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[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Wesley: "Angel's son is part of the prophecy." Linwood: "The Nyazian scrolls said the child would never be born!" Gavin: "Darla died during childbirth." Darla dusts herself. Holtz: "She sacrificed herself to save the child." Angel: "I'm his only family. My job now is to be everything for him." Gavin: "We have to get that baby." Gunn: "Boogie at the back door!" Wes: "Everyone and everything will be coming for him." Angel: "No one is gonna put their hands on this child." Cordy gets thrown into the weapons cabinet by a vision. Cordy: "These visions are killing me." Skip: "Humans are not strong enough to harbor the visions! Demons are the only ones who can withstand them." Cordy: "So - demonize me already." Cordy: "Right now we have to solve my vision. The one I'm having right now." Angel: "Cordy..." Cordy, floating a foot above the ground: "What?" Files and Records: "Holtz, Daniel, vampire killer, ca. Seventeen fifty four." Holtz shows Justine the obituary of her sister, Julia Cooper. Holtz: "Justine, I know what it's like to grieve. I want to help you." Justine: "I want you to stay the hell away from me." Justine fights the vampire in the cemetery and Holtz stakes it before it can bite her. Holtz: "I'm here to teach you how to fight." Justine: "What's in it for you?" Holtz: "You help me kill a vampire." Shot of Angel and the gang leaving the hospital with Connor in the stroller Gunn bought. Justine: "You don't need me for that." Holtz: "I do. This vampire is strong." Angel is counting loose change as he puts it into a piggybank. Angel: "Sixty, seventy, eighty. One, two, three." Cordy, holding Connor: "Angel..." Angel raises a hand to stop her as he picks up the piggy and locks it into the picture safe beside the desk. Fred looks up from her laptop. Fred: "How is the Connor fund?" Angel: "There was a dollar eighty three in the cushions out there. That's perfectly good money just lying around. (Closes the safe) Now, how's it going?" Fred: "Moments away." Angel looks over Fred's shoulder at the new website for Angel Investigations and points at the 'No Case Too Small' under the 'We Help The Helpless" part. Angel: "Ah. Can you make that bigger? Bold, but, you know, tasteful." Fred: "Hmm. Tasteful. Sure." Cordy to baby: "You are so cute! Yes, you are. You are just the best little boy in the whole world." Angel comes up behind her and smiles down at Connor over her shoulder. Angel: "How's my little man?" Cordy: "Oh, he wonders where his father's been." Angel: "Papa's got mouths to feed." Cordy: "Ah. I have a mouth, too. Always have had one. Kind of known for it and we've fed it fine for years. Yeah." Cordy puts Connor down in a baby carry-bed. Cordy: "Angel - I'm glad you wanna take care of your son. I am. I just wanna make sure we don't lose sight of the mission." Angel: "Well, we have to earn a living. I mean, not just for Connor, but for all of us." Cordy: "I agree. But first and foremost we work for the Powers, help the helpless. Promise me we won't neglect that." Angel: "I promise. (Sees Gunn coming in) I promise. (Turns to Gunn) Well?" Gunn: "Well, we hired some guys. Six thousand of these babies all over town." Gunn holds up a flyer with 'Angel Investigations' and their logo on it. 'We help the helpless. No case too small. Paranormal Specialists. 313-555-0126' Angel: "Nice! (To Cordy) I'd call me, wouldn't you?" Fred: "Hey! The website's up. We're live." Angel picks Connor up: "We're live, little guy. Come on." Angel walks over to the desk and turns the laptop so everyone can see the screen. Angel: "There, beautiful. We're online. We got flyers, we got yellow pages. Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to a new area of Angel Investigations. All we have to do now is wait - for that phone to start ringing and the money to start rolling in. (To Baby) Because someone's got to clothe and feed and educate this little guy, yeah? (Connor yawns) Yep - all we have to do is wait. - Just a matter of time. (Connor fusses) Don't you worry, this town is full of people who have problems." A man is running through the pouring rain. He looks back over his shoulder at some looming shadows following him on the wall of the alley behind him, and runs right into a pile of trashcans. As he picks himself back up, he sees one of Angel's new flyers. AI is still standing around the phone, waiting. The man, flyer in hand, runs over to a payphone, dials, listens to it ring. Man: "Come on, come on, come on!" Split screen - the phone at AI is *not* ringing. Triple split screen, a guy picks up the phone in what looks like a kitchen. Guy: "Fabrizio's Pizza." Fred picks up a flyer form the desk and takes a closer look at it. Fred: "Is this the right phone number?" Everyone turns to look at Wesley. Intro Hyperion, day, Wes walks in, carrying a stack of flyers. Wes: "That's the last of them. Six thousand new ones." Wes stops to see what has Gunn's attention so riveted. Fred is out in the lobby cuddling Connor. Wes: "Adorable." Gunn: "So sweet." Wes: "I meant the baby." Gunn: "I meant the hot mama." Gunn and Wes look at each other. Angel comes in. Wes: "Sorry about the mix up last night." Angel: "It's not important. But we can't afford any more mistakes. Making mistakes cost money, and making money right now is our number one priority. (Lorne comes down the stairs in a silk housecoat) Hey, Lorne." Lorne: "If this is about the baby formula that I snagged from the fridge last night - sorry. I was feeling a little peckish and it was that or a glass of pig's blood. By the way, baby formula and Kaluha? Not as bad as it sounds." Angel: "Lorne, I need you to use your contacts to find out what Holtz is up to. He's out there somewhere. We can never forget that. Finding him is our number one priority." Gunn: "I thought you said..." Angel: "Finding Holtz and making money are our two number one priorities." Cordy walks by behind him and clears her throat. Angel: "Helping the helpless, finding Holtz, and making money are out *three* number one priorities." Cordy: "Hey, look! We got some hits on our website." The phone on Cordy's desk rings and Wes picks it up. Wes: "Angel Investigations, may I help you?" The phone on the counter rings and Gunn picks it up. Gunn: "Angel Investigations, can I help you?" Yet a third phone rings somewhere. Angel, smiling: "We're in business!" Justine is sitting at a small table in Holtz lair with Holtz pacing behind her. Justine: "You should be thanking me." Holtz: "For disobeying an order?" Justine: "For dusting two vamps!" Holtz: "Two vampires from whom I had told you to walk away." Justine: "Guess I misunderstood." Holtz: "Which is why we're here." Justine: "And speaking of here, would a couple of light bulbs and indoor plumbing kill you?" Holtz: "We are here to determine whether or not - you - have the commitment necessary for the work at hand." Justine: "At hand? -That's a joke, right?" Holtz: "Why are you wasting my time?" Justine: "What do you want from me?" Holtz: "I just told you: commitment. Something you must now convince me you have." The camera pans down from Justine looking up at Holtz to reveal that her left hand is pinned to the desk with an awl. Holtz: "So I've explained why I'm doing this. Why are you?" Justine: "Let's just say, feeling something - is better than feeling nothing." Holtz: "Take it out any time you like. If you're still here when I return, we'll consider the next phase of our - partnership." Justine watches Holtz walk out and slide the grate shut behind him. The Hyperion lobby is full of people (not all of them human). Fred takes a clipboard from one of the non-humans. Angel, holding Connor, walks up beside her. Fred: "Welcome to Angel Investigations Mr. (looks at the clipboard) Blee - Lee - Shushngrung. Uhm, please have a seat and one of our associates will be right with you." Angel: "Hey, Lorne. Non-human on deck." Lorne: "Coming." Lorne is talking to three gray aliens, wearing long robes and silver facemasks in a language that seems to be mostly clicks, whirrs, and popping sounds. He leaves them to talk to Angel. Lorne: "Hey, the guys with the chrome faceplates, they're called Nahdrahs. I speak their lingo, sort of. If I understand them correctly they've got a job for our leader and a great deal of money." Angel: "Oh, let's not keep them waiting, huh?" Lorne: "Well, our leader in this instance being Wesley. They saw his web articles on DNA fusion comparisons in Tri-ped demon populations." Angel sees Wes coming out of the office with some other people and flags him. Angel: "Hey, Wes. Wes, talk to the Nahdrahs." Gunn comes up to Angel leading a young blonde. Gunn: "Hey, office free? It's kind of personal." Angel: "Yeah. Go. (To Connor) If this keeps up, little guy, we may have to incorporate, huh?" Cordy is sitting at the counter, phone in hand. Cordy: "We're getting stretched a little thin here, Angel." Angel: "Come on. Nonsense. We can handle it." Cordy: "Really? Well, then why don't you handle it by picking up lines two, three and four?" Angel shrugs and walks towards the phones. Angel: "Angel Investigations, your problems are our problems. - Okay. How urgent is it? Uh-huh. And what do you do for a living? That's a good company. You own it? Okay, hold on. (Puts down the receiver) Pen, paper, quick." Gunn is pouring some tea for the Blonde in the office. Ally: "I don't sleep. I'm afraid to go out or answer the phone." Gunn: "Yeah, I hate stalkers. Look, don't worry. We'll put a stop to it. (Hands her the tea) Have a seat." Ally: "Thank you." Gunn: "So, do you know who this guy is?" Ally: "Yeah, well, it's- it's Brian, my ex-boyfriend." Gunn: "Have you - been to the police?" Ally: "Yeah. They act like I'm some kind of nut. Just - like I'm making it all up." Gunn: "Yeah, you go to the cops for help they don't do a thing until somebody ends up dead." Ally: "Somebody *is* dead." Gunn: "Who?" Ally: "Brian. (Holds up the flyer) Isn't that the kind of stuff you guys deal with?" (The number at the bottom of the flyer now ends in 0162) Gunn: "Yeah. All the time. So - Brian, your dead boyfriend, is stalking you?" Ally: "Well, I mean, he's not my boyfriend *now.*" Wes is talking to the Nahdrahs with Lorne translating. Wes: "The Internet article I'm currently writing posits a formula for the genome mapping of creatures who don't have genes. - It's an exciting arena." Lorne: "One I'm sure we can all download at 'I'll never know the love of a woman dot com.' (Wes gives him a look) Ah, can we get down to business? They want to buy your head. - Little rusty with the language. I should probably clarify that." Lorne clicks away at the Nahdrahs. One of them holds up a metal suit case. Lorne: "They want your mind. They're celebrating their prince's, uh - it's - it's like a birthday, only they're not born so much as disgorged. They - they need you to solve one of their traditional puzzles so they can give it to him. It's quite an honor." Wes: "Could be interesting." Fred has come up and looks at the Nahdrah's robes. Fred: "Sure. These are puzzle people. Did you notice the designs on their tunics? (Traces the design) Geometric shapes. Each a prime number, if you count their edges, arranged in ascending order of exponential accumulation." Wes, smiling at her: "Yes, I did - not - notice that at all." Fred grins back at him, while the Nahdrahs start clicking away at Lorne. Lorne: "Ah, they wanna know why your girlfriend was pointing at them. I better tell them what she said before we have an international incident." Wes: "Ah, she's not my..." Lots of excited clicking going on by the Nahdrahs. Wes: "Silly." The Nahrdahs leave in a hurry. Fred: "Did I say something wrong?" Lorne: "No. No, they liked *you.*" Fred: "So much they ran away?" Lorne: "They either have to consult with their prince or go eat a cheese monkey. Did-did I mention rusty with the lingo?" Gunn: "Wes? I think I'm gonna need you on this one." Angel on phone: "Great. I'm on my way." Angel hangs up the phone and picks up the piece of paper from the desk. Walks over to Cordy and thrusts Connor into her arms. Angel: "Big case. Got to run." Cordy: "Oh..." Angel, already leaving: "I think he needs changing. Oh, and bottle, three o'clock." Cordy to Connor: "Well, hi there." Shot of a car driving down a street at night. A man dressed in a suit is talking on a hands-free phone headset of a large office as Angel enters through the glass doors. The side wall of the window are large windows overlooking a manufacturing floor. Harlan: "Yeah. Okay. That's good for us. Tell him a six month million dollar guarantee and we'll cover the extra cost. Yeah. No, I get that, but we got to get a decision by tomorrow. Listen, somebody just walked in my office. I'll call you back. (Takes the headset off) Mr. Angel." Angel: "Just Angel." Guy gets up to shake Angel's hand Harlan: "Harlan Elster. Thanks for coming to meet me." Angel: "No problem. I know what it's like when your name's on the letterhead..." Harlan: "Hmm. I got to say, you're not exactly what I pictured." Angel: "No?" Harlan: "You're pretty well coifed, I guess. You're not afraid to get a little mussed, are you, Mr. Angel? Because 'mussed' you're gonna be just by stepping foot in there." Angel: "In where?" Harlan: "Eighty third and Vermont. (Hands Angel a folder) Used to be low-income housing. Now it's a nest. Boarded up windows. No Electricity. Sewer access. They like it dark." Angel: "Vampires." Harlan: "A whole gang of them. Those photos were taken by the last guy I had on this job." Angel: "What happened to him?" Harlan: "He got mussed. You have much experience dealing with vampires?" Angel: "Some." Harlan: "Yeah, well, not like these. They're not out for blood. They want money." Angel: "Money?" Harlan: "Yeah. I know. Whoever heard of a vampire out to make a buck, right?" Angel lets out a half-hearted laugh and drops into a chair. Harlan: "Anyway, they've been putting the squeeze on some local business men. We pay them a protection fee and they don't eat our employees. They're demanding five thousand dollars by midnight." Angel: "Whoa." Harlan starts to make out a check: "Now, I'm prepared to pay you ten to make this problem go away. Five thousand now (rips out the check) the remainder when the jobs finished." Angel: "That'll make ten - which is more than they're asking you for." Harlan: "But this isn't about money." Angel: "No, no, of course it's not - about - that. (Takes the check) Money. (Lets out a short laugh as he looks at the check) I'll get right on this." Harlan shakes Angel's hand again: "Thanks." Angel: "Sure." Harlan watches the doors close behind Angel. A door behind Harlan opens and an older man walks in. Man: "What the hell are you doing in my office?" Harlan: "Mr. Elster." With that the imposter hauls back and knocks the real Harlan Elster out. Break Justine's head is resting on the table in Holtz' lair, her hand still pinned to the table by the ice pick. Holtz walks in, crouches down and lays his head on the table, so their eyes are on a level. Justine: "Decided to stick around." Holtz: "You asked me what I wanted from you. (Wraps his hand around the handle of the ice pick) I want you to go out and find others like you. People who have suffered as we have, people with the same rage, the same fire. You'll know them when you see them. Their eyes - will look like this feels." Justine lets out a scream as Holtz pulls the ice pick free. Holtz hands her a handkerchief. Holtz: "Are we clear? Have we learned our lessons, Justine?" Justine wraps the handkerchief around her hand. Justine: "We're clear." As Justine gets up she hits Holtz hard across the chin with her wrapped left fist, knocking him back. Justine: "You son of a bitch." She drops back into her chair, breathing hard, as Holtz watches her, fingering his chin. Angel walks into the lobby of the Hyperion, which is deserted, except for some papers strewn here and there and Cordy and Fred sprawled on the settee next to Connor's bassinet. Angel: "Is this country great or what? Five thousand smackeroos and all I have to do to collect five thousand more, is clean out a vamp nest downtown. Where's Wes and Gunn? I wanna show 'em this." Cordy: "Out on a case." Fred: "There's a young woman whose dead boyfriend is stalking her." Angel: "That's terrible. Did you..." Cordy: "I ran her credit. She's solvent." Angel: "Nice. (Crouches to look into the bassinet) Hey, how's my little magnum cum laude, Notre Dame, class of two thousand twenty?" Cordy: "Angel - I don't think it's such a great idea to be working on so many cases at once. I mean, what if we're all out making money and some poor devil stumbles in here and needs our help?" The doors open and Lorne stumbles in. Lorne: "Bon giorno, everybody, bon giorno." Angel: "You've been drinking?" Lorne: "Oh, I can hold my liquor, Mister. Unfortunately I can't say the same for my firewater." Lorne giggles. Fred: "Aren't they the same thing?" Lorne: "Hey, Fred-girl! No, this is special firewater, used to loosen the tongue of my Gar-wak snitch. They light the water on fire and there's chanting and a bong, and look out, Houston!" Angel: "Did you learn anything about Holtz?" Lorne: "Oh yeah. He is *really* not fond of you. I'm led to believe that he and his Grapplar demons had plans to (makes sound and cutting motion across his throat) you. (Angel leans back a little closing his eyes for a moment) Is my breath stinky?" Lorne exhales into Angel face. Angel: "Yeah." Angel fans the air in front of him with the check in his hand and backs away. Angel: "Holtz is using the Grapplars as soldiers." Lorne: "Not anymore, Bucko. He poisoned them and he's looking for replacements. Humans." Angel: "Do we know where he is?" Lorne: "Bro, I'm on it. I've got rats looking all over this town. Well, not actual rats - except two of them. Ooh, I don't feel so good." Cordy picks Connor up out his bassinet. Cordy: "Uh, we've got company." Angel turns to see the Nahdrahs walking in, clicking away as soon as they enter. Cordy: "Lorne? It's all snap, crackle, pop to me." Angel: "Ah, these are the guys that wanted Wesley." Lorne: "Not anymore. Now they want Fred." Angel: "For what?" Lorne clicks away to the Nahdrahs then turns back to Angel. Lorne: "Her enormous brain. They're convinced she can solve the puzzle they wanna give to their prince. (To Fred) They weren't offended by you before, they were impressed." Fred: "Really?" Angel: "Where would she have to go and how long would it take?" Lorne after clicking to the Nahdrahs: "They live on a barge, currently docked in the marina. And a day or two, depends no how long it takes her to solve it." Angel to Fred: "You game?" Fred shrugs: "Sure.' Angel to Lorne: "You'll have to go with her to translate. Tell 'em it won't be cheap. They're getting two of our top employees. That's salary, per diem, overtime..." Lorne: "Okay, okay." Clicks and pops away at the Nahdrahs. One of them lifts the metal suitcase up. Lorne: "They apologize for their paltry offering and hope you'll accept (the Nahdrah opens the case revealing bundles of cash) Fifty thousand dollars!?!" Angel: "Fifty..." Cordy: "...thousand..." Fred: "...Dollars?" Angel reaches out and grabs the suitcase, a big smile on his face: "We accept." Gunn and Wes are guarding the Blonde from earlier at her home. Ally: "You know, I consider myself independent and it's hard for me to ask for help, but - it really feels good for you guys to be in the house. You know that woman you work with was right. You inspire confidence." Wes: "Which woman?" Ally: "Brunette, really cute, Texan maybe?" Gunn and Wes smile: "Fred." Turn to look at each other. Gunn: "Said I inspire confidence." Wes: "Actually, I-I believe the comment was directed at me." Gunn: "Really? 'cause I don't think so." Ally holds out a photograph: "Here, this is Brian. Not exactly a rocket scientist, but, ah, he's so sweet. You ever meet somebody and you just know that you belong together? It just feels..." Gunn and Wes: "Comfortable." They look at each other. Wes: "You read all the same science journals." Gunn: "You laugh at the same dumb jokes." Ally: "And the s*x. Oh, god, do I miss the s*x." Gunn to himself: "Tell me about it." Wes: "Hmm." Ally: "So, explain something to me. How can Brian be stalking me if he's dead?" Gunn opens his mouth but Wes, looking out the window answers before he gets a chance to say anything. Wes: "There are any number of explanations. Witchcraft, black magic, voodoo, zombiefication, demon possession, even vampirism." Ally: "But why? Why is he hanging around here? What does he want?" Gunn tries to answer, but Wes beats to it again. Wes: "Perhaps there is something he left unfinished, something he wants to tell you." Gunn: "Or maybe he just wants to eat your intestines." Wes: "Gunn. We don't know that he's a zombie, and besides the flesh eating is a myth. Zombies merely mangle, mutilate and occasionally wear human flesh. So there is no reason to be frightened until we have a better idea..." The door, beside which Wes is standing, cracks open and a pale hand grabs a hold of him. Wes throws himself against the door, trying to force it shut again. Wes: "Gunn!" Gunn runs over and starts to beat on what's visible of Brian with his baseball bat. Brian retreats and they slam the door shut. Wes: "Right then. Zombie it is." Lorne moans as he and Fred climb on to the Nahdrah's barge. Fred: "Are you okay?" Lorne: "I was feeling seasick when we were still on dry land. Do I look greener than usual?" Fred: "A little." They are lead into a big open room on the deck of the barge. Lorne: "Oh, nice décor! It's sort of a Jules Verne meets Leona Helmsly." The Nahdrahs click away as they lead them further into the room. Lorne: "Oh, great! They wanna take our picture." He and Fred pose and one of them takes the picture. Lorne: "Terrif. Hey, this is the puzzle they want you to solve." There are irregularly shaped hunks of glass, softly glowing from within, spread out on a table. Fred: "I'm guessing it fits together in some sort of algorithmic sequence? Any hints?" Lorne clicks at the Nahdrahs. Lorne: "Yeah, just one. He said if they knew how to do it themselves you wouldn't be here." Fred sits down at the table, opens her laptop and takes a closer look at the pieces. Fred: "So. Causation. Corollary. Causatu Corollary. Are we talking a closed curve of finite length in a simply connected domain of zero? - That would be too easy, wouldn't it?" One of the Nahdrahs comes over with a tray. Lorne: "Oh, hors d'oeuvres. (Sees that they are Eyeballs and insects on round crackers) Oh, really I couldn't. I had eyeballs and insects for breakfast." Angel walks into the vamps' lair, looking around. Angel: "Ooh, aren't we just the scary serial vamps - with the spooky lair -and the taking of trophies of our victims?" Angel picks up some of the stuff (like watches, wallets, purses, etc) on one of the tables then drops it back down. Angel: "Lame." Angel pulls out a stake and flattens himself against the wall next to the door as footsteps approach. A man comes in, carrying more loot, and Angel attacks him from behind. The guy drops the stuff and turns on Angel, revealing his vamp face and the two of them fight. Angel gets thrown around a bit. He lands on the floor and picks up a broken table leg. Angel: "Next time you hit the yard sales, I'd avoid the wooden furniture. (Angel stakes the vamp as it charges him again.) I hear Wicker is nice." Angel gets up to see two other vamps standing there. Angel: "Oh, great. Two more." Vamp1: "Dibs on the coat." Angel walks back into Harlan Elsters office. The real Harlan Elster is looking through some papers. Angel: "Excuse me." Elster: "What do you want?" Angel: "I-I'm looking for Harlan Elster?" Elster: "I'm Harlan Elster." Angel: "That's bad." Elster: "How's that bad?" Angel: "Well, because the Harlan Elster I'm looking for (pulls out the check) gave me this." Elster steps up to take a closer look at it, then points at his chin. Elster: "Really. Well, he gave me this. (Hands the check back to Angel) At least mine's real. The man who forged my name, about your height, less beat up?" Angel: "Yeah, that's him." Elster: "Sam Ryan. Used to work for me. Press Foreman. Fired him six months ago. He kept coming to me to bankroll his kooky scheme." Angel: "Kooky scheme?" Elster: "The guy's been a little bit off his nut ever since he lost his friend. Wanted me to pay some charlatan ghostbuster to clean out an abandoned rathole in midtown. He was convinced *vampires* were nesting there. Some people would take advantage of a guy like that." Angel: "Yeah. (Holds up the check and rips it in two) Yeah." Starts to leave. Elster: "Immortal creatures living in a rat infested building, guarding their treasure. Right." Angel turning back: "Treasure?" Fred is putting some of the glass hunks together. Fred: "There is a ascending and descending causation instantly proved by (the pieces stick together) - that! (Giggles) I think I'm on to something here." Lorne: "Yeah, me too. Unfortunately it requires a vomitorium." Fred: "Oh - I'm sorry. Lorne clicks to the Nahdrah watching Fred's progress. The Nahdrah points and clicks in answer. Lorne: "I'll just go use the facilities. Keep up the good work." Lorne leaves as Fred slides another glass piece into place, causing the Nahdrah to hurry away. Lorne is walking up some stairs and turns down a gangway. He hears some soft whirring and clicking and turns the other way. He traces the sounds to a curtained off alcove. Parting one of the curtains slightly he sees a sick looking Nahdrah without a mask sitting in a chair, attended by several others. Lorne watches as one of the Nahdrahs turns a laptop so the big one in the chair (and Lorne) can see the screen. It shows a picture of Fred's head sliding over onto the shoulders of the guy sitting in the chair. Subtitles: "She is solving the puzzle, sire. We have found a head worthy to rest upon your noble shoulders." The prince in the chair nods. Lorne turns away - only to get hit over the head with a metal bar from behind. Subtitles as we zoom in on the picture of Fred's head on the prince's body: "We will sew it on this very night." Break [SCENE_BREAK] Cordy is hopping up on her toes and dropping back down in front of Connor's bassinet. She gives up after a few tries and bends down to pick Connor up. Cordy: "Hmm. Well, I figured it was a long shot. But I really can float, you know. Well, I did that one time during my last vision. Who-ee - somebody needs a change. (Puts him back down) But before that, believe me, there was no floating up piece of mind destiny to my visions. No there was just - killer pain. And unfortunately, that's not an exaggeration. They really were killing me. (She moves the tea tray and puts a cloth down) So, the Powers That Be put a little demon in me, and as far as side effects go (Picks Connor back up) The visions are a breeze now. (Puts him down on the cloth and starts to change him) I don't know what else might be in store. I'm keeping an eye out for horns and a tail. Wow. It just occurred to me what a weird life you're in for, little guy. Your aunt Cordy gets visions and your daddy is a... - Well, you won't see him aging whole lot, or catching surf and sun in Malibu. But he is a good man, a champion, and he loves you very much. Plus, he's quite the natty dresser. (The change done, she picks Connor up) And your daddy is out there right now fighting evil - for money." Sam Ryan walks into the vampires' nest and looks around. He picks up a watch off one of the dressers and looks at it. Angel grabs Sam's arm from behind and takes the watch away from him. Sam: "Give it back." Angel: "No, I think I earned it, don't you? What is it? Rolex?" Sam: "Timex." Angel: "Oh. (Twists Sam's arm a littleharder) What is it, really? Considering all the trouble you went through to get it, we both know it's not just a watch." Sam: "That's true. It's not." Angel: "Probably worth more than ten grand, too." Sam: "A lot more." Angel: "What's it do? Open a portal? Raise an army?" Sam: "It glows in the dark. Probably about all of them do now. Looks like they cracked it when they took it off him. (Angel lets go of Sam and Sam turns to face him) I told him to let them have it, but - he wasn't about to give it up. It was the first thing I ever bought him." Angel: "These vampires killed your friend." Sam nodding: "Look. I'm sorry about what I did. I needed help. I didn't know what else to do." Angel: "So you lied to me." Sam: "I'm sorry." Angel: "I didn't kill three vampires for nothing. Ten grand - that was the deal." Sam: "Seven." Angel: "Okay. Fine. I'll take seven." Sam: "No, no, no. You said three vampires. There were seven." They both look around. Angel: "Which would make four more." Sam: "Four more." Cordy bending over the bassinet: "You're gonna discover there's a lot of cool things in this world. (Holds up two handful of the Nahdrah's money with a big smile) Fifty grand - way up there on the list." Cordy goes to put the bills back into the suitcase with the other ones. Cordy: "We're just gonna lock this up in the safe and... " The camera zooms in close as Cordy kind of freezes, a wide-eyed expression on her face. Cordy: "Right after this vision." We get blurry shots of Fred solving the puzzle, of the prince and the laptop screen, then of a knife blade coming at Fred. Cordy: "Oh god. Fred, don't solve that puzzle." Fred puts another piece of glass into place, smiling: "Shouldn't be long now." Ally: "Do you guys know how much longer we're gonna be? I've got plans this evening." Wes: "We've taken every precaution, secured every entrance..." We hear glass breaking and Gunn and Wes stand up, weapons at the ready. Gunn: "With the possible exception of the skylight in the kitchen." Brian walking in: "Ally! - Ally - baby, I just..." Ally flinches as Gunn hits Brian over the head with the baseball bat. Wes: "Into the bedroom." Brian pushes Wes and Gunn away from him, as Ally runs for the bedroom. They pick themselves back up and Gunn clubs Brian again before they hurry after Ally. Cordy hangs up the phone. Cordy: "Well. Your uncle Wes and uncle Gunn not picking up either. And your daddy, he doesn't know how to work his voicemail (Picks Connor up) or keep a promise. So we'll go down to the Marina, return the money and explain it was all just a big mistake." Cordy, holding Connor in one arm, picks up the money case with her free hand and heads out. Gunn and Wes are sliding a dresser in front of the bedroom door as Brian pounds on it. Brian: "Ally, why won't you talk to me?" Ally: "Because you're dead. Now, go away! (To Wes and Gunn) You know, I'm paying good money here. Can you please get rid of him?" Gunn and Wes try to brace the dresser, but it is slowly pushed back to the point where Brian and stick his head in through the crack in the door. Brian: "Just give me another chance, baby. (Looks at Gunn and Wes) Who are these guys?" Wes: "We are here to protect her from you, actually." Brian: "Protection? (Lets out a deep breath and smiles at Ally) I thought you were dating them." Ally: "You know, this is exactly why I broke up with you. You're suffocating me! Now, get lost!" Ally tries to help push the dresser. Gunn lifts his bat one handed and bashes at Brian's hand and head with it. They manage to shut the door. They all wait and listen for a moment, then Wes motions for Gunn to take a look as he slides the dresser back. Wes: "What's he doing?" Gunn: "Pouting." Ally: "Okay. That's it." She walks past Gunn out into the living room, where Brian is sitting, hunched over. Ally: "You know, this is so typical of you. You're all bluster and then you pout." Brian: "I thought we had fun together." Ally: "We did, but you're so - needy." Brian: "Needy? Because I cared?" Ally: "Caring didn't entitle you to read my diary, follow me to work..." Brian: "I never... Okay, I read your diary once or twice. Does that give you a reason to poison me?" Ally notices Gunn and Wes looking at her. Ally: "What? You're gonna believe everything a zombie says?" Wes: "Are you saying *she* killed you?" Brian: "I'd forgive her if she'd take me back." Gunn: "You're kidding, right?" Brian: "No. (To Ally) Baby, I've seen the guys you've been going out with. You're not having any fun! Come on. Lets give it another shot." Ally stays silent, just looking at Brian. Brian gets up, smiling. Brian: "What do you say? Me and you?" Ally, half smiling: "Eew, I-I can't. It's creepy." Brian: "Come on. I miss you." Gunn shakes his head. Ally: "Oh. I don't know. - Maybe I was a little - hasty." They grin at each other then hug. Gunn and Wes look at each other, as Brian gives Ally a kiss. Wes, turning back: "Will that be cash or charge?" Sam is bracing his back against the door of the vampire nest as someone is pounding on it from outside. Sam: "Alright. You're kidding me, right?" Angel, sitting on a table across the room: "Sorry. I don't get paid I can't fight." Sam: "I don't think I can hold this by myself." Angel: "Yeah. I see that." Sam: "They're coming through." Angel gets up: "Okay. You know what, I'll help barricade, but that's it." Angel leans his back against the door beside Sam. Sam: "I'm sorry I lied to you. I shouldn't have." Angel: "No. You did the wrong thing. But your heart was in the right place. Your motives were noble." Sam: "Thank you." Angel: "It's not as though I haven't been accused of nobility myself once or twice." Sam: "Then you understand." Angel: "Yeah. But being a champion is not all good deeds and happy endings. There's a lot that goes on behind the scenes. People don't seem to consider that." The thudding on the door gets harder. Sam: "I think - I think we're in real trouble here." Angel: "All right. Maybe we can work something out. You own a car?" Sam: "The bank owns it." Angel: "House?" Sam: "I rent." Angel: "How's your credit. Can you borrow?" Sam: "I'm kind of out of a job. Spent all I had tracking these guys." Angel: "I don't know what to tell you, Sam. I can't kill on deferment. Sets a precedent." Fred slides the last piece of the puzzle into place the glass pyramid she has formed lights up. The Nahdrahs around her click away in excitement. Fred takes off her glasses, a big smile on her face. Fred: "Oh, it was nothing. (The Nahdrahs take a hold of her and pull her along) Oh. Are we going somewhere to celebrate? Say, has anyone seen my friend with the horns? He wasn't feeling so good and I'm a little worried about him." They enter another room and Fred sees Lorne lying tied up on the floor. Fred: "And me now." Lorne: "Yeah, I know. We're in a bit of a situation here." The Nahdrahs push Fred down in a chair across from their prince and close the clamps to hold her in place. Fred: "Oh god. I don't have to marry him, do I?" Lorne: "In fact, no. And that's something we can be grateful for." Fred: "What are they gonna do?" Lorne: "Well it seems the prince's head or heads, I should say, wear out every so often, and they uh..." Fred: "Cut off someone else's and give him a new one?" Lorne: "Uh, ah..." One of the Nahdrahs his holding a blade up. Fred: "Lorne, help. Help!" A sharp whistle sounds and everyone turns to look at Cordy standing in the door, holding the money and Connor. Cordy: "Hey! I'd just like a word here." Lorne: "Oh-ho-ho, you guys are *so* gonna get your butts kicked!" Cordy: "Lorne." Lorne: "Sorry. I yield the floor to the person *not* tied up on it." Cordy: "Translate. There's been a terrible misunderstanding. And I know you're men of honor and I know we can make a simple exchange - in a - a civilized manner." Cordy looks at Lorne and he starts to click away at the Nahdrahs. Cordy sets down the suitcase. Cordy: "We return your gracious gift and you return Fred. Sorry about the confusion, but we kind of need her head at work." Fred: "Firmly attached to her body." Cordy: "That goes without saying. (Lorne is staring at her) Say it!" Lorne: "Ah, uh..." Clicks away to the Nahdrahs, who answer back and raise their weapons. Lorne: "I told them what they had to do, and told them what would happen if they didn't do it." Cordy: "Lorne, we're in no position to be threatening these nice people." Lorne: "Oh, sure we are. Angel, Wes, and Gunn can take 'em! Can't see them from down here. Where are they anyway?" Cordy: "Out making money." Lorne: "Oh. So, when I told the Nahdrahs that they were surrounded by killer warriors I was stretching the truth a little?" Cordy: "Just enough to get us all killed." Cordy gives the Nahdrahs a big smile. Break Back at the vampire nest Angel steps away from the door. Sam: "Uh, yeah, hello? What happened to the complimentary barricading?" Angel throws a chair up to break a window high up in the wall. Angel: "It's gonna give. I'm getting you out of here. Lets go." Sam closes his eyes for a moment: "No. You go." Angel: "What?" Sam: "I'm not leaving. I can't." Angel: "You think you can take on four vampires by yourself?" Sam: "Probably not. But these things killed Jack. If I run now, I'll be running the rest of my life." Angel rubs his eyes: "Yeah, that's noble, Sam, but do you really think that's what Jack would want?" Sam: "No. I think Jack would probably wanna be here with me. But that's never gonna happen." Angel sighs and picks up a wooden chair leg. He goes over to the door and pulls Sam away from it, talking to him. Angel: "You take on a job in good faith - you expect to be compensated. You provide the best service you can offer." The door behind Angel burst open and four vampires rush in. Angel stakes one of them without even looking around, throwing another to the side, never taking his eyes off Sam. Angel: "A quality service. - But you know, there's overhead." The vamp in the doorway hesitates as Angel grabs another one and stakes it off hand, still ranting. Angel: "There's rent, three phone lines, advertising, it adds up." The remaining vamps run as Angel pulls out the watch and throws it at Sam. Angel: "Here." Angel starts to leave. Sam: "Thank you. I can't even begin to express my..." Angel throws the chair leg to the side on his way out the door. We hear some beeping. Angel pulls out his phone. Sam calling after him: "I owe you. - You're a real - champion." Angel: "Yeah whatever. (To phone) Hello? (Beeping continues) Hello?!" Sam: "Hey - I think - I think that's your voice mail." Cordy: "Lorne - do these guys have groins?" Fred: "Is that really important right now?" Cordy: "Work with me here, kids." Lorne: "I think so. I never knew one intimately." Cordy steps forward and kicks one of the Nahdrahs between the legs. We hear a metal clang, and Cordy hops back on one foot. Cordy: "Oh. Ow! Ow! Ow!" Cordy hops backwards through the curtain, only to come back in, bracketed by Wes and Gunn, who proceed to attack the Nahdrahs. The Nahdrah standing next to Fred holds the sword blade against her throat and Fred begins to scream. Cordy: "Fred! Help her!" Wes and Gunn pop up out of the fight: "Fred!" Gunn grabs a metal rod, while Wes grabs the suitcase, and hurl them. The rod knocks the Nahdrah with the sword backwards, away from Fred. The suitcase decapitates the prince before bursting open against the wall. All the fighting and screaming stops as the Nahdrahs stare at their headless prince. Gunn: "Well, I guess you cut off the snake's head..." All the Nahdrahs start clicking and raise their weapons. Wes: "You piss the other snakes off." Wes and Gunn go down under the assault. The skylight burst and Angel drops in on them joining the fight. Wes and Gunn are working on freeing Fred. There are Nahdrah bodies littering the floor. Angel to Cordy: "I should have listened to you." Cordy: "Well, yeah." Angel takes Connor from her: "I should never have left you and the baby alone like that." Cordy: "Well - yeah." Wes and Gunn help Fred up out of the chair. Fred: "If you can keep your head when those about you are losing theirs guess you're pretty lucky. I could kiss you both." Wes and Gunn both move closer. Lorne clears his throat, and they all look down at him. Lorne: "Uh, still tied up down here." Fred: "Oh..." The three of them proceed to untie Lorne. Lorne: "Yeah, come on. My hands are turning pink." Angel: "Guys, can I say something? (Angel looks at the spilled money) Money's important but it - it isn't everything. - I got - I got carried away. - I just (looks down at Connor) I never had a life that was totally dependent on me before. (Looks at the money again) But that's no excuse. (To Cordy) Where was I?" Cordy: "Money's not the most important." Angel: "No, it's not. What's - important is (looks from Connor to the other) family - and the mission." Cordy after a beat: "They tried to cut Fred's head off. We earned every penny." Angel: "Hold the baby." Cordy takes Connor from Angel as everyone but her rushes over to the spilled money and starts to stuff it into their pockets. Gunn: "Spending money..." Hyperion, night, Cordy is singing a lullaby. Cordy: "Go to sleep, my baby peep..." She and Angel are falling asleep lying on top of Angel's bed with Connor in between them, feeding from a bottle. Cordy: "I'm just saying a boat." Angel: "No. College fund." Cordy: "Yes. College fund - and pay our bills - and put a down payment on a boat." Angel: "We're not getting a boat." Cordy: "Hmm, they're fun." Angel: "They're expensive. And when would I go on this boat, hmm?" Cordy: "Moonlight sails. - Okay. - College fund - pay our bills - and rent a ski condo in Aspen." Angel: "Ski condo?" Cordy: "There's got to be some fun in our lives." Angel: "Hmm - I like a ski condo." Cordy: "Sure. Snow. Trees. Chipmunk robots on ice..." Angel: "Chipmunk robots... - on ice..."

With his new son to consider, Angel begins worrying about paying the bills. His pursuit of money worries Cordelia, who is concerned that Angel will forget his mission to help the helpless. As Team Angel is spread thin, covering as many paying cases as possible, several members are put in harms way.

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_04x03

fd_CSI__Crime_Scene_Investigation_04x03_0

[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- NIGHT] [EXT. HOME - STREET - NIGHT] (A stream of liquid hits the ground. The empty can follows and hits the asphalt with a clang. TWO MEN, one carrying a crow bar, walk purposefully toward the house.) [EXT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - BACKYARD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The two men jump over the backyard fence. They use the crowbar and pry the backdoor open.) [INT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (They walk into the house.) Intruder 1: Hey, this place is a dump. Intruder 2: I'm telling you, this bitch is loaded and no one's seen her for weeks. (They walk through the passageway and into the living room. The place has been trashed.) Intruder 2: (alarmed) What the hell. Intruder 1: This place is trashed. Hey, man, you trying to make me look stupid? Intruder 2: No, man. I swear. Somebody must have beat us to it. (Looking around the room, they see a closed closet door with a chair wedged under the knob.) Intruder 2: What the hell is this? (Outside, there's a short, abrupt siren sound of a cop car approaching.) Intruder 1: I'm out, man. (They both turn and head out of the house as fast as they can.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - BACKYARD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The two INTRUDERS run out to the backyard, through the same way they came in. They jump over the fence. On the other side, they are greeted by two OFFICERS with their guns drawn and pointed at the two men, headlights shining straight at them. They look up and see various police cars waiting for them, blocking their escape route.) Officer: (overhead) Gentlemen, put your hands on your heads, please. (They two INTRUDERS put their hands on the back of their heads.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. FOSTER RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM examines the doorknob and the chair.) (Camera pulls back to show both GRISSOM and WARRICK dusting the chair for prints. There's no telling how long they've been there, but no matter, they're thorough and are still working on the chair.) (Behind them, an OFFICER stands guard watching them work.) Warrick: Smudges. Nothing but smudges. Doesn't anybody use formica anymore? Officer: First thing we did when we saw this was call you guys. Didn't touch a thing. (WARRICK and GRISSOM continue to work on dusting the chair for prints.) Officer: So you going to open it? Grissom: Eventually. (They're through with the chair. GRISSOM looks at the door knob. Both he and WARRICK get to their feet. They each take a hold of the chair and pulls it away from the doorknob.) (WARRICK puts the chair aside.) (GRISSOM steps forward and starts dusting the doorknob. He finds one print. He takes out a tape lift and carefully gets the print.) (The OFFICER sighs and mutters to himself.) Officer: This is going to take all day. Grissom: Sun Tzu once said, "If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by." (He hands the tape lift with the print to WARRICK. They're ready to open the door.) (GRISSOM reaches out and opens the closet door.) (Inside, they find the mummified figure of a dehydrated woman on the floor.) Grissom: But those were brutal times. HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - YARD -- NIGHT] (The DAVID PHILLIPS pushes up a gurney through the yard and up the walk to the front door. He picks up his paperwork and opens the door.) [INT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - CONTINUOUS] (Inside, WARRICK is just beyond the door blocking it from being opened.) Warrick: Hey, hold up. (He pushes the door shut.) (The mail hole opens up and DAVID peers through the opening.) David Phillips: Warrick? Warrick: Hey, David. Give me a minute and let me clear a path here, okay? David Phillips: All right, I'm not going anywhere. (WARRICK picks up the mail in front of the door on the floor.) Warrick: All right. (He looks down at the postage mark on the mail: LAS VEGAS / SEP 06 '03 / NV.) Warrick: There's at least four weeks of mail here, Grissom. (GRISSOM is still kneeling down just inside the closet looking at the body.) Grissom: Four weeks of 100 degree days, zero percent humidity. Eventually, the body tissues sublimate ... (Quick CGI flashback to: MADELINE FOSTER is in the closet, just barely alive, just barely dead.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... cell fluids vaporize ... (MADELINE FOSTER dies. CGI takes over and the body slowly decomposes and mummifies, the flesh hardening on her body.) Grissom: (V.O.) ... and all that's left ... proteins, fats and minerals.) (End of CGI flashback. Resume to present.) (WARRICK continues to leaf through the mail.) Warrick: Turns a grape into a raisin. Grissom: Well, the desert was making mummies long before the Egyptians. (GRISSOM looks at the body and notices her hands. He looks up at the door and sees something.) Grissom: Take a look at this. (GRISSOM shines the light on the door. WARRICK moves in closer for a look. On the lower edge of the door, there are fingernail claw marks with flesh and blood smudged into the markings.) Grissom: And look at her fingers. (They both look down at her damaged fingertips.) (Camera zooms in for a close up of the pieces of wood embedded in her broken and ravaged nail bed.) Warrick: She tried to claw her way out. Grissom: Yeah. Which means she was alive when she was entombed. (GRISSOM looks up and around the closet.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. FOSTER RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (Outside, BRASS questions the INTRUDER who broke into the house.) Intruder 2: She was supposed to be, like, this old widow, right? Like, always going out to dinner and coming home with shopping bags. Bitch had insurance money and word was that she kept it in a box hidden under her bed. Brass: A retired grade-school teacher living on a pension ... Intruder 2: Listen, man, we didn't kill her. Brass: (simply) No, I know that. What I want to know is, other than the back door, did you or your partner touch anything in the house? Intruder 2: No. There was nothing left to touch, man. (BRASS nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - SUNRISE] [INT. FOSTER RESIDENCE - KITCHEN -- MORNING] (WARRICK walks around and looks through the small kitchen. He sees a small dainty tea set out on doilies on a serving tray. Next to it on the counter, he finds a piece of chocolate cake with a huge bite in it.) Warrick: Hey, Griss. (GRISSOM walks into the kitchen.) Warrick: Don't you think this is kind of odd? A woman who spends the time making tea like this leaves a chunk of chocolate cake on the counter. Grissom: With a big bite out of it? (WARRICK picks up the plastic container. The label on it reads: LAVISH CAFÉ.) Warrick: Yeah. Some crack head brutalizes an old lady, leaves her in a closet, and grabs a snack on the way out. Grissom: Hopefully. Take it back to the lab. (GRISSOM turns and walks back into the living room. He opens the closet door, walks inside and closes the door behind him.) [INT. CLOSET - CONTINUOUS] (Inside the small closet, GRISSOM looks around. He looks down. He looks up. He sees the light above, reaches up and taps the bulb.) (He turns off his flashlight.) (Quick flashback to: [INT. CLOSET] The door opens and the WOMAN is pushed inside.) Madeline Foster: Oh! Male Voice: Shut up! Get in! Madeline Foster: Oh! (Cut to: CLOSE UP: A chair is wedged under the door knob.) (Cut to: MADELINE FOSTER reaches up and turns the closet light on.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (GRISSOM stands in the exact spot the woman was in when she turned the light on. He looks around the closet, then focuses on the markings on the door.) (Quick flashback to: MADELINE FOSTER struggles with the doorknob, trying to get it open. The chair won't budge. She hits her hands on the door trying to push it open; she grabs and jiggles the doorknob.) (End of flashback. Resume to GRISSOM. Continue sounds of MADELINE FOSTER struggling inside the closet.) (GRISSOM stretches out his hand and places it on the door imagining MADELINE FOSTER clawing the door with her fingernails.) (Quick flashback to: MADELINE FOSTER desperately claws at the door. She grabs at the doorknob.) (End of flashback. Resume to GRISSOM. Continue sounds of MADELINE FOSTER struggling inside the closet.) (Quick flash of MADELINE FOSTER inside the closet struggling to get out. She slowly slides to the floor. She curls up into a fetal position on the closet floor. The light burns out. In the darkness and by the light coming through the crack under the door, MADELINE FOSTER looks up at the closet ceiling. End of flashback. Resume to GRISSOM.) (Camera holds on GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (MADELINE FOSTER'S body is out on the autopsy table as ROBBINS goes over his findings with GRISSOM.) Robbins: Fluoroscope showed no bullet or stab wounds, and apart from multiple fractures of her fingers and hands, no other apparent injuries. Grissom: So whoever boarded her up in the closet maybe didn't intend to kill her. Robbins: (shrugs) Yeah. They must have thought somebody'd find her -- a friend or relative. Grissom: She lived alone. Only relative was a nephew. Brass is looking for him. Robbins: Live alone, die alone. In this case, from massive dehydration. Rule of threes: Three minutes without air, three days without water, and three weeks without food. Grissom: Three days must have felt like three years. Robbins: Warrick said you found a possible print at the scene. Need to rule hers out? Grissom: Yeah. Also need a dental impression. Robbins: Well, that'll be easy. (ROBBINS reaches out and removes the dentures from her mouth. He drops it into the metal bin on the side table. GRISSOM watches as ROBBINS cuts off the tip of her finger.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [EXT. TIMMEL RESIDENCE - BACKYARD -- DAY] (The OFFICER leads CATHERINE out to the backyard.) Catherine: So, what do we have here? Officer: Well, boy was out playing, found the weapon, fired one shot, dropped the weapon. No one's touched it since. Catherine: Hmm. (She looks down at the gun on the ground.) Catherine: Okay, thanks. (The OFFICER leaves.) (CATHERINE puts her bag down and kneels to pick up the gun. She looks at it and checks the cartridge. She sees something red inside the trigger guard and takes it out.) (Camera zooms in for a close up for the red piece.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TIMMEL RESIDENCE - BACKYARD - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (MRS. TIMMEL holds NATHAN on her lap as CATHERINE walks over to them.) Catherine: Hey, Nathan. How's your foot? Nathan Timmel: I got a rocket ship band-aid. Catherine: Hmm. Yeah, I see that. Mrs. Timmel, does the gun belong to someone in the house? Mrs. Timmel: No, absolutely not. My husband and I don't believe in guns. We moved here from the city because it was supposed to be safer. Catherine: Nathan, where did you find the gun? Nathan Timmel: Seymour found it. Catherine: Seymour? Mrs. Timmel: (whispers) His imaginary friend. Catherine: (to MRS. TIMMEL) Oh. (to NATHAN) So, you were playing with Seymour, and he found the gun where? Nathan Timmel: (points) Over there. Catherine: Well, where exactly? Nathan Timmel: In the backyard. Catherine: Was it buried? Did you dig it up? Nathan Timmel: Nope. (Quick flashback to: NATHAN walks out into the backyard and picks up the gun from the base of the tree. He points it downward ... and fires. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Will you ever play with guns again? Nathan Timmel: Nope. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY OUTSIDE MORGUE] (GRISSOM leans against the wall as BRASS talks with him.) Grissom: We don't need an I.D ... Brass: Oh, the nephew said he wanted to see her. Insisted on it. Made me curious. (A young man walks slowly toward them.) Brass: You Connor Foster? Connor Foster: Yeah. I'm sorry I'm late. I got lost. (He looks around.) This is the morgue, huh? [INT. MORGUE] (A small group gathers around the door to the morgue body storage unit. DAVID PHILLIPS opens the door and pulls out the table with the body on it.) Grissom: You have to prepare yourself for this. Your aunt was found in an advanced state of decomposition. (DAVID pulls back the sheet. CONNOR FOSTER looks at the body and turns away.) Connor Foster: Oh, this is messed up. This is really messed up. (He turns back and glances at the body, then jumps.) Connor Foster: Whoa! She just moved. Did you see that? (BRASS and GRISSOM glance at each other at CONNOR'S bizarre behavior.) Connor Foster: I'm telling you, she just moved. Brass: Sometimes, when you see the body of someone you know, someone you've seen move before, you want them to move. Connor Foster: That's not her. This lady's too thin. That's not her skin, either. My aunt always wore sunblock. Grissom: Dry mouth. Diaphoresis. Red eyes, dilated pupils. Connor Foster: Huh? Brass: It means you're high. (CONNOR looks at BRASS and GRISSOM.) Connor Foster: I got to go. Brass: We'd like you to stay. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM] (BRASS and GRISSOM interview CONNOR FOSTER. CONNOR takes a sip of his drink.) Brass: Where are you living these days, Connor? Connor Foster: At the YMCA off industrial, near the underpass. Brass: Nice. How's work? Connor Foster: I don't have a job. I used to. Brass: Yeah. Yeah, two years ago, your aunt reported a pearl necklace stolen. You were busted trying to hock it at a pawn shop. Connor Foster: She dropped those charges. Brass: Oh, sure. Anything for her favorite nephew. And what have you done for her? She was lying in a coat closet for over a month. You didn't call. You didn't stop by. Connor Foster: (interrupting) I don't call her much. We only have dinner on holidays. Whenever she sees me, it makes her kind of sad. Grissom: Do you get the munchies? Connor Foster: When? Grissom: When you're high. (When CONNOR doesn't answer, GRISSOM leans forward intently.) Grissom: Do you like cake? Connor Foster: (laughs) No, I go for burgers. Sonic. Grissom: How would you like to make a dental impression for us? Connor Foster: I'll do whatever you guys want. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE walks into the lab. RICH has his back to the door.) Catherine: Hey, Rich. (RICH turns around.) Rich: Whatcha got for me? Catherine: Found this somewhere where it didn't belong. (She takes the gun out and hands it to him.) Catherine: Unregistered. No prints. (He checks the gun out.) Rich: Huh. Sweet piece. Catherine: Mm-hmm. Rich: .32 beretta tomcat. Titanium frame, stainless steel barrel and slide. Super lightweight. Catherine: Yeah, light enough for a five year old to use. Rich: Ouch. Catherine: He's okay. Thank god. Rich: Good. (RICH walks over to the cabinet to get some bullets for the gun.) Rich: .32 caliber. Not many of these in circulation. Catherine: Well, that's a good thing. Rich: Potentially. (He finds the bullets.) Rich: Okay. Here we go. (He walks over to the table and loads the gun. CATHERINE grabs a set of goggles and ear phones and puts them on.) Catherine: Okay. (RICH picks up the gun.) Rich: (shouts) Two shots! (He fires twice.) SHORT TIME CUT TO: [BALLISTICS LAB] [SCOPE VIEW] of the bullet. (RICH does a computer comparison of the bullet just shot with the database while CATHERINE waits and watches.) (Various cuts of the database running the comparison.) (There's a match to a bullet attached with the following crime: Type: D.B. STATUTE: *** Description: Murder Code: DOC# 1773621-43 CRIME SCENE REPORT Investigating Officer: W. Brown 0012542 <Ballistics> ID TYPE: Bullet <32 Automatic> WEAPON: N/A 0013837 <CORONER'S REPORT> TYPE: DEAD BODY NAME: FRANK MADDOX LOCATION: MASLOW PARK Rich: There's showing up for work and there's doing your job. Warrick brought in a .32 auto coroner's bullet last week. D.B. in Maslow Park. You just found the murder weapon. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- NIGHT] (CATHERINE looks at the photos for the MADDOX case. WARRICK is in the lab supplying additional information. Camera shows various photos of FRANK MADDOX.) Catherine: Frank Maddox. 47-year-old white male. Professional bounty hunter. Single .32 round in the side of his head. Bruises on his face and chest. Warrick: Autopsy ruled those premortem. At least a day old. It was a close shot, non-contact, downward angle. No primer residue on the hands. T.O.D. was approximately 2:00 A.M. No one found the body until 7:00 A.M. A lot of wind ... Catherine: Warrick, your notes are great. Let the case speak for itself. (WARRICK turns and heads out of the room.) Warrick: I got to go see my mummy. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- NIGHT] (Camera opens on a dish with the thumb in it. GREG picks it up and looks at it closely.) Greg: (to WARRICK) You know, I could've sworn I heard Grissom telling you to do this. Warrick: Yeah? You know what rolls downhill? Greg: Apparently bloated fingertips. (GREG inks the fingertip.) Warrick: Come on, you got a lot of new skills to master. Field work's a little messier than your test tubes and your GCMS. Greg: Yeah, and a lot less accurate. Warrick: One continuous motion, nice and easy. (GREG takes a print from the fingertip.) Warrick: That's not bad. Keep practicing. Nine more to go. (WARRICK leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS] (WARRICK walks down the hallway and runs into NICK and SARA on their way out.) Sara: Hey. Warrick: Hey. Sara: I heard about your mummy in the closet. Very cool. Nick: Yeah, and we get a 406 in Henderson. Want to trade? Warrick: (no way) Nothing spells excitement like a B and E. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. KIRKWOOD RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (NICK and SARA walk up the front walk accompanied by an OFFICER. The OFFICER knocks on the door.) Michael Kirkwood: (through door) Who is it? Officer: Las Vegas police, sir. (The door opens.) Michael Kirkwood: Hey. Officer: We received a phone call from a neighbor about a break in. Michael Kirkwood: Yeah, yeah, (He glances behind him.) I'm, uh, sorry, officers. There's been a misunderstanding. (He motions to his daughter. SARA looks past him inside the house.) My daughter, she had some friends over tonight without my permission, and, um, they started drinking. (SARA sees LINDA KIRKWOOD cleaning up the broken glass on the floor and behind her is their daughter, SUZANNA KIRKWOOD, visibly shaking with her arms wrapped around her body. She looks, sees SARA watching her, then leaves the room.) Michael Kirkwood: They got out of control. They broke some stuff. A couple of windows, but, uh, you know, we got it under control, we're cleaning it all up. So I apologize for the trouble. Officer: No trouble at all, sir. You have a good night now. Michael Kirkwood: Thanks. (The door closes.) (NICK, SARA and the OFFICER turn around and leave. NICK sighs.) Nick: "To protect and serve." (NICK chuckles and turns to the OFFICER. SARA heads back to the car.) Nick: Are you boys ready for softball on Sunday? Officer: Ready to kick your ass, Stokes. Sara: See you back at the lab. Nick: All right. You're ready to kiss my what? Officer: You heard me. (NICK and the OFFICER continue talking. SARA gets into the car. She puts her kit down and closes the door.) (She reaches up and adjusts the rear view mirror. She finds SUZANNA KIRKWOOD sitting in the back seat of the car.) Suzanna Kirkwood: (softly) I need to go to the hospital. Please. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOSPITAL - EMERGENCY ROOM -- NIGHT] (SARA tries to talk with SUZANNA as they wait for the doctor. SUZANNA sits on the examination table with her back to SARA.) Sara: Suzanna, if you were sexually assaulted ... Suzanna Kirkwood: It was a party. It just got out of control. All I need is an AIDS test and a morning after pill. Sara: Date rape is still rape. Suzanna Kirkwood: (flatly) Thank you for clearing that up. (The doctor walks into the room.) Doctor: Hey. Sara: Hi. (SARA looks at SUZANNA and notices the bruises and bite marks on her shoulders.) Suzanna: (to the DOCTOR) Does she ... ? Does she have to be in here for this? Doctor: No. (The DOCTOR looks at SARAH.) Suzanna: Bye. Thank you. Sara: Okay. (SARA turns and leaves the room.) Doctor: (to SUZANNA) Go ahead and put this on, okay? (The DOCTOR turns to follow SARA out of the room. She pulls the curtain close as she leaves. SUZANNA starts to change into the gown.) (Cut to: [OUTSIDE EXAM AREA NEAR DOOR] SARA speaks with the DOCTOR.) Sara: We're going to need full-body photographs. If she can't talk, the kit's going to have to do it for her. Doctor: Okay. (The DOCTOR heads back into the examination area. SARA turns and leaves to wait.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM opens a box and takes out the chocolate cake. He sprays it. GREG walks into the lab.) Greg: Your, uh, mummy prints. (GREG puts the print card on the table in front of GRISSOM. He looks at it, then glances up at GREG.) Grissom: Warrick's getting sloppy. Greg: Yeah, someone should really have a talk with that guy. (GRISSOM swabs the chocolate cake. GREG watches him.) Greg: What's that? Grissom: Dessert. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. KIRKWOOD RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK and SARA are back talking with MICHAEL KIRKWOOD.) Michael Kirkwood: Look, I thought we were done. Nick: Well, sir, we need a list of all the kids who were here tonight. Linda Kirkwood: Why? Sara: Mrs. Kirkwood, Mr. Kirkwood, your daughter has been raped. Michael Kirkwood: (sighs) What did she tell you? (NICK notices the red splotches on MICHAEL KIRKWOOD'S knuckles.) Nick: We're going to need to search the premises. Michael Kirkwood: You can't. It's my house. Sara: You don't have a choice. We have a warrant. (SARA hands the warrant to MICHAEL KIRKWOOD as they walk into the house. NICK motions for them to leave.) Nick: I'm going to have to ask you folks to step outside. Thank you. (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD and LINDA KIRKWOOD leave the house.) Sara: I'll take the girl's room. Nick: Yeah, I'll take the master. [SCENE_BREAK] [SUZANNA'S BEDROOM] (SARA pulls the comforter off of the bed.) [MASTER BEDROOM] (NICK pulls the comforter off of the bed and uses the ALS.) (Cut to: SARA uses the ALS on the bed.) (Cut to: NICK scans the bed sheets.) (Cut to: SARA.) (Cut to: NICK puts the ALS aside and looks at the shelves. He finds a framed photo cracked. He finds several of the glass in the frames cracked. He picks up a photo and looks at it. He puts it back on the shelf.) (He looks down and finds a chip in the table. He reaches out and finds the closet door knob loose.) (NICK dusts the table and finds a print. He tape lifts it. He looks up at the closet door and on a hunch, flips the table over to wedge it under the door knob. It's a perfect fit. Right down to the chip in the table.) (NICK puts the table back and slowly reaches out for the closet door knob.) (He opens the closet door and finds it a mess inside. He finds bloody claw marks leading down to the low vent in the closet door. NICK pulls back and lowers his flashlight absolutely stunned by his thoughts.) (Camera holds on NICK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (GRISSOM, WARRICK, NICK and SARA surround a table full of photos.) Sara: So, how do we know we're dealing with the same suspect? Warrick: We don't. Nick: Table against the closet door, chair shoved under the knob. It is the same M.O. Sara: Any connections between the victims? Grissom: Well, both victims were left alive, we think. I mean, the old lady's death was probably unintentional, and the girl's rape was ... Sara: Crime of opportunity? Warrick: If you're out to rob somebody's house, why would you do it when they're home? Grissom: The difference between burglary and home invasion -- infliction of terror. (Quick flashback to: [INT. KIRKWOOD RESIDENCE - NIGHT] The KIRKWOODS are on their knees in the bedroom as the PERPETRATOR stands above them.) Perpetrator: Talk to the cops? Say a word, and I'll kill you. (Flash to SUZANNA. Flash to: The PERPETRATOR holds the gun up against MICHAEL KIRKWOOD'S head.) Perpetrator: I'll kill you, okay? (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Nick: Bad guys leave, fear just stays behind. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MASLOW PARK -- DAY] (CATHERINE and SGT. O'RILEY are at the park and head for the wooden bench.) Catherine: Maslow Park. All fun and games till the sun goes down. (CATHERINE glances down at the file in the hand.) Catherine: So, the bounty hunter is here at 2:00 A.M. O'Riley: Like shooting fish in a barrel. Almost guaranteed to run into one of his skips or some lowlife who knows ere they are. Catherine: Well, apparently, someone found him first. (Quick flashes of: [EXT. MASLOW PARK] FRANK MADDOX lifts the binoculars to his eyes and looks around the park. Someone walks up to him from behind, puts the gun to his head and fires.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Hunter becomes the hunted. (CATHERINE looks around the park.) Catherine: A dozen perfect dump sites within a mile of here. So, how does the gun end up across town in the hands of a five-year-old boy? O'Riley: Drive and dump. Catherine: (shakes her head) Doesn't make any sense. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- DAY] (Open on: Computer monitor: On the right is the print; on the left is the following information: Officer: G. GRISSOM Location: MADELINE FOSTER / (Closet Door Knob) / Residence (A second print appears on the monitor for: Officer: N. Stokes Location: KIRKWOOD / (Side Table) / Residence (JACQUI FRANCO is at the computer running the comparison while WARRICK and NICK watch and wait.) Jacqui Franco: You never make it easy, do you? Nick: The center whorls look similar. Warrick: Can you generate a composite? Franco: Well, it's all about gestalt. When the whole of the pattern is greater than the sum of its parts. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB] (GRISSOM works on the chocolate cake. He uses the magnifying glass and examines the bite detail.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - ANOTHER LAB] (SARA works on the photographs taken from SUZANNA KIRKWOOD. She traces the bite patter on her shoulder onto a clear plastic sheet.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - PRINT LAB] (JACQUI continues to work on matching the prints.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM peels off the bite mold.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (SARA shows GRISSOM her findings on the bite marks.) Sara: Once I pulled details, I shrank it back down to 100%. Here's the thing. Looks like the bite came from behind. Grissom: Well, it was probably easier to subdue her in that position. (Quick flashback to: SUZANNA KIRKWOOD is thrown on the bed face-down and held as she struggles. The RAPIST bites her shoulder from behind as she screams.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Camera pauses on SARA who is unusually quiet. GRISSOM turns to look at her.) Grissom: You okay? Sara: Yeah. (GRISSOM nods, then continues. He matches SARA'S bite drawings with the mold.) Grissom: The occlusal plane looks the same. And the lateral incisor overlaps the canine ... (He moves the clear sheet drawing from the photo to the mold to show that they match.) Grissom: ... in both cases. Sara: Same person. Grissom: Definitely not the old lady's nephew. (NICK and WARRICK walk in with the print results.) Nick: Hey, hey. Two partials equal one slimeball. Jacqui got a hit through AFIS. Warrick: The guy with the closet fixation is Steve Jansson. Sara: Let's see if he has an oral fixation as well. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT] (BRASS and SARA interview STEVE JANSSON.) Brass: Little Stevie Jansson. How was the home of the good shepherd, Steve? Steve Jansson: Mac and cheese was aces. Juvie offenses don't mean squat. My record -- it's been expunged. Brass: Expunged, huh? So, what's this crap you're pulling now? Sara: Two crime scenes, two prints-- both yours. Brass: And looking at your adult record, this makes strike two and three with one pitch. That's a real time-saver for us. Steve Jansson: I don't know what you're talking about. Brass: Madeline Foster. The Kirkwoods. Steve Jansson: I do work for them sometimes. Odd jobs. Brass: So, if we asked The Kirkwoods, they'd say you were their handyman, huh? Steve Jansson: Go ahead. Ask them. Sara: You always help yourself to something sweet while you work? (SARA holds out a mold.) Sara: Bite it. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB] (CATHERINE watches some televisionvideo footage of FRANK MADDOX.) Frank Maddox: (on footage) I'm saying it now, and I'm saying it loud. I will bring Terrango to justice. (WARRICK walks into the room.) Interviewer: (on footage) What makes you think you'll succeed where so many others have failed? Frank Maddox: (on footage) Failure's not an option. It never has been. You feeling me, Terrango? You can keep on running, but I will keep coming. I will never stop. Warrick: Them's fightin' words. Did he get his man? (CATHERINE turns back to the lab table. WARRICK follows her.) Catherine: Actually, no. Terrango killed two more people before another "recovery agent" picked him up in Texas. Warrick: Well, that probably hurt business. Catherine: Oh, yeah, it did. After that case, his recovery rate went down practically to zero. (She picks up a crime scene photo and looks at it.) Catherine: What about suicide? Warrick: No. It's a non-contact wound at a downward angle. It's a textbook murder. Catherine: Maybe too textbook. A bounty hunter would know how to fake it. Let's check out his right sleeve. Very odd. It's unbuttoned - it's pulled way down. It would explain why there weren't any prints on the gun. (Quick flashback to: FRANK MADDOX unbuttons his sleeve and uses it to hold the gun with as he puts it behind his own head. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Doesn't explain how the gun left the scene. Catherine: Maybe someone found it and grabbed it up. Warrick: Just to toss it in suburbia a week later? Catherine: We're always looking for a weapon. You'd think it'd be easier when the weapon finds us. Warrick: What's in the scope? (WARRICK looks through the microscope at the slip of ribbon.) [SCOPE VIEW] Catherine: It's polypropylene film. It was found in the trigger guard. It's ribbon, for wrapping presents and ... (She trails off, thinking. She pauses as something occurs to her. She picks up a package off the desk and turns to head somewhere. Hearing her leave, WARRICK looks up.) (Cut to: CATHERINE puts the gun on a scale to weigh it. 131.05 oz. She puts the gun down, resets the scale and weighs another item.) (WARRICK walks into the room. He watches her as she fills the container with weight equivalent to the weight of the gun.) Warrick: You got a theory? Catherine: You got ten bucks? (CATHERINE puts the weight into a bag while WARRICK checks his pockets for the cash.) Warrick: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY] (GRISSOM and BRASS walk down the hallway.) Grissom: Jansson's dental impression is consistent with the bite mark on the girl's shoulder. Brass: Consistent, but not conclusive. I spoke to Mr. Kirkwood. He wouldn't confirm or deny Jansson's handyman story. He said he couldn't remember. And without that, uh ... (His voice trails off. They turn the corner and meet up with SARA and GREG.) Sara: Hey, guys, we're screwed. Greg: The semen from the rape kit doesn't belong to Steve Jansson. No hits off CODIS either. (They all turn and start walking through the hallway.) Sara: There was more than one guy. She was gang-raped. (Quick flashback to: One man holds SUZANNE KIRKWOOD down while the other assaults her. End of quick flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: This gets cheerier by the minute. Sara: Jansson's never going to roll over on his partner. They're going to do it again. Brass: Yeah. Grissom: We've given them no reason to stop. (They group walks out of camera frame.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] Cue Sound: (PRELAP) DOORBELL [INT. KIRKWOOD RESIDENCE -- DAY] (SUZANNA KIRKWOOD opens the door to GRISSOM.) Grissom: Hi. My name's Gil Grissom. I'm with the Las Vegas crime lab. (He shows her his I.D.) Michael Kirkwood: (o.s.) Suzanna, ... (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD walks up to the door and SUZANNA steps away.) Michael Kirkwood: (to SUZANNA) ... I said I'd get it. (to GRISSOM) What do you want? I already told the police I have nothing more to say. Grissom: I think you do. And I need you to speak for someone who can't speak for herself. Another victim. Michael Kirkwood: I don't care about another victim. (GRISSOM looks up past MICHAEL KIRKWOOD at SUZANNA who hasn't completely left the room. MICHAEL KIRKWOOD turns and looks at his daughter.) Michael Kirkwood: Suzanna, please. (She turns and leaves the room.) Grissom: Look, we know that two men broke into your house. We have one suspect in custody, but we can't hold him unless you talk to us. Michael Kirkwood: I can't help you. I'm shutting the door now. (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD grabs the door to close it. GRISSOM stops him.) Grissom: Mr. Kirkwood, I've done all that I can. I need what you saw. Michael Kirkwood: (swallows) Mr. Grissom, do you have a wife, children? Grissom: No. Michael Kirkwood: Then you can't possibly understand how I feel. All I am to you is a folder in a drawer. Grissom: And if I had a wife and children ... Michael Kirkwood: Then you wouldn't be here. I can't help you. (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD steps back into the house and slams the door on GRISSOM.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- DAY] (WARRICK, NICK and SARA go through the KIRKWOOD'S trash.) Nick: Man ... LINDA KIRKWOOD was a Hoover. She even bleached the sheets. Sara: You know what I don't get? How do they get in? There's no sign of forced entry at either scene. Nick: Ring the doorbell; that usually seems to work. (SARA thinks about this.) (NICK picks up the things in front of him and goes through it, tossing it aside.) Warrick: Hey, hey, hey. Nick: What? Warrick: What is that you just threw in there? (WARRICK reaches out and picks up the paper bag. He looks at it.) Nick: Leftovers, I guess. Warrick: You know that piece of half-eaten shark with cake that Gris and I found at the old lady Maddie's house? This is from the same restaurant. Sara: Links the victims. (WARRICK opens the package and looks inside. He finds a receipt: LAVISH CAFÉ 14490 KILDARE RD. LAS VEGAS, NV 89109 SERVER: 8566 DATE: 10/08/03 7:18 PM MCX 64755 CARD#: XXXXXXXXXXXXX9444 EXP: 0906 Magnetic Card Present KIRKWOOD Approved 566849 Warrick: Same night as the home invasion. Signed by LINDA KIRKWOOD. Dinner for one. Nick: Single women, dining alone -- easy targets. (Quick flashback to: [LAVIS CAFÉ] LINDA KIRKWOOD sits at a table sipping a glass of wine.) Nick: (V.O.) All you have to do is follow them home. (The waiter puts the bag on the table for her. Cut to: As she leaves, she smiles at the waiter.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: (thinking) Same Restaurant ... Nick: (looks at WARRICK) Same waiter? (Their eyes meet.) (WARRICK flips the receipt over. There's a hand-written note on it. "THANKS YOUR SERVER / RYAN" [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. LAVISH CAFÉ -- DAY] (BRASS, GRISSOM and WARRICK interview the WAITER.) Ryan (waiter): Uh ... sure, they're regulars. I haven't seen, uh, Maddie in a while, but Mrs. K. comes in every Thursday while her daughter's at soccer practice. Brass: Well, you know all your customers this well? Ryan (waiter): I try to chat up the ones that come in alone. I feel bad for 'em. Warrick: So both women came in alone? Ryan (waiter): Every week. Brass: Where were you after your shift on Thursday night? Ryan (waiter): Oh, uh... I was best man at my friend's wedding. The Luxor has that new wedding chapel. You get it at a discount if you use it on a weekday. I can give you a number if you ... Brass: (interrupts) Down, boy. (RYAN stops talking.) Brass: Thanks. Ryan (waiter): Sure. (RYAN picks up his tray of beer bottles and leaves.) Warrick: I kind of doubt that a clean-cut guy like Ryan is hanging out with snaggletooth Steve. Brass: No, but I'd bet somebody here was. (They look around the small café at the other waiters.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MASLOW PARK -- DAY] (CATHERINE walks up to the balloon vendor. She shows him her I.D.) Catherine: Hi. Balloon Vendor: Hi. Catherine: You here every day? Balloon Vendor: Seven days a week, till the sun goes down. I got a wife, a kid, and 2.3 dogs to support. Catherine: Do you recognize this man? Balloon Vendor: Oh, yeah. He was here a few days ago. A little bigger than my average customer. Catherine: Did he buy any balloons? Balloon Vendor: Four big reds. (Quick flashback to: FRANK MADDOX buys four big red balloons from the balloon vendor. End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: I'll take what he bought. (Cut to: CATHERINE sits on the wooden bench and ties the bag with the weight equivalent to the handgun to the balloons. She lets it go and the balloons easily carry the bag up into the air.) (She smiles. She knows how FRANK MADDOX was killed.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (GRISSOM, WARRICK, NICK and SARA are back at the lab. SARA stands in front of the clearboard with the pen while the other stand around the lab table.) Warrick: We know Jansson's partner knew the customers at the restaurant. Nick: Education, employment history and a driver's license are required for all employees. Sara: I've made a timeline of Steve Jansson's illustrious life span. Places he's lived, the places he's been arrested-- you know, the highlights. Grissom: You find any commonalities? Nick: Well, Eric Shultz. Lives in the same neighborhood. (SARA draws a connecting line from ERIC SCULTZ'S picture to "RESIDENCE HISTORIES".) Warrick: Jose Cortez. Worked at the Wilson Street Grill from '93 to '94. (SARA draws another connecting line.) Nick: But the busboy, Kelly James -- not only went to the same high school, but graduated from the same juvie center. Sara: It's always nice when they come out worse than when they went in. Nick: (to GRISSOM) What do you think? That's our guy, right? Grissom: It's a connection. It's not enough to compel DNA. Sara: So we have nothing? Grissom: No, we have a name, and we know where he works. Nick: I'll find out where he was the night the Kirkwoods were invaded. (GRISSOM'S pager beeps. He checks it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY -- DAY] (The OFFICER leads SUZANNA KIRKWOOD down the hallway.) (SLOW MOTION to: SUZANNA looks up and sees another OFFICER leading a MAN in prison orange down the hall in the opposite direction toward her. The MAN in orange looks at her as they pass by.) (SLOW MOTION: SUZANNA sees a mother holding a distraught daughter in her arms as she cries. She sees a MAN in a tank top and tattoos leaning against the wall talking with a MAN in a gray suit.) (SUZANNA and the OFFICER turn the corner.) (Every step is difficult for her.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (BRASS stands with GRISSOM, SARA and a couple of LAWYERS. He glances at his watch.) Brass: Lineup's almost ready to go. Grissom: (to the LAWYERS) Listen, when she I.D.s Kelly James, we're going to need a DNA sample and an immediate hold, no bail. Public Defender: He's not a flight risk. Grissom: He's a risk. (The OFFICER turns the corner with SUZANNA. They join the group.) Sara: Hey, Suzanna. (Everyone is suddenly aware of her and the conversation stops. BRASS looks down and glances over at SARA. GRISSOM glances at SARA. SARA looks back at GRISSOM and their eyes meet. SARA turns to SUZANNA.) Sara: Um, why don't we go hang out until they're ready for us? We'll get a glass of water or something. (SARA leads SUZANNA away from the group.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (SARA and SUZANNA sit on the waiting room seats.) Sara: I'm really glad you decided to come today. (SUZANNA'S quiet as she stares at the air in front of her.) Suzanna Kirkwood: (softly) Do you ... you want to hear something stupid? Sara: Sure. Suzanna Kirkwood: My boyfriend and I had been talking about having s*x for a of couple months. I always said no because I was afraid that my parents would find out. (SARA doesn't say anything.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD sits in the hallway chair. GRISSOM turns the corner and walks toward him.) Grissom: Mr. Kirkwood, I'm sorry. The other day, I thought you were saying that you "wouldn't" help me, and now I realize that you 'couldn't'. Michael Kirkwood: (shakes his head) I never got a good look at them. (GRISSOM nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (BRASS walks up to SARA and SUZANNA.) Brass: We're ready. Suzanna Kirkwood: Can she come with me? Brass: I already cleared it with the Public Defender. (SARA looks at SUZANNA.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (GRISSOM sits down next to MICHAEL KIRKWOOD and listens.) Michael Kirkwood: She's 16. I only had two jobs left -- teach her to think for herself, keep her safe. I got one right. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Camera opens on SUZANNA who is having a difficult time with this. BRASS instructs her on the process.) Brass: Here's how this works: There are five guys in a line. We're going to ask each of them to step forward, turn to the side, and then face forward again. (SUZANNA nods.) Now, if you want a second look or you need more time, just let us know. When you're ready to make a decision, write it down on this piece of paper. (BRASS hands her a piece of paper.) Remember, you can see them, but they can't see you. Okay? (SUZANNA nods. She looks through the window to the other side of the room.) Suzanna Kirkwood: He already knows it's me. Sara: Suzanna, you can do this. I know you can. (SUZANNA shakes her head ... then gathers her courage and nods.) Suzanna Kirkwood: Okay. (BRASS and SARA take a step back.) Man: (over intercom) Number one, please step forward. (The first MAN steps forward into the light.) Man: (over intercom) Turn to the left. Step back. (He turns to the side, then steps back into the shadows.) Man: (over intercom) Number two, step forward. Turn to your left. (The second man steps forward into the light.) Michael Kirkwood: (V.O.) You know, people say ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] Michael Kirkwood: ... you never forget. Truth is... you do forget. And then you remember. It makes it worse. It was like, uh, it's like my brain ... doesn't know where to put it. (Quick flashback to: The door bursts open and the two men enter the house. One of them grabs the woman walking toward the door. He pushes her back into the hallway as she struggles and screams.) (Cut to: The two men push MICHAEL KIRKWOOD, hands tied behind his back, into the closet with LINDA KIRKWOOD. Sounds of crying and pleading in the background, echoing in his mind.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Michael Kirkwood: You know, it must've run through a million times in my mind ... somebody breaks in. I get a baseball bat. Get everybody out the back door. Call the cops. My family's safe. And I just stood there ... [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (SUZANNA stands in front of the window, visibly shaking at the ordeal. The voice over the intercom calls for the next man to step forward.) Man: (over intercom) Number four, step forward. (He steps forward into the light.) (Camera refocuses from SUZANNA'S reflection to the man standing beyond it. It's him. It's KELLY JAMES.) (At the sight of him, SUZANNA is frozen, trapped in her memories.) (Both BRASS and SARA can tell by her reaction that this is the MAN, yet they can't say anything.) Man: (over intercom) Turn to your left. (The MAN turns to face the left.) (Quick flashback of: The two men assaulting SUZANNA. Cut to: Her parents tied and trapped in the closet as they hear her screams.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (Camera holds on SUZANNA.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD talks and GRISSOM listens.) Michael Kirkwood: And when Suzanna was a little girl, Linda made me put those, um, the child-proof locks on all the kitchen cabinets. I complained. You know what she said to me? She said, uh, "The least we can do is make her safe in her own house." (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD looks down at his hands. GRISSOM'S heart goes out to the man.) Grissom: Mr. Kirkwood ... you didn't do anything wrong. (MICHAEL KIRKWOOD sighs.) (SUZANNA steps out stiffly into the hallway and walks toward her father. He gets to his feet and catches her as she cries.) Michael Kirkwood: (whispers) Baby. (He kisses her forehead and leads her aside.) Michael Kirkwood: Oh, it's okay, it's okay. Shh. (GRISSOM gets to his feet as SARA and BRASS turn the corner, his eyes on the KIRKWOODS. GRISSOM turns around as SARA and BRASS reach him.) Brass: She froze up. She couldn't do it. Sara: Her reaction should be enough. Grissom: (to BRASS) What do you think? Brass: (sighs) Well, we've got enough to hold this Jansson kid, but the other guy ... unless she writes a number down, there's nothing we can do. (SARA looks at GRISSOM and they share a look. SARA looks down while GRISSOM turns to look back at the KIRKWOODS.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM] (WARRICK removes his shirt just as CATHERINE walks into the room.) Catherine: Hey. I'm sorry to hear about your case. Warrick: (sighs) We were so close, you don't even know. Catherine: Well, he'll be back. We'll get him eventually. Warrick: Yeah. (WARRICK puts a clean shirt on.) Catherine: Want to go for a ride? Warrick: (nods) Probably safer than anything else I had planned. Yeah. (He closes his locker door and follows CATHERINE out.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. TIMMEL RESIDENCE -- DAY] (CATHERINE and WARRICK walk through the park as she explains her theory about the death and the gun.) Catherine: Frank Maddox - bad-ass bounty hunter on his way down. Loses his rep, loses his edge ... Warrick: Loses his manhood. Guess he thought he had nothing left to live for. Catherine: Except maybe one thing: Going out with his boots on. (Quick flashback to: [EXT. MASLOW PARK - NIGHT] FRANK MADDOX sits on the park bench and sets up the gun with the balloons.) Catherine: (V.O.) He picks a known hot spot, and waits until it gets dark. (He stands up and points the gun to the back of his head ... ) Catherine: (V.O.) Angles the gun down... (... and fires. He falls to the ground, releasing his hold on the gun and the balloons.) Catherine: (V.O.) ... and the balloons make it look like murder. (The balloons carry the gun up.) (Different angle on the balloons rising and the dead body on the ground.) (Various angles of the balloons carrying the gun up.) Warrick: (V.O.) On a windy night, a balloon can go for miles. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: Until ... (CATHERINE lifts up her glasses and looks closely at the tree where she sees the red rubber of the burst balloon.) (Quick flashback to: The weight of the gun pulls the worn balloons down into the tree where it bursts on the branches. The gun falls to the ground.) (Cut to: NATHAN TIMMEL walks into the back yard and picks up the gun. He looks at it.) Cue Sound: GUNSHOT. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Catherine: ... you leave the city to get away from crime, and guns fall out of the sky. (Long camera shot of CATHERINE and WARRICK standing at the base of the tree in the TIMMEL'S back yard.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- NIGHT] (GRISSOM sits at his desk reading and listening to Classical music on the player.) (Outside, we see BRASS walk through the hallway and stop just outside GRISSOM'S office door. He looks grimly at GRISSOM when he raises his head to look at him.) Brass: Get your kit. (Without waiting for a response, BRASS walks away. GRISSOM pauses for a moment.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. KIRKWOOD RESIDENCE - FRONT WALK -- NIGHT] GRISSOM and BRASS walk up to the crime scene. The OFFICERS there hold the crime scene tape up for them to walk under. As they approach the body on the sidewalk, the CORONERS push a gurney past them. On the other side of the crime scene tape standing in the front walk of the house are the KIRKWOODS. SARA stands next to them. The gurney passes by and GRISSOM sees SUZANNA KIRKWOOD lying in a pool of blood. GRISSOM stares at the body. Suddenly, he looks up and sees MICHAEL KIRKWOOD with his arms around his wife, LINDA -- both staring at their daughter's body. He shifts his gaze slightly and looks directly at SARA Their eyes meet and hold. There are just no words for this. Her tear-filled gaze breaks contact and shifts downward to SUZANNA on the ground between them. ANGLE ON: Camera moves slowly across a top view of the entire scene ... from the KIRKWOODS and SARA ... to SUZANNA ... to the OFFICERS working on the crime scene ... to GRISSOM standing unmoving next to his kit ... to the crowd gathering just beyond the crime scene tape. This is not just another crime scene. Suddenly, SARA moves. She lifts up the crime scene tape and enters the crime scene with her kit. However, without looking up, she walks by the body as BRASS watches her. GRISSOM looks down at SUZANNA. He kneels down next to her and begins to put on this gloves to get to work. The KIRKWOODS stand aside and watch. SARA sits quietly in the car, tears falling from her eyes as she watches the scene in front of her and SUZANNA on the ground. GRISSOM puts on his gloves. Camera holds on GRISSOM.

Grissom and Warrick investigate when the mummified remains of an old woman are found in a closet. This case soon turns out to be connected to Sara and Nick's case: breaking and entering that involved the rape of a teenage girl. Meanwhile, Catherine tries to connect a weapon found in a backyard to a murder that took place on the other side of town.

fd_The_O.C._04x04

fd_The_O.C._04x04_0

Psy's office Summer: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. Psy: I'm glad you came. What brings you in? Summer: Well, I've changed a lot since I got to college. New friends, new interests, new clothes. Psy: Well, that's perfectly normal. Summer: I know. But... I think throwing myself into all these new things is just a way of avoiding dealing with what happened to my friend...who, um... who died. Psy: Well, grief often comes in five stages. Summer: Yeah, but I haven't really been grieving. Why is this happening? Life is so unfair! I'd do anything to change things. Please, just name it, and I'll do it. Nothing matters anyway. But this is so not fair! I'm sorry, I have rage issues. I think she would want me to move on. So that's what I'm going to try to do. Psy: I'm proud of you, Summer. You've made astounding progress, and all in one week. Summer: It's kind of a relief in a way. Now I can go back to being me. Psy: What do you mean by that? Summer: Well, this whole save the planet thing, it was a crutch, right? And nothing against handicapped people, but crutches? Ew. Psy: A lot of people do change when they go to college. Summer: Well, not me. I love shopping, tanning and celebrity gossip, always have, always will. But I think I have to. If I ever want things to be good with my boyfriend again. Psy: Summer, just promise you'll take it slow. Summer: Totally. At the airport Ryan: Hey, man. Seth: Hey, dude, I know, three hour time difference, but, Ryan, she's going to dump me. Ryan: It's okay, I'm awake. Seth: Oh, good. Ryan, she's going to dump me. Ryan: No one believes that, all right? Summer loves you. Seth: The old Summer loved me. But new Summer is upon us, and Providence is the place that spawned her. Ryan: Summer is just dealing with what we're all dealing with, okay? She'll come around. Seth: What if she doesn't? This is my last shot. Otherwise, the girl with the violent temper and good hygiene is nothing but a childhood memory. [SCENE_BREAK] Seth: Careful, lady, my girlfriend's going to be here any second. Summer: Shut up, Cohen. Seth: Hey, you just punched me. My baby's back. Généric At the beach Sandy: You look good out there. Ryan: Thanks. Sandy: I got to get you on a surfboard. Ryan: Not a chance. Sandy: How about some breakfast? I could use some intel on Seth and Summer. Ryan: You know what, I can't, but, uh, I think they're doing all right. You know? Doing the long distance thing. Sandy: How about you? How are you doing? Ryan: Good, good. Better, once I get my first day of work under my belt. Sandy: Well, Pavo Guapo is lucky to have you working there. Ryan: Me, too. Sandy: Now I got an excuse to come by for your shrimp tacos. Ryan: Yeah, Kirsten warned me about that. You're limited to two a week. Sandy: Oh! I knew I should have divorced that dame. Ryan: Well, it's not forever. Sandy: You're still accepted to Berkeley for next year. I'm just glad you're getting back to your old self. You know? Back home again. New job. Ryan: I'm just trying to stay busy and earn some extra money. Sandy: And hook me up with some shrimp tacos. Ryan: Yeah, right. I'll work on that. I'm going to walk back. I'm kind of sweaty. Sandy: Yeah, I wasn't offering you a ride. Hey, Ryan? Hang in there. Brown's college - Summer's bedroom Seth: Wow, that was a lot better than what I was imagining on the plane. Summer: You were imagining it on the plane? Seth: Not like that. When you called me here, I was sure you were going to break up with me. Summer: Well, I know I'm not the one that usually apologizes in this relationship, but I'm sorry about everything. I turned into a liberal zealot just to distract myself from my own grief. I'm not even into all this stuff. Seth: So the old you is back? Summer: In all of my artificially tanned glory. Seth: Thank God 'Cause I was not sure that the new you and old me were really working. Summer: Yeah, the new me kind of smelled weird. Well, what would you have done if I didn't go back to being me? Seth: I had a plan to coax the old Summer out. The Valley, Season Three? Summer: Awesome! At Cohen's Kirsten: I checked on Ryan. Did he leave already? Sandy: Yeah. He seemed to be doing okay. I was hoping to hang with him while Seth is away. Poker, maybe shoot a little pool, but his new job is going to make that tough. Kirsten: Well, I could rack a few balls with you. Sandy: You are so smart and sexy and gorgeous. But sometimes a man just needs to hang with the guys. Kirsten: Well, that I'm not. Sandy: You know, Jimmy left, Caleb died, then Jimmy left again. Even Neil's gone. Look, I wasn't a pennant winner, but at least I had a bullpen, you know? Kirsten: It's baseball talk. I got it. Why don't you give Jason Spitz a call? You're always saying how funny he is. Why don't you ask him to do something? Sandy: Yeah, yeah... I don't know. I mean, it's a little weird for a guy to ask another guy to do something right out of the blue like that. Kirsten: Since when is Sandy Cohen afraid of acting weird? Sandy: Well, Spitz is pretty funny. He's allegedly a scratch golfer. He likes the Dodgers. I could live with that. Kirsten: It sounds perfect for you. Sandy: Yeah, but what am I going to do? I'm going to give him a call or what? Ask him out? Kirsten: Come on. Why don't you use some of that Sandy Cohen charm? I'm sure he won't be able to resist. Sandy: It's been a long time since I been out there, honey. What if Spitzy doesn't like me? Kirsten: Are you calling him Spitzy now? Sandy: No, not yet. Do you think he'll go for it? At Roberts' Julie: Well, that's very generous of you. Thank you, Neil. Bye. Kaitlin: So how's Seattle? Is that short, sassy lady still bossing Dr. Roberts around the hospital? Julie: Neil is fine. He's going to let us stay in the house as long as we want. Kaitlin: Well, nice work, Mom. Julie: I wish I could take all the credit, but it was actually Neil's idea. He's really very sweet. Kaitlin: Oh, you miss him. Well, don't worry. We'll find you another old dude to pay for all your stuff and cheat on you. Julie: Is that what I'm teaching you? Kaitlin: Mm, pretty much. Julie: Well, no more. Now that we have our housing situation handled, I am officially giving up men. Good one. Kaitlin: That'll last a week, max. Julie: I'll take that wager, young lady. And I'll make one with you. I will not so much as bat an eyelash at a man, and you will stay out of trouble. Kaitlin: You cannot live without a man. not even for a week. Taylor: Morning, roomies Anyone want a protein scramble? Julie: Nice to see you're making yourself at home, Taylor. Taylor: Well, thanks for making me feel at home, Jules. Summer's room is just adorable. And I don't know how I ever lived without a home gym. Kaitlin: Oh, this came for you today. Who's Henry Michael? Taylor: Uh... Oh, Henri Michel? That's just, um, my French husband. I'm sure it's nothing. Excuse me. Julie: You see? Man drama-- who needs it? Kaitlin: Hey, Ernesto's looking pretty hot. Nice six-pack. Julie: Where? Kaitlin: Gotcha. At Ryan's workplace Ryan: Taylor, hey. Taylor: Hi, Ryan. Are you working at El Pavo Guapo? You know, that means a handsome turkey? Ryan: That's why I took the job. Taylor: Hey, do you know when Seth's going to be back? I really need to talk to him. Ryan: Sorry, gone for the weekend. Taylor: You know, that shirt really brings out your eyes. Ryan: It's black. What are you doing here, Taylor? Taylor: Just in the mood for Mexican. Ryan: Mm-hmm. Taylor: Maybe the Macho Nacho Burrito wrap with extra guac. And... Oh, um, a favor. Ryan: No, no, no, sorry. Taylor: With Seth gone, you're the only one I can turn to. Ryan: Well, I'm honored. Taylor: Okay, so, I'm trying to get divorced, and I just found out that Henri Michel... Oh, that's my French husband. Um, he's coming to Newport and I know he's going to try and talk me out of it, and I could really use you there. Ryan: No. Taylor: I'm afraid to be alone with him. I'm afraid of his sensual powers. Ryan, the man is a sexual Jedi. Whatever he asks you to do, you just do it. It doesn't matter how depraved... Ryan: Okay, some people are trying to eat here, including me someday, so... Taylor: Ryan, please. If I go alone, I'll be back in France next week. You don't know how hard it was to leave. Seth and Summer are gone,my mom kicked me out, and... I have no one else. Look, just do me this one favor, and I'll leave you alone. Ryan: Promise? At Brown's college - Summer's bedroom Che: Knock, knock. Hey, Summer, can you fact-check this flier on solar panels? It's for the rally tomorrow. Summer: Che, I'd like to talk. Che: Sure, man. What's up? Summer: I haven't been completely honest with you about who I really am. This is my shoe collection. There's leather, suede, and the occasional calfskin boot. Che: Whoa, my friend. Summer: These are my magazines. I know which stars pump gas just like us, and who's on pump watch. And this is Marissa. She was my best friend, um, but she died in a car accident on graduation night. Che: Summer, I'm sorry. That's-That's really heavy. Summer: Yeah, well, it's so heavy that I couldn't deal, so... I put all my energy towards being an activist, but that's not who I am. These shoes and these magazines-- that's me, but I hope we can still be friends. Che: All I can do is be me, whoever that is. It's, uh... it's Dylan. The guy's a genius. Look, Summer, if you've found your place in this world, I am nothing but happy for you. Seth: Hey. I put some cream in your coffee. I figured you'd be back on dairy. Summer: Hey, uh, Che, this is my boyfriend, Seth. Seth, this is Che. Che: Summer, you have a twin flame. I wish I knew you were coming into town. I would have made you a bracelet. Seth: Oh, hey. Uh, where I come from, we just say hey. Che: Well, to borrow your native tongue, hey. Listen, forget what I said about the rally. We got plenty of warriors for the fight. You two, just... be. Summer: Thanks, Che. Seth: What's that? Summer: It's garbage. At Sandy's office Sandy: Hi, Jason. How you doing? Jason: I just had a meeting with Kaminsky. Sandy: Oh, the slowest talker in the world. It took forever. Forever. Jason: Good to see you, man. Sandy: Hey, uh... you got any plans this weekend? Jason: Sandy, I've been working the past six Saturdays. Sandy: No, no, I didn't mean that. I'm just saying that we could, you know, you and I, uh, we could do something. Jason: Do something? Sandy: Poker, pool, you know, a little small ball. If you're free. If not, no worries. Jason: Can I get back to you on that? Sandy: Oh, sure, yeah. Whatever. Brown's college - Summer's bedroom Summer: God, this is so disgusting. Seth: I don't know, I think you're being too hard on April. Derek's knee was... it was really messed up. Summer: No, I just... I don't like this show anymore. All they do is create fake problems for fake people just to distract viewers from the real problems in the world. Seth: Well, I don't think the network would go for a sexy teen soap set in the Damascus, but we can turn it off if you want. I just thought you liked it. Summer: I'm just distracted. I haven't been keeping up on how much blow Lindsay Lohan's doing. And did you hear about JT and Cameron? Seth: No, what? Summer: I don't know. That is the point. I'm going to go get one of my magazines. Seth: That sounds like the old Summer. I'm going to stay here and, uh, keep watching. You know, I have this thing where if I start something, I have to finish. Is that like a disease or a condition? Summer: Don't really know, Cohen. I'm reading about who got lipo. Yatch club Ryan: You know, you might want to relax. Taylor: Distract me. Tell me about this, um, cage fighting. It's something that I've been meaning to get into. Ryan: Yeah? Yeah? Ask me another favor, I'll be happy to show you. Taylor: Oh, Ryan Atwood with a side of sauce. I like it. You're going to have to do better, though, 'cause right now all I ca think of is him, my husband, and his arms, his smell... making love in the barn in Burgundy. Ryan: Sounds like the perfect guy. Why would you want to divorce? Taylor: Well, despite being agnostic in most things, I do believe in true love. And this was not it. Well, back to you and your life. What is your favorite fruit? Ryan: Peaches. Taylor: Oh, he used to say my breasts were like two, soft... Ryan: Is that him? Taylor: No, that's... his lawyer. Lawyer: Madam. Ryan: Is everything okay? Taylor: No, not exactly. Ryan: What did he say? What's wrong? What's going on? Taylor: Oh, I just told him you were a soccer fan. Ryan: Oh. Yeah, I like soccer. At Brown's college - Summer's bedroom Seth: Sorry today was such a bust. Summer; What are you talking about? We totally cleaned out the mall. Seth: Well, you threw your smoothie at a lady on the street. Summer: Hey, that fur did not look faux. Seth: Yeah, I just feel like your mind is someplace else. Summer: My mind is on this adorable sweater right here. I'm going to try it on' with that bag we bought, because how cute would they look together? Now, if you don't mind, a little privacy. Seth: Well, I enjoy watching you take off your clothes, I'm sure I'll enjoy watching you put them on. Summer: Hey, this is a very intense process. Seth: All right, actually this is perfect. I wanted to head over to Thayer Street and do a walking tour of ethnic foods. I can't be moving here if the shwarma is not up to par. Summer: Well, bring me a kabob. Che: Hey, Summer. Summer: Che, hey, I wanted to know how the rally went. Che: We marched, we chanted, and along the way, we may have even opened up a few eyes. We'll see. Summer: Oh, that sounds great. Che: Yeah, Summer, what are you doing? Summer: Trying on a sweater. Hey, Seth and I are going to watch a movie here later if you want to come by. Che: No, I can't. We're prepping for tomorrow night's debate. Summer: Debate? Che: They agreed to grant us an audience with the dean, present our proposal. Only thing not powered by the fuel of the sun is our passion. Summer: Uh, well, tell everyone I said hi, and good luck. Che: Yeah, thanks. So do you like it? Summer: Huh? Like what? Che: The new sweater. Summer: No. Yatch club Kirsten: So you're really giving up on men? Julie: Men are to me, what Chardonnay is to you. One sip and I'm upside down on a chandelier. Kirsten: Not that you've ever done that. What's your point, Julie? Julie: I'm just trying to set a good example for Kaitlin, develop my own interests, maybe my career, that is, if you'd still have me as a partner. Kirsten: As I told you, New Matchis there for you whenever you want. Julie: Thanks, Keeks. I was hoping you'd say that. Okay, so, I have so many new ideas about expanding. I went online. I checked out some office... Oh, there's Taryn. Kirsten: Wow, she looks amazing. Did she have some work done? Julie: She's had something. Taryn: Kirsten, great to see you. Julie, I'm so sorry about Neil. I hope you plan to sue. You know, just because you aren't legal doesn't mean you're not entitled to some sort of... Kirsten: Oh, it's Sandy. Excuse me. Hi, honey. Sandy: Hey, guess what? Kirsten: I'm not good at guessing. Sandy: I'm going out. Kirsten: I'm jealous, with who? Sandy: Spitz! Spitzy to me. Kirsten: He called? Sandy: He called. Kirsten: How about that? How about that? Sandy: Maybe a little golf, maybe a drink after, watch the game. Kirsten: Golfing, game watching, suddenly not so jealous. Taryn: Thanks, but I don't think I'll be needing a dating service anymore. Julie: Really? I didn't know you were seeing anyone. Taryn: Oh, not someone... someones. Young ones. Men our age are so complicated. Young guys just like to have fun. And they are so grateful for a woman who knows what she's doing. Julie: Oh, so grateful, and limber. Taryn: Hey, a group of us are going out tomorrow night. You should come. Julie: Uh, I'm trying to be a role model. Taryn: Oh, mm-hmm. I'll call you. Kirsten: Did Taryn run off already? Mm-hmm. What's she doing? Julie: Him. Harbour Brad: Hey, Kaitlin! We got a guy who can hook us up with fake I.D.'s. It's awesome. Kaitlin: Yeah. I think I'll pass. Brad: You've wanted a fake I.D. since you were six. Eric: Yeah, come on. Brad: Yeah, and the guy's leaving town next week. Kaitlin: Well, where is he going? Eric: He's going to prison. Brad: Yeah, for fraud. Because he's awesome. Kaitlin: Look, you guys, I made a bet with my mom that I'd stay out of trouble. And this definitely sounds like trouble. Brad: Dude, not if we don't get caught. Eric: Dude, seriously. Brad: Yeah, dude, seriously. Kaitlin: Well, with a foolproof plan like that, how can I say no? [SCENE_BREAK] At Ryan's workplace Taylor: Garcon? Ryan: Ah! Taylor ! It's been a few hours since your last Macho Nacho. You must be starving. Taylor: I was thinking of the mol. And, um, one more tiny little favor. Ryan: Does it involve me standing around while you speak French? 'Cause I've already done that. Taylor: No, no, no. I actually just need your signature. You see, before I can get divorced, I have to have someone attest to my character. Ryan: That's in French. Taylor: It's just the usual boilerplate. You know, never been to prison- well, me, not you. Never been married before, no contact with livestock, blah, blah, blah. So I think I have a pen. Ryan: Uh, you know, actually, can I sign that after work? Just leave it here. Taylor: Sure. Yes, okay. Thank you very much. So you don't speak French at all? Ryan: No, why? Taylor: Well, it must have been really boring for you today. Sorry. Brown's college Che: Hey, Seth, man, what's up? Seth: Hey, I got some extra baba ghanoush. Che: Oh, baba ghanoush. No thanks, man. Seth: I'm all right. Where's Summer? I gave her a little time-out. It's not easy having house guests. Che: What?! I thought you guys were having this great day, purchasing luxury goods, and eating things with faces. Seth: Honestly, it could have gone a little better. I mean, you know, I support her, whatever she's into, but I really need this to work 'cause... Summer: The people have spoken! We are of one voice, one mind and one heart! Yeah! I will not sleep, I will not eat, I will not rest until this hypocrisy ends. Solar panels on all of our dormitories, or we revolt! Student: Who's with Summer? Yeah! All: Yeah! Yeah! Poolhouse Ryan: Hey, man, how's your French? Seth: Old Summer's been replaced by the real Summer, and she looks suspiciously like the new Summer. Ryan: So she's still in her "Go Green" phase? Seth: I don't think it's a phase, man. I think this is her life now, and it's obvious I don't fit in it. Uh, sorry, gotta go. Ryan! Hey, wait, I've got to talk to you about Taylor... what...? Brown's college Summer: Didn't mean to eavesdrop. Seth: It's okay. Summer: Well, I knew you were lying last night when you said nothing was wrong. Seth: Nothing is wrong; you're doing what people do at college-- discovering who you really are. Summer: Believe me, I am as surprised as you are. But I'm still going to shave my legs and wash my hair, and be the best girlfriend that I can. Seth: Well, you know, who can ask for more than that? Summer: Think of all the new subjects we'll have to talk about. Seth: I did explain the concept of recycling to you in tenth grade. Summer: See, there's lots of places where we could use your help, Cohen. Brown's college - Che's bedroom Che: Please come in. Enter. Seth: Hey... Oh! You're really nude. Why don't I... let me come back. Che: No! Wait right there. I have a gift for you. My song. Seth: Wow. Wow. That's really, uh... Anyways, listen, I kind of need your help. Che: Yeah, bro, one second. Uh, I'm actually really honored you would ask me. Seth: Oh, hey, that's cool, we can shake. We can shake. We can shake. And we're touching. Golf course Sandy: Oh! Fore! Jason: Yeah, hi. Sorry! Sandy: Rob, what are you doing? Jason: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bye. I'm sorry about that. My, my kid's got a rash. I got to go to the pharmacy after this. Sandy: Oh, sorry. Jason: Take another one. It was my fault. Sandy: No, no, no! You're up. I'll play it from the parking lot. Jason: I think I hit your car. It'd be an improvement. Sandy.. uh...You know, my kid doesn't have a rash. My wife's just calling, making sure I'm having a good time, you know, because I don't have that many guy friends anymore. Sandy: Who does? Who's got the time? Jason: I know, it's work, family, then more work, you know? When did it get so hard? Sandy: Well, when we were kids, all you had to do was ask, hey, want to play some ball? And we didn't have any cell phones. Jason: I turned mine off. I'm really sorry about that. Sandy: Oh! I'm so sorry, man! I'm so sorry. It's the office. I'm turning it off. Jason: I think I hit your car anyway. At Cohen's Kirsten: I love this space and I love the windows. Julie: Plus it's by the beach, so there'd be lots of foot traffic and eye candy, not that I'm looking. Kirsten: So I'll make an appointment for us for Monday? Are you doing anything tonight? Julie: No, Kaitlin's with the twins, working on a science project, so I have the night all to myself. Kirsten: Well, Sandy's out with a friend. Do you want to do something? I don't know-- takeout and a movie? Julie: Two women spending Saturday night at home together. I love it. How very Whatever Happened To Baby Jane. Kirsten: Go ahead, you can take it. Julie: No, that's okay. Just a sec. Hello? Taryn: It's Taryn. You joining us tonight? Julie: Uh, actually, I'm here with Kirsten and we were thinking about maybe... Taryn: Order in and watch a movie? Oh, honey, even with the wonders of elective surgery, you will only be this hot for so long. Have fun while you can. Julie, you still there? Julie: I'll call you back. Kirsten: Oh, I was just going to get some takeout menus. Do you know what you'd like to eat? Julie: Kirsten, I feel like I'm coming down with something. I'm not feeling so hot. Do you mind if I take a rain check on our girl's night in? Kirsten: Julie, did you just put on lipstick? Julie: What? No, uh... I'm just a little flushed. I'll call you. Parking Kaitlin: Okay, I think that's the guy. Brad: Kaitlin, what if he's packing heat? Kaitlin: Okay, you guys just stay here. Money. Got what we talked about? Man: In here. Great, so it's covered in lice and grease. Put your money in the hat and try and be cool about it. Kaitlin: You think it's my first buy? It's been a pleasure. Man: I'm available, by the way. Kaitlin: That's heinous. Nightclub Julie: I don't know about this, Taryn. It might be too soon. Taryn: Julie, I know how you feel. But there's one man who can always get me out on the dance floor. His name is Jose. Jose Cuervo. Have you met my friend Julie Cooper-- urban cougar. Ryan's workplace Taylor: Ryan! There you are. You know, I think there might be something wrong with your phone. I called you three times today. Ryan: Six, actually. Taylor: Oh, well, um, did you get a chance to look at that silly little document? Ryan: Yeah! I did. And I had a question for you. Um, what does that mean? Taylor: Oh, that's just lawyer speak. You know, just party of the first part, party of the second part. Ryan: So it doesn't say we had s*x, like, 30 times? Took me like five hours to translate that. Taylor: Sorry. Ryan: Yeah. Taylor: It's just that without the consent of my husband, the only way I can get a divorce is if one of us was unfaithful. I just didn't think you'd sign if you knew the truth. Ryan: Yeah, well, I've got a lot of half-eaten enchiladas to clear. Taylor: Ryan, I have to meet that lawyer at the yacht club tonight, and if I don't have this signed, I'm going to have no choice but to go with him to France and try to work it out with Henri Michel, face-to-face. Ryan: Which means you won't be able to keep coming here, which is a real shame. Taylor: Well, did you at least read this part where I said what a great lover you are? Ryan: Look, Taylor... this job, this is about all I can handle right now. You know? Taylor: I shouldn't have dragged you in to this. Ryan: Yeah, that's what I've been trying to say. Taylor: It's just that I...don't have anyone else. It's kind of why I married a Frenchman in the first place. I mean, my mom hates me. I don't really know my dad, and last year was the first year I ever had friends. All of a sudden, I'm by myself in a foreign country, and I meet this guy who says he loves me. He wants to take care of me and... and... One too many bottles of Chateau Margot and a view from the Eiffel Tower, and why not? That's how Tom wooed Katie. Why not me? Ryan: Well, look, I'm sorry you're going through all this. I'm just not the guy to help. Sorry. Brown's college Summer: Here they come. There you are. Che: Sorry we're late. Earlier today, a caterpillar entered my room. I'm happy to say a butterfly emged. Seth: Did you know that the amount of solar energy that touches the Earth's surface in 40 minutes is greater than all the energy required by the entire human population in a year? Summer: Yes, I did know that. Che: It's a thing of beauty, isn't it? Come on, friends. Man: Oh, the board only allows students in the town meeting. Do you go here? Seth: Uh, no... But I made this. Summer: Can you just make an exception? It's for the good of the Earth. Man: No, I'm afraid not. Seth: Well, it's cool, you go ahead. Summer: But it's your last night here. You can't spend it alone. Seth: Summer, everybody in there is counting on you, okay? I can amuse myself for a few hours. Summer: You're the best boyfriend ever. Seth: Go change the world. Ryan's workplace Sandy: Looks like you're going to get a chance to meet one of my kids. Hey, Ryan. Ryan: Hey. Sandy: I'd like you to meet Jason Spitz from work. Ryan: What's up? How you doing? Sandy: We're about to go in and watch the game, get a bite to eat. Can you join us? Ryan: Uh, you know, actually, I'm kind of beat. But you guys go ahead. Nice to meet you. Jason: Good to meet you. Sandy: I'll be inside. Yeah. Is everything okay? 'Cause I'm guessing not really. Ryan: I didn't get fired, I didn't punch any of my drunken customers, I'd say I'm great. Sandy: One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Eventually, it'll get easier. Ryan: Yeah, why, because I'll start to forget about her? Sandy: No, no. You're never going to forget about her. But... life goes on. Ryan: Not the same life. Sandy: No. But you're going to have to make this life work. Ryan: Yeah, but I do, you know? I got a job. I go there, I go home. I talk to as few people as possible. Sandy: If it were only that easy. Unfortunately for you, getting mixed up in other people's lives, helping them out of jams, it seems to be what you do, like it or not. I'd hate to see you turn your back on that. It'd be like rning your back on yourself. Come on, join us, would you? Get a little food, watch the second half of the game. Ryan: Actually, there's something I've got to do. Uh, you guys have fun. Sandy: All right. Ryan: All right. Nightclub Man: Cover's 20 bucks, just pay inside. Kaitlin: Let me do the talking, okay? Man: You got an I.D.? It's cool. Cover's 20 bucks, just pay inside. Kaitlin: Cool. Man: Sorry, boys, not tonight. Brad: What? Why? Kaitlin: I'm sorry, is there a problem with their I.D.'s? Because they're with me. Man: There's a problem with them. See, I have the right to refuse entry to anybody. And tonight that includes dorks and virgins. So just beat it, guys. Brad: Fine. Eric: Whatever, man. Brad: That blows. Come on, Kaitlin, let's go. Eric: Yeah, you can't go in there without us. Brad: Who's going to protect you? Kaitlin: See you guys later. Man: Need you to move aside, guys. Ryan's workplace Sandy: This is great. Watching the game, having a beer. For five minutes, the sky isn't falling. A chance to be stupid again. Jason: Here's to being stupid for five minutes. Sandy: Hey, honey. Kirsten: How's it going? Sandy: Great. Spitz just told me a story about how his kid's walked in on him and his wife when they were playing Strip Scrabble. Kirsten: Strip Scrabble? I'm glad things are going well. Sandy: Yeah. So how are you doing? You having fun with Julie? Kirsten: Well, Julie had a mysterious illness. So I'm home alone. I just finished watching a movie and I thought I'd check in. I love you. Sandy: I love you. Bye. Yatch club Taylor: I don't love him. I never did. I was just scared. Ryan: Sorry I'm late. You have that paper for me to sign? Lawyer: It won't be necessary. I may be a lawyer, but I'm also a Frenchman. I know love when I see it. I will inform Henri Michel. Taylor: Ryan, I... Ryan: Don't worry about it. Brown's college Che: We stand before you, an organized student body. We have a question. Where does this burden fall? Summer: Hey, sleepyhead. Seth: Hey. Summer: Hey. Seth: Did we win? Summer: Not yet, but Che suggested a filibuster, so it could go on all night. I think we got 'em. Seth: That's great. Summer: Yeah. When I showed them my cost benefit analysis chart, jaws actually dropped. Seth: Of course they did. There's all these old people in there that are actually listening to me. Me! It felt better than when I got 70% off that Marc Jacobs dress with the broken zipper. Seth: I wish I could have been there. Summre: Instead you slept in the hallway on your last night in Providence. Seth: I'm totally fine. Listen, go back in there and knock it out of the park. Summer: Was that a sports reference? Seth: Maybe. See, I know people can change. Poolhouse Ryan: Yeah? Taylor: Oh, I'm sorry. Were you asleep? Ryan: No. Taylor: Oh, well, then my timing is impeccable, as always. So I wanted to thank you. So I made you peach torte. Yeah, after I got married, Henri Michel made me take a cooking class. Um, I failed everything except tortes. Tortes I rocked. Ryan: Uh, well, that's great, but, um... Taylor: You're not a dessert guy. Okay. Well, um, I could make you lunch, or... dinner. I have to pay you back somehow. Ryan: I love dessert. Taylor: Okay. Fork. Ryan: Thanks. Taylor: Yeah? All right. Wow. Who would have thought, six months ago, you and I, sitting here, sharing a torte. Ryan: Not me. Taylor: You know, at graduation, in my commencement address, I said there's no one older than a high school senior, no one younger than a college freshman. It was one of the few parts that wasn't in Latin. And uh, it's true. Because I feel like everything I thought I knew, everything that I expected, is just kind of gone out the window. Ryan: Yeah, life is definitely unpredictable. Taylor: Yeah. But I guess I'm realizing that that could be a good thing. You know? Because it's exciting not knowing what's going to happen. Ryan: Taylor, this is a great torte. Really good. At the airport Seth: Can I have the next flight to John Wayne Airport, please? Man: 8:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. Seth: Come on. Brown's college - Summer's bedroom Machine: Hey, Summer. I know flying home early is your move, but I stole it. I just wanted to give you room to keep doing what you're doing, because I think it's pretty amazing. So if you don't hear from me for a while, it's not because I don't love you, it's because I do. End of the episode.

Summer realizes her new personality is just a new way of coping with Marissa's death, and Seth continues to support her. Ryan helps Taylor legalize her divorce. Meanwhile, Julie and Kaitlin attempt to stay out of trouble.

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[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Flashback Haley : Nathan don't! Nathan : I love you Haley : Nathan! Nathan! Nathan! Help me! Nathan : Haley! Haley! Haley! You okay? Oh, my God. Okay. Breathe, Haley. Just breathe. AT THE DOCTOR Haley : I was just trying to feel something. Like... alive, I guess. Doctor : And did that make you feel alive? Haley : No. But it made me want to. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : Julian, I thought we agreed we weren't gonna hang posters out here. Julian : I didn't hang a... AT CLAY'S BEACH HOUSE Quinn : What are you up to? Clay : I love your back. You know where we should go? Julian's movie premiere. Maybe we could talk Nathan and Haley into going. Might be good for her to get away. And then we... could... Quinn : Ski. Clay : Girls that can spell are sexy. Then we could stay up all night and... Quinn : F... U... Are terrible. Clay : I'm just insanely in love with you. As promised. Voice over : I wish I could tell you there was a magic cure, Haley. But depression is a singular struggle. Some people just wake up one day and feel a little better than the day before. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Jamie : Hi, mama. How you feeling? Haley : Come here. What was that you were saying the other day about wanting to see snow? Jamie : Well, aunt Brooke says it's snowy in Utah, and that's where Julian's movie is playing. And everyone's going. Haley : Everyone, huh? Jamie : Yeah. Haley : Maybe you should try this on. Yeah, I don't... I don't want your ears to get cold in the snow. Jamie : You mean we can go? Oh! I got to tell dad. Haley : Jamie. Jamie : Yeah? Haley : I love you. Jamie : I love you, too. Dad, we're going to Utah! IN UTAH'S HOUSE Jamie : Do you think there's rooms for all of us? Skills : Oh, yeah. I think there's room. Jamie : There's trees in the house and moose antlers. Julian : There's 12 of us. Only six bedrooms and a couple of couches. Skills : Dibs. Brooke : You had them lock the master, right? Julian : Don't worry. We're good. Skills : Hey, uh, you need some help drinking that? Lauren told me what you said about us being boys and all. I know we never really talked about it, but... It meant a lot to me. Mouth : Thanks, but... I just want to get back to the way we used to be, you know? Skills : Yeah, I feel that. Anyway, this trip 'bout to be insane. Plus, I get to rock my new coat I just got in L.A. Check this out. Mouth : Dude. No. OUTSIDE IN THE UTAH SNOW Jamie : Hey, everyone! Dad! Come on! Doesn't anyone want to play? Ugh. I think I got some in my mouth. Nahtan : As long as it's not yellow, I think you'll be fine. Jamie : Hey, dad, can we build a snow fort? Chase : I can build you a snow fort, buddy. Jamie : Okay, cool. Wait... how do we know you, again? Chase : I'm Chase. The bartender at Tric? Jamie : Whatever. You're no Grubbs. Guys : Retreat! Retreat! Brooke : Oh, you guys are so dead! IN THE HOT TUB Brooke : Are you excited about tomorrow night? Julian : Yeah. My dad says three things have to happen at this festival. The audience has to love the movie, we have to sell it, and I have to decide what's next. Brooke : Well, not to sound naive, but maybe you should just enjoy it. Jamie : Yeah. I'd just enjoy it. It's a good life. IN FRONT OF THE NIGHTCLUB Alex : Alex Dupré.? Man : Right. Maybe two rehabs ago. Back of the line. Hey, hold up. I like that coat, man. Skills : Oh, that's what I'm talking about, baby. Okay... him, him, and the ladies, they with me. Thanks. Not him. Man : Back of the line. Let's go. Skills : Nah, I'm just kidding. He with us, too. Man : All right. Come on, man. Hurry up. Skills : People love the coat, baby! Oh. Dang. ON THE FLOOR Clay : Stop worrying about her. Quinn : What? Clay : You're worrying about Haley. All right, look... she's with Nate. She's fine. Besides, I got you a few things. White wine. Quinn : Thank you. Clay : And a kiss, because my baby looks amazing tonight. And, last but not least, a spare key to the house, because you lose things. Quinn : I do not lose things. Clay : Look, just put it outside somewhere. Quinn : You know what? I'm gonna keep my white wine. And you can have your kiss back. But I don't need the key, because I don't lose things. Skills : Who want to dance? Quinn : I do. Chase : Where's your, uh, "boyfriend" tonight? Alex : I'm looking at him. Chase : You're the devil, aren't you? Alex : Why? Chase : Because you know I just broke up with Mia. Alex : So? Chase : So I'm taking off, devil Dupré. And I'm locking my door. Skills : She was sexy until she started dancing. Quinn : Lose the beat? AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Mia : How you doing? Grubbs : I gave this flower to Miranda. It's just another thing she left behind. Mia : Doesn't mean she doesn't miss you. Grubbs : There's just so much that I wish I would have said the last time I saw her. Mia : What did you say? Grubbs : Nothing. Mia : Then say it in here. You know, write one more great song. Let's finish this record. Grubbs : Then what? Mia : Well... if I was you... I'd start my tour in London. And I'd water that orchid. Grubbs. I know it feels bad now... but it's gonna get better. One more song. IN CLAY & QUINN'S ROOM Clay : It was a good night tonight. Whoa And now it's a better night. Quinn : I think you were right about me losing stuff. I seem to have, uh, lost my clothes. Clay : Where you going? Quinn : Now I've lost my way to the bed. Guess I'll just have to sleep somewhere else. Clay : No. She's good. She's good. IN ALEX & JOSH'S ROOM Josh : I made a place for you on the floor. Alex : Right. Shut up and scoot over. Josh : I thought maybe you'd end up in Chase's room. Alex : I tried. He locked the door. Josh : I know. I tried, too. Alex : Do you ever think about coming out? Josh : My dad's a football coach, Alex. And my mom... my mom's a football coach's wife. She loves this version of me... the leading man. So... Alex : Well... For what it's worth, if I was a mom, I don't think there could be any words that would ever make me stop loving my child. Unless, of course, those words were "mom and dad, I secretly made a s*x tape." Josh : It's amazing how much I hate you. IN NATHAN & HALEY'S ROOM Nathan : Jamie had a blast today. The guys built him a snow fort. I know that you came here just for him. I do. And I love you for that, Haley. Haley : Please don't think that I take that for granted. I'm so grateful for... who you've been through all of this. And how you've been. Nathan : There's no other way for me to be. You've saved me so many times. I worry that I've been selfish with you. That I've taken advantage of your strength and your selflessness... And that I've... I've broken you somehow. Haley : No, no. You haven't. You didn't. I just have a weight in my heart now that I didn't have before. It was lighter today, though. OUTSIDE Quinn : It's beautiful, isn't it? Haley : Yeah. It makes me think of mom. Quinn : She would have liked it. Haley : Yeah. Quinn : Well, you know mom believed in reincarnation, right? Haley : So I think we'll see her again. What do you think she'll be? Quinn : Different. I think she'll be an owl. A beautiful, majestic, sarcastic owl. Haley : I just wish she could be here again. IN THE SKILIFT Alex : I can't believe you actually locked your door last night. Chase : I can't believe you actually tried to get in. Alex : Would that be so bad? Chase : Says the girl who just wants someone normal and reliable. You said that at Tric. Alex : You were listening. Chase : Of course I was listening. I'm a bartender... manager. Alex : And almost pilot. I was listening, too. I'd crush out on you, and then you'd be gone. IN THE SNOW FORT Jamie : Hi, mama. Come on in. You like it? Haley : Oh, I do like it. This is great, buddy! Oh, my goodness. What do you like about it? Jamie : I like that it's quiet. It feels kind of safe in here. Haley : That's smart, kiddo. So, listen... I was thinking about going into town and buying a dress for tonight. What do you think? You want to, uh, get a suit for Julian's premiere? Jamie : Can I pick it out myself? Haley : Yes. Jamie : Okay. Haley : Okay. It's a really cool fort, Jame. Jamie : Yeah. IN UTAH HOUSE Quinn : Clay? "No cellphone coverage. Went to lunch at the diner on main. Come by, unless you've lost your appetite." Hot tub. Oh... beers... Key. AT THE RESTAURANT Clay : Why? Uh... What happened? Quinn : Key. Clay : She loses things. MAKING SHOPPING Jamie : Mama, I found my suit. Haley : Well, that is quite a suit of clothes. Jamie : I really like it. Can I get it? Haley : Yes. Absolutely. And you know what? Jamie : What? Haley : Your grandma would have loved you in this suit. Just no bullfighting, okay? Jamie : No problem. Bullfighting is caca del toro. Haley : Okay. Jamie : Hey, mama. You're pretty when you smile. I missed it. Haley : Thanks buddy. IN THE HOUSE ROOM Brooke : Are you ready? Julian : My whole life, my hair's been out to get me, like it resents my forehead for taking up too much room. Brooke : Stop. You look nice. Julian : Maybe I should wear a hat. Like a beret. Or a fez. Brooke : Hey. The movie is great. And you are great. And you look so handsome that we need to get out of this bedroom, or you're gonna miss your premiere. Julian : What would I do without you, Brooke Davis? Brooke : Well, for starters, you'd wear a fez. Not okay. Come on. Your dad and your destiny are waiting. AT THE PREMIERE Paul : Thank you. Welcome. Uh, when my son Julian called me and asked me if I wanted to make a movie with him, I thought it might be a nice chance to reconnect. But that was that was wishful thinking on my part, because I was gone so often while he was, uh, growing up that we never really connected in the first place. And that's a shame. Whenever I finish a movie, I... I have this expression... "Let's kick it out of the nest... and see if it flies." Well, son, we kicked you out of the nest. And it has been a pleasure watching you soar. I hope you all agree. Julian : I'll see you in a bit. OUTSIDE Alex : Julian. It's starting. Julian : Yeah, I know. I think I'm just gonna wait till it's over. Alex : Those were some nice things your father said about you. Julian : Yeah. Alex : You sure you don't want to come back inside? Julian : Yeah, but you should go watch it with an audience. I want you to see how good you are as an actor and a writer. Alex : I was in good hands. And everything's gonna be okay. You know why? Because it already is. Nathan: Opened with a s*x scene. Nice work, Polanski. Good luck explaining that one to the kid. Jamie : You're not watching it either, huh? Julian : Nope. Jamie : Were you grossed out, too? Come on. We should go get a drink. AT THE BAR Jamie : I don't get it. You made a movie with no animation, no stunts, no cars that transform into stuff, no aliens, and no rabbits. Julian : Yes, I did. Jamie : What the heck else is there? Julian : Romance? Jamie : I don't think anyone wants to see that. Julian : Yeah. I'm not sure anyone wants to buy it, either. Jamie : Here. It helped my mom. It's good luck. You're gonna need it. Julian : What do you know? You're 6, and you're drinking at a bar. Jamie : 7. Julian : Nice. Nice work, el borracho. AT THE PREMIERE Alex : I'll tell you something I am sure of. We're all afraid. Some of us find ways to hide that fear, and some of us don't. But we've all got "it," you know? And it's always there. Josh : And what's your "it," Elise? What are you afraid of? Alex : I'm not afraid of anything. I have you. Josh : You were good in that scene. I'm tired of being afraid. OUTSIDE Jamie : It's still packed in there, so at least nobody left. That's good, right? Julian : What's happening on-screen? Jamie : Hold on. I'll check. They're kissing. They've been doing a lot of that. Seriously, you could have used a robot or something. I think it's almost over. Julian : It is. Right about... Now. Jamie : They're clapping! They liked it! Come on! IN THE LIVING Paul : Good news. The screening went great, and we have buyers interested. The best of the bunch are on their way down. I got you a beer. Now, look... no matter what their initial offer is, I think we can get them up to $4 million. Julian : That sounds great. Paul : Just let me do the talking, all right? Julian : I won't say a word. Man : $2.5 million. Julian : Deal! Paul : 3. And a haircut for the kid. Man : Deal. Woman : Josh, this movie firmly establishes you as a leading man. You and Alex have amazing chemistry. Is it because you're together in real life? Josh : Well... actually, there's something everyone should know. We're not together. The thing is... I... I'm just excited about how many hot single women are gonna love this movie. OUTSIDE IN UTAH Guys : Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Nathan : Nice! IN THE SNOW FORT Brooke : Is this the V.I.P. snow fort? Haley : You don't have to check on me. I'm fine. Brooke : I'm not. I needed fresh ice... For my cocktail. OUTSIDE IN UTAH Guys : Jump, jump, jump. Skills : What's up? Damn, it's cold. Anybody seen my coat? Jamie : Bear! Do you think it's hibernating? Skills : Nah. I think it's just passed out. Okay, here's what you're gonna do. Take this ski pole and jab it real hard. Jamie : I don't want to hurt it. Skills : It's too dumb to get hurt. Trust me. Go ahead. Mouth : Ow! Son of a... Jamie : It talks! Aw, man. IN THE HOTEL ROOM Alex : You leaving? Josh : Yeah. Thought I'd fly to Denver. Alex : What's in Denver? Josh : My parents. We need to talk. Alex : I think that's a really good idea. Josh : I hope so. Josh : Anyway... I'll see you, Dupré? Alex : It's "Whitehead." Alice Whitehead. Josh : Alice Whitehead? That's a horrible name. Alex : Shut up. Anyway, I guess we all have our secrets. Believe it or not, I'm really gonna miss you. Josh : I'm gonna miss you, too... Alice. OUTSIDE IN UTAH Julian : It's pretty magical, isn't it? Brooke : It's so beautiful. This whole trip has been perfect. Julian : Well, I have to admit, I had a little help. Last night at the bar, Jamie gave me a gold star for luck. You want to see it? Brooke : Yeah. Julian : Oh, wait... that's not it. That's the engagement ring I got for you. Where did I put that thing? Everyone says that the next thing I do, the next choice I make is going to define me... my career... my life. Well... The next thing I want to do is ask you to be my wife and tell you how much I love you and how nothing else matters. When I look into your eyes, Brooke, I see the rest of my life. And I see it with you. Marry me, Brooke Davis. Brooke : Yes. Okay. I want to so much. Julian : I was hoping you were gonna say that. ON THE SNOW FORT Haley : Come here. Jamie : Oh, mom, you're squishing me. Haley : Oh, I'm sorry for squishing you. Let's go sledding. Do you want to? Jamie : Totally. I'll go tell everyone. Haley : Okay. Jamie : Dad, we're going sledding! Nathan : All right. You okay? Haley : No. But... I will be. IN THE HILL Nathan : What do you think, Calvin? It's a long way down. Jamie : Piece of cake, Hobbes. Let's do this. Jamie : It sure is a long way up, mama. Haley : No, it's just a hill. Come on. We'll climb it together. AT THE HOTEL ROOM Chase : You know, I don't think you're actually supposed to replace stuff in your hotel room. Alex : Oh, whatever. I'll be out of here soon, anyway. Think I might get a place of my own... maybe stick around a while. Chase : Sounds kind of normal and stable. Alex : There. Perfect. Well... almost. Say you'll go out with me, and then it will be. Chase : Okay. Yes. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : You know what I like best about the movie? Julian : What's that? Brooke : You get the sense that they're all gonna live happily ever after. Julian : They are. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Nathan : You okay? Haley : These aren't sad tears. They're happy tears. Nathan : All right, well, how about from now on, we do smiles for happy instead? What is it? Haley : I'm pregnant. I think it's gonna be a girl. Nathan : Oh, my... Haley : Nice work, daddy. AT CLAY'S BEACH HOUSE Clay : You're falling asleep. Why don't you go to bed? Quinn : I like it here. Clay : Yeah, I like it here, too. But you sleep like a rock, and you're too long to carry. Quinn : You're mean. You say I'm too long, and you say I lose things. Clay : But I also love you. And the truth is that without you, I'd be the one who's lost. Quinn : Nice save. I love you. Clay : I love you, too.

Haley tries to overcome her depression by joining Nathan, Jamie and the rest of the Tree Hill gang on a trip to Utah for the premiere of Julian's film. Julian's film is a huge hit, Haley discovers some good news, Julian takes a huge step in his relationship with Brooke, and Katie returns hurting both Clay and Quinn! This episode is named after an album by Wakey!Wakey!

fd_Dawson_s_Creek_04x08

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[Scene: The School Hallway. Dawson and Jack are walking down the hallway, when a student runs out in to the hall calling for people to follow him into the pool room.] Student: Everybody! The swimming pool! You've got to see what they did to the swimming pool. Student2: My! Joey: You don't see this every day. Mitch: What the hell is this? Principal: That's my boat... And my dog. Jack: Who could have possibly? Dawson: [Laughing] I should have thought of this. Joey: Dawson, while we do recognize your talent as a witty practical joker, I think that this is even out of your league. Principal: Chester. Come here. [Some students pull the boat to the edge and the dog hops off and walks up to Jack and sits down. Jack looks nervously down at the dog.] Principal: Do you know that dog, Mr. Mcphee? Jack: No. No. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The School Hallway. An announcement comes over the PA and as the students are called they walk out into the hallway.] Principal: [Over the P.A.] Will the following students please report to Principal Peskin's office immediately. Jack Mcphee, Zack Estrin, Dawson Leery, Dave Bussan, Pacey Witter. [Scene: The Principal's Office. There is a montage of Jack, Dawson and Pacey being questioned by the Principal and Mitch.] Principal: Process of elimination has made you one of the lucky 3 that I still consider to be a suspect in this crime. Now ,there's an easy way to do this, Mr. Witter, and there is a hard way. Pacey: Well, seeing as I have absolutely no idea what crime you're referring to, I'll probably take the easy way. Dawson: What, are you guys accusing me of something? Mitch: You know that you're the last person I would suspect of being responsible for a stunt like this, but you can also understand why we would have no choice but to bring you in. Jack: [Laughs] yeah. The dog fingered me. Mitch: We're on your side, Pacey, but we got to get to the bottom of this mystery. And circumstances require that we at least consider you as a possible suspect. Dawson: What circumstances would those be? Mitch: Well, given that you're my son, it, uh, follows that you would have access to my master keys to the school, thereby placing you on a rather short list. Principal: Mr. Witter, everyone in Capeside is aware of the rather sad fate of the late vessel true love, which, I believe, gave you access to the marine storage facility in the yacht club where my boat resided at the time of its boat napping, if you will. [Cut to Jack] Chester was taken sometime between 10:00 in the morning, when Mrs. Peskin let him out after breakfast, and noon, when she realized he was gone. So all you have to do is tell us where you were and who you were with yesterday morning. [Scene: Gram's Front Porch. Jack is outside the porch door banging on it and calling to Jen.] Jack: Jen! Jen, come on. Jen! Open the door. Jen: Oh. Oh. I'm still asleep. And this is a dream in which you're heterosexual. Jack: Yeah. These are for grams. Can you open the door, please? I got something way better for you. Jen: Really? Jack: Yes. Jen: What could possibly be better than a dapper, young lad bearing a floral arrangement? Jack: I talked to the guidance office. You know that community service, manual-labor thing you're supposed to be doing? Jen: Oh, yeah. Jack: I asked them if it was possible if you could fulfill your commitment by assisting me with my soccer team. Jen: And what'd they say? Jack: They said, "providing that kind of guidance for a kid "is exactly the kind of rehabilitating activity that your kind needs in order to mend her evil ways." Jen: Jack, I think I'm more qualified to pick up trash on the highway than mold impressionable young minds. Jack: Aw, come on. Look, I need you here. Every since Andie left, I've been barely getting by. I mean, the soccer parents have been completely unhelpful. And if that weren't enough, my star goalie broke his leg yesterday trying to jump off the roof of his house into his swimming pool. Jen: Ok. All right. You've sufficiently plucked my heartstrings. I'll do it. Jack: You're a goddess. Give these to grams when she gets back from church. Jen: Ok. Jack: Hey, I'll be back at 12:45 sharp to pick you up. Jen: Where are you going? I--I can make eggs. Um-- I got to, uh, I got to meet Drue at the hardware store. Jack: Why are you meeting Drue at the hardware store? Long story. It's a karma thing. Hey, I gotta run. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Mitch and the Principal are questioning Pacey to tell his tale.] Principal: You say you didn't pull this stunt. Fine. Convince me. Tell me everything, every single thing you did yesterday. Pacey: Yesterday. Now, let's see. Where was I? [Scene: Outside the Capeside Police Station. Joey and Pacey are standing together by her truck talking while waiting for Doug to come out.] Pacey: Where was I? Oh, yes. Right here. Joey: Hey, pace. Pacey: Mm-hmm? Joey: You are a pushover. You gave in. Pacey: No, I am not a pushover. I just felt the need to explore my options. Joey: Pacey, for 5 years, your brother has been nagging you about spending a day with him observing police policies, and you've always told him to just stick it. Then you take some meaningless career aptitude test, and suddenly you're watching the lost episodes of cop rock and taking him up on his dubious offer. Pacey: Well, don't you think I'd look sexy in a uniform? Hmm? Joey: Beside the point. Pacey: Oh, I don't think so at all. [Doug comes out waiting for him] Well, kiss me good-bye before I hit the rough-and-tumble asphalt jungle. Joey: I'll pray for you, sweetheart. Pacey: [Sighs] hi, Doug. Doug: Hey. Joey: Take care of this punk for me, will ya? See if maybe you can't straighten him out a little bit? Pacey: Straight isn't a really big part of Doug's vocabulary, you know. Doug: Yeah, that's funny. Hurry up. We gotta get going. [Scene: The Principal's Office. The Principal and Mitch are questioning Dawson about his whereabouts.] Dawson: Why are you staring at me like that? Mitch: When I got up yesterday morning, you weren't at the house. Dawson: Which proves that I kidnapped Chester? Aren't you guys working this whole, like, NYPD Blue angle a little hard? All right, um, in the morning, mom gave me a ride. [Scene: Outside Mr. Brook's House. Gale drive Dawson up to his house and Dawson gets out of the car.] Gale: Now, listen, get home as quickly as possible. I need you to find the keys to your dad's car, which I know you lost. Dawson: No, I had them. I had them here last night. After I went to the movies and before I went out, I took them with me. I think. Gale: Whatever. Just find 'em before he knows they're gone. Dawson: Bye. Gale: Have fun. [Mr. Brooks opens the door and looks out at Dawson.] Dawson: You summoned me. Mr. Brooks: I have a study where I keep my archives, all my papers. Needs to be cleaned out, sorted through. Dawson: Ok, but you're gonna have to pay me. Mr. Brooks: Excuse me? Dawson: I fulfilled my debt to you. I painted your house. I painted your fence. Your boat is fixed. We're even. It's over. So, I'll do this, but I'm gonna need some compensation. Mr. Brooks: No. [Dawson turns and begins walking away.] Mr. Brooks: All right. I'll pay you what you're worth. Very little. [Scene: The Principal's Office. The Principal and Mitch are questioning Jack about his Whereabouts and he begins his tale.] Jack: I was doing a project for chem. with Drue valentine. You know him. We had to go to the hardware store to pick up some supplies. [Scene: The Hardware store. Jack and Drue are walking down the aisle getting some of the pieces that they will need for their Chem. project.] Drue: I can't tell you how touched I am by the way you've reached out to me lately, jack. So moving. To be honest, I felt sure you held me at least somewhat responsible for that whole mess with your sister. Jack: Huh, whatever. Hey, you wanna go grab that paint? Drue: What paint? Jack: The paint. You know, for the project that we're doing. Come back to me, Drue. Look, all you gotta do is go get the paint and, um, and take this up to the register for me. Drue: Why can't you do it? Jack: Uh, one of the soccer goals on the field's falling apart. I gotta get some net, and if I don't fix it, nobody else will. Drue: Must be weird. Jack: What? Drue: Being selfless. [Scene: The Principal's Office. The Principal and Mitch are still trying to find out what they can from Pacey.] Principal: Where did you go with deputy Witter? Pacey: You mean my brother? Where do you think? [Scene: The local Donut Stop. Pacey and Doug are seated eating, yep, that's right, donuts.] Pacey: I'm shakin' my head in disbelief. Doug: Don't judge a book by its prologue, wise-ass. There's plenty more coming up fast, more than any episode of cops could teach you, believe you me. Pacey: Really? Doug: Mm-hmm. Pacey: Well, lemme brace myself for that. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Dawson is finishing up explaining what he was doing earlier in the day] Dawson: And that's it. I spent the rest of the morning alone in the study. [Door hinges squeak] [Inside Mr. Brook's house, he is looking through some of the stuff and comes across his yearbook, and as he pages through it he comes to Mr. Brook's picture in it and reads] Dawson: "Arthur Isaac Brooks. "Newspaper. Track and field. Aspiration to become a great Hollywood filmmaker." Oh, my god. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Dawson is still being questioned by Mitch and the Principal] Mitch: Dawson, I think it's time we discussed your infamous ninth-grade senior pact for a minute. Dawson: Dad, that was 4 years ago. Principal: Wait, what pact? Dawson: When I was in ninth grade, um, the seniors pulled a particularly lame prank. I think they graffitied the lockers and trashed the parking lot or something. It was embarrassing. And, uh, Pacey and I made a pact that when our time came, we would do it right-- the prank to end all pranks. We talked about it for years. Principal: So it was you! Dawson: No, it wasn't me. In case you haven't noticed, Pacey and I aren't exactly butch and Sundance these days. I didn't remember the pact until you sa— Principal: well? What is it? Dawson: I can tell you I didn't do it. I can't speak for Pacey. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Principal's Office. Jack is back in the hot seat. Mitch and the Principal are back to questioning him again.] Mitch: so, you picked up Jen at 12:45. Jack: Mm-hmm. I think so. Did I say that? Mitch: What time did you get to the park? Jack: Um, I don't know. It was, like, 1:35-ish. [Scene: The Capeside Soccer Field. Jack is trying to set up the net as Jen is watching him to see what he is doing, but getting in the way at the same time.] Jack: Would you get your foot off the net?! Put your little doohickey— Jen: I got it. I got it. I got it. All right, piece of cake. Jack: All right, I gotta take care of something. [He walks off] Molly! Double time. Over here. [Jen tries to set up the net and gets herself tangled up and falls.] Jack: [Chuckles] jeez. Jen: I'm just fine. Molly: What'd I do? Jack: Nothing, nothing. Relax. Deflate. Molly: What do you want? Jack: Well, I've got some good news. After a careful review of all the players on the team, I have decided to offer you the position of goalie left vacant by Kip's injury. Molly: Offering? Like, take it or leave it? Jack: Yeah. Well, it's, uh, I mean, you know... Molly: In that case, thank you, but no, thank you. Jack: W-w-whoa. No, thank you? Wha— Molly: I'd really rather not. Jack: Yeah, but goalie is--is— Molly: I'm left halfback. I like left halfback. I'd like to stick with left halfback, ok? Please? Jack: Ok. [Molly goes off and Jen comes up to stand with Jack.] Jen: I like that kid. Jack: Funny. Jen: You know, she reminds me of me at that age. Jack: No, she knows if I put her in goal, boys are gonna torture her out of spite. Jen: Well, that's because kids like molly and myself tend towards the easier alternative, the one with the least opportunity for embarrassment rather than glory. Yeah. Unless, of course... Jack: Unless, of course, what? Jen: You get us really pissed off. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Now it is Pacey's turn to be grilled some more. Mitch and the Principal are still at it trying to figure out who did it.] Principal: Now, let's cut to the chase, shall we? My boat was quietly removed from the storage warehouse behind the yacht club sometime between 12:30 P.M. And 5:15. Records indicate that you are the only senior who had access to that particular warehouse. Pacey: And just what records might those be? Principal: I'll be asking the questions, Mr. Witter. Ok. Pacey: All right, I'll talk. But I gotta warn you, it's gonna be deathly boring. [Scene: Inside the squad car. Pacey and Doug are sitting silently on the side of the road as Joey drives by them and honks the horn.] Pacey: Doug? Doug: Yeah? Pacey: Do you ever find yourself sittin' out here at the edge of the highway in your squad car, you got your radar gun in hand, been out here for 4 hours in which only 3 cars have passed, all going under the speed limit, and wonder just what the hell happened to your life? Doug: Pardon me? Pacey: Well, seriously, man. Look at you. For all your Elliot Ness dreams and Harry Callahan aspirations, you're nothing. I mean, nobody. At best, you're the barney fife of this little podunk town. What's that? Doug: Does this diatribe have a point, Pacey? Pacey: I--no. No, not really. I'm just a little disconcerted by it all. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Once again Dawson is in the hot seat. They are still trying to find out everything he did the day before.] Principal: So, at 12:00, you were still at the Arthur Brooks estate? Dawson: Yes, I was. By 12:30, I was more than ready to get out of there. [Scene: Mr. Brook's House. Dawson is still going through the stuff stached in the study when there is a car horn from outside. Dawson grabs his coat and heads for the door.] [Car horn honks] Mr. Brooks: Where do you think you're going? Dawson: Oh, uh, home. I'm done for the day. Mr. Brooks: The hell you are. If you think you can take my money and wander off to spoon with your girlfriend, you're sadly mistaken. Dawson: She's not my girlfriend. Mr. Brooks: If you're not back here within 3 hours, you can forget about being paid. [Outside Gretchen is in the car waiting for Dawson. He goes and gets into the car with her.] Gretchen: Your mom was stuck at the restaurant. She asked me to get you. Dawson: Oh, so I'm a favor. Gretchen: I didn't say that. [Chuckles] so, what was that about? Dawson: Oh, it's about what a complete and total jerk he insists on being. [Scene: The Capeside Soccer Field. Jack is telling about the soccer practice from the day before.] Jack: [Voice Over] Jen's insight into the 10-year-old psyche seemed valid. And even though practice was ending and the kids had 2 hours of freedom before the game, I still wasn't ready to give up on molly playing goalie. Jack: Molly. Molly, come here. You get any orange wedges? Molly: One. Billy took the other one and smashed it into the ground. Jack: Yeah, Billy's a jerk. Molly: Just wait until I'm 17 and hot. He'll regret messing with me. Jack: Look, molly, it doesn't matter if you're 17 or you're 45. These guys aren't gonna respect you unless you make them. Molly: How do I make them respect me? Jack: Look, molly, you gotta prove it to yourself. Ok? If you do that, if you believe that you're just as good as they are, I guarantee you the rest is just gonna take care of itself. Molly: You find a goalie yet? Jack: Nah. Molly: Can I still have it? Jack: Yep. Molly: Fine. Bring it on. You know, you just totally pulled a fast one on me. But I'm gonna let it go because you're right. But that doesn't mean that I don't understand exactly what you just did. Just bring it. [Scene: Dawson's Back Yard. Gretchen and Dawson pull up to the house to see Drue sitting on the steps waiting for him.] Gretchen: Whenever I see that guy, I can't help but hearing the Darth Vader theme. Dawson: Ha ha ha. I'm making an effort. Gretchen: Not to be cruel, but why? Dawson: Kind of a karmic decision. Thank you for the ride. Gretchen: Just doing your mom a favor. Dawson: Ha ha. Right. [Dawson gets out of the car and she leaves. Dawson goes up to Drue.] Dawson: Well, speak of the devil. Drue: The devil appears. Dawson: So, Drue, what brings you to my humble abode? Drue: First I just wanted to extend my gratitude for last night. Dawson: Oh, well, you know... We met at the movie theater. Common decency dictates I lend you 5 bucks for popcorn and ask you to sit with me. The burger afterwards was your idea. Drue: Small to you, but significant to me. I'm just grateful to finally find at least one ally in this strange and eclectic hamlet. You may be my first. Dawson: Well...Heh. I appreciate the thought, but you didn't have to come all the way down here just to tell me that. Drue: Right. That's not why I'm here. You left these in my car, man. [He hands Dawson the missing keys] Dawson: Ah. Thank you. Thank--I-- you just saved me from, like, a solid hour of paternal lecturing. Drue: It was the least I could do. And as I said, you know, you reached out to the new kid. What goes around comes around. Dawson: That is so true. [Scene: Sidewalk in the middle of town. Pacey is walking behind Doug as they are walking to someone's house.] Pacey: Would I be out of line if I asked what we're doing? Doug: Somebody stole a dog. Pacey: How do you know it didn't just get lost? Doug: We don't. The owner found some footprints in the dirt. It might be the gardener, but either way, we have to find this dog because it is a very important dog. Pacey: So, wait, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Is this what you meant when you told me that I'd learn more from watching you than from any episode of cops? Wh--oh, come on. Don't tell me you're still angry at your little brother for that whole "wasting your life" shtick. I only sort of meant it. Honest. Doug: I want you to listen to me very closely because I'm only gonna say this one time. If you ever in your life care about anything as much as I care about being an officer in this town, I will be shocked. If you ever in your life are as good at anything as I am at being an officer in this town, I will be shocked. If you ever in your life presume to judge me again, so help me god, I will beat the ugly right out of you. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Pacey has just finished telling his tale to Mitch and the principal.] Mitch: So what you're telling me is that you were looking for the very same dog that you're suspected of having taken? Pacey: Mitch, you are a sane and reasonable man, and it is obvious that I'm not responsible for this whole fiasco, so why are we still here? Mitch: We're still here because a certain fresh detail has come to light which suggests that we must, at the least, account for all of your whereabouts yesterday. Pacey: You discussed my ninth-grade pact with Dawson. Principal: Oh, you remember the agreement, too, I see. Pacey: Well, of course I remember it. It was my idea. But did it ever occur to you that my not-so-close acquaintance-slash- former best friend has hinted or possibly even implicated yours truly only to divert suspicion from himself? Principal: Mr. Witter, justice is blind. If Dawson is responsible, we'll nail him... Just as we'll nail you. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Principal's Office. Dawson is being questioned about so much that he is beginning to question why he is still there.] Dawson: How is it possible that we're still doing this? Principal: I'll tell you how. Capeside high, a facility to which you have had intimate access, must've been trespassed upon sometime after 5:30 P.M. When the cleaning crew went home. There were no signs of forced entry, which implies an inside job. Dawson: Dad, I was home last night. You saw me. Mitch: At 10:00. Uh, just tell us about the prior 5 hours-- afternoon and evening, where you were, who you were with-- and I promise you we'll be done with this. Principal: We'll be done with this when I've got my man. [Scene: Mr. Brook's House. Dawson comes into the house to find Mr. Brooks sitting at the table eating his dinner.] Mr. Brooks: Well, well, well, I'm surprised to see you here. Dawson: Uh, you shouldn't. I work here. Mr. Brooks: I don't think so. Dawson: I thought we had an agreement. Mr. Brooks: We did. You broke it. You're fired. Dawson: On what grounds? Mr. Brooks: You were playing footsie with your floozy when you're supposed to be doing a job. I guess I forgot you're just a hormonal adolescent. Dawson: What do you possibly hope to gain by insulting my friend? Mr. Brooks: I don't give a damn about you or your lady, but I do care about having my generosity taken advantage of. Dawson: Look, just because you are alone and your life is full of abandoned dreams does not give you the license to inflict your pain on me. Mr. Brooks: How dare you presume to understand me-- who I am, where I've been, what I've done? Now get the hell out of here. Dawson: Fine. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Jack is back telling his tales of the day before.] Principal: Well, you can go. Jack: I can? Principal: Mm-hmm. Just as soon as you tell us where you were between 5:30 last night and 8:00 this morning. Let's just stick to last night after 5:30. Jack: Once again, as I've already told you, we had a game. It was our first playoff game. [Scene: The Soccer field. Jack is getting everything going for the practice before the game. Jen comes up to join him.] Jen: hey, jackers. Jack: Hmm? Jen: Militant peewee parents at 2 o'clock. [Some soccer dads come over to him and Jen leaves. Gus does all the talking for them.] Gus: Jack. Jack: Gus. Gus: We're hearing a strange rumor from our kids that you're gonna put the-- put that little girl in for kip as goalie. Jack: Yeah. It's not a rumor. That's a fact. Gus: Yeah, well, I'm afraid we can't allow that. Jack: That's ok. You don't have to allow it. I'm the coach. It's my call. Gus: Jack, I represent, uh, parents who kept their mouths shut when certain alarming personal details came to light. But, hey, this is not personal. This is soccer. So let me give it to you real straight, jack. You put the little girl in for goalie, we'll lose the game. We lose the game, you lose your job. Ok. Jack: Yeah. I'll take that under advisement. Gus, if you fellas don't mind, I'd like to warm up my team. Gus: Yeah. Jack: Good. Thanks. [They leave him and Jen comes back to join Jack.] Jen: Ooh. Looks like pat Buchanan's posse. Jack: You're not gonna believe this. Jen: What? Jack: They said they're gonna fire me if I keep molly on goal. Jen: Are you kidding me? Jack, what are you gonna do? [Scene: The Principal's Office. Pacey is continuing the tale of his day with his brother.] Principal: W-wait a second. You couldn't find the dog, so your brother made you get in the back of the car? I'm confused. Pacey: I was confused, too. It seemed so blatantly hostile, even for Dougie. Frankly, when he went in, I considered making a break for it. [Scene: The Squad Car. Pacey is sitting in the back seat waiting for Doug and we can see that he is upset having to sit back there.] Doug: Ok. All right. [Doug and a gentleman come out of the store to the squad car, and the gentleman gets into the front seat as Doug puts his groceries in the back seat with Pacey.] Doug: Well, mike, the guy in the back's not a perp. He's my little brother. Mike: How goes it, junior Witter? Pacey: It's been better. [They arrive at Mike's House and Mike gets out of the car and starts to walk towards the door and Doug gets his groceries out of the back seat. Pacey looks to see Mike take a collapsible walking cane out of his pocket and set it up so that he can make his way the rest of the way to the door. Mike is Blind. You can see the guilt wash over Pacey's face.] Doug: Why are you looking at me like that? Pacey: Uh... No reason. [Scene: Mr. Brook's House. Dawson comes back to the house and goes in to the study to confront Mr. Brooks.] Dawson: [Voice over] An hour later, against my better judgment, I was back at the brooks house. Dawson: Today, when I was going through your things, I found your high-school yearbook. Underneath the picture, the caption said that your life's ambition was to become a Hollywood filmmaker. Uh, a pretty striking coincidence, given that I've had the exact same dream for as long as I can remember. Mr. Brooks: Good for you. Dawson: It scared the hell out of me. 'Cause I don't ever want to be like you. I don't ever want to be the kind of person who pushes everything and everyone away from him. I don't want to be alone. And I know that you don't want to be alone, either. You can't get rid of me, Mr. Brooks. What you say and do to everyone else, it might work on them, but it's not gonna work on me. So I'm back. And I'm gonna finish the job that I was hired to do. [Scene: The Soccer Field. Jack is watching the game unfold before his eyes and sees his team win.] Jack: [Voice over] Before I could even realize what was happening, it was over. Somehow we'd won the game. [Whistles blow] [crowd whoops and cheers] Jack: Come on! Hey! Whoo! Nice game, guys. Yeah, nice game. Good game. Congratulations, fellas. [Gus walks over to Join Jack] Gus: The kids played great. Jack, uh... Do you know anything about soccer? Jack: Yeah. My team's just won the first playoff game. I'd like to think I know something. Gus: Sure. Well, maybe you know that when a playoff game is tied, as our next game could be, a goal scored against us in previous games reflect on the eventual tally. Jack: Excuse me. Gus: If we tie the falcons on Wednesday, then the 3 goals that little girl let slip by will count against us. Jack: Well, then I'll just have to win that game against the falcons on Wednesday. Gus: That's where you're mistaken. You see, you can't beat the falcons on Wednesday, 'cause you're no longer the coach of this team. You're done, Mcphee. [Gus leaves and Molly has heard it all. Her eyes tear up and she runs away from Caroline.] Caroline: Molly! [A little later with Jack and Jen talking about what just happened.] Jen: They didn't. Jack: Yep. Yeah, they just did. [Scene: The Capeside Marina. Doug and Pacey come up to the closed gate of the Marina and Doug is shining his flashlight through the gate.] Pacey: [Voice Over] It was a little after 9:00 when we got the call, and Doug and I headed out to the boat yard. Pacey: You wanna go in, don't you? You know, I have the code. True love spent a couple nights in this motel, so I can just, uh... [Pacey keys in the code and the Gate opens and they walk in. Drue comes out from behind the boats.] Pacey: After you. Doug: Mr. Valentine, what brings you here skulking through the shadows at this hour of night? Drue: Anonymous phone call. Boat's missing. Doug: Now, why would someone call you? Drue: Well, they didn't, technically. They called my mother, and this falls under her jurisdiction, so she sent me out here to check it out. I called the police, which is why you are here now, deputy Witter. Doug: Except what you couldn't possibly know was that we also received an anonymous phone call roughly 20 minutes before your call, which begs the question, how do I know you didn't take the boat? Drue: Do you see a boat on me, man? I mean, you can frisk me if you want. I bet you'd like that. Come on, let's do the man dance. Well, ok. Well, then I guess I'm done, aren't I? [Drue Leaves and Pacey goes to follow after him.] Pacey: You know what? I think I'm gonna go, too, Dougie. Doug: Hey, Pacey, I can't drive you home now, all right? This is official police business. Pacey: That's all right. I'll get a ride with Drue. Hey, Drue, hold on a second. Doug: Hey, news flash, Pacey. You hate Drue. Pacey: Yes, I do, but it's only a ride home. And I'm trying to be a better person, just like you. Besides, it's a karma thing. Doug: Yeah. Good-bye. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Pacey is finishing up his tales of the day before. Mitch and the principal are taking in what he has told them.] Pacey: And that was it. Then I left with Drue. Principal: And where did you go? Pacey: Well, I wanted to grab a bite to eat. He said he was busy. He dropped me off at home. Within 25 minutes, I was sleeping like a baby. Principal: All right, Pacey. You can go. Thanks for your help. Sorry for the inconvenience. Pacey: Seriously? You're not just messing with me? Mitch: Get out of here, pace, before he changes his mind. [Pacey stands up] Principal: Something else, Mr. Witter? Pacey: Well, yeah, I was just thinking, honestly, I don't think Dawson did it, either. Principal: Why's that? Pacey: That guy's way too respectable to pull off that type of crime. At least not without my coaxing, you know? Just not that type of guy. [Scene: The Principal's Office. Dawson is about to leave and has decided to stop and tell Mitch and the Principal something] Dawson: Pacey might be cocky, but he's not an idiot. I mean, there's no way he would jeopardize his academic foothold for what was hardly the prank to end all pranks. Mitch: Ok. Thanks. [Dawson leaves.] Mitch: Well, Dave. Satisfied? Principal: Yes, Mitchell, I am. I'm very satisfied, indeed, considering that I know who did it. Mitch: Really? Obviously. Well, it's clear you don't watch inspector Poirot on A&E. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Principal's Office. Drue is in the Hot seat with his mother standing behind him. Mitch and the Principal are there to talk with him now.] Mrs. Valentine: There is neither rhyme nor reason that could account for your accusation that my son was a party to this practical joke. You gentlemen should be ashamed of yourselves. Principal: All right, Mrs. Valentine. If you're finished, I'd like to explain to you exactly how we know that your son was responsible for this debacle. Mrs. Valentine: Fine. This I have to hear. Principal: At 10:30 yesterday, your son was in Harry's hardware store purchasing a canister of white paint identical to the kind that was used to scrawl the words "class of 2001" on the sail of my boat. At 1:30, he was at the leery residence returning Mitch's keys, keys that could have easily have been copied earlier that day at the hardware store, giving Drue access to my school. At 9:30, he made one final appearance, this time at the storage warehouse behind the yacht club, under the pretense of having received an anonymous phone call. Your son was conveniently present at all the necessary moments, he acquired the means and resources to do the job, and he had the time to pull it all off... Without a hitch. Anything I left out, Mitch? Hey, that rhymes! Mitch: No, I, uh, think you've got it pretty much in the bag. Mrs. Valentine: You conniving brat. I should have known after last year's ferret incident. Principal: Well, Mrs. Valentine, one thing I've learned during my career as an educator is that, uh, children are fickle creatures. Mrs. Valentine: Does a week of suspension sound like a fair punishment to you? Principal: No. Try 2 weeks and, uh, probation for the rest of the year. You've got a history, Drue, that's proving to be quite telling. Ok, I think we're through here. Mrs. Valentine: Oh! Drue, get my purse. [Scene: The Capeside High Hallway. Drue is getting some books out of his locker as Joey walks by.] Drue: [Laughs] Hey. Harry potter. Come here. Joey: What's going on? Drue: Send a message to the boys for me. Tell them that I admire the brilliance of their design. No, wait. Just tell 'em I said touché. [Locker slams] Joey: which boys? What happened? Drue: Karma...Finally caught up with me. [Scene: Outside the Police Station. Pacey is waiting for Doug and holding a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.] Pacey: Look, I--uh, I just wanted to come by and say thanks for letting me do that whole ride-along thing yesterday. It was illuminating. Doug: Have you ever said anything that wasn't lined with sarcasm? Pacey: I'm admitting I was wrong, Doug. What you do, it matters as much if not more than any job I'll ever be able to hold down. Doug: Well, that's interesting, considering yesterday, you didn't think it mattered at all. Pacey: Well, now I think it matters. I mean, I know it matters to mike. I know it matters to some dumb kid you're gonna keep from killing all his friends in a car wreck when you pull him over for speeding and scare the crap out of him. And I'm guessing that it probably matters in a million other subtle ways that I, with the subtlety of an elephant in an antique shop, will never, ever notice. Doug: Yeah, well, if it wasn't me doing the job, it'd just be somebody else. Pacey: But it is you, Doug. It's you, and I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss that. I mean, to be perfectly honest, I should be so lucky to someday ride shotgun with you. Doug: I think that would be a mistake. Pacey: Hey, you don't think I'd make much of a cop, huh? Doug: No, not really, no. No. Pacey, I think that you're a daring original. I think you have a talent for flying in the face of conventionality, and I think that you were born to break the rules, not enforce them. And you know what? I actually admire that in you. I really do. Pacey: What? Did my big brother Doug just admit that he admired me for the first time ever? Doug: No, no, it's more like I'm just terrified at the thought of having to sit in that squad car with you for another minute. [Scene: The office at the Leery Fish House. Dawson is sitting at the computer looking something up on the internet when Gretchen walks in.] Gretchen: Whatcha doin', junior? Dawson: Ahh, this thing brooks said to me yesterday kinda got me thinkin'. I mean, as much as I'm claiming myself to be an encyclopedia of filmic history, it just occurred to me that maybe... Gretchen: Well, maybe what? Dawson: Maybe there's something I'm missing. [Gretchen looks over his shoulder to see what he is doing.] Gretchen: Well, maybe he used another name. You know, like Art or Artie or something. Dawson: What self-respecting artist would use "Artie Brooks" as their screen credit? Gretchen: I don't know. I mean, don't people sometimes use abbreviations or nicknames like... I don't know, chief, ace, doc... Really. Dawson: That great director, Chief Tarantino. Gretchen: Ok, now you're just being mean. Dawson: Hey, don't leave angry. [Scene: Jack's House. Jack opens the door to find Molly and Caroline standing outside the door.] Jack: Hey, Caroline, molly. Um, what's wrong? Caroline: Um, molly asked me if we could come and see you today. Jack: What is it, molly? Molly: I'm sorry I got you fired. Jack: What? Molly: [Sniffling] [Jack walks with Molly to sit on a bench] Jack: now, what would make you think that my getting fired had anything to do with you? Molly: [Crying] I heard-- I heard Billy's dad yelling at you after the game. And then today at school, they said if I would have stopped more goals, then you wouldn't have been... [Sobbing] I'm so sorry, jack. Jack: It's ok. Look, uh, molly... They fired me because they--they disagree with who I am as a coach, not you as a player. They knew I was right about you. They just couldn't admit it. And you knew it, too, didn't you? Hmm? Molly: Caroline said it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't believe her, because... Because I don't understand how anybody could fire you. [Sniffs] Jack: I'm confusing to people like Billy's dad. But we can't hate people because they're different. We just have to try and forget about them and--and just go on being the best person that we can be. [Scene: Dawson's House. Mitch opens the door to see Joey and lets her in.] Joey: Is Dawson here? Mitch: I'm not sure. You can check in his room if you'd like. Joey: Thanks. Mitch: Hey, Joey. If he is up there, tell him I know... And congrats. [She looks at him then walks up to Dawson's Room to see Dawson and Pacey putting Paint and some other items into a trash bag.] Joey: Ok, explanation time. [Jack comes climbing through the window.] Jack: It is a bitch gettin' up here without a ladder. Joey: Ahh. Jack: Joey. What's she doing here, guys? I thought that we were supposed to be doing this alone. Joey: I knew it. The three of you. You did it, didn't you? You guys put the boat in the pool. You did it! Pacey: Just calm down for a second. There's no reason to jump to silly conclusions. We didn't-- we didn't--we didn't pull the prank off. Dawson: We--we have airtight alibis. Jack: Yeah. Besides, we all know Drue did it. Dawson: On the other hand, if we had wanted to pull off the prank, the three of us, that is... Jack could have swung by the Peskins' sometime after he met up with Drue at the hardware store. He would have had time to leave the paint he "accidentally" took home and Chester the dog, with the necessary food and water, of course, tied up to a tree at a rendezvous point. Pacey: I could have gotten into the storage facility sometime after 1:30, when Drue dropped off the keys, Dawson: and before 3:30, when I had to get back to Mr. Brooks' house. Pacey would have given me the code... And I would have had the Mitch mobile to tow the truck back to the same rendezvous point jack had been to earlier. I then would have left the boat and car with Chester and the paint. Later on, Pacey could have asked Drue to drop him off somewhere near the rendezvous point. And, once arriving at the location, Pacey could have gathered up all the essential materials and then taken the whole production into the pool at the gymnasium to finish off the job. And by 11:00, we'd be done, and everyone would still be none the wiser. Of course, that's only a hypothetical. Pacey: Right. Jack: The truth is that Drue valentine is, was, and will always be the lone arch criminal behind it all. Well, I for one am glad to see that this kid finally got what was coming to him for so long. Joey: Karma. Pacey: Exactly. [Scene: In the middle of nowhere. Dawson and Pacey are burying the bag of stuff in the hole they dug in the ground.] [Shovel scraping] Pacey: what are you thinkin'? Dawson: I was thinkin' we pulled it off. Heh heh. Pacey: Ahh. I was thinkin' that something's been right tonight that hasn't been right for a long, long time. I just keep on forgetting why we're not still friends. Dawson: You know it's not that simple. Pacey: Course not. It's just that... Dawson: I know. Pacey: Let me tell you, Dawson, when you told me you'd never be able to trust me again, that was probably amongst the top 5 worst moments of my life. Dawson: When I walked out on my back porch and saw you and Joey, that was my worst. Number one with a bullet. Pacey: Do you think it's possible that someday I could convince you that maybe I'm the type of person that you could trust again? Dawson: I would like to believe that it is. Pacey: I gotta try. I'm not ready to give up on you. Dawson: Well, if it doesn't work out, we can always just kill each other.

Principal Peskin's sailboat turns up in the school swimming pool with the words 'Class of 2001' emblazoned on the sail in white paint. On board the boat is his dog, Chester, who was kidnapped the previous day. Dawson, Pacey and Jack are all prime suspects in the prank. Pacey is the only senior with access to the boatyard from where Peskin's boat was stolen, Dawson has keyholder access to the school through his father's job (and therefore would have the ability to get the boat into the pool after hours), and a nervous Jack attracts attention from Chester, as well as admitting to buying white paint. After their interrogations reveal seemingly air-tight alibis, another culprit surfaces and some poetic justice is dished out.

fd_Game_of_Thrones_01x03

fd_Game_of_Thrones_01x03_0

Still not far from Pentos, Your Grace. You'd be more comfortable there. I have no interest in hospitality or comfort. I'll stay with Drogo until he fulfills his end of the bargain and I have my crown. I have something for you. First lesson: Stick them with the pointy end. 17 years ago you rode off with Robert Baratheon. And now you're leaving again. I have no choice. There's great honor serving in the Night's Watch. The Starks have manned the Wall for thousands of years. And you are a Stark. Daenerys Targaryen has wed some Dothraki horselord. What of it? Tell me we're not speaking of this. I'll kill every Targaryen I get my hands on. Rapers. Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the watch ... You discard your old family and get a whole new one. Welcome. I don't think Bran fell from that tower. I think he was thrown. No! Someone tried to kill him twice. I would stake my life the Lannisters are involved. Lord Stark must be told of this. I will go myself. What is the meaning of this? Joff told us what happened. You and that boy beat him with clubs while you set your wolf on him. That's not what happened! Ahh! We found no trace of the direwolf, Your Grace. We have another wolf. As you will. He doesn't mean Lady, does he? Lady didn't bite anyone! She's good! King's Landing Page : Welcome, Lord Stark. Grand Maester Pycelle has called a meeting of the Small Council. The honor of your presence is requested. Eddard Stark : Get the girls settled in. I'll be back in time for supper. And, Jory, you go with them. Jory Cassel : Yes, my Lord. King's Landing Page : If you'd like to change into something more appropriate... Jaime Lannister : Thank the gods you're here, Stark. About time we had some stern northern leadership. Eddard Stark : Glad to see you're protecting the throne. Jaime Lannister : Sturdy old thing. How many kings' asses have polished it, I wonder ? What's the line ? The King sh1ts and the Hand wipes. Eddard Stark : Very handsome armor. Not a scratch on it. Jaime Lannister : I know. People have been swinging at me for years, but they always seem to miss. Eddard Stark : You've chosen your opponents wisely then. Jaime Lannister : I have a knack for it. It must be strange for you coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father too. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that. Eddard Stark : But you just stood there and watched. Jaime Lannister : 500 men just stood there and watched. All the great knights of the Seven Kingdoms. You think anyone said a word, lifted a finger ? No, Lord Stark. 500 men and this room was silent as a crypt. Except for the screams, of course, and the Mad King laughing. And later... When I watched the Mad King die, I remembered him laughing as your father burned... It felt like justice. Eddard Stark : Is that what you tell yourself at night ? You're a servant of justice ? That you were avenging my father when you shoved your sword in Aerys Targaryen's back ? Jaime Lannister : Tell me... If I'd stabbed the Mad King in the belly instead of the back, would you admire me more ? Eddard Stark : You served him well when serving was safe. Varys : Lord Stark. Eddard Stark : Lord Varys. Varys : I was grievously sorry to hear of your troubles on the Kingsroad. We are all praying for Prince Joffrey's full recovery. Eddard Stark : A shame you didn't say a prayer for the butcher's son. Renly ! You're looking well. Renly Baratheon : And you look tired from the road. I told them this meeting could wait another day, but... Petyr Baelish : But we have a Kingdom to look after. I've hoped to meet you for some time, Lord Stark. No doubt Lady Catelyn has mentioned me. Eddard Stark : She has, Lord Baelish. I understand you knew my brother Brandon as well. Petyr Baelish : All too well. I still carry a token of his esteem from navel to collarbone. Eddard Stark : Perhaps you chose the wrong man to duel with. Petyr Baelish : It wasn't the man that I chose, my Lord. It was Catelyn Tully. A woman worth fighting for, I'm sure you'll agree. Grand Maester Pycelle : I humbly beg your pardon, my Lord Stark. Eddard Stark : Grand Maester. Grand Maester Pycelle : How many years has it been ? You were a young man. Eddard Stark : And you served another King. Grand Maester Pycelle : How forgetful of me. This belongs to you, now. Should we begin ? Eddard Stark : Without the King ? Renly Baratheon : Winter may be coming, but I'm afraid the same cannot be said for my brother. Varys : His Grace has many cares. He entrusts some small matters to us that we might lighten the load. Petyr Baelish : We are the lords of small matters here. Renly Baratheon : My brother instructs us to stage a tournament in honor of Lord Stark's appointment as Hand of the King. Petyr Baelish : Mmm, how much ? Eddard Stark : 40 000 gold dragons to the champion, 20 000 to the runner-up, 20 000 to the winning archer. Grand Maester Pycelle : Can the treasury bear such expense ? Petyr Baelish : I'll have to borrow it. The Lannisters will accommodate, I expect. We already owe Lord Tywin 3 million gold. What's another 80 000 ? Eddard Stark : Are you telling me the Crown is three million in debt ? Petyr Baelish : I'm telling you the Crown is six million in debt. Eddard Stark : How could you let this happen ? Petyr Baelish : The Master of Coin finds the money. The King and the Hand spend it. Eddard Stark : I will not believe Jon Arryn allowed Robert to bankrupt the realm. Grand Maester Pycelle : Lord Arryn gave wise and prudent advice, but I fear His Grace doesn't always listen. Renly Baratheon : "Counting coppers," he calls it. Eddard Stark : I'll speak to him tomorrow. This tournament is an extravagance we cannot afford. Petyr Baelish : As you will. But still, we'd best make our plans. Eddard Stark : There will be no plans until I speak to Robert. Forgive me, my Lords. I had a long ride. Varys : You are the King's Hand, Lord Stark, we serve at your pleasure. Cersei Baratheon : Please, it's nearly healed. Joffrey Baratheon : It's ugly. Cersei Baratheon : A King should have scars, you fought off a direwolf. You're a warrior like your father. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm not like him. I didn't fight off anything. It bit me and all I did was scream. And the two Stark girls saw it, both of them. Cersei Baratheon : That's not true. You killed the beast. You only spared the girl because of the love your father bears her father. When Aerys Targaryen sat on the Iron Throne, your father was a rebel and a traitor. Someday you'll sit on the throne and the truth will be what you make it. Joffrey Baratheon : Do I have to marry her ? Cersei Baratheon : Yes. She's very beautiful and young. If you don't like her, you only need to see her on formal occasions and when the time comes, to make little princes and princesses. And if you'd rather f*ck painted whores, you'll f*ck painted whores. And if you'd rather lie with noble virgins, so be it. You are my darling boy and the world will be exactly as you want it to be. Do something nice for the Stark girl. Joffrey Baratheon : I don't want to. Cersei Baratheon : No, but you will. The occasional kindness will spare you all sorts of trouble down the road. Joffrey Baratheon : We allow the northerners too much power. They consider themselves our equals. Cersei Baratheon : How would you handle them ? Joffrey Baratheon : I'd double their taxes and command them to supply 10 000 men to the royal army. Cersei Baratheon : A royal army ? Joffrey Baratheon : Why should every lord command his own men ? It's primitive, no better than the hill tribes. We should have a standing army of men loyal to the Crown, trained by experienced soldiers... Instead of a mob of peasants who've never held pikes in their lives. Cersei Baratheon : And if the northerners rebel ? Joffrey Baratheon : I'd crush them. Seize Winterfell and install someone loyal to the realm as Warden of the North. Uncle Kevan, maybe. Cersei Baratheon : And these 10 000 northern troops, would they fight for you or their lord ? Joffrey Baratheon : For me. I'm their King. Cersei Baratheon : But you've just invaded their homeland, asked them to kill their brothers. Joffrey Baratheon : I'm not asking. Cersei Baratheon : The North cannot be held... not by an outsider. It's too big and too wild. When the winter comes, the Seven gods together couldn't save you and your royal army. A good King knows when to save his strength... And when to destroy his enemies. Joffrey Baratheon : So you agree... The Starks are enemies ? Cersei Baratheon : Everyone who isn't us is an enemy. Septa Mordane : Enough of that, young lady. Eat your food. Arya Stark : I'm practicing. Sansa Stark : Practicing for what ? Arya Stark : The Prince. Septa Mordane : Arya, stop ! Arya Stark : He's a liar and a coward and he killed my friend. Sansa Stark : The Hound killed your friend. Arya Stark : The Hound does whatever the Prince tells him to do. Sansa Stark : You're an idiot. Arya Stark : You're a liar. And if you told the truth, Mycah would be alive. Septa Mordane : Enough ! Eddard Stark : What's happening here ? Septa Mordane : Arya would rather act like a beast than a lady. Eddard Stark : Go to your room. We'll speak later. That's for you, love. The same dollmaker makes all of Princess Myrcella's toys. Don't you like it ? Sansa Stark : I haven't played with dolls since I was eight. May I be excused ? Septa Mordane : You've barely eaten a thing. Eddard Stark : It's all right. Go on. War was easier than daughters. Arya Stark : Go away ! Eddard Stark : Arya, open the door. May I come in ? Whose sword is that ? Arya Stark : Mine. Eddard Stark : Give it to me. I know this maker's mark. This is Mikken's work. Where did you get this ? This is no toy. Little ladies shouldn't play with swords. Arya Stark : I wasn't playing. And I don't want to be a lady. Eddard Stark : Come here. Now what do you want with this ? Arya Stark : It's called Needle. Eddard Stark : A blade with a name. And who were you hoping to skewer with Needle ? Your sister ? Do you know the first thing about sword fighting ? Arya Stark : Stick 'em with the pointy end. Eddard Stark : That's the essence of it. Arya Stark : I was trying to learn. I asked Mycah to practice with me. I asked him. It was my fault. Eddard Stark : No, sweet girl. You didn't kill the butcher's boy. Arya Stark : I hate them ! I hate all of them. The Hound, the Queen and the King and Joffrey and Sansa. Eddard Stark : Sansa was dragged before the King and Queen... And asked to call the Prince a liar. Arya Stark : So was I ! He is a liar. Eddard Stark : Darling, listen to me. Sansa will be married to Joffrey someday. She cannot betray him. She must take his side even when he's wrong. Arya Stark : But how you can let her marry someone like that ? Eddard Stark : Look at me. You're a Stark of Winterfell. You know our words. Arya Stark : Winter is coming. Eddard Stark : You were born in the long summer. You've never known anything else. But now winter is truly coming. And in the winter, we must protect ourselves, look after one another. Sansa is your sister. Arya Stark : I don't hate her. Not really. Eddard Stark : I don't want to frighten you, but I won't lie to you either. We've come to a dangerous place. We cannot fight a war amongst ourselves. All right ? Go on. It's yours. Arya Stark : I can keep it ? Eddard Stark : Try not to stab your sister with it. If you're going to own a sword, you'd better know how to use it. Old Nan : Don't listen to it. Crows are all liars. I know a story about a crow. Bran Stark : I hate your stories. Old Nan : I know a story about a boy who hated stories. I could tell you about Ser Duncan the Tall. Those were always your favorites. Bran Stark : Those weren't my favorites. My favorites were the scary ones. Old Nan : Oh, my sweet summer child. What do you know about fear ? Fear is for the winter, when the snows fall a hundred feet deep. Fear is for the long night, when the sun hides for years and children are born and live and die all in darkness. That is the time for fear, my little Lord, when the White Walkers move through the woods. Thousands of years ago there came a night that lasted a generation. Kings froze to death in their castles, same as the shepherds in their huts. And women smothered their babies rather than see them starve, and wept and felt the tears freeze on their cheeks. So is this the sort of story that you like ? In that darkness, the White Walkers came for the first time. They swept through cities and kingdoms, riding their dead horses, hunting with their packs of pale spiders big as hounds... Robb Stark : What are you telling him now ? Old Nan : Only what the little Lord wants to hear. Robb Stark : Get your supper. I want some time with him. One time she told me the sky is blue because we live inside the eye of a blue-eyed giant named Macomber. Bran Stark : Maybe we do. Robb Stark : How do you feel ? You still don't remember anything ? I've seen you climb a thousand times. In the wind, in the rain... A thousand times. You never fall. Bran Stark : I did though. It's true, isn't it... what Maester Luwin says about my legs ? I'd rather be dead. Robb Stark : Don't ever say that. Bran Stark : I'd rather be dead. Rodrick Cassel : Fewer eyes back here, my Lady. But still too many. Catelyn Stark : It's nine years since I've set foot in the capital. And no one knew who I was the last time I came either. Rodrick Cassel : My Lady. Guard : Welcome to King's Landing, Lady Stark. Would you mind following us ? Catelyn Stark : I would. We've done nothing wrong. Guard : We've been instructed to escort you into the city. Catelyn Stark : Instructed ? I don't know who's providing your instructions, but... Guard : Follow me, Lady Stark. Petyr Baelish : Cat ! Go on. Go upstairs. Catelyn Stark : You little worm ! You take me for some back-alley Sally you can drag into a... Petyr Baelish : I meant no disrespect to you of all people. Catelyn Stark : How dare you bring me here ! Have you lost your mind ? Petyr Baelish : No one will come looking for you here. Isn't that what like you wanted ? I'm truly sorry... about the locale. Catelyn Stark : How did you know I was coming to King's Landing ? Petyr Baelish : A dear friend told me. Varys : Lady Stark. Catelyn Stark : Lord Varys. Varys : To see you again after so many years is a blessing. Your poor hands. Catelyn Stark : How did you know I was coming ? Varys : Knowledge is my trade, my Lady. Did you bring the dagger with you, by any chance ? My little birds are everywhere. Even in the north. They whisper to me the strangest stories. Valyrian steel. Catelyn Stark : Do you know whose dagger this is ? Varys : I must admit I do not. Petyr Baelish : Well well, this is an historic day. Something you don't know that I do. There's only one dagger like this in all of the Seven Kingdoms. It's mine. Catelyn Stark : Yours ? Petyr Baelish : At least it was, until the tournament on Prince Joffrey's last nameday. I bet on Ser Jaime in the jousting, as any sane man would. When the Knight of the Flowers unseated him, I lost this dagger. Catelyn Stark : To whom ? Petyr Baelish : Tyrion Lannister. The Imp. Alliser Thorne : Grenn, show him what you farm boys are made of. If that were a real sword, you'd be dead. Lord Snow here grew up in a castle spitting down on the likes of you. Pyp. Do you think Ned Stark's b*st*rd bleeds like the rest of us ? Next ! Next ! Lord Snow, it appears you're the least useless person here. Go clean yourselves up. There's only so much I can stomach in a day. Tyrion Lannister : A charming man. Jeor Mormont : I don't need him to be charming. I need him to turn this bunch of thieves and runaways into men of the Night's Watch. Tyrion Lannister : And how's that going, Commander Mormont ? Jeor Mormont : Slowly. A raven came for Ned Stark's son. Tyrion Lannister : Good news or bad ? Jeor Mormont : Both. Grand Maester Pycelle : Lord Stark. I meant to give you this earlier. So forgetful these days. A raven from Winterfell this morning. Petyr Baelish : Good news ? Perhaps you'd like to share it with your wife ? Eddard Stark : My wife is in Winterfell. Petyr Baelish : Is she ? Petyr Baelish : I thought that she'd be safest in here. One of several such establishments I own. Eddard Stark : You're a funny man. A very funny man. Catelyn Stark : Ned ! Petyr Baelish : The Starks... Quick tempers, slow minds. Grenn : You broke my nose, b*st*rd ! Jon Snow : It's an improvement. Grenn : If we threw you over the Wall, wonder how long it'd take you to hit. Pyp : I wonder if they'd find you before the wolves did. Grenn : What're you looking at, Half Man ? Tyrion Lannister : I'm looking at you. You've got an interesting face. Very distinctive faces. All of you. Rast : What do you care about our faces ? Tyrion Lannister : It's just I think they would look marvellous decorating spikes in King's Landing. Perhaps I'll write my sister, the Queen, about it. Grenn : We'll talk later, Lord Snow. Jon Snow : Everybody knew what this place was and no one told me. No one but you. My father knew and left me to rot here at the Wall all the same. Tyrion Lannister : Grenn's father left him too... Outside a farmhouse when he was three. Pyp was caught stealing a wheel of cheese. His little sister hadn't eaten in three days. He was given a choice: his right hand or the Wall. I've been asking the Lord Commander about them. Fascinating stories. Jon Snow : They hate me because I'm better than they are. Tyrion Lannister : It's a lucky thing none of them were trained by a master-at-arms like your Ser Rodrik. I don't imagine any of them have ever held a real sword before they came here. Your brother Bran. He's woken up. [SCENE_BREAK] Petyr Baelish : The mere suggestion that the Queen's brother tried to kill your boy would be considered treason. Catelyn Stark : We have proof. We have the blade. Petyr Baelish : Which Lord Tyrion will say was stolen from him. The only man who could say otherwise has no throat, thanks to your boy's wolf. Catelyn Stark : Petyr has promised to help us find the truth. He's like a little brother to me. He would never betray my trust. Petyr Baelish : I'll try to keep you alive, for her sake. A fool's task, admittedly, but I've never been able to refuse your wife anything. Catelyn Stark : I won't forget this. You're a true friend. Petyr Baelish : Don't tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain. Cersei Baratheon : How could you be so stupid ? Jaime Lannister : Calm down. Cersei Baratheon : He's a child... 10 years old. What were you thinking ? Jaime Lannister : I was thinking of us. You're a bit late to start complaining about it now. What has the boy told them ? Cersei Baratheon : Nothing. He's said nothing. He remembers nothing. Jaime Lannister : Then what are you raving about ? Cersei Baratheon : What if it comes back to him ? If he tells his father what he saw... Jaime Lannister : We'll say he was lying. We'll say he was dreaming. We'll say whatever we like. I think we can outfox a 10-year-old. Cersei Baratheon : And my husband ? Jaime Lannister : I'll go to war with him if I have to. They can write a ballad about us : "The War for Cersei's c**t." Cersei Baratheon : Let me go. Jaime Lannister : Never. Cersei Baratheon : Let me go. Jaime Lannister : The boy won't talk. And if he does, I'll kill him. Him, Ned Stark, the King... the whole bloody lot of them, until you and I are the only people left in this world. Catelyn Stark : I wish I could see the girls. Eddard Stark : It's too dangerous. Catelyn Stark : Just for a moment. Eddard Stark : Until we know who our enemies are... Catelyn Stark : I know they did it, Ned. The Lannisters. In my bones, I know it. Eddard Stark : Littlefinger's right. I can't do anything without proof. Cersei Baratheon : And if you find the proof ? Eddard Stark : Then I bring it to Robert... And hope he's still the man I once knew. You watch yourself on the road, huh ? That temper of yours is a dangerous thing. Catelyn Stark : My temper ? Gods be good, you nearly killed poor Littlefinger yesterday. Eddard Stark : He still loves you. Catelyn Stark : Does he ? Eddard Stark : Off with you. Robert Baratheon : It's been a long time. But I still remember every face. You remember your first ? Barristan Selmy : Of course, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : Who was it ? Barristan Selmy : A Tyroshi. Never learned the name. Robert Baratheon : How'd you do it ? Barristan Selmy : Lance through the heart. Robert Baratheon : Quick one. Lucky for you. Mine was some Tarly boy at the Battle of Summerhall. My horse took an arrow so I was on foot, slogging through the mud. He came running at me, this dumb high-born lad, thinking he could end the rebellion with the single swing of his sword. I knocked him down with the hammer. Gods, I was strong then. Caved in his breastplate. Probably shattered every rib he had. Stood over him, hammer in the air. Right before I brought it down he shouted, "Wait ! Wait." They never tell you how they all sh1t themselves. They don't put that part in the songs. Stupid boy. Now the Tarlys bend the knee like everyone else. He could have lingered on the edge of the battle with the smart boys and today his wife would be making him miserable, his sons would be ingrates, and he'd be waking three times in the night to piss into a bowl. Wine ! Lancel. Gods, what a stupid name. Lancel Lannister. Who named you ? Some halfwit with a stutter ? What are you doing ? Lancel Lannister : It's empty, your Grace. Robert Baratheon : What do you mean it's empty ? Lancel Lannister : There's no more wine. Robert Baratheon : Is that what empty means ? So get more. Tell your cousin to get in here. Kingslayer ! Get in here. Surrounded by Lannisters. Every time I close my eyes I see their blond hair and their smug, satisfied faces. It must wound your pride, huh ? Standing out there like a glorified sentry. Jaime Lannister, son of the mighty Tywin... Forced to mind the door while your King eats and drinks and sh1ts and f*cks. So come on. We're telling war stories. Who was your first kill, not counting old men ? Jaime Lannister : One of the outlaws in the Brotherhood. Barristan Selmy : I was there that day. You were only a squire, 16 years old. Jaime Lannister : You killed Simon Toyne with a counter riposte. Best move I ever saw. Barristan Selmy : A good fighter, Toyne, but he lacked stamina. Robert Baratheon : Your outlaw... Any last words ? Jaime Lannister : I cut his head off, so no. Robert Baratheon : What about Aerys Targaryen ? What did the Mad King say when you stabbed him in the back ? I never asked. Did he call you a traitor ? Did he plead for a reprieve ? Jaime Lannister : He said the same thing he'd been saying for hours... "Burn them all." If that's all, your Grace... Daenerys Targaryen : Do the Dothrakis buy their slaves ? Jorah Mormont : The Dothraki don't believe in money. Most of their slaves were given to them as gifts. Daenerys Targaryen : From whom ? Jorah Mormont : If you rule a city and you see the horde approaching, you have two choices : pay tribute or fight. An easy choice for most. Of course, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes a Khal feels insulted by the number of slaves he's given. He might think the men too weak or the women too ugly. Sometimes a Khal decides his riders haven't had a good fight in months and need the practice. Daenerys Targaryen : Tell them all to stop. Jorah Mormont : You want the entire horde to stop ? For how long ? Daenerys Targaryen : Until I command them otherwise. Jorah Mormont : You're learning to talk like a Queen. Daenerys Targaryen : Not a Queen. A Khaleesi. Viserys Targaryen : You dare ! You give commands to me ? To me ? You do not command the dragon. I am Lord of the Seven Kingdoms. I don't take orders from savages or their sluts. Do you hear me ? Irri : Rakharo ask if you want him dead, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : No ! Irri : Rakharo say you should take ear, to teach respect. Daenerys Targaryen : Please please, don't hurt him. Tell him I don't want my brother harmed. Viserys Targaryen : Kill these Dothraki dogs ! I am your King ! Jorah Mormont : Shall we return to the Khalasar ? Rakharo : You walk. Benjen Stark : I wanted to be here when you saw it for the first time. I'm leaving this morning. Jon Snow : You're leaving ? Benjen Stark : I'm the First Ranger. My job is out there. There have been disturbing reports. Jon Snow : What kind of reports ? Benjen Stark : The kind I don't want to believe. Jon Snow : I'm ready. I won't let you down. Benjen Stark : You're not going. You're no ranger, Jon. Jon Snow : But I'm better than every... Benjen Stark : Better than no one ! Here... A man gets what he earns, when he earns it. We'll speak when I return. Yoren : A bear's balls. Tyrion Lannister : You're joking ? Yoren : And his brains and his guts, his lungs and his heart all fried in his own fat. When you're a hundred miles north of the Wall and you ate your last meal a week ago, you leave nothing for the wolves. Tyrion Lannister : And how do a bear's balls taste ? Yoren : A bit chewy. And what about you, my Lord ? What's the strangest thing you've eaten ? Tyrion Lannister : Do Dornish girls count ? So you roam the Seven Kingdoms, collaring pickpockets and horse thieves and bringing them here as eager recruits ? Yoren : But it's not all of 'em's done bad things. Some of 'em's just poor lads looking for steady feed. Some of 'em's high-born lads looking for glory. Tyrion Lannister : They have a better chance finding feed than glory. Benjen Stark : The Night's Watch is a joke to you, is it ? Is that what we are, Lannister ? An army of jesters in black ? Tyrion Lannister : You don't have enough men to be an army and aside from Yoren here, none of you are particularly funny. Benjen Stark : I hope we've provided you with some good stories to tell when you're back in King's Landing. But something to think about while you're drinking your wine down there, enjoying your brothels... Half the boys you've seen training will die north of the Wall. Might be a wilding's axe that gets them, might be sickness, might just be the cold. They die in pain. And they do it so plump little lords like you can enjoy their summer afternoons in peace and comfort. Tyrion Lannister : Do you think I'm plump ? Listen, Benjen... May I call you Benjen ? Benjen Stark : Call me what you like. Tyrion Lannister : I'm not sure what I've done to offend you. I have great admiration for the Night's Watch. I've great admiration for you as First Ranger. Benjen Stark : You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word "but" really counts. Tyrion Lannister : But... I don't believe that giants and ghouls and White Walkers are lurking beyond the Wall. I believe that the only difference between us and the wildlings is that when the Wall went up, our ancestors happened to live on the right side of it. Benjen Stark : You're right. The wildlings are no different from us. A little rougher maybe. But they're made of meat and bone. I know how to track them and I know how to kill them. It's not the wildlings giving me sleepless nights. You've never been north of the Wall, so don't tell me what's out there. Yoren : Are you going below ? Keep well, keep warm. Benjen Stark : Enjoy the capital, brother. Yoren : I always do. Tyrion Lannister : I think he's starting to like me. "Going below" ? Yoren : Into the tunnel and out the other side. He'll be north of the Wall for a month or two. Tyrion Lannister : So you're heading down to King's Landing too. Yoren : Day after tomorrow. I get about half of my recruits from their dungeons. Tyrion Lannister : Let's share the road. I could use some decent company. Yoren : I travel a bit on the grubby side, my Lord. Tyrion Lannister : Not this time. We'll be staying at the finest castles and inns. No one turns away a Lannister. Irri : Yes, Khaleesi. Daenerys Targaryen : What are you doing ? Irri : When was last time you bleed, Khaleesi ? You change, Khaleesi. It's a blessing from the Great Stallion. Jorah Mormont : For a man on horseback, the curved blade is a good thing, easier to handle. It's a good weapon for a Dothrakan. But a man in full plate... the arakh won't get through the steel. That's where the broadsword has the advantage. Designed for piercing plate. Rakharo : Dothraki don't wear steel dresses. Jorah Mormont : Armor. Rakharo : Armor. Armor make a man... Vroz ? Jorah Mormont : Slow. Rakharo : Slow. Jorah Mormont : It's true, but it also keeps a man alive. Rakharo : My father taught me how to fight. He taught me that speed defeats size. Jorah Mormont : I've heard that your father was a famous warrior. Rakharo : He was bloodrider to Khal Bharbo. And your father, Jorah the Andal ? He was a warrior also ? Jorah Mormont : He still is. A man of great honor. And I betrayed him. Irri : The Khaleesi wants to eat something different tonight. Kill some rabbits. Rakharo : There are no rabbits. Irri : Find some ducks, she likes ducks. Rakharo : Have you seen any ducks, woman ? No rabbits, no ducks. Do you have eyes in your head ? Do you ? Irri : Dog then. I have seen many dogs. Jorah Mormont : I don't think she wants to eat dog. Irri : The Khaleesi have baby inside her. It is true. She does not bleed for two moons. Her belly start to swell. Rakharo : A blessing from the Great Stallion. Irri : She does not want to eat horse. Jorah Mormont : I'll have the boys butcher a goat for supper. I need to ride to Qohor. Rhakaro : We ride for Vaes Dothrak. Jorah Mormont : Don't worry. I'll catch you. The horde's easy to find. Jon Snow : Don't stand so still. It's harder to hit a moving target. Except for you. You move too much. I could just hold my sword out and let you do the work for me. Maester Aemon : How many winters have you seen, Lord Tyrion ? Tyrion Lannister : Eight... no, nine. Maester Aemon : All of them brief ? Tyrion Lannister : They say the winter of my birth was three years long, Maester Aemon. Maester Aemon : This summer has lasted nine. But reports from the Citadel tell us the days grow shorter. The Starks are always right eventually : winter is coming. This one will be long and dark things will come with it. Jeor Mormont : We've been capturing wildlings, more every month. They're fleeing south. The ones who flee... say they've seen the White Walkers. Tyrion Lannister : Yes, and the fishermen of Lannisport say they see mermaids. Jeor Mormont : One of our own rangers swore he saw them kill his companions. He swore it right up to the moment Ned Stark chopped his head off. Maester Aemon : The Night's Watch is the only thing standing between the realm and what lies beyond. And it has become an army of undisciplined boys and tired old men. There are less than a thousand of us now. We can't man the other castles on the Wall. We can't properly patrol the wilderness. We've barely enough resources to keep our lads armed and fed. Jeor Mormont : Your sister sits by the side the King. Tell her we need help. Maester Aemon : When winter does come, gods help us all if we're not ready. Daenerys Targaryen : It's a boy. Khal Drogo : How do you know ? Daenerys Targaryen : I know. Jon Snow : I'm sorry to see you leave, Lannister. Tyrion Lannister : It's either me or this cold. And it doesn't appear to be going anywhere. Jon Snow : Will you stop at Winterfell on your way South ? Tyrion Lannister : I expect I will. Gods know there aren't many feather beds between here and King's Landing. Jon Snow : If you see my brother Bran, tell him I miss him. Tell him I'd visit if I could. Tyrion Lannister : Of course. Jon Snow : He'll never walk again. Tyrion Lannister : If you're going to be a cripple, it's better to be a rich cripple. Take care, Snow. Jon Snow : Farewell, My Lord. Syrio Forel : You are late, boy. Tomorrow you will be here at midday. Arya Stark : Who are you ? Syrio Forel : Your dancing master, Syrio Forel. Tomorrow you will catch it. Now pick it up. That is not the way, boy. This is not a great sword that is needing two hands to swing it. Arya Stark : It's too heavy. Syrio Forel : It is heavy as it needs to be to make you strong. Just so. One hand is all that is needed. Now you are standing all wrong. Turn your body sideface. So. You are skinny. That is good. The target is smaller. Now the grip... Let me see. The grip must be delicate. Arya Stark : What if I drop it ? Syrio Forel : The steel must be part of your arm. Can you drop part of your arm ? No. Nine years Syrio Forel was first sword to the Sealord of Braavos. He knows these things. You must listen to me, boy. Arya Stark : I'm a girl. Syrio Forel : Boy, girl... You are a sword, that is all. That is the grip. You are not holding a battle-axe. You are holding... Arya Stark : A needle. Syrio Forel : Just so. Now we will begin the dance. Remember, child, this is not the dance of the Westeros we are learning... The knight's dance, hacking and hammering. This is the Bravo's dance... The water dance. It is swift and sudden. All men are made of water, do you know this ? If you pierce them, the water leaks out and they die. Now you will try to strike me. Up ! Dead. Dead. Very dead. Come. Again, faster.

Ned attends the King's Small Council and learns Westeros has been poorly managed and deeply in debt. Catelyn travels to King's Landing to covertly warn her husband about the assassination attempt, but she is intercepted by her childhood friend, Councillor Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish. Bran learns he will never walk again and remains unable to remember the events leading to his fall. Jon struggles to adapt to life on the Wall. The once elite Night's Watch now recruits many low-born and/or convicted criminals who are unimpressed by Jon's bloodline. Lord Commander Mormont asks Tyrion to plead with the King to send more recruits to the Night's Watch. Daenerys, now pregnant, stands up to her brother, Viserys, threatening him if he ever abuses her again.

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fd_Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer_02x08_0

Prologue: In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer. Sunnydale High School at night. A man in a suit with a briefcase is walking past a school building at a brisk, determined pace. He stops for a moment and looks around. Behind him to his left a door opens, and a school custodian comes out with a trashcan. Custodian: Can I help you? Philip: Rupert Giles! I need to see him! Custodian: Mr. Giles, uh, he's our librarian. Next building over, first door on your left. Philip rushes off without a word of thanks. Custodian: (sarcastically) You're welcome. (dumps the trash) Philip continues at his brisk pace and finds the outside library door. He continues toward it, but stops in his tracks when he hears a twig being crushed behind him and turns to look. He hears a moan, but sees nothing and checks the other way again. Behind him he hears breathing and turns back again, and sees a woman in the shadows. Philip: Oh, God! Slowly she walks into the light. She is dead and rotting. Her eyes flash yellow briefly. Philip: Diedre? Diedre: Philip. Philip quickly backs up and doesn't see the curb behind him. He trips over it and falls, dropping his briefcase. He scrambles to his feet and runs to the library door. He pounds on it and yanks at the doorknob, but it's locked. Philip: Help! Help! Somebody, please! Diedre slowly advances on him. Philip: (to himself) God, no! (loud) Help! Cut inside. Buffy is doing step aerobics to a techno beat. Giles is sitting at the table with his hands to his ears, not relishing the music. He raises his head. Giles: (loudly over the music) Must we have this noise during your calisthenics? Buffy: It's not noise! It's music! Giles: I know music. Music has notes. This is noise. Buffy: I'm aerobicising! I must have a beat! Giles: (under the music) Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears. Cut outside. Philip is still pounding on the door. Philip: Help! Help! Please! Diedre continues to advance on him. Philip: Help me, somebody, please! Diedre has closed the gap. Philip turns to face her with horror in his eyes. She puts her hands up to the door on either side of him to prevent his escape. He trembles with fear as she moves her hands onto his neck and begins to choke him. Cut inside. Buffy has finished her aerobics. She strolls to the table and turns off her boom box. Giles: Ahhh! Very good. And the rest is silence. Cut outside. Philip falls from Diedre's grip, dead. A moment later Diedre collapses next to him. After she hits the pavement she disintegrates into a puddle of slime. The puddle spreads out and into Philip. Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~ A nightmare. Giles is flashing back to his youth. He has visions of rituals and tattooing. Young Giles: Time to go to sleep! (screams) A vision of a demon. Cut to Giles' bedroom. He wakes with a start. He looks around as he sits up in bed, concerned but relieved to find it was only a nightmare. Cut to school. The camera pans down from above a tree to Buffy and Willow sitting on a bench. Buffy: I'm on a beach, but not one of those American beaches, one of those island beaches where the water's way too blue, and I'm laying on my towel, and it's just before sunset, and Gavin Rossdale's massaging my feet! Willow: Oh, that's good! Uh, I'm in Florence, Italy, I've rented a scooter that's parked outside, and I'm in a little restaurant eating ziti, and there are no more tables left, so they have to seat this guy with me, and it's John Cusack! Buffy: Ooo! Very impressive. You have such an eye for detail. Willow: 'Cause with the ziti! Xander: (shows up) What are you two up to? Buffy: Just having a quick game of 'Anywhere But Here'. Xander: Ooohhh. Amy Yip at the waterslide park. Willow: You never come up with anything new. Xander: I'm just not fickle like you two, okay? I'm constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park! Willow: (to Buffy) Do you think Giles ever played 'Anywhere But Here' when he was in school? They see him coming toward them. Xander: Giles lived for school. He's actually still bitter that there are only twelve grades. Buffy: He probably sat in math class thinking, 'There should be more math. This could be mathier.' Willow: C'mon, you don't think he ever got restless as a kid? Buffy: Are you kidding? His diapers were tweed. Xander chuckles. Buffy sees Giles about to walk by and calls out to him. Buffy: Giles! Giles: (turns and sees them) Oh! There you are. (comes over) Buffy: Hey, morning. Say, is that tweed? (stares at his jacket) Giles: (preoccupied) What? Oh, uh, yes. Um, now, uh, look, tonight is very important, um... (heads inside) Buffy: (follows) Now, that's a surprise. Cut to the halls. They follow Giles to the library. Buffy: So, what's on tap tonight that's so important? Uprising, prophesied ritual, preordained deathfest? Xander: Ah, the old standards! Giles: Um, a medical transport is delivering the monthly supply of blood to the hospital. Buffy: Mm. Vampire Meals-On-Wheels. (stops at her locker) Giles: Hopefully not. Uh, we'll meet outside the hospital at 8:30 sharp. I'll bring the weaponry. Buffy: I'll bring the party mix! Giles: Just don't be late. Buffy: Have I ever let you down? Giles: Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare? Jenny: (finds them) Morning, England. Giles: Oh, hello, Ms., uh, uh, tuh, Jenny. Willow: (to Xander, smiling) Feel the passion! Xander: (smiles back) Mm-hm! Jenny: Willow... Willow: (coughs) Coughing, not speaking. (coughs more) Jenny: (to Willow) We still on for tomorrow? Willow smiles and nods. Xander: What's tomorrow? Jenny: I'm reviewing some computer basics for the couple of students who've fallen behind. Willow's helping out for extra credit. Xander: (chuckles) Those poor schlubs have to attend school on Saturday! (smiles) Jenny: 9am okay with you, Xander? Xander's smile fades. Willow bobs her head in amusement. Buffy: Got a bit of schlub on your shoe there. Xander: Heh, heh. Jenny: Well, Cordelia's gonna meet us. Xander: (dripping with sarcasm) Ooo, gang, did ya hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia! Mix in a little rectal surgery, and it's my best day ever! Jenny: (to Giles) Walk me to class? Giles: (a smile on his face) Pleasure. Jenny and Giles head for her class. The others watch them go. Buffy: Look at them. Xander: A twosome of cuteness. Willow: Can't you just imagine them getting together? Their expressions all change to ones of being grossed out. Cut to Giles and Jenny walking. Jenny: Oh! Thank you so much for loaning me the Forrester book. It's wonderful! Giles: Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Jenny: Yeah, it was so romantic, so evocative. Giles: That edition was my father's. I, I, I must've read it... twenty times. Jenny: Yeah, y'know how you have to, to dog-ear your favorite pages so you can go back to them? Giles: Uh, uh, uh, what? Jenny: Well, I mean, I-I practically had to fold back every single page. So finally I just, I just started underlining all the pages I really wanted to discuss. Giles: U-u-underlined...? Jenny: But then, of course, I spilled coffee all over it, I can't even read it... Giles: (can't believe it) It's a first edition! Jenny: I'm lying, Rupert. (smiles) The book's fine. (holds it up) I just love to see you squirm. (hands him the book) Giles: (smiles in relief) Yes, well, I, uh... trust I gave good... squirm. Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a fuddy-duddy? Giles: Nobody ever seems to tell me anything else. Jenny: Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy-duddy? Giles: Well, no. Actually that, that part usually gets left out. (smiles) I c-can't imagine why. Jenny: This weekend. Giles: Would you like to go out? Jenny: Mm, no, I think I'd like to stay in. They draw together for a kiss as the bell rings. They touch lips, but break it off as students begin pouring into the halls. Giles: Uh, this, (clears his throat) Saturday, then. Jenny: Saturday night. (clears her throat) I'll see if I can make you squirm. They look at each other for a moment before Giles heads off to his library. Cut to the library. Giles walks in to discover a detective and two police officers there. Det. Winslow: Rupert Giles? Giles: Yes? Det. Winslow: Detective Winslow. You're gonna have to come with me. Giles: Why? Det. Winslow: There was a homicide on campus last night. The victim had no identification, but he was carrying this slip of paper with your name and address on it. (holds up the slip in a baggie) Giles: (sets down his briefcase) My name? Cordelia walks into the library. Cordelia: Well, evil just compounds evil, doesn't it? First I'm sentenced to a computer tutorial on Saturday, now I have to read some computer book... There are books on computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books? Giles: (cuts her off) Cordelia, I'm a little busy right now. (points out the detective) Cordelia: Oh! Great! (steps up to Det. Winslow) Can you help me with a ticket? It's totally bogus. It was a one-way street. I was going one way. Giles: (raised voice) Cordelia! Cordelia: What?! Why does everyone always yell my name? I'm not deaf! And I can take a hint. (unsure) What's the hint? Giles: To come back later. Cordelia: Yeah, when you've visited decaf land. (leaves) Giles: (to Det. Winslow) Where do you want me to go? Cut to the city morgue. The coroner opens one of the body storage doors and pulls out the drawer. Attendant: Have you had your breakfast? Giles: No. Attendant: That was probably a good idea. He pulls back the sheet to reveal Philip's body. It's bruised all over, with two especially dark bruises on the throat. Giles looks down at him in recognition. Det. Winslow: Do you know him? Giles: (whispers) Yes. Yes. I-I mean, I did. His name's Philip Henry. He was a friend of mine in London. I... I haven't spoken to him in twenty years. Det. Winslow: Can you think of any reason why he might've wanted to contact you? Giles: No. He sees the tattoo on Philip's right arm near the inside elbow. Det. Winslow: Do you know what that is? The tattoo. Giles: (lies) No. No, I don't. Cut to the hospital ER entrance that night. Buffy is waiting on Giles. Buffy: (exhales) 'Don't be late.' Sheesh. She walks over to a pay phone to try calling, but stops when she sees the blood van pull up. The driver gets out with his clipboard as two ER doctors come out to meet him. Driver: Hey, fellas. Doctor: Hey. Buffy: All's well that ends with cute ER doctors, I always say. She watches them go to the back of the van and get out the insulated container. They start back with the driver, and he gets back into the van. Buffy realizes something's wrong. Buffy: Since when do doctors take deliveries? The van backs out of the ambulance slot. The doctors wave to the driver. Doctor: See ya. The van drives off, and behind it a car engine starts and a pair of headlights come on. The old convertible pulls up into the light as the doctors set the container down. One of them opens the lid, takes out a bag of blood and begins to suck on it. The driver of the car gets out. Driver: Hey! No sampling the product! The doctor vampire hisses, but puts the bag back down and drops the lid closed. Buffy runs to attack. She kicks the first doctor vampire down, then the second, and does a roundhouse kick to the driver's face. The first one gets up, and she tries kicking him again, but he grabs her leg and throws her onto the hood of the car. She scissor kicks him in the neck, and he staggers away and falls. A fourth vampire runs up as Buffy gets up and takes out a stake. She turns to attack him. Buffy: Angel! Angel: Buffy! Look out! He jumps up onto the car's hood and leaps off to tackle the driver vampire coming at her from behind. Angel punches him in the face, but he stays up. The second vampire jumps up onto the hood and swings at Buffy. She ducks the punch and jabs him in the chest. The first vampire jumps up on the hood, too, and Buffy knocks him back off with a punch to the face. She punches the second one in the face, too, and he falls down on the hood on his back. She jumps off of the car and thrusts her stake into the first vampire as he tries to get back up. The second one is off the car again and grabs her by the shirt from behind. She swings around with the stake and gets him in the chest also. Angel, in the mean time, roundhouse kicks the driver and sends him spinning into the car. The vampire quickly sits up in the driver's seat and floors it as Angel tries to chase him. The car races off, leaving Angel and the blood behind. Buffy opens the lid to check on it. Buffy: How did you know about this? Angel: It's delivery day. Everybody knows about this. They only ruined one bag. Buffy stands up and looks after the car, which is long gone. Angel kicks the lid back closed. Buffy: Do you think you could make sure the hospital gets the rest? She realizes whom she's just asked to do that and raises her eyebrows at him. Angel just nods, not insulted by the query. Buffy: Thanks. I'm worried about Giles. He was supposed to meet me here. Angel: Maybe he's late. Buffy: Giles? Who counts tardiness as, like, the eighth deadly sin? Angel: Right. Go. She gives him a final look and hurries off. Cut to Giles' apartment building. Buffy walks to his door and knocks. Giles opens the viewport and looks out at her, then opens the door. Giles: Buffy. I-it's late. Uh, are you alright? Buffy: I was gonna ask you the same thing. Giles: Yes, I'm fine, fine. Look, I'm, uh, I'm rather busy a-at the moment, so, uh, I'll see you on Monday at, at school. He starts to close the door. Buffy holds it open with her hand. Buffy: Giles, did you forget? The hospital, vampires, handy carryout packets of blood? Giles: Oh! Yes, uh, are you alright? W-were you hurt? Buffy: No. I mean, my feelings a little. What's wrong? Giles: Nothing, nothing, nothing's wrong. I-I'm just in the, uh, middle of something extremely important, and, uh, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say good night now. He closes the door in her face, leaving her confused and taken aback. She can hear Giles on the phone, but leaves him alone to his work. Cut inside. Giles: Yes, I'm, I'm sorry to disturb you. It's, uh... I-I realize it's, uh, five in the morning there, um... Uh, I-I'm trying to reach Diedre Page. My name is Rupert Giles, uh, uh, she knows me. It's, it's very important. (listens to the bad news) I'm terribly sorry. I... I-I didn't know. W-when did she, uh, pass away? (listens more) Ohhhh. That recently. (sits at his desk) Um, yes, yes, um, we were friends when we were young. My condolences. He hangs up the phone and stares off into space with his fingers to his lips while he considers and remembers. He takes off his glasses and reaches for his drink. The bottle next to it is in almost half empty already. He gulps the rest from the glass and sets it back down. He thinks another moment before grabbing his pen and crossing Diedre's name off of a list of five names: Thomas Sutcliff, Philip Henry, Diedre Page, Ethan Rayne, Rupert Giles. He gets up and goes into his bathroom to the sink in front of the mirror. He rolls up his sleeves, and on his left arm just above the inside elbow is the same tattoo that Philip had. He reaches into the sink full of water, cups his hands and splashes some on his face. He looks up at himself in the mirror. Giles: So. You're back. Cut to the city morgue. The camera slowly closes on the body storage drawers. Cut inside Philip's drawer. He reaches up and pulls the sheet off of his face. His eyes glow yellow. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~ The city morgue. The morgue attendant is going through some paperwork and checking on bodies. He opens one storage bay, checks the toe tag, and closes it. He does the same for the next one. Then he opens Philip's, and discovers him missing. Suddenly a body bag comes down over his head. He tries to struggle, but Philip is too strong for him. Philip forces him into the storage bay and slams the door shut. He slowly starts to make his way out of the morgue. Cut to the hall at Sunnydale High. Jenny, Xander, Willow and Cordelia head for the computer classroom. Cordelia: This isn't right. School on a Saturday. It throws off my internal clock. Xander: When are we gonna need computers for real life anyway? Jenny: Hmm, let's see. There's home, school, work, games... (unlocks the classroom door) Xander: Y'know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback. Willow: And the abacus. Xander: Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci. They all go into the room. Willow, Xander and Cordelia each take a seat in front of a PC. Cordelia takes the one next to Xander. Jenny: Alright, guys. The first thing we're gonna do is... Buffy! Buffy follows Jenny into the room. Xander: Huh? Did I fall asleep already? Willow: Aw, you miss your friends? Xander: Uh, sit here, Buffs! (stands up) Demilitarize the zone between me and Cordelia! Cordelia: Yeah, and delouse him while you're at it. Buffy: (to Jenny) Actually I wanted to talk to you for a second? Jenny: Something wrong? Xander: Is there some crisis that requires instant action? Very far from here? Buffy: It's Giles. Jenny: Well, he's alright, isn't he? Buffy: I don't know. Uh, he didn't show up when he was supposed to last night, and then, when I went over to his place, he was acting... well, very anti-Giles. He wouldn't let me in, and he looked really bad. I-I think he might've been... (doesn't want to believe it) I think he was drinking. Jenny: He was home alone drinking? Willow: But... tea, right? Buffy: Wasn't tea, Will. Xander: Yep, yep, I knew this would happen. Nobody can be wound as straight and narrow as Giles without a dark side erupting. My Uncle Roary was the stodgiest taxidermist you've ever met by day. By night, it was booze, whores, and fur flying. Were there whores? Buffy: He was alone. Xander: Give it time. Buffy: So, none of you guys have noticed anything different lately? Willow: No! Jenny: Not really. Buffy: Uh, you haven't seen anything weird? Xander: Nope. Cordelia: No, he seemed perfectly normal yesterday when I saw him talking to the police. Everyone stares at her. Buffy: And you waited till now to tell us this because...? Cordelia: I didn't think it was important. Xander: We understand. It wasn't about you. Jenny: Well, what were the police talking to him about? Cordelia: Oh, don't tell me, I know this one. Um... (thinks) Something about... a homicide. Buffy: That's it. I-I'm calling him right now. She goes to find a phone. Jenny rubs her head with worry. Cut to the library. Buffy heads for Giles' office when she hears something in the stacks and stops in her tracks to look. She sees a shadow move across one of the bookcases in the anteroom. She goes up the stairs and through the French doors. Slowly she walks down the main aisle, looking around and down each side aisle. As she passes one a man watches her search. Buffy keeps looking. He sees her through a gap in the books and puts his hands against the bookcase to push it over onto her. She looks up and sees it's Ethan, and dashes away just in time to avoid being crushed under the bookcase. Ethan tries to make his escape, but he's limping heavily and can't run. She grabs him by the arm and turns him around. Buffy: I know you! You were in that costume shop. Ethan: Oh, I'm pleased you remember. (tries to go) Buffy: (stops him) You sold me that dress for Halloween, and nearly got us all killed! Ethan: But you looked great. She punches him squarely in the jaw. Ethan: Owww! (straightens back up holding his jaw) So now we're even? Buffy: I'll let you know when we're even. What're you doing here? Ethan: Snooping around. Buffy: Honesty. Nice touch. Ethan: It's one of my virtues. (smiles) Not really. Buffy: I've got a great idea: why don't I just call the police and have you arrested for breaking and entering, and then I can get back to my fun Saturday? Ethan: Yes, the police. Well, they'll have all those questions, and they'll really need Rupert to answer them all. Buffy: You know Giles. Ethan: We go back. Way back. You don't happen to know where he is, do you? Cut to Giles' nightmare. The tattoo on his arm. Visions of a demon, of Diedre in her rotted state, of eyes glowing yellow. His phone rings. Cut to his apartment. He stirs at his desk and fumbles with the phone, managing to pick up the receiver. Giles: Hello. Buffy: (cut to her) Giles, it's me. Giles: (cut to him) (exhales) Buffy, u-unless this is an emergency, I'll see you on Monday. Buffy: (cut to her) What's the Mark of Eyghon? Cut to Giles. He is surprised to hear those words from her. Cut to the library. Buffy: Giles? Ethan: Cat got his tongue? Buffy: I'm in your office with someone who claims to be an old friend of yours. (cut to Giles) Ethan Rayne? Giles: He's there with you? Listen, Buffy, you're... you're in grave danger while Ethan's there. I want you to (cut to Buffy) put the phone down and get out of the library as soon as possible. Buffy: I'm not going anywhere until you give me some answers! Philip comes crashing through a window in Giles' office. Ethan steps behind Buffy and holds her in front of him. Giles: Buffy? Cut to Giles' apartment. He grabs his glasses and runs from his apartment. Cut to the library. Philip comes out of Giles' office and straight for Buffy. She kicks him in the chest and rolls over the counter. He comes through the door and at her again. Ethan climbs over the counter, too. Philip: Ethan! Xander comes in, followed by the others. Buffy: Don't let him get away! Xander pushes Ethan up against the counter, but gets pushed aside. The doors are held wide open by the women, and Ethan tries to make his escape past them, but Cordelia knees him in the crotch and he collapses. Buffy looks around for what to do with Philip and spots the open cage door. She backs toward it, then turns and makes like she's running in. Philip hurries to follow, but she sidesteps the door and kicks him into the cage as he runs by. She slams the door shut and locks it. Ethan is still lying in pain on the floor. Dissolve to later. Ethan is sitting in a chair at the table being watched by Buffy. The others observe Philip. Willow has seen enough and goes over to Buffy. Willow: I'm not gonna get close enough to feel his pulse, but... he looks dead. Xander: Except for the walking and attacking Buffy part. Ethan: He's dead. Sorry, Philip. Really I am. Giles barges into the library. Giles: Is everyone alright? Cordelia: Super! (proud of herself) I kicked a guy! Jenny: We're okay. Xander: Deadguy here interrupted our tutorial. (to Philip) Been meaning to thank you for that. Philip jumps at him, and Xander backs off. Giles walks over to have a look at Philip. Giles: It can't be! Ethan: Yes, it can. (Giles turns to him) Hello, Ripper. Giles: I thought I told you to leave town. Ethan: You did. I didn't. (Giles approaches him) Shop's lease is paid till the end of the month. Cordelia: (to Xander) Uh, why did he call him Ripper? Giles grabs Ethan by the hair on the back of his neck and lifts him out of his chair. Giles: You should've left when I told you. Cordelia: Ohhhh... Buffy: Giles?! Giles: You put these people in danger. The people I care about. Ethan: If you cared so much about them, why didn't *you* leave town? (pushes Giles' arm away) You've been having the dreams, I know. I have. We both know what's coming. Buffy: What dreams?! What is going on here?! Ethan: Tell her, Ripper. Buffy: Giles... Philip breaks the cage door and throws it open into Jenny, knocking her out. Xander quickly moves away and pushes Cordelia with him. Giles: JENNY! He scrambles to her aid. Buffy gets between Ethan and Philip and kicks him in the chest three times, forcing him back against the cage. He slides down to the floor, but gets back up and comes for Buffy again. Before he can reach her, his eyes go wide, he begins to convulse and he collapses to the floor next to Jenny. He disintegrates into a puddle of slime. It begins to spread out. Everyone stares. Willow: Now, there's something you don't see everyday. Cordelia: I'm gonna be in therapy till I'm thirty. Buffy: (looks around) Where's Ethan? (runs off) Where'd he go? The slime oozes its way to Jenny, and her hand stirs when it makes contact. She regains consciousness, and Giles helps her sit up. Giles: Are you alright, Jenny? Jenny: Ow! (cradles her head in her hand) Giles: Careful! Jenny: Ohhh... Giles: Can you stand? (helps her up) Jenny: I think so. Cordelia: This is what happens when you have school on Saturday. Xander gives her a look. Jenny: (unsteady) Mm. Giles: Lean on me. (pulls her close) It'll be alright. Jenny: (pulls away to look at him) Promise? Giles: I promise. Jenny: I believe you. She closes her eyes and leans on his shoulder, hugging him close. When she opens her eyes again they glow yellow like cat's eyes. [SCENE_BREAK] ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~ The library. Giles is at the table stroking Jenny's hair as she rests her head against her hand. Buffy comes striding back into the library. Giles: How's your head? Jenny: Throbbing. Buffy: I lost Ethan. Giles, what's going on? Giles: It's complicated, Buffy, and quite frankly, it's private. Buffy: I don't care from private! I care from dead guys attacking us. I care from you lost weekending in your apartment. Giles: I wasn't... I was just trying to find a solution. Buffy: Giles, share! What is the Mark of Eyghon? Giles: Hey! (stares her down) This is not your battle! And as your Watcher, (stands up) I'm telling you unequivocally to stay out of it! Buffy can't believe what she's hearing. Giles: I have to get Jenny home. (helps her up) Jenny: Mm. Thank you. She rests her head on his shoulder as the two of them walk from the library. Buffy goes over to the others sitting and leaning on the counter. Buffy: We have work to do. Will, I want you to find out anything and everything you can about the Mark of Eyghon. Willow: I'll try the 'Net, but 'Mark of Eyghon' sounds like Giles and his books sorta deal. Buffy: Then we hit the books. Willow heads up into the stacks. Buffy: Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find? Xander: I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath? Nah. (heads for the office) Cordelia hops off of the counter and smiles at Buffy. Buffy: (raises her brows) What? Cordelia: What about me? I care about Giles. Buffy: (thinks) Uh, work with Xander. Cordelia: Well, when I say 'care', I, I mean... Buffy: Cordelia... Cordelia: Okay, okay! (walks to the office) Buffy goes to do what she can to help, too. Cut to Giles' apartment building. Jenny: Thanks for bringing me here. (cut inside the apartment) Not quite ready to be home alone just yet. She accepts a drink from Giles. He walks around the couch and sits down next to her. She takes a sip of the drink. Jenny: Ooo! Giles: Jenny, uh... I'm so very sorry about all of this. (sets down his drink and takes off his glasses) I, uh... I never meant for you to be involved in, in, uh, any of this. Jenny: So I got involved. (leans forward) That's what happens when two people get involved. Giles looks at her and smiles. He starts to make a move in to kiss her, but stops himself. Giles: I really am, however, gonna have to get you home. It's not, uh... I'm not a very safe person to be around at the moment. Jenny: Nothing's safe in this world, Rupert. Don't you know that by now? She reaches up and strokes his head behind his ear. Cut to the library. Willow has found something. Willow: Ah! Aha! It's not Egyptian, it's Etruscan (goes over to Buffy with her book) mistaken for Egyptian by the design pattern, but any fool can see it predates their iconology. Look, the Mark of Eyghon, worn by his initiates. (reads) 'Eyghon, also called the Sleepwalker, can only exist in this reality by possessing an unconscious host. Temporary possession imbues the host with a euphoric feeling of power.' Buffy: Yeah, but what about non-temporary? Willow: (reads) 'Unless the proper rituals are observed, the possession is permanent, and Eyghon will be born from within the host.' Cordelia: I'm guessing eww! Willow: Wait. Hey, listen. 'Once called, Eyghon can also take possession of the dead, but its demonic energy soon disintegrates the host, and it must jump to the nearest dead or unconscious person to continue living.' Buffy: I still don't get what this has to do with Giles. Willow: I don't know about Giles, but ancient sects used to induce possession for bacchanals and, and orgies. Xander: Okay! Giles and orgies in the same sentence. I coulda lived without that one. Cordelia could've lived without Xander's comment. Buffy: Uh, wait a minute. The dead guy's all puddly now. Cordelia: So the demon's gone. There was no one dead to jump into. I mean, we're all not dead, right? Buffy: No, no one dead. Xander: But someone unconscious. They realize what happened. Cut to Giles' apartment. Jenny yanks the phone cord from the wall. Giles: What was that? Jenny: What was what? Giles: I thought I heard something. (comes out of the kitchen with tea) Jenny: I didn't. Giles: Here. (hands her a cup) Drink that, and then I'll drive you home. Jenny: (takes a sip) You could take me home. (sets the cup down) Or you could take advantage of me in my weakened state. Cut to the library. Buffy is on the phone. Buffy: Thank you, operator. (hangs up) There's no answer at Ms. Calendar's, and Giles' phone is out of order. I'm gonna go over there. (strides out) Cut to Giles' apartment. Giles: Jenny, uh... (moves away) I'm, I'm really very attracted t-to you. Jenny: Good. (follows) Giles: But, um, now really isn't the right time. (faces her) Jenny: Oh, there's never been a better time. She pushed him back onto a chair, climbs onto his lap and kisses him hard. He pushes her away. Giles: It's not right. I would be taking advantage. Jenny: (gets off) God, you just don't change, do you? (paces) Giles: What? Jenny: It's not right, it wouldn't be proper, people might get hurt. You're like a woman, Ripper. You cry at every funeral. You never had the strength for me. You don't deserve me. (whispers) But guess what? You've got me. (takes his head) (in a deep male voice) Under your skin. She grabs his hair and lifts him to his feet. She kisses him roughly. When she pulls back her face has started the transformation to Eyghon. Jenny/Eyghon: Was it good for you? She smashes his head into the phone on the desk. Jenny/Eyghon: Aw, you never had the stomach. But that's okay. 'Cause I'm about to rip it out! She pulls him back, and he cries out as he staggers backward into the bar and stumbles to the floor. Buffy kicks open the door and kicks Jenny/Eyghon hard in the jaw, sending her back over the couch and onto the floor. She gets up again and walks around the couch, eyeing Buffy. Buffy: Back off! Jenny/Eyghon: (stops and laughs) Three down, two to go. Be seeing ya. She runs and dives through the window. Buffy crouches down beside Giles. Buffy: Are you alright? Giles: Oh, Jenny! Oh, God! Buffy: Giles, how do we stop this? Giles: Oh, God, what have I done? Buffy: Talk to me! Giles, you're scaring me. Giles: I'm sorry. Buffy: Don't be sorry, be Giles. C'mon, we fight monsters. This is what we do. They show up, they scare us, I beat 'em up and they go away. This isn't any different! Giles: It *is* different. Buffy: Because you don't know how to stop it? Giles: Because I created it! Cut to the library. Xander comes out of Giles' office. Willow: Did you find anything? Xander: The most meticulous banking and phone records you've ever seen. And, um, this. He hands her a picture of a young Giles in a leather jacket playing an electric bass. Willow: (giggles) That's Giles? Cut to Giles' apartment. Giles: I was twenty-one, studying history at Oxford. And, of course, the occult by night. I hated it. The tedious grind of study, the... overwhelming pressure of my destiny. I dropped out, I went to London... (exhales) I fell in with the worst crowd that would have me. We practiced magicks. Small stuff for pleasure or gain. And Ethan and I discovered something... bigger. Buffy: Eyghon. Giles: Yes. One of us would, um... (nervously pours a drink) go into a deep sleep, and the others would, uh, summon him. It was an extraordinary high! (smiles nervously) God, we were fools. Buffy: You couldn't control it. Giles: One of us, Randall, he lost control. Eyghon took him whole. We tried to exorcise the demon from Randall, but it killed him. No. We killed him. We thought we were free of the demon after that. But now he's back. And one by one, he will kill us all. Buffy: Three down, two to go? Giles nods. Buffy: Then it's going after Ethan. (gets up) I better beat it there. Giles: (gets up) *We'd* better. Buffy: *I'd* better. Giles, you're barely mobile, and speed is of a serious essence here. Giles: (sits back down) I don't know how to stop it without killing Jenny. Buffy: I've got the guys working on it. I'll, um, try to contain it until we figure something. (starts to go) Giles: Buffy? (she stops) I'm sorry. Buffy: I know. (leaves) Cut to the street in front of Ethan's. Cut inside. Buffy opens the door and looks in. Buffy: Ethan? (comes in and closes the door) Ethan? (looks around) Giles told me everything. Look, it's coming for you. Ethan: (appears behind her) And you came to protect me? I'm touched. Buffy: Don't worry, it's nothing personal. To protect Giles I have to protect you. (walks past him) Ethan: How does Ripper inspire such goodness? Buffy: 'Cause he's Giles. Ethan: And I'm not. Still, lucky me. Buffy: Hmm. Lucky you. Ethan: Well, we can't run. Eyghon will find us. (shows his tattoo) This mark's like a homing beacon. Buffy: That's okay. I'm not much into running. Ethan: Aren't we manly? Buffy: One of us is. You're gonna hide till it's over. Ethan: Excellent plan. Buffy: Is there a way in through the back? Ethan: Uh, there's a back door. It's locked. I think it's solid. Buffy: We'll set up there. Let's go. Ethan: Oh, no, please. He indicates she should go first. She heads toward the back as he picks up a mannequin arm and hits her across the back with it, knocking her down and out. Ethan: Ladies first. ~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~ Ethan's shop. He's humming while he works. Buffy is lying face down on a table with her arms tied together underneath. She wakes up. Ethan: Wakey, wakey. You're missing all the fun. Buffy: What fun? Ethan: Your initiation. He sets down a tray of tattooing instruments. Buffy: You know what? I'm not real interested in joining your club. Ethan: Too late. I already voted you in. (she struggles) Y'know, I hope you're not taking this personally, Buffy. I actually kinda like you. It's ju, it's just that I like myself a whole lot more. If you think of it karmically, this is, this is really big for your soul. Buffy struggles with the rope. Ethan: You know, taking my place with the demon, giving so that others may live. Buffy: I'm gonna kill you. Will that blow the whole karma thing? Ethan: Sweet child. (takes the tattoo ink and needle) Now, this may sting a little just at first. But don't worry, that'll go away once the searing pain kicks in. Buffy struggles harder. He bends over her to begin. Ethan: You can go ahead and scream if you like. He starts tattooing her on the back of her neck. Cut to the library. Willow, Xander and Cordelia are researching books. Willow: We have to figure out how to kill this thing, and we need to do it fast. (takes a sip of tea) Xander: (reads) Uh, 'hot lava.' Willow: That's for a heretic. Xander: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, ooo, ooo! 'Bury a potato!' No, that's for warts. Who writes this stuff? Cordelia: I've got the solution right here. 'To kill a demon cut off its head.' Xander: Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah! We'll, uh, find Ms. Calendar, then we'll decapitate her. Hey! She'll be the first headless computer teacher in school. You think anybody'll notice? Cordelia: Do you know what you need, Xander, besides a year's supply of acne cream? A brain. Xander: (Gets up) That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on! Cordelia: (gets up and walks to him) I've seen you fight. And don't think I can't take you! Xander: Give it your best shot. Willow: (had enough, gets up) HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library! (points to the door) Cordelia: (meekly) We're sorry. Xander: We'll be good. Willow: (nods and sits) Okay. Now, we've done the research. We just have to figure out how to use it. Xander: Oh, hey! Why don't we find another dead body for the demon to jump into! Cordelia: Yes! At the cemetery. Willow: Well, that won't kill the demon. It'll only give it a change of scenery. (something clicks) Oh. Oh! Oh, I've got it! (runs for the phone) I've got it! Xander: She's good! (follows) Cordelia smiles and follows also. Cut to Ethan's shop. Ethan has finished Buffy's tattoo. Ethan: Hmm. I think I missed my calling as an artist. Buffy: Ethan, listen to me. This is a bad idea. You're dealing with something very dangerous. Ethan: (rolls up his left sleeve) But it will get Eyghon off my scent. He picks up a bottle of sulfuric acid. Buffy draws a breath in fright, thinking the acid is meant for her. Ethan: Now relax. I'm finished with you. This is for me. Buffy has found an exposed screw on the underside of the table and begins scraping her rope against it. Ethan steels himself for the burn of the acid. He slowly pours it onto his Mark of Eyghon tattoo. Buffy looks at him like he's insane. He does his best not to scream but lets out a few grunts of pain. Buffy keeps scraping the rope on the screw. Cut to Giles' apartment. He's about to leave his apartment when he's caught by a waking nightmare and collapses to the floor, unable to remain standing. He has visions of the Mark of Eyghon and various friends incarnate of Eyghon, and finally of Buffy with her new tattoo. He wakes. Giles: Oh! Ethan... No. No! He quickly gets up, grabs his coat and staggers out the door, still weak and not bothering to close it behind him. Cut to Ethan's. He wraps his arm in a bandage. Ethan: Well, I hate to mutilate and run, but... He and Buffy see a diffuse green light shine through the shop windows and the shadow of Jenny/Eyghon coming to the door. The door opens and Jenny/Eyghon steps in, well on her way to transforming into Eyghon. Jenny/Eyghon: (to Ethan in a deep male voice) It's your time. Buffy is almost through the rope under the table. Jenny/Eyghon steps up to Ethan. He stares at her in fear. She sniffs a few times and realizes he's not the one she's after anymore. She turns to Buffy, and her eyes glow. Jenny/Eyghon shoves Ethan aside just as Buffy gets through the rope. Buffy rolls off of the table and onto the floor as Jenny/Eyghon lunges for her. She kicks up and flips Jenny/Eyghon and the table over and onto the floor. They both get up. Jenny/Eyghon holds the table in her hands and rushes Buffy with it, pushing her into some crates. Giles barges in through the door. Giles: Eyghon! Take me. Jenny/Eyghon tosses the table aside and turns to face Giles. Giles: Buffy, get out of here! Jenny/Eyghon slowly advances on Giles. Buffy: NO! (gets between them) No! Jenny/Eyghon stretches her arm out at Buffy, and she goes flying into a pile of boxes. Jenny/Eyghon grabs Giles by the collar, pulls him around and down to the floor and stands over him. Jenny/Eyghon: I've been waiting a long time to do this. As she bends down to grab Giles Angel runs in through the door, grabs her and pulls her to the crate, banging her head into it. He takes her by the neck and starts to choke her. Willow, Xander and Cordelia run in next. Willow holds Giles back as he gets up. Giles: He's killing her! Willow: No! Trust me! This is gonna work! Angel continues choking Jenny/Eyghon. Xander helps Buffy up. Finally Eyghon has to jump and does so, right into Angel. He drops Jenny as he's thrown back into the wall and begins convulsing. When Jenny hits the floor she is herself again. Willow lets go of Giles, and he immediately gets on his hands and knees next to her. Giles: Jenny! Angel's face twists and contorts as the demons inside of him fight it out. He is thrown to the crate and hits his head. His face goes through a few more contortions when Eyghon suddenly appears, apparently gaining the upper hand. After a moment Angel's face shifts back to normal, then back to Eyghon, then back to normal again. He is thrown back against the wall. Another moment's struggle and the demon inside Angel throws Eyghon out. Without a host body to occupy Eyghon quickly crumbles into ashes. Angel gasps and collapses to the floor. They all run over to his aid. Giles reaches out to Jenny. She shifts to look at him. Giles: Jenny! Jenny: Rupert... Ethan gets up and runs from the shop. Buffy: You knew that if the demon was in trouble it was gonna jump into the nearest dead person. Angel: I put it in danger. Willow: And it jumped. (stands up) Angel: (gets up) I've had a demon inside me for a couple hundred years... (exhales) just waitin' for a good fight. Buffy: Winner and still champion. Xander: Uh, I think that Ethan guy disappeared again. Buffy: Darn. I really wanted to hit him till he bled. Cordelia: Well, at least it's over. Buffy and Angel look over at Jenny and Giles. Jenny clings to Giles as they walk out of the shop. Cut to school the next day. Willow, Xander and Buffy walk across the quad. Buffy: You know what the worst thing is? I was saving up for some very important shoes, and now I have to blow my entire allowance to get this stupid tattoo removed. Let's just hope my mom doesn't see it first. Xander: Puttin' that demon into Angel was pretty brill, Will. Willow: I wasn't sure it was gonna work. Buffy: But it did. Xander: Like a charm. Buffy: Hey! Maybe you should consider a career as a Watcher. Willow: Oh, no, I don't think I could handle the stress. Xander: And the dental plan is crap. Willow: I don't see how Giles does it. They see him walking. Buffy: I don't think he has a choice. Cut to the hall. Jenny walks to the stairs and is about to start up when Giles catches up with her. Giles: Uh, uh, Jenny! Jenny... She stops and turns to face him. Jenny: Rupert, hi. Giles: Uh... I-I-I tried to call you last night, s-see how you were. Jenny: Yeah, I-I-I, uh... I left my phone off the hook. I seem to need a lot of sleep lately. Giles: But, but you're al-alright? Is, is, is there anything you need? Jenny: Mm, no, I'm fine. I mean, I'm not... running around, wind in my hair, 'the hills are alive with the sound of music' fine, but... I'm coping. Giles: I, I would like to help. Jenny: I know. Giles: Perhaps we could, um, talk sometime, um... dinner, or, or a drink? When you're feeling stronger. Buffy sees them talking. Jenny: Sure, sometime. Giles reaches out to her, but she takes a backward step up and away from him and draws a deep breath. Jenny: Yeah. Sometime. (pauses) I better get to class. Giles: Yes, of course. He watches her go up the stairs. When she's gone from sight he looks down sadly, and after a moment starts to go to his library. Buffy catches up to him. Buffy: Hey. They round the corner and stop. Buffy: Is she okay? Giles: Um... The hills are not alive. Buffy: (doesn't understand) I'm sorry to hear that. I think. Giles: I don't think she'll ever really forgive me. Maybe she shouldn't. Buffy: Maybe you should. Giles: I never wanted you to see that side of me. Buffy: I'm not gonna lie to you. It was scary. I'm so used to you being a grownup, and (inhales) then I find out that you're a person. Giles: Most grownups are. Buffy: Who would've thought? Giles: Some are even, uh... shortsighted, foolish people. Buffy: So, after all this time, we finally find out that we *do* have something in common. Which, apart from being a little weird, is kind of okay. (pauses) I think we're supposed to be training right now. Giles: Yes. Yes. Um, need to concentrate on your flexibility. Buffy: And you know what? I have just the perfect music. (holds up a black CD) Go on, say it. You know you want to. Giles: It's not music, it's just, uh, meaningless sounds. Buffy: There. Feel better? Giles: Yes. Thanks. They head into the next hall toward the library. Giles: Bay City Rollers. Now, that's music.

Haunted by his dark past when he was known as Ripper, Giles confronts his old crony Ethan Rayne in an attempt to save Jenny from the lethal consequences of possession by the demon Eyghon. With Giles and the Slayer slated as its next victims, demon-ridden Angel forces Eyghon to possess him instead.

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_02x14

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_02x14_0

(SGH) (Derek is in the OR performing surgery on a patient. The gallery is empty aside from Meredith who is standing by herself) MVO: As doctors we're trained to skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is: every patient is a liar until proven honest. (Cristina enters the gallery and gives Meredith a wry smile and Meredith smiles back. Cristina walks up to the window to peer and looks down into the surgery) Meredith: Why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases? Cristina: Well why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases? Meredith (shrugs): No reason. Cristina: No reason? MVO: Lying is bad. Or so we're told. Constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. (Cristina sits down next to Meredith) MVO: The truth shall set you free. I chop down the cherry tree. Whatever. Meredith: I'm waiting for McDreamy. Cristina: I'm avoiding Burke. Meredith: Why are you avoiding Burke? Cristina: He thinks I moved in with him. Why are you waiting... Meredith (interrupts): McDreamy is doing me a favor. Burke thinks you moved in with him? Cristina: Wait you're calling him McDreamy again? (Cristina shakes her head at Meredith) MVO: The fact is, lying is a necessity. (Trauma room where Meredith is sitting on a table as Derek draws out her blood) Meredith: Thank you for doing this. With the needles and the blood. They won't accept her without a full family history. Derek: I'm happy to get your mom into the clinical trial. Even with the needles and blood. (He stands up and they 'gaze' into each others eyes) Derek: All done. How's that feel? MVO: We lie to ourselves because the truth, the truth freaking hurts. Meredith: Feels good. (Cristina is standing in a hallway waiting for Meredith. Meredith walks up to her and they start walking down the hall together) Meredith: Burke thinks you moved in with him? What does that mean? Cristina: Ok it's not important. You're calling Derek, McDreamy again. Meredith: It's nothing. Cristina: All right, what are you doing? Meredith: What are you doing? Cristina: Stop repeating what I say. Meredith: Stop asking me questions. (They stop and look out over the railing of the mezzanine and hear some banging. George is banging on a window of the hospital with Izzie standing next to him, arms crossed holding a leash with Doc on it.) George (yells): Cujo has to go! (Intern locker room where the interns are getting for rounds. Meredith is sitting down on a bench, already in her scrubs with Doc laying next to her) Izzie: He peed on my bed. My bed, Meredith! Meredith (defensive): He's our dog! George: No, he's not my dog. You two bought him, without even asking me. Meredith: We rescued him from certain death. (She pouts) Come on you guys. George: I'm putting my foot down. Either the dog moves out or I do. Foot. Down. Now. Me or the dog, which is it? (Meredith looks down at Doc contemplating and then back up at George) George (shocked): You hesitated! She hesitated! Izzie: You hesitated?!? Meredith: I didn't hesitate. I was thinking. George: You have to think about it, fine! I'm moving out right now. (He heads to the door to exit the room but as he opens the door, Bailey is revealed standing there. He swivels back towards his locker) George: Later. I'm moving out later because right now I have rounds. (Bailey walks into the room) Bailey: Tell me that is not a dog. All: It's not a dog. (Bailey's pager goes off) (Bailey is standing outside the emergency double doors with Cristina, George, Meredith, Alex, and Izzie. An ambulances double doors open up and paramedics start wheeling out a patient, including Tony the paramedic) Tony: Rick Freeark. 29. Severed 3 fingers on his left hand. Controlled the bleeding in field. Vitals stable. Gave him 5 of morphine on the way in. (They all start wheeling the patient down the hallway) Bailey: The fingers? Tony: Had some trouble retrieving them so we took off. Rich behind us found them. They're iced and ready to go. 10 minutes out. Bailey: Continue with IV fluids and start a course of antibiotics. (Bailey stops Cristina) Bailey: Yang, wait outside for the fingers. (Cristina heads back out) (Rick's trauma room) Rick: You can sew them back on right? Cause they sewed that guy's pen1s back on after his wife chopped it off, right? Bailey: Penises and fingers. Like apples and oranges. George: How did it happen? Rick: I was loading my gear onto my truck for a gig and my hand got caught in the lift gate. Alex: You're a musician? Rick: I play the friggin guitar. (to Bailey) You can sew them back on right? It's not that big of a deal right? Oh dude I better not be out of the band. (Trauma room, where now there are only scrub nurses and Derek checking on Rick's fingers. Cristina enters the room with Rick's detached fingers in a towel) Derek: Well the cuts look clean. That's good. Clean and severed makes reattachment easier. I'm not going to lie to you, if the surgery is successful; we're looking at a long recovery. Lots of physical therapy. (Rick looks pained at this) You smoke? Rick: Why? Derek: Cigarette smoke constricts the blood vessels. I've seen really good grafts fail over a few cigarettes. Rick: So what are you saying? I, I smoke a cigarette after my operation and boom my fingers fall off? Cristina: No first they turn black and necrotic and then they fall off. (Derek smiles apologetically at Rick) Rick: Well I don't smoke, so ... Cristina (holding up one detached finger): Really? Cause judging by the nicotine stains, your fingers do. (Rick looks alarmed at the idea of having to give up smoking) (George is rifling through some charts at the nurses station when he hears a voice call out from a patient room) Sophie: Anybody out there? Hello! (George shoots a glance to Nurse Debbie who is also at the desk) Debbie: Don't look at me! She had hip replacement surgery a month ago and was discharged last week. George: Then why is she still here? Debbie: Because I am not a bouncer and this is not a nightclub! I am doing what I can (Richard walks up and Debbie walks directly to him) with extremely limited staff and resources and if you have a problem with that take it up with 'Chief!' (She storms off. You can hear Sophie sing now) Sophie: Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky ... (Richard shoots George a look) Richard: Mrs. Larson's got to go. George: If she refuses to leave what can I do? Richard: She's 78 and non-ambulatory. You have the upper hand here. Use it. (Bailey, Izzie and Alex walk up to them) Richard: Karev, can I talk to you for a second? (He and Alex walk off to the side and he hands him an envelope) Richard: The results of your medical board exam. Alex: Thanks. (Richard walks off as Izzie looks on curiously. George dumps a bunch of charts into Izzie's arms and heads off. Bailey looks on disapprovingly. Alex walks back up to Bailey and Izzie) Izzie: Aren't you going to open it? Alex: Yeah, I'll open it. (George is entering Sophie Larson's room. An elderly yet very vibrant and energetic woman) Sophie (sings): I'm weary, all the time. (George claps loudly) Sophie: Oh, thank you. Thank you. George: Ok, Mrs. Larson I'm Dr. O'Malley. Sophie: Oh an Irishman! I love the Irish. They have a sparkle. You can see it in the eye and the swagger. Come on Dr. O'Malley, show me the swagger. (George looks slightly uncomfortable but swaggers half-heartedly up to Sophie's bedside) Sophie: The eyes are right, but uh you'll have to work on the swagger. George: Mrs. Larson... Sophie: Call me Sophie. Now, be a doll and bring me a remote. (She holds up and shakes it in front of him) This one's busted. George: Sophie, I can't bring you a new remote because you are no longer a patient at this hospital. Now according to your chart you have a room waiting for you at the Sugar Maple Nursing Home. Sophie: I'm staying until my daughter's house is ready. She's converting her den into my bedroom. She's doing it a shade of pink. Now bring me a remote Irish. I'm going to sing until you get back. (She starts singing loudly) Can't go on. Everything thing I have is gone! (George holds out is hand and she slaps a remote into it) Stormy weather- George: Coming right up. (He leaves) (Trauma room where a young Asian woman named Yumi sits on a bed continuously hiccupping. Yumi's Coach, Mr. Kamaji is also in the room) Alex: Ah Yumi Miyazaki. 22. She presented this morning with persistent hiccups. Izzie: She was given 50 chlopromazine which stopped them for a while but then the hiccups returned so she needs a surgical consult to rule out esophageal perforation. Bailey: When did your hiccups start? Mr. Kamaji: A few days ago. She doesn't speak English. Bailey: Are you her boyfriend? Mr. Kamaji: Her coach. Alex: Oh she's an athlete. Mr. Kamaji: Ah, Yumi is a competitive eater. Izzie: Eating is a sport? Alex (nods): Miyazaki ... yeah, yeah. She's like a Rock star in Japan. Izzie: Again, eating is a sport? Alex (to Mr. Kamaji): Tell her I saw her on TV. Tell her that I'm an athlete too. I'm a wrestler. Mr. Kamaji (in Japanese to Yumi): The young doctor wants you to know he's a wrestler. I think he's flirting with you. (Yumi gives Alex an appraising look) Yumi (in Japanese to Kamaji): Tell him I eat little boys like him for breakfast. Mr. Kamaji (to Alex): She wonders how a wrestler got smart enough to be a doctor. Most wrestlers she knows are dumb. (Alex and Izzie smile. Izzie more of a oh my god smile) Alex: Just tell her that she hasn't been hanging around the right gyms. Bailey: How bout instead you tell her that persistent hiccup could be an indication of something much more serious. (To Alex and Izzie) Schedule an esophogram. Mr. Kamaji: Oh she's competing this afternoon at the 'Taste of Seattle'. Can't you just give her a stronger dose of that drug? It seemed to work. Bailey: Did the hiccups come back? Mr. Kamaji: Yes, but... Bailey: Then it didn't work. (She moves and starts to walk off, but stops suddenly clutching her stomach in pain) Izzie: Dr. Bailey. Bailey: Be quiet. Izzie: Dr. Bailey, are you ok? (Bailey tries to shrug it off, but she still seems to be in pain) Bailey: All right somebody page Addison Shepherd. (Izzie moves off quickly while Alex stays with Bailey) (Bailey is lying down being given an ultrasound by Addison in an exam room) Addison: There he is. Heartbeat's strong. Since there's no dilation or effacement, looks like nothing more than Braxton Hicks. (Bailey sits up) Bailey: Except I know the mild concerned tone. I've used it myself from time to time. Addison: Sometimes false labor is the body's way of telling you to slow down. Bailey: I'm a surgeon. Addison: I understand the realities of your job but you need to understand the realities of your pregnancy and take it easy. Is there anything I can do to help? Bailey: Uh, yeah for starters you can help me get up off this table. (Izzie knocks on the door and enters) Izzie: Dr. Bailey. The GI lab has a couple of questions about Miss. Miyazaki's esophagram. Bailey: Well let's go. (Bailey walks out of the room) Addison: Dr. Stevens. (Izzie stops following Bailey) Addison: Keep an eye on her today. Watch out for any painful contractions. More than 5 in an hour. Anything that could indicate pre-term labor. (Izzie shakes her head) The favor is not for me Stevens, you know that. (Izzie nods and walks off) (Patient room where a middle aged woman named Naomi Cline lies on the bed looking very happy. Meredith and Burke are at the end of Naomi's bed. Tom Cline, Naomi's husband is also in the room) Meredith: Naomi Cline. 43. Had her tricuspid valve replaced 3 years ago with a porcine valve, sir. Burke: Ah Naomi, surprised to see you back again so soon. Pig valve usually holds up 10 to 15 years. But yours seems to be degenerating a little too quickly for my comfort. Naomi: Oh, heart valve, schmart valve. (excited) I got married Dr. Burke! (She laughs) I found him. My true love. My 'you jump, I jump'. (Burke and Meredith exchange looks. She holds out her hand to show her wedding ring) Look. Isn't it beautiful? And look, look at that beautiful, beautiful man. (Meredith and Burke turn around to see a middle aged balding man named Tom Cline.) Tom (uncomfortable): Heh. We ah meet in the grocery store. Naomi: Oh honey ... (She gestures for him to come be by her bedside) Burke: Oh, congratulations. It's good to see you so happy Naomi. Naomi: Yeah. (Tom comes by her bedside and Naomi becomes very affectionate) Tom: So Naomi's heart valve, what does this mean? Burke: Well there's an underlying cause for your wife's valve failure that remains undiagnosed. Theories, Grey? Meredith: Rheumatic fever, chronic use of migraine meds- (A large bark from Doc in the hallway interrupts her) or IV narcotics could all cause uh valve disease sir. Naomi (smiling): Oh I don't use drugs. Don't need them. I've got Tom, he's my drug. Aren't you baby? (Meredith looks weirded out by Naomi's happiness) (Meredith and Burke are walking out of Naomi's patient room walking down the hall) Meredith: She's high Dr. Burke. Burke (chuckles): Oh, she's in love. She's happy. Meredith: Nobody is that happy. She's on drugs. Burke (sighs): Run a tox screen but Naomi doesn't strike me as a liar. If she says no drugs, then it's no drugs. You develop a sixth sense about these things. Meredith (shrugs): Everybody is a liar. (Doc barks loudly again from the hallway) Burke: Dr. Grey, is that a dog? Meredith (shakes her head): No. (Derek is with Rick in the trauma room.) Derek: Look, we need to keep this elevated ok? Rick: Ok. Derek: I'll be back to check on you in a little bit. (Derek heads out of the room into the hallway where Cristina is dumping some waste into a waste bin. They start walking down the hall together) Derek: Yang, you were a little harsh in there. Cristina: He was lying. Besides your harsh is another man's refreshing. Derek: Well he's in shock. The man's lost his fingers and his only remaining habit in one day. We need to be compassionate. Cristina (looks upset): Compassionate? Derek: Yes. It's an emotion. Have you ever heard of it? CRISTINA: Oh, have you? (Derek looks shocked at Cristina's audacity) She's barely back on her feet and you've got her calling you McDreamy again. You know I was just telling the patient the truth. So you might want to try it sometime. (Cristina walks off) (George is standing on some shelves rummaging around a utilities room. Richard walks by but double backs when he realizes what George is doing) George: Remotes. (He pulls out a stack from a box) More remotes. Richard: O'Malley? George: I'm getting a remote for Mrs. Larson. Richard: What happened to the upper hand? George: Have you met Mrs. Larson, sir? Richard: Why do you think she's been here this long? In a private room? George (amused): She handled you, too? Richard: Well, she sang for the troops, you know. George: Can't we just keep here until her the room in her daughter's house is ready? Richard: No we can't. Not on surgical service, anyway. George: Oh, ok... but some other service? Richard: I'm the Chief, O'Malley. I can't condone turfing patients onto other services. You hear me O'Malley? (Richard walks off) (George is entering Mrs. Larson's room smiling) Sophie: I'm ah, I'm missing my program Irish and I don't see a remote in that hot little hand. George: I noticed that urine output has increased slightly since yesterday. I'm going to have to take you to gynecology to make sure you don't have a prolapsed uterus. Sophie: Honey my uterus hasn't been an issue for 30 years. George: I know, but it might be an issue now. ... You know one that could keep you here in the hospital for tests. (Sophie grins broadly and grabs the metal triangle in front of her for grip) Sophie: You drive, I'll ride shotgun. (Izzie comes to the door as George prepares to move Mrs. Larson's bed) Izzie: You're not moving out, George. George: Oh yes, I am. I gave an ultimatum. Threw dawn the gauntlet. I drew my line in the sand. Izzie: Well un-give, un-throw and un-draw. George: A man does not give an ultimatum and then back down. (Izzie helps George move the bed out of the room and down the hallway) George: Meredith had a choice and she chose the dog. Sophie (shocked): A girl chose a dog over you? George: Yes. Izzie: No. (Izzie and George stare at each other) (Hospital outdoor cafeteria. Alex is sitting at a table by himself looking over the envelope Richard gave him. There is also an unusually big pile of hotdogs sitting in front of him. He puts it away quickly as Cristina and Izzie come up and sit down at the table as well. Cristina also has a large plate of hotdogs) Alex: Are we gonna do this or what? Cristina: Yeah, let's go. (George comes up running with his own plate of hotdogs) George: Don't start without me. Alex: We're not gonna start if Izzie doesn't focus. Cristina: Izzie, come on. Izzie (ignores this): What should I put on the flier? George: I don't know. Cristina: Destructive, aggressive, uh hell dog available. George: That's not helping. Cristina: Fine, uh playful, protective puppy needs loving home. Izzie (approvingly): Good. (Meredith comes with her own set of food and Doc on a leash. She sits down) Meredith: Hey, George. George (looking down at his food): Don't talk to me! You'll only make me mad. You're gonna mess up my game and I'm in the zone. Meredith: Okay. (To Izzie): What are you doing? Izzie: Oh it's a flier that I'm gonna put it up... Cristina (yells): Izzie, come on! George (yells at the same time): Izzie! Izzie: Okay! Keep your panties on! (Izzie picks up a stop watch as George, Alex and Cristina all prepare to have a hot-dog eating contest) Izzie: All right. (George picks up one of his hotdogs) Cristina: No touching! (George puts down his hotdog making a face at Cristina) Izzie (struggling not to laugh): Go! (George, Alex and Cristina start wolfing down their hotdogs. Though Cristina opts for eating the actual hotdog meat first quickly, rather than bun and dog like Alex and George) Meredith (looks at the flier): You're advertising for a home for Doc? I said I would do it. Izzie: And you haven't and you won't. And I don't want George to leave. (She makes a funny face when she looks at George's eating) Meredith: Well at least put down he's not house-broken. (Izzie gives her a look) What? It's the truth. Izzie: Ok, so you want me to put the truth. Fine. (Cristina has now finished her hot dog meat and only left with the buns with she is now wetting down with water, mushing up and then stuffing into her mouth) Izzie: Vicious, hyper devil mutt is available. And will pee on the bed. Meredith: He's your dog too. We got him together. (She gives the others a weird look at their eating contest. It seems Cristina is winning, Alex followed closely behind, and George is pretty much screwed) Izzie: We got him together, please. He's not your dog either. He doesn't even know us. We are not home enough for him to know us. (Cristina stuffs the last of it down her mouth and shouts victorious. Though it's very muffled and hard to understand since she still has a mouth full of bread. Alex and George also protest muffled as she hasn't chewed it all down. Cristina stands up and starts gloating and making hand gestures) Cristina: You want to be! You want to be me but you can't be me! You want to be me... (She stops abruptly and looks like she's gonna chuck) George: Uh, oh. (She sits back down woozy) Izzie: Crap, she's gonna blow. (They all stand up quickly and run off, leaving Cristina sitting by herself trying not to throw up) (Patricia and Richard are walking down a hallway together. Patricia is reading from some papers) Patricia: The surgical floor has become a dumping ground for patients who aren't even surgical. We are overworked and exhausted. This makes for un... Richard (interrupts): The nurses again? Can't you do something about this? You used to be one of them. Don't you speak nurse? (Richard stops in front of the OR board) Patricia: That's why you don't get any respect from the nurses; surgical arrogance. Richard (huffs): I'm not arrogant. Patricia: You're killing them with that workload. Look at the board! (The board is absolutely filled) Richard: What? That's a beautiful board. Patricia: That's a crowded board. (She hands Richard the paper she was reading from) We need more nurses. (She walks off) (Exam room, where Yumi is lying down on a table undergoing an ultrasound. Izzie, Bailey, Alex and Mr. Kamaji are in there. Yumi is still hiccupping) Bailey: Mr. Kamaji, this is probably what's causing her hiccups. (Izzie points to a screen) A tear in the lining of her esophagus. Mr. Kamaji: Can you fix it? Bailey: Yes, surgically the sooner, the better. Mr. Kamaji: Ah, after the competition today her schedule is clear until March. Bailey: No her schedule is clear now. She can't compete today. And if she enjoys the taste of solid food, I recommend giving up the sport for something a little less aggressive. Say boxing. (Yumi just lies on the table looking scared and at Mr. Kamaji to tell her what's going on) Mr. Kamaji: I see. Could you give us some privacy please? (The three doctors all exchange looks and leave the room) Bailey: Karev, get the translator up here. Let's make sure she's getting the whole truth. [SCENE_BREAK] (Patient room where Rick is. Cristina comes in and finds Rick's band mates and friends in the room, smoking and drinking) Band Mate: Busted Cristina: Put that out! Band Mate: Sorry. Cristina: I gotta prep you for surgery. Can you ask your friends to leave? (The band mates hug Richard and leave. Cristina starts prepping Richard and notices a carton of cigarette's on his lap. Richard notices this and holds up the packet defensively) Rick: I wasn't gonna light 'em. I was just holding them. Cristina: Ok. Rick: Seriously, take 'em. Throw 'em out. Cristina: No you hang onto them. Rick: Seriously, I wasn't going to smoke. Cristina: Seriously, I don't care. Do what you want. Rick: You don't think I'm going to be able to quit, do you? Cristina: No. I don't. (George is walking down the hall when he stops suddenly hearing a voice) Sophie (singing): I'm lonely all the time ... George: Oh no. (He looks over at the nurses' station where Debbie is standing) Debbie: Oh yeah. (George opens the patient door apprehensively, not wanting to believe it) Sophie: Irish. That nice lady doctor in gynecology said that since I had a hysterectomy back in '74, I don't have a uterus to prolapse. (George walks in and sits dejectedly on the couch seat in the room) George (to himself): Damn it. Sophie: I've been feeling a bit feverish. (George sits up quickly and grabs Sophie's chart of her bedside) A woman my age with a fever could be an indication of oh any number of awful diseases. George (disappointed): They took your temperature an hour ago. It was normal. I am sorry Sophie, but I'm going to have to call your daughter. Sophie: I'm telling you, I'm warm. (George walks over and places a hand on Sophie's forehead. She places her own hand over his and smiles) Sophie: That must be one hell of a dog. George: Excuse me? (George removes his hand from Sophie's forehead but she still holds onto it) Sophie: With those eyes and those nice firm hands ... A girl who chooses a dog over you ... It must be one hell of a dog. (George smiles at Sophie) (Burke and Meredith are walking down a hallway together) Meredith: Mrs. Cline's tox screen and titer both came back negative. I was sure I was right about that. Burke (chuckles): Gonna have to adjust your world view Dr. Grey. There are people out there that don't lie. Meredith: Maybe. Burke: Although frankly, the drug use would've explained the valve failure. (They stop walking in the middle of some stairs) Meredith: So how do we proceed? Burke: Schedule Mrs. Cline for a surgery. Meredith (nods): Ok. (Meredith starts heading back up the stairs) Burke: Do you want to come over for dinner? (Meredith stops abruptly on a stair and turns around shocked) Meredith: What? Burke: Dinner. Our place. Mine and Cristina's. Meredith (still shocked): Why? Burke: You're Cristina's best-friend. I want her to feel welcome to have friends in our home. Meredith: Oh, so she moved in with you? Burke: Yes. (suddenly confused) Didn't she tell you? Meredith (forces a smile): Of course she told me. Why wouldn't she tell me? She's in, right? Which you know, I think is great. Burke: Right. (He heads off down the stairs leaving Meredith standing looking confused) (Derek is standing in front of an elevator revealing Cristina standing by herself. He walks in. Cristina avoids looking at him) Derek: Just came from Mr. Freeark's room. He's convinced that he won't be able to quit smoking. Says that you agree. Cristina: No he asked my opinion. Want me to apologize? Derek: No I want you to go in there and tell him that you're wrong. That you're having a bad day. You're favorite uncle died of lung cancer and that every time you see a cigarette you freak out. Say whatever you need to say. Get him to believe that this about you not him. Because if he thinks he won't be able to quit, he won't. Then we shouldn't even do this surgery. Cristina: Fine. Derek: What is your problem? I'm your boss. What's the matter... Cristina (interrupts): No you're not my boss right now. We're in an elevator. That's your specialty right? McDreamy moments in elevators. Derek (warningly): Dr. Yang. Cristina: You know just for a moment, I'm not Dr. Yang and you're not Dr. Shepherd. You're the guy who screwed up my friend. The guy who drove her to get a dog she can't keep. The dog she only got because her boyfriend lied to her about his wife. Derek (interrupts): I never lied to her! Cristina: You know what I know a liar when I see one because I'm a liar. Fine you want me to lie to the patient. I'll lie. (The doors ding open and she leaves) (Alex walks back to the Yumi's exam room with a translator. He looks in the room but it's empty) Alex: Yumi? (He walks out and to the closest nurses' station) Alex: Hey, the translator is here. Where's the patient Miyazaki? Nurse: She left with her friend about 20 minutes ago. Alex: She wasn't discharged. Nurse: Sorry, we're short staffed. I assumed someone else had done the paperwork. (She leaves) Alex: Damn it. (Rick is in a hallway banging against a vending machine) Rick: Come on. Damn it. Uh! Uh. (Cristina walks down the hall and rushes up to him) Cristina: What are you doing out of bed? Rick: I gotta get a candy bar, man. Cristina: Uh, you're on morphine. You're about to have surgery and you can't eat. Mr. Freeark, please. (She tries to move him down the hall) Rick: My Dad's Mr. Freeark. He's gotta a comb over and ah, and an annoying wife named Kimberley so- Cristina (interrupts): Rick. Listen. Earlier I was out of line. Rick: No you got me to think. I don't want to be a guy, sitting in a bar with a stump for a hand. Having a smoke 10 years down the line bragging about how I used to play better than Dave Navarro. Cristina: Yeah, you don't wanna be creepy, bitter guy. Rick: Here's the thing. My last cigarette was this morning. Only, I didn't know it was my last cigarette. (Cristina and Rick are standing outside the hospital where Rick is having what looks like to be a very gratifying cigarette. Derek notices this and walks outside and hits against the glass) Derek (to Cristina): What the hell do you think you're doing? (Cristina has a look on her face that says 'oh sh1t') (OR where a surgery is being performed. Meredith and Cristina are both standing at the edge of the gallery with cups of coffee as all the seats are taken) Cristina: McDreamy's being McDouchey. He's making me stand at the back of the O.R while he re-attaches Rick's fingers. I can't even touch a retractor. I hate him. Meredith: Truth. Did you move in with Burke or not? Cristina (sighs): I told him I moved in with him. I'm keeping my old apartment. (Meredith turns around and gives her a look) Cristina: What? I sleep with Burke every night. My clothes are there. So I still have my apartment, big deal. Meredith: You have to tell him. Cristina: Actually I don't. Meredith: So I'm supposed to go to dinner at your fake apartment with the guy you fake live with? Cristina: Oh, I would never have you over to dinner with Burke. That's weird. Meredith (spins around instantly): This is my point. Stop with the lying. Cristina (whispers accusingly): And you're being honest? That last time you called him McDreamy you were all a-twitter with love. Meredith: We're just friends. Cristina: Uh huh. Meredith: We are. (Infectious Diseases department. George is there with Mrs. Larson talking with an ID resident who is looking through Mrs. Larson's chart) Resident: West Nile virus. Are you kidding me? George: No, look at her. She's feverish. She's much weaker than she was this morning. She could be de-compensating. (Sophie tries to look sickly and coughs) Resident: She's been here for a month, Dr. O'Malley. You seen any mosquitoes in this hospital lately? Sophie: Oh, such a handsome young man ... (The resident gives her a weird look) Those chocolaty eyes ... Resident (tries not to smile): In order to test you Mrs. Larson, we'd have to do a spinal tap. Sophie: Will you be doing it? Resident (tries not to look off put by the idea): Yes, ma'am. Sophie: Well then, call me Sophie. (The ID resident moves to George's position to wheel Sophie's bed down the hallway. George starts walking off) Sophie (calls out): Oh, nice meeting you, Irish! (She waves and George waves back. He walks off looking pretty smug with himself) (Naomi's room, where Meredith is talking to Mrs. Cline. She hands Mrs. Cline a chart) Meredith: So if you'll just sign here, we can go ahead and schedule you for surgery. Naomi: Oh, ok. ... You know you are a gorgeous young woman. Look at you. (She signs the chart) You should smile more. (Meredith fakes a smile and leaves the room. Meredith is outside the room, where she notices Mr. Cline, sitting on a chair out in the hall looking downcast. She walks up to him) Meredith: Mr. Cline. Tom (stands up): Oh, ah ... do me a favor. Meredith: Sure. Rom: Don't tell her you saw me. I'm, I'm not sure that I'm going to go in. She's ... she can be exhausting. Meredith (nods): Yeah, she's...really happy. Tom: You know I thought it was just ... falling in love, the wedding, but I was kinda hoping the honeymoon would be over by now, you know? (Meredith nods) I mean it's not normal, right? (He whispers) Nobody's that happy. (Meredith is walking up to the lab tech guy Jeffery at the lab desk) Meredith: Run another tox screen on Naomi Cline. Jeffery: On whose orders? Meredith: Dr. Burke's, of course. (She ticks the form for the test and pushes it forward to Jeffery) (Izzie is walking up to the on call room. She knocks on the door lightly and enters. Dr. Bailey is lying down on one of the bottom bunks) Izzie: I'm sorry to bother you. The paramedics are on their way in with Yumi Miyazaki. She collapsed at the 'Taste of Seattle' and is vomiting blood. (Bailey looks frustrated and sits up) Bailey: Damn fool, probably tore her esophagus in two by now. (She gets up and murmurs a bit, looking like she's in pain) Izzie: Are you ok? (Bailey takes a moment and then grabs her coat and starts making her way out of the room) Bailey: Complications of Boerhaave's syndrome. Go. Izzie: Pleural effusion, sepsis, shock. (Pre-op ward where Yumi is lying, breathing difficultly on a bed and Alex is checking her vitals. Bailey and Izzie are there as well. Including a few nurses. Mr. Kamaji is watching from outside looking anxious) Alex: Cyanotic with shallow breast sounds. BP is 76 over 42. Tachycardic in the one thirty's. Start her on high flow O2 and give her a second dose of saline. Bailey: Alright, let's get her to the O.R. Izzie: They're ready and waiting. (They're about to start moving Yumi's bed when she grabs Alex's hand pleadingly looking upset as if to say why is this happening? Alex looks down and the looks through the glass wall, shooting daggers at the coach) Alex: The freaking coach should be the one this gurney. Bailey: Let's keep our eyes on the prize Karev. Saving this woman's life. (They start wheeling her out) Alex: I'll meet you guys up there. (Alex starts walking over to the coach. Izzie notices this) Izzie: Me too. (Izzie walks up quickly to Alex) Izzie: Hey, hey. What are you going to do? Punch him out? Alex: Yeah. Izzie: So you're going to kick his ass, get yourself kicked out of the program, before you have to open your board scores which is incase you failed. (Her beeper goes off) God, you're such an idiot. (She walks away) (O.R where Bailey is operating on Yumi. Alex and Izzie are helping and watching) Bailey: Dr. Karev, how do I begin the esophagomyotomy? Alex: Cut proximal and distal to the tear to expose the mucosal defect. Bailey: Correct. Then we'll move to debridement of the defect- (She gasps suddenly) Bailey: Oh! (She backs away quickly from the operating table, dropping the surgical tools and starts breathing in and out quickly) Izzie: Dr. Bailey, those aren't Braxton Hicks contractions. I believe you're in pre-term labor. (Bailey gives her an annoyed look) (Richard is entering the OR all scrubbed up) Richard: Why didn't you call me sooner? (Bailey just shakes her head) Alright, just get out of here. Bailey: I was gonna fashion a gastric patch. Richard: I taught you the procedure. Now leave. (Bailey sighs and leaves) (Meredith is walking up to the blood lab for the results but finds Dr. Burke already there. She walks up slowly to him) Burke: I got paged, Dr. Grey. Jeffery wanted to give me the results to the extensive blood work that I ordered. (He gestures to the forms Meredith filled in) You forged me signature? Meredith: That's really bad, right? Burke: Yeah that's really bad. Naomi is not on drugs. The tests came back negative. Meredith (amazed): They did? Burke: They did. Again. (Meredith shakes her head in disbelief) Next time you forge me signature, let me know. Save me a trip. Meredith: That's it? You're not going to yell and say 'Damn it Grey' and storm out? Burke (smiles): I will if you want me too. Meredith: No. Jeffery (walks up to them with another test): Dr. Burke, here's another one. Her serotonin level is through the roof. Burke: Dr. Grey, you took a detailed history? Meredith: Mmm Hmm. (They start walking down a hallway) Burke: When did Mrs. Cline develop asthma? Meredith: After the first surgery. Why? (Cut to Naomi's room where she is sitting happily on her bed. Tom is standing by her bedside. Burke and Meredith are in there as well) Burke: We found a carcinoid tumor in the lump. Very rare. Almost impossible to diagnose. It masks itself as a bunch of seemingly unrelated symptoms. Adult onset asthma, valve failure... Meredith: An increased level of serotonin in the blood. Burke: Which creates a false sense of euphoria. (Naomi smiles broadly) Tom: So, Naomi is not actually this happy. She just has a tumor? Burke: Exactly. (Meredith nods) Tom: Thank god. Naomi: You people with your tumors. I tell ya, I'm infected with love! (She laughs) Meredith: I'm sorry. Your body is lying to your mind. Naomi: Oh let the lie continue, (to Tom) right baby? Tom (chuckles uncomfortably): How soon can you cure her? Burke: Tomorrow, we can take the tumor out. If all goes well, Naomi goes back to normal. Tom: Alright, thank you both. (Burke and Meredith leave the room and walk into the hallway) Meredith: Thank you for not chewing me out for forging your signature. Burke: Thank you. (Meredith looks confused) I know it was probably you who convinced Cristina. She's very strong but she listens to you. If you told her to move in ... (He smiles briefly) Anyway, thank you. (Burke walks off and Meredith is left looking a little uncomfortable) Meredith: No problem. (OR, Derek is about to start performing surgery on Rick. Cristina is in the OR but watching right from the back) Derek: Now do you have any sensation in your left arm at all? Rick: Nope. (A doctor moves to shield Rick from watching) Actually, could I watch? (The doctor drops the covering so Rick can see) Rick: I wanna see every blood vessel and nerve I'm gonna screw up if I ever smoke again. Not that I'm gonna. Ever again. (He makes eye contact with Cristina) I smoked my last cigarette. (Derek notices this) Derek: Ok, let's get started. (Miss. Larson, Sophie's daughter is talking to Nurse Debbie at a nurse's station) Miss Larson: The nursing home said she never showed up. How exactly is that possible? Debbie: She wouldn't leave. Miss Larson: My mother is old and infirm. You couldn't make her leave? Debbie: Have you met your mother? Miss Larson: Fine. Where is she now? (George who is walking by notices Miss. Larson) George: Oh, hi I'm Dr. O'Malley. She's in the infectious disease service. Miss Larson: Infectious Disease. Since when does she have an infectious disease? George: She doesn't. She just doesn't want to leave. Miss Larson: Ah, she's unbelievable. George (smiles): Yeah she is. ... So is her room ready? I could go get her right now. Miss Larson: They've had the room ready for weeks. George: No, ah not at Sugar Maple. I meant at your house. Miss Larson: I'm sorry? George: The, the pink room ... (realization dawns) at your house. (Miss Larson just gives him a look) (George is entering Sophie's infectious disease room where she's watching television) George: Hi Sophie. (Sophie switches off the TV) Sophie: Irish, what a wonderful surprise! You won't catch my disease will you? George: No, I think I'll be ok... Sophie, your daughter was just here. (Sophie stops smiling instantly and gets teary eyed) Sophie: Nursing homes are for old people. I know I'm elderly. I do know that. ... But if I have to go that place, I'm afraid I'll become old. George (takes her hand and smiles): I don't think that's possible. Sophie (smiles): Oh. George: You know that I, I would keep you here if I could. Sophie: Oh, no darling you can't waste any more time with me. You have to go balls out with the dog. George: Excuse me? Sophie: So she chose an animal over you! So what? Women are fools. That's old news. But life's too short for you to give in, Irish. ... So fight, you fight for what's yours. (George leans down and kisses Sophie's hand and walks to the door) Sophie: Now that my friend is a swagger. (George closes the door and places his hand against the clear glass door. Sophie lifts her hand to return the gesture. George heads off) (Richard is in the O.R operating on Yumi with Izzie and Alex helping) Richard: I'll be closing the peritoneal cavity with zero chromic sutures. (Nurse Debbie knocks on the glass window of the scrubs room holding up a piece of paper) Alex: Chief. (Richard turns around and sees Debbie and then turns back to the operating table) Richard: Let's get back to it. Pull back on that retractor. Give me more suction. I'll need a sponge on a stick. (Debbie enters the O.R) Richard: What's going on? Debbie: I tried but you wouldn't listen. It is now 6.07. The second shift of nurses started at 6. They're not coming in. Richard: Do you have any idea what a sick out would do to this hospital? Debbie: I've already put in the call for temps. (She puts down the paper she was holding on a table nearby) Richard: What's this? Debbie: Official notification. We go on strike in 10 days. (Yumi's post-op room where she is lying on a hospital bed. Alex is writing in her chart and Izzie is checking on her) Alex: You're doing good Yumi. You're doing just fine. (Yumi speaks Japanese) Izzie: We should get the translator back up here. She doesn't understand what's going on. (To Yumi) We'll be back. (They head out of the room where they run to Mr. Kamaji in the hallway) Alex: What the hell are you doing here? Mr. Kamaji: I never would've ... I thought she would be fine. I'm sorry. Alex: Don't tell me. Tell her. Tell her how her career is over because of you. (Alex steps aside so Mr. Kamaji can walk in. Mr. Kamaji walks in slowly and bows deeply in apology and shame. Alex looks back at Izzie who nods. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the envelope Richard gave him. They move away from the door) Izzie (pats Alex on the back): Way better than punching him out. Alex: Hey uh ... can you (he holds out the envelope to Izzie) Izzie (takes the envelope): You want me to open it? Alex: Yeah, yeah you know it's just, I can't. Izzie (she tries to hand it back): I shouldn't, I mean I... Alex (interrupts): Look you already think I'm an idiot. It won't be any great shock. (Izzie sighs and opens the envelope. She pulls out the letter and reads it. She puts the letter in front of Alex) Izzie: Congratulations. (Alex grins at her and looks down at the letter) You are not an idiot. Except when you're being an idiot. (Izzie walks off) (Cristina is checking on Rick's fingers in his patient room. She walks out the room where she runs into Derek) Derek: How's he doing? Cristina: Ah jonesing for a cigarette but I'll think he'll make it to the end of the day. Derek: Good. ... I was being nice to her. Cristina: Ok. Derek: I can be nice without being ... (he gestures) Cristina (disbelieving): McDreamy, I know. Derek: I really can. Cristina (still disbelieving): Ok. Derek: Ok then. (He walks into the room) (A nurse is pushing Dr. Bailey dressed to go home in a wheelchair down a hallway. Addison is walking beside her and they are being followed the 'gang' Cristina, Izzie, Meredith, Alex and George) Addison: Bed rest at home until the baby comes. You do know what bed rest is don't you Miranda? Bailey: Yeah hell. (She's being wheeled backwards into an elevator) Izzie: Hell with TV and books. (She hands Bailey a present) Here it's from all of us. (Bailey takes it grudgingly. They all smile at her from outside the elevator. They elevator doors begin to close, but Bailey stops it with her foot) Bailey: I may be 47 months pregnant (The group looks apprehensive as they were about to walk off. Addison has already walked off) I may be on bed rest. I may not be able to see my own feet but I am Dr. Bailey. I hear everything. I know everything. I'm watching each and every one of you. And I will return. (The doors close) (Richard is wiping the OR board clean himself. Burke is standing near the stairs watching him. Derek walks up to Burke) Derek: Strike? Burke: Strike. Richard (turns around): You are all a bunch of arrogant surgeons. (He walks off. Burke and Derek exchange looks) (Cristina walks into an empty gallery except for Meredith who is on her mobile) Cristina: Hey. Meredith: Hey. (She hangs up) That was Izzie. She refuses to take the dog home. Cristina: Mmm Hmm. (She sighs and sits down in front of Meredith) Fine, if you want me to tell Burke I didn't move in I'll tell him. Meredith: No don't. Cristina: What? Meredith: Don't tell him. At least not right now or tonight. (Cristina sighs in relief) I just mean wait. It can wait. (Cristina nods) I lied about Derek. We're not just friends. I mean, I'm not. He's still McDreamy. (Cristina stands up and rubs Meredith's arm comfortingly) Cristina: I know. (She walks out of the gallery) (Intern locker room, there is a notice board showing a flyer for Doc. George walks in and sees Doc lying down on the floor. In fact there are a lot of fliers advertising Doc. Meredith is sitting dressed to go home in front of her locker. George sits down next to her) George: You don't get to choose. Meredith: Huh? George: I know you've been going through a bad time. I know you miss Shepherd. And I know that your life has admittedly been pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me. ... I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons. I have ... held your hand every time you've asked. I've earned the right to be seen. To be respected. To not have you think of me as less than a dog that you got at the pound. ...So, I'm not moving out. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying. (Meredith just looks at him) MVO: No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away. (Cristina is sitting up-right looking hesitant on Burke's bed. She sighs and lies down next to Burke who wraps his arms around her) Burke: I'm glad you moved in. Cristina: So am I. MVO: Whether we like it or not. (Izzie, Meredith and George are exiting out of Meredith's Jeep. Izzie hands George some Doc's toys while Meredith gets Doc out from the back) Meredith: Ok, Doc. Let's go. (They're in front of Derek's trailer. Derek and Addison out and meet them. Meredith looks upset) Derek: Hey Doc. Hey buddy. Welcome home. Addison: Hey. He's beautiful. (They start patting Doc) Izzie: I brought his toys. George: And his food and water. Meredith: Here. (Meredith hands the leash over to Addison) Meredith: Thanks for doing this. I know it's a lot to ask. Addison: It's all right. It's just a dog, right? Come on Doc. (She walks away and takes Doc into the trailer) Izzie (to Meredith): Ah, we'll just wait by the car. Meredith: Ok. (George and Izzie walk back to the car) So he ah chews everything. So don't leave anything out. (Derek nods) He hates cats and small little yappy dogs. Oh (she shakes her head) not house broken. Derek: Oh! Meredith: Probably should've told you that. Derek: Yeah. (They stare at each other for a bit) Meredith: You don't have to do this you know? Derek (nods): What I got, I got all this land. It's just going to waste. (Meredith nods) Meredith: Derek. Derek: It's just a dog. It doesn't mean anything. He'll be a fine. (Meredith forces a smile) Meredith: Yeah. Ok. Goodnight. Derek: Goodnight. (Meredith turns back towards her car) MVO: But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. (Derek looks on after her for a bit and then heads back into the trailer) MVO: So we lie.

The truth is in short supply as Meredith and Cristina lie to each other about the status of their relationships. Derek and Cristina treat a guitarist who lost three of his fingers, but she is angry with Derek since he has Meredith calling him McDreamy again. Meredith and Burke treat a recently married woman with persistent heart problems, whose happiness turns out to be a symptom. Cristina 'kinda' moves in with Burke, but she still has her apartment. George threatens to move out over Meredith's dog and in the end Meredith reluctantly gives him to Derek and Addison. George is given the unpleasant task of discharging an elderly patient who refuses to leave the hospital despite no longer being sick. Bailey, Alex and Izzie treat a competitive eater who is presented with a tear in the lining of her esophagus . Alex is so nervous about the results of his exam that he eventually asks Izzie to open them for him. Bailey is put on maternity leave.

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_03x27

fd_Doctor_Who_1963_03x27_0

PAUL ERICKSON & LESLEY SCOTT 05:15pm-05:40pm [SCENE_BREAK] 1: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK ZENTOS: (Shouts.) I invoke the special galactic law against them. Hold them! Take them into custody and later they will be made to answer for the crime that they have committed! STEVEN: Look, listen to us... ZENTOS: Take them away! (The travellers are dragged away. ZENTOS steps down and goes over to where MELLIUM is tending to her near-unconscious father. Other Guardians surround them.) MELLIUM: What about my father? ZENTOS: He may well die, but then again, so might all of us. (The other Guardians react with shock to this statement.) ZENTOS: In which case, it was pointless leaving. (He turns and looks at the giant monitor screen on which is shown the Earth as it travels on to its doom...) [SCENE_BREAK] 2: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (The travellers have been placed in a basically furnished room. The DOCTOR is looking through a small window in the locked door. STEVEN rests on a padded bench whilst DODO sits at a table.) STEVEN: What do you think they'll do to us Doctor? DOCTOR: (Turns.) Well, I'm not sure, dear boy. We shall just have to wait and see. DODO: (Upset.) It's all my fault. If I'd known it was going to be like this, I'd never have come. DOCTOR: Well you did come, my dear, so it's too late to be worry about that - and stop sniffling! DODO: I'm not sniffling - it's me nose running again! Anyway, I'm feeling better now but I don't suppose anyone cares. DOCTOR: But of course they care, my dear. Now don't worry. It's not your fault at all. If it's anybody's, it's mine. STEVEN: Look, do you think this has happened before? That we've carried an infection from one age to another, or even one planet to another? DOCTOR: Oh, I don't want to think it...about it, too...dear boy, it's too horrifying. Though I must say that we're usually very healthy. (DODO coughs and sneezes behind him.) STEVEN: It'll spread through the whole ship, become an epidemic. DOCTOR: Well that depends on the strength of the virus infection. DODO: (Crying.) If it's half as bad as my cold was, it will. DOCTOR: Oh, do blow your nose child! It's running all over the place. DODO: No, it isn't. I'm crying this time! (The DOCTOR is momentarily at a loss. Then he puts his arm and across the young girls shoulder and pats her gently.) DOCTOR: Well look, my dear, do try and rest, you know you may be feeling better but your far from cured, hmm? (He crosses to the door.) DOCTOR: Oh, if only those wretched Guardians would let us out of here. I'd be able to help, mm? Hmm! [SCENE_BREAK] 3: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (MANYAK signs to a MONOID as ZENTOS looks at monitor screens on the control desk.) ZENTOS: Look. (MANYAK signals to the MONOID to go, then he turns and joins ZENTOS in looking at a small monitor.) ZENTOS: That's another victim. It's not showing any signs of abating. (The monitor shows a MONOID on the transporter collapsing at the base of the statue. Two Guardians rush to assist. ZENTOS adjusts a control and the image changes.) ZENTOS: And look! (The image now shows the jungle outside the TARDIS. A MONOID collapses against the ship...) [SCENE_BREAK] 4: INT. ARK. JUNGLE (...and then falls on the jungle floor. It gives out agonised cries in its death throes, then lies still.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK ZENTOS: That's another victim...another death, and more human Guardians have also been taken ill. Thank heaven none of them has died yet. MANYAK: What will happen if one does? ZENTOS: It'll be disaster. Each man has his allotted task. No one had reckoned on this eventuality. MANYAK: There must be something we can do about it. ZENTOS: Our micro-virologists are trying to find the answer. One of them is with the Commander now. (They look across the control deck to a closed room, outside of which are two MONOIDS on guard.) [SCENE_BREAK] 6: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM (The COMMANDER lies delirious on his bed. MELLIUM tends him watched by RHOS, a micro-virologist and a MONOID. All three wear perspex mouth masks to protect them from the germs. RHOS takes MELLIUM to one side. They takes their masks off to speak.) MELLIUM: Is there nothing you can do? RHOS: Unfortunately, the data covering this type of fever was lost long ago. In the primal wars of the tenth segment. COMMANDER: (Weakly.) Mellium... (She puts her mask back on and crosses to her father.) MELLIUM: Yes father? COMMANDER: (Weakly.) I seem to be drifting back and forth...unconsciousness...to moments of sudden clarity. MELLIUM: Perhaps it's better that you shouldn't talk. COMMANDER: No...must, I must... Promise me, Mellium, should anything happen to me... MELLIUM: Oh, you mustn't talk this way! COMMANDER: Should anything happen, do all in you power, along with the others...to make sure the voyage continues. MELLIUM: Of course, father. COMMANDER: What... MELLIUM: But soon, you'll get well. COMMANDER: What happens to me is not so important. Or you for that matter, or any one of us...but the voyage and the eventual landing of our descendants on the planet Refusis - that is! That's the only thing that's important. Remember that. MELLIUM: Yes father. (A slow drumbeat sounds starts up. RHOS and MELLIUM look round.) [SCENE_BREAK] 7: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (DODO, also hearing the sound, raises her head. She crosses over to the door where the DOCTOR watches.) DODO: What is it? DOCTOR: I don't know. DODO: It sounds like savages. [SCENE_BREAK] 8: INT. ARK. CORRIDOR (Four MONOIDS carry one of their kind wrapped in a burial shroud.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (They enter the control deck where Guardians watch in respectful silence. ZENTOS stands on the COMMANDER'S dais.) ZENTOS: Proceed with the preparations for ejection. Commit the body to space burial. (MANYAK signals to the MONOIDS who take the body over to a transporter. Once the body has been placed on it, a MONDOID drives away. A door marked "LAUNCHING BAY" shuts behind it.) MANYAK: It is over. (He switches on a monitor on the instrument panel. The screen shows a door sliding open on the curved exterior of the Ark, then the body is ejected and spins off into space. ZENTOS addresses the crowd from the dais.) ZENTOS: Guardians, Monoids, before it is too late, before we are stricken by the fever ourselves, we must make the strangers answer for the terrible crime they have committed. (The crowd agrees loudly, out of which can be heard the voice of one female GUARDIAN.) 2nd GUARDIAN: Yes, they must be tried and punished. ZENTOS: A hearing will commence at once. As Deputy Commander, I will preside. Baccu has undertaken to put the charges. (ZENTOS points at BACCU. The crowd mutters in approval.) 1st GUARDIAN: ... best man for ... ZENTOS: Will anyone speak for the prisoners? (The Guardians look uncomfortably at each other. Seeing this, MANYAK steps forward.) MANYAK: I will. (MELLIUM joins him.) MELLIUM: And I. (ZENTOS stares at her.) MELLIUM: My father would wish it. [SCENE_BREAK] 10: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM (A masked MONOID adjusts a wall monitor in the COMMANDER'S room in order that he can watch proceedings.) MELLIUM: (OOV: On monitor.) His only desire was that justice should be done and a sensible solution to this crisis be found. COMMANDER: Yes...yes...! [SCENE_BREAK] 11: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (A similar wall monitor in the time travellers room shows an image of ZENTOS addressing the Guardians on the control deck. He reads a document.) ZENTOS: (OOV: On monitor.) The law that has been broken is the following... DODO: Look Doctor, they've switched the television on. ZENTOS: (OOV: On monitor.) In that the spaceship represents the only means by which Earth life may be extended and perpetuated, the Guardian for the time being in charge of the ship, shall have absolute power to punish or restrain any life-form that endangers... [SCENE_BREAK] 12: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK ZENTOS: ...the success of its mission, by expulsion from the ship, miniaturisation or such lesser penalty as he shall deem fit. [SCENE_BREAK] 13: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM DODO: Some sort of trial? (The DOCTOR considers.) ZENTOS: (OOV: On monitor.) I call on Baccu to detail the charge. DOCTOR: Yes, my dear, and we are the accused, hmm! (MELLIUM appears on the monitor.) MELLIUM: (OOV: On monitor.) Doctor, Manyak and I believe your story. We've offered to speak in your defence but at least one of you must give evidence. DOCTOR: Of course. STEVEN: I must go. DOCTOR: What? (STEVEN stands but he is breathing heavily.) STEVEN: Doctor, I must. I'm getting stifled in here. I must go and do something, even if it's only to show them how stupid they are wasting time with trials and speeches. After all, the only important thing now is to let you organise finding a cure. DOCTOR: Very well then, if only they'll listen. MELLIUM: (OOV: On monitor.) They'll probably ask you to speak next, Doctor. DOCTOR: My dear, I only want to help! (The image vanishes. The door to the room opens and a MONOID enters. It gestures and STEVEN leaves the room. The DOCTOR and DODO turn back to the monitor on which the control deck is now shown, full of waiting Guardians.) [SCENE_BREAK] 14: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (The hearing has begun. BACCU approaches STEVEN who is held within a barred cage which is again covered with a plastic covering against the fever. ZENTOS presides from the COMMANDER'S dais.) BACCU: My contention is that it was no accident that this disaster has happened. I say that you came here intentionally - to spread the disease... STEVEN: But that's utter nonsense. I mean how can you possibly... BACCU: ...and that you are agents of the planet towards which this spaceship is proceeding. That you came here to destroy us. STEVEN: Why? We're human beings like you are. Well, why should we? ZENTOS: (Shouts.) There is the crux of the matter. Do you expect us to believe that nonsense, that you manage in that ridiculous machine called the TARDIS, have managed to travel through time? Guardians, Monoids, these beings, whatever they are, place a heavy strain on our credulity. STEVEN: Well that's not very difficult! If your medical records are anything to go by, this segment of time, far from being one of the most advanced in knowledge, is one of the worst! ZENTOS: (Standing in anger.) We can cope with all things known to the fifty-seventh segment of Earth life, but not with strange diseases brought by you - as agents of the intelligences that inhabit Refusis! STEVEN: Are you still on about that? I've told you before; we know nothing of that planet! ZENTOS: My instincts, every fibre of my being, tells me differently. STEVEN: And that, unfortunately, tells me only one thing. ZENTOS: What's that? (STEVEN is now sweating heavily.) STEVEN: That the nature of man, even in this day and age, hasn't altered at all. You still fear...the unknown, like everyone else before you. [SCENE_BREAK] 15: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM (The proceedings are being watched in the COMMANDER'S room. The old man himself still lies weakly on his bed.) COMMANDER: That's true! True! ZENTOS: (OOV: On monitor.) That won't stop me from coping with it. [SCENE_BREAK] 16: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK STEVEN: How? By destroying us? By ejecting us into space? ZENTOS: If that is the voted finding of this hearing - yes! MANYAK: Steven, prove to us your good faith. Would your friend, the Doctor, have any knowledge how to deal with this fever? STEVEN: Yes, he probably would if you'd let him out of that cell so that he had a chance to experiment. ZENTOS: Yes, of course he would! He would love that...and by such means spread the fever even further and faster. Perhaps even kill one of the Guardians. (He turns to the Guardians.) ZENTOS: Are we to be fooled by such tricks? (The angry Guardians shout "No!".) ZENTOS: Are we to be taken in by such nonsense? (They shout "No!" again.) ZENTOS: Do these creatures have the outward appearance of human beings? (The Guardians are now extremely angry.) 2nd GUARDIAN: They are enemies - they should be punished! 1st GUARDIAN: That's right! Let them be taken to the ejector chamber! They must be thrown ... (STEVEN is now hit hard by the fever.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM DODO: Doctor, look at Steven. Is he all right? DOCTOR: (Worried.) I hope so, my dear, I hope so. DODO: Do you think he may have caught the fever? DOCTOR: Well, I'm afraid he may have. It appears that this virus is more virulent than I suspected. [SCENE_BREAK] 18: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (MANYAK steps forward and tries to shout over the raging Guardians.) MANYAK: Guardians listen! (His words have no effect. He walks over and stands beneath the COMMANDER'S dais.) MANYAK: Guardians, listen to me. This is a court of law! (ZENTOS stands up and shouts.) ZENTOS: Let him speak! (The Guardians fall silent.) ZENTOS: This is a fair hearing. MANYAK: My view for reason in this matter is simple and direct. The Doctor and his companions have not denied that they brought the fever among us. They said it was an accident, and I believe them. 1st GUARDIAN: But that's nonsense...! MANYAK: For the simple reason that if they were in fact agents of the Refusians, they could have a...achieved their objective in a much simpler way. One in which they would not have exposed themselves to this danger. 2nd GUARDIAN: But they're Refusians! 1st GUARDIAN: That's no argument! MANYAK: Then I have another; the fever is here. We have no answer for it and it might well be that they are the only ones who can cure it. ZENTOS: Our micro-virologists may still find an answer. MANYAK: Perhaps...but if we were to agree that the Doctor and his friends could, what is the value in expelling them from the spaceship? [SCENE_BREAK] 19: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM COMMANDER: (Still watching the monitor.) None at all. If Manyak and my daughter can see that, why can't they? [SCENE_BREAK] 20: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (As the Guardians start to discuss the verdict amongst themselves, BACCU runs forward and joins ZENTOS on the COMMANDER'S dais. He turns to the crowd.) BACCU: Guardians, listen to me! I've just had news of another disaster; one of our kind, one of the Guardians has died from the fever. (The crowd is shocked.) [SCENE_BREAK] 21: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (The DOCTOR'S face shows the trouble that they now find themselves in.) [SCENE_BREAK] 22: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK ZENTOS: Do you want to hear more? Never mind the arguments of the defender because now they are nothing - now that one of our own kind had died. So Guardians, what is your answer to the charge? Do you find the prisoner guilty or not guilty? (They all shout "Guilty!" except for MANYAK and MELLIUM who give the opposite verdict but their cries are drowned out.) ZENTOS: Is it your vote that we exact the full penalty of the special galactic law? (The cries are mostly "Yes" with the defendants shouting "No". ZENTOS jumps to his feet.) ZENTOS: So be it! They shall be taken from this place and expelled from the ship...and the privilege of execution, in that they were the first to be struck by the fever, will be granted to the Monoids. MELLIUM: But the verdict is wrong! MANYAK: Yes, but it is the voted verdict. There is nothing we can do about it. (Several MONOID'S approach the cage as STEVEN collapses against the bars of the cage.) [SCENE_BREAK] 23: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM DODO: Doctor, something is wrong with Steven! [SCENE_BREAK] 24: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (STEVEN falls to the floor of the cage...) [SCENE_BREAK] 25: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (Two masked Guardians help STEVEN to the bench in the room. They are about to leave when...) DOCTOR: Stop! I demand fair play! This young man is as ill as anyone of your own people. How do you expect him to plead in his own defence, hmm? (ZENTOS' voice calls out from the wall monitor. The DOCTOR spins round to look at his image.) ZENTOS: (OOV: On monitor.) The verdict of the court was passed that you are guilty. [SCENE_BREAK] 26: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK ZENTOS: You and your party have been condemned by an overwhelming majority and your sentence is ejection into space. (The DOCTOR similarly appears on ZENTOS' monitor.) DOCTOR: (OOV: On monitor.) Are you aware that you might be committing your entire community to a slow extinction? Trust me! Allow me, help me to find a new cure for this fever of yours. ZENTOS: The verdict has been given. (He switches the monitor off. He starts to walk off the dais but sees MANYAK and BACCU waiting for him.) ZENTOS: Well? MANYAK: You are right, of course. BACCU: Of course, there's no question. MANYAK: But can we not afford to take a chance? After all, the old man was the first to diagnose the illness. For that reason alone, he may be able to find a cure. ZENTOS: No. Sentence will be carried out. Baccu, assemble the Monoids, they may proceed. BACCU: Very well. (BACCU steps down and signals to a group of MONOIDS. They start to make their way off the control deck when the voice of the COMMANDER echoes around the chamber.) COMMANDER: (OOV.) Wait! This has gone far enough. [SCENE_BREAK] 27: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM (MELLIUM and RHOS support the COMMANDER as he sits up from his sick bed and uses his last vestiges of energy to re-assert his authority. MELLIUM holds up a microphone.) COMMANDER: Zentos, this is your Commander speaking. I order you to release the travellers immediately. They will be given every facility for research. They may be our only hope. See to it. [SCENE_BREAK] 28: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (ZENTOS switches on a communicator on the COMMANDER'S dais.) ZENTOS: But the hearing decided differently, Commander. These people are dangerous! [SCENE_BREAK] 29: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM COMMANDER: Don't argue with me Zentos! Those are my instructions. In case you are right, I wish the Doctor to use his young friend as a guinea pig. If he succeeds in curing him, then I will set aside the verdict of the court. Now - proceed. (Exhausted, the old man lies back.) MELLIUM: Thank you father. [SCENE_BREAK] 30: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (Defeated, ZENTOS flicks off the switch.) ZENTOS: Very well. If he has not decided wisely, we will not live to know it. (ZENTOS nods to confirm the order and strides off angrily.) [SCENE_BREAK] 31: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (The DOCTOR has been watching these undertakings on the monitor. He turns to two masked Guardians.) DOCTOR: (Energetically.) At last we're near a solution! We must waste no more time. Now you two, get the boy up to the table. (They lift an unconscious STEVEN off the couch and carry him across to the table. As the DOCTOR starts to write in a notepad, the door opens and MELLIUM runs in, taking off her mask.) MELLIUM: Is there anything we can do to help, Doctor? DOCTOR: Yes, cover him, we must keep him warm at once. MELLIUM: Warm? But he's already sweating with the fever in the same way that my father is? DOCTOR: My dear young lady, please do as you're told! Now, where is that other young woman I want? DODO: (Stepping forward.) Here I am Doctor. (The DOCTOR rips a sheet out of his notepad and passes it to DODO.) DOCTOR: Oh good, now look here - go to the TARDIS and bring these things back for me will you? (MELLIUM has taken the coverings off the wall couch.) MELLIUM: Will these do? DOCTOR: Yes, certainly, fine, fine. (She takes them over to STEVEN.) DODO: (To the DOCTOR.) How will I know where to find them? DOCTOR: Well open your eyes, my dear child, otherwise you'll...you won't be any use to me will you? DODO: Okay. (She turns to leave.) DOCTOR: (Laughs, then.) What did you say? DODO: I said "Okay". DOCTOR: Yes, I thought you did. Now once this crisis is over, I...I'm going to teach you to speak English. (BACCU and RHOS are also in the room.) BACCU: I shall go with her. DOCTOR: Right, off you go. (They leave.) RHOS: Doctor, our virologists are willing to give you all the help you need. Can you describe the virus responsible? DOCTOR: Yes, I... MELLIUM: (Interrupting.) I've wrapped Steven warmly. Is there anything else I can do? DOCTOR: Yes, now I want you to find all the sick people in this spaceship and give them the same treatment. MELLIUM: You mean keep them warm? DOCTOR: Exactly, my child, yes. MELLIUM: Very well. DOCTOR: Oh, and my child? MELLIUM: Doctor? DOCTOR: That also includes your father. (She leaves the room. The DOCTOR turns to BACCU.) DOCTOR: Now, this germ...this germ is... [SCENE_BREAK] 32: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (ZENTOS watches silently as DODO, BACCU and four MONOIDS return laden from their trip to the TARDIS. Nearby, RHOS and MANYAK talk.) RHOS: The vaccine was used as long ago as the twentieth century and then was lost in the time of the primal wars. BACCU: Is that what he's trying to find now? The old vaccine? RHOS: Yes, he says it's, er, a natural compound derived from animal membranes. We only need to take single specimens and then we can release the animals again, but it means that a large scale hunt has to be organised out there in the jungle. BACCU: Well, leave that to me. I'll collect a party of Guardians and Monoids. Tell us what animals you need. RHOS: Well, we need two... [SCENE_BREAK] 33: INT. ARK. JUNGLE (The hunt takes place. One MONOID sees to a near-unconscious Elephant whilst another deals with a lizard, collecting the specimens in test tubes.) [SCENE_BREAK] 34: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (The DOCTOR works on the specimens, assisted by a masked MONOID.) DOCTOR: Yes, I know I'm a bit of a quack, but...the combination of these two membrane fluids, a little at a time, should do the trick. (The MONOID passes the DOCTOR a test tube before he need ask for it.) DOCTOR: Ah, thank you, thank you. You know, you're far more knowledgeable than most people realise, aren't you? (Laughs.) (The DOCTOR adds to the contents and then takes the test tube over to STEVEN, who is being nursed by DODO.) DOCTOR: Now, my dear Dodo, how is he? DODO: He's conscious Doctor, but only just. Are you going to try it now? DOCTOR: Well, I don't see why not, yes now, where is that sterilised postule? (He turns. The MONOID is already there with a tray on which rests the postule. The DOCTOR starts to prepare the drug for STEVEN.) DOCTOR: Oh, thank you, thank you, yes, you know I don't know what I would do without you. (Laughs.) DODO: Do you really think it will work? DOCTOR: Well, I don't see why not, my dear, providing I've...mixed these properly. Now... DODO: And what if you haven't? DOCTOR: Oh, don't let's...don't let that cross our minds, for heavens sake. (The DOCTOR places a patch over STEVEN'S arm.) DOCTOR: Now then, here we are. DODO: Don't you have to squirt it into his arm? DOCTOR: What with a hypodermic needle? Good gracious, no. That went out a long time ago. (STEVEN stirs faintly.) DOCTOR: There we are. Now all we have to do is to wait and watch. (To the MONOID.) Come along. DODO: Where are you going? DOCTOR: I'm going to treat the others precisely the same way as I've treated Steven. DODO: Isn't that a bit dodgy? I mean, he was supposed to be the Guinea pig, wasn't he? DOCTOR: Well it's going to be much dodgier my child, as you say, if I just sat and did nothing. (Laughs.) Come along. (The DOCTOR and the MONOID leave as DODO returns to STEVEN.) [SCENE_BREAK] 35: INT. ARK. COMMANDER'S ROOM (Watched by MELLIUM and RHOS, the DOCTOR treats the COMMANDER in the same way. The old man's breathing is very feverish.) DOCTOR: There now - just relax...and rest. MELLIUM: Is there anything further I can do? DOCTOR: No, it's just a matter of time, my dear. (To the MONOID.) Come along. [SCENE_BREAK] 36: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (The DOCTOR and his MONOID assistant walk out of the COMMANDER'S room and past a waiting ZENTOS. BACCU walks up to ZENTOS.) MANYAK: How long must we wait? BACCU: They weren't sure. Apparently once the injection has been given, there's no way to hurry the response of the patient. MANYAK: Zentos is waiting like a vulture. But just in case the treatment doesn't work... (They turn and look at him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 37: INT. ARK. TRAVELLER'S ROOM (STEVEN is feverish. Whilst DODO watches, the DOCTOR consults a large book.) DOCTOR: Yes, I, er, I think I've given him the right treatment, hmm. (Laughs.) DODO: Doctor, it's along time now since you gave him that stuff and the fever only seems to be getting worse. DOCTOR: Hmm? Well, it's about an hour, my dear. (He puts the book down and walks over to the table.) DOCTOR: Seems to be reacting quite normally, yes, he's fighting it. (Laughs.) (STEVEN gives out a gasp of breath and his head falls back. The DOCTOR feels his brow.) DODO: Has something gone wrong? DOCTOR: The fever's down...and the temperatures dropped, hmm! DODO: You mean? DOCTOR: I mean he's going to be all right, my dear. (Laughs.) (DODO runs excitedly out of the room...) [SCENE_BREAK] 38: INT. ARK. CORRIDOR (...and along a corridor...) [SCENE_BREAK] 39: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (...arriving at the control deck. She runs past a group of Guardians up to MANYAK and BACCU.) DODO: It's all right! Steven's much better - everything's going to be all right! (The Guardians give a cry of relief and start to chat amongst themselves. DODO runs to the COMMANDER'S room, past ZENTOS.) MANYAK: (To BACCU.) I told you it would be. (The DOCTOR walks onto the command deck and up to ZENTOS.) DOCTOR: You have nothing further to worry about, sir. The sick have been tended to and the others immunised against further attack. ZENTOS: (Smiling.) Thank you Doctor. So you were right after all. (DODO and MELLIUM run back.) DODO: Doctor, the Commander's fever's gone down so he's going to be all right. DOCTOR: Oh! Splendid, splendid! (The Guardians again start to excitedly talk, but they are interrupted by BACCU who points up at the large monitor screen.) BACCU: Look! The scan of Earth! (The chamber falls silent as they all look at the image on the screen. The planet Earth, smoke pouring out of it, falls through space to its final doom...) ZENTOS: The last moment has come... [SCENE_BREAK] 40: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (LATER) (Later, the TARDIS crew say their goodbyes to the COMMANDER and the Guardians at the base of the unfinished statue.) DOCTOR: Now, you can c...continue with the building of your statue and when it's finished, I'm sure it's going to look very beautiful. MELLIUM: Yes, our descendants will know its meaning when they put the finishing touches to it. STEVEN: In seven hundred years time. MELLIUM: Yes, in seven hundred years time. DOCTOR: Well, we must be off. Goodbye sir. COMMANDER: Goodbye. (They shake hands.) DOCTOR: (To MELLIUM.) Goodbye, my dear. MELLIUM: Goodbye Doctor. DODO: (To the COMMANDER.) Goodbye COMMANDER: Goodbye (As DODO and STEVEN continue to say their goodbyes, the DOCTOR walks past a waiting transporter and up to ZENTOS.) ZENTOS: Doctor, for the fact that I mistrust you...misjudged you, I'm sorry. DOCTOR: Remember your journey is very important, young man, therefore you must travel with understanding as well as hope. Goodbye Zentos. ZENTOS: Goodbye Doctor. (They shake hands. The DOCTOR climbs aboard the transporter where STEVEN and DODO wait for him. The MONOID drives it off and the travellers wave to the Guardians as they go.) [SCENE_BREAK] 41: INT. ARK. JUNGLE (The transporter travels through the jungle and comes to rest outside the TARDIS. The three travellers get off and enter the ship, DODO waving to the MONOID as they go. The door shuts and the TARDIS dematerialises. The MONOID reverses the transporter away.) [SCENE_BREAK] 42: INT. ARK. JUNGLE (The TARDIS re-materialises - back in the same jungle. The DOCTOR walks out of the ship as DODO calls to him from within.) DODO: (OOV: Inside the TARDIS.) Can we go out now? DOCTOR: You really must let me go first child. (He steps into their familiar surroundings.) DOCTOR: Oh... (STEVEN steps out, followed by DODO.) DOCTOR: Well, that's strange. Something must have gone wrong. It appears we've landed back in the same place. STEVEN: How? DOCTOR: (Indicating the jungle.) Take a look at this, my boy. Isn't that extraordinary? Well now, that's inexplicable. [SCENE_BREAK] 43: INT. ARK. CONTROL DECK (DODO runs onto a quiet control deck, followed by STEVEN.) DODO: Mellium! Baccu! They can't be far away, can they? STEVEN: I don't know. It depends on how long ago it was. DODO: What? STEVEN: Look, there's nobody here, is there? (The DOCTOR catches up.) DODO: We've only been gone a few seconds. Mellium! Baccu! (She runs off, but almost instantly calls out in alarm.) DODO: Doctor, Steven, look! DOCTOR: What is it, my dear, what have you found, hmm? (They join DODO who is gazing up at the statue.) DODO: The statue! They've finished the statue! (The completed stone structure looms over them. But where the plan showed a human head there is now the head of a MONOID.)

The Doctor and his companions Steven Taylor and Dodo Chaplet arrive some ten million years into the future, on board a generation starshipwhich is carrying the last of humanity away from an Earth that is about to fall into the Sun. However, the cold that Dodo has could prove devastating to these future humans and their servants, the Monoids.

fd_Teen_Wolf_02x02

fd_Teen_Wolf_02x02_0

Isaac: Um - so far it's an "A" in French and a "B" minus in Econ. Mr. Lahey: Oh. What about chemistry? Isaac: I'm not sure. Uh, midterms are in a few days so it could go up. Mr. Lahey: Well, what's it at now? Isaac: The grade? Mr. Lahey: Uh, yeah. Isaac: Uh, I'm not sure. Mr. Lahey: But you just said it could go up. Isaac: I just - uh, I meant generally. Mr. Lahey: You wouldn't be lying to me, would you, Isaac? Isaac: No. Mr. Lahey: Then tell me your grade. Isaac: I just told you, I don't know. Mr. Lahey: You wanna take this little conversation downstairs? No? Then tell me the grade, son. Isaac: Dad, this semester's only half over. Mr. Lahey: Isaac? Isaac: There's plenty of time - Mr. Lahey: Isaac. Isaac: It's - it's a "D". Mr. Lahey: All right. It's a "D". I'm not angry. You know I'm gonna have to find a way to punish you though. You know, I have my responsibility as a parent. So we'll start with something simple, like, uh - Tell you what, you do the dishes and you clean up the kitchen, okay? Isaac: Yeah. Mr. Lahey: Good. Because I - I'd really like to see this place spotless. Know what I'm saying? You know? I mean this entire kitchen. Yeah! Yeah, absolutely - Spotless. Well, that was your fault. Isaac: You could have blinded me. Mr. Lahey: Shut up! It's a scratch! It's hardly even - Isaac. Isaac! Jackson: Freaks. Mr. Lahey: Isaac! Isaac! Isaac. Isaac? Isaac? Okay, that's enough. Let's go! That's it, grab your bike and let's go! Isaac? Holy - ! Aah! No! No! No! Aah! No! Aah! No! No! No! No! Allison: Hey. Scott: What are you doing? Allison: Just trying to find you. Scott: Did anyone see you leave? Allison: No. No one, I was careful. What's wrong? Is it the full moon tomorrow night? Scott: No. No, it's not that. Um, I just wanted to ask you some things. About your - um, your family. Actually, your grandfather. Allison: Okay, but I don't really know him. I mean, he's kind of just a guy who sends a check in the mail every year for my birthday. Scott: Does he know about me? About us? Allison: No, my dad hasn't said a thing. What is it? Did something else happen? Scott: We just need to be a lot more careful now. Allison: They're not gonna split us apart. Scott: Not us. Sure no one followed you? Allison: Totally, absolutely, 100 million percent sure. My parents are out, anyways. Scott: Out? Allison: Yeah, it's date night. Principal: Can I help you? Chris: Well, I hope so, Principal Thomas. As a concerned parent, uh, I was wondering - how long has it been since your last performance review? Principal: What? Chris: We were wondering. Victoria: Are you aware there's been an alarming drop in academic achievement and test scores over the past few semesters? Principal: Excuse me? Victoria: It's led the parents of Beacon Hills to the unfortunate conclusion that you may no longer be suited to the position of school principal. Principal: You can't fire me. Victoria: True. But we can torture you. Isaac: Derek? Derek! Derek: What's wrong? Isaac: My dad. I think he's dead. Derek: What did you do? Isaac: That's the thing. It wasn't me. Scott: I'm serious. It's not like the last full moon. I don't feel the same. Stiles: Oh, does that include the urge to maim and kill people like me? Scott: I swear I don't have the urge to maim and kill you. Stiles: You know, you say that now but then the full moon goes up and out come the fangs and the claws and there's a lot of howling and screaming and running everywhere, okay? And it's very stressful on me and so yes, I'm still locking you up. Scott: Okay, fine. But I do think I'm in more control now. Especially since things are good with Allison. Stiles: Okay, I'm aware of how good things are with Allison. Scott: They're really good. Stiles: I - thank you, I know. Scott: I mean, like, really good. Stiles: All right, I get it! Just please shut the hell up before I have the urge to maim and kill myself. Scott: All right, did you get something better than handcuffs this time? Stiles: Yeah, much better. Coach: Part of me wants to ask. The other part says knowing will be more disturbing than anything I could ever imagine. So - I'm gonna walk away. Stiles: That's good. That's a wise choice, coach. Stiles: You okay? Scott. Scott: There's another. In here, right now. Stiles: Another what? Scott: Another werewolf. Allison: You really don't remember anything? Lydia: They called it a fugue state, which is basically a way of saying "We have no idea why you can't remember running through the woods naked for two days." But personally, I don't care. I lost nine pounds. Allison: Are you ready for this? Lydia: Please. It's not like my aunt's a serial killer. Allison: Maybe it's the nine pounds. Scott: It was kind of like a scent, but I couldn't tell who it was. Stiles: What if you can get him one - on - one? Would that help? Scott: Yeah. Stiles: Okay. I think I got an idea. Matt: You need a digital camera? Jackson: Yeah. And something that can record in low light. All night long. Matt: What are you recording? Jackson: Something in low light. All night long. Do you have the camera or not? Matt: You have a hundred bucks? Jackson: I drive a Porsche. What do you think? Matt: I think your parents have a hundred bucks. Jackson: Just get me the camera. Stiles: I told coach you're switching with Danny for the day. Scott: But I hate playing goal. Stiles: Remember when I said I had an idea? This is the idea. Scott: Oh. Stiles: There we go. Scott: What's the idea? Stiles: I seriously don't understand how you survive without me sometimes. Coach: Let's go! Line it up! Faster! Make daddy proud. Scott: Here we go. Scott: Let me help you up. Coach: McCall! Scott: Yeah. Coach: Usually the goalie stays somewhere within the vicinity of the actual goal. Scott: Yes, coach. Coach: Let's try it again. Matt: What the hell, man? Scott: My bad, dude. Coach: McCall! The position's goal keeper. Not goal abandoner. Scott: Sorry, coach. Coach: Let's go! Coach: Stilinski, what the hell is wrong with your friend? Stiles: Uh, he's failing two classes. He's a little socially awkward and if you look close enough, his jaw line's kind of uneven. Coach: That's interesting. Let's fire it up. Danny: It's Armani. Scott: Huh? Danny: My aftershave. Armani. Scott: Oh. It's nice. Coach: McCall! You come out of that goal one more time and you'll be doing suicide runs till you die. It'll be the first ever suicide run that actually ends in a suicide. Got it? Scott: Yes, coach. Coach: Yeah. Jackson: Uh, coach, my shoulder's hurting. I'm gonna - I'm gonna sit this one out. Isaac: Don't tell them. Please don't tell them. Scott: His father's dead. They think he was murdered. Sheriff: Come on. Stiles: Are they saying he's a suspect? Scott: I'm not sure, why? Stiles: Because they can lock him in a holding cell for 24 hours. Scott: Like, overnight? Stiles: During the full moon. Scott: How good are these holding cells at holding people? Stiles: People, good. Werewolves, probably not that good. Scott: Stiles, remember when I said I don't have the urge to maim and kill? Stiles: Yeah. Scott: He does. Scott: Why would Derek choose Isaac? Stiles: Peter told me that if the bite doesn't turn you it could kill you. And maybe teenagers have a better chance of surviving. Scott: Doesn't being a teenager mean your dad can't hold him? Stiles: Well, not unless they have solid evidence. Or a witness. Wait. Danny. Where's Jackson? Danny: In the principal's office talking to your dad. Stiles: What? Why? Danny: Maybe because he lives across the street from Isaac. Scott: Witness. Stiles: We gotta get to the principal's office. Scott: How? Harris: Everyone please turn to page 73. Who in the hell did that? Sheriff: Listen to me, you're telling me that you knew Isaac's father was hitting him? Jackson: Hitting him? He was kicking the crap out of him. Sheriff: Did you ever say anything to anyone? A teacher, parents, anyone? Jackson: Nope. It's not my problem. Sheriff: No, no, of course not. You know, it's funny that the kids getting beaten up are always the ones who least deserve it. Jackson: Yeah. Wait, what? Sheriff: I think we're done here. Hi, Scott. Scott: H - yeah. Gerard: Boys. Come on in. [SCENE_BREAK] Gerard: Scott McCall. Academically not the most accomplished, but I see you have become quite the star athlete. Mr. Stilinski. Oh, perfect grades but little to no extracurriculars. Maybe you should try lacrosse. Stiles: Oh, actually I'm already - Gerard: Hold on. McCall. You're the Scott that was dating my granddaughter. Scott: We were dating but not anymore. Not dating, not seeing any of each other or doing anything with each other - At all. Gerard: Relax, Scott, you look like you're about to crack a cyanide pill with your teeth. Scott: Just a hard breakup. Gerard: Oh, that's too bad. You seem like a pretty nice kid to me. Now listen, guys. Yes, I am the principal, but I really don't want you to think of me as the enemy. Stiles: Heh, is that so? Gerard: However, this being my first day, I do need to support my teachers. So unfortunately someone is going to have to take the fall and stay behind for detention. Lydia: It's just - we haven't really talked since that night and well - Jackson, can you, like, look at me for half la second? They said if you hadn't found me and carried me back, I could have died. So I just - I wanted to say thank you. Jackson: Lydia, we're not getting back together. Lydia: What? Jackson: And just because I kept you from bleeding out on a field once, don't expect me to come running every time you start screaming. Lydia: I never said - Jackson: I'm not responsible for you. Okay? But I will give you one piece of advice. If I were you, I'd stay home tonight. Lydia: What does that mean? What's tonight? Jackson: It's a full moon. Derek: Get in. Scott: Are you serious? You did that. That's your fault. Derek: I know that. Now get in the car and help me. Scott: No, I've got a better idea. I'm gonna call a lawyer. Because a lawyer might actually have a chance at getting him out before the moon goes up. Derek: Not when they do a real search of the house. Scott: What do you mean? Derek: Whatever Jackson said to the cops, what's in the house is worse. A lot worse. Gerard: I'm not interested in whether they locked up a 16 - year - old kid. I'm interested in what's going to happen to that 16 - year - old when the moon hits its peak tonight. Do we have proof? Chris: Is the next step killing him? Gerard: The next step is eliminating the threat. Do we have proof? Chris: I haven't been in history class for a while, but I'm pretty sure straight - up genocide hasn't worked out too often. Gerard: Do we have proof or not? Chris: Not irrefutable. But not insignificant. The driver's side door of Lahey's car was pried off. Gerard: Pried off? Chris: Ripped off. Matt: I'm starting to feel a little weird about this. Jackson: No, no, no, no. What you're feeling is a hundred dollars richer. Give me the camera and go buy yourself another fancy lens or light meter or whatever gives your photography geeks a hard - on. Matt: This doesn't have anything to do with Allison, does it? I saw you two at the dance the other night and I kind of figured that you two were, you know, together. Jackson: Aw, you have a little thing for Allison, Matt? A little - a little crush? Matt: No. Jackson: You think I'm gonna waste my time by doing something as unbelievably ordinary as making a s*x tape? Matt: Then what are you doing? Jackson: Documenting history. My history. And I want to be able to see it happening. All of it. You'll get it back tomorrow. Scott: If Isaac didn't kill his father, who did? Derek: I don't know yet. Scott: Then how do you know he's telling the truth? Derek: Because I trust my senses. And it's a combination of them. Not just your sense of smell. Scott: You saw the lacrosse thing today. Derek: Yeah. Scott: Did it look that bad? Derek: Yeah. Allison: Sorry. Chris: Allison? Gerard: Come in. We'd like to talk to you. Allison: I'm supposed to study with Lydia, I really don't have time to chat. Chris: Actually, that's who we want to talk to you about, sweetheart. Derek: You wanna learn? Let's start now. Scott: What's down there? Derek: Motive. Scott: And what am I looking for? Derek: Follow your senses. Scott: What happened down here? Derek: The kind of thing that leaves an impression. Open it. Stiles: Hey, sorry, Harris literally just let me out of detention. Literally. And he had my phone the whole frickin' time. Allison: Well, we need to do something right now. They were asking me all these questions about Lydia and how she was bitten by Peter, and then they sent this guy out. Stiles: Wait, what guy? Allison: He was dressed as a Sheriff's deputy. Stiles: They're sending him to the station for Isaac. Allison: He was also carrying this box with something on it, like, um, like a carving or something. Stiles: What was it? Allison: Hold on, hold on. It's in one of these books. I'm taking a picture. Did you get it? Stiles: Yeah, wolfsbane. Allison: What does that mean? Stiles: It means they're gonna kill him. Scott: This is why he said yes to you. Derek: Everyone wants power. Scott: If we help you, then you have to stop. You can't just go around turning people into werewolves. Derek: I can if they're willing. Scott: Did you tell Isaac about the Argents? About being hunted? Derek: Yes, and he still asked. Scott: Then he's an idiot. Derek: And you're the idiot dating Argent's daughter. Yeah. I know your little secret. And if I know, how long do you think it's gonna take for them to find out? You saw what happens to an omega. With me, you learn how to use all of your senses. With me, you learn control. Even on a full moon. Scott: If I'm with you, I lose her. Derek: You're gonna lose her anyway. You know that. Scott: Wait. I'm not part of your pack. But I want him out. He's my responsibility too. Derek: Why? Because he's one of us? Scott: Because he's innocent. Stiles: Hey, did you slow him down? Allison: You could say that. Stiles: All right, well, uh, I'm headed to the station right now. Allison: Where's Scott? Stiles: Isaac's. Allison: Does he have a plan? Stiles: Yeah, but not a very good one. And unfortunately we don't really have time to come up with anything better. Allison: Scott? Are you sure we have to do this? Scott: Yes. Allison: Where? Scott: Please. I don't want to hurt you. Stiles: Okay, now the keys to every cell are in a password protected lockbox in my father's office. The problem is getting past the front desk. Derek: I'll distract her. Stiles: Whoa, whoa, whoa - you? You're not going in there. I'm taking my hand off. Derek: I was exonerated. Stiles: You're still a person of interest. Derek: An innocent person. Stiles: An - you? Yeah, right! Okay, fine. What's your plan? Derek: To distract her. Stiles: Uh - huh. How? By punching her in the face? Unh. Derek: Heh, by talking to her. Stiles: Okay, all right. Give me a sample. What are you gonna open with? Dead silence. That should work beautifully. Any other ideas? Derek: I'm thinking about punching you in the face. Deputy: Good evening, how can I help - you? Derek: Hi. Deputy: Hi. Derek: Um, I had a question. Um, sorry I'm a little - a little thrown. I wasn't really expecting someone - Deputy: Like me? Derek: Oh, I was gonna say "so incredibly beautiful" but, yeah, I guess that'd be the same thing. Allison: It's done. It's locked. Scott: Go. Allison: Scott, I can't - Scott: Just go! Stiles: Oh, no. Stiles: Oh. Uh, just looking, um - Oh, sh - Scott: Allison. Allison! Allison! Stiles: How did you do that? Derek: I'm the Alpha. Allison: Come on. Come on! Allison: What the hell was that? Scott: I don't know. Stiles: Uh, he did it. Mrs. Whittemore: Jackson, what is it? What happened? Jackson: Nothing happened. Nothing at all.

Isaac's father is murdered by a strange creature. Scott discovers Isaac is now a werewolf. Isaac is then taken into custody for his father's murder. When it is revealed that the werewolf hunters are going to kill Isaac, Scott, Stiles and Derek plan to save him, as he is innocent. At the jail, Isaac transforms and breaks out, advancing on Stiles. Derek, being the Alpha werewolf, is able to force him into submission. Jackson, who had set up a video camera overnight to record his transformation, is upset to learn that nothing happened.

fd_Degrassi_Next_Generation_04x19

fd_Degrassi_Next_Generation_04x19_0

In the gymnasium, people are setting up for a blood drive Marco: So for tomorrow Ellie I need you to hand out stickers, okay? Craig I need you to pack the blood bags. And Alex, Alex! Alex: This I will not be wearing. Marco: It's for TV, Caitlin Ryan's community show? Look when people see Degrassi, I want them to think cute and cuddly. Alex: I'm going to clobber you. Marco: That's not cuddly. And as a president speaking to his vice... Alex: Alright. Calm down. Everything has to be perfect. Ellie: She's right. What you've done for the school this year, ever consider running a second term? Alex: (dancing around in the mascot head) Four more years! Four more years! Marco: I can't. I was thinking of picking up a few extra credits this summer. This way, I can graduate after first semester's done, maybe even move in with Dylan before university. My boyfriend? Alright you guys know I'm gay, right? Ellie: Um I'm stuck on graduating early. Craig: I'm on move in with Dylan. Marco: Guys it's not that big a deal! Okay it's huge. Outside Degrassi, there's a sign that says 'blood drive today' Dylan: So you'll call before you come over for the party? Marco? Today's gonna go fine. Marco: There's been a bee in this car for the entire ride. Fear is my friend. Dylan: You know a year ago you would have jumped out of a moving vehicle. Marco: Yeah well, a year ago I wasn't with you. (They kiss.) Marco: Go. Back to your dorm. I'll see you tonight at the party. In the gymnasium, Spike is giving blood Spike: It's like breastfeeding, only out of your arm. Emma: I think it's faster if you're quiet. Caitlin: (on camera) So you inherited a school where a student died and another paralyzed. Ms. Hatzilakos: Not the best situation to assume Principal, I agree. Caitlin: And yet you've managed to turn it all around. Ms. Hatzilakos: Oh no. Not me! Marco is the hero here. Organizing the dances, the assemblies, that's where the work has been. Caitlin: You donated yet Marco? Marco: Well I'm planning... (Alex jumps on him in the Panther suit.) Marco: Alex! Stop tackling me! Caitlin: Uh cut! Ms. Hatzilakos: So when is this gonna air? Caitlin: Eight tonight and I wanna add shots of Marco donating, when you're recovered. At the dot, Spinner is working and Jay is tapping a spoon against a glass Spinner: If I'm still serving you ten years from now kill me, all right? Jay: Well study hard and stay in school. Oh right! You got us expelled. Spinner: Here you go ladies. Uh Clare will be with you in a moment to take your order. Old lady: We asked for lemon with our water. Spinner: Uh, you can't bring a dog in here. Old lady: I didn't hear complaints. Ladies? We'll have the lunch menu instead. Spinner: I'm going off shift, so Clare will... Old lady: And lemon for the water and a bowl for Baby Bear here. So she can have some too, yes! Back in the gymnasium, Marco is about to donate Marco: So if I pass out and start drooling, swear you'll stop filming? Nurse Davis: Mr. Del Rossi? Could you please ask them to stop filming for just a minute? Caitlin: Uh we're not shooting the whole giving of blood. We're just gonna shoot a few frames of the President. Nurse Davis: I'm sorry Ms. Ryan. Marco: Is there some kind of problem? Nurse Davis: Uh there's a question here that you answered yes beside. Marco: It asks, if I'm male and if I've had...with another male. Nurse Davis: Yes, if you've had s*x. Marco: So? Nurse Davis: Well it's policy you have to understand, um but I can't let you be a donor. In the principal's office, Spinner is holding a flower pot Ms. Hatzilakos: You shouldn't be here Gavin. Spinner: I, I didn't make an appointment. I was afraid you wouldn't see me. I just want you to know this being expelled, I'm not taking it like it's a vacation. I've been keeping up in my textbooks. Ms. Hatzilakos: You were supposed to return those. Spinner: But I need them to write exams. Ms. Hatzilakos: You don't get to do that. Spinner: So that's it? I just lose my whole year? Ms. Hatzilakos: I'm willing to offer summer school. Spinner: But that only gives me two credits. That's not even enough to graduate. I mean that's a whole year of my life I have to do over. That's not fair! Ms. Hatzilakos: What's not fair is that Rick Murray is dead as an indirect result of your bullying. Spinner: I need to finish my year Ms. H! Ms. Hatzilakos: No. (Spinner throws the flower in the garbage and leaves.) In the gymnasium Marco: (On his cell) Dylan? Hey it's me. Look just please call me, whenever. I'm here. (He walks over to Ellie, Craig & Alex.) Craig: Why is your blood any more risky than ours? Ellie: Don't they test everything anyway? Marco: There's nothing wrong with me. I've only been with Dylan, he's only been with me. Even then we were totally safe! Alex: So stop whining. Start complaining. There's your soapbox. Use it! Marco: Caitlin! Hey! Caitlin: Hey. Marco: How's this for a story? Prejudice and homophobia at local high school. Caitlin: I'd say we're on you. Marco: Nurse Davis? Hey. Nurse Davis: Yeah? Marco: Hi. Nurse Davis: Hi. Marco: I, I want, look I want to ask why blood management refuses gay people from giving blood. Nurse Davis: Um, um well it's policy. I'm not a spokesperson so I can't really comment further. Marco: Fine. (To the camera) My name's Marco del Rossi, Student Council President. Today a student was denied as a blood donor because of his sexuality. Nurse Davis: That's not the reason. Marco: Then what is? Nurse Davis: Well there is, within the gay community, there is an increased risk of HIV infection. Marco: Saying that is lumping up all gay people as diseased. I listened in health class and anybody with a pulse can get HIV. Nurse Davis: Yes but... Ms. Hatzilakos: Marco? Please? (She stops the filming) Thank you. Thank you. Look this blood drive, you should be so proud of yourself for everything you've done. Look at all these people. Marco: My whole point is that I'm supposed to be one of them! Outside Degrassi, Jay is trying to steal a bike and kicks it Spinner: Hey! Jay: You want a kick, too? Spinner: That's my bike, goof-bag. Jay: Yeah well it's your fault I'm so bored! Spinner: So? I'm stuck with you! Haven't I been punished enough? Jay: Not yet. Spinner: Know what... bike stealing? It's kid's stuff. But real stealing from Degrassi... At Dylan's dorm, Marco walks into his room and sees Dylan making out with another guy and bolts Dylan: Marco! Marco wait! Marco: No. Dylan: About Eric, I meant to tell you. He's a friend from Psych class. Marco: There's other ways, better ways of breaking up Dylan! Dylan: Who's breaking up? Honey I'm in university now and there are people here, really interesting people that, that I really like. Marco: Oh yeah like Eric. Dylan: I love you and I don't want to stop seeing you. What I'd like to do is open things up a bit. You know see other people. (Marco shoves Dylan and leaves.) Outside Degrassi Marco: (on his cell) He wants to open things up. Ellie: (on her cell) He's a colossal jerk. Marco: (Sees his friends and closes his phone) It's so humiliating. First I get rejected as a blood donor, now by Dylan. Maybe the blood people were right. (Alex smacks Marco on his head.) Marco: What is wrong with you? Alex: My ex, formerly known as Jay Hogart, screwed around with every girl at this school. It's not a gay thing. Promiscuity, it's a guy thing. Craig: Hey. Didn't I hear that you clocked Amy for being equally trampy? Ellie: Oh and how's Ash, Craig? Or are you back with Manny? It's hard to tell, especially when you secretly dated them at the same time. Craig: Let's just call it a people thing. Ellie: Let's call it a choice. Monogamy wow, what a difficult concept. Marco: I just want my boyfriend back. Craig: He's got a party tonight right? Well then back is what we'll get him. [SCENE_BREAK] At night, inside Degrassi (Spinner and Jay were hiding in cupboards until the janitor left.) At Dylan's dorm Craig: Girls and boys? I didn't think Dylan's dorm would be quite so co-ed. Marco: You see him yet? Craig: Who? Marco: Dylan! Dylan: Hey! I'm really happy you came. Marco: Yeah? That's good... Craig: I'm gonna go uh see what they're stocking for pop. Gentlemen... Dylan: Come on. In Degrassi (Jay and Spinner are throwing toilet paper around in the gym, then stacking a bunch of chairs in the hall and just goofing around.) At the party Marco: Craig um look. Everything's unfolding pretty good so if you don't want to you don't have to stay! Craig: Are you kidding?! It's eight o'clock. Dylan: What's eight o'clock? Marco: Oh Caitlin Ryan! Degrassi! Me at the blood drive. Can I? Thanks. (He turns on the TV) Caitlin: (On that TV) You inherited a school where a student died, another paralyzed. Ms. Hatzilakos: (On the TV) Not the best situation to assume Principal, I agree. Caitlin: (On the TV) And yet you've managed to turn it around. Ms. Hatzilakos: (On the TV) Oh no. Not me! Marco is the hero here. Organizing the assemblies, the dances, that's where the work has been. Marco: Ah tell me my head doesn't look that big. Craig: Your hair, that's what's big. Dylan: It looks great. You look great. Caitlin: (On the TV) And so Degrassi has risen from the ashes of a tumultuous school year thanks to this week's local hero Marco Del Rossi. Marco: Wait. No wait. Wait for it. I think this is it. Caitlin: (On the TV) I'm Caitlin Ryan. Marco: That's it? No there's more. There's them not letting me give blood and then I- Eric: Dylan? We're toasting to summer with kamikazes! Dylan: Wait a second. Marco: It's nothing. Go. Kamikaze. Whatever. Dylan: I'll be right back. Marco: Dylan got me out of the closet last year. Yet here I was, my turn to make him proud. What I should be doing is making him jealous. Craig: Uh... Back at Degrassi, Spinner finds the yearbooks Spinner: What do we have here? Degrassi: A year of memories. Jay: I said something worth something. I always like counting how many times I'm in this thing. The way I see it the less, the better. Oh crap. One. The last thing I want to see is me smiling goofy and hanging off my bestest friend. No. Two. I'm a freak! A failure. Nothing compared to you though, I mean you're, you're all through this thing. (Spinner sees a bunch of pics with him and his friends and throws the book down.) Jay: You alright there, Spinster? Spinner: Follow me. Grab some more. At the party Marco: Hi. Hi, I'm Marco. Mike: Mike. Marco: Mike! So uh Mike! I was thinking of coming here next year. I was actually thinking about residence. But so far the only room I've seen is Dylan's. Mike: You want like a tour? Marco: Yeah, no a tour would be great and maybe I could see your room? You know to compare. Mike: Okay, um it's two floors down, 403. Just give me a sec to clean up okay? Marco: Okay. I'll see you in a bit...Mike. Mike: Marco... At Degrassi, Spinner Jay: Yo where'd you disappear? Spinner: Science lab. I got fluid of the lighter kind. (He starts pouring the fluid on the yearbooks and pulls out a lighter.) Jay: Seriously it's bonfire night? Look I know math wasn't your strongest subject, but yearbooks plus fire equals the whole school up in flames. Oh yeah and us in jail. Put the toy away, flip-head. Spinner: You're stopping me? (Jay smacks the lighter out of his hands.) Jay: Shocking but true. Spinner: You're a freak in the same way that I am. Jay: Yeah well at least I'm not torching the school. (Jay smacks the lighter away from Spinner and the guys start fighting.) Jay: You want your former friends to suffer?! Huh? Do you? Spinner: I want 'em back. Jay: Listen as your friend substitute, I'm telling you. This isn't the way. It's not. Spinner: I just want 'em back. Jay: Come on man we got to clean this up. In the stairwell at Dylan's dorm Craig: You know you are a great guy. The most honest, down-to-earth, nicest person that I know. You're a little short, but that just adds to the cuteness. That I would find you to be. If you were a girl or I was not a guy. (Points to himself) Is not gay. Just tell me this is helping. Marco: You're telling me what I really want to hear. I appreciate it, thanks. If you want to help tell me I'm an idiot. Craig: You're an idiot? Marco: I can't go downstairs. I can't stay here. I can't talk to Dylan. What do I do?! Dylan: Marco? (Marco kisses Craig so that Dylan can see.) Dylan: I um, wow. Craig: So when in doubt you kiss Craig?! Marco: I gotta settle this with Dylan. Craig: Yeah you do! You really, really do! (Marco leaves and pulls Dylan out of the party.) Marco: I love you. Dylan: Likewise, but what was that? Marco: Dylan a lot of things aren't making sense right now. Dylan: So what do you want me to say? Marco: It made you jealous? Dylan: It was Craig! Marco: I don't want you to see other people. I don't like it and I'm not gonna like it and I'm not gonna feel bad that it bugs me. Dylan: It bugs you? Marco: It bugs me. Dylan: It doesn't have to okay? How I feel about you, this changes none of that. Marco: That's fine and okay. But you see it changes how I, how I feel about me. Dylan: My freedom. That's important to me right now. I can't give that up. Marco: Then you and me? I can't. And it's over. (Marco leaves crying.) In Ms. Hatzilakos' office Spinner: Ms. H? Ms. Hatzilakos: Gavin I don't have time to argue. Spinner: You mentioned summer school. Ms. Hatzilakos: I offered. You declined. Spinner: Uh then what if I take it at another school or by correspondence and make the credits up that way? Could I come back next fall? There, there are two things that I want: to finish school and to get my friends back. But someone, someone's got to give me a chance. Please? Ms. Hatzilakos: Here are the forms and summer school schedule, aka your chance. Gavin? Don't screw it up. At the news station Caitlin: Hey Marco! Marco: Hey! So the blood drive, it was a huge success. Thank you so much for covering it. Caitlin: My pleasure. Marco: I just had a question about the scene I started in the gym? Are you gonna air that at a different time or...? Caitlin: Actually some people here would rather bury that part of it. Marco: Oh. Okay. Caitlin: Uh no it's not okay, actually. I'm sick of seeing AIDS being viewed as a solely homosexual disease. I've tried to do something about it before. Last year I even went to Africa. One word, educating. You know if you're interested in volunteering, I've got some friends we could talk to. Marco: Yeah sure! I'm interested. Caitlin: Interested enough in spending some time in Africa or the Caribbean? Marco: Yeah! Yeah, of course. Caitlin: It would mean giving up your entire summer. Any big plans? Marco: I did... have some. But you know how it is with plans. They change.

Marco is upset when he discovers he is unable to donate blood at the blood drive because he is gay and then catches Dylan in bed with another guy. Meanwhile, since being expelled, Spinner and Jay decide to break into Degrassi to vandalize it.

fd_Roswell_03x01

fd_Roswell_03x01_0

44th Episode of Roswell Production Code: 3ADA01 [SCENE_BREAK] Max: Are you ready? Liz: Yeah, I think so. Max: Liz, you don't have to do this. Liz: No, max. We are in this together. That's what we said. Together till the end. Liz: Down! Down! Now! Whoa! Down! Get down! Max: Do what she says. She's crazy. Liz: Face on the floor! Now! [East coast accent] yeah. I, uh...I wanna report an armed robbery in progress. At Sam's quick stop on highway 65. Yeah. Hurry. Clerk: I have a family. Liz: Hurry. We've only got a few minutes. [Siren approaches] Liz: just keep your face down! Keep your face down! The cops are coming. We gotta get outta here. Come on, let's go! Come on, let's go! Hurry up! [Max, now in the room below the store sees the spaceship. He holds up a large diamond, and the ship begins to glow] Liz: Come on. How'd they find us so fast? Max: I don't know. All right, hold on! Liz: Max, they can't find out about the diamond. Officer: Hands! Let me see hands! Liz: You got any powers for this? [PREVIOUSLY_ON] Max: Liz, there's something I need to tell you about Tess and me. Our relationship is, uh-- something happened. Liz, Tess is pregnant. I'm going back. Liz: Just tell me one thing. Do you love her? Max: Not like I love you. Max: This was all some kind of plan to get pregnant and go home, wasn't it? Max: This isn't over, tess. Isabel: What happens now, max? Max: I have to save my son. [Telephone rings] Max: So I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, see me. Liz: You mean, like, on a date? Max: Just somewhere we can talk. I just want to try to start over, liz. You look amazing. Liz: They're my favorite. Thank you. So where are we going? Max: It's a surprise. Liz: It's kind of dark. Max: Liz, i just want to put everything that happened behind us. Liz: Yeah, you know that I would, too, if i had impregnated an alien killer who murdered one of our best friends and then left the planet with my unborn child. Max: So you're still holding on to that? Liz: It's hard not to, max. See, you slept with tess, and then you got her pregnant. I don't know how to just move past that. You hurt me, you know? Max: Liz, meeting someone, someone like me, Liz: it attracted me. I admit that. It was something I had to find out about, and now I'm over it. Max: It's not that simple. Liz, i'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Isabel, michael, and I, we've lost our only way home. There's no way back. You're the only or me to-- you're my only reason. I want to be with you. Liz: Tess is pregnant with your child. What about your son? Max: There's nothing i can do about that. He's gonna be born in a... In another world, a world that i have nothing to do with. I've accepted it. Liz, you've paid a lot to know me. You've been hurt and you've been put in danger. Now I want to make that up to you. I want to make your dreams come true. Will you let me do that? Max: In the neighborhood? [Sighs] Mr. Evans: son. If you want to get out of here while you're still a young man, don't say anything to anyone unless i'm present. I'm not your father right now, I'm your lawyer. Mrs. Evans: Oh, my god. Max. Max: It's all right, mom. It's all right. Mrs. Evans: Look at you. What is going on? Who are you? Why are you under arrest for armed robbery? Mr. Evans: Now tell us what the hell are you doing in utah?! Mrs. Parker: Jeff, stay calm. Calm?! Mr. Parker: How am i gonna stay calm? [Ms]Honey, i know it isn't you. I know this is not something that you would do, but--but if you did do it, maybe it's because somebody put you up to it. Liz: They put me up to it. Right, mom. Mr. Parker: Ok. That's enough! Now tell us what the hell happened. Liz: I'm not gonna speak to anyone until they let me talk to max. Liz: Liz: So I've broken, like, 12 of my mom's rules already. Max: Rules? She has rules? Well, yeah. Yeah, since I told her that you broke my heart, without any of the alien details, of course. She thinks that we should just take things slow. Just dinner, then straight home, no plans for future dates. No making out. Max: So i suppose skinny dipping would be against the rules, too. Liz: Uh-huh. What are you doing, max? No. No, this is not happening. Ok, you've made your point. It's not that funny. You can stop now. What--no, max. Max. I can't believe you're gonna do this! Max: Whoo! Come on in. It's beautiful. No, it's not. It is obviously freezing. Come on, liz. This is something we'll tell our grandchildren about. Come on in, liz. Come on. Liz: Fine! Ok? Fine. Grandchildren. What are they gonna be, 3 feet tall and green? But, hey. I am not taking my underwear off. And if my mother, like, ever, ever t about this, you are, like, so dead. Ok? Do we have a deal? Max. Oh, max! Is that a deal, max? Huh? Max! Max, oh, my god! Isabel: Max! Michael Just tell us what happened. Feel free to leave out the lurid details. Liz: Look, I told you already. He was just, like, laying there in the water and he woke up in the car. But he hasn't said a single word. You guys, isn't there d of cure for this? You guys are the aliens. Do something here. Michael Maxwell! Hey, Maxwell! Maxwell! Hey, what the hell's going on? Max: Something happened. I had this vision. It was my son. He's been born. He was reaching out to me. He's in trouble. Michael now if I'm to have any chance of graduating this year, I need to get into your bio 101 class. Teacher: Why didn't you come to my bio 101 class when you were in it? Michael I'm turning over a new leaf. Teacher: Excuse me while I take a moment to chuckle within. Michael Ok, lookit, plans changed. I thought I was moving out of Roswell, but as it turns out, I'm stuck here for good. Teacher: And how far away did you plan to move that you didn't think that your high school records would've been sent to your new high school? Michael Actually, pretty far. Mr. Seligman, I know you hate my guts. Personally, I hate yours, too. Teacher: This is how you ask a favor? Michael But if you help me graduate this year, then you won't have to see me next year. Teacher: Well, you do have a point there. Ok, Mr.. Guerin, I will let you in to my biology 101 class if you make a sacred vow to me right now that you won't miss a single session. Isabel: Michael, there you are. Teacher: Miss Evans, I thought you graduated. Isabel: I did, mr. Seligman, but I just can't seem to cut the cord. Too many fond memories. I need to talk to you. Michael I got class. Isabel: It's important. Michael I will be one minute. Teacher: I'm sure you will. Miss Evans, love the hair. Isabel: Well, thank you. Michael So, what's going on? Isabel: Max and Liz got arrested in Utah for armed robbery. We have to go. Michael: So much for ever getting out of this school. What were they doing in Utah? [In Utah] Isabel: Mom! Mrs. Evans: Isabel. Your father and i have been going crazy. Oh, hi. Philip! Isabel: So what's going on? Mrs. Evans: Well, we're still trying to figure out what happened with your brother and Liz. Isabel: Hi, dad. Mr. Evans: Hey. This is Jesse Ramirez from my office. Isabel: We met at the company-- Jesse: picnic, that's right. Nice to see you again. Isabel: Nice to see you again. Mr Parker: So what have you found out, Philip? Mr. Evans: A detention hearing has been set up for tomorrow with the judge. Max and liz are first-time offenders, no physical evidence has been produced, so we're hoping they get a slap on the wrist and get sent back home. Mrs. Evans: Well, what about jail? Mr. Evans: They can only go to jail if the case is transferred to the criminal court system and they get tried as adults. But so far that seems unlikely. Jesse: Ok, they haven't found a gun, and there are no witnesses other than the nutcase behind the counter who claims to have seen an otherworldly yellow light. Isabel: So as long as there's no evidence, max and Liz will be ok, right? Mr. Evans: Yeah. Yeah, we certainly hope so. Michael: Can we see them? [Door opens] Isabel: max! You idiot. What are you trying to do to our poor, clueless human parents? Michael: So what's the deal? You running low on cigarettes? Max: There's an underground government storage facility under the convenience store. Michael: Well, that's a surprise. Max: Our ship's there. Michael You mean our spaceship? Max: It's been reassembled. I saw it with my own eyes. Michael: I can feel biology 101 slipping from my grasp. Isabel: So, reassembled that means it works? Max: Possibly. Isabel: I thought we made an agreement to let go of the other world and live here. Max: That was before my son tried to contact me. Isabel: Max, a little reality check. This ship you're talking about...Sucks. It's a lemon. It crashed to begin with. That's why we're stuck here. Michael She's got a point. Max: Look, I need you to find something for me. I had to toss it before we were arrested. Isabel: No. No, we are not helping s absurd plan to find a spaceship, ok? This is ridiculous. Max: This isn't about getting to a spaceship. Liz and I stole it. It's a diamond. Isabel: You stole a diamond? Max: It's not actually a diamond. It's the key to our ship. It's alien, and if we don't find it before the police do, we'll be linked to another crime. We'll never get out of here. Michael So what does it look like? [Scene switches to the past, Max and Liz looking at Tess' things] Liz: Hey, i've been for you. Max: Yeah. Yeah, I was just, uh-- Liz: looking through tess' stuff. What's that? Max: It was buried among tess' things. It's a letter Nasedo wrote to her before he died. It says, "I am your one and only protector on this planet. "I'll protect you until the end. "If I ever die, this is our only way to communicate with our home." Liz: And? Max: I have to contact my son Liz: So i guess this part of your life isn't over after all. [Michael is in a field looking for the diamond- a man with a gun confronts him] Michael Mandatory attendance, I understand. Yeah. An attitude improvement? I'm already on that. And a respect for authority, yeah, absolutely. Mr. Seligman, I gotta call you back. Man: Who was that? Michael It's my science teacher. I'm trying to graduate high school. Man: Why don't you just get a G.E.D.? Michael No one hires anyone with a g.E.D. Man: I got a G.E.D. I'm doing fine. Michael Yeah, you're on a nice career path there. Man: I got a message for your friend max. Stop looking. The person i work for will do whatever is necessary to stop him. Whatever is necessary. Michael Whatever, dude. [Gunshot] Man: don't be such a smart ass. Maybe that's your problem in school, too. Don't make me come back to Utah. [Maria arrives in Utah] Maria: Why can't these aliens ever get in trouble somewhere decent? Like Graceland or Tahoe or New Orleans. No, Utah. Mormons and mountains. Liz: Oh, my god, Maria. I can't believe you're here. Maria: Who am i, liz? Of course I'm here. Liz: Ok, thanks. Now give me some sugar. Maria: Hi. Mmm. Hi. Ok, first of all, I have some fresh green lime pie from the Crashdown. Liz: Oh, Maria, you-- you are a goddess. You know, if you were a boy, I would-- Maria: ok, no, don't go there, girlfriend. All right, now i talked to everyone involved, and I got the total unadulterated scoop. The judge and D.A. of this town are, like, totally sweating it because they have to go before council next month for reappointment and they haven't caught a criminal in, like, a decade, so they're basically out for your scalps. Ok, that's all i have. Now it's your turn. Spill. Last i heard, you and max were trying to take it slow. Max: What? Mmm. What's going on, liz? Liz: Do you love me? Liz: Yes. How much do you Max: who are you? Liz: Look at this. Max: How'd you find this? Liz: I spent 16 hours at the main branch of the library in Albuquerque. The diamond's owned by Delores Browning, one of the 10 wealthiest women in the world. Max: Where is it? Liz: It's on permanent loan at the Tate museum in London. But it's gonna be the main event in a traveling exhibit. It'll be in Santa Fe in two weeks. Liz: No, no, no, no, no. I want to do this with you, max. Together. Max: Why? Liz: Because if i had lost a child, I would want you to help me find him. But that's only part of the reason. The other part is that i don't want you to slip away from me. I know what it's like to be with you, and I know what it's like to be apart from you. And I would rather be with you. Max: I don't know if i could live with myself if anything ever happened to you. Liz: Max, you're an alien king. What could ever happen to me? [In the present], Isabel knocks on Jesse's door Isabel: thank you for this meeting, Mr.. Ramirez. Jesse: No problem, Isabel. Isabel: Mmm! Why didn't you tell me you were here? Jesse: I was working all night with your father. I couldn't call. Isabel: Oh, I just wish this could all be out in the open. Jesse: I'm still not sure why it can't be. Isabel: Well, there's the fact that you're 26 and I'm barely legal. Jesse: you're an old soul. You have clearly lived before. Isabel: You have no idea. So, what were you and my father holding back from us before? Jesse: What do you mean? Isabel: I saw the look between the two of you earlier. Clearly you're not telling us the whole story. Jesse... Jesse: Last year there was a robbery in the county. A kid died. No one was ever charged, and the local prosecutor got a lot of heat for it. So... This town is looking for someone to hang. Jesse: Max and liz picked a bad place to play bonnie and clyde. [Telephone rings] Jesse: hello? Philip. Oh, just, uh, working on some research. Ok, I'll be right over. That was your dad. They found evidence. [Scene switches to the past, and the museum] Max: The honor's mine. So you're the Delores Browning? Mrs. Browning: Well, I don't usually put an article before my name but, yes, I am. Max: So what's it like to actually own all these diamonds? Mrs. Browning: I only own some of them. Well, most of them, actually. So you're-- max. And you're not really ly a waiter. You're really an aspiring artist or actor or-- Max: no. I'm just a waiter. Mrs. Browning: A waiter? [Laughs] god bless you. Liz: What the hell are you doing? Max: Oh, liz. Liz: What the hell are you doing? Max: Nothing. Liz: Nothing. I can't believe you. How many times have i stuck my neck out for you, and you are standing here obviously flirting with a woman obviously-- come on, she's, like, twice your age. Max: Liz, calm down. Liz: : Calm down! Max: I better be going. I'm sorry. Liz: Oh, my god! You're apologizing to this bimbo?! Mrs. Browning: Excuse me? Max: Liz, let's just walk away and forget it. Liz: Forget it. You think that's your answer to everything, isn't it, max? Forget everything, ignore everything. Security Guard: Excuse me, ma'am. Could you come with me, please? Liz: Can you please not touch me?! Listen, this is what he does, ok? You, you're not special. He does this to everyone. You are a little bit too desperate to see what is really going on here! Max: Liz, will you just stop it? Liz: Why?! Mrs. Browning: Young lady, I don't think you have any idea who you're speaking to. Liz: Oh, I don't, huh? Mrs. Browning: Ohh! Max: Don't touch her! [Max pushes a guard, the diamond falls, and Max does a somersault and catches it] [Alarm bell rings] Max: I believe this is yours. I'm sorry. Liz: Get me out of here. Max: Liz-- Liz: you have humiliated me again. Now get me out of here. Did you get it? Max: Of course i did. We did it. Liz: You were brilliant. Max: No, you were brilliant. Liz: That was so exhilarating. Max: I know. Liz: You know, just the fact that we, like, pulled it off. everything. It's just, like, anything's possible right now. And then throwing that champagne at that woman, it was so cathartic. Look, and, max, I know what we did is totally... Totally wrong and completely illegal, but I just loved it. You know? In a million years, in one million years did you ever think? Yeah. So, now that the diamond, we have to find the spaceship, right? Max: Well, not right this second. Liz: Ok. [Giggles] [SCENE_BREAK] [At Liz's home] Mr. Parker: Liz! It's 2:00 in the morning. Where the hell have you been? Liz: Upstairs. Mr. Parker: Where were you? Liz: Nowhere. Mr. Parker: And what are you wearing? Liz: Clothes. Lawyer: That's just the way things work here. She'll be fine. Mr. Evans: Nancy, Jeff, hi. Mr. McGregor Lawyer: Nice to see you again, Mr.. Evans. Mr. Parker: Mr. McGregor here was just giving us the inside scoop on the Salina court system. Mr. Evans: Ah, how generous. Lawyer: Well, nice to meet you folks. Nancy, Jeff. You're good people. Your daughter deserves her best shot. Mr. Evans: What was that about? Mr. Parker: He's trying to put our kids in jail. Mrs. Evans: Mr. McGregor just feels that we'd be better off pleading guilty. Mr. Evans: Well, he'd certainly be better off. He's a prosecutor. His job is to get a guilty plea. Mr. Parker: But he said that if we plead not guilty, it could provoke the judge and he'd be that much more likely to transfer the case to a criminal court. Mr. Evans: Jeff, if we plead guilty to a felony, then there's a case against them in criminal court. We can't give them that option. Believe me, I know what I'm doing. Mrs. Parker: No, it's just this isn't personal, Phil. It's just that you're a corporate lawyer and this is not your area of expertise. Mr. Evans: Nancy, Jeff, that man you were talking to wants a guilty plea, and he'll say and do anything he has to to get it. If we plead guilty, I guarantee you this case is going to criminal court. Look, our children are in this together. We're all in this together. Believe me, I am doing right by your daughter. [Scene switches to court] Judge: Do you understand the charges against you? Max and liz: Yes, your honor. Judge: How do you plead? Max: Not guilty. Liz: Not guilty. Judge: All right, then, you can have a seat. Now, mr. Mcgregor and Mr.. Evans, I've reviewed the material you've submitted-- Mr. Evans: your honor, before you make a ruling on this, I have additional material that i feel is critical to this case. Judge: All right, let's see it, Mr.. Evans. Mr. Evans: Thank you. These are 4 recent rulings in Utah state courts, all of which disallowed dna matches from hair follicles to be submitted as evidence. Uh, your honor, in consideration of the fact that these few strands of hair are the only physical evidence in this case and there are no priors on eitherr defendant who are both standout students and members of their community, I ask that this matter be dismissed. Judge: All right. Well, thank you, Mr.. Evans, I'll take that under consideration. Judge: Max evans. It's the decision of this court that you be released to the custody of your parents, that you be returned to your home state of New Mexico if you will agree not to return to the state of Utah until your 21st birthday. Do you agree with that, Mr.. Evans? Max: Yes, your honor. Judge: Very good. Have a seat. Elizabeth parker. Now, your voice and your height match the description of the person in possession of the firearm. Armed robbery's one of the 10 crimes punishable under Utah's serious shooter offender act. Therefore it is my decision to transfer your case to the criminal court system. Mr. Evans: But, your honor, there was no gun found. The only mention of a gun was from the testimony of a clerk whose credibility-- Judge: I've made my decision, Mr.. Evans. This is for another court to consider. Mrs. Parker: Oh, my god! Mrs. Parker: You can't do this! Mr. Evans: Your honor, this girl has never so much as jay-walked. She's one of the best students in Roswell high. Judge: Well, you're not in Roswell, counsel. This hearing's adjourned. Mrs. Parker: Oh, my god, no! No, you can't take her! You can't--no! Mr. Evans: It'll be ok. Liz-- liz, we'll talk, ok? [Later in the courthouse] Lawyer: liz, i've reviewed your case with your parents, and my advice as your attorney is to try to make a deal. Liz: What kind of deal? Lawyer: You're a good kid, liz. Honor student, clubs, activities. Maybe you fell in with a bad crowd, met a guy with a problem. Maybe max dragged you into this. Liz: You want me to sell max out? Lawyer: He sold you out when he made you walk in there holding that gun. Liz: We're in this together. Mrs. Parker: Not anymore. Honey, you could go to jail for 20 years. Lawyer: Let's talk about the gun. Did max convince you to hold it? How'd you get it to begin with? [Scene swithces to the past] Liz: So, why do we need this? Max: Road trip. Liz: Where? Max: I did some research at the UFO center. There are 5 government storage facilities large enough to hold the ship. It's gotta be in one of them. Liz: I don't see a government facility , do you? Max: Let's take a look. Max: Don't worry. It won't be loaded. Liz: To go in there with a gun, that's a felony. Why can't I just distract the clerk? Max: That's not enough time. I need at least 5 minutes to get downstairs, see if the ship's there, and if it works. Liz: And what if it works? I mean, you go off to Antar and what? I mean, what if you never come back? Max: I will come back. And I'm not leaving yet. First I have to see if this is even a possibility. I'm gonna have to figure out how to navigate it. Liz: We can't get caught. Max: We won't. [In the present, Max opens Liz's cell] Max: Let's go. Liz: What do you mean? Max: Let's get out of here. Liz: Max, and then what? Just be on the run the rest of our lives? We'd never be able to go home again. Max: That's not as bad as it sounds. Liz: No, max, i'm sorry, but that's just too far for me. I'm not ready to give up my home or my family. Max: I wish we could trade places. Liz: No. No, no, no, max. Ok, I don't. You're free. We came here for a reason because your son is in trouble. Now you need to go back and do what we came for. You know, see if your ship works. Come on. I don't want this to all be for nothing. [At the hotel] [Knock on door] Max: how's it going? Michael: Maria's been crying about Liz the whole night. Other than that, things are great. Max: I need the diamond. Michael: Maxwell, i told you that guy scared the crap out of me. There's someone out there that wants us to stay away. And you know what? He convinced me. Max: I'll be careful. Michael, my son is in trouble. Just give me the-- give me the diamond. Michael: I would do it for you. You tell Isabel that you came in here and you found it yourself. [Max gets the diaomond from the undr the couch- Maria wakes up] Max: Hey. Maria: How could you make Liz hold the gun? [Max in the hall, sees Isabel] Max: Hey. Isn't your room down the hall? Yeah. I was just in there with Maria. Max: In there. You were in there with Maria? Max: Where you going? My stuff's in the trunk. Isabel: All right. Well, good night. Max: Yeah. Good night. [Max gets into his car] Agent Burns: Max. I'm sorry. I have to, uh-- please. Agent burns of the fbi. So, why sam's quik stop? Max: My case has been dismissed. Agent Burns: By the sheriff's office maybe. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're just an incompetent criminal. But if you were in that store for any other reason, ... If you don't stop, you and your girlfriend will not be happy juvenile delinquents. [Max is reliving the past] Max: I have to contact my son. My son is in trouble. Just give me the diamond. Isabel: I thought we made an agreement to let go of the other world and live here. Max: That was before my son tried to contact me. Liz: I want to do this with you, max. Together. Max: Why? Liz: Because if I had a child that i had lost, I would want you to help me find him. Max: I couldn't live with myself if anything ever happened to you. Liz: Come on. We came out here for a reason because your son is in trouble. Go back and do what we came here to do. [Max is in the basement, but the ship is gone] Mr. Evans: What the hell's going on, son? Max: You followed me here? Mr. Evans: Yes. Yes, I followed you here. Because I can no longer trust you me the truth. I thought you were involved in drugs. But this is clearly something else. What were you looking for down here, max? What is this place? Max: If i told you what this was about, it would put you and mom in danger. Mr. Evans: And what's this? Max: Don't touch that, dad. It could be toxic. Mr. Evans: Why would there be a toxic chemical in the basement of a convenience store? Max: Just don't touch it, dad. Mr. Evans: Max, if this is what you think it is, we might be able to help liz. Max: What are you talking about? How? [Scene switches to a road] Agent Burns: Mr. Evans. It's nice to meet you. Agent burns of the fbi. We now have jurisdiction. Mr. Evans: So, maybe someone can tell me why the fbi is so interested in 2 teenagers robbing a convenience store. Agent Burns: Actually, mr. Evans, we're not. We tested the so-called toxic chemical you submitted to the sheriff, and it turned out to be laundry detergent. Max: It did? Well, we did our own test and it turned out to be tetryl. Max: Now i'm sure there are any number of people in the media that would be interested to find out why such a dangerous chemical was found underneath a convenience store. And even more interested to find out the location was on federally owned property. Agent Burns: You two are lucky to be walking away from this alive. You give me that jar now, and you were never here. You never saw anything under that convenience store, you never found any chemical there. Mr. Evans: It's gonna be difficult not to ever mention this again if that girl is still in jail, Mr.. Burns. [Back at the jail] Mrs. Parker: Could you give us a minute? Liz: What's going on? Mrs. Parker: The charges were dropped. Liz: What? Mrs. Parker: Max's father discovered improper conduct with the arresting officer, and so they dismissed the case. Liz: Oh, my god, mom. Oh, my god. Mr. Parker: Liz, before we leave, there's something i need to talk to you about. Liz: Yeah? Mr. Parker: Your mother and I forbid you to see max anymore. He's not welcome at our restaurant. You are not to go out on a date with him, or attend the same parties. If you pass him in school, you are to look the other way. Mrs. Parker: It's for the best. Mr. Evans: Max... There was over $200 left in that cash register. You didn't do it for the money. I never believed you did it for some adolescent thrill. You did it because you wanted to get down those stairs into that room. And I need you to tell me why. Max: I can't ever tell you the truth. Please, don't make me lie to you. Mr. Evans: I'm sorry, son. Silence is not acceptable. And neither is a lie, not after what we've just been through. No. Not under my roof. Max: I can respect that. I just want to thank you for helping Liz. I'll always appreciate that. Max: I'll come by home to pack my things. Good-bye, dad. [Max sees Liz come out and drive off with her parents. He gets in his car and leaves. The final scene is him sleeping in his car looking at the stars]

In the opening episode of the concluding series of the program. Max and Liz are detained and jailed for holding up a convenience store. Meanwhile, Isabel has a secret affair with a handsome attorney, and Michael tries to straighten out his life.

fd_The_Big_Bang_Theory_08x04

fd_The_Big_Bang_Theory_08x04_0

[ The cafeteria ] Leonard: Have you guys heard about this research team that's trying to transgenically manipulate chicken DNA to create some sort of chicken dinosaur? Sheldon: Oh, I think that sounds wonderful. Howard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens. Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot. Raj: Hey, guys. Howard: Hey. Sheldon: Hello. Raj: We still on for tomorrow night? Leonard: Yeah. I'm excited to finally meet your girlfriend. Sheldon: Speaking of which, according to a recent study out of Oxford University, when someone takes on a new romantic partner, that person loses one or two close friends. Howard: Since when do you read social science? Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else. Raj: Why would I lose friends just because I started dating someone? Leonard: Yeah, you didn't lose anyone when you met Amy. Yeah, well, no, this study refers to romantic partners. Not the way I would categorize the two of us. Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands. Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic. Raj: Look, I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends just because he's in a relationship. Leonard: What happens if she doesn't like us? Raj: Well, hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years, and then you're dead to me. [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ We built the Wall ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] We built the pyramids [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] Bang! [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x04 ♪ Original Air Date on October 6, 2014 [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Amy: So, Howard, is Stuart still living with your mom? Howard: I don't want to talk about it. Bernadette: But he's going to. Howard: My mom got him cable. In my whole life, growing up in that house, no cable. Do you know how many HBOs that leech had my mother get him? Seven. Seven HBOs. Seven. Bernadette: Long story short, they have seven HBOs. (knocking) Raj: Hey, guys. Sheldon: Hello. Raj: Emily, you know almost everybody here. Emily: Hi. Raj: And this is Leonard, this is Penny. Emily: Oh, it's so nice to meet you. Leonard: Nice to finally meet you, too. Penny: Hi. Emily: Hello. Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her. Raj: I told you she exists. Penny: Hey, I hear you're a dermatologist. Emily: Uh, yeah, I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital. Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. Yeah, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue fever, they still let you take a lollipop. Bernadette: You know, Penny just started training to be a pharmaceutical sales rep. Maybe she can practice on you some time. Penny: Oh, it would be great to practice on a real doctor. Emily: Yeah. I'm sure that'd be fine. Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them? Emily: Um, okay, I guess. Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes, and he's taking his pants off. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Bernadette: Last night was fun. What did you think of Emily? Penny: I don't know. I kind of got the sense she didn't like me. Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you? Penny: Of course not. No one ever says they don't like you straight to your face. Amy: We have led different lives. Bernadette: You guys just met. Why would she feel that way? Penny: It's just this vibe I got. Bernadette: I'm sure you're worried about nothing. Penny: Yeah. You're probably right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out, she liked me a little too much. Bernadette: Really? Penny: Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out. Bernadette: When you go to Emily's office to practice, you'll see. It's fine. Penny: Yeah, I hope you're right. Amy: You really went your entire life without anyone saying I hate you to your face? Penny: Yeah. Amy: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Capital Comics ] (rock music playing) Sheldon: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick. What, is this a comic book store, or a rave at the third little pig's house? Howard: Yep, I wish Stuart would reopen. I hate this place, too. Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an 80-year-old man in a 15-year-old's tee shirt. But you're just upset about Stuart and your mom and all their HBOs. Howard: Yes, I am. You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of mother saying, Stuart, which one is Thrones? Raj: You know, he might not reopen. He didn't get a lot of money from the insurance company. Sheldon: Oh, boy, if there is one thing that gets my goat, it's those dad-gum insurance companies. Leonard: Why? Because they won't get off your lawn? Is Stuart trying to get a loan, or, or find investors? Howard: All I know is, he's got my mother buying four-ply toilet paper. I mean, four-ply. If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he just use an angora rabbit? Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite. Leonard: Hey, here's a thought. Why don't we put up the rest of the money that Stuart needs? Raj: So, we'd be, like, owners of a comic book store? (all chuckling) Leonard: It's kind of a dream come true. Howard: That does sound fun. Raj: Ooh, maybe we could come up with a business plan to compete with this place. Sheldon: I'll give you a plan right now. Step one, open comic book store. Step two, start rumour this comic book store gives you genital warts. Step three, buy a big bag to put the money in. Leonard: It's not that bad. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Emily's surgery ] Penny: Hey. Emily: Hi. Penny: Thank you so much for letting me practice my sales pitch on you. I really appreciate it. Emily: Sure. Penny: Um, I brought coffee. I wasn't sure what you like, so I got a regular, a cappuccino and a Chai tea. Since you like Raj, I thought you might be into that. Emily: Thanks. If we could get started. I'm a little busy. Penny: Oh, yeah, sure. Let me just get out my materials. Leonard gave me this briefcase. He used to carry it around in high school. You can still see the dent where they whacked him with it. Okay, I would like to talk to you about our new birth control pill, Femevra. Emily: Great. Penny: So, Femevra's triphasic design provides balanced hormonal exposure. Emily: All right. Penny: It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives. Although it can cause acne, which, if you ask me, kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive. Emily: Funny. Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. Did we get off on the wrong foot? Because since the other night, I kind of feel like you might have a problem with me. Emily: No, it's fine. Penny: Are you sure, because it doesn't seem fine? Emily: Okay. If you really want to talk about this, I do have a problem. Penny: Oh, my God. Tell me, what did I do? Emily: Look, it's nothing. It's just, Raj told me that a while ago, you two hooked up. Penny: What? Oh, why would he say that? Emily: Did it not happen? Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up. Emily: Did you kiss? Penny: Yeah. Emily: Were you naked? Penny: Yeah. Emily: So, it was a hook-up. Penny: No. Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Sheldon: So, what are some ways we could set our comic book store apart from the competition? Leonard: Oh, kids buy comic books. It would be great to figure out a way to get more kids in the store. Howard: You know, when I was a kid, I loved going there, but I could never get a ride. Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around and picked kids up? Sheldon: Nice. You mean, like at parks and schools? Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows. Leonard: Hold on. So, your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up? Sheldon: Yes. Leonard: And are you gonna use candy to lure them in? Raj: We are now. Penny: You told Emily we hooked up? Raj: Um, well, in my defence, I tell everybody. Penny: Why would you say that? Raj: We were having a conversation about past lovers. Penny: We weren't lovers. Come on. Everyone knows we didn't sleep together. We got drunk and fooled around. Why couldn't you just leave me out of it? Raj: Well, we were being honest. You would leave me out of the conversation with the next guy if you dumped Leonard? Leonard: Why say it? Penny: Yes. Raj: Well, I would never leave you off my list, and not just because, without you, we're playing fast and loose with the word list. Penny: Well, good job. Now she hates me. Ugh. Raj: Great. Sheldon: On the bright side, that Oxford study was right. One friend down. I wonder who you're going to lose next. Raj: You, okay? It's you. You're, you're next. Sheldon: No. You're crazy about me. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past. Amy: Hmm-hmm. Penny: Almost everyone has a past. Bernadette: Come on, look how pretty you are. I'm sure this isn't the first girl to hate you. Penny: It's not. Bernadette: And I'm sure you can turn it around. Penny: How? You can't force someone to like you. Amy: What if you just hang around and act like her friend until you wear her down? I mean, next thing you know, you're in her home, you're eating her food, drinking her wine. Penny: No, that won't work. Amy: You're right. Cheers. Bernadette: Oh, I know. Why don't you use your sales training to go back down there and sell yourself? Penny: What? Bernadette: Yeah. But instead of selling a drug, you'd be selling Penny. it's cute. Penny: It's stupid. Bernadette: Well, maybe people would like you more if you didn't crap all over their ideas. Amy: I'm gonna go with Penny on this one. Then again, why wouldn't I? I mean, we go way back. Penny: Oh, my God. I didn't used to like you. Amy: Shh. Amy's here now. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Capital Comics ] Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the more intrigued I am about having our own store. Howard: We'll get to see all the new stuff before it hits the shelves. Sheldon: And we'll get to have fun interactions with our customers. Like, this isn't a library, buy it or get out. Howard: You say things like that all the time. Sheldon: Yes, but as a store owner, I'll finally have a good comeback to, You don't work here, shut up. Leonard: Uh, do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list? Howard: Yeah. Leonard: Well, do you think when she and I had that conversation, she left people off her list? Sheldon: I'm sure she did. Leonard: Why? Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list. Leonard: Will you stay out of this? Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while. Howard: Hey, what difference does it make? You're the one she wants to marry. Leonard: That's true. Howard: Yeah, and I'm not sure that complete honesty is always the best thing for a relationship. Sheldon: Yeah, he's right. Once, in a moment of candour, I told Amy that her hair reminded me of a duck caught in an oil spill. She stormed out. Which was sad, because we were playing Scrabble, and I had all the letters to spell persimmon. Leonard: Why are you even part of this conversation? You don't know anything about women. Sheldon: I know that if I had a wife or a fiancée, I'd ask her first before I invested money in a comic book store. Howard: He's right. Sheldon: Yeah, well, of course I am. I was also right about her hair. It did everything but quack. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The stairwell ] Leonard: There's something I wanted to run past you. Penny: What's up? Leonard: Mm, the guys and I were thinking about investing in Stuart's comic book store. Is that okay? Penny: Why are you asking me? Leonard: Well, you know, we're engaged, and it's kind of a big deal financially. It seems like something we should talk about. Penny: Oh. Well, would you consider mounds of credit card debt kind of a big deal financially? Leonard: Yeah. Penny: Huh. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ] Howard: Mm. So, me and the guys were talking about this great investment opportunity. Bernadette: Nope. Howard: But you didn't hear what it was. Bernadette: I know. Howard: Oh, come on. Bernadette: Fine. What is it? Howard: It's to help reopen the comic book store. Bernadette: Nope. Howard: Well, hear me out. Bernadette: Howard, you know we're saving up for a house. Howard: I know, but all the guys are doing it. We're splitting it four ways, so it's really not that much money. Bernadette: It just seems like a risky investment. Howard: I get that. I, okay, look, the real reason this is important is, before my dad left me and my mom, he used to take me to the comic book store. It was one of the few things we did together. Bernadette: Oh. Howie, I had no idea. Howard: Well, I don't like to talk about it. Bernadette: Oh, baby. That story's made up, isn't it? Howard: That's how much buying a comic book store means to me. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Sheldon: I'd like your honest opinion on something. Amy: Of course. Sheldon: Now, before I start, I need you to know that I'm very excited about this, and anything you say that isn't enthusiastically supportive will throw our entire relationship into question. So, keep an open mind. Amy: I'm feeling a little backed into a corner, Sheldon. Sheldon: Perfect. Now, I'm considering investing in Stuart's comic book store. Amy: Interesting. Can you see how a grown man, an accomplished scientist, who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colourful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources? Sheldon: No. Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea. Sheldon: Great. Wait till you hear about our van. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] (knocking) Raj: Hey. Penny: Hi. Raj: Thanks for inviting us over. Penny: Oh, thank you for coming. Emily: Uh, listen, Penny, before you start, I just want to apologise for being so rude the other day in my office. Penny: No, no. No need to apologise. Raj: Excuse me, can I say something? I just love both you guys, and I want you to get along. And when I say love I meant as a friend. And, uh, way too soon, right? Penny: Okay, sit down. Listen, Emily, what happened between me and Raj was a long time ago. Raj: It was, and I may have made it seem like a bigger deal than I should have. Penny: Yeah, and Leonard and I are engaged now, and I'm just hoping we can put this whole thing behind us. Emily: Mm. I'd like that, too. Yeah, I thought I'd be okay with it, but then I saw how pretty you are. Penny: Oh, that's so sweet. I mean, look at you, you are gorgeous. Raj: It's true, you're both gorgeous. Kind of says something about the man who could bed you both. You get why I've been alone most of my adult life. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Mrs Wolowitz's house ] Stuart: So, what brings you by? Howard: Well, I don't need a reason, it's my house. Stuart: Technically, it's your mom's house, but we certainly want you to feel welcome. Howard: I'm always welcome. Stuart: Mm, just try and call first. Bernadette: Okay, let's get down to business. Howie was thinking about putting up some money to help you reopen the store, but before that happens, I have a few questions. Stuart: Oh. I appreciate the offer, but actually your mother already gave me the money. Howard: What? Stuart: Yeah. I told her it was too much, but she said she was happy to help out her bubala. Howard: Excuse me. Ma, you are cancelling that cheque, and Stuart is not your bubala, I'm your bubala. You can't have more than one bubala. Stuart: I don't know who he's talking to. She's at Target, buying me shirts. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Raj: I'm so glad we could work this all out. Penny: Yeah, me, too. Emily: You know, we should have dinner one night with you and Leonard. Penny: Oh, we would love that. Raj: Great. (both chuckle) Penny: Okay, good night, guys. Emily: All right, night. Penny: Bye. Emily and Penny (simultaneously): I hate her. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Raj: I'm really disappointed we're not gonna have our own comic book store. Leonard: I know. I was looking forward to it. Sheldon: It would've been so nice to have a place that was ours, where we could just sit and read comics in peace. Howard: With comfy seats. Raj: And snacks. Sheldon: Well, I guess it was too good to be true. Leonard: Yeah. (all sigh)

Leonard and Penny finally meet Raj's girlfriend Emily, but Penny feels that Emily does not like her. Emily agrees to let Penny practice a pharmaceutical sales pitch on her; however, Emily ignores her pitch. Emily admits she is unhappy that Penny previously hooked-up with Raj. Raj brings the two of them together to talk and Emily apologizes for being rude; however, after the meeting both women part and it is clear that they are still very uncomfortable with each other. Since Stuart did not get enough insurance money to reopen his comic book store, the men decide to invest in it as part owners. Penny wonders why Leonard wants to discuss finances, while Amy and Bernadette reluctantly accept the investment. Howard's mother has already given the money to Stuart and is calling him by Howard's old pet name "Bubula" upsetting Howard. Finally, the men are disappointed that they are not getting a nice comfortable homey place to sit and read comic books, though that is what they are doing in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

fd_Heartland_08x14

fd_Heartland_08x14_0

Amy: Previously on "Heartland"... Wade: Your mom's a grown woman. She's the only one who can get herself out of this. I got her in the best rehab I could find. I'm gonna go see her in a couple days. I'll let you know how she's doing. Tim: I've decided that it's time for me to give back to the rodeo world. I'm starting a rodeo school right here in Hudson. Jack: I support this. Tim: Thanks, buddy. Jack: Plus those kids are gonna eat you alive and I definitely support that. There it is. Thank you. Jade: Ungh! Tim: What the hell? (Horse whinnies) Tim: Jade! Jade: Oh! Jade: Ungh! Tim: Jade? Jade! Jade: Beat that, boys! (Truck rumbles to a halt) (Door opens and bangs shut) (Phone rings) Ty: Hey, Wade. Next week? Uh... Well, it's a little short notice. (Birds chirp) Okay. Um... Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Okay. Talk to you soon. (Phone beeps off) (Spectators on video cheer and shout) Hey. You ready to go? Amy: Yeah... you okay? Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, I just uh... What- what're you watching? Oh, you gotta check this out. Commentator:...is my favourite part of the great plains relay. Commentator 2: Here they go, 'round the bend. Ty: Huh. Is one of those guys Scott's nephew? Amy: No. I'm just watching whatever I can find online. I thought I better see what the great plains relay actually looks like. Ty: What're they doing? Amy: This the transition zone, where they switch horses. Ty: Looks like complete chaos. (Horse grunts loudly) Whoa! Well, that was incredible. Amy: When it works. Watch this guy. Ty: Oh, geez, come on, buddy! Hold on. ...see that transition? They must have been working on that for a year... Ty: Come on. Come on, you got it, you got it! Commentator:...so smooth. Ty: Oh! Ouch! Amy: Yeah, it's totally crazy. (Crowd cheers in the video) Man: He's right off! Ty: Wow, I can't believe Scott used to do this. Amy: I know, right? Ty: So you think you can help his nephew? Amy: I hope so. Scott says he's having trouble with the exchange. Ty: Yeah, well, I don't blame him. Amy: Oh, wow. Okay. (Taps keyboard) Come on. Let's go. (Knock at the door) Georgie: Oh, he's here! And you know what he likes to do. Katie: Tickle! Georgie: Yeah! It's open. Oh, he's coming! You better run, Katie! Jade! What're you doing here? Jade: Nice to see you too. I was just taking my new car for a cruise, thought I'd drop by. What a coincidence, exactly when he's supposed to get here. He? Who's "he"? Give it up, Jade. You know exactly who's coming. Jade: Is that today? Georgie: Nice try. But I don't want you hanging around and drooling all over him. Jade: Oh, please. Jeff: Hello?! Georgie: (Gasps) Jeffie! Georgie: Hi! Katie: Jeffie! Jeff: Ooh, Katie - and you! Jade: Hi. Jeff: Hi. Jade: I'm Jade. Katie: She likes to drool. (Georgie laughs) Jeff: (Snorts softly) (Hard thump) Man: Whoa, Barega! Emmett: Hmph! Ungh! Somebody grab him. Emmett, you all right? Emmett: I'm so sick of screwing this up for everybody. Hey, it's a team sport. Yeah, and I'm the weak link. Scott: C'mon, let's go back and try the exchange one more time. Emmett: I'm done. Scott: Fine. We'll call it a day. Emmett: No. I mean for good. I'm quitting the relay. S08E14 ♪ and at the break of day you sank into your dream ♪ ♪ you dreamer ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh... ♪ ♪ You dreamer... ♪ ♪ You dreamer... ♪ Scott: Emmett, these are a couple of friends. Amy and Ty. Amy: Hi. Scott: Amy works with horses. She might be able to help you with your problem. Emmett: It's already fixed. Scott: Come on, you can't quit now. Finals are only a week away. And cause another wreck? I'm gonna get somebody killed out there. Emmett, what happened? (Birds chirp) (Sighs) I don't know. My legs are all spaghetti by the time I make the last exchange. I just can't get up on the horse clean. Amy: It's always the same horse? Emmett: Yeah. Barega. She's the fastest on the circuit, but she's wasted on me. Well, like Scott said, I'd be happy to give you a hand. What do you know about the relay? Scott: She knows enough about horses, and riders, that she might be able to help you get through this. Sure. You wanna waste your time, makes no difference to me. (Low hum of chatter, birds chirp) Ty: I'm gonna go talk to Scott for a bit. I'll be right back. Amy: Okay. (Door bangs shut) Hey, Scott. Scott: Hey, so you'll help out tomorrow? Ty: Yeah. Yeah, I'll be here. Um... things are pretty crazy at the clinic next week, huh? Scott: No different than usual. Well, I mean, we got a couple of surgeries, and a ton of field calls, and... That big shipment of supplies coming in, right? Scott: Ty, what are you getting at? Ty: Uh... it's nothing. I was just... thinking about going to see my mom, but, you know, it's bad timing, so. Scott: Ty. Go see your mom. We'll be fine. Ty: Are you sure? Scott: Yeah. Okay. Thanks. (Tailgate bangs shut) Tim: Well! Look who's back. The pride of Fort Mac. Casey: Hi, I'm Casey. Jeff: Jeff. Georgie's brother. Casey: Nice to meet you. Oh, sorry we're late. I had to sort out Tim's rodeo school schedule. He's got himself double booked all over the place. Tim: What can I say, I'm a big picture kind of guy. Casey: Yeah? Is that why you added private lessons into the mix? Ty: Private lessons? What kind of private lessons? Casey: Oh, some rich oil guy's kid. I thought you were only interested in serious up and comers? Tim: Like you? Jade: Yeah. You know, I rode a bronc. Tim: I have not problem coaching some wannabe if his dad's gonna throw sponsorship money my way. Amy: But, dad, how are you gonna manage this? It's just you and Caleb. Tim: Caleb? Pfft! Kid's on the road twenty-four-seven. Ty: Well, Jesse's been riding him pretty hard to find some new stock, so. Tim: Caleb is useless to me. Georgie: Well, Jack could help out. He's got some serious rodeo cred. I'm not interested in training the next generation of weekend cowboys. But if you need a hand with those real rodeo kids I would consider pitching in. Tim: Yeah, those kids'd be saying, when was that guy's last rodeo? When they were bucking dinosaurs? (Ty laughs) Jack: This coming from a guy who won his last buckle before these kids were even born. So you still raking in the cash up north? Jeff: Yeah. Same 'ol, same 'ol. Georgie: Come on, Jeff, tell 'em about your big promotion! Jeff: Honestly, it's no big deal. Georgie: No big deal? He's running his own crew... Jeff: Uh, Georgie, just... Let it go. I mean, come on, no one wants to hear a bunch of... boring work talk, right? Jade: Cute and modest. Ty: So I'll pick you up on my way to the track tomorrow? Amy: Yeah, that sounds great. It should be an interesting session. Ty: Yeah. Emmett doesn't seem too keen, does he? Amy: No. That's an understatement. Ty: Hmm. Amy: Hey... you okay? Ty: That's the second time you've asked me that today. Well, it's just... You seem a little bit more... up in your head than normal. Uh... Wa... (Sighs) Wade called me this morning and um... Family day at the clinic is next week. You gonna go see your mom? Ty: Yeah... I was kinda hoping Scott wouldn't give me the time off. I hate going to those places, Amy. She must be happy you're coming. Yeah, well, she doesn't really know quite yet. I have to call Wade first thing in the morning. It'll be okay. (Brief kiss) Amy: Good night. Ty: Good night. (Receding footsteps) (Birds chirp) Emmett: (Blows out his breath) Ungh! Amy: And again. Emmett: Ungh. (Blows out his breath) Emmett: Ungh! Amy: Nice! Okay. One more time. One more time. Ugh! Haven't you seen enough? I'm beat. Sorta like you are on the final exchange. But you're landing this perfectly every time. Ty: Barega's staying good and still too. Amy: So far, you guys are totally in sync. I don't see anything that would cause you to miss in the exchange. So what's next? Amy: Let's try it for real. Emmett: (Sighs heavily) (Barega snorts nervously) Easy, Barega. Easy. Easy... Amy: Okay, Emmett, bring him in. Emmett: Yah! (Hooves thunder) Ty: Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. Easy. Easy now! Come on! (Barega snorts nervously, hooves thunder) Emmett: (Breathing hard) (Barega snorts and grunts) Ty: Whoa, whoa! Emmett! Emmett, are you okay? Emmett: (Frustrated grunts) Why can't I land it?! You can't be so hard on yourself. I keep choking under the pressure. No! No, it's not you. It's your horse. It's Barega. Emmett: (Sighs heavily) (Door bangs shut, engine rumbles nearby) (Tailgate thunks loudly) Tim: Hey! So guess who just got approved for a whole series of clinics at the high school rodeos. Jack: Well, good for you. So what did you want to talk to me about then? Oh. I've been thinking about your offer. Jack: My offer? Tim: To help lighten my workload. Jack: Well, I thought I was... too prehistoric to work at your rodeo school. Agh! And I know Casey's been joking about how disorganized I am, but I got it all worked out. No, no. I need help with Maggie's. Jack: M-Maggie's? Tim: Well, Lou's still away. The place won't run itself. You want me to work at the diner? I need a watch dog. No. I-I need someone to oversee it. (Door bangs shut) Make sure things are running smoothly. (Engine rumbles) Amy: You did everything right. Your dismount was clean, and your approach was great. Emmett: Then why did I end up back in the dirt? Because Barega took off too soon. Ty: Yeah, I couldn't even hold her back. Amy: She sees the other horses lined up and she knows what's coming. Barega loves to run so much that you can't hold her back. She just takes off. Scott: This is good news. Now that we know what the issue is we can deal with it. Emmett: How? She's a gamer. That's what makes her so good. We can't take the race out of the horse. Amy: Maybe you start the relay on her... And that way you don't have to jump on Barega at all. No. Barega runs anchor. Your best horse always runs the last lap. Scott: Since you know everything, what do you think we should do? Amy: Take off your jacket. Ty: What? Amy: I think I might have a way to hold Barega back in the exchange. Ty: You really think this is gonna work? Let her smell it first. Ty: There you. Hey... Easy now... I'm just gonna put this over your head. Really slowly... Just like that. Amy: Okay, we're ready! Yah! (Hooves thunder) Amy: Okay, wait for it... Now! (Barega snorts) Emmett: Yes! Amy: That's it! Scott: Woo! Nice exchange! Well, you finally got him out of bed. It's nice to be able to... sleep in for once. I thought you packed it in right after dinner last night? Ah, must be the country air. (Jack chuckles) So what do you two have planned for today? Jeff: Well, she's abandoning me for some trick riding practice. Georgie: Well, I told you, I could skip it. Jack: Have fun, whatever it is. No, that's fine. I'll hang out here until you get back. Georgie: Really? Yeah... what? Well, don't you usually go rent exotic cars and... rip around on your motorcycle? I guess I've mellowed in my old age. (Knock at the door) Georgie: Oh, look who it is. Just happened to be in the neighborhood? Jade: Uh, I just left my jacket here last night. Georgie: Of course you did. Jade: Hey, Jeff. Jeff: Hey. Jade: Nice hair. Yeah, barn loft special. (Self-conscious chuckle) Don't you have somewhere to be? No. Actually, I'm gonna go to this arts and music festival. I thought you might wanna go. Uh... yeah, I got a little free time on my hands. Why not? Jade: Cool. Jeff: Well, I better run a comb through this though, huh? Georgie: Okay. (Sighs) Ty: Well, I can't believe what a difference that made. That was great. Scott: Yeah, the exchange was perfect every time. But Emmett's team can't be using your jacket during the race. Amy: No, that's why we'll use blinders for the real thing, right? That'll block out all the craziness that's happening around her. Scott: Well, looks like you're back on track for the championships. Amy: Hey, good luck at the finals. And you... You wait for him, okay? All right, take care. Ty: See ya, guys. Scott: You're not gonna thank her? Emmett: For putting a jacket over her head? She just saved your butt. You could win this whole thing. That's what everyone keeps saying back home. They want me to be a champion, like you were. But nobody cares what I want. And what would that be? I already told you. You weren't listening. I wanna quit. I'm leaving the reservation. To go where? Moving to the city, like you did. (Clucks his tongue) Tim: Ha! He just said, "no," then he... he drove off in a huff. Really? That doesn't sound like Jack. I mean, he's the one who offered to help in the first place. Yeah, and I really need help at Maggie's. Maggie's? Are you kidding me? What? I didn't ask him to wait tables. I asked him to watch over the place. Casey: See right here? These are the famous Tim Fleming people skills at work. Tim: What does that mean? Casey: It means I don't why you're trying to push him away. You just took on all these high school rodeos, you could use Jack's help here. I have got it under control. I've even carved out a little Casey time... Casey: Yeah? Tim: Yeah, you and me, we're going fly fishing, tomorrow. Casey: You can't afford to take a day off, mister. Tim: You know what they say? All work and no play... Casey: Please! Tim: Come here. Casey: Woo! (Laughing) (Kissing) (Birds chirp outside) (Approaching footsteps) Jeff: Hey! Georgie: Oh, hey. You're back early. Yeah, the bands were pretty lame. This your new horse? Yeah, yeah, Checkers. Phoenix must be all jealous. Well, as long as there's someone to jump him, he's pretty happy. My friend Stephen's helping out with that. Stephen, huh? How good a friend we talking here? Really? This guy's your... boyfriend? No. He's not my boyfriend. All right. So... Jade, what do you think of her? Yeah, she seemed pretty cool for a... one of those university types. Georgie: University? Jeff: Yeah, she was going on about her classes at the U of C, but... I can never understand why people blow their cash on philosophy courses and basket weaving when... they could all be making money in the real world. Georgie: Hmm. What? Nothing. Come on, Georgie, what's wrong? Just... I hate when people pretend to be something they're not. I guess you know your brother pretty well by now. Uh... yeah, I guess. You're probably wondering why I've been acting so strange? Well, yeah. You have been acting a little different lately. Well, the truth is... I... I got fired. Georgie: Fired? Jeff: Don't worry, I'll-I'll be fine. But I don't really wanna get into it, so I'd prefer if you didn't tell anyone, okay? 'Kay. (Screen door opens, snaps shut) Jack: Hello, Georgie! Oh, you're not talking. You all right? Yeah. Actually, no. No, I'm not. Well, what's wrong? Well, you know when you think things are going a certain way, but... then you find out they're the exact opposite? Mm... what happened? Um... I'm sorry, Jack. I can't... I can't say anything. I'm sorry. (Truck rumbles to a halt) (Gearshift clunks, engine cuts out) Well, you did great out there, Amy. I couldn't have done it without your jacket. (Amy and Ty chuckle, kiss) Amy: See ya. Ty: Okay. Amy: Oh, hey! Did you talk to Wade this morning and tell him you can make it to family day? Ty: Uh... not yet. I thought you were gonna call him first thing? I know. Um... I will... do it. Why don't you just tell me what's going on? Amy, I just don't like those places, all right? So... (Door bangs shut) I'm listening. All right. Um... I haven't been able to sleep the last couple of days. I uh... I can't get these memories out of my head. Memories... Like visiting your mom in rehab? Yeah. First time, I was... eight years old and I didn't even know what the place was. My mom was so sick, um, I thought she was dying. I can't even imagine. Yeah... When I got older, I thought she was doing it to herself... And there was nothing I could do about it. Truth is, there still isn't, so... I'm gonna go with you. Amy, that's... that's not the point. I'm not... Amy: Yeah, yes, it is. You have a different life now, Ty, and I am a part of it. So I'm gonna face this with you, okay? Ty: Hey, Wade. It- yeah, I'm good. Listen, about next week. It looks like Amy and I will both be able to come out, so- (birds chirp outside) Uh... okay. Are you sure? Oh. Uh... Thanks for letting me know. Okay. Bye. (Phone beeps off) [SCENE_BREAK] (Dogs bark) Ty: Good morning. Scott: Hey. Field call? Yeah, it won't be long though. So, uh, it turns out I won't need that time off after all. I told you we'd be fine. I know. Just a... change of plans. (Bag rustles) Ty: So, uh, how's Emmett doing? He's still here, actually. Says he's not going back home. What do you mean? He wants to move to Edmonton, quit the relay. Ty: Well, what'd you say to him? Scott: What can I say? I left home and quit the relay when I was way younger than he is. He's just following in his Uncle's footsteps. (Dogs bark) Georgie: Yes, Lou. I've checked all her clothes before putting them in the dryer. Jack: (Whispering) Georgie! don't hang up. Georgie: (Whispers) Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Jack wants to talk to you. Okay. Okay. Okay, I love you too. 'Kay, bye. (Phone beeps off) Georgie: She is on a walk in Stanley Park with Peter. She says she'll call you back later. What? Lou said she'd call you back. Jack: No, no, it's not that. It's Georgie. Yesterday, she seemed a little out of sorts, but she didn't wanna talk about it, so I let it go. I don't know, you think she's worrying about Lou and Peter? Well, you can't blame her for wondering what's going on. Lou's been away a lot longer than expected. I hope everything's going all right. A romantic stroll in the park sounds promising. Yeah... hopefully she's not having too much fun. Jack: Why's that? Amy: Well, if Lou loves Vancouver as much as Peter, then she might move the whole family there. (Horse nickers, birds chirp) Jade: Hey, kid. What's with you? Georgie: University? Jade: I was just trying to look smart, okay? Georgie: Okay, well then wear a pair of glasses or something. Just stop pretending to be older. Well, he might think it's weird, you know, dating someone in high school. Georgie: Dating? Jade: It's possible. Georgie: Okay, well, in this fantasy world, where my brother is your boyfriend, when are you gonna tell him the truth? At the prom? Just chill out, okay? It's no big deal. (Door bangs shut nearby) Georgie: He's gonna find out. (Footsteps thud on the stairs) Jeff: What was that all about? Nothing. So I've been looking through the want ads. A lot of great jobs out there for a guy with a high school education. Short order cook, house painter, barista, Oh, and newspaper delivery man. (Chuckles, sighs heavily) (Footsteps clunk on stairs) (Car doors open) Jack: Hello there. Can I help you? Rodney: Rodney Cantrell. I'm here to see Tim Fleming. Oh. Well, I think you got the wrong place. He's over at Big River. Oh, I know, but he told me to meet him here... For my son's roping lesson. Oh, he did, did he? Okay, just uh... Let me sort something out real quick. Hang on. Derek: Come on, dad, he's not here. Rodney: Why don't you just be patient? We'll sort it out. Jack: Okay, I don't know where you are, but it looks like one of your big wig sponsor is here and I'm not gonna bail your butt outta this. (Snaps phone shut) Jack: Here's the thing... Rodney: Now you're not gonna tell us we drove all the way out here for nothing. Jack: Well, actually... Rodney: Oh, geez. You know I almost invested in this school? What is it? Some kind of a sham or something? Uh, no, of course not. I uh... It's my mistake. I thought that you were coming tomorrow is all. Yeah, so... I'm Jack. I'll be teaching the roping lesson. Rodney: Uh, Derek? Derek: Hi. Jack: Jack. (Dogs bark, cats meow, approaching footsteps) I got your text. Look, I know this is your decision to make, but... Ty: Amy... I really think you should reconsider. I think we should go see your mom. Ty: I do too. Amy: Oh? It's my mom... She doesn't wanna see me. Amy: What? Ty: It's like Wade said. She wants to keep things "low key." It's her choice, right? She must just be afraid. You know, she doesn't want you to see her like that either. Ty: Well, it is what it is. Everybody's got their family issues. And after all the work you did yesterday, Emmett's quitting the relay, if you can believe it. Amy: Really? Well, he's gotta just be afraid of another wreck. Well, I can't say that I blame him. What if you never got back on your motorcycle after the accident? I mean, you can't just live life in fear. Well, seems like that's exactly what Emmett's doing right now. Yeah... and your mom. Jack: Yeah, see you're not rolling your wrist enough. Derek: Yes I am. Jack: Well, no you're not. That's why you're having trouble keeping your loop open. Derek: Can I just throw it already? Jack: Not until you get your swing down. Derek: (Annoyed sigh) (Rope whooshes) Jack: Okay, here. I'll show you one more time. Now watch my wrist. And when I roll it, i can see the back of my hand, you know? Now point your finger down the spoke like I showed you and roll your wrist. (Rope whooshes) Ugh! How am I supposed to point my finger and twist my wrist at the same time? Jack: It'll come. Derek: No it won't. This is impossible! Jack: Okay, look, I can see that you're frustrated, but you're gonna have to put in a little effort here. Otherwise, you're wasting both our time. Wasting your time? My dad paid good money for this. Listen. I'll work for free if you show me just a little bit of grit. Now cowboy up, son. Or would you rather give up, go back to the city? (Rope thunks on ground) Rodney: I'll call you back. Derek: This is a waste of time. What the hell did you say to my kid? Oh, he'll tell you all about it, I have no doubt. Derek: Let's go! That spoiled brat had it coming. Well, maybe he did, or maybe I'm just kidding myself. That he could actually swing a rope? Jack: No, that I could actually teach him to swing a rope. (Knock at the door) Emmett: Uncle Scott? Ty: Hey, Emmett. He's actually out on a field call right now. Supposed to meet him for lunch. Ty: Oh. Well... (Cage door clicks shut) He should be back any minute. Do you, uh, want a coffee or... something? No, I'm good. So uh... Scott tells me you're not racing in the finals. Nope. Well, that's too bad. I mean, it's a dangerous sport, I mean I get why you're scared. I'm not afraid of getting hurt. Ty: Hey, honestly, I don't blame you Look, I got a lot to live up to, okay? Ty: What do you mean? With Scott? Emmett: It's tough living in the shadow of a champion. Ty: Champion? Really? Scott never told me that part. Emmett: Yeah, he was a hero on our reservation. We'd all go see him race. Hmm. Then, one day, he just... left us. I was mad at him for years. Now I get it. There's more to life than relay. Who needs the pressure? Ty: Huh. So you're not afraid of getting hurt... You're afraid of losing? Just tell Scott I'll be at the restaurant. (Receding footsteps) Tim: I just got off the phone with Rodney Cantrell. You know who I'm talking about. The guy that was gonna throw money at my school. What the hell were you thinking?! He was trying to save your butt. Tim: Thanks a lot. You just blew my sponsorship deal. Casey: C'mon, Tim. Jack: Hey! You are the one who dropped the ball here. You got too much on your plate and you're just too damn proud to admit it! Tim: See? Now you know why I didn't ask you to get involved in the first place. (Door opens) (Footsteps crunch on gravel) Georgie: Okay, that was totally unfair. I'm not in the mood, Georgie. (Frustrated sigh) (Crunch of receding footsteps) She's right, you know. I mean, you're the one who can't manage your schedule. Tim: You know, I can talk my way out of a missed appointment, I can't salvage that. You didn't even ask Jack's side of the story. Because I know how it goes. He sticks his nose in my business and it ends up bad. Do you think you might be overreacting a little bit? Casey... you have no idea what it's been like dealing with him all these years. Trust me. I am gonna end up looking like the bad guy here. Are you mad at me too now? I just thought you might have my back. (Door clicks open and bangs shut) (Birds chirp, feet scuff in the hay) Jeff: (Sighs heavily) Georgie: You say you're fine, but I know you're not. Can't you just tell me what happened? I thought it was going so well up there? It was... until my boss moved to another company, and the new guy... had it in for me from the start. Why? He didn't think that I had enough experience to run my own crew... And he was gonna demote me. Wait. So you weren't actually fired? It's the same thing. How could I face the guys that I work with? They'd think that I wasn't up to the job... And... maybe they'd be right. (Sighs heavily) So what're you gonna do? (Sighs) I was on this path and... I knew where I was going, but he just completely knocked me off of it. And now I just feel like uh... I don't know, it's... it's hard to explain. (Diners chatter) Scott: So how're you getting there? The bus I guess. Where are you gonna stay? I got a friend who lives downtown, says I can crash on his couch for a while. (Low hum of chatter) You got something to say just say it. Leaving the relay was the biggest mistake of my life, Emmett. (Snorts softly) Things seem to have turned out pretty good for you. It could've went the other way, trust me. The relay kept me focused. There was always a horse to take care of or a race to go to. And when I left, i didn't have that anymore. I didn't know what to do with myself and it led me down a very dark path that could've... landed me in jail, or worse. You can't be serious. You're actually trying to talk me out of doing the exact same thing you did? You're right; Talk is cheap. How about this. I'm gonna challenge you to a race. (Laughs) What? Are you crazy or something? Maybe. But here's the deal. If I win, you go to the finals, and then you go home, or at least until you find something worth leaving for. And... when I kick your butt? I'll give you a ride to Edmonton myself, and I won't bring up the relay ever again. All right, Uncle. Let's race. (Chair scrapes back) Rodeo and sports. That's the approbate viewing here at Maggie's. Okay? Waitress: All right. Tim: Good. Simple. Rodeo and sports. You can't talk to people that way. Tim: Excuse me? Georgie: I meant the way you were talking to Jack. Oh, here we go again. Okay. Georgie: Look, I was there. All he did was challenge the kid. You know Jack, he tells it like it is. don't you think you could use someone like that? Tim: Georgie, I appreciate you telling me how to run my business, but I don't have time. So why don't you go have a seat and I'll bring a couple of shakes over for you and gloomy Gus over there. Georgie: That's not funny. Tim: So what was his problem at dinner the other night? He doesn't want me to say anything. Tim: Oh, come on, you can tell me. I'm almost your grandpa or something. Yeah, actually, you are my grandpa. Fine, whatever. Come on, tell your ol' gramps what's wrong with him. Got canned, huh? Jeff: Uh... not exactly. Tim: don't look at your sister like that. It's not her fault. She's loves you and she's worried. So you got canned. So what? You gotta buck up. You just gotta get back in the saddle. I guess that's the cowboy's answer for everything, right? I just... get back on the horse and then I'm fine... Tim: Yeah, it is, only you gotta do it with swagger. Can you run that crew? Jeff: Well, I mean I can... Tim: And never mind what nimrod boss thinks. Can you run that crew? Jeff: Yeah. I was doing a pretty good job. Tim: Good. So you go back to him and tell him you want a chance to prove yourself. Can you do that? Jeff: Yeah! Tim: With swagger! (Laughs) With swagger... Tim: What're you smiling at? Nothing. Sometimes you just... sound a lot like Jack. Emmett: It's been a long time. You must be getting pretty scared there, hey, Uncle? Scott: Oh, the start of a relay is like... heading into the eye of a storm. Best thing to do is hold on and ride it out. Emmett: So you're old and wise now, huh? Scott: (Laughs) Emmett: Is that what I think it is? Scott: What, this old thing? Championship buckle? You should've left it in the '90s. Scott: (Laughs) (Coffee pours, door opens) Tim: Jack? Jack: I'm in no mood for your BS. Tim: Wait a second, before you lay into me. (Sighs) I wanted to say I'm sorry for what I said. Jack: Hey, save it, Tim. It's your school. You do what you want. Tim: That's right, it is. I want your help. And why would I do that? Tim: Do you... why do you have to make everything so difficult? I want you to help me because I can't do it all by myself. I wanted to, believe me, if for no other reason than to just say that I finally saw something through. But I can't do it. It's too much, Jack, I need your help. And you're the guy. The way you dealt with that kid, that's exactly how i would've done it. Then why did you come unglued on me? Tim: I don't know. I did the same thing to Casey when we left. When... I was fly fishing with Casey, I got a text... from Shane. Everything okay? Miranda's getting married... This weekend. Amy: Okay, on my cue. Man: Do it, buddy! Come on! Woman: You can do this! Woo! Amy: Go! (Horses snort nervously) Scott: Ungh! (Hooves thunder, onlookers cheer) Ty: Come on, Scott! Amy: That's right, Scott! You can do it! Ty: Let's go! Come on! (Hooves thunder) Amy: Okay, make sure Barega stays looking forward. (Onlookers cheer, hooves thunder) (Onlookers cheer) Come on! (Hooves strike loudly, horses grunt) (Hooves thunder) (Onlookers cheer) Come on! Woo! (Hooves thunder) (Hooves thunder to a halt) Amy: 'Kay, Scott, go, go, go, go, go! Amy: I got it! I got it! Man: Come on, Emmett! Ty: Ready? Go! Go! Emmett: Get outta my way, Ty! Go! (Onlookers cheer) Emmett: Hyah! (Hooves thunder, Ty and Amy laugh) Ty: Wow! That was crazy. Amy: Okay, Scott, go! (Hooves thunder) Amy: Open it up! Open it up! Ty: Run, Scott, run! (Hooves thunder, horse grunts) (Hooves thunder) Amy: Yeah, come on! Come on! Ty: Go, Scott! (Hooves strike heavily) (Onlookers cheer) Ty: Wow! Amy: That was intense! Ty: Yeah, what a race. (Loud buzz of chatter) Amy: It's just... too bad. Ty: Yeah. Thanks so much for us in. My heart is still racing. Scott: You guys did great. Ty: I can't actually believe that was you out there. You were really good. Scott: Not good enough. (Light tap) Emmett: Time to pay up, Uncle. Scott: Yeah. I guess you won fair and square. (Keys jangle) Nah, put those away. Not going anywhere. I want the buckle. To wear to the finals. You're gonna race! For years, I worried I couldn't live up to what you did in relay. I guess I was wrong, 'cause... I kicked your butt really good. (Laughing) Emmett: Thanks, Amy. (Birds chirp) Jade: I'm not a horrible person. What? No. Look, you never should've lied to my brother, but I never said you were a horrible person. Maybe a little boy crazy... hey! Well... maybe a little. (Sighs) You know he's upstairs in the loft packing, if you wanna go say goodbye. No. I feel too stupid about everything. Wait... So you're telling me you came all the way over here just to make sure I didn't think you were a horrible person? Mm-hmm. Oh my God, you know what this means? You actually care what I think... Okay, shut up. (Approaching footsteps) Jeff: Hey. Georgie: Hey! Jade: Hey. Here, I'll take this to the truck. Jeff: Oh. All right. O-kay. I have to tell you something. I'm in high school. I'm only seventeen. Jeff: Oh yeah? Well, um... I haven't exactly been... myself the last couple of days either. So... next time I'm back, would you consider going out with me again? The... real me? Jade: I'll think about it. Georgie: Ahem! Guys, still here. (Phone rings) (Phone beeps on) Jack: Hello. Well, Lou, sweetheart. Hey, I thought you were gonna call me back yesterday. Oh? Well that is fantastic news. I'll pick you up at the airport myself. (Door opens) Tim: Jack?! Oh... oh? Oh, okay. Well, then we'll see you here tomorrow then. Okay. Yeah, bye. (Phone beeps off) Jack: Lou's coming home. (Phone beeps off) Tim: Good. Great. Jack: Boy, this Miranda thing's really got you twisted up. Tim: I can't-I can't stop reading this text. Like... look- look at this. Shane writes: "You'll never believe this. Mom's getting married, dot, dot, dot, this Saturday - in capitals - exclamation mark." I interpret that, that he thinks she's rushing into it. Jack: Well... maybe it means that he's excited; that he thinks it's a good thing. Well, you know, I don't know how people think this is even communicating. Just call him, exclamation mark! Yeah, I should... I will. I... I'll call him, get it all straightened out. (Door opens, truck rumbles to a halt) (Doors clank open, bang shut) Amy: Are you coming in? Ty: No. I just wanted to give you a proper goodbye. (Kissing) Wow. That wasn't a "see ya tomorrow" kind of kiss. I'm going to visit my mom. What made you change your mind? I don't know. Maybe it was this whole Scott and Emmett thing... Seeing the kind of impact you can have on your family. I wanna help her stay clean this time. Amy: I still wanna come with you. Ty: I want you to come too. But I gotta think about what's best for mom. She's got a lot of pride, you know what I mean? Amy: I get it. You go. I'm gonna miss you though. (Kissing) You know, your mom is really lucky to have you. So am I. Ty: (Chuckles softly) I love you. I love you too. (Kiss) ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ♪ I'll see you on the other side... ♪ (Engine starts) (Truck rumbles away) ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh... Ooh... ♪ ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh... ♪

Amy and Ty help Scott's nephew realize he is worthy of continuing his family tradition of relay racing. Meanwhile, Georgie is caught in the middle when her brother Jeff and her friend Jade exchange half-truths and lies in order to impress each other. Tim refuses Jack's offer to help with the rodeo school but is forced to swallow his pride and accept the offer.

fd_Degrassi_Next_Generation_06x08

fd_Degrassi_Next_Generation_06x08_0

Outside the jail Sean: Hey sight for sore eyes. (Sean walks out and hugs Emma.) Sean: Ah yeah. (They kiss.) Sean: I'm free all thanks to you. Emma: All I did was help you get a lawyer. Sean: You got me a hearing. You got my sentence reduced. Emma: And two years of probation. Sean: Whatever. I'm out. Now we can be together. The perfect girl and the guy who doesn't deserve her. Man I missed you. (Emma kisses him.) Emma: I missed you too. A lot. Sean: Yeah? I also missed bacon double cheeseburgers with the works. Emma: I see jail hasn't turned you vegetarian. Sean: Sorry. Been dreaming about it for months. Emma: I guess I could put my carnivorous objections aside just this once, but first it's present time. (She hands him the picture that Spike took of them on their first date.) Sean: Is that really us? Emma: Six uber long years ago. Sean: Sometimes I wish I could stop time. Go back. Emma: To bad hair, braces and general pubescent awkwardness? No thanks. Sean: Back to a time when you were proud of me. (Emma runs her hand through his hair and touches his face.) At Emma's house Mr. Simpson: So how was the sofa? Not too lumpy? Sean: No it was great. Thanks. I really appreciate you guys letting me crash here until I get back on my feet. Spike: What are your plans now that you're out? Emma: Already with the grilling? Spike: I know you two are more than just friends Em. A mother gets to ask. Sean: That's cool. Jay is hooking me up with his boss. Apparently they need a new mechanic. Mr. Simpson: What about school? Have you given any thought about coming back to Degrassi? Sean: I got expelled. Mr. Simpson: Well maybe I could talk to her. Sean: No. I mean no thank you. I really don't want to set foot in that place again. Emma: Tell them about Cameron's Custom Cars. Sean: Someday I want to open up my own shop. Mr. Simpson: That sounds like a fine plan if you can find a bank manager who's willing to lend money to a high school dropout. Spike: Couple that with your record. Emma: Mom it's his first day out of jail. Can you go easy, please? Spike: Sorry. We're really glad you're here Sean. Mr. Simpson: And we're sure you're gonna figure it all out. Your life I mean. You've got lots of time for that. In the hallway (Danny and Derek are running in the halls and they run right into Mr. Perino, spilling his drink and breaking his mug.) Mr. Perino: Hey! How many times have I told you guys no running in the halls?! Danny and Derek: Sorry Mr. Perino. Mr. Perino: Sorry? Look at me! Look at my shoes. They're ruined. Derek: (under his breath) So buy some new ones. Mr. Perino: Are you sure you want to use that tone with your teacher? Believe me you don't want me to make your lives difficult. Mr. Simpson: Guys go get the mop from the janitor. Clean this mess up, capiche? Go. Mr. Perino: Smart asses, you know? They drive me crazy. Mr. Simpson: Just uh try to remember they're just kids. Right Dom? (He walks away without saying anything.) Mr. Simpson: Dom! At the garage Tony: Engine runs out. Sean: It's loose timing chain. Tony: Shimmy in the steering. You know how to fix it? Sean: Yeah. You machine the front rotors. Tony: Jay was right. You know cars. Sean: Cars are my life. You know, if you know how they work, they never let you down. Tony: Spoken like a true mechanic. Tell you what, we got a Lexus with a faulty AC. Go to work. Sean: You, you mean I got it? I got the job? Tony: Yeah not for long if you don't get to work. Sean: Yes sir. Woo! I got it man. Jay: What'd I tell you? In Mr. Perino's class Danny: After years of fighting, the second world war came to an end with the bombing of Hiroshima. Once the Third Rake finally surrendered, the iron curtain divided Europe- Mr. Perino: I think it's time this presentation surrendered and by the way it's Reich, not Rake. You're done. Danny: But you cut me off. Mr. Perino: The assignment was to summarize an event in your own words. Not bore everyone by copying the damn thing from your textbook. Danny: It's not my fault history's so boring. Mr. Perino: Well it might be to you, but I'll assure you history's a fascinating discipline. (Danny sits down behind Derek.) Derek: He was a teacher. Mr. Perino: Who said that? Mr. Higg you got something to say? Don't be a clown. Be a man and say it. Derek: Okay I will. Can't you give Danny a break? I mean he's trying his best. Mr. Perino: Tell you what instead of giving Daniel a zero for plagiarism, detention both of you and tomorrow I'll let you help him redo his presentation. At the garage (Emma tries to sneak up on Sean.) Sean: Hey gorgeous. Emma: How did you do that? Sean: You're a lousy sneaker and every car has at least three mirrors. (He kisses her.) Sean: Mwah! Emma: Based on the fact that your freshly pressed white shirt is now forgotten on the tool bench, you got the job? Sean: Your little pep talk helped. Thanks and a big shout out to Jay! He totally went to the mat for his bud, huh? My best friend and my girlfriend. The only two people I can count on. Jay: Girlfriend? Well I guess not even jail time can keep you two lovebirds apart, huh? Sean: We should all hang out, huh? Catch up on old times? Jay: Yeah Sean's not caught up on old times. Emma: Old times are overrated. Sean: Alright well uh, well I'm all done here. I'm gonna take my girl out for dinner. Jay: Go have fun. I'll lock up. Outside the school Danny: Detention rocks. I'd take it over history class any day. Derek: Plus we got Perino off our backs for now. Hey later. Danny: Later. (Danny leaves and Derek sees Mr. Perino standing by the bus stop.) Derek: Hey Mr. Perino. Mr. Perino: Derek. Derek: Something wrong with your car? Mr. Perino: Why? Did you do something to it? Derek: No. I just thought...bus stop. Mr. Perino: What, no funny jokes? You're not much of a comedian outside of class, are you? Derek: I'm sorry. Mr. Perino: Don't pull that innocent act with me. Derek: Uh I think I'm gonna walk home. (Derek starts to leave when Mr. Perino steps in front of him.) Mr. Perino: Let me make myself clear. Show me some respect or we've got a serious problem, understood? (Derek walks away.) At Emma's house Emma: Where is my lucky bra? The one that gives me Manny boobs. Manny: What's the big deal? You're just going on a date with Sean. Emma: It's not a date. It's the date. The "he's finally back in my life and everything has to be perfect" date. Manny: And you're just trying to live up to the pedestal that he's putting you on. Emma: There's nothing wrong with having a boyfriend who thinks you're amazing. Manny: Unlike those shoes, nobody's perfect. Emma: Least of all me. I went by the garage today and Jay was there. Manny: Three's definitely not company. Emma: Jay is Sean's best friend. How do I even begin to tell him what I did with Jay in the ravine? Manny: You were single. It was a crazy time. What were you supposed to do, sit home and knit? Emma: I'm not sure that Sean's gonna see it that way. Manny: If he really loves you then he should. After hours at the Dot Spinner: Okay I will be back in an hour to lock up. Don't break anything. Sean: We won't. Thanks man. (Spinner leaves Sean and Emma alone.) Sean: It's not much, but jail does a number on a guy's savings. Emma: The place, the candles, the tofurkey...everything is perfect. Sean: It is perfect. You're perfect. Emma: I've still made mistakes. Sean: You're talking to the master of mistakes. Emma: So you won't hold them against me? Sean: Of course not. Why? Is there something you need to tell me about? Emma: No. It's just...stupid. Sean: Nothing you say is stupid Em. You're the smartest person I know. At the garage Sean: Hey last night I thought Emma was dropping hints. Did something happen? Jay: No. It was probably nothing. Sean: If there was something, you'd tell me, right? Jay: Forget it. You're not hearing it from me. Sean: Jay come on. After everything I've been through, I can handle it. Jay: Fine, but I warned you. Alright while you were gone, Emma and I kind of fooled around. Sean: You had s*x. Jay: No. No, no, no. I mean not really. It depends how you look at it. I had more than she did. Sean: I can't believe this. You and Emma? Jay: Dude don't overreact. Look you'd just broken up with Ellie. You and Emma hadn't been a thing for like years. It just kind of happened. Once. You said you could take it. Sean: Just shut up, okay? Shut up. Jay: Man I'm sorry. Sean: I said shut up. (Sean walks away angry.) [SCENE_BREAK] At Degrassi Emma: Sean? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work? Sean: Never mind. Did...did you and Jay have a thing last year? Emma: Who told you that? Sean: Wrong answer. (Sean tries to walk away, but Emma stops him.) Emma: Sean! It was two years ago. Right after I had a gun pointed at my face. To say I was super duper messed up would be an understatement. Sean: How could you do that? And with Jay?! The thought of you two together makes me want to- Emma: What happened to "I won't hold it against you"? (Sean leaves and Peter walks by Emma.) Peter: Lover's quarrel? At the garage (Sean walks by Jay without saying anything.) Jay: Take it we're not cool? Sean: Don't talk to me. Tony: Jay get on the Lexus. Mr. Lane is my best customer. Jay: Uh you wanna hand me that ratchet? Sean: Get it yourself. Jay: Look it was over a year ago man. Just let it go. Sean: I'm not gonna let it go, alright? You took something that was good and you ruined it. Just like you always do. Jay: Right, right make me the bad guy. Alright whatever helps you sleep at night. Sean: You didn't care about Emma. You used her! You took advantage of her. Jay: I didn't take advantage of anybody. The truth is she chased me dude. She damn near begged me to let her do it. (Sean pushes Jay, he pushes him back and Sean tries to punch him, but misses and hits the wall.) In science class Science teacher: So each group is now holding a different part of the human body. I want you to explain in essay form the function of your part. Manny: Well this should be easy. (Emma stabs her pencil into the heart.) Manny: Em! You're killing Johnny Carcass-man! His heart's not gonna work with a pencil in it. Emma: I'm sorry. I was imagining it belongs to Sean, who found out about me and Jay from Jay. Manny: Ouch. Hope you had a soft landing when you fell off that pedestal. (Emma starts stabbing the pencil over and over again into the heart.) Manny: Easy cuckoo bananas! This is one of the few classes that I'm not failing. Emma: What is it with guys and their ridiculous double standards? They can do whatever they want, but a girl makes one mistake and her rep is tarnished for life! Manny: Look I know your little visit with Jay in the ravine may not have been on the Emma Nelson highlight rail, but no guy has the right to judge you. Especially Sean. In Mr. Perino's class (Danny and Derek walk into the room.) Mr. Perino: Derek can I uh talk to you a minute? (They go into the hall.) Mr. Perino: Look I just want to make sure there's no misunderstanding about last night. Derek: Well what you said Mr. Perino...was kind of threatening. Mr. Perino: Derek you're a smart kid. I hate seeing you waste your potential. I was just trying to motivate you. Derek: More like you freaked me out. Mr. Perino: Look what do you say we just forget it even happened? Derek: Yeah. Yeah I guess. Mr. Perino: Good. Look go in there and knock that presentation out of the park, okay? At the garage Mr. Lane: You remembered to change the oil? Sean: There's an oil change charge on the bill, isn't there? Mr. Lane: I've noticed a bit of pulling lately. Um how is the tire pressure? (Sean kicks the tire.) Sean: Seems fine to me. Mr. Lane: Maybe I should talk to your boss. Sean: You have a problem with my work, then you take it up with me. So do we have a problem? Mr. Lane: I have a mechanic with an attitude. (Sean steps up to him threateningly and he takes a step back scared.) Jay: Hey Sean back off! Look I'm sorry sir. His problem, it's with me. Sean: Tell Tony I quit. (Sean leaves and kicks the tool bench over.) In Mr. Perino's class Derek: And in late October 1945 the United Nations was formed. Danny: To promote human rights and prevent future world wars. Mr. Perino: Nice job you two. Okay, who's my next victim? Jackson? You ready? (He doesn't say anything.) Mr. Perino: Blank stare. Figures. Did anybody not stay up all night playing video games and looking at nudie pictures on the Internet? Take the zero. Derek: Why do you have to be like that sir? Mr. Perino: Do you have a problem Mr. Higg? (Derek doesn't say anything.) Mr. Perino: I didn't think so. Alright who's gonna butcher another presentation or do I have to keep handing out zeros? Hmm? (Derek takes his bag and walks out of the classroom.) Mr. Perino: Hey! Where are you going?! (Derek starts talking to Mr. Simpson in the hallway.) At Emma's, Sean is packing Emma: Classic Sean. When the going gets tough, the Sean gets going. Sean: Not much to stick around for. Emma: So the minute you find out I'm not perfect you run away? Sean: Not perfect? I'd say! Emma: Well what do you expect Sean? I'm a real person! In three months I'll be old enough to vote, to legally drink in Quebec. I'm not the girl you knew in grade seven anymore. Sean: What happened to you? Emma: I grew up! Maybe you should try it. Sean: My parents kicked me out when I was twelve, alright? I grew up in a hurry. I needed to, to survive. Emma: All you did was build a wall between yourself and the world, to hide behind! Sean: You let me down. My parents let me down. The school system let me down. I'm just saving myself from more. Emma: So all your problems are someone else's fault, right? Sean: It's not my fault you did that to Jay. Emma: And you'll never let me forget it, will you? (Sean starts walking away.) Emma: Okay little boy, I give up. At the bus station (Sean's ticket falls out of his pocket along with the picture Emma gave him and he watches a couple with their arms around each other.) Outside Ms. Hatzilakos' office (Mr. Perino leaves angrily and Mr. Simpson walks over to Derek.) Derek: Did he get fired? Mr. Simpson: No, but uh Ms. Hatzilakos is launching an investigation. Derek: I should have kept my mouth shut. Mr. Simpson: No you did the right thing Derek. Ready to give your side of the story? Derek: Is it okay if I'm a little scared? Mr. Simpson: Don't be. Okay I'll be in there with you. Come on. (They go inside and Mr. Simpson looks back at Mr. Perino.) At Emma's house Sean: This isn't supposed to happen. Emma: Didn't have to, but you made it. Sean: When I came back here from Wasaga, Emma...it wasn't for school or to open a garage. It was none of that. Emma: Funny thing is you got what you came for. Then you blew it. Sean: Don't give up on me. Please. Emma: I can't be perfect Sean. I can't be everything you need all the time. Sean: Good! I want you to challenge me. I want you to call me on my crap. Emma: Sure, but if we're gonna have a real relationship you need to save yourself from yourself sometimes. Sean: I'll ask Tony for my job back, okay? I'll get my high school equivalency. I'll start looking for my own place. Emma: And what about us? (He kisses her.) Sean: I want to get to know you again Em. Voiceover: In 2007, the series that pushes the limits is going there again. (A group of guys are shown walking outside. Ellie is shown with Jesse. Marco and Dylan are sitting together.) Dylan: Oh dear. Mia: I trusted you with my daughter! (Manny is crying at a hospital and Sean is hugging her.) Manny: This is my fault. Sean: It's not. Voiceover: Someone will return. (Craig and Ellie are kissing and Ellie pushes him away.) Ellie: You b*st*rd. It's all gonna be lies! Voiceover: Someone will fall. (Derek looks upset.) Nic: Lakehurst has declared war on your school. JT: You want a war? You got it. (Emma and Sean look at each other, Manny is dancing with some guy, a party is going on, Toby is kissing Mia, Ellie is covering her mouth shocked, Toby is getting punched in the stomach, Jay is getting a drink splashed in his face, Emma is at the party, Nic is kicking someone, Craig is singing with a bloody nose, Emma looks shocked, someone is holding a knife.) Voiceover: And someone will die. Liberty: Somebody help!

Sean finally gets out of jail and reunites with Emma, thinking that he has the perfect girlfriend, but he soon realizes that she isn't as innocent as she seems, when he finds out what she did with Jay last year. Meanwhile, Derek has a problem when Mr. Perino begins bullying him and Danny.

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fd_Doctor_Who_1963_20x12_0

MAWDRYN UNDEAD BY: PETER GRIMWADE Part Four First Air Date: 9 February 1983 Running time: 24:33 [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: What do you mean? DOCTOR: I can only regenerate twelve times. I have already done so four times. TEGAN: So? DOCTOR: Don't you see? Eight of them, eight of me. TEGAN: They want your remaining regenerations? DOCTOR: It's the only way to end their mutation. NYSSA: Is that possible? DOCTOR: With this equipment, yes. BRIG '83: Let's get back to the TARDIS before they become hostile. TEGAN: Come on, Doctor, we've got to get out of here. MAWDRYN: We're scientists, not warriors. We have no weapons. The Doctor can only help us of his own free will. TEGAN: What you want is murder eight times over. MAWDRYN: No. What we desire is our own death. [SCENE_BREAK] GUARDIAN (on scanner): Turlough, my plans are in hazard. This friend of the Doctor's TURLOUGH: The Brigadier? GUARDIAN (on scanner): He is present on the ship in two aspects. TURLOUGH: That isn't possible. GUARDIAN (on scanner): It is forbidden, but not impossible. He has travelled through time in the TARDIS. TURLOUGH: But if the two aspects converged GUARDIAN (on scanner): The instability could destroy everything. You must find the Brigadier who travelled with the Doctor's companions. TURLOUGH: Leave here? GUARDIAN (on scanner): You will obey me. The two Brigadiers must be kept apart. TURLOUGH: What about those creatures? GUARDIAN (on scanner): They are harmless. They only threaten the Doctor. [SCENE_BREAK] MAWDRYN: We did not know that our experiments would bring endless mutation. DOCTOR: You have the regenerator, the facilities of the laboratory. Continue your experiments, find how to reverse the process. MAWDRYN: We have known for many years that the process is irreversible. MUTANT: We have experimented for centuries. MUTANT 2: We have tried to discover a remedy. MUTANT: There is no remission. MAWDRYN: Only you, as a Time Lord, can help us. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Hello, Brigadier. BRIG '77: Who the devil are you? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: I cannot do what you ask. MAWDRYN: You cannot refuse. DOCTOR: I must. MAWDRYN: So be it, Doctor. Leave now, with your friends. But accept the consequences of your actions. NYSSA: What does he mean? DOCTOR: I don't know. BRIG '83: Back to the TARDIS? [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '77: So you're Turlough? Yes, Tegan told me about you. TURLOUGH: I've come to take you to the Doctor. BRIG '77: The Doctor? You know where he is? TURLOUGH: Of course. Come on. BRIG '77: Not so fast. Keep in the shadows. We have some disagreeable fellow passengers. TURLOUGH: They're harmless. BRIG '77: That remains to be seen. [SCENE_BREAK] MUTANT: The Doctor was our only hope. MUTANT 2: He must not be allowed to escape. MAWDRYN: My friends, do not despair. The Doctor will soon return. And of his own free will. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You see, Brigadier, thanks to your imperfect memory there is now a Lethbridge Stewart some six years your junior at loose in this ship. BRIG '83: Good heavens. You mean that I did go with Nyssa and Tegan in the TARDIS in 1977? TEGAN: And were we glad of the company. [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '77: This Doctor, what does he look like? TURLOUGH: Older than me, younger than you. BRIG '77: No, I mean, is he normal? TURLOUGH: Of course. BRIG '77: So, that deformed creature in the TARDIS was an imposter. TURLOUGH: Exactly. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Doctor, the Brigadier's here. BRIG '77: Doctor? BRIG '77: Turlough, what are you up to? [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '77 (OOV.): Turlough! [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: No sign of Turlough. BRIG '83: I never trusted that boy. NYSSA: He must be here somewhere. DOCTOR: Well, I hope so, because I've got to get the TARDIS away from here. NYSSA: And separate the two Brigadiers. BRIG '83: Ah, now, hang on a minute. I've been thinking about that. DOCTOR: There isn't time to think, Brigadier. BRIG '83: Doctor, we are talking about six years of my life. DOCTOR: Well, you're perfectly all right in 1983. Obviously your 1977 self came to no physical harm. BRIG '83: Well, maybe not, but I don't want to have spent a year or two in limbo on this ship. NYSSA: Look. DOCTOR: Stay here, all of you. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Turlough, listen very carefully. We have a problem with the Brigadier. TURLOUGH: What is it? DOCTOR: The two time zones. The Brigadier did go with Tegan and Nyssa. There are now two Lethbridge Stewarts on this ship. TURLOUGH: I understand. DOCTOR: Now, I will take the Brigadier in the TARDIS back to 1983 Earth. TURLOUGH: And me? DOCTOR: You must find the other Brigadier and take him to the transmat capsule. You'll be quite safe, the mutants won't harm you. TURLOUGH: But the transmat beam doesn't work. DOCTOR: It will. The capsule is locked into the TARDIS' homing device. It will transmat to the centre of the TARDIS. I wired the device myself. TURLOUGH: Of course. DOCTOR: Now, when you arrive, whatever you do, stay in the capsule. Don't let the Brigadier out until I give you the word. Now, quickly. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: Will the mutants really travel for the rest of time? DOCTOR: I'm afraid so. NYSSA: That's terrible. DOCTOR: Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of your actions. Now, let's get away from here. [SCENE_BREAK] MUTANT: The Time Lord has left us. MUTANT 2: Can we be certain he will return? MAWDRYN: He will return. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: It takes a remarkably cunning set of the coordinates to clear a warp ellipse. TEGAN: Doctor? DOCTOR: This is a temperamental old thing, but I'm getting remarkably good at sorting NYSSA: Doctor, something's happening. DOCTOR: Not at all. We're on course for the Brigadier's school. You see, there was a problem with BRIG '83: Doctor! NYSSA: Doctor, do something. BRIG '83: What on Earth is happening? DOCTOR: I don't know. BRIG '83: It's like Mawdryn in the laboratory. DOCTOR: Mawdryn? That's it! They've been contaminated. TEGAN: Doctor, do something. DOCTOR: No, don't touch them. The transfiguration can be controlled. NYSSA: Stop! DOCTOR: Stop. That's it. Travelling through time is accelerating the degeneration. BRIG '83: You've stopped the TARDIS? DOCTOR: Well, more than that. We're going back to where we started. I just hope it induces a proportional remission. BRIG '83: It's working. DOCTOR: Are you two all right? NYSSA: I think so. TEGAN: Doctor, what went wrong? BRIG '83: Look at them out there. I'll bet they knew this was going to happen. [SCENE_BREAK] MUTANT: The Time Lord has returned, as you predicted. MAWDRYN: The Doctor is not with us yet. He will not give up so easily. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You were infected when you carried Mawdryn into the TARDIS. The journey to his ship would have made it worse. TEGAN: Infected? You mean their mutation is a disease? DOCTOR: Well, it shouldn't be. I can only assume their constant experimenting to correct their error brought about a viral side effect. BRIG '83: Well, why haven't we got it? DOCTOR: I don't know. NYSSA: So we can't time travel. TEGAN: We don't need to. All we need to do is get the TARDIS back to Earth. DOCTOR: That won't work. I've got to programme a temporal deviation to escape the warp ellipse. BRIG '83: Are we stuck on this ship? DOCTOR: I wonder. If I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '77: So, you've stopped pretending to be the Doctor. MAWDRYN: The Doctor is in the TARDIS. BRIG '77: What? MUTANT 2: This man also is in the TARDIS. MUTANT: He is a deviant. MUTANT 2: There has been temporal duplication. MAWDRYN: The TARDIS will soon return. The imbalance could be cataclysmic. For your own safety you must return to the Earth at once. BRIG '77: Without the TARDIS? MAWDRYN: Quickly. [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '83: So far so good. DOCTOR: Oh, no. BRIG '83: But nothing's happening. DOCTOR: Oh yes, it is. [SCENE_BREAK] MAWDRYN: You will return to Earth immediately in the transmat capsule. BRIG '77: How the deuce do you expect me to MAWDRYN: Get in. BRIG '77: Look, if you think I'm trusting myself to this bauble MAWDRYN: The capsule is programmed for Earth. Quickly. [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA JR: It's no good, Doctor. DOCTOR: We're travelling in the opposite direction out of the ellipse. It's having a reverse effect. TEGAN JR: Stop! Stop! DOCTOR: Someone's trying to operate the transmat capsule. Must be Turlough taking your other half to the centre of the TARDIS. BRIG '83: Can the capsule do that? DOCTOR: Only when the TARDIS is clear of the ship. Until that happens, the transmat can't take place. The capsule will return to its terminal. DOCTOR: It's no good. I can't get clear of the ship without hurting Nyssa and Tegan. NYSSA: What are we going to do? [SCENE_BREAK] GUARDIAN (OOV.): You have failed me! TURLOUGH: No. GUARDIAN (OOV.): The Brigadier is still free. TURLOUGH: That's not my fault. GUARDIAN (OOV.): Why did you not transport him in the capsule, as the Doctor instructed. TURLOUGH: The Doctor? But I'm supposed to be working against him. GUARDIAN (OOV.): Imbecile! Why should you not profit by the Time Lord's cunning? TURLOUGH: I'm sorry. GUARDIAN (OOV.): So near the annihilation of the Doctor and you risk all with your negligence and stupidity. TURLOUGH: I can still keep the two Lethbridge Stewarts apart. GUARDIAN (OOV.): If you fail me again, I shall destroy you. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: We can't stay in the TARDIS for ever. BRIG '83: Well, Doctor? [SCENE_BREAK] NYSSA: You knew that would happen. MAWDRYN: Yes, Nyssa. NYSSA: You infected us. You passed on the mutative pattern. MAWDRYN: Yes, but not deliberately. TEGAN: What happens to us now? MAWDRYN: You will remain in the ship. TEGAN: For the rest of our lives? MAWDRYN: You're fortunate. Your journey will be short. Ours is without end. BRIG '83: We are not leaving them on this ship. MAWDRYN: Take them with you in the TARDIS and they will die. BRIG '83: Are you telling me that with all the facilities on this ship, you can't come up with some sort of antidote? MAWDRYN: We have no restorative for Tegan and Nyssa. BRIG '83: Doctor, have you got any ideas? ... You said in the laboratory that the Doctor could help you through that machinery. MAWDRYN: That is true, but only of his own free will. BRIG '83: Well then, surely he can do the same for Nyssa and Tegan. MAWDRYN: That is a question you must ask the Doctor. BRIG '83: Well, Doctor? TEGAN: Doctor? NYSSA: Doctor? DOCTOR: Take me to your laboratory. [SCENE_BREAK] MAWDRYN: The Doctor chose to involve himself. Soon he will be a Time Lord no longer. That is his reward for compassion. [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '77: Doctor! Where is he? [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: You will activate the energy transfer, Brigadier. It will take several moments for the charge in the machine to build up. You can read off the countdown to the moment of exchange. Are you all right? BRIG '83: Yes. MUTANT: Do not be afraid. When the moment comes, we will all share in the life force of the Doctor. MUTANT 2: Our mutation will end. MUTANT: You will no longer be contaminated. NYSSA: And the Doctor won't be a Time Lord any more. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Brigadier? Brigadier! [SCENE_BREAK] MAWDRYN: My brothers in exile, we approach the ending. DOCTOR: Activate, Brigadier, now. [SCENE_BREAK] GUARDIAN (OOV.): So near the supreme moment! The Brigadiers must not converge. Stop him, or I shall destroy you all! [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '83: Twenty seconds. Nineteen. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH: Brigadier! Brigadier, come back! [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '83: Thirteen, twelve, eleven BRIG '77: Doctor, Tegan. What the devil? DOCTOR: No, Brigadier, get out of here! BRIG '77: What do you think you're doing? Who on Earth? BRIG '83: I remember. [SCENE_BREAK] TURLOUGH (OOV.): It's cracked. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Are you all right? NYSSA: I think so. TEGAN: What happened? DOCTOR: A massive discharge of energy exactly synchronising with the moment of transfer. TEGAN: Is the Brigadier dead? DOCTOR: I don't think so. NYSSA: Doctor. DOCTOR: It's all right, old friend. BRIG '83: Oh, sorry about that, Headmaster. Touch of vertigo. It won't happen again. What the devil's been going on? DOCTOR: Nyssa, I want you to take the Brigadier back to the TARDIS, right to the centre, and keep him there until I give you the all clear. You'll be quite safe. TEGAN: This one must be all right. He belongs in 1977. DOCTOR: Amazing. The Brigadier's timing. A millisecond either way and TEGAN: And what? DOCTOR: At the moment of transfer, the power didn't come from me. TEGAN: Where did it come from? DOCTOR: Well, from the TARDIS, really. The two Brigadiers just shorted out the time differential. TEGAN: You mean zap? DOCTOR: Yes, that's right. Zap. TEGAN: Can Nyssa and I still time travel? DOCTOR: You're as good as new. TEGAN: Can you still regenerate? DOCTOR: I am a Time Lord. TEGAN: Look at Mawdryn. MAWDRYN: It is finished, Doctor. Can this be death? TEGAN: They're all dead. DOCTOR: They would have travelled for the rest of time, Tegan. Death was all they wanted. Come on, we must get the Brigadier back to 1977. TEGAN: Before we go, Doctor, thank you. You were prepared to risk everything for us. DOCTOR: Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '83: Look, what's been going on? NYSSA: The Doctor will explain later. [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: What's that noise? DOCTOR: The ship is dying with the mutants. TEGAN: It's come out of orbit? DOCTOR: Yes. Hurry. [SCENE_BREAK] RUNCIMAN: Brigadier? RUNCIMAN: Brigadier, what happened? I came as soon as I got your message. RUNCIMAN: You'll be all right. [SCENE_BREAK] BRIG '83: My word, you've been making some changes in here, Doctor. DOCTOR: One has to move with the times. How are you feeling? BRIG '83: Haven't felt so well for, for at least six years. DOCTOR: There we are, 1983. Back to school, Brigadier. [SCENE_BREAK] DOCTOR: Goodbye. BRIG '83: Goodbye, Doctor. If ever you're passing. Where's Turlough? DOCTOR: Turlough. He left in the capsule. NYSSA: He can't have done. If the Brigadier was still in the ship, he never used the transmat system. TEGAN: The auto-destruct! We've got to get back to the ship. Come on! [SCENE_BREAK] TEGAN: Oh, Turlough. NYSSA: You're safe. TEGAN: We thought you were on Mawdryn's ship. TURLOUGH: I'm not that easy to get rid of. TEGAN: So it seems. TURLOUGH: Doctor, may I join you? DOCTOR: I think you already have.

The Doctor is on the ship and his future looks bleak as he is about to loose all his Timelord abilities to the Mawdryn. Both the Brigadier's come in to the Mawdryns room with the Timelord artifact right as the transfer is starting.

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fd_Angel_01x03_0

Open to dark deserted back street. A blond girl is running past looking behind her occasionally before ducking into an alley. She looks back around the corner, then steps back on the street to continue only to be grabbed by the shoulders and thrown back into a trash container. Rachel: "Lenny... please... don't." Lenny: "You think I'm not going to find you,... after you humiliated me... again ?" Rachel: "I didn't do anything ! I swear ! I'd never..." Lenny: "No ! I know what you do. I see. The men,... the lies,... this is the last time, damn it !" Rachel, stepping towards him with a smile: "What are you on, Baby ? You only get like this when you..." Lenny hits her with a growl. Rachel: "What are you going to do ? Pulverize me right here ? Someone is going to hear me scream." Lenny, laughing: "In downtown LA at night ? Nobody is going to hear. Nobody who cares. Besides (pulls out a revolver and points it at her face) this will all be over fast. (cocks the gun)" Rachel: "Lenny.. please... no !" Lenny: "I'm sorry. (Rachel cowers back from him) I just can't take this anymore." Angel grabs him from behind and makes him drop his gun. Angel: "Poor Lenny. The burden of terrorizing your girlfriend too much for you ? (hits him) Lucky for you I can make it stop." Lenny grabs a 2x4 and tried to hit Angel. Angel ducks and cold cocks him. Angel: "Rachel, are you alright ?" Rachel: "Is he..." Angel: "It's okay. He's not getting up for a while." Rachel, getting up: "I can't believe you actually showed up." Angel: "Well, that was the deal, right ?" (Camera pulls back to reveal Spike watching them from a rooftop above them.) Spike in high voice: "How can I thank you, you mysterious, black-clad hunk of a night thing ? (low voice) No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. (Rachel steps closer to Angel, and Angel steps back warding her off with his hands) No, not the hair! Never the hair! (high voice) But there must be someway I can show my appreciation. (low voice) No, helping those in need's my job,... and working up a load of sexual tension, and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough ! (high voice) I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so... (low voice) Say no more. Evil's still afoot ! And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy hair-gel that I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away !" Spike lights a cigarette while he watches Angel lead Rachel away. Spike: "Go on with you. Play the big, strapping hero while you can. You have a few surprises coming your way... The ring of Amarra... a visit from your old pal Spike,... and, oh yeah,... your gruesome, horrible death." (He smiles.) *Intro.* ***** Cut to Oz driving his van through the night. ***** He pulls up in front of Angel's apartment. Radio: "Another uninterrupted 40-minute-block. You are listening to LA's only alternative KLA-Rock. It's 11:05, do you know what your karma is ?" ***** Cut to Angel's office. ***** Cordelia is typing away on the computer. Doyle lounges in the background reading a newspaper. Cordelia: "This is so awesome. Our first walk-in client. Everything is going according to plan ! See girl in distress,... see Angel save girl from druggy/stalker boyfriend,... and see (pulls a paper out of the printer and holds it up) Invoice ! Ta-da !" She shows the invoice to Doyle who looks less then impressed. Cordelia: "What ?" Doyle: "Nothing. You're doing a lovely job there. Looks very official." Cordelia: "So why are you not rejoicing at out first paying client ?" Doyle, getting up and walking over to her desk: "Because that's not money you're holding in your hand there, darling, that's mail. There's a big difference between that and actually getting paid." Cordelia: "But she has to pay !... Invoice ! That's the rule of our whole, like, society !" Doyle, leaning on the desk: "Defaulting ? That's another popular rule in our society... especially with the down-and-outs. Not that I've perpetrated said heinousness myself..." Cordelia: "So what are you saying. Why bother ?" Doyle: "All I'm saying is that if we're ever going to take that cruise to the Bahamas together, we're going to need a lot more clients of means." Cordelia: "And an alternate reality in which you are Matthew McConaughey." Oz, walking into the office: "Hello, LA." Cordelia, getting up: "Oz ? Oh, my god. (walks around the desk) Oz. It's so good to see you. (hugs him while Doyle watches askance) Good old Oz ! Oz. (turns to Doyle and points at Oz) Oz !" Doyle: "Let me just take a stab at it, you'd be Oz ?" Oz: "Good guess." Cordelia: "This is so cool! I mean, here you are in LA, and you're the total embodiment of all things Sunnydale." Oz: "It's a burden, but I manage." Cordelia: "We have some serious catching up to do. How is everything ? How's... how's the bronze ?" Oz: "The same." Cordelia: "And the gang ?" Oz: "They're good." Cordelia: "Good ?... Good !... Good." They look at each other for a moment. Oz: "Are we done ?" Cordelia: "Completely." (Doyle coughs.) Cordelia, going to sit down: "Oh, this is Doyle. He... works here." Oz, reaching over and shaking Doyle's hand: "Hey." Oz, sticking his hands in his pockets: "So, I heard the rumors, but you guys can fill me in on the real deal here. So you guys are... like detectives ?" Cordelia: "No, I'm an actress !" Doyle: "And quite a captivating one at that." Cordelia: "And between my many gigs, I sometimes choose to help Angel." Doyle: "He's the detective." Oz: "Does he have a hat and gun ?" Cordelia: "Just fangs." Oz: "Well, that works... Where is he ?" ***** Cut to Angel's apartment. ***** Angel walks through his downstairs apartment, looking through a book as the three come down in the elevator. Angel, without looking up from his book: "Hey guys." Angel, looking up: "Oz." Oz: "Hey." Angel: "Nice surprise." Oz: "Thanks." Angel: "Staying long ?" Oz: "Few days." Doyle: "Are they always like this ?" Oz, to Doyle: "No, we're usually laconic." Angel: "Come on in. (they walk further into the apartment) So,... good to see you." Oz: "I came primarily for a gig, but also to give you this." (Holds out a ring to him.) Doyle, going to take a closer look: "Wait a minute, is that what I think it is ?" Angel, making no move to take it: "It's the gem of Amarra." Oz: "One and the same. (tries to hand it to Angel, who after a moment accepts it) Buffy wanted you to have it." Cordelia: "Hey, Buffy. How is good old Buffy anyway ?" Oz: "She is..." Cordelia: "What ? Still the brave little Slayer or is she moping around in the dark like... (gets a look from Angel) like nobody around here. (holds up a hand and shakes her head) Hm-mm." Angel turns and walks away form them looking at the ring in his hands. Oz: "She is good... She is Buffy." Doyle, holding up a hand: "And I'm sure we'll be interested in that later, but right now can we concentrate on the mother-load Angel just hit ?" Angel leans on the table turning the ring in his hand and looking at it. Doyle: "What are you waiting for, man ? Put it on !" Cordelia: "Okay, you're getting weird about this ring. Since when did you go all versace about accessorizing ?" Doyle: "Since the accessory is priceless and renders it's wearer 100% unkillable if he's a vampire." Cordelia: "Unkillable ? Whew. You mean not even stakes ?" Doyle: "Not nothing. Not stakes, not fire, and the best thing is not even sunlight. (to Angel) I mean just think of it man. Poolside tanning, bargain matinees,... plus I know a couple of strip clubs that have a fabulous luncheon buffet, I mean, it's... I've heard." Angel, still looking grave: "And it's from Buffy." Oz: "Yeah. Your buddy Spike dug up Sunnydale looking for it. He got a fist full of Buffy and left it behind. She wanted to be sure it was in good hands." Angel, looking to the side: "So she sent you." Oz: "I was heading this way." Cordelia, to Oz: "And she didn't even send a note ? Wow. That's really... (Angel looks at her)... this is one of those times when I should just shy away from the topic, isn't it ?" Doyle, walking over to Angel: "Come on I have something that will boost your spirits. (picks up a stake) Why don't you put it on and I'll stake you. It'll be fun !" Angel, still playing with the ring in his hand and looking off to the side: "Maybe later." Doyle: "What, are you out of your mind ?" Angel: "I said, maybe later." Doyle: "Yeah..." Angel: "Doyle." Doyle, walking towards the elevator: "Okay, you have it your way, man. But I'm still going to celebrate with a drink down at the pub." Cordelia, to Oz: "He'd celebrate the opening of a mailbox with a drink at the pub. (waves at Angel as she follows Doyle) You coming, Oz ?" Oz, still watching Angel: "Yeah. I could eat something." Angel: "Go ahead." After a beat Oz turns and follows the others. Angel keeps looking at the ring. Finally sticks it in his pocket and goes down in the sewers. He takes it out of his pocket and hides it under a loose brick next to a pipe. ***** Cut to the office, the next day. ***** Cordelia is getting a cup of water for Doyle from the water cooler and sits down at the desk across from him. Doyle, moaning: "Oh, god. You know what would feel really good right now ? One of those mind-numbing, head-cracking visions that I get from time to time, (he struggles to get some pills out of a bottle) because that would really kill me now. Is there some kind of trick to this ?" Cordelia, taking the bottle from him: "I think the trick is laying of the ale (pulls out the cotton wad out of the bottle and shakes some pills into her hand) before you start quoting Angela's Ashes and weeping like a baby man." Doyle, accepting the pills and washing them down: "Hey, that's a good book." Cordelia: "So I've heard. But I doubt that the main characters are Betty and Barney Rubble as you so vehemently insisted last night. Also I don't think Oz appreciated being called my little Bam-bam all night." ***** Cut to Angel's apartment. ***** Angel is doing some Tai-chi. The phone rings and he goes to pick it up after the second ring. Angel: "Hello ?... Hello." Rachel: "Angel ?" Angel: "Rachel. Are you alright ?" Rachel: "They let Lenny out... The lawyer said something about a technicality." Angel: "I'll be right there." ***** Cut to the underground garage.***** Angel walks up to his car. As he reaches for the door handle a beam smashes into his head sending him tumbling back against the wall. Spike in vamp face: "Angel. I believe you have something I'm looking for... a shiny, little bauble ?" Angel, picking himself up: "Might as well go home, Spike. The gem of Amarra stays with me." Spike swings at Angel with the board. Angel catches it, hits Spike across the chin, in the stomach, then kicks him to the floor. Spike slowly getting back up, board in hand: "Why ? Because you are vampire detective now ? What's next ? Vampire cowboy ? Vampire fireman ? Oh, vampire ballerina." He charges Angel with the beam. Angel: "I do like to work with my legs." He grabs an overhead pipe and swings both feet into Spike's chest. Spike quickly picks himself back up and keeps stabbing at Angel with the beam, while Angel dances around him like a boxer, dodging the board. Spike tries to pin him onto the hood of the car but Angel kicks him off, taking the beam a way form him in the process. Angel, twirling the beam in his hands: "We duke it out, huh ? Is this your big strategy to get the ring back ?" Spike, attacking again: "Hey, I had a plan !" Angel, fending him off with the beam, then pinning him onto the car: "You ? A plan ?" Spike: "A good plan. Smart. Carefully laid out... But I got bored. (hits Angel and pins him up against the wall) All that watching, waiting,... my legs started to cramp. (throws Angel up against the door leading out) Enough with the hit'n'quip. Just tell me were the damn ring is." Angel, turning around in vamp face: "It wouldn't go with your outfit." He hits Spike around for a while and finally throws him against the wall just as Cordelia and Doyle run in behind Angel. Spike, slowly getting back to his feet: "Cordelia. You look smashing. Did you lose weight ?" Cordelia: "Yes, there is this great gym at... hey !" Spike, to Angel: "I'll get that ring. This isn't over until one of us is a pile of dust, mate." (Runs off.) Cordelia, to Angel: "Are you okay ?" Angel walks off a ways from then (still in vamp face) then turns around. Doyle: "More importantly, how's the ring ?" Angel: "It's fine. (morphs into his human face) I can't say the same for you two though. You better get out of sight until this thing is over. Spike is out for blood. (to Doyle) Take her to your place." Cordelia: "His place ? Why can't I just go home ?" Angel: "Because he knows you, Cordelia. If he wants to he'll track you down." Cordelia: "Yeah, but he's not invited, right ? He can't come in." Doyle: "No, but he can burn the place to the ground." Cordelia: "Okay then. Doyle's place it is." Doyle to Angel: "What about you, man. You know he'll be coming back for you before long." Angel: "I know." Cordelia: "So what are you going to do ?" Angel: "Find him first." Cordelia and Doyle: "Alright, let's go." They leave as Angel wipes at the blood at the corner of his mouth. ***** Cut to Doyle's apartment. ***** He is talking on the phone, while Cordelia is pacing the floor. Doyle: "Not Spice, that's the bird down on Broadway. Spike, like in railroads... Uhuh,... yeah, vampire, right... No ?... Okay, then. Thanks." (Hangs up.) Doyle, marking his open address book: "Frankie Tripod ? A big no." Cordelia: "Frankie Tripod ? Oh, I get it. Some kind of three-legged monster, right ?" Doyle: "No, he's human." Cordelia: Then why is his name... Oh..." Doyle, getting up: "Hey listen, why don't you sit down. Get comfortable. Angel said I should go through every name in my book until I get a bead on where Spike is hiding out. Could be a while." Cordelia: "Please. I couldn't get comfortable in here if the floor was lined with mink. I mean, how can you live like this ?" Doyle: "Well, I didn't until last week. Then I saw what you did with your place and I just had to call my decorator." Cordelia: "No way. My apartment is nowhere near this yucky. (sits down on a chair. Paper rustles. She gets up brushes it of the chair and sits back down while Doyle picks some laundry of another chair) It smells like bong water in here." Doyle: "Okay a couple of laundry might be a couple of days over due, but..." Telephone rings and Doyle goes to get it. Doyle: "Yeah ?... Hey, Kizzy. Yeah, vamp named Spike. No ? Okay. What, a "C" note ? I absolutely paid that back, man ! Hey, no, sorry, there goes my other line." He slams the phone down. Doyle: "He was mistaken, but I didn't have time to get into it, right ?... I'm on a mission here !... So what about this Spike ? Is he as bad as all that ? I mean should I be sweating ?" Cordelia: "He's really not... (sighs)... sweat." Doyle: "That's what I figured." ***** Cut to Rachel's apartment. ***** Rachel: "You keep showing up like this and I'm going to think you're a man of your word." Angel: "Stranger things..." Rachel: "Not many." Goes into the kitchen. Angel, following her, carefully skirting a patch of sun: "So we'll get you out of here. There are places you can go, where you'll be safe." Rachel: "Like a shelter ?" Angel: "It's a start. He won't be able to find you, I swear." Rachel: "No, it's not the shelter it's just... ah... Half the time, you how this whole thing starts up again, Lenny and me ?" Angel: "You call him." Rachel: "I... I... I just start to jones for him. The way he jones for rock. And I call, or I find him in some dive, and I drag him home, - and it's *good* for a while." Angel, shaking his head: "But it doesn't last. This last time he would have killed you." Angel watches with a sigh as she tries not to cry. Rachel: "I'm scared, Angel, I'm more scared of me right now than I am of him." Angel: "You're at a crossroads, I know. It's either go for the easy fix and wait for the consequences, or take the hard road and go with faith." Rachel: "Oh, god. You're not from that freaky church on Sunset, are you ?" She steps away from him. Angel: "In yourself. That kind of faith... What I'm saying is: if you leave Lenny for good, it'll hurt. But eventually you'll be stronger for it. And maybe you'll find your way to the kind of love you deserve." Rachel: "You mean the kind of love that comes without 911 calls ?" Angel: "That's the general idea." ***** Cut to Doyle's apartment. ***** Cordelia, eating popcorn: "Oh, yeah, Spike's nearly done Buffy in a few times. I mentioned that he's killed two Slayers already ?" Doyle: "You did." Cordelia: "Oh, and this one time he and Dru raised this demon that burned people from the inside. It was this whole weird thing with an arm in a box." Doyle spellbound: "An arm in a box ?" Cordelia nods. The phone rings and Doyle picks it up. Doyle in a nasal voice: "House of Pies." Angel in his apartment checking the mechanism of his wrist sheathes: "Doyle ? Is that you ?" Doyle: "Oh, sorry man. Just laying low. All those calls to past acquaintances stirred up a few, uh, old resentments." Angel: "I hope it was worth it." Doyle: "Yeah, well, listen Manny the Pig said he didn't know anything about a vampire called Spike." Angel: "So ?" Doyle: "So he said that before I mentioned anything about Spike. You'll find him at a joint down on third called the Orbit Room." Angel: "Okay. I'll start with Manny the Pig then." Doyle: "Work your way down." Cut to Angel slamming a guy down on a table. Guy: "He left for the club." Cut to Angel smashing a different guy up against the wall with his hand around his throat. Guy: "Try the game." [SCENE_BREAK] Cut to Angel slamming the Pig down on a poker table. Angel is grabbing him by the throat and getting right in his face. Three other guys there draw their guns and point them at an unfazed Angel. Pig to the guys: "Put them down. (they lower the guns. To Angel) He'll kill me if I talk." Angel: "How healthy do you think it'll be to stay quiet ?" Pig: "He's out back." Cut to Angel coming out the back door. He sees Spike snacking on a girl. Angel: "Let her go !" Spike, looking up at him in vamp face: "Did anyone ever tell you you were a real buzz-kill, mate ?" Spike throws the girl into Angel and stalks off in disgust. Angel to girl: "Run." Cut to Angel running after Spike. Spike comes up against a chain fence at the end of the alley. Spike, turning around says sounding bored: "Caught me fair and square, White Hat. (slowly lift his hands up over his head) I guess there is nothing to do now but to go quietly and pay my debt to society." Angel, closing with him slowly: "You think you can come to *my* town and pull *this* crap ? You never learn, Spike." Spike with a smile: "I maybe a slow learner..." Chains rattle behind and as Angel turns around a guy in white whips a chain around Angel's neck and drags him to the ground. Spike, watching the guy hog tie Angel: "But eventually I learn." ***** Cut to Doyle's apartment. ***** Cordy is sitting by the phone, Doyle is pacing. Cordelia: "Angel should have called by now. (sighs) this is bad!" Doyle: "Maybe not. Maybe he did away with Spike in short order, and decided to give a go at surfing ?" Cordelia: "Right !... What am I worried about ? Angel has the ring, right ?" Doyle: "Right ! I bet he is out hanging 10 right about now, out on the sandy shore at. Wind in his hair..." Cut to Angel hanging in a couple of chains by his wrists in a warehouse. Doyle voice over as camera pans down Angel's body: "Bikini babes a whistlin'" The white-clad guy form the alley puts on a classical LP the opens a trunk and takes out torture tools. Spike: "Marcus is an expert. Some say artist, but I've never been comfortable with labels... He's a bloody king of torture, he is. Humans, demons,... politicians, makes no difference. (starts to circle Angel) Some say he invented several of the Classics,... but he won't tell me which ones... beneath the cool exterior, you'll find he is rather shy... Except with kids. (to Marcus) You like kids, don't you Marcus ?... Well, likes to eat. (leans in close to Angel) and other nasty things." Angel thrashes in his chains and Spike pulls back with a satisfied smile. Marcus puts on wire-rim glasses as he walks over to Angel. He rips his shirt open and stares at his chest. Marcus: "His skin..." Spike: "Annoying isn't it ? Still attached." Marcus: "Over 200 years of living and so little external damage... What about internal ?" Spike: "Do you two need to be alone, or can we go on to the ouchy part ?" Marcus, laying his hand on Angel's heart: "He's known love." Spike: "Yeah, and with a Slayer no less. How is that for perversion ?" Marcus: "And he has a soul." Spike bored: "Right, vampire with a soul. Cursy-cursed to walk the earth trying to do good. That's not going to be a problem, is it ?" Marcus: "On the contrary. Creatures with souls have something to lose." Spike: "Souls, fingers, toes... Let's get chopping, will you ? I want my damn ring !" Marcus, to Angel: "What do you want, Angel ?" Angel: "Are you going to torture me, or just bore me to death ?" Marcus goes to pick up a poker that has been heating in a fire-barrel and stabs it clear through Angel's lower right chest. Angel suppresses a scream. Marcus: "Probably a little of both." Spike with a smile: "Someone's having shish kabob." Cut to later. Angel has several metal pokers sticking through different parts of his body. Marcus, playing with some pliers: "What do you want Angel ?" Angel, gasping: "A house in the country, a pair of good running shoes that you can also wear out to dinner." Spike, pacing impatiently: "Why do you keep asking him that ? And why do you keep playing that bleeding Brahms ?" Marcus: "Actually it's Mozart. Symphony 41. I find it very effective." Spike: "Yeah ? Personally I prefer his older funnier symphonies myself... LOOK I WANT MY RING BACK ! (kicks a box, the breaks a wooden handle and aims the resulting stake at Angel's chest) If I don't get it pretty soon, I'm going to stake me old Sire right here and now !" Marcus: "Are you finished ? He knows you won't kill him until you get the ring. He knows you're lying." Spike, dropping the stake, to Marcus: "*You* get it for me." Marcus: "Soon he'll want to tell me everything he knows... and then some... And he knows I'm not lying." Spike, looking at Angel: "I believe he does." Angel: "You're an idiot, Spike." Spike: "You think ? Because I'm not the one chained to the ceiling with hot pokers in my side." Angel: "You hired a vampire. What do you think he is going to do with the rings when he finds it, huh ? Hand it over to you ?" Spike: "Oh, good Lord, why didn't I think of... ? Oh, wait half a mo', I did. I hired a guy who doesn't care about the ring, or anything else on God's green earth except taking blokes apart one piece at a time... It's called addiction, Angel. We all have it... I believe yours is named Slutty the vampire Slayer. (music ends and Spike breathes a sigh of relief) Thank you !... Speaking of little Buff, I ran into her recently. Your name didn't come up. Although she has been awful busy jumping the bones of the first lunk-head that came along. Good-looking fellow... used her shamelessly... She is cute when she is hurting, isn't she ?" Angel: "I think she's cuter when she's kicking your ass." Marcus starts the LP over and Spike sighs. Spike: "I think I will go get a bit of fresh air... leave you two kids to it. (Marcus sticks another hot poker through Angel's thigh, who lets out a short scream) Now that is music !" ***** Cut to Angel's apartment. ***** Spike comes up through the sewers and starts to tear the place up. Spike: "If I was a ring, where would I be ?... Well, this is fun... But it's going to get old real fast." ***** Cut to the warehouse. ***** Marcus is circling Angel holding a pistol in his hands. Marcus: "Most things that live and breath hate the dark and love the light." Marcus shoots a hole in the ceiling and Angel flinches back from the beam of sunlight that streams in through the hole. Marcus: "We are different though, aren't we ? We hate the light of day, and it hates us back in kind. (shoots again)... You hid the ring Angel, or you could be walking in the light right now. So I have to wonder: what do you want if not the ring ? It's through the pain that we find the truth of who we are. It strips us of our defenses. We are made innocent again like children. I like children, Angel... I'm here to help you find that innocence, Angel,... here... with the light. (shoots again forcing Angel to strain away or burn)" ***** Cut to Angel's office. ***** Spike comes up into the office. Cordelia is waiting with a crossbow ready in her hands. Cordelia: "When you are done giving the place the Johnny Depp once-over... I hope you have the cash to pay for all of this." Spike, slowly stepping closer: "Cordelia. Love the hair." Cordelia: "Wish I could say the same." Doyle, aiming a gun at Spike: "That's close enough." Spike: "What is it with you good guys running in packs ? Who is this one then ?" Doyle: "More than meets the eye." Spike: "Ooh, the Mick's got spine ! Maybe I'll snap it in two." Cordelia: "Do you want me to use this ?" Spike: "You'll be dead before that arrow leaves the bow. (Cordy lowers the bow slightly) Now where was I ? Bloody tired of looking for that ring. I think you two should take over now." Doyle: "Where is Angel ?" Spike: "Angel, um... tall brooding guy, caveman brow ?... He's having the living hell tortures out of him. And you know how stubborn he can be, he might die before he gives up the ring. Why don't you two find it real fast and give it to me. I'll let Angel go." Cordelia: "I don't trust you." Spike: "To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase: 'duh!' But you have until sundown to save him. You'll find me behind Peterson's Fishery between Seward and Westminster. (walks off) Don't be late." ***** Cut to the warehouse. ***** Marcus: "You did terrible things when you were bad, didn't you ? And now you are trying so *hard* to do good. But Angel, there is nothing either bad or good, but thinking makes it so. (Angel is fishing with his feet for the stake Spike dropped earlier while Marcus back is turned)... Now I can make the pain go away, (pulls out a poker, Angel screams) and as you know, (pulls out another poker) I can bring it back again. (as he walks back to the table Angel manages to get the stake between his shoes) What do you want, Angel ? I think I know, but I'd like to hear it from you. The truth. I'll know if you're lying." Angel: "I want... forgiveness." Marcus: "Yes. That's the truth,... and you want to earn it. You're not the type that takes the easy way out. Which is why I like you so much. In the end you won't feel guilt... or remorse... or anything but pure darkness. In the end... the ring, the past... none of it will mean anything anymore. You'll be free. I promise." Angel: "And I promise (swings his legs up and drives the stake between his feet towards Marcus chest) to kill you." Spike, catching Angel's legs: "Now, now, staking the torturer is strictly prohibited." Marcus hits Angel. Spike, pulling Marcus back: "Easy, fella, still need that ring. (to angel) Now you've made him mad. Wouldn't want to be in your chains." Marcus: "Won't be long now." Spike: "Well, what's say I'll grab a pair of needle-nose pliers and give a hand ? ***** Cut to Angel's apartment. ***** Cordy and Doyle are rifling Angel's apartment. Cordelia: "Drat !" Doyle: "What ?" Cordelia: "It's not in the freezer and it's not in the toilet tank. In the movies it's always in one of those places." Doyle: "It's not here." Cordelia: "We've looked everywhere !" Doyle: "Except..." Cordelia: "The rat infested sewer tunnels he uses to get around in the day time." Cut to the sewers. Cordy and Doyle are searching, each holding a flashlight. Cordelia: "This is not a needle in a haystack, this is a needle in Kansas." Doyle: "Yeah, I know, you're right. We just got to keep looking." Doyle lets Cordy get a ways ahead of him just watching her back, Suddenly blue spikes pop out all over his face. He sniffs the air, then the spikes disappear and he walks over to where Angel his the ring and picks it up. Doyle: "Here !" Cordelia, coming running back: "How did you do that ?" Doyle: "You got to get lucky sometimes." Cordelia: "I could hug you ! (when Doyle spreads out his arms) You're not that lucky. Now, come on we've got save Angel !" Doyle: "Right, by giving Spike exactly what he wants so he can kill us." Cordelia: "Right !... No, we need a plan." *****Cut to the Fishery. ***** Spike is waiting in the shadows behind the Fishery. Cordy and Doyle walk up. Spike: "So... where is my ring ?" Doyle: "Not on us." Cordelia: "But we know where it is." Spike: "And suddenly I'm so painfully bored. Time runs short, children. Give me that ring as if Angel's life depended on it." Cordelia: "Listen you little Cockney, take us to Angel now." Doyle: "So if he's still in one piece we tell you where you can find the ring." Spike: "He is still alive I think. In one piece was never part of the deal." ***** Cut to the warehouse. ***** Angel is slumped in his chains. Spike, Cordy and Doyle walk in. Spike: "Lucy, I'm home." Cordelia, running towards Angel: "Angel !" Spike, holding her and Doyle back: "hey, hey ! A deal's a deal." Angel: "Cordelia." Spike: "And our deal was for the ring. You've wasted quiet enough of my time, so I'd really like it... NOW !" Doyle: "You want the ring, you dog ? (pulls it out of his pocket and throws it past Angel) Go fetch !" Cordelia: "Okay. You've got the ring, we've got Angel. And now you're going to leave us alone, and we're going to leave." Spike: "Come on. You don't really thin that we're going to do that, do you ?" (As Spike reaches for the ring you can hear tires squealing.) Cordelia: "Not really." Doyle: "No." Oz van bursts through the side of the warehouse, rams through some barrels and comes to a screeching halt behind Angel as Spike rolls out of its way. Oz pulls out two crossbows and aims them out of the driver's side window while Cordy and Doyle free Angel and help him into the back of the van. Oz: "Spike." As the van backs out of the warehouse, Spike looks around for the ring in vain. Spike: "Where is the ring ?... Bloody hell." Cut to Marcus slowly walking out into the sun. He does not burn. Cut to Spike having a tantrum in the warehouse. Spike: "Son of a bitch !... I do the work,... I do the digging,... fight off a Slayer,... drive to LA, fire the help,... and what do I get ?... ROYALLY SCREWWED, is what !... Well that cinches it. No more partners. From now on I'm my own man. A lone wolf. Sole survivor. Look out, here comes Spike! The baddest mother... (a beam of sunlight from one of the bullet holes hits the back of his head and his hair ignites) Ahh ! (he ducks and puts his hair out with his hands) I really hope they kill each other." ***** Cut to the beach. ***** Marcus is walking onto a pier in full sunlight. ***** Cut to Oz' van. ***** Oz: "How is he doing ?" Doyle: "He'll live." Cordelia: "Not without help. We need to get him to a hospital." Oz: "I hear you. But which one ? They all tend to specialize in humans." Doyle: "He's right, too risky. Do you know any first aid ?" Oz: "Basic sixth grade, but I can improvise. If we can get him some place dark, maybe I can..." Angel: "Turn around!" Oz: "Angel." Cordelia: "He's delirious. Ignore him." Angel: "Turn around!" Cordelia: "So you can do what ? It's daylight and you're ringless. Unless you're changing the act to human torch, I don't think so." Doyle: "She's right. You're death on toast, man. You're in no shape to be fighting a torture demon." Angel pulls out the last poker still stuck in his side. Angel: "God !... Okay, he's got a thing for children. Oz... turn around. He couldn't have gone far." Oz spins the van around. ***** Cut to the pier. ***** Marcus is looking at a group of scouts. Marcus: "Hello boys and girls." Oz drives onto the pier and rams into him sending him flying. Cordelia gets out. Cordelia to scouts: "Run, now. Move your little scout legs. Now ! Go ! Come on !" Oz shoots Marcus in the chest with a crossbow bolt. Marcus just pulls it back out and throws it away. Doyle: "Damn it. I'll get him." He and Marcus start to fight. Marcus knocks Doyle down. Cordelia: "Doyle !" Oz to Angel in the back of the van: "You're sure about this ?" Angel: "Yeah." Oz opens the side door and Angel launches himself out with a scream. He catches fire as he runs to tackle Marcus. They crash through the railing and into the water below. Cordelia, looking over the railing: "Where is he ?" Cut to the dark area under the pier. Angel and Marcus stand up in the shallow water. They fight. Luckily for Angel Marcus isn't the best fighter. They are pretty evenly matched. Marcus: "What were you planing to do ? Kill me ?" Angel: "Well, after all, I promised." They fight some more. Angel: "You never cracked me, Marcus... You tried, and you failed. Now that (Angel manages to impale Marcus on a board that's sticking out) that's got to be torture." Angel pulls the ring off Marcus' finger and he dusts with a scream. Angel slowly puts the ring on his hand and hesitantly steps out from under the pier blinking at the sun, looks around in wonder. Cordelia: "Are you all right ?" Angel: "Fine... (to Oz) Thanks for the help, man. You were key." Oz: "You're... incredibly pale." Cordelia: "Look, you should lie down. We should take you home." Doyle: "Just give him a minute." Angel wanders out on the beach looking amazed. Oz: "He's very pale. Paler than most people." ***** Cut to the top of a skyscraper. ***** Angel is watching the sun set. Doyle: "So how long has it been between sunsets ?" Angel: "200 years, give or take." Doyle: "Well you got to be feeling pretty damn good then, huh? I mean this ring - changes everything, don't it ?... Yeah, it's spectacular, I know. But I do promise that there will be another one exactly like it tomorrow." Angel: "Not for me." Doyle: "What are you saying ? That the city will be hit by a meteor before tomorrow night or..." Angel: "No." Doyle: "No. It's to horrible to say the other. I can't even bring myself to say the other." Angel: "I'm not going to wear the ring." Doyle: "That was the other... You got a real addiction to the brooding part of life. Anyone ever tell you that?" Angel: "Once or twice." Doyle: "Care to explain ?... I mean this ring is your redemption. It's what you've been waiting for." Angel: "nah, it just looks like it.' Doyle: "Angel, man, think what you're saying." Angel: "I have. I've thought of it from every angle, and what I figure is I did a lot of damage in my day, more than you can imagine." Doyle: "So what, you don't get the ring because your period of self-flagellation isn't over yet ? I mean think of all the daytime people you could help between 9 and 5." Angel: "They have help. The whole world is designed for them, so much that they have no idea what goes on around them after dark. They don't see the weak ones lost in the night,... or the things that prey on them. And if I join them, maybe I'd stop seeing, too." Doyle: "And who'd look out for all the insomniacs?" Angel: "I was brought back for a reason, Doyle, and as much as I would like to kid myself, I don't think it was for 18 holes at Rancho." The sun sinks below the horizon. Angel takes off the ring, picks up a brick and smashes it. (Big green flash of light.) Doyle: "Oh, and that Rachel girl with the crazy boyfriend called. Said to say thanks, and that she found a little faith. Said you'd know what that means." Angel: "I don't know about you, but I had a nice day... You know, except for the bulk of it, where I was nearly tortured to death." Doyle: "Yeah, well, you stood up." Angel: "Oh, god. I was this close to telling him everything. I mean, one more hot poker and I was giving him the ring, your mom,... everything... How is your mom ?"

Oz comes to LA with a gift from Buffy. She has sent Angel the Ring of Amara, which makes any vampire wearing it "unkill-able." Unfortunately for Angel, Spike has also arrived in town and he's determined to get the ring for himself. Angel soon finds himself in deep trouble and it's up to Doyle, Oz and Cordy to save him.

fd_Teen_Wolf_03x15

fd_Teen_Wolf_03x15_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Mr Yikumura: Kira, you forgot all the research you did for that boy you like. Derek: We're not leaving without it. Peter: Somebody really doesn't want our hands in there. Chris: We're gonna need a lot more help. Stiles: Lydia's got sort of a talent. Lydia: I'm psychic. Deaton: You opened a door. It will draw them here, like a beacon. Agent Mccall: Bring him around back. And keep it quiet. No one needs to know except for the people who absolutely need to know. Melissa: Oh, here we go. Sheriff: Hey. He is not coming in. Agent Mccall: This is the only hospital that will take him. Sheriff: What about County? Agent Mccall: You'd be surprised how fast things fill up when a guy like this needs surgery. Melissa: They turfed him to us? Sheriff: Yeah. If County doesn't want to operate on him Agent Mccall: Then someone has to. Melissa: Somebody needs to do his pre-op interview. Agent Mccall: Who usually does that? Melissa: Me. Stiles: Get your ass down here now. We have a job to do. Scott: Dude, I'm already in bed. And aren't we getting a little old for this? Stiles: We do this for Coach. Scott: I thought we did this to Coach. Stiles: Whatever, okay? You know he needs this. He lives for this stuff. He loves it. Scott: But it's the middle of the night. Stiles: Which means it's after midnight and officially Mischief Night/Day, and, by perfectly awesome coincidence, it's also happens to be Coach's birthday. So if you are not down here in five seconds, I will destroy you. Okay? And I mean five, four, three, two - Scott: One. Stiles: I hate you. Agent Mccall: Try to keep in mind exactly what this guy's capable of. He's a former electrical engineer who decided to walk onto a school bus with a shrapnel bomb. He left four students dead and a fifth with no legs. Melissa: Just out of curiosity, have any of his psychiatrists made any progress? Agent Mccall: I'm told this is the same thing almost every day. When he gets out, he's going to do it again. And next time, he's going to get it right. Melissa: Mr. Barrow, do you understand that scar tissue has formed around a piece of shrapnel that remains in your body from a previous injury and that it is now blocking vital functions? Barrow: Yes. Melissa: Do you understand that we must put you under general anesthesia tomorrow morning in order to remove the obstruction? Barrow: Do the kids still pull pranks the day before Halloween? Melissa: You mean Mischief Night? Barrow: Where I'm from, we called it Hell Night. Hmm. And, yes, I understand. Melissa: Do you have any allergies to any medications? Barrow: No. Melisssa: Are you taking any medications other than the ones listed here? Temazepam. Divalproex. Barrow: I just take what they give me. Melissa: I'm going to need to listen to his heart.In And out. In. In. Barrow: Why don't you just ask the question you really want to ask? Melissa: Why did you do it? Barrow: I saw their eyes. Their eyes were glowing. I saw them. I saw their eyes! Their eyes were glowing! Their eyes were glowing! Their eyes were glowing! Scott: You're back in school? Ethan: No, just to talk. Stiles: Oh. That's kind of a change of pace for you guys. Usually, you're just hurting, maiming, and killing. Aiden: You need a pack. We need an Alpha. Stiles: Yeah. Absolutely not. That's hilarious though. Aiden: You came to us for help. We helped. Stiles: You beat his face into a bloody pulp. That's not helping. In my opinion, that's actually counter-productive. Scott: Why would I say yes? Aiden: We'd add strength. We'd make you more powerful. There's no reason to say no. Isaac: I can think of one. Like the two of you holding Derek's claws while Kali impaled Boyd. In fact, I don't know why we're not impaling them right now. Aiden: You want to try? Scott: Sorry, but they don't trust you. And neither do I. Ethan: What now. No. No way. Aiden: We never finished. Ethan: And we don't have to. Aiden: What if I want to? Ethan: You You seriously want to go back to high school? Is this about Lydia? Aiden: This is about getting Scott to change his mind. We're not just Betas anymore. We're Omegas. The bitches, remember? When everyone we've screwed over finds out we don't have a pack anymore, what do you think's going to happen? We're dead on our own. Ethan: That's still better than being back in high school. I'm not doing it. No way. What? I'm not taking math. Aiden: I'll take it for you. Stiles: All right, that's my face! Hey, dude, good decision, buddy. Good Alpha decision. Scott: I hope so. Stiles: No, you know so. than I can take What are you looking at? Scott: Me? Stiles: You. You looking at her? Scott: Her? Who her? Stiles: Her her. Kira. You like her? Scott: No. I mean Yeah, yeah, she's okay. She's new. Stiles: So, ask her out. Scott: Now? Stiles: Yes, now. Scott: Right now? Stiles: Right now. Scott, I don't think you get it yet. You're an Alpha. You're the apex predator. Everyone wants you. You're like the hot girl that every guy wants. Scott: The hot girl? Stiles: You are the hottest girl. Isaac: What? Scott: I'm the hot girl. Isaac: Yes, you are. Coach: Peek-a-boo! That's all you got? That's it? Son of a bitch! Mischief Night, Devil's Night. I don't care what you call it. You little punks are evil. You think it's funny every Halloween my house gets egged? A man's house is supposed to be his castle. Mine's a frickin' omelet. Oh, this? We're gonna do this again? I don't think so. "Happy Birthday." "Love, Greenberg." Danny: What are you doing? Lydia: There's a fly. Doctor: Anybody else here think I should make a minor slip and let this b*st*rd bleed out on the table? That's just a little surgical humor, Melissa. Relax. Clamp, please. Suction. Let's see what we have here. Oh! Okay, that's That's That's not shrapnel. Uh, 10 blade. What's the problem? You're missing your 10 blade? Melissa: Doctor Doctor, I think you should see this. I really think you should see this. Ah! Move! Move! Melissa: He's gone. Barrow's gone. He's going to be okay. Stay with me. Peter: Ow! Don't you have any anesthetic? Derek: Yep. Peter: Well, are you at least going to tell me what I risked life and digit for? Derek: I'm going to show you. After the fire, that's all that was left of her. Peter: Talia. I can't decide if that's touching or morbid. I guess the real question is, what are you planning on doing with them? Derek: I have to ask her something. And from what I've heard, this is the only way it's possible. Peter: You gotta be kidding me. Derek: Why do you think I sewed your finger back on? Melissa: Sheriff? Sheriff. Sheriff: Hey. Melissa: These dead flies everywhere? They came out of Barrow. Out of his tumor. Sheriff: Is that even possible? Melissa: Maggots can come from the body. It's called myiasis. But from the stomach? It's not likely. And there's something else. Last night, he told me why he killed those teenagers. Sheriff: Yeah, I know. I read the report. Glowing eyes. Melissa: We know a few kids that fit that description. Agent Mccall: Listen up, everyone. The stolen ambulance has been spotted. Corner of Truman and Spaulding. Sheriff: That's three blocks from the school. Let's go. Go! Lydia: Oh, no. I don't think so. There's no way you come back here after two weeks of nothing, with your cute little smile, the dark eyes, the brooding forehead, the muscles, and suddenly we're ripping each other's clothes off in Coach's office. No way. It's not gonna happen. Aiden: Guidance office? Lydia: Okay. Stiles: Wait a minute, wait a minute! The William Barrow? The Shrapnel Bomber? Spotted nearby? Sheriff: A little closer than nearby, actually. Agent Mccall: How do we get down to the basement? I need to know where every entrance is. I don't want anybody coming in or out of the school. Stiles: Dad, what's really going on here? Isaac: Barrow went after kids with glowing eyes? He said those exact words? Stiles: Yeah. And no one knows how he woke up from anesthesia. Just that when they opened him up, they found a tumor full of live flies, which in any other circumstance would be all kinds of awesome. Lydia: Did you say flies? Allison: Lydia? Lydia: All day I have been hearing this sound. It's like This buzzing. Allison: Like the sound of flies? Lydia: Exactly like the sound of flies. Mr Yukimura: All I'm saying is, I don't understand why you're sitting here with me instead of in the cafeteria with the other kids. Kira: Maybe I want to keep you company. Mr Yukimura: You should be embarrassed to be seen with me. Not keeping me company. Kira? You must have some friends by now. Kira: I don't know what's wrong with me. I had a lot of friends back home. But here it's like every time I open my mouth, I just start rambling like an idiot. Mr Yukimura: Try again. Fail again. Fail better. Kira: Are you quoting Samuel Beckett to me? Mr Yukimura: I thought that was Yoda. Someone will show an interest. You're a beautiful girl. How could they not? Kira: The only one who's shown any interest in me is a rabid coyote. Mr Yukimora: Maybe you could date the coyote? Kira: I don't want a date. And I definitely don't need a boyfriend. I just want to make a few friends. Stiles: Sorry...Hey, dude, where the hell have you been? Lydia: The police are leaving. Why are they leaving? Scott: The police? Stiles: They must have cleared the building and grounds, which means he's not here. Scott: Who? What are you guys Lydia: He has to be here. That sound The buzzing I've been hearing? It's getting louder. Stiles: How loud? Dad! Dad! Sheriff: Yeah? Stiles: You can't leave yet. Sheriff: We got an eyewitness that puts Barrow by the train station. Agent Mccall: Let's go, Stilinski. Stiles: Whoa, whoa. Dad, please just Lydia said that he's still here. Sheriff: Did she see him? Stiles: Not exactly. No. Well, not at all actually. But she has a feeling. A supernatural feeling. Sheriff: Lydia wasn't on the chessboard. Stiles: She is now. Sheriff: Kanima? Stiles: Um, Banshee. Sheriff: Oh, God. Stiles: I know. I know how it sounds. But basically it means that she can sense when someone's close to death. Sheriff: Can she sense that I'm about to kill you? Stiles: I don't know. Sheriff: All right, look, I'm not saying I don't believe, but right now, I'm going with eyewitness over Banshee. We're leaving a few deputies here. The school's on lockdown till 3:00. Nobody comes in, nobody goes out. Buddy, that's the best I've got right now. That's the best I can give you, Stiles. Stiles: You're leaving me here, that is not That is the worst. Scott: You got it? Melissa: Promise me you'll be careful. I looked right in this guy's eyes, and it was terrifying. Scott: Yeah. Okay, Mom, I promise. Okay? Melissa:Okay. Scott: Lydia thinks that he's still here even though the cops searched the whole school. But they didn't have one thing Our sense of smell. Allison: The Bestiary is literally If I'm going to find anything about flies coming out of people's bodies, it could take me all night. Lydia: And remember, the word in archaic Latin for fly is musca. Allison: Got it. Lydia: Where do we start? Stiles: Upstairs. We gotta go. [SCENE_BREAK] Isaac: So this is how it's gonna be now? We trust them? Scott: Just because I'm letting them help, doesn't mean I trust them. Isaac: Yeah, well, I don't trust them either. Or like them. In fact, I hate them and just want them to die. Scott: Well, if Barrow's actually here and he's got a plan, you might get what you want. Aiden: You got something? Ethan: Oh, really? Lydia: Scott and Isaac are in the basement, right? Stiles: Yeah, with Ethan and Aiden. The plan is they meet in the middle, in the boiler room. Lydia: All of the wolves All of the ones with glowing eyes are in the basement at the boiler room? Stiles: Oh, my God! An engineer could use a boiler room to blow up the whole school. Lydia: We have to get them out of there. Stiles: We have to get everyone out. Lydia: How do we do that? Coach: Wow. Pulling a fire alarm on Mischief Night is one thing. Doing it when there's a mass murderer spotted nearby is insane! If I was four years younger, I'd punch you. Stiles: What? Coach, that doesn't make sense. Coach: Oh, well, it does to me! Stiles: There. Aiden: We didn't find anything. Scott: Not even a scent. Stiles: It's 3:00, so school's over. If there was a bomb, wouldn't he have set it off by now? Aiden: Does that mean everybody's safe? Lydia: I don't know. I just I don't know. Coach: How loud are you playing that thing? Let's go! Get the hell out of here! Peter: You know, there's always an element of danger to rituals like this. I'm not particularly fond of them. Unless they somehow benefit me. Derek: What do you want? Peter: I want to keep them. Sentimental value. She was your mother, but she was also my sister. What? Am I not allowed a little bit of sentiment? Derek: Too long. Peter: No! No, wait! Mr Yokumura: Kira? Get ready for dinner. And put on something nice. Kira: Why would I need to wear something nice? Mr Yokumura: I invited a guest for what I like to call the. "Thank You for Saving My Daughter from Becoming a Coyote Dinner" dinner. Scott: Hey. Kira: Oh, God. Ms Yokumura: So, Scott, I'm sure that as a native Californian, you've eaten at some pretty impressive Japanese sushi restaurants. But I have to tell you that my husband is a superb chef. Mr Yokumura: Okay, we have hamachi, uni, ikura, and hirame. Ms Yokumura: You've never eaten sushi before, have you? Scott: Is it all raw? Mr Yokumura: Not the rice. Kira: Oh, my God, guys. We were supposed to have lasagna tonight. Mr Yokumura: I was trying to impress him. I didn't want to bring out the You know what? I'll make lasagna. Scott: Oh, no, no! It's okay. I can try anything. Really. Okay. Kira: Uh Here. Try holding this one like a pencil. And this one goes under it, like this. Then you just move the top one, - like, like this - Yeah. Scott: Thanks. Ms Yokumura: Sushi? Lydia: What do the different colored strings mean? Stiles: Oh, just different stages of the investigation. So green is solved, yellow is to be determined, blue's just pretty. Lydia: What does red mean? Stiles: Unsolved. Lydia: You only have red on the board. Stiles: Yes, I'm aware. Thank you. Lydia: Did you get detention for pulling the alarm? Stiles: Yep. Every day this week. It's okay, though. We were onto something. Lydia: Even though we couldn't find any proof of Barrow being there? [SCENE_BREAK] Stiles: Hey, Lydia. You've been right every time something like this has happened, okay? So don't start doubting yourself now. Lydia: No scent. No bomb. And I got you in trouble. Stiles: Okay, look. Barrow was there. All right? You knew it. You felt it. Okay? And look, if you wanted to, I'd go back to that school right now and search all night just to prove it. Get up. Get up now. We're going to the school. Isaac: Electrified the windows? Allison: Yep. Isaac: Didn't wanna say anything about it? Allison: Nope. Isaac: Okay. Allison: What are you doing here? Isaac: I figured you could use an extra pair of eyes. Allison: Can you read Latin? Isaac: No. But I can look at pictures. Peter: That's not exactly my color. This is going to be excruciatingly painful. Derek: Just do it. Peter: Oh, I'm going to. I just wanted you to know we all have our petty revenges. Scott: So you guys moved here from New York? Ms Yokumura: I have family ties here. Several generations. Scott: Yukimura is Japanese, right? Ms Yokumura: Mmm-hmm. Mr Yokumura: Yes. Yes, but I'm actually Korean. When my wife and I married, I took her name, as she was the only surviving member of her family. Scott: You didn't want to take both names? Mr Yokumura: We were married in Japan, where the law says that the couple must share the same name. To belong to the same koseki. My wife's lineage is quite unique. I was actually going to discuss it in class. Kira: Please don't. Ms Yokumura: Kira. You should be proud of your heritage. It was a profound honor to join your mother's family. Kira: Scott? What happened to your wasabi? Scott: I thought it was guacamole. Lydia: So what are we looking for? That was supposed to be locked. Stiles: Yeah. I know. Notice anything else? Lydia: It smells like chemicals. They wouldn't have been able to catch his scent. Stiles: He was here, performing very minor surgery on himself. You were right. Lydia: Then why don't I feel good about this? Stiles: Probably because he was here to kill somebody. Lydia: But who? Stiles: That's what we gotta figure out. We could spread out, start looking for Anything. Lydia, what are those? Lydia: Atomic numbers. Stiles: Is it a formula? Lydia: Not really. 19's potassium. The first two make potassium iodide Stiles: Potassium is K? Lydia: From kalium, the scientific neo-Latin name. Stiles: What's radium? Lydia: R-A. Stiles: Kira. Scott: Yes, Mom. I ate sushi. Melissa: I didn't even know that you could use chopsticks. Scott: Mom, can I ask you something? Melissa: Yeah. Scott: Why didn't you How come you never changed your name back to Delgado? Melissa: Do you mean, why did I keep your father's name? Scott: Yeah. Melissa: Yeah. Because it's your name, too, honey. I gotta go, sweetheart, okay? I love you. Scott: Oh, thank God. No offense to sushi. Kira: Yeah, we probably should have started you out on California rolls. Scott: Mmm-hmm. Kira: Mmm. Isaac: You find anything? Allison: There's a reference about flies being able to carry messages to the dead. What about you? Isaac: Oh, just Beelzebub, the Lord of the Flies. Allison: Are you serious? Isaac: What? Allison: You were just trying to kiss me. Isaac: No, I wasn't. Allison: Then what were you trying to do? Head-butt me? Isaac: All right, maybe I was trying to kiss you. Allison: Are you completely, totally out of your mind? You actually think that I would want to kiss you? Or Or any other werewolf again? Because trust me on this, I would never kiss you. Ever. Isaac: Never. Allison: Never. Isaac: Okay. All right, fine. I won't kiss you either. Chris: Allison. Can I see you in my office?... Where I keep my guns. ...Another werewolf? Peter: Did you see her? What did you ask her? Did she say anything about me? Well, that doesn't look good. Scott: Thanks for dinner. Kira: For the sushi or the pizza? Scott: Uh The pizza was good. Kira: You seem like a really nice guy. And not just because you kept me from getting eaten by a coyote. Scott: Did I do something else? Kira: Yeah. You remembered my name. Stiles: Scott! Scott? Scott! Scott: Barrow, he took Kira! Stiles: We know. He was after her the whole time. Isaac: No, nothing. Just stuff about flies and the dead. Nothing else. Scott: All right, thanks. We have to think of something. He's going to kill her. Lydia: I knew he was there. How did I know that? Stiles: Because you heard the flies, right? Scott: What do you hear now? Lydia: Nothing. I feel like I can do this. But I don't know what to do. It's like it's on the tip of my tongue, and I don't know how to trigger it. I just I swear to God, it literally makes me want to scream. Stiles: Okay, then scream. Lydia, scream. Lydia: It's not flies. It's electricity. Stiles: Wait a second, Barrow was an electrical engineer. He worked at a power substation. Scott: What substation? Kira: What are you doing? Barrow: Right now? Ah. Right now, I'm gonna take your picture. Hmm. Just a little proof of our time here together. A little proof for all of those people who never believed. Kira: Okay, you got your picture. You want to let me go now? Barrow: Oh Did you ever see a movie called Village of the Damned? The original. Not the remake. Nobody cares about crappy remakes. I'm talking about the 1960 black-and-white masterpiece. Huh? It's about this group of children. Blonde-haired, beautiful children who can make their eyes glow. And they do terrible, terrible things. The tag line on the poster read, "Beware the stare that will paralyze the will of the world." Now, when I told everyone that I saw children with glowing eyes, they wouldn't believe me. I tried to get them to do something. But they wouldn't budge. They wouldn't move. As if they had been paralyzed. I am going to shake them out of their paralysis. I'm going to get them moving. I'm going to I am going to galvanize them. Stiles: Okay. Wait here, all right? Just wait for the cops to come. Lydia: Me? Wait, why? Stiles: I only got one bat. Kira: Scott! No! Look out! Scott: Don't She's not She's not the one you want. No Don't. Stop! No! Allison: Isaac! Isaac! Chris: Isaac! Isaac, come on, open the door! Allison: Isaac! Chris: Isaac, open up!

William Barrow, an electrical engineer turned mass murderer, escapes during a surgery at the hospital and hides out in the school. He abducts Kira, takes her to a power plant and attempts to electrocute her, but she inexplicably deflects the electricity, killing Barrow and shutting down the power for the entire town. Just after the blackout, five hooded figures attack Isaac.

fd_Angel_02x13

fd_Angel_02x13_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Angel to Darla: "You're never gonna be alone again." Door burst open, Dru walks in. Lindsey: "How did you think this would end?" Dru bites Darla. Lilah: "For God's sake, help us!" Holland: "People are gonna die." Angel, closing the door: "I just can't seem to care." Darla bites Holland. Wesley: "Right now the three of us are all that are standing between you and real darkness." Angel: "You're all fired." Angel throws down his cigarette and flames engulf Darla and Dru. Darla and Dru sit underneath the water spray from the fire hydrant. Darla: "Who was that?" Los Angeles, Hyperion Hotel, night. Angel steps up to the glass doors leading to a balcony and looks out over the lights of the city. Cordy takes down a box of papers from a shelf. Wesley is kneeling on the floor of their new office looking through another stack of papers. The place is a mess. There are papers strewn everywhere. Wesley: "When they went out of business they just left these here?" Cordy: "Yup. Also the desk. We'll share." Wesley: "And when we go out of business we can just leave our stuff for the next guy." Cordy: "Hey, hey, negative energy boy, with all of our money pooled together we can stay here a long time." Wesley: "Hmm. 20 minutes." Cordy: "At least." Wesley: "Angel Investigations without the angel. - You think we can do it?" Cordy: "Well, we better. I mean, what else can we do? And I still have the visions. That'll keep us busy sometimes." Wesley: "We're gonna need a lot more than that. A steady, outside clientele." Cordy: "It'll happen. This is our future, you know? And, personally, I think it is pretty bright. Ow! (Hits her head on a planter hanging from the ceiling) Dead plant! - *Not* symbolizing our future. Really!" Gunn comes in: "Okay, everyone parked within ten blocks has a flyer on their windshield. We just slightly irritated almost a hundred people. (Wrinkles his nose) Does it smell funky in here to you?" Cordy: "It'll air out. And good job with the flyers. Now we can just sit back and let the calls roll in." Gunn trying the phone: "They better roll in through a bull horn. We've got no dial tone." Cordy: "What?" Wesley: "Perhaps it's the wires." Wesley crawls under the desk while Cordy checks the phone. Cordy: "They said it would be on by now!" Gunn: "One desk? We're sharing?" Wesley from under the desk: "Aha! Things are looking up. I think I found the right wire. Ah!" All the lights go out. Gunn: "I'm so glad I met you guys. It's entertaining. Really." Angel lies down in his bed - and wakes up to the sounds of someone singing the star-spangled-banner. He frowns, then gets up. Comes down the stairs into the lobby of the Hyperion, stops on the landing, crossing his arms. The Host sees him and interrupts his song. Host: "Hey, big fella. You're gotta be singing all the time in here, am I right? Come on, with these acoustics? (sings) 'and the rockets red glare!' - Do you hear that resonance?" Angel: "What I hear, and maybe, hopefully, I'm still dreaming, is the star-spangled-banner being belted out by a loud green demon." Host: "We're all brothers under the skin, mi amigo. Although the garden hue and the horns have kept me out of some key public performances. Just once I'd love to ring in a Lakers game with our national anthem. Is that so much to ask?" Angel: "Yes! Is there a reason you're here?" Host: "There is. What's today? Thursday? Tomorrow night - the world's going to end. I thought you might want to know." Intro Angel: "So the world's gonna end." Host: "Brings you right down, doesn't it? - Don't feel the need to offer your guest a frothy cappuccino or a hot cinnamon roll." Angel sitting down in a chair with his arms crossed: "I don't." Host: "Man, you just get darker and darker. And the weird thing is, your aura? Beige." Angel: "I don't have coffee." Host runs a finger across the top of a desk: "Or a duster, buster. I don't know why you fired those three plucky kids. They were good company. Not to mention, Cordelia? Uh! Hot-o-rama! In the 'oh my sizzling loins' sense of the word, if you know what I mean. And the British boy? He's gonna be playing a *huge* - well. " Angel: "Are you gonna get to the world ending or are you just gonna chat until it does?" Host: "All right, all right! Although my buoyant good will falling on your deaf ears is something we'll need to look at in the future. The world ending? Huh, it's kind of a funny story. I'm at the club last night. Fairly typical Wednesday crowd. A Torto demon and his parasite were *murdering* the Everly Brothers..." We see the scene the host is describing. There is a horned demon singing a duet of 'Bye, bye Love' with the head sticking out of his belly for a crowd of assorted demons. At one table sits a young human male, with curly brown hair and glasses. The Host is accepting a drink from the bartender. Host: "...which is nothing compared to what Elian had done to my sea-breeze!" We see the host take a sip and grimace. Host to bartender: "Is this a difficult concept? Were we absent the day they taught sea-breeze in bartender school? Vodka, cranberry, *fresh* grapefruit juice. Which requires a real live grapefruit. One you must cut and squeeze, not pour from a can." Host: "...Oh. The man is *such* a moron. You have no idea how I'm suffering since Ramone left." Angel: "Oh, I have an idea. Can you just get to the point already?" Host: "Yes, I can, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, Mr. Get-to-the-point-y-pants. - So this guy I've never seen before - gets up to sing. Usually I love it. You know, they sing, I read their futures, their auras, I see into their souls..." Angel: "So this guy..." Host: "The thing that was remarkable about him was there was absolutely nothing remarkable about him..." The human gets up and goes up to the mike: "This is a song that I like, because..." Host: "...Just your average Joe about to mangle a tune and bore me with some bland vision of his bland future..." Gene sings 'All By Myself' up on the stage, not outstanding, but not bad either. Host: "...But when he started singing - man, he knocked me out!" Angel: "He was good?" Host laughs: "No, Angel-face, he knocked me *out*." We see the host dropping to the floor in front of the bar. Host: "...When I came to he was gone." Angel: "He didn't wait to hear what you saw on him?" Host: "Nope-ah." Angel: "So what knocked you out?" Host: "I looked into this guy and I saw - he has no future after ten o'clock tomorrow night - and neither does anybody else." Angel gets up from his chair, arms still crossed: "Let's say I do believe you." Host: "Oh, honey, let's say a lot more than that. We've got to find this guy. This is the big blackout we're talking about. This guy is gonna do something between now and tomorrow night. I don't know what, but it's gonna cancel *everybody's* summer plans. We got to find him and stop him." Angel: "Why'd you come to me?" Host: "Isn't it obvious? You're a champion. A unique force for good in a troubled world. - Also, all the other champions I know are currently out of town or - dead. Why? You don't want to work with me? - Is this because I sent you on a couple of missions that turned out to be a little..." Angel: "Pointless and deadly?" Host: "As for example. But I sent you on those missions in good faith. And we interrupt this broadcast to inform you: world ending? Kind of an emergency situation here. You might want to get on board." Angel: "So why did this guy leave the club before you had a chance to tell him what you saw?" Host: "People get scared. They come in for a reading, then they don't wanna know. Especially when the psychic faints and, uh! - a teeny bit of vomit... Lets-lets *not* dwell." Angel: "Maybe he's just a guy who likes to sing Karaoke. Maybe he doesn't know anything about you." Host: "That'd make more sense. - So what we should do is to start with the other local Karaoke bars, see if we can get a lead on him. That is if you're not to busy getting lawyers killed and setting girls on fire. Outside of a college or university campus, day. Gene is standing in front of a dry erase board contemplating some equations written on it. Two students watch him through a glass window from above. Mike: "Someone forgot to wind time-boy." Val: "He's thinking. Something *you* ought to try." Mike: "Very funny. He's really not that much smarter than the rest of us." Val: "I guess that's why *his* work on the time paradox earned Professor Orfalla a Nobel nomination and your work on carpet mold was promptly forgotten by everyone?" Mike: "You know what you are?" Val: "Yes. I do, Mike. And if you say it I'll put your face in liquid nitrogen." Val gets up and knocks on the glass door leading down into Gene's lab. Gene turns around and goes up the steps to open the door for her. Val: "Hey. What's the good word?" Gene: "Entanglement." Val following him down the stairs: "How's that again?" Gene: "In Newton's world space and time are separate entities, in Einstein's their entwined." Val: "Einstein's entwined. Can you say that ten times really fast?" Gene staring at his equations: "So how is it that altering one particle of an entangled pair causes the other particle to be affected - without any communication between the two." Val: "Because space and time are one." Gene: "So how do you separate an entwined pair? You don't. You can't. In fact you probably shouldn't even try." Val: "I never do." Gene: "What you should do is carve out - one (writes another equation on board) instant - at a time." Val: "Look, I like the theory of freezing time as much as the next Star Trek nerd..." Gene: "It's not freezing time, although that is what it would look like to an outside observer. I'm talking about removing one infinitesimal space-time aggregate of from all that surrounds it." Val: "A tiny event horizon." Gene: "Sort of. And then growing that event into something measurable and controllable. Your dog and his favorite bone preserved forever - in his own impenetrable little bubble." Val: "And who's gonna clean up that bubble?" Gene: "If I could just get the math right, I should be able to prove it (walks over to some other equipment) by generating a focal point with the accelerator's beams here and passing liquid mercury - through that point." Val: "Suspending the mercury. Snatching it out of our time-space continuum - and freezing the moment." Gene: "Forever." A red head enters the lab. Val: "Denise. Thank god you're here. Your boyfriend was just coming on to me with the old Einstein-Podolsky-Rosen correlation." Denise smiles: "That's what got me - out of physics and into theater." Gene: "Hi, sweetie." Denise: "Hi." Gene: "How are you?" Denise: "Good. You?" Gene: "Good. So, what's new? (Denise shrugs) - I guess we're on for tomorrow night." Denise: "Uh-huh, we are." Gene: "Big night." Denise: "Yeah. One year anniversary and all." All three stand around for a moment. Denise: "Well, we-we should, ah..." Gene: "Oh, you guys are gonna take off?" Denise: "Yeah." Gene: "Okay. Well, I guess I - I'll see you tomorrow night then." Leans in to give her a quick kiss. Denise: "Don't work all night." Val: "You know he will." The Host and Angel enter a dingy bar. One of the customers is slumped asleep at a table, wrapped around a bottle. A boy is singing 'Greensleeves.' Angel: "Nice." Host: "Hmm, it's not that bad. Nothing a couple bottles of lysol can't cure." They walk over to the bar. Host watching the singer: "Interesting choice. Too bad about the cuisine art tomorrow. You know, if we stop the world from ending tomorrow the scar won't even be that noticeable. (Angel looks at him) Sorry. Occupational hazard." Angel: "Is he here?" Host: "Nope." Angel drops down on a barstool and rubs his forehead. Angel: "Seventeen Karaoke bars. You know, I need to lie down and scrub out the inside of my head." Host: "Well, maybe we're wrong. Sniffing a cold trail." Bartender: "We don't get your kind much." Host: "Excuse me?" Bartender: "Demons. We get a couple now and then but they're usually vampires passing for human." Host: "Well, I never pass on anything, mister, especially when it comes with a little umbrella in the glass." Angel: "You worked here long?" Bartender: "Eleven years now. It used to be a regular bar. But then they put in one of these Karaoke machines. Thought it would bring in the customers. It drove most of them away. We got a few steadies that make up for it." Angel: "Steadies?" Bartender: "A lot of students. They're grad students." Host: "Fits the descrip." Angel: "We're looking for a guy, early twenties, medium build, maybe one of your steadies, sings sad songs like 'All By Myself.'" Bartender: "Sounds like the kid." Angel: "Name?" Bartender: "I don't know his name but he comes in every few weeks. Runs with the whole broken heart songbook. First time I thought somebody died. But after a couple of weeks I figured he was just one of those manic depressants." Host: "Hey, Goliath, you got a good picture of this grad student in your head? (Bartender shrugs) Well, how about singing a few bars of 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow', hmm?" Bartender looks over at Angel. Angel: "Oh, you know, he's a demon. You better do what he says or he might - talk your ears off." Bartender: "For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow..." Host: "Yeah, it's him. It's our boy. Fabulous tone by the way, really nice vibrato. And you keep plugging away on that novel, F. Scott. Art is its own reward. (Aside to Angel) Got to give the people hope. (To bartender) Now this grad student, which university would that be?" Cut to the university at night. We scan past his desk and a picture of Gene and Denise together to find Gene still working on his equations. Gene: "Nine to the eleventh where 'P' is invariant. X, y and z are zero and time is orthogonal to the other three axis. Given 'A' and 'A' slash zero - equals momentum and mass energy... (goes over to enter some stuff on his laptop) and the conservation of p-x, p-y... and p-z - here goes nothing." He watches as his machine forms a field where the four emitted beams intersect. Watches the mercury droplet fall - through the field. Turns the machine off. Gene: "There went nothing. (Throws something small at the dry erase board) This is never gonna work." Walks up the steps and out of his lab. A gray skinned, pointy-eared, raccoon-eyed demon comes out from behind some barrels and speaks in some foreign language. Demon (subtitles): "He's the one. He doesn't know it yet, but he's the one. (Walks over to the dry erase board) From nothingness the human pestilence came, into nothingness it goes." The demon causes the crystal on top of his staff to glow red. The red glow shines on a part of Gene's equation and changes it. Break Cordy is setting out armfuls of candles in their dark office. Cordy: "There. See? We'll work without the harsh glare of flourescents, or all that distracting computer information." Gunn and Wesley are sitting next to each other behind the desk, not moving. Gunn: "Cordelia - stop trying." Cordy: "Really?" Wesley: "Join us." Cordy sits down beside Gunn with a sigh. Wesley: "Sometimes you need to wallow. Just let the depression settle in - silently." The door opens and Virginia walks in carrying a gift basket and a bottle of champagne. Virginia: "Hey! Wow. This place is great. I brought champagne. You guys must be so excited (takes in their looks) in that really dry, suicidal way." Wesley gets up and greets her with a quick kiss. Wesley: "Sorry, sweetheart. You just caught us in a moment of... Well..." Cordy taking the bottle of champagne from Virginia: "Reality." Virginia: "Oh - that. I avoid that." Gunn: "How do you avoid reality?" Virginia: "Money. It cures everything but boredom (holds up the basket) and food cures boredom, so there you go. Imported chips and packets of cheese." Gunn: "Thanks." Wesley: "We'll enjoy them huddled around our pathetic candles." Cordy: "We'll make pathetic nachos." Cordy pops the cork and takes a sip from the bottle. Virginia: "You guys are really down." Gunn: "Yeah. And don't try to tell us there is no way to go but up, because the truth is - there is always more down." Virginia: "Oh! And that was very well said by the way. But I found a case for you. A client. A rich one." Wesley: "Really?" Cordy: "And this isn't the first thing you say when you come in the room?" Virginia: "Well, I got distracted by your waves of desperation. But it's true. My friend Patricia, her family, they've got like this big guy that's been harassing them, hanging around the house getting scary, and they'd be really grateful if someone got rid of him." Gunn: "That sounds easy." Cordy: "Uh, wait. By 'big guy' do you mean demon?" Virginia: "Yeah. And by 'house' I mean palatial estate, and by 'grateful' I mean they'll give you big tubs of cash. Really rich family. They invented, uhm, I don't know, like - chairs, or something." Cordy: "We'll do it! We'll do anything." Virginia: "Oh, that's so sad. Anyway, he's a Wainakay demon, and he got the eldest son already." Cordy: "So there's been a death? (Virginia nods) You just let these facts kind of dribble out, don't you?" Virginia: "I'll call Patty and tell her you'll take the job." Wesley: "Uh, sweetie, no phone." Cordy: "Also no lights." Gunn: "And there's a funky smell." The three of them start to leave the office. Virginia: "I wasn't gonna say anything." The university, day. Gene enters his lab, sees the equation on the board. Gene: "Nine to the seventeenth. Where C squared and E squared are obtained by differentiating them... four velocity! Four velocity termination?" Quickly takes off his jacket and enters the changes in his laptop. Turns to watch as the mercury drops into the field and - remains suspended within it. Gene: "I did it. - Oh, this is a yee-ha moment. I - I definitely think this is a yee-ha moment!" Runs out of the lab. Gene: "Yee-ha-ha!" Gene runs across the campus past the Reynolds Library. Angel and the host enter the library through a door with a 'basement access' sign on it. Angel: "Where did you learn how to drive?" Host: "Just now in your car. Not bad for a beginner, huh?" Angel: "What? You nearly got us killed - four times." Host: "Someone had to drive. You weren't exactly qualified, huddled under a blanket in back, hiding from the sun. (Turns to face the shelves as a student passes them) I better stick to the shadows and think of something to say should we happen upon a comely co-ed." Angel: "Tell her you're the new school mascot. Wait here." The host pulls out a book and opens it to hide most of his face behind it as he watches Angel walk up to the information desk. A girl walks by, glancing at the host and he quickly raises the book to duck behind it completely. Comes back up to see the guy behind the desk handing Angel a stack of books. Angel hands half the stack to the host. Angel: "Student yearbook/faculty publications going back past five years. Lets see if we can't find your little madman bent on destroying the universe." Host: "I like to think of him as *our* little madman. That's just me, team player, you know?" As the host puts the book back on the shelf and turns to follow Angel, we see one of the raccoon-eyed demons standing on the other side of the stack. Denise and the girl from the physics lab are sitting outside on a bench. Val: "You alright girl?" Denise: "Huh? - Yeah. Fine. I'm good. You know, I'm - not - perfect. Oh, god." Val: "Come on, spit it out. You're among friends." The camera pans past the banister behind the bench they're sitting on to show Gene coming up the steps behind them. Gene hears Denise voice and slows to a stop. Denise: "This has to stay among friends. You can't repeat this to anybody." Val: "I won't." Denise: "I just - I just don't think that it's gonna work out with me and Gene." Gene freezes behind them on the steps. Val: "Oh. And tonight is your guy's one year anniversary!" Denise: "You think I don't know that?" Gene just kind of sags. Val: "Oh, honey." Denise: "I mean, Gene's a wonderful guy." Val: "Yeah?" Denise: "But he's just sort of - hollow, or something. When I'm with him I feel - I feel lonely." Val: "Maybe that's because *he* is. You know I love him, but he *is* an energy sucker." Denise: "I have to break up with him." Val: "Uh. Not to be a massive bitch or anything, but couldn't you figure that out *before* the big anniversary do?" Denise: "He's got the whole thing planned. He's making me dinner at his place." Val: "What are you gonna do? (Denise just looks down) Oh, my god. You're gonna give him the sympathy bone, aren't you? It's gonna be dinner, sympathy bone, and adios Gene. I'm totally right, aren't I?" Denise: "Well, we've been together for a year. I can't just - walk out on him! It just wouldn't be right. Not after all we've..." Val: "No, you're right. The post-sympathy-bone-walk-out is you're only escape hatch now." Denise: "It was really sweet there for a while. Really sweet. But it's just - it's just not the kind of love that lasts." Gene turns around and walks back down the steps. The host and Angel are looking through the yearbooks at a table at the library. Angel: "This him?" Host: "It is not." Angel drops his book and picks up another one. Host: "Oh, got him. - He's a physicist - and a pretty good one according to this." Angel grabs the book from him: "I'll find out where the lab is." Angel shows the picture in the book to the guy behind the information desk. Angel: "Hi. I'm just trying to get a hold of - Gene Rainy? He's a grad student in physics." Guy: "Oh, yeah. He's our own Stephen Hawking. Ah, what do you want with him?" Angel closes the book and shakes the guys hand. Angel: "I'm sorry. Leonard Taubman from the Taubman Foundation. We just freed up some new grant money. I was hoping to earmark it for Gene." Guy: "Wish I was a genius. He's got his own lab in the physics department. (Picks up a campus map) Uh, it's about a quarter of a mile from here. You just stay on this path, go past Kelton hall... (sees something behind Angel) What is that?" Angel without turning around: "Don't worry. School mascot." Angel drops onto the desk as one of the raccoon-eyed demons buries a strangely shaped ax in his back then turns to where the host is sitting. Gene enters his lab and looks at a photo of him and Denise together, smiling. Turns to look at the dorps of mercury hanging suspended in the air inside the field. Gene: "So I'll give her the kind of love that lasts." Break [SCENE_BREAK] The raccoon-eyed Lubber demon is trying to free his ax from the back of a computer monitor. The host stands and watches as it and Angel fight. The host says something in demon, then picks up a book and throws it. The Lubber demon leans to the side and the book hits Angel, knocking him back onto the stairs. Host: "Sorry." Angel ducks another hit with the ax then kicks the Lubber over the railing of the stairs. The lubber picks up a chair, says something to Angel in demon, then throws the chair at him. Angel bats the chair aside and watches the demon run off. Angel to host: "What did you say to it?" Host: "I said we come in peace. I don't think he believed me." Angel: "And what did he say to me?" Host: "He said 'you shall not stop the golden child, the one for whom we have waited.' Lubber demons, they have a way with words." Angel: "What's a Lubber demon?" Host: "Fanatical sect, awaiting a messiah who will usher in the end of all human life. A lot of your demons don't yak about it in mixed company, but it is a pretty popular theology in the underworld." Angel: "So this mad scientist has these demons worshipping and protecting him while he blows up the planet... or what? - What's he gonna do?" Host: "Lets get to his lab pronto and find out. It's pretty clear we're dealing with a criminal mastermind." Gene is singing 'All By Myself' while setting up his equipment in the basement of his apartment complex. Angel and the host are entering Gene's lab where Mike is examining what is left from Gene's setup. Angel: "Hey, we're looking for Gene Rainy?" Mike: "So am I. Somebody took his equipment?" Angel: "What equipment?" Mike: "Particle accelerators, propulsion batteries... (sees the host) What's that?" Angel: "Don't worry. It's just the new school mascot." Mike: "For the Buccaneers?" Host: "Not your school, silly." Angel: "Do you know what Gene Rainy was working on?" Mike: "Ah. Time paradox. Accelerate specific particles out of our continuum into their own excised universe." Angel: "Come again?" Host: "Stopping time." Mike: "Which is impossible by the way. No one can do the math. Does anybody listen to me? No. He gets the grants I get carpet mold." We see Gene continuing to set up his equipment, setting up the mirror panels around his bed and putting the switch onto the night stand. Angel (voice over): "Alright. Lets say he could do it. Lets say he could stop time. How would it work?" Mike (voice over): "Well, you know, according to his speculations you focus the accelerators on a specific point, and if you can generate the correct velocity, whatever is in that field would just be removed." Angel (voice over): "Removed." Mike (voice over): "From our reality." Gene is straightening his bedspread and sets a red rose down on it. Host (v.o.): "What happens to it?" Mike (v.o.): "Nothing. In the absolute sense of that word. Whatever is in the field would stand still forever in its own private universe." Host: "Say, someone, just for fun, were to crank this into overdrive." Mike: "If the field were improperly contained it would spill out. Keep growing, stop everything (the host and Angel look at each other) - kind of wiggy, huh?" Angel: "Who has the keys to this place?" Mike: "Only Gene. Even the maintenance guys can only come in when he's here." Host: "No forced entry." Mike: "Why would Gene take his own equipment?" Angel: "The question is *where* would Gene take his own equipment." Gene is lighting the candles on the table set for a romantic dinner. Angel and the host are driving down the street in Angel's convertible. Host: "So there is another gear after that number two thingy? (Angel gives him a look) Oh, relax. I'll pay for a tune-up. Unless the world ends, then I'm off the hook." Angel: "Well, if it saves you some money, then I guess it's a good thing." Host: "Oh, this whole sour pussy mode of yours, it's starting to grate. You know what your problem is? - Are you listening?" Angel: "Do I have a choice?" Host: "Your heart isn't in it anymore." Angel: "I don't have a pulse so technically I don't have a heart." Host: "Technically, someone puts a stake through it you don't have anything anymore. So, Bubba, your heart counts." Angel: "I have no idea what you're babbling about." Host: "Yes, you do. If the world were to end tonight, would it really, in your heart of hearts, be such a terrible thing? (Angel doesn't answer) Now- now, sweetie, is that a fun place to be?" Angel: "I think you should shut up now." Host: " I'm the host. Have you met me? I never shut up. You pushed your friends away. You went from helping the helpless to hunting down the guilty. Blood vengeance is a luxury of the lesser beings. You're a champion, Angel. I mean - you were, at least." Angel: "What do you want me to tell you?" Host: "Everything. What's in your heart, why you stopped caring. You know, the whole ball of wax, so I can help you get back on your path. No need to rush, we got time. You know - not a *lot*." Gene is setting a bowl of salad and a little wrapped jewelry box on the table, then checks his watch. He host is singing to himself while Angel looks over at him from time to time. Host: "La la la li, du du dum..." Angel: "You want to know what my problem is? I'm screwed. That's my problem. I can't win. I'm trying to atone for a hundred years of unthinkable evil. News flash! I never can! Never going to be enough. Now I got Wolfram and Hart dogging me, it's too much! Two hundred highly intelligent law-school graduates working fulltime driving me crazy. Why the hell is everyone so surprised that it's working? But no, it's 'Angel, why you're so cranky?' 'Angel, you should lighten up. You should smile. You should wear a nice plaid.'" Host: "Oh. Not this season, honey." Angel: "Redemption. Darla had a shot at redemption. They took it from her. Now I have to hunt her down and kill her. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna kill her, and then I'm gonna burn that law firm to the ground. My crew - they couldn't handle that. That's good. It means that they're still human. It means their better off fired." Host: "You kind of left them in the cold." Angel: "It's a lot colder in here." Host: "It's not always gonna be this way. The song changes. Unless, of course, we don't get there on time, in which case - you'll be frozen in this *crappy* mood forever. I shudder to think." Angel looks over at the host: "We'll get there." Host: "Look out!" Angel looks back around to see a figure standing in the middle of the road. The car hits it and sends it flying over the car as Angel hits the brakes, bring the car to a stop. Angel and the host get out to check on who they just hit, but when they turn the body over it turns out to have been a Lubber demon. Angel and the host straighten up to see more Lubber demons converge on them from all sides, carrying more of their strangely shaped axes. There is a knock on Gene's door. He checks his hair in the mirror real quick then opens it to let Denise in. Gene: "Hi." Denise: "Hi." Gene: "You look, uh... - Well, happy anniversary." Break Gunn pulls his ax out of the back of a horned demon lying on the floor in Patty's house. Patty's dad pats him on the back: "Good job, man. We're very grateful." Wesley is examining one of the demon's legs. Wesley: "Oh, yes. We found the killer (lets the leg drop) just not the murderer." As Wesley gets up we can see the whole family sitting in on a couch and chairs in the background. Aunt: "What's he talking about?" Wesley: "This demon was a puppet. Acting under the control of someone else. Someone in this room." Cordy eyes a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Cordy: "Are these for everyone?" Wesley: "What do we know? We know that when we arrived yesterday there was a noticeable scent of foxglove and hellebore. (Cordy is eating the hors d'oeuvres) Not to keep this demon out, as one might suspect, but rather to keep him *in* so he could carry out the murderer's clever plan. (Wesley turns to look at the father) Such a plan would require the skills of a master wizard." Dad: "I don't do that stuff anymore." Wesley: "Then we have the footprints in the soft soil under the widow outside the solarium - far too small and not webbed to belong to this demon." Aunt: "But Kevin told you, those were his." Dad: "He snuck in late last night." Wesley: "Loudly, so we all could hear. Supposedly from seeing that shop girl in town. But we all know that Kevin is impotent, so why put on the show? (Everyone turns to look at Kevin) Perhaps to cover for the real killer - unless Kevin in fact *is* the real killer. With Derek gone, the family inheritance falls to you, the younger brother and black sheep of the family. - Unfortunately you had neither the opportunity nor the intelligence to perpetrate this crime. - Sorry about the impotent remark. - So if Kevin was to have control of the money, who would have control of Kevin?" Cordy pointing at the empty tray: "Are there any more of these little..." Wesley clears his throat. Cordy: "Sorry." Wesley: "His sister? His mother? - Both powerful forces in his life, both with their own agendas. But only one person knew the secret that would allow them to blackmail Kevin for the rest of his life. Only one person took pains to hide their muddy shoes. Only one person reeked of foxglove and hellebore. Only one person was responsible for the death of Derek Bointon - his own sweet, doting Aunt Helen!" All the Bointons gasp. Dad: "Helen!" Aunt Helen jumps up from her chair and runs for the door only to have Cordy block her way. Cordy: "Not so fast, sister." Gunn to Wesley: "*That* was cool." Wesley: "It wasn't that difficult. You just - have to keep sifting the evidence until the truth finally hits you." Angel is fighting the Lubber demons fast and furious, while the host stands on the sidelines, watching as if it was a boxing match. Two of the Lubbers decide to go for the host. The host lets out a loud high note, causing them to drop their axes and cover their ears in pain as we hear some glass shatter, then kicks one between the legs and hits the other across the chin, dropping them both, before going back to watching Angel. Gene and Denise sit at the dinner table. Gene: "So how was scene class?" Denise: "Well, you know - Jack - thinks he can't play it without a goatee." Gene: "The footstool would have a goatee?" Denise: "Well, you know Jack. (She lifts the necklace hanging around her neck) Thank you for the, ah... It's really pretty." Gene: "It made me think of you. (Denise looks down at the food on her plate) - Are you all done?" Denise: "Yeah. I'm not that hungry. - It was good. It was really good." Angel knocks down another Lubber demon. Host: "Hurry!" Angel runs over to his car and jumps back in the driver's seat. Denise picks up the rose on Gene bed and smells it. Denise: "That's sweet." Gene: "I'm sorry about the clutter." Denise with a smile: "It wouldn't be you without it." She slowly takes off her blouse and lets her hair down. Angel's car is speeding down the road. Gene and Denise are in bed under the sheets, kissing. Gene: "I love you." Angel's car pulls up in front of Gene's building, and he and the host get out. Angel: "Okay. If I had a machine to stop time, where would I put it?" Host: "Probably were the demons can guard it." The host points at a Lubber demon. Gene is on top of Denise in bed. He reaches over to the nightstand and flicks the switch that turns on the machine down in the basement. A beam shoots straight up from it, bounces off a mirror in Gene's bedroom to another one. The time field begins to form above the bed and to slowly spread to cover first Gene then Denise, who freeze in place. Down in the basement a Lubber demon is entering new control functions on Gene's laptop. The machine revs up and the field starts to grow. The Lubber demon nods to himself, then turns as another of its kind comes crashing down through the window, followed by Angel. The field is growing down from the top apartment. It engulfs and freezes a guy sitting down pouring himself a beer. Angel is fighting the two Lubbers in the basement. Knocks one of them down, then smashes its head in the open door of a dryer sitting there knocking it out. The other Lubber hits Angel from behind, then hits him hard enough to send Angel flying to the top of the basement stairs. The Lubber charges up the stairs after him. Angel rolls onto his back and uses his feet to catapult the Lubber into the wall, then jumps down to the basement floor. The Lubber launches himself into the air to stop Angel before he can reach the machinery, but the time bubble spreading down through the ceiling freezes it in mid air. Ducking low, Angel scrambles over to the machine and pulls out some wires. The bubble shrinks and the Lubber lands on the hard ground instead of on Angel. Angel picks up its dropped ax and buries it in its back. The bubble continues to shrink, unfreezing the guy pouring his beer, unfreezing Denise and Gene and vanishes. Angel, breathing hard, looks around the basement. Denise is sitting on the edge of the bed with the sheet wrapped around her, her back to Gene, lying back on the bed, covered by a blanket. Denise: "Gene, we have to talk." Gene: "I can't believe this." Gene is sitting at his table with Angel and the Host, fully dressed. Gene: "Listen, I am - really, really sorry. I had no idea I was putting the whole world in jeopardy or - or there were all these demons. - Although the idea of aliens among us is consistent with Murdoch's multi-verse. I just - I just didn't want her to leave." The host looks at Angel and motions with his head towards Gene. Angel glances back and forth between the host and Gene, then takes a deep breath. Angel: "Well, you know - love (lets out his breath) it's a fire." Gene: "You been there." Angel: "It burns you. - Alive. (Gene frowns at him) Down to the bone. And then it turns the bone to ash..." Host: "I-I think what my chipper friend is trying to say here, Gene, is the wheel keeps turning. You can't stop it. Sometimes things get worse, sometimes they get better." Gene: "I want the wheel to stop - which probably explains the whole time in a box disaster. I can't emphasize enough how sorry I am about that." Host: "It just don't work, Gene-y. It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time (laughs) actually I can hold a note forever. But eventually that's just noise. It's the change we're listening for. The note coming after, and the one after that. That's what makes it music." Gene: "I guess. - - You guys like beer?" Angel: "Beer sounds great." Gene gets up: "I'm glad you guys, ah..." Leaves the room. Host to Angel: "You're connecting to a human. That's a start. Although I'd go easy on the bone and ash metaphors for a while." Angel: "Well, the guy is a disaster at love, and nearly destroyed the world. I can relate. - Yeah, I guess I did kind of leave 'em in the cold." Host: "What, your buddies? By firing them?" Angel: "Yeah. - Yeah, I guess I made it pretty hard for 'em." Cut to Cordy, Wes and Gunn dancing. There is music playing and their candlelit office is filled with people. The camera changes to give us a look in through the window in the door from outside. Cordy looks towards the window and stops dancing, pats Wes on the shoulder and walks towards the door. A human, middle aged male is walking in through it. Cordy: "Hi." Wesley: "How are you?" Man: "Uhm..." Gunn: "You alright?" Man: "I just - I need help. Is this Angel Investigations?" Wesley: "Uh, yeah, you're in the right place. Ah. Sorry about the confusion." Cordy: "We're just having a little celebration. A new beginning kind of thing." Man: "Oh, well, maybe I should..." Wesley: "No!" Gunn: "No, no. You need help, you're in the right place. We can talk in back. Come on in." Man: "Which one of you is Angel?" The three of them exchange a glance. Wesley: "It's just a name." FADE TO BLACK

Gene is a brilliant physicist, smitten with love, who is on the verge on discovering a method of manipulating the time and space relationship. One night at karaoke, Lorne discovers that Gene has no future past the next day as well as the rest of the world. Lorne and Angel set out to prevent Gene from freezing time around the world to preserve his fractured relationship. Meanwhile, Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn establish their own private investigation firm and stumble upon an intricate case involving a wealthy family and a demon.

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[ The apartment ] Sheldon: What color would you like to be? Leonard: Well, I'd like to be green, but you know you always take it. Sheldon: That's not true. Any color's fine with me. Yeah, I could be a-a combination of blue and yellow. Leonard: Blue and yellow make green. Sheldon: Well, then it's settled. Penny: Hi. Ready to go? Sheldon: Oh, good news, we ordered lunch, so we can all stay here and play Lord of the Rings Risk. Amy: Sheldon, we said that we would play games with you tonight. Sheldon: Oh, no, we'll still be playing it tonight, this game can easily take eight hours. Penny: Sweetie, you really thought I'd want to do this? Leonard: No. Penny: Well, did you tell him that? Leonard: Yes. Penny: Did you say it out loud with words? Leonard: No. Penny: I don't want to spend the whole day playing a board game. Sheldon: Yeah, well, you may change your mind when you hear that this is the new expanded edition which contains a more complete map of Middle Earth, now including the Haradwaith Territories. Amy: I will literally race you to the car. Leonard: No, no, no, come on, don't leave. Just try it. Penny: No. We're always doing what you guys want. Just once, it'd be nice if you did something we wanted. Sheldon: You want to be green? Leonard: You know, they really have tried to like a lot of the same stuff we're into. Penny: Yeah, we do game nights and video game nights and we watch movies with director's commentary. Amy: Oh, my favorite, George Lucas can talk all the way through Star Wars, I say one word and I'm banished to the kitchen. Penny: Yeah, today Amy and I are deciding what we're all gonna do. Leonard: You got it, you girls are in charge. Penny: Thank you. Amy: Sheldon? Sheldon: Fine. Now that we're not playing, you can be green. Leonard: Thank you. Sheldon: And since you're green this time, I can be it next time. Penny: All right, let's see. What's something fun the guys would never take us to do? Oh, I know, we could go horseback riding. Amy: I actually can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump, just popped right off. Penny: All right, well, what do you want to do? Amy: There's a craft and folk art museum on Wilshire. Penny: Well, that's Wilshire's problem. Come on, you know, there, there's got to be something fun we could do that the guys will hate. Leonard: Hang on, why do we have to hate it? Penny: Three words, Doctor Who convention. Leonard: I did not force you to go to that. Penny: You walked out of the house in a fez and bow tie. I went so you didn't get beat up. Leonard: I wasn't gonna get beat up. Penny: You were, but somehow I held myself back. Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice-skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma and it plays right into my well-known fear of getting flattened by a Zamboni. Leonard: Now you're helping them find ways to make us miserable? Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry, Leonard, I'm a problem-solver, it's what I do. Amy: I actually can't go ice-skating. I have unnaturally brittle ankles. Penny: Is there any part of your body that's normal? (chuckles) [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ We built the Wall ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] We built the pyramids [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] Bang! [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ] Raj: Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Howard: Will you please relax? Raj: I can't take it, dude. Bernadette: You okay? Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm gonna jump out of my skin. Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there. It's itchy when it grows back. Raj: I'm worried about the New Horizons space probe. Bernadette: What's he talking about? Howard: Nine years ago he was part of a team that launched a spacecraft to collect data about Pluto, and it's finally close enough, so this morning it turned itself on. Raj: We hope. The signal has to travel over three billion miles. So it's gonna be hours before we know if it even survived. Howard: Now we get to see him flip out because he's worried it was demolished by space ice. Raj: Space ice is no joke. I can't even watch Frozen anymore. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Amy: Ooh, the philharmonic is playing Beethoven downtown. Sheldon: Before you say yes, it's not the movie about the big dog. Penny: How come we can't think of something we both want to do? Amy: Because you always pick what we do and I just go along with it. Leonard: Ah, interesting, we're being accused of making you do things you don't like, and here you are, doing the same thing to poor Amy. Sheldon: You should point out the hypocrisy of that. Leonard: That's what I was doing. Sheldon: Oh, that wasn't clear. Try it again, but this time drive it home with how do you like them apples, Missy? Penny: All right, keep thinking. Sheldon: You're making it too complicated. Why not stick to the basics? Go shopping for clothes while Leonard and I sit in those uncomfortable chairs and hold your purses, hmm? I know I'd hate that. Leonard? Leonard: Well, yeah. Sheldon: Well, then, it's settled? Amy: What do you say? Sounds kind of perfect. Penny: It does, somehow he managed to take all the fun out of it. Sheldon: Well, once again, it's what I do. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ] Raj: Oh, another two hours to go. The wait is killing me. Howard: I know. I get it. When I was in the Soyuz capsule returning from the space station, plummeting toward Earth at 17,000 miles per hour... Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience and waiting or just another reminder that you went to space? Howard: A story can do two things. Raj: Ugh, I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack. Howard: You work in pharmaceuticals, don't you have anything you can give him? Bernadette: All I have is our new urine flow drug. Won't help with his anxiety, but it's so strong, when he pees he'll fly around the room like he's got a jet pack. Raj: I can't stop thinking about it. Bernadette: You know, worrying won't have any effect on what happens. Raj: I know. Howard: Maybe you need to do something more productive. Raj: Okay. If I make this shot in the trash can, the probe will have arrived in perfect working order. Howard: So, in addition to being crazy, you're resting the fate of the mission on your athletic prowess. Raj: Yes. Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike. Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up-tempo, I got light-headed and I fell off. Okay. It all comes down to this. Howard: You happy? Now you can relax. Raj: What kind of scientist are you? Everyone knows you got to make two out of three. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Clothes shop ] Leonard: This isn't so bad. Sheldon: That's easy for you to say. Your chair's not facing the lingerie section. Boy, that's a lot of panties. Amy: You guys comfy? This might take a while. Sheldon: I don't understand why women insist on making a big production out of buying clothes. Penny: No, you're right, we should do what you do. Have our mom send us pants from the Walmart in Houston. Sheldon: They have a man there who understands my personal style. Penny: Bye. Leonard: Uh, I've got some bad news. There's no cell service in here. Sheldon: Oh. Well, that's all right. There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smart phones were invented. Leonard: That's true. Sheldon: I'll look them up. Son of a biscuit. Leonard: Sheldon, it's fine. Sheldon: No, it's not fine. What kind of store in the 21st century doesn't at least have Wi-Fi? I'm going to call their corporate office. Son of a biscuit. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Clothes shop - later ] Sheldon: Let's see, my armies are going to attack the Shire from Buckland. And I roll a five and a three. Leonard: Okay. And to defend, I roll two sixes. I win. Sheldon: Boy, double-sixes again. You know, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. I wonder how long we're gonna be stuck here. Leonard: I don't know, but the girls do a lot for us. It's the least we can do. Sheldon: Oh, that's true. I suppose it's only fair we make compromises. Leonard: Look at you, being all mature. Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. If there's one thing I know about after living with you for so many years, it's how to compromise. Leonard: I, I'm sorry? You make compromises for me? Sheldon: All the time. Leonard: On Earth? In our lives? That, that, that we're living? Sheldon: Oh, yes. I, just yesterday, you had a, a big piece of lettuce stuck in your teeth at lunch. Did I say anything? No. I compromised and kept my mouth shut. Like you should've, because everyone was laughing at you. Leonard: That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how. Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me. Leonard: What? Then. then why don't you do it? Sheldon: Uh, well, it's scary. And sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But, more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can't take that away from you, so what do I do? Oh, come on, I'm practically feeding you the answer. I compromise. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Raj's car ] Raj: Hey, uh, thanks for keeping me company. Howard: I'm happy to. I think getting out of the apartment will do you good. So, where we headed? Raj: If it's okay with you, I'd like to go to temple. Howard: Buddy, trust me, you don't want to convert to Judaism. I mean, I know I make it look cool, but it's not all briskets and dreidels. Raj: I meant a Hindu temple. Howard: Oh. Okay. It's not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn't gonna rip my heart out. Raj: Dude, that movie's an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of bloodthirsty barbarians. Howard: You love that movie. Raj: Yeah, it's pretty great. Howard: I'm surprised to see you suddenly get religious. Raj: Why? Howard: Well, because I've known you for ten years and you've never gone to temple, you never talked about believing in God, and last Diwali I watched you eat two pounds of sacred cow at a Brazilian steak house. Raj: Religion is a very personal thing. I do go to temple, I just, I don't talk about it. Howard: Yeah, but you're a scientist. Raj: So? Howard: So, as a scientist, you believe the way to understand the universe is through facts and evidence, and now you're counting on some blue chick with a hundred arms to help you? Raj: That is so offensive. Does everything you know about Hinduism come from Indiana Jones? Howard: No. There's also Apu from The Simpsons. Raj: Well, lots of scientists believe in God. Okay? Newton, uh, Faraday, uh, Pascal, all were believers. Even Einstein was famous for attacking quantum theory on the grounds that God does not play dice with the universe. Howard: Well, of course he believed in God. he slept with Marilyn Monroe. Raj: Actually there's no proof of that. Howard: You believe in your religion, I'll believe in mine. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Store changing rooms ] Amy: How's it going in there? Penny: Uh, not really a great outfit for work, unless something opens up in the hookers and whores division. Hey, can I ask you something? Amy: Sure. Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to? Amy: Yeah, but it's okay. Penny: How is it okay? Amy: I promised myself, if I ever got friends, I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did. Penny: Well, you know, that was a long time ago. You're a different woman now. You're smart, you've got great friends, you've got a boyfriend, you're pretty, you have zero fashion sense, but, anyway, tonight we're gonna do whatever you want. Amy: Really? Penny: Absolutely. You name it, we're doing it. Amy: Basket weaving at the craft museum. Penny: Well, you named it. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The store ] Sheldon: Oh, here's another one. I wish that the apple pancake mix was on the top shelf because it starts with an A, but I don't put it there because I don't want you breaking one of your little legs when you're supposed to be making my breakfast. Leonard: Is it my turn to talk about the compromises I make? Sheldon: I wasn't done, but go ahead. He said, compromising. Leonard: Because of you, I'm not allowed to adjust the temperature in my own home. I'm not allowed to whistle. I don't wear shoes that might squeak. Sheldon: Well, you're a physicist, not a circus clown. Leonard: Sheldon, do you realize I don't live with the woman I love because of you? No other reason. Just you. Sheldon: Is that true? Leonard: Yes, it's true. The last time I brought it up, you had an emotional breakdown and got on a train and ran away. Sheldon: Well, given my history on the subject, t seems a little reckless to bring it up now. Leonard: You have no idea how much you inconvenience the lives of everyone around you. It's exhausting. Sheldon: You know what? You think you're so tolerant, but the truth is you're mean to me a lot. Yeah, you think that I don't notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. Hmm? I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears. Leonard: Sheldon, I, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I've been holding a lot of this in for a while. Sheldon: Well, I'm sorry, too. And if you want to live with Penny, then I think you should. Leonard: Do you mean that? Sheldon: Yes. Yeah, just put on your squeaky shoes and eee-eee-eee your way out of my life. Leonard: Come on, don't get upset. Sheldon: I'm not upset. I'm just imagining a world without my best friend in it. Leonard: Sheldon. Sheldon: It's okay. Leonard: I'm not leaving your world. I'm just talking about living across the hall. Sheldon: I understand. Either way, I want you to know that I'm aware of how difficult I can be. So I just want to say thank you for putting up with me. Leonard: Buddy. Penny: How are you guys getting along? What? Why are there tears? Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements. Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk. Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him. Penny: Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard's not gonna move out until you're ready. Sheldon: Well, what if you did it gradually? Leonard: All right. How about we start with two nights a week I live with Penny? Sheldon: How about one night and I let you whistle? Leonard: Okay. Sheldon: When I'm not home. Leonard: You got it. Sheldon: There we go, compromising again. We really are the best. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Temple car park ] Howard: Here we go, my first Hindu temple. Raj: You see behind the fountain, that tower that looks like a pyramid? It's called a Sikhara. It symbolizes the, the connection between the human and the divine. Howard: Huh. I always thought it was mini golf. Raj: All right. Shall we? Howard: Yeah. Just, uh, is there anything I should know before I go in? Raj: Like what? Howard: Like am I dressed okay? Raj: Really? So every other place you've been, you thought this was fine? Howard: I know you're under a lot of pressure, so I'm gonna let that pass. Raj: Sorry. You're right. I'm so stressed. But you know what, whenever I walk into that temple I realize that whatever happens, it's okay. We're all part of an immense pattern, and though we can't understand it, we can be happy to know that it's, it's working its will through us. Howard: That's nice. Raj: Whether you call it God or the universe or the self, we're all interconnected, and that's just a beautiful... Son of a bitch, that guy just dinged my car. S, seriously? You were just gonna drive away? Like my life isn't hard enough right now. A space probe might be destroyed, my parents are going through an awful divorce, the guy who cuts my dog's hair just gave her bangs. Howard: Raj. Raj: You saw her. She looks like Jim Carrey from Dumb and Dumber. Howard: Raj, you just got a text. The probe turned on. It's fine. Raj: Oh, good. Namaste, Grandpa. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Craft museum ] Leonard: I thought this was gonna be boring, but it's actually kind of fun. Penny: Don't tell Amy that. We'll be here every Sunday. Amy: Sheldon, that really is an excellent basket. Sheldon: It's not a basket. It's a soldier's helmet from 16th century China. Amy: Very nice. Leonard: Yeah, it looks great. Sheldon: I saw that. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's bedroom ] Leonard: Well, roomie, it's only one night a week, but it's a start. Penny: I know. I'm really proud of Sheldon. Leonard: Yeah, I'm proud of him, too. Sheldon (in Penny's living room): Can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to sleep out here.

Sheldon and Leonard are happy playing a board game until Amy and Penny say they are tired of doing what the guys want. The girls want to do something the guys hate, so Sheldon suggests clothes shopping. While waiting, Sheldon mentions he knows how to compromise because of all he does for Leonard, including still letting Leonard chauffeur him (which Leonard actually hates) though Amy is teaching him to drive. Leonard retorts that he compromises more for the often difficult Sheldon and that because of Sheldon, he does not live with fiancée Penny. Sheldon tearfully apologizes, stating his awareness of how problematic he is and how devastated he would be by Leonard leaving, resulting in both of them breaking down. They decide Leonard should move out gradually, and Sheldon agrees he can spend one night a week at Penny's, and whistle when he isn't home. Leonard spends the night at Penny's, whilst Sheldon sleeps on her couch. Meanwhile, a stressed-out Raj, once part of a team that nine years earlier launched the now to be activated New Horizons space probe, spends the day with Howard and Bernadette and then takes Howard, initially surprised that scientist Raj leans on religion, to a Hindu temple. Raj verbally berates a man who dinged his car door, but calms down on hearing his space probe is fine.

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OPENING CREDITS FLYOVER CARDIFF. Shot pauses and zooms in on an area of the city. CUT TO EXT. STREET - NIGHT Heavy rain pours down, it is dark. Floodlights come on and a body can clearly be seen lying in the street, SOCO (Scene of crime officer) and police officers are milling around the scene. [SCENE_BREAK] Two police officer's standing in the rain, a male and a woman. The male is holding a cup of coffee. GWEN : Oh, hot. Gwen takes the coffee. PC : Gwen, there's not enough. You didn't order. Gwen walks away towards another police officer. PC (off camera) : What do I do now ? GWEN (calls back) : Well I've only just arrived so tough. Who is it ? PC ANDY : I dunno, some bloke. You going to stop over on Friday ? GWEN : I dunno, what is it ? Drinks ? PC ANDY : A bit of pizza I think. GWEN : Might do, yeah. Police Officers move SOCO, "SOCO leaving scene" can be heard from the police radio. PC ANDY : Ay ay, what's happening here then. POLICE OFFICERS : On you go. Come on now. PC ANDY : Move back if you could, thank you. He starts moving people back, moves away from Gwen who is left to watch on her own. GWEN : Hey what's going on ? Gwen speaks in general to anyone then walks up to SOCO. GWEN : Excuse me sir, what is it, what's happening ? SOCO : Buggered if I'd know, it's orders from above. GWEN : But the body is still there though, isn't it though. You can't just leave it. SOCO : Move back they said. Clear the site. Special access they said. GWEN : For who ? SOCO : Torchwood. A black SUV pulls into the site. Four people get out, Jack, Suzie, Owen and Toshiko. They walk past the police and stand by the body, rain still pounding down. GWEN : Who's Torchwood ? SOCO : Special op's or something. He glances at Gwen's coffee. SOCO : That hot ? GWEN : Huh ? Oh yeah, have it. But they're not allowed in there, they could contaminate the evidence and all sorts. I mean how can they... SOCO : Don't ask me. There's no procedure anymore. It's a f*cking disgrace. The SOCO walks away with Gwen's coffee. Gwen stares after him and then looks at the Torchwood team. Jack turns in her direction but does not appear to be looking at her. Gwen tries to see what they are doing. She looks up and sees a multi story car park. INT. FLIGHTS OF CONCRETE STAIRS Gwen runs up the stairs and into the car park a few floors up. She goes to the edge of the car park floor and leans over the balcony, and starts to watch and listen to them. Gwen overlooking body and Torchwood team. EXT. ALLEY NEXT TO THE BODY Torchwood around the murder victim. JACK : There you go, I can taste it, oestrogen. Definitely oestrogen. (He looks up slightly, dripping with rain). You take the pill flush it away, it enters the water cycle. Feminises the fish. Suzie pulls a gauntlet from a crate and puts it on. JACK : Goes all the way up into the sky and then falls all the way back down onto me. Contraceptives in the rain. Love this planet. Still least I won't get pregnant. Never doing that again. Jack looks at Suzie. JACK : How's it going ? SUZIE : Nothing yet, its got to connect. I just gotta feel it. OWEN : Then hurry up and feel it. Freezing my arse off here. SUZIE : I can't just flip a switch ! It's more like access, it, it grants me access. OWEN : Whatever that means. SUZIE : It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. The glove starts to glow, working. JACK : Positions... OWEN : If I get punched again, I'm punching him right back. JACK : Just concentrate. Suzie... Jack nods at her and then Suzie places her hand under the corpse's head. The rain stops around them and the lights get brighter. The corpse breathes out. Gwen looks down, she is shocked. BODY : There was, I was, I was, I was... oh my god what's goin' on ? TOSHIKO : Listen to me, we've only got 2 minutes so it's important that you listen, ok... BODY : Who are you ? TOSHIKO : Trust me. You're dead. BODY : How am I dead ? OWEN : You were stabbed. BODY : I'm not dead, I can see you. TOSHIKO : We've brought you back, but we haven't got long. I'm sorry but you've got to concentrate. Who did this to you ? What did you see ? BODY : But why am I dead ? TOSHIKO : Who attacked you ? BODY : I don't want to be dead ! SUZIE : 60 seconds. TOSHIKO : You've got to think, just focus on me. What was the last thing you saw ? Jack sighs, clearly frustrated. BODY : I didn't see anything. I dunno. TOSHIKO : Who killed you ? Did you see them ? BODY : I dunno. There was something behind me. OWEN : Police said one stab wound in the back. TOSHIKO : So you didn't see anything. BODY : No. There is a long pause, each Torchwood member looks at the body. BODY : What happens now ? SUZIE : 30 seconds. TOSHIKO : But he didn't see anything. SUZIE : Don't waste it. TOSHIKO : What else do I say ? JACK (crouching down) : What's your name ? BODY : John. John Tucker. JACK : Ok John. Not long now. BODY : Who are you ? JACK : Captain Jack Harkness. Tell me what was it like when ya died ? What did ya see ? (Pause) John, tell me what you saw. SUZIE : 10 seconds. BODY : Nothing... I saw nothing... Oh my god there's nothing. John stops breathing, his head falls back into Suzie's hands, dead once more and the rain resumes falling heavily. Gwen stares at them from above. SUZIE : sh1t ! OWEN : I said it was stupid telling him he was dead. TOSHIKO : Well you try it. OWEN : Trust me. Like that's gonna work. JACK : Told the last corpse he was injured and he wasted the whole two minutes screaming for an ambulance. Maybe there's no right way of doing it. Jack looks up, straight at Gwen and calls out. JACK : What do you think ? [SCENE_BREAK] Gwen standing at the car park wall looking over. Gwen leans back shocked when Jack sees her. She runs across the car back and back onto the street. She bends down breathing shallow, shocked and confused. [SCENE_BREAK] ARIEL VIEW OF CARDIFF INT. GWEN'S FLAT - LATER THAT NIGHT Gwen enters pauses in the entrance and then goes upstairs and walks towards the sofa. Rhys, her boyfriend, is sitting watching TV. GWEN : Still up ? RHYS : In 'ere. They said on the news murder in the city centre. Were you there ? GWEN : No. I dunno, nothing to do with me... How come you're still up though ? Gwen sits next to Rhys and kisses him on the forehead. Clearly they are an established couple. RHYS : Oh, Banana Boat came round. He was saying he's got plans. He's off again next summer. GWEN : How come you're not pissed then ? RHYS : Ooo, well we 'ad a cup o' tea. He's read this thing about diabetes. Me and him 'avin tea, that's middle age that is. There's some Chinese in the fridge. GWEN : No I'm not hungry. You coming to bed ? RHYS : Just finish here. This man's found his sister. GWEN : I'll see you in a minute. Gwen walks away. [SCENE_BREAK] GWEN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Gwen lying awake in bed unable to sleep. ARIEL CARDIFF - DAY INT. POLICE OFFICE - CARDIFF - DAY Gwen enters and sees a colleague walking down the stairs carrying files. GWEN : Yvonne, can you do me a favour ? Can you a search for me ? YVONNE : Join the queue. GWEN : It's a Captain Jack Harkness, can you check him out ? Gwen passes Yvonne and starts to walk up the stairs. YVONNE : I'm busy. See's there's proper channels, Gwen. What sort of Captain ? GWEN : Dunno, just a Captain. YVONNE : If I get time. GWEN (calls down stairs) : Thanks. INT. POLICE MURDER INVESTIGATION ROOM - CARDIFF Police officers are looking at crime scene photos pined to a wall and discussing the facts of the case. Gwen enters carrying a tray of tea and coffee. OFFICER : Sarah Palaster, 72. Murdered in her front room. Rani Ghosh, 45. Murdered in Robin Tree Alley and now John Tucker, 19, murdered in Sangavalith Lane. There's absolutely nothing linking these three victims. Apart from the way they died. As far as we can tell, all with the same weapon. A blade, approximately 8 inches long, 3 inches deep. YOUNG COP : The two women were stabbed from the front but John Tucker was stabbed from behind. What does that tell us about the killer ? OFFICER : That he's a coward. EXT. A STREET - DAY Gwen and Andy exit police car and walk towards a pub. GWEN : But those people last night. The people in the car. Who were they ? What's Torchwood ? PC ANDY : I dunno, special ops. GWEN : Yeah but what does that mean ? PC ANDY : Bet you ten quid they're DNA specialists. It's all DNA these days. Like that CSI bollocks. CSI Cardiff, I'd like to see that. They'd be measuring the velocity of a kebab. Gwen and Andy enter the pub. A bar brawl is in progress. Gwen and Andy enter and try to separate the combatants. ANDY : Thank you very much. Thank you... Gwen is pushed aside and knocked over, she bangs her head on a pillar and appears to be in pain. INT. HOSPITAL - CARDIFF - DOCTORS ROOM - LATER THAT DAY A doctor is treating Gwen's head injury. Gwen walks out of the doctors room holding her head, she sees a man running up the stairs, she believes him to be Jack. She follows him up the stairs, running. Upon reaching the top of the stairs Gwen finds a plastic-sealed doorway and Jack has disappeared. She hears a door bang open below her and looks over the stairs to see a porter. GWEN : 'Scuse me. Sorry. It's all sealed off up there. Who did that ? Gwen indicates the sealed door. PORTER : I thought it was you lot. GWEN : But what's it for ? What's happened. PORTER : I dunno. 9 o'clock this morning it was all sealed off, they never said. Chemicals or something. The porter walks off, Gwen enters through a gap in the plastic of the sealed off door. GWEN : Hello ! Gwen walks forward and sees a figure at the end of the corridor. GWEN : Sorry I'm just looking for someone... Gwen cautiously approaches, talking to the figure. GWEN (to self) : Yeah, right, clever... A weevil remains motionless except to tilt it's head at her. GWEN : Anyway I dunno if you saw a man come through here. A tall man, in one of those big sort of military coats. Ok. If you could answer, this is official business. Gwen notices the man appears to be wearing a mask. GWEN : You alright ? That's good. That's a good mask sort of thing... Look I'm sorry if I'm interrupting something, but we can stop this now, ok ? It's all very well playing silly buggers but I'm busy, alright. Now I'm looking for a man in a big grey coat. I said we can stop being silly. The weevil opens its mouth and hisses. The porter enters the corridor and walks towards Gwen. PORTER : Ah, there you are. I did ask but I saw Doctor Mahieb cos I thought it was him said about the police, but he said no and then I said about the chemicals and he said don't be so stupid, "what chemicals ?" So I dunno, could be anything. The porter walks towards Gwen and notices the Weevil. PORTER : Who've you got with you there then ? So much for sealing it off. Oh, ha, there's a face, nice one, oh tell ya mate you should try plastic surgery. Not on the NHS mind. The Porter glances from the weevil to Gwen. PORTER : You alright ? GWEN : Yeah. PORTER : Bloody hell that is brilliant. That's like, erm, Hellraiser ! That's first class that is ! The porter stands close to the weevil and indicates the teeth. PORTER : Look at that ! It's just like real teeth. The weevil grabs the caretaker's head and bites into his neck, blood spurts from his pierced jugular. Enter Jack, Owen and Suzie. Jack grabs Gwen and runs down the corridor with her. JACK : Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go ! INTERCUT WITH : Shots of Owen and Suzie subduing the weevil and putting a black plastic bag over it's head. Jack stops at the end of the corridor. Gwen continues running out of the corridor and down the stairs. She stops running in the hospital entrance hall. Gwen goes into the hospital car park sees the Torchwood SUV. The SUV leaves the car park at speed, honking the horn to move her from their path. Gwen begins to run after it and then gets into a police car and pursues. PC Andy, eating, sees her drives past. ANDY : Oi ! EXT. OVERVIEW - CONTINUOUS The police car follows the Torchwood SUV along the motorway. GWEN (VO) : Registration, Charlie Foxtrot 06. INT. POLICE CAR Gwen driving and speaks into the police radio. GWEN : Foxtrot Delta Uniform. OFFICER (over radio) : Charlie, Foxtrot 06, Foxtrot Delta Uniform. Erm, hold on I think Yvonne wants a word. INTERCUT WITH INT. POLICE STATION CONTROL ROOM - CONCURENT Yvonne stands in front of a bank of screens showing CCTV footage and speaks into the radio. YVONNE (over radio) : No sign of a Captain Jack Harkness. GWEN : Did you search outside Cardiff ? YVONNE : No that never even occurred to me. Course I did ! I went nationwide. There are about 15 Jack's and John's with that surname, none of them a captain. GWEN : S'pose he could've made it up. YVONNE : The only Captain Jack Harkness on record was American. GWEN : That's it, he's American. YVONNE : Which you forgot to tell me. GWEN : So who is he ? YVONNE : American volunteer, Royal Air Force 133 squadron. 'Cept he disappeared. Vanished off the records, presumed dead. GWEN : When was that ? YVONNE : 1941 at the height of blitz. The morning of January the 21st 1941, Captain Jack Harkness failed to report for duty. Never seen again until now. What's going on Gwen, you seeing ghosts ? EXT. IN FRONT OF MILLENNIUM CENTRE - DAY Gwen following the SUV in police car. The SUV pauses, Jack, Suzie, Owen and Tosh exit the vehicle and the SUV departs. Gwen parks in the middle of the square and exits the vehicle and shouts after Torchwood. GWEN : You lot. Oi Torchwood ! The Torchwood team ignores her and continues walking. Gwen starts to follow and is approached by a security guard. SECURITY : Oi ! You can't leave that there ! GWEN : Police ! SECURITY : I can see that love and you're still not leaving it there. Gwen looks over at the Millennium Fountain and notices the Torchwood team have vanished. Gwen walks towards the fountain. SECURITY : I'm talking to you ! Excuse me ! Move your bloody car ! Gwen wanders around the fountain trying to see how they could have disappeared. INT. POLICE CAR - A SHORT TIME LATER Gwen is speaking into her radio. GWEN : Did you get anything on that registration ? OFFICER (over radio) : No such number. GWEN : What does that mean ? OFFICER (over radio) : It doesn't exist, double checked for Swansea, triple checked. There's nothing, no such vehicle. But Temple's been asking 'bout you Gwen. You in trouble ? PC Andy enters Gwen's vehicle. PC ANDY : I have walked ! I have bloody walked ! They share a glance, Gwen appearing apologetic. EXT. MILLENNIUM FOUNTAIN - SHORT TIME LATER Gwen stands next to the Millennium Fountain. GWEN : They were here and then they were gone, and look there's nowhere to hide, they just disappeared ! Andy stands near, arms folded. PC ANDY : Temple's not just livid he's doing his nut. GWEN : There was a man I'm telling you. There was this porter, he was in a porter's uniform and he was killed,or at least he was injured, he must have been injured ! Right in front of me ! This man in a mask sort of lashed out and... ANDY : I've told you, all hospital staff present and correct. GWEN : I saw it. PC ANDY : That's sick. Gwen, sweetheart think about it, what sort of story is that ? You're not well, come with me I'll take you home. GWEN : They were here... PC ANDY : Come on. Andy puts his arm around Gwen's shoulder and guides her to the car. [SCENE_BREAK] CCTV footage of Gwen and Andy returning to the car. SHOTS OF CARDIFF INT. GWEN'S FLAT - LATER SAME DAY Gwen enters the living room / kitchen and sees Rhys cooking. RHYS : Look at me, cooking. Hot pot ! Or as ze French call it, 'ot pot. Gwen smiles fondly and kisses Rhys. GWEN : I should've phoned. I've gotta work. RHYS : You should be off sick. GWEN : I know. But they were short and there's a match on tonight. I said I'd take another shift, I'm sorry. Forgive me, go on, forgive me, say you forgive me. RHYS (smiles) : Yeah... Gwen kisses Rhys. GWEN : I gotta go. ARIEL CARDIFF EXT. MILLENNIUM FOUNTAIN - NIGHT Gwen is walking round the millennium square fountain, trying to see how Torchwood could have got away earlier. She notices a pizza delivery bike drive past. [SCENE_BREAK] CCTV footage of Gwen, on hub computer screen. INT. JUBILEE PIZZA - SAME NIGHT Gwen enters the pizza shop. A young lad works behind the counter. GWEN : Scuse me, Gwen Copper, CID. I'm making some enquiries 'round the bay. I need to check some people out on your list if that's ok. I don't supposed you deliver to a Captain Jack Harkness. PIZZA LAD : Ah, I dunno. GWEN : Well could you 'av a look ? The man behind the counter checks the computer. PIZZA LAD : No. He's not a regular anyway. GWEN : J. Harkness or just Harkness. The pizza boy checks the computer again. PIZZA LAD : No. GWEN : Ok, never mind. Thanks anyway. Gwen starts to leave Jubilee Pizza then turns back to the counter GWEN : I don't suppose you've got a Torchwood ? PIZZA LAD : Oh aye ! We do them all the time. They're good customers. EXT. CARDIFF BAY - NIGHT Gwen walks along the bay carrying pizza boxes. INT. TOURIST INFORMATION OFFICE - LATER THE SAME NIGHT Gwen enters the reception area and looks around. A man enters through a beaded curtain behind the desk and smiles at Gwen. GWEN : Oh hiya. Sorry I'm late. Someone ordered pizza. IANTO : Who's it for ? GWEN : I think it's a Mr Harkness. Gwen flinches as the door she entered through closes behind her. Ianto presses a button behind the desk and a part of the wall opens to reveal a passageway. Gwen looks surprised. IANTO : Don't keep 'em waitin'. Gwen goes to the doorway and glances back at Ianto. He inclines his head in encouragement. Gwen walks cautiously down an ill lit brick passageway. A door opens at one end of the corridor, Gwen walks towards it and enters a lift. She goes down several storeys. She exit's the lift and goes through a large cog shaped door ahead of her. Camera pans right, around the Hub. The cog door and some bars slide shut behind Gwen. She glances at them and then notices a cylindrical container in which a hand is held in pale blue bubbling liquid. The Torchwood members working at their stations. [SCENE_BREAK] Someone welding, the mask is removed to reveal Suzie. [SCENE_BREAK] Jack on the balcony walk down the stairs and into his office. Gwen walks towards Jack's office door past Toshiko and Owen who are on the computers. Gwen approaches slowly and they start laughing, Owen turns round on his chair to face Gwen. OWEN : I can't do this, I'm sorry. I'm rubbish. I give up. TOSHIKO (pointing) : He set me off. SUZIE : Well that lasted nought point two seconds. OWEN : Mmm, she's actually carrying pizza. JACK : Come on ! She was gonna say here's your pizza and I was gonna say how much ? And she says oh, whatever, 20 quid and I say ooo... I don't have any money. I was working on a punch line, I'd have got there, but it would have been good. GWEN : There's your pizza, I think I better go. JACK : I think we've gone past that stage. SUZIE : You must have been freezing out there, how long you walking round ? Three hours ? GWEN : You could see me ? SUZIE : Mhmm. JACK : And before we go any further. Who the hell orders pizza under the name of Torchwood ? OWEN : Err, yeah, that would be me. Sorry I'm a twat. GWEN : That man at the hospital ? That porter ? What happened to him ? That was real wasn't it, he was attacked ? JACK : He's dead. GWEN : But there's no one gone missing. TOSHIKO : I took the body, retrospectively changed the work rota. Planted a false witness who saw him leaving the hospital, giving him an alibi for the next 48 hours so that when his body is pulled out of the docks next Tuesday night, he's only been missing for three days. GWEN : He was murdered. TOSHIKO : Yeah. GWEN : And you covered it up. TOSHIKO (shrugs) : It's my job. GWEN : And that other man, John Tucker. Last night in the alleyway, I saw you... JACK : And what did you see ? GWEN : You revived him. JACK : No. What did you see ? GWEN : You resuscitated him. JACK : No. What did you see ? GWEN : You brought him back to life. JACK : Yeah. GWEN : Who are you ? JACK : Torchwood. GWEN : What's Torchwood ? JACK : This is Torchwood, all around you. Jack indicates the Hub. GWEN : And what happens to me ? JACK : Ohh... GWEN : I'm police. Constable Gwen Cooper. You can't do anything. JACK : Alright PC Cooper. Do you want to come see ? GWEN : See what ? JACK : You saw the murder. Come and see the murderer. Jack walks away, expecting Gwen to follow. Gwen pauses and Suzie notices her expression. SUZIE : Go with him. Gwen puts the pizza down on a sofa and follows Jack. GWEN : What is Torchwood ? Who are you ? What is this place ? Something screeches above Gwen and she ducks. GWEN : What was that ? TOSHIKO (bored) : Pterodactyl. JACK (off screen) : Are you coming ? [SCENE_BREAK] INT. TORCHWOOD CELLS Jack opens the cell block door and enters followed by Gwen. The line of cells are dark, the paint on the wall flaking off. The cells have one clear wall, facing the corridor, with air holes. They walk to the end of a line of cells and Jack switches on the light to the end cell. Gwen looks in and jumps when she sees the Weevil inside. JACK : It's alright. It's safe. It's sedated. It's called a weevil, or at least we call them weevils. We don't know their real name because they're not too good at communicating. But we got a couple of hundred of them in city. Living in the sewers, feeding off the... well it's the sewers you can guess. But every once in a while one of them goes rogue, comes to the surface, attacks. Actually it's been happening more and more and we have no idea why. But it's alien. Look into its eyes. Jack gets a stool for Gwen and helps her sit. He remains standing behind her. JACK : There you go. Take your time. It was born on a different world and it's real. Gwen stares into the weevil's eyes. INT. TORCHWOOD HUB CENTRAL - SOMETIME LATER Jack and Gwen stand in the centre surrounded by the rest of the team at their stations. Jack makes introductions. JACK : Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper. OWEN : Dr. Owen Harper, thank you. JACK : Toshiko Sato, computer genius. Suzie Costello she's second in command, and this is Ianto Jones. He cleans up after us and gets us everywhere on time. IANTO : I try my best... JACK : And he looks good in a suit. IANTO : Careful. That's harassment sir. GWEN : But why are you telling me their names, I'm not supposed to know am I ? This is classified isn't it ? JACK : Way beyond classified... GWEN : Then you shouldn't be telling me. What're you going to do to me ? JACK : What do you imagine ? GWEN : Well I've seen too much. Your names and everything and the weevil... you can dump a man in the water a lie about his death... JACK : Ok, Tosh finish that calibration tomorrow morning. Owen first thing get hold of Chandler and Belle because I think they're lying. Ianto, if he needs back up then you better be on stand by. Suzie, I know it's a pain in the ass but I need the costing on the glove research... And as for you, you're coming with me. This way. Jack looks at Gwen and then walks way, again expecting Gwen to follow. GWEN : I'm getting tired of following you. JACK : No you're not and you never will... He turns to look at her then steps onto a stone platform. JACK : Stand on here, come on, with me. Jack holds out his hand to Gwen, helps her step onto the platform and then puts his arm around her. TOSHIKO (off screen) : Goodnight ! OWEN (off screen) : Later ! JACK : Now, you came in through the front door, lets take the scenic route. Jack presses a button on his wrist cuff and the ceiling 4 stories up opens. The platform starts to move upwards. Gwen grabs Jack's arm to steady herself. Suzie looks up at them as the platform rises. EXT. IN FRONT OF MILLENNIUM FOUNTAIN - CONTINUOUS Jack and Gwen stand on the platform, which now appears to be a normal paving slab. They are apparently in clear view of the passing pedestrians. GWEN : But... but they can see the lift. Why aren't they, I mean, we are right out in the open they can see everything. JACK : Do they look like they can see us ? GWEN : No but look at us, we couldn't be anymore public. Jack shouts at a passer by. The man does not notice them. JACK : Hello ! Hey you there ! Hello ! It's called a perception filter, he can sort of see us but we don't quite register. Just like something in the corner of your eye. It only works on this exact spot. Step off... Jack moves from the platform and waves at a passing lady who stares at him. JACK : Hi ! Nice night. Ooh, and low we are perceived. GWEN : How does it work ? JACK : No idea. We know how to use it, not how it happens. But if I were to guess I would say it was once a dimensionally transcendental chameleon circuit placed right on this spot which welded it's perception properties to a spacio-temporal rift. Now that sounds kinda ridiculous. Invisible lift has got more of a ring to it don't you think ? GWEN : But hold on, if no one can see it when the lifts coming up, there's a bloody big hole in the floor, don't people fall in ? JACK : That is so Welsh. GWEN : What is ? JACK : I show you something fantastic, you find fault. Jack walks away followed by Gwen. ARIEL VIEW CARDIFF INT. A BAR Gwen and Jack are sitting at the bar. Gwen drinks deeply from her pint glass. GWEN : The thing is I just don't understand. JACK : No I'll tell you what I don't understand. You're going to rattle on with this "how can this be true ?" kinda shtick. What's it going to take for you people. If you want evidence of aliens, how about that great big space ship hovering over London on Christmas day ? What about the battle of Canary Wharf, a Cyberman in every home ? GWEN : My boyfriend says it's like some kind of terrorism. Like they put in drugs in the water supply, psychotropic drugs causing mass hallucinations and stuff. JACK : Yeah, well your boyfriend's stupid. GWEN : Oh you've met him ? Jack laughs and sips his water. GWEN : So you catch aliens ? JACK : Yep. GWEN : You catch aliens for a living. JACK : Yes we do. GWEN : You're an alien catcher. JACK : Yes I am. GWEN : Caught any good aliens ? JACK : Tones of them. GWEN : That's a hell of a job. JACK (laughs) : Sure is. GWEN : This is so weird. And who are you then ? JACK : Captain Jack Harkness. GWEN : I did some research and there's only one Captain Jack Harkness on record and he disappeared in 1941. JACK : Well that couldn't be me... could it ? We don't just catch aliens; we scavenge the stuff they leave behind, find ways of using it, arming the human race for the future. The 21st century is when it all changes and you gotta be ready. GWEN : But who's in charge of you, is it the government or what ? JACK : We're separate from the government, outside the police, beyond the United Nations cuz if one power got hold of this stuff, they could use it for their own purposes. GWEN : But so could you. JACK : All alien technology stays on the base no one's allowed to take anything outside. INT. TOSH'S KITCHEN - CONCURRENT Toshiko enters and takes an alien device from her handbag. INT. OWEN'S BATHROOM - CONCURRENT Owen getting ready to go out, he removes a bottle from his bathroom cabinet. INT. SUZIE'S HOME - CONCURRENT Suzie removes the metal glove from her bag. INT. BAR - CONSECUTIVE Gwen and Jack sitting in the bar drinking. GWEN : So go on then, how the hell did you end up in Cardiff ? JACK : This is Torchwood 3. Torchwood 1 was London, destroyed in the battle. Torchwood 2 is an office in Glasgow, very strange man. Torchwood 3, Cardiff, Torchwood 4 has kinda gone missing but we'll find it one day. GWEN : So you just fancied Cardiff ? JACK : There's a rift in space and time running right through the city. The weevils didn't come on a spaceship, they kinda just, slipped through. All sorts of things get washed up here, creatures, time shifts, space junk, debris. Flotsam and jetsam. GWEN : Sounds like Cardiff... JACK : Hey, hey, hey, don't knock it I'm a citizen. GWEN : But where are you from ? JACK (shrugs) : All sorts of places. GWEN : The thing is we could liaise on this, this serial killer. I could be like your liaison with the police. JACK : Right I can see the mistake : you think that because we turned up at the scene of crime we're out to catch the killer. GWEN : Uhhuh... JACK : Sorry, nothing to do with us. GWEN : Then what were you doing there ? JACK : Testing the glove, we need murder victims, simple as that. The glove only works on the recently deceased. The more violent the trauma the stronger the resurrection. All we needed was fresh meat. GWEN : No you were asking that man John Tucker, I saw you. You were asking him about his killer... JACK : He'd just been murdered. What else are you gonna ask ? GWEN : You could get an ID, you could help. JACK (shrugs) : We're busy. GWEN : And your work is more important ? JACK : Now you got it. GWEN : Well that's tough sh1t cos if you let me go then I have a duty, I can tell them what you've got because that glove could help us. JACK : If you remember. GWEN : What do you mean ? JACK : How's your drink ? GWEN : Have you poisoned me ? JACK : Don't be so dramatic. It's an amnesia pill, my own recipe, with a touch of denial and a dash of Retcon. Wake up tomorrow morning and you'll have forgotten everything about Torchwood, worst still you'll have forgotten me. Which is kinda tragic. Gwen appears shaken. She gets up leaves the bar. Jack follows her onto the street and calls after her. JACK : Don't think you can fight it by staying awake, I mixed in a little sedative to. GWEN : Then I'll tell someone... JACK : Do you really wanna do that ? Do you really want us to come and find them too ? GWEN : You b*st*rd ! JACK : Language ! Nice knowing you Gwen Cooper. Jack winks at her and walks away. Gwen watches his go then runs away. EXT. A CAR PARK ENTRANCE / EXIT RAMP Gwen runs up the ramp away from the car park. EXT. A STREET Jack walks slowly up the street, hands in his pockets. INT. GWEN'S STUDY - LATER Gwen feverishly begins typing everything she has learnt about Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood and the glove onto her computer in an attempt to conserve the knowledge. INT. A BAR - SAME EVENING Owen stands at the bar, he looks over and sees a girl further down the bar. He moves to talk to her. OWEN : Hello. LINDA : Alright. OWEN : You having a good time ? LINDA : I was. OWEN : Can I buy you a drink ? LINDA : No thanks I'm fine. OWEN : Am I wasting my time ? LINDA : I dunno, are you ? OWEN : Look I've gotta be up early, I've got a hell of a day tomorrow and I really can't be bothered with all the chat. Owen sprays his face with liquid from the bottle he took earlier. OWEN : So do you want a drink or what ? The girl's attitude markedly changes. suddenly finding Owen irresistible she kisses him passionately. LINDA : Bloody hellfire ! You're coming home with me you are. Right now. The girl pulls Owen's lapels and drags him from the bar. INT. GWEN'S STUDY - LATER THE SAME NIGHT Gwen continues typing details about Torchwood onto her computer. INT. TOSHIKO'S HOUSE - CONCURRENT Toshiko is scanning the spine of a book (A Tale of Two Cities) from her bookcase. She then moves to the computer and places the alien scanner alongside. The contents of the books appear on the computer screen - the pages flipping. INT. GWEN'S STUDY Gwen continues typing. INT. SUZIE'S HOUSE - CONCURRENT Suzie uses the glove to resurrect a fly which has died on the window sill and it flies away. INT. GWEN'S STUDY Gwen types "Read this !" She is struggling to stay awake. EXT. A STREET NEAR TO THE BAR - CONCURRENT Owen and Linda are walking from the bar. Her boyfriend sees them and jogs over. COLIN : Oi you b*st*rd, come 'ere. Linda what do you think you are doing with him ? What the f*ck do you think you're doing with him ? LINDA : I'm taking him home and I'm having him, now piss off. COLIN : What the f*ck do you think you're doing with my girlfriend you b*st*rd. OWEN : Hey, I didn't know. She was on her own, she never said. COLIN : You tosser, you f*cking tosser. LINDA : Colin, button it. He's mine. COLIN : Do you wanna have a go do you ? Wanna have a go ? Well come on then mate. OWEN : Well if it makes it easier... Owen sprays his face with the alien liquid again. The boyfriend's expression changes and he kisses Owen. COLIN : I'm so having you. LINDA : I'm having him first. OWEN : Taxi ! INT. GWEN'S STUDY Gwen begins to fall asleep, her typing flawed and her vision blurring. INT. TORCHWOOD HUB Ianto hacks into Gwen's computer. "Gwen Cooper - Home Intercept" is written on his screen. INT. GWEN'S STUDY - CONCURRENT Gwen's document is highlighted, deleted from the screen and the computer powers down. Gwen, confused, tries to type on the powerless keyboard, then falls asleep over the computer. EXT. WIDE ANGLE VIEW OF ALTOLUSSO APARTMENT BUILDING - CONCURRENT Shot closes in. Jack is standing on a narrow structure jutting horizontally from the roof of the building. 360 degree shot widening to view of Cardiff. INT. GWEN'S STUDY - NEXT MORNING Gwen is slumped over her computer. Rhys enters with a cup of tea. Rhys kisses Gwen's hair and she wakes, still groggy. RHYS : Did you get pissed ? GWEN : No. What time is it ? RHYS : 7:30. You said you were working last night. GWEN : I was. RHYS : Then how come you fell asleep in here ? GWEN : I haven't... I was, typing. That is work... RHYS : Not having a go, just saying. It's not exactly clever going out on a lash when you've just had a bang on the head. Hope you didn't drive in that state... who were you with ? Diane ? GWEN : Must have been yeah. INT. POLICE STATION ENTRANCE - LATER THAT MORNING Gwen enters, followed by Yvonne. YVONNE : Had any luck ? GWEN : With what ? YVONNE : Captain Jack Harkness. GWEN : How'd ya mean ? Who's he ? YVONNE : Oh don't worry about me. Go ahead, wasting my time ! Gwen walks up the stairs looking confused by the conversation. She walks upstairs and down a corridor, she walks past another police man. OFFICER : Hi GWEN : Hi. Gwen enters an office where plain clothes police are working at desks. DI JACOBS : Aye aye, come to see where the real work's done. GWEN : Yes sir. That's right sir, how's it going ? DI JACOBS : Sod all. Gwen sees a diagram of a knife. GWEN : Is that the murder weapon ? The officer nods and stands to join her looking at the picture. DI JACOBS : Clever mind. They worked it all out on the computer. Took measurements from the stab wounds; calculated the shape of the blade and stuff, even those prongs. I dunno how they do it. Nasty lookin'beast though. Do you recognise it ? GWEN (shakes her head) : No. DI JACOBS : We're trying to trace it. Can't be that many of them. Sort of, ornamental. We're checking the CV logs with customs in case it's been imported. Find the knife we might find the killer, well if it rings any bells give us a shout. GWEN : Yeah, thanks. Gwen leaves the office and walks through the police station. INTERCUT WITH : images of the drawing of the knife as she walks. EXT. A ROOF CAR PARK - LATER Gwen and PC Andy stand. PC Andy is telling an anecdote, Gwen is not listening, she is thinking about the knife. INT. GWEN'S FLAT - LATER THAT DAY Rhys is preparing dinner, Gwen sits at the table. Gwen is not really listening to Rhys; again thinking of the knife. She appears to be remembering seeing it before. Rhys talks while handing out dinner. INT. GWEN'S BEDROOM - THAT NIGHT Gwen lies in bed thinking about the knife. The alarm clock reads 2.01. She gets out of bed and goes to her study. She draws a picture of the knife on a piece of paper. She finishes it, looks at it, screws it up and throws it in the bin. She leans back in her chair. She sees the knife again. A magazine of events at the Millennium Centre on her desk attracts her attention. She has written 'remember' on the cover. EXT. IN FRONT OF MILLENNIUM CENTRE - NIGHT Gwen is walking outside the millennium centre, she sees a figure near the fountain, the figure appears as Suzie and Gwen remembers the knife. She then remembers a welding mask, and Suzie removing the mask. Gwen does not yet remember clearly. SUZIE : Hello again. You were right, you told Jack we should liaise with the police I was the only one who bothered, so, I was the only who saw the report. Suzie pulls the knife out of her bag. SUZIE : You got a good likeness. GWEN : I'm arresting you for... How do I know you ? SUZIE : I thought you might've seen it and that can trick the amnesia, just one specific image if you're clever. He said you were good. Anyway it's not much good now, I can't really... She gestures with the knife. SUZIE : You're going to put up a fight so I've got... She searches her handbag. SUZIE : Erm hold on... sorry. She pulls out a gunand drops her bag. SUZIE : There that's better. She points the gun at Gwen and cocks it. Gwen looks terrified. GWEN : Put it down... SUZIE : You had to come back... GWEN : Put don't the gun. SUZIE : You're the only one who can make the link...well the only one in public. Torchwood's gonna find out by morning, but I'll be gone. I don't know where, far away... What am I going to do ? I loved this job, I really loved it. And now I've got run. Oh, Christ ! How can you do any other job after this ? GWEN : Please put down the gun. SUZIE : It gets inside you, you do this job for long enough and you end up thinking... how come we get all the, the weevils and bollocks and sh1t. Is that what alien life is ? Filth ? Then maybe there's better stuff out there, brilliant stuff, beautiful stuff. Just... But they don't come here. This planet's so dirty, that's all we get, the sh1t. GWEN : I don't know what you're talking about. SUZIE : I wish I could forget. GWEN : Why did you kill those people ? SUZIE : For the glove. Suzie steps forward. GWEN : Just stay where you are. SUZIE : I needed the bodies, that's how it works, violent death. It was so easy. To bring them back I just positioned myself behind the head so they never see me twice. GWEN : You killed 3 people. SUZIE : It was the only way. The more I use the glove, the more I control it... GWEN : I don't understand what glove ? Where have I seen you before ? SUZIE : If I can get enough practise, then think what the glove could do. If I could get it to work all the time, on anything, beyond two minutes, if I could get it to work permanently, it could resurrect. Resurrection on demand for the whole world, isn't that good ? Jack rises up on the invisible lift between them. SUZIE : Isn't it though ? Well that's what I've been working for. All day, all night, the rest of them go swanning about while I'm working. You gotta get inside this stuff. Surrender yourself to it, I did with the knife and the glove, and that's why the perception filter isn't going to work on me... Suzie turns and shoots Jack in the forehead, he collapses. Gwen is shocked, he seems to have appeared from nowhere. GWEN : What... who is he ? Where did he come from ? What have you done... Suzie points the gun at Gwen and cocks it. GWEN : Please don't... SUZIE : I can't let you go. She steps over Jack's body and towards Gwen. GWEN : Please... SUZIE : I've got to... Gwen begins to sob in fear, hands clutching her hair. SUZIE : I'm sorry, I've got, I've got to... I've got to... Jack stands up behind Suzie. A bullet wound in this forehead heals as Gwen watches. JACK : Put down the gun. Suzie turns to look at Jack. JACK : Suzie, it's over, now come with me... Jack offers her his hand to Suzie. Gwen looks on disbelieving. Suzie turns to look at Gwen and then puts the gun under her chin and pulls the trigger, she collapses, instantly dead. GWEN : I... remember. I remember. Gwen falls to the floor. INT. JACK'S OFFICE THE HUB - LATER THAT NIGHT Ianto puts the glove and the knife into a secure box tagged "not for use" and puts the box in Jack's safe. Owen and Toshiko put the alien devices they had taken onto Jack's desk. INT. TORCHWOOD MORGUE Jack zips up Suzie's body bag, puts it into one of the many freezer units and walks away. EXT. ROOF OF MILLENNIUM CENTRE - DAWN Jack and Gwen are standing on the roof talking. GWEN : Owen and Toshiko, you didn't tell them that you were shot in the head and survived. JACK : You didn't tell them either. Followed my lead. Keep doing that and you might just get through this. GWEN : But she killed you... JACK : I can't die. GWEN : Ok... JACK : But I can't... Something happened to me a while back, long story and far away. But I was killed, and then I was brought back to life and ever since then, I can't die. GWEN : But how ? JACK : I dunno. One day I'll find a doctor, the right sort of doctor and maybe he can explain it, but until then... GWEN : Nothing kills you ? JACK : Well, kinda freaks people out, so, best if you don't say anything. GWEN : It doesn't matter anyway, you'll only wipe my memory again. JACK : Why would I do that ? Torchwood's got a vacancy. Job going spare, do you want it ? GWEN : But... what do you need me for ? JACK : Because maybe you were right, we could do more to help. What do you think ? Wanna join up ? GWEN : ...Yeah. Gwen turns to look at the city. Jack smiles. GWEN : I do yes. CLOSING ARIEL VIEW OF MILLENNIUM CENTRE The pterodactyl flies over the centre.

PC Gwen Cooper is at the scene of a brutal murder, when the "special ops," known only as Torchwood, arrive. After witnessing the group bring the dead man back to life, Gwen goes in pursuit of this mysterious organization, only to see weirder things than she could ever imagine existed. Soon after, she begins to regret giving in to her curiosity, when she meets Captain Jack Harkness.

fd_FRIENDS_02x04

fd_FRIENDS_02x04_0

Originally written by Alexa Junge Transcribed by Josh Hodge. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is on the phone.] RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys. [a stranger enters with flowers] STRANGER: Hi. RACHEL: Hi, hi can I help you? STRANGER: Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here? RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her. STRANGER: Great. Uhh, just tell her her husband stopped by. [leaves flowers on bar] RACHEL: What? [in surprise she forgets she has the pigeon in the pot and lets it get away] STRANGER: Hey, how, how did you do that? OPENING TITLES [Scene: Monica and Rachels apartment. The whole gang is there.] JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married? PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card. MONICA: I can't believe you married Duncan. I mean how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything. PHOEBE: I'm sorry Monica but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgemental and you would not approve. MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking? ROSS: You see, and you thought she'd be judgemental. PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend. MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger. ALL: Huuh. MONICA: Well, didn't you? PHOEBE: I might have. MONICA: I can't believe you didn't tell me. PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything. MONICA: What have I not told you? PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having s*x with Fun Bobby out on the terrace. RACHEL: What! MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat. CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret. MONICA: Oh it's not big, not at all, you know, kinda the same lines as, say, oh I don't know, having a third nipple. PHOEBE: You have a third nipple? CHANDLER: You bitch. ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out. CHANDLER: C'mon, there's nothin' to see, it's just a tiny bump, it's totally useless. RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples? JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin. ROSS: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was? JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again. ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin. CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie. ALL: Huuh. CHANDLER: If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me. ROSS: You were in a porno? JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' s*x on it. MONICA: That is wild. ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like? PHOEBE: Yeah, is there a hair on it? JOEY: What happens if you flick it? [Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.] ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special? CHANDLER: Why yes Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance to the magical land of Narnia. JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you. CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area? ROSS: You know, you are so amazing, is there anything you, you don't know? RACHEL: [to Monica at the counter] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special. MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it. RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it. [Phoebe enters all dressed up] ALL: Woah. JOEY: Foxy lady. JULIE: Where you goin'? PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades. JOEY: The Ice Capades? CHANDLER: No, no the gravel capades. Yeah, the turns aren't as fast but when Snoopy falls. . . funny. MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again. PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband. ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here? CHANDLER: Oh I see, I see, because of the third nipple thing. Ha ha ha ha. . . [Scene: Central Perk close to closing. Ross and Julie are still there. Rachel is cleaning tables.] ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later. JULIE: See you later Rach. RACHEL: Bye-bye Julie. [Julie leaves] [Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.] RACHEL: Hey. ROSS: Hey. [Ross kicks her again] RACHEL: Hey, c'mon, cut it out. ROSS: Hey? RACHEL: What? ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'? RACHEL: Sure. ROSS: Naa. RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me. ROSS: OK, what's the longest you've been in the relationship before ha, have, having the s*x? RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having s*x? ROSS: Technically, huh, no. RACHEL: Wow. Is it, is it 'cause she's so cold in bed. Or, or is it 'cause she's like, kinda bossy, makes it feel like school? ROSS: No, no, she's great and it's not like we haven't done anything. I mean, uh, uh, we, we do plenty of other stuff, lot's of other stuff, like uhh. . . RACHEL: No, no no no, don't need to know the details. ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird. RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think? ROSS: What? RACHEL: I think it's sexy. ROSS: Sexy? RACHEL: Let me tell you something. As a woman there is nothing sexier than a man who does not want to have s*x. ROSS: No kidding? RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do? ROSS: What? RACHEL: I'd wait. ROSS: You'd wait? RACHEL: Yes, absolutely. I would wait and wait. . . then I'd wait some more. ROSS: Really? RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have s*x with, with another man. That just means it's working. ROSS: Women really want this? RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself] [Scene: Madison Square Garden. Duncan's dressing room.] PHOEBE: Hi. DUNCAN: Phoebe! PHOEBE: Ta-da. DUNCAN: Hey. PHOEBE: Hi. DUNCAN: Ahh, look at you, you look great. PHOEBE: Do I? Thank you, so do you. DUNCAN: Thanks. PHOEBE: Sparkly. So, wow, this is pretty wonerful, huh. Mr. major capades guy. I, I remember when you were just, like, King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice is Nice. DUNCAN: You always said I'd make it. PHOEBE: Yeah, well, ya know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Wooo. DUNCAN: I missed you. [they hug] I'm gonna get changed. PHOEBE: OK. DUNCAN: Um, now. Phoebs. PHOEBE: Oh, right, OK. Ole. DUNCAN: What? PHOEBE: Um, the matador. [Duncan leaves] Ole, ha ha ha. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross and Julie are setting the table.] ROSS: Julie, can you hold this for a second, thanks. [hands her a bowl and kisses her] [Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel enter. Ross and Julie don't notice.] CHANDLER: Uh, Julie. JULIE: Yeah? CHANDLER: Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face. But, uh, it's gone now, you're alright. ROSS: Hi everyone. ALL: Hi. ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before. RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing? ROSS: Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey. RACHEL: What did, what did he say? ROSS: Basically he told me to get over myself and just do it, ya know. So I though about what you said and I though about what he said and, well, his way I get to have s*x tonight so. . . [Scene: Ross's apartment. After dinner. Chandler enters.] CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie. ROSS: Pop it in. JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in] RACHEL: Great, people having s*x, that's just what I need to see. ROSS: What's wrong with people having s*x? RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here. MONICA: Hell, I wanna see Joey. [video starts with the cheesy p0rn disco music] [SCENE_BREAK] JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind. CHANDLER: OK, now wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen. MONICA: All I say is, she better get the job. ROSS: Looks to me like he's the one getting the job. JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have s*x. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray. CHANDLER: Nice work my friend. JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . . [Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is fixing her hair and Duncan enters.] PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday. DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce. PHOEBE: Ohh. . .K. How come? DUNCAN: Umm, actually, I'm getting married again. PHOEBE: What? DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight. PHOEBE: Huuh. DUNCAN: Yeah, I know, I. PHOEBE: I, I don't, I don't understand, how can you be straight? I mean, you're, you're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties. DUNCAN: I know, that's what I kept telling myself but you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore. PHOEBE: So how long have you known? DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in. PHOEBE: And um, and there's actually a, a woman? DUNCAN: Her name's Debra. PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with? DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college. PHOEBE: Sure. DUNCAN: But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way. PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.' DUNCAN: I'm, I'm still me. PHOEBE: Why couldn't you have just figured this out six years ago? [Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.] MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there. JULIE: That saves us a conversation. CHANDLER: Well, listen, this has been great but I'm officially wiped. JOEY: Me too, we should get goin'. RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore. MONICA: Rachel, that's all we do. RACHEL: Maybe that's all we do, what about Julie? JULIE: What about Julie? RACHEL: Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you. I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like, what don't you like? We wanna hear everything. JULIE: Well, that could take a while. RACHEL: So. I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie? CHANDLER: I got the time to get to know Julie. JOEY: I got time. MONICA: Rach, I know her pretty well, can I go? [Rachel gives her a look from hell] That's fine. RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like? JULIE: Well, in a nutshell. . . RACHEL: Nah, uh, uh, uh, uh. [Scene: Madison Square Garden, Duncan's dressing room. Phoebe is signing the divorce papers.] PHOEBE: So, um, have you told your parents? DUNCAN: No, but it'll be OK, they're pretty cool, my brother's straight so. . . PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better. DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss] PHOEBE: So your brother's straigh huh? Seriously. [Scene: Ross's apartment. Julie is telling her live story.] JULIE: And my second grade teacher was Ms. Thomas, and my first grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb. RAHCEL: Mrs., Mrs. Gobb? JULIE: No Cobb, as in cobb salad. RACHEL: Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad? CHANDLER: I'm goin' home. RACHEL: What? [Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit] JOEY: Boy that Julie's a talker, huh? ROSS: Goodnight. RACHEL: So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . . ROSS: Oh, no no, I am. RACHEL: Oh, well, are hey, are you nervous? ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before. RACHEL: Uh, OK, I mean uh, what, how are you gonna handle it. I mean, are, are ya gonna, are ya gonna talk about it before hand, are you just gonna pounce? ROSS: I uh, I don't know, I guess I'm just gonna see, see what happens. RAHCEL: OK, gook luck. ROSS: Wha, uhh, what? RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from. ROSS: OK, now I'm nervous. RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off. ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know. RACHEL: I know, yeah, sorry. ROSS: What, it's not your fault. RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that. ROSS: Really? RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen. ROSS: [being drawn in by her talk] Uh-huh. RACHEL: And then, I don't know, I mean you'd pull me really close to you so that, so that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you. And, um, it would get kind of sweaty and uh, and blurry, and then it's just happening. ROSS: Ohh. . . Thanks Rach, goodnight. [goes back in apartment] RACHEL: Ohh, God. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: The next morning on the street. Ross is dancing along, Singing in the Rain is playing. Two old ladies are sitting on a bench.] ROSS: Good morning. OLD WOMAN: Well, somebody got some last night. ROSS: Twice.

The gang is amazed that Phoebe has been secretly married to a gay Canadian ice dancer named Duncan ( Steve Zahn ). She married him so he could obtain a green card. Phoebe is excited when he wants to see her, then is crushed that he wants a divorce. Duncan says he realized he is not gay and wants to marry someone else. Interesting facts are revealed about the others: Joey starred in a porn film and Chandler has a third nipple. Ross seeks relationship advice from Rachel after revealing that he and Julie have not slept together yet. Rachel, wanting to keep them apart, advises they abstain, while Joey gives Ross the opposite advice.

fd_You_re_the_Worst_01x01

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Becca: Vernon and I just want to thank you all for coming. Ever since I was a small girl, I've dreamt of this day. Vernon: Me, too. (laughter) Becca: Sure, in my fantasy, it took place at Fraggle Rock. (laughter) I was marrying Johnny Depp. Vernon: Me, too. (laughter) (Becca clears her throat) Becca: But in all seriousness, it is so amazing to be surrounded by so many people who care about us. We really feel... so much love from you guys. And as the Beatles said, "All you need is love." And a Vera Wang dress. (Becca chuckles) (laughter) Vernon and I are looking forward to seeing you at our 50th wedding anniversary. (Becca laughs) (crying): Promised myself I wasn't gonna do this. Uh, Jimmy, are you having a-a good time? Jimmy: Absolutely. Just so glad you invited me. Becca: Really? Jimmy: Of course. Sometimes, well, you just want to witness the beginning of a disaster, so later, when the house is engulfed in flames, you can say, "Yup, I was there when they installed the faulty wiring." Becca: Unbelievable. Jimmy: Just admit it. You only invited me here so you could passive-aggressively rub my nose in your happiness. At least I would have had the decency to rub your nose in it directly. Becca: Oh, yes, your commitment to honesty is so refreshing. It must be so hard being the only one who sees people for what they actually are. Jimmy: It is. It's incredibly hard. Becca: Well, it's also gonna be what keeps you alone, because you are ugly and unpleasant and honestly, Jimmy, you're not the original you think you are. Jimmy: I'm not original? Wow! That is hilarious, coming from such a... No, you're right. This day isn't about me, is it? Becca: What were you gonna say? Jimmy: Forget it. Becca: No, I'm serious. I really want to know what does (in British accent): the brilliant Jimmy Shive-Overly think about me? (Jimmy grunts) Vernon: You talk to her again, and me and my boys will mess you up. Jimmy: Who talks like that? Vernon: I'm serious, Jimmy. Jimmy: Fine, not a problem. Enjoy your sham of a marriage! Vernon: I will! Gretchen: You got another one of those? Jimmy: Pretty expensive. Gretchen: Good job in there. Jimmy: Getting married doesn't remove you from the burden of having to act like a human being. Gretchen: Totally. Those two are doomed. Jimmy: Right? Has any couple ever had a more dishonest start to a marriage? I mean, the balls to have a traditional Catholic ceremony. Gretchen: When she's already had two abortions. Jimmy: And can only orgasm through a**l. (people gasp and mutter) Jimmy: Mr. and Mrs. Cottumaccio. Man: Let's go inside. Jimmy: Old Cottumaccios. (man mutters) You're pretty. Gretchen: Thanks? Jimmy: How do you know her? Gretchen: I'm friends with the sister. Jimmy: Friends with Fat Lindsay? Gretchen: Yeah, me and Fat Lindsay are hella close. Jimmy: So, uh, what you heard about me? Gretchen: Nothing, just that you're the worst. Jimmy: Says the girl who just stole a blender from a wedding. Gretchen: No. Really? Oh, man! I thought it was a food processor. Jimmy: Who's the worst now? Gretchen: Yeah, well... Gretchen: I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm not even attracted to you. Jimmy: What does that have to do with anything? Gretchen: Yeah. ♪ Don't look ahead There's stormy weather... ♪ Jimmy: What? It's L.A. Who doesn't drive? Gretchen: DUI. I occasionally see this movie director guy. Jimmy: Gross. Gretchen: One time, he booty-texted me from some awards show. I was already at the bar, so I drove over to his house, and then he texted me he was going to be late, so I idly drove around his neighborhood... (chuckles): until I kind of sideswiped an off-duty cop. Jimmy: Do you know, I'm glad this is a one-night thing, so we can reveal all this awful sh1t about ourselves. Gretchen (chuckles): Totally. High five. I'll get that. Okay, I like that. Jimmy: All girls do. Gretchen: Don't call me "all girls." Damn it. That's good, too. ♪ Don't look ahead There's stormy weather... ♪ Jimmy: You know, right before Becca broke up with me, I started reading her e-mail. Gretchen: Oh, I've done that. Jimmy: So even though I had warning, when she broke up with me, it kind of... just kind of knocked me out. Even though she's clearly a ridiculous human being, you know? Gretchen: Yeah. Break-ups hurt. I've heard. I don't really do relationships. Jimmy: Me, neither. Anymore. Gretchen: So, what, are you one of those creepy foot guys? Jimmy: No. I have nervous hands, and they have to stay busy. (moaning) Gretchen: Yeah, that's good. Oh, don't stop, you son of a bitch. Oh, yeah... (Jimmy spits) You just spit on it? Jimmy: Yeah. Gretchen: You just spit on my v*g1n*. Jimmy: So? Gretchen: Don't! Jimmy: Why? Gretchen: Why don't spit on my v*g1n*? Jimmy: It's saliva. It's gonna get there anyway. Gretchen: Hmm. And that's how I got crabs from my guidance counselor. (Gretchen chuckles) Jimmy (softly): Hey. Gretchen: Hey. Jimmy: Right. Uh, I should get some sleep, so... Gretchen: Right. Good night. Jimmy: Wait. What? Gretchen: Oh, relax. I'm just lazy. I'll sneak out in the morning. Jimmy: No, there are no sleepovers. Gretchen: Oh, too bad. Jimmy: I have sleep apnea. I have to wear a CPAP machine. Gretchen: Don't care. I'm a log. (CPAP machine beeps, whirrs) (Gretchen laughs) You look like Top Gun. Jimmy: Shut up. Gretchen: I'm so glad I'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning. (machine whirrs rhythmically) "Never leave your wingman." (both laugh) Jimmy: So stupid. (Jimmy sighs) Edgar: Good morning. So, I've been thinking about ghosts. Jimmy: Oh, the things that don't exist because there is no soul? Edgar: Mm... Jimmy: What a great use of your time. Edgar: You know my great-grandfather Baldemar on my father's side, right? Jimmy: What? No. How could I possibly know your great...? Edgar: Oh, he was this crazy adventurer guy who owned a ranch in Zihuatanejo, and he sold arms and was a matador. Jimmy: What was his name? Voldemort? Never mind. Edgar: The coolest guy. Because I was thinking, he sounds like he had it all worked out, and maybe if I could learn his secrets, then I could fix my problems. Jimmy: How would meeting your dead relative help you move out of my house? Edgar: No, I'm talking about my real problems. Like, the nightmares and the crying, and how I want to do heroin all the time. So, anyway, what do you think? Jimmy: What do I think about what? Edgar: If I should hold a seance to contact great-grandfather Baldemar. Jimmy: No. Edgar: I think I'm gonna do it. Thanks. Gretchen: Why did you let me sleep so late? I'm famished. Nice place. Edgar: Hi. I'm Edgar. Gretchen: Mmm. Gretchen. This is dynamite. Edgar: Oh, thanks. Gretchen: So, how do you guys know each other? Edgar: Uh, we met in college. Jimmy: No, we didn't. Edgar: Well, he was in college, and I sold weed to college kids. Then he started giving me books to read, 'cause he saw untapped potential in me. Jimmy: I gave you books that I stole from Borders because I didn't have money for weed. Edgar: Semantics. Have you read his book yet? Gretchen: No. Edgar: Sales were flatter than expected, plus he blew all his money on this house. That's why he has to do more magazine work, but you should read it. It's real good. Gretchen: Okay. Jimmy: At least buy your own copy. Gretchen (laughs): Right. So, which one of you is giving me a ride to work? Edgar: I can't drive because I have PTSD and mild to medium battlefield-induced psychosis. Gretchen: Bummer. Jimmy, you're up. Jimmy: My car's at the reception. We took a cab. Gretchen: We did? Damn. Lindsay: I can't believe it. Gretchen: Drive faster. I'm late. Lindsay: You slept with Jimmy. Gretchen: Apparently. Lindsay: Who used to date my sister. Gretchen: Yeah, I know. Lindsay: And on the night of her wedding? Gretchen: Why are you crawling up my ass about this, Lindsay? Lindsay: You know what a jerk he is. I told you all the time how he swallowed her up. She disappeared her life into his and was never the Same. Gretchen: Oh, that's 'cause Becca doesn't have a personality to begin with. Lindsay: Well, that's true. Ugh! Oh, Jimmy's the worst. Did he say anything about me? Gretchen: Nope. Lindsay: You're not gonna see him again, are you? Gretchen: No way. We did have fun, though. (Lindsay groans) Oh, God, I hope he doesn't think it was, like, an actual thing. Lindsay: No kidding. Um, get... Can you be careful where you're putting your makeup, and can you take your feet off the dashboard? This is a lease. Gretchen: Okay. (phone buzzing) Stop the car. Lindsay: What? Gretchen: Stop the car! I'd rather walk than drive in this sterile, suburban, piece of sh1t car with my best friend being shitty and judgmental to me 'cause I had s*x with a guy at a wedding. How many guys did you blow at our five-year reunion? Lindsay: Four. Gretchen: Four? You told me three. Lindsay: I might have left out Tor Borgfeldt. Gretchen: Ew! I'm seriously nauseated right now. Lindsay: Oh, God. We used to have so much fun. Gretchen: Yeah, we did. Why'd you have to get married? Lindsay: I know. I'm sorry. Do you like my new haircut? Gretchen: No, you look like Ellen Barkin. If you get your real estate license, I will stab you in the tits. Jimmy: Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. [SCENE_BREAK] Killian: Hi. Jimmy: What? Killian: I just moved in... over there. Jimmy: Of course you did. Killian: Why do you say that? Jimmy: Because the death of any interesting neighborhood is the influx of white procreators. Killian: Oh, that's cool. My nutritionist is gay, too. Jimmy: I'm not gay. I'm English. (Jimmy sighs) Killian: What's that? Jimmy: A royalty check for my book for... $17.43. Do you know, if there was any doubt that the book industry was dead, it is here in my hand. R.I.P., literature. 2000 BC to this moment. Killian: You want to hang out sometime? Jimmy: What? What are you even talking about? I'm an adult. Do you know what that means? It means that I am beset upon at all times by a tsunami of complex thoughts and struggles, unceasingly aware of my own mortality and able to contemplate the futility of everything and yet still rage against the dying of the light. So do you see how monumentally stupid you, a child, asking me "do I want to hang out sometime" is? Killian: My dad designs video games. We get all the new ones early. Jimmy: Come over around 8:00. ♪ As rumor has it still ♪ ♪ I followed the rules ♪ ♪ Of Frank Abagnale ♪ ♪ So catch me if you can ♪ ♪ There ain't people... ♪ Gretchen: What the crap?! Sam: You know I get nervous at these sh1ts. Gretchen: You are paying a guy to take your photograph, and you trash his studio? Sam: You weren't here! Unprofessional as sh1t! A publicist who can't show up at publicity events? Don't even know what I'm paying you for, Gretchen! Gretchen: The label pays me. Sam: You know it all gets charged against my end, bitch! Label is villains. From now on, I'm just gonna drop free mix tapes and Vines of my guinea pigs! Gretchen: You need to apologize to Nestor so he doesn't sue you. Sam: Let him. I'll lawyer the hell up! Gretchen: Nestor is a great photographer. We need him. Sam: Anyone's a good photographer now. Shitstain take amazing Instagrams. Shitstain: No filter. Honey Nutz: Yeah! @Shitstain! Sam: Anyway, bitch, this is your fault. You need to apologize to him for being such a no-showing-up bitch! ♪ Get down, get down ♪ ♪ Get down, get down ♪ ♪ Get down, get down ♪ ♪ Get down, get... ♪ Sam: We're sorry we broke your sh1t. Gretchen: Okay, good. Nestor, we'll talk about restitution? Hey. You okay? Sam: Yeah. Hell were you doing anyway? Gretchen: Nothing worth talking about. Sam: You still need to make it up to us. I'll fire your ass, and it won't mean sh1t to me. Gretchen: Yes, it will. Sam: I'm serious. You owe me, Gretch. Gretchen: Okay, Sam. What do you need? Sam: You need to kiss my quarter-Chickasaw ass! Then you need to get me some cocaine. I'm too famous to get it myself. I'm not playing. You on probation now. Yo! Ooh! Wait now. Hold on! High five. Put her there. She's hot. (door unlocks) Edgar: I got your car towed back here. And look who I found getting out of a cab. Gretchen: Don't worry. I forgot my purse. Not on purpose or anything. Edgar: I'm gonna leave you two alone. Gretchen: He's sweet. It's nice that you let him live here. Jimmy: You know your purse had food in it. It was covered in ants. Who keeps food in their purse? Gretchen: Whoa. What's your problem? Jimmy: Well, I've had a really shitty day. And then I come home to find that my bedroom is a goddamn '50s sci-fi movie. And why would you stay over, huh? That's amateur hour. Gretchen: Here I was worried you were gonna get the wrong idea about last night. So thank you for saving me the speech. Jimmy: You were gonna make a speech? Gretchen: Okay, forget it. Jimmy: Yeah, no kidding. Save your breath. Gretchen: I don't know what planet that you're from, but on my planet, someone like you does not just get... this! Congratulations, you bagged a weakened gazelle. That's right. I'm still stupid-hooked on someone else who is eons further than you in the evolutionary scale in all categories except maybe unearned ego and back fat. What? You so value honesty, you had to chew a bride out on her wedding day in the name of it? Well, why don't you face this giant hunk of truth, Jimmy? There is a fat asterisk next to my name on your skank-ridden little bone list and it reads, "She probably would've gone home with anyone that night!" So thank you! Thank you for my wake-up call, Jimmy Stupid-Three-Names. You are officially my bottom. Hey, you. Ty: Kiddo. What a surprise. Gretchen: I was just in the neighborhood. Ty: Uh, I have an early call time. But... Yeah, come in. Last time you said you were coming over, you never showed. I thought you'd grown sick of me. Gretchen: Nah, you're all right. Ty: You're so beautiful, Gretchen. (hip-hop music playing) Edgar: Hi. Killian: Hi. Edgar: You busy, Jimmy? Jimmy: Yep. Edgar: Well, could you, like, pause it for a second? Jimmy: No. What's wrong with you? Give me the controller. Edgar: No. I've watched you for two years now get girls to come home with you, and they're always gone in the morning. Jimmy: Sorry, I can help it if she refused to leave? Give me my controller. Edgar: No. Jimmy: Fine. (video game character screams) Edgar: I'm sorry I have to do this. Now, I don't mind you being jerky with me because I know you care. Jimmy: What the... No, I don't. Edgar: Yes, you do. Jimmy: You're just an animal living in my house. Edgar: But Gretchen stayed, okay? You say she forced you, but we both know there's not a person on this planet that's ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. She stayed, man. And that means something, whether you want to admit it or not. I'm gonna let you go now. Jimmy: Why would I even listen to you, eh? You're a mental case. You're on, like, a billion medications that all say "Take for batshit craziness." Edgar: I was defending our country. Jimmy: Oh, please. You weren't defending anything except for the business interests of evil men. Edgar: Jimmy, our country is the business interests of evil men. Jimmy: That may be the most intelligent thing you've ever said. Edgar: Thanks. Jimmy: You're still a goddamn lunatic. Edgar: Hey, wait. Come on, man. W-Wait. Where are you doing? Jimmy: To a bar, where I can drink in peace. Come on, Killian. All right, call the police. Edgar: On me? Jimmy: Someone's stolen my car. Edgar: No, Gretchen took it, remember? Jimmy: Gretchen took my... Sorry, Gretchen took my car? Edgar: Yeah. I saw her driving it away earlier. I figured you loaned it to her. Come to think of it, I did think that was kind of weird. Jimmy: She doesn't have a license! Edgar: Huh. She must've stolen your keys from the counter. You got to admit, that's kind of a baller move. (chuckles) Killian: You guys are fun. (grunting) Gretchen: Um, hey. Ty: Yes, Gretchen? Gretchen: Can we just take a little break? Ty (chuckles): Sure. (sighing) Gretchen: So... what's the worst thing you've ever done? Ty: Gretchen, you know ever since lndia I don't dwell on negativity. Gretchen: I set my high school on fire to get out of a math test. (chuckles) Ty: What? Why are you telling me that? That's horrible. Gretchen: Never mind. Kidding. (moans) Ty: Oh, you're a marvel. (pants) Ooh, that's terrific. Yeah. (Gretchen spits) Did you just spit on me? Gretchen: No. Yes. Sorry. Ty (chuckles): Oh, Gretch. Mmm. That's delicious. Gretchen: Do you still have cocaine? (sighs) (snorts) (phone rings) (exhales) (sniffs) Gretchen: Hello? Jimmy: What are you doing? Gretchen: Nothing. Just... (sniffs) reading. Jimmy: Hey, you won't believe this. Someone stole my car. Gretchen: Oh. God, that's... awful. Jimmy: Yeah, I have to file a police report in the morning. Gretchen: I may have borrowed it. Jimmy: I know. Gretchen: Oh. Well, sorry. I told you I'm the worst. Jimmy: Actually, no, you said that I was the worst and that I was lucky to get you. Gretchen: Yeah. About that... Jimmy: No, don't apologize. It was a great speech. It was funny and true and mean. My favorite kind. Gretchen: I set my school on fire to get out of a math test. (Jimmy laughs) Jimmy: That's genius. Oh, and... I... lied to you before. I do have a foot thing. Gretchen: Seriously? Jimmy: Yeah. In fact, I was just trying to find the right clip online to, you know... s-so that I could fall asleep. But... nothing's quite right. Gretchen: Oh. Do you want me to try? Jimmy: What? Gretchen: Shh. Let me think. Jimmy: Come on, this is stupid. Gretchen: Shut up. I have been walking around all day in these new shoes, and they are just so... hot and tight. Jimmy: Oh, yeah? Gretchen: And my socks are so... sweaty. Jimmy: That happens. Gretchen: I think I might just have to take them off. Jimmy: You do that. Hey, you're, uh... very nice for doing this. Gretchen: I am very nice. Jimmy... I'm scared of this sh1t, you know? I don't like it. Jimmy: I don't believe in it anymore, so... Gretchen: So if we both know that it can't work, then there's no harm. Right? Jimmy: Right. What kind of socks? Gretchen: Mmm... knee-high basketball socks. Orange and green stripes. Jimmy: You're amazing. You're 19 types of trouble but... amazing. Gretchen: Yeah, so are you. 19 types. Well, it's late. Did you finish? Jimmy: I think the moment's gone, isn't it? Gretchen: All right. Have a good night. Call me. Jimmy: I will.

Jimmy is thrown out of Becca and Vernon's wedding reception . He meets Gretchen, who is running off with one of the bride's gifts. Discovering that they feel the same about long-term love, the two hook up that night, vowing that they will never become a conventional couple. Usually Jimmy's conquests are gone by morning, but Gretchen stays and meets Edgar, who is cooking breakfast for Jimmy. Late for work, she gets a ride from Lindsay who is astonished she had sex with Jimmy. Gretchen gets annoyed with Lindsay and asks to be let out of the car. At work she finds that rapper Sam Dresden and his pals have wrecked a photographer's studio during a photo shoot. Sam blames her for being late and insists she find him some drugs to make up for it. She returns to Jimmy's house to get her purse and has an argument with Jimmy, which ends with her telling Jimmy the night was a mistake and he was lucky to get her. Later Edgar tells Jimmy that Gretchen must be special because she spent the night. Jimmy finds that Gretchen has taken his car, and calls her. Gretchen is at Ty Wyland's house to get drugs for Sam. She has found that Ty is not as attractive as he used to be. She and Jimmy talk and realize they want to see more of each other.

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[In a shop in New York City] Jenny: So you, you deliver the dresses and I take the accessories. Seller (showing ornaments of jewels): You have chosen which one? Jenny: Oh, no! I'm helping Blair. I am not invited, then we'll see. Seller (hooking him a bracelet on your wrist): See! In case. Jenny: Oh! Seller: We put it on the note of your friend. Jenny: Oh, uh no, no! Seller: The girls invited to the ball are our best customers. You will be our model of an evening and you will make us the bracelet after. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the room of Blair] Serena: Kati told me about custom corsets, crowns, wigs ... What is this madness? Blair: This is a masked ball. The goal is that nobody recognizes. But I expected a little something extra for Nate tonight! It's a game, a sort of treasure hunt. It will begin with an index, which will take him to a lady of honor, which will lead to a second index ... Serena: Wait, wait! You got the ladies? Blair: If he finds me before midnight, before the masks come off, the treasure is for him! Serena: And what is it? (Blair a mischievous smile) Oh! Well yes, I'm stupid. Sorry. Blair: You know, j'me myself that after all that happened, or rather all that is past, I had to do a little effort. Serena: I find it very romantic B. Really. And if you do not want me to come tonight I would understand ... Blair: Oh, but it will not! No! You can not not be there. In fact, I want you to give the last index. Will you be my maid of honor? Serena: What! You really want to be me? Blair: I see this event as a new beginning. J'te J'lui trust and have faith. Serena: Well, I'd be more than honored to serve you Majesty! Blair: Either way you go with Dan? [In the kitchen of Humphrey] Dan: A ball? Rufus (Jenny looking package all required): You knew that your sister's name was Cinderella? Dan: And I bet your charming half-sister is Blair Waldorf! Jenny: It's true that she asked me a few services but I'm glad to help. Rufus: And she has to thank you with a prompt and a dress? Jenny: I would have deserved. The ballroom, the costumes ... it's gonna be insane! It's weird that Serena you have not mentioned. Dan: But why? This is not because we went out twice together we are forced to remain glued to each other. Jenny: Well I must deliver it all. Let me know if you need a tuxedo! Dan (Rufus just looking at him): Well what! This is a masked ball, she must say that I will find it rather ridiculous, proving that she knows me pretty well. [In the room of Blair] Serena: I know! Wait, a masked ball! I know, I know he will find it completely ridiculous. You imagine a wolf and a tuxedo, frankly? Blair: We adore you! To go out with you would be able to do anything. Even wearing a dress my mother if it is. And then not worry, I'm sure he has nothing planned tonight. Who would ever think to invite this guy? Serena: You're disgusting! I know. In fact, it might be better if there's masks, as if it y'en high school who hates it and recognize them well. Blair: Come on, invites Dan Humphrey. That's an order! [In the kitchen of Humphrey] Dan: I did not say that I would not. Serena invites me if it would be rude not to give it my company. Rufus: It would be very cruel! Dan: But she did not invite me so ... Rufus: If you want to accompany him, what to do. Be a little daring. Dan: The festival takes place in a few hours. I have more time to really prepare myself for the idea of being bold. Rufus (Dan's cell phone ringing): This is Serena? Dan: Oh no, it's Vanessa! Rufus: Vanessa! Been a long time. You pick right? Dan: But if, of course I'll win. (On phone) Hello! Vanessa? Vanessa (on phone): Winner! It's me. Dan (on phone): So what's new? It's going to Vermont? Vanessa (on phone): You always have my book "The Crying of Lot 49"? Dan (on phone): Uh ... I know. Vanessa (on phone): Will you check? Dan (on phone): Uh ... right! It's been over a year that has not spoken, you make me an old book ads! [In Dan's room] Dan (on phone): I know where I belong. Vanessa: Look at the window! Dan: Vanessa! Vanessa: Surprise! Dan: Wow! But I can not believe it! Vanessa: How are you? Dan: I can not believe it's great. -What are you doing here? Vanessa: My parents let me live with my sister that I finish my studies here. Dan: So that means ... Vanessa: I came to stay. Dan: Wow! It is ... Vanessa: A great new hope? Dan: Oh yes! Wait it is! Yes, of course. It is still unexpected. This is unexpected news. (His phone rings) Oh! Vanessa: Go pick up. I'm starving and I can smell waffles. Rufus! Rufus: Vanessa! Vanessa: Surprise! [In the room of Dan / Blair's Bedroom] Dan (on phone): Serena! Are you okay? Serena (on phone): Hi! Are you okay? Uh ... Blair: Go go ahead. Serena (on phone): Uh ... I actually wanted to know if you had anything planned tonight? Dan (on phone): Uh ... Tonight? Nah, nah, nah, nothing. Why? Serena (on phone): Super because I have a night, finally you will surely find it completely sucks, but ... Dan (on phone): Always try. Vanessa: Even cooler, these waffles are screaming! The kitchen of Rufus failed me. It's true! Hey Rufus! You got whipped cream? Serena (on phone): Who was that? Dan (on phone): Uh ... It is my sister. What-you wanted to tell me? Jenny (arriving in Blair's room with an armful of bags): Hi, this is me! You want me to ask it where? Blair: It's good, you can put it all here. (Showing a small table) I left you a different list. Jenny (taking the list): Ah! Dan (on phone): Hello! There was someone? Serena (on phone): Excuse me, uh ... What? Dan (on phone): Uh, you were going to ask you something. Serena (on phone): No, uh ... no. Dan (on phone): Are you sure? Serena (on phone): No, forget it. Thank you. I must leave you. Dan (on phone): Oh, okay. Serena (on phone): Bye. Vanessa: Well, what do we do tonight? Serena: I need a partner! [SCENE_BREAK] [In entry of Archibald] Howard: Damn, Anne! I thought I said no starch. Anne Howard! It's been 19 years we're going in the same dyer. Your shirts are ironed as usual. You know it's not that get upset. Howard: What annoys me is that I want to be perfect for the evening Eleanor. I'm not allowed to make mistakes. Anne Eleanor knows that you are best placed to introduce his company public, it's you she will choose. Be yourself, it will be fine. Howard: Well, j't'appelle office, huh. I must reread the offer. Nate: Mom! Anne: Oh, Nate! Nate: Is that-Dad is in trouble? Anne: Tales of the work, not worry about that. Nate: Sure. [SCENE_BREAK] [On the streets of New York City] Vanessa: Wow! I love New York. Y'avait cinoch one 'and they went to Woodbury as films for kids: "Babysittor" one year showing. Dan: Well, Vin Diesel has to be funny after all. Vanessa: I can not make up my mind, there's too many things. I rather prefer that you choose. Dan (evasively): Yes, as you will. Vanessa: You, you do not want us to go to the movies? You were perhaps other projects like a wild s*x with all the rich kids of your private school waiting their inheritance wisely? Dan: Yeah, besides the limousine is waiting for me. Vanessa: Cool! We will tag the tires or even die! So, it makes you weird me being there? Dan: No, why? Why it would make me weird? Vanessa: Because. You told me some things when I'm gone. Dan: Things you immediately asked me to withdraw. Vanessa: Because j'quittais New York, but now I'm here. Dan: Yeah, except it's been over a year, you see. It's been a lot of things in a year. Vanessa: And I hope you'll tell me everything! Tonight? Last meeting? Angelica? Any chick that ... Vanessa & Dan: Unless sittor Baby! Dan: Okay, I'll book. Vanessa: It's cool to see you Humphrey! Dan: J'te do not say. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the office of Howard] Chuck: What is you're looking for exactly? Nate: Evidence. Chuck: What? An aversion that your father committed to starch? J'compatis to death, inherit the neck collar. You have asked about the money had disappeared? Nate: Yes, he told me he had made the transfer of accounts. The next day, everything was normal. Chuck: Then why you worry? Financial transactions a bit dodgy, parents who yell at ... this is our daily lot. (A packet of drugs from the book falls into the hands of Nate) Chi Chi breaks the coconut! I'm in shock! I thought that you did not use as tea. Nate: It's not for me. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of the Waldorf] Blair: Oh no, but that he takes what Dan Humphrey! Serena acted as if nothing had happened but j'vois although she drools. We need to find him someone. Kati: But we will not have time. Isabel: The best ones are already taken this evening. Blair: Stop you scroll! Serena deserves to get hotter. If he has other plans: he cancels them. If he has a girlfriend: it has dropped. And if it is at the other end of the world, chartered a private jet-it! Not disappoint me. Interior decorator: Ca you please? (Proposing a hookah) Eleanor: It is a wonder! Oh! Blair: Do-it was a bang, mom? Eleanor: Honey? Blair: I did not know you was addict! Eleanor: It's a, a hookah. And it is wonderful. It goes with the Moroccan theme of my evening! Blair: Why you transform our house into an opium den to celebrate your contract with Bendel? Eleanor: Why not? [SCENE_BREAK] [On the streets of New York City] Blair (on machine): Hi this is Blair! Sorry not to respond to you I'm getting ready for the masquerade ball! So this evening, if you recognize me, which I doubt. Ciao! Nate (on machine) Hi B. It's me. I, uh ... I really need to talk to you is, this is about my father and, uh ... We must, I wanted to talk to you then call me as soon as you have a second. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of the Waldorf] Jenny (laden with parcels): Uh, I think everything is there. Blair: Thank you're an angel. I do not know what I would have done without you. Jenny: Nah, it's nothing. I thought it was funny. Blair: Good! Besides that you learn things. (Seeing the bracelet Jenny) And you seem to learn fast: very pretty bracelet. Vintage, right? Diamonds seem true. Jenny: That's because they are. The head of the shop lent me. Blair: Why did he do this? (Jenny embarrassed) Oh my little Jenny! You do still not believe that you were coming tonight? Jenny: I was hoping for a bit, maybe ... Yeah. Blair: You know that the graders are not going to a masquerade, it is the rule. Jenny: Yeah I know but as I saw that there were five dresses ... Blair: Oh! This is the bare minimum. Think I do a stain or tear my dress! Jenny: Yeah, sure. I should remember. Have fun tonight! Blair: It's yes. And not be sad, your time will come, I promise! Well let j'te I must prepare myself. [SCENE_BREAK] [In Serena's room] Lily: Do you think Eleanor Waldorf will find this place enough folk? I have a doubt. Serena: Go with a goat! Eleanor hates us to do things by halves. Lily (seeing the ball dress of Serena): I feel that too. Serena: Wait, me about it! In Waldorf, the theme party is perpetuated from mother to daughter. Lily: You're not with Dan? Serena: Uh ... Nah. Dan is already taken tonight. Lily: But by what? Serena: The question is: by whom? Lily: Han, I had not realized. In fact, to be honest, it relieves me. At your age, do not deprive themselves of papilloner. Serena: You can talk about you! It is your rider sexy tonight? Lily: What? Nah, you're kidding. Who do you want me to go! I'm going to try this dress and see if I can find a goat. Edward (by mail) "Hi Serena! Kati Farkas gave me your email. " Serena (by mail): "Oh! Hello! Who are you? "(Looking at his profile) You're not Dan but never mind, it will do. [In the living room of Humphrey] Dan (answering machine): Hi Jenny! I have a great scoop for you: Vanessa returned to New York. We will s'faire a movie tonight, so I know not if you go to the ball or not but I wanted to know if you wanted to come. So uh ... I'm gonna book it. So, call me. Gossip Girl (his blog): "Calling all White Knights! Why friends of Serena Van Der Woodsen to find him a suitor? Fairy tales are they at this point out of fashion for the princesses are reduced to simply a replacement? I may be old fashioned, but to be a happy end, the knight must sometimes move your ass and seal his faithful steed! " [In Serena's room / In the living room of Humphrey] Edward (by mail): "So what do we do tonight? " Dan (tuxedos on site): It is perhaps time to be bold after all. Serena (by mail): "You have a mask? " [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of the suite of Van Der Woodsen] Serena (opening the door): Nate! Hello! -What are you doing here? J'croyais that you were, uh ... You're going to be late? Nate: I'm sorry to bother you, it's ... You got a minute? Serena: Yes, of course. Between. Nate: Thank you! Serena: Yes. (Nate having him tell it all) It may be an old remnant, something that dates back 80, a memory of a night at the Limelight and the Tunnel ... Our parents were more crap than us. Nate: This is recent. Yes, and I'm not surprised one second. I reckon my father to problems frica. Serena: You tried to tell him? Nate: Yeah. In fact that annoys me is that it makes me believe that all is well. Looks like my parents have signed a secret pact to act like robots. Serena: I do not think this is a secret pact if it. I think all our parents have signed it. Nate: It's okay, I'm more a kid. He let me stay away. Serena: Look, if what you believe is true, it probably should be scared. So it will take you to be a little more perseverance if you want it to really listen to you. (Nate annoyed) Hey, not give up! (Nate taking his hand) It's better that you go. I must prepare myself and all that. Nate: Yeah, uh ... I, too, and I thank you for listening. Serena: It's nothing. Yes, that's normal. Nate: Chuck wanted to test the merchandise and B. messaging was on so it was cool that you're here. Serena: At your service. See you tonight, okay? Nate: Okay. At any time! Ciao! [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of Humphrey] Vanessa: Hey! Is it-I can enter? Rufus: Oh, hello! You go out with Dan tonight? Vanessa: We're gonna get a movie. And you're going where? Humphrey in a suit and tie. Hmm, I smell a tryst but ... Rufus: But my wife left me. Vanessa: Yeah, but what-happens with Allison? Dan told me she was still in Hudson. J'croyais it was like for the summer. Rufus: J'le thought also. Vanessa: Oh, I see. We'll talk another time, it looks complex. Rufus: Where-I f*cked my keys? Vanessa: You do not need keys, the window of Dan this is simpler. Where he is anyway? Rufus: It will not be long in my opinion. So, uh ... Dan looked pleased to see you. Vanessa: Why? It surprises you? Rufus: Well, uh ... if I may, when you're gone, you've broken her heart. Vanessa: And bah I got home. I hated living away from New York, and away from Dan. Rufus: You told him? Vanessa: No, not yet. But I plan to tell her tonight, before or after the movie, I know not yet. I have found yet. It will not be obvious. Rufus: Yeah. Vanessa: Hmm ... (finding the keys to Rufus) Rufus: Oh! Thank you! Uh ... You know it, uh ... he spent a lot of things in your absence. Vanessa: Yes, that's what Dan said. Rufus: But you've always been close. I'm sure it'll get. Vanessa: Wish me luck! Rufus: You too! Vanessa: So where are you going dressed like that? Rufus: Oh, it's just a party. Vanessa: With a friend? Rufus: Uh ... It's not quite the word I would use. See you later! Vanessa (his phone rings) Hello! Dan (on phone): Hey, where is this-that you're in? Vanessa (on phone): I'm with you. Dan (on phone): Oh! Oh, you're ahead. Vanessa (on phone): Yes, j'pouvais not wait. Dan (on phone): Uh ... I tried to reach you before you go, I want a lot. Vanessa (on phone): Because I'm ahead? Dan (on phone): Nah, because, um ... I, I completely forgot that I had an essay to do for Monday so I'll work all night, but, but I rattraperais. Promised, swore! Vanessa (on phone): With Pierogi? Dan (on phone): J't'appelle tomorrow. Vanessa: Jenny! Hello! Jenny: Hi! (Starting in his room) Vanessa: Jenny, what does that matter? [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of the Waldorf] Rufus (arriving with Lily): Remind me why I must see it as a favor! Lily: Rufus! Look around you. Since when you did not attend the greatest figures of our world? Enjoy it to make you understand, to revive your career faltering, for your little gallery became a place in disaster. Rufus: Han, you've become the patron saint of former rock stars! Lily: Oh yeah? You were a star? Listen, go away if you want, j't'assure. Allison would probably furious to know that you come with me this evening, even if it's in your best interest. Rufus: J'me care what Allison thinks. Lily: So much the better! I'll introduce you to our hostess. Eleanor! Eleanor: Ah! Lily: This is divine! Really, it's like to Marrakech. Eleanor: Oh Lily! Nan but what a surprise! I did not know if you would be in good company. Lily: Oh! Eleanor: Is not he cute! Rufus: I'm not ... Lily: It's Rufus Humphrey. Eleanor: It is a pleasure. Rufus: Enchanted. Lily: That's good couscous that I see there? Eleanor: Yes, help yourself! Bart (accompanied by Carissa): Hi Eleanor! Eleanor: How are you? Miss Magic! Lily: Wow! Rufus: Have you seen anything? Lily: No, it's nothing. I love her dress. Bart: Lily! Lily Bart! Bart: Good evening! Rufus: Hi! Bart: Uh, I present to you Carissa. Carissa: Yes, enchanted. Carissa! (Reaching for Lily) Lily (the greeting): Hi! Rufus: Rufus! (Shaking hands) Carissa: Magic! Bart: Well, well, glad to have seen you. Lily: Yes, me too. Bart: Good evening. Lily: You too. Carissa: Good evening! Rufus: You and Bart Bass? Ah, j'comprends better! This is to make him jealous that you invited me? Lily Han, j't'en please! This is ridiculous. Rufus: You know I find it pretty quite flattering actually. But you could have found better than me. Lily: Not in so little time. Howard: Eleanor! Salamalikum! Eleanor: Oh! Howard: How are you? This evening is fantastic! Eleanor: Thank you, you're an angel. [SCENE_BREAK] [In Jenny's room] Vanessa: So basically, this girl makes you a slave? Jenny: Nan, her maid instead. Vanessa: That's what Jane Austen called slaves. Jenny: At the same time she ever said that I would go to the ball. I render him service or not. Vanessa: Hin, hin! Do not try to find excuses, after all you did you deserve to go! Jenny: J'croyais that you found the masked balls totally cheesy! Vanessa: This is only my opinion. But if you really want to go, it's not that girl that will prevent you. Jenny: Nothing to it, I mean, I even have a dress! Vanessa: I have a friend who works as a costume designer at BAM, we will pay it. What else? Jenny: I have no invitation. Vanessa: We go through the door. What else? Jenny: If Blair sees me she'll be furious! Vanessa: So this is a chance that you wear a mask. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the ballroom masked] Gossip Girl: With us on the side of the Upper East Side, appearances can be deceiving. Keep your eyes open and beware of familiar faces! [Before the ballroom masked] Jack: Welcome! It is here or there? Dan: Well, that's where the lights and zigzag over there it's cars, it avoids them better. Wait, you will see clearer without this stuff! (Him touching his mask) Jack: Yeah, it's not stupid. Dan: Hi! Hey, what's your name? Jack: Jack Hartmann! Dan: Hi Jack Hartmann! I went out into the air. Vigil of the ball: Oh, okay. (She opened the gate) Dan: Thank you! [In the entrance to the masked ball] Vanessa (doing so will pass quietly by the back door): Thank you! (Looking at holding Jenny) Well, let me see. Jenny: Look, I know that you disapprove of worldliness to death these rich kids and all, but ... Vanessa: I'll reprogrammerais any hour. (Taking the mini-bag and giving it a Jenny fan) That I care, it's hideous. Go, go! Vanessa: Han, thank you! [In the ballroom masked] Blair: We'll start the party girls. Gossip Girl (Serena dancing with Edward):-What did I tell you about appearances? Oh yes, they could be misleading! Dan: Oh! Gossip Girl: But mostly, we do believe that what we see. [In the entrance to the masked ball] Vanessa: Hey! You would not see my girlfriend? It was me who his bag and I have his key shot. (A guy the ball making him "no" to the head) [In the ballroom masked] Blair: Nah, but what does that makes Nate? He should have found Kati & Isa '! It's late and I cooled! Chuck: You're stunning beauty. If I was ya man, I would not need clues to find you. Blair: That I doubt it for a second. Chuck (watching Jenny): Who is this chick? Blair: Probably the kind that embeds the tape. Chuck: This is the kind I like. Blair: Forget it! Nate go get and put it in the right direction. Chuck: All in good time. (Starting to see Jenny) Blair: Han! Chuck: Hi dear angel! You must be my lucky charm. (Seeing her wrist) And I have a lucky charm that has taste. Jenny: It seems not, since I speak with you! Chuck: Beautiful and cruel. Everything I love. You could dance with a poor devil? Jenny: We could burn this step and find a quiet corner. Chuck: I'll take out the champagne. Jenny: And I the quiet corner. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the living room of the Waldorf] Howard: Introduce your company public is a huge responsibility and it is better to rely on his first impression. It is even you who taught me, Eleanor! Eleanor: You know I adore you, this is not the problem. But you have no experience in this field. I met with counselors in Calvin and I must admit that I found remarkable presentation. Anne: Enough about business, you are bored our hostess. I thought of one thing when your daughter is fiancera with Nate, I would offer him the ring of my great-grandmother. Eleanor: The Van Der Bilt in that person had given him! (Looking at the ring) Han! Rufus (LED watch Lily Bart): You keep the spy! Lily: But I not spy, I just wish that's all informed. Rufus: So long as thou hast seen it, it will have the advantage. If you want to make a man jealous, there's only one thing to do. Lily: Rufus, I had invited you here for full of reasons but not for your talent ... advisors conjugate (Rufus kissing) It was rather unexpected. Rufus: J'lui gives 20 minutes. Rufus & Lily: I need a drink! [SCENE_BREAK] [In the ballroom masked] Edward: So now, every time we see their yacht, you are obliged to operate the fog horns until they leave. Serena: Wow! Edward: In the long run, it's almost a trick to disgust you to spend the summers in Newport, I assure you! Serena: Ah bah yes, it looks, uh ... horrible! Edward: It has the. Serena: Uh, listen, will you apologize? I, I guess it's better than ... Dan: What you change your partner! Hello! Serena: Dan! -What are you doing here? Dan: I just help you. Serena: I do not need to be rescued. Dan: Oh yes! Yet watching you, I vaguely felt that you were passing a tough time! Serena: Dan! Nate: Yes? Kati: B. sends us. Isabel: It's late and she is tired of waiting for you. Kati: The maid of honor is far less than you think. The fairy of pink feathers and black, it is she who will guide you. Hmm, that's it! Isabel: It's me! Nate: What? Uh, sorry? Kati: You got to find Serena, she has the final index. Nate: Serena, yes. Chuck: Boo! Jenny: Let's play? Chuck: I'd do a good strip poker but I forgot my cards. Jenny: J'préfèrerais a game of hide and seek. You hide, I search. Chuck: And how will you find me? I have no stones to cast. Jenny: Well, you can always help me by spreading your clothes. Chuck: I must surely be dreaming. A guy from the ball (to Vanessa): It's going to you? (From Vanessa) Dan: Hey Serena! If you-like-. Serena: Why did you get Dan? Dan: Why did I come! I ran through the town, I rented a tuxedo, I stole this mask to a poor guy that was even able to stand ... I have to get tricky here, all because I want to you. Serena: It's not the impression I had this morning when you've lied about this girl! Dan: What? Wait, wait, I, I have not, well ... in fact so. Serena: Yeah. Dan: I lied but I can explain. Serena: Go ahead, but apply yourself. Dan: Well I was with my friend Vanessa. We were very close, she moved here last year and she has just returned. Serena: So, why is it that you told me that it was Jenny? Dan: Because I'm stupid! I do not know, I know why. Vanessa and I were there ..., there are reports that are a bit complicated. Finally, who were. And then I met you, you. To be honest, somewhere, I was secretly hoping you would ask me this stupid masquerade. Serena: Well, I planned to invite you. Dan: Yeah? You're telling me that you will not marry this pretentious snob? Serena: You're telling me that between you and Vanessa it's over? Dan: That's exactly what I say. Gossip Girl: Oh yes! It is by far my favorite part of the ball! When the masks come off and the truth comes out for all to see. (Vanessa attends the scene) Dan: You'll excuse me? This is the last person I expected to see here. Serena: Yes, how not to follow! Dan: Excuse me! Vanessa, Vanessa! Hey! I was not expecting to see you here. Vanessa: It's funny, I was gonna say the same thing. Dan: What, are you doing here? Vanessa: J'travaille on my dissert 'for Monday. Oh, oh no, it's you! J'confonds. Since when we lie to each other? Dan: Nah, that's not it. I simply failed to tell you the truth. Which is a lie even worse than the other makes. Vanessa: Humphrey! Dan: I did not understand either. I am a little confused. And what-you wanted me to say? I went to go rent a tuxedo at a masquerade ball when I had neither masks nor invitation, all that to go find a girl that she had a mask, an invitation, and a jumper! Vanessa: It would have been honest. Dan: You hate this environment! Vanessa: You too. Finally, this is what I thought. Dan: I do not understand, uh ... we need you to explain. You've followed so far to prove that I am a liar? Vanessa: Yes, Dan! That's why I'm here. I've tracked down so far because I am completely obsessed with you, and then there is this time that's why I came back to New York because I was just thinking about you day and night ! Dan: OK, I understand, you can stop. Vanessa: It's going, do not worry, j'me breaks. Hello! Dan: Wait, wait! If you-like-, wait! Listen, I want. I want to have you lied about tonight. Vanessa: You said you loved me. Dan: That's, that was before you leave. I was a prepubescent teen when I told you that. Since there are many things that have changed. Vanessa: I see it! You do not do things by half, anyway. (Hence) Serena: So that's ... Dan: Vanessa, yeah. It is ... Serena: Super nice. Dan: I gotta go, excuse me! [On the roof of the ballroom masked] Chuck: You heaters! I'm getting closer. Jenny: I found your pants! Chuck: Then you burned. I'll eventually catch fire me if you continue like that. Jenny: Do not worry, you will not be long before you cool! Chuck: Yeah? -What do you mean by that? (Jenny key to closing the door) Hey what the hell was that! Hey! My laptop is in my fute! I'm stuck here poor idiot. [Before the ballroom masked] Dan: Vanessa! Vanessa, wait-if you please! But why not wait for me, huh? (Calling out a girl like Vanessa) Oh! Because you are not Vanessa, sorry. I'm sorry, simple mistaken identity. Congratulations Dan! She even wears no mask. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the entrance of Waldorf] Rufus: Lily! You were hiding there. Lily: I needed to isolate myself a little in view of what ... Rufus: The kiss. Lily: Yes. How to say, j'me sense ... Rufus: Nostalgic. Lily: nauseous. Rufus: Okay. Whew! Lily: Nan, j'te Charie. Whatever, I'm sorry but I have Rufus, then I would perhaps not have to invite you here. Rufus: I see, uh ... As for me I'm sorry to have kissed but I did it out of devotion for that idiot playboy realizes how much you're more attractive than his pretty young conquest. The freshness of youth passes, whatever I have to admit that you escape completely to this rule. Ultimately, he would bite his fingers. And I thought he deserved to know what it is losing you. I know how hard it is. Lily (seeing approaching Bart): I think it worked. Bart: Lily, I can talk to you a moment? If you let it. Rufus (seeing Lily and Bart away): Wow! Do not thank me. Bart: What is happening Lily? Why do not you say anything? This is serious ... Lily: It does not concern you. Bart: I will bring you back, come with me. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the women's toilet masquerade] Serena: Jenny? Hello! Jenny: Serena! Uh ... You've not seen, right? Serena: Yes, do not worry about that. There are lots of things I'll try to remember to have seen tonight. Jenny: It's not going to air. Serena: I do not know. Dan gave me a surprise coming. Jenny: Ah bah it's great! Serena: Yes, except that I was even more surprised when I saw him run after a girl named Vanessa. Jenny: Nah, it's her best friend! Serena: Yes, bah it looks to be a bit more than that. Tell me there was something between them? Jenny: I reckon. Finally, yeah. But Dan never liked a girl like he loves you. The proof: he came to a masked ball. I reckon he would be willing to go anywhere with you. Except perhaps to "Holiday on Ice" is one of her worst childhood memories! Serena: You know, I guess I should go find him. Except that it will not be easy to find someone with that stupid mask that is not in place. Jenny: I Want you spin well but mine is better that I stay hidden if I want out of here incognito. Serena: We exchange if you want? Jenny: Okay. Serena: Thank you. Oh! (Giving him his vest) And I want you file it. It's so hot here, and you risk being cold if you go out, like. You've had fun tonight? Jenny: It could not be better! Serena: Great! Jenny (standing out hair): Okay! Serena (handing him the hair in place): Wait! Jenny: Thank you. Serena: Very nice. [In the ballroom masked] Nate: Serena says nothing in particular, let me explain. Jenny: Oh sh1t! Nate: Look, I tried to reason with me, but I can not. I know that every two to Blair but still I'm gonna have to tell him the truth. I only think of you. I tried to forget you but I am unable. If you do not stop me I'll kiss you. Serena: Nate! Nate (Jenny escaping): But ... Serena: But what-are you doing? Should you find Blair. Well, never mind we drop clues, she wears thigh boots and a large golden tiara. Go go! Hurry. Blair: Serena, do-Have you seen Nate? (Jenny escaping from his grip) Hey! (Grabbing the wrist of Jenny) Everyone: 5,4,3 ... Blair: Jenny. Everyone: 2.1 ... Kati & Isabel: It's midnight! The mask off! Dan: Serena! (Jenny escaping) Serena, Serena! Wait, wait! I'm sorry, Sere ... [Before the ballroom masked] Chuck: Little Jenny Humphrey was able to put my ass in the air without my taking the fun! I must say it is an achievement. Blair: Fortunately another s*x maniac came on the roof, otherwise you'll always be there. And no, I do not know what you did to have this Tuxedo. Come on, I go. Nate: Hi Chuck! See you tomorrow. Blair: Hin, hin! You did not find before midnight, the evening ends there for you. Nate: Look, I'm, I'm sorry. Blair: All I wanted was that reparte zero. And you have not even tried. A guy from the ball (with Kati & Isabel): It's going girls? Chuck: Well at least there is one who spends a good evening. Serena (on phone): Hello! Dan (on phone): Serena! Do-you can at least tell me if-you-please? Why did you run away like that? Serena (on phone):-What are you talking about? It is you who have fled. Dan (on phone): Uh, I think not. A beautiful blonde with a yellow dress and a fur vest, there is one and Serena Van Der Woodsen. Serena: Nah, not tonight. Dan: Well, for information you must know that I like you. You and only you. Serena: And well it's cool because I feel the same. Dan: That's settled. Serena: Well ... It seems that "Holiday on Ice" It will stop in New York. Dan: Oh! If you want to go, so I want to go. [SCENE_BREAK] [In the office of Howard] Nate: Hey! You are still standing! Howard: We are celebrating something. Anne Eleanor Waldorf has accepted the company of your father takes care of its IPO. Nate: Great! It's a new superb. Anne: Yes, indeed. So I went to get something to open this bottle were kept for a special occasion. (Showing the bag of drugs) And that's how I found this. So what? Can you tell me what's it doing there? Nate: How so? Anne: Well, it's not me, it's not your father either. And since we are only three in this house ... [SCENE_BREAK] [In Jenny's room] Dan: Hey! We do not sleep? Jenny: I'm not tired. Dan: Oh! I'm completely exhausted. You know I went to the ball after all! Jenny: Oh, really? Dan: Yeah. Jenny: Your evening is complete. There's someone for you. [In Dan's room] Vanessa: A pierogi? I came in peace. Dan: So much the better because I'm starving. Listen, ... Vanessa: Forget Humphrey! Do not pretend to be embarrassed, you look not. Anyway, it is I who owe you an apology. Dan: Nope not at all, it's me. I should tell you about Serena. Vanessa: I should have been more curious. Dan: And I should not have to lie to you tonight. Vanessa: And I should not have run away so fast. Well, if you want us to be friends as before, we will have to rule certain things. Dan: You're right. It made me miss having a girlfriend. Vanessa: And I missed it to be one. Trying to focus on the essentials. Dan: Like what? Less bullshit and more pierogi? Vanessa: And you make me a summary of everything I missed. Serena kind ... Dan: It's good! It is almost as fabulous as these pierogi! The only concern is that she has a mother, you see a little goofy, which I do not gifts. And then there's also her best friend with whom I have great difficulty, but so much evil. But the worst is when there's the boyfriend of her best friend, well then it gets complicated. Because they went out together ... Vanessa: Oh yeah? Dan: Actually, he was in love with her best friend too ...

Dan is torn between two girls when his childhood friend, Vanessa, returns home and declares her feelings for him, just as he and Serena are trying to figure out what they mean to each other. At the infamous masked ball, Blair sends Nate on a scavenger hunt, but Nate is ultimately still distracted by his feelings for Serena. Although Blair makes it perfectly clear that outsiders are not welcome, a disguised Jenny and Dan sneak into the ball. Finally, Lily asks Rufus to accompany her to an Eleanor Waldorf event in order to make Bart Bass jealous. Note: This is Jessica Szohr's first appearance as Vanessa Abrams.

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THE REIGN OF TERROR by DENNIS SPOONER first broadcast - 5th September, 1964 [SCENE_BREAK] 1. CHURCH CRYPT (IAN looks around and moves inside. A figure appears from the shadows behind him; IAN turns.) IAN: Leon? LEON: Yes. You must be Ian. IAN: That's right. LEON: Are you alone? IAN: Yes. Jules said you might be able to help. (IAN hear sounds behind him, and turns to find two SOLDIERS behind him. They are both aiming muskets at his chest.) IAN: Soldiers! (He turns back to face LEON. The Frenchman has drawn a pair of ornate pistols, and also points them at IAN.) LEON: Yes, I know. You walked right into my trap, didn't you, Ian? [SCENE_BREAK] 2. PARIS SQUARE (The episode credits are shown over a representation of a square in Paris. Sounds of cheering crowds are heard as the guillotine falls and claims yet another victim.) [SCENE_BREAK] 3. CHURCH CRYPT LEON: You can put all ideas of escape out of your head. And as for your rescue - well no-one will come here, you can take my word for that. IAN: If I don't go back, Jules is going to get suspicious. LEON: By the time that happens, my friend, we shall have left. And afterwards we'll take care of him. (LEON clicks his fingers, and the SOLDIERS grab him and drag him against a pillar with iron rings set into it. They secure his wrists with heavy chains, which they attach to the rings. IAN struggles as they do so.) IAN: You never know who your friends are! LEON: My association with Jules was bound to come to an end. He already suspected that... a traitor, if you want to use those words, was working in the organisation. But it's no matter. We're ready now to close in on him too. IAN: So what do you want with me? LEON: Information. (IAN scoffs.) LEON: You will cooperate, Ian. Think about it. We have plenty of time. (He stares at IAN for a moment, then turns and exits, leaving the two SOLDIERS to guard the prisoner. One talks to IAN.) SOLDIER: He's giving you time to consider. IAN: I don't need time, I have no information. SOLDIER: We'll decide that when you talk. And you'll talk, you'll talk! (He flashes IAN an evil smile.) [SCENE_BREAK] 4. LEMAITRE'S OFFICE (BARBARA and the DOCTOR have just been reunited.) BARBARA: Oh, Doctor, I thought we were never going to see you again! DOCTOR: You should know by now, young lady, that you can't get rid of the old Doctor as easily as that. (They both chuckle.) [SCENE_BREAK] 5. CORRIDOR (Just outside the office, LEMAITRE is listening through the door to every word of the conversation.) BARBARA: (OOV.) Tell me, how did you get out of that burning farmhouse? DOCTOR: (OOV.) Oh, never mind about that now. [SCENE_BREAK] 6. LEMAITRE'S OFFICE DOCTOR: What happened? Where's Susan? How is she? BARBARA: She's here. We were arrested together. DOCTOR: She's here? BARBARA: Yes. DOCTOR: Is she well? BARBARA: Yes, she's fine. She had a slight fever, but she's recovered now. DOCTOR: Good. Well now, we must find Chesterton and try and get back to the ship. BARBARA: Oh, I know where he is! DOCTOR: Mm? BARBARA: I know where he is. DOCTOR: Oh yes? BARBARA: We were all in hiding at a house owned by a Jules Renan... [SCENE_BREAK] 7. CORRIDOR (LEMAITRE still listens intently. He notices the JAILER waddling down the corridor towards him, and turns to face him. He speaks to the JAILER in a hushed voice.) LEMAITRE: Not now, Jailer! JAILER: But Citizen... LEMAITRE: Later! JAILER: But... LEMAITRE: I said, not now! JAILER: I've just had a message from the First Deputy, Citizen! (LEMAITRE moves away from the door.) LEMAITRE: Well, what is it? JAILER: Robespierre says 'e wants to see you immediately. It's a matter of the utmost importance. Robespierre said immediately, Citizen. LEMAITRE: Yes, yes. (He turns to leave, exasperated.) LEMAITRE: Has the young girl been locked away? JAILER: She has. I saw to it myself, just as you ordered, Citizen. LEMAITRE: Good. She shall remain in her cell, do you understand? Under no circumstances is the door to be opened. JAILER: Just as you say, Citizen. LEMAITRE: And if that order is disobeyed... I'll have you guillotined. (He exits, leaving a very worried looking JAILER behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 8. LEMAITRE'S OFFICE (The DOCTOR has just had a brain wave.) DOCTOR: Yes, that's it! That's it! (BARBARA is not listening.) BARBARA: Oh, I should never have taken Susan to see that physician. DOCTOR: Oh, don't blame yourself, Barbara. As it happens, everything has turned out very well. Might have taken us ages to find each other. BARBARA: Do you think we stand a chance of getting out of here? DOCTOR: Well, my voice seems to carry some weight, hm? BARBARA: Yes, well I'm not surprised in that get-up. (The DOCTOR preens himself.) DOCTOR: Yes, it's rather impressive, isn't it? Now, listen. I'm going through that door. Give me a few minutes, then I want you to go through the door and straight out of the prison. BARBARA: Are you serious? DOCTOR: Absolutely serious, but I've no time to explain. Just do as you're asked. BARBARA: What about Susan? DOCTOR: Well, I'll look after her and follow you later. BARBARA: But Doctor, you... DOCTOR: Now now now, there's no buts, don't argue. You know my plans always work perfectly. Hm? (BARBARA decides against making the obvious comment.) DOCTOR: In a few minutes, then. (He leaves, closing the door firmly behind him.) [SCENE_BREAK] 9. JAILER'S ALCOVE (The DOCTOR enters to see the JAILER sitting at his desk.) DOCTOR: Ah, tell me. Is Lemaitre here? JAILER: He's, uh, left to see Citizen Robespierre. DOCTOR: Oh dear dear dear, how irritating, and I did want him so urgently. JAILER: Well, I'm sure he'll be back shortly, Citizen. DOCTOR: No no no, this matter can't wait, it's urgent! I've just been interrogating that young woman, and I'm convinced she's a member of that dangerous Traitor's Party. JAILER: Oh, I see, I see. DOCTOR: And do you know, she could tell us the names of every traitor in this country! (The JAILER believes every word.) JAILER: Perhaps we should make her talk? DOCTOR: No, no chance of that. No, she'd rather die first than betray her friends. No, I think, if there's only some way of using her... if only we could get, through her, to her friends... (He waits expectantly for the JAILER to have a brain wave.) JAILER: Perhaps... DOCTOR: Mm? JAILER: Perhaps... DOCTOR: Perhaps what? JAILER: Well, if she were to escape, she could be followed. She'd meet these traitors, then we'd arrest them. Lemaitre once did this. DOCTOR: My dear, what an excellent idea! What an excellent idea! Yes, of course, now why didn't I think of that? Yes, that's what we'll do, and Lemaitre will be delighted! Now look here, Mr Jailer, I want you to open those prison doors, keep out of sight. JAILER: Oh, but er... DOCTOR: Tch, tch, tch, no buts, no! And sooner or later, that young woman will come through those doors and we can grab her! Go along, quickly! (He sends the JAILER off to the prison doors, then disappears down to the cells, a satisfied grin on his face.) [SCENE_BREAK] 10. RENAN'S SITTING ROOM (JULES enters and looks around frantically.) JULES: Ian, Barbara, Susan? Ian? Ian? (He calls upstairs and looks around.) [SCENE_BREAK] 11. CHURCH CRYPT (IAN rattles his wrist chains. The SOLDIER standing by him laughs.) SOLDIER: Getting impatient, are we? That's a good sign. Citizen Colbert really knows how to make pigs like you talk. He leaves 'em alone, makes them think. Now me, I have other ways. (He raises the butt of his musket, ready to hit IAN in the face, but is interrupted by a call from the entrance to the crypt.) LEON: Stop that!... I'm sorry - I'm afraid my men are very bad-tempered. Ian, I don't want anything to happen to you really, but I think you have the information that will help the cause I believe in. IAN: You're wasting your time with me. I'm very small fry. LEON: Surely you don't expect me to believe that? Well, we learned of the existence of James Stirling two months ago. We've been searching for him ever since. IAN: We? LEON: Yes. I've been loyal to the Revolution from the beginning. If you'd known what France was like six years ago, before the Bastille, you'd understand. IAN: I do understand, but I can't help you. LEON: Or you won't! France will never be anything until we're rid of these high-born leeches who've been sucking the life-blood of France for so long. IAN: You must believe me, I can help you in no way... LEON: Ian! You can save yourself a lot of trouble and suffering by talking. This is your only chance! Do you realise that when I've finished with you I'll transfer you to the prison, and then the guillotine? Now if you were to talk, I have the power to set you free! IAN: Jules must have told you all I know. LEON: Ah yes, what did Jules say? That Webster gave you a message to give to Stirling. IAN: Yes, that's right. Only I can't recognise Stirling - that's why I'm here. LEON: Oh, that I accept. But you must have known of their organisation. You were in it with Webster! He would never have trusted you otherwise. Now. Who sent you from England? How did you get here, and who helped you? IAN: (Sighs.) What's the use? LEON: I really don't understand what you hope to gain! If I don't get the information from you, I shall find it elsewhere! Now be sensible. Save yourself from the guillotine. IAN: You wouldn't believe my story anyway. LEON: Suppose you let me be the judge of that. How did you get to France? IAN: You really want to know, eh? LEON: The truth? IAN: Oh yes, it's the truth all right. LEON: You swear it? IAN: Yes, I swear it! I flew here with three friends in a small box. When I left England it was 1963. (LEON steps back, furious, and signals to the nearer SOLDIER, who strides forward, musket and bayonet pointed towards IAN. IAN braces himself for the blow, then hears a yell from the entrance.) JULES: All right, Leon! Release him! (JULES is standing in the entrance, a pistol pointed at LEON's back. The second SOLDIER swings his musket around, but JULES is faster and shoots him dead. LEON reaches for his pistols, but JULES hurls his now spent weapon at LEON's face. LEON falls back with a cry, dropping his guns. The SOLDIER by IAN has cocked his musket and swings it round to aim at the now unarmed JULES. IAN gathers his strength, hauls himself up by his wrist chains, and kicks the SOLDIER on the side of the head - he falls. LEON recovers and grabs his pistols; IAN shouts a warning.) IAN: Jules! (JULES grabs the falling SOLDIER whom IAN has just kicked, and hold him up as a shield, just as LEON fired. The two bullets ring out simultaneously, and both hit the SOLDIER. As JULES drops the lifeless body, LEON steps back towards the discarded musket. JULES watches as he steps nearer, then casually reaches into his coat and draws a second pistol.) JULES: You traitor! It's you who's the enemy of the people! (LEON makes a desperate lunge for the musket, but JULES fires first. LEON collapses, dead. JULES turns to free IAN.) IAN: I thought I was going mad when I saw you here! Why did you come? JULES: Bad news for you. IAN: Oh? JULES: Barbara and Susan were arrested at the physician. (JULES fiddles with the iron rings, and IAN pulls his wrists clear.) IAN: Yes, I feared that as soon as Leon turned up here. We must get to them. JULES: I think it's best to go back to my hide-out. IAN: What? The soldiers will be there already! JULES: Well, if I know Leon, he will have wanted the satisfaction of arresting me himself. And anyway, we'll just have to risk it. Come on. [SCENE_BREAK] 12. CELLS (SUSAN is sitting on a wooden bed board. She hears a tapping at the cell door, and looks through the bars. She can make out a figure dressed in official uniform.) SUSAN: What is it? What d'you want? DOCTOR: Susan, Susan, it... it's me, child! Me! (SUSAN rushes to the door.) SUSAN: Oh, grandfather! Oh grandfather, you've found us! Well how'd you get away from the farmhouse? DOCTOR: Oh, I can't explain that now, child, it'd take too long. SUSAN: Oh, Barbara's here somewhere. DOCTOR: Yes, well I've taken care of that. She should be out of the prison and well on her way now. And I... (He stops and listens. Faint footsteps are approaching.) DOCTOR: Sh! There's someone coming! Quiet! See you later. Sh! SUSAN: Be careful! DOCTOR: Sh! (He leaves in a hurry.) [SCENE_BREAK] 13.JAILER'S ALCOVE (The DOCTOR bumps into the JAILER, who reacts with a shock.) JAILER: But Citizen! DOCTOR: Mm? JAILER: Didn't you collect the soldiers and follow the released prisoner? DOCTOR: Me? Certainly not! JAILER: But... whatever... why not? DOCTOR: But I was under the impression, my dear man, that you were doing so! I'm hardly dressed in the proper clothes to go skulking after people, now am I? JAILER: I couldn't have gone! I can't leave the prison! DOCTOR: Well why didn't you say that in the first place? Well, did you? JAILER: No, Citizen. DOCTOR: No, and what do you think Lemaitre will say? He's bound to want to know whose idea it was. (The JAILER hangs his head in misery.) JAILER: It was mine. Citizen, you must help me! DOCTOR: I'll try. Now don't worry, I'll cover up for you. But you know, I have a feeling that this young girl is tied up in this somehow. Now I think if we let her go, I personally could follow, and then arrest all of them! All I need from you is the key to that child's cell. JAILER: Citizen, Lemaitre was very clear with his instructions. If that door is opened, I lose my head. That's what, what Lemaitre said just before he left, that's what he said! DOCTOR: Lemaitre, Lemaitre! Why can't you use your own initiative, my man, hm? JAILER: Aye, well you must see him when he returns, Citizen. I'm just a humble servant. If his orders are countermanded, well then... DOCTOR: I demand you open that door! (The JAILER is almost panicking, but stands firm.) JAILER: To lose one prisoner is bad enough, to lose two would be the end of me! Especially after my orders. Lemaitre will be returning soon. We'll do as he says - until then, that door remains closed. [SCENE_BREAK] 14. ROBESPIERRE'S OFFICE (ROBESPIERRE paces nervously up and down. He sees LEMAITRE arrive in the ante chamber.) ROBESPIERRE: Ah good, Lemaitre. (LEMAITRE enters, and ROBESPIERRE addresses the GUARD on the door.) ROBESPIERRE: We are not to be disturbed. (The GUARD exits and shuts the door.) ROBESPIERRE: The news is serious, Citizen, and there is not much time. LEMAITRE: I am at your service. You have only to give the order. ROBESPIERRE: There is a meeting of the Convention tomorrow. LEMAITRE: Yes, I know, Citizen. ROBESPIERRE: I have been warned that certain influential Members - traitors, all of them - are planning to bring an indictment against another Member. LEMAITRE: You have their names? (ROBESPIERRE ignores the question.) ROBESPIERRE: Oh, I realise they are forever plotting. But this latest information suggests that more and more of the Paris Commune are taking sides. The plan is that even I shall not be allowed to speak! They're out to destroy me! LEMAITRE: All is not lost, Citizen. You still have many friends sitting in the Convention. ROBESPIERRE: But can I trust them? If this motion gets underway, they will turn against me to save their own necks. Mark my words, Lemaitre. If this plot is successful, tomorrow, the 27th of July 1794, will be a date for history! LEMAITRE: Tell me the leader of this group, Citizen - he will be immediately executed! ROBESPIERRE: Patience, Lemaitre. This is no lone voice we are fighting against. If they are to hold power, they will need the Army on their side. Meetings must have been arranged. LEMAITRE: By whom? ROBESPIERRE: It is my guess that Deputy Paul Barrass is at the forefront of the rebels, but I must be certain before I strike. I shall not get a second chance, Lemaitre. LEMAITRE: Tell me what I must do. ROBESPIERRE: I understand that Barrass is leaving Paris tonight. I assume it must be for a meeting. With the position as it is, it can be for no other reason. I want to know who with, and the decision. Given that, I can still defeat my enemies. LEMAITRE: What if he's just a decoy? ROBESPIERRE: That is my worry, Lemaitre. Tonight my men will be everywhere. Barrass is your responsibility. LEMAITRE: I shall not fail you... Against which Member is the indictment being brought, Citizen? ROBESPIERRE: Against me, Lemaitre! Against me, Robespierre! [SCENE_BREAK] 15. RENAN'S SITTING ROOM (Footsteps can be heard approaching the outside door. The door opens slowly, then closes again, and IAN and JULES enter cautiously.) JULES: Leon was right... Leon was right. He did not tell me about this place. We're safe here for the moment. But I shall have to give up this house very soon. It's becoming too dangerous. (IAN moves into the room, and sees BARBARA lying on the sofa, hidden from view of the entrance.) IAN: Barbara! We thought you'd been arrested! BARBARA: Yes, we were. But when we got to the prison, the Doctor was there. IAN: What! BARBARA: Yes, he's dressed up as if he was running the revolution! From what I could gather, half the people there take orders from him! IAN: That sounds like the Doctor, alright. JULES: The Doctor? You mean Susan's grandfather? BARBARA: Yes, that's right. IAN: And where's Susan? BARBARA: Oh, she'll be along later with him. I just walked out. IAN: Walked out? But... (Laughs.) I don't know how he gets away with it half the time. What did he say? BARBARA: Well not very much - we didn't have a chance. But he'll be here soon, so no doubt we'll get the whole story, several times. (They laugh wryly, then BARBARA notices IAN's bandaged wrists.) BARBARA: What have you done? IAN: Oh, it's nothing much... Let's just say I... fell into the wrong hands, and Jules arrived in time. BARBARA: And Leon? JULES: He's dead, Barbara. I killed him. BARBARA: Killed him? JULES: Yes. He was the traitor we were looking for. (BARBARA is shocked and aghast.) IAN: It was the only way, Barbara. JULES: (Coldly.) He deserved to die. He was a traitor. BARBARA: What do you mean, "he was a traitor"? IAN: When I got to the church, he turned on me. He was going to kill me. JULES: He betrayed us, Barbara. BARBARA: He was a traitor to you - to his side he was a patriot. IAN: Barbara, we've taken sides just by being here. Jules actually shot him. It could just as easily have been me. JULES: And what about Robespierre? I suppose you think... BARBARA: Well just because an extremist like Robespierre... (IAN cuts in angrily.) IAN: Oh Barbara, Jules is our friend! He saved our lives! BARBARA: I know all that! The revolution isn't all bad, and neither are the people who support it. It changed things for the whole world, and good, honest people gave their lives for that change. IAN: Well I think he got what he deserved. BARBARA: You check your history books, Ian, before you decide what people deserve! (She storms out of the room, leaving IAN staring angrily after her. JULES looks very perplexed at the end of the argument.) [SCENE_BREAK] 16. CELLS (The DOCTOR appears outside the locked door of SUSAN's cell, holding the JAILER's bottle of cognac.) SUSAN: Oh, grandfather! I thought you were never coming! DOCTOR: I shall have you out of here soon, but I must have your help! Now look, I want you to get down onto the floor, behind this door, and don't move, whatever you do! SUSAN: But grandfather... DOCTOR: Do it now, child, don't argue! Do it now! And don't make a sound! Stay there! (SUSAN ducks down. The DOCTOR hears footsteps approaching.) DOCTOR: There's someone coming. SUSAN: Be careful! DOCTOR: Just... just don't fuss. (The DOCTOR moves into the shadows as the steps get nearer. Soon the JAILER appears, muttering to himself. The DOCTOR steps out, and the JAILER looks up.) JAILER: Oh, it'll be the end of me, this business. I don't know what Lemaitre will say. DOCTOR: Oh, he's not back yet then, eh? JAILER: Oh, we can expect him any minute! DOCTOR: Hmm... (He looks at SUSAN's cell.) DOCTOR: Jailer! Jailer! That girl, she's gone! JAILER: What? DOCTOR: She's gone! (The JAILER rushes to the cell door, looks through the bars, sees the cell apparently empty, and exclaims in panic.) JAILER: She's gone! (He fumbles for the keys and eventually manages to put the correct one in the lock and open the door. The DOCTOR produces the bottle from behind his back and whacks the JAILER over the head, knocking him out. SUSAN stands up from just inside the door.) DOCTOR: Come along, child, quickly! Quick... (He hurries her out of the cell, only to walk straight into LEMAITRE, who reacts instantly.) LEMAITRE: Guards! Guards! (Two prison GUARDS come running, and grab hold of the DOCTOR and SUSAN. The JAILER groggily staggers to his feet and looks at LEMAITRE.) JAILER: He tricked me, Citizen. He tricked me! LEMAITRE: Lock her away. (The GUARDS throw SUSAN back into the cell, and the JAILER locks the door.) JAILER: He did as you said 'e would, Citizen. He tried to get the young girl released, and he let the other prisoner go! DOCTOR: Oh, spare your breath, please! I'm quite capable of explaining the situation myself. LEMAITRE: Alright, Jailer. (He turns to the DOCTOR.) LEMAITRE: I think it's about time we had a talk. (He gestures the DOCTOR ahead of him, and they walk towards his office.) [SCENE_BREAK] 17. LEMAITRE'S OFFICE (The DOCTOR feigns indignance as LEMAITRE shuts the door.) DOCTOR: I must insist that you reason- release that young child immediately! LEMAITRE: I'm afraid you're not in a position to insist on anything at the moment! (He walks slowly across the room and sits at the desk. He casually pulls open one of the desk drawers.) DOCTOR: Position, sir? Do you realise who you're talking to? LEMAITRE: Not yet. But I intend to find out. Do you recognise this, Citizen? (He produces the DOCTOR's ring. The DOCTOR takes and examines it briefly.) DOCTOR: No. Should I? (LEMAITRE reaches under the desk for the DOCTOR's clothes.) LEMAITRE: And these. They're yours, aren't they? Given in exchange for those rather splendid clothes and the insignia of a Regional Provincial Deputy. DOCTOR: Do you know that's the biggest fairy story I've ever heard in my life? LEMAITRE: I could have had you arrested any time I wanted! (The DOCTOR realises the game is up.) DOCTOR: Yes - why didn't you? (He makes to put the ring down on the table.) DOCTOR: Please please, keep it. LEMAITRE: Why didn't I? Well, with the political situation as it is, and my position being what it is, I need friends. Even if they're enemies. People I can call on for help - if I have something on them, so much the better. DOCTOR: It's become quite obvious to me why you didn't wish me to leave the prison. LEMAITRE: Huh! I knew I'd never see you again if you did. DOCTOR: But you relaxed the regulations today, and I could have walked out any time I wished. LEMAITRE: And left your granddaughter? (He notices the DOCTOR's guilty reaction.) LEMAITRE: Just an assumption, but obviously correct. I knew I had you so long as she remained here under lock and key. If you remember, when I first met you, you were enquiring after your friends. The young woman, whom the jailer says you've just released, the girl and, err, what was his name - Ian. DOCTOR: So you knew all the time? LEMAITRE: Let's just say I added to my knowledge. Listening at doors can still be effective. DOCTOR: What do you want? LEMAITRE: Ah. So I see we understand each other. If you agree to help me, your granddaughter will be released - after you have kept your side of the bargain. DOCTOR: The least I can do is listen. LEMAITRE: Good! Now, I'm reasonably certain that your group are working with, or for, Jules Renan. I think you used his hideout - certainly you know where it is, and if you don't, your granddaughter does. DOCTOR: I have never met the man! Oh, I fully appreciate why you must want to find him, but if you think that I am going to betray him, then you are a very poor judge of character. LEMAITRE: If you want your granddaughter released, you will have to take me to his hideout. DOCTOR: Never, sir, I refuse! LEMAITRE: I repeat - if you want your granddaughter released, you do not have a choice! [SCENE_BREAK] 18. RENAN'S SITTING ROOM (BARBARA enters to find IAN alone in the room. She has calmed down after her earlier outburst.) BARBARA: Where's Jules? IAN: He went to the end of the street, to look for Susan and the Doctor. BARBARA: Well, the Doctor would have to wait for the right moment. IAN: Yes, but how long can we wait? BARBARA: Oh, I don't know. Whenever somebody passes the house, I think it might be them. IAN: Yes, I know. Barbara - sorry about Leon, but it really was the only way, believe me. BARBARA: I know... I wanted to apologise to Jules... I'm so sick and tired of death, Ian. We never seem able to get away from it. (JULES has entered unnoticed.) JULES: There is no way, Barbara. (He shuts the door as they turn towards him.) JULES: Well, there's no sign of your friends. BARBARA: Well, we must wait a little longer. JULES: Mm. I left the door unlatched. IAN: Oh, so now anyone can walk in! JULES: Try and be patient, Ian... Oh, I know these long hours of waiting only too well. I've had my share. BARBARA: Jules... when I spoke to you before, I... the things I said... JULES: You said because of Leon the man. Yes, I know. But I did what I had to do because of what he represents. Do you ever wonder why I'm doing these things, hiding in shadows, fighting in corners? IAN: We took it for granted you belonged to the other side, the aristocracy. JULES: No. No, I have no title or position. I belong, well, in the middle. But I hate to see order thrown out of the window like so much dust. There can be no loyalty or honour where anarchy prevails. BARBARA: And Leon was your friend. JULES: There are only two sides today, Barbara. Those who rule by fear and treachery, and those who fight for reason and justice. Anyone who betrays these principles is worse than the devil in hell! (They hear a noise at the outside door.) IAN: Here they are. (He looks as the door from the hall opens. In walks the DOCTOR, still in his official uniform; behind him is the tall figure of LEMAITRE!) BARBARA: Lemaitre! JULES: Your friend has betrayed us!

Missing episode The TARDIS materialises not far from Paris in 1794 - one of the bloodiest years following the French Revolution of 1789. The travellers become involved with an escape chain rescuing prisoners from the guillotine and get caught up in the machinations of an English undercover spy, James Stirling - alias Lemaitre, governor of the Conciergerie prison.

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At Degrassi, Emma is walking into school as Jay is lifting up Alex Alex: Ow, stop. Amy: I love how mature your boyfriend is. Alex: Put me down. Great the first doctor's note I have that isn't a forgery and Mr. 'I can pick up a girl' has to make it look all suspicious. (Emma and Jay look at each other, so he kisses Alex.) Nate: Hey Emma, did JT say where we're supposed to leave our costumes? (Emma kisses Nate, as Jay, Snake and Manny all watch shocked.) Nate: I've had more conversations with the janitor than I've had with you. Emma: I was acting. Just kissing all my nerves out pre-dress rehearsal. But don't worry Nate. I'll wait for my cue next time! In the library, Jay grabs Emma Jay: Are you hot for Dracula? Or are you trying to mess with me? Emma: Are you gonna be in the ravine again tonight? Are we gonna party? I think I need another bracelet. Jay: I don't like being messed with, okay? Emma: I know. Mr. Simpson: I need a minute with my daughter. Jay: Oh that's adorable, sir. Mr. Simpson: Cut the commentary Jason. Go. (Jay leaves.) Emma: And stand by for concerned father figure lecture. Mr. Simpson: You come in at 3 in the morning hysterical, crying, wanting to talk about the shooting and now you're kissing random guys? Emma: It wasn't random. Mr. Simpson: Please Em. Let me, let me be here for you. Let me talk to you. Emma: The bell's gonna go. At the hospital, Marco is taking a picture of Jimmy and a nurse Paula: Thanks Marco. Taping this one right to my computer monitor. Take care Jimmy. Jimmy: Poor nurse Paula. She's gonna miss me, but home has a full fridge and a wide screen. Marco: Craig and I can come, hang out, without visiting hours! We can play Kid Elrick as loud as we want! Craig: Yeah, your dad can tuck you in instead of nurse Paula! Jimmy: She's the only thing I'm gonna miss about this place. (Jimmy's dad knocks on the door.) Jimmy: Block the doorway pops! No time for speed bumps. You ready? Mr. Brooks: You look good Jim. Jimmy: I don't like you look good Jim. Mr. Brooks: The rails they're putting in at the condo, they're not done. Not yet. Jimmy: So? Mr. Brooks: So I'm all over the contractors. Jimmy: So? Mr. Brooks: One more week tops! Maybe sooner if I can string it. Craig: Mr. Brooks, Jimmy gets around well. Mr. Brooks: I know Jimmy's made great progress but I can't be with him 24/7 right now and I don't want something happening. Something that's gonna trash all the progress that he's made. Marco: He really wants to go. What about Mrs. Brooks or a nurse?! I mean we could even help out! Jimmy: Forget it guys. Whatever. In the auditorium, Danny is on stage Danny: Sixteenth, May. Castle Dracula, his avital prison and die in it's prisoner. Worse. I fear I may be going mad! (He keeps talking and it cuts to Emma & Manny) Manny: If Nate was fifty and fat you could have caused cardiac arrest. Emma: Anything for the theatre! Liberty: Shh! Manny: I need complete teen girl details! Why, good, tongue, like it or not. Bring the answers over tonight. Emma: I have to go to the ravine tonight. I'm meeting some people. JT: Is it too much to ask for silence in the peanut gallery! Danny: There in the moonlight were three young women. Three... JT: Am I ever gonna get three of them? Amy: Alex was at the doctor's. She should be back. (Alex and Jay come rushing in.) Jay: Lexy it was nothing. Come on! JT: Lexy is late for her scene! Alex: You want a scene JT?! Hey best friend Amy let's give JT a scene! *She smacks Amy nice and hard* Tell me about the ravine Amy! About how you went down on my boyfriend, Amy and the bracelets you got for it! Amy: I didn't sleep with him! (Manny sees Emma covering up her bracelets.) Alex: By who's definition?! Jay: Let's step outside Alex. Alex: Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I'll deck your smug face too! At the hospital Paula: Shake it off mopey Brooks. Jimmy: I'm not mopey! Paula: You know a chair's only a prison if you let it be. Jimmy: Stop the inspirational quotes. I'm not buying it. Paula: What you shouldn't buy is your dad's attitude. You and I both know Jimmy Brooks can do whatever he sets his mind to. At least I know it. Outside the school Manny: It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out. Why would you hook up with Jay? Are you in love with him? Emma: No! Of course not. Manny: So, what do you get out of it?! Emma: That's a really stupid question. Manny: No, what you're doing is stupid. You're letting a disgusting bottom feeder use you to serial cheat on his girlfriend! Emma: Should you really be preaching to anyone about that?! We're not having real s*x. Manny: It's pretty close. Emma: But I'm not getting pregnant. Manny: Why are you trying to hurt me? Emma: Cause you won't leave me alone! Manny: You're better than this! You're better than what you're doing! Emma: What do you know about who I am or what I'm worth or anything?! At the hospital Marco: Special delivery from the sorry your dadda sucks pizzeria! Jimmy: Uh I'll hold out till tomorrow. Craig: What's tomorrow? Jimmy: Student council prez man gets you both out of school and then you come over here and bust me out. Craig: Sounds like trouble. Marco: (stuttering) I'm not good with trouble. Jimmy: I need to see something beyond you two and these ugly ass walls. Marco: Tomorrow. Craig: You're Houdini on wheels! Jimmy: (Pulls out a newspaper) Okay and Houdini wants to see Kid Elrick live tomorrow night! Yeah! At the ravine Emma: Hey have you seen Jay? Some guy: Hang with me instead. You could use another friend right? Emma: Friends with benefits. Some guy: Hey we could all use a good benefit too. Emma: Maybe next time. (Emma leaves and finds Jay's car.) Emma: Jay. Can I climb in? I went to the ravine, but you weren't there Jay: My day kind of sucked in case you didn't notice. Emma: So let's make you feel better. Jay: Alex is sick with some thing. She thinks I gave it to her and she won't talk to me so I don't feel like it tonight. Emma: Oh you gonna cry now?! Jay: You are one cold girl. Emma: There's a ton of guys who would love a chance to be with me. Jay: Right now, I'm not one of them. At the hospital, Marco and Jimmy are wearing black hoods Jimmy: It's uh sweet of you to bring this incredible disguise. Hate to tell you but uh it does absolutely nothing to hide this enormous shiny mass of scrap metal that I'm sitting in. Marco: I though it'd be cool to look like ninjas. Hush! He's coming! Here he comes! (Craig walks in wearing a trench coat and a hat.) Craig: I'm here for Dr. Shinklehatin. Receptionist: I'm sorry? Craig: I mean Dr. Shpitzlehaven. Receptionist: Sir I'm afraid we don't have anyone here by that name. (The phone rings.) Receptionist: HS Rye Recovery Centre. Good afternoon. Craig: Dr. Shpilkimishin?!? Marco: (On a cell phone) This is uh, This is uh, Dr. Smitgiztinsky. It's an emergency of the highest degree. (Craig starts breathing loudly and grabs his chest.) Receptionist: Are you okay sir? Craig: Go get Dr. Shunckenhoser! Marco: The man in front of you is uh extremely dangerous. I ask you to leave the area. Abandon it now! Receptionist: (As she's getting up to run away) Could you uh wait here sir... Craig: Go get Dr. Shuckenhoser! (The guys quickly rush for the door.) Marco: Go! Go! Let's go! [SCENE_BREAK] In the auditorium Emma: Jay! Jay. Um...about last night. Jay: You alright? Emma: Yeah. It's just a sore throat. That's all. I don't care about Alex or anything you know. Really I don't. JT: Raw egg, honey and lemon. Drink Emma: JT! My voice is just tired. That's all. JT: Just drink okay? You told me you'd be able to do the show, so you're gonna do the show, period. Emma: Ugh. This stuff is so rude. In a classroom Teacher: Come on, take your seat the both of you! JT: Public health nurse? Oh goody. Another evil omen to put me at calm. Nurse: Show of hands. Oral s*x is safer than regular intercourse? (A few people put up their hands.) Nurse: Okay. We think there's been a mini outbreak. Here. At Degrassi. Of this. Manny: Gonorrhea!?! (Everyone looks at her.) Manny: Sorry. Did I just say that out loud...? Nurse: It's not a very nice word is it? Gonorrhea. And how do you know if you have gonorrhea? Well...some symptoms are genital dischard, bleeding, burning, orally you might get a fever or sore throat JT: Hey Em. You got something to tell us? Emma: Shut up. Nurse: And sometimes those with the disease show no symptoms at all. Lucky, you might think. Think again. Untreated gonorrhea can cause arthritis, heart disease, infertility. Okay. Recognize this? (Picture of a condom) Good. If you've had any s*x without using one of these you are at risk. This applies to oral s*x as well. Especially if you've had it with a bunch of people or if your partner has. At the concert Jimmy: That was so incredibly stupid. Craig: You're here aren't you?! Breathing fresh bar air. (Two girls walk by and smile at Jimmy.) Marco: Mr. mobility just got checked out. Jimmy: It was more like a 'what's with the gimp, drive-by'. (Jimmy backs his chair into a guy who spills his food.) Jimmy: Oh. Man, I'm so sorry. The guy: Leave it. Jimmy: You sure? I'm really sorry. Okay guys lets go back. Now. Craig: Not unless the Kid is performing live in your hospital. Come on! Backstage at the school Liberty: I can't believe I have to be Alex. Tell me you're as nervous as I am! Manny: Is the Pope a Catholic? Does Jay have gonorrhea? Emma: Manny. Manny: Amy and Alex happen to be sick? What are you gonna do out there? Emma: I'm Emma. I play the part of Mina. Manny: If you have any conscience at all you will not kiss Dracula. (Emma gives her a dirty look and grabs her stuff.) Manny: Emma! Back at the concert Jimmy: The Kid's gonna be on any second. I can't see a thing. Marco: There aren't really any wheelchair seats. There aren't any seats. Craig: Maybe there's some down in front. Marco: Maybe there's a manager. Jimmy: You guys can't leave me here. Craig: Just two seconds, ok buddy?! (The show starts.) Jimmy: Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! I can't really see. The guy: No problem man. (Jimmy wheels his chair to the front and he starts rocking out in his chair.) In the auditorium Nate: Then my brain says come to you. You shall cross land or sea to do my bidding and to that end...this! Emma: But no. I cannot. Dracula... (He leans in and doesn't kiss her.) Emma: What are you doing?! Nate: Keep going. Emma: What have I done? What have I done to deserve such a fate?! I have walked in meekness and righteousness all my days! God pity me! (He grabs her, the lights go out and people start clapping.) Backstage Emma: You threw the scene. That was completely unprofessional! Nate: I'd rather be that than diseased. Emma: What did you say? Nate: There isn't enough antibiotic in the world that would make me kiss you. And that little smooch in the hall the other day, who knows what I caught from that! Thanks so much! Jay: Screw him. Emma: Why did you do this to me? Jay: I didn't do anything! Emma: You gave me a social disease! Jay: You said you didn't care. Even this morning you said that! Emma: Just leave me alone okay! Jay: Look I never told Alex about you Emma. I liked how you had virtue or whatever. Emma: I don't. Not any of that. Jay: Come on. Who are you trying to fool? Everybody knows. Everybody knows about the real you! Just- (Emma leaves and watches the play sadly from the side.) At the hospital, the guys are going back to Jimmy's room Craig: Man we were so close, the Kid was basically sweating on us! Marco: I am never gonna shower. Craig: What?! (The guys are laughing, and when they get to the room and Jimmy's dad is standing there waiting.) Mr. Brooks: Your nurse called. Furious! Jimmy: So what are you gonna do? Ground me? Look. Today was an obstacle course okay? And I brought my A game. I had an A game! Mr. Brooks: James listen. Jimmy: No, I'm ready to come home! Now you have to be ready for it! Mr. Brooks: Will you be here tomorrow morning? Jimmy: Depends. What are you offering? Mr. Brooks: Find you a home care person to fill in the gap, be with you all the time. Okay? Jimmy: Okay. Thank you. At Emma's Spike: She was so amazing. I couldn't believe it was the same girl. Mr. Simpson: Kate Hepburn was reborn. Spike: Did we wake you, Ms. Hepburn? Emma: I wasn't asleep. Mr. Simpson: Post show adrenaline. Probably feel fantastic right now, huh? Spike: And for the record Snake and me walking on egg shells around you is officially over. Our girl's back! Emma: I just wanted you to be proud before. How brave and perfect I was. And after everything happened and Rick died, I couldn't hold onto it anymore. Spike: You don't have to be brave or perfect ever. Just be you. Emma: But what if I don't like me very much right now? (Emma starts crying) I need somebody to take me to the clinic. Spike: Are you sick? Do you have a fever? Emma: I just need to go to the health unit. Tomorrow. Mr. Simpson: There's something going around the school right now, but it's a very specific group. And Em, if you're worried, there's a good chance you don't have to be. Emma: I have to be. Spike: Emma. Emma: Just say you'll take me. Just say. (Spike hugs her, as she's still crying) Scenes for next week Voiceover: With Jimmy's return to school, Spinner must now face the truth. Spinner: I would have come, but things got crazy... Jimmy: I understand. I probably should have been there with you instead of at the hospital getting a bullet removed from my spine. Voiceover: And reveal what really happened that day. Jimmy: Rick put me in this chair for life!

After having oral sex with Jay, Emma finally feels alive, but when many students get infected with gonorrhea, including Jay's girlfriend Alex, she worries that she may also have it. Meanwhile, Jimmy enlists the help of Craig and Marco to break out of the hospital and see his favorite band.

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[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [EXT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE - DRIVEWAY -- NIGHT] (The lamp post light over the driveway flickers out then goes back on again.) [INT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE - MASTER BEDROOM -- NIGHT] (Open on a framed photo on the bedside table of a man and a woman smiling. Camera moves over and across the bed to the closed bedroom door. Under the door through the crack we see swirling smoke seeping into the bedroom.) [MARTHA JAMES' BEDROOM] (MARTHA JAMES sleeps quietly in her bed.) [SAM ABERNATHY'S BEDROOM] (Camera sweeps low across the floor - along the thrown puzzle pieces littering the carpet and over to the bunk bed ladder. It rises up and finds SAM ABERNATHY sleeping in bed.) [SCENE_BREAK] [SABRINA'S BEDROOM] (The focus is on the neatly made bed and the stuffed animal on it. Smoke rises up from the floor to cover the bed like a cloud completely obscuring it from our vision.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE - FRONT YARD - NIGHT - LATER] (The bedroom windows explode and a stream of fire bursts out of the house. A fireman walking across the lawn ducks instinctively.) Fireman: Go pull a line towards the garage. (The house is on fire and fire fighters are attempting to put it out.) (Two firemen assist MARTHA JAMES and JESSICA ABERNATHY out of the house. Jessica Abernathy: Sam? Fireman: (o.s.) Knock it down. Jessica Abernathy: (hysterical) Sam? Where is Sam? Fireman: You're going to be all right. (The firemen lead MARTHA JAMES and JESSICA ABERNATHY across the lawn and away from the house fire.) Jessica Abernathy: What about Sam?! Sam! Fireman: I'm going to need you to stay right here, ma'am. Jessica Abernathy: Sam. Where is he? Where is...? (A FIREMAN pushes the door open and exits the house. He's carrying SAM ABERNATHY in his arms.) Fireman: Hey, I got one more! (The FIREMAN carries SAM over to his mom and the medic.) Fireman: Here you go, pal. You stay right here with your mom. (The MEDIC takes SAM'S hand.) Fireman: Ma'am, is there anybody else in there? Jessica Abernathy: No. (The FIREMEN open another hose and aim it at the house. The house is on fire.) [SCENE_BREAK] (CATHERINE and NICK carry their kits and walk toward WARRICK who is standing on the side on the driveway next to the Arson Investigator, JACK. They're both watching the fire.) Catherine: Hey. (WARRICK and JACK turn around.) Nick: What's with the 911 page? Fire's not even out yet. Warrick: Jack's an arson investigator. We were here on this same street ten days ago. Jack: Garage fire a few houses down. Deemed intentional. Catherine: So you think it's a serial? Warrick: I don't know, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled. Maybe they came back to take a look. Fireman: (o.s.) We got another one. (A FIREMAN comes out of the burning house carrying a body.) Fireman: Got another one. (He makes his way toward the medics. JESSICA ABERNATHY is completely confused, but she recognizes her own daughter.) Jessica Abernathy: Sabrina? Fireman: We need a paramedic right now. She's not breathing. (JESSICA kneels down next to her daughter.) Jessica Abernathy: Sabrina, what are you doing here? You weren't supposed to be here. Sabrina? (The MEDICS work on SABRINA, but she's already gone.) Jessica Abernathy: (sobbing) Please help me. Please. Catherine: I think our arsonist just turned into a murderer. (Camera rises up above the scene of the PARAMEDIC working on SABRINA as sounds of her mother sobbing are heard.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS [SCENE_BREAK] FADE IN [EXT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE -- NIGHT] (The CORONERS zip up the body bag with SABRINA ABERNATHY inside and put the gurney in the back of the CORONERS' van. CATHERINE and JESSICA ABERNATHY stand off to the side watching.) Jessica Abernathy: She wasn't even burned. Catherine: Smoke inhalation happens really fast. I'm so sorry. I heard you say she wasn't supposed to be home tonight. Was she with her dad? Jessica Abernathy: My husband died five years ago in a car accident. She ... was at her friend Molly's house for a sleep-over. At least she was when I went to bed. Catherine: What time was that? Jessica Abernathy: I don't know, 11:00, 11:30. Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy, do you have any idea what may have caused the fire? Jessica Abernathy: I go to bed, I make sure the lights are off, lock the doors. Catherine: Do you know anyone who might want to set fire to your home? Jessica Abernathy: I go to work. I take care of my kids and my mother, and that's my life. [SCENE_BREAK] [FRONT YARD - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (NICK faces the crowd and takes photos of the curious onlookers.) Nick: Thanks a lot. (He snaps more photos, then puts the camera down.) Nick: Okay, folks, any information you feel like you may have... (MARTHA JAMES taps NICK on his shoulder.) Martha James: How am I going to get my fosamax? Nick: Oh, well, I'll make sure you have your medications by breakfast, okay? You're going to be all right. Everything's okay. (A FIREMAN appears and pulls MARTHA JAMES off to the side.) Nick: This man will take care of you, okay? [FIRETRUCK (PARKED) - FRONT SEAT - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS] (SAM ABERNATHY points to something up above expecting the FIREMAN sitting next to him to explain it to him. WARRICK stands just outside the open passenger seat door and listens.) Sam Abernathy: What does that one do? Fireman: That one? That turns on the siren, so we can get to places really fast. Sam Abernathy: To help people burning inside? Fireman: That's right. Sam Abernathy: But not my sister. Fireman: Yeah. (He puts a hand on the little boy's shoulder.) I'm sorry, buddy. Sam Abernathy: It's okay. (SAM looks at the FIREMAN who looks past SAM at WARRICK.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. CASINO - BATHROOM -- NIGHT] (In the middle of the bathroom floor is a very large dead man wearing a red shirt with "735" in white on the front.) Brass: So the morning cleaning crew found him. No ID, but this was in his pocket. (BRASS explains what he knows to SARA and GRISSOM. He shows the paper to SARA.) Sara: Looks like some kind of code. (She looks at the wordlist.) Grissom: "735"? Brass: His goal weight? (BRASS shrugs. He gives up while he's ahead.) I'm going to talk to housekeeping. (He turns and leaves the rest room. SARA and GRISSOM step forward to get to work. GRISSOM puts his kit down on the floor next to the body.) (He opens his kit and removes a camera. He takes a photo of the head wound.) Grissom: That's a nasty head wound. Sara: It's always reassuring to see an empty soap dispenser in a public bathroom. (SARA hands the bagged note to GRISSOM. She leans in close over the bathroom counter and looks at the cracked mirror with blood running down the front.) Sara: So I'm thinking this is how the vic got his head smashed in. (Through the reflection in the mirror, we see GRISSOM stand up behind SARA to look at the mirror.) (Quick flashback to: [BATHROOM - EARLIER] ADAM BRENNER hits his forehead against the mirror. The mirror cracks and ADAM falls back to the floor. Someone standing behind him steps aside.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (GRISSOM holds out a swab. SARA takes it from him.) Sara: Thank you. (She takes a sample of the blood on the mirror.) (GRISSOM puts on his latex gloves while staring at the blood stain on the floor. He sees something on the blood.) Grissom: It's common to find something in blood. Uncommon to find something on blood. (SARA watches him as he picks up the black thing. He looks down at the body and checks the eyes.) Grissom: Petechial hemorrhaging. Asphyxia. Sara: Head bashed in and asphyxiated. No soap was the least of his problems. (GRISSOM glances up at SARA.) [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] Jack (arson Investigator): (V.O.) The smoke detectors' batteries are all dead. [INT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE - SABRINA'S BEDROOM -- DAY] (JACK, the arson investigator, shows CATHERINE, WARRICK and NICK through the house.) Jack (arson Investigator): Sabrina's was the only bedroom that sustained any fire damage at all. Catherine: Her mother thought that she wasn't home. (WARRICK takes a photo.) Catherine: But she wasn't asleep. Jack (arson Investigator): Not in her bed. (CATHERINE walks over to the small space and finds SABRINA'S hide-away - books and other junk - evidence that a teenager had been there.) (Quick flashback to: SABRINA sits in the small space reading the book while music blares in the background.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: That would explain why the firemen didn't find her right away. (WARRICK takes a photo.) Jack (arson Investigator): But it doesn't explain what she was doing down there. Catherine: If you can explain the behavior of teenagers, more power to you. [KITCHEN] (JACK kicks at the burned linoleum on the floor.) Jack (arson Investigator): Adhesive they use to put this stuff down is highly flammable. Crack in the linoleum, the fire will just seek it out and go for it. (CATHERINE looks up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. WARRICK takes a photo of the things on the floor.) (CATHERINE looks at the burned stove. WARRICK tries the back door. He opens it and closes it.) Warrick: (to JACK) This door's unlocked. Jack (arson Investigator): The firemen said they only used one point of entry and exit: The front door. Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy said that she locked all the doors before bed. Warrick: Well, this could be how Sabrina got in. Comes home late, forgets to lock the door behind her. It's an opportunity waiting to happen. Jack (arson Investigator): Let's check out the living room. (He turns and leads them into the next room.) [LIVING ROOM] Jack (arson Investigator): A few cheap, wood panel walls. Polyester curtains, couple of fake plants. All highly flammable. (CATHERINE picks up an unburned bottle of alcohol.) Catherine: Plus ... a bar full of liquid fire with a low flash point. (She throws the bottle aside. JACK sees the broken table on the floor.) Jack (arson Investigator): Coffee table. (They both approach the remains of the sofa.) Catherine: Couch? Jack (arson Investigator): At some point, I think this was a couch. Catherine: This looks like a liquid pour pattern. High-intensity burn. You think this could be the point of origin? (Quick CGI flash to: The couch is on fire and burning. End of flash. Resume to present.) Jack (arson Investigator): I think this is the area of heaviest damage. The fire spread up and out towards the kitchen. (JACK takes out a tape measure. His voice fades into the background.) [DOOR] (WARRICK kneels in front of the back door and fingerprints the door knob.) [DRIVEWAY] (Meanwhile out in the car port, NICK looks around and finds a stack of newspapers only slightly burned. He moves the papers and looks at the concrete burns under it.) [LIVING ROOM] (CATHERINE works on the sofa when WARRICK approaches her. He puts his kit down.) Catherine: How'd you do? (NICK walks into the room carrying the stack of newspapers.) Warrick: Uh, couple of weak partials. What you got, partner? Nick: Newspapers. I found them in the carport. Catherine: That's on the other side of the house. Nick: Yeah, it's kind of weird. Completely out of the path of the fire and the firemen said they didn't put them there. Warrick: You know the fire down the street was in the garage. Nick: Well, maybe he started in the carport, Sabrina came home, provided access to the inside of the house. Catherine: Did they find an accelerant at the first scene? Warrick: Lighter fluid from the garage. Catherine: So maybe part of the M.O. is that he uses accelerants that are present. Nick: Let's hope he stuck around long enough to witness the damage. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (NICK and WARRICK go through the video of the observers in the crowd.) Warrick: This is home video from the first fire. Nick: It looks like everybody's neighbor. Warrick: Well, they say arsonists often commit crimes where they feel most familiar. The last fire was set during the day in the garage when the family was out of town. Nick: A neighbor would know when people were out of town. Warrick: Or when the door was left unlocked. Nick: If this is a serial situation, to go from an empty garage to a whole house full of people, we're talking about a major escalation here. Warrick: Well, a match was found at the first fire. If we could find a match in the debris of the second fire, then we may know for sure. (On the monitor, a woman stands near the fire truck.) Nick: Oh, she looks familiar. Hang on. I may have something. (He goes to the next video.) Nick: She was at both fires. I got her name off the canvas. Warrick: Let's run her. Nick: Yeah. (NICK does a name check and finds something. She is: Name: VIVA CHARLES Address: 22 SUTTER STREET LAS VEGAS, NV s*x: FEMALE Criminal Records: ATTEMPTED ARSON MARCH 03, 2000 Nick: She has a record. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (NICK interviews VIVA CHARLES.) Nick: You were arrested for attempted arson? Viva Charles: I was exonerated. Nick: I have you on film at both fires on cell crook road. Viva Charles: I am not an arsonist. Nick: That's not what your file says. Viva Charles: The law doesn't make much of a distinction between arsonists and pyromaniacs. Nick: What is the distinction? Viva Charles: I don't set fires for money or with the intent to cause damage. Nick: But you do set fires? Viva Charles: Mmm. You go home at night, and you feel a little lonely, you put in a racy video. Nick: No, no, no. We're not talking about me. Viva Charles: I go home, I rip open my junk mail, and I put it in the fireplace. It's an impulse control disorder ... but it's private. I don't burn down houses and kill children. Nick: Maybe not on purpose, but accidents do happen. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) -- MORNING] [INT. CSI - LAB - MORNING] (GREG walks into the lab. NICK is already there with a pack on the table in front of him.) Greg: You rang? Nick: Yeah. Greg, how'd you like to be listed as an assist on an arson case? Greg: Is that a rhetorical question? Nick: Cool. I collected these matchbooks from the pyromaniac's house, who was ... kind of hot, actually. Greg: Really? You dig chicks who dig fire? (NICK smiles and doesn't answer the comment.) Nick: Yeah. This, uh ... this match was used to start a garage fire a couple of weeks ago. See if you can find a match to ... (NICK empties the pack onto the table. Dozens of matchbooks spill out.) ... one of those. Thanks, pal. (He pats GREG on the shoulder and leaves the lab.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- DAY] (The two CORONERS work on ADAM BRENNER.) Robbins: All right, David. The three most common ways to asphyxiate: Strangulation, suffocation and... David Phillips: Choking. Robbins: Good. David Phillips: With this guy, my money's on choking. (ROBBINS and DAVID PHILLIPS work on the body.) Robbins: Scissors. (DAVID PHILLIPS hands ROBBINS the scissors. He removes a portion of the body's trachea to check for blockage.) Robbins: Hold this please. Thank you, David. (He cuts the trachea open and finds a LOGOS piece: "S". ROBBINS looks at DAVID PHILLIPS.) Robbins: Hmm. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY] (ROBBINS reports his findings to GRISSOM. GRISSOM holds up the LOGOS piece.) Grissom: An "S"? Robbins: Cause of death. (Quick flashback to: [BATHROOM] ADAM BRENNER chokes on the piece.) Robbins: (V.O.) I found it in the trachea. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Grissom: So, he swallows a tile and tries to give himself a Heimlich? (Quick flashback to: [BATHROOM] ADAM BRENNER is choking on the puzzle piece. He looks around for something to help jar it out of him. He slams himself against the counter. He tries again and hits his forehead against the mirror, cracking it. He falls to the floor.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Robbins: Or not. I found these in his stomach. (ROBBINS shows the other letters to GRISSOM.) Robbins: You don't swallow six of them by accident. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (GREG works on the assignment NICK gave him. He goes through each matchbook one by one, comparing the match found at the first arson scene with every matchbook.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- DAY (NICK and WARRICK go through the things brought into the lab from the crime scene. GREG walks into the room.) Greg: Your hottie's matchbook collection came up dead. Nick: Hmm. Doesn't mean she didn't do it. Greg: True. Nick: You know, arson's usually a property crime. Did you ever find out the Abernathys' financial situation, Warrick? Warrick: According to Catherine, Jessica Abernathy had major credit card debt but minimal insurance-not even enough to cover what she had. Besides, people tend to remove mementos when they know what's coming. (WARRICK picks up the burned photo of JESSICA and her husband. The same photo that used to be on the bedside table.) Greg: So, if the pyro didn't do it for love, and Mrs. A didn't do it for money, who's left? (NICK looks at the headline from the stack of newspapers found in the car port.) Nick: Maybe the high school baseball team. (He reads the headline out loud.) Nick: McKinley High School Gazette. Nick: This is tomorrow's edition with the lead story by editor-in-chief Sabrina Abernathy, entitled "Varsity Hazing Ritual." Now listen to this ... "The question is not whether the so-called student athletes should be expelled, but whether or not they should be arrested." (The article continues: "This latest case of Varsity hazing is having serious repercussions not only with the school, but across the entire state. The students concerned may face serious charges including involvement with prostitution. "Every four years we get a new set of students that ready to 'one-up' the previous groups ... ") (The two paragraphs repeat.) Warrick: Why, what'd they do? Nick: Apparently, something with several hookers and a lot of testosterone. Greg: Whatever happened to toilet paper and trees? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (GRISSOM places two of the six tiles collected from the body on the table in front of him. An X and a V.) (SARA walks into the lab.) Sara: Hey. DNA came back. Blood from the bathroom floor's a match to the vic. Blood from the bathroom mirror is not. Grissom: That's interesting. Sara: Hmm. (She looks over at the pen, paper and tiles in front of him.) What are you doing? Grissom: Anagrams. Sara: You think the letters might be a message from the killer? (GRISSOM continues to write down possibles on his list: VEXINS VENIXS VEXISN NEIS ... ) Sara: (thinking out loud) Six letters. What is that? That's 720 possible combinations, not all of them words, of course. (She moves the tiles.) Sara: Hmm. You, uh, missed one. (V-I-X-E-N) (GRISSOM glances at SARA who smiles back at him. BRASS walks into the room.) Brass: Hey. We got an ID. Off your DB's prints. His name is Adam Brenner. Sara: That guy has a record? Brass: Well, sort of. He's a civil servant. He's a postal worker from Orlando. Grissom: Do we know why he came to Vegas? Brass: (smiles) Oh, you're going to love this. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOTEL - MAIN COMPETITION ROOM -- DAY] (Rows of tables are set up where dozens of pairs play LOGOS at the 2004 WESTERN REGIONAL LOGOS TOURNAMENT.) (BRASS, GRISSOM and SARA interview one of the TOURNAMENT ORGANIZERS.) Organizer: Adam Brenner was one of our top division one players. Ranked in the high 1,800s. Grissom: Is that like the elo system in chess? Organizer: Logos has all the skill of chess combined with the cruel whimsy of fate. Adam once set a tournament record by scoring 735 points in a single game. Sara: It was on his t-shirt. Organizer: Justifiably. It's an incredible achievement. Brass: So, how did the other players feel about that kind of smack-down? Organizer: You actually suggesting that somebody here killed Adam? (GRISSOM looks at the tournament in play in the room behind them.) Brass: Cruel whimsy of fate. Guy's from out of town, takes a cab from ..., checks into the hotel. The only thing on his hotel bill is four meals a day. No phone calls. So everybody he talked to is in this room. We're going to need a list of his opponents. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. MCKINLEY HIGH SCHOOL BASEBALL FIELD -- DAY] (NICK interviews the Baseball team coach, RICK CHILSON, while his son, CODY CHILSON, is out on the field practicing his hitting. An OFFICER stands behind the two men.) Rick Chilson: What's with the cop? Nick: We're just talking. Rick Chilson: Ah, about what? Nick: (loudly) Sabrina Abernathy died in her home in a fire on Saturday night. (CODY CHILSON hears the comment and misses the ball.) Rick Chilson: Hey! What'd I tell you -- you don't waste a good pitch! Nick: Cody, where were you around 1:00 A.M. on Saturday? Cody Chilson: In bed. Rick Chilson: Cody's in bed every night at 10:00. He gets up at 5:00 to go running. Nick: Except for the nights he's with the team pulling a train on a hooker. (CODY lets another ball pass by as he stares at NICK.) Rick Chilson: Cody, keep hitting. (RICK CHILSON turns back to NICK.) Rick Chilson: This is Vegas. Who hasn't been with a hooker? Nick: Well, most high school seniors who are being scouted by division one schools. I don't think an expulsion and an arrest would look too good on a scholarship application. Rick Chilson: It's a tradition. Happens every year with every team, and why that little bitch had to scapegoat Cody, I'll never know. Nick: How 'bout you, Cody? Do you know? (CODY misses the hit and shakes his head at NICK.) Rick Chilson: Look, I'm sorry the girl's dead. Nick: Yeah, but you're not real sorry the whole mess died with her, are you? Rick Chilson: Yeah, but burning the kid's house down? Come on. Give my son a little credit. Nick: Thanks for your help. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. HOTEL - TOURNAMENT ROOM-- DAY] (GRISSOM walks around the room.) Wilson Janek: (o.s.) Hey, hey, hey, no flash drawing. (At one of the gaming tables, WILSON JANEK calls for a word check.) Wilson Janek: Challenge. Challenge over here. (The WOMAN walks over to the table and checks the word, "GABBONS".) Woman: Illegal word-- that's a minute penalty. Wilson Janek: Time's up. Game over, baby. (scoffing) Gabbons? Challenger: Whatever. (He stands up and leaves.) Wilson Janek: Like I'm really not going to challenge that. (GRISSOM walks over to the man at the table.) Grissom: Wilson Janek? Wilson Janek: Yeah. Want to try your luck? Step up, baby. (GRISSOM sits down.) Wilson Janek: And you are? Grissom: Gil Grissom. Nice to meet you. Wilson Janek: Nice to meet you, Gil Grissom. Grissom: So ... (GRISSOM places his word on the table: ABULIA.) Grissom: What do you hear about Adam Brenner? (He stops his clock.) Wilson Janek: Mr. 735? Heard he's dead. Grissom: Well, he was alive last night when he beat you. Wilson Janek: (laughs) Gil ... you think that trash talk's going to break my focus? (He puts his word down, BAHT, and stops his clock.) Wilson Janek: You must be new. Grissom: Actually ... I'm from the Las Vegas crime lab. I'm just here to collect your DNA. (Using the H in BAHT, GRISSOM builds HADRON. He stops his clock.) Wilson Janek: You're a quick study. But if you think I killed Adam, why don't you go ask Uncle Sam for my DNA? I served my country. Gulf war senior. Memorized word lists for a sanity check. Some guys did ping pong; I did this. I saw enough killing over there. I'm a "make words, not war" kind of guy now. [ANOTHER PART OF THE TOURNAMENT] (SARA takes a swab from CRAIG who is wearing a t-shirt with black lettering: ECSTACY IS A SEVEN LETTER WORD.) Sara: Word on the floor is Adam Brenner really had your number, Craig. Craig: The universe ebbs and flows. Sara: More ebb than flow in your case. I guess you lost to Adam your last three tournaments in a row? Craig's Challenger: 14 points ... times two is 28 plus 10 bonus points for full logos. 38 points. (CRAIG smiles.) Sara: At least you're a good sport. Craig: (smiles) Loss for one is a win for another. [YET ANOTHER PART OF THE TOURNAMENT] (BRASS interviews another LOGOS PLAYER.) Logos Player: So what if I was the last person to play Adam? Brass: You were the last player who saw him alive. Logos Player: What are you thinking, that with Adam out of the tournament, I could abscond with the big cash prize? (BRASS chuckles.) Brass: You tell me. Logos Player: Oh, first prize here is $2,000. (BRASS notices that the LOGOS PLAYER has his right hand tucked into his pant's pocket.) Logos Player: Even if I win, the remuneration barely covers my airfare, accommodation and food. No, no, I don't play for the money. Brass: You play for the glory. Logos Player: You ever attempt a New York Times crossword, Captain? Nah, you probably wouldn't make it past Tuesday. I do Sunday ... in pen. (BRASS puts several pieces on the holder.) Brass: I can still spell this. (He turns it around to show the LOGOS PLAYER the letters: DNA.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- DAY] (DAVID HODGES fills CATHERINE in on the results of his analysis.) David Hodges: GC/mass spec found no trace of accelerant on the couch residue. Catherine: Well, how can that be? It was an obvious liquid pour pattern. David Hodges: Well, my dear, this is why you should never pick up the couch left for curbside pickup. (He shows CATHERINE the test results.) David Hodges: Polyurethane foam. Outlawed in 1988 due to its highly incendiary nature. You light that crap on fire, it heats up, creates a burning pool of liquid, and acts as its own accelerant. (Quick flash to: The Couch is on fire. Inside the couch, the foam melts and fuels the fire. End of flash. Resume to present.) David Hodges: Disaster waiting to happen. Catherine: All it needed was a spark. (HODGES nods.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - GARAGE -- DAY] (CATHERINE, NICK and WARRICK go through buckets of the things removed from the house.) Catherine: We've got no accelerant. We've got no match. We have no idea what started this fire. (NICK finds a cigarette butt embedded in the mess. He picks it up and smells it.) Nick: Maybe this will help. It kind of smells like a menthol. (He hands it to WARRICK. CATHERINE picks it up.) Catherine: Hmm, looks like a one hundred. Longer the cigarette, longer the filter. Nick: Cigarettes are a terrible way to commit arson. Unreliable. They take too long. Possible DNA trace, but ... it just doesn't make any sense. Warrick: It makes sense if the fire was unintentional. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - WAITING ROOM -- DAY] (Outside in the hallway, an OFFICER offers SAM ABERNATHY a canned drink. SAM shakes his head, no.) (Inside the waiting room, JESSICA and her mother are interviewed by CATHERINE and WARRICK. JESSICA motions to SAM out in the hallway.) Jessica Abernathy: I'm sorry about this. Typically, I leave with Sab ... with Sabrina, but ... Catherine: It's fine. Martha James: Well, why are we here, exactly? Warrick: Well, we think we might have figured out what caused the fire. Ms. Abernathy, does anyone in your house smoke? Jessica Abernathy: I don't. Martha James: Well, don't look at me. I quit twenty years ago. Warrick: Sabrina maybe? Jessica Abernathy: I don't think so. Catherine: Well, we found a cigarette filter in the remains of your couch. And we need a urine sample from each of you so that we can rule you out for nicotine. Jessica Abernathy: My house burned down, and my daughter is dead. And you're asking me to pee into a cup? (CATHERINE looks away uncomfortable.) Jessica Abernathy: Sure. Why not? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY] (GREG tests the urine samples. Apparently four samples in four containers. The first sample is from ABERNATHY, then from JESSICA, SAM and MARTHA JAMES. He finishes filling the tubes with the sample and takes all four and shakes them before putting them into the centrifuge.) (He continues to process the samples.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY] (GREG hands CATHERINE the test results as they walk down the hallway.) Greg: Everyone except for the little guy was getting high and getting by. The girl's on uppers, mom's on downers, and grandma sucks on the cancer stick. Catherine: Ritalin, valium, and grandma's a liar. Greg: Pants on fire. (GREG leaves.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB -- DAY] (SCOPE VIEW of the black substance GRISSOM lifted from the blood on the bathroom floor.) (DAVID HODGES fills GRISSOM in on the test analysis.) David Hodges: That's the black trace you found in the blood pool. It's a mix of PVC resin and liquid plasticizer. When heated together, they form a solid elastomer film called plastisol. Grissom: What's it used for? David Hodges: Mostly Greg Sanders wear. Uh, names, hair band logos, inane sayings, anything that can be put on a t-shirt. Grissom: Well, that narrows it down to just about everybody in the tournament. (SARA appears in the doorway carrying slip of paper.) Sara: Hey, we got a match on the blood from the bathroom mirror. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (SARA and BRASS interview the LOGOS PLAYER.) Logos Player: Look, just 'cause I was there doesn't mean I killed Adam Brenner. Brass: Put your hands on the table. (The LOGOS PLAYER puts his hands on the table to show the bruises on his knuckles.) Sara: You know, that's seven years bad luck. Brass: More like seven to ten. Logos Player: Yeah, I'm not very proud of that. Brass: Of what? Logos Player: I'm ebullient, you know. I-I feel the wins and the losses. The other night, I lost to a division two blue-hair. But it's not my fault. She was... she was coffee-housing the whole time. Sara: I'm sorry? Coffee-housing? Logos Player: You know, yap, yap, p-p-yapping. (Quick flashback to: [TOURNAMENT] The WOMAN playing against the LOGOS PLAYER is constantly talking.) Blue-hair Woman: So when I was at the Southern Regionals in Dallas last year, I went to the book depository. Have you ever been there? Logos Player: Zip it, lady. I'm trying to make a play here. (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Logos Player: I never should have lost that one. (Quick flashback to: [BATHROOM] The LOGOS PLAYER talks to himself in the mirror.) Logos Player: What, are you an idiot? What, are you stupid? You're so stupid! (He throws a punch at the mirror, smashing it.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Brass: What about Adam Brenner? Logos Player: No, he wasn't there. Sara: But you lost to him, too. Brass: Maybe you took that loss even harder. Logos Player: Adam? No way. He's ranked, what, 1,890? It's like getting art lessons from Picasso. I was honored to even be sitting at the same table with him. (Surprised by this remark, SARA and BRASS look at each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- DAY] (NICK works on putting a composite of the living room together, rebuilding the set-up from the photos of the burned room.) (He puts the couch down into the room. He sets the Ignition Point and Starts the Simulation by putting the couch on fire. He monitors the room temperature.) (He shakes his head. The heat in the kitchen is at 650+ degrees while the Living Room is at 841+ degrees.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM #605 -- DAY] (WARRICK interviews MARTHA JAMES.) Warrick: Ma'am, earlier you provided us with a urine sample. We found traces of nicotine in yours. Martha James: That's odd because I don't smoke. Warrick: Really? Would you mind opening your purse for me? (She opens her purse and finds the open pack of cigarettes inside. She looks at WARRICK.) Martha James: You know what? I do too smoke cigarettes. [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (CATHERINE interviews JESSICA ABERNATHY.) Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy, did your daughter have attention deficit disorder? Jessica Abernathy: Sabrina? No. That girl had the focus like you can't believe. Catherine: Well, we found Ritalin in her system, and as I'm sure you're aware, ritalin is used to treat kids with ADD, but acts as a stimulant in older kids and adults. Teens use it as an upper. Jessica Abernathy: So, Sabrina was taking drugs? Catherine: As were you. Valium. Jessica Abernathy: Fair enough. You know, Sabrina used to scream at me, "I can't wait till I'm old enough to move out of here." And I would scream back, "yeah, me either." What kind of mother says that to her kid? Catherine: One with a teenage daughter. Jessica Abernathy: You know what I pictured for this part of my life? S ... Saturday night, leave the kids with grandma, date night with my husband. Instead, I'm stuck home alone with two kids and a 70-year-old infant. Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy ... are you covering for your mother? Jessica Abernathy: Part of me wants to say yes, please just take her away. Let her be the state's problem. You know, she leaves the stove on, and she leaves the water running. I come home, and I find little burn marks in things. But I was with her the whole night. I never saw her smoke. Catherine: Maybe after you went to bed, she came out into the living room. (Quick flash to: MARTHA JAMES sleeping on the couch with a lit cigarette in her fingers. The cigarette burns down to the filter, she drops the cigarette into the couch and forgets about it. She gets up.) (End of flash. Resume to present.) Jessica Abernathy: I doubt it. Catherine: But it's a possibility? Jessica Abernathy: No. It isn't. Miss Willows, you can go ahead and judge me, but after my mother falls asleep at night, I lock her in her room. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY] (NICK is in the lab opening an evidence bag. CATHERINE walks into the room.) Catherine: Any luck? Nick: Yeah, the bad kind. My burn scenarios don't match up with your data. Catherine: Did you try different variables? Nick: Ahah. Open windows, uh, drafts from vents, all of it. Here's the problem. (NICK holds out the melted refrigerator magnet. He puts it on a metal sheet along with other melted magnets. He puts a heavy magnet on the sheet and tilts it. The melted magnets fall off onto the counter.) Nick: Demagnetized. Catherine: I'm not following. Nick: Okay, the Curie point is the temperature at which all materials lose their magnetic properties, yeah? Catherine: Mm-hmm. Nick: Okay. For the iron in these, the temperature would had to have been 932 degrees in that kitchen. (Quick flash to: [KITCHEN] The kitchen is on fire and the refrigerator magnets fall off the door. End of flash. Resume to present.) Nick: With the fire starting in the living room, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get it that hot in there. It just doesn't make sense. Catherine: Unless the fire didn't start on the living room couch. [SCENE_BREAK] [EXT. LAS VEGAS COMMUNITY (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE -- DAY] (NICK removes the ceiling light cover to show the single light melted light bulb inside.) Catherine: An incandescent light bulb will soften at around 900 degrees, and distend in the direction of the original heat source. (They turn and look back at the kitchen. They look back at the light bulb.) Catherine: How did we miss that? Nick: (shrugs) Living room was crammed with combustible materials. It received the most damage. It seems like the point of origin. Catherine: Let's dig in. (CATHERINE puts the flashlight down and hands NICK a shovel.) Nick: Yeah. (She takes her own shovel and they both get to work on digging through the rubble on the floor.) (As they clear through the dirt, ash, soot and broken glass, they find a word burned into the kitchen floor: BITCH.) (NICK and CATHERINE look at each other.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - TRACE LAB] (The entire portion of the linoleum kitchen floor with the word, BITCH, on it is in the trace lab. DAVID HODGES removes a black burned substance from the word and tests it.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM] (WARRICK and NICK are in the break room working on paperwork.) Catherine: (o.s.) Do you fondue? (CATHERINE hands the trace test results test to WARRICK.) Catherine: The accelerant was ethanol, methanol and petroleum jelly. Chafing dish fuel, like sterno. (Quick flash to: [KITCHEN] Someone paints the letters on the floor. The word is on fire. The entire kitchen burns. End of flash. Resume to present.) (CATHERINE opens the fridge and looks inside.) Catherine: So it has gone from intentional to accidental to personal. Who have we got? (She takes out a water and heads back to take a seat at the table.) (WARRICK whips out the photo of VIVA CHARLES.) Warrick: Nick's girlfriend. (NICK laughs.) Catherine: She's got no personal connection to the family. Nick: Well, Rick Chilson did call Sabrina a bitch when we were talking. Catherine: Charming. Nick: Yeah, he's an ass, but his alibi checks out. Surveillance at the Mirage has him playing poker the night of the fire. Catherine: What about Cody? Nick: He was right there with him. But I don't think that kid takes a breath without daddy's nod of approval. Catherine: What about suspects within the house? Warrick: Well, who's there? Grandma? I mean aside from being on lockdown, she's arthritic. I don't see her writing on the floor. What about Jessica? Catherine: She seems more frustrated than desperate. Frustration shows you still care. Nick: And the son, Sam? Catherine: I don't think so. "Bitch." It's such a teenage girl word. Warrick: That brings us back to Sabrina. Nick: Well, she did think the baseball team had it in for her. Her family life was no picnic. Warrick: What are you saying, she's on a kamikaze mission? Trying to take the whole family down with her? Catherine: I might be willing to buy that, but how do we prove it? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI -- LAB] (SARA has a box of the LOGOS game out on the table. She uses ADAM BRENNER'S notes to reconstruct the game. On the table next to her is a list of the 2004 PLAYER MATCHING.) 14-APR-04 ALAN DERSHON VS. RAY ADAMS REGGIE LENSEN VS. LOUIE RAYCOMB GEORGE HANSEN VS. RICK WESTEL ROBERT TRIGGS VS. PAUL BYERS HENRY CROSSER VS. BOB GOOD KURT HESTEGARD VS. LANCE BOTHEL LESTER RINEHART VS. RON HENRY VAN HOSKINS VS. BILL JONES PETER HINES VS. JOSEPH HICKS DOUG HESTE VS. BURT KLEIN ADAM BURROWS VS. WILSON JANEK WILLIAM LEWIS VS. ADAM WESTEL TOM CESTER VS. DANNY RIGGS DARREL WALTERS VS. PACO WESCOTT LES MOONVES VS. CHRIS CARDAMO- SCOTT WENDOVER VS. PETER BOSCO AVERY PIERCE VS. JOE DICAPRIO TED BUNDY VS. FRANK LEWIS DAN O'MALLY VS. LOUIS - etc. (SARA reconstructs the game. She studies ADAM BRENNER'S word list notes.) [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CSI - A/V LAB] (SARA shares her findings with GRISSOM. On the overhead projector, she has ADAM BRENNER'S word list up on the wall.) Sara: Adam Brenner was a meticulous note-taker. He documented every turn of every game he ever played. Grissom: How many words used the letters we found in Adam's body? Sara: None, actually, at least none with that exact combination. But here's the weird part. One the games didn't add up. (SARA puts the word list and a photo of CRAIG up on the overhead.) Sara: When Adam played Craig, he had 60 points written down that I couldn't account for. And on that same page of his notebook, I noticed that something had been erased. (She points to the word: RESIFT (3).) Sara: So I ran it through ESDA. Adam played "exvin." Everything but the "S," 60 points. Grissom: What's an "exvin"? Sara: You know, I was kind of hoping you'd know. It's not in the OED. Grissom: Well, according to the rules, if you play a bluff and your opponent challenges, you have to take the tiles back, you lose a turn and a minute off your game clock. No points. Sara: Right, and later in that same game, Craig played an "X." Loxodrome. Now there's only one "X" per game. How did he get it? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. CRAIG'S HOTEL ROOM] (SARA goes through CRAIG'S LOGOS set.) Craig: What are you looking for? Sara: A six-letter word. (GRISSOM goes through CRAIG'S things and finds a gun. He picks it up and holds it up.) Grissom: P-I-S-T-O-L? It's not the word we were looking for, but it's interesting. (Near the tip of the gun, GRISSOM sees some dried blood.) Grissom: It's got blood on it. Craig: It's a replica. I belong to a communist club. We collect replicas from the fall of the soviet union. And I found that tokarev downtown at a pawn shop. Grissom: Hmm. A fake gun for a fake word? (Quick flashback to: [TOURNAMENT] ADAM BRENNER plays a word: EXVIN. He stops the clock.) Craig: Exvin? Adam Brenner: A wine afficionado who no longer drinks. Exvin. (CRAIG adds an S to the word. He smiles.) Craig: Exvin-S. (ADAM BRENNER immediately raises his hand.) Adam Brenner: Challenge! (Realizing that he's been set-up, CRAIG glares at ADAM.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Sara: There are six letters missing from your game box. E-X-V I-N-S. You made Adam eat his word. (Quick flashback to: [BATHROOM] ADAM flushes the toilet and turns around. CRAIG walks up to him and hits him in the mouth.) Craig: Yeah, huh? You think you're so clever? I'll let you have some Exvins for dinner. (He shoves the gun into his stomach and forces the letter pieces down his throat.) Craig: Here. Huh! (He continues to shove the letters down his throat. Then ADAM chokes.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Craig: I just wanted to make it as hard for him to swallow as it was for me. Karmic retribution. Sara: Did you do anything to help him after he started choking? Craig: No. I thought it was another fake-out. Grissom: How about after he fell down on the floor and stopped breathing? (CRAIG says nothing.) Out of words? [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. ABERNATHY RESIDENCE - KITCHEN -- DAY] (CATHERINE and WARRICK are back at the house. They each have an ALS and are looking through the house.) Catherine: This is old school hydrocarbon detection. Warrick: Oh, yeah. Catherine: Chafing dish fuel is alcohol-based, but water would have washed away any trace. Warrick: Let's just hope that whomever wrote it touched something else. Catherine: Well, it's the only shot we've got, I guess. (They find something on the bedroom door knob.) Catherine: Hmm. Take a look at this. Warrick: Well, that's good shooting. (CATHERINE opens the bedroom door and walks into SAM'S room.) (They use the ALS inside the bedroom and find something in the trash.) Catherine: Oh. (She looks at WARRICK.) Hit the jackpot. Warrick: I've got some smudges over here, too. (He shines the light on the bed. Hidden under the mattress, they find dozens of matchbooks and a plastic lizard.) Catherine: Mom was locking the wrong door. [SCENE_BREAK] [INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- DAY] (JESSICA talks with her son.) Jessica Abernathy: They're going to ask you some questions about the fire at our house. And you'd better start talking, mister. (CATHERINE opens the door and calls JESSICA out of the room.) Catherine: Mrs. Abernathy, would you come with me, please? (JESSICA ABERNATHY stands up and leaves SAM. The door closes behind her.) (The door opens and WARRICK enters the room carrying a file folder and a mug. He sits at the table opposite SAM.) Warrick: Hey, Sam. (WARRICK puts the mug down on the table in front of SAM. He opens the file folder.) Warrick: You okay? (SAM stares at WARRICK.) (WARRICK reaches into his jacket pocket and takes out a box of matches.) Warrick: So tell me, what kind of things you like to do on the weekends? (WARRICK empties the box of matches onto the table in front of SAM.) Sam Abernathy: Watch tv, hang out, play. (WARRICK lights a match and holds it up in front of SAM.) Warrick: Like to play with matches? Sam Abernathy: Sometimes. Warrick: Why is that? Sam Abernathy: Fire is cool. Warrick: Yeah. (WARRICK throws the match into the mug of water, extinguishing it.) (SAM looks expectantly at WARRICK. WARRICK nods. SAM picks up the box of matches. He picks up a match and lights it. He puts it out in the mug of water.) Warrick: You ever have trouble sleeping at night? Sam Abernathy: Only when I got woken up. (SAM picks up and lights another match.) Warrick: Is that what happened Saturday? (SAM nods.) (Quick flashback to: [BEDROOM] SABRINA knocks on the back door. SAM looks outside.) Sabrina Abernathy: I lost my key. Let me in. (SAM opens the back door for SABRINA.) Sabrina Abernathy: Thanks, dude. (She walks into the room. SAM shuts the door behind her.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) (SAM strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) Warrick: Couldn't go back to bed? Sam Abernathy: I got a little bit hungry. (Quick flashback: [KITCHEN] SAM looks through the cupboards and takes out a box of something. In the back of the same shelf is the CHAFING DISH FUEL in a small container.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: What'd you find? Sam Abernathy: Purple jelly. Warrick: Purple jelly? (SAM strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) Warrick: Did you eat it? Sam Abernathy: No. Mom uses it for the chocolate pot on our birthdays. Warrick: That sounds like fun. Sam Abernathy: Yeah ... except stupid grandma isn't allowed to have chocolate, so we couldn't do it this year. Warrick: Oh ... that must've made you mad. Sam Abernathy: Ever since grandma moved in, we can't do anything fun. Warrick: So, what happened next? Sam Abernathy: I played for a while. (Quick flashback to: [KITCHEN] SAM takes a handful of the fuel and writes on the kitchen floor: BITCH.) (He lights a match and sets the word on fire. SAM gets up and leaves.) (End of flashback. Resume to present.) Warrick: Then what? Sam Abernathy: I went to bed ... (SAM perks up) ... and then the firemen came and rescued us. Warrick: You like when the firemen come? Sam Abernathy: (excited) Yeah. They're so nice. They talked to me and showed me all their cool stuff. This one named George -- he said maybe someday I can meet his dog. Warrick: You know, Sam ... that word that you wrote on the floor ... [OBSERVATION ROOM] (JESSICA listens and cries.) Warrick: you know, that's a really bad word. Sam Abernathy: I hear it all the time. My grandma says it. (In the interview room, SAM strikes a match and puts it out in the mug.) Sam Abernathy: My mom says it. (SAM strikes another match and puts it out in the mug.) Sam Abernathy: And my sister says it. (He strikes another match.) Sam Abernathy: Well... she used to say it. (He blows the match out and watches the smoke rise up from the burned match. He drops it into the mug.)

When a teenage girl is killed in a house fire, Catherine, Nick and Warrick suspect a serial arsonist. Among their suspects are the girl's demented grandmother, a female pyromaniac and the high school baseball team. Meanwhile Grissom and Sara investigate the death of a champion in a popular word game, who is found dead in the men's room with several game tiles in his throat and stomach.

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[ The cafeteria ] Leonard: Oh, hey, oh, we ran into your mom at Benihana last night. Howard: Oh, yeah, she loves that place. Every time they flip a shrimp in the air, she practically leaps out of her seat to catch it. That's why I don't take her to SeaWorld. Leonard: I know you-you don't want to hear it, but she was there with Stuart. Howard: That's fine. I don't care. Raj: It doesn't bug you when they go out on dates? Howard: They're not dating. They're just two friends who went out to dinner. Raj: And then went back to the home they share where they probably fell asleep in the matching pajamas she got them because they both just love penguins. Howard: Hey, lots of people wear matching pajamas who aren't dating. Raj: Like who? Howard: Like you and your dog. Leonard: Don't rule out the dating. Howard: Fine, it bothers me. You happy? Sheldon: You think you've got problems. The gibbon is the only member of the ape family not classified as a great ape. Howard: How is this helpful? Sheldon: All the non-human apes are classified as great apes except one. That means taxonomists created the entire category of lesser ape just to single out the poor gibbon as the weird kid on the playground. Now there's a hairy little fellow with a genuine beef. Leonard: But the gibbon doesn't know what it's categorized as. It doesn't even know it's called a gibbon. Sheldon: True. Sorry, kid, you've got it worse than a gibbon. [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ We built the Wall ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] ♪ Bang! ♪ [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's Apartment ] Amy: Hi. Penny: Hey. Bernadette: We brought snacks for movie night. Penny: Oh, great. I don't suppose you also brought napkins, clean bowls, utensils and a roll of toilet paper. Bernadette: Right here. Penny: Ah, You guys are the best. Amy: What's with the clothes? Penny: Well, with all the new stuff I bought for work, I needed to make room in my closet. Amy: I meant why are they folded? But whatever. Ooh, what's this? Penny: That, believe it or not, is my prom dress. Bernadette: Wow, you still have it? I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere. Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was? Bernadette: Slutty. Amy: Easy. Penny: The word is popular. Bernadette: How was your prom? Did you go? Amy: No, but I was on clean-up crew. Penny: Aw, that's sad. Amy: No, it was okay. The DJ let me dance one slow song with my mop before he shut down. Whenever I see a bucket of dirty water, I still hear Lady in Red. Bernadette: My prom was pretty terrible, too. I was so excited about my date, but it turned out he only asked me 'cause he liked my friend. He spent the whole night talking about her. Amy: Okay, we get it, you had a friend and a date. Stop bragging. Penny: Doesn't matter. Prom is silly anyways. Bernadette: Easy for you to say; you probably went with the captain of the football team. Penny: No. I just made out with him a little while his date was puking. Amy: My date would've had to clean that up. Bernadette: Ooh, I have an idea. Maybe we can have, like, a prom do-over. Amy: Oh, that would be so much fun. We could decorate the roof and make the guys wear tuxedos. Bernadette: Ooh, and get our hair done, and slow-dance. Penny: Okay, guys, trust me, as someone who's been to, like, seven proms, it is never as good as you want it to be. Amy: You went to seven proms? Penny: Yeah, let's see. Uh, four Under the Seas, two Enchanted Evenings, and one Night to Remember that I cannot remember for the life of me. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Howard: Hey. Raj: Hey. Leonard: Hey, where's Bernadette? Howard: She and Amy are out dress shopping for their prom thing. Raj: Oh, yeah, I got that Evite. Ever since I saw Pretty in Pink, I've wanted to go to an American prom. But then I saw Carrie, and I did not want to go to an American prom. But then I saw Never Been Kissed, and I'm back on the prom bandwagon. This prom thing's been a real roller coaster. Howard: Bernie's really excited. I could tell because her voice got so high, the beagle next door started howling. Raj: Did you go to your prom? Sheldon: No. I had a date with a proper education. Instead of a tuxedo, I dressed myself in good habits. Instead of spiked punch, I enjoyed the intoxicating flavour of knowledge. Instead of dancing in a gym, I shook my bootyto the seductive rhythms... Penny: Okay, okay. Shldon: ...of AP Calculus. Raj: How come you're not shopping with Amy and Bernadette? Leonard: Let me guess, you think the whole idea is lame? Penny: Well, who cares what I think? What do you think? Leonard: Hmm, to be honest, it's kind of a dream come true to go to even a fake prom with a woman as beautiful as you. Penny: Ugh, thanks a lot. Leonard: What? Penny: Well, now I can't blow this thing off without being a bitch. Raj: That sounds like a yes. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Howard and Bernadette's apartment ] Bernadette: Ooh, every single person RSVP'd yes. This is so exciting. Isn't this exciting? Howard: Yep. Bernadette: Look, even Stuart's bringing a date. I wonder who it is. Howard: You know exactly who it is. He's gonna bring my mom. Why did you even invite him? Bernadette: Because he's our friend, and you two need to get along. And why can't he take your mom? You took her to your prom. Howard: I didn't take her, she was a chaperone. Bernadette: I saw a picture of you two dancing together. Howard: What was I gonna do? They were playing our song. I can't take this anymore. Stuart (on phone): Hello. Howard: Stuart, we have to talk. This thing with you and my mom, I hate it. It's making me crazy. You and I were friends for years, and now you're bringing my mother to a party I'm going to? What the hell? Stuart: I'm not bringing your mother, I have a date. Howard: Oh, so now you're cheating on my mother? Stuart: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on with me and your mother. Mrs Wolowitz (O.C.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold! Stuart: I got to go, bye. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? (Knock, knock, knock) Penny? Penny: You knocked more than usual. Sheldon: Next time I might be in a rush, it's good to have a few in the bank. Penny: Okay, what's up? Sheldon: I'd like to discuss this party that Amy and Bernadette are throwing. Since you and I are both reluctant to go, I think I've come up with a perfect way for us to enjoy it. Penny: Great, how? Sheldon: We pretend we're aliens. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I'm gonna say that you love it and want to hear more. Now, in the beloved novel Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, an alien named Ford Prefect pretended to be human in order to blend in so that he could write an entry about Earth for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which is a travel book within the actual book, which is also called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Penny: Okay, just one question. What? Sheldon: My point is, pretending to be an alien is a valuable coping mechanism I've used many times. I did it the first time I went to see you in a play. You had no idea Commander Umfrumf of Ceti Alpha Three was in the audience. Oh, don't worry, he gave you seven thumbs up. Penny: Here's a question, as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy? Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals? Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always. Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it. Penny: You're kidding. Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The apartment ] Leonard: You know, if you're not gonna learn how to do this, they make some pretty good clip-ons. Sheldon: Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on. Leonard: Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie it for him. Sheldon: His name is Alfred, and, yes, he does. Leonard: There, perfect. Sheldon: What, are you sure? It's my first prom, I want to do it correctly. Leonard: I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien. Sheldon: I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody. Leonard: Was that a flask? Sheldon: Yes. I've decided to embrace all of the traditions associated with prom, including spiking the punch. Leonard: You're gonna put alcohol in the punch? Sheldon: Oh, no, this is pomegranate juice. It's all the fun of high school high jinks with the cell-protecting zip of antioxidants. Leonard: If you had ripped jeans and a leather jacket, you'd be like the toughest kid on the Disney Channel. So, anything else planned for tonight? Sheldon: Oh, everything. Getting our picture taken, slow-dancing, being elected prom king. Pointing out that kings aren't elected. It's gonna be off the hook. Leonard: And while you're at it, I know that at this age your hormones are raging, but just because all your friends are having s*x doesn't mean you have to. Sheldon: Why would you say that? Leonard: You know, 'cause, 'cause a lot of people lose their virginity on prom night. Sheldon: Penny implied the same thing. Is this true? Leonard: Just relax, it's a joke. You don't have hormones. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Penny's apartment ] Leonard: Wow, you look amazing. Penny: Thank you, so do you. Amy: Sheldon, you look so handsome. Sheldon: Thank you. Penny: Sheldon, doesn't Amy look hot? That's got to put some starch in the upper flermin. Amy: What's that? Leonard: Oh, it's a scaly genital organ that grows between his shoulder blades. Try not to touch it when you're dancing. Sheldon: Excuse me. Amy: Where are you going? Sheldon: I can't do this. And for your information, Leonard, the upper flermin doesn't grow between my shoulder blades, it grows out of the belly button on my neck. Leonard: He's right, I was thinking of the lower flermin. [SCENE_BREAK] [ A limo ] Raj: Ooh, I'll, uh, text Stuart, let him know we're close. Bernadette: That's a neat tattoo. Emily: Oh, thanks, it's Sally from Nightmare before Christmas. Bernadette: Aw, that movie's so cute. Howard: Do you like her because you both have red hair? Emily: Uh, a little, but more that she's covered in scars and can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on. Bernadette: I like Cinderella. Emily: Did you know, in the original book, the sisters cut off their toes with knives in order to fit in the glass slipper? Bernadette: I like Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo. Raj: Hey, here comes Stuart and his date. Emily: Oh, she's cute. Howard: Oh, my God. Bernadette: What? Howard: That's Jeanie. Bernadette: That's Jeanie? Emily: Who's Jeanie? Howard: Don't say it. Raj: That's Howard's cousin that he had s*x with. Howard: She is my second cousin. We were 15, I just said, don't say it. Emily: No, it's okay. He told me that story a long time ago. Howard: Raj. Raj: It was our first date, there was an awkward silence. What was I supposed to say? [SCENE_BREAK] [ The rooftop ] Penny: Oh, it's beautiful. Leonard: Oh, the girls really did a nice job. Penny: Aw, I know I wasn't into this before, but I'm so glad I get to take you to your first prom. Leonard: What makes you think I didn't go to my prom? I went. Penny: Well, who'd you go with? Leonard: I took a little lady I like to call loneliness. Penny: Aw. Leonard: Oh, it's all right. We ended up having a threesome with her friend humiliation, so... Penny: Well, if I would have been there and saw you alone, I would've asked you to dance. Leonard: No, you wouldn't have. Penny: Well, you don't know that. Leonard: It was before my growth spurt. Penny: What, that already happened? Leonard: Very funny. Penny: Well, you wouldn't have asked me either. Leonard: I would have asked you. In my head. On the way home. While I was having a good cry. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Sheldon's bedroom ] Amy: Sheldon, can I come in? Sheldon: I don't think that's a good idea. Amy: Why not? Sheldon: According to an online message board, I may be having a panic attack. SoccerMom09 had similar symptoms. But to be fair, the twins were a real handful that day. Amy: You're making me worry. What's going on? Sheldon: What's going on is we're about to go to a prom. And there's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called making whoopee. Amy: What pressure? All I said was you look handsome. Can you please open the door? Sheldon: It's not just that. Leonard and Penny also made comments about it. And I'm not blind. Even I looked twice when I saw my posterior in these tuxedo pants. Sceme: The limo. Stuart: So, I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys'. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and I almost plotzed on the kugel. Rajj: Is this what I sound like when I talk about India? Howard: So, my mother's okay with this? Jeannie: Why would your mother have a problem with me and Stuart? Howard: 'Cause they have a weird, inappropriate relationship. Jeannie: Weirder than what you and I did in my dad's Corolla? Raj: This is so messed up. Emily: I know, I'm having the best time. Howard: Why would you even come to this? Didn't you know I'd be here? Jeannie: It was a long time ago, Howard. Stuart: And you're only second cousins, who cares? Bernadette: So, you knew and you brought her anyway? Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard, but not for me? Howard: Yeah. Bernadette: Yeah, go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf. Howard: Yeah. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The rooftop ] Penny: Well, I might not have asked you to dance then, but I will ask you now. Leonard: There's no music. Penny: I don't care. We'll make our own music. Leonard: My God, who's the dork now? Thank you for wearing your flats. Penny: Thank you for wearing your heels. Leonard: Look at me. Dancing with the prettiest girl at the prom. Penny: Want to take a picture of us and send it to your old friends in the chess club? Leonard: I sent them a bikini shot of you years ago. This is nice. I kind of wish no one else was coming. Penny: I know, me, too. But it will be fun to have a prom without all the drama. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The limo ] Bernadette: Howie, get off of him. Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree. [SCENE_BREAK] [ Sheldon's bedrooom ] Amy: Sheldon, this is silly. I'm not missing another prom. I'm going upstairs now. Good-bye. Sheldon: I really did think you looked pretty. Amy: You did? Sheldon: Yes. So much so that I started to panic. Amy: Well, you can relax. Just because you think I look pretty doesn't mean we have to spend the night together. Sheldon: Were you hoping we would because it's prom? Amy: I'm always hoping. But tonight I just wanted to have a nice time with you. And maybe dance with someone who has arms. Sheldon: Thank you for understanding. Amy: Of course I understand. Sheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just, I want you to know that you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates... Sheldon: I love you, too. Amy: You said it. Sheldon: There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more farfetched. The only conclusion was love. I know what's happening. This is a panic attack. SoccerMom09 says to lie down with your feet elevated. Amy: Okay. Sheldon: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just because I love you doesn't mean girls are allowed in my room. [SCENE_BREAK] [ The rooftop ] Raj: Okay. Here we go... Say "Cheese"! Say "Cheese"! Say "Cousin"! Say... Stuart: Oh, sorry. Hang on, sorry. (On phone) Hey, Debbie. I, yeah, yeah, I'm here with Jeanie. Okay, but we're just friends. It's, yeah. I got to go.

After finding Penny's old prom dress the girls decide to have a new prom on the roof. Sheldon is worried about the post-prom mating activities that he feels Amy will expect and has a panic attack after he sees how pretty Amy is. Amy reassures him he is under no pressure, but she does hope they will have intimacy one day. She also wants to tell Sheldon something, even if he can't say it back. Sheldon surprises her by saying he loves her. Amy is shocked, then starts having a panic attack of her own. Howard is not happy since he figures Stuart will bring his mother. Stuart embarrasses him by bringing Howard's second-cousin Jeanie, the girl Howard lost his virginity to. Howard attacks Stuart in the limo for having relationships with his family members. A jealous call from Debbie causes Stuart to abandon Jeanie at the prom. Emily reveals she loves the darker versions of fairy tales, disturbing Bernadette. Leonard and Penny dance together romantically though no music is playing. They admit that they probably wouldn't have approached each other to dance if they had met at their proms, but are happy together now.

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CRU - Street Rusty : I'm telling you, Baldwin's rules for ring closure, they don't even apply. Dr. Albert's wrong. Dale : Then somebody better change Baldwin's rules between now and the final. Rusty : Dr. Albert is not infallible, Dale. Dale : If you define "infallible" as I do in this situation as in "holds my future in her hands," then yes, she is. What you looking at? Dr. Albert? Did she hear you say she wasn't infallible? Please, Lord, grant me invisibility... Rusty : No. It's the girl from my American lit class. Just don't stare so much. Dale : That girl right there? I hate to say this, but I liked it better when you weren't on the prowl. Rusty : That's the Moby Dick girl. Dale : I'm not real sure I'm comfortable with that statement either. Rusty : Last week, in my American lit class, Mr. Ellman pointed to me and he's like, "Mr. Cartwright," and I said, "No, please call me Ishmael." Both : Emma cracked up. Dale : It's such a good story. Every time. Rusty : She got the joke. I think she gets me. You know how rare that is? Dale : No, not really. But what I do know is that obsessing, particularly in the carnal realm, distracts the mind from important matters, like solid-state chemistry. Rusty : My work in solid-state chemistry is not suffering because of Emma. Dale : Well, mine is. If you like this girl, for heaven's sake, and mine, just ask her out. Rusty : She laughed at my joke, she didn't give me her phone number. Look how she closes her book first, and then takes her last sip of coffee. Dale ? No ! Dale : She'll meet you for coffee tonight at the espresso farm, don't thank me. Let's start with exo-digs, you take favored, I'll take unfavored. You wanna sit down or you wanna just keep standing here? Come on. ZBZ HOUSE - Living room Frannie : What's going on? Casey : Caroline, Laurie, and Amy have been invited to Lambda Sig pink rose formal. Frannie : It's fantastic. Ashleigh : We're finally moving out of the social dog house. Under the amazing leadership of Casey Cartwright. Frannie : So when do we call the Omega Chis? To build on the momentum? The Lambda Sigs are the second hottest house on campus. Now that they've officially taken us off Greek death row with these invitations, this is the perfect time to push for a full pardon by setting up a mixer with the first hottest house... the Omega Chis. If you thought that was a good idea. Casey : Actually, I think it's a... terrible idea. ZBZ Girl : But the Omega Chis are a rightful social counterpart. Casey : Rightful social counterpart B.J.K. Ashleigh : "Before Jen K." Casey : And the shunning Omega Chi gave us after the article was published? Not to mention B.P.H. Ashleigh : Before... Paris Hilton? Casey : Before public humiliation? The back-to-school carnival. Am I the only one who remembers the kissing booth debacle? The way the Omega Chis publicly humiliated us? Why should we reward them for treating us like that? No, ladies. ZBZs will find their way to the top on their own merits. And in the meantime... We can celebrate, and strengthen from within. How about a game night? We can order pizza, bake cookies... Frannie : Great, that sounds great. It sounds great. Credits CRU - Dale & Rusty's room Rusty : 7:00, 8:00.? 7:00 sounds great. No. That's fine. Yeah, all right. I'll see you then. All right, bye. She wants to bring her roommate along on our date. Dale : That can't be a good sign. Rusty : If she didn't want to be alone with me, why didn't she just break the date? Dale : Pity can be a pretty powerful emotion. Or... She likes you so much already, she wants to show you off. Rusty : All right, maybe I should bring somebody to... To keep her roommate busy. So I can have a little one-on-one time with Emma. Dale : That's à good idea. Maybe get one of your frat bros to go along. Rusty : No, I don't wanna have to explain how this whole stupid date thing happened to any of the guys at the fraternity. Especially if it's go up in flames. How about you go with me? You're the one who got me into this. Dale : Rusty, I know you haven't been able to see me in action. You know, pure girls being somewhat in short supply here at CRU. I'm known in certain circles as quite the ladies' man. I wouldn't wanna show you out there. Rusty : What circles are those? Dale : Purity pledge circles. I was voted "most likely to have the opportunity to become impure, but have the supreme self-control not to" three years running in high school. I just don't want to risk our friendship over some girl. Rusty : I'm willing to take the risk. Dale : All right, then. If that's the way you want it, roomie. But be forewarned. I have no control over this charisma. ZBZ HOUSE - Hallway Rebecca : That sounds terrible. Poor thing! So I'll call you later. That was Cappie. He's sick. Casey : Yeah, I'm suddenly feeling a little nauseous myself. Rebecca : Not having a boyfriend is nothing to get yourself upset about. You don't need a man to have a fulfilling life. You could be the next mother Teresa or Rosie O'Donnell. Caroline and Mandy have already left for the movies yet? Casey : Wait, you're not going to see Cappie? Rebecca : He's sick. Casey : Really? OK. I saw Mandy... Rebecca : What? Casey : It's just... When Cappie and I were together, I always took care of him when he was sick. But... He's probably not even thinking about that right now. Maybe you can just send him a nice warm e-card. I'm sure it'd mean a lot to him. CRU - Garden Ashleigh : Okay, I'm here. So what's with all the secrecy? Frannie : We needed to talk somewhere away from the house. I'm worried about Casey. Ashleigh : Frannie, I know you've supposedly gone through this whole personality overhaul thing, but I'm kind of weirded out when you start talking about your concern for Casey. Frannie : This is not about me. Didn't you notice how everyone was looking at her when she nixed mixing with the Omega Chis? And I know you heard someone call her "Lizzi." Ashleigh : So? Casey, Lizzi. It's an understandable mistake. Frannie : Casey is seriously being blinded to what's good for the house and herself by this Evan-shaped mental block. Which I know I helped to put there. That's why I'm doing everything I can to get everyone back to their rightful places. Ashleigh : If you feel so strongly about this, why don't you talk to Casey about it? Frannie : Because she might be kind of weirded out. Don't let her blow this opportunity, Ash. ZBZ HOUSE - Ashleigh & Casey's room Casey : Not wanting to have a mixer with the Omega Chis couldn't possibly have anything to do with my feelings for Evan. I don't have feelings for Evan. It doesn't matter to me if he's arrogant, or rude, or dismissive... I don't even notice. Ashleigh : Yeah, I can see that. Did you know that Amanda gets PE credits for massaging the varsity boys during swim meets? We should just go... Casey : The Omega Chis publicly humiliated the ZBZs at the back-to-school carnival. Right? Ashleigh : From where I was standing, Case, it looked more like... Evan humiliated you. But I could be so wrong. Casey : No, Ash. You're right. It was about Evan and me. But he is an Omega Chi and I am a ZBZ. Ashleigh : Yes, you are. And you're the best president ever. Casey : And there are 50 other girls in this sorority, who didn't get dissed and who want to resume relations with the Omega Chis. Ashleigh : 50 hot, desirable Omega Chis, including Calvin, who might be waiting for an opportunity to disagree with Evan Chambers. Casey : That part would be gratifying. Ashleigh : I'm social chair. I can extend the invitation. Casey : Thanks Ash, but this isn't just about the party. It's about normalizing relations. I need to do it. I can do it. Ashleigh : Wanna go fondle some swimmers first? Casey : You are such a good friend. CRU - Café Emma : So how did you meet? Rusty : Did you guys meet here? You can go first. Emma : No, you first. Dale : Luck of the draw. Housing office saw fit to put us two brainiacs on the engineering dorm. Rusty : Dale, we don't need... Dale : Honors floor. I got a 2210 on my sats. Rusty here got about the same. Tina : I got 2250. Dale : 780 in math. Tina 790. Rusty : Dale's very proud of his accomplishments. Emma : It's okay. Tina's not easily intimidated. Rusty : I see that. Emma : So how are you liking american lit? Rusty : Honestly, I am finding Moby Dick a little long and kinda stiff. I can't believe I just said that. Emma : I say things I don't mean to say all the time. Why do you think I don't talk in class? Rusty : Well, I just figured you were so far ahead of the discussion, you were just waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. Emma : I wish. Mostly I'm just trying to stay awake. Which I guess brings us back to Moby Dick being... Rusty : A little long and stiff. Tina : Is that what I think it is? Rusty : What, what is? Dale : His pledge pin? Or his scarlet letter, if you will? He's in a frat. Rusty : We prefer "fraternity." I'm pledging Kappa Tau Gamma. Tina : The Greek system should be banned from college campuses. Dale : You got a 2250 on your sats, and you're down on the Greeks? Emma : Well, the Greeks aren't so bad. Tina : Emma, they're this totally ritualistic, secretive society. Rusty : I think you may be taking it a little bit too seriously. Tina : You don't think it's serious when an organization takes monies from general students services fees, but doesn't allow all students to participate in its activities? Rusty : Well, the same could be said for most clubs on campus and sports teams. Emma : I could use some more coffee. Rusty : I can get that for you. Dale : You know, I've started an organization you may be interested in, U-Sag. Tina : U- sag? What does that stand for? Dale : University students against Greeks. CRU - Street Rusty : That was a complete disaster. Dale : Are you kidding? That was great. That Tina's a real spitfire. Rusty : Dale, this was supposed to be my date with the new girl, and it turned into the Greek inquisition. They didn't even want us to walk them back to their dorms. Emma : Hey Rusty ! Dale : If Tina wants to call me, tell her it's okay. I'm serious. Emma : I just wanted to apologize for abandoning you tonight. I'm not much good with confrontation. Rusty : Your roommate likes it enough for both of you. Emma : I know. I probably shouldn't have brought her. I didn't really know you, and anyway, I'm really sorry. See you in class? Rusty : Maybe we can try it again? Just you and me? Friday night? Emma : Sure. Why not? Dale : Did you tell her to call me? OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Hallway Evan : Casey ? Casey : Hey! Evan : Hey! Casey : I was looking for Dino. Evan : Dino? Casey : The Omega Chi president? Evan : Yeah, I know. I know who he is. He's not here right now. What did you want to talk to him about? Casey : Just some Greek business. If that's okay with you. Evan : Why wouldn't it be with me? Just that the OCs and the ZBZs aren't exactly doing business anymore. But if you want me to tell Dino you stopped by, I'll tell him. Casey : You know what? Never mind. I don't have to talk to him after all. KT HOUSE - Cappie's room Rebecca : Cap ? Cappie : That's my girl ? Rebecca : Hey ? Thought maybe you could use a massage or maybe a sponge... I thought you had a cold. Cappie : I do. I also have pink eye. Rebecca : Bummer. Well, there's some tea. I've gotta go. Cappie : Wait. What's under the white coat, doc? Rebecca : It's... nothing that should be seen through... Crust. Cappie : Is it really that bad? Okay, hold on. Here we go. Better? Rebecca : A little. What? Cappie : I didn't think that you'd come. Rebecca : Why not? Casey took care of you when you were sick, right? Cappie : Well, yeah, but, I mean, you're not... Tea! What is this, Earl Grey? Rebecca : It's chamomile. Is there anything else I can do for you? Cappie : I don't wanna impose. Let's see. Would you mind... Heating that up? Yeah, it's just a little cold. Thanks. And maybe some Chicken noodle soup in a cup, in, like, the mug, you know? It's always better when it's in a mug for when you're sick. With some of the little oyster crackers on top. I'm sorry. It's probably a good thing you wore the coat. ZBZ HOUSE - Living room Ashleigh : So the social committee is planning a game night, and I'm taking a poll on board games. Frannie : More like boring games. ZBZ Girl : What we should be planning is a great party with the Omega Chis. Casey : I couldn't agree more. Which is why I went to the Omega Chi house just now to discuss the possibility of mixing with us. Frannie : My God, that's fantastic. Casey : But they said no. Ashleigh : Really? Frannie : Did you talk to Dino? Casey : We're still poison as far as they're concerned. But who cares, right? We don't need the Omega Chis to be the best sority at CRU. We are the ZBZs. We have the Lambda Sigs. We have game night. Now I'm gonna go change my clothes. And then let's scatter some gories. Ashleigh : She did what she could. I guess. CRU - Dale & Rusty's room Rusty : CD, cD jacket. Think I'm set. Dale : Were you able to include any "Darwin lied"? Rusty : I tried, Dale, but damnation seems like a little bit of a romance killer. Dale : You know what Emma's gonna like, anyway? Rusty : I don't, which is why I emailed her a detailed questionnaire with multiple options in each musical category. She hasn't sent it back, though, so I thought I'd give her some choices that she can cross-reference while deciding. Dale : Man, that's my third email from Tina today. She's really chompin'at the U-Sag bit. I think she's gonna come by our meeting tomorrow. Rusty : I don't get the attraction. Tina's one of the most abrasive people I've ever met. Dale : I'm just not intimidated by strong women. And U-Sag is a big tent organization. CRU - Café Ashleigh : Oh Calvin ! Over here. Calvin : Let me just go grab some coffee. Ashleigh : No! Sit. Calvin : Or... not. Ashleigh : Why don't we have mixers anymore? Calvin : "We" meaning "you and I"? Ashleigh : "We" meaning ZBZ and Omega Chi. You guys totally shut down the idea of having a mixer with us? What's up with that? Calvin : I still have no idea what you're talking about. Ashleigh : Casey said that she got a seriously strong negative reaction from Dino when she invited you guys to mix with us. Calvin : Really? That's weird. When it comes to getting back together with the ZBZs, my sense is most of the guys are fine with it, including Dino. Ashleigh : I need you to do something for me. Calvin : Okay, let me just grab... Ashleigh : No. So this is what I need you to do. CRU - Emma & Tina's door Rusty : "Indelible." Crap. Girl : See you at dinner, Tina. Rusty : Hey Tina. Tina : What are you doing with our white board? Rusty : I just came by to drop off a CD for Emma, and it just fell off. And I thought I would just take it back to my dorm room, slap some adhesive on it, and bring it back. Tina : It fell? Rusty : Crazy? Good thing I was here. And I have adhesive in my room, so... I'm gonna go. Tina : I can't speak for Emma, but I really don't appreciate being part of these little frat pranks. Give me back my white board. Rusty : This has nothing to do with the fraternity. Tina : Then give it back. Don't you think it would have been simpler to just erase it? Rusty : Yes, but... Okay, I used their marker, and it's indelible. Who knew? Tina : Yeah, they're in the middle of this feud with these guys down the hall. Hey, if you could find one with a corkboard, that'd be great. Rusty : Hey, can you just give this to Emma for me? Tina : Any message? Something... Short and limp? Rusty : Just say it's from Rusty. Here. OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Meeting room Calvin : All right. Look, we all know the ZBZs have been looked down upon ever since the article. But it's old news. I think it's time we gave them a second chance. They're the same girls that we partied with last semester, and they're awesome. I just don't think we should keep punishing them for something that could have happened to any of us. Evan : I think my little brother is well-intentioned, but, in this particular case, missguided. I mean, come on, guys. The events of the past few months have just shown us who they really are. I mean, they're a house... That... Always puts their own interests first, and ultimately can't be trusted. I mean, no matter how much we might wanna trust them. Dino : Do you really believe that? Evan : Look, if this is about having a mixer, the Tri Pis are always available. Calvin : A little too available. Dino : Why don't we put it to a vote? All those in favor of continuing to shut out the ZBZs? All those opposed. ZBZs have it. ZBZ HOUSE - Ashleigh & Casey's room Casey : What, did they just announce a new season of "America's Next Top Model"? Ashleigh : Better! Kyle, the Omega Chi social chair, just came by to invite the Zeta betas to mix with them this weekend. Casey : Wow, that's... That's so not what they said before. But great. Ashleigh : We're gonna have to scramble a little to get the registration forms and keg application into the dean's office in time. But where there's a will, there's a way to get through with the new party restrictions. Right? Casey : Right. We're back on with the Omega Chis. I wonder how all of this happened. Ashleigh : Case, did you ever actually talk to Dino about a mixer? Casey : Why would you even ask me that? Ashleigh : 'cause I talked to Calvin. And from what he was hearing at the house, it didn't sound like you had. Casey : Let's go see that... That was really fun. Right? I really meant to. I wanted to. I went over there, and Evan answered the door, and he was all cold and judgey. I knew what I should say, but I couldn't talk. I couldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I wanted anything from him. Ashleigh : It's one night. One night that'll make two houses very happy. And all you have to do is sign our half of the registration forms and get through a few hours with Evan. And I have a plan for that. CRU - Dale & Rusty's room Rusty : Hey, guys. Emma loved the CD. I just got a text from her. "T-h-x" with an exclamation point. Sanjay : A bake sale? Ted : Car washes? Dale : Just keep reading. So I guess she wasn't phased by the white board incident. Rusty : I told you, Dale, she gets me. I just want to give her a couple more song choices before class. Sanjay : This is truly ambitious. Rusty : What are you guys doing? Dale : We're meeting with Tina later that afternoon about U-Sag. I just want the guys here to be up to speed on all our suggestions. Rusty : That's a lot of suggestions. Dale : Tina's a real dynamo. And I feel like, you know, it's my job now to harness all her energy. Sanjay : That sounds dirty. Ted : You think everything sounds dirty. Dale : Guys, could we focus? Tina : Dale? You ready? Dale : Come in. Hey. Let me introduce you to Sanjay and Ted. Sanjay : Hi. Ted : Hi. Tina : Sanjay, Ted. Ishmael. So are you guys ready to go? I had a bunch of posters made up. Dale : Posters? But, I mean, we haven't really went over... Tina : We gotta grow this thing. I've got a hammer, and the rest of you guys could just use your shoes. Come on, guys, let's go! Hurry up! Rusty : Nice harnessing. Got extra shoes? KT HOUSE - Living room Rebecca : Anybody know where the charger to Cappie's little video game machine is? Heath : Nope. Rebecca : I don't suppose you have any saltine crackers. Anybody? KT Guy : How 'bout some peanuts? They're warm. Rebecca : Works for me! Okay. I will pay anyone $200 to take this tray up to Cappie's room and watch Reba with him. We're on season five! Heath : No one goes into Cappie's room when he's sick. KT Guy : It's like going into the Bermuda Triangle. With germs. Heath : The only one brave enough to do that was... Rebecca : Casey. I know. KT Guy : I hear she never left his side. Heath : Yeah, she was a real angel of mercy. CRU - Classroom Rusty : Hey... Emma : Hey! Rusty : I also brought you a set of push pins. Because, look, it's got a corkboard on it. And a new set of dry erase pens. 'cause you don't want any more accidents. Emma : No, that's for sure. Thanks. Rusty : And I got you a cup of coffee. Careful. And a full selection of additives. Emma : Wow. Rusty : Last, but not least, here is a few more song samples, an updated hard copy of the cd questionnaire. I figured, since you hadn't responded, you were having trouble downloading the attachment. Emma : Rusty, this is amazing. The only bad thing is now I feel like a real jerk for having to postpone our date tonight. Rusty : Oh. Emma : I have a paper due on Monday for my philosophy class. And I... Thought I'd be a lot further along than I am. So now I have to work on it all weekend. I'm really sorry. Rusty : That's okay. When you're dating a student, you have to expect these kinds of things, right? Emma : Right. [SCENE_BREAK] OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Party Ashleigh : There, now you only have to come in contact with Evan once. When you check his ID. And stamp his hand. Or his face. Casey : Ash ! Ashleigh : Like you wouldn't love to. Rebecca : Nice to see the Greek world back on its axis. Casey : How's Cappie? Contagious? Rebecca : Probably. Whatever. Casey : Enjoy your soda. Rebecca : Thanks, Casey. Casey : This night not be so bad after all. Ashleigh : There's Calvin. Are you okay here? Casey : Sure, I'm fine. Have fun. Ashleigh : Thanks. Casey : Hey, Evan Let me just stamp your hand and then you can go get started. Evan : You're ZBZ party patrol? Casey : Your guy hasn't shown up yet. Evan : Actually, he has. It's me. OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Party Frannie : Oh, my God. Is this a reunion of... More than just our houses? Or just an incredibly awkward coincidence? Evan : You're holding up the line, Frannie. Ashleigh : Do you think people can really change? Calvin : Right now, I'm more concerned about having something that combustible so close to the alcohol. Ashleigh : I think they're gonna be okay. Let's go mingle. Evan : If you stamp that hard, it makes the ink wet. If the ink stays wet, it's easier for them to transfer stamps. Casey : If you guys had invested in wristbands instead of stamps, we wouldn't have to worry about it. Have fun. Evan : You didn't check her ID. Casey : She's over 21. I've known her for two years. Evan : It doesn't matter. You still have to check her ID. Casey : Right. I guess knowing someone for two years doesn't mean that much in the end. ZBZ Girl : I'm over 21, Casey. Casey : Beer is high in carbs and it makes you bloat. I'm doing you a favor. Evan : I guess you always gotta make me be the bad guy. So you can play the victim again. Man up, Condon. Casey : Whatever role I play, I have to be a mime, since you never stop accusing long enough to let me get a word in. Evan : You mean you think you have some... Some reasonable explanation for kissing Cappie after I lavaliered you? Casey : How about that I'm human? That I make mistakes? Like you did when you rush-humped Rebecca. Evan : Will you ever quit playing that card? I was never in love with Rebecca. Casey : You... move! Move! Just move! So? Ashleigh : Can I get re-stamped? Evan : Listen, it wasn't the same level of betrayal, okay? You obviously still had feelings for Cappie. Casey : And I still have feelings for Cappie, Evan. Just like I still have feelings for you. Maybe I always will. Unlike the super-human Evan Chambers, I don't seem to have control over how I feel about people. Most of the time however, I do have control over what I do about those feelings. And what I did was choose you. I thought that was the most important thing. Clearly, in your world, it isn't. And then you dumped me without trying to talk, without giving me the second chance I gave you. Evan : O'Toole. Perfect. You're gonna have to do this, man, you're it. I need a drink. KT HOUSE - Cappie's room Cappie : Dr. Logan. You're... A scary scandinavian woman. Nurse : It's nurse Von Lembke. But you can call me Helga. Cappie : Why would I wanna do that? Nurse : Rebecca Logan sent me. She said it's time for you to get well. Shall we start with the nasal irrigation? CRU - Dale & Rusty's room Rusty : Emma must be really working hard. She's not even answering her phone. I just hope she got that care package I sent her. Dale : Could you keep your voice down, please? Rusty : Why? Dale : 'cause Tina said she was coming over, and I do not want to talk to her. And put your phone on vibrate. Rusty : Whatever happened to "Not being intimidated by strong women", "Harnessing that dynamo"? Dale : She's trying to take over U-Sag. She emails me at least a dozen times a day. She put her email on all the flyers. Now she's even got Ted and Sanjay including a prayer for a greater U-Sag profile on campus in their daily intercessions. Rusty : Well, Dale, you just can't hide out here. You're eventually going to have to talk to her. Dale : No, I won't. Rusty : Are you just gonna will her away? Dale : I believe in science and creationism. My mind is a powerful instrument. Tina : Hello? It's Tina. Anybody in there? Dale : Don't say anything. Tina : Is that you, Dale? I'm actually here to see Rusty. Dale : It's a ruse. Don't fall for it. Do not let her in. Rusty : Don't be ridiculous, Dale. Tina : What's going on in there? Rusty : What's going on in there is that Dale wants U-Sag back. Tina : What are you talking about? Rusty : You... overstepping your boundaries. As much as I disagree with U-Sag, it's important to Dale. It's his brainchild. You took a simple invitation to join, and you ran wild with it. Tina : I thought that the goal was to get rid of the Greek system. Rusty : It is, unfortunately. But... Dale wants to do it his way. And you had no right to come in and pull the rug out from under him. The guy's freaked out. So you just need to back off. Tina : Yeah, well, I didn't come here to talk about U-Sag anyway. I came here to give you this. It's from Emma. Your care package. I mean, between the cd and the white board and the coffee and the questionnaire, and now this... I mean, you're scaring her. She wants you to back off. OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Party Evan : Frannie... What do you want? Frannie : To apologize. For screwing things up with you and Casey last semester. Evan : I don't even wanna think about me and Casey anymore. Frannie : Or maybe I can help. Evan kisses Frannie. Frannie : My... Not exactly what I had in mind. Evan : Really? Frannie : Look, Evan... You're a gorgeous guy, with many, many fine attributes. You're also... Clearly Still working out some issues. I'm not interested in being anyone's warm body. Evan : I got it. ZBZ HOUSE - Ashleigh & Casey's room Casey just woke up. OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Living room Calvin : Evan. Evan : I need my shoes. Where are my shoes? Calvin : Right there. Evan : Yes, okay. Calvin : You look like crap. Where are you going? Evan : I'm gonna go tell Casey I'm an idiot, and I want her back. Calvin : Good luck with that. OMEGA CHI HOUSE - Hallway Evan : Casey. You look amazing. Casey : I feel pretty amazing. I'm done, Evan. Evan : Done with what? Casey : With all this. I'm finished being angry with you. I woke up this morning and I finally realized no matter what I say or do, I can't change the past. Or how you feel about it. And I'm done trying. I'm finally ready to move on. Evan : Move on... From us? Casey : Yeah. Evan : And what if I was less of a jealous idiot? Casey : Then I'd think maybe we could be friends... If you think you can do that. Evan : Friends? Casey : Think about it. See ya around campus... Evan Chambers. CRU - Street Rusty : Hey, you're up early. Emma : I've got coffee, thanks. Rusty : This one's mine. Look, Emma... I just want to apologize for coming on so strong. I never meant to scare you or seem like a crazy person. Emma : That's okay. Rusty : Yeah, I guess I'm just... Overly enthusiastic. I really liked you. And I really liked being in a relationship when I was in one before. And I guess when it... Seemed like I might have a shot at a new one, I kind of jumped the gun. I'm sorry for the firearms metaphors. Emma : Don't worry about it. Rusty : Yeah, I don't know. It's probably obvious that... I don't have a lot of experience in the romance department. But I'm a fast learner. And maybe if I totally put the brakes on, we can try again. Emma : Yeah. No. But I'll see you in class, okay? ZBZ HOUSE - Hallway Casey : Frannie. Frannie : Casey. Casey : We need to talk. Frannie : About what? Casey : Do you still wanna move back into the house? Frannie : Yeah. Casey : Then do it. You're officially off probation. We're moving forward. KT HOUSE - Cappie's room Cappie : Good morning. Rebecca : What did you do to him? Nurse : You know the rules, Ms. Logan. What happens in Cappie's room stays in Cappie's room. Rebecca : Still contagious, right? Cappie : No, I was just wearing this because, apparently, Helga likes pirates. Rebecca : You two... Cappie : Did not. I am currently a one-woman man. Rebecca : Look, Cappie... I am not now, nor will I ever be Casey Cartwright... Perfect girlfriend, angel of mercy. Cappie : Well, thank God. Rebecca : You really are a colossal pain in the ass when you're sick, you know that? I don't know how she stood you. Cappie : Well, she is an angel. And she discovered my achilles heel. Cough syrup. Knocks me on my butt. She'd give me a dose, climb out the window, and come back by the time I need another one. No one knew. She didn't even think I knew. What? Rebecca : Only makes me like her more. Cappie : Really? We talkin' threesome now? Rebecca : Who said you're invited? Cappie : You're bad. You naughty little girl. CRU - Dale & Rusty's room Tina : I had a new idea for a U-Sag flyer, and I just wanted to run it by Dale and see if he would sign off on it. Rusty : I'll make sure he gets it. Tina : Hey Rusty. For what it's worth, Emma likes her crazy on the outside, not the inside. You're the first guy she's gone out with all semester that's not covered in tattoos and body piercings. Rusty : I'm not crazy, okay? Tina : And I'm not an egomaniacal control freak. Look... you probably won't understand this, and I don't even know why I feel the need to explain it to you, but I like to be in things. And all the ramp-up, getting-to-know-you part makes me feel anxious. So I kind of sort of just jump over it. Which can make me seem a little... pushy. Okay? Well, you better watch out for us, frat boy. Go, U-Sag!

Zeta Beta and Omega Chi have their first mixer since the expose. Meanwhile, Rusty and Dale go on a double date with Emma ( Tiya Sircar )and her overbearing, anti-Greek roommate, Tina ( Lisa Wilhoit ). Dale invites Tina to join U-SAG and when she quickly takes control, Rusty intercedes on his roommate's behalf.

fd_FRIENDS_04x17

fd_FRIENDS_04x17_0

Story by Mark J. Kunerth Teleplay by Richard Goodman [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.] Mr. Treeger: Ohhh, man!! Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that? Chandler: Treeger's snaking the shower drain. Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell? Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop. (Joey sits down and changes the channel, and we see two people making out.) Chandler: Hey! Joey: Whoa! Is this p0rn? What did I do? I must've hit something on the remote. Chandler: Do we pay for this? Joey: No, we didn't even pay our cable bill-maybe this is how they punish us. Chandler: Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill-free phone s*x. Joey: Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.) Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that lady's all kinds of naked. Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on! Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money. Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it! Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And I'm sad. (Exits.) Joey: (to Chandler) Why would he turn off the TV? (Chandler shrugs.) OPENING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The p0rn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.] Rachel: All right, y'know what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.) Joey and Chandler: (stopping her) Oh no-no-no-no! Chandler: We don't know what could make this go away. Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV! Chandler: And no one touches the air around the TV! Joey: Imagine a protective p0rn bubble if you will, okay? Monica: Well at least, I'm going to mute it. Joey and Chandler: Oh no-no-no! (Monica mutes the TV and they tentatively look behind them) Chandler: We still have p0rn. Joey: Hey. Phoebe: (entering, carrying her massage table) Hi! Monica: Hi! Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? That's too heavy. Phoebe: Yeah. Rachel: Give it here. (She takes the table.) Oh, God. (And gives it to Monica right away.) Monica: Okay. Phoebe: Ohh, I'm getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Y'know, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.) Chandler: Or a job where you don't have to carry a table. Phoebe: You mean like a doctor? Joey: Pheebs! You're blocking the p0rn! Look out! Phoebe: Ohh! (She moves.) Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today. [Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.] Ross: Hi. Monica: Hi. Ross: So uh, Emily just went to the airport. Monica: Oh. Why didn't you take her? Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And y'know, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so... Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free p0rn! Ross: (Thinks about it.) Nah. Monica: Hey, cheer up! You're gonna see her again, right? Ross: Well I, that's the thing, I don't know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Let's just enjoy..." Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, don't-don't do the accent. You've got to see her again. Ross: And why do you care so much? Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy! Ross: You had fantasies about Emily? Monica: No! Y'know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together. Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid? Monica: Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything! Ross: Ahh. Monica: Do you love her? Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, y'know? Monica: You love her! Ross: What-what is love really? Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably just gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And she's gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud. Ross: I am a good kisser. Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in... (Ross looks at her.) I've been watching too much p0rn. [Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the baby's heartbeat.] Rachel: Is that the heartbeat? The Doctor: That's it. Phoebe: Oh my God! Rachel: Oh wow! This is so cool. (The heartbeat changes, and we hear a different one.) The Doctor: Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births? Phoebe: Why don't take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, I'll hold onto your card, okay? The Doctor: No, I'm getting three separate heartbeats. Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldn't even have one! The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time. Phoebe: Well, yeah. Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?! The Doctor: Definitely. (Points out each head on the ultrasound.) Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months I'm going to have three full grown babies just walkin' around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And it's gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out! The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isn't that different from giving birth to one. Phoebe: What do you know?! [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.] Alice: (entering) Oh-oh, Phoebe! Phoebe: Ooh! Hi! Alice: Hi! (She runs over and hugs Phoebe's stomach.) So, how did it go at the doctors? Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, y'know how when you're umm, you're walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, that's nice?" Frank: Yes. Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, you're going to have three babies. Alice: Three babies? Frank: I finally got my band! Alice: We're gonna have a big family, I've always wanted a big family! Phoebe: Oh God, I'm so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked. Frank: Why would we be freaked? Phoebe: No, no maybe 'cause it's harder to raise them, and the added expense, and... Frank: (They're less than happy now) Oh. Alice: Right. Phoebe: No, back to happy. Back to happy! Alice: No-no-no, no, it's going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Y'know it'll-it'll be like my very own little sweatshop. Frank: Yeah, I've been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job. Alice: No, Frank. Phoebe: No you can't quit college! No! You're in college? Really? Frank: Yeah, refrigerator college. Alice: Yeah. Frank: Yeah, y'know when we found out we were going to have a baby, y'know I figured y'know like I should y'know have like a career-and I love refrigerators! Phoebe: You can't give up on your dream. Frank: No, it's okay. We're-we're gonna have three kids! And that's-that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money. [Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.] Ticket Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the boarding call for Flight 009. Ross: Emily! (Runs up.) Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here? (They hug) Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off. Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.) Ross: That's, that's, that's a big candy bar. (She's holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you. Emily: Me too. Ticket Agent: This is the final boarding call for Flight 009. Emily: Well, that' me. (They kiss again.) Here, have this. (She gives him the candy bar.) I'm only allowed one piece of carryon anyway. (She starts towards the jetway.) Ross: (stops her) Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, I've been thinking, I'm just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you. Emily: Oh. (She's shocked and hugs him.) Thank you. (She boards the plane.) Ross: That's no problem. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.] Rachel: What's that song? It has been in my head all day long. Chandler: It's the theme from Good Will Humping. Rachel: Y'know who doesn't even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua. Joey: Yeah right. Rachel: No, he told me. He prefers to leave certain things to the imagination. Chandler: Oh-oh, yeah, and did he also say that ah, some of the dialogue was corny and that he actually found it was funny and not sexy? Rachel: Yes! Joey: Yeah, he likes p0rn. (Rachel starts to leave.) Monica: Where ya going? Rachel: I'm going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs! Phoebe: Hey. Joey: Hey! Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice? Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, 'cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me. Chandler: They don't really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though. (Ross enters.) Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her? Ross: I did. Monica: And well, what did she say? Ross: Thank you. Monica: Oh, you're totally welcome! What'd she say? Ross: She said, "Thank you." I said, "I love you." And she said, "Thank you." Chandler: Whoa-whoa, wait a minute, did you say, you love her? Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?! Ross: What do I do now? Joey: You play hard to get. Ross: She already lives in London. Joey: Then you go to Tokyo. Chandler: All right look, forget it, forget it. You told her you love her, it's over. Monica: It is not over! You're over! Chandler: What? Monica: You know! Chandler: Okay. (Pause) Good one. Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldn't, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.) Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesn't call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, y'know just to she what's going on, and, and she says she'll call me back, but then she doesn't. Then it's over. (Joey holds his fist up, and Chandler gives him two thumbs up.) Joey: Way to be strong, man! (Ross leaves, and after the door closes, Joey gives him the loser sign.) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.] Rachel: Hey! Chandler: Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a p0rn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again. Rachel: Well, so, why don't you just turn it off? Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free p0rn. Phoebe: (entering carrying a case) Ooh, good, you're hear! Okay. Monica: Hey! Phoebe: Hi! Rachel: Well, what-what 'cha got there? Phoebe: Oh this, well I'm glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what you're thinking... Chandler: Pregnant Woman Slays Four? Monica: Phoebe, they didn't make you pay for those knives, did they? Phoebe: No! Monica: Are you sure? Phoebe: No! Rachel: Honey, you're not gonna make enough money to help Frank and Alice just by selling knives. Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan. Chandler: What's the second part of your plan? Phoebe: My Saturn dealership. [Scene: Ross's bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.] Ross: (Answers the phone.) Hello? Emily: Ross. Ross: Emily, hi! Uh, how-how was you flight? Emily: It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things. Ross: No, no, that-that, that's all right. Umm, I'm just glad you called. Emily: Ross umm, there's something that I've got to tell you, there's-there's someone else. Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America? [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.] Ross: She doesn't know which one of us she wants, me or this Colin guy. Monica: This isn't how it's supposed to go, there can't be another guy. Ross: Well... Monica: Of course there's another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love! Ross: I'm not proving anything. Okay, I'm done listening to you. If I hadn't let you talk me into going to the airport in the first place, I never would've put my fist through the wall! Chandler: You put your fist through the wall? Ross: No, I missed and hit the door. But, it opened really hard! Monica: You have to go to London! Ross: What? Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her! Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. 'Cause you already told her you love her and she didn't say it back, then she called you and told you that there's another guy, so yeah, go to London that'll scare her! Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do? Ross: I made fun of his accent. Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didn't fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily? Ross: No. Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London! Ross: Really? Monica: Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Don't let her go without a fight! Ross: All right. All right, I'm gonna do it! Monica: All right. Ross: I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to London and I'm going to fight for her. Monica: Okay, good luck! (Ross starts to leave.) Joey: Ross! Ross! If you're going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.) [Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.] Rachel: Hey! Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! I'm gonna open up my own massage place and Frank's gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesn't have to quit school! Monica: That's sounds great, but how are you going to afford it? Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised... Phoebe: I'm telling it! I'm telling it! Rachel: Okay. Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what I've got? Chandler: A place where no one will ever get out alive? Phoebe: No! Think about it, it's a taxi that people take when they need to relax, it's... Rachel: (interrupting) Relaxi-Taxi! Phoebe: The name was my favourite part! Rachel: Well, well I can up with it! Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! That's not good. Rachel: Well, I... (The phone rings and Monica answers it.) Monica: Hello. Ross: (on phone) Hey. Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised? [Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.] Ross: No, because she hasn't come home yet. And she hasn't been home all night! She's obviously staying with that other guy, and I'm the stupid moron who spent the whole night outside her apartment! Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out? Ross: About four hours. Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesn't show up by then, then just come on home. Phoebe: Hey, tell him about Relaxi-Taxi, and-and ask him if he thinks that's better than Relaxi Cab. Rachel: Okay, it's not Relaxi Cab. It's Relaxicab, like taxicab. Phoebe: Oh, that is better. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.] Chandler: Are we in London? Monica: What are you doing here? You can't be here! Emily: I've uh, I've come to talk to Ross. (She sets her bag down on the foosball table and Joey sees the Toblerone bar sticking out of it and gazes longingly at it.) Emily: What? Joey: (pause) Nothing. No, nothing. Emily: I was going to call him, but... Monica: Oh, you came to tell him you love him! I knew it! (Points at Chandler) I was right! (Points to Emily) I'm right, right? Emily: I'd really rather talk to him. Monica: Oh. Emily: I uh, I've been to his apartment and he wasn't there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is? [Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emily's apartment. We hear Emily's phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emily's answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say...] Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I don't know if you can hear this but... (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) I'm gonna talk anyway, uh, I'm in the States with you sister and your friends and it's all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell you-Yes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you. Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! I'm, I'm gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You can't hear me. (Goes to make his call.) Emily: I wish I could know if you'd heard any of that. I suppose I've either just told you I love you or given my neighbours a good laugh. Mrs. Newman if you're listening, bugger off this in none of your business. I suppose there's not much chance you did heard that, and there's the call waiting so, I should go. Oh well. (Answers the call waiting.) Hello. Ross: Hi. Emily: Ross, I love you! Ross: Ohh! Thank you. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the p0rn as Chandler enters.] Chandler: Hey. Joey: Hey. Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didn't ask me to go do it with her in the vault. Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves! Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?" Joey: Noo! Nothing! Chandler: Y'know what, we have to turn off the p0rn. Joey: I think you're right. (Goes over and picks up the remote.) Chandler: All right, ready? Joey: One. Chandler: Two. Both: Three. (Chandler turns off the p0rn and sets the remote down.) Joey: That's kinda nice. Chandler: Yeah, that's kinda a relief. Joey: Yeah. (Pause.) Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it? Joey: Yeah. (Chandler turns on the TV and...) Chandler: FREE p0rn!!! Joey: Yeah!! Chandler: We have free p0rn here!!!

Phoebe is shocked she is expecting triplets and wants to find a way to help financially support Frank and Alice. Monica persuades Ross to pursue Emily to the airport. Ross arrives just as she is boarding and says he loves her. Emily merely says thank you and leaves. She later calls to apologize for her lukewarm reaction and says it was because there is someone else. Monica believes Emily loves Ross and convinces him to go to England to say he loves her. Ross flies to London, unaware Emily has returned to New York to tell Ross she loves him. They finally connect by phone. Phoebe and Frank decide to start a massage/taxi business using the van Phoebe and Monica were once going to use for a catering business. Chandler and Joey are delighted to discover a free pornography channel on their TV, becoming addicted when they refuse to turn it off.

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_03x19

fd_Grey_s_Anatomy_03x19_0

(Izzie is laying in bed with George. She quietly tries to sneak out.) MVO: Surgeons always have a plan, where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch. But even with the best plans, complications can arise, things can arise and suddenly you're caught with your pants down. (Izzie is in the kitchen at the sink when Cristina and Meredith walk in) Meredith: Wow, you and George were really going at it last night. Izzie: What? Cristina: The laughing, the drinking, the music. Nobody, I mean me, needs to hear George's rendition of "Sexy Back" at three in the morning. Izzie: Yeah, yeah. You should have said something or you know, banged on the wall. Cristina: It's like living in a youth hostel. Meredith: Well, the important thing is that she and George made up. You did right? (Alex walks in) Alex: I need to use your bathroom. Meredith: Why? Alex: Cause O'Malley's puking in mine. Cristina: Ok, youth hostel. Meredith: George is still here? Izzie: Yes. Yes. But only because he was too drunk to drive home. You know, just totally impaired. Like no heavy machinery drunk. Alex: What's her problem? Cristina: Still drunk. Alex: What's she doing here? Meredith: She's afraid she's ruining her engagement to Burke, so she's hiding from him. Cristina: I'm not anymore. I have a plan. Burke doesn't want me to marry him just to appease him... Meredith: Which you are. Cristina: So...we don't get married. Simple, we go back to the way it was. Be kind, rewind. My plan has a name. Izzie: I gotta go. I gotta get to work. See you guys later. (She goes to leave and puking can be heard from the downstairs bathroom) Izzie: Is that George? You said he was upstairs, puking. Alex: So, now he's downstairs puking. (Izzie walks into the hall where George is) George: Izzie. Izzie: George. George: What the hell happened last night? Callie is gonna kill me. Did I at least call her before I passed out? Izzie: No. you don't...you don't remember? George: I remember the bourbon and the...I...where did you sleep? (Richard is walking through the hall with Colin) Richard: Big day. What time's your interview with the board? Colin: Three o'clock. Richard: Well if you have any questions, please... Colin: Yes, thank you. I think I have everything well in hand. Richard: That's a big folder. (Referring to the one Colin is carrying) Colin: It's nothing...it's just a few ideas I have for Seattle Grace. A ten-year plan. Which really is just a few, ah, tweaks. What did Einstein say? "Newton did the work, I'm merely standing in his shoulders." Richard: And in this scenario I'm Newton. (George is in the locker room looking very nauseous when Callie enters) Callie: George. Hey. George: Hey. You look, uh, nice. Callie: I look insane. I'm wearing pearls. Listen... George: Listen, about last night, uh... Callie: Yeah. Well we're good enough for now because as of right now you and I, we're the perfect couple. Ok, we are the perfect happily married couple who are perfect and, and never fight because my dad's in town. George: What? Callie: Yeah, my dad's in town and, uh, he wants to meet my husband. (Izzie enters) Izzie: Oh, hey. Hey, O'Malleys. Carry on, do your stuff, your married stuff. Yay! Callie: You told her about our fight. George: Just when exactly is he coming? Callie: Today, lunch, cafeteria. You know what, I think I might change it to Joe's so he might not be able to tell that stinks coming from you. George: No, it's ok. It's ok. Uh, I'm good with parents. Parents love me. Callie: Funny little man. Funny, funny little man. Funny little man who stinks. Just get in the shower, get in the shower, ok? George: I know it'll be ok. You'll see, he's gonna love me. Oh. (Cristina walks up to Burke at a nurse's station) Burke: Oh, what's this? Cristina: We bring each other coffee. This is what we do. Burke: No, this is what we used to do. Before you moved in and we started making coffee at home. You know, I'm not really interested in going back to the way it used to be so unless you have something else to say to me...I've already had my coffee. (Burke walks away and she sees Colin in the hall. Cristina walks away and Colin comes down the stairs and sees Derek, Addison and Burke standing near the OR board.) Colin: Ahh, good morning, doctors. Derek: Good morning. How you doing? Colin: Big day today. Good luck to all and sundry. (Colin walks away and Richard walks up) Richard: He has a ten-year plan. Burke: What? Richard: He's presenting the board with a ten-year plan for the surgical wing. Derek: He's only been here a day. Richard: Did you see that folder? It's full of plans...tweaks for my hospital. (Seattle scenes) (Jane Doe's room, Mark is showing her images on a computer screen.) Mark: This is a computer approximation of your original facial structure. Based on the 3D CT scans we did, it's what you could look like after reconstructive surgery. Or you could look like this...or this. You don't like them? Jane: It's not that...(Looks at Alex) How does this work exactly? Alex: He'll make an incision along your hairline and then... Jane: It's ok, I can take it. Alex: He'll literally pull your face off. Mark: It sounds a lot worse than it is. Your face is extremely elastic and pulling it down will allow me to correct the bone fractures underneath without any scarring. And once you've healed, no one will ever know you had the surgery. I'm that good. Addison: He is! It's annoying. Jane: The surgery won't affect my baby? Addison: I'll be monitoring the baby throughout, ok? Jane: Ok. So...then I just have to pick one. Do I have to pick one now? Mark: Take a couple hours and think about it. Jane: Couple hours, yeah. (Bailey and her interns walk into the hall and up to Richard) Richard: Dr. Bailey. Bailey: Chief, Jane Doe's getting a new face today. Richard: Well, that's exciting. (To Meredith) How are you doing, Mer. You didn't take to much time off after... Meredith: I'm fine, sir. Really. I think working's the best thing I can do. Richard: Like mother, like daughter, huh? Mark: Dr. Grey, what can you tell me about reconstructive neuro floor? Meredith: Uh, you can create a new base from the eye socket by harvesting bone from the skull. Dr. Bailey, Dr Grey will be scrubbing in on the Jane Doe case. Come on, I'll show you how to do it without breaking the bone graft into a million pieces. Richard: Congratulations, Dr. Grey. Bailey: Come on, lets go people. (Bailey and her interns walk past a nurse's station where Callie is) Callie: Wait, wait, wait, I need to talk to you. Izzie: Why? Callie: To prepare you guys for what you're about to see. Izzie: You meant...you meant you like us, not me. You don't want to talk to me. You wanna talk to us, about a patient. Callie: That what I just said. This patient has a disease so rare that you'll probably never see it again. FOP. Izzie: Oh, Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva. Callie: Uh, yeah. It's a skeletal disease. It turns muscle into bone, it turns you into a human statue. So just try to learn and not to stare. Ok? Nina: If you people are interns, you need to stand back. Cathy: Nina, please don't be rude. Nine: My mother still has movement in her face and hands. I'd like to keep it that way, so, please be careful. You press to hard during an exam or bump into her accidentally it causes a bone to grow where a bone shouldn't grow. So there can be no accidents. Callie: Ok, remember that when you're dealing with her today. Cathy: It's just a stomach virus or the flu. I'm sure it's nothing. Nina insisted that I come in... Nina: She was vomiting blood. And going through her pain meds like they were candy. And she has new growths, on her back. No doubt caused by come clumsy interns on her last hospital stay. Callie: Obviously, you're having a flare up of the FOP but really concerns me is the vomiting. So I'm gonna need a CT and see what's going on. (Sees a dollhouse) Oh, did you build that? Nina: My mom did. Cathy: No, Nina did it. I used to do it, I'm not able to. Nina: Keeps her active. When she's active she has fewer flare-ups. Plus it keeps her happy and relaxed. Callie: Good, ok. (Outside Nina's room) Izzie: Can I work in the clinic today? Alex: You don't want the FOP case? Cristina: Clinic, why? What's going on in the clinic? Izzie: Nothing. I just feel clinicy. Cristina: That's not a word. I'll take the clinic. Izzie: Cristina! Bailey: You both can go to the clinic. (Callie is nearby smelling George) Bailey: The board's interviewing chief candidates all day today so were light on surgeries. O'Malley? George: Yes? Bailey: You're with Dr. O'Malley. George: Ok. Alex: What am I supposed to do? Bailey: Find Dr. Montgomery, see if you can help with Jane Doe. George: I showered twice. Callie: It's coming out of your pores, George. You, reek, you're trembling and there's no way I'm letting you near my patient right now. Dr. Bailey? George: Don't tell Bailey, don't tell Bailey. Callie: Bailey, with Mrs. Rogerson's limited mobility I'm gonna need an extra set of hands. Bailey: Fine, Stevens. Yang will handle the clinic, you'll be with the O'Malleys today. (Izzie gets out of the elevator. Callie looks annoyed, Izzie looks terrified and George gives her a thumbs up) (Cristina is in the clinic with Doug Kendry) Doug: It's my foot. It hurts like crazy. I'm gonna need a pain killer, I can't spend the whole day propped on an ice pack. Cristina: You're gonna need to take off your shoe. Doug: No, no, no. I've been down this route before. Just slip me a couple pain killers and I'll be on my way. Cristina: Sir, did you, uh, go to medical school? I did. Take off your shoe. You have type two diabetes. Doug: Ten years now. Cristina: Well, you inspect your foot every day, have you noticed anything? Doug: I noticed it hurts. Look, I've got ten guys sitting on their ass waiting for me to show up... Cristina: Sir, I get it. You're in a hurry. That makes two of us. Sock. (Doug takes off his sock to reveal a very nasty sore) Cristina: You need to call your guys and tell them you're not coming in. (Jane Doe's room) Meredith: Did you choose a face? Jane: Not yet. I was hoping I'd see one of them and I don't know, recognize myself. I don't recognize any of these women. What if I choose the wrong one? What if my husband or boyfriend or whose ever baby this is, shows up tomorrow with a picture of what I'm supposed to look like but it's too late, and I'm stuck with the wrong face for the rest of my life? Alex: Ok, that would suck but if you don't pick one...(He holds up a mirror)...this is gonna be your face the rest of your life. (Derek is watching Meredith, who is at a computer) Meredith: Hey. Derek: Hey. Meredith: Shouldn't you be preparing for your board interview? Derek: I am. (He leans over her shoulder and he smells her hair) Meredith: You're hovering. Derek: No, I'm breathing you in. Meredith: You're hovering. Derek: Fine, I'm hovering. If Cristina would sleep in her own bed, I wouldn't have to hover at work. I could hover in bed. A different type of hovering perhaps. How bad is it today? On a scale of one to ten? Meredith: Seven maybe a six. Derek: Good. Meredith: You know what's gonna make it even better than that? Derek: Uh-huh, what? Meredith: Calverian bone harvest I get to do on Sloan's Jane Doe later. Derek: Sloan's gonna let you do a harvest? By yourself? Meredith: By myself. Which makes me very cool in the eyes of my dead mother, by the way. Derek: Ok, then. I better let you study. Meredith: Better stop distracting me. I will not be cool in the eyes of my dead mother if I mame Jane Doe. (CT Room) George: We're gonna need you to lie very still Mrs. Rogerson. Cathy: I think I can do that Dr. O'Malley. George: Sorry about that, Mrs. Rogerson. I'm never gonna drink again. I can't believe I have to be presentable for Callie's dad at lunch. Izzie: Hours...hours...many hours of our lives that are all I can think about and you...seriously don't remember? How can you not remember those many, many hours? George: Izzie, whatever I did, whatever I said. I was drunk, I didn't mean it. Izzie: George, I assure you, you meant it. You meant it a lot, you meant it more than once. George: Do you see that? Page Callie. (Cristina walks past an office where Colin is) Colin: You'll be pleased to here I'm proposing an expansion to the hospital board this morning. Give you quite a few more places to hide. Cristina: I'm not going to hide. I'm just trying to find my resident. Colin: I come here to Seattle to see you and you don't even give me a moment. Cristina: You didn't come to see me, you came to get a job. Colin: I came here for both. Cristina: Well, you made a mistake. Colin: Are you gonna invite me? Cristina: Where? Colin: To the wedding. Cristina: Will you stop talking about the wedding? Colin: Most blushing brides to be love to talk about the wedding, what's the matter? Are we getting cold feet? Cristina: Please leave. Colin: If he's rushing you, you should tell him. When you marry, you wanna be ready, he should understand that. (Addison is standing in front of a mirror) Addison: Good afternoon, board. No. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen of the board...(Mark enters) I'm so grateful for this opportunity. Mark: Don't wear the glasses. You fiddle with them, it makes you look indecisive. And stop stressing, it will be like any other job interview. What do you consider your strengths? What do you consider your weaknesses? What do you consider your weaknesses? Addison: I don't have any. I'm that good. What are yours? Mark: I'm an easy mark for evil redheads. Addison: Trust me, you have other weaknesses. Obviously, you are a man-whore. Mark: Correction, I was a man-whore. Addison: Yeah, well, while you're bragging about that to the board, Colin Marlow is pitching his ten-year plan. Mark: Ten-year plan? Is that a requirement? Addison: It is now. (Cathy's room) Callie: Mrs. Rogerson, according to your CT, you have severe internal bleeding. It was probably caused by your anti-inflammatory medication. Nina: Does that require surgery because she can't have any. Callie: Obviously, any surgical procedure could cause more bone growth or do more damage than good. That's why Dr. Burke's here. Burke: What we can do is inset a line into your groin and then float a catheter up and embalize the area. Nina: That's minimally invasive? Burke: As minimally invasive as possible but with your condition even this is risky. Cathy: I'm 41 years old. Most FOP patients don't live to 45. I'm down to the use of my face and hands, pretty soon I won't have anything. So, what would happen if I refuse the surgery? Callie: You will bleed to death...within a day or two. Cathy: Is that painful? Nina: Mom, stop, ok? Cathy: Nina, please let me think, I... Nina: The reason you've gotten this far...our treatment plan works. It will work. (Mark enters the conference room where Derek is) Mark: Burke is using PowerPoint. He's doing a PowerPoint presentation for the board, which is cool if it's like 1998. There's no swag is there? We're not allowed to give gifts? Derek: Why did you ask Meredith to do a bone graft...on your Jane Doe? Mark: Because I'm her teacher and that's my job. Derek: You're doing it to impress the chief. You're setting her up. And she can't fail right now. Mark: Why don't you let your girlfriend decide what she can or can't do? Derek: I will hurt you if this goes wrong for her. (Outside Cathy's room) Addison: Is...is that a...? Izzie: Dollhouse. Yeah, the lights work and everything, it's the perfect little home. Addison: Did you have a dollhouse growing up? Izzie: I had s*x last night...with the wrong person. But the thing is it didn't feel wrong at the time. It felt like everything was falling into place. So, what do I do? Addison: What am I? The go-to person for adultery? Izzie: No...no...I just...I just don't know what to do. Addison: You stop, that's what you do. Izzie: Are you sure? How do you know, that it feels so right because it's gods plan? Addison: God wants you to be an adulterer? Izzie: God got a virgin pregnant by magic. God is not playing by the rules. (Clinic, Doug is on the phone) Doug: Uh-huh, talk to Paul. Cristina: Mr. Kendry. Doug: No, Paul will get your drywall numbers. Cristina: Mr. Kendry. Doug: Ok, let me just right a couple notes about that call. Cristina: Mr. Kendry, we're gonna have to amputate your foot. Doug: What? Cristina: The infection is in the bone and if we don't remove your foot, the infection will travel to your blood and that will cause sepsis and possible death. I'm sorry. Doug: How can you be so...I mean, I can't get around...No, no, you're not cutting off my foot. Cristina: Sir, diabetes as a manageable disease. If you had been here even a month ago, maybe... Doug: Ok, I screwed up. But you're telling me this is my only option because I was late getting in here? That there is no way... Cristina: Mr. Kendry... Doug: No! Please, there's gotta be a way for me to get that month back. Tell me what to do. I'll do every line of every plan that you give me. Please. You gotta find a way to save my foot. (Meredith is practicing her bone harvest when Derek enters) Derek: Hey, what do you think of a robotics lab as a goal for the hospital? Hmm? Meredith: Derek. Derek: You're harvesting. Meredith: I'm trying to be supportive but this graft, it's really tricky. Derek: Mm-hmm. You don't have to do it, you know. I talked to Mark and uh... Meredith: You what? Derek: I talked to Mark. I mean, Meredith this is, uh, it's a complex procedure. Meredith: You don't think I can do it? Derek: When has Mark Sloan allowed his interns to do anything? Let alone harvest a bone graft? Meredith: He's in the race for chief. He's trying to prove he can teach. Derek: By teaching you. Your mother died and the chief is going to be watching you very closely. Mark is trying to gain points to play. Meredith: Using me. Derek: If it goes well, he gets the credit. But if it goes poorly, he gets the save. Meredith: So, this is about you one upping Mark? Derek: He's using you. I'm just trying to protect you. Meredith: You don't need to. Close the door on your way out. (Derek leaves slamming the door on his way out.) (Bailey walks up to Mark in the hall) Mark: Can I help you with those Dr. Bailey? Bailey: What do you want? Mark: See, that's what I like about you, you always get right to the point. Bailey: Make it quick, I'm headed over to the clinic. Mark: All right, what would you change about this hospital if you could? Bailey: Is this for your board interview? You want me to do your homework for you cause I'm not busy enough, is that it? Mark: All the other attendings are putting together ten-year plans, I was just looking for some input. Bailey: Input? You want...I have patients in need of medical attention right now. This guy, here, is about to have one less appendage. I don't have a ten-year plan for him, I have a right now plan for him. Cut off his foot to save his life. So, you need to get out of my way right now, so I can do my job. Mark: Right now? Bailey: Right now. (Cafeteria, the interns are having lunch) Izzie: Hey, talk to me about blackouts. Are they real? Do you really not remember anything afterwards? Meredith: Iz, I'm fine. I'm not drinking, I'm not drowning my sorrows. Fine. Everybody needs to stop trying to protect me. Izzie: Um, this isn't really about you. I'm asking back when you had a best friend named tequila, did you actually ever blackout? Meredith: Once...twice. Alex: The stuff you don't remember is usually the stuff you don't wanna remember. Izzie: Right. Great, thanks. Cristina: Hey, I have type two diabetes. Patient let it go and the infection is in the bone. I have to find a fix or cut off the foot. Anyone? Anybody? Alex: You get to cut off his foot? Cool. Cristina: Ok, no, not cool. The patient was neglectful, he made a couple bad calls. Does that mean he has no hope? Does that mean he can't have a do over? Alex: But you get to cut, do bonus stuff. Meredith: We're talking about Burke now. Alex: We are? Meredith: Operation be kind, rewind not going so well? Izzie: You need to fix it cause it seems like you guys have a pretty good thing. And pretty good things are rare and hard to come by. Unlike really screwed up, complicated things which seem to be freaking everywhere. Cristina: You know what, things are great. I'm gonna get things back to the way they were. Watch me. (Cristina storms off) Izzie: Has Jane Doe picked a face? Meredith: No, not yet. Izzie: How cool would that be? To get to pick your own face. Just disappear and start all over. [SCENE_BREAK] (Alex enters Jane Doe's room) Alex: How you doing? Jane: How am I doing? I'm freaking out, Alex. That's how I'm doing. I can't do this. I can't pick. I can't. Alex: All right, ok, lets uh...lets meet the contenders, all right? This...this is Maggie. Married her high school sweetheart, has two kids, boy and girl. Loves being a mom, you know, coaches her daughter's basketball team and makes an insane banana cream pie. Jane: Banana cream pie? Alex: It's my favorite so shut up. And this...is Elizabeth. Graduated from Northwestern, met her husband at a rally where they got arrested and fell in love. She's all angry and fired up but everyone forgives her because she means well. Ahh, this one, this ones Eva. She's funny, she's tough...a little neurotic some times but you get used to it. You can tell she's been through some tough times in her life but she'll get through it. (George and Callie are at Joe's with Mr. Torres) George: It's just your daughter, she...she's sorta undeniable. And, uh, after I lost my father I realized that life is short...and it's long too. Short and long. Life... Mr. Torres: He talks a lot. Callie: No, no, he talks like a like a like a person who talks dad, please. Mr. Torres: Do you have any idea what you've done to your mother? You make this decision, the most important day of your life, we didn't even know she was seeing someone. Are you pregnant? Callie: Oh. Mr. Torres: Did you get my daughter pregnant? George: No. Callie: No, daddy, this is...no. George, ok, he's not like the other guys I've been with. George: Clean as a whistle, and a mathlete. Mr. Torres: He has no money. You have money. George: Oh, come on. I didn't know that Callie was well off. She just told me. Mr. Torres: Really? Really, well you won't mind then if the car, the house and everything else we'll provide will be in Calliope's name? Callie: What house? Mr. Torres: You're a married woman now. I'll find something suitable. It's all here in the postnuptial, I've brought along. Callie: Whoa. (Mr. Torres goes to put the papers down and knocks over George's drink) Mr. Torres: I'm sorry. Callie: Dad! George: Got it. It's ok. (Callie and her father are still talking. George suddenly flashes back to the night before and sees him and Izzie having s*x.) George: No. Mr. Torres: What? George: No, that's not gonna happen. There is no way I am gonna let you pay for anything. I can't...we can't...Callie...I'm so sorry. Mr. Torres, I'm sorry, but the answer is no. (George walks up to Izzie who is at a nurse's station) Izzie: You remembered? (George walks over to a linen closet and opens the door, they both enter. George appears very confused and even punches the wall. Izzie touches his face, he pulls her hand away and then leaves without either of them saying anything.) (Seattle scenes) (Cathy's room. Izzie enters and Cathy and Nina are working on the dollhouse) Izzie: Wow, it's really coming along. It looks great. Cathy: Thanks. We've been working on it for months. But when I say we, I mean she. I just hold things and look pretty. Izzie: That can be hard work too. I'm gonna need to draw some blood for your surgery. Nina: Be careful! You can only use one specific vein in this area, here. (Izzie goes to move and knocks things off the table) Nina: I said be careful. Izzie: I am so sorry. Cathy: That's ok. Nina: No it's not. If she's gonna be that clumsy, she's not drawing your blood. Cathy: Nina, she's just doing her job. Nina: Not very well. I'm going to get a nurse, the senior nurse. Cathy: Oh Nina, stop. Nina: No, mom! Do not let her touch you. We can't be too careful. You're not taking her blood. Cathy: She's not even a person anymore, you know what I mean? Izzie: Mrs. Rogerson... Cathy: I know I'm gonna die. You know maybe not today but soon. I just need to talk, you know. Nina won't let me talk. I just need to talk. (Richard enters the conference room where Derek is) Richard: No coffee. One more thing for Marlow to tweak. Please tell me you're not coming up with a ten-year plan for this hospital. Derek: You can come up with all the plans you want but in the end their just...it's doesn't make one bit of difference. Things happen, people just... Richard: Drown? Derek: Yeah, you know when I pulled her out of the water...she was like ice. She can swim, Richard...she gave up. I close my eyes for a minute and it's like she's back in the water. I'm up at night and I just listen to her breath, you know? Just in case she stops. I can come up with plans for the hospital but if they ask me where I'm gonna be in 10 years... (Mr. Torres walks up to George who is at the nurse's station) Mr. Torres: George. George: Mr. Torres? Mr. Torres: You wanna take care of her in your own way. I understand that, I respect it but you have to understand, she's my only little girl George. You have to promise me that you will love her and protect her because the minute you hurt her... (Callie walks up) Mr. Torres: You understand? (George nods) Mr. Torres: Good. Then I'll tell Callie's mother, she can plan the party. Callie: What...what? Mr. Torres: You're wedding party. Callie: Ah, dad, come on. Mr. Torres: Now, now, please. For my sanity make her happy. Just let her plan the party. Callie: All right, all right, ok. Mr. Torres: All right then, I have a plane to catch. Come here. (He kisses her cheek) George. (Shakes George's hand) Callie: Bye dad. (He leaves) Callie: You stood up to him, nobody does that. I was all proud. So listen, about last night...I don't know about you but personally I'd like to take back about 90 percent of it. George: Me too. Callie: Good, good ok. Then go find Izzie and help her prep Mrs. Rogerson, I'll see you in surgery. (Jane Doe's OR) Jane: You here to keep my baby alive? Alex: I am. Jane: Good. Alex: So? Jane: So, call me Eva. (Scrub room for Jane Doe's OR) Mark: You been practicing? You know the chief will be watching today. Meredith: The chief, right, of course. Mark: Of course what? Meredith: Derek was right about you. You're using the memory of my dead mother to win points with the chief. It's despicable. And I'm not gonna play. Mark: The chief, the way he was looking at you this morning. Was like you were some beaten down puppy he picked up off the side of the road. You do this procedure and you do it well, he'll start looking at you like a surgeon again. But you wanna think of me as despicable, you wanna pass up this shot, that's up to you. (Cristina is walking through the hall with Doug) Cristina: They're doing amazing things with prosthetics these days. This doesn't mean your life is over. (She sees Burke in the hall dressed for his interview) Cristina: Take him up to the OR, I'll meet you there. (She walks over to Burke) Cristina: Got you're board thing now? The chief picked you originally. You were always supposed to be the next chief. That was always the plan. Burke: That was a long time ago. A lot has happened since then. Cristina: But you're still that guy. You're the guy the chief chose. Burke: No I'm not. I'm not that guy, Cristina, and I wouldn't want to be. I wanna be better than that. I like to believe that I've grown. I wanna move forward, I'm not interested in going back. (A board member walks in the hall) Board Member: Dr. Burke. (Seattle scenes) (Jane Doe's OR. Mark looks up and sees Richard and Derek watching the surgery intently. He breathes a heavy sigh) Mark: You ready? Meredith: Osteotome and hammer. Mark: Use the curved osteotome to elevate the external table. Gently. (Cathy's OR) Burke: How's it looking? Doctor: Still see bleeding. Burke: Platinum microcoils, they aren't holding. Callie: What about using an gelatin sponge? Burke: I've already tried polyvinyl alcohol, glue, micro-coils. Nothings working. Izzie: BP's dropping to 62 systolic. Burke: We're gonna have to open her up. Callie: If you open her up she's dead. Burke: If we don't she's dead. (Nina is in her mother's room working on the dollhouse) (Doug's OR) Cristina: Beginning amputation (She turns on the saw.) (Jane Doe's OR, Meredith is removing skull bone. Richard and Derek look on.) (Cathy's OR, she is flatlining) (Doug's OR, Bailey is carrying his leg) Bailey: Fine amputation, Yang. (Yang looks saddened that she had to amputate the leg) (Jane Doe's OR, Meredith removes a piece of bone and looks up to Derek who smiles at her) Mark: Beautiful. (Nina is working on the dollhouse) (Cathy's room, she is still flatlined) (Nina is working on the dollhouse and drops a piece and breaks it) (Mark is in with the board and Derek, Addison and Burke are spying from outside) Addison: Wait, now they're laughing. Derek: Laughing? Addison: They're laughing. Derek: Well, they can't be laughing with him, they have to be laughing at him. (Bailey walks up) Bailey: I'm surprised you don't have a shot glass pressed up against that window. (They all move aside just as Mark and the board leave the conference room) Mark: Let me show you the new clinic. (They all follow Mark and Richard is stopped by the others) Burke: Chief? Richard: Hmm? Burke: So...? Richard: If you ask me, you all could stand to borrow a page from Dr. Sloan's book. Derek: Sloan? You're kidding, right? That's a joke. Richard: He didn't get caught up in this whole ten-year plan foolishness. He said he had a "right now" plan for Seattle Grace. Burke: The "right now" plan? Bailey: (Agitated) The "right now" plan? (Bailey looks over at Mark who smiles) Is that right? Richard: Board ate it up, tell you the truth, so did I. (Seattle scenes) (Cathy's room) Nina: I should have brought her in sooner. The first time she threw up. I knew better. Callie: Nina, there was nothing any of us could... Nina: No. It was a mistake. Izzie: You're mother...talked to me. She wasn't ready to leave you but she was ready to leave her body. Nina: Please, I don't need you to explain the relative comforts of death for my mother. Izzie: What she was afraid of was that you had taken on so much of her disease that you had frozen up to. You spent so much time planning and helping her avoid risk, god knows that's what you should have been doing, but she was worried...You have a healthy body, Nina. If you fall down you won't turn to stone and you're mom so wanted you to fall. Messing up is what makes a person. It's how you learn, where you find joy in the things you don't plan for. The things you never see coming. (Seattle scenes) (George and Izzie are alone in the locker room) Izzie: Ok, it happened. It was a mistake and it happened. People make mistakes. We need to figure out where we go from here. We need to figure out how to tell Callie. George: I'm not gonna tell Callie. Do you know how much this would hurt her? I'm not gonna clear my conscious at her expense. She has done nothing but support me, encourage me and believe in me and this is how I pay her back. No, I have to live with what I did. This is our secret, ok? Izzie: Ok. (George gets up and leaves) MVO: The thing about plans is...they don't take into account the unexpected. (Cristina enters Doug's room) MVO: So, when we're thrown a curve ball, whether it's in the OR, or in life. Cristina: How are you feeling? MVO: We have to improvise. Doug: I'm a guy without a foot. What do I do now? Cristina: You move forward, you follow the plan and you try and keep your other foot. Doug: My other foot, right. (Alex is in Jane Doe's room) MVO: Of course, some of us are better at it than others. (Addison enters) Addison: I'm impressed, Karev. You spent the whole day watching a fetal monitor and never complained. Alex: Well, I do what I'm told. Addison: Since when? Alex: Depends on who's doing the telling. Addison: Good night, Dr. Karev. (Addison leaves and Jane Doe wakes up) Jane: What was that? Alex: Hey, how's Eva? Jane: I don't think I'm gonna know the answer to that for a while. What do you say we talk about you and the redhead for a while? Alex: Well, the redhead's my boss, so... Jane: So? Alex: Well, it's complicated. Jane: And? Alex: And? (Cristina enters her and Burke's apartment) MVO: Some of us just have to move on to Plan B and make the best of it. (She climbs into bed. Burke looks shocked.) Cristina: It has to be small. Just you and me...and Meredith...and Shepherd too, if you want. But that's it. And the justice of the peace. I know you're spiritual and stuff but I don't want any rabbi's or ministers, nothing religious. Let's just make an appointment at city hall and that'll be it. And no veil. Ok, I don't wanna get married with a mosquito net all over my face. (He hugs her) (Meredith and Derek are lying in bed) Meredith: I let Mark use the memory of my dead mother to win points with the chief. You were right. Derek: Sorry. Meredith: You know what's weird? Derek: What's weird? Meredith: It's exactly what she would have wanted. Derek: So, dead mommy's proud? Meredith: Dead mommy's proud. How was your interview? Derek: Not great. It wasn't great. I was distracted. Meredith: By what? Derek: Nothing. I don't know. Meredith: On a scale of one to ten how bad is it? Derek: 8 (They kiss) Meredith: How bout now? Derek: 7 (She climbs on top of him) Meredith: How bout now? MVO: And sometimes... Derek: 6 MVO: ...what we want... Derek: 5 MVO: ...is exactly... Derek: 4 MVO: ...what we need. (Izzie is in her room, taking the sheets off the bed. She sits down on the bed and cries) MVO: But sometimes... (Callie and George are lying in bed) Callie: I can smell you're clothes through the closet door. Did you tie them up in a plastic laundry bag? George: Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Callie: I guess I can live with it. MVO: Sometimes what we need is a new plan.

In the aftermath of Izzie's affair with George, he doesn't seem to remember anything, and Izzie does her best to avoid Callie, but she becomes nervous when she has to help Callie and George treat a patient with FOP . Callie lets George know that they will be having dinner with her father, but George does not make a good impression, being hungover after last night's events. Alex helps Jane Doe choose what her face will look like after Mark performs reconstructive surgery on her. He also gives her a new perspective on how the world will see her from then on. The hospital board begins interviewing the candidates for the Chief's position, and Colin intimidates everyone with his ten-year plan. However, after taking advice from Bailey, Mark seems to have convinced the board that he is appropriate for the job, despite continuous efforts from Derek, Burke, and Addison, whose careers in the hospital outlast his. Cristina looks for a way to save a man's foot when he makes it clear that he doesn't want it amputated. Izzie seeks advice from Addison about her affair, confessing that sleeping with George felt right, despite him being married. Mark takes Meredith as his intern for the day in order to impress Webber, something that Derek doesn't approve of, feeling that Mark has become manipulative.

fd_FRIENDS_07x07

fd_FRIENDS_07x07_0

[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is eating breakfast as Rachel enters, having just woken up.] Joey: Morning! Rachel: Hi! Oh, how was your date last night? Joey: Pretty good. Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.) Joey: Okay, really good. Anyway I gotta go; I'm late for work. Rachel: What-what?! You're gonna leave this person with me?! Joey: Yeah-Hey, don't worry, she's a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that I'm not looking for a serious relationship; that'd be great. Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?! Joey: Just casually slip it in, y'know lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, I'm a loner-No! An outlaw! Tell her she doesn't want to get mixed up with the likes of me. Rachel: Y'know what? That's a lot to remember, can't I just tell her you're a pig? Joey: Hey, I'm gonna call her later! Honest! Oh come on, Chandler used to do it! He'd even make the girl pancakes! Plus, he'd make extras and leave 'em for me. Rachel: Well forget it, I'm not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility. Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, where'd we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.) Joey's Date: Hi! Rachel: Hi. Joey's Date: Sorry about that, but I couldn't get that lock to work on the door. Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in. Joey's Date: You must be Rachel, I'm Erin. Rachel: Hi. Erin: Hi. I don't mean this to sound like high school, but did he say anything about me? Rachel: (pause) Would you like some pancakes? Opening Credits [Scene: N.Y.U's University Library, Ross is entering with Chandler.] Chandler: ...Come on! Why are we here?! Ross: Okay, okay take a guess. (An old woman pushes a cart full of books past.) Chandler: The hot chicks? Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, y'know-y'know for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! It's here! Yeah, it's right-it's right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.) Chandler: Wow that's actually pretty cool. Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, there's also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that? Chandler: Sounds like two people are really enjoying the Dewey decimal system. (They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, let's just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.) Female Student: (as they are moving past Ross) I'm so sorry! Male Student: Sorry! Chandler: You didn't bring me here to do that, did you? [Scene: Monica's Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.] Monica: She sent the chicken back again?! The Waitress: She says it's too dry now and she wants to come back here and explain to you exactly how she wants it. Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in! (The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasn't taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she can't be that good a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.) The Colonel: OH...MY...GAWD!!!! (Yep, it's Janice.) Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky b*st*rd! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planet's most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. She's the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice. Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.) Monica: I'm fine. Janice: (notices Monica's engagement ring) Ohh! What is that on your finger?! I'm blind! Monica: Oh... Uh... Janice: So, who's the lucky guy? [Cut to Monica and Chandler's just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.] Chandler: OH...MY...GAWD! I am so sorry sweetie, are you okay? You didn't tell her we were getting married, did you? Monica: Well, she saw the ring. Chandler: Did she freak out? Monica: Well, she was shocked when I told her, but then again so were most people. Chandler: Right. Monica: Well, she actually has a boyfriend y'know herself, named Clark. Uh, she also kinda invited herself to our wedding. Clark too. Chandler: (laughs) You said no, right? Monica: Huh? Chandler: You said no, right?! Monica: Well, she cornered me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?! Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The check's in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I can't wait to read your book, Ross!! Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it won't be so bad. Chandler: What do you think, she's just gonna sit there quietly? You don't think she's gonna want to make a toast? You don't think she's gonna want to grab the microphone and sing Part-time Lover?! Monica: Oh my God, she's not gonna like the chicken that night either, is she?! Chandler: Y'know what? It's gonna be okay. Y'know what? She's probably not gonna even want to come. Monica: Really? Chandler: No! That was a lie! See how easy that was? Monica: So-so you would've just lied? Chandler: Yes!! Monica: Would it really have been that easy? Chandler: Yes!!! Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because we're going to dinner with her and Clark. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned, are there.] Joey: Hey! What's up? Phoebe and Rachel: Hey! Joey: Hey-hey, who's your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!! Erin: Hey Joey! Joey: Erin! Still here! Rachel: Yeah, we ended up spending the day together and had such a great time! Joey: Why wouldn't ya? Erin is great! Then-then there's you guys. Erin: Ohh, listen. I've got to get going. Today was great, thanks! Rachel: I know! Phoebe: Okay! Erin: Bye Joey. (Kisses him.) Last night was fun. Joey: Yeah. I'll uh, I'll call ya. Rachel: Oh and I'll call ya too! Erin: Or I'll call you! Phoebe: And call me! Joey: (to Erin) Okay, good to see you again. Erin: Bye. Joey: Bye-bye. Rachel: Bye! (Joey closes the door behind her.) Joey: So, system kinda broke down huh?! Rachel: Oh Joey, I'm sorry I just couldn't tell her all those things you wanted me to tell her. And y'know we got to talking and I... Phoebe: We want you to marry her! Joey: What?!! Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea. Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here? Rachel: Cupid. Phoebe: Joey, she's so cool. She speaks four languages. Joey: Man, do you know what guys want! Rachel: Look Joey, come on, she's so perfect for you! I mean, she's sweet, she-she likes baseball, and she-she had two beers at lunch. Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, she's a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I just-I don't see it going anywhere. Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that. Rachel: Yeah, maybe if you gave this girl a chance it would go somewhere. Joey: Look, I'm sorry you guys, I-I just don't think so. Phoebe: Whatever. Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.) Joey: Hey, don't start judging me! (To Rachel) Huh? You're the one who's in love with her assistant! (To Phoebe) Huh? And you, you're the one having the affair with the guy who keeps the pigeons on the roof! Rachel: Phoebe! Phoebe: Secret affair! [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Joey are there as Ross enters.] Ross: People are doing it in front of my book! Rachel: I'm sorry? Ross: My doctoral dissertation is in the library at school, I went to see it, and there were students makin' babies right in the middle of the Paleontology section! Rachel: Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good? Ross: Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around. Rachel: Yeah, there was. It was-there the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever read-Yes, there was. Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think it's like uh-a thing! Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall? Ross: Oh for cryin' out loud! (He storms out.) Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie. Rachel: Well now what's the rush? Joey: I like to see the previews. (Rachel looks at him.) The candy. Phoebe: (entering with Erin) Oh. Hey! Rachel: Well look who's here! Erin: Hey! Joey: Hey! Erin: Joey. Joey: Erin. Erin: Hey Rachel. Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no! Erin: What's wrong? Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to. Phoebe: Oh no. Joey: (skeptical) What party? Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party. Joey: Who's birthday party? Phoebe and Rachel: Alison's birthday party. Joey: (still skeptical) Oh, and how old is Alison? Phoebe and Rachel: 32. (Joey's not buying it.) Rachel: (does a retching sound) Wait a minute! Why don't you guys do something?! Joey: (still skeptical) Yeah, look how that worked out. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.] Ross: Excuse me. Hi, I'm a professor here. Do you know the Paleontology section, fifth floor, stack 437? The Librarian: Well, yes! Just give me five minutes, I just have to find someone to cover my shift. Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.) The Head Librarian: How can I help you? Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it. The Head Librarian: We are aware of the problem you are referring to. (He turns to look at the previous librarian.) But as far as increasing security, I'm afraid the library is very understaffed. I, I can't help you. Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if I'm the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, I'll go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And don't you follow me! [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are doing dishes as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey. Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: How did it go with Erin? Joey: Oh, unbelievable! We had the best time! Phoebe: Yay!! Oh so, you're not, you're not mad at us anymore? Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Y'know? That was so awkward, we were really nervous. Phoebe: Didn't you sleep together? Joey: Yeah, that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if we were ever to have kids, well that's a... Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin' about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please don't get married before I do. Joey: Okay. [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.] Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up! Monica: He might still show up. Janice: Oh, what are you, stupid? It's been three hours. Monica: Is that all? Janice: I should just go on to happier things, okay? Umm, why don't you tell about your lovely wedding? Chandler: Well actually uh, there was something we wanted to tell you about the wedding. Um, it's going to be a small ceremony. Uh, tiny! We're not even sure why we're having it. Monica: It's actually going to be just family. Janice: Oh...wait...you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red? [Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.] Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer! Erin: What about Benitez? Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series? Erin: What about shut up? Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) I'll be right back. Erin: Okay. (Joey goes to get some coffee and Erin sits down.) Rachel: So how's it goin' with Joey? Erin: Uh, okay. Rachel: Okay? Wait okay, tell-tell me that you like him, please? I mean tell me that you like him. Erin: Look, he's a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just don't see this having a future. Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?! Erin: Kinda. Phoebe: Then change it back! Erin: I'm sorry I... It's just there's no real spark. Phoebe: No spark? Didn't you sleep together? Erin: Yeah. Rachel: Ugh, tramp! Phoebe: Does Joey have any idea? Erin: I really don't think he does. And y'know what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Y'know, tell him I'm-I'm not interested in a serious relationship or something. Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that you're kind of a loner. Erin: Yeah! That would be great! Phoebe: Yeah, and maybe that you're a real (She says something in Italian, and it doesn't matter what she said. It's not important so I don't need everyone who speaks Italian telling me what she said.) Erin: I'm sorry? Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isn't one of the four languages you speak. Joey: (returning) Hey! You wanna go? Erin: Yeah, let's go. Joey: Okay. See you guys later. Erin: Bye guys. Rachel: Yeah, see ya. Joey: (whispers to Phoebe and Rachel) Hey, thank you so much. (They both exit.) Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here. Phoebe: No, just a regular old flying dwarf. [SCENE_BREAK] [Scene: The library's Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.] Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you? Guy: Yeah, we were...we were just looking around. Ross: Oh-oh, you're-you're fellow scholars. What exactly were you looking for, hmm? Perhaps, (Grabs a book from the shelf behind him) perhaps Dr. Chester Stock's musings on the Smiledon Californicus? Guy: Uhh.... Ross: Ah... Ah...Get out of here! (The couple retreats. Ross starts looking through the previously mentioned book as a beautiful woman walks into the section.) Uh, meeting someone? Or-or are you just here to brush up on Marion's views on evolution? Woman: Uh, actually I find Marion's views far too progressionist. Ross: I find Marion's views far too progressionist. Woman: I'm sorry, who are you? Ross: I'm a professor here uh, Ross...Geller. Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? It's uh-Wait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this? Ross: Yes! You're the person who checked out my book?! Woman: Y'know, you look nothing like I would've thought. You're...you're so young. Ross: Well I uh, I skipped forth grade. [Time Lapse, Ross and the woman are now in a state of partial undress and are standing in front of the head librarian with two security guards watching them.] Ross: I am very...very sorry. [Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are watching TV as Joey enters.] Joey: Hey! Phoebe: Hey! Rachel: Hi! Phoebe: So how was, how was your date? Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still... And guess what, I'm thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts. Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you? Joey: No-no-no-no-no! It's a surprise, but it's gonna be tricky though because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while. Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah. Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, she's not lookin' for a serious relationship. Joey: Where are you gettin' this? Rachel: Well, she told me. She said she's kind of a loner. Joey: Oh. Oh. Rachel: Joey... Joey: No hey Rach, it's cool okay? Y'know I'm a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right? Phoebe: Hey Joey, y'know what? You are way too good for her. Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell 'em you're not looking for a relationship. Joey: No! No. Don't do that, just next time make sure she really likes me. Rachel: Well that too. (Joey goes into his room.) Joey? Joey: Yeah? Rachel: Do you want some pancakes? Joey: (coming back out) Finally! [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler and Monica are sitting at the kitchen table and are still trying to decide what to do about Janice.] Monica: What are we gonna do? Chandler: I say we go with Careless Whisper. (There's a knock on the door and Janice enters.) Janice: Chandler? Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us? Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here? Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldn't really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family. Monica: (To Chandler) Our kids are gonna call her Aunt Janice aren't they? Janice: Please, it's because otherwise I really don't know what I might do. Chandler: Aren't you just a tinsy bit curious? Janice: (starting to cry) Do you have any tissues? Monica: Yeah, in-in-in the bathroom. Janice: Okay! (She runs for the bathroom) Monica: We'll just...we'll just let her stay. Chandler: No-no-no-no, if we let her stay, she will stay forever! Monica: Kinda like your barcalounger. Chandler: Is that what you're thinking about right now? Monica: I never stop thinking about it. Janice: Hey you guys, umm do either one of you want to get in there before I take my bath. Chandler: Janice, I'm sorry but umm, you can't stay here tonight. Janice: Why not? Chandler: Honestly? Our apartment is a hotbed for electromagnetic activity. Now Monica and I have been immunized, but sadly you have not. (And she does the laugh.) Janice: Okay, I'm going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? 'Cause it's already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.) (Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.) Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go! Janice: Why? Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you! Janice: He does? Chandler: Say again? Monica: That's right. That's right. And that is why you can't stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldn't come to the wedding. Chandler: Feelings, such strong feelings. Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can. Janice: Oh...my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, I'll go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.) Ending Credits [Scene: The library's Paleontology section, Ross is on patrol and stops a security guard through the stack of books.] Ross: (to the guard) Don't sweat it, I've got this section covered. Yeah, in fact I've got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in people's eye-(The guard walks away)-Okay, see you later. (Ross resumes his patrol when his best friend and sister walk up and start to take off their coats, but they stop when they see him.) Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)

Ross is excited that his dissertation is in the school library until he learns it is in an isolated aisle where students go to hook up. Rachel and Phoebe believe they have found the perfect girl ( Kristin Davis ) for Joey. When Janice invites herself to Chandler and Monica's wedding, they try dissuading her by convincing her Chandler still has feelings for her. Ross tries guarding his dissertation from potential lovers. He meets a woman there who knows his work, and they end up fooling around and getting caught by library staff.

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ACT ONE Scene One - Apartment The doorbell rings. Daphne opens the door to Roz, who is carrying Alice. Roz: Hey, Daphne. Daphne: Hello, Roz, Alice. What brings you here? Roz: We're borrowing Frasier's car. Daphne: Oh, I see. And you're leaving Alice here as collateral. Roz: Actually, he's being very nice about it. Mine's in the shop, and I'm taking Alice and a few of her friends to an ice cream party. Frasier: [emerging from hallway] You told me it was your friends, and the Science Center! Roz: He said, she said, we'll never know what really happened. Frasier, don't be so uptight. I'm not gonna hurt your precious car. Frasier: I am not uptight, it's just that I've had some unfortunate experiences before loaning out my car. Daphne: [going to the hall] I left an umbrella in the trunk. Frasier: It was a wet umbrella! Roz: Can I have the keys? Alice whines softly, prompting Frasier to take them out. Frasier: [sighs] Yes, yes. [drops them in her hand] After all, what are fine possessions for if not to be used and enjoyed? [lugubrious] And who better to enjoy them than the delightful souls of small children? Roz: I'll put a tarp in the backseat. Frasier: Oh, bless you. Roz turns to leave and runs into Niles. Niles: Hey Roz, hello Alice. What brings you here? Roz: Oh, Frasier loaned me his car, I backed mine into a telephone pole. Frasier: You said you were getting a tune-up! Roz: [as the elevator doors close] It needs one, trust me! Niles: Is, uh, Daphne ready? Frasier: Uh, actually I think she's in her room. You two have plans? Niles: Yes, I am taking her to the botanical gardens. Can you believe she's never been before? Frasier: Didn't Donny take her to the botanical gardens last year? Niles: Can you believe she's never been before? Daphne comes out with Eddie on a leash. Niles: Hey, Daphne! Daphne: Hello, Niles. Niles: Ready to go to the gardens? Daphne: Yeah, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take Eddie for a walk first. [kisses him] Niles: Where's Dad? Daphne: I don't know, he's been gone all morning. Niles: Oh well, here, I'll take him for a quick walk. Daphne: Oh no, he's gonna need more than that, or he'll go stir-crazy. He's gonna need a full hour at the dog park. Niles: [checks his watch] We don't have time to go the dog park, the-the Tour of Succulents starts promptly at twelve. Uh, hey, Frasier, can you take him? Frasier: No, I'm sorry, Niles. Roz has my car, you see, and Lana's coming by to pick me up for a tutoring session with Kirby. Daphne: I'll just get Eddie's toys. [leaves] Frasier: [on phone] Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, I need to make an emergency appointment tomorrow, for a complete cleaning of my BMW. June 10th?! But I've got a Clean Team Privileges Card! Yes, of course it's a platinum one! [takes it out and looks] No, no there are no diamonds on the corner. Well, then yes, I'd like to become a member of the Diamond Alliance immediately. Fine, put me on the waiting list. I'll see you in June. [hangs up] Niles: [needling] You're not in the Diamond Alliance? Frasier: Don't do that! [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Two - Park Niles and Daphne are sitting together on a bench in the park, with Eddie. All around them are dogs playing with their owners. Niles: So this is it. Daphne: Mmm-hmm. Niles: I'd hardly call this a dog park. [looks around] It's more like a dog... orgy. Whose beagles are those? Daphne: Don't stare, it only encourages them. Niles: Well, hurry up, Eddie, there's lots of exciting depravity to explore. [Eddie doesn't move] Daphne: [takes out a short piece of thick rope] He wants to play a little fetch. Niles: Oh. Daphne: Well here, you throw it. Niles: With my bare hands? Daphne: Oh come on, it's fun. Niles: [takes it] Ready? Here we go. And, fetch! He tosses the rope about two feet away. Eddie quickly picks it up and brings it back. Niles: All right, I didn't give you enough of a challenge. Here, ready, ready? And, ho! [throws it farther] Go get it! [Eddie runs after it] I'm sorry, I was a bit of a grouch. This is actually a fine way to spend the day. Daphne: Yeah... Niles: In fact, it's kind of... He trails off as a huge hound comes back with the end of the rope hanging from his jaws. Niles: Hello. Do you suppose the rest of Eddie's in there? Jim, a tall, handsome, athletic man, follows the hound. Eddie follows him. Jim: Good boy, good boy! Sorry about that, Daphne, but what with the organic vitamin paste I've been feeding Tank here, Eddie can't keep up with him. Daphne: It's no problem, Jim. Uh, Niles, this is Jim Grady and Tank. This is Niles, my boyfriend. Niles: [shaking hands] Pleasure. Jim: Boyfriend? Ah, I should have known. It seems like every time I'm single you're in a relationship, and every time you're single I'm in a relationship. Daphne: Yeah, that's true. Jim: I guess we just don't have- Daphne: Timing! Jim: -good... [Daphne laughs] And I'm a drummer! Niles: Which, uh, makes it even more ironic! Tank starts climbing Niles's leg, to his horror. Jim: Tank, that's rude! Now, chill. [Tank obeys] Niles: Wow. Daphne: Wow, you've really got him trained. That's the problem with Eddie. He only listens when he thinks he's gonna get food. Niles: Or one of my socks! [laughs, no one else does] But mostly food. Jim: Well, it's all in the voice tone, really. Any dog can learn to respond to it, even an old wheezer like Eddie. You, uh, want me to show you? Daphne: I'd love it. Jim: Come on. [she gets up] Niles: Yeah, we'd all love it! He gets up to follow them, but his cell phone rings. Niles: Oh uh, you guys, uh... [but they're gone] Be right back. [sits and answers] Hello?! SMASH CUT TO: A close-up of Martin, dressed in a dark suit and talking on a mobile: Martin: Hi Niles, it's me. I just wanted to make sure Daphne took Eddie for a walk, I completely forgot about it this morning. Niles: Yeah, yeah, we're in the dog park now. Uh, where are you, anyway? The camera widens to show Martin seated at a table in a nondescript room. It looks a little like a canteen. In the background are two people in suits, conferring. Martin: Uh, I'm at the track. Uh, had an itch for it when I woke up, and so just I dropped everything and went. Uh, I'm at the window... [puts the phone to his shoulder] I'll have a trifecta in the eighth. [into phone] All right, gotta run. Niles: Wait, uh- Martin hangs up. He looks very pensive. [SCENE_BREAK] MR. HAPPY PANTS Scene Three - House Lana opens the door to the house, and Frasier follows her in. Frasier: Well, I didn't realize that I was going to be selling houses with you today! Why didn't you just drop me off and then come on your own? Lana: Stop whining! It'll only take a minute. I hope we don't run into the sad sack who owns this place. She notices some framed family pictures on the otherwise bare shelves, and quickly removes them to a box on the floor. Lana: I've been trying to sell this house for over a year! But he keeps driving away every potential buyer. Frasier: How does he do that? Phillip, the world's saddest man (judging by his unshaven face and filthy clothes) lumbers in carrying a box. Phillip: Oh... hi. I heard a woman's voice, I thought it might be my wife coming back to me. Lana: [as if to a child] No. She lives in Portland now, with her new husband, Lamar, remember? [Phillip nods sadly] Oh, excuse me, Frasier Crane, Phillip Donovan, the current owner. Frasier: Hello. Phillip: Hi. Lana: Well, see you later Phillip! Not seeming to hear her, Phillip puts the box on the floor and sinks onto the couch. Phillip: Anyway, my wife just left with the kids. No talking, no explanations, just ripped my heart out and threw it to the dogs - which she also took. Frasier: Well, uh, at least you're... getting out at the top of the market! Lana: Actually, this is a very good time, Phillip, and I think today is the day! Phillip: [opening the box] Oh, no! Lana: Oh, God! Frasier: What's wrong? Phillip: The damn basement must have flooded again. Everything in this box is ruined. Little Suzy's cap she wore home from the hospital, ruined; Danny's first soccer uniform, ruined! Frasier: Well, you know, I have an excellent drycleaner- Lana: [hissed] No! Frasier drops his coat onto a chair and sits beside Phillip on the couch. Frasier: Once, actually, I spilled butter on a pair of white velvet pantaloons. [off their looks] Well, it's a long story. But, uh, he had it out in under a minute! Lana: Frasier, just give him the address. Frasier: Yes, yes... Phillip: [shows him some pictures] I have two sons and two daughters. The perfect American family... until that b*st*rd Lamar showed up to snake our drains. Now all I have left are weekend visits, and a few treasures from their childhood. He takes out a popsicle stick house and puts it on the coffee table. Phillip: Like this house little Danny and I made at day camp. Oh, thank goodness, it made it through unscathed. Just a little water damage in the basement. Just like this house... Frasier: Phillip, you are still their father. I mean, I know things seem difficult right now, but believe me, it'll get easier. Phillip: Oh, it's already easier. I mean, look at me, I'm dressed. Lana: Phillip, you know what would really cheer you up, is to make a killing on this house! Now, don't you think you should get back to work? Phillip: I guess. That air traffic isn't gonna control itself. [gets up] Lana: OK, here we go. [he heads toward the front] No, not the front door! Let's go out the side door. [steers him] It's good to see you again, Phillip, I'll call you when we sell the place, bye! She shoves him out. Frasier: Good lord, that man is obviously in pain, the least you could be is a little sympathetic! Lana: I have been sympathetic for fifteen months! I had him over for Thanksgiving! He got drunk the first half-hour and cried himself to sleep in my coat closet! And I consider that one of our good days! Frasier: Well, so where are these so-called buyers of yours? You told me they'd be here in a few minutes. Lana: Well, they're obviously running late, OK? It'll give us time to go over the plan. Frasier: What, what, there's a plan? Lana: Well, sure. When the Smolenskis get here, you act like you want the house. You know, a little competition, put a little pressure on the deal. Frasier: You're asking me to be your shill? Lana: [slaps her forehead in mock surprise] That's the word! Yes, yes! Now listen, you don't have to say anything! Frasier: I'm sorry, no! Lana: Well, why not?! Well, look, OK, all you have to do is walk around with an interested look on your face. You know, they'll fill in the rest! Frasier: I will do no such thing! Lana: Why won't you help me?! Frasier: Because I refuse to lie for you! Lana: Oh fine, then go wait in the car! Frasier: I never wanted to leave the car! Lana: Oh, just get out! She grabs his coat and flings it at him, hitting the stick house and shattering it into a hundred pieces. They are both horrified. END OF ACT ONE ACT TWO Scene Four - House Lana is picking up the pieces. Frasier comes in the door with a grocery bag. Frasier: All right, I got some cream-sicles, and fudge-sicles, and something they call, uh, "Bomb Pops!" Lana: I called the Smolenskis, I bought us a little extra time. Frasier: Right, good, good. All right, let's spread out some paper and then build us a house! Lana: So Frasier, with all your talk about honesty, how do you justify faking this thing? Frasier: Well... we're simply protecting the feelings of an innocent man. Nothing dishonest about that. Lana: Uh-huh. [holds up a piece] So, uh, are you gonna write, "I love you, Daddy" or am I? Frasier: [It's a dirty job, but] I'll do it. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Five - Park Daphne watches, delighted, as Tank obeys Jim's every command. Jim: Sit. Wave, wave. All right, hide your eyes, hide your eyes. Hide 'em... Niles and Eddie are sitting on the bench watching them. In his loneliness, Niles has begun to pet Eddie. Niles: Hey Eddie, don't worry about that other dog. He may be bigger and flashier and better-looking, but...you have substance. She knows that. Daphne: [coming back] How amazing is Jim? He's so connected to animals, it's almost magical. Niles: Daphne, I've been musing about you and me, and I have a thought. Daphne: Yeah? Niles: In every healthy relationship, I may ask for an occasional - very occasional - irrational demand. Daphne: What do you mean? Niles: Uh, a thing we insist the other do or not do, and the other one has to do it or not do it, without question. Daphne: Is that fair? Niles: It is. Because we each get one, and only one, for our whole relationship. Daphne: Well, if it's important to you. Niles: Then it's agreed? Daphne: Agreed. Niles: Good... oh, I've got mine! Daphne: Already? Niles: Yes. Uh, I want you to promise never to come to this dog park again. Daphne: What? Niles: I know it sounds extreme, even unreasonable - but that's the beauty of the irrational demand. Daphne: Is this about Jim? Niles: The, uh, demand cannot be scrutinized. It is, by definition, irrational. Daphne: And are you sure this is how you want to use your only one? Niles: Absolutely. I've thought this through, a lot. Irrationally, of course. Daphne: OK, if you're sure. I promise never to come to this dog park again. Niles: Thank you. I knew you'd understand. [kisses her] Jim and Tank come over. Jim: All right, we're going home. Tank needs to re-hydrate, and, oof, I'm late for a deltoid workout. Daphne: Well, I guess this is goodbye, Jim. Jim: Yep, by this time next week I'll be leading my first raft tour in Chile. Niles: Really? Jim: Yeah. Niles: Wow, when do you get back? Daphne: Oh, he's not coming back. He's moving there. [to Jim] Good luck, Jim. Jim: Yes, you too. [hugs her; to Niles] And, uh, stay cool, buddy. Niles: Oh, you know it. Jim and Tank leaves. Daphne: [sighs] I wonder how I'll use my irrational demand... oh, what's my rush? I've got years to think it over. Niles looks very nervous. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Six - Waiting Room Martin is still seated in the waiting room. Joanne, a woman in her early 50's, comes in and sees him. They seem comfortable with each other, but nervous about something else. Joanne: Hi, Martin. Martin: Hello, Joanne. Joanne: How have you been? Martin: Pretty good. Oh please, have a seat. Joanne: Thanks. [sits] I was worried I was going to be late with all that construction going on. Martin: Yeah, I know, it's a mess. Joanne: How's your hip? Martin: Ah, you learn to live with it. Joanne: I think about you a lot, you know. I've wanted to call, but... I don't know. Martin: I understand, it's OK. Joanne: So... another year has gone by. Martin: Yeah. Time really flies. Joanne: I guess it goes a little slower for me. Silence. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Seven - House Frasier and Lana are eating popsicles and finishing their new house, which is now only lacking a roof. Frasier: How's our roof coming? Lana: Almost done. Frasier: Good. [looks at her] You know, there was a time back in high school when I would have paid a thousand dollars to watch you eat a popsicle. She just looks at him with the popsicle in her mouth... and bites off the end, making him flinch. Frasier: It was a long time ago. Lana: I think it's kind of funny that we became friends. Frasier: We're friends? Lana: Well, sure we are. Why wouldn't you think so? The end of Frasier's popsicle falls off and dribbles down his shirt. Frasier: Oh, dear... Lana: Nice going, dipstick! [takes a tissue and wipes his shirt] Frasier: It's a brand-new shirt. Engine noises outside. Lana: I hear a car. It's the Smolenskis. [gets up] OK, keep working. Frasier: Right. Lana: I gotta go up to Phil's room and spray some air freshener around. His room reeks of... I don't know, despair! She leaves the room. Frasier, before resuming work, takes the scissors and cuts a hole in the middle of a large piece of wall-paper on the floor, and puts it over his head as a smock, all the while holding the popsicle in his mouth. As he resumes, the elderly Smolenskis come in. Mrs. Smolenski: It's even nicer than I remember! They see him - a grown man wearing a huge paper smock, glueing sticks together and sucking on a popsicle. Mrs. Smolenski: Well, hello there! Are you having fun making your little house? Frasier, mouth engaged, is unable to reply. Lana comes in. Lana: Oh, there you are! Hi - oh, I see you've met Frasier. I am so glad you came today, because the interest on this place is really heating up! Mr. Smolenski: Well, we're certainly interested as well, but we've- we've heard that a lot of homes in this area have a flooding problem. Now, what do you know about the basement here? Lana: Honestly? Mr. Smolenski: Yes. Lana: This house is sixty years old, and I have only heard of it flooding once. Mr. Smolenski: Oh! Frasier clears his throat loudly. Lana: And I could tell you for a fact that the permanent owner stores some of his most cherished keepsakes in that basement. Frasier makes a hacking cough. Mrs. Smolenski: Are you choking on your lolly? Frasier: [takes out popsicle] No. I am choking on something far more dangerous and destructive than a simple sugary treat. It's a prolific and powerful poison known as: deception! Mrs. Smolenski: He's very verbal! Even from within his smock, Frasier manages to look righteous and accusing. Lana: Oh, you know, I just remembered! Gosh, you know, the owner did mention something about a recent little moisture problem downstairs. Tell you what, why don't I give him a call and see if he'll come down just a tiny bit in the price? Mrs. Smolenski: Oh, that'd be wonderful! Mr. Smolenski: If he could give us a break in the price, I'm sure we'll make an offer. Lana: Oh, great! I'll call you tonight. Mrs. Smolenski: Thank you. Mr. Smolenski: [to Frasier] Bye, sonny. Lana: [as they leave] Call you tonight! She closes the door. Frasier has placed the roof on the house. Frasier: There now, you see? You did the right thing. That wasn't so bad, was it? Lana: I guess not. Oh, look at our little house, it looks great! They start cleaning up, putting their supplies in the grocery bag. Frasier: Say, you know, we got a few extra popsicle sticks left, why don't we add on a half a bath? Lana laughs. Frasier heads for the side door, then stops and turns back. Frasier: You know, Lana, I think the house should go the other way around - with the door facing the couch. [off her look] Feng Shui! Lana: Fine, fine, fine, fine. He leaves the room. Lana lifts the house - and the coffee table comes with it. She tries again, without luck. She braces the table with her legs, and tugs. Nothing. Making a rapid decision, she lifts the coffee table and turns it around so the door is now facing the couch. Frasier comes back. Frasier: Ah, perfect. Lana: Perfect. Frasier: Now you see, doesn't it feel good to tell the truth? It's like breathing a breath of fresh air, and- Lana: Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go! Frasier: Oh, all right. They go out the door. [SCENE_BREAK] MOMMIE DEAREST Scene Eight - Apartment Roz steps off the elevator carrying Alice. She kneels down and stands Alice opposite her. Roz: OK, Alice, before we see Uncle Frasier, let's remember together what really happened. ALICE'S P.O.V. - Her mother looking straight at her. Roz: Now, did you throw up in Uncle Frasier's car? Alice shakes her head from side to side. Roz: No-you-didn't. That smell was there before, wasn't it? Nods up and down. Roz: That's-my-girl. [holds out a pack of M&M;'s] There you go. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene Nine - Hearing Room David Hicks, a man in his 20's, is sitting in a chair, wearing a denim prison uniform. In front of him are the three members of a Parole Board. Behind him, the room is empty except for Martin, Joanne, and a guard. David: And besides the library assignment, I've been taking a computer class on Wednesdays. I hope to get a job with computers... when I get out. 1st BM: Can you tell us what consideration, if any, you've given this crime? David: Well... I regret it, everyday. I was young at the time, and I wasn't thinking - you know, about the consequences. And I'm very sorry. 2nd BM: The victim is here. Mr. Crane? [Martin stands up] Would you like to make a statement? Martin looks at Joanne, then shakes his head. Martin: I have nothing to say. [sits back down] 3rd BM: Would you give us a moment? The Board confers with each other in whispers. 3rd BM: Mr. Hicks, the board commends you for your participation in the in-house programs to better yourself, and for your record of excellent conduct. We have weighed this against your conviction of shooting a police officer during the commission of a robbery � and find that the length of your time served has not yet met the standards for proportionality, equality, and justice as required by state law. Parole is denied. As the Parole Board gets up and leaves the room, the guard comes forward to take David back to his cell. Joanne begins to cry, softly. Martin rises, considering whether or not to say anything to her - and then decides to leave quietly. END OF ACT TWO [SCENE_BREAK] Park: Daphne throws the piece of rope again, but Eddie doesn't move. Niles gets up and comes back with it. She takes the rope and playfully tousles his hair as if petting a dog. Playing along, he wags his leg like a tail.

Frasier is reluctantly helping Lana as she tries to sell a house, despite the depressed owner driving away all potential buyers. Niles and Daphne take Eddie for a walk in the park, and Niles meets Jim, an attractive dog owner whom Daphne sees there often. Martin is attending the parole hearing of the man who shot him years ago.

fd_Gilmore_Girls_03x01

fd_Gilmore_Girls_03x01_0

3.01 - Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days OPEN IN LORELAI'S BEDROOM [Lorelai is asleep in bed when her alarm goes off. She shuts it off, and a second later, several others start going off around her bedroom.] LORELAI: You are hilarious! [She gets up and walks down to the kitchen, where Luke is at the stove making breakfast] LORELAI: Okay, see, last night, when I said to you, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I get up at seven,' what I actually meant was, ‘Tomorrow, no matter what, make sure I have the option of getting up at seven in case when seven comes, I actually wanna get up,' which – as it happened – I didn't. Therefore, you're currently responsible for the great alarm clock slaughter of 2002. [She pulls a container of coffee out of the freezer] LUKE: No survivors? LORELAI: The one shaped like a bunny escaped with a mild decapitation. [smells the coffee] This is decaf. LUKE: What are you talking about? LORELAI: You switched my coffee again. [Lorelai searches the kitchen for the regular coffee] LUKE: I'm a busy man. I don't have time to sneak around switching your coffee. I have a diner to run, I have shipments to order, I have things to flip and fry. Will you stop that? [Lorelai finds the bag of regular coffee under the sink] LORELAI: Ha, haha, hahaha! Under the sink, very clever, but not clever enough bucko. LUKE: Okay, fine, you know what? I give up. LORELAI: Woo hoo! LUKE: Go one day without coffee. LORELAI: That's not giving up. LUKE: I'll put a toy in your cereal. LORELAI: Dirty! LUKE: [hands her a plate of food] Fine, here, you win. LORELAI: Thank you. LUKE: You're welcome. Now you're up, you're fed, I'm leaving. LORELAI: Oh, hey, we need q-tips. LUKE: I'll alert the media. LORELAI: See, that's better with the accent. LUKE: The reference is enough, you'll learn that one day. I'll be home early, anything besides the q-tips? LORELAI: Um, cotton balls, world peace, Connie Chung's original face back. [Luke kisses her] LUKE: Goodbye crazy lady. [to Lorelai's stomach] Goodbye Sid and Nancy. LORELAI: Leopold and Loeb. LUKE: What? LORELAI: I changed my mind, don't tell Rory. LUKE: Decaf. LORELAI: Never. LUKE: They'll both have two heads. LORELAI: More to love. [They kiss again and Luke walks out the back door] CUT TO LORELAI'S BEDROOM [In the middle of the night, Lorelai wakes up suddenly from her dream. She falls out of the bed reaching for the phone] LORELAI: Whoa! Ugh! [She calls Rory at her dorm in Washington] RORY: Hello? LORELAI: You have to come home. RORY: Mom? LORELAI: You're gone and the house is quiet and Bill Maher's canceled. The name of the show was Politically Incorrect for God's sake. Didn't anybody read the title? He was supposed to say those things, dammit! RORY: You had another dream. LORELAI: Yes. RORY: The doctor is in. LORELAI: Okay, I'm lying in bed and I'm sleeping and I'm wearing this fabulous nightgown, and like thirty alarm clocks go off, and so I get out of bed and I walk downstairs, and there, standing is the kitchen, is Luke! RORY: Was he naked? LORELAI: No! He was making breakfast. RORY: Naked? LORELAI: Okay, you've been in Washington way too long. RORY: Sorry. Go ahead, he was making breakfast. . . LORELAI: Eggs and pancakes and bacon, and he put decaf coffee in my regular coffee bag, which of course I knew immediately. RORY: Hi, the nose. LORELAI: Exactly. So eventually I find the real stuff under the sink. He hands me my breakfast, and then . . . RORY: What? LORELAI: He kissed me and talked to my stomach! RORY: Why would he do that? LORELAI: Because apparently I'm pregnant! RORY: What? LORELAI: With twins! [pause] Say something. RORY: You are going to be so fat. LORELAI: Just analyze my dream, please. RORY: Okay. Well, your dream was telling you that you are secretly in love with Luke and you wanna marry him and have his twins. LORELAI: Uh, no, try again. RORY: What do you mean, try again? You asked me to analyze your dream, I analyzed your dream. LORELAI: Yes, well, I reject that analysis, so I'd like another one, please. RORY: You can't just reject an analysis and try again. You're not shopping for bathing suits here. LORELAI: Give me another analysis or I'll put your Taylor hula-hooping dream into a whole other context. RORY: I told you, Taylor was supposed to be Dean. I could tell by his freakishly thick head of hair. LORELAI: I'm waiting. RORY: Okay, maybe you're still upset about what happened with Dad and you're jealous of Sherry because she's having his baby and not you. Mom? LORELAI: I miss you. RORY: I miss you, too. PARIS: [sleeptalking in background] Woodward. . .Bernstein. . .Harry Thomason. LORELAI: Is that Paris? RORY: Yeah, she talks in her sleep. . . long in-depth arguments. I'm so glad I only have one more day here. LORELAI: Me, too. What do you have on your agenda for tomorrow? Or, today, actually. RORY: We have a breakfast mixer with members of Congress and the Senate. LORELAI: Cool. See if you can steal me something off of Tom Daschle's fruit plate. RORY: I'll see what I can do. LORELAI: See you Friday, doc. RORY: See you Friday. [Rory walks to her desk and sits down, where she tries to work on a letter to Jess] PARIS: [sleeptalking] I did not have sexual relations with that woman. [opening credits] CUT TO SOOKIE AND JACKSON'S HOUSE [Lorelai and Sookie are sitting at the kitchen table] LORELAI: No way. SOOKIE: I swear. LORELAI: Huh, Kosher bacon. SOOKIE: Beef not pork. LORELAI: I am so Jewish. JACKSON: [from other room] Hey Sookie, where's my – SOOKIE: Jackson, hold on! Lorelai's here! LORELAI: [covers eyes] Oh, Jackson, I'm in the kitchen! I'm eating bacon, so don't . . aye - eh - da - ahhh! JACKSON: [walks into kitchen] Will you stop it? I'm dressed. LORELAI: Uh, well, how do I know you weren't showering and the hot water went out and you rushed down here with nothing but a teeny tiny towel in front of ya. JACKSON: Once, that happened once. LORELAI: Well, once was enough. SOOKIE: Oh, hey, honey, I got those paint chips that we were talking about. Do you wanna look at them now? JACKSON: Nope. SOOKIE: But it'll only take a minute and I actually went though and picked out a couple of colors for you. LORELAI: What are you painting? JACKSON: Nothing. SOOKIE: The house. LORELAI: The whole house? JACKSON: No. SOOKIE: Just the inside. LORELAI: Ah, that's a pretty big undertaking. JACKSON: It's not such a big undertaking since we're not undertaking it. SOOKIE: I know, but it'll be fun. LORELAI: Rory and I'll help if you want. JACKSON: Okay, if you're gonna come over here everyday, you have to actually hear both of us. LORELAI: Oh. Well, tell me why you're not painting just the inside of the house? SOOKIE: Because it was my house and now it's our house and I want it to feel like our house. JACKSON: I'm totally happy with the way this house feels. SOOKIE: How can you be? There's flowers everywhere. JACKSON: I like flowers – I'm a produce guy. SOOKIE: The curtains are ruffly. JACKSON: I like ruffles. SOOKIE: How can you like ruffles? JACKSON: Because I'm very, very gay. SOOKIE: Jackson! JACKSON: Judy, Vincent has to go to work now. Goodbye Lorelai. Tell her I'm fine, I like things just the way they are. LORELAI: I'll try. [Jackson leaves] LORELAI: All right, I've only got a minute and then I have to leave. Is there any more bacon? SOOKIE: Have mine. What do you think about mahogany for the living room and then midnight blue for the hallway and the bedroom? LORELAI: Sookie, Jackson just said he's fine with how everything is. I don't think it's bugging him. SOOKIE: Well, he may not think so now but it'll bug him eventually and then he'll resent this place and me by extension and I would like to avoid that. And I can – I just need to butch the place up a little. Now, help me pick a color. LORELAI: Okay, I can't now, but I'll do it later. SOOKIE: Okay. LORELAI: Thanks for breakfast, it was amazing, I love you, I love the bacon. Oh, hey, bacon's manly. Why don't you just nail a bunch of packages of Kosher bacon on the walls, huh? Smells like meat blessed by a rabbi – now that's a manly house. SOOKIE: Buh-bye. LORELAI: Okay, but if you're still thinking paint, you're still thinking like a chick. CUT TO OUTSIDE [The town square is being set up for a festival. Lorelai walks toward Taylor, who is in an electric wheelchair giving orders to people.] TAYLOR: Watch those streamers! And not too much red near that tree – light touch, light touch, light touch. LORELAI: Hey Taylor, how's the leg? TAYLOR: It's just fine. LORELAI: Still haven't found out who put that banana peel on your doorstep, huh? TAYLOR: No, but I have a list of suspects. LORELAI: Hey, um, what's all this for? TAYLOR: This, young lady, is for the first annual Stars Hollow End of Summer Madness Festival. LORELAI: You finally found a way to fill September, didn't ya? TAYLOR: This is gonna be a very exciting day. I'm really gonna go all out for this. I even think you'll be impressed. LORELAI: Really, even me? TAYLOR: Yes-sir-ee, mini-me, I did not put the word madness in the title for nothing. This place is gonna be crazy, wild – food, games, we've even got a band coming all the way from New York! LORELAI: New York – that's just nuts! TAYLOR: And wait ‘til you see the banner I ordered. It's gonna make every other banner we've ever had look downright embarrassing. LORELAI: Taylor, you're on fire. TAYLOR: Oh, I love this banner! LORELAI: I can't wait to see it. TAYLOR: Well, come on Friday. [to girl walking by] Uh, excuse me, uh, young lady. . .young lady? You know I'm talking to you. The blonde woman with the ribbons, please slow down. I'm in a wheelchair, young lady, I can't run after you. [As Taylor follows the girl off camera, Lorelai stares into Luke's Diner then sadly walks away] CUT TO WASHINGTON [At the Junior Leadership breakfast, Paris is talking with Senator Barbara Boxer] PARIS: I mean, come on, Senator Boxer, as one of our foremost Democratic leaders, I ask you – do you really think it looks good to have the American Secretary of the Treasury traveling around with Bono? I mean, I know apparently he's a saint, he's going to save the world, yada, yada, yada, but my God! He never even takes the sunglasses off. We have an image to maintain, don't we? I mean, aren't we at least trying to pretend we're the superpower in this world? I mean, why not just send Carson Daly over to the Middle East next time Cheney goes, huh? Or hey, hook up Freddie Prinze Jr. with Colin Powell next time he meets with NATO. I mean, hell! Let's hear what Freddie has to say, right? [A man walks by and the Senator grabs his arm] SENATOR BOXER: Oh, great, Doug. Uh, Paris, do you know Republican Congressman Doug Ose from California? You don't? Great. You two will have so much to talk about. Bye. [walks away] CONGRESSMAN OSE: Uh, Barbara PARIS: Ose, right? CONGRESSMAN OSE: Yes that's right. PARIS: Let's take a walk. [cut to Rory at one of the food tables. As she gets herself some coffee, a boy walks up to her] JAMIE: Last day here. RORY: Yup. JAMIE: So, in your opinion, how was our nation's capital? RORY: Well, I got to see Archie Bunker's chair at the Smithsonian Museum, so it was a big thumbs up for me. JAMIE: Yes, there are times when this country's priorities are exactly right. So, where's Paris? RORY: Hm, not quite sure. Last time I saw her, she was beating the will to live out of our nation's representatives. JAMIE: She is a hammer, isn't she? RORY: Actually, she's the entire toolbox. [Paris walks up to them] PARIS: Damn. I always seem to catch the most interesting politicians right when they have to use the bathroom. Hey Jamie. [Paris walks over to another table and Jamie follows her] JAMIE: Paris. Just came over to let you know I got a little sneak peak at the final debate pairings for today. It seems like you and I are going to be on the same side this time. PARIS: You're kidding? You'd think they'd like to give someone else a fighting chance for once. JAMIE: Apparently not. PARIS: God, I love this. You don't realize how unqualified most of America's youth is until you gather them all up in a room and make them speak. So, who are we up against? JAMIE: Jason Roundsevault and Ty Fredericks. PARIS: Perfect. Jason's got asthma and Ty cries. JAMIE: Okay, so we should meet early and go over strategy, make sure you bought enough Kleenex. PARIS: Good, good. JAMIE: And then tonight we should get together and celebrate over dinner. PARIS: What if we don't win? JAMIE: Don't lose it on me now. PARIS: You're right. JAMIE: So, dinner? PARIS: Sure. JAMIE: Good, I'll swing around for you about seven. PARIS: Fine. JAMIE: Okay, see you at the slaughter. [Jamie walks away and Rory walks over to Paris] RORY: Wow! PARIS: Yeah, can you imagine pairing me with Jamie? I mean, why not just line the hallways with self esteem counselors right now. RORY: Paris? PARIS: What? RORY: What do you mean what? He just asked you out on a date. PARIS: He did not. RORY: Yes, he did. You're having dinner with Jamie tonight. PARIS: It's a victory dinner, that's it. RORY: Paris, if he just wanted to celebrate winning a debate, you guys could've had coffee afterward, but he asked you out on a date. PARIS: He did? RORY: Yes. PARIS: Did I accept? RORY: Yes. PARIS: I'm going on a date? RORY: Yes, you are. PARIS: Oh man, I can't believe this! I finally get asked out on a date and I missed it? Was it a good ask-out? RORY: It was a very good ask-out. PARIS: God, I wish I'd been there. RORY: Well, you'll be there tonight. PARIS: Tonight? Tonight I have a date. Tonight I have a date with Jamie – a Princeton man. I can overlook that. Oh my God, I can't believe it. . .I have a date. CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN [Michel is at the front desk talking to Kirk] KIRK: One day it occurred to me, cows never wrinkle. MICHEL: Mmhmm. KIRK: Think about it – have you ever seen a wrinkled cow? No, not once. So I thought to myself, "That is weird." MICHEL: Yes, that and other things. KIRK: So I decided to do a little research. I studied cows, I studied humans, and finally I discovered the secret – the secret of the cows. LORELAI: [walking up to them] Michel, could you, uh. . .hi Kirk. MICHEL: Oh, good, just in time. Kirk here is about to tell us the difference between cows and humans. LORELAI: You mean, other than one's a cow? MICHEL: Shh. Go ahead, Kirk. KIRK: Hay. LORELAI: Huh? KIRK: Hay, it's hay – cows eat hay. And after some experimentation and a great deal of research, I developed what I believe to be the next great skin care product to sweep the nation. [shows them a bottle] LORELAI: [reads the label] Hay There. KIRK: A complete line of creams, balms, toning lotions, and cleansing liquids. LORELAI: Kirk, we already have a skin care line here, I'm sorry. KIRK: I am willing to give you three cases of "Hay There" skin products absolutely free of charge. Try them, you will see what I'm talking about. LORELAI: Well, uh, thank you very much, Kirk. . . but, I'm sorry – don't cows eat grass? KIRK: Sometimes, but "Grass There" is a bad name. [leaves] MICHEL: So sad not to have a cocktail in your hand every time he comes by, no? [the phone rings] LORELAI: [answers] Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking. EMILY: What day is this? LORELAI: Mom? EMILY: What day is this? LORELAI: Mom, I have a group of – EMILY: It's Thursday. LORELAI: Thank God. Now, could I possibly – EMILY: Thursday the what, Lorelai? LORELAI: It's – EMILY: Thursday the third. And what was happening Thursday the third, Lorelai? LORELAI: I believe it was the day I was supposed to chew my own head off. EMILY: Your father and I were coming home from Martha's Vineyard. LORELAI: I know you were. EMILY: And you said that when we got home, you were going to call us. LORELAI: I know I did. EMILY: Well, we're home, and yet there's no call, no message, no card. LORELAI: Mom, it's eleven o'clock in the morning. I said I would call you on Thursday, I didn't say when on Thursday, I just said Thursday. Technically I haven't screwed up for another twelve hours. EMILY: Lorelai, everyone knows that you are supposed to call people as soon as they have arrived home. That's the polite way to do it. LORELAI: You didn't tell me what time you were coming home. EMILY: Well, you never asked what time we were coming home. LORELAI: Yes, but you never told me so there's no way I could know, so even though I didn't ask I still didn't know and it's only elev. . .I'm sorry. EMILY: Apology accepted. Now I assume we'll be seeing you and Rory for dinner tomorrow? LORELAI: Uh, you'll see me but Rory doesn't get back ‘til Saturday. EMILY: Oh, what a shame. I thought she was coming back tomorrow. LORELAI: Nope, she's coming back Saturday. EMILY: Well, I'm very disappointed. I had it written down for tomorrow. LORELAI: Well, you must've written it down wrong, Mom. She's coming home Saturday. EMILY: Your father thought it was tomorrow, also. LORELAI: See you at seven. EMILY: Hold a moment, Lorelai. Do you know where Christopher is? LORELAI: Um, why? EMILY: We wanted him to come with you and Rory tomorrow, even though apparently Rory's getting back Saturday, though I couldn't sworn it was tomorrow. LORELAI: Christopher's away on business but I'll tell him you invited him. EMILY: And tell him to come with you two next week. I wanna see the three of you together. LORELAI: Yes, that would be a nice picture. EMILY: All right, see you tomorrow. LORELAI: Yes, you will. Bye. CUT TO WASHINGTON DORM ROOM [Rory is on the phone with Dean while Paris gets ready for her date] RORY: My plane gets in at three. DEAN: I'm in at six. PARIS: Red, purple, green – where the hell is it? RORY: That gives me three hours to look presentable. Hm, perhaps I'll go blonde. DEAN: I strongly request that you don't. RORY: Afraid of change? DEAN: No, I just like what I have. RORY: I like a man who settles. DEAN: I miss you. RORY: I miss you, too. PARIS: Hey, hey, stop being cute. I need help here. RORY: I have to go. Paris is melting down. DEAN: Why? RORY: She has a date tonight. DEAN: Really? PARIS: Don't sound so surprised. RORY: How do you know he sounded surprised? PARIS: Because I'm a genius, Rory. I have deep and powerful clairvoyant abilities. RORY: Oh boy. PARIS: For example, I can instantly deduce that when someone hears the name Paris in the same sentence with the word date, jaws will drop, confused looks will cover faces, words like ‘how' and ‘why' and ‘Quick, Bob, get the children in the minivan because the world is obviously coming to an end!' will immediately fly out of people's mouths. RORY: I have to go. DEAN: Are you sure it's safe? RORY: I'll be fine. I'll see you Friday. DEAN: See you Friday. I love you. PARIS: That's it, I'm shaving my head. RORY: Gotta go. [hangs up] Okay, Paris, you have got to calm down. PARIS: I had a black sweater and now it's gone. RORY: I'm not just talking about right now – in general, you need to calm down. PARIS: He's almost here, I'm not dressed, my makeup's not done, and I haven't gone through the Zagat yet to pick out a restaurant. RORY: Why don't you just let him pick out the restaurant? PARIS: What if he doesn't have a Zagat? RORY: Well, then he'll wing it. PARIS: Wing it? How come other girls get planned out dinners? Flowers, candy, rose petals thrown on the floors – and I get wing it? RORY: Well, you don't know that you've got wing it. PARIS: No, I do. I've got wing it. I can't do this. RORY: What? PARIS: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it. RORY: Not true. PARIS: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring? RORY: Sit. PARIS: It's a dare. He was dared to take me out. I bet Trent Lott was behind this. RORY: Trent Lott did not dare Jamie to take you out. Close. Jamie likes you and he asked you out because he likes you. Now look up. PARIS: Maybe I shouldn't go. I mean, what if I fall for him and he doesn't like me? RORY: Then you'll find someone else. PARIS: But what if there is no one else? RORY: Then you'll buy some cats. PARIS: I wish I knew if he was right for me, you know? So I don't put myself through all of this for nothing. I mean, women fall for men who are wrong for them all of the time, and then they get sidetracked from their goals. They give up careers and become alcoholics and, if you're Sunny von Bülow, wind up in a coma completely incapable of stopping Glenn Close from playing you in a movie. RORY: I think you should wear your hair down. PARIS: How do you know if a guy is right for you? RORY: You just have to feel it. PARIS: All I feel is my back breaking out. RORY: You'll know, okay? You just have to let it happen. And then, probably when you're not looking, you'll find someone who compliments you. PARIS: Meaning? RORY: Someone who likes what you like, someone who reads the same books or listens to the same music or likes to trash the same movies. Someone compatible. PARIS: Okay. RORY: But not so compatible that they're boring. PARIS: Someone who's compatible but not compatible. RORY: Yeah, kind of. I mean, you respect each other's opinions and you can laugh at the same jokes, but I don't know – there's just something about not quite knowing what the other person's gonna do at all times that's just really exciting. Look, just have a good time, you'll figure it out. PARIS: Yeah, well, I hope I figure it out fast. . .before I throw up. [there's a knock at the door] PARIS: That's him. RORY: Turn around. PARIS: Well? RORY: Perfect. PARIS: Promise? RORY: Swear. PARIS: Thanks. Now get in the closet. RORY: What? PARIS: If he comes in here and sees you, he won't wanna date me anymore. RORY: Paris, that's crazy! He's seen me – he's seen me for weeks. PARIS: Yes, in conferences, crowded lecture halls, badly lit banquet rooms with crappy food smells, not at night when it's dating time and he's thinking about dating and you're standing there looking all datable. RORY: I'm not looking datable. PARIS: Please? I can't risk it. At least if there's nothing to compare me to, then I've got a fighting chance, please! RORY: Okay, but when you get home, you need to get a new therapist because the one you have is really not working. [goes into the closet] PARIS: Thanks for helping me get ready. RORY: [from inside closet] Any time. [Paris answers the door] PARIS: Hi. JAMIE: Hello. You look very nice. PARIS: Well, this is a really good sweater. JAMIE: So, shall we get going? PARIS: Oh, sure, sure. JAMIE: Do you like Italian food? PARIS: I love Italian food. JAMIE: Good. I've made a reservation at a great place. Well, at least, that's what the Zagat guide says. PARIS: You're perfect. JAMIE: Let's go. CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES [Lorelai and Sookie are browsing] SOOKIE: How could you not tell them? LORELAI: Well, they left two days after your wedding and they were in Martha's Vineyard all summer. It just seemed quieter. SOOKIE: What do you think, manly? [holds up a statue] LORELAI: In an Oscar Wilde sort of way, absolutely. SOOKIE: You know, you're gonna have to tell them tonight, right? I mean, the subject will come up. They probably think you and Christopher are heading down the aisle any day now. LORELAI: Ugh, I know, I know. SOOKIE: A shaving table, it's perfect! LORELAI: And twelve hundred dollars. SOOKIE: Twelve hundred dollars for what? MRS. KIM: What do you mean, for what? This is an antique. SOOKIE: Where does she come from? MRS. KIM: This was Sherman's shaving table. LORELAI: Sherman? MRS. KIM: General Sherman, famous man, burned Atlanta, liked a close shave. LORELAI: Wow, historical. MRS. KIM: All original, perfect shape. I give you ten percent off, you want it? SOOKIE: Oh, well, maybe. I just wanted to look around a little bit first. . .but it's very nice. MRS. KIM: I know it's very nice. [walks away] LORELAI: Boy, she would've made a great nun. SOOKIE: So how are you planning on telling them? LORELAI: I thought I'd do it like Nell. You know, chicka chicka chickabee. SOOKIE: Yeah, that's a very good idea. LORELAI: I'll tell them, I promise. SOOKIE: Oh, oh my God, look! [walks over to a fish mounted on a piece of wood] LORELAI: What? SOOKIE: For over the mantelpiece. It's perfect! LORELAI: It's a dead fish. SOOKIE: It's an antique stuffed and mounted trout, and I think it's manly. LORELAI: Oh, please! SOOKIE: It is! It's very Ralph Lauren. LORELAI: Sookie, Jackson loves you. You're not seriously telling me the future of your marriage depends on Leon Troutsky over there. SOOKIE: I guess not. LORELAI: Just think about it, okay? You don't have to make every decision right now. Do a little more shopping. Maybe you'll find something even more disgusting someplace else. SOOKIE: Okay. LORELAI: Okay, I gotta go pick up Rory at the airport, and then we'll swing by and pick up you guys for the festival. SOOKIE: Great. LORELAI: Okay, see you later. SOOKIE: Bye. [Lorelai walks toward the door and stops to talk to Mrs. Kim.] LORELAI: Ten bucks if you don't let her buy the fish. MRS. KIM: Twenty. LORELAI: [laughs] You're kidding? MRS. KIM: I never kid. LORELAI: You know, I believe that. CUT TO AIRPORT [Rory walks out of her gate; Lorelai calls to her from across the room] LORELAI: Hey Gilmore! RORY: Mom! [They run to each other and hug, then fall on the ground] LORELAI: Ow, ow! RORY: Ah! LORELAI: Ow! RORY: Ah! LORELAI: Oh! RORY: Agh! LORELAI: Oh, oh! Luckily there are video cameras everywhere that caught that very graceful moment on tape. RORY: I am so glad to see you! LORELAI: No, I'm glad to see you! RORY: I'm never leaving home again. LORELAI: Oh, that's my emotionally stunted girl! Hey, I got you gifts. RORY: What? I'm the one that left town, I'm supposed to get you gifts. LORELAI: Oh, but I got here early and there was nothing to do except feed gummy bears to the bomb-sniffing dogs which, apparently, the United States government frowns upon. RORY: You got in trouble with the government while you were waiting for me? LORELAI: Just a little. RORY: How much is a little? LORELAI: Learn Russian. Okay, here you go. [pulls a shirt out of the gift bag] RORY: Wow, a Hartford, Connecticut sweatshirt. LORELAI: Nice, huh? RORY: [looks through the gift bags] Hartford, Connecticut notebook, Hartford, Connecticut pencil set, a Hartford, Connecticut shot glass. LORELAI: And beer mug! RORY: Hartford baguette, Hartford bear, a Hartford sunglasses. LORELAI: You like? RORY: I love. LORELAI: All right, let's go. We'll get your bags, then we'll hit the road, and I can't wait to hear all about Washington. And, by the way, I got you out of dinner with the Gilmores tonight. I thought you and Dean might enjoy a little Peaches and Herb time together. RORY: Oh, thanks. What'd you tell them? LORELAI: That you get home tomorrow. RORY: Big fat lie. LORELAI: Yes, which proves how much I love you. The fact that I was willing to lie to my own parents who I never lie to just so you could have a night of happiness is proof positive of my deep undying devotion that I have for you. RORY: I appreciate that. LORELAI: And all that devotion can be yours for the low, low price of $29.95! RORY: Forget it. LORELAI: Okay, I'll throw in a set of steak knives. RORY: My bags, please? LORELAI: Are you telling me that you want this gesture of love for free? What kind of world are you living in? [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Lorelai and Rory walk through the front door with Rory's bags] LORELAI: Oh my God, you do know one option was leaving some of your books at home? RORY: Hey, I offered to carry that one. LORELAI: Next time, don't offer – insist. Look, I'm lopsided now. RORY: I can't believe I'm home. I feel like I've been away forever. LORELAI: I agree. RORY: Hello living room. LORELAI: Hello Rory, we missed you. Not the ottoman, of course, but everyone knows he's a snob. Napoleon complex, he only really likes the magazine rack. RORY: Oh my God, I missed everything. My kitchen, my room, my books, my CDs, my stuff. Where's my pillow? LORELAI: What? RORY: You took my pillow. LORELAI: I did not take your pillow. RORY: You waited until I left, you went into my room, and you took my pillow. LORELAI: Well, you weren't using it. RORY: What else did you take? LORELAI: Nothing. Your comforter came into my room by itself. . .and brought your Bauhaus T-shirt with it. RORY: I want my stuff back by tomorrow morning. LORELAI: Just ‘cause you leave doesn't mean the world stops. RORY: By noon. LORELAI: Fine. [Lorelai pushes the play button on the answering machine] CHRISTOPHER: [on machine] Lor, it's me, please just call – [Lorelai deletes the message] RORY: Dad? LORELAI: Yeah. RORY: Still haven't talked to him yet, huh? LORELAI: No, you? RORY: Nope. LORELAI: He's called. RORY: I know. He's called me, too. LORELAI: I just. . .I don't really know what to say. RORY: How long are you gonna freeze him out for? LORELAI: I don't know. RORY: Right. LORELAI: You? RORY: I don't know either. LORELAI: I have to tell my parents tonight. RORY: Are you sure you don't want me to go with you and . . . I don't know, distract them? LORELAI: No, you've got Dean coming over. I'll be fine. I'll bring them something shiny. RORY: Okay, I'm gonna go change then. LORELAI: For what? RORY: The festival. LORELAI: Hon, you know what, if you don't wanna go, we don't have to go. RORY: Why would I not wanna go? Of course I wanna go. LORELAI: You just got home, you've got Dean coming over. RORY: No, I wanna go. I wanna go because this is our town and we need to support these things. LORELAI: All right, but. . .you don't have to change for that. RORY: Well, I've been away for awhile, I wanna make a nice impression. LORELAI: On who? RORY: Whoever has to look at me. [they walk into Rory's bedroom] LORELAI: All right, just hustle. I promised Jackson and Sookie I'd pick them up along the way. RORY: I'll just be a minute. LORELAI: No woman is ever a minute when she changes. RORY: Do not judge me by your own standards. [pulls out a dress] LORELAI: Wow, fancy. RORY: Not fancy. LORELAI: You know, you'll have time to come home and change for Dean. RORY: Well, I can just change now, then I won't have to do it later. LORELAI: Okay. Hey Rory, I don't want you to freeze out your dad because I am. RORY: I'm not. LORELAI: ‘Cause I'm fine if you wanna go back to the way things were. RORY: I think that would be a little hard this time. LORELAI: Okay, maybe not now, but eventually. RORY: Eventually, maybe, but for now – solidarity sister. LORELAI: Ya ya! RORY: You've been waiting for six weeks to do that, haven't you? LORELAI: Ya ya! RORY: I'll just be a minute. CUT TO OUTSIDE [Lorelai and Rory walk out of some bushes near Sookie and Jackson's house] LORELAI: See, three minutes faster. I also found a way to get to Al's Pancake World that shaves a good forty seconds off our normal route. RORY: You were really bored when I was gone, weren't you? LORELAI: You have no idea. [As they walk up Sookie and Jackson's front steps, they hear yelling from inside] JACKSON: Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? SOOKIE: I don't understand why you're so upset. JACKSON: How can you not understand? I told you a thousand times. SOOKIE: I thought you were just being nice. [Lorelai and Rory peek through the front door. Sookie has redecorated the living room and filled it with masculine objects] JACKSON: Nice! Sookie, look at this place! SOOKIE: I think it looks nice. JACKSON: Nice. . .nice? This is nice. . .this is nice? [points to a life-sized stuffed grizzly bear] SOOKIE: Well, it's masculine! JACKSON: No, it's terrifying! I swear I'm gonna come out in the middle of the night for a drink of water, turn around, hit the floor and play dead! SOOKIE: Okay, so, we have a little work to do. JACKSON: Just put it back the way it was. SOOKIE: No, I want you to be happy! JACKSON: I was happy, I told you I was happy, you just didn't wanna believe I was happy! [Lorelai and Rory walk away from the house and walk toward the festival] LORELAI: We'll just check on them a little later. RORY: Excellent idea. [they walk into the crowd] LORELAI: Okay, so, do we do cheese stick, hot dog, cotton candy, or do we mix it up a little – start with the cotton candy and end with the cheese stick? Who are you looking for? RORY: No one, I'm just taking in all the madness, that's all. LORELAI: Ah. [Kirk walks up to them] KIRK: Lorelai, good. Have you used the cream yet? LORELAI: Uh, not yet, Kirk. KIRK: Good, there's been a little problem. LORELAI: What kind of problem? KIRK: Nothing of major concern. It just seems that with continual use, the cream develops some weird reactions to light. . .and air. . .and movement. LORELAI: Are you serious? KIRK: Don't worry, it's just a small kink. It'll all be worked out soon. LORELAI: I have three cases of that stuff sitting at the inn. KIRK: Well, get rid of it. LORELAI: Kirk. KIRK: Uh, but don't throw it in the trash. Apparently, that would be an EPA violation. LORELAI: What am I supposed to do with the stuff? KIRK: Shooting it into space is about all I've got now. LORELAI: Kirk! KIRK: I'll pick up the cases tomorrow. LORELAI: Thank you. [Kirk walks away] LORELAI: Hey. RORY: What? LORELAI: Do you sometimes think this town is weird or is it just me? [Lorelai and Rory walk up to Taylor] LORELAI: Hey Taylor, is this where the mosh pit starts? TAYLOR: Well, hello Lorelai, Rory. So what do you think of the band? Pretty big city, don't you think? LORELAI: Mm, I sure do. TAYLOR: What? LORELAI: What? I'm agreeing with you. They are smokin'! TAYLOR: I do not care for that sarcastic tone, Lorelai. LORELAI: Well. . .uh. . .no, I'm being nice here! TAYLOR: You have an opinion on everything. Nothing is ever up to your standards. LORELAI: That is not true. I'm sure these guys are all great barbers. TAYLOR: I don't even know why I bother. [leaves] LORELAI: That is it – I have been it for the last. . .[sees Rory staring off at something] What? [sees Jess and a girl kissing against a tree] Oh, well, looks like he's got his ‘what I did this summer' essay all researched and ready to go. Guess you dodged a bullet there, huh? RORY: What do you mean? LORELAI: I don't know. It seems kind of lucky that you didn't throw everything away for Jess when you see. . . RORY: See what? What am I seeing? LORELAI: You're upset. RORY: No, I'm not upset. LORELAI: Yes, you are upset. I know when you're upset ‘cause you look like my mother. RORY: Thanks a lot. LORELAI: You like my mother. RORY: Yes, but you don't like your mother, so when you tell me that I look like your mother, it's not exactly a compliment. LORELAI: Honey, what is wrong? RORY: Oh God! LORELAI: What is it? RORY: It's that! LORELAI: Jess? RORY: Yes! LORELAI: You're upset about Jess? RORY: I said yes. LORELAI: Yes, it's Jess? RORY: You're not being funny. LORELAI: It's not my fault that yes and Jess rhyme. Did I exploit the opportunity, of course I did, but . . .Rory, come on. I know you had this crush – RORY: It wasn't a crush. LORELAI: Well, I thought it was over. I mean, you haven't talked to him since – RORY: Sookie's wedding. LORELAI: You talked to him at Sookie's wedding? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: He wasn't at Sookie's wedding. RORY: Yes, he was. He had just come back and he came to see me. LORELAI: Okay, so he crashed Sookie's wedding, and. . . RORY: And nothing. He told me that he was back in town, that he'd moved back, and. . . LORELAI: What Rory? Come on. RORY: And we kissed, okay? LORELAI: You kissed? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: You kissed, like. . .you kissed? RORY: Yes. LORELAI: Okay, who kissed who? RORY: What does that matter? LORELAI: Because it matters. Did he kiss you, did you kiss each other, did you trip and your faces accidentally – . RORY: I kissed him. LORELAI: Okay. RORY: And I don't know, I thought he came back here because he liked me or something, and I kissed him and he kissed me back, and now he's over there and I feel so stupid and. . .that girl isn't even his type and - LORELAI: Rory, what are you doing? RORY: What do you mean, what am I doing? I'm ranting. You should recognize this, I learned it from you. LORELAI: Yeah, but you went to Sookie's wedding with. . .with Dean. RORY: I know. LORELAI: And then you ran off to have some thing with Jess. RORY: It was a kiss, not a thing. LORELAI: A kiss is a thing. RORY: Well, it wasn't planned, it just happened. LORELAI: I can't believe it. All this time I'm thinking, ‘She's with Dean.' RORY: I am with Dean. LORELAI: No, Rory – kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him, I bet he'd back me up on that. RORY: It was nothing. LORELAI: Well, then why are you so freaked out? RORY: I'm not freaked out. LORELAI: Look, kid, you have gotta make up your mind. Jess, Dean, Jess, Dean – it's enough already. If you want Jess, that's fine – go get him, there he is. If you think that's the great love of your life, then great. . .grab a liver treat and a squeaky toy and run to him. Don't worry about that girl because I'm sure he will have moved onto somebody else in about an hour. But do something. Dean has been sweet and supportive and incredibly patient, and now you are officially treating him like dirt, and I'm sorry, but not only is that not you, he doesn't deserve that. God, I wish they knew another song! RORY: I know all of this about Dean. LORELAI: You do? RORY: Yes, I do. I know how great he is. I knew it before you did! LORELAI: Well, knowing this has apparently not stopped you from dragging his heart all over this town. RORY: Not fair! LORELAI: Yes, fair, the fairest, the Snow White of fair. RORY: I don't wanna talk to you about this anymore. LORELAI: Okay, listen, if you don't wanna be with Dean anymore, cut him loose. Let him find someone who does because this is just so. . .wrong! RORY: All right, I get it, I . . .just stop! DEAN: [calls from across the street] Rory! [walks over to them] Hey. RORY: Hi. LORELAI: Hi Dean. RORY: I thought your plane didn't get in ‘til six. DEAN: Well, I managed to get an earlier flight. LORELAI: Well, I'm off to dinner with the parents. DEAN: Do you have – LORELAI: No, she's off the hook. You guys have all night to. . .talk. Enjoy. Good to have you back, Dean. DEAN: Thanks. LORELAI: See you later. [leaves] DEAN: So, did I interrupt something? RORY: No, nothing. Uh, we were just. . .hi, you're back. DEAN: Yeah, I'm back – and I'm glad to find you not blonde. RORY: Yeah, I was just having way too much fun, so . . . DEAN: I missed you. RORY: I missed you, too. CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE [The doorbell rings; Emily answers the door] EMILY: Lorelai, nice to see you. LORELAI: Oh, sorry I'm late, Mom. EMILY: No, don't be sorry. That's what the warm setting was invented for. Richard, Lorelai's here! LORELAI: Um, Mom, before we get the evening started and all, I wanna tell you something. EMILY: Well, tell me outside. LORELAI: No, I'll just do it here. EMILY: Why? LORELAI: Oh, there's just something about standing near the exit that's really working for me. EMILY: You're being silly, you don't discuss things standing by a door. Come outside, come on. RICHARD: I may have to take one more call tonight, Emily. Ben Stellen and I got cut off. Hello Lorelai. EMILY: Well, come outside with us until he calls back. Lorelai's about to tell us something. RICHARD: Oh, perhaps that she's decided to buy an accurate timepiece. EMILY: Oh, Richard. [they start walking to the back patio] Is Rory okay? LORELAI: Oh, yes, Rory's fine, I'm fine, everything's fine, it's really not that big a deal. RICHARD: What would you like to drink? LORELAI: Oh, whatever. RICHARD: I can't read minds, Lorelai. LORELAI: I really don't care, Dad. Whatever you have. RICHARD: We have everything, Lorelai. LORELAI: Al right, I'll have a Yaegermeister and a Jell-O shot. RICHARD: Uh, excuse me? LORELAI: White wine. EMILY: All right, sit, sit. [they sit down] Now go ahead, tell us. LORELAI: Okay, well – EMILY: Oh, wait just a second. We brought you something from Martha's Vineyard. LORELAI: Oh, that's great, but maybe we could just do. . . [Emily hands her a gift bag]. . .okay, I guess it's present time. EMILY: Open it. [pulls something out of the bag] LORELAI: Scone mix, wow. EMILY: This new little place opened right down the road from our house and they make these wonderful scones, and that is their mix so you can make them right in your own kitchen. LORELAI: Well, thanks, Mom. I will put this right on the counter and stare at it for many years to come. EMILY: You're not going to make them? LORELAI: Oh, I'm not really much of a baker. EMILY: But the instructions are right there on the back. LORELAI: Yeah, I know, but still. EMILY: Still what? Those are good scones. LORELAI: Hey, maybe I'll give this to Sookie and she'll bake them. EMILY: I don't understand why you simply can't follow those directions and make the scones. RICHARD: Rory would love those scones. LORELAI: Okay, I promise one way or another, the scones will get eaten. That being said, can we please move on? EMILY: Fine, go ahead, talk, we're listening. LORELAI: Um, okay, well, um, it's about Christopher. EMILY: Oh, that reminds me, we got him a captain's hat. Richard, where is that hat? Lorelai can bring it to him. LORELAI: No, I can't! EMILY: Why not? LORELAI: Well, it's just, um. . .Chris and I aren't . . . RICHARD: Aren't what? EMILY: They aren't together anymore, Richard. RICHARD: Why not? EMILY: I'm sure a vague reason is forthcoming. LORELAI: It just didn't work out, that's all. EMILY: And there it is. LORELAI: I know you're disappointed. EMILY: Disappointed, oh please! Lorelai, this is ridiculous. The two of you aren't in high school anymore. LORELAI: I know. RICHARD: Emily, let's not talk about this. EMILY: No, we are going to talk about it. You're running around like you have no responsibility in life, like you can flit from thing to thing. . . LORELAI: That's not true. EMILY:. . .from man to man. LORELAI: I don't flit from man to man. EMILY: You have a daughter, this affects Rory too, you know! RICHARD: Emily, you're wasting your breath. LORELAI: I know this affects Rory. I'm not doing this lightly. In fact, I'm not doing anything at all. RICHARD: There's no reason to raise your voice. LORELAI: I can't believe this. EMILY: I wanna know why. I want a reason. I don't want any of this ‘just because' and ‘it just didn't work out' nonsense. I want a solid, adult reason why the father of my granddaughter and her mother can't seem to put a family together. LORELAI: His girlfriend is pregnant. EMILY: What? LORELAI: Sherry is pregnant, and when Christopher found out, he went back to her and that, Mother, is the reason. EMILY: Are they getting married? LORELAI: I don't know – probably. RICHARD: Oh, of course they're getting married. EMILY: How do you know? RICHARD: I know because I know Christopher, and Christopher always tries to do the right thing. EMILY: The right thing is for him to be with his family. Lorelai and Rory are his family. He met this woman two minutes ago. RICHARD: Emily, he is going to be a father. EMILY: He already is a father! LORELAI: I really really don't wanna discuss this anymore. EMILY: Lorelai, you have to talk to him. LORELAI: There's nothing to talk about. EMILY: Tell him you wanna get married. LORELAI: Okay, Mom, please stop. RICHARD: Yes, Emily, please stop. You know that Lorelai never does anything unless she wants to – no matter the consequences to anyone else. LORELAI: What's that supposed to mean? EMILY: Lorelai wants to be with Christopher, she told us that at the wedding. RICHARD: Yes, and now the wind has changed. LORELAI: Excuse me? RICHARD: Christopher is living up to his responsibilities as he tried to do many years ago with Lorelai, then she turned him down and turned him away. LORELAI: I was sixteen. RICHARD: If Christopher has found someone who will actually allow him to be a father to his own child, then of course, that's what he's going to do. EMILY: So you support this? RICHARD: I understand this. EMILY: I am appalled by your attitude. RICHARD: And I am shocked by your naïveté. Did you really expect this to work out? Did you really have pictures of Norman Rockwell family Christmases dancing in your head? Lorelai had her chance for a family, she walked away from it. That was her choice. He has a chance to be a father. I applaud him. EMILY: Then you're an idiot. RICHARD: If you'll excuse me, I'm going into my study. EMILY: Richard! You do not walk out on me when we are having a discussion. Richard! [While Emily and Richard are arguing, Lorelai walks into the house and leaves through the front door] CUT TO STARS HOLLOW [Lorelai pulls up in the town square. She looks around, then walks into Luke's Diner. Luke is standing at the cash register.] LUKE: We're closed. LORELAI: I know. Look, I didn't come here to make up, or to try to get you to forgive me, or talk. I wouldn't even have come here at all but I had a really crappy night and I really, really need a cup of coffee. Just pretend I'm not me. I'm Mimi, a new customer. I've never been in here before. I was just walking down the street and I spotted this place. ‘Ooh, hey, nice place.' And I came in. Now Mimi is going to pour herself a cup of coffee and sit over here way far away from you, and she promises, just as soon as she's done, she will rinse out her own cup and leave. [Lorelai pours herself a cup of coffee and sits at the end of the counter.] LORELAI: This is the second time I let myself do this. LUKE: Do what? LORELAI: Think I finally found it. LUKE: Found what? LORELAI: Love, comfort, safety. LUKE: Ah. LORELAI: I mean, first with Max, which of course, I screwed up, and then with Christopher, which of course, all the elements of the universe got together to screw up. LUKE: Yup, it's tough when the universe is against you. That's like taking on the Manhattan garbage union. LORELAI: I always thought if he could just get it together, grow up – maybe we could do it. Maybe we could really be a family, in the stupid, traditional ‘Dan Quayle, golden retriever, grow old together, wear matching jogging suits' kind of way. And then he did get it together – he became that guy. . . and he gets to be that guy with her. Chris is gonna have a baby with his girlfriend. He's gonna marry her. . .and he's gonna be there for her while she's pregnant and he's gonna be there with her while her child grows up, and he's gonna be there for her while she does. . . whatever it is she does. And I am in exactly the same place that I was in before. LUKE: Is that so bad? I mean, you got Rory. LORELAI: Yes, I do. LUKE: You got friends, you got a house, a job, apparently an iron stomach. LORELAI: No, it's not so bad. I'm lucky, I know. I just. . .I feel like I'm never gonna have it. . .the whole package, you know? That person, that couple life, and I swear, I hate admitting it because I fancy myself Wonder Woman, but. . .I really want it – the whole package. [Luke puts a donut on a plate, then slides it down the counter to her] LUKE: You'll get it. LORELAI: How do you know? LUKE: I know. LORELAI: How do you know? LUKE: Because I know, okay? I know. Now eat your donut. LORELAI: I'm really not very hungry. LUKE: Well, take it with you. You will be later. [Lorelai wraps up the donut and puts it in her purse, then pulls out some money] LUKE: Forget it, first time customers are on the house. Mimi, was it? LORELAI: Yeah. LUKE: Come again, Mimi. LORELAI: Thanks, I will. Seems like a very nice place. CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE [Rory is in the living room as Lorelai walks into the house] LORELAI: Hey, you're home. RORY: Yup, I'm home. LORELAI: Oh, hey, I figured how to get the Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer out of our heads – to sing the Small World song over and over for the next forty-eight hours. Of course, how we get the Small World song out of our heads, I have not worked out yet. Okay, see, that was not how that whole scene between us was supposed to go. RORY: No? [They sit down on the couch] LORELAI: No. I mean, yes, I was surprised and I do think the basic sentiment of ‘make up your mind' was kind of called for. RORY: Absolutely called for. LORELAI: But I didn't mean to upset you and yell at you and make you feel bad, I'm really sorry, hon. RORY: I know, but you were right. LORELAI: Ah, well, that's once, I guess. RORY: So how was dinner? LORELAI: So how was Dean? RORY: So how was dinner? LORELAI: So how was Dean? RORY: Ladies and Gentlemen, the Williams' sisters take center stage at Wimbledon once again. LORELAI: Dinner was bad. RORY: Sorry. LORELAI: That's okay, I knew it would be. Oh, but the good news is we can now go back to Luke's. RORY: You made up! How did you make up? LORELAI: Well, I'm Mimi now. RORY: Oh, sure. LORELAI: So speaking of Dean, is there still a Dean? RORY: Yeah, there's still a Dean. LORELAI: Really? RORY: I don't know what I was doing. Maybe it's because I haven't dated a lot but this Jess thing was crazy. And I do love Dean and you were absolutely right – I was treating him like dirt and I wasn't appreciating what was right in front of me, but I'm going to now. LORELAI: Rory, I don't want you to stay with Dean because of me. RORY: I know. LORELAI: ‘Cause I was upset earlier. RORY: I know. LORELAI: I still have this Christopher thing bugging me and the pressure of tonight's dinner. RORY: I know. LORELAI: I didn't wanna upset you and I certainly don't want you to make an important decision off of – RORY: Mom. LORELAI: Because it's too important – RORY: Mom. LORELAI: And I just want you to be happy. RORY: Mom! All I did was think about what you said, that's all. Then I analyzed the situation. LORELAI: And then you made a pro and con list. RORY: You're mocking me, but yes, I did. And after all of this, I came to the conclusion that I want to make things good with Dean, and he deserves my undivided attention. LORELAI: And you feel good about this? RORY: I feel really good about this. LORELAI: Okay, because if you decided you really did wanna date Jess, I would help you. . .get vaccinated. RORY: Thank you, but I'm good. LORELAI: All right, as long as you're good. RORY: I am good. LORELAI: Well, okay, good. RORY: What about you, are you good? LORELAI: Me? Well, I'm gonna be good. RORY: Is there anything I can do to help? LORELAI: Your existence is a huge help. RORY: We're both gonna be good. LORELAI: Yeah. I wonder if Christopher and Sherry's baby is going to look like me? RORY: Well, if the kid knows what's good for it, it absolutely will. LORELAI: Hand me my purse, will you? I'm hungry.

Amidst her sadness about Christopher, Lorelai has an intriguing dream about Luke; Rory returns from Washington to realize that she still may have feelings for Jess, but a chance encounter at the First Annual Stars Hollow End of Summer Madness Festival makes her realize that he may have moved on to someone else; relationship quarrels abound -- Sookie and Jackson over decorating their house, Lorelai and Rory over Jess versus Dean, Emily and Richard over Lorelai and Christopher -- but are on the path to resolution; and Rory once again guides Paris through the rocky shoals of preparing for a date.

fd_The_O.C._03x20

fd_The_O.C._03x20_0

Opening scene - Seth's bedroom - Summer and Seth are in there together. Summer is wearing a winter parka, and pulls another one out of a box Summer: (calls) Cohen come out I wanna see Seth: alright (Seth comes out wearing red longjohns, he doesn't look happy about it either,lol) Seth: (frowns) I feel like Paul Kettle Summer: (looks Seth up and down) not bad (smiles, holds out parka) try this on Seth: (raises eyebrows) oh wow you got us matching parkas Summer: mm-hmm (turns back to the box) an matching hats an matching scarves, we're gonna be the warmest most coordinated couple at Brown Seth: yeah, you think your jumpin the gun a little bit we wont get our acceptance letters till tomorrow Summer: oh please with your dorked out grades an my NASA level SAT's we are so getting in Seth: its Brown (holds out hands) everyone's got good grades an SAT's its very possible that neither of us could get in or that one of us could Summer: uh-huh, an which one of us would that be Cohen Seth: it's just as likely you'll get in an I wont Summer: (turns around) an you really believe that Seth: yeah, an then where would you be (Summer looks at him) be stuck in Providence with one half of a his an hers parka set Summer: (screws up face) yeah like id go if you didn't Seth: what (looks at Summer) Summer: Cohen, duh, I applied ta Brown so that we could be together I'm not going without you Seth: ...Summer Browns one of the top universities in the world people dream about going there Summer: no, you dream about going there (moves closer) I dream about being with the one I love (Seth looks down, Summer lifts the hood of Seth's parka onto his head and brushes the fluffy edging. Seth sniffs) Summer: aww even all padded up you still look so scrawny (frowns) Seth: I'm gonna go get some water I'm sweating so much I'm getting dehydrated (Seth heads towards the door and Summer kind of waves it off and goes back to her box) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan and Sadie are on Ryan's bed making out pretty intensely. Ryan is on top of Sadie and he pulls her leg to his, we're seeing this from behind and then we see a close up of their faces Sadie: I thought you were making me dinner Ryan: an I did Sadie: yeah Ryan: mm-hmm (kisses) Sadie: (shakes head) you didn't let me eat it (smiles) Ryan: well no ones stopping you Sadie: (kisses) really Ryan: mm (kisses) Sadie: ok (sits up) well in that case Ryan: no ooo (gently pushes Sadie back down) no (kisses) Sadie: what Ryan: mm (Ryan stops kissing Sadie and lies next to her) Ryan: so with the ninety day escrow (thinks) that means you'll be in town foooooor Sadie: ninety more days Einstein (smiles) Ryan: right (Sadie laughs) that makes sense Sadie: (rubs Ryan's chest) until you get accepted to whatever college you applied to Ryan: yeah (sits up) (Sadie sits up slowly) Sadie: ok, should I not have mentioned it (looks at Ryan) Ryan: no no its fine (looks at Sadie) your right Sadie: your letter should be arriving like tomorrow right Ryan: yeah Sadie: I'm sorry but I've found ignoring the future never makes it go away Ryan: (nods) well whatever happens we'll make it work (kisses Sadie) (frowns) umm we should eat before the burgers get cold ill-ill grab some water (Ryan leaves and Sadie watches him - the next thing we see is Ryan coming into the kitchen from outside. he sighs and we see the back of Seth standing at the fridge with the door open) Ryan: hi Seth: hey, you want a water Ryan: sure (Seth takes 2 bottled waters out of the fridge and hands one to Ryan) Seth: I was jus (points) coolin myself off (Ryan nods, drinks) all this time I thought gettin inta college...would make everything so much easier (drinks) Ryan: yeah (looks at Seth) not gonna happen Seth: (looks at Ryan, swallows, frowns) there's a cold front comin through (Seth looks away and pulls the fluffy edging down over his eyes. Ryan looks away as well) Theme song - California by Phantom Planet Roberts' backyard - Summer is sitting at the table for breakfast and Marissa comes over and sits down, she has a bowl of dry cereal Marissa: pass the milk (Summer holds up a small jug of something white) Marissa: that's cream, I said milk (looks at Summer) (Summer puts the jug of cream down and hands Marissa a taller jug with milk in it) Summer: eating breakfast are we (Marissa pours milk over her cereal) does this mean we're actually going to school today or d'you (frowns) just need the extra strength for all the small children you an Volchok plan to mug (raises eyebrows) Marissa: (fake laughs) hahaha (looks down) (Julie comes out) Julie: big day girls, college letters arriving, are you excited (smiles) Marissa: yeah, delirious Julie: (sits) don't be nervous Marissa your getting inta Berkeley (looks at Marissa) I feel it in my bones Marissa: (stands) I gotta get ta school Julie: oh Marissa, your friend who dropped you off last night (Marissa looks at her) his motorcycle kind of woke up Neil you might want to apologise Marissa: why, incase Dr. Roberts changes his mind (raises eyebrows) about marrying into our trailer park family (thinks) that's not really my problem (leaves) Julie: Marissa, well she's really outdone herself again (Summer looks down) listen Summer how worried do I need to be about her Summer: ...I don't know (looks at Julie) she's not exactly confiding in me right now (Summer and Julie look at each other. Neil comes out) Neil: morning everybody Summer: hi dad Neil: hey sweetheart, feelin lucky (kisses Summers head) Summer: um yes (closes eyes) my aura is green Neil: oh that has'ta be good, where's Marissa Julie: she- Summer: (looks at Julie) went ta school early (looks at Neil) cause she's nervous with all the college letters an stuff Neil: oh Berkeley would be lucky ta have her (Julie smiles) an just think it's just a short motorcycle ride away (Julie raises her eyebrows at Neil. Summer looks at Julie while eating, Julie raises her eyebrows again) CUT TO: Henry Griffin's tennis court - we see Henry hitting tennis balls from an automatic ball server thing. he hits three over the net and then Sandy walks over Sandy: wow that's a hell of a forehand, imagine that connecting with somebody's head Henry: hey Sandy I didn't know you were comin by (holds out hand) Sandy: (points) yeah the gate was unlocked, you should be more conscious'a security Henry: well I'm assuming these are somewhat subtle references to what happened to Matt, hope he's ok Sandy: listen lets just skip to the part where you tell me you had (shakes head) nothin to do with it Henry: is he implying that I did Sandy: Matt hasn't said anything, this is me talking, I want this hospital built more than anything...but if you haven't resigned within forty eight hours (Henry looks at him) I'm gonna do everything in my power to take you down (Henry looks away then down) an I was lying (looks at Henry) your forehand sucks (Sandy leaves and Henry watches him before turning away) CUT TO: Harbor school - in the student lounge a banner is being put up as Taylor looks on. the banner is maroon and black with a picture of a sweatshirt in the middle, the word SWEATSHIRT is in solid yellow with white edging, and then in the right corner is BONFIRE in black with yellow edging. at the top on the right is SCHOOL in a yellowy orange Taylor: I-I- I don't know about that, that just doesn't look right to me (Seth, Summer & Ryan walk up the stairs near where Taylor is) Taylor: (notices) oh you guys, I'm so glad to see you (Seth waves) Summer: oh, hey what's up Taylor: have you spoken to Marissa lately Summer: well if you count pass the milk an don't be so skanky (Ryan and Seth look from Summer to Taylor) Taylor: well I need to talk to her about the college sweatshirt bonfire, oh, you guys are coming right Seth: (Ryan looks at him) is that the thing where all the seniors wear the sweatshirts (Taylor nods) of the colleges there going to, cause that always struck me as incredibly lame Taylor: oh an I need your help passing out these fliers (hands fliers to Summer) Ryan: I gotta get to class (leaves) Seth: I gotta too (follows Ryan) (Summer looks at Seth and Ryan, poor thing) Summer: w- (sighs) Taylor: I know you guys are just making an excuse (holds Summers wrist so she cant follow) to get away from me, its ok it's cute (waves it off) anyway about Marissa Summer: yeah, I wouldn't count on her Taylor: (scoffs) well that's great she's suppose'ta get the food for the party, this is so typical (Summer raises her eyebrows) you know people join social committee they think its all fun an games (takes out cell phone) then who ends up doing the work when someone (dials) decides to go all Last Exit To Brooklyn, hm (looks at Summer) Taylor that's who Summer: no, I think she's just going through something right now Taylor: Seung Ho its Taylor, hi listen how much (while Taylor is talking on the phone Summer looks over and notices Marissa come in. Marissa looks at Summer then looks away. Summer does the same) Taylor: Kimchi can you get me by tomorrow night (leaves and takes Summer with her) you are saving my ass Seung Ho you are really saving my ass (Marissa's cell rings and she looks at who is calling then answers) Marissa: hey, I'm glad you called (we now see Volchok at what I assume is where he lives, its like a loft) Volchok: that's the first time anyone's ever said that (smiles) what's up Marissa: nothing, well college letters are arriving today an my moms been pressuring me about it...an Summer an I are fighting (sighs) so I guess maybe everything Volchok: well um (sits on the couch) some'a the guys are gonna party on the beach tonight, maybe you should come y'know, take the edge off Marissa: (smiles) can you pick me up Volchok: yeah ill be there in a half hour (hangs up) (Marissa hangs up, she raises her eyebrows and looks almost happy!) CUT TO: Johnny's house - we hear a knock and then Ryan walks in. Sadie is folding bath towels on the floor Sadie: hey you Ryan: hey, thought id stop by Sadie: well I'm flattered (smiles) taking time outta your busy day to come see me when you have a very important (Ryan sits) letter waiting for you at home Ryan: (leans forward) can I say I couldn't help myself (kisses Sadie) Sadie: ah-huh (kisses) you know I could probably tell you if you got in Ryan: yeah (raises eyebrows, nods) Sadie: I could, I never mentioned I could read palms Ryan: no, must've slipped your mind (smiles) Sadie: must have (Sadie takes Ryan's hand and sits down next to him on the couch, we see a close up of her running her fingers gently over Ryan's palm) Sadie: well (looks at Ryan) your gonna be rich Ryan: well that's nice to know Sadie: (looks) oh whoops sorry, I read it upside down so flip that Ryan: well, easy come (smiles) Sadie: this is important, it's warning against (looks at Ryan) dark haired beauties who walk into your life Ryan: (raises his eyebrows, looks down) really, what'does it say Sadie: says if your not very very careful (looks at Ryan) they'll steal your heart (Ryan smiles a huge smile at Sadie and then they kiss. Ryan puts the folded towels on the floor and moves closer to Sadie) Ryan: an in all that there's-there's nothin about college Sadie: yeah yeah, you got in (nods) (Ryan has a wide eyed expression and then he closes his eyes as they continue kissing) CUT TO: Roberts' house - Volchok and Marissa ride up on his motorcycle. Marissa gets off and Volchok takes his helmet off, Marissa hands her helmet to Volchok Marissa: alright I just need to grab a jacket Volchok: um, any chance you could get some beer money, I'm a little short Marissa: sure, ill be right back (the next thing we see is Marissa coming down the stairs as she puts her jacket on. she un-tucks her hair from the jacket and goes over to Julies purse sitting on the side. she looks around and then unzips the purse and pulls out a wad of cash. Marissa shoves the money down the side of one of her boots and then zips Julies purse back up, as she does she notices the envelope from Berkeley. she picks it up and looks at it for a few seconds before turning it over and opening it. she pulls out the contents and starts reading, we see a close up of the letter, the parts we can see read Dear Marissa, Congratulations on your acc Of California, Berkeley. Ther Berkeley, anywhere, and you h are now challenged with makin of selecting which major cour pursue. We know that this can we then see Marissa's reaction to the news of her acceptance! she raises her eyebrows and looks pleasantly suprised and slightly relieved. she looks down at the letter for a few seconds and then looks up then back down almost as if she cant believe it, all of a sudden her happiness/confidence disappears and she throws everything in the trash, aww we then hear the door open and close as she leaves CUT TO: Cohen house - the angle of the shot is inside their letter box looking out, we see as Seth opens the door and looks inside, he pulls out the stack of mail and then closes the door. the next thing we see is him come back into the house. he takes off the elastic band and then lifts up Ryan's Berkeley letter and puts it to the bottom of the stack, he looks down at his Brown letter which is now at the top CUT TO: Roberts' house - Summer picks up her Brown envelope and looks at it and then turns it over and opens it. we see a shocked expression from Summer then part of what the letter says like before with Marissa. it reads Dear Summer, I hope you are as pleased to receive this admitted to the 243rd class to enter The Admission has selected from nearly 18, members of the class of 2010, will give class ever. You will be one of 1,440 fre remarkable diversity of strengths and in we believe you can contribute to our ac from the wonderful opportunities that d we then see Summers reaction, she makes a fist and sort of bounces excitedly on the spot Summer: oh my god (laughs, smiles) CUT TO: Cohen house - Ryan comes in the door and grabs the Berkeley envelope from the side. he rips it open and pulls the letter out, we see what it says. it's identical to Marissa's except for Dear Ryan, Ryan: oh my god (smiles) (we then see Seth with his Brown envelope. he sits on his bed and opens the envelope, he starts reading the letter. we then see a close up of part of it, and it reads ission has completed it it is with real regret that ong our acceptances. T sible for the decision as the camera zooms in to emphasise the words real regret. we then see Seth's stunned expression) Seth: oh my god (Seth looks up - downstairs Summer comes in the front door) Summer: (calls) hello (Ryan is in the kitchen with the Berkeley letter) Ryan: (calls) Summer (Summer rushes in excitedly with a smile on her face) Ryan: hey Summer: I got in! (huge smile) Ryan: what! yeeeaaahhh, alright (Ryan excitedly picks Summer up in a hug and spins her around, aww) Ryan: ah congratulations, that's amazing Summer: thanks, did you Ryan: yeah (nods) Summer: really (claps) Ryan: yes Summer: oh congratulations! Ryan: thankyou Summer: where's Cohen Ryan: uhhh I I don't- (Seth comes down the stairs) Seth: hey Ryan: hey Seth: so you guys both got in Ryan: yeah, you (Seth looks from Ryan to Summer) Summer: (worried) oh my god (Ryan looks at Summer, Summer looks at Ryan then Seth) Seth: ...pack your muffler (smiles) we're goin to Brown (a relieved Summer hugs Seth) Ryan: yeah Summer: oooooohhh Seth: (kisses Summers head) mwa Ryan: oh man (touches Seth's shoulder) Seth: yeah yeah that's awesome dude (shakes Seth's hand) Seth: (to Ryan) an I'm proud'a you Summer: sooo happy Ryan: hey hey hey (Ryan hugs Seth and Summer so its a group hug, aww. we see a close up Seth's worried face) CUT TO: Seth's bedroom, next morning - Seth is on the phone in his robe and PJ's, he's pacing while talking Seth: hello, hi, I've been on hold since five in the morning so I- here's my question, is there some sort of possibility that a mistake was made cause I mean mistakes can happen (scratches head) right even at Brown (later) no no I'm not tryin'a be sarcastic at all, let me ask you this is there some sort of appeals process or um (later) next year (raises eyebrows, laughs) lady my girlfriend is is is is g- hello (Seth rubs his neck and hangs up, then screws up his face) Seth: (frustrated) yaaaaahhhhh (later) (frowns) oooohhh CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Sandy is in there looking out the window, distracted and Kirsten comes in Kirsten: Sandy Sandy: (looks) oh hey Kirsten: good morning (kisses Sandy) mmm (wraps arms around Sandy's neck) whatever problems your thinking about right now let them go (smiles) our kids got inta college its a big day Sandy: (smiles) oh your right, we did it (raises eyebrows) Kirsten: we did it (smiles) Sandy: we did it (Seth comes in) Seth: I see the self congratulation has begun Kirsten: aah (runs over to Seth) oh, we are (hugs Seth) so proud of you Sandy: a Cohen in the Ivy Leagues, you did the work but I think our genes deserve some'a the credit (hugs Seth) (Seth seems to be uncomfortable with all the attention he's getting) Seth: thanks Sandy: we knew you could do it (rubs Seth's back) Seth: oh hey there's Ryan, he got inta college to (points) give him some hugs Kirsten: congratulations (hugs Ryan) ooh (Ryan smiles) Sandy: our next generation Berkeley man, congratulations (hugs Ryan) Ryan: thankyou (Seth drinks his water) Kirsten: we're so proud, both of you Sandy: an you know what we should have a celebration dinner (Seth raises his eyebrows) tonight, please invite your ladies Ryan: yeah Seth: (frowns) I don't know, you think we're makin too big a deal though (Ryan frowns at him) Kirsten: your fathers right seven thirty Ryan: sure sure (touches Seth's arm) thanks Seth: no more hugging though physical contact freaks me out (Ryan and Seth leave. Kirsten laughs) Kirsten: feeling better Sandy: (raises eyebrows, smiles) yeah (Kirsten kisses Sandy) CUT TO: Roberts' backyard - Julie is leaving a message for Marissa Julie: Marissa I don't know where you were last night or what you think your doing but you call me as soon as you get this, I've had it young lady (Julie hangs up and sighs. Neil comes out holding Marissa's Berkeley letter) Julie: oh, Neil your up, can I get you some coffee Neil: no (sits) Julie: Summer just left, she's so excited about Brown, she wanted to stop by REI on the way to school something about a sub zero sleeping bag (Neil picks up Marissa's Berkeley letter) Marissa must of left super early this morning (sits) I'm worried she didn't get in an maybe is embarrassed to tell me (frowns) Neil: (looks at the Berkeley letter) she got in Julie: excuse me Neil: (holds out Berkeley stuff) I found this in the trash when I got home last night Julie: (looks at letter) oh my god Neil: Julie we both know she didn't spend the night here (Julie looks at him) I don't know what's goin on but we have'ta stop pretending that it's not happening (looks at Julie) (Julie looks at him) you've gotta talk to her (Julie looks down) CUT TO: Volchok's loft - Volchok and Marissa are on a mattress together with the covers over them. Volchok has one of his arms draped on Marissa. Marissa stirs and looks over at Volchok, after a few seconds she sits up and then sits on the edge of the bed while she puts her dress on. we see this first through a red mesh curtain thing which you cant see through very clearly, then it changes to a clearer blue one as she pulls the dress down. as Marissa walks away from the bed Volchok reaches his arm over to where Marissa was and stirs when he realises she's not there. Marissa sits down on the coffee table and puts her socks on Volchok: you late for somethin Marissa: I figured id make an appearance at Harbor, its only fourth period (smiles) Volchok: so what're you doing tomorrow Marissa: my schools having this party thing I have'ta go to, all the seniors wear the sweatshirt to the college they got into, its Volchok: the gayest thing I've ever heard (looks at Marissa) (Marissa looks at him then down) so your really thinkin about going to college Marissa: why, you don't see it (smiles) (Volchok raises his eyebrows and then sits on the edge of the bed) Volchok: so uh me an some'a the guys are going to Baja for the weekend, you know surf, smoke some Mexican green (smiles, looks at Marissa) wanna come (Marissa looks at him) or can't you miss your gay sweatshirt party (Marissa looks as though she's thinking) CUT TO: Harbor school - Ryan is in the student lounge and Summer goes over to him Summer: hey, Atwood, have you seen Skeletor Ryan: uh no why Summer: well I bought us thermal face masks for Providence an I wanted him to try his on Ryan: oh, well why don't you just bring em to dinner tonight (Summer looks at him, clueless) Sandy an Kirsten the uh celebration thingy (raises eyebrows) I'm sure he meant ta tell you Summer: oh (nods) well yeah, probably Ryan: probably (smiles uncomfortably) Summer: (looks down) um, when you see him will you give him this (Summer yanks Ryan's head down by the front of his hair and then walks off. Ryan screws up his face and then turns around, he notices a foot that looks alot like Seth's. we see someone slouched on the couch reading, with his foot up on the table. Ryan pulls the calculus book down and we see that it is indeed Seth) Ryan: hey man (sits next to Seth) um, Summer was lookin for you (looks at Seth) I uh invited her for tonight Seth: (nods) cool, good Ryan: (nods) everything ok Seth: yeah no I'm just uh, if she sees me she'll dress me like a Timberland Barbie, did you invite Sadie Ryan: iiim going over to her place after school Seth: did you tell her you got inta Berkeley Ryan: no, I don't know it's kinda difficult, you know I mean we haven't really been goin out that long (Seth looks down) but I mean what'do you do when only one'a you is goin ta college Seth: oh (raises eyebrows) man I wish I knew (Ryan and Seth both look as though they are thinking) CUT TO: Johnny's house - Sadie is hanging some of her jewelry on a stand on the counter and Ryan comes in Ryan: hey Sadie: hey, perfect timing, I just finished working (Ryan sits opposite her at the breakfast bar) so (smiles) congratulations (Ryan looks at her) psychic remember (Ryan looks down) an when you didn't call last night Ryan: yeah well uh...yeah (nods) Sadie: (nods, smiles) I'm happy for you Ryan: thankyou (Sadie and Ryan lean towards each other and kiss then sit back down) Sadie: so you wanna mention the elephant in the room or should I Ryan: so I've been thinking uh I don't have'ta go up till August (raises eyebrows) we could have the summer Sadie: mm yeah (shakes head) not so inta relationships with an egg timer on them Ryan: (sighs, goes over to Sadie) Sadie, the last few months Sadie: ok Ryan, pet peeve, having a guy tell me how amazing I am while dumping me, rings (squints) kinda false you know Ryan: I was gonna say, that I've ben happier than I've ever been with anyone I've dated (Sadie looks at Ryan, Ryan looks at her. after a few seconds Sadie stands) Sadie: I'm still in Newport because of you (Ryan looks at her) making jewelry, a very portable business you see where I'm going with this Ryan: ...you would move to Berkeley Sadie: yeah I would...if you want me to (Ryan kisses Sadie. Sadie wraps her arm around Ryan's back) Ryan: yeah I do (Sadie smiles and touches her forehead to Ryan's) CUT TO: Cohen house - Summer comes into the kitchen wearing cats eye glasses and a tweed Brown blazer, she looks quite the academic achiever Summer: hello Mr. an Mrs. Cohen (Sandy and Kirsten look at Summer, suprised) Sandy: well hello Summer Kirsten: (smiles) hi Summer Summer: my dad just dropped me off (Seth comes in) Seth: hey is dinner ready (notices Summer) oh my god Summer: get use to it Cohen cause this is what your gonna be looking at for the next four years Seth: mm-hmm (Ryan and Sadie come in holding hands) Ryan: hey we're not late are we Kirsten: not at all, we're glad your here (Ryan and Sadie look at Summer. Summer smiles oblivious) Sandy: now everybody outside dinner is served (Ryan, Sadie, Summer, Seth, Kirsten and then Sandy head out of the kitchen. the next thing we see they are all sitting at the table in the backyard) Sadie: so Ryan told me that you guys actually went to Berkeley Sandy: yes Seth: please don't have them tell the Halloween story again (Kirsten smiles) Sandy: let's just say we met under unusual circumstances (for those that are curious we can now see a bit of how everyone is sitting, its Kirsten, Sandy, Ryan, Sadie, Summer and then Seth. Sadie and Ryan are holding hands on the table) Kirsten: it's a beautiful place you should try an visit (Sadie looks at Ryan) Ryan: uh well actually Sadie's gonna be comin up to Berkeley with me Sandy: when you go up to look at the school Ryan: no to live Seth: what (Summer looks down) Kirsten: I don't understand, did you apply to Berkeley Sadie: no, no it's just my business (looks at Ryan) can kinda go anywhere an (Ryan nods) Ryan's gonna be up there, so we figured why not (Kirsten looks at Sandy) Sandy: so uh when did you decide this Ryan: this afternoon (smiles) Sadie: (to Ryan) it was my suggestion Ryan: (looks at Sadie) uh no actually I think I asked you (Kirsten and Sandy look at each other. Ryan and Sadie look at everyone. cue the awkward silence. after a few seconds) Summer: well I think its great (Seth looks at her) finding the right person an then deciding to be with them no matter what that's what life's about right (Sadie looks over at Summer appreciatively, Summer smiles at her and then looks at Seth. Seth looks down, Summer looks away) Sadie: you know I'm actually kinda tired Ryan: Sadie Sadie: (stands) I'm gonna go home Kirsten: oh w nnnnn no Sadie: thankyou both very much for dinner Sandy: oh well Ryan: (stands) ill walk you out (Sadie and Ryan head inside. everyone watches, we see close ups of Sandy and Kirsten's worried/stunned faces) CUT TO: Roberts' house - the range rover pulls up out the front and we see that Seth has driven Summer home Summer: ? so quiet tonight is anything wrong Seth: no I'm fine Summer: I still can't believe that Ryan an Sadie are moving to Berkeley together I think that is so romantic Seth: (shakes head) I don't know what Ryan's thinking Summer: (looks at Seth) what're you talking about Seth: well he's eighteen I just think college should come first Summer: well not if you're with the one you think you should be with, like forever be with Seth: yeah well who really knows that at eighteen Summer: I do (Seth doesn't say anything, just keeps looking down) oh my god...you don't Seth: (looks at Summer) Summer, that's not what I m Summer: no you know what, I have'ta go (Summer takes off her seatbelt and quickly gets out of the car, on the verge of tears. Seth looks down sadly) CUT TO: Marissa's bedroom, next morning - Marissa is packing clothes into a bag and we hear a knock. Marissa looks over and Julie opens the door Marissa: if your here about the sweatshirt party I'm not going so if you wanna yell, yell Julie: (walks in) actually I was hoping that we could just talk (Marissa looks at her) Marissa I don't know what's going on with you or what I did wrong...although I'm sure we could come up with a few things but...I just cant bear to see you doing this to yourself Marissa: mom, this isn't about you (looks down, shakes head) I just keep tryin'a picture myself at Berkeley an- I can't Julie: that-that just means your scared honey an that's fine (Marissa looks at her then away) look Marissa I've ben in that place before, where you lose faith in yourself (Marissa looks at her) but honey I believe in you an you deserve this Marissa: (looks at Julie, unsure) I don't know mom Julie: Marissa please don't give up on yourself, you have no idea how much I want this for you Marissa: (closes eyes) I-...ill think about it Julie: that's all I want (Julie leaves, on the verge of tears and Marissa looks down) CUT TO: Seth's bedroom - Seth is buried under the covers an we hear a knock. Seth pulls the covers down off his face and Ryan comes in with 2 coffees Seth: hey (Ryan puts a coffee down on Seth's bedside table) Seth: thanks man Ryan: sure (sits) Seth: (sits up) did you talk ta the parents yet Ryan: you know what in hindsight, breakin the uh Sadie news to em that way probably not a very good plan Seth: well at least my dad didn't have an actual heart attack at the table, so that's a plus Ryan: that's true, anything happen after I left Seth: Summer an I got into a soul crushing fight about Brown Ryan: (screws up face) mm (swallows) I'm sorry have you talked to her Seth: no, but even if I did man an she forgave me its like then what, you know (Ryan frowns, nods) just I don't know it's complicated Ryan: Seth um (sits forward) I gotta ask...did you really get inta Brown Seth: (raises eyebrows) did I get in, Ryan now who's smoking pot, listen'a me (Ryan looks at him) the only class that I've ever gotten less than an A in (Ryan raises his eyebrows) was gym, my essay on the loneliness of being Superman made Mrs. Rushfield cry so you know of course (looks down, shakes head) oooh god how did I not get in (Ryan looks at Seth worriedly, Seth keeps looking away) Ryan: why're you lying about it Seth: (sighs) for Summer Ryan: well don't you think she's gonna notice when your not there first semester Seth: well she said if I didn't get in an she did she wouldn't go to Brown (holds hand out) I'm not gonna let her do that, it's the opportunity of a lifetime Ryan: well I think that's up to her (Seth looks at him) sorry man I think you gotta tell her the truth (Ryan leaves and then we see a close up of Seth's lost face) [SCENE_BREAK] CUT TO: The diner - Sadie is sitting in a booth by herself and Ryan comes in Ryan: hey, sorry I'm late (sits opposite) Sadie: no it's fine, I just got here myself Ryan: (while reading menu) so uhhh Harbors havin this party tonight everyone (looks at Sadie) wears there college sweatshirt (smiles) d'you wanna go Sadie: sure, yeah that'll be fun Ryan: (looks at Sadie) yeah Sadie: (nods) yeah Ryan: an I'm sorry about last night uh, that was not the way it should've happened Sadie: or maybe it was Ryan: what'do you mean Sadie: come on Ryan heat of the moment we decide to go to Berkeley together (Ryan looks at her) maybe we need to think about it Ryan: are you sayin you don't want to anymore Sadie: we should just make sure that we're doing this for the right reasons Ryan: we are (motions with hands) because we wanna stay together (looks at Sadie) (Sadie looks down) right (smiles) Sadie: I guess I just feel like alotta people go to college to find themselves an maybe your one'a those people, you know I wouldn't wanna get in the way'a that Ryan: (looks away then leans closer) I feel more myself with you...than anyone Sadie: ...(raises eyebrows) those are some pretty big words mister (smiles) Ryan: well I am going to Berkeley (Ryan reaches his hand out to Sadie and looks into her eyes, we see a close up of their hands as Sadie puts her on top of his) CUT TO: Korean food place - Taylor and Summer are standing with Seung Ho, there is alot of Korean so I'm not even going to attempt to spell or guess at what they are saying. Seung Ho says something and Taylor replies to him, I can make out the words sweatshirt party in amongst the Korean. Seung Ho says more Korean and I can make out the word Taylor after which is more Korean Taylor: (smiles shyly) Seung Ho you dog (laughs) (Summer frowns and looks from Taylor to Seung Ho) oh let me give you my credit card (Seung Ho smiles and goes into the back. Taylor giggles and notices Summer looking distracted) Taylor: Summer Summer: (looks) hm Taylor: come on, cheer up (rubs Summer shoulder) its gonna be fine, you an Seth will work it out Summer: I know I just don't get it, we had a dream an the dream comes true an then suddenly he's like (frowns) god what a crappy dream (looks at Taylor) I mean who does that Taylor: Summer getting a man is like capturing a wily silver back gorilla (raises eyebrows) in the Ugandan highlands (Summer looks at her then away, frowns then raises her eyebrows) you see nature is telling that gorilla to stay in the wild (looks at Taylor) (points) but both you an I know that that gorilla would be much happier back in the zoo (nods) on a normal feeding schedule (Summer raises her eyebrows) but sometimes he's just gotta roar an beat his chest before he'll let you shoot him with a tranq dart Summer: so what your saying is he's trying to (frowns) exert his gorilla independence(unsure) Taylor: yes (points) that is exactly what I'm saying Summer, now come help me set up the bonfire (to Seung Ho) uh Seung Ho (Taylor speaks more Korean to him, I think I hear party in there. Seung Ho smiles and waves, Taylor waves back as she leaves) Summer: yeah what she said Taylor: oh bye guys (the guys in the back call out to Taylor in Korean) CUT TO: The pool house - Ryan is in there getting ready for the bonfire and Sandy comes in carrying 2 sweatshirts, he's smiling almost deliriously Sandy: hey (knocks) Ryan: hey Sandy: (walks in) got a sec Ryan: uh yeah, I was just about ta head over to the bonfire (stands) Sandy: I found this in the closet (holds up navy blue sweatshirt) it's a little worn but Ryan: (smiles, takes the sweatshirt) wow, wow that's great thanks Sandy: an Kirsten was wondering if maybe Sadie could use this (holds up yellow sweatshirt) Ryan: (nods, softly) yeah Sandy: (puts sweatshirt down, sighs) sorry about last night (Ryan listens) you know we both think she's a great girl Ryan: she is, she is and uh (screws up face) yeah an I know it seems kinda fast (looks down) but uh (looks at Sandy) I really care about her (sits) Sandy: I'm sure you do (sits) you know its funny just before you sprung your news I was about to tell ya that id spoken to my friend Paul Glass (raises eyebrows) up at Berkeley an he told me that he could probably get you into my old dorm, of course if your living with Sadie you know your gonna have'ta find some off campus housing (Ryan is looking a little overwhelmed) an she's not gonna be part of the meal plan so between food an rent (Ryan looks at him) I think your both gonna have'ta have jobs, y'know Kirsten an I were gonna cover your costs...but now with Sadie in the mix Ryan: (frowns) no no I would never ask that uh (Sandy looks at him) I guess we just haven't had time ta really figure everything out Sandy: no course not, course not (shrugs) how could you (Ryan looks at him then down) it all happened so fast (Ryan looks down again, it seems like the reality of the situation is starting to hit him) Sandy: did I ever tell you how I almost didn't make it to Berkeley (Ryan listens) I was drivin across the country that first summer, I spent the night in this little town a thousand miles from home (shakes head) (Ryan looks at him) an I was terrified (stands) Ryan: (closes eyes) Sandy I'm not doin this with Sadie because I'm scared Sandy: ok (nods) (Sandy leaves and Ryan looks down at Kirsten's old sweatshirt sitting on the bed next to him, he puts his hand on it and then looks away) CUT TO: Volchok's loft - we see Volchok zip up his luggage and then hear Marissa's voice, she's on the phone Marissa: hey Volchok: where are you, I'm ready ta go (we see Marissa sitting in her new room at the Roberts' house) Marissa: I can't go to Baja tonight Volchok: (sits, closes his eyes) alright Marissa: but call me when you get back Volchok: yeah sure whatever (Volchok hangs up and puts the phone down, disappointed. Marissa hangs up and has a "typical" expression, then looks down. Volchok taps his fist on his mouth) CUT TO: Johnny's house - Ryan comes in wearing Sandy's old Berkeley sweatshirt, he sighs and closes the door behind him then slowly walks in Ryan: (calls) Sadie (Sadie comes out) Sadie: Ryan I'm so glad your here I have something huge to tell you Ryan: yeah, so do I (looks down) Sadie: oh ok you wanna go first Ryan: (raises eyebrows) nononono no that's fine, go ahead Sadie: ok so I called the guy who sells my jewelry in the Bay area (Ryan listens) an it turns out he runs an artist co-op in Berkeley (Ryan is clueless as to what that means) so I could live there (Ryan raises his eyebrows) or we could live there (smiles) together, isn't that awesome Ryan: yeah yeah that's amazing Sadie: see I told you I was psychic Ryan: hm Sadie: ok what was your news (Ryan looks down then at Sadie, Sadie looks at him waiting) Ryan: iiii talked to Sandy um (looks at Sadie) he an Kirsten are fine about us Sadie: that's awesome (smiles) Ryan: (nods) mm-hmm (Sadie leans forward and kisses Ryan) Sadie: ok, we're gonna leave? for your party right Ryan: yeah (raises eyebrows) Sadie: hey d'you think it's gonna be weird that I'm not wearing a sweatshirt Ryan: ...no no, y-y you'll be fine Sadie: ok, I'm gonna go grab my purse Ryan: alright (Ryan looks worried. make of it what you will that Ryan didn't offer Sadie Kirsten's sweatshirt when he could of, personally I think it speaks volumes!) CUT TO: Roberts' house - Seth is standing outside of Summers room, he closes his eyes and then after a few seconds knocks, when there's no response he opens the door Seth: Summer (Seth looks around and then goes inside, he notices a huge collage of the two of them on top of her dresser. it has a whole heap of photos of the two of them together as well as the words college life and the Brown insignia, its really awesome. the camera zooms in on a few different sections of it, the last one is a photo of them together in their winter hats. Seth looks at it sadly, aww) CUT TO: Marissa's bedroom - Marissa is sitting on the bed looking lost, we hear a door open and Marissa suddenly snaps out of her daze. through Marissa's open door we see Summer come in and sit on the edge of her bed, she sighs and takes her shoes off. Marissa leans over to look at Summer and Summer notices her Summer: hey Marissa: hey, where have you ben Summer: oh I had to help Taylor set up for the bonfire, that girl can handle a chainsaw (looks down then at Marissa) hey Seth hasn't called has he Marissa: no I don't think so (Summer nods sadly) Marissa: is everything ok with you guys (Marissa gets off her bed and heads towards Summers room) Summer: don't worry about it Marissa: look Summer, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting (Summer looks at her) just give me a chance (Summer looks at Marissa and then closes her eyes and looks down. Marissa looks at her) Summer: ...remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain Marissa: Lord Of The Rings Summer: yeah, an you remember that Gollum guy (squints) how he got evil an more evil (raises eyebrows) (Marissa listens) the closer he got to that firery thing, that's kinda how Seth is about Brown (nods) Marissa: oooh, (reassuringly) hey you guys'll work it out you love each other (Summer turns so that she's sitting more on the bed and facing Marissa, Marissa sits across from her, awww) Summer: thanks (Summer looks down, Marissa settles across from her on the bed and we see them both side on) Summer: so no offence but what has been going on with you Marissa: (closes eyes, looks down) I don't know, I keep trying to get back to the life I remember but I jus, I cant (shrugs) never seems to work Summer: (closes eyes) an you couldn't talk to me about this (Marissa looks down) I've been your best friend since the first grade Marissa: I know (closes her eyes then looks at Summer) I'm sorry Summer: (half smiles, touches Marissa's knee) I forgive you (Marissa smiles, Summer smiles and Marissa touches Summers knee) Summer: but, you have'ta come with me to the sweatshirt party as penance (smiles happily) Marissa: oh, I would (nods) but (shakes head) I don't have a sweatshirt Summer: ooh yeah, what're we gonna do about that (frowns) (Marissa watches as Summer gets off the bed and goes over to a drawer, she opens it and pulls out a gorgeous pink Berkeley sweatshirt with a pink bow thing wrapped around it, aww. Summer holds it up. it's a very girly pink and it has Berkeley in navy blue letters with white edging. Summer sits back down on the bed with it and Marissa looks suprised) Summer: I bought this a few months ago, looks like somebody believed in you (Summer hands Marissa the sweatshirt and Marissa has a huge smile, she makes an aww sound, clearly touched - in the backyard Julie is sitting at the bar with a drink and looking very out of it, Neil goes over) Neil: hey (Julie looks then looks away) (sits) you ok Julie: (holds up hand) please I just- I can't do this right now Neil: do what Julie: (upset) sit here an be tested as wife mother material while I'm worried about my daughters future, I get it ok its not what you expected I failed, fine, but right now I need'a think about Marissa Neil: Julie I'm sorry if I (looks at Julie) if I made you feel like you were being tested I (Julie looks at him) I was wrong (raises eyebrows, shakes head) an you've hardly failed I think Marissa's very lucky to have you for a mom (Julie looks at Neil. Summer and Marissa come out wearing their sweatshirts for the bonfire) Summer: hey (Julie and Neil look) guys we're going to the party (waves) Marissa: (waves) bye mom, bye Dr. Roberts (Julie watches a much happier Marissa leave with Summer, she looks relieved) Neil: what did I tell you (Julie looks at Neil) CUT TO: The sweatshirt party - we see some coloured light lantern things on string and there are some torches stuck in the sand. there are kids everywhere and of course the bonfire, we see flashes of a few different college sweatshirts, it goes CONNECTICUT COLLEGE, TEXAS A&M, USC and BOSTON COLLEGE. then we see Seung Ho and Taylor standing together, Taylor has SORB ONNE on hers and Seung Ho has STANFORD on his. we then see Ryan and Sadie walk up to Summer and Marissa Ryan: hey Marissa: hey Summer: hey guys Ryan: (to Marissa, nods) congratulations Marissa: yeah you too, hi Sadie Sadie: hey (smiles) Summer: um has anyone seen Cohen (frowns) Ryan: uhh (Seth walks up, he's wearing a jacket and not a Brown sweatshirt, for reasons known to no one but Ryan) Seth: did someone say my name Summer: hey (Seth looks at her) (frowns) your not wearing your sweatshirt Seth: uhhh (Taylor comes over) Taylor: (excitedly) you guys are all here, the core four (smiles, touches Ryans back) I need a picture (Ryan looks at Seth) go, go Summer: do you wanna (points) Taylor: (to Sadie) sorry, do you mind Sadie: no, no it's fine (Marissa puts her arm around Summers shoulder. the order goes Summer, Marissa, Seth and Ryan. I think what Summer was getting at before was if Seth wanted to be next to her for the photo, and he obviously didn't, aww) Taylor: everybody say higher earning potential Seth: ah-huh (we see the flash of the camera and then we see the photo still on the screen. its such a nice photo! interestingly they all have their hands in their pockets, even more interestingly Seth and Summer have theirs in their jacket pockets while both Marissa and Ryan have theirs in their pants pockets) Taylor: (giggles) it's so cute Seth: alright (Sadie looks around uncomfortably) Seth: (to Summer) can I talk to you for a minute Summer: yeah (Summer looks at Marissa as she walks away, Marissa looks at her) Sadie: (to Ryan) I'm actually kinda hungry d'you want anything Ryan: no no I'm Taylor: (grabs Sadie's arm) I will show you where the food is (Sadie looks at Ryan helplessly as Taylor drags her away) Taylor: hi I'm Taylor (Sadie looks back) I use'ta be like total enemies with those guys (proudly) but I'm pretty much second circle core now (Ryan and Marissa are standing together, Marissa looks at Ryan, Ryan looks at her) Ryan: I like your sweatshirt Marissa: thanks yours isn't so bad either (Ryan looks at Marissa then looks down, Marissa does the same and then she looks off to the side) Ryan: ...you uh you doin ok (Marissa looks at Ryan, a little suprised. Ryan looks at her) Marissa: (scoffs, pulls on her sweatshirt) well besides this thing choking me (Ryan looks at her) no you know honestly I'm beginning to think all of this is a bad idea (looks at Ryan) Ryan: what's that Marissa: the sweatshirt (shrugs) party Ryan: (nods) you know even though we're not together I'm (Marissa looks at him) I'm here if you ever wanna talk Marissa: thanks (Ryan looks at her, she looks at him) it means alot (Ryan nods and then walks away. Marissa looks cold. we see some more of the other kids, there are 2 guys wearing YALE sweatshirts standing together. Marissa looks around and shrugs, she's by herself still. then we see Taylor, Sadie and Seung Ho standing together) Taylor: so this is my friend Seung Ho (Seung Ho smiles) an this is Sadie uh (Taylor speaks Korean to Seung Ho, I can make out the word Ryan, I assume she's saying Sadie is Ryan's girlfriend. Seung Ho nods and Sadie looks over at Ryan who is talking with 2 guys. Sadie looks as though she's starting to realise what it's going to be like at Berkeley) CUT TO: NB Yacht club - Henry is sitting at the bar by himself and Sandy walks over Sandy: coulda told me your answer on the phone Henry: (looks) well I wanted us to talk Sandy: so your not pulling out, fine, my friends at the DA's office are gonna find whoever attacked Matt an I can promise you there not gonna keep it quiet Henry: look I had nothing to do with what happened to Matt, unfortunately I can't offer you anything but my word Sandy: (shakes head) which doesn't carry alotta weight with me Henry: how bout seven hundred million dollars Sandy: excuse me Henry: with the hospital going up, the cities interested in revitalising the entire area (Sandy listens) parks, affordable housing, restaurants, head of the appropriations committee is a friend of mine, he's asked about your firm Sandy: wow (moves closer) so now your tryin'a bribe me Henry: the face'a this cities changing Sandy, you can be apart of that (Sandy looks as though he's thinking) CUT TO: Cohen house - we hear a doorbell and see Matt standing at the front door, Kirsten opens it Kirsten: (shocked) oh my god, what- come inside Matt: no it's alright, Sandy here Kirsten: no no he's out, w- what happened to you Matt: some guys broke inta my apartment, listen tell him I stopped by with a proposal Kirsten: no no Matt wait wait wait (Matt stops) did you call the police (Matt looks at her) they have'ta find out who did this Matt: I know who did it (starts to leave) Kirsten: what're you talking about Matt: (looks at Kirsten) look, I really like Sandy but you just gotta, you gotta get him to quit this (Kirsten looks at him shocked) cause pretty soon it's gonna be too late (Matt leaves and Kirsten looks stunned) CUT TO: The sweatshirt party - Seth is sitting on a chair looking down at the sand and Summer is crouched down next to him Summer: so are you gonna talk or what Seth: yeah...it's just (Summer looks at him) not easy Summer: ...then ill go (Seth looks at her) look I get that your a guy ok an I know you have that whole simian brain thing but (frowns) if we're gonna go to college together next year you cant (Seth looks down) keep freaking out on me all the time Seth: yeah (looks up but not at Summer) Summer that's just it Summer: what is Seth: ...I'm not sure that I wanna (looks at Summer) go to Brown next year Summer: (looks at Seth) what Seth: I've just been thinkin alot about it an I'm not-I'm not exactly sure that Brown is the right choice for me (looks at Summer) for you (raises eyebrows) I still I think it's great Summer: (confused) but we applied to Brown so that we could be together Seth: yeah I know (looks down) I just I guess I changed my mind Summer: so what we just suddenly apply somewhere else Seth: no I think you should still go to Brown (looks at Summer) (Summer looks at him) you should (shrugs) ill just go somewhere else Summer: ...do you really mean this (Seth looks down, Summer looks at him) Seth: ...I'm sorry (shrugs, looks at Summer) I think it's for the best (Summer looks away, hurt. Seth looks at her sadly) Summer: ...(nods) ok, well I guess um if this is how you feel (raises eyebrows) fine (Seth looks at her) (matter of factly) we're over (Summer quickly walks away upset, Seth puts his head down. we now see Sadie sitting on the bottom of the ramp of the lifeguard tower, Ryan walks over) Ryan: hey, been lookin for ya Sadie: yeah Taylor went off with that food guy, I'm pretty sure they were talkin dirty to each other in Korean Ryan: you wanna leave, I know it's kinda hard on you, not knowin anyone Sadie: (sighs) you're a nice guy Ryan...but I'm not coming to Berkeley with you (Ryan sits down next to Sadie and looks at her, then away) Sadie: don't you see this is what it'll be like next year (sighs, looks at Ryan) you'll have this other world an ill constantly be pulling you away from it, you wont get (Ryan looks at her) to experience college the way you should, I'm not gonna do that to you Ryan: come on (looks at Sadie) Sadie: you know I'm right (Ryan looks at her, Sadie looks down, Ryan looks away) Sadie: ...I'm gonna go home (stands) (Ryan stands) I have'ta start packing in the morning Ryan: ill drive you Sadie: I wanna walk (Ryan looks at her) an id rather say goodbye here (Ryan looks at Sadie helplessly, Sadie leans forward and kisses Ryan) Sadie: keep in touch Ryan (smiles) I'm gonna miss you (Ryan and Sadie look at each other and then Sadie walks away. Ryan watches the back of her as she walks down the beach, gradually getting further away) CUT TO: Cohen house - Sandy comes in the front door and Kirsten is waiting for him in the living room with the light off Kirsten: Sandy (Sandy looks over at Kirsten, Kirsten closes her eyes) Sandy: what're you doin sittin in the dark Kirsten: Matt came by Sandy: well what'did he say because you know- Kirsten: just promise me that your gonna quit this thing Sandy: oh honey (shakes head) it's complicated Kirsten: no its not Sandy: well it's about more than just the hospital Kirsten: (goes over to Sandy) do you forget that I worked at that company for fifteen years an I saw what happened to my father Sandy: (shakes head) I'm not gonna become your father, but I can't just quit (Kirsten looks at Sandy helplessly, Sandy looks at her. Kirsten walks passed Sandy and over to the door, Sandy watches as she grabs the car keys and leaves) CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer pulls down her collage of her and Seth and looks at it through tears, she rips it in half and then tears it into smaller pieces. she drops the pieces to the floor as she becomes more upset, aww. we see the pieces lying on the floor and then we see Summer put her hands on the back of her neck and look down sadly, we then see Marissa putting her Berkeley sweater away in her room. she puts it in her top drawer and closes it. she turns around and leans against the drawer and then looks over at Summer's half open door, she heads into Summers room and sees that Summer is curled up on her bed in tears. Summer looks over at Marissa and then away again. Marissa lies down next to Summer and after a few seconds she puts her hand on Summers shoulder. Summer becomes more upset, aww CUT TO: Cohen's backyard - we see Seth walking up to the pool house, he walks in and we see Ryan sitting on the edge of his bed looking upset, he has bare feet. Ryan looks over at Seth. Seth stands there next to the bed and then he sits down on the floor, they both lay down at the same time. Ryan onto the bed and Seth onto the floor next to the bed. Ryan spreads his arms out a little and Seth spreads his legs and arms. they both look lost, poor guys - Fade out

Ryan and Sadie plan their future after high school, but their decision concerns Sandy and Kirsten. Marissa and Summer begin to rebuild their friendship. Meanwhile, the drama surrounding Sandy's job intensifies and seeps into the Cohen household.

fd_Queer_As_Folk_02x13

fd_Queer_As_Folk_02x13_0

[Woody's. Brian's playing pool. Justin rubs his dick over the corner pocket.] Brian: Would you move your dick? I can't concentrate. [Justin turns around and rubs his ass over the corner pocket instead.] Emmett: You shouldn't have any trouble sinking into that hole. [Brian makes the shot and Justin moans with glee.] Ben: [to Michael] What given you me to concentrate at? [Ted is handing out flyers for a charity event, but nobody cares.] Ted: Come to the angel ball. f*ck you, too! Emmett: That wasn't very angelic. Ted: Who even take a goddamn flyer? Brian: Four hundred bucks for another boring fundraiser. Michael: Angels Over Pittsburgh isn't just another charity; when Vic was sick they brought a meal practically every day. My mom and I couldn't done without that. Ted: Unfortunately that's not what these guys doin'. Brian: They need a big attraction. Justin: Like Madonna. Or the Backstreet Boys. Ted: Yeah, it's just Pittsburgh, sunshine. Not your wildest dreams. Emmett: Hot about Pittsburgh's own Divina Devore? She's in town. Brian: Oh yeah, that's good. Another worn-out old drag queen. Emmett: What kind of homosexual are you? Brian: The kind that f*cks men. Emmett: Divina Devore it's a legend. She's performed before presidents. Brian: Ulysses S. Grant or Chester A. Arthur? Michael: Go got her. But you won't have trouble with your tickets. Ben: It's worth a shot. [Michael squats in front of the corner pocket. Ben shoots and the ball rolls towards Michael's mouth. Ben misses. Michael pouts. The boys laugh.] Michael: Oh. [The kindergarten! We're at a center for early education/day care/fancy-pants place.] women: Here in center for early development we offered an unique education parently. Which creates a save and supportive enviroment which are our degree candidates can inquire an invaluable learning and social skills. Mel: Degree candidates? There are pre-schoolers. woman: Therefore as much we would like to accept all applicants in order to ensure maximum focus and individual attention we can only admit a select few. [Lindsay raises her hand] Lindsay: May I ask what determines the final decision? woman: The child's own unique talents and abilities will play a big part, but we're also trying to create the full spectrum of human diversity. Race, religion, socio-economic background. Mel: What about sexual orientation? woman: Oh yes, that too. Lindsay: Are any same-sex-parented children currently enrolled? woman: Not yet, but we're entend to make every afford to change that. [The diner wall changes artwork. Now it's all Justin's.] Debbie: [to a customer] The master piece that's what it is. For 50 bucks you'll buy the next Michael Angelo. [The guy just rudely walks off] Debbie: Ignorier miss.His does not know dick about art. Justin: It doesn't matter. You do. Jen: Justin, you didn't tell me you has your own show. Justin: It's not exactly the Museum of Modern Art. Debbie: That's next! [Justin and Jennifer hug.] Justin: You want something to eat? Jen: Uh, thanks honey. I just had lunch. I'm with your father. Justin: I don't talk about him. Jen: Well, I just wanna talk either, but we'll do. He says he's not gonna pay for your school anymore. Justin: Wha... That lame-ass sh1t. What's his feeble excuse? Jen: The stock market and supporting two households. And he's a lame-ass sh1t. I don't want you to worry. I spoke to the accountant, I got a little of my savings, I can cash my IAR... Justin: I don't takin' your money. You and Molly had to live. Jen: You're sister and I'll be just... fine. Justin: No, forget it. I'll take care of myself. [Woody's. Divina Devore performing live at stage. Emmett, Ted, and Michael prance backstage right behind the stage manager. (S)he finished.] Emmett: If you ask me, nobody makes a better woman than a gay man. Michael: What woman looks like that? Big, red wig, tons of jewelry, gaudy clothes? [Emmett, Ted, and the stage manager all turn slowly to the screen.] Michael: My mother doesn't look like that! [Divina leans back on the curtain as the audience politely applauds.] Divina: Thank you, Pittsburgh! For reminding me why I left! Ted: I hope she's not be one of those maniac divas who thinks she's the center of the universe -- you know, snapping her fingers bossing people around. [Divina comes backstage.] Divina: [to the stage manager] Hey, you. Tell the idiot, the one whos the lights the spot is suppose to be at my face. Not the left tit! Stage manager: Yes, ma'am. I mean, sir. Ted: Excuse me, Miss Devore. Divina: Yes? Ted: I just want to say... your performance tonight was... sparkling. Emmett: Bubbling. Ted: Effervescent. Divina: Stop, you'll make me burp. Michael: Miss Devore? Hi, I want to tell you your performance was really great. Divina: I'm flattering for receive so much praise from so a handsome young men. Now, if you excuse me. Ted: Wait. Uh, we wanted to ask you... Divina: ...for my autograph. Ted: And for your help. See, I'm organising a charity event... Emmett: It's for a very good cause. Divina: Is it ever a bad one? Ted: It's for Angels Over Pittsburgh. Michael: They prepare home cook meals for homeless people who have AIDS. Ted: And I was hoping you were might... Divina: Perform? Oh, I'd love to! Emmett and Ted: You would? Divina: If I didn't already spend half my life doing benefits. If I do any more, they'll have to throw one for me. [Brian and Justin sit in a jeep.] Justin: I told you, I can pay for this. Brian: With your secrets money? Justin: I'll get another job, a real job where I actually pay for it. Brian: They pay for a hundred a week? Justin: I still apply for a scholarship all alone. Brian: What are you use for collection? Your ass? Stop being such a twat. I just trying to help you. Justin: You've helped enough. You did practically my entire life. Brian: What do you mean 'practically' ? Justin: Look, I don't want you feel like you have always take care of me. And I don't want me to. Brian: Fine, then go ahead. Don't come claim to me when it's didn't work. Justin: I love that you do anything for me. Brian: Who said it was for you? I made an investment, I want to pay off. [Justin pulls off his seatbelt and gives Brian a blowjob at a red light. The man in the car next to Brian watches. Brian watches him back. Brian revs his engine.] [Angels Over Pittsburgh sign on the refrigerator.] Ted: Who the f*ck wants to see some worn-out old drag queen, anyway? Emmett: Honey, you find someone else. Michael: It's like Ben always says "You have to be a positive energy for." Ted: What did Ben do in this new google-dee gook? [Michael trows eat to Ted.] Ted: You know, I woldn't been Divina Devore in the Benefit even if I could her. Vic: Dvina Devore? Is she in town? Michael: Yeah, we beg her to perform at the benefit but she turn us down. Vic: She always was a selfish prick. Emmett: You know her? Vic: Honey, I knew her when she was a him. He was Danny Devore then. We went to highschool together. Emmett: NO! Ted: You know, maybe if you use the personal connection we can convince her mind. Michael: Me? Ted: You're our only hope. Emmett: I thought you didn't even want her. Ted: Well, that was before I know that she is a friend of the family. Vic: I'm sure she wouldn't remember me. [Lindsay's in pigtails, shouting to Mel from the porch.] Lindsay: Mel! Mel! Mel: What's the matter? Lindsay: Look, a letter. Mel: Haven't you've seen this before? Lindsay: It's from Gus new school. Mel: Hey, today the universe could be more to Harvert. Lindsay: Who said anything about Harvert? Mel: I thoughed everyone want a kid go to Harvert. Lindsay: I feel we should considered at least Brown. Mel: We'll continue this in 16 years. Just read the letter. What does she says? Lindsay: He didn't get in. Mel: What?! [she reads the letter] It's bullshit. They always made such a big deal about all different kinds of people. Lindsay: Apparently not our kind of people. Mel: What was all this crap about looking for a kid from same s*x parents? Lindsay: She didn't mean us. Mel: It's discrimination. That's what it is. Lindsay: Against our son. For something that has nothing to do with him. [Fotoshooting with Divina Devore! The photographer's talking in a voice-over.] Michael: I know your busy, Mrs.Devore. Divina: Then why are you here? Michael: Well, I was hoping you were change your mind. Divina: I don't change my mind! Only my underwear. Now, if you kindly show yourself out! Michael: Guess my uncle was right. Divina: Excuse me? Michael: Nothing. Just something he said. He knew you back in Highschool. Divina: Oh really and who was that? Michael: You wouldn't remember. Vic Grassi? [Camera zooms in her face.] Divina: Vic Grassi. Oh, my god, I remember Vic. I hear that he was sick. Michael: Yeah, he's doin' a lot better now. Now he's on a cocktail. Divina: I'm glad to hear it. Tell him I say hello. So, if Vic is your uncle then Debbie must be your mother. Michael: Knew her? Divina: Knew her? I dated her! Michael: You? I mean...? Divina: Oh, back then I was a male impersonator. I did a really convincing act, too. How's she doin'? Michael: Practically undestructable. Divina: Did she became a nurse like she always wanted? Michael: I never knew that. Just a waitress. Divina: Jesus, I can still hear that laugh of her. She bring down a house. I wish she was in front of me last night. Oh, not complaint, I tell you kid, your momma was a real looker. Michael: Still is. Just, now there's more to look at. Divina: This benefit of yours, when is it? Michael: Friday night. Divina: I tell you what. I'll be there after my show. Michael: That's so cool. You're doin' a really good deed. Thank you. Divina: Don't thank me, pay me. Michael: So how long's been you saw my mom? Divina: Not since the summer of my graduation. I... I left town after that. Michael: I bet you have some interesting stories about the two of you. Divina: Gentlemen don't reveal such themes. Especially gentlemens who are ladies. [Liberty Diner. Michael put on a sign of the poster with Divina Devore.] Ted: Where is he? Michael! [Ted kisses Michael] I cannot believe you got her change her mind. Brian: I can't believe Deb dated a drag queen. How anyone could tell them apart. Emmett: At least now we know who taught her how to do her hair. Brian: You realize it's makes your mother officially fag hag of all time. Then Vic, then you. Hey Debbie. Debbie: Hey guys. Hi baby. Brian: I hear your boyfriend is in town. Debbie: Michael, about who's he talking about it? Michael: It's someone you used to go... Debbie: Yeah? Who? Michael: Danny Devore. [Debbie is shocked, angry, and grumpy.] Debbie: Danny Devore. Emmett: Better known as Divina Devore. Ted: Michael got her agreement to perform on the Angel Ball. Emmett: Yeah, thanks to you. Debbie: What have I to do with it? Brian: She said she couldn't possible turn down the son of a former flame. Debbie: You shout your mouth! He had no right talk to my kid about my personal life. Michael: We didn't say anything. He only said you two used to go out. Debbie: Yeah, it was like a million years ago. I should be over him. [Debbie walks away.] [Babylon. Naked dancing boys. Sweet, toned flesh. Good flesh. Good music. Justin sticks a dollar in the g-string of a dancing boy. Brian snaps a dollar out of a different stripper's g-string.] Brian: Shouldn't you been holding on on that? Justin: It doesn't much matter since it's my last one. Brian: Sort of like infections in the 19th century french noble been revive. Justin: f*ck off. Brian: Find a job. Justin: I must have tried twenty restaurants and nobody hired. Brian: What does the financial aid office said? Justin: My f*cking father makes to much money. Brian: Well, my offer still stands. Justin: So does my answer. Better do that on my own. Stripper: Give me a hand? Brian: See? Some people know how to accept help. [Justin roll his eyes. He watches the stripper pull money out of his crotch.] Justin: Looks like a good night. Stripper: It's nothing compared with the weekend. Justin: Really? Cause I've been looking for something. Are they looking for more dancers? Stripper: Gary's always looking. [Brian and Justin are quiet, thinking. Brian walks away.] [Debbies house. In Michaels old room. Ben and Michael arm are there. Very geeky picture of Michael and Brian in high school with their arms around each other.] Michael: See what a dork I was? Ben: You weren't a dork. I was a dork. Michael: A fat ones. Ben: You have no idea how fat. You are more dweeb. Michael: Thanks. Ben: Brian on the other hand... Michael: I know, he was a total turn on. Ben: I would say spaz. Michael: Is it better or worse than a dweeb? Ben: Oh, fare worse. Have I mention that I have a thing for dweebs? Michael: Later. Goin check my moms old stuff. Ben: Wait, that's kinda personal. Michael: Well, she never really told me about that much. Everytime I ask about back then she said 'I did my homework and rest at my folk.' And you should do the dame. [Ben pulls out a pompon.] Ben: I didn't know she was a cheerleader. Michael: Well, maybe those were Vic's. Oh, her yearbook. Check out the girls hairdos! Really boring. Ben: Really straight. Where is your mom? Michael: Grassi, grassi, grassi. There she is. [Deborah Jane Grassi AMB: Celebrate New Year's in every time zone! P.D.: Celebrate every New Year's right here in the Pitt. P.P.: Dishonest People. P.S.: "S***, all my sayings have swears in them." ACT: Yearbook, S.C. rep., Spirit Club, Parties, Parties, Parties] Michael: Just as I said, mom was a real looker. Ben: What about he look like? Michael: Comes after a space. Ben: Oh, scare me. Michael: Danny Devore AMB: Broadway Superstar P.D.: NYC Cab Driver P.P.: Stage Fright P.S.: "Begone!" ACT: Variety Show, Choir, Concert Band, Prom Committee, Spirit Club Ben: Oh, he's kinda cute. Michael: If you have a thing for dweebs. [Strip club. Gary the creepy strip-club owner is doing "paperwork". Justin coughs some attention and.] Justin: They said I can talk to you about the job. Gary: Doin' what? Justin: Dancing. Gary: Ever dance professionally? Justin: No, but I dance here all the time. Gary: Like a thousand other queers. What makes you special? Justin: I was King of Babylon. Gary: Who wasn't? Sorry, I'm too busy. No one position's are open. Justin: I'm sure if you saw me... Gary: Hey, I'll busy. [SCENE_BREAK] [Cut to naked Justin feet walking back along the bar. He stops over Gary.] Justin: One dance, that's all. If I suck, you can kick my ass out. Gary: You doesn't have much of a body. No packs, no abs, no biceps. Justin: I have a great ass and I'm blond. You have no idea how far that gets me. Gary: One dance. Make it good. [He does] [Cut to Justin dancing over Brian's head. Same outfit. Brian's apartment. Brian stops the music and.] Brian: Try not to step into my Chinese food. Justin: He said I'd be pulling $200 to $300 a night. Brian: That'd better be all your pulling young men. And remember you still have your schoolwork to do. Justin: And what if I don't? Brian: Mmmh, you'd have to be spank. Justin: [laughs] Yeah, just try. Brian: You like it? Justin: Uh, I just kidding. [Brian pulls Justin over his knees, pulls down his underwear, and spanks him. Justin's enjoying it until Mel and Lindz just walk right into the apartment.] Mel: Oh. Brian: Oh, Note to self - make sure to lock the f*cking door. Lindsay: [to Mel] I don't care. I'm gonna asking anybody. Brian: [to Linds] Wanna chicken? Mel: [to Linds] Don't waste you time. Everytime we ask him to do something he turns us down. Brian: Ask me what? Lindsay: I want you to be my husband. Brian: You already have one. Mel: It's for Gus. He got rejected by the Center for Early Development. Lindsay: And we think it's because he had two mommies. Brian: So now you wanna pass him to a product of a happy hetero homelife? f*ck that sh1t. Mel: I told you, he is a total heterophobe. Justin: That's true he is. Brian: It's true. I am. Lindsay: Brian, you know I would you never ask to compromise your values. Mel: Except that they are. Lindsay: You're always said it's not lying if they make you lying. You wants Gus to have the same advantages as kids you have a mommie and a daddie, don't you? You want him to go to the best schools and receive the best education? Then you got us help to make sure. They despite what other people may think of us - he's not the one who suffers. So we have to found another school. We have an appointment tomorrow. [Michael's grilling Vic as Vic pretends to read a magazine.] Michael: How long they go out? Vic: I... I can't remember. Michael: Was it serious? Vic: How do I know? Michael: Did she love him? Vic: She didn't say! Michael: Didn't say... It's nothing that mom doesn't say! Vic: Look, Michael, it was a long time ago. Why don't you ask her? Debbie: [comes home] Ask me what? Michael: About Denny Devore. Debbie: Christ, I haven't heard his name mention for thirty years and now all of a sudden it's all he's here. Michael: I saw his picture in your yearbook. Debbie: Who said you can looking in my yearbook? Michael: You never said I couldn't! It's the picture of him! It looks a lot like me. Debbie: Who you talking about? It doesn't look at the least bit of you. Michael: You don't have your reading glasses on. Debbie: Fine. Make me feel older than I really do. OK, I still don't see it. Vic? Do you see it? Vic: Can't say I do. Michael: C'mon! We have the same eyes, the same nose, the same mouth. Tell me that's not my chin! Debbie: Not even close! And trust me, I know chins. I have serveral of it. Michael: Ma, I just want you to tell me... Debbie: Tell you what? Michael: Why I look so much alike Danny Devore! Vic: I get the clothes in the dryers. Debbie: Stay right there! What are you getting at? Michael: He said that you were out summer after graduation. That was 1969. I was born March 1970. Debbie: Ha! I don't believe what I'm hearing! Are you asking me if some old drag queen that I once knew in high school is your father? You know who your father is! This is your father! [Debbie holds up a picture of John Michael Navotny] Debbie: John Michael Novotny. Lieutenant in the US army. Michael and Debbie: Died in Vietnam, 1970, two weeks after I was born. Michael: I know. You told me a million times. But this guy in the picture who doesn't even look like me is my dad. But that've all you told me! Debbie: What else do you wanna know? Michael: Who are my grand-parents? Debbie: They're dead. Michael: Aunts and uncles? Debbie: They weren't any. Michael: So he's just a war hero? Debbie: 'Just'!? They awarded him the purple heart! He was on a rescue mission, carving his way through the jungle when a landmine exploded. Michael: You've said it was a Jeep accident. Debbie: He was carving his way in a Jeep when it ran over a landmine. Michael: You can't even keep the goddam story straight! Debbie: Stop confusing me...! Vic: Look, it was a long time ago. It doesn't matter now. Michael: I just wanna know the truth. Debbie: Are you calling me a liar? Your own mother? I told you who you father was. And I expect you to believe me. [She wanders out of the room, tottering back and forth.] [Better kids at this school. Lindsay and Brian goes inside.] Lindsay: Promised me to behave. Brian: I don't mention dick if you don't mention pussy. Lindsay: You know what I mean. I don't you getting into your moods. Brian: Yeah, yeah. I want a homo-hetero kid just as you do. Lindsay: That's it. Don't be nervous. Brian: If my heart gettin' low, I'll be dead. [Inside the school.] woman: Hello. Lindsay: Hi, we are the... woman: Oh, the Kinneys. Uh, Mr. and Mrs.Kinney. Lindsay: Right! Brian: Sometimes she'll forgets, don't you, honey? Lindsay: [laughs] I don't forget. He's such a kitter. woman: Oh, please. I tell Mrs.Harper you are here. [she leaves. Brian and Lindsay sits down. Brian plays with toys.] Lindsay: I told you to behave! Brian:You could send me to the principal's office, but I'm already there. Lindsay: It's also strange. I mean I knew I'd have a child like Gus and he goes to a school like this one. And I never imagine it will be like this. Brian: Well, there's no predicting. Oops, I said dick, didn't I? Lindsay: Can't you be serious? For even a minute? [Brian sits down, checks her watch] Brian: You're on. Lindsay: There was even a time, when we first met that I thought this could be reality. Did you ever felt that way? Brian: No. You wanted me to be serious. That doesn't mean I don't love you. [Brian kisses Lindsay just as the principal comes to the door and calls them in.] Mrs.Harper: Mr.and Mrs.Kinney! Brian: [looks at the clook] Oh, the minutes up. Mrs.Harper: Oh, please, don't be emparest. It's always nice to see young parents express their affection. And I think it's important for children to see that to, don't you agree? Come in to my office, please and we'll discuss Gus' future. [Debbie is standing at Divina's hotel door.] Debbie: I never in a million years known it was you. [She stands there. No wig, just scary makeup and tiny dagger nails. Red robe.] Divina: Thirty years is a long time. Debbie: Try thirty-one. But who's counting? Divina: So, come on in. You want a drink? Debbie: No. No, thanks. God, you have more sh1t than I do. Divina: These days it takes longer to look fabulous. Debbie: Tell me about it. Is this real? Divina: Honey, I wish. So, how're you doin', my Divina? Debbie: So you called me in highschool. Divina: Now you have a son. He tells me you work in a diner. Vic was sick and now he's better. Debbie: Thirty years in a natcho. Divina: Thirty-one. Michael is a very nice, young men. Debbie: I'm very proud of him. Divina: And I would be to. He's polite, caring, good looking. In fact he's reminded me a lot of someone I used to know. Only at first I couldn't figure out who it was. Then when I discovered you were his mother I realized. I was looking at myself. In a mirror. Through time. Why? Didn't you? Ever! Tell me? Debbie: You already left town. Run off to the big city to be a big star! Who was I supposed to do? Call you up and say 'Hey, guess what? You're a dad. Come back and marry me.' Divina: So, you decided to have him on your own, raising him on your own. It must have taken a lot of courage. Debbie: It was the easiest decision I ever made. Divina: Who you tell him who his father was? Debbie: A soldier who died in Vietnam. I picked up his name out of the newspaper from the list of dead. I even changed my own name. Divina: You went through a lot of trouble to make sure he never found out. Debbie: I wanted him to have a hero. Divina: And I could never be that. Debbie: It wasn't so much that you were gay, Danny. I always kind of suspected. In fact, that's probably why I liked you. It's that you lied to me. Divina: You won't the only one. I lied to myself as well. I wanted to be something I wasn't. Debbie: Are you sure it's all succeeded? And he sure as hell didn't need to know his dad was a drag queen. And now he's found your goddamn picture in the yearbook. And he's put two and two together. And knowing him he's coming here to talk to you any minute. Divina: Christ, what I am telling him? Debbie: Hell if I know! Divina: I'm sure if you explained he would understand. Debbie: What? That I've lied to him his entire life? And then he never trust me again. And I wouldn't blame him. [The Happy Fun House. Lindsay comes home and fills Mel in on the interview with Brian.] Lindsay: Oh, we were with her two and a half hours. She seemed really impressed. Mel: That's a good sign, isn't it? Lindsay: I hope so. [They sit together in the living room. Mel rubs Lindsay's foot and coos at her] Lindsay: Christ, I hate that heels! Mel: Baby, come here. Lindsay: Oh, that's nice. Mel: And Brian behaved himself? Lindsay: More than behaved. He was charming, attentive. Mel: I hope not to attentive. Lindsay: He complement the school of was whee... Everything was perfect. Mel: Besides I would say the wrong face. Lindsay: Should have been you and me in there. Mel: Uh, whatever it takes. Besides it was you idea. Lindsay: I know. It seen the good one at that time but now,... I don't know. Mel: Hey, don't worry about it. Lindsay: Sometimes the ends actually justify the means. [The phone rings. It's the school.] Mel: Besides the important thing is that Gus has the same chance every other kid. Hello? Who? Oh, yes. Hang on. [she's give the phone to Linds] Mrs.Kinney. Lindsay: Hello? Mrs.Harpher. Yes, thank you. Mel and I... I mean Brian and I follow the same way. We will so pleased. What? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Mel: What? Lindsay: I understand. Well, thank you for calling. [She hangs up.] Mel: What? What she say? Lindsay: He didn't get in. Mel: What? Lindsay: He didn't get in. Mrs.Harpher called her apologize she thought my husband and I were absolutely charming and they would love to have Gus but... Mel: So, what's the problem? Lindsay: They only had one spot open and they gave it to another child ... with same-sex-parents. Mel: Are you sh1tting me?! Lindsay: The board decided that the student population had to be more open... Mel: Well, we're goin' to sue... this is discrimination! Lindsay: [laughs] We can't sue! Heterosexual discrimiation?! Mel: You think this is funny? [SCENE_BREAK] Lindsay: I think it is hilarious. Mel: What we gonna do now? Lindsay: I'm gonna take a bath. And first thing tomorrow we will look for another school. And this time Gus' parents Lindsay and Melanie will go to the new interview. [Babylon! Justin's dancing in an angel's outfit. The angel at the next go-go booth has tons of cash in his shorts. Justin does not. Emmett, Michael, and Brian are pouting at the bar. Brian's trying to ignore his half-naked boyfriend grinding for tips.] Emmett: When I was in school, I had a part-time job walking peoples dogs. I didn't know I could have made money wagging his own tail. Ted: What a turnout. But I have to thank Michael. [He kisses Mikey] Michael: See ya. [He starts to pout off] Ted: Aren't you gonna stay? Brian: They all to sticking around to see the number one fan. Michael: Just leave me alone. How can somebody put on an act all those years...? Brian: It has to do with homocritical lifestyle... Michael: I mean my mother. Brian: You don't know for sure. Michael: That my mom lied to me? And my father is not a boring old Judy Garland. Brian: Would you have preferred Bette Davis? Michael: Maybe I should just forget it. [announcer speaking.] "And now, ladies and gentlemen, ladies who are gentlemen, gentlemen who are ladies and the Angel Ball presents our favorite angel, Pittsburghs own Miss Divina Devore." [Divina sings "Heaven, I'm in heaven" and were uplifted by a hydrolic lifter. Brian smiles and laughs. Divina keeps singing. Michael looks at Brian in slow motion and shoves him off-camera. Everyone cheers as Michael just stands there looking at the ground. He smiles back upwards again. We can still hear Divina singing as we're backstage watching Divina take off her clothes.] Divina: Michael. Michael: May I come in? Divina: Well, I don't undress before a man I barely know but in your case I'm make an expection. How'd go? Did "Angels of Pittsburgh" make buckets of bucks? It's the last benefit I ever do. Michael: Somewhere I doubt it. Divina: Well, you take care of yourself, Michael. It's nice to meet you. Michael: Actually I have another favore. Divina: Oh, for heaven sake haven't we done enough for humantiy? Michael: It's not charity. I hope you can help me when you look at this. It's your old high-school yearbook. And this is you. Divina: I haven't seen that in thirty... make it eighteen years. Michael: Ever seen resemblance? Divina: It's unmistakable I look exactly like Tom Cruise. Michael: I meant to me. Divina: You? [he laughs] I appreciate the flattery but frankly no. I don't see it. Michael: How can you miss it? The way you looked back then and the way I look now. I mean we are identically twins. Divina: I suppose when you squint a slight resemblance but so what? Here, help me with this zipper. I ask for a dresser but there are two goddamn... Michael: Are you my father? Divina: This is a fine time to ask. You help me out of my Gaul? Michael: You seen my mother than. The timing was exactly right... Divina: Not to rupt. First I had to be got out here. Michael: I mean, you and she, you'll never...? Divina: Look at me? Do I look like the kind of guy who goes around to beg babes? You're mother was hardly my type. Michael: But you said she was beautiful and back you used to bat for the other team. Divina: Drag queens are notorious liars. Everyone knows that. So, what does your mother say? Michael: She says my father was this old war hero. Divina: So, why you don't believe that? Michael: Because the story keeps changing and there's only one picture. And the guy doesn't even look like me. Look, I don't make any demands, and I not even asking to stay in touch: I just wanna know the truth. [Divina walks back into the room dressed as a man.] Danny: Michael, may I tell you the one truth I learn it all my years? The truth is what you choose to believe. When I'm onstage, people believe I'm Divina Devore not because I'm a great female impersonator, but because they want to. Michael: What is this have to do whether you my father or my mother lied to me? Danny: Your mother gave you something to believe in: a hero. A father you could be proud of. Because she loves you. That's the truth. Whether you choose to believe it or not is up to you. [Empty strip club.] Gary: Still here? Justin: So, how do I do? Gary: Not bad - for your first time. Justin: But the tips sucks. Gary: What do you expecting? Justin: More than I got in the diner. Gary: Then you need to dance on the bar. Justin: How do I do that? Gary: Look, you had to work your way up. Maybe in six months. Justin: Six months? I need money now to pay for school. Gary: Well, there is a problem. I tell you what. You give me some time, I'll give you some time. Justin: No, thanks. Gary: It's up to you. Oh, and if you change your mind and you decide you wanna make... say couple of thou a months, let me know. [Justin goes to Gary and squeeze his crotch. Gary take it immediately in his mouth. Justin almost cries but doesn't stop Gary.] [Justin goes home beaming. Brian works on his computer.] Justin: You're still up? Brian: Yeah, I'm doin' my homework. So, what's like? Justin: I had to talk to the boss. Brian: Uh-huh. Justin: He said I could start tomorrow dance on the bar. Brian: After only one night? Justin: Told you I could take care of myself. [Brian keeps working on the computer. Justin walks over and kisses Brian on the mouth. Brian looks suspicious.] Brian: Yeah, I guess you can. [Debbies home. Debbie's putting the fake dad away. Michael walks in.] Michael: Ma, what are you doin' up so late? Debbie: I couldn't sleep. What about you? Michael: Same. I came to return the yearbook. Debbie: You can have it. Michael: What are you doin'? Debbie: Puttin' things away. Make some room. Some things I had to do long time ago. Michael: It's "Dad's shrine." You can't just read of it. Debbie: No need for it now. Michael: What are you talking about? Debbie: No need to pretend, Michael. The truth is... Michael: ...just like you said. My father is Lieutenant John Michael Novotny. Died in Vietnam, April 10, 1970. He was killed just two weeks after I was born when the Jeep he was driving ran over a landmine that was carving a path through the jungle on a mission to save his troops. Right, Ma? Debbie: Right. [she says through tears.] Michael: For which he was posthumously awarded the Purple Heart. Debbie: And his last words were, 'Tell my son I love him more than life itself.' Michael: 'And I'll always be proud of him.' [Debbie and Michael embrace as the camera lifts.]

Divina Devore, Pittsburgh's very own drag queen is back in town! She dated Debbie 30 years ago, and (s)he looks a lot like Michael. Justin becomes a go-go dancer at Babylon to earn money for school. Melanie and Lindsay struggle to get Gus accepted for preschool.

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Scene: The apartment. The guys are studying a complex chart on the whiteboard. Leonard: Hmmm. Sheldon: The problem appears to be unsolvable. Raj: Maybe you could run some computer simulations. Howard: There are too many variables. It would take forever. Leonard: We've got to be missing something. Let's start again. The movie is playing here at 7:20, here at 7:40, here at 8:10 and here at 8:45. Sheldon: Right, these theatres have to be eliminated. Leonard: Why? They're state-of-the-art digital projection, 20-channel surround sound. Sheldon: Yes, but they have no Icee machines. Despite my aggressive letter-writing campaign, I might add. Raj: What about the multiplex here? The seats are terrific. Sheldon: They have Twizzlers instead of Red Vines. No amount of lumbar support can compensate for that. Leonard: Well, it's gonna take at least an hour to eat, and I don't see a Sheldon-approved restaurant proximate to a Sheldon-approved theatre. Raj: We could eat after the movie. Sheldon: Unacceptable, the delay would result in tomorrow morning's bowel movement occurring at work. Raj: Hang on, hang on. There's a 7-Eleven here. We smuggle Slurpies, which are essentially Icees, in under our coats, after having a pleasant meal either here, here or here. Howard: Wow. I don't see how we missed that. Sheldon: Excuse me, in what universe are Slurpies Icees? Raj: That's how we missed it. Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared, on a non-precedential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc Slurpie-Icee equivalency? Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, you know I can't do that. Howard: Okay, I guess we only have one option. Raj: Yep, I don't see any way around it. Leonard: Bye, Sheldon. Howard: See ya. Raj: Later, dude. Sheldon: They're right, it was the only option. Credits sequence. Scene: The hallway. Sheldon is opening the apartment door. Penny comes running up stairs. Penny: Ooh, ooh, shut the door, shut the door. Sheldon: Why? Penny: Just do it! (Penny runs in. Sheldon shuts door. Penny opens door again) Get inside and shut the door. Sheldon: Well, you didn't specify. Penny: Is Leonard around? Sheldon: He went to the movies without me. It was the only option. I'm sorry, I don't understand which social situation this is. Could you give me some guidance as to how to proceed? Penny: The building manager's showing an apartment downstairs, and I haven't paid my rent. Sheldon: Oh, I see. Penny, I'm not sure I'm comfortable harbouring a fugitive from the 2311 North Los Robles Corporation. Penny: It's no big deal. I'm just a little behind on my bills because they cut back my hours at the restaurant and my car broke down. Sheldon: If you recall, I pointed out the "check engine" light to you several months ago. Penny: Well the "check engine" light is fine. It's still blinking away. It's the stupid engine that stopped working. It cost me like twelve hundred dollars to fix it. Sheldon: You know, it occurs to me you could solve all your problems by obtaining more money. Penny: Yes, it occurs to me, too. Sheldon: Hang on a moment. (He opens a jar. Snakes jump out. He then pulls out a large wedge of money) Here. Take some. Pay me back when you can. Penny: Wow, you got a lot of money in there. Sheldon: That's why it's guarded by snakes. Take some. Penny: Don't be silly. Sheldon: I'm never silly. Here. Penny: No, I can't. Sheldon: Don't you need money? Penny: Well, yeah, but... Sheldon: This is money I'm not using. Penny: But what if you need it? Sheldon: My expenses account for 46.9% of my after-tax income. The rest is divvied up between a small savings account, this deceptive container of peanut brittle and the hollowed-out buttocks of a superhero action figure who shall remain nameless for his own protection. Or her own protection. Take some. Penny: Really? I mean, are you sure? Sheldon: I see no large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with adamantium like Wolverine. Penny: Are they working on that? Sheldon: I sincerely hope so. Penny: Okay. Well, thank you. Oh, God, no, I can't. Sheldon honey, I don't want things to be weird between us. Sheldon: Won't it also be weird if I have to say hello to you every morning on my way to work and you're living in a refrigerator box and washing your hair with rain water? Penny: I'll pay you back as soon as I can. Sheldon: Of course you will. It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality. Penny: I'm regretting this already. Scene: Entering the lobby of the building. Sheldon: You know, I've given the matter some thought, and I think I'd be willing to be a house pet to a race of super-intelligent aliens. Leonard: Interesting. Sheldon: Ask me why. Leonard: Do I have to? Sheldon: Of course. That's how you move a conversation forward. Leonard: Why? Sheldon: The learning opportunities would be abundant. Additionally, I like having my belly scratched. Leonard: Hey, Penny. How was work? Penny: Great. I hope I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory for my whole life. Sheldon: Was that sarcasm? Penny: No. Sheldon: Was that sarcasm? Penny: Yes. Sheldon: Was that sarca.. Leonard: Stop it! Sheldon: Penny, you appear to have a package here. Penny: Oh, thanks. This must be the beret I ordered. A couple of months ago. It was back-ordered. Sheldon: Did you know the beret is an example of piece of women's fashion adapted from male military uniforms? Another fascinating example is the epaulet. Leonard: He's not lying, he does find that fascinating. Penny: Okay, whatever. It's not like I'm running up and down the streets just buying myself berets. I bought one, like, a month ago, and it was back-ordered, look, it finally arrived, all right? Sheldon: All right. Penny: Oh, my God, would you just get off my case? Leonard: Weird. Sheldon: Oh, good, that was an unusual interaction. I wasn't sure. Leonard: Did you guys have an argument? Sheldon: No. Leonard: Well, you clearly did something to aggravate her. Sheldon: I'm at a loss. If you like, you can review my daily log of social interactions and see if there's a blunder I overlooked. Scene: The apartment. Leonard: Here you go. Oh, you owe me another two dollars. The price of mu-shu pork went up. Howard: It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew. Leonard: Here you go, Penny. Shrimp with lobster sauce. Penny: Thank you, Leonard. What's my share? Leonard: Don't worry about it. It's my treat. Penny: No, really, how much? Leonard: It's, whatever. Ten, eleven dollars. Penny: Well, which is it, ten or eleven? Leonard: Fourteen fifty, but it's no biggie, you'll get the next one. (Raj whispers something to Howard) Penny: What? Howard: He was just wondering if he wore skintight jeans and a tank top if he'd get his shrimp lo mein for free. Penny: What are you saying? That I'm using my body to get dinner? That I'm some kind of Chinese food prostitute? Howard: Yeah, Raj, what are you saying? Penny: 'Cause let me tell you something, buddy, I pay my own way in this world, okay? I don't rely on anybody! (Raj runs out of the room) What was that about? Howard: He has a nervous bladder when he's stressed out. Kind of like a puppy. Penny: Here, Leonard, ten, eleven, twelve, uh, fourteen dollars. Leonard: It was fourteen fifty, but it's okay. Sheldon: Oh, good. Dinner's here. Penny: Yes, dinner's here, and I'm having some. I'm having takeout food. Sheldon: Okay. Penny: You're damn right it's okay. I've been having leftovers at the restaurant for like four days, and I wanted something different. So sue me. Sheldon: Forgive me, Penny, but that would be the very definition of a frivolous lawsuit. Penny: Sheldon, look, I will pay you back as soon as I can. You just have to give me more time. Leonard: Oh, wait, you lent her money? Penny: She needed money. You seem under pressure. Did I not lend you a sufficient amount? Because I can give you more. Penny: Oh, you know, you would just love that, wouldn't you? Yeah. You would just love to open up your little snake can and throw some money at the girl who can't pay her bills. Leonard: Where are you going? Penny: Going home, where I won't be interrogated like a criminal. I forgot my fortune cookie. Sheldon: In case either of you have larceny in your heart, you should know that I've moved my money out of the snake can. Leonard: But if you're ever short, there's always a couple of fifties in Green Lantern's ass. Scene: Penny's apartment. Leonard: Hey. Penny: Hey. Leonard: A little mood lighting, huh? Penny: Yeah. When I didn't pay my bill, the Department of Water and Power thought I would enjoy the ambience. Leonard: Yeah, they're very considerate that way. Penny: I used Sheldon's money to pay my rent, then I had like fourteen dollars left over. Leonard: Fourteen dollars, huh? Penny: Put it back in your pocket, or I'll find some other place to put it. Leonard: Back in the pocket it goes. Look, you do understand that Sheldon really doesn't care when he gets the money back. It's actually one of the few idiosyncrasies that doesn't make you want to, you know, kill him. Penny: Yeah, well, that's not really my big problem. Leonard: So you're a little behind on your bills. Everybody gets behind on their bills. Penny: Yeah, I know, it's just, this wasn't the plan, it wasn't supposed to go this way. Leonard: Well, what was the plan? Penny: Um, waitress for six months and then become a movie star. Leonard: Was there a plan B? Penny: TV star. Leonard: It's probably not as bad as you think. Let's take a look. Maybe we can find some corners to cut. Oh, here's something, if you don't have electricity, then you probably don't need cable. Just a suggestion. 170 dollars for acting classes? Penny: Oh, no, I can't give up my acting classes. I'm a professional actress. Leonard: You've had an acting job where you got paid? Penny: That is not the definition of professional. Leonard: Actually, it kind of... let's keep looking. Whoa, what's eighteen hundred dollars to the Los Angeles County Superior Court? Penny: Oh, that's nothing. Leonard: Nothing? It sounds like you got caught speeding going 4,000 miles an hour. Penny: Well, remember Kurt? Leonard: Your ex-boyfriend? Penny: Yeah. He got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car. Leonard: What? Penny: He was drunk. Leonard: I would hope so. Penny: Anyway, he had a bunch of outstanding tickets and a bench warrant, so I, you know, I paid his fines. Leonard: Did he pay you back? Penny: No, but he will. Leonard: And that's based on the inherent credit-worthiness of people who get drunk and urinate on police vehicles? Penny: Leonard, I'm not gonna call up Kurt and ask him for money. Leonard: Well what are you gonna do? Penny: I don't know, but I may have to find a cheaper place to live. Leonard: Oh, no. Oh, you don't want to do that. Penny: Why not? Leonard: Well, moving is a big deal. You have to go to the supermarket and get boxes, and if they're not clean, then your books smell like melons, and it's just, like... Why don't you just get a roommate and stay here? Penny: Well, do you know anybody? Leonard: Well, I'm sure the guy living with Sheldon wouldn't mind moving in with you. Penny: Oh, Leonard, honey, if we started living together, I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. Leonard: Really? Penny: And you thought my acting lessons were a waste of money. [SCENE_BREAK] Scene: The apartment. Howard: Ugh. This mu-shu pork's burning a hole through my duodenum. Raj: Leviticus 11:3: "Only that which parteth the hoof and cheweth the cud among the beasts shall ye eat." Howard: Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad-Gita every time you scarf down a Whopper? Leonard: Hey, what's going on? Raj: We're on a quest through the Valley of Fire to acquire the sacred crown. Howard: You want the Valley of Fire? It's right here. Leonard: Hey, you guys want to go on a real live quest? Sheldon: Outside? I just made cocoa. Leonard: - Come on. It'll be fun. Howard: What is it? Leonard: Do you guys remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Kurt? (They all hold their hands above their heads) Yeah, that's him. It turns out he owes Penny a lot of money, and I'm gonna go get it from him. Who's with me? Howard: Ooh, double sixes. Leonard: Really? You're just gonna let me go by myself? Raj: Oh, cool, I got a sword. Leonard: I could use some help. Raj: Here. Leonard: You guys are unbelievable, you play a game to simulate adventure, but when there's real adventure out there in the real world, you just wimp out. Sheldon: Leonard, do you not recall the last time we visited this gentleman, we returned home without pants? Leonard: I do. Sheldon: Are you sure? Because your proposal suggests that you don't. Leonard: I'm not afraid of him. Sheldon: All right. Leonard fairly calls the question, who is in favour of abandoning our game and confronting Penny's steroid-infused ex-boyfriend in a suicidal mission to extract money from him? Say hi to Kurt for us. Leonard: Excuse me. When Frodo left the Shire to take the one ring to Mordor, didn't Samwise, Pippin and Merry go with him? Sheldon: They did. Leonard: Well? Sheldon: They had a terrible time of it, Leonard. Raj: Plus, no one stole their pants. Leonard: Fine. Just enjoy your little game. I'll make this quest on my own. Howard: Leonard, wait. Take a jacket, it's spritzing a little. Leonard: You guys suck. (Leaves. Comes back) Come on, please? He's so big. Scene: Outside Kurt's door. Leonard: Okay, is everyone clear on the plan? Howard: Yes. Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away, and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches? Leonard: Guys, there are four of us and one of him. Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him. Leonard: Okay, how about this? I'll do the talking, you just stand behind me and try to look formidable. Raj: I should've peed before we left. Kurt: Yeah? Leonard: Hi, Kurt. Kurt: Lenny, right? Leonard: I don't really go by Lenny, but that's okay. Um, you remember Sheldon, Howard and Raj. Kurt: No. What do you want? Sheldon: You don't remember me? How could he not remember me? Leonard: Sheldon, not now. Sheldon: I remember him. Leonard: Okay, here it is. Penny's in kind of a financial jam, and the money that you owe her would go a long way to solving her problems. Kurt: And she sent you to get it from me? Leonard: No, no, she's too proud to ask for the money. I, on the other hand, feel you should honour your debt. Kurt: You do? Leonard: Feel is a kind of a... it's a strong word. Um, I just think it would be a nice gesture on your part. Kurt: She'll get it when she gets it. Howard: Well, there you go. Problem solved. Raj: A successful quest. Now let's go find a gas station with a clean bathroom. Leonard: No, the problem isn't solved. He just blew us off. Sheldon: I've got it. He didn't remember me because the last time we met I was in a Halloween costume. Howard: Come on, Leonard, let's go Leonard: No. You can leave if you want to. I'm gonna see this through. Howard: Okay. (They leave) Leonard: I guess, technically, that was my fault. (Knocks) I'm not leaving here without Penny's money. Kurt: What happened to your backup? Leonard: I don't need backup. I have right on my side. And I'm wearing cargo shorts under my pants. Scene: Leonard's car. Sheldon: Congratulations. You may not have succeeded in getting cash, but you did secure a formal acknowledgment of the debt. (Leonard has "I owe Penny $1800, Kurt" written on his forehead.) Howard: Maybe we should have your head notarized. Raj: If anybody cares, I still have to pee. Scene: Outside the apartment. Penny knocks. Leonard: Hey. Penny: Hey, is Sheldon here? Leonard: Yeah. Hang on. Sheldon! Penny: Nice hat. Leonard: It's kind of a fashionable look these days. Penny: Maybe if you're working on a tuna boat. Sheldon: Hello, Penny. Penny: Sheldon, here is your money. Thank you very much. It helped a lot. Sheldon: Sarcasm? Penny: No. Sheldon: Darn. I can't seem to get the hang of that. Leonard: Hey, I know it's none of my business, but where did the money come from? Penny: Well, I cut back my expenses like you said and picked up a few more hours at the restaurant, but the biggest thing was, out of the blue, Kurt shows up and gives me the money he owes me. Leonard: Really? Did he say why? Penny: Yes, he said he was feeling guilty and wanted to do what was right. Leonard: That's it? Did he give any reason as to why he came to this moral epiphany? Penny: Nope. I just think he's really changed. We're having dinner tomorrow night, and I get to wear my new beret. Bye, guys. Leonard: Bye. Sheldon: Well done, Leonard. The true hero doesn't seek adulation, he fights for right and justice simply because it's his nature. Leonard: Penny's hooking up with her jerk of an ex-boyfriend and I have indelible ink on my forehead! Sheldon: That's your badge of honour, your warrior's wound, if you will. I was wrong, minstrels will write songs about you. Leonard: Great. Sheldon (sings): There once was a brave lad named Leonard, with a fi-fi-fiddle-dee-dee. He faced a fearsome giant, while Raj just wanted to pee.

Penny is in financial difficulties and might even need to find a new place to live. After discussing this with her, Sheldon does the logical thing and lends her some money which she can repay at her leisure. When Leonard learns about Penny's problems, he tries to help her cut her expenses, and in the process learns that her ex-boyfriend Kurt owes her $1,800. Without telling Penny, Leonard and the guys go to Kurt's place to recover the money. They are unsuccessful, though Kurt writes "I owe Penny $1800, Kurt" on Leonard's forehead in indelible ink. Penny later repays Sheldon after Kurt unexpectedly repays her but, much to Leonard's disappointment, Kurt did not tell Penny about Leonard's visit, instead taking the opportunity to try to get back together with her.

fd_One_Tree_Hill_07x02

fd_One_Tree_Hill_07x02_0

[PREVIOUSLY_ON] Julian : I decided not to produce the movie. There's this girl that... I'm kind of in love with, and... I couldn't be away from her for another day. Haley : I know the label's gonna run a lot smoother with you at the helm. Miranda : I'm not here to run the label. I'm here to close it. Mouth : You're mad because I want you to move out, but it's only because I'm trying to step things up with Millie. Skills : You trying to get rid of me with your naked ass. It ain't gonna work. Quinn : You know earlier when... when I said I miss David? Haley : What happened, Quinn? You said he... Quinn : I left him. Clay : Does that girl look familiar to you? Nathan : Yeah, she was at the party today. Why? Clay : She says she slept with you on the road, Nate, and she's going public. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Man : And where will you run... back to the life of a peasant harlot? Alex : Perhaps I will. But should I return to a life of more meager means, I will do so with my dignity intact, my heart pure and true. Man : And yet you had no dignity nor purity in my bed a fortnight ago. Alex : Meager means, indeed. Man : Harlot! Leave the dress! Brooke : Millie was right. Alex Dupré is the perfect choice to be the face of the new campaign. She's smart. She's talented. She is crazy beautiful. Julian? Julian : I'm shaving! Brooke : How come this movie never came out? Julian : Because smart and talented and beautiful got all hopped up on goofballs and had to be checked into rehab. By the way, those dailies are top secret. I had to call in about a dozen favors to get 'em. Brooke : Aww, my baby's so good to me. Damn. I am really gonna like this living-together thing. I want you to move your stuff in, okay? This is our house now, not just mine. Julian : Good. Well, then how would you feel about going back to our bedroom for a little while? Brooke : I'd make a joke about meager means, but... it would simply be untrue. ON THE BEACH Clay : Hey. You know I'm not judging you, right? Nathan : Clay, listen, man, you've known me for a long time now. I don't care what that woman says. I did not sleep with her, all right? Clay : All right. Nathan : It's unbelievable to me that she could just show up and spout a bunch of lies, and the next thing you know, I'm in the headlines, my family's in the headlines, and I'm guilty before I'm innocent. Clay : Don't freak out. You're not in the headlines yet. And believe it or not, this kind of thing, it happens a lot. You're a public figure, and they know you make a lot of money. Nathan : I'm in a contract year, Clay. Clay : I know. So, here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna stay in shape, you're gonna stay focused, and you're gonna let me handle it. All right? Nathan : All right. *yeah* AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : It has been ringing off the hook. *waves crash along* Haley : Quinn, what happened? I mean, what actually happened between you and David? Quinn : He just changed, you know? I mean, he used to see the world exactly the way I saw it. He just doesn't anymore. Haley : But he still loves you. Quinn : I know. But I don't know if that's enough. Haley : I'm sorry. I got to go. I got to go down to the studio and take care of this whole "shutting us down" mess. Quinn : Do you need my help? Haley : No. You just stay here and enjoy your day. I'll see you later. Quinn : Okay. Haley : It's gonna be okay, Quinn. Quinn : I love you. Haley : I love you, too. *keep your hello* *don't think about it at all* AT MOUHT'S APPARTMENT Millicent : Is it okay? Skills : You're good. Millicent : Damn it, Skills! Skills : What up, Millie? Millicent : You and Marvin need to stop this ridiculous naked standoff! Skills : Hey, look, he started it, trying to get me to move out. Millicent : Okay, look... I'm going to pick up Alex Dupré from the airport. I'm gonna work a full day, and when I get home, you two idiots better have your pants on! IN THE CAR Jamie : So, what are you gonna do? Skills : I ain't moving out. That's for sure. Jamie : Why not? If Chester hopped around without his fur on, I'd probably move out. Skills : Yeah, well, it's a long story. So, you ready for the beach? Jamie : Totally. You think I can bury you and Miss Lauren in the sand? Skills : Cool with me. Oh, and, um, don't tell Miss Lauren about the whole moving-out stuff, all right? Jamie : Why not? Skills : Just don't. Wait. Uh-Oh, here she comes. Lauren : Hey, boys. Ready for the beach? What are you guys up to? Skills : Nothing. Jamie : Nothing. Lauren : Huh. *that girl's a genius* *whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh* TV BROADCAST Dan : Never believe that you can deceive. You might think that you can get away with it. You might actually get away with it... for a while. But your life is made up of choices and decisions. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Paul : Hi, Julian. Julian : Dad. What are you doing here? Paul : I came to talk you out of the worst decision of your life. TV BROADCAST Dan : Poor choices, poor life. Bad decisions... bad life. AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Haley : Come on. Where is it? Miranda : Page 7, item 4... It's the part of the contract that basically says we can acquire the label whenever we'd like. TV BROADCAST Dan : Wickedness... As you know, I've been there. I'm not alone. My wife was, too. She was deceptive and manipulative. She abused drink and drugs. She was promiscuous. But today she stands beside me a changed woman, a caring woman, a better woman. Ladies and gentlemen, my wife, and the love of my life. *my girl's ready to take control* *she just blows my mind* *she only listens to the radio* Dan : I love you, honey. Rachel : I love you, honey. *yeah* *she wakes up scared of getting old* AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Julian : I didn't make a bad decision, dad. Paul : Is that right? You walked away from a potential blockbuster movie days before production, and for what? Julian : For love. Paul : Love... with Brooke Davis. Julian : Be careful, dad. Paul : Julian, she's Brooke Davis! I read the tabloids. This is a fling for her, and it could cost you your career! Julian : I think you need to leave. *behind the tv screen I've fallen to my knees* Paul : Your career was one movie away from being prestigious... This movie. And you walk away. For what? A promiscuous fashion designer. *I need to get away* *blanket of silence* *makes me want to sink my teeth in deep* *burn all the evidence* AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Miranda : Oh, this glass is gonna look amazing in my loft in Los Angeles. Haley : All right, Miranda, I know that you have a legal right to shut down the label, but you don't have to be a total bitch about it. Miranda : You're the producer, Haley, and, potentially, a great artist, but you don't have time to record because you're running what is essentially a vanity label. Haley : Va... vanity la... You guys would not have Mia Catalano if it wasn't for this label. You wouldn't have had the time or patience or interest to develop an artist like her. That's what small labels do. We develop and nurture artists. It's something corporate labels will never do. Miranda : I've always wanted a pool table. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : I can't believe your dad just came all this way to tell you he thinks you're making a mistake. He couldn't call or text or tweet that to you? Julian : He's a movie producer, Brooke. He loves the dramatic. Brooke : Well, what else did he say? Julian : He wanted to know what my game plan was... was I still actively producing, do I have a development staff finding me new properties, and... Brooke : That is some poster. Julian : What? Oh, right. You like it? Brooke : Yeah. It's... different for the living room. Julian : He was just so crazy, my father. Brooke : Do you think maybe you would like that better in the spare bedroom or in your office? We could get you an office for that. Julian : Look, my dad just flew five hours to ask me if I'm quitting the business and getting married. Brooke : What did you say? Julian : I asked him to leave. Brooke : No, about the "marriage" part. Julian : I told him he was crazy. We're not getting married. We just moved in together. I... I don't... I don't know what the hell got into him. *I ain't got no other place to hide* *chained down like a sitting duck* *just waiting for the fall* TV BROADCAST Rachel : Hey, you. Dan : The clock... it was a good idea. I think it reminds people that every second counts. Rachel : It's easy. People don't have to work that hard to get it. We have that dinner tonight with the investment guys from Texas. I think you should tell them the whole "phoenix rising from the ashes" story. They'll love it. Dan : It was a good show today. I think we might have reached some people. Do you think it was a good show? Rachel : I'll let you know after I see the ratings. I got to go. Dan : Hey. I love you. Rachel : I know, baby. Wear your gray suit tonight. You always look good in that suit. AT THE AEROPORT Alex : Guys. Fan : Right here! Alex : Hey. There you go. Fan : One more. Tanya : Miss Dupré? Miss dupré? Could I get an autograph? Alex : Oh, yeah, sure, you pretty thing. What's your name? Tanya : Tanya. Alex : Tanya? Tanya : I loved you in "Heart so true". You were so brave in that. Alex : Oh, thank you, sweetie. But that's just acting. You're the brave one. Tanya : Thanks. Alex : Bye. Bye bye. Millicent : Alex, Millicent Huxtable, Clothes Over Bros. Welcome to Tree Hill. Alex : Thank you. IN THE CAR Millicent : Can I just say that I am your biggest fan? And it's because of things like that... that you would take the time to inspire that poor girl in the wheelchair after such a long flight. Alex : They kind of creep me out. Millicent : What? Alex : Cripples and, like, retarded people. They're always, like, drooling and smiling really weird. It's so gross. Water, water, water. Um, is there any wine in here? Millicent : Um, I thought you were sober. You just went to rehab. Alex : Ugh, do not remind me. They took my phone away. Besides, wine's not even alcohol. It's like grape. Ugh, it's so hot out there. Where the hell are we? It's like the devil's ass in this place. When do I get paid? Millicent : I think your agent takes care of that. Alex : Can I just tell you... I hate that woman. She's like a complete alcoholic, and her fingers look like chicken feet. Btw, I am starving. Is there any food? Millicent : Well, I read that you only eat organic food, so we have an entire organic feast waiting at the hotel. Alex : Yeah, I just make that stuff up. Can you drive through a Mickey d's? I could totally eat the butt off a skunk right now. Millicent : Um, drive on... please. ON THE BEACH Clay : Nate, it's gonna be okay. You know, we haven't heard from this woman since the one e-mail. So, until it's real, it's not real. You know, and besides, who the hell would want to sleep with you, anyway? Okay, I know it's bad timing, but damn. Nathan : Dude, quit checking out my sister-in-law. Quinn : Hey, dumb and dumber. Clay : Hey. Quinn : Nice day, huh? Nathan : I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's nothing. Clay : Actually, uh... now it is something. Lauren : Hey Jamie can you scratch my noze. Aah, thank you. Oh! My hat! Jamie : I'll get it. Lauren : Ohh. Skills : Can you move? Lauren : Not a muscle. Skills : Me neither. Man, I hope that knucklehead come back. AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Haley : So, listen, Peyton, here's the thing... Uh, you know how I... insisted that you keep that 1 % of the label? Well, it... it kind of killed the label. But, Haley... Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I can see that I'm upsetting you, and I don't want to do that. So, um, let me just, uh... Talk to Lucas. Geez, Haley, I... I... I... I... I don't know, you know? This has really meant a lot to... Peyton. I know. I know. I'm a terrible friend, and there's nothing that I can do unless I... You might be a genius, Haley. Thank you, Haley. * am I * * am I losing my mind? * ON THE BEACH Jamie : Oh! Quinn : Jamie? Jamie : Aunt Quinn! Quinn : Hey! Who let you off your leash? Jamie : Uncle Skills, but he didn't bring the leash today. Quinn : Okay, where is he? Jamie : He's over there. Miss Lauren, too. This is her hat. Cool. Quinn : Well, I was just on my way to go get a snack. Can I tempt you? Jamie : Sure. Quinn : Yeah? You should probably tell them you're with me. Jamie : Denzel, this is Macaulay. Denzel, this is Macaulay. I'm going for a snack with my aunt Quinn. Over. Okay, all set. Stupid, crazy nanny. Quinn : Hop on. Whoop! There we go. What do you want? ON THE STREET Dan : Hey, give me a sec, okay? Rachel : Okay. Dan : Mind if I join you? Man : Spare a few bucks? Dan : First... you mind telling me how you got here? Man : You must be one of them religious guys or something. Dan : No. I got nothing against religion. If you ask me, the one man you got to believe in... is you. Man : I stopped believing in me a long time ago. Dan : Why? You made some mistakes? You failed sometimes? Listen. No matter what mistakes or failures you had, they weren't even close to mine. There's a book you should read. Man : You're talking about the bible. Dan : No, man, it's not the bible. It's this book. Listen. There's a used-book shop around the corner. Now, you can take this book, sell it for a few bucks, buy yourself a bottle, and feel good for a few minutes. Or you could read it and feel better for the rest of your life. Man : Hey. What your name is, man? Dan : My name is Dan Scott. And I believe in you. AT CLOTHES OVER BROS Millicent : He probably didn't mean it. Brooke : It was just the way he said it, as if the very idea of us ever getting married was somehow completely ridiculous to him. And then he hung this ugly army-man poster in the living room. I have to talk to him. Millicent : Okay, but he might freak out a little if you start talking marriage so soon. Brooke : No, about the poster, you dork. It has to go. I am really excited to meet Alex, though. How is she? Millicent : Um... she's really... something. She just wanted to freshen up. You're gonna love her. AT THE HOTEL ROOM Millicent : She's gonna hate you! Alex : Go away, you witch. Millicent : "Witch"? "Witch"?! Look, missy, my ass is on the line here! Alex : You mean your big ass. Millicent : Really? Really? Get up! Alex : I'm tired! Millicent : Well, you better get un-tired because you're going over to Clothes Over Bros, and you're gonna convince Brooke Davis that the half-million dollars she's paying you is not a waste! Alex : Half a million dollars? AT THE RESTAURANT Clay : So, you want to talk? Talk. Renee : What, no "hello"? No introductions? Clay : Your name's Renee. I recognize you from the picture you took when you trespassed at a 7-Year-Old's birthday party. You have a last name? Renee : You're kind of hot when you're all fired up. Clay : I know he didn't do it. I don't know what your angle is, and I don't know why you targeted Nathan Scott, but what I do know is that he didn't do it. Renee : You're quite the party boy, aren't you? Clay : I'm single. He's not. Renee : Oh, like that matters. Clay : Maybe not to girls like you, but to Nathan it does. Renee : "Girls like me." You know what's so great about justice? It doesn't discriminate against "girls like me." Nathan : What do you want from me? Clay : Whoa, walk away, Nate. Nathan : Huh? Renee : Hi, Nathan. Nathan : You need to stop this. Clay : Outside. Nathan : You need to stop this now, okay? Do you hear me? Why are you doing this to me? Clay : Come on. Clay : What the hell is wrong with you? Nathan : I just wanted to talk to her. Clay : In public? In front of a roomful of people with camera phones and video, you wanted to talk with her, just thought you'd have a little chat? Nathan : I'm sorry. I screwed up. Clay : Yeah, you screwed up, Nate! Nathan : What does she want? Clay : I don't know. I was about to find out until Nathan Scott stormed in like a madman! Nathan : Look, I said I was sorry, jackass. Let it go. Clay : I'm gonna see if she'll sit down with me again. In the meantime, you just, um... Try not to get thrown through a window, all right? Damn it, Nate. AT CLOTHES OVER BROS Millicent : Brooke? Please don't fire me. Please don't fire me. Alex : Shut up. I'm an actress. I got this. Brooke : Alex, hi, I'm Brooke Davis. It's so nice to meet you. Alex : Oh... my... God. You are so beautiful. Brooke : Thank you. Alex : Can I just say that I'm so happy to be here? And I think it's so great that you make designer clothes for plus-sized girls. I never knew it was based on you, but I think that's so sweet. Brooke : Uh, no, I'm normal-sized. Alex : Oh, I know, but I have the best diet for you. You're so gonna lose that weight. Brooke : Okay. How was your flight? You flew private, right? Alex : Uh-Huh. They let me ride in the cockpit. It was so rad. Brooke : In the cockpit? Alex : Totally. They let me steer the plane and everything. Brooke : They let you fly the plane. Alex : I know! I'm so a cockpit girl. Brooke : That's what she said. Alex : Who? Brooke : Who what? Alex : You... you said she said something, but I don't know who you mean. Brooke : No, it's... it's an expression. When someone says something that sounds sexual, you say, "that's what Alex : she said". Alex : Oh. Right. Brooke : Okay. Alex : Why don't we show Alex the new line? Brooke : Great. You're gonna love it. It's kind of elegant and kind of edgy, and the pieces are a lot like this one. Alex : No, I don't like that. Brooke : Why? Alex : Uh, first of all, it's purple. When I was a little girl, there was this dinosaur thing, and it totally freaked me out, and it was purple. Brooke : You mean Barney? Alex : Yeah. That's what she said. Brooke : Okay. That's totally wrong, but... Alex : I know. I'm so funny, huh? My best friend, Kimmy, told me I should totally do more comedy. She says most people are really uptight, but I'm not tight at all. Brooke : That's what she said. Alex : Who? Oh, Kimmy? Yeah, she said that. She said I'm so much funnier than Cameron Diaz. I mean, plus, have you seen my ass? Come on. Way better than hers. Like way. Brooke : Could you excuse us for just... One minute? Alex : Sure. I have to pee, anyway. Brooke : Great. Second door on the left. Alex : Okay. Millicent : I'll just clean out my things and go. ON THE BEACH Jamie : Remember that time I stayed with you and uncle David for a whole week? Quinn : Yep, and we made pancakes every morning with chocolate sauce and whipped cream? Jamie : Maybe if David comes, we could do that again. Quinn : Yeah. Maybe. Hey, are you sure Skills and Lauren won't be worried about you? Jamie : Oh, man! IN THE CAR Jamie : At least I got your hat. AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Haley : So, can I talk to you? Miranda : Would you like to speak with me or talk to me? Haley : Oh, brother, you are a piece of work. So, you're excited about my record, right? John Knight's excited about my record, which is why you guys want to close Red Bedroom... to free me up to record? Miranda : In part, yes. Haley : If you close Red Bedroom, I'm not gonna make an album. Miranda : Haley, you need to remove the emotion from this. It's a business decision. It's not personal. Haley : It is personal. Everything about this label is personal... why Peyton started it, why she made me her partner... It's as personal as it gets. Miranda : If you don't record with us, you don't record at all. We have a contract with you. We own you. Mia : But you don't own me. Miranda : It's a pleasure to meet you, Mia. I've seen you perform a few times, but we've never been formally introduced. Miranda Stone. Mia : Haley's told me a lot about you. Miranda : Red Bedroom records will always be important to us, but at the moment... Mia : Can we just cut to the chase? Haley : How is Chase? Mia : He's good. He says hi. Thanks. Haley : Aww, I was there at your first date. Mia : Oh, I know. You and Nathan were so great. I sold more records than any artist on our roster last year. But if this label goes away, so do I. Miranda : How so? Mia : You distribute my records, but I record for Red Bedroom, exclusively. Peyton made sure of that. Haley : It's true. I checked. Miranda : Wow. Everyone has their price. Mia : No, actually, not everyone. Peyton and Haley are responsible for my career, and you can't put a price on that. And even if you do, I won't accept it. So, congratulations. You're about to lose your biggest-selling artist. Does that pretty much do it, Hales? Haley : Yes. Thank you. Mia : So good to see you. Haley : Oh, good to see you, too. You look so cute. Mia : Thanks. I'll let you two talk. Haley : Yeah? Who's the bitch now, bitch? AT CLOTHES OVER BROS Millicent : I'm so sorry. I should have met with her first. I thought she was the girl from her movies. Brooke : It's okay. I thought so, too. She has been in that bathroom a really long time. Millicent : What are we gonna do? Brooke : I'll tell you what we're not gonna do. We are not gonna pay that dum-dum $500,000. We'll just have to... tell her something. We'll say the company went bankrupt or... Or maybe... we should just start speaking Spanish and she'll get really confused and she'll just leave. Millicent : I don't think that's gonna work. Brooke : It might. She is really dumb. Alex : Brooke? Brooke : Buenos dias. Tenido mucha cerveza. Millicent : Ay, mucha cerveza. Alex : It's okay. I, uh... I know I'm not what you expected. You don't have to pay me. It's just... Brooke : That's one of my designs. Alex : Since rehab, this dress is all I have. When I felt like I was nothing, it gave me strength and dignity. So, no matter what happens to me or where my life takes me, I'll wear this dress... your dress... and I'll be fine. Brooke : It's okay. Of course we will pay you. I... I think you look beautiful in that dress, and I think you're gonna be perfect as the face of the line. Alex : Really? That is so rad! Brooke : Oh! Alex : Yay! AT TV BROADCAST Rachel : Hey. Look at this. It's all over the internet. The buzz is really positive. Dan : I didn't really have "buzz" in mind. Rachel : I know, but that's why you have me. *I'm here if you need me* *oh, this way* ... AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : Well, hi. What are you doing? Julian : Fixing you dinner, and thinking about getting rid of my poster. Brooke : Why? Julian : Because you have to eat and because... You hate it. Brooke : I don't hate it. Julian : Yeah. Brooke : No, I don't. I just... I don't really like it there. Julian : It's okay. My father, as you know, was always gone, always on some distant location or at the office, you know, making movies. But this one time, he came home and surprised me and took me to see "the thin red line". And then we spent the rest of the day together, just him and me. And that didn't happen very often. Actually, that really never happened again. But that day... that was a good day. That was probably the best day I ever had with him. And that was the day I decided I wanted to make movies, too, like my dad. *let it disappear into my hand* *whoa, yeah, my hand* AT THE RESTAURANT Clay : I appreciate you meeting me. Renee : Oh, so now you appreciate me. What happened to confrontational Clay? Clay : I'm confrontational because I'm protective over Nathan, and because, of all my clients, he's the last one I'd expect to be in this situation. Renee : And what situation is that? Clay : You tell me. Renee : Ask me what's in the envelope. Clay : I'm not here to play games. Renee : The night Nathan scored 35 points against Memphis, you threw a big party for him after the game. I should know. I was there. It got... pretty wild. Clay : Get to the point. Renee : The pictures of what happened between me and Nathan that night are in the envelope. Clay : Whatever's in that envelope is meaningless or fabricated, because we both know that whatever you're accusing him of doing, he didn't do. Renee : Maybe you should take a look. AT RED BEDROOM RECORDS Miranda : I spoke with John Knight. He thinks Mia's bluffing, and he still wants to fold the label. But I recommended we don't. Haley : Why? Miranda : Because integrity and loyalty still matter. Does that surprise you... that I actually have a heart? Haley : A little. Miranda : And besides, I don't think she's bluffing, and she makes us a lot of money. If I do this... if... Your album needs to be finished in the next six months. Haley : Hmm. Miranda : Why did Peyton start this label, anyway? You said it was personal. Haley : She thought that major labels were soulless. Miranda : We are. Don't forget it. *we just don't see it the same way* *but you're never sure* *we can't go on like this anymore* AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Brooke : It's open Paul : Brooke. You wanted to speak with me? Brooke : You know, my whole life, I wanted to get my mother to be proud of me. And then one night, Julian threatened to exile her from our lives, and I would do the same to you. I'm just not sure it would matter. Paul : You're upset. Brooke : I have this poster hanging in my living room, Paul. Of course I'm upset. And the only reason that it's hanging there is because you took him to see that movie, and for one day that boy felt close to his father. He felt loved and appreciated. And the sad part is that there was only one of those days. Because in my book, the day that he didn't feel that way should be the unique one. Fix it. *the hardest thing about this is I still care* *you know there's something better* *for both of us out there* AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Haley : Hey. Quinn : Hey. *cause you wait for rain* Quinn : How'd it go at the label? Haley : Um... I think I fixed it temporarily. Now I got to fix my sister. Did you talk to David? Quinn : There's not that much to talk about. We grew apart. You know, we stopped laughing as much, stopped caring as much. Haley : Did something happen recently? Quinn : One night in New York I went to go see "Spring awakening" with some friends. And after we took the subway to this ridiculous open-mike night in Brooklyn. And we watched these horrible performers who, for whatever reason, had to get onstage and be seen and heard. And as I'm watching them, I'm thinking that I understand them. You know, they... they were messy and... and unsure and maybe a little confused, but... but they were doing what they needed to do, you know, what their hearts needed them to do. And then David called my cell phone, and I didn't want to answer. You know, there was a time when he would have been sitting right there, and... and I would have loved that. But he hasn't been that guy in a while. Haley : You guys were great together, you know. I mean, you... you were really happy. Quinn : And then one day we weren't. And I know there's supposed to be some big, huge, important reason why, but there's not. It's just a feeling that I have that this isn't what I want for the rest of my life. Haley : People have a right to change, Quinn. Quinn : Yeah, but they also have a right to stay the same. They have a right to be exactly the person that they've always been. Okay? I didn't change, Haley. David changed. And now somehow I'm the one who's broken because of it. *wait for rain* *and I chase the stars* *we just don't see* ... Haley : So, tell me what the worst act was that you saw that open-mike night. Come on. Quinn : There was this really angry guy who sang "Cat's in the cradle". Yeah, I swear he was a serial killer. Haley : When he got done, everyone clapped, and he, like, sneered at the people who didn't. I guarantee you they're missing right now. *I chase the stars* Quinn : I miss you, Haley-Bob. Haley : I miss you, too. *bring on the wrecking ball* Haley : You're not broken. Quinn : Thanks. I hope not. AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Paul : Hi, son. I was just... heading back to L.A. and I wanted to... say goodbye. Julian : Okay. Paul : Listen... I came here to tell you that I think you're wrong to put your relationship before your career, but... I think it's me who's been wrong. I wasn't around enough. And... I was too busy caring for fictional characters instead of caring for the real ones in my life. Julian : You did fine, dad. *there's just too much, my, my* Paul : That poster... that was a good day for us? Julian : The best. *my heart's as cold as ice* Paul : I don't remember it. I'm sorry. Julian : It's okay. Paul : No, it's not. I'm proud of you, son. You go live your life and... Be happy. And whatever you do, don't be like me, okay? I'll see you. *the word that I breathe is a word that I need* *and the songs that I sing don't mean anything* *don't you wonder* *why it's always been this way?* *all our innocence is gone* AT THE BAR Nathan : What'd she say? Clay : That night after your big game against Memphis, we had that party. We got pretty wasted that night. Nathan : Yeah. So? Clay : Well, that was three months ago. *if you like, I'll take the blame* *for all the things that you have done* Clay : She's three months pregnant, Nate. *my songs* *on a cold night* *I can't get you out* ... AT BROOKE'S HOUSE Man : And where will you run... back to the life of a peasant harlot? Harlot : Perhaps I will. But should I return to a life of more meager means, I will do so with my dignity intact... Julian : She's good in this. You were right. Harlot : ... my heart pure and true. Brooke : What? I love you. You know that? I love who you are. I don't know how you got there, but I'm glad you did. Julian : I'm glad I did, too, 'cause you're here with me. Brooke : Meager means, indeed. Mmm. Come here. Man : Harlot! Leave the dress! Harlot : This dress is all I have. When I felt like I was nothing, It gave me strength and dignity. So, no matter what happens to me Or where my life takes me, I'll wear this dress, and I'll be fine. IN THE STREET Man : I read your book. Dan : Did it help? Man : It did when I sold it. AT SCOTT'S HOUSE Nathan : How you doing? Haley : Better now. I had such a crummy day. Nathan : Yeah? Haley : Uh-Huh. Nathan : Well, I think it's about to get worse. Haley : Why? Nathan : I have something I need to tell you. *my love* *is a young love* *but I know we'll get this right*

While in the process of recording her new album, Haley battles to protect Red Bedroom Records with the help of Mia. Brooke casts the new face of her clothing line, though her personality turns out to be what Brooke hadn't expected. Clay defends Nathan against a growing scandal. Julian and Brooke decide to move in together. Julian's father visits. Meanwhile, Dan unveils his new bride, Rachel Gatina. This episode is named after a song by Lucero .