Ask HN:Review my science fiction story.
synnik: I read the first two sentences, wasn't drawn in, and would have closed the page, had this not been explicitly a request for help.In short, what you wrote reads like notes for a story, not a story itself. Don't tell people it was 3065, and then give 3 word descriptions of other aspects of society.
Instead, write out events that take are taking place that will lead people to understand these facts. Let the events pull people in, and when they are done reading, they will understand your setting.
Once you've done that, the rest of the story should flow in a similar way.