Well, that was a year.
As you may have heard, a deadly pandemic sort of ruined the world in 2020. Vaccines are starting to roll out, so it may be less than a year before this all seems like a hazy dream. I guess that makes it important for me to write down how this affected me, because this period is deeply weird right now, but may fade to a trivial "wow 2020 was kind of crazy" blip in my memory if I don't preserve it.
Personally, I was in a best-case scenario for a pandemic to hit. I already worked from home for a company that was well set up to thrive in a world where everyone stays home. Much of the time, I actually like staying home, and having excuses to avoid social situations. We adopted a perfect dog, Pepper, just before the great dog shortage of 2020, who has made my life so much better, and allowed the part of my heart reserved for furry best friends to open up again.
So, 2020 was, for me, strangely fine?
That's not to say there was no suffering. Even those in a best-case scenario suffered. Meg briefly lost her job (twice) due to effects of the pandemic, which turned out to be more than okay, but the uncertainty sucked. More importantly, people I know lost family members directly to the virus, and I feel terrible for them, as well as angry at the monsters who still (still, after nearly a year of this) think it's "just the flu," or a tool of government control, or that wearing a mask for 15 minutes is too much discomfort to literally save someone's fucking life. My grandma died this year. Her death wasn't due to COVID-19, but the fact that she couldn't have a proper funeral with her geographically-dispersed family was.
I don't need / want constant parties or hugs from acquaintances, but a funeral would have been at least normal. I also miss just going to the coffee shop and getting a coffee and drinking that coffee there in the coffee shop. Maybe running into someone I know and chatting for a maximum of 5 minutes. That stuff is nice and I hope it comes back soon.
That was my life in 2020. Before I go on to my usual yearly review of music, movies, TV, and games, remember, I've started writing at the group blog Across the Board, so you can find more of my stuff there. It's mostly focused on writing, even though I didn't write much in 2020. I don't know why, but it's like a switch flipped as soon as lockdowns started, and I went into "just get through the day" mode. Since writing isn't my primary source of income, it faded away, and free time got taken up by activities that take as little thought as possible, like movies and video games. Writing is fun for me, but it's not an escape; in many ways, it's the opposite—an intense dive into the struggles of what it means to be human. Maybe I couldn't handle that in 2020. Maybe it wasn't healthy to avoid it. But I got through each day.
As usual, this is just an uncurated list of the top 20 albums I listened to most, courtesy of Last.FM.
First, some honourable mentions for albums that came out late in the year or didn't make it on the list for other reasons:
Doves - The Universal Want
JARV IS... - Beyond the Pale
Kiesza - Crave
Poppy - I Disagree
The Dears - Lovers Rock
Metallica - S&M 2
Miley Cyrus - Plastic Hearts
And the top 20:
20. BTS - Map of the Soul: 7
19. Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher
18. Pearl Jam - Gigaton
17. Cults - Host
16. Five Seconds of Summer - CALM
15. Taylor Swift - folklore
14. Thundercat - It Is What It Is
13. Glass Animals - Dreamland
12. Selena Gomez - Rare
11. Ellie Goulding - Brightest Blue
10. The Weeknd - After Hours
9. Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia
8. Yves Tumor - Heaven to a Tortured Mind
7. Hayley Williams - Petals for Armor
6. Carly Rae Jensen - Dedicated Side B
5. Tame Impala - The Slow Rush (I've started taking baths and listening to music this year, which lends itself to deeper indie music that can be slowly pondered, like Tame Impala's reflections on the passage of time)
4. Lady Gaga - Chromatica (Not her best, but decent)
3. Ozzy Osbourne - Ordinary Man (This album gives off the vibes of a much less subtle Blackstar, and if this is indeed Ozzy's last album, he went out on a high note)
2. In This Moment - Mother (They are always on this list; just can't get enough of this cheesy heavy shit)
1. Halsey - Manic (This is probably on top of the list because Halsey is on every radio station and playlist non-stop, but it is a good album too)
I liked these shows:
Song Exploder
Years and Years (I'm cheating because this didn't come out in 2020, but I loved this show a lot)
These are the best movies I saw in 2019. They may not have come out in 2019, who cares. I'm just listing recent-ish movies I rated 4+ stars on Letterboxd, so go there for full reviews.
The Art of Self Defence
Color Out of Space
Come to Daddy
In Fabric
Just Another Christmas
One Cut of the Dead
The Peanut Butter Falcon
Tell Me Who I Am
This was an active year for video games, after barely playing any in 2019.
I got an Oculus Quest, which is an affordable standalone virtual reality system. That really renewed my interest in games, but also in doing things in 3D electronic form that would have previously been done in person, like going to the gym and socializing.
I also got an Xbox Series X, which is a nice upgrade to the Xbox One. I don't know if I can go back to 30fps games now.
Here are the games I played and liked. Add me on Xbox Live or Nintendo or Oculus to play with me.
Xbox:
Assassin's Creed Valhalla - After ignoring this series for years, I got really into this game. Like, playing it for over 100 hours into it.
Watch Dogs: Legion - Everyone's talking about Cyberpunk as the unplayably glitchy sci-fi game of this year, but let's remember there's another buggy mess in Watch Dogs: Legion. I enjoy it, even if it's still hard to play with all the issues due to the rushed pandemic-time next gen..
Overcooked 2
Alan Wake - Which is ancient now, but I've been playing it off and on for 10 years, and finally finished it.
Overwatch - Still.
Nintendo Switch:
Hades - Just got this yesterday for the Switch, and loving it so far.
Animal Crossing: New Horizons - As usual with games like this, I played it every day for a few weeks, then suddenly stopped, with no interest in every playing again.
Oculus Quest and Mac:
Supernatural - Not really a "game," but a workout app that's gotten me moving in virtual reality on the Oculus Quest.
Pistol Whip
The Walking Dead: Saints and Sinners
The Jackbox Party Pack - Essential for Zoom hangouts with friends.
Okay, that's the year. I hope the next one is better, for me and for you and for everyone. Later.
Posted by Phronk at 3:11 PM
Labels: blogging, deep thoughts, movies / music / tv, news, real life, technology / video games, writing / books
A Book Cannot Be Murdered
Hi! I haven't blogged here much lately, but I have been writing over on a shared blog with some other writers. Check out Across the Board for some of my new stuff, mostly focused on writing. I'll also start gradually re-posting that stuff here whenever I get a chance, like this post.
This tweet made the rounds on Twitter earlier this year:
Many readers and writers were angry with the book murderer:
I have opinions on this debacle, as both a reader and as a writer.
First, as a reader, I can relate. I've never cut a book in half, but many of my longer books are worn to hell, mostly because I bought them used in the first place, then they spent a long time bouncing around in backpacks before I was done with them. Here are just a few of the books off my shelf from one of the masters of very long books:
Well-worn is well-loved. It marks the passage of time spent with the books, sometimes over multiple decades, if read more than once. I can still remember finding a private corner of my high school to avoid people and wear out that particular copy of It.
I like signs of book assault from other people, too. I'm reading a used biology book right now, and there are seemingly random words underlined throughout. Like someone before me thought "ah, yes, zygote, good word, gotta get out my pencil and underline that one so I can bring it up at a party later." It's a nice little connection with a stranger, because someone else didn't consider book mutilation a crime.
Tearing books in half is on a whole other level, but I can relate with that too. Especially as an adult, I have limited time for reading, and it can be daunting to see a thick wad of pages past my bookmark. If dividing it into two parts can make it easier to get through, then fine, be a book murderer. Lately, I just gravitate toward shorter books, but maybe next time a long book seems worth it, I'll consider introducing it to my scissors.
What about as a writer? How would I feel if somebody took a blade to my hard-won collection of ideas, which I so carefully printed onto pages and wrapped in a lovingly designed cover?
Honestly … fine. As long as you're reading my books, I don't care how you're transferring those ideas from my brain to yours.
Treat them like precious artifacts if you want. But also cut them up, highlight your favourite passages, dog-ear your favourite pages, stick them on an e-reader, listen to them as an audiobook, borrow them from a library, lend them, steal them, slice them in half.
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
A book is not the physical pages it's printed on—it's the ideas the pages only echo, and the cool thing about ideas is that they can never be murdered.
Labels: blogging, creative contributions to society, deep thoughts, recycled posts, writing / books
Why I'm Cutting Down on Artificial Sweeteners
I may have been wrong about artificial sweeteners. I've always been a big fan of them, because I love stuffing sweet things in my mouth, but also try to keep my daily calorie count somewhat reasonable.
Sweeteners also have an ideological draw—I love artificial things. I'm typing this on an artificial iPad, powered by artificial electricity, basking in artificial heat, under an artificial roof. So when I see people react with hostility to anything that isn't "natural" (whatever that even means), I push back. You think artificial sweeteners are poison because Splenda packets aren't plucked from the ground like potatoes? Well, then I'm gonna put Splenda on everything! I'll sprinkle it on beef I don't even care. Take that, hippy!
And in theory, my pettiness should be supported by science. If controlling weight is the goal, then all that matters is calories in and calories out, right? Sweeteners lead to fewer calories in, so they help control weight in a world where calories are frickin' everywhere. That's the theory.
The thing is, the best theory in the world is worthless without data. More and more data are coming out about artificial sweeteners, and the results often differ from what theory would predict.
Most data aren't conclusive. When you look at the whole population, people who use artificial sweeteners tend to be overweight. That's just a correlation—maybe bigger people are trying to lose weight with sweeteners. It's not evidence that sweeteners don't work, but it's a lack of evidence that sweeteners do work.
True experiments, in which people changed their intake of artificial sweeteners, would be more definitive if they showed an effect. Here's a recent meta-analysis reviewing studies on artificial sweeteners, including randomized controlled trials. The researchers concluded:
Evidence from [randomized controlled trials] does not clearly support the intended benefits of nonnutritive sweeteners for weight management.
So again, not evidence that they cause weight increases, or poison you, or have any negative effects. But also not evidence that they do have their intended effect: weight loss.
I've seen speculation and emerging research on why the theory doesn't match up with the data. Some people think it's a psychological thing—the classic "I had a Diet Coke, so I can order two Baconators instead of one" phenomenon. Some think it's more biological, with sweeteners mixing up the critters in our guts so they suck at dealing with the calories we do consume.
Whatever the case, there's simply a lack of evidence that artificial sweeteners help with weight loss, or have any other positive effects. When it comes to translating research into actual behavior, here's where I've come down, personally, for now:
Artificial sweeteners won't kill me, so I won't avoid them. I'll use up the packets and syrups that we have around the house.
But there's no evidence that they'll help me, either. That puts them on the same scientific level as any other bullshit health intervention, like eating organic food, fad diets, or acupuncture. I wouldn't do those things, so why continue slurping down Splenda?
Therefore, I'll reduce my intake of artificial sweeteners. I'll use sugar when I need it, or better yet, just have fewer sweeter things overall. If I have the will power for that, it'll almost certainly lead to fewer calories in, with no mysterious counteracting force.
That's where I currently stand, but I'm a scientist, so I'll keep updating my opinions and behaviour as new evidence comes out.
For now, I'm cutting down on artificial sweeteners.
This was originally posted on Medium.com, where I sometimes post serious stuff.
Posted by Phronk at 10:21 AM
Labels: food, psychology, real life, science
Another year, another complete failure to blog.
That's not entirely true. I occasionally write over on Medium, and have good intentions to copy the posts over here to my main blog sometime, but then forget. My micro-press Forest City Pulp also gets occasional updates. Oh and I've started writing at the group blog Across the Board, where a bunch of other writers write.
But this is my personal blog, so let's get personal. This year was fine for me. The political and environmental turmoil in the world only highlights how incredibly lucky I am to have had a year to hold stead and stay comfortable.
Not that I accomplished nothing. Early in the year, I released Three Incidents at Foster Manor, which has been my most successful novel yet. I'm hoping to put something out in early 2020, but, you know, having a day job takes up a lot of time. That's been going well too though, and the company I've been doing brain science for is almost growing beyond the "startup" label. Cool. Cool cool.
My personal highlight of the year was our trip to Calgary and the Pacific Northwest, visiting real friends and also Bigfoot.
Oh, and I got a nice bike! I've become one of those bike guys, semi-obsessed with getting around on two wheels and giving cars the stink-eye. It does feel so much better to go places on a bike though, both because it makes me healthier and because it's just fun. More bike lanes in London please thanks bye.
Anyway, this is the time of year when I review all the stuff I liked in 2019. Here's what I spent my time and money on; maybe you'll find some stuff you missed, but probably not (I'm pretty much a normie).
20. Deerhunter - Why Hasn't Everything Already Disappeared?
19. Silversun Pickups - Widow's Weeds
18. Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell
17. Bring Me the Horizon - amo
16. Orville Peck - Pony
15. Hozier - Wasteland, Baby!
14. Cage the Elephant - Social Cues
13. Backstreet Boys - DNA
12. Taylor Swift - Lover
11. half•alive - Now, Not Yet
10. Tool - Fear Inoculum - I first listened to this on headphones riding the Amtrak between Seattle and Portland, and it was a transcendent experience.
9. The Black Keys - "Let's Rock" - I cannot resist a David Lynch reference.
8. Mitski - Be the Cowboy - Ok I'll be the cowboy sounds good.
7. Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? - William Eyelash.
6. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride - Did you know there was a character with a named pronounced like Phronk in the movie Father of the Bride? That's not where I got it though.
5. Alice Merton - MINT - As you may have noticed, albums by solo women were sort of my thing this year.
4. Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project - I listened to and tracked a lot of pop playlists on Spotify this year, and I suspect this album is only high on this list because each individual song was played endlessly on pop stations.
3. Flying Lotus - Flamagra - I don't actually remember much of this, but I guess I liked it? I think there is a track with David Lynch on this so maybe that's why it's here.
2. Puppy - The Goat - Sort of a metal Weezer, which I dig.
1. (Tie) Jade Bird - Jade Bird - omg I love her.
1. (Tie) Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated - If she comes out with an album, it's a safe bet it'll be high on this list.
I Think You Should Leave
These are the best movies I saw in 2019. They may not have come out in 2019, big whoop. I'm just listing the movies I rated 4+ stars on Letterboxd, so go there for full reviews.
Love, Death and Robots
Paddleton
Wildling
These are the games I played and liked. Add me on Xbox Live or Nintendo to play with me. I couldn't get too into many new games this year. I think Xbox Game Pass has kinda ruined me—I usually try out a game for an hour or two, then, because I didn't pay extra for it, I don't feel the need to stick with it if I don't enjoy it enough to want to play it more than yet another game of Overwatch.
Baba Is You
Void Bastards
That's it! That's the year!
Labels: blogging, creative contributions to society, london ontario, movies / music / tv, news, photographs, real life, science, technology / video games, writing / books
Looks like time has chewed away another year from my life.
I had the typical "there were plenty of highs and lows" type of year. I find that at this age (late thirties), both the highs and lows are more profound. For example, people in my age cohort not only have children, but have children that are growing up into actual people. On the flip side, people around me are worn down by time or outright erased from existence with increasing vigour. I suppose those lows can make me appreciate the highs even more, in a way that could only be abstractly understood in earlier years.
More specific to 2018, I've continued to be lucky and privileged enough that the world's political turmoil has continued to avoid devastating my life directly. I do what I can to fight the creeping spread of anti-human powers, but aside from a plummeting retirement fund, I'm fine. For now.
Anyway. For anyone still paying attention, here's my yearly wrap-up of the stuff I enjoyed this year.
As usual, this is just an uncurated list of the albums I listened to most, courtesy of Last.FM.
20. Slaves - Beautiful Death
19. Dear Rouge - Phases
18. Franz Ferdinand - Always Ascending
17. Sofi Tukker - Treehouse
16. Lucero - Among the Ghosts
15. Bebe Rexha - Expectations
14. The Glitch Mob - See Without Eyes
13. The Wombats - Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life
12. Teenage Wrist - Chrome Neon Jesus
11. Moby - Everything Was Beautiful, and Nothing Hurt
10. Let's Eat Grandma - I'm All Ears
9. Rhye - Blood
8. CHVRCHES - Love is Dead
7. Bahamas - Earthtones
6. A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant
5. K.Flay - Every Where is Some Where (this came out in 2017, but I only discovered it in 2018, when it seemed to really take off)
4. Thirty Seconds to Mars - America
3. Years & Years - Palo Santo
2. Ghost - Prequelle
1. Janelle Monáe - Dirty Computer
These are the shows I liked the most.
Kim's Convenience
I spent most of my limited entertainment time on TV this year, so I missed a lot of the big movies. But here are the ones I did see and like. Connect with me on Letterboxd for more.
Hold the Dark
Super Dark Times
A new category! I don't get to play video games as much as I'd like, but here's what I played this year. Connect with me on Xbox Live for more.
Mad Max (an older game, but I just got to it this year, and it's totally underrated)
Red Dead Redemption 2 (I'm totally blown away by the amount of stuff in this game. I've played for a few dozen hours and still haven't even finished the main story)
State of Decay 2
Biggest disappointment award: Fallout 76. What an awful launch and an awful game. Hopefully it gets better with updates, but I'd rather be holding my breath to protect against actual radioactive clouds.
WTF award: Fortnite. I get why people play it—it's a fun little tech demo of a game. But I don't get why people keep playing it. It's aggressively shallow, and if kids are growing up thinking this is what a game should be, I'm worried they'll miss out on all the deep, satisfying, artistic games that we've been working toward for the past few decades.
I read really slow, so it's rare for me to read a book in the same year it came out. Here are my favourites that I read in 2018, but didn't necessarily come out in 2018. Connect with me on Goodreads for more.
Algorithms to Live By - Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths
The Atrocities - Jeremy Shipp
Bird Box - Josh Malerman
Dead Dog on Morningside - cal chayce
The Drive-In - Joe Lansdale
Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes - Carlton Mellick III
We Have Always Lived in the Castle - Shirley Jackson
It's over! See you next year, hopefully.
Labels: deep thoughts, horror, movies / music / tv, news, real life