and Jill owe JB some back rent on the homes they were in and the trips and doula school and large wedding? Being on tv had some perks and they were complicit. Grow up kids. No family or childhood is perfect. I think most people can agree being in the Duggar family is a privilege and a blessing. Many many people have less opportunity and love. Maybe she'll figure this out when she runs out of "information" on her family issues and has to swim in the wild water with us normal people.
Many of us helped out the family business growing up because we were a part of the family into and wanted to succeed together. Maybe we should all sue for exploitation huh? This show isn't and wasn't "Friends." There's some money there but with two parents and 19 children and a grandmother and cousins and courtships, that a lot of paychecks girlfriend. I don't think Jim Bob cheated you and your husband out of millions. You were a limited part of the show in the early days. You were paid for Counting On. Your large family had more opportunity for travel and exciting experiences than almost anyone in Arkansas. Greedy and immature are the words that come to mind.
Why are you complaining about Jill? The REST of this family has been giving paid interviews to pay for their lives for years.
First off u have no proof of JB
Exploiting his kids. No proof. God knows the truth. & 2nd the reason
Why u believe JB exploiting kids
Of what Deerick said. That is Derrick
Words. U dont know JB Neither do I
But there is no proof of JB doing that.
2:43 -- Agreed. And Jill is right to "leave and cleave," as the Bible directs.
2:43PM: These 19 children would not have much if the family was not on TV. They were not exploited. They liked traveling, getting new clothes and living in a bigger house. They were just a large family from AR, and if not for the show their memorable trips would be to a local Aldi for grocery shopping.
But when did Jim Bob ever do a segment to bring attention to the faults of one of his children? Not sure if that's Derick's purpose, hopefully not, but having a reality TV show with your children in it (like the Busbys, Kate plus 8, the Bates, and others) is not a comparison to purposefully going to a magazine to air dirty laundry.
@2:39- I wonder if Jill ever thought of getting a job to help with her family's expenses???
@7:42 Every now and then you'll see her promote a product with a "Jill" discount code which is probably helping.
@3:42- The money aside, do you think it's ok for parents to dictate to their adult children how to live their lives? It sounds like the Dillards made the right call by leaving the show. Considering they were being told what they could and couldn't do, they had good reason.
3:35 I do not believe being a Duggar is a blessing, for the simple reason that I appreciated my own parents for not trying to control everything I did. They encouraged me to get an education and experience independence before getting married. I wasn't sheltered in a bubble away from the world. They trusted me to make good decisions and learn from my mistakes.
@3:35. You have no idea what it was like growing up a Duggar. Their show portrays them only from one perspective. We do know there were serious problems with the oldest son. I wouldn't have wanted to be a daughter growing up in that environment.
@3:54 The Dillard's have been quite tactful through all this. They simply stated why they left the show and that it didn't go over well with others. They hired a lawyer to get their money. Not once have they even mentioned Jim Bob's name or made accusations against any particular person. They've been clear about the family relationship has suffered.
@12:50 Is it worth it to sacrifice your privacy and autonomy for new clothes, a bigger house and a few travel perks? I thought this family wasn't about material things, but being humble servants of Christ, at least that's the image they initially promoted.
anon@3:35 I disagree that "most people" wish they had a life like the Duggars. I certainly don't. I feel sorry for the kids, having grown up with such controlling parents that can't seem to let go once they're adults. I think this show has a following, more or less due to curiosity and fascination with watching the outrageous. That's appeal of most reality shows.
Totally agree with 5:43 and 5:52!
Thank you to the blog owners for posting this from Jill and Derick. I am so glad Jill has spoken up and is not fearfully hiding the reality of her family issues in order to present a certain image to the public. I hope she and Derick move on to a happy life. It is interesting that Jim Bob and Michelle are saying very little, except for a few saintly words about praying for reconciliation. The rest of the family knows the truth-- I wonder if any others will be willing to speak up too?
For every one saying Jill should have not made this public- have you forgotten what jills childhood was like? The Duggar's were NOT the perfect parents. We all know what horrors happened in that house...... light needs to be shed on that topic so other children won't be hurt and those who have can get the help they need
Go Jill! Pray for you.
I actually would be hoping that other siblings, Jessa for example, would step in and say that they love and respect their parents, and that they are thankful to them for so many things, and that their parents have been helping them in their lives etc. LIke, why Ben (Jessa's husband) is not starting claiming some money and sue his in-laws? Because he is a nice person with good values.
It is neither nice nor a demonstration of good values to exploit your offspring for money from childhood through adulthood. Decent parents work to provide for their families, rather than expect their kids to line their pockets.
Although I generally would agree that it's best to keep family disagreements private, sometimes there is a benefit to shedding light and truth on a subject. It could help make the "guilty" party become honest about the situation and be held accountable 🙏🏻
What a sad situation. Samuel and Israel hopefully can have a relationship with their little cousins. Hopefully Jill can reunite with her siblings. It is unfortunate situation. it looks like there is plenty blame on both sides. Prayers for a healing for these families. God Bless.
Thank you Joan, Marion, and Marilyn, for reminding us that there is plenty of blame on both sides. When you get right down to negative family dynamics, there usually is plenty of blame to go around - not always, but most often.
Dear Jill, Derick, Michelle Jim Bob & extended families, I pray the families would become whole again very soon❣️ I would really like to see Jill, Derick & there kids back on counting on permently. I love watching the show. Natasha b
I am proud of Jill!! And am thankful that she and Derrick stood up for themselves. Jill looks so happy in the people magazine picture, and it makes me smile. Keep being you, Jill!! So many of us are rooting for you!!!
I agree. I wish some of the others would start moving on and making their own path in life. That doesn't mean you have to be estranged from your family, but that you can make your own decisions without fear of being unwelcome in your parent's home.
Glad to see Jill and her family being happy. It's ashamed that Jim Bob and Michelle are like this with their children....I wonder how Jinger and Jeremy could have moved from TX to LA? Was that their plan or Jim Bob and Michelle's? And the adult children that are married, should not follow Jim Bob and Michelle's way of life, but their own....
I think it was the Vuolos' decision to move from Laredo to LA. They wouldn't be living outside of Arkansas if Jim Bob and Michelle had any real control over them. The Vuolos talked about having a five year plan on CO shortly after they got married. Jeremy took Master's Seminary online classes while in Laredo. The move to LA allowed Jeremy to complete seminary coursework in person and was just another step in their plan.
They moved to LA so Jeremy could attend that seminary. Another step on his way to becoming a famous and powerful preacher. I'm sure Jim Bob approves of aspirations like that. Whether or not he did any nudging or pulled any strings, who knows. They have willingly let the cameras follow them and someone is taking professionally shot pictures of them to post.
I pray that the Dillard's and the Duggar's heal quickly and move on. I pray that year 2021 will be a good year for all of them. Jane
Julia K. October 23, 2020 at 5:35 PM
I think both the Dillards and the Duggars have shown admirable tact when discussing their falling-out publicly. Even when they're saying they're at odds, their words are kind. Can you imagine how other reality TV stars would handle drama like this?
I don't know what they've done or expressed to each other in private. My gut feeling is that the Dillards' complaints are reasonable, but there is probably a lot of background we don't know. And that's fine.
Given that there were a lot of public rumors, and given that the Duggars and Dillards are public figures who frequently do interviews like this, I think that a mild-mannered attempt to set the record straight about some of the issues, and a generous and not passive-aggressive refocusing on the desire to reconcile, was appropriate and well executed.
So, good for them. I wish more public drama were handled like this. I hope their private talks happen with an appropriately deeper level of openness and airing of their feelings, but there's no need to do that publicly, and no reason for us to expect it. I think what the public got was fine.
I see things from both perspectives... when the kids were all under 18, Jim Bob & Michelle worked hard to provide for all of them and they appeared to be doing a good job. Then when the show went big, I imagine a lot of the income came from the show and the kids got to enjoy the benefits of their parents continuing the show. Once the kids became adults, TLC should have renegotiated contracts with the adult children. However, there would have been no show, no big houses and endless supply of food/cars etc. if it weren't for Jim Bob and Michelle managing the income coming in from the show. Jim Bob, being the father and husband of the house, had every right to allocate the income from the show the way he saw fit. Most parents do not come home and ask their kids how they should spend all the money the parents just made at work that day. The kids were not exploited. They got to enjoy a ton of things many adults never get to do in a lifetime. I understand Jill wanting some kind of compensation once she hit 18 but her parents could have kicked her out at 18 and had her take care of and provide for herself... but they didn't. They continued providing for their adult daughter long after they legally had to. Sometimes people feel so entitled to certain things they forget how much they owe others for taking care of and investing into them. And no one needs to know all of the details of this stuff. This is family baggage that should remain behind closed doors to be dealt with as a family. No good will come of airing these issues out to the public.
There was a little more in printed article. She still shares some of the family's toxic views. She said "as far as our views on the LGBTQ+ community, we do hold to our faith that that lifestyle is not condoned".
Now, I don't know this family personally, but have watched them from the beginning, and it has never been my impression that Jim Bob is over-controlling. Without knowing the family personally, I think it would be hard to say. Maybe he is, but he has not given me that impression. He comes across as a truly nice guy, and a good husband and father.
Penelope October 23, 2020 at 9:18 PM
Praying! 🙏🏻
If the Dillards truly want to mend things then they should be plastering their family issues all over magazines and the internet. Family issues should be kept private.
Saskia October 24, 2020 at 5:13 AM
Every grown adult should make their own decisions in life. Jill and Derrick are doing that. If JB didnt want things out and open in public he should have raised his kids in private too. JB has no right to tell his adult children what they are allowed to do and what not. Good for Jill that she wants to be independent.
Derick is in his final year of law school! That is a great accomplishment! Their family is really functioning well! In the future there will be much more good productivity from this house hold. They provide good role modelling and it is nice they share their story. As well the Duggar house is a fantastic place and all of the enthusiasm there means it is a place the family loves!
I believe this girl will end up deeply regretting these choices. Very difficult to explain to your children later why you decided to publicly humiliate the family for fame and money. "Setting the record straight" isn't really the situation here. JB and Michelle have said absolutely nothing to discredit Jill or her family's choices. Nay, they have met every attack with love. TLC has done nothing publicly but say they no longer film with them. I'm not really sure what public explanation Jill feels she needs to make beyond seeking money and fame at a heavy price. Man, many many children would've felt very blessed growing up in that family and her children are missing out on lots of love and fun. Nobody's perfect and family businesses are always tricky, but come on Jill. Thought you were better than this. I'd never to anything to hurt my family trying to elevate myself. It's not right.
To those fretting about the Dillard's getting paid for the People interview, take it easy. Derick has stated on social media that they were not compensated at all.
This situation makes clear the risks involved with putting your family on a TV show, especially for such an extended period of time. It stands to reason that as the Duggar kids become adults, there's bound to be at least a few that decide for themselves how to live their lives and don't care to follow the same trajectory as the parents. Family conflicts are inevitable and it's a shame that it becomes public, although I don't blame Jill and Derick for wanting to set the record straight about some things. There was a lot of rumor about why they quit the show in the first place and now some people think they're getting paid for the People article. Derick has stated that they are not. The responsible thing to do moving forward is end the contract with TLC and stop putting the family in a postion for public scrutiny. This is especially important for the minor kids. For many of them, having a camera crew around is what they've always known and I find that unnatural and sad. They deserve privacy.
This is a quote from Jill in the article mentioned above...
"I never expected this to happen or for it to get to this point," Jill says. "But I'm realizing I can't put a timeline on healing. I love my family and they love me. I really just have to follow God's lead and take it one day at a time."
She loves her family and she knows they love her......enough said.
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