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Стиптизер по кличке Сусанин заводит только поляков

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[{"ner":"Сусанин","lemma":"сусанин","label":"PER","start_pos":20,"end_pos":27}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

-В жопу дашь или мать продашь? -Мать продам, но я хз зачем вам труп 63-летней женщины

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/601?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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[{"ner":"63","lemma":"63","label":"NUM","start_pos":68,"end_pos":70}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Глaвврaч: — Прeмиaльныe будут выплaчивaть тoлькo зa пoстoянных пaциeнтoв. Пaтoлoгoaнaтoм: — Вo я пoпaл. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/448?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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POSITIVE

other

NOT SPAM

У адвоката обнаружили смертельную болезнь. Он умирает в больнице и вдруг просит медсестру принести библию. Медперсонал думает, что мужик перед смертью стал религиозным, что часто случается. Медсестра замечает, что адвокат с серьёзным выражением лица внимательно читает каждую строку, и спрашивает: — Что вы делаете? — Ищу лазейку.

https://t.me/anegdotofff/1003?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Доктор, у меня бессонница. - Господин Рабинович, а ви пробовали испытанное старинное средство - лечь в постель, закрыть глаза и считать баранов? - Пробовал. Я считаю баранов, потом гружу их в машину, везу в город и продаю, а остаток ночи таки мучаюсь - не продешевил ли? 😜

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4465?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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[{"ner":"Рабинович","lemma":"рабинович","label":"PER","start_pos":40,"end_pos":49}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Самолет с Брежневым разбился в тайге. КГБ прочесало лес вокруг и арестовали Лису и Медведя. На вопрос о том, что они видели и знают о происшедшем, Лиса заявила: - Ничего. Тогда допросили Медведя. Ответ тот же: - Ничего. Лиса: - В самом деле, милок? А кто целую неделю медалями срал?

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1256?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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[{"ner":"Брежневым","lemma":"брежнев","label":"PER","start_pos":10,"end_pos":19},{"ner":"КГБ","lemma":"кгб","label":"ORG","start_pos":38,"end_pos":41},{"ner":"Лису","lemma":"лиса","label":"PER","start_pos":76,"end_pos":80},{"ner":"Медведя","lemma":"медведь","label":"PER","start_pos":83,"end_pos":90},{"ner":"Лиса","lemma":"лиса","label":"PER","start_pos":147,"end_pos":151},{"ner":"Медведя","lemma":"медведь","label":"PER","start_pos":187,"end_pos":194}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

На охоте два охотника подстрелили утку и никак не могут поделить. Вдруг один другому говорит: - Слушай, давай друг-другу дадим по яйцам, кто быстрее встанет, того и утка. - Давай! Ну один как даст другому. Тот катался, катался по земле минут сорок, потом встал и говорит: - Ну ты даешь, я чуть не умер! Теперь давай я! А второй в ответ: - Да не надо, забирай утку. @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1080?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

У еврея разболелся живот. Он к врачу. А врач решил приколоться и сказал: "Э, да ты беременный". Еврей в панике: "Дайте самое сильное средство чтобы был выкидыш". Врач даёт ему слабительное. Пей, говорит, по одной таблетке в день. Ну еврей сразу горсть и выпил, чтобы наверняка. Идёт на измене по улице и тут прихватило, ну всё думает, рожаю. Оглядывается и видит открытый канализационный люк, присел над ним и сделал свое дело. А в люке сантехник, орет: "Ой, мамочка" и пытается вылезти весь в фекалиях. У еврея вообще крышу снесло, толкает его ногой обратно в люк и орет: "Оооой, таки нет у тебя мамы. Сирота ты, сирота!!!!!"

https://t.me/dimonster69/227?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/dimonster69

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[{"ner":"Еврей","lemma":"еврей","label":"PER","start_pos":96,"end_pos":101}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Когда сложно определиться с выбором покупки на Алиэкспресс, выбираю того продавца, у которого больше покупателей из Израиля.

https://t.me/evreii/113?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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[{"ner":"Алиэкспресс","lemma":"алиэкспресс","label":"LOC","start_pos":47,"end_pos":58},{"ner":"Израиля","lemma":"израиль","label":"LOC","start_pos":116,"end_pos":123}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пробежки по утрам, употребление безопасных продуктов питания и полный отказ от вредных привычек может существенно продлить ваше бессмысленное существование...

https://t.me/likeandsmile/174?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Если вам долго не звонят родственники или друзья, значит у них все хорошо.

https://t.me/likeandsmile/175?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Одна супружеская пара празднует 75-летие совместной жизни. Дед спрашивает бабку: — Слушай, старая, за 75 лет мы с тобой вырастили десять сыновей, почему все они похожи друг на друга, только первый отличается от всех? Ты что, изменила мне? — Знаешь, дед, грешила я на стороне... — Ну и кто же отец первого сына? — Ты

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/193?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Новый учитель, придя в класс, обнаружил, что одного мальчика дразнят. Мойше-дурачок. На перемене он спросил ребят, почему они его так обзывают. — Да он и вправду дурачок, господин учитель. Если дать ему большую монету в пять шекелей и маленькую в десять, он выберет пять, потому что думает, что она больше. Вот, смотрите… Парень достает две монеты и предлагает Мойше выбрать. Тот, как всегда, выбирает пять. Учитель с удивлением спращивает: — Почему же ты выбрал монету в пять шекелей, а не в десять? — Посмотрите, она же больше, господин учитель! После уроков учитель подошел к Мойше. — Неужели ты не понимаешь, что пять шекелей больше только по размерам, но на десять шекелей можно купить больше? — Конечно понимаю, господин учитель. — Так почему же ты выбираешь пять? — Потому что, если я выберу десять, они перестанут давать мне деньги!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/573?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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[{"ner":"Мойше","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":70,"end_pos":75},{"ner":"Мойше","lemma":"мойша","label":"PER","start_pos":361,"end_pos":366}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Идут по дороге белоснежка, дюймовочка и Нолан. Белоснежка говорит: — Вот я самая красивая — самая офигенная Дюймовочка говорит: — А я самая маленькая и самая прикольная Нолан говорит: — А я самый гениальный во всём мире Идут дальше, смотрят – дом, а на доме написано: "Зеркало правды". Заходит туда Белоснежка. Выходит — рыдает: – Я на самом деле не самая красивая — оказывается еще есть Спящая красавица! Заходит Дюймовочка. Выходит, тоже рыдает: – Я на самом деле не самая маленькая — оказывается есть еще мальчик-спальчик! Заходит Нолан – выходит злой как бык и орёт: - Кто такой Сарик Андреасян!?

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/596?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Михаил Боярский на уроках геометрии рисовал пара-пара-параболы Подписаться Подписаться Подписаться

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/598?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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[{"ner":"Михаил Боярский","lemma":"михаил боярский","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":15}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

-Вы готовы дети? -Да, капитан! -Я не слышу! -Так точно капитан! -Я не слышу! Этим капитаном был Бетховен

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/599?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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[{"ner":"Бетховен","lemma":"бетховен","label":"PER","start_pos":96,"end_pos":104}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Приходит блондинка устраиваться на работу. Собеседование: - А как у вас с компьютером? - Не люблю я компьютер: сидишь перед монитором, как дура... - Это почему же? - Да зрение у меня плохое: я курсор на экране не вижу. - А что, очки не помогают? - Да не люблю я очки: сидишь в очках, как дура... Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6163?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Зубной врач, перевязывая палец, выходит из кабинета и говорит матери мальчика: - Я ему только что поставил пломбу. Не позволяйте ему кусать никого другого, по крайней мере, еще полтора часа! Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6164?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Ольсен написал жене из Рима, где он был в командировке: "Когда я посетил Колизей, и при лунном свете созерцал эти древние руины, я вспомнил про тебя". Анекдоты и Шутки StandUp чат • истории

https://t.me/Stories100500/6165?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Stories100500

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[{"ner":"Ольсен","lemma":"ольсен","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":6},{"ner":"Рима","lemma":"рим","label":"LOC","start_pos":23,"end_pos":27},{"ner":"Колизей","lemma":"колизей","label":"LOC","start_pos":78,"end_pos":85}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Блондинка принесла фотографу портрет своего покойного мужа. — Вы можете его увеличить? — Конечно, мадам. — А можете убрать шляпу? — Безусловно. Вы должны только нам сказать, какая у него была прическа. — Зачем? Вы сами увидите, когда снимете с него шляпу. 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/444?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Дорогая! Я вот тут прочитал, что во время секса мужчина сжигает столько же калорий, как будто он пробежал 9 километров! — Да ты, прям, чемпион мира! 9 км за 2 минуты!! 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/445?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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[{"ner":"9","lemma":"9","label":"NUM","start_pos":106,"end_pos":107},{"ner":"9","lemma":"9","label":"NUM","start_pos":149,"end_pos":150},{"ner":"2","lemma":"2","label":"NUM","start_pos":157,"end_pos":158}]

POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Бaбушкa: — Oй, внучeк, сeгoдня прихoдил мoлoдoй чeлoвeк и тaк дoлгo мнe рaсскaзывaл, кaк нaс дурят в этих aптeкaх! Внук: — Ну и кaкoй ты прибoр у нeгo купилa? 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/446?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Муж приходит с работы домой, а жена ему говорит: — Не раздевайся! Иди, набей морду соседу! У мужа мгновенно налились кровью глаза. Выскакивает на лестничную площадку и звонит в дверь. Жена слышит громкие звуки мордобоя и нецензурной брани... Через несколько минут муж возвращается и, запыхавшись, спрашивает: — Ну, и за что я его избил? — За что, за что... Сижу целыми днями дома одна — скукотища! 🤣 Анекдоты тут

https://t.me/Tyt_Anekdot/447?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/Tyt_Anekdot

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Очень ленивая охотничья собака приносит охотнику извинения.

https://t.me/anegdotofff/1000?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Однажды один мужчина, решив, что его отец уже старый и является обузой, отвёз и сдал его в дом престарелых. Когда он вернулся, его маленький сын спросил: - Папа, а скажи мне, где находится дом престарелых? - Ты хочешь навещать дедушку? - спросил мужчина. - Нет, я хочу знать, куда отвезти тебя, когда ты станешь стареньким, - ответил малыш. Услышав это, у мужчины навернулись слёзы на глазах. Он сильно задумался, а потом, быстро взяв своего сына, поехал и сдал его в детдом.

https://t.me/anegdotofff/1001?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- В начале прошлого века от Испанки вымерло треть Европы. - А чем она болела?

https://t.me/anegdotofff/1002?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"Испанки","lemma":"испанка","label":"LOC","start_pos":28,"end_pos":35},{"ner":"Европы","lemma":"европа","label":"LOC","start_pos":50,"end_pos":56}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Висят три летучих мыши-вампира: французская, английская и чукотская. Французский вампир снялся с места, улетел и минут через 15 вернулся с кровью на губах. -Ага, -говорят приятели- кто это был? -Видите тот большой дом? -Там на этаже спит прекрасная девушка,я влетел в окно и выпил ее крови. Затем улетел англичанин, полетал и вернулся с кровью на морде. -Приятного аппетита, -говорят товарищи. -Где это ты побывал? -Видите ту конюшню? -Там стоит великолепная лошадь,кровь которой я выпил. Чукотский вампир захлопал крыльями и улетел. Через несколько минут возвращается весь в крови. -Ооо!-говорят вампиры. -Как тебе удалось? -Видите столб?-говорит чукотский вампир. -Видим. -А я не увидел.

https://t.me/anegdotofff/999?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anegdotofff

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[{"ner":"15","lemma":"15","label":"NUM","start_pos":125,"end_pos":127}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Встречаются два подкаблучника. Один другому: - Вчера свою на хрен послал! - Да ладно! Ни фига себе! Как это? - Да, прикинь, подходит такая: "Иди выкинь мусор!" - А ты? - А я ей: "Да пошла ты на хрен! Я еще не достирал…" 😄

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4461?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

— У меня прямо наполеоновские планы. — Хочешь новый бизнес открыть? — Нет, ложусь в психушку на обследование. 🤪

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4462?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сегодня ребенок удивил. — Я знаю почему у нас денег нет. У нас чайник каждый день дома свистит. 👌

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4463?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Если сказать мужу неправду, можно потерять его доверие, но если честно признаться и сказать правду, то можно потерять мужа. 👍

https://t.me/anekdot_m_zh/4464?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdot_m_zh

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пьянка в Эфиопии: двое пьют, третьим закусывают

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1253?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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[{"ner":"Эфиопии","lemma":"эфиопия","label":"LOC","start_pos":9,"end_pos":16}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

#классика

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1254?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Муж с женой занимаются контрабандой животных. Собираются переправляться через границу. Муж говорит жене: — Значит так, змей положишь в шляпу, черепах в лифчик засунешь, а скунса в трусы. Жена: — А как же запах? Муж: — Ну сдохнет, так сдохнет.

https://t.me/anekdotyUrovenB/1255?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdotyUrovenB

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Идет экзамен типа тест с вопросами, на которые надо отвечать да или нет. Один из студентов подбрасывает монетку и записывает результаты. Препод думает: Ну, этот первым закончит. Экзамен закончился, остальные студенты уже написали и ушли, а этот все сидит и монетку подбрасывает. Преподу это надоело, он подходит и спрашивает: — Ну что, ответил на вопросы? — Да. — А чего тогда делаешь? — Проверяю. Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/356?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":410,"end_pos":418}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Оператор поддержки. Слушаю Вас. - Я икаю. - Перевожу на Федота. Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/357?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Федота","lemma":"федот","label":"LOC","start_pos":58,"end_pos":64},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":78,"end_pos":86}]

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Срeдниe вeкa. Пo дoрoгe идeт свящeнник - тoргoвeц индульгeнциями. K нeму пoдъeзжaeт нa кoнe бoгaтo oдeтый рыцaрь. — Слушaй, oтпусти мнe грeх, прoсит рыцaрь. — Дeсять зoлoтых мoнeт, — нeвoзмутимo прoизнoсит свящeнник. — Нo этo тяжкий грeх! — гoвoрит рыцaрь. — Двaдцaть мoнeт, — тут жe oтвeчaeт свящeнник. — Нo мнe этoт грeх тoлькo прeдстoит сoвeршить! — вздыхaeт рыцaрь. — Пятьдeсят мoнeт, — пoпрaвляeтся свящeнник. Рыцaрь oтсчитывaeт дeньги, свящeнник прячeт их в сумку, выдaeт зaпись oб oтпущeнии грeхa, a пoтoм спрaшивaeт: — Сын мoй, a чтo жe этo зa грeх тaкoй, зa кoтoрый ты гoтoв вылoжить пятьдeсят зoлoтых мoнeт? — Oгрaблeниe тoргoвцa индульгeнциями! Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/358?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"жe","lemma":"жe","label":"PER","start_pos":281,"end_pos":283},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":668,"end_pos":676}]

POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Корова лезет на дерево. Ворона ей: - Корова, ты чего это на дерево лезешь? - Яблок хочу поесть. - Так это же елка! - А у меня с собой... Анекдоты от Потапыча. Подписаться

https://t.me/anekdoty_potapych/359?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_potapych

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[{"ner":"Корова","lemma":"корова","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":6},{"ner":"Потапыча","lemma":"потапыча","label":"LOC","start_pos":149,"end_pos":157}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В баре за стойкой мужчина в ОЗК смешивал в колбе ядохимикаты. "Новичок!" - подумал Штирлиц.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/63?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"ОЗК","lemma":"озк","label":"ORG","start_pos":28,"end_pos":31},{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":83,"end_pos":90}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В дверь кто-то вежливо постучал ногой. - Безруков! - догадался Штирлиц.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/64?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":63,"end_pos":70}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Штирлиц оглянулся: хвоста не было. "Оторвался", - подумал Штирлиц.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/65?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":7},{"ner":"Штирлиц","lemma":"штирлиц","label":"PER","start_pos":58,"end_pos":65}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В Израиле ортодоксальные евреи начали использовать искусственный интеллект для обхода технических ограничений во время Шаббата. Через месяц искусственный интеллект обнаружил, что он еврей по материнской линии и перестал работать.

https://t.me/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa/66?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdoty_pro_shtirlitsa

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[{"ner":"Израиле","lemma":"израиль","label":"LOC","start_pos":2,"end_pos":9},{"ner":"Шаббата","lemma":"шаббата","label":"PER","start_pos":119,"end_pos":126}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Дочка (6 лет) говорит мне: - Мама, а я всегда буду с тобой и с папой жить? Я: - Ну вырастешь, выйдешь замуж, будешь жить с мужем. Дочка: - Сначала родят, а потом замуж выгоняют! Вы для кого меня рожали, для мужа или для себя?

https://t.me/anekdronti/338?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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[{"ner":"6","lemma":"6","label":"NUM","start_pos":7,"end_pos":8}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Дед в автобусе обращается к молодому пассажиру: - Сынок, как тебе не стыдно, уступи место вон той бабушке! - Это моя тёща. - Так отдай ей мешок с картошкой, не держи его на коленях, тебе же неудобно!

https://t.me/anekdronti/339?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Девочка покупает попугая, а он один в магазине. — Почему его не берут? — А он в публичном доме жил. — Ладно, берём! Дома девочка сняла с него накидку. Попугай: — О! Смотрю, у нас шлюхи новые! Забегает жена. — Ни хуя себе! И мамка поменялась!! На мат прибегает отец. — Опачки! Здорово, Серёга!

https://t.me/anekdronti/340?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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[{"ner":"Серёга","lemma":"серёга","label":"LOC","start_pos":285,"end_pos":291}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Встречаются двое новых русских. Один другому: - Слушай, пристрой моего сына на работу. - Ок! Пусть приходит один раз в месяц и получает 5000$. - Не, так не пойдет... - 5 раз в месяц и 1000$! - Нет, он должен работать 24 часа в сутки и получать 200$. - Так не могу, - для этого у него должно быть высшее образование!

https://t.me/anekdronti/341?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/anekdronti

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

На охоте два охотника подстрелили утку и никак не могут поделить. Вдруг один другому говорит: - Слушай, давай друг-другу дадим по яйцам, кто быстрее встанет, того и утка. - Давай! Ну один как даст другому. Тот катался, катался по земле минут сорок, потом встал и говорит: - Ну ты даешь, я чуть не умер! Теперь давай я! А второй в ответ: - Да не надо, забирай утку. @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1077?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Летит самолет. Стюардесса выходит в салон и говорит пассажирам: - Уважаемые пассажиры, достаньте, пожалуйста, ваши паспорта! Достали. - А теперь вырвите, пожалуйста, из паспорта, первую страницу. Все вырвали. - Уважаемые пассажиры, сложите теперь, листик вчетверо. Все сложили. - А теперь засуньте его себе в жопу. Все засунули, а один, самый грамотный, начал возмущаться, мол, что за фигня такая, это противоречит нормам международного права и т.д. А стюардесса отвечает: - Да, я вас понимаю, но, видите ли, наш самолет терпит аварию, а потом с трупами такая неразбериха! @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1078?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Делятся впечатлениями о медовом месяце 3 подруги: Первая — я своему сказала: — убирать в доме не буду. День не вижу, два не вижу, на третий день приносит пылесос навороченый, в итоге сам теперь и убирается) Вторая — я своему сказала — готовить не буду. День не вижу, два не вижу, на третий день приносит кухонный комбайн, новые технологии и навороты, так тоже теперь сам всё готовит) — а я своему сказала: — них@я делать не буду, ни стирать, ни убирать, ни готовить. День не вижу, два не вижу, на третий день правым глазом стала немного видеть... @batin_mood

https://t.me/batin_mood/1079?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/batin_mood

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[{"ner":"3","lemma":"3","label":"NUM","start_pos":39,"end_pos":40}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Шоколадные батончики, мармелад, мороженое, торты, карамель, а, может, просто клюква в сахаре? Что из сладкого ты любишь, что ненавидишь? 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡 🔡

https://t.me/bunnybayki/3142?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/bunnybayki

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Моня, помнишь, когда тебе было плохо, я сварила тебе суп? - Нет, Рая, ты сначала сварила суп, а потом мне было плохо!

https://t.me/evreii/111?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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[{"ner":"Рая","lemma":"рая","label":"PER","start_pos":67,"end_pos":70}]

NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

- Изя, два миллиона ливанцев вышли на протест против коррупции. Как ты думаешь, возможно такое в России? - Сёма, подумай сам, ну откуда в России два миллиона ливанцев?

https://t.me/evreii/112?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/evreii

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[{"ner":"России","lemma":"россия","label":"LOC","start_pos":97,"end_pos":103},{"ner":"России","lemma":"россия","label":"LOC","start_pos":139,"end_pos":145}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Интересно быть женщиной. Побудешь на кухне на полчаса дольше, чем обычно и сразу замуж хочется, детей нарожать, воспитывать, мужа ублажать. А потом выпила пивка и все…попустило!!!

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/889?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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POSITIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Жена пишет своему мужу СМС—ку: — Не успеваю с работы заскочить в магазин. Купи курицу к ужину. Через некоторое время ей на телефон приходит СМС от мужа: — Целую. Жена в шоке — 8 лет в браке, страсть уже прошла, а тут «целует» — какие слова. Пишет ему ответ: — Милый, очень тебя люблю, тоже нежно целую и т.п. Он: — Дура, блин, курицу спрашиваю целую брать или окорочок?

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/890?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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[{"ner":"Целую","lemma":"целый","label":"PER","start_pos":155,"end_pos":160},{"ner":"Милый","lemma":"милый","label":"LOC","start_pos":260,"end_pos":265},{"ner":"Дура","lemma":"дура","label":"PER","start_pos":315,"end_pos":319},{"ner":"8","lemma":"8","label":"NUM","start_pos":176,"end_pos":177}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Ночь. Мужа дома нет, жена в истерике. Вдруг, звонок в дверь, жена открывает, а там муж — с улыбкой, цветами и тортиком. — Дорогой, что это с тобой? Это мне? — Тебе, дорогая, тебе. Пошли в спальню? — Так, сразу? Ты давай чайку, с тортиком, а я пока цветы поставлю. — Потом, все потом! Пошли в спальню! — Дорогой, ну… — Пошли уже, ну! — Ну не могу я, понимаешь, у меня критические дни! — Да вы что все, сговорились что—ли?!

https://t.me/fhjoiyfs/891?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/fhjoiyfs

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

- Почем эти ромашки? - 20. - А эти? - 300. - А почему такая разница?! - Эти - "любит".

https://t.me/likeandsmile/171?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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[{"ner":"20","lemma":"20","label":"NUM","start_pos":23,"end_pos":25},{"ner":"300","lemma":"300","label":"NUM","start_pos":38,"end_pos":41}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

В магазине две кошатницы выбирают москитную сетку: — Порвут! — Да не порвут! — Я тебе говорю — порвут! Продавщица: — Да что ж у вас там за комары-то?

https://t.me/likeandsmile/172?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Хлеб — продукт, пользующийся спросом. Рецептура достаточно проста: мука, вода, дрожжи, сахар... Хотя, если не добавлять муку, получится продукт, пользующийся ещё большим спросом...

https://t.me/likeandsmile/173?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/likeandsmile

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Пришел на работу с нарисованными усами Девушки с нарисованными бровями сказали что я дурак

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/190?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Сидит мужик в ресторане. Забегает другой мужик и кричит: — Лёх, там твою жену ебут! Мужик вскакивает, выбегает из ресторана и в этот момент его сбивает машина. Просыпается он в больнице и думает: "Вот нервный стал, ведь не Лёха я, да и не женат"

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/191?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

— Доктор, у меня не стоит. — А кого ты тут ебать-то собрался?

https://t.me/schrodingerandcat/192?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/schrodingerandcat

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NEGATIVE

rus

NOT SPAM

Мальчик спрашивает у мамы: - Мам, что такое флирт? - Вот, сынок, к твоей сестре вечером её ухажёр придёт. Ты понаблюдай за ними и узнаешь. На следующий день: - Ну как, сынок, узнал, что такое флирт? Рассказывай. - Да они вечером, как встретились, посидели полчаса, разговаривая. Потом у сестры, видимо, что-то случилось с сердцем, её ухажёр задрал её кофточку и начал трогать её грудь. Наверное, у неё был жар, так как он её сразу же после этого раздел. Но болезнь оказалась заразной, так как он и сам быстро разделся. Потом они обнялись и начали делать друг другу искусственное дыхание, это, видимо, выгнало змею из ухажёра, потому что она появилась у него между ног. Они вдвоём начали её давить, зажав между собой. Били очень сильно и часто. Кажется, как будто убили. Утомившись, они полежали немного, но змея опять выскочила. Сестра схватила ротом и начала её жевать и кусать. Змея упала. На этот раз точно – насмерть, так как потом ухажёр снял с неё шкурку и выкинул в унитаз. Раздался грохот от тела, упавшего в обморок, мамы. @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2316?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Приходим сегодня на собрание. Все уже на месте, сидим, ждем Палыча (нашего дорогого капитана). Он заходит... — Черт возьми! Кто вчера в оперативной группе дежурил?! — Что случилось? В чем дело? Смотрю, Палыч окончательно злится: — Кто вчера в оперативной группе дежурил?! Встает Кудряш: — Я, товарищ капитан. Палыч: — Ты на вызов ездил?! Кудряш: — Так точно, товарищ капитан. Палыч: — Покойника забирал?! Кудряш: — Забирал... (смотрю, Кудряш становится задумчивым) Палыч (с надрывом в голосе): — НУ?! Кудряш: — Николай Павлович, ну я ее, это… в морг отвез, там сторож один был, мне ее пришлось самому затаскивать. (Сторожа в нашем приюте по обыкновению пьяные). Палыч: — Ты дальше рассказывай, лейтенант. Кудряш: — Ну в морге мест не было... А она, ведь, старая, не мог же я ее на пол бросить… Ну я ее на стул посадил около сторожа, а она сползает… я веревкой ее и привязал, в одну руку ей паспорт положил, в другую постановление на вскрытие… К моменту, когда Кудряш закончил, все уже начали смеяться. Палыч: — Мало того, что сторож ей всю ночь анекдоты рассказывал, так с утра пришла уборщица, тоже бабка, кстати… попросила твою бабку, чтобы она ноги подняла, бабка молчит... Уборщица подумала, что бабка заснула и толкнула ее ноги шваброй, когда уборщица поняла, что бабка умерла, то она сразу потеряла сознание и, падая, зацепила документы, которые аккурат упали на уборщицу... Санитары, думая, что уборщица и есть покойник, так как документы лежали на ней, погрузили ее на каталку и отвезли на вскрытие, где ее раздели и положили на стол для вскрытия. В это время пришли студенты первого курса с медучилища, присутствовать при вскрытии, окружили уборщицу, и преподаватель, собираясь сделать первый надрез, повернул уборщице голову, в этот момент она открыла глаза и очнулась. В обморок упали все, даже преподаватель... После этих слов началась просто истерика, меня аж слеза со смеху прошибла… Вот такая у нас веселая работа. @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2317?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"Палыча","lemma":"павлович","label":"LOC","start_pos":60,"end_pos":66},{"ner":"Смотрю","lemma":"смотреть","label":"PER","start_pos":194,"end_pos":200},{"ner":"Палыч","lemma":"павлович","label":"PER","start_pos":202,"end_pos":207},{"ner":"Кудряш","lemma":"кудряш","label":"PER","start_pos":279,"end_pos":285},{"ner":"Покойника","lemma":"покойник","label":"PER","start_pos":385,"end_pos":394},{"ner":"Кудряш","lemma":"кудряш","label":"PER","start_pos":405,"end_pos":411},{"ner":"Николай Павлович","lemma":"николай павлович","label":"PER","start_pos":511,"end_pos":527},{"ner":"Кудряш","lemma":"кудряш","label":"PER","start_pos":705,"end_pos":711}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Мужик с потрясной девушкой заходят в один из самых дорогих меховых магазинов на Беверли Хиллс. Покажите даме вашу самую дорогую норковую шубу, — говорит мужик продавцу. Тот приносит на всю длину прекрасную шубу из подстриженой норки. Девушка ее надевает. - Кайф. - Эта шуба стоит 85 тысяч долларов,- говорит продавец. - Никаких проблем! Я выпишу сейчас чек. - Очень хорошо. Сегодня суббота. Вы можете забрать шубу в понедельник, после того, как чек будет подтвержден в банке. Мужик с телкой ушли. В понедельник он снова появляется в магазине. Увидев его, продавец вспыхнул: - Как вам не стыдно появляться здесь?!! На вашем счету ничего нет!! - Я лишь зашел поблагодарить вас за один из лучших уикэндов в моей жизни. @shutkaru

https://t.me/shutkaru/2318?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/shutkaru

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[{"ner":"Беверли Хиллс","lemma":"беверли хиллс","label":"PER","start_pos":80,"end_pos":93},{"ner":"85","lemma":"85","label":"NUM","start_pos":280,"end_pos":282}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Жил-был человек. Он перекинул мост через речку и брал рубль с желающих перейти на другую сторону. Люди не любили этого человека, даже не здоровались с ним. Когда он умирал, сын спросил его о последнем желании. — Я был не добр к людям. Меня не любили при жизни. Хотел бы чтобы после смерти меня вспоминали добрым словом. — Хорошо, — ответил сын — я выполню твое желание! После смерти родителя, сын поднял цену на переход моста до 3 руб. — Вот негодяй, — говорили сельчане, — а отец-то его был хорошим человеком. Всего рубль просил. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6511?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":549,"end_pos":553},{"ner":"3","lemma":"3","label":"NUM","start_pos":429,"end_pos":430}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Рыба благотворно влияет на кору головного мозга. Поэтому придуркам иногда нужно давать леща. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6512?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":110,"end_pos":114}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Судят сантехника. — Почему Вы ударили художника молотком? — Во-первых — он нарисовал на моём заборе член. Художник: — Это не член — это объект искусства. Я художник, я так вижу. Сантехник: — Во-вторых — молоток был детский, игрушечный, пластмассовый. — А в протоколе полиции указано, что молоток был настоящий, железный. — Я сантехник, я так вижу. Анекдоты от дяди Миши 😂

https://t.me/smeh_76/6513?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smeh_76

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[{"ner":"Миши","lemma":"миша","label":"PER","start_pos":366,"end_pos":370}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Милая, давай займемся сексом? - Сын не спит. - Да нет,он спит. - Да нет-же, ну смотри: - сынок, принеси пожалуйста водички. (Тишина) - Ну, давай. Дикий секс, бурный оргазм, оба откинулись в экстазе и вдруг голос из темноты: - И долго я буду с кружкой воды тут стоять?

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/569?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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[{"ner":"Тишина","lemma":"тишина","label":"LOC","start_pos":127,"end_pos":133}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Если вдруг стало грустно, то подумайте про осьминога. У него и ноги от ушей, и руки из жопы, и ж@па с ушами, и голова в жопе, и ничего, не жалуется.

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/570?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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[{"ner":"жопы","lemma":"жопа","label":"LOC","start_pos":87,"end_pos":91}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Вовочка приходит к маме и говорит: - Мама, я каждую ночь просыпаюсь от какого-то шума в вашей спальне. Я сегодня посмотрел и увидел, что это ты прыгаешь на папе вверх и вниз. - Да... ну... понимаешь, у папы очень толстый живот, а я хочу, чтобы он был потоньше, и утрамбовываю его... - Ничего у тебя не получится, - заявляет Вовочка. - Почему? - Потому что каждое утро, после того, как ты уходишь на работу, приходит наша соседка, и снова его надувает.

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/571?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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[{"ner":"Вовочка","lemma":"вовочка","label":"PER","start_pos":0,"end_pos":7}]

NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

- Почему мужчина открывает и закрывает женщине дверь в машине? Скажете, он джентльмен? Пф-ф-ф... Ага... Чтоб дверью не хлопала!

https://t.me/smehaha_tg/572?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/smehaha_tg

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Как отнесётесь к нерегулярным постам?

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/593?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR

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NEUTRAL

rus

NOT SPAM

Моя девушка спросила, почему я хожу по дому с пистолетом. Я сурово посмотрел на неё и сказал: "Е * а н ы й героин ." Она засмеялась. Я засмеялся. Кружка кофе засмеялась. Я застрелился

https://t.me/SMESHINKAR/594?embed=1&mode=tme

https://t.me/

https://t.me/s/SMESHINKAR