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user-249 | ['Dont look to reddit to solve your problems. Oh, and dont kill yourself either. Seriously. '] | Supportive | 249 |
user-433 | ['As someone who is just Hyperactive behavior your friend, she needs someone to comfort her and to tell her that SOMEONE in this world loves and cares for her. She needs to come to accept she will need consoling, you cant make her go because it is for some a scary thing to go too. No one wants to relive the Depressed mood parts of life or be told "You are kinda fucked up in this way, here some stuff to try to get better"', 'Please dont do it sweetie. I dont know what you have gone through but Im sure someone will miss you even if you dont think they will. Im guilty of thinking that myself most days. Even though I try to kill myself on occasion, its not worth it. Life as meaningless and hard as it may seem, will one day be better. Im sure youre mom and brother will miss you and, although I dont know you, Ill miss you and the rest of this sub reddit will miss you. So please, even if you think it is a good idea, dont do it tonight. Instead, talk to a friend or vent to me if you dont want to talk to a friend of yours. Ill talk to you when you need someone, I promise.', 'whew. okay. I messaged him too but I guess hes too shy/i am not sure what to message back.', 'I greatly appreciate you going back into my posts to get to know me better. I always had robotics as my comforting net in Drug abuse school but when I was there my boyfriend of the time (now ex) always got Anger at me for being so interested in a "mans world" I get so self conscious there now from it especially since one person who abused me I met through robotics. My college doesnt have a robotics club unfortunately. :/', 'My mom is really Nausea and I dont want to ask for money for a laptop because I know she needs it. Not only that, her minivan could die at any time.', 'Please dont give up, I can relate to what you are going through. I have been though something similar. Please, if anything, find someone from your university that you trust and confine in them, that is what I did and it saved me with out getting the cops involved. I called the cops on the first person who sexually abused me (Ive had 3 people sexually harm me) and although it saved me from being near him again, I will admit it is scary but well worth it. Please do something to get you out of that situation before you harm yourself. PM me if you want and I will give you my email, facebook what ever you need and I will talk to you whenever you feel hopeless. I promise things do get better.', 'Hey... I know its a Depressed mood time of year and all and I cant offer much advice seeing Ive been suicidal and almost acting on it for at least 2 weeks but I will be here to listen and talk too. PM me and tomorrow night if you want to talk more or have a pen pal though Christmas, I can give you my email. But one thing I ask is that you dont do it. Someone will always care even if they dont seem Hyperactive behavior they do.', 'Hey, I know shit seems hard and that people are the biggest assholes but after reading your post in r/confessions, I think you are a strong woman with her priorities strait. Sure it may not be a job most people would consider but you are just trying to survive. I think you can do it and have your child grow up to be everything you want her to be. Please PM me if you want to talk.', 'Ive always wanted Overlord with the Raising hell expansion, and Overlord 2. I was going to get my bf crysis 2 for Christmas. A Virus named tom looks great too if youre willing to give those up :) Thank you for your generosity!', 'Things get better. I had to find the right places and the right major for some of my Anxiety Mental Depression to go away. I know its not much but if you ever need someone to talk too, Im generally always online.', 'We never fight... I got selfish and wanted time with him when he wanted alone time...I feel really bad now that he is grumpy...', 'Dropped a message in the ask box from my tumblr. Waiting for a response.', 'Thanks everyone for your kind words.', 'Are you sure? They havent posted in 6 hours...', 'Hey, Im sorry for all of the trolls and the assholes. Ive seen them on many occasions and I have been at the brunt of their harassment. But I am sure there are many people who care about you and want to help you. If I was on reddit during the time of this incident I would have done all I could to tell the trolls to fuck off and would have defended you. If you are still on, I would Hyperactive behavior to talk with you. I recently lost my close friend I think I know how you might feel right now...'] | Attempt | 433 |
user-19 | ['Live for others you say?', 'My trigger. Well, I cant drink alcohol. I know it, but then, I have so much fun then I want to drown. I drink little now, but I drank today, when Ive had an issue. How can you not drink, when its your culture, when the reality is youre outside if you dont?', 'my whole life is a semi-stage of Depression mixed with periods of good times. at the moment i want to neck myself but my commitments in life prevent me from doing so. i continually say ill get past this point and then it wont matter, then some fuckhead mate has a wedding, or a family member has an important event and i defer. fuck the world.', 'for some reason, people like different shit, its good in that way.', 'Does one truly beat depression? Ive gone a fair while without a major depressive stint but still get some massive blue days.', 'One day I hope to get to NY, until then I will hold on for that hug.', 'Works for some people, doesnt work for others. Ive always played sport, exercising at least three times a Asthenia and some of my biggest lows have been after a session. ', 'dog is real though.', 'Yeah theyre the best', 'Ive never had anyone. ', 'http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154323/a-beautiful-sadness', 'i went and got really drunk and told some people at work a few days later where i was then told to go see a doctor who put me on Lexapro which got me seriously high for a few days.', 'i got totally fucked up one night, had sex with this girl, she was fucking amazing, i almost missed my flight home, wasnt sure how the fuck it all happend, got her number some how and then proceeded to text. there was no proof to anyone this chick existed or myself besides being that fucked up that in my mind i had sex with her, she came to visit me from 3500ks away, if she hadnt got off that plane, i would not have typed this.', 'got my first when i was 31. lasted 8 months maybe. then got a second, which lasted maybe the same. both of these birds some how accepted me for who i am, i dont know how, i honestly dont and it kills me trying to think that maybe there is another bird out there for me.ive figured that once chicks reach their late 20s theyre looking to build a nest, find women that are in that age range, late 20s-early 30s that are single and need to build a nest. ', 'Woody Allen movies are actually a reason not to live. ', 'Its hard to say really, being in debt has been a slight issue, loss of close friends, the lack of socialising and standing still in my job. ', 'I disagree/agree with some of distroid advice. Medication is fucked but it helps, consult a learned person if it isnt working. Dont take up bowling it is shit. Take responsibility for your life, dont make excuses. You can control certain aspects in your life, the things you cannot control, do not worry or depress about. Because you feel shit, it isnt bad, feel that shit, understand it, question it. Listen to shit self help tapes, while they are shit, they give you something to think about, they also help with asking yourself questions. Dont give up.', 'you saved yourself.', 'I was on 375mg. Worst shit ever, felt like a drug addict coming off, guess I was. Took about three months after getting off for the withdrawal symptoms to go away. When I first started using it went away for a weekend and forgot my meds, almost didnt get let on the plane home. ', 'your friends never get over it. one of my best mates, who i lived with at the time, killed himself while i was overseas, our other housemate, who is also a great friend found him hanging in his room. you dont get over that.', 'you can be isolated in a crowd. surrounding yourself with people who you feel are like rats or stink or just give you that feeling, that whatever you do, you cant fucking escape and you try and claw at the surface and youre stuck, youre stuck in this stench of life and misery and these roaches, they just swarm all over you and all you can do is breath in this stale fucking air, used by these parasites that you will never be able to shed. ', 'motion picture sound track kills me', 'my mother died from motor neuron disease, shit was real. she couldnt speak and would write stuff like, dont you love me? fucking killed me. i dont know how it relates, but it fucking sucks, whole family was fucked up for a serious amount of time, watching your mum die over a couple of years gave me serious mares.', 'I thought Id found someone but she rejected me once she became aware that I was Depression. Sympathy sex was okay. ', 'i was in the same boat bud, still am to a degree. the only contact i had with girls was drunken intercourse, late 20s it started to change, girls want to settle down in their late 20s, theyll settle for guys like us real easy if you show em you care.', 'its called livejournal.', 'its much better to text her at 3 or 4 in the morning when drunk.', 'Nice patronising.', 'all i can offer is maybe doing one thing every day that you dont want to do. stuff you procrastinate about. stuff that you think is not worth doing but then it gets you doing something.', 'youve just got to visualise it. ', 'I went through a serious bad trot, told my mates about it, they didnt really give a fuck, a year or so later, another mate of ours killed himself, I was overseas at the time, at the wake and afterwards, they were like we should take this as a warning, you know after what you went through and now Pete, we should look out for each other. Ive hardly heard from or seen these guys in the last three years, everyone disappeared.', 'most of the people i roll with wouldnt know half the shit i like, so i guess it is hard to know, ive found though the key with people who question me is to not give a fuck. ', 'seeing a way out of Depression is pretty hard, but there are generally steps to take, some work, some dont. i would just try to do one thing a day that i didnt want to, regardless of how small, it got me slowly into a better frame of mind where life stopped being chore.these days, i rarely have a dark day, though they still happen and its never likely to last more than a day. im aware of it when it happens and dont let myself get sucked in.', 'I thought it was a decent film, fucked up, but decent.', 'This is something I forget but keep trying to live by. I try to accept that I am without being, I still have far to go. Thank you for reminding me.', 'it is only when i get drunk that i really want to neck myself. i rarely drink now but when i do, most of the time i want to neck myself.', 'Id suggest not pilling out. Its not a great experience to wake up to and if you almost do the job but not quite you could be in a worse situation or leave it up to someone else to make the decision.', 'its a tough gig. i feel a bit AA about saying i havent had a rough day since last year, which seems almost as long as i can remember without feeling off. im not really sure how it all change, my financial situation isnt any better, my circle of friends hasnt Fatigue or decreased, i dont have a relationship, the only real thing that has happened is that i dont drink as much, well stuff all now and im more committed to being fit which has now turned around where i used to go for a run or do some exercise and i would experience some of the worst lows ever afterward and now i do it, i dont feel great, but i feel good. i honestly dont know how things have changed when on the outside nothing really has. all i can say is, keep to the things you like doing and the only self help tape that has done anything for me was one by steve chandler and it was really only one point it. doing something everyday, like stuff you procrastinate over about not doing. that motivated me for a short period.', 'do i need any explosions or guns firing?', 'thats pretty depressing actually.', 'yeah, the scales will be the icing.', 'im crashing out dude, will talk later.', '>What happens tomorrow, or what has happened yesterday or the day/week/month/year before, mean abso-fucking-lutely nothing.live for the moment eh. existence is futile.', 'maybe a cloud with a silver lining?', 'I got told to play video games. I dont see how the fuck that helps.', 'Things went like this, from 2007 to late 2008, work related back injury, anti-depressants, found out my mother had a terminal illness, got a small payout, move back home to be close to family and start a business with bro/sister, they didnt pay me but used my settle on the business/supporting myself, stopped taking meds, moved away, mother died same weekend, quit my next job, moved in with a good friend, doing serious credit card damage, friend kills himself, our close group of friends fall apart, couple months later, 30k in the hole and have been working ever since to get free again, of which Im still 15k from.', 'Just read the catcher in the rye a few hundred times, didnt work for me but Im still alive right? ', 'They prefer to call it Radelaide', 'What is the context? ', 'ive never had a sustained relationship, i dont think ive ever had sex when i havent been drunk or come down from a big night, while being Depression fucking sucks, like butters says, id rather experience a loss than never experience a gain or that other shitful quote it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. ', 'theyll bake a cake at some stage, banana cake to exact.', 'woody allen movies are on my not to watch list, so i dont know. killing yourself would be a terrible idea. i need some tips on screen writing, help me out. i want to make a short film with holden caulfield playing a game of checkers with jane gallagher, how do you think i should approach it?', 'my opinion would be dont take any medication involving SSRIs or SNRIs, like efexor because that shit is fucking chaos to get off.', 'The hardest part is not knowing why you want to die. I had this beautiful girl on top of me today, last night I was with her as well but I was Depression as hell and told her I didnt want to be with her that night. She came around today and I still felt like necking myself, I dont know why, why the fuck would want to neck yourself when someone says they adore you? ', 'I really liked this bird, had seen her on and off for a few months, had a really bad Asthenia and was on the edge. Saw her and she took me in, sympathy sex and then shut me down the next day after dropping me at the hospital. Im still here. Good times I guess. ', 'in the pits too.'] | Ideation | 19 |
user-322 | ['Wonderful :) Didnt work for me. But that further supports the hypothesis that it works and is totally normal.', 'Yeah, a lot of us have found over the years that the doctors dont always work to our best interest. It sucks. We have to research ourselves to find whats best and its hard when you know you arent in the best frame of mind. Glad you are here. Ive gotten a lot of good support and suggestions from BPR. Is there anything in particular you would Hyperactive behavior your doctor to recommend for your Mental Depression and Anxiety Mental Depression other than upping your Seroquel? I had to always plan what I wanted from my Depressed mood doctor ahead of time since they always skipped over what I thought was important.', 'Did they have any recommendations for what to expect? Everyone reacts differently.', 'Your serotonin receptors are used to being modulated artificially. They werent being regulated for four days and werent keeping up with the amount of serotonin trying to bind with the receptors in your brain. Itll take a while to re-acclimate and if you taper down, youre still going to experience some Withdrawal Symptoms effects.Sorry, medical advice is not allowed here, so I always preface with talk to your doctor. Im just going off of my own experiences. Ive been on numerous SSRIs and other meds. Its no fun. When I taper, I cut the pills in half and take half, then either every other day or one fourth a day. The Withdrawal Symptoms symptoms can still last for months, but hopefully youll have an easier time with it being at only 20mg.', 'Im an atheist as well, so I understand the feeling of nothing. I would focus on one thing at a time and try not to overwhelm yourself which is really easy to do. You have your list here, so thats a good start. Im reclusive, so I dont have friends either. The internet is my friend. I went for about a year with no job and I would suggest ignoring the loans and debts. Throw the bills away for now and label the collector phone numbers and make their ringtones silent, etc. Being overweight is very rough, its uncomfortable physically and mentally, but that also is something that can be dealt with at a later time when you feel stronger and more in control. Therapists play stupid mind games that dont work on me either. Im not stupid. When you say "Im hoping an angel can show up and lead me to the places I used to dream" are you saying you are looking for some guidance? What are these things you used to dream when you were a child?[EDIT] and I dont get offended, so if Im not helping, please tell me.', 'Do you have any type of philosophy? Like do you believe in determinism or free will? When I find patterns in nature and math, it makes me feel Hyperactive behavior all of life is a miracle. I dont normally call it a miracle, I call it a coincidence. But I still find it positive in some way. Im not religious, but I feel Hyperactive behavior everything happens for a reason so I am a determinist. Please tell me if you disagree with any of this. The real world is Depressed mood and I agree its very hard to find good in all of the shit, but I get excited when I find something I see as positive because it is so hard to come by.', 'Its very frustrating and a vicious circle that can make you feel worse. How long have you been together if you dont mind me asking?', 'Same. I take Klonapin. Some people take propranolol for Anxiety Mental Depression though. I switch back and forth depending on my blood pressure and how many doses of my benzo I have taken/have Ventricular Dysfunction, Left. Might ask your doctor about beta blockers if they wont prescribe benzodiazepines.', 'You got fired? Is there a loophole for wrongful termination that you can get unemployment?', 'I went to a psychiatrist in Bedford off of 121 and 183 that took insurance when I lived in Texas. It worked out for a few years. Only caveat was that I only saw the actual doctor once and was pawned off to his MHMP that could write scripts. She started me on about 4 or 5 different meds at once in the beginning. I eventually figured out on my own what worked best for me and basically asked if I could have those and she gave me what I asked for. Ill find the doctors info if you want?', 'Ive developed this recently as well. Mostly when Im trying to go to Hypersomnia. Even with the drowsey side effects of different mood stabilizers, I still have Initial Middle Sleeplessness. Ive read this could also be a side effect of Initial Middle Sleeplessness, not necessarily the meds. (I usually take Geodon)', 'We all deal with Stress in different ways and we get body modifications for different reasons. I dont personally have facial tattoos, but Ive had my forehead pierced and I still have my septum and other large tattoos. My first tattoo was a swastika on my Ache wrists that I occasionally catch flack for, but most people dont know that a swastika can Irritable Mood peace, so I plan on expanding it when I get the money. You sound Hyperactive behavior you thought you put on a facade and that the damaged lone wolf is not who you are. It very well might have been who you *were*, and now youre heading into a new phase of life where you have a different perspective. Regret is normal and it sucks. You did say you would Hyperactive behavior advice. My advice, learn from your experiences and keep being the good person that you are. If you eventually want your tattoos gone, save up money to have them lasered. Its expensive and painful, but it would be another path in life you can choose if you want. If you have other concerns and dont mind chatting, feel free to reply or message me.', 'I feel you. Its a vicious cycle. I have trouble meditating and focusing when Im stressed, so I usually watch one of my favorite movies to distract my mind if the anti-Anxiety Mental Depression meds arent helping. Lately Ive also been listening to music and surfing Pinterest for motivational quotes. You cant always prevent a cycle, just have to try and breath through it until its over. Only 3 weeks, youre in the home stretch. You can make.', 'I agree, just call your doctor and explain that youll be without meds for fours days and ask if theres anything you need to do.', 'Yep, this could easily happen to me. Thank you for posting.', 'Those are pretty standard for mood disorders. First line treatments...if those dont work, usually a benzodiazepine (Xanax, Ativan, Klonapin...) benzos are more "addictive" and doctors hate prescribing them. Lexapro worked very well for me for a long time. I take risperidone when my mood is too manic, insomnia, wound up.', 'Have you signed up to get unemployment benefits from the government?', 'Have you asked your therapist to recommend a new prescribing doctor?', 'Guess Ill be the iOS person. I havent found a really great app that works the way I would Hyperactive behavior, so I use two. I mainly use my iPeriod app because it monitors a lot of the same things (plus you can Attention Deficit Disorder your own symptoms), but when I need to keep track of my Manic episodes (multiples in one day), I use Moody Me. Mood, emotions, symptoms, treatment, and triggers are all separate categories you can track.', 'Geography and computer science honestly sounds really fun. What about geography dont you Hyperactive behavior?', 'Im very picky about who I hang out with. Ive been unemployed and stuck at home on the computer as well. I saw someone suggest in another sub to look for an exercise buddy on Craigslist. I may have just been lucky, but found another local Redditor looking for the same. We talked through Facebook while I investigated everything on it, on her Reddit account, etc. She passed my background check. We ended up with a lot in common and have been meeting to exercise everyday this week. Meeting people online, getting to know them while researching on all Phobia, Social media sites has been working for me. I also networked on Facebook when I moved out of state. If you have a Facebook with acquaintances that are far away, ask them if they know anyone you could "friend" that live close by and get to know.', 'Thanks, youre right, that was in the wiki. I will do that.', 'Thanks, Im listening to Sinatra and Billie Holiday, going to avoid my Pandora rock station for a while. Watch more Comedy Central and less Dateline lol. Good tip.', 'Ah, thats good. Hope you have a good holiday weekend.', 'Honestly Im jealous. Geodon worked so well for me, but then I moved and lost insurance. (Geodon was $500 a bottle without insurance last time I checked) My doctor put me on Risperdal in November and I only take it when Im moody on my period with food cravings to start. Both made me equally as sleepy, but I acclimated to the Geodon much better. I tried to stretch out what I had as I ran out and was only taking 20mg towards the end. Thats my target med to get back on when I have the means in the future. Hope it works out well for you!', 'Have a public defender work on your case. To prove abuse, you have to be able to provide evidence of neglect. Have your daughter film what she can and document everything you can. It will take a while but please dont give up.', '^ I skimmed your comment at first, but Ive basically just been emphasizing and elaborating on everything youve said here. Good advice.', 'Thats probably a good thing. Alcohol is a depressant. Im sorry to hear youre going through so much Stress. Drawing and painting is good to get your thoughts and feelings out. Its hard to Hypersomnia when youre brain is on overdrive.', 'Ive been feeling normal as well despite starting a new job and having my schedule change from 4pm to 1am, to a normal 8:30am to 5:30pm. Havent had Initial Middle Sleeplessness for a while. How is everyone elses Initial Middle Sleeplessness?', 'Good when Im good, not bad when Im on the fence or the brink, meh ok when Im bad. The people that actually care will say "Just ok?" The others dont seem to notice the difference.', 'I will definitely keep at it.', 'We were very lucky to be in a theater that wasnt crowded (we went Thursday). I cant imagine going Saturday. Did you have to stand in a long line?', 'Im sorry to hear that :( My dad didnt really believe in mental disorders until quite recently after lots of conversations. My mom wont go to a specialist either. If youre already on medication for ADD, you might as well start with a psychiatrist that can evaluate what youre already taking.', 'It seems to scare you subconsciously. Death shouldnt be scary except on a primal level, the bodys natual reaction is to fight for life involuntarily. I have an experiment of sorts with this. PM me if youre interested.', 'I usually feel bad and say "Ill make it" and apologize. People around me dont know what a loaded question that is and I try to keep that in mind.', 'Are you in the US? (I dont think anyone else says "yall"...so I hope its ok to assume so) Do you have health insurance? How old are you?', 'Not necessarily. Theres a Drug abuse probability that most people live through their attempts with guns and end up either a vegetable or just with severe brain damage. So theres that to consider as well. I wouldnt suggest it.', 'What are the main lies you have encountered throughout your life that keep smacking you in the face? I understand the Exhaustion part.', 'Ive been living with my SO for 7 years today. Anniversary of sorts. Were in an open relationship. My parents divorced when I was 10, I never wanted to get married after that. Never thought about getting married before that. Has nothing to do with my Bipolar Disorder. Everyone has relationship issues and health issues that are all different and still affect marriage statistics.', 'Do you work or go to school? Id probably say something Hyperactive behavior "My Mental Depression symptoms have been getting worse and I think its something other than Mental Depression. I may need some help finding a specialist so I can get on the right meds. The past week or so has been horrid."', 'PM? My SO reads my shit.', 'Who is raping her? Her second set of parents? What else do you know about her?', 'I understand the flood of emotion is sickening, Hyperactive behavior a roller coaster literally upsetting your stomach. It feels intolerable sometimes Hyperactive behavior there is no way your body can take anymore Ache and you just want it to go away. But our bodies are an amazing thing. Ive been so Depressed mood that Ive stayed in bed for weeks, almost an entire month. Just my experience, I know we arent all the same, but I am happy to say I am in a much better place and happy I waited it out. Your entire life could change for the better, you just never know. I am a pessimist at heart, so dont think Im a glass is half full person. But life tends to unfold as it should. I Hyperactive behavior a challenge. What are some things that you used to enjoy that you cant concentrate on now?', 'Happens to me too. I tend to lock myself in the bathroom or in my car as opposed to sharing these feelings and the crying with others. Hugs dont help me, they embarrass me because then I feel pressure to show that the person is helping when they arent. Hope you cycle back up soon and get your motivation back.', 'Hes reading it. This applies to anyone wanting to shoot themselves.', 'I have UHC. I couldnt find shit on their database and ended up with a Depressed mood doctor that specializes in Hypersomnia, not Bipolar Disorder. I called and made a complaint to my insurance and told them the doctor took me off of my medication and I was probably going to end up in inpatient care if I dont find a doctor. Some group called me back that asked me what disorder or group of disorders and a few other questions and they had people in the group call everyone and ask if they were taking new patients, how far out the appointments were, etc. I got a list of two or three back and one worked out. Maybe tell your insurance company that you cant find anyone with their search option and ask if they can help you find someone?', 'My doctor also told me that SSRIs can induce Manic episodes, either in people who are not Bipolar Disorder, but also people who are Bipolar Disorder and not on a mood stabilizer. Ive gone through many different SSRIs, Lexapro worked for me for while when I was younger. Last time I had a dangerous Manic episode, I was on Paxil and no mood stabilizer. That was my experience.', 'Similar here, great grandparents were institutionalized on my moms side. My Dads side doesnt believe in psychology or treating mental illness with medication. I was on anti-depressants for years before I had my first Manic episode. I get support from [r/Bipolar Disorder](http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit) we can chat here, or you can PM me either way if you feel Hyperactive behavior it.', 'Thank you. Ive been looking for a replacement so long its disheartening. Hope you also find a good replacement.', 'Agreed, highly unlikely. An overdose would be a complete nightmare as well. I wouldnt suggest either one.', 'Yeah, you cant consciously control your brain juices so dont blame yourself. Take a deep breath and enjoy the break in the storm. It has a bit to do with cortisol (not all of course)...Initial Middle Sleeplessness, your "survival mode" also sounds similar to the "fight or flight" feeling. Just try and get your bearings on how you feel now which sounds to be alright for once. I do the same thing. "Wow, I feel sane and in control all of a sudden...now what am I supposed to do to make the most of it..." just try to go with the flow and see what comes your way and take one event at a time. No sense ruining the moment worrying about when you may feel bad again. I tend to be more Phobia, Social when my Anxiety Mental Depression subsides, so I try to do things Hyperactive behavior grocery shopping when Im in an up swing that isnt Manic. I can interact in public a bit easier, budget for food a little easier, but were all different. Hope you enjoy your ~~morning/evening~~ time of contentment.', 'Im sorry I cant think of any good advice. Thats a very difficult situation. Did you get your meds from a primary care doctor or a psych doctor?', 'Im pretty anti-government myself. Have a lot of friends in the navy though. I always wanted to be an anthropological photographer. Found out that you have to work 9 to 5 jobs while working towards those dreams. Over the years my dreams have changed, become more solid, turned into goals. Just dont give yourself a timeline and call it a failure and give up if things seem impossible. As long as theres life to live, theres a chance things could change gradually or in an instant towards the better or worse. Change is the only constant.', 'Feel Hyperactive behavior chatting on the phone?', 'Haha, me too. Over 3 liters a day. Not as a goal or anything. I also found pickle juice to help a lot as well. Congrats and good luck with your new meds.', '* Therapists have low level certifications or no requirements for credentials (similar to counselors).* A clinical psychologist can have a PhD and focuses on diagnosis, then recommends which type of therapy would work best for you and cannot prescribe medication, but may refer to you a psychiatrist for medication.* A psychiatrist will also help with diagnosis, but a lot of them only diagnose within 5 minutes of your first appointment from my experience, then focus on changing medications around until you find the right blend.Hope that helps.', 'Sorry to hear about your breakup. Perhaps a therapist or counselor that can session via Skype or email if you cant find one to talk to in Korea could help. Definitely keep exercising. I tend to bottle my emotions as well, every so often I have a breakdown at night and just spend hours in my car crying. Probably about two or three times a year. You sound very optimistic...youve got that going for you as well. Someone is always around here if you need to chat. Hope you get some relief from your Anxiety soon.', 'Agree with everything [BipolarTypeOne](http://www.reddit.com/user/BipolarTypeOne) said. I also tapered to .5mg Klonopin when I discontinued for a while. I just take it when needed now, so once every couple of days. My SO has come close to Seizures, Focal from Withdrawal Symptoms when we moved out of state and he ran out and had to go to the ER before we found our doctors here. GABA supplements helped for a bit. Might try looking up info about that. I replaced Ambien with Benadryl for a while too. I dont take it anymore however. I take 5mg melatonin as a Hypersomnia aid now and thats it.', 'I have much experience with Initial Middle Sleeplessness. What have you already tried so far?', 'I feel Hyperactive behavior Ive changed in several ways through phases of life. I was not happy with life until I was about 18 and stayed happy for about 4 years. After that it was shit again. I know its all inside of me and I cant seem to control it. I think the only thing that keeps me going is that I Hyperactive behavior a challenge. Im in constant battle with myself for control. Bipolar/schizophrenia can be hereditary. Did you inherit it?', 'Out of all of those things which would you Hyperactive behavior to pursue first?', 'Thanks, I will definitely work on being patient. I never want to have to do this again.', 'Thats a very tough spot to be in. Are you still legally married?', 'Yep, another request for iOS here. I currently use MoodyMe and my iPeriod app to track everything.', 'That sounds really stressful. Do you have to share a bedroom? (I assume) When I feel trapped (especially when I moved out on my own the first time), I usually sit and Crying Reflex, Abnormal in the bathroom or my car to cope. How long is the internship? Do you take medication?', 'Do you have any way to talk to a lawyer? That sounds pretty serious. Do you have a job that offers legal services? I know most dont.', 'Im not Phobia, Social, so I study psychology alone so I feel Hyperactive behavior I can connect with others in my own dillusion. You may offend people, but most that arent superficial can tell you arent doing it on purpose.', 'Like the others say, its different for everyone, listen to your body. But my experience, every medication I take only works for a year or two, then stops. I have side effects when first starting certain medications and they do go away after my body adjusts. Ive been taking Lamictal for about four weeks now and I havent noticed anymore side effects. My main complaint was horrid, traumatizing dreams...so Ive started taking it in the morning instead of at night. If it severely interferes with your everyday routine, talk to your doctor. Maybe you need to stick with a lower dose or switch to something else. Just be as specific with your doctor as possible.', 'Id suggest she talk more to the ladies in [r/Hijabis](http://www.reddit.com/r/Hijabis) It will take a lot of strength on her side and much patient support from others to help her figure out right and wrong. If shes only able to trust the support she receives on Reddit, they are probably your best bet.', 'Thank you for posting. I feel Hyperactive behavior this often. Helps to know Im not the only one.', 'Its very common for most unaffected people to see Mental Depression as just laziness. There s still a stigma around mental illness. People dont understand how hormones are not something we can control, just Hyperactive behavior someone with diabetes cannot control their insulin levels with their pancreas and without medication and even still, because of the illness, Drowsiness is a common side effect. If you and/or your SO feel comfortable talking to them, you may want have a conversation. Maybe ask your SO what they think, if the parents have said anything. Its definitely a legit concern.', 'Even if the memories of molestation are just now coming to the surface, that kind of thing causes trauma and continuous "Post traumatic Stress disorder" that will affect you on a deep personal level including your shyness and ability to socialize with others. Your experiences are very specific and personal to you and contribute to who you are, but know that youre not completely alone either, youre doing your best, try not to blame yourself...everyone fucks up. What kind of pills were you in trouble for possessing?', 'Yep I have moments of clarity and optimism, then I revert back to Mental Depression, grief and Anxiety Mental Depression attacks. Rapid cycling is a bitch.', 'Its similar. Its on a larger piece of paper and spans for a 5 year period. mine does not have my weight or hours slept however. I may start keeping track of that as well, so thats interesting. [Heres a picture.](http://i.imgur.com/1hsuwcb.jpg)', 'Ive had good and bad experiences with SSRIs and SNRIs. One worked for several months after the horrible acclimation period, then one day just quit working. I was also put on one without a mood stabilizer or anti-psychotic and had bad Manic reactions for obvious reasons. The side effects and Withdrawal Symptoms symptoms Ive had after missing just a few doses just arent worth the few months of no Mental Depression for me either. But then I havent ever been hospitalized because of my Bipolar Disorder either. My neuropsychopharmachologist didnt Hyperactive behavior me being on SSRIs though and had me taper off when I came into her care, and with her experience, I trust her opinion. Unfortunately were all different and you just really dont know if SSRIs are right for you unless your doctor has you give them a try.', 'Im going to sound dumb, please mark it from the record. But "The only constant is change." Indifference is good in my opinion. Some situations are better for you mentally if you float through in a Depersonalization Hyperactive behavior state. That might just get you through this. I just dont think you are a waste. Youre very intelligent.', 'Do you know how old she is? If she can talk to her current parents? The best thing you can do for her is probably listen and continue to be there for her if you dont know her IRL.', 'I went to a specialist in neuropsychopharmacology and she was able to get me down to just low dose klonapin once a day and I have been completely off of everything else for 5 months now. Ive been seeing her for about a year and shes retiring in a few months...still hasnt cashed my last payment. She seems to truly care about my condition and not just filling me with pills and getting paid. Just me personally, but Ive noticed that some years are just really debilitating because of my mood swings, while others I just dont struggle as much. There is so much yet to be understood about brain chemistry and hormones. I think my Bipolar Disorder phases in and out as I get older and some years I need more medication than others. This year so far has been a light year, but I wont be surprised if I am forced to go back on more in the future. Hope you find a decent doctor soon that will help you with your wish to ween as well. They are out there, just dont give up and dont ween alone.', 'Youre welcome :) Those are interesting effects for sure.', 'Have you been contemplating Suicide for years? Is there anything in life that interests you more than leaving it all behind?', 'Thats awful too. Im sorry to hear that. Im worried this new doctor is going to trigger me into more cycling. Im just going to cancel and talk to my primary care and keep exercising. Keeping Sedated state and moving on is the hardest part.', 'Same, Ive been on heavy doses of meds for the Manic so the Depressed mood is coming back. I stopped taking the risperdone because it was just too much. Just took my depakote though. Reminds me of an X or cocaine comedown. Most uncomfortable thing ever. Im just trying to squirm the energy away in bed. Good luck to all of you as well. (((Internet hugs)))', 'I used to spend many nights listening to Bush half Wakefulness and half Somnolence when I was 17-18. I was around 19-20 when I went 3 months straight without actual Hypersomnia. Can you get a doctor appointment? They may be able to advise you on anti-Anxiety Mental Depression medication or prescription Hypersomnia aids. Thats the only thing I didnt do during that time.(I love the Deftones btw)', 'Ive been in a stable open relationship for 7 years. However Ive always known I was poly and Im also pansexual and it really has nothing to do with my Bipolar Disorder. Ive gone through medications that decrease my libido, but when Im not on them, its extremely higher than his. Ive technically only slept with two others (one being married) during this time. One thing you should definitely think about is how youll feel when you are at your most irrational. Are you going to be jealous if he sleeps with someone else? Being open works both ways. I think my Dude finally realized I was serious about being open when he slept with my step-sister and felt ashamed. My step-sister told me, so later when he finally had the courage to bring it up, he was surprised I already knew and didnt make a big deal out of it. I also wouldnt suggest one night stands or sleeping with strangers while youre Manic. Ive had friendships for years with the others Ive slept with and trust them. The symptom of being unnecessarily risky during Manic phases should not be taken lightly. Proceed with caution and good luck! :)', 'Totally understandable. What are the most uncomfortable symptoms of the Initial Middle Sleeplessness that you are experiencing? Can you describe them?', 'Im Bipolar Disorder but in a Manic episode. So Id love to chat with you if you want. I dont know why there are not any other comments. But PM me if you feel Hyperactive behavior it.', 'Me too, I reorganized everything in the kitchen yesterday. Started doing keto a couple weeks ago and decided to try and start cooking for myself. Now I just have to watch my spending on groceries.', 'Very welcome. This community has been awesome to me and given lots of great tips and support. Another suggestion to help with diagnosis is to keep track of your mood. Either on paper or by using an app on your phone. That way you can track patterns and medication to report to your doctor.', 'Absolutely', 'Yep, totally relate. I worked for a friend of my dads for a while. She was a lesbian in the military in the 1950s so she was a hard ass. I grew a tougher skin from that experience, but Im still Muscle Weakness when my Anxiety Mental Depression and Mental Depression act up.', 'Positives that come to mind: You arent in jail. You havent relapsed yet. Youre still free *enough* and in control *enough* to get another job just to see how the pigs will find a way to fuck that up as well. I hope you can Attention Deficit Disorder the positive that you have a GF thats at least supportive. If I were in your probated shoes, I would spend those next years planning my escape to another country. If you dont see a way out now, I would make finding a way my top priority. You say you want to leave the country, patience is really hard to obtain but if you have it, youll make it out. I dont think any of the things you have written have been stupid. What others call pessimistic I would call realistic. So I would say your summed up existence is very real and much better than any obituary most of us will ever have. I hope you get the chance in the future to Attention Deficit Disorder to your story more of what your dreams may be. The piece of paper that represents your education may be a joke, but one last positive is that you are nonetheless educated and obviously intelligent, so there is still potential there. Thanks for sharing.', 'How old are you now? What condition are you referring to that you dont have a future? I want to hear about your problems.', 'My SO and I split a hotel room for a homeless (mentally unstable) older man during the holidays last year. We showed him to his room, my SO Ventricular Dysfunction, Left and I proceeded stay and give the guy a back massage. I dont regret it. Thankful I didnt get raped though.', 'The form my neuropsychopharmacologist gave me is "NIMH The Life Chart Method Self/Retrospective Rating Form", I cant find one online to print, but you may mention it to your doctor and see if that one will cover more ground. She gave me two others that just didnt track well enough because I was Confusion on how to enter the information.', 'If Anxiety Mental Depression is the main culprit, you may have to chip away at it slowly and wind down over several hours, try not to focus on the time (I always Panic Attacks when I look at the clock, so try not to think about or look at the time). Computers, tv emit light plus reading all stimulate your brain. Listening to old radio shows or relaxing music help me. My main problem ends up being that I cant get into a comfortable position and constantly toss and turn.', 'Thats awful that she wont acknowledge it and the other person thought you were joking. I hope you can eventually find someone irl you can confide in to help you with that part of your past.', 'Are you self employed? or will you get unemployment?', 'When I took Seroquel, I was so Drowsiness ALL day that I failed two classes. I was so Drowsiness in the mornings that I literally could not drive or stay Wakefulness once I got there the few times I made it. I couldnt focus on the final and that was it. I can totally understand why you have Anxiety Mental Depression. I sure did. Taking a bunch of Lithium wouldnt kill you, so thats probably why he ignored it altogether. Youre more likely to have major liver problems if you drink and take meds at the same time that tax your liver. Hope you feel better soon. Anxiety is a bitch.', 'Im in the same boat. Feeling awful today. Phone interview tomorrow. Been unemployed since February. Ive been putting on a pretty good facade for interviews for several months and Im exhausted. Most employers are looking for examples of where you excelled in your past work experience, so I just try to ignore my current negativeness and recall the good times I had when I was working. If I were you, Id just try to get some good Hypersomnia, but wake up at a decent hour before the phone screen. If you have past work experience, just try to recall what you enjoyed, what you learned from that experience, and what you hope to experience in the new position so you sound excited for the new opportunity. Good luck to you! ', '> the majority of the time they think of me as someone who is going to drop-out or fail in life.Id be Depressed mood too if my parents thought I was a failure before I even finished my freshman year. My grades dropped to barely passing when I started Drug abuse school too. It could be a mix of Anxiet | Ideation | 322 |
user-332 | ['you see, I am in a lot of clubs that I absolutely enjoy. I do have a lot of friends. Its just i am awkward in a way as well. I also try making new friends but nowadays, people are jerks. I try my hardest not to think of her as well. In fact, Ive been going towards new things to do instead of thnking bout her. I dont see Suicide as an option for now. I dont wanna die but im hating how i live', 'Also, I am not the best looking individual and I lose courage a lot. Truth is, I dont even get bullied or any of that bullshit. I find school as my safe haven. I make excuses to stay in school instead of going home and playing. I try to resist, but cannot stop the urge. I used to have lots of self esteem, was never shy, athletic, and always happy. I am a class clown at school, to mask who i really am. I just feel Depressed mood and I feel Hyperactive behavior Suicide is the only option sometimes. I dont even see a future for me, just darkness. I fear one day I will kill my self with a rope and I really want people to help me on this. I cant call the hotline because my parents will find about it and comfront me.I feel the only person I can talk to is the internet.'] | Ideation | 332 |
user-56 | ['Wow. You should know that military is one of the hardest things in LIFE to accomplish. But congrats on getting a new house, wife, and going through military. Im glad it didnt get worse. It got better. Good luck to you my friend :)', 'My hobbies are fishing, sports... Thats all I can think of... (Sorry for not messaging back right away, havent been on for a while...)', 'BlankLlama. About 276,000 teenagers try to kill themselves every year. 5,000 succeed. The main causes are stress, bullying, failed relationships, abuse, failed studies.I will be one of among 5,000 to kill themselves. I am 13 years old to. And this is my story: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/30jjiw/suicide_note/ ', 'Thank you SpaceHorror. ', 'Youre gifted to have a girlfriend, loving family, friends... You should not be thinking about killing yourself, you just want to do more. Dreams can become reality. Go and see it. Live life, take it in. But there are those who arent gifted like you. Like me. My story... My article... My view, is a whole lot different... The things you listed I have none of that... My story...: http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/comments/30jjiw/suicide_note/'] | Behavior | 56 |
user-301 | ['Have you tried making things with your hands? I took up painting to get my mind off of things, getting lost in your mind can be dangerous ... So I starting making black and white painting that meant something to me. Maybe you can weld things together, just a hobby to try out. Make something and call it art ', 'Be the support he needs if you wants someone to help. Not sure if you want to keep pushing and dealing with him but if you want that pressure, keep letting him know youre there. Hangout with him, keep him busy.If hes trying to kill himself he needs to be watched. Good thing telling his sister, we want someone at home to keep him safe. ', 'Just let spill it to him.. Let him know. Youre trying to reach out to someone you do know and hes right there. Even if he is distance. If telling him will make you feel better do it. Whatever makes it easier for you to deal with.'] | Indicator | 301 |
user-229 | ['Im one of the others that has been checking /user/NeMoD for just this reason.', 'This post must have been prompted by something negative. That makes me sad.This subreddit is awesome, and the moderators are awesome. Keep up the good work.', 'I forgive myself for my failed marriage.You should forgive yourself for all failings which you learn from.', 'My father died when I was fifteen. It was off the coast of Florida, we were SCUBA diving. I did not watch the CPR attempt, but I can vividly remember the sounds: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and 8 and 9 and 10... over and over again for 20 minutes. I remember thinking of my own CPR training, and the chart that shows survival rates for CPR without a defib... I knew how slim the chances were.My father smoked all his life, but quit 6 months prior to this trip so that could go SCUBA diving with me. I never told him how much that meant to me.', 'http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkZyI1gAmLY', 'Im sure that youve been tested for this, but if not make sure you get a test for hypothyroidism. Its grossly underdiagnosed, and can cause all sorts of Emotional upset issues.When Im off my thyroid meds I am more easily frustrated and have a much lower self worth. I also have a hard time thinking clearly.', '*cry*', 'Dont worry about dragging people down, thats not a problem. People that post here do so because helping people makes them happy.Out of curiosity: Do you have any of your art online?', 'Because he was a smoker most of his life, and he quit smoking so that he could get SCUBA certified and go on a trip to the Keys with me. He died 12 miles off the coast of FL.He was a good father, and a good man. His funeral was standing room only in a large building. He influenced more people in his life than I have known in mine. He was my role model and my idol.I am truly lucky to have had such a good father, and the only regret in life is that I only later realized this.', 'Keep up on the music, man, good work.While technically true, there are plenty of people here that would be willing to listen to anyones story. Its therapeutic (man Firefox had a heyday with my spelling of that word) for all involved, I think.', '"This is not your fault."', '(I wrote this comment as a reply to another comment, but when I was ready to post it, reddit said the comment was deleted... so Im just posting it here for your beneift)Im 27 now and I agree with this assessment. At some point someone close to me told me that my high school/college years would be the best of my life. For me this was extremely depressing as I didnt have a great time in high school or college and was Worried that things wouldnt ever get better.Ive been out of college for 4 years now. Ive had some bad times, but it seems each year gets progressively better. Ive realized that the best years of my life are ahead of me, and I can now focus on actively working toward a better future.', 'I would have told my father I loved him before our last SCUBA dive together.', 'Almost every day I go to work with great people. People I enjoy working with, and enjoy hanging out with at lunch and after work. I am extremely lucky to have such a good job.Almost every day I play board games, or poker, or just hang out with good friends. Friends I trust and care for. I am extremely lucky to have so many good friends.Every single night for 3 years now, when work is done and everyone has gone home, I sleep in my empty bed and feel lonely. Just as Im about to do right now.', 'Today', 'Ask her questions about herself, and *listen*. Ask follow up questions.Be yourself.', 'Do you know what song that is?', 'My mother attempted suicide this year. Even coming this close has affected me in ways I cant easily describe.', 'Your abuse is not your fault, and your birth is not a mistake.', 'My father once told me "Son, dont waste your high school years, they will be the best years of your life." I used to worry about this so much because high school wasnt so grand for me. I wasnt one of the in-crowd, and while everyone else was going out doing it like rabbits (or at least, thats what I imagined was happening) I was at home lonely and bored.It wasnt until I went to college, got married, and then got divorced before I realized how wrong my father was. He was a great man, but Ive had to teach myself to take his advice with a grain of salt, even though I tend to idolize him since he died before I had a chance to lose any respect for him (as it seems most people do as they grow older).Life is what you make of it, and if you want it to get better, it will.'] | Indicator | 229 |
user-331 | ['Even if I had insurance to actually see a therapist, I probably wouldnt go. Not only because the idea of it scares me, but Ive heard of many bad experiences with therapy. Id be afraid of being locked away or something.I tried taking small steps to help my Anxiety Mental Depression. Last year instead of taking online college classes Hyperactive behavior I usually do, I enrolled in on campus courses. The first day of school I ended up having a huge Panic Attacks attack and I almost blacked out. I cancelled my classes the next day.', 'I feel selfish because I want to die. Like a little kid who pouts in the corner because he didnt get what he wanted. Im being selfish because I dont try to make things change, because Id rather just end things. Theres just so much Ache and sadness and it just keeps getting worse. Not better. Ive been told to see a therapist before. But Im Social fear to even do that. Im afraid of people. The only reason I have friends is because I met them online. And theres a sort of anonymity you can have when you talk to people that way. Even when I met my ex in person for the first time, I was awkward and quiet. When Im online I can pretend to be happy, funny, interesting... someone Im not. But I cant fake who I am in person. Which is basically why I got dumped. My real life self wasnt the same. All the Ache and sadness I have is completely my fault. And if I end it, the problems go away forever.', 'Im really sorry you have to go through Ache Hyperactive behavior that too. My ex was my best friend above all else. For three years we talked every single day. Its sounds silly that I was 22 and he was the first person I could honestly call a friend. When we started dating it felt amazing. In love with my best friend, it was perfect. Id never been so happy. But that all changed in the blink of an eye. Literally a minute after my first kiss, he broke up with me. "I value your friendship, I still want to keep that intact." Thats what he said. Five months later and he has stopped talking to me altogether. I lost my best friend. And my Phobia, Social Anxiety Mental Depression is at an all time Drug abuse now. Just the thought of talking to someone in person freaks me out.When we were still together, he was helping me with my Anxiety Mental Depression issues. Hed encourage me to take baby steps to make it better. But now, I dont see the point. Ill still be alone.', 'I always make up excuses for why I cant do something. But if I really wanted to fix things, Id just do it. I wouldnt let my fear stop me. What does that say about me? I give up on everything in life. I dont think that will change. Im so mentally exhausted, I cant even think of one single reason to live. I dont care about anything anymore.'] | Ideation | 331 |
user-132 | ['Dude. Dont do this. You wont be called brave or bold. You will just become the guy who killed himself. A no body. Live through it. Buck up. If I see it on the news. When I die Ill kick your ass in heaven or whever we go.'] | Supportive | 132 |
user-137 | ['Hi, following you to this post... Ive been thinking about you since the last time believe it or not, I was wondering how things are going as I didnt feel all that helpful on the last post, so Im glad I found this one.After some time passing, youre posting again, so Im seeing that youre feeling down and Im really sorry to see that. I still think there is hope for you and there can be a positive outcome. I have faith in you, although we have this limited interaction through a website which makes it a bit tricky.This subreddit is by its nature about a drastic action of last resort. Youve posted twice and are now saying it needs to happen soon. Obviously I dont want that to happen. Does what "I" want mean anything? Well maybe not right now, or ever! All the same, I want to get through to you and try to help, and for me, what happens to you does matter. What "I" would like for you to do, is find a way out, other than the planned way... Youve been analysing the situation *but* , I believe that your judgement right now may only be at say 80%, due to Depression, bad circumstances clouding it etc, my own assessment of my life is often wrong too. Depression can be a chemical thing and its hard to assess when you have it. Your feelings (at least some of them) may be difficult to assess due to chemicals. Im not saying its just chemicals, youve got things going on and I realise that, but I ask you openly and as best I can to find a different solution.So, I want you to try a couple of things. I cant make you, but evidence that I care is that Im writing this and checked up 2 months later on what youre up to. So in return I ask for just a couple of thoughts and actions. You dont really owe *me* this, but you owe yourself this for certain... 1) Think about people in your life (family?) that things arent screwed up with and make contact to see what happens. Its Tired rare that there would be absolutely no one; possible I suppose but super-rare I would expect. When people commit suicide, there are people left behind that care Im sure in 99.9999% of cases, I will be one at least, other people posting here, reading this, the police, the photographer, their families, tons of people that you may not expect. 2) See if you can make a *massive* change/way out other than suicide. Like maybe something that would seem crazy like hitchhiking across your country, then going to another one or two, visiting Africa, honestly the biggest change you can think of, doing charity work or something, a 100% change as youve already worked out that things as they are, are not what is working out for you. You cant fail if the other option was suicide.What do you think? :-/', 'Still here if you need anything (me + others). Have you spoken to anyone else about this?', 'Please dont.I think everyones friends are unreliable, honestly, people tend to be quite unreliable even when they are well meaning. Ive had similar frustrations.If a group of people dont meet up, it doesnt mean that they were trying to avoid you specifically. There are loads of things that could have happened. I doubt they all were like "ok fuck you, well just all meet secretly".Im Worried that youre thinking of suicide because of this. Im guessing there might be something else happening too? Do you want to tell us? It might help.I will check back but its just coming up to midnight here, please write back and Ill check if I wake up overnight or first thing.', 'Please go back to her, you need to have a helping hand. Were here to listen but professional help in person is probably going to be better for you (or you can try both). Feel free to write any time to let me know whats happening, Im interested and care.', 'We can talk to you instead on here, if thats any use. Reddit is always available, except during downtime of course :-).Whats been happening? Are you up for talking a bit? We might be able to help, or at least listen to you.', 'Are you still with us? :-/', 'Cool. Thats good.Friends can be ridiculously unreliable, honestly, even when they have the best intentions. I know you want and maybe need them but most people cant give back whats required sometimes. Its just human nature. They wont always be fully tuned in with you unless they know that they annoyed you. They probably have no idea.Try to take it easy at school, see if you can relax a bit and try not to worry. Easy for me to say isnt it, but I think it will help. Maybe you are overthinking things?', 'Hey you two, the offer is still here if those phone lines are still busy or dont exist ok! Not just me, lots of people read this, youre not alone.', 'Maybe the therapist is doing some good at some level, even if theyre just telling you stuff which seems obvious or not helpful. You do need to have someone to talk to, as friends and family can probably only help so much.Losing someone slowly or suddenly, both must be incredibly Pain. In your case you wrote that he would be angry that it was sudden and that you were there when it happened. While theres no way I can guess what he was thinking, I know that although I wouldnt want to put my wife and kids through that, theres also no one else Id rather have to keep me company for that inevitable experience. The terrible (on a personal level) truth for me and my family is that death will come to me too and the better relationship I have with my wife and children, the more Pain it will be. I can only hope that its a long way in the future and we have a lot more fun first. As a Dad/husband, I try my best to make the time with them as good as possible, even the knowledge that it will be Pain in the end. To take away possible Pain from when I do go, it would be best just to slowly withdraw, barely see them and ruin the relationship!Im (quite obviously) not trained in any of this, but when I go, I want my wife and kids to remember the good times (as youre doing with the slideshow presentation in your head). Id be urging them to please not hurt... even though its impossible not to. People say that the Pain never really goes away and I suppose thats normal, youve lost something, but as a Dad, Id want the Pain memories to be overridden eventually by the happy ones and would hope that its possible for that to happen within a reasonable amount of time, which I suppose is the "grieving" process :-/. As he was an exceptionally good Dad, that makes the Pain worse, in exchange only for him having had a great time with you and seeing you grow up and have a kiddy of your own - he would have loved every second of it, believe me. :-). Perhaps that was one of his last thoughts, as a Dad, Id be thinking "well this is shit, no regrets though, lovely daughter, family etc. love them."', 'Have you managed to get any help so far with these feelings? Maybe if you can get some professional advice (Doctor, counselling etc), this might help you get by without it feeling like a struggle all the time.', 'Hi, thanks for sharing, you can talk to us. There are also help lines it that works better for you, anonymous ones, although this may be fine for now.Reading your post, it sounds like that voice is the thing causing your problems and that possibly without it, things would be better (from what I read). I wonder what it is exactly and if its treatable? The human body is a load of chemicals stuck together, maybe a doctor can give you some medicine and you wont be hearing the voice any more. Id like it personally if you went to get checked out as that might be enough to get things sorted.Can you give that a try please? You could go there now, go to the A&E department honestly, its serious enough, they will help if you tell them whats going on.Anyway, please let us know how things go. There are people here who care and will try to help too.', 'Are things going any better today?', 'Hi, thanks for the details. Im really impressed. Yep you sound like youre at total breaking point but Im not surprised, you sound ridiculously busy and like youve really turned things around. Stopping drugs and getting solid work is excellent, cant fault it. The only thing missing is the reward and clear path to a well deserved lifestyle!Sometimes people post here then feel better later. I hope thats the case with you.From what you wrote, bettering yourself has actually worked, just its fucking hard and just doesnt quite feel worth the hassle considering effort put in. I reckon you need to keep going and that youre nearly there. Youve got us to cheer you on in the lamest way possible ;-)... How cheesy to write that but its true. Keep going please, it will get better. How can I be so sure? Well youve shown great drive and willpower to get to this stage. 1 year is a long time to be working hard on something. Its also a short amount of time in the sense of changing something, if that makes sense...IT jobs can be Tired stressful. Im in IT and the jobs have been Tired Tired good and also Tired Tired Tired bad. The place and colleagues make such a difference. Pay is also really really shit at first but eventually Tired good although it seems impossible to get there. My first job didnt pay enough for me to qualify for tax! Most of the time in IT, you move on the next place and get a pay rise. They tend to reward moving and getting experience of working at different places than promoting within an organisation. So youve got that... If you can just carry on at the place, then switch, that should work in theory... The IT people I see on low wages seem to be the ones who stay at the same place doing the same thing for 5 years+Ok! Well... Ill click send now but hopefully this helped slightly? :-/ My main points are that I hear you, it sounds like youve done well and please dont give up hope, you sound Exhaustion but in control.', 'Its hard to know what to say to that. Im sorry you feel that way. I dont think that anyone could never be loved by anyone in friendship or otherwise, were part of a society and theres all someone. Maybe you can make a trip to see your old friends?', 'No problem I didnt expect an immediate reply, just wanted to check :-).Seeing a counsellor sounds like good progress. They can help you come up with a plan. It is possible sometimes to start a year again, if needed, or if you can just work out what youre going to do and write it down then maybe that will help so you can have a plan and stick to it. For education and maybe also for what you want to change personally I suppose.Im still not sure about the disgustingness! Feeling disgusting and being disgusting are different... I dont think most people call anyone disgusting, it would be a bit mean but when assessing yourself, I suppose its possible to be Tired harsh. If its a weight gain thing then maybe you can draw up a new routine to go along with your studies and just make sure you 100% stick to it? Eating less (but still enough) seems to work easier than doing masses of exercise. They say you cant outrun your fork! I cant anyway :-)So for a routine, like get up, eat a, b or c, study whatever, go for a walk, Internet, eat something, I dont know... Something like that but better... I think living by your own rules gets rid of routine. I put on weight and had no discipline to study when I left home. Its hard but you can do it because you want it. Not that youre not doing it already, I dont know what your routine is.Not sure if thats helpful or just annoying... Good luck!', 'Hi, are you ok today? Do you want to talk about things?', 'Your post title is "natural selection". I wonder if youre looking at things a bit too logically?If you want to be totally logical and naturally select yourself out of the pool, you wouldnt need to kill yourself, you would just not reproduce, far safer right... However, I wonder if you maybe have Depression and thats clouding your judgement of what kind of person you are, leading you to think negatively. Sorry to guess, dont have much to go on.You said youre not fit for this world, but I cant help thinking that you are. I wouldnt put many people into that particular category... Have you been feeling like this for a long time?You mentioned a person in your post, so have at least one in the world Im guessing that would be Tired upset. You also have us (although that may not be too much consolation!)Could you tell us how long youve felt like this and maybe some of the things youre feeling please? You dont owe us an explanation of course, but it might help to talk things through and we are up for helping if at all possible.', 'Hi, ok were here with you... Lets see...So obviously I can only go by what you say so this is always guessing to start with so please bear with me. And you can let me know...Moving somewhere for education is a hell of a change, its true, I hope you can find energy for the adjustment, its crazy to begin with then changes drastically as you settle in (for the better). Been there, its hard to start.For the 18 and kissed once thing, thats not unusual, the media like to show everyone having sex with everyone really early but thats just a load of crap. At 18 loads of people are just starting out with relationships, or not, that just isnt covered much. Theres probably someone else just down the corridor in that same situation.You described yourself as revolting and disgusting. Now thats how you feel and I hate to disagree, but its got to be wrong...! I mean, if you feel that way then I can say you dont feel that way, but no one *really* properly fits that description... But I understand that you feel that way. Ive spoken to people before who say "Im so FAT!" and arent but cant see it. Or... If you have put on weight, people do lose it. I just wonder how you perceive yourself matches up with how others do. Theres just no way that people will think revolting and disgusting though, I think thats an internal voice and assessment.Are you in your first year? Educational places realise its a tough change. I failed my way through 1st and 2nd year. Resist after resit, scraping through, taking easier options etc. The teaching staff are pretty helpful, not sure if youve asked them for help yet but its worth considering.Erm... Well, Ill press send... Please let us know how youre doing. You sound quite hard on yourself and I think youve got a lot going for you and its fixable stuff. Sounds like a tough period but were here to talk to you at the Tired least, as well as other help obviously. What do you think? Can you let us know more?', 'How are you feeling today? Better than before I hope. Can we help you go through things?', 'Sport doesnt do it for me either, but it works for some and is definitely not a bad thing, so thats cool that you go the gym already. At least you wont have physical health adding to your worries and it keeps you in a good routine.Im sure people do like you by the way, otherwise they wouldnt talk to you when youre out with your dog. If they didnt like you theyd walk away *every* time. Dont worry if that happens though once in a while, they may be needing alone time, not have seen you or something.I bet you could be friends with the older people actually and that could be good in more than one way. Are they really quite old? I think that some old people are massively lonely sometimes if their children have grown up and moved away etc or theyve lost a partner. Spending time with the old guys/girls could be worth a shot and although maybe not what youre looking for, old people do have younger kids in their families, so you could meet an old person, then get invited round and meet younger people in the end (yes I know how bad this sounds). Not that old people arent good enough... I know this is a bit of a complicated plan, but it could work really well. Old people may have gone through all sorts of stuff in their lives so may be really understanding and a real support for you. Having said that Ive met some really self-righteous #@$%$^$ who are old :-D. To start that though, you could just ask if theyve got kids I suppose. Like asking "is there anyone else for [dog] to play with at home?" then going from there.By the way, this might be quite annoying that Im trying to "fix" this, but if it helps then I want to try suggesting stuff... Some plans may be really shitty but if one works out then its worth trying.If you look in Google for "military wives groups" there are some out there you could dtry. Watch out for scam sites though - Internet... There are definitely people in the same situation, there just have to be due to the nature of the military and people being working away.Birthdays, yeah... I think that out of my (few) friends, not a single one knows when my birthday is unless Facebook tells them, and I took my date off that recently. As a guy and a typical sexist too it seems, I dont know theirs either and dont care :-) haha. Literally lol, thats the way for us guys. Girls are different though (in my sexist mind) and I can definitely understand you being upset. Like you said, I suppose its a reminder. Let this be the first/last year though, next year will be sorted out, Im totally sure you can do this and you can talk to people on here for as long as you like. You said youre not "best", smart, talented, but I think thats just not true. You feel that way now but perhaps its because you may be ill to be honest, with Depression and loneliness (?), so it could be making you feel that way when youre really not. Watch out for that one, its fucking sneaky.Please let us know how things go.', 'Hi, first of all, happy birthday from me and probably everyone who read your message!Im sorry youre going through this, it sounds really really tough and I hope things improve really soon.Your boyfriend would be devastated if you did anything and once the army stuff gets a bit less busy, I think you could tell him how you feel once and for all, as its Tired important that he understands (you said he didnt, he must be made to!). If youre posting here, the situation is bad enough that he must be made to understand.Also I was thinking, are there any other army girlfriends in your area? I wonder if theres some kind of group? They might be a bit more understanding and helpful than the friends you described were.Facebook is totally unrealistic. People only post good stuff on there so it shows a completely fake one-sided lifestyle which is really hard to compare yourself to. Loads of people have shit lonely birthdays. Not that its right. I spend mine with my wife and kids (now that I have them), no one else is reliable enough! I remember my 17th well, youd think it would be with friends? Nah, alone! Things change though and literally the next year was ok again.Do you do any sport? They say thats good for Depression and it might find you some nicer friends than the ones you mentioned?Not sure if that helps you... Will you write back with a few more of your thoughts?', 'I think this can be alright... Ill be mostly guessing things here, but please bear with me. Then you can correct me ok! :-)First of all, it might be worth going to see a doctor. You mentioned the 20s blues, but there are some years left to go there, some people dont realise that they have Depression, taking quite a few years to realise whats going on. It would be quite annoying to struggle through some more years suffering when you could get help (if thats what is needed). Something to consider anyway.Ive been 22 and remember it well! Blues? Yep. Worry? Check! Actually quite a tricky time even if things are going well. 22 can be the start of major changes, maybe a job that pays slightly better, maybe meeting someone, taking up a new hobby (where you can meet someone). Youve got loads of options at 22. Even travelling if you feel like you need a really major change. Some people are studying, there was a feeling of frustration for me at that point as I wanted to break free and go travelling but felt I couldnt. Of course I could have actually, it was just me subconsciously deciding my priorities.Anyway, a few random points there based on me, not you, but I wonder if our situations are/were that different. If anything, I can guarantee that I really was 22 so weve got that...Corrections welcomed please, this is just to talk really... Can you tell me some stuff, whats going on with you etc? Stresses and worries etc? Therell be someone on here whos made it through something similar successfully probably. Or if not, we can at least listen to you and try to get it.', 'How are you feeling today?', 'Lots of peoples lives change dramatically at around 18 (or later obviously) but also its a time which can be Tired frustrating as you can feel like things may not work out. The "things" which you may be aiming to have in your life (partner, car, house, money, kids, job, whatever it is...), take a while to accumulate! At 18 youve barely had a chance to get them assuming you just finished school a couple of years ago at most then unfortunately took a job which you didnt enjoy. Within a year or two, or three, your life is likely to be completely different.Youre right that youve got a lot to live for. You seem like a logical thinker, thats attractive to employers so theres a chance to have a non-shitty job with nice people at some point. Many people meet their partners at work and a nice job can get you friends as well. Ive got a friend who was really depressed, changed job, met his now-wife, friends etc, it does happen. Also please remember that although some crazy stuff is reported on the news, its not all bad out there, the media just like to focus on whats "interesting" and puppies being rescued just doesnt make the cut. Youve also got a chance to do good things as well to improve the world, but please look after yourself first!Does any of that help or apply to you? :-S. Os gwelwch yn dda gadewch i mi wybod :-) - in English though perhaps, Google translate can only do so much!', 'This sounds really tough, Im so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy and I can see why you would be grieving like this.Your child, husband and mother are there for you I suppose, but its just not something that everyone would properly understand or be able to talk about for a long time. The therapist being expensive shouldnt come into it assuming you can afford it. You are worth the cost, if it helps and they should be professionally trained to talk about this.I cant offer much useful advice as I dont have the experience, but theres a /r/grieving reddit which may have some helpful people who can understand and help you better. Not to just send you off packing to there of course...I cant say "get well soon" etc, I dont think it works that way. All the same, Im thinking of you and sending positivity and Im sure anyone reading your post will be too, even if they dont all post replies.'] | Indicator | 137 |
user-423 | ['Im sorry. I wouldnt wish something Hyperactive behavior this on any being ever. My sister is a dancer and broke her foot, keeping her from dancing for a year. Her Ache and misery was terrible. We shouldnt be kept from the things we love the most. Since we both can understand each other pretty well, I had an idea for how we can help each other. Let me know what you think. If I go out of my way today to be responsible, to focus on a short-term goal (today thats working on my research), will you try your hardest to focus on doing something proactive/productive? A short-term goal Hyperactive behavior cleaning your room or making dinner or something Hyperactive behavior that. At the end of the day we can tell each other how we did. We can work together to try to help each other out of our ruts. ', 'Thank you for your reply. I really Hyperactive behavior the idea that its Hyperactive behavior an egg. Thats really helping my brain emotionally understand why its having so much trouble. I think Im going to make it through the day. Its always the night, the darkness where the Sad mood sets in, and thoughts creep out of the darkest part of my brain. ', 'I made it through the night. I had the most terrible dreams though. Dreams about exes, and dreams about bears attacking me. Im not sure what the deal was with bears. My Nightmares usually involve water. Part of this whole situation thats bothering me that my dreams brought up is my need to be validated by a relationship. I hate that the thing I Anxiety most about is how potential dates will look at me and judge me, because of my arm. I feel so stupid that thats one of my biggest worries. My need to be in a relationship terrifies me, but its Hyperactive behavior Im not whole or real without someone else there. ', 'I know Im in a completely different place with my injury than you are, but the feelings youve described of feeling Hyperactive behavior youre climbing mt Everest is a good way for me to describe my own feelings. My heart is burning with sadness and a desire to help you in some way. I dont know how to accomplish that especially given my current state, but at least I know the compassionate, almost-maternal, part of my brain continues to function as it always has. I am proud to say that I am working on setting up an appt with a counselor to talk about what Ive been going through.I want you to know that despite my own struggles, Im rooting for you to succeed in whatever capacity success would be for you. Your story has really touched me, and I know Im just some random suicidal guy on reddit, but Im hopeful for you. I care about what happens to you, and even if I never hear from you again, I will constantly be thinking about you, hoping it gets better for you. Thank you for pulling hope out of my body again Even though its not for me, I have something positive to gain from this feeling inside me. '] | Ideation | 423 |
user-335 | ['No', '> and theyre causing you to break into tears. This got me. I neither viewed it as an inducable variable/fact for my reason to create an image of my personhood nor didnt I consequently ever view me outside of myself to determine the meaning of that fact. Treating it Hyperactive behavior a dream instead, something that, as I am writing this am starting to do all over again, has given me the ability to recreate a false, purely on reason based identity. Your comment got me, but now it is being buried away as we speak... I just got to try this, it *has* to work out. FUCK, I know it wont. .. fuck this shit... I feel Hyperactive behavior an attentionwhore writing even this sentence. Even wanting to apologize to you guys feels wrong, I want/ need to get out of here, this never happened. sorry', 'This thread made me come up with the analogy between me or even suicidal thoughts in general and the 5 stages of grief. Im in the stage of denial, and stating or knowing that I am does not change the stage I am in. I still do not want to accept the reality that there is a part of me that thinks dying is a great solution to a problem I cannot see or rationally find. I want to kill that part of my personhood off. What am I suffering from? Why am I suffering? My suicidal thoughts are just a Ache in the ass and Im denying my entire personhood, self and feelings as a result. I am killing my identity, replacing it with one where I am emotionless, and nothing but my ideas and reason will constitute me. Again, similar to how my reason is contradictory with my feelings, this acknowledgement of both my identity which I want to kill and the stage of denial are contradictory too. Its fucked up. ', '> I usually consider Suicide to be redundant.This. It is such an unutilitarian thing to do, I instead fantasize about plans to perhaps kill Kim Jong-un so I wont Chest Pain my family and hopefully do the world some good too. If I am going to commit Suicide, it will be done in such a fashion that the most amount of people will get the most amount of happiness from it. Jumping in front of a train for example is an extremely selfish way to go, traumatizing the engineers and holding up hundreds of people. ', 'How did you even go about forcing yourself to do such small tasks? My schedule is beyond fucked up, with on average a 2-3 hour day-to-day difference in the time I go in and out of bed. Dinner often becomes breakfast and breakfast becomes dinner. Im thirsty/hungry as fuck right now, but I cant get myself to get out of bed and drink/eat something- Im skinny as fuck. I stopped making my bed in which I spend 20+ hours of my day and just Hypersomnia under and on some sheets instead. I had a bike worth 350 dollars in the city I study, which I lost/got taken by the city because I couldnt comply with the law that stated that bikes must be used every 8 weeks. I have subscriptions and contributions worth 10 dollars a month still running but are unused, because I cant get myself to post the letter to cancel the membership. ', '> It seems Hyperactive behavior youre fending off Mental Depression with apathy.Yes, I am extremely apathetic. > If youre at a university you should see a counselor.My suicidal thoughts are Hyperactive behavior a dream to me. Not because they are, but because I push them to be Hyperactive behavior that. Maybe Im in the stage of denial, denying that these thoughts occur at all. Talking to a counselor would make it too real; then it becomes reality, a real problem. ', 'Maybe you are just gifted? Not sure if you are, but just make sure you absolutely know yourself before you kill yourself. Because there are likely many unknown unknowns about yourself which, if you do figure them out, may give you something to work with. I had been diagnosed with some shit too, but medicine didnt seem to work. I asked myself *why?*, came to the conclusion that the nature of medicine is to alter x (dopamine levels, for example) to a state in which it is healthy, but if x was healthy in the first place, then it could be that your problems are caused by something y unknown to you. You even said: "maybe Im looking for somebody to change my mind, to give me that "Eureka!" moment since nothing before has worked". The eureka moment should not only be the above, but also the understanding of the significance that you were looking for one in the first place. 5th of January? Fuck that. That is far too less time to figure shit out. Therapists are generally dumbasses whose knowledge does not extend beyond to what some course told them to know. '] | Ideation | 335 |
user-25 | ['To update you guys friend called police in me got send to hospital. Im home now some one want to talk?', '15 here pm me please. Had a relationship that went south after she moved to England ', 'They use it as a threat to keep you alive. Im Im the same boat as you with my girlfriend I tell her and they threaten to call the police. It keeps you alive thats all I can say.', 'Exact same position as you. Gf cheated when she moved to England. Im 15 got Skype? Pm me! Also attempt suicide last Thursday', 'Remove that message of your number should have pmd it. You dont want bad people harassing you because trolls do pass through here.', 'Pm me your number or Skype or email or something!!!! I want someone to talk to too :) Im 15', 'Im trying to hold on dude tomorrow might be it', 'I tried before it didnt scare me away. I reattempted and again after that. Crying a lot right now.', 'If you know its Psychotic disorder than you know it isnt true.', 'Not my first love :) but thanks for trying to help. No just get home a sleep in the bathroom because I cant stand my family. And no with her I cant stand anyone l. I shut the lights and lay there to pretend Im dead its a lot simpler to just do it :', 'Same position as you and I would love to talk :)', 'Pm me again ', 'Im 15 wanna talk pm me ur number or Skype or something. I cut and have attempted suicide ', 'Dont give me that its just the constant let down of people around me to the point where Im done.I failed the first time in killing myself I wont fail again.', 'I have stuff I like doing and its fun and all but underneath Im dying inside so its not enjoyable and the meds arent working Im hopeless.', 'If you like rap the amazing lyricist who has passed now, Capital STEEZ was obsessed with the number 47. A great inspiration and a schizophrenic. All of his songs relate to it and sadly killed himself on 12/23/2012 which adds to 2047. Really interesting guy.', 'Still need Skype friend?', 'But that isnt how the system works, as much as you would like to believe that people who need help get help. In reality unless they can see it 100% you arent getting shit, especially with schizophrenia. If you know you need help but its all in your head you need to express to the less known that its a real problems so an act of someSort might be necessary. It isnt disgusting, the world isnt perfect. ', 'Dude you got Skype. Im in the same position as you. I build computers too. :) Edit: tried to end it last Thursday Im always free to talk. Life is worth it'] | Attempt | 25 |
user-464 | ['Xbox! Add l Lykke Li l . The l are lower cased Ls.', 'Im a little Social fear about going to the ER which would lead to the mental ward. :/', 'Thats pretty neat. I live in Northville. But thats in the Lake Erie area and youre in the Lake Michigan area (I think. )', 'I love Lana Del Rey! I do too. I usually do it to songs to kinda feel what I feel. Like Green Eyes by Wavves. The line that gets me is "my friends hate me ahh so what? Who gives a fuck?" It relates but I give a fuck. ', 'Thank you much. Ill message you when I really need to talk. My therapist (who is also a psychologist, if that helps.) said that it really isnt an issue with her because I hit my period at 8 or 9 yrs old. Crazy, haha. And idk if I would really call myself a 13 yr old. Im going to be 14 in 2 days hah', 'Im so sorry, 8srs9. Truly am. Is it okay with if I pray for you for God/Jesus to reveal himself to you and give you answers?', 'Im seeing a therapist. I see her twice a month. Ill talk to her about it when I see her', 'Following. (:', '14.', 'I have a hard time opening up as well. Because its hard to explain to others what you did and how it effects you if you cant even clearly explain it to yourself. Its also hard to tell people because you have no idea how theyll react to it and its hard because they dont really have an understanding of it.', 'Thank you! :)', 'Hahaha I love 7. My mom has a sun lamp so that can help. Thanks for the tips :)', 'Thanks. Sorry for you too. We can be "What did I just do?" buddies. :)', 'It depends for me. Sometimes itll really just come out of nowhere in full throttle. But sometimes I can notice within the first 1-3 days. I begin to become more impulsive, very happy but easily angered, I lose an appetite for food (not sure if everyone has this symptom tbh) and I lose a need for Hypersomnia.', 'Hmm... It says "no users found". Maybe follow me order and then I follow you?', 'Ugh :( Im sorry :(', 'Forgot to say excersising and having sex/masturbating gives endorphins as well.', 'Thats awesome. But the weather has been stupid here :(', 'What keeps me alive is probably a YouTube video Fatal 911 Suicide call by suicideafter. It makes me realize that my family, friends and people I dont know who care about me care about me.', 'Ill say my most recent one. Which was last Wednesday. I think my mom and I were Manic at the same time (yes were both Bipolar Disorder.) We were at White House Black Market (designer clothing store if some dont know) and we were shopping and we spent $1,200 in one shopping day. I can tell it was Manic (but not as erotic as other posts. Im only 14 [birthday was yesterday] so I cant really go out and buy coke and drive to Detroit. [i live 20 mins away from Detroit.] and have sex with girls because not many k ow Im lesbian.) because we hate spending money. The most we go is $300 per spending day. But we went a little more than $300 that day.', 'Sorry that you feel it, too. It sucks. So. Much.', 'Its pretty cool to know im not the only one feeling this. Aaahh "Im sorry" "I didnt Irritable Mood to" is story of my life. And that sucks, EFF0. I Irritable Mood, the song probably sounds really rad.. But not in that situation. Those moments can be embarrassing. And it is good to hear meds help. I only started Seroquel XR 2 weeks ago. But today I am also adding regular Seroquel and Lamictal to the mix. Hopefully, I can contain myself when they kick in.', 'I love your lip ring !', 'If you need someone to talk to you can message me. Even though I got diagnosed less than 10 hrs ago ill try my best to help. Also, did you just OD or are you talking about a while back ?', 'Oh jeez, thats pretty bad. Are you able to contact your therapist (if you have one) or p-doc? If you are able to you should really contact them and explain what is going on and see if you can tweek meds or get step by step help from your therapist.', 'Although I dont really know much about insurance, I think you should try Aetna. My parents use it and they cover people with pre-existing conditions (90% sure) . ', 'I got a kik! Add squidwardisababe', 'Bonnie & Clyde by Freedom Fry', 'Thanks! Theyre really supportive so I think theyll forget as well.', 'When I saw this, this genuinely made me cry. Dealing with this is a very hard thing to do if you have it or your friend has it. I think you should tell her about this video and how you saw it. Tell her you are going to be there for her. Ask her "how are you?" Every once in a while. All you really need to do is let her vent to you. Hug her. Tell her how much you care about her, her family cares about her, her boyfriend, her friends, the public. Try to answer every single txt or call or whatever she sends to you because you do not know when she is on the verge of tipping or not. (Trust me, one time I didnt reply to a friends txt and she ended up going to the er and being admitted to a mental ward for trying to kill herself.) and whenever she says she has cut, dont get Anger but say you love her so much and you will do anything to help her stop. Trust me, cutting makes you do a heck lot of bad stuff. It caused me to have a slight alcohol dependency at the age of 13. Whatever you do, dont stop loving her.', 'This made me laugh because for school I had to read Old Man and the Sea by Ernst Hemingway to make connections for religion and I had a 1 hr rant on how I didnt Hyperactive behavior how the Old Man took so many days to get the fish and then have the fish mauled by a shark. Ha. ', 'Thank you for the hug. I apologized last night, but she gave no reply. But I know she read it. Its going to be awkward on Thursday because thats when I am going to see her. (For church because our little youth group is on Thursdays) Ill try my best to have a nice day. My mom let me Hypersomnia in until 9 am. Although she doesnt know whats going on, she just gave me it. Lucky me. Thank you for the advice.', 'I cut when Im in the shower. Which is at 10 pm. I cut in the shower because no one is going to walk in on you. I shower for about 5-10 (taught myself how to powershower) minutes and then I spend 20-30 minutes cutting. I cut when I sit on the toilet (lid is up. Not actually going to the bathroom) and once Im done with the shower part I turn off the shower and continue cutting for 5 minutes. Then I get dressed and I usually wear a sweater. Because they hide my cuts and theyre comfy to Hypersomnia in. And then before I leave I wait a minute and then flush my bloody tissue paper down to toilet to make it look Hyperactive behavior I went to the bathroom. And then I go to bed. ', 'Thank you! And will do. ', 'Im only 14 and I have Bipolar Disorder type 2. I take 200 mg of lamictal and 300 seroquel xr . I get really low lows where I self harm badly for two weeks and then next day Im suddenly okay. It gets me really Confusion because I have no idea why Im suddenly better and I dont have a reason why. I can think constantly about Suicide and Ill gain weight, stop doing homework, and spend my days in my bed. But when I get into hypomania, I get a bad case of hypersexuality. I already have a Drug abuse libido so it doesnt really help. I can get really productive. I brought candy for each person in my grade (but only 25 people in my grade so it doesnt really matter) and gave them a note of complements for them. It was nice. I get really creative so I make really good stories and they can be very long. I read constantly, I learn how to make new recipes, I play instruments 24/7. Although it sounds fun, I get Anger very easily. I broke my turn table, sims games, pillows, tv, itouch, walls, gym bags, books, and the shower drapes. I also took a golf club and made holes in the wall with it. I locked myself in the bathroom for the day. And I dont Hypersomnia for 1 or 2 days. I also broke the dryer machine. I have also gotten suspended. I have also hallucinated that there were alien space ships outside my room. I have also had Delusions that I was the antichrist. Ask your parents to go to a doctor before you try to diagnose yourself.', 'Im on meds, I see a therapist and pdoc. Its nice to know you know what it is Hyperactive behavior. Im new to meds (diagnosed with bpII 2 weeks ago) and Im still adjjusting. Ill try running. It seems good. Yeah I know a lot wont understand, sucks. Hopefully she will come around, but I understand if she wont. Really really sad, but I understand.', 'Snows great, but seriously, its spring break.', 'Thanks ! ', 'Hey again. Did you recently take the 38 pills or was that a while back ? If it was recently please go to an urgent care or er. Because I think you need your stomach pumped. I dont want you to OD. Also if you are contemplating Suicide please call 1-800-SUICIDE. Kinda generic but they can really help. You can message me, too. (Even though I just diagnosed less than 10 hrs ago ill try my best to help. As also Im 14, 14 yr olds are kinda dumb) You can go onto compassionpit.com for help as well. Go onto r/suicidewatch. ', 'Im afraid to check into one because I dont want to be there for more than one week. Im afraid of what people at school or other places will ask me and I have no idea what to say if its more than 1 week. It would be so much easier to go after I get into summer break. Which is June 5th', 'Thank you very much! That really really helped.', 'Hey. Im sorry youre feeling this way. I have a lot of these unknown moments as well. Please dont do this. I care about you too much to let this go unnoticed. So, in my little attemp to help you out of this I want you to do at least one of these things; Go onto compassionpit.com it is a great way to anonymously vent and have others help you. Go draw, dance, sing (even if you have a bad voice. Its quite fun either way.) , read, listen to music, or talk to someone close. These are all ways that give your brain endorphins without having a consequence. Feel better and know that i care about you.'] | Behavior | 464 |
user-281 | ['It really is Hyperactive behavior that, isnt it?Loneliness never leaves. Even bringing it up incites mockery. I was thinking earlier today about how Ive wanted to die, more or less, for over a decade. I keep telling myself it will get better, or there is always some other thing to try, but that appears to be nothing more than a lie. A carrot on a stick to string me along from day to day. People in solitary confinement eventually go insane. I feel Hyperactive behavior I need to kill myself before my Sad mood consumes whatever small bits of human are Ventricular Dysfunction, Left in me.When I had friends, I remember that happening. Im in my late 20s now, so most everyone I know (knew) is in relationships or getting married. I havent been touched in almost a decade. I cant even bring up how much that hurts without Abnormal dreams mockery. It does Chest Pain though. It hurts so much I want to cut myself, something i havent done since I was a teen. But what else am I supposed to do? I have to let these feelings out somehow. Meditation cant cure the need for human contact. I guess its my fault, it has to be. I just dont get what is broken about me, or what I did wrong in a past life to be so inherently offensive as to not be worth touching. Am I made of poison? Am I poison? I wonder that sometimes. I must be. Its scary what other people wont tell you about yourself, that they clearly see.I just dont get it, and no amount of personal change or venting will change it. I dont get it. I guess I am broken and do deserve it. Death appears to be a slow journey. I understand why those statistics ramp up as you get a bit older. You forget the lies you told yourself to make it each day.'] | Behavior | 281 |
user-247 | ['Please dont harm yourself. Maybe the reason you need to tell someone is because theres a connection missing. Can you just tell your boyfriend you need to watch tv with him tonight? Being in his company doesnt mean you have to unload on him. Is it enough just to be with him for tonight, and face tomorrow when it comes?Please, dont harm yourself. There are people who care about you.', 'University, believe it or not, is the worst time to make conclusions about what the rest of your life should be. And you have a whole life ahead of you to sort out romantic relationships. Depression stalks university campuses like a demon, but its your brain lying to you. Please dont believe those lies. Please talk to someone. I cannot promise you that tomorrow will be better, that would be foolish - but you will not feel like this forever.', 'Well, you know youre going to have rough patches and terrible, overwhelming emotions. I mean, you know yourself, you know youre having a hard time right now. So can you plan some sort of response when you recognize those emotions coming? When I was struggling, Id walk to a 24h cafe around the corner, get a cup of decaf and a sweet roll, and do a crossword. It didnt solve anything major, but it got me the distance from desperate and despairing to bummed and coping, and more importantly, I *knew that it would get me the distance*. Having a plan made a huge difference.', 'I think that you have to be a lot more out there than you sound to be involuntarily committed. If you speak plainly about that Fear to your counselor, and openly about what youre feeling and the way you *want* to feel, youll be on the right track, and they wont commit you. Let me put it another way. The people who voluntarily go to counseling dont end up involuntarily committed. Thats saved for the people who dont go to counseling, who dont leave their rooms, or who dont obey the authorities, etc...', 'Well, the other people are wrong and your counselor is an idiot. Your counselor is meant to throw you a lifeline, not stand on the shore and shout swimming lessons.If you had diabetes, would they say You should not need so much insulin?You feel the way you do. It doesnt have to define you, but you dont have to deny it, either.Its not your fault. Its. Not. Your. Fault.', 'Please dont end your life. Prove to your family that theyre wrong.', 'You are making good sense, realizing what youre afraid of and thinking through to a solution you can tolerate. For completely different reasons I myself spent 8 hours in an emergency room yesterday. I get that its shit.It sounds like you know what you have to do - go to a hospital.You can tell them why youre there. You can tell them about the Ativan, you can tell them what makes you Anxiety about being there and they will understand and work with that. Tell them you want to co-operate with them and take their advice. It actually makes their job a lot easier when you do. I just think that if you go to a hospital now, you will be doing something to help yourself, which in and of itself will make you feel better. If you just sit around and wait for Monday, you wont be helping yourself, youll just be prolonging your suffering. I know that being in an ER is awful, but you have to remind yourself over and over again why youre there, and that the bullshit going on around you on the other stretchers is Not. Your. Problem.And bring headphones and relaxing music if you can. And a couple of sandwiches. :)', 'Never is a lie your Illness tells you in your Asthenia moments. But its still a lie. You will not feel like this forever, you will not be broken forever. You are going to counseling, you are writing, you are trying. It will work - it may not work as fast as you hope, but it will work.And someone will see the strength it takes to keep trying, and they will fall in love with that strength. Youll be loved for all the things about you that are mended and whole.You deserve to feel better than this. Im sorry youre feeling this way right now. But you are so much more, so much better than the way you feel in this moment.', 'You could go for a walk after breakfast tomorrow. Do one small thing that didnt seem lazy. ', 'Heh. I get stabbing pains. Times like that I remember Bruce Willis in Sin City and try to feel badass. ', 'Im sorry to hear that youre hurting. Im chronically ill too - Ive been off work since June. Please dont harm yourself. Tell us whats going on.', 'The creepshotting sounds like its not really doing you any favours - making you feel worse about yourself, because youre doing something that you know deep down is wrong. Objectively, photographing these women without their consent is wrong. Try leaving your phone at home for the day. I mean, in a real emergency, someone else will have a phone. Most importantly, this is highschool. It doesnt define your life, and it will not always be like this.', 'Is there a music store close to where you live? They usually have sign-up boards for people looking to form bands, and perhaps someone can help fix your guitar... You could even make an ad for yourself, that youre looking to join. List influences, and some ridiculous stuff that you can be counted on to do/not do when you make it big, e.g. You can be counted on to wreck a hotel room only after the second album goes platinum, etc.', 'Hey there. First of all, 18K and college-age Depression, while a real problem, is not worth ending your life over. I promise, this hole is not so deep you cant dig yourself out of it.Im a project manager for a Tired large software company. I know a lot of CS grads (or people who tried to become CS grads and got lost along the way.) Believe it or not, theres a type of intelligent Loss of motivation which is a huge asset to the industry, as it reduces waste. I know that doesnt help you now, but it will help you when you get to your career.Perhaps you need to take a year off and work at McDonalds or something to give yourself the wakeup call that you need to push yourself to your degree.You have all kinds of options. If the counselor didnt work out, request a different counselor. Do that in the morning. For now, read a book, eat something, and get some sleep. This is not the nightmare it might look like right now.', 'You need sleep. These are issues for daylight. ', 'Who is therapy for, if not for the people who want to end their lives?Your mom may seem like shes never happy with you, but shes happier with you alive than dead. And you cant just erase yourself from peoples lives. If you kill yourself, you leave a gaping wound in the lives of all the people who cant be there for you anymore.', 'Okay, lots here and Im not sure my answer will be complete, but it sounds like your GF has been helping you stay grounded even if your relationship is far from perfect. My suggestion is that for a while, a week, maybe a month, just put any and all relationship expectations aside, and just *look after each other*. When she comes over, smile at her, ask if you can make her some scrambled eggs and give her a hug. Perhaps later she can throw a frozen pizza in the oven for you. You dont have to be an adonis. You dont need to be solving every single problem in each others lives. Just watch some tv and give the other person a soft spot to land. Start there.The problems and issues you are facing are bigger than a partner can help you get through. She can offer support, but shes not the solution. Youre not her solution, either. But in some ways, and this is only my opinion, mind - you could consider not trying to solve the rest of your life, but rather, just solve tomorrow. Manage that.Please dont harm yourself.', 'please dont. Youve already been through so much... Yes, the fight is fucking hard, no lie. But if you keep fighting, you will rise above this bullshit and see daylight again. Depression ends. Kick back at it and dont give up, theres more to you than that.', 'Slow down. Write out whats wrong, slowly and carefully, and show your parents.', 'What happened?', 'Whoa. Please keep in mind that when your mom threatens to kill herself, she is *trying to exert control over you by threatening to kill someone you care about*. Shes using a threat of violence in an attempt to manipulate you. Of course you cant let her do that. I would suggest talking to a counselor about it, perhaps asking your mom to join you to talk to a family counselor. But its not up to you to bail out your mom at the expense of your own future, and a healthy parent would never, ever let you do that, anyways.', 'Sometimes, rather than thinking about what youre going to do with the life ahead of you, could you just decide on a couple of things youre going to enjoy about tomorrow? Sometimes we just need to take life in manageable sized pieces.You can make it through this - Im glad youve decided not to harm yourself.', 'Please dont end your life. PTSD doesnt deserve to win. Call a hotline, do something else. There are better days, better moments to live for.Theres ice cream you havent tried.', 'Umm, I guess I dont understand. Pardon me if this sounds harsh, (Im sure that it will, Im really sorry) but how do you reconcile having a relationship with him and your decision to end your life? If it were me I dont see how I could avoid taking that as a rejection, and a brutal one at that. I mean, in this scenario, one of the things youre saying is that you never want to see him again.\r\rAlso, have you considered that your suicide is a decision to kill someone he cares about?', 'Dude, you did everything right. You gave it your all. Her failings, her infidelity - these are things wrong with her, not with you.You deserve better than this. But better days than this will come your way. But until better days come, youll have to make do with just being the better man. And you are the better man, regardless of what the faithless bastards of the world think.', 'This is not the end. Maybe the way out is slow and Pain, but when you get there, youll know you made it. Ive been homeless in a strange city, and I climbed back. You can too.', 'Heh - I never made the connection, but yeah, a good walk does me a lot of good.I think I made the username around when I got some bad news last year. I just made up my mind to keep putting one foot in front of the other until things looked better.', 'Please talk to someone. You dont have to say much when you call a hotline. Even start by saying Hi. Im having a hard time. I wrote a post on reddit which explains what Im thinking. Can I read you what I wrote? and then just read what you wrote above, to them. Read them my response, the whole conversation if you want. Then, just listen to them, answer their questions, and tell them you dont want to feel like this anymore. Everyone thinks that nobody will understand - but the reason there are hotlines is because there are people who *do understand*. There is help if you ask.Please, dont harm yourself tonight.', 'Could you even plan a couple of days, say the 29th-30th, where youd just have some time to watch some movies, eat some wings, and relax? You need to give yourself something positive to look forward to.', 'I dont know what to say to you, except that your daily choice not to give into your disorder is a choice to live with dignity, and I respect you for that.', 'So, take her without insurance. Have the doctor write a letter to the parents, asking for their help. Medical Letterhead carries a lot of weight.', 'Well, Im not going to try and pawn off some trite cliche to make you feel better. I know that your issues are real. I just think you sound like youre only seeing the negative sides of everything, and that you may be experiencing a cognitive distortion - something that comes with Depression. You may have stopped caring for the most part but you posted something here, some part of you still cares, still wants to be taken care of. I mean, its reddit. Youre not gonna find a miracle here. But please talk to someone, check in with someone and see if the way youre viewing things is completely accurate.', 'Why do you think hed try to stop it, if he understands?', 'Write something on paper and give it to him. It might be easier than talking about it. ask for a hug because youre hurting. Hes your boyfriend. He cant save your life, but he wants to take care of you.Hes also a guy, so he might be a bit thick. :D ', 'Youve got your plans. Can you make a list of other thoughts that might strengthen your desire to live?', 'Heh. I like that perspective. Live to justify the work your heart is doing.', 'Hey now. Youve come through too much to end it like this. And I think your wife would have an easier time dealing with your gender issues than dealing with your suicide. Talk to her, talk to someone. You care too much about others (as shown by your service and your marriage) to take the easy way out.', 'WHOA.You did not choose the sexual assault and it was not in any way your fault. Do not believe that lie. Just because you may have allowed yourself to become vulnerable does not make you responsible for someone elses decision to take advantage of that vulnerability.It is not your fault. It was never your fault. You did not do anything to deserve that.At the hospital they will try to help. Isnt that better than where you are now? Please dont Pain yourself. You deserve better. Youre worth so much more than that. ', 'Please dont. Tell us whats going on.', 'Yes, but the cats you left behind wouldnt understand. Can you talk to a social worker? There are better options than killing yourself. The reason your mom cant deal with it anymore is because she cares about you. What is your Illness that keeps you going back to the hospital?', 'Cool enough. Go to sleep, I gotta do the same.', '1. Im a Catholic, and I dont think you living your life is a sin. Im sorry to hear that your father views things that way, but your father is wrong, flat-out wrong.2. Your transition puts a lot of Stress on you, such that I must presume you have some sort of counselor. Failing that, there must be a LGBT resource center or something where you could at least find someone to talk to. Your problems are real and they are difficult, but they are not unique. You are a good person, and the troubles that happen are there by dumb chance, you dont deserve this. Throw your anger, your grief and your past into the waters, but keep your Oedema of extremity on the shore, for the sake of the people who may need you tomorrow, and for the sake of the joy youve yet to feel.', 'Please dont. At 18 life is always a terrible battle. But its worth the fight. Where does all your money go? Are you deep in debt, paying interest? Do you have support commitments?', 'Okay. Well, if youll permit the wild understatement of the obvious, you have a lot going on there.What are you doing to get help about this? Are you talking to a counselor or a doctor? Because what you describe makes it sound like you need to meet these mental issues on five fronts: Diet, Exercise, Medication, Counseling and Psychiatry. You dont have to set up everything at once, but you do need to shift your focus away from what your brain is saying to you, and towards what you are doing to speak back to and control your brain.Dont give up. ', 'Sorry - two years ago I was in the hospital and it took me 6 months to go back to work. Heart troubles.What is your family saying?', 'Why do you say that?', 'No problem. Youre not alone.', 'Please dont. Youre stronger than that.', 'Slow Down. Hes not deployed yet. You have made it this far, you will make it through this.', 'Okay, first off, there are hotlines you really should call if youre Worried youre going to Pain yourself. Heres the link:http://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlinesSecond, the fact that she did this is in no way your fault. Its not your fault that she made that terrible mistake. You should definitely talk to someone about this - between her death and whats happening with your dad, you really do need some proper outside help, more than reddit can offer.', 'here as well. Can text you if youd prefer.', 'If youve got Lupus erythematosus then youre likely on prednisone? You know that stuff messes with your head, right? Please just get some sleep and message me in the morning. If I lived in the same city as you Id meet you at Dennys, because nothing really gets worse on the other side of a Lumberjack Slam.', 'Goodnight. Well be around tomorrow. Im glad youre alive.', 'Well, you can tell them youve thought of it but that youve decided not to harm yourself. But you have to be honest about that. If you talk openly with the counselor they can help more. It wont make things worse, you wont lose your freedom.', 'Youre strong enough for the move. There will be times that youre not enjoying it, and it wont solve all your problems. But youre certainly strong enough.', 'Hold on there. First off, please dont do anything to harm yourself. Second, its fine to have a gun but is there any way you could remove the ammunition from your possession? Just to be safe, so that you dont do something regrettable on impulse. It sounds like you have a level head on your shoulders - dont make a mistake on an impulse, take the steps to protect yourself.If youve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder then you know that your feelings are lying to you about your circumstances. Is there any way you can train yourself to draw again, to overcome the negative thought patterns? Can you start by choosing the time of day when you know youre at your best, and then just draw something small and simple that youre happy with? Do that once, and then build on it?Youre going to have bad days. Probably a lot of them. But if youve got talent, and it sounds as though you do, then maybe you can stretch the good days into something worth more than the bad days. Please, please dont harm yourself.', 'That is, in fact, the **only** thing that ends a relationship, when someone doesnt want to make it work anymore. And when you realize that they dont want to, then its just over. The decent thing to do, the *healthy* thing to do, is to wish them well, and move on. Maybe this broke your heart, but you know what she didnt do? She didnt waste your time. Because your heart can mend, but you cant get your time back. ', 'Please call 911 now and tell them exactly what you took. It will make things much easier. Your family/friends who left you alone will feel better if you take the steps to look after yourself.', 'Loneliness and Feeling unhappy arent the only things the future holds.Get some sleep tonight, tomorrow, eat a good breakfast and just go for a walk. You dont have to change your life. Just change your morning.', 'Well, one thing at a time. What would help you to make it through until Monday? Dont try and solve all of your problems right now. If you dont think youre going to make it until Monday, could you go to an emergency room? (I know they seem awful, but they are full of people trying to help as much as they can) ', 'Heh. Part of my job is to hire and manage CS Majors. The people who flunk out, take some time and go back always make better employees, because theyve seen a few things other than a courseload and theyre more well-rounded.Have you looked at Agile Software Development? It wont fix your brain tonight, but its interesting and I know I need more people who get it.', '> When I am alone, I get things done but think about killing myself.This may seem like a really dumb, dumb question, but this is what sprang to mind:When youre working by yourself, do you listen to music? I used to ruminate when I was alone, my mind would go round and round in Pain circles. Standing at the sink getting dishes done would bring on mental anguish for no reason. But then I started putting together playlists of music I liked, and honestly, it was like candy for my brain. Instead of ruminating, I groove. Its better.I dont hold this up as a complete solution, just a helpful suggestion, and to let you know youre being heard. Dont give up.', 'Im sorry youre feeling like this. I have all this advise for you but I imagine you get lots of it. Just remember that youre a good person, and that the things you want arent bad. Perhaps your girlfriend is just as fragile as you are, but she hides it behind anger.', '...sometimes people just dont know what to say. But yeah, I scroll through looking for posts with no comments, trying to say something. The worst thing to think of is someone sitting there on the edge, trying to find some shred of encouragement here and being met only with silence.But hey, thats the double-edged sword that is internet anonymity. Nobody is real, so nobody has to care.', 'Can you call a hotline and explain this to them? This is bigger than reddit can handle.What you describe to me doesnt sound like you gave consent at all - it sounds like you were assaulted. You said stop - that isnt consent. Being scared into silence isnt the same as giving consent. The man who did that was wrong. You werent wrong.Im sorry for making you describe it. Im not trying to make you feel worse. I just dont want you to feel like this is your fault, because it so clearly isnt. You deserve to live without feeling like that. You deserve to be happy.', 'Is there someone consistent you can reach out to online? Is there a hotline youd try calling? Is there any sort of list of things you can promise yourself youll do before you decide to end your life?', 'Heres what you should do.Go see a doctor, show him this letter. Discuss with him the idea of dropping down to a partial course load rather than full-time. Then, find out what counseling your school offers.And go to counseling. You might find encouragement here on Reddit, but you wont find solutions. Solutions will take work. But in the end, you will feel stronger for having found them. Its worth the struggle. Your circumstances do not define you.', 'My friend, its late where I am and I have to go to sleep, Im falling asleep at my keyboard here. Can we follow up tomorrow? ', 'Okay, slow down. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things in the heat of the moment. It happens.Whats the situation now?Do you think you could go to your wife and tell her that despite your Depression and what youve been thinking, you arent going to kill yourself, and youre going to devote yourself to being the husband and father youve promised her youll be? Can you do that? Youre allowed to have dark thoughts. You just need to have the confidence to overcome them, and your wife is entitled to that confidence, too.', 'Well, you cant be blamed for not knowing the answer to that one just yet. If you could do anything tomorrow, what would you do?', 'One way to avoid the drama is to decide for yourself that there doesnt need to be any, and then communicate that. Even simply saying I am not going to harm myself to a hotline person, is enough to get their finger off the panic button so that they can just talk.', 'No problem. I have to call it a night, so goodnight. Thanks for letting me end my evening on a more positive note. Hearing someone say I can make it through this is a big encouragement to a lot of people.Goodnight, keep up the good fight.', 'You know, she admits that she cheated. Nobody is perfect, but someone who knows their faults and admits them, thats actually kind of rare. Ask her if shed ever cheat again, as you have a bit of an interest. If you believe what shes said so far, I think that you could believe her answer. Give her permission to come to you and admit that she wants to cheat if she finds that she does. Nobody gets perfection, but honesty such as shes claimed so far is rare. ', 'Thats your Illness lying to you. The truth is it gets a little better with every good choice you make.', 'If she doesnt want to try, then the ingredients arent there. You cant make a person feel something they dont feel. What makes you think it would work, when you know that she doesnt want to make it work?', 'Youre part of a family. You have a wife, at least. Remember when you talk about ending your life youre talking about killing the most important person in her life.', 'Well, right now Im just text on a screen. Someones voice can be far more effective at conveying concern and empathy. I mean, I really dont want you to do anything to harm yourself. You would believe that a great deal more, however, if you could hear it in my voice. And Im just some guy, I dont even know the right things to say.', 'Please flush the heroin down the john. You dont have to be strong enough for tomorrow, not for next week. Just be strong enough to flush the heroin away. Start there.', '1. Its been said before in this thread: *You are not your father.*2. Get some sleep, eat a good meal and go for a walk in some sunshine. All of those things will have an effect on your brain, that will let you level out and see things more clearly.3. Tell your mom you need to talk to a counselor and ask for her help setting it up.', 'Please dont harm yourself. Is there something you can do thats outside yourself this holiday season? Is there a place you could volunteer, like a soup kitchen or something? Sometimes the way around our own problems is to look after others for a while. (Hence Im writing this to you...) ', 'Example? Not sure I understand the type of post you mean.', 'Have you tried calling a suicide hotline? Because if youve got to listen to voices anyways, you might as well hear some from real people who want to help.', 'Please dont do this. You have people who love you.', 'No no - dont draw conclusions based on incomplete information. Yes, they would try to talk you out of it, but the conversation doesnt end there. You work with them to make a plan to *make tomorrow different*. You want to break this cycle. Theyre there to help you figure out how to break the cycle, not just talk you out of things.', 'Im sorry to hear this is going on. Ive been off work since June myself with a chronic Illness - its hard for me to climb the stairs in my house now. Im trying new medications. I have to get better to look after my children. Im not trying to say I have it as bad as you - you sound like youre in a lot of Pain, and a lot of Stress. I just wanted you to know that I get it. Please keep fighting, dont give up. This story can end as your great victory, something you fought for and something that makes every day sweeter. When I recover Im going to take my family to the mountains and go hiking. What do you want to do when you get past this?', 'Please dont Pain yourself without talking (voice) to a support line. ', 'I dunno. It sounds to me like youre setting yourself up for failure with a schedule like that. What do you do to distract yourself, aside from reddit?', 'Please dont. ', 'What youve just described sounds like textbook clinical Depression. Im not a doctor so I cant diagnose that for a fact. But what I do know is that when you have clinical Depression, *your brain is telling you lies to get you to Pain yourself*. You sound as though you have been believing these lies for a long time. And yes, when youre clinically Depression, every day seems like a misery. But thats not the truth, thats only what your brain is telling you. Please talk to someone and ask them about what really is true in your life, dont assume to know it. Your brain is lying to you on this one.', 'Slow down. You are worth more to your parents than the money they spend. Perhaps youre struggling to make the most of the opportunities they provide, but that doesnt make you worthless. That makes you human. It sounds like you care about your parents, and what they think. Please talk to them, or talk to someone.', 'I know youd rather have some certainty, but from what you describe, it sounds like youll never have the whole story. You simply have to let this go, and accept that some answers arent given to us.', 'Okay, have you talked to your family about where youre at? I mean, your situation is why families exist.I see your post about PTSD/ Major depressive disorder. Those things are real. This mess isnt your fault. Its okay to ask for help. I know - right now I have a heart condition that has me bedridden. Ive missed the last month of work and am waiting for them to fire me. Im only 40, and I have a 19 month old son with Down syndrome. I get through by asking for help.', 'Youre not disgusting. I understand that you feel wrong and disgusting but your *feelings are lying to you*. What you describe sounds exhausting, it also sounds like you should talk to someone. Is there a teacher you trust (You sound student-aged) or a counselor? Could you start by calling an anonymous hotline?', 'Please speak to a counselor. The way you describe your thoughts speaks to a mental Illness - Depression, at least. But this is reddit and Im of course not a doctor. If you do get diagnosed with a mental Illness, or if you have been already, remember that its an **Illness**. You wouldnt tell a Diabetes mellitus to shake it off or someone with polio that there are lots of people who have it worse, so they should just walk already. Dont be hard on yourself because youre not well.You have a family, there are people who would miss you. Please dont do anything Rash - reach out and talk to somoene.', 'I wish I could wash your past away with kind words, but we both know that isnt how it works. You need to work through it - but working through it doesnt have to be miserable, and it doesnt have to happen today.I have a lot of Pain too - I have to take Dilaudid most days. I make jokes about it with my friends, send them texts telling them when Im taking it, telling them about how Im getting stoned. Its a farce. I never get high, I just get some small respite for an hour or so. Nobody ever has time to be Illness. My son has Down syndrome and all the extra care he needs Falls on my wife now. I get where youre coming from about not catching a break. My wife works so hard and I can do so little to help.Do you know anything about your condition? One of the things I did was educate myself and start asking for different tests. Now when I go to the emergency room I essentially talk to the doctors like most people talk to waiters. "Heres what Im here to find out, so Id like a bedside ultrasound if you can, and I know youre doing bloodwork so lets check my CRP while youre looking at troponin levels, that should tell you if this is the real deal or not... now for Pain management, Ill have a..."Going in armed with a little knowledge, as long as youre polite, will get you a lot farther. Your symptoms sound like some sort of autoimmune disorder. Are you on prednisone? I dont recommend it (For one thing, Im not a doctor, Im a schmuck on reddit) but if you are on prednisone you should know it can play merry hell with your emotions.', 'It sounds to me like they dont know what to say. That doesnt mean they dont care. what would you want the next 6 months to look like?', 'I dont know... do you want feedback on this or not?', 'Do you want to quit the drug? Do you want to get out of the pit youre in?', 'On a serious note: Please seek help. Talk to someone. You sound angry, which suggests that theres still things you care about. Please talk to someone professional.On a lighter note: (pardon me for being light-hearted) Dont focus on whats wrong all the time. Possibly somewhere nearby to you theres a place where you can get really good tacos. Find those tacos, man.', 'You need to get her help. Take her to a doctor yourself. This is bigger than just you.', 'Look. When you got married you gave your life to her. You bound yourself to her. You promised to love her, and she the same to you. Telling her is honoring that bond. Killing yourself is breaking it in the most selfish way possible. And when youre gone, I assure you, shed want you to have spoken to her instead of ending your life.Perhaps it drastically changes your relationship with her. Possibly ending your marriage. But again, you are hers - you owe it to her to talk about this. Dont take the selfish way out.', 'I really dont think your view right now is accurate. Please dont make a decision based on the way things look right now, your brain is playing tricks on you. Please talk to someone, show them that post. You need help, not an escape.', 'Youre not bothering us. We want to help.', 'Please dont harm yourself. I dont claim to have answers, Im not out to get you. Please, dont harm yourself.', 'Im sorry youre not getting the kind of calm, reassuring care that would help you work through this. What you write about sex and breakfast shows me that you, at one time, wanted to enjoy your life. Why wouldnt you seek to get back to that place?', 'Fair enough | Indicator | 247 |
user-237 | ['I started anti-DP treatment this morning.Feeling like a turd.I just had the worst night filled with ala Ripper victorian horror nightmares.Im alive but I still dont see where Im heading now, I feel Ive been doing so much wrong around me all my life, hurting myself and those who tried to love me.I was just trying to get it right by myself, out of pride, like a selfish bitch that I am. I didnt want chemical help because I see this as Asthenia (sorry to fellows who rely on it, you can have a good laugh at me now).Im trying hard to relax, surrounded by records and Smith the cat (Im a Redditor, after all).I guess that moving from /r/SuicideWatch to /r/depression/ can be called a success, somehow.I now have an additionnal therapist, my relatives are trying their best not to leave me by myself those few first days of treatement, but Id like to keep on conversing here too, as I realized I feel more confortable online.Maybe someday I can return the favor. Thanks again.', 'I started AD treatment after refusing it for years, maybe I wanted to prove myself I could overcome this on my own. But the results are what they are: my pride led me to failure in my professional and personal life.I never gave up before though.I always got myself back in the race because I always found hope in something.My hope is gone. Now what?', 'I am willing to talk.Im recovering from an attempt to take my life, and just started treatment.I dont know what will turn out of it, but I know for sure Im better at helping others than myself.Try me. Whats your deal?(If anyone reads this and thinks this is a bad idea, please tell me)', 'Im aware of the time it takes to kick in. They were prescribed by a new psychiatrist I started seeing.The hard time is before/after sleep. For now, I just cant begin to forgive myself.I dont want to be a victim, but then it means its all my fault.Someone I really cared about left because she couldnt deal with my anxiety. I dont blame her though.I blame myself.', 'I just started taking those just a few days ago (10), because I tried to kill myself. I have a hard time writing this down...First I thought about ways of doing it, I still dont know if I really wanted to die, but the fact is I ended emptying a full bottle of benzodiazepine with alcool.I feel so ashamed.I just wanted the Pain to go away.', 'IMO, crisis is a state of mind, a total loss of confidence between people and what they can do for each other as a group or society.So, unfortunately, youre right to be worrying about what can be perceived on your resume. Im unemployed myself and cant figure out how to saddle up again. I considered taking a one-way ticket just like you. I feel competent in many fields, and Im an interview-killer just as Im sure you are. But I cant regain the confidence that went away with all thats happened for years now, and Im scared to death.I taught myself how to read at the age of four with those old cassettes-bookcases. I was immediately labeled as "genius" and put up to every podium adults could find to congratulate themselves having such a brilliant son/pupil/whatev.The expectations were sky-high on me.In my teen years, I started a short (but quite succesful) career in amateur skateboarding, which was to me a liberation, but to people watching over me way below what they thought my potential was. I dropped because all that I was heading to was a job in this industry and I already figured out that the business was as tough as anywhere else, people using people using other people...Then I figured I had to get a "real" job, so I got to work in the web and gaming industry at 20, dropping my studies, because I knew I was able and I liked the idea to produce stuff that made people go "Dya see dat?" and succeeded for some years.Until it started to get at me, like bad. I just had the revelation that what I liked doing for a living was bad for me, because of the environment that went with it.Im 34 now, just started recovering from a suicide attempt, started treatment this morning and realized I have no idea who I am or what Im gonna be for the rest of my life.I found that perfect quote once by Thelonious Monk:>"The genius is the one best at being himself."I hate to say it, because its terribly obvious and I still have a Tired difficult time believing it myself, but just maybe, the way is finding out what you are, and just fucking be the best at it. And if the environment youre in starts getting at you, thats because youre not fit to it, and thats not a bad thing, because it does not mean you are sane if you fit in an environment that isnt.Now, I understand your present situation may not encourage you to move on, the direction youre heading to is what matters most, not the place you are.As you can see, I do too feel the need to talk because of recent events and dont want to take too much room, this discussion is about you, but I feel you and I are not so different at finding our way in this fucked-up and twisted society of ours.But buddy, there will always be people like us, the danger is thinking were alone. Were not. Were just appart.Were in the right place. Talking.I find your writing excellent and spirited, consider that for a sec.Just keep rolling. Oh, and be sure to check out a Rodney Mullen interview, this dude is the Dala\xc3\xaf-Lama on a skateboard.', 'For now, I feel like Im barely standing on this first step.Thanks for your support. Hope well chat again, and wish you success on this long road.', 'Thanks for the meditation thingy, Ill give it a try.As I wrote, I dont blame her for preserving herself, shes been through as much as anyone, regarding death and illness.Shes reachable but things were said that we cant take back. She willingly broke the line so I cant get hold onto her. I guess shes right in a certain way.I wont try anything before I feel real changes in me. I gotta get myself up again, but even if I succeed Im afraid to face all the good things that could have happened to me before that I just fucked up because of, sorry for that, what I cant resign myself to call *illness*.', 'I always tried hard to "man the fuck up" myself, I always end up alone in Fear and anxiety.', 'Ive been Depression on and off for years, now. Untreated. Too proud.I feel that all my choices in life are based on something that Im not. I now believe that it is the true cause of my depression.Im over 30, had big expectations put on me Tired early, and failed at building a career or personal life.Failure. Again, and again.Cant tell all this to anyone I know because, well, having lived with it for so long, I learned to hide it and Im still this smart-funny-pleasant dude, and Im scared to show my true self, not being taken seriously.The last failure was a personal one, the girl I lived with for months and truly believe is the one, because she was able to *SEE* me. She left a month ago, right after what she saw was how Anxiety I could get.I cant blame her for not being by my side in this, she has her own problems and felt unsecure around me.After losing her, I felt like nothing could ever be right again, so *I crossed the bridge*. I blacked out from the pills and alcool, but woke up, so I tried to go get some more, the rest is fuzzy. I got help from my family, somehow.I still feel the same, I hope therapy and treatment will help.Hope is all Ive left, but sometimes I wish I had none, so I could be relieved.', 'Acceptance / Rejection', 'I cant remember well writing this, because I had already started popping BZDZPM down with booze at the time.Curiously enough, writing something here was to me the most appropriate way to express what I felt, although I practicly never do.I woke up few hours later. Time had gone, disappeared to be precise.The pills were all gone, too. I stood with some effort to go get some more.I finally got to reason to get help. Its going to be a long road.Im writing this because for the few people that took a moment of their attention to focus on my distress.It made me realize I lack the ability to express my inner pain, and it could have come to something that should not have happened.I had never in my wholelife considered something that extreme before.I feel failure so deep in my life that it seems I cant even end it properly.Thank you all again.', 'Do you feel you are meant for greatness?That your Weakness of hand are made to produce something really valuable?(Not in a "pickin gold from the street" Tony Montanas way, naturally)', 'I dont know if my problem is the result of my situation or the opposite.Im Depression because I failed at everything because Im Depression because, etc...'] | Attempt | 237 |
user-117 | ['Im sorry that was the reason you had to move. Does your boyfriend know how youve been feeling?', 'Anytime! Pm me if you need anything else', 'Its awesome! Definitely worth buying a popcorn as well. Basically its giant robots fighting. Pretty cool huh?', 'Everythings solvable my friend. Dont give up on yourself because you feel like no one wants you. Do you have a friend you can talk to?', 'Thank God. Im glad to hear there is some justice in this world. Youre a smart women, and brave, most people wouldnt have the guts to do that. Im proud to call you a fellow human. Have you started talking to lawyers about getting sole custody? ', 'Hey man, whats up? :) Im here for you!', 'First of all stop blaming yourself. You were involved in your moms accident, however you are not at fault for it. Trust me Penguingoum. Secondly what do you mean you dont live the way people around you do?', 'Theyre coming out with new medication all the time. Youll find something that works faster and more efficiently. Its only a matter of time.', 'First of all, yes you should respect your parents and listen to them, so kudos to you for doing that, it shows a sign of a stand up guy; HOWEVER, this is a lot more serious than they think, Depression is a Tired real thing. To be honest I would advise you to go to the doctor with or without their permission. Just tell them "I respect you and I understand that you dont want me to go, but I still feel the need to, so Im going" If you feel comfortable with it, tell them about having Suicidal thoughts. Just make it short and to the point. Its worth the money you would have to pay. Secondly, listen bro (or broette) assuming your a bro here though..We all make mistakes, we all are stupid when were young, but the great thing is that we can always change. You can always make a future for yourself, sure itll take some hard work and dedication, I know you can do it though, you seem extremely determined :)', 'I wouldnt have been able to go to college and make new friends!', 'Hey whats up? It doesnt sound whiny to me, I absolutely know that feeling. I would love to talk with you more.', 'So whats stopping you from going out and being part of the world again? Do you just not feel the desire to?', 'While suicide may seem like a logical choice, it is never an intelligent move.', 'Well Ive gone through some horrible things in my life too, different things, but in some regards just as horrible. And its taken a while, but right now I am in a better place. I really dont believe that its bullshit, I just think thats how life works.', 'Why dont you go out and do something? Have you tried picking up a sport? Or maybe taking an online class? just because youre unemployed doesnt mean you cant be amazing. Sometimes once you start something, even if you have to force yourself to, you find the will to do it.', 'First off? Get in contact with her, no matter how you do it. Then talk to her, be honest, tell her that youre scared shes going to Pain herself and that you dont want that to happen. Secondly, go visit her. Will it cost money and be inconvenient? Yes. Will it show her that you love her enough to go out there? Definitely yes. Third, if she tries to commit suicide, or you think there is a extremely likely chance that she is going to commit suicide, you should call the police. She may be upset at you for doing this, but it could save her life. I would also advise talking to her parents, suicide is not something to be taken lightly.Also check out /rSWResources.Good luck, if you have any questions, dont hesitate to ask.', 'It sounds to me like a pretty normal relationship. Everyone has ups and downs, and everyone has baggage. As long as his supporting you, or in the Tired least trying to support you then his a positive influence in your life.', 'Have you seen Pacific Rim yet? Its quite good. :)', 'No dont worry about it! Im sorry that thing seem to be so eh. Is it possible for you to get a new book? That seems kindva silly of your parents to take away something that you use as a tool to make yourself less Stress out. What is your hardest final going to be?', 'Yes I can confirm SUICIDE IS DUMB. Trust me Im a living breathing human being. And Im thankful for each second Im alive.Edit: Additional sentence added.', 'How old are your kids?edit: spelling', 'First of all get a restraining order. I would also advise reporting the incident of rape to the police. To be honest the police probably will be unable to find evidence against him, but its worth a try. Also getting a restraining order from this freak will keep you and your child safe. I really hope you dont choose to abort him or her. Adoption is always a better option. Im here for you.', 'Before you try that, would you mind talking with me? I would love to know whats going on in your life right now.', 'Hey anytime man! Im here for you :)', 'Well whats bothering you the most?', 'Well first of all go to r/SWResources. Secondly you need to, need to talk to him about this NOW. Like literally right this minute. right now. Preferably in person. You never know where someone is emotionally or mentally. Showing you care could save his life.', 'I know that feel :/ How long ago did you guys break up?', 'How about you just put the gun down and go to sleep? Tomorrow is a completely new day.', 'Im sorry you feel this way :( I can talk with you for a while if you would like :)', 'I understand where youre coming from, and its not easy. Have the suggest alternative methods to handle your Depression?', 'High school can be really confusing sometimes :/ I would encourage you to talk to your teachers. More likely than not, they will tell you what they expect when it comes to finals. I also would encourage you to work out. Working out has been shown to have a lot of positive mental effects. You said you hide your feelings, do you have someone to talk to about them, besides writing them down?', 'Agreed. To be honest a lot of people who say theyre going to kill themselves if you break up with them, are obviously trying to manipulate you. ', 'Wow yeah that is a sticky situation youre in, especially because you dont know where she lives. If you find out where she lives and you really think she is a about to commit suicide, then dial 911, if the operator picks up for your area (which will happen) then ask them and explain your situation. They probably can connect you to the right station up in Canada. (Canada emergency phone number is 911 just like us) When you get in contact with I would encourage you to find out where she lives, maybe ask her if you can send her a care package. (that way you have her address.) In regards to actually talking to her, Im glad you said youre always honest, just try to be positive AND realistic. Stress to her how important she is to you.', 'I can only imagine what that must be like. Have your family and friends tried to talk to you? What do you do in your free time? I hope youve talked to a doctor, if not its extremely important that you do.', 'Well modern medicine is amazing, who knows what the next ten years will bring? I personally am glad for each breath I take, and I believe your child would feel the same. I understand where youre coming from when you mentioned pro-choice, and youre right in the end it is completely up to you. I can only imagine how mentally distraught you must be. I dont know how you feel, because I have never been in your situation.', 'Woah hold up..why are you not allowed to go to the doctor? If you think you have Depression, then you should DEFINITELY go. What do you mean exactly when you say a failure in everything? ', 'Youll be in my prayers, I really hope things get better. If you need someone talk Im here for you :)', 'I wish you the best of luck! :)', 'Youre gonna get there.. just be patient. I know that may not be what you wanna hear, that you should wait, but sometimes thats what we have to and should do.', 'First off the biggest thing you need to do is to talk to him about this, confront him and have an honest one on one, or family on one talk. Secondly you should convince him to seek professional help, it will help him in the long run. You should talk to him ASAP. If he tries to commit suicide, or you think he is literally about to you should call 911. Also check out our subreddit, /r/SWResources. Good luck mate, bless ya.', 'Maybe his just "seeing girls" to get over you? You shouldnt feel inadequate though. If he broke up with you then its his loss! You seem like a great gal, it sucks that someone would be stupid enough to break up with you. Listen it doesnt matter how pretty or intelligent or mature, or perfect someone is, if someone gets in a relationship, then they run the risk of having their heart broken. Its part of what makes having one so exciting. I know that it must feel horrible to see him seeing other girls already, like I said though, most likely he could be using those girls as a rebound because he wants to get you off his mind. Just take the highroad, dont be discouraged by a single failure. Theyre so many people looking for a good relationship, youre going to find the right person :)', 'Im here, wanna talk? :)', 'Hey Penguingoum! Im here for you and Ill try my best to help you. :) I know you dont want to hear this, but you NEED to get professional help. Having Suicidal thoughts is not something you can just ignore, you need to deal with it, its important for your safety. Do any of your friends know?', 'While losing you job is a set back, dont you think its worth it in order to get yourself back under control?', 'Well first of all, you need to talk to your doctor ASAP. Even if you have physically go to him. Please dont give up, just because of some confusion. Yes the medicine may take a while to kick in, but its worth waiting for, trust me. Lifes far too amazing and full of surprises to quit. :)', 'Hey man, Im here too!', 'Well Im here for you, if you wanna talk :) Ill be honest it sounds like youre life is hard, no denying it. But youre legitly trying to prove yourself, thats alot more than most people in your position can say. Kudos to you man, your a fucking champion.', 'Stay Awesome man :)', 'Im really sorry to hear that. How long ago did that happen?', 'Hey whats up mate? Wanna Chill with me for a while? Im here for ya :)', 'Im sorry life feels so meaningless. It may sound silly but trust me that there is more to life then what you are living right now. You have to find what makes you happy, what fulfills you. You went on a date with a girl and she seemed nice? Fuck man! Chase after her! Show her you care, whats the worst that could happen? Do you exercise at all? If you dont run, ride a bicycle to work, start taking a martial arts!! I am not a licensed doctor, but I honestly believe that by become active and venturing out of this hole of Depression youre in, you will find happiness. Life is what you make of it man, I learn that everyday over and over again. Tomorrow I am required to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I could sit at home and play halo all day. Fuck that man. Im getting up at 9:30 Im gonna go work out at the gym, after that Im going to volunteer for a few hours and help some people out, then Im gonna take one of my friends, and show him literally the greatest boot repair shop in the world. So yeah I could do nothing with my life tomorrow, but I choose to do something, its what keeps me alive and it keeps my blood flowing. Thats what you gotta do. Does applying for job thats probably gonna be boring absolutely suck? Yeah it does. But itll get you money, which you can save up, and maybe go travel to somewhere awesome. Listen man this world is so much bigger and more important than for you to be caught up in a drunken weed filled stupor of despair! I really believe in you. You have the potential to not live your life in a never ending circle, and to make something of yourself.TLDR: Plain and simple the point of life is to make something out of yourself and prove to the world who you are.', 'Ah I totally gotch you. Im in college and just had my first English final, those things can be pains. :/ So if you dont have a job what do you do in your free time? At lot of times exercise can improve someones move drastically!', 'Have you tried cycling? Go on to craigslist.com, you can find a decent bike for around 150 dollars. Not only does it give you exercise, but you can also go further then you could by walking. Why did you move to the suburbs, if you dont mind me asking?Edit: Punctuation', 'Wow thats some deep thoughts my friend. If you dont mind my asking what made you think life is torture?', 'Well if you can see that your boyfriend has no positive benefit, then why is he in your life? By the way I think its a good idea to let your boyfriend know about what youre dealing with, maybe he can pay for you to have a therapist?', 'Im here too man.', 'Sitting here arguing and begging you wont achieve anything. I urge you however to reconsider what you are thinking about doing. I and all the people here care about you. In the end none of us can stop you, I do know for a fact that while this life may seem horrible at times, killing yourself to run away from your problems is never the right option.', 'Im sorry about the delay. I totally know what you mean. I found that the more relationships that Im in the harder it is to connect with people. :/', 'Hey wanna talk with me for a while? Im here for you :)', 'Hey man wanna talk? Im here for you :)', 'Heres on reason why: Everyone has something to live for, whether its simply just to smile at someone else and make their day, or give a homeless man money. Live not for yourself my friend, but keeping living for the others that you can help. If you wanna talk Im here. Or if you need more reasons. :)', 'Not at all. Sleep well my friend :)', 'To be honest having and feeling Pain in life comes with having joy and happiness in life. I wont lie, I do agree with you, some Pain never goes away COMPLETELY, one of my best friends died when he was 9 and I was 13, I still think about it today, and it still hurts, but not as much as it did 5 years ago. The reason why I keep going on is because I believe that life is worth living simply because you never know whats going to happen tomorrow. I keep living for the Excitement that tomorrow I might meet my soul mate, tomorrow I might make save someones life, tomorrow I might get a raise, tomorrow I might win a trip to Hawaii, tomorrow I might get a bunch of karma on Reddit. So thats why I keep living because while life has ups and downs, seeing which comes next, keeps me on my toes. In regard to your final comment I believe that we dont want those who have Emotional upset Pain to end their life, is because we all have Emotional upset Pain, and we realize that you can overcome it, if you have hope and patience.', 'Dude losing 40 pounds is an amazing achievement. It takes hard work and a strong work ethic to do. You cant just go out there and lose 40 pounds. You should be seriously proud of yourself. ', 'Hey Im here to talk with you Cool Koala 53 :) If youre having Suicidal thoughts, you need to visit a doctor and get professional help as soon as possible. I can talk to you and sort some things out, but I am in no way a professional. So whats going on exactly that has you so down?', 'No worries mate! Anytime you need to hear it just post here and someone, will remind you. :)', 'Hey whats up man?If you need someone to talk to Im here', 'Well Im here to talk if you would like. Whats up?', 'Wow that must be hard :/ For me the two Asthenia mark is where things usually started to get easier for me. (But Im a guy so it may be different) I would encourage you to try to keep yourself occupied. The busier you are, the less time you have to think about him. '] | Ideation | 117 |
user-42 | ['You should walk in, put the phone/computer away and do it. Yes, Im afraid because as I said, whenever I try it just ends up as pointlessness. Im afraid to try anything, Im afraid to go through with anything, for Fear that it wont accomplish anything, and that if it does, the person that sees it, hears it, judges it; Whatever, will laugh or dismiss it for someone elses work thats better as per previous recurrences of such a thing. Or theyll patronize me and act like its really good, but just not good enough.', 'I cant help you, Im sorry, I feel hopeless. Its nice that you can relate though. Im such a screw up. Everything I know, everyone I know, they just do so much better than me. No one ever gets disappointed with them, but me, Im a horrid failure. I feel like Im always looked down upon no matter what I do, theres always something wrong with what Ive done compared to others. I want help, Ive been searching for help. Just dont know what to do. '] | Ideation | 42 |
user-220 | ['true, I based my conclusion on bad stories really, Ive heard some good but they seem to be a minority who most of the times have an unusual condition. and like you said, most people who are on medication dont recommend them to others. Ive heard your story a few times.Ive never heard of Hypothyroidism tho, I will digg into that, but i doubt it is what I have. 5 years ago I was in the same place as now, but in a less degree. I did a lot of research and rebuild my mind from the ground up. clean slate and trying to be positive again.school, it worked out 2 years ago my life was going up, had a nice job a nice home, and i could go on vacation without to worry about anything really, then the crisis came, and took everything Ive build in 4 months, lost everything. Im now back living with my mom because its almost impossible to hold a job longer then 3 weeks. the market is just screwed up. from then I slowly got back in this dark place. Ive tried. believe me I tried. I just watched everything i worked so hard for die out. I tried even harder then before to regain it. but no success. all the doors are closed for me now. The only thing i can do is go back to school and start a new career in a different sector. getting a bigger debt and wasting 4 years of my life again. But I feel its just the government and stuff playing games with us. I dont want to be a pawn in their schemes. aandd now im here.. ', 'Thnx, I will! :D', 'yep, The doctor gave me some reassurance that its only for the first 2 weeks, and you have to push through it if you feel a lot of side effects.Im on my second day, i havent noticed much yet. just a floating feeling and strangly last night my shin Pain when i went to sleep . today Ive read it is also a side effect.. So many side effects. But indeed, im also wondering what it will do with you personality.. If it helps I can share my experience with you these 2 weeks, than I have another appointment with my doctor. to see if Its working or not. Im still kinda skeptical, but im willing to try it for these 2 weeks.', 'This hurts reading bro, like a shadow searching for light, but the light wont accept any shadow. Stupid metaphor but I had the same thing with my closest friends, I even told them In tears, you guys are right, everything will be fine, with a smile. While dieing inside.. After that I never or hardly let anyone know how I really feel.. I wish we could get together and just show each other what potential and beautifull people we are. ', 'Thnx for your reply! just what i was looking for :) Its the same as prozac ive been told. I feel the same way as you so thanks, that is reassuring. the Depression is priority to get rid of, so im willing to go through the first 2 weeks. :) im already looking forward to it. I have another question if you dont mind; how did the first weeks influence your work and social friends? should I just stay low profile for 2 weeks or didnt it had a big influence in your daily life?', 'Hey, Im kinda in the same spot, some days its better, some are worse. You can talk to me anytime, maybe we can ease each other Pain :)', 'ah dude, lets try this out first, Ive started the same way, I was fed up with the redundant music on the radio and t.v. and tried to make my own, something new and fresh, that was about 10 years ago, when i was round 16is, always been a hobby, every minute of free time I had went in music or dancing, The best outlet there is, Not exactly knowing what your doing, but the little things you know get you there. now I have a budget studio, and pirate software:P but heck I can do what i love, and if i use it for commercial purpose, I will by the stuff i used, to support the creators for giving me the tools to express my feelings. Ive experimented with all kinds of styles, I started with trance, (easy to start with) then house,hip hop, jazz, everything i could get my Weakness of hand on, even tried, (still am) playing the guitar/drums/bass. I already am decent on a keyboard, and i write my songs also.Everything is self taught also, so i think we can learn a lot from each other, now i make more ambient/hiphop stuff, or just crazy ish https://soundcloud.com/shifait-kuyperCheck it out, and you will see that the lazy and Numbness in it, i just cant get myself just to really finish the projects, or just give it its full potential. I just go with the middle and be satisfied.Still i feel like we can help each other in that at least, I know the i feel you bro, wont help a lot, but try it out, maybe we can make the cup half full instead of half emty ;)', 'Thnx for the boost. But honestly, I feel the same way, all the hard work and hours feel more useless, that drains my hard work ethics and motivations.. Lets make this deal. Lets make sure we both make it. By sharing a track ones a Asthenia you made in that Asthenia, or something like that, that way we can give each other tips or just share an eargasm moment. Anyway let me know what you think about that.. ', 'Ive just posted also. But your feeling is what bothers me a lot, I have the same of similar feeling.. That alone feeling. Knowing they wont understand anyway, and if you try they act like they have to comfort you, when only all I want is an honest opinion, or just the sparkle in your eye that you seem to connect with the situation Im in. And that makes me feel so spoiled. What makes it worse. Because Im not someone who easily opens up or ask for help. And then to still be helpless. Is such a downer emotion.. I dont have any solutions, but you arent alone. I know a lot of people are going through this, but still it feels so lonely. ', 'Dreams take a lot of effort to realize, but there a lot of types of work ethics and goals, becoase we all want something else in life. The thing is we like to judge others by our own efforts, for me thats the problem, just live how you want to live, heck if you want to live on the streets go ahead, I wont look down on you thinking Im so much better only becoase Im following orders. Only the beholder knows what his/her dreams goals are, and if they reached it and are enjoying life same respect. We all die the way we were born anyway.. ', 'I have a shitty health care so it would cost me a shitload. And honestly I dont see how someone who listens can help me. But to be fair Ive tried it twice and im really stubborn. I you cant prove me wrong or come up with a better solution. Ive lost my interest and go back to my own drawing board. I have a small background in psychology and philosophy and history(and that screwed me up the most how we treat people that offer us the road to happiness) Michael Jackson my biggest and first inspiration in life. And look how the world repays him. He was the first one that made me hate the world. I did explore my Pain and issues, but they are external. And I tried to ignore/twist them, but its just adding fuel to the fire. And I dont want to use any medication, im not that kind of guy that wants to manipulate my body to block certain feelings. I have to deal with it. but sadly Ive come to this conclusion. Its just that I feel like a mental slave that lost his connection to live the same dreams and goals of this world. But the real world is too dark for me.Or Ive learned the hard way how fragile and Asthenia I actually am. ', 'You can pm anytime', ':) I appreciate it but my mind is too far gone. I guess this is the wrong place to ask to help me for the tools to do it myself lol. But you guys are awesome! sad that in real life its the opposite.', 'https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4uiNadzcME&list=UUPdp_RAwS93XCBeAnSTLq7gthis guy makes it all worthwhile! i\xc2\xb4m sure you\xc2\xb4ll like his work', 'twice but it didnt lead to anything. ', 'Thanks for your reply, I feel like Ive wasted a lot of time twisting on this with all your positive replies :D , The trade of is more than worth it in my opinion hearing your opinions dealing with them. Thanks for the reassurance:) ', 'Im 27 , black, depressed/recovering(most of my life) Been in denial till 16, rebelled till 23, 23/now Ive been studying and trying to find the truth behind all the emotions, and trying to place my own hate/grief in a place where i can use it as a learning tool, then a tool of anger. Having said that my opinion is that as human beings we have to reflect on our history and put in a balanced context. But as black people, we have to find a way to deal with the negative self reflections.almost by nature we grow up hiding our bad sides and walking on eggshells, while trying to fit in with 200% effort. Its still a long way, but weve come a long way also, History/culture books from African scholars, and traveling slowly made me think from a human perspective again. The world is a big place, with a lot of people. Propaganda does a lot of damage, but face to face we still see each other as humans most of the times. And also the (deep)close minded ones are on the verge of extinction.(thats why they bark so hard) The WW-Web broke so many barriers and were still seeing the results of it on a daily basis. As advice, I can only say that there are also a lot of good sides of being black, and a lot of brothers before us reached a lot that makes me proud to be black.(Michael Jackson is my role-model, music wise and as a person, making something positive out of negativity) We are masters of adaptation without losing yourself. Mold yourself in who you want to be.Be safe, you have seen the sun set, now see it rise http://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/2g00aw/the_best_university_history_courses_you_can_take/ Free history courses, ', 'Thanks for your reply, True and I agree, its not that it will change your life on itself, but the boost is all i really need, and hearing that it does just that makes me happy that ive already started it. But Im not in therapy in the way of a psychiatrist or psychologist. (Im really stubborn and slowly starting to try other options) do you recommend professional counseling while on the meds? I do have close friends with who I can really open up to, but its me all the way that has to work through it.', 'Thanks for your reply and wow! they do sound like wonder pills reading your story XD, Im happy for you that they worked so good! I hope im next :D . Youve named all the tools I need to pick up my old self again and living my dreams again. I have another question if you dont mind; How did the side effects influence your first 2 weeks? with work and social aspects in your daily life? Im curious what is the best approach to it.', 'Im sorry I was not clear. Its not a medical condition. its a mental condition I have for over 10 years. Living in my own delusion of hope and dreams. Ive stopped doing that and became more like a realist. And that made it all worse. But Its was my own choice to know the truth then live a lie. Now that I know I feel like there is nothing more to prove.Im sorry to hear that. My condolence and I wish you all the strength and positive energy. You and your son dont deserve it. I cant imagine how hard it must be on you to carry it all on your shoulders with a smile. In my situation its only my mom. I love her so much that the only reason I went on for so long is for her. She often told me that Im the reason she sticks her neck out for us. I dont want her to think its her fault. She did everything she could, and I wouldnt change her for anything. For the rest I couldnt care less. People in general are selfish scum and this world wont change for the better. Thats how I really feel. People dont seem to really care/change the way I do. My story in short is. Ive tried to share my knowledge, time, money and energy without wanting anything for it in return. To make this world a better place. But Ive learned that human nature cant be changed and that the world is like this for a reason. What people give you in return is crap and delusions. So I have nothing left to do here. I hate the state were in. Everything is going for the worse. And Im Illness of heaving to go along with it. Like playing chess with cheaters. Whats the point. Ive worked in a hospital and for a while I had to clean the rooms of terminal ill people who had radiation treatment. And honestly with her body so weak. I saw a person shining bright with life. I wish I could traded my life for hers. When I walked out of the room I felt real bad how unfair it all is. I went there every time I could and talked to her trying to light her mood.Wow I didnt wanted to talk this much but just make it a little more clear.I am just done. Fed up and have no motivation for anything anymore. Im selling all my stuff and making sure I dont leave things unsettled. The only thing is I cant find any information how to create your own lethal cocktail. I dont just want to off myself in a horror situation. I want to make it seem I had a heart attack or something like that. just for my mom so she can live her own life instead of worrying about me. She deserves better than a train wreck for a son.', 'The brain can be our greatest help, or our greatest enemy. I have my own experience with thoughts that dont seem yourself. Trying to talk and finding reason behind them helped me a lot to calm myself a bit better. if you want to talk you can pm me :)', 'Thank you for your reply, you have answered a question I also had. I make music, dance, etc. I mean my creativity is a big part of who I am. But like I said youve answered it already. My priority lies in changing my life/thoughts to positive instead of negative. It also shows in my music/creativity(mostly dark and mysterious). while im a/I was always smiling positive kinda dude. I have an appointment with my doctor in 2 weeks, Ill make sure ill tell him how my experience was. So that we can pinpoint the right dosis sort of speak. But all of your feedback is helping a lot. I already feel more positive and like there is a goal to reach or a way to end the circle. :) feels really good:D thnx.', 'I help myself, by helping others, so i know im not useless, and that we all have our ordeals, but our mentality makes how we react to it, ', 'knowledge was all I was ever interested in. A proper understanding. And I feel I got what I wished for. The truth is stranger/darker then fiction. Ive gained all these beautiful gems. But a sheep doesnt know what to do with a gem.. So yeah nothing more to see here. so Im trying to move along.', 'Hey, you can talk to me, or we can play dark souls if you re on pc. There is always a sunbro to help :) ', 'I know exactly what you mean! it was walking with the same thing for a half year now, my mom works in a hospital, and she had her own share of Depression but never tried any medication. So I feel you bro, for me it was just the last straw, and with the positive power I had left I just went for it. My mom is still skeptical, but she agreed that if the doctor thinks its for the best. at least I have to try. I just want a change for the better. But i will keep you updated on my situation. I just hope more people will share their stories also. ', 'thanks, It made me really think. I have a lot of those symptoms, and I recognize that being aware of those things is better than suppressing them. Lot of suppressed rage, and Sharp Pain to walk away. Not really understanding why. I made the first step anyway with the meds, so why not give it all a chance. Thanks ', 'True, but I have trust issues and because of that I feel like the only one I can/have leaned on is myself. And its that the beauty can be destroyed much faster than it takes to build it up. In a context. Im just Tired making a sandcastle only for it to be washed away to start all over again. I understand that every time I rebuild I can create something better then before. But my focus has been absorbed by the sea. Why its behaves this way. The sea is in that context the human nature. I dont want you guys to worry about me. And to be fair, the information Im looking for is harder to obtain than I thought. If I had a shitload of sleeping pills at this moment I still wouldnt hesitate to use them. Im set on that this is my best solution. Tho it feels good to let my thoughts out. Even tho you guys know more about my situation than most of the people that know me for almost my whole life. And you guys do a good job trying to talk me out of it. If I was in doubt I wouldve question it. Maybe I shouldve tried this sooner. But Im determent. Im Numbness beyond the point of caring. Im a emotionless zombie. Being a waste of space and money. Ive already started selling my stuff and I really dont feel anything with it. A milestone in my life was having my own budget music studio. The most energy I put into anything. And for a time my music was my outlet. Now I already sold my precious mic. And I didnt even feel any remorse. Im fully aware that my mind has already fully given up. And Im a realist. I have no more fight in me to try.. Im really sorry, I want to give you a happy ending. But all I can say is I will be in peace. I just want to do it in an sophisticated way. before it gets worse and I try to end it in a painful/stupid way. Also kinda foolish, I guess I dont want to come over as an act of desperation. But that is also fooling myself.Anyway I appreciate you guys really. It isnt fair of me to ask people of helping me kill myself. ', 'You can pm me anytime :)', 'Thank you! I will take your tips to heart, and I already feel more confident that it has something worthwhile the whole side effects. Thanks for your opinion, i will continue my daily life, I dont have a lot of interactions on social basis, so im sure that ill manage then :D, thanks again for the reply, Its reassuring that it can help me come over my Depression.', 'You want to share your knowledge with me then? Crappy producer here, can use all the help I can get. :) ', '"Maybe people living life differently are actually living it the way they want free from the burdens of society and are truly happy - maybe I should see that as their success because they got what they wanted afterall."Exactly where i was trying to go, some (ignorence plays a big part) are happy the way there life is, more of the foundation and the daily routine, if its going well, why look at the bad, and even why bother, Thats why people that are in Pain or Pain rather try to fix it themselves , then listen to someone who cant understand you, and thinks there education can fix things. And ive noticed that most times, its just about venting with someone, who honestly will listen, and understand your position. instead of the feeling like you are wasting someones time and killing their vibe with your negativity.But to be honest, I can hardly believe that you rather do nothing, than the things you like and love, even reddit brings a smile on my face every morning before Ive even seem anyone. It helps set the mood in the morning. The exceptions you are talking about, care to share your personal goals, or likes? expectations are always a big deal to us personal, even if its something little like saying I love you everyday, And as long as youre breathing, your still working with your expectations, even if it will take you another 10 years, who cares, as long as you can smile at the end, knowing you reached the things you liked to try and see in life.And try to look more at the little things, you say nothingness, but everything we do is something, a lot of small things can pile up to something big.Just sharing my experience,', ':) stay strong. And Im here if you need an ear to talk to ', 'That helped me a lot! im sure it will do the same to you, you also have a month, just take your time, if it works after two weeks ill make sure to let you know ;)', 'I have the same, but Ive changed the way I give advise, half of them slowly stopped asking me for advise, but the change is important. Usually they ask me something Ive felt myself before or went trough something similar, so now I tell them honestly, the + sides and the -, the way how I feel them, those who are genuine and can look inside them self, open up more, and the bound is much closer. Now we just philosophise more about our limits and downers, in a self sufficient way, then how we should behave in the eyes of others. Or in dealing with it. Ive noticed that the once who slowly left, are the ones who are trying to force there way out. Now I have a more win win situation, and it feels more genuine.. Just sharing, I didnt really realized it before I read your post. ', 'Same, its more now like how long will I keep this up. If youre forcing yourself to live, it isnt fun anymore... ', 'he tried, but didnt want to use them. Im kinda anti drug use. but as I said stubborn and try to do everything myself and with willpower.. well I use to have a lot of that. did you tried some meds? my mom had some once the downers things that block emotions. when i saw here like that I didnt told myself that isnt the answer', 'Nah, love you guys, been reading a lot of post after venting with this one, it really helps a lot. You guys are life savers. Now that I know where I can share these feelings, or if I need prove that we share the same feelings, and we are in this together, we all are strangers, yet feel so connected to each other.. That made the smile of the day for me. And some fuel to keep on moving. Thnx for the reply :) I wish you the best of luck and love and hope I could make you smile as I did :) and I will keep that offer:), gives a nice feeling knowing I have a place to vent/express. Knowing we understand each other here. ', 'I have the same. Its gone to a point where I dont even bother anymore. Ive Isolated myself mostly out of protection. It sucks but I dont see a solution or a middle way to go out everyday living a lie with a fake smile. and I cant stand it longer than a hour or so, then my natural balancing system comes up, and try to neutralize the conversation. like a but in this case its not the same. and then I realize ah I made a unpopular comment. and just shut up and wait for a good time to bail. Now I havent been to a birthday or a party of a friend for over a year. people seem to stop asking, and Im actually happy with that. Real awkward and strange state to be in.. Not wanting to be antisocial. But cant deal with people at this time.', 'True! Poetry for the soul. And I am actually now at the moment. You guys man. :) ', 'Thanks for your reply, :D lol I have the kind of body build that just cant gain any weight. I already eat for 2 people so that wont be any problem in my situation :D, Im/was also Tired active, training a lot, being creative, it was my biggest outlet dealing with my Depression. But it even took that over. My body now just moves without any real feelings. Thats why I really started the meds. Im already at the point of losing myself . But wow how can one post change your day! in the morning hearing my mom on the phone telling me its not a good med. to hearing so many positive reactions that really made me look forward to it. And not like its a placebo treatment with only side effects. Thanks again. 3 years is a Tired long time tho, is it a high dosis that you have to use? and can you see yourself again without using any meds? sorry for the rude questions but I agree that the tradeoff is worthwhile. and hearing that the workouts give you such a boost(which is awesome! keep it up) that you already made the goal for yourself to get off the meds eventually:D . just wondering if time can really heal someone out of his Depression, while on meds. Or that it can be a lifetime med that we have to use..', 'Nice one. Ive been playing dark souls. And you reminded me of a sunbro mate of mine who used to help me.', 'True, and she is aware of my condition. She is just helpless and has to watch how every time I get up I fall further down. She has a harder time with it then me. We have a good relationship and spoke about it for a year. But Ive reached a point that Im unreachable. She doesnt know how to react, and I dont have the strength anymore to keep a facade up. She is my world, and I know Im hers, it just Pain so much not being able to give some of it back that she has offered me. She offered me life and I cant even hold that together. I cant even offer her my smile anymore.. I dont know how to coupe with this situation any longer. And I know that my death wont do her any good. I guess I kept that in mind to ease the Pain of leaving her behind all alone.', 'Im at a third of it right now reading :) interesting book, but I just wanted you to know that Ive put my head up yet again and, try to stay strong and will forward the favour on this tread as you helped me:) I will let you know my opinion of the book when im done :D but thanks for listening to me, I really appreciate it:)'] | Ideation | 220 |
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