I'm way too shy, please help
jpatte: The mind works with automatisms and reflexes. They condition the way you interpret any situation, and the emotion you feel because of this interpretation.
The key is to become aware of these mechanisms: don't let them control you.In your daily-life, inevitably you will interact with other people. At this moment, there might be a little voice in your head (litteraly) saying "Don't do this. It's dangerous. Remember that time..." + flash images of painful past situations. It's your instinct, acting to protect you. The problem is the association you made between people interaction and pain (probably because of a difficult childhood). You need to fix this.Actually there might be several broken mechanisms acting in different situations.: don't try to fix them all at the same time. Focus on each one independently, then "force" it as much as possible to replace the bad behavior by the behavior you want. It will be hard at the beginning, then easier.A psychologist might help you identify these broken mechanisms in your daily life. But the key is to gain awareness of them, acting in your head. Some of them could be:- taboo: being shy or feeling uncomfortable is not a taboo. Talk about it. Everyone enjoy talking about what they are concerned about. This is your life, so talk about it. People will actually appreciate knowing you better, and you might be amazed to see how many people feel the same.- judgment: people are not judging you all the time. Most of the time, they don't care about you. Don't think anything you do will be evaluated, judged, and blamed.- perfection: nobody is perfect. Why would you? People learn from failures. If they don't fail, they don't evolve. Don't feel shameful to ask for help. It's very positive.- right: you have the right to exist. You have to right to make suggestions. You have the right to decline others' suggestions.It's a long road, but it's worth it. Hang on!