Ask HN:Review my science fiction story.
roundsquare: So, the story has some potential.  I would like to see what comes next.However, you are severely limiting your audience in many ways.  Most people don't know what it means to index a database.  Many don't know what lisp is, or even what a programming language is (even worse that you call it a language and not a programming language).  Etc...  Ask someone who has never written a line of code and is afraid of computers to read this and they will come back confused.Also, at the end, the character doesn't mean much to me.  By this point I should feel the characters's passion for the question.  I need to want the answer as much as he does.  Giving him the feeling that its important to find out and conveying that will help a lot.My guess is that something will be "undone" and thats the point of the story.  If so, you have a neat idea here, but you need to keep the reader engaged.  Take out technical details, flesh out the character, make me care about him and the world around him (whats good about it, whats bad about it) etc...FYI - I don't mean to fully disparage your idea here.  I think if you re-wrote it with the suggestions people here have given, it can be really good.Also - nice idea having HN review a story.  Its a nice change of pace.