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I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\\\\\, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser). My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for \months\. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally destroyed and thinking terrible things about myselfmy character for days. Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it. I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway & give it to him. He said it was "unfair" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP. I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a "piece of c\\\" and it can't do "what he needs to do" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't need to play. He said my use of the word "need" (that he didn't NEED to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement "out of context" and was trying to "insult" him. He said that I was a "liar" for "twisting his words around" - that saying you don't need to play video games is "judgemental and manipulative". I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that I paid for with my money. This is when he COMPLETELY lost it. Suddenly, because I brought "money" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a "financial abuser", wielding "power, money, and status" to manipulate &control him, being a "slithering slimy snake". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a "sociopathic"evil way. I was called a c\\\, judgemental w\\\\, and that my actions come "straight out of the book of psychopathy". He said that I had intentionally hurtinsult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he "WANTED to HURT me with words and insults". He said that unless I can "admit" to being a "disgusting manipulative a\\\\\\", then we are "OVER". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a "liar". So in other words, my only choices were to be a "liar" or an "a\\\\\\". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said "this isn't over". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space. I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the "bad guy". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problemstoxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathysociopathyfinancial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming "more aware" of my "toxicity" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me. The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about "being a narcissist", and to that, he responded that I have a "weak sense of identity", am "overly sensitive", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was "normal", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the "pathological one" for not "letting go of the fight". TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are "toxic" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissistsociopathall sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am so confused and hurt right now. My boyfriend and I just got in the nastiest fight which elevated to him saying terrible things about my character (many curse words and degrading comments, he called me an a\\\\\, sociopath, narcissist, psychopath, and abuser). My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 yr. He recently had to quit law school due to worsening health problems. I have chronic health issues too, and we are both partially disabled. Since then, he's taken up an extremely bad habit of gaming 7-12 hours a day and is in a terrible deep depression. He's been doing this for \months\. I love him, he's nice to me most of the time, but this drives me crazy. Most often, we are sweet and kind to each other, having a nice time, but once a month (or so), he burts angry explosive insults at me that leave me emotionally destroyed and thinking terrible things about myselfmy character for days. Most recent fight: I don't have a lot of money but I bought an expensive ($1800) computer to edit videos (which I'm not doing much anymore). I let him use it 95% of the time (since his old computer broke) for the past 6 months. Occasionally, I want to use it to watch movies or TV shows because my old computer sucks and has no memory. I only use the new comp a few hours per week; every other waking hour of the day, every day, he's on it. I used my new comp to watch a TV show to decompress after working on a research proposal when he was asleep. Within 5 minutes of him waking up, he asked for my computer so he could play games. I was on the season finale and wanted to finish. He wanted me to quit midway & give it to him. He said it was "unfair" of me to give it to him since I'd used it for several hours (when he was sleeping). I said that it was ridiculous that he was tallying time I used MY computer when HE was ASLEEP. I suggested he do something else for 30 minutes while I finish the season finale, and offered to let him use my old computer to do whatever. He said my old computer is a "piece of c\\\" and it can't do "what he needs to do" (play games). I pointed out that he didn't need to play. He said my use of the word "need" (that he didn't NEED to play games) was manipulative +disgusting because I took this statement "out of context" and was trying to "insult" him. He said that I was a "liar" for "twisting his words around" - that saying you don't need to play video games is "judgemental and manipulative". I said it's unfair that I never get to use the computer that I paid for with my money. This is when he COMPLETELY lost it. Suddenly, because I brought "money" into the equation (only in the context of my computer, nothing else), he started yelling and screaming at me, hurling every insult he could think of: a "financial abuser", wielding "power, money, and status" to manipulate &control him, being a "slithering slimy snake". He said it was DISGUSTING of me to mention money, and I was using resources and privilege to abuse him in a "sociopathic"evil way. I was called a c\\\, judgemental w\\\\, and that my actions come "straight out of the book of psychopathy". He said that I had intentionally hurtinsult him (I truly didn't intend to, I was stating what I thought was objective fact), and because of that, he admitted that he "WANTED to HURT me with words and insults". He said that unless I can "admit" to being a "disgusting manipulative a\\\\\\", then we are "OVER". If I didn't admit to it, then I was a "liar". So in other words, my only choices were to be a "liar" or an "a\\\\\\". Pinned into a corner, forced to admit to something I don't think I did. When I told him to stop fighting, that I cool down and stop verbally attacking me, he said "this isn't over". I told him I had a headache and went into the other room and he followed me, yelling at me, getting in my space. I am now feeling extremely upset and wondering if I'm the "bad guy". He spent HOURS trying to convince me that I'm a psychological abuser, narcissist, liar, sociopath, and that I have MAJOR character problemstoxicity.. I'm starting to wonder if that's true. I've gone as far as watching youtube videos on psychopathysociopathyfinancial abuse, trying to figure out if somehow he's right and I have been incredibly abusive somehow but completely unaware of my actions. I even offered to go to therapy to work on becoming "more aware" of my "toxicity" since I apparently am not understanding it. Right now, I'm 50% convinced that I'm a covert narcissist without ever knowing it. This is devastating to me. Because he attacks me like this so often, I've started recording our conversations and have been listening to them again trying to understand where I went wrong or how I lied. It's utterly confusing because in the recordings, I don't see what I did wrong, all I hear is him attacking me. The next day, he apologized and said he didn't mean what he said (even though during the argument he said he meant it). But, he DOES still think I was a jerk for bringing up money. I told him that I am now extremely concerned about "being a narcissist", and to that, he responded that I have a "weak sense of identity", am "overly sensitive", and should stop bringing up water under the bridge. As far as he's concerned, that was "normal", he acts like nothing happened, and I AM the "pathological one" for not "letting go of the fight". TL;DR: I am very concerned that I'm a covert narcissist without realizing it or that I'm toxic, as my boyfriend says many times during our fights. I don't understand how my behavior or comments are "toxic" but if I say one thing wrong that triggers him, he flips this anger switch and starts attacking me and assaulting my character, calling me a narcissistsociopathall sorts of terrible curse words. I'm confused beyond words and concerned that I've been a narcissist without realizing it. My head is spinning. Please help me understand what's going on. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce. I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time. What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future? There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all. Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them? | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> updating to let you all know that I’ve made the decision to file for divorce. I truly believe it is the right thing and I just pray for strength during this terrible time. What if the physical abuse only happened a handful of times throughout our 10 year marriage (spaced years apart), what if there were never any serious injuries (i know there could have been), what if the rest of the time they were generally kind and supportive (they def have a temper but not aimed toward me usually), what if they are repentant and sober now...it’s been a couple months of us being apart, I know it must be longer but am I crazy for considering trying again in the future? There were a lot of other issues but none that would have caused me to really walk away now the easiest thing honestly seems to walk away for good and the truth is I know I don’t NEED them, in many ways I don’t even WANT them (can’t imagine being affectionate with them)...BUT the pull of my kiddos wanting them back, the kindness and sadness radiating from them every time we interact for kids, their declarations of love, the certainty that surely they wouldn’t let this happen ever again, the lure of not having to do it on my own it all feels like the right answer isn’t to walk away for good after all. Has anyone ever successfully reconciled (no repeat abuse) and if so how long was separation, how much therapy, were you able to truly forgive and not hold it against them? [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I need to go to another court date. His lawyer pushed the date. He’s not guilty. Why is he pleading not guilty? This makes me angry and upset! And the court does not want to push the charges. I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life. | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I need to go to another court date. His lawyer pushed the date. He’s not guilty. Why is he pleading not guilty? This makes me angry and upset! And the court does not want to push the charges. I dont wanna see him, I dont wanna go I want this to be over and done with, I wanna move on in my life. [/INST] Legal </s> |
So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me. that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing. I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace... Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So my partner of almost 5 yrs got arrested last week for domestic violence towards me and my sister and a few other charges. To make the long story short, I've been with him since high school and have noticed signs of mental illnesses and whatnot. I've narrowed it down to narcissistic, borderline personality disorder, and possibly bipolar disorder. His dad has anger management issues, his mom is diagnosed with bipolar and he has always had anger issues as well. He was often mad and would yell at me for the littlest of things such as if we are playing a game together and I accidentally died (I suck at games but we play together because I know he likes it) he would yell and I call me names, insults me and whatnot. when we moved in together in college, he got physical. he would punch me and hit me and thrown me around like a rag doll. I remember him grabbing my head and slamming it into the fridge in our apartment and the first time he punched me till I bleed in my nose. I wanted to leave at the time but I was scared. Then he stopped, told me he'd never hit me again because he found God. Now, I am religious, not in the best way but I believe in God. So when he told me he found God and decided to be better, I thought maybe this will be our turning point. he was the best for a few weeks, then we started fighting again. he would yell and scream and call me by names and insults. I never said anything because to him it's defiant towards him because he is the man of the household. he eventually quits his job and I was left to support us and my 3 huskies. we moved to a different place because his best friend was supposed to be living with us but they fell off before our move-in date so he never signed the lease. then he would often bring up the idea of a 3 person relationship. this has always been a subject throughout our relationship. it has never been an official thing. he hooked up with my roommate his first year of college, then told me he wasn't gonna do it again. it was completely official when my sister got involved. I told him that it was okay because in my mind it's the least I can do for him because he has done so much for me. that's when his discipline method got worst. before my sister, he wasn't hitting me anymore but it was more of him choking me out till I submit to him and he'll sit on me till I gave in. but when my sister started to live with us he started to do more. he'll tell her that I'm being possessed by an evil spirit and would tell her to go and choke me and he would join and they would choke me out till I peed my pants or till I was out completely, then he would stand on my chest and jump. he would tell me to go choke her if she ever defies him. If I don't do it he would do that to me only worst. he was always favoring her and give her the lighter discipline and make it a horrific experience for me. Another disciplinary action would be he would put our hands in hot water, and or dunk our heads in cold water till we can't breathe anymore. towards the end, I was mortified every time he would raise his voice or if he even said that I'm defying him. my sister finally broke one night after he told her to leave the house she left and called my mom. from there they got the cops involved and he was arrested later that afternoon. I had wished that I would have a breaking point as my sister does. but I wanted him to get better, I want him to feel better to cope better with his problems. I love him I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't know how to feel right now because I know what he did was wrong and that it should never have happened. but towards the end he was such a gentleman towards me, he was sweet, I got to see what he was like back in high school again and I really miss him. I really think that our relationship is going to get better. but I also know that if he ever comes back what he did to me will come back and it's never gonna change. I don't know what to do now because his mom keeps texting me updating the status of his case and what she wants to do. she keeps asking me questions about him that make me worry about him and it makes me want to bail him out because I have the money to. but I also know that I'm going to put myself and my sister in danger if he gets out. I don't know what to do or what to think because I miss him and I miss being with him. my dogs remind me of him, my place reminds me of him everything I come home to reminds me of him and I'm just a sad mess. my mom has been really supportive but I don't know if I'll ever come out of this mess. he has made me feel worthless, he made me feel like I'm nothing but a piece of shit good for nothing. I'm sorry for the long post. I don't normally put my life on the internet like this but I'm stuck and lost and I don't know where else to turn. I don't expect anyone to have read this far but if you have, thank you for reading about me complaining about my life I appreciate it, I just want to be at peace... Edit: he had previously mentioned to me that he wanted me dead. That he wanted to kill me. Then go back when he's happy and say those are things he said while he's angry [/INST] Legal </s> |
Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 2627 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi all I've never done this before. I'm really looking for some advice. I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years. I'm 27 he's 36. I was very younge when I met him and he was amazing and I quickly fell in love with him and him me. About a year into the relationship we had a argument (can't remember what about) he was trying to get me out of his flat but I refused as I wanted to sort things out. He then pinned me up against the wall and strangled me. After he calmed down he was very sorry and I accepted the apology and he said he would never do that again. 7 years later I can sadly say that simular situations during arguments have happened at least another 6 times over the years most recently in the Autumn so a few months back now. Hes strangled me almost every time, pinned me up against the wall and has slapped me plus all of the awful names I am called ( bitch, hoe, retard) I never fight back or swear I just about raise my voice. I've always known that this is bad and not normal however I think over the years I have become very good at ignoring and blanking out the truth. Since turning 2627 I've been doing alot of research on domestic violence and have accepted that I am a victim. I wouldn't say that I am your typical victim as most of the time our relationship is amazing and full of fun. However there has been times (roughly once or twice a year) when he's particularly stressed and when an argument breaks out he has become violent. As of recent I've addressed these issues with him and told him that what's he's been doing isn't normal and that I am not to blame for his out bursts. I've told him if it happens one more time then we are done for good. He's extreamly sorry and realises that he's been a monster to me at times. Does anyone here been in a similar situation as me? And can things actually change or am I just wasting my time? Thank you all xx [/INST] Communication </s> |
I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why. My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I did everything right. I reported my abuser almost every time he hurt me. Everyone always asks why victims don’t report their abuser. This is why. My husband is now facing prison time with 2 felonies and a misdemeanor. I should be happy right? I’m free of him? What people don’t see is that now I am alone to take care of a newborn baby. I can’t do this alone. I lock myself in the bathroom every night while he cries himself to sleep. And what about the financial aspect? I can’t support myself and my child. I have resorted to selling pics and videos and basically prostituting myself out to have money for rent. I feel so alone. My friends and family are gone, my abuser pushed them away long ago. It’s just me and my baby. There’s so much more than just reporting someone and thinking your problems will just go away. Please if anyone has any advice or maybe has been here before. I’m hurting. Contemplating adoption. I just want to disappear. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in. TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship? I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things. My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family. He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past. I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad... I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this. (In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day. I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance) | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don’t know if this is also abuse, but Reddit recommended to post this here instead of another sub I posted this in. TL;DR how could someone escape from a very controlling relationship? I (F25) am in a relationship with my bf (M28) for nearly 8 years right now. A lot of stuff has happened between us. Very beautiful and good things but also horrible and terrifying things. My bf is very controlling and basically decides how I live my life. I have no friends anymore and no contact with my family. He tracks everything I do and controls who I talk to and who I meet up with. Which is almost no one nowadays because of his behavior in the past. I really really love him, he is honestly the best person I know when he is in a good or okayish mood. But when his mood gets bad, it gets really bad... I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t want to lose him but I also don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel trapped and there is no one I can talk to about this. (In the past I’ve tried to break up with him and been in a women’s shelter for a few months. I felt really safe there but my bf found me through his connections and started threatening me and my 2 supervisors from that place. I had to go back to him. The controlling behavior only got worse after that and is still happening to this day. I don’t trust police either, because in the past I had really bad experience with them. They tried to break up my relationship, pressured me to choose between my bf and my family and own life, said they would be there for me but just used me to catch my bf... that’s not a way for me anymore. I really gave it a chance) [/INST] Communication </s> |
If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> If anybody has experienced narcissist abuse rage in marriage how did you how hold your self together TIL you were able to break free? IM broken down inside the things that have happened are unspeakable ..we own a business together too..im in therapy Any body been in my place? To help clarifly my situation I have a disability as well. [/INST] Communication </s> |
So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. | Childbearing | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So I’m 36 weeks pregnant. The father of my baby and I do not get a long because I won’t have sex with him. He told me he should have forced sex with me the last time I was with him and I made him stop. Every time I don’t have sex with him he becomes verbally abusive. And I can’t even see him without him touching me after I said no. It’s getting to the point where I don’t even wanna share custody of my unborn daughter with him. Because he makes me feel intimidated and uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do. [/INST] Childbearing </s> |
I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability. I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don't know what to do anymore. The abuse is getting so bad. I have a medical condition to the point that I can't work anymore and I got denied disability. I have no money and no where to go. Shelters apparently can't accommodate my medical needs. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Last night things finally came to a head. My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline). He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”. Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me. He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free. He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that. I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone. But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone. He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away. I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called. Thank god for her this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last. I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again. I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order. I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter. I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away? I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Last night things finally came to a head. My husband, when he wants to argue will take away my cell phone or any lines of communication I have (he will go so far as to disconnect our landline). He also likes to call my friends and tell them I’m “acting crazy”. Last night he physically abused me again...he does what he knows is the worst for me. He holds me down and hurts me and won’t let me free. He decided to FaceTime one of my friends and proceeded to tell her that I had “went crazy and attacked him”... I did scratch him to try to get him off of me so he showed her that. I was sitting on the floor crying in my underwear and he faced the camera towards me so she could see....as soon as I started to say that he was lying, and that I had bruises, he quickly hung up the phone. But my friend knew I was in trouble and she called the police as soon as she got off the phone. He did not stop hurting me until the police showed up, and when they did come he told me to tell them to leave and that I had self inflicted wounds I really had no idea how they knew to come to my house....because I had tried to dial 911 on my cell phone and house phone but he ripped the phones away. I had thought that maybe the call did go through but I found out later that it was my friend who called. Thank god for her this is not the first time this has happened but he always told me every incident would be the last. I just couldn’t believe he would do it again and again. I have a beautiful 6 month old daughter who was asleep on her crib in the next room during all of this I’m so grateful that the police believed me and helped me to file a temporary restraining order. I feel lost today....it’s Valentine’s Day and I am at home with my daughter. I’m in so much pain mentally and physically but I’m also heartbroken and miss him....I know this is for the best because he cannot be abusing me but why does it hurt so bad when they are finally away? I hope everyone’s day is better and thanks for letting me vent to you all [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins by a man who like to use me as his punching bag Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hey so I was with a guy for 3 years and he broke me down so bad that I lost myself before I got with him I had one child and life was amazing then we had a child together and I saw red flags and ignored the because it was only a few fast forward to me moving to his state and having his daughter that’s when the abuse started I shook it off and believed he wasn’t gonna hit me again and I was kid right it led to him choking me out every time I didn’t submit or do what he wanted me to do, I was forced to have sex when I didn’t want to or I was accused of cheating and that was another fight now here I am homeless and 4 months pregnant with twins that’s now kids 3 and 4 and I have 2 kids already and to be honest I’m far from excited about having them I know it may change when I have them but rn I despise being pregnant by this man he’s living his life and doing everything that he wants to do and I’m pregnant and can’t work till I give birth And then the struggle and stress of being a single mom of 4 , I sometimes wonder if I should have got a abortion like he was trying to force me into is it ok to not feel excited about being pregnant with twins by a man who like to use me as his punching bag Signed AM I THE ASSHOLE MOM FOR NOT BEING EXTREMELY EXCITED ABOUT HAVING TWINS [/INST] Communication </s> |
Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 5050 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much. | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Update: the court found no evidence of abuse and he has gained 5050 custody. All he has to do is take a abuse class. Ugh. She is so defeated Hello, I am hoping you can help me. My friend has left her abusive husband and we filed a restraining order for her last week. The trial is this week and I am worried we don’t have enough evidence. Right now we only have dates and times of abusive events. We don’t have any pictures (her phone was smashed and she hadn’t backed up pictures). We do have one threat on text that is pretty intense but that’s it. Is that going to be enough? She is scared and I am scared for her. I am worried they won’t grant it for her and her children and he will become enraged. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much. [/INST] Legal </s> |
Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story. I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!! | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Get ya a snack cause this is gonna be a LONG story. I started dating this guy for a few months back in the Spring. We fell in love quickly and he moved in with me. We both have our own past relationship traumas, toxic behaviors, insecurities, trust issues, etc. I'm very closed off due to these reasons therefore it has taken me longer to open up than it has him.. which resulted in a lot of overthinking on his part. From the start, the phones have been an issue. I will admit I started the first fight over him acting sketchy over his phone. First things first, he completely swiped his phone before he came over. I mean, everything. He explained his reasoning as he was being respectful to me by not having any past messages for me to get upset over. Ok, understood. However, he kept changing his PIN to his phone. He told it to me one day so that I could use his cause mine was dead. A few days later, the PIN was changed. Is that not shady in your eyes? Maybe I just let my mind wander and be triggered due to being cheated on by an ex. So, I let that go. Next, we had had a few drinks one night and apparently I had too many. I hadn't drank in a long time and I definitely overdone it. He says I flipped out and was very angry, accusing him of cheating and said a lot of hurtful things to him. I don't remember this at all but I apologized profusely and tried to make it up to him for several days afterward. Fast forward a few weeks later, he's been drinking... and it is his turn to explode. He calls me every name in the book. I just took it as I knew I did deserve it. Fast forward another week, he takes it a step farther and will not allow me to have any alone time whatsoever. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I was laying in bed, crying.. And he jerked the blanket away and flipped the lights on and demanded I get up. I didn't. So he proceeded to take all of my clothes off the rack and throw them on top of me. I begged him to stop and leave me alone. He would go away for a minute then come right back. I made the mistake of messaging my brother, just to vent, get some advice... As he does the same to me. However, he was very upset and came over and made my boyfriend leave via police. We broke up for about a month. We still talked every day. He begged me every single day to take him back. I eventually gave in. He didn't technically move back in but he stayed with me majority of the time. He had been back a couple months now and everything was fine... Until his birthday rolled around and he wanted to drink. I was skeptical at first as he had really made some great progress since he had decided to quit... But wanted him to enjoy his day. His birthday turned into a week long binge that was pure torture. It was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment. I swear several times I seen the devil in his eyes. He practically held me hostage in my own apt for 3 days. I wasn't allowed to go outside or visit my dad who lives right next door. He would scream crazy outbursts like I was beating him, would throw himself up against the door so neighbors would hear. He grabbed knives and put them in my hands saying I just want your finger prints all over these incase something happens to me. He slapped himself over and over in the face saying I was doing it, to call the law. He even took my hands once and punched himself in the face. He had scratches on his face from my nails trying to just get away from him. I begged for him to stop. He would take a drink of beer and spew it in my face. He would call me various names, say I was mocking him for being abused as a child.. When that is something I NEVER would have done. He broke my couch by sitting down too hard, then got up and done it again so it would break down completely. He wouldn't allow me to have access to my phone, said he didn't trust me. I needed to use the bathroom and was gonna take it in there with me to watch Tik Tok videos. He wouldn't let me so I gently tossed it on the bed, it landed on the pillow. I came out and my phone was gone. I searched the bedroom up and down. He said he didn't know where it was. I eventually found it hidden behind the cushions on the couch next to where he sits. The screen protector was off. It was wet, inside the case was wet and the screen was black. It looked like he had punched it and put it under faucet. He still to this day denies touching it. Hw busted TWO of his phones. First he busted after he did mine, he slammed it on ground and asked if I was happy now. Hw got a cheap phone the next day.. The nexr day after he had been drinking he busted it too, for no reason.. Just tossed it up in air and busted it. He would scream that I was talking badly about his mom, that i threatened to kill her and she was in diapers and used a walker. I never did any of that. I literally sat and tried to focus on playing cards with him, as that is what he always wanted to do. I had to sit and play Rummy and UNO with him for 8 hours, while he drank and done and said crazy things. He would flip me off right in my face, finger to my nose. He would throw his hands out like he was going to hit me in the face, then get mad when I flinched. There is just so much... I'm probably forgetting things. When he would wake up, it was like nothing ever happened. He would try to hug up and love on me and talk to me sweetly. Then he would drink, and it was like a monster was awoken. He blamed me for it all... That I started this and that he couldn't trust me is reason he acted this way. I had to literally escape from my own apt to get away from him and my Dad called the police to escort him out. I filed an EPO... That has still not been served. We work at the same hospital. He still talks to me every day, wants to take breaks, wants to come over. Says he will never drink again. I love him but I am so scared. What if next time is worse? What if he truly hurts me? What do I do? I know my mind is saying run far away but my heart loves him for who he is when he's not drinking. How can I believe him? I just really need some advice. Thanks for listening!!! [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened. Is this normal?? | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi! Has anybody else experienced losing common friends being the victim of DV? It‘s kinda weird to me, everytime I open up about how I feel people start going against me and want nothing to do with me anymore. On the other hand, they still hang out with my abuser and are friends like nothing happened. Is this normal?? [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019. Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical. Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along. All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface. When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around. Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake. I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go. Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My ex is currently in AA and has been sober since I left the marriage in the beginning of 2019. Our marriage was very difficult and when he was using, he could become verbally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes it became physical. Issue is our child thinks the world of him, like he can do no wrong. She loves him very much. It’s very important to her that we get along. All of 2019, I hated him. All the resentment and anger I was holding in the past 11 years was finally able to surface. When our divorce finalized in 2020, I started to soften towards him. Becoming more friendly, no longer tensing up when he was around. Someone in another thread pointed out that abuse survivors may want to explore forgiving their abusers. ‘Forgive those that don’t deserve your forgiveness’ And so I did, for my daughter’s sake. I even invited him over for Christmas since he had nowhere to go. Is it strange? I’m feeling judgement from people in my life who think I shouldn’t give him the time of day. Some may even think I’m still in love with him (I am not!). Just wanted to see if anyone has gone through the same experience. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence: During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me. My question for the community is: If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills. One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before: In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery andor give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that ifwhen I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so. Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts! | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Describing my situation with some (very brief) details of the violence: During a fight at the beginning of the year, he nearly suffocated me and gave me a concussion. There hasn't been any of that type of violence between us since then except one time after a verbal argument, where he more or less said, 'I want to do that to you again but I won't'. I've moved in and out of the house since but after experiencing worsening PCS (post concussion syndrome) symptoms am now back again, trying to focus on recovering some of my health which I've felt moving around so much has not helped me do. This is his apartment. Before I moved in, I was living in a rental that was affordable to me at the time, however, is no longer since I only just finished school when I moved into here, the pandemic had just started and am now still mostly not working and am still pretty sick from PCS (read as: I cannot afford my own place right now). He is gone a lot of the time (weeks at a time) and will continue to be until the summer, when he leaves for work for a full 3-4 months. I am in ongoing therapy and he has gone to a few therapy sessions that afterwards seems to give him a positive shift in perspective. I am pretty convinced at this point that I will need to leave the house and the relationship eventually. However, I also want to focus on doing the things that make me feel like I am on the right track for my recovery. And when I was moved out, I was really struggling with finding a situation where I could be more comfortable than I am here (sans fights). Right now, it honestly feels to me that I am in the best worst case scenario although I realize it is still risky. He did do me serious harm. He could have even ended my life. I don't think that is what he was trying to do and I also don't think he would purposefully do that, although of course I have read the statistics about abuse escalating. Considering all the pros and cons, I feel that for myself, right now, I am leaning towards staying (maybe at longest until the summer when he is gone for the longer period of time) and focusing on my health and recovery as being the best option for me. My question for the community is: If you were in my shoes, what would you do and over what period of time? I am looking forward to hearing more perspectives, especially given that I do, in fact, have brain trauma that is no doubt affecting my reasoning skills. One more thing that I will add for those who have never had brain trauma before: In my experience of living with PCS, it is like having a very strict limit on your energy level. It feels like I wake up with a set amount of energy to try to do the things I want to do, hoping that at least some of those things are what will eventually help me to make a full recovery andor give myself an energy boost for upcoming days. I try to eat some brain food, do a couple social things, do some chores, do some exercise, enjoy some screen time, knowing that if I push myself too much in anything that I could bust and 'lose' the rest of my day. I'm finding that pacing myself is very important. A 'bust' may not be life threatening (as far as I know) but it has its consequences and sometimes I feel the effects of a bust for days, weeks. At least for me it is a big factor in knowing that ifwhen I do move out again, it will take a lot of my energy to do so. Woof, I'm tired now. thanks for reading through! Hoping to hear some constructive thoughts! [/INST] Communication </s> |
How do you do with horrible memories? How do you make them stop hurting you in the now? Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> How do you do with horrible memories? How do you make them stop hurting you in the now? Trauma happened this year. How do I continue living? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I feel so incredibly trapped. Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this. I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I feel so incredibly trapped. Two weeks ago I had an abortion and the day after I expressed I was upset he didnt ask how i was. He started the verbal abuse and its hard to remember what I had done so wrong. But I was in the shower and i said i wanted to leave. He put the shower head in my mouth and choked me after with his hands. He beat the sink with my hair dryer and cracked the porcelain. He needed to go another town and he calmed on the ride. Then I saw him texting his ex and idk I said that I knew it. We were in a woodsy area when no one around. He pushed my head to the center console and proceeded to punch the back of my neck. Almost home he said that when we get home he used to be the s out of me. I begged and pleaded that I would literally do anything. I fantasize about taking my pet and running to the nearest store. My car doesn't work and I didn't have a phone at the time. When we got home I took a shower again because Im only safe to cry there. I heard my pet crying. I got out of the shower to dry off and he brought my pet limp. He then held the back of my neck and made me watch punching my pet. he said that this was my fault. He grabbed a plastic bag and put it over his face. I disassociated because I believe that he was going to die. He threw him back in the cage and we went to bed. I had to pee and checked on him hurt but alive. That morning he was stiff. He made me put him in a bag and put him in the ground. His little toe was broken. I'm so scared I really don't know how to get out of this. I originally moved in with three of my pets and they oddly died within two months. He kept buying me new ones and claimed if i left he bought them they were his. Drunk he admitted to killing all of them. And tries to apologize for brutally murdering my friend like its not completely insane I was so sad to have to get an abortion but if i make it out my bean will never know the suffering they would have endured. I try to tell myself that much. I feel two huge losses. Im so weak to fight for safety. It all sounds so ridiculous i dont know if cops would even believe or be able to do anything for a rodent [/INST] Communication </s> |
I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation. I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued. He would say things such as... “Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?” (Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?” “Did you not get it out of your system?” And so so so much more. He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink. I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way. What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all... He would grab my armslegsbody while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t. On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out. I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone? I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don’t even know what to feel right to be honest but I’ll just explain my situation. I recently just got out of a relationship that was only about 6 months long. I saw “red flags” very quickly into the relationship but I always thought, “oh well we are just getting acclimated to each other and building trust”. But the verbal and physical(?) abuse just continued. He would say things such as... “Why were you at the gym for an hour and half? Where were you?” (Because I refused sex from him) “Do you touch yourself before I come over?” “Was someone here to do it?” “Did you not get it out of your system?” And so so so much more. He was constantly accusing me of talking to other men or even doing drugs which I hardly even drink. I would let him know how those things made me feel and he would try to manipulate the situation by saying that “he was allowed to ask questions” or “you acted like this, that’s why asked” or “I’m sorry YOU feel that way. What I’m confused about is the physical aspect of it all... He would grab my armslegsbody while cuddling or sitting or just doing whatever and would squeeze so hard, that I had to tell him to stop. But I had to tell him to stop several times before he actually would let up. He bruised me almost every time he did so which was often. I showed him the bruises and told him he needed to lighten his grip. He didn’t. On another occasion during sex, he began choking me (which I did not say I wanted). I couldn’t breath, I was pinned down, and I couldn’t talk either to tell him to stop. He got off soon after but I felt like I was going to pass out. I’m just now realizing that this probably wasn’t okay? I knew that there was mental abuse but I’m trying to figure out my emotions when it comes to him being physical with me. I’m just not sure if it even was abuse and if it was, do I cry, scream, talk to someone? I ended it just a few weeks ago and have been checking over my shoulder ever since because he is very unstable. I don’t think he’d do anything but I check to see if his car may be around and keep my blinds closed all the time. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation. The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said "i'm having really tough time" but they never texted me back. around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around. I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it. I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying "sorry, im busy". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong. tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I've been thinking about reaching out to someone about my domestic violence situation because I don't know what other steps to take and I keep reading that you should tell someone about your situation. The problem is, theres only one person I think I could tell. They told me even though they were busy with 2 jobs I could take to them about anything or I could tell them if I was in a bad situation. This wasin the fall. The thing is, I tried to reach out asking for help a couple months later but they didnt respond and now I'm hesitant to do it again cause I'm afraid of bothering them. I said "i'm having really tough time" but they never texted me back. around the holidays i contacted them to let them know i had been really sick and in the hospital and they said they were sorry to hear that and they were just really busy working 2 jobs so sorry they havn't been around. I dont know what to do. I'm afraid of their mental health suffering if I tell them because its not like they can do anything to help me but listen. I feel like they have a lot going on and telling them that im being abused and have no clue how to get out of it will make their life more confusing and painful cause they cant do anything about it. I honestly think they might be lying about work so they dont have to talk to me. they havn't initiated contact with me in like 6 months, its always me texting them like once a month and them replying back saying "sorry, im busy". they said they have 2 jobs and are working 16 hours a day. they said they cant text at work but i see them posting on social media at work. i dont know how many who work 16 hours a day 5 days week but maybe I'm wrong. tldr: I just dont know what to do. I'm afraid of reaching out to the one person who i feel like i can actually tell about my domestic violence because I think they might be trying to be avoiding talking to me already. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot. ~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now. Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid. (I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.) They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm "garbage", I'm "a slob", I'm "lazy", I'm "to not be trusted"... After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did. Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting "all night". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust. Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm "worthless", I'm "stupid", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me? Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again. I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse. Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...? Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My partner has ptsd from foster homes, abusive adoptive mother and ex partner experience. I had an emotionally abusive father who drank a lot. ~~I have had worse nights than this~~, but this isn't a picnic. This rates just under the worst night now. Tonight, they screamed in my ear after drinking a bunch, and then told me the dogs tripped em and glasses fell behind the tv. I looked quickly, not there. I didn't even have a chance to say anything and immediately I didn't look hard enough bc I'm lazy and stupid. (I work ft, they can't at all atm due to health issues even before covid. We can't afford dr bills for the needed treatment, and it's a vicious cycle.) They yelled into each of my ears at dif times tonight bc I couldn't find the glasses they lost. Doesn't even matter they can't tell me when they last had them, only that I am at fault now and always. I'm "garbage", I'm "a slob", I'm "lazy", I'm "to not be trusted"... After I couldn't find them the first time, punching the couch in front of me while in front of me and yelling at me to go to bed was answer. I did. Not surprisingly, not even 10 min later, they forgot the series of events as they occurred, barged into bedroom I cannot lock nor barricade and pushed me into the living room to look again...bc they had been waiting "all night". I'm balling, terrified bc I know I could end up bruised tomorrow and terrified of the person I love and trust. Can't find the glasses still, looking everywhere I can, no luck. Being mocked and put down entire time but told that they need me bc they can't see. Now I can't see bc I'm crying so hard from my head and heart pounding from the yelling and pushing. I'm "worthless", I'm "stupid", it's all my fault, but they need me...they need me? Can't find it, get pushed into kitchen on floor as I stood there hunched over protecting my face. Hit floor, head hurts, heart hurts, crying. Please don't hurt me anymore I start repeating over and over as I cry and beg for mercy bc I can't find something I didn't lose. I got lucky bc I think he recognized my pleas as similar to his past and he let me go back to bed to hide again. I hate ptsd, I hate myself, I hate that if it wasn't for alcohol and ptsd and depression I wouldn't be here. And I hate that I make excuses...and have no friends other than my parents whom I won't involve in this mess more than I already have. I don't trust the police to not make things 10x worse. Update: got pushed around to different rooms for over 2 hours tonight, broken things in the house and it looks like we were robbed with everything tossed. I was grabbed, pushed, dodged punches, strangled, and my wrists twisted. I think this means I need a divorce, but I can't kick them out, I don't want them to commit suicide over it, and can't trust the place to not get trashed if I leave. They threatened to burn it all at one point. And I still love them...? Thank you for hearing me out. Any feedback is welcome, just please be gentle and understanding as much as possible. This is a tosser acct bc they know my other ones. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me "dog" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties. He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday. I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself... I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it! Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My 23yo son was at it again. He insults me, spat on me, calling me "dog" and more. He came into my room raging, spat and trashed my room. He threatened to break my things, laptop and other properties. He went on from 12 to 4, not letting me rest. He threatened me with knife in hand and violates my privacy everyday. I told him I'll ring the police and sought for an AVO, and he raged more. This on top of my depression, is not good for me. He often tells me to kill myself... I know no one cares one little bit cause I guess I brought it onto myself for bringing him into this world. I so regret it! Happy new year... hope this coming year will be better for all [/INST] Communication </s> |
I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit. There was verbal abuse from the get go about 67 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts. Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time. I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating. For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it. I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me. Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now. After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone. In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying. Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up. I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change. He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “ And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us. But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen. I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this. This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him. He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me) I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling chasing forcing me from my home is abuse. And I will not take it. Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this. I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here. He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out. I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here. So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily. I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone. Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am a 32 year old woman married to a 41 year old man. He lost his job of ten years 3 years ago and hasn’t been the same. He’s bounced from jobs and was unemployed before the pandemic hit. There was verbal abuse from the get go about 67 months into the relationship, that I did not recognize because I am a recently medicated bi polar woman. Everytime the abuse happened I had felt it was my fault because I was erratic emotionally. (But more sad or just energized) and it was hard to comprehend all of my thoughts. Early in the relationship the first scary fight we had he kept screaming and getting spit in my face, cornering me in the room, not leaving me alone when I asked, Calling me a whore, and would not go away from me while I pleaded. and I hit him off of me. This was after our engagement party which was such a fun time. I had felt so horrible and awful and abusive. Since then he calls any reaction to him abuse. And it has left me feeling like a monster, getting help, therapy, medicines, groups, meditating. For years now the cornering, chasing me, yelling at me, barraging me, yelling with spit flying at my face, trying to bust down the door of whatever room I am in, wrecking a room of the home.. has continued. I constantly fear more serious damage will happen, and when I was unmedicated I thought about killing myself everytime we would fight. And I have not one time touched him since that one time. I have practiced so much new knowledge hoping something would change it. I had considered myself the cause of this, the abuser because of the one time I hit him to get off of me. Over the summer I got successfully medicated for the first time in my life. And thinking clearly is very easy now. After some sessions with my therapist she told me he is being abusive. And she said it makes sense that I was trying to push hit away someone who is screaming at me while I plead to be left alone. In every fight we get into, I end up just saying I want to be left alone over and over and over. And it gets intense until I run away to a room and lock the door. And sometimes that doesn’t work and he bangs on the door and mocks me for crying. Sometimes the banging outside of the door harassment does not stop until I threaten to call cops, or call my parents and they drive an hour to pick me up. I have tried so many self improvement tactics hoping that if only I could do something different it would change. He is more soft spoken then me, has a more delicate frame than me. We are the same height but I’d definitely say people assume I am alpha in this situation. He never leaves my side. Doesn’t have friends outside of mine. And does not make plans for himself. He doesn’t make appointments for himself. Decide he needs a haircut. Floss his Mf teeth. I feel like I’ve had a bug on me honestly. Oh! And “I never give him enough affection... “ And wow. I have really been supportive during all of these transitions and taken on more bills. And never pressured him. Been patient in his job changes. I had continued to have sex with him regularly, made efforts to be sweeter. Tried to be so kind While working and cooking and taking care of us. But with all of this constant fighting every morning every night and then going to work and coming home to someone who clings to me and then yells at me... I feel so unappreciated, and not seen. I have been so alone in this. I had constantly thought I was abusive and deserved this. This entire time I have tried to make sense and try and out logic the fighting, and I’ve finally realized it’s him. He has not once done anything to account for the yelling or breaking things or chasing me. He apologizes only if he is caught by my parents picking me up. But whatever the fight that started it was always gets brought back up in the next fight. “Oh call the police again you love pigs” (I don’t you just made me feel so unsafe I thought you would hurt me) I love him and our nice times. It’s not all bad. But none of that changes things. And the good times don’t make sense of the clingy ness.. and the mothering and the amount of caretaker he wants me to be for him .. this yelling chasing forcing me from my home is abuse. And I will not take it. Our final fight happened and again my family picked me up. I talked to my therapist and we made a list of rules for me to return to the home for two days so I could be close to work. The rules are no talking about emotional things, just strictly house hold necessities. Sleeping in separate rooms. He agreed to them. I’m going to leave again for holidays and come back for work. And asked him to leave the apartment for a week or so, so I have time to think about all of this. I have my cats (children) here and this is a beautiful apartment I worked hard for. I want him to leave (no job) and I want a divorce. I think we are beyond marriage counseling because he’s never recognized that he has ever been a part of the problem here. He drinks I say something (a n y thing) and it becomes a full on blow out. I would like to tell him I want him to leave with a mediator here. So I was thinking a few weeks would be enough time for me to decide exactly what I need and not hastily. I would like to separate apartments, and begin divorce process. I know he doesn’t want this. But he is unwilling to change. And I don’t want this anymore. I’ve been dealing with this for five years and I’m done. I would rather be alone. Any advice? Related experience? Words of encouragement? Anything. [/INST] Communication </s> |
To the one that broke your heart from abuse? In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face. I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back? That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> To the one that broke your heart from abuse? In my case, my ex was more emotionally abusive, though he grabbed my neck once and slapped me in the face. I know it’s irrational to think of him lovingly, but am I the only one who has ever considered going back? That was the leading reason we broke up. I still care for him. It’s been a year now. I know I sound crazy. I just want to hear others thoughts. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I had a week off work at the end of November 2020 due to injuries that he had given me. I was late to work one day at the end of December due to his need for me to stay awake with him on a night. I needed a day off a couple of weeks ago as I had just started prosecution against him and I’m tired af and stressed af. After I took that day off I was informed I’m on sickness monitoring. I have just taken the weekend off because I’ve had more time with police and done another statement about him contacting me again (breaking bail for the second time in less than two weeks). I’m scared to go back to work because they seem to have no patience for my time off. I don’t want to lose my job. I’m already in so much debt because of him. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 1223 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet. I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I went across the country to be safe from my abuser. He was so manipulative and narcissistic. I am so proud of myself. But it was over 28+ of time with driving, hotels, stops for gas. And pain and aggravation. I made it 1223 late afternoon. I’m still trying to get myself back together. I am still grieving after the loss of everything (home, relationship, independence, money, and just not knowing what’s next). I’ll be staying with mom for awhile until I can get back on my feet. I have unpacking to do still. Still adjusting to new time zone and new life down here. I have connected to a DV organization to help me get back on my feet as I get through this adjustment and terrifying time. I just want words of encouragement or advice from anyone who has done any of this etc. I’m just trying to stay strong. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court? | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My husband is my abuser and sexually assaulted me. I already had to face him once in court and he looked CRAZED and that was at the order of protection hearing. Now we are getting divorced and I will have to face him idk how many times. I had nightmares about him almost non stop since i got the order and I'm terrified of what will happen when it's over. We have 2 kids together so I cant just cut him off. I feel so weak and like I cant do this. How do I face him in court? [/INST] Legal </s> |
It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> It absolutely astounds me when the abuser goes on like the victim. Like THEY were the one getting abused. Speaks volumes... don’t you think? How frustrating. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown thingssmashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Yesterday, I was cooking lunch for my 2 kids and 2 step kids while my partner was napping on the sofa. Basically he woke up grouchy and he threw his shoe at me from across the room. For context, he got up and went in the kitchen where I was cooking and told me I’m ruining the pasta - I wasn’t, it was cooked absolutely fine. He didn’t like that I told him that because it was ‘back chatting’ and he’d had enough of the kids doing it all day so he snapped. The thing is he did it in front of all 4 kids and narrowly missing my 1 year old son. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting in thinking that it’s domestic abuse? This isn’t the first time things like this have happened though. He’s never physically hit me. He’s grabbed me by the collar and rubbed a dirty nappy in my face, thrown thingssmashed things and punched a hole in my wall. But never hit me. And for the record the shoe didn’t actually hit me or my son, it was blocked by the baby gate. I think I already know the answer to my question but I’m just confused and very lost and I’m not sure what to do. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother. | Childbearing | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Anytime I try to leave he always takes her away. I can’t take it anymore and I don’t wanna leave without her but I don’t know what else to do. I’d I leave her I’m scared what he’s gonna do, at this point I’m tired I just wanna give up on everything. I’m honestly starting to think this is what I deserve and it’s all my fault, I’ve started to internalize the things he’s says. I hate myself, I feel like a bad mother. [/INST] Childbearing </s> |
I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don't know what to do when my husband gaslights me. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation. A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them. Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive. Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it. He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever. Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now. Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband. I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser. Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My husband and I haven’t had the best time during my pregnancy. I’m 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t been able to let me husband back in the home for a week because of a restraining order. I want him to be there for the birth of our child in 9 weeks, I also want him around but my family is trying to keep him away from me and I’m still having anxiety attacks daily over the whole situation. A few months ago I confronted my husband over where our money from our savings had went. He choked me in the hallway next to our bedroom during an argument about me wanting to know what happened to it and him saying it was none of my business and I’m crazy. He also broke my laptop and iPad a few days prior and I’m a graphic designer and we don’t have much savings anymore because of the pandemic we’re very strapped for cash right now and couldn’t replace them. Last week we were in an argument because I wanted him to stop smoking so much weed and he called me annoying and said I need to be submissive. Then he threw my wedding band out the window. And two days after that I was out on a two mile walk with the dog and when I got back he was in a mood and ended up hitting me several times as hard as he could in my right arm and biting me. I was so upset I called the police and now I regret it. He suffers from PTSD and I have been trying to get him to go get treatment for it and his anger problems because 95% of the time he’s amazing. Romantic, nurturing, loving and helpful. He does things for me all the time without me asking. He’s the perfect partner 95% of the time. But being locked up together and both of us having difficulties during Covid lockdown has made us argue more then ever. Currently there’s a restraining order and he can’t be around me until we can change that. But the court doesn’t want to make changes until the next court date. I need that to stop now. Here’s my other problem. Because I went to the hospital that day my parents are extremely worried and because they are both retired they have been taking turns driving the two hour trip to where I live to keep me company. It hasn’t been that bad but I really miss my husband. I’m having extreme feelings of anxiety everyday and have attacks where I have trouble breathing and start crying uncontrollably. My family is almost forcing me to give up on my marriage because of all of this and I’m not ready to. Because my father was a judge for over 30 years he’s delt with many many cases and keeps telling me it’s going to keep escalating until I’m dead or my son is hurt. He thinks my husband can’t change in enough time for the birth of my son and is doing a good job of talking to me about everything during this time. I tell him honestly how I feel and he explains to me that everything I’m feeling is normal and a lot of women go through this but he’s convinced my husband will always be an abuser. Help. What do I do here. I love my husband... I love my son. I want to have a family with them but I also don’t want to be hurt anymore. When do I know if he’s had enough counseling? [/INST] Communication </s> |
Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date.. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Shit hit the fan almost a week ago now and I've been back living with my mom for 4 days. I only knew it was a matter of time before he contacted me. He sent a cute little message saying he's sorry, he wants to coparent, he wants to be united raising our baby, that he loves us- and for a second I second guessed my decision to file a VPO. I wondered if I did the right thing and if I had overreacted. I got scared because I knew once he was served he would be very angry and probably find a way to contact me again and threaten me. But then I had to remember that he put the baby's life in danger when he put his hands on me, and I had to remember that his abuse had been going on for a year and that there was always an apology and a love bomb at the beginning of the cycle. Had to remember that what I was doing was to protect myself, and my baby and that even though I had been desensitized to a lot of the abuse he was dishing out, I had multiple people that confirmed his actions were indeed forms of abuse. I'm just trying to remain calm, and unafraid, leading up to this court date.. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him. But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me... Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked?? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I was recently attacked by my now ex partner who choke dragged me from one room to another the continued to suffocate me. In which i honestly thought i was going to loose my life. We are over. The police are involved. Im scared of him. But im desensitized to it when i talk to friends about the situation im very nonchalant where as they are really shoked and worried for me... Im a pretty it is what it is person. But something feels strange that i just dont care to an extent i was attacked?? [/INST] Communication </s> |
(I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.) Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious. I don't know if she actually thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do. Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she really thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent. My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> (I don't want to give out too many details because my friend uses reddit sometimes and may be on this subreddit.) Long story short, my boyfriend was abusive recently; the police were called. I told my friend, and she ended up telling my family despite me begging her not to. I kind of threw her under the bus and made her out to be crazy to my family. When I made it clear to her that I don't intend to leave him (the abuse was during a mental health crisis, and he's getting help now), she started saying that I'm lying about the abuse and giving domestic violence victims a bad reputation. She was vicious. I don't know if she actually thinks I'm lying, or if she was just trying to get me to defend myself and say it was true so that she could screenshot it and send proof to my family. I basically just have to sit here and let her say that I'm lying in case that is what she's trying to do. Her behavior doesn't make sense, though. She texted my boyfriend and said that he could go ahead and kill me now that she has blocked me and no one would know now (basically implying that no one will check up on me now that she's not talking to me). If she really thought that my boyfriend would kill me, she wouldn't say that - that could push him over the edge if he were really that violent. My boyfriend and I are just trying to move on. We're both seeking help. She won't let it go, though. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm better off because she's being abusive herself. What would you do? [/INST] Communication </s> |
This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber. and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault.. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> This is my first time coming to the internet for advice . i feel like i have no where else to turn to for support or any advice without feeling like a burden ... I moved in with my boyfriend and its been great im starting the new year off well. He takes me everywhere since i dont know how to drive. Im trying to learn but he hardly teaches me . he says hes going to so that i can save money and not have to go to driving school . but still i havent learned anything. I wokeup him up this morning because he needed to take me to my doctors appointment. I tried waking him up by kissing him and gently rubbing his shoulder and he wouldn't move (hes a heavy sleeper) i told him wakeup you have to take me to my appointment so hes getting dressed and the whole time hes cursing and complaining about how hes tired of driving me everywhere. So i say okay fine ill just take an Uber. and i walk away and he rushes towards me and slaps the shit out of me !! And says you just woke me up made me get ready for nothing ?! I was so hurt i left the house and called my ride . i have a bruise on my cheek and my doctor asked me about it . i told her and she asked me if i wanted to make a report and i said . i dont know what to do . i feel like this was my fault.. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal. Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people. He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My abuser throws out put downs in casual convo and I move on like it’s normal. Example, he was asking me this morning if I wanted to go with him somewhere. When I declined he said, “ what are you going to do lay around all day tweeting about trump? You probably have someone you text about that stuff “ I didn’t even ask what he meant, just moved convo forward like it’s normal to say things like that to people. He likes to insinuate that I’m cheating once in awhile. I feel so fucked up to be accepting this behavior. It’s embarrassing that I’m a strong person everywhere in my life but with him. With him, I’m a weak shell of myself. Fearful and self doubting. Trapped. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months. Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi All! I (33F) have been married for more than 5 years and have a 3 year old. My marriage has been full of physical assault, sexual coercion, verbal abuse, and gaslighting. Me, my husband and daughter recently immigrated to a new country and lived with my sister’s family for a few months. Once my husband and I got new jobs, the three of us moved out to an apartment near to my sister’s place. 4 days after moving in, my husband, started touching my body after I had said no. I said no again and removed my hands. He leapt over my sleeping daughter and struck me across the face. It wasn’t the first time he had hit me, but it was the first time in my daughter’s presence. I moved out with my daughter the next day and have been giving the situation a lot of thought. In the last 4 weeks since leaving the house, there have been no apologies. My parents and my sister also stood by me when I finalised my decision to separate from him. Once he received the letter from my lawyer he came crawling back, called my parents and other family members telling them he had made a big mistake and wants to reconcile. He has deceived me multiple times during the relationship, so I’m not falling for that. But unfortunately now my parents have been influenced. They say that they don’t like the guy, and that I should do what I want to, but they recently said hurtful things like, “don’t involve us, this is embarrassing for us”. I’m from a south Asian family, divorce is still a taboo, so I wasn’t expecting them to cheer me on, but is there some way to convince the family to stand by me? I’m a financially independent woman, I’m well educated, I got a decent job in the new country before my husband did, and I have been the level headed kid of the family. I have done what I was told to for as long as I remember. I feel betrayed right now, given that I have never given my parents any trouble, and this is the only time I’m “not playing by the rules”. I feel alone. Has anyone overcome something similar? [/INST] Communication </s> |
How to forgive self for living what u lived. For not asking for help when needed. How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse? How do you internally apologize self for what put self in? | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> How to forgive self for living what u lived. For not asking for help when needed. How to live now, knowing that u experienced severe domestic abuse? How do you internally apologize self for what put self in? [/INST] Legal </s> |
I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I’ve been seeing my partner for nearly a year now and it keeps getting worse and worse The hitting has increased. The abusive, gaslighting, manipulation and constantly demanding all of my energy... I’m absolutely exhausted and I can’t do this anymore I’ve lost so many friends because of this person because nobody wants to be around me anymore My best friend of 10 years distances herself entirely because she is ‘protecting her own energy’ from this And I feel so isolated and like I can’t reach out to anybody Every time we break up I have an overwhelming amount of separation anxiety and I just run back because of the trauma bond They have even admitted themselves that they know there is a trauma bond between us They are a really really intense stalker, harasser as well They create profiles and emails and additionally works at a centre for the national post office so they can access everyone’s private information like address and phone number I feel so sick and trapped and I honestly have no idea what to do, I feel like they could hurt me more if I left Btw I’m in Melbourne Australia; every time I call 1800 respect they just tell me to leave them but it’s extremely difficult without any emotional support around me [/INST] Communication </s> |
tw- violence Throwaway for obvious reasons. I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP. The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me. So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me. I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims. I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed. I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> tw- violence Throwaway for obvious reasons. I was in a short-lived relationship that ended in a violent episode where my x choked me twice before leaving, once resulting in my passing out. After the episode he left and unknown to me, filed a police report claiming we had a fight but stating he wasn’t injured and didn’t want to file charges or do anything. The officer noted he wasn’t injured. In my state, if he was, they would have immediately come to at least talk to me and probably arrest me. Nothing happened and I wasn’t even aware until 5 days later that he had taken any action. At the time, I was stunned and in shock that this person had tried to kill me and it took me awhile to process the gravity of it so I didn’t immediately file charges. I went to three intense trauma therapy sessions in the span of five days to try to process it. My x had been staying in my home and had some expensive items delivered after the incident so on the advice of some lawyer friends I reached out to him to let him know these items had arrived. He never answered me over the weekend and the following Monday went to family court to file for a temporary order of protection. In my state anyone and everyone can be granted a TOP. The order was complete fabrication where he contradicts his own report that he made with the police. When I was served the sheriffs advised me to go and file criminal charges, as I was bruised and visibly injured. So I did. The fact that he’d make such grandiose false claims made me incredibly fearful of him and what he was capable of. I felt like I was dealing w a true sociopath. The results of these actions are that there’s a criminal trial again him and a civil action against me. So now the civil trial is coming to a head. Given that he’s a defendant in a criminal case, everyone expected him to let the family court order against me expire because having him testify to a fabricated story on the record can and will be used against him in criminal court. I have an attorney who has met with his “victim” advocate multiple times and while she agrees with my attorney that this was filed to try to intimidate me and because abusers try to blame-shift, she can’t compel him to not to force a trial. So a trial in this family case awaits me and a criminal trial in the charges I filed probably also awaits me. I haven’t seen him since the incident. The trial will be on zoom but despite this, I am terrified. Truly terrified. He’s coming out with these clearly doctored photos claiming injuries and I will have to relive that day in his presence again in order to refute his nonsense claims. I will have to sit there and not react to obvious lies and fabrications. I will have to try to remain calm as this person who tried to kill me lies repeatedly. I will have to contain my fear so I can speak my truth. And I think he will enjoy seeing how terrified I am. I truly do. And I think seeing me will increase his obsession with me when all I want is for him to forget I ever existed. I’m not really looking for advice. This person tried to kill me over a very short relationship ending. I guess I just want to say that this is why victims don’t come forward— the pure terror of having to relive the terrible incident over again, having to be non reactive to false claims made by someone who tried to end your life, having to deal with a legal system that allows this shit to go on. Having to deal him potentially winning in a court where the burden of proof is much lower and him reigniting his feelings about me. I understand why anyone and everyone should be able to file for these orders. But this tactic by abusers to try to paint themselves as victims is disgusting and should warrant criminal consequences in order to deter them. [/INST] Communication </s> |
15 months after we broke up, he came back. He sent a message on Christmas day saying he wanted to talk. I didn't respond, I only saw the message more than a week after, but 2 weeks after I did. We spoke over the phone and he said he hasn't moved on albeit trying so hard. He saw therapists the whole time so he says he has changed, a different man and he wants to show me that changed man. He apologized, saying he was disgusted to who he was, sincerely sorry for the pain he has caused, ashamed of what he did to me. He said it was embarrassing that he only found out he needed help from the psychiatrist at his age (mid 30's), it felt naked having to tell them all, the family he was accustomed to was violent. I said No. It's over. Then I saw a Tinder account, two pictures are erotic sensual photos clearly taken off online, last photo was his body - no head. I was sure it was him because the moles, the stance, the background was undeniably him. My fake profile matched with his. His profile wanted to see me in person. To hang out at some bar. After telling me I was the only person he wanted to be with, I was livid to find out about this. He admitted it was his photo, but it was a photo he sent to someone 7 months ago. He denied it was his profile. It was just chaotic. I am tired of the shitshow he creates and brings. I blocked him again, hurt again. I saw my therapist again. Why does he keep coming back? Why does he make me feel in pain? Does he not want to just live a happy life, sans hurting somebody else's? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> 15 months after we broke up, he came back. He sent a message on Christmas day saying he wanted to talk. I didn't respond, I only saw the message more than a week after, but 2 weeks after I did. We spoke over the phone and he said he hasn't moved on albeit trying so hard. He saw therapists the whole time so he says he has changed, a different man and he wants to show me that changed man. He apologized, saying he was disgusted to who he was, sincerely sorry for the pain he has caused, ashamed of what he did to me. He said it was embarrassing that he only found out he needed help from the psychiatrist at his age (mid 30's), it felt naked having to tell them all, the family he was accustomed to was violent. I said No. It's over. Then I saw a Tinder account, two pictures are erotic sensual photos clearly taken off online, last photo was his body - no head. I was sure it was him because the moles, the stance, the background was undeniably him. My fake profile matched with his. His profile wanted to see me in person. To hang out at some bar. After telling me I was the only person he wanted to be with, I was livid to find out about this. He admitted it was his photo, but it was a photo he sent to someone 7 months ago. He denied it was his profile. It was just chaotic. I am tired of the shitshow he creates and brings. I blocked him again, hurt again. I saw my therapist again. Why does he keep coming back? Why does he make me feel in pain? Does he not want to just live a happy life, sans hurting somebody else's? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I left my husband last week after I noticed his behavior changing since I began struggling financially. When we dated he had gotten on top of me and covered my face so that I couldn’t breath, physically restrained me, and threw me onto the floor all on separate occasions. When I left that time he tried to sue me for rent money but the case was thrown out because I had photos of bruises. His behavior the past couple of months started escalating where he’d put all his weight on me and wouldn’t get off unless I gave him a kiss or if I tried to shove him off he’d say I was being aggressive. He is now harassing me about rent money (I’ve gone no contact) he sent me a ridiculous agreement to sign and I told him I’m not signing it because first off I have no money due to him financially draining me, it also said nothing about removing my name from the lease (yet he wants me to send my key back), and that I left for a reason I don’t care if I’m legally bound to the lease and if my credit gets screwed up, I want nothing to do with him or the apartment. I knew after I left he’d begin with stalking behavior which he has never had an Instagram but the other day it suggested I should follow a new account that has his specific nickname. I was also walking my dog when I saw a car slow down and then speed up that was just like his, I couldn’t see the license plate, but my mom was able to find the clip on her Ring. After I refused to sign the agreement he included in his response “we will see what the judge says this time with my photos and evidence”. I dug my nails into him one of the times that he refused to get off of me and he took playfully took photos, the other evidence is when I was going through a miscarriage and swatted my hand at him after him telling me I can’t have kids because I’m cursed by God and that I’m going to hell, he began filming me saying I attacked him and was crazy and a demon. This is what I’m most nervous about because I did attempt to backhand his arm when he said this. The night before I left the final straw was him blocking me from leaving a room twice and then claiming I pushed him when I squeezed past him to go lock myself in the other room. I could see he was trying to force me into positions where he’d say I was abusive when I tried to defend myself. He’s always said if I ever call the police on him he’d claim he was acting in self defense. The week before I left he thought it was funny to point a loaded AK 47 type of gun at the cats, when I asked him to stop he said the safety was on and that they liked it bc they were sniffing it. I really don’t know if any of his behaviors will matter in court but I did not attack him in the way he is making it sound. I am not the abuser and the last time I tried to get a not contact through my school they retracted it after he called and said I was just trying to get out of paying rent money. I have spoken with an attorney and am getting a no contact order but I know he will try to bring this up against me. Advice in this would be much appreciated, I’m terrified. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I left my husband last week after I noticed his behavior changing since I began struggling financially. When we dated he had gotten on top of me and covered my face so that I couldn’t breath, physically restrained me, and threw me onto the floor all on separate occasions. When I left that time he tried to sue me for rent money but the case was thrown out because I had photos of bruises. His behavior the past couple of months started escalating where he’d put all his weight on me and wouldn’t get off unless I gave him a kiss or if I tried to shove him off he’d say I was being aggressive. He is now harassing me about rent money (I’ve gone no contact) he sent me a ridiculous agreement to sign and I told him I’m not signing it because first off I have no money due to him financially draining me, it also said nothing about removing my name from the lease (yet he wants me to send my key back), and that I left for a reason I don’t care if I’m legally bound to the lease and if my credit gets screwed up, I want nothing to do with him or the apartment. I knew after I left he’d begin with stalking behavior which he has never had an Instagram but the other day it suggested I should follow a new account that has his specific nickname. I was also walking my dog when I saw a car slow down and then speed up that was just like his, I couldn’t see the license plate, but my mom was able to find the clip on her Ring. After I refused to sign the agreement he included in his response “we will see what the judge says this time with my photos and evidence”. I dug my nails into him one of the times that he refused to get off of me and he took playfully took photos, the other evidence is when I was going through a miscarriage and swatted my hand at him after him telling me I can’t have kids because I’m cursed by God and that I’m going to hell, he began filming me saying I attacked him and was crazy and a demon. This is what I’m most nervous about because I did attempt to backhand his arm when he said this. The night before I left the final straw was him blocking me from leaving a room twice and then claiming I pushed him when I squeezed past him to go lock myself in the other room. I could see he was trying to force me into positions where he’d say I was abusive when I tried to defend myself. He’s always said if I ever call the police on him he’d claim he was acting in self defense. The week before I left he thought it was funny to point a loaded AK 47 type of gun at the cats, when I asked him to stop he said the safety was on and that they liked it bc they were sniffing it. I really don’t know if any of his behaviors will matter in court but I did not attack him in the way he is making it sound. I am not the abuser and the last time I tried to get a not contact through my school they retracted it after he called and said I was just trying to get out of paying rent money. I have spoken with an attorney and am getting a no contact order but I know he will try to bring this up against me. Advice in this would be much appreciated, I’m terrified. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I [f30] left him [m33] about a year and a half ago, but I’m still at times processing what was done to me. Most who are close to me know that something violent was going on behind closed doors, but nobody knows the extent of danger and fear I was in for so long. I have a couple of friends who have been through partner violence in some way, and both of them were a huge support to me, but how do I make my other loved ones understand that some of my healing will take time if they haven’t been through it themselves? How do I make them understand that it wasn’t a few isolated incidents, I was essentially living inside a psychological thriller for nine YEARS. That I may be thriving now, and moving on in so many ways, but on days when the abuse I suffered gets to me, can you just let me fucking have this day? What results is this distance from everyone I truly care about. For the most part, they don’t know or can’t appreciate the severity of what I went through. Some have told me they don’t want to know specifics and I fully respect that it’s hard to think of someone you care about in danger. But I could’ve been killed so many times. I was close to being murdered a handful of times. Only my chance or his choice saved me. I went home each night not knowing whether I would be coming out in the morning on my feet or in a body bag. I know these things and some of them don’t. I’m doing ok now, but just, sometimes it’s on my mind and I find that to be perfectly reasonable given what I’ve been through. I give myself time to be sad about it because I know I went through a hell of a time. I also know that when I give myself that time and care I get a little bit stronger. I learn something new. I become less upset by it. I wish my loved ones could support me through this, but I feel like I have to have all my most important healing moments behind closed doors while keeping up a facade of happiness to my loved ones. It feels eerily similar to what I used to do when I was going home to a beating, rather than going home to a good cry and some self care rituals. So, how do I do it? How do I make people understand both the depth and gravity of what I was going through and the additional time it’s going to take me to be “moved on” from it? Any stories, anecdotes advice or support helps. And thanks in advance! | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I [f30] left him [m33] about a year and a half ago, but I’m still at times processing what was done to me. Most who are close to me know that something violent was going on behind closed doors, but nobody knows the extent of danger and fear I was in for so long. I have a couple of friends who have been through partner violence in some way, and both of them were a huge support to me, but how do I make my other loved ones understand that some of my healing will take time if they haven’t been through it themselves? How do I make them understand that it wasn’t a few isolated incidents, I was essentially living inside a psychological thriller for nine YEARS. That I may be thriving now, and moving on in so many ways, but on days when the abuse I suffered gets to me, can you just let me fucking have this day? What results is this distance from everyone I truly care about. For the most part, they don’t know or can’t appreciate the severity of what I went through. Some have told me they don’t want to know specifics and I fully respect that it’s hard to think of someone you care about in danger. But I could’ve been killed so many times. I was close to being murdered a handful of times. Only my chance or his choice saved me. I went home each night not knowing whether I would be coming out in the morning on my feet or in a body bag. I know these things and some of them don’t. I’m doing ok now, but just, sometimes it’s on my mind and I find that to be perfectly reasonable given what I’ve been through. I give myself time to be sad about it because I know I went through a hell of a time. I also know that when I give myself that time and care I get a little bit stronger. I learn something new. I become less upset by it. I wish my loved ones could support me through this, but I feel like I have to have all my most important healing moments behind closed doors while keeping up a facade of happiness to my loved ones. It feels eerily similar to what I used to do when I was going home to a beating, rather than going home to a good cry and some self care rituals. So, how do I do it? How do I make people understand both the depth and gravity of what I was going through and the additional time it’s going to take me to be “moved on” from it? Any stories, anecdotes advice or support helps. And thanks in advance! [/INST] Communication </s> |
This is the millionth time I've tried to write this. I NEED resources ASAP. He terminated our lease, because "I wanted him to". I've planned out this move SO many times, and he has pulled the rug from under EVERY plan. Either he is doing something else, or he's upset I assumed he was doing something else. He says he's giving me money, but won't say how much or even when. I have TWO weeks left to find a place AND a job in Illinois. My oldest is on the spectrum. I have to do this structured. I keep being told moving companies offer help, but the ones I called say it's someone else that does it. WHO does that? Do you know of ANY remote jobs out there that aren't scams? I estimate needing to gross 3k to pay rent. My kids are picking up on my stress... I've BEEN homeless before. It took a whole decade to get where I am now, and this whole thing is so triggering. He's using my success as a survivor as a weapon. He laughed when I cried about having to leave everything I've worked SO hard to build. I have NO help, and yes, I did a GoFundMe. Unfortunately, having to avoid identifying information made it go over like a lead balloon. My brain is so fried from all the added stress I can't think straight.. I'm at the end of my rope. Please. Any helpful advice or encouragement. I'm tired. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> This is the millionth time I've tried to write this. I NEED resources ASAP. He terminated our lease, because "I wanted him to". I've planned out this move SO many times, and he has pulled the rug from under EVERY plan. Either he is doing something else, or he's upset I assumed he was doing something else. He says he's giving me money, but won't say how much or even when. I have TWO weeks left to find a place AND a job in Illinois. My oldest is on the spectrum. I have to do this structured. I keep being told moving companies offer help, but the ones I called say it's someone else that does it. WHO does that? Do you know of ANY remote jobs out there that aren't scams? I estimate needing to gross 3k to pay rent. My kids are picking up on my stress... I've BEEN homeless before. It took a whole decade to get where I am now, and this whole thing is so triggering. He's using my success as a survivor as a weapon. He laughed when I cried about having to leave everything I've worked SO hard to build. I have NO help, and yes, I did a GoFundMe. Unfortunately, having to avoid identifying information made it go over like a lead balloon. My brain is so fried from all the added stress I can't think straight.. I'm at the end of my rope. Please. Any helpful advice or encouragement. I'm tired. [/INST] Communication </s> |
If you've been reading my posts you know what I've gone through to get where I am right now and it has been a long a hard journey. But I've made it this far and I'm really proud of myself for making it this far. However, I'm not out of the woods just yet. My abuser somehow got a plea bargain for his case and gave me a phone number to call to tell the person that I would like to drop charges on him in which he will be home in a month or so. I don't want to call the number. I refuse to do so because, in the past 2 weeks, I learned what he did to me was not normal, that it was abusive and insane and just generally dangerous for me as a person. If I call and drop the charges then I would be in much bigger danger than I was before. In the past 2 weeks, I learned how a normal relationship is supposed to function and how partners are supposed to treat each other. I also learn his intentions, what he was doing and why he was doing it. So I refuse to let myself fall into that trap again. I refuse to allow my dogs to have to go through animal abuse again. I guess what I'm trying to ask here is what should I do now? Should I file a restraining order? My friend suggested that I should file a restraining order. His court hearing is tomorrow at 9 am and he may get a lesser sentence than what was originally given to him and I'm scared that once his sentence is over he is going to just come back in my life and I would be abuse once again. I have reached out to local support groups. I have close friends and family who are just a phone call away, but right now I am by myself. I am living alone in my current apartment complex that he knows the address to and how to get to. I am honestly scared for my life. I am making that change and taking that step to heal but I feel like it's not enough... | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> If you've been reading my posts you know what I've gone through to get where I am right now and it has been a long a hard journey. But I've made it this far and I'm really proud of myself for making it this far. However, I'm not out of the woods just yet. My abuser somehow got a plea bargain for his case and gave me a phone number to call to tell the person that I would like to drop charges on him in which he will be home in a month or so. I don't want to call the number. I refuse to do so because, in the past 2 weeks, I learned what he did to me was not normal, that it was abusive and insane and just generally dangerous for me as a person. If I call and drop the charges then I would be in much bigger danger than I was before. In the past 2 weeks, I learned how a normal relationship is supposed to function and how partners are supposed to treat each other. I also learn his intentions, what he was doing and why he was doing it. So I refuse to let myself fall into that trap again. I refuse to allow my dogs to have to go through animal abuse again. I guess what I'm trying to ask here is what should I do now? Should I file a restraining order? My friend suggested that I should file a restraining order. His court hearing is tomorrow at 9 am and he may get a lesser sentence than what was originally given to him and I'm scared that once his sentence is over he is going to just come back in my life and I would be abuse once again. I have reached out to local support groups. I have close friends and family who are just a phone call away, but right now I am by myself. I am living alone in my current apartment complex that he knows the address to and how to get to. I am honestly scared for my life. I am making that change and taking that step to heal but I feel like it's not enough... [/INST] Communication </s> |
My ex and I started seeing each other a couple months back. I have a 10 year restraining order on him, yes I know. Stupidity and loneliness and 2 failed dating attempts opened the door up for him. The day after Christmas we had a fight where he ended up dragging me about 15 ft by hair, ripping chunks of it out. He also held me down and put a pillow over my face to stop my screaming. Before him I had beautiful hair and used to get many compliments. That never happens anymore. Ever since he’s pulled it out the first few times, it’s much thinner and has become a great insecurity of mine. I feel awful about myself and why I could be so stupid to let him do this to me again. I had made it almost a year no contact with him. My hair had partially grown back and looked more normal just for him to rip all of it out worse than he ever has before. Thankfully my scalp did not bleed or scab so I’m hopeful some of it will grow back. But it’s awful, I can feel the coolness on my bare scalp when the wind blows and I keep obsessing whether or not it’s visible. The worse part is that I still love him and care for him deeply. The cops were called and I cooperated. Now he is in jail for violating the ro, felony domestic violence, felony assault with likely bodily injury, and felony possession of ammunition by prohibited person. I have cooperated with police, but I’ve also accepted his phone calls and wrote him emails. I know I’m fucking stupid. I don’t have much hope. He will probably get out soon thanks to covid. I do miss him and worry about him but I’m so angry for what he’s done to me again. I didn’t do anything to deserve this except hang out with him. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My ex and I started seeing each other a couple months back. I have a 10 year restraining order on him, yes I know. Stupidity and loneliness and 2 failed dating attempts opened the door up for him. The day after Christmas we had a fight where he ended up dragging me about 15 ft by hair, ripping chunks of it out. He also held me down and put a pillow over my face to stop my screaming. Before him I had beautiful hair and used to get many compliments. That never happens anymore. Ever since he’s pulled it out the first few times, it’s much thinner and has become a great insecurity of mine. I feel awful about myself and why I could be so stupid to let him do this to me again. I had made it almost a year no contact with him. My hair had partially grown back and looked more normal just for him to rip all of it out worse than he ever has before. Thankfully my scalp did not bleed or scab so I’m hopeful some of it will grow back. But it’s awful, I can feel the coolness on my bare scalp when the wind blows and I keep obsessing whether or not it’s visible. The worse part is that I still love him and care for him deeply. The cops were called and I cooperated. Now he is in jail for violating the ro, felony domestic violence, felony assault with likely bodily injury, and felony possession of ammunition by prohibited person. I have cooperated with police, but I’ve also accepted his phone calls and wrote him emails. I know I’m fucking stupid. I don’t have much hope. He will probably get out soon thanks to covid. I do miss him and worry about him but I’m so angry for what he’s done to me again. I didn’t do anything to deserve this except hang out with him. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hey, My best friend and mother of my godkids was badly assaulted by her ex at the weekend and during the prolonged attack (which was in-front of the youngest 2) he smashed her mobile and their tv. She has an autistic teenage son and 2 young kids and cannot afford to replace the tv but it’s very important for them, especially the son with autism. I was wondering if there are any charities that might replace broken items for domestic abuse victims? I lost my job during first lockdown otherwise I’d just replace anything for her but sadly I can’t afford to do that right now. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help | Shelters/ DV center/ Agency | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hey, My best friend and mother of my godkids was badly assaulted by her ex at the weekend and during the prolonged attack (which was in-front of the youngest 2) he smashed her mobile and their tv. She has an autistic teenage son and 2 young kids and cannot afford to replace the tv but it’s very important for them, especially the son with autism. I was wondering if there are any charities that might replace broken items for domestic abuse victims? I lost my job during first lockdown otherwise I’d just replace anything for her but sadly I can’t afford to do that right now. Thanks in advance to anyone who can help [/INST] Shelters/ DV center/ Agency </s> |
Hey everyone. My friend in japan has been communicating to me about this terrible physically and mentally abusive relationship she’s in. She has severe depression and anxiety and is suicidal and her boyfriend probably can’t handle it and he lashes out and hit her and chokes her and punches her and blames it on her mental issues. He has called the police on her before after he hits her and the police are fairly aware of the situation because they go to the police so often. The last time this happened was two nights ago on her birthday and she sent me pictures of the aftermath and I have never seen such deep bruising in my entire life. He called the police on her... idk why but even the police officers told her that it was her fault because she “promised” she wouldn’t have anxiety or depression anymore. He left her alone at the police station and was acting level headed so he could push the narrative that she’s the crazy one. I just want to know if you think people like this can change, or can their relationship change. I had enough of her calling me once a week telling me her boyfriend had beaten her so badly and then they go out to dinner and she thinks he’s magically changed and is fine. I’m genuinely scared for her because she has lost so much weight due to the stress and now weighs 85 pounds. It’s violence happens literally all the time and he called her after her birthday to say it’s not just her fault and she doesn’t need to be scared and he sent her a present and all of a sudden she’s back to believing he can change. Do you think this behavior can change? He doesn’t seem to want to do some aggressive type or therapy and laughs at his “mistakes” of abusing when he is at therapy. I just want your opinions because I’ve never been in a relationship like this but it seems so far gone that he has no hope at all. He honestly disgusts me. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hey everyone. My friend in japan has been communicating to me about this terrible physically and mentally abusive relationship she’s in. She has severe depression and anxiety and is suicidal and her boyfriend probably can’t handle it and he lashes out and hit her and chokes her and punches her and blames it on her mental issues. He has called the police on her before after he hits her and the police are fairly aware of the situation because they go to the police so often. The last time this happened was two nights ago on her birthday and she sent me pictures of the aftermath and I have never seen such deep bruising in my entire life. He called the police on her... idk why but even the police officers told her that it was her fault because she “promised” she wouldn’t have anxiety or depression anymore. He left her alone at the police station and was acting level headed so he could push the narrative that she’s the crazy one. I just want to know if you think people like this can change, or can their relationship change. I had enough of her calling me once a week telling me her boyfriend had beaten her so badly and then they go out to dinner and she thinks he’s magically changed and is fine. I’m genuinely scared for her because she has lost so much weight due to the stress and now weighs 85 pounds. It’s violence happens literally all the time and he called her after her birthday to say it’s not just her fault and she doesn’t need to be scared and he sent her a present and all of a sudden she’s back to believing he can change. Do you think this behavior can change? He doesn’t seem to want to do some aggressive type or therapy and laughs at his “mistakes” of abusing when he is at therapy. I just want your opinions because I’ve never been in a relationship like this but it seems so far gone that he has no hope at all. He honestly disgusts me. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I'm not sure if this would need a trigger warning or not. Today, my husband came home after a morning out, screaming and calling me names, and making untrue accusations. I wanted to get away from him, so I went in our room and locked the door. I knew he was coming after me so I sat with my back bracing the door and hands dug into the carpet to try and keep it shut. He broke through and continue yelling at me. I went to the next open room - the master bathroom - and again tried holding the door with my back. Of course it didn't work, but I was scared and felt like I needed to try. He was still shouting but allowed me to walk past him. He was yelling from our kitchen, I stayed in the hallway and tried to take a picture of our broken doors before he could fix them. He caught me and shoulder checked me against the wall and grabbed my phone to keep. By this time, I'm telling him I need it back so I can call my parents to come get me. I don't know how, but somehow we made it from the hall into the kitchen and he is yelling that he will call my parents and I can wait outside and have my phone back after they arrive etc. That was no dice for me, so I tried to get my phone out of his pocket (dumb, i know) and he shoved me down to the ground screaming at me and telling my kids inappropriate and untrue things to try and turn them against me. I called the police. I feel stupid because all I've got is a bruised shoulder and some scratches or something on my back - it was such a mild thing to call over. He tried telling the police I was abusing him in the altercation, but I never shoved back or anything, maybe pushed a little to try and prevent a fall? It's a blur honestly. The police officer told me to call the prosecution in the morning to let them know if I want to press charges and...I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying my best friend if I do. I can't help but feel like what he did wasn't actually abuse and I'm just overreacting. Here I am, laying in our bed cuddled up to his pillow and wearing my wedding ring as well as his, missing him and wishing he was here to hold me. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remind myself that two nights ago he shoved me off our bed and ripped pages out of one of my book and threw them on me while shouting and name calling. Then after he was done, and I couldn't move from fear, he picked me up off the ground and held me and told me that he didn't mean to and he could never hurt me, etc. I guess since he has never and doesn't hit me, it feels like it doesn't qualify as abuse, if that makes sense. So many people go through so much worse, maybe I'm just the boy who cried wolf. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, and every hour that gets closer to the time I have to call is agonizing because I know I still won't have an answer. What if calling was the worst mistake of my life? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I'm not sure if this would need a trigger warning or not. Today, my husband came home after a morning out, screaming and calling me names, and making untrue accusations. I wanted to get away from him, so I went in our room and locked the door. I knew he was coming after me so I sat with my back bracing the door and hands dug into the carpet to try and keep it shut. He broke through and continue yelling at me. I went to the next open room - the master bathroom - and again tried holding the door with my back. Of course it didn't work, but I was scared and felt like I needed to try. He was still shouting but allowed me to walk past him. He was yelling from our kitchen, I stayed in the hallway and tried to take a picture of our broken doors before he could fix them. He caught me and shoulder checked me against the wall and grabbed my phone to keep. By this time, I'm telling him I need it back so I can call my parents to come get me. I don't know how, but somehow we made it from the hall into the kitchen and he is yelling that he will call my parents and I can wait outside and have my phone back after they arrive etc. That was no dice for me, so I tried to get my phone out of his pocket (dumb, i know) and he shoved me down to the ground screaming at me and telling my kids inappropriate and untrue things to try and turn them against me. I called the police. I feel stupid because all I've got is a bruised shoulder and some scratches or something on my back - it was such a mild thing to call over. He tried telling the police I was abusing him in the altercation, but I never shoved back or anything, maybe pushed a little to try and prevent a fall? It's a blur honestly. The police officer told me to call the prosecution in the morning to let them know if I want to press charges and...I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. I can't help but feel like I'm betraying my best friend if I do. I can't help but feel like what he did wasn't actually abuse and I'm just overreacting. Here I am, laying in our bed cuddled up to his pillow and wearing my wedding ring as well as his, missing him and wishing he was here to hold me. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to remind myself that two nights ago he shoved me off our bed and ripped pages out of one of my book and threw them on me while shouting and name calling. Then after he was done, and I couldn't move from fear, he picked me up off the ground and held me and told me that he didn't mean to and he could never hurt me, etc. I guess since he has never and doesn't hit me, it feels like it doesn't qualify as abuse, if that makes sense. So many people go through so much worse, maybe I'm just the boy who cried wolf. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, and every hour that gets closer to the time I have to call is agonizing because I know I still won't have an answer. What if calling was the worst mistake of my life? [/INST] Communication </s> |
What great advice do you have for those currently in an abusive relationship, for those planning to leave, or for those that have just gotten out of an abusive relationship? Maybe the adviceinformation was given to you by someone else, maybe you came across it online, or maybe you found out the hard way. Let’s inform and empower each other! Me? I have been in an abusive marriage for 10 years and I’m finally getting ready to leave. About two weeks ago, my husband was using my Facebook on my iPad to access Facebook Marketplace. He doesn’t have his own account. I had just gotten to a place where I had decided to leave and was going to tell my closest friends. That’s when I realized that I had all my texts and iMessages going to both my phone and my iPad. I quietly turned that feature off, told my friends not to use Facebook Messenger to contact me anymore, and deleted our Messenger conversations. This could have unknowingly put me in a very dangerous position and it had never even crossed my mind. So, what about you? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> What great advice do you have for those currently in an abusive relationship, for those planning to leave, or for those that have just gotten out of an abusive relationship? Maybe the adviceinformation was given to you by someone else, maybe you came across it online, or maybe you found out the hard way. Let’s inform and empower each other! Me? I have been in an abusive marriage for 10 years and I’m finally getting ready to leave. About two weeks ago, my husband was using my Facebook on my iPad to access Facebook Marketplace. He doesn’t have his own account. I had just gotten to a place where I had decided to leave and was going to tell my closest friends. That’s when I realized that I had all my texts and iMessages going to both my phone and my iPad. I quietly turned that feature off, told my friends not to use Facebook Messenger to contact me anymore, and deleted our Messenger conversations. This could have unknowingly put me in a very dangerous position and it had never even crossed my mind. So, what about you? [/INST] Communication </s> |
Me (20F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 2,5 years now, living together for 2 years. I originally posted this on another page, but got send here. I'm sorry for some grammatical mistakes, my English isn't that great. Just a little backstory, my boyfriend has always been a bit of an aggressive person, not really like fighting, but he gets mad pretty easily. He used scream at customer service people, whenever a company would made a mistake. It seems like he's taking these mistakes as some kind of personal issue. Since this gives some inconveniences in life, he started working on it and it actually got a lot better. Lately my boyfriend and I have been fighting some more than we used to. Most fights are about pretty small things, like him always throwing his dirty laundry on the floor, instead of in the laundry basket. So when I tell him stuff like that bothers me, he says I'm his girlfriend and not his mom, so I shouldn't complain about things like that. This upsets me a little, because I'm not trying to complain, I just want to express to him that some of these things just bother me. So skip to a couple of weeks ago, we had a big fight and we were both pretty mad. In fights I tend to go from mad to crying, when I realise that I don't want to fight. So I walked way and laid down on the bed to cry and calm down a bit. He walked right behind me and when I laid down, he started hitting me on the back of my head. After his fists hit my head a couple of times he left and I cried some more. Although my head did hurt for a week, it feels like it hurt me more mentally than it did physically. I tried to forgive him, but I'm just kind of scared of him now. Since that day I've been drinking a lot every day, because I'm just not able to proces it well. Then this monday he actually told me I should leave, because he didn't want to be with me anymore, he got mad about me not wanting psychical contant in thse last weeks. After he said that, it seemed like he changed his mind and wants me to stay. So we decided to talk about everything that happened, which brings us to today. I told him that I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive him for hitting me, because it still hurts me a lot mentally. He said sorry for hitting me and told me he won't ever do it again and that he just lost control. I'm really unsure about what I should do, because I love him, but I'm just having a really hard time dealing with this mentally. Does it get better and will the fear go away? Is it likely that he will do it again? Will I be able to forgive him in time? I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, I don't want to offend real victims of domestic abuse by posting my story here. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Me (20F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 2,5 years now, living together for 2 years. I originally posted this on another page, but got send here. I'm sorry for some grammatical mistakes, my English isn't that great. Just a little backstory, my boyfriend has always been a bit of an aggressive person, not really like fighting, but he gets mad pretty easily. He used scream at customer service people, whenever a company would made a mistake. It seems like he's taking these mistakes as some kind of personal issue. Since this gives some inconveniences in life, he started working on it and it actually got a lot better. Lately my boyfriend and I have been fighting some more than we used to. Most fights are about pretty small things, like him always throwing his dirty laundry on the floor, instead of in the laundry basket. So when I tell him stuff like that bothers me, he says I'm his girlfriend and not his mom, so I shouldn't complain about things like that. This upsets me a little, because I'm not trying to complain, I just want to express to him that some of these things just bother me. So skip to a couple of weeks ago, we had a big fight and we were both pretty mad. In fights I tend to go from mad to crying, when I realise that I don't want to fight. So I walked way and laid down on the bed to cry and calm down a bit. He walked right behind me and when I laid down, he started hitting me on the back of my head. After his fists hit my head a couple of times he left and I cried some more. Although my head did hurt for a week, it feels like it hurt me more mentally than it did physically. I tried to forgive him, but I'm just kind of scared of him now. Since that day I've been drinking a lot every day, because I'm just not able to proces it well. Then this monday he actually told me I should leave, because he didn't want to be with me anymore, he got mad about me not wanting psychical contant in thse last weeks. After he said that, it seemed like he changed his mind and wants me to stay. So we decided to talk about everything that happened, which brings us to today. I told him that I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive him for hitting me, because it still hurts me a lot mentally. He said sorry for hitting me and told me he won't ever do it again and that he just lost control. I'm really unsure about what I should do, because I love him, but I'm just having a really hard time dealing with this mentally. Does it get better and will the fear go away? Is it likely that he will do it again? Will I be able to forgive him in time? I'm sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, I don't want to offend real victims of domestic abuse by posting my story here. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
Idk... i can’t stop crying I don’t even know where to start so I’m just gonna list what he did last night and what he’s done before... he said he loved me I’m so confused... it hurts He got upset because I was texting a coworker flirting... told me I was a hoe and a bitch and to get the fuck out at 3-4 am while I’m drunk... - he found his address and threatened to find the guy and hurt him - he hit me in the head - grabbed my face and threw me around - when I locked myself in his car he pulled my hair from the window - I begged and begged and said I loved him to let me stay he said he doesn’t give a fuck and to get out I’m not wanted - he let me sleep until I was sober enough but then left on the couch took all the blankets and pillows and left me there and said I didn’t deserve a blanket Before last night -Kicked me out his house numerous of times -He choked me and hit my head against a wall -He put a gun to my face and made me call my friend on FaceTime to see how much of a whore I am -Threw my phone and purse out and say I’m his and I’m not going anywhere -Said he could make me disappear and no one will ever see me again - Straddled on top of me and took both of his hands and choked me until I blacked out -He laughed when I woke up gasping for air -Threw my phone on the floor and his and said if I touch either one I’m dead -He’s thrown his dog across the room in front of me and kicked her repeatedly and made me watch -Reached his hand in my car grabbed my neck and choked me -Slammed my shoulder against my car door -Knocked me upside the head -Left marks on my neck that will probably scar and burn because of how hard he was choking me -Made me call male friends to end friendships and block them -Shot at my friends building while I’m in the car -Made me tell My friend at the gas station in person won’t see him anymore and steal from the gas station -Poured lighter fluid all over my clothes the night before work I feel so pathetic and like trash. Like I’m nothing. I cried and begged I made him food. I feel so dumb. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Idk... i can’t stop crying I don’t even know where to start so I’m just gonna list what he did last night and what he’s done before... he said he loved me I’m so confused... it hurts He got upset because I was texting a coworker flirting... told me I was a hoe and a bitch and to get the fuck out at 3-4 am while I’m drunk... - he found his address and threatened to find the guy and hurt him - he hit me in the head - grabbed my face and threw me around - when I locked myself in his car he pulled my hair from the window - I begged and begged and said I loved him to let me stay he said he doesn’t give a fuck and to get out I’m not wanted - he let me sleep until I was sober enough but then left on the couch took all the blankets and pillows and left me there and said I didn’t deserve a blanket Before last night -Kicked me out his house numerous of times -He choked me and hit my head against a wall -He put a gun to my face and made me call my friend on FaceTime to see how much of a whore I am -Threw my phone and purse out and say I’m his and I’m not going anywhere -Said he could make me disappear and no one will ever see me again - Straddled on top of me and took both of his hands and choked me until I blacked out -He laughed when I woke up gasping for air -Threw my phone on the floor and his and said if I touch either one I’m dead -He’s thrown his dog across the room in front of me and kicked her repeatedly and made me watch -Reached his hand in my car grabbed my neck and choked me -Slammed my shoulder against my car door -Knocked me upside the head -Left marks on my neck that will probably scar and burn because of how hard he was choking me -Made me call male friends to end friendships and block them -Shot at my friends building while I’m in the car -Made me tell My friend at the gas station in person won’t see him anymore and steal from the gas station -Poured lighter fluid all over my clothes the night before work I feel so pathetic and like trash. Like I’m nothing. I cried and begged I made him food. I feel so dumb. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I have a downstairs neighbor who is ((at the VERY LEAST )) being emotionally abused by her husband. He yells at her and their children almost every waking moment--I know, I work from home now...He also slams every door in his house CONSTANTLY which doesn't really bother us upstairs but I know that slammingthrowing things is usually a sign of escalation. I can't just sit idly by. It is literally not in my DNA...How can I help? Even now, he has been yelling for HOURS. I gave her my phone number recently when he left one day and I heard him screaming about it so I think that he found it or she told him? I hope that's not the case... I'm not sure what to do... | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I have a downstairs neighbor who is ((at the VERY LEAST )) being emotionally abused by her husband. He yells at her and their children almost every waking moment--I know, I work from home now...He also slams every door in his house CONSTANTLY which doesn't really bother us upstairs but I know that slammingthrowing things is usually a sign of escalation. I can't just sit idly by. It is literally not in my DNA...How can I help? Even now, he has been yelling for HOURS. I gave her my phone number recently when he left one day and I heard him screaming about it so I think that he found it or she told him? I hope that's not the case... I'm not sure what to do... [/INST] Communication </s> |
Tonight he was really high. I lost a patient today and was a bit upset and he wasn’t okay with that I guess. He hit me and shoved me and choked me and I was so scared. It has never been this bad before. I don’t think I have ever been so scared. He was talking about killing me and himself and he’s asleep now and I’m so tired but I’m so afraid to fall asleep. I told a friend and asked him to call the cops if I didn’t check in but I backed out and asked him not to because I was so scared. I know it’s not my fault, I’ve read all the stuff and my friend tells me it’s not but it really feels that way. I don’t know what to do anymore | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Tonight he was really high. I lost a patient today and was a bit upset and he wasn’t okay with that I guess. He hit me and shoved me and choked me and I was so scared. It has never been this bad before. I don’t think I have ever been so scared. He was talking about killing me and himself and he’s asleep now and I’m so tired but I’m so afraid to fall asleep. I told a friend and asked him to call the cops if I didn’t check in but I backed out and asked him not to because I was so scared. I know it’s not my fault, I’ve read all the stuff and my friend tells me it’s not but it really feels that way. I don’t know what to do anymore [/INST] Communication </s> |
My boyfriend and I just moved into a new place this week, a two-family home split straight down the middle, with several roommates (who already lived here). Tonight around 6 p.m., my boyfriend and I heard respectively, “can anyone hear me” and “help me”, but somewhat muffled and neither of us could tell where it was coming from or whether we heard it correctly. There was a ton of screaming so my boyfriend ran outside but no one was there and after that we didn’t hear anything else. We had no way of knowing where it was coming from and if we heard correctly, and this would be a terrible neighborhood to bring police into on vague accusations of harm. We decided to keep an eye and ear out for anything else - I’m not sure if we made a mistake here. Around 1:30 tonight we heard two women arguing, mostly what sounded like the woman from earlier. Lot’s of screaming. “I’m going to fucking murder you!”, and it really sounded like the woman who screamed around 6, but we don’t want to say we’re certain. However if it wasn’t her, there would have had to been four people there, because the third voice was distinct. That voice said “don’t do it dont do it don’t do it”. Extremely loud screaming. There was crashing and bumping and lots of noise, it shook our room multiple times -really intense. I heard a man’s voice - not yelling, so not distinct enough to know what he said - and some more movement and nothing since then. I’m very frightened but also very confused about what is even going on here - what should we do? We didn’t know it was coming from next door earlier, and of course we cannot and would not just ignore this - but I’m terrified of endangering anyone’s safety by involving the police. I’m sure this is an incredibly delicate situation and I am really just terrified for whoever is in that house. | Police | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My boyfriend and I just moved into a new place this week, a two-family home split straight down the middle, with several roommates (who already lived here). Tonight around 6 p.m., my boyfriend and I heard respectively, “can anyone hear me” and “help me”, but somewhat muffled and neither of us could tell where it was coming from or whether we heard it correctly. There was a ton of screaming so my boyfriend ran outside but no one was there and after that we didn’t hear anything else. We had no way of knowing where it was coming from and if we heard correctly, and this would be a terrible neighborhood to bring police into on vague accusations of harm. We decided to keep an eye and ear out for anything else - I’m not sure if we made a mistake here. Around 1:30 tonight we heard two women arguing, mostly what sounded like the woman from earlier. Lot’s of screaming. “I’m going to fucking murder you!”, and it really sounded like the woman who screamed around 6, but we don’t want to say we’re certain. However if it wasn’t her, there would have had to been four people there, because the third voice was distinct. That voice said “don’t do it dont do it don’t do it”. Extremely loud screaming. There was crashing and bumping and lots of noise, it shook our room multiple times -really intense. I heard a man’s voice - not yelling, so not distinct enough to know what he said - and some more movement and nothing since then. I’m very frightened but also very confused about what is even going on here - what should we do? We didn’t know it was coming from next door earlier, and of course we cannot and would not just ignore this - but I’m terrified of endangering anyone’s safety by involving the police. I’m sure this is an incredibly delicate situation and I am really just terrified for whoever is in that house. [/INST] Police </s> |
My sister has been in a long term relationship with an abusive boyfriend for the last several years (maybe around 8 or 9?). She has a son by another man that is now turning 14. Our mom has told me for awhile about the boyfriend’s violent behavior, but he is always extremely nice to me and my sister never said anything to me. My mom is bipolar and can really escalate things and blow them out of proportion. I didn’t think she was lying, but I did think she was exaggerating some. I’ve asked my sister in the past and she’s responded with, “You know how mom is,” and told me I had nothing to worry about. Tonight my mom called me with my nephew in the car. A fight broke out at my sister’s and the boyfriend attacked my nephew, then attacked my sister when she tried to break it up. My sister is 7 months pregnant. My nephew ran from the house, calling my mom to pick him up from the street in the neighborhood. My mind is really blown about the extent of this. My nephew and I talked for awhile for the first time about this. He came clean to me about the abuse, which seems to be both physical and mental and both targeted at him and my sister. It’s absolutely unacceptable that this man is putting hands on my nephew and my sister. My nephew asked me to fly home (I live in another state) to talk to my sister. My mom would like me to come and stage an intervention. I am planning on going in the next few days, but I’m unsure of how to handle the situation. As I said, my sister is pregnant and she’s not going to leave this man (although she is the primary bread winner in the family and could if not for the emotionally complicated piece of it), but my nephew is terrified and says he feels unsafe at home. I feel we need to protect him, but I also feel loyal toward my sister and her autonomy over her life and son. Finally, this man is not what I would call emotionally intelligent. He’s not going to see the error of his ways because we all come together to tell him how worried we are about them. I don’t think he’d agree to go to counseling or therapy either. Does anyone have any help or resources? Should I hire someone qualified to help us with intervening? They are in California, if that is helpful. Please, if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it! I’m worried for my nephew and want to help him in whatever way I can. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My sister has been in a long term relationship with an abusive boyfriend for the last several years (maybe around 8 or 9?). She has a son by another man that is now turning 14. Our mom has told me for awhile about the boyfriend’s violent behavior, but he is always extremely nice to me and my sister never said anything to me. My mom is bipolar and can really escalate things and blow them out of proportion. I didn’t think she was lying, but I did think she was exaggerating some. I’ve asked my sister in the past and she’s responded with, “You know how mom is,” and told me I had nothing to worry about. Tonight my mom called me with my nephew in the car. A fight broke out at my sister’s and the boyfriend attacked my nephew, then attacked my sister when she tried to break it up. My sister is 7 months pregnant. My nephew ran from the house, calling my mom to pick him up from the street in the neighborhood. My mind is really blown about the extent of this. My nephew and I talked for awhile for the first time about this. He came clean to me about the abuse, which seems to be both physical and mental and both targeted at him and my sister. It’s absolutely unacceptable that this man is putting hands on my nephew and my sister. My nephew asked me to fly home (I live in another state) to talk to my sister. My mom would like me to come and stage an intervention. I am planning on going in the next few days, but I’m unsure of how to handle the situation. As I said, my sister is pregnant and she’s not going to leave this man (although she is the primary bread winner in the family and could if not for the emotionally complicated piece of it), but my nephew is terrified and says he feels unsafe at home. I feel we need to protect him, but I also feel loyal toward my sister and her autonomy over her life and son. Finally, this man is not what I would call emotionally intelligent. He’s not going to see the error of his ways because we all come together to tell him how worried we are about them. I don’t think he’d agree to go to counseling or therapy either. Does anyone have any help or resources? Should I hire someone qualified to help us with intervening? They are in California, if that is helpful. Please, if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it! I’m worried for my nephew and want to help him in whatever way I can. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I've called the police three times now, on my mum's husband for domestic abuse. But they won't do anything. Each time I report him, they don't go into it in detail. They don't even bother. The first time, a knife was pulled on my mum with death threats to both of us. The second time, he tried to choke me and after that, while I was calling the police, there was more death threats. The last time, which was about 2 days ago, he beat my mum so hard that she has dents in her forehead and under her eye, she also has a split lip, and he broke her phone in half. She's with me now (I live separately with my grandma and someone else, she lived with him and my 1 year old step sister but now she and the sister are here). No matter how much I tell them, how much physical and verbal pain he gives, they won't do anything. Everyday I wake up I live with the fear that he might kill me, or my mum, or both. I'm only 17, and I want to get out, but I can't do anything. My college (UK) knows about this too, but there's not much they can really do - they have their own police too, but at this point I don't think going there will help. I never thought that my life would end up like this, and if I'm being honest, I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this hell until he kills me. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I've called the police three times now, on my mum's husband for domestic abuse. But they won't do anything. Each time I report him, they don't go into it in detail. They don't even bother. The first time, a knife was pulled on my mum with death threats to both of us. The second time, he tried to choke me and after that, while I was calling the police, there was more death threats. The last time, which was about 2 days ago, he beat my mum so hard that she has dents in her forehead and under her eye, she also has a split lip, and he broke her phone in half. She's with me now (I live separately with my grandma and someone else, she lived with him and my 1 year old step sister but now she and the sister are here). No matter how much I tell them, how much physical and verbal pain he gives, they won't do anything. Everyday I wake up I live with the fear that he might kill me, or my mum, or both. I'm only 17, and I want to get out, but I can't do anything. My college (UK) knows about this too, but there's not much they can really do - they have their own police too, but at this point I don't think going there will help. I never thought that my life would end up like this, and if I'm being honest, I feel like I'm going to be stuck in this hell until he kills me. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I'm just now going through a breakup with a man who has been abusive towards me for about a year. I got pregnant by him... and so I moved in with him at his grandmas because I was overwhelmed about going through pregnancy and parenting all alone. Plus he has a close knit big family id also be able to rely on for baby care. Last night.. he got angry at me and it resulted in him picking up my cat and throwing her outside... I went looking for her but couldn't find her. Then later on in the night as I was packing all my things to leave and he said he didn't even throw her out he just put her in the living room but that he wasn't going to give her back he was going to get rid of her, then the next morning (I'm staying in a hotel right now) I went back to get her and he said he looked for her but she's gone. I don't know what to DO. How do you even deal with this. She was my BEST FRIEND. One of the closest cats to me I've ever had (raising her in quarentine). And now she's just... gone... and tomorrow I have to make the 4 hour drive back to where my mom lives. And she's just gone forever. I don't know what to do. How to feel. If what he did was illegal. If I can use that in court if he tries to take the baby when it comes... I just... I don't know. | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I'm just now going through a breakup with a man who has been abusive towards me for about a year. I got pregnant by him... and so I moved in with him at his grandmas because I was overwhelmed about going through pregnancy and parenting all alone. Plus he has a close knit big family id also be able to rely on for baby care. Last night.. he got angry at me and it resulted in him picking up my cat and throwing her outside... I went looking for her but couldn't find her. Then later on in the night as I was packing all my things to leave and he said he didn't even throw her out he just put her in the living room but that he wasn't going to give her back he was going to get rid of her, then the next morning (I'm staying in a hotel right now) I went back to get her and he said he looked for her but she's gone. I don't know what to DO. How do you even deal with this. She was my BEST FRIEND. One of the closest cats to me I've ever had (raising her in quarentine). And now she's just... gone... and tomorrow I have to make the 4 hour drive back to where my mom lives. And she's just gone forever. I don't know what to do. How to feel. If what he did was illegal. If I can use that in court if he tries to take the baby when it comes... I just... I don't know. [/INST] Legal </s> |
Sorry for blowing up this thread but it feels like my one and only outlet right now. I’m tossing and turning. My heart aches yet I’m angry. Right now I keep thinking about when they say you bring a monster out of them. What kind of bs is that? If it’s true that he shut the door on me because he thinks I’m no good for him or he doesn’t like who he is around me- that’s bs. HIS actions are not MY fault. HIS choices are his alone. I loved him IN SPITE of himself. But I bring out a monster in him? So what he rather take the easy way out and ignore the root of his issue rather than work it out with me alongside him? Or just be with someone else until she figures out who he is and keep trading one person for another? If I’m not the one worth bettering himself over- then he can go to hell. He betrayed me in about a billion different ways. Karma can have him. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Sorry for blowing up this thread but it feels like my one and only outlet right now. I’m tossing and turning. My heart aches yet I’m angry. Right now I keep thinking about when they say you bring a monster out of them. What kind of bs is that? If it’s true that he shut the door on me because he thinks I’m no good for him or he doesn’t like who he is around me- that’s bs. HIS actions are not MY fault. HIS choices are his alone. I loved him IN SPITE of himself. But I bring out a monster in him? So what he rather take the easy way out and ignore the root of his issue rather than work it out with me alongside him? Or just be with someone else until she figures out who he is and keep trading one person for another? If I’m not the one worth bettering himself over- then he can go to hell. He betrayed me in about a billion different ways. Karma can have him. [/INST] Communication </s> |
We have been together for a bit over a year. Red flags from the beginning including knowing about his past. Wanted to believe him anyways. Emotional, physical. And mental abuse. With the majority of physical abuse involving choking me. He now is trying to force me to be poly because he claims it will be good for my depression oh and because I’m overweight. I don’t want to be poly and have brought up the fact that if he abuses her, he could go to jail. He didn’t care for that. And then he says he loves me and misses me when we aren’t together. But how could this be love. How can you be so cruel to someone who you say you love. We have swung with other couples, again something he wanted. But I have told him that poly was a dealbreaker fir me but now he says he needs it. That I have no choice. We have to do it. The idea of him kissing and loving another woman is like a dagger to my heart. I can’t handle it. But then the rational part of me thinks this would be a good way to try to leave safely. He made a comment last night that he knows we will die together, hopefully it will be when we are old. And laughed and said I misunderstood him when I mentioned that it sounded like a murder suicide situation. I guess I just needed to get this out. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> We have been together for a bit over a year. Red flags from the beginning including knowing about his past. Wanted to believe him anyways. Emotional, physical. And mental abuse. With the majority of physical abuse involving choking me. He now is trying to force me to be poly because he claims it will be good for my depression oh and because I’m overweight. I don’t want to be poly and have brought up the fact that if he abuses her, he could go to jail. He didn’t care for that. And then he says he loves me and misses me when we aren’t together. But how could this be love. How can you be so cruel to someone who you say you love. We have swung with other couples, again something he wanted. But I have told him that poly was a dealbreaker fir me but now he says he needs it. That I have no choice. We have to do it. The idea of him kissing and loving another woman is like a dagger to my heart. I can’t handle it. But then the rational part of me thinks this would be a good way to try to leave safely. He made a comment last night that he knows we will die together, hopefully it will be when we are old. And laughed and said I misunderstood him when I mentioned that it sounded like a murder suicide situation. I guess I just needed to get this out. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Why do we attract these people is it because we are too soft or lenient with negative behaviour? Is it because we are too desperate im so fed up | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Why do we attract these people is it because we are too soft or lenient with negative behaviour? Is it because we are too desperate im so fed up [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
(Lengthy) I’m 23 and my bf is 30. We met a year ago, started dating in august and in a relationship January. A couple of days before Valentine’s Day he blacked out on alcohol and attacked me. I explained in another sub the details of the incident. He left me with broken and bleeding nails, bruised back from pushing me down multiple times, punched me, pulled my hair and prevented me from leaving his apartment. The police showed up but we didn’t answer. Once they left he held a knife to his neck threatening to kill himself if I walk out. He tried to get to his safe where I assume there was a gun. I wouldn’t allow him to get to it because I was terrified. I stayed with him for the night because I couldn’t go home to my family in the condition I was in. The next day he blamed everything on the alcohol and begged me not to leave him. That he loves me and I’m his everything. If I leave I’ll be taking everything away from him. He began to lovebomb me with gifts and treats. Ever since this happened I emotionally checked out. he begged me for another chance. He blew up my phone and showed up to my house unannounced begging to make things right, so I gave in. A couple of weeks past and during an argument I brought up his abuse and he said “how long are you gonna hold that against me?? You know that wasn’t me it was the alcohol”. It has only been two weeks and he expected me to forgive and forget before my wounds were healed. I told him he’s has an addiction and all he did was deflect to the only time I got sick from drinking, compared to the multiple times I took care of his drunk ass. I never met anyone who mixes Taylor port and Hennessy everyday all day and swear they don’t have a drinking problem. It was so disgusting to watch him drink. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t talk much or have sex with him. He thought I was torturing him for no reason. A few weeks ago my mom got terribly sick and I was stressed out. I wouldn’t answer his calls as I was busy taking care of stuff. He sent me an angry text and said “you act like I’m the one who got your mom sick”. Idk what is was about that one phrase that sent me through the roof. I told him we’re over and to leave me alone. Of course he showed up to my house unannounced and brought me a bag full of candy and a bunch of apologies. We had a short conversation when he realized I was serious he snatch the bag and threw it into traffic. He called me the next day asking if this is what I really want. He sent threatening text messages and says he has enough money to run if he does dirt. Yesterday he said it’s not over unless HE says it’s over. He really believes this relationship is able to be salvaged. He wants to talk to me in person but I refuse to because I’m scared. I’m exhausted and I’m not sure what else he is capable of. Especially since I’ve only started to get to know him a few months ago. I told him I won’t press charges but if it gets to that point I will have no other choice but to. I have not told anybody except Reddit smh. I’ve never endured anything like this. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> (Lengthy) I’m 23 and my bf is 30. We met a year ago, started dating in august and in a relationship January. A couple of days before Valentine’s Day he blacked out on alcohol and attacked me. I explained in another sub the details of the incident. He left me with broken and bleeding nails, bruised back from pushing me down multiple times, punched me, pulled my hair and prevented me from leaving his apartment. The police showed up but we didn’t answer. Once they left he held a knife to his neck threatening to kill himself if I walk out. He tried to get to his safe where I assume there was a gun. I wouldn’t allow him to get to it because I was terrified. I stayed with him for the night because I couldn’t go home to my family in the condition I was in. The next day he blamed everything on the alcohol and begged me not to leave him. That he loves me and I’m his everything. If I leave I’ll be taking everything away from him. He began to lovebomb me with gifts and treats. Ever since this happened I emotionally checked out. he begged me for another chance. He blew up my phone and showed up to my house unannounced begging to make things right, so I gave in. A couple of weeks past and during an argument I brought up his abuse and he said “how long are you gonna hold that against me?? You know that wasn’t me it was the alcohol”. It has only been two weeks and he expected me to forgive and forget before my wounds were healed. I told him he’s has an addiction and all he did was deflect to the only time I got sick from drinking, compared to the multiple times I took care of his drunk ass. I never met anyone who mixes Taylor port and Hennessy everyday all day and swear they don’t have a drinking problem. It was so disgusting to watch him drink. He didn’t understand why I wouldn’t talk much or have sex with him. He thought I was torturing him for no reason. A few weeks ago my mom got terribly sick and I was stressed out. I wouldn’t answer his calls as I was busy taking care of stuff. He sent me an angry text and said “you act like I’m the one who got your mom sick”. Idk what is was about that one phrase that sent me through the roof. I told him we’re over and to leave me alone. Of course he showed up to my house unannounced and brought me a bag full of candy and a bunch of apologies. We had a short conversation when he realized I was serious he snatch the bag and threw it into traffic. He called me the next day asking if this is what I really want. He sent threatening text messages and says he has enough money to run if he does dirt. Yesterday he said it’s not over unless HE says it’s over. He really believes this relationship is able to be salvaged. He wants to talk to me in person but I refuse to because I’m scared. I’m exhausted and I’m not sure what else he is capable of. Especially since I’ve only started to get to know him a few months ago. I told him I won’t press charges but if it gets to that point I will have no other choice but to. I have not told anybody except Reddit smh. I’ve never endured anything like this. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My sister is getting a divorce from her abuser but he filed first. We only notice because we looked up public records and there it was on the website. However, yesterday he had a family friend serve my sister, and the document is obviously False and they are trying to pass it as her copy. There's no official stamp, its a response to a divorce, not a petition. On the court website it says a petition was filed. I can add pictures but have to edit out personal info. What can we do? I'm going to call the courts on Monday. Isn't this illegal? I believe they think we are stupid enough to accept it and do nothing with it, so he can get full custody of the children. Edit They also had a lot of mistakes like address and Name. | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My sister is getting a divorce from her abuser but he filed first. We only notice because we looked up public records and there it was on the website. However, yesterday he had a family friend serve my sister, and the document is obviously False and they are trying to pass it as her copy. There's no official stamp, its a response to a divorce, not a petition. On the court website it says a petition was filed. I can add pictures but have to edit out personal info. What can we do? I'm going to call the courts on Monday. Isn't this illegal? I believe they think we are stupid enough to accept it and do nothing with it, so he can get full custody of the children. Edit They also had a lot of mistakes like address and Name. [/INST] Legal </s> |
Two years ago today I left my abuser. I was 21, miserable, and scared for my life. I lived with him so i had to uproot my life with my two cats (my angels) and while it was truly the best decision i ever made, i still feel the same way i did that day. Not sad, because i wanted to leave him for such a long time before i was able to, but just afraid. i spend every day afraid he’s going to lash out at me somehow, somewhere. That i’m going to run into him in public (we’re both from a small town, he doesn’t live here currently but could come back any day since his child is here) and he really IS going to kill me or hurt me again. That he’s going to post the naked pictures and videos that I’m sure he still has of me. I have nightmares where i can’t get away from him, i check every parking lot for his car before i get out of mine, i ask “who’s going to be there?” or “who’s there right now?” every where i go in fear of running into him. Him grabbing me by the hair and dragging me through the whole apartment, giving me rug burn all over my body, hitting my head into the walls and furniture before he threw me out in the snow in my underwear and locked me out there with nothing plays in my head in a loop over and over. the times i said no to sex and fought for a few minutes just to give up and lay there limp and pretend it wasn’t happening because he was bigger than me and was ultimately going to get what he wanted anyway replays over and over. the constant insults and threats he hurled at me “kill yourself” “if you don’t come home right now i will kill your cats “you’re fucking useless” “why are you so fucking dumb” “you’re nothing without me” play on a loop as well. i left the abuse and i still feel so trapped. our mutual friends didn’t believe me, he blasted me on social media calling me a liar repeatedly, I’m no longer in danger but i still live in such fear of him like he’s the boogie man lurking around every corner and i don’t know how to move past it. how do i stop living in fear? will i ever feel like myself again? when will my life stop revolving around the worst thing that ever happened to me? how does he continue to live his life unbothered with such a huge support system? why didn’t they believe me? i’m not even sure that i’m looking for answers here, but no one i’m close to has experienced this and as helpful as they try to be, talking about it makes them uncomfortable and i understand that. it’s just so unfair that someone could do those awful things and then just continue on with their life while i live mine terrified. sorry for the formatting and rant. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Two years ago today I left my abuser. I was 21, miserable, and scared for my life. I lived with him so i had to uproot my life with my two cats (my angels) and while it was truly the best decision i ever made, i still feel the same way i did that day. Not sad, because i wanted to leave him for such a long time before i was able to, but just afraid. i spend every day afraid he’s going to lash out at me somehow, somewhere. That i’m going to run into him in public (we’re both from a small town, he doesn’t live here currently but could come back any day since his child is here) and he really IS going to kill me or hurt me again. That he’s going to post the naked pictures and videos that I’m sure he still has of me. I have nightmares where i can’t get away from him, i check every parking lot for his car before i get out of mine, i ask “who’s going to be there?” or “who’s there right now?” every where i go in fear of running into him. Him grabbing me by the hair and dragging me through the whole apartment, giving me rug burn all over my body, hitting my head into the walls and furniture before he threw me out in the snow in my underwear and locked me out there with nothing plays in my head in a loop over and over. the times i said no to sex and fought for a few minutes just to give up and lay there limp and pretend it wasn’t happening because he was bigger than me and was ultimately going to get what he wanted anyway replays over and over. the constant insults and threats he hurled at me “kill yourself” “if you don’t come home right now i will kill your cats “you’re fucking useless” “why are you so fucking dumb” “you’re nothing without me” play on a loop as well. i left the abuse and i still feel so trapped. our mutual friends didn’t believe me, he blasted me on social media calling me a liar repeatedly, I’m no longer in danger but i still live in such fear of him like he’s the boogie man lurking around every corner and i don’t know how to move past it. how do i stop living in fear? will i ever feel like myself again? when will my life stop revolving around the worst thing that ever happened to me? how does he continue to live his life unbothered with such a huge support system? why didn’t they believe me? i’m not even sure that i’m looking for answers here, but no one i’m close to has experienced this and as helpful as they try to be, talking about it makes them uncomfortable and i understand that. it’s just so unfair that someone could do those awful things and then just continue on with their life while i live mine terrified. sorry for the formatting and rant. [/INST] Communication </s> |
We got married in 2020 after 3 months of dating (now, I can recognize some of the red flags, in hindsight) he "love-bombed" me for straight up 7 months. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, but when we started having financial issues along with other ones, he started being malevolent to me. Emotional, verbal, and physical abuse took place. My friends called the cops on him and he went to jail for one night. After he came out, he went broke, financially to hire lawyers, etc. There were orders of protection in place and other no-contact orders from the military (he works in the military) so we couldn't have a clear conversation and every time we tried some sort of third-party communication thing, everything went left. Now, he's vindictive, he deleted all of my pictures from his social media, hates my guts, is back with his ex, and had some other woman harrass me online. I, on the other hand, can't seem to move on. I spent most of my time romanticizing our broken marriage, thinking that we're still lovers (I know), hating myself for wanting him back, hating him for ruining everything, being scared that he's going to harm me as soon as the order of protection is lifted. Despite all of that, I filed for divorce because he wasn't doing anything; he was just keeping me in a limbo. Why do I still have feelings for him? Why do I want him back? Why can't I just move on? Why do I blame myself for my marriage falling apart? | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> We got married in 2020 after 3 months of dating (now, I can recognize some of the red flags, in hindsight) he "love-bombed" me for straight up 7 months. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, but when we started having financial issues along with other ones, he started being malevolent to me. Emotional, verbal, and physical abuse took place. My friends called the cops on him and he went to jail for one night. After he came out, he went broke, financially to hire lawyers, etc. There were orders of protection in place and other no-contact orders from the military (he works in the military) so we couldn't have a clear conversation and every time we tried some sort of third-party communication thing, everything went left. Now, he's vindictive, he deleted all of my pictures from his social media, hates my guts, is back with his ex, and had some other woman harrass me online. I, on the other hand, can't seem to move on. I spent most of my time romanticizing our broken marriage, thinking that we're still lovers (I know), hating myself for wanting him back, hating him for ruining everything, being scared that he's going to harm me as soon as the order of protection is lifted. Despite all of that, I filed for divorce because he wasn't doing anything; he was just keeping me in a limbo. Why do I still have feelings for him? Why do I want him back? Why can't I just move on? Why do I blame myself for my marriage falling apart? [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I am struggling greatly with processing my situation. The grieving process is..... terrible. It seems like I am battling against anger vs severe depression vs hope every other hour. I’ll try to leave as little context as possible but that might not happen: his first time occurrence led to an arrest for assault. I believe I provoked him and we were equally responsible. The state issued a no contact order and movers were sent to move him out of our home the next day (which killed me.) As I am sure everyone in this group knows, rarely are these overturned. 5-10% to be exact. Over the first week, all I kept thinking was, “for better or worse.” I had lists of contacts and made countless calls and I actually got the DA to lift the no contact order. However, he will not reach out to me, whether because his family has convinced him it is a non-functional relationship or it is of his own accord I don’t think I’ll ever know. I thought it was worth giving him grace. After all, he had given me so much throughout the duration of our time together. I feel like he slammed the door on me. Ghosted me. After being together for years without a single word. Who abandons a person after beating them? I feel like I can forgive the abuse but not the abandonment. I’m enraged. In love. Desperate. Hopeful. Hateful. My family is heartbroken because they loved him and he won’t be around for Christmas. I’m sorry if my situation doesn’t fit the norm but I’m struggling. Advice thoughts are welcome because I have my own mental health issues and processing this by myself is proving to feel hopeless. Also keep in mind I was in a severely abusive relationship for 4 years a long time ago so I understand the whole other side as well as wishing the person who hurt you was dead and not being able to wrap your mind around wanting to give someone “grace.” but this feels different. At least in my short term processing .... Thank you. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am struggling greatly with processing my situation. The grieving process is..... terrible. It seems like I am battling against anger vs severe depression vs hope every other hour. I’ll try to leave as little context as possible but that might not happen: his first time occurrence led to an arrest for assault. I believe I provoked him and we were equally responsible. The state issued a no contact order and movers were sent to move him out of our home the next day (which killed me.) As I am sure everyone in this group knows, rarely are these overturned. 5-10% to be exact. Over the first week, all I kept thinking was, “for better or worse.” I had lists of contacts and made countless calls and I actually got the DA to lift the no contact order. However, he will not reach out to me, whether because his family has convinced him it is a non-functional relationship or it is of his own accord I don’t think I’ll ever know. I thought it was worth giving him grace. After all, he had given me so much throughout the duration of our time together. I feel like he slammed the door on me. Ghosted me. After being together for years without a single word. Who abandons a person after beating them? I feel like I can forgive the abuse but not the abandonment. I’m enraged. In love. Desperate. Hopeful. Hateful. My family is heartbroken because they loved him and he won’t be around for Christmas. I’m sorry if my situation doesn’t fit the norm but I’m struggling. Advice thoughts are welcome because I have my own mental health issues and processing this by myself is proving to feel hopeless. Also keep in mind I was in a severely abusive relationship for 4 years a long time ago so I understand the whole other side as well as wishing the person who hurt you was dead and not being able to wrap your mind around wanting to give someone “grace.” but this feels different. At least in my short term processing .... Thank you. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Husband was arrested this morning for DV. We were already mid separation, so some people know we were heading to separation. Downside is we work together. Who did you tell the truth to, and how did you tell them? Did you keep it simple and private from some people? I just don't know how to approach this. His family knows because he called them from jail, my best friends know, and my boss. I really don't want to tell my family and am struggling with how to deal with this at work. He will have a restraining order against him that we will have to figure out the verbiage and give to HR. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Husband was arrested this morning for DV. We were already mid separation, so some people know we were heading to separation. Downside is we work together. Who did you tell the truth to, and how did you tell them? Did you keep it simple and private from some people? I just don't know how to approach this. His family knows because he called them from jail, my best friends know, and my boss. I really don't want to tell my family and am struggling with how to deal with this at work. He will have a restraining order against him that we will have to figure out the verbiage and give to HR. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I've been in a physically abusive relationships before, but I thought this was the one. He seemed emotionally stable, safe, and mature-at first. I feel a bit wimpy posting here because I haven't really been physically hurt. The only way to keep him happy is to just smile and nod and say the right things at the right time. If I don't get a reference, disagree with his humor or politics, I'm stupid or deliberately upsetting him. When I bring up issues that are important to mehurting me, he interrupts, turns it into how I'm saying something entirely different, and how I'm abusive and gaslighting and don't care about his feelings. He won't give me space if we're arguing, but will break things and storm off when it suits him. It has been escalating the last month, now he will punch his own face, cracks jokes about me being abusive, threatens to take my car and drive off a bridge, or threatens to shoot himself if I don't shut up when he wants, say something he doesn't like, try to break up, don't agree with him (after I moved in, he began saying demeaning things about race, women, and lgbtq+. He says I just don't understand his humor). When I get fed up of being cornered and demeaned and talk back he gets mopey and sad that i don't care about him and blames his behavior all on his own ptsd, anxiety, and depression. He won't go get help, either. Recently, I was crying, begging him to just let me leave. He said I could go and then said he'll just shoot himself since he's such a POS and went to get his gun (blocking my exit). He hasn't physically hurt me but he is sure to show how angry he is by grinding his teeth, clenching and balling his fists, popping his knuckles, hittingthrowingbreaking things, etc. He's made several comments in the last month about how easy it would be to break my neck, hands, and wrists with one hand, how he could crush my skull in one hand etc randomly, like when hugging me and squeezing until my back cracks and I can't breath and saying how easy it would be to just keep squeezing. He jokingly started smothering me with a pillow two weeks ago but stopped when I told him to and said he could have kept going if he wanted to. He hurt me during sex the last time but he seemed genuinely concerned about the amount of blood, so I'm not sure if he meant to hurt me. The remorsecaring was gone pretty soon after though, and I hurt from it still. He may have just been grossed out by my blood rather than concerned. I used to be sure he would never hurt me. It feels like he is spiraling out of control and is unpredictable. I don't feel safe anymore. I can't sneak much out because he never leaves and he has a photographic memory. I'm trying to plan my escape, and debating leaving furniture here because of my discomfortuncertainty about what he will do. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I want out. This week my plan is to get my paperwork and money, toiletries, and some clothing out (going to donate a bunch and use that excuse). If I try to get my home goods, I am considering hiring some big dudes with moving company, time it tight and get his guns when he's in the bathroom or sleeping and empty them, put the bullets in a bag and hide them, and block his gun safe, ammo, and knives with as much crap as possible (idk the code, he has many guns), and plan on getting my stuff out within 30-45 minutes. I could call PD for an escort, I think, but idk if that's making too much of a scene (since he has only injured himself and inanimate objects so far), it might just make things worse. At this point, I believe he'd go suicide by cop when wound up. Luckily, there are no children or pets involved, I am gainfully employed and can sleep at a few different friend's places until I get my own place. Does anyone have tips for the actual move out process when the man never leaves and has lots of weapons? I would like to try to avoid his suicide or self harm. | Safety planning | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I've been in a physically abusive relationships before, but I thought this was the one. He seemed emotionally stable, safe, and mature-at first. I feel a bit wimpy posting here because I haven't really been physically hurt. The only way to keep him happy is to just smile and nod and say the right things at the right time. If I don't get a reference, disagree with his humor or politics, I'm stupid or deliberately upsetting him. When I bring up issues that are important to mehurting me, he interrupts, turns it into how I'm saying something entirely different, and how I'm abusive and gaslighting and don't care about his feelings. He won't give me space if we're arguing, but will break things and storm off when it suits him. It has been escalating the last month, now he will punch his own face, cracks jokes about me being abusive, threatens to take my car and drive off a bridge, or threatens to shoot himself if I don't shut up when he wants, say something he doesn't like, try to break up, don't agree with him (after I moved in, he began saying demeaning things about race, women, and lgbtq+. He says I just don't understand his humor). When I get fed up of being cornered and demeaned and talk back he gets mopey and sad that i don't care about him and blames his behavior all on his own ptsd, anxiety, and depression. He won't go get help, either. Recently, I was crying, begging him to just let me leave. He said I could go and then said he'll just shoot himself since he's such a POS and went to get his gun (blocking my exit). He hasn't physically hurt me but he is sure to show how angry he is by grinding his teeth, clenching and balling his fists, popping his knuckles, hittingthrowingbreaking things, etc. He's made several comments in the last month about how easy it would be to break my neck, hands, and wrists with one hand, how he could crush my skull in one hand etc randomly, like when hugging me and squeezing until my back cracks and I can't breath and saying how easy it would be to just keep squeezing. He jokingly started smothering me with a pillow two weeks ago but stopped when I told him to and said he could have kept going if he wanted to. He hurt me during sex the last time but he seemed genuinely concerned about the amount of blood, so I'm not sure if he meant to hurt me. The remorsecaring was gone pretty soon after though, and I hurt from it still. He may have just been grossed out by my blood rather than concerned. I used to be sure he would never hurt me. It feels like he is spiraling out of control and is unpredictable. I don't feel safe anymore. I can't sneak much out because he never leaves and he has a photographic memory. I'm trying to plan my escape, and debating leaving furniture here because of my discomfortuncertainty about what he will do. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I want out. This week my plan is to get my paperwork and money, toiletries, and some clothing out (going to donate a bunch and use that excuse). If I try to get my home goods, I am considering hiring some big dudes with moving company, time it tight and get his guns when he's in the bathroom or sleeping and empty them, put the bullets in a bag and hide them, and block his gun safe, ammo, and knives with as much crap as possible (idk the code, he has many guns), and plan on getting my stuff out within 30-45 minutes. I could call PD for an escort, I think, but idk if that's making too much of a scene (since he has only injured himself and inanimate objects so far), it might just make things worse. At this point, I believe he'd go suicide by cop when wound up. Luckily, there are no children or pets involved, I am gainfully employed and can sleep at a few different friend's places until I get my own place. Does anyone have tips for the actual move out process when the man never leaves and has lots of weapons? I would like to try to avoid his suicide or self harm. [/INST] Safety planning </s> |
I’m curious, what has your experience been with the time between physical incidents of abuse? These things happen in cycles, but I know that a “calm” period can lull me into a false sense of security. I would like to hear what some have seen as the longer periods between episodes and how it made you feel. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I’m curious, what has your experience been with the time between physical incidents of abuse? These things happen in cycles, but I know that a “calm” period can lull me into a false sense of security. I would like to hear what some have seen as the longer periods between episodes and how it made you feel. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
My husband has always had rage issues. They were exacerbated by a TBI in a car wreck this summer. He has been physically, financially, and verbally abusive mainly all directed at me but occasionally otherwise. He is seeing a psychiatrist and working in the right direction but started to spiral with the stress of the holidays. I ended up leaving him with his parents, and traveling home alone (six hours). That threw him into a greater anti-me tirade. He says I’m Bi-Polar and I’m making up being afraid of him. He’s threatened to divorce me and ruin my life if I take protective action. Yet, he keeps threatening homelessness on me and saying he’s going to come home and take the kids. His parents own our house so that makes everything a little bit harder. I just love him and want him to get help and take his medicine correctly. He’s really terrible to our children and I at times and it’s not quite normal. I don’t want divorce or separation, I just want him healthy and stable. I don’t know what to do anymore. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My husband has always had rage issues. They were exacerbated by a TBI in a car wreck this summer. He has been physically, financially, and verbally abusive mainly all directed at me but occasionally otherwise. He is seeing a psychiatrist and working in the right direction but started to spiral with the stress of the holidays. I ended up leaving him with his parents, and traveling home alone (six hours). That threw him into a greater anti-me tirade. He says I’m Bi-Polar and I’m making up being afraid of him. He’s threatened to divorce me and ruin my life if I take protective action. Yet, he keeps threatening homelessness on me and saying he’s going to come home and take the kids. His parents own our house so that makes everything a little bit harder. I just love him and want him to get help and take his medicine correctly. He’s really terrible to our children and I at times and it’s not quite normal. I don’t want divorce or separation, I just want him healthy and stable. I don’t know what to do anymore. [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hi everyone. So I’ll try to keep it as brief as I know how to. Was in a relationship for 2 years, we were engaged. We went through a lot together. For example him being diagnosed with a pretty serious condition, him going to jail twice, and him getting his by a car (he almost died). I love this person so much however during all this time it was filled with a lot of mentally abusive stuff, momment a from blocking me from leaving all the way to posting my nude on his Facebook. However ironically what made me walk away finally was him cheating after me going through the car wreck recovery with him. It still eats at me. Well cut a year later and here we are. He has just reached out to me, we have talked a bit and he wants very badly to date me again. He seems a lot calmer and is being very nice. However…. In the back of my mind I wish I could get over the cheating and abuse but i just can’t…. When I see him it’s like I wanna date him too but I just feel wronged. Does anyone know what my best move might be? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi everyone. So I’ll try to keep it as brief as I know how to. Was in a relationship for 2 years, we were engaged. We went through a lot together. For example him being diagnosed with a pretty serious condition, him going to jail twice, and him getting his by a car (he almost died). I love this person so much however during all this time it was filled with a lot of mentally abusive stuff, momment a from blocking me from leaving all the way to posting my nude on his Facebook. However ironically what made me walk away finally was him cheating after me going through the car wreck recovery with him. It still eats at me. Well cut a year later and here we are. He has just reached out to me, we have talked a bit and he wants very badly to date me again. He seems a lot calmer and is being very nice. However…. In the back of my mind I wish I could get over the cheating and abuse but i just can’t…. When I see him it’s like I wanna date him too but I just feel wronged. Does anyone know what my best move might be? [/INST] Communication </s> |
So I'm trying to find a way to leave with our dog. Without me he would be alone inside all day until after 4pm and he's anxious and attached. My only problem is I attempted to leave before and my boyfriend showed up where I was staying and took him. He likes to be in control and I know he will always find me and take him. Does anyone have advice for moving forward and keeping my dog with me? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So I'm trying to find a way to leave with our dog. Without me he would be alone inside all day until after 4pm and he's anxious and attached. My only problem is I attempted to leave before and my boyfriend showed up where I was staying and took him. He likes to be in control and I know he will always find me and take him. Does anyone have advice for moving forward and keeping my dog with me? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I left my abusive relationship, but I still have so much pain and anger and sadness and shame and anxiety and distrust and on and on. I feel like this relationship crushed me. The whole world feels unsafe now. I think of some of the things he did and the pain still feels as fresh as the day it happened. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks and the panick attacks. I'm in therapy, but I've been in therapy for a while. I am getting a little better, but I just want to be free of this. I hate him, and everything he put me through, and everything that led me to him. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I left my abusive relationship, but I still have so much pain and anger and sadness and shame and anxiety and distrust and on and on. I feel like this relationship crushed me. The whole world feels unsafe now. I think of some of the things he did and the pain still feels as fresh as the day it happened. I'm tired of the anxiety attacks and the panick attacks. I'm in therapy, but I've been in therapy for a while. I am getting a little better, but I just want to be free of this. I hate him, and everything he put me through, and everything that led me to him. [/INST] Communication </s> |
So I will admit I am in a mentally and physically abusive relationship. I am an isolated mom of a 2 and 1 year old. Just two nights ago he tried to choke me until I passed out. Then he held me across his lap and punched me in my ribs. (He caught me writing other men on a secret Instagram so that was my fault). The list goes on and on but that’s the most recent incident. But last night he texted me while I was at work (I’m a stripper) that he wanted to get head as soon as I walked in the door. Of course I was tired and didn’t feel like it but I texted agreeing to it because I didn’t want to make him mad. Once I get home and start the act I’m clearly not into it. I even run to the bathroom for a little bit to recollect myself so I don’t start crying. Once I get back to doing the act, he tells me that I’m doing a terrible job. When he tells me that I say “Yeah because I don’t wanna keep doing it” and he replies “I know and I don’t give a fuck. Keep going”. It started to seem like he was getting off because I was visibly upset or that’s just what I thought in the moment. I eventually can’t bring myself to do it anymore. He stands up and says “I’ll remember that” then he goes to the living room to finish himself off. And I go to sleep. I don’t think this is SA but I keep having the feeling like I got assaulted. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> So I will admit I am in a mentally and physically abusive relationship. I am an isolated mom of a 2 and 1 year old. Just two nights ago he tried to choke me until I passed out. Then he held me across his lap and punched me in my ribs. (He caught me writing other men on a secret Instagram so that was my fault). The list goes on and on but that’s the most recent incident. But last night he texted me while I was at work (I’m a stripper) that he wanted to get head as soon as I walked in the door. Of course I was tired and didn’t feel like it but I texted agreeing to it because I didn’t want to make him mad. Once I get home and start the act I’m clearly not into it. I even run to the bathroom for a little bit to recollect myself so I don’t start crying. Once I get back to doing the act, he tells me that I’m doing a terrible job. When he tells me that I say “Yeah because I don’t wanna keep doing it” and he replies “I know and I don’t give a fuck. Keep going”. It started to seem like he was getting off because I was visibly upset or that’s just what I thought in the moment. I eventually can’t bring myself to do it anymore. He stands up and says “I’ll remember that” then he goes to the living room to finish himself off. And I go to sleep. I don’t think this is SA but I keep having the feeling like I got assaulted. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I left last April, when I left I was a grey shadow of a woman, a dry husk. I'm doing better now, not great but better, but people don't seem to understand that me pre-him is dead. They think I'm rude because I call people out constantly when they talk down to me, accuse me of things that aren't true, say something derogatory or sexist, gaslight me or try to dismiss me. I used to brush things off, I wouldn't rise to people and I'd take things with a pinch of salt or find the funny side. But now I fucking refuse, I refuse to give people a free pass, I refuse to brush it off or take it on the chin from anyone, be they family, "friends", friends of friends that I'm expected to be polite to, strangers that run their mouth. I'm not putting myself in danger or being aggressive to anyone at all, that's not my nature, I'm just standing up for myself for the first time. And now people that I've stood by and supported through so many things while I was secretly dealing with years of abuse are treating me like I'm some obnoxious bitch because I've found my backbone. I've stopped putting everyone else first and allowing my own needs to fall by the wayside so I can do things for others. And rather than anyone thinking it's healthy that I'm finally looking after myself for the first time at 30, they're treating my like I'm a selfish bitch for not being at their beck and call. I'm tired and I'm frustrated, and I'm so so lonely. Are my standards too high now? Is it better to feel like shit for looking after myself and ending up alone or feel like shit because people are shitting on me but at least I have company? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I left last April, when I left I was a grey shadow of a woman, a dry husk. I'm doing better now, not great but better, but people don't seem to understand that me pre-him is dead. They think I'm rude because I call people out constantly when they talk down to me, accuse me of things that aren't true, say something derogatory or sexist, gaslight me or try to dismiss me. I used to brush things off, I wouldn't rise to people and I'd take things with a pinch of salt or find the funny side. But now I fucking refuse, I refuse to give people a free pass, I refuse to brush it off or take it on the chin from anyone, be they family, "friends", friends of friends that I'm expected to be polite to, strangers that run their mouth. I'm not putting myself in danger or being aggressive to anyone at all, that's not my nature, I'm just standing up for myself for the first time. And now people that I've stood by and supported through so many things while I was secretly dealing with years of abuse are treating me like I'm some obnoxious bitch because I've found my backbone. I've stopped putting everyone else first and allowing my own needs to fall by the wayside so I can do things for others. And rather than anyone thinking it's healthy that I'm finally looking after myself for the first time at 30, they're treating my like I'm a selfish bitch for not being at their beck and call. I'm tired and I'm frustrated, and I'm so so lonely. Are my standards too high now? Is it better to feel like shit for looking after myself and ending up alone or feel like shit because people are shitting on me but at least I have company? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I cleaned out a lot of stuff two months ago to prep for this so I’d really only have the bare minimum but even that feels like a lot. I don’t really know to be honest.. I don’t know what’s a point of reference on how much I need and what to bring. If I’ll need a lot of stuff at the shelter or it will be provided etc. Idk about money for pet food either. There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now along with the excitement and anxiety. I also need to plan an escape route. If i just take my pet and me (I’m very sadly leaving two birds behind that technically belong to the abusers even though I took care of them), then I can play it off as a vet visit. But if I take some boxes, I can only pass so many off as more donations boxes. (I have 5 boxes and potentially a suitcase though that would be noticeable) I’m not sure if they’ll notice or ignore it. They have a front door cam so even sneaking it out the back and to the front is dangerous. I’m spiraling from all the thoughts in my head, so any helpadvice is greatly appreciated. PS I’m super excited to finally be free. I pray I never ever have to go back to them or their hell home. I’m adding this because I know a lot of survivors struggle with leaving and thinking about the process. I can relate but I’m still very happy and grateful for this chance. Naturally there comes some anxiety to work through but I know it’ll all turn out well in the end and for the best. TIA! | Safety planning | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I cleaned out a lot of stuff two months ago to prep for this so I’d really only have the bare minimum but even that feels like a lot. I don’t really know to be honest.. I don’t know what’s a point of reference on how much I need and what to bring. If I’ll need a lot of stuff at the shelter or it will be provided etc. Idk about money for pet food either. There’s a lot of questions running through my head right now along with the excitement and anxiety. I also need to plan an escape route. If i just take my pet and me (I’m very sadly leaving two birds behind that technically belong to the abusers even though I took care of them), then I can play it off as a vet visit. But if I take some boxes, I can only pass so many off as more donations boxes. (I have 5 boxes and potentially a suitcase though that would be noticeable) I’m not sure if they’ll notice or ignore it. They have a front door cam so even sneaking it out the back and to the front is dangerous. I’m spiraling from all the thoughts in my head, so any helpadvice is greatly appreciated. PS I’m super excited to finally be free. I pray I never ever have to go back to them or their hell home. I’m adding this because I know a lot of survivors struggle with leaving and thinking about the process. I can relate but I’m still very happy and grateful for this chance. Naturally there comes some anxiety to work through but I know it’ll all turn out well in the end and for the best. TIA! [/INST] Safety planning </s> |
I left a 7 year old abusive relationship last night and I’m absolutely shattered. I can’t eat or sleep. How do you get through the first days of this? It hurts so bad. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I left a 7 year old abusive relationship last night and I’m absolutely shattered. I can’t eat or sleep. How do you get through the first days of this? It hurts so bad. [/INST] Communication </s> |
It’s been a year since I escaped my “abusive” relationship. (I still don’t even feel comfortable calling it that) He is truly a genuine, kind, loving person. I admire him so much. Everyone else also enjoys how chill, respectful, and laidback he is. 95% of the time, we made incredible, amazing memories. But during that other 5%, he would blow up out of frustration at my aggressive anxiety and panic attacks (he’s very familiar with my mental illnesses). He ripped apart a special painting I had commissioned of our fur babies; he ripped out electrical wires that supplied my electricity; he threw away all of my stuff stored at his place and threatened to tow my car; he smashed a box of blueberries into the ground, knowing they are my favorite fruit. He’d do this while loudly, violently insulting me too. There was a lot of screaming, from both me and him. A lot of me crying, begging him to stop, and him fuming in rage ceaselessly. Now, how do I explain all this to people without completely demonizing him? When spoken of altogether, his anger outbursts do seem horrible. But I know that he is more than just his anger and violence. He is someone who’s done so much for me, helped me survive. I don’t want anyone to burn their bridges with him; I still only want the best for him. Plus, I know I had toxic behaviors too! I don’t want to discount that! I want to tell people the truth of why we broke up without going into all the above detail. How do I talk about this without turning people against him? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> It’s been a year since I escaped my “abusive” relationship. (I still don’t even feel comfortable calling it that) He is truly a genuine, kind, loving person. I admire him so much. Everyone else also enjoys how chill, respectful, and laidback he is. 95% of the time, we made incredible, amazing memories. But during that other 5%, he would blow up out of frustration at my aggressive anxiety and panic attacks (he’s very familiar with my mental illnesses). He ripped apart a special painting I had commissioned of our fur babies; he ripped out electrical wires that supplied my electricity; he threw away all of my stuff stored at his place and threatened to tow my car; he smashed a box of blueberries into the ground, knowing they are my favorite fruit. He’d do this while loudly, violently insulting me too. There was a lot of screaming, from both me and him. A lot of me crying, begging him to stop, and him fuming in rage ceaselessly. Now, how do I explain all this to people without completely demonizing him? When spoken of altogether, his anger outbursts do seem horrible. But I know that he is more than just his anger and violence. He is someone who’s done so much for me, helped me survive. I don’t want anyone to burn their bridges with him; I still only want the best for him. Plus, I know I had toxic behaviors too! I don’t want to discount that! I want to tell people the truth of why we broke up without going into all the above detail. How do I talk about this without turning people against him? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I left him. This morning. After yet another emotional degrading episode in front of our 5 kids I took it as a sign to get out. I was not at all prepared because I’ve been so afraid, but when he went to work -after leaving and coming back multiple times- I threw clothes for me and my kids into a hamper took some snacks and a few essential items and documents and we left. Of course he’s promising he’s getting help. He’s crying he misses his kids. Trying all the things he can to get me to give into his control. But my sister helped me and I have safe place to sleep with my kids until Tuesday. And hopefully I will hear back from my local DV assistanceshelter. They have a long waitlist so I couldn’t get into it right away. I am afraid I will get arrested for taking my kids without his permission and he dosent know where they are. I’m afraid I will let him reel me back in. I’m afraid I really won’t be able to take care of myself and my kids like he’s told me countless times in the past. But I decided I can’t let the fear I have stop me. I have also contacted my local legal aid and submitted an online application so hopefully they can get back to me ASAP. I have so many thoughts spiraling threw my head as I lay with my sleeping children. If anyone has any advice on what I shouldcould do please tell me. Thank you all I know this is a new account so my abuser will not be able to track me I hope it’s ok. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I left him. This morning. After yet another emotional degrading episode in front of our 5 kids I took it as a sign to get out. I was not at all prepared because I’ve been so afraid, but when he went to work -after leaving and coming back multiple times- I threw clothes for me and my kids into a hamper took some snacks and a few essential items and documents and we left. Of course he’s promising he’s getting help. He’s crying he misses his kids. Trying all the things he can to get me to give into his control. But my sister helped me and I have safe place to sleep with my kids until Tuesday. And hopefully I will hear back from my local DV assistanceshelter. They have a long waitlist so I couldn’t get into it right away. I am afraid I will get arrested for taking my kids without his permission and he dosent know where they are. I’m afraid I will let him reel me back in. I’m afraid I really won’t be able to take care of myself and my kids like he’s told me countless times in the past. But I decided I can’t let the fear I have stop me. I have also contacted my local legal aid and submitted an online application so hopefully they can get back to me ASAP. I have so many thoughts spiraling threw my head as I lay with my sleeping children. If anyone has any advice on what I shouldcould do please tell me. Thank you all I know this is a new account so my abuser will not be able to track me I hope it’s ok. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I am no longer with my partner but the biggest trouble I have had with closure is wondering why they were abusive. I also have a hard time understanding how they treated others with respect and kindness yet with me at times it was another story. I have a difficult time processing how moments between us could be great and that it was not bad 247 but when it was bad, it was bad. I am in therapy and multiple professionals have brought up that abusive people have a VERY hard time changing their behavior even with help and that abusers are often the way they are because of something that happened in their childhood. As far as I know nothing insane happened in my ex partner's childhood that they disclosed for me so I struggle with not knowing why I was treated the way I was. TW Emotionalphysical violence: >!There were times where I was treated so bad. Every holidaybirthday was always ruined. He would break furniture, scream at me, etc. I could not be happy, but I find myself still feeling bad for my ex partner. !< | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I am no longer with my partner but the biggest trouble I have had with closure is wondering why they were abusive. I also have a hard time understanding how they treated others with respect and kindness yet with me at times it was another story. I have a difficult time processing how moments between us could be great and that it was not bad 247 but when it was bad, it was bad. I am in therapy and multiple professionals have brought up that abusive people have a VERY hard time changing their behavior even with help and that abusers are often the way they are because of something that happened in their childhood. As far as I know nothing insane happened in my ex partner's childhood that they disclosed for me so I struggle with not knowing why I was treated the way I was. TW Emotionalphysical violence: >!There were times where I was treated so bad. Every holidaybirthday was always ruined. He would break furniture, scream at me, etc. I could not be happy, but I find myself still feeling bad for my ex partner. !< [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
Hey! Thanks to everyone who leaves any bit of advice, anything would be appreciated. So, this might be a longish post which I apologize for. My boyfriend (24) and me(22) have been dating for 4 years. He’s a super sweet guy and he’s bipolar. Throughout the first 3 and like a half years of our relationship we’ve had no real issues, the only exception being him cheating on me, but I forgave him for that (please don’t judge me for that lol). A few months ago we had an argument because he thought I was fucking my co-worker, who he knows is gay and he slapped me. He apologized, explained that he was manic and basically said it wasn’t his fault, he had been up for like over a day so I believed him. Since then it happened 4 more times, every time he told me he was manic and didn’t mean to do it. Yesterday after being up again for over a day he chocked me because I laughed at a joke in a movie, like it was for nothing. After he calmed down I told him that he can’t keep blaming being bipolar, that he should talk to his therapist about it and he essentially yelled at me, saying I was bullying him for his mental illness and calling me a bitch for not wanting to stick with him, saying he might not be alive if I left, even though I didn’t even say I wanted to leave I just wanted him to like figure out why this keeps happening. He said that if I stop flirting with other guys, and just be more pleasant and helpful when he’s manic or depressive, this wouldn’t happen. Is he right? He is really nice to me like literally 99 per cent and I really don’t know much about mental health, I’d really hate to be like making him worse. My best friend thinks he’s just using the mental health as an excuse but I think he’s really suffering, what do you think? Please be nice | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hey! Thanks to everyone who leaves any bit of advice, anything would be appreciated. So, this might be a longish post which I apologize for. My boyfriend (24) and me(22) have been dating for 4 years. He’s a super sweet guy and he’s bipolar. Throughout the first 3 and like a half years of our relationship we’ve had no real issues, the only exception being him cheating on me, but I forgave him for that (please don’t judge me for that lol). A few months ago we had an argument because he thought I was fucking my co-worker, who he knows is gay and he slapped me. He apologized, explained that he was manic and basically said it wasn’t his fault, he had been up for like over a day so I believed him. Since then it happened 4 more times, every time he told me he was manic and didn’t mean to do it. Yesterday after being up again for over a day he chocked me because I laughed at a joke in a movie, like it was for nothing. After he calmed down I told him that he can’t keep blaming being bipolar, that he should talk to his therapist about it and he essentially yelled at me, saying I was bullying him for his mental illness and calling me a bitch for not wanting to stick with him, saying he might not be alive if I left, even though I didn’t even say I wanted to leave I just wanted him to like figure out why this keeps happening. He said that if I stop flirting with other guys, and just be more pleasant and helpful when he’s manic or depressive, this wouldn’t happen. Is he right? He is really nice to me like literally 99 per cent and I really don’t know much about mental health, I’d really hate to be like making him worse. My best friend thinks he’s just using the mental health as an excuse but I think he’s really suffering, what do you think? Please be nice [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I don’t really want advice. I just want to tell someone. I have no one to tell the truth. I have a 6 month old and 2 others under 5, with my partner. I have been suffering from Post partum depression and anxiety. I’ll be honest, sometimes when I have a panic attack, I get uncontrollable. I have medication that takes a couple weeks to really help, but I still have my moments. Saturday was one of those moments. I yelled and yelled, and eventually i kicked a wall. The wall kick was the climax of my tantrum. As I’m walking out of the room, I hear him yell from behind me. I turn around and see him running out of the room after me. As soon as I could look at him straight, his hand was around my neck. He turned me around and then I felt his hand on the back of my head, in my hair. He pulled my hair back, to pull my head back, and wrapped his arm around my throat. He picked me up, and slammed me face first onto the hardwood floor. I can still hear the crack of my nose as it made impact. Once laying on the floor, he sat on my back, arm still around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. Everything I knew about fighting came to mind, and when I realized I couldn’t get air at all, no matter how much I wiggled, I just started tapping the floor. He didn’t stop. Frantically I started tapping his leg. He didn’t stop. I try once more on the floor. He didn’t stop. Finally, I just stopped tapping. At this point, all I can hear is my toddler’s screams. I didn’t have hardly any air left in my lungs to keep me conscious. He finally let go and walked away. I just laid on the floor to catch my breath. Eventually I made it to the bathroom. I thought I only had a nose issue. I guess I had a bruised nose, a giant lump above my eyebrow, and I bit through my tongue. A few hours later, I noticed my knees and hips were black and blue as well. It’s been 3 days, my jaw still hurts from where his arm was on my neck. My nose is still bruised. My wrist is sprained from the fall. I feel like I’ve been in a car accident. I’ve been with him for 4 years, and I would have never expected this. At all.. I didn’t even come at him physically. I was 6 ft away from him when I hit the wall.. I don’t know if I can move on from this.. he said he was just trying to “subdue” me. He was “just trying to put me to sleep.” I think he almost killed me. I’ve told everyone that I just fell while running up the stairs. Which explains all of my bruises pretty I feel so stupid. He may not have killed me, but a part of me died on that floor. I think that part was my self worth. I haven’t showered since. I can’t really even bring myself to look at him. Tonight I ordered pizza, because dinner just seemed to hard. I know he’s going to say something about that when he gets home. I have the means to leave, but I don’t know how to just leave my house and everything I’ve built. I’m so scared. I’m heartbroken. He has never laid an unsolicited hand on me before. Then this. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I don’t really want advice. I just want to tell someone. I have no one to tell the truth. I have a 6 month old and 2 others under 5, with my partner. I have been suffering from Post partum depression and anxiety. I’ll be honest, sometimes when I have a panic attack, I get uncontrollable. I have medication that takes a couple weeks to really help, but I still have my moments. Saturday was one of those moments. I yelled and yelled, and eventually i kicked a wall. The wall kick was the climax of my tantrum. As I’m walking out of the room, I hear him yell from behind me. I turn around and see him running out of the room after me. As soon as I could look at him straight, his hand was around my neck. He turned me around and then I felt his hand on the back of my head, in my hair. He pulled my hair back, to pull my head back, and wrapped his arm around my throat. He picked me up, and slammed me face first onto the hardwood floor. I can still hear the crack of my nose as it made impact. Once laying on the floor, he sat on my back, arm still around my throat. I couldn’t breathe. Everything I knew about fighting came to mind, and when I realized I couldn’t get air at all, no matter how much I wiggled, I just started tapping the floor. He didn’t stop. Frantically I started tapping his leg. He didn’t stop. I try once more on the floor. He didn’t stop. Finally, I just stopped tapping. At this point, all I can hear is my toddler’s screams. I didn’t have hardly any air left in my lungs to keep me conscious. He finally let go and walked away. I just laid on the floor to catch my breath. Eventually I made it to the bathroom. I thought I only had a nose issue. I guess I had a bruised nose, a giant lump above my eyebrow, and I bit through my tongue. A few hours later, I noticed my knees and hips were black and blue as well. It’s been 3 days, my jaw still hurts from where his arm was on my neck. My nose is still bruised. My wrist is sprained from the fall. I feel like I’ve been in a car accident. I’ve been with him for 4 years, and I would have never expected this. At all.. I didn’t even come at him physically. I was 6 ft away from him when I hit the wall.. I don’t know if I can move on from this.. he said he was just trying to “subdue” me. He was “just trying to put me to sleep.” I think he almost killed me. I’ve told everyone that I just fell while running up the stairs. Which explains all of my bruises pretty I feel so stupid. He may not have killed me, but a part of me died on that floor. I think that part was my self worth. I haven’t showered since. I can’t really even bring myself to look at him. Tonight I ordered pizza, because dinner just seemed to hard. I know he’s going to say something about that when he gets home. I have the means to leave, but I don’t know how to just leave my house and everything I’ve built. I’m so scared. I’m heartbroken. He has never laid an unsolicited hand on me before. Then this. [/INST] Communication </s> |
My boyfriend and I got into an argument because I wanted to plan my day around studying for school. I’m in the nursing program so I HAVE to study everyday. He first got upset when I mentioned going to study tomorrow with my classmate. I tried to calm him down by saying I’d get everything I need to done still. He said I don’t need to study tomorrow since I did that today with my classmate. It got quiet and I decided to leave and go to the room to finish my hw and study. He came to the room and said “why are you doing this”. I told him all I want to do is study, it’s not that big a deal. So he said I have other priorities..when will I have time for him. He was having people come over so we decided to talk about it later. I slammed the door on our way out the bedroom, I’ll admit that was wrong. He then turned around and grabbed me by the shoulders and kept pushing me back. He didn’t push me into the wall..but it did scare me. He was also getting in my face and said “why the fuck are you slamming doors” . I went back into the room to get away from him and he followed me saying it wasn’t even hard I’m over exaggerating. He then apologized..I don’t buy it tho. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My boyfriend and I got into an argument because I wanted to plan my day around studying for school. I’m in the nursing program so I HAVE to study everyday. He first got upset when I mentioned going to study tomorrow with my classmate. I tried to calm him down by saying I’d get everything I need to done still. He said I don’t need to study tomorrow since I did that today with my classmate. It got quiet and I decided to leave and go to the room to finish my hw and study. He came to the room and said “why are you doing this”. I told him all I want to do is study, it’s not that big a deal. So he said I have other priorities..when will I have time for him. He was having people come over so we decided to talk about it later. I slammed the door on our way out the bedroom, I’ll admit that was wrong. He then turned around and grabbed me by the shoulders and kept pushing me back. He didn’t push me into the wall..but it did scare me. He was also getting in my face and said “why the fuck are you slamming doors” . I went back into the room to get away from him and he followed me saying it wasn’t even hard I’m over exaggerating. He then apologized..I don’t buy it tho. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right sub. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I think I left my marriage before things got physically abusive. While angry, my husband has thrown food I was cooking at walls, broke a wooden door, and broke a glass shower door while I was still taking a shower. Is it true that “they hit things around you before they hit you”? He’s such a kind person otherwise. I’m a mess and can’t tell if I left a good person who needs to work through their anger issues, or if I left a situation that was bound to get a lot worse. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I think I left my marriage before things got physically abusive. While angry, my husband has thrown food I was cooking at walls, broke a wooden door, and broke a glass shower door while I was still taking a shower. Is it true that “they hit things around you before they hit you”? He’s such a kind person otherwise. I’m a mess and can’t tell if I left a good person who needs to work through their anger issues, or if I left a situation that was bound to get a lot worse. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
hey everyone. if anyone has had a restraining order hearing over zoom, what was it like? im wondering if i will see him | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> hey everyone. if anyone has had a restraining order hearing over zoom, what was it like? im wondering if i will see him [/INST] Legal </s> |
I just got of an abusive relationship,and it been a very hard time for me, and i seem like I can't see my future so i wanna know people who had been thought an abusive relationship, what happened to you after? How do u get thought it and how u manage to put your life back together? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I just got of an abusive relationship,and it been a very hard time for me, and i seem like I can't see my future so i wanna know people who had been thought an abusive relationship, what happened to you after? How do u get thought it and how u manage to put your life back together? [/INST] Communication </s> |
I think I may be being abused by my partner. I don’t want to give too much information and dox myself. I am a mother of 7. We’ve been together for 6 years. He wants more kids. It’s never enough. He expects me to do everything. Sometimes, when he comes home, if I don’t have the place perfect for him or the kids are too loud he threatens me and the children. He said if I don’t let him get me pregnant again he will kill me. I just gave birth last week, and he’s already saying we should have sex, which he has never dine before. He expects me to be okay by this weekend. He also won’t let me leave the house, unless he is not home but it’s hard with 4 kids under 4 with me. He has never hit me or my kids, but he threats to. He also ripped my car door off. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I think I may be being abused by my partner. I don’t want to give too much information and dox myself. I am a mother of 7. We’ve been together for 6 years. He wants more kids. It’s never enough. He expects me to do everything. Sometimes, when he comes home, if I don’t have the place perfect for him or the kids are too loud he threatens me and the children. He said if I don’t let him get me pregnant again he will kill me. I just gave birth last week, and he’s already saying we should have sex, which he has never dine before. He expects me to be okay by this weekend. He also won’t let me leave the house, unless he is not home but it’s hard with 4 kids under 4 with me. He has never hit me or my kids, but he threats to. He also ripped my car door off. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
Yesterday I left and today I am feeling very sad, devastated even. I know this is normal, I know that this is the hardest part but god does it suck doing the right thing sometimes. This is one of the hardest things i’ve had to do, because I never fell out of love with this person, I still love them so much but I had to realize that no matter how much or how hard I love them, they will not change and the abuse will be my future forever if I didn’t leave. I wish I didn’t want to crawl back in his arms but they’re the only ones that could console me right now, I won’t go back but it really sucks that I want to. Looking for some support, i’m having a really hard time with this breakup as I think I trauma bonded with him, I met him a few months after my mother passed, he’s all i’ve known since then, and now I just feel devastated and mad at the world, mad at him, why couldn’t he just treat me like a decent human? None of this had to happen, but he’s given me no choice but to leave, I won’t repeat my family cycles, I come from a traumatic childhood, I have repeatedly dated men who treat me just like my step father treated me my whole childhood, I know more now than I did when I first got sucked into this cycle, and now he’s gone from doing anything to reach out to me to being silent, because he knows it will cause my anxiety to stir and that I will yearn for him to reach out, it’s sick that I want him to reach out because it feels like some kind of connection, literally anything to make me feel better, but I will be strong and not do what i’ve done in the past which is reach out to him when he’s stopped reaching out to me, I feel so sad, I know if I can get past this month that I will be okay but god it sucks to even have to do this, I just wanted him to love me, I just wanted the bare minimum but he refused so I had no other option but to leave | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Yesterday I left and today I am feeling very sad, devastated even. I know this is normal, I know that this is the hardest part but god does it suck doing the right thing sometimes. This is one of the hardest things i’ve had to do, because I never fell out of love with this person, I still love them so much but I had to realize that no matter how much or how hard I love them, they will not change and the abuse will be my future forever if I didn’t leave. I wish I didn’t want to crawl back in his arms but they’re the only ones that could console me right now, I won’t go back but it really sucks that I want to. Looking for some support, i’m having a really hard time with this breakup as I think I trauma bonded with him, I met him a few months after my mother passed, he’s all i’ve known since then, and now I just feel devastated and mad at the world, mad at him, why couldn’t he just treat me like a decent human? None of this had to happen, but he’s given me no choice but to leave, I won’t repeat my family cycles, I come from a traumatic childhood, I have repeatedly dated men who treat me just like my step father treated me my whole childhood, I know more now than I did when I first got sucked into this cycle, and now he’s gone from doing anything to reach out to me to being silent, because he knows it will cause my anxiety to stir and that I will yearn for him to reach out, it’s sick that I want him to reach out because it feels like some kind of connection, literally anything to make me feel better, but I will be strong and not do what i’ve done in the past which is reach out to him when he’s stopped reaching out to me, I feel so sad, I know if I can get past this month that I will be okay but god it sucks to even have to do this, I just wanted him to love me, I just wanted the bare minimum but he refused so I had no other option but to leave [/INST] Communication </s> |
The domestic hotline told me that he wouldnt change and they told me that it will get worse...but he has been really nice to me now. He even got me a Christmas present which he has not done in a few years. I told him if he does it again that I will leave. He hasnt hit me, but just mentally and verbally abuses me. His dad hit his mom and I just found out that his brother hit his wife. He has been alot nicer to me now I just hope that it stays this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Please let me know and give me any advice | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> The domestic hotline told me that he wouldnt change and they told me that it will get worse...but he has been really nice to me now. He even got me a Christmas present which he has not done in a few years. I told him if he does it again that I will leave. He hasnt hit me, but just mentally and verbally abuses me. His dad hit his mom and I just found out that his brother hit his wife. He has been alot nicer to me now I just hope that it stays this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Please let me know and give me any advice [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
I was in an abusive marriage for ten years and left about 4 years ago. I spent a lot of time by myself, becoming independent and healing as fully as I could before I started dating again. While dating, I met many liars and abusive men and spotted red flags a mile away and felt safe in my own awareness and willingness to walk away. I met a guy 2 years ago, we got on really well and became really close over the first or second Covid lockdown. He lives 60 miles away so the relationship has mostly been long distance and visiting each other once or twice a week. He is an immigrant so there are a huge number of cultural differences that have been both amazing and challenging. One of the really apparent issues is that his culture is fundamentally sexist with the general belief that women are owned by men. He, himself, does not agree with this but sometimes his actions demonstrate that that belief is in there somewhere. We had a horrible experience this weekend and it’s making me see everything in a strange light and now my memories of red flags are coming flooding into my mind. I’m going to list them. This weekend. He got jealous over something and I spent some time trying to reassure him. I put my head on his knee and he tapped his knuckles on my head 5 times. I immediately said “I didn’t like that” and he kept insisting he didn’t hit me hard enough to hurt me. I kept telling him that he did, because it hurt. We ended up in a huge fight with my screaming and crying, demanding he leave because he refused to apologise and gaslighted me to my face, obviously it was hard enough to hurt me because I was hurt. The next day I got serious neck injury, I can’t think about any cause other than him hitting the back of my head. I told him I thought that was why my neck hurt and he started laughing at me. I told him my dad didn’t find it funny and was concerned, and he shouted at me for “running to my dad saying I hit you” I’m like, you did though? I have ended up doubting myself because I had been drinking and because he is so adamant. It makes me feel sick to question myself like that, it’s starting to make me feel dissociative and panicky. A few months ago we went through a break up (we’re not really bf and gf, more like casual relationship) and didn’t talk for 2 weeks. He came to my house to drop off a present and I happened to have a male friend over at the time, we were just chatting and playing guitar. My ex dropped the present off, drove away and then came back 20 mins later. He knocked on the door and I answered it and we had a brief chat. He later told me he was planning on storming in and “catch” us having sex. This was enormous alarm bells to me that he felt entitled to come into my house and “catch” me doing anything. I believe he talks about me in his native language with his friends but I can’t understand what he’s saying. But sometimes I’ll know he’s talking about me on the phone, there will be some backwards and forwards and laughing, and then the convo will move on. If I ask what was said he will say something simply like “my friend asked how you are and I said you were ok” and I don’t believe that he’s telling the truth because what I heard was more words and more humourlessbanter back and forth than what he’s reporting. Obviously I can’t prove it. I asked if his friends have a nickname for me (he said they do for everyone) and he smirked and then refused to tell me, then said I was imagining that he smirked and they didn’t have any nicknames for me. The whole thing turned into a fight when it didn’t have to. During sex he is sometimes inappropriate. He has recorded me doing stuff then lied when I noticed and said he didn’t record anything, and was just watching me on the selfie camera but not recording. I’m not the kind of person to rip someone’s phone out of their hand so I can’t prove it. But even that I feel is an invasion of my privacy. He has also blatantly disrespected my direct withdrawal consent, even penetrating me with his fingers when I’ve specifically told him not to, touching parts of my body when I’ve specifically told him not to. Part of the problem of why I can’t decide what’s going on (even though I’m reading back over that and it’s obviously wrong) is because my marriage was SO abusive that this seems mild in comparison. I also have PTSD and tend to forget triggers immediately. I have forgotten entire days and conversations immediately after they happen and it takes months before I recall them. As a result, so much of what he does is forgotten the second he’s nice to me. And thirdly, this guy love bombs me so much that I’ve become to depend on him a little for finances and for pepping me up. But I have felt like a stranger in my own body for a year now and I’m beginning to think he is the cause of this disconnect. | DV knowledge | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I was in an abusive marriage for ten years and left about 4 years ago. I spent a lot of time by myself, becoming independent and healing as fully as I could before I started dating again. While dating, I met many liars and abusive men and spotted red flags a mile away and felt safe in my own awareness and willingness to walk away. I met a guy 2 years ago, we got on really well and became really close over the first or second Covid lockdown. He lives 60 miles away so the relationship has mostly been long distance and visiting each other once or twice a week. He is an immigrant so there are a huge number of cultural differences that have been both amazing and challenging. One of the really apparent issues is that his culture is fundamentally sexist with the general belief that women are owned by men. He, himself, does not agree with this but sometimes his actions demonstrate that that belief is in there somewhere. We had a horrible experience this weekend and it’s making me see everything in a strange light and now my memories of red flags are coming flooding into my mind. I’m going to list them. This weekend. He got jealous over something and I spent some time trying to reassure him. I put my head on his knee and he tapped his knuckles on my head 5 times. I immediately said “I didn’t like that” and he kept insisting he didn’t hit me hard enough to hurt me. I kept telling him that he did, because it hurt. We ended up in a huge fight with my screaming and crying, demanding he leave because he refused to apologise and gaslighted me to my face, obviously it was hard enough to hurt me because I was hurt. The next day I got serious neck injury, I can’t think about any cause other than him hitting the back of my head. I told him I thought that was why my neck hurt and he started laughing at me. I told him my dad didn’t find it funny and was concerned, and he shouted at me for “running to my dad saying I hit you” I’m like, you did though? I have ended up doubting myself because I had been drinking and because he is so adamant. It makes me feel sick to question myself like that, it’s starting to make me feel dissociative and panicky. A few months ago we went through a break up (we’re not really bf and gf, more like casual relationship) and didn’t talk for 2 weeks. He came to my house to drop off a present and I happened to have a male friend over at the time, we were just chatting and playing guitar. My ex dropped the present off, drove away and then came back 20 mins later. He knocked on the door and I answered it and we had a brief chat. He later told me he was planning on storming in and “catch” us having sex. This was enormous alarm bells to me that he felt entitled to come into my house and “catch” me doing anything. I believe he talks about me in his native language with his friends but I can’t understand what he’s saying. But sometimes I’ll know he’s talking about me on the phone, there will be some backwards and forwards and laughing, and then the convo will move on. If I ask what was said he will say something simply like “my friend asked how you are and I said you were ok” and I don’t believe that he’s telling the truth because what I heard was more words and more humourlessbanter back and forth than what he’s reporting. Obviously I can’t prove it. I asked if his friends have a nickname for me (he said they do for everyone) and he smirked and then refused to tell me, then said I was imagining that he smirked and they didn’t have any nicknames for me. The whole thing turned into a fight when it didn’t have to. During sex he is sometimes inappropriate. He has recorded me doing stuff then lied when I noticed and said he didn’t record anything, and was just watching me on the selfie camera but not recording. I’m not the kind of person to rip someone’s phone out of their hand so I can’t prove it. But even that I feel is an invasion of my privacy. He has also blatantly disrespected my direct withdrawal consent, even penetrating me with his fingers when I’ve specifically told him not to, touching parts of my body when I’ve specifically told him not to. Part of the problem of why I can’t decide what’s going on (even though I’m reading back over that and it’s obviously wrong) is because my marriage was SO abusive that this seems mild in comparison. I also have PTSD and tend to forget triggers immediately. I have forgotten entire days and conversations immediately after they happen and it takes months before I recall them. As a result, so much of what he does is forgotten the second he’s nice to me. And thirdly, this guy love bombs me so much that I’ve become to depend on him a little for finances and for pepping me up. But I have felt like a stranger in my own body for a year now and I’m beginning to think he is the cause of this disconnect. [/INST] DV knowledge </s> |
My ex who I have a restraining order messaged my mom, my birthday is soon and they messaged her asking if she could ask me if it'll be okay for him to being me gifts and that he just wants ti hear my voice one more time, how he will never forgive himself for hurting me. The first time he messaged my mom in December (a week after the order) asking her to ask me to call him because he was going to kill himself and wanted to apologize (he never did and I never called) He sounds genuine but I no longer believe he could ever be genuine. He's never apologized until he was arrested for hitting me. To be honest I have this gut feeling he's trying to get me to call him so the order gets voided since I broke it and I put it on him. Should I report him to the police? Idk of bes genuine or not but I don't believe he has an honest or kind bone in his body. What should I do? | Police | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> My ex who I have a restraining order messaged my mom, my birthday is soon and they messaged her asking if she could ask me if it'll be okay for him to being me gifts and that he just wants ti hear my voice one more time, how he will never forgive himself for hurting me. The first time he messaged my mom in December (a week after the order) asking her to ask me to call him because he was going to kill himself and wanted to apologize (he never did and I never called) He sounds genuine but I no longer believe he could ever be genuine. He's never apologized until he was arrested for hitting me. To be honest I have this gut feeling he's trying to get me to call him so the order gets voided since I broke it and I put it on him. Should I report him to the police? Idk of bes genuine or not but I don't believe he has an honest or kind bone in his body. What should I do? [/INST] Police </s> |
Two night ago my now ex-boyfriend knocked me off my feet, bent over and choked me, then started punching me in the face leaving me with multiple bruises, splitting my lip and knocking out my front tooth. He left right after so when the cops came he wasn’t around. This was the final straw. My mom flew out, we are in the process of getting a restraining order in place and the detective is working on getting a warrant for his arrest. He laid low for a few days but last night and this morning he keeps calling over and over and texting over and over. He has been sleeping in his car without a change of clothes and he is trying to come back to my house (I own the home solo) to use the shower and want to talk to me. I am holding strong and not allowing it, no answering his calls, keeping it short and brief with a text message saying he can come by in a 30min window to pick up his stuff outside on the sidewalk. The police will be here at that time. We just finished packing his stuff into trash bags. Holding strong. This is so hard. I loved him with all my heart. He permanently disfigured me. I’m holding strong. Edit: Good news all!! He has officially been arrested. He has to sit in jail all weekend and he will be in front of a judge on Monday at which time the restraining order will be put in place. I’m so relieved. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Two night ago my now ex-boyfriend knocked me off my feet, bent over and choked me, then started punching me in the face leaving me with multiple bruises, splitting my lip and knocking out my front tooth. He left right after so when the cops came he wasn’t around. This was the final straw. My mom flew out, we are in the process of getting a restraining order in place and the detective is working on getting a warrant for his arrest. He laid low for a few days but last night and this morning he keeps calling over and over and texting over and over. He has been sleeping in his car without a change of clothes and he is trying to come back to my house (I own the home solo) to use the shower and want to talk to me. I am holding strong and not allowing it, no answering his calls, keeping it short and brief with a text message saying he can come by in a 30min window to pick up his stuff outside on the sidewalk. The police will be here at that time. We just finished packing his stuff into trash bags. Holding strong. This is so hard. I loved him with all my heart. He permanently disfigured me. I’m holding strong. Edit: Good news all!! He has officially been arrested. He has to sit in jail all weekend and he will be in front of a judge on Monday at which time the restraining order will be put in place. I’m so relieved. [/INST] Communication </s> |
How do you finally get the courage to be done? How do you ensure your own as well as your kids safety? Has he come after you? Who did you have support from? How did the kids handle the change? How are you doing now? | Childbearing | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> How do you finally get the courage to be done? How do you ensure your own as well as your kids safety? Has he come after you? Who did you have support from? How did the kids handle the change? How are you doing now? [/INST] Childbearing </s> |
I kicked him out early last year. He was physically, mentally, sexually abusive. His number and fb has been blocked since then. I didn't hear anything for about a year from him nor did I contact him. I received a message from a different fb account with his name recently which was in my "spam folder" in fb. &#x200B; It says: "Hi. \[insert my name\]. Since leaving you I have gotten my stuff together. I have 3 full time jobs, a car and I'm in a better place. Sorry for abandoning you. How have you and your cat been.?" He also then went onto my fb posts and started "hearting" photo. &#x200B; I find it strange that he's even still looking at my fb. I also doubt the full time job thing as he wouldn't take out rubbish, let alone get a job while he lived with me. All he would do was drink, smoke weed, play games and abuse me. When I kicked him out he went and lived with his mum. &#x200B; Why even update me? What's the point in sending that message? Why after a year? I didn't respond. I didn't ask nor care what he's doing. I don't want anything to do with him. Just blocked him instantly on that account as well. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I kicked him out early last year. He was physically, mentally, sexually abusive. His number and fb has been blocked since then. I didn't hear anything for about a year from him nor did I contact him. I received a message from a different fb account with his name recently which was in my "spam folder" in fb. &#x200B; It says: "Hi. \[insert my name\]. Since leaving you I have gotten my stuff together. I have 3 full time jobs, a car and I'm in a better place. Sorry for abandoning you. How have you and your cat been.?" He also then went onto my fb posts and started "hearting" photo. &#x200B; I find it strange that he's even still looking at my fb. I also doubt the full time job thing as he wouldn't take out rubbish, let alone get a job while he lived with me. All he would do was drink, smoke weed, play games and abuse me. When I kicked him out he went and lived with his mum. &#x200B; Why even update me? What's the point in sending that message? Why after a year? I didn't respond. I didn't ask nor care what he's doing. I don't want anything to do with him. Just blocked him instantly on that account as well. [/INST] Communication </s> |
I’ve been married 2.5 years. When we were dating before he was really kind at first and then yes he started showing his true colors. He becomes a completely different person when he is angry like his body starts convulsing and shaking and he says and does the most horrid things. He first started throwing things at me, TV remote water bottle - and I spoke to his parents about it and they just brushed it off. After we got married - I’ve been hit maybe 5 times… not strangled or slapped but like pushed to the ground. Manhandled kicked and pinched until my mid section bruised. I can’t speak to anyone at all about this… I have no place to vent and if anything no one will believe that my husband is capable because to everyone else he’s the most fun most charismatic guy… I have told him I won’t tolerate it but he did it again. We are traveling right now and he pushed me to the ground in the club and dragged me by my hair outside yelling and cursing at me.. so many people told him to stop but he didn’t. What do I do? I have no support. I just want to make him realize I’m a good wife… | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I’ve been married 2.5 years. When we were dating before he was really kind at first and then yes he started showing his true colors. He becomes a completely different person when he is angry like his body starts convulsing and shaking and he says and does the most horrid things. He first started throwing things at me, TV remote water bottle - and I spoke to his parents about it and they just brushed it off. After we got married - I’ve been hit maybe 5 times… not strangled or slapped but like pushed to the ground. Manhandled kicked and pinched until my mid section bruised. I can’t speak to anyone at all about this… I have no place to vent and if anything no one will believe that my husband is capable because to everyone else he’s the most fun most charismatic guy… I have told him I won’t tolerate it but he did it again. We are traveling right now and he pushed me to the ground in the club and dragged me by my hair outside yelling and cursing at me.. so many people told him to stop but he didn’t. What do I do? I have no support. I just want to make him realize I’m a good wife… [/INST] Communication </s> |
I (20f) finally got the courage, prepared for whatever to come, and had the “this needs to change, if this happens again our five month old son and I are leaving” talk with my fiancé (25m). He refused to see everything I explained saying either he didn’t remember doingsaying that or asking when something he didsaid happened. He’d say that he is just really stressed out and doesn’t know why, started asking me why he would be. He’d say that he needs help, even after I kept telling him that his family and I have given him all the advice and help that we can—that he is the only one that can help himself now. He told me that if he doesn’t let out “small violent urges” like slamming, throwing, or breaking things while yelling at our son, me, or just in general then how is he supposed to get out the anger. He said that if he lets it all build up then it’ll get bad bad when he explodes and that I “don’t want that to happen.” Near the end of it he had turned himself into the victim and made me the villain. He kept saying things like no one cares what he thinks or how he feels, that I don’t give his parenting opinions a chance (I’m not comfortable with us drinking around our son or spanking him as discipline, which he’s a violent drunk and knows he’ll take spanking too far), that no one helps him, etc. I told him that we do care, we always express interest and we have actively given him all the advice we can, and that we are tired of doing everything for him so we’ve stopped he doesn’t clean up after himself or do any basic household chores. I told him that I need a partner and our son needs a father, and that I would like to be loved nicely. He proceeded to say that he doesn’t understand or see how he doesn’t treat me nicely and that he’s doing what he can to be good to our son. So it just circled all the way back around to the beginning, explaining everything that has been done and said. It ended with him only apologizing once. What did he apologize for? “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry I’m not a good person.” So I stuck to the whole point of the conversation and said one more time, “If things don’t change, if you do any of those things one more time, then we need to take a break.” And I started to go out to sit in my car, he asked where I was going. I told him that I needed to be alone. He responded with, “I don’t want to be left alone with myself.” I’ve been through that stupid ass tactic before with a couple of friends, it wasn’t happening again. I stuck to going to sit in my car. I sat out there for 20 minutes trying to get ahold of a friend and breathe. I came back in and he was already fast asleep snoring. Woke up and he’s been acting like nothing happened, like what he usually does after we have serious discussions or arguments. He said he was sorry about staying so late at his parents over the water heater issue, said “you’re mine, aren’t you?” and “I’m terrified of losing you”, started kissing all over me, and tried initiating sex. I have given up at this point. That was my last chance at trying to talk to him. I think this relationship is pretty much over and he is just avoiding it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice or outlook on this would be helpful, but also thank you for listening. | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> I (20f) finally got the courage, prepared for whatever to come, and had the “this needs to change, if this happens again our five month old son and I are leaving” talk with my fiancé (25m). He refused to see everything I explained saying either he didn’t remember doingsaying that or asking when something he didsaid happened. He’d say that he is just really stressed out and doesn’t know why, started asking me why he would be. He’d say that he needs help, even after I kept telling him that his family and I have given him all the advice and help that we can—that he is the only one that can help himself now. He told me that if he doesn’t let out “small violent urges” like slamming, throwing, or breaking things while yelling at our son, me, or just in general then how is he supposed to get out the anger. He said that if he lets it all build up then it’ll get bad bad when he explodes and that I “don’t want that to happen.” Near the end of it he had turned himself into the victim and made me the villain. He kept saying things like no one cares what he thinks or how he feels, that I don’t give his parenting opinions a chance (I’m not comfortable with us drinking around our son or spanking him as discipline, which he’s a violent drunk and knows he’ll take spanking too far), that no one helps him, etc. I told him that we do care, we always express interest and we have actively given him all the advice we can, and that we are tired of doing everything for him so we’ve stopped he doesn’t clean up after himself or do any basic household chores. I told him that I need a partner and our son needs a father, and that I would like to be loved nicely. He proceeded to say that he doesn’t understand or see how he doesn’t treat me nicely and that he’s doing what he can to be good to our son. So it just circled all the way back around to the beginning, explaining everything that has been done and said. It ended with him only apologizing once. What did he apologize for? “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry I’m not a good person.” So I stuck to the whole point of the conversation and said one more time, “If things don’t change, if you do any of those things one more time, then we need to take a break.” And I started to go out to sit in my car, he asked where I was going. I told him that I needed to be alone. He responded with, “I don’t want to be left alone with myself.” I’ve been through that stupid ass tactic before with a couple of friends, it wasn’t happening again. I stuck to going to sit in my car. I sat out there for 20 minutes trying to get ahold of a friend and breathe. I came back in and he was already fast asleep snoring. Woke up and he’s been acting like nothing happened, like what he usually does after we have serious discussions or arguments. He said he was sorry about staying so late at his parents over the water heater issue, said “you’re mine, aren’t you?” and “I’m terrified of losing you”, started kissing all over me, and tried initiating sex. I have given up at this point. That was my last chance at trying to talk to him. I think this relationship is pretty much over and he is just avoiding it. I don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice or outlook on this would be helpful, but also thank you for listening. [/INST] Communication </s> |
On January 24, after three weeks of love bombing, I called him out for something I didn’t agree with. He got angry and issued two slaps to my face, I kept telling him to have sympathy on me. He then poured orange juice over me and all over the house which I had just cleaned, I refused to stay quiet and he then poured soap on me. I spent the next hour and a half cleaning up as he laughed and said this was what I deserved, all while seven months pregnant. The next day, after hours and hours of crying and stressing myself out, I felt very sick and had bad pelvic pain. I asked him to take me to the hospital because I didn’t feel well, he claimed I was the girl who cried wolf. I repeatedly said please just take me, he refused. I then simply took a cab into the hospital to get myself and baby checked out. While in the hospital, my abuser continued spewing hate. He mentioned how he wishes the child would die so that he could get a second shot or how he would leave me if she came out mentally ill from all the stress “I put on her”. How a man could spew such hate while a woman is in the hospital is beyond me. Baby and I are fine, thank god. How do you walk away from this? All while seven months pregnant? Do abuse victims ever ask what you did to deserve this life to begin with? | Communication | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> On January 24, after three weeks of love bombing, I called him out for something I didn’t agree with. He got angry and issued two slaps to my face, I kept telling him to have sympathy on me. He then poured orange juice over me and all over the house which I had just cleaned, I refused to stay quiet and he then poured soap on me. I spent the next hour and a half cleaning up as he laughed and said this was what I deserved, all while seven months pregnant. The next day, after hours and hours of crying and stressing myself out, I felt very sick and had bad pelvic pain. I asked him to take me to the hospital because I didn’t feel well, he claimed I was the girl who cried wolf. I repeatedly said please just take me, he refused. I then simply took a cab into the hospital to get myself and baby checked out. While in the hospital, my abuser continued spewing hate. He mentioned how he wishes the child would die so that he could get a second shot or how he would leave me if she came out mentally ill from all the stress “I put on her”. How a man could spew such hate while a woman is in the hospital is beyond me. Baby and I are fine, thank god. How do you walk away from this? All while seven months pregnant? Do abuse victims ever ask what you did to deserve this life to begin with? [/INST] Communication </s> |
Hi there. First time posting here & honestly I'm not sure how I feel. My case against my ex husband has been "cold" since Covid started. Long story short, I married my highschool sweetheart, he was an amazing partner until, well, he decided to take the mask off 5 years in.. He was a cheater, and abused me verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually. Raped me often and I reported it over and over, but they said they couldn't force charges against someone I was married to. Countless police reports and calls, and they let him go Everytime. Because of his job, He has strong ties within the community and law enforcement. They over looked everything.. when I finally got away from him, the stalking began. He even broke into my home and had placed hidden GoPro cameras in my bedroom. He threatened to kill me and our children often and even bragged to others about it. He escalated and escalated. Finally in 2017, I escaped him safely with my children. The threats and stalking continued, and in 2018 a detective took my case and started looking into things. Unfortunately, she did nothing with it and actually told me there's no evidence of anything and closed my case. I've been devastated, forced to co parent with my abuser and rapist and he's out here living his best life above the law, not being held accountable for anything. I was depressed, suffering with debilitating PTSD, I eventually had to move on because life continues, right? It had to. I actually got remarried, and I'm expecting a new baby with my husband, I'm doing well despite the fact that I'm still forced to coparent with this terrible man and have had to call DCF multiple times over things he's done to my children. Like always, he gets away with it. Today, out of nowhere, I get a call. A new detective wants to reopen my cold case and start investigating to push over to the state attorney's office for charges. I'm dumbfounded. I'm meeting with her next week to go over everything. I'm honestly all over the place with emotions. Thankfully I have it all in a box that I've kept in my attic. Police reports, images of injuries, witness statements. I just don't know what to think or what I'm supposed to expect. I just want justice. But I'm scared. | Legal | <s>[INST]<<SYS>>You are a domestic violence analysis robot.Extract the information support needs about domestic violence from the post below. We have 8 kinds of information support needs. The followings are the types and their definition. A.Shelters/DV center/Agency：Any organizations working for domestic violence survivors, including shelters, community centers, agency, NGOs etc. B.Legal:Information related to legal system, laws, justice, divorce procedure C.Childbearing:Information related to the rights to take care children, difficulties to take care children. D.Police:Information related to calling police for action, police reactions, police helpfulness. E.DV report procedure/Documentation:Information related to how to report DV cases, what documents are needed and what evidence are mandatory. F.Safety planning:Information related to safety measures to protect the survivors, steps to leave the relationship safely and plans for safety reporting. G.DV knowledge:Seeking information about DV criteria, red flags, cycle of DV, types of DV etc. H:Communication:Information realted to the communication strategies with family, friends, children and others during and after DV. Learning from the definition and return the the catrgry from the eight types. <</SYS>> Hi there. First time posting here & honestly I'm not sure how I feel. My case against my ex husband has been "cold" since Covid started. Long story short, I married my highschool sweetheart, he was an amazing partner until, well, he decided to take the mask off 5 years in.. He was a cheater, and abused me verbally, emotionally, physically and sexually. Raped me often and I reported it over and over, but they said they couldn't force charges against someone I was married to. Countless police reports and calls, and they let him go Everytime. Because of his job, He has strong ties within the community and law enforcement. They over looked everything.. when I finally got away from him, the stalking began. He even broke into my home and had placed hidden GoPro cameras in my bedroom. He threatened to kill me and our children often and even bragged to others about it. He escalated and escalated. Finally in 2017, I escaped him safely with my children. The threats and stalking continued, and in 2018 a detective took my case and started looking into things. Unfortunately, she did nothing with it and actually told me there's no evidence of anything and closed my case. I've been devastated, forced to co parent with my abuser and rapist and he's out here living his best life above the law, not being held accountable for anything. I was depressed, suffering with debilitating PTSD, I eventually had to move on because life continues, right? It had to. I actually got remarried, and I'm expecting a new baby with my husband, I'm doing well despite the fact that I'm still forced to coparent with this terrible man and have had to call DCF multiple times over things he's done to my children. Like always, he gets away with it. Today, out of nowhere, I get a call. A new detective wants to reopen my cold case and start investigating to push over to the state attorney's office for charges. I'm dumbfounded. I'm meeting with her next week to go over everything. I'm honestly all over the place with emotions. Thankfully I have it all in a box that I've kept in my attic. Police reports, images of injuries, witness statements. I just don't know what to think or what I'm supposed to expect. I just want justice. But I'm scared. [/INST] Legal </s> |