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895 | How does counseling end? | How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-counseling-end | professional-ethics | Toni Teixeira, LCSWYour road to healing begins here | https://counselchat.com/therapists/toni-teixeira-lcsw | Goodbyes can be hard.
Chances are most of the goodbyes you have experienced in your life have been
difficult. Saying goodbye to a therapist can be different. It can be an
opportunity to create a healthy ending in a positive relationship in your life.
If you work with a therapist who is skilled, then saying goodbye can be just as
transformative as the therapy itself. Ending therapy is also known
as “termination.” I know, “termination” doesn’t have a great ring to it!
However, it is what it is. It is an ending of the relationship as it existed.
It is reality cold and stark. Of course, when I talk to clients I don’t use the
word “termination,” I usually say “our goodbye.” Under what circumstances does therapy usually
end? Therapy should end when a client does not need further assistance, is not
receiving any benefit from therapy, or might be harmed by continuing to work
with a particular therapist.In the best case scenario
the decision to move on from therapy and “say our goodbyes” happens when both
the therapist and the client feel like the client is ready to move on and move
up! Ending the therapeutic relationship
should actually be worked on from the very first session. What I mean by that
is, there should be an understanding that the work we do together will have an
ending and that is a good thing because it means the client has gained the
skills to continue working on themselves independently. So the first session I
have with clients usually outlines a plan where the end goal is discussed and
we both have an understanding of the skills the client wants to learn or what
they hope to achieve. Now sometimes there are
situations where the therapist ends the relationship and the client may take
that personally, it is hard when any relationship ends and it might bring up
feelings of sadness, and fear or abandonment. Any good therapist will end the
relationship based on what is right for the client. What are some situations
where a therapist might end the relationship?If the situation the client
is dealing with is out of the therapist's scope of practice, the therapist may
end the relationship and refer the client to someone else. This is in the
client’s best interest. Another reason a therapist might end the relationship
is that the therapist is in a place in her life which prevents her from being
objective and helpful. A therapist who
is going through a painful divorce may have difficulty working with a couple
that considering divorce. A good therapist may see that their judgement may be
clouded and want to refer the client to see someone else. This is good practice
and helps the client.If a client is actively
suicidal or actively using substances then the therapist may end the
relationship and refer out for a higher level of care. The client may need to
be hospitalized or may need an inpatient substance abuse treatment program.
Therapy may be terminated while they are being treated and may continue after
the intensive program is completed.
Ending therapy should be a
time for connection and bringing together accomplishments, or reviewing the
next important step the client needs to take. It should not be an experience of
abandonment. A skilled therapist will help a client gain a new perspective on
closure. For some clients, it may be the one time in their lives when they get
a clean ending in a healthy relationship and they get to feel a sense of
control on creating that ending. Good luck to you! | 0 | 178 | <s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] Goodbyes can be hard.
Chances are most of the goodbyes you have experienced in your life have been
difficult. Saying goodbye to a therapist can be different. It can be an
opportunity to create a healthy ending in a positive relationship in your life.
If you work with a therapist who is skilled, then saying goodbye can be just as
transformative as the therapy itself. Ending therapy is also known
as “termination.” I know, “termination” doesn’t have a great ring to it!
However, it is what it is. It is an ending of the relationship as it existed.
It is reality cold and stark. Of course, when I talk to clients I don’t use the
word “termination,” I usually say “our goodbye.” Under what circumstances does therapy usually
end? Therapy should end when a client does not need further assistance, is not
receiving any benefit from therapy, or might be harmed by continuing to work
with a particular therapist.In the best case scenario
the decision to move on from therapy and “say our goodbyes” happens when both
the therapist and the client feel like the client is ready to move on and move
up! Ending the therapeutic relationship
should actually be worked on from the very first session. What I mean by that
is, there should be an understanding that the work we do together will have an
ending and that is a good thing because it means the client has gained the
skills to continue working on themselves independently. So the first session I
have with clients usually outlines a plan where the end goal is discussed and
we both have an understanding of the skills the client wants to learn or what
they hope to achieve. Now sometimes there are
situations where the therapist ends the relationship and the client may take
that personally, it is hard when any relationship ends and it might bring up
feelings of sadness, and fear or abandonment. Any good therapist will end the
relationship based on what is right for the client. What are some situations
where a therapist might end the relationship?If the situation the client
is dealing with is out of the therapist's scope of practice, the therapist may
end the relationship and refer the client to someone else. This is in the
client’s best interest. Another reason a therapist might end the relationship
is that the therapist is in a place in her life which prevents her from being
objective and helpful. A therapist who
is going through a painful divorce may have difficulty working with a couple
that considering divorce. A good therapist may see that their judgement may be
clouded and want to refer the client to see someone else. This is good practice
and helps the client.If a client is actively
suicidal or actively using substances then the therapist may end the
relationship and refer out for a higher level of care. The client may need to
be hospitalized or may need an inpatient substance abuse treatment program.
Therapy may be terminated while they are being treated and may continue after
the intensive program is completed.
Ending therapy should be a
time for connection and bringing together accomplishments, or reviewing the
next important step the client needs to take. It should not be an experience of
abandonment. A skilled therapist will help a client gain a new perspective on
closure. For some clients, it may be the one time in their lives when they get
a clean ending in a healthy relationship and they get to feel a sense of
control on creating that ending. Good luck to you! </s> |
895 | How does counseling end? | How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-counseling-end | professional-ethics | Dr. Bonnie HowellNow in St. Petersburg, Fl | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-bonnie-howell | In the best case scenario, it's a mutual discussion and decision. If not, I've had the discussion initiated both ways, by me, when I sense the client has gone has far as they want, by lack of interest in accepting or completing homework assignments, missing or cancelling appointments, usually at the last minute, lack of participation during sessions. Client initiates by asking me pointed questions about why the need for homework assignments,, by forgetting their calendar, or their checkbook :) , by suggesting that we make appointments over longer intervals (once a week to once a month, for example). I rarely have had to terminate a working relationship--that's why I don't charge for the first visit, so we know if we are a good fit before we start working together. Then I periodically ask whether the client feels we are making progress, moving in the right direction, talking about the most relevant issues etc. | 0 | 241 | <s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] In the best case scenario, it's a mutual discussion and decision. If not, I've had the discussion initiated both ways, by me, when I sense the client has gone has far as they want, by lack of interest in accepting or completing homework assignments, missing or cancelling appointments, usually at the last minute, lack of participation during sessions. Client initiates by asking me pointed questions about why the need for homework assignments,, by forgetting their calendar, or their checkbook :) , by suggesting that we make appointments over longer intervals (once a week to once a month, for example). I rarely have had to terminate a working relationship--that's why I don't charge for the first visit, so we know if we are a good fit before we start working together. Then I periodically ask whether the client feels we are making progress, moving in the right direction, talking about the most relevant issues etc. </s> |
895 | How does counseling end? | How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-counseling-end | professional-ethics | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | In my therapy practice the decision to end therapy is mutually made together with the patient.Otherwise, the person can end up with a sense of tremendous rejection and abandonment.The way you'll both know therapy is coming to a close is that the discussion will feel lighter and move easily.The person's mood will be better, they will smile more, sit in their seat in a more relaxed way, look more at ease, take better care of their appearance.One of the ways to end therapy is to gradually decrease the frequency of the sessions.Sometimes people who are in my practice start to come each three weeks, then monthly, then every three months.This gives a sense of security, friendliness, and casualness to the therapy, and de-medicalizes it as though the person was treated for a medical symptom and the symptom stops completely one day.Talk therapy is about life and life problems usually end gradually.I end my therapy in a way which mirrors the life process in which many interaction and situation problems show their effects gradually and show different effects over time. | 0 | 60 | <s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] In my therapy practice the decision to end therapy is mutually made together with the patient.Otherwise, the person can end up with a sense of tremendous rejection and abandonment.The way you'll both know therapy is coming to a close is that the discussion will feel lighter and move easily.The person's mood will be better, they will smile more, sit in their seat in a more relaxed way, look more at ease, take better care of their appearance.One of the ways to end therapy is to gradually decrease the frequency of the sessions.Sometimes people who are in my practice start to come each three weeks, then monthly, then every three months.This gives a sense of security, friendliness, and casualness to the therapy, and de-medicalizes it as though the person was treated for a medical symptom and the symptom stops completely one day.Talk therapy is about life and life problems usually end gradually.I end my therapy in a way which mirrors the life process in which many interaction and situation problems show their effects gradually and show different effects over time. </s> |
895 | How does counseling end? | How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-counseling-end | professional-ethics | Cimberly R. NeskerRegistered Psychotherapist (3579) | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cimberly-r-nesker | Hi there, There are a number of reasons why a therapeutic relationship might end including, but not limited to the client reaching their goals, the client reaching a place of acceptance where they wish to remain or even a breach within the relationship. The last aspect should likely be taken to supervision in order to be fully processed. All of these things could happen, and usually happen organically (again, except for the last example). Your question, however, was about the counselor ending treatment. This is a bit more difficult and can be very nerve-wracking. It may be beneficial to take this with you to supervision, as well. It's important to understand why you feel the need to end or terminate with the client, as well. Do you feel that they would be better suited for another therapist, have they achieved their goals or is it something else?In regular, open-ended sessions, I try to make a point of checking in with the clients fairly frequently. In these check-ins, I use the time to ask the client how they feel about the sessions and if there is anything they wish to focus on more astutely. I also ask if they have any immediate goals that they would like to prioritize. In goal-oriented sessions, I check in more frequently to ensure that both the client and I remain focused and, should they wish to shift their focus, that they recognize it is part of my responsibilities to make sure we move back to the desired goal. Often, especially in longer term therapeutic relationships, we as clinicians can see that the client has reached their goal, however they are apprehensive about ending therapy. This is actually a great place to go with them; why would they feel unable to handle issues in their external or internal environment without you? Often, having this open discussion can increase empowerment and mastery. That said, it could also highlight other issues which the client may have been apprehensive about going into within therapy and now, as the relationship seems to be ending, feels more confident in bringing these up. In the case where the relationship is a toxic one, terminating with a client may be the best option for both of you. It's a difficult conversation, but recall that part of the role of the therapist is to model that these discomforts can be managed. I hope that this brief response can assist you going forward! | 0 | 123 | <s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] Hi there, There are a number of reasons why a therapeutic relationship might end including, but not limited to the client reaching their goals, the client reaching a place of acceptance where they wish to remain or even a breach within the relationship. The last aspect should likely be taken to supervision in order to be fully processed. All of these things could happen, and usually happen organically (again, except for the last example). Your question, however, was about the counselor ending treatment. This is a bit more difficult and can be very nerve-wracking. It may be beneficial to take this with you to supervision, as well. It's important to understand why you feel the need to end or terminate with the client, as well. Do you feel that they would be better suited for another therapist, have they achieved their goals or is it something else?In regular, open-ended sessions, I try to make a point of checking in with the clients fairly frequently. In these check-ins, I use the time to ask the client how they feel about the sessions and if there is anything they wish to focus on more astutely. I also ask if they have any immediate goals that they would like to prioritize. In goal-oriented sessions, I check in more frequently to ensure that both the client and I remain focused and, should they wish to shift their focus, that they recognize it is part of my responsibilities to make sure we move back to the desired goal. Often, especially in longer term therapeutic relationships, we as clinicians can see that the client has reached their goal, however they are apprehensive about ending therapy. This is actually a great place to go with them; why would they feel unable to handle issues in their external or internal environment without you? Often, having this open discussion can increase empowerment and mastery. That said, it could also highlight other issues which the client may have been apprehensive about going into within therapy and now, as the relationship seems to be ending, feels more confident in bringing these up. In the case where the relationship is a toxic one, terminating with a client may be the best option for both of you. It's a difficult conversation, but recall that part of the role of the therapist is to model that these discomforts can be managed. I hope that this brief response can assist you going forward! </s> |
895 | How does counseling end? | How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-counseling-end | professional-ethics | Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals | https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch | This is a question that is very specific to each person. There are definitely some variables, but I can give you some general ideas for when counseling might end:When a client has met all of their goals, at least to a degree when they feel that they no longer need to work on them with the assistance of a counselorSometimes a decision is made that a client is no longer benefiting from counseling at a certain timeSometimes clients have to remain in counseling in order to receive medication. This depends on agency policy, but sometimes it is a requirement. If the medication is necessary and cannot be prescribed by a primary care physician, frequency of sessions is usually decreased greatlyI'm not sure why you are asking this question, but it is also something that is often discussed at the beginning of treatment. Oftentimes "discharge goals" change as treatment progresses because more is known about clients, their goals, changes in their goals, and many other things. Changes are normal, but your counselor probably has discharge goals in mind, at least generally, from the beginning. I strongly encourage you to ask about it! | 0 | 218 | <s>[INST] How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? [/INST] This is a question that is very specific to each person. There are definitely some variables, but I can give you some general ideas for when counseling might end:When a client has met all of their goals, at least to a degree when they feel that they no longer need to work on them with the assistance of a counselorSometimes a decision is made that a client is no longer benefiting from counseling at a certain timeSometimes clients have to remain in counseling in order to receive medication. This depends on agency policy, but sometimes it is a requirement. If the medication is necessary and cannot be prescribed by a primary care physician, frequency of sessions is usually decreased greatlyI'm not sure why you are asking this question, but it is also something that is often discussed at the beginning of treatment. Oftentimes "discharge goals" change as treatment progresses because more is known about clients, their goals, changes in their goals, and many other things. Changes are normal, but your counselor probably has discharge goals in mind, at least generally, from the beginning. I strongly encourage you to ask about it! </s> |
896 | My therapist betrayed my trust | My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-therapist-betrayed-my-trust | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | I'm sorry to hear that this has happened. Counselors are legally and ethically required to make sure that they always put the wellbeing of their clients above their own interests. In addition, counselor ethical rules, and the laws in just about every state, make it illegal for counselors to take advantage of a client financially. A counselor borrowing money from a client (even if the counselor pays it back) would usually be considered to be taking advantage of the client.There are a few options you have at this point if you can't (or don't want) to continue to try to contact him directly. You can file a complaint with your states' regulatory board and let them know what has happened. An investigator will then look into the situation for you. Another option would be for you to find a different counsleor who can provide you with an independent and netural point of view to help you figure out how you want to handle this situation. | 2 | 632 | <s>[INST] My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. [/INST] I'm sorry to hear that this has happened. Counselors are legally and ethically required to make sure that they always put the wellbeing of their clients above their own interests. In addition, counselor ethical rules, and the laws in just about every state, make it illegal for counselors to take advantage of a client financially. A counselor borrowing money from a client (even if the counselor pays it back) would usually be considered to be taking advantage of the client.There are a few options you have at this point if you can't (or don't want) to continue to try to contact him directly. You can file a complaint with your states' regulatory board and let them know what has happened. An investigator will then look into the situation for you. Another option would be for you to find a different counsleor who can provide you with an independent and netural point of view to help you figure out how you want to handle this situation. </s> |
896 | My therapist betrayed my trust | My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-therapist-betrayed-my-trust | professional-ethics | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Do you want this therapist to have your credit card information?If not, then cancel the credit cards that you believe may now be accessible to this therapist.Therapists are expected to keep very clear boundaries between the therapy work and not have other relationships, such as "friend" or "money lender" with someone who is their patient.Therapists are never "friends" with their patients.Letting you believe that you are the therapist's friend, is a violation of professional ethics and almost definitely, a violation of the Consumer Protection laws in your State.Start by dropping this person as your therapist. He has broken too many ethical standards to be worthy of offering therapy.Think over if you'd like remaining friends with this person, whom you describe as lacking integrity and stealing from you.If you need help getting back money from him, then contact the police and talk to a detective about what has happened so far. The detective will advise according to the laws in your community and State, whether to file a police report, and what steps are necessary to utilize the Court system to get back your funds.If you'd like doing future patients who may be treated to similar ways by this therapist, a favor, go online and file a complaint with the therapist's Licensing Board.Good luck! | 2 | 343 | <s>[INST] My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. [/INST] Do you want this therapist to have your credit card information?If not, then cancel the credit cards that you believe may now be accessible to this therapist.Therapists are expected to keep very clear boundaries between the therapy work and not have other relationships, such as "friend" or "money lender" with someone who is their patient.Therapists are never "friends" with their patients.Letting you believe that you are the therapist's friend, is a violation of professional ethics and almost definitely, a violation of the Consumer Protection laws in your State.Start by dropping this person as your therapist. He has broken too many ethical standards to be worthy of offering therapy.Think over if you'd like remaining friends with this person, whom you describe as lacking integrity and stealing from you.If you need help getting back money from him, then contact the police and talk to a detective about what has happened so far. The detective will advise according to the laws in your community and State, whether to file a police report, and what steps are necessary to utilize the Court system to get back your funds.If you'd like doing future patients who may be treated to similar ways by this therapist, a favor, go online and file a complaint with the therapist's Licensing Board.Good luck! </s> |
896 | My therapist betrayed my trust | My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-therapist-betrayed-my-trust | professional-ethics | Meg McKeon | https://counselchat.com/therapists/meg-mckeon-2 | Therapists, regardless of the discipline (i.e. licensed professional counselor, social worker, psychologist) are expected to put the health and well-being of the client first. Each professional discipline does have a code of ethics as well as a licensing board in each state. In order to get licensed the therapist must agree to abide by the highest standards of conduct including state, local and federal regulations in addition to the code of conduct. You do have the option of reporting this person to the appropriate licencing board in your state. The other concern is if this person has unauthorized access to your credit card. If you did not give it to him or authorize use this becomes a legal matter that you can also report to the legal authorities in your city or town. Therapy and counseling are effective because professionals gain the trust of the client. Betrayal of that trust by crossing boundaries and developing a relationship outside the therapist/client relationship is hurtful. Please know that the vast majority of counselors are highly ethical individuals who put the welfare of the client first. | 0 | 175 | <s>[INST] My therapist is gay so there are no sexual issues here. However, my therapist for six years has made me believe that he cares about me and that we are friends. I have loaned money to him many times, and he always paid me back.
I had a medical emergency last weekend and I was heavily medicated. I knew that this therapist came into my home and wrote down my credit card information so he could pay back what he owed me, but this therapist dropped me off and never came again. I don't know what to do. [/INST] Therapists, regardless of the discipline (i.e. licensed professional counselor, social worker, psychologist) are expected to put the health and well-being of the client first. Each professional discipline does have a code of ethics as well as a licensing board in each state. In order to get licensed the therapist must agree to abide by the highest standards of conduct including state, local and federal regulations in addition to the code of conduct. You do have the option of reporting this person to the appropriate licencing board in your state. The other concern is if this person has unauthorized access to your credit card. If you did not give it to him or authorize use this becomes a legal matter that you can also report to the legal authorities in your city or town. Therapy and counseling are effective because professionals gain the trust of the client. Betrayal of that trust by crossing boundaries and developing a relationship outside the therapist/client relationship is hurtful. Please know that the vast majority of counselors are highly ethical individuals who put the welfare of the client first. </s> |
897 | I'm in high school, and I want to be a psychologist | I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-in-high-school-and-i-want-to-be-a-psychologist | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | It's a great idea for you to reach out to find a psychologist to talk to if this is a field you might be interested in pursuing. Regarding the length of schooling, it generally takes 4 years of college and an additional 4 to 7 years of graduate school to earn a doctorate degree to become a psychologist. There are also other similar professions, including counseling that don't require a doctorate degree. Licensed counselors generally completed 4 years of college and an additional 2 years of graduate school. If you are thinking about a career in psychology, the local APA chapter would be a good place to start to find a local psychologist to talk to. Here's a link to the NJ APA chapter:https://www.psychologynj.org/ | 3 | 865 | <s>[INST] I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school. [/INST] It's a great idea for you to reach out to find a psychologist to talk to if this is a field you might be interested in pursuing. Regarding the length of schooling, it generally takes 4 years of college and an additional 4 to 7 years of graduate school to earn a doctorate degree to become a psychologist. There are also other similar professions, including counseling that don't require a doctorate degree. Licensed counselors generally completed 4 years of college and an additional 2 years of graduate school. If you are thinking about a career in psychology, the local APA chapter would be a good place to start to find a local psychologist to talk to. Here's a link to the NJ APA chapter:https://www.psychologynj.org/ </s> |
897 | I'm in high school, and I want to be a psychologist | I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school. | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-m-in-high-school-and-i-want-to-be-a-psychologist | professional-ethics | Samantha OsborneEncouraging and Compassionate | https://counselchat.com/therapists/samantha-osborne | Mental Health is an exciting and rewarding field. I hear you saying that you want to be a psychologist, and that is one path to working in mental health. You could study psychology, social work or counseling to become a practicing therapist. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate and a Licensed Clinical Addiction Specialist. I currently provide assessments and supervise several counselors in a large clinic in Asheville. I also have a private practice online. I studied Sociology and Interpersonal Communication as an undergraduate, and then I received a counseling masters degree. My master's degree was comprised of several supervised practice courses and theory courses. I really enjoyed my education, and I find my career equally rewarding and enjoyable. If you are considering working in the field, I recommend emailing several counselors, social workers, and psychologists in your area and setting up an informational interview. Not everyone you contact will be willing to give you their time, but many may. This will help you determine which path to therapy may be right for you. Licensing restrictions and abilities vary state to state and a local practitioner may be able to provide you with a specific list of challenges/triumphs about their particular license and education. Psychologists are usually PhD level practitioners and require more education to begin. LCSWs , LPCs and LMFTS can practice with a master's degree. Best of luck! This is an exciting time. | 0 | 178 | <s>[INST] I just wanted to get to know one so I can hear about their college experience and the courses they took. I also wanted to know if they enjoy their job and how long they were in school. [/INST] Mental Health is an exciting and rewarding field. I hear you saying that you want to be a psychologist, and that is one path to working in mental health. You could study psychology, social work or counseling to become a practicing therapist. I am a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate and a Licensed Clinical Addiction Specialist. I currently provide assessments and supervise several counselors in a large clinic in Asheville. I also have a private practice online. I studied Sociology and Interpersonal Communication as an undergraduate, and then I received a counseling masters degree. My master's degree was comprised of several supervised practice courses and theory courses. I really enjoyed my education, and I find my career equally rewarding and enjoyable. If you are considering working in the field, I recommend emailing several counselors, social workers, and psychologists in your area and setting up an informational interview. Not everyone you contact will be willing to give you their time, but many may. This will help you determine which path to therapy may be right for you. Licensing restrictions and abilities vary state to state and a local practitioner may be able to provide you with a specific list of challenges/triumphs about their particular license and education. Psychologists are usually PhD level practitioners and require more education to begin. LCSWs , LPCs and LMFTS can practice with a master's degree. Best of luck! This is an exciting time. </s> |
898 | Is it appropriate to give my counselor a bottle of wine for Christmas? | I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-appropriate-to-give-my-counselor-a-bottle-of-wine-for-christmas | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | This is a great question. In general it is not appropriate for counselors to accept gifts from their clients. There are some exceptions to this general rule - including a recognition that there may be a valid cultural aspect to this type of gift giving.It might be best to simply offer your counselor a holiday card as an expression of your feelings. You could also talk to your counselor about the gift and ask if him it if would be appropriate.In the end, I know he would most appreciate just knowing how much the counseling meant to you. | 3 | 316 | <s>[INST] I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? [/INST] This is a great question. In general it is not appropriate for counselors to accept gifts from their clients. There are some exceptions to this general rule - including a recognition that there may be a valid cultural aspect to this type of gift giving.It might be best to simply offer your counselor a holiday card as an expression of your feelings. You could also talk to your counselor about the gift and ask if him it if would be appropriate.In the end, I know he would most appreciate just knowing how much the counseling meant to you. </s> |
898 | Is it appropriate to give my counselor a bottle of wine for Christmas? | I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-appropriate-to-give-my-counselor-a-bottle-of-wine-for-christmas | professional-ethics | Lola Georgwww.GeorgAssociates.com | https://counselchat.com/therapists/lola-georg | I don't think it's appropriate to give your counselor a bottle of wine. Your counselor helped you and supported you, which is great, But a gift is inappropriate. I can understand that you want to show your gratitude. There are many other ways to do that. You could drop your counselor a note or card, thank him in person, or tell him how much he helped you. These small gestures can be very meaningful for both of you. | 1 | 99 | <s>[INST] I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? [/INST] I don't think it's appropriate to give your counselor a bottle of wine. Your counselor helped you and supported you, which is great, But a gift is inappropriate. I can understand that you want to show your gratitude. There are many other ways to do that. You could drop your counselor a note or card, thank him in person, or tell him how much he helped you. These small gestures can be very meaningful for both of you. </s> |
898 | Is it appropriate to give my counselor a bottle of wine for Christmas? | I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-appropriate-to-give-my-counselor-a-bottle-of-wine-for-christmas | professional-ethics | Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | Hi, Different therapists are guided by the ethical guidelines of their own associations or colleges when it comes to receiving gifts, so this may differ a bit from therapist to therapist. It's important to me that I be sensitive to cultural norms, and to my client's needs. In Canada, and the US, it is customary for people to sometimes express gratitude with a small gift, and I have from time to time received small tokens of appreciation because I believe it would be rude to refuse this. It is never necessary to give a therapist a gift, but if you wish to express your gratitude in this way, I don't think it's inappropriate. | 1 | 188 | <s>[INST] I am an international student, and it is my first semester in graduate school in the United States. I faced a cultural shock, and I was so depressed when I arrived here. My counselor in the university was my savior. He helped me a great deal. Now I am going back to my country for a vacation. I was thinking to get him something special with my country's name on it, and I remembered that he likes wine. My country is known for that. Is it appropriate to give him wine as a gift after Christmas? [/INST] Hi, Different therapists are guided by the ethical guidelines of their own associations or colleges when it comes to receiving gifts, so this may differ a bit from therapist to therapist. It's important to me that I be sensitive to cultural norms, and to my client's needs. In Canada, and the US, it is customary for people to sometimes express gratitude with a small gift, and I have from time to time received small tokens of appreciation because I believe it would be rude to refuse this. It is never necessary to give a therapist a gift, but if you wish to express your gratitude in this way, I don't think it's inappropriate. </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | Nat RomanMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc RP | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nat-roman-toronto | Generally speaking therapists are obligated to help their clients connect with a new therapist should they require ongoing support and the therapist is no longer able to continue working with them. This may simply mean that the therapist provides some names and numbers for other therapists or agencies that may be appropriate for your child. If the therapist is leaving one practice for another and is able to continue seeing the client than that may be arranged and is often the most desired outcome for the sake continuity. Sometimes partners or employers in the original practice may expect and require clients of the practice to be transferred to another therapist within that practice instead of being taken to a new practice. | 0 | 266 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Generally speaking therapists are obligated to help their clients connect with a new therapist should they require ongoing support and the therapist is no longer able to continue working with them. This may simply mean that the therapist provides some names and numbers for other therapists or agencies that may be appropriate for your child. If the therapist is leaving one practice for another and is able to continue seeing the client than that may be arranged and is often the most desired outcome for the sake continuity. Sometimes partners or employers in the original practice may expect and require clients of the practice to be transferred to another therapist within that practice instead of being taken to a new practice. </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | David CranfordExpert in Psychological Testing & Therapy | https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-cranford | I would recommend other providers who accept your insurance. Once you choose, I would ask you to complete a release of information so I could discuss your child's case and send records so that the new therapist is aware of the general treatment issues. | 0 | 230 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] I would recommend other providers who accept your insurance. Once you choose, I would ask you to complete a release of information so I could discuss your child's case and send records so that the new therapist is aware of the general treatment issues. </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | Barika Grayson LMHC, NCCLicensed Mental Health Counselor www.counselflorida.com | https://counselchat.com/therapists/barika-grayson-lmhc-ncc | Hello Largo, This is a great question. There are several options when a therapist is transferring to a new practice. If the practice is in the same general area and the therapist does not have a non compete agreement they can let clients know where they are going. Generally if a therapist has a planned exit from an agency or practice they will inform their clients, and offer or provide transition sessions or suggest new therapist options. At times, unforeseen events arise and and there is no transition process with the therapist. While this situation is not ideal for any client, it does provide an opportunity to utilize learned coping strategies and resilience. | 0 | 293 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Hello Largo, This is a great question. There are several options when a therapist is transferring to a new practice. If the practice is in the same general area and the therapist does not have a non compete agreement they can let clients know where they are going. Generally if a therapist has a planned exit from an agency or practice they will inform their clients, and offer or provide transition sessions or suggest new therapist options. At times, unforeseen events arise and and there is no transition process with the therapist. While this situation is not ideal for any client, it does provide an opportunity to utilize learned coping strategies and resilience. </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | There may be differences in Sate laws, and differences based on the particular license of the therapist, on this question so try googling your question for your State.Generally, the therapist should have given you whatever the standard practice is for your State, notice in advance. And, the therapist was expected to tell you and write you their care plan for the child patient.Are you the parent who is legally responsible for this child?If not, then the therapist may have already communicated properly with whoever is the legal parent responsible for the child. Also, insurance corporations who have contracts with particular therapists, have their own timeline standards of expecting therapists to give proper notice in advance of leaving a practice. | 0 | 512 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] There may be differences in Sate laws, and differences based on the particular license of the therapist, on this question so try googling your question for your State.Generally, the therapist should have given you whatever the standard practice is for your State, notice in advance. And, the therapist was expected to tell you and write you their care plan for the child patient.Are you the parent who is legally responsible for this child?If not, then the therapist may have already communicated properly with whoever is the legal parent responsible for the child. Also, insurance corporations who have contracts with particular therapists, have their own timeline standards of expecting therapists to give proper notice in advance of leaving a practice. </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | Mark Morris, LCSWTherapist and Author of Living Yes | https://counselchat.com/therapists/mark-morris-lcsw-new-orleans | Ask the therapist first. They will either tell you how to continue with them in the new job or give you a referral. They also will help your child with the transition. If that fails, ask the agency where your child sees the therapist about next steps. There's an agency director or equivalent who will probably be happy to help you. If that fails, and I hope it doesn't, consider finding a therapist on your own. If the therapist is not helping or is behaving unethically, contact the state agency which issues the therapist's license for help and to let them know about your experience. That will protect the next parent. Good luck. ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org) | 0 | 552 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Ask the therapist first. They will either tell you how to continue with them in the new job or give you a referral. They also will help your child with the transition. If that fails, ask the agency where your child sees the therapist about next steps. There's an agency director or equivalent who will probably be happy to help you. If that fails, and I hope it doesn't, consider finding a therapist on your own. If the therapist is not helping or is behaving unethically, contact the state agency which issues the therapist's license for help and to let them know about your experience. That will protect the next parent. Good luck. ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org) </s> |
899 | What is the proper procedure if your child's therapist is leaving the practice to work elsewhere? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-is-the-proper-procedure-if-your-child-s-therapist-is-leaving-the-practice-to-work-elsewhere | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | When terminating employment, counselors need to make sure they don't abandon their clients. There are several ways a counselor can avoid abandoning a client. First, the counselor can refer the client to another clinician at the place of employment. Second, the counselor could refer the client to another clinician outside of the place of employment. Third, the counselor could continue to work with the client in the new place of employment.In the end, the best interest of the client should be the the basis for which option is selected. | 0 | 521 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] When terminating employment, counselors need to make sure they don't abandon their clients. There are several ways a counselor can avoid abandoning a client. First, the counselor can refer the client to another clinician at the place of employment. Second, the counselor could refer the client to another clinician outside of the place of employment. Third, the counselor could continue to work with the client in the new place of employment.In the end, the best interest of the client should be the the basis for which option is selected. </s> |
900 | Should I get a new therapist? | I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-get-a-new-therapist | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | It can be really frustrating to feel like your counselor is not providing you with the help you need.My recommendation in a situation like this would be to let your counselor know how you feel. Specifically tell Your counselor that you don't seem to be getting the amount of feedback you would like.If this doesn't help, then you might want to look for another counselor who will be a better fit for you. | 2 | 391 | <s>[INST] I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. [/INST] It can be really frustrating to feel like your counselor is not providing you with the help you need.My recommendation in a situation like this would be to let your counselor know how you feel. Specifically tell Your counselor that you don't seem to be getting the amount of feedback you would like.If this doesn't help, then you might want to look for another counselor who will be a better fit for you. </s> |
900 | Should I get a new therapist? | I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-get-a-new-therapist | professional-ethics | Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | Hi Anaheim,Relationships with therapists have some things in common with other relationships; they work best if there is dialogue about what your hopes, thoughts, emotions and needs are. Are you letting your therapist know what your goals are? It's okay to say "I'd really like us to focus on this piece", or "I'm looking for specific direction about how to manage this part". Your therapist is wise if they ask questions that determine what your needs are, but they can't read your mind. Not every therapist will be a good fit for you. I know I'm not a good fit for everyone I meet. We have different styles; some are more passive and focus on listening. This might be the type of therapist you have. For some people this is what they want, but maybe it's not for you. Maybe you want someone who digs at you more, asks more questions, gives you strategies, lets you know what they think... someone more active. If this is the case, it doesn't mean s/he's a bad therapist...it's just not what you're looking for. Sometimes people think they can't end sessions with their therapist; they might be worried about hurt feelings. But, in the end, you don't owe your therapist anything if you feel it's not working or it's not a good match. Just move on and try someone new. Maybe ask them questions first about their style, even. Best of luck! | 1 | 118 | <s>[INST] I have an eating disorder of binging. I've had gastric sleeve surgery. I need help with issues of abuse as a child, addiction, and abusive men. I have been in therapy for five months and get no feedback from my therapist. [/INST] Hi Anaheim,Relationships with therapists have some things in common with other relationships; they work best if there is dialogue about what your hopes, thoughts, emotions and needs are. Are you letting your therapist know what your goals are? It's okay to say "I'd really like us to focus on this piece", or "I'm looking for specific direction about how to manage this part". Your therapist is wise if they ask questions that determine what your needs are, but they can't read your mind. Not every therapist will be a good fit for you. I know I'm not a good fit for everyone I meet. We have different styles; some are more passive and focus on listening. This might be the type of therapist you have. For some people this is what they want, but maybe it's not for you. Maybe you want someone who digs at you more, asks more questions, gives you strategies, lets you know what they think... someone more active. If this is the case, it doesn't mean s/he's a bad therapist...it's just not what you're looking for. Sometimes people think they can't end sessions with their therapist; they might be worried about hurt feelings. But, in the end, you don't owe your therapist anything if you feel it's not working or it's not a good match. Just move on and try someone new. Maybe ask them questions first about their style, even. Best of luck! </s> |
901 | How do I approach my doctor about seeing a therapist? | I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-approach-my-doctor-about-seeing-a-therapist | professional-ethics | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | Having this kind of conversation with a doctor can feel difficult. But remember, you are the expert on you. Any good medical professional will recognize that.You are absolutely right to think about the importance of being your own health care advocate. Generally, the best approach is simply to be honest. Let your doctor know what you are concerned about and tell your doctor what you think might help. If there is a specific issue that you’d like to address in counseling, let you doctor know about it. And don’t hesitate to directly ask for a referral.I know this may all feel a little overwhelming. It might help to bring a family member or significant-other with you to provide support when you talk to your doctor. It’s great that you’ve already taken this first step to reach out. You’re on the right track. | 5 | 261 | <s>[INST] I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone. [/INST] Having this kind of conversation with a doctor can feel difficult. But remember, you are the expert on you. Any good medical professional will recognize that.You are absolutely right to think about the importance of being your own health care advocate. Generally, the best approach is simply to be honest. Let your doctor know what you are concerned about and tell your doctor what you think might help. If there is a specific issue that you’d like to address in counseling, let you doctor know about it. And don’t hesitate to directly ask for a referral.I know this may all feel a little overwhelming. It might help to bring a family member or significant-other with you to provide support when you talk to your doctor. It’s great that you’ve already taken this first step to reach out. You’re on the right track. </s> |
901 | How do I approach my doctor about seeing a therapist? | I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-approach-my-doctor-about-seeing-a-therapist | professional-ethics | Danielle AlvarezLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/danielle-alvarez | Thanks for your question. I'm glad you realize that you need extra support and are being proactive. Simply explain to your doctor the feelings you have been experiencing and how you feel that speaking with a mental health therapist would be beneficial. However, keep in mind that you do not have to go into detail about your personal feelings. You can simply state that you are feeling down, overwhelmed, stressed, or whatever it may be. I'm sure your doctor will be glad to direct you from there. Best of luck you you! I hope that you will be feeling better soon! | 1 | 176 | <s>[INST] I'm worried I should see a therapist due to past events and current mental status. I'm just so unsure of how to ask my doctor about seeing someone. [/INST] Thanks for your question. I'm glad you realize that you need extra support and are being proactive. Simply explain to your doctor the feelings you have been experiencing and how you feel that speaking with a mental health therapist would be beneficial. However, keep in mind that you do not have to go into detail about your personal feelings. You can simply state that you are feeling down, overwhelmed, stressed, or whatever it may be. I'm sure your doctor will be glad to direct you from there. Best of luck you you! I hope that you will be feeling better soon! </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines, | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-traci-kochendorfer | How can we handle stress in healthy ways?
Eat and drink to optimize your health. Some people try to reduce stress by drinking alcohol or eating too much. Try and find if you do certain things or are there triggers when you do.
Exercise regularly. In addition to having physical health benefits, exercise has been shown to be a powerful stress reliever. ...
Stop using tobacco and nicotine products. People who use nicotine often refer to it as a stress reliever. ...
Study and practice relaxation techniques. Taking the time to relax every day helps to manage stress and to protect the body from the effects of stress. Lastly channel your creative energy try my adult coloring book it might help | 3 | 43 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] How can we handle stress in healthy ways?
Eat and drink to optimize your health. Some people try to reduce stress by drinking alcohol or eating too much. Try and find if you do certain things or are there triggers when you do.
Exercise regularly. In addition to having physical health benefits, exercise has been shown to be a powerful stress reliever. ...
Stop using tobacco and nicotine products. People who use nicotine often refer to it as a stress reliever. ...
Study and practice relaxation techniques. Taking the time to relax every day helps to manage stress and to protect the body from the effects of stress. Lastly channel your creative energy try my adult coloring book it might help </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | In case you feel some relief to know you're feeling the tone of our times.We live with crumbling of our values which then gives rise to insecurity everywhere. If someone doesn't know what their values are then its difficult to do anything, and right now everyday we hear uncertainty in what used to be our basic assumptions.You're more normal for noticing and feeling stressed than if you imagine life felt fine the way it is!One road to take is to accept that there are no clear roads forward. This means to change long term goals into shorter ones.Also, in general the more focused you can be as to your particular wishes, motivations, interests, and people about whom you care, the greater will be your sense of confidence that your personal world is as secure as it can be for right now.And, it helps too to know that nothing lasts forever, eventually all of what is up in the air will start to land in a much more clear way. | 1 | 84 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] In case you feel some relief to know you're feeling the tone of our times.We live with crumbling of our values which then gives rise to insecurity everywhere. If someone doesn't know what their values are then its difficult to do anything, and right now everyday we hear uncertainty in what used to be our basic assumptions.You're more normal for noticing and feeling stressed than if you imagine life felt fine the way it is!One road to take is to accept that there are no clear roads forward. This means to change long term goals into shorter ones.Also, in general the more focused you can be as to your particular wishes, motivations, interests, and people about whom you care, the greater will be your sense of confidence that your personal world is as secure as it can be for right now.And, it helps too to know that nothing lasts forever, eventually all of what is up in the air will start to land in a much more clear way. </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Kelly Mulroy, LMHC, NCC, DCCClinical Hypnosis and Psychotherapy | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kelly-mulroy-lmhc-ncc-dcc | Part of handling stress is making sure that your perception of the stress is accurate. Sometimes stress can seem more than it really is. One thing that I encourage my clients to do is to ask themselves, "What is this stressor really about?" Simplifying stress is a key to minimizing stress and leads to feeling less stressed out. | 1 | 139 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] Part of handling stress is making sure that your perception of the stress is accurate. Sometimes stress can seem more than it really is. One thing that I encourage my clients to do is to ask themselves, "What is this stressor really about?" Simplifying stress is a key to minimizing stress and leads to feeling less stressed out. </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Rachelle BurrellThis is for you | https://counselchat.com/therapists/rachelle-burrell | Unfortunately we can't escape stress in this life. Some stress is good and it motivates us to take needed actions. Or stress may paralyze us, cause sickness, and upset relationships. Stress affects every area of your life; physical, emotional, social, cognitive and spiritual. You may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach upset, or sleep disruption. It may affect your ability to learn new things or concentrate. Further it may cause you to question previously held beliefs and heighten your emotions. You can take a holistic approach and focus on those 5 realms to reduce your stress. As examples, exercise as approved by your MD to reduce muscle tension and lift mood, journaling or art to channel your emotions, spending time with positive people, staying away from negative people if you can, and be aware of thoughts that increase your stress. This does not need to take a lot of time out of your busy schedule. Taking 3 minutes throughout the day to walk, journal and take deep breaths helps. A therapist can help you identify specific stressors and help you to problem solve solutions. | 0 | 14 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] Unfortunately we can't escape stress in this life. Some stress is good and it motivates us to take needed actions. Or stress may paralyze us, cause sickness, and upset relationships. Stress affects every area of your life; physical, emotional, social, cognitive and spiritual. You may experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach upset, or sleep disruption. It may affect your ability to learn new things or concentrate. Further it may cause you to question previously held beliefs and heighten your emotions. You can take a holistic approach and focus on those 5 realms to reduce your stress. As examples, exercise as approved by your MD to reduce muscle tension and lift mood, journaling or art to channel your emotions, spending time with positive people, staying away from negative people if you can, and be aware of thoughts that increase your stress. This does not need to take a lot of time out of your busy schedule. Taking 3 minutes throughout the day to walk, journal and take deep breaths helps. A therapist can help you identify specific stressors and help you to problem solve solutions. </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Max Shmidheiser, PsyD, ABPP, MBE, CBISTOasis Neurobehavioral Health, LLC | https://counselchat.com/therapists/max-shmidheiser-psyd-abpp-mbe-cbist | As a general disclaimer, in any area of mental health there is no "one size fits all" response, as each concern addressed in therapy is unique to you and your life situation. With regard to stress reduction, it can be useful to take an inventory of the emotional, cognitive, and physical manifestations of stress with your psychologist, and to identify the context, history, and triggers related to the stress. This can help in establishing clear treatment goals with well defined targets for stress-reduction interventions, of which there are many. Basic examples of interventions to address manifestations of stress include: cognitive reframing techniques for manifestations of cognitive stress; assertiveness communication training, activity pacing, and mindfulness meditation for emotional manifestations of stress, and good sleep hygiene and lifestyle modifications (e.g., with nutrition, exercise, etc.) for physical manifestations of stress. This is by no means a comprehensive list of interventions, but hopefully will provide a sense of some of the options that could be available for you to work on with your psychologist. | 0 | 20 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] As a general disclaimer, in any area of mental health there is no "one size fits all" response, as each concern addressed in therapy is unique to you and your life situation. With regard to stress reduction, it can be useful to take an inventory of the emotional, cognitive, and physical manifestations of stress with your psychologist, and to identify the context, history, and triggers related to the stress. This can help in establishing clear treatment goals with well defined targets for stress-reduction interventions, of which there are many. Basic examples of interventions to address manifestations of stress include: cognitive reframing techniques for manifestations of cognitive stress; assertiveness communication training, activity pacing, and mindfulness meditation for emotional manifestations of stress, and good sleep hygiene and lifestyle modifications (e.g., with nutrition, exercise, etc.) for physical manifestations of stress. This is by no means a comprehensive list of interventions, but hopefully will provide a sense of some of the options that could be available for you to work on with your psychologist. </s> |
902 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-4 | stress | Linda AbdelsayedChange is the only constant in life | https://counselchat.com/therapists/linda-abdelsayed | There are many causes for feeling stressed out. Between a demanding job, family responsibilities, and everything else that can come up, stress becomes more and more part of our everyday life. One of the best ways to combat the toxic effects of stress on our bodies, social lives, and overall well being is to engage in self-care. But not the self-care that most people think of like vacations or massages. The best self-care is the kind that helps you live the life that you already have rather than escape it. You see, the reason why vacations and massages don't work long term in reducing stress is that they allow you to escape from what is causing the stress without truly fixing it so you just return to what already stressed you out. So, instead you need to find ways to help live with the stressors that you already have. They can be things like creating a more manageable schedule, introducing healthy eating or exercising, financial planning, and even learning a few simple relaxation skills. The key to combatting stress is to make small but consistent changes to your life so that it becomes more manageable and more enjoyable. | 0 | 35 | <s>[INST] I need help dealing with stress. How can I handle it all and feel less stressed out? [/INST] There are many causes for feeling stressed out. Between a demanding job, family responsibilities, and everything else that can come up, stress becomes more and more part of our everyday life. One of the best ways to combat the toxic effects of stress on our bodies, social lives, and overall well being is to engage in self-care. But not the self-care that most people think of like vacations or massages. The best self-care is the kind that helps you live the life that you already have rather than escape it. You see, the reason why vacations and massages don't work long term in reducing stress is that they allow you to escape from what is causing the stress without truly fixing it so you just return to what already stressed you out. So, instead you need to find ways to help live with the stressors that you already have. They can be things like creating a more manageable schedule, introducing healthy eating or exercising, financial planning, and even learning a few simple relaxation skills. The key to combatting stress is to make small but consistent changes to your life so that it becomes more manageable and more enjoyable. </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines, | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-traci-kochendorfer | What are five ways to reduce stress?Here Are 5 Important And Effective Ways To Reduce Stress And Anxiety 1. Practice deep breathing exercises 2. Just lie down on the floor 3. Focus on an object to help calm your breathing 4. Take a break and listen to some music 5. Smile even when you don’t feel like smiling 😃 | 4 | 58 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] What are five ways to reduce stress?Here Are 5 Important And Effective Ways To Reduce Stress And Anxiety 1. Practice deep breathing exercises 2. Just lie down on the floor 3. Focus on an object to help calm your breathing 4. Take a break and listen to some music 5. Smile even when you don’t feel like smiling 😃 </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce | Finding the root of your stress, what stresses you most? Finding techniques to combat that, and many have found release, relief in acupuncture, and emotional freedom techniques. | 0 | 10 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] Finding the root of your stress, what stresses you most? Finding techniques to combat that, and many have found release, relief in acupuncture, and emotional freedom techniques. </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Tara Green, LCSWFeel alive again; solution focused and goal oriented therapy | https://counselchat.com/therapists/tara-green-lcsw | Some great stress busters are: any type of physical exercise that you enjoy, journaling, reading, doing things you enjoy by yourself or with others, listening to good music, having a great laugh and good conversation, relaxing and mediating like deep breathing, and trying your best to be in the moment! | 0 | 31 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] Some great stress busters are: any type of physical exercise that you enjoy, journaling, reading, doing things you enjoy by yourself or with others, listening to good music, having a great laugh and good conversation, relaxing and mediating like deep breathing, and trying your best to be in the moment! </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Something different works for each of us.There are the outward answers of self-pampering and making your home and work environment as pleasant as possible.A deeper level way to decrease stress is through exercise or alternative practices like yoga or tai chi.If the stress is more deeply rooted than temporarily feeling irritated for a few days, then give yourself some time to reflect and clarify what the meaning of the stress is to you.Self-understanding and appreciating your efforts to know yourself may decrease stress because you'll be more focused and attentive to who you are. This will influence you overall to make good decisions for yourself and these will naturally be ones which decrease stress as much as possible. | 0 | 111 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] Something different works for each of us.There are the outward answers of self-pampering and making your home and work environment as pleasant as possible.A deeper level way to decrease stress is through exercise or alternative practices like yoga or tai chi.If the stress is more deeply rooted than temporarily feeling irritated for a few days, then give yourself some time to reflect and clarify what the meaning of the stress is to you.Self-understanding and appreciating your efforts to know yourself may decrease stress because you'll be more focused and attentive to who you are. This will influence you overall to make good decisions for yourself and these will naturally be ones which decrease stress as much as possible. </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Kim HollingdaleMind-Body Approaches to Stress, Depression & Anxiety | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kim-hollingdale | Our body reacts to stress typically by breathing more shallowly, increasing our heart rate and tensing our muscles - so one thing that I find really effective is to try to do the opposite of that, which sends the signal to our mind that we are relaxed. So that means, taking slower, fuller breaths and trying to relax any areas where we might be gripping our muscles. Check out meditation apps such as 'Breathe', which can talk you through a relaxing breath exercise. I recommend using the app daily, whether you feel stressed or not, and then also using it when you re feeling particular moments of stress - that way you are practicing the skill when you feel calm(wish) and it'll be ready and able to help you when stress hits hard. | 0 | 106 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] Our body reacts to stress typically by breathing more shallowly, increasing our heart rate and tensing our muscles - so one thing that I find really effective is to try to do the opposite of that, which sends the signal to our mind that we are relaxed. So that means, taking slower, fuller breaths and trying to relax any areas where we might be gripping our muscles. Check out meditation apps such as 'Breathe', which can talk you through a relaxing breath exercise. I recommend using the app daily, whether you feel stressed or not, and then also using it when you re feeling particular moments of stress - that way you are practicing the skill when you feel calm(wish) and it'll be ready and able to help you when stress hits hard. </s> |
903 | How can I be less stressed? | I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-be-less-stressed-3 | stress | Linda LawlessA Safe Place To Be | https://counselchat.com/therapists/linda-lawless | Learn how to meditate. I recommend a Mindful Based Stress Reduction MBSR program. | 0 | 58 | <s>[INST] I need help knowing how to deal with stress. What can I do? [/INST] Learn how to meditate. I recommend a Mindful Based Stress Reduction MBSR program. </s> |
904 | How do I relieve stress and find balance? | I'm in my late 20s. I have two jobs right now, I'm in school, and I feel like I just have a lot under my belt right now. I get stressed out really easily. I tend to worry and over-think. I'm just worried about money and everything. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-relieve-stress-and-find-balance | stress | Richie (Yerachmiel) DonowitzExperienced - Compassionate- Measurable Results | https://counselchat.com/therapists/richie-yerachmiel-donowitz | A good start is to pay attention to some basic issues: sleep, nutrition, exercise and socially supportive relationships. A great car on an empty tank will not get you very far. | 0 | 60 | <s>[INST] I'm in my late 20s. I have two jobs right now, I'm in school, and I feel like I just have a lot under my belt right now. I get stressed out really easily. I tend to worry and over-think. I'm just worried about money and everything. [/INST] A good start is to pay attention to some basic issues: sleep, nutrition, exercise and socially supportive relationships. A great car on an empty tank will not get you very far. </s> |
905 | Is it bad to fantasize about my mom? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-it-bad-to-fantasize-about-my-mom | human-sexuality | Robin Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCCMental Health in a Primary Care Setting | https://counselchat.com/therapists/robin-landwehr-dbh-lpcc-ncc | Hello, and thank you for your question. There are a couple of things I want to mention and some other colleagues may add other types of information. I want to talk about fantasies (an internal behavior not known by others) versus external behaviors that others can see, and your specific question about fantasizing about a parent. I am going to assume that you are meaning sexual fantasies, and I apologize if that is not your meaning. It is important to remember that we may fantasize about a bunch of things that we would never do. Someone may fantasize about punching his boss right in the nose, but would never do it. And not just because of the consequences, but because they genuinely would not want to hurt someone in real life. It is also true that some people fantasize about things as a way to "work up" to doing the actual thing they want to do. You may be in one of these categories. The specific issue of fantasizing about a mother is something commonly found in Sigmund Freud's theories about psychosexual development. He called it the Oedipus Complex, and determined it is generally found in early childhood development, but can move into adulthood. The reason I am sharing this with you isn't to make you a psychology major, but rather so that you will know that you are NOT the only person to have such fantasies in adulthood. Something to think about is whether or not you should feel guilty about fantasies. Of course, if the answer is yes, you may find yourself feeling guilty a lot of the time. Or should you only concern yourself with behaviors that others can actually see or be affected by? For example, should you only be concerned if you are actually planning on ACTING on one of your fantasies toward your mother. The answer to that could certainly be yes, since someone acting on their fantasies would certainly impact someone else. Sometimes our minds will have a fantasy and we recognize that it is taboo, and when that happens it is possible that we will actually fantasize about it MORE. That is also a possibility here, too. You may have had a rogue fantasy that has now taken root. The most important thing I am trying to get across to you is that there may be many reasons for these fantasies and they don't all lead to them, or you, being "bad." If you have real concerns about what this may mean about you as a person, you may want to go to a counselor. This is especially true if you think you want to act on these fantasies and you know that would be harmful. There are many possible explanations for these fantasies and a counselor's office may be the safest place to explore them. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC | 0 | 5,022 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Hello, and thank you for your question. There are a couple of things I want to mention and some other colleagues may add other types of information. I want to talk about fantasies (an internal behavior not known by others) versus external behaviors that others can see, and your specific question about fantasizing about a parent. I am going to assume that you are meaning sexual fantasies, and I apologize if that is not your meaning. It is important to remember that we may fantasize about a bunch of things that we would never do. Someone may fantasize about punching his boss right in the nose, but would never do it. And not just because of the consequences, but because they genuinely would not want to hurt someone in real life. It is also true that some people fantasize about things as a way to "work up" to doing the actual thing they want to do. You may be in one of these categories. The specific issue of fantasizing about a mother is something commonly found in Sigmund Freud's theories about psychosexual development. He called it the Oedipus Complex, and determined it is generally found in early childhood development, but can move into adulthood. The reason I am sharing this with you isn't to make you a psychology major, but rather so that you will know that you are NOT the only person to have such fantasies in adulthood. Something to think about is whether or not you should feel guilty about fantasies. Of course, if the answer is yes, you may find yourself feeling guilty a lot of the time. Or should you only concern yourself with behaviors that others can actually see or be affected by? For example, should you only be concerned if you are actually planning on ACTING on one of your fantasies toward your mother. The answer to that could certainly be yes, since someone acting on their fantasies would certainly impact someone else. Sometimes our minds will have a fantasy and we recognize that it is taboo, and when that happens it is possible that we will actually fantasize about it MORE. That is also a possibility here, too. You may have had a rogue fantasy that has now taken root. The most important thing I am trying to get across to you is that there may be many reasons for these fantasies and they don't all lead to them, or you, being "bad." If you have real concerns about what this may mean about you as a person, you may want to go to a counselor. This is especially true if you think you want to act on these fantasies and you know that would be harmful. There are many possible explanations for these fantasies and a counselor's office may be the safest place to explore them. Be well.Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPCC, NCC </s> |
906 | Why do I get aroused when women call me "gay"? | Is it a type of fetish, or is it normal? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-get-aroused-when-women-call-me-gay | human-sexuality | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Maybe it is a way to secretly satisfy your own wish to be or to live life gay. | 0 | 46 | <s>[INST] Is it a type of fetish, or is it normal? [/INST] Maybe it is a way to secretly satisfy your own wish to be or to live life gay. </s> |
907 | Why do I have sexual urges for my sister? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-have-sexual-urges-for-my-sister | human-sexuality | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Without knowing more details about your personal family dynamics and your age, I am only able to guess.Maybe the reason is because she looks attractive to you. Whether this means anything more than a fleeting fantasy moment or if it is more serious, depends for how long you've felt this way toward her.Sexual urges are sometimes hidden wish to be nurtured. If your sister reminds you of a loving presence then your sexual urge for her may really reflect your need to be nurtured, not necessarily sexually satisfied.Basically, give yourself the mental freedom to let your mind wander as to your own theory on your question.When the find the answer which feels accurate you'll have a sense of having reached your answer. | 0 | 712 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Without knowing more details about your personal family dynamics and your age, I am only able to guess.Maybe the reason is because she looks attractive to you. Whether this means anything more than a fleeting fantasy moment or if it is more serious, depends for how long you've felt this way toward her.Sexual urges are sometimes hidden wish to be nurtured. If your sister reminds you of a loving presence then your sexual urge for her may really reflect your need to be nurtured, not necessarily sexually satisfied.Basically, give yourself the mental freedom to let your mind wander as to your own theory on your question.When the find the answer which feels accurate you'll have a sense of having reached your answer. </s> |
908 | Is there a reason I have always been attracted to men much older then me? | I am a young adult, and I was sexually assaulted by an older man when I was a teenager (which has really intensified the guilt/shame). However, I've been attracted to much older men since I was even younger than that. | https://counselchat.com/questions/is-there-a-reason-i-have-always-been-attracted-to-men-much-older-then-me | human-sexuality | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Sometimes the reason for being attracted to older men is because of growing up with a father who was distant.If you grew up having enough interaction with your dad to know you'd have liked more and didn't receive this, then maybe your longings of childhood are still active within you.It is ok to like older men.Just be sure you're not idealizing them, or anyone else.Because regardless of age, a relationship is based on who the two people really are, not how we'd like imagining them. | 0 | 54 | <s>[INST] I am a young adult, and I was sexually assaulted by an older man when I was a teenager (which has really intensified the guilt/shame). However, I've been attracted to much older men since I was even younger than that. [/INST] Sometimes the reason for being attracted to older men is because of growing up with a father who was distant.If you grew up having enough interaction with your dad to know you'd have liked more and didn't receive this, then maybe your longings of childhood are still active within you.It is ok to like older men.Just be sure you're not idealizing them, or anyone else.Because regardless of age, a relationship is based on who the two people really are, not how we'd like imagining them. </s> |
909 | How do I deal with sexual tension? | I have been experiencing a lot of sexual tension with a lot of the guys that I talk to nowadays. I keep imagining having sex with them. I have never had sex before, nor have I had a boyfriend. I feel lonely and empty. I feel like my body is not okay, and I am missing something. I talk to so many boys in school, and I always fantasize about half of them. I want this feeling to stop because it is interfering with my time to study since most of the time, I am busy thinking about sex. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-sexual-tension | human-sexuality | Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | Hi Montreal, I'm glad you wrote. What you're experiencing is normal. We're sexual beings. We have a built-in desire to connect sexually with others, because it feels good, to keep procreation going, and mostly to "connect" with other people, because connecting with others makes us feel fulfilled and valuable. Sexual desire is a healthy part of you. Maybe your body is telling you it wants to dive into that water and taste it instead of just staring at it? It sounds like you're beginning to explore yourself sexually, and that's okay.At your young age, you also have another innate burning desire, and that is to know yourself. I see both of these desires burning and competing in you. It's a bit of a crazy time...you want to connect with others but you're not sure who you are or what you want from them. You want to know yourself but you can't learn about yourself in a vacuum. It's okay to trust your instincts. It's okay to connect sexually with others, as long as you're preventing disease and pregnancy and you know how to protect your boundaries. But even as I write this, I think maybe I'm being controlling and overprotective of you; it's your body and you're in charge of what happens to it! (But I do want you to be safe...whatever that means to you). Maybe talk to someone you trust. With each encounter you have with other people (sexual or not), you will learn more about yourself and what you want, both sexually and just in relationship or friendship. You will develop a sense of who you are.Have you tried to get to know yourself sexually? This is a super place to start, and knowing how your own body works can give you confidence when you eventually connect with others. When you explore your own body, what feels good? What brings you to orgasm? I wish you well as you explore both who you are and how it feels to connect with others safely. :) | 0 | 195 | <s>[INST] I have been experiencing a lot of sexual tension with a lot of the guys that I talk to nowadays. I keep imagining having sex with them. I have never had sex before, nor have I had a boyfriend. I feel lonely and empty. I feel like my body is not okay, and I am missing something. I talk to so many boys in school, and I always fantasize about half of them. I want this feeling to stop because it is interfering with my time to study since most of the time, I am busy thinking about sex. [/INST] Hi Montreal, I'm glad you wrote. What you're experiencing is normal. We're sexual beings. We have a built-in desire to connect sexually with others, because it feels good, to keep procreation going, and mostly to "connect" with other people, because connecting with others makes us feel fulfilled and valuable. Sexual desire is a healthy part of you. Maybe your body is telling you it wants to dive into that water and taste it instead of just staring at it? It sounds like you're beginning to explore yourself sexually, and that's okay.At your young age, you also have another innate burning desire, and that is to know yourself. I see both of these desires burning and competing in you. It's a bit of a crazy time...you want to connect with others but you're not sure who you are or what you want from them. You want to know yourself but you can't learn about yourself in a vacuum. It's okay to trust your instincts. It's okay to connect sexually with others, as long as you're preventing disease and pregnancy and you know how to protect your boundaries. But even as I write this, I think maybe I'm being controlling and overprotective of you; it's your body and you're in charge of what happens to it! (But I do want you to be safe...whatever that means to you). Maybe talk to someone you trust. With each encounter you have with other people (sexual or not), you will learn more about yourself and what you want, both sexually and just in relationship or friendship. You will develop a sense of who you are.Have you tried to get to know yourself sexually? This is a super place to start, and knowing how your own body works can give you confidence when you eventually connect with others. When you explore your own body, what feels good? What brings you to orgasm? I wish you well as you explore both who you are and how it feels to connect with others safely. :) </s> |
910 | How can I get some closure on an experience I regret? | Back in high school, my friend and I used to masturbate around each other. I hate even talking about it now because it's so weird. We didn't even realize how messed up it was at the time. One time, it escalated and we ended up doing it for each other. It wasn't supposed to be a gay thing, but it sure sounds like it now that I talk about it. I pushed this away until it recently came up in my head again. I'm having a lot of trouble. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-get-some-closure-on-an-experience-i-regret | human-sexuality | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Writing about your high school masturbation times with your friend, is itself a form of acknowledging the full picture of who you are. You are doing well to reflect on your actions in the truthful way you are doing.Also positive is that you have perspective, that at your age and social maturity, you were innocently doing something that in adult terms, would be considered in a negative way.Maybe through your more mature mind's eye of today, you can feel some compassion and understanding for your high school self. This way your sense of self-judgment may start to dissolve a little bit more. | 2 | 133 | <s>[INST] Back in high school, my friend and I used to masturbate around each other. I hate even talking about it now because it's so weird. We didn't even realize how messed up it was at the time. One time, it escalated and we ended up doing it for each other. It wasn't supposed to be a gay thing, but it sure sounds like it now that I talk about it. I pushed this away until it recently came up in my head again. I'm having a lot of trouble. [/INST] Writing about your high school masturbation times with your friend, is itself a form of acknowledging the full picture of who you are. You are doing well to reflect on your actions in the truthful way you are doing.Also positive is that you have perspective, that at your age and social maturity, you were innocently doing something that in adult terms, would be considered in a negative way.Maybe through your more mature mind's eye of today, you can feel some compassion and understanding for your high school self. This way your sense of self-judgment may start to dissolve a little bit more. </s> |
911 | How can I control my sexual urges? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-control-my-sexual-urges | human-sexuality | Kristi King-Morgan, LMSWSocial Worker, Psychotherapist | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kristi-king-morgan-lmsw | Anything can become an addiction. Eating, gambling, shopping, sex, even exercising. It sounds like this has become a behavioral addiction for you. A therapist can help you identify the underlying reasons and help you learn to control the urges and develop healthier coping skills. People turn to an activity that makes them feel better when something is bothering them emotionally or mentally. Anything can become a problem if you overuse it. This is why it is important to have a healthy balance of activities in your life; more than one thing that you can turn to in order to help you cope. Addictions are formed when we turn to the same thing over and over again. Sex is a very powerful addiction for some people. It makes us feel good. We get pleasure from it. I had a client that turned to eating as her “addiction.” The advice I gave her applies to your situation as well. Eating is something that we have to do and that an addict cannot “cold turkey” and walk away from. My client could not tell when she felt the urge to eat if it was because she was hungry or because she was upset about something and was subconsciously turning to food to make her feel better. Her body was telling her brain that she needed to eat. I asked her to first STOP and THINK when she felt the urge to eat. Look at the clock and mark the time. Tell herself that in one hour if she was still hungry then she could eat, but that she needed to find something else to occupy her mind and her time until the hour had passed. She tried this for a week.She said it worked. She would get busy reading a book, watching TV, or would go for a walk around her neighborhood for exercise and these activities would take her mind off things and the hour would pass and she wouldn’t even notice the time. What this did for her was stop an unhealthy behavior and replace it with some healthier activities. She had to learn to first recognize when she was feeling the urge, and then to come up with other activities to do instead. You can do this with your urges. Having sexual gratification as your one “go to” method to cope is causing you distress. Make a list of other activities that you like and that you can engage in, and when you feel the sexual urge, make yourself do another activity for an hour to get your mind off of it. It may take a few tries to find an activity that will hold your attention. A habit that has developed over time is not going to be so easy to break.Please go to a medical doctor and get evaluated as well. They can do lab work and check your hormone levels. If needed, medication can help. After being cleared medically, counseling can help you. You stated that you have a disability that makes it impossible. A therapist can help you explore the feelings that you are experiencing due to the inability to have sex. This is a grief/loss issue in the same way that someone who had lost the ability to walk might be grieving over his mobility. Something that you used to be able to do, now you cannot. It is expected that you might have some feelings of anger or sadness about this. | 0 | 277 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Anything can become an addiction. Eating, gambling, shopping, sex, even exercising. It sounds like this has become a behavioral addiction for you. A therapist can help you identify the underlying reasons and help you learn to control the urges and develop healthier coping skills. People turn to an activity that makes them feel better when something is bothering them emotionally or mentally. Anything can become a problem if you overuse it. This is why it is important to have a healthy balance of activities in your life; more than one thing that you can turn to in order to help you cope. Addictions are formed when we turn to the same thing over and over again. Sex is a very powerful addiction for some people. It makes us feel good. We get pleasure from it. I had a client that turned to eating as her “addiction.” The advice I gave her applies to your situation as well. Eating is something that we have to do and that an addict cannot “cold turkey” and walk away from. My client could not tell when she felt the urge to eat if it was because she was hungry or because she was upset about something and was subconsciously turning to food to make her feel better. Her body was telling her brain that she needed to eat. I asked her to first STOP and THINK when she felt the urge to eat. Look at the clock and mark the time. Tell herself that in one hour if she was still hungry then she could eat, but that she needed to find something else to occupy her mind and her time until the hour had passed. She tried this for a week.She said it worked. She would get busy reading a book, watching TV, or would go for a walk around her neighborhood for exercise and these activities would take her mind off things and the hour would pass and she wouldn’t even notice the time. What this did for her was stop an unhealthy behavior and replace it with some healthier activities. She had to learn to first recognize when she was feeling the urge, and then to come up with other activities to do instead. You can do this with your urges. Having sexual gratification as your one “go to” method to cope is causing you distress. Make a list of other activities that you like and that you can engage in, and when you feel the sexual urge, make yourself do another activity for an hour to get your mind off of it. It may take a few tries to find an activity that will hold your attention. A habit that has developed over time is not going to be so easy to break.Please go to a medical doctor and get evaluated as well. They can do lab work and check your hormone levels. If needed, medication can help. After being cleared medically, counseling can help you. You stated that you have a disability that makes it impossible. A therapist can help you explore the feelings that you are experiencing due to the inability to have sex. This is a grief/loss issue in the same way that someone who had lost the ability to walk might be grieving over his mobility. Something that you used to be able to do, now you cannot. It is expected that you might have some feelings of anger or sadness about this. </s> |
912 | Why do I always get ignored by people? | Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-always-get-ignored-by-people | social-relationships | Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines, | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-traci-kochendorfer | You are not alone. SocIal media marketing is and can be tricky. Today to feel validated it is to receive a like , comment or follow. When friends or family members are interacting on their pages but not yours it can be frustrating. Law of Attraction might help. Contact me or visit my profile to learn more. | 1 | 111 | <s>[INST] Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? [/INST] You are not alone. SocIal media marketing is and can be tricky. Today to feel validated it is to receive a like , comment or follow. When friends or family members are interacting on their pages but not yours it can be frustrating. Law of Attraction might help. Contact me or visit my profile to learn more. </s> |
912 | Why do I always get ignored by people? | Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-always-get-ignored-by-people | social-relationships | Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce | Stand in your power and ask
for your needs -in this case, an answer-,
to be met. You are valid. People often feed off our energy, so exude the energy of standing in
your power and making your voice heard. Knowing what you say is worthy of being
heard and receiving a response. You could also look into working on your throat
chakra which deals with speaking your truth, self-expression, being heard. | 0 | 11 | <s>[INST] Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? [/INST] Stand in your power and ask
for your needs -in this case, an answer-,
to be met. You are valid. People often feed off our energy, so exude the energy of standing in
your power and making your voice heard. Knowing what you say is worthy of being
heard and receiving a response. You could also look into working on your throat
chakra which deals with speaking your truth, self-expression, being heard. </s> |
912 | Why do I always get ignored by people? | Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-always-get-ignored-by-people | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | I understand the feeling of not being liked due to not having any responses on the sites you list.More than likely the non-response has less to do with liking you than w liking the way you write your messages.Have you tried asking a question in your posts? This would be one way to invite people to answer your post.When you write, imagine yourself as the reader of the post.If you think about the wording of a question which would motivate you to respond, then this formula will very likely be the same for many others who read your post.Good luck! | 0 | 132 | <s>[INST] Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? [/INST] I understand the feeling of not being liked due to not having any responses on the sites you list.More than likely the non-response has less to do with liking you than w liking the way you write your messages.Have you tried asking a question in your posts? This would be one way to invite people to answer your post.When you write, imagine yourself as the reader of the post.If you think about the wording of a question which would motivate you to respond, then this formula will very likely be the same for many others who read your post.Good luck! </s> |
912 | Why do I always get ignored by people? | Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-always-get-ignored-by-people | social-relationships | Earl LewisRelationship Expert | https://counselchat.com/therapists/earl-lewis | Sorry to hear your friends aren't responding to you. If these friends are in-person as well as online, perhaps going to them in person and asking talking to them about your concern. Perhaps it's the way you send messages or the way they are receiving them. if they say no, then a simple request to respond to your messages. Measure the result and notice if there are even small differences. Also understand, why this is so important to you. Ask yourself, why it's so important for you to receive these messages from friends. What does it mean when they don't respond. | 0 | 326 | <s>[INST] Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? [/INST] Sorry to hear your friends aren't responding to you. If these friends are in-person as well as online, perhaps going to them in person and asking talking to them about your concern. Perhaps it's the way you send messages or the way they are receiving them. if they say no, then a simple request to respond to your messages. Measure the result and notice if there are even small differences. Also understand, why this is so important to you. Ask yourself, why it's so important for you to receive these messages from friends. What does it mean when they don't respond. </s> |
912 | Why do I always get ignored by people? | Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-i-always-get-ignored-by-people | social-relationships | Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals | https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch | I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time.I wonder about how your friendships are in person. If you get along well with people and have effective conversations with them face-to-face, there could be some kind of technology-related problem.Have you tried gently talking to people about how you send a message and they didn't answer? If you can phrase it in such a way that they recognize that you are asking for information and not blaming them for not answering you, that could be effective.I'd also encourage you to consider how much this is bothering you. If it is causing a significant amount of anxiety (say, more than 5/10 if 10 is really anxious), I would suggest talking with a local therapist.In the meantime, consider talking about this with someone you trust to whom you can get more details to get a more specific answer. | 0 | 472 | <s>[INST] Every time I send a message to someone or a group message on Instagram, iMessage, or snapchat people will read my messages but then they won't answer me. Could it be that there is something they don't like about me? I don't understand why they won't answer my messages. How do I get people to respond to me? [/INST] I'm sorry that you are having a difficult time.I wonder about how your friendships are in person. If you get along well with people and have effective conversations with them face-to-face, there could be some kind of technology-related problem.Have you tried gently talking to people about how you send a message and they didn't answer? If you can phrase it in such a way that they recognize that you are asking for information and not blaming them for not answering you, that could be effective.I'd also encourage you to consider how much this is bothering you. If it is causing a significant amount of anxiety (say, more than 5/10 if 10 is really anxious), I would suggest talking with a local therapist.In the meantime, consider talking about this with someone you trust to whom you can get more details to get a more specific answer. </s> |
913 | Why do some people try to make a joke for everything and laugh at everything? | These "jokes" are made about everything. They seem to have the need to say something "funny" about everything. It's not funny, just awkward. | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-do-some-people-try-to-make-a-joke-for-everything-and-laugh-at-everything | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | I agree, it is awkward when people make jokes about subjects which may not be funny at all. And, if a person only jokes, then after laughing and realizing the person has nothing of themselves to offer, this can also be quite tedious.Realize that you are more aware of human interaction having many levels of expression. You could start avoiding people who irritate you by the way they behave. | 12 | 1,840 | <s>[INST] These "jokes" are made about everything. They seem to have the need to say something "funny" about everything. It's not funny, just awkward. [/INST] I agree, it is awkward when people make jokes about subjects which may not be funny at all. And, if a person only jokes, then after laughing and realizing the person has nothing of themselves to offer, this can also be quite tedious.Realize that you are more aware of human interaction having many levels of expression. You could start avoiding people who irritate you by the way they behave. </s> |
914 | My friends don't put effort into our relationship | It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-friends-don-t-put-effort-into-our-relationship | social-relationships | Cory Ian Shafer LPCPsychotherapist, Jungian, Hypnotherapy | https://counselchat.com/therapists/cory-ian-shafer-lpc | One thing I would ask is "why are you still hanging with those {friends}?" A relationship needs to be nurtured by both parties, it is a dynamic fluctuation between two people. I would ask you to question why you continue to remain together as friends, I always believed that a relationship should emit positivity towards all parties involved, if your in a relationship that is one-sided, it is inevitable that it will start to de-compensate. Never travel with the circus, never travel with fools, everything in life should have some positive payout, will things at times be negative, of course they will, but in order to keep something or someone in your life there should be more positivity than negativity.Hope this helps, C | 2 | 542 | <s>[INST] It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship. [/INST] One thing I would ask is "why are you still hanging with those {friends}?" A relationship needs to be nurtured by both parties, it is a dynamic fluctuation between two people. I would ask you to question why you continue to remain together as friends, I always believed that a relationship should emit positivity towards all parties involved, if your in a relationship that is one-sided, it is inevitable that it will start to de-compensate. Never travel with the circus, never travel with fools, everything in life should have some positive payout, will things at times be negative, of course they will, but in order to keep something or someone in your life there should be more positivity than negativity.Hope this helps, C </s> |
914 | My friends don't put effort into our relationship | It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship. | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-friends-don-t-put-effort-into-our-relationship | social-relationships | Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCCBilingual Licensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/vivian-d-echevarria-guzman-msc-lpc-s-ncc | Interpersonal relationship (either positive or negatives) need to or more persons who give and receive: attention, dedication, time and communication. But what makes friendships special is that they last trough time, at least with those who we call our true friends, those who know us well and whom we have a special connection and those from whom we disconnect at times, without fear of losing them.Consider what is that you are going trough yourself and with your relationship, talk to your friend about your concern; let him (her) know that you would like to spend more time together. Plan an activity that you both enjoy or try to discover a new hobby. If your friend is not enthusiastic or engaged, give him (her) some time and focus your energy spending time with other friends or enjoying activities in solitude. After a waiting period, call again to let your friend know how you are and that you are still a friend. If you continue feeling rejected, analyze why you value this relationship so much and consider if it’s worth to maintain it.Mis amigos no ponen esfuerzo en nuestra relación.Es muy difícil no tenerles sentimientos negativos a amigos que no se esfuerzan en cuidar nuestra relación.Las relaciones interpersonales (negativas positivas) necesitan dos o más personas que den y reciban: atención, dedicación, tiempo y comunicación. Pero lo que tienen de especial las relaciones de amistad es que perduran a través del tiempo, al menos con los que llamamos nuestros verdaderos amigos, los que nos conocen bien y con quien tenemos una conexión especial, y de quienes nos desconectamos en ocasiones, sin miedo a perderlos. Considera que está sucediendo contigo y en tu amistad, conversa con tu amigo(a) sobre tu preocupación, déjale saber que te gustaría pasar más tiempo juntos. Planifica alguna actividad que les interese a ambos o descubran algún nuevo interés. Si la respuesta de tu amigo(a) no es positiva o entusiasta, dale tiempo y acércate a otras personas que compartan intereses en común, o dedícate a hacer cosas que disfrutas en solitud. Después de un plazo, vuelve a comunicarte para saber como esta, y dejarle su amigo(a) de siempre está ahí. Si sientes que tu amigo(a) no tiene ningún interés, buscar hacer nuevas conexiones, y enfócate más en ti y en otras actividades. Si tu amigo(a) no responde, analiza porque valoras esta relación, y si conviene mantenerla, aun cuando tu amigo(a) no responde a tus esfuerzos. | 0 | 84 | <s>[INST] It's really hard to not have negative feelings about friends who don't put any effort into nourishing our relationship. [/INST] Interpersonal relationship (either positive or negatives) need to or more persons who give and receive: attention, dedication, time and communication. But what makes friendships special is that they last trough time, at least with those who we call our true friends, those who know us well and whom we have a special connection and those from whom we disconnect at times, without fear of losing them.Consider what is that you are going trough yourself and with your relationship, talk to your friend about your concern; let him (her) know that you would like to spend more time together. Plan an activity that you both enjoy or try to discover a new hobby. If your friend is not enthusiastic or engaged, give him (her) some time and focus your energy spending time with other friends or enjoying activities in solitude. After a waiting period, call again to let your friend know how you are and that you are still a friend. If you continue feeling rejected, analyze why you value this relationship so much and consider if it’s worth to maintain it.Mis amigos no ponen esfuerzo en nuestra relación.Es muy difícil no tenerles sentimientos negativos a amigos que no se esfuerzan en cuidar nuestra relación.Las relaciones interpersonales (negativas positivas) necesitan dos o más personas que den y reciban: atención, dedicación, tiempo y comunicación. Pero lo que tienen de especial las relaciones de amistad es que perduran a través del tiempo, al menos con los que llamamos nuestros verdaderos amigos, los que nos conocen bien y con quien tenemos una conexión especial, y de quienes nos desconectamos en ocasiones, sin miedo a perderlos. Considera que está sucediendo contigo y en tu amistad, conversa con tu amigo(a) sobre tu preocupación, déjale saber que te gustaría pasar más tiempo juntos. Planifica alguna actividad que les interese a ambos o descubran algún nuevo interés. Si la respuesta de tu amigo(a) no es positiva o entusiasta, dale tiempo y acércate a otras personas que compartan intereses en común, o dedícate a hacer cosas que disfrutas en solitud. Después de un plazo, vuelve a comunicarte para saber como esta, y dejarle su amigo(a) de siempre está ahí. Si sientes que tu amigo(a) no tiene ningún interés, buscar hacer nuevas conexiones, y enfócate más en ti y en otras actividades. Si tu amigo(a) no responde, analiza porque valoras esta relación, y si conviene mantenerla, aun cuando tu amigo(a) no responde a tus esfuerzos. </s> |
915 | Should I pull away from my best friend? | Because we are on opposite coasts, we try to talk early mornings, but she is constantly interrupted by visitors. I suggested setting aside some time, but she has made it very clear she has no intention of changing her lifestyle. She is also drinking beer every day on antipsychotics. | https://counselchat.com/questions/should-i-pull-away-from-my-best-friend | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | The answer depends on how satisfied and happy you feel in being part of this friendship.From what you write, there aren't any statements as to what gives you happiness about being a friend to this person.Since you already made a request of. your friend and she isn't following through, you could ask if she is willing to work with your suggested plan.The friendship may take a new format, depending on your friend's response.Its possible to be in contact more spontaneously, when either of you feel like contacting the other.What matters most is your own dissatisfaction with the current relationship status.Even if you change to a, birthday and holiday only conversation, or some other style of interacting, at least it will be the result of the effort from each person, not just one, who is you, designing arrangements which only you are willing to keep. | 0 | 149 | <s>[INST] Because we are on opposite coasts, we try to talk early mornings, but she is constantly interrupted by visitors. I suggested setting aside some time, but she has made it very clear she has no intention of changing her lifestyle. She is also drinking beer every day on antipsychotics. [/INST] The answer depends on how satisfied and happy you feel in being part of this friendship.From what you write, there aren't any statements as to what gives you happiness about being a friend to this person.Since you already made a request of. your friend and she isn't following through, you could ask if she is willing to work with your suggested plan.The friendship may take a new format, depending on your friend's response.Its possible to be in contact more spontaneously, when either of you feel like contacting the other.What matters most is your own dissatisfaction with the current relationship status.Even if you change to a, birthday and holiday only conversation, or some other style of interacting, at least it will be the result of the effort from each person, not just one, who is you, designing arrangements which only you are willing to keep. </s> |
916 | How do I repair my friendship? | My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-repair-my-friendship | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | In order for your friend to forgive you she'd need to trust you understand the damage you introduced into her relationship with her friend.Its possible if you offer your friend expressions of your empathy toward her over an extended time, possibly she'll forgive you.You're certainly learning relationship lessons on how to treat people and the effect of betraying another person, which will last forever.Maybe this was meant to be the outcome. | 0 | 54 | <s>[INST] My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying. [/INST] In order for your friend to forgive you she'd need to trust you understand the damage you introduced into her relationship with her friend.Its possible if you offer your friend expressions of your empathy toward her over an extended time, possibly she'll forgive you.You're certainly learning relationship lessons on how to treat people and the effect of betraying another person, which will last forever.Maybe this was meant to be the outcome. </s> |
916 | How do I repair my friendship? | My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-repair-my-friendship | social-relationships | Lauren Ostrowski, MA, LPC, NCC, BC-TMH, CCTP, CCHI tailor my therapeutic approach to each client's strengths and goals | https://counselchat.com/therapists/lauren-ostrowski-ma-lpc-ncc-bc-tmh-cctp-cch | This takes time. I don't know how long it has been, but perhaps if your friend is willing to discuss other things with you for a little while, you could discuss this at some point in the future.Hopefully the true intentions will become apparent (in the idea that it was a prank).Also, I encourage you to look at how this is affecting you and how you feel about yourself as well. If it was meant to be a joke and it did not work, that is not entirely your fault.I wonder how you could forgive yourself for what happened?Are you able to seek what you meant to do compared to what actually happened?Do you notice that not everything that has happened here is in your control?Do you recognize that even though you would like things to be better, if your friend is not ready or willing, you are trying to do your part to make it right?Maybe everyone who is/was involved in this can talk together all at the same time to set straight what is truth and what was misunderstood.I wonder if you can think of your own positive attributes (for example: honesty, compassion, trustworthiness, friendship, good listener, caring) and look at what truly exists within you rather than just one your friend is able to see right now.This can be really difficult for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it involves more than just you, so it's important to focus on the idea that you can ask these other people who were involved to discuss it, but that is ultimately up to them.Best wishes for looking at the positive parts of yourself and your friendships. | 0 | 95 | <s>[INST] My best friend and I were pranking her friend, and I told her to tell him that she likes him. She said no, but I forced her. After she told him, he told her that he likes her too. Their friendship is ruined because of me. She won't forgive me, and I feel really guilty. I feel like crying. [/INST] This takes time. I don't know how long it has been, but perhaps if your friend is willing to discuss other things with you for a little while, you could discuss this at some point in the future.Hopefully the true intentions will become apparent (in the idea that it was a prank).Also, I encourage you to look at how this is affecting you and how you feel about yourself as well. If it was meant to be a joke and it did not work, that is not entirely your fault.I wonder how you could forgive yourself for what happened?Are you able to seek what you meant to do compared to what actually happened?Do you notice that not everything that has happened here is in your control?Do you recognize that even though you would like things to be better, if your friend is not ready or willing, you are trying to do your part to make it right?Maybe everyone who is/was involved in this can talk together all at the same time to set straight what is truth and what was misunderstood.I wonder if you can think of your own positive attributes (for example: honesty, compassion, trustworthiness, friendship, good listener, caring) and look at what truly exists within you rather than just one your friend is able to see right now.This can be really difficult for multiple reasons, not the least of which is that it involves more than just you, so it's important to focus on the idea that you can ask these other people who were involved to discuss it, but that is ultimately up to them.Best wishes for looking at the positive parts of yourself and your friendships. </s> |
917 | I have an old roommate who might be a psychopath | I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure? | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-an-old-roommate-who-might-be-a-psychopath | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | You may intuitively be sensing what many professionals in the social sciences and psychology have already understood.Just Google "psychopaths and leadership" and many articles come up about boardroom politics and that psychopaths are very successful in these roles.Theoretically, is it terrible that corporate leadership qualities match those of psychopaths? Well, yes. And, I consider your question as a mark of your sensitive awareness toward other people. Being able to recognize social dynamics, is a strength that you have.Psychopaths know how to be charming and to twist words so that others believe that their own interest is the same as the psychopath's.I agree with you about not being able to change people's minds who are attached to this person's interactions.The only way you can introduce a change in the relationship system of a psychopath is that if you are aware of illegal or law breaking activity, and you have evidence of this, that you contact relevant authorities.No one is allowed to break laws, including psychopaths. | 4 | 484 | <s>[INST] I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure? [/INST] You may intuitively be sensing what many professionals in the social sciences and psychology have already understood.Just Google "psychopaths and leadership" and many articles come up about boardroom politics and that psychopaths are very successful in these roles.Theoretically, is it terrible that corporate leadership qualities match those of psychopaths? Well, yes. And, I consider your question as a mark of your sensitive awareness toward other people. Being able to recognize social dynamics, is a strength that you have.Psychopaths know how to be charming and to twist words so that others believe that their own interest is the same as the psychopath's.I agree with you about not being able to change people's minds who are attached to this person's interactions.The only way you can introduce a change in the relationship system of a psychopath is that if you are aware of illegal or law breaking activity, and you have evidence of this, that you contact relevant authorities.No one is allowed to break laws, including psychopaths. </s> |
917 | I have an old roommate who might be a psychopath | I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure? | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-have-an-old-roommate-who-might-be-a-psychopath | social-relationships | Sarah ParkerSpecialize in healing painful emotions and restoring relationships | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sarah-parker | It doesn't really matter what the actual diagnosis is, and whether or not he is an actual psychopath, he has manipulated and lied to you, and that is enough reason for you to stay far away from him. Men (and women) with these characteristics can become violent. They can also make your life difficult by creating financial or legal trouble for you. Again, forget about him, and contact the police if you think he is in a position to harm others. | 0 | 53 | <s>[INST] I was “mentored” by this guy for a few years spiritually. It was okay at times, but other times, it was just weird. I try not to think about it too much, but a lot of manipulation and lying happened, yet no one else really believed me when I told them. It's like he's two different people, and no one else really sees that side of him. I was blamed for a lot of our troubles, and now we don't really talk much. I'm worried because he's in a trusted position of leadership and no one suspects anything. They just think I'm attacking his character. How do I know for sure? [/INST] It doesn't really matter what the actual diagnosis is, and whether or not he is an actual psychopath, he has manipulated and lied to you, and that is enough reason for you to stay far away from him. Men (and women) with these characteristics can become violent. They can also make your life difficult by creating financial or legal trouble for you. Again, forget about him, and contact the police if you think he is in a position to harm others. </s> |
918 | How do I stop a bully who adults wouldn't recognize as bullying without speaking to the bully? | She mostly targets me on social media. The bullying used to be much worse, but it is still going on. The comments are so vague, but I know that they are meant for me. Even when I confront her, she messages me short phrases to try to get in my head. If I try to fight back, she will ruin me. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-a-bully-who-adults-wouldn-t-recognize-as-bullying-without-speaking-to-the-bully | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Sorry to hear of your problem situation. Feeling intimidated by another person is very unsettling.Stop having contact with the person.Bullies only interact with others either by intimidating someone or by themselves feeling intimidated by someone.Bullies do not have the same dynamics as everyone else.No one can convince or persuade or talk a bully out of their behavior.The best protection for yourself, assuming you are not being physically threatened by the person, is to close contact with them.This does not take away any of the disappointment or sadness of wishing for a better relationship with the person.Until the bully wants to interact differently with others, only harm can result from contact with them.Step one is to stop the bleeding, then to assess and learn to live with not having the person in your life. | 0 | 24 | <s>[INST] She mostly targets me on social media. The bullying used to be much worse, but it is still going on. The comments are so vague, but I know that they are meant for me. Even when I confront her, she messages me short phrases to try to get in my head. If I try to fight back, she will ruin me. [/INST] Sorry to hear of your problem situation. Feeling intimidated by another person is very unsettling.Stop having contact with the person.Bullies only interact with others either by intimidating someone or by themselves feeling intimidated by someone.Bullies do not have the same dynamics as everyone else.No one can convince or persuade or talk a bully out of their behavior.The best protection for yourself, assuming you are not being physically threatened by the person, is to close contact with them.This does not take away any of the disappointment or sadness of wishing for a better relationship with the person.Until the bully wants to interact differently with others, only harm can result from contact with them.Step one is to stop the bleeding, then to assess and learn to live with not having the person in your life. </s> |
919 | How do I trust others? | I'm having problems shutting them out and putting up walls. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-trust-others | social-relationships | Ben BraaksmaMental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ben-braaksma | It sounds like you would like to let other people get close to you and at the same time you are finding yourself compelled to keep people at a distance. Often times, when we have difficulty trusting others, it is because we have specific fears about what would happen if we get close or let our guard down. Such fears may be rooted in past experiences in relationships in which we were hurt and or disappointed. In working with a therapist, you can gain insight into what is underneath your compulsion to put walls around yourself and develop ways to form authentic, lasting, satisfying relationships with others. | 0 | 141 | <s>[INST] I'm having problems shutting them out and putting up walls. [/INST] It sounds like you would like to let other people get close to you and at the same time you are finding yourself compelled to keep people at a distance. Often times, when we have difficulty trusting others, it is because we have specific fears about what would happen if we get close or let our guard down. Such fears may be rooted in past experiences in relationships in which we were hurt and or disappointed. In working with a therapist, you can gain insight into what is underneath your compulsion to put walls around yourself and develop ways to form authentic, lasting, satisfying relationships with others. </s> |
920 | The girls at my coming-of-age party don't like their dresses | I'm having a quinceañera, and the girls don't like their dresses. They never told me, and now it's a week away. I don't know what to do. | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-girls-at-my-coming-of-age-party-don-t-like-their-dresses | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | How did you find out that the girls aren't happy with their dresses?Did you hear this directly from one of them or is this third hand information that someone else told you about one of the girls in your party?The answer matters because gossiping instead of directly telling you about a problem, is a problem in itself.I suggest a conversation with the entire group of girls in which you tell them how you actually are feeling about their opinions about the dresses.One topic you may consider bringing up is what everyone expects to get out of the party. Are they coming because they like one another and wearing a dress in which the girl is happy, is only one way of having fun together?You may learn a great deal as to the difference in values about a quinceaña among you and your friends.I hope you'll have a fun party! | 0 | 101 | <s>[INST] I'm having a quinceañera, and the girls don't like their dresses. They never told me, and now it's a week away. I don't know what to do. [/INST] How did you find out that the girls aren't happy with their dresses?Did you hear this directly from one of them or is this third hand information that someone else told you about one of the girls in your party?The answer matters because gossiping instead of directly telling you about a problem, is a problem in itself.I suggest a conversation with the entire group of girls in which you tell them how you actually are feeling about their opinions about the dresses.One topic you may consider bringing up is what everyone expects to get out of the party. Are they coming because they like one another and wearing a dress in which the girl is happy, is only one way of having fun together?You may learn a great deal as to the difference in values about a quinceaña among you and your friends.I hope you'll have a fun party! </s> |
921 | How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time? | I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-learn-to-let-go-of-past-problems-and-live-one-day-at-a-time | social-relationships | Reid StellReid Stell Counseling | https://counselchat.com/therapists/reid-stell | Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire
to, and most of us have to work at it—certainly at first. I’m here to tell you
that living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately,
the only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of
other skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike,
swimming, and driving a car are good examples. You can’t learn them by reading about
them.Having said that, I can recommend two books on
the subject: Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of
Now and David Richo’s When the Past
is Present. Richo asks that we don’t beat ourselves up about dwelling on
past events. This is nature’s way of reminding us that we have unfinished
business. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.He offers three helpful steps to making any important life
change:Step One: Hold in awareness the behavior,
belief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you
want to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.Step Two: Live as if you have
already made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it.
Ride that bike—even if for a foot or two.)Step Three: Be persistent.
(Practice, practice, practice.)Just as two-year-olds are able to walk
confidently after hundreds of hours of practice, you’ll be able to stay in the
here and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times. | 2 | 383 | <s>[INST] I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. [/INST] Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire
to, and most of us have to work at it—certainly at first. I’m here to tell you
that living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately,
the only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of
other skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike,
swimming, and driving a car are good examples. You can’t learn them by reading about
them.Having said that, I can recommend two books on
the subject: Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of
Now and David Richo’s When the Past
is Present. Richo asks that we don’t beat ourselves up about dwelling on
past events. This is nature’s way of reminding us that we have unfinished
business. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.He offers three helpful steps to making any important life
change:Step One: Hold in awareness the behavior,
belief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you
want to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.Step Two: Live as if you have
already made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it.
Ride that bike—even if for a foot or two.)Step Three: Be persistent.
(Practice, practice, practice.)Just as two-year-olds are able to walk
confidently after hundreds of hours of practice, you’ll be able to stay in the
here and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times. </s> |
921 | How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time? | I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-learn-to-let-go-of-past-problems-and-live-one-day-at-a-time | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Would you describe yourself as sensitive to your surroundings and emotions?If yes, this may explain why letting go of past problems, is itself a problem.The dynamic of living one day at a time and letting go of past problems, is more imaginary and wishful than real.It is a popular notion of TV, FB, and media.Doing the letting go, has nothing to do with what is actually possible to do.Problems are not "let go", they are resolved somehow.Living one day at a time isn't possible for anyone who has consciousness. No one can really disconnect from reality every day on which they wake up.Instead of trying to do the impossible which is promoted online and in media, allow yourself time to recognize what went into creating a problem in your life, in the first place. Understanding problems leads to peacefulness and resolution. Then you will have more freedom to make new relationships.Also, be patient with this process and yourself.If you have deep attachment to painful situations in your life, then possibly now is your time for understanding what went wrong.This is a process which cannot be rushed if it is to be done well.If it is done thoroughly, then you very naturally will bring new relationships into your life.And life will no longer feel so painful that you can only manage "one day at a time" without hurting. You won't need to forget what happened yesterday. | 1 | 390 | <s>[INST] I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. [/INST] Would you describe yourself as sensitive to your surroundings and emotions?If yes, this may explain why letting go of past problems, is itself a problem.The dynamic of living one day at a time and letting go of past problems, is more imaginary and wishful than real.It is a popular notion of TV, FB, and media.Doing the letting go, has nothing to do with what is actually possible to do.Problems are not "let go", they are resolved somehow.Living one day at a time isn't possible for anyone who has consciousness. No one can really disconnect from reality every day on which they wake up.Instead of trying to do the impossible which is promoted online and in media, allow yourself time to recognize what went into creating a problem in your life, in the first place. Understanding problems leads to peacefulness and resolution. Then you will have more freedom to make new relationships.Also, be patient with this process and yourself.If you have deep attachment to painful situations in your life, then possibly now is your time for understanding what went wrong.This is a process which cannot be rushed if it is to be done well.If it is done thoroughly, then you very naturally will bring new relationships into your life.And life will no longer feel so painful that you can only manage "one day at a time" without hurting. You won't need to forget what happened yesterday. </s> |
921 | How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time? | I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-learn-to-let-go-of-past-problems-and-live-one-day-at-a-time | social-relationships | Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | Hi Chapel Hill, I like your goal; research is telling us more and more that one of the most important keys to happiness is having healthy relationships. If we feel successful in that area, it can give us the confidence and hope to tackle anything life throws at us.There are personal barriers we all have to having healthy relationships; it's our "stuff", our "baggage" (not a steam trunk, right...you have a cute little Gucci bag!). You hint that people may have hurt you in the past. Maybe fear says "stay away...hold onto resentment or you will be hurt again!". Resentment, or simply focusing on the past is certainly a barrier to improving any relationship. Learning to forgive ourselves and others is so important. And remember...forgiveness isn't about saying something was okay; it only means "It happened, I can't change that, and I don't want to carry it (anger, hurt, resentment) around anymore, so I let it go." Or...sometimes fear tells us that people won't accept us; this keeps us isolated for sure! But really, all fear wants is power over us. Fear is a trickster! It tells us that if we let go of the past, we will be rejected or hurt. It says "I'm trying to protect you!", but what it REALLY wants is to paralyze and isolate us all so it can feel powerful. Once you pull the sheeps clothing off of fear, you can see that it doesn't help you at all!Once you see where your personal barriers are, and you start to refute those thoughts in your mind, you can begin to build new ideas about yourself and other people that are based on compassion instead of fear... Everyone deserves forgiveness and compassion.No one deserves to be judged by their worst moments.If I look in the rearview mirror, I can't move forward.We are all beautifully imperfect.I can't change the past, but I have the power to make the future good.I wish you the best on your journey! | 1 | 682 | <s>[INST] I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. [/INST] Hi Chapel Hill, I like your goal; research is telling us more and more that one of the most important keys to happiness is having healthy relationships. If we feel successful in that area, it can give us the confidence and hope to tackle anything life throws at us.There are personal barriers we all have to having healthy relationships; it's our "stuff", our "baggage" (not a steam trunk, right...you have a cute little Gucci bag!). You hint that people may have hurt you in the past. Maybe fear says "stay away...hold onto resentment or you will be hurt again!". Resentment, or simply focusing on the past is certainly a barrier to improving any relationship. Learning to forgive ourselves and others is so important. And remember...forgiveness isn't about saying something was okay; it only means "It happened, I can't change that, and I don't want to carry it (anger, hurt, resentment) around anymore, so I let it go." Or...sometimes fear tells us that people won't accept us; this keeps us isolated for sure! But really, all fear wants is power over us. Fear is a trickster! It tells us that if we let go of the past, we will be rejected or hurt. It says "I'm trying to protect you!", but what it REALLY wants is to paralyze and isolate us all so it can feel powerful. Once you pull the sheeps clothing off of fear, you can see that it doesn't help you at all!Once you see where your personal barriers are, and you start to refute those thoughts in your mind, you can begin to build new ideas about yourself and other people that are based on compassion instead of fear... Everyone deserves forgiveness and compassion.No one deserves to be judged by their worst moments.If I look in the rearview mirror, I can't move forward.We are all beautifully imperfect.I can't change the past, but I have the power to make the future good.I wish you the best on your journey! </s> |
921 | How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time? | I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-learn-to-let-go-of-past-problems-and-live-one-day-at-a-time | social-relationships | Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sonya-wilson | Take one day at a time!!! Each day do things that make you happy, moves to a positive place, focusing on the future, give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. Journal at the end of the day of how well you did that day in focusing on these things. Each day should be a step better than the previous day. You will have days that you didn't do as well....that is human and OK. Just get back on track the next day....At the end of the week, review how well you did and give your self a grade. If did well, you deserve ice cream, etc. If not so good, OK....tell yourself next week "got to focus one day at a time". You can do it....it takes practice but will get better each day, I wish you happy days and happy future... | 0 | 44 | <s>[INST] I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. [/INST] Take one day at a time!!! Each day do things that make you happy, moves to a positive place, focusing on the future, give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. Journal at the end of the day of how well you did that day in focusing on these things. Each day should be a step better than the previous day. You will have days that you didn't do as well....that is human and OK. Just get back on track the next day....At the end of the week, review how well you did and give your self a grade. If did well, you deserve ice cream, etc. If not so good, OK....tell yourself next week "got to focus one day at a time". You can do it....it takes practice but will get better each day, I wish you happy days and happy future... </s> |
921 | How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time? | I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-learn-to-let-go-of-past-problems-and-live-one-day-at-a-time | social-relationships | Angie StonesThe future depends of what you do in the present! | https://counselchat.com/therapists/angie-stones | Remember, the past no longer exists and the future is just an illusion as we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so take the present as your guide. That is all we can do, so keep saying this to yourself and try to help someone each day. The happiness is helping others to feel a bit better. | 0 | 912 | <s>[INST] I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present. [/INST] Remember, the past no longer exists and the future is just an illusion as we don't know what will happen tomorrow, so take the present as your guide. That is all we can do, so keep saying this to yourself and try to help someone each day. The happiness is helping others to feel a bit better. </s> |
922 | How can I become more understanding? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-become-more-understanding | social-relationships | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | I like your beautiful question!Start by understanding yourself and your own inner knowledge of who you are and what direction your life must take in order for you to feel comfortable and fulfilled.Understanding oneself is a life long activity, even a necessity so that you are able to sense the truth of another person.As long as you are taking steps in the direction of self-knowing, you will gradually improve and increase the way and the range of understanding of other people and our world.Good luck with your project! | 0 | 303 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] I like your beautiful question!Start by understanding yourself and your own inner knowledge of who you are and what direction your life must take in order for you to feel comfortable and fulfilled.Understanding oneself is a life long activity, even a necessity so that you are able to sense the truth of another person.As long as you are taking steps in the direction of self-knowing, you will gradually improve and increase the way and the range of understanding of other people and our world.Good luck with your project! </s> |
922 | How can I become more understanding? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-become-more-understanding | social-relationships | Lynda MartensMarriage & Family Therapist, MSc, RP, RMFT | https://counselchat.com/therapists/ms-lynda-martens-london-ontario | Man, I love this goal. We could all use a bit more of this. Sometimes I picture it like a salt shaker. I'll write an email, then I'll read it again from the receiver's perspective and sprinkle a bit more understanding on it, and I always like it better. Understanding...compassion...empathy...the world could use a lot more of these things and I love that you want to do your part.What makes you want to be more understanding? Maybe you want to get closer to someone and resentment is in the way? Maybe you tend to get defensive and have trouble listening to and understanding someone? Whatever the reason, let's get you started by having you write down those things in a list. What things will be better in your life if you have more understanding? Get really grounded in why you're doing this. Then let's look at the barriers. What do you risk if you're more understanding? Do you risk feeling vulnerable? Hurt? Attacked? Powerless? Feeling like you're losing? In therapy, you would get help looking at these questions. What are you avoiding feeling? Once you have this answer, then you can easily move to the next step.The next step is working to tolerate that feeling you're avoiding. Tolerating it, and "leaning into it", knowing that it's only a feeling and not a reality...these thoughts can help you relax enough to take that wall down and allow space for other people's truths, not just yours. Once you know where you want to be with your thoughts, it takes practise, repetition, to teach yourself new truths about how safe it is to allow yourself to be more understanding and let the wall come down. It's my guess that, at some point in your life, there was a reason for that wall of yours to be built. Sometimes we build walls as young people and then no one tells us how to take the wall down once we don't need it anymore. We think we still need it. I invite you to consider therapy as you explore these ideas. I wish you the best. | 0 | 407 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Man, I love this goal. We could all use a bit more of this. Sometimes I picture it like a salt shaker. I'll write an email, then I'll read it again from the receiver's perspective and sprinkle a bit more understanding on it, and I always like it better. Understanding...compassion...empathy...the world could use a lot more of these things and I love that you want to do your part.What makes you want to be more understanding? Maybe you want to get closer to someone and resentment is in the way? Maybe you tend to get defensive and have trouble listening to and understanding someone? Whatever the reason, let's get you started by having you write down those things in a list. What things will be better in your life if you have more understanding? Get really grounded in why you're doing this. Then let's look at the barriers. What do you risk if you're more understanding? Do you risk feeling vulnerable? Hurt? Attacked? Powerless? Feeling like you're losing? In therapy, you would get help looking at these questions. What are you avoiding feeling? Once you have this answer, then you can easily move to the next step.The next step is working to tolerate that feeling you're avoiding. Tolerating it, and "leaning into it", knowing that it's only a feeling and not a reality...these thoughts can help you relax enough to take that wall down and allow space for other people's truths, not just yours. Once you know where you want to be with your thoughts, it takes practise, repetition, to teach yourself new truths about how safe it is to allow yourself to be more understanding and let the wall come down. It's my guess that, at some point in your life, there was a reason for that wall of yours to be built. Sometimes we build walls as young people and then no one tells us how to take the wall down once we don't need it anymore. We think we still need it. I invite you to consider therapy as you explore these ideas. I wish you the best. </s> |
923 | I feel like my friends are ganging up on me | In this argument my friends are all against me so I'm wondering if I'm exaggerating my feelings. I feel like I'm being attacked and that is making me blow things out of proportion and taking the role of the victim, when in reality I'm the one being unreasonable and I am simply annoying my reasonable friends. Or are they really being insensitive and not respecting me in our friendship? | https://counselchat.com/questions/i-feel-like-my-friends-are-ganging-up-on-me | social-relationships | Rebecca WongRelationship Therapist & Connectfulness Consultant | https://counselchat.com/therapists/rebecca-wong | Conflict is a tricky beast and shows up in every one of our relationships. What I'm reading is that you find yourself in a loop of seeking validation of your thoughts and feelings from your friends rather than validating yourself. Am I right? If you aren't validating yourself, no one else will be able to either. Try finding a small nugget of truth in the feedback your friends give you, this will help to lower your defenses and help your friends hear what you are really sharing. And then if you are still feeling vulnerable, share that too... | 1 | 201 | <s>[INST] In this argument my friends are all against me so I'm wondering if I'm exaggerating my feelings. I feel like I'm being attacked and that is making me blow things out of proportion and taking the role of the victim, when in reality I'm the one being unreasonable and I am simply annoying my reasonable friends. Or are they really being insensitive and not respecting me in our friendship? [/INST] Conflict is a tricky beast and shows up in every one of our relationships. What I'm reading is that you find yourself in a loop of seeking validation of your thoughts and feelings from your friends rather than validating yourself. Am I right? If you aren't validating yourself, no one else will be able to either. Try finding a small nugget of truth in the feedback your friends give you, this will help to lower your defenses and help your friends hear what you are really sharing. And then if you are still feeling vulnerable, share that too... </s> |
924 | My friends accusing me of having problems | They're calling me names like hypocrite and a baby even when they act in the same manner as I do. I'm tired of being called names. What should I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/my-friends-accusing-me-of-having-problems | social-relationships | Danielle AlvarezLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/danielle-alvarez | It sounds like your confused as to why your friends would be calling you a hypocrite when they act in the same manner, correct? Communication is key to any relationship. I would recommend speaking with your friends face-to-face to address why they feel your behavior is concerning. In-person contact is the best method of sorting out differences considering texts, emails or any written response can be misconstrued. Be upfront with them and let them know that being accused of hypocrisy is hurtful and you feel it is unfounded. If after speaking with them you feel that they have valid reasons for the way they are feeling, maybe you can consider modifying your behavior accordingly. Especially if this friendship is valuable to you. However, make sure they are aware that there is a respectful way to address these issues and name calling is not one of them. On the other hand, if you feel that their reasons are indeed unfounded, it may be best to distance yourself from the relationship. Not all friendships are healthy ones. And it is important that you surround yourself with people who are an asset to your self esteem as opposed to those that hinder it.I hope you are able to get this matter sorted. Best of luck! | 1 | 144 | <s>[INST] They're calling me names like hypocrite and a baby even when they act in the same manner as I do. I'm tired of being called names. What should I do? [/INST] It sounds like your confused as to why your friends would be calling you a hypocrite when they act in the same manner, correct? Communication is key to any relationship. I would recommend speaking with your friends face-to-face to address why they feel your behavior is concerning. In-person contact is the best method of sorting out differences considering texts, emails or any written response can be misconstrued. Be upfront with them and let them know that being accused of hypocrisy is hurtful and you feel it is unfounded. If after speaking with them you feel that they have valid reasons for the way they are feeling, maybe you can consider modifying your behavior accordingly. Especially if this friendship is valuable to you. However, make sure they are aware that there is a respectful way to address these issues and name calling is not one of them. On the other hand, if you feel that their reasons are indeed unfounded, it may be best to distance yourself from the relationship. Not all friendships are healthy ones. And it is important that you surround yourself with people who are an asset to your self esteem as opposed to those that hinder it.I hope you are able to get this matter sorted. Best of luck! </s> |
925 | The child I nanny hates me! | I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-child-i-nanny-hates-me | children-adolescents | Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc | It seems like you are being extra hard on yourself here! The behavior he exhibits is pretty normal for a three year-old. Sounds like he may feel more emotionally dysregulated upon waking and wants one of his love sources to help him stabilize that. It's probably more instinctual and not personal to you.Give yourself some credit for how things are the rest of the day---that's information that you've done well. You even describe that he "loves" you! That's huge!Either way, I'm sure it's jarring to go through that in the mornings. Is there a routine you use to help him make that transition? I don't know what his parents' rules are, but there could be some ways to incorporate some predictable structure. Maybe that means his favorite toy/stuffed animal paired with his favorite cartoon. You seem very caring, so it's probably likely you are already offering some compassionate response to his upset. It may help to have him take a couple deep breaths with you if he's able to help self-regulate. He may not be responsive to that and that's OK. Either way, it sounds like this is only happening upon waking.Another thought--do his parents know this is happening? Maybe they have some ideas about how to help soothe him or perhaps they have some strategies they can use the night before (e.g., talking to him about the emotions of the morning hours). Let yourself off the hook though--you seem to be doing a wonderful job with this kiddo! | 0 | 26 | <s>[INST] I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? [/INST] It seems like you are being extra hard on yourself here! The behavior he exhibits is pretty normal for a three year-old. Sounds like he may feel more emotionally dysregulated upon waking and wants one of his love sources to help him stabilize that. It's probably more instinctual and not personal to you.Give yourself some credit for how things are the rest of the day---that's information that you've done well. You even describe that he "loves" you! That's huge!Either way, I'm sure it's jarring to go through that in the mornings. Is there a routine you use to help him make that transition? I don't know what his parents' rules are, but there could be some ways to incorporate some predictable structure. Maybe that means his favorite toy/stuffed animal paired with his favorite cartoon. You seem very caring, so it's probably likely you are already offering some compassionate response to his upset. It may help to have him take a couple deep breaths with you if he's able to help self-regulate. He may not be responsive to that and that's OK. Either way, it sounds like this is only happening upon waking.Another thought--do his parents know this is happening? Maybe they have some ideas about how to help soothe him or perhaps they have some strategies they can use the night before (e.g., talking to him about the emotions of the morning hours). Let yourself off the hook though--you seem to be doing a wonderful job with this kiddo! </s> |
925 | The child I nanny hates me! | I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-child-i-nanny-hates-me | children-adolescents | Nikkita StonnerTrauma Guru | https://counselchat.com/therapists/nikkita-stonner | It doesn't sound like he hates you, just misses mom and dad in the mornings. You could validate his feelings by saying something like "I know you want to see mom and dad right now, but they are working" and then give him a couple options of things that may take his mind off of it. This could be choosing what he has for breakfast or playing a game of his choice. If possible, it may also be helpful if you could create a routine in which he stops by mom and dad to say good morning. If this is routine, he will come to understand that he will be able to see mom and dad for a minute and not become anxious about seeing them. | 0 | 672 | <s>[INST] I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? [/INST] It doesn't sound like he hates you, just misses mom and dad in the mornings. You could validate his feelings by saying something like "I know you want to see mom and dad right now, but they are working" and then give him a couple options of things that may take his mind off of it. This could be choosing what he has for breakfast or playing a game of his choice. If possible, it may also be helpful if you could create a routine in which he stops by mom and dad to say good morning. If this is routine, he will come to understand that he will be able to see mom and dad for a minute and not become anxious about seeing them. </s> |
925 | The child I nanny hates me! | I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-child-i-nanny-hates-me | children-adolescents | Amy Higgs OTR/L, CLT, CAPSMobile Occupational Therapist: sensory bus for children with ASD, SPD, ADD/ADHD and trauma | https://counselchat.com/therapists/amy-higgs-otr-l-clt-caps | Be lighthearted, this toddler may not be a morning person! He is most likely wanting to connect with either parent when he arises in the morning. It could be helpful to talk with his parents and establish a routine that he would be comfortable with. | 0 | 128 | <s>[INST] I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? [/INST] Be lighthearted, this toddler may not be a morning person! He is most likely wanting to connect with either parent when he arises in the morning. It could be helpful to talk with his parents and establish a routine that he would be comfortable with. </s> |
925 | The child I nanny hates me! | I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/the-child-i-nanny-hates-me | children-adolescents | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | It is very likely the child is upset by the fact that the parents have left, more than that he hates you in particular.The fact that by afternoon he is happy with you shows more likelihood that he reacts to the parents departure more than who you are. | 0 | 152 | <s>[INST] I nanny a three year old. When he wakes up in the morning he calls out for someone to come get him. If I am the one to go get him out of bed he gets really upset and refuses to let me near him. He screams that he wants his mom or dad (they work from home). The rest of the day he loves me. But not in the mornings.
What can I do? [/INST] It is very likely the child is upset by the fact that the parents have left, more than that he hates you in particular.The fact that by afternoon he is happy with you shows more likelihood that he reacts to the parents departure more than who you are. </s> |
926 | How do I deal with bullying at school? | I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-bullying-at-school | children-adolescents | Kelly Mulroy, LMHC, NCC, DCCClinical Hypnosis and Psychotherapy | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kelly-mulroy-lmhc-ncc-dcc | That's a very difficult situation that you are in. But you are not alone. I have several school-aged clients who find little to no assistance from their teachers at their schools regarding bullying.There are a few options that are available to you to help deal with being bullied at school. One option that I would suggest is for you to talk to your support network. Friends and family can sometimes be good sources of support. Another option would be to speak with us about your counselor, if you have one. And third, there are some excellent online sources of support regarding the bullying at school (www.stopbullying.org). | 1 | 144 | <s>[INST] I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? [/INST] That's a very difficult situation that you are in. But you are not alone. I have several school-aged clients who find little to no assistance from their teachers at their schools regarding bullying.There are a few options that are available to you to help deal with being bullied at school. One option that I would suggest is for you to talk to your support network. Friends and family can sometimes be good sources of support. Another option would be to speak with us about your counselor, if you have one. And third, there are some excellent online sources of support regarding the bullying at school (www.stopbullying.org). </s> |
926 | How do I deal with bullying at school? | I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-bullying-at-school | children-adolescents | Kaileen McMickle, MS, LPCLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kaileen-mcmickle-ms-lpc | I used to do sessions in the middle school where I live and it's an epidemic. Many schools struggle to address these problems and leave people like you feeling alone and lost. I'm so sorry you have to go through that.Do they physically hurt you? Not that emotional pain isn't just as worse, but sometimes adults act quicker when someone is assaulting you. You can also report them if you feel comfortable (enough) to. Police involvement may be suitable if you fear for your physical safety.No matter what you choose, there are some things you can do. One is very hard but also really effective long-term---don't react to them at all. I don't know if this is one person or a number of people, but they are getting a reward every time they bully you--your reaction. That does not mean their actions are your fault or that you share any of the responsibility for how they treat you. Their actions are their poor choice, never yours...that's why you are reaching out for help! When you stop giving them a reaction, "comeback", etc., they may try to step it up in order to get a response from you. If you continue to ignore them, after a time bullies tend to stop the behavior because they are no longer being rewarded for being mean. If they start physically hurting you or hurt you worse than before, I would really challenge you to talk to someone so you are at least safe.If you don't feel like that's possible or it turns out to be unhelpful, reaching out to people you trust or asking your parents for help with finding a counselor could be beneficial for you. Being bullied can make you feel really alone, so it's very important to have someone to talk to that you trust. Sounds like you have been needing this for a long time.I'm not sure if you are in middle school or high school, but some schools offer activities or clubs that focus on building certain skills or interests. Sometimes this can help you find your people when you feel like you don't belong anywhere. It can also help to make you more confident in something you do, which can reflect as confidence to others.It's also important to ask yourself when you have felt strong in the past or recently. What gives you strength? Is it a hobby, a friend, a pet? Or is it what you know about yourself, like a value you have or your morals? Even turning your awful experiences into something meaningful (e.g., creating an anti-bullying group, standing up for others, etc.) can contribute to the feeling of strength or resilience. You are already seeking help at a young age, which is amazing and also hard. There's some part of you that is fighting for yourself, so whatever you do next know that that exists in you! | 0 | 104 | <s>[INST] I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? [/INST] I used to do sessions in the middle school where I live and it's an epidemic. Many schools struggle to address these problems and leave people like you feeling alone and lost. I'm so sorry you have to go through that.Do they physically hurt you? Not that emotional pain isn't just as worse, but sometimes adults act quicker when someone is assaulting you. You can also report them if you feel comfortable (enough) to. Police involvement may be suitable if you fear for your physical safety.No matter what you choose, there are some things you can do. One is very hard but also really effective long-term---don't react to them at all. I don't know if this is one person or a number of people, but they are getting a reward every time they bully you--your reaction. That does not mean their actions are your fault or that you share any of the responsibility for how they treat you. Their actions are their poor choice, never yours...that's why you are reaching out for help! When you stop giving them a reaction, "comeback", etc., they may try to step it up in order to get a response from you. If you continue to ignore them, after a time bullies tend to stop the behavior because they are no longer being rewarded for being mean. If they start physically hurting you or hurt you worse than before, I would really challenge you to talk to someone so you are at least safe.If you don't feel like that's possible or it turns out to be unhelpful, reaching out to people you trust or asking your parents for help with finding a counselor could be beneficial for you. Being bullied can make you feel really alone, so it's very important to have someone to talk to that you trust. Sounds like you have been needing this for a long time.I'm not sure if you are in middle school or high school, but some schools offer activities or clubs that focus on building certain skills or interests. Sometimes this can help you find your people when you feel like you don't belong anywhere. It can also help to make you more confident in something you do, which can reflect as confidence to others.It's also important to ask yourself when you have felt strong in the past or recently. What gives you strength? Is it a hobby, a friend, a pet? Or is it what you know about yourself, like a value you have or your morals? Even turning your awful experiences into something meaningful (e.g., creating an anti-bullying group, standing up for others, etc.) can contribute to the feeling of strength or resilience. You are already seeking help at a young age, which is amazing and also hard. There's some part of you that is fighting for yourself, so whatever you do next know that that exists in you! </s> |
926 | How do I deal with bullying at school? | I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-bullying-at-school | children-adolescents | Dr. Timothy Paul'man'; Online - "Natural Health Consultant and Coach" | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-timothy-paul | Teachers don't do anything about it due to liability of the school (school and faculty would get sued and have claims made against them); wouldn't expect much out of them;Couple things:1) Realize that bullies accuse others of the very crimes they are doing themselves;2) Bullies aren't actually all that weak as others have said, but do not stand up against constant pressure of truth-telling;3) Research yourself, or pay someone, to locate the bully's mother and father, and let them know what you have experienced (by way of text, phone, letter, etc.);4) Access your own mother and father and tell them what you have experienced, and see if they will help;Long term, society must return to a more masculine way of being such that these sorts of troubles are dealt with at the home :)Learn to be man/woman, and watch the magic happen. | 0 | 105 | <s>[INST] I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? [/INST] Teachers don't do anything about it due to liability of the school (school and faculty would get sued and have claims made against them); wouldn't expect much out of them;Couple things:1) Realize that bullies accuse others of the very crimes they are doing themselves;2) Bullies aren't actually all that weak as others have said, but do not stand up against constant pressure of truth-telling;3) Research yourself, or pay someone, to locate the bully's mother and father, and let them know what you have experienced (by way of text, phone, letter, etc.);4) Access your own mother and father and tell them what you have experienced, and see if they will help;Long term, society must return to a more masculine way of being such that these sorts of troubles are dealt with at the home :)Learn to be man/woman, and watch the magic happen. </s> |
926 | How do I deal with bullying at school? | I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-i-deal-with-bullying-at-school | children-adolescents | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | To be bullied is very painful.I'm glad you know the bullies are doing the wrong thing and whatever they are telling you is pure meanness.Depending on how independent you feel, why not tell either your classroom teacher or schedule an appointment with the vice principal?Bullying other students is taken very seriously in some states and schools are expected to address the bullying until the victimized student feels safe.If you hesitate to do this on your own, then would you ask either of your parents or even a friend of yours who is also in the school, to report the problem?In case you are afraid the bullies will retaliate for reporting them, then tell this to whatever school authority you decide to ask for help.You're entitled to be protected by your school. | 0 | 64 | <s>[INST] I've been bullied for years and the teachers have done nothing about it. I haven't been diagnosed with depression, but i have been extremely sad for years.
How can I deal with being bullied at school when the teachers won't help? [/INST] To be bullied is very painful.I'm glad you know the bullies are doing the wrong thing and whatever they are telling you is pure meanness.Depending on how independent you feel, why not tell either your classroom teacher or schedule an appointment with the vice principal?Bullying other students is taken very seriously in some states and schools are expected to address the bullying until the victimized student feels safe.If you hesitate to do this on your own, then would you ask either of your parents or even a friend of yours who is also in the school, to report the problem?In case you are afraid the bullies will retaliate for reporting them, then tell this to whatever school authority you decide to ask for help.You're entitled to be protected by your school. </s> |
927 | How can I see my base doctor without my ID? | I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-see-my-base-doctor-without-my-id | military-issues | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | You should be able to get a replacement ID card either from the Personnel Office on your local base (the actual name of this office will vary depending on which branch of the military it is). You may also be required to go to the Military Police or Security office on base to report the loss of your old ID card. | 2 | 2,342 | <s>[INST] I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? [/INST] You should be able to get a replacement ID card either from the Personnel Office on your local base (the actual name of this office will vary depending on which branch of the military it is). You may also be required to go to the Military Police or Security office on base to report the loss of your old ID card. </s> |
927 | How can I see my base doctor without my ID? | I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-see-my-base-doctor-without-my-id | military-issues | Danielle AlvarezLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/danielle-alvarez | Do you have any other form of identification? The first place to stop would be the Visitor’s Center or whichever department issues passes. They are located outside of the gate so you do not need a military ID to enter. If you have another form of identification it’s possible that they can give you a pass in order to go and obtain a new military ID. If you do not, you could always ask someone else to sponsor you on (a friend, coworker, etc.) that have military access. Depending on the threat level, they may not need your ID as long as you are with someone that has access. Keep in mind that currently (6/11/15) all military bases are on Bravo which unfortunately means you will need your own ID.Finally, if all else fails, call your doctor and explain your situation. I’m sure they would be more than willing to discuss your options.Also, it’s important to make sure that you report your wallet being stolen if you haven’t already. Security Forces on base can help you with this and to ensure your ID doesn’t get into the wrong hands. Good luck! | 1 | 606 | <s>[INST] I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? [/INST] Do you have any other form of identification? The first place to stop would be the Visitor’s Center or whichever department issues passes. They are located outside of the gate so you do not need a military ID to enter. If you have another form of identification it’s possible that they can give you a pass in order to go and obtain a new military ID. If you do not, you could always ask someone else to sponsor you on (a friend, coworker, etc.) that have military access. Depending on the threat level, they may not need your ID as long as you are with someone that has access. Keep in mind that currently (6/11/15) all military bases are on Bravo which unfortunately means you will need your own ID.Finally, if all else fails, call your doctor and explain your situation. I’m sure they would be more than willing to discuss your options.Also, it’s important to make sure that you report your wallet being stolen if you haven’t already. Security Forces on base can help you with this and to ensure your ID doesn’t get into the wrong hands. Good luck! </s> |
927 | How can I see my base doctor without my ID? | I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-can-i-see-my-base-doctor-without-my-id | military-issues | Mindy RossWe get there together one step at a time. | https://counselchat.com/therapists/mindy-ross | As a prior military spouse myself I can happily report that you have several options in this case. First, you can go to the visitors center and let them know what has happened to get a temporary pass for a new id. Also, you can call the squadron commander or other official from your husband's unit to get them to tell you how to proceed. You can also contact the military personnel flight for more information The best thing is to get a new id as soon as you can. There should be no problems because it was stolen and yu might need to report it to the military police or security forces on base. | 0 | 221 | <s>[INST] I need to get on base to see my doctor. My ID card was in my wallet which was stolen. I’m unable to reach my husband at this time. He is only one who can take me on base in order to get a new ID so I can continue to see doctor. Is there anything I can do? [/INST] As a prior military spouse myself I can happily report that you have several options in this case. First, you can go to the visitors center and let them know what has happened to get a temporary pass for a new id. Also, you can call the squadron commander or other official from your husband's unit to get them to tell you how to proceed. You can also contact the military personnel flight for more information The best thing is to get a new id as soon as you can. There should be no problems because it was stolen and yu might need to report it to the military police or security forces on base. </s> |
928 | What would happen if I got caught cutting myself in school? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/what-would-happen-if-i-got-caught-cutting-myself-in-school | self-harm | Leonard PikaardWhen you're ready, help is here. | https://counselchat.com/therapists/leonard-pikaard | Firstly, I am so sorry for the stressful things in your life that make you feel like you may want to self-harm. There are many ways you can get help, including talking to a friend, family member, school counselor or independent therapist. You can even reach out for free over text to Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741Although it is hard to accurately predict what might happen if someone cut themselves in school, the response could be anywhere from something as minimal as a conversation (unlikely) to as severe as being admitted to a hospital or psychiatric ward. It is brave of you to reach out for information and help; please keep doing so, and take good care of yourself. | 0 | 201 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Firstly, I am so sorry for the stressful things in your life that make you feel like you may want to self-harm. There are many ways you can get help, including talking to a friend, family member, school counselor or independent therapist. You can even reach out for free over text to Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741Although it is hard to accurately predict what might happen if someone cut themselves in school, the response could be anywhere from something as minimal as a conversation (unlikely) to as severe as being admitted to a hospital or psychiatric ward. It is brave of you to reach out for information and help; please keep doing so, and take good care of yourself. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Brenda Whelan, LMHCMind, Body, Spirit Counseling | https://counselchat.com/therapists/brenda-whelan-lmhc | I think we all go through a period of time where we think we aren't worth anything. Sometimes these feelings are a result of low self esteem or because of shame. The most important part of dealing with this thought is to separate feelings from reality. "I don't feel worth anything, but I know what I do is important, I know who I am matters to others. I know I am loved and cared about."When you find yourself having these thoughts, stop, take a few deep breaths and try to reframe what you're thinking. | 2 | 1,446 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] I think we all go through a period of time where we think we aren't worth anything. Sometimes these feelings are a result of low self esteem or because of shame. The most important part of dealing with this thought is to separate feelings from reality. "I don't feel worth anything, but I know what I do is important, I know who I am matters to others. I know I am loved and cared about."When you find yourself having these thoughts, stop, take a few deep breaths and try to reframe what you're thinking. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Dr. Meredyth LawrynceServing Clients Nationwide | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-meredyth-lawrynce | You are valid. It is very unnerving when thoughts control your life. One way to combat them is to figure out whose voice the words are said in. Oftentimes people say things to us and it stays with us, and it is not often true. We let others’ opinions penetrate our brains and live rent-free in our heads. You could try to rewrite the thoughts, the negative thoughts, rewrite them in a positive way. For example “you are not worth anything” you could rewrite that in a way that shows all the ways you are worthy. Write all your accomplishments, and things you have overcome and proof that you are in fact worthy because you are! You can Interrupt the thought, focus, redirect elsewhere. If you are replaying a specific moment you could go back into that moment and retell the moment, rewrite the moment so that it is what you would rather it have been. Your mind does not know anything other than what we feed it. Feed and integrate more positive thoughts and actions into your routine to possibly see a positive change, a change for the better! This video could be beneficial for you ▶ Negotiating With Inner Critic | 0 | 22 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] You are valid. It is very unnerving when thoughts control your life. One way to combat them is to figure out whose voice the words are said in. Oftentimes people say things to us and it stays with us, and it is not often true. We let others’ opinions penetrate our brains and live rent-free in our heads. You could try to rewrite the thoughts, the negative thoughts, rewrite them in a positive way. For example “you are not worth anything” you could rewrite that in a way that shows all the ways you are worthy. Write all your accomplishments, and things you have overcome and proof that you are in fact worthy because you are! You can Interrupt the thought, focus, redirect elsewhere. If you are replaying a specific moment you could go back into that moment and retell the moment, rewrite the moment so that it is what you would rather it have been. Your mind does not know anything other than what we feed it. Feed and integrate more positive thoughts and actions into your routine to possibly see a positive change, a change for the better! This video could be beneficial for you ▶ Negotiating With Inner Critic </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Dr Traci KochendorferTime for you to " Claim IT" with over 15 years in health and wellness, Ph.D Psy.D D.D. F.P.L.C. recognized on TV and Magazines, | https://counselchat.com/therapists/dr-traci-kochendorfer | Sending your some positive vibes ✨🙌 it seems that REBT could be helpful or cognitive therapy. First get a check up to see if there is any under lining medical issues. Medical Intuitive scan or CAT scan. blood tests etc... then go from there. You may need some help chemically then start talk therapy. | 0 | 61 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Sending your some positive vibes ✨🙌 it seems that REBT could be helpful or cognitive therapy. First get a check up to see if there is any under lining medical issues. Medical Intuitive scan or CAT scan. blood tests etc... then go from there. You may need some help chemically then start talk therapy. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Michele RameyMRTherapy, LLC- Because Help Is One Of A Kind | https://counselchat.com/therapists/michele-ramey | Sounds like off the top of my head you are definitely experiencing Automatic Negative Thoughts. They just pop into your head, right? You don't even want them to come. Those are ANTs and the only to get rid of ANTs is to exterminate them! There are so many ways to exterminate them. I wonder where to they reside? Your head, stomach, arms, etc? There's a part of you where they reside. It sounds like it's time to explore those parts of you and to exterminate the ANTs. Connect with someone here. Brainspotting/Bodyspotting Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Psychodrama Therapy or even inner child work could be very helpful. Hopefully this helps! | 0 | 67 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Sounds like off the top of my head you are definitely experiencing Automatic Negative Thoughts. They just pop into your head, right? You don't even want them to come. Those are ANTs and the only to get rid of ANTs is to exterminate them! There are so many ways to exterminate them. I wonder where to they reside? Your head, stomach, arms, etc? There's a part of you where they reside. It sounds like it's time to explore those parts of you and to exterminate the ANTs. Connect with someone here. Brainspotting/Bodyspotting Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Psychodrama Therapy or even inner child work could be very helpful. Hopefully this helps! </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Christina McGrath Fair"Enlightenment is when a wave realizes it is the ocean." -Thich Nhat Hanh | https://counselchat.com/therapists/christina-mcgrath-fair | There is nothing wrong with you! Sometimes we get intrusive thoughts that can be worrisome. One things that can be helpful is to identify if there is a trigger to these thoughts - something in your life that makes these thoughts more common (an experience, a person, a place, a situation, etc.). It will also be helpful to try and challenge this type of thinking by focusing on ways in which you are worthwhile as a person and have worth in your life. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) may be particularly helpful with this, also. If you are open to seeing a therapist, find one that does CBT. You can also find resources on CBT online. It focuses on stopping and challenging unhelpful and harmful thinking patterns and replacing it with more helpful and healthy thinking patterns. | 0 | 72 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] There is nothing wrong with you! Sometimes we get intrusive thoughts that can be worrisome. One things that can be helpful is to identify if there is a trigger to these thoughts - something in your life that makes these thoughts more common (an experience, a person, a place, a situation, etc.). It will also be helpful to try and challenge this type of thinking by focusing on ways in which you are worthwhile as a person and have worth in your life. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) may be particularly helpful with this, also. If you are open to seeing a therapist, find one that does CBT. You can also find resources on CBT online. It focuses on stopping and challenging unhelpful and harmful thinking patterns and replacing it with more helpful and healthy thinking patterns. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Siena Blanco, MS LCPCBe transformed by the renewing of your mind... | https://counselchat.com/therapists/siena-blanco-ms-lcpc | We all suffer from random thoughts from time to time. Being able to manage your thoughts and choose what to think about yourself is something you would learn in counseling. An effective treatment modality for this situation is cognitive behavioral therapy. | 0 | 235 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] We all suffer from random thoughts from time to time. Being able to manage your thoughts and choose what to think about yourself is something you would learn in counseling. An effective treatment modality for this situation is cognitive behavioral therapy. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Kevin MimmsBuilding Better Connections | https://counselchat.com/therapists/kevin-mimms | A lot of times the thoughts we have about ourselves are messages we have received from other people and later internalized them. So in that sense, these thoughts are yours and belong to you, but you have received these messages from somebody else. Even though we all receive messages like this at times, it pays to be careful not to ignore other messages we are receiving, such as a loved one appreciating your help or attention, a friend responding to encouragement, or a colleague showing interest in you. I hope this helps. | 0 | 158 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] A lot of times the thoughts we have about ourselves are messages we have received from other people and later internalized them. So in that sense, these thoughts are yours and belong to you, but you have received these messages from somebody else. Even though we all receive messages like this at times, it pays to be careful not to ignore other messages we are receiving, such as a loved one appreciating your help or attention, a friend responding to encouragement, or a colleague showing interest in you. I hope this helps. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | David KleinHumanistic, LGBT-Affirmative Psychotherapy for Individuals & Couples | https://counselchat.com/therapists/david-klein | Those kinds of thoughts can be quite difficult to handle, but if they are your own thoughts (and not voices you are hearing, which can be very different), they likely are not new to you. From what I've learned from clients I work with, often these thoughts have been quite useful for them over the course of their lives, that through criticizing oneself, it is a way of motivating oneself. However, in your case and in most of those clients, it has caught up to them and it's almost like they no longer need the motivation (that they can do just fine motivating themselves by themselves!)I think it's important to see these thoughts as the voice of the "inner critic." That inner critic was there for a long time, again, because "it" (I like to identify it as a thing inside of you) thought that you needed motivation in the form of criticism to stay on task with your life. But now that that kind of sentiment is no longer needed by you, it might be time to have a different kind of relationship with it. But it wants to be heard. It doesn't want to silenced (Or "stopped" in your words.) So instead of trying to ignore it, perhaps we can see all the ways you are worth something and internalize (take in, let those ways resonate with you, sit with them, think about them) so that the inner critic can see that it isn't quite correct in what it is saying. In essence, you are instead sitting with the thoughts or worthiness instead of worthlessness.If that is challenging, sometimes seeing someone who is objective, such as a therapist, can be helpful. They can help you see the ways in which you are strong, have resilience, as well as any positive attributes that might be hard to see in the face of this loud inner critic. And, above all, if you feel like this doesn't resonate for you, and that the voices might actually be voices, an evaluation should be sought to further tease out what sorts of symptoms you are experiencing. | 0 | 122 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Those kinds of thoughts can be quite difficult to handle, but if they are your own thoughts (and not voices you are hearing, which can be very different), they likely are not new to you. From what I've learned from clients I work with, often these thoughts have been quite useful for them over the course of their lives, that through criticizing oneself, it is a way of motivating oneself. However, in your case and in most of those clients, it has caught up to them and it's almost like they no longer need the motivation (that they can do just fine motivating themselves by themselves!)I think it's important to see these thoughts as the voice of the "inner critic." That inner critic was there for a long time, again, because "it" (I like to identify it as a thing inside of you) thought that you needed motivation in the form of criticism to stay on task with your life. But now that that kind of sentiment is no longer needed by you, it might be time to have a different kind of relationship with it. But it wants to be heard. It doesn't want to silenced (Or "stopped" in your words.) So instead of trying to ignore it, perhaps we can see all the ways you are worth something and internalize (take in, let those ways resonate with you, sit with them, think about them) so that the inner critic can see that it isn't quite correct in what it is saying. In essence, you are instead sitting with the thoughts or worthiness instead of worthlessness.If that is challenging, sometimes seeing someone who is objective, such as a therapist, can be helpful. They can help you see the ways in which you are strong, have resilience, as well as any positive attributes that might be hard to see in the face of this loud inner critic. And, above all, if you feel like this doesn't resonate for you, and that the voices might actually be voices, an evaluation should be sought to further tease out what sorts of symptoms you are experiencing. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Brenda HenningHere to help you get better | https://counselchat.com/therapists/brenda-henning | We have thousands of thoughts a day. Some thoughts we choose to think, and some thoughts are random as you describe. We can't control the first random thought but as soon as we become aware of it we can make a conscious choice to change the thought. Positive affirmations are messages we intentionally read to or tell ourselves to help us counteract negative thoughts. If you find yourself under stress on some days more than others you may notice an increase of these negative thoughts about yourself. To help you neutralize your negative thoughts and make it more natural to randomly think positive thoughts about yourself you might find it helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. This professional can help you build insight into your errors in thinking, help you develop a stress management plan, and provide you with additional tools to boost your self-esteem. | 0 | 86 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] We have thousands of thoughts a day. Some thoughts we choose to think, and some thoughts are random as you describe. We can't control the first random thought but as soon as we become aware of it we can make a conscious choice to change the thought. Positive affirmations are messages we intentionally read to or tell ourselves to help us counteract negative thoughts. If you find yourself under stress on some days more than others you may notice an increase of these negative thoughts about yourself. To help you neutralize your negative thoughts and make it more natural to randomly think positive thoughts about yourself you might find it helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. This professional can help you build insight into your errors in thinking, help you develop a stress management plan, and provide you with additional tools to boost your self-esteem. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Elaine AlysonPsychotherapy and EMDR | https://counselchat.com/therapists/elaine-alyson | Many people have thoughts like those you describe, and often it feels like someone else is saying it because they are things that may have been said to you when you were very young. When young children hear negative things about themselves they tend to internalize these negative ideas and to form negative core beliefs. The good news is we can learn to stop these thoughts and to replace them with healthier thoughts. The first step is to catch yourself when you are thinking these thoughts, and to stay "stop!"; then replace it with another thought. So for instance, maybe you fail a test or get rejected by a romantic interest. You catch yourself saying "you aren't worth anything". Stop this thought, and replace it with "You didn't do as well on that test as you would have liked. Let's figure out how you can do better next time." Or "she may not want to go out with you, but someone else will". So the idea is to develop a voice of a "friend", who can tell you the kind of things you would say to your own best friend. You might also pick up the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns. He gives many tips for how to change Negative Self Talk. | 0 | 117 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Many people have thoughts like those you describe, and often it feels like someone else is saying it because they are things that may have been said to you when you were very young. When young children hear negative things about themselves they tend to internalize these negative ideas and to form negative core beliefs. The good news is we can learn to stop these thoughts and to replace them with healthier thoughts. The first step is to catch yourself when you are thinking these thoughts, and to stay "stop!"; then replace it with another thought. So for instance, maybe you fail a test or get rejected by a romantic interest. You catch yourself saying "you aren't worth anything". Stop this thought, and replace it with "You didn't do as well on that test as you would have liked. Let's figure out how you can do better next time." Or "she may not want to go out with you, but someone else will". So the idea is to develop a voice of a "friend", who can tell you the kind of things you would say to your own best friend. You might also pick up the book, Feeling Good, by David Burns. He gives many tips for how to change Negative Self Talk. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Manya KhoddamiI aspire to inspire you to tap into your own inner potentials and transform symptoms to strengths. | https://counselchat.com/therapists/manya-khoddami | Talking to a licensed profession who can discuss this in greater depth can be best. As a general information, in short, I can say that our thoughts are greatly influenced by our early life experiences. Our thoughts are processed through schemes, these are mental images or templates by which we make meaning of the world around us. While our upbringing has a great influence on the way we see and interact with the world around us as adults, However, we are not condemned to abide by them for life, in psychotherapy, you learn to change negative schemas with positive ones. Yeah, if you had less than optimal childhood you would have some sort of negative schemas that unconsciously lead to self-sabotage your efforts for success and happiness. The research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology suggests that without conscious awareness and reflective practices we tend to interact with the world by repeating old habits of mind. On the other hand, in psychotherapy you can learn helpful strategies to increase your conscious abilities to stay in control of your mind in the present moment and reduce intrusions of negative mind habits. Yoga, meditation, and tai chi are also found to increase self-awareness and lessen the intrusions of negative self-judgment on one's psyche. | 0 | 95 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Talking to a licensed profession who can discuss this in greater depth can be best. As a general information, in short, I can say that our thoughts are greatly influenced by our early life experiences. Our thoughts are processed through schemes, these are mental images or templates by which we make meaning of the world around us. While our upbringing has a great influence on the way we see and interact with the world around us as adults, However, we are not condemned to abide by them for life, in psychotherapy, you learn to change negative schemas with positive ones. Yeah, if you had less than optimal childhood you would have some sort of negative schemas that unconsciously lead to self-sabotage your efforts for success and happiness. The research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology suggests that without conscious awareness and reflective practices we tend to interact with the world by repeating old habits of mind. On the other hand, in psychotherapy you can learn helpful strategies to increase your conscious abilities to stay in control of your mind in the present moment and reduce intrusions of negative mind habits. Yoga, meditation, and tai chi are also found to increase self-awareness and lessen the intrusions of negative self-judgment on one's psyche. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Vikas KeshriRecovery from mental illness is possible | https://counselchat.com/therapists/vikas-keshri | Life is beautiful without unwanted thoughts and stress. With proper strategies and tools it is possible to regain control over your thoughts. I guess you are just having "thoughts" and not actually "hearing voices"? My suggestion is to see a therapist and go from there. | 0 | 85 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Life is beautiful without unwanted thoughts and stress. With proper strategies and tools it is possible to regain control over your thoughts. I guess you are just having "thoughts" and not actually "hearing voices"? My suggestion is to see a therapist and go from there. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Jenifer FinkelsteinNCC, LPCC 44 | https://counselchat.com/therapists/jenifer-finkelstein | First off, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, having random thoughts we feel we cannot control is actually quite common and normal. Sometimes our thoughts think they are protecting us (if we think we aren't worth anything, it won't hurt when we get rejected) but they are actually doing quite the opposite. They are keeping us "stuck" and creating a self-prophization. (If I think I am not worth anything, I don't have to try, and I will keep proving to myself that I am not worth anything). There are many techniques to work through and start to change our negative self-talk. There are actually many self-help workbooks that can help with this as well. A technique I like to use is meditation or mindfulness. This can teach us to accept our thoughts (not fight them) and then learn to let them go. Release the power they have on us. If we can learn to release these and not ruminate on them, this will give us the space to allow more positive and supportive thoughts to come in. Mantras can help with this as well (I AM worth a lot, I AM important, I have value). Saying these to yourself everyday over and over (even if at first you don't believe) can retrain our brains to believe it (and allow us to believe it). I have even wrote positive mantras to myself in my bathroom mirror so I am forced to look at these throughout the day.Please remember to not be hard on yourself as you begin to attempt to change the automatic thought patterns. It took a while for you to get where you are and it will take a while for this change to kick in and feel normal. So allow the process to happen slowly and allow yourself to accept you as the amazing and brave person you are. | 0 | 974 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] First off, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, having random thoughts we feel we cannot control is actually quite common and normal. Sometimes our thoughts think they are protecting us (if we think we aren't worth anything, it won't hurt when we get rejected) but they are actually doing quite the opposite. They are keeping us "stuck" and creating a self-prophization. (If I think I am not worth anything, I don't have to try, and I will keep proving to myself that I am not worth anything). There are many techniques to work through and start to change our negative self-talk. There are actually many self-help workbooks that can help with this as well. A technique I like to use is meditation or mindfulness. This can teach us to accept our thoughts (not fight them) and then learn to let them go. Release the power they have on us. If we can learn to release these and not ruminate on them, this will give us the space to allow more positive and supportive thoughts to come in. Mantras can help with this as well (I AM worth a lot, I AM important, I have value). Saying these to yourself everyday over and over (even if at first you don't believe) can retrain our brains to believe it (and allow us to believe it). I have even wrote positive mantras to myself in my bathroom mirror so I am forced to look at these throughout the day.Please remember to not be hard on yourself as you begin to attempt to change the automatic thought patterns. It took a while for you to get where you are and it will take a while for this change to kick in and feel normal. So allow the process to happen slowly and allow yourself to accept you as the amazing and brave person you are. </s> |
929 | Why can't I stop these thoughts? | I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | https://counselchat.com/questions/why-can-t-i-stop-these-thoughts | diagnosis | Sherry Katz, LCSWCouples and Family Therapist, LCSW | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sherry-katz-lcsw | Those critical thoughts most likely came into your mind as the way you understood what one of your parents or some other adult who was very meaningful to you, at a very young age.When we are too young to distinguish whether what a grown person tells us, feels accurate, we absorb their opinions as our own.Your question shows you've reached the point of emotional maturity to know that your opinion about yourself is not the same as what is inside your emotional brain and stored there since you were too young to know that someone else's opinions are not necessarily your opinions.Nothing is wrong with you, everything is right with you to wonder how to more firmly establish your own point of view.Start the habit to revise any viewpoints about yourself which don't feel true.Then replace these thoughts with better ones which you decide on your own.After a while of doing this you'll either automatically think the more positive thoughts about yourself or at least be in the habit to know that negative viewpoints about you are not necessarily true. | 0 | 740 | <s>[INST] I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? [/INST] Those critical thoughts most likely came into your mind as the way you understood what one of your parents or some other adult who was very meaningful to you, at a very young age.When we are too young to distinguish whether what a grown person tells us, feels accurate, we absorb their opinions as our own.Your question shows you've reached the point of emotional maturity to know that your opinion about yourself is not the same as what is inside your emotional brain and stored there since you were too young to know that someone else's opinions are not necessarily your opinions.Nothing is wrong with you, everything is right with you to wonder how to more firmly establish your own point of view.Start the habit to revise any viewpoints about yourself which don't feel true.Then replace these thoughts with better ones which you decide on your own.After a while of doing this you'll either automatically think the more positive thoughts about yourself or at least be in the habit to know that negative viewpoints about you are not necessarily true. </s> |
930 | How does a counselor diagnose someone with a disorder? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-a-counselor-diagnose-someone-with-a-disorder | diagnosis | Vivian D. Echevarria Guzman, MSC, LPC-S, NCCBilingual Licensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/vivian-d-echevarria-guzman-msc-lpc-s-ncc | Different Licensed Professionals are trained to use different types of tests and interviews to identify symptoms and draw a diagnosis. In Counseling we use an interview evaluation that considers person's physical and mental health, plus their social and economical environment in combination with Psychological testing. The evaluation process usually takes the first two sessions, depending on how many persons are interviewed and what type of assessments are provided. ¿Cómo se diagnostica a una persona?Diferentes Profesionales Licenciados están entrenados para usar diferentes tipos de exámenes y entrevistas para identificar síntomas y diagnosis. En el área de consejería utilizamos un proceso de entrevista que considera la salud física y mental de una persona, su ambiente socio económico, en combinación con exámenes psicológicos. El proceso de evaluación normalmente toma las primeras dos sesiones, dependiendo de cuantas personas sean entrevistadas y de qué tipo de evaluación se utilice. | 1 | 184 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Different Licensed Professionals are trained to use different types of tests and interviews to identify symptoms and draw a diagnosis. In Counseling we use an interview evaluation that considers person's physical and mental health, plus their social and economical environment in combination with Psychological testing. The evaluation process usually takes the first two sessions, depending on how many persons are interviewed and what type of assessments are provided. ¿Cómo se diagnostica a una persona?Diferentes Profesionales Licenciados están entrenados para usar diferentes tipos de exámenes y entrevistas para identificar síntomas y diagnosis. En el área de consejería utilizamos un proceso de entrevista que considera la salud física y mental de una persona, su ambiente socio económico, en combinación con exámenes psicológicos. El proceso de evaluación normalmente toma las primeras dos sesiones, dependiendo de cuantas personas sean entrevistadas y de qué tipo de evaluación se utilice. </s> |
930 | How does a counselor diagnose someone with a disorder? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-a-counselor-diagnose-someone-with-a-disorder | diagnosis | Sonya WilsonLicensed Professional Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/sonya-wilson | A lot goes into diagnosing for a disorder. It is according to what the provider's assessment from information gathered, reported and observed from the client. | 1 | 103 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] A lot goes into diagnosing for a disorder. It is according to what the provider's assessment from information gathered, reported and observed from the client. </s> |
930 | How does a counselor diagnose someone with a disorder? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-a-counselor-diagnose-someone-with-a-disorder | diagnosis | Audrey ONealBi-lingual Psychotherapist and HeartMath Certified Practitioner | https://counselchat.com/therapists/audrey-oneal-3 | Broadly speaking, assessment tools are used to measure the symptoms related to a variety of disorders.Gathering patient data also includes doing an intake interview usually at the first session. The intake interview is a valuable tool as it leads the way to a diagnosis along with other collected information associated with personal history and the presenting problem. Although counselors work toward arriving at an accurate diagnosis, at the same time, they aspire to not pathologize clients. | 0 | 75 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] Broadly speaking, assessment tools are used to measure the symptoms related to a variety of disorders.Gathering patient data also includes doing an intake interview usually at the first session. The intake interview is a valuable tool as it leads the way to a diagnosis along with other collected information associated with personal history and the presenting problem. Although counselors work toward arriving at an accurate diagnosis, at the same time, they aspire to not pathologize clients. </s> |
930 | How does a counselor diagnose someone with a disorder? | null | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-does-a-counselor-diagnose-someone-with-a-disorder | diagnosis | Leonard PikaardWhen you're ready, help is here. | https://counselchat.com/therapists/leonard-pikaard | The short answer? By observing symptoms. The long answer and reality is that counselors use many tools for this purpose, including but not limited to: self reporting/surveying from clients, diagnostic tools and questionnaires, reports from School, family or other health professionals and social workers, court records, medical records, and the therapist's observation of client's thought patterns, affect, emotions and behaviors. | 0 | 52 | <s>[INST] None [/INST] The short answer? By observing symptoms. The long answer and reality is that counselors use many tools for this purpose, including but not limited to: self reporting/surveying from clients, diagnostic tools and questionnaires, reports from School, family or other health professionals and social workers, court records, medical records, and the therapist's observation of client's thought patterns, affect, emotions and behaviors. </s> |
931 | How do therapists characterize personality types? | How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have? What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-therapists-characterize-personality-types | diagnosis | Emily PagonePsychotherapist at Naperville Counseling Center | https://counselchat.com/therapists/emily-pagone | This is a great question, and I am happy to have the opportunity to explain my approach. When I am determining what type of personality a client has, I take my time and really absorb their lens/ point of view to themselves and others. Determining a personality type takes some time getting to know the person, and building rapport. After taking time to get to know them, and learning about their view they have of themselves and others, it is important to pick-up on more specific personality traits, which comprehensively contribute to a personality type. Clinicians, including myself, often witness certain traits that are enduring and consistent, which indicate a type of personality. For example, if a therapist is noticing that a client is exhibiting traits of organization, needing to be on time, planning, and perfectionism, these traits contribute to the "type A personality". In addition to utilizing clinical judgment, clinicians often use personality assessments and follow the guidelines of the DSM-5/ ICD-10. | 2 | 1,169 | <s>[INST] How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have? What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view. [/INST] This is a great question, and I am happy to have the opportunity to explain my approach. When I am determining what type of personality a client has, I take my time and really absorb their lens/ point of view to themselves and others. Determining a personality type takes some time getting to know the person, and building rapport. After taking time to get to know them, and learning about their view they have of themselves and others, it is important to pick-up on more specific personality traits, which comprehensively contribute to a personality type. Clinicians, including myself, often witness certain traits that are enduring and consistent, which indicate a type of personality. For example, if a therapist is noticing that a client is exhibiting traits of organization, needing to be on time, planning, and perfectionism, these traits contribute to the "type A personality". In addition to utilizing clinical judgment, clinicians often use personality assessments and follow the guidelines of the DSM-5/ ICD-10. </s> |
931 | How do therapists characterize personality types? | How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have? What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view. | https://counselchat.com/questions/how-do-therapists-characterize-personality-types | diagnosis | Eric Ström, JD, MA, LMHCAttorney & Licensed Mental Health Counselor | https://counselchat.com/therapists/eric-str-m-jd-ma-lmhc | That's a great question. There is such a wide range of ways to define "personality" that it is difficult to identify specific characteristics that are used to identify personality types.That being said, some clinicians will use standardized tests (or assessments) to assess a client's type of personality. While these tests can't tell us everything about a person, they can help us understand where we are within larger groups of different personality styles.Some counselors will also use a diagnostic tool (like the DSM or ICD) to help a client understand a diagnosis that is related to a personality disorder. | 1 | 489 | <s>[INST] How do therapists classify the type of personality their clients have? What characteristics do they look at to decide what type of personality the client has? I've read about this online, but I'd like to understand this from a therapist's point of view. [/INST] That's a great question. There is such a wide range of ways to define "personality" that it is difficult to identify specific characteristics that are used to identify personality types.That being said, some clinicians will use standardized tests (or assessments) to assess a client's type of personality. While these tests can't tell us everything about a person, they can help us understand where we are within larger groups of different personality styles.Some counselors will also use a diagnostic tool (like the DSM or ICD) to help a client understand a diagnosis that is related to a personality disorder. </s> |