7 Men on How They Really Feel When a Woman Pays
By Kat George
Image Credit: Twenty20
As women move towards greater financial independence, the question of "who pays?" is an increasingly fraught one in heterosexual relationships between men and women. Some men prefer it the old-fashioned way, where the man is the provider, but others are more than happy for their empowered female counterparts to pay for a date, or even the rent. Here, seven real guys weigh in.
"I prefer to deal with what's "fair" based on the two people present -- in the case of bills or meals, with friends or partners. Sometimes that's 50/50, sometimes it depends on circumstances. More recently I paid for all meals out, my partner all meals at home, because on balance that better reflected our incomes." - Dave, 46, Co-Founder of a digital consultancy
"I'd have no problems with it if a woman wants to pay for stuff. Nothing emasculating about it for me, I'd enjoy not having to always pay for stuff." Craig*, 40, IT executive
"A first date, a super nice dinner, or something I initiate -- I generally feel like it's on me to pay and I won't really take no for an answer. I wouldn't feel lesser because a woman paid for my super nice dinner (I'd be thankful!), but there is some sort of confidence that gets built through the gesture and also shows a level of commitment in my eyes." Elroy, 23, Engineer
"I feel fine about it now, but I used to be the type of guy that would get anxious if the woman paid... I had to question why I was feeling that way. I figured it had something to do with control... It really took a conscious effort to let go... It feels good to take care of someone in that way, but that feeling should be shared by both people. Not everyone is like this, I have close friends that won't even date a woman if she makes more than him." Devon, 32, Solicitor
"Depends on the guy. Early in the relationship, I like to pay for dates. But as soon as we are dating I like it to be 50/50. I also would be thrilled if my girlfriend started making way more than me. I'm not even left-leaning btw." Julian, 27, Start-up manager
"Sometimes I like to treat my girlfriend, sometimes she likes to treat me, but mostly we split everything. Bottom line: if a person thinks that it matters which partner has "more" or is the "breadwinner" that speaks of insecurity. A man shouldn't have to have more money than his partner to feel "like a man." Tarrick, 35, Social worker
"On a first date, it'd be weird. Typically because the guy still does the asking, and if you're asking someone out, you should really pay. Any dates past that and we're doing 50/50 or alternating paying. It's 2017 woman, you can pay for your own damn food." Simon, 25, Journalist
*Some names have been changed to preserve anonymity.
What Is Going on With Rory Gilmore's Finances?
Here's How Much That Paris Trip in "Home Alone" Actually Cost
I'm Married & Still Rely on my Parents Financially
Cheap Birthday Ideas for a 14-Year-Old Boy
The Advantages & Disadvantages of Living With a Roommate
Sapling Holiday Juggle Newsletter