Farage, Nigel: Motormouth MEP. He's coming back (to the extent that he ever shows up). | Ben Stansall/AFP via Getty Images
Do you speak European Parliament?
POLITICO helps translate the EU jargon.
By	Paul Dallison
7/8/19, 3:38 AM CET
Updated 7/8/19, 11:24 AM CET
This article is part of POLITICO's MEP Survival Guide, an introduction to the Brussels bubble and the European Parliament.
Welcome to the European Parliament, new MEP/staffer. It almost certainly seems a bit strange, so here's a list of EU terms you might find useful as you get to know the place.
Acquis. Body of common rights and obligations that are binding on all EU countries. Also, national fruit of Jamaica (delicious when cooked with saltfish).
AFCO. Constitutional Affairs Committee. Sounds like a cheap supermarket.
AFET. Foreign Affairs Committee. Has two sub-committees: DROI (human rights) and SEDE (security and development).
AGRI. Agriculture and Rural Development Committee.
Assistants. Accredited assistants are your helpers in Brussels, Luxembourg or Strasbourg and are employed directly by the Parliament. Local assistants (or spouses) are your helpers in your own country but must work on Parliament business (unless you are from a far right-party, but then you'll probably get fined).
Bars, Strasbourg. Flower, Swan, Press. Places to schmooze, booze and scheme with colleagues.
Bono. He's bound to turn up.
BUDG. Budgets Committee (not to be confused with CONT).
Bureau, the. The senior team — president, vice presidents and quaestors. Unlikely to exchange foreign currency for you, or assassinate people. Though they might.
CA. Compromise amendment, aka a fudge.
CAP. Common Agriculture Policy. The thing everyone is always promising to reform. Allows Europe's cows to fly first class. Anywhere.
CFP. Common Fisheries Policy. A vast corpus of rules on throwing undersized herrings back.
COCOBU. This summer's must-have coconut-based cocktail. Beach Boys hit. Also, acronym for the Budgetary Control Committee.
Codecision. The ordinary legislative procedure — when the Parliament is on an equal footing with the Council in the legislative process. (The special legislative procedure is when the Parliament has a consultative role.)
Conference of Presidents. The president of the Parliament plus the leaders of the political groups. When they open the good biscuits.
Comitology. A bit like meteorology. Process by which EU law is modified or adjusted.
CONT. Budgetary Control Committee (not to be confused with BUDG). See also COCOBU.
Coreper I. Meetings of deputy ambassadors to the EU.
Coreper II. Meetings of ambassadors to the EU. Somehow better than the original.
Coreper III. Weak third part of the Coreper franchise, starring Jason Statham.
Council of the European Union. Formerly known as the Council of Ministers. Gatherings of national ministers. Not to be confused with European Council or Council of Europe. Seriously, they couldn't think of something different?
Council of Europe. International (not EU) human rights organization. Not to be confused with European Council or Council of the European Union. (Unless you are British, in which case just go ahead and confuse them all. Why break the habit of a lifetime?)
CULT. Culture and Education Committee (not an actual cult, as far as we know).
Delegations. Groups of MEPs dealing with relations with far-flung places. Membership involves travel. Places with sunshine/beaches unsurprisingly more popular than places with warlords.
DEVE. Development Committee. Also, Albanian for "camel."
ECON. A mission behind enemy lines with the Economic and Monetary Affairs Committee.
ECR: European Conservatives and Reformists (political group founded by ex-British Prime Minister, now shed-dweller, David Cameron).
EMPL. Employment and Social Affairs Committee.
ENVI. Environment, Public Health and Food Safety Committee. No one is envious of it.
EPP. European People's Party (conservatives).
Eurocrats. You and everyone you know.
European Commission. Proposes legislation, implements decisions and manages the day-to-day business of the EU. The civil service, basically.
European Council. Meetings of EU heads of state or government. Usually held in Brussels. Always go on far too late. Not to be confused with Council of the European Union or Council of Europe.
Far right. There'll be lots of them around (or not around), many under the direction of that nice Mr. Salvini.
Farage, Nigel: Motormouth MEP. He's coming back (to the extent that he ever shows up).
FEMM. Women's Rights and Gender Equality Committee.
Four-column document: Sets out the positions of the three main EU institutions on legislation before discussions begin. Often so long it breaks printers.
Friday. Day off (see also Saturday, Sunday and Thursday afternoon).
General Expenditure Allowance: €4,513 per cat per month.
Green week: Nothing to do with climate change. It's a week when MEPs are "working" back in their constituencies.
Greens/EFA: Greens-European Free Alliance (that's Greens plus regionalist and left-wing nationalist political parties).
GUE/NGL: European United Left-Nordic Green Left (lefties).
Hemicycle. Easier to pedal than a unicycle. Also big room where MEPs vote (German MEPs call it the "hemisphere.")
INTA. International Trade Committee. Not as good at football as the Milan trade committee.
ITRE. Industry, Research and Energy Committee.
Identity and Democracy. New group featuring Italy's League and France's National Rally. Name is 50 percent accurate.
IMCO. Internal Market and Consumer Protection Committee. Locked in a long-running, no-holds-barred nomenclature battle with the Investment Management Corporation of Ontario.
JURI. Legal Affairs Committee (not an actual jury).
Kehl. German town just over the border from Strasbourg where gambling is legal and cigarettes are cheap. Pros: Seedy bars, drab architecture and roadside sex workers. Cons: Seedy bars, drab architecture and roadside sex workers.
Kork. A few kilometers away from Kehl. Many German MEPs stay here during plenary sessions. Not to be confused with Cork, Ireland, which would be a heck of a commute.
Languages (official). There are 24 of them. Frans Timmermans speaks them all. Luxembourgish is not one of the official languages. Nobody has understood a word Jean-Claude Juncker has said since 2014.
LIBE. Civil Liberties, Justice and Home Affairs Committee.
Lobbyists. Everyone who wants to have coffee with you.
Luxembourg. Home to much of the Parliament's administration. Nice to visit (for an hour).
Luxembourg, Place du. Square in front of the Parliament building in Brussels. Best place in the world/worst place in the world depending on your age/availability for sex/tolerance for Eurocrats.
Mickey Mouse bar. Bar on the third floor of the Parliament in Brussels. Named after the distinctive shape of its (now former) chairs. Definitely not because the Parliament is a Mickey Mouse institution.
MFF. If your best friend is also your mother. Also, the Multiannual Financial Framework (the EU's long-term budget, which lasts for seven years).
NI. Non-attached MEPs. Some do have partners. Others hold such awful views that this is unlikely.
Non-paper. A non-binding document (almost always on actual paper).
OLAF. Annoying snowman in Disney's "Frozen." Also, the EU's anti-fraud watchdog.
Ombudsman. EU watchdog. Incumbent is Emily O'Reilly, so ombudswoman would be better.
Parlamentarium. Tourist attraction at which you can pretend to be an MEP (see also Farage, Nigel).
PETI. Petitions Committee.
PECH. Fisheries Committee.
Plenary. Parliamentary session at which you are supposed to turn up.
Plenary bell. Rings to signal beginning/end of a sitting and upcoming votes. Like at the theater, if the play was about copyright.
Plux(ing). See Luxembourg, Place du.
Quaestors. In Ancient Rome, quaestors used to investigate murders. The modern equivalent is responsible for administrative and financial matters.
REGI. Regional Development Committee.
Renew Europe. New name for the alliance between Emmanuel Macron and what was called the Alliance of Liberals and Democrats for Europe. Macron doesn't like the word "liberals" (or "slackers").
Rules of procedure. How you are supposed to behave.
S&D. Progressive Alliance of Socialists and Democrats (center left).
Sakharov Prize. Annual human rights prize named after Russian physicist and activist Andrei Dmitrievich Sakharov.
Salary. €8,757.70 per month before tax (plus general expenditure allowance, plus travel expenses, plus daily subsistence allowance...)
Secretary-general. Top staffer.
Secretariat. Coordinates legislative work and organizes plenary sittings and meetings (also a famous horse).
Standing committees. Regular committees (they do have chairs).
Strasbourg. Official seat of the Parliament. The actual capital of Europe/a total waste of everyone's time and money (disregard that last bit depending on whether or not you are French).
Subsistence allowance. Daily cash.
Summits. The Parliament president gets a press conference at a Council summit of EU leaders. All journalists: "That reminds me, I must go to the toilet before the real work starts."
Tajani, Antonio. Italian mate of Silvio Berlusconi who was president of the Parliament. Notable achievements ... Nope, we've got nothing.
Train. It takes ages to get to Strasbourg by train. A little like the Hogwarts Express, except with booze and no magic.
TRAN. Transport and Tourism Committee.
Trilogue. Not trialogue. Three-way talks (Parliament, Council of the EU, Commission).
Verhofstadt, Guy. Shy, retiring former Belgian PM and leader of the Liberal MEPs. (By the time you read this, Emmanuel Macron may have banished him to the back of the chamber.)
Vice presidents. There were 14 (yes, you read that right) of them in the last Parliament. That's 13 too many.
VoxBox. Recording studios in Brussels and Strasbourg.
Weber, Manfred. German MEP. The next president of the European Commission (only joking).
Paul Dallison
pdallison@politico.eu
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