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Coach Sam's guest in this episode of Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit is Jeff Oldroyd, graduate of Warrior Week 55, the week it never stopped raining! What did Jeff realize that first night in the Pit? What does he treasure most in this world? How does he show up for his kids and the kids in their small community? What simple but important message do Coach Sam and Jeff have for the fathers listening to this podcast?
Parable #1: Precursor to Warrior
About ten years prior to finding Warrior, Jeff created a symbol and statement of his life based upon a book his friend had written. "By having a balance between my belief in God, my family, my business, and my active, adventurous lifestyle, I will achieve my life's goals and dreams."
When Warrior came into his life, Jeff was already heavily into the habit of Core 4 (Body, Balance, Being, and Business), but now had the tools to not only back it up but to also take it to the next level.
What were the conditions of your life when Warrior was introduced to you?
Parable #2: The Pit
Upon entering Warrior Week, Jeff had no clue why he was there, but he was committed to submitting to the process. During that first night in the Pit, what opened up for him was the love he had for his family.
One of the most significant moments for Jeff was the introduction of the Dark and Light Warrior and the amount of power and love that he felt when they were both joined together.
What has been your experience with the Dark and Light Warrior?
Parable #3: A Voice to Be Heard
Pre Warrior, Jeff's life was pretty much on an even keel. His relationship with his wife was more functional than passionate, and he had reached the point where he was sick of mediocrity. Post-Warrior, Jeff has opened up more with his children and has been able to have deeper conversations with them.
As dads in today's world, you have to have massive amounts of influence and persuasion over your children, as there's an over-abundance of information available to them that will over-ride your voice if it's not clear and cannot be heard by them.
How have your conversations with your children changed since taking on the Warrior lifestyle?
Parable #4: The Land of Yes or No
Once you label yourself as a Warrior inside this game of life you become someone who has been awakened, and there comes an understanding of and subscription to what Warrior is, which is found in the land of yes or no, but never in the land of maybe which leave things unresolved.
"What is Wake Up Warrior? We wake up, and then we live in the land of yes or no. If I tell you I'm going to be there tomorrow by eight, I will be there by eight." Ultimately, that is how you must operate with your children; otherwise, you leave things unresolved."
What can you do to strengthen your resolve to live in the land of yes or no more often?
Parable #5: Be Present
As a martial arts instructor, Jeff teaches many kids whose dads aren't around. As a result, he and his boys have become their role models, causing Jeff to wonder why dads aren't stepping up to take care of their kids.
Both Jeff and Coach Sam advise fathers "to just show up and be present. That's it. Just be there and let it happen. Put your phone down and be consumed by your child and the energy of their environment. Don't delegate it to your wife, the nanny, or the big brother."
How do you show up for your children? What is one thing you can do to improve that?
Parables from the Pit
"Believing is not enough. You can have a story that you believe, but if you don't act on those beliefs, you're a fucking liar."
"I didn't realize how much I had to tear down in order to build myself back up."
–Jeff Oldroyd