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t3_3884lu | relationships | Me (21F) wanting to surprise my SO (23M) with a threesome-any words of wisdom? | I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months and things with him are mostly wonderful! We have a lot of (great) sex, and we're both very into trying new things together. I know he's had threesomes before, and it's something he's really interested in doing again.
Coincidentally, I also get off on the idea of introducing someone else into the bedroom, though I've never done it.
I do have some reservations, and have told him such. I don't want this to ruin regular sex for him, I don't want it to be something we do every week or even every month. I certainly don't want him to have any contact whatsoever with the other person outside of the event in the bedroom. He knows all of this and is in agreement and assures me that in the past, it hasn't effected his sex life with his partner day to day. He also said the thought of watching me with someone else (female) is more appealing than actually doing anything himself (though I wouldn't make that a requirement).
He currently does not know how strongly I am considering the idea (it comes up once in a blue moon and yesterday he said he doesn't expect it to happen with me given some statements I made at the beginning of our relationship)... but the thing is, prior to that statement, I'd been considering setting up a threesome for him for his birthday (complete with Slave Leia costumes hahah).
My plan would be to find someone neither of us know, and they would have no means to contact each other after this.
Now I'm just looking for anecdotal advice or thoughts from others who have tried it. So.... thoughts/opinions/stories...GO! | 21f wants to surprise 23m with a threesome for his birthday (with Slave Leia costumes). Have set up some ground rules, now just looking for personal experiences and advice. |
t3_2e6umb | relationships | Is this fair | Three bedroom house:
Three people: myself [F31], the kid 2.5[f], the boyfriend[M39]. We've been dating over a year.
The kid and I moved into my boyfriend's place. Rent is $1648. The kid and I share one bedroom (the master) and pay $800 a month. My boyfriend pays the remaining $848 and occupies the other two bedrooms. He also pays the utilities.
My boyfriend never cleans. He doesn't buy groceries. I do both of those things and cook him breakfast every morning and sometimes dinner.
The child is moving out really soon. When she does, would it be fair to ask my boyfriend to start paying 2/3 of the rent? I will only occupy 1/3 which will be my bedroom. I will still continue to purchase groceries and cook for his ass as usual. Am I being unfair to ask such a thing? Since he doesn't pay for shit in the house. | My boyfriend doesn't help out around the 3bd house, we have separate bedrooms. Should I get reduced rent since he has two rooms and never buys food or clean? |
t3_u30fb | AskReddit | What do you do when customer service just won't help! | I just had an awful experience with LivingSocial customer service. Here's the situation - We have a large group that wants to purchase an event together and it sells out half way through. There is no indication on the website of how many spots are left, we clearly picked the wrong day. There are multiple days though for the event so I called and simply asked if we can just transfer the people from one day to the next. She says - Nope. Why? It's in the fine print. IN THE FINE PRINT! That's your answer! There is such an obvious solution and an easy fix, why can't you help! I ask for the manager. She says - It's in the fine print....We have 10 more people that want to buy your product! Help us out! All she says is I wish I could. I say can we at least refund it and all buy again on a different day? Well there is a 24 hr return policy and a few of my friends are already over the 24 hrs so no go. So half my friends are stuck going now and the other half of us are so turned off we don't even want to go. | Isn't it better for your company to make an exception if its an easy fix, satisfies the customers needs and gets you more sales? |
t3_1k52jy | relationships | My (20M) GF (23F) is madly in love with me but practically smothers me. Then I feel guilty for suggesting other things. | So my SO of one year is crazy in love with me, and I love her too, but she is obsessed with what you'd call "teen love" stuff. And its starting to make me dread her coming home. I work early so I'm home first, and once she gets home she eats and/or studies for an hour. Then all eyes are on me. She wants to just lay down and cuddle, or make out, or cuddle and watch a movie, etc.
Don't get me wrong I love doing it but its gotten to the point where I feel like I have to get everything done for the day before she gets home (2-3 hours) otherwise I'll have to pass on cuddling then she mopes and gets upset.
I don't know what to do to talk to her about it or if I should let it go or what. The relationship as a while has a lot going on but this is just the primary thing. | My SO constantly wants to cuddle/make out/ watch movies from when she's home till bed. And I feel guilty when I don't cause she mopes. |
t3_oiv5f | relationship_advice | Can't get over a stupid small thing my boyfriend said. Would appreciate it being put in perspective. | We are both 26 and we've been together for about a year and a half. This is gonna contain spoilers, and yes I realize how trivial this already sounds considering it involves movie spoilers.
We watched Girl With the Dragon Tattoo the other day, and last night he said something along the lines of, "I'm not saying she deserved to be raped but Rooney Mara was kind of a whore. She didn't have to suck that guy's dick" (referring to the character's guardian, who demanded a blowjob). This unnerved me because he is very intelligent and has seen the Swedish version, too, so I don't think he just misinterpreted the scene.
I disagreed and told him why, to which he responded "I guess." When I told him it bothered me that he thought that, he apologized and said he had just misworded things. I think normally I would just brush it off as miscommunication but this isn't the first time he's said weirdly judgmental things before, especially relating to girls/sex. That, and he seemed to become apologetic when he probably thought there was an impending fight, not when I told him all the reasons I thought it was not someone's fault if a person of authority coerces him/her into sex in exchange for something he/she needs to live or function.
We've had divergent opinions on a number of things and even if we argued heatedly about them at the time, it's never truly bothered me knowing that he has different opinions on certain things like politics, life, etc; it's definitely never made me feel so uncomfortable or made me feel bothered so long after the fact. He is an amazing person and boyfriend and I think I might just be somewhat paranoid because of past experiences I've had with people who have expressed similar sentiments, so if you can offer a reality check I would appreciate it greatly. | my bf called a fictional character a whore for blowing her guardian, it makes me feel weird even though I know it's pretty insignificant |
t3_cokrz | AskReddit | My cat is slowly dying. Should I help him die? | I'm 31 and I've had this cat since my high school days, when I got him as a feral adult. He's got to be 15 or 16 years old; I can't be sure, since I got him when he was an adult and feral cat.
He's always been an outdoor cat, and for the last 2 weeks he's been going outside in the morning and sleeping, than coming in at night. It got to the point a few days ago where I was carrying him outside in the morning and inside as night approached.
Now, he is inside (so no wild animal will eat him). He has 3 different beds side by side. He has water, milk, dry food and wet food next to him, as well as me going to visit him every two hours to spoon feed him. His litter box is right next to the beds, and it is clean. He has fresh catnip from the graden a few cat paces away.
Yet, he does not move. Sometime when I am not looking he does poop, and he does eat a little bit.
I would put him down, but I believe he deserves more than a stressful shoving into a cage, than a stressful car ride, than weird people touching him. I also believe that animals "know" how to die to a degree.
I respect that an animal will find a fern or branch or hiding spot to go lie down in, and then die. That is what they do and ggood on them.
Now my cat is in my basement, which is furnished and where he spent last winter. He barely moves and will dies oon. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in the next hour, maybe he died while I post.
He seems to be in no pain (if he were in pain I would take him to be put down).
Should I kill him? I own no gun, but I was thinking I could take him outside where he likes, then just kill him in in the most humane way possible. Quick, painless - much better than a car ride to the vet. | Should I personally kill my cat, or should I put him through the stress of a cat carrier, strange hands and a syringe, or should I just let him die? |
t3_327tpl | relationships | I (F21)have discovered some shitty information on my friends (F21) boyfriend (M22) | Basically I have known this girl we'll call Mia since school and while we aren't overly close we are still friends. About 2 years ago she started dating one of my boyfriends close friends who we'll call Ben.
Through my boyfriend I have found out that Ben has cheated on Mia four times with four different people. The last time it happened I seen Ben openly flirting with the girl but that was all I saw the rest I heard from my boyfriend after Ben told his friends what had happened.
My question is do I tell Mia? She doesn't deserve this (not that anyone does) and I know I'd want to know but there's no way to know if she would. And I don't have any proof to show her so I don't know what to do. Also my boyfriend would kill me for telling her as I only know because he told me what Ben had said and showed me his messages bragging about cheating, but I don't want my boyfriend to hate me and not trust me. | friends boyfriend is cheating, only know through my boyfriend telling me. Do I tell the girl and risk my boyfriends trust or just leave it? |
t3_23u8nk | relationships | [Relationship] I (17/M) am confused on if I want to break up with my girlfriend (17/F) | So, my girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 months. We're both in high school, but we go to different schools. We see each other about twice a month, which is weird considering were not far from each other, we're both just really busy.
Lately, I've been missing the single life. I'm moving to a different state for college in August and I kind of just want to have fun and fuck around (literally and metaphorically) and not have to worry about a girlfriend for the last couple months I'm here.
But, at the same time, thinking about breaking up with her kills me. Not having her around and not being able to talk to her or anything like that, it makes me really sad just thinking about it.
I mean, when and if we see each other, it's amazing. No sex, but we're still intimate and I think we communicate better than a lot of other couples especially for high school relationships.
But as soon as she leaves, I want so badly to talk to other girls. To do what I want. To not have to talk to her. /r/relationships, I'm really confused.
Is this just hormones? Is it because I don't see her enough? | I want to break up with my girlfriend but at the same time I don't. Things are great when we're together, but I miss the single life so badly when we're apart. |
t3_411d8h | tifu | TIFU by letting my friends near a lemon tree | Ok, this didn't happen today, but a couple of weekends ago. So I invited all my friends over for a surprise birthday for my older brother. Things got kinda hot because there was about 10-11 of us and it's kind of a small house. So we all pour out into the backyard, and my friends find the lemon tree. Because I live in northern California, everything blooms in the winter. So the lemon tree is heavy with lemons, and my friends want to see if cars will run them over. They throw a bunch of lemons over the backyard wall, then run onto the street to get a better aim. (We still have too many lemons, so I don't care.) So they start chucking them all over the street and hiding behind some bushes to watch them get run over. (I have weird friends.) So one of them accidentally hits a car, and they all run inside cackling like hyenas. We all watch from the window as the guy who's car we hit slowly pulls up into my small housing complex. We quickly lock the door, close the curtains and turn off the lights so it looks like no one is home. He knocks and rings the doorbell for about 5 minutes, then walks away. Whoops! | My friends found my lemon tree, started chucking lemons on street to watch them get run over, hit a car and almost got caught. |
t3_14uw7h | AskReddit | Left number on girl from classes car and now texting. | I left my number on a girl from class's car. We talked everyday and flirt and I asked her out when we were talking. I asked if she wanted to go out sometime and she said yes. I asked for this weekend and she gave a legitimate reason for being busy. How long should I wait and what should I say/do when making a second attempt? I am thinking I will call and ask her to something casual. There is a pro basketball game this next week that she is a fan of one team and I am a fan of the other. Is that too big of a first date? Just looking for a little advice so I'll take what I can get. | How long should I wait to ask a girl out that said yes to hanging out but had immediate plans for first attempt? |
t3_3htxak | relationships | I [20 M] had sex with my third cousin [16 F] over summer. We both want a relationship when she graduates in a few months. | My third cousin was visiting my family for the summer because of troubles at home. I'd never met her before this, regardless of her being a distant relative. I'd been staying at the place where she was staying for the summer so we spent a ton of time together.
During the last month of summer we started dating because we were both interested in eachother. We ended up having sex a week before she left. I was a virgin, she was not. (16 is legal in both of the states she lives in) we had a great time and spent the last week cuddling and talking before she went back home.
We both still talk to each other, a few weeks later, on the phone. We plan on meeting again when she turns 17 and graduates. She's currently not in public school anymore and is really mature for her age. (More mature then me) I read everywhere that 16 is too young for someone my age because of the differences in highschool/college students. I don't know if I'm "taking advantage of her" when I didn't pressure her into anything and we mutually agreed to everything. She takes all of her classes online and is working on getting a job so I don't feel she is mentally 16.
I really like her and we have a great time together, but I fear for what her family would think if they knew about what was happening. I guess I'm just looking for opinions on the relationship and if it is healthy or am I somehow actually taking advantage of her. | My third cousin [16] and I [20] hit it off over summer and plan on dating in a few months when she graduates at 17. Am I taking advantage of her without knowing it? |
t3_3j9qxk | relationships | My [28, M] GF's [22,F] best friend's [21, F] BF [24, M] has been habitually cheating on her in front of me and my friends. | I met my girlfriend and her best friend on the same day about 2.5 years ago. My GF and I have been dating happily for about 2 years now. I introduced her best friend to an acquaintance of mine about a year ago. He has, since my meeting, shown his insecure and borderline-sociopath side more times than not, but never around his girlfriend. All four of us run in the same social circle. It is problematic and I honestly feel bad for the girl because she really loves him and is in constant denial that anything is array.
The other night he slept with some random girl at a party that a bunch of us were at, but neither his girlfriend or any of her friends were in attendance. He boasted and joked about it to a group of us guys the next morning, as if we're supposed to be impressed. This was not the first time this has happened.
My girlfriend already strongly dislikes him, she is a pretty good judge of character. I don't think it is my place to say anything to either my girlfriend or his partner. I don't want my girlfriend to end up on the shit end of the stick with her friend. I just feel bad for the girl. He isn't going to stop anytime soon. Any advice for somebody in this awkward situation? | My GF's bestfriend's BF cheats on her in front of me and my friends. Conflicted about how to handle it. |
t3_1fm2ht | relationship_advice | Asian Parents [mf/50], me [m/21] and Weed | I just graduated from undergrad and am living at home. I have always been a good student, and also just landed a job at a good company. However, my parents found my stash, and confronted me, saying I was going down the wrong path, that I would gateway into another drug, they would put a curfew on me, etc. I was completely honest about everything unfortunately, including my very frequent use.
I told them I could stop smoking in the house, but given my age and track record, I told them my use probably wouldn't stop. That was when they broke down, saying I was a different person, changed by weed, and that I had no respect, that they had lost sleep over my habit, etc.
Then my mom revealed reading love letters from my ex (who she hated, and endlessly encouraged me to dump). At this point I was furious that she would invade my privacy to that length, and left and spent the night at a friend's. I am back at the house now, and haven't said a word to them since.
There are several things I am trying to cope with emotionally. I am still furious my mom would invade my privacy like that. I am worried that if my parents don't accept me now, even given my great track record and great job, they will never accept me. I can lie to them and say I will never do it again, but frankly I am tired of the control my parents try to exert on me, and would rather be able to honestly talk about it. I am just lost on what to do. I don't know what to do, how to feel, how much responsibility I have in fixing this damage, etc. | Parents found weed. Think I'm off the deep end, even though I just graduated and got a great job. Mom admitted violating my privacy. Haven't spoken since. Lost on what to do. |
t3_273bpt | offmychest | (x-post from r/mentalhealth) I think i may be developing some form of OCD. | So recently ive started to realize that i may be over attached and obsessed with situations i go through.
Example: This weekend i went to a concert, and for the first time a girl started dancing with me. It was amazing and i got real into it and was having alot of fun. Eventually the girl drifted off and was dancing with another guy. Now i didnt know this girl, only danced with her for like an hour( it was like grind dancing not just like dancing around, she was like grabbing my hands and rubbing herself with them, sorry if im over descriptive with that, it helps to get all the info out), and i realize that i would more then likely never see this girl again in my life(im from michigan and the concert was in toronto) but instantly after she left i kinda got depressed which felt weird at the time. Later that night she was all that i could think about and same with today, to the point where im actually having mini panic attacks and depression over the fact that ill never see her again.
This has happened with other situations alot lately where it seems i cant let things go or i over think and obsses over things for way to long that it starts to hurt me mentaly and emotionaly. Im starting to feel like im going insane because there is no reason i should feel this way over things like this. I was just wondering if this would be considered partial ocd or not and if anyone has any tips to help me get over stuff faster and let things go. With the above example i started to feel creepy cuz i was looking through instragram for hours trying to find pictures of her from the concert to try to find out who she was. I finnaly did find out but i thankfully was able to keep myself from adding her on facebook or messaging her. Like i said above this has just started happening recently and its starting to worry me about my mental state. Any sort of insight would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry for wall of text | I cant seem to let things go and i over think/obsess over situations to the point where i knew a girl for an hour or 2 this weekend and am now depressed that ill never see her again. Any advice? |
t3_2jmvmn | relationships | Why don't I [20 F] love the perfect guy [24 M]? | Hey everyone. I am a college student in the USA. I have never been in a relationship before, but I have turned down a few guys. One of them is this guy, who I will henceforth refer to as Jack.
Jack is a wonderful person. He is sincere, attractive, funny, sweet, kind, uncomplicated, and affectionate. He says he loves me and would do anything for me, and he constantly reminds me of this. But I don't feel anything for him. Sometimes I'm even downright annoyed or even bored with him. I don't know why. He is the kind of guy that I fantasize about.
Jack has been chasing me for nearly 3 years now, and I can't help but feel that I'm doing something wrong by not being with him. He never holds it against me or anything; I just feel like I'm being stupid.
I really want to give Jack a chance, but I'm really nervous and scared that I will end up selfishly hurting him. | Has anyone here experienced not being attracted to a "perfect" guy/gal who loves you? What did you do and why? |
t3_1m7f1n | loseit | A short story and a thank you for r/loseit | I have a story, but more importantly I am making the post to thank you - the good people of r/loseit for helping me without even knowing it. I've been lurking here a while and decided I should speak up!
A couple of months ago I split up with my girlfriend of 6 years. I was overweight (for the first time ever) mainly from eating poorly and having a desk job for the first time after university. I weighed around 96kg at my heaviest (I'm 183cm tall). When it suddenly ended (not my choice by the way, it was a little bit of a shock) I became really depressed - I hated my job, I had nowhere to live permanently and was alone for the first time in a while.
The doctor and nurse both offered me anti-depressants - I refused, I wanted to overcome my own problems not hideaway from them. It was around this time I decided to get back into shape and I found r/loseit. You people are inspiring, when I see what some people here have achieved it made me realise there was no reason I couldn't sort my own life out. So I did. I spoke to my manager and got my job role changed, I moved back to my home town and see friends regularly again and I have my confidence back. All of this was started by getting back into the exercise regime. I can now swim 2.5km in 55 mins; cycle with an average speed of 25-26km/hr and run 10km in under an hour.
But I'm not finished, I have a plan - I want to complete a triathlon when the season restarts in March to raise money for charities that work on young peoples mental health problems (I'm in the UK suggested are welcomed). By the end of triathlon season (next September) I will complete an iron man triathlon once again for charity.
I will return when I have completed both of these to thank you again. I would not be in this position without your inspiration! | I was overweight got depressed after splitting up with GF; getting into shape and raising money for charity by completing triathlon/iron man races. Inspired by r/loseit. |
t3_21gz9x | relationships | I [22 M] have been with my girlfriend [23 F] for almost 3 years, but I'm not sure I'm ready to decide to base my life around this particular relationship.... | I'll [22M] be graduating from college in just a few weeks, and am still trying to work out what kind of career I want and what I want out of life in general. Making this more difficult is my long-term relationship with my [23 F] girlfriend, who graduated last year and is about to start a new job in a city far from my hometown that I have no ties to. The basic issue right now is that I don't know if it would be the right decision for me to prioritize living with/near her over other career possibilities.
But that's not the biggest issue. I feel like choosing to prioritize being near her over other things would be, essentially, indicating that I think she's "the one" and...I'm just not sure that's true right now. I think I love her, but I'm also afraid that my understand of "love" is still childish and inexperienced.
This past year I've been pretty much fine without having her around (though we still talk via online messaging and stuff, of course), and as if that wasn't enough, I'm starting to have feelings for someone else a year younger than me.
Basically, I feel like I am having to make extremely long-term, adult relationship decisions right now, and I just don't know how to do it. | Major life choices regarding my relationship coming up as I prepare to graduate from college, and I don't know what to do about them. |
t3_1cb2sy | relationships | I [25/F] have never been more startlingly happy with someone [24/M], so why did we have such an awful day?! | My boyfriend and I have had to drive for nearly ten hours today, so I'd rather summarize what happened for all our sakes.
* boyfriend recently received a promotion to manager of one of his company's other locations (he's great at his job)
* appointment to sign lease on gorgeous apartment which I trusted him to choose without me (and he chose perfectly, knew he probably would given our shared tastes)
* both gladly quitting the green, smoked a celebratory joint for a week's worth of "sobriety"^lol before leaving this morning at 4:30AM
* woke up in good spirits as per our usual rapport, had phenomenal sex prior to washing up (in fact, had more phenomenal sex after everything was said and done before bed)
* stupidly went off on each other about the heat settings in the car
* managed to adjust the mood soon after, I slept in the back seat until 2:00PM or so
* smoked our second joint after eating lunch, I accidentally burned the middle of the joint, WAS successfully smoking the very end and leaving him the other half of the joint, flicked what I thought was ash, actually cherry that--by some stroke of *demonic* luck--melts a portion of plastic on (his company's rental car's) dash board
* he gets angry, we toss a few (unnecessary) jabs which is very uncharacteristic of us
I'm sure that the brunt of advice will suggest the stress of moving to a new city as a young couple, but prior to this day, we haven't even been feeling stressed about it. We live in a very shit city; there is no reason for us to feel any kind of anxiety, I'd think. In return, enjoy a picture of the little Corgi girl we'll soon be [adopting:]( | my lovely boyfriend and I should have enjoyed our road trip to sign the lease on our new apartment, but it was ruined by some shit mood of mystery origin |
t3_el641 | AskReddit | Help me out: what is the best way for payback on a rude bar/restaurant and/or its manager ? | I went into a bar that I had frequented previously. To be fair, I was more than a bit tipsy and a probably pain when I was. This was also months ago. Well, he remembered me. I walk in and he see's me. I'm three steps in, and from across the room he raises his voice, just shy of shouting, "no, you're not being here; just turn around and walk out."
Now, I recognize his right to serve/not serve whom he chooses. I also recognize that I (obviously) pissed him off last time I was there. That being said, did he have to tell me from across the room with a raised and obviously pissed voice? Well, even though I can understand the refusal, the insulting, public manner he used was not really forgivable. Obviously, I'm not going back, but I'd love to send some payback his way.
Or should I just let a sleeping dog lie? | Angry, possibly justified, bar manager insultingly and publicly refuses me service using a raised voice from across the room just as I walk in and I want to serve up some payback. |
t3_4v15di | relationships | Me [24M] with my friend [23F] started chatting for the first time over mutual interest in a game, trying to become better friends but avoid being 'that guy' | Hey guys, so I met a girl about a year ago through mutual friends (who neither of us talk to anymore) though we never really spoke or hung out as she lives around 2 hours away, I had her on facebook etc, it turns out though that we both had an interest in the same multiplayer game so I hit her up recently to see if she wanted to play a few rounds of it and we started doing that.
Turns out shes actually a lot of fun to chat to and we get along really well, so I want to avoid being known as 'that guy that likes games' but because we have never really spoken before or have that much in common I find it hard to come up with something to start a conversation with other than "Hey are you free later?" though anytime I do and work schedules line up we usually end up making time to play together.
Usually I tend to meet new people/friends through mutual friends, work or clubs, so trying to get to know and become friendly with someone I vaguely know is new territory
Any advice on how to branch out and try and keep things rolling without falling into the trap of seeming like a weirdo or am I just overthinking things? | Starting talk to someone I get along with though we don't have much in common, looking to avoid being known as 'that guy that likes games' |
t3_idsz8 | AskReddit | Reddit, what would be the appropriate payback. | My wife and I are in the process of selling our condo and buying a house. Everything has been going really well with the purchase of the house, but the lady buying our condo have been trying to scam us for every dime she can. First, she asked for quite a bit of money off of our price, and she wants money towards closing costs (this I know is totally valid in this economy). Then she has an inspection on the condo and expects us to drop the price by 100% of the cost to repair the "old" furnace and AC, both of which still work fine. She's also done a couple of other things where she has tried to bleed us for even more money.
We really want to sell, and as much of a battle as this has been, we're forced to comply with a lot of shit. Now we want to do something really passive-aggressive to make us feel better. What does Reddit suggest? | Selfish bitch wants every last dime off the price of our condo, and we want payback. What should we do? |
t3_ugv8m | tifu | TIFU only made it 2 minutes into my road trip. | I got a call from my best friends who live out of state saying they were coming back to our hometown, they invited me to come see them. So I seized the opportunity to reunite with them, I got my shit together and left my house. I stopped at the gas station a half mile away and payed for my gas, filled up the car, and drove off. A mile down the road I realized my wallet wasn't in my pocket. So I whipped a u-turn hauled ass back and interrogated every damned person in the gas station about my wallet. It's now gone forever, drivers license, insurance card, credit card, family pictures, and some cash. | Made it 2 minutes into my road trip to see my lifelong best friends, lost my wallet, turned right back around and went home. |
t3_2o39r4 | relationships | I [26 M] have been seeing [23 F] girl. Says she really likes me, but barely texts. Haven't heard from her since Saturday. | I met her online and we've hung out three times so far. Things seem great when we hang out. She's very nice and she's responded with the same when I've told her that I really like her. We've kissed, too.
It's just tough to keep any feeling towards her when I barely hear from her otherwise. I've gotten one text every 1-2 days from her. Every time I hear from her, like when she asked how my weekend was going, I think that we might be able to talk a little bit, but that was it. **She does say she's terrible at keeping her phone around, but is it really so hard to send me a text or respond on Facebook?**
Not to seem like I'm keeping an eye on her, but she did just hang out with a friend (a girl) this last weekend (I saw her tagged on Facebook). She also hasn't been on the dating site since we hung out over a week ago. Things seem okay, but I can't tell when I don't talk to her.
I'm just close to letting her go, but I really like her. I did send a longer message over Facebook telling her how I feel. She read it yesterday, but hasn't responded. | Girl says she really likes me, but I barely her from her when we're not hanging out. I really don't think she's talking to someone else, either. |
t3_12inzx | AskReddit | I'm starting to hate my friends. Reddit, is there any moral justification for thinking you're better than someone else, or is it just pure arrogance? | I'm using a throwaway here, as I know deep down I'm being a cunt. However, on the off chance that I'm wrong, I'm simply wondering if there is ever a scenario where you can say that you're a better human being than someone else.
I've known some of my friends for quite a few years, and I'm simply coming to realise I don't agree with the way in which they live their lives, and that they don't enrich my life in any way at all.
I've started feeling "better than them", but I'm having moral dilemmas as to whether that's just me being a straight up elitist asshole. | i'm sick of my friends, am i ever allowed to think to my self, yet alone say that i'm better than another human being. |
t3_28v7ve | Advice | Life/Travel/Work Advice | Hi there.
So to explain my situation: I'm 24 and have lived at home since graduating and have a job at a top football team. It is by no means my ideal job and although its provided me with great experience I don't find it challenging anymore and feel like I've learnt all I can.
The salary isn't great but I've managed to pay off my overdraft and save about £4k. Most of my friends have moved away to other places and I think the time is coming to move somewhere else, travel and become more independent.
I thought I'd ask people here who may have been/are in similar positions. Ideally I look at now as the perfect time to travel and see the world, but my parents have the view that you shouldn't really leave a secure job until you have something else in place. Then again, they grew up in a different generation so I'm not sure they see things from my perspective.
I understand their view but at the same time I don't want this time to pass me by, as before I know it I could have a home, a mortgage, a wife and kids (!) and everything will be even harder by that point.
However, the world just seems so big and I have no idea at all where to start. I know Spanish and conversational Mandarin from my Uni degree and spent a year in China and Spain so I am used to travelling abroad, although I have always been with other friends during these times. There are so many places I'd like to go such as the US, Tokyo, Russia but have no plan in sight.
I've considered teaching abroad, although I'm not massively keen, unless it was the only option to travel. I quite like marketing, and I'd like to use my languages somehow. I've read a lot of posts about things people wished they had done at my age and a lot of them said 'travel while you were still free', although it is scary when I realise I may have to do this on my own seeing as most of my friends are settled in their various placements.
Sorry for the long winded post, just wanted to get everything down. What advice would you give me? I'll be sure to read every response.
Thanks for reading!! | Have £4k saved up and looking for a new job/adventure outside UK. Speak English, Spanish and Mandarin. Want to see the world. Help. |
t3_2qnqwg | relationships | A terrible love triangle | Reddit, I am need of some serious help here. Using a throw away for obvious reasons. I (31M) am entirely having a break down when it comes to romantic relations.
Back story here, I dated a girl (now 29) many years ago, eight to be exact. We dated for about a year. I loved her, and at the time she was the one I thought I would marry. We had a terrible break up due to her infidelity and the fact that we were both in the party scene and just all around bad people.
About 6 months ago my ex from years ago came back into my life. She sent me a text basically to start a conversation so she could apologize for everything she did years ago. We talked a lot of things out and decided because we were both different people than years ago we could try and be friends. My current SO(29) of two years was supportive, but a bit hesitant. Well she was right to be. Now, six months later I have woke up and realized that I am terribly in love with my ex from years ago. I want to be with her and no one else. Here is the problem.... I still have a significant other, and so does she. The ex actually isnt even interested in seeing me that way again. She is in love with her SO and they have plans to marry. | I want my ex, my SO wants me, and my ex wants her SO. How have I allowed it to happen, and how do I undo all of it? |
t3_1hny7e | relationships | How can I (18F) get over my boyfriend (17F) kissing someone else while we were broken up? [Relationships] | * | My boyfriend kissed one of my best friends while we were broken up and it affects my perception of him still. How can I get over it? |
t3_150zrh | relationship_advice | 23/m that fell in love with a girl in five minutes. Don't know what to do. | I was on a my first leg of three flights yesterday from NYC to DC. As I walk up to my row, I see an indescribably gorgeous girl sitting in the isle. She looks Dallas Bryce Howard with blonde hair. I was floored. As everyone else is boarding, (I was in the window seat) I managed to ask her if she was an actress. She laughed and said no and we started talking. About five minutes later a large woman sat down between us, effectively halting our conversation but I got her first name.
Throughout the flight I just couldn't stop thinking about her. What she does, her voice, just every little part about her seemed like a dream. I was convinced to at least give her my number on the back of my ticket and tell her how beautiful I thought she was. I was going to tell her (even though I live in NY and she in DC) that I just wanted one date. One dinner; one chance. Unfortunately the lady between us took too long getting off the plane and she vanished after I got off the flight.
I know that this probably seems weird, but I've never had such a strong reaction to talking to somebody in my entire life. I really don't believe in love at first sight, but I have no other way to describe what I felt in such a short amount of time. Even finding this girl is probably impossible. All i know is her first name (not even how it's spelled) and a rough idea of what she does. Even if I do, how am I supposed to contact her? "Hey, remember that guy that you talked to on that one plane?" I just don't know how I'd be able to do anything. Any advice or reassuring words? | Fell in love with the most gorgeous woman in five minutes on a plane. I can't stop thinking about her and want to have one shot at taking her on a date. |
t3_1kn83d | relationships | Should I [21m] pursue this relationship with my partner [36m]? | Quick Backstory: Met this guy at Gay Days in DisneyWorld at the beginning of June. Hit it off very well and had an awesome weekend. We decided it was a "date" and wanted to pursue things. Overall, the guy was awesome. The only issue is I'm almost done with college and live in Tennessee, and he lives in Chicago. I decided that I may re-locate after I receive my Bachelor's, and for us to fly back and forth to get to know each other better if that was okay.
The twist? His ex boyfriend of 5 years still lived with him. I explained my concern and he explained the situation. They had been split for over a year, but his ex [23m] was still living with him while trying to find a place. I still found it absolutely bizarre, but sooner than later his ex did move out (20 minutes away).
My partner came to stay at my place for a month, and my friends and family loved him. However, red flags began to rise. He constantly mentioned his ex with every situation, saying "when you date someone for 5 years you can't get them out of your head." I understood that, and told him that I'd be more than happy to listen to what he has to say. It quickly became a problem as he constantly mentioned his ex.
When he went back to Chicago him and his ex still "hung out." He told me they went and watched movies together, had dinner, and chilled around the house. I'm not the jealous type, but this still raised more red flags in my head.
Yesterday my partner said that his ex kissed him on the lips. He laughed about it and pretended it was no big deal. His words were "I pulled away after he kissed me, but I did remember what an awesome kisser he was."
It sucks because this guy rocks, but I feel I'm being played for a fool. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting or are those some definite red flags? | Partner's ex keeps weaseling himself into my partner's life. Partner thinks it okay to keep contact with him, and it's making me feel uncomfortable. |
t3_d2hys | AskReddit | Hey Reddit, is telling a girl "calm down, no one is going to rape you" make me an asshole? | So I was at a friends, and shes like did you lock the window? I said yeah, but why are you so paranoid, no one is going to climb through.
So shes like, well about a year ago this guy climbed through a window and raped this girl...
So I go "calm down no one is going to rape you..."
Her reaction, what are you calling me ugly? your an asshole.
I mean I can understand see where she is coming from, but from my limited understanding, most rapes are about power... anyways I thought that was something stupid to get angry at me for.
What do you think Reddit? I mean it was the wrong choice words yes, but to get mad and be insulted by it really? I mean yes there is a possibility of her getting raped by someone climbing through her window... but c'mon... really your going to get mad at me over this? | told a girl no one would rape her, got called an asshole, didn't mean it as a asshole comment. impact > intent? |
t3_z8560 | AskReddit | This'll probably get buried, nevertheless, redditors who've ended a long relationship, do you wish to know if your ex is genuinely happy now? | So I've been through some pretty rough times this year. I'm thriving for the last few months. I'm 23 and after ending a six year relationship for nearly a year and a half ago, I'm still learning to forgive, forget and let go of a huge anchor in my life (if this picks up I'd be glad to elaborate into my story). The thing is, I know I've got some pent up anger, but I try to deal with it as rational as possible, when I'm happy I'd just like to ask my ex if she's happy (she's with someone else for a year now). I have no intention of getting back together, I've haven't spoken or heard of her since march. Anyways, I'd really like to know if she is happy and thriving as I am sometimes, on the other hand I don't want to pop out of nowhere and mess her head up. I would love to hear from her she's happy, at the same time I feel it's better to just let her be and stay as total strangers.
Redditors, I'd appreciate some advice, and some experience in the matter. For most of the time I just want to stay away, on the other hand, I'd like to hear she's sincerely happy from her. I've grown to accept us parting ways, still It would be really comforting hearing from her she is happy. But Im reluctant to popping out of nowhere and bringing up the pain she's been through our breakup.
If you've come this far, thanks for reading. | genuinely want to know if ex-gf is happy, but not sure if asking might seem inappropriate or stir up bad feelings in her. |
t3_1m0bgf | offmychest | Are you crazy or am I paranoid? | You've got a great personality. And you're very attractive. But there are some things I'm not sure about, and I'm being cautious because I've dealt with some crazy and clingy women before.
You're sweet and cute and intelligent and I really enjoy that. Yet you've mentioned you have some anxiety and depression issues. I Know you're on meds for it, and that you're taking care of it, but I don't know how effective it is. I've learned that looks can be deceiving. Most of all, I don't know how your issues might spill over and become my problems. I have dated people that have let that happen, have made me the center of their universe, and I can't be that person.
I can't text constantly while I'm at work or school, it's disrespectful to my employers and it's a hindrance to my education. I can't take repeated calls at 2 AM where I'm told of nightmares and the taking of many different drugs in an effort to fall asleep. I can't take not being able to have a constructive argument that is critical of you or me or us because you'll take it too hard and harm yourself. I can't be the entire foundation your life is built around. But I'm willing to be a part of that.
Those things I listed are not things you've done. You don't seem like that kind of person, you respect my space so far. But I'm scared that you'll start to do those things, because I've dated that person before. I need to know you're not going to have a crisis every few days. | Been flirting with great girl, except some anxiety/depression issues have been brought up, giving me doubts because of past fucked up relationships. |
t3_4b5b0g | relationships | I [21 F] want to move forward into a relationship with date [22 M], but I am having problems doing that. | Hi, throwaway for a reason. I have this guy who I am dating but we are not official. I've dated him back in high school but it wasn't really a relationship. We barley hung out together and he would only walk me to class. I was only dating him for two months until I had to break up with him because my parents forced me to. I was only 14 years old then. I was to young in their eyes. I haven't spoken to him since then until he randomly got in contact with me in January.
Since that day, we have been spending time together, going on dates. I would like to note, that he was my only boyfriend since then. So I have been single for 6 long years. Valentines day comes and he finally asked me out. I told him no because I wanted to get to know him more and go on more dates. I don't know what happened. After that date, I was in my car driving home when suddenly I started crying. I think it was due to the fact that I knew I wouldn't have a normal intimate relationship with him due to what happened to me in childhood.
After that, I have decided to get some professional help. I'm still not in therapy since I'm on the wait list but I am in a support group that is helping me.
I have been texting him and trying to find some time to hang out. But now I'm questioning myself If i should continue this relationship or not. I do want him as my boyfriend but I'm thinking maybe its better to not be in a relationship for a while longer since I have my issues. We haven't even kissed yet and I feel really bad. We have been on 3 dates and we still haven't kissed.
I also have a really bad communication with him. There are days where I will not text him back or won't talk with him for days. I feel like If I end up dating him, I will still be acting like I'm single. He's a really nice guy. He doesn't do drugs, doesn't drink much. Has a really great personality. He hasn't even treated me wrong and He's a gentleman. What should I do? | I'm ready to be in a relationship, but the past is catching up to me. I'm questioning myself if I should move forward or not. |
t3_m3s2l | relationships | Fighting the temptation of cheating | I love my girlfriend and we (22F, 22M) have a mostly happy relationship, but the spark is completely gone. We've been together for almost 3 years, before then we were both players and slept about a bit. When we first got together our sex life was amazing. We did and tried everything, but now in the past year or so it's gone completely stale. It's once a fortnight at best, and no more than wham bam thank you ma'am. No foreplay, no anything except straight sex. When I make suggestions she laughs it off and says no, and gets annoyed or evasive when I bring up the subject of sex in conversation.
It's got to the point now where almost every girl I see I'm attracted to. I miss the excitement of meeting new girls, getting to know them, and the thrill of the chase.
This post isn't to say I'm *planning* on cheating. But I'd have liked this relationship to be forever, and I can't see that happening the way things are going.
Any tips on staying strong? Or getting the spark back? | Good relationship, miserable sex life. Desire to be with other girls growing as my sex life wanes. Girlfriend won't address the issue. |
t3_51ep70 | relationships | My (f/55) grown son (m/25) comes to my house to sleep during the day after nightshift, even though he has his own house. | My 25 year old son has a job which means he does 12 hour nightshifts 3-4 times a week, including weekends. After his nightshifts, he comes to my house an sleeps in the spare bedroom. He sleeps in my house because he says at his own house, it's too noisy.
In his own house, he has his partner, who is mostly home during weekdays as she only works weekends. They then have a one year old, then his partner has a 14 year old girl who - if it's the weekends or after school, always has at least 2 friends with her. It's the group of girls who are the noisiest. So the house is very noisy.
I don't have a problem with my son sleeping in my spare room, but I think as his mother I should try and encourage him to have a better arrangement set up in his own home so he can sleep there, for his sake. For example, if the 14 year old does have friends over, she could only have them downstairs, and they'd not be allowed upstairs when my son is sleeping. My son's partner says since the 14 year old's bedroom is upstairs she doesnt think she could tell her daughter and her friends they couldnt come upstairs. | Am I wrong to think it's a bit unconventional that my son sleeps at my house? Or since I don't mind, should I just put up with it and help him out? |
t3_1xnqbp | AskReddit | My gf's boss sexually harassed me and now im not sure what to do? | My Gf and i were exchanging sexual texts as well as pictures and other deeply personal things.
I received a very sexual message that seemed "off" and wrote "?"
this was the response i got:
"hey fobygrassman, this is {gf's coworker}, {gf's boss} got a hold of {gfs} phone and decided to fuck with you lol she knows nothing about it just so you know...he made it all up lol"
i wrote back: "np tell him i'll forward this to human resources and to expect a call from them explaining why he is going through his employee's personal belongings. Also i hope he has friends in the labor dpt. because i know i do" | Essentially, my gf's boss broke into her cell phone (easy to guess password) and texted me something sexual that pertained to something me and my gf were actually talking about |
t3_rbc5h | legaladvice | ISP threatened to cancel service due to copyright infringement, possible subpoena - I have some questions | I live with my parents and my Dad got a call from our ISP. They know I downloaded a couple movies and Bioshock recently. Sometimes I get lazy and use The Pirate Bay; what can I say? This morning, our Internet was temporarily cut off and they threatened that we could be subpoenaed within 3 years. I don't know if this means that the ISP would be compelled to provide information that identifies us, or if this mean that we would be compelled to provide evidence of illegal, copyrighted materials in our household.
Apparently, this was our second offense - the first warning was sent to my Dad's email but he thought it was junk mail. My Dad was very cooperative on the phone with them and I think he gave the impression that his kids are just fucking around on the Internet and it won't happen again.
**Here are my questions:** At this point, should I erase any evidence of illegal activities on my laptop? I really don't want to have to do this, because most of my music is pirated. I'd rather just stop downloading shit that's illegal. It's all on my laptop, not my parent's desktop. Besides, does it even matter if I get rid of this evidence? Doesn't the ISP retain proof that illegal information has been accessed? What are the chances my shit will be subpoenaed even if there is no third offense?
At least when it comes to CP, I know that you don't necessarily have to have it on your computer or even show evidence that it was on your computer at one point. If it can be shown in court that CP has been *accessed*, then you're still fucked. Is the same true for illegal movies and music? Speaking of CP, what if I may have possibly sometimes dabbled a bit on reddit jailbait and motherless.com? | ISP warned of subpoena within 3 years, especially if there is a third offense, but for now they are turning our Internet back on. Should I be worried? |
t3_2ajpra | relationships | How long before sex should occur in a relationship? | I've been seeing/talking to this girl for roughly a year; we knew each other well a year prior to that. I've casually brought up the idea of sex a handful of times, and each time, he's rebutted that she's simply not ready yet. How much longer do I have to wait? Is it wrong to not want to continue the relationship if after a year, she's still not comfortable enough to have sex with me?
Personally, I feel that if you're not comfortable with the idea of engaging in intercourse, you're not really ready for a full blown, exclusive relationship. Sex isn't the deciding factor; don't get me wrong. But it's undoubtfully part of the relationship, no?
Help please.
M/22, F/21 | How long is too long without sex? Wants official, exclusive but unwilling to engage in sex -- lack of trust? |
t3_2qmcim | relationship_advice | Wife use to be sexual, doesn't allow me to have sex more than 2x a month, it's driving me crazy. | [33/m] My wife [31/f] has a low sex drive.
Ok so been married for almost 10 years. Got married very young and have changed a lot since that time. We used to be very sexually active. My wife and I met each other in our partying days. Since then we have both chilled out a lot except I put all that energy into other things and she hasn't. I am a very active person I enjoy being fit, dieting, working out and she is the exact opposite. I think living this lifestyle raises my natural testosterone levels causing me to have a high sex drive.
Because of this I find our levels of sexual desire to be completely off track. She never approaches me or tells me she wants sex, I have to chase or beg her usually and even then I get it only about once every two weeks, but i would like to have sex every couple of days. I think a lot of it comes from her not being happy with herself so I buy her things to wear lingerie that cover a lot of things on her body that make her uncomfortable. Which sometimes I can tell she likes and then other times she acts like it is the biggest hassle in the world. Ultimately I have come to the conclusion that she will never lose weight or live an active life style. Because of that I have realized I can't change her and trying is frustrating and pointless as it only leads to more fighting. I am just learning to deal with it and accept that, we're married and there's no law in marriage that says she has to weigh, or look a certain way.
I have been with her almost my entire adult life and would be happy staying married to her forever but this is a constant frustration and I wonder if temptation will get the best of me, and if it does, is it then my fault or was it cause and effect? I hate having to beg her to have sex with me, it gets me extremely aggravated and makes me feel very unwanted. | Wife use to be sexual, no longer allows me to have sex more than 2x a month, it's driving me crazy. |
t3_2iqcuy | tifu | TIFU By being nice enough to play with all the kids at a party | Not today, but 5 days ago. I was at a party and there were 6 kids (ages 2-6) there. 1 hour into the party, and the kids were starting to get restless and were doing marginal damage to the host's house.
I took it upon myself (along with the urging from my wife) to play a game with the kids, and initiated a kids catwalk competition. Out of the six kids, one of the girls Elle (not her real name), 6 years old, didn't participate and just kinda stood away in the corner. Didn't even wanna join in when I invited her in a few times. Her younger brother jumped straight in and played along without hesitation though.
Anyway, all was going well and kids were beginning to have fun when I decided to do an impromptu Charlie's Angel's pose for the three girls there. Snapped a pic, big smiles, good fun.
Elle came back shortly later and joined in when she saw the fun happening, so i thought all was well. Kids played, done deal, say thanks and good bye, go home.
Next day, I whatsapped the picture to the party group, and immediately the dad of Elle messaged me back personally asking why his daughter wasn't in the pic. At first I incredulously asked him if he was kidding, but the bugger was serious and asked that I should include his kid (the bugger's daughter wasn't even around to take the pic!), and that I should have included her in the game. He even asked me to view it from his perspective. | Got accused by bugger father that I didn't include his daughter in a party game when she didn't want to participate and refused to join in |
t3_2omdhy | relationships | My [24 M] (I'm 23 F, dating two years) brings up ex girlfriends and other passive aggressive issues when he's stressed | My boyfriend can be immature. I don't know why, but sometimes he seems to get passive aggressive when someone asks something of him that reminds him of maturity or adulthood or seems stupid to him.
A few weeks ago, I asked him to bring back a container I had left at his apartment so I could bake something to take to his sister's football viewing party. He forgot the container, and since I don't ask too much of him in that regard, I was pretty angry. He couldn't understand why I felt that way, and made fun of me for over reacting. He then proceeded to give me life updates on some of his ex girlfriends over the next week.
We're both looking for jobs (about to graduate, both of us), so we're stressed. We've been together a couple of years and this pattern has happened before. I just wish I knew if how to talk to him about it without feeling like I'm crazy. | how do I talk to my boyfriend about passive aggressive/disrespectful things he does without him turning the tables on me to make me sound/feel crazy? |
t3_1dbvyv | AskReddit | What's the most inappropriate ringtone you've ever heard at work or any equally awkward social gathering? | **Just got a new office job, want to make a lasting, first impression. Most up-voted reply will be loaded to my phone and reaction video / audio posted here...**
I'll be upfront for those who are undoubtably hoping to get me fired... It's highly unlikely I will be let go or even reprimanded, here's why;
Firstly because I was born and currently work in Australia (I could wear nothing but a pair of skid marked boxers to work with a pair of mismatched pluggers(thongs/sandles) as shoes and it would be perfectly acceptable...
As I am the only creative within our company I was primarily hired as their mobile graphic designer but really after reading my résumé they wanted me to to shake things up a bit and encourage the other staff to think outside the box / facilitate fruitful brainstorms and proactive idea generation etc...
Finaly, today was my first day... (And as I've always done before) I have only introduced myself as 'Pants' (a highschool nickname, can't remember the origin) to those met so far, directly report to or currently sit... This serves two purposes 1# It creates a liable and confusing persona mental word association when something goes wrong... No one ever gets mad if some guy called 'Pants' does something inappropriate?!
There is an all staff address on Thursday, where I'll be introduced. so you have until then to share
/ vote | most up voted reply will be applied to my phone and reactions recorded at my first all staff address (at new job) in 3 days... |
t3_19l8th | relationships | I (19f) cannot get my mother to like my boyfriend (m29) | I met a boy who is 10 years older than me. He is great, we have a lot in common and I am just so happy whenever I'm around him. We have been together for more then four months now, and I feel so lucky to have met him. He is a bartender and got out of a five year relationship before we started going out. My mother does not approve of our relationship. she says he is too old for me (she and my dad are 8 years apart), she hates the fact that he is not Jewish (I don't agree with her, I don't think you shouldn't date a person just because they were not bought up by the same religion as you, also I'm more atheist than Jewish), she thinks a 29 year old should be more then a bartender and so on. We have been agreeing over my relationship for months now, and it just gets worse and worse. So bad that I don't even want to talk to her because I just get depressed right after. It's not just the relationship we argue over its also my life choices. I got a beautiful tattoo that she completely denys I have. She hates that I'm not living in the same country as her (I was miserable there, and here I'm free and happy). I love her so much and I don't want to lose touch with her. I really want her to meet my boyfriend when she comes to visit, but I'm afraid she'll make a scene in front of him. I don't know what to do, I need help. how do I make her support my decisions? | moved to a different country from parents, met a guy who is 10 years older and not Jewish, my mom does not approve |
t3_4ikguy | jobs | I could possibly be laid off in the next two years, I don't want to screw my coworkers over though by jumping ship. Help! | I work for a local government agency that might be outsourced in the next couple years. I love my job, I love the people I work with, I have good benefits and I make a decent salary.
The problem is that the local government board has made a proposal to privatize my agency and with that would lay off all the employees where I work. I just bought a house and I have a toddler and I want more children in the near future, so despite me loving my job and the people in it, I'm very concerned with my future working here.
When I first heard rumblings of possible layoffs, in a panic, I sent out a bunch of applications and resumes. I don't want to seem like I'm jumping ship, and my leaving would cause more problems for my agency, but I'm also trying to look out for myself and my family because I'm the main breadwinner of my family.
I heard back from two applications I sent in and one of them would be a significant raise from what I currently make and I'd get to keep all my benefits because it's still within the same government organization. It's possible this privatization wouldn't occur at all and so we've been told by the director of my current job that it's business as usual until we have more information (which could be for another year).
I feel like a sitting duck and I'm afraid if I don't jump at the opportunity to interview for this other position, I may lose it and be unemployed altogether, but I also don't want to leave my coworkers and bosses in the lurch. It's also very possible that I don't get this other position at all, but I'd have to ask for time off to interview for it and I feel awkward about doing that. Should I interview? How do I bring it up to my current employers? Am I being selfish? | Might be laid off from current job that I like, should I jump ship for a better paying job even though I don't want to cause more problems for my coworkers? |
t3_p0mwa | relationship_advice | Close Friend Asking Mutual Friend if I Like Her | I've been good friends with this girl for about 6 months now. We used to hangout everyday, watch movies together, go on walks, etc. During this time I started to really like her, however I didn't ask her out because she was still trying to get over her last relationship, and she was rather open that she didn't want a boyfriend at the time.
Then came winter break, since we live in separate states we had to part ways for the month. We spoke to each other everyday via text or Skype and I think we became a little bit closer despite not being able to see each other for a month. She became much more open to me about personal problems, and would come to me for advice.
Then Spring Semester started. She has a very heavy workload this semester (17 credit hours plus multiple clubs) and hasn't been able to hangout much. Over break and since the beginning of the semester I've made a few suggestions of things that we could do on the weekend and she seemed pretty open to them.
Or so I thought until two days ago. One of our mutual friends told me that she was feeling pressured to do stuff with me and that she felt like she had no room to breathe. I was then told that she had asked our friend if I liked her, the friend's response was "no" even though they know that the truth is the exact opposite. I have since worked out the "pressuring" problem, I think, with the girl. I won't truly know until Monday because she went back home for the weekend.
Considering how little we've hung out this semester so far I'm not sure if she's avoiding me or if work really is taking up all of her time.
I'm now left wondering if I should go ahead and tell her how I feel. I'm about 95% certain that she does not feel the same towards me. I just feel that if she is wondering if I like her it'd be best to tell her myself instead of one of our friends telling her. So, should I go ahead and tell her even though I'm certain to fail? Even if she does say no, would it benefit our friendship if I were to open about this? | I really like this girl that I'm close friends with. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. Should I tell her how I feel anyway? |
t3_4ufegc | relationships | How can I [20M] go no contact with my best friend [20F] due to unreciprocated feelings, or should I continue friendship? | I'm not sure if a backstory is 100% necessary for this situation, so if you need more context I'll gladly answer in the comments.
Basically, I have developed feelings for my best friend. I have decided not to tell her or ask her out because I don't think it would go over well and do not want to put myself in that awkward situation.
This girl is my absolute best friend, I know I can go to her for anything whenever, and she will always be there. I really do not want to have to distance myself / go no contact but I know it is best for me. The thoughts of the what ifs we were together and thinking about her are mentally exhausting and I can no longer do it.
I guess I'm pretty much asking what is the best way of distancing myself to lose these feelings? Since we have some mutual friends and I really care about her I just have no clue on how to go about this, or what to do. | Developed feelings for my best friend and need to distance myself, don't know how since I care about her so much and we have mutual friends. |
t3_13188b | relationships | My girlfriend [25f] has no manners and it's | My girlfriend and I have a fairly decent, average, relationship with about one exception. Her manners are so bad that I'm embarrassed every time we eat with friends/family and I'm starting to get frustrated even when it's just her and I to the point where I have a hard time being "normal" around her eating.
I'm not a picky person by any means and in general am very tolerant of people who don't do things "my way" but after three years of listening to her chew with her mouth open, bite her fork/spoon when she takes a bite, play with her food, and shovel it into her mouth bit by bit I'm about at my wits end. I certainly don't expect royal manners or anything of that variety but I am slowly realizing that general manners are a must in my relationship.
I know the old adage of "just talk to her" (we really do talk about almost everything, very open) but I have a particularly hard time, I think, because I feel like it's not my responsibility to coach her in proper social manners. It feels a bit father-like and I get the "its not my job to teach her manners" every time I consider talking about it. It's the details that get to me, is it best to try and train her in every nuance that makes up good manners ("don't bite your fork, don't chew with your mouth open, don't pick at your food with your fingers") or should I just generally say "you need to work on your manners" and hope that she gets it?
It's not just her eating habits, she seems to have been taught very few social manners but I thought it best to start here and see if I can figure out an easy way to approach such a topic. | Girlfriend and I have a fairly healthy relationship but she lacks very basic manners and it's really starting to get to me. I have no idea how to successfully approach her and discuss it because I feel strange taking that role. |
t3_2m7q0d | relationships | Should I [33 M] move on and forget about a girl [25 F] even though we had something going on | So I met a girl a long time ago and we flrited around a little bit but nothing ever happened because I was getting out of a divorce and she was still seeing other people. A year or so went by and I was ready to start seeing people again. So we started seeing each other and we went out and she stayed the night a few times.
Seeing as though this was the first girl I had seen in a while I tend to keep her at a distance even though I liked her. Well I ended up pushing her into someone else that she is seeing now. She gave me the old we should just be friends for now and if something happens in the future then we will go from there line.
I realized I really do like her and want to actually persue a relationship with her without pushing her away and see where it goes. But she is seeing someone else. She still text me all the time and wants to talk. Should I take that as a sign of still interested, or is she keeping me around in case her current relationship doesnt work out, or is she really just wanting to be friends?
And should I move on? | Dated my first girl after my divorce and pushed her away too much. Realized later I really do like her but shes seeing someone else She still talks to me but dont know if its friendship talk or still interested? |
t3_30aw88 | relationships | Does my boyfriend [23M] actually even like me[23F]? | I've been seeing my now boyfriend for 2.5 months and things are great when we are together but not so much when we're apart. Both of us are busy with work so often we only get to see each other once a week (sometimes twice).
When we're together, we have a great time. Even phonecalls are great. But when we're apart, he just isn't fussed to text me! We'll have a phonecall once every 2-3 days, but when you're working all day, there's not much to say apart from boring work stuff really.
At the start of when we were dating he was a lot better with texting. But now, I think he'll happily go a day or two without texting me. We don't text during the day due to work. And I often leave it till about 6pm to text him, so he has an hour or so to chill/get food.
I am always the one to text him first and initiate a phone call as well. I have told him (in a banter-ish way) to try and text me but it's just not getting through to him. It's getting to the point where I feel like I'm severely nagging him.
Is he even into me?! I thought people in young relationships went through the honeymoon text-all-the-time phase... A relationship is meant to be when you're excited to speak to each other and I'm just not getting that from him. How to get through to him? | Boyfriend isn't bothered to text me / speak to me when we're apart - is he into me? How to change this? |
t3_546q3q | legaladvice | Did I shoplift from Walmart? | I'm going to France next week, and I wanted to get some toiletries and a backpack. I went to the check stand with a $5 toiletry kit, a $5 bag of trail mix, and a $30 backpack.
However, the checker forgot to ring in the backpack, even though it was sitting on the counter right there in plain sight. I didn't notice that I only paid $11 (sales tax included) instead of $43 (or whatever it should ave been) until I had left the store and got back in my car. The buzzer didn't ring her I walked out, and the receipt clearly says $11
With cameras everywhere, and a receipt that proves my guilt rather than innocence, am I in any legal trouble if I don't return the "stolen" backpack? | The checker at Walmart forgot to scan an item, so I didn't pay for it and didn't notice. Am I in legal trouble if I don't return it? |
t3_2wc0yb | relationships | I [23 F] need to know if my ideals for my relationship with my [28 M] bf are attainable. | I'll try to keep it simple. My boyfriend and I have been in a LDR (see each other about 2x a month - probably has something to do with it) for about 10 months. We get along great, he's a great guy, and we really enjoy spending time together.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if I should stay in the relationship. There is nothing serious he does or says that would prompt me to not want to be with him. But sometimes I feel like I'm just not CRAZY about him. I compare myself to friends and peers a lot - which I know isn't great but it's how I can gauge things - and it seems like others feel more like their SOs are these amazing people that make them feel incredible all the time. Then there's the other part of me that says if I leave, I won't find another person who comes so close to my ideal partner as this guy does.
I know it's unrealistic to be head over heels in love constantly, but is a regular relationship supposed to feel this regular? I have some previous relationship experience but nothing too serious. All things considered, I could be with this guy for a long time. But I don't know if how I'm feeling is normal or if I should seek out that person who makes me feel butterflies all the time. Is that a real thing? Can people really feel like that about one another all the time? Is anyone currently with someone who they think is great but not extraordinary? | My relationship feels very regular, is this normal or should we all seek out someone who we think is absolutely amazing? Do I have unrealistic goals/standards for a relationship? |
t3_rxef6 | self | At a crossroads, and I would like some opinions to help out. | I have just turned 20 and I am a bit lost as to what my future can hold. My father has just given me two months to decide on what to do and the options basically boil down to continue living with him and get a full time job/ keep on going to school (while listening to him as the law of the house) or move out.
This seems like a first world problem and I may be coming off as a spoilt manchild, but I believe a little background is required. My father is a fundamentalist Christian. He's a racist misogynist twat who drove my mother away from home during my fresh/sophmore year of highschool and I had to stay with him because he had the financial stability. I am an atheist mostly with the help from his views. He raised me with his hateful doctrine and I can't say that it hasn't had a psychological impact. I'm socially introverted and quick to anger, I wanted to seek therapy but he would not have any of that.
I am currently not attending school because I feel that I would be wasting my time if I went to college without a clear cut goal on what I want from life, because of my situation I've been living in a stagnant state and I believe that this crossroads can give me enough of a shock to my system to bring out some sort of emotion. I'm hoping for any type of emotion.
With that in mind my other option would be to visit my mother in Haiti, where she now lives. I should probably bring up that I live in the states and part of the problem of deciding is that I am not very aware of the logistics of moving out of country, even if it is temporary. I have no other family that I know of because of my fathers views and I can't imagine burdening any of my own friends when I am still so unsure of everything in my life. | My father is a hate filled man who has raised me in that regard, looking for help on whether a culture shock from moving to a troubled country can help shape my life. |
t3_31a4f5 | tifu | TIFU by not accepting that I don't know short cuts | So my Gf and I decided to take a spring break trip to go hiking in California about 2 hrs from where I live. We carefully plan the trip as we will leave at 10ish and be there about 12.
So we are driving up to the forest when she tells she wants to check out this small town she used to go to. (check out trinkets and such I guess idk...) I agree and I Google map it. About 40 min away.. But then I see a couple small roads that look like they cut angles and time off. And obviously Google maps has no idea WTF it's talking about Ima do *my* shortcut. Well... It took us 20 min in and was a dead end... Drive back and go original way. Gf rolls her eyes pretty hard.
We leave her trinket town and leave to the forest. Once again we map it and I see another "brilliant" short cut. She does her half assed attempt to convince me other wise but I was sure it was better. We ended up lost for and hour and a half to only end up 25 min from where we took my shortcut. We proceed with the original plan..
The last one was while in the forest. We were a good hour into the trail when we deviated off the trail to see some site seeing. Well to get back we decided to go a different way then our original... It is a loop. Wrong... We ended up wasting and hour and a ton of energy/sunlight. We went the original way and just arrived home. She is pretty pissed off and asked if she can keep her jewelry where I am supposed to keep my brain... | Went on hike. Got lost driving. Got lost again. Got lost during hike. Gf thinks I'm an idiot. I think I'm an idiot. |
t3_32rrgk | relationships | I (27F) might be moving for work next year, my SO (25F) of a year won't even consider long-distance | There is a good (I'd say 60%) chance I'll be moving to another city for a job opportunity in early 2016. The job market in my field is pretty flooded where I live, and pay/benefits will probably be better if I go elsewhere. My SO has commitments locally that will keep her here for around another year after that, and I wouldn't want her to drop everything and follow me anyway. I was hoping that she would be open to at least trying to continue our relationship, but when I brought it up she made it clear that if I leave we're over at least for now. (She did say we could reassess once she's able to move, but that's a long time from now and a lot of shit can happen in two years.) Other than this issue, everything is fine. I would even have said it was "great" a few days ago, but to be honest our discussion about my potential move has made me start to reassess.
Should we just break up now? When we originally talked about this I thought I was fine, but it's been eating away at me over the past few days. | I may move next year. I'm open to long-distance, my SO isn't. Should I cut my losses? |
t3_4g6ldu | dogs | [Discussion] My lab mix has terminal cancer. How can I make her last few months of life the best they possibly can be? | My husband and I learned in February that our precious dog has nasal carcinoma, a form of cancer in the nasal cavity. The cancer is terminal; there is no chance of curing it. We think she has a few more months left — at most, a year.
We have her on chemotherapy medication (we declined radiation, it would be too stressful for her), and in the past week or so, we have added some pain medication. We are working with our vet to make sure her pain is properly managed. The chemotherapy meds will only slow the spread of the tumor, but it won't stop it or cure it.
What can we do to make the last few months or year of her life the absolute best they can be?
Here's what we do now:
* Three walks a day, 20-40 minutes each
* Treats more frequently than usual
* Instead of just kibble, we are now giving her really good quality wet food in addition to kibble
* A lot more human food than usual (so far, her stomach has not been upset)
* Hikes in the forest as often as we can manage it (probably once every three weeks)
* As much affection and love as we can spare
She is about 10 years old and she has lived the past three years in our house with us. (We don't know what the first seven years of her life were like; we got her from a shelter.)
Does anyone have any other ideas on how we can make her life as good as it possibly could be? I would be especially interested to hear from people who have recently have had to put their dog down.
When we think she can't handle the pain anymore, we are planning on having home euthanasia — our dog absolutely hates the vet and we can't imagine her leaving this world at the vet's office. We love her so, so much, and we want to do everything right for her. Any advice you have would be much appreciated. | I am looking for ideas on how to improve my dog's quality of life for the next few months before her cancer becomes too much for her to bear. |
t3_4j72zw | relationships | My [17F] uncle [26 M], who I am very close to, is becoming addicted to prescription drugs and losing his work and family | I don't have a good relationship with my family due to some past problems. I don't talk a lot with them. My uncle is my life. He kinda rescued me from a family abuser. He tutors me every week and helps with school projects. He buys me clothes, books, sets up my computer stuff and games and is generally my best friend. I can always talk with him about anything.
The last two years have been bad for him. I think his work has not been going very well and he's depressed and down a lot of times. I told him to visit a councillor but people say bad things about those who go. He said there might be problems at his job if he has to go to a psychiatrist. He has always been slightly outcast from my mom's family so he doesn't have anyone coming over to talk to him except me.
So over the last few months he has been taking this medicine called Alprazolam that he said the shop recommended to him and he has changed. I see him getting dizzy a lot. He is starting to get irritated easily. I think he's having trouble concentrating cause he is forgetting what we worked on just last week. He even had a major argument last night over mobile with someone from work.
I checked his cabinet and he has bunches and bunches of medicine. He doesn't have any chronic illness so there's no reason for him to have so many. It's all stuff like diazepam and alprozalam which internet tells me is very addicting.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. If I tell my mom there'll be even more trouble. And he's drifting apart from me, telling me I shouldn't spend so much time with someone like him. Should I tell a hospital? Or the police?
I'm in Kolkata, if that helps. | My uncle is having a prescription drug problem such that he is becoming depressed and is having trouble with his work and his estranged family |
t3_q4lmx | jobs | Minimum six hours prep work for tech support interview? | I had a great (imo) phone interview yesterday for a technical support position and they want me in next week to see how I'll do on the software and on 'fitting in' I suppose. I was given a list of webinars to start with and to basically learn and be able to demonstrate how they work. I just totaled up the starting list and came up to six hours of videos to watch!
It was hinted that I should watch them multiple times and really be able to strut my stuff next week. Only I am a college student - I have an exam to study for, a shift at my current job to work over the weekend, three projects to put serious work in to and who knows what else - basically I'm worried about having the time to prepare fully.
Is this unusual? It seems like an entry level technical support position; sure I will need to know everything once I'm hired, but for right now I died a little inside upon doing the calculations (and that's only for one watch a piece). Any advice on what to focus on or do I just really need to commit myself to getting everything accomplished? | second 'interview' next week, told to watch six hours of webinar videos multiple times and memorize them, is this uncommon, advice? |
t3_2auhip | relationships | Me [33 M] broke with my girlfriend [28 F] of 4 years, feels horrible, afraid I am making a mistake | We are ending a 4 year relationship. Even though I am 33, this feels like my first true break up since I have not been in such a long relationship before and I am afraid I am making a mistake.
I have known this person for 4 years and we have been pretty much tied to the hip. We have lived together the past 2 years in the same apartment.
A lot of difficult things came between us, my mother did not approve of her race and her job, and left nasty notes for her in my apartment.
After standing up to my mother, we have not been talking for 6 months.
In addition, my lack of commitment to my now ex-girlfriend made her increasingly bitter and angry, she felt hurt that my family seemed to reject her even though I felt like I stood up for her with my family.
There is also the lack of sex. With the stress of my family, pressures to commit, while at the same time supporting her in my apt (I payed all the bills but I make much more money), I felt there was a loss of spontaneity and sexiness in our relationship and it translated in lack of intimacy in the bedroom.
This is going to sound weird to you guys but I love this person to death. I would do everything to see her smile and make her happy. She's my soulmate and understand everything about my insecurities and fears. I am afraid to lose her but at the same time I do not want to hurt her anymore by half committing, and I am afraid that I have already lost her.
I want to hear from people who have gone through a similar situation where they were able to survive parental disapproval and loss of intimacy and rise above it. | broke up with girlfriend of 4 years due to family disapproval, loss of intimacy, anyway I can make this work? |
t3_vjt86 | relationship_advice | I need help... | Hello there, first post here, I need help. Let me explain the situation. Yesterday, I was at my friend house to celebrate the saint-jean (she's a girl, I'm a boy). The Saint-Jean is the birthday of quebecers. So I was at her house and we were alone in the tent, and we drank and we drank a lot. I was lying beside her and we were drunk... I'll leave you the details. So yeah, we didn't had sex but it was pretty close. So now today there's a ''disconfort'' within her and me. Now we can't talk and I'm feeling really sad and I don't want to loose her. Please help? | Got drunk with my best friend(I'm a boy, She's a girl), did things that I regret with her, don't want to loose her, need help. |
t3_42n7q8 | relationships | I (28f) think my husband (26m) is upset wants to leave me | Please help, I think I am suffering from undiagnosed anxiety, and it is really affecting the health of my relationship with my husband. My husband doesn't really have much changes in behavior/attitude except for positively. He's had anger issues that he's worked so hard on and is so much better.
So, basically, I take things that have always happened in our relationship and suddenly think "oh no he's super annoyed/pissed/angry at me, now he doesn't want to be around me, what if he wants to dump me and get rid of me?!" Whereas when I'm in a normal, positive state of mind I will know it's just my husband being my husband. But whatever is wrong with me is taking it and blowing it out of proportion. I know this because I have asked my husband frequently "what's wrong, is everything okay, let's talk".
Nothing will be wrong. He's happy with me, he loves me, and I seem anxious and sad. Please help me, I am freaking out. I know (logically) he isn't, but my mind keeps circling those thoughts obsessively. How do I stop? | I am trapped in the thought that my husband is upset with me and wants to leave me, but logically I know he doesn't. What is wrong with me? |
t3_2slez0 | relationships | ? How do I [39 M] meet/talk to a girl [33 F] at work - when she's in a different department/building ? | I work at a pretty big place (10,000+ people) that has many buildings and departments. I saw this one girl on match.com (she's not on it anymore) that I then recognized from work and have been desperately trying to figure out how to meet her. She works in a different department and different building and I can't figure out how I can bump into her to express my interest. None of my friends at work are familiar with people in that area and so I can't figure out how to contact her.
Unfortunately I may have missed my chance already because I have learned that she is seeing someone - that would explain her leaving match.com, but I have a major crush on this girl and I can't think or concentrate until I at least express my interest to her. But I have NO idea how to do it. There are probably a couple of cases where I could "accidentally" bump into her - if I walk the halls enough, but I'm not sure that is the best way to do it. At this point it seems like the only way to do it.
I'm trying to figure out if she's involved in any fitness activities at work - since she's into running, etc, so maybe I could see her at our gym, but without knowing her schedule that seems impossible too. I guess it couldn't hurt to be in the gym all day - at least I'd get in better shape.
I know this sounds stupid, and given that I'm 39 (she's 33), you'd think I'd have this stuff figured out by now, but I don't. Maybe I shouldn't even do it since she's seeing someone - but I'm already sad that I missed my chance once so I need to at least try one last time. | So how do I "accidentally/on-purpose" meet this girl at work or how do I express my interest to her - without getting fired? |
t3_3ov4o5 | relationships | I [19M] am in my first relationship with gf [19F], her first too, for 3 years now. Our relationship is great but I can't get the thought of meeting other girls out of my head. | We've been together for 3 years, we are each other's first. We get along quite well, she's my best friend. We have our problems but there's been nothing we haven't worked through together. Our sex life is good and we don't argue yet I can't help but feel a sense of yearning to play the field a bit and meet other girls. I'm ashamed and feel horrible about it.
There's a girl that I work with that is interested in me, and I had a crush on her before I even knew her, as she lives in my area and we see each other around. The thought of throwing away what I have with my current girlfriend makes me feel disgusting as she's great. She has a bad self image and anxiety and I don't want to hurt her in any way, I love her. She's done so much for me, she helps me with my own anxieties in a way i don't think anyone else ever could. She knows me inside out, and I her. We have an understanding of each other's headspace and are comfortable with each other in that sense completely.
I've spoken to people in my life and have been told that I'm too young to be worrying about things like being in a relationship and that I should be making the most of my youth and worry about being happy. On the other hand I've been told that what I've got is good and I should be happy maintaining it. I guess why I am posting this here is I'm looking for a bit of perspective and advice please. I'm happy where I am but it's like a "grass is greener" situation and it's doing my head in. Thanks. | I have an ideal relationship, I should be content but I feel the urge to meet other girls and throw it away. |
t3_kq4fk | AskReddit | What is the absolute worst thing a former 'Friend' has done to you? This happened to me the other day, | Me and a friend Derrick were stoked to go to a concert located approximately 130kms away from our home town. We didn't have a designated driver until my Girlfriend offered to drive us last minute. My girlfriend didn't like the band playing, so she went to wait at her girlfriends in the meantime.
We get there and surprisingly meet up with our friend Cindy. Cindy is an old high school friend who I haven't seen in a while, we've been friends for a long time (about 8 years or so). She tells us that she can give both, me and Derrick a ride home after the show. I then call my Girlfriend and tell her that she can didn't have to wait for us (the show ended at 1:00 – 1:30am). She thanked Cindy and left for home.
*Flash forward to the end of the show*
I turn around during the on core and see Cindy walking towards the exit. As she left, she got swallowed by a crowd of people. I then texted her "Are you still giving us a ride?" Cindy then responded with "Nope :)". Personally I thought she was joking. I didn't start panicking until Derrick and I left the concert and tried calling her/texting her. She turned her phone off.
We didn't have any money for a cab, hotel, motel etc. We also don't know anyone that lives in that huge city. Furthermore, I had college in the morning, and my friend Derrick worked, so we *had* to make it back by morning.
Derrick and I tried to walk 130kms at 1:30am in the morning in the cold (gets chilly in Canada this time of year). We walked for a solid 2 hours until a cousin of Derrick came and saved us. | Former Friend said she would give me and another friend a ride back home from a concert(130kms away), then left us there as 'a joke' |
t3_1rpz89 | relationships | My[22 F] bf [22 M] of 3 years did some bad things in our relationship. I don't know what to do. | I'm writing this with a throwaway. I love my bf and when things are good, they are really good; I feel so close to him, he seems perfect for me, and we have a lot of fun. But when things are bad they get really bad.
He's done things that were very aggressive over the past 3 years (it started about 2 months into the relationship and the last time was over 6 months ago). He never hit me but he has pushed me to the ground, held me to the floor when arguing, threw things at me/at walls, punched things (including punching holes in walls), hit me with a pillow repeatedly until it broke open, snatched my phone from my hand and cracked it in two, and spit on me repeatedly (this is the worst one for me).
When we argue, he yells and throws things. He calls me names and swears at me (but I don't do the same to him).
His ex girlfriend also told me he slept with her twice while we've been together (I don't know if it's true or not, he flat out denied it).
Writing all that down, it seems obvious that the relationship is not healthy and I shouldn't stay. But I do love him and enjoy being around him when things are good. Things have been perfect for about a month now, but I just can't forget all of the things he did.
He says I'm just being insecure, sensitive, and overly emotional. He thinks I should just be able to forget all the bad things he did and to move on. He says he will never do anything like that again. I don't know what to do.
I'd really appreciate any advice. I'm not saying I'm perfect; I do have my insecurities and I can be passive aggressive and moody at times. I just don' t know if he's right and I'm being too sensitive about things that happened in the past. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to respond, I really appreciate it. | There have been some really bad parts in my relationship. Everything is good (for) now, but I can't forget the things that happened in the past. |
t3_23giau | dogs | [Serious] Hello, I am Charlie and I have Bipolar Disorder | I had not been diagnosed until about a month ago after my third hospitalization, though the disorder has been giving me issues since senior year of high school with anxiety and major depression affecting me since sophomore year.
I had to almost completely drop out of high school due to side effects of the disorders, and due to their increasing intensity, I have had to miss a lot of class first and second semester of college.
There is a great chance I am transferring universities for my sophomore year of college, but I am hesitant to make this adjustment with my disorders, especially since my episodes are still occurring and the panic attacks are frequent.
I have been doing a lot of research into Psychiatric Service Dogs, and have been considering it as an option. Due to my busy schedule and the rigor of work (both in and out of class) to which I subject myself, it seems like a smart choice.
My worries are:
1. All of the effort and money required to attain a Psychiatric Service Dog will be for nothing because I will not experience a positive effect. 2. My peers not understanding the necessity of the animal.
My question to all of you - Do you think with my condition and the life I choose to live, acquiring a Psychiatric Service Dog would be a smart decision?
(I am also cross-posting this to /r/mentalhealth) | Do you think, as a college student with the above disorder and rigorous college and work schedule would be in the best light to acquire a Psychiatric Service Dog. |
t3_2a46la | relationships | Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [20 M] 6 months, told me how fat he used to think I was, am I allowed to be upset? | I always gave him digs by mentioning that the one time when we first started dating that he was really stingy and wouldn't by me ice cream. It was funny, I thought.
Today however, when we were texting he told me the real reason was because he annoyed I had been gaining weight.
He works out a lot and to build muscle you have to eat a lot of calories, so we'd always go get food together ((crappy dorm food even!!)) and I ended up gaining 10-15 pounds in a couple months? But I noticed the weight gain and started a gym routine and lost at least 20 pounds since then.
But that fact that he has the nerve to tell me how annoyed he was with my weight gain and how he was grossed out by me? I don't know I'm very hurt! I used to be very overweight as a child/teen and have struggled with body issues and anorexia. I went from being 190 pounds freshman year to 105 by the start of my junior year. He knows I had all these issues and still chose to tell me this.
He backed up his argument by reminding me of the time when one of our friends ((who is kind of a butthole but that's just him idk?)) called me fat as a joke. He said to me that he actually kind of agreed with him. And that he's glad he called me fat cause that inspired me to start working out.
It just bugs me because he isn't the fittest dude either! But I like him for him, our personalities really compliment each other well and I just love being around him, so little things like weight gain or unattractive habits never bothered me.
I would never dreamed of saying anything like this to him.
I don't know, do I have a right to be hurt? | Boyfriend of 6months told me he used to think I was fat and unattractive, I lost the weight and feel / look great, am I allowed to still be upset though?' |
t3_1ntdcp | AskReddit | What are some must see places in the US for someone wanting to visit all 50 states in month? | My last post was removed by a mod. I've reworded the title to include a question and only the question. I still fail to see how this is a survey, yes/no, DAE, highest vote wins etc question. I am genuinely looking for information.
A bit more information for you.
I will be working in the US next summer and I will have a month to go travelling when I'm done. I want to see all 50 states while I'm there. I'll be working in Pennsylvania, so I don't really need to visit it when I'm done.
Also while I'm working there I'll have time off where I'll definitely get to visit New York and New Jersey. So really, in one month I want to visit 47 states basically. What's the best way to get to Alaska and Hawaii?
If we can, we want to visit Mexico too for a couple of days. | I have one month to visit 47 states. What can't I miss. I'm over 21 so drinking and gambling aren't an issue. |
t3_u8dax | AskReddit | Who else watched that Mermaid shit on Animal Planet? | (Commence Downvote)
My family was watching it and I read the article on here a few days ago so I gave it a shot. I'm visiting for the summer and I don't have cable so I was fully ignorant to the shit they can pass off as true through the tube. Fast forward two hours later, 40 minutes of commercials, almost an hour of poor quality CGI, claims of mermaid bone records, and video footage of a 8 year old flip phone with zoom in capabilities and at least 720p quality, I was fucking upset. Oh, and they claim all their evidence was confiscated by the Navy.
So, I thought, someone on reddit has to have torn this shit apart. I haven't found one yet. I'm assuming every skeptic on here is far more intelligent than me and already knows that cable and Animal Planet is full of shit.
Don't get me wrong, I'm interested in the aquatic ape theory, and I've seen the TED talk on it so naturally I'm arrogantly assuming I'm more informed on the matter than everyone else...
Lastly, a quick google search of the lead Dr | Animal Planet is either the greatest troller on basic cable or someone could sue those motherfuckers. Evidence? Citation? Lawsuit? |
t3_2o8tyi | relationships | I [26 M] think my girlfriend [32 F] wants to get pregnant. | We've been dating for about 2 years now. For the past six weeks or so we haven't seen each other much because her sister recently had to have a hysterectomy. I thought this was going to be the cause of us breaking up, but we finally got together and things seem to be back to normal. However her sex drive is way up.
During the two years we've been dating I've never used any protection. She has always claimed to be on the pill and I always trusted that she was(Disclaimer: I do know that its not foolproof and that it was stupid). However now something feels...different. I just don't have a good feeling about it. We're meeting Saturday for a date and shes made it clear that she wants to get laid and I don't know how to bring up after 2 years that I want to wear a condom this time.
I am not financially stable enough to have a kid so it was stupid of me to have risked it as much as I have, but we've recently had discussions about how shes worried her parents will never have grandchildren and that her biological clock is ticking. This issue is compounded given her sisters recent medical issues.
I realized this all probably sounds juvenile and stupid, but I love her and I want to marry her. I am just not ready for children and I don't know that she would be honest with me about her intentions. | I'm worried my girlfriend is trying to get pregnant and I've never used a condom during sex with her and I don't know how to bring up that I want to without starting a disastrous fight. |
t3_1v7sri | legaladvice | OHIO - Possible Expungement of Record | In June of 2007 I was convicted/plead guilty to O.R.C. 2907.07B, a 5th degree felony in the State of Ohio. This is the only offense I have on my record, not even a misdemeanor. I was sentenced to 5 years community control(probation), and it was somehow determined through an MMPI that I needed group therapy.
I successfully completed group therapy, which not everyone does. They either don't complete it, complete it, or successfully complete it. Due to successful completion, I was let off probation 1 year early. That was July of 2011. I'm coming up on the 3rd year since completion of probation, and from what I have heard, felonies can be expunged after a 3 year waiting period from the last day of probation.
I've read up plenty and I had lost hope that I could get my record expunged. I then found the [Ohio Senate Bill 18] ( from the 127th General Assembly, which was passed on October 10, 2007, AFTER my conviction date. To me it pretty much says that my offense is expungeable, as this bill is NOT retroactive. The last thing my lawyer had said to me, was to make sure I get my offense and registration expunged.
I do have some hope, as this appears to be plain as day, but then again, I am not a lawyer. Expungement would greatly increase my chances of getting a decent job again. If asked, I will give as much information as I feel comfortable. | Convicted of 2907.07B in June '07. Let off probation 1 year early. [Senate Bill 18] leads me to believe I can get record expunged in July. So can I? |
t3_4ehlmz | relationships | How do I (21f) stop getting jealous in relationships? | I'm 21 and have only had two serious relationships before. They were both abusive, the first one physically and the second emotionally and verbally. I know the first cheated on me and suspect the second one did also.
Anyway, in both those relationships I would get really jealous. I would get jealous when they would do things without me, hang out with other girls, and even when they take a long time to text me back. I know I respond to texts fast but it seems like most guys are a lot slower. And then if I see that they are on Facebook and haven't replied to my text yet I assume that they're ignoring me or talking to someone else. I was usually pretty good about keeping it to myself and ignoring it but I don't want to have those jealous thoughts at all.
I recently started talking with this guy I really, really like. He lives a bit away so we just text a lot. He's moving back here after the summer. I don't want to start with these jealous tendencies again but I already am. I keep it to myself but my mind races when he hasn't texted me back in hours but I see him on Facebook. I know it sounds super silly. He also goes out a lot and drinks and has tons of super pretty model looking friends. I know he likes me a lot too though and we text everyday.
So how do I stop being so jealous? I don't even know why I do this to myself. And before anyone might suggest counseling for the past abuse, I am already seeing a counselor. | I have always gotten jealous in relationships. I now like someone a lot and I don't want to ruin it by being jealous. I need to stop doing this to myself, but how? |
t3_1jbgsl | legaladvice | Will my story in my traffic court tomorrow possibly allow the judge to add a reckless driving to my ticket? | Sorry if this is the wrong section to ask this, but some legal advice would be greatly appreciated:
Last month, I got a ticket for speeding on the highway, apparently going 82mph in a 65 mph zone. It was on Saturday night. I was on the left lane and then switch to the lane to the right. the car in the front was getting close and his breaklight suddenly went on. I panicked and turned to the left lane again. However, when I did, I saw that I had cut someone off and was really close. Without thinking, I accelerated and that's when I got pulled over.
I know it was wrong of me and I take responsibility of my actions, but it was the weekend before my last high school finals and I was stressed out and had just found out I was going to my safety college because of financial reasons. I really wanted to get home that night.
I am still a very young driver, age 17, and the ticket is 400 dollars. I have learned my lesson and have not gone past 70mph. Please give me some word of advice for my court appearance tomorrow. I have learnt my lesson and am just hoping the punishment isn't as severe as it currently is.
Should I plead guilty or not guilty? Also, would I still be able to attend traffic school if I plead not guilty? | Because the car in front of me suddenly touch the break, I panicked and changed lanes and cut a car off on the left lane. I felt bad and accelerated, resulting in me getting pulled over. |
t3_1tl80r | relationships | I [19F] might be in love with my boyfriend [20 M], not sure how to approach this. | We have been together for around 7 months; I think about him all the time and I enjoy spending time with him. I have had one previous relationship which ended badly because I would not say I love you back to him. I am now really nervous of the idea of love. I am not sure I even love my current boyfriend because I do not have any real examples to go off of in my life. All I know is I really really enjoy spending my time with him.
I am probably thinking about this too much or putting too much into the idea of love. I guess I am just curious. Whenever we watch movies together and the people begin to talk about love or say I love you I get all rigid and think about my breathing like he can tell I am thinking about us. It is silly how nervous I am about this. I am not very good at expressing my feelings and I feel uncomfortable with public displays of affection so we do not really talk about our feelings for each other too much. I have no idea how much he likes me and I am really worried I am more invested in this relationship than him. I do not know if it would be the right idea to tell him I am falling for him or not. I do not want to scare him away and have things end up like my previous relationship except with the tables turned. | Might be falling for my boyfriend, I cannot tell if I am or not. I do not want to scare him away by telling him I am either. |
t3_4kjimg | relationships | Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 3.5 years, recent college grads. He's going to be moving for work, and I'm not sure if I want to do long-distance or turn down a job offer to stay with him. | My boyfriend and I recently graduated from college. He has a solid software engineering job lined up in Seattle, and I have an offer for a 1 year long government position in San Francisco. I'm currently debating whether I should turn down this job offer and move to Seattle with him, or do long distance for at least a year (after which I hope to go to medical school).
There are several reasons why I would want to take the job offer and try to do long-distance. First, Seattle and SF aren't that far apart (only a 2 hour flight and same time zone), so it's not too long-distance. Second, the salary is decent ($50k + health benefits), and job security is always nice. Third, my family is from SF, so I would be living at home rent-free. Fourth, a lot of my friends from high school/college will be living in the SF Bay Area, whereas Seattle would mean establishing a new social network.
There are also several reasons why I would want to move. First, I have a bachelor's in public health, but this position (basic HR/office-type role) is not related to my field of study. Second, I'm not sure I could make long-distance work. I care deeply for my boyfriend, and I can't bear to be apart from him. Third, Seattle would present the opportunity to start anew; I've lived in the same part of the country my whole life, and this could be a learning experience. Fourth, I dislike living at home, and if I moved to Seattle, my mom would kick out my freeloading SIL from the SF house and rent out the house (negates point 3 above). | I'm not sure if I want to move with my boyfriend to a new city and forego job security or stay at home and try to make long-distance work. |
t3_ruq76 | relationships | am i being ridiculous? please be honest. | Background relationship info: both 18, been dating for 3 and a half years.
So sometimes my boyfriend will like other girls pictures on facebook that he knows. Sometimes they are his friend, sometimes they are random. But I get kind of uncomfortable when it comes up on my news feed that he liked a girls picture. Sometimes he even comments on them. I can't explain why, but it makes me uncomfortable. I have confronted him about it in the past and he usually just calls me psycho, but I feel like if I asked any other girl how they would feel about it they would say the same thing. I don't get like rip shit like "ermehgerd youre cheating on me with her cause you liked her picture!" I'm just like "Oh why'd you like her picture" I can't explain why it makes me so uncomfortable. Like if you think a girls hot or whatever that's fine but you keep that to yourself and don't display it on the internet for your girlfriend to see.
But yeah, am I being insane? Honest opinions please, thanks. | Boyfriend likes other girls pictures on facebook. It bugs me, can't even explain why but it does. Should add his profile says he's single. |
t3_4r12dk | relationship_advice | I [31/f] have a new bf [28/m], but it's making me realize more every day that I'm not over my ex. | I was engaged to someone who I was with for 3 years. I moved to another country for him and we lived together for a year. He completely broke my heart (cheated on me with upwards of 5 people in the time we were together). I know we weren't right for each other; he also cheated on his gf before me several times, and I don't think he's capable of being faithful. However, he had a lot of great qualities as well. Obviously. That's why I said yes to marrying him, and was willing to uproot my life for him. We broke up when I finally decided to move back to the US. This was 8 months ago.
I did everything you're supposed to do when trying to get over someone. I cut off all contact; blocked our ability to even see each other on fb; I changed my number. I did this for about 6 months. And in that time I started seeing someone else.
That someone else and I have been dating about 5 months now. Things are fine between us. He's nice and treats me well. But around a month ago I started missing my ex. It really surprised me. It sort of sprang up out of nowhere one day. I tried to push it out of my head for about a week, but couldn't and then I started talking to him again over FB. Nothing big--just a catch up message here and there. "How's this family member?" "How's that friend?" "What ever happened to that promotion you were going for?"
We message maybe once a week, or every two. It's always me that instigates. He's clearly moved on--has a new gf.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop thinking about him and missing all the things he had about his personality that I loved. I genuinely think about him multiple times a day. Do I break up with my current SO? i think it's pretty shitty that I've been with my new guy for 5 months and can't get my ex out of my head. | I was engaged to my ex who I was with for 3 years. Now I'm 5 months in with new bf. Can't stop thinking about the ex suddenly. What do I do? |
t3_2ay944 | relationships | Me [22F] with my BF [27M] of 8 months, he is extremely introverted and I am extremely extroverted...need some balance help! | my boyfriend is extremely introverted. Lately we are in a routine that is lacking. We spend almost all our time together which is great for me but seems to ware on him since he is used to being alone. After we both get home from work Ill go to his place usually (or he will come to mine) and we will make dinner, watch tv, read, basically do boring couples things... Lately sex is kind of blah. He has gotten lazy and no longer feels a need to woo me. I think (and he later confirmed) we spend too much time together. He needs a night or two off. Which is fine, but i dont know how to do that and move forward with our relationship at the same time.
Introverts: I need you to tell me How would we be able to live together if he needs a night a week away from me? How do I go about this? I want to keep my partner happy, I want to make this work. As an extremely extroverted person, I need help finding a good way to go balance this. I also want to know how introverts would want this situation handled. | boyfriend and I of opposite personalities have reached a rut caused by routine and over exposure to one another. From the mind of an introvert, how do I balance this better AND move forward with the relationship. |
t3_3o9pq5 | relationships | [21 M] Relationship seems doomed after getting back from long distance | I started seeing this girl last October, and we were together through the end of our senior year of college. We did distance since then, except for a 3 week period where she was back in town and we could see each other briefly a couple days a week. We had a fight at the beginning of that 3 week stretch, but patched things up and had a good time before she left. In the 3 months since then, communication broke down more and more and we had a few big arguments about it. She was very busy, I was the complete opposite, and it led to tension.
She got back the other day and it was clear that things were off. She didn't seem very excited to see me. We got lunch together yesterday, and afterwards I told her that if she needs time to ease back into things we can kind of build back up slowly. We talked a bit more and she said she wasn't sure if she felt strangely about me or if it was because she was going through a big life change by moving (which is why I suggested slowing things down in the first place). We're going to reevaluate where we stand in a week or two, and in the meantime just focus on our own stuff and having fun with each other.
Now you're probably all cringing at this, but I'm not stupid. I know that this is the sort of thing you don't usually come back from. She's probably going to tell me it's over, but I gave her the out yesterday to tell me then if she doesn't think we could get back to where we were and she didn't take it. I know that she at least used to be really into me, and I feel like that's something we could get back, and (at the risk of reading too much into it) it seems like she might think so too. I just don't know how to balance giving her space and trying to make that happen. | Girlfriend went away for a 3 months, said she feels weird about us but isn't sure if it's because of life stress. How do I balance giving her space and trying to reignite the spark we had? |
t3_4mgrdo | relationships | Me [20M] with my girlfriend [20F] has been dating for a year thinks I am too friendly with my girl friends | I think I messed thing up forever. For awhile now my girlfriend has been very apprehensive about me chatting with my girl friends. She thinks that I am too friendly with them and flirty. I do agree with what she is saying but today she read through my messages on Facebook and found a conversation I had with a female friend in which we agreed to hangout more in the summer, in a friendly way, which she thinks that I have reverted back to me being a flirt. I thought that I was pretty blatantly joking in the messages about being best friends with her or coming over to her house and eating dinner etc, but my girlfriend thought that it meant I was being way too friendly with her.
I think that I fucked things up forever. She now doesn't want to talk to me and is thinking about ending things with me. Anyone have any advice regarding this situation?
She has been my life this year and I love her so much. I know that she is the one for me. I know this for sure. I've thought about spending the rest of my life with her and I would do anything to keep her happy. | Girlfriend thinks I am an asshole for being overly friendly with a mutual friend, thinking about breaking up with me over it. |
t3_1w2zkb | relationships | My [20/M] girlfriend [19/F] of 5 months might be too much in love with me! | I'm her first serious boyfriend.
It's gotten to the point where I've become half of her world. She's barely able to go an hour without texting or calling me now. She says "I love you" very frequently. She wants to spend a lot of time with me. Although she says it's OK for me to do my own thing, I can tell that she is upset when I leave her alone or say no to hanging out together.
We see each other every day as long as we're in the college campus. She's becoming increasingly... clingy. Now don't get me wrong, I love her, but I'm terrified. I've never had anyone other than my parents love me like this before.
She's very loving and caring, but it seems her affection for me is growing at a terrifying rate. She doesn't ever directly say anything, but judging by her words, I can feel that she's starting to get jealous of me hanging with other girls...
I'm scared that she'll become so attached that it interferes with all of my other friendships. I never had this problem until two weeks ago and now I don't even know what to think. She gives me more than enough space, but it's starting to seem like she's giving me less space.
I am also terrified about how in love with me she is. I don't know what will happen in the future. Maybe we'll remain together and maybe we won't. But if we break up, I'm terrified at how her state of mind would be afterwards. I love her enough to worry for that. I don't want to cause a permanent scar in her life. | Girlfriend might be too in love with me, scared to hurt her in the future and also scared that it may grow to something worse. |
t3_2ubq74 | tifu | TIFU by wanking with hair gel (NSFW) | Context: I live at home with my two parents and my brother. My parents both work and were both have been gone since Monday on their anniversary to Vegas. Anyway, my brother and I walk to the same school every morning but on Fridays, I get out at 10:30 today because I have a weird schedule that consists of an early lunch and multiple free periods. Keep in mind I have had a stuffy nose for the past week or so redditors.
Story: So, I get out of school at 10 o'clock and get home around 10:15. I hang out for about 30 minutes or so, until I realize the significance of the empty house. So, I decided to open up the spank bank. I am mildly aroused and decide that I need some lubrication. I look around my room and cannot find my lotion so I head to my parents room where I still cannot find any lotion. Checking the time, there is only about 25 minutes left to do the deed. I then go to my brother's room and find a bottle of what appears to be lotion. I rush to my room, fully naked, hoping that I will have enough time for a quickie. I turn on the content and apply lotion **generously** and the rest is history. After I am finished I put the lotion back and clean up a little.
My brother came home about 2 minutes later and obviously couldn't smell the lotion or see any of the mess. A few minutes later, I sit down to watch tv, and my balls begin to feel a little weird, but I brush it off. I fall asleep on the couch and awake three hours later in agonizing pain, my sack feeling like concrete. I think back to what happened and hobble upstairs like a penguin to my brother's room to check the lotion. Turns out, it's **hair gel**. I couldn't smell the difference when I used it because of my stuffy nose. In a desperate attempt, I jump into the shower and feel a searing pain in that area. I don't dare to look down, but when I eventually do, it feels and looks like a rock hard, sun-dried tomato.
This:
vs
This: | What I thought I used to "wrestle the dragon" was not Nivea moisturizer, but it was in fact Nivea ultra forte extra strong styling gel. |
t3_2pj46k | relationships | Me20 and gf having trust and consequently sex problems | My gf of 3 months has lied before about her past especially who she was with and why she was with them. Also inconsequential things like how many times she's had sex with each partner, not that I asked. I've caught her in lies that didn't matter and ones that turned out to matter because she would wave things in my face only to realize she's done them too.
But the problem here starts with my cousin TS[M21]. TS has slept with over 40 girls, most of them meth whores(rightly so, since TS is a meth-head) and a few have been HIV and/or Hep C positive. I asked my gf specifically if she slept with him citing concerns for health and she very promptly said no. I thought nothing of it since TS was known for how scummy he is and I thought much higher of her than that back then. She denied it vehemently each time he was brought up even if I didn't about it.
Finally TS called and told me and said he didn't at first for his own selfish reasons. I confronted her and she still lied but eventually gave in. Since then I don't look at her the same, I barely get turned on by her or at all really. All I think about now is how she got fucked by a meth-head in a gas station parking lot at 2 in the morning and how she lied about it. What do I do? Kick her out, take a.break, work it out, look the other way? | girlfriend of 3 months lied about sleeping with my meth-headed cousin in a gas station parking lot. He's slept with 40+ girls some of whom had HIV and Hepatitis C. What do? |
t3_2xzzgm | relationships | How do I[22M] go about a hanging out with a girl[23F] I liked, and havent seen in months? | Hi guys. I'm a college student in my final quarter of school.
About 6 months ago I met this girl through a mutual friend of ours. At the time, we got along really well. She also had a long term boyfriend of I think 4 years at the time. I really liked her, but out of respect of their relationship I never did anything. Anyway we eventually stopped hanging out, and I stopped hanging out with her friend group as well.
Cue yesterday, and out of the blue after months of no contact, she messaged me. She told me she missed me and wanted to hang out. Checked her facebook, and she is also very recently single. However, I am not sure she is interested in me romantically. We always got along well in the past, but it was never anything beyond mild flirtation. I've also completely fell out of contact with her social group and mutual friends.
I want to hang out with her, but if she isn't interested in me romatically I feel a 1 on 1 hmight turn out awkward. At the same time, I no longer hang out with any of her friends. And all my friends are just bros who go barhopping and hit on girls a lot, so inviting her to hang out with mine, would really not mesh well. What should I do? Would scheduling a 1 on 1 be awkward? | girl i havent seen contacted me after months of no contact. she wants to hang out, but lost touch with all mutual friends. is hanging out 1 on 1 weird in this situation? |
t3_3ju6yx | relationships | Me [24M] with girl [28/F] I just met - what's the etiquette for leaving her place? | So theres this girl I met yesterday at a beach party. We spent the whole day together, then went back to mine. She didn't want to have sex as we just met but we fooled around a little at mine, before she walked home. I'm seeing her tomorrow for (in her words) a "quick dinner".
Now I'm thinking quick dinner might involve dinner then back to hers/mine which I'm fine with. But if I go back to hers, as someone who has always brought girls back to his apartment and never gone to a girls place, I have no idea what the etiquette is. Do we just have sex then I get up and leave? Do we have a cuddle before I leave? And if so, for how long? Do I wait for her to fall asleep before leaving? I wouldn't normally care if it was a one night thing, but I'm thinking of pursuing a little more with this girl so don't want to come off as needy by overstaying my welcome, but also not coming off as a douche bag by just fucking and leaving. | What is todays etiquette for a guy who doesn't want to come off as needy or as a douchebag when you go to her apartment? |
t3_jrav2 | running | Fairly new to running, just look for any thoughts or advice on current training | Hi runnit, In the last few months I've added running into my program and was looking for any tips on how I've been going.
I've been out to the athlete's foot and got a new pair of running shoes that apparently supports my gait (based on the really expensive machine I walked on). They are Nike Lunarglide 2 - I tend to roll in at the end of a step I think (don't know if that means under pronated, over pronated or there's something wrong with my prostate - basically my weight passes over my left foot like this bracket '(' and for my right foot this bracket ')' ). I have to say it's a lot more comfortable than my old crap runners, now my calves and to a lesser degree my shins are a bit sore after a run, rather than getting hip and ankle pain like I was. Running is a lot easier as well. I generally run 3 times a week at the moment, two 6km runs (36 mins each) and a 3 km run (about 15 mins). Working my way up to 10km in an hour.
I know minimalist running is all the rage here but for someone doing so little mileage is it really necessary, I really like my soft squishy shoes.
Do the calf and shin soreness indicate any particular problem with my running style, it feels like DOMS more than anything just being careful.
I try and think about heel striking when I'm running but it's hard to really know if I'm doing that, do you need a video of me running to know for sure?
I also ride my bike about 20 km's a day as well (to work and back), and do body weight exercises so my muscles usually feel a tiny bit stiff all over most of the time. Calf and shins soreness I can directly attribute to running though. | geez sorry for the wall of text, questions are the last 4 little bits, just read that and ignore the rest |
t3_2ku25w | relationships | Me [16M] has a crush on a girl [16F] that I know and talk frequently to for 1 year, I recently discovered that she's homossexual, any tips on how to get over it? | So, I know this girl for 1 year, we talk very frequently with each other. Mostly because we have really good synergy talking to each other, like, we are really good friends for now. But recently (yesterday in fact) I discovered that she's a lesbian, and she does have a girlfriend. This got me really shocked, I don't have any problems with it, but I was shocked because she didn't showed any sign of uninterest in males this whole 1 year, and she's probably the female that I most talk to.
So, because I know that, and discovered that she also has a girlfriend, what are the best ways of getting over it? I'm asking this because If I try to have the objective of making her fall in love with me, It's setting up for disappointment, and how can I still be friends with her without any romantic feelings? I had for a long time already those romantic feelings, but I don't know, I don't think I would be able to be a good friend as I am right now without those.
Also, I'm not sure which flair would fit this situation, so, my bad if it's on the wrong flair. | Has a crush on a girl for 1 year, discovered that she's homossexual and also has a girlfriend, any tips on how to get over it and maintaining a good friendship without romantic feelings fucking it up? |
t3_3fbo9q | tifu | TIFU by surprising a girl I like but ended up in sadness and bad luck. | So this is happened just an few hours ago. I am seeing this girl that I really really like and planned to surprise her by waiting for her in our common place (which is where she pass by when going home, also note that I already did this before but I waited right outside her office building,). A text earlier by her told me that she's still in the office because of some problems occur on her work so I decided to not call and just text. I bought some food and drinks because I know that she's pretty exhausted(she did like 3-4 hours of overtime this week including this day). About 3 hours later of waiting(12:30am), drinking some coffee to keep me awake in some fastfood chain, she finally texted, that she's already home, then immediately texted again to tell me goodnight.
So there I was, regretting that I didn't call for the duration of waiting, feeling drained and disappointed in myself, my excitement of seeing her turned to sadness.
And while going home, the public vehicle that I'm in crashed to another car, me and other commuters go find another one to ride in while feeling weary. Atleast I got to eat the food that I bought for her though. | I planned to surprise the girl I'm seeing and after waiting for hours I ended up missed her and already home. Got crashed while going home. Teary eyes. |
t3_4uv30f | relationships | I [29 M] want to propose to my girlfriend [28 F] of 4 years, might have talked too much. | My girlfriend is expecting me to propose, I bought the ring in her size and everything. It's beautiful, and I'm excited. But I think I talked to much about HOW I intended to pop the question to friends/family.
I spoke to one of her sisters, her dad, and one of her friends (mutual friend of ours) about doing something extravagant for the proposal itself (costing an extra like $700). However, we have a lot of stuff booked this whole summer and I don't think I can afford it.
I want to propose another way, but I don't know if the original plan secretly got back to her, and if I propose another way, will it let her down? The proposal is supposed to be a happy, awesome
memory, and I don't want it clouded with some disappointment.
Has anyone been in this situation before? Should I ask the people I told if they spoke to her about it? | Talked big about an extravagant proposal, now can't follow through, not sure if the original plan got back to the bride-to-be and don't want to disappoint her. |
t3_3u0jx0 | relationships | How do I (24f) tell my co-worker (32f) that her feet STINK? | Ok, I worked at a community mental health center as a therapist. I teach people effective communication every day, so I should be able to do this, but I'm at a loss on how to approach it. One of my coworkers has this habit (which I HATE) of taking her shoes off every time she sits down. Her feet, to put it nicely, have an unpleasant odor that fills the whole room within minutes of her shoe removal. At first I thought it was just me being sensitive, however, other co-workers have mentioned noticing it too. I work with this particular co-worker every day, and once per week, we do group counseling with clients together. Even clients have mentioned "something smells in here" and it's SO embarrassing. I'm not sure if she realizes that it's her taking her shoes off causing the odor.
So, how would you go about mentioning this? Or would you mention it at all? We are equals at our workplace, so it's not like I'm a boss talking down to her, and I definitely don't want to make her feel bad or embarrass her. However, it's to the point where others are mentioning it and it's starting to hinder our productivity. Suggestions? | Coworker keeps removing her shoes and her feet smell. Clients and other coworkers notice. How do we tell her? |
t3_1jl6is | relationships | My gf [20f] cheated on me [21m], claims it wasnt her fault because she was drunk | We've been together 8 months. Ive pieced this story together from her, her friends and the guy she cheated on me with. This is what happened: Gf gets pissed at me for not coming out to a club with her and her friends. Gets SUPER drunk, to the point where she passes out for a half hour inside the club. While there, she grinds and makes out with a guy.
What follows is: jumps into the same cab as the guy + his friends. He takes her upstairs (she can walk by herself) and lays down in the guest bed. She "passes out". He lays next to her and she wakes up. She asks the guy for sex, for about 10 minutes. He refuses as he has no protection. She asks him to finger her. She takes her pants/panties off voluntarily. Finally, they start making out + he fingers her, but no sex. She was coherent, eyes open, speaking fairly clearly but in fragments and kept asking him to fuck her.
She claims she was so wasted that it wasnt her fault and that he took advantage of her. I know people react differently to alcohol, so id like your opinion on this, as terrible as this whole thing sounds, should I forgive her? She says she doesnt remember large parts of what happened (the guy filled in a lot of it) It took her 2 months to admit to this, and she lied about what really happened until I drilled her for a bit. | Gf almost had sex with someone, claims it wasnt intentional as she was so drunk, wondering if what she says its true |
t3_hjzwh | AskReddit | Should I kick my bosses ass!? | Redditors, I come to you posing a question of grave importance (to me and my career)!
My boss has invited me to go golfing and play some tennis with him this Friday. I've already agreed to go, so my question is:
* Should I kick his ass in both of these sports to seem competent?
* Should I play down to his level as to seem respectful and or even with him?
* Or let him kick my ass so he feels good about himself?
The reason i say this is because, i have been playing golf for 5 years, and i played in college. I average around a 78-84 depending on the course. Tennis, I am actually a registered Professional (USPTA certified teacher) and am quite confident in myself in the sport. | I am a tennis pro and almost a scratch (hits par on the course) golfer, should I beat the shit out of my boss or let him win? |
t3_3gf7n8 | relationships | My [22 F] boyfriend [26 M] of just over a year doesn't post pictures of us on social media | Over the past year, my boyfriend and I have gone from a long distance relationship over 10 months, to living together since May. Our current living situation is temporary as I move home at the end of the month. Today, we got in a fight about how he doesn't post any pictures of us on Facebook and I'm looking for some guidance.
I have found him with Tinder on his phone 4 times in the last year. I have looked in the app and know that he wasn't talking to anyone when he had it on his phone which is the one reason we are still together. It's obviously a sore subject for me, as he never really gives a reason as to why he downloads that app besides it being a confidence booster for him when he sees who likes his profile.
Since moving in with him, he hasn't posted any pictures of us together on Facebook. Now this wouldn't normally bother me in any other situation, but it bothered me because in the back of my mind, I wonder if he doesn't want pictures just in case some girl from Tinder sees his Facebook and sees that he has a girlfriend. I know this sounds horrible, but is it justified? I know he isn't up to anything now, but it just started bothering me today.
When I asked him why, he got mad at me and told me he "just isn't that type of guy" and also said we don't have any pictures together he actually likes. The strong reaction to my questioning him also made me feel awful. What should I do?? | My boyfriend has been caught with Tinder on his phone and also doesn't post pictures of us on Facebook, should this bother me? |
t3_2f6720 | relationships | My boyfriend [17M] wants to break up with me [17F] after 2 years, and I'm terrified. | I have some psychological problems (a big part of that is abandonment issues) that I've been dealing with for a long time, and when I finally started making progress and getting better, he says he might want to break up for the 4th time in our relationship.
The other times were because I wasn't getting much better and I was treating him badly, but we never broke up because we always felt we fit so well together. We have so much in common and we have all the same plans for the future and the same views.
I love him so much and I really feel like we could spend our lives together.
But after saying he was thinking of leaving me, a day later he said he decided to stay with me. But then last night, another day later, he called me late at night acting all weird, not saying very much at all and then saying that he didn't like the way he was feeling and that he wanted to talk to me in person the next weekend (he lives an hour away so we only see each other on Saturdays) about something.
He wouldn't tell me anything else, like what he wanted to talk about, or if he was breaking up with me or not. When I said, "you're breaking up with me, aren't you?" he'd respond with "you don't know that for sure."
I'm terrified of him leaving me, I feel sick and I can't eat.
Do you think he's planning to break up with me, and if so, what can I do to convince him to stay? Or how can I move on from him, since he's become my best friend and we're closer than I've ever been with anyone before? | How can I convince my boyfriend of 2 years (who's probably going to break up with me this weekend) to stay with me? |
t3_egw0j | AskReddit | That one time you didn't take precautions... | and the worst possible thing happens :/
Story:
So usually when I buy something expensive like a computer or something breakable like glasses or a cell phone, I buy the extended warranty and etc with it as well. However, I never actually needed the extra coverage ever and started to see it as a waste of money.
So last weekend I wanted to get a new ipod (don't have a multimedia player) and so browse through the selections and get the new 32gig ipod touch. I bought a screen protector and a cheapo rubberized back cover but since I never needed the warranty before on any other thing, I decide to skip the applecare and everything to save $50 or so. As I'm walking out of the store trying to put the back cover on, I trip, the ipod goes flying, hits the railing, and falls down two floors on the mall and shatters on the shoppers below. :[ Thankfully the Apple store decided to replace it and I'm now waiting for a new touch to arrive. | Always bought warranty before; first time I didn't buy, I dropped my ipod down two floors of a shopping mall minutes after buying. |
t3_2gfw9m | dogs | Picked up a stray, already have a dog | Hey everyone, just wondering for those who have had to integrate a new dog with their original dog how long it takes for the jealousy to stop, and any tips you have in helping them get along better.
The new dog seems to be a corgi-golden retriever mix (nerd me calls it a golgi), she was recently abandoned and possibly gave birth at some point. She is by far the uh... "sweeter" dog, and by that I mean in comparison to my JRT she's as smart as a bag of rocks.
My JRT is spending 80% of the time thinking about the new dog and what it means that she's in the house; there's been no battle for alpha dog (I am master of the house), BUT, they did initially have a bit of jealousy (growling) and still have some (no growling, but trying to intervene) over who my wife is giving attention to (even when it's both at the same time). If she is not home, the dogs behave fine and just curl up at my sides. But my JRT does look depressed/moody when we're at home and the Golgi is around.
Currently (it's been 2 days) at night, I kennel the Golgi (and actually she seems to really like the kennel so I may continue doing this). I put away all the toys and bones so there's nothing to compete over. They have not yet been left alone together (but we're not worried about them fighting, they both are very gentle). | I had 1 dog, a JRT, well-behaved, now I have 2, the other a corgi-golden mix; how long for the jealousy to subside? |
t3_1kp72p | pettyrevenge | Want to tell lies about my brother and mom? Go ahead, I'll just break more of your precious plates. | My grandma went to Mexico for a little while, and then she started telling lies about my brother and mom.
She had said my mom was irresponsible and she was a drunk, which she didn't. If she did a have a drink, she would only have one little can of beer since she had me, my sisters, and my brother. To top it off, my grandma ALSO said my brother had down-syndrome just because he had to stay at the hospital for a bit, because he was born a month early. And he didn't have down-syndrome so it was a total lie. Mostly, you could tell by their face if they have a disorder or something, but my brother had the look I had when I was a baby.
My grandma came home and she brought some expensive plates from Mexico and said she loved those plates and that they were precious than humans (crazzyyy!). A day after my grandma comes, my cousin and I were there because we had to unpack her things for her. Now, my cousin doesn't like my grandma because they never had that kind of bond. Besides, my grandma is a bit self-conceited.
"Do you dare me to break one of these plates?" My cousin asked me with the plate in her hand, the plate five feet away from the floor.
"Dare ya, shes not home anyways. Besides, she told everyone here and Mexico a lie about Eli (brother) and my mom," I said. She dropped the plate while smiling. The glass went everywhere.
We continued to unpack and then we ran outta there before my grandma returned. The next day, we were accused for something we did do.
"Did you guys break my precious, precious plate?! Why did you guys do this?!" she yelled at us, grabbing all the attention from everybody.
"WE DIDN'T DO IT!" We both said it at the same time, with a blank face.
"Oh okay!" she said.
We both smiled and then watched TV. More lies she tells, more plates break. Besides, she has about 100 plates. | Grandma tells lie to everyone about mom and my brother, so my cousin and I break one of her precious plates. |
t3_49yafw | relationships | I [26M] can't break up with my girlfriend [24F] | I tried writing out a long version of this three times now and I keep getting caught up in unimportant details so I'll keep it super brief.
My girlfriend of three years is an amazing human, I love her a lot, she loves me even more. With the way she looks at me I can tell I'm her entire world.
The thing is I've been wanting to break up with her for quite a while now... But I can't bring myself to do it because:
A) Even though I think I need to break it off to pursue what I truly want out of my life, I can't stand the idea of hurting her. I really do care for her and just thinking about breaking up hurts my heart.
B) Every time I've tried to work up the nerve to do it I feel like it's not the right time. Like "Oh her birthday is coming up soon" stuff like that... This has been going on for a year and a half.
C) I really don't know what she'll do without me... She doesn't have a lot of friends. As in the only people she really hangs out with are me and my friends. | Want to break up with girlfriend, but don't want to hurt her because despite not wanting to be in a relationship anymore I really do still love her. |
t3_rckt7 | AskReddit | Is it normal for a high level coroporte boss to add me to a social network with a fake name 30 min after I complain at their big chain hotel? | Weird night for me for sure. 'Me and the girlfriend drove to San Francisco this weekend and ended up staying at a big chain hotel on union square. We complain that our neighbors are being way too loud at midnight (having a party in room) and i get a request for windows live (don't use it but its my only public shared social networking account) from a jenny gibson. In the subject is the email the request was sent from and the names don't match. I google both names and find out that the name associated with the email belongs to a high level person who works for Columbia sussex which is the corporation which owns the hotel i am staying at. I search for 2 seconds more and find her facebook and now know everything about her from where she graduated highschool to her dogs name. Anyone working in hotel hostpitality know if this is normal and what she is trying to accomplish by doing this? Thanks. | Complain at hotel. Get friend request from high level person at corp who owns hotel using fake name but real name in email. Search on google for 20 min and find out everthing about person. |
t3_2uqgw4 | relationship_advice | [22/m] I may have found the perfect girl for me[20/f]! Only problem is, I already have a girlfriend [20/f]. | I don't know what to do! I've been with my girlfriend off and on for the past 3 years. It's ben a long distance relationship for the past year and a half when i left for school which has been really hard for both of us. we broke up for about a week in september but we patch things up and have been doing really well since then. The other day, I met this girl who just really, really gets me in a way i don't think my current gf ever will. We've been texting pretty much nonstop and flirting a fair amount (she doesn't know i have a gf) and she seems pretty into me. We haven't "done anything" yet and i don't want to be a cheater so its seems that if I want to see where this thing can go, I'll have to break up with my gf. I still care a lot about my gf, though, and i really don't want to hurt her. I've never dumped anyone before, i've always been the dumpee so i'm kind of in uncharted waters right now. How can i break things off? should i do it in person, or over the phone? Am I making a huge mistake? Help! | been with a girl for 3 years, met a new girl who seems to be a better fit. inexperienced in the ways of dumping, need help. |
t3_2thznd | relationships | How do I [25, f] go about keeping a relationship [27, m] on the DL in the workplace? | So... Long story short I began seeing a guy from work about a month or so ago... We work in education and I'm slightly more senior than he is... Either way we want to keep the whole thing quiet just to avoid drama.
We did a fantastic job of this last weekend by both getting paralytic at a work do and being caught all over each other... Smh
So after denying it vehemently and blah blah blah it died down... But obviously we're going to go to to these kind of things again and genuinely in trying to to figure out a way of being able to cope with not being able to be affectionate with him when I'm with him.
It's something that I'm struggling with because we're usually so conscious of it at work that we don't even really speak to each other in the work place to avoid suspicion, because we done fucked up and people are suspecting things.
I find this so hard because we already share quite a lot and it's quite an intense relationship when we can actually be together, so the contrast can be a little hard for me to cope with...
I don't want to deal with all the chat about it... So I need to be able to cope with being a bit distant around him in front of colleagues, is there anyone who's going through this who can suggest how to stop acting like a dickhead?
Obviously not getting paralytic again is the first thing on my list! | Anyone with advice on how to cope with keeping a relationship secret at the workplace and avoiding letting it spill out into a drunken mess of situation would be appreciated! |