Lori Loughlin's Daughter Returns Home. No, the Other One.
Emily Alford
As far as we know, Olivia Jade is still on the yacht preparing her tearful explainer video while her sister Isabella Giannulli is home with her parents amid the college admissions bribery fallout.
If you're unfamiliar with this story, go back to Tuesday and read every headline published anywhere, but here's the long and short of it: a bunch of rich people are accused of behaving typically, Hallmark Channel darling Lori Loughlin is one of the accused, and her Instagram influencer daughter, Olivia Jade, is still vacationing on a USC official's yacht in the Bahamas because every detail of this story is the most disgusting detail of this story.
Anyway, there's a second daughter and she must have had enough free time to come home and be photographed by paparazzi outside their home wearing a hoodie designed by Kanye and Kid Cudi (for some reason, even that detail irks me). At least she's taking seriously the filial responsibility of consoling the parents who saved her the unimaginable horror of attending Arizona State, at least according to an email her father allegedly sent William Singer, the man who plead guilty to running this whole thing:
"We just met with [our older daughter's] college counselor this am. I'd like to maybe sit with you after your session with the girls as I have some concerns and want to fully understand the game plan and make sure we have a roadmap for success as it relates to [our daughter] and getting her into a school other than ASU (the Arizona State University)!"
At least he avoided having to tell people his kid went to ASU.
[Hollywood Life]
If you weren't already convinced of America's rapid decline, look at this blunt smoking asshole defend his parents, who are accused of paying to have their daughter's standardized test scores boosted, while suggesting they're the real victims in all this:
"They're blowing this whole thing out of proportion," said Malcolm Abbott outside the home that overlooks the Metropolitan Museum of Art. "I believe everyone has a right to go to college, man."
He's got a rap album called Cheese and Crackers featuring a song called "If I Lost My Money" and his flaccid little blunt is pathetic.
[New York Post]
No one wants to be friends with Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli anymore, but judging from the way sources talk about them in this piece, it doesn't seem like many ever particularly enjoyed their company. [People]
Sort of good news: The new Pauly D and Vinny Guadagnino reality dating show will finally fill the Rock of Love-sized void in our hearts. [Page Six]
Actual good news: Chance the Rapper and Kirsten Corley are having a baby girl. Good for you! [Page Six]