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In This Week's Episode…
Just over five years ago, Coach Sam Falsafi and Brandon James Duncan met at the gates of Warrior for the very first time and experienced the life-changing crucible, Warrior Week. What was going on in their lives when they first heard Garrett's message? What was Warrior Week #5 like for them? How have their lives changed in the last five years? You're bound to enjoy and resonate with the stories and experiences in this extraordinary episode of Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit.
* Be the Man Challenge, an adventure that will take you through six weeks of self-discovery and introduce you to some of the conversations and belief systems inside of the Warrior's Way. betheman.com
Parable #1: Origins: Brandon
"I was coming out of a really dark place. My father had passed away in 2011, and eight months before that, I became a dad. I was going through the journey of addiction, which sent me on a dark, depressing path for the next two years." Navigating all of these obstacles, Brandon was lost and confused. "I had no friendships with men that I could talk to about what I was experiencing. Sometimes I would stay up all night searching for answers online."
It was during that process when Brandon saw an ad on Facebook featuring Garrett, who was wearing an orange shirt and a surfer hat. "The message back then was still pretty much the same; it was just packaged differently. This was in 2013. This was the first time since my dad had passed away that I felt connected to another man in a way that was almost like a father figure."
As you look back over the dark times in your life, who or what drew you out of the darkness and into the light?
Parable #2: Origins: Coach Sam
Sam: It's very similar to how my mind was cracked open to receive the idea and concept of going to such an event. I didn't know anything about coaching or that such a thing even existed. I didn't know that you could even talk with other men about the relationship you have with your wife. I was raised with the mentality of, "It's my wife, so it's super private. I'm supposed to handle this because if I don't, I'm not a man."
Sam was new to CrossFit at the time and he had delved into the Tony Robbins community. And then, Garrett came into the mix. "I started respecting his message because it linked to the work I was doing, which was CrossFit. He would come out of the CrossFit gym all sweaty, still on fire, and turn on his phone to deliver a message about what he learned and how it applied to his life. It started opening a space in my head, and I knew that what this guy was saying was absolutely true."
When you were introduced to Warrior, what was the message from Garrett that resonated the most with you at the time?
Parable #3: Co-Parenting
"The gates of Warrior will always fucking expose you. There's no hiding unless you choose to hide." Recently, Sam came to the realization that his co-parenting has aways been random and lacking any real strategy. His thoughts have been, "Mom is giving them enough quality time, so it's okay for me to back off. If I'm there or not, they're not going to notice."
Brandon: When parenting our kids, meet them where they are. What worked when my daughter was six, is not going to be useful now that she's nine. I believe that as a dad if you can be present and patient, your relationship with your kids will be amazing. When you're present, you'll notice things you've never noticed before. Kids are present – that's all they know. As they seek our attention, they are simply seeking connection with us.
As you take a step back and look at your relationships, what can you do to be more present with the people that matter most to you?
Parable #4: Awareness & Alignment
Brandon: As men, a lot of the time, we tend to judge, label, and shame ourselves, which is not useful. Instead, acknowledge to yourself how you've been showing up and how, moving forward, this is how you intend to show up, which is more in alignment of who you are.
Sam explains that It begins by being brutally honest with yourself. "It is when we are in that space, that we actually have a chance – and that's exciting." Brandon adds, "When you're showing up as your absolute best self with your wife, what's that like for her? She's going to reflect that back to you and be a version of her best self. And from there, everything gets better."
How are you showing up in your life?
Parable #5: Connection
When it comes to connection, Brandon believes that when we are inside an environment where we feel the connection and energy of everyone around us, that energy begins to rise because we are all contributing to that experience.
"I believe we are all connected, and that we come from the same source, the same light, and the same energy. If more people could pause to truly bring some attention to this possibility, it would heal a lot of the trauma and soften a lot of the stress we are experiencing as a global society."
What do you do to contribute to the energy of others around you that uplifts and strengthens?
"When you see God in others, game fucking over."
—Sam Falsafi
"That which you seek is seeking you. If you can pause long enough to get really honest with yourself and ask yourself what you are truly seeking, you will see that the path to discovering that is already within your reach. Your willingness to go down that path is also your opportunity to discover that which you seek."
–Brandon James Duncan