St. Joans Medical institute
a part of Dead Poets society, by LRmember.
LRmember holds sovereignty over St. Joans Medical institute, giving them the ability to make limited changes.
#conspiracy #fanfic #fiction #friends #help #hope #realistic fiction Add Tags »
from the movie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/dead_poets_society
Default Location for Dead Poets society
St. Joans Medical institute is a part of Dead Poets society.
6 Characters Here
Lacross Cromwell [101] "If one were to look hard enough, one will find sophistication in savagery..."
Sadie Blarke [56] "There is no such thing as a cure, there is only a point where you learn to keep your pretty little mouth shut."
Jesse Dosse [46] "Hello, what can you do for me today?"
Molly McMann [43] "Oh, my gosh shut UP! Nooo... Ssshhh... oh my gosh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? I didn't mean to. I can't tell you why I said that. I just had to. They won't be quiet... Nevermind."
Svean Marcia [25] "Hello pleased to meet you. Can i interest you in a song?
Leland Morkov [21] "He's doesn't even deserve to be called human! If he wants to be a dog than so be it!"
270 posts here • Page 2 of 11 • 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 11
# 2012-01-04 05:14:03 , as written by FalloutRomanae
This new girl seemed disturbed. They all seemed disturbed, but that girl seemed disturbed by something that was present at the moment. Molly cocked her head at her and squinted. Then she looked back to Lacross. "Words don't work." she murmured. She liked that about the boy. He seemed undefinable, in his own category, unique. He didn't bring up some old memories that her mind invented. He just was. Then they both asked what the meeting was about. Molly thought. In her mind she saw swirling colors, a moon, and a vague picture. When she saw the picture, it dissolved into numbers. Those numbers told her about a cure. The silver haired boy was a cure. An odd cure, but... and then I can't put into words what she felt. It was a feeling that was completely her own, created by the... there are those words falling short again. I'll say that it was created by the cosmos and colors of her mind. The poor girl wanted to tell Lacross and the girl what she was thinking, but she couldn't. She tried so hard, but all that came out was inane babble.
"It'll be great." Molly whispered with an odd intensity, crouching swiftly down next to both people. "We'll go downstairs and look at the Christmas tree! And it will make us better!"
Her excited gaze turned to the girl. "What's your name? No, nevermind," she added, waving her hand in dismissal. "A name will just come out of my mind with different colors on it." Then the girl withdrew into her own head, so Molly turned to Lacross.
She wanted to tell him something! She wanted to say that she knew everything would be okay, even though it obviously wouldn't be. Then her mind wandered and she couldn't think of words anymore. Just colors. She was so frustrated. Tears welled in her eyes. Then clarity washed over her in a wave. It was one of those rare moments of lucidity.
"Hey." She started in a completely normal voice. "I know-" but then she stopped as she saw the scars on his shoulder. The forms and colors overwhelmed her again, and her mind retreated into them. She gasped, covering her mouth with her left hand. Then she moved her right hand to cover her right ear and closed her right eye. She pointed a shaky left finger at the scars. "What... are those?"
# 2012-01-04 05:53:40 , as written by LRmember
Svean was in a bad mood. He was always in a bad mood after doing that to people. He HATED being so suspicious and not being able to tell them about the society, about how it made everything feel like lifting into air. He despised how half the time the people wouldn't come because they were suspicious of him giving them drugs or something, and it was kind of right. Once you went to the society you couldn't stop going. Even if you didn't participate-no. Scratch that. Even if you didn't read it was like being lifted away from the institute and from the problems and being able to live normally again. It worked and it would always work because what almost everyone here needed was a vent. A way out. Something that was just what the society was, freedom. He sighed and rubbed his temples. Not being a patient person he found it even more annoying that he had to wait until they came to show just how wonderful it was. Suddenly Allison was back again and his thoughts had to wait until that night when he could actually speak them.
"Hey, Al. What's wrong?"
"I just wanted to let you know that i was kind enough not to tell about how you were hanging around in the unfinished area again." she huffed and he chuckled.
"Is it really kindness or because the Matryum would have figured out you were there too?" he asked and circled again to a window where he could look down on the others like before, except this was allowed.
"It was because i like you. Now why don't you ever call me 'love'?" she sighed leaning into him asthough being closer would make him less annoyed.
"Because 'love' doesn't fit you. You're just too . . . redefining to be called 'love'." he smiled and she giggled.
"I love how say it like that." she cooed and he turned sharply so his back was to her. The three were obviously discussing if they should actually go or not. Great. he thought, maybe they will come after all. Allison was in his face again.
"Does one of those newbies catch your eye?" she glared down at them.
"Yeah. That boy is really smexy." he said and stared down with a 'love sick' sigh. "I just wish he felt the same."
"You're such a tease." she snapped but obviously was jealous.
"Alright then. Let's go to lunch. I wanna talk with Crow."
"His name is THEODORE."
"He likes to be called CROW." he said back and the two of them walked off as Svean gave one last glance towards the three. See ya tonight . . . hopefully.
# 2012-01-04 06:35:09 , as written by Vestiline
Lacross was baffled, almost as if the traquilzer was working it's magic again. As much as he would like some answers, there was another addition to the fray. He sighed. Sometimes, one had to see this for himself to get what he wanted.He growled in irritation with the situation. "For the love of the pale lady, I'll come if it means getting the answers I seek." He said, sighing to calm himself for thoughts of ripping off his face for some kind of cure to his curiosity. No wonder didn't see himself as human. Too strightforward, too beastial, too easily angered. It didn't bother him to leave his room at nights anyway. They thought he slept all day, but in fact he was up nights trying to find a way outside. His need to vent and howl to the heavens was sorely needed and missed. If it meant going his calls to the wild hunt were actually going to answered since coming here, maybe "sanity" could be reached.
He reach for his the fallen part of his robe, trying to ignore the comment made about him. In all honesty, he'd never seen himself as attractive to persuade a mate of any kind. He'd had his crushes, and day dreams, but that's all they were. Just dreams. He covered his scar hoping no one would ask...only to have molly go right ahead and ask. "I don't much like talking about this one, dear." he said once it was properly covered. Lacross watched him leave, his curiosity peeked about the this meeting. He growled with irritation. "Sometimes I curse my pale lady for blessing me with curiosity." he said with his head in his hands. A light growl rose from his throat as he outstretched his arms ahead of himself and stretched, opening his mouth wide with a yawn.
# 2012-01-04 06:53:39 , as written by OurLadyofSorrows
Sadie couldn't help but look up and give the other girl a queer look. Her sentences didn't cooperate in the slightest. Nothing she said made sense, and it frustrated her to try and translate. But she didn't express her irritation, instead she just let out a sigh. She had already moved on to asking Lacross about his scars, something Sadie wouldn't dare to do. She bit her lower lip, lowering her head again when he wouldn't answer the questions. Of course he was going to go that night. He was brave. Impulsive, but still braver than she could ever manage to be. There were a few moments where she just curled into herself, waiting for something to happened. But it didn't. Nothing catastrophic came from her admitting to herself that she wasn't perfect. Nothing melted down. Nothing happened. What had she expected? To break down?
No, she just fell into one of her lesser habits. The one that either threw people off and made them uncomfortable or gave a completely different, yet still inappropriate signal. She stretched a little, reaching and lightly curling her hand onto Lacross' arm. She didn't regard whether he would snap at her, or completely hate her, she only recognized her need for contact. It didn't have to be entirely human. Sadie didn't even think about Molly, who seemed to be zoning in and out of reality, and could be a threat to her as well. Why bother being scared? This place was a nightmare in itself, might as well play along as Alice in her poorly constructed wonderland. Where was the Hatter these days?
Oh, she really was losing it. "At least you..." She paused, trying to pull the words out of the air. "Know how to feel." Sadie cringed at her awkward wording and pulled her hand back from him, tucking it to her chest as if trying to protect something in her palm, though there was nothing there. "I would be sorry, but I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be." Dark eyes got wide, not lucid, but a glint of frustration and sadness lingered. "It's not as fun as it looks." Sadie frowned, abruptly climbing to her feet. She had come here to be alone, not get crowded by people and make a fool of herself. Her cheeks turned a violent red, and she backed up against the wall, lightly feeling at it, moving sideways. She assumed that at least one thought her obscene and was expecting retaliation. Fear gave way to morbid curiosity as she looked at the two.
Lacross pulled his arms back to himself, irritated at the secrets of this place. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself from going off at any little sound. He rubbed his eyes, it was still day light outside to his knowledge and he should still be asleep by his own accord. And as much as he wanted to do so, he didn't want to go back to his room. The white wash of his walls hurt his eyes every time any nurse or doctor turned on the lights, blinding him into pain until his eyes adjusted. "No need for apologies, none of us know what he was talking about for the time being." he said, nuzzling his head against Sadie's arm. He tried dearly the comfort those who where more broken then he was. By nuzzling, he was trying to make himself as non- threatening as possible, almost like a puppy looking for attention. "it's not easy relearning what you should have learned in the first place." he purred. He scritched the back of his head for a quick second, moving his head on his nails. He knew eventually that the nurses would find him while wandering the halls. He rolled his eyes at the thought and lowered his head onto his arms and started to doze off.
Why couldn't they all be so tame? Sadie stared at him, her lips pursed in confusion. There was a lot she had to learn about this place--about these people--about him, who didn't fall in the category of people at all, despite his high intelligence and empathy. Empathy. That was a word she heard too much. Sadie slowly moved back down next to him, sliding down against the wall and letting out a relieved sigh. All was quiet, and peaceful for just a moment. A strange silence in a world of noise and chaos. Would she ever learn? Was it okay not to learn? She looked at Lacross. He was supposed to learn to act like them, she supposed, but in her own opinion it would ruin who he was. It wasn't like he was feral, dumb, or dangerous. Why not just let him live? But then, they wouldn't just let her live, either. She was considered a threat. First, to herself, and maybe to others if she went 'untreated.' Sadie frowned.
Now wasn't the time to torment herself with those thoughts. For once, she didn't feel the need to be alone, trying to force out the feelings that just wouldn't come. She knew they were there. A flutter of a butterfly in a jar, but she just couldn't get the lid off. Sadie feared that she wouldn't get it off before the butterfly died. She closed her eyes, reaching and lightly touching Lacross' arm again. In the quiet, she sat there, trying so hard to feel normal, to feel okay. Some time passed, and the sun shifted in the sky. Sadie jumped to her feet abruptly, leaving Molly and Lacross there to do as they would. She scrambled away, back towards the white washed walls, back towards the strict rules and the regular days. She retreated to her room, tearing off the offensive shoes, curling onto her bed. Back to passing time. Staring at the wall, trying to get the lid off the jar. Something even the doctors couldn't manage. She wondered about the boy, the leader of the strange pack that met at night. She wondered about Molly, frustrated, seemingly trapped in her own mind, peeking out from moments of clarity only to fall back into the mess. Sadie pondered Lacross, so animalistic in nature but so human on the inside.
All of this while she waited patiently for night to fall. Consume the light and bring some sort of mystery that nobody was free from.
"Oh, sorry." Molly said, embarrassed. "I didn't mean to offend." She slowly let her hand fall from her ear and opened her eye again. She sat for a while in silence, rocking to the right, then to the left. Right... left... right... left. The movement helped her. The frantic flurries in her mind calmed a little when she transfered some of that energy into physical movement. Right... left... right - The other girl suddenly leapt away and ran back to her room. "Bye!" Molly called after her.
Then she stopped. The moment was leaving. She felt like something was slipping out of her grasp, as if she had held her conciousness inside her hands and now it was falling through her fingers. She felt like she couldn't see, even though she could. She didn't want the clarity to go away. She wanted to stay in the realm of color and real variation, not her mind of blank canvas and vibrating inventions. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing else but maintaining her self-awareness. The act felt like she was dragging something from the back of her mouth to her eyes. It wasn't working. In a panic, she opened her eyes - the world looked like it was spinning - and reached out and siezed frantic hold of Lacross' arm. Everything was so still. She was back in the moment, back in the saddle. Then the real Molly that had just surfaced realized that she was still holding on to the boy's arm in a feverish death grip. "Sorry," she apologized, releasing his arm. "Are you hurt? Or scared? I didn't mean to do that, but..." she shrugged. "I did." she glanced down the hall where the girl had gone. "That girl. What's her name?"
Dreams of distant howls and the rush of the hunt flowed through his slumbering form. Not once did he feel the need to become more human then what little vistage that he had. Though that fantasy was abruptly awoken by molly. His hand flexed as if one of the staff was waking him, but saw that it was the other girl. He blinked sleepily. "It's alright. I'm fine, just tired." he said, now standing all fours. He craved something softer to sleep on, for once having to go back to his room. "Her name I believe was sadie. Now, I should be heading to bed my dear. The day is not my time." Lacross trotted out of abandoned halls and toward his room, avoiding the doctors and nurses along the way and sneaking into his room unnoticed.
He curled up under his thin sheets, looking out the window of his door to watch the activity outside his door. They wanted him to be more like them. Fall into line with other humans, become less like the animal he knew he was. And yet he never could. He pondered on the options that he had. Either fake progress and go back to the life he had lived outside of these white walls or never be able to leave again and be caged here for the rest of his life. The offer by the silver haired boy came to mind now, I chance to vent his frustrations and howl for the wild hunt to begin. And then the girl, so broken. Part of him wanted to see her rebuilt and come out in the open about what she wanted. Sleep started to set in once again, letting the sounds of howls and the rush of the hunt soothe him once again.
The boy left. Molly whispered, "No, wait! I only just now got to talk to you..." But he couldn't hear her, of course. She didn't mean for him to hear her. He could come and go as he pleased. She sat alone for a while, listening to the silence. It was wonderful. The forms in her head were quiet and subdued. Waiting in the corners of her mind, lingering outside her circle of clarity. She didn't know how long she sat there, eyes closed, breathing, resting. It must have been a while, because when she came out of her meditation, her face was tired from smiling. It was a real smile. Not the weird, childish smile that sometimes forced its way onto her face during one of her episodes, but a real, joyful smile. Peaceful. Then she stood up slowly, her mind feeling rested and warm, but her body feeling tired and cold. Sighing, she made her way back to her room.
Her course was interrupted, however, by a nurse locking up. Molly stood for a second, frozen. Then she knew what to do. She had to pretend like she was having an episode. She could do that, she thought. She was a good actress. So, she stood stock-still. The nurse came up to scold her and send her back to her room. No doubt she would inform some sort of security unless Molly had a good excuse. So, as soon as the nurse was next to her, Molly grabbed her arm. "Pull!" She said, a lackadaisical smile playing on her face. "Come on, Gertie! We've got to win it!" She shouted to an imaginary person behind her. Then she laughed. "Isn't this fun, boys?" She said to the nurse.
The nurse told her strictly to be quiet, and Molly obeyed. Then the woman guided her back to her room. Molly lay down on the bed and thought. She hated doing that. She was out enough of the time. When she was in she didn't like to spoil it by acting like she was out again. She lay still for maybe two hours, as she usually did, then slowly drifted off to silent sleep.
At 11:15, she jolted awake. Someone was telling her something. It was Sarene. "What is it?" Molly mumbled sleepily.
"King Iadon's up again." Sarene said excitedly. "We have to go follow him!"
"Oh!" Molly gasped, sitting up straight. "The meeting! It's in..." she looked at the clock. "Fifteen minutes!" She jumped up and got dressed, excited. What was going to happen? Was the boy a cure? She sneaked out of her room carefully, slowly creeping her way back to the abadoned hall. Soon, she would be there. And so would the cure.
Svean was calm. The usual members had all showed up smiling to themselves and laughing at a whisper when Crow showed up with the drum.
"Hey. Lets wait a few more minuets." he said calmly glancing down the hallway again. "There are some new kids I invited."
"New kids?" Crow scoffed, "You never trust new kids."
"I do today. Let's wait a little longer." he sighed and Crow shrugged.
"You're the boss." he muttered and Svean rolled his eyes. He stared down the hallway before sighing.
"Alright why don't we start now."
"What? Now? You mean HERE?" someone asked.
"Yeah. It'll be fun. Not to mention we could always scram if we need to."
"But . . . Svean are you sure?"
"The Matryum is fast asleep not to mention all the nurses are just lazy. Ahh. Is that one of them?" he broke off and stared down at where Molly was. She appeared to be lead by some invisible being as she raced towards them.
"Alright. Start a beat." Svean said grinning and Crow began to beat.
Come to us you tortured souls
Come to us my dear
We'll be here for you and now
Shed the last of tears
We are the stars that gleam at night
we are the moon that shines
and even when the morning comes
we'll stay forever thine.
So come to us and live again
come to us, be pure
come and you will see that hope
is the finest cure.
The words poured out like honey, dripping around and all the members seemed to dance around as they chanted. the drum beat was no longer for time but now instead to show their hearts as they spun around and clapped or stomped. It was like a dream where you are with all your friends and you think how sad it will be when you wake up, but you also know it's not a dream and that you don't have to wake up.
Svean smiled down at Molly as the others hit their knees to the beat. "This is where we make our friends and families." he streatched out his arms and the others let out howls like animals.
"Come on up, but i warn you, it's like a black hole. You'll be sucked in the moment you read a poem or listen to someone who truely relates to you." he laughed and smiled kindly. "And i'm sorry i made you wait."
Lacross's eyes opened to the sweet comfort that the night had brought, the moon's beams touching his face with the cool touch of the air. Doors never kept him in, for the pull of his time always came first. He dropped to all fours once out of his room and bolted through the white washed halls like the hounds that ran through his dreams. For once, he felt alive in his speed and let loose a bellowing howl that rang through the abandoned part of the institute. He slowed his pace, hearing others in this hall. His nails clicked on the concrete. Words, words like velvet soothing a beastial mind for the time being.
He soon came across the pack (as he called it to himself), all human and making him slightly weary. He saw the sliver haired boy from earlier in the day. At least one familiar face keep him from fully curl himself up in the corner while everyone else went on. For once he stood to his feet, looking around at everyone before his eyes fell to the sliver haired one. "You gather in the light of the pale dancer's grace. I envy you all for that." he said, clicking his nails together before dropping back to the ground on all fours. He smirked, purring in content at the group that had gathered here. "I hope I have not interrupted the festivities." Lacross trotted away into a vacant spot in the shadows, where he had a clear view of the moon. His pale eye that had watched over him. His slightly scraped his nails against the floor, slightly unnerved at the amount of people.
Sadie was slow these days. She trudged through therapy, picked at dinner, and didn't really respond to anyone for the rest of the night. She tongued her pills (how freakin' rebellious, right?) and tucked the offending little tablets into the pocket of her pants. She wrapped her arms around herself, staring at the clock that was so cleverly bolted on the wall, out of her reach. As eleven rolled around, she started to consider the odd boy's invitation. As eleven fifteen came, she sat up. When eleven twenty arrived, she was quietly slipping on a pair of jeans under her nightgown. It wasn't a full commitment, because she didn't plan to stay long. Especially if it was weird. Especially if it was a trap. Sadie nervously ran her fingers through her messy hair, peering into the hall. It was clear. At least it seemed clear. In the mirror that reflected from the upper parts of the nurse's station, she watched one of the nurses, dozed off in front of a small television set. It seemed safe enough. None the less, she walked carefully, fearful of waking any of the other patients or the Matryum. But it seemed no need, as she heard a steady, strange noise that grew as she moved her way down the hall.
Sadie stopped short in her tracks when she saw them. Enough people to make her nervous, enough of a strange ritual they seemed to be in the midst of to make her draw back a little. This made her nervous already, seeing so many of them. Was it a cult? Molly was already there, and she tried to read her expression to gauge the situation. But it was hard to read other people when she didn't even know what she was feeling. All she knew was that this whole thing made her uneasy with a mix of curiosity and insecurity. She could run now. And never know what they were doing--suffer with her nights alone and just lay there questioning what was going on just outside her grasp. What was she supposed to say? She probably looked insane, just staring at them blankly, wringing her hands and tugging at the fabric to her nightgown. What a loon. Her cheeks flushed red, but she didn't falter.
"What is this?" She asked the necessary question, nothing more, peering at them much like she had with Lacross. Trying to read them. Get what was going on in their heads. Sadie paced a little, nervous at best. Much like earlier in the day, she felt the need to tuck herself away. Where was he, anyways? Wasn't Lacross going to come? Sadie frowned, touching the walls as she circled them. She felt strange, like she had walked in on something she shouldn't. She heard the faint scratch of nails on the floor, and turned, frowning. It had to be him. Or some other patient that she hadn't met yet. Either way she ducked down, pressing her palm to the floor. "I'm blind as a bat, is that you, Lacross?" She asked quietly, as if afraid of the others hearing her.
His head snapped to attention when he heard his name. The voice sounded familiar to lacross, and when he looked up his thought was right. "Sadie, you came." he said waving to him. He sat like an animal this time, dressed in a black robe this time though. He tried to make as much movement as he could to lure her over to him. For some reason, part of him didn't want to sit alone here. He knew nothing about what this group was here for or why they where gathered. He though back to the promise of the feeling of family and healing for their sorrow.
He could feel the energy in the air, practicly taste it and he wanted a taste of it. The animal that he was wanted so much but so sing his soul to the heavens, let out who he was. What he was. The beast he was brought into this world as. However he knew now was not the time for it, and in all hopes for him; not yet.
"I wasn't sure about it...but yeah...I came." She said in a hushed tone, turning and looking at the group of them. Part of her ached. They were so fluid, so okay and expressive with their emotions and their wants and needs. It left a hollow, bitter feeling in her heart. She wanted it. Something she couldn't have. Something she struggled to have. The last time she was able to express the deepest needs in her, she'd chased them away with pills. Maybe they were too much for her to handle. None the less, she heeded his greeting, scuffling on the floor to move up next to him once more. Her dark eyes were wide and reflected the dim light as she watched the group, existing so easily. As if there wasn't danger, or a fear of getting caught. They seemed so happy. So free. Sadie cringed, jealous, and looked away.
"They act like it's so easy." She hissed, a sharp tone of bitterness striking through her words. Sadie didn't get violent, she just got bitter. She didn't lash out, instead, she reverted into herself, wrapping her arms around herself. She leaned her head to touch it to Lacross' arm, but didn't make any further contact. Her face was blank, save for the longing in her eyes as she watched the rest of the group interact amongst themselves. Maybe she should have stayed in her room. Now she knew what she couldn't have and it just made things worse.
Lacross nuzzled sadie's arm, feeling the discomfort coming off of her. In all honesty, he was quite nervous as well. The last time he was among this man people was when he was forced to go to school. Memories of the worse moments he had to endure started to surface, and he started to shake. He watched everyone else interact with one another like everyone knew each other. Sadie was the only familiar face that he would't harm or dare say liked in a friendly way. Still, he was an outsider. Outside the ways of man and an outsider to this group. He started to nuzzle Sadie's shoulder absent mindedly, keeping an eye out for anyone that threatened him. "Humans are normally social creatures, common minded individuals will gather to form family groups. That might be why it's easy for them." He said tapping his nails on the ground. His eyes snapped to everyone's faces, mentally photographing everyone just in case he'd see them again.
Never had he willingly joined a gang of humans without knowing what the event was all about. He had heard what groups where capable of if the leader had significant control over the rest. He kept his form tense, his hands more claw like while nuzzling the girl next to him. For some reason that he couldn't figure out, it gave him a little comfort.
Sadie hated this. This was almost one of her worst nightmares. Watching everyone be happy and free, something she struggled to grasp. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. The only source of calm came when once more Lacross didn't shove her off, rather heeded her incessant need for contact. She shifted a little when she felt him tremble, raising her eyebrows to glance up at him, but not verbally questioning it. He seemed almost as uncomfortable as she, and for some reason that made her feel a little better. She wasn't completely crazy. Then again, said the girl who related better with someone who didn't even identify as human. It wasn't fair. Fate destined her to be an outsider forever, didn't it? It was so much easier when she just pretended. Smiled on cue, faked tears that didn't want to come, and did as she was told. Why couldn't she go back to them?
"If that's human, what does that make me?" She responded bitterly, reaching to rake her hands over her face. She wanted nothing more than to be them, quite happy with the beat, expressing every little bit of frustration that came to her, but it just wasn't going to happen. Instead of lashing out, instead of expressing her anger, she just shuffled further against Lacross, biting her lower lip. Her mind and body wouldn't connect. The frustration and anger and fear was locked away, knocksquing at her door, but she was never able to undo the lock. She felt it, in small bursts, but she just couldn't do it. What would Sadie do to be able to openly express herself?
Not this, that was for sure. What were they going to do, anyways? Read poetry? What the hell was that going to do? She stiffened in agitation, subconciously resisting the urge to snap and ask. Something held her back. Like the parent, holding her on a bad child leash at the mall, yanking her away from the window displays. Only she couldn't scream in discontent. A whine built in her throat, a threat that she was going to scream at them and leave, but nothing came of it. Her cheeks flushed red and she stiffened in annoyance, but she did nothing further. Something, like a brick wall in front of her instinct, wouldn't let her. She turned back to the only thing that brought her peace, ducking against Lacross and lightly squeezing his arm. He was different than others. He didn't pull away from her, and actually seemed to find solace in it as she did.
"Maybe that's why I'm here." She whispered hoarsely. It was rare Sadie acknowledged just how messed up she was compared to the rest of society. She always considered herself normal, just a little depressed. But as time went on, she disconnected from the people who were supposed to love her, not sure what she was anymore, finding the only sense in life being the words of the determined "insane." Another pause, and she pursed her lips. "So, is someone gonna answer my question?" Her voice shook, but she held her head up, trying to make some point of seeming more concious than a nervous mental patient.
Molly heard the drum and the chanting right before she rounded the corner. Then she saw the group of people and stopped. They don't want you here. the form in her mind said. You just think they do because you can't see. I'll see for you. "No." Molly said out loud. "I want to see them for myself." You know I can't let you do that. Too dangerous. Then it took over, just like that.
The reality-blind Molly walked over to the group. Then she swayed right to left, right to left... Then she stopped abruptly. Someone was looking at her. Turning around, she saw that Sadie had just arrived. Molly almost ran over to greet her, but her mind stopped her. A feeling like she was made of lead flowed over her, and she stood stock-still, watching Sadie find he boy Lacross. They talked for a minute, and Molly felt jealous. How could they stand up with all these chains around them?
Molly looked own at her own chains. One was around her chest, constricting her breathing. More were on her feet, making her stand still. And one was on her mouth, silencing her. She groaned in torment. Maybe this boy had the keys! She fell to her knees and wailed, as long and loud as she could. Then, shuddering, she looked around to see if anyone could hear her. She especially looked at the silver-haired boy. If he had heard it, then she knew everything would be okay. Desperation was evident in her eyes an face as she lifted them up in a plea for help.
Sadie was starting to adjust. It was going to be alright. Maybe she could learn something from them. They almost seemed as if they wanted to help--and maybe they could. There was a possibility. She didn't move from her perch, still expecting an answer from someone, but she didn't retreat, either. It was sort of okay, watching them. Agitating that they were so free and fluid to feel, but she was sort of content. She had Lacross by her side, someone who seemed to understand exactly what she was going through, but on a different level. They both had been shunned for being different, thrown out of society when she knew that they didn't deserve that. At least he didn't. Sadie saw the brilliant, sensitive mind that came out when she spoke to him, not the animal-like movements, or the way he looked. Why did that matter? What happened to not judging a book by it's cover? However, she was only reading the back of the book with him, and she knew it. But it didn't stop her from sinking against him, finding comfort in his understanding. It was kind of nice.
That was, until the shit hit the fan. Didn't it always? Sadie cringed as Molly started to wail, instantly drawing into herself and making a small noise of discontent. "Stop it." She whispered to herself, clamping her arms over sensitive ears. If there was one thing she couldn't take, it was that. Make it stop, make her stop, make it stop. She could do what Sadie couldn't, and it hurt, it hurt like someone had killed her father all over again. For the love of mercy, make it stop. She didn't speak, or protest, and even kick, she just grew rigid, trying to block it out. Block it all out. Make it go away. She couldn't look at Molly, not now. It stopped for a moment, but Sadie didn't move. She just hid, like someone had slapped her, hands clamped hard over her ears. She was angry, upset, frustrated. But who could tell? There was nothing more than the bright red her cheeks flushed, her eyes squeezed tightly, her hands over her ears. There were no screams of anger, no threatening movements, nothing to suggest that she was anything but annoyed with the noise. It all practically vibrated inside her, like an unattended cell phone.
Ring, ring, ring, ring. It would keep going, no matter how hard she tried to answer it, the buttons just didn't work. Someone had locked the screen. Sadie shuddered, trying to shake it off. The flash of agitation made her queasy at best. Why did she have to do that? Why couldn't she just say what she wanted? There was something about her, something about her that frustrated Sadie. She couldn't grasp reality, but at least she could express her agony. She could howl, scream, kick, anything to get her out of whatever situation displeased her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!
But she didn't speak. She lowered her hands from her ears, opening dark eyes to stare at the girl. What the hell did she want? She'd attracted her attention, now what did she want? Sadie stared at her, dark eyes intense as she tried to read her. What exactly was so wrong that she had to scream like a child? "Use your words." She demanded sharply.
Lacross stared up, up at a clear view at the moon. The ever present eye that he saw when he was awake and watched over him through the night. He smiled at the moon's light shining on the group that had gathered here. That is, until an ear piercing broke his line of thinking. It was molly, seemingly her body had locked up on her self. For a moment, he was about to shake her, seeing as it caused sadie irritation. Then he started to look where she was looking. She was desperat about something, and looking straight at the silver haired boy. She wanted his attention, yet Sadie was missinturprating it. He knew how to speak without words, interpretation was the key.
"Sadie, I don't it's yours she wants." she said with his eyes pointing toward molly's eyes as he turned to her. He put a hand on molly's shoulder, whispering something under his breath. His eyes closed, the whispering turning into a low hum that turned into a tune of some sort. He was trying to calm her, trying to help her in a why he knew how. Softly tapping his nails on her back as he did. He fell into a trance-like state, he eyes where closed and the humming continued but he started to sway back and forth some.
Molly heard in the distance Sadie's and Lacross' voices speaking. Maybe they were speaking to her, maybe not. Then she felt the hand on her back and she jumped. The soft melody came floating over the bridge to her world from their world. The music quieted the forms in her head and loosed the chains from her chest. Her mouth, however, was still fettered, and she struggled to communicate. She reluctantly broke her gaze from the silver-haired leader and searched for the location of the music. The owner of the hand and the owner of the music were one and the same - Lacross. Lacross? How had he heard her cry for help? It hadn't been intended for him. Then she noticed that most of the people around her were looking at her.
The cold, hard Molly from the land of reality surged to the forefront. She hated it when this happened. When she tried to just get the attention of one person, one important, vital person, but instead gets the attention of everyone in the room because her inability to communicate. Words were magical. Not everyone had them, as was evidenced by the girl's lack of them. They made beings able to communicate precisely what they wanted to precisely who they wanted, precisely when they wanted. So why did people take them for granted? She hadn't wanted the attention of the whole room. Just that silver cure. Then she remembered another cure - Lacross had banished her mind's inventions with his music. Remembering now, she turned her head around to look at Lacross, who was swaying back and forth, much like Molly did when she was trying to quiet her mind. His eyes were closed, but she whispered to him, "Thank-you." Then she shuddered and looked at the floor.
She wanted to crawl into a crack and die. She had just bared her feelings in front of all these people in a shameless, primal way, and now... Everyone is mad with you now. I told you they didn't want you here. "You were right." Molly sobbed, slumping down. She felt the irritation in Sadie and several others near her. It bored into her mind like a drill, overbearing the tranquility brought on by Lacross' song. All hope of the silver-headed cure now gone from her mind, she covered her ears and shut her eyes tight. She hated this. Hated herself, hated the situation, hated the indifference of those who could have cured her earlier. So, as she was wont to do, she allowed her sane conciousness to slip from the front of her mind and lurk in the dark corners, seeing non-existent shapes in the shadows.
She opened her eyes and they wandered, stained with tears and hopeless. They skipped across the sea of angry faces, then landed on The Cure. The look she gave him was bordering on worship. "You have to help us." she pleaded slowly, sounding confused and lost. "We came for the mercury, and we heard the pulsing heart." she nodded toward the drum and suddenly began speaking very quickly. "We have to inject it with the mercury the poison will then numb it and we can do the surgery." Smiling, she continued, quoting something. "Forty two year old, double bypass post-op. Prognosis was positive. BP's sixty over twenty, pulse is thready." The look on her face turned to betrayal. "Explain to me how you justify administering a vasoconstrictor to this patient!"
Lacross smiled softly once Molly woke up from her tantrum, but soon changed to confusion. The look of worship on her face made him tilt his head, and made him back away from her once she started talking nonsence. He never thought anything about him was even worthy of worship, maybe a compainon if the person is willing to not judge. But never worship. Then the crazy started. His put his face into his hand in a mixture of annoyance and regret. "How would I justify something if I don't even know what that is...." He muttered, growling answer. He was hoping that this meeting would get underway soon, part of him wanted to outright pounce on the women to shut her up. But he resisted. He glanced over to sadie and sighed. Something about this other woman that helped him hold back his urges of violence, he couldn't place what though. Lacross caught himself looking her up and down and quickly turned away from her, his face red and breathing quick for the first time in years. He quickly composed himself again, faking a yawn to hide his glances from her and the others.
Svean was surprised by the sudden tantrum of Molly.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he tried to approach them. "I didn't realize-"
"Svean! Matryum Woke up! She's Coming this way!!!" Crow called down and Svean swore.
"What happened to the sleeping pills?"
"Don't know. But Rick radioed in and said she woke up. We have to go. Where's the next meeting going to be?"
"The old bridge across the woods, the day after tomorrow. I'll get these three before i head out." he called back and the crowd dispersed in an instant. "Molly. Molly love. We have to go but make sure you come again. Lacross Sorry that i looked up your names but please come again. Don't come back here though. Since this is the last meeting spot Matryum will set some people up here to try and see where we go. Sadie, I know you didn't want to come but I'm glad you did. Now quickly go. She's coming. I'll lead her away but make sure you don't say a word about this. Not even to other members. I can't explain right now but you have to leave. I'll tell you everything next meeting. Go!" he turned quickly and ran towards Matryum's quarters and started to howl, bringing attention to himself as he disappeared into the shadows.
Sadie cringed, staring at Mollie as she went from violent to just plain strange. Why did she act like that? Was that wrong, too? Still, a spark of envy built into a small flame in her. She had all ways to express herself. She could scream, cry, and people would come. Even Lacross. Someone would come. Someone would make it okay. It looked so easy. But Sadie couldn't bring herself to do it. Insecurity, the wall she had built around every emotion that hid down in her heart. It was there, and it poked at her from time to time, but it wouldn't come out. This was a disaster. What a raging mess. She shrunk into herself as things started to shatter into a mess. "Don't listen to her bullshit," Sadie spat at Lacross when he looked at her, not angry with him, but with Molly, for wasting what she thought as a precious opportunity to get better. She, even with jumbled words, had the opportunity to explain her confusion and pain, and instead chose to channel it in the wrong way and confuse everyone.
Sadie didn't understand mental illness in the least-she was only concerned with getting out, which was a selfish notion, but she had never spoke of herself as the best friend in the world. All she knew lately was bitterness and fear, and shielding herself with it was the only way she had to keep from completely cracking and downing another bottle of aspirin. Bitterness was better than pain and fear was better than vulnerability, she swore to it. It was when another patient yelled that the Matryum was awake that she froze in place. Punishment. It was only going to get worse. Something about a meeting next week. She flinched when the leader started to make a commotion, drawing the attention to himself. She looked at Molly, then at Lacross, sort of torn, a flash of indecision masking her face for a moment before she let instinct take over. Everything had been ruined. It had been smashed, and torn apart. Sadie had been let down once again. When she scatttered into her room, she felt something strange. It was a new frustration, that she had even decided to have hope in that meeting. It wasn't going to do anything. Nothing at all. She sunk down against her door, pressing against it to keep any nurses from coming in--despite her slight frame being easy to push away from the door, and pressed her knees to her chest.
What was she supposed to do? Go again? Hope Molly didn't try to blow their ear drums again? She wanted to scream in anger, stamp her feet, bawl like a little girl. But she didn't. She couldn't. Sadie sat in silence, waiting for the nurses to do their rounds, waiting for things to calm down. Bottling it up, letting it simmer, the worst thing she could do. It was late in the night that she let go. It wasn't quite tears, and nothing more than a whimper. It sounded like it echoed through the halls to her, but it could barely be heard from the other side of her door. Progress. Painfully slow, seemingly backwards progress. She would wait until the next meeting to see if it was worth the agony.
Lacross perked up at the electricity of panic and frenzy in the air, people started to scatter like a herd of deer at the sight of wolves. He nodded toward the silver haired boy and watched him make a run for it and howling as he went. He then looked toward Sadie and started to nudge her in the direction down the hall. At this point, he didn't care that he didn't get any questions answered, all that mattered was getting out out here with everyone in tact.
And just like that, Lacross sped off like a cat on the trail of an escaping deer. He sped past a couple of the other members on route to his own room, but made a quick stop in the abandoned hallways. He stalked inside one of the unfinshed rooms, now almost fully given into his animal urges, picked up some books that were in the corner and ran off again. Knocking over some nurses that where in the halls as he approached his room. He locked the door behind him once he entered. Panting, growling and stalking the room once he hide his papers under his bed. Something in him snapped and caused his decent into beast hood. He roared out into the night air in his room as the moon's light poured in. He clawed at the walls of his room and howled bloody murder. This is what he really was behind the mask of humanity, beastal, un-hinged, and unable to be controlled other then the thin veil of humanity he kept up when people where about. The night was his time rage and anger since he had been here, but also his time of sorrow. In all his years that he howled to his pale lady, his howls had a sorrowful note to them. For the first time in years, he craved the warmth of another. He clawed at the door again, and falling to the ground again and howling to the moon in his isolation. Waiting for his humanity in the morning that left him passed out and weak in the morning. Nontheless, the he howled and roared the night on.
Molly watched in desperation as everything fell apart. It wasn't her mind this time, it was reality. Something real was actually destroyed. It was strangely comforting. Now Sadie, Lacross, the Cure, and all the other patients had to feel the exact same way she felt every second of every day. She sat for six long seconds, both savoring the moment and trying to get her mind to function. 'RUN!' she screamed to herself. 'Get up and run!' But she couldn't make herself move into action. Her mind was working on something, trying to figure it out without taking her with it. 'Come on come on come on!' Finally she emerged into reality. It felt like a cold splash of water. She took a deep breath because she felt like she hadn't been breathing, then stood up and sprinted full-tilt down the hall.
Tears were streaming down her face as she slammed to door to her room shut. She wiped them away. She hated them so much. She didn't want to be like this - constantly requiring attention, always crying or screaming or something, but that was who she was. She cursed it to hell, but there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. She marched over to the picture of her parents that sat beside her bed. She stared at her mother in hatred. 'Why?!' she asked her silently. 'Why didn't you believe me and get me the help I needed?! I hate you!' But then she felt bad. She loved her mother. Her mother was just too busy for Molly, that was all. You're not that important, see? She didn't need to get what you asked for in order to love you. She still loves you, but you take up too much of her time. She doesn't have anymore for you. "Shut up!" Molly whispered fiercely. But she knew that the form was right. Something told her that it was right. Her gaze drifted to her father, and her eyes stung with tears again. "I love you... so much. Why did you let them take me away? I miss you. You always had the words to say what I could not." Then the girl smiled through her tears. She had just spoken to him. Spoken well and articulately. Why couldn't that happen when he was standing in front of her? Or anyone, for that matter? Then that thought reminded her of the meeting that night. The form in her head was angry, spitting and hissing and shrieking. You RUINED it! You freak, you just had to go off screaming and wailing and wake that lady up! You have NO justification for what you did. They all HATE you now. Don't go back. EVER. "No." Molly whimpered. "You don't know that she woke up because of me. You don't know that!" Oh, I do. I know more than you. I can see, you can't, remember? So shut up and stay in your room. Don't open your mouth or move from that bed, because every time you do you ruin something. Do as I say! "But The Cure told me to make sure I come again! He SAID THAT!" He was lying so that he didn't hurt your feelings. People are too gingerly with you. It's a good thing I'm not, or you would never know what they really think of you. He doesn't want you to come back, and neither does that girl, Sadie. Molly was about to submit. "But Lacross?" she said weakly. "What about him?" There was silence. The form had left. "Hello?" Molly called out. But he was gone. They were all gone.