Obsessive Asian Parents
dkarl: Maybe the key is convincing them that you know better?  I knew one girl born in South Korea whose father (still living in Korea) was totally hands-off, with an attitude of, "Whoa, you understand the USA way better than I do; I'm out of my depth here; do what you think is best."  She said it was night and day compared to how he had behaved when she first moved to the US, but she didn't say what had changed his mind.  However, I know she had survived some really bad shit that her father was totally powerless to help her with, so maybe that experience of helplessness convinced him, or maybe watching her handle it gave him respect for her.  Either way, not very helpful for you, I guess.