Gnome Quotes
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"This doesnt mean youre getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess Ill have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "Im old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But youre not."
— Ilona Andrews —
"Dreams are pathways for the heart.
- Reminim the gnome"
— T. William Watts
"Trust not in Sprites nor the motivations of a Gnome."
— Jefferson Smith
"When Loughner himself speaks and we find out his real influences are Spiderman, 'Gnome Chomsky,' Taylor Swift, and Dr. Bronner, then what?"
— Walter Kirn
"America is a crippled giant, England is a sick gnome."
— David Hare
"If you were very, very small, smaller than a leprechaun, smaller than a gnome or a fairy, and you lived in a vagina, every time a penis came in there would be a natural disaster. Your dishes would fall out of the cupboards and break and the furniture slide all the way to the other side of the room. It would take a long time to clean up afterwards."
— Mary Ruefle
"Martha spouted off a long message to the gnome, including all the details of my injuries, precisely where I was, and who Martha was and her son Helmut. When she asked the gnome to repeat the message, he got it all mixed up, and so she did it again and made it longer, but he still got it all mixed up, and so they went back and forth, and finally Martha lost patience and threw him out the window. The gnome scurried away chanting, Red for message! Red for message!"
— Liesl Shurtliff
"I'd just met a talking garden gnome and the nightmare version of My Little Pony."
— Nicole Peeler
"Twinkle the Destroyer wasn't alone, it seemed. There were more gnomes than I thought. Pip the Bringer of Pain, Chauncey the Devourer of Souls, Cuddly the Inexplicable, Gnoman Polanski, Pith the Bitey, Gnome ChompSky, Gnomie Malone, Chuck the Norriser- the list went on.
'It's like a mishmash of violent imagery, TV, an political references'
'I told you they like TV. I'm not sure the understand everything they see, though, so they don't fully grasp what they're stealing their names from. Like, I think Gnome ChompSky just thought it sounded tough and Chuck the Norriser came from watching too many episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger. They believe Chuck Norris is a demigod'
'Who doesn't?"
— Lish McBride
"Why are you crying?" shivered the otter. "Because I am cold!" shouted the gnome. "Then why are you shouting?" chattered the otter. "Because," yelled the gnome, "when I shout it gets part of the cold from the inside out."
— Stephen Cosgrove
"Gnome money is better than no money, but just by a few feet."
— Jarod Kintz
"If I ever figured out how to go back in time, I'd tell my nine-year-old self to run the other way when a gnome showed up in her room promising a life of magic and adventure."
— Anna Staniszewski
"Driest displayed the intricate hand and facial combinations of the silent drow code, and he briefly entertained the notion of teaching the language to Belwar. The deep gnome promptly burst into loud and rolling laughter. His dark eyes looked incredulously at Drizzt, and he led the drow's gaze down to the ends of his arms. With a hammer and a pickaxe for hands, the svirfneblin could hardly muster enough gestures to make the effort worthwhile."
— R.A. Salvatore
"Still,I knew when I was being lied to. And I was never taking the trash out for that ratty gnome again."
— Kiersten White
"Bidding the wizard farewell, he turned to his daughter, who held up her finger
and said, "Daddy, look - one of the gnomes actually bit me!"
"How wonderful! Gnome saliva is enormously beneficial!" said Mr. Lovegood, seizing Luna's outstretched finger and examining the bleeding puncture marks. "Luna, my love, if you should feel any burgeoning talent today - perhaps an unexpected urge to sing opera or to declaim in Mermish - do not repress it! You may have been gifted by the Gernumblies!"
Ron, passing them in the opposite direction, let out a loud snort."
"Fred, George, Harry, and Ron were the only ones who knew that the angel on top of the tree was actually a garden gnome that had bitten Fred on the ankle as he pulled up carrots for Christmas dinner. Stupefied, painted gold, stuffed into a miniature tutu and with small wings glued to its back, it glowered down at them all, the ugliest angel Harry had ever seen, with a large bald head like a potato and rather hairy feet."
"I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders."
— Eoin Colfer
"I need gnome books. You know, because sorcerers just don't get them. He didn't get the joke."
— Chloe Neill
"Hi. I'm Thom. With an 'h'."
I tell him, "I'm Gnorah. With a 'g'. The 'g' is silent. Like 'gnome.'"
"Really?" Thom says.
"No, not really. I have an 'h' too. At the end. Used to be just N-O-R-A but when I had the H legally added to my name after my dad failed to sign up Norah Jones when he had the chance. I don't like him to forget these things easily."
— David Levithan
"We cannot choose one desktop over the other - Gnome or KDE - because there's users for both code bases."
— Miguel De Icaza
"In the GNOME project we tried to keep the platform language independent."
"You want to get married? I'll marry you right now. Is the gnome a preacher, because I'll do it."
"That's a hell of a proposal."
"What did he say?" Astamur asked.
"He wants me to marry him."
Astamur relayed it. Atsany waved his pipe and Astamur translated back. Ha!
"What?" Curran Snarled.
"Atsany says you're not ready for marriage. You don't have the right temperament for it."
Curran struggled with that for a second
"Let me know if your head's going to explode, so I can duck."
— Ilona Andrews
"So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man."
"Yep"
"What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn?"
"This doesn't mean you're getting a discount."
Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then."
Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!"
Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not."
"As a composer and as a musician I'm a true believer - and this is not to be overly diplomatic - I'm a believer that there's artistry in everything from a lawn gnome to a desk chair to a symphony to an Andy Warhol painting. There's art in absolutely everything."
— Darren Criss
"OS X is sweet: it's simple and intuitive, and I think GNOME shares a lot of values with it."
— Nat Friedman
"The classic example of this is modeling sock gnome transactions. As we all know, sock gnomes take one of a pair of socks from clothes dryers worldwide. They use these socks to incubate their young. In return for this "gift", sock gnomes protect your home from El Chupacabra. If you haven't been visited by El Chupacabra lately, you have sock gnomes to thank."
— Anonymous.
"Now there are five rules that separate Good from Evil, the gnome said, and wrote them in air with his smoking staff. 1. The Evil attack. The Good defend. 2. The Evil punish. The Good forgive. 3. The Evil hurt. The Good help. 4. The Evil take. The Good give. 5. The Evil hate. The Good love."
— Soman Chainani
"I sang out the words unflinchingly though, as I stomped around the toadstool in clouds of church-basement dust, with a damp Gnome hand clutched in each of mine."
— Margaret Atwood
"We will simply say here that, as a means of contrast with the sublime, the grotesque is, in our view, the richest source that nature can offer art. Rubens so understood it, doubtless, when it pleased him to introduce the hideous features of a court dwarf amid his exhibitions of royal magnificence, coronations and splendid ceremonial.
The universal beauty which the ancients solemnly laid upon everything, is not without monotony; the same impression repeated again and again may prove fatiguing at last. Sublime upon sublime scarcely presents a contrast, and we need a little rest from everything, even the beautiful.
On the other hand, the grotesque seems to be a halting-place, a mean term, a starting-point whence one rises toward the beautiful with a fresher and keener perception. The salamander gives relief to the water-sprite; the gnome heightens the charm of the sylph."
"The gnome grinned manically in front of him. "You're mocking me," Merrick said to the statue. "But perhaps you should take a look at your outfit before you judge anyone else."
— Kate Perry
"Everyone called it losing Mother, but she wasn't lost. She was gone, and no matter where I went - another town, another country, Fairyland, or Gnome Caverns - I wouldn't find her"
— Gail Carson Levine
"The drab brown front of the house made it look as if it had been built from rusty spare parts. Someone always put lace curtains in the windows of dreary houses, and Nick was unsurprised to see the curtains making their attempts in every window of this place. There was a china garden gnome on the doorstep, wearing a desperate, crazy smile.
"It's not so bad," Alan said.
"You never take me nice places anymore, baby." said Nick, and was mildly gratified by Alan's ring of laughter, like a living bell that had been caught by surprise when it was struck."
— Sarah Rees Brennan
"As a kid, I imagined lots of different scenarios for my life. I would be an astronaut. Maybe a cartoonist. A famous explorer or rock star. Never once did I see myself standing under the window of a house belonging to some druggie named Carbine, waiting for his yard gnome to steal his stash so I could get a cab back to a cheap motel where my friend, a neurotic, death-obsessed dwarf, was waiting for me so we could get on the road to an undefined place and a mysterious Dr. X, who would cure me of mad cow disease and stop a band of dark energy from destroying the universe."
— Libba Bray
"The world's most bada** Viking yard gnome is on the counter by the cash register using a dinner plates as a shield and a steak knife as a sword"
"There's a lot of foot stomping, clapping, and cheering. I just want to win some cash and find my yard gnome. It's not a lot to ask."
"She sat in the dew-damp grass and ripped up clumps of it, tossing them in the air and feeling vaguely guilty about it. Some gnome ought to pop out of the tree and scold her for torturing the lawn."
— Holly Black
"I make it a point of honour to have a couple of gnomes in my garden as silent testimony to the right of gnome-lovers everywhere to do their own thing without fear of snide remarks."
— Richard Briers
"Nice of you to care, gnome girl. He tapped his cheeks, grinning now."
— Anne Eliot
"I'm nobody's sidekick," Annabeth growled. "And, Percy, his accent sounds familiar because he sounds like his mother. We killed her in New Jersey."
Percy frowned. "I'm pretty sure that accent isn't New Jersey. Who's his-? Oh."
It all fell into place. Aunty Em's Garden Gnome Emporium-the lair of Medusa. She'd talked with that same accent, at least until Percy had cut off her head.
"Medusa is your mom?" he asked. "Dude, that sucks for you."
— Rick Riordan
"His woolly grey hair, short thick body, air of perpetual busyness, suggested an industrious gnome conscripted into the service of the army; a gnome who also liked to practise considerable malice against the race of men with whom he mingled, by making as complicated as possible every transaction they had to execute through himself."
— Anthony Powell
"As Mono matures, people will begin to use it to write desktop components that take advantage of all the hard work thats gone into some of the meatier GNOME libraries, as well as the nifty language features of C#."
"You don't even know the sequences to the Human-Gnome Project, you haven't come to terms with your God yet."
— Canibus
"If I ever wanted a gnome, I guess Id just stand out on my lawn for a while."
— Johnny Christ
"Drab Habitation of Whom? Tabernacle or Tomb - or Dome of Worm - or Porch of Gnome - or some Elf's Catacomb?"
— Emily Dickinson
"This really blew my mind, the fact that me, an over fed, long haired, leaping gnome, should be the star of a Hollywood movie."
— Eric Burdon
"Gnomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high-speed mouse. That's one reason why most humans hardly ever see them. The other is that humans are very good at not seeing things they know aren't there. And, since sensible humans know that there are no such things as people four inches high, a gnome who doesn't want to be seen probably won't be seen ... Wings."
— Terry Pratchett
"Often your 'fixes' are actually removing capabilities that you had, because they were 'too confusing to the user'. GNOME seems to be developed by interface Nazis, where consistently the excuse for not doing something is not 'it's too complicated to do', but 'it would confuse users'."
— Linus Torvalds
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