Critical Fatherhood Skills
12/02/2020 /0 Comments/in General, Podcast, Thursday Throwdown /by Christa Wojciechowski
You do not have to be a victim of you past. You can learn to pivot and become stronger. Today's guest proves it.
Everyday dad and Dad Edge Alliance member Christopher Wilson grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father. He never knew what a normal, healthy family was supposed to look like.
Now he is a husband and a father and works for the inspirational fitness community, Critical Bench. Chris shares what he learned from his difficult childhood, how he deals with his own patience and anger issues, and the critical fatherhood skills he uses to make sure his home is a happy one for his wife and kids.
Chris Wilson, BS, CPT, SSN has worked in the fitness industry for 20 years. He began as a personal trainer at World's Gym after college in 1998 working with clients face to face. After managing a fitness center for years, he wanted to reach more people and has continued his coaching helping people all over the world sharing his passion and enthusiasm for fitness, strength and health.
Abuse is a form of attention that children can learn to crave
How Chris got over anger and patience issues
Kids need to be part of something. Connection can help teens get through a rough life.
How Chris got through the why me victim moments
Even when Chris thought his dad didn't love him, he knew God loved him and that got him through.
What Chris has learned about marriage.
Spouses become roommates when everything is about the kids.
As a man, be a sounding board for you wife. Women want to be heard.
If you don't listen to you wife, she feels you don't care.
Your wife needs you to show up at random moments.
When a woman's unspoken needs are not fulfilled, she will reach a breaking point.
The importance of praise. Show your appreciation for all the little things.
How to stop taking things so personally in life
What to do about your inner bully
Don't be too good to apologize to your kids.
Praise your kids for owning up to mistakes.
Wild at Heart with John Eldredge
Dad Edge Alliance Q&A: The Modern Revolution of the Masculine Heart with John Eldredge
Our biggest regrets in life happen
when we've lost our patience.
Stop Reacting and Start Living
Do the work. Make a plan. Follow along with simple, yet powerful exercises and tap into the patience that is within you.
Get the Patience eCourse
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Create an action plan to help you thrive in life and build the legacy you want.
Chris Wilson's Links
youtube.com/user/Criticalbench/
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How to Become a Patient Father in 37 Minutes
10/21/2020 /0 Comments/in Podcast, Thursday Throwdown /by Christa Wojciechowski
Today we talk about how to become a patient father.
The Dad Edge started on one of the worst nights of my life as a dad. I lost my patience and did something I regret to this day.
I didn't grow up with my dad in the picture, and the men in my life were not good father figures to me. I was raised in an uncertain, sometimes abusive, alcohol-ridden household. When I became a parent, I didn't have a clue. All I knew is what I didn't want to do, but that wasn't enough.
Losing our temper does not mean that we are bad, hopeless people. We are only lacking the skills to talk ourselves down so that we can respond instead of reacting to the daily challenges of fatherhood.
In this show, I give you a toolbox of strategies that you can use to understand the triggers, notice the signs, and disarm the bomb before it goes off.
Patience is the capacity to accept, tolerate, or delay trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset.
Why focusing on what NOT to do as a parent backfires
Why it's so hard to determine where our anger comes from
The shame and guilt we feel because we don't understand why we sometimes verbally, or even physically, take our frustration out on our loved ones
The things we do in the morning that set us up for disaster when it comes to losing our tempers
The elements of patience
The physical triggers that signal that we're about to react
How we unwittingly trigger our fight or flight mechanisms
How to create space between reaction and response
Why emotions are neither bad nor good
How to detach from outcomes
How to prepare for moments that will test our patience
How to give forgive ourselves when we make mistakes
Stopping negative self-talk
Executing an after-action review
BECOME A PATIENT FATHER IN 37 MINUTES
Learn how to understand, predict, and neutralize your temper in this quick, actionable eCourse.
Includes print offs, templates, plus a 30-day membership in THE DAD EDGE MASTERMIND.
Get support, motivation, and advice from other men who've been there. With the accountability of the community, you will not fail!
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Grown @%$ Dad with Aaron Kleiber
08/30/2020 /0 Comments/in General, Podcast /by Christa Wojciechowski
Being a man, husband, and father can be a challenge, but if we take ourselves too seriously, we forget to stop and enjoy the good moments.
Laughter helps us release tension, cope with adversity, and approach life with a sense of fun. We need humor in our lives now more than ever. That is why today we have a comedian dad on the show!
Aaron Kleiber has been a professional stand-up comedian for 10 years and has just released his Amazon Prime special, Grown @%$ Dad.
Aaron developed his sense of humor as a coping mechanism through a rough childhood. He tells us how comedy has strengthened his ability to deal with people, endure difficult times, and improvise when faced with unexpected adversity. He also talks about how encouraging our kids' sense of humor will help them be happier, more creative, and resilient.
Lighten up and let some laughter into your family!
Family is what you make it.
Aaron Kleiber
Aaron Kleiber has been entertaining his entire life — from climbing atop his grandmother's coffee table as a child and being voted class clown in high school, to 'acting' in front of a camera and taking the stage at comedy clubs across North America today.Began his entertainment career producing, performing and writing indie films with high school friend Chris Preksta (Echo Torch, Pittbsburgh Dad), garnering multiple film festival appearances and awards. A short stint at Second City, Chicago and the birth of his first daughter, led him to stay in Pittsburgh and try the 'solo sport' of stand-up comedy in 2009.
His podcast, with over 190 episodes, 'Grown Dad Business' has been streamed over a million times and can be heard on iTunes and everywhere else you listen to podcasts.
A native of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Aaron has been a fixture in the city's booming comedy scene for the last decade; producing and performing hundreds of shows in the area, including the Pittsburgh Improv, selling out multiple headline shows, and Arcade Comedy Theater, where he served as stand-up programmer for 5 years. Also was named "Best Local Comedian" by Pittsburgh Magazine three times.
Aaron continues to work and reside in Pittsburgh, PA with his wife and three children.
Grown @%$ Dad
Aaron Kleiber delivers jabs of romanticized parental myths with uppercuts of straight-up dad knowledge. From sun visors and dad nuggs to his no-holds barred take on annoying children's television and Santa, Aaron's truths resonate with parents and non-parents alike. He may not know all the answers, but what he does understand is delivered through his special brand of comedic storytelling.
Aaron Kleiber didn't know his biological father.
How he frames his relationship with his abusive stepfather
Why he hasn't pursued his real father
The people who became father figures in his life
Creating his own band of brothers
Why Aaron says, "I feel like there is no life without my wife."
How comedy reigns in his household
How to keep the family fun all the time
Teaching your kids the proper way to serve fart jokes
Watching your kid's personality develop and influence their unique sense of humor
How comedy keeps you emotionally on your toes as a dad
Why Aaron and his wife don't hide their feelings from their kids
Dealing with being out of work during the pandemic
How difficult the comedy business is
How to pivot when unexpected adversity strikes
How to deal with the hecklers in your life
Having the tools to fight when you're back into a corner
Learning to deal with different people and personalities
Turning frustration into comedy
Aaron's OCD Dad-vision
His goal to make really good human beings
The gift of not needing much to be happy
Aaron Kleiber's motto, "Be Kind, Be Funny"
Modern Rites of Passage for Today's Boys
Creating a Rite of Passage Experience for Your Son
The Cool, Calm, and Connected Family with Arlene Pellicane
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Aaron Kleiber's Links
aaronkleiber.com
#DailyDad LIVE on YouTube
Amazon Prime Comedy Special
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Don't settle for a mediocre life.
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Personal Evolution Through Trauma with Stefanos Sifandos
How far have you evolved as a person? Are you still struggling with the same issues you've had all your life? Are you turning to vices to distract and soothe you? Do you avoid those hard conversations with people who are important to you?
Your relationship with yourself is the foundation of all other aspects of your life, and if you haven't confronted your demons, you will never be able to take your personal evolution to the next level.
Stefanos Sifandos is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping men create a life of meaning and purpose.
Not long ago, he was egotistical, dishonest, unfaithful, and above all, scared. He discovered that unresolved trauma from his toxic father was unconsciously and destructively influencing his behavior.
Today, Stefanos shares his journey into the depth of pain, and how we can drill to the truth of ourselves to become completely integrated and self-reliant.
He also reveals 6 steps that we can take to process, heal, and expand from the wounds of the past.
"Unconsciously, I used my childhood—my trauma, my wounding—as an excuse to be an asshole."—Stefanos Sifandos
Stefanos Sifandos
Stefanos is a trained educator and relationships expert with a background in behavioral science. He is passionate about leading people closer to their highest potential and each other.
Stefanos' philosophy merges the best of eastern and western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. From trauma release to navigating the murky waters of modern masculinity, to helping women understand the men in their lives, he helps people escape negative patterns and cultivate a positive sense of self.
Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life; special forces soldiers, Olympic gold medalists, elite fighters, and everyday people have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.
Stefanos had a tumultuous childhood with a physically and emotionally abusive father.
He witnessed his dad and mom have a volatile relationship.
His life growing up was full of uncertainty, judgement, control, and pressure.
Many of us suppress our childhood memories.
Hate, anger, and fear are constrictive. Feeling is freeing, and freedom allows us to expand.
How Stefanos grieved his childhood, learned to accept his father, and let go of who he expected him to be.
Taking responsibility for dealing with your trauma.
Stefanos was hyper-aggressive, arrogant, and egotistical.
His business fluctuated and he had volatile relationships.
How he became aware of his unhealthy patterns
How men can stay on the path of ignorance or become aware and choose a new path
How Stefanos used physical challenges to begin growing his self-worth
4 years ago, Stefanos was cleaning toilets and sweeping floors because he didn't want the commitment of a business.
How we use the dopamine from vices to suppress emotions.
Other tools men use to cope—avoidance, projecting, codependency, and blame
Stefanos says that he had to go through multiple ego deaths to get to where he is.
Why "the masculine wants to be empty"
The one thing a woman needs most from a man is trustworthiness.
We can't be trustworthy if we don't do what we say.
Why you must have guides and support when you decide to go within.
You won't solve your issues with the same perspective as you developed them.
Feeling is your way through the pain.
The 6 Step Cyclical Process of Healing
Depth-feeling – getting inside your emotions
Grounding – pull yourself out, immerse yourself in nature
Release – journal, empty your head
Reprieve – self-care, healthy pleasure
Introspection – stillness and silence
Social – reconnecting with friends and loved ones and being seen, respected, and appreciated
Why you should talk face to face with your woman.
Our issues with other people have little to do with them. We must deepen the connection to ourselves.
Confidence is a gate to self-worth.
How to improve your confidence level
Care less about what people think and more about being true to yourself.
Why Nice Guys Don't Get Their Needs Met
No More Mr. Nice Guy with Dr. Robert Glover
Stefanos Sifandos's Links
stefanossifandos.com
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Why Should I Forgive? with Derek Stone
06/21/2020 /0 Comments/in Podcast /by Christa Wojciechowski
Is there someone in your life that you are finding it hard to forgive. A sibling, friend, or parent? We all have grudges, but we don't realize how much emotional and mental bandwidth they're stealing from us.
Derek Stone is the author of Why Should I Forgive? He grew up in poverty and was sexually abused by his stepfather. His bitterness led him into drugs, alcohol, and dysfunctional relationships. But he found the faith he needed to forgive and move on. Now his mission is to empower people to transform their lives and walk them through the hell of confronting past trauma and teaching them to forgive.
Derek talks about his painful journey out of hate, anger, and shame and how the power of forgiveness can free us to create the full and happy lives we were meant live.
"For true forgiveness to happen, something has to die."—Derek Stone
Derek Stone
Derek Stone is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Stone's Repair and Remodel, LLC. He's been married to his high school sweetheart, Crystal for the past 17 years and together they have two boys: Ashton, 14 years old and Noah, 7 years old.
Derek came from humble beginnings and grew up in Section-8 housing located in Mobile, AL. Derek has a fraternal twin brother and was the youngest of 4 children growing up. His parents divorced when he was 5 years old and had to raise himself when his mom started working 3 jobs to keep the lights on. He moved to North East Mississippi at age 16 when his mother re-married for the 3rd time and started his life over.
He gives all the credit for his success to one decision he made while a senior in high school. He says, "I started looking back at my life to figure out what made me so different from my other three siblings. I chose to forgive my dad and not take the same paths my parents did. I blamed dad for every bad thing I went through as a child: from being sexually abused, going hungry (thank God for school lunches), to having to take cold showers because the power got cut off. I was very bitter as a teenager and wanted a better life, so when the opportunity presented itself, I took it!"
36 years since the beginning of his story and he is currently living his best life, not someone else's. He enjoys hunting, fishing, knife making, and hanging out with his family. He loves helping people re-tool to change their lives and empowering them to do so. He loves God, loves his family, and loves people.
"Why Should I Forgive? came from a place of discontent. It drove me to change my behavior, relationships, and habits. When I asked myself that question, I was met with a choice. Do I forgive, and be free of the burden of bitterness I was carrying around, or do I live in it, locking myself in a prison of torment and anger?
My passion is to empower people to change their own lives. I personally know the poison that bitterness injects into your body, mind, and spirit. I know the deep hate, anger, and shame that can drive you to your breaking point. I know how you can hurt the people who love you the most, or, even worse, yourself.
I have no Ph.D, M.D., or Doctorate degree in psychology. This is real. It's my story of how I overcame bitterness, and now I want to give you the tools to walk you through your own journey. I want you to know that if you choose to forgive, it will lead to your freedom.
Join me on this journey. We will laugh, cry, and share life for a moment. This is my story of why and how. At the beginning of this book, the question is "Why should I forgive?" By the end of it, I will have given you the tools to help you in your quest to forgive. These tools will help you to forgive and start your path to spiritual freedom."
How to stop thinking of yourself as a victim
The process and benefits of forgiveness
How to forgive someone without giving them access to you
When and how to get rid of toxic people
Derek's favorite quote: "If I associate with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with eagles, I will learn to soar to great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly."— Andy Andrews
How Derek re-established the relationship with his father
Abusive people are repeating what was done to them. They serve as an example of what not to be.
How forgiveness set Derek's stagnant life in motion
Forgiveness is a choice. If you're not forgiving people, you're opening yourself up to torment.
The difference between forgiveness and being taken advantage of
Why you should never go to your pastor, friends, or family for marriage advice
The 4 signs that spell doom for your marriage
Your spouse is not an enemy, but a gift.
Going with your gut when it comes to letting people into your life
How to use your purpose as a filter for all of your relationships. Does this person help or hinder your purpose?
Neutralize negative thoughts by telling them that you don't need them anymore.
On challenges—we never know how they're preparing us for what's to come.
Having patience in "the waiting room" when we feel plagued by setbacks and delays
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Derek Stone's Links
derekstone.online
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