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t3_35rord | tifu | TIFU by opening /r/ass instead of /r/AskReddit. | This actually happened about 2 hours ago, I then remembered this place.
Also, before you ask, no, I don't browse /r/ass.
So this happened in class today, I'm taking English Finals, and the teacher was going over something I'd already learned from staying late one day. So my teacher, who is a redditor, lets me browse reddit on my laptop if I want.
My plan was to go to /r/AskReddit, but I usually don't type in the whole URL, because when I type in "www.reddit.com/r/As", that's all I usually have to type in because /r/AskReddit is always at the top of my history list and I can just hit enter.
Well I apparently held down "s" for too long, then not paying attention hit enter.
So now /r/ass was opened, in full view of the two rows of people behind me. Now my laptop screen is pretty big, so you could see these pictures pretty easily, even from a short distance back. A couple people are holding in laughter, and my teacher gives me the "What did you do?" look.
Then some dipshit in the back decides to say "He's browsing /r/ass!" Not loud.
Just loud enough for my teacher, who is three rows away, to hear it.
So I just kinda lie my head down like I'm play Heads up Seven up or something.
I have to talk to my teacher tomorrow morning, I'll update then if you guys want. | Tried to open /r/AskReddit, but held "s" down for too long, /r/ass opened and my whole class thought I browsed it regularly. |
t3_3tlnyf | relationship_advice | I [24F] slept with someone other than my FWB [25M] and now I feel like I cheated. | I met my FWB on Tinder a little over a month ago. I say FWB because I don't know what else to call him. We stay at each others places once or twice a week. Normally have sex but sometimes just enjoy each others company. We've told each other we like each other but he is about to finish med school and start his residency in a few months most likely out of state and can't really focus on a relationship right now which I fully understand and am not sure I want one either, but I have to say I do feel attached. I've never been so sexually satisfied by someone. Not to mention we get along great and have stayed up all night talking more than a few times.
Anyway earlier this week I agreed to a date with a male friend who is in a polyamorus relationship and we ended up having a few drinks and taking another male friend home with us and having sex. We wore protection and I was no where near as turned on by the experience as I am with my FWB.
Anyway I can't help but feel that I cheated. Despite us never making anything exclusive.
Should I come clean to my FWB or just get past it? | I like my FWB, we are not expressly exclusive. I hooked up with other people and now I feel bad. Do u tell him? |
t3_gsbsm | AskReddit | I value looks WAY too much in my love life. How can I stop this? | Hi. I'm a single guy in his thirties. My most recent major relationship was a live-in LTR with a woman who was exactly my type. That ended a couple of years ago.
I'm not a bad-looking gent, but no tiger-blooded adonis, either. She was certainly out of my league. Since dating her, I've found that looks have become almost comically important when I'm making a decision on whether or not to pursue someone romantically. Obviously, attraction IS a legit factor, but this is too much.
At my age, all my male friends are married. It's hard not to be a little jealous. However, most of their wives (who are *awesome* and wonderful pals of mine also) are not fashion-forward hipster waifettes, and thus would totally not ping my radar if they were single and looking right now. Durr.
So, it stands to reason that there are lots of potentially awesome mates out there that I'm ignoring in lieu of the largely untouchable and often shallow babes I am so steadfastly dedicated to pursuing. | How can I stop being such a shallow dickface and relax my impossible physical standards enough to actually find the woman of my dreams? I'm going nuts here. |
t3_1nb7v4 | self | Reddit army unite!**Help** Me Get a Date with Miley Cyrus! I'm serious here guys!! | Okay so this is the first time I've asked Reddit for help like this, but I recently got broken up with in the rudest manner and I think think this could work. I want to go on a date with Miley Cyrus. I want you to help me! .How do could you help? Well I made that easy!
The other day I got extremely drunk, made a cover of "Wreckin Ball" and posted it to youtube.
Here is the link
It would be really cool if you guys could help me get her attention.
My twitter is @petes_tweets_5 .. i started using the hastag #MileyLovesPete .. so maybe that will help?
Any suggestions are welcome .
If this works I will be one happy man | I got broken up with. Got day drunk by myself and made a wrecking ball video. I want you to help me take miley on a date. Spam her twitter, instagram, facebook what ever ideas you have!!! |
t3_2ehxb4 | relationships | I [18 M] have problems with girlfriends [19 F] weight 3 years | This great chick I've been seeing for almost three years went from being what I consider perfectly curvy/chubby to a bit short of fat. It's caused a lot of problems in our relationship and in most cases I haven't dealt with it properly and maturely.
I've done everything from lightly suggesting/implying I'd like her to lose weight to literally telling her I'm becoming unnatracted to her (which was wrong I know, but it just hurts when the person I thought looked the best ever is moving away from that) and she's just gotten bigger.
Today I just told her I'm happy with who she is, that I love her, and her body and I'm happy with where she's at, it prompted a bit of an awkward situation but it seemed things were good after that. I just wanted her to feel happy and confident and I figured it could help with her exercising (if she still does it, I'm not sure).
So what should I do here? I feel like I'm in a shitty dilemma, I'm still attracted to her sexually but looking back on older pictures drives me totally mad and just makes me want it so much more, I feel I should ask and try to help her lose the weight before she gets even larger. But I can't say anything without hurting her.
But on the other hand I want her to be happy and confident with herself, she lacks heavily in confidence and I feel I've attributed a lot to this.
So what should I go with here? | Girlfriend has put on weight (I don't like), i have to either ask her and hurt her or leave it alone and keep her happy and confident with herself. |
t3_rcpn9 | AskReddit | Reddit, I have very painful back problem and need some help .. | My name is Matt and I'm 16 years old.
A few months ago I developed a lower back pain out of the 'blue' and I do not know what caused it. It is on my very lower back area, on the left side. Every time I move at all, it feels like someone is driving a knife into my back and it is an extremely sharp pain. I can move my right leg freely without pain, but my left leg, every time I move it or put pressure on it (i.e, standing on it, walking on it, etc.) It has that sharp pain.
I've been to the doctor's office a couple of times, he keeps telling me to go for X-Rays and I have been, so far nothing has come up and he just continues to tell me to get X-Rays and take TYLENOL, which don't work the slightest bit. The doctor around here is no help.
Basically, | Extremely painful lower back pain on the left side, feels like a knife is being driven into my lower back whenever I move my left leg or put pressure on it. |
t3_2epwx7 | relationships | Me [23 M] with my SO [21 F] and her best friend | My girlfriend told me that if she was single she would sleep with her best guy friend, but that they respect each others relationships. I've met him, and he is a really nice guy, but it just bugs me thinking that she said she would still sleep with him if she was single. I'm not sure why. Should I worry? | My girlfriend told me that if she was single she would sleep with her best guy friend, but that they respect each others relationships. |
t3_2quagp | relationships | Me (20m) and my girlfriends (f19) new gay friend (m26) hate each other. | Me and my girlfriend went to the club with her friend Maisy and Maisys new boyfriend and while we was there 2 of his friends met up with us. Everyone was talking and laughing and i felt awkward because i'm shy around new people and they didn't talk to me so i played on my phone. Maisy and her boyfriend went to dance and Jake asked my girlfriend to dance with him so me and the other friend were left at the table. It was an awkward silence so i went to find my girlfriend and she and Jake were dirty dancing and he was touching her ass. I told him that she was my girlfriend and to stop but he told me he it's ok because he's gay and to sit back down and my girlfriend assured me that he is gay.
We all went back to Maisys boyfriends house afterwards and Jake kept teasing my girlfriend and play fighting with her and said he could tell she likes to be dominated and was rude to me too and kept making comments. They put a movie on and when i came back from the toilet Jake had his legs up so i had to sit on the floor and during the movie he was hugging her and he had his hands up her top and i think he was only doing it to annoy me because he pulled a face and smiled when i looked at him.
We was invited back to Maisys boyfriends house for new years eve and Jake said there's no point in me coming because i don't talk. When we left i told my girlfriend i hate him and i don't like it when he touches her but she said there's nothing wrong with it because he's gay and she said she doesn't want to miss out on making some new friends and that when i relax a bit they will like me too. I don't want to see him again and don't want my girlfriend to see him again how can i convince her that he is bad news?. | My girlfriends new gay friend is rude, puts me down and made comments to me and my girlfriend. He touches her because he knows it annoys me. I don't like my girlfriend being friends with him. |
t3_2jricr | relationships | My SO [M/22] of 5 years won't tell me where he's keeping the nude pics I [F/22] gave him. | Ok, so to preface, I've gotten too wrapped up about things in the past and worried about things too much before in our relationship, so I coming here to see if the way I'm feeling is totally unreasonable or not.
I recently sent my SO some nude pictures of myself and it was a big step for me to trust him with them. He told me he had put them in a secret file on his computer and my first thought was "perfect, no one will be able to get them", but then I realized that I had no idea how to get to them either, and that's where the problems start.
I trust my SO to never share them online or with anyone else, but when I asked him if I could look at them some months later, he obliged but only after having me turn away while he pulled put the "secret folder" and opened the pictures in an image viewer so I was no longer in the folder...
I asked him to show me how to reach the folder so I could access them if I wanted to delete them or just see them, but he declined because he didn't want me to see what else he had in there. Now, it kind of bothers me that he won't tell me what kind of porn he watches, but I respect his privacy and that he's not comfortable telling me yet.
So to compromise, I asked him to create a second "secret folder" that only cobtained my pictures and show me just how to access that one. But he acted as if I was overreacting and being stupid for being worried. I've tried to explain it's not that I don't trust him, it's just that it's my body and I want to be in control of those pictures. He wont tell me why he's so reluctant to do it and it's been about a week since he finally agreed to make a new folder, but every time I ask him to, he rolls his eyes and says he'll do it later...
Sorry for the wall of text, but am I making a mountain out of a mole hill or is it reasonable to ask him to do this? Also apologies in advance for any errors, this is my first post ever. | Boyfriend won't let me access nude pics of myself on his computer for reasons unknown. Am I over reaccting? |
t3_n019x | AskReddit | Does this make me an insensitive prick? | So, today, at work, one of our residents passed away. It was rather sudden. I wasn't the initial response to the call, however, once my shift started, I took over for the other EMT. ( Guess I should clarify, I am an EMT working at a retirement community) The resident was old, no DNR, so, obligated to start CPR, however, once the medics arrived, resident was pronounced dead. Now, this isn't the first death I've been on, nor will it be the last, but it made me wonder, my partner and I were quite casual about discussing her passing. Joking about it perhaps, even. I just want to know if anyone thinks this makes me an asshole? I know it's how I cope with experiencing death on occasion, but I don't know, I felt bad after I got home and started to think about it. That is all. Also, should be noted, we're most certainly not rude about it to anyone outside of just us to. | I'm an EMT, my partner and I are very casual, almost jokingly casual when a resident passes at our facility. Does that make us assholes? Even if it is how we cope with death. |
t3_3n2t58 | relationships | Me (19m) and my gf (19f) feel like moving in together, sharing our lives. I am worried we are going "love blind" | Hello reddit! Long time lurker on here but now i have a reason to get all your lovely opinions :)
So here's the background: Me and my girlfriend have been together for closing in on three years and we started like any good old angsty teen story. We were best friends since the beginning, supported each other through everything including primary and secondary school, but only dated when we both saw something else in each other, had bad relationships, you get the deal.
Being with her is awesome, like I said she was already my best friend so everything in our relationship has flowed so damn smoothly. We argue, but we admit when we're wrong and solve it. We have different interests (science v music) but we always share and conversation is always interesting. Safe to say i know her and she knows me and I feel like we are definitely in love (so much angst)
Here's the deal, with university and what's coming next, we plan on being together, we're saving up to move in together and i feel like im getting washed in the feeling of it because sometimes i even think of spending the rest of our lives together. The relationship we have is like nothing I've had before, but i know how stupid this all sounds just from editing the post, especially given our age. But i just can't help but feel sometimes like this is legit, shes it. (aaaangst)
My problem is I don't know wether this is warranted, if it could be true or wether we're being idiots. For the record we're nearly twenty and i have had stellar relationships in the past, the last one only ending because she moved away. I would love to hear what everybody here has to say and what their opinions are and if anyone else has been in this kind of situation (sorry for the lengthy post!) | Really in love with gf, often get thoughts that she may be "the one" unsure of how to confirm or deny this. Feeling like im being an idiot sometimes |
t3_19hsew | relationships | I[20m] am a a virgin and my girlfriend[22f] is not. | Relationship length: 2.5 years.
We met online 3 years ago and in person 2 years ago. We started dating and everything has been great. We get along really well but she's not a virgin and I am. We are also very long distance so she visits my country on school breaks and has done a semester abroad in my country.
I grew up in a religious family and she did not. I'm a Christian and my beliefs are very important to me. My girlfriend is Christian too, but she was converting from atheism when we first met. Religion is important to her, but we have very different pasts and it does raise some issues, although we love eachother very much.
Before we met, my girlfriend liked to party a lot. She drank and did some heavy drugs (heroin, meth, coke, ecstasy etc). She got clean before we met and only drinks occaisionally and smokes cigarettes, which I am okay with, although I don't smoke. She also admits to having sex with 22 men, and was raped too (which makes me very sad). Her past worries me, but she's been clean as long as I've known her and hasn't relapsed and has never cheated on me. She also respects my beliefs and does want to wait for marriage before sex, like me.
I grew up in a very Christian home and never did drugs, smoke or have sex. I am waiting for marriage. She's never pressured me either, we just make out. I love her, and she loves me, and I think she is so beautiful... But it still bothers me she's been with so many men. Not because I am jealous and want to be with other women myself, I just believe sex is for the person you love and marry. I always imagined my wife would be losing her virginity to me, and mine to her.
I know she's changed from a partyer into a wonderful person and the girl of my dreams, but her past is hard to deal with. She feels badly about it herself, and wishes she could change it.
We want a future together, but how do I get over her past issues, even though they aren't here today? | I came from a very Christian, good upbringing and am saving myself for marriage. My girlfriend had a wild past and slept with a lot of men, but changed her ways immensely before we even met. How do I deal with this. |
t3_38xiek | relationships | Me [17 M] with my "friend" [17 F], we went on a date, now I may have messed up | Really I'm just here to ask whether or not asking her to talk would be a good idea. Last Saturday, I asked her out and we ended up watching the sunset and stuff. It was all good. We kissed after we shared that we had feelings for each other.
Fast forward past the weekend, during the week I didn't really match the affection I showed for her on our date at school or anything. I hardly walked her to class (I know it sounds stupid, but still) and I think I hugged her maybe twice after school. I was honestly just scared that she wouldn't want to make anything between us known to the public for whatever reason.
So here I am. Now I feel like she's stepped back just like I did. I feel like I screwed up. But I just want to talk to her about things. Really, I've wanted to talk to her and ask her if she wants a relationship with me, or anything like that all week. I'm just having trouble taking action, and I have been over-thinking everything way too much.
Back to the reason why I'm here: would it be a good idea to ask her to talk? Thanks anyone who can help. | Went on a date with a girl, we kissed, I backed off during the week and I feel like that was a bad idea. Now I want to talk to her about us. Should I? |
t3_21e6fx | relationships | Me [18 M] Seeking advice on choosing between girlfriend [20 f] and a career opportunity | Let me start off with saying that I am deeply in love with my girlfriend. We have known each other for a little over a year, and have been dating for about 6 months. Our relationship as a couple has been LDR because she left for college a little before we started dating. We've managed the LDR pretty good since she came back for winter break for a month, spent 2 weeks with me for spring break, and flights to see each other in between.
In about a month she is transferring back to a college about 45 minutes from where I currently live. Let me state that this was going to happen regardless of whether or not we were together. This would be awesome for the relationship because I currently have a decent job in this city and I'd be able to see her quite regularly.
However, I was recently contacted by a recruiter from a very prominent website and they have offered me a position in a city about 4 hours away from where my girlfriend would be. This would be amazing for my career being that I am in the tech industry and working for that company would set my career up for so much success.
Another thing that complicates the situation is that she wants to get a part time job during the summer as well to help her career goals, but she would have to work weekends most likely, and that would be the only days I would have off to see her.
I definitely think that we would still be able to see each other, depending on my schedule(may be four 10's), but what have you guys done in situations like this? Did you choose the job or the SO? | LDR girlfriend is coming back from out of state college, but I was recently given an amazing job offer 4 hours away from where she'll be. Advice needed! |
t3_2ybrja | relationships | Am I [22/M] crazy to want to be done with my SO [21/F] of 4 years that went behind my back to post suggestive pics? | So the other day my roommate comes in my room showing me this suggestive picture on our college snapchat page thinking it's our neighbor. My heart instantly sunk because I knew exactly who it was and just played it off. I had no idea that this was going on. I asked my SO about it and she was basically played dumb about it until she finally cracked told me she and her friend posted on there. She tried to justify it and say it was just a good picture and she wanted to post it to see how many likes she could get. Am I crazy or does that not sound like someone who isn't in a relationship?
What I think the problem is, is that she can be kind of crave attention, and the past few weeks I haven't been able to spend much time, if any, with her because school has been drowning me. Well since I haven't been able to give her the attention she wants, she decides to try to find it somewhere else, like the app where she gets likes for posting suggestive pictures...
I've asked my roommate and he said he'd be livid and be done if his SO did that. I want to know if this is something common or if I should truly be done? I loved this girl and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. But seeing something like this breaks my heart and only makes me think about the future where if I have to travel for a week or two, how could I possibly trust this kind of behavior?
I just want to know if I'm crazy or if other people would be upset too. I think stuff like that would need to be a group conversation but she never planned on telling me, which really hurts.
I dunno I'm just really hurt and wanted to say something about this without any of my friends finding out. | girlfriend posts suggestive pictures behind my back, I find out from my roommate, am I crazy to want to throw a long term relationship down the drain? |
t3_3ahrks | tifu | TIFU by making a car full of women think I was staring at them creepily from the dark bushes behind my parked car. | I drove to meet some friends for drinks in a part of my city I've never been to before, and after looking for parking for 15 minutes, had to settle for a spot many blocks away from the bar. During my drive I had no longer needed my sunglasses, so I flipped them up onto my head, as in the lenses were on top of my head.
So I get out of the car and realize I've become so disoriented while looking for a spot, that I need to use my GPS to find the right direction to walk. At this point its getting darker and I'm standing in between some large trees and bushes in a dark and shady area between my car and the sidewalk while I mess around with my phone.
While this is going on I barely realized that a car full of women pulled up and was parked almost on the other side of my car while waiting to pick someone up. I'm messing around with my phone for a few minutes, and getting frustrated that the gps isn't working. It finally works, and I walk in front of my car to cross the street right as the car that had been waiting next to it pulled by me to drive away.
They slow down and I hear a "stop staring at me through your #*cking sunglasses you creep!" and then they speed away yelling more obscenities at me.
It takes me a few seconds of thinking "WTF was that about" to realize that my head was tilted down while I was txting on the other side of my car, and the car was blocking my phone. My sunglasses were lined up like they would be if they were on my face and I was looking up. It looked like I was just some creep standing in the bushes with sunglasses on staring at a car full of women for a long time, and that I tried to approach their car as they drove away.
I realized what happened and laughed about it, and went on with my night. | Sunglasses on top of my head while looking down txting in a dark area made a car full of girls think I was creepily staring at them while they waited in their car. I had no idea. |
t3_4tybsj | relationships | Me [23F] with my [lates40s/F] manager, is mad at me because I didn't want to go to a staff appreciation hangout. | So I work in a very small private office, where the staff is less than 10 people total. My manager, has planned a staff appreciation hangout for everyone to go to during work hours, where we would close the office and go together to the event. Basically the plan was that she would drive us together to another city (about 1 hour drive away) and get lunch and bowling together...but we would have to find our own way back home since she lives in that city and doesn't want to drive us back.
Few days ago I asked if I'm required to go (or at least stay for the whole time) since the event is unpaid, and I have plans later that day which I don't want to be late for (especially since I have to take public transportation back home). She said yes (is that even legal..? a mandatory unpaid work event during work hours?) then everything got sour really quick. She pretty much spoke with our boss really quick, came back and told me that either I go, or I don't... theres no option for me to leave early. That I shouldn't have any reason to leave early since this was planned 2 weeks ago and I should of set everything aside already. That public transportation doesn't take that long.... To avoid any arguments, I told her that I would go and that I just wanted to get clarification from her since she never really provided any specifics of the plan to anybody at work.
Few mins later, she comes back and tells me that the hangout is cancelled. Then later throughout the day I heard she's been telling everyone that I'm not appreciative of her and how she tries to do nice things for us. It's not that I'm not appreciative of her, it's just that the plan inconvenient to me and everyone else in the office, but I'm the only one who even has the guts to ask. I already know I'm going to have a "talk" with them on Friday for a required staff evaluation and I just want some advice on how to approach this. | Manager planned an unpaid staff appreciation hangout during work hours, asked if it was mandatory which ended in her canceling the event and her going around saying that I am unappreciative of her. |
t3_1lq4xm | relationships | Found condom wrapper in the bed. Help me make sense of this?!? | So, last night my bf (32M) came to bed, and found a old looking condom wrapper in the bed. He didn't seem worried, an just tossed it out, saying it was old, and must have been from when we first got together about 3 months ago. Now, I (34F) know it's not mine, and I've never had any reason to doubt him, but I'm having a hard time making sense of this all.
One one hand, his explanation could be perfectly correct. The wrapper looked pretty old, he said he had seen it on the floor, and our house isn't exactly clutter free. It is possible the wrapper is from when we first got together. We spend a ton of time together and I haven't had reason to doubt his faithfulness. In many ways, he is everything I have ever wanted in a relationship. I don't want to overreact if its nothing, but if it is something, I need to know.
So, I'm asking for advice, r/relationships. When confronted with something like this, that could be a relationship-ending red flag, or could be absolutely nothing more than the hazards of my disdain for housework, how does one proceed?
I haven't made any accusations, but I'm not at peace with the uncertainty I'm feeling right now either. Any advice?
Also, this is my first post. If I need to post elsewhere or have broken any reddit rules, sorry, and let me know what I need to change. | found an old looking condiments wrapper, could be nothing, could be infidelity. How do I know, or do I accept uncertainty? |
t3_3hkzeu | relationships | Me (26/m) and my now ex (25/f) just broke up yesterday after 2.5 years. We live together. What now? | Hi Reddit. I actually don't think this is going to be so long, because I'm not really needing to vent everything on my mind.. at least right now. The breakup was mostly on her end, but we both saw it coming. Things got stale, she's been bettering her life and health while I continue to work a job I hate and drink more often lately because of said job/general outlook on my life. I don't blame her much, and we're on good terms, just both very sad.
The problem: We live together, and basically rely on each other. I rely on her car to get me to/from work and the normal daily stuff people do, and she relies on me in a financial sense that she makes enough money a month to just squeak by, whereas I make substantially more and pay for most things needed.
Our lease is active until March 2016, and I'm not sure either of us have the means (in different ways) of moving right now. I'm currently camping out in our guest bedroom, and she has our normal bedroom. She's even still letting me use her car as I need it right now, which is kind of her. Again, we're on good terms. We love each other. I just can't be what she needs anymore.
So, reddit, what should I do? Should I talk to our leasing place and see if I need to buyout the remainder of the lease and find a studio apt, or should we seriously talk about just sticking it out and living as roommates, with set boundaries and rules? Does anyone have ANY suggestions or personal experience from this? | We broke up. We rely on each other financially and otherwise. Trying to figure out the best way to handle this logistically. |
t3_3087q3 | tifu | TIFU by locking the screen door | I'm a college student, and these days have been busier than usual since exams are plenty as well as papers and projects. Now, I still live in our house since it's pretty near to my school, and also because I'm a bit clingy to my siblings.
Anyway, so after a really tiring day (I pulled an all-nighter to finish a report and a paper then had class at 7am) I got home and, as usual, locked the screen door (it can only be locked from the inside, btw). I didn't bother to close and/or lock the front door itself since I thought that I would open the door again when my sister arrives later.
I sat on the couch and put my bag down, then watched some TV to relax a bit. It was 6pm.
The next thing I knew, I heard a violent banging on the screen door. I rubbed my eyes, and I looked at the clock. It was already 8 in the evening. Anyway, I headed to the door to find out who the hell was banging our screen door, and saw some unfamiliar-looking guys. Before I could even ask what the matter was, they said something to this person behind them, whom I couldn't see the face because it was dark outside. Anyway, the guys said, "We don't have to break the door; she's awake."
And then, my sister emerged from the darkness. I unlocked the screen door, and let her in. "I was stuck outside the house for an hour!" she yelled at me. Then she told me how she asked guys from the neighborhood to break the door in case I wouldn't wake up and how my mom has been worried sick about what the hell happened to me, and then closed the door to her room with a really loud *SLAM!*
Bonus: I also got 10 missed calls from my mom and my sister. | Locked screen door after going home, fell asleep, then woke up to a very mad sister who got stuck outside the house for an hour because she couldn't get inside without me opening the door. |
t3_ue95v | AskReddit | Reddit, I know we've all been there but, what was your most bittersweet heartbreak? | AskReddit has seen it's fair share of "the break your heart into tiny pieces, flood the world with your tears, and burn the galaxy with your anger stories about our past relationships".
But Reddit, what was the one heartbreak that tore you up and you look back at with a bittersweet feeling?
For me, it was my senior year of highschool, I was already seeing another girl at the time but I really started to click with one of her friends. Back then, it was just the simple things for us, a symphony date here (she loved music more than anything else), a movie there, and some smaller things like skating or bowling.
Things went on like this for awhile, I eventually parted ways with the girl I was seeing, but nothing else really changed. I could go on and on about the memories I had, like stealing out of a Math Intro Lecture (orientation at university) to explore to the university but that's another story.
That summer before freshman year, was one of the best ones I can remember. Picnics, me failing at catch, video games, you name it. Things were great to say the least, and it was the little things that made it that way for me. But, like most relationships we ended it before going off to university. I still look back, and I really miss her, not as the girl I dated, but as the best friend I ever had.
I still remember that night we spent under the stars looking for meteors? Just lying there with her, talking, laughing, sharing stories, if I could have slowed down time and stay in one memory I'd stay there forever. In that one memory, I didn't feel lonely, I didn't feel scared, confident, frustrated, lustful, bored, depressed, or angry. I felt nothing except her lying by my side, and yet it was everything to me. | Awesome friend, great girl, and I miss her. Looking for your stories, the ones that are bittersweet, the sad but inevitable ending to a great book etc. |
t3_jq0dc | self | I seek approval from people and it's hindering my ability just to be me/not worry/not care what others think. HELP! | I know a lot of it stems from being the younger brother in a somewhat broken family. My older sister was always something awesome, best musician, best student, best what ever and I came after. I always believed in doing my own thing and I've made my own identity, but now I seek approval from anyone/everyone I know just about. I know who I am and what I am, but am I proud to sport it? yes and no. I still look for others reactions to these things. I really don't want to expect or to be looking for attention all the time, but it's just become this way(probably from being left in the shadow of my sister). Now it's hindering my ability to enjoy myself and especially with girls. I'm a nice guy and I have things going for me, but girls can sense I'm not fully proud of it or don't fully believe in myself which shows weakness and unattractive qualities in a male. I want to be secure with what I do and who I am, even when I have a whole plan of what I want to be doing and will eventually be doing. Anyone else feel this way? anyone have advice to help just not care what others think and to care more about what I do. | I feel inferior to people around me, and I look for there approval. I want to be happy with who I am/what I do. advice? |
t3_1fd06n | relationships | I need an unbiased perspective on an argument between M26 and F26 | My SO and I live together and spend a relatively good amount of time in each other's presence during the evenings. We are both 26, work full time, and have our own hobbies and interests. The length of the relationship is approximately 4 years.
The other evening, we made plans to do something and about 20 minutes in, he gets a text from a friend asking to get a drink. He tells me that he is going to go hang out with his friend because he forgot that he had told him he'd get a drink with him earlier and since we see each other everyday anyway, I shouldn't have a problem with it.
I was kind of hurt by his nonchalance toward breaking our plans. He did go out and I did my own thing for the remainder of the evening. When I expressed that I felt hurt, he maintained that since we see each other so much and since he forgot he had already made plans with his friend, that I shouldn't be upset.
I can't tell if I'm being somewhat ridiculous or if he's being insensitive. I'm so close to the situation that I can't see it objectively. What do you think? | Is it okay to break plans with a gf because you live with her and "see her everyday anyway" because you forgot about supposedly previous obligations? |
t3_miwp7 | AskReddit | Why in the Hell is gold the most important thing in the world? | * | Why in the 21st century do we still pretend like gold is valuable when in all reality it's just a rock, just element # 79, just a shiny, essentially useless nugget. |
t3_20a355 | relationships | My(26) mother in law (51) never invites us to little get togethers at her house | This might seem dumb to you all but my Mother in law never invites us over for get togethers at her house and it bothers me a lot. The main reason is because she invites friend from her work ( both female and in their early 20s)and their families. A week or two ago my father in laws kids came down with their new baby. We were never told about that but her work friends were there. I only know because I seen on Facebook. She never invites her own children to her get togethers but does her work friends who are younger than me. It really hurts my feelings we are not included in these events but these girls from her work are. She acts like she loves our children so much but almost never wants to see them. I have no problem with the in laws other than this. They are always very nice to me. | Mil never invites her son and daughter and their families to her get togethers but invites her early 20s work friends and I am hurt by this! Ps also wrote on my phone so sorry for mistakes. |
t3_2ley3s | relationships | My [23F] Ex [24M] says he needs to take things slow and decide if he wants me back. Is there any hope? | My ex and I dated for about 9 months when we started to go on and off. We'd break up and then get back together 2 weeks later because we missed each other too much. The main issues are that I think he isn't affectionate enough and he gets annoyed by how much I talk about my feelings. In mid September he told me he didn't "feel" it anymore and that he feels really bad about breaking my heart because I'm such a good and caring person. I pretty much begged him to give us another shot but he said it was no use. I was very upset, obviously, we talked about how marriage would be like and our children together.
Two weeks later he asked for me back and said he fucked up big time and he knew 100% he wanted to be with me. He said he knew I was his future wife blah blah. I gave him another shot and he broke up with me again 3 days later saying that he tried to be happy with me but couldn't do it. I was extremely confused and I decided to forget about him.
Basically what my question is: we've got back in contact and he said he wants to take things slow and decide if he wants to be with me or not. I told him thats very unfair to me because I'm keeping myself vulnerable while he makes his mind. I just need to know if I should just tell him to not bother deciding because I'm gone or if I should be patient and get back together or not.
Some background is that he is my first boyfriend and I was completely inexperienced before I met him. He always says he's extremely attracted to me which almost makes me think thats the only reason why he wants to give things a shot again "possibly" | Ex says he needs time to see if he wants to get back together with me, I dont know if I should just "rage quit" or be patient to see if something good could come out of this (getting back together). |
t3_4vkck7 | relationships | Me [30 M] with my [21 F] of 3 years, left me a week ago. | The long and the short of it is our relationship started 3 years ago on the premise of sex. she had emotions for another female and believed in polyamory I did not.
Around a year ago things escalated and we decided to call each other significant others.
In that year I got a new job working 60 hours a week. a second job and my father had multiple heart attacks forcing me to take care of my family. During this time I was not the most attentive boyfriend and it was really in the start of the relationship. It was my fault and the stress of everything just got to me. I would be tired wouldnt lead wouldnt plan forget events. I failed as a partner.
After she lefts me a week or so ago I finally got the help I needed in terms of anti anxiety meds, spoke with my boss about no longer working 60 hours a week *im salary btw*, and spoke with my family about how they need to start picking up their share.
I care a great deal for her as I saw amazing things in hear that i never knew about during this last year but she ended and was very stern making it clear i had hurt her too much and could never be taken back.
Is their hope for me to reconcile?
If not what do you suggest now that I have free time and do not have her to spend it with?
Thanks | She left me cause of my life and I fixed a lot of things. Can I get her back or am I doomed? |
t3_qapwh | AskReddit | How can I get this bank off of my back? (Chapter 7 Bankruptcy and ChexSystems problem) | I know this isn't a substitute for legal advice but I'm at work right now having a hard time focusing and thought I'd get this question out to Reddit to see if anyone has been in this situation before, I won't be able to talk to my bankruptcy attorney again until tomorrow (if I'm lucky enough to get a hold of him).
My wife and I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy in October and it's done (discharge complete). One of the discharged debts was from an overdrawn savings account I had 4-5 years ago: a company tried to take a payment out of my account that had a zero balance and the credit union was charging me overdraft fees and declined transaction fees every time these people tried to hit my account so it wound up getting overdraft like $800. **All of that negative balance was simply because they were charging me fees every time these people tried to take money from my account.**
The problem is that this credit union reported me to [ChexSystems] because of those unpaid overdraft fees. This is preventing me from getting on a checking account with my wife.
I got in touch with a rep from the credit union and she said they couldn't remove the ChexSystems report because it was unpaid. It remains unpaid because I filed chapter 7 bankruptcy. It would seem we're at a stalemate. She acknowledged the fact that I filed bankruptcy and the debt was discharged, but also continued to tell me that they couldn't stop reporting to ChexSystems because it wasn't paid.
What can I do? | debt that was discharged through chapter 7 bankrtupcy still reported in ChexSystems and preventing me from opening a checking account |
t3_3g0asr | relationships | Me [18 M] with my GF [18 F] of 11 months, interest seems to be waning in each other | We started dating right near the beginning of college and lost our virginity together. Thinks were amazing in the beginning, and I truly believed I loved her, but now things are really starting to die out. I don't really feel strongly about her until I consider leaving her, and I don't know if that's a good thing to hold a relationship around.
I talked to her, and she feels pretty much the same way. She says her feelings for me are "come and go". I guess that I would say the same. But we both agree that we should still be friends if this doesn't work out. We're currently on a break, but I mostly just think of breaks as dragged out breakups so might just cut the break and end it soon.
Is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something more? I enjoy my time spent with her, but if she doesn't want to come over it doesn't bother me at all. I could do just fine alone. The idea of losing her as a friend does hurt quite a bit though, and she feels the same. Do you think two ex's who break up amicably can maintain the same friend groups? | Interest in each other is waning, wondering if this is a dying relationship or the honeymoon phase ending. Also wondering it's a good idea for us to still be friends. |
t3_3ewj0h | loseit | I ate A LOT this weekend | So I went on a little binge this weekend. I'm seeing a new girl, went to TGIFriday's on Friday night, Domino's on Saturday, then a nice little Mexican Restaurant Sunday night.
I ate so. much. fucking. food.
But it's OK! We always have to remember that we are just human, and a few days of "old habits" isn't the end of the world. If anyone is reading this, and thinks because they slipped up one day (or all weekend like me haha) that they screwed up really bad, it's alright! In the grand scheme of things, this is WHY we have changed our eating habits. So we can have weekends like this and not stress about it.
I'm back onto my normal 1750 calorie instake as of yesterday, and I'm continuing on as if nothing has happened. Good luck everyone! | Cheat days and mistakes happen. Don't stress! Get back on that horse and keep trucking along. Just be AWARE of what you did, and make sure to fix it. |
t3_2wwaoi | Advice | Military now or later? | I want to join the military, but I'm not sure if enlisting or commissioning would be the better option.
I've been in college for two years, but withdrew because I really haven't been into it. I'm $20k in debt and I'm trying to figure out the next move.
Enlisted:
Many of the MOS's I'm interested in are enlisted jobs (medic, EOD, linguist). If I went, I would get a break from school, and I could use my salary to pay off my student loans, then the GI bill to return to college without having debt loom over me.
Officer:
I've already spent two years in college, and if I finished I would have a degree and go into the military. However, I would be in much more debt and have to make payments for much longer. I would really like to be a helicopter pilot, which tends to only be an officer job.
Both?
I could potentially also enlist now, use the GI bill to finish school when I get out, and then apply for OCS when I get my degree.
I hear some people say to go enlisted first, and others say it is more beneficial to go straight to college and become an officer. | Is it better to enlist first and use the GI bill for college, or go to college and apply for OCS? |
t3_jqxdd | AskReddit | Accidentally walked out of work with item in pocket. Boss thinks I am stealing | Basically, title says it all, I work in a sports shop, and walked out of work with some goggles in my pocket (I had spent 2 hours tidying goggles up) and the ones in my pocket had no case.
It got into my pocket because a customer started talking to me and I just put them in there and forgot about them (My boss then asked me to do something else)
What should I do now? I'm next in work on thursday, boss wants to talk to me then. Should I expect to be fired?
Note: It WAS an honest mistake, I wasn't stealing them, I already own some goggles which I don't use | My boss caught me walking out of work with some goggles in my pocket (I had forgotten they were in there) I don't even swim... |
t3_iikc7 | dating_advice | Need advice on how to continue from okcupid message | I'm a 23 year old male with an okcupid account I hadn't checked in over six months. Upon logging in yesterday for the first time in forever, I saw I had a message from a cute 21 gal. This was the message:
*You were in my quiver, and since I'm pretty sure I'm probably more awesome than you are...I thought I'd send a helloooo your way.*
Only, she sent the message 6/9, so almost a month ago. I sent a reply, although I didn't explain why it had taken me so long to respond (thought of it after the fact). This was my response:
*hey! sorry it took me so damn long to respond. I'm pretty sure my awesome score just went down a few notches for that...so you MIGHT have me beat. How are you on this hot day?*
Somehow I just **never** saw the email a month ago that I had been sent a message on OKC. I think that last line in my response was kinda dumb now that I'm looking at it...No response from her yet, although I know she's read it because she logged in and viewed my profile yesterday also.
Anyways, on to my question. Would I be better off sending a second message explaining what took me so long to respond? I don't want her thinking I was dating someone at the time. Or should I just forget about it?
Also, to the ladies of /relationships, how would you handle this situation? Would you think to yourself "dude took too long, lost his chance" even if you were still single (which her profile says she is)? | girl messages me on okcupid a month ago, i just now see it and respond, no response from her yet, should I continue to pursue, and if so how? |
t3_het0s | loseit | I need help losing weight! | Hi, I'm new to this subreddit, so your support is appreciated. :) I'm a 21-year-old girl, 5'6" and ~130lbs. I'm kind of active, my job has me walking around 25+ hours each week and I walk all around school. I'm starting to get back into cardio, but I used to do it three times a week.
I previously had a personal trainer through my gym for a month or so but that was ridiculously expensive--I basically did an hour of sit-ups, some weight training and so on, then went on an elliptical for half an hour. I found a nutritional plan through apex fitness (the gym sold their products) I lost some weight at first, but my diet seems to be the problem. When I strayed from the gym's diet, the results stopped showing.
It's not that I eat too much or eat bad food all the time, I don't eat enough. That's the problem--I don't eat meals throughout the day, I eat small snacks, a bowl of special k cereal for breakfast, and a small dinner. I don't really drink soda and when I eat fast food I get a stomach ache (since I rarely eat it). I think I need to cut carbs from my diet, but this is all so confusing and sometimes overwhelming/discouraging.
I get a lot of weird looks when I want to lose weight, since I'm not chubby or overweight, and it's been hard trying to ask people about it since they think my weight means that all my fat is placed evenly throughout my body. NOPE. My midsection and thighs have attracted most of the fat and I hate it.
Anyway, sorry for rambling--I'm just looking for tips, inspiration, and ideas. I've started back up at the gym and I'm focusing on weight training. | I weight around 130 and I want to lose 25 pounds. I'd like to find a more solid diet to help me lose weight, and any advice is appreciated. :D |
t3_1ukare | relationships | I, [25 M] was dumped by my ex [30 F] after 6 months, wants to still communicate. Unsure what I should do. | Hey Everyone,
So things were going well with my ex until about a month ago when she broke up with me.
The gist of it was she wasn't "feeling the same connection"; she thought the age gap didn't bother her, but it kind of did; she didn't like driving me around everywhere (I used to have extreme anxiety issues, I am working on getting my license now that I'm less anxious). She wanted someone who "takes more charge" since she is constantly the one in charge of things (work, her father has cancer, terrible things that have happened to her parents' house due to weather etc.)
We met in person after she broke up with me on the phone, and she said she needs time to mull it over. We met again, and she said that her feelings are unchanged. I said I was okay with that. I told her I can't wait forever, and if either of us sees someone else, no harm done.
One thing that sort of remains unresolved is our interaction post-breakup. We have chatted a little bit on Facebook about our common
interests, and I'm fine with that. Last correspondence was her texting me about baking stuff for her friends, and how they loved it at her party. I didn't reply.
I've never been friends with an ex like this before. I'm not sure if talking about everyday life is normal, or if I'll end up being used as an emotional crutch without the benefits of being together. Has anyone had a good experience with maintaining a friendship post-breakup? | Was dumped by my ex of 6 months. Wants to keep in contact, but I don't know the line between a friend and being used. |
t3_vvgdv | AskReddit | What does Reddit consider a building? More details/explanation inside. | Before you read any of this, please refrain from comments like "Well obviously not, you're retarded." or "Are you actually serious?" I'm just curious what is considered a building.
Are twin towers, such as the [Petronas Towers] a single building? They're attached together, and share a foundation. If you say they are a single building then proceed. If you disagree, I suggest you stop here.
Vancouvers [Skytrain] [Link isn't working, add a ")" at the end of it] system is "running mostly on elevated guideways" and the elevated guideways are independently standing. They connect all of the Skytrain Stations. By the same logic as before the whole system is one large structure. If you agree, proceed, if not, halt.
Many of the stations are built so one can have easy access to the major center they're near. [Metrotown] [Waterfront Station] and [Pacific Center] are good examples of this, being directly built into another building or having walkways built to connect them together. This effectively attaches them together, arguably making them one unified structure. If you can accept this, then please continue on. If not, I urge you to stop and not risk being provoked.
So if all the stations built into/attached to other buildings/malls/etc being unified structures and all the stations, via elevated guideways, are one unified structures, does that make all them together one whole structure? If so, is it one [incredibly large and spread out building]
Aside from that question, what is a building to you guys? What is the most simplest structure that can be defined as a building and is there a certain level of complexity it can reach making it no longer classified as a building? | What makes a building a building? And could a skytain transit system connected to multiple malls/complexes be considered a building? |
t3_4p0e1e | relationships | I [21 M] kissed a Friend [24 F] who's in a relationship, now she won't talk or even look at me. | I have feelings for her, but at the same time she's one of my best friends. She has gotten herself recently in a long-distance relationship and I told her I had feelings for her. She said she was confused, and that she wanted to be faithful. I agreed.
A week later we were talking and she explained why she chose him. I was a bit tired of the situation, so when we went to hug and say good bye. I kissed her. She freaked out.
I apologized and wrote her a letter telling her how much I value our friendship. I gave it to her, she hasn't responded. (I don't even know if she read it)
Now she won't talk to me or even look at me.
I understand I am the one at fault. I want to regain the friendship. I'm pretty sure I'm over her for now. What can I do? | I kissed my best friend that was just in a long distance realtionship. She freaked out and won't talk to me. |
t3_4om3j1 | relationships | My boyfriend [20M] wants to pay to fly me [20F] to Europe, and I feel guilty. | My boyfriend is living in Europe for 8 months on a job there. You might've seen my previous post about how I'm financially supported by my parents, who aren't okay with me spending any money of my "own" to go to visit him.
He's offering to pay for my ticket because he says 1) he would be paying the exact same for him to visit me and 2) getting to see me matters more to him than the money does.
I feel really guilty about it. If I choose to reject the money, I'm disregarding my boyfriend's feelings about money that he would be spending anyway and I know he would feel frustrated that I was telling him what not to do with his own money. If I choose to accept the money, I feel like I'll be indebted to him, and my parents will feel like they've raised a greedy person who feels totally fine grabbing someone else's money for her own happiness.
I'm stuck. Should I take it or not? | Boyfriend wants to pay for me to visit him in Europe since I can't pay. Should I take it or not? |
t3_3hk98p | relationships | Me [26 M] need help with my gf [25 F] of 10 months. Just moving in with her and freaking out. | OK, so, as most people seem to say, this may be a wall of text and I am sorry in advance.
I have been dating a girl for 10 months, 6 months of which was long distance while I worked ina city 3 hours away. In that time, things were great, we chatted almost daily and messaged and met most weekends and did some fun stuff in our respective cities.
I get a job back in the city she is from on a 5 year contract and we make plans to move in together. Nice flat down by the bay.
Here comes my problem: I have issues with emotion and my brain hates anyone trying to get close to me, however, before it knows that someone likes me, it wants to do everything it can to get them attached. I feel feelings but I do not really feel emotions the same way as most other people it seems.
So, now I find that I am freaking out when she tells me she loves me, is excited about X or looking forward to Y and I turn physical affection into a game, i.e. her trying to kiss me involves me opening my mouth super wide or some shit. Sexually, I struggle to perform because all my brain wants to do is get out.
Before this switch flipped, I genuinely believed I wanted a life with her, that she was great etc.
Finally, on top of this, she is not a fan of me being in regular contact with my ex [26/F] whom I dated for 4.5 years but we have been apart for a similar amount of time and just pretty good friends with very similar tastes. The more it comes up as a problem, the more I seem to miss that relationship but that may be another problem. | Moving in with relatively new gf on year long contract, freaking out at any sign of attraction/future or attachment. Is this the norm? |
t3_3g5hqi | relationships | Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend[20M/F] of 1 year, Shares personal information with a friend [23m] in a different state before me she shares it with me. Is this considered emotional cheating? | So my girlfriend has known this guy that she met online for quite sometime. She's never seen him in person, but they often talk over Skype about personal issues a lot of the time. We've been together for a year, and so far the relationship has been fantastic. I just have an uncomfortable feeling about this because of the things she shares with him.
For example, my girlfriend has never been able have an orgasm (I'm her first) and it really bothers her. Before talking to me about how it frustrates her, she went to him because he's had a lot sexual experience and he's "chill about it". She also went to him first when she had a few family and academic issues that she thought would concern me. I've confronted her about it and she apologized and said "I go to him first because he's so far away and he feels disconnected". She also wants to plan a trip to go visit him sometime in the future.
Am I crazy to think this is weird? What do you guys think? | Girlfriend has known this guy who lives in a different state for a few years before me. They've always been close and she still shares stuff with him before coming to me. |
t3_4rz12x | relationships | My[20,M] gf[21,F] doesn't want to use protection for her first sex. | Hi everyone! I'll try to keep it simple and short.
I've been dating a girl (Joana) for more than a year now and we have been there for one another through everything that we've been through.
I've just been waiting for the right moment for our first sex cuz everyone wants their first sex to be special isn't it ?
So last night she was at my place and we were making out when I asked her about her preferences (if any) and she said she would like it with scented candles and stuff but then no condoms or protection (she says it's okay for the second time onwards but not the first time). She also says that if in case she turn out to be pregnant she would like the keep the baby.
I'm worried about my career and my future at this point and wouldn't want to get involved in having a child. Moreover, I really love her at the same time and wouldn't want to lose her either. | gf (21,F) says she wants to have sex without protection the first time and I'm worried about the consequences. Please help! |
t3_417ytq | relationships | I [20 M] don't think my girlfriend [20 F] should be texting her friend whilst he's with us, sat right next to her. Am I wrong? If yes/no, why? | So yeah she always wants to go out on weekends so we go out with about 5 other people most weekends. She's always texting this one guy, she never actually talks to him, only texts him, whilst he's either sitting next to her on the sofa, or at a restaurant sat across from her or next to her or whatever. Bear in mind I'm sat next to her as well. What are your immediate thoughts on this? Thanks. | Girlfriend texts male friend instead of talking to him whilst he's in the same room. Is this wrong? If yes/no, why? Thanks. |
t3_10sdqk | relationships | My boyfriend (16/M) wears ratty sneakers and I (16/F) am probably going to sound like a bitch... | As it said in the title, my boyfriend (16/M) and I(16/F) have some fashion issues. We've been dating for six months and some odd days.
He wears these ratty sneakers EVERYWHERE. They literally have holes in them, and no matter how many times I politely point it out or ask him to please throw the damn things out, he uses the same excuse, "These are *mine*, and I'll throw them out when *I* want to."
His grandmother bought him a perfectly good pair, and I've seen him wear them, I think, twice.
As a girl who plans out what she's wearing, it irks me. I always try to look presentable for my boyfriend, I don't want people thinking he's dating a sloppy, hobo-appearing girl.
Well, I don't want people thinking that I'm dating a sloppy, hobo boy. He's generally very good about his jeans and t-shirts, never wearing too much bright colors or too much dark colors, a good mix. He'll have an off day where he's wearing a bright shirt and light jeans, but he's a human, I expect it. His ratty, old, falling apart sneakers are the only thing he wears on a day to day basis, except for when he's in JROTC uniform.
Not only do I want him to be presentable, I worry about the arch in his foot falling because I doubt the ratty sneakers have any support in them anymore.
So, my question is: How do I get my boyfriend to throw out his ratty sneakers without being a controlling bitch about it? | My boyfriend wears ratty sneakers, and I want him to throw them out and start wearing his perfectly good new ones for arch support and to look presentable. |
t3_x6x8n | relationships | Moving to the other side of the planet. SO said she loves me; I'm not sure if I should say it back because there's no future in the relationship. | Background: I'm 35 and in the military and my (I guess prior) SO is 29. I found out that I must move to Japan less than a month after we started dating and informed her as soon as I found out; I also said that "I'm not willing to do the long distance thing". She spent the following 4-5 months actively pursuing jobs around Tokyo with no luck.
Anyways, I've been traveling (slowly) to Tokyo this month and a few nights ago on Skype she told me that she loves me. I feel the same way but don't think it's right to tell her because there is no (likely) future in the relationship. BTW I've never been in love or at least told anyone as such. I want her to get over me as soon as possible and be happy with someone else... It just feels really bad. | I'm moving to other side of planet and broke it off with SO. She told me that she loves me on Skype and now I conflicted. |
t3_4za9qq | relationships | I'm [23F] seeing a guy [36M] who is really nice and smart, but I hate the way he dresses. | I know the age difference is really weird. Feel free to comment on that. Anyway, I've been seeing this guy for a few months, and he is a good guy... Not perfect, of course.
I know this sounds shallow but his fashion sense makes me embarrassed to go out in public with him. He doesn't even have a sloppy style per se-- it's an immature style. I get that he wants to feel young and his face does look like he's in his 20's, but wearing clothing like a 15-year-old is too much.
He has a thing for graphic t-shirts with "cute" sayings like "I'm just here to annoy you" or "I don't give a duck" with a picture of a gigantic rubber ducky.
He does not wear these shirts to be ironic. He genuinely likes them and buys new shirts every week. Just thinking about his other shirts makes me cringe.
Obviously I don't want to be controlling and tell him what to wear. I'm not even sure if he would be open to dressing differently since he has over 100 shirts... And I feel shitty for even wanting to change him. Also, he recently asked me if he should dye his hair tips blond (he has dark brown hair)... I said no because I don't want to be dating the equivalent of Guy Fieri or 1990's J. Timberlake!
Anyway, is it normal to feel bothered by something so superficial? What do? | guy [36M] I'm [23F] dating dresses like a young teenager and it embarrasses me to go out in public with him |
t3_29msds | relationships | Me [35M] with my girlfriend [25F] together 6 years, at a crossroads due to lack of sex | We met each other about 6 years ago. Long distance relationship at first but eventually we moved in together. Emotionally we are at a great spot. She knows and understands me more than my family and I know her better than she knows herself. It's wonderful.
The problem is that as we became closer emotionally, our sexual situation has become nonexistant. First 2 or 3 years were pretty active, but now not even once a month. Why is that? I'm not sure. A few years ago she found out her thyroid level was slightly lower than normal. But she hasn't done anything about it. Possibly because she doesn't like the idea of having to take something on a daily basis, for something that is only slightly low. For me, over the last 18 months, I feel my desire for sex to be increasing. But it's hard to get into it, knowing (and seeing) she just doesn't have gusto, or desire for it.
Over the last few months, I've brought up wanting to have sex more. She's said she enjoys it when we do, but just doesn't have the desire for it often. I've brought up the idea of some type of open relationship, and she is very against that.
What do I do? I feel foolish to break up with her over sex, because everything else is really great. On the other hand, I think eventually this situation may breed resentment. This [comment] in DeadBedroom does not give me hope.
As a side note, I just discovered /r/DeadBedrooms/ just a few moments ago. It seems I'm not alone in my situation. That is both comforting and depressing. | Great relationship, but no sex. Do I break up because of it, or just deal with it because everything else in the relationship is great? |
t3_syi6e | AskReddit | How can you take my mind off things? Conspiracy theories, space anomalies, unsolved cases | It's in the 90s where I live, and it's only April. I'm stressed out. I've been drinking heavily for the last year or so, and I'm anticipating a nice long summer of doing the same.
I'm an unemployed writer. Aside from blogging on as many subjects as possible, I write fiction. Mostly short fiction. If you've ever read Borges...well, he's a big inspiration. If not, think Twilight Zone. I need your stories of the unexplained. Personal experiences, conspiracies, etc. You can link me to websites or whatever to help my research. I'm a big fan of astronomy also, so if you know of any bizarre or unexplained astronomical phenomenon do tell. In doing this you'll be helping me to get my mind off some personal issues that I can't force right now, and at the same time motivating me to be productive. | What's the most bizarre, inexplicable thing you've ever encountered? What's the creepiest "true" story you know? |
t3_2df03x | relationships | Me [23F] with my SO [23M] of nearly 4 years - I am not happy and think it's time to break up, but I still love him... how do I do this? | We have been on a rollercoaster of a relationship for too long. I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to write out all the nitty-gritty details of our ups and downs, but as a brief background, we have had a lot of really great, happy times - he is my best friend, and was before we even dated - and a lot of really dark, scary times, that eventually end in tears and promises of changes that never happen (or at least don't usually stick). For a number of reasons, I'm beginning to see that as much as I love him, it's not realistic for me to expect us to magically work again like we once did and for us to be happy together like we once were.
Basically, I think I am realizing it's time for me to get out. I want to be happy again.
But obviously, this is way easier said than done. Logistically speaking, we live together, and both of our names are on a lease for another year. I'm going to have to find a new place in a city I'm not that familiar with, and probably help him find a roommate to take over the lease (I have been trying to stick it out on the lease for a while now, and just don't think it'd be healthy for me to try to stay here another year). And that's not even the hardest part. We almost broke up once already recently, and didn't, because it was easier to seek each other's comfort and hold onto each other making promises to work it out than bear the pain of losing each other. I tried so hard amidst the mess to fight the urge to knock on his door and give him a hug... and just couldn't hold myself back.
I know it's time. I can't keep repeating this cycle. But from where do I summon the willpower to stick with the decision, instead of running back to this person who I've sought comfort from for 4+ years? :(
Any advice would be very much appreciated... | I think it's time to break up with him, but I still love him and don't know how to find the strength to do it without running back to be in his arms afterwards |
t3_2nqen1 | relationship_advice | 28m taking a break with my 27f gf of two years, unsure we should get back | My gf 27f and I 28m are currently on a relationship break.
I made a move out to a new state and city to be with her and support her until she found a new job.
I was able to provide a living for both of us and help her pay her basic expenses and student loans. Her parents were unable to help her and the burden ended up on my shoulders. Eventually we had a lot of money issues since I micromanaged a lot of finances and was very worried about my depleting savings.
I became more of her parent when it came to managing money. Eventually it spread to her issues and we had difficulty being intimate. She felt she was being nagged, while I was fearful we would end up broke from overspending our tight monthly budget.
We tried communicating our issues a few times and ended up making compromises. It was hard to change, but we did it slowly. After about one year of living together and two years together, we realized we were not happy living with each other. A lot had to deal with money and how tighy budgeting really restricted our love life.
Every time we went out, I could not enjoy myself because I was thinking about how much it was going to cost me.
She took steps to curtail spending and but we constantly had unexpected spending of all sorts. Every month we were barely making budget at the expense of our sanity and free time.
We eventually drifted and became more roommates than lovers.
Now we have been on break for over a month. I realize living alone is a lot easier and I dont feel responsible for another person's expenses. I would like to figure out if getting back with her is worth it.
I fear I will end up paying for everything again and become another bank account. | I supported my gf financially for close to a year. Money issues lead to relationship issues. Currently on break and free of financial pressure. Wondering if I should get back but afraid of being a open bank account again. |
t3_tzsnj | AskReddit | Help getting over my bestfriend | Hey Reddit. For the last 14 years (I'm 19) I have been pining over my bestfriend (we will call Anna) in the entire world about a year ago she told a friend, who in turn, told me that "I couldn't date him we are too close, it would be awkward" Jump forward to today I have been dating a girl for almost 9 months now, but I still have intense feelings for Anna.
I have been through all the guides a multitude of times I have at this point removed her from my life but at least once a month thoughts of Anna pop into my head and I have to start the same "grieving" process all over again and I really hate myself for it. I can't keep this up and I have exhaused every other resource. Reddit, please help. | bestfriend since I was 4 friendzoned me, a year later I keeping going through the getting over her process and it hurts each time. What is your best advice for getting past her? |
t3_18e0hj | relationship_advice | How do I express my feelings without anyone getting hurt? | I am 26 female, single mother of two. My bf m29 and he has no kids. My bf and I have known each for two years but have been dating for 2 months. I really like him and he is everything I have ever wanted in a man. My problem is he keeps bringing up past relationships and why they didn't work. And I have heard these stories more then once and have never gotten upset or said you have already said that to me. or when he brings up all the girls that want to ride his motorcycle and I cant help that he is either trying to compare me to them or telling me what not to do. Or when he tells me he doesn't want kids but will treat mine like his. I'm scared that he isn't in this relationship like I am. I am ready for the whole settle down and have a family and be happy with one person and I don't know if he is ready or not. I don't talk about past relationships because they are in the past and that is where they should stay. We had sex for the first time a month ago. We both decided it was best that we wait and not make our relationship based off sex. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings about things. The only serious relationship I have ever been in was my kid's dad and we never talked about anything. So how do I go about telling him how I feel about him and what I want without making myself look like a fool? He is the first guy I have had meet my kids in the two years I have been separated from their dad. I just don't want to get hurt anymore and I don't want to bring them into a relationship that isn't going to last. | Single mom with two kids dating someone who doesn't, how do I go about talking about my feelings without getting hurt? |
t3_176hvv | dating_advice | I(20m) met this pretty Indian girl(20F) in my econ class. | So today, I got to know her better. I had her a long time ago in my Political Science class although I didn't realize it before she told me. She's actually really pretty( Light tan skin, gorgeous hair) compared to most Indian girls that I've seen. We're talking for a long time outside of the class building and I thought she was waiting for a ride. Nope, turns out she drives her own car, so that gave me a thought that she might have an interest in me. I accompany to walk her to her car since the school that I go to usually has reports of muggings. While we are talking I glimpse and see that she is playing with her hair while she's looking at me, so that basically says that she's really interested in me, right? We get to her car and she offers to give me a ride back to my other class. I said no thanks but she insisted because she didn't want me to walk all the way back. We say bye to each other after she drops me off. WE JUST MET AND ALL THIS HAPPENS. So what do I do? I like her as well, but I don't want move things with her fast.
BTW What's up with Indian and Middle Eastern girls having an interest in me? I've noticed that since high school. | Met a pretty Indian girl and we got to know each other pretty well. Has a huge interest in me. Need help on how to move things slow with her. |
t3_19pm8n | relationships | My[25] girlfriend[22] that I started seeing in August 2012, was kissed by someone at a party, but i think she did the rights thing. What do you think? | So my girlfriend was at a party. She was really drunk, and was also been feeling really low at the time. Anyway, to make this short, some guy grabbed her and kissed her. She said she kissed back for a moment, then realized what was happening, pushed him away and told him that this was inappropriate. She immediately left the party and basically cried and was upset the rest of the night. She told me what had happened right away.
Now I am not upset by this at all. Under those conditions, I probably would have reacted exactly the same. However, she still feels really terrible and is beating herself for it. How do I help her recover? Or am I being too soft? | My girlfriend was kissed by someone else, she reacted, pushed him away and told him it was wrong. She feels guilt, how do I help her get over it? |
t3_3nn1in | tifu | TIFU by turning 21 and thinking I was invincible (Possibly NSFW) | Technically yesterday but living with the effects today. Can guarantee that this is going to go the opposite of how most are expecting to go.
Necessary background info:
I was totally straight laced my entire life. I live in Oregon and my boyfriend is a stoner who lives in Washington and recently got me smoking weed. I have horrible stomach problems that are currently still undiagnosed. But part of what's been discovered is I've become both lactose and gluten intolerant out of nowhere. As a result I've spent the last two and a half weeks on a diet that's completely dairy and gluten free. Which means everything delicious and fun is gone.
Now, leading up to the FU. Boyfriend got me a bong and some weed for my birthday. I had decided to say fuck it and eat food that wasn't in the range of safe things to eat because it was my birthday. Agony ensues. A little while after dinner we go to my room and smoke a bit. I take one hit all my stomach pain is completely gone.
My boyfriend had to go back to Washington and later that night I had stomach pain again. I smoke again and just like before all pain is gone. It's still my birthday so I say fuck it again and I begin to completely binge on dairy and gluten like a rabid wolverine. You name it I probably shoved it down my craw. Then I start on all the other things I couldn't eat. Lots of sweets. Nothing is triggering my stomach pain. I don't stop. Nothing could harm me! I was laughing in the face of the gods.
Well in my hubris, I forgot that eating a bunch of unhealthy bullshit is going to upset my stomach like it would anyone else for obvious reasons. And I got the mother of all stomach aches and nausea. Not even the dankest of weed could save me. The mass amounts of milk I drank made my stomach all sloshy and I'm still dealing with residual stomach aches now. I'm just lying here thinking about all the other times karma has bitch slapped me for getting too cocky. I feel like a moron. | Have issues with gluten and dairy, weed fixes that. Binged to hell and back on milk and junk food and got a really bad stomach ache that won't go away because I thought I was untouchable. |
t3_41kz5v | relationships | Me [24 F] with my bf [22M] He never talks, it's getting stressful | My bf and I have been dating for two years. We're currently long distance but that hasn't really proven to be much of an issue. Basically, he's always been an extremely quiet person and isn't in to talking that much. This really threw me off at the beginning of our relationship, I thought he was always mad or bored with me or something. I found myself holding back telling him things so we'd have something to talk about when we were together.
Eventually I guess I got used to it? It was certainly never happy about it but I guess I was just like 'whatever I don't have to deal with this now maybe he'll change or some shit'. He hasn't.
So we'll go to bars some times and he basically won't say anything the whole time, and I'll ask him how he is and he just responds with "Fine, how are you?" like it was some sort of greeting or some shit. Like I'm actually asking him how he is, why is this hard for him? And recently his brother passed away and he really has barely talked about it, and I try not to pressure him because obvs this is a really personal thing that I have no experience of. It's not like he's a stupid person or something--he definitely is thinking about things, he just never articulates them. It's making being with him progressively more difficult--it's very hard to be with someone when you can't support them (because you don't know what they need), they won't tell you what's going on in their life, and honestly I don't enjoy hanging out in silence.
So I guess have multiple questions: Why doesn't he talk? Am I ever going to get through to him or should I break up with him? Is there anything I can do to understand what's going on with him? I really love him and we have a lot in common but having a meaningful convo can be like pulling teeth, and sometimes it's like dating a fucking wall. | Why doesn't my bf talk, it's hard to know what he's feeling or what he thinks. Dating a wall is getting exhausting. Halps. |
t3_cogj8 | AskReddit | What would you do? | I was driving to my friends house to day. While traveling down a 35 MPH road approaching another busy intersection, I see a guy riding a bicycle in the gutter. He is not wearing a helmet, and he has a baby in the child seat on the back of the bike, barely strapped in, and no helmet either. I have personally seen 10 car vs. bicycle accidents in this exact intersection that we were approaching. As he followed behind me, he swerved out 1/4 of the way into the middle of a 4 lane road while looking behind at his kid nearly bouncing out of the seat, then swerved back across to the corner by the right turn lane. I thought he might be drunk and not stop at the corner. Thankfully he stopped. I was infuriated, I felt sick to my stomach. I thought about calling the Police, yet did not, I did nothing. Was I wrong? | Saw a guy riding a bike with an infant, sans helmet or proper seat belt, carelessly down a busy city street and did nothing, problem? |
t3_339i7t | dating_advice | [M28] how does the mixed signals thing work? | Hello reddit.
I am very confused with a situation that has happened recently in two different instances. I don't want to think I am reading too much into this and that I am acting out just as I am expected, but I am asking because I honestly hate not knowing what to do about this dating stuff.
In two different ocasions, with two different girls in my same age group and similar study circumstances, I have been talking with each of them separately and each of them, out of the blue, started talking about how much they can't afford to have a boyfriend in this moment.
I didn't pay much attention to it, but the topic has raised a couple more times, and on those times it was always them being the ones to bring it up, I never insinuated neither asking them out, nor how much fun they are to hang out with or anything, they simply start commenting on that they can't have a boyfriend in this point in their lives.
I would lie if I said that I don't find them interesting, fun and/or attractive, but if they say they don't want a boyfriend, then I get it, they don't, but why does the topic seem to arise when they are talking to me?
As I said, I didn't pay much attention to it on the first time, but it has repeated and I couldn't help but notice the pattern.
So please people, can you let me know wether it just happens to be that this girls are comfortable talking to be about their singlessness or are they sending some mixed signal that I am failing to pick up? | Different girls bring up they can't have a boyfriend while talking to me in different ocasions. Can't tell wether they are sending some sort of signal or it could be a coincidence and I am reading too much into it. |
t3_39teip | relationships | Me [21M] with a girl [21F] I went out on a few dates with. Am I a dick for being concerned with her weight in the back of my head? | Long story short, I met this girl on tinder. Her pictures were either one year old or at a certain angle, so I didn't suspect a thing. When I met her in real life, she was definitely bigger, and not by a small margin. I decided not to jump to quick conclusions and see where this goes.
We went out a few more times, and I actually like her, she has a great personality/interests/etc., but I still get this annoying buzz in the back of my head telling me that she is overweight and that I can do better. I don't really doubt I can, but I like her as a person. She used to be very normal sized her whole life until she started gaining weight about a year ago. And it absolutely kills me to see her back then pictures because she was simply stunning.
As things are starting to get more serious, I don't know what to do. I don't want to break it off with her because she is a great person and I like her, but the thought that a year ago she used to have such an amazing figure and now she is overweight eats me up on the inside.
I would've been totally down for exercising/lifting/running/whatever with her. However, I don't think there is a way I can bring up this issue with her without leaving her terribly offended and crushed.
As for myself, I am a 6ft 155lb guy. I used to go to gym a lot, but I hit a very difficult period in school, so I didn't go in a while, but I actually lost some weight after stopping rather than gaining (sedentary lifestyle combined with the lack of time leaves me feeling less hungry than normal). | Normal guy who went on a few dates with a girl who used to have a stunning figure and who is now overweight, but otherwise a great person. I am very conflicted |
t3_1pqfhd | relationships | I[21M] have been close with her[21F] for the past couple years, and I don't know if she even thinks of me that way | I first met her a couple years ago working at a summer camp that I work at each summer. She's the type of girl that always has guy friends around her; not the typical girly girl. Last summer she helped me match up with my current roommate, who, coincidentally, had an apartment in the same complex as her.
I've always had an attraction to her, but it was never more than a crush, until recently. As I've been spending more time with her, I've noticed so many commonalities that we share. We always get along so well. the thing is, I can't tell at all if she is seeing what I'm seeing. I like to think that I can read people and situations pretty well, but she's different.
On Halloween, I offered to drive her back home to see her family since she doesn't own a car. It was a ton of fun, her family is crazy, and I got a lot of one on one time with her. Honestly, it was the most fun I've had on a Halloween in years (I associate that date with an ex-gf of mine so it's usually a day of bad memories for me). When we got back, we spent hours working on a puzzle (she loves puzzles that are just ridiculous, you should see this monstrosity on my table right now) and flirting. She left for the night because she had to get up early today for a flight, where she is visiting friends for the weekend.
I'm going to ask her out this coming week, when she returns, but I don't know how to go about doing it. She's super busy all the time, because of her work and school, so I'm worried that I'll get turned down just because of that. Also, she's over at my apartment a lot because both my roommate and I are good friends with her, so I don't know how to make sure she knows I'm asking her out rather than just asking her to come hang with us.
I haven't asked a girl out in just over six years, because I had a long-term girlfriend. I don't feel like I even know how to begin. | Meet super cool person at a summer camp. Being kinda attracted to her. Get to know her, she's super cool. Don't know how to ask her out properly. |
t3_3ijii0 | relationships | Me [15 M] with my past friend? [15 F] for a year, To apologize for past mistakes or not? | Alright reddit this is my first serious post on reddit. So to begin some background information.
I was a 6th grader and a new girl(Jaime) had just transferred into my science class. I quickly began to be a friend to her as I was sitting at her table. I was funny and friendly and we texted quite often. A year passes and we are in the same PE class. A few months into the year we are jogging back to the lockers and one of her friends approaches me saying basically that she likes me with (Jaime) standing next to me. For some reason, my 7th grade self totally fucking panics and I just run to the locker without saying anything. I just basically avoided her for the rest of the year and don't talk to her. Now a few years later I'm in sophomore year and I've gotten a few classes in between 7th grade and now with her . I haven't spoken a word to her at all not because I don't like her but because I feel so damn awkward around. Now I've really been thinking and I feel like I should apologize for being a total douche. I don't have any classes with her this year but I see her afat the library often after school. If I should apologize, how should I go about it and what should I say. I want to repair the actions I've done in the past and I feel like this should be the beginning.
Reddit. I need your advice on what to do. | Was friend w/girl in 6th grade. Rejected by running away and and avoiding in 7th. Now want to apologize in 10th |
t3_53vur5 | legaladvice | I bought a used car in PA 3 weeks ago, told there would be a warranty, and the transmission went today and looking through the paperwork, the warranty was signed away. | So I bought a used car from a used car dealership in PA. When we were test driving it, we drove it 3 times, and the dealer told myself and my father that it came with a 3 month, engine and transmission warranty. Obviously in a used car, that appealed to us greatly.
My father was out of town, so I put the car in my mother's name, but I commute to university so I had to get to class, and had to leave before the paperwork was signed and finalized. Well it seems the salesman neglected to tell my mother about the warranty, and she signed it away, thinking myself and my father agreed on no warranty.
It is partly my fault because we let the salesman rush us. We wanted to wait for the end of the week, but he wanted to finalize the sale before the end of the month in August. The car also had to be inspected, which we were told took 2 days because the car was not a high end car. We bought the car on 8/31/2016.
When we got the car home, I started noticing things wrong. There is a coolant leak from a cheaply fixed radiator hose, and some steering component is worn out. I sent the car to transmission shop, and the transmission is shot and needs to be replaced for $2250.
I know the warranty was signed away, but I know there is no way the dealer, which has it's own shop could sell this car and not know about the damage. The coolant was clearly cleaned up so I find it hard to believe they did not know about it. Do we have a leg to stand on, or did all hope go away with signing away the warranty? | Bought a used car, told there would be a warranty when test driving, no warranty at sale 3 days later. Transmission needs replacing after 3 weeks. Is there anything we can do? |
t3_4m2iv3 | relationships | Me [23 M] with the girl I'm dating [19 F]. Third date. I've never been in a relationship and I need advice in case things get serious. | So I met this girl on OKCupid, and so far I've been on 2 dates. .Both on the same day.(so 1 date?) One at 12 am where we met for the first time and went to drink some coffee, and the second time, later that evening when she invited me to this stand up at a pub.
The second time we met, I kissed her... to be fair, we passionately kissed each other a number of times, she was touchy feely, but subtle ( caressing my legs, my arms etc), and the night ended perfectly.
We are set up to meet again tomorrow in a park. The thing is,' I've never been in a relationship and I have no experience on how to proceed in the future. We both seem to like each other so.. how do things usually progress to something more serious? Do we just go on more dates? Does it have to be something different each time? I just like being with her, the location doesn't matter, and I can't afford restaurants and stuff like that, I'm in a bad spot financially, because I am a student and other unimportant details...
To get to the point. We both like each other, how should this evolve? How does it usually evolve? When is it appropriate for me to invite her to my place?(not necessarily for sex, although that would be a great bonus).
What about texting? Do you guys text your SO every day? When I have nothing interesting to say I just say "hey, how are you" add a kiss emoji, to which she usually reciprocates. Yesterday she was the one who texted me first and I was happy since that shows she's as interested as I am. But how will this evolve from now on?
How is a relationship maintained once two people are in one? What do you do daily? | Met a girl. I've never been in a relationship. We both seem to like each other and things might be getting serious. I need advice on "how to relationship". |
t3_30193p | relationships | Me [17F] getting back together with my [20M] ex of 3 months? | My ex broke up with me several months ago for no serious reason. I think he just felt that "the grass was greener somewhere else", and wanted to try being single for awhile since he is a little older than I am and wanted freedom. We've kept in touch since then, and just recently asked me if I'd like to get back together. He knows I would jump at the chance to have him back, since I am still very much in love with him.
However, I have some doubts. Since our breakup, I know he has been texting several girls/has dating profiles he visits frequently, but never seems to actually do anything in person with anyone. I'm questioning that if we get back together, will he ever grow up and stop the online games he plays with these girls - receiving pictures from them, flirting, etc.
I'd appreciate any advice on what to do. We could always stay friends and see what the future holds, but while the option is available, I'm tempted to take him back. | Ex boyfriend is willing to get back together with me, but I don't know if he'll end his new habits. |
t3_s9bnv | AskReddit | Reddit, what is the weirdest advice you have ever received? | This is my story:
When i was little i watched a lot of family movies. Thing i was fascinated about was that for main characters there always was a relative or good friend who gave them a pretty good life advice. The one day i decided i also want to have that kind of person, the first person i thought about was my american grandma, so i went to her in that day and asked to give me life advice which could help me in my way of life. I don't know if she was high or something (she loved to roll some joints), but this is advice which she gave me in that day: "Son, if someday your nigger slave runs away, get the watermelon" | I asked for a life advice to my american grandma (who probably was high at the moment) and she answered: "Son, if someday your nigger slave runs away, get the watermelon" |
t3_2sw6kr | jobs | I currently work in the adult industry but am looking to get out. How do I address this when applying for jobs? | After graduating with a B.A. in 2012, I had a really tough time finding a full time job in my field. I managed to get a really good opportunity at a non-profit but it was *extremely* part-time, as in a single 3 hour shift once a month. I ended up finding a part-time retail gig but was unable to support myself and had to move in with my parents. It took me over a year after moving in with them to get an offer for a full-time job in my field that allowed me to support myself. The problem was, it was in the adult industry, and my true passion lies in more family-friendly non-profits. I was desperate so I took it.
It's been a year working here and I've learned some decent transferable skills. The job isn't bad but I'm not happy here and want to follow my passion. Now that I feel confident enough to apply for the jobs I want, I am both terrified and mortified. While the name of my company isn't obvious that it is in the adult industry, a quick Google search will confirm it.
I still kept the part-time job at the non-profit and for the past 2.5 years very occasionally work weekends there. Finally a new position has now opened up there and I want to apply. I may or may not be fully qualified but it sounds so amazing I can't pass it up. Unfortunately due to my few hours on the job I don't have any rapport with the other employees. I feel like my boss barely knows me since we never work at the same time and my work is very independent. She doesn't know my full-time job is in the adult industry but she'll know when I apply for this position. The non-profit is a very family friendly place so I'm not sure if they'll accept it. | I'm assuming many employers will see the fact that I've worked in the adult industry as a deal breaker, am I right? |
t3_1jkznb | AskReddit | For those of you employed in a career or job that you truly love, did you always know you'd end up doing that for a living or did you spend a long time looking to find a job that is fulfilling? | I'm 21, set to graduate from the university of Miami this coming May as an accounting major. After a not-so-satisfying (in terms of the type of work I had to do) tax accounting internship, I've been questioning if i have the right path for my future. I've considered manual work for a while, sales, possibly retail, and even enlisting in the coast guard (I,really like the possibility of the coast guard but there are so many enlisted right now it would be hard to advance). Anyway I've spent hours researching careers and want to hear from those of you in a job you really love.
Please say how you hot started in that career, and why you love it
Some things to know about me. I really don't work behind a desk my whole life. I want to travel a bit, which is why I'm interested in the coast guard. I don't mind getting my hand dirty. I love working out and whatever i choose would ideally allow me to continue to exercise and/or workout a few times a week. | having trouble finding a career, would like to find a job that starts as entry level with little outside knowledge, which could turn into a lifelong pursuit. Ideally not a desk job. |
t3_1udb0y | relationships | The man [M28] that I'm [F23] seeing said something last night has irked me, and brought up a lot of questions... | Hello reddit. Been feeling shitty about this all day, and I feel stupid even feeling like this. Let me explain.
I started seeing a guy in October. It's been great, he's sweet and kind, everything has been going smoothly and we've steadily been getting closer as time goes on. We both live in our own places, and have been seeing more and more of each other. We started sleeping together around Halloween, and I lost my virginity to him (which he knows).
We did establish right away that he didn't want a serious relationship, but that we were exclusive. I've been totally fine with this, though I am open to a relationship if that were to happen.
So last night we were laying in bed, post coitus, just talking and relaxing. The subject got on to my best friend and roommate [F20], and he said "she is just the cutest girl, so cute, her [positive trait 1] and her [positive trait 2], you just want to take care of her." I immediately was taken aback and felt like crying. It was just the worst time to say something like that. I didn't say anything, just sort of agreed and changed the subject.
This totally messed up my day today, I couldn't focus on work, and found that I started comparing my every trait with hers, and feeling resentment. I feel absolutely ridiculous that I'm feeling these things, but I am. I'm also not sure what to think since later that same night he was telling me about how he told his friends more about me and how great I am. It was a very weird compliment sandwich.
Is this something I should worry about, or talk to him about? Do guys generally find a girl to be annoying or needy for bringing up something like this? Should we have a conversation about our relationship status? | Guy I'm seeing said something about my best friend/roommate right after sex, I feel messed up about it. |
t3_1bnfjy | AskReddit | How to deal with a dyeing pet? | My family adopted a dog about 11 years or so ago. [(heres a pic if you really care.)] we all know she getting old and is going blind. (you can see it in her eyes.... literally...) last week I told my mom if anything I hope she doesn't get cancer and that kill her...my stupid mouth I know, well last night my mom found a lump/bump under her left leg and she is now having problems breathing. (she survived distemper really young but was left with breathing problems) My mom says she wont do anything until she is in pain but I know im going to have to tell her that she needs to go to the vet. My mom just got over depression and I think she is just in denial about it and im scared about what she may become if we have to put her down. | childhood dog is dyeing right before me, family is in denial. How can I deal with this/get my parents though this. Do you suggest getting a dog right after? or waiting? Do you suggest just moving on? |
t3_4r7cd9 | relationships | A friend of a friend [26 M] brought randomly a girl to my holiday house and had sex with her in the other room. Upsets me [29 M] a lot, what to do? | A friend [27 M] and a friend of his [26 M] are my guests at my holiday house for one night. The friend of the friend, spontaneously invites a girl he has met once in a refugee camp (they both volunteered there) to my holiday house and has sex with her early in the morning.
It was three of us sleeping in one room and the girl in the other. Early this morning, the friend of the friend went in that room and had sex with her. My friend woke up, brought his laptop and started working as if nothing was happening.
I woke up from the noises and told my friend that his friend is a jerk to bring strangers he met once in his life to have sex in my holiday house. And then I went out because I was angry. When I came back, 15 minutes later, sex was over and his friend told me that he is sorry but I am still very very angry. I felt that his act is very disrespectful.
My friend said he is sorry too and he added that he agrees it is uncool what his friend just did.
They are very good friends with eachother, maybe best friends. I have seen his friend like 2-3 times in my life, so I don't really know him well.
I am throwing a party tonight so I don't want this to ruin the evening, but I am so angry I just cant get rid of this feeling.
What should I do? I am very angry.
Am I right to be angry in this situation? | A friend of a friend [26 M] brought randomly a girl to my holiday house and had sex with her in the other room. Upsets me [29 M] a lot, what to do? |
t3_1qcrte | relationships | [21M] how do I handle [20F] constant flirting | So Ive got this really good friend who Ive been friends with for the past 4 years or so. She is probably my best girl friend. I am somewhat interested in her but always kept her on the back burner because I always figured I'd get the "we're just too good friends" shenanigan.
So she is very flirty with me, always calling me hubby and that Im her favorite and all that. We used to text every day, but now we dont text too often, which is usually a clear sign that she's not too interested in me. Cool, no big deal.
But she CONSTANTLY flirts with me and gets my hopes up. When Im with her in person, she is very talkative and I always get the vibe that she is interested in me. And because I am somewhat interested in her, every time she flirts and I try to make moves only to them come to no avail or not be returned, it bums me out and pisses me off. In one instance she did it so badly that I got so mad I didnt talk to her for a while, which she got upset about and kept pressing me what was wrong. | how do I handle a really flirty best friend who Im kind of interested in but when push comes to shove, nothing happens. |
t3_w3m39 | AskReddit | After reading about someone else's positive experience with Amazon my husband decided to call them about my stepson's broken Kindle and they said there was nothing they could do. Whats the worst customer care experience you've had? | Ok so I read about [this customer care experience] and after reading some of the positive comments about replacing Kindles and other products my husband decided to call them about his son's broken Kindle. He broke it 3 months after purchase by accidentally leaning on it while it was on his bed. We called in and they said that "accidents" weren't covered under the warranty and said they would charge us $70 to replace it. We forked out the money that time for it. Well, a few months later his 1 1/2 year old little sister leaned on it while climbing up on his bed when he wasn't in there and it cracked the screen once again. We never called in about it because we didn't have the money to replace it again. So today when we called we were given the same treatment as well as being told the product is now out of warranty so we would have to pay $65 for a replacement this time. Even after telling them we had heard of other people in the same situation getting a free replacement.
So reddit, what companies have you heard have good customer support, give you a bad experience? | Amazon wanted to charge me for a Kindle replacement a 2nd time when they give them to others free under the same situation. |
t3_1g0a47 | tifu | TIFU With airsoft | So today I was bored and just laying around and browsing on my phone. Then I randomly find one of my airaoft BB's on my bed and while I'm laying there on my phone just start to mess around with it in my hand. Then I put it by my ear and set it in the little gap part. Then as I go to take it put my finger knocks it in and it falls down into my ear canal. I then proceed to try and take it out but it's already lodged in. So now I'm on my way to the emergency room after trying everything I could to try and get it out so there's my f*ck up for today. | Messing around with an aairsoft BB and it fell in my ear and now I'm going to the emergency room haha. |
t3_pqgsh | relationships | At what point is it my responsibility to tell my enamored friend that I'm not interested? | I'm 20F in college, friend in question is 20M.
He's interested in me.
We both know that I know. Everybody in our extracurricular social group knows and tries to set us up at every opportunity (seating us together, making awkward and not-subtle comments to us in conversations, etc).
THE PROBLEM: I'd turn him down, but he hasn't given me the opportunity. He hasn't asked me out, told me of his interest, or done **anything** direct. He's using the fact that I know and I haven't shut him down as my implicit agreement to his courting (I think). I feel so uncomfortable as I feel that the burden of responsibility has now been shifted to me.
**My Question:
At this point, am I allowed to sit him down, ask myself out for him, and then turn it down?** I don't want him to waste mental energy on me when I know the outcome.
**1. I feel like a really, really rotten person** for the fact that my inaction is leading him on. I also have nascent feelings of anger for him putting me in this position. I'm not sure which side is winning currently.
**2. What is my responsibility here? | Friend likes me, we both know I know but he won't ask me out/explicitly address it. What is my responsibility here?* |
t3_17a7dz | relationships | Green eyed monster at work: me (M27), her (F22) and him (M34) | I have this strange situation and I really think reddit can help me on how to take it.
I'm M27 and have/had a crush on the F22 co-worker. She wanted to make friends with me but came out as flirty rather than friendly. So I asked her out. Then she revealed she has a boyfriend and I backed down. This other co-worker (M34) is a married man (10+ years) and used to be my friend (common hobbies type of friendship now that I think about it).
These two flirt almost daily. He initiates most of the time, and she accepts the attention but does not get that flirty with him. Sometimes she initiates but keeps it friendly. Somehow she's trying to ignore his flirting but she does crave his attention. They started getting lightly physical (touches etc.),
I'm trying to contain my jealousy. Basically what I'd tell these two is: "What is wrong with you? You both have long term relationships. What is this game you're playing?" but I know I have no right. Maybe I'm a head in the clouds romantic, but what they do is pretty low behavior. Monkeys do not let go of a branch until they hang on to another, but people should have character, right?
This has been going on for a few months now.
How can I take all this? I still have to work with these people but it really bothers me. Am I on a moral high ground? Or am I a stuck up shut in guy, and free love is in vogue nowadays? | Broken love triangle. Him and her are almost cheating on their partners. I'm jealous and judgmental. Every time he makes her laugh *that* way I die a bit inside. |
t3_36lisc | offmychest | I am your worst prom date, fitting you with boredom and a future of regret | My friend asked me to prom (not sure why but eh) and he's been a good friend of mine for like 5/6 years. Since we go to different schools, we agreed (mostly he asked which one I wanted to go to and I was like both?) to go to both of our proms.
Now, I had a lot of fun at his prom. I felt really special and his friends were really nice and I was so happy the whole time.
But I'm having mine in a month and I'm starting to worry that I can't give him that special feeling that I felt at his prom. I mean, his friends are nice and they really are close friends. Now my friends? My friends are from all over the place. I never really fit into a 'group' and made friends on an individual basis. I never had a crew to call my own and I'm really worried that this will detract from the night? I mean, isn't it kind of sucky if your date doesn't really have a cohesive group that will go take pictures, dance, etc with you all night? Especially if you don't know anyone else at that school? And some of my closer friends aren't even going because their significant others' parents won't let their kid go so I'll have even less friends there. (Maybe one isn't going by choice though)
/of course this led to the 'oh no I don't have close friends at all where did I go wrong?' thought train/
But I had thought about getting him flowers and making cake pops and the whole shebang cos I really just want him to feel special on prom night. But now I'm realizing maybe I can't because of my crappy inadequate self that can't make and keep friends. Like I wish I could do the 'I'm going to pick you up at 4:00 and I have everything figured out for us' sort of thing that he did for his prom night. | I have no friends, will fail at making prom night special for my date, and I still don't know why he asked me to prom in the first place. |
t3_w00d9 | dating_advice | friends with benefits with feelings involved | I am 19 year old female involved with a 19 year old male. We were previously involved with each other a little over a year ago and have remained really close friends since. He is a student at a military academy and I go to school across the country.
Anyway, this past week he has been home on leave and we ended up having sex and decided to be friends with benefits. I brought up rules, mostly because I wanted to see what he wants in the future and to get a better idea of what our relationship is. After talking, we both know we want to be together and like each other. He doesn't want to commit to a relationship right now since academy life is demanding but possibly in the future would be open to a relationship. I don't really want to be with anyone else and wouldn't mind some sort of exclusivity and I told him that, but the timing is just wrong. I really don't know what to do. Should I wait things out or should I move on? I feel like this happened really fast and I don't want to make any rash decisions. I have three weeks to think things over until he is home again and am open to any advice. | Unsure how I should approach a friends with benefits relationship when we both have feelings for each other, but are living a couple thousand miles apart. |
t3_2ecbej | relationships | Me [19 M] and my girlfriend [19 F] are in a long distance relationship.Lacking communication. | Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over three months. We've been friends though since about last October. We met at college, a little after she decided to transfer to another school. This new school is in Alabama whereas mine is in New York. We decided to try long distance. I knew that there would be less texting and skyping between us. I did not know that there would be this small of an amount.
The first few days were fine. We texted normally and had actual conversations. Lately though, she has seemed more distant and concise with her texts. It also seems like if I don't text her, we don't talk at all. She tells me she's just busy making new friends and going to class, but no one is so busy that they can't text their boyfriend for ten minutes.
Maybe i'm just being paranoid and need to give her more time to settle in or something. I don't know. It's just weird to me. One day out of the blue she just doesn't seem as into the relationship as she was. | Girlfriend [19] and me [M 19] trying long distant. Recently her texts have been more distant and concise. If I don't text her, we don't talk at all. Please read the full problem. |
t3_4ydgc5 | legaladvice | My employer hasn't been deducting my health insurance premiums and I'm about to leave the company (MA) | When I started my job 15 months ago I signed up for health and dental insurance. Everything has been working as it should (i.e. I used it successfully and received the relevant tax forms). However, HR just pulled me aside and disclosed that they made a mistake and haven't been deducting the premium from my paycheck. Yes, I could have caught this if I studied my pay stubs more closely. But this was also my first job out of college and my first time with my own insurance. And it was their responsibility to take care of payroll.
HR was very, very apologetic and said that they will work with me on a payback plan. While I would like for them to call it a wash and start charging me, I understand this isn't how things work and that I will have to repay them.
The issue is that I have accepted a position at another company and will be giving my notice on tomorrow.
They can't deduct the entire sum owed ($140/mo x 15 mos = $2100) as it's more than my paycheck after taxes. I live/work in MA, which has fairly strong employee protections. What, if any, legal recourse do I have? I'm not trying to avoid paying, just trying to make sure I'm informed and not about to lose two weeks of pay. | I owe my employer $2100 for health insurance that they failed to deduct but I'm about to put in my two weeks'. |
t3_2ov4am | relationships | [Breakups] Me [19M] with my Ex-GF[23F]. She cheated on me and looking for revenge. | Hi guys,
My problem is I was with older woman. She told me that she loved me and we would be together forever etc. But after couple of months she just cheated on me and she broke up. It would be OK, unless after breaking with her new ex-bf she wanted me to be her friend. It wasn't fair for me, so I told her I wouldn't stand it. Now she is looking for taking revenge on me (e.g. she gossips to my friends, telling them weird thing about me) and I don't know what to do and how I should react. | My ex-gf cheated on me and now she's trying to take revenge on me for not being her friend. |
t3_43tct4 | relationships | I [20 M], have pissed off my brother [18 M] by going out with my friends and explicitly not inviting him, then accidently putting him down. | So I went out with two good friends tonight, and my brother got very angry when I tried to explain why he wasn't invited. I started by explaining we had different levels of life experience, to which he responded that he was more mature than the three of us put together, and he'd punch me in the face if I kept putting him down. He failed to see the irony.
Next I tried explaining that my friends and I have really started to get to know each other lately, and he interrupted and said I'd "better unfuck myself real fast". Now might be a good time to mention he can bench press me about 4 times over, and was sitting well within arms reach.
I told him that situation wasn't helping, and he told me to get out. I did. He left a little while ago to go somewhere else for the night, taking his school with him, and I started writing this post. I also texted my 2 friends a short message explaining he was pissy about it, which may or may not have been a good idea.
This is the first time anyone's ever been really angry with me, what the hell do I do? | Went out with my friends, brother's pissed he couldn't tag along. He left to go angst for a while. |
t3_3d66oo | relationships | Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [17 F] 1 month, She called me boy another guys name | Hello, last night me and my girlfriend had sex for the first, which didn't go too well but that is a question for another subreddit.
The next morning, we are fooling around, play fighting and what not and she calls me by another boys name.
I know for a fact that this boy (the name she called me) has been sending her messages like "I think I'm and love" and sending her messages all throughout the day.
She will not let me read her phone, nor will she tell me what this boy is telling her, only that, he is being a dick.
She was distraught afterwards, close to tears, I had to calm her down, telling her it didn't bother me.
It really did, I need help. | My girlfriend called me by another boys (who she is currently in contact with) name! Am I being played? Who is this guy? Should I be worried? What should I say to her? |
t3_x71w7 | AskReddit | I'm an Indian in South Carolina. The other day I experienced blatant racism. You guys ever experienced racism to the face? | I was driving down the road in my Honda Accord (generic Indian car) and I pulled up to a stoplight. As I was sitting there, I see a car pull up next to me with three guys in it. They're sitting in their Honda Civic and ask me to roll my window down, to which I do accordingly thinking they might need directions. Then this: "Hey man, that's a nice camel you're riding there." The other two start laughing hysterically as I hit them with a confused look on my face. They then sped off. I didn't even get a chance to respond (which would've been: "What are you talking about, you drive a car made by the same manufacturer. I'm literally confused by your statement") When has someone been racist to your face with no shame about it?
Oh and for the record, I was born here in the states. They must've just thought I was someone from Middle Eastern descent due to my brown complexion. | Southern racists don't mind foreign cars unless people who look like foreigners drive them. When has someone been racist to your face and acted like it was no big deal? |
t3_3hg4l6 | tifu | TIFU by failing at parking | Full disclosure: this FU happened yesterday.
I just got my license two weeks ago despite the fact that I'm 21 and I now have no idea why I waited so long since being able to drive is usually awesome. My godmother gave me her fiancé's old car, a well-preserved 2004 Saturn L300.
So, I drove to the nearby grocery store to get some last-minute dinner ingredients and neatly pulled into my small parking space. So when I leave I'm pulling out of the space and hit this yellow metal post with my front bumper. I tried cranking the wheel to the right and pulling forward, stuck. Tried backing out more, stuck. Tried backing out more plus more gas and I hear a really bad sound and see a woman pulling into the lot give me a look of horror and pity. I still can't really see what's going on so I decide to drive about 15 feet and pull over.
At this point I hear a really loud grinding/scraping and see something in my peripheral vision. I pull over, put on my hazards and park and then get out of my car to see I've ripped off my entire front bumper and then run over it, getting it stuck in one of my rear tires! Some nice strangers helped me and then I drove another block, parked and cried in my car like a loser. | TIFU by ripping off my front bumper after only having a car and a license for 2 weeks and then proceeded to bawl my eyes out like a loser. |
t3_3283ab | tifu | TIFU by eating a pizza. | Like with most posts, this happened last Thursday.
I'm on a trip to Washington DC. Long day of walking and whatnot. Decide to get some dinner at some Italian restaurant. Get in and sit down. See some tasty pizza on the menu. Hell yeah I'm starving. So I order that. Food comes, super tasty. So we're done eating and decide to walk down to the White House since it's only about a 40 minute walk. So, we reach the White House, take a few pictures, all that tourist BS. Then it hits me like freight train. I gotta poop, seriously bad. It feels like a battering ram beating down my rear gates. I can barely walk. Currently there's a lot of construction going on around that area, so there are no nearby bathrooms at all. I'm fucked. I decide to sit down and see if I can wait it out. Nope. Gates breached, juiciest bit of flow comes out. I clench for my life. Take my jacket off and wrap it around my waist. I sit for 5 minutes and decide to get up. Walk to the nearest road and get a cab to my hotel. Roll all the windows down. Arrive at the hotel. Luckily no-one is at the elevator. Speed walk to my room and right to the bathroom.
Luckily the group of teenagers in front of me had no idea what just happened. | In D.C. had some pizza, walked to the white house. Ass goes nope, shit myself in front of the White House. Nope out of there to my hotel room, proceed to cry on toilet. |
t3_45v8wq | relationships | Im [18M] going to the movies with a girl [19F] for a 2nd date, and scared to make a first move. | As said in the title, this is our second date together. Tbh I don't really count the first one as the "first" since she brought her friends to the basketball game (we left early to go back to her house and watch netflix, ended up staying til one in the morning). But thats another story. We need to focus on the future.
Yes I know someones gonna comment it so i'll say it now, I know it should be a special moment, so you really shouldn't be thinking about it. But I can't take my mind off it. That's all i've really been thinking about, first date there wasnt really any contact between, so I want to make this one more "special". I've been trying to hint that I like her by saying certain stuff, and I think shes been catching on.
Do you guys believe I should try and make a move during the movie? After or maybe even before the movie? When I say "make a move" I mean like hold her hand. Not necessarily a kiss, since it's only the second date and i'm trying to take it slow. I think on the first date we really hit it off! So I dont want to fuck this up reddit! I need your advice! Please comment if you have any idea what I should do, thanks in advance ;) | I'm going on a second date tomorrow and I dont know if I should make a move on her just yet, since I dont wanna fuck the relationship up yet. |
t3_4a2fy1 | relationships | My [26F] Grandpa [74M] is depressed, recently a widower, cancer-ridden and living alone. How can I step up? | My grandmother died last month after a long battle with multiple diseases, leaving behind my grandfather who is also very sick with multiple kinds of cancers. He's debating going into full hospice (he's partial hospice at home now.)
He is very depressed. My mother and I don't want to leave him alone but he lives a good drive away and refuses to move out of the house. To make matters more difficult he is a heavy smoker and visiting becomes an affair where you have to immediately go home, change clothes and shower. Neither my aunt or uncle are stepping up to help keep him company or take him to the doctor. This means I'll have to make the drive more often.
Because I'm recently married, have my own chronic illness, and have been in a migraine spiral the last few weeks--the responsibility has fallen largely on my mom.
But I'm realizing that there is no equation where this works out where I don't step in and help. How can I help when my own health is unpredictable? On days I can't make the drive--what can I do from home? And when I'm with him--how can I help with his depression?
Anybody been here with a grandparent before? Would love some first-hand advice on being there at the end. | Grandpa is sick with cancer. I'm sick and it's hard for me to get around, but I want to step up, chip-in, and help. What are some ways I can do that? |
t3_ydpk0 | relationships | Am I being a bad guy here? Me and my best friend of 6 years are closer than her and her boyfriend of (almost) 2 years. [22m][21f] | So, like the title says. I've been best friends with this girl for 6 years now. It's a completely platonic relationship (I know some of you seem to believe that doesn't work, but stay with me here. That isn't the topic of this post).
She has been dating this guy for a few months under 2 years. Regardless of this fact, I remain her best and closest friend. She confides in me a lot of stuff, concerning her life or the relationship. Just stuff that is going on in her life.
This is all fine and dandy, but now that you guys have some background on the situation, I have a question for you. Until recently, the term emotional cheating has never crossed my mind. The only reason it has is because I've stumbled on it a few times on reddit, and now it has me thinking. Am I considered the bad guy in their relationship? Is she technically emotionally cheating, if neither him nor her thinks of it this way?
I don't feel bad about this. She is my best friend in the world, and if she couldn't talk to me like she can, then the relationship would be quite empty.
I'm sure some of you can understand. I'm just looking for some insight here. I'm perfectly willing to have the (probably awkward / difficult) conversation with her if needed, even talking to her boyfriend about it. He trusts her enough to be with me pretty often (he lives over an hour away), hell I even took her camping (+2 others) with drinking involved.
Anyway, here is my story. Looking for anyone with similar experiences or advice. | Me and a Girl have been best friends for over 6 years, am I a bad guy for not backing up even though no pressure is being applied for me to? |
t3_4fo4c0 | relationships | 32/m with 30/f for 8 months - I am thinking about proposing later this year, but want a prenup. Would you talk about it before or after proposing? | I love my girlfriend very much and things have been going well. My girlfriend and I immediately clicked from the first date, and we've both been talking about planning a future together for a while now. We never fight, we've traveled together and had no issues, and generally it's just a very easy relationship.
I think I want to propose this fall, but I also want a prenup. I've seen a lot of failed relationships from friends, family, and myself. People change, and sometimes things just don't work out for whatever reason.
I currently own a business and expect to sell it in 1-2 years for somewhere around $10-15,000,000. Right now she makes about $50k/yr and I make $250k/yr, but that will be closer to $400k/yr right before I sell. Right around the time we get married, I would be depositing some very large checks.
When I bring it up, I want to frame it as protecting both of us, because I know that if we start a family she will be sacrificing some of her career options, and so if things didn't work out I would want her to be compensated fairly for not working and needing time to find a job, etc... At the same time, I worked hard to get where I'm at, and I would feel hurt if she walked away with millions just because she married me.
The most fair way I can think of structuring the agreement is something like, "for every year of marriage, $80k" or something like that.
Anyway, my main question is whether you would bring it up before or after getting engaged? If she has a big problem with it, I don't want her to feel pressured to agree after we're already engaged and she faces social pressure/embarrassment. At the same time, it's an awkward conversation and I don't want to feel like I'm negotiating a marriage contract before she's even agreed to marry me. Thoughts? | I will soon have around $10MM in my account after I sell my business. I want a prenup, but unsure of the best time to bring it up with gf. |
t3_2ftfv8 | relationships | Me [19M] not inviting people ([20F][20M][21M]) to a party. | Okay, I'm going to try to keep this somewhat brief. Going to make a key for the names and ages of each person:
20F = Jennifer
20M = George
21M = Ron
So, I was previously in a relationship with Jennifer. It was okay, but towards the end it turned toxic. She ended up cheating on me with George and we broke up after that. Well it turned out that she had also cheated on me with Ron several months back and kept it to herself. Been No Contact since and on a good course for recovery.
This is where it gets awkward. All four of us are in an organization on campus. This organization typically has a few parties a semester and normally everyone gets invited out. This semester I got tasked with running one of our larger events and I had the idea to have a party afterwards as a sort of celebration. If I do this, a lot, if not all, of the members from the organization will want to come. I don't want to be seen as starting drama or being exclusive, especially since our organization prides itself on friendship. That being said, these three people are all executive members in the organization so I really am not sure how to handle this.
As it stands I'm definitely not inviting Jennifer, but for the other two I'm not sure if I want to make a scene about it. I know it's my house and my rules and I can do whatever, but I guess what I'm asking is: Am I making too big of a deal over this? It was a past relationship and while they did betray my trust, should I exclude them from organization events because of it? | Ex-gf cheated on me with 2 people in an organization I'm in. Wondering if it would be making to much drama to tell them they are not invited. |
t3_27pwun | relationships | [23 F] never initiates any conversation with me [21 M] when we're not together. | I've been talking to this girl for about a month now, and we've admitted that we both like each other. We're like peas and carrots whenever we go on a date. We've kissed, held hands, and all that good stuff, but my problem is when we aren't together, it's like she doesn't exist until I make plans for our next meet. She never initiates any contact with me unless I am the one to do it first. I'll also say that we've been meeting up about a couple times a week.
Whenever I do text her, she replies quickly but with very very short texts. I usually get texts that are "haha, yeah, lol sure, no XD, ok, kk ^ ^ " I don't send long texts either. I was busy all of last weekend so we couldn't see each other. When I was finally free, I texted her to see how her weekend went. "Work haha" was her reply. I'm not expecting her to tell me every single thing that happened during her weekend but it'd be nice to at least some connection with her when we're not together.
Do girls want guys to do all the initiating? I've looked into the whole "Girls like to be chased" ordeal, but is this some sort of extreme? Or is this just her not liking to text that much? Should I be trying to contact her a different way? Calling is not a problem for me either, but I'm usually not the type to call someone just to ask about their day and then hang up. | Girl and I like each other, and we meet when we can. She never initiates any contact unless I do it first. But when I do initiate contact, she gives 1-2 word replies. |
t3_3s1l3p | relationships | I [24 M] can't get over comments I overheard from gf [23 F] of 1 year | The other day, my gf had some college friends over to her apartment and it offered me a chance to meet them since she and I met after she graduated. For the purposes of this post I'll call my gf Abby and the relevant conversational partner Betty.
Since they were all catching up with each other one of the major topics was love interests, dating scenes, that sort of thing. At one point I stepped out of the main area to get a beer from the kitchen. There's not much of a divider between the kitchen and this area so I could clearly hear the conversation.
When I was in there Betty said that she had been using dating sites but that most of the guys she met were too short. The other girls in the room sort of moaned in a statement of commiseration. At this point I could hear Abby whisper to Betty: "I'm so glad that [sundaythrowaway12] isn't short," after which they all laughed. I returned to the room and acted like I hadn't heard anything. The rest of the evening went smoothly.
In the days since then I can't get over this statement. I guess in one way it could be interpreted as a compliment but in another it feels like a huge insult; if I had been shorter Abby wouldn't have dated me (for information I am 6'2" and she is about 5'5"). I also have quite a few short friends and I could imagine how it would hurt them to hear this group laughing about their dismissal of short guys. Since that incident I just can't help but think of Abby as shallow and judgemental.
Am I overreacting to this? Should I confront Abby, or just suck it up? I do think we have a good relationship but my opinion of her has already started to slip in light of this. | I overheard my gf and friends denigrating short guys and her imply that she wouldn't date me if I were short. Am I right to be skeeved out by this? |
t3_4zu0k7 | relationship_advice | I'm [20/f], would you also take offence to friends who don't wish you a happy birthday? | It may seem petty, but it's my 20th birthday today. I understand that some friends may be busy or have probably forgotten and that's fine, but I'm talking about the ones who definitely know that it's my birthday, and that I always wish a happy birthday to every single year.
For example, on Snapchat I've had various 'close' friends who watched my snapchat story where it's obvious that it's my birthday, and have been online on social media such as whatsapp yet have said nothing to me.
I'm a very sensitive person so I'm finding it a bit upsetting that some of these people that I have done so much for, always been there for no matter what time it is and sent heartfelt birthday wishes to them annually would be aware that it's my 20th birthday today and say nothing :/ It only takes a few seconds and some of them have been online all day. Or is my disappointment juvenile? Interested in hearing your take on it. | Close friends that I always wish a happy birthday know it's my bday and said nothing. Should I take offence? |
t3_49oqf4 | cats | Can I do something? Please help. | So my cat is now around a year old (found him on a road, don't know his exact birth date but we found him as a very little furball) and he's begun setting his territory, by peeing on it. We won't be able to get him to a vet (you know, to get him done *that*) until a few days. Is there anything I can do to prevent him from stinking the whole house? Locking him in the balcony isn't an option at all, as it is snowy and windy outside. Also it would not be very human to do so. Any advice would be appreciated. | my cat marks territory and can't get him fixed until a few days, what can I do so he doesn't mark the whole house? |
t3_15evwi | relationship_advice | Hoping to get some advice! [21/f] | I'm currently single, and lately I have been doing a lot of thinking about my dating history. I have been in several serious relationships, and I have cared a lot about each person I've dated. Things usually go great for the first few months, but after awhile I inevitably become hyper-aware of where I "rank" in the relationship. That is, I make a decision on who is the "reacher" and who is the "settler" between the two of us, and I really think that this is the root of how all my relationships have ended. I end up unhappy in either case, and I would love to just go through a relationship feeling that I am truly equal to the guy I'm dating. In a lot of ways I think this makes me pretty shallow, but I really hate it about myself and want to change.
My question is, what can I do to change this about myself? And at the very least, how can I make it stop affecting every one of my relationships so much? | Every relationship I've been in has boiled down to one "reacher" and one "settler" in my mind, and I'd like advice on how to get a new perspective. |
t3_4ea8hu | relationships | Me [19 M] with my crush/friend [18 F] we both like each other but we don't know if we can do anything about it! | I always knew her peripherally. She was the girl that everyone said my friend (#1) had a crush on, but he would never admit it. Then she got involved with someone else (#2), a random guy who eventually became a good friend as well. Then things fizzled out with #2, but everyone stayed friends. #1, #2 and I became good friends. Even planning to move in together next year. Then we all went to a party. I saw a bunch of guys approach her, trying to talk to her, but she waved them off and amazingly, she would come sit with me. We chatted (having never really interacted much before) and danced all night. A few times we came close to kissing but we never went that far. So now I guess you could say I'm smitten, but I'm very aware that maybe its not meant to be. What do you think I should do? Should I tread carefully? One of my other friends (who doesn't know her that well) said maybe she's just the kind of girl that is interested for a little while but can't stick around that long. What do you think? | I like a girl, but she used to go out with one of my roommates for next year (but they're still friends) and I think another future roommate used to have feelings for her. What do I do? |
t3_3w0vm1 | Dogtraining | New owner of a 7 month old Pitbull, just want to run a thought by others | I'm 5 days in and totally hooked on keeping the little guy. So I've gotten quite serious about training. Had PTO to burn this week so he's been my main focus.
He's got what I assume are the usual issues. Biting, pulling, not dropping things, etc.
Had some success this evening and plan to keep the momentum going bright and early tomorrow but I want to hear any potential criticism before the behavior becomes standard.
Using a clicker I've taken the 'Benevolent God' approach. Ensuring I maintain Pack Leader authority but using treats liberally with all manner of behaviors that I want to reinforce.
Finally dropped the toy we were tugging at? Click and a treat. Got on your bed? Click and a treat. Walked for half a block without tugging or stopping? Click and treat.
In our time together today I've started to see behaviors that appeared frozen in his psyche, begin to drip and melt away.
My biggest complaint has been that on walks, after awhile of attempting to correct his tugging, he would begin going after my pant legs and the leash. It has been quite trying to have a session of walk training interrupted by him going into attack mode.
Currently, the only negative I can conjure up is overeating. Anyone more experienced have a thought? | My hope would be that in training and walks if he is *constantly* rewarded with treats for the good behavior that he'll simply lose interest in the bad behavior. Is this logic sound? |
t3_2jg8or | tifu | TIFU Farewell everlasting happiness | I live on the second floor of a block of units, only access to my unit is by a set of stairs adjacent to the carpark.
There's a smoking hot girl, I'm pretty much in love with, living in the unit next to me. But of course she doesn't know me from a bar of soap.
I do shift work and ride a motorbike to and from work.
This morning, after a long night I park my bike and don't take off my helmet. An airy surge fills my stomach and I let out two massive farts that could of rivaled any large horn beset upon a mountain top in the Swiss Alps. The relief is instantaneous and well worth the effort. I then look up the stairs to see the live of my life standing two feet in front of me, looking at me with beautiful brown eyes, like I just curb-stomped a kitten. I can't manage a witty remark let alone any words from the English language and I run past her to the sanctuary of my front door. Farewell everlasting happiness. | didn't take off my motorbike helmet, let out two massive farts. Girl of my dreams standing on the stairs right in front of me. |
t3_2k61ox | relationships | Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [26 F] of 3 years, she has started smoking again | When my GF and I first met, she was a smoker. About six months in, she quit, in part because she'd always wanted to and in part because I told her how it was sometime disgusting to kiss her after she'd had a cigarette. She never smoked a lot, maybe a smoke after work or two, at the most five when we were drinking and she was out with friends, but she never ever hit a pack a week and still hasn't.
We moved into her two bedroom apartment last November, and it's been great in general. The biggest issue is that she accepted an incredibly well-paying, very stressful job. She's become the higher income, and I'm comfortable with that mostly. However, she has now begun smoking again, and now indoors. She smokes a cig about three times a week now, in our living room, though it is always by the window with a fan. Even so, the smell lingers.
I have asked her to stop and she says that she is super stressed by her job.. I feel like this is pretty valid. She works probably 60 hour weeks, maybe, which I feel isn't that insane, but it's worse than what I deal with. She also takes work calls, texts, and emails off the job and has to respond to them pretty quickly. I do know she has burst out crying once or twice to me when talking about her job, so I know she's seriously not in a great place, stress-wise.
That said, I worry about her health and our future. I wanted to live with a woman who was smoke free and want my living room to be a non-smoking area. We live on the fifth floor of a walk-up, so I can understnd why she is reluctant to go down, but it still is an option to me, but I don't want to offend her. | My gf has started smoking again, in doors, and it's annoying. Can I get her to stop or convince her to smoke outdoors? |
t3_1dgj7f | relationship_advice | {25/f} missing old boyfriend {25/m} like crazy. Should I try to get in touch? | Okay it's kinda a long ass story, so I'll try to be brief. I met ex boyfriend at The Boot, a bar in downtown Shreveport, in May of 2011. I was just diagnosed as bipolar a month earlier and have been spotty with my medications which made our 9 month relationship kinda rocky. This is completely and utterly of my own doing and old boyfriend thinks I'm a crazy bitch. And even though I am in another state I can't keep my mind off of him. The way he laughed, the time I blew his mind when I knew something about football, just basically all the good times we had. I dream about him constantly, and I can't come up with the courage to try to get a hold of him. I've tried to find him once, but chickened out on reaching out. I have changed and hope for another shot. What are some ways I can find him on the cheap and how can I prove I'm a changed woman? | I miss my ex boyfriend who thinks I'm crazy. How do I find him and how to prove to him I'm not crazy? |
t3_rpwji | Dogtraining | Dog Greeting Manners and Socializing? | I've got a bit of a conundrum. I'm trying to work at teaching my dog proper manners in greeting other dogs. I'm fine with working with my dog. I do my best to only allow my dog to move forward if the leash is loose and having my dog focus on me, rinse and repeat until a calm greeting. My pup's ultimate reward is meeting other dog's. It's other people and their dogs have 0 concept of this though and it has led to some dangerous situations.
An example I can think of is there's a huge beautiful Newf in town. He's about 200lbs. His owners walk him on a choke collar (can't change other people's useless ideals there) which has 0 effect on him. If my dog and him see each other the Newf will drag his owner into traffic and across the street just to say hello.
So my issue is staying consistent in my training. I can cross a street for most smaller dogs to stay consistent but with these larger dogs I have 0 consistency and give in for the other dog and its owner's safety.
There is a secondary issue of if I never let my pup greet these other dogs due to their lack of training my pup wouldn't be socialized. I've introduced my pup to everyone and everything possible thus far. How doe it effect socialization if I stop all greetings (aside from preventing the dangerous situations as exampled above) until I get the calm manners I'm looking for? | How do you cope with others that haven't trained their dogs while trying to train manners whilst maintaining socialization in your own dog? |