Q:

Can I really do nothing with fatal parse errors?

Beginner question: I have done around 30 hours trying to sort out an error handler, essential as I am not a great programmer. I am 95% sure I can’t do anything about fatal-fatal errors but I am still 5% hopeful. 
My error handler was working well sending out emails and text messages when it encounters problems but then I got an empty page with just:
Fatal error: Cannot use try without catch or finally 
in /directory/ etc ...filename.php on line 999

(I had accidentally deleted the catch block.) The question: Someone somewhere mentioned htaccess 500 pages. 
I did not understand what was described when I read it. I have done almost nothing with htaccess up to now. 
Is there a way to trip some sort of static page?  (I am 95% sure I can do nothing but I am stuck and still have a 5% hope and this is really important for me.) I am still running PHP 5.6 but do not want to upgrade to 7 yet. Catching these errors is far more important for me than the warnings, notices, deprecateds etc that I can catch. 
Update
I saw that question and used some of the techniques there BUT it is 11 years old, huge, partly outdated and does NOT primarily address the problem I now want to solve.
I have no problem dealing with "fatal errors" such as calling a non existent function. My problem is about errors found when the script is parsed and are "unrecoverable". In my case a missing catch when a try is present.
The other answer, answers this in parts but not in ways that I can seem to use. I think there maybe a way of forcing a 500 error rather perversely by stopping error display which I will investigate soon/tomorrow. I would be grateful for 24 hours to check. I am quite happy for someone more knowledgeable to put up a better question/answer and useful info could be culled from that thread but, frankly it is a mess unsurprisingly after 11 years.
Answer - almost
Switch display_errors to off and you have a 500 error. Sadly I cannot get an .htaccess redirect to work (404 works fine). If you are good with .htaccess hopefully you will have some joy.
In some discussions there is talk of some 500 errors being "CORE" errors and REALLY unrecoverable even by .htaccess. My logs are very sparse and I cannot see any useful indication if this is the case for the catch when a try is present error.
(With a big thank you to  @Dharman (if it works)). PS Will tidy this up when/if I get to the end of this.)

A:

I don't think PHP can do anything with parse errors (or other errors during the compilation phase), but you should be able to configure your web server to display an error page of your choosing.
You don't say what web server you are using, but for example with Apache these are the Custom Error Response settings. Your errors will be HTTP 500 errors.

