Move Over, Judge Judy; Here Comes Secretary TeacherMom
Funny, Mexico, Mexico City, Retail | Right	| December 30, 2021
I work at a gift shop. A young lady asks for my help.
Customer: "Do you have a mug or something that says, 'Best Mom'? No, wait, a mug that says, 'Best Teacher,' in like, super cutesy font, the kind of thing you give to a kindergarten teacher?"
Me: "Sure, over here. Is your mom a kindergarten teacher?"
Customer: "No, she's a court secretary. Says it's like herding toddlers."
We Could Do With A Pick-Me-Up After This
Employees, Government Office, Lazy/Unhelpful, Mexico | Working	| December 22, 2021
I have just moved to a small town from a larger city. There's a bit of culture shock. I realize this when I call city hall.
Me: "I have something large I'd like to throw away. What are my options?"
Clerk: "The garbage collectors only take bulk items one week in April."
Me: "That's nine months away. I have to keep it until then?"
Clerk: "You can take it to the dump yourself."
Me: "I can't do that."
Clerk: "Sure you can. Just toss it in your pickup and drive it out."
Me: "I don't have a pickup."
Clerk: *Dead serious* "Are you being smart with me?"
No One Deserves To Deal With That
Health & Body, Mexico, Revolting, School, Teachers | Learning	| May 23, 2021
I'm an American teaching in Mexico. I'm joking with a new teacher about how badly my digestive system reacted when I first arrived.
Me: "It took me about a month for my stomach to get used to things. I even ended up having to throw away a pair of underwear."
Teacher: "You threw them away? Why didn't you wash them?"
Me: "We don't have a washing machine. Our cleaning woman does our clothes by hand."
Teacher: "Why didn't you ask her to wash them?"
Me: "That… might have been a bit much to ask."
WE WANT TO SEE THE DOG. WE WANT TO SEE THE DOG.
Funny, Mexico, Mexico City, Online, Pets & Animals, School, Students | Learning	| March 26, 2021
We're in a Zoom class. One of my classmates doesn't mute her microphone before trying to get her dog to leave the room.
Classmate: "Out! No! No, girl! Out! Out! Bad girl, let go of that! No! No! Out! Vade retro, canus!"
My Cupholders Are So Deep Without All Those Coins!
Current Events, Home, Mexico, Mexico City, Money, Sons & Daughters | Related	| January 30, 2021
Day 294 of quarantine, yay. I'm paying for a delivery that doesn't accept cards for whatever reason.
Me: "Hey, [Daughter], do you have change for a $100 bill?"
Daughter: "I haven't even seen cash for almost a year."