Tag: true crime
"It Wasn't My Idea,"
https://www.nola.com/crime/2018/10/man-convicted-in-fatal-attempted-robbery-of-loomis-guard-said-crime-was-co-defendants-idea.html
If you do ever happen to find yourself charged with a crime there are a variety of ways to try and get out of it. A good lawyer is probably the best, maybe a close second to keeping your freaking mouth shut. Blaming somebody else is also a good choice depending on circumstance. I have even had a guy explain to me that the crack-cocaine in his pocket was not his because the pants he happened to be wearing were also not his. In that particular instance, however, when asked if the five hundred dollars, also found in said pants was also not his, the story about the mysterious missing pant owners seemed to fall apart. He went to jail.
One excuse I have never heard work, and will never work when trying to get out of a charge is to play the, "It wasn't my idea," card.
On May 31, 2017 at around 4:30pm two 'gentleman' (not going to give their names because they should thrown in a hole and forgotten, not celebratized) drew down on a Loomis armored car after it pulled up to re-supply an ATM machine. During the robbery one of the guards, Jimmy McBride, was shot and killed. The subjects got away with about $5,000 dollars cash and did what most criminals do, they got caught. Turns out that not everybody in the U.S. has figured out that there are cameras everywhere. The robbery, or enough of it was caught on camera to identify the two subjects.
Like always happens one subject turned on the other to gain leniency. On October 24th in federal court got the opportunity to testify against his cohort. What was his guilt mitigating rationale for why an upstanding citizen is dead? It wasn't my idea. He didn't deny taking part (cameras make that difficult), didn't plead that he was forced, under duress into committing the crime. Nope, it just wasn't his idea.
Saying you were kidnapped and forced into the robbery by a group of armored truck marauding space aliens would get you better traction in court than saying, "It was his idea, but, uh, I was already there…so…"
The article says both men face life in prison, which is probably best for everybody.
Oh, and one other thing. The article says they pulled off the robbery at 4:30pm on a Wednesday in a major city. What kind of getaway do you plan to make in rush hour traffic in the middle of the week? My God, criminal masterminds all over the world are shaking their heads in disbelief. De Niro and Kilmer circa "Heat" they are not. I mean…Damn.
Author johnstampwriterPosted on November 6, 2018 October 30, 2018 Categories UncategorizedTags blog, blogger, Books, Crime, New Orleans, news, politics, robbery, society, true crimeLeave a comment on "It Wasn't My Idea,"
Savannah's Pissed
Savannah unamused by googly eyes placed on historic statue: 'It's a crime'
http://amp.thestate.com/news/local/crime/article219716780.html
Guess who gets this case? The new guy in the Detective Bureau, that's right.
In Savannah, GA someone (read drunken SCAD nerds) put googly eye stickers on a monument to Nathaniel Greene. I had a civil war joke to make about this article but then I realized Nathaniel Greene was a hero of the Revolutionary war and it ruined everything.
They have a real whodunit in Savannah. I'm going to call my shot here and guess how this one is going to play out.
In reality I'm betting the two googly eyes were stripped off by a city maintenance worker and tossed in the trash when the incident was first discovered.
But just for a moment lets imagine he left them there. It is pretty funny, the maintenance guy can not help but snap a picture and immediately post to twitter, Instagram, facebook (I guess), and maybe Snap, if they haven't declared bankruptcy yet. He hash-tagged it #Savannah #crazyeyes or something equally un-inventive and forgot about the whole thing. Seven minutes and forty-nine seconds later a Daughter of the American Revolution (that's a real thing, look it up) hopped on her phone, set up for her by her granddaughter, and automatically following #savannah, saw the disgrace of this national monument and went apoplectic. She called the mayor, she called the chief, she called the rest of the DAR…Sacrilege!
The intern at the Mayors office found the post and showed it to the Deputy Assistant Executive Assistant to the Associate Mayor who seeing an opportunity to be an actual Associate Mayor some day took swift action for the public good. They re-posted the googly eyes with a demand that something be done!
Ten minutes later the Chief of the Savannah PD puts the phone back in the cradle with a sigh, rubs his eyes and calls for his secretary to call the Commander of the Detective Bureau.
Six minutes after that the Commander storms out of his office and finds the Lieutenant, the Lieutenant finds the Sergeant, the Sergeant looks around the bull pen. He studies all the gruff and time worn faces and finds the one in the bunch who won't give him shit. He strides to the desk of the newest detective in Savannah and drops a note on his desk. He says, "A lot of eyes on this one kid, don't fuck this up," he bites his tongue and retreats to his office.
"Shiiiiit," New guys says once the Sarge is out of ear shot.
From the next desk over an overweight fifty-something detective playing solitaire grins, "Better move on this one F-N-G, those stickers won't stick for ever, it's hot outside."
New guy doesn't have a take home car so he has to sign a beater that smells like old feet out of the fleet. He rolls to the Nathaniel Greene statue to see a crowd of old women in period dress barking at a swarm of teenagers who have climbed up on the statue to take selfies with the googly eyes. New Guy realizes right there that he made a mistake giving up patrol for this but he has a job to do. He puts on his cop voice,
"Police! Get off the statue!" When you do cop voice right everyone freezes. I still use it on my kids. If you've never done it, I can't explain it to you.
The crowd freezes, and the last teen drops to the ground once his phone goes, Click. They all look at him expectantly.
New Guy has an epiphany. He charges into the crowd, "This is a crime scene, I'm going to have to ask everyone to back up," for effect he is slipping a pair of latex gloves on as he passes.
One of the teens starts to mouth off and New Guy turns on a dime to stop only an inch from the boys nose, "Do you want to go to jail for obstruction?"
"Ob-wha?"
"Xactly, move," the kid and his friends make a run for it.
New Guy stops to study the crime scene. He peels off his sunglasses slowly, and steps up on the platform to get a closer look. He lingers for a while, just for effect before leaping down from the statue and returning to his car. In a moment he returns carrying what looks like a tool box. When he opens it everyone leans in to get a look. With a beat up old fiberglass brush in one hand and a jar of black powder in the other he climbs back up the statue and paints Nathaniel Greene's brass mug in black fingerprint powder. He can see friction ridges on the surface of the googly eyes. He spreads transparent lift tape over each of the eyes and peels the tape back revealing fingerprints. He affixes his lifts to two fingerprint cards. He peels the stickers off the statue with the care that a Revolutionary War hero deserves and packages each one in a paper bag complete with bright red evidence tape. When he looks up all eyes are on him, watching every move. He puts his sunglasses back on,
"I'm going to need every one of you to form a line here to my left. I'm going to take fingerprints and a statement from each of you,"
Some of the onlooker's go blank, a couple of the teenagers straight up bail, and the rest form a line to the right not the left. But instead of offering their biometric data they promise they had nothing to do with it.
New guy smiles at them, nods, and leaves them standing there without another word.
Just because the Sergeant decided to screw him over with the bullshit case he takes his lifts to the crime scene unit and has the tech run the prints through the national database. There's a hit, two of them. Sure enough, SCAD (Savannah College of Art and Design) nerds.
New Guy leaves the crime scene office, and heads straight for the judge he knows is a re-enactor. The judge doesn't even ask a question, just signs the pair of arrest warrants.
The nerds aren't hard to find. New Guy beats on the door of their dingy apartment until one of the half baked fools, he has a man-bun, opens the door. Three minutes later, one is still wearing his vintage Star Wars pajama pants as he perp-walks them both to his car.
A well placed text to a friend of his ensures there is a reporter from the Savannah Morning News waiting at the county jail intake when he arrives.
"I can't comment on anything ma'am," he tells the reporter, "this is still an evolving situation,"
When New Guy walks back into the office two hours later there is silence. He walks to his desk casually, bracing himself to return to the backlog of real cases that have been waiting for him all morning. Two minutes later the Lieutenant is standing at his desk,
"You're shitting me right?"
"No Sir, case closed, got any more?"
That's all bullshit but I found it entertaining. I mean…really…googly eyes?
Author johnstampwriterPosted on October 21, 2018 October 21, 2018 Categories Author, Crime Fiction, UncategorizedTags blog, blogger, Crime, history, news, politics, society, true crimeLeave a comment on Savannah's Pissed