Confronting impossible people (In life and business)
DanielBMarkham: This is actually very simple, although the execution seems to trip a lot of folks up.There are several stages. If you go through all of them, things work themselves out.1) He hears you. He is able to repeat what you said back to you and not screw it up.2) He empathizes with you. He honestly understands how you feel and would feel the same way if it the roles were reversed3) He agrees that something must be done.4) He is able to do whatever it isThese are sequential steps, and you can't skip to #4 without going through the other ones. I've found that most of the time the problem is in #1, although you're more likely to think it's 2 or 3. People who don't know each other sometimes have a very hard time getting a common moral/fairness foundation for value discussions. This impedes communication.So get some friends -- the other guys living there would be great -- and start down the list as part of a group effort. Hell you don't even have to single him out if you don't want to, your problem is with the door, not him.Most times group dynamics and peer pressure can do the work where reasoning, cajoling, and punching in the neck won't.But dude, whatever you do, don't make your own prison for yourself. Bail if you can't fix this. It'll just get worse. If you've just moved in, then move out. Most places have a 30-day clause on new leases for stuff just like this. Any judge or real estate agent or whatnot is going to be a lot more sympathetic to you if you took active steps, was unable to resolve, and left than if you suffered for weeks or months and then up and leave. It's your pain: it's your job to take action.